WCW Saturday Night
Date: August 21, 1993
Location: Center Stage Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 750
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

This was my first request via Twitter. I don’t usually do Saturday Night but the few I’ve done have gone pretty well. This is less than a month before Fall Brawl 93 so we have two world titles at the moment. Both champions are in action tonight. One has a squash, and the other has a 40 minute match against the guy who is probably his greatest rival. Let’s get to it.

Also this is three days after Clash of the Champions 24 but it was taped earlier, so we likely won’t hear much about the Clash.

Sid Vicious/Harlem Heat vs. Ron Simmons/2 Cold Scorpio/Marcus Bagwell

Harlem Heat has been around like two weeks at this point. They’re Kane (Stevie) and Kole (Booker) at this point and all three heels are managed by Colonel Parker. This is just after the Heat were changed from prisoners in shackles won by Parker in a card game to street thugs. How did this company not get sued into the ground? Apparently the commentary was recorded after after the Clash or the results were given to Tony and Jesse beforehand.

Booker and Scorpio start things off with Scorpio countering a kick into a fast rollup for two. Off to Bagwell and the arm work begins. The ring is divided into sections, almost like a bunch of gym mats hooked together. Stevie comes in but Bagwell suplexes him over anyway. That’s more power than I was expecting out of him. Bagwell gets caught in a slam but an elbow misses. While the match isn’t that great, the commentary does offer a good line. Jesse: “Why do they call it an Irish Whip? Did someone from Ireland invent it?” Tony: “Uh yeah Jess.”

Off to Simmons to make it power vs. power. Stevie takes him down with a clothesline but Simmons comes back with a botched spinebuster, making it look more like a shove. The heels bail to the floor and things stop for a bit. Sid comes in and wants a test of strength with Simmons, but as any good heel would do, he kicks Simmons in the ribs instead of going through with the test. Ron is cool with that and it’s time to go after the arm. Considering it’s 1993 and this is Sid vs. Scorpio, 2 Cold is dropped face first onto the buckle pretty quickly and the bad guys take over.

The Heat double team Scorpio on the floor with a clothesline and it’s back in to Sid for a one armed chokeslam, which Tony says is like a powerbomb. Off to Booker who yells at the camera a lot and tags Stevie in again. We head to the floor and Scorpio is dropped throat first on the barricade, making him sound like a cat coughing up a hairball. Back in and Scorpio avoids an elbow drop and it’s off to Bagwell. Everything breaks down and Sid powerbombs Bagwell to death for the pin.

Rating: C. Sid was on his way to the world title at this point and it’s pretty easy to see why. He was the perfect kind of monster giant and him vs. Vader could have been an awesome clash of the titans. Then he went insane stabbed Arn Anderson so we got Flair in the main event, which worked out fine. Harlem Heat would wind up being the most successful out of all these guys though, which shows you never know what you’ll get out of wrestlers.

The announcers talk about the Amateur Challenge, which is something kind of sort of like Tough Enough without an actual contest.

The Equalizer vs. Ron Preston

Equalizer is a big guy who would become “famous” as Dave “Evad” Sullivan. Here he’s just a big bad guy who didn’t really equalize anything. We have a two minute match here and about a minute of that is spent in a neck crank. Full nelson ends Preston.

We go to the Fall Brawl Control Center, which is the old way they used to promote the PPVs. Back then, they would actually take time to hype their matches and tell us why we should buy them, as opposed to today when they have both guys beat the other and then hope that gives us enough reason to want to see them fight a third time. We get some clips of past WarGames matches after the host of the segment says the wrong year for when the match started (it was 87, not 88).

Charlie Norris vs. Fury

So if you’ve read my stuff before from this time period, you know that I don’t really like WCW in 1993. Two of the big reasons for that are Equalizer and Charlie Norris. They were both big, strong, and absolutely AWFUL. Norris is an Indian and that’s about it. Norris hooks on an armbar as the match is ignored for the sake of talking about the PPV. In this case, I’m totally fine with that.

Fury, who is apparently part of a tag team called The Wrecking Crew, hits a clothesline and shoulder block before hooking a chinlock. Norris grabs a sunset flip for two before getting suplexed for the same. Back to the chinlock but Norris gets up, goes on the warpath, and hits a big chop for the pin. Fury by the way is Marcus Laurinitis, brother of John and Road Warrior Animal. He never did much of note.

Rating: D-. This was Norris’ Saturday Night debut, which basically would be his national debut. If that’s the case, why in the world would you have him get beaten down this long, and why would you have this match go nearly seven minutes? Like I said, 1993 in WCW was horrible and it would only go downhill from here for Norris.

We see Cactus Jack’s return promo from the Clash, which is him saying he’s back and he wants Vader. He talks about the look in the eyes of wrestlers when they face Vader. They used to look at him like that and he wants to earn that look again. This is another classic Jack promo.

Mike Thor vs. Johnny B. Badd

Badd has been injured recently and is wearing a mask as a result, but tonight he’s removing it. Badd is still at the point where his character is gay but we can’t say he’s gay because it’s 1993 and you can’t do that. Johnny knocks him into the corner to start and then down onto the mat with a headlock. Off to the arm as Jesse tries to figure out what the B. in Badd’s name stands for. After some near falls, Badd takes the mask off and reveals that he’s fine before hitting the big left hand (the Tutti Fruti) for the pin.

Rating: D. This was about four minutes of armdrags and armbars. Badd would get WAY better around 1995 but he was still developing at this point. To be fair, he was a lot better than he was a year before this, as he now had an actual offensive move set outside of the punch. Also, Mike Thor is a good name for an indy guy.

Badd insists he’s still pretty.

Ice Train vs. Rage

This is Train’s debut and he has a guy named Thunderbolt Patterson with him. Fury is the tag partner of Rage from earlier. Nothing match that Train wins in less than a minute with a powerslam. I always liked Ice Train.

Patterson and Train say Train wants to learn and improve.

Big Van Vader vs. JD Stryker

Chokeslam, punch, powerbomb, pin.

Vader, the WCW Champion, and his manager Harley Race, say they don’t care about what happens in the main event. Race wants to talk about WarGames, where Vader is going to destroy everything. A mystery partner is mentioned, who was already revealed to be the Shockmaster.

So we have almost fifty minutes to go in the show and this is all we have left.

NWA World Title: Sting vs. Ric Flair

I know why this was requested. This is one of those matches that is nearly impossible to screw up and you start at a higher rating than the usual. It’s not about will the match be good but how good will it be. A quick shoulder takes Flair down as Tony talks about the history of these two, without mentioning the original Clash for some reason. Sting wins a battle of a hammerlock as Tony messes up the date of the original Clash (he says April, it was March 27).

Sting controls with a wristlock on the champion (Flair has the belt coming in) and we’re still in the feeling out process here. Flair tries a Figure Four out of nowhere but Sting escapes before he gets close. Things speed up but they botch the gorilla press spot. Sting doesn’t panic though and throws on a chinlock, which is probably the best thing they could do in that situation. Now the press slam hits and Flair goes to the apron.

A suplex back in puts Flair down and there’s a Boston Crab. Flair taps but it doesn’t mean anything yet so he gets a rope and bails to the floor instead. Back in and Flair goes to the eyes before chopping away in the corner. Say it with me: those don’t work on Sting. A half crab works on Flair’s back again, followed by another gorilla press for two. Sting hooks an abdominal stretch and the champ is in trouble.

As is his custom, Sting misses the Splash in the corner and Sting gets his second wind. They head to the floor but Flair tries a piledriver and gets backdropped instead. Flair begs off in a corner and suckers Sting in like only Flair can do. Sting gets thrown to the floor but it just ticks him off. Flair fires off the chops but, say it with me, THOSE DON’T WORK ON STING.

The champ begs off again and walks to the floor for a breather. Back in and Tony calls Sting Steamboat before Sting misses a splash on the top rope, clotheslining himself. There’s the knee drop to the head from Flair and the champ has his third wind. I don’t know what it is about them but Flair does some of the best snapmares ever. Flair rolls up Sting about six times in a row, all for two.

Ric is in full heel mode despite being a face coming in. A cover with the foot on the ropes gets one and a suplex gets about twelve. We take a break and come back to Sting making a comeback. During the break Sting rolled through a top rope cross body by Flair for two. Both guys are down for a bit before Flair hits a belly to back suplex for another few two counts. He must have had seventeen near falls so far.

Flair goes up top…..and the forearm off the top actually connects. You never know what you’ll find in these old shows. A sunset flip gets two for Sting as does a backslide. There’s the Flair Flip in the corner and down to the floor he goes. Flair pokes him in the eye and goes up, only to get slammed down. It wouldn’t be a Flair match if that spot hadn’t happened. A clothesline gets a few two counts for Sting and he clotheslines Flair to the floor.

