Monday Night Raw
Date: December 8, 2014
Location: Bon Secours Wellness Arena, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the Slammys! These shows used to be a highlight of the year but now they’re just there as a background for a usually boring show. However, there’s usually a good ending to these shows but with tonight being the go home show for Sunday’s TLC show, it’s hard to say how big of a surprise we’re going to get. Let’s get to it.

We start with a Tonight On Raw preview, focusing on Cena vs. Big Show in the main event.

Jerry Lawler brings out Seth Green to host the show. Seth says this is our awards show and you can vote for the winners of the awards on the WWE App. Miz and Mizdow cut him off though (minus the belts). The amusing thing here is that Green is 5’4 so they TOWER over him. Miz gives a pitch about being the A-lister Seth needs, but Green says Mizdow is the real A-lister. Mizdow smiles but Miz cuts him off, only to have Damien do a “call me” sign behind Miz’s back. Anyway they’re here for the THIS IS AWESOME Award. The nominees:

Occupy Raw

Stephanie McMahon getting arrested for slapping Brie

The Authority being eliminated/Sting debuting

Steve Austin, The Rock and Hulk Hogan opening Wrestlemania

We’ll get the winner after the first match.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins

Ziggler backdrops him to the floor and we take a break thirty seconds in. Back with Rollins in control and driving a knee into Dolph’s ribs. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Dolph sends him face first into the buckle to get a breather. The Stinger Splash and elbow drop get two but Seth blocks the running DDT. Ziggler counters the buckle bomb into a sunset flip and now the running DDT is good for two. Back up and they head to the corner with Ziggler shrugging Dolph down, only to have the Stooges shove him off, setting up the Curb Stomp for the pin at 7:20.

Rating: C. They didn’t have time to do anything but at least Ziggler didn’t lose clean. I can live with a heel cheating to win and beating a hot star, evne though he’s going into an Intercontinental Title shot this coming Sunday. Why would we need to keep Ziggler strong for something like that?

Sting debuting wins the THIS IS AWESOME Award. Of course Sting isn’t here so Seth is going to accept on his behalf, but Seth comes up and takes the trophy because Sting is responsible for the Authority being gone and Seth deserves it.

Here are some Slammys awarded on the pre-show:

Insult of the Year – Rock insulting Lana and Rusev

Tag Team of the Year – Usos

Breakout Star of the Year – Dean Ambrose

Hashtag of the Year – RKOOUTTANOWHERE

Fan Participation – YOU SOLD OUT to Seth Rollins

Kofi Kingston vs. Stardust

Stardust takes Kofi down to start and steps on his chest before the referee breaks it up in the ropes. A chinlock goes as far as you would expect it to and Kofi fights up with a hurricanrana. Some dropkicks put Starudust down and the NEW DAY Drop (no more Boom) sets up a running knee in the corner. A high cross body is enough to pin Stardust at 2:58.

Johnny Ace is presenting Surprise Return of the Year. After suggesting the People Power replace the Authority, here are the nominees:

Hulk Hogan

Batista

The Rock

Ultimate Warrior

Winner announced after How To Download The App and a break. After we’re back, Ultimate Warrior wins.

Rollins is in the back with the Stooges when the run into Paul Heyman. Seth sends the Stooges away so he can talk to Heyman about the tables match. He thinks he might be next in line to face the Beast after he beats Cena, but promises that his cash-in will come when Lesnar and Heyman least expect it. Heyman is fine with that, but his client might as well be champion for life. However, that doesn’t stop Rollins from being the future. John Cena is standing in his way, so if Rollins wants to be the future, he needs to make sure that Cena is stuck in the past. Rollins seems to like the idea.

Video on NXT Women’s Champion Charlotte.

Charlotte vs. Natalya

Non-title of course. We get a WOO to start and Charlotte drives knees into the ribs to start. She stomps Natalya down against the ropes but gets caught in a quick choke to slow her down. That’s fine with Charlotte who just pounds away at her face. A slap makes Charlotte even madder but Natalya takes out the legs as they hit the mat. Charlotte drops her again with a wicked chop and drops a hard knee for two. Natalya tries the Sharpshooter but gets countered into the Figure Four, which is countered into a small package to give Natalya the pin at 2:30.

Tyson Kidd takes the spotlight like he did at Survivor Series.

Santino presents the OMG Shocking Moment of the Year. He says he was shocked just now by seeing Luke Harper take a shower. Usually he’s watching the Divas take showers….but he’s not a creep. The nominees are:

Seth Sells Out

Nikki Turns On Brie

Bray Wyatt’s Children’s Choir

The Streak Is Conquered

The winner is of course the Streak being conquered. Lesnar’s music plays but we get Heyman instead for a very brief acceptance speech without saying anything of note.

Here’s Bray Wyatt to talk about seeing her for the first time in that rocking chair beneath the Cypress tree. We see Dean destroying the chair last week and Bray says Dean destroyed something that can’t be replaced. That leads us to Dean having his throat crushed on Smackdown in retaliation. Bray asks if that shocks or frightens us. No one here knows what they’re dealing with and he despises all of us.

If you get too close to him, you will get burned by his fire as he stands on top of that ladder. Bray won’t allow us to cry for him though as Dean deserves what’s coming. He repeats Tables Ladders and Chairs over and over again until an ambulance drives into the arena. Dean pops out in a neck brace and pulls a table out of the ambulance. He throws it on the ramp before pulling out a ladder and chair to go with it.

There goes the neck brace and Dean drags the ladder and chair to the ring. He throws the chair in and nails Bray in the ribs with the ladder. Dean throws in a chair and hits Bray square in the head with it. A table comes in as well but Wyatt rolls to the floor. Dean lays on the table with the chair over him. Bray comes back down and gets another chair thrown at him. This Sunday, Dean is going to become the monster and eat Bray alive.

Seth Green brings out Jerry Lawler to present Diva of the Year. The nominees are:

Brie Bella

Nikki Bella

AJ Lee

Paige

The girls are shown in the back when Titus O’Neil shows up in a tuxedo for some reason. AJ wins and nothing seems to come of the cameo. She says that she promised to redefine the term Diva three years ago. Next year she hopes that next year, it’s Bayley, Sasha Banks, Charlotte, Emma or Paige is up here on the throne. She’s not done being queen though and will get her title back this week.

Cena talks about Vince telling Austin that the locker room needs to step up. That might fire up Seth Rollins, so maybe Rollins wants Big Show to wear him out tonight. This Sunday, Rollins has to put him through a table, which is good for Seth because he can’t pin Cena or make him tap out. If Cena can’t win this Sunday, maybe it’s time for him to step down so Seth can step up. Tonight he’s going to slam a giant and shake South Carolina because his time isn’t up yet. This Sunday, Rollins goes through a table.

Erick Rowan vs. Luke Harper

Non-title and Harper brings a ladder with him. It’s a slugout to start with Rowan getting the better of it and nailing a running splash in the corner. That’s fine with Harper who nails a dropkick for one before kicking Erick in the head. The Gator Roll doesn’t get Luke anywhere as Rowan pops back up and nails some clotheslines. A full nelson slam gets two on Harper and they head outside with Luke hitting Rowan with the ladder for the DQ at 2:05.

Post match Rowan fights back and starts throwing the stairs into the ring. Harper takes a big shot to the head and bails.

The Usos come up to Naomi to celebrate their Slammys. Jimmy says it’s the second best thing to happen to him all year after marrying her. Naomi has been talking to Miz’s agent and apparently it went well. Uso isn’t sure but Naomi has a screen test later this week. That’s fine with Jimmy but he’s going to Hollywood with her because Miz is involved in this somehow. Naomi interprets this as Jimmy not trusting her.

Adam Rose comes out to present LOL Moment of the Year. The Bunny won Animal of the Year earlier. Rose thinks he should be hosting and says the fans know nothing when they disagree. The nominees are:

Mr. T.’s Mother’s Day message at the Hall of Fame ceremony

WeeLC

Mizdow the Stunt Double

Vickie Guerrero knocking Stephanie into pudding

The Bunny tries to open the envelope but Rose gives us Mizdow for the win. Here he is along with Miz (and the belts this time), who actually lets Mizdow have some spotlight for a bit. It’s only for a bit though as Miz takes the trophy and says he can make us go through all these emotions because he’s an actor. Miz: “I hear you. You want MIZ NOW and you’re getting MIZ NOW!” Miz thanks the only one that has been there for him since day one: the moneymaker. Mizdow doesn’t seem that offended.

Here are some other winners.

Faction of the Year – Shield

Rivalry of the Year – Bryan vs. Authority

Raw Guest Star of the Year – Jackman

Twitter Handle of the Year – @HeelZiggler

Couple of the Year – Bryan/Brie Bella

Here are Lana and Rusev for a chat. Lana runs down the American economy and President Obama before moving on to the Real Americans. Lana: “That is an LOL moment!” Cue Swagger, who will be challenging Rusev for the title on Sunday, to say that Rusev broke Colter’s leg, so he’s going to snap Rusev’s ankle. Jack charges and ducks the running superkick before dropping the ankle on the barricade. There’s the Patriot Lock on the floor and Rusev kind of taps until referees make the save.

