Smackdown – August 23, 2013: Randy Orton Is A Pretty Man

Smackdown
Date: August 23, 2013
Location: Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s an interesting time in WWE as we have our first heel super stable in several years and they can do whatever the like because “we own the place.” The two questions at the moment are what will Daniel Bryan do to fight these guys off and who will step up to help him in the war. Odds are we won’t find out until Monday. Let’s get to it.

We get clips from the main events of Summerslam.

Theme song.

Here’s Vickie Guerrero to open us up. She’s cleared the air with HHH and brings out Randy Orton, actually pronouncing the T for a change. Orton talks about being a role model and about how he didn’t lie at all during this whole thing. He said he would be cashing in MITB very soon and that’s exactly what he did. No one should have been surprised when he won the title on Sunday. The only person who should have been surprised was Orton himself, as he didn’t expect HHH to do what he did, even though he didn’t need the help. Orton says he’s the face of the WWE but here’s Bryan to disagree.

Before Bryan addresses the face of the WWE, he wants to say what he was trying to say on Raw: thank you John Cena for giving him the chance at Summerslam and for wrestling with a torn tricep. That one chance let him know what it feels like to be WWE Champion. As for the face of the WWE, it’s already time for that face to change. Bryan doesn’t look like Randy Orton. Orton is tall, chiseled and just pretty.

Bryan sees why HHH likes him so much, but Orton is also arrogant. He’s been handed every opportunity because he’s a third generation wrestler and it’s been his Golden Ticket. Bryan can’t get over how pretty Orton is and asks the fans to cheer for Orton because of it. Randy is so pretty that it makes Daniel want to kick him in the face.

Bryan has had to work his way up through the high school gyms wrestling on infected mats to get where he is today because he isn’t tall and isn’t pretty. However, he can wrestle and beat Orton for the WWE Championship. Bryan is entitled to a rematch and he wants it tonight. Say it along with Orton and I: Wait until the pay per view. They stare at each other and Orton tries an RKO, only to be dropkicked to the floor. Solid segment here with Bryan sounding like a natural rival to Orton and laying out the basic story. Orton saying he didn’t know HHH was going to help him is interesting as well.

Vickie rants about Bryan on the phone and says someone needs to teach him a lesson. Wade Barrett comes in and says he doesn’t like Bryan either, so he’d be willing to take care of him tonight. Vickie says ok and makes it a no holds barred match. No make it extreme rules. Or inside a cage. Wasn’t Vickie supposed to be all mega evil this time or something?

Cody Rhodes vs. Curtis Axel

Non-title. Feeling out process to start with Cody tripping Axel down to the mat. Curtis comes back with a great dropkick but Cody heads to the apron for a springboard dropkick of his own. Curtis rolls outside but moves before Cody can dive on him. Cody’s back is rammed into the apron as we take a break.

Back with Curtis dropping elbows for two before hitting a Hennig necksnap for the same. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Cody avoids a middle rope fist a few seconds later. The Disaster Kick misses but Cody gets two off a sunset flip out of the corner. Heyman’s distraction breaks up the moonsault press and Axel hits his neckbreaker into a faceplant for the pin at 3:55 shown of 6:55.

Rating: D+. So we build Cody up for weeks and then have him lose in less than seven minutes with the title not even on the line. To be fair though, Cody had almost a month of wins under his belt so it was long past time to bring him back to earth. He might jump to TNA or the UFC or Hollywood and we wouldn’t want to make money off of him while we could right?

Post match Heyman wants to talk about CM Punk. He talks about being in emotional pain along with his physical pain because he made Punk the best in the world and then was betrayed. Punk lost to Lesnar at Summerslam and now Punk is in a downward spiral. Under Heyman’s leadership, Axel has notched victory after victory and no one has been able to take the title from him. Axel challenges Punk to an Intercontinental Title match on Raw because he can’t lose with Heyman in his corner.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Big E. Langston

Langston jumps Ziggy before the bell and throws him around the ring with ease. The bell rings and Dolph avoids a charge in the corner, only to be slammed down for two. Langston gets two off a splash and we hit the chinlock. Dolph fights up and sends Big E. into the post before taking him down with a neckbreaker. A dropkick drops Big E. again and Ziggler counters a powerbomb into an X-Factor for two. AJ gets in a cheap shot on Ziggler and Langston runs him over for two. The Big Ending is escaped and Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for the pin at 2:01. Langston loses with a pre-match advantage and interferance. So much for him.

Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title here. Del Rio pounds away in the corner to start but gets backdropped out to the floor. Christian sends him into the barricade and Del Rio walks up the aisle as we take a break. Back with Del Rio kicking away in the corner but getting punched in the face to give Christian a breather. Christian is shoved to the floor to counter a tornado DDT, possibly injuring the shoulder that made him give up on Sunday.

Back in and the champion cranks on the arm before getting two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Alberto misses a charge into the ropes and gets dropkicked out to the floor. Christian pounds away back inside the ring but misses a high cross body, allowing Alberto to dropkick him in the face for two. Christian’s spinning sunset flip out of the corner gets two more but Del Rio avoids a middle rope dropkick and tries the armbreaker.

