Uncensored 2000
Date: March 19, 2000
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Mike Tenay
I might as well take another look at some of the shows on the WCW YouTube channel so we’ll go with something from the terrible days of the promotion. Well terrible is kind of a stretch, as I’ve always had a soft spot for this year. This is the show that tends to be more hardcore and violent, and in this case it’s YAPPAPI time. Let’s get to it.
The opening video looks at Lex Luger hurting Sting and various other people, so tonight Sting is back for revenge. The other big matches: Hogan vs. Flair and Sid vs. Jeff Jarrett. That’s…really not a great lineup.
Various people arrive, including someone we don’t see in a limo. That’s never good. Like, at all.
Schiavone: “We’re getting ready to break some heads!”
Cruiserweight Title: Psychosis vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea
Prince, with Paisley (better known as Sharmell) is defending and we’re in the weird unmasked Psychosis (with Juventud Guerrera) era. Hold on though as the bell rings and some music plays, with Chris Candido coming out to join commentary as a surprise. Psychosis starts fast by knocking Prince outside for a big dive (Candido: “I can do that.”) but Prince is right back inside to hammer away. A running shoulder drops Guerrera for two and Prince sends him outside as Candido wonders where his own (unnamed) valet is.
Back in and Prince pulls out the hair a bit before dropping a knee for some near falls. A super hurricanrana drops Prince and they….I’m not sure what it was supposed to be but Psychosis snaps off a gordbuster. Paisley offers a distraction so Juventud kisses her, earning a whipping with his own shirt. For some reason Paisley tries to take his belt off as Psychosis hits a guillotine legdrop. Psychosis lets up on the pin for no apparent reason, allowing Prince to hit a middle rope DDT and retain at 7:21.
Rating: C-. Like most Prince matches, this wasn’t bad, but it was really, really dull. There was nothing about the Prince that made you want to see him and having him do this gimmick didn’t make things any better. Psychosis was little more than a random challenger and he added almost nothing. Finally you have Candido, who felt like a total afterthought and did pretty much nothing here, which sums up a lot of his time in WCW.
Bam Bam Bigelow isn’t sure what the Wall is doing but he’s going to stop him tonight.
XS vs. Norman Smiley/The Demon
XS is Lenny Lane/Lodi, now a couple of stereotypical party guys, but Miss Hancock comes out for commentary. She’s not happy with her for turning her down so she’s managing Smiley and Demon instead. Smiley comes out of Demon’s casket, but gets scared by the pyro. It’s a…well not really a brawl to start but Demon and Lodi fight to the floor and Norman (in Demon paint) gives Lane the Big Wiggle.
The spinning slam is broken up so Norman brings in the Demon, who gets caught in the wrong corner. A double clothesline gets Demon out of trouble and it’s back to Norman, who is quickly caught with a Skull Crushing Finale. The Demon makes the save and Norman’s Conquest gives Norman the win at 3:42.
Rating: D-. Why was this on pay per view? XS was as low level of a team as you can get and yet they were at least a regular team. Smiley and the Demon might have teamed together occasionally but it was there for the gag of Smiley as a demon and nothing more. It wasn’t funny and thankfully it was short, with Hancock sounding more like a heel than anything else here.
Post match XS blames Hancock for the loss and seem to try kidnapping her, with Demon and Norman making the save so Hancock can dance.
Billy Kidman, with Torrie Wilson, apologizes to Booker (not T., which we’ll get to later) before their tag match. Booker says if Kidman is going to be there, he needs to be there.
David Flair and Crowbar, both in neck braces, want Daphne to stay in the back. She agrees and then smiles once they leave.
We recap the Wall’s recent path of rage, involving him beating up people like Bam Bam Bigelow, David Flair and Crowbar, with Bigelow (Wall’s mentor) standing up against him. I’ve heard far worse stories.
The Wall vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
They slug it out to start and Bigelow hits a splash in the corner, followed by a clothesline to cut Wall off. A top rope headbutt connects for two but Wall is right back with a big boot. They fight out into the production area, with Wall chokeslamming him through a table for some sparks and a DQ at 3:20.