New Day vs. Goldust/Stardust on Sunday’s pre-show.

Usos/Ryback vs. Kane/Miz/Damien Mizdow

Seth Green is on commentary. Kane slams Ryback to start as Seth talks about Battlestar Galactica. The Usos come in to start in on the arm but the announcers are too busy taking pictures. Off to Miz to stomp away on Jey before a headlock takes the actor down. Lawler has to get the announcers back on the match as Cole does his traditional driving off a cliff of a tangent. Jey hammers away on Miz and grabs a suplex, so Mizdow comes in and mimes getting hit in the face before raising his arm like he’s about to be suplexed. He flips over then dives over the top after Miz is sent flying.

Back from a break with Kane holding Jey in a chinlock before it’s off to Miz for a Reality Check. Jey finally breaks free and tags in Ryback to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Usos escape a double chokeslam and nail Kane with a double superkick. Jey dives onto Kane but Jimmy gets low bridged to the floor when charging at Miz. The Meathook and Shell Shock end Miz at 9:52.

Rating: C. This was a quick match that combined the two feuds into one and there’s nothing wrong with that. Jimmy vs. Miz is at least a fresh story and something that fits the characters instead of being shoehorned in. Ryback continues to get a push, even though he’s lost some momentum after that performance at Survivor Series.

Green celebrates with the winners.

We look back at the first Slammys in 1986.

Here’s Ricky Steamboat to present Match of the Year. He gives a very nice speech about what it means to have a classic match to introduce the nominees.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton vs. Batista – Wrestlemania XXX

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt – Payback

Shield vs. Evolution – Extreme Rules

Team Cena vs. Team Authority – Survivor Series

Team Cena vs. Team Authority wins with Ziggler coming out to accept. Ziggler sounds very touched by this and says they’re going to build off of it because this belongs to all of the fans.

AJ Lee vs. Summer Rae

Summer mocks AJ for winning the award earlier and AJ goes right at her, only to eat a wheelbarrow slam for two. A spinwheel kick that misses by six inches gets two on AJ before we hit a quickly broken chinlock. AJ pops up and Black Widows Summer for the submission at 2:18.

Rob Van Dam is here to present the Extreme Moment of the Year. The nominees are:

Brock Lesnar’s 16 suplexes to John Cena

Kane tombstoning Bryan on the steps and the announcers’ table

Chris Jericho diving off the cage and onto Bray Wyatt

Seth Rollins Curb Stomps Dean Ambrose onto cinder blocks

Jericho wins and Fandango comes out to accept on his behalf. You’ll never forget his name you see.

Saint Mick does his merchandise shilling.

Big Show says no one is going to forgive him for what he does so he’s going to destroy Cena tonight.

Booker T. is presenting Superstar of the Year.

Dean Ambrose

Bray Wyatt

Roman Reigns

Brock Lesnar

Bray Wyatt

John Cena

Seth Rollins

After a break, the winner is Roman Reigns. He’s actually in the building tonight to accept the award and says this may not be the brass ring but it’s a step in the right direction. It doesn’t matter if you’re at the top of the stairs, he’s stepping up and you can believe that.

Chris Jericho is Guest GM next week.

John Cena vs. Big Show

Big Show’s music comes on at 11:00pm EST so this is going to be quick. Cena charges right at him and gets headbutted down. A shoulder bounces off Show and he chokes Cena on the ropes. Cena avoids a charge in the corner and grabs a DDT, only to walk into a side slam to put him right back down. Off to a bearhug for a bit before Cena jumps onto the giant’s back for a sleeper. Show flips him forward but misses the KO Punch, allowing Cena to hit a belly to back. The Shuffle is countered by a chokeslam but Cena slips out and AA’s Show for two as Rollins and the Stooges come in for the DQ at 5:43.

Rating: D. This was every Cena vs. Big Show match you’ve ever seen and with the ending that everyone and their mother (even Mr. T.’s) knew was coming. It’s not the worst match in the world, but what could they possibly do in less than six minutes with a completely telegraphed ending?

Rollins loads up a ladder for a super Curb Stomp but Ziggler makes the save. Cena and Ziggler beat up the Stooges but Big Show knocks them both out. Cue Rowan but Harper jumps him from behind. Show chokeslams him onto the steps so here’s Ryback for the late save. He posts Show and Meathooks Harper before setting up a table. The Shell Shock is broken up by Kane with a chair but Ziggler takes out Kane. Some superkicks drop Big Show, only to have Harper put Dolph through a table. Cena AA’s Harper, only to eat a Curb Stomp. Rollins loads up the announcers’ table and TripleBombs Cena through to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Well that happened. This was one of those shows where there just wasn’t anything to talk about. The Ambrose vs. Wyatt segment was good but it’s not enough to carry a three hour show. This was much more a go home show with a few other things going on in the background. Sunday should be fun but we really need to get to Wrestlemania season to breathe some life into this company again. The show wasn’t even horrible but there’s just nothing here worth seeing.

Results

Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler – Curb Stomp

Kofi Kingston b. Stardust – High cross body

Natalya b. Charlotte – Small package

Erick Rowan b. Luke Harper via DQ when Harper hit Rowan with a ladder

Usos/Ryback b. Miz/Damien Mizdow/Kane – Shell Shock to Miz

AJ Lee b. Summer Rae – Black Widow

John Cena b. Big Show via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 12, 2011
Location: Norfolk Scope Arena, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the Slammys! I used to love these things when I was a kid and they were so campy and entertaining. Now they’re just kind of here and they’re usually a way to have some minor stories set up for the next few weeks/months. The main event tonight is Cena vs. Henry, which somehow is a pretty big showdown. It’s also the go home show for TLC, which is kind of a minor aspect given the three hour nature of this. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Slammy presentation. This is for the Tell Me I Did Not Just See That Moment of the Year. Booker presents it…along with Horny. Horny has an afro wig and keeps doing chest bumps with Booker.

The nominees are:

JR dancing
Santino almost winning the Royal Rumble
A fan throws water at R-Truth
Miz impersonates Rock

It’s JR dancing. I can live with that as that was pretty awesome. JR comes out…and here’s Cole to cut him off because that’s what Cole does. Cole says JR is fat and Booker calls him a loser. Strap in people: Cole vs. Booker can go on for HOURS. Booker says JR can beat Cole in a rap off. Cole’s is awful and I think everyone expected that. JR says he doesn’t need music. His actually has something resembling a rhythm to it and there’s music to it anyway. And then he stops rhyming all together. Guess who the fans say win. This very well may have been the worst opening in the history of professional wrestling.

Oh and JR does a Spinarooni. Ok more like he looks like he has a heart attack and convulses on the mat for a bit.

Here are Foley and Ted DiBiase Senior to present the Holy Censored Moment of the Year. This pairing is about as awesome as anything in the history of, ahem, Mankind. They try to figure out why they’re paired together. DiBiase says that he is an ordained minister. Foley: “So if that makes you the holy, then I guess that makes me the…..” DiBise: *EVIL LAUGH*

The nominees are:

Sheamus powerbombs Sin Cara through a ladder
The RKO to a leaping Christian onto the steps
The ring breaking
Evan Bourne’s shooting star off the ladder

Gee I wonder what’s going to win. If you can’t figure this out, you fail. Show comes out to accept and thanks the Sports Entertainment Academy of Arts and Sports. He thinks the World Heavyweight Championship would look good next to the Slammy. Nice little promo for the match on Sunday and for his match which is next.

Big Show vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett says what he’ll do to Orton at TLC will earn him that award Big Show just won. Then again that award is for something unexpected and everyone knows what he’s going to do to Orton. After a break we’re joined in progress with Barrett on the floor trying to get up. There’s a table set up at ringside now. There’s also a chair and a ladder. Barrett avoids going through the table and hits a big boot to put Show’s head on the table.

Show gets up as Barrett is ready to jump and then the bald man breaks the table. With Barrett on the apron on the outside, Show chops him in the chest and knocks him into the ring. Barrett goes to the floor and brings in a chair. Show knocks it out of his hands….and wins by DQ at 1:38? It’s going to be one of those nights isn’t it?

Of all people, the Road Dogg is doing this one. Yes, that Road Dogg. He’s in a DX shirt and is doing the Pipe Bomb of the year, which I think is the weird moment of the year.

There aren’t any real nominees but more along the lines of a bunch of R-Truth moments plus a hand full of others. This is just a big comedy montage for all intents and purposes, which is a great reminder of some stuff, namely Punk and Truth. The winner is…..CM Punk. Ok I can live with that.

