Royal Rumble 2019
Date: January 27, 2019
Location: Chase Field, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 48,193
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s time to go back to the stadium with another major show. The Royal Rumble has changed a good bit in recent years as it is now another extended show with a pair of Royal Rumble matches instead of just one. No one is exactly jumping off the page as a favorite in either of them, though Becky Lynch is currently the most popular person in the company. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Bobby Roode/Chad Gable vs. Scott Dawson/Rezar

Non-title but if Dawson and Rezar (regular partners injured) win, the regular teams get a title shot each. And yes, this match was completely necessary as a last minute addition. The match is so awesome that a cameraman falls down during Roode and Gable’s entrance for the always fun camera shot. Drake Maverick is with Dawson and Rezar. Dawson’s headlock on Roode doesn’t get very far as Roode takes him into the corner for a monkey flip from Gable. Wilder wouldn’t have let that happen.

An exchange of near falls doesn’t go very far so Gable hits a springboard spinning crossbody for two. Dawson takes him down though and catapults Gable into a chokeslam to put the champs in trouble. Rezar chokes on the rope and Dawson grabs a northern lights suplex for two. The chinlock doesn’t last long as it’s back to Rezar to keep knocking Gable around.

Dawson sends him into the ropes but they bang heads for a double knockdown. Rezar comes back in and tries another chokeslam but Gable reverses into an armbar over the ropes. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Roode, who hits a spinebuster on Dawson. Back up and Dawson dropkicks Rezar by mistake, leaving Roode to take a neckbreaker/moonsault combination for the pin at 6:55.

Rating: D+. This would be a textbook definition of a match that did not need to be added to the show and did nothing more than fill in time. As usual, that’s not a good idea and yet it keeps happening around here almost every show. I’m not sure how much of a point there was to having the makeshift tag team thrown out there to lose when Akam wasn’t going to be back for months. Nothing good here and a match that didn’t need to happen.

Kickoff Show: United States Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Rusev

Nakamura is challenging and Lana is here with Rusev. Nakamura gets driven into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs and a suplex brings him right back out. They head outside but Nakamura gets in a running kick to the face off the steps, setting up the running knee to the jaw. Back in and Bad Vibrations into the running knee to the ribs gets two and we hit the front facelock. Rusev fights up and punches away, setting up the spinwheel kick for two.

A suicide dive is blocked with a kick to the head so Rusev knocks him over again. Nakamura kicks him in the head again so Rusev scores with the Machka Kick and a swinging release Rock Bottom. Since Rusev stops for half a second though, Rusev pulls him into a triangle choke, which is countered with a suplex. That works so well that Rusev loads up a superplex, only to get reversed into a Landslide for two. Nakamura goes for the turnbuckle pad but Lana gets on the apron (and grabs her ankle) to point it out. That just results in Rusev knocking her down by mistake, setting up Kinshasa for the pin and the title at 10;15.

Rating: C-. Just a little better than the opener but not all that much. Nakamura taking the title from Rusev just over a month into the title reign doesn’t exactly mean much, but that’s the case with so many of the midcard title changes around here. The match was a watchable enough power exchange but it still feels like a title change for the sake of a title change.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Hideo Itami vs. Kalisto vs. Akira Tozawa vs. Buddy Murphy

Murphy is defending, one fall to a finish, and Ariya Daivari is here with Itami. They circle each other for a bit until Itami rolls to the floor. That leaves the other three to trade rollups for two each until Murphy hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to drop Tozawa. Kalisto’s very springboardy hurricanrana is broken up as everything breaks down again. Kalisto tries a Cannonball off the apron but gets caught in Murphy’s suplex instead.

Itami gets back in and poses, meaning it’s time for the showdown with Murphy. The champ gets struck down in the corner and Itami demands respect as we can see his future going down the drain in a hurry. Murphy goes outside and tries to powerbomb Kalisto into the barricade, only to have Tozawa hit a suicide dive into Kalisto, which sends Murphy into the barricade for a crash. Itami throws Kalisto and Tozawa back inside so he can get two on each of them.

A Murphy distraction lets Kalisto kick Itami in the head and it’s a monkey flip to send Tozawa onto Murphy on the floor. Murphy comes back in and gets missile dropkicked by Tozawa, only to have Itami break up the top rope backsplash. Itami gets knocked to the outside though and Tozawa hits a suicide headbutt. Kalisto and Murphy follow with dives of their own with the champ getting the best of it.

Back in and Kalisto hits a hurricanrana driver for two on Murphy, who is right back up with a Liger Bomb for his own near fall. Tozawa scores with a reverse hurricanrana on Murphy but it’s Itami breaking that up. The Salida Del Sol gets two on Itami and everyone is down. A series of kicks puts everyone down again for a bit so Murphy knees Kalisto and Tozawa. Murphy slips out of whatever Itami’s spinning knee deal was (I STILL don’t get that one) and knees him down as well, setting up Murphy’s Law to retain at 12:06.

Rating: B-. Now that’s more like it with an action packed twelve minute match that actually felt like it mattered for a change. Or at least it felt like a match that had been set up more than thirty seconds before they came to the ring. Murphy continues to look like a star and it’s easy to see why he’s a much bigger deal just a year later.

The opening video looks at how important the Rumble is, with some great historical footage included. It has more history than any show not named Wrestlemania so it’s a smart move to go into that well. This switches into your regular opening video, which does its usual good job at looking at the rest of the card.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Asuka

Asuka is defending after taking the title from Becky in a TLC match at TLC, with Charlotte being included as well. Becky is on fire at this point and it’s a matter of time before she gets the big hero moment. They go with the aggressive lockup to start and that goes absolutely nowhere. Becky’s running shoulder earns her a running dropkick and a lot of shouting from the champ. Neither of them can get the arm so Asuka kicks her in the leg for two instead.

Becky is right back up with shots to the face and a kick to the ribs, followed by a running clothesline to sent Asuka to the floor. They switches places and you just don’t do that to Asuka, who scores with the running hip attack. Asuka heads outside as well and gets sent into the apron, only to send Becky into the post. The Bexploder sends Asuka into the barricade though and Becky is starting to seethe.

That means the aggressive stomping in the corner and the next of what is likely to be a bunch of armbars. That’s broken up so Becky avoids another hip attack and hammers away in the ropes. Asuka isn’t about to get beaten up though and pulls Becky into the Asuka Lock while still in the ropes. With that broken up, Becky fights out of the corner and grabs a Disarm-Her in the corner. That doesn’t last long either so Asuka knees her out of the air. Asuka strikes away but misses a missile dropkick so Becky can hit a Rock Bottom for two.

Back up again and they fight to the apron with Asuka hitting a fisherman’s neckbreaker to the floor and they’re both down. Asuka is in first and Becky beats the count, earning herself a basement dropkick to the head. They slug it out until Asuka kicks her head off for two. Asuka goes up so Becky stops her with a kick of her own and a super Bexploder gets a rather near fall as the crowd is staying right with them.

The middle rope legdrop misses though and Asuka catches her in a Disarm-Her. To keep up the same line of thinking, Becky gets her own Asuka Lock before switching to the Disarm-Her. Becky is too weak to get it on in full so Asuka rolls out and grabs the Asuka Lock and flips forward Cattle Mutilation style for the tag at 17:09.

Rating: B+. These two beat the heck out of each other and that finisher was the mega death version of the Asuka Lock. It’s really weird to see Becky lose though and it was even more surprising watching this live as Becky was the hottest thing around. Having her tap is a bit much, but sweet goodness would they get mileage out of that loss. The counters and different styles were awesome here though and it’s a near instant classic.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Shane McMahon/The Miz vs. The Bar

The Bar is defending and Miz’s dad is in the front row. Miz and Shane are together because of the Best In The World tournament but Shane has agreed to be nice to him so they can succeed together. In other words, expect the Shane Show to continue. Shane spears Sheamus down at the bell and it’s time for an early breather. Miz comes in to roll Cesaro up for two but it’s way too early for the Skull Crushing Finale.

Sheamus grabs Miz from behind to hold him in the corner though and Cesaro scores with the running uppercut. A right hand knocks Shane to the floor so Miz kicks away to avenge his fallen partner. They all head outside with Miz having to be saved from a double powerbomb through the announcers’ table. It’s too early for the big elbow through the table so Shane hits a top rope clothesline on Sheamus instead.

Shane gets sent hard into the barricade and that should let him stay down and use up all the oxygen in the first three rows. Back in and Sheamus drops a knee on Miz before cranking on the arm. The ten forearms to the chest and a double suplex back in get two as Shane is back up onto the apron. Cesaro drops a middle rope ax handle for two and Sheamus comes back in to talk more trash.

Miz sends Sheamus to the floor though and a backdrop puts Cesaro down as well. That’s finally enough for the hot tag to Shane and it’s bad punches a go-go. A DDT gets two on Sheamus and Shane loads up Coast To Coast to both of them at once. Cesaro pulls him out of the air and into the Swing though and it’s a rather long one this time.

Since it was just a really long Swing, Shane is right back with a triangle choke. Sheamus makes a save and it’s the spike White Noise for two, with no one making the save. Well you knew he was going to kick out of at least one finisher. Miz is back in to save Shane from the Brogue Kick, which hits Cesaro by mistake. The shooting star press finishes Cesaro for the titles at 13:23.

Rating: C. It’s every complaint about a Shane match that you could find: he’s pushed too hard, he looks ready to explode from hyperventilating after about eighteen seconds and he kicks out of a big finisher. Oh and now he’s a champion, naturally getting the pin in the process. It had already gotten bad and it was only going to get worse from here.

Shane and Miz celebrate with Papa Mizanin as the announcers get to praise Shane a bit.

Cole announces the attendance and Meltzer has a correction out immediately.

We recap Ronda Rousey vs. Sasha Banks. Rousey wants to see Banks get fired up and is ready to show us the difference between a Boss and a champion. Sasha promised to prove how good she was and made Natalya tap in a tag match on Monday. Graves: “It’s one thing to make Natalya submit.” Nice little unintentional insult there.

Sasha isn’t concerned about keeping her emotions in check. Tonight, she’s proving that she’s the best in the world.

Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Ronda Rousey

Rousey is defending and goes straight for the armbar but Banks armdrags her right back down. A springboard armdrag doesn’t work that well and Rousey mocks Banks’ pose. Rousey tries her own Three Amigos but Banks blocks the third, only to have to go to the ropes to avoid an armbar. A kick to the ribs puts Banks on the floor but Rousey punches the post by mistake.

That lets Banks hit a suicide dive to put Rousey down for a change. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Banks hits the running knees in the corner instead. Back up and Rousey hits a running elbow to the face for two so Banks hits a running knee of her own for the same. Rousey shrugs it off and loads up Piper’s Pit but gets reversed into a nasty armbar, complete with some finger bending.

Banks switches over into the Bank Statement but it’s broken up in a hurry. Now Piper’s Pit can connect and Rousey armbars her over the ropes. Rousey goes up but gets superplexed right back down so Banks can go back to the armbar. You don’t do that to Rousey, who rolls Banks over with some judo throws. They go outside with Rousey grabbing the armbar in full to make Banks tap.

Back in and Rousey hammers away in the corner but Banks gets in a shot of her own for the double knockdown. The armbar is broken up again and another Piper’s Pit is countered into a crossbody. The Bank Statement goes on until Banks switches to a Fujiwara armbar. Rousey rolls out and gutwrench suplexes the heck out of her, setting up another Piper’s Pit for the pin at 13:49.

Rating: B. This took time to get going but they were rolling at the end. Rousey was such a freak of nature as she probably hadn’t had 25 matches by this point (certainly not 10 big ones) and was going back and forth with one of the best around on the big stage. The battle of the submissions attempts worked well here and I got way into this all over again.

Post match they do a left handed handshake since Banks’ arm is wrecked. Banks does hold up the Horsewomen sign though because she isn’t the nicest loser in the world.

We recap the Kickoff Show. We’re so lucky.

John Cena has been injured and won’t be participating in the Royal Rumble. He was totally and really here and everything though. Honest. Braun Strowman is replacing him.

Beth Phoenix joins commentary.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Lacey Evans (making her main roster in-ring debut, save for a random Main Event match) is in at #1, meaning she needs to introduce herself. Natalya is in at #2 and Lacey runs the ropes to start. Neither can hit a dropkick and Lacey can’t quite do a nip up. A clothesline can’t get rid of Natalya and she reverses a powerbomb with a hurricanrana. Natalya hits the discus lariat as Mandy Rose is in at #3, sending Graves over the edge all over again.

Another discus lariat drops Mandy and it’s the double Sharpshooter, which Graves says is like the even more stuffed Oreos. Liv Morgan is in at #4 and is out in less than ten seconds. Lacey and Mandy start double teaming Natalya but Lacey sends Mandy into the corner for the double Bronco Buster. Mickie James is in at #5, giving us the first non-blonde. House is cleaned in a hurry until Mickie has to save herself from being tossed by Mandy. Ember Moon is in at #6 and gets to clean house as well. No one can eliminate anyone else and it’s Billie Kay in at #7.

She’s fine with staying on the floor though, saying she’s going to wait for Peyton Royce to go in. More non-eliminations continue and it’s Nikki Cross in at #8 (Graves: “Batten down the hatches.” I really need to find out what hatches are and what it means to batten something.). She runs over Billie at ringside and then dives onto everyone else inside. Mandy and Nikki have a weird showdown with Nikki getting the better of it. Billie is inside now and get beaten up as well because she isn’t great on her own. Peyton Royce is in at #9 and it’s IIconics time. The team beats down Nikki and it’s time to fight on the ropes some more.

Tamina is in at #10, giving us Lacey, Natalya, Mandy, Mickie, Ember, Billie, Nikki Peyton and Tamina, meaning the ring is too full. Tamina gets to wreck people until Nikki gets to have another not that interesting staredown. A dropkick and tackle put Tamina through the ropes but she’s right back in with a kick to Nikki’s face. Mickie low bridges Tamina to the apron but she comes back in with the Superfly Splash to Nikki. A superkick gets rid of Mickie and it’s Xia Li in at #11.

Li kicks away at a lot of people but gets knocked down by Tamina. Sarah Logan, in Braveheart paint, is in at #12 as the ring is full and the crowd is dead. Ember has to hang on by her feet but pulls herself back in (finally a reaction) and the IIconics get rid of Cross. Charlotte is in at #13 and PLEASE get rid of some people. She gets jumped on the way in but everyone is fought off in a hurry. Lacey eliminates both IIconics at once and Charlotte kicks Li out to finally clear the ring a bit. Charlotte and Tamina have a staredown (NO ONE CARES ABOUT TAMINA!!!) and Charlotte gets rocked by a superkick.

Kairi Sane is in at #14 and she runs to the ring while looking through a telescope because of course she does. Charlotte gets rid of Tamina as Sane dives in. Charlotte chops Sane down but she’s right back up with the Insane Elbow to Logan. That’s enough to get rid of Sarah and it’s Maria Kanellis in at #15. She breaks up a staredown between Charlotte and Lacey, including a double bulldog. Charlotte is back up with a spear to Maria, who apparently doesn’t belong in this ring.

Naomi is in at #16 and that wakes the crowd up a bit. Mandy sends Naomi to the apron but gets backdropped out, only to pull Naomi to the floor. The feet don’t touch so Naomi backflips onto the barricade, tightrope walks across, and does a crazy athletic jump from the barricade to the steps. And then Mandy pulls her off the steps for the elimination anyway in a great heel move. Charlotte kicks Lacey out and it’s Candice LeRae in at #17. Candice Black Widows Ember but it’s broken up in a hurry.

