Thunder – September 23, 1999: Why Do These People Have Jobs?
Thunder Date: September 23, 1999
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Attendance: 3,782
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko
We’re coming off a very welcome week break from this show due to a hurricane last week. This past Monday’s show was more of the same from WCW as the company made sure the young and hard working guys were stuck on the other side of the show from the main event stars, who had to be there to draw the audience. Let’s get to it.
After the usual opening from the announcers, we look at Chavo putting Psychosis in a hair vs. mask match against Kidman on Monday.
Lodi vs. Kidman
After a hug with his brother/I don’t really want to know what else, Lodi fires off some knees into the ribs. A drop toehold puts Kidman down and Lodi gets in a quick spank for some alleged comedy. That earns Lodi a dropkick in the face and a clothesline to the floor, setting up a big dive onto both blonds. Lenny offers a distraction and Lodi takes over with a legdrop and a suplex for two. A bulldog gets the same after a failed Kidman comeback attempt and we hit the chinlock.
That goes nowhere so Kidman is sent outside for a brawl with the champ. Lodi actually dives onto both of them to take over again (was he ever out of control? Well maybe back in the Flock days). Back in and Kidman hits his Bodog and does the usual to escape a powerbomb. Lodi is no Lenny it seems. Lenny offers yet another distraction to break up the Shooting Star, drawing out Eddie Guerrero to take care of him. This brings out Chavo to talk trash and then leave. Ok then. Lenny gets on the apron but Kidman whips Lodi into him, setting up the BK Bomb for the pin.
Rating: D+. Not much to this one but that’s almost always the case with the Lodi matches. That being said, it’s very refreshing to actually get to the end of a match instead of just seeing Sid come down to do the same thing every single week and often times in the same show. Lenny is getting up a pretty big set of challengers to go after the belt and I’m getting into his title reign.
Harlem Heat is shown walking in the back but they turn a corner and brawling noises are heard. Sid and Steiner walk around the same corner from the other way.
We see Sid and Goldberg yelling at each other from Nitro.
Tenay (not Gene for some reason) calls out Harlem Heat but only gets Booker. Apparently Stevie is on his way to the hospital as Sid and Steiner gave Stevie a bump on the head. That’s quite the speedy ambulance. Anyway, Booker wants Sid tonight to prove that this winning streak is a fraud.
Brandi Alexander vs. Mona
A lot of posing delays the start of the match as Tenay tells us to go on the World Wide Web for more information on the WCW Mayhem video game. Mona gets taken down in a test of strenght about a minute after the bell. They roll into a quick pinfall reversal sequence until Mona gets caught in a wristlock.
A dropkick puts Brandi on the floor but she pulls the blonde outside for a clothesline. Back in and Brandi stomps away before posing some more. She gets two off a gutwrench suplex but Mona backflips into a headscissors followed by some forearms to the jaw. Not that it matters as Brandi counters a monkey flip and puts her feet on the ropes for the pin. Uh….upset?
Rating: C-. The match was acceptable but these stand alone matches can only get them so far. At the end of the day, what am I supposed to think of this match? Mona beat her two months ago and now Brandi evens things up. There’s no title to fight over and no one else for them to face, so there’s nothing here but a decent match and a pretty Mona. Did Mona ever even face Madusa?
The split second the pin goes down, they go to an ad for Hogan and Sting videos. That was one of the fastest cuts I’ve ever seen.
Mayhem ad.
We see Karagias pinning Blitzkrieg to earn his title shot tonight.
Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Saturn
Headlock from Saturn to start followed by a hammerlock as they hit the mat for a wrestling sequence. Back up and a big clothesline drops Guerrero and it’s off to an armbar. Chavo tries to get underneath Saturn, earning him a good stomping. Sometimes that’s all you need to do. Back up again and a German suplex sends Chavo flying and he rolls out to the floor for a breather. Chavo gets back in but quickly flips over to the apron. He can’t ram Saturn into the buckle though and gets suplexed from the apron back inside. Other than a few quickly broken holds, it’s all Saturn so far.
Chavo finally jumps over a charge in the corner and dropkicks the knee before a clothesline puts Saturn on the floor. A nice plancha gets two back inside and we hit the chinlock. Saturn doesn’t like to rest though and gets up for a big t-bone suplex, followed by a forearm and another suplex. He loads up a superplex (logical next step) but Eddie runs out to swing at him. Unfortunately he misses Saturn and knocks Chavo to the mat. Somehow the referee doesn’t see Eddie coming in and dropkicking Saturn, allowing Chavo to collapse head first onto Saturn’s crotch for the pin.
Rating: C. Can Saturn please get a big win, or even a win in general? This wasn’t much to see but Saturn’s suplexes looked good. They’re setting up something interesting with the Animals vs. the Revolution, even though they both should be moving up the ladder a bit. The same idea worked with the Nation vs. DX in 1998 and stealing an idea only a year old isn’t bad for WCW. Would Eddie and Benoit be HHH and Rock in that analogy?
Here are Sid, Steiner and Charles Robinson with something to say. Sid talks about a restraining order against Goldberg and the US Title match at Halloween Havoc is off if there’s contact. Booker and Goldberg are stupid for meeting kids and doing all that other hero stuff before saying tonight, it’s 100-0. Robinson even has the next sign ready. So Robinson is some freaky Ric Flair and Lodi crossbreed?
Coach Buzz Stern is going to bring Luther Biggs to Thunder. Just get it over with so this can mean nothing.
We recap Sting vs. Benoit and the fallout with Sting attacking Hogan’s knee later in the night. They’re really pushing that six man tag so points for trying to build to a big match.
This Week In WCW Motorsports.
Prince Iaukea vs. Van Hammer
You know, I was just starting to think this show wasn’t half bad. That’s what I get for even thinking for a second that this show isn’t a horrible abomination. I need to stay more vigilant. The Prince jumps him from behind and actually gets two off a rollup. Hammer slams him down but gets small packaged for another near fall, followed by a headbutt. At least Iaukea is being more aggressive. He’s still horrible to watch but he’s aggressive. Hammer tries an Irish whip but gets poked in the eye for his efforts.
Yet another rollup gets two as dear goodness there’s an actual story to this thing. Hammer gets tired of this match and kicks Prince in the face before hanging him in a Tree of Woe and choking him from the floor. When you’re ripping off Rick Steiner moves, it’s time to hang it up buddy. A few slams set up a few chinlocks on Iaukea but he finally fights up and kicks Hammer low. I know I said just make it legal already and it seems like they actually have. Prince hits a Samoan drop but walks into a spinebuster, setting up the cobra clutch slam for the pin.
Rating: D. Well it was a bit better than a squash but that doesn’t mean it’s an interesting or even good match. I did like the idea of Iaukea just going for fast wins because he can’t go toe to toe with someone Hammer’s size, but at the end of the day it’s still Hammer and Iaukea getting five minutes on live television. There’s no way this can be considered a good thing.
Hammer says he wants a US Title shot on Nitro. I can’t decide if Sid vs. Hammer on live TV is worse than Hammer vs. Prince on live TV and for some reason I’m going to get to find out. I hate my life.
Revolution video.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Rick Steiner
Rick runs his mouth about Booker to start and still wants people to bite him. Eddie can’t take Steiner down either from behind or by the leg and I have a bad feeling about where this is going. He gets behind Steiner again but this time Rick switches over and throws Eddie down with a German suplex.
Steiner hammers away in the corner and starts ripping at Eddie’s face. A chinlock goes nowhere so Eddie is dumped to the floor. He manages to reverse a whip for the closest thing to offense he’s had so far. Naturally that’s all Rick is going to give him and it’s time for choking with a cord. Back in and Steiner slaps him before shrugging off right hands to the face. A spinebuster plants Eddie for two but he gets back up with a hurricanrana. Cue Sid to chokeslam Eddie off the top for the DQ.
Rating: D+. Is there an emergency button for Steiner to push when he’s actually having to sell? Have we ever even been given a reason why Sid and Steiner got together? Given that we’re still waiting on a reason for Nash to join up with Hogan and surrender the title when he had gotten away with everything (my goodness that sounds like forever ago), I wouldn’t hold my breath. This match showed that not even Eddie Guerrero can save Rick Steiner, which is all you need to know.
Kidman makes the save and gets powerbombed. If Lenny hadn’t done it recently, that would drive me a lot crazier.
CALL THE HOTLINE! SEE HOW ELSE WE’RE GOING TO SCREW THIS UP!
Cruiserweight Title: Evan Karagias vs. Lenny Lane
Karagias is challenging after beating Blitzkrieg on Nitro. Lodi’s sign: “Lenny is hard to beat.” Lenny takes Evan down to start and cranks on a hammerlock (popular move tonight) but has to run away from some right hands as we take a very early break. Back with the champ holding a chinlock until Evan fights up and gets sent to the apron. A springboard cross body gets two on the champ but he sends Evan into the buckle to put him down again. Lenny’s rather suggestive cover gets two before he drops Evan with a gorilla press.
That’s about it for the offense though as a double clothesline puts both guys down. Evan makes his comeback but gets caught up top. The champ’s superplex attempt is quickly countered with a sitout superbomb for no cover. That might be a good thing as it would make Evan look pretty lame to not be able to pin Lenny after a spot that big. He heads up top again but Lodi finally does something by tripping him to the mat to give Lenny a two count. Back up and Evan dropkicks the brothers together for two. Lodi gets back up so Lenny catapults Evan into him, setting up the Skull Crushing Finale to retain.
Rating: C. You know, Lenny isn’t that bad in the ring. Yeah he’s a Chris Jericho look-a-like and has a gimmick that had to be toned WAY down, but his matches are far from horrible. The division is starting to round back into some form (albeit not quite its previous glory but that’s not fair to ask) and beating Lane might be a big deal when it happens.
We see Hammer’s challenge for the US Champion from earlier tonight.
US Title: Sid Vicious vs. Booker T.
Booker is challenging but comes out alone while Sid has Steiner in his corner. Nick Patrick comes out and won’t let Charles Robinson referee the match. If Robinson is this corrupt, how does he still have a job? Granted I could say that about so many people in WCW that this really shouldn’t surprise me. Robinson stays at ringside as Booker hammers on Sid but charges into an elbow in the corner, knocking him out to the floor. Booker kicks him into the crowd and is getting in more offense than anyone has on Sid in weeks. By that I mean a few shots of course because Sid is a STAR.
They fight into the crowd and it’s the walking around the arena style. Back to ringside with Sid in control and dropping Booker across the barricade. The fans chant for Goldberg but he’s too important to appear on this show. Steiner gets in some cheap shots but Booker comes back with some kicks to the champ. Sid of course no sells but is nice enough to stay down for two off a missile dropkick, only to have Steiner pull Patrick to the floor. Robinson comes in, along with Steiner, as Sid chokeslams Booker, setting up a double powerbomb to retain the title.
Rating: D. Grumble grumble, star power, grumble grumble, Sid and Steiner are old. This was actually a bit better than most Sid matches as Booker was able to carry things far better than most of his opponents. However, Booker was never a real threat and the three villains made sure of it. Sid popping up after the ax kick really doesn’t surprise me but it still gets annoying in a hurry.
Sid yells for Goldberg to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. This show was a bit better than usual, but it’s still nothing I’d want to see. The stories have thankfully calmed down after all those months of horrid, but that still doesn’t help the mostly below average wrestling. We’re just waiting on the guys to start tearing the house down but there’s always something holding them back. Once they finally just start letting these stories go somewhere, WCW could potentially get hot again. That’s one of the things that makes their downfall so frustrating: there are ways around some of the problems (not all of them of course) but they just kept wasting the potential.
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Monday Nitro – September 13, 1999: The Writing On The Wall
Monday Nitro #205 Date: September 13, 1999
Location: Dean Smith Center, Chapel Hill, North Carolinas
Attendance: 5,571
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan
It’s the night after Fall Brawl and again I’m convinced WCW has hit rock bottom. The Revolution got swept last night and Sting turned heel to win the World Title, despite the fans sounding pleased with the results. We’re now a month away from Halloween Havoc and it’s time to see how Nitro goes without Bischoff running things behind the scenes. Let’s get to it.
Things are already looking up on this show as we look back at last week with Hart challenging Hogan and all the Hogan/Sting/Luger shenanigans.
Nitro Girls.
Quick recap of last night. That’s the best way to do it if you absolutely must.
Recap of Benoit and Malenko having a good match for a World Title shot tonight until Sid interfered to give us a good old fashioned bait and switch.
Chris Benoit vs. Dean Malenko
Rematch with the same stipulations as last week with Saturn and Douglas at ringside. Feeling out process to start as they fight over a hammerlock. Benoit scores with an enziguri but can’t hook a dragon suplex. Instead Dean nails him with an elbow tot he jaw but they both fall out to the floor. Mostly even match so far. Saturn and Douglas don’t let it turn into a brawl as Tony is talking about Sting, which actually ties into this match. You can tell Bischoff isn’t in his ear this week.
Dean takes over with a short arm scissors back inside but Benoit powers out and drops Dean for two. Malenko avoids a dropkick and goes for the leg but Benoit is right next to the ropes. Benoit misses a charge in the corner but catches Dean taking way too long to get up top, setting up a top rope superplex to put both guys down.
A double clothesline gives us a double cover before we hit a very crisp pinfall reversal sequence. Benoit starts rolling Germans but Dean counters into a rollup for two. That’s enough for Benoit as he hooks a belly to back and slits the throat, only to get caught on top for another superplex, but Benoit hooks Dean’s leg on the way down and ties the legs together into a small package for the pin and the title shot.
Rating: B+. That might be high but this is the best match WCW has had probably in months. It wasn’t even ten minutes long but they packed stuff into this match with both guys getting to look great. There’s a great story in here with Benoit trying to use suplexes and throws while Dean wanted to break Benoit down by going for body parts but kept getting in trouble when he went out of his comfort zone, namely whenever he went to the top. At the end of the day, there is no substitute for a really good wrestling match and that’s exactly what you got here.
All four members of the team gets in to hug post match.
Gene is in the ring and brings back Ric Flair as he returns in the Carolinas again. They’re already about 10,000x better than what we got last night. I wonder how much of a difference the lack of Bischoff makes as there’s a good chance he booked the PPV before leaving and this is the first real show without him.
Ric is back in face mode and sucks up to the crowd, who of course love him like free beer in a frat house. Flair alludes to being free (of Bischoff I’d assume) before talk turns to Sting and Luger. He doesn’t approve of how Sting won the title. I’ll let you pause to laugh at that for a minute. This brings the two of them out to say it’s their time now, meaning it’s time for Flair to go because they’ve been held back long enough. Somehow they’re onto something as they’ve combined for eleven World Titles and Flair has I think fourteen at this point?
Ric says they have to to earn their spots, which you would think they did years ago but Flair has always had some issues with reality. Luger and Sting deck Flair and put him in their respective submissions, drawing out Hart and Hogan for the save. Hogan sets up the tag match for later, which he’s doing for Flair. You know, for all those great moments they’ve had together earlier this year.
After a break, Luger and Sting laugh because Luger doesn’t have medical clearance or any gear. Sting not mentioning facing Benoit later scares me.
Berlyn’s entourage arrives.
DJ Ran throws it to Riki Rachman to show us last week’s winner in the Nitro Girls competition and introduce this week’s finalists. None of them are Stacy Keibler so we’ll move on.
JJ Dillon is on the phone with a doctor in Florida and finds out that Luger has been cleared for three weeks. My what convenient timing for him to finally look into that.
Stills of Benoit vs. Sid from last night. The faster we move on from this the better a lot of people will be.
Erik Watts vs. Disco Inferno
Someone explain to me why WCW keeps Watts on the payroll. They must owe Bill a favor of some kind. Erik “Let me show you my dropkick” Watts hammers away to start but gets armdragged and hiptossed, setting up dance time. He stomps Watts down in the corner but misses a charge, allowing Watts to powerslam him into the corner. Think the Oklahoma Stampede minus the followup powerslam.
Watts stays on the ribs but Disco counters a Russian legsweep into one of his own, even though it’s pretty much the same move either way. The middle rope elbow misses though and DEAR GOODNESS TURN DOWN THE CROWD NOISE! The fans suddenly go from silent to losing their minds in the span of half a second as we go split screen to show Sid. Disco hits the Last Dance for the pin a second later.
Rating: D-. That powerslam wasn’t bad but the audio going nuts was the most entertaining part of the match. Disco really deserves something better than this. Even a low level tag team or something like that would be nice for him. Instead he’s stuck in these lame matches and about to get powerbombed in half by Sid.
Of course that’s exactly what happens, plus Sid rambling on about not putting up with trash like this, or with Goldberg for that matter. Charles Robinson was holding the signs as Sid is now at 82-0 and got to wear the US Title. Somehow, it kind of suits him.
Silver King vs. Norman Smiley
Norman shoves him around to start but takes a quick enziguri (a popular move tonight) and a quick flip splash. King sends Norman outside and teases a dive which looks so horrible that Smiley doesn’t even bother to move. Back in and Smiley busts out the Big Wiggle but has to hit a wheelbarrow slam, followed by the spinning slam. Not that any of it matters though as Sid comes in for the no contest.
Chokeslams and double pins make Sid 84-0.
We recap the horrid Berlyn vs. Duggan match from Sunday.
Steve Regal/Dave Taylor vs. Barry Windham/Kendall Windham
Regal runs over Kendall with ease to start and takes him to the mat for a well needed wrestling lesson. A front facelock has Kendall in trouble and Regal goes behind him to throw Kendall around a bit. Off to Barry and the gut of doom before Taylor comes in for a European uppercut. The Windhams take Taylor into the corner for a double teaming with the Windhams moving at top speed. Well top speed for them at least, which is slow motion for most other teams.
Taylor finally rolls away, somehow countering the Windham’s lightning quick offense to make the tag to Regal. Steve comes in with those pretty lame left hands of his and a Regal Cutter to Barry as everything breaks down. Taylor hooks Barry in a leg lock but Kendall makes the quick save. The referee goes after Taylor, allowing Hennig to hit Regal with the cowbell to give Barry the pin.