The Canadian rolls out and hits a tornado DDT out of the corner for two in a nice sequence. Alberto bails to the floor to avoid the spear and catches Christian with the running enziguri for two back inside. Christian blocks the low superkick and tries the Killswitch, only to have Del Rio send him shoulder first into the post. Alberto goes to the middle rope and rolls Christian into the armbreaker for the submission at 8:17 shown of 12:57.

Rating: B-. Another good match from these two and now the series is at 2-2. I’m guessing we’re supposed to ignore the two losses by Del Rio because he won the next two, though I don’t think many fans see it that way. The match itself was good stuff though with both guys building on spots they’ve used in their previous few matches.

Post match Del Rio talks about how awesome he is and how everyone else is a peasant. Is Del Rio being rich even a thing anymore? Del Rio says to follow him to greatness but Ricardo interrupts him. He says no one is going to lead him to greatness but now he’s hanging out with RVD. Rob comes to the ring and Christian dropkicks Del Rio down, allowing Rob to hit Rolling Thunder. That was a pretty non-good guy move there from Christian.

We recap the opening segment of the show.

Big Show/Mark Henry vs. 3MB

Slater gets to start with Big Show and is launched into the corner before it’s off to Henry. A big boot puts Slater down but Heath avoids a seated senton and brings in McIntyre for some stomping. Mahal comes in for the same but Slater is tagged in and run over by a BIG shoulder block. Big Show comes in and cleans house but Slater breaks up the pin after a chokeslam to McIntyre. JBL: “Dumb, dumb move.” The World’s Strongest Slam ends Slater and the WMD is good for the pin on Drew at 3:11.

Rating: D. The match was nothing and you can’t complain about it too much. It did its job, though either monster could have done the same thing in the same amount of time. It would help to have some midcard tag teams for Henry and Show to beat but there’s just not enough depth in the division to do that.

Post match Shield asks if beating 3MB is supposed to mean something. Seth says they’re going to have fun knocking Show down again. Reigns will never respect Mark Henry and Rollins adds that they’re just better than the monsters. BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD, even though Ambrose wasn’t in this interview.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Darren Young

Young gets taken down seconds into the match and Cesaro pounds him into the corner. There’s the gutwrench suplex but Cesaro charges into a boot in the corner. Antonio comes right back with the standing chinlock and a clothesline for two. Darren comes back with right hands and an overhead belly to belly followed by a northern lights suplex for two. A hot shot and the Gut Check are good for the pin at 2:31. Nothing match as Young’s push continues.

Ryback signs an autograph for a fan’s son but the fan doesn’t know what his name is. Ryback rips up the picture he signed as a result. I’m with Ryback here. How did the fan not know his name when it’s in big red letters on the front of his vest?

Punk has accepted the match with Axel for Raw.

The cage is lowered.

Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett pounds him into the corner to start but Bryan blocks a ram into the steel. Daniel pounds right hands in the corner but charges into a boot to the jaw. Now the ram into the cage works but Barrett can only get a two count. Bryan comes back with a backdrop into the cage and Daniel fires off kicks in the corner. There’s the backflip over Barrett in the corner but the running clothesline is countered into the Winds of Change for two.

We take a break and come back with Barrett kicking Bryan’s head into the cage. Now it’s Barrett having the back of his head rammed into the steel and Bryan adds the running dropkick to crush Barrett even more. A missile dropkick gets two and Bryan fires off the kicks to Wade’s chest. The big one to the head misses and Barrett sends him into the cage before clotheslining him inside out for a close two.

Wasteland is blocked via a grab of the ropes but Bryan gets caught in an electric chair for two. Barrett goes up the cage but Bryan makes a save. He can’t German superplex Wade down and gets kicked to the mat, only to charge up the corner and pull Barrett back inside. Bryan hits a rolling powerbomb to bring Wade back to the mat and the running knee to the face is good for the pin at 8:58 shown of 11:58.

Rating: B. Good match here with Barrett looking like he could hang with the big boys. It’s amazing how far he fell while being Intercontinental Champion because when he has a good opponent he can put on an entertaining match. Bryan was his usual good stuff here and the fans are still into him after Summerslam. Hopefully that holds up.

Post match Bryan celebrates on the floor but walks into an RKO.

Overall Rating: B. This was a really solid show as WWE continues their roll. We had good matches throughout the show with the bad stuff being pretty short. I’m not wild on the ending though. That’s three times now that Orton has stood tall over Bryan in three shows and that’s going to catch up with them. Bryan doesn’t need to beat Orton down or anything, but he needs to be standing when a show ends soon. It’s still very early in the story though so it’s not like it’s already dead or anything. Good show tonight.

Results

Curtis Axel b. Cody Rhodes – Neckbreaker into a faceplant

Dolph Ziggler b. Big E. Langston – Zig Zag

Alberto Del Rio b. Christian – Cross Armbreaker

Big Show/Mark Henry b. 3MB – WMD to McIntyre

Darren Young b. Antonio Cesaro – Gut Check

Daniel Bryan b. Wade Barrett – Running knee to the head

 

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Smackdown To Three Hours?

Apparently it’s a possibility.  I sit through that show for years now and THIS is my reward?

 

Seriously though, WWE does NOT need more television.  If they want Smackdown to look like a bigger deal, stop making its wrestlers jobbers to the stars for the Raw guys.  Bad idea all around.




