In Your House #9: International Incident
Date: July 21, 1996
Location: General Motors Place, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Attendance: 14,804
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

The People’s Posse originally had the Ultimate Warrior teaming up with Johnson and Michaels, but Warrior bailed on the company again for asking for too much time off. Warrior claimed he was leaving due to not getting money he was owed and Vince McMahon claiming that he didn’t buy Warrior’s excuse of grieving over his father’s death. Either way, we get Sid tonight which might actually be the better option. Let’s get to it.

Earlier tonight on the Free For All, Cornette swung the tennis racket at Jose Lothario but got punched in the face for his efforts. Vader and Shawn came in to prevent any further violence. The main catch for the

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas

The Gunns are champions and have Sunny with them but this is non-title. The Bodydonnas have turned face with a new manager named Cloudy (a man in woman’s clothing), but no one cares about them at all either way. Sunny, who looks great as a cowgirl, won’t let Vince hold the tag titles. The Gunns are sent to the floor to start before we get down to Bart vs. Zip. They trade chops with neither guy seeming all that interested in selling for the other. Zip takes him down with an armdrag into an armbar before bringing in Skip to crank on it as well.

Bart gets tired of having his arm pulled apart so he throws Skip down and brings in Billy to fire off some right hands. A nice headscissors puts Billy down and Skip spins out of a few hiptosses, only to be punched down for his efforts. Skip grabs another armbar as the match slows down all over again. Out of nowhere Sunny collapses but as Skip goes to check on her she slaps him in the face, allowing the Gunns to clothesline him down.

Back in and the Gunns take over with Bart whipping Skip HARD into the corner to take him down. Skip comes back with a quick clothesline and goes up top, only to dive into a sweet powerslam for two. With Skip draped throat first over the top and Bart holding his legs up, Billy tries to jump over his partner’s back to land on Skip’s back but can’t get up and over Bart. If you can’t do the spot, don’t try it.

Skip and Bart mistime something out of the corner and awkwardly stop in the middle of the ring. Bart goes up top but jumps into an atomic drop, allowing for the hot tag off to Zip. Billy trips Zip down but can’t get in place for the Sidewinder (side slam/guillotine legdrop combo), allowing Skip to hit a missile dropkick on Bart to give Zip the pin.

Rating: D. This was a horrible choice for an opening match with WAY too much time and the botches dragging the match down. On top of that, why in the world would you make this a non-title match? To set up a future rematch? Why in the world wouldn’t you do this on Raw and then have the title match here? Very dull match here.

Camp Cornette rants about the fight with Cornette and Lothario while guaranteeing a win later.

Mankind vs. Henry Godwinn

Mankind is one of the most bizarre characters in wrestling history. He debuted the night after Wrestlemania and immediately targeted the Undertaker, easily beating him down like no one else ever had before. Mankind lives in a boiler room, often sits on the mat and rocks back and forth and is known to pull out his hair. He also wears a leather mask that covers half of his face and is missing part of an ear. Henry is substituting for Jake Roberts who didn’t show up for the show.

Mankind jumps Godwinn from behind to start but Henry is more than comfortable in a slugout. He punches Mankind in the face a few times and powerslams him down for two. Mankind pounds him down with shots to the back as Lawler makes jokes about Roberts’ substance abuse issues. Henry sweeps Mankind’s legs out and hits some HARD shots to the face, only to have Mankind choke him for a breather.

A running knee to Henry’s face has him in even more trouble so Mankind goes to the floor and pulls back the mats. Henry gets taken down by a swinging neckbreaker onto the concrete. Back in and Mankind misses a charge into the corner but he easily sends Henry out to the floor. Godwinn comes right back by slamming Mankind from the apron to the concrete but the Slop Drop is countered with into Mankind’s Mandible Claw for the win.

Rating: D+. Nothing great here but it was a nice brawl while it lasted. Henry was stuck in a stupid gimmick but he could throw some great right hands and brawl with the best of them. There’s nothing wrong with having a guy like that around as you’re going to get an entertaining match more often than not. Still though, nothing great here.

Mankind sprints up the aisle but stops at the entrance because he’s a bit strange.

Marc Mero vs. Steve Austin

This is a rematch from the King of the Ring tournament. Austin jumps him right after the bell but Mero comes back with a quick armbar. That gets him nowhere so Steve grabs a headlock and takes him down to the mat. Back up and they slug it out with Mero, a former New York Golden Gloves Champion, easily taking control. Austin is knocked to the floor and goes after Sable, only to be jumped from behind.

Back inside and Steve gets rolled up for two but manages to send Mero out to the floor to take over. A catapult sends Mero face first into the post and another shot knocks him off the apron and into the barricade. Back in and a middle rope elbow gets two for Austin and we hit a reverse chinlock. Austin slaps Mero in the back of the head but misses a charge and lands on the middle rope to give Marc a breather.

Steve goes up but gets crotched down, allowing Mero to pull him down and hook a hurricanrana to send both guys to the floor. A moonsault press off the apron takes Austin down again and a slingshot moonsault gets two back inside. Mero pounds away with right hands in the corner but Austin shoves him to the side, crotching Mero on the top rope. Marc blocks Austin’s Stunner finisher and gets two off a slingshot legdrop. For some reason Marlena comes out to watch the ending. Not that it matters though Austin comes back with a quick chop block and the Stunner connects for the pin.

Rating: C. Good stuff here for the most part but the match felt off for some reason. It’s very interesting to see Austin evolve the Stunner over the years as there’s no kick to the ribs yet and he just snaps it off. Mero wasn’t bad in the ring at all but he never quite fit in the WWF.

Former WWF Champion Bob Backlund is running for President of the United States and looks for registered voters in the crowd.

Highlight video on the Undertaker’s feuds with Mankind and Goldust, which is set up like a music video for some reason.

Goldust vs. Undertaker

Goldust, who has since lost the Intercontinental Title to Ahmed Johnson, bails to the floor to start and does so again after Undertaker moves towards him. He gets in again and hides behind the referee for a few moments before doing his trademark deep breath. It only earns him an uppercut to the jaw, sending Goldust right back to the floor for more stalling. Lawler makes movie references as Goldust teases walking out and VERY slowly gets back in the ring.

Undertaker finally goes out after him and chokeslams Goldust down onto the steps in an awkward looking sequence. Undertaker picks up the steps but won’t crush Marlena along with Goldust. Apparently he’s a zombie with a heart. Back in and Goldust gets clotheslined down before a legdrop gets two for Undertaker. This has been one sided so far. Goldust finally comes back with some knees in the corner to take over but Undertaker grabs him by the throat and throws him into the corner to hand out a beating.

The fans chant Rest in Peace (Undertaker catchphrase) as he connects with Old School and some uppercuts. Goldust clotheslines Undertaker over the top rope but Undertaker lands on his feet and keeps firing off uppercuts. Something resembling a Stunner across the top rope snaps Goldust’s neck back but he uses the distraction to pull the turnbuckle pad away. Undertaker is sent back first into the exposed steel to finally give Goldust control.

They head outside again so Goldust can drop the steps on Undertaker’s back to further his advantage. Back in and Goldust puts on a reverse chinlock to keep the pace of the match very slow. The fans chant for Undertaker so Goldust breaks the hold like any idiot heel would do. Undertaker comes back with a big boot to the face and a small package of all things for two. The flying clothesline takes Goldust down and there’s the Tombstone, drawing Mankind up through a hole in the ring for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Way too long here and horribly boring due to all of the stalling. Goldust and Undertaker had some of the least interesting matches I can ever remember for two guys with as much talent as they have. It was clearly just a backdrop for Undertaker vs. Mankind, which isn’t something you spend three months on.

Mankind pulls Undertaker through the hole with the Mandible Claw before crawling back out on his own. The lights flicker and Undertaker’s music plays but he comes out of another hole to sneak up on Mankind. They brawl to the back to one of the only good reactions of the night.

The announcers talk about the main event while the ring is repaired.

We go to the back to see the brawl between Undertaker and Mankind continue.

Goldust and Marlena are in the boiler room where Mankind and Undertaker were fighting earlier. Goldust quotes Kramer vs. Kramer when Mankind pops up and calls Goldust mommy. Mankind rams his head into a cabinet while screaming about what mommy wants, mommy gets.

The announcers ignore what we just saw and talk about the main event a bit more.

We recap the main event six man tag which started at King of the Ring. Shawn pinned British Bulldog in the rematch but Vader and Owen Hart came in for a post match attack. Ultimate Warrior and Ahmed Johnson came in for the save, setting up the six man. Ultimate Warrior was suspended a few weeks after for reasons already mentioned, so Shawn and Ahmed brought in Sid to take his place. It’s not clear if Sid can be trusted though.

The People’s Posse says they can trust Sid and they’ll win tonight.

People’s Posse vs. Camp Cornette

If Camp Cornette loses, Cornette has to pay back all of the fans, which would cost him millions. Also Owen has a broken arm coming in. Vader and Ahmed start things off but Vader wants the world champion instead. Shawn is happy to oblige and is easily shoved away by the monster. Vader lifts Shawn into the air in a choke but Shawn punches his way to freedom. Shawn speeds things up and actually hits a running hurricanrana to take Vader down. A cross body sends Vader to the floor and Michaels follows with a nice plancha to take the monster down.

Shawn tries another hurricanrana but gets hit a bit low to give Vader control. Vader pounds away in the corner and Shawn is in quick trouble. Michaels manages to escapes a belly to back suplex and makes the hot tag off to Sid for a battle of the giants. Sid cleans house and sends all of Camp Cornette out to the floor, drawing a HUGE reaction from the crowd. Owen tries to sneak in from behind but is easily taken down by another clothesline. Off to Johnson who actually rolls German suplexes on Owen.

Johnson misses an elbow drop and it’s off to the Bulldog to pound away for a bit until he gets caught in a spinebuster. Ahmed hits his Pearl River Plunge tiger bomb but it’s Owen making the save. Off to Vader for some power but Ahmed pounds him down in the corner to keep the fans into things the entire way through. Vader easily reverses a whip into the corner and hits a hard splash followed by even more fists to the head and body. Another splash attempt is caught in a slam which looked WAY easier than it should have for Ahmed.

Owen comes in and takes Johnson down with a spinwheel kick but Johnson pops up at two. Johnson keeps coming back with a gorilla press slam and it’s back to Sid for a big boot to the face before firing off some very fast right hands in the corner. Sid whips Owen into the Cornette corner and it’s time for the Bulldog vs. Sid power match. Smith actually lifts him up in the delayed vertical suplex and a Vader elbow is good for two. Vader runs Sid over again and brings Smith back in for some headbutts.

Sid is able to get in a shot to the face and makes the tag off to Shawn, but Bulldog quickly avoids a charge to send Shawn shoulder first into the post. Shawn sends Bulldog into Vader to knock the big man off the apron and get a pair of two counts on Smith. Back to Owen to trade some VERY fast rollups with Shawn for two each before Shawn gets two more off a cross body. A victory roll gets the same for Michaels and they head to the mat before bridging into Ric Flair’s trademark pinfall reversal sequence. Outstanding sequence there.

Back to Bulldog for a legdrop but Michaels avoids an elbow drop to get a breather. Owen finally uses the cast on the bad arm to put Shawn down and it’s back to Vader to pound away on the world champion. Shawn is whipped across the ring and goes over the corner and out to the floor in a big crash. After Owen and Bulldog get in some cheap shots on the floor it’s back in for a half standing chinlock/half bearhug on Shawn with Vader’s arms wrapped around his neck and under his arms. Not a bad looking hold actually.

The hold stays on for awhile as a fan tries to interfere and is easily run off by Bulldog and the referee. After several minutes of the hold, Vader throws Shawn down and splashes him but Ahmed comes in to break up a cover. Bulldog comes in and puts on an over the shoulder backbreaker followed by a fallaway slam for two. Smith misses a charge into the corner but it’s Hart breaking up the hot tag attempt yet again.