Natalya powerbombs Charlotte out of the corner and it’s Alicia Fox in at #18 (I had almost forgotten about her.). Maria wants to be friends with Alicia so they beat up Sane. Alicia puts her captain’s hat on Maria before stopping to dance. Maria throws it on the ground and stomps on it….sending Alicia into a fit. She’s back up to eliminate Maria though as Kacy Catanzaro is in at #19 and starts with the hurricanranas. A slingshot version puts Alicia on the apron but she skins the cat to come back in.

Zelina Vega is in at #20, giving us Natalya, Moon, Charlotte, Sane, Candice, Alicia, Catanzaro and Vega. Candice and Vega slug it out as fallout from Andrade vs. Johnny Gargano but they slow down, meaning it’s yet another lull. Ruby Riott is in at #21 and has Logan and Morgan with her so all three pull Charlotte to the floor for some triple teaming. Fox gets the same treatment and Vega rolls to the floor to hide underneath the ring.

Riott throws Fox back inside and then eliminates her, followed by a powerbomb into the barricade for LeRae and another elimination. Dana Brooke is in at #22 and hits a weird looking sitout powerbomb on Catanzaro. Now the Squad pulls Brooke to the floor (I really can’t stand this whole people being on the floor but not eliminated deal as it makes things more confusing than they need to be) and Riott eliminates Sane. Io Shirai is in at #23 and dropkicks the Squad down, setting up the big moonsault to the floor (she was never in so it’s not an elimination).

Shirai and Riott go over the top to the apron for a slugout but they both get back in. Rhea Ripley is in at #24 but the star power hasn’t started for her just yet. She wrecks things a bit until Moon takes her down with a wheelbarrow faceplant. Brooke kicks Catanzaro to the floor but she holds her legs up, hand walks to the post, flips up to it and climbs back in to blow away Naomi’s save. Ripley blocks Catanzaro’s spinning DDT though and tosses her out for real.

Sonya Deville is in at #25 and spears Moon down but Brooke hits her with a shoulder. Brooke enziguris Ripley but gets sent to the apron and dropkicked out. Vega leans from under the ring to laugh at Brooke….and here’s freaking Hornswoggle to chase Vega back inside. That doesn’t last long as Ripley throws her out, with Hornswoggle chasing Vega to the back. Alexa Bliss is in at #26 to a MAJOR pop in her first match since September. The moonsault knees to the ribs hit Moon but Sonya pounds Bliss down in the corner. Bliss is right back by sending her to the apron though and a right hand gets rid of Sonya.

Bayley is in at lucky #27 and gets her own house cleaning segment, including a clothesline to get rid of Riott. That’s not all though as she knocks Ripley out as well as Lana is in at #28. Well not in really as she can barely walk due to her ankle injury from earlier. The trainer comes out to check on her in the aisle as Shirai saves herself from an elimination. Lana is still being checked on as Nia Jax is in at #29, only to jump Lana in the aisle for a bonus.

Fit Finlay comes out to tell her to go to the ring and it’s time for the giant to wreck some people. Shirai makes the mistake of trying a moonsault and gets knocked out in a hurry. Natalya somehow gets Jax up for a fireman’s carry but can’t do anything else with it and gets eliminated after 56 minutes. Carmella is in at #30 (an honor she won in Mixed Match Challenge), giving us a final group of Moon, Charlotte, Bliss, Bayley, Lana, Jax and Carmella, though Lana hasn’t gotten anywhere near the ring.

Carmella gets in a dropkick on Moon but Jax runs her over. Hold on though as Lana is still down so here’s Becky Lynch to say she wants the spot instead. Finlay says do it and the fans are WAY into this again. Becky gets the long awaited showdown with Jax but Charlotte breaks it up and sends Becky to the apron. That doesn’t work either and it’s Becky coming back in with a missile dropkick to Jax. Bliss goes after Moon and pulls her to the apron by the hair (freaking ow man) and then chokeshoves her out after a rather ridiculous 53 minutes.

Carmella hits a Bronco Buster on Bliss and there’s a Buckle Bomb from Bayley. Carmella and Bayley team up to throw Bliss out so Jax clotheslines them both. Charlotte saves Becky from Jax’s facebreaker so Carmella gives Becky a Downward Spiral instead. For some reason Charlotte goes up top so Carmella tries a running headscissors, only to get sent to the apron.

That lasts all of two seconds but Charlotte puts her out there again and a big boot gets us down to four (Bayley, Jax, Charlotte and Becky). Bayley dropkicks Charlotte and Jax against the ropes but Jax is right back with a big boot to eliminate Bayley, leaving us with three. The three way showdown is on with Jax splashing both of them in the corner. That sends Becky to the floor (not out) and it’s a Charlotte vs. Jax showdown that is a little more interesting than it sounds.

Something like a slow motion AA has Jax in trouble but Charlotte can’t follow up. Charlotte gets her onto the apron and Becky pulls her out, leaving us with Charlotte vs. Becky in the rivalry that won’t end. Hold on though as Jax shoves Becky off the steps and we have a knee injury. Referees check on her but Becky pulls herself back in for the fight. Well kind of at least as Becky falls straight back down as soon as she’s inside.

Becky says it’s her time and Charlotte has already taken enough from her. Charlotte, obviously, goes right after the knee but Becky kicks her in the face. She sends Charlotte to the apron but another kick to the leg cuts off the rally. Charlotte misses a charge though and a forearm sends Becky to Wrestlemania at 1:11:23.

Rating: D+. The Becky parts made it better but WOW this was badly laid out. There were far too many instances of people just standing around and doing nothing with several people staying in there too long. Ember for 52 minutes? Natalya for 56? Mandy Rose for nearly 26? You don’t need everyone in there for that long and it’s ok to come up with something other than “everyone stays on the ropes while two people do something in the middle” over and over. They got the right winner but it was a heck of a chore to get there.

Becky can barely stand but is very pleased with the results. The celebration goes on for a LONG time.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Daniel Bryan for the Smackdown World Title. Bryan turned heel to steal the title and became the crazy environmentalist so, after losing to Brock Lesnar at Survivor Series, it’s time for a (second) rematch. AJ is out to show that he isn’t complacent, which included attacking Vince McMahon in a story that went nowhere.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Daniel Bryan

AJ is challenging. We get the Big Match Intros and AJ hammers him down in the corner so the champ bails for a bit. Back in and they fight on the mat for a bit with AJ’s wristlock not getting him very far. A headlock works a bit better as the first gear work continues. Bryan bails to the floor again but comes back in….to get punched in the face. An uppercut puts Styles in the corner and he gets dropped chest first onto the post to give Bryan a target.

Bryan starts in on the shoulder and cranks on a hammerlock on the mat with Styles having to use his foot to reach a rope. A cross armbreaker is broken up as well so Bryan punches him in the face to even the score. AJ scores with a dropkick and the pinfall reversal sequence gets some near falls each. Bryan tosses him hard into the corner and that means the running dropkick.

A dragon suplex has AJ (with his bloody nose) rocked again and Bryan kicks him off the top and out to the floor. Bryan goes out after him but it’s the moonsault off the barricade into the perfect reverse DDT (that’s one of the best he’s ever hit). Back in and the springboard 450 hits Bryan’s knees, meaning the LeBell Lock goes on. Not to be outdone, AJ escapes and reverses into the Calf Crusher to stay on the knee.

That’s broken up as well and they’re both down for a bit. Bryan gets up first and kicks away at the arm, setting up the big kick to the head for two. AJ catches him on top and they slug it out up there, with Styles backflipping out of a belly to back superplex. The Calf Crusher goes on again before AJ switches to a cradle for two instead. Neither can get a backslide so AJ grabs a brainbuster for two more.

The Phenomenal Forearm is broken up with a kick to the arm but AJ kicks him away. The bad arm means he can’t use the regular springboard so he tries another version, only to get kicked out of the air again. They’re both down again…so here’s Erick Rowan of all people. Bryan knocks the referee down by mistake though, allowing Rowan to come in with a claw slam to Styles so Bryan can retain at 24:33.

Rating: B+. I’m not wild on the ending but you can’t have AJ lose a clean fall here. They were working a heck of a match here with both of them going with their own style and having the other broken down. I don’t particularly care for Rowan interfering, but he and Bryan would wind up being a nice enough team so well done, even if it wasn’t the best feeling at the time.

Post match Rowan holds AJ up for the running knee from Bryan so things can continue.

We recap Finn Balor vs. Brock Lesnar for the Raw World Title in a match hyped up as David vs. Goliath. Balor is small but can do extraordinary stuff so he wants to fight Lesnar. This isn’t the Demon for reasons of Balor wanting to do it himself, even though the Demon IS Balor, meaning the whole thing doesn’t make a lot of sense. Or they just don’t want Lesnar losing because that wouldn’t be very Lesnarish.

Raw World Title: Finn Balor vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Balor dropkicks him at the bell to start and another running dropkick sends him into the corner. The first belly to belly cuts him off in a hurry though and we settle down for the first time. Another belly to belly on the floor rocks Balor again and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table.

Balor sends him ribs first into the corner of said table though and he does it again for painful measure. Brock can barely stand up as he throws Balor back inside for the shoulders in the corner. Another belly to belly has Balor flying but Lesnar is wincing a bit. Lesnar gets in yet another suplex but this time Balor is up with a Sling Blade. That’s it for the offense though as Lesnar BLASTS him with a clothesline.

Lesnar can’t hit a German suplex though as the stomach gives out. The F5 is countered into a DDT and Balor gets smart by stomping at the ribs. The big flip dive to the floor puts Lesnar down again and Balor hits a second for good measure. A third flip dive takes Lesnar down again but Renee says we’re having a new champion to end Balor’s hopes. Back in and Balor kicks him in the face, setting up the Coup de Grace for two, with Lesnar spinning into the Kimura on the kickout, making Balor tap at 8:36.

Rating: C+. Well that was short. They had some moments in there but at the same time, Lesnar wasn’t exactly doing much for the first half of the match. It got better once he was selling but there are only so many things you can do in less than nine minutes. The stuff with Lesnar’s stomach being messed up was enough to go somewhere, but this was only so good.

Post match Lesnar beats Balor up a few more times. This is something else that went nowhere.

Jerry Lawler and JBL join commentary.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals again and Elias is in at #1, meaning it’s time for a song. Well make that insulting Phoenix until he’s interrupted by Jeff Jarrett of all people at #2. Jeff gets to strut and say ain’t I great as Elias is rather pleased by being interrupted by someone who brings something to the table. For now though, they need to sing together. And yes, they really are doing this three hours and forty minutes into a show with an hour long match to go. Jeff goes to spell his name so Elias hits him in the face to get things going.

Elias hammers away on the ropes and hits a clothesline so he can get in another catchphrase. A guitar shot to the back is enough to get rid of Jeff. Shinsuke Nakamura, last year’s winner, is in at #3 and he wastes no time in kicking Elias down. For some reason Elias goes up top for Old School, though it’s just an armdrag instead of a shot to the back. Kurt Angle is in at #4 to a big reaction and he starts in with the suplexes. Elias gets him in the corner though and it’s Big E. in at #5, with his gear including Kofi’s best Rumble moments. That’s rather cool….I think.

The Warrior Splash hits Nakamura but an Angle Slam takes Big E. down. Nakamura is back up with the running knee to Angle’s ribs and another running knee gets rid of Kurt. Honestly, it’s better to have him out that fast before he hurts himself again. Johnny Gargano is in at #6 and gets to clean house on Nakamura and Big E. The slingshot spear cuts Elias down and it’s Jinder Mahal in at #7. After he knocks everyone down, Gargano knocks Mahal out in about thirty seconds. The Singh Brothers get beaten up for a bonus and now it’s back to something that actually matters.

Samoa Joe is in at #8, just as Nakamura is surrounded in the corner. Elias gets kicked down and Joe just walks away from Gargano’s middle rope dive (that will always be cool). Joe dumps Big E. and it’s Curt Hawkins in at #9, still in the middle of his horrible losing streak. Hawkins gets in a few shots but bails to the floor in what is probably a smart move. The fans get behind Hawkins, even as Joe grabs him in the Koquina Clutch. For some reason Elias breaks that up and Hawkins bails to the floor again, this time hiding underneath the ring.

Seth Rollins is in at #10, giving us Elias, Nakamura, Gargano, Samoa Joe, Hawkins and Rollins. The springboard clotheslines hits Elias and there’s the Falcon Arrow to Gargano. Elias gets sent to the apron and then into the post for the elimination. It’s Titus O’Neil in at #11 and he crosses himself before charging to the ring, only to stop himself before getting to the apron in a funny moment. Titus sees Hawkins hiding underneath the ring and chases him inside, only to be eliminated almost immediately. Joe throws Hawkins out a second later to end the harmless comedy segment.

With the ring a little more cleared out, Kofi Kingston is in at #12 and things settle down a bit. As everyone fights by the ropes, Mustafa Ali is in at #13. Joe is waiting on him so Ali scores with a dropkick, only to get grabbed by Nakamura. That’s fine with Ali, who slips over the back and tells Nakamura to COME ON. Nakamura does just that and gets tossed out by Ali in quite the upset. Ali isn’t done either as he hits a tornado DDT on Gargano, only to get planted by Joe. Dean Ambrose, still in his pretty disastrous heel run, is in at #14 and goes right at it with Rollins, as expected.

With that broken up, Dean sends Kofi over the top but Kofi keeps one foot off the ground and rolls over to the steps to save himself. That’s not as good as his others, but maybe he’s crashing underneath the expectations. Kingston comes back in with a DDT to Dean, who is right back up to get rid of Gargano. No Way Jose, with the Conga Line, is in at #15 and Joe literally eliminates him in two seconds. No worries though as he and the Conga Line dance to the back as that was quite the use of an entrance.

Drew McIntyre is in at #16 and headbutts Jose for dancing too close to him. After cleaning some house, Joe and McIntyre slug it out for the hoss fight. The Claymore drops Joe and there’s one for Rollins as well as Xavier Woods is in at #17. As he is coming in, Kofi is knocked off the apron but sunset flips Woods, allowing him to keep one foot up.

Woods stands up with Kofi on his back (Cole to JBL: “I remember when you and Ron used to do this.”) and walks over to the steps for the real save of the year. Then McIntyre eliminates Woods and Kingston a second later because this show doesn’t like fun to last too long (completely appropriate for McIntyre of course). Pete Dunne is in at #18 and that gets a nice reaction. Dunne goes after Joe and Graves is rather pleased with everything going on at the moment.

Ali hangs on after being thrown to the apron and it’s Andrade in at #19. Andrade goes after Dunne in a match that sounds rather interesting indeed. With no one close to an elimination, Apollo Crews is in at #20, giving us Joe, Rollins, Ali, Ambrose, McIntyre, Dunne, Andrew and Apollo. McIntyre is sent to the apron and it’s Aleister Black (without the riser) in at #21. He goes right after Dunne in another match that sounds awesome (it’s almost like Dunne is great or something) but switches to Ambrose, with Black Mass connecting for the elimination.

Shelton Benjamin is in at #22 and goes at it with Crews for the athletic freak off. Crews saves himself from being eliminated as Shelton gets Koquina Clutched. That’s broken up and Ali dumps Joe in an upset. Baron Corbin is in at #23, fresh from his shift at *insert restaurant joke of the day here*. Deep Six drops Ali but he hangs onto the rope so Corbin knocks out Crews instead. Black and McIntyre slug it out and it’s Jeff Hardy in at #24 to keep the talent field high.

The Twisting Stunner hits Shelton and the Whisper in the Wind hits several people at the same time. Dunne bends Black’s fingers and Corbin tosses Black, followed by McIntyre doing the same to Dunne to clear some space. Rey Mysterio is in at #25 and charges into a chokebreaker from Corbin. With everyone fighting by the ropes, it’s Intercontinental Champion Bobby Lashley in at #26…and Rollins eliminates him in about fifteen seconds. How many times do they need to do that in one match?