They head to the outside and Flair chops him against the railing. Even on the floor, THOSE DON’T WORK ON STING. Back in and Flair backs off again and Sting escapes a suplex into an O’Connor Roll for two. Flair pokes him in the eye and there’s the Figure Four (complete with a Whomp There It Is chant from the audience for no apparent reason). That finally gets turned over but Flair gets the rope.

Sid comes out to the commentary desk for no apparent reason as Sting gets a small package for two but the knee is in big trouble. Sid says this should be his title match and talks about bees. Flair chops him again because at times he really isn’t that bright. The gorilla press hits and a bulldog puts Flair down. Another small package gets two for Sting as does an atomic drop.

Probably the fourth gorilla press puts Flair down but the splash hits knees. Sting comes back with a clothesline and puts the Figure Four on Flair. Flair gets the rope and they trade rollups for two again. For the fifth time the chops don’t work on Sting so he superplexes Flair down. Eventually that gets two and gorilla press #5 puts Flair down again. Flair cross bodies Sting to the floor and both guys are down. Sid sneaks in and sends Sting into the barricade to give Flair the win by countout.

Rating: B+. This is one of those matches that it’s pretty much impossible to get wrong. They were getting pretty repetitive at the end though, with way too many rollups and gorilla presses. The first half of the match was great though with Flair trying to get Sting to use energy and Sting working on the back to set up the Scorpion. The ending kind of sucks but they couldn’t put either guy over clean here so I can certainly live with that.

Flair freaks out on Sid but Harlem Heat runs in before there can be another fight. Sting saves Flair and they knock Sid to the floor.

Post break Flair and Sting say that sucked but they’ll get Sid and the Heat later.

Overall Rating: B. It’s a two hour show and 1/3 of that is Sting vs. Flair for forty minutes. The rest of the show was standard 1993 WCW nonsense that no one wanted to see, but for free TV on their flagship show, this was pretty awesome stuff at the end. I don’t have anything else to say: it’s Flair vs. Sting for forty minutes. That sums everything up.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Halloween Havoc 1992
Date: October 25, 1992
Location: Philadelphia Civic Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

Tonight is about Spinning the Wheel and therefore making the deal. The main event is Jake Roberts vs. Sting in a feud that I’m not sure anyone ever quite got. The idea is that you have 12 gimmicks on a wheel and whatever it lands on is the stipulation. In other words, it’s Raw Roulette. Other than that we have Ron Simmons defending against The Barbarian of all people. It was an odd time to say the least. Let’s get to it.

The opening video has the usual haunted house theme.

Tony and Bruno Sammartino do some hosting/analysis stuff.

The twelve matches on the wheel are:

Texas Bull Rope

Spinner’s Choice

Russian Chain

Dog Collar

I Quit

Barbed Wire

Cage

Lumberjack With Belts

Prince Of Darkness

Texas Death

Coal Miner’s Glove

First Blood

We get a video of Cactus Jack training Barbarian for the powerslam. That’s different.

Terry Gordy isn’t here so Steve Austin is teaming with Steve Williams in the tag title match.

Rick Rude has to wrestle twice tonight. Missy Hyatt says nothing of note about that but says she’ll vote for Jesse Ventura for president. Ok then.

Z-Man/Johnny Gunn/Shane Douglas vs. Arn Anderson/Michael Hayes/Bobby Eaton

This should be good. Gunn is more famous as Tom Brandi. So we have three guys who are young and muscular vs. a heat machine and two wrestling masters. We’re in Philadelphia. You can fill in the blanks yourselves. Gunn and Anderson start things off with Anderson pounding him into the corner. Gunn comes back with a bad dropkick and Z-Man hits one of his own. The good guys clear the ring and get booed out of the building.

Z-Man comes in legally and cranks on Arn’s arm until Bobby comes in to take over. Eaton pops him with a right hand and the place ERUPTS. Off to Hayes who gets cheered too because he’s the king of playing to a crowd. Shane comes in to work on Michael’s arm and is booed in the process, which isn’t something you would ever expect to see in Philly. Back to Eaton who is armdragged down immediately.

Eaton takes Shane into the corner and pops him with a right hand too, but he gets promptly taken down by a flying headscissors. Back to Z-Man who these people just hate. He hooks a leg bar as Jesse rants about Shane probably being a right wing Republican. Z-Man hooks a sleeper on Anderson but it’s quickly countered. Back to Hayes who pounds away and hooks a chinlock on Zenk. Eaton comes in but leaves quickly with a blind tag to Arn.

Anderson KILLS Z-Man with a clothesline and the place erupts again. Even Jesse is stunned by this and he doesn’t stun easily. Hayes hooks a rear chinlock but Zenk slams him into the mat to escape. Double tag brings in Shane vs. Anderson but Eaton cheap shots Douglas in the knee to stop the comeback, again getting a pop from the audience. Eaton drops a top rope knee drop onto the knee and hooks a Figure Four (with help from Hayes of course). Shane turns it over and atomic drops Anderson, but they hit heads. Hot tag to Gunn and everything breaks down with Gunn hitting a Thesz Press to pin Hayes. The booing is great.

Rating: C+. If this has been ANYWHERE other than Philadelphia, this would have been an excellent opener. I can’t say the fans turned on the good guys because they were never on their side in the first place. You had to know this was coming if you knew anything about the city, but the match itself was fine. Jesse’s reactions to the crowd were entertaining too as he sounded genuinely surprised.

Harley Race says Missy Hyatt can’t talk to Rick Rude. Smart man. Race isn’t supposed to be here apparently.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Brian Pillman

This should be awesome. Pillman is a heel here and would hook up with Steve Austin soon. The fans have no problem cheering for Steamboat so the crowd is back to normal. Steamboat chops him to start and hits a shoulder for two. Pillman throws him over the ropes but that doesn’t work on the Dragon. Steamboat plays possum and rams Pillman’s face into the mat to take over. Dragon busts out the armdrag/bar combination and takes over.

Pillman gets backdropped and slammed a few times, so he pokes Steamboat in the eyes to take over. See? Being evil does pay off. Steamboat is like screw this getting beaten up and chokes Pillman over his head. Brian blasts him in the back of the head when Steamboat has his back turned to take over. The headscissors gets two for Pillman and he chokes away a bit on the ropes. The Dragon blocks a superplex but jumps into a dropkick for two.

Pillman is getting frustrated because he can’t put Steamboat down so Ricky hits a Russian legsweep to put both guys down. There’s a sleeper and the Dragon is in trouble. Steamboat falls into the corner to ram Brian’s head into the buckle to escape. Pillman starts running but he catches Steamboat coming back in with a knee lift. A cross body off the middle rope gets two for Pillman. Steamboat goes up and hits a top rope sunset flip for two. Pillman counters but Steamboat counters the counter into a sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: B. This is what you call a fast paced wrestling match between a talented face and a talented heel. To put it short, the idea worked. They worked very well together as you would expect them too, with both guys looking crisp the whole way through and the crowd reacting well to it. Good stuff here indeed.

Masahiro Chono, the NWA World Champion, selects Kensuke Sasaki as his guest referee. Harley Race will be the other one. Wait so why was it surprising to see him earlier?

Bill Watts has some announcements. Terry Gordy has been fired for breech of contract and Steve Austin will be replacing him in the tag title match tonight. Also Rick Rude has whined too much so Vader will substitute for him in the US Title defense.

US Title: Nikita Koloff vs. Vader

Rude is the actual champion but Vader is subbing for him. This is No DQ. Rude comes out too but doesn’t stick around. Race gets thrown out too. Vader hits him in the face and Koloff doesn’t really move. They slug it out a lot and Vader splashes him to take over. A HARD clothesline takes Koloff down as does a headbutt. Koloff is sent to the floor but comes back with some power offense of his own. He hits a crossbody to the back for two which is a move I’ve never seen before.

Off to a chinlock which goes on for a good while. JR talks about a thirty minute time limit and I can’t help but chuckle. Can you imagine these two going half an hour against each other? Vader finally breaks it but gets cradled for two. Koloff hits another cross body of all things for two. He’s not the kind of guy I would expect to use that but he’s the speed guy in this when you think about it.

Vader rolls to the floor to stall and then does it a few more times. Koloff finally has enough and goes out after him, but the Sickle hits the post and Nikita is in trouble. Back in and Vader goes into mauling mode, running over Koloff and sending him to the floor. There’s a HARD chair shot (remember that it’s no DQ) and we go back in where the powerbomb retains the title for Rude.