Shawn punches Owen down but can’t follow up, allowing for another tag back to Davey, whose cover is quickly broken up by a Sid legdrop. Vader gets the tag and Shawn crawls over to make one as well, but the referee doesn’t see Ahmed get the tag. Johnson protests but Shawn gets triple teamed, giving Bulldog another two count. Owen tries a missile dropkick but hits Bulldog by mistake, allowing Shawn to FINALLY make the tag off to Sid.

The big man cleans house and chokeslams every member of Camp Cornette before launching Shawn off the top onto Vader for two. Everything breaks down and Cornette throws in the tennis racket but Shawn intercepts it to clock Vader in the head. Somehow that’s only good for two so Shawn tunes up the band, only to have Cornette trip him up. Vader runs Michaels over and hits the Vader Bomb for the pin to suck the life out of the crowd.

Rating: A-. REALLY good match here with everyone working hard and having a match that had the fans going nuts. Sid’s popularity is nearly astounding as the guy was just crazy over on about three moves. The ending was obvious, but on rare occasions that’s not a bad thing with this being a good example of that.

Post match Sid and Ahmed clean house with powerbombs to Owen and Bulldog but Vader is pulled to safety. Shawn dives over the top and takes out Vader, sending Camp Cornette running off. A lot of posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. The only thing that is holding up this show is the main event. Let’s look at this entire card: what in the world would you want to pay for on this show? There are five matches, zero titles on the line, and the one match that might draw some interest had a telegraphed ending. This was a terribly uninteresting show which set a record for the lowest buyrate in company history as not many people cared about seeing this show. It also doesn’t help that two weeks prior to this, Hulk Hogan turned heel in WCW, lighting the fire that would burn the WWF as close to a crisp as you can be for the next year and a half.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 29, 1995
Location: Broome County Arena, Binghamton, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re wrap up the month here as the company is just getting worse and worse as the weeks go by. The Undertaker is back tonight though so maybe we can get a little relief. Unfortunately he’s facing Jeff Jarrett, who could somehow bring him right back down to reality. This tournament is showing how weak the heel side of this roster really is. Let’s get to it.

Jeff Jarrett is in the ring to say he’s ready to face Undertaker but he panics when the lights go out. Jeff: “GET THE FLASHLIGHT! GET THE FLASHLIGHT!” Funny line, but what’s even funnier is Vince and Jerry making little comments about Jeff’s promo but you can see them sitting there in silence.

Opening sequence.

Sid vs. Mike Khoury

Sid has Tatanka and Ted DiBiase in his corner. Isn’t that a bit excessive for a squash? Powerbomb ends this in about a minute.

We look at Diesel injuring his elbow at In Your House and having surgery to fix it up. He should be back soon and won’t miss any significant time.

Adam Bomb vs. Bob Cook

Vince mentions that there will be a broadcast version of Wrestlemania this weekend and says he’s proud as a peacock about it. I’m not sure why he can’t say it’s on NBC (whose logo is a peacock) as they’re willing to air it but won’t let him market it? Bomb starts in on the arm and punches away before scoring with the top rope clothesline to end it quick. He never recovered from that Mabel match.

King of the Ring Control Center with Diesel and Bigelow promising to bankrupt and close the Million Dollar Corporation.

Hakushi vs. John Snakowski

Hakushi comes out with a bag containing……A BRET HART HEAD. You can hear the crow freak out over that and I can’t blame them. That was actually creepy. Hakushi chops a lot, hits a Vader Bomb and finishes with a running flip splash.

Antonino Rocca, Ernie Ladd and Ivan Putski will be inducted into the Hall of Fame.

Alundra Blayze wants to fight Bertha Faye. For some reason this takes three minutes.

Men on a Mission vs. Aaron Ferguson/Gary Scott

Scott fires off kicks to Mo’s fat gut to start but Mabel comes in and destroys him as you would expect. Aaron comes in to start on Mo’s arm but gets punched in the face for his efforts. It’s back to Scott so Mabel can splash him in the corner, setting up another splash for the pin.

Rating: D-. I’m running out of ways to describe these squashes. Mabel is huge and crushes people and Mo is just there because Mabel needed a partner. For the life of me I don’t know what Vince saw in Mabel to push him like he did but maybe he thought it was another Yokozuna. You know, without the talent, intimidation factor or anything else positive.

We look at the incomplete King of the Ring brackets.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Jeff Jarrett vs. Undertaker

As you might expect, Jeff is terrified but tries some right hands to start. That earns him the jumping clothesline and Old School. Just like last time, Roadie’s interference doesn’t work and Jeff has to avoid an elbow drop. Another Roadie distraction actually does work though and Jeff starts stomping away with a dropkick getting two. Jarrett starts in on the leg and we take a break. Back with the Figure Four going on until Jeff gets caught holding the ropes. A swinging neckbreaker keeps Undertaker in trouble but he grabs Jeff out of the air for a chokeslam. The Tombstone sends Undertaker to the tournament.

Rating: C. For once I’m ok with a champion losing clean because despite not being a champion, Undertaker is a much bigger deal than Jarrett could ever hope to be. This was a totally watchable match as Jarrett is more than capable of wrestling a simple match and making it look fine. The problem is when he’s asked to be interesting out of the ring because he’s just boring otherwise.

A preview for next week’s show and Bob Backlund raging against modern music wrap us up.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s really interesting how much one match not being horrible can help a show. Jarrett vs. Undertaker certainly isn’t great but it kept the show from leaving a bad taste in my mouth and that’s more than you usually get from any given episode. The King of the Ring is starting to take shape and that’s probably why I’m desperate to get out of this month.

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In Your House #1
Date: May 14, 1995
Location: Onondaga War Memorial, Syracuse, New York
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Doc Hendrix

Other than the matches mentioned, the main story tonight is the WWF giving away an actual house down in Florida to play up the In Your House name. This was a major idea that was heavily promoted on WWF television leading up to the show. It was a nice marketing idea as it gave some adults a reason to care about the show and possibly buy it for their kids. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the clash of the giants as well as several other matches on the card.

It’s Mother’s Day, meaning the announcers are going to talk about moms a lot tonight.

The set is exactly what you would expect: a big house with the wrestlers walking through the garage to get to the ring.

Bret Hart vs. Hakushi

Hakushi has his manager Shinja with him. Bret is in the back and says he’s going to prove how great he is and that he’s dedicated this match to his mother. How nice of him. Hakushi is a very unique looking wrestler as he has Japanese characters all over himself, giving him a nickname of the walking Japanese menu. Bret grabs a headlock to start but Hakushi easily escapes to a standoff. Now Bret tries the arm, only to be pulled to the mat by the hair.

The fans chant USA as Hakushi takes Bret down with a flying headbutt for two. Off to an armbar as this is still firmly in first gear. The stupid USA chant begins again, or maybe they’re all fans of the referee? Now it’s Bret on the arm before easily armdragging Hakushi down again, this time to the floor for a breather. Back in and Bret pounds away as things start to pick up again. Hakushi comes back with a kick to the face and what we would call a Vader Bomb for two.

Jerry Lawler is watching gleefully in the back as he still gets to face Bret later in the night. Hakushi stomps Bret down in the corner and hits what we would call a Bronco Buster before stopping to pose. Back up and Hakushi blocks an O’Connor Roll, sending Bret to the floor so he can be stomped even more by Shinja. Another Shinja distraction allows Hakushi to choke even more as the crowd is getting into this. Bret’s comeback is easily stopped by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, setting up a swan dive headbutt from Hakushi for two. Hakushi’s springboard splash misses completely and Bret is back on his feet.

Bret comes back with the Five Moves of Doom (Russian legsweep, backbreaker, middle rope elbow, atomic drop, Sharpshooter, pick an order for the first four) but he has to stop and deal with Shinja again. Bret pounds away on Hakushi but gets tripped by Shinja AGAIN, finally causing him to dive through the ropes and pound the man in the white suit.

Back in and Hart reverses a suplex into one of his own, sending both guys out to the floor in a nice crash. Shinja’s distraction allows Hakushi to get back up and hit a top rope Asai Moonsault to take both guys down again. Hart’s ankle might have been twisted in the process. Bret is pulled back in but has his rollup countered into an attempted German suplex, only to counter that into a victory roll to finally beat Hakushi.

Rating: B. Really solid match here and a great way to open up the show as well as the series. Hakushi wasn’t really much of note after this but that’s what Bret was best at: getting the most out of anyone he worked with. Really fun match here which had the time to get going and build into what it needed to be.

Bret twists his knee getting to the floor.

A way too excited woman looks at the entries in the sweepstakes for the house. We even get a video of the truck bringing the entries here earlier today. Seriously.

Jeff Jarrett/Roadie vs. Razor Ramon

Handicap match here after Roadie (more famous as the Road Dogg) helped Jarrett take Razor’s Intercontinental Title at the Royal Rumble. Razor’s normal partner the 1-2-3 Kid is out with an injury and calls in to say he’s watching the match. In the back, Razor also dedicates this match to his mom. Vince yells about Roadie and Jarrett both being in the ring to start, prompting Hayes to say that Vince doesn’t make the rules around here in a funny line.

Jarrett starts for the team and is promptly punched down and then slapped in the face. Roadie is lurking around the floor before getting back up on the apron. Back in and Jeff misses a dropkick before being clotheslined hard out to the floor. Roadie gets in a cheap shot to take Razor down from behind, allowing Jarrett to connect with an enziguri to take over. Not that it matters though as Ramon catches Jeff’s cross body in the fallaway slam for two.

Roadie comes in for his first match and scores with a quick clothesline and a snapmare to put him down. Back to Jarrett who gets a quick two off a sunset flip before Razor gets the same off a small package. Not exactly thrilling stuff so far but they’re not boring the people to death. After more basic stuff from Roadie it’s back to Jeff, only to have him jump right into a punch to the ribs. Razor is backdropped out to the floor and there goes his bad knee again. Roadie adds a middle rope clothesline and Ramon is in big trouble.

Back in and Ramon is dazed but still manages to roll through a top rope cross body from Jeff into a two count, only to be taken right back down with a neckbreaker. Jeff’s running hip attack only hits ropes but Razor collides with him, putting both guys down again. Ramon has the word Kid written on his boots. Back up again and Razor hits a belly to back suplex, putting both guys down one more time.

Jeff is able to make the tag before Razor can get up and it’s Roadie hitting a middle rope knee drop for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Razor fights up and jawbreaks his way to freedom, putting both guys down for the third time in five minutes. Razor suplexes both guys down but Jeff goes to the bad knee to slow him up. The Figure Four is kicked away though, sending Jeff into Roadie and a quick Razor’s Edge takes Jeff out for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it could have been the same match in about half the time. On top of that the knee injury really didn’t play much of a role in the match after the announcers talked so much about how bad Razor’s knee was. This feud wouldn’t last much longer but it worked pretty well for both Jarrett and Ramon.

Post match the heels go after the knee but Portuguese wrestler Aldo Montoya tries to make the save. That goes nowhere so here’s yet to be named Savio Vega from the crowd for the real save, only to have him be taken away by police.

Jerry Lawler wants to face Bret right now but president Jack Tunney says no.

Video on Sid dominating his way to the title match tonight.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Mabel vs. Adam Bomb

Bomb is about 6’4 and over 300lb but Mabel towers over him at 6’10 and 508lb. Mabel has recently turned heel so he jumps Bomb before the bell rings. A splash in the corner has Bomb in trouble but he comes back with right hands to send Mabel to the floor. Adam dives out onto Mabel and pounds away before sending him back inside for a pair of top rope clotheslines, getting two each. Not that it matters much though as Mabel catches Adam’s cross body and falls down on him (think Mark Henry’s World’s Strongest Slam) for the pin in less than two minutes. Mabel was his usual fat and worthless self here.