Lashley pulls Rollins, who low bridged him out, to the floor and beats the heck out of him to let off some steam. Rollins is spinebustered through the announcers’ table and it’s Braun Strowman in at lucky #27 for a possible (though unlikely) winner. Strowman knocks Corbin out in a hurry and there goes Benjamin a few seconds later. McIntyre dumps Hardy as Dolph Ziggler, his recent rival, is in at #28. That means a superkick to get rid of McIntyre and it’s Randy Orton in at #29 for the slow walk to the ring.

Strowman is right there for the showdown and the RKO is blocked in a hurry. Andrade loads up a superplex on Ali, so Strowman puts them BOTH on his shoulders with Mysterio diving off the top to take them down in your HOW CAN HE DO THAT spot of the match. R-Truth (also here because of the Mixed Match Challenge) is in at #30….but hang on as Nia Jax of all people jumps him from behind to take his spot, continuing the near trolling levels of a push. That gives us a final group of Rollins, Ali, Andrade, Orton, Strowman, Ziggler, Orton and Jax.

Nia gets to wreck some people and Ali is out in a hurry after a surprising thirty plus minutes. Orton stares Jax down but can’t hit the surprise RKO attempt, earning himself a shoulder down. Jax tells Rey to go for the 619 on Orton but cuts him off, only to get superkicked by Ziggler. The 619 hits Jax and Orton connects with the RKO, setting up a baseball slide from Mysterio to get rid of her.

Orton tosses Mysterio and Andrade dumps Orton, leaving us with Ziggler, Andrade, and Rollins and Strowman on the floor. Strowman comes back in and splashes Andrade and Ziggler in the corners to send them outside again. Hold on though as Strowman needs to go to the floor again to run Rollins over.

Everyone goes after Strowman in a 2004 flashback but he gets rid of Andrade and Ziggler. Rollins uses the momentum to put him on the apron but charges into a chokeslam. Back in and Rollins grabs a guillotine to pull Strowman to the apron and sends him into the post. A kick to the ribs sets up the Stomp on the apron to get rid of Strowman to give Rollins the win at 57:34.

Rating: B. This was much more like it with a nice mix of brawling, comedy, action and an only somewhat guaranteed winner. I know you can’t really hide the fact that someone is a shoe in winner but it’s nice to see them at least giving it a little bit more drama. Rollins winning made sense here as he had been on fire for the last year and needed something like this. Good Rumble, though there have been a lot better.

SIGN POINTING, yes I said SIGN POINTING, ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I’m curious to see how this one holds up against the original rating as the length was driving me crazy this time around. There is a lot of good stuff on here but EGADS it’s a two hour Kickoff Show and then four hours and forty minutes of the main show. You really needed to have the weird Tag Team Title deal on the Kickoff Show and then put Miz and Shane on the main show? That, plus Bryan vs. Styles, could have been on a big Smackdown at worst and this show could have been trimmed down by 45 minutes.

The only bad thing on here is the women’s Royal Rumble, but when that one match is nearly an hour and fifteen minutes long, it has quite the negative impact on the rest of the show. The men’s match makes up for it and the card is much better than worse, but they really, really need to stop with these shows getting close to (or over in Wrestlemania’s case) seven hours. It doesn’t matter how good it is. If you’re going three hours over the length of Wrestlemania X7, the time is going to cause a lot of problems. Anyway, good show, which could have been great with a big editing job.

Ratings Comparison

Chad Gable/Bobby Roode vs. Scott Dawson/Rezar

Original: D+

2020 Redo: D+

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Rusev

Original: C

2020 Redo: C-

Buddy Murphy vs. Hideo Itami vs. Akira Tozawa vs. Kalisto

Original: C+

2020 Redo: B-

Asuka vs. Becky Lynch

Original: B+

2020 Redo: B+

The Bar vs. Shane McMahon/The Miz

Original: D

2020 Redo: C

Sasha Banks vs. Ronda Rousey

Original: B+

2020 Redo: B

Women’s Royal Rumble

Original: B

2020 Redo: D+

AJ Styles vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: C-

2020 Redo: B+

Brock Lesnar vs. Finn Balor

Original: C+

2020 Redo: C+

Men’s Royal Rumble

Original: D

2020 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2020 Redo: B-

WOW. I was actually shocked by the original ratings of those Rumbles and the Styles vs. Bryan match. I’ve mellowed a lot since then as the show really isn’t that bad.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/01/28/royal-rumble-2019-i-almost-had-a-birthday-watching-this-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble 2018
Date: January 28, 2018
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips, Booker T.

The big night is finally here and for the first time ever we have two Royal Rumbles in one night. This time around we have a women’s version to go with the standard men’s version and that opens up the doors for a lot more surprise entrants. Of course it also opens the door for a lot more boring action if the last few Rumbles are any indication. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Drew Gulak/TJP/Jack Gallagher vs. Kalisto/Gran Metalik/Lince Dorado

Drew takes Kalisto down by the arm to start as the announcers talk about the upcoming 205 Live General Manager. That just earns a few chants from the crowd, which Gulak of course can’t stand. It’s off to Gallagher vs. Metalik with Gran working on the knee until Lince and TJP come in to complete each trio’s ring time.

The announcers discuss dabbing until the villains are all sent outside. The three masked men hit stereo moonsaults from the same turnbuckle (very cool) to the floor as we take a break. Back with TJP kicking Lince in the ribs and handing it off to Gulak, who drops Dorado’s partners off the apron. Now the announcers speculate on the next General Manager, which is much more focused than you would expect from these guys.

Jack cranks on Dorado’s leg as about half of the HUGE group of empty seats opposite the hard camera is filled in. But hey, at least we have a meaningless match going on an hour and a half before the rest show starts. Gallagher goes to the middle rope, pauses to listen to Gulak telling him not to jump, and then misses a dive anyway. The hot tag brings in Metalik for the rope walk into the dropkick to put Gulak down. The rope walk elbow works just as well for two as everything breaks down. Stereo dives take Gallagher and Gulak down, leaving the Salida Del Sol to finish TJP at 13:13.

Rating: C. Take any match between some combination of these guys that you might have seen on 205 Live and add five minutes to get this match. I’m not sure how that’s supposed to entice me to watch a pay per view but I’m sure WWE is smarter than I am on that front. Nothing special here, outside of that triple moonsault that is. This would have been fine as the only dark match but with two more, it could have been cut.

Kickoff Show: Revival vs. Anderson and Gallows

Rematch from Monday where Anderson and Gallows won, followed by the Revival getting destroyed by DX and Scott Hall. The Brian Pillman style trunks don’t really suit Revival but anything is better than Monday. Dawson gets sent outside to start for a breather before it’s Gallows tossing both of them around. Back from a break with Dawson working on Anderson’s knee with a string of elbow drops.

Wilder comes in to crank the knee even more but Anderson keeps kicking him away. Therefore, in a good tag team idea, Revival double teams him to keep the advantage. Now why is that so hard to figure out? Of course the hot tag goes through a few seconds later but at least they were trying. Everything breaks down and Gallows scores with a splash for two. Everything breaks down and the Magic Killer is broken up. Dawson sidesteps a charge to post Gallows and Dash’s chop block is good for the pin on Anderson at 9:11.

Rating: C. Well, it was better than Monday. I’m glad Revival won and now of course we’re likely to have the rubber match tomorrow night because WWE loves their trilogies. The leg stuff was fine here but the break in the middle didn’t do it many favors. At least the right team won though and that helps a lot.

Kickoff Show: Bobby Roode vs. ???

Roode is defending in an Open Challenge answered by….Mojo Rawley. The fans think Mojo sucks as he sends Roode into the corner and actually hammers him down as we take a break. Back with Mojo driving knees in the corner and grabbing a chinlock. Roode fights up and hits a running forearm, followed by a neckbreaker for two. There’s the Blockbuster but the Glorious DDT is countered into a spinebuster. Back up and another Glorious DDT is countered into a backdrop but the running punch is blocked. Instead it’s a regular DDT to retain the title at 7:37.

Rating: D. This could have been on any house show and that’s not good as the Kickoff Show main event. Roode doesn’t have a ton of challengers and a lot of that is due to how so few people were treated as important for the sake of Jinder Mahal. They need some kind of a feud going here and Rawley isn’t the kind of person to do that.

The opening video doesn’t say much out of the ordinary but it does a very good job of setting up the big matches while treating the Rumble win as a big deal. It’s very nice that they gave the match some shine for once because they haven’t exactly treated it like it matters up to this point.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn

AJ is defending in a handicap match. The challengers do have to tag and it’s Sami starting for the team. No contact and it’s off to Owens, who hangs on the ropes instead of going after the champ. Sami is already back in as there’s almost no contact in the first minute and a half. AJ wrestles Sami down but it’s already back to Owens, who takes AJ down, runs to the floor and tags Sami back in.

That means a drop down into a dropkick for Zayn as Byron and Graves have ANOTHER stupid argument that completely ignores the match. There’s a backdrop for two on AJ as the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for. Owens comes back in and unloads with right hands before sending AJ into the barricade. Almost all challengers so far. Owens gets in a double stomp and brings AJ into the corner for more right hands. An electric chair faceplant is good for two more and it’s off to the chinlock.

AJ fights up again and gets in a shot to Owens’ ankle, which was banged up on Smackdown in the first place. The Pele is enough to bring Sami back in but the Helluva Kick is blocked with a raised boot. Everything breaks down and Owens monkey flips Styles, who hurricanranas Zayn to the floor instead of crashing to the mat. The Calf Crusher has Owens ready to tap until Sami dives back in for the save.

Owens kicks AJ in the back of the head to knock him into the Blue Thunder Bomb, which of course only gets two (once in a lifetime you see). Another kick to the head puts Sami down this time and the springboard 450 is good for another near fall. They slug it out with AJ throwing Sami to the floor, only to eat a superkick from Owens. The Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into a rollup though and AJ retains (pinning the illegal man) at 16:08.

Rating: B. About what was expected here as there’s only so much you can do when the participants have been treated as background characters. I’m glad Bryan and Shane were left out but the match has been booked to make them the stars, meaning this is likely to continue. Some good action here, but it wasn’t the most thrilling match in the world.

Wrestlemania XXXIV ad.

Sami and Kevin ask Shane what he’s going to do. They can’t have another referee screw Owens out of another title. Shane says that yep, he did indeed see that. Nothing else is said.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable

The Usos are defending and this is 2/3 falls after Gable pinned the wrong Uso a few weeks back. In other words, the same ending as the previous match, again showing the limited creative abilities of WWE. Gable can’t hit a German suplex on Jimmy to start so it’s some chops to the chest in the corner. A distraction lets Chad get in a chop block though and Jimmy is in trouble early on.

Benjamin drives knees into the bad knee as the challengers start cutting the ring off for an old NWA feel. Shelton stops to yell at the crowd though and it’s an enziguri to cut him off. The hot tag brings in Jey, who dives through the ropes to take out both challengers in a row. Back in and Gable gets two off a tiger suplex (I haven’t seen that one in years), followed by a powerbomb to send Jey into Jimmy.

Pay Dirt gives Shelton two and the bug eyed look on the kickout is funnier than it should be. It’s back to Gable who moonsaults onto both champions on the floor but Gable can’t pin the illegal Uso. That means a superkick into the Superfly Splash for two in a surprise near fall. The double Superfly Splash is broken up so Gable loads up Rolling Chaos Theory.

That’s broken up as well and four straight superkicks end Gable at 12:21. Gable and Benjamin beat the heck out of both champs to start the second fall. A rolling Liger Kick hits Jey and Chad goes up, leaving Shelton to get small packaged to retain the titles in two straight falls at 13:47.

Rating: B-. That was kind of a surprising ending but it’s not like it really matters. The Bludgeon Brothers (who have kind of disappeared in recent weeks) are pretty clearly the next challengers and it should be a fun match when we get to it. I’m not sure what happens to Benjamin and Gable at this point but they’ve proven to be a good team who deserve more time.

Rumble by the Numbers video.

Jerry Lawler joins commentary for the Rumble.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals this year. Rusev is #1 (with Aiden English singing him to the ring) and Finn Balor (in red here) is in at #2 to a very strong reaction. Balor gets sent to the apron early on but gets back in without too much effort. Rhyno is in at #3 and gets in a showdown with Rusev that doesn’t go much of anywhere. Balor is back up and it’s Baron Corbin in at #4 to quickly eliminate Rhyno.

Finn is right behind Corbin though and gets rid of him as well, sending Corbin into a rage. That means Balor is pulled to the floor for a whip into the barricade (shoulder first) and End of Days on the floor to Rusev. Heath Slater is in at #5 and gets run over on the ramp. Everyone is down and it’s Elias in at #6, playing the guitar (and kicking Slater in the head) on the way to the ring.

It’s time for a song about spitting in the Rocky statue’s face but the countdown clock cuts him off. NXT Champion Andrade Cien Almas is in at #7 (running Slater over again as we have a running joke) and a running elbow puts Elias into the corner. The running knees rock Elias again but the hammerlock DDT is broken up. A hard clothesline drops Almas and it’s Bray Wyatt in at #8.

Naturally Slater gets laid out again and there’s a release Rock Bottom to Elias. Balor comes back in to break up Sister Abigail (again, thank goodness). Big E. is in at #9 and gives Slater some pancakes instead of beating him up. Bray is waiting on him with Cole saying Bray has been so dominating since entering. IT’S BEEN LIKE TWO MINUTES!

Rusev is back in but can’t get rid of Almas. Tye Dillinger is in at #10 (again), giving us Balor, Rusev, Slater (still not in the ring), Elias, Almas, Wyatt, Big E. and Dillinger. Actually hang on a second as we cut to the back to see Dillinger getting beaten down by Owens and Zayn. Sami is taking his place and continues the tradition by jumping Slater.

Sheamus is in at #11 and throws Slater in….who immediately eliminates Sheamus (on his BIRTHDAY). Bray dumps Slater almost immediately and it’s Xavier Woods in at #12. Woods and Big E. double team Sami and a wheelbarrow slam into a splash hits Elias. Rusev can’t get rid of Big E. and it’s Apollo Crews in at #13. Apollo gets in a good looking jumping enziguri on Bray as Byron is now anti-Zayn as he tries to show a personality.

Balor escapes Sister Abigail and it’s Shinsuke Nakamura in at #14. Sami is waiting on him in a Takeover: Dallas flashback as the fans sing Nakamura’s song. There are WAY too many people in there and some eliminations are needed. Nakamura fires off some kicks and it’s Good Vibrations for Elias. The running knee in the corner gets rid of Sami and Cesaro is in at #15, giving us Balor, Rusev, Elias, Almas, Wyatt, Big E., Woods, Crews, Nakamura and Cesaro.

Uppercuts abound without much happening and it’s Kofi Kingston in at #16 to put New Day at full strength. Cesaro cuts him off with an uppercut but Crews gorilla presses Cesaro….to the apron at least but he gets back in. Instead a shot to the back gets rid of Crews to thin the ring out a bit. Jinder Mahal is in at #17 and goes after Woods, who dropkicks him into the corner. Woods is dumped a few seconds later though and Mahal gets rid of Big E. as well.

Seth Rollins is in at #18 (now with flames on his tights) and gets rid of Cesaro in short order. Mahal sends Kofi over the top but he lands on Xavier….and then on a plate of pancakes. Big E. and Woods launch him from the floor over the ropes and over Mahal, who gets caught with Trouble in Paradise for the elimination. As the rest of New Day throws pancakes at Mahal, Almas hits the hammerlock DDT and eliminates Kofi in a pretty big upset.