Rating: D. The Windhams need to get away from my screen as soon as possible. They’re not interesting, they’re not good in the ring, they’re not really in shape and they’re not losing like they should be. The Brits are a decent heel team and could actually have a nice match if given the chance, but here they are jobbing to the Windhams, who still aren’t over after losing the titles a day earlier.
Back from a break with Jerry Flynn in the ring but Goldberg is shown coming to the ring with security while wearing street clothes. Goldberg comes down to the ring and passes Prince Iaukea, who seems to be Flynn’s scheduled opponent. THANK YOU BILL! Goldberg isn’t pleased with Sid’s comments earlier and would like to challenge him to a match. That’s the cleaned up version of course. We cut to Sid in the back where again his audio is so low that I can’t hear a thing he says. He picks up a bag and leaves as Goldberg is still in the ring. Flynn complains and I think you can guess what happens.
Stills of the Tag Team Title match last night.
Harlem Heat vs. First Family
So we had Malenko and Douglas lose last night for a non-title match? The countdown is on for those guys. Ray and Morrus stall for a few moments to start before both guys shove each other around. Knobbs comes in for a double team attempt but Booker kicks him in the face to send us to a commercial. Back with all four fighting outside until it’s Morrus slamming Ray for two inside.
The Family hits back to back splashes in the corner but try a double clothesline and get run over for their efforts. At least Stevie is at the point where he can run at people and stick his arms out. I mean WCW praises the Clowns for doing it so they should praise Stevie too right? Booker comes in to fire some kicks at Knobbs but the Rednecks come back out to break up the missile dropkick for the DQ.
Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad and they’re getting the idea of making the hot tag to someone who can actually use some speed. That being said, did Douglas and Malenko really just lose to the First Family to set up a loss to Harlem Heat the next night to continue the boring rivalry with the Rednecks? That’s what we really just did? The fact that it’s not the Clowns getting this feud is somehow the best news to come out of this.
Insane Clown Posse vs. Lenny Lane/Lodi
Oh this is going to hurt. Vampiro is hurting as well after a bunch of injuries to his head and eye after the match last night. Lodi is wearing an East Carolina University football jersey. Does he want a job in WWF (Vince went to school there if that made no sense)? A fan runs into the ring before the match but it turns out to be Tony Mamaluke, who has been following Lenny and Lodi recently. Heenan: “Take him out back and hang him.” When did Brain get so harsh?
J. does some bad looking hiptosses so Lenny starts prancing a bit. A gorilla press sends Lenny running on his knees to Lodi. The camera goes to Vampiro at ringside and thankfully he says there’s something more important going on and points to the ring. Shaggy hammers on Lodi and Stuns Lane across the top rope. A double suplex sends 2 Dope into the ropes as the fans are cheering for the Clowns. The brothers hit a knee lift into a legdrop for two on Shaggy but we get heel (?) miscommunication to allow the tag to J.
Tony and Heenan keep sucking up to the Clowns and say they deserve a Tag Team Title shot. My goodness ANYTHING but that. We get the spot where Lenny and Lodi are knocked into sexual positions before they plant Shaggy with a double DDT for two. The brothers load up a suplex/cross body combination but Lodi hits Lenny by mistake, allowing Shaggy to roll Lenny up for the pin on the Cruiserweight Champion.
Rating: F. A Clown just pinned a champion in what was supposed to set up Shaggy winning the title. Thankfully the Clowns wouldn’t wrestle again in WCW until August so this didn’t go anywhere, but my goodness. They’re treated like good guys, the announcers freak out over hip tosses, and they’re pinning a champion. Just….come on WCW. Even you should be better than this.
The Clowns want Kidman. That recruiting thing isn’t going to be mentioned again is it?
WCW World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Sting
Before the match, Benoit talks about Sid tapping out last night and the whole world saw it, but sometimes the calls don’t go your way. Instead of violins playing Sting to the ring, dogs are barking and Rick Steiner is here. Oh geez here we go. Rick says this isn’t Benoit’s night and for absolutely no adequately explained reason, this is happening instead of Benoit’s World Title shot.
TV Title: Chris Benoit vs. Rick Steiner
Steiner hammers away to start and knees Chris in the ribs. He plants Benoit with a powerslam as this is one sided so far. More beating in the corner ensues until Rick does that face grab of his. Steiner shoves the referee before they head outside with Benoit going into the barricade. Total and complete squash so far.
A belly to belly sets up more face ripping, followed by one of the most painful looking release German suplexes I’ve ever seen. Benoit landed right on the back of his head in a huge crash that made me cringe. It’s only good for two though so Steiner smacks the referee in the face, allowing Benoit to grab a bad looking rollup for the fast count and the pin for the title. Steiner clearly kicked out at about two and a half.
Rating: D-. This right here is the moment where it was clear WCW did not care about Chris Benoit. Yes he won the title but he had a total of some right hands at the beginning and a rollup with a fast count due to something Steiner did. This was all about Steiner and Benoit got squashed the entire time after having a great match earlier tonight because in WCW’s eyes, Steiner is more important than Benoit by definition. On top of that, there’s the whole missing World Title shot. Why stick around if you’re Benoit?
Post match, Steiner destroys Benoit until Malenko makes the save. Just in case you needed any more proof that Benoit is just a guy and might as well have been Prince Iaukea in WCW’s eyes.
Video on the Revolution. You know, those four guys that Steiner and Sid regularly beat up.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Perry Saturn
The Revolution and Filthy Animals are at ringside with Kidman looking to be in pajamas. Feeling out process to start with both guys trading attempts at holds until it’s Eddie grabbing a headlock. Saturn shoves him off and hits a big T-Bone before putting on a headlock of his own. Somehow both guys have already had as much or more offense than Benoit in the previous match.
Back up and Guerrero jumps on Saturn’s back for a sleeper as Tony takes way too long to get to a commercial. We come back with Saturn hitting a hard belly to back suplex but it seems to just fire Eddie up. Things speed WAY up with a sweet exchange of sleeper attempts and suplexes, all of which do little more than make me even angrier at Rick Steiner and Sid for getting pushed so hard.
Eddie gets T-Boned off the top but is still able to hot shot Saturn in the corner. The third T-Bone sends Eddie flying again and makes me think I’m watching a Taz match. The Death Valley Driver is countered though and Eddie plants him with a brainbuster. Eddie has to bail out of the Frog Splash but escapes another DVD attempt, setting up a solid pinfall reversal sequence. Saturn sits down on a headscissors attempt and gets a surprise pin.
Rating: B. Another awesome match here between two guys who can just get in a ring and go. Therefore, neither guy is going to get anywhere around here. This show has had some really good wrestling but also been some of the most frustrating stuff I’ve ever seen. Some combination of these guys could be tearing it up with Harlem Heat for the Tag Team Titles but we’re getting the Windhams and threats of the Clowns because WCW is that stupid.
The groups stare each other down and war is imminent. Why have them fight big names when you can just have them fight each other right?
Berlyn vs. Buff Bagwell
So he’ll skip the PPV (while still appearing to likely get a payday) but he’ll fight on TV where more people are watching? Again, WCW is stupid. The interpreter is back and goes to the commentary booth to make this even more painful. She starts speaking German and the voice is already annoying. Bagwell stalls to start as Tony actually calls this an anticipated match.
A nice dropkick puts Bagwell down and the German continues. Some clotheslines look to set up the Blockbuster but Buff gets crotched on top. The bodyguard gets yelled at as this match is already dragging. Berlyn gets two off a belly to back suplex and we hit the chinlock. The comeback sets up a top rope clothesline and some basic offense as Berlyn is knocked down in the corner. A hot shot sets up a punch from the bodyguard, giving Berlyn the three count.
Rating: D-. Gah this was dull and it barely broke five minutes. It was a short step better than the Duggan match but it’s clear that Berlyn isn’t going anywhere. The German chick got annoying the second she started talking and it didn’t make the match any better. On top of that, it’s clear that they’re going for the Shawn/Diesel formula with the bodyguard becoming the star, but Berlyn is as far from Shawn Michaels as I am from being Miss Nebraska 1973.
We get a long video on Sting posing the theory that Sting’s entire run as the crow was just there to set up his heel turn last night. It’s a cool video but this sounds like some nonsense about the moon landing being staged in a big studio somewhere. It doesn’t help that the video contains dialogue like this: “Perhaps Sting was driving the Hummer that attacked Kevin Nash. He was seen getting out of a Hummer a week later, remember?” They even bring up NWO Sting being part of Sting’s grand plan.
Sting/Lex Luger vs. Bret Hart/Hulk Hogan
Luger is in street clothes and it’s a brawl to start. Hogan and Sting get inside with Hulk destroying the champ with all the right hands he can throw. Bret comes in for right hands of his own as Luger finally gets on the apron. The champ comes back with a clothesline and the fans loudly cheer for him. If you were just watching the match with no commentary or any idea what happened last night, you would have almost no reason to believe Sting was a heel.
It’s off to Hogan vs. Luger with Hulk firing off even more right hands but eating the running forearm to the head. Sting comes in with a top rope splash for two because heels use high flying moves. Back to Luger for more choking as we’re still waiting on wrestling to start. Hogan blocks a ram into the buckle but Sting comes back in for a suplex. Lex starts going after the knee as this match needs to just die already.
The knee goes nowhere as Hogan clotheslines both guys down, setting up the lukewarm tag to Bret. A quick Russian suplex gets two on the champ and the middle rope elbow gets the same. Everything breaks down as Diamond Dallas Page comes out for no apparent reason, carrying a ball bat. Hogan knocks it away as Bret has Sting in the Sharpshooter but Luger picks it up and nails Bret in the face, giving Sting the pin.
Rating: F. When I’m miserable over the fact that there are only two minutes left in a match, there’s something very wrong. This was terribly boring with no one putting it into even second gear. It doesn’t help that the story makes no sense. All of a sudden Sting is EVIL (despite not really doing anything evil tonight), Bret and Hogan are Flair fans and Page is now hanging out with Luger and Sting. Terrible match here and I have no interest in seeing this go forward.
Overall Rating: D+. This is a really hard one to grade. The Revolution matches (save for Benoit vs. Steiner but that was the booking’s fault) were really good and some of the better TV matches WCW has put on in a very long time. Unfortunately though there’s a HUGE gap between those and the main event matches, which ranged from horrible to the preferred method of torture in 14 countries.
This show was a perfect illustration of how nothing is going to change in WCW. The young guys can go out there and have great matches that actually get the fans reacting, but no one is going to break through into the main event scene. Those guys exist to fight each other and warm the crowd up so the real stars can have their boring matches with whatever nonsense stories they’re running. It’s like banging your head against a wall and wondering why the door doesn’t move. As usual, the wrestling can be good in spots but the booking will make you pull your hair out.
Thunder was canceled this week due to a hurricane and replaced by a recap show so I won’t be putting it up. Sorry to the four people that actually read those recaps.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Fall Brawl 1999
Date: September 12, 1998
Location: Lawrence Joel Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Attendance: 7,491
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan
Well we had to get here eventually, even though I don’t think people wanted to. The main event here is Sting vs. Hogan for the title and Goldberg vs. Page because those are fresh matches. We also get to see the Revolution rising up the card in a big No DQ tag match and Benoit defending the US Title against one of the draws in Sid, who is nice enough to give Benoit a main event rub. This is also the first show without Bischoff at the helm so some of the details could be interesting. Let’s get to it.
We open with a video that looks like it’s inspired by the Matrix with rapid fire text behind shots of Sting, Luger and Hogan as they talk about who can trust each other. Hogan will NEVER screw Sting of course.
The announcers, all wearing black ribbons in honor of Mark Curtis (nice touch), aren’t sure who should trust who either. Sid is officially 79-0 coming into tonight, because they wanted to match Goldberg’s Streak but couldn’t even keep their fake wins even with Goldberg fighting for the title in his 75th match.
Video on the Clowns vs. the actual wrestlers. The point of the video is about whether they’re wrestlers or musicians plus something about Eddie and Vampiro not liking each other in Mexico. Nothing is mentioned about the Clowns and Vampiro recruiting various wrestlers, making it even more pointless than it seemed before.
The set is a big FALL BRAWL sign with the letters being used as the video screen. As I’m sure you can guess, this makes the video almost impossible to see, meaning WCW managed to screw up the idea of A BIG SCREEN.
Insane Clown Posse/Vampiro vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio Jr./Kidman
Same opener as last month. Mysterio now has bleached blond hair and the same attire as Kidman. We pause a bit as the heels are scared because they’ve never seen the color yellow. Xanthophobists. The stalling begins as Heenan points out the resemblance between Violent J. (with hair as blond as Mysterio) and Brian Knobbs. Kidman and Shaggy finally get things going with Shaggy sending Kidman into Vampiro’s boot. A dropkick puts Mr. 2 Dope (or is it Mr. Dope? His parents gave him the middle name 2?) down and they botch a wheelbarrow slam into a guillotine legdrop from Rey.
Eddie adds the slingshot hilo and the Clown is in early trouble. Mysterio hits the springboard falling splash before throwing him over for a tag to J. A catapult sends him into the buckle and the Clowns do the fake tag bit to bring in Vampiro. It’s off to Kidman who dropkicks Vampiro back into the corner, meaning we get more Clowns. Oh how blessed we truly are. J. scores with a chop (wow he can stick his hand out!) and it’s back to Vampiro for a good powerbomb on Kidman (that’s twice in two weeks. Kidman must be sick) for two.
A top rope spinwheel kick to the hands gets two for Vampiro as Tony gets in the revelation of the night, saying he used to braid his hair like Vampiro. Thankfully Tenay doesn’t let that by but Tony gets away from it as fast as he can. Back to J. for a weak chop before Kidman nails him with a clothesline. Rey comes in with the springboard seated senton and a Lionsault for two but the Clowns cheat to take Mysterio outside. Shaggy even needs help whipping Rey into the barricade.
Back in for a chinlock and some horrible stomps from Shaggy. Vampiro goes after Eddie and Kidman but it allows Rey to tag in Eddie to speed things up. A quick mule kick puts Guerrero down though and it’s back to J. for a side slam. Shaggy drops a top rope legdrop, which barely grazes Eddie’s forehead for two. There is zero reason to allow them to do high risk moves like that when they clearly can’t do them right. If nothing else it’s not fair to Eddie to lay there with his head and neck in danger like that.
Everything breaks down and Shaggy and Vampiro HORRIBLY botch something like a 3D with Vampiro sitting instead of falling and Shaggy losing his grip on Eddie, turning it into more of an assisted backdrop than anything else. Rey is down on the floor and seems to be hurt. Vampiro gutwrench superplexes Kidman but eats a missile dropkick from Eddie, who looks ticked off. The shooting star from Kidman is enough to pin Vampiro.
Rating: D-. I feel so, so sorry for the Filthy Animals here as they were in there with guys who had no business in the ring and had to babysit them. Eddie had to take that legdrop on his head and the botched 3D and Mysterio got hurt (might not have been the Clowns’ fault to be fair). These guys should be on the Revolution’s level right now (Eddie would be fine as a mouthpiece instead of Shane) but instead they’re in these bad opening matches because they have one talented guy to work with instead of three, putting them at a huge and unsafe handicap.
The Revolution guarantees a clean sweep tonight.
We recap Lenny Lane winning the Cruiserweight Title, which is basically just him sending Rey into Lodi and rolling him up for the pin. Kaz Hayashi pinned Lenny in a match against Lodi and that’s enough for the title shot. Of course these guys couldn’t keep an eye on the Clowns while the other three fight over the title.
Cruiserweight Title: Kaz Hayashi vs. Lenny Lane
Lodi has at least toned it down a bit and is just covered in glitter and wearing leather pants. It’s amazing how much different Tony is without Bischoff around as he’s staying on the stories and matches without saying anything overly stupid. Feeling out process to start until Lane prances around the ring. Kaz fires off some kicks to the leg and kicks Lenny in the back to pull him down into a sunset flip for two. That’s a new one. A nice headscissors sends Lane to the floor and he jumps into Lodi’s arms in an old standard. Kaz dives onto both of them and the champ is still in trouble.
Lodi finally gets something right by tripping Hayashi to give Lane control. A sitout wheelbarrow slam gets two on Kaz and it’s time to pose. Lane hits a nice sitout gutwrench powerbomb for two as this match is actually pretty good so far. Kaz gets back up and sends Lenny outside for a big flip dive. The advantage is short lived though as Lodi gets in a cheap shot to give Lenny control again.
We hit the chinlock with Chris Jericho look-a-like Lenny Lane telling the referee to ask him. Hayashi escapes a German suplex and gets two off a standing hurricanrana, only to get bulldogged down for the same. The champ gets caught in a belly to back and a running Liger Bomb out of the corner gets two more with Lodi making the save. You can tell Bischoff is gone as Tony actually knew the name of the move.
Kaz is crotched on top and you can see the glitter all over his back. Lenny and Lodi almost collide, allowing Kaz to grab a victory roll for two more. Lodi’s next attempt at cheating works though as he snaps Kaz throat first across the top rope, setting up a Skull Crushing Finale to retain Lenny’s title.
Rating: C+. Why do I have a bad feeling we just saw the match of the night? This was far better than I was expecting, which isn’t saying much as I didn’t expect anything from this one. It’s a totally acceptable and at times quite good match with Kaz being a good choice as challenger of the week to Lane’s title, even though he’s just keeping it warm until we get to a bigger name to take over as champion.
Here’s Sting for the pay per view interview before his title shot in the main event. First up, Luger is on the verge of losing their friendship forever. Tonight is beyond big for Sting so if Luger sticks his nose in his business tonight, it’s the same result as it was last week. I’m assuming he means earlier this week on Monday when Sting punched him but you can’t expect grown men to remember things like days of the week. Sting takes the mic and says his ninth title reign could start tonight because it’s showtime folks. This really didn’t need to be on pay per view.
