I don’t remember the last time I was actually looking forward to an Impact pay per view this much. They’ve done a rather nice job of setting this show up and Slammiversary tends to be their best pay per view of the year. The card is rather strong up and down and there are a few matches that could steal the show given the chance. Hopefully they can live up to the hype so let’s get to it.
Moose vs. Rob Van Dam
I’ve made my near disdain for bringing in Van Dam’s fellow ECW names rather well known at this point so I’ll leave them out in hopes that Impact does the same. This match could be a nice moment for Moose, who has always been flirting with the top of the card but never broken through to the next level. Beating Van Dam wouldn’t get him over the finish line permanently, but it would be a solid win for him.
I’ll take Moose to win as Van Dam should only be there to put people over at this point. Van Dam’s best days are behind him but he’s still a popular name and someone who can give someone like Moose a nice rub. It’s also rather nice that Impact seems to be beyond the point where I have to worry about them putting the old guy over, which was a plague upon them for so long. Moose wins here, as he should.
Knockouts Title: Taya Valkyrie(c) vs. Rosemary vs. Su Yung vs. Havok
This is under Monster’s Ball rules, which certainly fits given the insanity that this feud has been so far. There are all kinds of stories going on, but the major story stems from Rosemary looking to avenge Allie’s death, which is mainly due to Yung and James Mitchell. What matters here though is that the match is WIDE open and could go almost any given way.
I’ll go with Yung to win here, though it really could go multiple ways. She seems likely to sneak in and steal a pin, though I have very little confidence in it. That’s the sign of a well told story, as any of the four could win and it would make sense in any direction. This feud is going to continue and I’m ok with that, which isn’t something I would have believed just a few weeks ago. Not bad at all here and the match should be fun.
Sami Callihan vs. Tessa Blanchard
I’m not sure what to make of this one. Blanchard has shown that she is more or less completely dominant over the Knockouts division so it’s understandable that she is facing men. At the same time, Callihan is as scummy of a heel as you can get….but his random sexism feels out of place and not like the kind of villain that he is likely to be. It’s not ridiculous, but it doesn’t feel quite right.
I really see no reason for Callihan to win here, as Blanchard is the kind of person who could be a top star in the company. With her look, talent and pedigree, she already has all the tools and there is no real reason to have her lose her first big non-Knockouts match. I’m not sure where things are going to go with Blanchard, but if they play their cards right, she could be a big deal.
Eddie Edwards vs. Killer Kross
This is a First Blood match and a match that I haven’t been that interested in seeing. It’s fairly clear that Kross is taking Eli Drake’s spot in the feud and that’s as good of a move as they could have had. At least we’re likely to get a more violent match out of these two than Drake vs. Edwards would have been, which makes the First Blood stipulation make that much more sense.
I’ll go with Edwards winning here as it makes far more sense. Edwards has been built up for a little while now and needs a big win like this. With Kross already having contract issues with the company, I can’t imagine seeing the company giving him a win in such a major spot. Edwards wins, likely with the aide of Kenny II. Just let them go nuts and things will be as good as they could possibly be.
Tag Team Titles: The North(c) vs. LAX vs. Rascalz
The titles actually changed hands at one of the online shows and we’re now in a three way for the titles. That makes me wonder if something is up with LAX, who might be leaving for more AEW style pastures. There is nothing left for them to do in Impact so moving on might be the best call. That leaves you with two options to leave for the titles and one has something going for them.
I’m thinking the North retains here because they’re Canadian and Don Callis really likes wrestlers from that country. I’ve been a Rascalz fan since they debuted and would love to see them get the titles here, but something tells me that we need the North (what a great name) keep them for a little while longer. They’re not the worst idea in the world, but they’re far from the most interesting team around.
X-Division Title: Rich Swann(c) vs. Johnny Impact
This is the match I want to see more than any other and it could be an instant classic. Swann has gone from just another X-Division Champion to looking like a borderline main event talent in the span of a few weeks. Impact is a main event talent though and I’m not sure if Swann is ready to make the leap all the way up to the top level in the company just yet.
That’s why I’m going with Impact winning the title here, which is more than an acceptable choice to take. Swann can either come back and win the title again or move up to the World Title scene. After the last few weeks, he’s shown he’s capable of having up there so the move is the right call. Swann is talented and has potential, but Impact has already shown what he can do and is a fine choice to take the title from Swann in a great match.
Impact Wrestling World Title: Brian Cage(c) vs. Michael Elgin
Now this could be all kinds of fun. This is going to be two monsters hitting each other really hard until one of them can’t get up. Cage has been out of action for months now with his back injury but he looked great in his brawl with Elgin a few weeks back. I’m not entirely sure which way this is going to go but it’s going to be a heck of a match until we get to the ending.
With Cage winning the title at the last pay per view and not wrestling since, I’ll take him winning. That brings up the issue of who he is supposed to face next, but I can’t imagine them taking the title off of him in just his first defense. Elgin is a special kind of monster, but he’s going to be taking a loss to the new champ here, as he should be.
Overall Thoughts
I’m really liking the sound of this show and given Impact’s track record with its pay per views, it might actually be a reasonable level of excitement for a change. Almost nothing on the card looks bad and we could be in for a heck of a show. The company has gotten a lot better in its buildup and with the right kind of performance on the show, it could be one of the best pay per views they’ve had in a long time.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
Slammiversary 2018 Date: July 22, 2018 Location: Rebel Entertainment Complex, Toronto, Ontario, Canada Commentators: Josh Matthews, Don Callis
Believe it or not this actually looks like a great show. Impact Wrestling has been on a roll as of late with one very good show after another, but now they need to pay that off with a strong pay per view. It’s not impossible either as nothing on the card looks bad. Just please deliver for once. Let’s get to it.
The opening video features the amazing voiceover guy (Barry Scott) that does this show every year, talking about how great things have been around here in the last year. This show is treated like the biggest show of the year in a way and this voiceover helps a lot.
The arena looks really cool, even though the capacity doesn’t look very high. The architecture is good though with a high ceiling and there’s a ramp that comes down but meets the apron ala WCW’s old system.
Petey Williams vs. Johnny Impact vs. Taiji Ishimori vs. Fenix
Williams is replacing an injured Rich Swann. After a quick staredown, everyone is sent into the corner with Ishimori getting a very early advantage. Impact sends Williams to the floor for the big showdown with Ishimori. Both of them miss standing flips and that means a staredown. Fenix comes back in and bounces off the ropes for, of course, a staredown.
A series of bounces on the ropes send Impact to the floor so Petey comes back in with a flying headscissors. There’s O Canada to Fenix but Ishimori comes back in with a hurricanrana on Fenix and Williams making a save. Impact hits a big dive onto Fenix and Williams so Ishimori hits an even bigger one onto the other three. That gets a rare IMPACT WRESTLING chant, which doesn’t have a great cadence but it’s a nice idea.
Everyone comes back in with their series of springboards, capped off by Petey getting the Sharpshooter on Ishimori. Fenix is back in with a 619 on Impact before rolling through the ropes for a cutter. Ishimori knees Fenix in the corner and a Tombstone gets two. Impact uses the ramp to flip into the ring and it’s a circle of strikes for a four way knockdown. Ishimori hits the 450 on Impact but gets caught in the Canadian Destroyer. The springboard double knees drop Petey for two more but it’s Impact with a superkick and Starship Pain for the pin on Fenix at 12:27.
Rating: B. That’s how something like this should have gone as it was four guys going nuts and getting to showcase their talents. That’s how you want to open a show: fast, getting to the point, not putting the big match on first and just letting the fans have a good time. Impact will be a big player again soon, just for the presence that he brings to the matches.
King rants to the OGz about how much he hates Konnan. They’re ready for tonight and want the LAX name back.
We recap Tessa Blanchard vs. Allie. Tessa is here to show how great she is and doesn’t care who she runs over in the process. Allie doesn’t care for that so Tessa is ready to teach her a lesson.
Tessa Blanchard vs. Allie
Allie gets the hometown pop and is in a hybrid of her two gears. They talk a lot of trash to start and Allie kicks her down, followed by a basement crossbody. Tessa isn’t happy with this getting beaten up thing and forearms her down, only to have Allie come back with a spinning crossbody to the floor. A hot shot onto the barricade rocks Allie though and Tessa is getting the swagger going.
More forearms and right hands to the head have Allie in more trouble but she manages a hurricanrana to the floor. Tessa comes up limping a bit so Allie hits a Death Valley Driver on the floor to put them both down. They do the double slide back in and it’s time for the slow motion slugout.
Tessa gets the better of it again and chokes Allie down followed by a scary super hurricanrana to drop Allie on her head for two more. Allie avoids a top rope backsplash and the running Codebreaker sends Tessa outside. The Best Superkick Ever gives Allie a near fall of her own and frustration is setting in. Another Death Valley Driver is countered into the hammerlock DDT to give Tessa the pin at 10:58.
Rating: B-. Tessa is as good of a Charlotte clone as you can get and that’s not a bad place to be. The win is the right call and a suggestion that Madison Rayne actually picks up the title later on. It’s not like there’s anyone else to challenge for the title and Tessa has history with Madison already. Allie will be fine as she’s charismatic enough to make anything work. Shame about losing in her hometown, but it makes sense.
We recap Eddie Edwards vs. Tommy Dreamer. Edwards has gone insane thanks to Sami Callihan so Dreamer stepped in to reminisce about ECW and talk about his feud with Raven. Eddie accused Dreamer of sleeping with his wife (Dreamer’s “LOOK AT ME” defense was funny) and tonight it’s a hardcore match with blood promised.
Eddie Edwards vs. Tommy Dreamer
House of Hardcore rules. Dreamer isn’t going to wait and starts the brawl in a hurry. They fight to the floor with a water bottle going off Eddie’s head and the metal weapons being brought out. Dreamer trashcans him in the head and we get the ECW chants because this is somehow about the promotion that ended seventeen years ago. Eddie gets in a shot to the head and busts out the staple gun.
You don’t do that to Dreamer, who easily takes it away but can’t get in a shot either. Eddie tries a hardcore sunset flip and gets stapled, meaning it’s time to chant for another promotion again. Someone hands Dreamer an ECW Title for the shot to the head and we’ve got some blood. That just fires Eddie up even more and he hits Dreamer in the head a few times to take over. Back in and some kendo stick shots rock Dreamer again with Eddie declaring himself the new Innovator of Violence.
A stick shot to Edwards rocks him again and a super Death Valley Driver through a pair of chairs gets two because Dreamer isn’t allowed to win anything (as he shouldn’t). It’s time for a table, lighter fluid and a lighter (I’ll let you figure out the combination) but Eddie hits him low. The fans want fire but Eddie hits the Boston Knee Party to drive a chair into Dreamer’s head for the pin at 11:12 instead.
Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of the ECW stuff but they kept it short enough and Dreamer lost as everyone knew he would. Edwards has been a great psycho and if they can keep that up, there’s potential there. Just don’t turn him into a Dreamer tribute wrestler and we should be fine. That and if we can stop the ECW chants, but that ship sailed many years ago.
Post match Eddie starts sobbing and yells to Tommy (not in anger). Alisha Edwards comes out as Dreamer hands Eddie the kendo stick in a passing of the torch. That torch has probably been passed more often than an ECW check. Alisha leaves on her own and Eddie holds the stick.
Matt Sydal is ready to use his mind and third eye to get past the Machine Brian Cage and all those muscles.