Matt Hardy is in at #19 for a standoff with Bray, which is broken up by Rusev. Bray and Matt actually start working together and get rid of Rusev (the fans are NOT pleased) before fighting each other. They eliminate each other and it’s John Cena at #20, giving us Balor, Elias, Almas, Nakamura, Rollins and Cena.

Everyone jumps Cena at the same time in a smart move but then let him up, allowing him to AA Elias out. The Hurricane of all people is in at #22 (which Cole calls a superhero persona which was a huge hit with kids years ago) and tries a chokeslam but gets tossed out by Cena. Hurricane lands on the pancakes, nearly slips, and then does his pose over and over again on the way to the back. Aiden English is in at #22 and goes after Rollins before switching to Balor.

Adam Cole (with taped ribs) from NXT is in at #23 to a very nice reaction. Balor kicks English off the ropes for an elimination and it’s Randy Orton in at #24. An RKO drops Almas and there he goes after a strong performance. Things settle down a bit and it’s Titus O’Neil in at #25. Cole gets sent to the apron but slides back in, leaving Titus to chop Nakamura in the corner. Miz is in at #26 and starts fast with the YES Kicks, followed by a Skull Crushing Finale on Cena.

Lucky #27 is the returning Rey Mysterio to get rid of Cole in a hurry. The Miz takes 619 and it’s Roman Reigns in at #28. You can feel the pain from the booing. Reigns goes after Miz and hits the jumping clothesline, followed by the clotheslines in the corner. Titus gets eliminated but the Miztourage saves Miz from the same fate. Rollins Curb Stomps Miz but gets into a showdown with Reigns. A DoubleBomb gets rid of Miz but Reigns turns on Rollins to get rid of him as well.

Goldust is in at #29 and hurts himself headbutting Reigns. Cena gets beaten up as well and it’s Dolph Ziggler (POP) in at #30, giving us a final group of Balor, Nakamura, Cena, Orton, Mysterio, Reigns, Goldust and Ziggler. Goldust is out in a hurry and Balor kicks Ziggler out, making him one of the most inconsequential #30s in recent memory. Rey, Cena and Orton get together in one corner, Nakamura and Balor are in another and Reigns is on his own (how appropriate).

Balor takes a quick AA followed by the 619 to Reigns. There’s an RKO to Nakamura but Cena blocks another attempt. A Superman Punch lets Reigns get rid of Orton and a double 619 hits Reigns and Cena (with Cena loudly talking to Reigns while they wait). Balor throws Mysterio out to get us down to four meaning everyone goes to a corner.

We get the big staredown as the fans are behind Nakamura. Cena throws a You Can’t See Me at Balor and hammers on Nakamura while Reigns beats on Balor. That gives us the big showdown as the fans think they both suck. No one throws a punch as Balor and Nakamura get back up, giving us a much better received showdown. The running knees in the corner put Balor on the apron but he kicks a charging Nakamura in the head. Another kick to the head rocks Balor but he scores with a basement dropkick.

Reigns and Cena are back up again with Cena charging into a Samoa drop. The Superman Punch is countered with a ProtoBomb but the Shuffle is broken up with a Sling Blade. Balor hits the shotgun dropkick on Reigns but Nakamura kicks Balor in the face. Balor’s standing double stomp cuts off Kinshasa and Cena tosses Balor to get us down to three. Reigns slips out of an AA and hits the Superman Punch on Cena. The spear is cut off by the AA and Nakamura puts Cena on the apron.

A running kick to the face gets rid of Cena and we’re down to Nakamura vs. Reigns. That means COME ON and Reigns does so with a Superman Punch. Reigns sends him to the apron but gets kicked in the head but Nakamura grabs a hanging triangle over the apron. A powerbomb brings Nakamura back in and they’re both down again.

It’s Reigns up first but the spear is cut off with a kick to the face. A middle rope knee to the face drops Reigns but Kinshasa is hit with a spear to put them both down again. Nakamura grabs the ropes to hang on and another running knee drops Roman, setting up the elimination to give Nakamura the win at 65:32.

Rating: A. Best Rumble in years, though that’s not exactly saying much. The important thing here was they went with a popular name to win the Rumble, which has been lacking in recent years. Nakamura winning really surprised me as I never thought they would actually do it but I’ll take what I can get.

They laid the match out nicely here as things took a little time to get going but the final ten to fifteen minutes were excellent with the final six all being solid options. I wasn’t dreading this one at all and it made the match that much better. This was a lot of fun and the way the Rumble should go, with one of the best endings in a long time. Great match.

The Smackdown bosses are celebrating in the back when Stephanie McMahon and Kurt Angle come in to say Raw will win later. Daniel and Shane (buddies again) don’t seem to care.

Post match Nakamura is asked who he wants to face at Wrestlemania. Fans: “PLEASE SAY STYLES!” Nakamura: “AJ STYLES!”

There was a Royal Rumble to determine the next Colonel Sanders with Ric Flair winning. He has the wrinkles for it.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Jason Jordan/Seth Rollins

Rollins and Jordan are defending with Seth and Sheamus starting things off. Seth gets driven into the corner with Cesaro offering a distraction to keep Jordan away from interfering. Jordan is ready for the hot tag but Cesaro pulls him down (I thought that was the heel turn) and posts him into near unconsciousness. Back in and Sheamus’ top rope clothesline gets two as the double beatdown is on, made especially worse by Seth’s long Rumble run.

Seth finally sends Sheamus into the post to get it back to even, followed by a Sling Blade and Blockbuster. Sheamus comes back in for the save but Rollins drops both of them for a double frog splash. As Seth gets up, Jordan is STILL sitting on the steps, leaving Sheamus to hit the Brogue Kick. The super White Noise gives us new champions at 13:03. Jordan was never in the match.

Rating: C-. This was an angle instead of a match and there’s nothing wrong with that. For some reason we seem to be waiting on Jordan vs. Rollins at Wrestlemania, even though that doesn’t quite blow my skirt up. The match was stuck in the cool down spot after the great Rumble and that was the right spot for it.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Basically you have three monsters fighting each other and breaking things to hurt each other, meaning it’s time to get violent.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kane vs. Braun Strowman

Brock is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Strowman wastes no time in cleaning house, including a hard knee to Brock’s head. That’s fine with Brock who starts throwing punches, only to have Kane score with a chokeslam. Brock grabs a chair but Braun punches it away and drops everyone.

Shots with the steps clean house and it’s time for a pair of tables. Strowman chokeslams Kane for two with Brock making the save and it’s time for Suplex City. Braun pops up like a daisy and powerslams Brock through a table with Kane making the save this time. Kane is tossed away again (it’s almost like he’s completely unnecessary in this match until the ending) and it’s time for the announcers’ table.

Braun takes too long though and it’s an F5 to drive him through instead. Brock turns the other table over Braun (Corey: “I’m about to throw this German guy in front of me!”) and F5’s Kane through another. Braun gets up again and sends Brock into the steps, followed by the powerslam. Kane makes the save and sends Braun outside, setting up an F5 onto the chair to retain Brock’s title at 10:12.

Rating: B-. Well duh. The world knows that Braun is ready to be World Champion and should have been like six months ago but Vince McMahon and seemingly Vince McMahon alone wants to see Reigns take the title from Brock. Again, as has been the case many, many times: none of this is important because we’re just sitting around waiting on Reigns to take the title like we’ve been waiting for for nearly a year now. After that, I have no idea where they go and I’m not sure WWE does either. This was fun, but exactly as expected.

Trailer for Andre the Giant’s HBO documentary.

We get a video on the women’s Royal Rumble with a focus on the Revolution (and Stephanie of course) with everyone talking about how important this is.

Maria Menunos is guest ring announcer and Stephanie McMahon is guest commentator, with Cole reading off her resume (and saying Stephanie will tell you about her trailblazing). Alexa Bliss and Charlotte come out to watch at ringside.

Women’s Royal Rumble

Sasha Banks (in Wonder Woman gear) is in at #1 and Becky Lynch is in at #2 to give us a good start. Becky blocks an early elimination attempt and we talk about how nervous Stephanie is. The Bank Statement is broken up and it’s a double clothesline as Sarah Logan is in at #3. Logan clotheslines Becky down but Sasha makes a questionable save. Becky gets stomped down in the corner and it’s Mandy Rose in at #4. Mandy can’t get rid of Sasha and it’s LITA in at #5.

Sasha and Becky aren’t sure what to do so they opt with kicking her in the stomach. Mandy jumps Lita from behind and gets placed on the apron, followed by a hard shot for the first elimination. Kairi Sane is in at #6 and chops Lita into the corner as Cole talks about her “yacht persona”. She’s not Ashley Remington (bet you didn’t think I knew that one) because SHE’S A FREAKING PIRATE! Sane kicks Sasha down and drops the Insane Elbow, followed by another to Becky as Tamina is in at #7.

Lita starts hitting the Twists of Fate and hits a double moonsault onto Sasha and Becky (more like her falling backwards instead of any kind of jump but give her a break). That means the YOU STILL GOT IT chant before she eliminates Tamina, only to get dumped by Becky. That’s all this needed to be from Lita and it worked to perfection. Dana Brooke is in at #8 and actually dumps Kairi before stomping on Sasha in the corner.

Torrie Wilson is in at #9 (oh give me a break) and it’s time to prove why she wasn’t a wrestler. Logan dropkicks her down but Torrie pops up and eliminates Dana. Sonya Deville is in at #10, giving us Banks, Lynch, Logan, Wilson and Deville. Sonya starts firing off knees and gets rid of Torrie (thank goodness). Liv Morgan is in at #11 so the Squad can start getting together. No one is tossed though and it’s Molly Holly in at #12.

Molly gets rid of Logan and hits the Molly Go Round on Sasha. Lana is in at #13 and is immediately taken down by Morgan and Deville. She actually gets fired up and slaps her way to freedom as Michelle McCool is in at #14. That means an UNDERTAKER chant as she gets rid of Logan, Morgan and Holly. Sasha and Becky are down on the floor (not eliminated) as Michelle gets rid of Lana as well. With Michelle alone, Becky and Sasha get back in and it’s Ruby Riott at #15, giving us Michelle, Becky, Sasha and Ruby.

Vickie Guerrero is in at #16 and shouts EXCUSE ME over and over but everyone stares her down. She tries to bail and is tossed with ease (I guessed that as a comedy spot and it’s as perfect as I thought it would be). Carmella is in at #17 but Vickie takes the Money in the Bank briefcase to knock her silly. Natalya is in at #18 and throws her gear on Carmella, who pulls Natalya off the apron. That’s enough for Carmella to get in for some superkicks and it’s Kelly Kelly in at #19. Kelly fends off an early elimination as Natalya gets rid of McCool.

Naomi is in at #20, giving us Banks, Lynch, Riott, Carmella, Natalya, Kelly and Naomi at the moment. Becky goes up for some reason and gets dumped by Riott. Jacqueline is in at #21 and goes after Kelly. Nia Jax is in at #22, meaning it’s time to clear the ring. Jacqueline is out first, followed by Kelly with ease. Natalya is sent outside (through the ropes), leaving Nia to press Riott onto the top turnbuckle and then out to the floor. Naomi goes after Nia’s legs but tries a hurricanrana.

Nia knocks her off the apron but the pile catches her, allowing Naomi to land on the barricade. NXT Women’s Champion (with a bad arm) is in at #23 with a springboard kick to Nia’s face. Nia sends her flying as Naomi is walking across the barricade to steal Maria’s chair on wheels. She then crawls across the floor using her hands and the wheels on the chair….only to have Nia catch her coming back in and toss her out. I smiled at the irony. Beth Phoenix is in at #24 and this could be a lot of fun.

Phoenix is a lot closer to Nia’s size than I expected and manages a fireman’s carry but can’t eliminate Nia. Natalya’s help doesn’t work very well as they knock Nia through the ropes. That means a hug and of course Natalya turns on her and gets rid of Beth. Carmella (never eliminated) comes back in to jump Natalya from behind….and it’s Asuka at #25. There’s the hip attack to Carmella and it’s time for the showdown with Ember Moon.

Ember actually hits a one armed Eclipse but Asuka goes after the bad arm and gets rid of her. Sasha (also never eliminated) gets back in and it’s Mickie James in at #26. That goes nowhere and it’s Nikki Bella getting lucky #27 (well duh). That means the JOHN CENA SUCKS song but Carmella takes Nikki into the corner for the Staten Island Shuffle (not the Moon Walk Stephanie). Nikki powers her up though and a neck snap across the top rope gets rid of Carmella.

Brie Bella is in at #28 to save her sister from a big beatdown. The Bellas get their big moment (their latest one for those of you who have lost track) and knock Nia off the apron. A double suplex puts Natalya down and it’s Bayley in at #29. Asuka kicks Bayley in the head in short order but can’t get rid of her. It’s Trish Stratus in at #30 (not exactly shocking and that’s not a bad thing) to give us a final group of Sasha, Natalya, Nia, Asuka, Mickie, Nikki, Brie, Bayley and Trish.

Stratus gets to clean house and hits a double Stratusfaction before getting into a showdown with Mickie. James misses a charge and gets tossed, meaning it’s time for everyone to go after Nia. She shrugs them all off but the Bellas choke her on the ropes, allowing everyone else to join in and get rid of Nia. Sasha of course turns on Bayley for the elimination and we’re down to six.

Natalya puts Trish in the Sharpshooter for some reason and is broken up just as quickly. The Chick Kick eliminates Natalya but Trish mocks Sasha’s Boss pose, meaning the Stratusfaction is broken up to get rid of Stratus. Sasha turns around to meet Asuka but they decide to get rid of the Bellas….for all of three seconds until Sasha decks Asuka from behind. Sasha calls the Bellas off so she can beat on Asuka in the corner but the Twins dump her out as she tries the double knees.

So we’re down to the Bellas and Asuka and it’s time for the YES Kicks to both Twins (there’s a joke there that I’m not touching). Brie gets sent to the apron but Nikki decks Asuka, followed by the Rack Attack 2.0. Nikki decks Brie to get rid of her though and it’s down to two. Asuka is on the apron and hits a missile dropkick but Nikki’s spinning middle rope kick catches her in the face. Nikki puts her on the apron for the big forearm….which doesn’t end it. Instead Asuka grabs a headscissors to put Nikki on the apron but Asuka kicks kicks her in the leg for the elimination to win at 58:47.

Rating: B. I know a lot of people are going to be annoyed about the amount of legends (and the amount of botches) in there but my goodness what else were you expecting? The women’s division is about twenty people deep and I’d rather have people like McCool, Lita and Trish in there to give us either a good performance or appearances from people who are legitimate trailblazers (not McCool obviously but she did quite well). I was surprised by the lack of NXT names but what we got was fine, save for the Iconic Duo still not appearing.

The match itself was fine, albeit a bit predictable. You knew Asuka was the heavy favorite and really, it’s not like there were many other solid options. Aside from Jax, who really else was there? Banks or Lynch? Well maybe, but Asuka getting the title needs to be a big deal and one of those two can take the other title. Either way…..uh, back in a minute.

The champions get in the ring……AND BAD REPUTATION HITS AS RONDA ROUSEY IS HERE!!! Rousey, in a Roddy Piper shirt, points at the Wrestlemania sign and offers Asuka a handshake but Asuka slaps it away. Ronda also shakes Stephanie’s hand and high fives fans to end the show.

Oh and Stephanie’s commentary was annoying but acceptable. She didn’t need to be there and added nothing at all but she could have been worse. Sounded very much like a fan who wasn’t the most polished but it was fine.