Rating: D. You know considering this was No DQ, there was a total of one thing that would fit that gimmick. They flew through this and I can see why they clipped it on the VHS. The full version was about three times as long and it wasn’t anything better. Koloff more or less disappeared after this.

Steve Williams is glad to have Austin as his new partner.

Tag Titles: Steve Williams/Steve Austin vs. Barry Windham/Dustin Rhodes

Windham and Rhodes are defending here. This is actually the Unified Tag Titles but who cares about stuff like that? This was supposed to be the rubber match with Barry/Dustin vs. the MVC but Gordy is gone. Austin is in purple here which is a weird thing to see. Williams (as in the person using his real name unlike Austin whose last name is also Williams) starts with Dustin and it’s time to talk about football.

Appropriately enough they get down in three point stances and collide but the second time Williams suckers him into a clothesline to take over. Dustin clotheslines him down as well before hooking on a wristlock. Off to Barry who is having problems with his partner at this point. It’s power vs. speed here with the speed of Windham taking over in the form of an armbar. Williams armdrags him right into the corner of Rhodes and there’s a tag.

They fight over a wristlock with neither guy being able to take over for the most part. The fans chant for Flair (I think) and it’s off to Austin, who hits a dropkick to take over on the incoming Windham. While in purple. Imagine that one. Austin gets caught between the champions like a pinball and is knocked to the floor. Back in and Dustin hooks a headlock on the mat.

Jesse talks about his time in the East West Connection and how he and Adonis didn’t get along outside the ring but they did in the ring. See, back in the day wrestlers who became commentators actually TALKED ABOUT THEIR CAREERS and used those stories to make points about the matches they’re commentating on. It’s not that hard. Austin works on the leg but it doesn’t do that well.

Rhodes charges into a boot but he comes right back with a lariat to take over and get two. Windham comes in with another clothesline for another two and the same off a suplex. Back to Doc who is taken down immediately. They slug it out but Windham misses a charge and lands on the floor. Back to the future Rattlesnake as the challengers take over. Suplex gets two.

Williams comes back in and charges into a quickly broken sleeper. He ties Barry up on the floor in a hold and brings in Austin. Austin works on the arm with a hammerlock slam and it’s back to Dr. Death. Powerslam gets two as JR sounds like he wants to marry Williams. This is nothing new but it’s a bit more pronounced here. Williams breaks a chinlock with a jawbreaker but Williams brings Austin in to prevent the tag.

Barry breaks up a superplex and hits a middle rope lariat for two. Hot tag to Dustin and he cleans house with rapid fire elbows to the head. Bulldog takes Austin down but Williams makes the save. Dustin’s rush of offense is stopped cold and the challengers take over again. A corner splash puts him down again and there’s a Boston Crab. That gets followed by a body vice from Austin but even an interfering Windham can’t break it.

Dustin uses the ropes to get free and we get the always cool back bridge into the backslide for two. Dustin tries to come back against Williams but Dr. Death just casually takes him down with an amateur move. Austin and Rhodes slug it out and the future bald one takes over. Big shock right? Rhodes is busted and Williams goes after it like a maniac. That’s another fitting action for him.

Off to a chinlock from Austin which is one of the first rest holds of the match so far. An elbow misses though and Rhodes gets a small package for two. Williams hooks a chinlock as we have five minutes left. Austin drops a double ax with four to go. He hooks a half crab which is kind of stupid at this point. Dustin gets taken down again at three minutes left but the challengers don’t seem all that interested in going for the kill. Windham gets the tag but the referee doesn’t see it.

There goes the referee and it’s time for a replacement. Williams hits a clothesline for the pin on Windham out of nowhere….but he’s not legal so it’s a Dusty Finish. Dustin pins Williams but he’s not legal either. There’s the lariat to Austin for two. Everything breaks down and we have a minute left. Dustin tombstones Austin with 30 seconds to go but both guys are down. Time runs out with them all standing around which is odd but the rest of it was awesome so I’m cool with it.

Rating: B+. I really liked that ending sequence with the false finish because it was the right call from a rules standpoint. The rest of it was really good as it was an extended formula tag match from four guys who were all very talented. This worked quite well and thankfully the MVC was gone forever. Williams and Rhodes would lose the titles to Steamboat and Douglas less than a month after this.

We go to Vader/Race/Dangerously with Paul taking credit for all of the success tonight. He takes credit for everything until Madusa shows up. She thanks everyone but Dangerously for winning the world title (which I guess is coming later). Dangerously goes OFF on her, talking about how HE is the one that did everything and it’s because he’s a man.

Madusa is just a woman and there is beneath him and subservient. She’s been there to take care of Rude’s needs but she was only hired for that because the other hooker was busy. He fires her from the Alliance and jumps in the air, so she hits a high kick to the face and DESTROYS HIM as even Vader and Race run away. The place ERUPTS and Jesse is freaking out. This was awesome in so many ways.

Sting comes out to spin the wheel and it lands on a Coal Miner’s Glove match. Why? My guess would be a gas leak in the WCW offices. This is one of those moments in WCW where you just shake your head and facepalm, because that is probably the worst possible choice they could have made. Somehow this took four minutes.

NWA World Title: Rick Rude vs. Masahiro Chono

Harley Race and Kensuke Sasake are guest referees here. Now these two had a masterpiece in Japan in a tournament final where Chono won the title, so this has potential. If you know anything about WCW in 1992, you should know what that means. Madusa comes out with Rude, making him the face after that previous segment. Oh and Chono is defending here. Race, Rude’s selection, will be refereeing inside the ring. That took about three minutes to decide.

This match serves as another great example of what was wrong with the NWA. Chono is a great wrestler. I don’t think anyone that knows what they’re talking about is going to dispute that. Chono is 29 here and in the prime of his career. That being said, I’d be surprised if more than 3% of the audience watching this show knew who he was. From what I can find, this is his first televised singles match EVER in WCW. I mean, the match had been hyped on TV and all that, but the fans are just supposed to buy into this guy as the world champion without EVER seeing him wrestle? That’s never going to work.

The fans want Flair before we get going. Rude talks trash….in English. Jesse: “He’s from Minnesota. All Minnesotans speak Japanese as a second language.” Feeling out process to start and they fight over a hammerlock. Chono takes him to the mat and the rest holds begin. The first one is an armbar which eats up a minute or so. Rude comes back with a slam and some elbows for two.

Chono gets up and slams Rude down and we hit an armbar. And then we stay in the armbar. There has to be something going on behind the scenes here. I mean think about it: how can these guys go from having a classic (and it was a classic) to being this BORING? Clearly they know how to have an exciting match and they work pretty well together, but this is just LONG stretches of them laying on the mat in a hold that isn’t going to get a submission and that bores the audience to death.

Now Rude comes back and hits some right hands, which are the most interesting part of the match so far. Jesse says Rude is shaved so he could drop weight. Ventura is trying but man alive there’s only so much he can do. We hit the chinlock as things slow right back down. Chono comes back and takes Rude right to the mat for an STF (finisher) attempt, but Rude blocks. Instead Chono just uses the leg part and things get boring again. Imagine Cena prepping for the STF for two minutes. See how the fans could get bored REALLY fast?

We’re fifteen minutes into this. Read back through the description. Does that sound like fifteen minutes worth of action? Rude piledrives him but Chono gets a foot on the ropes. Rude, likely out of boredom, fires off some more fight and WE HIT THE CHINLOCK AGAIN. JR is so bored that he’s talking about Rude’s arm wrestling career. If that chinlock isn’t your cup of tea, here’s a sleeper instead.

At least in this one the fans (including Hat Guy in the front row) are looking at a fight in the stands so they’re not missing anything. This would be opposed to the rest of the match when the fans aren’t missing anything while looking at the match. We hit twenty minutes as Jesse talks about Ben Franklin winning the world title against Thomas Jefferson back in 1796 in a 2/3 falls match. Rude shifts to a headlock but misses a top rope dropkick. Chono accidentally charges into Race and knocks him to the floor. He sends Rude into the corner where Rude lands on both referees…..and that’s a DQ. Rude hits the Awakening but it doesn’t count.

Rating: T. As in THIS is why the NWA died around this time. We had a boring match with a guy that no one cared about with a bogus ending. Why am I supposed to care about this match? Neither guy was impressive at all and the match brought down what had been a good show so far. Just awful here.

Post match there’s an argument over who wins by DQ. Sasaki beats up Race.

We look at Cactus Jack training Barbarian for the world title match. This would consist of having Barbarian on all fours with cinder blocks on his back. Jack breaks them with a sledgehammer. This is in the montage used on Are You Serious.