We recap the X-Division Title match, which is pretty much exactly what Sydal said. Cage is unstoppable so Sydal is trying to use his mind and spirit to beat him instead of the physical aspect.
X-Division Title: Matt Sydal vs. Brian Cage
Cage is challenging and tosses the champ around in a hurry. A standing moonsault gives Cage two as Callis says Hulk Hogan beat the Iron Sheik in 3-4 minutes. Not really but for a title change it was rather short. Sydal kicks at the knee and gets in a suplex as Cage has already lost a bunch of his explosiveness. Another kick to the knee brings Cage off the top and it’s back to the knee.
Sydal gets two off a standing shooting star but Cage is right back up and throwing Sydal around. The knee gives out though and Sydal kicks away, only to get turned inside out off a pumphandle slam. Sydal speeds things up with some more kicks and a snap modified Angle Slam rocks Cage again. The shooting star misses though and Cage blasts him with the discus clothesline for two.
Cage tries the Drill Claw but gets reversed into a snap hurricanrana and another near fall. Another Drill Claw is countered into a small package for a near fall I actually bought. The shooting star hits a raised boot (and the ropes on the way down, which thankfully didn’t lead to a much worse result) though and now the Drill Claw makes Cage champion at 9:48.
Rating: C+. Cage winning was the only result that made sense and it’s not like Sydal was doing much with the title anyway. I’m not a fan of the third eye stuff but they got the title off of him as they should have and that’s the best result. That being said, I have no idea how they get the title off of Cage outside of a triple threat or a climbing match but we can worry about that later on.
Austin Aries says he’s ready to perform at his best with the lights on bright because it’s one on one.
Madison Rayne is trying to make history by becoming a six time Knockouts Champion. She wants to hand the title to her daughter so her daughter can know Madison has made it. Su Yung is the latest evil crazy zombie bride (there are a million of them) and it’s time for her next big title defense, this time against non-scary/evil Madison.
Knockouts Title: Su Yung vs. Madison Rayne
Madison is challenging and continues the trend of starting fast. Yung gets knocked down but here come the undead bridesmaids. They’re dropped as well, allowing Madison to forearm Yung in the face for two. Yung neckbreakers her out of the corner though and ties Madison in the Tree of Woe for a running dropkick. The red mist hits a bridesmaid though and Madison has an opening. A ripcord cutter gets two on Yung, who is now wearing a bloody glove. The Rayne Drop gets two more but a quick Mandible Claw with the glove knocks Rayne out to retain the title at 6:58.
Rating: C. Madison looked rather good here but I’m not sure where they go with the title from here. Unless they do Tessa vs. Yung (which they won’t/shouldn’t), I have no idea who can challenge for the title. How nice is it to have a reason to believe they could pull it off though? That’s not something I’m used to around here but maybe it can work this time.
Post match Rayne is put in a coffin.
We recap the LAX civil war. Konnan was the manager of the original LAX (Homicide and Hernandez) and then eventually returned with Santana and Ortiz as the new version. The team had its ups and downs but Konnan was eventually attacked. This brought in King, who turned the team back around. Konnan returned and said King took him out, so Santana and Ortiz sided with Konnan against their new boss. King brought in Homicide and Hernandez as the OGz and we’re having a street fight. This is a remake of the Midnight Express feud from thirty years ago and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Tag Team Titles: OGz vs. LAX
Street fight and LAX is defending, though I thought this was non-title. LAX comes through the crowd and Konnan meets them on the ramp to say go to it. Hernandez shrugs off the beating but can’t hit the Border Toss to the floor. Instead Santana dropkicks Homicide off the apron and it’s some dives (with the camera missing one) to drop the OGz. A pair of tables are set up in the corner while Homicide puts up one on the floor against the barricade.
Hernandez starts cleaning house and Ortiz gets choked with a chain. The big dive over the top has Santana rocked as Hernandez flashes back to the SuperMex days. More metal shots to the head put Hernandez down and Homicide actually walks into a suplex. Yes that was in fact a wrestling move. The OGz take over again without much effort but Santana superkicks his way out of trouble.
Back in and Hernandez pulls Santana out of the air, followed by a heck of a sitout powerbomb for two. Ortiz is back up with the trashcan lids to the head and it’s ladder time. A flip dive into a Lionsault onto Hernandez onto the ladder has Hernandez down and the Street Sweeper gets two on Homicide. Santana hits a big flip dive to put Homicide through a table at ringside but they’re not done.
Back in and a running Death Valley Driver puts Homicide through a table. It works so well that Ortiz loads it up but Hernandez gives him a Border Toss through the other table. Santana is back up this time with a superkick as Konnan goes after King. Homicide loads up the Gringo Killer but stops to spit at Konnan. The distraction lets Konnan throw a bag of tacks to Santana, who THROWS THEM AT HOMICIDE for what could be a terrifying result. A slam and frog splash put Homicide away at 13:55.
Rating: B. This was exactly the kind of match it should have been, meaning it was barely wrestling and was instead the wild weapons brawl that showed off the violent hatred. You can almost guarantee a rematch and the OGz getting the titles at one point, as they certainly should. I liked the match a lot, though it didn’t hit the level I was hoping it would reach.
Post match King comes in and distracts Konnan so Hernandez can beat him down. King whips Konnan in the back and the titles are spray painted. Must be time for yet another set of new belts.
Sami Callihan doesn’t like being the underdog in the fans’ eyes. Tonight, Pentagon loses his mask.
We recap Callihan vs. Pentagon. Callihan and OVE started going after luchador masks because they’re a little nuts so Pentagon stood up for his friends and brother. Tonight it’s mask vs. hair in the big lucha de apuesta match.
Sami Callihan vs. Pentagon Jr.
After some yelling, they get to the kicking each other in the face. Pentagon scores with a Sling Blade for the first real offense and it’s time for the chops. Sami opens his vest and wants the best shot. The ensuing chop brings Callihan to his knees and a face that says how bad of an idea that was. He’s fine enough to take it outside for a water bottle to the head but they both chop the post.
Pentagon slaps him down as the announcers mention that this has relaxed rules. I know that’s expected and understood, but it’s nice to be officially told. Callihan posts out some spikes of all things and starts gouging at the head, drawing some much needed blood (just kind of necessary in a match like this). That’s fine with Pentagon, who knocks a spike back into Callihan’s head. With nothing else working, both guys grab a chair and beat the fire out of each other, earning a FIGHT FOREVER chant.
There is blood everywhere and Pentagon chairs him down again. The armbreaker is broken up so Pentagon chairs him down for the second time in a few seconds. Cue the Crists to take a shot each, allowing Callihan to throw some powder. Pentagon breaks the ref’s arm instead so there’s no one to count the Pentagon Driver.
The Cactus Driver onto a chair gets the same result for Callihan and he’s not sure what to do. Callihan loads up some chairs, which go nowhere as Pentagon hits the Fear Factor…for two? Well that was surprising. Ever defiant, Callihan spits in his face, which you just don’t do. Pentagon superkicks him down, breaks his arm and hits another Fear Factor for the pin at 17:58.
Rating: B-. This needed to be a few minutes shorter but it also needed to be a little away from the previous match as having two violent brawls in a row wasn’t the best idea. Pentagon winning was really the only call here given how big of a star he is on the indy scene at the moment so it’s hard to argue with the ending. Give Sami something to bring him back to earth and OVE can go insane again.
Post match OVE jumps Pentagon until Fenix makes the save. Sami has his head shaved and cries throughout.
Bound For Glory is October 14 in New York.
Impact Wrestling World Title: Austin Aries vs. Moose
Aries is defending and Curtis Granderson of the Toronto Blue Jays is holding the title. Feeling out process to start with Aries’ headlock getting shoved away with no trouble. Aries gets in a hard elbow to put Moose down so Moose nips up with no trouble. He sends Aries outside in a heap and the champ collapses on the floor.
Moose’s big dive sends him sailing over the barricade though and Aries is already trying for the countout. Back in and Aries gets one off a slingshot hilo but Moose shrugs off the shots to the chest. A headbutt has Aries sprawling into the corner and there are some rapid fire chops in the corner.
One heck of an elbow drops Moose but he’s fine enough to hit the discus lariat. The spear is countered into the Last Chancery (cool) and Moose takes a long time making the rope. Moose can barely move so Aries hits a Death Valley Driver on the apron, setting up the big suicide dive.
With nothing else working, Moose wins a slugout and throws him over the barricade. Another dive misses though and Aries gives him a brainbuster on the floor. Somehow that’s only good for nine so Aries grabs the belt. Granderson takes it back and Aries gets rolled up for two, only to have him grab the brainbuster to retain the title at 15:55.
Rating: B+. That’s the kind of main event they needed with Moose fighting as hard as he could but coming up short. It didn’t seem likely that he would actually win the title so seeing him get this close and make you believe he could pull it off was quite the accomplishment. Aries is going to lose the title in a big deal down the line and this was the kind of win that is going to make it seem that important.
Overall Rating: A-. Now that worked. They didn’t have the big blow away match but they had about six good to very good matches and that’s more than I would have ever guessed for them about six months ago. The company needed a great show tonight and they got about as close as you can get, so we’ll call this one a big time success. Now follow up on it and make this consistent and it can go somewhere.
Results
Johnny Impact b. Petey Williams, Taiji Ishimori and Fenix – Starship Pain to Williams
Tessa Blanchard b. Allie – Hammerlock DDT
Eddie Edwards b. Tommy Dreamer – Boston Knee Party into a chair
Brian Cage b. Matt Sydal – Drill Claw
Su Yung b. Madison Rayne – Mandible Claw
LAX b. OGz – Frog splash to Homicide
Pentagon Jr. b. Sami Callihan – Fear Factor
Austin Aries b. Moose – Brainbuster
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
Now I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up about this show but really, it’s kind of hard not to in this case. Believe it or not, Impact Wrestling has actually put together a heck of a card and built it up quite well over the last few weeks. I want to see what they have for Slammiversary and there’s a good chance it’s going to be an awesome show. If nothing else, it’s not like they have a high benchmark to beat in order to have their best pay per view in years. Let’s get to it.
Allie vs. Tessa Blanchard
The more I see of Blanchard, the more impressed I am. She’s been in the promotion for all of a few months and they’re already pushing her to the moon. If Su Yung wasn’t Knockouts Champion, Blanchard probably would have won the thing weeks ago. Allie is a good test for her as she’s one of the most popular members of the roster and can go in the ring. This should be fun, especially with Allie being more serious as of late.
I’m going with Blanchard here, as while there’s nothing for her to do in the title hunt right now, a win is a lot more valuable to her than Allie. That being said, Allie needs a win to get her back on track. She took a bad hit when she lost the title to Yung and a win over Blanchard would help. Blanchard has lost enough already though so I’ll go with her to win here, as she should.
Pentagon Jr. vs. Sami Callihan
This is mask vs. hair and they’ve started to book Calliah the way he needs to be booked. He’s not the best in-ring worker and the shouting about how great Ohio is still doesn’t do much for me, but at least they’re booking him as a crazy brawler/lover of anarchy instead of going against his better characteristics.
However, Pentagon almost has to win here as he’s WAY too big of a star pretty much everywhere at the moment to lose one of his trademark things. Callihan’s hair isn’t exactly famous or anything and can be grown back in pretty short order. The match should be a good, violent brawl and with the roll that Pentagon has been on in recent months, there’s a good chance it’s going to be better than I’m expecting.