Overall Rating: A-. I loved the heck out of this show as they made the Rumbles FUN. That’s been sorely, sorely lacking in recent years and they made up for it tonight. The Rumbles are interesting by definition but above all else, these matches were a good time as I kept waiting to see who was coming out next. I was actually worried about Reigns and Nikki winning so well done on some false drama. This did everything it needed to do, including setting up a major Wrestlemania match. I had a great time with this show and that’s what the Rumble is supposed to be. Well done all around and a great show.

Results

AJ Styles b. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens – Rollup to Owens

Usos b. Chad Gable/Jason Jordan – Small package to Benjamin

Shinsuke Nakamura won the Royal Rumble last eliminating Roman Reigns

The Bar b. Seth Rollins/Jason Jordan – Super White Noise to Rollins

Brock Lesnar b. Kane and Braun Strowman – F5 to Kane

Asuka won the Royal Rumble last eliminating Nikki Bella

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Smackdown
Date: January 21, 2022
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

We have less than two weeks to go before the Royal Rumble and that means it is time to finalize everything else for the show. That can take some effort and hopefully we will be seeing some of it tonight. Odds are a lot of the focus is going to be on Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s showdown between Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns, with Rollins having to bail from the Usos.

Here are the Usos to get things going. They are here to acknowledge Roman Reigns, who is now the longest reigning Universal Champion in history. This brings out Reigns, who takes his time getting to the ring. Reigns holds out his hand for Jimmy, who puts the microphone in his hand. After telling Nashville to acknowledge him, we get a highlight package on Reigns’ title reign, including his major title defenses and a count of his days as champion.

Before Reigns can say anything, here is Seth Rollins to interrupt (McAfee: “You son of a b****.”). Rollins says that was a nice video, but now it’s time to end the show. Reigns had to send his cousins to Raw to attack him but all Reigns had to do was give him a call because he has Rollins’ number. Instead, we need to celebrate the Usos, because they hold up Reigns’ title, “just like me and Mox did in the Shield.” Reigns: “Did John Cena write that promo for you?”

Reigns says their match will be one on one, but Rollins wants to beat the Usos tonight to guarantee that they will be gone. Jey points out that Rollins doesn’t have a partner because no one likes him….but here is Kevin Owens to take the spot. Reigns wants to raise the stakes: if Rollins and Owens lose, the Rumble title match is off and Reigns is going on vacation until Wrestlemania. Rollins says he’s on.

Here are Madcap Moss and Happy Corbin to brag about their recent success, along with saying Kofi Kingston has no friends.

Madcap Moss vs. Kofi Kingston

Happy Corbin is here too….so Kofi brings out Big E. to even things up. Moss shoulders Kingston down to start but he comes back with a middle rope spinning dropkick. Kingston gets sent outside, where he jumps off the steps to take Moss down again. Big E. takes out Corbin and we go to a break. Back with Moss hitting a spinebuster but missing a charge into the corner. A top rope hurricanrana gives Kingston two as Big E. continues to look on stoically. Moss plants him again for two more but it’s Trouble in Paradise to give Kofi the pin at 7:42.

Rating: C. I can support anything that involves Moss getting kicked in the face and at least his roll slows down a bit. Moss is someone that WWE seems to want to push at least a little bit, but he isn’t someone who needs to be dominating every match. Kingston slowing him down a big is a good thing, though I could go for less Moss and Corbin in general.

Post match Corbin, who is holding his arm, gets up to stare at Big E., who gives Moss the Big Ending.

Aliyah vs. Natalya

Rematch from last week where Aliyah won in three seconds. Summer Rae, billed as a legend and now with red hair, is watching from the front row. Aliyah rolls her up for two to start but gets suplexed for her efforts. Back up and Aliyah is sent to the apron, where she comes back with a forearm. Natalya blasts her with the discus lariat for two, followed by the over the shoulder backbreaker. With that broken up, Natalya stomps away in the corner until it’s a DQ at 2:10.

Post match the beating stays on until Xia Li remembers that she still works here and comes out for the save.

Commentary hypes up Wrestlemania, with McAfee listing off about two dozen ways to describe how great it is, even busting out a dictionary.

Los Lotharios vs. Viking Raiders

Erik slams Humberto to start and then slams Ivar onto him to make it worse. Angel comes in off a blind tag though and it’s Erik getting jumped from behind. That means Angel can TAKE OFF HIS PANTS and ti’s a double basement dropkick. The standing moonsault misses though and the hot tag brings in Ivar to clean house. Everything breaks down and Erik hits a powerbomb/World’s Strongest Slam at the same time. The Viking Experience finishes Humberto at 2:23.

We recap Naomi threatening Sonya Deville last week, causing Adam Pearce to give Naomi another Championship Contender’s match this week.

Naomi vs. Charlotte

Non-title but a Champion’s Contender’s match, which Cole describes as an opportunity at an opportunity. Hold on though because here is Sonya Deville to be referee. Charlotte uses the distraction to forearm Naomi into the corner so the stomping can ensue. The Figure Four necklock has Naomi in trouble but she fights up for a springboard kick to the face. Charlotte is fine enough to grab a Boston crab, which doesn’t go very far.

Instead Charlotte tries the Figure Four but gets kicked off into Sonya. The Rear View connects but Sonya stays on the floor instead counting. Charlotte goes after the leg and puts on the Figure Four, drawing the bell for the submission at 2:24, before she even completes the hold. McAfee: “What in the Bret Hart is going on?” I’d call it a story that has long since been made clear but we’re still hammering it in because WWE has a problem with getting to the point.

Seth Rollins and Kevin Owens are ready for the main event, with Owens saying it’s time to take out the Usos so they can’t screw Rollins over again. Rollins says the risk is worth the reward, because he beats Reigns every time.

Here is Sami Zayn for the latest episode of In-Zayn, which will be looking at self defense. Johnny Knoxville once got famous by looking at a bunch of these weapons, and that is what Sami is going to do again here. We’ll start with a stun gun designed to stop large animals, including a rhinoceros. Sami shoots himself in the leg but doesn’t go off his feet. We’ll crank it up to level two, with this one going into his heart.

That one takes him off his feet, but here is Johnny Knoxville to interrupt. He doesn’t think much of Sami mocking his career, and points out that Sami didn’t turn the stun gun on. Knoxville fixes that for him and shocks Zayn down, complete with Mountie shock stick sound effects. Sami can’t stand up so Knoxville tosses him over the top.

Eric Bischoff is in Adam Pearce’s office when Sonya Deville comes in. Pearce isn’t happy with what she has been doing, so he is going to recommend she face Naomi next week, one on one.

Video on the new WWE 2K game.

Sheamus vs. Ricochet

Ridge Holland is back and in Sheamus’ corner. Sheamus knees him down to start and grabs a chinlock, with Ricochet jawbreaking his way to freedom. The forearms to the chest put Ricochet down again, as Cole says the only title Sheamus has won everything but the Intercontinental Title. Or the 24/7 Title. Or the Universal Title. Ricochet knocks him to the floor but his suicide dive is kneed out of the air. Back in and the Brogue Kick finishes Ricochet at 3:18.

Rating: C-. Remember last week when these two had a nice match that got some time? This was almost nothing like that as Ricochet got squashed while getting in very little offense. Sheamus winning a midcard match is fine, but I’m really not sure why they needed to run this back when Sheamus beat him soundly enough last week.

Rick Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura run into Jeff Jarrett, with Boogs knocking how to spell his name. Jeff likes Boogs’ guitar playing but asks if Boogs can spell his name. Boogs looks to have cut his hair and looks quite a bit like Robert/Rick Rude.

Usos vs. Kevin Owens/Seth Rollins

Non-title but if the Rollins/Owens win, the Usos are barred from the Royal Rumble title match. If the Usos won, the title match is off. Rollins rolls Jimmy up for two to start and Jimmy bails to the floor, where he complains of a pull of his tights. Back in and the Usos stomp Rollins down in the corner. Rollins fights up and it’s Jimmy being taken into the other corner for some alternating stomps of his own. A Jey distraction lets Jimmy crotch Rollins though and the stomping in the corner is on again.

That one doesn’t last long either as Rollins is back up with the tag to Owens so house can be cleaned. The Cannonball looks to set up the Swanton but Jey gets the knees up. Owens is sent outside and into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Owens still in trouble but managing an enziguri for a breather. The tag brings in Rollins to clean house, including a suicide dive onto both Usos.

The springboard knee to the face gets two on Jey so Rollins loads up the Buckle Bomb. That’s broken up though and the Alley Us gives Jimmy two. Everything breaks down and Owens gets caught on top, only to hit the spinning fisherman’s superplex for two. It’s back to Rollins to strike away on both Usos until a superkick takes him down. The Stunner hits Jey and Rollins superkicks Jimmy. A forearm to the back of the head hits Jimmy and the Stomp connects but here is Roman Reigns to lay Rollins out for the DQ at 15:03.

Rating: B. I’m guessing the idea is that Reigns is so confident that he can beat Rollins on his own that he doesn’t care if the Usos are there or not, but it doesn’t exactly make him look smart. It can be made better if they explain that next week, though commentary saying something about it this week might have helped a bit. It also doesn’t help that this felt like a last second way out of the Usos losing because time was up. I’ll take the lack of a pin, but explain your story a bit better than that.

Reigns storms off and Rollins smiles to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event was good but this felt like a good bit of placeholder matches which didn’t really do much for the Royal Rumble. Ricochet and Naomi lose again and we continue the epic Natalya vs. Aliyah feud. The important part of the Royal Rumble is set, though it would have been nice to build up some other participants instead of focusing on stuff like Moss and Sonya Deville. Pretty much a throwaway show here and not their best effort.

Results
Kofi Kingston b. Madcap Moss – Trouble in Paradise
Aliyah b. Natalya via DQ when Natalya attacked her in the corner
Viking Raiders b. Los Lotharios – Viking Raiders to Humberto
Charlotte b. Naomi – Figure Four
Sheamus b. Ricochet – Brogue Kick
Seth Rollins/Kevin Owens b. Usos via DQ when Roman Reigns interfered

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: January 14, 2022
Location: CHI Health Center, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We are just over two weeks away from the royal Rumble and the big match on this side is Roman Reigns defending the Universal Title against Raw’s Seth Rollins. That is likely going to mean Brock Lesnar will be getting involved and I’m curious to see where that is going to go. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar arguing over Paul Heyman, leading to Reigns dropping Lesnar with a Superman Punch. Then Seth Rollins was announced as the opponent in a bit of a weird pick.

Here are the Usos for a chat. They talk about how the only team to ever give them a real fight is the New Day, but they beat them again last week. Instead of helping Roman Reigns against Seth Rollins, we need to have a four way to consider the #1 contendership. Jimmy even handles the entrances, with a special/not so serious voice.

Los Lotharios vs. Viking Raiders vs. Cesaro/Mansoor vs. Jinder Mahal/Shanky

One fall to a finish and the Usos throw in some brief instructions, including remember that they’re the ones. The Usos fire off some superkicks but get sent to the floor so the brawl can be on. We take a break before the bell and come back joined in progress with Humberto diving into an atomic drop from Mansoor.

Cesaro comes in but Erik tags himself in to kick away at Shanky. Mansoor and Cesaro head outside for some reason but come back up to see Jinder beating on Erik in the corner. Erik fights over and brings in Ivar, who is driven into Shanky’s face in the corner. Ivar gets caught on top though and Cesaro/Mahal (weird combination) load up a double superplex. That takes too long though and Erik makes it a Tower of Doom as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro getting the hot tag to clean house, including hammering away on Humberto. Ivar tags himself back in so Cesaro takes him down for the start of a swing. Mahal breaks that up with a Khallas and it’s time for the parade of people hitting each other. Erik gets double superkicked and Los Lotharios dive onto Cesaro and Mansoor. Back in and Ivar cleans house, setting up the Viking Experience to finish Angel at 9:31.

Rating: C+. They kept this one fast enough and had everyone getting in there as fast as they could. The Raiders are the only team on Smackdown that feels like they could be a threat to the Usos so this was the best way they could have gone. If nothing else, it is almost interesting to see who they randomly throw Cesaro with on a given week, as the nothing teams just keep coming.

Post match the Usos get on the announcers’ table and shout at the Raiders, who can’t raid Samoa.

Naomi comes in to see Sonya Deville and wants to know why Deville is holding her back. Deville says when the jacket is on, she is Naomi’s boss and she doesn’t like Naomi’s attitude. Now Naomi needs to get out of here before she loses her Royal Rumble match. This is every interaction these two have had for months now. Naomi leaves so Adam Pearce comes in to talk about how cold Sonya has the temperature in here. Oh I have a bad feeling about where this is going.

We look at some of the history between Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns, mainly looking at the original Shield run.

Here is Sami Zayn to talk about how the conspiracy against him is finally going to end, but now there is a new cast member in the conspiracy: Johnny Knoxville. We see Knoxville throwing him over the top last week, with Sami saying he is going to show the world that no one can is better at being a jackass than him. After realizing that might not be the best wording, it’s time for the debut of his own stunt show: InZayn!

There is a wooden ramp set up but Sami runs to the back, only to come out in a shopping cart with two guys pushing him. He is going to use that ramp to jump the ring….but it does look kind of far. It’s so far that he changes his mind at the last second. Zayn gets in the ring but here is Rick Boogs for a distraction. Shinsuke Nakamura comes in for Kinshasa and Boogs gorilla pressed Zayn over the top and onto the crash pad.

Aliyah is ready for her singles debut and hopes she doesn’t embarrass herself. Natalya comes in to say there is no shame in embarrassing yourself against her because she has three Guinness World Records. Natalya even has the book, which Aliyah didn’t know was still a thing. The glare sends Aliyah to the ring.

Aliyah vs. Natalya

After Aliyah makes her entrance, Natalya is still in the back to talk about her records: most matches by a woman in WWE history, most pay per view matches in WWE history and most wins by a woman in WWE history. Tonight, she is going to set the record for fastest win in WWE history, breaking the mark of 3.8 seconds. Natalya stomps her down in the corner and unloads before the bell. The referee says she can’t do this but Aliyah says she can….but there is no match anyway. Actually scratch that as the bell rings and Aliyah rolls her up for the pin at 3 seconds. Why yes, that is a new WWE record for a fastest pin at 3.1 seconds.

Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville think it is getting hot in their office but the thermostat seems to be broken.

More Reigns vs. Rollins history, this time looking at Rollins turning on the Shield.

Michael Cole brings out Lita (looking rather orange) for the first time on Smackdown in nearly 20 years. Lita is glad to be home and is proud of her career. She never got to be in the Royal Rumble in her day though and now she is going to win the match and headline Wrestlemania. Cue Charlotte to interrupt, saying she will handle this interview. Charlotte says this run that Lita is on will be over, with the Wrestlemania dreams being over.

Lita has heard about Charlotte and doesn’t get the flashback Friday Tonya Harding thing. She doesn’t get how Charlotte doesn’t tip over with that giant head. The fans chant GIANT HEAD but Charlotte says she can’t hear it. Charlotte talks about beating Trish Stratus at Summerslam 2019, sending her back into retirement. Maybe Charlotte can do that to Lita too, which causes things to get physical. Lita leaves her laying with a Twist of Fate.

We look at Ricochet breaking Ridge Holland’s nose at Day One.

Sheamus is ready to get some revenge for Holland’s sake.

Ricochet vs. Sheamus

Ricochet headlock takeovers him to start but Sheamus fights up and hits a hard shoulder. Back up and Ricochet knocks him to the floor with a running shoulder of his own. Sheamus heads around the ring and sweeps the leg to drop Ricochet onto the apron. A catapult sends Ricochet face first into the bottom of the ring as we take a break.