WCW World Title: Barbarian vs. Ron Simmons

Yeah it’s THAT Barbarian. See, for some reason WCW decided that the big names should go after the NWA Title while the WCW Title was treated like a midcard title. Simmons has a HUGE entourage bringing him to the ring. Barbarian is a Jack surrogate as Cactus is injured. They stare each other down forever and feel each other out before Barbarian pounds him down in the corner. Simmons comes back and Barbarian bails to the floor.

Barbarian gets a Stunner over the top rope to take over again and sends Ron to the floor. No one cares about this match at all and I can almost guarantee they’re not going to get the fans to care based on how good (and I use that word loosely) the match will be. Barbarian rams him into the post and then into the railing as this is already dragging less than five minutes in.

Back in and Ron hits the absolute worst sunset flip of all time for two. Barbie hooks a LONG cobra clutch which looks more like an armpit claw but whatever. A top rope elbow misses and Simmons gets a chance to breathe. They slug it out but Simmons channels the power of football to hit a bad spinebuster for two. Simmons misses a clothesline but Barbarian sells it anyway.

There’s a three point shoulder block but Jack has the referee. Barbarian kicks him in the back of the head and sends him to the floor as a result. Back in and Simmons is nice enough to roll three feet to the left so that the top rope headbutt can hit. Once that gets two, Barbarian’s chances are done. Simmons grabs a powerslam out of nowhere for the pin to retain.

Rating: F. The Barbarian just co-main evented a show. This was treated like a worthless match and to be fair, there was good reason to do that. It came off like a bad main event of a C level TV show, which goes a long way to explain the troubles this company was having around this time. Just awful here.

Sting, Bruno and Erik Watts talk about the match we just sat through.

Sting vs. Jake Roberts

Coal Miner’s Glove match, which means there’s a loaded glove on a pole. Jake uses some VERY generic rock music which would later be used by Big Bubba and had previously been used by Austin. This is non-sanctioned and Sting is just MAD over. The story here is Roberts jumped him and laid Sting out so this is revenge. Sting controls early as Roberts stalls. Sting misses a dropkick and Jake goes after the back.

They go to the floor and Jake’s arm goes into the post. Sting goes for the glove (which is about 12 feet above the ring) but Jake makes the save and hits a suplex. Jake sends him to the floor but his attempt at getting the glove results in him being crotched. Sting works on the injured arm for a bit and they head outside again. Jake hits him in the back with a chair and chokes with tape back in the ring.

This match really isn’t working either as they’re basically having a regular match, albeit very rushed. That doesn’t make me think this is a blood feud or all about revenge or anything close to it really. Jake misses a running knee lift but the Stinger Splash misses too. Jake uses the bad arm for the DDT but Sting comes as close to no selling as you can while still selling. Sting does a cool move where he swings around the pole to knock Jack down. Cactus runs out with Jake’s cobra as Sting gets the glove. Sting knocks the snake onto Jake’s face where it “bites” him, allowing Sting to get the win.

Rating: F. As I said, the glove meant nothing here as it had to be the dumbest possible gimmick they could have gone with. Jake would basically be gone after this and wouldn’t be seen in mainstream American wrestling again until 1996. This was absolutely awful though and the ending was so stupid that I can’t really believe I saw it. Keep this in mind when you’re at work: someone was paid to think of this idea.

To give you an idea of how REAL that bite is, Jake pulls the snake away, looks at it, and puts it right back to where it was “biting” him. That’s like something out of a parody of a bad horror movie. Jake is “poisoned”.

We get about four minutes of wrap up to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I’ve heard of shows going off a cliff before, but this went off a cliff, through the ground and landed in the ocean somewhere. The last three matches are just DREADFUL, combining to be almost an hour with the best match somehow being Simmons vs. Barbarian, which was long and dull. WCW in 1992 has a reputation and if you watch this show, you can see why. The tag match is really good and the Steamboat vs. Pillman match is solid, but other than that there’s NOTHING here other than more reasons to never think about WCW in 1992 after Beach Blast.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Halloween Havoc 1991
Date: October 27, 1991
Location: UTC Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 8,900
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

We’re a year after the not very scary Halloween Havoc 1990 and now we move on to the much scarier 1991 version. Tonight we have Lex Luger, the now heel world champion, facing Ron Simmons. Other than that we have a guy here called the Halloween Phantom, who is a new star debuting tonight. Well new to WCW at least. The reveal is pretty awesome though. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of a haunted house with ghostly images of wrestlers superimposed over it.

We open up outside with Eric Bischoff acting as a kind of greeter I guess. Cactus Jack and Abdullah show up with the Butcher in a tie. DDP and Diamond Studd (Scott Hall) arrive. Dustin Rhodes and Barry Windham show up but the Enforcers (Larry Zbyszko and Arn Anderson) come up and crush Barry’s hand in the car door, which puts him out of his match later tonight. I think Barry was legit hurt and this is how they wrote him off TV for awhile.

Cactus Jack/Abdullah The Butcher/Diamond Studd/Big Van Vader vs. Steiner Brothers/El Gignate/Sting

Oh boy it’s the Chamber of Horrors. Now if you’ve never heard of this, clear some room off your list of absurd gimmicks. This is inside a cage similar to the Cell, although there’s no top on it and the holes in the cage are bigger. Inside are coffins, skeletons and a few weapons. The idea of the match is that everyone is fighting at once and at some point during the match, an electric chair will lower from the ceiling. Someone must be placed in the chair, strapped down and someone from the other team has to throw a switch, “electrocuting” them. And somehow, it’ll be even dumber than it sounds.

Oh and Gigante is replacing the injured Windham and Cactus is replacing Oz, although Oz will be in a match later and apparently Oz replaced Jack in that match. No idea why they made the switch. Jack comes out with a chainsaw minus the chain. Sting is US Champion here and yes, this is really what they’re using him for. Cactus jumps Sting on the ramp and Abdullah helps, but Rick comes out for the save. This is before we’re even in the cage. Well Rick was but he left because it’s just a cage so why should it be hard to stay inside?

In the ring Scott kills the Studd with a Tiger Driver while Gigante fights Vader. Sting gets a kendo stick to pound away on everyone he sees. Well everyone that isn’t on his team that is. Or the referee either. Speaking of the referee, he has a camera on his head here which is really more annoying than anything else. That could be an interesting idea for an angle but it never went anywhere.

People in masks pop out of those caskets. They don’t do anything but they pop out anyway. Sting clotheslines Vader to the floor and Gigante pulls Studd off of the cage wall. The Steiners hit their top rope DDT on Cactus as the chair is lowered. Vader knocks Rick into the chair but Rick clotheslines his way out of it. Sting throws a casket lid up in the air so it lands on Cactus’ head.

Now we have ghouls coming out with a stretcher. Again they don’t do anything but they’re there. Scott shatters a kendo stick over Cactus’ head, breaking him open. Cactus and Sting climb the cage and ram each other into it, which is one of the few actual clear brawls in the match. The rest of it is too hard to call because of the awful camera work. Sting has the stick now and stabs Hall with it.

It’s pretty much impossible to call this match as everything is all over the place and it’s just random brawling. Sting is busted open, as is Abdullah. Cactus goes for the switch as Rick is put in the chair, but the future Freakzilla makes the save. The heels get Rick into the chair for a second but he fights out of it pretty quickly. He gets put in there again and Cactus goes for the switch. Steiner suplexes Abdullah into the chair instead and after Cactus takes FOREVER to stand next to the switch, he throws the lever and Abdullah gets “electrocuted.”

Rating: W. As in wow, what were they smoking, or why. You can pick whichever you like and I think it’ll be fine. This was a huge mess but to me, this is pure nostalgia. I haven’t seen this match in years but I still remember about 80% of the commentary word for word. The match is terrible and incredibly stupid but it’s a fond memory for me so I can’t hate it.

Cactus checks on Abdullah post match but the Butcher gets up and beats up the ghouls that brought out the stretcher earlier.

Eric and Missy (Dracula/showgirl) debate who the Phantom is. The Young Pistols don’t care who it is. They want the US Tag Titles and are heels now.

Big Josh/PN News vs. The Creatures

The Creatures are generic masked guys, one of which is Joey Maggs and the other is Johnny Rich, the latter of which you don’t need to know. Josh is a wilderness guy and News is a fat white guy in lime green that raps. Josh starts with let’s say Creature #1. The Creatures double team Josh but it’s off to News to clean house. The fat man hits a dropkick followed by using the power of fat in the corner. Back to Josh for a bit before News comes in to miss a splash. Instead of the Creatures taking over, it’s back to Josh. Josh runs them over, hits the Northern Exposure (Earthquake) and a top rope splash from News pins #1.

