Expect what should be expected.

This is another match that doesn’t need to be on the show but is anyway because we need to get these eight people, most of whom have been inconsequential in recent weeks, on the show. It should be a nice little nine minute match at most, but the entrances alone will add close to ten mote. I like the Usos but I’d definitely prefer seeing them face the Hardys in an actual dream match.

I’ll actually go with Black vs. Ricochet just to mix things up a little bit. The SmackDown tag team division is dying for some fresh blood and it makes sense to have the newer teams getting the titles. That being said, since it makes sense, the Bar or Nakamura/Rusev are probably the favorites. I’ll take what I want to see, though with very little confidence in seeing it happening.

Wrestlemania XXXIV
Date: April 8, 2018
Location: Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 78,133
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

So here we are. After all these months, we’ve finally arrived at Wrestlemania and as JR has put it, it don’t get no bigger than this. The main event is Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar (THIS TIME FOR SURE!), along with Ronda Rousey making her long awaited in-ring debut. It’s hard to say what to expect, other than a very long show with a lot of stuff crammed in. Let’s get to it.

I was in the stadium for this show. My seat was in the lower arena in the corner, opposite the hard camera. I was looking almost directly at the upper right hand ring post.

Kickoff Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Apollo, Shelton Benjamin, Konnor, Mike Kanellis, Primo Colon, R-Truth, Dolph Ziggler, Matt Hardy, Baron Corbin Scott Dawson, Fandango, Mojo Rawley, Chad Gable, Luke Gallows, Dash Wilder, Aiden English, Heath Slater, Viktor, Curtis Axel, Tyler Breeze, Bo Dallas, Rhyno, Titus O’Neil, Kane, Tye Dillinger, Goldust, Curt Hawkins, Sin Cara, Zack Ryder, Karl Anderson

Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are in on commentary for this, along with Saxton. I was coming into the stadium as the wrestlers came down the ramp so my timing couldn’t have been much better. As usual, it’s almost impossible to tell what’s going on to start until Aiden English is eliminated. Anderson gets rid of Viktor and it’s already time for Ziggler to do his last second saves.

There goes Hawkins (who I still can’t wait to see actually win something) R-Truth and Goldust reunite for all of eight seconds before Goldust tosses him. With an incorrect countdown to Wrestlemania clock on the screen, Primo is eliminated as well. Mike Kanellis is out (I forgot he worked here too) as Byron tries to explain the Woken Universe to JR. With Jim not exactly sounding interested, Apollo knees Breeze out.

Viktor is out next and the ring is starting to clear a bit, at least to the point where you can at least see the mat. Matt does his rapid fire rams into the buckles to rock Goldust, drawing another DELETE chant. Ryder loads up the Broski Boot on Ziggler but Mojo Rawley runs him over for another elimination to make the fans hate him even more. Gable eliminates Anderson and Titus gets rid of Gallows and we take a break.

Back (After they showed the commercial in the stadium. You know, the place WHERE WE’RE WATCHING WHAT THEY’RE ADVERTISING!) with Revival getting rid of Apollo. Wilder is sent to the apron but a Dawson save allows them to eliminate Benjamin instead. The Revival is sent out at the same time, followed by Kane getting rid of the Miztourage. We cut to the crowd where John Cena is watching as a fan (because of course he is) and come back to see Cara being tossed as well.

Kane uppercuts Fandango out and Slater makes the mistake of going to the apron, allowing Corbin to get rid of him as well. Gable joins him on the floor, leaving us with Corbin, Goldust, Rawley, Ziggler, Fandango, Kane, O’Neil and Dillinger. That means a Kane vs. Corbin showdown but everyone else interferes before anything happens. Titus starts cleaning house and throws Ziggler over his shoulders, only to get superkicked and clotheslined out. Goldust snaps off the powerslam to Ziggler and it’s Shattered Dreams to Tye.

Ziggler is ready for him though and dumps Goldust but gets punched down by Hardy. That gives us the TEN vs. DELETE showdown, which I didn’t know I needed to see. A Twist of Fate is enough to get rid of Dillinger, followed by Ziggler superkicking Kane’s hands. Kane dumps him without much effort but Corbin dumps his fellow giant to get us down to Mojo, Corbin and Hardy. A fireman’s carry faceplant drops Hardy and the double teaming begins. Not that it matters as we’ve got Bray Wyatt to save Hardy, allowing him to eliminate Rawley. Wyatt takes End of Days but Matt gets rid of Corbin to win at 16:34 as Wyatt wasn’t entered.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was terrible, running WAY too long and making me wonder when it was going to be over. So many of these people just don’t need to be on Wrestlemania (Hawkins, Ascension, R-Truth, Primo, Kanellis, Rawley to name a few) and they’re just extending the show by being in this. Matt winning makes the most sense as it’s not like many other people in the match are doing anything at the moment.

Matt and Bray pose post match as Bray is officially good. Now just don’t get injured and lose your spot again.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali

The title is vacant coming in, Drake Maverick is at ringside and Ali is SubZero for some reason. Cedric shouts a lot and they shake hands for the sake of good sportsmanship. An exchange of shoulders goes to Cedric so Ali snaps off a hurricanrana for our first standoff. Back up and Cedric flips away to grab a headscissors, followed by a dropkick for two. Ali gets sent to the floor and taken down by a big flip dive but there’s no commercial, despite the announcers sounding like they were sending us to one. Nice change of pace for once.

Back in and we hit a waistlock to keep Ali down and a high backdrop gives Cedric two. Another waistlock and a knee to the ribs keep Cedric on target as he certainly has a game plan. Cedric plants him with a Spanish Fly and counters a tornado DDT by crotching Ali on top. With Ali stunned, Cedric goes up as well but gets caught in a super Spanish Fly, which even impresses Cena. The 054 is broken up with a shove to the floor and now we go to the inset ad for Rousey’s debut. At least they didn’t show this in the stadium, which would have almost been just as annoying as showing the whole thing.

Back with Cedric getting caught in a reverse hurricanrana and now the tornado DDT connects. The 054 hits this time but Cedric gets his foot on the ropes. Another 054 attempt misses and Alexander elbows him in the head. Ali gets elbowed down again and the Lumbar Check gives him the title at 12:18.

Rating: B-. This was a lot less competitive than I remember it being as Alexander dominated from the beginning and ran over Ali save for a little flurry near the end. Alexander winning is the right call and I’m glad neither of them went heel here. They both looked good but Ali was a step behind what he usually does here. I had a good time with it and Cedric winning is a feel good moment. That’s all you could ask for here.

Kickoff Show: Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal

Naomi, Carmella, Mandy Rose, Peyton Royce, Liv Morgan, Kavita Devi, Sarah Logan, Dakota Kai, Sasha Banks, Mickie James, Bianca Belair, Becky Lynch, Kairi Sane, Taynara Conti, Sonya Deville, Lana, Bayley, Ruby Riott, Natalya, Dana Brooke

Paige and Beth Phoenix are on commentary. Royce, Devi, Kai, Belair, Sane and Conti are from NXT. Lynch, Bayley and Banks are the only ones to get entrances. Carmella poses with the briefcase at the bell and gets gang attacked, meaning it’s an early elimination. It’s Dana being circled (Dana: “THAT’S NOT NICE!”) and gang attacked for the elimination.

Everything breaks down and the NXT women stand tall, meaning it’s time for the required NXT chant. Becky yells at Devi for stealing the orange look and gets slammed for her complaints. Mandy gets tossed and Paige is panicking. Deville is slammed down and Belair is allowed to hit a 450 as we take a break.

Back with Sane being tossed after hitting the Insane Elbow on Riott during the commercial. Devi is tossed and Conti is knocked out a few seconds later. Belair whips Becky with the hair but gets kicked out in short order. Kai kicks Naomi in the face to put her under the ropes and out to the floor. Banks gets rid of Kai and Riott punches Mickie out. Now it’s Royce firing off some kicks but the Riott Squad superkick her out to a chorus of boos.

We’re down to the Squad, Natalya, Banks, Bayley and Naomi on the floor. Natalya suplexes Riott and Logan down but Bayley saves Sasha from the same. Bayley and Sasha get rid of Natalya, Morgan, Riott and Logan in short order. They stare each other down and Bayley gets the quick elimination. Cue Naomi though and the Rear View is good for the win at 9:49.

Rating: D+. I liked it better than the men’s version (that’s not exactly a high bar to clear) but egads what is the point in giving this to Naomi? She’s been doing a grand total of nothing in recent weeks (months really) and there was a story between Banks and Bayley. This feels like giving Orton the Royal Rumble last year in that someone has to win it, even if

And now, the main show.

Khloe and Halle sing America the Beautiful. They’re billed as “the future of music” but I’m not convinced. If that’s the case, I’d expect an original song.

The opening video is about having a good time, just like it was four years ago. The camera walks through the streets of New Orleans and goes into a cafe/club before someone goes onto a balcony to throw beads down to a crowd below. The regular highlight package, set to Kid Rock’s Celebrate and mixed with Wrestlemania XXX highlights (good choice really), takes us into the stadium and my goodness the set looks amazing. It’s designed to look like a Mardi Gras mask, though the bottom looks like a huge mustache over the entrance. Also, several of the wrestlers’ eyes will appear in the mask for a very cool touch.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor vs. The Miz

Miz is defending after both challengers beat him in one night, which is totally the same thing or something. Rollins has blue contacts in, I guess making him the ice to the fire that burns it down? Still though, looks pretty cool. In another cool addition, there are some personalized 3D projections for some wrestlers, including Miz’s name with quotes around him saying how great and awesome Miz is. These could only be seen on the monitors so I didn’t notice them until the second match.

Miz, looking even goofier than usual with what looks like a red version of Drew Gulak’s old gear, sends the Miztourage to the back so he can do this on his own. Balor has a rainbow shirt on with a group of fans in identical shirts cheering him on from the stage. The screens say “for everyone” with FOR EVER capitalized.

Balor sends Miz into Rollins to start and some rollups get two for all three of them. With Miz being sent outside, Rollins superkicks Balor in the ribs, only to get sent outside. That means a big flip dive onto the two of them as Balor gets the first real advantage. Everyone heads back inside with Rollins hitting a double Blockbuster for two on Balor. Miz takes Rollins down and grabs a chinlock for a few seconds to slow things down. A neckbreaker gets two on Balor and it’s back to the chinlock.

Balor fights up and stomps on Miz’s ribs but gets caught with a Sling Blade from Rollins. Seth isn’t done and hits a suicide dive on both guys, only to get caught in a Sling Blade from Balor. Miz’s short DDT gets two on Seth and he boots Rollins in the face to break up a springboard. A dragon screw legwhip sets up the Figure Four on Balor but here’s Rollins with a frog splash for the break. That looked much better on screen as you didn’t see Rollins until he was on the top and ready to jump.

They all head outside again with Balor escaping the shoulder breaking barricade bomb. Instead it’s a Sling Blade to put Rollins down but he’s back up with an enziguri to rock Balor. That earns him a Pele and the 1916 for two as Balor is stunned. Miz catches Balor on top but gets caught in a buckle bomb, leaving Balor to take the superplex into a Falcon Arrow but Balor reverses into a small package for two. A Skull Crushing Finale gets two on Rollins to cap off a rocking sequence.

Another Finale is reversed into a rollup for two but Balor gets crotched on top. Rollins goes up top with him but Miz is right there with a super Skull Crushing Finale (looked better than it sounds). The cover is broken up with a Coup de Grace and a second hits Miz clean. Rollins runs over with a Stomp to drive Balor’s head into Miz’s back, followed by the regular version to pin Miz for the title at 15:30.

Rating: B. This was the kind of match you expect from the Intercontinental Title as all three were working hard and the match felt very crisp at the same time. Miz will get the title back someday and break both records, as he should. I’m sure Balor will get the title as well, which is nothing but good for the Intercontinental Title. If nothing else it’s cool to see the former World Champions becoming Intercontinental Champions. That wasn’t always the case (After Pedro Morales, the next former World Champion to win an Intercontinental Title was HHH in 2001) but it’s a good way to give the title some more instant credibility.

Ad for the Andre documentary. I’ve heard good things.

Cena is still a fan. How cool would it be to have him next to you at Wrestlemania?

We recap Charlotte vs. Asuka, which is title vs. streak. Charlotte has dominated the Women’s Division for nearly three years now but Asuka hasn’t a match since debuting in late 2015. The match here is Queen vs. Empress with Charlotte saying she’s ready for Asuka.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Asuka

Charlotte is defending and copies HHH’s entrance from Wrestlemania XXX with a throne and three masked men helping her off. These three: Riddick Moss, Tino Sabbatelli and Dan Matha. I’m assuming this was something about she once helped HHH off the throne but now she has her own, but it felt like a tribute to HHH more than anything else. Asuka on the other hand has 3D masks superimposed over her entrance. You know, in case it wasn’t scary enough already.