We recap the Revolution vs. the First Family and I still have no idea why this match is happening.
Shane Douglas/Dean Malenko vs. Hugh Morrus/Brian Knobbs
No DQ for reasons that have yet to be explained. Shane says we’re in Saginaw, Michigan, which to be fair is where they taped Thunder a mere ten days earlier. It’s a brawl to start, which is what it should be in a No DQ match. Morrus easily stomps Shane down on the floor, leaving Dean to beat up both villains on his own. Shane comes back in to low blow both guys as you can see the fans leaving to go to the concession stands.
The First Family poses outside so some baseball slides (baseball grab the rope and kick for Shane) knock them into the aisle. The announcers do everything they can to put the First Family over as a major threat and a good team, even as Malenko and Douglas send them into the steps. Lots of punching abounds until we settle down to Knobbs vs. Shane in the ring. Brian gives him the Pit Stop before it’s off to Malenko to armdrag the legal Morrus. Hugh hammers away in the corner but charges into Shane’s boots.
Back to Dean as you can still see about ten seats opposite the hard camera sitting empty. They head outside with Brian sending Shane into the barricade but Douglas trips Morrus off the apron to take over. Back in and Knobbs slams Shane down, only to dive into a raised boot. The hot tag brings in Dean to clean house as the fans really aren’t interested. Could it be because he’s beating up some goofs who should be headlining Saturday Night? Knobbs is sent to the floor where he trips Dean, allowing Morrus to plant him with a slam, setting up No Laughing Matter for the pin. It really was that sudden.
Rating: G. As in good grief just close the doors now. I know the big match coming later that people usually rant about on this show, but this one is far more absurd. At least with the other one it’s a big name going over an up and comer. This is putting two young(ish) guys down for the sake of pushing BRIAN KNOBBS??? To make it even worse, the First Family would win a total of two more televised matches for the rest of the year, meaning this didn’t even lead anywhere.
This comes off as more of a political move than anything else, as WCW can now say the fans aren’t behind the Revolution because fans rarely cheer teams that lose completely clean to low level tag teams on pay per view. “See? The fans don’t like them so there’s no point in pushing them. Maybe they can put over the Rednecks again so we can laugh at those southern idiots cheering a couple of cowboys.” The No DQ stuff didn’t mean anything else as they were only on the floor in the first part of the match.
I watched this match out of context a few years back and I was more angry than anything else. Watching it again, with all the Nitros and Thunders to give it context, it’s more sad now. Somehow seeing these two jugheads beat the team that should be helping bring WCW into the new generation doesn’t surprise me. It’s something that makes sense for WCW and makes me wonder how Dean and company managed to stay as long as they did. That’s sad.
Tony immediately brings up Saturn being wrong about guaranteeing a sweep tonight, just to emphasize that the Revolution is a bunch of losers.
We recap Saturn vs. Steiner which is little more than old vs. new for old’s TV Title, which he’s already said is worthless and doesn’t even carry with him.
TV Title: Perry Saturn vs. Rick Steiner
As usual, the announcers talk about Scott Steiner like he’s here every week even though he hasn’t been seen in about four months. Steiner immediately takes Saturn down and hits him in the face as we’re told that Buff Bagwell hasn’t arrived yet so there will be a replacement for his match with Berlyn.
Saturn speeds things up with a superkick and spinning springboard legdrop to send the champ outside, setting up a nice suicide dive. The fans aren’t reacting to these moves but they’re nice at least. Back in and a release German gets two on the champ but he kicks Saturn between the legs (thankfully the referee wasn’t looking for a change) to take over. Tenay talks about Mark Curtis passing away and you can tell the announcers really cared for him.
Saturn is sent outside and into the steps, followed by an exposed DDT on the concrete. Now in 1986, that started a big house show feud between Jake Roberts and Ricky Steamboat. Here, it doesn’t keep Saturn off his feet for thirty seconds. Steiner hits a good looking release German for two and we hit the reverse chinlock to keep the crowd comatose. Now it’s a kneeling half crab, making Saturn slap the mat to get the crowd fired up, which isn’t tapping out because of…..uh, reasons.
Steiner clearly isn’t even pulling back on the hold to make this an even bigger laughingstock. Thankfully Saturn doesn’t bother to sell it and hits a middle rope dropkick and a modified t-bone suplex for two of his own. The Death Valley Driver gets the same to make it clear that Steiner is retaining. He rams Saturn stomach first into the buckle but gets crotched on top. It’s more false hope though as Steiner shoves him off the ropes and hits the bulldog to retain.
Rating: D. Saturn was trying but you can’t out work stupid booking. I have no idea who thought keeping the title on Steiner was a good idea at this point but they must have had a lot of stroke. The TV Title isn’t going to make it to the middle of April (and would be gone for about two and a half months in between) and it’s this reign that killed it. The matches haven’t been good (his opponents’ halves have been watchable but that’s about it) and the fans just do not react to him. Plus there was that time when he said the title was worthless. Why keep the title around if there’s nothing to it?
Tony keeps piling on the Revolution and makes it worse by bringing up Goldberg beating Steiner last month, just to emphasize how many people there are that are better than Saturn.
Hogan is sick of the wrestlers questioning him. He’s promised his kids that he will not stab Sting in the back because he would have done it a long time ago. Tonight, he’s taking care of Sting and he’ll take care of Luger later. Ignore the WE WANT FLAIR chants during this segment because Flair isn’t a draw, especially in the Carolinas.
The announcers speculate about Hogan being worried. They really picked now to kill time after three straight heel wins?
Berlyn vs. ???
Berlyn has a big bodyguard with him meaning the horrible blonde interpreter seems to be gone. The replacement opponent……Jim Duggan. Berlyn jumps him before the bell but a dropkick doesn’t put Duggan down. Some clotheslines send Berlyn over the top and out to the floor for a USA chant. After some stalling, an atomic drop sends Berlyn into the corner as it’s almost all Duggan.
Berlyn kicks him in the ribs and grabs a headlock before Jim no sells a European uppercut. An eye poke finally slows him down and we hit the chinlock to kill whatever momentum they were getting. Duggan fights up and drives some shoulders into the ribs before they hit the mat for something resembling a wrestling sequence, which is somehow even worse than you would expect. Now they just stand there and look at each other until Berlyn hooks the worst snapmare this side of Dusty vs. Flair at Starrcade 1985.
We hit another chinlock as Heenan says this looks like two winos fighting over a bottle on the sidewalk. Bobby gets in an easy set of jokes about a hair takedown (“Is that German? When I’m over there it’s Herr Heenan and Okerlund is still Herr less.”) as they head outside for the yet to be named Wall to run Duggan over with a clothesline. Back in and they finally end this mess with Berlyn hitting a sitdown neckbreaker, which Duggan sells by falling backwards onto him.
Rating: F. As much as I’d love to blast Berlyn, this was almost all on Duggan. He wouldn’t sell and spent most of the match making goofy faces instead of doing anything productive. The announcers were more into the bodyguard than the match, but can you blame them after this mess? This was pretty much it for Berlyn as he wouldn’t recover from this mess. I feel bad for him as this is the second time this happened to Wright. You might remember SuperBrawl V in 1995, where Paul Roma basically did the exact same thing. That’s some horrible luck.
We cut to the back to see Buff Bagwell who says he can be ready in two minutes but agent Mike Graham says the format has already been changed. Buff hits the ring but Duggan is mad at him. From what I can find, Bagwell didn’t want to do the job so they sent Duggan out there instead. As unprofessional as that is, can you blame Bagwell? He was supposed to get this big push and then Piper wouldn’t put him over in a wrestling match and Bagwell’s push was gone, so now he’s supposed to job to Alex Wright in a gimmick that has already bombed? As usual, WCW seems to be a huge mess behind and in front of the camera.
Quick recap of the Tag Team Title feud. The Rednecks cheated to win the belts and Harlem Heat wants their rematch. After all this mess tonight, a simple story like that sounds great.
Tag Team Titles: Harlem Heat vs. West Texas Rednecks
Kendall Windham in a spot this big doesn’t sound good however. Curly Bill isn’t here, which is probably best for everyone involved. Curt however is here with the cowbell. Heenan brings up the Steiners as the most dominant tag team of all time (because where would we be without praising them in 1999?) and Tony says they were the best team of the 1980s, despite wrestling for a year at most in that decade.
After a brawl to start it’s Booker kicking Kendall down before Barry comes in and getting double suplexed. There’s a big boot to Barry’s face as the crowd is trying to get into this for some reason. Then the tag brings in Kendall and the fans go right back down, which WCW never seemed to learn. Stevie stares at Kendall for trying to punch him but a right hand from Barry puts him down. Barry just looks horribly out of shape and it’s a very good thing that he’s wrestling in a t-shirt.
Curt doesn’t seem to be paying attention as a double clothesline gets two on Stevie. Ray powerslams him down and it’s off to Kendall vs. Booker with T. taking over with the usual kicks. Hennig gets on the apron but Booker kicks Kendall down again, sending all three Rednecks to the floor. Booker follows them out and gets beaten up as Stevie is too slow getting over for the save.
Back in and Booker shrugs off Kendall’s lame offense and hits the ax kick, only to have Barry clothesline him down. Hennig gets in some cheap shots as Stevie gets held back by the referee. Barry’s superplex gets two with Stevie finally getting the timing right on the save. The spinning sunset flip out of the corner gets two for Booker as this match just keeps going. The referee doesn’t see the tag to Stevie and the Rednecks cheat even more.
Kendall gets two off a middle rope clothesline and Stevie doesn’t even have to move from the apron to make the save. They redo the missed tag spot but this time Stevie just beats the Windhams up anyway. Everything breaks down and Curt hits Stevie with the cowbell but the referee doesn’t see the cover. Booker comes in off the top with the missile dropkick to give the Heat the belts back.
Rating: D. And that’s being generous because I’ve failed a lot of matches tonight. This was so boring as it went on about five minutes longer than it should have and didn’t get anywhere. Harlem Heat getting the belts back is definitely the right move, but we’re right back where we were after Road Wild went off the air. This show is long past the point of saving and this didn’t help things. It doesn’t help that this is the sixth match and the second won by good guys. Side note: this is the eleventh title change of the year (counting vacations) and we’re eight and a half months into the year. There would be eight more coming.
We recap the Sid Vicious Streak and Benoit challenging him because that’s what a good, young wrestler does. Sid even called Benoit the only member of the Revolution that stood out. Here’s his reward for impressing Sid.
US Title: Sid Vicious vs. Chris Benoit
I love how the announcers just talk about Sid’s streak like it’s legit and the same as Goldberg’s, even after showing us how he got there. Tenay brings up the disaster that was the battle royal competition on Monday to get things going. We start with the stalling as referee Charles Robinson is accused of being a Sid cheerleader. Sid shoves Benoit down and stops to yell at the fans. Tony: “That was a big moment for Sid.” Sid knocks him to the floor with a shoulder as the announcers are already treating this like a mismatch.
Back in and Sid hammers away before choking on the ropes. A dragon screw leg whip puts Sid down and Benoit starts working on the knee like a smart wrestler would. An Indian deathlock makes Sid scream as the empty seats are showing up again. The fans chant for Goldberg as Sid gets back up and kicks at Benoit in the corner. A running boot misses but confirms that Sid isn’t interested in selling the knee. Benoit wraps the knee around the post and crushes them between the post and steps (Tony: “HOLY CHRISTMAS!”) twice in a row.
Sid is thrown back inside and easily catches Benoit’s top rope cross body, even lifting up his good knee to drive into Benoit’s back, meaning he’s holding Benoit up on the bad leg alone thirty seconds after Benoit crushed it against the post. All hope is lost. Benoit muscles him over with a German but Sid pops up and hits a Samoan drop to counter a crucifix attempt. A cobra clutch puts Benoit down again and we hit the chinlock (with Sid’s hands around Benoit’s face and no pressure on the back because Sid CAN’T EVEN DO A CHINLOCK PROPERLY) because all this no selling has made Sid tired.
Benoit fights up and tries a sunset flip but Sid just sits on him to stop any comeback attempt. Another dropkick to the knee puts Sid down and there’s the Crossface. Sid SLAPS THE MAT but it’s hitting the mat in disgust instead of tapping. My goodness this is killing my soul. Sid of course gets to stand up and break the hold but is nice enough to fall back down with his foot in the ropes. Not that it matters as Sid avoids the Swan Dive and powerbombs Benoit for the pin and the title.
Rating: S. For Screw You WCW. Seriously screw you. Benoit was doing everything he could out there to tell a story by going after the knee and trying to break Sid down but Sid just gets up and does whatever he wants because WCW is run by a bunch of incompetent morons. It’s even a theme tonight.
The Clowns get on the show because they’re famous (to a niche group of fans of course but when has that ever stopped WCW?) and WCW sends out its talented guys to baby sit them. The First Family gets to beat Malenko and Douglas completely clean because well why not. Then Rick Steiner gets to keep his title because they haven’t buried that thing enough yet. Bagwell, who is a veteran at this point as he’s been in WCW for over eight years, doesn’t feel like losing so we have to watch Duggan be a disaster (and likely not get punished for no selling) and then see Bagwell do a run-in anyway, meaning he likely got a PPV pay day.
Then the Windhams still have jobs despite Barry not being in good enough shape to wrestle without a t-shirt on (which is too small and we can still see his huge gut). Then there’s this mess, which results in Benoit being pushed down the card and Sid getting the biggest push he ever had in WCW because they can’t get any worse than this right? I’m so glad Benoit and company would be gone soon because no one who works hard even at all deserves to go through this.
And just to top it off. Tony: “He earned win #80 here.” Again, make sure you emphasize that the Revolution is just not good enough in case someone thinks otherwise.
We recap Page vs. Goldberg, which is basically Goldberg destroying the Triad to give him something to do before the big showdown with Sid.
Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page
Tenay brings up the Halloween Havoc match from last year before admitting that it’s a completely different Page now. We get an old school weapons check….and the referee finds a chain. And a roll of coins! That right there is the only funny thing we’re going to see all night. Goldberg slugs Page to the floor and the stalling is already on. Back in and Page gets caught in a headlock before getting shoved into the corner a few times.
A shoulder sends Page back outside where he threatens to leave if the Goldberg chants don’t stop. They head into the crowd with Goldberg getting the better of it, as if you would expect anything else. Back in and the Diamond Cutter is countered into a powerslam. Page shoves the referee down and kicks Goldberg low before pulling out a third weapon to knock Goldberg silly. We hit the standard heel slowdown offense as Page hits him with the object again. Thankfully the referee wasn’t looking for no apparent reason.
Off to the chinlock as this torture continues. Goldberg Hulks Up but gets caught in a bad looking float over DDT for two. Page tries a spear but gets suplexed down for two as the Triad is here. Kanyon breaks something over the back of Goldberg’s head (drawing blood from the neck) and setting up a left armed Rock Bottom from Page for two more. Not that it matters as the spear and Jackhammer finish Page with ease.
Rating: D. One of the best matches of the night here despite being an exercise in how long can we stay in Memphis before Page comes back and pins Page. DDP was not working as a heel here with most of his heat coming from Yo Mama jokes and then bad matches following. Nothing to see here as the match was never once in doubt, especially with Sid looming (and still not selling anything as he waits).
We recap Hogan vs. Sting, which again is over trust or some nonsense like that involving the Hummer, because that thing just won’t die.
WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sting
Buffer says Sting has no affiliation. Hogan doesn’t really either does he? Before the bell, here’s Bret Hart (Buffer: “Only to pass on his offer of good luck for both men. He’s from the First Family of wrestling.” Please, no more First Family tonight. They’ve done enough.” Bret leaves without incident and I’m sure we won’t see him again. They shove each other around to start and exchange pokes in the chest. Hogan works on a wristlock before taking Sting down for something like an STF without the legs being tied together. Great. I have to put up with 15 minutes of Hulk Thesz tonight.
Hogan yells at some fans for some reason before driving knees to the ribs in the corner. You can see even more empty seats near the back of the arena and it’s hard to argue at this point. Sting actually hits the big jumping elbow drop for two and it’s off to the test of strength. Hogan kicks him in the ribs (called a knee by Tony) but Sting no sells a suplex. Oh no he’s been watching Sid tapes.
They fight to the floor with Hogan talking about it being for the World Title and choking with a cord. He’s definitely wrestling as Hollywood tonight. Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two on Sting and we hit another chinlock. Off to an abdominal stretch as Hogan’s dominance continues. Right hands in the corner have Sting in even more trouble and we’re just waiting on the interference.
Sting gets two of his own off a cross body and hits two Stinger Splashes but misses the third. It’s already Hulk Up time and the big boot clearly doesn’t make contact. Cue DDP to nail the referee as the legdrop connects. A Diamond Cutter puts Hogan down and Sting is put on top but Hogan kicks out at two. That’s a Diamond Cutter for the referee and another Hulk Up.
Now Hart comes back in to take out Page but Sid comes out as well, only to take the big boot to the shoulder (which he sells more than all of Benoit’s offense combined because of course he does). Luger comes in but drops the bat he was carrying, allowing Sting to nail Hogan (drawing the pop of the night), setting up the Deathlock on the unconscious Hogan for the title.
Rating: D. You have to be a really, REALLY stupid company to turn Sting heel but they somehow did it. This wasn’t the worst main event ever, but they clearly didn’t have any way to make someone lose here so they went with the big mess instead. I can live with that and the match wasn’t completely horrible, but again, they’re trying to turn Sting heel and as anyone who has watched wrestling for more than 18 seconds can tell you, that is never going to work.
Luger and Sting celebrate as Heenan is thrilled with Hogan getting stabbed in the back to end the show.
Overall Rating: Agoobwa. The level of failure this show hits is beyond words. They have somehow managed to do almost every possible thing wrong on a single show and somehow made it even worse. I’m thinking of the good things on this show and it’s a very short list: Kaz vs. Lane was match of the night by about ten miles, Page having weapons on him was a funny bit, and…..someone help me out here. What else was good on this show?
It takes a very special kind of show for me to get mad fifteen years after it aired when I already know the results. Somehow this show did it as it took me all day to make myself sit through this mess. WCW managing to stick around as long as they did is astounding to me as there is no reason to stick around after watching something like this.
This is being written six days after the 2015 Royal Rumble, which made a lot of people say WWE was a disaster. Whenever you get annoyed at WWE, go back and watch some late 1999 WCW and your perspective will change. WWE today is light years ahead of this as you can at least get more than one good match and there’s an actual story (albeit somewhat misguided) in the main event. This show consistently goes against every possible thing people could want to see and seems to encourage its veterans to screw up and destroy the future.
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but this is actually worse than Heroes of Wrestling, which aired about a month after this. Yeah Heroes of Wrestling is a disaster, but it’s a disaster in a way that you can laugh at it. This show on the other hand felt more cruel than anything else. It felt like they were trying to be as stupid and short sighted as they could while taking the fans’ money at the same time. WCW has officially hit rock bottom and things can only get better with Russo. I mean that literally. I cannon imagine things actually getting worse than this.
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Thunder Date: September 9, 1999
Location: Wendler Arena, Saginaw, Michigan
Attendance: 4,653
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay
We’re into a new era here in WCW as I’m convinced the company gave up at the last Nitro. Unfortunately that means we have a taped Thunder to sit through, even though the previous show felt like the taped episode. I know I keep saying that things can’t get any worse and I’ve been wrong every single time. Let’s get to it.
This show is in memory of Mark Curtis who died of cancer shortly before this show.
Buff Bagwell vs. Barbarian
Buff poses, then locks up, then poses, then gets kicked in the face. I like this Barbarian’s style. He hammers away with every sort of strike you can think of, only to miss a clothesline and get dropkicked out to the floor. After a chat with Jimmy (who apparently speaks monster), Barbarian comes back in and gets stomped down yet again. Jimmy distracts Buff (like it’s that hard) so Barbarian can hammer away.
Even Hart gets in some choking on the ropes as he continues to be one of the hardest working manager in wrestling. Barbarian gets two off a side slam and it’s already time for Buff’s comeback with a cross body and neckbreaker for two of his own. Jimmy throws something in but Buff intercepts it and knocks Barbarian cold (1. Some hero. 2. Does no one remember racial stereotypes?) for the pin.
Rating: D. Maybe Berlyn is right and we should all start speaking German. They couldn’t even let the guy who is supposed to be the hero win with his cool looking finisher? If there’s a guy who had one of the easiest paths to being a face it’s Bagwell, but instead he has to cheat to win a match to set up a match where he’s supposed to be fighting for America. These are the kind of small things that really shouldn’t be happening but WCW seems to think no one is going to notice and/or care.
Clip of Berlyn from Nitro.
Now here’s something that has no business on this show: a geniunely good video history of Sting and Luger, dating back to their arrival in the Crockett territory and including clips from their time together as a team (including Crockett Cup footage) and their feud over the World Title.
Van Hammer vs. Blitzkrieg
Hammer starts fast by throwing Blitzkrieg across the ring like the cruiserweight he is…..and talks to the wrong camera. Blitzkrieg tries to get in some kicks and speed things up but dives into something like the Eye of the Storm (a Razor’s Edge but Hammer spins him around and drops him without ever leaving his feet). Hammer nails a running corner clothesline and drops a leg (on the chest but close enough) for two. A sunset flip goes as well for Blitzkrieg as you would expect and Hammer suplexes him down again.
Another suplex drops Blitzy again and Hammer goes up for a Swanton of all things. Since it takes him as long as frozen molasses going uphill, Blitzkrieg rolls away and hits a standing moonsault. He tries again since nothing else has worked but only hits mat, allowing Hammer to throw him around the ring again. They head outside to kill even more time, and so Hammer can no sell a moonsault off the apron. Back in and the cobra clutch slam ends Blitzkrieg with ease.
Rating: D-. So we had a long and boring squash with Blitzkrieg getting destroyed for the sake of Van Hammer, who hasn’t been going anywhere and won’t be going anywhere for the sake of filling in time on a taped Thunder. And for some reason it got over five minutes, just so Hammer could no sell Blitzkrieg’s big spot and win with a move as lame as a cobra clutch slam? All hail WCW.
Video on Page vs. Goldberg.
Video on who was driving the Hummer. Why am I supposed to still care about this?
Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn/Shane Douglas vs. Chris Adams/Steven Regal/Dave Taylor
Regal and Benoit trade headbutts to start as the fans chant USA. Off to Taylor for some hard European uppercuts before a double tag quickly brings in Saturn and Adams. Perry slams Adams down and drops him on his head for a pretty scary semi-botch. It’s off to Shane for some stomping as he still wrestles like a heel after shoehorning his way onto this team.
Ever the genius, Shane goes over into the corner and gets nailed by the Union Jack to give the Europeans control. The triple teaming only lasts a few moments but does include a save by Saturn. Shane rolls over for the hot tag off to Benoit and everything breaks down. Benoit and Adams stay in the ring and it’s a German suplex into the Swan Dive and Crossface for the submission.
Rating: D+. Really standard six man here as Benoit continues to be the only one in the team that gets to show off in the ring. Malenko has the skill but doesn’t get to do much, Saturn is more flashy than skilled at this point and Shane is a talker who is only average in the ring. I do however like the Europeans as the talented losers who are always going to look at least passable.
Lodi vs. Kaz Hayashi
This match….again? Kaz goes after Lenny but Lodi screws up the double team attempt. The spot is oh so hilarious that they do the same thing again until Lenny finally proves his worth by distracting Kaz long enough for Lodi to grab a suplex. Lodi takes him to the floor and sends him into the barricade a few times before heading back inside for the basic stuff he can do, mainly because he’s just a comedy character who is wrestling to continue an angle that should have died months ago.
A clothesline and powerslam get two on Kaz and a middle rope bulldog gets the same. We get the old Earl Hebner spot as Kaz tries a sunset flip but Lenny and Lodi grab hands, only to have the referee kick them apart for two. Kaz gets two more off a brainbuster before Lenny gets on the apron again but Kaz sends Lodi into his partner, setting up a rollup for the pin.
Rating: D+. The worst part about this match is it was fairly entertaining and had a story to it: whenever Lodi was on his own he beat Kaz up but whenever he tried to have Lenny help, everything fell apart. That being said, it’s fairly stupid to have Kaz in trouble against Lodi before he has a title shot this Sunday.
Lenny tries some elbows on Kaz but keeps hitting mat.
Video on Sting and Hogan, who are suddenly friends after all those years of like, hating each other.
Sid Vicious vs. Adrian Byrd/Bobby Blaze
Both guys are allowed in at once and it makes about as much difference as you would expect. The powerbomb ends Byrd in less than a minute.
Blaze gets the same treatment and Charles Robinson gets to hold up the signs. Sid says his usual schtick about being the Millennium Man.
Here’s the Revolution with Benoit missing the US Title and Dean carrying the TV Title for no apparent reason. You would think Saturn, as in the guy challenging for it on Sunday, would be holding it but I’m not sure WCW remembers what they’re doing that far in advance. Dean rambles about the title belonging to people like them and says Rick can get it back in a match tonight, one on one with Sid staying in the back. Shane does a bit better as he talks about the Revolution being addicted to gold and not stopping until they have all the titles.
Barry Windham vs. Booker T.
Booker seems to like the look of that title belt. Kendall tries to validate his employment by offering a distraction, allowing Barry to get the early advantage. Booker hammers away with his usual array of strikes and the flying forearm. They head outside and both sets of partners (well partner in Booker’s case) get in some cheap shots.
Back in and Barry nails a DDT, probably the only non-striking move he can do at this point. Windham hammers away and shocks me with a suplex before throwing Booker outside for a Redneck beating. Back in again and Barry slowly stomps away, only to miss an elbow. Mr. T. comes up with his series of kicks and we even get some breakdancing. He loads up the missile dropkick but the Rednecks come in for the DQ.
Rating: D+. Somehow this is one of the better matches of the night. I’m fine with Harlem Heat being back together, but it astounds me that the Rednecks are the best team they can find for them to chase. Kendall isn’t getting a rub out of this as he continues to be one of the most useless guys I’ve seen in years. Can we get to something else for these guys already?
Stevie tries to make the save and gets beaten down as well.
Clip of Sting getting laid out on Monday.
TV Title: Dean Malenko vs. Rick Steiner
Dean is challenging but has the belt, which apparently he stole at some point earlier in the night. Rick jumps him before the bell and plants him with a suplex as we already take a break. Back with Dean nailing a dropkick and getting punched square in the face for his efforts. Cue Sid as Malenko rolls Steiner up, only to kick him off and right into the chokeslam for the fast DQ. The match might have been four minutes, counting commercial.
Shane comes in and gets beaten down as well. Benoit is able to grab the Crossface on Sid but Steiner makes the save. Cue Saturn so we can see the ENTIRE REVOLUTION getting beaten down by these two main event legends. Yes I said MAIN EVENT LEGENDS, meaning only other MAIN EVENT LEGENDS can fight them because that’s how WCW works. Saturn finally backdrops Sid to the floor and Steiner bails.
Goldberg vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
From something nearly on top of a pay per view to main eventing a taped Thunder. Bigelow jumps him during the weapons check so Goldberg easily slams him down. We get some Zbyszko level stalling from Bam Bam on the floor before Goldberg catches a cross body attempt in midair. Goldberg just holds him there before a World’s Strongest Slam sets up a bad looking armbar.
The referee gets knocked down before Goldberg knocks Bigelow silly with a clothesline. Bigelow hammers away with offense that doesn’t require a referee bump. Goldberg no sells everything and hits the Bret Killer kick, drawing in Page. The referee, apparently in a coma by this point, is still down as Goldberg spears Bigelow down. Page bails to the floor as Goldberg Jackhammers Bam Bam for the pin.
Rating: D. The match wasn’t any good but Goldberg was showing the old fire from when he was World Champion. When he gets that power game going, he’s one of the most awesome guys you’ll ever see and he was knocking Bigelow silly out there. Page running in was pretty obvious, just like the fact that he’s going to get mauled on Sunday.
Page nails Goldberg with a chair but runs away to end the show.
Overall Rating: F. See, Thunder does offer a legitimate alternative to Nitro. While Nitro is a horrible show because it’s illogical and repetitive, Thunder is a horrible show because it’s incredibly boring and doesn’t have good matches. They really need to get to the Russo era so we can get something more interesting instead of just bad. Total waste of TV time here and I don’t want to see Fall Brawl.
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Monday Nitro #204 Date: September 6, 1999
Location: Miami Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 8,623
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone
It’s one of those rare weeks where WCW has given us the slightest glimmer of hope coming off this past week’s Thunder. They actually let Saturn escape with his life against Sid and the Revolution got to stand tall to end the show. We’re coming up on Fall Brawl this Sunday though, and that means it’s time to crush the hopes and dreams of fans so the main event talent can carry the day again. Let’s get to it.
Clips from last week.
Opening sequence.
With new music, here’s Bret Hart in his medium return to WCW. He thought it was a good idea to come down to Miami and show up back here after a lot of time off to think. After all that time, it occurs to him that he hasn’t accomplished his goal of making a difference here in WCW. This isn’t about titles, but he wants to face Hogan. Even if the title isn’t on the line, he can’t move forward with his career until he gets that one match. That’s quite the random challenge without much of a reason. Glad to see Bret is fitting right in.
Here are Riki Rachman and Kimberly for the first round of the Nitro Girl search. There are two finalists and the fans get to vote on WCW.com. Kimberly wraps it up by telling us how hard it is to be a Nitro Girl. I’m sure it is. The saving grace of this segment: Rachman to the crowd: “SAY OH YEAH!” Crowd: “NO!” When WCW’s fans reject you, get out while you can.
Lodi vs. Evan Karagias
Just a matter of killing times until the Clowns and Vampiro show up. Lenny offers an early distraction so Lodi can throw Evan outside. Back in and Evan hits a quick dropkick for two, followed by a Sky High for the same. The champ tries another distraction but this time gets send running back to the floor.
A powerslam and neckbreaker get two each on Lodi and Evan dives onto Lane before he can get on the apron again. They start brawling and it’s nice to see Lenny actually fight for a change and show a backbone. Lodi accidentally dives on his brother and here come the Clowns for a distraction, allowing Lodi to grab a quick DDT for the pin.
Rating: D. My goodness this company is falling fast. It’s nice to see the backbone of the company getting bigger stories, but we’re opening shows with a guy famous for carrying signs vs. the pretty boy of the week. How is this supposed to make me want to keep watching? A mostly dull and short match with Lodi winning isn’t exactly the most thrilling thing in the world.
DJ Ran y Las Chicas Nitro.
Here’s Hogan with something to say. Thankfully he keeps it short here, saying he has no idea why Savage and George were in his locker room or what Luger’s agenda is. He even clarifies that he has a black Hummer instead of the white one in the picture. I still can’t believe that was a plot point they had to address. Hogan can’t wait for his six man cage match with Sting and Goldberg against Page/Sid/Steiner. You would think that match would be mentioned earlier in the night but WCW wants to keep us guessing you see.
Barry Horowitz vs. Al Greene
If Sid doesn’t come out during this…….It’s a very bad sign when a match doesn’t seem good enough for a taped Thunder but that’s what we’ve got here. Feeling out process to start with Barry raking his eyes because if there’s anyone you can buy as a heel, it’s Barry Horowitz. An armdrag and dropkick put Greene down and Barry chokes him on the ropes. For another match that should have been announced earlier, Tony promises a battle royal with the final two men having a regular match for a World Title match next week.
Suddenly we have piano music playing and cut to a man with bleached blond hair playing the piano being lowered from the ceiling. That would be the Maestro, who we’ll get to know more in the future. As this is going on, Sid comes out and powerbombs both guys for the no contest. Tony declares him 77-0, despite that being his record at the start of Thunder. I would say this is a big rib, but I don’t think WCW has the intelligence to pull that off. However, I can give it to WCW to have Sid, Tony screwing up, a piano being lowered from the ceiling and the debut of a new guy in a Barry Horowitz (as a heel for some reason) match.
Sid promises to break Goldberg’s record. I think we’ve gotten the point by now.
The West Texas Rednecks are getting ready for the battle royal without Duncum, who will be out two to three months. The door swings open and there’s a cowboy silhouette, complete with tons of smoke. Instead of someone interesting, it’s Vincent, now dressed like a cowboy, offering the Rednecks his help. Since the Rednecks aren’t that bright, they take him up on his offer. Curt’s nickname for him: Curly Bill. Sure why not.
Here’s Harlem Heat with something to say. Gene asks them about their title match on Sunday and Booker says he’s here to turn this mother out. He knocks the microphone out of Gene’s hand and just takes it from him next time. As usual, Gene really doesn’t have a reason to be here. Stevie says they will be the nine time, nine time, nine time, nine time, nine time, nine time, nine time Tag Team Champions. Now Booker wants to burn this mother up but we’re out of time.
Luger and Sting go into a locker room to find Bret and Hogan. Sting wants to talk to Hogan, who agrees….and there go the lights. Sound effects ensue and we come back with Sting out cold. Luger and Hogan blame each other for doing it. Didn’t we see this same storyline with the roles reversed back in the early days of Nitro? As in with the same exact people?
There’s more to that battle royal than announced earlier. There are twelve people in the battle royal and the first four will be eliminated. The next six out will face each other in singles matches later tonight, and the final two will have another singles match with the winners facing each other for a title shot next week. Those first three singles matches don’t seem to be for anything other than a way to torment us. Thankfully WCW has a graphic for this because the idea of Tony or Bobby remembering this would have been a disaster.
Battle Royal
First Family, Revolution, West Texas Rednecks
Battlebowl 1996 might have had a better lineup than this. Somehow they can’t even promote a match like this properly as Hennig stays on the floor, making it an eleven man battle royal, in theory meaning the first three are officially eliminated. Everyone brawls to start with Saturn choking Barbarian before moving over to Barry. The First Family seems to have the most continuity as the Revolution is on the other end with everyone fighting for themselves.
Shane backdrops Knobbs out and Benoit dumps Bill. Barbarian goes up top like the lunkheaded savage he is and gets dropkicked out, leaving us with eight. Benoit and Saturn chop on Morrus in the corner as Hennig keeps walking around on the floor. Shane backdrops Kendall out but Kendall grabs Douglas from the floor and pulls him out as well. I’m assuming that’s a match later. Benoit throws Barry out and Saturn dumps Flynn, leaving us with Morrus, Saturn, Benoit and Malenko. Morrus gorilla presses Saturn out, only to walk into a double clothesline to give us Malenko vs. Benoit for the title shot later tonight.
Rating: D. Gah we’re in for a very, very long night with what could be a great match to cap it off. This was a really boring battle royal with a bunch of low level guys and the US Champion and pals in there to take over near the end. I’m not sure why I would want to see Kendall Windham vs. Shane Douglas, Jerry Flynn vs. Barry Windham or Hugh Morrus vs. Perry Saturn (ok that could be decent) but if WCW can waste our time with stuff like this, why not?
Ad for Cat-Bo, a parody of Tae-Bo. See, this is the kind of stuff that can actually be entertaining, though it only kind of accomplishes the goal. The problem here is that it’s only kind of funny and comes off more like a really badly made serious version of what they’re making fun of. I mean, it’s a bunch of out of shape people moving around and exercising with a professional athlete leading them. That’s not really funny and is pretty much exactly the point of Tae-Bo in the first place. In other words, WCW had something resembling an idea but managed to screw it up.
Johnny Swinger vs. Prince Iaukea
Is the main roster on vacation or something? Swinger hides in the ropes to start and takes a shoulder to put him down. Prince hammers away in the corner and backflips over Swinger into a rollup for two. My goodness why is this not a dark match? Johnny hammers away in the corner as Tony brags about the huge audiences watching the show. There’s actually something to that as Nitro was within very close striking distance of Raw for a few weeks around this time. Granted by next week they lost by two points but they were there at this point.
Swinger hammers away even more because he doesn’t know how to do much besides punch. The fans again want Sid but instead get Iaukea missing a dropkick before making his comeback. Cue Vampiro and the Clowns again with Violent J. tripping Swinger, allowing Vampiro to give him the Nail in the Coffin so Iaukea can get the easy pin.
Rating: F. I mean…..dang man. They really are pulling out all of the horrible ideas here to make sure no one wants to keep watching this show. Yeah they tried to push something here with the Clowns recruiting people, but who in their right mind would recruit Prince Iaukea? This is clearly another episode where they’re not trying and expect the fans to just suffer through whatever they’re given and stick around for the main event stuff, despite that plan not working in about a year and a half.
Earlier today, Buff Bagwell was signing autographs when Berlyn came up and spoke German. Bagwell doesn’t take kindly to someone speaking anything other than AMERICAN and goes after him to no avail.
Berlyn video.
Steve Regal vs. Buff Bagwell
Buff starts a USA chant to keep up his xenophobic run. Feeling out process to start as they trade arm control with Regal clearly not going at full speed. A backdrop and clothesline put Regal on the floor, allowing Buff to do some high quality posing. Back in and Buff wins a slugout until Regal drives a knee into the ribs. Dave Taylor loads up the flag shot despite his buddy being in control, only to hit Regal by mistake, which sets up the Blockbuster for the fast pin. So our American hero got beaten up for most of the match and won due to some failed cheating. USA indeed.
Post match Buff grabs the mic and says he loves Miami because it’s part of America. This Sunday, Berlyn will be fighting all of the USA. This would be somewhere around Booking 101.
Juventud Guerrera/Psychosis/Blitzkrieg vs. Kidman/Chavo Guerrero Jr./Eddie Guerrero
It’s a huge brawl to start as this is already moving fast. Juvy and Eddie are left alone in the ring with Eddie taking a powerbomb before it’s off to Psychosis to start some triple teaming. Psychosis crotches Eddie on top and just lets him drop down. That’s a different method of operation instead of like, doing something interesting. Psychosis hits a top rope spinwheel kick (not a plancha Tony) and another triple stomp ensues.
Eddie finally gets a break by grabbing Psychosis’ hands and climbing the ropes into a headscissors takeover to Juvy while wristdragging Psychosis. Guerrero could hit that move like no one I’ve ever seen. He tags both partners and everything breaks down Kidman dropping a guillotine legdrop on Blitzkrieg but it’s off to Juvy for a bulldog out of the corner. He catches Kidman on his shoulders, allowing Psychosis to come in off the top with a missile dropkick for a big crash.
Off to Blitzkrieg for his overly flippy elbow drop before it’s already back to Juvy. Kidman nails the BK Bomb but here are the freaking Clowns again. Everything breaks down again and Juvy pulls Chavo to the floor, only to have Blitzkrieg hit his partner with a dive by mistake. Back inside, Psychosis can’t powerbomb Kidman (he’s no Lenny Lane), setting up the Frog Splash for the pin.
Rating: C. Either do something with the Clowns or stop having them come out so many times a show. They just stand there and then try to recruit some low level cruiserweight to set up whatever big recruitment story they have which isn’t going to make the Clowns any better in the ring. Or interesting for that matter.
Shane Douglas vs. Kendall Windham
Please make it quick. Shane asks the fans if they want a revolution. Kendall doesn’t seem to want one as he elbows Shane in the face, only to eat a gordbuster. The necksnap gets two and they head to the floor with Windham taking over. Shane is sent into the barricade and steps before taking him back inside for a legdrop for two. Kendall takes a quick atomic drop and Shane weakly punches him in the corner.
Here’s Curt Hennig to nail Shane in the back as we cut to a split screen to show the Revolution in the back. They don’t bother coming out or anything, so Harlem Heat comes out and jumps Hennig. Stevie completely misses a slap jack shot to Kendall, setting up Shane’s Pittsburgh Plunge for the pin, even though all four shoulders were down.
Rating: F. It was boring, it was sloppy, it had three people running in and there was no reason for these two to be fighting other than they were both in a battle royal earlier in the night. I’m not sure what the idea was behind the battle royal setting up matches but it feels like they have no idea what else to do.
WCW is giving away a million dollars next week. Given how much money they’ve given away over the years with bad booking, that might be a financial improvement.
Jerry Flynn vs. Barry Windham
Flynn takes him into the corner for a bunch of kicks and punches as he’s doubled his offensive repertoire. More kicks and chops have Barry looking annoyed so he rakes Jerry’s eyes across the top rope. Jerry kicks him even more until Jimmy Hart trips Barry, causing Curly Billy to go after Hart. The distraction sends Jerry after Bill, who blasts him in the head with a title belt. Barry hits a quick DDT for the pin. Thank goodness this wasn’t three minutes long as I don’t think I could come up with a low enough rating.
Clips of Berlyn debuting last week.
Gene brings out Berlyn and gets frisked by one of the security guards. Berlyn’s Lana says every stupid cliché you could imagine about how great Germany is and promises to show America that Germany is just better. Thankfully they kept this short.
Nitro Girls.
Hugh Morrus vs. Perry Saturn
This has to be better right? Morrus hammers away to start and counters a sunset flip, only to miss his sitdown splash. Saturn sends him out to the floor for a breather before punching Morrus instead of accepting a test of strength. Somehow this is already more interesting than what we’ve seen so far tonight.
Back up and Morrus stomps and chokes in the corner but gets pushed into the buckle and punched even more. Even more forearms and punches have Saturn in trouble but he kicks back from the mat. That’s it for his offense for now though as a clothesline sets up a chinlock. This match is dying.
Back up and Saturn hammers away, only to have Morrus bite his face. A gorilla press sets up a top rope splash but Saturn rolls away. Some suplexes have Morrus reeling but Jimmy Hart breaks up a Death Valley Driver attempt. The distraction lets Morrus nail Saturn in the back, only to have him miss No Laughing Matter. The Rings of Saturn finally end this.
Rating: D-. Just end this show already I beg of you. This was by far the best match of the three battle royal fallout matches so far and it’s only because Morrus is the least horrible of the heels involved. What does this prove? That Morrus can beat up Saturn for ten minutes until Saturn hits a quick move for the win? It didn’t work for Randy Savage back in 1995 and it doesn’t make me want to see Saturn fight for the TV Title on Sunday.
Road Report.
Chris Benoit vs. Dean Malenko
Non-title but the winner gets a World Title shot next week. They shake hands hard to start before Benoit takes him down to the mat. Dean does the exact same thing before nailing a shoulder to get us to a standoff. A test of strength goes to Malenko but Benoit monkey flips him for two, setting off a sweet pinfall reversal sequence for several near falls each. Benoit is sent to the apron but gets pulled back inside almost immediately.
Things start getting more intense as Benoit chops away and sends Dean into the buckle. It turns into a slugout with Benoit getting the better of it before we hit a quick chinlock. Thankfully that goes nowhere and they fight over a tombstone with Chris planting Malenko…..as Sid comes out. Benoit misses the Swan Dive, drawing in Sid to powerbomb Malenko and talk trash, giving us a no contest, which should have been a DQ win for Benoit but WCW doesn’t understand how wrestling works. So yes, the ENTIRE BATTLE ROYAL and all those boring matches mean NOTHING.
Rating: D+. I should have known. I mean I really should have known. You knew WCW wasn’t going to give Benoit or Malenko a crack at the top spot in the company because that would be elevating one of these guys, when it’s clear they only exist to make people like Sid look good. The match was getting good until the end, which crippled it more than jumping off the top rope did for Sid.
Video on Hogan vs. Sting.
Video on Page vs. Goldberg.
The cage is lowered, complete with a top on it.
Goldberg/Hulk Hogan/Sting vs. Sid Vicious/Rick Steiner/Diamond Dallas Page
Steiner still doesn’t have the TV Title with him, though to be fair, Hogan doesn’t have his belt either. Hogan comes out first and the fight starts 3-1 with the World Champ in trouble. Goldberg is nice enough to go through his full entrance as his partner gets triple teamed. Apparently Bigelow and Kanyon aren’t pleased with Goldberg’s laziness and jump him outside the cage as we’re waiting on Sting. Bigelow and Kanyon show their stupidity by throwing Goldberg inside the cage and he immediately starts his comeback. He fights out of a Diamond Cutter attempt and powerslams Page before clotheslining the other two down.
Hogan gets back up and the villains are beaten up even worse. The trio starts fighting back as Sting and Luger come out with Lex telling Sting not to go in. Sting doesn’t listen to Luger (would you?) and comes in to clean house again, sending Sid and Steiner running away and leaving Page to get big booted and legdropped for the pin. The ending was odd as Hogan seemed to get up at two and a half while Goldberg and Sting just stood there with nothing to do.
Rating: D-. And now I’m supposed to pay for Goldberg vs. Page this Sunday? He’s become the main event whipping boy in the last few weeks, but at least it’s better than having the young guys doing these jobs. Not that they would ever be allowed near Hogan, Goldberg and Sting of course. This was another massacre with Hogan and Goldberg barely breaking a sweat before Sting came down to take away any possible threat. The main event heels are looking so worthless right now that having any two parts of the holy trinity fighting each other is the only real option they have.
Luger gets in the ring and right into Sting’s face, saying Hogan can’t be trusted. Sting and Luger start fighting as the show goes off the air.
Overall Rating: F-. There have been books written about what killed WCW. You’ll hear reasons ranging from the AOL-Time Warner merger to guaranteed contracts to a lack of elevating new stars. I however offer a new theory: their shows SUCKED. Look at what they presented here tonight and tell me how they were trying to put out a good product. I for one don’t really need to see Jerry Flynn and Kendall Windham working twice in a night but that’s just me.
What on here would make me want to come back? Is it the boring to horrible matches? Maybe the young guys getting crushed? Or is it the Clowns coming out three times a show? It could be sitting through three terrible matches and one passable one to find out that the entire concept was just there for Sid to beat up more young, talented guys. This show drew a 4.1 rating compared to Raw’s 4.4. Next week’s ratings: 6.0 for Raw compared to a 3.3 for Nitro. This show didn’t make people stick around and how can you blame them? Total disaster here and it was clear they weren’t even trying.
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Thunder Date: September 2, 1999
Location: Wendler Arena, Saginaw, Michigan
Attendance: 4,653
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay
We’re getting closer to Fall Brawl and the card is starting to take some shape. The big story coming out of Monday is Luger accusing Hogan of driving the Hummer back in the summer, even though I don’t think anyone was still wondering about that. Sting believes Luger, meaning he isn’t sure if he can trust Hogan, who was totally his best friend who has never done anything bad to him ever. Let’s get to it.
We recap Hogan/Sting/Luger from Nitro and Hogan standing next to the white Hummer. Wasn’t it black at one point?
Opening sequence.
In case you want to check the color, we see the original Hummer attack on Nash. It’s white there.
Clip from the end of Nitro where Sting found Savage and Gorgeous George in Hogan’s locker room.
Here’s Diamond Dallas Page to promise he’s going to take care of Goldberg at Fall Brawl. He was going to do it tonight but then he realized he’s in Saginaw and the fans here don’t deserve it. Instead, he has a replacement for tonight.
Diamond Dallas Page vs. Al Greene
Page makes more Mama jokes and gets jumped from behind to start. That’s fine with Page who hits a quick belly to back suplex and neckbreaker to take over. We get a nice variety of choking, stomping and choking as you can feel the televisions changing over to Smackdown in droves. Greene’s lone offense is a jawbreaker, followed by Page ducking a clothesline and Diamond Cutting Al for the pin.
Revolution vs. First Family in a No DQ match for Fall Braw.
Shane Douglas vs. Dave Taylor
The Englishman sends him into the corner to start but charges into a boot, setting up a gordbuster from Shane. After a quick break on the floor, Taylor comes back with some European uppercuts before going after the legs with a very British style offense. Back up and Taylor goes for a middle rope forearm but Shane rolls away, sending Taylor into Regal by mistake. The Pittsburgh Plunge gives Shane the easy pin in a quick match.
Chris Adams comes out with the Union Jack but Benoit makes the save. The First Family and Revolution come in for a big brawl with the Revolution getting the better of it and earning the right to talk some trash.
Berlyn is here. As in WCW, not this show.
Kaz Hayashi vs. El Dandy
In something you don’t often see to start, Kaz charges into a boot in the corner. Dandy doesn’t follow up for some reason and gets armdragged down a few times, followed by a dropkick to send him outside. Kaz speeds things up with a big corkscrew dive but can’t follow up. Back inside and Hayashi charges into another boot to the face (it’s a really bad sign when they’re repeating spots ninety seconds into the match), allowing Dandy to backflip over Kaz without making any contact.
That may not be the smartest move in the world but who am I to doubt El Dandy? Yes that joke has been done to death but what else is there to talk about with Dandy? A couple of slams put Kaz down but Dandy misses a middle rope splash. Back up and Dandy misses a charge but Kaz charges into the third boot to the face of the match. And this guy is supposed to be the next challenger for the Cruiserweight Title? Dandy hits a quick hurricanrana but his superplex is broken up, allowing Kaz to hit a senton backsplash for the pin.
Rating: D. This match ran just over three minutes and they managed to do the same spot three times. I know neither guy is on the high end of the Cruiserweight division, but they really can’t come up with anything better than this? Dandy really wasn’t the best guy in the world to face Hayashi and he kind of jammed up Kaz’s push.
Sid comes in post match for a chokeslam, powerbomb and win #76. Wasn’t he in the eighties just a few weeks ago? With the lights coming down, Sid says Benoit is the only member of the Revolution that stands out and he’d love to beat him for the US Title.
Berlyn is still around. Still not here, but around.
Cruiserweight Title: Lenny Lane vs. Kidman
Hayashi, also known as victim #76, is getting the winner at Fall Brawl. Feeling out process to start with Kidman sending him into the ropes, only to eat a shoulder block. After some championship quality skipping, another shoulder (please not three times in one match again) puts Kidman down. Lane trips over him while running the ropes though and Kidman comes back with right hands.
A headscissors sends the champ down and a dropkick puts him on the floor, allowing Kidman to hit a big dive onto the brothers. Back in and Lenny flips out of a Fameasser attempt before sending him outside for a beating from Lodi. Kidman gets planted with a reverse powerbomb (I’ve always thought that would be a good finisher) and we take a break. Back with Kidman missing a charge, setting up a sexually suggestive waistlock. A gutwrench powerbomb gets….HE JUST POWEBOMBED KIDMAN!!!!! I mean, of all the people that tried, LENNY LANE gets to powerbomb Kidman???
As my mind is trying to comprehend this, Kidman comes back with a powerbomb of his own for tow. The Bodog gets two more but Lane misses a cross body and hits the referee. Cue Lodi for a DDT but it has about all the effect you would expect from a Lodi move. Kidman reverses yet another powerbomb and loads up the Shooting Star, only to have Lodi come in again for the DQ.
Rating: C+. This was getting good and that powerbomb thing was actually a cool moment. I’m sure that’s why the announcers didn’t notice it and just kept going with the match instead of mentioning how rare it was. Lane is decent enough in the ring but I have little desire to see him defending the title against people like Hayashi. It’s just quite the drop in talent, but the match could be a pleasant surprise.
Mysterio comes out for the save. That would be another team that would be better than the Windhams.
Here’s the Revolution for a chat. Benoit talks about Sid saying people need to stand out, so Benoit is ready to step up. Sid is going to have to beat him to death to take the US Title at Fall Brawl and that means more than a powerbomb. Saturn challenges Sid for tonight.
This Week In WCW Motorsports.
Coach Buzz Stern gives his four candidates a pep talk and picks Luther Biggs to be part of his Winners’ Club. Biggs looks like a stoner and falls on his face on the way to Stern’s side.
Harlem Heat vs. Disorderly Conduct
We get the intros this week because Harlem Heat doesn’t have the belts coming in after losing them on a live show. Booker wristlocks Mike to start but they’re quickly into the ropes. Instead it’s off to a hammerlock followed by the yet to be named Book End and the Ax Kick for two.
Off to Stevie for a delayed double suplex, but Mike rakes the eyes to get over for a tag. It seems that WCW has given up on the idea of actually fighting Smackdown and is content to just let them have Thursday nights. Another eye rake staggers Ray but a double clothesline doesn’t even put him down. His double clothesline puts the alliterative pair down though and it’s the hot tag to Booker T to clean house. The Big Apple Blast (Hart Attack with a Harlem Side Kick instead of a clothesline) is enough to pin Tom.
Rating: D. Total squash here which took me back to 1995. Harlem Heat was a good team but they didn’t need to be going after the belts again here. I like having Disorderly Conduct around as a jobber team though as they seem like the kind of team that could possibly score an upset someday but never had any real chance.
The Windhams run in and are quickly dispatched. After a break, the Windhams vs. Harlem Heat for the titles again at Fall Brawl is announced.
Scotty Riggs vs. Prince Iaukea
Riggs jumps Iaukea at the bell as Tenay talks about a golf tournament. Iaukea comes back with a quick enziguri and we’re in a chinlock less than a minute into the match. Oh yeah this is going to be quick. Back up and Riggs hits his dropkick before choking in the corner. Another dropkick and clothesline get two on the Prince before they head outside for even more dull stuff. Just because you go to the floor it doesn’t make your match interesting. Back in and Iaukea misses a high cross body, setting up a Fameasser to give Riggs the fast pin. Thankfully it’s too short to rate, meaning I didn’t have to be bored for very long.
CALL THE HOTLINE!
Ad for Cat-Bo, a parody of Tae-Bo. This was kind of funny so points for that.
Here’s the Cat to challenge….Hogan. That goes nowhere so he promises he can whip Goldberg.
The Cat vs. Goldberg
Miller gets in a superkick with the red shoes. He then gets speared and Jackhammered for the pin in about thirty seconds. Goldberg has his original theme back too and it really does work better than Crush Em.
Goldberg vs. Page video.
Hogan vs. Sting video.
Sid Vicious vs. Perry Saturn
Sid mocks Saturn to start but he might just be asking if Saturn wants to get some cheesecake after the show. Saturn ducks a right hand and low bridges Sid to the floor but the big man casually punches and chokes him down. Back up and Saturn scores with three straight superkicks and a clothesline to send Sid outside. I’m shocked he’s getting in this much offense. That offense ends though as Sid catches his plancha and drops Saturn across the barricade to take over for the first time.
Back in and Saturn nails a quick dropkick but the sunset flip is countered into a chokeslam for….no cover. No word on if that counts as a win or not but in WCW world it probably gives Sid another three victories. That’s actually not the worst story in the world but when it’s at the expense of half the roster, the value takes quite a hit. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Saturn fights up, only to have his cross body countered into a World’s Strongest Slam for two. Saturn makes another comeback and hammers away in the corner, drawing in Steiner for the DQ.
Rating: D+. Saturn’s offense looked good and I’m actually shocked they didn’t have Saturn do the clean job here. It’s almost like they’re protecting the young guys instead of just jobbing them every chance they can get. I’m sure that’s coming later, but it’s nice to get a breather from the same stuff over and over again.
Speaking of getting a break, Sid loads up the powerbomb but Malenko comes in for the save with the TV Title belt. The rest of the Revolution runs out and cleans house. Notice how WCW makes sure that it takes four young guys to get rid of two big stars, which means young guys are ganging up on the old ones and even used a weapon to take them out. This story is pretty backwards when you think about it. A standoff ends the show.
Overall Rating: D. Well the booking was less frustrating tonight, but my goodness could they make it any more clear that they’ve just given up on the Thursday night battle in just a week? Sid vs. Saturn in a five minute match is the best they can give us for the main event? The matches were mostly short though and that makes things a bit easier to get through, but it’s still low level stuff and some of the most boring wrestling I’ve seen in a long time.
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Monday Nitro – August 30, 1999: Yes We’re Still On This
Monday Nitro #203 Date: August 30, 2015
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 10,605
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone
We’re two weeks away from Fall Brawl and I don’t think we’ve had any matches announced yet. What we do have though is Sid Vicious as the focal point of the company and Sting, Hogan and Goldberg suddenly as best friends against the combination of Sid and Rick Steiner. I keep thinking this show can’t get worse but they keep surprising me. Let’s get to it.
Disorderly Conduct vs. Dave Taylor/Steven Regal
Yes we’re starting with a match and just bring in Sid already. Mike jumps Regal to start but gets taken down by a drop toehold. It’s off to Taylor vs. Tom with Dave hooking a butterfly suplex….and here he comes.
Four powerbombs to Mike and Tom later and Sid is still ranting about being the Millennium Man.
Lenny and Lodi aren’t allowed in the building until Lenny reminds security that he’s the Cruiserweight Champion. It’s not funny or interesting when you watch it either.
Recap of last week’s major events.
Nitro Girls.
Time for a Sid discussion as Tony compares his streak to Goldberg’s. Goldberg won the US Title in his 75th match, even though Sid is now up in the 80s. Thankfully that means they won’t be stupid enough to have him beat Benoit for the title or anything like that……right?
The Demon will be here later.
Here’s Luger to say he doesn’t buy Hogan’s turn around. Tonight he’ll show irrefutable evidence that Hogan is lying.
Berlyn arrives with security and his version of Lana.
Video on KISS and the Demon.
Scotty Riggs vs. Lash LeRoux
Riggs takes him up to the ropes and smacks Lash in the face as the mind warped fans want Sid. Scotty nails that great dropkick but gets monkey flipped over for his efforts. A jawbreaker and running knee keep Lash in trouble as it’s clear to see why neither of these guys went anywhere. Lash gets two off a sunset flip but takes a pair of clotheslines. Cue Vampiro and the Clowns to watch as Lash gets two more off a northern lights suplex, only to eat a Fameasser for the pin.
Rating: D-. So they interrupt Regal and Taylor after about two minutes but this match gets twice that long? Neither of these guys give me any reason to keep watching, which is exactly why they’re on in the unopposed hour designed to make people stick around when Raw comes on. WCW really needed some major roster cuts around this time to get rid of a bunch of these guys.
Vampiro says Riggs owes him something.
Here’s the Revolution, now with their own shirts. After a lame attempt to get the crowd to care from Shane, Saturn issues a challenge for the TV Title at Fall Brawl and Benoit issues an open challenge for the same show. I really don’t see this ending well for either guy.
Nitro Girls.
Kaz Hayashi vs. Lodi
Lenny’s Cruiserweight Title now has a bow and tassels. He also seems to have a thing for Kaz, which Lodi is totally cool with. Lodi accidentally clotheslines Lenny to the floor, allowing Kaz to botch a headscissors. A slingshot DDT looks far better and gets two with Lenny putting the foot on the ropes. With the match starting to go well, we get a split screen countdown clock for the Mayhem video game, which comes out in October. This will stay up for about half the match.
That earns him a big dive from Hayashi but Lodi gets up and dives onto both of them. Could this be, dare I say, a sign of things to come for Lodi? Back in and Lodi powerslams him for two but Kaz escapes a German suplex and scores with a quick brainbuster. Kaz goes up but Lenny crotches him down, setting up a middle rope bulldog for two more. Lenny comes in…..and gets small packaged for the pin? Sure why not.
Rating: C. So let me make sure I’ve got this straight: they managed to job the Cruiserweight Champion in a match he wasn’t even in? Even WWE can’t pull off that kind of nonsense. The match was actually entertaining with Lodi more than keeping up with the high flier Hayashi. It would seem that Kaz is going to challenge for the title next. That’s fine based on his skills, but this is a pretty big downgrade from Kidman, Mysterio, Guerrera and Guerrero.
Lenny and Lodi lay Kaz out post match.
Here’s Hogan to a massive New York reaction. I’ll give the old WWF towns this: they’re the most loyal fans in the world. If you’re ever over there, you will be until the end of time. It was his son that made him believe in the power of Hulkamania again brother and he would NEVER stab Sting in the back. He can’t wait to see this proof from Luger, so he’ll be sitting in the back, eating fruit (his words) and waiting. Luger better not try to frame him either.
Hogan and Flair have new home videos. I only mention this because a piano starts playing, distracts them, and then stops abruptly.
La Parka/Blitzkrieg vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Eddie Guerrero
Eddie’s stoic look during Rey’s high energy entrance makes me chuckle. La Parka’s skeleton is red and he starts with Mysterio. First up though, it’s time to dance. Rey slaps La Parka in the face and sends him to the floor, bringing in Eddie to throw his partner to the floor for a tornado DDT. Blitzkrieg takes Eddie down and hits a rolling senton followed by a moonsault for two, only to walk into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for the same. Back to Mysterio for a Lionsault on Blitzkrieg before he pulls La Parka down by the mask. A chop puts Rey down and a Hart Attack with Blitzkrieg kicking Rey instead of clotheslining him gets two.
Vampiro and the Clowns come out again as heel miscommunication allows the hot tag to Eddie. Everything breaks down and Eddie hits a gorgeous top rope hurricanrana to Blitzkrieg. Blitzkrieg misses a handspring into a moonsault and gets caught on the top, allowing Eddie to launch Rey into another hurricanrana. Eddie tosses Rey over the top onto La Parka, setting up the Frog Splash to Blitzkrieg for the pin.
Rating: B. Really, really fun tag match here which somehow didn’t even make it four minutes. This continues the trend of letting talented high fliers get into the ring and jump around for a little while. That hurricanrana from Eddie was absolutely perfect and some of the high flying looked great. And somehow it’s all designed to get the Clowns over, because WCW.
Berlyn video, followed by Berlyn and his Lana (Uta Ludendorf), flanked by security. Through the interpreter, Berlyn brags about Germany being awesome and says his wrestling is art. Fan: “WE WANT ALEX WRIGHT!” It’s so loud that everyone in the ring looks over at him. A consortium of German businessmen have turned him into the perfect wrestler and his first victim is Buff Bagwell.
Buff represents everything bad about America and will be a good first victory. The interpreter acknowledges that Berlyn speaks English and has indeed been here before, but that language is beneath him. She forgets her line and says losing is…….it is not acceptable! She’s no Lana.
Fall Brawl video, featuring Savage, Nash, Hart and Steiner.
A banged up Luger comes out and says someone in red and yellow attacked him and went through his bags. No word on if the evidence was taken, or why Lex Luger is in a major storyline in 1999.
Tag Team Titles: Kendall Windham/Barry Windham vs. Prince Iaukea/Kenny Kaos
This would be the WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE THEY THINKING AND WHERE IS THE REMOTE match of the week. Kendall takes Prince up to the ropes as Tony describes the champs as a new duo. That’s up there with Gorilla Monsoon calling Carlos Colon a youngster. Iaukea fires off a quick dropkick but eats a boot to the face. A jumping DDT knocks Prince silly and Kendall throws him outside. Back in and a knee drop retains the titles. No one ever made a tag.
Post match Barry says the champs have no competition, including Harlem Heat. This brings out Booker and Stevie for a lot of kicks, one leading to the referee counting a pin on Kendall. The Rednecks come out and beat down Harlem Heat, including hog tying Booker. The feud continues for some reason.
Here are Luger and Sting to present Lex’s evidence. The evidence is a picture of Hogan standing next to a white Hummer, proving that he was the one that tried to kill Nash. We’re still on that story??? Hogan comes out and says the obvious, that this doesn’t prove anything. Sting believes Luger and questions Hogan, but here’s DDP to nail Hogan before running off. Sting asks Hogan why he should believe him.
Nitro Girls.
Van Hammer vs. Buff Bagwell
The bell rings and that means it’s time to pose. Buff grabs an armdrag and we’ve got Germans. The distraction lets Hammer choke Bagwell (to be fair though, anything shiny, including Berlyn’s head, is going to distract him) but Buff scores with a hiptoss and clothesline. Buff goes up top and gets slammed down from the top by the neck. That’s quite the painful looking move. They head outside for a quick beating from Hammer before we hit the chinlock. Our hero hits Hammer low and gets two off a cross body, setting up the Blockbuster for the pin.
Rating: D. So let me make sure I have this straight: we’re supposed to care about a guy who used a Blockbuster to win a boxing match beating a guy who used to be a peace loving hippie to set up for his match against what might be a Neo Nazi and used to be a dancer. This is one of those stories that you don’t want to see, and then when you explain it, your head starts to hurt.
Clip of Nash being crushed by the Hummer, nearly three months ago.
Insane Clown Posse CD ad.
Mike Enos vs. Evan Karagias
For some reason Evan wears jeans to the ring and takes them off to wrestle. Evan scores with a pair of dropkicks to start and a third sends Enos to the floor where Karagias hits a fourth dropkick. His springboard dive is caught in midair though and Mike throws him over the shoulder to walk him up the steps and back into the ring. That kind of power display is always impressive. Granted it’s not as impressive as knowing how many seconds there are until Mayhem comes out.
The fans are begging Sid to come out and end this match. Well Enos was in the match when Hall jumped the railing to debut so why not have Sid do it here? Evan hammers away and gets countered into a big powerbomb followed by a powerslam. Mike picks him up off the cover though and hits a wicked piledriver. Good grief Vampiro and the Clowns are back. The Clowns distract the referee, allowing Vampiro to kick Mike in the head, giving Karagias the pin.
Rating: D+. The match wasn’t even that bad but my goodness I don’t want to see Vampiro and the Clowns any more. They’ve been out here three times now and we had to see them plug their CD. At the end of the day, they’re not wrestlers and they’re not driving the ratings through the roof, so why does WCW insist on driving them down our throats and give them all this TV time?
Vampiro gets in his face and says Evan owes him. Cue the Demon, who says this isn’t the time for Vampiro. Do they even know what this is supposed to mean?
Hugh Morrus/Brian Knobbs vs. Dean Malenko/Shane Douglas
Because this feud needs to keep going. Knobbs calls the Revolution a bunch of crybabies and you know it’s time for a fight. The First Family takes over and give Douglas the Pit Stop. Morrus and Knobbs hit running splashes in the corner until Dean comes in, presumably out of boredom. Everything breaks down and Malenko puts Brian in the Cloverleaf, only to have to deal with Jimmy Hart. Morrus and Knobbs take Dean down on the floor but Hugh misses No Laughing Matter to Douglas. Shane even dives off the top to take out all the heels but it winds up being a double countout.
Rating: D. WHY IS THE REVOLUTION FEUDING WITH THE FIRST FREAKING FAMILY??? You have the Windhams as the Tag Team Champions (which is an even bigger headscratcher) talking about how they have no competition, but Malenko and Douglas, one of the only face teams on the roster not names Harlem Heat, is busy going to double countouts with Brian Knobbs and Hugh Morrus. We could also have Mysterio and Guerrero challenge for the titles, but they’re busy fighting a pair of non-wrestler Clowns. The more I step back and look at this company, the more my head throbs.
They keep fighting to the back and I hope this doesn’t go on to Fall Brawl.
Gene brings out Hogan to continue this thrilling story about him standing next to a car at some point in his life. He mentions his son (who should never be allowed near a car) and promises to deal with Luger next week. Instead, he wants to deal with DDP calling him out every week. He’s right you know. Starting with this show, Page has…..actually he didn’t call him out as much as hit him from behind. Hogan is a liar. Anyway, Goldberg is supposed to face Page tonight but Hogan wants to take his place in the match. Goldberg comes out and suggests a handicap match, which Page comes out to accept. Another bait and switch.
TV Title: Disco Inferno vs. Rick Steiner
Before the match, Disco says he’s living la vida loca and is pretty fly for a white guy. Dang 1999 was a weird time. Rick comes out and decks Disco with a Steiner Line before ripping at his face. The German suplex sends Disco flying and the Steiner Bulldog ends this in a hurry.
Steiner puts on the armbar but Saturn runs out to superkick the champ to the floor.
US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Jerry Flynn
Jerry wants the champ to be checked for weapons but it’s a RUSE as he kicks Benoit in the head. Another kick is countered by the dragon screw leg whip because Benoit doesn’t put up with cheating. He drops Flynn over the top rope to send him outside, setting up a nice baseball slide. Jimmy Hart offers a distraction to keep earning his paycheck and Flynn kicks the champ’s knee to take over. He unleashes the kicks but Benoit avoids a big running boot in the corner and fires off chops. Benoit rolls some Germans but the First Family runs in for the DQ.
Rating: D+. So the Revolution vs. the First Family is more than just the tag feud? Great, the stupidity is spreading. Here’s the thing: you have three members of the First Family in action tonight and they all escape without getting pinned or submitting? Including to the United States Champion? How does this make me care about seeing them again? Am I supposed to care about Hugh Morrus, Brian Knobbs and Jerry Flynn? This company’s priorities are so screwed up.
The Revolution makes the save and Benoit challenges Sid for Fall Brawl. So much for the open challenge.
Goldberg/Hulk Hogan vs. Jersey Triad
Buffer does the intros and Kanyon does his usual schtick. Bigelow hammers Hogan down to start, like 1987 means nothing to him. Hulk comes back with right hands and the Triad is knocked to the floor. The fans want and get Goldberg, who gets to suplex Kanyon. A gorilla press into a World’s Strongest Slam crushes Kanyon again but a Bigelow distraction lets Page come in with a top rope clothesline.
Bigelow pounds away on his back as the Triad starts taking turns. Kanyon’s Russian legsweep into an elbow from Page is good for two, but Goldberg comes back with a double clothesline. The hot tag brings in Hogan to clean house as Tony acts like this has never been done before. Hogan boots and legdrops Bigelow for the pin as Page hits Goldberg with a chair and a Diamond Cutter. Goldberg pops up and Page is terrified.
Rating: D. Here’s the problem with this match: did it ever feel like Hogan or Goldberg couldn’t beat these three on their own? This was just a workout for Goldberg and Hogan before they can get on to something more important. It really shows the gap between the levels of competition as the main event scene is miles ahead of even former World Champions like Page. This was a glorified squash with Goldberg being nice enough to sell for about a minute.
We jump to the back where Sting is asking security if Hogan is in his locker room. My goodness I know Sting is seen as stupid at times but this is ridiculous. Anyway he goes into Hogan’s locker room to find Randy Savage and Gorgeous George to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. More than any other episode, this show was incredibly frustrating and showed that WCW doesn’t care about going forward as much as it cares about keeping the old guys happy. There are so many talented people locked in feuds designed to either keep them busy so they can’t move up the card (Revolution) or so they can babysit niche celebrities who want to wrestle (Eddie and Rey).
On the other side of the card, there’s the story of who was driving the Hummer and is Hogan really evil. That actually isn’t the worst story in the world and I’m kind of interested in seeing where it goes. The problem I have with it is how Lex Luger is the only person showing the slightest bit of common sense or continuity. Hogan has screwed over every major name on the roster at some point (the Fingerpoke of Doom and beatdown of Goldberg was less than eight months ago) and no one but Luger is questioning Hogan whatsoever. That’s hard to accept, at least so quickly.
Overall, the company is running out of gas and is dying for some fresh blood at the top. However, they’re content with Hogan, Goldberg (who is fresh enough), Sting, Steiner and Sid as their top names while the rest of the roster is shackled to whatever stupid stories they can come up with. It’s very clear that Benoit is going to drop the US Title to Sid, because Benoit’s push was clearly just until WCW could find a way to get the title back into the main event talent’s hands so they could “draw” with it. You can see the future coming from here and it’s terrifying.
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Thunder Date: August 26, 1999
Location: Municipal Coliseum, Lubbock, Texas
Attendance: 6,928
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko
The date might ring a bell for you because Smackdown is making its debut (other than the pilot) at the same time this show aired. WCW feigned interest in this show by booking two big matches: Harlem Heat vs. Brian Knobbs/Hugh Morrus and Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn vs. Sid Vicious/Rick Steiner. In other words, yes, WCW thought Rick Steiner and Sid Vicious were real draws. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Public Enemy vs. Sid Vicious
Yes, Sid is doing a double shot tonight. Rocco bails into the corner to start, leaving Grunge to go after Sid on his own. A big boot drops Johnny and clotheslines drop both he and his partner. Sid takes his time chopping and choking both guys before ramming their heads together. This show needs Heenan to make the joke about how that wouldn’t hurt Public Enemy. Sid isn’t phased by a double clothesline and a double chokeslam ends this quick.
Same Coach Buzz Stern clip from last week.
West Texas Rednecks vs. Filthy Animals
Six man tag with Konnan and Hennig on the floor. The Rednecks don’t have the title belts here because this is taped in advance and WCW just needed to have this match here to mess up continuity. Rey and Kendall get things going with Windham raking the eyes and snapmaring Mysterio down.
Back up and Rey turns on the speed, sliding under the ropes and hitting a nice springboard Thesz press. He hammers away in the corner but Kendall catches him in an atomic drop and tags in Barry. I still can’t get over that Barry Windham is in his second title reign in 1999. Kidman comes in as well for some dropkicks until Barry sends him to the floor instead of, you know, wrestling him. Eddie distracts the referee by mistake and the Rednecks triple team Kidman.
Barry slams Kidman him a few times and it’s off to Duncum for a clothesline, a shoulder breaker, and another clothesline. I’m starting to see why he never went anywhere. Off to Kendall for a big boot before it’s back to Barry, who walks into a Bodog as we take a break. Back with Barry taking Eddie down with a jawbreaker, setting up a belly to back superplex from Kendall. Duncum throws Eddie to the floor for a beating as this match is somehow dragging about seven minutes in.
Barry hits the superplex that used to have Ric Flair in major trouble but only gets two here. Back up and Eddie grabs a quick headscissors, allowing the hot tag to Mysterio. Rey speeds things up with a sunset flip and Kidman adds a cross body to put Duncum down for two. Not a bad spot actually. Everything breaks down and Hennig pulls Rey outside, only to eat a baseball slide from Kidman. Eddie kicks Barry low, setting up the springboard hurricanrana from Mysterio for the pin.
Rating: D+. The ending was better, but the Rednecks are the least interesting group of heels I’ve seen in years. They’re working the old southern style which can work well against high fliers, but the Windhams and Duncum are just not very good. Kendall and Duncum never went anywhere and Barry hasn’t been worth watching in at least eight years. Boring match here that could have been a lot better with more talented heels.
The Rednecks beat on the Animals until Harlem Heat makes the save.
Call the Hotline!
In case two matches weren’t enough, here are Sid and Steiner for a chat. The now 74-0 Sid says he and Steiner are the pioneers of WCW. Indeed they were about ten years ago. They’ve been hearing a bunch of midgets talking about starting a revolution. The two of them are going to enforce their policies, and the first one is to not let the revolution get started. They’ve already taken out Hogan, Sting and Goldberg so the Revolution should be no problem.
Berlyn is still coming.
Cat vs. Prince Iaukea
Miller is in a cowboy hat and says he’s the sheriff around here. Oh geez there’s a bad comedy sketch in there somewhere. Cue Prince, but Miller wants the singer. After some Purple Rain references, Miller says he can beat Iaukea in less than three minutes. The Prince starts fast and knocks Miller to the floor, where Cat threatens to walk out.
With Prince’s back turn, Miller tries to dive back in but lands at Prince’s feet in a funny bit. Normally that would be a problem but Iaukea is so horrible on offense that Cat kicks him down twice and drops the dancing elbow. The sequence works so well that he tries it again but the elbow misses this time. A dropkick and Samoan drop are good for two but Onoo puts Miller’s foot on the ropes. Prince, ever the nitwit, yells at Sonny and gets kicked with the ruby slipper for the pin at 2:59.
Harlem Heat vs. Hugh Morrus/Brian Knobbs
This was supposed to be for the titles but Harlem Heat lost them on Monday, so the entrances are edited out and everyone is in the ring for a big brawl to start. Things settle down to Brian clubberin on Booker until Booker realizes that he actually has talent and kicks Knobbs in the face. It’s off to Stevie vs. Morrus with Ray getting stomped down in the corner. Stevie elbows everyone in sight and tags out to Booker before he has to actually do something.
Booker won’t stand for that though as he fires off a few kicks before handing it back off to Stevie. A cheap shot from Knobbs lets the villains take over and Booker dealing with Jerry Flynn makes it even worse. Knobbs splashes Stevie in the corner and it’s off to Morrus for a chinlock. After two and a half arm drops, Stevie fights up but charges into a knee in the corner. Brian comes in for a double shoulder block but charges into a boot in the corner. There’s still no tag though as Morrus comes in and decks Booker like a good partner.
More double teaming ensues with Hugh tripping Stevie so Knobbs can drop an elbow. We hit a chinlock before more double teaming goes badly for the First Family as Knobbs misses a charge. Booker comes in off the hot tag and cleans house with a bunch of kicks as everything breaks down. With the referee losing track of everything, Flynn low bridges Booker to the floor, just as Stevie sends Knobbs outside. Flynn kicks Morrus by mistake, setting up Booker’s missile dropkick for the pin.
Rating: D-. I know I said the Rednecks were dull in the ring but they’re Lou Thesz and Kurt Angle compared to Morrus and Knobbs. The match was dull with everyone waiting on Booker to get the hot tag. I don’t know what Booker is supposed to get out of pinning Hugh Morrus, but I guess since he’s associated with Jimmy Hart and Brian Knobbs it makes him the second coming of Jerry Sags? I’m not sure if that’s an insult to Morrus or not.
This Week in WCW Motorsports.
More Coach Sawyer, this time with him making his students lift weights.
Disorderly Conduct vs. Dean Malenko/Shane Douglas
Another freaking tag match. Shane gets taken down by Mean Mike’s wristlock to start but nips up and takes Mike into the corner. Much like Stevie, Shane wants his partner to do most of the actual wrestling, though he does help with a double suplex. Malenko stomps on Mike in the corner before drop toeholding him down, setting up a Douglas elbow. Di….did the Revolution just lift a spot from Knobbs and Morrus???
Tom gets in a cheap shot from the apron and a double hot shot puts Shane down. Disorderly Conduct basically does the same things the First Family did in the previous match because seeing it once just wasn’t enough. A front facelock doesn’t go anywhere so Tom heads up, only to get pulled down into an atomic drop and the belly to belly suplex. Malenko comes in and cleans house, setting up a quick leg lariat and the Cloverleaf makes Tom tap.
Rating: D. Well at least it was shorter than the previous match. This show is bordering on a disaster with all the lame tag matches and nothing interesting happening. Shane and Dean are a decent tag team, but I’d like to see them do something of note. I mean, we can’t have them fight the cowboys and win the titles of course because that might be good for them, but there has to be something out there.
Insane Clown Posse video.
Clip of Saturn vs. Steiner from last week.
DDP comes out and says he wants to beat up Goldberg, Hogan and Sting to get the title back. This took three minutes.
Diamond Dallas Page vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.
Haven’t seen Chavo in awhile. Page makes a Free Willy joke about Chavo’s mom, but Chavo says Page’s mom freed Free Willy. So Page’s mom is a 10 year old boy? It must make sense to Page as he lunges at Chavo in the corner and catches him with a tilt-a-whirl slam. Chavo gets sent to the floor and into then over the barricade. Page changes his mind and throws Chavo back inside and we take a break. We couldn’t take a break in the tag matches?
Back with Chavo trying to speed things up but walking into a spinebuster. A wicked spinning Rock Bottom gets two as Page picks him up off the mat. Page chokes a lot and nails Chavo with a right hand to block a sunset flip. The fireman’s carry into a Diamond Cutter ends this massacre.
Rating: C-. Yeah that’s high but Chavo took some good bumps and I’m a fan of the TKO. I’m assuming they’re building Page up for a match at Fall Brawl, even though he’s been a tag guy for months now. This wasn’t anything interesting but I’ll take an extended squash over another dull midcard tag match.
Sid Vicious/Rick Steiner vs. Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn
Sid threatens to leave if the crowd isn’t completely quiet. Right. The brawl starts on the floor until Benoit takes Sid up to the apron. Steiner breaks up Chris’ suplex attempt to give the old guys control, only to have Benoit counter a clothesline into the Crossface on Sid. You know Sid isn’t going to tap out so Steiner makes the save and we’re already in the chinlock.
Back up and for once, the good guys actually cheat from the apron with Saturn kicking Rick in the back of the head before coming in off the tag. I can’t quite say it’s a hot tag this early in the match. Sid tries to save his dog faced buddy, only allowing Benoit and Saturn to destroy Steiner even more. Benoit grabs an armbar but Sid copies Saturn and nails Chris from the apron. Steiner does his face grab and we take a break.
Back with the villains taking turns choking until Sid puts on a camel clutch. Steiner comes back in and takes Benoit down with a nice amateur move (I’m as shocked as you are) before putting on an ankle lock. He sends Benoit outside for a beating from Sid before the big man puts on a chinlock. Chris fights to his feet and makes his comeback by actually slamming Sid.
Benoit runs to the top for the Swan Dive but Sid rolls away to put both guys down. It’s a double tag to Saturn and Steiner with Perry taking over and hitting his nice springboard clothesline on Sid. Steiner gets tired of not beating people up though and decks Saturn, only to get caught in the Crossface. Sid powerbombs Saturn at the same time though and kicks the referee in the head. Charles Robinson runs in and counts the pin on Saturn.
Rating: C-. The comeback was good but WHY ARE SID AND RICK STEINER BEATING THE REVOLUTION??? We sat through Sid beating former World Tag Team Champions on his own and then he and Steiner team up to beat the US Champion and Saturn? While HHH is defending the WWF World Title against the Rock no less. I keep looking at these matches and wondering how they can validate these decisions and I can’t fathom that they just keep going with it.
Sid powerbombs Benoit to make sure you know he’s better than the US Champion too. Malenko and Douglas run out and for some reason Sid doesn’t get to destroy them as well.
Overall Rating: S. For shaking my head, which I was actually doing after watching this show. Sid Vicious had two wins and a promo in the span of two hours and for what? To build him up to get beaten by Goldberg in the second biggest match on a pay per view? That’s why we’re sitting through this Sid mega push? WCW is willing to crush its Cruiserweight division and probably the midcard for the sake of building up an opponent for Goldberg. I’ve heard of cutting off your nose to spite your face, but this is ridiculous.
Speaking of Goldberg, where was he tonight? Or Hogan or Sting for that matter? They certainly weren’t here, because why would WCW need the three most popular guys in the company on a night when the WWF, who has beaten them eight months in a row now, is debuting its version of Thunder with a World Title match in the main event?
To put this in perspective, when Smackdown moved back to Thursday nights and wanted to put on something special, Daniel Bryan opened and closed the show. When WCW was putting out its big guns to draw a good rating (which you could tell was happening since they had matches announced in advance), not only did they screw one of them up by having the defending champions lose the belts early (because they clearly couldn’t have lost them here), they put Sid on to open and close the show. Therefore, WCW in 1999 views Sid Vicious as their Daniel Bryan. I never thought I would say that, but it seems to be the case.
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Monday Nitro – August 23, 1999: Keep It Simple Stupid
Monday Nitro #202 Date: August 23, 1999
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 8,940
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone
It’s the KISS show! Yes indeed. After all this time, it’s the most hyped up event WCW has had in months. The band will be performing tonight and this is supposed to be the big weapon to fight back against the fallout from Summerslam 1999. Now to be fair we also have Sting vs. Hulk Hogan for the World Title, which is a major ratings draw. I’m sure that’s why they’re going it for free with one week’s notice instead of at the pay per view. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Sid’s path of destruction. He’s off to a good start too as he’s basically crushed the cruiserweight division in just a few weeks.
KISS video.
There will be a new WCW President announced soon.
Chase Tatum vs. Mikey Whipwreck
Mikey hammers away in the corner but gets his head taken off by a clothesline. Chase….well I can’t say hits because only one foot connected and it was nothing resembling a dropkick, so we’ll say Chase does a disservice to dropkicks everywhere. Thankfully Mikey hits a decent one….and Sid comes out for the powerbombs.
This time is different though as Sid has a guy with signs, counting up the wins on the streak. He winds up being 68-0 by the end of the segment. The worst part is this could be an interesting story but it’s freaking SID doing this stuff.
Kidman runs into Kimberly in the back and apologizes to her for last week’s issues. Kimberly says she’ll calm Page down.
Goldberg arrives and sees Page attacking Kidman, only to have a staredown with the Triad. I thought he was feuding with Sid.
Here’s the Triad for a chat. Page praises Kanyon for helping train him and says Kidman can’t breathe the same air as Kimberly. He wants Goldberg tonight though, because why bother hyping up a match like that? Page promises to blow the roof off of Goldberg. I’m not sure what that means but I have a feeling it’s going to be a letdown compared to Halloween Havoc from last year.
Sting comes out with something to say. He thanks Hogan for the title shot tonight because he’s back in black. Hasn’t he been in black for like three years now? Cue Lex Luger for the first time in months after that brief return in the spring or whenever it was. Luger talks about Sting being there for him when he was recovering from a motorcycle wreck and how Sting is the bedrock of WCW. Everyone is clapping that the red and yellow is back but Luger isn’t buying Hogan being friends with everyone again. Sting thinks Luger should understand this after 14 years: he’s taking Hogan on no matter what. A handshake ends this worthless return.
Tenay is in the parking lot when Bischoff pulls up in a Hummer. Mike asks if Bischoff is going to be the new President but Bischoff laughs him off and asks if Tenay got that rumor off the internet.
Cat vs. Buff Bagwell
Because this needed a rematch. Feeling out process to start with Buff slamming Cat down and dropkicking him to the floor. Back in and Miller kicks him down before hitting his dancing elbow. To really mix things up, Miller tries another dancing elbow bus misses this time. See, he’s versatile! A low blow puts Bagwell down again and throws him to the floor for some Sonny kicks. This brings out Lex Luger of all people to scare Onoo off, meaning we miss the Blockbuster to give Bagwell the pin. Why can’t Sid come out and powerbomb these guys for a change?
Berlyn is coming.
DJ Ran/Nitro Girls.
Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page
This is quite the first hour main event. Bigelow comes out with a trashcan and the Triad starts triple teaming Goldberg early on, only to have Kanyon get ripped in half by a spear. Bam Bam eats a spear as well, sending Page running off. Goldberg challenges him for next week and there’s no match.
Video for the new West Texas Rednecks song Good Old Boys. It’s Jeff Jarrett’s 1996 music with lyrics, which makes me wonder why they didn’t put Jarrett with the Rednecks when he showed up. If a guy from Minnesota can be from West Texas, why not a guy from Nashville?
Nitro Party video. Those are still a thing?
Cruiserweight Title: Lenny Lane vs. Juventud Guerrera
Lane won the belt last week on Thunder and crawls around on all fours to start, because he’s strange you see. Lenny goes behind him to start and thrusts his hips so Juvy kicks him low, because everything for this character has to be related to sex in some way. Some Lodi interference fails so Juvy dives onto him, only to get taken down by a very nice corkscrew dive from the champ. Back in and Lenny….plays with his pigtails and skips around before covering.
We get the idea already WCW. A pair of shoulder breakers and a powerslam get two for Lenny and it’s time for Lodi to get in some shots. The fans think Lenny is gay, which really is the only thing we know about him so what else are they supposed to chant? He plants Juvy with a running Liger Bomb and celebrates with his brother/lover, drawing a much more offensive chant from the fans. Back up and Juvy hits a quick Juvy Driver and loads up the 450, only to have to dive at Sid for the DQ.
Rating: C-. Stop it, please. I mean that on both counts if that’s not clear. Stop the ridiculous gay story with these two and stop having Sid destroy the cruiserweights because they’re nothing more than target practice. We get the idea, but does he have to beat up former and current champions? You can’t have him beat up jobbers or really low level guys instead? Of course not, because this is WCW where ONLY old heavyweights matter.
Sid is the man, powerbombs a go-go, 71-0, thousands of remotes change the channel.
Here are the Rednecks to perform Good Old Boys live. Hennig takes a few shots at KISS, because they’re trying to turn their stupid musical performances and guests into a story.
Nitro Girls.
Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn/Shane Douglas vs. Hugh Morrus/Barbarian/Brian Knobbs
Malenko dropkicks Morrus to start, followed by Shane coming in for a double back elbow. It’s quickly off to Barbarian, who charges into a boot in the corner and eats a middle rope clothesline. Since no one can stay in this match for more than thirty seconds, here are Knobbs and Malenko to keep the slow pace going.
We actually stick with Dean getting beaten up for a bit with everyone hitting some clubbing, yes CLUBBING I SAY, forearms to the back. Knobbs dives into a raised boot and the hot tag brings in Saturn. It’s a superkick and t-bone for Knobbs, but Rick Steiner comes in, walks RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE REFEREE, and bulldogs Saturn to give Knobbs the pin.
Rating: D. So now Steiner is costing the Revolution a match against the First Family. As in the low level stable that should be cannon fodder for Goldberg. I know WCW’s answer is that they gave Benoit the US Title, but do they really need to give the Barbarian and Brian Knobbs a TV win over a team like the Revolution? Again, I’d pay so much to hear them validate this stuff.
Benoit runs out and challenges Steiner for later tonight.
Berlyn is still coming.
Insane Clown Posse vs. Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr.
Shaggy hammers on Kidman to start but eats a dropkick to put him to the floor. A whip into the barricade keeps 2 Dope (I feel so stupid for having to type that) in trouble and it’s off to J. vs. Mysterio. Rey destroys him with ease and hits a quick Bronco Buster on Shaggy, only to get jumped by J. Shaggy gets two off a guillotine legdrop with Kidman making the save. J. heads outside and Rey tries a big flip dive, only to have J. be WAY out of position, leaving Rey to mostly crash. Vampiro breaks up the Shooting Star but Kidman sends Shaggy into Vampiro for the pin.
Rating: D+. Not bad for the most part here and thankfully they didn’t have the Clowns go over the former World Tag Team Champions. This was every major complaint I’ve had about the Clowns wrestling since they debuted and I don’t see it getting better any time soon. Thankfully they kept it short though, which is the best thing you can say about one of these matches.
Eddie comes out for the save.
Here’s Hogan for the big push towards his match with Sting. He doesn’t know why Luger doesn’t trust him and promises to never swerve his family, including Nitro Nick. This was a waste of time.
US Title: Rick Steiner vs. Chris Benoit
Benoit is defending, likely because Steiner isn’t even carrying his belt. Well to be fair, it is worthless remember. Rick slugs him down to start but eats a German suplex to put him down. Serves him right for disgracing a title like that. Benoit dives right into another suplex though and Rick starts his choking/raking the face offense.
The champ (as in the guy who actually wears a belt) is sent ribs first into the buckle but gets his boots up in the corner, setting up some Rolling Germans. He heads up top but Steiner pulls him in the way of the Swan Dive, drawing in Saturn to go after Rick. This brings out Sid to lay out Saturn, because cruiserweights just aren’t enough for him anymore. Benoit chases them off and I guess the match is thrown out.
Rating: C. I’m happy whenever I get to see Steiner dropped on his head over and over as I keep hoping it might beat some sense into him. Thank goodness they didn’t make him a double champion here, which was an actual worry I had during this match. Oh and thank goodness Sid is now involved in I think a fourth story because we just weren’t getting enough of him.
Benoit challenges Sid and Steiner to a match against himself and Saturn for Thunder. Two things:
1. That match was already set up on Thunder.
2. That match will be going head to head with the debut of Smackdown, featuring HHH vs. the Rock for the WWF World Title. Therefore, yes, WCW does think that Sid and Steiner are big enough draws to compete with the WWF’s main event guys. I didn’t want to believe it but somehow, that seems to be the case.
Tag Team Titles: Harlem Heat vs. Barry Windham/Kendall Windham
Stevie reiterates his hatred for fruit booties. Harlem Heat is defending and Booker cranks on Kendall’s arm to start. It’s quickly off to Stevie who gets taken into the Windham corner as Heenan seems to think Barry is Bobby Duncum Jr. Booker comes back in for some double team punching to Barry’s head. There is no energy to this match, likely because the Windhams are such heatless challengers.
Stevie clotheslines both rednecks and everything breaks down. The Windhams nail their stable mates by mistake and Booker ax kicks Kendall, followed by the missile dropkick. There’s no referee though Curt comes in with that stupid cowbell and knocks Booker silly to give Kendall the pin and the titles.
Rating: D-. I’m not sure if I hated the match or the booking more. The match was really dull stuff because Barry doesn’t care and Kendall is Kendall. That being said, who thinks this is a good idea? You reform Harlem Heat and have them drop the belts just a few weeks later, of course with Booker taking the pin because we can’t have Stevie get pinned right?
Vampiro vs. Eddie Guerrero
Tony mentions an upcoming search for a new Nitro Girl which will give us a pretty well known blonde. Eddie gets hammered into the corner to start and thrown across the ring with a good looking release belly to belly suplex. Back up and Guerrero just explodes in the corner with chops and punches away. I’m still trying to figure out why these two are fighting. I know they’ve been fighting for weeks now but I have no idea why and commentary is busy hyping up whatever they can think of to talk about instead of talking about the match.
A spinning kick to the chest drops Eddie again but he comes back with a superplex. He loads up the Frog Splash but we’ve got Clowns. Insane ones at that, and Eddie is so annoyed at them being on the show that he slips off the top instead of diving at them. With J. offering a distraction, Vampiro sends Eddie head first into Shaggy for the pin.
Rating: D+. Can you blame Eddie for leaving soon? He comes back from a major car crash that put him out for months and gets to job to Vampiro for the sake of appeasing some niche celebrities like the Insane Clown Posse? The match wasn’t bad with Vampiro, as in the wrestler instead of the wrestling imitators, getting to show his skills, only to have a lame ending with Eddie going down thanks to Shaggy. Yeah, all those years and the classics with Mysterio but he gets to lose to a guy named after a Scooby-Doo character.
Kidman and Mysterio come out for the save.
Nitro Girls.
WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sting
Hogan is defending of course and this means KISS will be main eventing the show. They shake hands to start because these two have never had a single issue ever. Neither guy can get an advantage off a lockup but they shove each other away and start jawing with each other. Hulk (still called Hollywood by Tony) grabs a wristlock but Sting counters into one of his own. They’re mirroring each other very well so far.
A test of strength gives Hogan control but Sting small packages him for two. Sting fires off right hands in the corner but misses the big elbow that always misses. Both guys head outside for a brawl with Hogan being sent onto the announcers’ table. Sting is being way more aggressive here than usual, which would seem like plans for a heel turn. I can’t help but laugh at this, because turning Sting heel would be like trying to make fans boo the Easter Bunny.
They take it back inside and Sting gets two off a Vader Bomb. Somehow Hogan sells it more than he ever did when Vader himself did it back in 1995. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Hogan Hulks Up, only to miss the big leg. The Stinger Splash connects but a second hits boot. The third hits buckle and Hogan is ready to go, only to have Sid and Steiner come in for the DQ.
Rating: C. The worst part of all this is the match was actually getting good (well as good as these two can get in 1999) until the ending. It wasn’t like the match was over and they ran in to prevent the obvious. In theory this sets up a tag match next week, because we haven’t seen enough of those lately.
This brings up the problem at the moment: Goldberg is feuding with Sid (and apparently the Triad), Steiner is feuding with the Revolution and Hogan doesn’t have a big challenger. In theory it would be Sting challenging at the PPV, but that’s what we just saw here. The non-conclusive ending leaves an opening for a rematch, but I’ve never liked a TV match setting up a major pay per view rematch.
Goldberg and Luger come out for the save, because you need four former World Champions to deal with Sid and RICK STEINER. Hogan offers Sting one more title shot, likely at Fall Brawl.
It’s time for the real main event and Tony promises a brand new KISS inspired wrestler debuting before the end of the show. Schiavone is apparently a huge KISS fan and gets to do their introduction, right around the time that HHH is pinning Mankind to become WWF World Champion. They perform God of Thunder and a spiked coffin is brought out on stage. It opens up to reveal…..Brian Adams in KISS attire. I’ve heard this is the lowest drawing segment in Nitro history and the lowest overall rating for the show since a one hour episode in May 1998.
Overall Rating: D. More Sid, more offensive booking, more referees not needing to be there, more focus on celebrities and not wrestling, more hot shotting of big matches, more young guys getting beaten up by old guys that should be jobbers. In other words, it’s everything wrong with WCW rolled up into one show.
Good Old Boys is a really appropriate name for the entire show. It’s all about pushing the guys that used to be big names because screw anyone that wants to get a push around here. I mean, BARRY WINDHAM as a two time champion in 1999? There are a few interesting things here and there, but I have zero desire to sit through all these horrible things to get the glimmer of hope that WCW won’t destroy them all. I know the destruction is coming, but it’s nice to believe that there’s a chance something might get better.
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Thunder – August 19, 1999: The Things That Matters
Thunder Date: August 19, 1999
Location: Municipal Coliseum, Lubbock, Texas
Attendance: 6,928
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko
Despite it being 1999, we’re somehow watching Sid Vicious Championship Wrestling. This past week on Nitro was all about Sid running in and ruining as many matches as he could before losing the main event by DQ. Somehow this means he’s still undefeated before we get to his showdown with Goldberg to end this streak once and for all. Other than that, we’re building up to Sting vs. Hogan on Nitro on just seven days notice, as opposed to their big match which had fifteen months. Sign of the times indeed. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the new streak (my apologies to RD Evans) which now stands at 61-0.
Silver King vs. Psychosis
Just have him come out right now. King dives at Psychosis and grabs a quick DDT to put Psychosis down. He tries the same thing again but gets caught in the corner, allowing Psychosis to knock him down for a legdrop. The announcers talking about Sid really doesn’t give me much hope for this match’s future. King gets sent out to the floor for a suicide dive but he doesn’t seem to notice all that much. Back in and King plants him with a tilt-a-whirl slam before stopping to dance. Psychosis avoids a moonsault and yeah here’s Sid for the DQ.
Rating: D+. Why do I even bother watching these matches if they just exist for the one main event idea WCW has going on right now? Psychosis and Silver King are just out there wasting time until Sid comes out to do his thing. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere but Silver King wasn’t the best choice to carry a match.
Sid gets on the mic and says this is all because of Goldberg because he wants to be mentioned along with Babe Ruth and Michael Jordan. He’s going to “shake all over” when he reaches Goldberg’s mark. We’re not done with him tonight are we?
CALL THE HOTLINE!
Al Greene vs. Shane Douglas
So now the Revolution gets to rise up above jobbers who somehow once got a World Title shot. Feeling out process to start as they trade arm holds until Greene charges into boots in the corner. Douglas suplexes him down and slaps on a quickly broken chinlock. They head outside for a bit with Greene going into the barricade. I’m sure Shane is so glad he stopped being ECW World Champion to do matches like this one. Back in and we hit another chinlock as I guess Shane is spent after three minutes of work. Greene fights up but eats a clothesline, setting up the Pittsburgh Plunge for the pin.
Rating: D. I’ve never been a fan of Douglas and this really didn’t change my opinion. I really don’t know why I’m supposed to be cheering for him in the first place. He popped up and decided he was part of the Revolution and now he’s on Benoit, Saturn and Malenko’s level? It doesn’t help that he really isn’t on their level in the ring and is just there as a talker.
The West Texas Rednecks will have a new video on Nitro.
Here’s Rick Steiner for a chat. Gene says all of the Revolution wants a shot at the TV Title, but Steiner instead threatens to beat up the Revolution’s mothers. No one can out smart him (well heels are supposed to lie) so tonight there’s an open challenge for any member of the Revolution. Steiner is going to kill one of them isn’t he?
Video on Coach Buzz Stern, which is Glacier in a stupid high school coach gimmick. He’s really tough you see.
Steven Regal/David Taylor/Chris Adams vs. Dave Burkhead/Bobby Blaze/Adrian Byrd
Regal takes Burkhead (I’ve never heard of him either) down to start before bringing Taylor in for a European uppercut and a tag off to Adams. The Brits are moving fast tonight, likely so Sid doesn’t come in and powerbomb them all. Adams and Regal cheat like all evil Englishmen before Chris enziguris Burkhead to the floor. Riveting stuff so far. Regal peppers him with more uppercuts and allows Dave to tag off to Blaze. We get the old spot of Blaze trying a sunset flip and Regal grabbing his partner, only to have Robinson kick the arms apart to give Bobby two.
Taylor beats up Byrd for a bit and the Brits start fast tagging again. Byrd gets choked on the mat by Regal’s knee as Taylor comes in for even more uppercuts. No wonder that move became so common. Blaze tries to come in like the jobber schnook that he is, allowing Byrd to be dragged back to the corner. The sequence is so good that they do it again on the floor…..as Rick Steiner and Sid come out to destroy the jobbers.
Rating: C-. I was kidding when I said they were hurrying before Sid came out! So far, the only thing on this show not related to Sid or Steiner has been the Al Greene match, or about five minutes of the entire show. How can they sit through the meetings setting up this show and think this is the best course of action? I know it’s just a six man squash, but did they really need to do this again? You know Sid isn’t done tonight either.
Sid powerbombs everyone and has Robinson count pins, TWICE. Apparently they represent Goldberg, Hogan and Sting as Sid wants to stand beside Steiner. This is one of the main stories in WCW right now people. Over in WWF we were seeing the rise of HHH to the top of the company, but WCW is offering Sid and Steiner destroying the world.
Berlyn is coming. Sid will powerbomb him too.
Here’s the Revolution with something to say. Douglas takes charge and asks the fans if they’re ready to see a change in WCW. The people in the back are shaking in their boots over these guys and it’s time to take this company back. Saturn promises to beat Steiner tonight and he won’t even have to bite him to get there.
Cruiserweight Title: Lenny Lane vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
Rematch from Monday when Sid interfered. Before the match, Mysterio tells Lenny to tell his boyfriend to ride the Hershey highway all the way back to the funny farm. I’m stunned that didn’t get the gimmick shelved. A series of standing switches starts things off and of course Lenny starts liking it.
Rey hurricanranas him into the ropes and a big suicide dive puts Lenny into the barricade. Back in and the West Coast Pop is dropkicked out of the air, followed by a faceplant for two. Lenny hits a shoulder breaker into a powerslam for two more as Rey is in trouble. Lane is similar to Disco: talented in the ring but no one can see past the gimmick to see how good he is. Lenny prances around the ring and gets sunset flipped for two, only to whip Rey chest first into the buckle.
We go very old school with an airplane spin but Lane is dizzy too. So he’s not only an over the top stereotype but he’s also stupid. Lane goes up top but gets staggered and falls backwards into an atomic drop. He sells it harder than Honky Tonk Man ever dreamed of and backs into referee Johnny Boone in the corner, freaking Boone out because homophobia is funny you see.
Lodi comes in right next to the referee because being homophobic also seems to make you blind. The champ easily dispatches Lodi but stops to pose on the ropes. A guillotine legdrop sends Lenny to the floor and Lodi gets drop toeholded into Lenny’s crotch. Back in and Lenny gets two off a Skull Crushing Finale. He sends Rey into Lodi so they bang heads, allowing Lenny to roll Rey up for the pin and the title.
Rating: B-. The worst part of this is that it was a good match. Lane was a good worker but he’s stuck in this horrible and offensive gimmick and that’s all people are going to remember. I’m so glad Rey finally lost the title because he never defends the thing and the rest of the division is just stuck fighting each other for no prize. Good match, but the spot with the referee was horrible.
The Filthy Animals come out to say “sorry bro. We should have been here to help you but we were too busy trying to understand Konnan’s catchphrases.”
Fall Brawl is coming.
Tag Team Titles: Harlem Heat vs. Scott Norton/Horace
Heat is defending of course. Norton shoves Booker around and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Arm holds go nowhere so it’s off to Stevie for a slam on Horace as we take a break. Back with Booker sending Horace into Norton’s boot and nailing him with the ax kick, only to have Norton keep him from the corner. The slow pace continues as Norton beats Booker down with whatever combination of clotheslines and chops he can come up with. Horace comes back in and breaks up a sunset flip with a rake to the face before tagging back out. This man is getting a paycheck for this work people.
The challengers slowly hammer away on Booker as this is starting to drag. Booker rolls out of Norton’s powerbomb attempt and gets ax handled down to keep him in trouble. Never the brightest guys in the world, Norton and Horace try a double clothesline and get forearmed in the head, allowing for the hot tag to Stevie. Ray cleans house and everything breaks down with Horace planting Stevie with a side slam and splash, but Nick Patrick is with the other two. Everyone gets back in and Stevie whips Horace into Booker’s missile dropkick for the pin.
Rating: D. This was really dull by the end as you knew Horace and Norton weren’t taking the belts and they didn’t have the most thrilling offense. Hopefully they’re done with this Harlem Heat vs. the NWO nonsense soon as it’s a waste of whatever Harlem Heat can do. The match could have been worse, but it was just such dull stuff.
Berlyn is still coming. Nothing has changed in the last hour.
Here’s the First Family with something to say. Hart wants them to win the Tag Team Titles and Flynn actually says the First Family needs no introduction. That would be because no one wants to see them introduced but that’s another story. Barbarian rambles about something that I can’t comprehend a single word of and Knobbs/Morrus issue a challenge for the titles next week.
TV Title: Saturn vs. Rick Steiner
Steiner is defending because WCW lived in a random and chaotic universe. Rick actually does something worthwhile by telling security to throw out a fan that tossed a drink at him. Pesky twerp. The champ drives him to the ropes and hammers away to start and nails a big Steiner Line. It’s already time for the choking because the right hands and the Steiner Line are about all he’s got to start.
Saturn ducks another Steiner Line and kicks him to the floor for some swearing from the champ. Back in and Rick drives him into the corner and chokes even more because Steiner doesn’t know how to do anything else. They head outside with Steiner whipping him into the barricade and steps as we take a break. We really have to come back to this destruction for the sake of pushing Rick Steiner?
Back with Steiner in control because he’s not going to sell like these young schmucks. He rakes Saturn’s eyes and DDTs him before putting on something like a surfboard. Saturn fights up with a neckbreaker and kick to the face, followed by some right hands to the face. Not that it matters as Sid comes out to shove Saturn into a belly to belly for the DQ.
Rating: D. This was a Steiner squash with a thirty second comeback before Sid came out for the DQ. I’ve ranted enough about WCW sacrificing the rest of the entire roster for the sake of pushing Sid and Steiner for whatever reason, so let’s complain about the young guys getting beaten up by Steiner. Does WCW really think that Steiner is the future of this company instead of someone like Saturn? I know Saturn isn’t the second coming of Steve Austin but he’s probably going to be more valuable than Rick “I can’t do anything more than choke and clothesline” Steiner. At least he is in a logical mindset, which isn’t where WCW shines.
Benoit comes out for the save and issues a challenge for next week before the old guys charge and get dispatched. Sid promises to pin both guys twice next week to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. The weird thing here was they actually treated Thunder like something that mattered. We have two matches set up for next week and a title changed hands. When does that EVER happen on Nitro, let alone Thunder? Unfortunately the good things here were dragged down by Sid interfering in literally half the matches. If you get that down to one match at most and keep having things actually matter on this show (and I don’t mean a PPV main event match every week. The stuff they had here was fine), it feels SO much more important and therefore easier to sit through. Just get rid of Sid though. Please.
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