Rating: F+. Another bad match here but without the fun levels of the previous one. The Creatures were never seen again of course and the other two didn’t go anywhere other than to comedy land. I really need to get back to modern wrestling where the filler matches at least have a point at times.

Terrance Taylor vs. Bobby Eaton

This should be good. Taylor slaps him around to start so Eaton offers him a free shot. Eaton is the face here and it’s still York Foundation time for Taylor. He takes Eaton down with an armdrag but the second one is countered. Bobby speeds things up and Taylor bails to the floor. They go to the floor and Eaton is sent into the barricade, but he backdrops Taylor over the railing and into the crowd for a second.

Back in and Taylor tries to hide. Eaton blasts him with a right hand for two and it’s off to a hammerlock. Rooster Boy gets out with a jawbreaker and they go to the ramp. Eaton slams him down and hits a knee/splash off the top to crush Taylor. Back in and Taylor sends him through the ropes and into the barricade again. Taylor uses the break to go over to the computer and York for more assistance.

The solution is apparently a corner clothesline followed by a knee drop for two. They head to the ramp again and Eaton is put down by a gutwrench powerbomb. Eaton slowly gets back in and takes a top rope splash for two. We hit the chinlock which is broken somewhat quickly but a knee to the ribs stops it dead. Taylor gets some more computer advice and apparently is willing to settle for the countout.

That doesn’t work and Bobby comes off the top with a sunset flip for two. Off to a reverse chinlock by Taylor but Eaton comes out of it with a jawbreaker, just like Taylor did to him earlier. Taylor’s Vader Bomb hits knees and it’s time for Bobby’s comeback. He pounds away in the corner and suplexes Taylor down for two. A swinging neckbreaker puts Terry down but Eaton goes up and gets crotched. Taylor’s superplex is broken up and Eaton hits the Alabama Jam for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a great back and forth match. It’s amazing how much more bearable Taylor is when he isn’t acting like a bird. The computer gimmick got annoying after awhile but having him wrestle straight worked pretty well. This wasn’t quite a masterpiece but it was a very solid sixteen minute match and a nice change of pace.

Jimmy Garvin vs. Johnny B. Badd

Michael Hayes is here but he has a bad arm. Johnny is gay here but we can’t say gay so we call him “very flamboyant.” Teddy Long is still in the ring when the bell rings. They speed things up to start and Badd is sent to the floor. Back in the ring and Garvin (who is apparently a face here which I hadn’t picked up on until now) runs him over with a forearm to send Badd back outside.

Garvin works over the arm but Badd pounds away with fists. He chokes off a Teddy distraction and uses some very basic offense. A flying sunset flip is mostly messed up and it gets two. A top rope elbow gets two. Garvin dumps him over the top and nothing happens out there. Back in and they collide but Garvin beats him to his feet. The DDT hits but Teddy has the referee. The left hooks from Badd gets the pin.

Rating: D-. This really didn’t work at all. Badd was still very green at this point and it was clear that he wasn’t ready for a spot like this. Garvin was old and not very good either, although he never quite was anything special in the ring. This was supposed to be a showcase match for Badd but it came off as more boring than anything else. Badd would get WAY better in a few years though.

Missy harasses Bobby Eaton about who the Phantom is and when he doesn’t know, she whines. Was she supposed to be adorable or something?

TV Title: Steve Austin vs. Dustin Rhodes

Dustin is challenging. JR says that if he was starting a company, he would pick Steve Austin as his #1 draft pick. See why people say he knows his stuff? Rhodes takes him down quickly but Austin runs to the ropes to hide. A shoulder puts Dustin down and a clothesline does the same to Austin. They go to the mat and Dustin’s grandparents are here apparently.

They keep going back and forth with basic stuff until Dustin clotheslines him to the floor. That again isn’t a DQ for whatever reason. Either way we get to see Lady Blossom’s rocking cleavage for a bit so it’s not a bad thing at all. Back in and Austin suplexes him down for two. Dustin’s bulldog is countered so he settles for a headlock takeover instead. Austin finally counters into a headscissors as things slow way down.

Back up and they run the ropes a bit, but Dustin misses a cross body and crashes out to the floor. Somewhere in there Dustin got busted open badly. Austin pounds away on it and hits a gutwrench suplex for two back in the ring. It’s amazing how different Austin is back here. He’s a mat wrestler who barely ever throws a punch. Off to a chinlock and the cameraman cuts over to Lady Blossom and the camera pans down to her chest in a shot that I don’t think was supposed to be seen on the broadcast.

The clock is winding down as we have less than four minutes to go and Dustin is in trouble. They trade small packages and Dustin takes him down with a clothesline, getting two. Lady Blossom (who is a dead ringer for Debra) slaps Dustin in the face but Austin’s charge misses. A second lariat gets two as Austin gets his foot on the rope. Back to the floor and Austin goes into the post with less than two minutes left. Powerslam gets two for the Natural as does the Bionic Elbow with a minute left. Austin is reeling with 30 seconds to go. Dustin goes up and hits a top rope lariat for two as the bell rings.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty good match although the ending was pretty obvious. Austin would hold that title for the better part of a year before trading it with Barry Windham and Ricky Steamboat. Having these fifteen minute matches with other talented guys had a lot to do with Austin becoming one of the best in ring workers ever. This was solid stuff.

Bill Kazmaier vs. Oz

Oz doesn’t have the big elaborate entrance anymore. Kazmaier was a legit World’s Strongest Man, having won the official competition three times in the 80s. He comes to the ring with an Earth shaped balloon on his back. This was supposed to be Cactus Jack vs. Kaz but Jack wanted to be in the cage. This is power vs. size and less power with the shorter guy dominating early. They do a test of strength and Big Sexy (Oz is Nash if you were one of the handful of people that didn’t know that) takes over. A belly to back suplex gets two for Oz. Kaz skins the cat, hits a shoulder block and wins with a torture rack.

Rating: D. Whatever man. This was just a quick match to I believe end the Oz character, or at least put another bullet into it. Once they realized how dumb the thing was they dropped it and turned him into Vinnie Vegas which was way more appropriate for him anyway. Kazmaier never did anything and retired in January of the following year.

Van Hammer vs. Doug Somers

Van Hammer has only been here about a month and we’re still in the squash period for him. Somers is yet another replacement, in this case taking the place of the injured Michael Hayes. The match barely breaks a minute and Hammer wins with a slingshot suplex.

Brian Pillman says he wants the Light Heavyweight Title more than anything.

Richard Morton, part of the York Foundation, says this is the first of many titles for the Foundation.

Light Heavyweight Title: Brian Pillman vs. Richard Morton

This is a tournament final to crown a first ever champion. Nick Patrick has that stupid head camera on again. Morton keeps running from Pillman which probably isn’t that bad of an idea. Brian slams him down and hits a spinwheel kick to send Morton out to the floor. Back in and Pillman goes to the middle rope for a double ax followed by taking it to the mat with a series of headlocks.

A good example of why the referee camera is stupid: Pillman has him down and all we can see is his arm going down. Why would I want to see that? Pillman throws Morton around with armdrags and then it’s back to the headlock. O’Connor Roll gets two for Brian. Morton works on the arm…..and keeps working on the arm…..then works on the arm some more. It’s all the same hold so this is taking forever.

Pillman finally fights up and we go to a wide shot of the crowd instead of focusing on the match. A clothesline puts Morton down and the fans aren’t all that impressed. An enziguri puts Morton down as does a backdrop. Pillman fires off some chops and they collide, sending both guys out to the floor. Pillman has his shoulder rammed into the post and he’s in trouble. Not that it matters though as they go back in and the top rope cross body gives Pillman the title.

Rating: D. This was REALLY boring. Morton isn’t used to being on offense and it’s easy to see that he’s out of practice. There’s a reason that the face getting the tar kicked out of him is called playing Ricky Morton. The title never went anywhere and would be retired in about a year. It would be resurrected in about four years and have its name changed to the Cruiserweight Title, which would work a little bit better.

Z-Man vs. WCW Halloween Havoc Phantom

He looks like the Phantom of the Opera and comes out to the theme from the movie/musical of the same name. The announcers think they know they guy’s style but they can’t place it. A neckbreaker gets the pin in less than a minute and a half. Tony says the name of the finisher, complete with the name of the person using it and the identity of the Phantom, but I’ll save the surprise for later.

Tag Titles: Enforcers vs. Patriots

The Enforcers are defending and are Arn Anderson and Larry Zbyszko. The Patriots are Todd Champion and Firebreaker Chip and are also the US Tag Champions, but their titles aren’t on the line here. For the sake of simplicity, if I say champions here, I only will be referring to the Enforcers. Chip, who looks like he has an entire steroid store inside him, hooks a quick abdominal stretch but Larry escapes.

Zbyszko is getting frustrated so he brings in Anderson. Off to the much taller Todd Champion but Anderson punches him down with ease. Todd gets sent to the apron but he low bridges Anderson to the floor, which again isn’t a DQ. Back in the ring and Anderson gets caught in a bearhug but Larry breaks it up. Everything breaks down and the Enforcers are knocked to the floor.

Larry comes in to face Todd and guess what Larry does. Just take a guess. After running from Todd he makes a blind tag to Anderson who dumps Todd to the floor. Larry rams him into the barricade to take over and the Patriots are in trouble. Anderson puts a knee into the chest and it’s back to Larry. Neckbreaker gets two. Todd pounds on Anderson but Arn makes a blind tag to bring Larry back in. Larry gets caught in a suplex and it’s a double tag to Arn and Chip. Everything breaks down and Chip runs into Larry, allowing Anderson to spinebust him in half for the pin to retain.

Rating: D. This was another boring match with the Patriots being in there because the Enforcers needed a challenger. The match wasn’t any good at all and the Patriots clearly weren’t very good. Chip looked like he was about to explode with all of those bulging muscles on a small frame too.

We go down to Eric Bischoff who has Paul E. Dangerously and Madusa with him. Paul has earth shattering news for us. He’s tired of the booking committee saying that he’s too controversial and getting thrown off the commentary team. In the words of Bugs Bunny, of course you know this means war. While he doesn’t have a commentator’s license, he does still have a manager’s license. That’s how he’s going to take apart the company: by going through the company’s heroes one by one, starting with the biggest hero of all: Sting.

Paul brings out the WCW Halloween Phantom as his new top guy and says that the man behind the mask will be the only one on the planet that can bankrupt the company and buy it so he can fire everyone he doesn’t like. The Phantom takes the mask off and it’s…..RICK RUDE. He’s gotten a major haircut and looks evil now instead of stupid. Rude says all he cares about is himself, his women and his money. His money man has a problem with WCW and therefore this company needs to come down.

Rude talks about how he’s never had the chance to face Sting and wants to know if he’s as small as he looks on TV. Rude is coming for the US Title. AWESOME reveal here and it would set the stage for the next eight months of top level feuding in the company. On top of that, Rude was a completely different man in WCW, going from being basically a comedy heel in the WWF to being a killer in WCW. He would be the top heel in the company by February and would be that man for months afterwords.

We get a video on Ron Simmons going back to Florida State to train for his world title match tonight. Florida State head football coach Bobby Bowden says Simmons is ready.

WCW World Title: Ron Simmons vs. Lex Luger

Luger is defending and has Harley Race with him while Simmons has Dusty Rhodes for no apparent reason. This is 2/3 falls. Feeling out process to start and they trade hammerlocks. Simmons tries a dropkick but misses completely to give Lex the advantage. Ron comes back with a facejam and snaps off a powerslam for no cover. The spinebuster gets the first fall in about five minutes total. That came out of nowhere and we have a one minuet rest period.

Simmons slams him down onto the back again and whips him into the corner time after time to have Luger hiding in the corner. Let’s talk about the Braves, who are playing in the World Series at the same time as this show. A sunset flip gets two for Simmons and Race is freaking out. Simmons misses a charge and Luger sends him flying out to the floor. Back in and an elbow drop gets two for the champion.

Lex hits a powerslam of his own for one because his back is too messed up to cover fully. Off to a chinlock as Luger tries to buy himself a breather. Simmons fights back with elbows and punches before grabbing a rollup for two. A backslide does the same and Luger is getting in more and more trouble every second. Race distracts Ron so Dusty gives him the big elbow. In a HORRIBLY STUPID MOMENT, Luger charges at Simmons who is on the ropes. Race holds Simmons against the ropes and Lex falls to the floor, AND THAT’S A DQ. That rule was so stupid that I can’t fathom it at times.

After another rest period it’s the third fall. Simmons is ready to go while Luger is sucking wind. The champion gets in a sucker punch and goes on a big rush of offense. He’s also bleeding from under his right eye. Simmons shrugs that off and pounds away in the corner. A clothesline gets two. Luger knees him in the ribs and Simmons is slowed down almost immediately. A powerslam puts Luger right back down and a middle rope shoulder puts Lex on the outside. Simmons’ shoulder hits the post and we go back inside so the piledriver can get the pin for Luger to retain.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t big on this one. This felt more like a really big TV main event rather than a PPV main event. Simmons would become a lot bigger soon enough and would get the title off Vader in 1992. The DQ here was just freaking dumb as there were far worse throws earlier in the night, but it made sense here because it needed to. Not a very good match but I’ve seen worse.

The announcers talk a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This wasn’t the worst show ever but there’s really nothing on it that you need to see. Luger would leave in February so he was a lame duck champion for the next three or four months. Sting would thankfully go from this to something worthwhile by doing ANYTHING but being in that cage match. Also the Dangerous Alliance was coming and that’s nothing but gold. This wasn’t much but there are far worse shows.

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WCW Saturday Night
Date: January 22, 1994
Location: Center State Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

Time for another of these. I found the next episode after January so we can keep going with this for a little while longer. Anyway, this is the go home show before the Clash so expect a lot of push for that. I think this is another 90 minute episode so this will be about as long as the previous one was. Let’s get to it.

There’s a six man main event with a heel mystery partner.

Nasty Boys vs. Ron Oates/Mark Starr

The Nasties are the tag champions and we get a quick word from Jack and Payne, their challengers on Thursday. Sags and Starr start things off and it’s domination early. Off to Knobbs who walks into a dropkick and armdrag as the jobbers clear the ring for a bit. Off to Oates who is a big guy. Not that it matters much as the good guys tag in and out a lot to work on the arm of Knobbs.

Knobbs runs him over to bring in Sags but he gets taken down as well. Finally some double teaming takes over for the Nasties and things slow WAY down. Everything breaks down and they be clubberin on Starr. Off to a chinlock by Sags but Starr gets up for a hot tag to Oates. And never mind as Knobbs kills him with a double ax. Brian splashes him in the corner and a top rope elbow from Sags gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was way better than I was expecting. It’s a nice change of pace to have the jobbers get in some offense other than a few shots here and there. Not the best match in the world or anything, but I didn’t expect it to get almost seven minutes which made things a lot better here.

Colonel Parker says he’s got a mystery man that’s going to take care of Sting and Flair and Boss.

One of the commercials is for this new move Ace Ventura Pet Detective.

Here’s Flair who talks about giving his son the world title to take into his first grade class for show and tell. It’s more serious than it sounds.

Dustin Rhodes vs. Ricky Tango

That’s a great jobber name. This is your usual squash: Tango is all fired up but Dustin survives the offense and hits the big lariat to set up the bulldog for the pin.

Dustin says he’s ready for Steven Regal and the TV Title on Thursday. Regal has been badmouthing America and Dusty and that isn’t cool.

We go to the control center for the Clash to talk about the majority of the card. We see some clips of the Nasties beating up Jack/Payne on World Wide. Gene talks about the chicken suit match and we also get a clip of Simmons getting in a fight with Ice Train.

Shanghai and Slazenger talk about their match next week with Badd. If Shanghai loses, he takes the mask off.

Ron Simmons vs. TC Carter

Carter wants a test of strength so Simmons kicks him in the ribs for his efforts. Carter hits a dropkick and Simmons isn’t happy. Simmons clotheslines him down and demands a handshake. When Carter tries, Ron kicks him down. That’s awesome. Carter tries another comeback but Ron KILLS him with a shoulder and the spinebuster for the pin.

Ice Train comes out to offer another handshake but Simmons has nothing to do with it and walks off.

Parker runs his mouth about Pillman and Austin shows off his new managers’ license so he can be at Parker’s match on Thursday. Ron Simmons is announced as the mystery partner.

Jim Steele vs. Bob Starr

Oh it’s Jungle Jim Steele. Steele looks like a cross between Ultimate Warrior, Jimmy Snuka, and Tarzan. He was one of WCW’s 948 attempts to recreate Ultimate Warrior, but didn’t have the talent or charisma. A Thesz Press ends this quick.

Gene is in the crowd with some girls but he can’t talk about his news regarding Arn Anderson. But they can call the hotline to find out.

Vader vs. Al Phillips

I don’t like the jobber’s chances. What are you expecting here? Big powerbomb ends this in about a minute.