Eddie Edwards vs. Tommy Dreamer
I’m torn on this one. Edwards’ heel turn and descent into madness has been outstanding….but it’s Dreamer. The guy who has spent probably twice as long talking about ECW than he was actually in ECW. I respect what he did and how he came from nothing to become a nice something in wrestling, but he just doesn’t do anything for me. The whole “I’ve given everything to this business and don’t want you to end up like me” has been done and Dreamer playing the sad old man who can still be violent has lost its charm.
Of course Edwards wins here but the more interesting question is where does he go from here. There’s a ton of potential in that character and if Impact uses him properly, he could be a heck of a star. Just having him target someone new (say Pentagon for getting to hurt Callihan instead) and going all psycho on them could be great, as Edwards has knocked this thing further out of the park than I ever would have guessed.
Knockouts Title: Su Yung(c) vs. Madison Rayne
You can call this one another surprise as Rayne has done far better with the one more run story than I ever would have expected. The problem though is they’ve built her up to the point where she almost has to win the title to validate going over so many others but I don’t think they want to (or should) take the title off of Yung, even if it’s just for a short reign for…well for Rayne.
I’m going to go with Yung retaining through some shenanigans, which is the best way possible to keep things from getting in trouble. Yung can feud with Allie or someone else for the title going forward, though giving it to Rayne and having her drop it to Blanchard isn’t the worst idea in the world either. I’ll stick with Yung retaining though, as it makes more sense at the moment.
Fenix vs. Johnny Impact vs. Rich Swann vs. Taiji Ishimori
It should be noted that Swann suffered a concussion on Thursday and may not be able to work the show. That being said, this has the potential to be a heck of a match. Just throwing a bunch of people who can fly around out there is an idea that usually works and that’s what we’re getting here. Having Impact back is a big positive as well as he has the star power to lend some more credibility to a match like this.
In what isn’t likely to happen, I’ll take Fenix to win. He and his brother are two of the biggest stars Impact has at the moment and having him pin Ishimori, who is cool but not exactly around very often, would be a good way to give him a boost. If you have someone as popular as Fenix at the moment it would make sense to push the heck out of him and a win here would help do that.
X-Division Title: Matt Sydal(c) vs. Brian Cage
It’s another title match where they seem to have booked themselves into a bit of a corner. Cage is on fire at the moment and seems ready to be pushed to the moon. The problem is the X-Division Title isn’t on the way to the moon, nor is having him drop it eventually or having Sydal escape with the title through more shenanigans. That’s a problem here and I’m not sure how they’re going to get out of it.
My guess is they’ll solve it by giving Cage the title and then moving on from there. It’s no secret that Cage is seemingly being fast tracked for the main event scene and this would be a good way to start that process. I mean, a better way would have been to sidestep the X-Division in general and move on to the main event scene but it’s a bit late for that. Having a monster like Cage as champion could be interesting for a change so this seems like the right way, or at least the least painful way, to go.
LAX vs. OGz
Now this is the one that I’ve been wanting to see as Impact FINALLY has a hot story to run on. It’s a retelling of the Midnight Express vs. Midnight Express feud from 1988 and that’s not the worst place in the world to be. If they can do something with the kind of energy they potentially have here, this could be a heck of a match that easily steals the show. At worst, it should at least be pretty good.
As for winners, you almost have to go with LAX, but it entirely depends on how long Homicide and Hernandez are sticking around. If they’re staying then they should win, but if this is a one off appearance then LAX wins easily. Either way, it should be a heck of a brawl and King vs. Konnan on the floor should be interesting as well. The street fight idea is the right call here and they could easily steal the show.
Impact Wrestling World Title: Austin Aries(c) vs. Moose
This has been a very odd build as Moose and Aries have only been in the ring together once in recent weeks. The idea has been to have Moose off training for the biggest match of his life, which is a fine way to write off what was likely a case of Moose not being available for most of the tapings. The match is as interesting as it can be, but Impact has a long history of not having the best main event builds in the world.
I’ll go with Aries retaining here, as the idea has been that Moose has to win the title at some point in the year. There’s a lot of time left in the year for him to pull that off and Aries fighting off some of the other big stars of the promotion is an interesting concept. Also I’m not sure if they would want to switch the title again so soon after having done the Pentagon reign at the last pay per view.
Overall Thoughts
I’m excited. This show looks very good on paper with nothing that feels like filler or a bad match. Don Callis has turned this promotion around (though that’s been said before to less than stellar long term results) and for now, they have a pay per view that I want to see. This is a near miracle for them and if they can pull off a great show, I’m certainly not going to be complaining for once.
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Slammiversary 2017 Date: July 2, 2017 Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida Commentators: Robert Flores, Don West
It’s both a milestone and a farewell as Impact Wrestling is all set to be renamed Global Force Wrestling. While it’s not clear what all that means, tonight is also the anniversary show with a few title unification matches between Impact Wrestling and GFW. Possibly the biggest match on the card though is a battle between announcers. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is about what you would expect: history is awesome and tonight is a big night.
An owl flies into the arena to land on a Slammiversary logo. Sweet chicken wings with a sauce that’s sweet but not too spicy, NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE STUPID OWL!
The bosses of Crash, Noah, AAA and Impact are here for the opener.
Impact Wrestling Tag Team Titles/GFW Tag Team Titles: Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. vs. Drago/El Hijo de Fantasma vs. Naomichi Marufuji/Taiji Ishimori vs. LAX
LAX is defending under lucha rules (going to the floor means the same as a tag) and this is one fall to a finish. Santana and Marufuji start things off with Marufuji flipping out of a wristlock but getting kicked in the face. They flip into a standoff and trade chops until Santana charges into a good looking dropkick.
It’s off to Ishimori and Laredo with Taiji bouncing off the ropes over and over for kicks to the head. Laredo hits the floor so Ortiz comes in for a kick of his own as the fans chant for LAX. Ortiz gets two off a Death Valley Driver and everything breaks down. Garza takes off his pants (as is his custom), allowing Drago to springboard in with a dropkick. Drago and Fantasma take over on Santana and then Ishimori but LAX’s manager Diamante gets in a kick of her own so the champs can take over.
A tandem powerbomb gets two on Ishimori and the Street Sweeper is good for two on Drago. Laredo comes off the top with a clothesline to Ortiz while Garza hits a World’s Strongest Slam on Santana for a sweet looking spot. Things settle down with Ortiz heading up top, shoving Laredo and Garza away, and moonsaulting down onto Drago for two with Marufuji making the save.
Diamante tries to interfere again and gets powerbombed onto LAX. Fantasma hits a modified Tombstone for two with Marufuji making a save. Ishimori eats a suicide dive and Homicide adds (and nearly botches) a Gringo Killer on the apron. Drago sends Ishimori to the floor with a tornado DDT and something like a C4 2000 gets two on Santana. Ortiz is back in with a belly to belly superplex and the Street Sweeper retains the titles at 15:22.
Rating: B. That’s a heck of an opener and they were moving WAY too fast to keep track of everything going on out there. This was a great choice to start the show as they just flew all over the place and didn’t bother with stuff like tagging, which they shouldn’t have in something like this match. You book a match like this for the sake of chaos and entertainment, which is what we got.
Joseph Park has good news for Jeremy Borash: tonight’s tag match is No DQ. JB: “WHAT??? YOU’RE GOING TO GET ME KILLED!” Park says don’t worry.
We recap Moose/DeAngelo Williams vs. Chris Adonis/Eli Drake. Basically Moose has been dealing with a two on one deficit and needed some help so he brought in an NFL buddy. Moose also has NFL player Gary Barnidge and NASCAR driver Austin Dillon with him.
Moose/DeAngelo Williams vs. Eli Drake/Chris Adonis
Moose throws Adonis around to start and hits his always good looking dropkick. It’s off to Williams to roll Drake up and grab an armdrag before handing it back to Moose. That’s probably all he should be doing and there’s nothing wrong with that. Moose’s running dropkick in the corner gets two but Adonis gets in a shot from the apron to take over.
That doesn’t last long as Moose fist pumps himself up and brings Williams back in for a one knee Codebreaker and a near fall of his own. Everything breaks down and Moose hits his bicycle kick to set up back to back sentons. Williams is left alone in the ring to kick both villains through the ropes, followed by Moose moonsaulting out to the floor. It’s table time but Adonis and Drake take Moose down and put him on it instead. Drake poses a bit too long though and gets shoved down. Moose tells DeAngelo to do it and a frog splash (!!!) hits Adonis (doesn’t break the table but the splash looked good) for the pin at 10:50.
Rating: B-. That’s on a bit of a sliding scale as Williams is literally brand new at this but DANG. I was legitimately impressed by what he did out there as I was expecting Dennis Rodman’s stuff from WCW (he does like two basic moves and the announcers act like he’s the best thing ever) but he looked like he was an indy level talent at worst. That might be the best celebrity/athlete performance I’ve ever seen and was a very, very pleasant surprise.
Post match Moose powerbombs Drake through the table to make sure everything is covered.
Ethan Carter III is ready to beat up James Storm because he’s the real man Impact needs.
We recap Carter vs. Storm. Carter lost a #1 contenders match earlier this year and blamed Storm, who he whipped 31 times with a strap. Now it’s a strap match with Carter thinking he belongs here because of his name and Storm out for revenge and blood.
James Storm vs. Ethan Carter III
They’re strapped together and you win by pinfall or submission (thank goodness). Storm unloads with right hands to start and there’s the first strap shot. Carter gets dropped hard onto the apron (which is the hardest part of the ring you know) and sent into the barricade but a strap shot takes over again.
Back in and we hit the choke with the strap but Storm isn’t going to take any more. The comeback is on in a hurry but Carter sends him into the corner for a breather. It’s handcuff time with Storm in trouble, only to pull the old switch and get Carter cuffed instead. Storm gets in thirty two lashes (one more than he gave Storm) and NOW the referee unlocks the cuffs. I’m sure Carter is thrilled with the timing.
A 1%er gives Storm two but Carter sends him into the post for a breather. Carter hits the 1%er as well for the same result and that’s not cool. There’s the Last Call but Storm collapses. Carter gives him a lifting sitout Pedigree (Christopher Daniels’ Angel’s Wings) for the pin at 10:45.
Rating: C. I wasn’t feeling this one as much as the strap shots weren’t the biggest focus, save for that one time in the corner. Storm collapsing is an interesting angle but I’m worried about where it might be going. Carter winning is the right call as there’s a good chance he’s going to be challenging El Patron soon.
Karen Jarrett and Dutch Mantell can’t find Bruce Prichard.
We recap Josh Matthews/Scott Steiner vs. Joseph Park/Jeremy Borash. Matthews is a loudmouthed announcer who brags about his former career. Borash stood up to him and a tag match was set up. This feud has been going on for about three months now and I absolutely cannot stand the thing. It’s basically been the top story for months now and since the commentators are on the show all the time, it’s talked about throughout the shows.
Jeremy Borash/Joseph Park vs. Josh Matthews/Scott Steiner
No DQ and D’Angelo Dinero joins commentary. Josh starts with Park and flips around a bit, followed by a kick to the head. A crossbody doesn’t work so it’s off to Steiner, who looks to be about 50lbs (of muscle) lighter than he was in his regular career. He’s also wearing a shirt, which he would never do given that his character was built around a great physique. Again, there was NO ONE ELSE on the active roster that could play this role?
Borash hands it right back to Park….and they run to the back for a pre-taped segment. Park and Borash grab a fire extinguisher while Steiner and Matthews are in a golf cart. A car with a random fan (I think he was in one of the Final Deletion segments) shows up so Matthews and Steiner steal that to give chase, but they can’t catch an announcer and an out of shape lawyer on foot.