Smackdown – August 9, 2013: The Smackdown Formula To The Letter

Smackdown
Date: August 9, 2013
Location: BMO Harris Bank Center, Rockford, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

After Monday we have a lot more set up for Summerslam. The primary addition for the Smackdown side of things is Rhodes vs. Sandow in a match that isn’t going to do much as both guys’ stock is so low right now. Other than that we’re likely to get some more build for Del Rio vs. Christian which didn’t get a ton of time on Monday. Let’s get to it.

Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

If Orton’s actions on Monday were supposed to be a heel turn, the crowd here didn’t get the message. This match makes sense but I would have bet on it being at Summerslam. Randy takes him down to the mat to start before grabbing a standing headlock. Van Dam comes back with a spin kick to send Orton into the ropes for a standoff. Back to the headlock from Orton before a dropkick gets a quick two. Still in first gear so far.

Rob misses a cross body and crashes out to the floor where he rams Orton head first into the steps. The spin kick to Orton’s back puts both guys down on the floor and we take a break. Back with Orton dropping a knee and pounding away in the corner. Van Dam goes up top but is shoved off the top and into the barricade in a big crash. Randy belly to backs him onto the barricade again for two back inside and we hit the chinlock.

Van Dam fights up and plants Randy for the split legged moonsault, good for two. A top rope flip attack gets two more but his attempted roll into a monkey flip is blocked. The backbreaker gets two as the crowd is getting into this. Orton hits his clotheslines followed by the powerslam for another near fall. Rob counters the Elevated DDT into a northern lights suplex for two of his own.

RVD loads up a springboard but Orton dropkicks him out to the apron for the Elevated DDT. JBL: “Do the repetitive call Michael!” The RKO is countered by a kick to the face and a rollup gets two. Another kick sets up Rolling Thunder (Rob overshot it and only his head hit Orton) but the Five Star misses and it’s the RKO for the pin at 10:37 shown of 13:22.

Rating: B. This was better than I was expecting with both guys moving very well out there. I’m surprised this wasn’t at Summerslam since both guys are hot right now and neither has anything to do at the show. This was reminiscent of the Orton vs. Christian matches with some good counters and a nice flow to the match. Good stuff here and I’d like to see some more from these two.

Time for MizTV with guests Big E. Langston and AJ. Miz asks Langston what their relationship is but AJ says Langston is a nice friend and a good guy. That’s not good enough for Miz and Big E. doesn’t look too pleased. Miz says cool and gives Langston a thumbs up before accusing AJ of having a lot of “friends.” Miz lists off the guys that AJ has had around here and suggests that the problem is her, not them.

AJ blames it on them and says they’re not heroes. They got her to fall for them and dumped her. Then Kaitlyn wasn’t even there for her so she had nothing at all. At the end of the day, the only thing that will never abandon her is the Divas Title. This brings out Ziggler who says no woman can get over him. A Ziggler chant starts up but the fans don’t seem to be as into it as they sound.

AJ says they had something special and Ziggler isn’t over it. He’ll never be able to touch her again but here’s Kaitlyn to interrupt. Ziggler may not be able to touch AJ but she can. The arguments begin again but Miz cuts them off. He’s tired of the arguing so he makes a mixed tag for Summerslam which apparently he can just do. The brawl breaks out and the heels both take finishers.

The Raw ReBound talks about Punk vs. Axel and the post match brawl with Lesnar. I was having a hard time believing I could buy into the physical aspect of the match but they made me believe with that brawl.

Del Rio wants to know why he’s fighting Christian tonight. That’s a good question actually. Vickie goes into her rant about how Del Rio needs to respect her and she’s willing to risk him getting hurt. We’re apparently still in the “Vickie is acting like a good GM before going all evil” stage of her job. Wasn’t she supposed to be all mega evil and vindictive against the fans this time?

Fandango vs. Kofi Kingston

The fans sing the Fandango song to start but Kofi knocks him down and stomps away in the corner. Fandango avoids Trouble in Paradise and low bridges Kofi to the floor. Back in and JBL calls Fandango a cross between Mr. Bojangles and Randy Couture. Off to the chinlock for a few seconds before Kofi counters a belly to back into a cross body for two.

Fandango charges into the post but rolls to the floor to avoid the Boom Drop. Kofi baseball slides him down but Summer Rae blocks a top rope dive. Instead Kofi runs the apron and dives onto Fandango, injuring Summer’s ankle in the process. Fandango posts Kofi and of course Summer is fine. Back inside and the guillotine legdrop is good for the pin on Kofi at 4:44.

Rating: C. First and foremost, this was MUCH better for Kofi than the Raw match as he looked like his old self out there tonight. This booking makes me roll my eyes though as the 50/50 stuff doesn’t do anyone any good and makes both guys look weak. Maybe that’s why almost no one goes up from the midcard without a briefcase.

Daniel Bryan says he likes the way he looks and asking him to cut the beard was his breaking point. He won’t change for anyone but he’ll change history by winning the WWE Championship.