Punk comes out with….a mannequin? It’s got a blonde wig and a t-shirt that says…..OH MY GOODNESS IT’S A DYNAMIC DUDES SHIRT!!!!! Punk says that he wants to talk about something tonight that is a special cause. This person works behind the scenes and is incredibly boring, just like this mannequin. Naturally it’s Johnny Ace and Punk has a tribute video. It’s set to a song that I’ve heard before but can’t place. We get Dynamic Dudes clips in there too which makes this worth a smile. After the video Punk is trying not to crack up. He accepts the award on Punk’s behalf and does a decent impression of him.

Lita is here to present the Divalicious Moment of the Year. Yep she’s still hot. I don’t think half the people know who she is.

The nominees are:

Natalya putting the Sharpshooter on Eve and I think Alicia.
Kelly winning the Divas Title.
Kharma destroying Michelle.
Beth’s top rope Glam Slam to Eve.

Of course it goes to Kelly because she’s supposed to be some kind of female hero or something. Beth comes out to take the award from her and gets slapped.

Santino presents the OMG Moment of the Year. The Bellas are with him and they look good in those red dresses. After an argument over whether it’s o-m-g or OMG (pronounced like a word), here are the nominees.

HHH tombstones the Undertaker.
Rock Bottom to Cena at Mania.
The Walk Out.
Punk Leaves With The Title.

HHH wins. Are you freaking kidding me? He makes his big return with the hammer…and walks to the ring without his award. HHH says the real OMG moment was having Taker carried out for the first time in his career. He says the Undertaker is no more. HHH takes credit for ending the Streak. Are you kidding me? We get the video of Nash hitting him with the hammer a few months ago.

He says that maybe their 16 year relationship was based on lies and this Sunday all the lies and deceptions end. On Sunday he’ll show the world that he’s right and that Nash is simply done. Well he was done 13 years ago. Do we really need a match for that? HHH leaves and implies he’ll hit Santino with the hammer but lets him run instead.

Otunga and Tony Atlas are here for the Trending Superstar of the Year. Tony does the laugh as Otunga tries to be serious. The award goes to whichever superstar listed is trending on Twitter the fastest. Get this over with. They’ll be in a fatal fourway with the winner of the match meaning nothing but the first to be trending winning the Slammy.

Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder

Or is the winner of the match the winner of the award? Do they have any idea what’s going on here? Ryder and Bryan send the champs to the floor and hit stereo dives as we take a break. Back with Ryder and Bryan squaring off and they change the rules AGAIN, saying that it’s whoever trends first. THEN WHY HAVE THE MATCH??? Bryan and Ryder have a decent back and forth segment with them hitting cross bodies to put them both down.

Rhodes and Ziggler tease a staredown but think better of it so they can stomp the good guys. They get in a shoving match and Bryan tries to steal a pin. Rhodes and Bryan have a LONG pinfall reversal sequence but Bryan is sent to the floor. Ryder follows him and Ziggler tries to roll up Rhodes. Alabama Slam to Dolph gets two. They take a second break with Cody standing tall.

Back with Rhodes having Ryder in a Figure Four which doesn’t last long. Rhodes charges into some knees in the corner but Dolph breaks up the Broski Boot. Everyone is in the ring and everyone goes down. Beautiful Disaster hits Ziggler for two and Bryan goes off with the rapid fire kicks to Cody. Bryan goes up but gets crotched. Ziggler gets drilled by Ryder but stops Ryder as he goes up. Both heels hit superplexes and everyone is down again. Rough Ryder to Ziggler, Cross Rhodes to Ryder, LeBell Lock to Rhodes, Sleeper to Bryan, Zig Zag to Bryan and that gets the pin at 15:22.

Rating: B-. Fun match but as Lawler said, the match wasn’t important. What was important was trending on Twitter. That right there sums up almost everything that is wrong with Raw anymore. They’re so obsessed with getting people to notice them and accept them because they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and they have to tell us they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and it drives people crazy. And they wonder why no one buys their PPVs and why no one is watching their shows.

Ryder wins the award, because the match was pointless. He gets a Zig Zag for his efforts.

Christian returns to present Game Changer of the Year. He gives himself courageous moment of the year first of all. This is for one moment that changes everything. Here are the nominees.

HHH telling Vince and the pink jacket that he’s relieved of his duties.
Edge’s retirement speech.
Kevin Nash returns.
Rock and Cena making the main event of Mania a year early.

Cena and Rock win, as they probably should. Cena says he should only get half of the credit for this and introduces Rock. Oh wait this is a live show so he’s not here. “But he said he’d never leave!” We do have a satellite clip though. Oh wait no we don’t because he didn’t have time for that either. “This is worse than JR’s rap.” He apologizes for Team Bring It for not bringing it. However, this makes the award mean more because Rock is going to see this soon and hopefully it fires him up even more. This award is for changing the game for a year, but at Mania they change the game forever.

Alberto Del Rio/The Miz vs. CM Punk/Randy Orton

Punk vs. Miz starts us off. Off to Del Rio vs. Orton quickly and the Viper gets beaten down by both heels. We’re in standard tag formula mode quickly tonight. Punk gets a hot tag quickly and cleans house but the GTS is broken up, allowing Miz to guillotine Punk on the ropes as we take a break. Back with Punk backsliding Miz for two. Del Rio comes in and works over the arm a lot.

This is your usual main event style tag match: it’s the same formula with one guy getting beaten down for a long time until the other big face comes in off a hot tag and cleans house to set up the ending. The Finale and the GTS are countered but Punk’s kick to the head of Miz can’t get the tag. Barrett runs in through the crowd to take out Orton. Miz can’t hit the corner clothesline but he counters the GTS into the Finale for the clean pin on Punk at 12:42. Forget what I said about the formula I guess.

Rating: C-. The ending was a VERY nice surprise and it gives some heat to the main event on Sunday, which is certainly a good thing. Not a horrible match but Del Rio and Miz are pretty weak in the ring. Del Rio is boring all around but that goes without saying. It helped to push the title match though so that made it a lot better.

Miz and Del Rio beat up Punk post match and he gets put in the armbreaker using the ladder.

Vickie presents A-Lister of the Year. And here’s Goldust to present with her. He says she wears more makeup than she does.

The nominees are:

The Muppets
Hugh Jackman
Snooki
Cee-Lo Green

And it goes to Snooki because the WWE is stupid. She gives a pre-recorded message.

Mark Henry says he’ll do more to Big Show Sunday than he has already.

Here’s Sheamus but he’s interrupted by Jinder Mahal. Ok then. He rambles for awhile and gets his head kicked off. That’s it. There’s a referee there but there was no bell and no cover or anything.

Rey Mysterio comes out to present Superstar of the Year. The nominees are:

Orton
Miz
Henry
Punk
Del Rio
Cena

Ace comes out and accepts for him because he’s banged up.

Second Coming video. The word control flashes on the screen to end this.

We hear a story about a soldier in Afghanistan that hugged Vince when she saw him and opened her phone to show him her son with a WWE Title belt. Her son and husband are in the front row. That’s cool.

Mark Henry vs. John Cena

This is due to Cena costing Henry a win last week over Ryder. The bell rang at 1055 so this isn’t going to last long. We go to a break less than a minute in. Back with Henry in control,. Cena tries a slam but falls backwards. Off to a neck vice but Cena suplexes his way out of it. He hits the Shuffle but collapses on an AA attempt which gets two for Mark. Henry calls Cena Mr. USA I think.

Cena avoids a powerslam and hammers away but the shoulders don’t put Henry down. Instead Cena jumps into a bearhug and he’s in trouble. He escapes for a few seconds and hits the Slam but falls down afterwards. Then some fire goes off and KANE is back. He has a modified version of the old music and looks like he’s wearing a metal mask. He chokeslams Cena and I guess it’s thrown out at we’ll say 9 minutes. The mask looks ridiculous, but he takes it off post chokeslam to reveal a more traditional one. There’s Cena’s match for Sunday I guess.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but the end was the whole point of it. Kane was someone that needed to return, if nothing else to give Cena something to do on Sunday. The mask being back….why? His video has the shot of him not in a mask, but he’s wearing one here. I don’t get it, but that sums up most of WWE at this point for me.

Overall Rating: D+. This show didn’t do it for me. I mean it really didn’t do it for me. The awards were pretty weak and while there were a few nice surprises, they didn’t really help get the show going, at least not for me. It wasn’t bad and I’ve definitely seen worse stuff, but this didn’t do much. The crowd didn’t care but I think that’s due to the nature of the show more than anything else. Too much talking too and not a good show overall, but it had its spots. Nice surprise at the end too.