They finally get out of the car (which had cameras inside) and chase after them with Matthews being backdropped into a pool while Steiner throws Park through a wall. With a camera under the water, the Jaws theme starts playing and Shark Boy shows up to bite Matthews. Steiner leaves Park and here’s Father James Mitchell (Abyss’ old manager) to say happy anniversary.
Back inside (and after an unnecessary cameo from celebrity chef Robert Irvine) and Matthews misses a Swanton. Josh spears him down but here’s Steiner for the save. Matthews grabs a hug which is called a Steiner Recliner, only to have Shark Boy come in for the failed save attempt. Now Steiner puts on the Recliner and we’ve got Abyss to get rid of Scott without much effort. The Black Hole Slam onto the tacks crushes Josh and Borash adds a top rope splash to give Abyss the pin at 10:50.
Rating: C. That was as good as it was going to be and the Shark Boy thing made me chuckle a bit. You knew Abyss was going to be in there at some point and there’s nothing wrong with that as it was the only way they could really go. Steiner could have been any heel here though and that’s not a good thing. Again, it looks like the company has no faith in its roster, which is a very bad sign. The wrestling wasn’t the point here of course, but I’m more worried about it continuing until we have a singles match at Bound For Glory. Just let it be over as I don’t think anyone really cared much for this in the first place. Please let it end.
We recap the Eddie Edwards/Alisha Edwards vs. Davey Richards/Angelina Love. The Wolves broke up and Eddie blamed Angelina, but Davey said she just told him to follow his heart. Tonight it’s Full Metal Mayhem (TLC with pins) in what is likely the final fight.
Davey Richards/Angelina Love vs. Eddie Edwards/Alisha Edwards
Full Metal Mayhem with the heels taking over via some early cheap shots. They waste no time in bringing in the weapons with Alisha trash canning Love down. Back in and the good guys take over with Richards and Love having a trash can being put on top of their heads for a double kendo stick shot.
Eddie powerbombs Alisha onto Davey (Flores: That’s in the wedding vows right?) but Love finds a cup of tacks. The tacks are poured into Eddie’s mouth for a kick to the head (straight out of PWG) but Alisha powerbombs Love through a table. Eddie is right there after here and it’s a powerbomb to put Davey through another table for the pin at 8:53.
Rating: C. And this is why you don’t book back to back hardcore matches. We literally saw tacks used less than twenty minutes ago and while the spot here was more intense, it’s still thumb tacks again. The right team won but my goodness I hope that ends the feud. There’s not much left for Richards and Edwards to do but Bound For Glory is always a possibility. Also what was with the REALLY short run time?
We recap Low Ki vs. Sonjay Dutt. Sonjay finally won the X-Division Title in his native India and Low Ki wants a rematch, which will be 2/3 falls.
X-Division Title: Sonjay Dutt vs. Low Ki
Low Ki is challenging in a two out of three falls match. Feeling out process to start as they fight over a wristlock. They grab a test of strength with Dutt being taken to the mat but bridging up. A knee to the ribs actually breaks the bridge and we hit a standoff. Dutt takes him down in a waistlock, followed by a tornado DDT.
A moonsault misses and Low Ki dropkicks him into the corner for two. Dutt tries a springboard hurricanrana but Low Ki rolls through for a standing Warrior’s Way and the first fall at 7:26. After a brief break they head outside with Dutt being sent into the barricade. A kick to the knee takes Dutt down on the apron but another Warrior’s Way only hurts Low Ki’s ankle.
The ankle slows things down but OF COURSE he’s playing possum and throws the referee into Dutt. A big springboard kick to the head gives Low Ki two. He tries a top rope Warrior’s Way but only hits the steps, followed by Dutt sending him hard into the barricade. Back in and Low Ki hits a quick Warrior’s Way, only to try a choke instead, allowing Dutt to roll him up for the second fall at 13:26.
Dutt gets kicked down again but Low Ki seems to have hurt his hand. It’s fine enough for the Ki Crusher and two. Dutt goes up but gets dropped face first onto the buckle. Low Ki takes too much time going up though and a backdrop sets up the moonsault double stomp (still a scary looking finisher) to retain Dutt’s title at 18:40.
Rating: B. The ending surprised me but it’s nice to have Dutt get a big win like this to make his reign seem less like a fluke. That and Low Ki losing is always a good thing in my eyes as I’ve never cared for the guy. The moonsault double stomp is still insanely cool looking though and it was a great way to wrap the match up, especially after all the times Low Ki was using the Warrior’s Way.
We recap the Women’s Title match, which is Sienna being polished vs. Rosemary being crazy.
Impact Wrestling Knockouts Title/Global Force Wrestling Women’s Title: Rosemary vs. Sienna
Unification match and Gail Kim is at ringside. Rosemary has an army of freaks with her. Rosemary goes right after her and here are Laurel Van Ness and KM for the nearly immediate distraction. Sienna gets thrown out onto them and orders them to the back, leaving us one on one again.
Back in and Sienna hammers away before grabbing a chinlock. Rosemary gets sent hard into the barricade, only to fight out of a Tree of Woe for a German superplex. That doesn’t do much actually as the Red Wedding is broken up and Sienna gets two off the Silencer. The second Red Wedding attempt connects but here’s Van Ness to pull out the ref. Allie comes in for the save but the distraction lets Sienna get in a belt shot for two. The mist is blocked and Sienna rubs it in Rosemary’s eyes, setting up a guillotine to make Rosemary tap at 10:03.
Rating: C-. I’m still not sure why these two are fighting or why I should care about the GFW Women’s Title but that’s the case for the entire “promotion” pretty much since its inception. The match was a good brawl but the overbooking really dragged things down. This story has been going on for months now and it doesn’t seem anywhere close to being finished, even though there’s not much left for them to fight over.
Here’s Jeff Jarrett for a chat. He thanks the fans for helping the Jarrett Family over the years. For fifteen years, the fans have supported this company and he wants to say thank you. He’s ready for the main event and says they’ve got a lot to follow. This was short and classy, which is always nice.
We recap the main event with Lashley’s Impact Wrestling World Title vs. Alberto El Patron’s GFW World Title. Alberto beat Lashley earlier in the year but the level of shenanigans caused the match to be overturned. They’ve built this up very well and the videos have helped a lot.
Impact Wrestling World Title/Global Force Wrestling World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Alberto El Patron
Unification match. Lashley has a bunch of MMA fighters with him while Alberto has his father and brother with him. The fighters, save for King Mo, and Alberto’s brother all leave so it’s just Mo and Dos Caras Sr. They hit the mat to start with Alberto kicking at the legs to set up a standoff.
Lashley looks serious and they head outside with Lashley sending Alberto head first into the table five times in a row. Back in and Lashley charges into some raised boots but grabs a neckbreaker. Alberto is back up with a superplex for no cover and they slug it out from their knees. Some right hands in the corner are countered with a powerbomb to give Lashley two.
Lashley is starting to get cocky as he hammers away in the corner but the armbreaker has him in quick trouble. We get the big power up spot with Lashley powerbombing him down for two more. A middle rope Death Valley Driver of all things gives Lashley another near fall and King Mo grabs a chair.
Lashley is content with slapping Alberto in the face, earning himself a kick to the head for two. Dos Caras stares Mo down, leaving Lashley to grab a cross armbreaker. That goes nowhere so a spear gets two, only to have the second spear eat a dropkick. Alberto sends him into the corner and hits the top rope double stomp for the pin and both titles at 19:29.
Rating: B. That’s about what I expected: good, back and forth match with hard hitting action and little to no emotion to the whole thing. I’m assuming their World Title matches are this way by design but it’s never been my favorite style. The World Title matches often feel like they’re contractually obligated instead of personal, which is certainly an option but I could go for more hated/personal issues in the build. Still though, solid match with the right ending.
Alberto celebrates with the roster to end the show. Of note: the logo says GFW Impact Wrestling.
Overall Rating: B. This was actually a heck of a show, which tends to be the case when the company cuts out all the nonsense (and the horrible commentary, which was a MAJOR upgrade tonight) and stupid stuff that they do so often. If nothing else, the matches here were long enough with the wrestlers working hard throughout. I had a good time with the show and while there are definitely issues that need to be fixed, they had a good night tonight to end/begin an old/new era. Call this a very, very pleasant surprise but nothing you need to get used to, given this company’s track record.
Results
LAX b. Naomichi Marufuji/Taiji Ishmori, Drago/El Hijo de Fantasma and Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. – Street Sweeper to Drago
Moose/DeAngelo Williams b. Chris Adonis/Eli Drake – Frog splash to Adonis
Ethan Carter III b. James Storm – Lifting sitout Pedigree
Joseph Park/Jeremy Borash b. Josh Matthews/Scott Steiner – Top rope splash to Matthews
Eddie Edwards/Alisha Edwards b. Davey Richards/Angelina Love – Powerbomb through a table to Richards
Sonjay Dutt b. Low Ki – Moonsault double stomp
Sienna b. Rosemary – Guillotine
Alberto El Patron b. Lashley – Top rope double stomp
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While mainly being a celebration of the company’s history, this is also the end of an era (or error depending on your take). Following “Slammiversary 2017”, the promotion will officially become Global Force Wrestling, bringing an end to the Impact Wrestling era. I’m not sure how much of a difference that’s going to make but before we get to that discussion, we still have a pay per view to cover so let’s get to it.
Josh Matthews/Scott Steiner vs. Jeremy Borash/Joseph Park
I’m putting this first so we can get it out of the way. Despite it being a match about battling announcers, there’s a real argument to be made about this being the main event of the show. At the very worst, it’s the second biggest match on the card and that’s really pitiful. Why in the world I’m supposed to be interested in announcers fighting over…..whatever it is they’re fighting over in a match where Park is the most active competitor isn’t clear but the company certainly seems to think it’s important.
I’ll take Steiner and Matthews to win here as I actually think they’re going to extend the feud all the way through “Bound For Glory 2017”. The story should have ended a few months ago so it wouldn’t surprise me to see it keep going even longer. The wrestling is going to be bad at best as Steiner hasn’t been an active competitor in years, Park is a comedy character and the other two are announcers. This is the second (at worst) biggest match on the card and one of the biggest matches of the year people. Let that sink in for a minute.
Moose/DeAngelo Williams vs. Chris Adonis/Eli Drake
This is your celebrity match of the show but at least there’s a story built in. Moose has been having issues with Adonis and Drake for weeks now and needed some help dealing with them. Williams is an NFL free agent so he has an athletic background, though there’s a good chance that’s not going to translate into wrestling success.
That being said, it would take WCW levels of stupidity to bring in a celebrity athlete and have them lose. I’m not sure why we’re not having Moose defending the Global Title here as it would make more sense but at least they have something different by having Williams in the match. I’d assume this keeps going as well but Williams is likely just going to be a one off, meaning him losing would make next to no sense.
X-Division Title: Sonjay Dutt(c) vs. Low Ki
Dutt won the title in the highlight of the Indian tapings and now it’s time for Low Ki’s rematch. I’m not a big Low Ki fan whatsoever but Dutt has enough charisma and skill to get by. This is also 2/3 falls, meaning there’s a good chance it’s going to be a long match with both guys winning at least a fall.