Rating: D. What was that? Well other than another TV style match which happened to be on the pay per view that is. The idea of Bigelow trying to stop the monster is fine, but could you at least let them have a decent fight first? The match didn’t even make it four minutes and Wall never felt in any real danger. Why was this here?
Immediately after the match, Crowbar and David Flair jump the Wall, with Crowbar getting him up onto the scaffolding. Wall chokeslams him through the stage in a pretty awesome crash. Ah, that’s why the match was there. Wall gets to do his signature look, which is NO WAY like Bubba Ray Dudley’s look after he powerbombed people through tables. We pause for Crowbar to be put in an ambulance as wrestlers watch.
Brian Knobbs dedicates his Hardcore Title match to Bigelow and Crowbar. Uh, thanks?
Hardcore Title: Brian Knobbs vs. 3 Count
3 Count is defending in a gauntlet match. In one of the most bizarre choices of all time (and this is WCW), Knobbs’ theme music at this point is….a rock version of My Sharona. Naturally since this is WCW, they don’t seem to get the definition of GAUNTLET match, as 3 Count goes after Knobbs at the same time. They jump Knobbs together to start but he easily fights back with trashcan shots.
The Pit Stop puts Moore and Karagias down but Helms, wearing a mask to protect a broken nose, is immune. I’m not sure that makes sense but Knobbs is sent into a ladder, setting up some splashes off of said ladder. Knobbs is back with a fire extinguisher and a chair to Helms for the first pin (Knobbs’ music plays because even WCW doesn’t get it).
The table is pulled out and Karagias is powerbombed through it for the second fall. Another table is set up but Helms is back in with a dropkick to Knobbs…whose foot it is in the ropes so it doesn’t count. In a hardcore match. Which is called a gauntlet but isn’t. Knobbs throws a ladder over the top onto Karagias and drives a trashcan onto Moore for the final pin and the title at 6:55.
Rating: D-. Do they not know what a GAUNTLET match is? If you want this to be an elimination match then fine, just call it that instead. But no, the idea is to just call it a gauntlet match when that has nothing to do with anything. You might as well say Knobbs is challenging in an Icepick Donkey match, because it has as much to do with a gauntlet as this mess did. It wasn’t even like Knobbs was in any danger here, even with 3 Count’s cool dives off the ladder. Oh and one more thing: BRIAN KNOBBS IS WINNING A TITLE ON PAY PER VIEW IN 2000. Stop that!
Harlem Heat 2000 is ready to…..I have no idea, as it’s Big T (Ahmed Johnson) yelling. Now, you might remember earlier that I said his name was just “Booker”. That’s because the story is Booker has lost the rights to the Harlem Heat material, which somehow included the middle initial T. I’m not kidding.
Vampiro talks about doing bad things and how people like Fit Finlay drive him to do them.
Booker/Billy Kidman vs. Harlem Heat 2000
Torrie Wilson, J. Biggs (Clarence Mason) and Cash (a big bodyguard) are here too. Ray stomps on Booker to start as Biggs talks about how he doesn’t care what happened to Crowbar. Kidman comes in for a dropkick so it’s off to Big T., who powers Kidman down. Booker fights up but the numbers game gets to him. Kidman is taken outside and held so Big T. can dive over the barricade to take him down.
That’s fine in theory except Big T. barely clears the barricade and only grazes Kidman, who doesn’t even leave his feet while Big T. faceplants. And that’s his post WWF run in a single moment. Back in and Big T. spinebusters Kidman for two but Kidman bulldogs Ray out of the corner. The Book End plants Ray with Big E. making the save, followed by a double spinebuster. Kidman dives in for the save and Ray is sent outside. That leaves Booker to kick Big T. into a rollup for the pin at 6:59.
Rating: D. And that might be the second best match of the night. That dive summed up everything about Big T.’s time here, as it was just embarrassing to see what used to be one of the coolest looking stars in years reduced to an embarrassment because he can’t do it anymore. Just dreadful here, with Booker and Kidman looking fine as a team but having absolutely nothing to work with on the other side.
We look at the Wall attacking Crowbar again.
Recap of Vampiro vs. Finlay. Vampiro is the young punk and Finlay is here to teach him some respect.