Razor introduces the man that saved him as Caribbean wrestling legend Savio Vega.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. Yokozuna/Owen Hart

Yokozuna was Owen’s mystery partner at Wrestlemania where they took the belts from the Gunns. Lawler is out here again but still can’t get his match with Bret at the moment. The champions are managed by Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette. Billy tries to grab a headlock on the 600lb+ Yokozuna and it works as well as you would expect it to. A pair of dropkicks work a bit better but Yoko headbutts Bart down before bringing in Owen.

The Gunns can handle a guy Owen’s size and take him down with a nice dropkick/suplex combination, only to go after Yoko again for some reason. Hart comes back with an enziguri to take Billy down before it’s back to Yoko for a big clothesline. We hit the nerve hold on Billy before it’s back to Owen who gets two off a neckbreaker.

A great looking enziguri puts Billy on the outside but he avoids a charge, sending Yoko into the post. Owen misses a charge of his own and there’s the somewhat hot tag off to Bart. A suplex puts Hart down and the Gunns hit a belly to back/neckbreaker combo for another two before Bart misses a dive and lands on the floor. Yoko drops a leg to crush him ever further before throwing him back in to Owen for the retaining pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t anything great but with less than six minutes there’s only so much they could have done. The problem with Yokozuna is there’s only so much anyone can do against him and it makes it hard to work around him. Not a horrible match due to Owen but it still wasn’t anything of note.

Diesel is sad because his mom died right after Christmas so he wishes all the other Mother’s a good day. He’s sore from an attack by Henry Godwinn but says he’s 100%. Diesel is also glad that Shawn Michaels will be watching at ringside.

Here’s Jerry Lawler in the ring with his…..mother, who looks to be about 24 years old. She wants to see Lawler, who is in his mid 40s here, beat Bret and then challenge Bret’s mom to a fight. We cut to the back to see Bret almost dancing because, in classic Hart fashion, he faked the injury.

Jerry Lawler vs. Bret Hart

Jerry didn’t see the interview so Bret limps to the ring again, only to climb in with ease. Lawler tries to run but gets caught in the corner where Bret pounds away. Bret takes him down with a slam and some legdrops followed by a BIG backdrop. All Hart so far but Lawler comes back with a quick piledriver (his finisher) but Bret is up in just a few seconds. He pounds way on Jerry in the corner again before piledriving Lawler down for one.

Jerry comes back with a slam of his own while going up top, only to jump into Bret’s fist to the ribs. Bret pounds away but here’s Shinja to distract Hart for about the 12^th time tonight. The referee is knocked into the ropes and gets his ankle tied up in the ropes as Bret hits the Russian legsweep. Hakushi comes in and takes out Bret with a kick to the head and two top rope headbutts, giving Lawler the easy pin.

Rating: D+. Again this didn’t have the time to go anywhere as the last two matches haven’t even combined to go 11 minutes. Lawler vs. Hart was a feud that went on for over two years and would culminate soon enough. This wasn’t the best entry in the series though but it furthered both itself and Hakushi vs. Bret so no complaints there.

Post match Bret gets up but Lawler escapes with his “mom”.

Sid very slowly says he’ll win the title and that he rules the world.

We look at the sweepstakes house in Orlando. Interviewer Todd Petingill finds some rakes in the garage so he and the annoying interview can mix up the entries before drawing out the winner whom they call with the results. Thankfully this only takes about five minutes.

The announcers talk about the main event for a bit.

WWF World Title: Sycho Sid vs. Diesel

Diesel is defending of course and Sid has Ted DiBiase as his manager. The idea here is they both use powerbombs as their finishers, which should tell you a lot about this match. Diesel fires off forearms to start and hits some running clotheslines in the corner to stagger Sid. An elbow to the jaw puts Sid on the floor and it’s time for a breather. Back in and three straight clotheslines get two on Sid as this is all Diesel so far. Sid pulls Diesel to the outside and knocks him down to take over for the first time.

Diesel is sent into the apron and post as the match slows way down with the challenger in control. A running boot to the side of the head has Diesel in even more trouble before they head back inside for clubbing forearms to Diesel’s back. Sid stops to pose, meaning he didn’t pay attention to the opening match. More shots to the back have Diesel in even more trouble and we hit a camel clutch. After about a minute and a half in the hold Diesel fights out, only to have Sid cannonball down onto his back for two.

Back to the camel clutch with Sid leaning forward, as in the exact opposite of what he’s supposed to be doing. At least pull your arms back man. Diesel starts breaking it, presumably out of boredom, and avoids a second cannonball attempt. Not that it matters though as Sid chokeslams him down and hits a quick powerbomb but poses instead of covering. DiBiase freaks out until Diesel is up at about two and one tenth. Diesel avoids a charge into the corner and drops Sid face first onto the buckle. There are the big boot and the Jackknife powerbomb but DiBiase’s other man Tatanka comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. There’s a reason you rarely see matches with the same style going for a long time: they’re not very good. The styles clash is too much to overcome and when it’s such a basic style like these two have, it doesn’t work well at all. Two similar styles can work, but you better be awesome at that style. Sid isn’t particularly good at anything in the ring and this was a prime example.

Sid, Tatanka and DiBiase triple team Diesel until Bam Bam Bigelow, a man DiBiase fired a month earlier, makes the save. Wasn’t Shawn supposed to be watching live?

Overall Rating: D+. The opening match was solid stuff but after that everything flew by until the horrible main event. This was a bad time for the company as Diesel wasn’t very interesting on top of the card but he could have good matches with the right opponents. Sid was so far from the right opponent that he was left, making for a bad match. Not much to see here but things would get a lot better. Also, the show only ran for 96 minutes, which just isn’t enough to go anywhere.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 1, 1995
Location: Civic Auditorium, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 5,800
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Sweet goodness I might as well just do the rest of 1995 at this rate. We’re just past Wrestlemania XI (close enough) and we’re about two weeks away from the first In Your House, meaning it’s time for Diesel vs. Sid. Yeah like I’ve said many times, this really isn’t a good period for the company. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Tatanka costing Bam Bam Bigelow the WWF World Title last week, causing Ted DiBiase to fire him. Bigelow fought back and said he quit, earning himself a big beatdown including a horrible powerbomb from Sid. Diesel ran out for the save and a Jackknife on Tatanka. Bigelow and Diesel shook hands to end the show.

Opening sequence.

We look at Sid powerbombing various people to send him into the main event.

Lawler has a contract for Bret Hart.

Allied Powers vs. George Anderson/Tom Hagan

That would be British Bulldog/Lex Luger. Anderson starts with Lex and gets hiptossed for trying to run the ropes. Bulldog comes in and eats a forearm to the face so it’s off to Hagan. As Bulldog beats on Hagan, I have to describe Tom’s attire, which looks like a birthday party store exploded. Anderson misses a charge and gets powerslammed for the squash pin.

We look at Jeff Jarrett cheating to retain the Intercontinental Title over Bob Holly on the Action Zone, resulting in the match being restarted. Holly got the pin but Jeff’s foot was on the ropes. Bob was named the new champion but the title was held up. Holly’s win isn’t considered an official title reign.

Bob Holly vs. Butler Stevens

Stevens takes him into the corner to start but gets armdragged and hiptossed for his efforts. A few knees to Bob’s ribs don’t do much and Holly’s high cross body is good for the pin.

We go to the In Your House Control Center with Todd Pettengill plugging the idea that the show is only $15. That really should be the selling point for this show: it’s 2/3 the length of a regular pay per view but only half the price. The big story here: Razor Ramon will be facing Jeff Jarrett/the Roadie in a handicap match due to a very real neck injury to the 1-2-3 Kid. Oh and they’re giving away a house in Orlando.

Mantaur vs. Sonny Rogers

Mantaur, the half man/half bull, has Jim Cornette with him. It’s the squash you would expect with Mantaur throwing him around, hammering away in the corner, shrugging off a comeback attempt and winning with a World’s Strongest Slam. They were just so lost at this point and Mantaur is a great example.

A cop from NYDP Blue accuses Man Mountain Rock of pretending to be a wrestler. Hey now he wasn’t horrible.

Sycho Sid vs. Razor Ramon

And no match as Sid jumps him through the pyro and destroys Razor in fantastic fashion. I remember watching this as a kid and thinking Sid was amazing for jumping through the pyro. Like, that’s crazy. Diesel makes the save.

Adam Bomb vs. Dave Sigfried

Bomb throws him around as you would expect and grabs a snap suplex. A clothesline breaks up Dave’s hiptoss attempt and Bomb lets this go a bit longer. Some really basic offense (clothesline, hiptoss, right hands) keep Sigfried in trouble and a top rope clothesline ends the goof.

Rating: D. I always liked Bomb so we’ll call this a little better than the normal dull jobber squash. He was a horrible talker or otherwise he might have been a good choice for a midcard power guy. But then he got squashed by Mabel at In Your House because KING MABEL could not be stopped.

Bomb throws his toy footballs into the crowd. That’s always going to work.

Razor gets medical treatment.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley is snooty and rich.

Men on a Mission vs. Bill Duke/Kevin Kruger

Mabel throws Kruger around (way too common tonight) and chokes him in the air. The jobbers’ double dropkick has no effect so it’s off to Mo for a change. A knee to the ribs drops Duke but Mo misses an elbow drop. It’s back to Duke as this squash just keeps going. We actually hit a chinlock for a bit before Mabel finally ends it with a belly to belly.

Rating: F. WAY too long here as it took the better part of five minutes to get rid of these goofs. Men on a Mission just wasn’t interesting as a heel team (or anything more than a comedy face team for that matter) but it was even worse when they turned Mabel into a monster heel for reasons of genuine stupidity.

Here’s Bret Hart to answer Lawler’s contract offer. Vince does Bret’s pose for a funny visual. Apparently Lawler thinks Bret signed to face Hakushi to get out of a match against Jerry at In Your House. Bret will fight Hakushi at In Your House but he’ll fight Lawler on the same night as a bonus. Pyro goes off to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This was the kind of horrible show that you grew to expect around this time, which should tell you why no one talks about this era. I was bored out of my mind with most of these matches and it’s all building towards Mabel vs. Adam Bomb? That’s my big reward after all this? Nitro can’t come around to light a fire under Vince soon enough.

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In Your House #5: Seasons Beatings
Date: December 17, 1995
Location: Hersheypark Arena, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 7,289
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

In addition to the main event of British Bulldog challenging Bret Hart for the WWF World Title, this is the first In Your House to feature the Undertaker on the pay per view (he had wrestled in several post PPV dark matches already). It’s rather interesting that one of the biggest and certainly most unique stars in the company hadn’t appeared in the first four editions of a PPV series and I’m not sure why he hadn’t. Anyway tonight he faces King Mabel in his signature match: the casket match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video starts with various symbols of Christmas before transitioning to shots of the Hart Family splitting apart as well as the Bulldog pinning Bret Hart at Summerslam 1992 in a masterpiece.

Santa Claus is here handing out presents.

Jerry Lawler promises us a big surprise.

Razor Ramon/Marty Jannetty vs. Sycho Sid/1-2-3 Kid

The Kid is full heel now and a part of the Million Dollar Team. Goldust rubs his chest while watching Razor come to the ring. Marty and the Kid start things off with Jannetty scoring with an enziguri for two. Some shoulder blocks and a clothesline get the same on the Kid and Marty goes over for the tag, freaking the Kid out. An atomic drop has Kid in trouble and now it’s off to Razor for the showdown. The Kid bails to the floor for a second but gets a toothpick in his face back inside.