I’ll go with Dutt retaining the title as Low Ki never felt like a long term champion. He has way too long of a history of leaving promotions to keep a title on him long term. Dutt might not stick around long either, but putting the title on him in India and then taking it right back in his first defense wouldn’t be the brightest idea in the world. I don’t think he’ll do anything more than set the stage for a top heel to take the title away from him and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Tag Team Titles: LAX(c) vs. Drago/Hijo de Fantasma, Naomichi Marufuji/Taiji Ishimori vs. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr.
We continue the trend of each match having a theme with the international match. In this case we have two teams from Mexico, one team that represents the Latino nation and a Japanese contingent. Of the challengers, only Laredo Kid and Garza Jr. have appeared regularly for on “Impact Wrestling” TV so this might not be the most easy to follow match in the world.
LAX should retain here as they’re getting somewhere with the act. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. are a good high flying team but nothing we haven’t seen done better before. The other two teams are likely just one or two shot deals and that wouldn’t mean putting titles on them. Let LAX get a big win under their belts so they can build up to something more in the future, perhaps for the Veterans of War to dethrone them later.
Impact Wrestling Knockouts/Global Force Wrestling Women’s Title: Rosemary (c) vs. Sienna (c)
This is one of two unification matches because this company actually thinks the GFW Titles matter in the slightest. Having this as title for title adds nothing to the match as Sienna could have easily been built up as a regular challenger to Rosemary with the GFW Title really adding nothing whatsoever. It’s a gimmick though and unfortunately that’s often more important than making the most sense.
Due to the merger though, I’ll go with Sienna winning, even though Rosemary has been built up far better. Neither is the most thrilling option in the world but at least you have the possibility of building Allie up to face Sienna for the title at “Bound For Glory 2017”. You could do the same with Allie vs. Rosemary but that wouldn’t pack quite the same punch as Allie challenging Sienna.
Eddie Edwards/Alisha Edwards vs. Davey Richards/Angelina Love
Full Metal Mayhem, which is Impact Wrestling’s version of Tables, Ladders and Chairs. The guys have been feuding for a good while now and the women have added some nice flavor to the story. Alisha isn’t the most experienced but there’s a lot of potential for drama with the husbands protecting their wives from extreme violence.
This show needs a face to win a big match so I’ll go with Eddie and Alisha. Richards and Love have dominated the feud so far and it would make sense to have them lose in the end to even things out a bit. I can always go for some good violence in a match and the Wolves have the ability to beat the heck out of each other like few others can. This should be a lot of fun and that’s something this show needs.
James Storm vs. Ethan Carter III
Strap match. This has been a solid upper midcard feud, though I’m not sure what they were going for with the E Singh III deal in India. As is almost always the case, this one seems to depend on what happens in the main event as you could easily see the winner getting a shot at the World Title in the near future.
Therefore, I’ll take Carter, probably through some major shenanigans. That’s the beauty of a strap match: Storm can get in some solid revenge on Carter but still lose via some sort of cheating in the end. These two should beat the heck out of each other and that’s certainly a good thing, especially given how this feud has gone so far.
Impact Wrestling World Title/Global Force Wrestling World Title: Lashley vs. Alberto El Patron
Another title for title match and I’m not sure if I’m interested in this one or not. Neither of them has what I’d call an interesting character or personality, meaning they need to blow it out of the water with the actual wrestling. The good thing is they’re both more than capable of doing that, but it doesn’t matter if they have too much other stuff weighing them down.
I’ll take El Patron to win and unify the titles as this show is going to need a big moment to end on. El Patron as champion isn’t the best idea in the world but we’ve covered Lashley as the unstoppable (save for those times where he lost the title) champion for far too long now and it’s time to move on to something fresh. The promotion needs something new on top and while El Patron isn’t that guy, he can hold the title until they find that guy.
Overall Thoughts
I’m not the most excited for this show (if that wasn’t clear) and it’s mainly because there’s no single match that really has my interest. There’s going to be good stuff throughout the card and some of the stories should wrap up, but that doesn’t mean the show is going to hold a lot of interest for a good chunk of the audience.
It also doesn’t help that we’re coming up on yet another new era for the company, which seems to be the case far too often anymore. We have roughly three and a half months until “Bound For Glory 2017” and I hope most of these stories wrap up so we can spend that time building to something new instead of spending half of it on fallout. Therefore, a lot of these matches need to wrap up stories instead of extending them, which has been a problem for this company for a long time now. Hopefully the show is a surprise but I’m not getting my hopes up.
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TNA is back on pay per view with their annual anniversary show featuring something close to a triple main event. First and foremost we have TNA World Champion Drew Galloway defending against Lashley in a submission/KO only match. Next, Mike Bennett is finally giving Ethan Carter III his rematch after Carter ran through a string of opponents to earn another shot at him. Finally there’s arguably the real main event as Matt Hardy faces Jeff Hardy in a Full Metal Mayhem match. Let’s get to it.
We open with the roster on the stage for a moment of silence for the victims in last night’s Orlando shooting.
The opening video is a pretty basic one with a quick clip on each match.
We hear Jeremy Borash hyping up Full Metal Mayhem, which I think was supposed to be just for the live crowd.
X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Andrew Everett vs. DJZ
Lee is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Before the bell, Shane Helms is banned from ringside. It’s a big brawl on the floor to start with DJZ chopping Trevor and Eddie fighting Everett on the other side. Everett is sent into the steps and the other three get inside for the opening bell. Lee gets double teamed until they all head to the floor, allowing Everett to get back inside for a big corkscrew plancha.
The Helms Dynasty (Everett and Lee) start double teaming Eddie with a drop toehold into a knee to the head, only to have DJZ to come back in with a double elbow to the jaw. DJZ holds the ropes open for an Edwards dive onto Everett, only to have Andrew run back inside for a running shooting star press and a near fall on DJZ. Lee isn’t happy with that and gets in an argument with his stablemate, leaving Eddie to chop both heels in the corner.
The champ gets two on Eddie off that spinning powerslam of his but Everett is right back up to eat a superkick from Edwards for two. Lee throws DJZ off the top for a big crash, leaving Everett to hit a springboard shooting star and a near fall on Eddie to leave everyone down. DJZ’s tornado DDT gets two on Everett but Lee blasts him with a jumping knee to the face. Back in and Eddie counters Trevor’s fisherman’s buster into a small package for the pin and the title at 10:11.
Rating: B. This was exactly what it needed to be with a bunch of big spots and a white hot pace throughout. Unfortunately that’s probably it for the title meaning anything until we get to Bound For Glory and the likely showdown between Helms and Edwards that I don’t think many people are really looking forward to seeing. This was nothing we haven’t seen before but it’s nice to have a regular match instead of Ultimate X for the sake of having Ultimate X.
Lashley is warming up.
The announcers run down the card.
Ethan Carter III says tonight he’s taking Mike Bennett to church where the people are going to be singing Trouble Trouble Trouble.
Clips of Sting being announced as the first member of the TNA Hall of Fame.
Tribunal vs. Grado/Mahabali Shera
Serious vs. fun with Al Snow as the Tribunal’s coach. Snow says his hero Donald Trump is going to make America great again and promises to make wrestling great again starting here tonight. The Tribunal jumps Shera to start and it’s Baraka choking him against the ropes. Baron chokes even more as the announcers talk about how none of these four have been on a Slammiversary yet. Considering two of them have only been hired for about a month, that’s not a huge surprise.
Baraka works on a chinlock but gets caught in a quick Sky High for a breather. Baron runs around the ring to pull Grado off the apron but Grado comes in anyway and starts cleaning house, including taking away Snow’s whistle. Shera springboards in to take out both French villains as everything breaks down. Shera and Dax go outside as Grado kicks Baraka in the chest for a delayed two as Snow had the referee. Back up and a quick backbreaker/middle rope elbow combination puts Grado away at 7:33.
Rating: D+. It was fine but should have been a nothing TV match instead of taking away a pay per view spot. The Tribunal really comes off as little more than a midcard heel act at their peak, despite both of them having a great look. Nothing match of course but was anyone expecting anything else?
Braxton Sutter comes up to James Storm for an introduction. They seem to get along and they go off for a chat.
We recap Maria Kanellis vs. Gail Kim despite Maria being out of the match with a broken hand. Basically it’s wrestling vs. entertainment as Maria is in charge of the Knockouts and wants to make them a bigger deal while Kim says she has no room to talk since she’s not a wrestler. Somehow this is supposed to make us want to cheer for Kim.
Gail Kim comes out for the match but Maria’s hand is in a cast. Allie says Maria deserves sympathy but Gail says Maria is a liar. Billy Corgan comes out to show us an X-Ray and the hand is indeed broken. Instead of just putting Allie in Maria’s place, Gail is being added to the Knockouts Title match right now.
Knockouts Title: Sienna vs. Gail Kim vs. Jade
Jade is defending. Sienna gets double teamed to start but she comes right back by choking Jade in the corner. Gail is tied up in the Tree of Woe and Sienna uses her break to crank on Jade’s neck. Everyone gets back up and Sienna fireman’s carries both of them at the same time for a big drop as everyone heads outside.
All three get knocked down but slide back in at the same time to start chopping it out. Sienna backdrops Gail to the floor and Jade springboards into a tornado DDT for two. Gail is back in with a hurricanrana on the champ and Sienna adds an AK-47. Eat Defeat drops Sienna but Allie pulls her out at two. Sienna gets the title as Marti Bell comes in to hit Jade with something to give Sienna the title at 7:40.
Rating: C-. Unnecessary ending aside, it’s nice to get the title off Jade to end that completely dead reign. Maria has become the first interesting thing in the division in a long time and it makes sense to have her get control of the title in addition to the division. Now we can have Gail Kim STAND UP FOR WRESTLING and take the title in a big showdown at Bound For Glory, likely after her Hall of Fame induction. Gail’s knee injury from Impact was mentioned but didn’t factor into the match.
Lashley says there’s a big fight feel tonight and makes JB practice announcing him as the new World Champion.
Here’s James Storm to talk about how fourteen years ago, this company gave a bunch of kids a chance on Wednesday nights. He’s still here though and loves the idea of doing things his way. Storm is here in Orlando, which draws an ORLANDO chant. Tonight, Storm wants to give a new kid an opportunity so get out here Braxton Sutter.
James Storm vs. Braxton Sutter
Apparently Storm told Sutter that it took him a few months to get his first win out of the way. Eh a few months, his second match, same difference. They start fast with Sutter dropping him with a shoulder but running into an armdrag. A dropkick staggers Sutter and an enziguri from the apron makes things worse. Sutter comes back with a high cross body for two and a powerslam for the same, followed by a suplex into the buckle for a third two count. Back up and Sutter charges into a Codebreaker, followed by the Last Call for the pin at 6:47.
Rating: C. Well that happened. I’m so glad they had Sutter get a strong push out of the gate and then have him lose here, probably for the sake of honoring TNA’s history or whatever. TNA is dying for fresh blood right now and having someone new with a lot of potential lose to James Storm clean isn’t the right way. I’d be more fine with this if Storm was heading up the card but I really can’t picture that happening.
Eli Drake says we won’t be seeing champions go 0-3 because he is the namer of the dummies. Bram might just be crazy enough to put his life on the line to take the King of the Mountain Title but if that’s what he thinks, Bram really is a cross eyed dummy, yeah. That guy can just command a camera.
Video of Kurt Angle being announced for the Hall of Fame.
King of the Mountain Title: Bram vs. Eli Drake
Bram is challenging after Drake cashed in Feast or Fired to take the title. Drake jumps him to start but backs off when Bram gets to his feet. An early Brighter Side of Suffering attempt sends the champ out to the floor and that’s enough for Eli so far. Drake tries to leave and says we’ll do this next month, only to have Bram punch him back to the ring.
Bram teases the Brighter Side of Suffering on exposed concrete but Drake backdrops him for a long count from the referee. A neckbreaker gets two for Drake but it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down. Back up and Bram starts slugging away, followed by a jumping knee to the face and Pop Up Powerbomb for two. Now the Brighter Side of Suffering connects and Drake rolls straight to the floor. Back in and Drake hits his clothesline and neckbreaker combo (Blunt Force Trauma) for the pin to retain at 8:36.
Rating: C. I’m a big Drake fan and he’s starting to come around (though a new finisher would really help him) so this was the right call. Bram is fine in his role and could be something if TNA would stick with him but Drake comes off like a Miz: he can command a crowd really well and can wrestle well enough to get through a match.
Mike Bennett talks about being the man who did what no one else could and promises that after tonight, the fans are going to say they believe.
Recap of Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III, which is built around the idea of Bennett being the first person to ever beat Carter and Ethan wanting a rematch to get his revenge after all the cheating in their other matches. Carter had to walk through a road of redemption to get his shot.
Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III
They lock up to start and it’s an early standoff. The fans chant NO WE DON’T as Carter scores with a few shoulders. Ethan knocks him to the floor but eats a clothesline as the fans stay on Carter’s side. Bennett makes things a bit more serious with an elevated DDT off the barricade onto the ramp. It’s way too early for that to end the match though so Bennett grabs a neckbreaker back inside.
The Miracle in Progress is broken up and Ethan plants him with a sitout powerbomb for two. Carter can’t get the 1%er either and Mike gets two off a spinebuster. Bennett gets in a cutter but Ethan pops up for a clothesline to put both guys down. A flapjack sets up the 1%er but Bennett gets out at two. They head to the apron with Carter hitting his TK3 onto the apron, only to go up top and dive into another cutter.
Bennett drops him with a piledriver for two but Ethan rolls some German suplexes and hits another 1%er with Maria throwing a chair in to distract the referee. The referee gets rid of her but it’s a Miracle in Progress onto the chair for two more. Ethan gets up and grabs another TK3 followed by the 1%er for the pin at 15:03.
Rating: B+. This was the match I was looking forward to the most and it delivered as well as I was expecting. These two are a pair of young guys with good chemistry and a lot of talent, which is why this has been the best feud TNA has done in a good while. I’m sure we’ll see a rubber match between them and it’s going to be a lot of fun as well, which gives me a reason to keep watching, for now at least.
Matt Hardy is ready to end Nero.
We recap Matt vs. Jeff, which is over Matt being obsessed with defeating his brother because Jeff has broken him or whatever Matt is babbling about this week. For some reason this has turned him into some combination of Raven and Sweeney Todd with a bad British accent.
Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy
Full Metal Mayhem (basically TLC with pins) and Matt’s wife introduces him as broken, meaning he has piano music. Jeff attacks in the aisle to start but Matt comes back with a bunch of weapons. A snap suplex puts Jeff down on the floor as Matt empties a trashcan full of weapons, which only allows Jeff to take over with some hard shots. Jeff crushes him with a ladder up against the post and drives him through a table (that’s not metal) for two.
Back in and Jeff puts a huge ladder completely across the ring with Matt on top for a top rope splash and another near fall. The Swanton hits knees though and Matt gets two of his own. Matt starts biting Jeff’s ear because a Mike Tyson reference seems appropriate here. A Side Effect on the apron knocks Jeff silly but Matt pulls out a keyboard because he’s broken. He bridges it between the apron and a piece of the barricade so Matt can powerbomb Jeff through the keyboard for two.
Matt puts Jeff on a table on the floor and climbs a ladder inside, only to have Jeff come in and send them both crashing into the turnbuckle. It’s Jeff up first with a basement dropkick for two, followed by the Twist of Fate. Ok that he did rip off from Matt. Now the Swanton connects for two more and they head outside next to two tables. Jeff gets another Twist of Fate through one of the tables for two as the fans aren’t really reacting since they’re waiting on the big spot. Matt is laid on the other table and Jeff Swantons off the top through him for the pin at 16:56.
Rating: B-. Uh, that’s it? That’s what they’ve dedicated the most time of any match to on TV? A decent TLC match with a KEYBOARD as the big spot? The ending was nothing special but I’d rather have it be a “safe” (by comparison at least) spot instead of Jeff jumping off the roof or whatever he was hinting at doing. Hopefully this wraps the whole thing up though as Matt really doesn’t need to do anything else, though I’m sure we’ll get another match because these two are MONEY. Like enough money for a Coke or something but it’s still MONEY.
Matt walks off as Jeff celebrates with fans.
Decay says you can’t run from them because they never stay the same. The BroMans’ resurrection will lead to their demise.
Tag Team Titles: Decay vs. BroMans
Decay is defending. Robbie goes after Abyss to start but Steve gets in a cheap shot to take over. It’s quickly off to Jesse as everything breaks down early. Robbie dives off the top to take out the champs, followed by Jesse throwing Rosemary onto them as well. Things settle back down to Abyss choking Jesse in the corner and Steve gets in a shot to the back of the head.
Jesse finally knocks Abyss away and makes the hot tag off to Robbie for a Boom Drop on Steve. Rosemary mists Abyss by mistake and the blind monster chokeslams Steve. The BroDown and Adonis Lock has Steve tapping but Abyss mists the referee by mistake. The women get in a fight as Steve gets in a belt shot for two on Godderz because BLOWING MIST IN A REFEREE’S EYES isn’t a DQ anymore. The Adonis Lock goes on again but Abyss makes another save and grabs the Black Hole Slam on Jesse. Abyss powerbombs Steve on top of him to retain at 9:15.
Rating: C+. This was a lot better than I was expecting and they did a good job of making the BroMans seem like more than just a couple of goofs. The lack of a DQ off both mists was annoying but that’s par for the course anymore. We’re just waiting for the Wolves at this point but it’s good to have a team get a nice little push like this.
Drew Galloway says he’s ready to fight for wrestling.
TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Drew Galloway
Submission or KO (last man standing variety) only to win and Galloway, in a kilt, is defending. Drew Claymores him two seconds into the match but Lashley pops up and grabs a legbar. That goes nowhere so Drew tries to throw him into the steps, only to have Lashley jump on top of them. Back in and the Iron Maiden is easily broken so Drew grabs a second version.
Lashley fights up and gets in a spear, followed by an overhead belly to belly. Since it’s not a KO though, there’s really nothing to do but wait for Drew to get up. A cross armbreaker doesn’t last long on Drew as he kicks Lashley in the face and cuts his eye open. Lashley suplexes him again and starts pounding away in the corner. Drew blocks a superplex and this a top rope clothesline, followed by another Claymore. It doesn’t even get a count though as Lashley gets up and scores with a quick spear to put both guys down.
Drew gets in a big boot to put Lashley on the floor before sending him into the steps. The Celtic Cross onto the steps makes things even worse for Lashley but he’s still not out. That leaves Drew with nothing else (because the show is running out of time) to do but put on a Sharpshooter on the steps. The referee breaks it up despite DQ’s not being a factor in this match. Yet another Claymore drops Lashley and now it’s time for a table.
Drew’s flip dive over the top only hits the table though and both guys are down again. Lashley won’t let the count go yet though and pounds Drew in the head a bit first. The champ gets up but dives into a Crossface, which is quickly reversed into a Tombstone. Lashley is up again and blasts Drew in the face, setting up a side choke to knock Drew out for the title at 17:58.
Rating: B. The match was good but LASHLEY??? The epitome of “monster for someone to destroy” gets the title again? They’re going up against Smackdown in a few weeks and they put the title on Brock Lesnar minus charisma? This was set up perfectly to have Galloway win and look like a star but instead it’s Lashley again because the first two reigns were so great.
Josh acts like this is Lashley’s first reign to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. I’ll be sticking around but egads this company makes it hard to sit through. As usual the show is much better when they just focus on the wrestling instead of all their “creative” stuff but this felt like TNA in a nutshell: the stuff they do is good but it’s just enough to squeak by. Instead of hitting a home run, this was a weak single over the third baseman’s head. There’s enough good in it to keep me watching but Impact is going to go downhill all over again because they have nothing to build towards for four months.
The matches that needed to deliver did so, but the stuff between the opener and Bennett vs. Carter was the usual collection of weak to average at best. As usual TNA survives again on hard work from the wrestlers but I’m not looking forward to Galloway chasing Lashley while Lashley talks about how awesome he is in that weird voice of his. It’s a good enough show, though nothing I’ll ever want to see again.
Results
Eddie Edwards b. Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and DJZ – Small package to Lee
Tribunal b. Grado/Mahabali Shera – Backbreaker/Middle rope elbow combination to Grado
Sienna b. Jade and Gail Kim – Pin after Marti Bell hit Jade in the back
James Storm b. Braxton Sutter – Last Call
Eli Drake b. Bram – Blunt Force Trauma
Ethan Carter III b. Mike Bennett – 1%er
Jeff Hardy b. Matt Hardy – Swanton Bomb through a table
Lashley b. Drew Galloway – Side choke
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It’s that time of year again. It’s time for TNA to pretend that they’re a major wrestling promotion by offering a pay per view that most people aren’t going to watch that is supposed to lead them into their potential war against Smackdown. The main event is allegedly Drew Galloway defending the World Title against Lashley in a TKO or submission only match for reasons that have been forgotten in the weeks of build. Let’s get to it.
We’ll start with the match TNA has announced as the official opener as Trevor Lee defends the X-Division Title against DJZ, Andrew Everett and Eddie Edwards in the match that was easy to predict because this is what the X Title is these days (or these years actually: a match you throw onto a show after a very weak build for the sake of talking about the good old days when people cared about it. The position on the card or whoever fights for the thing doesn’t matter as long as the title is treated as a complete afterthought.
As for the match itself, I’ll go with Edwards getting the belt to set up a match against Helms at Bound For Glory which isn’t going to be the most interesting either. Helms debuted last October and has done a grand total of almost nothing since, other than naming a small stable after himself and teasing an in ring debut that might get some minor attention. Edwards winning makes sense here and could give the title some more false hope of meaning anything going forward.
Dang I’ve been a bit bitter this time. Maybe the next match will be a bit better.
We also have an Al Snow match as his new French team faces the comedy duo of Grado and Mahabali Shera which should be destined for the pre-show. This is a feud that has been built up for a few weeks now and still has no real reason to exist other than to make Al Snow look more important than everyone else in the match. The French guys could be something interesting in the future but I really don’t expect them to be anything more than long term Wolves fodder. I’ll go with them to win here but we’ll likely get a rematch on Impact so Grado and Shera can get their comedit win.
Braxton Sutter has a match against an opponent to be named. I’m sure this will be a squash but Sutter impressed me a lot on Tuesday so I’m fine with this one getting a pay per view spot. It probably won’t get much time but at least it should be entertaining while it lasts.
Back to the title matches as we have Jade defending the Knockouts Title against Sienna. Jade is a really sad case as it’s clear that TNA wants to focus the whole division on Gail Kim but felt the need to take the title off of her for a bit before getting back to her, likely in a big moment at Bound For Glory as she’s entered into the Hall of Fame. Notice how even in a preview for the title match I keep talking about Gail Kim? See how similar it is to TNA? Sienna likely wins here so they can switch the title to Kim in October but at least it would kill off the dead Jade title reign and end its misery.
Decay should easily retain the titles over the BroMans, who are just thrown out there because Beer Money isn’t around anymore. As much a I’ve enjoyed Raquel as the latest eye candy around the pool and in the gym, she’s not going to be enough to get the suddenly much better BroMans another title reign. Decay has actually been a lot of fun lately and I can’t imagine they’re losing the titles to anyone but the Wolves, because they’re the Gail Kim of the tag division.
I’ll go with Drake to keep the King of the Mountain Title as Bram turns into TNA’s hybrid version of Cesaro and Ryback: he might get a quick push but at the end of the day he’s there to put someone over instead of getting himself over. Drake is going to have to cheat as hard as he can to win this thing but he’s been on fire lately and deserves some recognition for all that effort.
Now we get to the big stuff and we’ll start with the third biggest match on the card as Drew Galloway defends the World Title against Lashley in a TKO/Submission only match. Basically the two of them have been brawling for months and somewhere in there Dixie Carter had this darlin idea of mixing MMA and TNA rules because that’s what fans want to see when they watch professional wrestling.
I’ll go with Galloway to retain as Lashley is really just a glorified monster, albeit a rather good one. The stipulations would seem to favor Lashley, even though he made Kurt Angle tap out a few months ago. I’m not really wild on this match and it’s going to feel a little flat as a main event on a show like this. Still though, Galloway retains.
Next up is the match I’ve been looking forward to more than any other on the show as Ethan Carter III gets his rematch with Mike Bennett. These two have had the best feud TNA has produced in a LONG time and most of it is due to having two young guys with different personalities fighting each other. It’s been fun and the matches have worked, making this feud one of the big reasons that TNA has been tolerable. I’m sure this is going to be really entertaining as well and one of the better matches of the night.
That leaves us with the real main event. It won’t go on last but given how TNA has gone over the last few months, it’s very clear that this is the most important match of the night, at least in their eyes. We have Matt Hardy (now looking like a homeless Shakespearean actor) against Jeff Hardy (who may or may not be Willow half the time) in a Full Metal Mayhem match.
I don’t remember the last time a feud has turned me off on a promotion worse than this one has with TNA. They’ve treated this as the be all and end all feud of TNA when it’s really just the same thing we’ve seen time after time. I’m really not even sure why they’re fighting other than Matt is obsessed with getting rid of his brother. One week they were having an I Quit match that ended in a draw and now it’s this completely over the top feud with so bad they’re good vignettes.
I’m sure Jeff is going to do something completely stupid that no one will be able to follow because that’s how TNA works. There are better and more important feuds, but Matt vs. Jeff is their version of Austin vs. Rock for whatever reason and the fans not wanting to stick around really doesn’t matter to TNA. The match should be entertaining but as usual it’s the trip to the dentist office of wrestling: the end result is better than you were expecting but that doesn’t mean it was fun getting here. I’ll actually take Matt to win, likely putting him back in the World Title hunt because he’s a Hardy and that’s where he belongs.
One final note: Gail Kim vs. Maria is off due to Maria breaking her hand. There’s always the chance they’ll swap in Allie to take her place though and if that’s the case, I’ll take Gail to win a good match.
Overall, I really do not want to see Slammiversary, This insanely booked Hardy vs. Hardy feud has just crippled my interest in the show in recent weeks and I don’t see that getting any better anytime soon. If Matt vs. Jeff closes the show over the better or more important match, I’m going to be taking a break from TNA to keep myself from going insane. The show has the potential to be entertaining but TNA needs to nail something special tomorrow night, which I really don’t expect them to do. I mean, it’s not like they ever really do.
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We’ll go chronologically with the nominees here and start with the Royal Rumble. I actually didn’t mind this show at first but the more I think about it the worse it seems. The problem here is very simple: the Rumble itself sucked. I mean it totally sucked. It’s not so much that it’s bad but it was just so freaking boring. There was no secret about the fact that Reigns was winning and then they go out of their way to give him Big Show and Kane at the end (plus the real finish with Rusev). The triple threat was amazing but other than that there’s just nothing on here. When a third of the show bombs, there’s little saving it.
Continuing with the Reigns run, we have Fastlane. The thing is, I really kind of liked this show. The key to remember is that Fastlane was a two match show and both of those matches more than delivered. You couple that with a good Tag Team Title match and a nice six man opener and the show really wasn’t that bad. Completely unnecessary yes, but far from bad.
Now we get to something that really deserves a mention with Slammiversary. Much like Fastlane it really didn’t need to exist, but in this case the show was nothing. The big draw was Jeff Jarrett returning to win the old TV Title to help set up that stupid GFW invasion which didn’t go anywhere because it was a lame idea. The rest of the show was nothing interesting either because TNA was worried about spoiling their precious TV show. Instead, screw the fans that are willing to pay for your big show because that’s going to keep money rolling in. Typical TNA though, which is what makes it even worse.
Next up we’ll go to another country for AAA TripleMania XXIII. This is another tricky one as the action itself is overshadowed by the horrible production and technical issues. There’s no way around this as you could barely hear the show half the time due to the persistent buzzing, as well as the ending of the show being cut off. It didn’t help that Matt Striker was on commentary because he’s on EVERY PAY PER VIEW EVER anymore. These things were such major problems and it’s really hard to overlook them.
The other thing though is the show really wasn’t very good. There are definitely worse shows and the double main event was solid enough to keep it from being a runaway disaster but the rest of the show just bombed. It felt like a tribute to wrestlers and feuds from twenty years ago and that doesn’t make for an entertaining three hours, at least not for outside fans. When you have bad technical issues and bad wrestling, it’s really hard to defend a show.
Then there’s TNA’s other pay per view: Bound For Glory. Just like last year’s FAR worse show from Japan, this show had almost no time to set anything up because of the screwy taping schedule and that still stupid GFW invasion. Other than that though, the former Brodus Clay won one of the worst matches in years in a 25 minute gauntlet match, Kurt Angle got another big win because he needs it so badly and then Matt Hardy won the World Title. Why? BECAUSE HE’S MATT FREAKING HARDY AND A LEGEND THAT YOU ALL CARE ABOUT!
Bound For Glory didn’t need to exist, was thrown together, and then wound up meaning nothing because the World Title was vacated less than two days later for the sake of setting up the World Title Series. How annoyed do you think the fans who actually paid for this show were when they found out that none of this actually mattered? TNA isn’t in a place to cater to its live audience this much but they do it time after time no matter what.
Finally we have Survivor Series, where WWE also had the chance to reshape things with a tournament. This went well enough with two watchable matches and then a bad main event. Sheamus cashing in Money in the Bank made things even worse because, just like the Bound For Glory main event, whatever you saw on the show wound up meaning nothing. At least WWE didn’t really hide the fact that the cash-in was coming, though it didn’t make it much better.
The show had another big draw though in the Undertaker/Kane vs. the Wyatt Family. This was also everything the fans were expecting: a dull match, a predictable ending, and another big waste of time that could have led somewhere but wound up being another way to praise some older guys who are only so interesting in the first place. After that all you had was a pretty boring midcard and that made for a horrible show.
Overall…..I think I’ll take Survivor Series over TripleMania here. Survivor Series at least had the potential to be something while the AAA show really felt like it was just there and if it happened to be good then so be it. One of the major WWE shows should be worth watching though and when you take away any of the impact, some good to pretty good wrestling just isn’t worth it.
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Slammiversary 2015 Date: June 28, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero, Mike Tenay
This should be an interesting one as the company has already taped the next month’s worth of TV before this show, but at the same time there’s some interesting stuff going on here too. The main event (in theory) is the King of the Mountain match with Jeff Jarrett returning for one more match (allegedly). Let’s get to it.
We open with the highlight package over the years. Of course this means mainly focusing on Sting, Hogan and Angle.
X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Manik vs. Tigre Uno
Tigre is defending in an elimination match with Tigre starting fast until he sends everyone to the floor for a big dive. Back in and Manik slams the champ down and we hit a chinlock, basically defeating the purpose of the entire division. DJZ tries to break up a springboard and eats a dropkick to the face for his efforts. Serves him right. Back in and Manik knees DJZ in the face because he’s still not over that broken springboard.
Manik suplexes the champ down but it’s DJZ coming back in with some nice flips and a wristdrag/headscissors combo to take both guys down. A running double knee puts all three guys down and Dinero drops a Contra Code reference. It’s DJZ up first with a modified Tower of Doom as he hits a Sliced Bread off an electric chair, only to have Tigre nail him in the face and hit a twisting split legged moonsault for the elimination at 9:45. Pope referred to it as a move that is difficult to describe.
The champ misses a top rope stomp but gets his knees up to block a splash. His rollup gets two and Manik hits a nice twisting chest buster, followed by a frog splash for two. There’s nothing going on between these spots. Back up and Tigre mostly misses a corkscrew moonsault but it’s enough to put Manik away and retain the title at 12:09.
Rating: C. This was the spotiest spotfest that I’ve seen since…..well since the last Ring of Honor show I saw. Again, there’s no story or reason to have this match other than to say “hey here’s an X-Division Title match”. Tigre is fine as a high flying champion, but they need a story to give us a reason to care about the guy.
Robbie E. says tonight is serious. He’s been here five years (not quite) and it’s time to stop the dancing and being a goof.
We recap the BroMans’ split, which is all about Jesse claiming that it was his work that made the team a success.
Robbie E. vs. Jesse Godderz
Jesse is officially “The Man”. Before the match they keep up the stalling with Jesse bragging about his success as the fans let him know that they don’t care. Robbie, with new music, cuts him off and beats Jesse up at ringside before doing the same inside. A big backdrop sets up a dive onto Jesse as this is all E. so far.
Godderz finally hits a powerslam on the floor but can’t get Robbie up for what looked like a gutwrench suplex. Instead a backbreaker gets two and we hit the bearhug on Robbie. That goes as far as a bearhug is going to go in 2015 and Robbie comes back with a middle rope cross body.
E. wins a slugout but gets caught in a buckle bomb, only to have a double clothesline put both guys down. This time Jesse’s regular powerbomb gets two and the Adonis Lock (Boston crab) goes on, only to have Robbie make the ropes without too much effort. Robbie comes right back with a reverse DDT for a quick pin at 11:18.
Rating: C-. The match was decent enough with Jesse working on the back and then they just went to the finish out of nowhere. Jesse’s push is now a big waste but at least they’re giving someone young like Robbie a nice push. Now to be fair I can’t imagine them doing anything with it and there’s probably going to be a rematch, which is actually match #5, but this wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world. Technically fine, but the story is nothing all that entertaining.
Matt Hardy says he’ll win tonight.
Bram vs. Matt Morgan
Morgan returned as a surprise on Wednesday. Before the match, Matt wants it to be a street fight and Bram is all like “Okey dokey”, but with a British accent. Morgan runs him over to start and they head to the floor to actually make it a fight. Bram comes back with his big metal hook to take over, followed by some trashcan shots to the head. Back in as this match is clearly just more filler.
Morgan calls for a chokeslam but opts to Carbon Footprint a trashcan into Bram’s face. The big man can’t follow up though so Bram goes around the ring to look for a special weapon. He FINALLY picks a few chairs but gets chokeslammed onto one of them for two. That’s it for Morgan though as the Brighter Side of Suffering onto the chair gives Bram the pin at 9:30.