Results
Big Show b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Barrett used a chair
Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes and Zach Ryder – Zig Zag to Bryan
The Miz/Alberto Del Rio b. Randy Orton/CM Punk – Skull Crushing Finale to Punk
John Cena vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when Kane interfered

Here’s TLC if you’re interested:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 9, 2013
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s Slammy night which usually means we’re in for anything from fun to annoyance, all while using the awards as props. It’s also the go home show for TLC, meaning we’re going to get a lot of Cena and Orton staring at each other while talking about what their belts mean. Also expect a lot of cameos. Let’s get to it.

The opening is like a big time awards show, talking about what will be announced tonight and talking about who will be here.

Jerry Lawler and Booker T are hosting the awards while Cole and JBL handle commentary.

We open with an explanation of how to download the WWE App. Expect to hear that a lot tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Fandango

Bryan is the hometown boy and has a new shirt. Daniel leapfrogs Fandango to start and dropkicks him down but gets kneed in the ribs for two. Fandango suplexes Bryan down, only to be sent face first into the middle buckle. Bryan pounds him down and hooks the surfboard knee crusher followed by a kick to the chest for two. A sidestep sends Bryan to the floor but Fandango misses a dive, setting up the FLYING GOAT. Bryan hits a running dropkick up against the barricade and we head back inside. Fandango is staggered but manages to catch Bryan coming off the top in a sitout powerbomb for two as we take a break.

Back with Bryan hitting the running clothesline and shaking like the reincarnated Ultimate Warrior. There are the YES Kicks as the Washington crowd goes nuts. The big kick misses so badly that Cole has to acknowledge it but Bryan gets two anyway. Bryan misses the running dropkick in the corner and gets suplexed down for two. Fandango misses the guillotine legdrop but Bryan hits the Swan Dive followed by the running knee to the face for the pin at 9:18.

Rating: C. Better match than I was expecting here with Bryan making Fandango look like a million bucks. That’s what Bryan might be best at and now he has the credibility to give anyone on the roster a rub. Good match here and it’s nice to see Fandango not look like a complete jobber every time he’s out there.

Post match we’ve got Bray on the screen. He doesn’t like Bryan’s unwillingness to comply and the clock is ticking. Bray doesn’t want to watch Bryan suffer because in his world, there are no happy endings or fairy tales. This story ends the same way that it started. Bray needs Bryan to know that he’s going to hurt Bryan bad and prove that Bryan is a monster just like him. In that moment, Bray can take all of Bryan’s pain away, if he’ll join the Family. The lights go out again and the fans chant NO.

Here are Jerry and Booker for our first award of the night. Up first is the Laugh Out Loud Award, presented by the New Age Outlaws, clad in powder blue and neon orange tuxedos, complete with top hats ala Dumb and Dumber. Road Dogg can talk just as fast as he used to. They do some of their schtick but get cut off by a ONE MORE MATCH chant. Billy tries to do the catchphrase but gets cut off.

The nominees are:

Vickie Guerrero being fired and freaking out

Titus O’Neil eating too much and getting sick in JBL’s hat

The Cobra being caught between Jinder Mahal’s and Great Khali’s snake charm flutes

Rock singing about Vickie Guerrero

Apparently we have to wait for the winner to be announced later because voting is still going on.

Back from a break and Rock wins the award. Vickie comes out to take the trophy and say the award represents her beauty.

Damien Sandow vs. Santino Marella

Santino starts with his power walk as Langston is on commentary. Sandow stomps Santino down and puts on a quick chinlock. Santino comes back with his hiptoss and the headbutt before loading up the Cobra. Damien legsweeps him down though and You’re Welcome ends this at 2:30.

Langston and Sandow stare each other down post match.

Shield, wearing suits, are here to present Double Cross of the Year. Before the nominees, Shield recommends never double crossing them. Ambrose cuts Reigns off and Roman doesn’t look pleased. The nominees are:

Mark Henry faking retirement

Shawn Michaels superkicking Daniel Bryan inside the Cell

Paul Heyman costing CM Punk MITB

HHH Pedigreeing Daniel Bryan at Summerslam

The winner is again after a break.

Post break and Shawn Michaels wins. Shawn thinks it’s ironic that he double crossed people for 25 years and wins an award four years after he retired. The fans chant YOU SOLD OUT and Shawn said he did that years ago which is why he’s still here. Shawn didn’t come off like a heel here but he wasn’t the nicest guy in the world.

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

This is another match we don’t need to see again. Kofi gets in a running kick to start but runs into a knee in the corner. A big boot puts Miz down and a few knees to the head get two each. Trouble in Paradise misses and Miz bails to the floor as a result. Miz tries to walk out but Kofi chases him down and blasts Miz in the back of the head. Back in and a springboard shot to the back of Miz’s head gets two. Miz counters a rollup and kicks him into the buckle and rolls Kofi up with a handful of tights for the pin at 2:38. Pretty messy match.

Post match Kofi kicks Miz in the head like a sore loser.

Eve Torres returns to present Diva of the Year. The nominees are:

The Bella Twins

Funkadactyls

Kaitlyn

Natalya

Eva Marie

AJ Lee

After a break the Bella Twins win and are booed out of the building.

Rey Mysterio/Big Show/Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel

Ryback pounds Mysterio down to start but Rey slides through his legs and kicks Ryback in the face. The big guy heads outside to avoid the 619 and heads back inside to face the Big Show. Ryback is shoved into the corner and chopped in the chest before it’s off to Goldust for an elbow drop. Back from a break with Rey spinning Cesaro down with a headscissors before it’s back to Goldust.

Goldie is dragged into the corner and beaten down by Swagger, only to come back with the uppercut to the jaw. Swagger sends him to the floor so Cesaro can clothesline Goldust down for two. Off to Axel for a dropkick and an elbow for two before it’s back to Ryback for some pounding. Swagger puts on a front facelock as we hear about the Ascension Ceremony later tonight. There will be 20 world champions around the ring as the titles are raised into the air for the last time….except for Sunday but at least it’s something new.

Cesaro double stomps Goldust for two and we hit the chinlock. Goldust fights up and powerslams Cesaro down, only to be sent into the corner for a beating from Swagger. The Real Americans both come in but get caught in a double DDT to put everyone down. The hot tag brings in Cody to face Axel as house is cleaned. A springboard missile dropkick puts Axel down and there’s the moonsault press for two as everything breaks down. Big Show spears various heels and Rey tags himself in. The Disaster kick sets up the 619 and the top rope splash pins Axel at 11:40.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t bad but these matches throwing Goldust/Cody vs. any combination of heels are going to stop working eventually. Big Show and Mysterio don’t work for me as a team as they’ve done the big man/little man combination so many times that it just doesn’t hold up.

How to download the WWE App The Sequel!

Booker and Jerry bring out Shawn Michaels to present Superstar of the Year. First though, Shawn declares himself Mr. Slammy. Also, since Shawn was always giving A+ performances, maybe we should call the award the H-B-Shizzle? Anyway, the nominees are:

Brock Lesnar

CM Punk

Big Show

Daniel Bryan

Randy Orton

John Cena

An hour and fifteen minutes in, this show is dedicated to Nelson Mandela. I really hope that was at the beginning of the show as well.

Bryan wins to set up the confrontation with Michaels. Bryan thanks the fans for giving him the H-B-Shizzle Award but also thanks Shawn for costing him the world title. This award is because of the people rather than what the Authority wants. Oh and GO SEAHAWKS.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

Cara now has red white and green tights. We get an inset interview with Del Rio saying he’s a former world champion and Cara is nothing. Del Rio is aggressive to start by headbutting Cara down, only to be cross bodied for his efforts. Cara pounds him on the head but gets caught in a suplex to put him down. More forearms put Del Rio on the floor but he tries to charge back in, only to be dropkicked out to the floor.

A Russell Wilson MVP (Seahawks quarterback) chant starts up as Del Rio is sent into the barricade. Back in and the corner enziguri puts Cara down but Alberto misses what looked to be a dropkick, even though Cara was on the mat. Del Rio rolls to the floor before the Swanton can launch and we take a break. Back with Del Rio holding a chinlock but Cara fighting out and dropkicking Alberto down for two. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Alberto and he takes Sin outside to send him into the barricade.

Back in and we hit another chinlock before the low superkick gets two for Del Rio. Cara avoids a charge into the corner and hits a tornado DDT for two. A handspring elbow gets the same but Del Rio hits the Codebreaker to the arm. Cara escapes the armbreaker and hits a rolling Angle Slam to put Alberto down. The Swanton takes too long to set up though and Cara gets crotched on the top. Del Rio loads up a superplex but gets caught in a sunset bomb, setting up the Swanton for the pin at 11:04.

Rating: B-. If they’re not careful they’re going to make a star out of Sin Cara. It’s remarkable how much better Hunico is at playing the character and he’s nailing this second run. Good match here and it’s good to see Del Rio dropping down the card like he should have done a long time ago.

The Prime Time Players are here to present the Audience Presentation Award, which is basically best chant. They insert the Millions of Dollars dance as an honorable mention. The nominees are:

Fandango-ing

YES! YES! YES!

Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks

What’s Up!