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Barrett is clean shaven again and starts fast by pounding Bryan down. Bryan flips over Wade in the corner and hits the running clothesline. There are the kicks but Barrett hits a hard clothesline to send Bryan to the floor. Bryan is whipped into the steps and slammed down for two. Off to a chinlock but Bryan sends Wade forward into the buckle to escape. Winds of Change get two but Wade is more interested in cutting the beard instead of winning. Bryan kicks him away and hits the running knee off the apron. Back in and the swan dive sets up the YES Lock for the submission at 4:08.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here and Barrett continues to be the same guy with a slightly different look. He either needs a completely new character or to get used to being a jobber to the stars for the next few years. This was a fine match for Bryan as he continues to be on fire and keep the fans interested in him.

Sandow looks at a clip of Cody throwing the case in the Gulf of Mexico and pulls out a new leather briefcase which has a brand new contract. He’ll be cashing it in to become world champion of the unwashed masses. Wow it’s almost like the entire deal with Cody throwing the case in the water means absolutely nothing not.

Video on the Wyatts vs. Kane.

Kane vs. 3MB

Cole tells us about the Ring of Fire match, which is going to be a regular match but the ring will be surrounded by fire to prevent interference. All of the Band is in the ring at the same time but Kane easily throws them around. They head to the floor with Slater and McIntyre being thrown into various objects. Back inside and a chokeslam finishes Mahal at 1:33.

The Wyatts pop up on screen to talk about the Ring of Fire match. Bray likes the idea of Kane thinking he’s a demon but thinks it’s funny that Kane believes fire will stop his brothers. The fire is smart enough to be afraid of Wyatt because it can’t hurt him. Bray’s secret is that he’s already dead.

Brock Lesnar says he’s allowed Punk to live this long out of respect for Paul. The Beast is the Best and there’s no professional jealously from Brock. Why should there be? Punk was never an NCAA Champion or the UFC Heavyweight Champion. Being WWE Champion for 434 days is impressive, especially for someone like Punk. Good heel promo from Brock here, similar to the one before his match with Cena.

Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title of course. Del Rio gets a quick two off a shoulder block and Christian isn’t sure what to do. After clapping a bit he runs Alberto over a few times as well and puts on a headlock. Del Rio takes him into the corner for some shots to the ribs but gets caught in a drop toehold into the ropes. Alberto avoids the uppercut from the floor but Christian knocks him outside instead. A baseball slide puts the champion down and we take a break.

Back with Christian pounding away in the corner but having his tornado DDT countered. A double stomp to the back gets two for Alberto but gets rammed into the post while trying to crotch Christian against the steel. Christian’s dive off the top hits the barricade and both guys are down on the floor. Back in and Christian is tossed into the air and crashes down before Del Rio hits a low superkick to the head. Christian is sent into the corner and a USA chant starts up to get under Alberto’s skin.

Alberto puts him in the Tree of Woe for some shots to the ribs before the Canadian goes up top. Del Rio goes up to meet him but Christian shoves him off, sending both guys to the floor as we take another break. Back with Alberto getting two off a middle rope dropkick and starting his attack on the arm. Alberto gets crotched on the top and taken down by a top rope hurricanrana, getting two. Now the uppercut connects and a jumping back elbow looks to set up the Killswitch.

Del Rio counters and hits a quick tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two before sending Christian into the corner. Cole ignores most of the action to recap the rest of the show. Christian escapes from the corner and tries the Killswitch but gets caught in the Backstabber for two. Back up and Christian spears him down for two but a second attempt hits the post.

Christian escapes the armbreaker into a rollup for a close two (I believe the same move he pinned Alberto with a few weeks ago) but the low superkick gets two for the champion. Del Rio pulls him into the middle of the ring but gets caught in a small package for the pin at 13:35 shown of 19:20.

Rating: B+. This sums up WWE’s thinking in general: you have a match that could be a nice addition at Summerslam and they put it here on Smackdown for free instead. Hopefully they change the match at Summerslam now by adding someone else to it (Orton and Van Dam would be candidates given how much the announcers have been raving about the three way) because right now we’re looking at Del Rio retaining, because that’s how WWE works: Christian has beaten him clean twice so it’s time for Del Rio to win and then wonder why people don’t buy him as champion.

Post match Del Rio goes after Christian but gets caught in the Killswitch……AND HERE’S SANDOW! He hands the case to the referee but turns around into a cross body from Cody. Cross Rhodes lays Sandow out to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. We got some good matches here and some build to the PPV so what more can you ask for from Smackdown? The interesting thing is where some big names land on the card. There are still no matches for Mark Henry, Ryback, Shield, RVD or Orton and the card is already filling up. The show tonight was entertaining though with good long wrestling and storyline development which is what Smackdown should always focus on.

Results

Randy Orton b. Rob Van Dam – RKO

Fandango b. Kofi Kingston – Guillotine Legdrop

Daniel Bryan b. Wade Barrett – YES Lock

Kane b. 3MB – Chokeslam to Mahal

Christian b. Alberto Del Rio – Small Package

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Sheamus Out 4-6 Months

Shoulder injury.

I was about to make a Thought of the Day called “What happened to Sheamus?”.  This might be the best thing for him as he DESPERATELY needs to freshen up his character.




