Smackdown – July 8, 2022: What A Bad Show

Smackdown
Date: July 8, 2022
Location: Dickie’s Arena, Fort Worth, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We’re done with Money In The Bank and have just over three weeks before Summerslam, but because this is WWE, we need to build towards Clash At The Castle too. This week will feature Drew McIntyre vs. Sheamus for the shot at Roman Reigns at the show in Wales in September. Let’s get to it.

Here is Money In The Bank if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Theory losing the US Title but then becoming Mr. Money In The Bank later in the night.

Here is the Bloodline to get things going. After their full entrance, Theory pops up on the stage, with Cole asking if he’s going to cash in Money In The Bank now. No Cole, he isn’t. After a break (meaning nothing of note has happened in nearly fifteen minutes on the air), Roman Reigns talks about how happy he is to be here, including saying that he’s hearing some mixed reactions from the fans.

As long as God wakes him up every day, he can handle anything. Now he’s here and seeing the Usos and his Special Counsel….and the Counsel looks like this. Heyman looks terrified but Reigns says it’s ok, even as he hands Heyman the microphone and asks what’s wrong. Heyman says that he loves his Tribal Chief but the problem is Brock Lesnar.

We hear about the things that Lesnar has done over the years and Heyman is worried that we’re going to have to see the savage Reigns. Putting Lesnar down for ten seconds in Lesnar’s final title shot is going to be near impossible and Reigns is going to have to do everything he can. Heyman believes in him and takes a knee, but here is Theory (who left the arena and is now coming back) to take a lap around the ring. And nothing else. This was every Reigns vs. Lesnar promo you’ve ever heard warmed up in the microwave with WWE hoping there is a bit of flavor left in it.

Video on the Viking Raiders.

Viking Raiders vs. Jinder Mahal/Shanky

Gee, I wonder if Shanky is going to dance and Jinder will get in trouble because of it. The bell rings and Shanky goes to the floor to dance, leaving Jinder to get beaten down and hit with the powerbomb for the fast pin at 1:08.

Post match the Vikings beat up Jinder again but New Day comes out. Yes the Vikings have beaten them up in recent weeks, but those were unsanctioned beatings. Therefore, New Day has cards for OFFICIAL A** BEATINGS and charges the ring. The brawl is on with New Day being destroyed in short order.

We look back at Happy Corbin jumping Pat McAfee and beating him down after Money In The Bank went off the air.

Here is Gunther for an Intercontinental Title open challenge. Ludvig Kaiser doesn’t think there is anyone worthy of this shot while Gunther says it is foolish to defend a title against someone when you don’t know they’re coming. Cue Shinsuke Nakamura to say that if Gunther isn’t ready, he’ll face Kaiser. Of note: Happy Corbin is on commentary to prove he can do what Pat McAfee can do. As Nakamura comes out, Corbin and Graves get on the announcers’ table to play their air guitars as Cole looks like he’s ready to jump off a building.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Ludvig Kaiser

Nakamura takes him down but goes to yell at Gunther, allowing Kaiser to get in a cheap shot as we take a break thirty seconds in. Back with Nakamura kicking Kaiser down as Corbin talks about football. Kinshasa finishes for Nakamura at 5:35. Nowhere near enough shown to rate but this should set up the Summerslam title match.

Post match Nakamura leaves and Gunther yells at Kaiser, who gets chopped as punishment.

We recap Liv Morgan’s wild ride at Money In The Bank, resulting in her winning the Smackdown Women’s Title.

Here is Liv Morgan for a chat with Michael Cole, but first we get the YOU DESERVE IT. Morgan is rather emotional and talks about how she is going to fight to keep the title. Cue Natalya to interrupt and says she wants the title but Ronda Rousey (limping badly) interrupts as well. After sounding like she forgot where we are, she offers to kick the “credit” (yes credit) out of Natalya. That earns her a cheap shot but Natalya gets chased off as we take a break.

Ronda Rousey vs. Natalya

Rousey is in what passes for street clothes and kicks Natalya outside. Natalya teases limping out but Rousey is right back to kick her in the leg. The ankle lock on the apron sets up an ankle lock in the ring to make Natalya tap at 2:18. What in the world was the point of that?

Here is Max Dupree to introduce his Maximum Male Models tennis collection, with Mace and Mansoor modeling the gear and Dupree listing off various descriptions. And yes, they are taking applications.

We look at Theory taking a lap around the ring earlier.

Theory is ready to cash in on either Roman Reigns or Brock Lesnar at Summerslam. With Theory gone, Madcap Moss comes up to say he’d love to shut Theory up.

Aliyah/Lacey Evans vs. Shotzi/Shayna Baszler

Lacey comes to the arena, doesn’t get the reception she wants, and then does it again to a louder reaction. Then she does it a third time just to make sure. Hold on again as Lacey grabs a mic and says that was a disappointing reaction. The fans know who she is because she poured her heart out on live TV and she gets that kind of reaction? She’s an American hero and calls a bunch of the fans fat. Lacey goes to leave but stops to punch out Aliyah. No match, with Shotzi and Baszler never appearing.

Usos vs. Los Lotharios

Champions Contenders match and we’re joined in progress with Jimmy being sent into Angel’s boots. Los Lotharios get the Usos knocked outside and switch places a few times to amp up the frustration. Back in and Humberto gets shoved off the top, setting up a superkick. The 1D finishes Humberto at 2:02 shown.

Post match the Usos are shown the Street Profits getting a shoulder up at Money In The Bank. There is going to be a rematch at Summerslam, with rumors of a special guest referee. The Usos are happy with that, depending on who it is….which we don’t know yet.

Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre

The winner goes on to get the title shot at Clash At The Castle. Hold on though as Sheamus is coughing a lot and thinks he might have a touch of the Covids. He can’t wrestle tonight because he needs to get tested, so Butch can take his place.

Drew McIntyre vs. Butch

Butch goes for the arm to start but Drew slips out. The Claymore finishes for McIntyre at 1:28.

Post match Drew beats up Ridge Holland and holds off Sheamus with the sword. He cuts the ropes, ala Wrestlemania, for a bonus, to end the show. Ignore the sword bending.

Overall Rating: D. I really wasn’t feeling this show tonight, as it felt like it was thrown together at the last minute with a bunch of short matches and little that actually mattered. Heck the New Day even acknowledged that they were basically doing the same thing they had done for the last few weeks. None of the matches got any time and it was mainly a bunch of short action and talking, most of which meant nothing. Throw in the bait and switch main event and this was a pretty horrible night.

Results
Viking Raiders b. Jinder Mahal/Shanky – Powerbomb to Mahal
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Ludvig Kaiser – Kinshasa
Ronda Rousey b. Natalya – Ankle lock
Usos b. Los Lotharios – 1D to Humberto
Drew McIntyre b. Butch – Claymore

 

 

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Smackdown – June 24, 2022: They’re Running Low

Smackdown
Date: June 24, 2022
Location: Moody Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We are eight days away from Money In The Bank and the ladder matches need to be filled in. This includes a women’s qualifying match tonight, but odds are some of the focus is going to be on what Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. You know, because we need to build towards Summerslam before Money In The Bank. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Roman Reigns retaining the World Title over Riddle last week. After the match, Brock Lesnar returned and took Reigns out, setting up their Summerslam rematch.

Here is Drew McIntyre to get things going. He’s looking forward to Money In The Bank but he’s looking even more forward to Summerslam, because he is going to cash in on whoever wins between Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar. Cue the Brawling Brutes to interrupt, with Sheamus saying Drew is off his bleeding rocker if he thinks he is going to be the one to cash in at Summerslam. Sheamus mocks Drew for having someone cash in on him, which Sheamus did to Reigns before.

Cue Paul Heyman to interrupt, complete with an annoyed looking Adam Pearce behind him. Heyman laughs at the idea of cashing in on Brock Lesnar because Reigns is retaining his title. However, even Heyman knows that Reigns might be in danger of a cash in after the Last Man Standing match because Reigns could be a bit vulnerable after such a match. That’s why Pearce has a special announcement: after some strenuous negotiations, neither Sheamus nor McIntyre will be in the Money In The Bank ladder match, because neither of them won. Therefore, they do have a way in though: teaming together to beat the Usos tonight.

I really don’t see this going well, as Sheamus and Drew winning changes nothing other than having the Usos get beaten. Also, it doesn’t exactly make me think that Sheamus or Drew are winning the briefcase, but it does make me think that it’s going to be teased for weeks until Summerslam.

Sami Zayn is very happy with what just happened and is ready to get rid of Drew McIntyre and Sheamus. Then he can win the briefcase and….protect Reigns.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Sami Zayn vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura kicks away to start and hits a sliding German suplex to drop Zayn again. There’s the running kick to the face for two but Sami knocks him outside for a not very near countout. Back in and they come crashing off the top as we take a break. We come back with Nakamura catching him on the middle rope and pulling him down. Zayn is fine enough to grab a nasty Michinoku Driver for two more but he misses something off the top.

The middle rope knee to the back of the neck gives Nakamura two but the threat of Kinshasa sends Zayn outside. Kinshasa connects outside with Zayn having to beat the count back inside. That means Kinshasa can be set up back inside but Zayn catches him with a quick Helluva Kick for the pin at 9:49.

Rating: C. You could tell that Zayn isn’t what he used to be due to the age and injuries, but he has changed his style enough to make this work. The countout teases are a good enough way to go and it’s a surprise to see Zayn win in the end. He’s a more interesting choice for the ladder match right now and I could go for seeing the creative stuff he busts out for the thing.

Here are New Day and Jinder Mahal/Shanky for a dance contest. Why you ask? According to New Day, because no one wants to see this match again and new Day doesn’t do rematches. I’ll let you laugh at that as Shanky dances to Woods’ trombone music and then shoves Mahal away for not liking the dancing. Cue the Viking Raiders’ graphics on screen and then charge in from behind for the big beatdown. They’re rather vicious here and it is working for them.

Sonya Deville storms into Adam Pearce’s office and yells about not being used since she has been back on Smackdown. Raquel Rodriguez sure has been though, which is why Pearce puts Deville in a match with Rodriguez….and Lacey Evans. Next.

Lacey Evans/Raquel Rodriguez vs. Sonya Deville

Shayna Baszler and Xia Li come to the ring with Sonya. Evans drop toeholds her down but Sonya is back with a shot to the knee. Another shot drops Evans so she gets over for the tag to Rodriguez. The Tejana Bomb connects to knock Sonya silly and it’s the Woman’s Right to give Evans the pin at 3:03.

Rating: D. So what were they going for here? Pearce getting revenge on someone who was a villain? I’m not sure why they needed to pick that story up a few months later but hopefully this is it. Having Shayna and Li as Deville’s lackeys isn’t much of an idea, but WWE does love to put women together out of nowhere. Evans and Rodriguez beat her up pretty easily here and I’m not sure I get what they were trying.

Post match the beatdown is on but Evans and Rodriguez clean house.

The Street Profits walk through the back and run into Los Lotharios with a woman, Drew Gulak exercising and Madcap Moss standing there. Dawkins has a joke for him and it doesn’t quite work.

Here is Natalya, dressed as Ronda Rousey (complete with a lot of eye makeup) and pushing a baby stroller. Natalya talks about how she had Rousey THIS CLOSE to tapping out in the Sharpshooter so Rousey should just hand over the title now and get back to taking care of her baby.

Cue Rousey to say she didn’t recognize Natalya without her rack hanging out. Rousey says she didn’t mutilate her body to conform to some beauty standard and isn’t giving Natalya the title now. No one has cared about Natalya before because she has no charisma and brags so much about being a Hart. The closest Natalya has become to being a star in the main event is dressing like Rousey. The brawl is on with Natalya hitting her with the stroller to escape.

This segment summed up the problem with this entire feud: Natalya is not a threat to Rousey and never will be, because Natalya is not interesting enough to be seen on that level. Her entire selling point was that she ALMOST made a tired Rousey tap to a Sharpshooter after Rousey’s match. Oh and she dressed up like Rousey to prove….something. Bad segment to push a bad feud, with Rousey getting in a few zingers to keep it a few steps above dreadful.

Sheamus and Drew McIntyre are ready for the Usos.

Intercontinental Title: Ricochet vs. Gunther

Gunther, with Ludvig Kaiser, is defending. A boot to the face drops Ricochet early and we hit the half crab. Make that an STF (with Cole calling it a Crossface and McAfee making an Attitude Adjustment reference, neither of which is really appropriate). Ricochet makes the rope and flips out of a German suplex, setting up a jumping knee to the face. The clothesline sets up the chop to send Ricochet flying though and now the release German suplex connects. The shotgun dropkick sets up the powerbomb to retain the title at 3:05.