Daniel Bryan wins which isn’t a huge surprise. He says the only thing he can think of: YES! YES! YES!

Brodus Clay vs. Xavier Woods

Woods goes right at him and pounds away in the corner, only to be powerbombed in half to stop the momentum. Brodus hits a middle rope splash for the pin at 39 seconds.

Post match Brodus destroys Woods with elbows and splashes. Woods appears to have hurt ribs.

Here’s Miz to present Insult of the Year. The nominees are:

AJ Lee – “I didn’t get here because I SUCKED….up to the right people.” (Total Divas promo)

Zeb Colter – Almost anything he said

Paul Heyman – Insulting CM Punk

Stephanie McMahon – Insulting Big Show before firing him

Stephanie wins, of course. She says what she said was a huge compliment because everyone knows it was best for business.

CM Punk vs. Dean Ambrose

Rollins and Reigns are staying at ringside. Punk takes him down into a headlock followed by a wicked looking armbar to start. Dean fights up and takes Punk over to the rope, only to be taken down with a hammerlock. Back up and Punk tries a spinning cross body off the ropes but dives into a gutbuster instead. Dean stomps away at the injured ribs and drops an elbow for two before being Punk’s back around the ropes.

Punk has his face shoved into the mat for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. CM fights up and sends Dean chest first into the corner before throwing Ambrose outside to get a breather. The suicide dive takes Ambrose out but Punk has to keep an eye on the rest of the Shield as we take a break.

Back with Ambrose holding a headlock but getting belly to back suplexed down. Punk misses a dropkick and as per wrestling logic, he hurts himself despite landing the same way he would have had the move connected. A swinging neckbreaker gets two on Ambrose and some forearms keep him in trouble. The knee in the corner sets up the Macho Elbow for two but Ambrose comes right back with a butterfly suplex.

Punk’s top rope cross body is rolled through for two but he comes back with the high kick for two of his own. The fans think this is awesome. Ambrose knees him in the rubs but sends Punk to the floor where Shield gets in his face for some reason. The other two members leave and Punk hits a quick GTS for the pin at 17:07.

Rating: B. As I said on Smackdown: this was exactly what you would expect from Punk vs. Ambrose when they get time. I wish they would let someone else lose the fall to Punk, but at least this time we got some storyline development as a result. Very solid TV match here as anyone would have expected.

Post match Reigns comes back in with a spear to Punk’s bad ribs.

We get the same video about what winning the world title means from Smackdown.

Mick Foley presents the Most Extreme Moment of the Year Award. The nominees are:

Shield putting Undertaker through a table in England

Ryback slamming Cena through the set in their last man standing match

CM Punk destroying Heyman on top of the Cell

Wyatt Family crushing Kane’s head at Summerslam

Punk wins although almost none of these were extreme. He says it’s weird to win an award without wearing pants but promises to be even more extreme on Sunday against the Shield.

Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Jey tries to speed things up on Rowan to start and manages to dropkick him out to the floor. In a cool spot, Jey dives through the ropes while Jimmy dives off the top to take out Harper. Bray laughs as we take a break. Back with Harper holding Jey in a chinlock before bringing in Rowan for a fallaway slam. Erick misses a charge in the corner and the hot tag brings in Jimmy for a Samoan drop and the running Umaga attack in the corner. Everything breaks down and Harper gets superkicked down, setting up the Superfly Splash for two as Rowan makes the save. Rowan is kicked down as well but Harper takes Jey’s head off for the pin at 8:28.

Rating: C-. The show is starting to drag but at least the match wasn’t too bad. That lariat is absolutely awesome and proves that a simple move can become something special if it’s given enough time. Rowan is looking better and better every time he’s out there which is nothing but good.

Bret Hart presents the Match of the Year Award. The nominees are:

CM Punk vs Undertaker – Wrestlemania 29

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Shield – Battleground

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar – Extreme Rules

The Rock vs. John Cena – Wrestlemania 29

Rock vs. Cena wins which is as good as anything else I guess. Cena gets a mixed reaction but it’s mainly booing for his standard acceptance speech.

Natalya vs. Tamina Snuka

Since this show hasn’t gone on long enough already. Tamina takes her into the corner and stomps away as AJ looks on with an evil smile from ringside. Natalya avoids a charge and hits a discus lariat but goes after AJ. Tamina picks up Natalya but accidentally swings her into AJ, allowing Natalya to put on the Sharpshooter for the win at 1:37.

There are twenty former world or WWE Champions in the ring for the final segment. We have Swagger, Christian, Bryan, Mysterio, Miz, Henry, Khali, HHH, Booker T, Kane, Bret, Punk, Foley, Del Rio, Big Show, HBK and Ziggler. HHH gives an introduction but a Daniel Bryan chant makes him pause. Henry raises Bryan’s hand to really fire up the crowd. This is one heck of a chant as the YES YES YES keeps it going. HHH finally gets a word in and brings out Cena and Orton to bring us up to 19 champions (JBL was supposed to be #20 but he’s still on commentary).

The belts are placed on the hanger and Orton talks about what image means to Cena. He gets annoyed at the fans chanting YES before talking about taking years off Foley’s career and embarrassing Shawn over and over. There wouldn’t have had to be a Montreal Screwjob because Orton would have knocked Bret out cold. The fans think Orton sucks before booing Cena out of the building as well. Cena says Orton talked about working hard and asks Bryan to stand next to him.

Cena asks Bryan where he’s from and if his parents were WWE Superstars. Bryan says no, but YES he’s had to work for everything he’s achieved in WWE. Orton hasn’t had to work his entire career because the right guys liked him. Now he hides behind the Authority and says he’s bigger than everything here. Orton has always blamed everyone else for his failure and has had behavior problems everywhere.

The only reason Randy wants the titles is greed but Cena has always given opportunities. When no one wanted Ziggler, Cena said let’s fight. When Punk was about to leave, Cena agreed to give the best in the world the title shot. When Daniel Bryan was the hottest thing in WWE, Cena gave him a shot and lost. Orton is going to need luck on Sunday and they

very tensely shake hands. The belts are raised and the brawl is on.

Punk goes after Orton but HHH throws Punk down. That earns the boss a beating but Shawn kicks Punk down to save his buddy. Bryan hits the running knee on Shawn but has to avoid an RKO, shoving Orton into Stephanie in the process (crowd: “YES! YES! YES”!). HHH Pedigrees Orton as Cena and Kane help Stephanie up. The fans chant for Bryan as Orton looks at the Authority and Cena to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show was…..long. It set up the three major matches at TLC but the awards gimmick got old about an hour into the show. Bryan and Shield looked good tonight but other than that the awards felt like they were as planned as they possibly could have been. The ending segment came close to saving it but only brought it up to decent. The show wasn’t bad for the most part but it felt like a show you could have just read online the next morning and gotten everything you needed to know out of it.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Fandango – Running knee

Damien Sandow b. Santino Marella – You’re Welcome

The Miz b. Kofi Kingston – Rollup

Rey Mysterio/Big Show/Goldust/Cody Rhodes b. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel – Top rope splash to Axel

Sin Cara b. Alberto Del Rio – Swanton Bomb

Brodus Clay b. Xavier Woods – Middle rope splash

CM Punk b. Dean Ambrose – GTS

Wyatt Family b. Usos – Discus lariat to Jey

Natalya b. Tamina Snuka – Sharpshooter

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 17, 2012
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the Slammys! The catch this year is the voting is all done on the WWE App, which is supposed to be interesting or mean something or other. This is the night after TLC and the main change is that AJ has turned on Cena, possibly to join Ziggler but that hasn’t been confirmed. This is a three hour show instead of a three hour special, because that’s how Raw works anymore. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of the PPV last night as expected.

Rey Mysterio vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow takes over to start and sends Rey out to the floor with Rey’s signature chest first bump. Back in and the Wind-Up Elbow gets two and let’s hit that chinlock. Rey comes back with a headscisors and a seated dropkick for two of his own. It’s Scholars vs. HELL NO on Wednesday at Main Event. If that’s not enough of a clue as to what’s coming, I don’t know what is. Indeed there it is, as Rey hits the 619 and top rope splash for the pin at 3:14.

Rating: D+. What in the world was the point of this? They already say that the Scholars are getting the title shot in two days, so what in the world is the point here?  The match wasn’t even any good and Sandow looked like a jobber, which is the last thing he needs to be right now. No idea what they were going for here.

Here’s Booker to present the Tell Me I Did NOT Just See That Award for Biggest Surprise. After explaining that we have to download the WWE App for the 1000th time, we’re ready to go. The nominees are:

Brad Maddox’s Low Blow on Ryback (Hell in a Cell)

18 Seconds (Wrestlemania 28)

Kofi’s Miracle Save (Royal Rumble)

The Rock Gets Punked (Raw 1000)

Before the winner is announced, here’s the FREAKING BOOGEYMAN. He’s got the clock and the worms and apparently we’re taking a break before the award is announced. Well sure why not. Post break, Brad Maddox comes out to stand next to Booker, but Kofi wins. Nothing of note in the acceptance speech.