They fight over a wristlock to start with both of them flipping away, leaving Charlotte to hit the strut. Charlotte trips her down and goes for the leg but Asuka kicks her away, setting up a knee shot for two. Back up and Asuka’s hip attack is blocked so it’s time for the chops. The second hip attack sends Charlotte outside and you can see the cockiness on Asuka’s face.

Charlotte gets back in and it’s time to start cranking on the arm to set up the Asuka Lock. It’s way too early for that though so Charlotte strikes her in the face a few times but has to break another attempt. This time it’s a backpack Stunner to get Charlotte out of trouble and some knees to the head (think the Stomp but with a knee) put Asuka down again. The moonsault misses though as Asuka catches her in a triangle (SWEET!) in the middle of the ring.

That’s reverses into a Boston crab but Asuka rolls her way out of it. They head to the apron (becoming way too common) and Asuka suplexes her down to the floor in a big crash. Back in and the missile dropkick puts Charlotte down for two and Asuka is getting frustrated. They go up top and it’s a super Spanish Fly (I believe that’s three on the night so far) to give Charlotte a big breather.

Natural Selection is countered into something like an Octopus Hold on the mat before switching to the Asuka Lock. Charlotte reverses that with a rollup before cutting Asuka in half with a spear for a VERY near fall. With Asuka half done, Charlotte grabs the Figure Eight, balancing on one hand because of the banged up arm. After hanging on as long as she can, Asuka ACTUALLY TAPS to retain Charlotte’s title at 13:05.

Rating: A-. I was kind of stunned at the amount of time this had as I would have bet on it being at least five minutes longer. This felt like a clash of titans and Charlotte winning gives her a very strong case for being the best of all time. Aside from not being around as long as some others, she has the resume, skill and pure skill to make her the best WWE has ever seen.

Having Asuka do a lot of her usual stuff (albeit cranked up a few notches) was a great way to set up the match as Charlotte was able to hang on and use what she had seen along with her natural athleticism to be ready for what Asuka brought. It was hard hitting, told a story and was an instant classic. Great stuff here, which shouldn’t be that surprising.

Post match Asuka says Charlotte was ready for Asuka and congratulates her.

With Charlotte on the ramp and Asuka in the ring, a referee tells Cena something (the words “Taker is here” may have been spoken) so Cena jumps the barricade (security around here sucks) and sprints up the ramp. That took something away from the women’s moment. Do the commercial and then move on to the Cena angle. It’s not going to make that much of a difference and lets the women have their full moment.

US Title: Bobby Roode vs. Rusev vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending after having a three way feud with Roode and Mahal for the last few weeks. Rusev pinned Orton in a tag match to be added, along with being one of the hottest guys in the company. Aiden English (who has gotten his hair cut since the battle royal) introduces Rusev, in rhyme of course. You can see the fans heading for the concourse during the entrances, which is rather interesting given how popular Rusev was over the weekend. Aside from a Wrestlemania shirt, I saw more Rusev Day shirts than anything else. I guess the repelling powers of Mahal and Orton are too much even for Rusev Day.

The early threat of an RKO sends Mahal bailing to the floor and Rusev dropkicks Roode to the floor. Rusev cannonballs off the apron to take out Orton and Mahal as Phillips acknowledges the popularity of Rusev Day. Back in and Roode’s Blockbuster gets two, leaving Mahal to get punched back and forth between Roode and Orton. A superplex brings Roode down but it’s Mahal asking Rusev for an alliance.

Rusev, realizing that he should have been Mahal last year, stomps Mahal down in the corner instead before getting two off a belly to back suplex. Roode is back with a spinebuster for two on Mahal but gets posted by Orton. Now it’s Rusev kicking Orton down until a spinwheel kick misses. The hanging DDT plants Rusev and English is starting to panic. A pair of RKO’s take out English and Rusev, followed by one to Mahal for a near fall with Roode making the save. Mahal takes a Machka Kick but can’t get the Accolade. Instead he has to deal with Sunil Singh and walks into the Khallas to make Mahal champion at 8:15.

Rating: D. And that is the big middle finger to the fans who thought they were getting somewhere with the Rusev Day chants. WWE wants Jinder Mahal to be pushed in this role and the lack of success and complete apathy to his push means nothing. This is what WWE wants and you can chant RUSEV DAY and buy his merchandise all you want. Mahal is WWE’s guy right now and you can just deal with it until they’re tired of him. Rusev taking the fall here is all the evidence you need: your voices don’t matter here and get over it. The match was as uninteresting as these four were going to be, which was completely expected.

The Fashion Police try to give Mick Foley a ticket but Breeze likes his style, driving Fandango to his knees in terror.

We recap Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle vs. HHH/Stephanie McMahon. Rousey signed with WWE earlier in the year but Angle thinks HHH and Stephanie are just trying to use her. This set off a feud between the two teams with Rousey beating HHH much, only to have Stephanie put her through a table. The match was set up because Rousey needs a debut and putting her in a tag match is the best possible idea. It lets them hide her negatives and accentuate her positives so this has some potential. Of course there’s also the potential that it’s really just about Stephanie, which certainly wouldn’t be outside the realm of possibility.

Stephanie McMahon/HHH vs. Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle

In a near repeat of last year, HHH and Stephanie come out on matching motorcycles with a group of motorcycles accompanying them. I don’t know if HHH is just that big a fan of motorcycles or if he just wanted to see his wife as a biker chick again (fair enough) but this didn’t do much for me. Rousey comes out in a Roddy Piper style kilt, in what shouldn’t be a shock to anyone paying attention whatsoever. The fans give Rousey a nice reaction and Stephanie pie faces her before the bell. They’re already milking the heck out of Rousey murdering her and a hair pull makes things even worse.

The men start things off with the fans telling Angle that he still has it. Angle cranks on the arm as they’re actually treating this like a tag match to start. Stephanie offers a low bridge though and HHH sends him into the steps to really take over. A suplex brings Angle back inside and we’re just waiting on this to explode. Back in and HHH calls for and delivers a spinebuster for two. Angle kicks him away and nearly into Stephanie but HHH puts the brakes on in time. A suplex drops HHH, only to have Stephanie pull Rousey off the apron. I’ll give Stephanie this: she knows how to be an amazing heel.

Another kick to the floor is enough for the tag to Rousey and the place goes coconuts. Rousey EXPLODES into the corner (Graves: “CALL THE COPS!”) to pull Stephanie in and scores with a running clothesline. With Stephanie in big trouble (Rouse: “COME ON B****!”), Rousey takes her into the corner and unloads with rights and lefts before throwing Stephanie again. It’s already time for the arm….and Stephanie blocks it by stacking her up.

You can hear the air go out of the stadium, mainly because STEPHANIE MCMAHON JUST BLOCKED THE ARMBAR THAT MMA FIGHTERS (not to mention Olympic level athletes) COULDN’T BLOCK! I mean, is anyone really surprised? It’s the dumbest, most Stephanie praising thing that could have been done so of course they went there. Rousey lets go and gets DDT’d as the announcers try to explain that Stephanie grew up in wrestling so she knows how to do that. Ignore that she’s wrestled one match in over fourteen years; she knows wrestling.

Back up and Rousey goes into Beast Mode, setting up a spinning Samoan drop for two with HHH pulling the referee out. Rousey: “You’re the biggest cheater I’ve ever seen! I’m going to go continue beating up your wife ok?” HHH pulls Rousey outside as well but Angle takes him onto the announcers’ table. Kurt gets thrown onto the other table so HHH can check on Stephanie. He turns around to see Rousey though and it’s time for some intergender violence.

You can see HHH thinking about it and the fans are WAY into this one. He finally agrees to it and Rousey UNLOADS on him with rights and lefts to drive HHH into the corner. A fireman’s carry has HHH in trouble but Stephanie makes the save. This was GREAT with HHH selling the heck out of the beating and making Rousey look that much better. Stephanie slaps Rousey for some reason and the chase is on, this time with Stephanie sending him into the barricade.

HHH takes Rousey down though and it’s time for Angle to unleash the suplexes. The rolling German suplexes have HHH in trouble but he tries a quick Pedigree. That’s reversed into a catapult into the corner (he always takes that so well) and the Angle Slam gets two. There go the straps (that never gets old) but Stephanie breaks up the ankle lock. Angle doesn’t seem to mind and puts the ankle lock on her (doesn’t look great this time around). That’s broken up with a Pedigree but Rousey makes a save.

A powerbomb attempt to Rousey is countered into a hurricanrana (good one too) and there’s the armbar on HHH. The place (including me) goes even more nuts until Stephanie makes the save with a sleeper (called a rear naked choke, which of course Stephanie knows how to do). That’s reversed into another armbar attempt but Stephanie blocks AGAIN.

The ankle lock goes on HHH and the villains grab hands until HHH sends Angle into the women for the break. Angle and Rousey both get posted and it’s time for the double Pedigree. Kurt sends HHH to the floor and the armbar….is blocked for a third time. Rousey FINALLY gets it on and Stephanie taps at 20:38. Dana White is shown applauding Rousey from the front row.

Rating: A-. I can’t give it anything higher than that due to Stephanie going toe to toe with Rousey (at grappling nonetheless) but this was INCREDIBLY fun and far better than anything I was expecting. They pulled every trick they could to make Rousey look better here and it worked to near perfection. She looked like someone who had been doing this for years and came off like a star who is in this for the long haul. Absolutely incredible here and as entertaining as it could have been. I had a blast, Stephanie issues aside. The ending was fine and the most important part, so we’ll call this a major success.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers vs. Usos

The Usos are defending, the New Day has 3D pancakes and, with the call of the DragonZord, Woods’ trombone summons an army of little people dressed like pancakes. I do like the Bludgeon Brothers’ logo with the arms holding hammers to make a B. Kofi wastes no time hitting Trouble in Paradise on Jimmy but Harper makes the save. The Brothers pulls Big E. to the floor for a beating and then powerbomb Woods into the post for good measure.

Back in and Kofi’s beating continues but Jimmy tags himself in and starts kicking away. Some superkicks do a little good but Harper shoves Jimmy into the corner. Jey tags himself in as well (must be a family thing) and starts kicking away, only to have Rowan break up the double Us.

A superkick takes Rowan off the apron…but he catches the double suicide dive. The Usos don’t mind and suplex him down on the floor, leaving Harper to escape the Midnight Hour. Back in and Rowan breaks up the Tower of Doom by shoving the champs to the floor. For some reason Kofi charges at Harper on the top, setting up an assisted super sitout powerbomb to give Harper and Rowan the titles at 5:55.

Rating: D+. This feels like a victim of time but it’s not the worst thing in the world. They went out of their way to make the Brothers look like killers and that’s exactly what happened here. I could have gone for a little more time given to the match, but something has to be cut on a show this long and this was one of the most logical choices. The Brothers won though and that’s what matters the most.

Here’s John Cena for a match, though no opponent has been named yet. A second referee runs down though and tells Cena something is wrong. Cena grabs the referee as he’s shaking his head no. This goes on for a bit….and there go the lights….because Elias is here. Elias: “Were you expecting somebody else?”

Well that someone doesn’t have the charisma Elias has, nor does he have the talent that Elias carries in his soul. Cena bails back to his seat in disgust and leaves Elias alone to sing his song, insulting the fans as he always does. As you might guess, Cena gets up and cleans house by initiating his finishing sequence.

Cena shouts about that being all there is and goes up the ramp…as the lights go out. A spotlight comes on in the ring and Undertaker’s coat and hat are on the mat. Some VERY bad looking CGI lightning hits the gear (looked far better in person, possibly due to the surprise) and panic has set in. And then, a gong strikes. Undertaker appears with his full entrance, meaning it’s time to go! I know I didn’t want to see the match but that entrance, all 6:02 of it from the gong striking to the opening bell, will never stop being mesmerizing.

Undertaker vs. John Cena

Undertaker goes straight at him in the corner and hammers away, including the running clothesline. Old School sets up Snake Eyes and the WORST BIG BOOT EVER. When you’re sitting hundreds of feet away from the ring and can see the gap between the boot and the hands in front of Cena’s face, it’s a really bad sign. But remember, HE STILL HAS IT. The chokeslam is countered into a belly to back suplex but Undertaker sits up before the Shuffle, sending Cena falling off his feet in shock. The chokeslam and Tombstone end Cena completely clean at 2:42. Undertaker doesn’t even seem to be sweating.