Rating: C. This was just a step above a squash and that is what it should have been. Gunther is flat out better than Ricochet at the moment and there is no reason to have Gunther be in trouble here. Ricochet gets his rematch and loses in an even more decisive fashion and that is all he needed to do. Gunther can move on with the title and Ricochet can (hopefully) move on to something else.

Sami Zayn reassures Paul Heyman that he would never cash in Money In The Bank on Roman Reigns. Maybe on Brock Lesnar….but Zayn realizes he shouldn’t have said that and leaves from a glaring Heyman.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Tamina vs. Shotzi

Tamina throws her around to start, setting up a powerslam. Shotzi gets in a shot of her own though and an enziguri rocks Tamina again. A superkick out of the air gives Tamina two more with Shotzi getting her foot in the vicinity of the ropes. Shotzi manages a whip into the post and Never Wake Up (a leg trap DDT) finishes Tamina at 2:33.

We look back at the Viking Raiders’ return.

The Raiders are tired of being forgotten and are here to run through anyone who gets in their way.

Max Dupri’s new models aren’t here tonight because they didn’t get their dressing room demands. Adam Pearce says next week, which Dupri says means they can titillate the juices of the masses. I’m curious to see where they’re going, but the fact that Dupri is still appearing every week gives me some hope for his future.

Pat McAfee stands on the announcers’ table to talk about how Happy Corbin threw a fit last week. We see Madcap Moss beating Corbin last week and McAfee laughing at Corbin as a result. McAfee talks about how much he loves his job and how alive he felt the first time he was in the Thunderdome. He loves talking to the millions (AND MILLIONS) so the challenge is thrown out for Summerslam. McAfee is a better promo than most of the roster.

Usos vs. Drew McIntyre/Sheamus

Non-title and Sheamus and McIntyre have to win to stay in Money In The Bank. The Street Profits join commentary as Sheamus throws Jimmy down to start. Jimmy takes Sheamus into the corner though and it’s Jey coming in for a shot to the face. That doesn’t last long as Sheamus is back with the ten forearms to the chest. Hold on though as Drew goes outside to go after Butch. Sheamus goes outside and brawls with Drew, allowing the Usos to take them down as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus punching his way out of trouble but Jimmy comes in with a superkick. The running hip attack in the corner is cut off with a knee to the face though and the hot tag brings in McIntyre to clean house. Some superkicks drop Drew though and the Superfly Splash gets two with Sheamus making the save. Everything breaks down and Ridge Holland has to hold Butch back. Cue Sami Zayn to go after Drew but Dawkins cuts him off. The Profits and the Uso argue until Drew flip dives onto all four of them. Back in and Jey manages a superkick before the Claymore finishes Jey at 11:12.

Rating: C+. Nice match, the champs lose, and we are right back where we were when this show came on the air. The Street Profits didn’t even cost the Usos the match so I’m not sure who good this does. This felt like they needed a main event and added something in to fill in a spot but this is something that belonged on a house show rather than Smackdown.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this show as it felt like they ran out of ideas before Money In The Bank and moved on to the Summerslam build. They have announced the Summerslam main event and are teasing another match with McAfee vs. Corbin but Money In The Bank is still over a week away. That is something WWE has done before and it rarely works, though it isn’t like there is much that can be set up for Money In The Bank anyway. Just get to it already before they run even further out of ideas, which was pretty obvious tonight.

Results
Sami Zayn b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Helluva Kick
Lacey Evans/Raquel Rodriguez b. Sonya Deville – Woman’s Right
Gunther b. Ricochet – Powerbomb
Shotzi b. Tamina – Never Wake Up
Sheamus/Drew McIntyre b. Usos – Claymore to Jey

 

 

 

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Smackdown – June 3, 2022: I Guess This Is Somewhere?

Smackdown
Date: June 3, 2022
Location: Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

It’s the to home show for Hell In A Cell and there are no Smackdown matches set for the event. That isn’t a good sign, but it is also familiar ground for the Cell show. Hopefully they can do something this week, as there are a lot of people who need to be on the card. That has never stopped WWE before but let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is New Day to get things going and they are fired up after their win last week over the Brawling Brutes. After making fun of the Brawling Brutes name, the two of them thank Drew McIntyre for helping them out last week. Cue McIntyre, who had a lot of fun taking the Brutes down last week. McIntyre talks about Big E and promises to keep sending “those pictures to keep you going”.

We get to the point though, as McIntyre wants to take the WWE Universal Title from Roman Reigns at Clash At The Castle in September. After Kofi isn’t sure how to respond to McIntyre naming himself Big D, the team has a present for him. They pull out a box, which contains….a Big D kilt! Cue the Brutes, with Sheamus saying they didn’t have a chance to prepare last week so we should do it again. Butch charges the ring and I think we’re ready to go.

New Day vs. Brawling Brutes

We’re joined in progress with Sheamus pounding on Woods and handing it off to Butch. Woods jawbreaks his way to freedom though and hands it off to Kofi to take Butch down in the corner. Kofi starts kicking away but it’s Sheamus hitting an ax handle to cut him off. A missed charge sends Sheamus shoulder first into the post though and Kofi hits the Boom Drop. Everything breaks down and it’s the double dives to allow New Day to pose on the announcers’ table as we take a break.

Back with Holland hitting a powerslam to set up Sheamus’ top rope knee to the back for two. Sheamus goes after Drew for some reason, allowing Kofi to hit a Meteora. The hot tag brings in McIntyre to clean house, including a neckbreaker and belly to belly. Sheamus breaks up the Claymore so Woods comes back in as everything breaks down. The Brogue Kick hits McIntyre and the Bitter End gives Butch the pin on Woods at 11:00.

Rating: C+. It was more fun last week, mainly because we aren’t going to some kind of trilogy match between these teams. It’s another case of WWE not knowing how to just drop a story already, but maybe this is something that helps shore up the pay per view card. At least Butch got a pin, having finally overcome the small package worries.

We look at Riddle/Shinsuke Nakamura beating the Usos (via DQ) on Raw to earn a title shot tonight.

Riddle and Nakamura are ready to fight for the titles tonight. We look at the Bloodline taking out Randy Orton, so Riddle dedicates the win to him.

Max Dupri interrupts Adam Pearce and talks about his modeling agency going world wide. He has already found his first client….who we’ll meet next week.

We look back at Shanky’s dancing costing himself and Jinder Mahal a tag match to Los Lotharios last week.

Humberto vs. Jinder Mahal

In the back, Mahal tells Shanky not to dance so Shanky dances behind him instead. Mahal gets knocked into the corner to start but he comes back with a backbreaker. Humberto misses a kick though and gets superkicked, allowing Shanky to dance. The distraction lets Humberto get out of the Khallas and roll him up for no cover. Humberto yells at Shanky, allowing Mahal to grab a rollup for the pin at 1:49.

Post match Shanky dances at Samantha Irvin, who dances back.

Shotzi vs. Natalya vs. Shayna Baszler vs. Raquel Rodriguez vs. Aliyah vs. Xia Li

The winner gets a future shot at Ronda Rousey for the Smackdown Women’s Title but hang on because Aliyah isn’t here. We cut to the locker room where Aliyah can’t get out. Holds on though as here is Aliyah to go after Shotzi, making that a complete waste of time. Everything breaks down to start with Aliyah being being sent into the barricade.

Baszler Kirifuda Clutches Rodriguez but they fall outside. Li fights out of the Sharpshooter and it’s time to strike it out. Shotzi DDTs Baszler and we hit the parade of strikes. Rodriguez suplexes Shotzi onto Natalya, setting up the corkscrew Vader Bomb. There’s the Tejana Bomb to Shotzi but Baszler jumps Rodriguez, allowing Natalya to steal the pin and the title shot at 4:14.

Rating: C-. Well that was short. What else is there to say about this? Natalya is just about the only option they had if they weren’t going with Baszler, so enjoy that sweet Natalya charisma that we have come to know and tolerate for years now. I’m sure the match will be fine, but this big mess of an all over the place match wasn’t a great way to get there.

Post match Natalya and Rousey have a staredown.

We look back at Happy Corbin injuring Madcap Moss three weeks ago.

Corbin says Moss better be looking for his job back.

Lacey Evans is back next week.

Madcap Moss is here, coming out of an ambulance.

Here is Madcap Moss to recap what Happy Corbin did to him. What matters is that Madcap Moss is gone because the person that let Corbin do that to him is buried. Moss wants to give Corbin a beating so get out here right now. Cue Corbin, who thinks Moss is betting for his job back. Moss still wants to fight so Corbin says we can, but not tonight. Cue Adam Pearce to make the match for right now.

Happy Corbin vs. Madcap Moss

Corbin bails to the floor to start before coming in for a cheap shot. They head to the floor with Moss knocking him to the timekeepers’ area. Corbin comes back with a chair but Moss takes it away and hits Corbin for the DQ at 1:30.

Post match Moss unloads with the chair shots to Corbin and wraps it around Corbin’s neck but agents break it up.

The Usos dedicate their match to Roman Reigns.

Adam Pearce makes Happy Corbin vs. Madcap Moss in a No Holds Barred match for Sunday.

Ricochet is ready to defend the Intercontinental Title against Gunther next week.

Gunther is going to win the title.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Riddle

Nakamura/Riddle are challenging. Nakamura kicks Jey to start and hands it off to Riddle for a fisherman’s DDT. A blind tag lets Jimmy come in for a double spinebuster but Riddle kicks him in the head. The double tag brings in Nakamura and Jey with the former kicking away. The sliding German suplex drops Jey and the running knee gives Riddle two.

Riddle gets knocked off the top though and a double superkick gets two on Riddle, with Nakamura making the save. Nakamura’s running knee on the floor hits steps though and the jumping kick to the knee keeps him down. That’s enough for Nakamura to be taken to the back so Riddle knocks both Usos down and we take a break.

Back with Riddle getting whipped hard into the buckle but Jey loading up an RKO is too far. Some suplexes set up some Brotons to put the Usos on the floor and there’s the springboard Floating Bro. There’s the hanging DDT to Jimmy but the RKO is broken up. The pop up Samoan drop gives Jimmy two but Riddle is back with the super RKO….as Roman Reigns’ music plays. That’s enough of a distraction to let Jey hit the Superfly Splash for the pin to retain at 13:21.

Rating: C+. Riddle was trying here and the Reigns deal likely sets up their title match, assuming that thing ever happens. Reigns needs someone to go after the title and Riddle is as good as anyone else. Nakamura/Riddle was never going to be the next big team so using them as a stepping stone to Riddle vs. Reigns makes sense.

Sami Zayn cued up the music (Reigns never appeared) and Riddle is stunned. Zayn comes out to celebrate so Riddle goes after all three of them to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It is becoming very obvious again that WWE doesn’t care about what happens on this show, and a lot of that continues to be due to the lack of Reigns. While Riddle can help some by being set up as the next challenger, it is only going to get them so far. Between that and the focuses on Natalya, Dancing Shanky and MORE MOSS VS. CORBIN, this made for a very long two hours and not in a good way.

Results
Brawling Brutes b. New Day/Drew McIntyre – Bitter End to Woods
Jinder Mahal b. Humberto – Rollup
Natalya b. Raquel Rodriguez, Xia Li, Aliyah, Shotzi and Shayna Baszler – Tejana Bomb to Shotzi
Happy Corbin b. Madcap Moss via DQ when Moss used a chair
Usos b. Riddle/Shinsuke Nakamura – Superfly Splash to Riddle

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – May 30, 2022: In A Word, Frustrating

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 30, 2022
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Corey Graves, Jimmy Smith

It’s the go home show for Hell In A Cell and there are four matches announced for the card. I’m not sure what they are waiting for with adding on more matches, but you have to think that something takes place this week. However, it is also Memorial Day, meaning there is a good chance that very little is going to happen here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Becky Lynch to get things going. She hasn’t been out here to start things off in a bit and she knows the people here are glad she has lost everything. Lynch doesn’t care what these people think, because she collects enemies. We flash back to Money in the Bank 2020, with Asuka winning the briefcase. Then Lynch handed her the Raw Women’s Title because she had to go become a mother.

That made Asuka a selfish monster….and here is Asuka to interrupt. She mocks Becky for being a baby and promises to win the title on Sunday. Cue Bianca Belair, who isn’t happy with Asuka kicking her last week and isn’t too fond of Becky either. She is sure the title isn’t going anywhere though and the fight is on, with Asuka hip attacking Becky to the floor, leaving the other two in the ring.

Asuka vs. Bianca Belair

Non-title and Becky Lynch is on commentary. They flip and jump over each other to start until Asuka kicks her in the ribs. Back up and Belair gets to the middle rope where she, as always, tells Asuka what she can kiss. After the backflip over Asuka, Belair gets pulled down for a kneebar, followed by a guillotine choke. That’s reversed into a suplex for two but another suplex sends both of them crashing to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Asuka hitting a German suplex into the running hip attack for two. Belair catches her on top though, only to moonsault backwards, allowing Asuka to hit a middle rope dropkick for two. A missed charge in the corner lets Belair try the KOD, but Asuka flips out and lands on her feet. Asuka comes up holding her knee though (Becky is VERY pleased) and needs a breather on the floor. Back in and a quick knee gives Asuka two but the Asuka Lock is countered. Asuka tries a rollup, which is quickly stacked up to give Belair the pin at 13:05.

Rating: C+. This match and the last segment let me figure out what I don’t care for with Belair. Her matches are usually good (this one was) and she can do things no one else can do, but none of her matches feel natural. Every time she does something it feels like it’s “ok, time to do this” or “this is where I do thing #3”. Between the kiss it deal or the moonsault off the ropes or the dance or whatever, it feels like she is walking step by step through a script that was planned in advance. It feels robotic and very rarely does she shake that off.

Post match Becky comes in and lays them both out.

Mysterios/Ezekiel vs. Kevin Owens/Alpha Academy

Gable headlocks Rey to start but can’t hold onto him, allowing Dominik to come in instead. Dominik takes Gable to the corner and runs the ropes for a wristdrag. Everything breaks down and a triple dropkick sends Otis outside. Gable knocks Dominik off the ropes though and a whip sends him into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Rey dropkicking Owens to break up a Sharpshooter, allowing the tag to Ezekiel. Everything breaks down and Ezekiel cleans house with some Stinger Splashes. A spinning powerbomb gets two on Gable and a hurricanrana sets up a missed 610 on Owens. That leaves Owens to superkick Gable by mistake and it’s a double 619 to rock Gable again. Ezekiel’s spinning suplex finishes Gable at 8:32.

Rating: C+. Pretty nice action here and that shouldn’t be a surprise. Owens losing it more and more over Ezekiel is some nice stuff, even if it makes me want to watch Bobby Heenan trying to find out who Giant Machine really is. I’m still not caring about the Mysterios all that much, but at least it’s better than watching them deal with Veer Mahaan.

Post match Owens is ticked and wrecks the announcers’ table as the Academy isn’t pleased.

We recap Cody Rhodes vs. Seth Rollins.

Here is Cody for a chat. Cody talks about having the potential to do great things and how his father knew how to see that potential in others. His father told him about the potential in Seth Rollins and then one day Cody was facing Rollins at Wrestlemania. That made Cody nervous, because he couldn’t come back with a loss. Cody didn’t lose there and he didn’t lose at Wrestlemania Backlash.

Now they’re going to the Cell and Cody is going to be able to lose all of his self control because Rollins will be locked inside with a man who wants to hurt him. Cue Rollins to interrupt through the crowd to say he just doesn’t like Cody. All Rollins hears in his sleep is CODY CODY CODY and he can’t stand it any longer.

Six years ago, Cody left WWE and found some friends who wanted to tear down everything Rollins built. Now Cody is back, but he doesn’t get to tear down Rollins’ kingdom. You don’t get to take a sledgehammer to Rollins’ throne and then try to take it from him. On Sunday, Rollins is going to end him and we can wake up from this American nightmare. Cody asks what is stopping him from coming after Seth right now.

Rollins seems to have reality set in on him and Cody takes the jacket off. Rollins comes to the barricade but turns away, only to have Cody come a charging. They fight back to ringside with Cody driving him through the barricade. Referees break it up but they keep fighting, then referees break it up but they keep fighting. They’re finally split apart and kept apart as the fans approve. As they should, as this was the kind of personal brawl that they needed. Rollins now has given a reason to hate Cody and that opens things up a lot more. Good stuff.

Doudrop vs. Alexa Bliss

Nikki Ash is here with Doudrop. Bliss gets powered into the corner and taken down for an early two. Back up and Bliss headscissors her into the corner, setting up a some basement dropkicks. Doudrop runs her over again but misses a Vader Bomb, allowing Bliss to go up, take out Ash, and hit Twisted Bliss for the pin at 3:17.

Rating: D+. I can’t get over how ridiculous the Nikki visuals are, as you have Bliss in the standard (or close enough) gear, Doudrop as the monster, and Ash still in the superhero gear. The match itself was your usual big vs. little match, which only kind of works most of the time. I don’t quite buy Bliss pinning Doudrop after a splash but it isn’t like Doudrop has meant anything in months.

Last week, MVP beat Bobby Lashley and made the Lashley vs. Omos match on Sunday into a handicap match.

It’s time for MizTV, because it feels like we have one of these every week. Miz plugs the season premiere of MizTV next week but here are the Street Profits to interrupt. They talk about Hell in a Cell on Sunday and hype up the card but realize they need to ask Miz about the show. Miz is ready to answer but IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT HE THINKS. Miz puts his hand up and they mock him asking what that means.

Then the 24/7 goons come running in and the Profits get involved as well. It turns into a multi person brawl until Tamina hits a Samoan drop on Dana Brooke to win the title. Tamina picks Akira Tozawa up and kisses him, only to get taken down in a backslide to give Tozawa the pin and the title. So what in the world was the original point of this segment again?

We recap Mustafa Ali’s issues since he came back to WWE as he tries to win the US Title.

Mustafa Ali vs. Ciampa

Theory is on commentary and if Ali wins, he gets a US Title shot. Ali sends him into the corner to start but Ciampa is right back with a knee to the face for two. Ciampa elbows him down and grabs a chinlock before stomping on Ali’s head. The second chinlock doesn’t last as long as Ali is back up with a kick to the face to send Ciampa outside. There’s a suicide dive, with Ali almost going head first into the announcers’ table. Ali goes up but Theory pulls him off the ropes for the DQ at 3:24.

Rating: C-. Well at least Ciampa didn’t get pinned again. I know it’s false hope but my goodness I was hoping he could do SOMETHING on the show. Instead, he might as well be in the corner to my left, because he is little more than a background guy while the real stars are out there. Nothing match, but at least Ali and Theory are getting to do something.

Post match, Theory lays out Ali and says we’ll do the title match right now. Oh and Ciampa disappeared because he means nothing.

US Title: Theory vs. Mustafa Ali

Theory is defending and Ali pulls himself up, only to get thrown back down. A whip into the corner rocks Ali again but he manages a superkick. Ali goes up but gets crotched, setting up the A Town Down to retain the title at 1:43.

Hold on though as here is Adam Pearce to say let’s run it back on Sunday.

Riddle and Shinsuke Nakamura dub themselves the Bronin and Ronin and promise to take the Tag Team Titles.

Usos vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Riddle

Non-title but a CHAMPIONS CONTENDERS match. Jey gets taken into the wrong corner to start and it’s time for alternating kicks to put him in trouble. That’s broken up and it’s off to Jimmy for a Samoan drop. Jey comes back in to whip Riddle hard into the corner but another kick gets Riddle out of trouble. Nakamura comes back in with Good Vibrations to Jimmy. There’s the sliding German suplex but Jey comes back in to cut Nakamura off. The Superfly Splash gives Jey two and we take a break.

Back with Nakamura getting over to Riddle for the hot tag but the hanging DDT is broken up. Nakamura tags himself back in as Riddle is being suplexed to the floor and it’s Kinshasa to Jey. Jimmy makes a save to leave everyone down but it’s Riddle back in with the snap powerslams. Now the hanging DDT can plant Jey, only to have Jimmy hit Riddle with the scooter for the DQ at 11:35.

Rating: C+. Thirty minutes or so? Is that how long it was since they did THE EXACT SAME ENDING? You have a match for a title shot and someone gets disqualified to earn said title shot and they do it TWICE IN THREE MATCHES??? That is another level of lame booking and I can’t even be shocked that they did it. The match itself was good as you probably expected, but that ending was so dumb that it took away any interest I had in what they were doing.

Post match Nakamura breaks up the double Superfly Splash and Riddle hits the super RKO on Jimmy.

Mustafa Ali is ready for his title match on Sunday. He keeps getting knocked down but he is going keep getting back up and win the US Title in his hometown. Then Theory jumps him again and takes a selfie with the title over Ali. Normally this would set up a big title win for Ali, but I’d hope you aren’t that gullible.

Hell In A Cell rundown, including Judgment Day vs. AJ Styles/Finn Balor/Liv Morgan.

Video on Memorial Day.

Liv Morgan vs. Rhea Ripley

Morgan has been standing in the ring for about ten minutes now, following Ali’s promo, the pay per view rundown, a commercial and the Memorial Day video. Ripley had it better, having only stood there for the commercial and Memorial Day video. Morgan gets knocked into the corner to start but comes back with a choke. Some rams into the corner can’t break it up so Ripley drops backwards onto her for the real break. Ripley takes it to the floor and puts Liv on the apron, only to get caught in a hurricanrana. That isn’t working for Morgan either though as she gets dropped on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Morgan in trouble as Damian Priest and AJ Styles are at ringside. Ripley yells about how Liv dragged her down to her level as I would like to again point out YOU WERE A TEAM FOR A MONTH AND A HALF! STOP ACTING LIKE IT WAS SOMETHING! Morgan fights up and sends her outside for a high crossbody but Priest trips Morgan up. Styles cuts that off and Morgan reverses Riptide into a Backstabber for the pin at 10:08.

Rating: C-. Sure why not. You have Ripley, who is FINALLY getting pushed as the monster that she should be and she loses to perennial loser Liv Morgan to set up a six person tag on Sunday. Morgan even overcomes the interference to win to make it even worse. I’m sure Ripley will be fine, but my goodness stop giving people losses like this and the acting like they mean nothing.

Post match Priest takes out Styles. Cue Finn Balor to take him out, allowing Morgan to dropkick Ripley so our plucky band of heroes can stand tall.

We look at the Cody/Seth brawl again.

And now, a contract signing because yes, this is how we’re ending the show. Bobby Lashley, Omos and MVP all come to the ring with Adam Pearce in charge. MVP promises to destroy Lashley in the Cell and says there is no Almighty Era without him. This Sunday, it ends once and for all. MVP signs and he hands it to Omos to do the same. Lashley says he never needed MVP but MVP says he’s talking too much so sign the contract.

The contract is signed and Pearce goes to wrap it up but MVP says we’re not waiting for Sunday. Security comes in and are cleared out just as fast…and here is Cedric Alexander to help take Lashley down. That’s fine with Lashley, who drops Alexander but gets kicked in the face by Omos. A table is set up in the corner and Omos loads up the powerslam, only to have Lashley slip out and spear him through it to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a great example of a show where the wrestling itself worked but everything else dragged it down. Having two matches end in DQ to set up title matches, with a title match squeezed in between, is hardly thought out planning and they kept the dumb rolling by having Morgan beat Ripley. If you want to do something with Morgan, send out ANYONE other than Ripley for her to beat. Were Sonya Deville and Carmella busy?

That being said, there were good parts of the show, including the Cody vs. Seth brawl and a fair few of the matches. The problem, as usual, was most of that last hour, as it is clear that they are front loading the show and ending it with the lamer stuff. That makes for a very long time to wrap things up and that was the case again here. While there was good wrestling, it was surrounded by stuff that was either annoying or just bad, and that makes for a pretty frustrating show.

Results
Bianca Belair b. Asuka – Rollup
Mysterios/Ezekiel b. Kevin Owens/Alpha Academy – Twisting suplex to Gable
Alexa Bliss b. Doudrop – Twisted Bliss
Mustafa Ali b. Ciampa via DQ when Theory interfered
Theory b. Mustafa Ali – A Town Down
Riddle/Shinsuke Nakamura b. Usos via DQ when Jimmy used the scooter
Liv Morgan b. Rhea Ripley – Backstabber

 

 

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Smackdown – May 27, 2022: It’s Next Week

Smackdown
Date: May 27, 2022
Location: Simmons Bank Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We’re almost up to Hell In A Cell and that means it might be time to actually add some things to the card. I’m not sure what the main event is supposed to be but maybe we get something else this week. If nothing else, New Day has a mystery partner to FINALLY wrap up their feud with the Brawling Brutes. I’m sure. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Usos taking out RKBro last week to unify the Tag Team Titles. Randy Orton was injured pretty badly last week to put him on the shelf for the time being.

Here are the Usos for a chat. After thanking Roman Reigns for making this possible, we hear about how the Usos recently celebrated twelve years in this company and they couldn’t have done it without the fans. The fans have cheered and booed them while seeing their up and definitely (Jey’s word) seeing their downs. After all their time together and all the plane rides and all the time away from their families, the fans were always there.

Jey always loves being here in front of these people and entertaining them, so from the bottom of their hearts, thank you. After all though though, Jimmy has learned that they need…..NO ONE! They have each other and now they have taken out RKBro, leaving Riddle crying like they had the little kids crying last week. Cue Shinsuke Nakamura with a challenge for a title match and he has a partner. This brings out Riddle and house is cleared, with the Usos being sent running.

We look at Ronda Rousey having some trouble beating Raquel Rodriguez a few weeks ago.

Riddle and Shinsuke Nakamura know they can work together, even without their regular partners.

Shotzi and most of the women’s division is in the locker room with Shotzi complaining about Rodriguez getting another match with Rousey. No one wants to listen to her until Natalya and Shayna Baszler seem intrigued.

Ronda Rousey vs. Raquel Rodriguez

Champions Contender match. Hold on though as we cut to the back where Natalya and Shayna Baszler come to the ring but Shotzi gets locked in the locker room thanks to Aliyah. I’m not sure how bright an idea it is to run a story about not being able to get through a locked door after someone else went through it this week, but we’ll go to the ring anyway. Rousey goes for the arm to start but gets powered up. The hurricanrana gets two on Rodriguez but Baszler and Natalya run in for the DQ at 42 seconds.

Natalya/Shayna Baszler vs. Ronda Rousey/Raquel Rodriguez

Joined in progress with Baszler working on Rodriguez’s knee. That’s broken up with a kick to the floor so Rousey comes in to clean house. Natalya takes her down in short order for the Sharpshooter but Rousey crawls over for the tag to escape (that’s a new one). Rodriguez gets taken down again but it’s right back to Rousey for the showdown with Baszler. Natalya breaks that up but the Tejada Bomb (Chingona) finishes Baszler at 3:24.

Rating: C-. And that’s how you use two women who will probably be headliners in the Women’s Tag Team Title tournament. Baszler and Natalya have never been portrayed as anything more than cranky losers and that was the case again here. Natalya even got Rousey in the Sharpshooter without much trouble but the match was over shortly thereafter. Another match that shows how unimportant the tag division is, in case that wasn’t clear enough.

New Day likes having the element of surprise because their partner tonight could be anyone from Max Moon to Reed Richards to the interviewer.

Los Lotharios vs. Jinder Mahal/Shanky

Hold on though as we cut to the back where Mahal can’t find Shanky. Mahal finds him in the locker room, dancing to their own theme music. They get to the ring and it’s Shanky big booting Humberto so Mahal can come in. Everything breaks down and Angel TAKES OFF HIS PANTS for the ring announcer Samantha Irvin (who looks terrified). The distraction lets Shanky kick Angel in the head but it’s Humberto hitting a springboard kick to the face to pin Mahal at 2:14.

Post match Mahal yells at Shanky and leaves so Shanky dances in front of Samantha, who seems a bit more enthusiastic.

Max Dupri comes in to see Adam Pearce and asks about his contract, which Pearce says is all legal. That works for Dupri, who can now find his first client.

Here is Kevin Owen for the KO Show, with his guest being a member of the Bloodline: SAMI ZAYN! After an exchange of pleasantries and a burial of whatever they were fighting about last time (Sami doesn’t remember either), Sami says he knows Ezekiel is Elias too. That has Owens crying on Zayn’s shoulder because someone finally believes him. Owens needs him to come to Raw and help him deal with Ezekiel but Zayn has his hands full. Zayn calls him Uce, but Owens isn’t sure he likes that.

Owens calls him a moron, so Zayn says that Ezekiel and Elias are CLEARLY different people. This turns into a LIAR/MORON exchange until Owens asks why the Bloodline left Zayn high and dry on Raw. Owens introduces the Bloodline twice but no one comes, because the Bloodline doesn’t care about him. Sami says Owens doesn’t know what he’s talking about and goes to leave but Owens stops him in the aisle, earning a shove into the barricade. Owens goes back into the ring and beats up the people taking down the set to blow off some steam.

Ricochet/Drew Gulak vs. Gunther/Ludvig Kaiser

Gunther wastes no time in shoving Gulak off the top for a crash as we take an early break. Back with Gulak getting over for the tag to Ricochet who hits a springboard crossbody on Kaiser. A fireman’s carry is broken up by a rake to the eyes though and it’s back to Gulak. That’s fine with Kaiser, who kicks him in the face for the pin at 6:24. Not enough shown to rate but it was just a step above a squash.

Post match Gunther kicks Ricochet in the face.

Sami Zayn asks the Usos where they were and thinks he isn’t being respected. What if he just joined with them? That’s cool with the Usos, who make him an honorary Uce. Zayn is very pleased, but I don’t know how much the Usos buy this.

Memorial Day video, three days before Memorial Day.

Brawling Brutes vs. New Day/???

Before the match, Sheamus brags about how it doesn’t matter who the mystery partner is because New Day Sucks, New Day Sucks, New Day Sucks. Cue New Day, who thinks the Brawling Brutes sound like off brand Wrestling Buddies. After more jokes (including McAfee having way too much fun with Sheamus saying it doesn’t matter if it’s Moby Dick), it’s Drew McIntyre and we’re ready to go.

The bell rings (nineteen minutes after the Brutes came to the ring) and it’s Butch going after Woods to start. Woods gets taken into the corner for the forearms to the chest from Sheamus, with Butch adding a bunch of his own. Woods fights up gets over to McIntyre for the tag, meaning Holland comes in for a change. Sheamus’ distraction lets Butch get in a cheap shot and we take a break.

Back with Sheamus hitting a top rope knee on Kofi for two in a big crash. Kofi manages to knock him down but the other Brutes pull Woods and McIntyre off the apron like good villains. The hot tag attempt works a bit better on the second attempt though as McIntyre comes in to clean house.

Butch jumps on McIntyre’s back but gets sent outside, leaving Woods to hit a running dropkick through the ropes. Sheamus hits Woods with something (off camera) so Kofi dives onto Sheamus for the knockdown. The Glasgow Kiss and the Claymore set up the Limit Breaker to give Woods the pin at 11:31.

Rating: C+. Perfectly good house show main event here as McIntyre was one of the most logical choices New Day had. Hopefully this wraps up a feud that has gone on for far too long now as WWE continues to not quite get how to put a bow on things. McIntyre continues to look like a monster and that is what he got to do here, as he does better than anyone on Smackdown at the moment.

Dancing, including McIntyre, ensues to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. While it wasn’t the worst show, this was a pretty dry effort as there was barely anything noteworthy. I don’t get much out of McIntyre being gone for two weeks on a promotional tour and coming back to beat up Ridge Holland or Owens vs. Zayn again but your mileage may vary. It’s another slow show on the way to their latest uninspired pay per view, which takes place in nine days and has four matches on the card, all from Raw. WWE might want to work on that, but they didn’t do anything about it here.

Results
Raquel Rodriguez b. Ronda Rousey via DQ when Natalya and Shayna Baszler interfered
Ronda Rousey/Raquel Rodriguez b. Natalya/Shayna Baszler – Tejada Bomb to Baszler
Los Lotharios b. Jinder Mahal/Shanky – Springboard kick to the face to Mahal
Gunther/Ludvig Kaiser b. Ricochet/Drew Gulak – Running kick to Gulak
New Day/Drew McIntyre b. Brawling Brutes – Limit Breaker to Holland

 

 

 

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Smackdown – May 20, 2022: Put Them Together And What Do You Have?

Smackdown
Date: May 20, 2022
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

We are about two weeks away from Hell In A Cell and I think that means you know what you’re getting. The big story tonight is the Tag Team Title unification match between RKBro and the Usos, which will probably get quite a bit of hype. Other than that, we have a lot more to cover before the pay per view so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is the Bloodline to get things going, with Michael Cole saying that if the Usos unify the titles, it will establish the Bloodline as the greatest faction in WWE history. This has been the latest “NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS” moment. Roman Reigns tells the fans to acknowledge him and then has Paul Heyman tell the people why this night is so important.

Heyman talks about how the Bloodline is amazing, including Roman Reigns, who is better than Hogan, Austin, Sammartino and Cena. Tonight though, the Usos are unifying the Tag Team Titles and beating the best team on Raw to become the greatest tag team of all time (with all due respect to the Wild Samoans). And that is a SPOILER! Roman tells the Usos to deliver what he wants.

Sami Zayn vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Feeling out process to start with Zayn getting the better of things and punching away in the corner. A clothesline lets Zayn choke away on the ropes but Nakamura knocks him off the top. Kinshasa misses though and Sami shoves him off the top and out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Nakamura fighting out of a chinlock and hitting a kick to the head. Zayn sends him outside though and it’s a Falcon Arrow onto the floor. Nakamura beats the count back in, pulls Zayn outside and posts him, but Zayn beats the count. Back in and Kinshasa finishes Zayn at 10:34.

Rating: C. It’s kind of a far cry from the Dallas masterpiece, but at least these two are getting on television with something to do. Nakamura is being built up again in the singles ranks after the Rick Boogs team was derailed so he very well could be set up for some kind of bigger role. Whatever that might actually be.

Video on the Usos.

It’s time for Happy Talk, with Happy Corbin standing next to the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal trophy. Corbin has never been happier and we see a clip of him using the trophy to Pillmanize Madcap Moss’ neck. Corbin talks about being sick of Moss and asks who is laughing now. Then Corbin smashes the trophy.

We look at Gunther chopping the heck out of Drew Gulak last week.

Gunther vs. Drew Gulak

We’re joined in progress with Gulak hitting his own chop, earning himself a kick to the face. A series of chops takes Gulak down and the powerbomb finishes at 1:04.

Post match Gunther puts on the Boston crab but Ricochet runs in for the save. Now this has me interested.

Max Dupri, the head of the hottest male modeling agency, introduces himself to Adam Pearce. Adam had no idea Dupri was coming, but apparently he was signed by Sonya Deville. This is awkward, but Pearce can’t quite pronounce Max Du-PRE! That would be LA Knight, because WWE needed to change THE NAME THAT THEY INVENTED LAST YEAR!

RKBro is ready to beat the Usos.

Shotzi and Aliyah argue about not being able to make it out to the ring to face Ronda Rousey last week. Raquel Rodriguez comes in so Shotzi yells at her, even calling Gonzalez an absurd Amazon.

Shotzi vs. Raquel Rodriguez

Rodriguez powers her into the corner to start and then does it again for a bonus. Shotzi tries a choke on Rodriguez’s back but gets thrown down again. A fall away slam sets up the twisting Vader Bomb and the Chingona Bomb gives Rodriguez the pin at 2:55. Mostly a squash.

Xavier Woods isn’t happy with Butch beating Kofi Kingston last week. Kofi is on New Day business this week, so Butch can come see him alone.

Sheamus tells Butch to go take care of Xavier Woods.

Butch vs. Xavier Woods

Butch and company (with the company not here tonight) are now dubbed the Brawling Brutes. They start fast with Woods sending him outside but bringing it back inside, where Butch takes him down by the arm. Woods is right back with the Honor Roll for two but Butch kicks him in the head. That’s broken up and Woods grabs Backwoods for the pin at 3:41.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what WWE’s deal is with Butch not being able to beat Woods, but this is the third time that Butch has lost to him via the same move in less than two months. In theory the feud is going to be wrapped up sooner than later, because both teams need to move way on. This is especially true of Butch and Woods, as I don’t know if I get the thinking here.

Post match the Brutes beat Woods down.

Video on RKBro.

Xavier Woods says this ends next week, because he has a partner to face the Brutes.

And now, the big story, as Michael Cole talks about Sasha Banks and Naomi “letting us all down”. Cole explains the walk out and now the titles are vacant, with a tournament coming soon. Banks and Naomi are suspended indefinitely. So yeah, you know those titles that were barely defendable because there were no teams? Well now it’s TOURNAMENT TIME! Also, WWE acting like changing the card at the last minute is the ultimate sin is pretty freaking funny. WWE would NEVER do something like that.

Oh look: the Tag Team Title unification match is next. Sure how WWE doesn’t advertise that and then turn it into a six man tag.

Raw Tag Team Titles/Smackdown Tag Team Titles: RKBro vs. Usos

Winner takes all and Paul Heyman is on commentary. Orton takes Jimmy down to start but Riddle gets taken down into a chinlock. This lets Cole say the Usos are trying to do what the Wild Samoans never did: unify the Tag Team Titles. That would be really impressive for the Samoans to do as THERE WAS ONLY ONE SET OF TITLES TO WIN BACK THEN! Riddle is whipped HARD into the buckle and we take a break.

Back with Riddle having suffered a bruised hip off that whip but he’s fine enough to keep going. A hard belly to back suplex cuts off the hot tag attempt but Riddle strikes his way over to the ropes for the tag. Orton comes in and starts cleaning house, with the RKO hitting Jimmy. Jey makes the save and pulls Jimmy over for the tag. Orton gets kicked into the corner for the tag back to Riddle, who suplexes various Usos. The super RKO is loaded up but Roman Reigns comes out to grab Riddle. Jey shoves him off the top and it’s a Superfly Splash for the pin and the titles at 11:35.

Rating: B-. RKBro is the only team that could hang with the Usos at this point but there was little reason to believe that the Usos weren’t going to have both sets of titles sooner or later. WWE doesn’t need to have two sets of titles so the Usos having the one remaining set is the right choice. Now just find some teams who could give them a run for their money, which is easier said than done.

Post match the big beatdown is on, with Riddle being choked out. The Superfly Splash through the announcers’ table crushes Riddle and we cut to a fan crying in a great visual. Reigns chokes Orton out too. The Bloodline poses with all six belts to end the show. Cool shot, but three people having six titles doesn’t make me impressed. It makes me think there are too many belts. Also, Riddle vs. Reigns at the pay per view should be good.

Overall Rating: C+. Not too bad of a show here with the Tag Team Title match being the biggest deal. I fully expect a rematch to take place at the pay per view but for now, the Usos having the titles is the way to go. Other than that, I want to see Gunther vs. Ricochet, which is someone stepping up to a bigger level. That’s not a bad show, with some other good things sprinkled in.

Then you have the Banks/Naomi reaction and…that is up there on the all time list of hypocritical WWE responses. Banks and Naomi did indeed walk out, but WWE acting like making some last minute change to an advertised match is this unpardonable offense had me laughing quite hard. It’s weird for WWE to actually do what they say they are going to do from one week to the next, but now it’s horrible for Banks and Naomi to do the same thing? That’s a very WWE reaction and I don’t mean that in a good way.

Results
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Sami Zayn – Kinshasa
Gunther b. Drew Gulak – Powerbomb
Raquel Rodriguez b. Shotzi – Chingona Bomb
Xavier Woods b. Butch – Backwoods
Usos b. RKBro – Superfly Splash to Riddle

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown – May 6, 2022: Do They Know What They’re Doing?

Smackdown
Date: May 6, 2022
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania Backlash and that means we need to hype up the six man tag which totally serves some kind of a purpose. I’m not quite sure what that purpose is but I’m sure it’s there. Other than that, it might be time to add one or two more matches to the card. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Ronda Rousey winning last week’s Beat The Clock challenge.

Charlotte vs. Aliyah

Before the match, Charlotte says Aliyah quit last week and now it is time for her to get rid of Ronda Rousey for good on Sunday. Charlotte wouldn’t be surprised if Rousey left WWE for good after she gives up. As for Aliyah, a single shot takes her down but here is Rousey for the save. The brawl is on with referees and agents (including Jamie Noble, who has McAfee VERY excited) eventually….not actually being able to keep them apart as Rousey charges at her again. They’re finally separated with no match of course.

Sasha Banks vs. Shayna Baszler

Naomi (injured) and Natalya are here too. Banks (in a hairband) starts fast and goes right after the arm but can’t hit the stomp. Baszler gets in a shot of her own though and hits the gutwrench suplex. The stomping is on in the corner to keep Banks in trouble and a side slam takes her down again as we go to a break.

Back with Banks fighting out of an armbar and sending Baszler outside for a ram into the announcers’ table. Back in and Banks gets two off the Meteora as Natalya is losing it on the floor. Banks tries a small package but Baszler reverses into one of her own and grabs the rope (with Natalya helping) for the pin at 8:15.

Rating: C. Remember when Baszler was awesome and looked destined to become the new monster of the women’s division? Well now she needs help winning a match via small package to set up what is probably going to be a loss in a Tag Team Title match. The match was fine enough, but it’s sad to see what has happened to Baszler.

Post match Natalya goes after Naomi as Baszler loads up the Future Endeavored Stomp (McAfee’s words) but Banks fights up and makes the save.

Video on the Bloodline vs. Drew McIntyre/RKBro.

The Usos want RKBro.

RKBro isn’t that impressed with the Usos and are coming for them on Sunday.

It’s time for Happy Talk and we get a recap of Happy Corbin vs. Madcap Moss. Corbin doesn’t think much of Moss, who pops up on screen and mocks Corbin for being a charity case, as he lets tattoo artists try out their bad ideas on him. Corbin tells him to come say this to his face so here is Moss to interrupt. Moss talks about the various versions we have seen of Corbin over the years, but we haven’t seen him ever be entertaining. Remember the Lone Wolf? Well wolves have hair, so maybe Corbin can be the BIG BALD WOLF! That’s enough to make Corbin….walk off without doing anything.

Video on Drew Gulak’s recent attempts at getting various jobs in WWE.

Drew Gulak vs. ???

Gulak is back in the ring against a mystery opponent and it’s…..Gunther. An early armbar has Gulak in trouble and a chop makes it worse. The big boot sets up another chop and there’s the chop in the corner. Gunther grabs the sleeper and it’s a powerbomb for the pin on Gulak at 1:59. Moving Gunther up to slightly better competition is a good move.

We look back at Rick Boogs getting injured at Wrestlemania, plus Roman Reigns taking out Shinsuke Nakamura. I thought I dreamed that.

Nakamura doesn’t like the Bloodline and promises to get a piece of Roman Reigns. Sami Zayn is watching from behind a truck.

Drew McIntyre is ready for Sunday but thinks Roman Reigns needs to get his head kicked off tonight.

Sheamus/Ridge Holland vs. New Day

Tables match. It’s a brawl to start, as you might have guessed, with Woods diving onto Holland on the floor. New Day grabs a table to hit Sheamus in the ribs but setting the table up takes too long. Holland is back up for the save but Woods breaks up a powerbomb through the table. That lets Kofi go onto the post for the HUGE dive off the top to send Sheamus through the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus and Holland both hitting their ten forearms to the chest. Kofi manages an SOS but gets dropped on the apron to cut him off. Woods strikes away at Holland back inside but has to knock Sheamus off the apron. Sheamus pulls Woods off the top to save Holland so Kofi takes Sheamus down with a hue dive. The announcers’ table is loaded up but Kofi has to slip out of an Alabama Slam attempt. With Sheamus on the table, Woods goes up but Butch comes out from under the ring for the save. Woods is put through the table for the win at 12:31.

Rating: C. The best thing here is that I was wondering if they would use the WHERE IS BUTCH thing as a way to release him so this could be worse. The table stuff here felt like such a tacked on stipulation as this feud keeps going for reasons I don’t quite understand. Sheamus and Holland have destroyed New Day over and over but the feud keeps going for some reason.

Post match Butch has to be pulled off of Woods.

Paul Heyman thinks Kayla Braxton is flirting with him and wants to be taken out for pizza in New York. Sami Zayn comes up and asks Braxton to leave so he can talk to Heyman (Heyman: “DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH HIM!”). Sami talks about how Shinsuke Nakamura hasn’t forgotten anything and as a locker room leader, felt Roman Reigns should know. Heyman agrees to tell Reigns, but this might not be trustworthy.

Post break, Zayn asks Adam Pearce for a match with Nakamura next week. Pearce says they can just do it now instead.

It’s time for Chapter 5 of the Lacey Evans Story, as she talks about her father and some family members overdosing before she became a wrestler. Then she decided that she needed to do something with her life. She had her first match in front of her daughter and now she wants to know who can stop her. Soon, she is going to be the Smackdown Women’s Champion.

In the arena, the announcer tells us that Lacey Evans is about to come out here, but wants the proper respect with some applause. Cue Lacey, who celebrates with some fans and then leaves. End of segment.

Video on Raquel Rodriguez.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Sami Zayn

Feeling out process to start until Zayn knocks him into the ropes. A running kick to the chest cuts that off and Nakamura adds a standing version to stagger him. The Kinshasa is countered into a Michinoku Driver to give Zayn two and we take a break. Back with Sami hammering on Nakamura for two and yelling at the official over the count.

Nakamura gets two of his own off a running knee and the cross armbreaker goes on. Zayn is able to stack him up for two so Nakamura hits a kick to the head. They head outside where Zayn tries to run again but Nakamura isn’t letting that happen. Instead Zayn hits a quick Helluva Kick to beats the count back in at 9:12.

Rating: C. This wasn’t quite their Takeover: Dallas classic. I’m not entirely sure why they brought Nakamura back here just to have him lose, though it is nice to FINALLY follow up on that angle from a few weeks ago that went nowhere. Sure it’s a different direction, but I’ll take it over absolutely nothing.

Here are Drew McIntyre and RKBro (who might be combined to become, I kid you not, RK McBro) for a chat. Before they call out the Bloodline, Riddle asks what the other two acknowledge. This includes McIntyre and Orton’s history against each other, and that Orton has muscular legs. Orton says he acknowledges that the sky is blue and the grass is green, with McIntyre saying it’s a joint decision. They call out the Bloodline and get what they want, with the brawl being on. The Bloodline is cleared out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. They do want us to watch the pay per view right? As in that was the point of this show. I’m not sure how that is what they were going for here, as this didn’t make me want to watch a six man tag and it certainly didn’t make me want to see Charlotte vs. Ronda Rousey again. Maybe it’s because Wrestlemania Backlash feels like one of the most unimportant pay per views in a very long time, but I have no desire to watch the show and this didn’t do it any favors.

Results
Shayna Baszler b. Sasha Banks – Small package
Gunther b. Drew Gulak – Powerbomb
Sheamus/Ridge Holland b. New Day – Woods was put through a table
Sami Zayn b. Shinsuke Nakamura via countout

 

 

 

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Smackdown – April 8, 2022: Cast Change

Smackdown
Date: April 8, 2022
Location: Fiserv Forum, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

It’s the first Smackdown after Wrestlemania and maybe something can go a bit better than this week’s Raw. If nothing else, there is always the chance to see who might show up from NXT or elsewhere and that can make for some exciting times. If nothing else, the fans have now had a chance to rest a bit and aren’t likely to get burned out an hour into the show. Let’s get to it.

Here are Wrestlemania Night One and Night Two if you need a recap.

We open with the long recap of Wrestlemania.

Kayla Braxton brings out Ronda Rousey for a chat. We look at Charlotte tapping out at Wrestlemania but winning anyway thanks to a downed referee. Rousey says that her mom taught her that things won’t always work out, but she had Charlotte beaten. Now Rousey wants a rematch, but with no way out. Instead, she wants it in an I Quit match. Charlotte pops up on screen to laugh and say Charlie Sheen’s WINNING. She thinks the Baddest Woman On The Planet deal is a myth so the match….isn’t on. Rousey says the match is taking place and Charlotte is going to scream. That is the logical next step for the feud.

We recap New Day losing to Ridge Holland and Sheamus at Wrestlemania in a minute and forty seconds (on an eight hour, two night event).

Sheamus and Holland tells Butch to take Xavier Woods apart like a chew toy.

Butch vs. Xavier Woods

Ridge Holland, Sheamus and Kofi Kingston are here too. Before the match, Kofi mocks the trio in the ring and says that since Wrestlemania is over, all records reset, so their feud is even again. Woods says that he hit the weights this morning and then called Butch’s mom, who wants him to give her rabies infused nephew.

Woods charges in and gets pounded down but comes back with some chops. Butch starts going after the arm and they head outside, where Woods gets X Plexed onto the apron. We take a break and come back with Woods fighting off the mat and hammering away on the apron. Butch cuts him off with a forearm but Woods grabs a small package for the pin at 8:35.

Rating: C-. So he debuts as a new gimmick, then becomes something of a feral man child, then he loses his debut. Are we sure that moving up to the main roster is a good thing at this point? This is the latest time that WWE has what should be a can’t miss prospect and not only do they manage to start badly, but then they run in the other direction with the thing. Well done, as always.

We recap Sami Zayn vs. Johnny Knoxville N Pals at Wrestlemania.

Sami Zayn goes on a rant to Adam Pearce about being treated like a loser after his match with Knoxville. He has even been sent cheese because of the mousetrap. Zayn wants a match with the next person to walk out of the men’s locker room, so here’s Drew McIntyre. Sami: “Ok the NEXT person to walk out of that locker room!” Pearce makes the match with McIntyre for tonight. Zayn needs some time to think about this and leaves. A stagehand comes in to hand Pearce a note, with Pearce saying to tell the sender that he can’t meet with her right now.

Ludvig Kaiser (Marcel Barthel) introduces the debuting Gunther.

Gunther vs. Joe Alonzo

Gunther chops him into the corner and then stands on his throat. The big boot sets up the chops and the powerbomb finishes for Gunther at 2:03. That’s a good way to debut a new monster.

Raquel Rodriguez (Gonzalez, also from NXT) says you haven’t seen anyone like her. Los Lotharios come up to hit on her but she says not a chance. Kayla Braxton agrees that the two of them are always annoying. There was no reason to keep her in NXT any longer so the move makes sense.

It’s time for Happy Talk with Happy Corbin and Madcap Poss but Corbin isn’t happy. The fact that some of the balloons are messed up and they appear to say CO RATS makes it even worse. Corbin had an honest conversation with himself on his yacht this week and he has come to a realization: it’s all Moss’ fault.

Moss is really sorry but Corbin doesn’t want to hear about Moss’ feelings. Somehow Moss made Wrestlemania Weekend all about himself with the battle royal win. Corbin thinks Moss has forgotten his place, which is tell him a joke. Moss asks what you call him when he costs Corbin a match? Madcap LOSS! Corbin: “That’s terrible. Tell me another one.” The second one bombs too, which doesn’t have Moss looking very happy.

Corbin gives him one more chance to tell a joke like Moss’ job depends on it. Moss asks what you call a guy who treats his friend like garbage and dressed like he’s going to a funeral for Tommy Bahama? You call him Happy Corbin! That’s enough to start the fight, with Moss getting the better of things and knocking Corbin to the floor. Moss even stomps on the hat!

Jinder Mahal rants to Adam Pearce about wanting a title shot when Ronda Rousey comes in to ask about her I Quit match. She’ll get an answer by tomorrow.

Sami Zayn vs. Drew McIntyre

Sami stalls a lot to start but Drew finally grabs him for a ram into the barricade. Back in and McIntyre sends him flying with a suplex, followed by some drops onto the announcers’ table. Zayn teases walking out but gets taken down from behind. The Claymore is loaded up but Sami runs outside again and takes the countout at 3:32.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure what to say about something like this, but Sami continuing to be a weasel is still entertaining. The good thing also here is it gave McIntyre a night off, as he was just doing his big moves and standing around while Sami bumped a bit. Odds are we’ll see this again next week and that could be interesting too.

We look back at Pat McAfee/Austin Theory/Vince McMahon/Steve Austin at Wrestlemania.

We get the first chapter of the Lacey Evans Story, talking about how her dad was abusive and ran her mom and her off. Then they lived in campgrounds all their life and worked to get here. She’s a mom, a sister and a United States Marine. It doesn’t make her better than anyone, but they’re not better than her either.

Sasha Banks vs. Liv Morgan

Naomi is on commentary but Morgan explains that she’s on her own. Morgan grabs a rollup for a fast two and then kicks Banks face first into the corner. A middle rope missile dropkick sets up a missed Oblivion, allowing Banks to kick her to the floor. We take a break and come back with Sasha hitting a top rope splash for two but the Codebreaker is blocked.

They go into the pinfall reversal sequence until Banks knees her in the face. Liv is right back with the Codebreaker for the double knockdown. Banks catches her with a knee on top and hits a superplex but throws her legs up so Morgan can grab the small package for the pin at 7:08.

Rating: D+. Most of that is for the ending, as Banks hit the superplex, laid there for a second, and then threw her legs up so Morgan could get the pin. That looked as scripted as you could get and it drives me nuts to see them make it look that bad. Throw in CHALLENGER PINS TAG CHAMPION TO SET UP THE TITLE MATCH and it’s even worse.

We look at Roman Reigns unifying the World Titles at Wrestlemania.

Here is the Bloodline for a chat. Reigns talks about winning the WWE Title from Raw and that doesn’t leave him much to do. There is a lot for the Bloodline to do though, which is why he wants the Usos to go to Raw and bring him the Raw Tag Team Titles so they can be unified too. Cue Shinsuke Nakamura to interrupt but Reigns puts his hand on the microphone. Reigns gets that Nakamura needs something after losing his partner so he’ll show some Bloodline love. That means a hug to Nakamura….and a double superkick from the Usos to end the show. Nakamura vs. Reigns for Backlash works.

Overall Rating: C+. Much like Raw, this show had stuff going on, but it didn’t feel like anything that needed to be seen. This one is a bit higher though, as they announced/at least implied some things going forward. Unifying the Tag Team Titles is a LONG overdue idea and Nakamura vs. Reigns should work out just fine. I like some of the callups too (Gonzalez/Gunther work well) and there is a bit more interest around here. Throw in this being an hour shorter and it was a lot more fun than Raw. Not exactly a classic, but I’m intrigued enough.

Results
Xavier Woods b. Butch – Small package
Gunther b. Joe Alonzo – Powerbomb
Drew McIntyre b. Sami Zayn via countout
Liv Morgan b. Sasha Banks – Small package

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Smackdown – April 1, 2022: And That’s Why I Wasn’t There

Smackdown
Date: April 1, 2022
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania and that could mean a few things. On one hand, it means we could be in for the last big push before the biggest show of the year, which means an exciting night. On the other hand, it could be WWE putting in as little effort as possible as they have more important things on their minds. Knowing WWE, I’ll go with the latter almost every time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Commentary welcomes us to the show and gives us a video package on Andre the Giant to hype up his namesake battle royal.

Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Tommaso Ciampa, Cedric Alexander, Ivar, Erik, Madcap Moss, Drew Gulak, Shelton Benjamin, Mansoor, Shanky, Jinder Mahal, R-Truth, Akira Tozawa, Reggie, Apollo Crews, Commander Azeez, T-Bar, Damian Priest, Dolph Ziggler, Robert Roode, Finn Balor

This field is lame even by this match’s standards. Only Ziggler, Roode and Balor get entrances. It’s a brawl to start with Tozawa being eliminated, followed by Reggie, who makes the dumb choice of flipping around on the apron. There goes R-Truth, followed by Mahal, the latter of whom goes out at the hands of the Vikings. Benjamin knees T-Bar out and it’s time to start brawling near the ropes. Moss knocks Gulak out as I continue not remembering that Gulak works here.

Cue Happy Corbin to praise Moss but almost low bridges him out by mistake when Balor reverses a whip into the ropes. Ciampa sends Moss to the floor but this time Corbin makes the save. Corbin leaves so it’s time to settle down again. Crews knocks out Alexander and Azeez gets rid of Benjamin. Mansoor’s slingshot neckbreaker is blocked and Ciampa knees him out. The Vikings eliminate Crews but get tossed by Shanky and Azeez, leaving them with the giant showdown.

They fight near the ropes and both get tossed out, leaving us with Priest, Balor, Roode, Moss, Ciampa and Ziggler. Balor and Priest remember that they had a feud for a bit and slug it out until Balor tosses him out. Roode puts Ciampa on the apron and Ziggler hits the superkick for the elimination to get us down to four. That leaves Balor to clean house but he can’t get rid of Roode. Ziggler goes to help Roode but Moss tosses Ziggler and Roode. Balor charges at Moss and gets sent out to give Moss the win at 7:11.

Rating: C-. This was every lame battle royal you’ve seen and that is what the Andre battle royal seems to be. It’s everyone without stuff going on at Wrestlemania being added in to a match on TV, which doesn’t make it feel special. Instead, this feels like a match that WWE has to do and picks a random person to win. Moss is part of a bad angle with Corbin vs. Drew McIntyre, but it isn’t like the match has any history or importance for the most part.

Post match Moss celebrates his win but asks what you should call a battle royal with the smartest Texans. A CATTLE royal!

Intercontinental Title: Ricochet vs. Humberto vs. Angel

Ricochet is defending because this is what the title has become these days. Angel and Humberto share an entrance and their chyron says Los Lotharios, which is a bit of a weird way to set up a triple threat. Ricochet gets knocked into the corner to start, with Angel biting his finger. The obvious double teaming begins and Ricochet gets caught with a running knee to the face. Ricochet fights up and manages a double hurricanrana, because that’s something people can do. Angel catches him on top with a super armdrag though and we take a break.

Back with Ricochet having to fight off the numbers game again, which allows the double teaming to take him down. Humberto nails a spinwheel kick for two, which doesn’t sit well with Angel. The Wing Clipper is loaded up but Humberto rolls Angel up for another near fall as greed enters the equation.

Ricochet uses the distraction to crossbody them down, setting up a rolling dropkick to Angel. The standing shooting star press gets two on Humberto with Angel making the save. Humberto gets backdropped to the floor and an enziguri drops Angel. Ricochet drops Humberto onto Angel, setting up the 630. That’s not enough so Ricochet goes straight to Humberto with the Recoil for the pin to retain at 11:15.

Rating: C+. The action was ok, but the fact that it was a relief to see Ricochet beat a tag team to retain the Intercontinental Title tells you everything you need to know. Ricochet at least comes off as a winner to save the slightest bit of face, but he needs a lot more to make up some of the last few weeks. Now he can move on to a singles challenger, but him sitting on the sidelines might be best for both himself and the title at the moment, as WWE doesn’t seem to know any better.

Long video on Kevin Owens vs. Steve Austin. Owens wanted a way to Wrestlemania so he challenged Austin to come on the KO Show. One day Owens remembered that he hated Texas and started insulting it so he wants the embodiment of Texas to show up. Austin responded from what looked to be some road out in the wilderness, which sends us into the Austin highlight reel set to Bawitaba by Kid Rock because 90s.

Naomi/Sasha Banks vs. Queen Zelina/Carmella

Non-title with Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley and Natalya/Shayna Baszler at ringside. Carmella kicks Banks to the floor to start, allowing her to get in some dancing. Zelina hits some running knees in the corner and Carmella is back in for a chinlock. That’s broken up and Banks gets in a shot to the face, allowing her to get over to Naomi for the tag. With Carmella dispatched, a Vader Bomb hits Zelina and Naomi adds the split legged moonsault for the pin at 3:26.

Rating: C-. This was about as filler of a match as you can get as they were thrown out there to set up a match that isn’t going to have much interest no matter what they do. The Women’s Tag Team Titles continue to be absolutely nothing and I can’t even get annoyed at the champs losing two days before their Wrestlemania title defense. Nothing match with nothing teams getting ready for a nothing match. Why is this a surprise these days?

Ronda Rousey was training earlier today (appeared to be with Shayna Baszler) and insisted that she was controlling her anger. She’ll be seeing her baby before the show, where she’ll rip off Charlotte’s arm.

Video on Charlotte vs. Ronda Rousey, looking at their respective in-ring/cage careers. Both dominated their sports and now it is a clash of the two titans, which would have been a bit better had they not already had a Wrestlemania match. It is also presented as a battle of holds, with the armbar/ankle lock vs. the Figure Eight. In other words, this sounds better in theory than it has been in reality.

Here is Charlotte for a chat. She praises the video and says it was more dramatic than Coda. She is going to destroy Rousey and, after mocking the WHAT chants by suggesting they are saying WOO, Charlotte declares herself cool. Every woman wants to be like her and every man just wants her. Having people want her autograph and pictures is cool, just like leaving Wrestlemania as the Smackdown Women’s Champion.

Video on Roman reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. I believe they’re fighting soon or something.

Rick Boogs plays Shinsuke Nakamura to the ring so Pat McAfee gets on the announcers’ table….but Austin Theory trips him up. McAfee gives chase to the back, where Theory runs into Vince McMahon’s office. That slows McAfee down but he kicks the door open, with Vince coming out and threatening to fire him. McAfee seems worried and goes back to commentary.

Rick Boogs vs. Jimmy Uso

Shinsuke Nakamura and Jey Uso are here too and McAfee is back on commentary. Boogs curls Uso to start before throwing him down. Jimmy is right back up with a whip to send Boogs into the post to cut him down but Boogs manages to gorilla press Jimmy….from his knees. Boogs stands up and drops him into a fall away slam, because that’s something a person can do. Cue Theory to grab a cup of ice from a fan and throw it at McAfee, who manages to keep his cool. Cue Finn Balor to go after Theory so all six get in the ring for the double DQ at 3:08.

Rating: D+. That gorilla press alone was worth seeing but that’s all they had in such a short match. Normally I would have an issue with WWE doing so many things in one match, but this is a bit of a weird situation. Balor vs. Theory is a feud that has been going on in recent weeks, though Balor isn’t even on Wrestlemania. I’m not sure why they are building feuds for beyond Wrestlemania, but we seem to be ready for a six man tag here to keep it going even further.

Usos/Austin Theory vs. Finn Balor/Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs

Joined in progress with Nakamura getting two on Jey. The running knee to the ribs in the corner gets one but a quick shot allows Jey to get over to Theory. Nakamura knees Theory in the ribs as McAfee is VERY pleased with the fans not liking Theory. Boogs comes in and grabs the rotating back and forth gutwrench suplex for two.

It’s off to Balor, who gets sent outside for a cheap shot from Jey to put him down. The villains glare down at McAfee and we take a break. Back with Jimmy missing a splash in the corner but Jey knocks Boogs off the apron to cut off a tag attempt. Balor hits the basement dropkick to rock Jimmy though and it’s a double diving tag to Nakamura and Theory. Nakamura gets to clean house, including a kick to Theory’s head and the sliding German suplex.

Everything breaks down and Boogs is sent hard into the steps. Balor comes in to clothesline Theory to the floor, setting up the big running flip dive. The Sling Blade connects back inside and it’s the shotgun dropkick to knock him down again. A distraction lets Theory break up the Coup de Grace though and the ATL finishes Balor at 11:29.

Rating: C. I knew this was coming and I still cringed at the pinfall. For the life of me I don’t get why WWE feels the need to do this, but if Theory isn’t US Champion by the end of the next pay per view (at the VERY latest), this is another entry on the long list of stupid things WWE has done. The US Champion shouldn’t be losing most of the time, but this is what, three or so falls he has taken to set up a match he isn’t even in? It’s another case of WWE feeling like they are trying to make things worse for someone they seem interested in pushing. Only WWE, thank goodness.

Post match McAfee gets on the apron to stare Theory down but he manages to keep his composure.

Here are Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss for Happy Talk, complete with a table to hold Angela the sword. Moss brags about winning the Andre the Giant battle royal earlier, but Corbin says he was supposed to do that. Corbin is euphoric and thinks that could be his new name. We look at how he got the sword and Corbin brags about everything he has done at Wrestlemania over the years.

The sword is more of an insurance policy and he could decapitate someone with the thing. How depressing is it to name the sword after McIntyre’s dead mother? Corbin: “What does Drew McIntyre’s sword and his mother have in common? He lost them both.” Cue McIntyre, who knocks Moss out with one shot on the way to the ring. McIntyre grabs a chair and throws it at Corbin’s head (that was smart), causing the sword to fall down. The set is cleared out and McIntyre cuts the table in half.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Back in the ring, McIntyre stable the mat a few times to make fire and pyro go off to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Oh they didn’t care. It was clear that this was designed to be a way to have a show before Wrestlemania and nothing more. None of the matches were good and a lot of this was about hyping things up. This has been the case for a pretty long time now and that reputation is why I was at other shows on Friday night and the only part I saw that night was at a restaurant between other events. It wasn’t that the show was bad, but rather that it was unimportant and WWE didn’t care. That’s as bad of a feeling that you can have and it was on in full display this week.

Results
Madcap Moss won the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal last eliminating Finn Balor
Ricochet b. Angel and Humberto – Recoil to Humberto
Naomi/Sasha Banks b. Carmella/Queen Zelina – Split legged moonsault to Zelina
Rick Boogs vs. Jimmy Uso went to a double DQ when Jey Uso and Shinsuke Nakamura interfered
Austin Theory/Usos b. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs/Finn Balor – ATL to Balor

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




Wrestlemania XXXVIII (Night One): They’re Back

Wrestlemania XXXVIII Night One
Date: April 2, 2022
Location: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, Texas
Attendance: 77,899
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, Pat McAfee
America the Beautiful: Brantley Gilbert

We have arrived at the biggest weekend in wrestling and this time it is back in the full capacity stadium. Again, this year’s show is split in two and again it feels like there is a good one night in between the two shows. That was the case last year though and the first night went well so maybe history can repeat itself. Let’s get to it.

Note that I was in attendance for this show, sitting in the third level off the floor in the end zone corner with the stage on my right.

Brantley Gilbert sings America the Beautiful.

Mark Wahlberg stars in the opening video and talks about how these people have a chance for a Texas sized helping of greatness. That is easier said than done though, as it is not easy to reach that level. Everyone has a chance though, so go catch greatness on the Wrestlemania stage. Nothing exactly profound here but having a star do the video is nice.

A lot of fireworks go off.

Here are the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders for an unannounced dance routine. I’m a Cowboys fan and I get the idea here, but does this add anything other than Texas flavor? It isn’t like anyone comes out or gets hyped up here.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Rick Boogs/Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Usos

The Usos are defending here but first, Pat McAfee has to lose his freaking mind dancing to Boogs’ guitar intro. You could see him on the announcers’ table from the seats and my goodness his voice makes it all the more over the top/better. We get a quick recap of Boogs faking an injury to help win a #1 contenders match so there is a bit of a backstory here. The Big Match Intros make this all the sweeter in something you don’t often see outside of the main event.

Nakamura starts fast by kicking Jimmy down and it’s already Good Vibrations in the corner. The running knee to the ribs gets two on Jimmy but Jey gets in a cheap shot to take over. A shot from the apron keeps Nakamura down and an enziguri gives Jimmy two. We hit the chinlock for a bit, only to have Nakamura fight up and hit the spinning kick to the head. The double tag brings in Boogs and Jey, with Boogs grabbing him in a bearhug.

That doesn’t last long as Boogs switches to the kneeling vertical suplex for two. A double Samoan drop….goes very badly for Boogs, as his knee buckles under the weight (apparently legitimately, putting him on the shelf for a LONG time). That leaves Nakamura to get the tag and dive onto both champs before striking away at Jey inside. The sliding German suplex looks to set up Kinshasa but Jey hits a superkick. Jimmy adds the Superfly Splash for two and it’s another superkick into the 1D to retain the titles at 6:55.

Rating: C. It’s kind of hard to grade something like this as the injury changed everything. The last two minutes or so were a handicap match and there is a strong chance that they had to come up with something on the fly, so we’ll go with right in the middle to play it safe. The match wasn’t great, but what are you expecting given the circumstances?

Video on Johnny Knoxville vs. Sami Zayn in an anything goes match tomorrow.

We recap Happy Corbin vs. Drew McIntyre. Corbin lost everything in one of the most entertaining stories in a long time, but then gambled his way back to financial security. Then he and Madcap Moss injured McIntyre, setting up a FAR too long feud to get us here. For some reason, Corbin and Moss stole McIntyre’s sword, named after his mother. Corbin: “What do McIntyre’s mother and sword have in common? Drew lost both of them.” Of course you know this means war, which started with McIntyre getting the sword back on Smackdown.

Drew McIntyre vs. Happy Corbin

Madcap Moss is here with Corbin, who is billed as UNDEFEATED, because we now keep track of wins and losses since a name change. McIntyre is wearing some dark gray trunks here for a change of pace. Corbin starts fast but gets clotheslined over the top for his efforts. A posting cuts McIntyre off and Smackdown rol….wrong show, never mind.

Back in and a whip into the corner gives Corbin two as McAfee recaps the Corbin saga. A belly to back suplex drops McIntyre for one but Moss gets on the apron for an inadvertent distraction, allowing McIntyre to grab a spinebuster. The overhead belly to belly into the neckbreaker lets McIntyre nip up as things get a bit more intense.

Corbin is right back with a quick Deep Six for two more but McIntyre knocks him down again. The threat of the Claymore sends Corbin outside so McIntyre hits the big flip dive to the floor (that’s not normal for his size). Back in and Corbin hits End of Days out of nowhere for two, with Cole trying to make that a lot bigger than it really is. The Futureshock gives McIntyre two but the Claymore gives him the pin at 8:42.

Rating: C. This could have been on any given of Smackdown and absolutely should have, as this feud was barely good enough for one pay per view match, let alone a months long feud. McIntyre should be ready to move back to the World Title scene and he needed to run these two over to do so. Maybe this leads to the team splitting, but I don’t know what Moss can do with this gimmick going forward.

Post match McIntyre loads up Angela and swings at Moss, hitting the ropes instead. The ropes are sliced in two, but I wonder why it caused an explosion. The Gordian Knot wasn’t that in your face.

We recap the Mysterios vs. Miz/Logan Paul. Miz has been feuding with the two of them and got Paul to help him out, because that’s the best Miz can do. Then Rey had his mask stolen, setting up a feud over respect that feels like it was chosen at random for Paul’s involvement.

Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio vs. Miz/Logan Paul

The bottom rope is out of sync with the others after the replacements were put in. Paul has a Pokemon card in a lanyard around his neck, which I’m assuming is something expensive. Miz takes Rey into the corner to start so Paul comes in pretty early. Some leapfrogs let Paul start well but he drops into the splits, allowing Rey to kick him in the head. That’s enough for Paul so it’s off to Dominik vs. Miz, with the former hitting a Lionsault for two. A dive to the floor takes Miz out but Paul gets in a cheap shot from behind to put Dominik down.

Back in and a pretty nice running powerslam gets two on Dominik, setting up some alternating YES Kicks. Dominik fights out of a chinlock and gets two off a backslide. That’s not enough for a tag though as Paul comes back in with a Blockbuster for two more. Dominik finally manages a tornado DDT to drop Miz and there’s the hot tag to bring in Rey. The big kick to the face gets two on Miz but Paul comes back in to load up a double superplex.

Dominik makes the save so Rey rolls Miz up for two, followed by another spinning DDT for two more. Rey hits some Amigos but gets sent into the post, allowing Paul to hit Three Amigos of his own to some serious booing as that is too far. To make it worse, Paul goes up, does something close to the Eddie dance, and hits the frog splash for a very near fall. Dominik is back in and it’s a double 619 to set up back to back frog splashes but Miz makes the save. The Skull Crushing Finale finishes Rey at 11:16.

Rating: C. The match was ok enough and Paul had clearly put in the effort to make this work out. He did very well with the limited spots he did and the athleticism is there. I’m not sure how well he would work long term, but there have been some far worse celebrity appearances at Wrestlemania (or anywhere for that matter).

Post match Miz and Paul pose…and Miz lays him out with a Skull Crushing Finale. Miz laughs at him and blows a kiss, making me wonder why I’d want to see Miz vs. Paul and what the green thing on Miz’s forehead is.

Video on Edge vs. AJ Styles as we get more and more filler.

Here is Stephanie McMahon to talk about what Wrestlemania means to her. She brings out Gable Steveson and….that’s the segment.

We recap Becky Lynch vs. Bianca Belair for the Raw Women’s Title. Belair won the Smackdown Women’s Title last year but then Lynch returned from a year plus away to win the title (completely fairly) at Summerslam. Lynch has since gone full villain and Belair wants the title back. They have traded throat injuries and Belair cut off a bunch of Lynch’s hair to make this even more personal.

Raw Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Becky Lynch

Lynch is defending and gets a special intro (similar to the WWE TV intro as we look at moments from her career)….but Belair one ups her with the Texas Southern University marching band playing her to the ring. They both have special gear, with Lynch coming out in a kind of skirt/jacket combination and Belair in black and red with her top made to look like her lips logo. They both look like they’re on the big stage and it’s an awesome addition.

They both take the time to soak it in a bit but Lynch would rather punch than shake hands. The very early Manhandle Slam gets two and Lynch can’t believe the Summerslam plan didn’t work. Belair goes to the ropes to avoid the Disarm-Her so some covers give Lynch two. They trade rollups for two each and Lynch reverses a suplex into a DDT for two more. Belair tries….something but can’t get Lynch onto her shoulders so she switches to a rollup instead.

They head outside with Lynch slipping off the shoulders to send Belair into the steps to take over. Some Bexploders connect back inside and we hit the chinlock to slow things down a bit. With that broken up, Lynch switches to a cross armbreaker but Belair powers up and dumps her outside for the double crash. Back in and Belair drives some shoulders into the ribs in the corner, setting up a gutbuster for two. The handspring moonsault gets two more but Lynch catches her on top.

Belair gets creative with a Chicago Skyline of all things and a middle rope 450 gets another near fall. Lynch is back up with a Molly Go Round, with her feet hitting Belair in the face (OUCH) for two of her own. Belair is back with a spinebuster and a cradle but the kickout sends her into the corner.

The KOD is broken up but Belair KOD’s her to the floor. That doesn’t work for Belair so she tries to come back inside, only to have Lynch hit the Manhandle Slam onto the steps. Belair dives back in at nine and then kicks out at two, sending Lynch even further into hysteria. Another Bexploder is loaded up but Belair gets to the middle rope, moonsaults over Lynch, and hits the KOD for the pin and the title at 19:09.

Rating: B+. The action was good to great, but what mattered here was the feeling. This felt like the rise of a new champion, with Belair surviving what Lynch threw at her and then winning in the end, showing that she was the better woman when things were even. It came off like the Wrestlemania showdown with the special entrances and gear and I had a great time with the whole deal. Best thing on the show by a mile so far.

Post match Lynch falls out to the floor and collapses as Belair celebrates, giving us a great visual of the fallen former champion and the new queen.

Video on Sasha Banks to fill in more time.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. a mystery opponent. Rollins kept missing opportunities to get to Wrestlemania, which apparently is more important than what you actually do on the show. Finally the solution was “ask Vince McMahon”, who gave him a match against an opponent of Vince’s choosing, making about a month of stupid stories all the more pointless.

Seth Rollins vs. ???

Rollins comes out with a weirdly dressed choir singing his music for a rather Rollins style entrance. We get the big wait until……it’s Cody Rhodes, which was expected but MY GOODNESS the reaction. Rhodes rises up through the stage and comes to the ring as this is where they got me. Your feelings on Cody aside, that wait where I wanted to see who was coming out was the Wrestlemania Moment and it was outstanding.

They stare each other down for a bit and the energy is all back, even with some CODY chants. Feeling out process to start with Rollins grabbing a headlock and shouldering him down. Cody is fine enough to hit the drop down uppercut but neither can hit a finisher. A suplex over the top sends them both crashing to the floor (that’s always a scary one) and Cody pulls him into the post. Back in and Cody grabs the armbar, setting up a short armscissors.

That’s broken up so Rollins hits an enziguri and dropkicks Cody out of the air. There’s a gutbuster to stay on the ribs (Rollins: “Welcome back to the big leagues b****.”) Rollins grabs a bearhug, which looks as out of place as you might expect it to. Cody breaks that up like it’s a bearhug from a guy who isn’t known for his strength and hits the powerslam. With Rollins down on the floor, Cody hits a suicide dive but the Disaster Kick off the steps is countered into a powerbomb into the barricade.

Back in and the Falcon Arrow gives Rollins two but the Stomp is countered into Cross Rhodes for two (because a returning star’s finisher should always only get a near fall). Cody goes up but gets caught in a reverse superplex into D-Von’s lifting reverse DDT for two of his own. The Phoenix Splash misses so they both tease Pedigrees before Rhodes hits a tiger bomb for two.

The Cody Cutter gets the same as the fans are WAY into this. Rollins’ Pedigree gets its own near fall and some Kawada Kicks set up the forearm to the back of the head. Cody isn’t having that so he hits back to back Cross Rhodes…for no cover. Instead it’s the Bionic Elbow into a fourth Cross Rhodes for the pin at 21:34.

Rating: B+. Yeah this was WAY better here than it was watching it live as they had a more modern style match of trading big moves. Cody winning was the only way to go, if nothing else for the sake of not scaring off other AEW stars who might want to come over. I’m not sure what Cody’s ceiling is in WWE, but they absolutely stuck the landing with his return. Great match, after an even better reveal.

Cody gets to soak in some well deserved cheers and kisses the mat because he’s back.

We look at last night’s Hall of Fame ceremony, which featured a cool idea of walking through the wrestlers on the way to the ring. The wrestlers looking scared at the idea of Scott Steiner on a live mic is great, but not as great as Shad Gaspard’s wife telling her son how great Shad was. Vince McMahon introducing Undertaker as Mark Calaway is….just wrong to hear.

Here is the class in person:

Steiner Brothers (they were up there with Demolition for most overdue tag team)
Shad Gaspard (that was a hard one to sit through)
Queen Sharmell (harmless enough)
Vader (how was he not in before)
Undertaker (I’ve seen that Wrestlemania entrance a few times and it will never be anything less than awe inspiring, even with Undertaker in a suit and looking emotional as he thanks the fans)

Video on Pat McAfee vs. Austin Theory. The fact that I went to the restroom after it started and it was still going when I got back says this went on too long.

Rick Boogs has wrecked his knee and had to be carried out of the stadium. Apparently he has torn his quadricep patella and will need surgery.

The attendance is 77,899. Assuming reports were correct, that means they sold about 20,000 tickets in three days. I’m sure.

Long video on Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte for the Smackdown Women’s Title. The video compares their successes in their main sports before showing the two of them being ready to clash here.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Ronda Rousey

Rousey is challenging and strikes her way out of the corner to put Charlotte in the ropes. A cheap shot has Rousey in trouble but she grabs a rollup for two. That means it’s time for Rousey to adjust her shorts before she sends Charlotte into the corner. Charlotte lands on the apron so Rousey knees her in the face and chokes a bit. The ankle lock goes on with Charlotte still on the apron so she pulls Rousey outside for the break. A posting gives Charlotte two and we hit the front facelock.

Charlotte hits a forearm/clothesline (the replay looked nasty) for two more and the neck crank goes on. That’s broken up so Rousey hits a knee for two of her own, followed by…something mistimed out of the corner. Rousey’s middle rope bulldog gets two but Charlotte is back with a spear for the same. A belly to back suplex gives us a double knockdown but it’s Charlotte up first. The double moonsault kind of connects for two so Charlotte ties her in the Tree of Woe.

That means a Boston crab in the ropes of all things but Rousey escapes and judo throws her down. Piper’s Pit can’t connect so they trade some shots to the face for another breather. Another Piper’s Pit is countered but Rousey grabs the ankle lock. That’s reversed into one from Charlotte, who gets rolled into the corner for the escape. The armbar is countered into a powerbomb for two on Rousey but she’s right back with the ankle lock, complete with the grapevine.

Charlotte escapes that as well and we hit the Figure Eight, which is turned over for the escape before they both roll into the ropes. They go outside so Charlotte can hit a fall away slam into the barricade and it’s time for a slugout back inside. Piper’s Pit gives Rousey three but the referee waves it off because of the foot on the ropes. Natural Selection gives Charlotte a very close two but her spear hits the referee. The armbar goes on and Charlotte taps to no referee. Naturally the referee pops up as Rousey yells at him, allowing Charlotte to hit a big boot for the pin at 18:32.

Rating: B-. That was longer than it needed to be and are you surprised that Charlotte was the one to get the first singles win over Rousey? I’m not sure what this means for Rousey but I could go for seeing her turn heel. The smiling stuff just feels fake so let her bring back the Death Stare and be the Rousey that got her here in the first place. The match was a good, back and forth fight but there were some botches in there and Charlotte getting this latest honor made me roll my eyes pretty hard.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

We run down Night Two.

Video on Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns.

Wrestlemania XXXIX will be in Los Angeles on April 1 and 2, 2023. This is the new normal isn’t it?

We recap Kevin Owens vs. Steve Austin, which isn’t a match but that’s more or less what we’re seeing here. Owens spent weeks insulting Texas before realizing he needed a path to Wrestlemania. Therefore he invited Austin onto the KO Show, with Austin accepting and promising a fight.

Here is Kevin Owens for the KO Show and yeah the fans don’t seem too happy with him. Owens wastes no time in insulting Texas again, saying that if America was a person, Texas would be the a**. However, he does apologize…for speaking the honest truth about Texas. Owens knows the fans are wanting him to bring Austin out there but it’s going to be on his time. Austin is the worst role model and Owens knows this because he used to look up to him. When Austin comes out here, Owens is going to insult him and if Austin doesn’t like it, it’ll be a Stunner and beer poured over him.

Cue Glass Shatter and WOW that is a reaction. Austin is as over as free beer in a frat house and takes some extra time to soak all of this in, as he should. Hold on though as Austin goes to the back and brings out his ATV to ride to the ring, as he tends to do. The set is promptly destroyed, leaving the two of them and two chairs. Owens says cut the music, leaving Austin to fix his knee brace. This is Owens’ show, so take a seat.

Austin doesn’t like Owens talking trash about Texas, but Owens asks what is so great about this place. Owens rants on Texas clothes and says if he lived here, he would have moved to Mexico (Owens: “It’s right there.”). Austin: “In five seconds, you’re going to have 70,000 people calling you an a******.” That’s fine with Owens, who says he lied to get Austin here. Instead, he doesn’t want to talk, but because he is looking for a fight. Really, Owens is here to challenge Austin to a match. Yeah it has been 19 years and Austin’s knees, back and neck were shot back then and must be even worse here.

Owens is challenging him to a No Holds Barred match right now, which has Austin thinking about it. Austin’s facials here are outstanding as you can see him thinking about going to that place one more time. Owens says either get ready or get on the golf cart and ride out again. Austin says his first match was here in Dallas, and now his last match might be too. He leaves it to the fans and says bring him a referee out here, because this is actually happening.

Steve Austin vs. Kevin Owens

No Holds Barred and my goodness I can’t believe I’m seeing this. They talk trash and the slugout is on, with Austin naturally getting the better of things. A bunch of stomps in the corner have something mudhole related going on and Austin does it again for good measure. They head outside where Austin has a beer, followed by a clothesline and a drop onto the barricade. Owens is back with a posting though and he beats on Austin with a tripod.

It’s table time (that feels so wrong in an Austin match….because Austin is actually having a match) but Owens is sent through it instead. They fight into the crowd, where Owens actually hits a suplex onto the concrete (egads). Back to ringside and Austin is able to slam him off the barricade and onto (not through) the announcers’ table. More beer is consumed and Austin hammers away on the table, followed by more beer.

Owens manages a neck snap across the top but makes the mistake of going over to Austin’s ATV. Austin isn’t having that and jumps him before driving the ATV (with Owens on it) up the ramp. A pair of suplexes on the stage (one per side) have Owens in trouble and Austin throws him back down the ramp. Back in and Austin has some more beer but Owens grabs a Stunner for two. Owens gets a chair but the swing hits the rope and bounces back onto his own head, setting up the real Stunner to give Austin the pin at 13:52.

Rating: B. This is a weird situation as Austin could have come out there and juggled kittens to the biggest reaction of the night. What made this work was the fact that Austin wound up looking good, all things considered. He didn’t have the same explosiveness but that is to be expected after so long away. This was an actual match, albeit a garbage one, but it let Austin have one more moment and that is not something that is easy to pull off whatsoever. Above all else, this was a special moment and I still can’t believe it actually happened.

Post match Austin drinks even more beer and gives Owens another Stunner, leaving Owens to be taken out by some cops. Austin throws a beer to a guy in the crowd, who fumbles it for a funny moment. Austin is glad to be back in Texas…and for some reason Byron Saxton gets in the ring to celebrate with him. Corey Graves is downright giddy, knowing that Saxton is about to get Stunned, which is of course what happens (that was funny). Austin’s brother gets in the ring for a beer with him and Austin celebrates some more to end the show.

After the show was over, Austin celebrated some more and took some laps on his ATV before finally leaving.

Overall Rating: B+. This show took its time getting started but then got on a roll in a hurry by the second half. The last four matches are all good to great and they nailed the three important moments, with Cody’s return, Belair’s win (the whole match really) and then Austin to cap it all off. As usual, WWE knows how to make things work when they’re trying and that was the case here, though the first half was just ok. That being said, this was a pretty solid smash and night two has its work cut out.

Results
Usos b. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs – 1D to Nakamura
Drew McIntyre b. Happy Corbin – Claymore
Miz/Logan Paul b. Mysterios – Skull Crushing Finale to Rey
Bianca Belair b. Becky Lynch – KOD
Cody Rhodes b. Seth Rollins – Cross Rhodes
Charlotte b. Ronda Rousey – Big boot
Steve Austin b. Kevin Owens – Stunner

 

 

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