Back with Ricochet fighting up from a double arm crank and striking away. The Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus is sent to the apron, where Ricochet gets him tied up in the ropes. A springboard moonsault hits Sheamus’ back for two but the shooting star misses. Sheamus hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and gets rather annoyed. The ten forearms to the chest rock Ricochet so Sheamus goes up, only to get sent face first into the post. A springboard sunset bomb gives Ricochet two and a regular sunset flip gets the same. Then the Brogue Kick knocks Ricochet silly for the pin at 9:57.

Rating: C+. This was getting good near the end and then finished pretty fast. I tried not to convince myself to believe that Ricochet had a chance but he managed to make it work again. He’s so easy to turn into an underdog but for some reason he is never allowed to win anything and it gets a little tiring.

We look back at Aliyah’s record setting win, which is an official record.

Sonya Deville and Adam Pearce are still complaining about the heat so Pearce goes to see maintenance. Sonya takes the jacket off so here’s Naomi to say it’s time for a fight. Pearce comes back in to say not so fast and Sonya puts the jacket back on. To calm things down, Pearce makes Naomi vs. Charlotte again for next week.

We look at Seth Rollins cashing in Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania XXXI.

Kofi Kingston vs. Madcap Moss

Before the match, Kingston reads a proclamation that King Woods is injured and out of the Royal Rumble, but Kingston will be taking his place. Cue Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss to say Corbin will be in the Rumble, which makes them as happy as they have been since they injured Drew McIntyre. We see a clip of the attack on McIntyre, before Moss makes a joke about Kingston being scared of him. Kofi laughs so hysterically that he falls to the mat before knocking Moss to the floor. The big dive connects on Corbin and Moss as we take an early break.

Back with Kingston fighting out of a chinlock but getting planted with a powerslam. Kofi fires off some clotheslines and kicks Moss in the face in the corner. Moss rolls through a high crossbody though, only to have Kofi load up the SOS. That’s countered with a rake to the face though and the Punchline finishes Kingston at 5:40. Not enough shown to rate but this was a short way to build Moss up, because the world needs more Moss.

Here are Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns for their face to face showdown. Reigns tells Omaha to acknowledge him but Rollins throws out the Shield fist. Reigns says that’s beneath him but Rollins brings up that Reigns has never beaten him in a title match. That makes Reigns laugh because while Rollins is still in the past, he is the best ever. Rollins says he was climbing the ladder while Reigns was on the bench in the Canadian Football League. Then Rollins turned on him in the Shield and Reigns STILL needed help getting to the top.

Rollins created him and he can destroy him, but Reigns says if he wanted to face a star, Rollins wouldn’t even be his pick out of his house. He would have faced Rollins’ wife, so here are the Usos to chase Rollins off. Rollins says he’ll destroy Reigns to end the show. There were some good lines here but I don’t think we need much to hype up a Rollins vs. Reigns title match.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling most of this one as it didn’t exactly seem like much happened. The Lita appearance was nice and they added a few people to the Rumble, but other than that it was kind of a show that came and went. Naomi vs. Sonya continues to just kind of sit there, and I’m almost scared to imagine them dragging that all the way to Wrestlemania. The good thing is they have most of the important stuff set for the pay per view, but another match or two might be a good idea. Not their best show here, as it felt like a bit of an off week.

Results
Viking Raiders b. Los Lotharios, Cesaro/Mansoor and Jinder Mahal/Shanky – Viking Experience to Humberto
Aliyah b. Natalya – Rollup
Sheamus b. Ricochet – Brogue Kick
Madcap Moss b. Kofi Kingston – Punchline

 

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: December 10, 2021
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We’re on the way to Day One and that means some more of the show needs to be put together. The main event of Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns for the Universal Title is now set, but we are missing a Jeff Hardy, who was released earlier this week. That could shake things up a bit so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Blackjack Lanza.

Here is Sami Zayn, in a wheelchair/leg cast/neck brace, with two male nurses pushing him to the ring. After a video on last week’s big beatdown at the hands of Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar, Sami says he is the toughest man in WWE. Sami talks about how this isn’t necessarily a conspiracy, but he was betrayed last week….and now he has to sue. He promises to sue everyone involved with last week but here is Paul Heyman to interrupt. Heyman: “You’re doing my people’s shtick. My people own entertainment in Hollywood.”

Sami tells him to get out of his camera shot but Heyman shushes him. Heyman keeps going with his usual speech but Sami stands up because he knows Reigns isn’t here tonight. Violence is threatened against Heyman…..and here is Brock Lesnar, meaning it’s time to panic. Lesnar grabs a chair and Heyman is already looking a little nervous. Lesnar sits down in the chair and looks at Zayn, who thinks this is a bit far.

They got off on the wrong foot, with Zayn saying his pain is a ten. Lesnar says he did Sami a favor last week because he was never going to beat Roman Reigns one on one. All he was doing was hurting Zayn so that Reigns’ win wouldn’t really count! Lesnar confirms that Sami is from Montreal and we get a bit of French, which is Lesnar trying to lighten the mood.

Lesnar invites him to Saskatchewan to go hunting or fishing, but Zayn says he’s vegan. That brings Lesnar to his feet and he wheels Zayn towards the ropes. Heyman: “WHAT THE H*** AM I LOOKING AT HERE???” Heyman thinks he spent too much time at the dispensary and the edibles are kicking in (McAfee: “PREACH!”).

Three years ago, this would have been a trip to Suplex City, but instead he’s watching the once and likely future Universal Champion….who beats up the nurses as Heyman bails. Heyman looks pleased as Lesnar throws the wheelchair out of the ring and gives Zayn an F5 (McAfee: “WE NEED ANOTHER NECK BRACE!”). This was a long opening segment to bring the Beast back out, but it makes Lesnar’s laid back attitude a bit more odd as he just shrugged it off and mauled Zayn again.

Post break, Lesnar is asked what that was about. He says to ask his advocate, Paul Heyman.

Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs vs. Los Lotharios

Boogs Pounces Humberto to start but a cheap shot from Angel….doesn’t do much as Boogs brings him inside as well. There’s a gorilla press toss to send Angel outside but the distraction lets Humberto get in some shots from behind. That doesn’t last long either as Nakamura comes in and hits Kinshasa for the pin at 1:25.

A bunch of wrestlers are gathered around for the unveiling of King Woods’ new crown. Said crown is rather large, but Woods is ready to beat up RKBro and the Usos tonight.

We look back at Drew McIntyre being annoyed that he wasn’t in the #1 contenders battle royal.

Last week, Sonya Deville told Drew McIntyre that Adam Pearce made the list.

This week, Adam Pearce tells Drew McIntyre that Sonya Deville made the list, on orders from a higher authority. Said higher authority also says Drew can’t bring his sword to the ring, so Drew puts the sword into the desk.

Sasha Banks comes up to Toni Storm in the back and tells Storm she has this tonight against Charlotte. Banks praises Storm’s training around the world and tells her not to lose her cool until Charlotte loses hers. Then it’s Toni Time. This was one of those segments depicting two women talking in ways that no humans would never actually talk.

Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre

McIntyre slugs away to start and the brawl is on, with an exchange of hard forearms to the chest. They head outside with McIntyre snapping off an overhead belly to belly as we take a break. Back with Sheamus hitting the Irish Curse for two but McIntyre is back up in a hurry. The Claymore is cut off by a running knee for two and they slow down a bit. They trade headbutts until McIntyre blasts him with the Claymore for the pin at 7:34.

Rating: C+. There is something to be said about having two big power guys hit each other in the face really hard. That’s what we got here, and it’s certainly better than watching McIntyre do the goofy stuff with Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss. This feud might have been more than a few times now, but it still works well in a spot like this one.

In the back, we see Madcap Moss and Happy Corbin stealing Adam Pearce’s desk, still containing the sword.

Video tribute to Blackjack Lanza.

Paul Heyman is leaving when Kayla Braxton interrupts him. Heyman asks her to stop doing that, so Braxton asks about Lesnar calling Heyman his advocate. Heyman asks her to stop doing that too, so Braxton brings up what Roman Reigns will think about the comments. Reality sets in for Heyman in a hurry, as he knows he screwed up.

We recap Naomi vs. Sonya Deville, as Sonya is the latest evil boss.

Sonya Deville vs. Naomi

Naomi tells Sonya to get out here, so here is Sonya, albeit with a few announcements. Natalya is the guest ring announcer and Shayna Baszler is the guest timekeeper. Naomi bails outside to go after both of them to start so Sonya bails before the opening bell. All three get on the apron, so here’s the debuting Xia Li to even things up a bit (complete with blue electric lights coming off of her during the entrance). Naomi and Xia clear the ring but Sonya is pulled out before Naomi can hit the split legged moonsault. No match.

Riddle wants Randy Orton to meet his friends….the cast of Jackass Forever. Riddle is a big fan but Orton has nothing to say.

Charlotte vs. Toni Storm

Non-title but a Champions Contender match. Charlotte punches her down to start so Toni is right back with a basement dropkick. There’s the running hip attack in the corner and a crossbody gives Storm two. Not to be outdone, Charlotte kicks her in the face and Storm is down for a bit. Charlotte goes up for the double moonsault but a bit of mistiming leaves Charlotte trying to cover Storm when she is on her face. The Figure Eight is countered into a small package to give Storm two, followed by a German suplex for the same. Charlotte posts her and takes it to the apron, where Storm is stomped against the post for the DQ at 3:20.

Rating: C-. So yeah, after getting her comeuppance in the form of a pie in the face, Charlotte is right back by beating Storm so much that the referee had to call the match. But hey, at least Storm gets another match where she is probably going to get this close to winning before coming short again. That way we can get back to the important stuff, like Charlotte vs. Banks. Such is WWE, and I can’t even get annoyed anymore.

Post match, Charlotte lays her out AGAIN.

Brock Lesnar comes in to see Adam Pearce, who looks terrified. Lesnar thanks him for the suspension, because he got to score a giant moose when he was out hunting. Lesnar pulls out his flip phone to show Pearce said moose but can’t get it to work. Instead he talks about hanging the moose up on the wall in his cabin and wanted a way to remember things. That’s why he named the moose Pearce.

Usos vs. New Day vs. RKBro

Non-title. New Day double teams Riddle to start and Woods drops a fist for two as the Usos are cool with hanging out on the apron. The Usos come in to clear the ring in a hurry though and we take a break. Back with Woods forearming Jey down to start, allowing Kofi to come in with a high crossbody for two. Riddle tags himself in for the release gutwrench suplex for his own two on Jey.

Jimmy makes a blind tag though and now it’s Riddle getting double teamed. Orton breaks that up in a hurry but Jey cuts Riddle off in a hurry. The chinlock goes on but Jey spends too much time posing, allowing Riddle to avoid a corner splash. The tag is loaded up….but Jimmy pulls Orton off the apron. New Day has to make a save of their own and we take a break.

Back with Kofi cutting off a tag attempt so Riddle stays in trouble. Woods grabs a suplex for two and the chinlock goes on again. The fans want Orton but get Woods elbowing Riddle in the back of the head instead. Riddle strikes away at New Day and that’s enough for the hot tag to Orton. House is cleaned in a hurry, including the hanging DDT to Jey. The RKO is broken up but Jey can’t hit the Superfly Splash. Woods tags himself in as Orton hits the RKO on Jimmy. Jey superkicks Orton but gets superkicked by Woods, setting up Daybreak for the pin at 18:54.

Rating: B-. That was the least surprising ending I can remember in a very long time, as it would be the most WWE ending possible. Sure New Day doesn’t have a title of their own, but they get to be the best team in the world. That’s one of the many reasons why WWE is in the state that it is in today, and the fact that you could guess the ending as soon as the match was announced makes it even worse.

Overall Rating: C+. Pretty good show this week, though there were more than a few moments where I rolled my eyes at some of the dumber things they were doing (New Day winning, Charlotte leaving Storm laying). Lesnar smashing Zayn was good and Heyman was great as always though and Xia Li’s debut worked. There were enough positives this week, but there were also enough moments that left me skeptical about the future, as tends to be the case in WWE.

Results
Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs b. Los Lotharios – Kinshasa to Humberto
Drew McIntyre b. Sheamus – Claymore
Toni Storm b. Charlotte via DQ when Charlotte would not stop attacking Storm in the ropes
New Day b. Usos and RKBro – Daybreak to Jey

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: December 3, 2021
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

In something you probably don’t remember hearing around here, it’s the Brock Lesnar Show as he is back after his suspension last month. Odds are this is going to set something up for either Day 1 or the Rumble and that opens up a few questions. I’m curious to see where this is going so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Sami Zayn becoming #1 contender last week but Brock Lesnar’s return was announced for the show immediately thereafter.

Here is Brock Lesnar to get things going. Lesnar says he is here for the Universal Title but cue Sami Zayn to interrupt. Sami talks about how he’s a fan of Lesnar and is cut off almost immediately. Lesnar: “I’m sorry, you’re a fan?” Lesnar talks about living in Saskatchewan, where he hunts, kills and eats things. Now why hasn’t he ripped Sami’s head off yet? Sami explains the battle royal win….and Lesnar starts laughing.

Sami says it might be funny and Lesnar wants to see the title match tonight. Lesnar: “Sami right? Tonight! Sami Zayn vs. Roman Reigns!” Sami says he didn’t want to do it in Texas and he has a bad hip but Brock doesn’t want to hear this. Brock backs the babbling Sami up against the ropes and twists his arm until Sami agrees to the match. Lesnar will be there too! Crazy scary Lesnar who isn’t worried about anyone is great.

Post break, Sami is with Sonya Deville and tries to talk his way out of the Roman Reigns match. Brock comes up and Sami changes his tune, with Sonya making the match. Lesnar even gets to face the winner at Day 1!

Video on Shayna Baszler, including the stomp to mess up Nia Jax’s arm. After the video, McAfee refers to this as the Future Endeavors Kick.

Sasha Banks vs. Shayna Baszler

Baszler is sent outside to start, where she counters a baseball slide into an ankle lock. Banks breaks that up and hits the Meteora off the apron for two as we take a break. Back with Baszler hitting a running knee in the corner, setting up a gutwrench suplex for two. Banks fights up and hits a springboard tornado DDT for two of her own. Baszler pulls her down into the Kirifuda Clutch but Banks flips out and grabs the Bank Statement. That’s broken up as well so Baszler hits a running knee, only to get caught in a hurricanrana for the pin at 8:49.

Rating: C. You knew it was happening as soon as the Baszler video aired. I’m not sure what the point of this one was other than getting Sasha a win, though there is no reason to get annoyed at WWE for having Baszler lose again. Baszler has long since reached the point of “it’s not going to happen” so this is about all you could have expected.

Adam Pearce calls Sonya Deville and says he isn’t going to show up because it would be better if he just remembers the Alamo. Deville: “Oh come on.” Drew McIntyre comes in and doesn’t like that it was Adam Pearce’s decision for him to not be in the battle royal last week.

It’s time for Happy Talk, with Happy Corbin in shorts to show off his rather tattooed legs. Corbin and Madcap Moss talk about last week’s battle royal, including Moss eliminating a bunch of people until Corbin tossed him out as well. Jeff Hardy did some stupid things and Drew McIntyre didn’t even get in the match. Cue McIntyre, with Angela the sword, allowing Hardy to jump Corbin from behind. Hardy and McIntyre steal their hats.

Xia Li debuts next week so we get another comic book video. This one talks about her walking through a quiet street until she has to beat up some muggers.

Viking Raiders vs. Los Lotharios

Erik plants Angel in a hurry and them knocks Humberto off the apron. Ivar gets knocked off the apron though and it’s a Muta Lock to Erick….and we pause for a good while until Rick Boogs can show up on the announcers’ table. This time though, Humberto is fine enough to roll Erik up for the pin at 1:41 anyway. Ok points for a surprise twist.