Kaitlyn vs. Eve Torres

Kaitlyn jumps her to start and pounds away and we head to the floor. The champion (this is non-title) gets pounded on even more and freaks out because Kaitlyn hits her in the face. Back in and Eve pounds away on Kaitlyn, but Kaitlyn comes out of the corner with a gutbuster for the pin at 2:08. Back to the old formula for the Divas I guess.

To present the Comeback of the Year Award, here are the New Age Outlaws, complete with the PG version of their entrance. Billy has to read his line off his hand in a funny bit. The nominees are:

Brock Lesnar

Chris Jericho

DX

Jerry Lawler

We take a break before the awards which I think is going to be a trend tonight. Lawler wins to the shock of no one. He jogs up the ramp and says nothing of note.

Kofi Kingston vs. Tensai

Tensai hits the Vader Bomb in the corner and walks into Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 1:10. Fire him. Please.

Post match Wade Barrett lays out Kofi with the Bull Hammer.

Here’s hot to vote! AGAIN!

Here’s Vickie to present Kiss of the Year. The nominees are:

AJ and Daniel Bryan

AJ and Kane

AJ and CM Punk

AJ and John Cena

Vickie has something to say before the winner is announced. She’d NEVER be nominated for this award because she wouldn’t abuse her position like this. The winner with AJ is Cena. This exists to have AJ come out and explain herself, but she says she doesn’t owe anyone anything and she shoves Vickie away. Ziggler comes out and separates them, so AJ kisses Dolph. He’s into it as Vickie EXPLODES. AJ skips away and Ziggler chases after him. It’s about freaking time.

Great Khali vs. David Otunga

Khali forearms him down and chops him in the corner. A second one is even LOUDER but he misses a big boot in the corner. David stomps away on the leg in the corner but it’s shrugged off and the big chop gets the pin at 1:57.

Ric Freaking Flair is here to read the nominees for Superstar of the Year. There’s a surprise. Since this is Philadelphia, it might as well be God walking onto the stage. This would have been a bigger shock if they didn’t play WOO and have his voice saying the names before the break.

Sheamus

John Cena

Big Show

CM Punk

Cena wins and is of course booed out of the building. For some reason he gives the Slammy to Flair….but here’s Punk with something to say. Heyman of course gets an ERUPTION. Punk goes on a big rant about how he should be Superstar of the Year because Cena keeps losing and hasn’t done anything all year. Flair looks at his Rolex and makes fun of Punk but Punk says Flair can’t talk about baggage. Flair asks if he means his two Hall of Fame rings or his four ex-wives. Naturally Ric wants to fight and we take a break.

Back with Punk limping into the ring to face Flair and he blasts Flair in the ribs. Flair pokes him in the eye and hits Punk with the crutch before throwing Heyman in the Figure Four. Naturally Flair has something to say, so he says welcome back Jerry Lawler. If he’s going to die in a ring, he wants it to be in a WWE ring or with a woman from Philadelphia. He sucks up to Philly a bit more but here’s the Shield.

Post break, Ambrose is laying out Flair before heading back to the floor to fight HELL NO who apparently came out during the break. They load up Flair for the SuperBomb, but here’s Ryback to a BIG pop for the save. No Cena for no apparent reason. Rollins gets dropped on the announce table and the Shield is beaten down. Flair shakes all of their hands and the good guys stand tall. Well Bryan stands medium height but you get the idea.

Post break again, Flair and HELL NO celebrate in the back and Flair gets into the YES/NO thing. Ron Simmons comes up and you know where this is going.

Brodus Clay vs. JTG

It’s an old school Brodus squash with JTG only hitting a decent looking Blockbuster. Total domination with Brodus hitting his usual stuff and winning with the splash at 1:52.

Here are Santino and Tensai to presents LOL Moment of the Year. Tensai falls down coming through the entrance and has a big bandage and ice pack on his head. Santino cracks up looking at Tensai. He calls him Albert and makes fun of him for a bit. Apparently Tensai means Fat Albert. Tensai grabs him and speaks in that thick Boston accent of his.

The Rock throws Cena merchandise into the Boston Harbor

HELL NO at Anger Management

Randy Orton beats up Ricardo and Striker with food

Vickie Guerrero dances

Rock wins because the WWE Universe has no taste. Naturally he’s not here so Santino accepts on his behalf. Bryan comes out to say NO because this should be his Slammy. PREACH IT BROTHER!!! Kane drags him away.

Sin Cara vs. Cody Rhodes

Cara’s knee is still messed up from last night. Cody takes over quickly as we’ve got the dark lighting. Cody hits the delayed release gordbuster for two and cranks on Cara’s arm. He pounds away for a bit but gets caught by a springboard missile dropkick. There’s a rana to put Cody down but he catches Cara in the Cross Rhodes out of nowhere for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: D+. Stupid psychology aside, this wasn’t anything of note. What’s the deal with the lighting anymore anyway? It’s been done for months now, so why bring it back every now and then? Was there really a demand for that stupid thing? Nice to see Cody actually winning a match before his title shot in two days.

Here are Zack Ryder and Layla to present the award for Trending Now Hashtag of the Year. I swear this is a real thing.

Feedmemore

Peoplepower

LittleJimmy

WWWYKI

Ryback wins and that’s about it.

Here’s Big Show with that massive chair of his. He’s not surprised that he got the shaft for losing Superstar of the Year. He’s still World Champion though and the fans can’t handle that. The fans chant boring but Show threatens to sit in the chair all night. Cue Sheamus because three straight losses aren’t enough. Sheamus says that he doesn’t want to fight tonight and he has no regrets about last night. Last night, Show was the better man.

Show of course rubs it in but Sheamus says there’s nothing more to it than that: Show deserves to be champion. He offers Show a handshake and Show of course isn’t sure. The champion shakes his hand but Show says go to the back of the line “you potato eating Irishman.” Show keeps running his mouth and the brawl is on. Sheamus gets the big chair and pounds away with the huge chair before laying Show out with a Brogue Kick.

Show is out cold…….AND HERE COMES ZIGGLER!!!

Smackdown World Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Big Show

Cena sneaks in from behind and beats up Dolph so I don’t think there’s an official cash in. The bell never rang and Show is getting up. Ziggler gets beaten up badly and it’s officially not a cash in. Why not? The bell should have rung.

3MB vs. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Tommy Dreamer

Before the match we take a break and when we come back, Ziggler is looking for Vickie. Eventually she yells at him for the stuff with AJ but Ziggler says it’s over with Vickie. He tired of her jealously and says she’s getting old and ugly. She makes Ziggler/AJ vs. Vickie/Cena. Oh geez.

As for the match, we still have to have a third partner announced for Miz/Del Rio, which you’ve already seen by now. The reaction for Dreamer is great of course. Del Rio and McIntyre start things off with Alberto pounding away. Off to Dreamer for some bad dancing and a flapjack. Everything breaks down and the Band is sent to the floor. Del Rio dives onto all three, as does Dreamer. For reasons I can’t comprehend, we take a break.

Back with Dreamer suplexing Mahal down and it’s off to Miz. The fans in Philly are actually into him as he hits the corner clothesline on Slater. McIntyre breaks it up though and the Band takes over. Mahal comes in to drop a knee and hook a chinlock. Back to Slater who hooks a front facelock for a few moments before it’s back to Drew. Miz grabs a rollup for two but can’t make a tag.

Drew puts Miz in a fireman’s carry and does a little strut before dropping Miz down on his face. Slater breaks up the tag again but Alberto makes the tag and cleans house. A big kick to Slater’s head gets two and Del Rio clears the ring out. The armbreaker is broken up but he hits the corner enziguri to Slater anyway. He loads up the armbreaker again but instead tags Dreamer in. Dreamer comes in for the pin at FOURTEEN MINUTES AND THIRTEEN SECONDS.

Rating: D+. WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD THIS FREAKING MATCH GET FIFTEEN MINUTES??? I mean dude, come on. We couldn’t get ANYBODY else out there to fill in this kind of time? The match was nothing special, and it’s still hard to buy Miz and Del Rio as faces because they never really had a big moment to turn. Del Rio’s turn last night was really quick and didn’t have a chance to sink in. That’s a problem that it’s going to take time to get over.

Sheamus comes out to present Newcomer of the Year.

Antonio Cesaro

Brodus Clay

Damien Sandow

Ryback

If you’re not sure who wins here, I can’t help you. The fans actually cheer for Ryback pretty well. He starts a FEED ME MORE chant and that’s about it.