So….that happened. I definitely like it better than seeing Undertaker stumble through a long match and it certainly should be memorable. Of course it’s not likely to mean anything until next Wrestlemania season, but this is the perfect payoff: Cena has been acting like a complete and utter jerk this whole time and Undertaker threw him the most decisive beating of his career. Even the Lesnar squash saw Cena get in a little offense and a near fall. Here it was a single suplex and that was it. I’m fine with Undertaker going out like this, but at this point I have no reason to believe it’s over.

Hall of Fame video. Hillbilly Jim should be done any minute now.

Here’s the big presentation to the crowd.

Jeff Jarrett. Nice reaction and the strut still looks good.

Mark Henry. No salmon jacket, no buys.

Hillbilly Jim. My hero as a young Kentucky boy.

Ivory. She’s looking better now than she did when she was active.

Jarius JJ Robertson. Did you know he’s cute? Wasn’t sure if that was made clear.

Dudley Boyz. Yep. Next.

Goldberg. I’m hoping those chants aren’t piped in. He does a Green Lantern pose with the ring to wrap things up.

We recap Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn. Owens and Zayn have been going after the two of them for months now and it wasn’t clear where things were going. Then Bryan was cleared to wrestle again and everything came together at once. The evil Canadians have been attacking both of them, including giving Shane a hernia. They’ve been fired, but Bryan wants one more match with their jobs on the line. The question here is whether or not Shane turns on Bryan, which could go either way.

Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

Shane is in a YES jersey, with the YES being pretty clearly taped on. That sounds like a way for a quick switch to YUP (Owens and Sami’s battle cry) for me. Bryan gets his own entrance, with a Terminator style video, showing the YES chant spreading around the world, even in mainstream sports, before locking in on the home of the YES Movement, which happens to be right here in the Superdome. You can see the emotion on Bryan’s face as he comes to the ring and it’s nearly moving to see.

Owens and Zayn’s music hit but they come in from behind for the big beatdown, including an apron bomb to Bryan. That might be enough for him as the medics come in to check. Even the fans don’t seem to buy this one, as they probably shouldn’t. Shane is willing to fight on his own and YES, we get the lame punches on Owens in the corner. The jumping elbow to the jaw puts Owens down but Shane has to beat up Zayn as well.

Now of course he can do that at the same time, including a jumping kick to Owens and a Maivia Hurricane to Sami. The old hernia pops up though and brings Shane down as we have a stretcher for Bryan. We settle down to Sami taking over on Shane before it’s off to Owens (thankfully in a KO Mania III shirt) to step on the stomach. Owens: “MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY! MONEY ISN’T GOING TO SAVE YOU NOW!”

A superkick sets up the Blue Thunder Bomb for two but Owens gets knocked to the floor. The Helluva Kick misses and Sami gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Of course Shane is fine enough to hit the Coast to Coast but Owens makes the save with a backsplash onto the bad stomach. The frog splash gets two but Bryan comes back in for the save. That’s not enough for a hot tag so Sami gets out of a chinlock by slamming Sami into the mat.

NOW it’s off to Bryan for the first time in nearly three years. He takes his time coming in (as he should) before hammering away on Zayn. There’s the moonsault into the running clothesline, followed by a running knee off the apron to Owens. A missile dropkick puts Bryan down but he grabs his head….and nips up because he’s fine. That was a scary but great moment. The running corner dropkicks rock Owens and Zayn and a top rope hurricanrana drops Sami. Kevin breaks up the knee though and the Helluva Kick is only good for two. My goodness finishers mean nothing on Wrestlemania night.

Owens tells him to stay retired and gets two more off the Pop Up Powerbomb. Since we haven’t seen him in long enough, Shane takes Owens down and we’re back to even again. Back in and Sami hammers away while asking how Bryan could do this to them. That’s enough for Bryan and he unloads with the strikes and YES Kicks, even hitting the big one. The running knee into the YES Lock is good for the submission at 15:25 to keep Owens and Zayn fired.

Rating: C+. This was of course ALL about Bryan, to the point where even Shane’s usual superhero efforts seem to pale in comparison. They didn’t go with the stupid swerve finish for the sake of the storyline because this needed to be Bryan’s night. To go from having no chance to wrestling in a huge Wrestlemania match is more than you could ever ask for and he doesn’t look like he’s lost a step. If he’s back full time, WWE just got one heck of a bonus. Not a great match, but the ending was what it should have been.

Bryan and Shane celebrate with Bryan going to the floor to kiss Brie in a nice moment.

Attendance announcement.

We recap Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax. Bliss had been her friend for a long time but was eventually caught making fun of Nia’s size and weight. This didn’t sit well with Jax and it was time to SMASH. And take the title. Bliss is suddenly ultra confident despite being a foot shorter and about 160lbs lighter.

Raw Women’s Title: Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss

Bliss is challenging and comes down from the set on a mini platform. So that’s what happened to Bad News Barrett’s stage. Hang on a second though as Nia needs to destroy Mickie James before the bell, meaning this is truly one on one. Bliss slaps Nia due to high levels of stupid and Jax’s growl gives us a horror movie level scream in response. Makes sense actually.

There’s a gorilla press to plant Bliss as the dominance isn’t taking time tonight. That’s not the beginning of the end for some reason as Bliss starts in on the knee to take over, including a double knee to the knee in the corner. A guillotine choke is shrugged off but Nia goes shoulder first into the post (WAY too common of a spot tonight). Twisted Bliss to the floor drops Nia and the DDT gets two, shocking/scaring the heck out of Bliss all over again.

For some reason Bliss calls Nia pathetic and slaps her a few times….until Nia grabs her by the throat. A charge into the corner is cut off by another kick to the knee but Bliss’ sunset flip is tossed into the corner. Bliss is right back with a poke to the eye but Nia is right back with one of the hardest Alabama Slams you’ll ever see. Since Bliss is mostly dead, it’s a super Samoan drop to put her away for good and make Nia champion at 9:01.

Rating: D+. I was firmly in the camp of this needing to be about a minute long with Bliss getting in nothing beyond a few harmless forearms and I’m still of that state of mind. Bliss didn’t look like a joke here but there’s a time to squash the heck out of someone and that’s what we had here. Jax is a monster and should have destroyed Bliss in short order. Bliss is going to be fine with one more of those cocky promos and it really would have been better to have her get crushed here. The ending did look great though and the right person won, but it’s the wrong path to get here.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. AJ Styles is the ace of the show and has beaten everyone put in front of him. Shinsuke Nakamura won the Royal Rumble to earn this shot and we have a dream match. Both guys have promised to win and hopefully they don’t collapse under the expectations. The hype video goes throughout AJ’s career, including clips of him on Thunder and from TNA (!) because WWE can just do something like that.

Smackdown World Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. AJ Styles

Nakamura is challenging and gets played to the ring by an army of violinists plus Alice Cooper guitarist Nita Strauss playing the heck out of a guitar. That’s one of the better Wrestlemania entrances I’ve ever seen with Strauss’ playing stealing the show. AJ’s graphic lists him as the Universal Champion. If nothing else he gets a cool looking spinning ring of blue light around him once he gets inside for a cool visual.

Feeling out process to start as the announcers talk about the Japanese match without talking about the Japanese match. AJ drives him into the corner but gets shoved away as they’re still in low first gear. They hit the mat with Nakamura kicking him in the face before doing his head on the chest arm waving deal. A knee drop keeps AJ in trouble but he breaks up Good Vibrations to offer some mind games of his own.

Back to the corner we go with a hard forearm rocking Styles but he grabs a backbreaker for his first major offense. A knee drop gets two on Nakamura and it’s off to the chinlock. The drop down into a dropkick sends Nakamura outside but he kicks the leg out from the apron. A kick to the head really puts Styles in trouble and a middle rope kick to the face makes it even worse. Nakamura tells him to come on but kicks AJ down. Well dude if you want him to COME ON you have to give him the chance to pull it off.

The running knee in the corner rocks AJ but he’s right back with a pumphandle gutbuster for two. It’s Nakamura’s turn to come back in a hurry though and a Landslide (Samoan Driver) gets another near fall. Some right hands in the corner have AJ rocked but he kicks the knee out to take Nakamura down. There’s the Calf Crusher but Nakamura reverses into a triangle choke (another very popular move this weekend).

That’s broken up with something close to a Death Valley Driver and they’re both down again. Nakamura gets in the kick, only to come up holding the damaged leg. There’s some logic to Styles’ plan at least. The running knee hits the buckle and the Phenomenal Forearm gets two.

AJ needs to bring out the mega guns and tries the springboard 450, which hits the bad knee and gives Nakamura two off a small package. They slug it out until AJ Peles him down, only to get kneed in the back of the head. Nakamura has had it and drives knees into the head before slapping AJ a few times. The Kinshasa is loaded up but AJ rolls through, straight into the Styles Clash to retain at 20:20.

Rating: B. Yeah they didn’t really come close to the expectations here and I can’t say I’m surprised. They didn’t have much going on in the way of telling a story other than both guys hitting their big moves and countering a few of the other’s. There’s no reason to hate either of them and that makes for a dull match if you don’t build to a big finish. It’s certainly good but it never hit that next level that people were expecting. Oh and both Royal Rumble winners lose in their title shots. What a great use of the pay per view.

Post match Nakamura presents AJ with the title….and hits him low (with some Ric Flair level force) to turn heel. Nakamura mocks the fallen champion and kicks him to the floor for Kinshasa. For some reason he flashes a Diamond Cutter sign as he goes up the ramp. Maybe he’s a DDP Yoga user?

Now this was good, but why not do this BEFORE NAKAMURA LOST CLEAN? Do it at the worthless Fastlane or on any show before this match. Give them something more personal to fight over, because what we got for a story here was lacking a bit. I don’t get why WWE thinks this has as much of an impact after a loss, because it really doesn’t work. If nothing else have Nakamura hit him low to steal the title after Kinshasa didn’t get the job done. Just something other than this.

Kickoff Show recap.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Braun Strowman/???

Strowman won the shot by winning a tag team battle royal on his own and his partner has been quite the topic of debate coming into this show. The Bar comes out on a Mardi Gras float to the tune of When the Saints Go Marching In before switching to their usual entrance. I was worried I was a bit too tired and imagined all the costumed people on the float but not so much apparently.

Strowman comes out and turns the float over off the stage but has no partner. He knows everyone wants to know who it is, but he wanted to wait until he got to New Orleans. That’s because his partner….is a member of the WWE Universe. Strowman looks around forever and finally sees someone in the crowd. He goes into the crowd (this is taking WAY too long) and finds….a ten year old boy. The boy, named Nicholas, is introduced as Strowman’s partner as Graves is losing his mind.

Nicholas is terrified (completely understandable) as Braun starts (good idea) with Sheamus. Graves isn’t sure about this as Nicholas probably has algebra tomorrow. Fans: “WE WANT NICHOLAS!” A chokeslam gets two on Cesaro but Braun gets double suplexes. With Sheamus talking trash to Nicholas, he drops a top rope knee for two. On Braun, not the kid.

Braun crossbodies both of them down and Sheamus gets backdropped over the corner for a NASTY fall, hitting both the post and the steps on the way down. That’s enough for the tag to Nicholas….who tags straight out again. The powerslam on Cesaro is good for the pin and the titles at 3:57.

Rating: F. I laughed when it happened but the more I think about this, the worse and worse it looks. If you want to do this over a comedy team or something then fine, but after everything Cesaro and Sheamus have done over the last few years, this is the best they can get? Having Brains Strowman come out there would have been a better move as this comes off as a stupid idea where they just refused to pick something and went with the first stupid idea that came to their heads. Put Hawkins out there if this is the best thing you can come up with. I didn’t like this idea as it makes it into a total joke, which shouldn’t be the case.

Wrestlemania XXXV is in New York. Well New Jersey but whatever. I’m good on that one.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns. Lesnar won the Universal Title at last year’s show and Reigns won the Elimination Chamber after doing nothing main event level for months. Reigns went on to call Lesnar out for not being here all the time and just doing what’s best for himself, which earned Reigns a series of beatings. But hey, this time for sure, right?

Universal Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns is challenging and nope, the plan didn’t work. As you might expect, the fans boo him out of the building all over again because THIS ISN’T WORKING. After the Big Match Intros, Lesnar hits three German suplexes in the first thirty seconds. Reigns is right back up with two Superman Punches and a running clothesline to put Lesnar on the floor. Brock grabs a belly to belly on the outside, followed by a second one with Reigns almost landing on his head.

The fans chant for CM Punk as Brock loads up the announcers’ table. Another belly to belly sends Reigns face first into the table (no elevation at all) and Brock hits another German suplex back inside. A seventh suplex (with a fan providing helpful signs) is almost completely flat as we’re just waiting on the beach balls now.

There’s another belly to belly, during which time the fans started doing the Wave. A fan in my section started shouting about how the fans should just leave if they’re that bored because they’re ruining it for the rest of the fans. He was promptly given a DELETE chant because wrestling fans are rather horrible people at times. It’s time for another table as the fans want Johnny Gargano.