Post match the Vikings are mad at Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura but the power of rock calms things down.

We look at Toni Storm getting pied into fear by Charlotte last week.

Storm says she wants a title shot and doesn’t care how much Charlotte embarrasses her. All she wants is the title.

Jey Uso vs. King Woods

Before the match, the Usos call out Sami Zayn and Brock Lesnar for wanting to face Roman Reigns at Day 1. Woods cuts them off and brings out the returning Kofi Kingston to have his back. Jey hammers him in the corner to start but misses a running hip attack. Back up and Woods kicks him in the face but Jimmy interferes for the DQ at 2:02.

Post match Kofi helps Woods clear the ring.

Roman Reigns isn’t happy with everything happening tonight without his knowledge. Paul Heyman insists he didn’t know any of this would be happening, but Reigns promises to smash Sami Zayn and Brock Lesnar.

The New Day, with Aliyah for a bit for her latest random cameo, is ready to win the Tag Team Titles from the Usos at Day 1.

Here is Charlotte to respond to Toni Storm’s challenges. The point is that #1 doesn’t acknowledge #2, but she’ll get to the point: no. Charlotte leaves and Storm is waiting on her with a pie.

Video on Ricochet.

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Sheamus sends him straight to the apron for the ten forearms to the chest and an early near fall. The double fish hook stretches Cesaro’s face but he fights up and knocks Sheamus over the barricade. Back in and Sheamus drives some knees to the head while shouting about how much better Ridge Holland is than Cesaro. That starts a comeback….and it’s cut off by the Brogue Kick to give Sheamus the pin at 3:47.

Rating: C. Can they please just release Cesaro already? They aren’t going to push him, they aren’t going to give him anything to do and they don’t see much in him. If they’re that sure he isn’t a star, why keep him on the payroll? I know the answer to most of these questions is AEW, but egads it’s frustrating to watch something like this after his token pay per view main event earlier this year.

Naomi challenges Sonya Deville again and Sonya accepts. The catch is Naomi can’t touch her until they’re in the ring, so Sonya hits her in the face and doesn’t give her a date for the match.

Universal Title: Roman Reigns vs. Sami Zayn

Sami is challenging but first he needs to rant about no one having his back for years. Cue Brock Lesnar so Sami keeps talking about how he’s going to win the title. Brock snaps off the German suplexes into the F5 and Sami is left laying. Another F5 makes it even worse and Lesnar puts Sami in the corner, despite him being out on his feet. Lesnar leaves and post break, Reigns comes out for the match. The Usos are here with Reigns and pull Sami back up so the bell can ring. Spear and guillotine retain the title at 16 seconds to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t exactly feeling this one as it was much more about setting things up for Day 1 rather than anything of note here. It wasn’t terrible or even that bad, but it’s a show where you would have been better off reading a recap than watching the show. At least they accomplished something, but don’t waste your time with anything on this show, save for maybe Lesnar having fun getting a fat check.

Results
Sasha Banks b. Shayna Baszler – Hurricanrana
Los Lotharios b. Viking Raiders – Rollup to Erik
King Woods b. Jey Uso via DQ when Jimmy Uso interfered
Sheamus b. Cesaro – Brogue Kick
Roman Reigns b. Sami Zayn – Guillotine

 

 

 

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What in the world happened to this show? Fans have not exactly seemed thrilled with the Battle For Brand Supremacy for a long time now, but this year even the wrestlers have been complaining about how worthless the show really is. There is nothing of value here as the show is all about bragging rights, without even as much as a title on the line. Maybe the action can make up for the lack of…well everything else. Let’s get to it.

Shinsuke Nakamura (SmackDown) vs. Damian Priest (Monday Night Raw)

We’ll start it off with a battle of the midcard champions in a match that is kind of appealing. Nakamura has come a very long way since winning the King’s Crown and then the Intercontinental Title. At the same time, Priest is one of the few people to be called up from NXT and then actually do something good on the main roster. The fact that these are two of the exceptions tells you a lot about WWE, but that’s for another time.

I think I’ll go with Priest here, but I had to keep myself from writing Nakamura. You can’t go wrong with either choice here and that is always a good situation to be in. These two are going to hit each other rather hard, though I’m still not sure what is next for either of them after this. Priest has been gone from TV a bit as of late so it would be nice to have him get a win here to re-energize him a bit.

Usos (SmackDown) vs. RKBro (Monday Night Raw)

This is a great illustration of the usual different kinds of tag teams in WWE. You have the regular team vs. the odd couple team who happens to be great together. It’s the kind of thing that could be interesting if there was something on the line, but the quick deal they did on Monday Night Raw isn’t enough to carry it over the line. That leaves us with little more than a match with big names, which is where Orton tends to shine.

Maybe it’s the purist in me but I’ll take the traditional team and go with the Usos here. They’re a better team and one of the most successful teams of all time. RKBro is great and you can’t ignore the RKO, but I’m hoping that this winds up with a Superfly Splash to Riddle. The Usos need to win here to keep Roman Reigns happy, and that’s about as important as you can get these days. We’ll go with the twins.

Battle Royal

They were going to have to add in one more match for the sake of giving us an odd number and this works as well as anything else. The match will have twenty five people included to tie in with the Rock’s debut from 25 years ago, so at least they added a tiny bit of flavor. A Rock video wouldn’t surprise me here, and that’s about the extent of excitement I can muster.

For a winner I’ll go with….Otis for a random surprise. It’s not like this is going to be anything more than one match on the scorecard so why not have a little fun. Otis has been treated as a bigger deal as of late so give him a win that they can brag about for a bit. There isn’t much of a chance of him winning but it’s not like this is the Royal Rumble or anything huge.

Monday Night Raw Women vs. SmackDown Women

I’m not sure I could remember the lineups for this match if I had to and that’s a good illustration of what is wrong with the match. These women were thrown together and there is no real reason to get excited over what we’re seeing. Odds are it’s a bunch of fast falls with no one getting much of a showcase, which would be the norm around here. At least Toni Storm is getting a shot on a bigger stage for once.

I think I’ll take the SmackDown women here, as their lineup is just a bit stronger. We should be in for some good action, at least while it lasts, but you’re only going to get so far with little drama and a bunch of women trying to get their stuff in. The women’s matches have been decent in recent years, but things have changed so much that it is hard to get my hopes up here.

Monday Night Raw Men vs. SmackDown Men

Here we have the show’s other namesake match and another match where the teams might as well have been drawn out of a hat. There is little connecting these people other than their matching shirts and I don’t know how much drama they will be able to produce under these conditions. Then again you can always get SOMETHING out of one of these matches so maybe they have some hope.

I’ll go with the red ones here as that is a pretty awesome group. Then again that is assuming Kevin Owens doesn’t turn on the rest of the team, which certainly wouldn’t be out of the question. The match should work out well due to who is in there, but it’s another one that doesn’t quite excite me. Maybe if the teams hadn’t been added to their new shows about a month ago.

Becky Lynch (Monday Night Raw) vs. Charlotte (SmackDown)

I could actually see this headlining the show. This is the match that is built off of the backstage altercation the two of them had which hasn’t actually been mentioned on TV, but WWE is assuming that we all know what they’re talking about. While it would be nice to have something fresh in this spot for a change, I can get the special feeling they’re going for with these two.

The match is basically a coin toss but I’ll take Charlotte due to reasons of her being Charlotte. Lynch is still the biggest star in the Monday Night Raw women’s division but Charlotte winning sounds about right. I’m almost scared about how they’re going to end the match though, as this could be a prime target for some kind of a screwy finish to protect them both.

Roman Reigns (SmackDown) vs. Big E. (Monday Night Raw)

This one got a lot more personal this week and that’s a good thing. Anything involving serious Big E. feels like a boost and that is what we are getting now that Reigns has attacked King Woods. I’m not sure how much doubt there is about the winner here, but this is actually feeling like a clash of two guys who could do some serious damage to each other if they get the chance.

With that said, of course Reigns wins, likely thanks to an Usos distraction. Things seem to be setting up for Woods vs. Reigns at Day One in Atlanta so having Big E. win here wouldn’t make a ton of sense. It also isn’t likely that Reigns is going to lose a match that doesn’t have any meaning, as WWE has built him up far too strong. Reigns wins here, but only after he takes a beating.

Overall Thoughts

I think you get the idea of how Survivor Series isn’t what it used to be. Ultimately there is nothing on the line here and everyone but WWE seems to know that is a problem. I have no reason to believe that will change next year, but for at least this time we’re stuck with another show that feels like two TNA One Night Only specials got melted into each other. Maybe it will be good, though don’t expect much that happens here to matter, even in the short term.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: November 19, 2021
Location: XL Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and that means it is time to hype up the Battle Of Brand Supremacy. We don’t have anything else to talk about on the show because there are no title matches or really anything personal to build towards, but maybe Big E. can show up to avenge his friends. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event, with the Usos getting Roman Reigns DQ’ed against Xavier Woods. Reigns got the crown anyway.

Here are the Usos to promise to win on Sunday and gives a passionate introduction to Roman Reigns. The throne is set up and Paul Heyman talks about how much he deserves to be crowned king more than anyone else. Heyman says Xavier Woods should never be king, nor should Big E., who will be smashed this weekend by the Tribal King. Reigns asks for the mic and wants to know whose idea this was. He has no idea why anyone would want this because he has already put in the work. Reigns: “HARTFORD, ACKNOWLEDGE ME!”

Cue Xavier Woods to say he challenges Reigns for tonight, with the Usos (referred to as the goons) staying in the back, but the stuff in the ring doesn’t matter. Reigns likes that and tells the Usos to destroy the throne and everything else. Only the crown is left, so Reigns gives him one more change to save it. Woods charges in and gets beaten down. Reigns has him dragged to the middle and says he doesn’t need props. The crown is destroyed and Woods is sent into the pieces. This is one of the best feuds going in WWE today and I’m looking forward to Woods challenging Reigns at Day One in Atlanta.

Post break Woods can’t walk through the back but he’ll be in the ring to face Reigns tonight. Everyone knows the Roman Empire wasn’t built in a day but it will fall tonight.

Cesaro vs. Sheamus vs. Ricochet vs. Jinder Mahal

The winner gets the final spot on the Survivor Series team. Cesaro and Sheamus knock the other two down to start so Sheamus can clothesline him. Sheamus does the Bar pose and then beats Ricochet up, only to get sunset flipped for two. Mahal is back up with a knee to Ricochet’s head and they pair off again. Ricochet is tied in the ropes so Sheamus can hit the forearms but Mahal rolls Sheamus up for two. That sets up the forearms to Mahal’s chest but Ricochet is back in to clear out Sheamus and Cesaro. A crazy high springboard flip dive takes out everyone and we take a break.

Back (with a graphic showing everyone’s name and face, which is a REALLY nice thing to have and something that should have been around a long time ago) with Sheamus superplexing Mahal, followed by Ricochet’s super hurricanrana to Cesaro. We hit a parade of taking each other down, leaving Cesaro to Swing Mahal.

The parade of secondary finishers is on but Mahal can’t Khallas Ricochet. Instead it’s Ricochet up with the 630 to Mahal but Sheamus Brogue Kicks him down. Sheamus gets two on Mahal with Cesaro making the save before uppercutting Sheamus out of the air. The Neutralizer is loaded up but here’s Ridge Holland for a distraction, allowing Sheamus to Brogue Kick Cesaro for the pin at 11:01.

Rating: B-. There were some awesome spots in here and Ricochet looked like a star. You could go with a few different choices for the win here and Sheamus works well enough. You can always use a big brawler on a team and while it would be nice to see Ricochet getting the spot, at least it isn’t trying to shine Mahal up again.

Jeff Hardy is excited to team with some very talented people this year, but Happy Corbin is in his own world. Cue Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss, with the latter calling Hardy a redneck. Adam Pearce comes in to say he wants Smackdown to win on Sunday (Since when?) but for tonight, it’s Moss vs. Hardy. That makes Hardy point and laugh in a nice moment.

Sheamus is happy to have Ridge Holland in his corner and can’t believe he was Holland’s inspiration. To the bar they go.

Commentary introduces a long video on Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch, with an acknowledgment of their feud that the media has been talking about. This is a really weird feud as the most of the thing is about something that didn’t officially happen on WWE TV but everyone has heard about it and WWE is running with the thing. I could go with some kind of a direct acknowledgment, but this is feeling more like the AEW model where “yeah but everyone knows what we mean.” You can’t do it all the time, but it’s working here.

Anyway, we see the awkward title exchange and get a talk about how their careers will always be intertwined, including the first women’s match to main event Wrestlemania. Then we move into their on-screen stuff as of late, which is more of a traditional feud between two titans of the division.

Natalya/Shayna Baszler vs. Aliyah/Naomi

Aliyah starts fast with a hurricanrana to Natalya and everything breaks down in a hurry. Shayna grabs the Kirifuda Clutch on Naomi but Natalya tags herself in. That’s broken up and Natalya grabs a rollup for a fast count pin at 1:03 (with the referee bolting to the back). I don’t know if you’re picking up on this, but we might have a corrupt authority figure around here.

Sami Zayn tells Sonya Deville that everything is wrong with his documentary but Sonya has an idea: let’s have a 25 man battle royal at Survivor Series in honor of 25 years since the Rock’s debut. Hold on though as the referee pops in to ask if she did a good job in the women’s tag. Sonya has no idea who she is because she doesn’t associate with crooked referees so get out of here.

Madcap Moss vs. Jeff Hardy

Happy Corbin is here with Moss, so Hardy brings out Drew McIntyre to be in his corner. Hardy starts fast and takes Moss down, setting up the Swanton in a hurry. Corbin goes for a distraction so McIntyre throws him over the announcers’ table. Moss catches Hardy on top and tries a suplex but gets reversed into into a small package to give Hardy the pin at 1:45.

Post match McIntyre kicks Corbin in the face and Hardy adds the Swanton to Moss.

We recap the opening sequence.

Kayla Braxton scares Paul Heyman again and yes he has heard Xavier Woods’ challenge. He is tired of this idea that Roman Reigns needs the Usos. Reigns loves the challenge like Kayla loves Heyman, so tonight Reigns will face Woods later tonight.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Angel

Non-title and Angel TAKES OFF HIS PANTS before the bell. Nakamura starts fast and kicks Angel down, only to dive into a dropkick. We see Los Lotharios photoshopped onto People Magazine as the Sexiest Men Alive as Nakamura hits a knee off the apron. Rick Boogs beats up Humberto and the distraction lets Nakamura hit Kinshasa for the pin at 1:43. This was really messy with too much going on at once despite how short it was.

Post match, Humberto jumps Nakamura and runs off.

We look back at Shotzi turning on Sasha Banks a few weeks ago.

Shotzi and Banks glare at each other in the back with Sonya Deville cutting them off. Shotzi goes on a rant about how payback is a….and she’s cut off. Banks says everyone tries to make a name off of her and yeah, payback is a b****, and so is she. Sonya wants them to shake hands after their match.

Sasha Banks vs. Shotzi

Shotzi drives her into the corner to start but Banks cools things down with a headlock. Banks grabs Three Amigos but has to bail out of the frog splash attempt. Shotzi misses a charge to the floor, where she avoids Banks’ dive off the apron. The arm gets caught in the steps so Shotzi can kick away, allowing her to dive back in and break the count. Back to the floor and Banks gets sent inside for one before sending Shotzi back outside.

The Meteora off the apron drops Shotzi and we take a break. Back with Shotzi working on the arm but Banks kicks her away and hits a really good looking top rope Meteora for two of her own. Shotzi is right back with another arm snap over the top and a ram into the post. Back in and the Ball Pit connects, only to have Sasha roll outside. Banks is fine enough to grab the Bank Statement, but uses her leg to pull Shotzi’s head back for the tap at 11:09.

Rating: B-. This felt like a fight and that’s how they should have been going at each other. Banks nailed some of those Meteoras and the Bank Statement at the end was a cool finish. It would be nice to not have Shotzi lose all the time, but beating Banks is a career win that she isn’t quite reach for yet. Good match though as Shotzi continues to be treated like a somebody.

Post match Sonya Deville comes out to watch the handshake. They do shake hands, but Banks pulls Shotzi into a Backstabber.

Roman Reigns asks Paul Heyman if it is time, with Heyman confirming that it is. The Usos are told to stay in the back for this one.

We get a vignette from Xia Li in the form of a comic book. She talks about her dad protecting her as a kid and then dying for some reason. It made her feel vulnerable and their landlord was all over them. He threw their stuff out of their house and into the street, which made her hate vultures. Now she is the protector and she is coming to Smackdown. Cool.

Toni Storm is fired up for Survivor Series, but also after challenging Charlotte last week. We see Charlotte turning her down last week and Toni thinks that makes Charlotte vulnerable. After Survivor Series, she still won’t be scared of Charlotte. Cue Charlotte to say Toni can be next on the list after Becky Lynch. Charlotte makes threats of destruction and walks away, which Toni interprets as fear. Of note: Toni’s 80’s deal was nowhere to be seen here and she was just a normal person.

Here is Xavier Woods to call out Roman Reigns. Last week the Usos interfered when Woods has Reigns beat, because Reigns can’t beat him. Cue Reigns and Heyman, with the latter calling for the Usos. They don’t come out but do get tossed through the entrance….because Big E. is here. The fight is on in the aisle and Reigns is sent into the barricade. Big E. sends Reigns inside and the beating is on.

The Usos come in and get beaten up as well, setting up Woods’ big dive. Reigns is back up with the Superman Punch to Big E. but the spear is countered into a Big Ending attempt. Reigns bails away (while seeming to favor his left arm a lot) to end the show. This was a hot segment and what they have been waiting to do for a long time now.

Overall Rating: B. This was a heck of a show with the Woods vs. Reigns stuff being flat out great. It’s a story that anyone can identify with as they would want to see Woods get some revenge on Reigns. Other than that, they did a nice job of setting up the pay per view, plus whatever is coming next. They were focused this week and that has been lacking over the last few weeks.

Results
Sheamus b. Cesaro, Ricochet and Jinder Mahal – Brogue Kick to Cesaro
Natalya/Shayna Baszler b. Naomi/Aliyah – Rollup with a fast count to Naomi
Jeff Hardy b. Madcap Moss – Small package
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Angel – Kinshasa
Sasha Banks b. Shotzi – Bank Statement

 

 

 

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Tribute to the Troops 2021
Date: November 14, 2021
Location: Toyota Arena, Ontario, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

It’s time for the big patriotic show, which is actually taking place closer to Thanksgiving this time around instead of the usual Christmas season. This one is airing on FOX to make it feel even bigger, though it is just a one hour edition which was taped last month at Smackdown. In other words, they don’t seem to be putting in as much effort this year. Let’s get to it.

Lilian Garcia sings the National Anthem, as only she can.

Video on the troops and what this show means to WWE.

Big E. vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title and commentary does give a brief recap of their history. Robert Roode is here with Ziggler and dig those red, white and blue ropes. Big E. powers out of a waistlock to start and sends Ziggler flying, setting up some gyrations. A kick to the ribs slows Big E. down and Ziggler gyrates a bit as well. That just earns him the abdominal stretch with rhythmic shots to the ribs (I guess that’s better than the spanking. Maybe?), setting up the apron splash. Ziggler is back up with a superkick off the apron though and we take a break.

Back with Big E. powering out of the sleeper and hitting some suplexes. There’s the Warrior Splash but the spear through the ropes is cut off. Ziggler hits the Fameasser for two and the Zig Zag connects for the same. Big E. pulls him out of the air though and the Big Ending is good for the pin at 7:57.

Rating: C. This is what you should expect from this show: a quick appearance from a top star and the win not exactly being in doubt. Then again it’s not like villains ever win here, but they really shouldn’t be. Big E. winning over someone like Ziggler isn’t going to do any damage and it feels like he did a little something, so it’s standard Tribute to the Troops fare.

Post match Roode jumps Big E. and gets taken out as well.

We hear about a Marine who have learned some new skills and trains a lot. She has even been named Marine of the Quarter.

We look at some of the previous Tribute to the Troops specials.

We hear about a Marine from Brazil who moved to America to be in the military like his father.

Bianca Belair vs. Liv Morgan

They fight over arm control to start until Belair headlocks her down. That’s broken up with a headscissors as they’re certainly staying basic to start. Fast mind you, but basic. Back up and Belair flips over Morgan, setting up that little dance she does. A running hurricanrana sends Belair into the corner and now she knows she might have to work a bit. Morgan smiles at her and we take a break.

Back with Belair hitting a spinebuster for two but getting caught in a sunset flip for the same. A loud enziguri puts Belair down (the slow motion replay made that look NASTY) with Morgan needing a breather before following up. Morgan’s middle rope hurricanrana is countered with a drop onto the turnbuckle though, setting up KOD for the pin at 6:45.

Rating: C. I could have gone for more of this as they were just starting to get going before the match wrapped up. Morgan has come such a long way in the last few months and I’m glad to see her getting in some bigger spots on the card. Now just do something more with it, because this is only going to get her so far.

Respect is shown post match.

We hear from 98 year old Woody Williams, the country’s oldest Medal of Honor winner.

Video on a former member of the Navy who recently retired and is now trying to lead a regular life.

Roman Reigns vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Non-title with Paul Heyman and Rick Boogs as the seconds. Reigns’ look of disgust at McAfee’s dance during Nakamura’s entrance is great. Reigns powers Nakamura down to start and they trade some headlocks. Nakamura tapes him down and drops a knee to the throat (or larynx according to McAfee), setting up Good Vibrations. Reigns knocks him into the corner though and starts firing off the clotheslines. We take a break and come back with….another look at the past Tributes to the Troops and a video on a student at West Point.

We’re back to the actual match nearly three minutes after the show came back on the air, as this show continues to be weird. Reigns plants Nakamura with a release Rock Bottom for two and putting on the golden gauntlet. Hold on though as Boogs busts out the guitar solo to break up the Superman Punch. The distraction lets Nakamura hit the spinwheel kick to the face but here are the Usos to jump Boogs. The distraction lets Reigns hit a Superman Punch off the steps and the spear is good for the pin at 9:14.

Rating: C+. This is a match I could go with on a bigger stage, and at least the ending wasn’t clean so Nakamura saves some face. Nakamura has come a long way back after such a long stretch of just feeling like he was there, so it’s nice to have something closer to the good Nakamura back. Reigns was his usual self here, without going to that next level he can reach when he needs to.

The Bloodline poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. While it’s not a terrible show, it feels like one where WWE almost completely forgot that they were supposed to do it until the last minute. You basically saw a collection of dark matches with a bunch of military videos thrown in. It’s not the worst, but this certainly didn’t feel like some kind of a big, special show that WWE looks forward to every year. I would have expected a bit more from WWE on FOX, but this is what we got instead. That’s not exactly a strong tribute, yet it’s not the worst this show has ever done.

 

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Smackdown
Date: November 12, 2021
Location: Scope Arena, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

We are nine days away from Survivor Series and it would be nice if they talked about the show a little bit more. The show has been acknowledged more than once, but the champion vs. champion matches have gotten almost no attention whatsoever. I’d love to see the show built up some more, but we have too many other things to get to first. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Sonya Deville, with the Smackdown women’s Survivor Series team: Shotzi/Natalya/Shayna Baszler/Aliyah, but they need a fifth. That would be the captain of the team: Sasha Banks. Shotzi isn’t happy with this though and is ready to fight Banks, but here is Naomi to come out and get in Sonya’s face. Naomi hits Baszler and the fight is on.

Sasha Banks/Aliyah/Naomi vs. Natalya/Shotzi/Shayna Baszler

Banks bulldogs Natalya down to start so it’s off to Baszler in a hurry. That earns her some running knees from Banks and it’s off to Aliyah, who gets taken into the corner for some alternating stomps. Aliyah gets a small package but has to fight out of a Kirifuda Clutch attempt. The tag brings in Naomi to clean house but Natalya gets in a tag of her own, allowing Baszler to knock Naomi outside.

There’s a suplex to drop Naomi hard on the floor and Natalya does it again for good measure. Naomi gets sent hard into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Naomi caught in Shotzi’s front facelock before Baszler comes back in to work on the arm. Naomi fights out of the corner, including a kick to the face to put Baszler on the floor. Natalya breaks up the tag again though, only to get rolled up.

The kickout sends her into Aliyah for the hot tag, meaning a high crossbody can get two on Natalya. Some Thesz presses and a neckbreaker get two on Natalya as everything breaks down. Banks hits the Meteora off the apron to drop Baszler and Naomi superkicks Shotzi. Back in and Natalya get the Sharpshooter on Aliyah, only to have Naomi shove it over to give Aliyah the pin at 12:48.

Rating: C. I can go for the idea here, but ultimately it is a little hard to buy that Aliyah, who still looked very nervous out there (fair enough) can pin Natalya by more or less leaning on here. There is also the Naomi factor, as you would think she would be on the team somewhere, but that might be too much for WWE to ask. At least they’re giving the team some time. Granted it’s time fighting among themselves, but it’s something.

Sami Zayn is practicing his leadership speech in front of a mirror but Jeff Hardy interrupts. Zayn asked what Hardy thinks, and Jeff says it sucked.

Aliyah is rather excited over her win but Sonya Deville comes in. Sonya asks how long Aliyah has known Naomi and then pulls her off of the team. No replacement is named and Aliyah is crushed.

We look back at Roman Reigns and the Bloodline attacking New Day last week, which has left Kofi Kingston on the injured list.

Kayla Braxton comes up to Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman. Reigns thinks it’s either to acknowledge him or to flirt with the wise man. That makes Reigns laugh, so he tells Heyman to smarten her up. Heyman says that is going to be a hard task but promises that Reigns will make Xavier Woods acknowledge him tonight. If that doesn’t happen, Reigns will take a knee. If Reigns breaks that promise, you can strip him of the Universal Title and ban him from Smackdown.

We look back at Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss getting into it with the Viking Raiders.

Moss has a new joke about Viking Raiders, which suggests that Erik is fat.

Los Lotharios vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs

Boogs busts out some air drums to start and gutwrenches Humberto up for a spinning suplex. Angel gets in a cheap dropkick though and some running knees in the corner give Humberto too. Angel’s dropkick to the side of the head connects but Boogs muscles him up for a face first drop onto the buckle gets him a breather. The hot tag brings in Nakamura to clean house as everything breaks down. Angel posts Boogs and pulls Humberto out of the way of Kinshasa. Humberto uses an Angel distraction to kick Nakamura, setting up a springboard High/Low for the pin at 4:52.

Rating: C. This is the kind of result that is rather annoying. Why in the world would you not have Boogs take the pin here over the Intercontinental Champion? It makes all the sense in the world, but for some reason Nakamura takes a pin rather than his goofy sidekick. That’s one of the (many) reasons why the title means nothing anymore and it’s really annoying to see. Again.

NXT’s Von Wagner is in Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville’s office when Sami Zayn comes in. Zayn wants Jeff Hardy off of the Survivor Series team, so Pearce makes Sami vs. Hardy, with the loser off the team.

Video on the Wrestlemania tickets on sale party at AT&T Stadium. I’ll be there so this is always cool to see.

Here is Charlotte for a chat. Charlotte says it’s nice to see everyone before moving on to talking about her Survivor Series opponent, Becky Lynch. She talks about all of Becky’s different monikers but they add up to making Becky a manufactured champion. Becky has had her great moments, like winning at Wrestlemania XXXV (with Charlotte’s help) and beating Bianca Belair in 26 seconds. At Survivor Series, her new name is going to be Becky Uh Oh, because Charlotte is going to beat her.

Before Charlotte can move on, here is Toni Storm (hokey smoke I had forgotten she actually works here anymore) to interrupt. Toni wants to know about anyone getting an opportunity, so why not Charlotte vs. Toni for the title tonight? That’s a no and Charlotte leaves as Toni glares a lot. Again: slight build for the pay per view and then we move on to something else.

Xavier Woods talks about what a rough week it has been for New Day but promises to make Roman Reigns bend the knee tonight.

Aliyah is on the phone to complain about being thrown off the team when Mustafa Ali comes in. Ali says he knew this would happen but Ricochet comes in to say Aliyah did well and to keep her head up. Aliyah leaves with him and seems to feel better.

Sami Zayn vs. Jeff Hardy

Sami goes after the arm to start but Hardy is back with a hiptoss, much to the pro-Hardy’s crowd’s delight. Hardy sends him face first into the buckle but Sami is back with right hands to take over. They head outside with Jeff sending Sami into the barricade but missing Poetry In Motion. We take a break and come back with Sami grabbing a chinlock. Hardy fights up and hits the basement dropkick for two, with the kickout being quite the surprise. Whisper in the Wind gets two more and there’s the Twist of Fate. The Swanton finishes Sami at 9:13.

Rating: C-. There wasn’t much doubt about the winner here as Sami is the kind of guy who can talk a lot but rarely backs it up in the ring. I’m not sure who is taking Zayn’s place, but it would be nice to see someone fresh get the chance. This is supposed to be the new Smackdown, so let it be someone new for a change.

Post match Sami is all upset.

Hit Row raps about how awesome they are.

Jinder Mahal and Shanky rap about their own greatness. Eminem and Vanilla Ice references are made. Shanky also has to drop a beat for Mahal, setting up a rap about Hit Row. Well so much for Hit Row meaning anything.

Xia Li is coming.

Ridge Holland still thinks Sheamus is rather neat. Cesaro comes in to say he knows Sheamus well, because they didn’t just set the bar, but they were the Bar. Holland says he and Sheamus will be a much more successful team when Sheamus is back next week.

Raw Rebound.

Roman Reigns vs. King Woods

The loser takes a knee/acknowledges the other. Paul Heyman is here with Reigns but Woods is on his own. Reigns goes right after Reigns to start but gets knocked to the floor for a surprise. A dropkick through the ropes rocks Reigns again until he drops Woods onto the announcers’ table.

We take a break and come back with Reigns hitting the rapid fire clotheslines in the corner. Woods gets in a shot of his own for a breather and a side kick to the face gets two. Reigns plants Woods coming off the ropes but the spear is cut off with a superkick. The Limit Break gets two…as the Usos pull Woods out for the DQ at 10:48.

Rating: C+. This was another good one as Woods continues to be on the roll of a lifetime. It would not shock me at all to see him turn this into a Day 1 challenge for the title in his hometown of Atlanta, as I’ve heard far worse ideas. Solid match here with the ending keeping Woods looking very strong.

Post match the big beatdown is on and the Usos put the crown on Reigns’ head to end the show. Again: you can see how they have Big E. pulled into this but it still hasn’t happened yet.

Overall Rating: C. The show had the same problem as Raw: there is almost nothing done to set up the matches at Survivor Series. There are some points where it feels like they are getting the teams ready, but the lack of personal issues is dragging things down. It’s another case of WWE trying to build towards multiple things at once and as a result, nothing feels important.

Results
Sasha Banks/Aliyah/Naomi b. Sonya Deville/Natalya/Shotzi – Rollup to Natalya
Los Lotharios b. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs – Springboard High/Low to Nakamura
Jeff Hardy b. Sami Zayn – Swanton Bomb
King Woods b. Roman Reigns via DQ when the Usos interfered

 

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