Vampiro vs. Fit Finlay
Falls Count Anywhere. Finlay hammers him down to start and hits a clothesline for a bonus. Vampiro is back up and hits a top rope spinwheel kick to drop Finlay, who shrugs it off again. Instead Finlay grabs a chair, which the referee takes away, allowing Vampiro to kick Finlay down again. They go outside and Finlay is sent into the announcers’ table but Vampiro gets too cocky and is sent over the barricade.
The fight heads out into the concourse and into the men’s room (where Finlay had promised to take him). Finlay slams a stall door onto his head but Vampiro is back with a trashcan to the ribs. Vampiro climbs onto the top of a stall but gets trashcanned out of the air. Now it’s time to go back into the concourse and even outside, which doesn’t last long. Finlay backdrops him onto the concrete but gets sent into concrete column. The Nail In The Coffin (Michinoku Driver) finishes for Vampiro at 8:39.
Rating: C-. I guess the idea here was to have Vampiro become a future star but…he just wasn’t very good. The spinwheel kick looked good but the rest was just a bunch of standard hardcore stuff. That doesn’t really make me want to see Vampiro do anything and he doesn’t exactly stand out. Finlay was his usual good self and Vampiro isn’t totally awful by any means, but he isn’t this next big thing that WCW seemed to think he was going to be.
Vampiro goes back into the arena to celebrate with the crowd.
Jeff Jarrett gives the Harris Twins a pep talk but they seem confident.
Disco Inferno and the Mamalukes are ready to retain the Tag Team Titles.
Tag Team Titles: Harris Twins vs. Mamalukes
The Twins, still part of the NWO, are challenging in a No DQ match. Vito and Ron start things off with Vito taking over to start, as Disco Inferno is already annoying the rest of commentary. Don comes in and hammers away but gets pounded down. A low blow drops Vito, who is right back up to knock Ron down. Johnny comes in for a double double ax handle to the chest, followed by something like the Harris’ H Bomb to Ron.
Don is back up to send Johnny outside and into the barricade, followed by a side slam back inside. The slow beating allows Johnny to fight back up with a clothesline, allowing the needed tag off to Vito. House is cleaned and a top rope elbow gets two, followed by a Hart Attack for two. Vito is sent outside so a double flapjack can connect for two more. A double spinebuster gets two more with Vito making the save. Inferno comes in and hits Ron in the face with the belt for two, leaving Ron to hit Johnny with the belt. The H Bomb gives Don the pin and the titles at 8:47.
Rating: D. The fans’ silence during this match sums up the issue: the Harris Twins are a perfect example of a team who is fine on paper but falls apart as soon as you get away from said paper. They’re just so, so, so boring and there’s no way around it. At the same time you have the Mamalukes and Disco Inferno, which a story that has gone on for so long that it stopped making sense months ago without ever being interesting in the first place. Boring match and the Twins winning the titles is about the worst result imaginable.
Fit Finlay says he beat respect into Vampiro but the better man won tonight. Now keep the fire burning from here on out.
Team Package (Lex Luger/Ric Flair/Elizabeth in a terrible name) is ready for Sting and Hulk Hogan tonight.
We recap Dustin Rhodes vs. Terry Funk, with Rhodes attacking Funk to continue the Funk vs. Dusty Rhodes feud. This resulted in Funk pulling out a chicken and saying it was Dusty’s son. Funk then knocked Rhodes out with the chicken, because that was a thing. Therefore, it’s bullrope match time.
Rhodes promises to make Funk bleed and retire him.
Dustin Rhodes vs. Terry Funk
Texas Bullrope match and yes Funk brings a chicken with him. Funk does a Foghorn Leghorn impression and says he thinks he sees a chicken in the ring. The only difference between Dusty and Dustin is Dusty is a lot fatter, but Funk has Dustin’s younger brother here. Cue a man in a chicken suit, causing Dustin to run up the aisle, where Funk hits him in the head with the chicken.
The bell rings and Funk beats him into the ring, where Funk whips him with the rope. Some left hands in the corner have Rhodes in more trouble and the cowbell to the head gets two. A low blow gives Rhodes a breather and he knocks Funk into the ropes to keep up the beating. Rhodes pounds him down on the floor and they finally bother attaching the rope about four minutes into the match. A belly to back toss gives Rhodes two and the bulldog onto the cowbell gets the same.
Cue the Chicken to go after Rhodes, who beats the Chicken up, complete with clucking sound effects. Funk is back up with a low blow and of course he wants a microphone. He’s changing the rules and now it’s an I Quit match (the previous rules said you could only win by pinfall). The referee doesn’t like that so Funk hits him with the cowbell and demands that Rhodes quit. Rhodes finally quits, which doesn’t count, so he hits Funk in the head with the cowbell again. A piledriver onto the cowbell gives Rhodes the pin (which counts) at 9:01.
Rating: D+. I have no idea what to make of this, as it wasn’t a bullrope match for a good while, but then it was kind of an I Quit match and then Rhodes won by pinfall, as is usually the case. Oh and something about a chicken. Throw in the fact that we’re doing Rhodes vs. Funk (of any generation) in 2000 and acting like fans care is bizarre enough. Even in Florida.
Sid expects Jeff Jarrett to do something stupid and he’s ready to move on to bigger and better things. Was that insulting to Jarrett? I’m not sure.
We recap Sting vs. Lex Luger, which involves Luger breaking A LOT of arms (as in probably six or seven people, many of whom were wrestling in casts on this show). Now it’s time for Sting to get revenge.
Sting vs. Total Package
This is a lumberjack match, with the wrestlers Luger has injured standing around the ring. Oh yeah and it’s THE TOTAL PACKAGE now instead of Lex Luger, because that was the big change he needed. Before Sting comes out, Luger apologizes to the lumberjacks for breaking their arms. He has a backup plan though and brings out his own lumberjacks, who have their own unnecessary casts.
Luger jumps Sting to start and the fight is on, with Sting knocking him outside. Back in and Sting gets to stomp away and the jumping elbow gets two. Luger is sent outside and the lumberjacks (including Doug Dellinger) get to stomp away. Back in again and Sting is sent outside for a change, with Luger’s lumberjacks hammering on him. Cue Tank Abbott (no cast) to knock Dellinger out and leave, because Abbott is a weird guy.
All of the lumberjacks brawl to the back, leaving Luger to chinlock Sting, as Ric Flair and Elizabeth come out. Flair and Vampiro (who was apparently still there) brawl at ringside until Flair gets inside to chop Sting. This goes as it has gone for over ten years now but Luger ax handles Sting down.
Elizabeth hits Sting in the back with the baseball bat so here is Jimmy Hart, with a Hulk Hogan weightlifting belt, to chase her off. Luger loads up the Rack but Vampiro hits him with the bat (the referee looks at it happen and glares at Vampiro, allowing Sting to hit the “Stinger” Death Drop (as Schiavone can’t even get that right) for the pin at 7:01.
Rating: D-. I’m sure he was on a huge contract and all that, but who in the world thought it was a good idea to put Lex Luger in this prominent of a role in 2000? The guy hadn’t been interesting in a very long time at this point and while the arm breaking thing was something different, it was still only going to get him so far in yet another match with Sting. The fact that this was the third decade in which they had been working together in some fashion isn’t a great sign, and the results showed badly.
Tank Abbott says he took out Doug Dellinger because he can, and accuses Dellinger of taking his money.
We recap Jeff Jarrett vs. Sid for the World Title. Jarrett keeps getting title shots and has a history of cracking Sid with a guitar. End of build.
The limo door is opened but we don’t see who is in it.
The format has been changed, as this match was scheduled to go on last. Sid’s response? “Oh let’s go.” And he heads to the ring.
WCW World Title: Sid vs. Jeff Jarrett
Sid is defending and Jarrett’s US Title isn’t on the line. Before Sid shows up, Jarrett goes on a rant about how he’s tired of getting ripped off so he has something up his sleeve. He also promises that the NWO girls will show some skin if he wins the title. Sid drops him with a clothesline to start and then pounds him into the corner for the right hands. The chokeslam is broken up with a rake to the eyes so Sid takes him outside for a slam onto the announcers’ table. The beating goes into the crowd before Sid chokes against the barricade.