On This Day: August 5, 2011 – Smackdown: KB Goes To Smackdown

Smackdown
Date: August 5, 2011
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Booker T, Michael Cole

We have two more shows before Summerslam and this is the first of them. I’d expect a lot of build for Christian vs. Orton V and also some more from the midcard stuff that Smackdown has gotten good at. The big thing though is the freshly face Sheamus continuing Mark Henry. I’m giddy over that one. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Sheamus vs. Henry. The crowd popped huge in the arena for the line of “I’ll fight him.”

Sheamus vs. Great Khali

Here’s a test….kind of. I was confused at first because the tron video said Jinder Mahal, which would have surprised me. Josh immediately gets on my nerves by saying they’re on the campus of the University of Kentucky, which is flat out not true. The city owns Rupp Arena and it’s not on the campus. The only affiliation it has with UK is the basketball team plays there. Everyone makes that mistake that isn’t from here though so it’s understandable. For some reason it’s like they’re afraid to say Lexington.

Sheamus vs. Henry is announced for Summerslam. Khali takes him down quickly with the power game. Sheamus gets him tied up in the ropes so that Khali is facing the crowd and pounds away on the chest. He goes up top but gets chopped in the chest to send him back down to the floor. Time for a nerve hold since Khali isn’t that versatile in the ring, nor does he need to be.

Khali chops away in the corner and Sheamus fires off some double axes to the chest. Sheamus is all fires up but a chop to the head stops the Brogue Kick. It only gets two, despite being the finisher of a former world champion. Vice Grip goes on but Sheamus breaks that too. He elbows Khali in the ribs and the Brogue Kick hits for the pin at 5:22.

Rating: C. Yes it was kind of boring, but what are you expecting here? Khali is a giant and Sheamus is a power brawler. If they had done technical stuff or anything else, it wouldn’t make any sense and would probably be awful at the same time. Not sure what else to say here but this was fine.

The Rewind is Beth eliminating the Bellas and turning heel on Kelly. This was the Slam of the Week in the arena. No idea why they changed it.

AJ vs. Natalya

What an odd choice for a match. Commentary goes silent for some reason and until Josh says something about AJ being the Diva next door or something similar to that. AJ takes her down with a headlock and Natalya can’t figure her out. And never mind as a crucifix is countered into the Sharpshooter for the tap at 2:00. This was nothing.

Post match Nattie turns on AJ, beating her down and hitting a snap suplex on the floor. She says she’s with Beth: no more pretty princesses.

Ryder will be giving the State of the Showski later. The reaction to this is fake as the fans didn’t move for that graphic other than a few people.

Orton gets a big pop and we see a video from last week where Orton hit an RKO on Truth on the table and then a second to go with it. He’s not worried about Summerslam because he knows Christian can’t beat him clean.

Video on Justin Gabriel in South Africa. This is different from last week’s and it has more wrestling in it.

Tyson Kidd vs. Daniel Bryan

Barrett is on commentary. Bryan has new music which sounds like it’s out of a thriller movie trailer. Bryan’s pop was barely there when he came out. Some chain wrestling starts us off and Bryan does his moonsault out of the corner. Kidd is sent to the apron and then to the floor where Bryan hits a big dive through the ropes, shoving Kidd to the floor. Kidd gets a shot in on the knee and starts the attack on it.

Figure four around the post goes on and Bryan is in trouble. Barrett talks about how he doesn’t think Bryan is going to cash in. That makes sense as it would be surprising if he made it that far. We take a break and come back with Kidd working on the knee. I’m not sure if anything actually changed in that break so they might have just picked up immediately where they left off.

A quick leg lock goes on until Bryan starts his comeback. He goes up top but gets crotched instead. Cole and Barrett ramble about how much they hate Bryan. Good to see them talking about the match at all. Kidd hasn’t been talked about once. Bryan fights Kidd off the top and hits a missile dropkick but can’t follow up due to the knee.

He fires off some kicks but has to pause because of the pain, allowing Kidd to hit a (American) dragon screw leg whip and a half crab. Bryan escapes but can’t get the LeBell Lock. Pinfall reversal sequence doesn’t go anywhere but Bryan gets all fired up and hammers away with forearms. BIG kick to the head sets up the guillotine choke and we’re done at 7:00. I timed the match at 7:45 live so we didn’t miss much at all.

Rating: B-. Solid match here that would have been better with more time. The just under 8 minutes wasn’t enough time to get going but Kidd has been able to put on some good stuff over the last few months and I’ve been liking him pretty well. Good stuff here and it’s the kind of win Bryan needs: physical, come from behind, submission wins.

Barrett and Bryan stare each other down post match. There’s a match teased but not officially announced.

State of the Showski is up next.

Here’s Ryder who got a small reaction but it was there. Ryder takes credit for the ratings going up because he’s the assistant GM. He says he’s going to change a lot of stuff but Big Zeke cuts him off. He got zero reaction at all. Zeke says Ryder must think he’s here to beat up Ryder for being in the handicap match last week. Jackson isn’t happy but Ryder says he thought they had an agreement.

They’re cut off by Cody’s music and here’s one half of the biggest rib in wrestling history (think about it: the sons of Dusty Rhodes were a metrosexual and whatever Goldust was. How could that not be a massive rib?) along with Ted who is in wrestling gear. Cody says Jackson has sour grapes and is unbecoming of a champion. He says Jackson is making the championship look bad so Cody should just take it from him and resurrect it, just like he’s resurrected Ted’s career.