Ryback vs. Antonio Cesaro

This should be good. Non-title of course. Cesaro pounds away to start and let the Goldberg chants begin. Ryback counters a suplex into a delayed one of his own for one. Cesaro comes back with a spinebuster but Ryback backdrops out of the Neutralizer. There’s a spinebuster from the good guy but Cesaro rolls away from the Meat Hook. He gets his belt but Ryback gorilla presses him back into the ring. Cesaro tries to run again and it’s a countout win for Ryback at 2:08. That’s the smartest thing they could have done.

Here are Gene Okerlund, Ricky Steamboat and JR to present the Match of the Year Award.

Undertaker vs. HHH (Wrestlemania 28)

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena (Extreme Rules)

Sheamus vs. Big Show (Hell in a Cell)

The Rock vs. John Cena (Wrestlemania 28)

There are three VERY strong contenders here and it goes to Taker vs. HHH. I have no issue with that winning at all. HHH makes fun of his short hair but is immediately drowned out by a WE WANT TAKER chant. He sucks up to the crowd for a bit and the fans say thank you. We haven’t seen the last of the Undertaker apparently.

In the back the Shield is destroying Tommy Dreamer. Ricardo of all people tries to stop them and is beaten down as well. Referees eventually chase them off.

Here’s AJ for the main event but she asks for a ladder to be set up for her. Post break AJ is on top of the ladder and says everyone has been asking her why she did it. She’s about to explain when Vickie interrupts her.

Dolph Ziggler/AJ vs. Vickie Guerrero/John Cena

It’s after 11pm already so this isn’t going to last long. The guys start things off with Cena escaping a hammerlock. Off to AJ which means Cena has to tag Vickie. I think Vickie is supposed to be a face here. She pounds AJ down and AJ walks out, making it a handicap match. Now Vickie leaves and Ziggler escapes the AA. The jumping DDT gets two on Cena but John ducks a superkick and puts on the STF. AJ and BIG FREAKING E LANGSTON come in for the DQ at 4:29. If you don’t know who Langston is, I feel sorry for you.

Rating: N/A. I rarely use this but seriously, there’s nothing to talk about here.

Overall Rating: B+. I dug this show WAY more than any Raw in probably six months or so. They had a fast paced show tonight where they mixed things up and didn’t keep anything (aside from the six man tag) out there longer than it should have been. This was a much more laid back show that didn’t take itself too seriously, which has been one of Raw’s biggest problems tonight. Good show and one of the best wrestling TV shows in months.

Results

Rey Mysterio b. Damien Sandow – Top Rope Splash

Kaitlyn b. Eve Torres – Gutbuster

Kofi Kingston b. Tensai – Trouble in Paradise

Great Khali b. David Otunga – Chop to the head

Brodus Clay b. JTG – Splash

Cody Rhodes b. Sin Cara – Cross Rhodes

Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Tommy Dreamer b. 3MB – DDT to Slater

Ryback b. Antonio Cesaro via countout

Vickie Guerrero/John Cena b. Dolph Ziggler/AJ via DQ when Big E. Langston interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

These were announced last night during the TLC preshow.

– Best Dancer of the Year – Brodus Clay

– Top Social Media Ambassador – Charlie Sheen

– WWE.com Video of the Year – Jerry Lawler

-Crowd Chant of the Year – “Feed Me More!”

– Upset of the Year – Daniel Bryan (retaining World Heavyweight Championship at Royal Rumble)

– Diva of the Year – AJ Lee

– Insult of the Year – John Cena

– Tweet of the Year – Daniel Bryan

– YouTube Show of the Year – Z! True Long Island Story

– Facial Hair of the Year – Daniel Bryan

– Feat of Strength Award – Sheamus (for hitting White Noise on Big Show)

– Betrayal of the Year – Big Show (knocking out John Cena)

I’m going to keep this thread updated throughout Raw with all of the Slammy categories, nominations and winners.  Keep refreshing this throughout Raw.  Let’s get to it.
Tell Me I Did Not Just See That Award (Surprise of the Year)

 

Presented by Booker T.

 

Brad Maddox’s Low Blow on Ryback (Hell in a Cell)

18 Seconds (Wrestlemania 28)

Kofi’s Miracle Save (Royal Rumble)

The Rock Gets Punked (Raw 1000)

 

Winner: Kofi Kingston

 

Comeback of the Year Award

 

Presented by the New Age Outlaws

 

Brock Lesnar

Chris Jericho

DX

Jerry Lawler

 

Winner: Jerry Lawler

 

Kiss of the Year Award

 

Presented by Vickie Guerrero

 

AJ and Daniel Bryan

AJ and Kane

AJ and CM Punk

AJ and John Cena

 

Winner: AJ and John Cena

 

Superstar of the Year

 

Presented by Ric Flair

 

Sheamus

John Cena

Big Show

CM Punk

 

Winner: John Cena

 

LOL Moment of the Year

 

Presented by Santino Marella and Tensai

 

The Rock throws Cena merchandise into the Boston Harbor

HELL NO at Anger Management

Randy Orton beats up Ricardo and Striker with food

Vickie Guerrero dances

Winner: The Rock

Hashtag of the Year

 

Presented by Zack Ryder and Layla

 

Feedmemore

Peoplepower

LittleJimmy

WWWYKI

 

Winner: Feedmemore

 

Newcomer of the Year

 

Presented by Sheamus

 

Antonio Cesaro

Brodus Clay

Damien Sandow

Ryback

 

Winner: Ryback

 

Match of the Year

 

Presented by Jim Ross, Gene Okerlund and Ricky Steamboat

 

Undertaker vs. HHH (Wrestlemania 28)

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena (Extreme Rules)

Sheamus vs. Big Show (Hell in a Cell)

The Rock vs. John Cena (Wrestlemania 28)

Winner: Undertaker vs. HHH

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 12, 2011
Location: Norfolk Scope Arena, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the Slammys! I used to love these things when I was a kid and they were so campy and entertaining. Now they’re just kind of here and they’re usually a way to have some minor stories set up for the next few weeks/months. The main event tonight is Cena vs. Henry, which somehow is a pretty big showdown. It’s also the go home show for TLC, which is kind of a minor aspect given the three hour nature of this. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Slammy presentation. This is for the Tell Me I Did Not Just See That Moment of the Year. Booker presents it…along with Horny. Horny has an afro wig and keeps doing chest bumps with Booker.

The nominees are:

JR dancing
Santino almost winning the Royal Rumble
A fan throws water at R-Truth
Miz impersonates Rock

It’s JR dancing. I can live with that as that was pretty awesome. JR comes out…and here’s Cole to cut him off because that’s what Cole does. Cole says JR is fat and Booker calls him a loser. Strap in people: Cole vs. Booker can go on for HOURS. Booker says JR can beat Cole in a rap off. Cole’s is awful and I think everyone expected that. JR says he doesn’t need music. His actually has something resembling a rhythm to it and there’s music to it anyway. And then he stops rhyming all together. Guess who the fans say win. This very well may have been the worst opening in the history of professional wrestling.

Oh and JR does a Spinarooni. Ok more like he looks like he has a heart attack and convulses on the mat for a bit.

Here are Foley and Ted DiBiase Senior to present the Holy Censored Moment of the Year. This pairing is about as awesome as anything in the history of, ahem, Mankind. They try to figure out why they’re paired together. DiBiase says that he is an ordained minister. Foley: “So if that makes you the holy, then I guess that makes me the…..” DiBise: *EVIL LAUGH*

The nominees are:

Sheamus powerbombs Sin Cara through a ladder
The RKO to a leaping Christian onto the steps
The ring breaking
Evan Bourne’s shooting star off the ladder

Gee I wonder what’s going to win. If you can’t figure this out, you fail. Show comes out to accept and thanks the Sports Entertainment Academy of Arts and Sports. He thinks the World Heavyweight Championship would look good next to the Slammy. Nice little promo for the match on Sunday and for his match which is next.

Big Show vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett says what he’ll do to Orton at TLC will earn him that award Big Show just won. Then again that award is for something unexpected and everyone knows what he’s going to do to Orton. After a break we’re joined in progress with Barrett on the floor trying to get up. There’s a table set up at ringside now. There’s also a chair and a ladder. Barrett avoids going through the table and hits a big boot to put Show’s head on the table.

Show gets up as Barrett is ready to jump and then the bald man breaks the table. With Barrett on the apron on the outside, Show chops him in the chest and knocks him into the ring. Barrett goes to the floor and brings in a chair. Show knocks it out of his hands….and wins by DQ at 1:38? It’s going to be one of those nights isn’t it?

Of all people, the Road Dogg is doing this one. Yes, that Road Dogg. He’s in a DX shirt and is doing the Pipe Bomb of the year, which I think is the weird moment of the year.

There aren’t any real nominees but more along the lines of a bunch of R-Truth moments plus a hand full of others. This is just a big comedy montage for all intents and purposes, which is a great reminder of some stuff, namely Punk and Truth. The winner is…..CM Punk. Ok I can live with that.