Vader wants Flair on Thursday. He gets him in a tag match and threatens to kill him. Rude comes in and says bring it on Sting.

2 Cold Scorpio/Marcus Bagwell vs. Tom Burton/Bill Payne

Burton and Scorpio start things off and they mess up a cross body spot that sends Scorpio crashing into the mat. He’s playing possum though and cleans house with Bagwell. Powerslam gets two for Marcus. Scorpio comes in for a corner splash and then we get a double superplex to Burton to kill him for the pin. Now that was a cool ending to a squash.

Pillman says Parker is going to wear the chicken suit. Parker broke up the Blondes and on Thursday, dinner will be served. He’s got a piece of chicken in his hand as he says this.

Rick Rude/Steve Austin/Ron Simmons vs. Sting/The Boss/Ric Flair

That’s a big main event. For some reason they come out to Boss’ music which is really slow and doesn’t do much to get the crowd going. Ice Train is here to yell at Simmons and Rude. It’s a brawl to start and the good guys clear the ring as you would expect. Train stays out there because Parker can. So what’s the point of the manager’s license thing then? Rude and Boss start things off.

Off to Sting as Boss hammers on Rude. We get a pair of atomic drops to Rude which is always funny. Off to Austin in a match that could have drawn millions in 98. Austin gets caught in an electric chair and his team hasn’t been having a ton of luck. Off to Naitch in what was supposed to be Starrcade 1994. Austin backdrops him but gets caught in a Figure Four attempt.

Boss comes in to work on the knee but gets caught by Rude. Rude tries a sleeper but gets caught in a jawbreaker. Simmons pulls the top rope down and Boss is sent to the outside. Simmons comes in to throw Boss around and the fans want Sting. Sting vs. Simmons could have been a huge feud. Austin breaks up the tag and Boss is in trouble. Back to Rude as they work on Boss’ back.

Here’s a bearhug but Boss shoves his way to the corner for a tag to Sting, but the referee misses it. Now Simmons switches places with Rude to hook on a bearhug. Simmons goes to the middle rope but jumps into a punch. There’s the tag to Sting who destroys Simmons with a powerslam for two. Everything breaks down and Sting pins Simmons on a rollup.

Rating: C+. When all else fails, throw six big names into one match and give them ten minutes. It works on Smackdown (kind of) with all those tag matches. This was pretty fun and it’s cool to see Sting vs. Simmons as they were the top faces in the company about a year prior to this. Not a classic or anything but for a TV main event this was fine.

Overall Rating: C+. For a go home show, this was pretty solid. The opening match was longer than expected so we got some ring time on this show which is rare for most TV. The Clash wasn’t that good if my memory is right but we’ll start up towards SuperBrawl after this one. After that, it’s almost Hogan time. Good show this week.

Here’s the Clash if you’re interested:

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Clash of the Champions 22
Date: January 13, 1993
Location: The Mecca, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

Well this is it. This is the 9th level of torment. It’s the absolute greatest form of torture in recorded history. This, is WCW in 1993. I’ll wait for your hearts to start beating again. WCW was great at times, but when they were bad sweet merciful crap they were bad. This is some of their worst. The main event is an 8 man cage match pitting the evil team against the good team. That’s not a simple way of putting it. That’s what they say in the opening video. Let’s get this over with so we can move on to something more pleasant like a root canal.

Tony and Cowboy Bill Watts open the show as Watts talks about the old days because having the actual boss on TV was something that WCW thought was a good idea for no apparent reason at all.

Van Hammer is hurt and off the main event tonight but there’s going to be a replacement named Vinnie Vegas for the arm wrestling contest that Van Hammer is in. No mention is made of him not being in the main event. The arm wrestling thing is big news though baby!

Erik Watts, Bill’s son, has been arrested. Dang they’re not hiding anything here are they? Bill: Erik has always been like my son. Maybe because he is your son you stupid, stupid man. Erik is suspended tonight. He happens to be here for an interview though and the booing is really loud. He was supposed to fight Cactus Jack and can barely talk. Erik was a guy that was supposed to be awesome, but only his dad thought that. He was absolutely terrible so Bill put him on the upper midcard because he could.

Ross and Ventura open the show and talk about the main event like sane people would do. This was one of JR’s last major shows so Eric was about to take over.

Cactus Jack vs. Johnny B. Badd

Cactus, a heel, gets a noticeable face pop. Badd is rather effeminate tonight to put it mildly. This stems off of Starrcade 92 where they were Lethal Lottery partners and they brawled to lose the match. Jesse points out that there are signs for Cactus Jack everywhere and it makes him wonder what is wrong with these people.

Naturally Cactus makes it a brawl (aww why not MAKE IT A WIN?) but Badd wrestles him which works far better for him. Oddly enough he’s a brawler by nature who is wrestling to his advantage. That says a lot about Jack’s brawling abilities. Small package gets one for Badd. Top rope sunset flip doesn’t connect and Cactus drops an elbow for the pin and a BIG pop.

Rating: C. This was confusing to say the least as Cactus had gotten very over all of a sudden and WCW wasn’t exactly sure what was going on with it. Not a bad match but it was a very quick match so it’s not like you could say much about it at all. Fun little match though and the face pop is interesting if nothing else.

There’s a new NWA Champion and his name is the Great Muta. He won it at the WCW/NJPW Supershow III which I recently reviewed.

We get more or less a music video of 2 Cold Scorpio which shifts into a PSA and then back into a video. And hey he’s in the ring. Oh never mind it’s a highlight video now. I won’t get tired of Scorpio in the ring though so this is fine by me.

2 Cold Scorpio vs. Scott Flamingo

It’s an ECW preview match here as Flamingo would change species later as he turned into Raven. Scorpio spins out of some stuff and we have an early standoff. He likes to use a lot of cartwheels. We head to the floor early with Flamingo taking a flying shot to the back. Back in with Scotty getting a nice running dropkick before a dive over the top to the floor, taking out the Cold dude.

Small package gets two for Scorpio but he’s in trouble so far. We hit the chinlock as they need a bit of a break. Scorpio speeds things up a bit again and hits the Tumbleweed for two. A spinning legdrop in the corner sets up the original 450 to end this though. Far better than you would expect.

Rating: B. This was just four minutes but DANG it was a good four minutes. Scorpio is a guy I’ve always liked and this was no exception at all. He looked great out there and Flamingo was no slouch either. They were both MOVING out there in a match that would have been a good Cruiserweight match about five years later. Good stuff.

What the heck? This show was supposed to suck remember.

Video on Thundercage which is the main event tonight. In essence it’s Hell in a Cell. We hear about how Rude is out with an injury and Team Vader needed a replacement. Cactus and Orndorff had a match with the winner getting the spot. Jack took out Vader’s manager and got jumped during the match by Vader, more or less pushing him to the brink of a face turn without actually going the other way. Later in the night Cactus drilled all of them with a shovel. Dang I want to watch Halloween Havoc 93 and the Texas Death Match now. If you don’t get it, Cactus in 93 was AWESOME.

Brad Armstrong vs. Chris Benoit

This is more or less Benoit’s debut. He had a one night appearance back in a tag tournament but that’s more or less forgotten here. Armstrong is an incredibly solid wrestler that most people haven’t seen much of which is a shame. We hear about how Benoit survived the Dungeon so they know he’s good. To give you an idea of how good Armstrong is, he’s not only keeping up with Benoit but he’s even beating him to a degree in technical style.

To the surprise of no one we’re on the mat with more or less a test of strength going on. Benoit powers up in a bridge and Jesse is impressed. Armstrong does the same thing as this is good stuff so far. Some moron shouts boring and is promptly booed out of the building. Armstrong gets a nice reversal to send Benoit to the floor. Back in Armstrong hits some more dropkicks and back to the arm. Basic stuff but well done so far.

Benoit gets the suplex drop onto the top rope as he’s pretty firmly in control at the moment. Benoit gets a running springboard clothesline (think the dropkick that Jericho does and the cross body that Christian does) to Armstrong on the apron to take us to the floor. It’s very clear that this is pre-steroids for the pre-Crippler. Snap suplex gets two.

Armstrong gets a knee in but it gets him nowhere as Benoit hooks a backbreaker to get himself out of trouble. Diving headbutt misses though and here comes Armstrong. And never mind as Benoit hooks the Dragon Suplex out of nowhere (full nelson suplex) to get the pin. Sweet bridge on the pin.

Rating: B. I really liked this one but then again when you have two talented guys out there this is what you get. Nice little story being told as Armstrong was able to beat Benoit with basic stuff but once they cranked things up Benoit was far too much for him. It shows that Benoit can turn on the jets and blow people away, which is a good sign for him in this impressive debut.