Jackson says he’s merely using DiBiase. Cody says Ted has free will and Ted should come out and beat Jackson right now. That’s up to Ted and Ryder though. Ryder says cool but here’s Teddy (who got a surprisingly good reaction) to protest. Ryder is NOT the assistant GM but rather Teddy’s assistant. Teddy makes Ryder vs. Jackson for right now. Gee it’s a good thing they’re both in wrestling gear.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Zack Ryder

Cody and Ted are banned from ringside. Cole hates Ryder so I’m really not sure if he’s face or heel here. Ryder takes over and gets some kicks to the head. Front facelock doesn’t work at all and Jackson catches a middle rope cross body to start up the slams. Rack and we’re done at 2:30 with the tapping coming on Jackson’s head.

Teddy is in his office and here’s Aksana, now with long black hair and a leather suit. There’s bad romantic sounding music in the background. She wants to talk business with him so he gives her one of his cards. She asks for his personal number which he gives to her. That was rather odd.

Mark Henry is up next.

At this point the show stopped taping and HHH came to the ring and talked about having stress. Ryder was still in the ring and HHH got in some one liners about various wrestlers. He asked the crowd if they could keep a secret and dropped Ryder with a Pedigree. Awesome moment and the pop of the night.

Mark Henry vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Vlad fires away but can’t really get anywhere. He manages the trapping headbutts but Henry remembers that he’s a monster heel and plants Kozlov with the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 1:15.

Post match he Pillmanizes Kozlov’s leg, which explains him leaving since Kozlov was released today. Sheamus comes out late for the save with a chair. Henry bails, not wanting to fight until Summerslam. Kozlov goes out on a stretcher.

After a break Sheamus says that Henry isn’t just beating people but rather is taking their ability and will to do what they love. That won’t happen to Sheamus though because no one can take away his passion to compete here. There are many reasons but the biggest is because he’s Irish, which means he has the Luck of the Irish. The following is a near direct quote of the next few things he says: “And that means I was born with a 24 karat horseshoe up me arse. And if need be I can rip that horseshoe out and leave hoofprints on him.” Oh and Henry is a whale that belongs in the ocean with Shamu.

Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga/JTG vs. Trent Barreta/Uso Brothers

The Usos do their rhythmic dance thing. Remember when they were all sophisticated or whatever it was? Jey vs. JTG to start us off. Off to McGillicutty and then Otunga rather quickly. And now let’s talk about what the announcers are tweeting at ringside. Apparently Booker said Cole is a tool. Jimmy is getting beaten down at the moment and there isn’t much else to say as far as the match goes. Hot tag to Trent who is someone I’d like to see more of. Everything breaks down and the champions hit that elbow drop/backbreaker combo to end Baretta at 3:43.

Rating: D+. Just a six man here and nothing interesting at all. I have no idea why Baretta and JTG of all people got picked. They’re not bad or anything but why them? Anyway this was fine but the Usos need to get their title shot already, hopefully winning the titles. I’ve liked them recently and some fresh champions would be nice.

Johnny Curtis sees the writing on the wall and will be in action next week.

Raw ReBound is about the Cena vs. Punk vs. HHH moments from Raw and how the match at Summerslam was made.

Christian says he isn’t surprised that the match with Orton is now no holds barred. Everyone has been on Orton’s side. Truth pops up to say it was a conspiracy. He says not to let the Little Jimmys fool him and that tonight Orton is gonna get got. Christian still doesn’t know who Little Jimmy is.

Randy Orton/John Morrison vs. R-Truth/Christian

When did Morrison lose his pyro? Oh ok that part wasn’t on the broadcast. Kind of surprised they didn’t have that for the live crowd though. Orton and Truth start us off and Truth hammers him down into the corner. Morrison comes in and Truth runs so he can tag in the Canadian. There’s that big spinning springboard kick for two.

Christian takes him down though and it’s off to the coward crazy R-Truth. Suplex into the Stunner is countered (called that move by Booker) and Morrison goes all angry JoMo on him, hitting the running knee for two. Christian breaks it up and Orton chases him to the floor and into the crowd where we take a break. Back with Morrison and Truth hammering away on each other. During the break Orton stared Christian down a lot while the other two laid down in the ring.

Truth works on the neck which is logical. Good thing that when he went nuts he didn’t lose his wrestling psychology. Christian comes in and gets a neckbreaker for two. Have one of those ever broken a neck? Middle rope headbutt misses but Christian is smart enough to take Orton out before John can make the tag. Truth comes in and does a little dance which makes it look like he wants to make a little love to Orton.

Morrison comes out of nowhere with the C4 to put both himself and Truth down. Hot tag brings in Orton and the fans are all fired up. Powerslam puts Christian down and Orton gets a jackknife cover for two. Killswitch is blocked into the backbreaker for two. Orton grabs a rollup out of the corner for two. Christian hits a spinebuster that Booker calls a sidewalk slam. Spear misses but Christian avoids the RKO.

Instead Orton gets him in punting position but Truth and Morrison come back in. Morrison sends him to the floor and dives out onto him. Christian jumps Orton but gets caught in the elevated DDT. Truth comes in and takes the RKO but Christian grabs the Killswitch and pins Orton 11:55 shown of what I thought was closer to 20 minutes but whatever.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot as the ending was rather intricate with all of the spots intertwining very well. The whole point of this was to make it clear that Christian could get the pin on Orton in what you could call a clean method and that’s what he did here. This worked well and was a solid main event that did a few things well. Good stuff.

Overall Rating: B. This was a moving day episode of Smackdown. Not a lot actually happened here but a lot of stuff for the future was set up. You can see most of Summerslam now which you could only see pieces of a week ago at this time. The stuff that we got was pretty good and the show is shaping up pretty well. Also Aksana being back with those abs of her is never a bad thing.

Results

Sheamus b. Great Khali – Brogue Kick

Natalya b. AJ – Sharpshooter

Daniel Bryan b. Tyson Kidd – Guillotine Choke

Ezekiel Jackson b. Zack Ryder – Torture Rack

Mark Henry b. Vladimir Kozlov – World’s Strongest Slam

David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty/JTG b. Uso Brothers/Trent Barreta – Elbow drop/backbreaker combination to Barreta

Christian/R-Truth b. Randy Orton/John Morrison – Killswitch to Orton

 

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On This Day: August 3, 2012 – Smackdown: GM-Arooni

Smackdown
Date: August 3, 2012
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

The big story tonight is that we’re going to find out who the new GM is tonight. For some reason WWE decided to tell us who it was on WWE.com the day that it happened but it’s not like they care about Smackdown anyway. Other than that I’m sure Sheamus and Del Rio will find ways to bore us that the world never dreamed was possible. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the Indians’ GM. Thanks for not trading for a starter or two and dooming our season.

Here’s Vince to open the show. Josh says this is the first time Vince has been on Smackdown in three years. That can’t be true can it? He talks about the process of picking a new GM and says it has to be someone the people respect. The new GM is Booker T. Cole: “Thank goodness! That means he won’t be on commentary!!!” Booker thanks Vince and the Board but is interrupted by Del Rio.

Del Rio goes into his schtick about becoming the new world champion and Booker tells him to stop sucking up. How exactly he was sucking up isn’t really clear but whatever. Booker talks about what Del Rio said on Monday about Sheamus, including how Sheamus is beneath him. Sheamus is a peasant and was born poor and here he is. Sheamus congratulates the new GM on being the new GM and says the first pint is on him tonight.

Sheamus says he’s proud of where he came from and says he wouldn’t take a few weeks off out of fear like Del Rio has done. Del Rio says he won’t be competing until Summerslam but Booker disagrees. Both of them will be in the ring tonight but Del Rio says no. Booker says yes he is and he’s facing Randy Orton. I’m so glad they spent the time having Del Rio say he wouldn’t fight until Summerslam and made it last less than four days. Sheamus’ match is up now.

Sheamus vs. Tensai

Tensai cuts an inset promo in Japanese. Ok then. They brawl into the corner to start and Tensai knocks Sheamus back with a shoulder block. Sheamus grabs the arm but it turns into another slugout. The champ knocks him into the corner and takes Tensai down to the mat for a chinlock. Tensai comes back with an elbow to the face and pounds away. For the life of me I don’t get why they don’t just let Tensai be Albert or A-Train again. At this point he’s just A-Train speaking Japanese and no one cares, so why not change it back?

Sheamus shrugs off the punches to the face and knocks Tensai to the floor. Back in and Tensai knocks him down again and stomps in the corner. Sheamus kicks him away and pulls himself to the top but has to jump over Tensai instead of hitting the top rope shoulder. Irish Curse is broken up so Sheamus clotheslines Tensai to the floor instead. Tensai catches Sheamus in a dive off the apron and rams him into the post as we take a break.

Back with Tensai hitting a Vader Bomb to the back for two. A bearhug goes on but Sheamus quickly escapes. He can’t slam Tensai so Tensai kicks him in the head for two. Another Vader Bomb is broken up but so it the electric chair Sheamus wanted to try. Instead he just knocks Tensai off the ropes and out to the floor. When all else fails go simple I guess.

There are the ten forearms and Tensai appears to have a cut on his stomach. As Tensai is coming back in he walks into a powerslam for two. Sheamus gets sent into the post and the Baldo Bomb gets two. A Tensai charge misses and the Brogue Kick gets the pin at 10:20 shown of 13:50.

Rating: C. From a technical standpoint this was a pretty good power brawl, but my goodness these guys aren’t interesting at all. Tensai is a warm body with a bald head and tattoos on his face and that’s it. Seriously, what else is there to say about him? Sheamus is one of my favorites but he has almost no character at all. The match was fine but my goodness I don’t know why they think people are going to care about these two or Del Rio for that matter.

Eve sucks up to Booker and tries to get a job. Booker doesn’t seem interested and hires Teddy Long as his senior adviser. Booker sends Eve in her little black dress out.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Cole takes a jab at Sarah Palin before the match for some reason. Uh oh, she might yell at him on Facebook. Cesaro says hi to us in five languages before the match. Cesaro immediately takes Santino into the corner but gets rolled up for two. A gutwrench suplex puts Marella down and it’s off to a chinlock. Santino makes his comeback with his usual stuff but the Cobra is blocked. Gotch Style Neutralizer is broken up and the Cobra gets two due to Cesaro’s leg being under the rope. Out to the floor and Santino is sent into the barricade. Back inside the Neutralizer gets the pin at 2:34.