Cue the Harris Brothers to jump Sid, even going inside to stay on him, as Jarrett argues with the referee in the aisle. Back in and Jarrett pounds him down, followed by the sleeper. That’s broken up so the Harris Twins offer a distraction, only for Sid to send Jarrett into the belt (as held by Don) for two. The chokeslam is broken up with a low blow and the referee gets decked (because that matters in this match). The guitar to the head knocks Sid silly and Jarrett calls in….crooked referee Slick Johnson. Hulk Hogan follows him out and cleans house, including dropping the leg on Jarrett so Sid can get the pin to retain.
Rating: D. So not only did they have a terribly dull match, but somehow, HULK HOGAN is needed to beat Jeff Jarrett. Hogan drops the leg and puts Sid on top for the pin. This is getting into 1995/6 territory of Hogan having to be there to save everyone and that’s one of the last things you want to see happen. Sid was even fine as champion, but it doesn’t matter when you’re having Hogan wedged into the top spot over him.
Post match here is Scott Steiner (apparently the person in the limousine) with a guitar to Hogan’s back. The villains wreck Hogan but Sid is up for the save. Cue Ric Flair and it’s time for the strap match.
Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan
Strap match, four corners variety. Flair whips and stomps away to start as Jimmy Hart (with his eyes bugging out) comes to the ring to play cheerleader. It seems to work as Hogan fights up and hammers away but Flair manages a cheap shot back inside. Some choking with the strap has Hogan in more trouble but he’s back up to whip away with the weightlifting belt.
The beating continues on the floor before Hogan rains down the right hands in the corner. A bite to the head busts Flair open and Hogan keeps hammering at the cut. Flair manages to go up and gets slammed down, with Hogan sending him outside for a clothesline. Hart gets in some whips as the squashing continues. Cue Lex Luger to chair Hogan down and leave, allowing Flair to whip Hogan back to ringside. A low blow drops Hogan again and Flair unhooks himself for the sake of chasing Hart.
They hook up again with Hart getting in as well, only to get taken down. Flair goes after the knee and drags Hogan to two corners and then a third before using a foreign object to knock Hogan silly. That’s enough to break the chain so the corners are broken…and Flair covers Hogan for two. That triggers the Hulk Up and Hogan knocks him silly to get three buckles but Luger is back. Hogan boots him down and drops a leg to pin Flair at 14:26 (the referee is fine with this).
Rating: D-. There’s a clip from Family Feud where the question is asked “Do you understand the concept of this game?”. That’s what I’d want to ask here, as it seems like they just kind of changed the rules halfway through. That’s dumb enough on its own, but they tried to do the same thing in the other match involving two people being tied together (because they did that same gimmick twice in about an hour). Hogan gets to slaughter Flair again though, because that’s what he did most of the time, and if that involves changing the rules as they go, so be it. Horrible main event, which shouldn’t be a surprise whatsoever.
Hogan touches the fourth buckle to really rub it in. Posing ends the show. Wait: why was it a big deal that they changed the order of the last two matches? That was treated as some kind of a big plot point and it didn’t seem to matter at all.
Overall Rating: R. For Reset, which is what this company did three weeks later. On April 10, WCW decided to tap out and completely relaunch everything, because the place that the shows were at, spearheaded by this one, was so bad that they didn’t think there was a way out. Think about that for a second. This show was so bad and put the company in such a place that WCW just blew up its continuity and started over. It might not seem possible to get that low, but WCW decided that was the best course of action.
And really, can you blame them? The matches ranged from passable at best to WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE, with rules literally being changed in the middle of matches and the same pairings we’ve seen for years now being trotted out again and again. The end result of the main event was Hogan pinning Flair to win a match where you have to touch all four corners. This was meant to be celebrated due to reasons beyond my comprehension.
That’s on top of the Harris Twins as the Tag Team Champions, XS, Psychosis and David Flair getting pay per view time, plus a group named Team Package and a fight over the letter T. This show was an all time disaster and I can’t blame them for just giving up. Hogan is doing some of his worst stuff here and unfortunately he’s not alone. I have no idea what good came out of this show, and apparently neither did WCW.
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