We get some clips of the Rock N Roll Express in Smokey Mountain Wrestling which is pretty much brand new at this point. They’re going to be at Superbrawl which is one of WCW’s first steps into cross-promotional. We see them beating the Heavenly Bodies for the Smokey Mountain Tag Titles. Ok so we don’t see the title change and the clip just kind of ends. Ok then.

Jesse is in the ring to do his arm wrestling thing. This was a worked tournament thing he did which went nowhere. Van Hammer, the winner of the tournament, is hurt though so it’s Tony Atlas vs. Vinnie Vegas, more commonly known as Kevin Nash. Nash is allegedly left handed so we’ll use the left arms. Atlas sounds like he’s in labor and Nash wins after a LONG contest that the fans aren’t exactly thrilled with.

Back from a break with Vader’s challenge to Sting for the White Castle of Fear. This is just Vader standing in snow instead of the official video which is Sting in a helicopter and going to a party with more or less S&M, an orgy and midgets. It was indeed weird but it was WCW in 1993 so there you go.

Larry Zbyszko talks about the tournament for the #1 contender spot to the US Title. The finals turned out to be Dustin Rhodes vs. Ricky Steamboat but since Rude was injured the finals became for the title instead of the title shot with Rhodes winning the belt. We get clips of all four first round matches, none of which are anything special at all. We throw in clips of the semi-finals just because they can.

Wrecking Crew vs. Johnny Gunn/Tom Zenk

One of the Wrecking Crew is a dead ringer for Animal and upon further review yeah it’s his brother. Gunn is Tom Brandi who some of you may have heard of but if not he’s not worth looking up. Rage starts for the Wrecking Crew against Z-Man. This is power vs. speed with speed clearing the ring to start. HUGE dive by Gunn to take down both guys on the floor. That was sweet looking!

Heel miscommunication gets a rollup for two for Gunn. The Wrecking Crew takes over with basic power stuff as this isn’t much at all. A facejam by Gunn brings in Zenk. We get a really awkward spot as Fury was supposed to charge out of the corner into a backdrop but he just stopped, making Zenk look like an idiot. I mean more of an idiot than he typically does.

The referee ducks a clothesline and the Wrecking Crew continues to take over. Z-Man (they use that name and Zenk interchangeably) gets a boot up to block an axe handle off the middle rope and Gunn comes in. Forearm/clothesline takes down Fury who has been in there forever. And then a shot to the back of Gunn results in a move called the Wrecking Ball where Fury gets Gunn over his shoulder and Rage jumps off with a forearm smash to end it.

Rating: D. This was really rather weak and definitely the worst match of the night so far. This wasn’t anything special at all with the Wrecking Crew more or less disappearing after this and Zenk/Gunn never meaning anything at all. Pretty weak match that went nowhere at all but at least it was only about six minutes long.

Larry Z talks to the Hollywood Blondes and their title match against Steamboat/Douglas up next. They aren’t called the Blondes yet but it’s coming.

Sting comes out and accepts Vader’s challenge. Simmons and Rhodes, his partners tonight, say they’re not worried.

Vader’s team says they’re ready for a handicap match. Race says they’ll get back at Cactus Jack eventually, which resulted in a really stupid angle which resulted in a really good match. They beat up Barbarian because he’s Jack’s friend to make it 3-3 because they’re very stupid.

We get highlights from the first two SuperBrawls to give us a reason to buy the third one. The show wound up being not bad. This eats up a few minutes. Ok make that several minutes.

Steamboat and Douglas say they’ll keep the titles. They’re the Unified Tag Champions which was something far too complicated that crippled WCW in the second half of 92 but hey, whatever the NWA says goes right?

Unified Tag Titles: Shane Douglas/Ricky Steamboat vs. Steve Austin/Brian Pillman

Both teams are in the ring when we get back. The time limit is thirty minutes here instead of the usual hour which allegedly is going to cause faster pin attempts. Steamboat and Austin start us off and do I need to explain to you why this is awesome? Steamboat and Douglas send the Blondes to the floor almost immediately as this is going to be fast paced for sure.

Steamboat won’t shake Austin’s hand so Austin pounds on him. Off to Pillman and we unleash the chops. Shane comes in off the top as we talk about Bruno Sammartino for some reason. The champions tag in very quickly and Pillman hurts his knee on a leapfrog attempt. Stu Hart trained him though so of course he’s faking. He tries a springboard cross body but gets the heck powerslammed out of him by Shane for two.

Shane works on Austin’s arm as the future bald man is in trouble. Brian breaks up a pin as this is completely one sided. Steamboat throws Pillman onto Austin and Stone Cole is in trouble. Finally the challengers take over off a suplex and some double teaming. They work over Steamboat’s back with a slam on the floor. Steamboat manages a sunset flip but Austin has the referee.

Ricky drills Pillman to put him into the steel but Austin saves the tag with a suplex for two. Steamboat counters a body vice but his back is hurt pretty badly at this point. Pillman sets for his springboard clothesline but down goes Austin as Steamboat ducks. A double chop STILL can’t bring in Douglas but Ricky gets a belly to back to Pillman to put both of them down.

FINALLY the hot tag brings in Douglas and the beating is on. That’s good as the roof is now off. Dropkicks and clotheslines all around as Steamboat is amazingly up after about three seconds. Belly to belly out of nowhere drills Pillman but Austin (illegally) comes off the top (screw you Bill Watts) but it only gets two. Austin is finally like screw this and drills Shane with the belt for the DQ and a bunch of blood. Big heel beatdown follows and they leave with the stolen belts. They would get them for real in a few months.

Rating: B+. Fun match all the way around as they played the NWA formula to the letter here. You can often tell how good someone is when they can have great tag matches and this is a great example of that. They put on a great show here and the whole thing worked very well. Fun match and more or less the first of the Blondes great matches.

We see a clip of Vader winning the world title back from Ron Simmons and messing up his shoulder. Jesse brings out Race and Vader who say Vader is awesome. Simmons comes out and says he’s going to get his title back, which of course he never did. The fight is on with Simmons THROWING Vader down in a spinebuster. That was awesome looking.

Simmons goes after Race but Vader destroys Simmons and reinjures his shoulder with some shoulderbreakers on the floor. Sting and Rhodes come out for the save as it looks like it’ll be 3-2 in the main event.

Sting/Dustin Rhodes vs. Vader/Barry Windham/Paul Orndorff

This is the Thundercage match which like I said is more or less the Cell without a top but it comes up at an angle so it’s more or less impossible to climb in and out. Sting vs. Vader is always awesome so this is going to be good. You can’t be disqualified but you have to tag in and out. Sting and Orndorff start us off. Ok so only Vader is chilling on the apron. Ah there it is as the former tag partners in Rhodes and Windham start us off.

Everyone not named Vader is in street clothes here. Off to Sting vs. Vader which is one of those feuds that always worked very well. Sting hammers away and the Splash hits in the corner but Vader doesn’t go down. Sting pounds him down into the corner and the fans are WAY into it. Everyone but Dustin comes in as he more or less lets Sting fight everyone off on his own.

The numbers catch up with Sting though as Vader goes up and half kills Sting with a shoulder block. A splash misses though and Sting sends him to the floor. Is Dustin allergic to HELPING HIS PARTNER or something? Off to Orndorff who hammers away on Sting. Windham comes in now as Rhodes has been totally worthless in this. Vader gets a corner splash on Sting who might have been in there seven minutes straight now or so.

FINALLY Dustin comes in and since he’s a cowboy he can beat up anyone. And here’s Cactus Jack with bolt cutters to break in and hit every heel in sight with a boot. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a face turn. Orndorff goes for the Piledriver on Dustin but gets popped by said boot and Cactus falls on him for the pin. Sting’s music plays for some reason.

Rating: C+. The cage here meant a grand total of nothing. They beat Sting up pretty well but Dustin did nothing for the most part. Not a bad match and the crowd was way into it, but dude the whole cage aspect was completely pointless here. It set up Sting vs. Vader….somehow and I guess advances Jack vs. Orndorff which someone thought was a good idea. Anyway not bad but kind of a head scratcher.

Cactus says he’s in over his head but not as much as Orndorff is. He’s getting into that zone of his on the mic here.

Overall Rating: B. This was light years ahead of what I was expecting. You can kind of see how odd it is in the main event as Sting vs. Vader were about to feud or were feuding I guess but it was still pretty confusing. The NWA was clearly getting on their nerves here and when Flair came back the NWA’s days were numbered. That being said, this wasn’t horrible at all but it was a bit confusing and odd at times. Still though, good wrestling overrides that so definitely a good show.

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