Punk comes out with….a mannequin? It’s got a blonde wig and a t-shirt that says…..OH MY GOODNESS IT’S A DYNAMIC DUDES SHIRT!!!!! Punk says that he wants to talk about something tonight that is a special cause. This person works behind the scenes and is incredibly boring, just like this mannequin. Naturally it’s Johnny Ace and Punk has a tribute video. It’s set to a song that I’ve heard before but can’t place. We get Dynamic Dudes clips in there too which makes this worth a smile. After the video Punk is trying not to crack up. He accepts the award on Punk’s behalf and does a decent impression of him.

Lita is here to present the Divalicious Moment of the Year. Yep she’s still hot. I don’t think half the people know who she is.

The nominees are:

natalya putting the Sharpshooter on Eve and I think Alicia.
Kelly winning the Divas Title.
Kharma destroying Michelle.
Beth’s top rope Glam Slam to Eve.

Of course it goes to Kelly because she’s supposed to be some kind of female hero or something. Beth comes out to take the award from her and gets slapped.

Santino presents the OMG Moment of the Year. The Bellas are with him and they look good in those red dresses. After an argument over whether it’s o-m-g or OMG (pronounced like a word), here are the nominees.

HHH tombstones the Undertaker.
Rock Bottom to Cena at Mania.
The Walk Out.
Punk Leaves With The Title.

HHH wins. Are you freaking kidding me? He makes his big return with the hammer…and walks to the ring without his award. HHH says the real OMG moment was having Taker carried out for the first time in his career. He says the Undertaker is no more. HHH takes credit for ending the Streak. Are you kidding me? We get the video of Nash hitting him with the hammer a few months ago.

He says that maybe their 16 year relationship was based on lies and this Sunday all the lies and deceptions end. On Sunday he’ll show the world that he’s right and that Nash is simply done. Well he was done 13 years ago. Do we really need a match for that? HHH leaves and implies he’ll hit Santino with the hammer but lets him run instead.

Otunga and Tony Atlas are here for the Trending Superstar of the Year. Tony does the laugh as Otunga tries to be serious. The award goes to whichever superstar listed is trending on Twitter the fastest. Get this over with. They’ll be in a fatal fourway with the winner of the match meaning nothing but the first to be trending winning the Slammy.

Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder

Or is the winner of the match the winner of the award? Do they have any idea what’s going on here? Ryder and Bryan send the champs to the floor and hit stereo dives as we take a break. Back with Ryder and Bryan squaring off and they change the rules AGAIN, saying that it’s whoever trends first. THEN WHY HAVE THE MATCH??? Bryan and Ryder have a decent back and forth segment with them hitting cross bodies to put them both down.

Rhodes and Ziggler tease a staredown but think better of it so they can stomp the good guys. They get in a shoving match and Bryan tries to steal a pin. Rhodes and Bryan have a LONG pinfall reversal sequence but Bryan is sent to the floor. Ryder follows him and Ziggler tries to roll up Rhodes. Alabama Slam to Dolph gets two. They take a second break with Cody standing tall.

Back with Rhodes having Ryder in a Figure Four which doesn’t last long. Rhodes charges into some knees in the corner but Dolph breaks up the Broski Boot. Everyone is in the ring and everyone goes down. Beautiful Disaster hits Ziggler for two and Bryan goes off with the rapid fire kicks to Cody. Bryan goes up but gets crotched. Ziggler gets drilled by Ryder but stops Ryder as he goes up. Both heels hit superplexes and everyone is down again. Rough Ryder to Ziggler, Cross Rhodes to Ryder, LeBell Lock to Rhodes, Sleeper to Bryan, Zig Zag to Bryan and that gets the pin at 15:22.

Rating: B-. Fun match but as Lawler said, the match wasn’t important. What was important was trending on Twitter. That right there sums up almost everything that is wrong with Raw anymore. They’re so obsessed with getting people to notice them and accept them because they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and they have to tell us they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and it drives people crazy. And they wonder why no one buys their PPVs and why no one is watching their shows.

Ryder wins the award, because the match was pointless. He gets a Zig Zag for his efforts.

Christian returns to present Game Changer of the Year. He gives himself courageous moment of the year first of all. This is for one moment that changes everything. Here are the nominees.

HHH telling Vince and the pink jacket that he’s relieved of his duties.
Edge’s retirement speech.
Kevin Nash returns.
Rock and Cena making the main event of Mania a year early.

Cena and Rock win, as they probably should. Cena says he should only get half of the credit for this and introduces Rock. Oh wait this is a live show so he’s not here. “But he said he’d never leave!” We do have a satellite clip though. Oh wait no we don’t because he didn’t have time for that either. “This is worse than JR’s rap.” He apologizes for Team Bring It for not bringing it. However, this makes the award mean more because Rock is going to see this soon and hopefully it fires him up even more. This award is for changing the game for a year, but at Mania they change the game forever.

Alberto Del Rio/The Miz vs. CM Punk/Randy Orton

Punk vs. Miz starts us off. Off to Del Rio vs. Orton quickly and the Viper gets beaten down by both heels. We’re in standard tag formula mode quickly tonight. Punk gets a hot tag quickly and cleans house but the GTS is broken up, allowing Miz to guillotine Punk on the ropes as we take a break. Back with Punk backsliding Miz for two. Del Rio comes in and works over the arm a lot.

This is your usual main event style tag match: it’s the same formula with one guy getting beaten down for a long time until the other big face comes in off a hot tag and cleans house to set up the ending. The Finale and the GTS are countered but Punk’s kick to the head of Miz can’t get the tag. Barrett runs in through the crowd to take out Orton. Miz can’t hit the corner clothesline but he counters the GTS into the Finale for the clean pin on Punk at 12:42. Forget what I said about the formula I guess.

Rating: C-. The ending was a VERY nice surprise and it gives some heat to the main event on Sunday, which is certainly a good thing. Not a horrible match but Del Rio and Miz are pretty weak in the ring. Del Rio is boring all around but that goes without saying. It helped to push the title match though so that made it a lot better.

Miz and Del Rio beat up Punk post match and he gets put in the armbreaker using the ladder.

Vickie presents A-Lister of the Year. And here’s Goldust to present with her. He says she wears more makeup than she does.

The nominees are:

The Muppets
Hugh Jackman
Snooki
Cee-Lo Green

And it goes to Snooki because the WWE is stupid. She gives a pre-recorded message.

Mark Henry says he’ll do more to Big Show Sunday than he has already.

Here’s Sheamus but he’s interrupted by Jinder Mahal. Ok then. He rambles for awhile and gets his head kicked off. That’s it. There’s a referee there but there was no bell and no cover or anything.

Rey Mysterio comes out to present Superstar of the Year. The nominees are:

Orton
Miz
Henry
Punk
Del Rio
Cena

Ace comes out and accepts for him because he’s banged up.

Second Coming video. The word control flashes on the screen to end this.

We hear a story about a soldier in Afghanistan that hugged Vince when she saw him and opened her phone to show him her son with a WWE Title belt. Her son and husband are in the front row. That’s cool.

Mark Henry vs. John Cena

This is due to Cena costing Henry a win last week over Ryder. The bell rang at 1055 so this isn’t going to last long. We go to a break less than a minute in. Back with Henry in control,. Cena tries a slam but falls backwards. Off to a neck vice but Cena suplexes his way out of it. He hits the Shuffle but collapses on an AA attempt which gets two for Mark. Henry calls Cena Mr. USA I think.

Cena avoids a powerslam and hammers away but the shoulders don’t put Henry down. Instead Cena jumps into a bearhug and he’s in trouble. He escapes for a few seconds and hits the Slam but falls down afterwards. Then some fire goes off and KANE is back. He has a modified version of the old music and looks like he’s wearing a metal mask. He chokeslams Cena and I guess it’s thrown out at we’ll say 9 minutes. The mask looks ridiculous, but he takes it off post chokeslam to reveal a more traditional one. There’s Cena’s match for Sunday I guess.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but the end was the whole point of it. Kane was someone that needed to return, if nothing else to give Cena something to do on Sunday. The mask being back….why? His video has the shot of him not in a mask, but he’s wearing one here. I don’t get it, but that sums up most of WWE at this point for me.

Overall Rating: D+. This show didn’t do it for me. I mean it really didn’t do it for me. The awards were pretty weak and while there were a few nice surprises, they didn’t really help get the show going, at least not for me. It wasn’t bad and I’ve definitely seen worse stuff, but this didn’t do much. The crowd didn’t care but I think that’s due to the nature of the show more than anything else. Too much talking too and not a good show overall, but it had its spots. Nice surprise at the end too.

Results
Big Show b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Barrett used a chair
Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes and Zach Ryder – Zig Zag to Bryan
The Miz/Alberto Del Rio b. Randy Orton/CM Punk – Skull Crushing Finale to Punk
John Cena vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when Kane interfered

Here’s TLC if you’re interested: