Monday Nitro #201
Date: August 16, 1999
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Attendance: 7,218
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

Road Wild has come and gone and thank goodness for that. It was three hours of bad wrestling with nothing happening and a bunch of celebrities not making enough of a splash to validate taking the spots from the other guys. We’re heading towards Fall Brawl now and I can’t imagine that show being any worse than Road Wild. Somehow I have a feeling I’ll be surprised though. Let’s get to it.

Tony is immediately praising Hogan for his glorious win Saturday. He also throws in that Sid is now 55-0 since returning. I’m guessing the idea is parodying Goldberg’s streak going so high so fast, because why shouldn’t they mock something they came up with and got over so strong? Sid gets a World Title shot tonight.

Stills of Sid beating Sting at the PPV, leading into this match.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Lash LeRoux

They trade crowd reactions to start and I don’t think most of them know who LeRoux is. Feeling out process to start with Lash dropping down into the splits and nailing Juvy with a clothesline. As thrilling as this is, the announcers mention that we’re getting Rick Steiner vs. Brian Knobbs for the TV Title tonight. There are no words. Anyway Juvy loads up a hurricanrana but gets countered into a powerbomb which is countered into a pinfall reversal sequence. I won’t bother telling you who gets the last near fall as Sid comes in to chokeslam Juvy and powerbomb Lash twice.

Sid wants a double cheeseburger with onions. Or maybe Goldberg. You never can tell with his interviews.

Steve Regal vs. Scotty Riggs

Regal knocks him back with a European uppercut, Riggs knees him into the corner, Sid comes down for the usual power moves for the no contest.

Hogan vs. Nash video.

Mike Enos vs. Cat

Miller guarantees victory in less than four minutes. I see no computer or Terri to say that’s correct so I don’t buy this stat. Instead of running away to prove Cat wrong, Enos goes right after him with a clothesline and a very nice powerslam. Despite being a heel, he asks if the fans want to see him punch Miller in the face, allowing Cat to nail him in the throat. Now I know this might shock you, but Cat fires off a bunch of kicks and Enos comes back with a series of generic power moves, including a clothesline and press slam. Sonny offers a distraction and Miller hits a big kick for the pin at 3:39.

Rating: D. Sid run-in, Sid run-in, Cat match. That’s their big way to make us care after the mess at Road Wild. Also, no Bagwell for his revenge after Miller attacked him after their match on Saturday. I do however like Enos as a power guy who does a simple job but does it well. He isn’t going anywhere of course, but he’s a good choice for a match like this, which went about as high as it was going to.

Berlyn is coming.

We cut to the back where Sid is beating up Silver King and La Parka, including powerbombing La Parka onto a bag of popcorn.

Cruiserweight Title: Lenny vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Mysterio is defending for the first time in months. No contact for the first minute and Lenny keeps dancing at Mysterio to play some mind games. He offers Lodi a hug and the champion nails him with a forearm. A reverse powerbomb gets two for Lenny but Rey sends him to the floor and takes Lodi out, only to have Lenny go up for a big corkscrew dive. The fans are actually shocked as that might be the first time Lenny has ever hit a big move. They’re also stunned that Sid comes in AGAIN to lay out all three guys, giving Rey the DQ win.

Sting comes out for the save with Hogan limping behind him. The superheroes clean house and Hogan says Sting can have a title shot next week if he retains the title tonight.

Public Enemy vs. Insane Clown Posse

We’re officially in ECW. We have to be. No other major company could possibly think this is an acceptable idea to air on national television. Raven (in his last television appearance with WCW before walking out when Bischoff offered anyone a release) wants to know where his pyro is. The Clowns jump Public Enemy while they’re stacking tables but are easily knocked to the floor. It’s Shaggy in trouble first with Grunge elbowing him low before a double tag brings in J. and Rocco.

The Violent Clown elbows the Flyboy (I feel like an idiot typing that) before it’s back to Grunge. Raven grabs Johnny’s foot so J. can…..well Tony called it a clothesline but it looked more like Luger’s running forearm smash. Grunge comes back with a double clothesline and the hot tag brings in Rocco to really clean house. A top rope hurricanrana plants Shaggy and it’s table time. Of course Rocco overshoots the table and barely drives Shaggy through it, almost completely missing the bottom table. Not that it matters as the referee gets taken out, allowing Vampiro to Nail Grunge in his Coffin, giving J. the pin.

Rating: D-. Public Enemy isn’t the best team ever. I don’t think it’s a stretch to call them one of the least technically sound mainstream tag teams of all time. The key thing though is they’re actual wrestlers. They’ve been trained and have some experience, but still aren’t all that great. However, they make the Clowns look like the Steiner Brothers circa 1991 because the Clowns aren’t wrestlers. They’re as qualified to be wrestlers as 7 year olds pretending to be police are qualified to patrol the streets. At least the Filthy Animals could carry a match, but this was horrible.

DJ Ran is back. Joy.

Nitro Girls. A bit more actual joy.

Here’s Harlem Heat in street clothes for a chat. They’re back together after Stevie got tired of being with four “fruit booties who couldn’t get the job done.” An open challenge is issues and Booker promises to “turn this mutha out.” I really think this speaks for itself.

Berlyn is here in two weeks.

We get what’s left of the Black and White for the first time in a good while. Horace accepts the challenge for tonight, which actually makes sense for a change. Norton promises to take care of Stevie Ray. Adams says he and Vincent will challenge Harlem Heat tonight….and the team beats him down for no apparent reason, ripping the t-shirt off his back.

Okerlund brings out Kidman for a chat and calls him a chick magnet. Gene Okerlund should not know what a chick is. Kidman says that he, Konnan, Guerrero and Mysterio are a bunch of filthy animals that love to party and chase the chicks (it sounds better coming from him). In a TOTALLY spontaneous line that is in no way designed to set up the next match, Gene asks if Kidman has seen the Nitro Girls pay per view. Of course he has and Kimberly is his favorite Nitro Girl. Cue DDP to start spelling respect before he slaps Kidman in the face and plants him with a spinning Rock Bottom.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kidman

A snapmare sends Kidman across the ring and Page slowly stomps away. An elbow drop with some shouts to the fans (the People if you will) gets two for Page but Kidman snaps off a headscissors. That’s the extent of his offense for now though as Page kicks the knee out to kill the crowd again. The helicopter bomb plants him again but Page pulls up at two. Tony forgets the name of the referee Page laid out at Road Wild and just trails off in the middle of his sentence. That might be better for all of us. Page loads up a fireman’s carry for the Diamond Cutter but Kidman spins out into a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. This was an angle instead of a match but they still managed to be dull in the process. Kidman was treated like a guy way out of his league here, continuing this stupid idea that cruiserweights are nothing compared to the bigger guys. I’m assuming this leads to the Triad vs. the Animals, which wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world. It’s not a good idea mind you but it could be worse.

Page Diamond Cuts both guys to negate the upset. Kimberly has to come out and call Page off.

Here’s the Disco Inferno to declare himself a superstar, a sex symbol and an icon. The Filthy Animals have been calling him every day because he’s the future of this company. Cue Benoit to say prove it.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Disco Inferno

Benoit immediately takes him down with a hard chop and the big belly to back suplex. A dropkick puts Disco down again and Benoit is on a roll. The Crossface sends Disco running to the floor and the fans are all fired up for the first time all night. Back in and Disco nails his swinging neckbreaker and clothesline, followed by the middle rope elbow and Russian legsweep.

They head outside with Benoit going into the steps, but Disco stops to dance. You can’t say he isn’t dedicated. He sends the champ into the barricade and gets in a bit more dancing. Back in and Benoit flips out of a belly to back suplex before planting him with a German suplex. Disco’s Last Dance is countered and the Three Amigos knock Disco sillier (but doesn’t mess with a bit of that hair). Benoit Swan Dives him to retain the title.

Rating: C+. As usual, when you give Disco the right opponent, he can pull off a pretty decent match. I was hoping for one of those jumping piledrivers to really make this close, but what else can you ask for from a five minute match on a show featuring celebrity clowns? It’s also nice to see Benoit survive his first title defense as this company wouldn’t shock me if they jobbed him out immediately.

Goldberg vs. Barry Windham

All of the Rednecks but Hennig are out with Barry. Goldberg beats up all of the seconds and pins Barry in thirty seconds with the usual. Well he’s back.

KISS is still coming. They’re seriously going through with it.

Horace/Vincent/Scott Norton vs. Harlem Heat

Non-title. Stevie throws Vincent around to start but botches a press slam, nearly dropping Vincent on his face. It’s off to Norton vs. Booker with Stevie staying in for a double back elbow. That’s it for Flash as he brings in Horace. You know, I remember about three years ago when Hall, Nash and Hogan were taking over the company and wrestling world. Somehow that’s evolved into this trio fighting in a dull tag match and getting beaten up 3-2. Booker drops Horace with kicks but goes after Vincent to give Horace a breather.

That’s enough of the talent though so it’s back to Stevie who kicks Horace in the face. Why overcomplicate the offense? The cheap excuses for the NWO get in some cheap shots from the apron, allowing Horace to take over with a DDT. A big shoulder sends Stevie down and the NWO starts taking turns. Norton loads up the powerbomb but here’s Brian Adams for the save. The referee, not even distracted, doesn’t do anything about the interference as Adams cleans house. In the melee, Booker missile dropkicks Horace to give Stevie the pin.

Rating: D+. So let me get this straight. Booker T. and Stevie Ray, perhaps the most successful WCW tag team of all time, freshly reunited and the new Tag Team Champions, needed help to beat Horace, Vincent and Norton? Also, we’re supposed to care about Brian Adams all of a sudden? At least this should lead to the end of the Black and White. They just need to be put out to pasture at this point anyway. By this point I mean a year and a half ago of course.

The camera follows Adams as he gets into a limo with a KISS license plate. It’s bad enough that they had to do these stupid celebrity appearances but now we have to give them stories?

TV Title: Brian Knobbs vs. Rick Steiner

Again I say let’s get this over with. It’s a brawl to start with Steiner dropping him with an early Steiner Line. They’re quickly to the choking before the brawl heads outside. Rick upgrades his choking with the dog collar before they head back inside for another Steiner Line. So far, if you count punches and kicks, Steiner is at four moves. Brian slams him down but his middle rope splash hits leg. I’ve always thought that would hurt the leg as much as the guy trying the splash. Hart offers a distraction with the collar but Brian is sent into him, setting up the Steiner Bulldog (hey he hit five!) to avenge Wrestlemania VII and retain.

Rating: D-. Of all the people they have in this company, BRIAN KNOBBS got a TV Title shot? You couldn’t throw some low level schmuck out there who might be able to do a single decent looking move? This may be a stretch, but Brian may be a worse illustration of nepotism than David Flair. At least with Flair there might have been some potential there, but everyone knew what they were getting with Knobbs but his friendship with Hogan kept getting him work.

Nitro Girls. Tony asks why Heenan never applauds them. Heenan: “It’s impossible to clap with one hand.” First, no it isn’t. Second…..I need a minute.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Saturn

The big bald guy drops Saturn with some early clotheslines but gets kicked outside, setting up a great looking Asai moonsault. Back in and Bigelow just launches Saturn across the ring because Bigelow is old and therefore doesn’t have to sell. He charges into a boot in the corner though and fires off right hands, only to be shoved into the referee. Saturn nails an AJ Styles style springboard forearm and nails a decent t-bone suplex. Cue Kanyon (why couldn’t this be Kanyon vs. Saturn? Too entertaining a prospect?) to shove Saturn into a bearhug, but Shane Douglas comes out to shove Kanyon onto both of them, giving Saturn a pin.

Rating: D+. I know they’ve taken their time getting here but the Revolution finally seems to be taking hold. Benoit winning the title and getting to defend it in a pretty solid match was a good sign and they even won a match over an older guy. I have zero confidence that it’s going to last, but at least it worked for one night.

Benoit and Malenko come out to save Saturn from a beatdown.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Hulk Hogan

No word on what Sid’s record is after after all those beatings but he jumps the champ at the bell. Hearing Heenan suck up to Hogan continues to disgust me. If Hogan can be the same character he was in the 80s, why can’t the Brain? Well other than a complete lack of caring that it. Sid very slowly stomps on Hulk and drops a leg, sending Hogan popping back up to his feet. Ever the lunkhead, Sid stands in the corner with his back to Hulk, allowing the champ to hammer away.

Sid bails to the floor and thankfully doesn’t go off to buy a hot dog and a Coke. Back in and he can’t ram Hogan into the buckle but Hulk can do it to him. This riveting spectacle heads outside with Hogan nailing Sid with a chair and throwing him into the audience. For a change of pace, Sid hits Hogan with the chair and throws him onto the announcers’ table. He even one ups the champ by pouring water over Hulk AND the announcers! Tony: “HE SOAKED US WITH WATER!”

Back in and we hit a nerve hold because Sid worked so hard already. The fans chant Goldberg, but the water in Heenan’s ear makes it sound like Hogan. A clothesline breaks up the comeback and Sid fires off some right hands as Tony tries to explain how Hulking Up works. The chokeslam gets a delayed two and I think you know what’s coming. That’s right: Rick Steiner breaking up the comeback because WCW wants us all to watch Raw.

Rating: F. You know, I grew up a Hulkamaniac. In the twenty five years plus as a Hulk Hogan fan, I’ve sat through a lot of nonsense. Over the years, very few things have made me as embarrassed as this nonsense. It comes off like a Hogan impersonator doing all of Hulk’s greatest hits on a carnival circuit, but instead it’s the real thing on national TV. The matches aren’t any good, the live fans respond to a degree, but the TV audience collectively does not care.

Sid doesn’t make things any better either. I know he never was exactly a ring general, but this is setting a new standard for him too. He clearly doesn’t care anymore and is just out there for a check, but some of the stuff he does makes you wonder if he’s trying to make the matches even worse. This was two old guys (even though Sid is in his late 30s here) embarrassing themselves for a check and the company letting themselves die for whatever stupid reasons they come up with this week to validate it.

Trash fills the ring as Hogan is beaten down until Sting makes the save. Hulk covers Steiner for a three count and bell before handing Sting the belt to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was the Sid Vicious show and for the life of me I don’t know why. I get that they’re setting up Sid vs. Goldberg for the battle of the streaks, but my goodness do they have to have him mess up that many matches to get to the point? He wouldn’t break up Enos vs. Miller but he can break up Regal getting to hurt Scotty Riggs? Then to cap it off they have him lose the main event via DQ? It’s like they’re parodying the Streak and wrecking the midcard to get there.

While this show was bad, it was a different kind of bad than recently. Lately the shows have been bad because of how horrible things were, but in this case it felt like there were a good many bright spots being dragged down by the bad. The Revolution is starting to take hold and getting rid of the Black and White is a good thing. However, we’re looking towards the old guys dominating the main event for what feels like months to come and KISS next week. As usual, this company could be good if they would get out of their own way, but it just seems to keep getting worse.

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Road Wild 1999
Date: August 14, 1999
Location: Sturgis, South Dakota
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

Back to Eric Bischoff’s big idea so he could ride motorcycles around the Black Hills. The main event here is Kevin Nash vs. Hulk Hogan in a title/career vs. career match, which still doesn’t sound fair to Hogan. After sitting through the disaster that was Thunder though, I really don’t care about what is fair in WCW. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap of course focuses on Nash vs. Hogan. In case the five or six videos on Thunder weren’t enough for you of course. Actually, the more I think about it, one of these guys leaving means we might get someone new in the main event. FREAKING SWEET MAN!

Tony talks about this history of Road Wild. As in the show that debuted back in 1996 (1997 if you consider Hog Wild its own show). Just printing his quotes are better than almost any jokes I could come up with.

Here’s the first show of any WCW employees: Tenay in a jean jacket and sunglasses, Tony in a darker jean jacket, sunglasses and a backwards hat, and Heenan (looking mostly normal) in a black shirt and hat. My goodness this stuff never gets easier to sit through. They hype up the main event and other big options to eat up time.

We recap the Dead Pool vs. the yet to be named Filthy Animals which I don’t think has an actual story. They just started fighting one day and led up to this match. Tony says the fighting took place on the WCW Network. Good grief you mean they thought of it first???

Dead Pool vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio Jr./Kidman

I do like the road design for the entrance ramp and the whole atmosphere is always really cool. It’s Vampiro and the Insane Clown Posse (Violent J. and Shaggy 2 Dope) with Raven in their corner here. It’s a big brawl to start with the Clowns thankfully being knocked to the floor so Vampiro can handle the wrestling. Kidman hits an early Sky High, followed by a slingshot hilo from Eddie. They head outside for a few seconds and we see that the ring is up on a mini platform like in previous years.

Vampiro nails a nice spinwheel kick to drop Eddie as Tony points out that the Clowns aren’t really wrestlers. Granted I question how much they’re actually singers or musicians either but that’s a discussion for another time. We now get to the real point of the match as Tenay says Vampiro might be touring with the Clowns in the future. J. comes in to imitate whatever moves he saw watching wrestling as a kid, including a clothesline and a jawbreaker.

Tenay brings up the fans that have been stuck in the airport for all eternity, stalking wrestling personalities and asking them about whatever main event is coming up. Vampiro comes back in but Eddie climbs the ropes into a hurricanrana, only to have J. make the save. A Rock Bottom gets two on Eddie and the Clowns hit a double suplex. Amazingly enough, one of the most talented wrestlers of all time doesn’t have much of a problem beating up a clown named after a Scooby Doo character. He drops Shaggy with a superplex and the hot tag brings in Mysterio.

Raven actually does something (when was the last time he even had a match?) by tripping Mysterio to the floor so Vampiro can hit the Nail in the Coffin on the floor. J. comes back in and I keep getting distracted by the steak sandwich stand opposite the hard camera. Things slow back down again as Tenay brags about the Clowns being able to hit legdrops in the wrestling ring they’ve set up in their backyards. The moral of the story: don’t backyard wrestle unless you can get WCW mainstream coverage.

Shaggy powerslams Rey (Tony: “Great execution. As good as you’ll get!” The British Bulldog is rolling over in his grave.) and drops him with a clothesline for no cover. Rey raises a boot in the corner and hits a split legged moonsault, allowing the hot tag to Kidman. Everything breaks down and Kidman is left alone with Shaggy. Apparently he’s more of a Yogi Bear fan as he drops the Shooting Star for the pin to thankfully get us to a match full of actual wrestlers.

Rating: D+. The thing is, the match isn’t even all that bad. The problem here though is how many notches Mysterio, Guerrero and Kidman have to crank it down so the Clowns aren’t overwhelmed. Those three are some of the best wrestlers WCW ever had but they’re stuck in the opening match against some musicians because WCW would rather make a quick splash off having the Clowns in a boring match than put on a product that could actually compete against WWF, which Mysterio, Guerrero and Kidman tearing the house down for these twelve minutes could have been a big part of.

The Clowns aren’t even horrible in the ring, but they’re very, very limited. They can do basic stuff like clotheslines and suplexes, but so can every single wrestler on the roster. Instead of Mysterio defending the title (which he hasn’t done on a major show since May from what I can find) or Eddie actually wrapping up that stolen wallet story, we’re stuck watching these guys do stuff they taught themselves so they can have a thrill. That’s what we get for our $30?

We recap Harlem Heat vs. the Triad for the Tag Team Titles. Booker was getting beaten up by the Triad but Stevie came out to help him. He wanted to reform the team, but Booker said take off the NWO colors. Stevie said okey dokey and that’s about all it took.

Tag Team Titles: Jersey Triad vs. Harlem Heat

The Triad is defending but it’s only Kanyon and Bigelow at ringside because Flair can’t let them have all three members around anymore. Kanyon says most of the bikers here likely don’t have cable, so he explains the usual question, only to be drowned out by the engines revving. Booker is in black and white after making a big deal out of Stevie not wearing the black and white. I smell a secret alliance and feel the need to tune into Nitro to find out more.

The champs jump them to start but are quickly knocked to the floor. Only WCW would put Bam Bam Bigelow, a former biker covered in tattoos, in front of a biker rally as a heel. Tony isn’t sure if Harlem Heat will have continuity after only wrestling a few matches in the last year. You mean like Bigelow and Kanyon? Stevie tries to get the crowd going but Kanyon sends him into the corner and drives in some shoulders to the ribs. Ray pops back up and throws both champions out to the floor and things slow down again. Heenan: “I remember one time I picked up the Beast From the East. Her name was Monica.”

Back in and Booker comes in to stomp Kanyon in the corner but gets dropped to the mat and choked. Tony and Bobby actually agree that Charles Robinson was a fair referee most of the time. Tenay: “…..what?” This commentary is extra golden tonight. Back to Stevie who tells the fans to rev their engines, which for some reason keeps Bigelow from going after Stevie when his back is turned. Shoulder blocks have no effect on either guy so Ray runs him over with a clothesline.

Kanyon gets in a knee from the apron and comes in to mock the bikers a bit. Heenan turns into a manager and starts coaching Kanyon on how to choke. It’s back to Bigelow for a corner splash and a chinlock so he can whisper some sweet spots into Ray’s ear. Back to Kanyon who tries to put Stevie down so Bigelow can go up top, only to have Kanyon catapult him into Bam Bam for a breather. The hot tag brings in Booker to fire off his kicks but Bigelow low bridges him to the floor. Oddly the fans have gone far more silent since Booker came in.

Kanyon nails his middle rope Fameasser for two as we’ve slowed down again. He loads up the same move but this time Booker powerbombs him for a nice counter. I love when wrestlers learn during the match. Stevie comes in again to hammer away but Page runs out, only to get knocked down by Bigelow, setting up Booker’s missile dropkick for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C+. It’s a very good sign that Benoit and Booker T. have picked up a title each in the last five days. Going back to Harlem Heat was a step backwards, but I’m very glad to see the younger guys getting something out of all this. The match was pretty good too with a basic tag team formula that has worked for years and will continue working for years to come. It also keeps up the idea that once the villains lose their backer and have to fight fair, the good guys win. In other words, Wrestling 101 works even in WCW.

We recap the Revolution vs. the Rednecks. For some reason this is treated as more about Hennig vs. Saturn than anything else. There isn’t much of a story here other than they needed something for these teams to do and threw them into this match. Oh and CHAD BROCK!!!

Revolution vs. West Texas Rednecks

It’s Douglas/Malenko/Saturn vs. Hennig/Windham/Duncum with the rednecks billed as the villains as WCW still doesn’t get their audience (nor do they get their money but at least Bischoff got to ride a motorcycle!). Saturn says they don’t care about the cowboys or Chad Brock (heresy!) so just pick who gets beaten up first. It’s a brawl to start again with the Revolution cleaning house. We settle down to Malenko vs. Barry Windham, who can’t make the t-shirt over trunks look work.

Dean takes over to start and brings in Saturn for a back elbow as Tenay goes into Professor mode, talking about how the Rednecks all have fathers who wrestled. That’s the kind of guy wrestling needs again (and not Matt “let me beat you over the head with my knowledge and names of moves that no one uses” Striker) and I’m sure there’s someone out there. Douglas comes in with a nice powerslam on Duncum as the Revolution keeps the wrestling strong. Heenan tells a story about having an 115 degree temperature but coming back just two years later. Wrestling could use a commentator like him too, but I don’t think one exists.

Saturn suplexes Windham down and hammers away but Kendall nails Saturn from the floor to change control. Good old fashioned cheating never hurt anyone. Well Saturn maybe but that’s beside the point. Off to Hennig for the necksnap as a truck drives along the road behind the ring. You can’t say this show looks the same as the rest of them. Hennig lets Saturn tag and house is cleaned for a bit before it’s off to Douglas.

The Rednecks come in to break up a Pittsburgh Plunge attempt and “whoever it was” (Tenay’s words) trips him to the floor and Shane gets beaten down on the floor. Things settle down to Windham suplexing Douglas for two. The Rednecks get us into a regular tag team formula with Kendall getting in his shots from the floor. Since we’re getting into a good wrestling match, it’s time to talk about Savage vs. Rodman. Duncum suplexes Douglas for two and we hit the chinlock.

Back to Windham for a DDT and the slowest two count I’ve seen in years. If a heel was getting counted, the announcers would suggest the referee was crooked. Shane stops Duncum with a boot in the corner and Saturn gets the hot tag. Everything breaks down and Dean puts Hennig in the Cloverleaf, only to have Kendall break it up with the cowbell. Saturn nails Duncum with the Death Valley Driver for the pin.

Rating: C. Well at least the right team won. They actually had me thinking that the Rednecks were going to win there just to tick the fans off even more. The Revolution finally has some momentum, but unfortunately it’s momentum against midcard acts instead of against the main event guys. I guess that boxing match against Piper was the extent of the youth movement’s main event push, because we need room for the main events we’re getting.

Speaking of what we’re getting, this was the third straight match that could have been on any given Nitro but instead they’re all on this show. The Tag Team Title change meant something, but so far nothing has happened to really give the fans a real thrill. Nothing so far has felt like a big moment and we’re about an hour into the show. That’s not a good sign given what’s coming.

We recap Bagwell vs. Cat. Miller said he could dance like no one else, Bagwell dressed up in black face and stole Cat’s shoes, Miller beat him up a few times, let’s have a match.

Buff Bagwell vs. The Cat

Speaking of matches that have no business on pay per view. Tenay says Bagwell is one big match away from winning championship gold. If you throw in a far better offense I can’t say I disagree, but he’s stuck in this mess of a feud. Sonny is in a biker vest with no shirt underneath for a disturbing look. They still can’t start the match because both guys have to try to talk with Cat cutting off Bagwell every time and the bikers cutting Cat off. Bagwell: “Cat, you’re not a crowd favorite if you know what I mean.” Unless he’s being completely literal, no I don’t know what you mean.

We finally get going with Cat hiptossing Bagwell and dancing a bit. The idea works so well that he does it again but with a slam this time. We’re two minutes into the match now as a PUSSY CAT chant starts up. Buff comes back with a hiptoss and slams of his own, sending Cat to the floor so Buff can dance. Back in again and Miller spends almost a minute teasing a handshake as this match is dying in front of our eyes. He finally gets in a cheap shot on Bagwell and chokes in the corner, only to take two dropkick. Of course, it’s time to dance!

Cat hits him low (what took them so long?) and superkicks Bagwell down but the referee yells at Miller, allowing Sonny to get in some lame choking. They repeat the same sequence before Miller slaps on a chinlock. Bagwell reverses a suplex into one of his own and both guys are down. Back up and a cross body gets two on Cat so Sonny gets on the apron. To complete the disaster, Cat is rammed into Sonny’s briefcase and one of the worst rollups I’ve seen in years (I’ve had to say that too often in this review) gives Bagwell the pin.

Rating: F-. Where do I even start? How about Buff can’t even beat ERNEST MILLER with his finisher??? Last time he beat Piper with a pin in a boxing match and now he beats Miller with a rollup without the shoulder even being on the mat. The match was horrible as it was borderline comedy with all the dancing and repeated spots, mainly focused on choking. This was a disaster and something that should have been buried on Thunder instead of something that was supposed to make me care about Bagwell. How does beating up a goofy dancer who can’t do anything but choke and kick make Buff look like a star? Awful mess.

Miller and Onoo lay Bagwell out post match while Buff’s music is playing. They REALLY had to do this?

We recap Benoit vs. Page. This is part of the Revolution vs. Triad/establishment feud with Benoit wanting to prove that he could hang with a former World Champion like Page. Benoit finally got his chance to win a singles title by beating David Flair for the US Title in a fair fight and now Page wants to beat him to regain his confidence.

US T….

Oh I’m sorry I had the wrong notes. That’s the feud that should have happened. Instead Page made a bunch of Your Mama jokes about Benoit to tick him off, then Benoit won the US Title and this was made a No DQ title match at the last second.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Benoit is defending and this is No DQ. Before the match, Page says Benoit loves his mother, just like anyone else can for $2.99 a minute. Tony says this is the scene of one of Page’s best matches: last year when he teamed with Jay Leno. First the Miller match and now those memories brought up? They slug it out to start and Benoit punches out of a helicopter bomb, knocking Page out to the floor.

Back in (and thankfully away from a shirtless guy that makes Ralphus look trim) with Page getting two off a suplex. We’re already in a reverse chinlock as Page starts in on the ribs. A fireman’s carry into a faceplant drops Benoit for a delayed two and Page drives knees into the ribs. We hear Page’s career history, which really is quite the story. Page plants him with an Anderson spinebuster for two but stops to yell at the referee.

Things slow down as Page walks around the ring before a side slam gets two. I can live with him walking around like that because, unlike Miller, Page has actually shown us more than entry level offense and it fits his character to be a cocky jerk. That’s the kind of stuff that separates guys from nothing like Cat to stars like Page. Benoit gets a breather off a jawbreaker and goes up, only to get caught in the Tree of Woe.

Page takes the referee’s belt away and tries to whip Benoit but Little Naitch actually stands up to him. Granted it doesn’t work as Page wraps the belt around Benoit’s throat (Heenan: “WALK THAT DOG!”) before doing the same with Benoit over his shoulder. Very cool yet disturbing visual actually. Benoit escapes and starts rolling the Germans for two but Kanyon breaks up the Swan Dive.

The Revolution is shown watching on the monitors as Benoit throws Page into Kanyon for two. Page suplexes him down and Bigelow adds a top rope headbutt for another near fall as Benoit just won’t quit. He knocks all three members together for a pair of falling low blows (ala Sting), setting up the Swan Dive to Page to retain the title, no thanks to the Revolution.

Rating: B-. I’d be stunned if this isn’t match of the night. I really liked the story here with Page being all cocky and underestimating Benoit because he had the Triad in his back pocket, only to have Benoit fight all three of them off and win in the end. That being said, it’s really nothing great as it’s far more about the story than the wrestling. It would have been nice to have Benoit win the title here, but I wouldn’t want to live in a world without that David Flair title reign. I mean, it did SO much to make you hate Ric more right?

Breathe in people. It’s big match time.

A motorcycle is given away. I didn’t hear this advertised on any WCW show leading up to this.

We recap Sid vs. Sting but unfortunately we don’t get any Halloween Havoc 1989 clips. Basically Sid is calling himself the Millennium Man and wants to lead WCW into the future. Sting is his first target as he’s being built up for Goldberg.

Sid Vicious vs. Sting

The announcers claim that Sid has been in WCW a little over a month (it’s been two months) and he’s undefeated (if you don’t count tag matches or disqualifications of course). Apparently Sting has given up all of the power that he won from Flair. That clears up some questions, but did they have to wait two weeks to explain it? Sid stalls on the floor to start but gets kicked into the corner for a pair of Stinger Splashes.

He knocks Sid to the floor and that’s enough action to start as Sid takes a seat on the edge of the platform. Sting sends him into the crowd and they walk around ringside for a bit. When did Sting stop wrestling and become a full time brawler? 1997? Back in and Sting misses a Splash in the corner so it’s time for the wide world of choking. A backbreaker gets two on Sting as the crowd has died again. Off to another chinlock as Tony thinks the temperatures lowering could mean the matches go long. Global warming never sounded better.

They head back to the floor with Sid dropping him throat first across the barricade and we hit that chinlock again because Sid needs air. Back up and Sting drops him with a shoulder, setting up the falling low blow (third time in two matches). Sting goes to run the ropes but Sid trips him from his back. Yes, somehow Sid has invented a way to wrestle while laying down. You knew someone was going to do it someday. Snake Eyes puts Sting down again but Sid goes up, only to get taken down with a superplex. Not that it matters as the Stinger Splash is caught by a chokeslam for the completely clean pin.

Rating: D. The resting here was ridiculous as Sid was sitting/laying down at every given chance he had in a match that didn’t even last eleven minutes. This is the kind of thing that people look at in WCW and shake their heads as they wonder why they’re still watching. I mean, am I supposed to just wait for Sid to have another major match where he can be even lazier? I can get behind the idea of building up Sid as a monster, but could he put some effort into his matches? He doesn’t even use a lot of power moves as most of his offense revolves around choking. You can’t throw a powerslam in there?

Quick recap of Rick Steiner vs. Goldberg. Rick and Scott had destroyed Goldberg earlier in the year so Goldberg could go make a movie. Goldberg came back and started brawling with Steiner without a mention of the beatdown, but he did manage to say the TV Title wasn’t worth fighting for. How do you respond to that?

Goldberg vs. Rick Steiner

Non-title. It’s a brawl to start of course and Goldberg just nails him with a clothesline. Steiner tries something like a cross body to no effect and the superkick drops him. They’re clearly not going long here and that’s the best idea possible. Rick bails to the floor ala Sid before coming back in with a low blow. At least he bothered to shove the referee. Rick takes Goldberg’s knee brace off and beats him with it in whatever ways he can (which to be fair isn’t a long list).

I’ll give Tony this: he FINALLY points out that a knee brace Goldberg wore into the ring isn’t a foreign object and shouldn’t be considered cheating. I believe that’s the only time I’ve heard a commentator say that and it’s accurate. A belly to belly gets two for Rick and another brace shot to the head has him in trouble. Goldberg gets up and press slams Steiner into a powerslam, setting up the spear and Jackhammer. He really did just pop up from that offense and win with his signature moves.

Rating: D+. Believe it or not this wasn’t the worst thing they could have done. Ignoring the TV Champion losing in less than six minutes, Goldberg not selling, the knee brace shots having almost no effect and Goldberg’s comeback lasting all of three moves, this was the best possible option they had. Goldberg was supposed to destroy Steiner here and that’s basically what he did, setting him up for a bigger feud down the line. They really need to get the TV Title off of Steiner now though as it’s dying every single day he holds it.

We recap Arliss (the character, not the actor. Well depending on who you ask that is but I’m not getting into that mess again) bringing Rodman back to face Savage. This was before Rodman became a real face by kidnapping Gorgeous George, potentially raping her, attacking from behind and running from a fight. This story was such a mess and I really don’t want to know the logic behind it as I fear it might destroy my mind.

Dennis Rodman vs. Randy Savage

Hardcore for obvious reasons. Now this should be interesting as this match is very fondly remembered but I’m very curious as to how well it holds up. It should also be noted that Savage promised to bring a very bad man here to guard George. That man would also be revealed as the Hummer driver, even though this was ignored on Nitro this past week. Savage comes out alone because he doesn’t want George around Rodman. To be fair I don’t want to be around Rodman either. Rodman wants to know where she is but Savage says Rodman is his tonight. More swearing ensues and I have no idea what they’re talking about.

They’re on the floor about six seconds in with Savage going into the barricade a few times. Back in and the announcers are already praising Rodman as hard as they can. What took them so long? An elbow to the jaw puts Savage down and Tony says that’s enough to show that he’s a fine competitor. He follows it up with a Russian legsweep for another really slow two and even knows how to argue with a referee. He gets tired of dealing with Billy Silverman and lays him out before slowly walking around the ring.

Savage gets in his first offense after about three minutes by raking Rodman’s face. Heenan: “REBOUND THIS!” Mickie Jay comes out to referee as Savage hits his third choke of the match. He punches out a photographer to steal his camera and uses it to nail Rodman for two. The near fall earns Jay a right hand of his own and Scott Dickinson comes in to give us three referees knocked out.

Rodman gets back up to throw Savage outside but Savage tosses him over the barricade. The fans throw Rodman back as Savage walks around looking for weapons (or a real opponent). We’re on referee #4 now as they walk backstage. Rodman kind of armdrags Savage down but gets thrown into some trash. Here’s the big spot of the match: Rodman gets thrown into a portable toilet, which is then shoved over. The door opens and the waste comes out, only to have Rodman pop back up. Seriously, THAT is what people say made this match entertaining.

Back to ringside with Savage being thrown into the lighting structure before Dennis “hits” a middle rope “clothesline”, accidentally knocking the referee down. Gorgeous George comes out to the reaction of the match and hits Rodman low. She also gives Savage a chain to knock Rodman out for the pin to end this mess. Yes, Savage needed George and a chain to beat a basketball player.

Rating: D. It was messy (literally), it wasn’t really entertaining, Rodman nor Savage have any business in a ring at this point…..but I didn’t completely hate this. Maybe it’s low expectations or Rodman having a better presence than he did in the horrible tag match in 1998, but this could have been about a million times worse. Yeah the toilet spot was stupid and a lot of the moves didn’t hit, but this is like the Clown match earlier: it’s not fair to expect a good match out of someone who isn’t a good wrestler. The praise this match got is overkill, but this could have been WAY worse.

We recap Hogan vs. Nash, which seems to be the real match they wanted to get to instead of Goldberg vs. Hogan or Goldberg vs. Nash. The idea here is they’re arguing over who was the real force behind the NWO and it’s Nash’s career vs. Hogan’s career and title to try and add in some drama. Hogan turned face earlier in the week to get rid of any possible drama for this match.

WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Kevin Nash

The fans and announcers are entirely behind Hogan. Nash shoves him into the corner a few times to start and the engines rev again. He grabs a headlock (Hogan: “OH MY GOD!”) and we’re already stuck in first gear. Another shove sends Nash to the floor and the stalling begins. Back in and we hit the test of strength with Nash getting the better of it. Tony continues his bizarre commentary by saying Nash is two inches taller than Hogan. If you drop Nash down to 6’11, that puts Hogan at 6’9. That’s a stretch even for WCW.

Nash starts going after the back but takes too long on the framed elbow. There’s nothing here that wouldn’t be seen on a Nitro main event so far. Hulk hammers away in the corner but gets raked in the eyes. Nash uses the boot choke as we’re only in signature mode here. They head outside for nothing of note before Nash slowly walks around the ring. He calls for the Jackknife but keeps hammering away, including the framed elbow. The big boot and Jackknife plant Hogan and it’s Hulk Up time. You know the rest and Nash is sent on vacation. Uh I mean retired. Yeah retired. For like, ever.

Rating: D. So after all that time (the full five days) of buildup for the career vs. career stipulation and the huge Nash heel turn (three weeks ago I believe) after Hogan’s long title reign (less than a month at this point), they did the paint by numbers Hogan match and expected us to be amazed. This was the Hogan formula from the 80s taking place four months from the year 2000, which tells you almost all you need to know about WCW.

The worst part is Hogan vs. Nash could have drawn a fairly decent crowd if promoted the right way. It’s a big main event that we hadn’t seen yet but it’s thrown onto maybe the lowest level PPV of the year on a Saturday instead of the usual Sunday. They set this match up to fail and I really don’t get the thinking there. Granted that could be said about almost everything around this time.

Overall Rating: D. This really isn’t the worst show ever, as the first half (save for the Bagwell vs. Cat mess) is totally watchable. Mostly boring but watchable. You have some decent action and a title change plus a good Benoit vs. Page match. Unfortunately, that all led to the second half of the show and that’s where this show gets its reputation.

The main event guys hit new levels of lazy and sluggish here with Sid somehow coming up with offense from his back. I mean, he can’t even sit up to trip Sting? The main event had as much heat as an igloo on Christmas Eve, Sting vs. Sid was just there to set up something for the future, Goldberg vs. Steiner was a Thunder main event and Rodman vs. Savage was just a celebrity appearance. Maybe Nash leaving for awhile will open up a main event slot, but the thoughts of who they might put in there terrifies me.

You know what this needed to be? A Clash of the Champions. Cut out the opener, Miller vs. Bagwell and make Sid/Savage vs. Rodman/Sting (Tell me you wouldn’t pay to see Sting and Rodman try to have a conversation) a tag match. That’s not a bad two hour show and it would certainly make fans feel better than paying for this mess. This show didn’t need to be a three hour pay per view as the matches and feuds just aren’t there for one. They need to mix things up soon though because this product is killing them.

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Thunder
Date: August 5, 1999
Location: Lacrosse Center, Lacrosse, Wisconsin
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

It’s the go home show for Road Wild and the big story is Hulk Hogan returning to the red and yellow for the first time in over three years and pretty much guaranteeing victory on Saturday. Chris Benoit has also won the US Title and finally broken through at least some of the glass ceiling he’s been hammering away at for years now. Let’s get to it.

We see a package on last year’s Road Wild, set to what sounds like Wrath’s old music. Given that this is WCW, I’m shocked they didn’t bring in some C list musician to perform a special song live.

Opening sequence.

Rick Steiner vs. Spyder

Apparently Spyder would go on to become NWA North American Heavyweight Champion and may have been Eddie Guerrero’s bodyguard from the LWO days. Steiner’s big insult for Goldberg this week: he’s a bald headed dirtbag. He also insulted your title but that’s not important enough to mention here. Rick hammers away in the corner to start before ripping at Spyder’s face. We’re in regular Steiner territory here. A big release German suplex sends Spyder flying and Rick tosses him outside for good measure. He’s sent into every steel object on the floor, setting up the Steiner Bulldog and that stupid arm hold for the win.

Rating: D-. Rick Steiner is a horrible wrestler. His offense isn’t good, he can’t talk, his finisher is stupid and for some reason he’s being rewarded for these performances. If I’m someone like Booker T. or Perry Saturn, why am I even bothering at this point? At least there’s some hope with Benoit, but I have very little confidence in WCW to push two young guys at a time.

Video on Goldberg vs. Steiner. Has Rick beating Goldberg down months ago been brought up at all during this feud, or are we just supposed to remember it?

Jimmy Hart and Brian Knobbs are excited for the career match. Uh….good for you guys.

Video on Nash vs. Hogan with both careers on the line. That’s not really fair to Hogan as he’s putting up two things against Nash’s one.

We see Hogan going back to the red and yellow from Nitro. This show is another big commercial isn’t it?

Video on Page vs. Benoit for Chris’ first title defense. The match is No DQ, likely so we can have a lot of interference so Page won’t have to work too hard, even though he’s more than capable of doing so.

Video on Sting vs. Sid Vicious, which was a big match ten years ago and still is now because they’re still spring chickens in this company’s eyes.

We see Sid promising to destroy everyone to become the Millennium Man.

Sid Vicious vs. Disorderly Conduct

I waited twenty minutes to get to this match? I’m not even going to bother suggesting that this is going to be a big surprise or anything because Sid squashes are actually entertaining in some weird way. He attacks Mean Mike and Tough Tom on the floor before throwing Tom inside for a kind of spinebuster. Mike is kicked off the apron and Sid settles down by just punching (with that weird overhand punch with the big follow through of his) and slapping Tom in the face. The cobra clutch slam to Tom and powerbomb to Mike are enough for the fast pin. Total squash, but I’m not feeling the cobra clutch slam. It just doesn’t fit Sid.

Sid chokeslams Tom like he should have done during the match. He wants Goldberg, but instead of a match that could be fun in a car crash sense, we have to sit through a Goldberg vs. Steiner match that’s going to be more painful than an actual car crash. Yay us.

Booker T. can’t believe that Hogan or Nash will be gone after Saturday. Somehow this is the most interesting moment of the night.

Video on the Dead Pool vs. the yet to be named Filthy Animals, complete with clips from their brawls on Monday.

Benoit does the same thing Booker, Hart and Knobbs did earlier.

Here’s the same video that opened the show. This is such a waste of my time, even when I’m fast forwarding through the packages.

Harlem Heat is ready to take the Triad to 110^th Street.

Here’s the full Booker T. vs. Kanyon match from Nitro because this show is just a big recap with some squash matches anymore.

CALL THE HOTLINE! MAYBE THEY CAN TELL YOU WHEN THUNDER WON’T BE SUCH A WASTE OF OUR TIME!

This Week In WCW Motorsports. For goodness sake come on already.

The West Texas Rednecks vs. the Revolution has been added to Saturday, even though it was fairly obvious.

Hey, you know what would be good right now? Wasting my time with more clips from Nitro, especially if it was a waste of time in the first place. It’s Hennig confronting Chad Brock because…..I really don’t care enough to come up with a reason at this point.

Barry Windham/Bobby Duncum Jr. vs. Shane Douglas/Dean Malenko

Somehow, we’re halfway through this show. Look back at what we’ve seen so far and tell me how we could be halfway through this show. The Rednecks come out to I Hate Rap, probably so the fans don’t realize that Good Old Boys is Jeff Jarrett’s old music with lyrics. Windham starts with Malenko but gets stomped into the corner and armdragged a few times. Very Steamboat-esque there.

Malenko makes a rare mental mistake and gets kicked in the face. It’s off to Douglas vs. Duncum with the Revolution staying in for a double elbow to the jaw. What revolutionary cheating. Duncum misses a boot and gets taken down, only to have Shane get caught in the wrong corner as we take a break. Back with Hennig saving Duncum from the Cloverleaf, allowing Windham to suplex Dean in a variety of ways. Not quite 1004 ways but it was up there. A low blow puts Malenko down again and it’s back to Duncum.

Bobby nails a nice shoulder breaker and wraps his legs around Malenko’s head while tagging in Barry. A hard double clothesline puts Malenko down and it’s back to Duncum, who quickly misses a charge in the corner. Shane comes in off the hot tag to clean house with a double noggin knocker and a Thesz Press of all things for two on Bobby. The Rednecks try to interfere but Douglas grabs the Pittsburgh Plunge on Duncum for the pin.

Rating: C-. Match of the night here by about a thousand miles. Douglas looked better here than he has in the rest of his matches since his return, but just like the first praise for the match, that’s not really covering much ground. This was just a way to set up the six man on Saturday, which is fine in theory but I’m not the biggest fan of having most of the people in a match in another match two days earlier. I’ll make an exception on this show though as a watchable tag match is the best thing I’ve seen in nearly an hour and a half.

Post match the Rednecks destroy the Revolution, including Saturn attempting to make a save. Perry gets hog tied for his efforts.

Page is intrigued by the career match too.

Berlyn is still coming.

LONG video on Nash vs. Hogan in case the first five or six mentions tonight didn’t get your attention.

Video on Rodman vs. Savage. It’s 1999 and Randy Savage, Hulk Hogan and Rick Steiner are in the three biggest matches on the PPV card. That tells you almost everything you need to know about WCW at this point.

Clips from Nitro and the Tonight Show for Savage vs. Rodman.

Randy Savage vs. Evan Karagias

Savage, wearing what he considers street clothes (they’re very shiny), asks if we want to know who was driving the Hummer. “The baddest person on the planet, the bodyguard for Gorgeous George and the insurance policy? Well don’t worry about it because I’m going to take care of it.” Evan says he doesn’t like the way Savage has been treating the girls, especially Mona. They don’t deserve to be treated like that, especially by a legend like Savage.

Macho thinks Evan has a lot of guts but promises a Miss Madness 2000 contest, which Mona can enter to get her job back. Savage wants to give Evan props but kicks him in the ribs like everyone expected him to. That’s as close as anyone is going to get to a rub from Savage right now. They quickly head outside with Evan being rammed into the barricade and throw back inside. Mona comes out to cheer for Evan, who avoids a charge into the corner.

Karagias scores with a dropkick and some right hands to send Savage to the floor but he grabs Mona for a shield. She gets away though and Evan hits a nice dive to take Savage out. That’s about it for Evan though as Savage posts him and drops the big elbow. He picks Evan up at two and goes up again, drawing in Mona to try and protect Evan. Savage dives anyway so Mona has to dive out of the way. Macho yells at Mona so referee Johnny Boone jumps on his back, earning himself a piledriver for the DQ.

Rating: D. That’s about the extent of a rub that you’re going to get from Randy Savage at this point….and it could have been much worse. Evan got in some solid offense and had Savage sweating for a bit, which is a lot more than most guys at his level would get. No it wasn’t really competitive or anything, but when you watch guys like Steiner destroying people, Savage looks like the most generous guy in the world by comparison. Savage’s talk before the match wasn’t bad either and Karagias looks better coming out than he did going in.

Savage drops a third elbow and counts his own pin.

We close out the show with the six man from Monday in its entirety and two more Road Wild ads.

Overall Rating: I. For infomercial, because that’s all this show was. This was a big ad for Road Wild, which has one of the most obvious main events I’ve seen in years. You could trim this show down and it would serve as a perfect pre-show on Saturday. This was a big waste of my time and took away what little interest I had in watching the show on Saturday. Let me put this in perspective for you: the best thing about this show was the tag match. The second best thing about this show? How well Karagias looked coming out of a squash. Just think about that one for a minute and you’ll see what I put up with on these shows.

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Monday Nitro #200
Date: August 9, 1999
Location: Idaho Center, Boise, Idaho
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

We’re at a milestone show here and there’s a pretty well known main event. At the moment we have the battle of the old guys with feuds ranging from Kevin Nash vs. Hollywood Hogan, Rick Steiner vs. Goldberg and Sting vs. Sid Vicious. That sounds like a reason to mix those guys up in a big match. Oh and we have country music with Chad Brock. Yeah I don’t remember him either. This is also the go home show for Road Wild. Let’s get to it.

Quick recap of the end of last week’s show.

Tony is back on commentary with no reason given for his absence. He does however have an announcement: Dusty Rhodes is now head of the WCW Championship Committee. Wasn’t he last seen as part of the NWO?

Norman Smiley/Lash Leroux/Prince Iaukea vs. Vampiro/Insane Clown Posse

Uh…yay. Raven is in the corner and has officially named the team the Dead Pool. Do they like chimichangas? Vampiro and Lash get things going with some chops back and forth. Tony is back to his old standard by randomly talking about Nash vs. Hogan. Off to the Prince for his selection of right hands but Vampiro hits a kind of throwing powerbomb. You would think Norman or Lash would have done something given that he powerbombed Iaukea out of their corner, but my guess is they’re trying to figure out why the Insane Clown Posse is wrestling a match in Idaho.

Violent J. (called Jack Jeckyl by Tony. To be fair that’s what it says on his jersey) hits a decent suplex before playing Neidhart to Vampiro’s Hart in a Hart Attack. Shaggy comes in for a bad looking DDT but Prince sweeps the legs to take over. To make things worse, Shaggy’s shorts are falling down. Norman tries to come in to help Iaukea but it just allows Vampiro to hit him low.

J. drops a leg to the chest but hurts his head with a headbutt to the Prince. At least he knows his stereotypes. They head outside with Vampiro throwing Iaukea into the steps. Back in and Shaggy misses a guillotine legdrop, allowing the hot tag to Norman. A big old spinning slam drops Shaggy and everything breaks down. The fans are actually WAY into this one. Vampiro suplexes Lash down and J. adds a moonsault for the pin.

Rating: C-. The Clowns are an interesting case as they actually have some training so it’s WAY better than when celebrities have matches on Raw, but I’d still be hard pressed to call them good. They can do some very basic stuff like suplexes and the moonsault was acceptable, but they’d be lost trying to do more than a four minute match without people there to help them. Case in point, this match worked for the most part because the Clowns weren’t in a good chunk of it and the wrestlers carried it. The crowd helped a lot too as they were into the match, but the wrestling was nothing great.

Nitro Girls.

The Revolution is in the back with Dusty and ask him when things are going to change around here. Dusty says in due time but gets cut off by David Flair and Torrie Wilson. Dusty is called an old man so Benoit slaps the Crossface on David. Apparently the way to make things change is through violence because that earned Benoit a US Title shot. It’s about time someone realized David and his dad had no authority anymore and they could get the US Title off of him in about 10 seconds.

Curt Hennig/Barry Windham vs. Public Enemy

The Rednecks have a new song called Good Old Boys, which is nowhere near as catchy. Tony starts talking about Chad Brock and actually gives us a reason for him to be here: he used to train at the Power Plant and actually was in an eight man tag on Saturday Night back in 1996. That still doesn’t make me want to see him but WCW never really cared what fans thought. Hennig throws Rocco around the ring to start but eats a boot in the corner.

Off to Grunge who has the same luck as Hennig when Windham blasts him with a lariat. Kendall actually does something by tripping up Grunge to keep the Rednecks in control. We hear about Brock even more as Johnny and Curt double clothesline each other. It’s a double tag as Public Enemy takes over with their usual brawling before a flip dive puts Barry through the table. Not that it matters though as Curt nails Grunge with the cowbell for the pin.

Rating: D. The Rednecks seem to be in decline as there isn’t much for them to do anymore. If the best they can come up with is having Curt feud with the country singer coming in to perform, they need to just disband the team now or let Hennig and Windham be a regular tag team. It was a fun idea while it lasted but there’s nothing for the team to do right now.

Little Jeanie vs. Mona

Tony tries to tell us how easy it is to order a WCW PPV as this is sounding more and more desperate every week. Jeanie never did anything that I can find. Apparently Mona was a powerlifter in her younger days, which isn’t something you would expect out of someone her size. They hit the mat to start and trade some hammerlocks and armbars. Jeanie isn’t half bad out there and takes a decent monkey flip to send her outside.

The match stalls for a bit as they trade places, only to have Jeanie choke a bit on the way back in. Mona gets two off a sunset flip and the fans give her a good reaction. Granted it likely has something to do with the short skirt flipping over but a pop is better than nothing. Back up and a dropkick to the head sends Jeanie into the corner. For a sweet ending, Mona puts on an Indian deathlock but grabs Jeanie’s shoulders and rolls her over, bridging the legs into the air for a pin.

Rating: C+. Shockingly good match here and I’m surprised Jeanie never did anything else. She needed some work but with more experience and some polish she could have been something decent. Mona of course would have her success in the near future and it’s easy to see why off this match. This was a big, nice surprise.

Brandi Alexander, a chick that Mona beat up before, comes in but takes a clothesline from Mona.

Video on Hogan vs. Nash.

Hogan is in the back when his son Nick comes in. Hogan is in the NWO gear and Nick wants to know why his dad didn’t wear the red and yellow that Nick packed for him. We hear a noise though and Hulk runs out of the room, only to get laid out by Nash, Sid and Steiner. They beat him out to the ring but Sting and Goldberg make a quick save.

This is apparently enough for Hogan to put his career on the line on Saturday and makes a challenge for a six man tag. Nash says it’s on, but Sting wants Nash’s career on the line too. That’s cool as well, but Goldberg tops them all. He says Steiner doesn’t have anything to put on the line at Road Wild so he’ll just have to beat Steiner up.

Is there any question why the title was retired soon after this? I mean good grief it’s one thing to not acknowledge that someone is a champion but to flat out say that the belt is worthless? The worst part: you know Goldberg never got any flack for that backstage. Why would he anyway? The title has been dying a brutal death since Steiner became champion and just brutalized everyone he’s fought in meaningless matches.

That belt could be used for people like the Revolution, Booker T., Bagwell, even Disco Inferno or Cat. But instead it’s being held by a guy no one cares about while Goldberg says the belt doesn’t matter. Stupid decisions like this are among the biggest reasons WCW went under: they didn’t care about anyone but the old guys and they think people care about guys like Rick Steiner because he was a big deal nine years ago. I really can’t get over that stupid line. I agree Goldberg is above the TV Title, but did he have to point out that it’s worthless in general?

US Title: David Flair vs. Chris Benoit

Maybe this can make me feel better. Heenan’s tongue is falling out of his mouth over Torrie’s outfit. Little Naitch is ejected as referee and Nick Patrick will be taking over. Isn’t he almost just as corrupt? Flair immediately bails to the floor and tries to leave, only to be thrown back in by Malenko and Saturn. Douglas was there too but he was too busy reminding us of how great he was in ECW to actually help.

David bails again but is surrounded on the floor. A snap suplex sends the champ flying and Benoit slaps him a few times. Benoit is just toying with him here. Kanyon tries to do a hilarious looking run in (the look on his face was priceless as he looked like he was trying to save a baby from a burning building) but gets stopped by Saturn, allowing Benoit to drop the Swan Dive for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade as it’s clearly not about the wrestling but they did exactly what they were supposed to out there. Benoit FINALLY wins a singles title and gives David exactly what he deserves. Granted it’s about three months too late for it to have the impact they were going for but at least it finally happened.

Page comes in and Rock Bottoms Benoit but thankfully the Revolution runs in for the save before Page can ruin the moment. Benoit issues a challenge for Saturday in a No DQ match.

Nitro Girls.

Here’s Savage to reveal who is going to guard George on Saturday, who also drove the Hummer. Gene introduces George as being with him but Savage is alone. After a quick President plug, he promises to kill Rodman on Saturday. Gene gets to the point by asking about the Hummer driver…..and Savage ignores him. One more line about Saturday and we’re done. As I ask myself every week, why do I even bother watching Thunder if they’re going to tease stuff like this and then never follow up?

Chris Adams/Dave Taylor vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio Jr.

It’s Eddie and Taylor to get things going, but first they have to see who the fans are behind. The stalling continues as we’re nearly two minutes into the match with barely any contact. Taylor actually snaps off a headscissors and dropkick to send Eddie to the floor, drawing some solid booing. You would have thought Eddie would start that way but instead he headscissors Taylor down to take over.

Off to Rey, who is in an orange prison uniform because for some reason in the 90s, that was considered cool. Adams runs him over with a shoulder and a powerslam gets two. He misses a top rope splash though and Rey hits a Lionsault, on the same night that Chris Jericho was debuting on Monday Night Raw. Adams pops back up with that sweet superkick of his for two before catapulting him into the wrong corner.

Dave finally charges into a boot in the corner and the prison enthusiast rolls over for the hot tag to Eddie. Everything breaks down and Eddie dives through the ropes to take out Taylor. Adams is all alone, setting up a Mysterio top rope hurricanrana, followed by the Frog Splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. What is with this show tonight? They’ve been nailing the wrestling all night with everyone clicking in the ring. Mysterio and Guerrero being a good tag team isn’t a surprise given how much they’ve worked together in the past. Adams and Taylor were fine in this role as two guys that can work well with anyone. If this was what Nitro was like until a big main event, I’d have far fewer complaints.

Speaking of complaints, cue the Dead Pool to jump Mysterio and Guerrero, only to have Kidman make the save. Six man on Saturday it seems.

Gene brings out the Rednecks, who imply they were with the Dixie Chicks and Shania Twain last night. Apparently they were scheduled to perform Good Old Boys live but Chad Brock has replaced them. Seriously, this is the best thing they can come up with? Ignore the fact that the fans booed Brock’s name in general but cheered when Hennig promised to beat him up. Why do I have a feeling this was translated as “See??? THE FANS RESPONDED TO HIS NAME! MORE CELEBRITIES!”

Kidman vs. Disco Inferno

Over halfway through the show, Tony sends out get well wishes to Scott Hudson. Gee that’s nice of him. Did we ever get a reason why Tony was gone in the first place though? Kidman starts fast with a dropkick and the slingshot headscissors, potentially causing lethal hair damage. Disco pops back up and throws him over the top before grabbing a Russian legsweep back inside.

The chinlock is broken in about five seconds and Kidman nails a quick clothesline. Disco continues his hot pace (maybe he has a fever?) with a swinging neckbreaker and a hot (I’ve got something here!) shot for two. Kidman comes back with a Sky High, which is a move I really would like to see someone use as a finisher full time. And I mean someone that matters, not Titus O’Neil.

Kidman ducks his head though and eats the AWESOME jumping piledriver. I know he was a comedy guy but he always had one of the best piledrivers I’ve ever seen. It’s only good for two though so, in another recurring theme tonight, he tries it again, only to have Kidman faceplant him. The Shooting Star is ready but Vampiro runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C. Disco looked great here and continues to be one of the most underrated WCW guys in the ring. Vampiro coming in makes sense and keeps setting up their match on Saturday, though they could have spaced the matches out better on the card. By having them back to back, it runs the risk of overloading people on one feud, and you know there’s a big crowd to see wrestling clowns.

Vampiro plants Kidman with a super Nail in the Coffin. I’m not a Vampiro fan but that looked GREAT, especially Kidman’s head flying up after impact and falling back onto the mat. Disco actually tries to make the save but eats a superkick, drawing out Eddie and Rey for the real save. Disco offers Rey a handshake but Rey is a hugger, sending Disco running away in fear. If a small man in a prison uniform tried to hug me, I’d be a bit nervous too.

The announcers chat about Saturday’s main event.

Scott Norton vs. Buff Bagwell

Vicious runs Delicious over to start and shoulders him to the floor. A clothesline misses though and Buff hits some dropkicks (clearly inspired by his match with Riggs on Thursday) to knock Norton outside. Back in and Bagwell actually uses a dragon screw leg whip. Well that’s some psychology at least.

Norton shrugs it off though and hits his shoulder breaker as we see Cat putting on the red shoes up on the ramp. Bagwell fights out of a neck crank and a cross body actually works. Cue Cat to distract the referee so Onoo can nail Bagwell with the briefcase, giving Norton two. That’s enough to make Miller call his Mama, or come into the ring for a DQ. Ignore the lack of actual contact of course.

Rating: D. Well the good match streak had to die somewhere. This was about as bad as you would have expected as Bagwell just isn’t there in the ring. It makes sense that he was great as a tag guy because he can talk well enough to get on people’s nerves and then hit the Blockbuster for a good looking finish.

Speaking of the Blockbuster, Onoo takes one as Norton chases Cat to the back.

Now for the REAL main event in any event in the country (except whatever the Rosemont Horizon was called at this point because they’re smart enough not to have this nonsense over in that company), here’s…..A SINGER THAT DOESN’T EVEN GET AN INTRODUCTION! Yeah we come back from a break and the song is starting. You know those musical acts that are said to not need an introduction anywhere in the world but for some reason they’re introduced anyway? As in like Elvis, the Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen etc? Well apparently Chad Brock is important enough to not actually introduce whatsoever.

He sings, people don’t care, Hennig comes out and jaws with him, the Rednecks and the Revolution come out for a staredown, I’ll never got those seven minutes of my life back.

As if that’s not enough, KISS is coming in two weeks.

Nitro Girls. They haven’t been around as much lately. You know who has been though? Chad Brock.

Kanyon vs. Booker T.

For history’s sake, the Millennium Clock ended right about now. All respective partners are out here with them. It’s Booker in control to start with a back elbow to knock Kanyon to the floor so Stevie can get in some cheap shots of his own. He doesn’t have this whole face thing down yet.

Back in and Kanyon extinguishes half of the Heat with a knee to the ribs and we hit the chinlock. Booker fights up with the usual as they’re clearly flying through this. The barrage of kicks set up the 110^th Street Slam but Kanyon pulls the referee in front of a clothesline. The rest of the Triad stops Stevie, allowing Kanyon to nail Booker with the belt, setting up the Flatliner for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match went so fast that there was only so much they could do out there. I’ll let you make your own complaint about Brock taking up their time. This was little more than another way to set up the Tag Team Title match on Saturday, which is about all you can do for a match like that. I’ve seen worse though.

Here’s Rodman to Voodoo Child, so maybe we’ll find out who was driving the Hummer here. Rodman says that this Saturday, George is going to learn that she’s his BEEP. You mean the woman that Rodman, in theory the face in this feud, as in the guy that has kidnapped George and attacked from behind, kidnapped and may have raped? Savage runs out and Rodman, your hero and mine, runs away in fear.

Sting/Goldberg/Hollywood Hogan vs. Rick Steiner/Sid Vicious/Kevin Nash

Nash’s team comes out to the Wolfpack theme but Nash has a Black and White logo on his shirt. I’M SO CONFUSED! Remember that if Nash’s team loses, his career is on the line Saturday. Goldberg comes out to Crush Em, which I like but it doesn’t have the same impact as his old music.

Now we get the big, famous moment here though as Hogan returns to the red and yellow for the first time in over three years. Tony loses his mind as you would expect him to. To their credit, the fans go NUTS in one of the final legitimate shows of emotion you’ll ever find in WCW. I take no shame in admitting that it gave me a big smile too as I grew up a Hulkamaniac and he belongs in the red and yellow. Also, has there ever been a better three man face team in WCW?

Hogan and Steiner get things going and the worthless champion is shoved down. The big boot connects about a minute in and even Heenan is fired up to see Hogan. Some more right hands drop Steiner and the giants take punches of their own. Hogan beats up all three villains on his own and they take a breather on the floor. With Hogan dominating, the fans chant for Goldberg. You know, the guy in a match with someone that has nothing to put up on Saturday.

Goldberg gets the tag and the pop of the night as Nash comes in to face him. Nash hammers away but eats a superkick and suplex as the fans get even louder. You can see Hogan saying “Yeah they popped louder for me brother. I heard them chanting HO-GAN too.” Sid walks into a powerslam and it’s off to Sting, who seems almost out of his league for once. He lays Sid on the top rope for the Stinger Splash but the top rope version gets two to stop the crowd dead.

The referee gets in the way of Nash’s Snake Eyes as someone has exposed the buckle. That earns him a ref bump and Sting hits a pair of Stinger Splashes into the exposed buckle and a third into a more modest buckle. Steiner comes in with a chair but there’s the spear. Hogan takes the chair and cleans house, including knocking Nash willy. Another referee comes out to say Nash is out for the win, putting his career on the line Saturday.

Rating: B-. It’s a very fun match and Hogan coming back in the red and yellow is a big moment. We had a top level WCW face team against the three top heels (since Flair has disappeared) and the crowd went nuts. That brings me to my one big issue with the match: wouldn’t this have made more sense next week?

Next week’s main event would be Hogan vs. Sid for the title, so couldn’t they have swapped that to this week and had the six man after the PPV? With this, whatever they do on Saturday is going to feel like a letdown from this and you get Hogan putting on the red and yellow again after he defeats his “biggest challenge” (work with me here) thanks to the power of the Hulkamaniacs. This took away the drama because you know Hulk Hogan isn’t losing to Nash in this kind of a match. Still though, good moment and a really fun main event.

Overall Rating: B-. Easily the best Nitro in months, but this company is clearly running on borrowed time. The main event scene is dying for some fresh blood and putting Hogan in the old colors is only going to keep him going for so long. Benoit getting the title is a bright spot and at least a sign of hope, but I’m still stuck on that TV Title line. It’s going to take some time to get that back to credibility and Rick Steiner holding it isn’t going to help that. Midcard title problems aside, this show was solid action (mostly) in front of a red hot crowd. They still need to cut back to two hours, but not being horrible is a good start.

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Thunder
Date: August 5, 1999
Location: Lacrosse Center, Lacrosse, Wisconsin
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

We’re coming off an actually decent episode of Nitro, even though it was dominated by the over 40 crowd. Ok maybe I need to be more specific as that could be a lot of different episodes of the show. In this case, it ended with Nash powerbombing Hogan through the table, likely setting up a six man tag soon down the road. In addition to that, we have a lot of musical performances to plug because that’s what WCW is about anymore. Let’s get to it.

We of course open with a recap of the end of Nitro.

Opening sequence.

Prince Iaukea vs. Chris Adams

If Sid doesn’t break this up before it gets to three minutes, all hope is lost for this company. They actually slug it out to start with Adams taking over with a clothesline, sending Iaukea out to the floor for a breather. That’s kind of heelish of him. Not that I care due to Prince Iaukea being perhaps the least interesting wrestler of all time, but it’s definitely noticeable. Back in and Iaukea goes to the eyes to make sure we know he’s a heel. A legdrop gets two on Adams and Iaukea backdrops him down for good measure, only to have Sid come out to nail Adams for the DQ.

Adams takes a powerbomb and Nick Patrick is forced to count a three count. Iaukea takes one as well and Sid promises to lay out all our heroes. If he has to, he’ll take out the entire locker room to break Goldberg’s streak and become the Millennium Man. I’m sure this has nothing to do with Jericho’s millennium clock which was about to wrap up around this time. Also, isn’t Sid feuding with Sting at the moment?

Video on Sting vs. Sid. I need to be more patient.

CALL THE HOTLINE!

Video on Bagwell vs. the Cat.

Buff Bagwell vs. Scotty Riggs

Before the bell Buff grabs the mic and says the American Males are over, so it’s time for Scotty to start riding his own coattails. Had anyone actually thought of the American Males in the last two years to make that comment necessary? Bagwell picks up the mirror to really set Riggs off and the match starts in a hurry. Of course, Riggs may try to start fast but gets atomic dropped, punched and dropkicked out to the floor. The more I see of Bagwell in the ring, the more I’m unsure if he should have gotten that big push. Other than the Blockbuster, the guy just had NOTHING special in the ring.

Riggs bails to the floor just like Iaukea did earlier (must be a boring wrestler thing) but Buff sends him right back inside. Back in and they trade dropkicks with Bagwell hitting the second one, followed by a swinging neckbreaker. Ten right hands in the corner get the crowd into things a bit and send Riggs over to the corner for his mirror. Since referees are worthless in this company, Riggs blasts him in the throat with the mirror to take over.

Elbows and more dropkicking abound because Scotty Riggs really doesn’t know how to do much else. Oh wait apparently he can check the mirror some more. Riggs chokes on the ropes and slaps on a chinlock to kill some time. We get the usual escape before Buff avoids a dropkick. Gee I wonder how he knew it was coming. A double clothesline puts both guys down and Buff takes over, even though he had control just a few seconds earlier. Buff hammers away but eats a jawbreaker, allowing Riggs to put him on the top. Oh come on dude now you’re just asking for it. The Blockbuster connects for the easy pin.

Rating: D. Why in the world is Riggs still employed??? By this point it’s firmly established that there’s nothing interesting to him and giving him such a generic gimmick suggests that there’s nothing they can do with him. The match wasn’t even that bad from a technical standpoint but it was so boring with WAY too many dropkicks. What did WCW see in these two as a team? They’re both as lame as the other.

Video on Harlem Heat.

The announcers chat about Goldberg for a bit. He’s tough you see.

Video on the Triad vs. Harlem Heat.

Diamond Dallas Page was on the Late Late Show. As interesting as it sounds.

Kidman vs. Eddie Guerrero

This should help. Eddie, a face at the time, isn’t interested in shaking hands. Instead he backdrops Kidman to the apron but gets caught in a middle rope ankle scissors to take him down. That’s fine with Guerrero who goes after the knee to take over. Back to the apron and this time it’s a slingshot ankle scissors to send Eddie to the floor as we take a break. Back with Eddie holding Kidman in the Gory Special before switching over to the Gory Special 2000 (basically an Eye of the Storm but by the neck. I’ve never heard it called that before) for two.

A great looking hurricanrana gets the same on Kidman but Eddie makes the mistake of trying a powerbomb. The Shooting Star is countered and Eddie takes him down with a superplex. The fans are WAY into counting along with the referee. Back up and Kidman hammers away but charges into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Another powerbomb attempt goes badly for Eddie as Kidman hurricanranas him out to the floor.

Cue Vampiro to plant Eddie with the Nail in the Coffin behind the referee’s back. Kidman wakes up and, as Larry points out, can’t he take a wild guess at what happened? Apparently he can as he dives onto Vampiro instead of hitting the Shooting Star. Eddie and Vampiro beat Vampiro up as the match is thrown out.

Rating: C+. Of course this was good, but unfortunately it’s there to set up a story for the Insane Clown Posse because of some mainstream exposure that most wrestling fans didn’t care about. This is another match that could have done far better with more time and an actual ending, but that goes for almost all cruiserweight matches.

Rey Mysterio remembers that he’s a cruiserweight and comes out to help in the beatdown. Kidman powerbombs Vampiro down and Eddie nails the Frog Splash for good measure.

No Limit Soldiers vs. Lenny Lane/Lodi

Swoll and Brad Armstrong here with the former in his last match (other than one on Saturday Night) in WCW. Brad and Lenny, complete with pigtails here get things going with Lenny doing the talk to the hand thing. We stop again because it’s time for a brother hug. Brad finally grabs a hammerlock, probably being wondering how he managed to get here. Off to Lodi vs. Swoll, who shrugs off an armbar attempt. Lenny tries the same hold, only to have both Swoll clothesline both guys out to the floor. Granted he hit them in the chest but somehow that’s a major step in the right direction.

Thankfully it’s back to Brad who clotheslines Lodi to the floor, only to get tripped down so the, ahem, comedy team can take over. Lenny hammers Brad, Lodi hammers Brad, Swoll tries to make a save but backs down, hours of fun! Well at least it feels like hours. Lane nails Lodi (a commentary joke waiting to happen) and the hot tag brings in Swoll. Let’s get this over with. Swoll cleans house and everything breaks down, and the palm thrust is enough to end Lodi.

Rating: F+. Brad Armstrong, I feel so sorry for you. He had to get stuck in this horrible gimmick, basically babysitting Swoll because the guy can’t do something as simple as a clothesline without screwing it up. The guy needed a lot more training and a WAY better finisher before he might be ready for a low level show. He comes off like a big muscle guy who saw wrestling on TV and wanted to do it without knowing what it entailed. As usual, the power of nepotism means we have to suffer through his push, which thankfully is ending here. Lenny and Lodi are the same guys they’ve been for weeks and it keeps getting worse.

Nash vs. Hogan video.

This Week in WCW Motorspots.

Booker T. vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

This could be good if they let it last more than a few minutes. Bigelow shrugs him off to start and Booker needs a new strategy. He tries a dropkick instead (clearly inspired by Scotty Riggs) and knocks Bigelow to the floor. For some reason it takes Bigelow a good while to get back in and we take a break. Back with Booker fighting out of a chinlock and Bigelow running into a raised boot. The flying forearm has Bigelow reeling and the Ax Kick connects, only to have Page break up the Hangover for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Yeah they really didn’t care here and it showed badly. Matches like this one might be the most frustrating to sit through as it’s clear that the wrestlers just want to get out of there and get on with the angle stuff after the match. Harlem Heat vs. the Triad is good enough and might end the Triad’s title reign, but matches like these aren’t going to make me want to see the blowoff.

Booker eats a 3D post match as David Flair comes out with spray paint. They paint a diamond on Booker’s back until Stevie comes out, only to take a Diamond Cutter of his own. So wait, why is the Triad still associating with Flair? Ric has no power and David is worthlesss, so why would they want a liability like that in their corner? In theory it’s either overconfidence or money, but a quick promo would help a lot. Of course I don’t think WCW remembers that Ric is out of power yet so the promo might make things worse.

We see Hogan going through the table again.

Hogan vs. Nash video, the same one from about thirty minutes ago.

Video on Rodman vs. Savage.

Gene brings out Randy Savage for a chat. Okerlund asks where George is but Savage is uncharacteristically silent. He isn’t worried about all the people that are out to get him because Rodman and Nash are dust on his shoulders and Hogan is dust off……a rather personal place. Savage has a major announcement to make. Gene: “Save it for the Hotline!” That sounds like a line from a parody sketch. This coming Monday, Savage is going to reveal George’s bodyguard for Road Wild and it’s the same person that was driving the Hummer. I smell either a swerve or nothing happening and this never being mentioned again.

Diamond Dallas Page was on Hollywood Squares.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Chris Benoit

Nitro rematch where Chris picked up the win. No Kanyon this week, as Page explains that he’s breaking in (not into in case you misread that) a million dollar home in Jersey. He calls the fans stupid, just like Benoit’s mama. There’s a good history between these two and they’re capable of having good matches but the feud is built off your mama jokes?

Benoit comes a-charging and knocks Page out to the floor, setting up a big plancha to wake the crowd up a bit. Back in and Benoit nails the snap suplex but has to go outside to fight Bigelow. The distraction works as Page nails Benoit from the apron and whips him into various steel objects. Why is it always steel? I know it sounds good but was there never any other metal available to make things from?

Back in and the helicopter bomb and Rock Bottom get two each and Page slaps on an abdominal stretch. Benoit finally hiptosses out and it’s time to roll some Germans with the third sending Page flying. Cue David again to slide Page the US Title. The Swan Dive hits the gold and Page covers the unconscious Benoit for the pin.

Rating: C. I’m not sure where they’re headed with this but they need to get the title onto either Page or Benoit in the very near future. The longer Flair holds it the weaker the other matches get because just like the TV Title on Steiner, the belt is basically being held hostage and there’s nothing for these guys to fight over. Yeah Benoit and Page can have good matches, but I need more to care about than some jokes I heard on the bus in sixth grade.

Video on Goldberg vs. Rick Steiner.

Goldberg vs. Rocco Rock

Well in theory at least as the graphic said Public Enemy. Rocco stalls on the floor to start, which is probably his best bet. He finally comes in and eats a shoulder block followed by the big press slam. Grunge comes in and gets the same sort of a beating. Back to Rock who hammers away in the corner but gets launched across the ring. A powerslam plants Rocco but Grunge slides in a chair. They take turns blasting Goldberg in the back with the chair before setting up a table in the corner. That’s fine with Goldberg (and the referee) as he spears both guys through the table, setting up the Jackhammer on Rock for the pin.

Rating: D. The match sucked but the idea made sense. This was Goldberg being himself and the fans continued to eat it up. I’m sure that’s the idea behind putting him with Steiner because….well you see…yeah there’s no logical reason to do that. The guy is over but they’re not going to put the TV Title on him, making the Road Wild match just a way to give Goldberg a win that really doesn’t mean much, which he gets almost weekly anyway. Also, was there a reason this wasn’t a handicap match?

Overall Rating: D+. As has been the case for weeks now, WCW is just trying to steady the ship while WWF is on a cruise around the world. Around this time, Raw may be at a very low level on the quality scale, but it’s through the roof on an entertainment scale. That being said, all Raw has to do at the moment is be more entertaining than Nitro and Thunder and it’s doing that by a landslide.

The other major issue for WCW at the moment is where do they go from here. There’s really nothing on the horizon for them unless they’re going to do Goldberg vs. Hogan again, which would be more interesting with Hogan in his old style. However, it’s really hard to promote that as your main event when WWF is riding Austin and Rock for all they’re worth and has so much talent waiting to break through to the next level. Until WCW starts moving forward, this war is going to be completely one sided.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #199
Date: August 2, 1999
Location: Sioux Falls Arena, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Scott Hudson

I’m really starting to feel sorry for the wrestlers in this company. They have to work hard and try to carry this show to something resembling wrestling while the old guard just won’t shut up and get out of the way. There’s room for the older generation in a company because the young guys have no credibility without wins over established names, but there comes a point where it’s time to pass the torch. Unfortunately that was well over a year ago. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event stuff in case you’re having a hard time staying awake this week.

Recap of Hogan vs. Nash with Goldberg basically as a plot device.

We see Harlem Heat reuniting on Thunder.

Harlem Heat vs. Kanyon/Bam Bam Bigelow

Non-title with Page not in wrestling gear. Before the match he makes more your mama jokes about Benoit. He goes one step further though by saying David Flair is a better US Champion than Benoit could ever be. Oh you know it’s on now. Well at least Harlem Heat’s music is on, minus the pyro. Also in an amusing bit: Booker told Stevie to take off the black and white to reform the team. Naturally tonight, they’re in black and white.

Page leaves so Booker and Kanyon can have a Raise the Roof contest. Booker cranks on the arm and nails a dropkick before it’s off to his brother. Kanyon is mediocrekicked outside and Bigelow comes in for a power brawl. It’s Bigelow hammering him down until Stevie actually blocks a suplex and takes Bigelow over with one of his own. Booker and Kanyon come back in to try and make this a bit more interesting. Seriously if you have those two in a match, why would you ever let it be Stevie vs. Bigelow?

Anyway, Bigelow offers a distraction so Kanyon can poke Booker in the eye. Another suplex puts Booker down and Bigelow adds the top rope headbutt for two. It’s not quite Benoit, but then again maybe Bigelow’s mama was worse than Chris’. Booker fights up again and hammers away before nailing the flying forearm.

The hot tag brings in Stevie for big boots all around as the fans just not care. Everything breaks down and Stevie breaks up Greetings From Asbury Park. Not a Springsteen fan I guess. The Harlem Sidekick sends Kanyon to the floor and Booker goes up top, only to have Page come out and get on the apron. This brings out Benoit for a save, allowing Booker to dropkick Kanyon for the pin.

Rating: C+. This one is a mixed bag for me as the match was a nice change of pace from the stuff I’ve been sitting through lately, but at the same time I’m really not liking the idea that Booker T. is back in the same tag team he was stuck in for about four years. Harlem Heat used to be great, but I really don’t want to see the team again in late 1999.

Booker is the guy that should be the US Champion, but instead we’re sitting through an angle designed to make Ric look corrupt, even though he doesn’t have the power anymore. Is there a reason why Sting hasn’t done something about that yet? Does WCW even know that Sting has been in charge for like two weeks now? If they do, why hasn’t he like, done something yet?

Benoit wants a match later with Page.

Lenny and Lodi ask Ernest where he shops. Because they’re gay you see and gay men like to shop. HAVE THEY MADE IT CLEAR TO YOU THAT THEY’RE GAY YET??? I DON’T KNOW IF THEY’VE BEATEN IT OVER YOUR HEAD ENOUGH YET SO I THOUGHT I MIGHT SHOUT TO GET IT INTO YOUR HEAD SOME MORE! Did I mention this story is getting on my nerves?

Opening sequence.

Chad Brock will be performing next week. I don’t know who he is either.

Here’s President Sting with something to say. He wants Sid and Steiner out here tonight but needs a partner. The fans chant for Goldberg and Sting seems to think that’s quite a jolly idea. He’ll be back here at 9pm to get Goldberg’s answer.

Sonny and the Cat (sounds like a 1970s Saturday morning cartoon show) come out to rip on Buff’s bunny slippers deal last week. Tonight he’s going to whip someone without his red slippers, so he wants Lenny and Lodi out here right now. If they show up, he’ll tell them where he shops. Apparently this is a match.

The Cat vs. Lenny Lane/Lodi

They’re now wearing glitter and sucking on lollipops. Miller rams their heads together to start and throws Lodi to the floor before beating on Lenny. Lane goes outside as well and we have a chase involving Onoo. Back in and a pair of Feliners drop the brothers so Miller can pin Lane.

Ok, time to pause for a second. Let’s take a look at this. We have two men who are apparently gay, even though I don’t think it’s actually been said yet. On top of that, they follow almost every gay stereotype in the book, ranging from bright clothing to glitter to shopping. Then apparently they’re stupid enough that Miller can beat them both up in less than two minutes because they’re weak fighters. Oh and they’re brothers because why not make an incest joke too.

What in the world is the point of this storyline? If there’s any reason behind it other than to make fun of gay people, I certainly can’t see it. I tend to think that a lot of official statements and complaints from groups due to something they find offensive are stupid and a case where they need to just grow thicker skin, but this deserved every single lawsuit, complaint and raking over the coals that WCW got.

Compare them to the version that came three years later: Billy and Chuck. Now I’m not saying Billy and Chuck were some great leap forward for gay rights, but they were done roughly 19,000% better than Lenny and Lodi. To begin with, they won the Smackdown Tag Team Titles twice. In other words, they actually WON something. Have Lenny and Lodi won a single match between the two of them since this story started?

On top of that, and most importantly of all, they weren’t treated as something horrible and worthless. Yeah they were played for comedy, but the comedy felt much more lighthearted with them. Lenny and Lodi are seemingly getting beaten up because they’re easy targets. Billy and Chuck came off as stupid, but harmless for the most part. This story though comes off as offensive, low brow and really, really hateful. I could have gone with this story until they were suddenly brothers, because that changed this from something amusing to WCW trying to shock people and get a rise out of them.

Here’s Gene, who suddenly loves Hogan again. Okerlund always was a fickle guy. Anyway here’s Hogan in the black and white and a necklace made of paperclips (seriously) but minus the beard. Apparently the chicks have been all over him since he shaved. Sounding like Hulk instead of Hollywood, he talks about bleeding last week and how the cameras had to pan away before kids got scared. Oh come on that cut was so lame that even the Maryland State Athletic Commission wouldn’t have stopped the match. Anyway, Nash is a woman and Hogan is SHOOTING. Nash can have his title shot tonight if he wants one.

Sting comes out to get Goldberg’s answer. We see Goldberg looking at a clock and heading towards the ring, only to run into Rick Steiner before he gets through the curtain. Steiner lures him into a room where Sid is waiting with a snow shovel. Goldberg gets blasted in the head a few times but Sting runs into the back.

This goes as well as you would think it would as Sid and Steiner beat Sting down as well before dragging him back to the ring. Sting fights back but eats a chokeslam, only to have Goldberg run out for the save. You would think a SNOW SHOVEL TO THE BACK from a 6’10 300+lb monster would have more effect than it did in Home Alone but whatever. Goldberg wants to fight and I think we have our main event. This was actually a really well done segment and set up the match quite well. Unfortunately the match is going to be a disaster but the build was good.

Evan Karagias vs. Disco Inferno

Karagias speeds things up to start with some hiptosses and dropkicks. You can tell there’s something here as the announcers actually stop prattling on about the main event to hype Evan. Of course as they do that, Disco comes back with his usual barrage of clotheslines and atomic drops, followed by a middle rope forearm to the face for two. A second attempt misses though and Evan comes back with some right hands and a powerslam. Evan grabs a nice snap suplex but Disco actually uses his experience to hold the ropes to avoid a dropkick. The Last Dance is enough for the pin.

Rating: C. Hokey smoke that was actually entertaining while it lasted. It’s so rare for a match like this to have some thought put into it. Yeah it’s a basic story with Evan being full of fire but Disco using his experience to catch him trying for one too many moves, but the fact that there’s something to a match this short says a lot. I’ve said it time and time again: when you cut out all the nonsense and over thinking of a match and just let guys tell a story, it’s going to be entertaining because most wrestlers on this level are talented enough to make a match work.

Torrie thinks David should only have to defend the title when he feels like it because he’s already beaten everyone. Ok then.

Video on David Flair’s US Title reign.

KISS is here in three weeks.

Nitro Girls.

Sid says…..something in a whisper that I couldn’t understand other than the word Goldberg.

Hugh Morrus/Jerry Flynn vs. Dean Malenko/Shane Douglas

The youth movement is officially dubbed the Revolution. Dean tries a Cloverleaf in the first ten seconds but Morrus makes a fast save. The Revolution quickly clears the ring and stands tall. Well not really but you get the idea. Back in and it’s Morrus gorilla pressing Shane, which I’m sure is Ric Flair’s fault somehow. Shane escapes and dropkicks Hugh down, but that’s enough wrestling for Shane so it’s back to Malenko for a rollup.

Apparently Dean isn’t cool with Shane showing up and jumping into this group with people who have put up with WCW’s nonsense so he tags him right back in. Hugh nails a clothesline but takes too long loading up No Laughing Matter, allowing Shane to slam him down. A double tag brings in Malenko to hammer away on Flynn, only to take another clothesline. Jimmy Hart gets involved by tripping Malenko to the mat before Flynn starts kicking.

We run through the gauntlet of all the standard face in peril spots from the sunset flip broken up by a tag, the referee not seeing the tag and the heels taking turns with really basic moves. Flynn misses his 495^th kick of the match and Dean dives over to make the tag. Douglas cleans house with right hands and a powerslam on Flynn for two. Everything breaks down and the Pittsburgh Plunge is enough to pin Jerry.

Rating: D+. Sweet they have a really simple name now and they even beat a nothing tag team! Clearly they’re ready to move to the top of the company and take over the industry. This push seems to be too little too late as we had to sit through Bagwell’s push just dying and the Triad going over the Revolution time after time, save for I think a three day title reign for Benoit and Saturn. At the end of the day, these guys could light the world on fire but it’s never going to matter because WCW is too busy booking musical acts for the show instead of paying attention to guys working hard to entertain the people.

Malenko takes the Hardcore Trophy from Hart and says he’s bringing this back to Fit Finlay where it belongs.

Speaking of the musical acts, KISS is still coming in three weeks.

Goldberg Megadeath video.

Nitro Girls.

In a bizarre segment, Rick Steiner comes out, throws Scott Hudson into the ring for a belly to belly, and is taken out by security as we take a break.

We come back with Bischoff joining commentary as Hudson is taken into an ambulance. Great, now we get another hour and a half of Bischoff babbling about doing the right thing, which makes me think of Stephanie McMahon’s stupid interviews where she just goes on and on about whatever her latest endeavor is and how important it is while no one else in the world has any idea or cares what the heck she’s talking about.

Sturn comes out for his match and Bischoff immediately starts talking about how Saturn and the Revolution will be taking the company into the next generation. I’m sure that’s why you booked Bagwell vs. Piper in a freaking boxing match a few weeks back and are giving us Hogan vs. Nash at Road Wild while the Revolution doesn’t actually have a match announced.

As if that wasn’t enough, Hennig comes out before the match and rips on Chad Brock for not being a real country singer. So the Revolution can’t get a feud but the freaking country singer can get one? Again, you can see why this company is about to die from here. Maybe Benoit and company should put out a record and get on the radio if they want a spot in the main event. Or they should stop having good matches and turn 40.

Anyway Hennig sends Duncum in to fight and Saturn plants him with a Death Valley Driver immediately. Saturn wants Hennig in there right now because he isn’t a real cowboy. Time for a replacement match.

Saturn vs. Curt Hennig

Saturn is all over him like over the hill wrestlers on an episode of Nitro and quickly knocks him into the corner for some right hands to the face. Possibly too drunk to feel pain, Hennig knocks him out of the corner and nails a quick neck snap. Curt hits his knee lift as Bischoff talks about Hennig in the WWF for no apparent reason. A low blow puts Saturn back down (just make them legal. I don’t remember the last week that went by without one of those happening.) but he rips Curt’s shirt off. Back up and Saturn nails a quick spinwheel kick and the Death Valley Driver but the Windhams run in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was just story development as I’m assuming we’re setting up the Rednecks vs. the Revolution at Road Wild. That being said, it really wasn’t the best match in the world but again, that’s due to the lack of time. I kind of which they could have taken out Kendall Windham instead of Duncum because Bobby actually has some potential rather than just a famous last name, but this went five minutes and didn’t manage to bury any talent or put the first 20 rows to sleep so they’re improving.

The Rednecks try to tie Saturn up but the rest of the Revolution comes in for the save.

Video of Benoit getting screwed out of the US Title last week.

Chris Benoit vs. Diamond Dallas Page

All this over a your mama joke. They spit at each other to start until Page nails him in the ribs and grabs a quick belly to back suplex. Benoit will not be outsuplexed by anyone so he slaps on the Crossface, sending Page scurrying to the floor. Back in and Page nails a quick neckbreaker but the Diamond Cutter is stopped and Benoit grabs the snap suplex.

Remember a year and a half back when these two and Raven were tearing up the midcard over the US Title? Well now Benoit is still the same guy he was before and Page has just been going through the motions for months now, basically wasting all of his time built up as a top guy. Anyway Page elbows him in the face and hits that very nice helicopter bomb (that should be a finisher. It worked in No Mercy so it works in real life) for two.

Another low blow keeps Benoit in trouble and a spinebuster gets yet another two. Page goes up top for the sole purpose of getting crotched and superplexed to put both guys down again. Benoit rolls some Germans but, say it with me, Page hits him low to escape. A Rock Bottom gets two for Page but Benoit plants him with a DDT. The Swan Dive connects as David Flair comes out, only to get knocked off the apron. The distraction lets Page grab a rollup but Benoit reverses into one of his own for the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty good, hard hitting match here as Benoit gets a pin over a former World Champion. Like I said it’s a far cry from their great US Title match on Thunder the previous year, but it’s always good to see Benoit get something like this. It wasn’t even that overbooked with just the Flair interference near the end. Now if only Benoit gets to keep this momentum going.

And of course it lasts all of 8 seconds as Benoit eats a two Diamond Cutters plus one off the top as the Triad comes in. David taunts Benoit with the belt, apparently continuing their…..I’m not sure what to call it because a three minute beating with a screwy ending doesn’t sound like much of a feud.

Here’s Savage on his own to talk to Okerlund. He’s suspended his campaign for President (oh darn the luck) because he has to hurt Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash and Dennis Rodman. He wants Rodman out here right now but gets the former Miss Madness instead. Mona begs to be back on his team again so Savage shoves her down to her knees. Savage looks at her and says she’s still fired.

Cue Rodman with the No Limit Soldiers and oh dear goodness why are they mixing these stories? Rodman says George is his now, presumably because once you’ve gone black you never go back. Rodman: “Once you go black, you never go back.” Mona hits Savage low and Rodman comes in for the same offense he had back in 1997 and the fans love it as we go to a break.

Why are these two feuding? That’s a serious question. One night Savage just started talking trash about Rodman and now we’re watching this mess every week. As has been my issue for months, why isn’t this ANY ACTIVE WCW WRESTLER fighting Savage and getting this rub by association? It worked wonders for Page last year but now it’s all about Dennis Rodman for the short term celebrity moment. If nothing else, have some young guy fight with Rodman. Also, who am I supposed to cheer for here? The kidnapper or the woman beater?

Vampiro vs. Eddie Guerrero

Vampiro has Raven and the Clowns with him. It’s amusing hearing Heenan talk about the Insane Clown Posse when he clearly has no idea who they are and would love to rip on them if not for Bischoff sitting next to him. Eddie stomps him into the corner to start as Bischoff tries to apologize for the comments made in the previous segment. I’d prefer he just apologize for the previous segment but I’d rather not hear him talk about doing the right thing again.

A clothesline turns Vampiro inside out but Raven trips Eddie up to take over. Eddie is sent outside and knocks a cameraman over as the Clowns get in some cheap shots. They whip him into the steps before Vampiro and Eddie trade chops back inside. Vampiro gets armdragged off the top and dropkicked over the top, only Shaggy. Eddie hits a great looking dive to put them down again but Raven shoves him off the top, setting up the Nail in the Coffin for the pin.

Rating: C-. Good grief stop with the celebrities! We have Brock, Rodman and the Clowns all on the show plus KISS coming in to perform in a few weeks and getting two separate videos so far tonight. They have such a huge roster but insist on bringing in those people to keep taking spots and going further and further into the hole against Raw. But hey, Bischoff is saying how great the Revolution is so that has to mean something right?

The Clowns beat Eddie down post match but Mysterio comes out for the save.

Berlyn is coming. I actually liked that character.

Hogan comes out for commentary with Bischoff. Oh this is going to hurt.

Sid/Rick Steiner vs. Goldberg/Sting

Hogan’s first gem is about wanting to pass the torch to Sting. There’s a LONG rant about Starrcade 1997 in there but I want to get this over with. It’s a big brawl on the floor to start until Sting suplexes Sid over the top and back into the ring. That lasts all of four seconds before they head back outside and switch things up. I guess these old guys can’t handle having a match at this point. Steiner sends Sting into the buckles back inside before tagging Sid in as the match actually gets going.

Sting takes his second chokeslam of the night but Goldberg makes a fast save. That’s enough for Sting to start a comeback but a splash on the mat hits knees. Sid’s legdrop hits the mat though and Sting loads up the Scorpion, only to have Steiner break it up. Everything breaks down again with Goldberg being sent to the apron. Naturally it’s time to cheat but Hogan takes a chair from Rick and blasts him in the head with it, drawing a DQ.

Rating: D. Standard angle disguised as a wrestling match here with Goldberg never actually tagging in. It’s a shame that the main event is being hogged by these guys but that’s a broken record at this point. This is clearly setting up a big six man followed by three singles matches at the PPV. In other words, Goldberg went from World Champion to gone for months to the TV Title against Rick Steiner while Hogan and Nash have the main event title program because Nash felt like turning heel. This really shouldn’t surprise you.

Cue Nash to powerbomb Hogan through the announcers’ table to end the show. It’s a good thing there were no monitors on the table and that it was clearly gimmicked.

Overall Rating: C-. I hate to admit it but they’re getting a little better. Maybe I’m just numb to how bad WCW is at this point but I didn’t hate this episode. I hated things about it but the wrestling was mostly fine and the stories actually advanced. Granted the stories are mostly about the celebrities and old people but they are indeed advancing. At this point it’s more that you have to just accept what you’re given with WCW because the chances of them getting it right get weaker and weaker every week.

The Revolution stuff continues to frustrate me every week. You can see them chomping at the bit to take over, but they’re clearly running on a treadmill, perpetually stuck being the guys waiting to take over instead of ever actually taking over. Those spots are saved for the guys that were draws before and will be draws in the future because once you’re a draw, you’re ALWAYS a draw, but apparently you can’t become a draw for some reason. Even Goldberg, who was the hottest guy in the world not named Austin last year, is looking more like a catalyst to get to the real main event of Hogan vs. Nash. Better but still weak show here.

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Monday Nitro #198
Date: July 26, 1999
Location: Mid-South Coliseum, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 7,201
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Bobby Heenan

We’re less than three weeks away from Road Wild and the top of the card is starting to come into focus. Nash took a very sharp heel turn last week, seemingly for no reason other than Hogan vs. Nash needed to be face vs. heel. On top of that, Thunder actually set some stuff up for tonight, such as Nash/a mystery partner vs. Hogan/whomever he can find, plus Hennig vs. Goldberg. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of last week’s major events, including Sting winning control back and Rodman attacking Savage.

Recap of Hennig challenging Goldberg from Thunder.

Video on Goldberg.

Gene brings out Hogan for an opening chat and brings up Nash’s challenge for the tag match tonight. Hogan doesn’t have a partner, but he does have the title. Cue Nash, Steiner and Sid to beat Hogan down until Sting makes the save.

Back from a break with a recap of what we just saw.

Psychosis/Juventud Guerrera vs.Kendall Windham/Bobby Duncum Jr.

Juvy wants to start and springboards in, only to dive into Bobby’s boot. The Rednecks take over to start with their slow Texas pummeling until Duncum charges into a boot to the face. A missile dropkick sends Bobby into the corner for the tag off to Kendall, who knocks Guerrera into the corner. Juvy doesn’t tag for some reason, allowing the Rednecks to beat him down even more. Bobby misses an elbow to the jaw and Juvy finally tags out.

It’s Psychosis in with some fast kicks to the face followed by a springboard missile dropkick from Guerrera. Kendall comes back with a hot shot and BIG lariat to take Psychosis down as the Rednecks regain control. Duncum gets two off a shoulder breaker, setting up a Windham belly to back superplex for two on Psychosis. An attempted tag to Juvy goes nowhere and a double bulldog is enough for the pin.

Rating: C. The ending here was kind of awkward but the luchadors put on a decent effort. This is the weaker half of the Rednecks and it’s getting a bit annoying to see the team out there getting cheered when we’re supposed to be booing them because WCW doesn’t understand its own fans. Nice little match though and that’s a step up for WCW.

Country singer Chad Brock will be performing live in two weeks.

Madusa and Miss Madness will be having a match at Road Wild but they can still insult Gorgeous George. Ignore the phone ringing during this segment.

Vampiro vs. Rey Mysteiro Jr.

Non-title because the Cruiserweight Title means nothing anymore. The Insane Clown Posse is in Vampiro’s corner because they think they’re wrestlers. Vampiro easily shoves Rey down to start and nails him with a clothesline. Rey finally gets up and dropkicks the knee out before a regular dropkick puts Vampiro on the floor. The Clowns have a quick meeting with Vampiro outside before he heads inside for a Rock Bottom to plant Mysterio again.

Rey ducks a spinwheel kick though and nails a Fameasser in the ropes. The Clowns offer a distraction though and the Nail in the Coffin knocks Rey silly. Vampiro goes up though, only to get crotched. We’re not done with the Clowns though, as Jay holds Vampiro’s legs to prevent a super hurricanrana, allowing Vampiro to powerbomb Rey off the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C. Again the match was fine and it’s nice to see someone new getting a bit of a push, even though it has to be thanks to the Clowns. That being said, this was a nice change of pace as the underdog good guy was fighting big odds and lost to cheating heels. That’s wrestling 101 and it’s going to work every time. Granted it helps that these wrestlers aren’t my grandparents’ age.

Eddie runs out to save Rey from a beatdown.

Vincent vs. Stevie Ray

Well you knew the good stuff wasn’t going to last forever. Vincent, with Horace in his corner, rips on Stevie for having a heart about his brother before jumping Ray on the way into the ring. Ray shrugs him off and nails a hard elbow to the face, setting up a Flair Flop. A powerslam puts Vincent down again but he comes back with a low blow, which is totally legal anymore in WCW. Horace tries to interfere but Ray whips Vincent into him to knock Sergeant Nepotism (David Flair would be the Captain of course). Ray loads up the Slap Jack as Booker comes out to cut off Adams. The Slap Jack (move) is enough to end Vincent.

Rating: D. If this is what it takes to finally end the NWO, I guess I can survive it. It’s still not a good match or anything, but at least they kept this under four minutes. Unfortunately it means we have to see Booker T. get dropped back into the tag team scene instead of moving up the card like he should be. Granted, that’s probably a good thing at this point.

Sting goes into Hogan’s dressing room.

Post match here’s President Sting to say that he’s made his first decision as boss: he’s going to be Hogan’s partner tonight. Hogan comes out and says he’s not Hollywood anymore and promises not to stab Sting in the back. Sting says that’s fine, but if Hogan does screw him, Sting will “getcha”.

Jason freaking Hervey joins the broadcast booth to make up for the bad taste Arliss left on him last week.

Prince Iaukea vs. Lash Leroux

Iaukea grabs a quick armdrag to take Lash down but slaps him in the face. Not that it matters as Savage and George come out to beat up both guys for the no contest less than a minute in.

Savage babbles about running for President until Madusa and the former Miss Madness come out to insult George. Madusa is on Savage’s side in this, but George is the real problem. In the distraction, Dennis Rodman sneaks in and kidnaps George.

KISS is coming.

Savage is looking for George.

Goldberg comes out, says he’s going to hurt Hennig, and that’s about it.

The Cat vs. Evan Karagias

Miller makes his usual offer as Hervey plugs some movie he’s in with DDP. Of course he doesn’t mention the name of the movie or when/where we can see it but he does mention it. Cat takes Evan down with a clothesline to start and we appear to be in squash mode, which makes me think there’s a swerve coming. Kicks abound, broken up by a dancing elbow from Miller.

A sunset flip doesn’t get Evan anywhere so Ernest dances and kicks him in the face. Evan comes back with a forearm and a nice springboard cross body. Cue Onoo for a distraction so Miller can get the shoes, but he finds bunny slippers instead of the ruby slippers. Bagwell pops up on stage with the red shoes, allowing Evan to get a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. Somehow this was tolerable as Miller is starting to get the hang of being a heel. He’s still nothing to see in the ring but at least he’s starting to find something other than just kicking all the time. This is a waste of Bagwell, but at least he might get a win out of the thing.

Mikey Whipwreck vs. Steven Regal

The announcers explain that Finlay has injured his leg in a hardcore match last night and may never wrestle again. During Regal’s entrance, a fan jumps the barricade but is quickly taken down by security. As you would expect, Regal takes it to the mat to start and easily rides Whipwreck. Back up and Mikey tries to quicken the pace with some armdrags and a headscissors, sending Regal over to the warm cuddling arms of Dave Taylor.

Regal gets back in and takes Whipwreck down again before cranking on the arm. That goes nowhere though because Hart’s First Family (about as over as anyone all night) comes out to say the Brits can get the Hardcore Trophy back at Road Wild. We get an Andy Kaufman reference, allowing Hervey to try to sound intelligent, making him all the ore annoying.

The distraction lets Whipwreck grab a quick rollup for two and a nice pinfall reversal sequence doesn’t get anyone anywhere. Regal drops a leg for two but gets rolled up for the same. Now it’s Mikey taking him into the corner for the top rope hurricanrana, only to have Taylor blast him with the Union Jack, setting up the Regal Stretch for the submission.

Rating: C. They’re actually bringing some decent wrestling tonight, perhaps due to letting talented people get a few minutes in there. The match wasn’t anything great, but it was nice to see some wrestling going on. You know, in between the various interference that this match just had to have. I’m still not quite sure why Mikey was hired, unless it was so that he couldn’t work for ECW.

Mike gets covered by the Union Jack.

Here are David Flair and Torrie for a chat. David does all his dad’s catchphrases (including saying to be IN the man) and has Torrie say he looks good. Short version of this is David will be champion as long as he wants.

Savage swears a lot and storms into Rodman’s trailer with the censor missing an F bomb.

Shane Douglas is here to help his friends and cut out the cancer called Ric Flair. I really don’t like it when you hear wrestling angles called cancer.

Goldberg vs. Curt Hennig

Hervey brags about having access to WCW clips and how great a job Goldberg does. Hudson: “I don’t think Goldberg does jobs at all!” I chuckled a bit. Anyway Goldberg throws Hennig around with ease and slams him out to the floor. The Rednecks offer a distraction so Hennig can nail Goldberg with a cowbell for no cover. Goldberg pops back up and powerslams Hennig down, drawing in the Rednecks to be quickly dispatched. Curt grabs a chair but backs down instead, giving Goldberg a DQ win due to the interference. They couldn’t have Hennig get pinned by GOLDBERG?

Goldberg spits on Hennig post match to draw him back in, only to knock Curt right back to the floor.

Video on Hogan vs. Nash, featuring a big backstory on the NWO. I’ll give them points for making it feel like a big deal, but making it face Hogan vs. heel Nash has really hurt my interest in the match.

Patty Stone Grinder vs. Madusa

Stone Grinder is former WWF Women’s Champion Lelani Kai as a biker. Hervey spends the entrances bragging about being a network actor, making him better than Arliss. Patty jumps Madusa as she gets in the ring and chokes her with a chain. Some bad looking knees have Madusa in trouble as Hudson runs down upcoming Nitro dates. Patty drops her with a butterfly suplex but Madusa comes back with a clothesline to knock Grinder to the floor for a big dive. Back in and the German suplex ends Patty to end the Wrestlemania X rematch.

Rating: D. You know, I had a big rant set up about how this is the best WCW can do to compete with the WWF’s women’s division, but then I realized that Fabulous Moolah was about three months away from winning the title again. However, that at least had some nostalgia and charm to it. This was Madusa beating up whatever relic WCW could find who could work a passable match. It’s really all the proof you need that they didn’t care about this division and just put it together for the sake of saying they had one. To be fair though, that’s basically what WWF did with the light heavyweight division around this time.

Shane Douglas vs. Scott Putski

Scott actually gets the first blows in with some clotheslines and a snap suplex for two. A backdrop has Shane in even more trouble but he finally grabs a neckbreaker to take over. We actually get a reference to Shane’s WCW tenure back in 1992. Shane piledrives Putski for two and we hit a chinlock. Way to show WCW that fire you’re bringing with you Douglas. Putski fights up like a jobber should and walks into the Pittsburgh Plunge (fisherman’s buster) for the pin.

Rating: D+. So to recap, Shane Doulgas is back from ECW to cut out the cancer known as Ric Flair for holding Shane down in ways he never has the time to explain and he starts by having issues beating Scott Putski. I’ve never been a Douglas fan and this is yet another reason of why I feel justified in that thinking.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. David Flair

Little Naitch is refereeing and Benoit is challenging of course. Benoit easily takes him down to start and rips David’s chest off with chops to send the champ to the floor. David tries to leave but Robinson tells him to keep going. Back in and more chops have David screaming, followed by a backbreaker and Liontamer. The champ taps but Robinson just lets him suffer. The Swan Dive sets up the Crossface, only to have DDP come in with a belt shot to give David the pin.

Rating: D. Do I need to explain this one? Again, I actually like the idea behind Flair as they’re openly acknowledging that he’s horrible and only there because his dad was the boss but…..wait why can they still get away with this cheating with Sting in charge now? Shouldn’t that have stopped immediately?

Malenko, Saturn, Douglas and the rest of the Triad run in for a big brawl.

TV Title: Chase Tatum vs. Rick Steiner

Tatum, a No Limit Soldier, comes out to heavy metal. Steiner just mauls him in the corner with right hands and knees to the back. A shoulder drops Rick for a few seconds but another suplex sets up the Steiner Bulldog to retain.

Hollywood Hogan/Sting vs. Kevin Nash/Sid

Of course it’s Sid, because that’s the least logical option outside of Randy Savage. Somehow that means this could be worse if you can actually believe that. Hogan doesn’t bring the belt with him for no apparent reason. Speaking of no apparent reason, there is no reason for either of these teams to trust each other given their recent and distant histories. Again, Sid tried to MURDER Nash a few months back and it’s just forgotten here. By the way, average age of the people in this match: 43, with Sid as the young pup of the group at 38.

Sid tries to take Hogan into the corner to start but Hollywood takes him in instead with a series of right hands. An atomic drop puts Hogan down but Sid is nice enough to help him up. Hogan and Sting get Sid caught between them for a barrage of right hands but Sid blocks a slam. It’s Sid slamming Hogan though, only to miss an elbow drop. Everything breaks down and the good guys clean house.

Back in and Nash slows things down but misses the framed elbow. Sting tries to jump over Nash in the corner but gets caught in Snake Eyes. It’s back to Sid who rakes the eyes to stop Sting’s comeback and we hit the chinlock. Sting fights back again but his splash hits knees and it’s back to Nash. Another comeback is quickly stopped though as Nash knocks Hogan to the floor, leaving no one for Sting to tag.

Nash sends him into the corner and Sting tries another jump, only to have Nash stay in the middle, leaving Sting to just crash into him. Now we get the hot tag to Hogan as everything breaks down again. The referee takes the Stinger Splash by mistake so here’s Rick Steiner to blast Sting with a chair. Hogan cuts his forehead, starts bleeding, and then gets hit in the head to bust him open, giving Nash the easy pin.

Rating: D. Were you expecting anything else here? This was your standard main event tag but the things like Sting just crashing into Nash or Hogan clearly blading in the middle of the ring and bleeding before anyone hit him in the head took away any fun this match could have had. Also, anytime Rick Steiner gets closer to the main event, the match loses more of its value.

Goldberg comes out for the save but gets beaten down as well to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show wasn’t horrible actually as the wrestling and story advancement carried it to a decent enough performance. Things have actually settled down over the last few weeks and a lot of the insanity has gone away. Unfortunately a lot of the ability to remember plot points from week to week has gone away as well, making a lot of the story developments mean absolutely nothing. At least the wrestling helped things out here though, which is better than what you get most of the time anymore.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: July 22, 1999
Location: Mark of the Quad, Moline, Illinois
Attendance: 6,754
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay

Thankfully (I think?) we’re back to a live show this week as we’re getting closer to Road Wild. The main story coming out of Monday is Kevin Nash turning on Hogan for no apparent reason other than the script suggests that we need a heel vs. face title match. Other than that we have Sting in control of the company now, which I barely remember whatsoever. Let’s get to it.

The announcers do their usual intro/hype.

Van Hammer vs. Kaz Hayashi

The Glacier gear is gone. Kaz’s headlock goes as well as you would expect it to and Hammer hits a nice looking gorilla press. Now Kaz tries to slug it out to similar results so he finally dropkicks the knee twice in a row for one, but the kickout sends him flying through the ropes. Hammer runs him over with a Vader clothesline before throwing him right back to the floor. Back in again and Kaz goes after the knee to take the big man down. An elbow drop gets two but Hammer trips his legs to get a breather.

A big old beal sends Hayashi flying and we hit a chinlock. That goes nowhere so Hammer suplexes him down for two but Kaz comes back with every strike he can throw. Kaz actually tries a powerbomb which works as badly as you would expect. Hammer comes back with Snake Eyes and a big boot for two more as frustration is setting in. Back up and Kaz hits a quick bulldog and missile dropkick, only to miss a quick backsplash. A spinebuster and the cobra clutch slam are enough to end Kaz after longer than you would expect.

Rating: C. WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT??? Kaz and Hammer just had a good match that I was actually liking. Granted it’s completely in spite of whatever WCW was trying to do with it as no one is watching this show and it’s in the opening match slot. This was actually entertaining and I had a good time watching it. It had to happen at some point.

Lenny and Lodi are upset about something they have to do later.

The announcers talk about the issues between Savage’s girls.

Brandi Alexander vs. Miss Madness

Alexander is officially “off the independent scene”. Madness is wrestling in a short version of the dress she wears to the ring as a valet. The fans are entirely behind Madness here as she takes Brandi down by the arm. Some dropkicks send Alexander out to the floor and claims a pull of the tights. Back in and Brandi hammers away before throwing Madness across the ring by the hair in a good looking spot. It looks so good that she does it again with Tenay spending way too much time talking about Madness’ long blonde hair.

A hard shot to the face keeps Brandi in control before a clothesline gets two. The fans aren’t pleased with Brandi choking on the ropes but they don’t mind a Boston crab nearly as much. That goes nowhere so Brandi goes up, only to get slammed off the top. A side slam gets two for Madness and a bad looking headscissors sends Brandi down again. Larry: “You gotta get vicious! Pretend there’s a sale!” Madness grabs a suplex but bridges up like a northern lights for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad and was a few light years ahead of what the WWF was doing with its girls at the moment, but it still wasn’t all that great. Miss Madness would get much better as Molly Holly whereas Alexander hasn’t done anything that I can find outside of this and two more matches with Miss Madness later in the year.

A Goldberg video to Crush Em brings out Curt Hennit, who says the Rednecks are much more popular than Goldberg. He’s willing to prove that tonight but thinks we should wait until Monday.

Curt Hennig vs. Chase Tatum

The muscular Chase shoves Curt off to start and knocks him to the corner with a hard shoulder. The Rednecks offer a distraction and Hennig gets in a cheap shot from behind to take over. There’s the Hennig Necksnap and Curt rips at Chase’s eyes for good measure. Curt nails his knee lift and puts on a sleeper but Chase powers out of it again.

Hennig cranks on the leg on the mat as the other Rednecks offer some assistance. Back up and a kind of pumphandle powerslam gets two on Curt but he sends Chase to the floor for a big beatdown. Swoll comes in with the heart “punch” but hits Chase by mistake, setting up the HennigPlex for the pin.

Rating: D. It takes a lot to make Curt Hennig look bad but that’s exactly what Chase just did. Tatum wasn’t anything of note and a generic power guy who probably got this job based on his look. With some more training and experience, he might have fit in with the Natural Born Thrillers in a year or so.

Sid comes up to Lenny and Lodi and wishes the luck in their match tonight. The brothers ask Jimmy Hart for help but he just suggests having a doctor at ringside.

We get a clip of Booker T. saving his brother from the Triad on Monday.

Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Psychosis/Juventud Guerrera

Rey and Juvy get things going but Guerrera quickly tags out. Mysterio tries to deck him as he leaves so Juvy gyrates a lot on the apron. Juvy comes back in without Psychosis doing anything and they trade wristlocks. It’s quickly off to Psychosis again who misses a charge and hits the post to give the good people an early advantage. Eddie comes in and takes Juvy down to the floor before backdropping Rey into a moonsault for an awesome spot. Back in and Eddie throws Guerrera outside again, only to have to bail out of a dive.

We take a break and come back with Rey in Psychosis’ abdominal stretch. That boring hold is upgraded by Psychosis loading him up for an Outsider’s Edge and Juvy coming in with a guillotine legdrop for two. Back to Psychosis who charges into Rey’s boots, allowing Eddie to come in and clean house. Everything breaks down and Rey nails Eddie by mistake, only to have Eddie throw him at Juvy for a headscissors. They’re not done yet though as Rey puts Psychosis on top and throws a charging Rey up for a super hurricanrana and the pin.

Rating: C+. Total spotfest here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Guerrero was basically just a guy there to throw Rey around for the high spots though, which is kind of a waste as the team got together because of Eddie having issues with the other luchadors. Still though, entertaining stuff with some great high spots.

We see Lex Luger, Savage and Gorgeous George on Arliss this coming Sunday.

Here are Savage, Miss Madness and Gorgeous George with something to say. Savage asks for our votes in the 2000 election but quickly moves on to Rodman, ripping on him for wearing women’s closing and hitting him with a purse. Miss Madness is fired for trying to upstage him, meaning Savage rips off her sash. She gets down on her knees and begs for her job but Savage fires her anyway. Savage hasn’t forgotten about Nash either.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Sick Boy

Rick is defending if that’s not clear. Before the match we get the usual catchphrases from the champ and he wants a piece of Goldberg. They circle around each other for a bit until Rick nails a hard Steiner Line. A release German suplex sends Sick Boy flying and Rick rips at his face on the mat. The Steiner Bulldog ends this quick.

We recap the Nash vs. Hogan stuff from Monday.

Nash calls in to the show and challenges Hogan to a tag match this Monday with partners of their choice. Kevin’s partner is a buddy of his that he’s known for nine years. Of course they’re hinting at Hall and I’d be stunned if it was actually him. Nash brings up his history with Hogan and says he only let him into the NWO so he could keep an eye on Hulk, because Hulk has a history of being a backstabbing jerk.

Video of Sting beating Flair with Bischoff counting the fall.

Sid Vicious vs. Lenny/Lodi

A chokeslam plants Lodi in ten seconds and Lenny takes a boot to the face. Sid hits a cobra clutch slam on Lenny, which is another way for Sid to do a chokeslam. Powerbombs for both guys set up a double pin. So the gay brothers are getting beaten up by a monster for no apparent reason. I’m sure this will be well received.

Dean Malenko vs. Ric Flair

They start faster than you would expect with Dean getting dropped by a shoulder, only to have him take Flair down with a quick drop toehold. An early Cloverleaf attempt doesn’t work so Dean hammers Ric out to the floor for a breather. Back in and Dean hammers away in the corner but gets suckered into a thumb to the eye. Ric snapmares him down, only to miss the knee drop. Dean channels his inner Flair and slaps on the Figure Four, only to crawl over to the ropes for a break.

Back up and Dean is sent to the floor as we take a break. We come back with Malenko in full control and sending Ric into the corner for a Flair Flip. Dean works him over on the floor until Asya offers a distraction, allowing Ric to take over with a cheap shot. A Figure Four attempt is countered into a small package but Asya has the referee. Flair counters everything Dean throws at him, including a belly to back suplex to break up a headlock.

Another Figure Four attempt is blocked and Malenko comes back with the leg lariat. Flair tries to bail but runs into Benoit and Saturn. This brings out Bigelow and Kanyon for a brawl but Dean puts on the Cloverleaf. Page comes in from behind to break it up but gets shoved into Asya, only to have Flair grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was fine due to the talent level in there and I liked the idea they were going for with Flair being more experienced and polished than Malenko, allowing him to counter everything Dean threw at him. The ending was overbooked but at least Dean didn’t lose entirely clean.

Overall Rating: C. At this point, Thunder can only really be judged on what happens in the ring. In this case, the wrestling was watchable enough to get through two hours but there’s almost no reason to care about anything. Considering that the matches are almost never referenced on Nitro and nothing here mattered, it basically boils down to whether or not you liked the wrestling. It was decent enough this week so we’ll go right in the middle.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #197
Date: July 19, 1999
Location: Metrocentre, Rockford, Illinois
Attendance: 7,558
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Bobby Heenan

We’re inching closer to Road Wild and we have a main event of World Champion Hollywood Hogan defending against Kevin Nash, who may or may not be a heel now. The main story for tonight though is Sting facing Ric Flair for control of the company, which is a more interesting match as I really don’t remember where these stories go. Let’s get to it.

Quick recap from last week and the opening sequence.

Here’s Sid for an intellectual chat. He can feel the same thing the fans feel in his blood and wants Hogan’s World Title. We get the usual catchphrases and I’m assuming that’s our main event.

Nitro Girls.

Jerry Flynn vs. Fit Finlay

Before the match Jimmy Hart pops up on screen to challenge Finlay for Road Wild, giving him a chance to get the trophy back. Finlay takes over to start and hammers on Jerry in the middle of the ring. Then he hammers him against the ropes and in the corner for good measure. A snapmare and elbow get two on Jerry but he pops up with his spinwheel kick to get a breather. The fans actually cheer for Jerry as he nails a top rope clothesline for two, only to walk into a jawbreaker.

They head outside for some shots into the barricade but the referee takes Finlay’s chair away. We hit the chinlock back inside as Jimmy pops up on screen to cheer for Jerry again. Flynn comes back with his usual jobber offense and chokes against the ropes. He avoids a charging Finlay but walks into the rolling fireman’s carry. Not that it matters though as Finlay leaves to go after Hart, only to get jumped by the First Family, including Flynn. I’m assuming it’s a no contest.

Rating: D-. This is the match that’s supposed to get people to stick with the show? Seriously? This is the best they can come up with? When you have Road Dogg, Bob Holly and Al Snow doing actually entertaining hardcore stuff, at least try to counter with actual hardcore stuff instead of two guys having a bad match. It might actually work. Ok not likely but it could.

JJ Dillon is in the back with Lenny and Lodi. Their contracts have been renewed by something went wrong. Apparently they’re really brothers and should have signed as such. This story just reached a new level of creepy and stupid, which I didn’t think was possible.

Hogan comes out, says he’s going back to his old ways of listening to the fans and accepts Sid’s challenge. Somehow this took five minutes.

Video on Flair vs. Sting.

Norman Smiley vs. Lodi

Lenny and Lodi hug before we get going. Lodi rakes the eyes to take over early on, only to get armdragged down. The spinning slam sends Lodi running to the floor though and it’s time for another embrace. Smiley sends him into the barricade to keep Lodi in trouble though and it’s time for the BIG WIGGLE.

Lenny seems to like the idea and does it too, allowing Lodi to get in a cheap shot to take over. Lodi rolls some suplexes for two with Smiley getting a foot on the ropes. Norman fights up but runs into an elbow to the jaw. We pause for a bit for a consultation between the brothers, only to have Lodi run into a boot in the corner. The Norman’s Conquest goes on and Norman rolls Lodi up for the fast pin.

Rating: D. So we have brothers who…..you know what? I can’t get through this sentence without feeling very wrong. It’s a shock value story and isn’t making me care about either guy any more than I did before. I can’t picture it ending well either as it’s going to get into some uncomfortable areas.

The brothers try the Big Wiggle post match.

DJ Ran.

Eric Bischoff jumps in on commentary. Yay.

Video hyping Sting vs. Flair. Basically Sting says Flair is corrupt (he is) and now Sting wants a match for control of the company.

Sting vs. Ric Flair

Bischoff goes on another rant about what he did wrong. I really don’t know what they’re trying to accomplish with these talks but it comes off like trying to make me care about Bischoff, which would work better if he actually DID something. Sting plants Robinson with a Scorpion Death Drop before the bell, meaning Mickie Jay will come out to referee. Flair looks terrified as reality begins to set in.

The gorilla press plants Flair to start and the chops have no effect. You would think ten years would have taught Flair a lesson already. Sting sends him into the corner but Ric nails a quick low blow to take over. He tries a suplex from the apron to the floor and I’m assuming you know how that turns out. Ric rolls outside and pulls Sting with him, only to eat a hard clothesline.

Back in and Sting nails a big superplex for two as Anderson makes the save. Sting nails Arn but here’s Sid to attack Sting and give us a mini Horsemen reunion. Flair slowly stomps away on Sting and puts on the Figure Four. The ropes are grabbed and Sting gets back up to no sell some more chops. He charges into an elbow though, allowing Flair to go up top. After the required slam off the top, Sting nails some clotheslines but Ric pulls the referee in front of the Stinger Splash. Anderson and Asya come in but are quickly dispatched, allowing Sting to put on the Scorpion. Bischoff comes in and accepts Flair’s submission.

Rating: C+. This was just the greatest hits from Sting vs. Flair, which is fine given that they almost always have a good match. That being said, this felt more about Bischoff’s redemption, even though no one was really interested in seeing him be redeemed anyway. The fact that these two have had what is likely to be the match of the night tells you all about the match selection on this show.

Post match Sid comes in and nails Sting before powerbombing Bischoff. Hogan runs in for the save.

TV Title: Horace vs. Rick Steiner

Let’s get this over with. Steiner hammers away on Horace to start with his usual array of brutally bad offense. Horace pulls him out to the floor but misses a splash on the barricade ala Sting. Back in and Steiner slugs Horace down again with hard shots to the face before putting on a chinlock. Horace fights up with a big boot to knock the champ outside. The referee doesn’t seem to mind the chair shots to Steiner’s back. Kevin Nash seems to mind though as he comes out to send Horace into the steps. The Steiner Bulldog retains the title.

Rating: D. Someone lock Steiner in a room so he can’t hurt any more matches. This was the usual dreadful mess with Rick in there beating up whomever he’s against and barely selling a thing. Horace isn’t much but he’s light years ahead of Rick, who somehow used to be a good hand in the ring.

Nash and Steiner touch fists post match, drawing out Hogan to ask what’s going on. Kevin says it’s personal and that’s that.

Nitro Girls.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Psychosis

We continue the search for Eddie’s wallet. Psychosis misses a charge to start and crashes into the corner, allowing Eddie to baseball slide him out to the floor. Back in and Eddie nails a quick slingshot hilo, only to eat a clothesline from Psychosis. A headscissors and tilt-a-whirl backbreaker get two Eddie and we head outside again.

Eddie is sent into the barricade to work on the ribs so Psychosis throws him back in for a waistlock. A top rope spinwheel kick drops Eddie for two and a top rope hurricanrana gets the same. Eddie blocks a tornado DDT though and grabs a quick neckbreaker, followed by the Frog Splash for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Psychosis doesn’t get the respect he deserves as he’s actually better than people remember. He may not have been as good as the elite members of the division but he’s still more than able to hold his own in the ring. Eddie continues to look sharp since his return, but this wallet thing needs to wrap up soon so he can go somewhere else.

Villano V and La Parka run in to beat down Eddie post match until Rey Mysterio comes out for the save. Naturally former issues are forgotten and they shake hands.

In the back, Stevie Ray asks Vincent and Brian Adams to watch his back against the Triad. Adams isn’t interested because Ray should be worried about NWO business. He has a point there. Squashing Prince Iaukea on weekend C shows is serious business.

Kanyon vs. Stevie Ray

The Triad does their usual stuff but throws in some Your Mama jokes about Stevie. Ray storms the ring and destroys Kanyon with a big shoulder followed by a gorilla press and big boot. He’s wrestling like a total face so far. Kanyon ducks a corner clothesline though and hammers away, only to be thrown to the floor with ease. Stevie continues to defend his mama’s honor by sending Kanyon into the barricade and then the steps as this has been almost one sided.

Back in and Kanyon grabs a quick slam, followed by a middle rope legdrop for two. A swan dive misses though and Stevie plants Kanyon with a powerslam. The rest of the Triad comes in but Stevie fights them off with relative ease. Stevie totally botches the Slapjack, nearly falling onto Kanyon instead of jumping. Not that it matters as Page comes in for the DQ. Actually scratch that as the referee says it was a pin, even though Page hit him before the three. Ok then.

Rating: D+. Stevie looked like a monster out there but at the end of the day, there’s only so much he can do in the ring. That Slapjack was just horrible, especially when it doesn’t fit Stevie’s style. He’s a power guy but it’s really not a power move. If the skinny version of HHH can hit it, how powerful can it be?

The Triad beats Stevie down until Booker makes the save. To be fair they made fun of his mama too.

Robert Wuhl of Arli$$ joins commentary. I’ve never seen the show so I’m assuming he’s in character and doesn’t really sound this annoying.

Randy Savage vs. Kidman

There’s no Madusa with Savage for some reason. Before the match, Savage says he wants his title back and that he’s running for President in 2000. Sure why not. They trade wristlocks to start with Savage looking a bit frustrated. Savage kicks him in the ribs as Arliss is already getting on my nerves, talking about how amazing Dennis Rodman is. A headscissors and dropkick send Savage to the floor where he grabs a chair and blasts the announcers’ table.

Back in and Savage hammers away, only to get backdropped out to the floor for a big crash. That’s fine with Savage as he pulls Kidman out to the floor and chokes on the table……WITH A SLIM JIM! Ok that made up for a lot of the problems in this show. Back in again and Kidman eats an elbow to the jaw as Arliss STILL won’t shut up about Rodman. Miss Madness accidentally dropkicks Savage (at least it wasn’t the Molly Go Round) to give Kidman two. Savage pops up and piledrives Kidman into next year, setting up the big elbow.

He pulls up at two though and decks the referee, only to drop another referee. Cue Rodman in semi-drag to hit Savage in the back with his hat, sending Savage to the floor and Arliss into the ring to celebrate. I’m assuming the match was thrown out but the fans eat Rodman up because this is Chicago Bulls country.

Rating: C-. This summed up a lot of WCW’s issues in a nutshell. We had a watchable match going on, but between Arliss on commentary, Rodman coming in and the girls brawling afterwards, it was almost impossible to care about the match. On top of that, this was all to set up Randy Savage vs. Dennis Rodman? That’s the best idea they can come up with for a pay per view? Decent match ruined by WCW being unable to stop messing with things.

Security (and Tony Schiavone for some reason) comes in to break it up as Arliss makes a challenge for Savage vs. Rodman at Road Wild. Madusa comes out and brawls with Miss Madness

Clip of Vampiro beating up Konnan last week.

Konnan vs. Vampiro

Konnan babbles about cheddar before the match and slaps Vampiro in the face before the bell. Vampiro quickly takes over and suplexes him down for two before stomping away on Konnan. A spinwheel kick drops Konnan as Heenan sounds bombed. The kick to the ribs and X Factor set up a clothesline to knock Vampiro outside. Back in and a horrible looking takedown called a bulldog sets up the rolling lariat, only to have the Insane Clown Posse come in to stomp on Konnan for the DQ.

Shaggy 2 Dope drops a terrible looking “legdrop” on Konnan which seems to hurt him way more than it should. Raven is out with the clowns too. Rey tries to come in but gets laid out for a moonsault from Violent J. Let’s see: NWO, Team Savage, Rednecks, Triad, No Limit Solders, First Family, Vampiro and company and you could argue Regal/Finlay/Taylor. When you’re reaching enough factions to hold a factions tournament, it’s time to cut things down a few dozen notches.

Nitro Girls with DJ Ran.

Clip of Hogan winning the title last week.

Here’s Buff Bagwell dressed as the Cat to continue this stupid feud. I’ll gloss over the small guy with him in an Asian face mask and the fact that Buff has brown makeup on. His impression is good at least and he rips on fans for being fat. Buff promises to whip all of the Jacksons and wants to click his red shoes together three times to get out of Rockford. Eh point for a funny line. This brings out Cat and Onoo for a red shoe to the head and a Moonwalk elbow. So long Buff. It was nice having you in credability land while it lasted.

Road Wild ad.

Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn vs. Curt Hennig/Barry Windham

This could be good. Hennig takes Benoit into the corner to start but has his whip reversed so Benoit can hammer away. A dropkick to the knee puts Curt down and it’s off to Saturn for a double suplex. Back to Benoit very quickly for a double clothesline before the Crippler goes back to the knee. Kendall finally trips Benoit up to give Hennig a breather, allowing Curt to nail a clothesline and tag in Barry.

Windham hits a clothesline of his own and we take a break. Back with Barry superplexing Benoit for two as Saturn makes the save. Off to Curt for his usual, only to miss a charge in the corner. The hot tag brings in Saturn but he has to fight off all four Rednecks. Hennig rakes the eyes to get out of the Death Valley Driver but gets caught in the Crossface, drawing in the Rednecks for the DQ.

Rating: C. The match was ok while it lasted but I’m getting tired of these heel groups that keep interfering to end matches. We had it for years with the NWO and now we have it with the Triad and the Rednecks. I’m glad that they’re giving so many people something to do, but come up with something fresh. Also, did a six and a half minute match really need a commercial?

Malenko tries to make the save but gets beaten down as well. Instead SHANE DOUGLAS makes his return and cleans house. He grabs the mic and says these guys are the backbone of the company and won’t be held down like he was for years. Where he comes from, if someone is trying to stop your career, you bash them in the head with a stop sign. He’s going to take the cancer out of WCW starting tonight. Hopefully this lights a fire in the old vs. new story even though it’s already dying of frostbite from being so cold. Also, when Shane Douglas is your best hope, you might want to just pack it in now.

Nitro Girls.

Clip of Hogan winning the title last week.

Road Wild ad.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Hollywood Hogan

Hogan is defending of course. Heenan doesn’t think these two have ever had a match before. Even Hudson corrects him, saying they may have but not in a WCW ring. They circle each other for a bit before Sid drops outside. Back in and Sid shoves the champion down before Hogan does something similar, though Sid doesn’t go off his feet. A test of strength goes nowhere and Sid is sent outside again.

We’re almost four minutes into the match already and a LOUD boring chant starts up. Back in and Sid kicks at the recently injured knee but Hogan blocks a weak ram into the buckle. A bunch of right hands have Sid reeling and Hogan rains down ten punches in the corner. Hogan rakes the eyes but can’t slam him with the bad knee giving out. Sid grabs a chinlock before wrapping the knee around the post, but the TNT feed goes out for ten seconds for no apparent reason.

We come back without the announcers acknowledging the break so I can’t imagine it was intentional. Back in and Sid puts on a cobra clutch of all things but lets it go and boots Hogan down, only to miss a legdrop. Hulk Up time and he slams Vicious, only to have Nash come in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Here’s the current dilemma for WCW: their options range from trying something “new” with Nash vs. Savage and having the matches be disasters or trying something old with Hogan vs. a monster, which will be more tolerable due to Hogan being able to do that match in his sleep, but still nothing we haven’t seen a thousand times. Yes those are our only two options, because we’re not getting anyone new in the main event anytime soon.

Sting comes in for the save until Rick Steiner comes in to beat Sting down. Goldberg FINALLY returns and cleans house, sending the villains to the floor for a big staredown to end the show. Of course Nash is totally cool with Sid, who was involved in attempting to murder him about a month ago.

Overall Rating: D. I know I said they needed to get back to something more basic, but could they move past 1988? We’re really sitting through Hogan vs. tall monsters and Sting vs. Flair in 1999. That’s in addition to all the lame celebrity appearances and the ridiculous amount of factions. This wouldn’t be so bad if there wasn’t an army of young talented guys that are just spinning their wheels in nothing feuds while the old guys do whatever they feel like doing because no one is going to tell them no.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/11/28/holiday-sale/

Monday Nitro #196
Date: July 12, 1999
Location: Jacksonville Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 7,945
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’re past Bash at the Beach and the woman beater is World Champion. In a match that totally ignored the whole “Sting can pin Nash” rule, Randy Savage pinned Nash with the help of Gorgeous George, who turned on Savage and Nash in the span of about ten minutes, to win the World Title. Bash at the Beach was one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen so things have to pick up here. Let’s get to it.

Video on Bret Hart’s speech last week and Goldberg returning. I wouldn’t show highlights from last night either.

Gene brings out the new champion to open the show. Savage actually comes out alone for once. He talks about how some people just can’t accept what’s right in front of them. Gene asks about Sid and the girls but Savage says he’s a self made man and had to do this himself. The fans want Goldberg as Savage issues an open challenge to anyone but Kevin Nash.

With the fans clearly making their choice clear, here’s Hollywood Hogan and you can see it coming from here. Hogan wants to take him up on the challenge but Savage says Hogan is in the same category as Nash. Somehow Hogan has already confirmed the match so Savage finally agrees.

Savage video.

Nitro Girls.

I Hate Rap video. Good grief we get it already.

Vampiro vs. Konnan

Konnan gets jumped during his catchphrases and Vampiro kicks him down with ease. Heenan actually gives us some backstory, explaining that these two hated each other down in Mexico. Granted he doesn’t say why but that’s more than you usually get. Vampiro stomps away as Tony keeps hyping up Hogan vs. Savage. Ok to be fair, that’s actually a big deal. Konnan avoids a top rope flip dive and hits the rolling lariat. A powerbomb gets two on Vampiro and a DDT gets the same. The X-Factor plants Vampiro and they head outside so Vampiro can pelt a chair at Vampiro for the DQ. Tony of course thinks it’s a double countout.

Rating: D+. I still don’t get the appeal of Vampiro but at this point pushing anyone new is a good thing. Konnan and his stupid catchphrases getting beaten up is always a good thing and the fact that his buddies weren’t with him was even better. Nothing match due to the time but it’s a sign that they’re trying someone new.

Vampiro plants him again with the Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) post match.

Stills of Flair vs. Malenko last night. Dean gets the better one later on.

Here’s Cat for some dancing and to insult Buff Bagwell. Are you kidding? Bagwell pins Flair, has to beat Piper in a boxing match because of whatever nonsense reason they couldn’t have a wrestling match, and now he gets ERNEST MILLER? Anyway, Cat makes fat jokes about Buff’s mom, drawing Bagwell out for a rather tame response. They fight, Bagwell beats him up, Miller kicks him with the red shoe and Sonny counts a pin, complete with a bell.

Nitro Girls.

Dean Malenko vs. Ric Flair

Bischoff comes out for commentary. So Ric was too injured to wrestle last night but can wrestle tonight? That’s rather convenient. Dean has Benoit and Saturn with him as Bischoff compares David Flair to Erik Watts. Ric orders Benoit and Saturn ejected and we’re ready to go with Dean erupting with right hands and clotheslines. Ric’s chop is no sold as Bischoff actually says Nash was ripped off last night. Malenko shoves Little Naitch away and whips Ric over the corner and out to the floor.

Ric backpedals just far enough for Anderson to run Dean over with a clothesline. Another volley of chops has no effect but Arn comes into the ring for a double team. Now the chops work as Ric hammers away in the corner. Robinson looks away so Flair can get two off a low blow. Dean fights back with right hands but Ric kicks him low again. A big vertical suplex gets two for Flair and an atomic drop stops Dean’s latest comeback attempt.

Malenko backslides Ric but Anderson distracts Robinson. Same thing happens off a small package so Dean clotheslines Flair into a Flop. A missile dropkick gets a delayed two and Dean clotheslines Arn for good measure. There’s a sleeper from Ric but Dean rams him into Robinson. Another referee comes in as Flair hooks the Figure Four. Malenko turns it over but Asya kicks the referee. Robinson gets up and gives it to Flair via submission, even though Dean’s music plays.

Rating: C. More angle than a match here as the disappointment in the old vs. new feu…..it’s not really a feud anymore so we’ll call it “the old guys beating up the new guys out of paranoia and short sighted thinking” continues. Flair is one of the few guys willing to put someone over but this nonsense continues. At least the action wasn’t bad.

Sting comes out to save Dean and says Flair has been holding people down for ten years, even though Space Mountain is on Viagra. Now Sting is going to take up the fight for WCW and wants a match with Flair for control of the company. Ric says Sting has to beat David to get the match he wants, which Sting is of course fine with. So to recap: everything in the last few weeks of Bagwell, Malenko, Benoit and Saturn have been used to set up Sting vs. Flair to continue a feud that has lasted twelve years. Such is life in WCW.

Stills from the junkyard match.

Steve Regal vs. Kidman

This could be really interesting if it had the chance to have a clean ending. Regal has Finlay and Taylor with him as the announcers list off a ton of injuries from the hardcore match last night. Regal cranks on the arm to start but has to roll away from a wristlock. A nice headscissors and dropkick set up a headlock on Regal as they stay on the mat for a bit. Kidman cranks on the headlock but has to kick out of some rollups.

Back up and Regal LAUNCHES Kidman over the top for a beating from his buddies. Regal suplexes him down and puts on a chinlock as we take a break. We come back with Regal putting on a surfboard before it’s off to a hard chinlock with a forearm over Kidman’s face. Kidman fights up and counters a powerbomb (which Regal uses SO often otherwise) before getting a few rollups for two each.

Some nice dropkicks have Regal in trouble but he launches Kidman into the referee by mistake. Cue the Europeans for the beatdown but Finlay accidentally hits Regal with a chair. Kidman cleans house and loads up the Shooting Star but hits the top rope by mistake. Bischoff gets in to check on him but Kidman is goldbricking and rolls Regal up for a fast pin with Bischoff counting the pin.

Rating: C+. I was digging this match until they had the screwy ending. Was this whole thing just about setting up Bischoff doing the right thing? If that’s the case….well ok I guess, even though I’m not sure why I’m supposed to be interested. The story keeps starting and stopping, even though it could be used for someone a bit more important.

Regal yells at Bischoff post match but nothing comes of it. Eric sits down and says Kidman was setting Regal up for the small package but a replay shuts him up. This was kind of odd all around.

Nitro Girls.

Sid Vicious vs. Kenny Kaos

Bischoff hypes up future appearances by the Insane Clown Posse, Dennis Rodman and KISS. You know, because Megadeth did so well. The match is exactly what you would expect: big strikes, no sold offense, a camel/cobra clutch, the chokeslam and powerbomb for the pin in less than two minutes.

Post match Sid wants Sting.

More Nitro Girls.

We see Sting and Flair’s talk from earlier.

Sting vs. David Flair

Non-title. The Stinger Splash hits in about four seconds and the Deathlock goes on but Robinson won’t even look at David. Sting doesn’t care and beats up everyone in sight with Ric’s shots having no effect whatsoever. Ric hides behind Asya in the corner but she takes a Splash of her own. No match for all intents and purposes.

Recap of Hogan and Savage.

Gene brings out Finlay for the presentation of the Hardcore Championship Trophy. Finlay puts over Northern Ireland and insults America until almost everyone from the junkyard match runs out for a big brawl and Jimmy Hart steals the trophy.

They screw up the stills package by showing the bad tag team match before showing the actually good one.

Booker T. vs. Diamond Dallas Page

After the Triad’s catchphrases, Page sends them to the back to make this a fair fight. That’s quite nice of him. Feeling out process to start with Booker nailing a dropkick before they head outside for a chase scene. Back in and Booker nails the flying forearm and a superkick to take over again. The big side kick misses though and Booker crotches himself on the ropes, allowing Page to grab a suplex as we take a break.

Back with Page hitting a quick clothesline followed by a sleeper, only to have Booker fight out with his usual stuff. The Diamond Cutter is blocked but the referee gets bumped, allowing the Triad to come back out for a beatdown. A Flatliner from Kanyon gets two so he tries powder, only to have it knocked back into his own face. Not that it matters as Bigelow comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C. Another match that was just ok and should have been better given who was in there. Booker REALLY needs something to do right now as he’s just been hanging around for months. That being said, I’d much rather have him here than in Bagwell’s spot where he has to get beaten up by James Brown meets Dorothy Gale.

Post match the Triad tapes Booker into the corner for a beating. We cut to the back to see the NWO making fun of Booker, causing Stevie Ray to grab a chair and run out for the save. As annoying as a Harlem Heat reunion would be, it’s better than nothing.

WCW World Title: Hollywood Hogan vs. Randy Savage

Savage is defending and Hogan comes out to the Wolfpack music. Savage rakes the eyes to start and man alive do these guys look old. Some lefts and rights in the corner have Hogan in trouble but he won’t be rammed into the buckle. The champ is sent to the floor so the girls come in, only to have Hogan ram Madusa and Miss Madness’ heads together. The girls get into it on the floor but get dragged away by security.

We keep going after a good bit of stalling with Hogan hammering away in the corner. There are the ten punches in the corner but Hogan ducks his head, allowing Savage to kick him in the face. Hogan of course pops up and takes it to the floor before this breaks down into a wrestling match. Savage goes into the barricade and steps before Hogan blasts him a few times with a chair.

Now it’s over to the announcers’ table as the brawling continues. Savage hides behind George and nails Hogan in the face to take over. They head back inside for a whipping and choke with the weightlifting belt. More slow punching and whipping follows before Savage slams him down to set up the elbow. Hogan isn’t interested in no selling and just rolls away before Hulking Up. Cue Sid to jump Hogan but that’s still not a DQ. George hands Savage a chain but Sting runs in to break up a powerbomb attempt. The chain knocks Hogan out but Nash breaks up the cover and Jackknifes Savage to give Hogan the title.

Rating: D. The match actually wasn’t the worst in the world but it was a lot of standing around waiting on something interesting to happen. These two know each other so well that they’re going to have something above a disaster, but that’s really not saying much. At the end of the day, Hogan may be the same thing we’ve seen a million times, but he’s more interesting than Nash or Savage.

Post match Hogan celebrates but Nash grabs the mic. He welcomes Hogan back and asks him for a title shot, presumably at Road Wild, since he’s handed Hogan the title twice now. Hogan says it’s on to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This could have been much worse and is such a huge upgrade over last night. It’s still certainly not a good show or anything like that, but it’s enough to keep me from wanting to jump off a building like I did at Bash at the Beach. Hogan vs. Nash may not be the most interesting match, but it’s something new that doesn’t involve Randy Savage again.

However, there’s another major problem to deal with in WCW: following up on new developments. Look at stuff like Bagwell again. He’s feuding with the top heels and even pins one of them, then is losing to the curtain jerking nitwith Ernest Miller? Seriously? Or Goldberg, who returned last week and now is nowhere to be seen? Same goes with people like Torrie, who sided with Nash willingly, then ran back to David like nothing ever happened. And where did Luger go after returning for like a day?

So many stories start and are just dropped with no reasoning given, making it hard to get into anything new. This company needs a big chart or something with a reminder of who has something going on at the moment. They’re just starting and stopping stuff on a whim and it’s making it harder and harder to keep track of what’s going on around here. Granted I barely care after all the nonsense they’ve put me through but it’s still not easy.

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