Razor is having a good time but a blind tag brings in Sid to take over for the Million Dollar Team. Back to the Kid for a kick to the face but Razor glares at him after some chops. Sid comes back in to pound Ramon down and get cheered by the crowd in a surprising reaction. Razor comes back with some right hands and a double clothesline puts both guys down. A double tag brings in Marty to run over the Kid again and a powerslam is good for two.

A front flip facebuster out of the corner gets two on the Kid and it’s off to a camel clutch of all things. We go to Todd Petingill in the crowd with Goldust who quotes movie lines and expresses his lust for Ramon. This goes on for several minutes but at least we’re on split screen. Goldust asks Todd to give Razor a letter. Back to the match and Marty punches his way out of the corner but his cross body is caught in a powerslam for two.

Back to the Kid for a bad looking slam and a better looking guillotine legdrop for two before it’s back to Sid. Ramon gets suckered into the ring but gets in a right hand to the Kid. Marty is turned inside out by a clothesline and it’s off to a chinlock. Kid comes back in to drop a leg and then bring Sid back inside for some shots to the back.

It’s the Kid in again but he misses a charge in the corner, allowing for the tag off to Razor as things speed up. The fallaway slam puts Kid on the floor but Sid breaks up the Razor’s Edge. Not that it matters as Razor hits a quick middle rope bulldog (his finisher before he was in the WWF) for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not a terrible match but it went on too long for what they were going for. Jannetty was an odd choice as Razor’s partner against DiBiase’s boys as he was basically fighting everyone himself, but it was all about the him vs. the Kid anyway. Nothing much to see here and not the best choice for an opening match.

Here’s Jerry Lawler in the ring with a present for the returning Jeff Jarrett. After sucking up to Jeff for awhile, the present is opened to reveal a gold record of Ain’t I Great, Jeff’s single from six months earlier. Jarrett brags about how great he is and it doesn’t make anything more interesting. The only thing of note is he enters himself in the Royal Rumble.

Dean Douglas vs. Ahmed Johnson

Douglas says he has a back injury and can’t wrestle, so here’s his prized student Buddy Landell.

Buddy Landell vs. Ahmed Johnson

This is actually a joke, as Buddy Landell is a Ric Flair ripoff and comes to the ring to Flair’s WWF music in a Flair style robe. Douglas hates Flair in real life (never mentioned here of course), so it’s supposed to be funny that Douglas is Flair’s teacher or something like that. Not that it matters as Ahmed, a muscular monster with one of the most intimidating looks ever, destroys Landell and beats him with a Pearl River Plunge (double underhook powerbomb) in 32 seconds.

Post match Johnson paddles Douglas with the Board of Education. This would be Douglas’ last appearance. Lawler interviews Johnson and calls him stupid, allowing Jarrett to break the gold record over Johnson’s head. Jeff also gets in a few chair shots and rams Ahmed into the steps a couple of times, but Ahmed no sells them and chases Jarrett off.

Todd gives Razor the letter from Goldust and Ramon is disgusted, because it’s 1995 and anyone gay has to be a heel right?

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Henry Godwinn

This is a hogpen match, meaning there’s an actual hog pen with pigs and mud near the entrance and the winner is the first man to send his opponent into said pin. Why is this match happening you ask? Simply put it’s because Godwinn is a hog farmer so he associates with hogs. One note characters like him had a lot to do with the downfall of the WWF at this point, as there’s no interest to such characters, meaning there’s no reason to stick around and watch them. The guest referee is 1980s crowd favorite Hillbilly Jim.

Godwinn slops the ring announcer before the match starts for no apparent reason. Helmsley jumps Godwinn but is quickly sent to the floor for his efforts. Back in and Henry ties him in the ropes so he can rub more slop in Helmsley’s face. After nearly retching, Helmsley takes it back to the floor, only to be bulldogged face first into the steps.

They head up the pen with Henry being whipped into the gate but still managing to block a Pedigree attempt with a backdrop. Helmsley lands on the edge of the pen and kicks Henry down before dropping an elbow to the chest. Lawler makes Jeff Foxworthy style jokes about being from Arkansas as they head back inside where Godwinn hits a big wheelbarrow slam. Helmsley is whipped to two corners and out to the floor for another handful of slop. Henry hits the Slop Drop up by the pen but can’t follow up. Instead he charges at Helmsley and gets backdropped into the slop to end things.

Rating: C-. This actually wasn’t that bad as it was a regular match until the ending. Again though, why am I supposed to care? It’s the lowest level of comedy and storytelling possible, which doesn’t mean it’s necessarily bad, but we have no reason to care about either of these guys so why should I be interested in the match?

Post match Henry slams Helmsley into the pen for fun. That’s a nice idea as at least the fans get the (limited) payoff.

We recap Diesel’s change of attitude since he lost the world title at Survivor Series, which has seen him act much more aggressive. This was what he should have been doing as champion.

Diesel vs. Owen Hart

This is a revenge match for Diesel as Owen kicked Shawn Michaels in the head and put him on the shelf as a result. Diesel launches Owen into the corner to start and hits a big side slam for no cover. The arena is full of smoke from Diesel’s entrance. Owen comes back with some right hands but Diesel easily throws him to the outside for a meeting with Cornette.

Back in and Owen scores with a missile dropkick before going after Diesel’s knee to take him down. A spinwheel kick gets two on Diesel but he easily kicks Hart away to break up a spinning toe hold. Diesel comes back with a big boot and the Jackknife (“This is for you Shawn!”) but he takes his foot off Owen’s chest at two. The referee begs him to let it end so Diesel shoves him down for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match was going along pretty well until the stupid ending. I understand that they’re trying to push Diesel as being more aggressive, but having him lose isn’t the way to go about doing that. This is Diesel’s third straight PPV loss which doesn’t make me think he’s a monster but rather a guy who can’t finish his opponents.

Here are Savio Vega and Santa Claus to hand out presents to the fans, but Ted DiBiase interrupts them. He says everyone has a price and calls them both into the ring. DiBiase doesn’t believe Santa can make it around the world in one night but he knows someone who can. Savio says he doesn’t have a price and says he believes in Santa.

However, this isn’t the real Santa. It’s really…..XANTA CLAUS, Santa’s evil brother from the south pole who steals presents from children. I wish I was making this up but I promise you it’s real. Xanta lays out Savio and leaves with DiBiase but Savio chases after them, only to get beaten up again. Vince: “SAY IT’S NOT SO!!!” Xanta is played by future ECW mainstay Balls Mahoney.

Mabel says he isn’t scared of the Undertaker, who has returned after having his face crushed by Mabel and Yokozuna. Tonight it’s a casket match, meaning you have to put your opponent in a casket and close the lid to win.

King Mabel vs. Undertaker

Mable now has a very stupid looking mohawk to go with his stupid looking gold and purple pajamas. He jumps Undertaker to start but Undertaker comes back with rights and lefts in the corner. Mabel takes him down with a Boss Man Slam but Undertaker pops right back up. A clothesline gets the same result but a slam keeps Undertaker down for a bit. Mabel goes up for a middle rope splash but Taker moves to avoid probably death. Instead a belly to belly and legdrop keep Undertaker down and there’s a splash for good measure.

Mabel and Sir Mo roll Taker into the casket but don’t shut the lid because they’re not that bright. Undertaker blocks the eventual lid closure as Mabel is dancing in the ring with his crown. Back in and Taker pounds away before kicking Mabel into the casket. Mo’s save is easily thwarted with a chokeslam and he gets thrown in as well. Undertaker takes back the necklace made from the Urn (don’t ask) and slams the lid shut for the win.

Rating: D+. This was about as perfect as you could get to end the Undertaker vs. Mabel feud but it doesn’t help that we had to sit through it for so many months. Thankfully Mabel was gone soon after this with his last notable appearance coming in January. Undertaker is a good force to have back in the company as he was probably the third most popular guy in the company at this point.

Post match Undertaker motions that he wants the WWF Title.

Jim Cornette walks us through Bret’s history with the Bulldog, who is married to Bret’s sister. Unlike in 1992 where the sister Diana was split on who to cheer for, she’s firmly in her husband’s corner tonight.

Bret says he’s making up for 1992 tonight.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog

The much stronger Bulldog shoves the champion into the corner to start but Bret grabs an armbar to take over. Davey flips around a lot but ultimately takes Bret down by the hair like a true villain should. Back to the armbar by Bret as we take a look at Cornette’s tennis racket cover which looks like Santa Claus’ face. Bret gets two off a cross body and goes right back to the arm. Smith comes back with another hair pull before tying Bret up in the Tree of Woe (hanging him upside down in the corner) to stomp away.

Off to the chinlock as the fans are solidly behind Bret. They soon get bored of cheering for him though and start chanting for the then upstart promotion ECW. Vince informs us that the Undertaker has challenged the winner of this match for the Royal Rumble. After a Cornette tennis racket shot we’re in the third chinlock less than ten minutes into the match before the required chest first bump into the buckle gets two on Hart.

A backdrop puts Bret down for two more and we hit the chinlock again. At least this time he makes it a headlock as the fans chant USA, in theory for the Canadian champion. Bret comes back with a monkey flip and a bulldog to the Bulldog for two. A piledriver lays Smith out for two more but Bulldog crotches Bret on the ropes to break up a superplex. Bret falls to the floor and the fans want a table. Instead they get the champion being sent into the steps as Bulldog is in control.

Smith sends him hard into the barricade and Bret is busted wide open. Back in and Bulldog piledrives Bret down for a near fall before pounding at the cut on the forehead. The delayed vertical suplex gets the same and there’s a gorilla press slam for good measure. Bulldog channels his former partner the Dynamite Kid with a headbutt to the back for two. Smith seems to have hurt his knee though so Bret tries a quick Sharpshooter, only to have Smith break it up just as easily.

A hard shoulder puts Bret onto the floor so Smith can try to get some feeling back into his knee. Bret counters a suplex back inside into a rollup for yet another near fall before a double clothesline puts both guys down. They’re quickly back up and a backdrop puts Smith on the floor. Bret is ticked off now and dives over the top to pound away on Smith even more. Davey will have none of that though and powerslams Bret down on the floor to suck the life out of the crowd.

The protective mats are peeled back but Bret blocks a suplex by crotching Davey on the barricade in a nice callback to earlier in the match. Bret clotheslines him off the barricade and heads back inside where a backbreaker gets two. Now the superplex connects for two and an O’Connor Roll gets the same. In a really sudden finish, Bulldog charges into a boot in the corner and Bret cradles him for the pin. The look on Diana’s face makes the ending even better as it almost says “HOW DARE YOU KEEP THE TITLE!”

Rating: B-. This got WAY better in the end but the first ten minutes or so of this were pretty dreadful. Also the ending didn’t do it any favors as I was expecting a callback to the Summerslam 1992 match but we didn’t get anything close to it. Still though, good match and by far the best thing we’ve had on one of these shows in the last two shows.

Paul Bearer (Undertaker’s odd manager) and Undertaker are pleased that they get a title shot at the Royal Rumble. Diesel comes in and says it’s his shot. The giants stare each other down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. While this isn’t a good show, it’s WAY better than the previous two entries in the series. Bret is just better as champion as he can work with almost any style and get a better match out of most people. The rest of the card was pretty horrible, but things would be changing quickly around here which is the best thing that could have happened for the WWF.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 21, 1996
Location: War Memorial Coliseum, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Buried Alive has come and gone and now we can get on to the serious stuff with Survivor Series coming up in just a few weeks. Sid is the new #1 contender to Shawn Michaels’ WWF World Title while Mankind was buried alive in a not that great brawl. Tonight is about change though as last week’s rating was such a disaster that something had to be done. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about Bret Hart and Mr. Perfect returning tonight.

Sycho Sid vs. Owen Hart

Owen is one half of the Tag Team Champions. Sid starts fast and knocks Owen to the floor but Hart clotheslines him over the top and out to the floor for a crash. Cue the British Bulldog for a few cheap shots, allowing Owen to hit Sid in the leg as we take a break. Back with Sid still being beaten down and having his leg worked on. I mean he’s barely selling it but it is being worked on.

Sid keeps trying to fight back but Owen kicks the leg out to stay in control. A quick comeback (with no injury in sight) ends with Sid missing a legdrop so Owen can hit the knee even more. This is the same thing that happened to Benoit when Sid wouldn’t sell the knee against him in 1999. A leglock goes nowhere so Sid hits a chokeslam to draw in Bulldog for the DQ.

Rating: D-. That’s all on Sid as Owen was doing the logical play of going after the big man’s knee but there’s not much he can do when Sid just won’t sell the stupid thing. That was a standard from Sid and it got old in a hurry but that’s what you had to expect from him. Owen can only do what he can and the rest is up to Sid. You can’t blame Owen for Sid being a schnook.

Shawn Michaels comes in for the save which Sid doesn’t seem to appreciate.

Stills of the Buried Alive match which Undertaker won, only to be buried alive himself thanks to a masked executioner and a bunch of other villains. Undertaker’s hand came through the dirt to end the show. This would be better if the Smoking Gunns’ music wasn’t playing over the end of the package.

Smoking Gunns vs. The Godwinns

JR comes out to do commentary and make sure the show is dragged down as a result. The bell rings and we’re finally ready to go after nearly a minute thanks to Hillbilly Jim (Godwinns’ manager in a perfect fit) doing his clapping stomps. Bart and Phineas slowly get things going with Bart working on the arm before we take an early break.

Back with Bart coming in again as we start talking about Bret instead of this boring match. Billy misses a charge into the corner and the hot (I think?) tag brings in Henry to clean house. It wasn’t that dirty in the first place but there has to be something to spice this match up. The Slop Drop ends Bart in a hurry.

Rating: D. Can we just get Bret and Perfect out here already? These boring acts are getting harder and harder to sit through as the wrestling is horrible and the stories aren’t the most interesting in the world either. The Gunns splitting could spice things up a bit but Bart just isn’t going to be worth watching no matter what.

Pat Patterson Hall of Fame video.

Mr. Perfect is warming up when Helmsley jumps him from behind. Perfect comes up holding his knee and I think you know what’s coming.

Clip from Livewire (which apparently was a much bigger deal than you would think) of Austin saying he wants to take out Bret.

Here’s Bret for his big return speech. He gets right to the point: a rival wrestling promotion (not named but I doubt it’s ECW) has been in negotiations with him but he’s not sure what to do. He’s not here for money because all he wants is respect. Everything he has is due to his fans and he’s sticking with the WWF forever. Apparently Vince had no idea what Bret was going to say so his applause is very genuine. We see the roster watching in the back and only Austin seems upset at the news.

Now it’s time to get to the real story here though and that’s what happened after Wrestlemania XII. There are people who might think Shawn Michaels is a little bit better than him or even a little bit cuter. That might be true but Shawn will never be as tough or as smart as Bret. Bret is the best wrestler in the WWF today and at Survivor Series he’ll prove that when he faces Steve Austin. We go back to the locker room where Pillman is WAY too excited over that news, earning himself a glare from Austin.

So why is Bret back? There was a fan in Canada that got very sick in a hurry and there was a chance that he wasn’t going to make it through the night. Bret promised the kid that if he could make it through the night, he started feeling better, only to pass away soon thereafter. That was Bret’s nephew but he was going to come back anyway because he had made a promise. All that matters is that he’s back and he’s back for good. Really good stuff here and that nephew part was awesome.

And now, a Karate Fighters tournament.

Mr. Perfect vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Actually no as Perfect’s knee is too banged up and Gorilla Monsoon says this can’t happen. Instead Marc Mero is here and is willing to put the Intercontinental Title on the line against Helmsley RIGHT NOW.

Intercontinental Title: Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Marc Mero

Mero is defending and Perfect is on commentary. Marc grabs an armbar to start before dropkicking Helmsley out to the floor. Helmsley pulls Mero’s manager Sable into the way of a dive before the champ can die to really show how evil he can be at times. Back in and Helmsley takes over with a quick tilt-a-whirl backbreaker before the knee drop misses by a good six inches. Mero gets in a clothesline and we take a break.

Back with Marc hitting a slingshot legdrop and getting two off a top rope moonsault press. The referee gets bumped though and it’s time for a chair. Perfect goes in as well and takes it away, only to knock Mero cold instead, giving Helmsley the pin and the title in a big old swerve.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t great but the angle was sweet and that’s all that mattered here. All of a sudden Helmsley looks like a brilliant heel and a much bigger deal instead of just some blue blooded snob with potential but nothing worth getting excited over. That’s what a good veteran heel rub can give you, but for some reason it almost never works.

Overall Rating: B. This is a show where you could feel the whole thing changing at around the halfway point. The first two matches were horrible and major wastes of time but after that the show jumps up about five levels in quality in a matter of seconds. You can feel things changing and that’s the best news the company could have heard at this point.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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In Your House #11: Buried Alive
Date: October 20, 1996
Location: Market Square Arena, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 9,649
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

This is another of those shows where there just isn’t much to say. There are only five matches on the card and only two of them are worth much of anything. It’s always interesting to see a main event with the focus being something other than the world title feud and Undertaker vs. Foley would be going on for a lot longer after this. Let’s get to it.

Also of note: this is the first ever WWF pay per view with the reigning WWF World Champion not in action.

The opening video talks about Undertaker spending his life at war with Mankind and warns Mankind to enjoy his last breaths before he’s buried alive.

There’s a big mound of dirt with a tombstone next to an open grave.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Steve Austin

The first of many, many times and it’s heel vs. heel here. Before the match Austin says that he’s fine with fighting Helmsley since Savio Vega is injured tonight. Apparently Bret Hart is coming back to Raw and Austin hopes it’s to announce his retirement. Before we get to the match though, I should note JR is in full heel mode here, constantly ranting about how he won’t be silenced and how he’s the real voice of the WWF. The fact that the mics aren’t all working ticks him off even more.

Feeling out process to start with Helmsley armdragging Austin down. JR has his microphone changed as Austin goes to the floor to jaw with a fan. Back in and Austin armdrags Helmsley down and flips him off. The feeling out process continues as JR takes credit for Bret coming back while his mic cuts in and out. Austin gets tired of this slow paced stuff and slaps Helmsley in the face to speed things up a bit. Helmsley bails to the apron as we’re nearly five minutes into this match and we’ve had two armdrags and a slap to the face.

Back in and an elbow to the head puts Helmsley down and we hit an armbar from Austin. Helmsley fights up and pokes Austin in the eye as we’ve got a split screen of the match and the commentators for no apparent reason. Back to the armbar for a bit before Helmsley fights up and buries a knee into Austin’s ribs. A backdrop puts Austin down as Hunter has his first advantage. There’s a knee drop to the head for two and Helmsley is getting frustrated. The mics still aren’t working with JR cutting in and out on almost every other word.

We hit the chinlock on Austin and it’s back to the split screen for a few moments. Austin fights up and they trade sleeper holds until a jawbreaker puts Helmsley down for two. A Stun Gun (hot shot) gets two more for Austin but Helmsley hits a jumping knee to the face and a middle rope right hand for two. They clothesline each other down and here’s Mr. Perfect who will be facing Helmsley tomorrow night. Perfect comes to the ring to put his arm around Helmsley’s valet, allowing Austin to get in some cheap shots.

That’s not cool with Perfect either so Austin throws a soda at him, only to have Helmsley jump him from behind. Perfect leaves with the valet, which causes Helmsley to drop the Pedigree attempt. Austin goes after him but gets suplexed in the aisle to put both guys down. Helmsley is catapulted into the post and they head inside where the Stunner ends this in a hurry.

Rating: C+. This was more an historical anomaly than anything else as Helmsley was still slowly coming up the card and Austin was ready to move up the ladder. Still though, these two fighting each other is always worth a look. The JR stuff got old fast though as the constant breaks in commentary were distracting.

We recap the Smoking Gunns vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog. There isn’t much to this one as the Gunns lost the titles last month and are having problems due to Sunny. She fired both of them after losing though so she won’t be a factor tonight.

Before the match Billy says they’ll get the titles back and Sunny will be back at their side. He doesn’t seem interested at sharing the glory with Bart though.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog

Billy starts with Owen and takes him down with a headlock. The microphone keeps cutting in and out as JR gets more and more annoyed. He manages to say Owen got a haircut. Lawler: “How analytical.” Billy goes up top but jumps into a punch to the ribs, giving the champions their first advantage. Bulldog comes in to crank on the arm as the announcers debate cowboys. Bart gets in a cheap shot to put Bulldog down. Sunny can be seen watching in the back.

Bart comes in legally but misses a high cross body, giving Bulldog two. Back to Owen for a missile dropkick and some headbutts in the corner for good measure. The champions put Bart down again with a double clothesline as JR rips into Vince for his obvious points on commentary. Owen drops a leg and puts on a chinlock and JR is now claiming a conspiracy by Vince. Bulldog distracts Billy by posing and Bart is whipped into the ropes, knocking his partner down to the floor.

Billy trips Owen down and accepts the tag from his brother like nothing happened. A double Russian legsweep gets two on Owen, followed by an elbow from Billy. There’s a neckbreaker dedicated to Sunny but she doesn’t seem all that interested. Back to Bart who breaks up a tag attempt as the Gunns continue to double team Owen. Bulldog is knocked off the apron but he sneaks back in to pull Bart down, breaking up the Sidewinder. Owen pops back up and hits a spinwheel kick to take out Billy for the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. This was again more storytelling than a match but no one thought the Gunns were going to get the belts back, nor did most people want them to. Owen and Bulldog were a much better team and the Gunns’ time was over. Not a bad match or anything, but it was all about the story instead of the match, which is fine in this case.

Bart leaves on his own.

Vince talks about Faarooq, a newcomer feuding with Ahmed Johnson, being attacked earlier but JR gets in the ring. Before he gets to the point, he says he won’t talk about Vince firing him and trying to ruin his life. Bret Hart will be in Fort Wayne, Indiana tomorrow night and it’s not because of Vince. It’s because JR went to South Africa to talk to him because JR loves the fans more than Vince. JR rants about Vince destroying the microphones (which the fans in the arena wouldn’t know about) and throws his mic to Vince before storming off.

Back to Faarooq, he says he’s ready for Ahmed no matter what. Johnson lost the Intercontinental Title because of Faarooq so Ahmed jumped him on the Free For All, injuring him.

Here’s Mr. Perfect to replace JR on commentary.

Intercontinental Title: Goldust vs. Marc Mero

Mero is champion after winning a tournament due to Ahmed being injured and therefore stripped of the title. Mero defeated Faarooq in the finals and this was supposed to be a rematch but Johnson prevented that from happening. Another feeling out process to start, complete with Goldust doing his big deep breath. Some armdrags and a hiptoss put Goldust down and we hit the armbar. Goldust fights up and pounds away in the corner before doing the same in the opposite corner.

Mero is tired of the beating and takes Goldust down to fire off right hands of his own. A backdrop sets up a clothesline and Goldust bails to the floor. The champion hits a BIG flip dive over the top to take Goldie out again and a slingshot legdrop gets two back inside. Mero goes up again but gets powerbombed down and sent to the floor. Back in and we hit the chinlock on the champion before a knee to the ribs puts Mero down again.

We hit another chinlock as Mero is in some trouble. The champion fights up again but gets clotheslined down. Goldust asks for a microphone, threatening to come into the crowd and stick his tongue down everyone’s throat if they keep booing him. Mero uses the distraction to take Goldust down and gets two off a spinning moonsault press. Goldust’s Curtain Call (reverse suplex) is countered into a rollup for two and we head to the floor again.

Mero is sent into the barricade and Perfect is tired of the referee doing nothing. He gets up and helps Marc back inside, drawing Helmsley back out for a showdown. Perfect drops Goldust with a right hand, allowing Mero to bring it back inside for a Samoan drop and the Wild Thing (Shooting Star Press) to retain.

Rating: C+. Mero was pretty awesome in the ring at this point and could fly with the best of them. He could also talk and had a good look, but somehow this was pretty much the peak of his career in the WWF. This was a fun match but cutting out a minute or two in the middle would have helped a lot. Still though, not bad and it even advanced Perfect vs. Helmsley for tomorrow.

We recap Sid vs. Vader, which is set up as a fight over who is the master of the powerbomb. This was supposed to be the main event of WCW’s Starrcade 1993 with the same story but a lot of problems prevented it from happening. Tonight it’s a result of Shawn vs. Camp Cornette as seen at the end of Mind Games when Sid saved Shawn from Vader.

Sycho Sid vs. Vader

The winner gets a world title shot at Survivor Series so Shawn comes out to do commentary. They slug it out to start with Sid knocking Vader down and dropping a leg for two. Sid pounds away in the corner but Vader blocks a slam with a right hand to the face. Now it’s Vader pounding Sid down in the corner before hitting a running splash. Sid falls to the floor and lays there for a very long time without getting counted out.

Back up and Sid pounds away from the apron before actually trying a sunset flip, only to have Vader sit down on his chest. Sid gets up again and a double clothesline puts both guys down one more time. Vader slugs him into the corner but a splash is broken up by a boot to the face. Sid goes up top but a cross body is caught in midair with a SCARY display of strength.

A slam and a splash get two for Vader and there’s a middle rope splash for the same, but this time Vader pulls Sid up before three. Instead he loads up the Vader Bomb but it lands on knees, allowing Sid to slam Vader down. He sets up the powerbomb but has to take care of Cornette. Another powerbomb attempt is countered by a Vader low blow. Now it’s Vader loading up the powerbomb, but he pulls out and punches Sid in the head, allowing Sid to grab a quick chokeslam for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: D. They kept this short which is the right idea, but the match was nothing all that great. There’s only so much you can do in a match like this and they pretty much firmly hit that ceiling. Also, shouldn’t there have been at least one powerbomb in a match built around who is the master of the powerbomb?

Shawn celebrates Sid on his win and nothing happens.

After a Survivor Series ad, JR horns in on a Sid interview and pesters Sid into saying he’ll do anything to beat Shawn.

We recap Mankind vs. Undertaker. Mankind jumped Undertaker on April 1 and laid him out like no one had in years if ever, triggering a months long feud. Eventually Paul Bearer turned on Undertaker to join Mankind, ending a six year partnership. Tonight Undertaker has vowed to bury Mankind alive.

Mankind vs. Undertaker

As mentioned there’s a big mound of dirt with an open grave in the middle. You win by dragging your opponent to the grave and covering them with dirt. The brawl is on to start as the arena is still full of smoke from Undertaker’s entrance. Mankind comes back with right hands in the corner, only to be grabbed by the throat and tossed in himself. Undertaker kicks him to the floor and into the barricade, setting up a HUGE dive off the top to send Mankind onto the concrete.

They brawl up the aisle (by brawl I mean Undertaker punches and Mankind stumbles) towards the grave site where Undertaker grabs a shovel. It takes too long though so Mankind tries a suplex, only to be caught in a small package of all things, sending them tumbling down the dirt. They fight back to ringside with Undertaker still firmly in control. Undertaker chokes Mankind with a microphone cord and they head into the crowd. More right hands have Mankind in trouble, including Undertaker diving over the barricade with a clothesline.

They head back inside where Old School is countered to give Mankind his first advantage. He chokes Undertaker down in the corner and blasts Taker with some kind of jagged object handed to him by Bearer. Undertaker comes back with a shot to the throat and takes away the object for a few shots of his own. A jumping clothesline puts Mankind down and Undertaker goes after Bearer. Mankind tries a chair shot but gets kicked in the ribs, only to have Paul blast Undertaker with the urn, allowing Mankind to hit Undertaker with the chair.

A running knee drives Undertaker’s head into the steps and they head up to the grave site again. Undertaker gets knocked into the grave but Mankind can only get in a few shovels full of dirt before getting pulled in as well. They fight out of the hole with Undertaker throwing Mankind off the dirt and down to the floor again. Back inside again with Mankind hitting a pulling piledriver and covering which means nothing here.

A double arm DDT onto the chair knocks Undertaker out but Mankind grabs the urn to rock back and forth. Undertaker sits up and CRACKS Mankind in the back with the chair before legdropping it down onto his face. Mankind comes back with a Stunner onto the top rope and peels back the mats on the floor. His piledriver is countered into a kind of backdrop onto the steps to put further destroy Mankind’s body.

The steps are brought inside and dropped onto Mankind’s back, setting up the Tombstone to knock him out cold. Undertaker carries Mankind to the grave site but on the way Mankind grabs the Mandible Claw to take over. It doesn’t last long though as Undertaker gets a quick chokeslam to send Mankind into the grave. The burial is quick and Undertaker wins.

Rating: B-. Good match here between two guys who could bring the brutality when they had the chance. Mankind was one of the only guys that could give Undertaker a run for his money and there were moments where he looked like he had a chance. It’s the best match of the show and that’s what a main event should be most of the time.

Undertaker keeps burying him and shoves the referees away when they try to stop him. Out of nowhere here’s a man in an executioner hood to blast Undertaker in the back of the head with a shovel. He gets Mankind out of the grave and throws Undertaker in instead. Thunder starts rumbling and the lights flicker as Mankind and the other guy bury Undertaker.

The lights straighten out as the grave fills up with dirt and here are Goldust and some other villains to help. This goes on for a good while until thunder rumbles some more and the shovel is stuck down in the dirt. Mankind and Bearer leave before a bolt of lightning hits the grave and Undertaker’s hand sticks out of the dirt to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It’s not a great show but this is a really easy sit through with nothing being all that bad. The worst match is pretty easily Sid vs. Vader and that only runs about eight minutes. It’s interesting that the best show in awhile didn’t have Shawn in action which might have been a sign. There’s nothing great to see here but it’s definitely not a bad show and is one of the better entries in the series so far.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 14, 1996
Location: Hersheypark Arena, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 3,923
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Jim Ross

It’s the go home show for Buried Alive but more importantly than that we have a major showdown with Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels in a non-title match. I really don’t think a show needs much more than that but we’re also going to get the blowoff between Jerry Lawler and Jake Roberts in the Roberts is a drunk angle. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Austin vs. Michaels.

Opening sequence.

Phineas Godwinn vs. Vader

There are A TON of empty seats opposite the camera, as in to the degree that WCW would laugh at them over it. Vader pounds him into the corner and onto the floor to start as JR goes on another rant against Vince which wouldn’t go anywhere since Vince would be back on commentary the next week. Cue Sid to distract Vader, allowing Phineas to run him over with a clothesline. Vader is knocked outside for a bit before Phineas hits an impressive slam. The Slop Drop doesn’t work as Vader grabs the rope and the Vader Bomb ends this a few seconds later.

Rating: D. Another not great match here but at least they kept it short so all the fans left in the arena won’t fall asleep in their chairs. Vader vs. Sid isn’t an interesting match for the pay per view with Sid popping up after that splash last week but maybe they can have the match that Starrcade couldn’t pull off back in 1993.

Here’s Mr. Perfect for a chat. He’s ready for a challenge from Hunter Hearst Helmsley and he’ll be right here next week to face him one on one. Not much to say here but keep an eye on this one.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Lawler comes out for his pre-match comedy routine but JR WILL NOT SHUT UP about how much he hates doing commentary with Vince. Jake finally stumbles out with a paper bag behind his back and JR messes it up again by saying “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he’s drunk!”. Lawler keeps making jokes and here’s Gorilla Monsoon to say Roberts can’t wrestle. With Lawler’s back turned, Jake stands up straight and tells Gorilla that he’s fine. They actually take a break and come back with Jake hitting the DDT for the pin in thirty seconds. Good grief they managed to screw up the fake drunk idea twice in a single match!

Post match Jake pours whiskey onto Jerry’s face and wraps the snake around him.

More from Jesse Jammes, who is re-releasing With My Baby Tonight later this year. Jim Johnston (third Double J in this story) is impressed with his talents you see.

Freddie Joe Floyd vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

I would bring up JR complaining about Vince again but the point is buried into the ground by now. Helmsley actually handcuffs his valet to the ring so Mr. Perfect can’t come out and woo her away again. That’s actually kind of awesome. Floyd takes him to the mat to start and grabs a headlock before Helmsley pounds him down with forearms in the corner.

Cue Mr. Perfect as Helmsley gets in a suplex and he just happens to have a key. Freddie hammers away as Perfect leaves with the lady. The Pedigree finally plants Floyd but HHH goes after perfect and gets punched in the face for the countout. So the referee was paying enough attention to count but not enough to see him get knocked down?

Rating: D. All storyline here as Perfect vs. HHH is turning into a great midcard story and a really strong example of what a veteran rub can do for someone like HHH. It might not be the best match but above all else it’s making HHH look important which is more anything else he’s done since his debut.

Austin is ready to beat Shawn tonight as a message to Bret Hart.

Here’s Sunny to debut a massive poster of herself. JR: “We’re wasting time here.”

Mankind says he’ll win on Sunday.

Faarooq vs. The Pug

Sunny is on commentary and hits on Kevin Kelly until he says he “does ok” financially. Now JR rips on Vince for Faarooq’s stupid looking headgear. Ok I’ll give him that one. A spinebuster and the Dominator end Pug in a hurry.

We see Faarooq and Ahmed Johnson having an argument over the phone earlier this week on Livewire.

Undertaker says it’s the calm before the storm.

Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

Non-title. Austin takes him into the corner to start and we cut to Cornette and Vader watching in the back. Cornette promises to crush Sid on Sunday and Vader barks a lot because he’s a bit out there. They trade hammerlocks early on with Shawn holding him down with a headlock.

Now we go to Sid who is WAY too excited to go to Buried Alive to face Vader for the title shot. Shawn grabs a chinlock for a bit before a pinfall reversal sequence sends Austin to the floor for a breather. Back in and the Stun Gun slows Shawn down but it’s too early for the Stunner. We take a break and come back with Vader coming in for the DQ less than thirty seconds later.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t designed to be anything more than an overhyped match with the rug being pulled out from underneath the fans. In other words it was a WCW style match and those have very rarely felt like anything important. These two would have a few more important matches but this wasn’t a great starting point for them.

Savio Vega comes in and is quickly dispatched but here’s Sid to clear the ring. Fake Diesel and Fake Razor come out to watch as Shawn and Sid yell at each other. Austin and Vader get back in and are dispatched again to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. These shows are just horrible and it definitely starting to take its toll with this show drawing the lowest rating (1.78) in the history of the show. People were just not liking what they were selling at this point and it was high time to change things up, which is exactly what would happen next week. The less said about this show the better though.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 19, 1995
Location: Struthers High School, Struthers, Ohio
Attendance: 1,450
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

It’s finally the go home show for King of the Ring 1995 and it’s not a moment too soon. Last week was mostly built around Jerry Lawler’s feet and I’m really not sure how many more times I can sit through something like that. We might even get some build towards the tournament for a change. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Undertaker vs. Mike McReynolds

Undertaker gets in an uppercut as this is the kind of beating that you get with Undertaker vs. a guy named Mike McReynolds. The smoke is still clouding the arena as the chokeslam and Tombstone wrap this up in a hurry.

McReynolds gets put in a body bag post match. He probably earned it.

Lawler goes on another rant about making Bret kiss his feet.

We look back at Bob Backlund destroying Man Mountain Rock’s guitar.

Man Mountain Rock thinks that was a pretty crummy thing to do.

Adam Bomb vs. Bill Payne

Adam runs him over with a shoulder to start and sends Payne flying with hiptosses. A side slam and belly to back suplex sets up the top rope clothesline to put Bill away. I still have a bit of a soft spot for Bomb.

King of the Ring control center with ANOTHER focus on Lawler’s feet. This really is the main event. Lawler torments Vince with the plastic feet and Bret says this is going to be a nice match against a slimeball. We wrap it up with a mention of the tournament with Razor Ramon’s injury being mentioned. It’s nice to have them actually tell you that a major name might be off the show. I can barely think of another instance in this era actually.

Sid/Tatanka vs. Headshrinkers

This is Fatu and Sione (Barbarian) instead of Samu. I remember waiting for Samu to make his comeback from eating bad fish for months but nothing ever came of it. I was devastated. Fatu and Tatanka get things going with Fatu (somehow the only Hall of Famer in this match) pounding down right hands in the corner. Tatanka sends him to the floor but we cut to Sid, who is blinking a lot.

Tatanka’s DDT just makes Fatu dance and you can see a lot of the Usos in there. It’s off to Sid so Fatu Moon Walks into the corner for the tag and the Headshrinkers knock Sid into trouble as well. A big clothesline turns Fatu inside out though to give us a signature bump and we take a break.

Back with Tatanka getting in some cheap shots from the apron before Fatu avoids a charge, only to have Tatanka break up the hot tag attempt. Not that it matters as we get the tag a few seconds later, bringing in Sione for a piledriver on Tatanka for a near fall. Everything breaks down and Sid powerbombs Fatu in the ring and gives Sione one on the floor, setting up an easy pin for Tatanka.

Rating: D+. This was the dark days of the Headshrinkers as Fatu was kind of a Rikishi prototype and Sione never worked that well as a partner. There’s always room for a Samoan team and you can use them for jobbers in spots like this. The problem was that they were losing to Sid and Tatanka who were a pretty lame main event threat.

We look at Sid injuring Diesel’s elbow until Bigelow made the save. As a bonus, we get a recap of the entire build which really isn’t helping things out.

Diesel isn’t worried about his elbow injury and Bigelow says there’s a lot of positive energy. Vince doesn’t buy this, but to be fair almost no one bought King of the Ring.

Lawler goes on a great maniacal tirade about how much he wants Bret to kiss his feet.

We go to Lawler’s dungeon to see what he has planned to use on Bret, including something called the Fallbrett. Lawler is clearly having a blast with this, even though it’s such a stupid idea.

Buck Quartermaine vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

HHH is still undefeated at this point. Buck’s arm work goes nowhere so the announcers talk about the Kiss My Foot match again. Some right hands and chops have Buck (whose boots don’t match) in trouble in the corner, followed by the Pedigree for the pin.

Shawn Michaels vs. Gus Kantarrakis

Gus is a very hairy guy and Vince makes sure to say his full name every time. Shawn runs him over to start and rides the goon on the mat a bit. With nothing else to do, Shawn jumps out to the floor and sits in the front row. Back in and Gus gets a few shots before they head outside again where the jobber gets suplexed on the floor. The superkick puts Gus out as you would expect.

Post match Kama comes in to jump Shawn but is quickly dispatched. Undertaker and Mabel come out as well but nothing happens.

Lawler promises to make Bret kiss his feet one more time to wrap it up.

Overall Rating: D. There’s a reason these shows are so nearly universally hated. Whether the WWF agrees with it or not, the Kiss My Foot match is the real main event on Sunday instead of the main event tag match which isn’t doing anything for anyone. The company was in a horrible place at this point and it’s really not surprising that King of the Ring was such a disaster.

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Royal Rumble 1997
Date: January 19, 1997
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 60,525
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

A good deal has changed since last year as we have Sid as world champion, defending his title against Shawn. Michaels had been champion for most of 96 before getting burned out badly and losing the title at the Survivor Series. On top of that though, WCW is MASSACRING the WWF right now with the NWO completely dominating the wrestling world. I believe this is the second biggest non-Wrestlemania PPV crowd ever for the company. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Shawn of course. Expect to hear that name a lot tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Goldust vs. HHH

HHH is defending and the idea here is pretty simple: HHH hit on Marlena and Goldie is standing up for her. He has Mr. Hughes as a bodyguard here which didn’t last long at all. This was also just after Goldust said he wasn’t gay, which got them out of some hot water with some gay rights groups. You know, because it’s ok to hate someone as long as you don’t hate them for being gay. HHH still has the Ode to Joy song here which is an awesome theme song.

Goldie takes him down in the aisle before the bell rings and the beating is on. We get a bell as HHH is dropped throat first onto the barricade. Goldust pounds away in the corner but HHH comes out with an atomic drop to counter. Helmsley’s offense lasts about eight seconds as Goldust catapults him to the floor. Goldie drops the steps on his back which isn’t a DQ for no apparent reason.

A guillotine slows Goldust down and apparently two fans who have sat in the Alamodome for weeks for the show have been thrown out. Gee, I wonder if Super Shawn can help them out. An uppercut gets two on HHH and Goldust laughs a lot before being knocked to the floor. HHH goes up top (!) and dives down onto Goldust to send him into the barricade. The jumping knee misses Goldust though and HHH hits the steel to change momentum again.

Back in and Goldust works on the knee rather slowly. HHH counters a leg lock with a kick to the face but he’s quickly caught in the Figure Four. Goldust hits a clothesline on the floor and rubs himself a bit. There’s a knee crusher onto the steps as somehow it’s STILL not a DQ. They head back in and Goldust misses a cross body to send him out to the floor. HHH goes for the wooden director’s chair…and let’s go to Todd Petingil for an interview with some country singer.

HHH hits the jumping knee for two but hurts his own leg in the process. Goldust lariats him down but gets crotched on the top for his efforts. After shoving HHH off, Goldust misses a top rope elbow and the title is thrown in. HHH kisses Marlena but gets blasted by the belt for two. A Hughes distraction is enough for HHH to hit the Pedigree to retain.

Rating: C-. This was too long in this spot in front of a crowd this size. It ran over sixteen minutes, which is way too long for two guys that didn’t mean much to most of the fans. This era wasn’t kind to the midcard guys, as they weren’t ready for spots like this but they were the only options the company had. It took a good while to get over that hump, but once it did, they never looked back.

Bret whines about being a marked man tonight. You could feel the heel turn coming and it was going to be glorious.

Mankind, another newcomer, is ready for the Rumble but he wants to hurt people instead of go to Wrestlemania.

Faarooq vs. Ahmed Johnson

The idea here is a basic revenge match, but Ahmed was out with an injury for so long that the heat is gone. Naturally this would keep going for about seven months because why not? This was during the original Nation period, when actors were hired to make the Nation look larger. That’s a brilliant idea actually. Johnson charges the ring and the beating is on quickly.

Ahmed pounds away in the corner until the referee calls him off. We head to the floor for a few seconds with Faarooq just trying to survive the opening part of the match. Things finally slow down a bit but it’s just so Ahmed can get a belt and whip Faarooq a bit. We head to the floor again and both guys are rammed into the steps. Faarooq slams him onto a chair and Johnson’s kidney injuries flare up again.

Back in and Johnson has his back worked over and Faarooq hooks a camel clutch. Johnson comes back with an electric chair drop but can’t follow up on it. Faarooq goes up but jumps into a powerslam. Johnson returns the favor and jumps into a spinebuster as his back is falling apart very quickly. Faarooq runs his mouth too long though and there’s another spinebuster by Ahmed, but the Nation comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not terrible here but the crowd continues to be dead. The idea here was supposed to be revenge but that only takes you so far when the incident that started the whole thing happened months ago. This wasn’t a great power match either, making this kind of a hard one to get into. Ahmed was pretty awesome before his injuries though.

Post match Ahmed chases off the Nation and powerbombs a member through the announce table.

Terry Funk says he’ll win the Rumble because he’s from Texas and born to Rumble.

Faarooq yells at the Nation actors for bailing on him. He says this is just beginning.

Undertaker vs. Vader

This is a feud that went on for a few months because they were a good pairing for each other. Taker avoids a charge to start and pounds away on the big man. Scratch that, make it on the shorter and wider man. Vader comes back with his standing body attack and a second one to take Undertaker down. It doesn’t keep him down of course so Vader hits the floor. Taker jumps off the apron with an ax handle and they brawl slowly. Vader literally has his hands on his hips while Taker uppercuts him.

Vader hits a Stunner on the apron to snap Taker on the rope before heading back in. A Fameasser of all things puts Vader down as does a slam. The followup legdrop gets two (BROTHER!) but Vader crotches him to counter Old School. Vader hits Taker low so let’s go talk to a fan in the audience. Seriously. We hear about her saving up her money and following Shawn Michaels everywhere she goes. Your PPV dollars at work people!

Vader clotheslines Taker down twice, one of which being from the middle rope for two. We hit the nerve hold but Taker fights up with his rapid fire punches. A belly to back suplex puts Vader down but Taker’s elbow misses. The masked man goes up but dives into a powerslam ala Starrcade 92 vs. Sting, but it doesn’t even get a cover here. Vader powerbombs Taker down for two and the Dead Man sits up.

There’s the big jumping clothesline and this time Old School hits, but here comes Paul Bearer. Taker chokeslams Vader down but spots Bearer instead of following up. Paul is thrown into the ring and punched a lot before Taker clotheslines Vader to the floor. Taker tries a kind of Poetry in Motion dive against the railing but Bearer makes the save, pulling Vader away. Bearer blasts Taker with the Urn, allowing Vader to hit the Vader Bomb for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not terrible here but again it ran too long. This was about setting up Bearer as Vader’s new manager which didn’t last long unless I’m completely forgetting something. Taker looked ok here, but his power stuff looks a lot better on smaller guys as he can’t throw Vader around all that well. Still though, not horrible.

Taker is all ticked off and beats up the referee as a result. He yells at Vince too but we can’t hear most of what he’s saying.

Austin says he isn’t talking to anyone until he wins the Rumble.

British Bulldog says he’s going to win the Rumble because he’s bizarre. Ok then.

Hector Garza/Perro Aguayo/El Canek vs. Jerry Estrada/Heavy Metal/Fuerza Guerrera

Take six guys, throw them in the ring for ten minutes to pop the crowd. I just hope I can remember which is which. Metal vs. Garza to start. Ok so Metal is in the yellow and black tights. Got it. They speed things up to stat before quickly hitting the mat. Off to Aguayo vs. Estrada who is in the white tassels. Perro chops Jerry down and backdrops him out to the floor.

Off to Canek vs. Guerrera who are the two masked guys. That makes things a lot easier to keep track of if nothing else. Canek hits a quick cross body out of the corner as the crowd continues to be dead here. Guerrera goes up but misses a Swanton, allowing Canek to hit a top rope cross body for two. Off to Metal vs. Garza again as things are STILL slow. That goes nowhere so here’s Canek vs. Estrada. Canek throws him around for a bit before it’s time for Guerrera to beat up Aguayo.

Aguayo armdrags Guerrera down and sends him to the floor for a bit. It should be noted that Perro is 51 years old so seeing him running and trying to dive is rather odd to see. Canek works on Metal’s leg, followed by a slingshot splash onto it by Garza. Heavy Metal gets an opening but won’t tag, so instead he ducks a bad looking kick from Canek as they stagger around a bit more.

Everything breaks down as even Vince sounds bored. Let me repeat that. VINCE MCMAHON sounds bored by a match. Garza finally does something interesting by hitting his corkscrew plancha on Estrada. The double stomp on Metal gets the pin for Aguayo and the crowd pops for the pin, likely because it’s finally over.