Rating: D+. Well at least they didn’t job Bram. I guess the blueprint part is just physical because this would be REALLY STUPID for Morgan to pick as a stipulation. The match was your standard hardcore brawl as this show continues to feel like a house show that they taped and aired here. Morgan looked fine but I don’t expect him to be back longer than maybe one more appearance at most. Nothing special here, as usual tonight.
Ethan Carter III and Tyrus don’t like JB correcting them. They try to rip his hair off but it’s real. This was basically just a plug for Wednesday’s World Title match.
Austin Aries vs. Davey Richards
The winner gets to pick the stipulation for the fifth match in the Tag Team Title series. Aries takes him down to start but then runs to the corner to hide. They trade some standing switches until Aries bails to the floor to avoid a kick to the head. Back in and Aries plants him with an STO of all things but won’t use the Pendulum Elbow.
A wristlock doesn’t get Aries anywhere as Davey dropkicks him out to the floor for some more stalling. Richards wins a chase and hammers him against the barricade but Austin comes back with a shot of his own, setting up a top rope ax handle to take over. Back in and the slingshot hilo gets two for Austin, followed by a handspring elbow for the same. Some kicks to the chest make Davey growl a bit, allowing him to come back with a kick to the chest and a German suplex.
Aries seems to be looking for a tag, because a guy who has primarily wrestled as a singles guy for years and recently reformed a tag team can’t remember how a one on one match works. Aries takes him to the floor for a big dive and nails a missile dropkick, setting up the Last Chancery.
As usual it doesn’t work (it rarely did when he was a face either) but the brainbuster doesn’t either with Davey countering into a falcon’s arrow for two. They slug it out until Davey throws him into the air for a kick to the chest, followed by the top rope double stomp (to the arm) for two more. Cue Bobby Roode and Eddie Edwards for a distraction, allowing Aries to roll Davey up for the pin at 17:28.
Rating: B. That’s probably going to be the match of the night as we’re definitely in One Night Only territory here. This was a match that didn’t change a thing but at least was entertaining while it lasted. Everyone is trying on this show, but there’s only so much you can do to overcome the power of indifference.
The Dirty Heels pick a 30 minute Iron Man match. In case you hadn’t seen these teams fight enough yet.
Eric Young says he’ll win.
Dollhouse vs. Brooke/Awesome Kong
Before the match the Dollhouse says they’re better looking so they’ll win. Kong is in a full body outfit this time. Taryn chokes Kong to start but all three Dolls are sent into the corner for a big triple splash. They officially start with Jade having no luck against Kong with a Marti having to break up a cover off a splash. Brooke comes in off the hot tag and cleans house before things settle down with Marti taking over.
Back to Jade for a bearhug, which is in no way an excuse to get Brooke’s trunks to ride up. The referee misses a tag to Kong but it goes through a few seconds later, allowing Kong to destroy the Dollhouse (sans Taryn) just like she did before. Brooke clotheslines both of them down as Kong goes after Taryn, leaving Brooke to hit a top rope facebuster (the Butterface Maker. Just go with it) for the pin at 8:23.
Rating: D. No point to the match, basically no Taryn, and just a step above a squash. The Dollhouse is already crumbling but we can get like six years of the Beautiful People. At least it’s not Gail Kim doing her least interesting stuff again, because I don’t think I can handle another major push for her.
Magnus doesn’t hate James Storm even though he wants to. Tonight he has to believe that love is stronger than hate, even if he loves the way hate feels. The devil can’t catch him tonight because he’s already inside. Good line to end this. It makes little sense but good line. Also, you would think that the whole attempted murder thing might have fired Magnus up more.
Long recap of Magnus vs. Storm. Basically Storm was all friendly but was just trying to get Mickie James to join the Revolution but she turned him down so Storm tried to kill her by shoving her in front of a train. Now it’s time for a match.
James Storm vs. Magnus
Unsanctioned so anything goes. They slug it out at ringside to start before heading into the crowd with Magnus taking over. Storm slams him through a table of food and grabs a beer bottle but stops to spit on the announcers, allowing Magnus to come back with right hands. They get back inside with a table being set up but Storm hits him low.
Magnus doesn’t seem to mind as he catapults Storm’s face into the bottom of the table for a unique spot. It’s off to the back of the arena again as a production guy repeatedly tells them that there’s high voltage back there. Magnus is thrown into a box and the video screen goes to a test pattern. That goes nowhere so they head back to the ring with the Eye of the Storm being countered into a powerbomb through the table for two.
Storm comes back with an Orton hanging DDT but stops to set up another table on the floor. Instead of putting Magnus through the table though, Storm yells at Earl Hebner, allowing Magnus to make a comeback. Magnus misses a top rope elbow through the table and crashes onto the concrete. That’s only good for two of course so Storm pulls out some powder.
Magnus comes back for like the tenth time but the powder goes into Earl’s eyes, meaning there’s no count off the Spine Shaker. Instead the Last Call gets two so it’s cowbell time, but Magnus hits another Spine Shaker for two. END THIS ALREADY! Now the cowbell connects and another Last Call gets another two.
Storm sets up two chairs with a piece of barricade bridged between. Magnus superplexes him through the barricade and, say it with me, it gets two. Both guys get bottles and connect at the same time with Storm falling on top for the pin (despite Magnus being on the barricade and therefore his shoulders not being on the mat) at 16:38.
Rating: C+. The match was trying but they went WAY too far and long out there as it was almost a copy of the Rusev vs. Cena match at Payback. Yeah they beat each other up a lot but I lost interest about halfway through. This felt like it was about four matches packed into one, but at least it was a fun brawl. The start was pretty lame though as they were just kind of walking around and trying to figure out what to do.
Drew Galloway says he’ll win, just like the Rising this Wednesday in the final battle with the BDC. Another match that should have aired here.
The audio is screwed up because of the electrical stuff earlier on. Thankfully we’re treated to a long shot of the production crew cleaning up the debris from the previous match and then a shot of the announcers.
Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Mr. Anderson/Lashley
There’s no commentary and Anderson’s mic doesn’t work. It starts up again as Anderson and Carter start things off with Ethan being taken into the corner for a beating and a spear. Lashley can’t quite suplex him over the first time but Tyrus gets in a surprise chokeslam to take over. Tyrus comes in for some shots to the neck as Tenay talks about Anderson and Lashley feuding over the ECW and US Titles.
Anderson comes in with jabs as we’re treated to Pope talking about his time in OVW. His feud down there with Matt Morgan is the least interesting feud that I have ever seen so I wouldn’t brag much about it. Commentary keeps cutting out, leaving us to analyze Carter’s chinlock on Anderson with no guidance. Lashley comes in off the hot tag to clean house again with a running powerslam getting two on Carter. Anderson and Lashley slug away on Tyrus but he (mostly) suplexes them both down. Carter runs back in for the 1%er on Lashley for the pin at 10:12.
Rating: D. Standard Impact main event here but this show has already sucked all the life out of me so I couldn’t get into things. Carter winning is the only logical move here to help set up the title match on Wednesday, even though they already had him pin Lashley and Anderson. It’s almost like this match was thrown together with the best logic they could think and it still wasn’t enough.
The announcers preview King of the Mountain. Jarrett is treated as an invader.
Jarrett says he can’t believe he’s back here but wants to take this to a global level.
King of the Mountain Title: Drew Galloway vs. Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode vs. Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Jarrett
It’s the old Legends/TV/Global Title with a new plate. The rules here aren’t exactly simple. You win by climbing the ladder and hanging the title, but in order to do that you have to earn a fall to be qualified with falls counting anywhere. Whoever is pinned must go to a penalty box for two minutes. We get big match intros with JB saying Drew is standing in the corner to his left. He’s kneeling but close enough. Jarrett is introduced by his old nickname: the King of the Mountain.
Jarrett stands back as everyone brawls to start. It’s Roode going after Jarrett first but eating a backdrop, followed by Young taking a beating as well. Jarrett goes for a strut but Roode rolls him up for a pin to become eligible and to send Jarrett to the penalty box for two minutes. Matt Side Effects Roode for two as Jarrett escapes….only to be covered by Young to become eligible. Everyone brawls inside and get sent into the ladder until Jarrett gets out.
Young hits Jarrett low but gets rolled up by Galloway for a pin. Matt hits a Twist of Fate for a pin on Roode at the same time, sending both Young and Roode to the box at the same time. Only Jarrett is unqualified at this point. Hardy and Galloway fight on the ladder (yeah remember the whole ladder part of this match?) but Jeff shoves them both down and Strokes Galloway for two with Hardy making the save.
Jeff covers Matt for two more as Young and Roode are making a pact in the box. Both guys get out and clean house before stopping to sing O Canada as we flash back ten years. Young tries to turn on Roode and gets Cactus Clotheslined out to the floor. Galloway and Hardy go to the ropes but get powerbombed down by Jarrett, only to have Roode and Young steal pins to keep Jarrett ineligible. It’s a three way fight now with Young vs. Roode vs. Jarrett with Eric getting the best of it and grabbing a guitar, only to have Jeff take it away and knock Bobby silly to become eligible.
Galloway and Hardy get out and fight over possession of the belt but knock each other down, leaving Jarrett to climb up. Young pulls him down with a powerbomb and a piledriver onto a ladder, followed by Roode coming out of the box. Galloway climbs on top of the cage for a big flip dive to put all five guys down. It’s Drew climbing again and Matt pulling him down again. Just to keep up the idea of the match of course. Roode stops Hardy and goes up but Young makes the save with another ladder. Jarrett and Young go up with Jeff hitting a Stroke off the ladders, allowing him to hang the title for the win at 20:56.
Rating: D+. So in case you don’t get it, here’s the story: TNA is freaking out that an invader (who they invited) is going to take a title that they just invented to another company which they basically advertise for free on their TV show. Oh and Jarrett is a face because he’s a legend in TNA and therefore the announcers panicking really doesn’t fit with what’s going on. The match was your standard King of the Mountain mess with the most obvious winner in the history of obvious winners.
Overall Rating: D. That’s the worst part: the show wasn’t even that horrible. It’s in one of the worst categories possible though: the show that didn’t need to exist and underwhelmed. There were some good matches on here and the stories were actually current so it blows last year’s Bound For Glory out of the water, but my goodness this show felt like it was going on for days. It’s not a good show and it’s clear that this company is in complete free fall as they seem to have no idea what they’re supposed to do next.
I know the TV is taped for a month or so, but they really, really need to nail them because this show felt like the last time we’re going to see these guys. With a lot of these people leaving too, things are looking very, very bleak for TNA and they don’t really seem to notice. If Jarrett leaving with a freshly made midcard title for a promotion that has held about four shows is their big story, they’re in major, major trouble.
Results
Tigre Uno b. Manik and DJZ – Corkscrew moonsault to Manik
Robbie E. b. Jesse Godderz – Reverse DDT
Bram b. Matt Morgan – Brighter Side of Suffering onto a chair
Austin Aries b. Davey Richards – Rollup
James Storm b. Magnus – Beer bottle to the head
Tyrus/Ethan Carter III b. Lashley/Mr. Anderson – 1%er to Lashley
Jeff Jarrett b. Matt Hardy, Drew Galloway, Eric Young and Bobby Roode – Jarrett hung the title belt
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
More spoilers of course.http://www.wrestlezone.com/news/591993-two-more-big-names-leaving-tna
In this case it’s Awesome Kong and Taryn Terrell, who have taped matches for the upcoming TV shows.
We’re at a point where there either has to be something up with this or TNA is pretty much done. There better be an invasion angle with most of these names going to GFW or something like that, because otherwise TNA has just lost nine wrestlers in a week.