Reigns posts him on the floor as the fans aren’t reacting in the slightest. A spear sends Lesnar over the table (still no reaction) as the Wave is in full swing. The fans loudly boo….because a beach ball is taken away. Reigns gets two off a Superman Punch and two spears and it’s beach ball time again. Brock blocks a spear with a knee for two, followed by the F5 for the same. The fans still aren’t interested, because this just isn’t anything they care about.

F5, two, F5, two (Brock: “MOTHERF*****!”), the fans chant BORING (actually acknowledging the match for a change, F5 through a table (to NO reaction), F5, two. That’s enough for Lesnar as he takes the gloves off and just unloads with the hard right hands as the fans declare this awful. Reigns is GUSHING blood but hits two spears for a near fall. Not that it matters as a sixth F5 retains the title at 15:49, shocking the heck out of the crowd.

Rating: D. Here’s the thing: the match itself is a hard hitting video game match and had some entertaining spots. If you watch it in a complete vacuum, it’s actually good. The problem is, at least in this case, you can’t just ignore everything else and watch the match on its own. This was a complete and utter rejection of everything going on and you can’t ignore it. I’m not sure how much more needs to be done to make it clear that Reigns isn’t working but this might be it. Either that or we try to do this again NEXT year, just because that’s what WWE is obsessed with doing.

I have no idea where they go from here as Lesnar might not be around much longer and other than Reigns, there’s no one that could conceivably take the title from him. Reigns winning here was the logical call, but I can see why they pulled the plug. If it’s that bad though and the fans have rejected him this many times in a row, it’s time to admit defeat and move on. Hopefully that’s what the loss means, but stranger things have happened, just with Roman alone actually.

After a long highlight package, as in about seven minutes long, a cleaned up Reigns walks up the ramp to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. You know, there’s a pattern to these mega long shows. For the last three years, they’ve all started off white hot for about two hours but then they hit a road block and go sailing off a cliff. In Dallas it was the Cell, in Orlando it was the mixed tag and here it was pretty much everything after Rousey’s match (Bryan and Styles’ matches ranged from good to acceptable).

Maybe it’s having Reigns as the big finish or maybe it’s just the length of the shows, but they simply can’t maintain the momentum they set up at the start of these shows. It’s like they just run out of ideas and throw whatever nonsense they have on the screen, which may or may not work. I can get that with a small writing staff, but with THIRTY WRITERS put together into two groups, there’s never an excuse to run out of ideas this quickly.

Overall, the show is more good than bad, thanks to the first two matches, the mixed tag, Bryan and AJ, but they really needed to shed….oh a good two hours to get this down to manageable. Notice that I keep saying that year after year. Seven hours is just not something that anyone can pull off because eventually your buzz goes away. It’s happened to me three years in a row and I can’t imagine I’m in the minority. Just give us a break at some point because not everyone needs to be on the show. If you’re only good enough to be thrown into the battle royal, odds are you don’t belong on the card.

Really, the mixed tag main eventing would have made more sense (like you would EVER have to ask Stephanie if she wanted to main event Wrestlemania). If they were going to pull the plug on Reigns winning the title here, go with the feel good, fun match and let Rousey look like the big star. It would make more sense but Reigns seemed to be set in stone for that spot, pretty obvious reaction aside.

All in all, Wrestlemania XXXIV is a good show that needs a MAJOR edit to make it work. Switch the lineup around, shorten some matches, cut some matches (in other words, GET THE TIME LOWER) and you might have something great on your hands. As it is though, it falls into the same category as the other two mega long shows: a hot start, but they run out of gas because there’s a limit to how much wrestling any large group of fans can take.

Results

Seth Rollins b. The Miz and Finn Balor – Stomp to Miz

Charlotte b. Asuka – Figure Eight

Jinder Mahal b. Randy Orton, Bobby Roode and Rusev – Khallas to Rusev

Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle b. HHH/Stephanie McMahon – Armbar to McMahon

Bludgeon Brothers b. New Day and Usos – Double sitout superbomb to Kingston

Undertaker b. John Cena – Tombstone

Shane McMahon/Daniel Bryan b. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens – YES Lock to Zayn

Nia Jax b. Alexa Bliss – Super Samoan drop

AJ Styles b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Styles Clash

Braun Strowman/Nicholas b. The Bar – Powerslam to Cesaro

Brock Lesnar b. Roman Reigns – F5

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Smackdown
Date: April 2, 2019
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s the final final show before Wrestlemania and with five days to go before the longest event in history, I’ll set the over/under for matches being added at two. Tonight in theory should be the first time we get to see the strong promos between Kofi Kingston and Daniel Bryan because less than two weeks is enough time to build a WWE Championship match at Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the Kevin Owens Show with two guests: Randy Orton and AJ Styles. Orton turns his back on AJ and talks about saving the fans from having to watch Styles vs. Kurt Angle last week. AJ says Orton has been here for nearly twenty years and has learned one move. That makes Orton laugh because AJ spent years wrestling in front of dozens of people in high school gyms and armories while Orton was wrestling at Wrestlemania in front of tens of thousands of people.

AJ: “You were in WWE. Getting suspended for failing drug tests.” Orton ignores that and says if AJ is as good as he thinks he is, AJ would have been in the WWE years ago. Now that John Cena has gone off to Hollywood, AJ is WWE’s corporate b****. That’s enough for Owens, who immediately leaves as the fight is on. AJ knocks him back and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm, which dives straight into the RKO. That finish looked great and I could go for seeing this match.

Ricochet/Aleister Black/Usos vs. The Bar/Rusev/Shinsuke Nakamura

Cesaro blocks Ricochet’s early hurricanrana attempt so it’s a headscissors for two instead. An uppercut allows Sheamus to come in and Ricochet is already in trouble. Ricochet slips out of a gorilla press and brings Black in for the rapid strikes. It’s off to Ricochet vs. Jey but Rusev low bridges Jey to the floor, setting up a whip into the steps. Back in and Nakamura gets kicked down, drawing Sheamus in to break up the hot tag as we take a break.

We come back with Jey still in trouble as Rusev and Nakamura make a wish with the legs. Nakamura’s front facelock is broken up with a Samoan drop and it’s off to Jimmy to clean house. Everything breaks down and Cesaro gives Ricochet Swiss Death with some great height. A double superkick gives Jimmy the pin on Rusev at 10:28.

Rating: D+. The ending was good but there was only so much to get out of the match with so many people getting such a limited amount of time. You can see the four way title match from here, even if it makes very little sense when Rusev just took a fall from the champs. It makes no sense, but that’s never stopped WWE before.

Post match here’s Alexa Bliss to talk about how things are getting ready for Wrestlemania. After rolling her eyes at Kevin Owens for thinking he’s a better talk show host, Alexa brings up the Usos forfeiting against New Day last week. That was disgusting, so it’s going to be a four way for the titles at Wrestlemania with the Usos defending against everyone else in the match. The fight is on because the match we just saw meant nothing.

Here are the IIconics for a chat. The talk about how huge it’s going to be when the Usos have to be the champions before moving on to their important match. There are several ways to become champions so on Sunday, it’s a no brainer that they’ll win the titles and make Wrestlemania ICONIC!

We look back at Ronda Rousey, Becky Lynch and Charlotte being arrested last night. They’ll be out of jail in time for Sunday.

The Miz vs. Sanity

Courtesy of Shane McMahon. Before the match, Miz talks about how Wrestlemania means different things to different people. It’s going to make him the best Miz he can be because he’s fighting for his father and his family. Shane has a father too and that makes him a son of a b****. Shane McMahon comes out to watch and gets his own introduction before Eric Young (cleanshaven) jumps Miz to take us to a break.

Back with Miz doing what he can but Shane makes this Falls Count Anywhere. Shane also puts up the shot of him attacking Miz’s dad, which fires Miz up enough that he knocks Sanity into the crowd. Wolf gets slammed through a table for two with Young making the save. They fight tot he back with Dain getting rammed into an electrical box. Young takes a knee to the face and Miz rolls a garbage bucket into his face for the pin at 9:28.

Rating: D. Just let Sanity go already. They can barely make it onto the show and now they’re losing a three on one handicap match to The Miz: Hardcore Specialist? And all of this is for the sake of Miz vs. Shane? The match was nothing, and Miz winning was as much of a stretch as you can get.

Post match Miz sees Shane leave in his car. At the same time, a police car comes up and lets Becky Lynch out.

We recap Stephanie McMahon announcing the Winner Take All stipulation as well as the brawl involving the police.

Here’s Becky to stand on the announcers’ table for a chat. She talks about what a difference a year makes. A year ago she and Charlotte were best friends but then she slapped Charlotte in the face at Summerslam and everything changed. Now we’re coming up on 80,000 people watching the Queen, the Baddest Woman on the Planet and the Man going head to head to head. It started with a slap and it’s ending with her as a double champ.

Carmella/Nikki Cross/Asuka/Naomi/Hardys/R-Truth/Heavy Machinery vs. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville/Zelina Vega/Lana/Anderson and Gallows/EC3/Andrade/Shelton Benjamin

GOT ALL THAT??? Nikki and Zelina start things off and here’s Lacey Evans to interrupt. Nikki suplexes Vega into the corner and it’s off to EC3 vs. Matt with the latter hitting a Side Effect for two. Otis comes in for the Caterpillar and we take a break. Back with Naomi hitting a sitout jawbreaker on Mandy and a double tag bringing in R-Truth and Andrade. Truth sends him into the corner though and it’s time for a Dance Break as everything breaks down for the double DQ at 9:08.

Rating: D. This was a way to throw in as many people as you could into one match for the sake of pretending that they have a chance to actually win anything on Sunday. Asuka is a possibility, though at this point Lacey walking out at the end and winning in a surprise wouldn’t surprise me.

Post match the big fight is on with Asuka being the only one to not be thrown out.

Video on Seth Rollins vs. Brock Lesnar.

Samoa Joe vs. Ali

Non-title. Joe backs him into the corner to start for the snap jabs but gets dropkicked outside for the suicide dive. Back in and Ali avoids a charge in the corner, setting up the rolling X Factor. Ali’s 450 (not 054) misses and it’s the Koquina Clutch for the win at 2:24. I really hope that’s not all Ali gets to do anymore.

It’s time for the contract signing between Daniel Bryan and Kofi Kingston. Bryan and Rowan are already in the ring as New Day come out, complete with pancakes. The fans’ KOFI chants are shushed by Bryan because he’s here to educate the masses. The fans need to stop thinking that a few months of success make up for eleven years. Their life lesson: DO NOT BE COMPLACENT. Also, don’t be a bystander in your own lives like Kofi has been doing.

He’s sat and watched while New Day pushed him to the top. The Kofi chants keep going as Bryan rants his final lesson: don’t mistake a fad for reality. Bryan has been where Kofi is now but with YES chants instead of KOFI chants. The reality is that the people feed off of him because they are parasites. Bryan wants Kofi to soak this in because it’s as good as it’s ever going to get. Kofi grabs the mic and says it’s time to educate Bryan. He can claim to know what Kofi is feeling but it’s become clear that Bryan knows nothing about him.

Kofi watched Bryan become champion in two years but not as a bystander. Bryan hasn’t been through eleven years with no singles title matches because it’s all led here. Kofi sees Bryan trembling because Bryan knows Kofi is ready. The one common thread is that Bryan knows what Kofi is feeling and knows what’s coming. At Wrestlemania, Kofi becomes WWE Champion. Kofi signs and we’re set. Kofi sounded nervous, but the fire was there and that’s what mattered.

Overall Rating: D+. Some of the build was acceptable but the wrestling was so bad with very little from Smackdown looking important for Sunday. The ending was good with Bryan and Kofi finally getting to bring it but egads man did it take them long enough to get there? This Wrestlemania build has been so uneven and it’s really not helping things given how long the show is going to be. They needed something strong here and didn’t get that, but at least there were a few good parts here and there.

Results

Usos/Ricochet/Aleister Black b. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev/The Bar – Double superkick to Rusev

The Miz b. Sanity – Garbage bucket to Young’s head

Carmella/Nikki Cross/Asuka/Naomi/Hardys/R-Truth/Heavy Machinery vs. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville/Zelina Vega/Lana/Anderson and Gallows/EC3/Andrade/Shelton Benjamin went to a double DQ when everyone brawled

Samoa Joe b. Ali – Koquina Clutch

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: January 29, 2019
Location: Talking Stick Resort Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the final night in Phoenix and that means we should be hitting the ground running. Last night’s Raw wasn’t too bad and hopefully we get a good show out of the blue side. We need some #1 contenders since the Royal Rumble winners are going after the Raw Titles and with Elimination Chamber coming up, there are some free spots open. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Becky Lynch winning the Royal Rumble and then challenging Ronda Rousey last night on Raw.

Here’s Becky to open things up. A lot has been happening in Phoenix and while the first part of the Rumble didn’t go well, she didn’t fold after a loss like Rousey. She’s coming for the title and is very proud of moving from the pre-show of last year’s Wrestlemania to this year’s main event. The fans cut her off with a YOU DESERVE IT chant before Becky says that she saw doubt in Ronnie’s eyes last night and now she’s going to break Rousey’s arm at Wrestlemania. If Rousey doesn’t walk into Wrestlemania believing that, she’s going to be carried out knowing it.

That’s a great line but here’s Charlotte to interrupt. Charlotte is proud of Becky, who somehow won the Royal Rumble without being in it. Maybe Becky learned something from her after all, because Charlotte brought her to the main event. Becky slaps her in the face and leaves, only to have Charlotte chase her down for the attack. Charlotte whips her into the barricade and the bad knee gets banged up again. Agents break it up in a hurry. It’s pretty clear where this is going and that’s fine.

US Title: R-Truth vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura is defending. Before the match, R-Truth says he isn’t sure what happened at the Royal Rumble. He was rapping, and then he was taken out. However, he’s getting this as a consolation prize for not getting into the Rumble. I’ve heard worse ideas. Nakamura kicks him down at the bell and hits a reverse exploder suplex. Kinshasa is countered into a Lie Detector that slips off into something like an armdrag to send Nakamura to the floor.

Back with Nakamura hitting his running knee in the corner for two. The Landslide is countered into a small package…..to give Truth the pin and the title at 5:22! That was a rather strange ending as it seemed that they didn’t intend for it to end there, with Truth still wrestling after the pin. Not enough shown to rate, but it wasn’t much anyway.

Post match Rusev comes out, saying he won the title from Nakamura because it deserved better. If that’s the case, it’s not good enough for Truth either. A shove from Carmella to Lana is enough for a title match right now.

US Title: R-Truth vs. Rusev

Rusev is challenging and we’re joined in progress with R-Truth caught in a chinlock. Back up and R-Truth gets a quick rollup out of the corner for the pin to retain at 1:16.

Post match Nakamura jumps R-Truth again and Rusev joins in, because the solution to a popular face is to turn him heel all over again, just a few months after turning him face in the first place.

We recap the opening segment.

Becky leaves, saying she can’t get hurt any worse.

R-Truth is checked on but says he’s fine.

Rey Mysterio vs. Samoa Joe

Before the match, Zelina Vega comes out to say that Rey got her barred from the ring last week because he can’t focus on anything. That allows Andrade to come in from behind for the beatdown, including Three Amigos and the hammerlock DDT. No match.

The Good Brothers ask Rusev what was up with that. R-Truth just beat Rusev and Nakamura back to back and didn’t deserve that. Rusev says to mind their business back in catering. A tag match is set up and Nakamura comes in to accept the challenge. Rusev says they’ll team together one time and Nakamura better not screw him over.

Clip from the premiere of Fighting With My Family.

Here are Shane McMahon and the Miz for a chat. After sucking up to the fans a bit, Shane gives us a video tribute to their time as a team (that doesn’t make things any better). Back in the arena, Shane talks about how Miz has one major motivating factor in his entire life, so here’s Miz dad in a Miz jersey. Papa Miz says he loves his son and is proud of him, setting up a big hug. Now though, we need to find some new #1 contenders, which is what we’ll be seeing later tonight.

Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville are announcing their entrances into the Elimination Chamber match for the first ever Women’s Tag Team Titles. Mandy isn’t worried about Naomi and we see a clip from Tough Enough in 2015, with Naomi saying she wasn’t sure if the Tough Enough girls, including Mandy, were ready to take this. Mandy in particular was called out for being weak, and that’s why she wants to ruin Naomi. She was so crushed by what Naomi said that she developed a complex, to the point where her boyfriend left her. Naomi ruined her relationship so Mandy wants to end Naomi’s. That’s uh, rather over the top.

New Day vs. Usos vs. The Bar vs. Heavy Machinery

Elimination rules. Otis shoves people around to start and shrugs off Kofi’s kicks. Kofi tries a slide between the legs but Otis sits down on him for a smart move. Big E. comes in for some gyrating but Otis vibrates, setting up stereo shoulders. Neither can get an abdominal stretch so they try the shoulders again. It’s off to Knight for a double belly shot to the head and we take a break. Back with Corey giving us Mandy updates as Sheamus chinlocks Jimmy. That’s broken up and Jey comes in to clean house as the pace picks up.

Everyone else gets knocked off the apron in a hurry and there’s the running Umaga attack, only to have Jey sent outside. A powerbomb/top rope double stomp combination gets two on Sheamus with Cesaro making a save. Big E. Cactus Clotheslines Cesaro to the floor, leaving Kofi to take the Compactor for the elimination at 7:51. The Usos low bridge Heavy Machinery to the floor but Cesaro tags himself in to break up the double dive. Jimmy gets dropped onto the announcers’ table and we take a second break.

Back with Knight hitting a side slam on Cesaro but Sheamus breaks up a hot tag. As Corey and Saxton bicker over Mandy, the hot tag brings in Otis to clean house with some running splashes in the corner to Sheamus. Otis hits the Caterpillar on Sheamus but Jimmy tags himself in for a high crossbody to Knight. Sheamus tags himself in as well though and the Brogue Kick gets rid of Heavy Machinery at 16:52. Not that it matters though as a superkick into the Superfly Splash gives the Usos the pin and the title shot at 17:22.

Rating: B-. I’m hoping Heavy Machinery gets to be a team that actually goes somewhere on Smackdown, because this division is dying for some fresh blood. There’s no reason to believe that’s going to be the case, but it certainly needs to happen. The same three teams have been around forever now and that has to change at some point.

Here’s Daniel Bryan, sporting a black eye, to change the WWE climate. He asks who won on Sunday, and after waiting for the BECKY chants to die down, Bryan says the people and their children all won. Bryan is the planet’s champion and now someone has seen the light. That person came out for the greater good on Sunday, so here’s Rowan, carrying a bag over his shoulder.

Bryan praises Rowan as an enlightened man of the Earth and his intellectual peer. However, Bryan calls himself a hypocrite because he carries around this title. A trashcan is brought into the ring as Bryan calls the title a symbol of both excellence and excess. This title was made from a cow who did nothing wrong, and Bryan thinks she should be called Daisy. Bryan thinks Daisy had the ability to feel immense job, but she didn’t get to feel it long enough. The title is thrown into the title because it’s trash. Fans: “GOODBYE DAISY!”

Rowan pulls out the new title, which is rather….wood looking. The new title is made of hemp and carved from an oak, with the fans being more interested in the hemp. This brings out AJ Styles, who asks if Bryan smoked the prototype of that belt…..and here’s Randy Orton to cut them both off. Back from a break with Jeff Hardy in the ring and Mustafa Ali coming out.

Before he can say much, Samoa Joe comes out to say he’s here to put a champion to sleep. Jeff can pretend that he’s at an AA meeting and shut up while Joe is talking. Ali got choked out last week, and Joe wants to know how Wendy is doing. The fight is on as Bryan shouts that he’s going to be champion forever because no one is getting a title shot. HHH pops up on screen to announce Bryan defending the title in an Elimination Chamber match next month to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was an episode where the wrestling wasn’t the point (though it was fine) as most of the show was spent building up things for later. We already have two title matches set for Elimination Chamber and we’ll be seeing a tag match next week. I’m liking the direction things are going in, and if we get a great Elimination Chamber show out of it, so be it.

Results

R-Truth b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Small package

R-Truth b. Rusev – Rollup

Usos b. The Bar, Heavy Machinery and New Day – Superfly Splash to Sheamus

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event
Date: December 27, 2018
Host: Scott Stanford

It’s another one of these recap shows this week…and I need to be more specific on that one. In this case there isn’t any original wrestling, though that’s to be expected when they had two shows taped in a single night. That’s probably best given the circumstances and the show was such a breeze last week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Stanford welcomes us to the show in the studio, which isn’t something you see too often anymore.

From Raw.

Elias vs. Bobby Lashley

Miracle on 34^th Street Fight so there are weapons around the ring, including Christmas trees. Lashley fires off shoulders in the corner to start until they head outside with Elias hitting him with a Christmas tree. Elias knocks him down again and we take a break. Back with Lio Rush helping put Elias in trouble and Lashley loads up a present. They come back in with Lashley throwing him in an overhead belly to belly and pouring out….Legos. Well that’s different. Not unique as I saw it done earlier this year, but different indeed.

Lashley loads up a superplex that wouldn’t put Rollins on the Legos whatsoever so Rollins shoves him onto them instead. A blast from a fire extinguisher blinds Lashley and he knocks Rush off the apron through a table. Another shot to the ribs with the fire extinguisher sets up the old Al Snow bowling ball to the crotch spot. Elias hits him with a cello for the pin at 12:36.

Rating: C-. It’s a tradition and I can’t get mad about it, but am I supposed to believe that the feud is over now? I don’t see why I should, as the ladder match should have ended things but this kept going anyway. The brawling was fine, but it’s not like this means anything more than the previous matches. It’s nice for Elias to win though, even if almost no one is going to see it.

From Raw again.

Drew McIntyre vs. Finn Balor vs. Dolph Ziggler

Before the match, Drew talks about not being worried because he’s a mountain lion. If the other two get in his way, he’s not worried to kick their heads off. After he gets done with this, he’s moving on to the Royal Rumble so he can main event Wrestlemania (becoming the first entrant).

Drew cleans house to start and knocks both of them into the corner, only to charge into a shot to the face both times. McIntyre gets sent outside and both guys join him, where Drew sends them into various hard objects as we take a break. Back with Balor caught in an armbar and then suplexing Ziggler into an armbar of his own. The big headbutt sends Ziggler back to the floor but Balor knocks Drew down.

The Coup de Grace misses though and Balor rolls through, right into a Zig Zag for two. Balor knocks Ziggler outside again and tries another Coup de Grace, only to get crotched by Ziggler. A superkick drops McIntyre for two with Balor finally hitting the Coup de Grace for the save. McIntyre gets dropkicked to the floor, leaving Balor to hit the Coup de Grace to put Ziggler away at 11:39.

Rating: C-. I’m completely done with seeing these three fight and while it’s better that McIntyre didn’t take the fall, he shouldn’t be toiling with these people. He should be going after the World Title, but since that doesn’t exist and we CAN’T switch people from one show to another save or at designated times, this is as good as he gets. At least Balor got the pin, which is the second best option.

Post match McIntyre yells at Ziggler for ruining things and gets Zig Zagged. So yes, it’s still going and we’ll be seeing them fight again.

From Raw, again.

Women’s Title: Natalya vs. Ronda Rousey

Rousey is defending. Natalya spins out of an early wristlock attempt but Rousey takes her to the mat without much effort. An early side triangle choke attempt doesn’t quite work as Natalya slips out to grab a waistlock. That’s reversed into a bodyscissors for a bit until Ronda sends her outside in a heap. Ronda looks concerned about her friend as we take a break.

Back with Rousey in trouble and Natalya making things worth with a bodyscissors of her own. The chinlock doesn’t last long and gives Natalya two, with the kickout seeming to just annoy her. An abdominal stretch, with Natalya picking up a leg, makes things even worse for Rousey. Since that’s a hard position to hold, Natalya goes with a dropkick for two. A delayed suplex gets the same and Rousey looks shaken in the corner.

It’s a clothesline to get Rousey out of trouble and she unloads in the corner. A running knee gives Rousey two but Natalya is right back with a Sharpshooter attempt. That’s reversed into Piper’s Pit but Rousey takes too long, allowing Natalya to get the Sharpshooter. With Natalya trying to bring it back to the middle though, Rousey reverses into an armbar for the tap at 15:43, nearly letting go so fast that Natalya hadn’t tapped yet.

Rating: C+. Match of the night so far, but I didn’t quite buy Natalya as having a real change of winning. Maybe it’s her inability to be good with the emotional side of things or the fact that her push has focused on the memory of Jim Neidhart, but this wasn’t exactly thrilling. Rousey did a good job with showing that she didn’t want to hurt her friend, which could help set up an eventual rematch.

From Smackdown.

It’s time for MizTV, with the Best in the World trophy in the ring with him. Miz wastes no time in bringing out Shane McMahon as his guest. Shane says the new mandate from the company is to listen to the fans (less than 24 hours after Baron Corbin main evented Raw) so Miz brings up Paige being removed from power. That’s dropped in a hurry so Miz says there are four McMahon’s (three and a HHH actually) in power so Shane should have more time to form the best tag team ever with Miz.

See, this is all about Miz’s father. Miz lists off his resume and says he’s never heard his father say he’s proud of him. Then it was the Best in the World, where his father said that Shane was something else. Miz’s dad usually likes the high fliers so Miz was confused. Shane is the kind of guy who will put his life on the line and that got Miz’s attention. Miz needs to team with Shane to make his father proud and Shane should do it since this is the land of opportunity. Shane agrees, but says Miz better not screw him. They hold up the trophy to wrap things up. I’m scared of where this is going.

From Smackdown.

AJ Styles runs into Vince McMahon in the back, where Vince asks who AJ is. AJ lists off his monikers but Vince wants to know why AJ wasn’t wrestling in the house that he built. Vince wants the real AJ Styles and knows that AJ has a tormented soul. If AJ can harness his aggression, the animal inside him can get out. That’s what Vince wants to see so he slaps AJ, who beats Vince down. Agents break it up and Vince seems very happy.

From Smackdown, again.

US Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Rusev

Rusev is challenging. Nakamura, in a full body suit again, takes Rusev into the corner to start but gets taken down by some running clotheslines. An early triangle choke sends Rusev bailing to the floor and we take a break. Back with Nakamura grabbing a cravate to keep Rusev in trouble. A suplex gets Rusev out of trouble but Nakamura kicks him right back down. The stomps on the back of the neck have Rusev in more trouble and Nakamura grabs a chinlock. Rusev gets up and heads to the apron but gets kicked outside as we take another break.

Back again with Nakamura getting two off a knee to the head. The front facelock goes on for a few moments until Rusev throws him off without too much trouble. Rusev gets two off a spinwheel kick and another kick to the face gets the same. They head outside with Nakamura sending him into the steps and hitting a middle rope knee to the face back inside.

Kinshasa is countered with the Machka Kick for two but Nakamura grabs another triangle. This one lasts a bit longer until Rusev eventually throws him off. Rusev misses a charge into the post and a knee to the head gives Nakamura two. A lariat turns Nakamura inside out and another Machka Kick gives Rusev the pin and the title at 22:45.

Rating: B. It’s about nine months late but I’m that Rusev finally won the title back. He’s been over all year and has seemed to be going in circles for months now. Nakamura continues his near downward spiral after all that time doing nothing, despite being US Champion for five months. Good match here, but these two are going in opposite directions.

And from Raw to wrap things up.

Seth Rollins vs. Baron Corbin

The week after the McMahons promise everything is what the fans want, Baron is main eventing the show. Seth unloads on him in the corner to start and knocks Corbin outside for the suicide dive. Back in and it’s way too early for the Stomp so Corbin bails, earning another dive. Corbin finally sends him outside and into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Corbin hammering down on Rollins’ back and hitting the chinlock that you were all waiting to see. Rollins fights up and gets in a Blockbuster, followed by the Sling Blade. A Falcon Arrow gets two but the Stomp is countered into Deep Six. Rollins goes up top but the springboard clothesline is countered with a chokebreaker. That’s about it for Corbin’s offense though as Rollins kicks him in the ribs and hits the Stomp for the pin at 12:36.

Rating: C. And that’s completely it for Corbin, who will fade back into the midcard where he belongs and never darken the main event scene again right? That’s the logical path to take, so I’m sure it’s exactly what’s going to happen. The wrestling was fine but you could tell that everyone was spent and there isn’t much of a way around that. It was fine, but not exactly energized after the first few minutes.

Overall Rating: C. This show was a pretty good idea given how much else was going on last week. The timing couldn’t have gone worse for WWE with Raw and Smackdown being on the two big holidays and next week is going to go badly as well. I barely remembered a lot of this stuff so it was cool to get a fast paced reminder like this. Totally necessary show for once, which you don’t get to say that often around here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: December 25, 2018
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

Now this one could be interesting as we have a taped show airing on Christmas night. The big main event is Shinsuke Nakamura defending the United States Title against Rusev in a match that has been teased for a few weeks now. Other than that it’s going to be fallout from the McMahon’s announcement last week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here are R-Truth and Carmella as Santa and an elf. Truth says they’re here because the reindeer were getting tired. You know the reindeer: Dasher, Dancer, Tito, Jermaine. They start a seven second carol break but here’s Daniel Bryan to interrupt. He’s not having this when he wants to be at home with his family because this is NOT the real Santa Claus.

Bryan exposed the real AJ Styles and now he’ll reveal this man as a fraud. He talks about how everyone’s materialistic desires are causing environmental disaster, meaning there will be severe global warming that could melt the North Pole, meaning there will be NO MORE SANTA CLAUS. Bryan calls Truth’s career a joke, but Truth says he’ll take the title from him after winning the Royal Rumble.

That doesn’t work when Truth can’t even count to thirty. Truth insists that he can: “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven second dance break!” The beatdown is on in a hurry and Bryan puts him in a heel hook. Some stomps set up another heel hook and Truth is left laying. That’s how you make Bryan hated: have him beat up one of the purest faces on the show.

Mustafa Ali vs. Andrade Cien Almas

Almas dropkicks him into the corner at the bell and stomps away with more aggression than usual. A belly to back suplex has Ali in trouble but he snaps off a hurricanrana. That earns him a toss to the floor and we take a break. Back with Ali hitting the rolling X Factor for two but missing a superkick and getting elbowed in the face. Almas ties him up for the top rope double stomp but Ali punches away on the top. A shove knocks Almas off the top but he backflips onto his feet (cool). The running knees miss in the corner though and Ali hits his running DDT. The 054 finishes Almas at 8:35.

Rating: C. They packed a good little bit into this and Ali winning was the right (and obvious) ending. Ali is getting a big push and at some point he’s going to get a shot at Bryan in what should be a really good match. That being said though, what the heck are they doing with Almas? He’s got every tool you could need and the reputation to back them up but he can never win anything. I don’t get it, and I don’t think Almas does either.

Samoa Joe hopes Jeff Hardy had a good Christmas. Maybe Jeff could make up for some of the time that he spent ruining everything. Last week Jeff said he was a strong man but Joe saw something in his eyes. It was clear: Joe has become Jeff’s new addiction.

Usos/Good Brothers vs. The Bar/Sanity

New Day (with Big E. covered in oil) comes out to do commentary at their own table. Sheamus kicks Anderson in the ribs to start so Jey comes in to start on Cesaro’s arm. The fast tags continue with Dain coming in to drop Jimmy as we take a break. Back with Jimmy in a neck crank and Wolfe adding some stomps.

A standing moonsault gives Wolfe two and Sheamus comes back in for the chinlock. The comeback and hot tag don’t take long though as it’s off to Gallows for the house cleaning. Everything breaks down and a series of shots to the face is capped off with Gallows superkicking Cesaro into the Magic Killer for the pin at 7:35.

Rating: C-. Too many people and not enough time to make it work here but it was fine enough while it lasted. I’m glad to see the Good Brothers getting a bit of a push, just because they’re something fresh. This division is dying for new talent and it’s very nice to see someone getting a chance.

NXT callups video.

Some people congratulate Ali on his win. Shelton Benjamin welcomes him to the roster but Bryan jumps Ali from behind, saying he doesn’t deserve to be here.

It’s time for MizTV, with the Best in the World trophy in the ring with him. Miz wastes no time in bringing out Shane McMahon as his guest. Shane says the new mandate from the company is to listen to the fans (less than 24 hours after Baron Corbin main evented Raw) so Miz brings up Paige being removed from power. That’s dropped in a hurry so Miz says there are four McMahon’s (three and a HHH actually) in power so Shane should have more time to form the best tag team ever with Miz.

See, this is all about Miz’s father. Miz lists off his resume and says he’s never heard his father say he’s proud of him. Then it was the Best in the World, where his father said that Shane was something else. Miz’s dad usually likes the high fliers so Miz was confused. Shane is the kind of guy who will put his life on the line and that got Miz’s attention. Miz needs to team with Shane to make his father proud and Shane should do it since this is the land of opportunity. Shane agrees, but says Miz better not screw him. They hold up the trophy to wrap things up. I’m scared of where this is going.

Rusev is very happy because it’s Christmas, Rusev Day, and his birthday. That’s why tonight, we’re having a much more handsome United States Champion.

Jeff Hardy vs. Samoa Joe

Joe starts with the power but Jeff kicks him down, setting up Hardiac Arrest in the corner. One hard shot to the face drops Jeff again though and we take a break. Back with Joe knocking him down again and grabbing an abdominal stretch. The neck crank goes on for a bit and triggers the comeback with Jeff hitting the basement dropkick, followed by Whisper in the Wind for two. Joe gets sent outside for a running clothesline from the apron but Jeff starts driving knees into Joe’s head against the barricade and that’s a DQ at 8:20.

Rating: D+. This was an angle more than anything else and that’s fine. I’m curious where this is going and it seems to have lit a fire under Hardy that hasn’t been there in a long time. Joe is the perfect antagonist for something like this as his promos have been outstanding. I’m not sure who wins in the end or where it’s going, and that’s a nice issue to have.

Post match Jeff stays on him until the referee breaks it up. Joe chokes him out and gives him the crazy look.

Shinsuke Nakamura is going to retain the title.

Fighting With My Family trailer.

The Usos are in the back but Jey goes off on his own. Jimmy runs into Sonya Deville and Mandy Rose, who point at the mistletoe above them. Naomi shows up and throws a shoe to scare them off. Jimmy and Naomi kiss under the mistletoe.

US Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Rusev

Rusev is challenging. Nakamura, in a full body suit again, takes Rusev into the corner to start but gets taken down by some running clotheslines. An early triangle choke sends Rusev bailing to the floor and we take a break. Back with Nakamura grabbing a cravate to keep Rusev in trouble. A suplex gets Rusev out of trouble but Nakamura kicks him right back down. The stomps on the back of the neck have Rusev in more trouble and Nakamura grabs a chinlock. Rusev gets up and heads to the apron but gets kicked outside as we take another break.

Back again with Nakamura getting two off a knee to the head. The front facelock goes on for a few moments until Rusev throws him off without too much trouble. Rusev gets two off a spinwheel kick and another kick to the face gets the same. They head outside with Nakamura sending him into the steps and hitting a middle rope knee to the face back inside.

Kinshasa is countered with the Machka Kick for two but Nakamura grabs another triangle. This one lasts a bit longer until Rusev eventually throws him off. Rusev misses a charge into the post and a knee to the head gives Nakamura two. A lariat turns Nakamura inside out and another Machka Kick gives Rusev the pin and the title at 22:45.

Rating: B. It’s about nine months late but I’m that Rusev finally won the title back. He’s been over all year and has seemed to be going in circles for months now. Nakamura continues his near downward spiral after all that time doing nothing, despite being US Champion for five months. Good match here, but these two are going in opposite directions.

AJ Styles runs into Vince McMahon in the back, where Vince asks who AJ is. AJ lists off his monikers but Vince wants to know why AJ wasn’t wrestling in the house that he built. Vince wants the real AJ Styles and knows that AJ has a tormented soul. If AJ can harness his aggression, the animal inside him can get out. That’s what Vince wants to see so he slaps AJ, who beats Vince down. Agents break it up and Vince seems very happy.

Overall Rating: C+. Another good show here, even if the audience is going to be minimal again. It won’t be as bad as Raw from last night but this is still not a show that a lot of people are going to see. The wrestling was good though and I like where some of the stories are going. Again, it’s almost remarkable how much more together Smackdown seems than Raw, which has been the case for months now.

Results

Mustafa Ali b. Andrade Cien Almas – 054

Usos/Good Brothers b. The Bar/Sanity – Magic Killer to Cesaro

Samoa Joe b. Jeff Hardy via DQ when Hardy attacked on the floor

Rusev b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Machka Kick

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Starrcade 2018
Date: November 25, 2018
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

This is something that could range from interesting to head scratching. Last night, WWE held a big house show featuring stars from both shows under the name of Starrcade. The show ran about three and a half hours and tonight we’re seeing a one hour version with some special moments and matches selected. Let’s get to it.

Note that I was in the arena for the show so this will be my second time seeing it. You can check out a full set of results right here.

We open with Elias playing a little song. He knows it can’t get better than having him here but he’s willing to try with a special guest. That would be Ric Flair, who puts Elias over as a big deal. Elias thinks they need to sing a son off his album and asks people to silence their cell phones, but here are Nia Jax, Mickie James, Tamina and Alicia Fox to cut them off. Nia says they want to walk with him and Flair is rather pleased.

Flair calls them all beautiful and Elias sings some of Elias’ Words. Even Flair gets in a few lines and dances a bit until Nia screeches out a line, much to the fans’ annoyance. Fox starts dancing but Elias calms them down. Elias tells Nia to shut her mouth, but he’s got some friends to do it for him. This was HEAVILY edited as the full version ran nearly twenty minutes as opposed to the ten it got here.

Nia Jax/Tamina/Mickie James/Alicia Fox vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks/Ember Moon/Dana Brooke

Ember and Mickie start things off with both going for the arm until Ember hits the spinning middle rope crossbody for two. Brooke comes in for the handspring elbow and the cartwheel moonsault for a near fall of her own. It’s off to Bayley to a nice reaction, sending Mickie over to Tamina for some hiding. Tamina comes in properly and crushes Bayley in the corner before sending her to the apron. That earns Tamina a Stunner over the middle rope but Nia sneaks in to run Bayley over for two.

The rapid fire tags in the corner allow Fox to grab a chinlock before Jax does the same. Bayley sends Jax into her partners though and that’s enough for the hot tag to Banks. Everything breaks down and Moon hits the Eclipse on Tamina, followed by Brooke’s high crossbody to Mickie’s knees. Jax gets taken down and Bayley drops a top rope elbow to the back, leaving Fox to get caught in the Bank Statement for the tap at 6:53.

Rating: C-. Perfectly fine opener here that didn’t overstay its welcome and played off a fun opening segment. Banks and Bayley were very over with the live crowd and anything that involved Jax taking a beating was getting a strong reaction. Now if only Bayley and Banks were allowed to do anything interesting, or even different, from week to week.

Samoa Joe says the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Some might say Joe has been insane, but others might think AJ has been because AJ has taken beating after beating. The real definition of insanity is walking into a cage with Joe and expecting to walk out at all.

Here’s Miz for MizTV, starting off with a discussion of some great Starrcade matches from years gone by. One such match was for the US Title, which will be on the line tonight. That includes Rey Mysterio, who comes out in a neck brace thanks to Randy Orton on Smackdown and Shinsuke Nakamura, who looks weird in all blue. Miz asks Rey what it means for Rey to be here and we hear some Starrcade legends name dropping.

Rey wants to take a piece of history with him, like the US Title. Nakamura doesn’t quite get the idea of Starrcade but eventually clarifies that he doesn’t care about the show or Rey. He loved watching Orton go evil on Rey and Miz agrees, so Rey tells him to shut up. Rey invites Nakamura to get evil right now but Miz runs his mouth again, this time for a distraction so Nakamura can jump Rey to start us off.

US Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Rey Mysterio

Nakamura is defending and rips the neck brace off to start fast with the knees to the neck. Kinshasa is countered into a rollup for two but Nakamura blasts him down again. Rey is put on the corner for the running knee to the ribs but kicks Nakamura down. That sets up a missed dive which takes out Miz instead and I think you know where this is going. The springboard seated senton drops Nakamura, only to have Miz come in for the DQ at 2:11.

Post match the beatdown is on until Rusev makes the save. Lana is out with him and wants a tag match right now.

Rusev/Rey Mysterio vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/The Miz

The villains tease leaving to start but get thrown back in so we can start properly. Nakamura breaks up an early 619 to Miz and cranks on a cravate to Rey’s bad neck. Rey gets sent outside for some cheap shots from Miz and it’s right back to the neck cranking. A kick to the face finally gets Rey out of trouble and an enziguri is enough for the hot tag to Rusev.

Everything breaks down in a hurry and there’s the Machka Kick for two on Miz with Nakamura making the save. Another distraction lets Miz hit the Skull Crushing Finale for two but Rey is right back up with a double 619. The jumping superkick is enough to put Miz away at 6:05.

Rating: C. All it was missing was Alfred Hayes and Sean Mooney calling it a Coliseum Video exclusive. This was a rather random tag match that worked just fine, even though it didn’t get a ton of time. There’s nothing wrong with that of course and the wrestling worked perfectly fine for what it was. I don’t need to see either of them team together again, but at least it was fun.

Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles

In a cage. Joe goes right at him to start and drives AJ into the corner but some kicks to the leg have Joe in trouble. AJ starts driving him into the corner as well, this time for some shoulders to the ribs. Back up and Joe faceplants him before starting the whips into the cage, which you had to know were coming. A running forearm drives AJ into the cage and a back elbow gets two.

It’s too early for Joe to leave so Joe slams him out of the corner instead. The corner enziguri rocks AJ again for two but Joe misses a charge into the cage to give AJ a shot. AJ’s moonsault out of the corner into the reverse DDT gets two, even with Joe’s foot on the ropes because that doesn’t matter in a cage match. Well not in this one at least as that rule changes depending on how the referee is feeling at the time.

Joe ducks the Phenomenal Forearm and plants AJ again for a double knockdown. It’s time to fight next to the door but Joe misses another charge and gets caught with a tornado DDT. That’s good for two and AJ is sent face first into the cage again, setting up the backsplash for two. AJ charges into a Rock Bottom out of the corner but Joe takes too much time going for the door, allowing AJ to get in a chop block. The Calf Crusher makes Joe tap at 11:54.

Rating: B-. Good match here, but were you expecting anything else from these two? They could have a good match in their sleep so having them do it inside a cage isn’t exactly shocking. AJ winning makes complete sense as it’s not like this match means much in the first place and he’s won almost everything in the whole feud now anyway. As solid as these two are against each other, Joe really needs to move on to someone else, just to avoid losing any more.

Overall Rating: C+. Well it was fun while it lasted, but the whole thing ran three and a half hours as opposed to this one only getting fifty seven minutes. Given that it’s the WWE Network, you would think they could just air the full show, especially since they were already filming the thing anyway. What we got was good, but there was a lot of other rather entertaining stuff that was left out for reasons I still don’t quite get. Anyway, fun little show, but nothing worth going out of your way to see.

Results

Bayley/Sasha Banks/Dana Brooke/Ember Moon b. Tamina/Nia Jax/Alicia Fox/Mickie James – Bank Statement to Fox

Rey Mysterio b. Shinsuke Nakamura via DQ when Miz interfered

Rusev/Rey Mysterio b. Shinsuke Nakamura/The Miz – Jumping superkick to Miz

AJ Styles b. Samoa Joe – Calf Crusher

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

There’s now a Kickoff Show match for Crown Jewel with Rusev challenging Shinsuke Nakamura.  Just in case a week with a three and a half hour pay per view on Sunday, three hours of Raw on Monday, two and a half hours on Tuesday, four hours on Wednesday and four more hours on Friday wasn’t enough.

 

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/last-minute-one-title-match-announced-crown-jewel/

Main Event
Date: October 18, 2018
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Percy Watson, Nigel McGuinness

This is an interesting week as Raw was a run of the mill show but Smackdown reached one of the biggest milestones you can achieve. Now in theory that should mean that Smackdown gets some more time on this show over Raw, but stranger things have happened around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Rhyno vs. Konnor

They start with the power struggle and an exchange of chops goes nowhere. A short arm clothesline gives Konnor one and the front facelock goes on. Back up and a collision puts both guys down again but it’s Rhyno up first with a flying shoulder. Konnor kicks him in the face for two but misses a big elbow. Rhyno can’t hit a powerslam though and it’s an STO to give Konnor the pin at 5:12.

Rating: D+. I get that they’re trying to rehabilitate the Ascension a little bit and that’s a fine idea. The problem is that it’s not a practical one. You can’t have a team be that worthless for so many years and then just have them start winning without some kind of change. Maybe it’s a face turn, maybe it’s a gimmick overhaul or maybe it’s something else, but the fans aren’t going to buy them suddenly winning matches after being so pathetic for so long.

Quick look at the opening to Smackdown 1000 and the Evolution reunion.

Video on the Bella Twins turning on Ronda Rousey.

From Raw.

Here’s Rousey to say that the Bellas at least owe her an explanation. Cue the Bellas with Nikki saying the people paid to see them and not her. They don’t owe her an explanation because this is show business and not show friends. Ronda disrespected them and disregarded everything the two of them have done for this business. It disgusts them to see Rousey as the face of the women’s revolution because Nikki deserves to be champion.

They made the term Divas mean something and children look up to her. If that’s the case, the future of America is worse than I thought. The Women’s Title wouldn’t exist without the Divas Title. What is she going to do? Try to break their arms? Fans: “YES! YES! YES!” Ronda says she tried and thought they were friends, but now she knows they’re just a pair of do nothing Bellas.

They were there because of the men they were with and at Evolution, their arms are coming off. The only thing that is going to stop her is a referee and that hasn’t gone well in the past. Brie says the two of them have knocked down more doors in a week than Rousey ever has.

Rousey lists off the places she’s dominated before getting in the line of the promo with “the only door you ever broke down was to John Cena’s bedroom.” BIG gasp on that one. Rousey wants to fight now but Nikki just does her dance as security comes out to get rid of Ronda. They get taken down as well and Ronda calls the Bellas (now gone) out here again.

This was REALLY bad (save for that Cena line) with terrible delivery of awful lines and a story that no one with a brain is going to accept as realistic. Everyone came off looking worse here and it went on a good ten minutes longer than necessary. But hey, I’m sure TMZ will be talking about it.

From Smackdown.

Here’s Edge (with Tony Chimel doing his intro for old times sake), with the shoulder length hair again, for the Cutting Edge. This has always felt like his show because this is where some of his greatest achievements took place. He cashed in Money in the Bank on the Undertaker and had a No DQ match against Eddie Guerrero that people still talk to him about to this day. He even married and divorced Vickie Guerrero. However, he’s been watching the show for the last few weeks and now he needs to be Smackdown’s moral compass.

Therefore, his first guest is Becky Lynch, who Edge sees a lot of himself in. Becky says she modeled her career after him so that means a lot. Edge talks about not being someone who was supposed to succeed and having to scratch and claw their way to the top, just like Becky. The thing is though, Becky didn’t make the right choice.

If there was a friendship that got in Edge’s way, he crushed it, leaving a trail of burnt bridges. That’s not the right way, no matter how many titles you win. The path that Becky is on will lead to her sitting alone, looking at all of her titles on the wall, by herself. The bigger problem is she won’t even like herself.

Becky says it’s true that she doesn’t like herself because she loves herself. She tells Edge to get out of the champ’s ring and make sure you don’t hurt your neck again going through the ropes. Cue Charlotte to say that it’s not cool to go there. The fight is on with agents and referees having to break it up in short order.

Also from Smackdown.

World Cup Of Wrestling Qualifying Match: Rey Mysterio vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Non-title. This is Rey’s first singles match for WWE in four and a half years. Nakamura takes him down to start and drops a knee for an early one. A front facelock has Rey in some more trouble but he’s right back out with a headscissors. Rey knocks him outside for the sliding splash underneath the bottom rope. Back in and Rey gets caught in the Tree of Woe and we take a break.

We come back with Rey hitting a top rope seated senton and a top rope hurricanrana getting two. Nakamura kicks him in the head but misses Kinshasa, allowing Rey to headscissor him again. After Nakamura crawls over to the ropes, it’s a 619 into the springboard frog splash for the pin at 10:10.

Rating: C-. This was watchable enough but some of the spots weren’t exactly hitting and Nakamura was his usually uninspired self. Mysterio looked good in spots but it certainly wasn’t a match that would make you thrilled to see him back. It’s more like he’s lost some weight and come back after not being around for a bit. I’m glad he’s back, but it wasn’t exactly anything major.

For a change, here’s something from Smackdown.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. The Bar

New Day is defending and since they’re wrestling, Booker T. and Jerry Lawler are running New Day’s commentary booth. Woods headscissors Sheamus down for a basement dropkick and an early near fall as we cut to Lawler and Booker for more analysis than the regular team gives in a week. Cesaro takes over on the arm and it’s off to Sheamus for a double elbow as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus missing a charge into the corner and the hot tag off to Big E. Cesaro comes in as well and gets Rock Bottomed out of the corner, landing on his head. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick and gets speared through the ropes, leaving Woods to hit a Shining Wizard for two on Cesaro. Back in and the Midnight Hour is broken up but Cesaro makes a blind tag. Big E. hits the Big Ending on Sheamus but gets Neutralized for two with Woods making the save as we take a second break in less than seven minutes.

Back again with Big E. missing a charge and getting caught in a powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination for two with Kofi Kingston breaking up the cover due to feet on the ropes. The Bar loads up the announcers’ table but here’s Big Show to chokeslam Kofi through it instead, leaving Sheamus to Brogue Kick Big E. for the pin and the titles at 13:38.

Rating: C. This was the Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff “do something to make it memorable” title change and that’s fine. The tag division means nothing on this show so switching the titles doesn’t change a thing anyway. Hopefully the Usos can get back in there now as they’re more than overdue to be in the title scene again.

From Raw.

We go to the bowels of some building where Undertaker and Kane talk about the lack of respect. Michaels didn’t stay in the shadows out of respect but out of fear. They will unleash everything on DX for the first time ever and all of Shawn’s fears will be realized. HHH can crawl back to the board room and Shawn can hide in retirement. DX had three words for them, so they have three words for DX: Rest In Peace.

Zack Ryder/No Way Jose vs. Revival

Jose even has the full conga line with him. Dawson and Jose start and that means some dancing. Some arm cranking has Dawson in trouble and it’s off to Ryder for all of ten seconds. Wilder comes in and gets punched down but Dawson offers a distraction so Wilder can pull Jose down by the afro. To be fair it’s kind of Jose’s fault for having such large hair. Back from a break with Jose still in trouble as Wilder slaps on a chinlock.

Dawson comes back in and drops a knee for two but Jose elbows him in the face. The hot tag brings in Ryder to clean house and he slips out of a double suplex into a double neckbreaker. Revival heads to the floor and gets dropkicked, leaving Jose to high crossbody Wilder for two. Dawson makes a blind tag though and it’s the Shatter Machine for the pin on Jose at 9:58.

Rating: D+. I liked this a little more than I was expecting to with Jose getting to show off what he could do. That being said, there wasn’t much you could do with two jobbers against a good team like Revival. Of course you don’t get to know that much about Revival being good because there’s no time to get them on TV more than once every…oh few months more often than not.

From Raw again.

Shield vs. Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler/Braun Strowman

Shield does their entrance through the crowd after using the stage earlier. Strowman tells Ziggler to start the match and show him something so it’s Dolph vs. Rollins to get things going. Ziggler takes him down with a headlock, saying he could do this all day. Ambrose and Rollins have an accidental collision and the ensuing argument lets Strowman run everyone over. Reigns gets dropped as well and we take a break.

Back with McIntyre still in control of Reigns and Ziggler coming in for the chinlock. Reigns shrugs him off but it’s McIntyre coming in and taking a clothesline. Strowman cuts him off with a corner splash, only to have McIntyre tag himself in and stomp away. That’s not cool with Strowman, who tags himself in and yells at McIntyre a bit. A missed charge in the corner lets Reigns muscle him up for the Samoan drop (not as effective since we saw the same spot earlier in the night) but McIntyre and Ziggler knock Rollins and Ambrose to the floor.

The Claymore/Zig Zag combination gets two with Rollins and Ambrose making the save. The hot tag brings in Rollins, who clotheslines McIntyre and tags Ambrose in to start cleaning house. Strowman blocks the double suicide dives but Reigns comes off the apron with the Superman Punch. Back in and Dean rolls McIntyre up for two with Ziggler making the save. Dirty Deeds hits McIntyre but the referee takes forever to cover, allowing Ziggler to shove Rollins into the cover for the break.

That means another fight and Ambrose tries Dirty Deeds but Rollins shoves him away. Ziggler shoves them together and gets two off the Zig Zag on Ambrose. Reigns breaks up the Claymore/Zig Zag combination and Strowman goes shoulder first into the post. McIntyre Claymores Strowman by mistake (he seemed to miss but they moved the camera just in time to cover it) and a spear cuts McIntyre down. The TripleBomb finishes Ziggler at 14:34.

Rating: C+. This was nowhere near what they did last week and that’s probably because it’s the third time this match has taken place in about ten days. Ambrose and Rollins’ issues can take a backseat for another week, but it’s pretty clear that this isn’t over yet. That being said, the interesting thing here is Drew, who seems all but poised for the big turn after kicking Strowman in the face.

Post match Strowman powerslams Ziggler but eats a Claymore (and a great one at that), allowing McIntyre to leave to end the show. To quote JR: “Oh I like this. I like this a lot.”

Overall Rating: D+. So yeah, it’s not the most surprising thing in the world that the 1000^th episode of the second biggest wrestling show in the world was treated like any other show. We did however get more of the Bella Twins, because that’s how WWE works. It was interesting that World Cup got almost no attention save for the one World Cup qualifying match, as WWE continues to try to hide the fact that the show is actually taking place.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown 1000
Date: October 16, 2018
Location: Capital One Arena, Washington DC
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

This is a milestone show as we’re hitting the 1000^th episode in the show’s history. The big deal here is a variety of cameos and appearances from some of the biggest stars the show has ever seen. I’m not sure what to expect here, but WWE’s record with important shows like this has been hit and miss. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

One more note: between each match and coming back from breaks, we get classic stills from Smackdown’s history. That’s a very nice touch.

We open with a long montage of the show’s history, which is of course awesome. WWE does these things better than anyone else and this is no exception.

Here are R-Truth and Carmella for Truth TV, which is also celebrating its 1000^th episode. Carmella explains things to him so Truth pauses for a dance break. Since their guest needs no introduction, let’s have another dance break! That brings them to their guest….who of course is Stephanie McMahon. She soaks in some booing and brags about her time as Smackdown General Manager but here’s Shane McMahon to a much stronger introduction. Stephanie: “How come I don’t ever get any love?”

Shane actually sounds a little choked up as he thanks the fans for being here for 1000 episode. Stephanie: “And just like that, they buy it.” After a bickering session, Stephanie says we should be starting a little bigger than Truth TV, which gets a Truth TV chant. And now, here’s Vince McMahon to really interrupt. The YES chants start up but Stephanie says that he’s got his hearing aid in tonight. Vince gets straight to the point: he wants a dance break! Everyone starts dancing and that’s that. How nice of Stephanie to rip the show we’re celebrating and then dance because she’s Stephanie and no one can stay mad at her.

Usos vs. Daniel Bryan/AJ Styles

Oh hey the Usos are still alive. Jey and Bryan start things off with Jimmy coming in to take Daniel down with a double elbow. It’s quickly off to AJ for some kicks to the leg but Jey stomps him down in the corner. The Calf Crusher goes on Jey and Daniel gets the YES Lock on Jimmy but a rope is grabbed to send us to a break. Back with Bryan kicking away and moonsaulting over Jimmy, setting up the suicide dive onto Jey. There’s a missile dropkick to Jimmy and the YES Kicks have him in even more trouble. Everything breaks down and Bryan forearms AJ by mistake, setting up a double superkick to pin Bryan at 9:08.

Rating: C. This was angle advancement instead of a match and that’s perfectly fine. Bryan and Styles aren’t the kind of people to hate each other so building tension over wins and losses is the most logical path to a match that they have. It’s also nice to give the Usos a win as they’ve barely been a factor in a long time now.

Vickie Guerrero, Johnny Ace and Teddy Long join Paige for some dancing.

Here’s Evolution for their Smackdown debut. HHH talks about the show reaching 1000 episodes by evolving over the years. Flair says he’s more used to that 10,000 number but seems happy to be here. Orton says it was a great way to start his career with these men and he’s never stopped evolving. Now HHH runs the show, Flair lives vicariously through his daughter and Batista spends more time in a makeup chair than in the ring but Orton is still cementing his legacy.

Batista says he’s nervous but he’s going to enjoy his time, including ignoring what Orton said. The last place he wants to be is here with a microphone in his hand. He’s come up with four things to say though. First, he wanted to be here because this is 1000 shows. Second, we’re here in his hometown, where he bounced in clubs and saw more violence than he could ever imagine but now he’s made it.

Third, he’s here for the people, no matter what they said to him over the years because he worked hard for them every night. Finally, and definitely not the least, is the three other members of Evolution. This was an army of World Champions that will never be assembled again.

Orton was special the moment everyone laid eyes on him. Flair is…..well he’s Ric Flair and that sums it all up. Batista to Flair: “You keep that thing in your pants.” And they’re all cracking up. Finally there’s HHH, who has done everything there is to do in this business…..except beat Batista. Tensions are teased but everyone hugs, with HHH giving a very long stare at Batista. This was the Batista show and you can tell the Hollywood stuff has helped him quite a bit.

World Cup Of Wrestling Qualifying Match: The Miz vs. Rusev

Neither gets an entrance and Kurt Angle is on commentary. Aiden English runs down for a distraction and Miz grabs a rollup for the pin at 41 seconds. The spoils of a dance break I guess.

Post match Rusev destroys English.

In the back Curt Hawkins and Edge give us a quick Edgehead reunion.

Here’s Edge (with Tony Chimel doing his intro for old times sake), with the shoulder length hair again, for the Cutting Edge. This has always felt like his show because this is where some of his greatest achievements took place. He cashed in Money in the Bank on the Undertaker and had a No DQ match against Eddie Guerrero that people still talk to him about to this day. He even married and divorced Vickie Guerrero. However, he’s been watching the show for the last few weeks and now he needs to be Smackdown’s moral compass.

Therefore, his first guest is Becky Lynch, who Edge sees a lot of himself in. Becky says she modeled her career after him so that means a lot. Edge talks about not being someone who was supposed to succeed and having to scratch and claw their way to the top, just like Becky. The thing is though, Becky didn’t make the right choice.

If there was a friendship that got in Edge’s way, he crushed it, leaving a trail of burnt bridges. That’s not the right way, no matter how many titles you win. The path that Becky is on will lead to her sitting alone, looking at all of her titles on the wall, by herself. The bigger problem is she won’t even like herself.

Becky says it’s true that she doesn’t like herself because she loves herself. She tells Edge to get out of the champ’s ring and make sure you don’t hurt your neck again going through the ropes. Cue Charlotte to say that it’s not cool to go there. The fight is on with agents and referees having to break it up in short order.

Rey Mysterio is back and runs into Jeff Hardy.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. The Bar

New Day is defending and since they’re wrestling, Booker T. and Jerry Lawler are running New Day’s commentary booth. Woods headscissors Sheamus down for a basement dropkick and an early near fall as we cut to Lawler and Booker for more analysis than the regular team gives in a week. Cesaro takes over on the arm and it’s off to Sheamus for a double elbow as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus missing a charge into the corner and the hot tag off to Big E. Cesaro comes in as well and gets Rock Bottomed out of the corner, landing on his head. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick and gets speared through the ropes, leaving Woods to hit a Shining Wizard for two on Cesaro. Back in and the Midnight Hour is broken up but Cesaro makes a blind tag. Big E. hits the Big Ending on Sheamus but gets Neutralized for two with Woods making the save as we take a second break in less than seven minutes.

Back again with Big E. missing a charge and getting caught in a powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination for two with Kofi Kingston breaking up the cover due to feet on the ropes. The Bar loads up the announcers’ table but here’s Big Show to chokeslam Kofi through it instead, leaving Sheamus to Brogue Kick Big E. for the pin and the titles at 13:38.

Rating: C. This was the Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff “do something to make it memorable” title change and that’s fine. The tag division means nothing on this show so switching the titles doesn’t change a thing anyway. Hopefully the Usos can get back in there now as they’re more than overdue to be in the title scene again.

John Cena sends in a video about the history of Smackdown creating new superstars. There is no John Cena without Smackdown and he owes the fans a great deal of thanks.

World Cup Of Wrestling Qualifying Match: Rey Mysterio vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Non-title and this is Rey’s first singles match for WWE in four and a half years. Nakamura takes him down to start and drops a knee for an early one. A front facelock has Rey in some more trouble but he’s right back out with a headscissors. Rey knocks him outside for the sliding splash underneath the bottom rope. Back in and Rey gets caught in the Tree of Woe and we take a break.

We come back with Rey hitting a top rope seated senton and a top rope hurricanrana getting two. Nakamura kicks him in the head but misses Kinshasa, allowing Rey to headscissor him again. After Nakamura crawls over to the ropes, it’s a 619 into the springboard frog splash for the pin at 10:10.

Rating: C-. This was watchable enough but some of the spots weren’t exactly hitting and Nakamura was his usually uninspired self. Mysterio looked good in spots but it certainly wasn’t a match that would make you thrilled to see him back. It’s more like he’s lost some weight and come back after not being around for a bit. I’m glad he’s back, but it wasn’t exactly anything major.

Post match here’s Undertaker to say “At Crown Jewel, I have three worlds for DX: Rest In Peace” to end the show. His music stopped for less than thirty seconds.

Overall Rating: D+. So we’re going to put this one in the “miss” category as it pretty much stopped being a historical show in the last 45 minutes and turned into a regular episode of the show with Booker T. and Jerry Lawler popping in for about sixty seconds of commentary. The long segments took up way too much of a two hour show (Evolution and the opening segment added up to a half hour) and the rest was the Cutting Edge and focus on Crown Jewel. I could go for a Best Of Smackdown show, but this was trying to have both a regular show and a nostalgia show and neither won.

Results

Usos b. Daniel Bryan/AJ Styles – Double superkick to Bryan

The Miz b Rusev – Rollup

The Bar b. New Day – Brogue Kick to Big E.

Rey Mysterio b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Springboard frog splash

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6