Rating: D. Think about it like this: in this match, four guys were either in their 40s or a year away from it. When you’ve got Juventud Guerrera and Chris Jericho and Rey Mysterio in the lucha matches in WCW blowing the roof off the place, it’s REALLY hard to get into something like this. Terribly dull match as they were mainly just looking old out there.

The attendance is announced and no one really cares.

Royal Rumble

There are 90 seconds intervals here which isn’t long enough but at least it’s not terrible like two years earlier. Finkel takes FOREVER to get through the entrances. Crush of the Nation of Domination is #1 and Ahmed Johnson is #2. Crush gets to jump Ahmed as he comes in and the beating is on quickly. Ahmed comes back with a clothesline and they brawl on the mat (read as roll around) for a bit. Fake Razor Ramon (bad parody that went nowhere and is remembered as being awful) is #3 as apparently the clock is messing up. Thankfully Razor is thrown out in about fifteen seconds.

Crush is thrown to the apron but Ahmed sees Faarrooq in the aisle. He eliminates himself and chases after Faarooq in a stupid bit. Phineas Godwinn is #4 as the clock speeds WAY up so we don’t have to look at people standing around. They have a really dull power brawl that goes nowhere and no one cares about at all. Austin is #5 and this HAS TO pick things up a bit. Phineas jumps him as soon as he gets in before Austin and Crush double team him. A clothesline misses Phineas though and Crush is dumped.

Austin dumps Phineas as well and is alone in the ring to face Bart Gunn at #6. Bart gets in some offense but is gone in about thirty seconds. Austin sits on the ropes until Jake Roberts is #7. The music sounds really different in the big stadium setting. Jake pounds away and works on the arm a bit and hits the short clothesline, but Austin backdrops him out to counter the DDT.

British Bulldog is #8 and immediately takes Austin down. This is part of the Border War which is coming very soon and just like Jake, Smith dominates early on. There’s a slightly different version of the powerslam and Austin is in big trouble. Pierroth from AAA (Mexican company which has supplied all of the luchadores tonight) is #9 and goes right after Bulldog. Apparently he’s a big time heel so people don’t cheer. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the hour and a half of boring wrestling right?

The Sultan (Rikishi) is #10 as the ring is finally getting a crowd going in there. Sultan and Pierroth fight on the ropes as Austin is sent to the apron. Pierroth tries to slam Sultan like an idiot as the match continues to be dull. Mil Mascaras, Mexican legend, is #11. He FINALLY gets a reaction as he beats up on Sultan a bit. Sultan belly to bellies him down and we get some of the legendary no selling from Mascaras. HHH is #12 and there goes Sultan via Bulldog.

We’ve got Austin, Bulldog, Pierroth, HHH and Mascaras in the ring now. Austin hits a middle rope elbow on HHH as Owen Hart (tag team champions with Bulldog at this point) is #13. Austin has to fight both of them off and Bulldog goes out due to an accidental shot from Owen. They were having big problems around this point and it would take the Hart Foundation forming to mend the issues. Goldust is #14 and goes right for Austin instead of HHH, the guy he hates.

Mascaras gets Owen to the apron but can’t get him out. Everyone gangs up on Goldust for no apparent reason and Cibernetico is #15. He goes right for Mascaras and beats the tar out of him. HHH stays on the apron as Marc Mero is #16. Cibernetico is out before Mero gets into the ring and Mascaras puts Pierroth out, before diving off the top to the floor to eliminate himself. Goldust clotheslines HHH out and we’ve got Mero, Austin, Owen and Goldust in the ring at the moment.

Latin Lover, another luchador, is #17. Things are still dull here but at least they’re moving a bit faster. Goldust is eliminated by Owen and Faarooq is #18. He almost immediately puts Lover out and gets in a BIG slugout with Austin. Unfortunately it doesn’t last long as Johnson runs in with a 2×4 to knock Faarooq out. Austin dumps Owen and Mero, leaving himself alone in the ring. Savio Vega, an old rival of Austin, is #19 and doesn’t even make it thirty seconds, although he does hit a good spinwheel kick while he’s in there.

Jesse James (Road Dogg) is #20 and he does quite a bit better than Vega, making it a full 45 seconds before Austin puts him out. Austin is all like GET ME ANOTHER ONE and tells the crowd what they can do to themselves. The clock runs out, and BRET HART walks through that curtain at #21. The look on Austin’s face is absolutely amazing as he is TERRIFIED.

However, there’s something very important that happens next. Austin is scared for a minute, but then gets in the middle of the ring and says BRING IT ON. He’s been out there a long time now and is ready to go still, facing his arch rival who is totally fresh. Austin doesn’t back down, he doesn’t run, he doesn’t cheat. That’s because Austin was a different kind of heel than you see today. Instead of running or finding a way out, he fought with his fists and took a beating like a man. Today it’s all about the cowardly heels and that drives me crazy. Once in awhile is fine but give us somebody with a backbone once in awhile.

They go right at it with Bret getting the better of a tired Austin. He hits a quick atomic drop and a clothesline before stomping away in the corner. There’s the Sharpshooter but we need a #22, so here’s commentator Jerry Lawler. In a hilarious bit, Jerry says “It takes a King….”, then he gets in, gets punched twice by Bret for an elimination, and comes back to commentary and says “to know a King.”

Bret stays on Austin and hits a backbreaker as Fake Diesel (you know him better as Kane) is #23. The good thing here is that Kane actually looks like Diesel from about ten feet away and is nearly identical from behind. Razor looked like a bad Halloween costume. Diesel goes after Hart before slowing down to let Austin do the work. Terry Funk is #24 to give us a very strong lineup in there at the moment. Funk is sent to the apron but Hart makes a save, earning him a punch to the ribs from Terry.

Rocky Maivia is #25 to give us perhaps the best five man lineup ever in the Rumble at any given time. That’s not an exaggeration either. Rocky hooks up with Austin and Diesel but gets kicked in his face for the efforts. The lineup stays strong with Mankind at #26. He immediately throws Funk to the apron as everyone pairs off. Hart gets suplexed by Austin as Rock and Diesel fight in the corner.

There’s a sleeper by Hart to Austin, which makes you wonder why you would EVER put yourself in that position against Austin? A jawbreaker breaks the hold as Flash Funk (2 Cold Scorpio) is #27. Not quite on the level of everyone else but he’s a personal favorite. Terry piledrives Mankind into the ground before Flash dives on Diesel and Terry. Vader is #28 to give us another power guy and he goes right for Bret.

Vader pounds Flash down so Austin goes right after the big man. That would be Vader in case you’re confused. In a funny bit, Lawler keeps implying he’s never been in the match. Henry Godwinn is #29 to drop the talent level a good bit. The ring is filling up now. Rocky gets sent to the apron and Undertaker is #30. The star studded final group: Austin, Bret, Fake Diesel, Terry Funk, Rocky, Mankind, Flash Funk, Vader, Henry Godwinn, Undertaker. That’s REALLY good and I can’t think of any Rumble coming closer to perfect than that.

Taker goes right after Vader but stops to punch Mankind too. There’s a chokeslam for Austin and one for Vader as well. Taker pounds on Diesel in a sign of what is to come later in the year. Vader throws Flash out as Godwinn hammers on Taker. Funk almost puts Hart out but Austin makes the save for no apparent reason. Godwinn pounds on Taker some more, so Taker easily throws him out by the throat.

The final eight: Rock, Austin, Hart, Kane, Undertaker, Terry Funk, Mankind, Vader. How is THAT for a talent pool? Taker throws Austin to the apron before Mankind puts the Claw on Rocky to eliminate him. He was just a rookie at this point so being in there this late was a big accomplishment for him. Mankind and Funk beat on each other because that’s what they love to do. They fight to the apron and Mankind gets Funk out.

Taker sends Mankind out a second later to get us down to five. Vader beats on Taker as Austin does the same to Diesel. Bret throws Austin out to a HUGE pop but the referees were breaking up a fight between Mankind and Funk. Austin slides back in, dumps Vader and Taker, then dumps Bret who just eliminated Diesel, and Austin wins the Rumble!

Rating: B-. This took awhile to get going, but once Bret’s music hit, it’s REALLY good. The problem is that’s 2/3 of the way into the match and the stuff before that is just terrible. It’s a who’s who of jobbers and no names which isn’t interesting at all. This was the night Austin was launched into superstardom and he did it with a bigger catapult than almost anyone else ever. Amazing last twenty five minutes, but the first twenty five or so are absolutely dreadful.

Bret goes nuts on the announcers post match, shouting conspiracy and injustice. Oh I need to get to 1997 Raw. It’s AMAZING when it gets rolling.

We recap Shawn vs. Sid. Sid won the title at Survivor Series and this is the rematch. Sid was on a legit roll at this point, having pinned Shawn and Bret in back to back matches. Shawn is bordering on a massive heel turn here but Sid isn’t quite ready to be a face, which likely has a lot to do with Taker being moved to the main event. Sid has been tormenting the son of Shawn’s mentor Jose Lothario to set this up.

Shawn has the flu and looks horrible in his pre match promo. Not much to say here either. This would wind up being Lothario’s last match in Shawn’s corner.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Sycho Sid

Shawn gets by far and away the pop of the night as the hometown boy. I love Sid’s name in lights pyro entrance. Shawn is shoved down to start until Sid pounds away. Michaels comes back with a cross body and rams Sid’s head into the mat, drawing the longest reaction of the night. Sid heads to the floor for a breather and lays on the mats. Shawn goes after him and is about to be gorilla pressed but he rakes Sid’s eyes to escape.

Back in and Shawn jumps into a powerslam followed by a camel clutch. Sid drops down onto the back and Shawn is in trouble. Shawn avoids the second drop down but Sid comes right back, sending Shawn into the corner for the Flair Flip. Back to the chinlock followed by a clothesline for two. Off to a bearhug which eats up several minutes. Shawn’s parents are concerned. Shawn breaks the hold with an atomic drop but the hold goes right back on. A legdrop gets two for Sid and the champ isn’t getting frustrated at all.

We hit the reverse chinlock again but Shawn fights up with right hands. He slams Sid down and hits the forearm to set up the nip-up. The top rope elbow hits but Shawn is knocked to the floor before the superkick can hit. Shawn gets powerbombed on the floor so Sid grabs both Lotharios. That goes nowhere so Shawn pounds away even more. Dang he popped up fast after that powerbomb.

The referee gets bumped and there’s the chokeslam for two from a second referee. Sid shoves the second referee down and Shawn hits Sid with the camera, which is what Sid did to win the title in the first place. That only gets two though (Lawler: “WOO HOO!”) but Sweet Chin Music gives Shawn the title back.

Rating: C+. Not a great match or anything but it did exactly what it was supposed to do. There was zero chance Shawn was losing here and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. He got by far and away the biggest reactions all night long and it’s as basic of a story as you could ask for. Decent match, especially considering how sick Shawn was. Sid did really well here too, doing exactly what he was supposed to but making it look good.

Shawn celebrates for a LONG time to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show has a solid last forty minutes, but it’s a three hour show, not an hour long show. The year of 1997 was about as bad as it could have gotten for WWF from a business standpoint, but the future was bright. The main thing I want to focus on here though is Austin, as today you would see him get the world title at Mania 13, whereas here they let him simmer for a year. That’s smart business, because while he would have been a successful champion, he wouldn’t have been the juggernaut that he became. Anyway this show was bad, but it does have some bright spots.

Ratings Comparison

HHH vs. Goldust

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Ahmed Johnson vs. Farrooq

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Vader vs. Undertaker

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Hector Garza/Perro Aguayo/El Canek vs. Jerry Estrada/Heavy Metal/Fuerza Guerrera

Original: F

Redo: D

Royal Rumble

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Shawn Michaels vs. Sycho Sid

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: D

That overall rating surprised me. How could I go that high after nearly the same grades leading up to it?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/17/royal-rumble-count-up-1997-bret-hart-uh-make-that-austin/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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