Bryan is in the back and we get a video on his psych evaluation from Raw. Bryan says he has no comments and that he’s going to be saying NO a lot more often because the fans have stolen his catchphrase. He also doesn’t need another psychiatric evaluation. As he’s shouting no, the lights go out and it’s time for a six man.

Christian/Chris Jericho/Kane vs. Daniel Bryan/Dolph Ziggler/The Miz

Bryan has a NO NO NO shirt now. Christian and Bryan start things off and the fans chant YES. Bryan takes him to the mat and stomps away but Christian speeds things up and takes Bryan down with a shoulder block. Off to Kane with the top rope clothesline for two. Bryan avoids a charge to send Kane into the corner and it’s off to Miz. Jericho comes in but gets distracted by Ziggler, allowing Miz to kick him in the face.

Dolph comes in legally and is immediately sent to the floor by Jericho. Vickie acts as a human shield to block a dive and we take a break. Back with Miz holding Christian in a chinlock. Back up and Christian grabs a sunset flip for two on Miz but the champ kicks Christian in the face for two. Off to Bryan for some NO kicks followed by a Ziggler dropkick for two.

Back to Miz as the heels are working well together. Another boot to the face gets yet another two count on Christian and it’s off to a chinlock. Miz’s running clothesline in the corner eats boots and Christian takes him down with a jumping back elbow off the middle rope. Double tags bring in Bryan and Jericho and they run the ropes. Jericho changes directions and hits a springboard dropkick to take out Ziggler.

Lionsault gets two on Bryan and it’s off to Kane. Christian and Miz tumble to the floor, landing on Kane in the process. Jericho puts Bryan in the Liontamer but Jericho has to hit a Codebreaker on Ziggler. The distraction lets Bryan roll him up for the pin at 8:30 shown of 12:00.

Rating: C+. This was fine for a midcard six man tag. It’s very good to see Smackdown putting on some longer matches since Raw doesn’t seem all that interested in pushing anyone new outside of the same group of people that always dominate the TV time. I’m looking forward to some of these blowoff matches and having three feuds in one match is never a bad thing.

Bryan shouts NO in a fan’s face post match.

Orton says the WWE is his life and being away from Raw and Smackdown was like taking the breath away from him. Del Rio is only the #1 contender because he hasn’t faced Orton. Tonight it’s an RKO for Del Rio.

Jinder Mahal vs. Ryback

Ryback actually gets to cut an inset promo, talking about how he lives by the rule of eat or be eaten and everywhere he looks in the WWE, he sees food. Feed him more. Not bad. Ryback slams him to the mat and rams Mahal’s head into the mat to start. Mahal comes back with the jumping knee to the head but a second one is countered into a spinebuster to put Mahal down. They head outside and Mahal hits Ryback in the head with I think the microphone for the DQ at 1:13.

The Prime Time Players want t-shirts.

Darren Young vs. R-Truth

Truth goes right after Young to start and pounds him into the corner and then against the ropes. AW is at ringside and has the mic again. Truth is sent to the floor and Titus gets in some shots, so here’s Kofi for the save. AW throws his jacket at Kofi’s head so Kofi chases him off. Truth tries to suplex Young back in but Titus trips him up for two. Kofi is back now but gets his head taken off by Titus. The distraction lets Young hit the double knee gutbuster for the pin at 1:55.

Raw ReBound is about Punk’s explanation and the eventual announcement of the triple threat match.

TOUT IT OUT ABOUT PUNK BABY! Oh my goodness these people get on my nerves.

We recap Booker being announced as GM.

Booker is on the phone in the back when Layla comes in. Cody Rhodes comes in to brag about retiring Booker earlier this year. Layla leaves and Booker makes Cody vs. Sin Cara for next week.

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio sends him into the corner immediately and works on the arm. Orton comes back with a clothesline and pounds away in the corner. Del Rio goes to the floor but comes back in and rams Orton into the top rope to take over. Out to the floor we go and Del Rio kicks Orton in the chest. Del Rio hooks a chinlock but Orton escapes and hits his circle of stomps. Knee drop misses and Alberto takes over again.

Orton gets sent into the corner and Del Rio kicks him again. I’m not sure if the black trunks are helping Del Rio or not. Orton avoids a charging Alberto, sending Del Rio’s shoulder into the post. That gets two and Orton starts his finishing sequence. The powerslam puts Del Rio down as does the Elevated DDT. Here comes the RKO but Ricardo runs in for the DQ at 6:13.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here at all but thank goodness they didn’t have Orton get a clean pin over the #1 contender here. I don’t think I could take another triple threat at this point. Actually scratch that as it would be better than Sheamus vs. Del Rio again. The match was really short for a Smackdown main event, but then again we had to TOUT stuff earlier so some of the time had to be given away.

Post match Del Rio goes after the arm but Orton blocks the armbreaker and dropkicks Del Rio to the floor. Sheamus throws Del Rio in for the RKO to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. After last week’s good show, this was a disappointment. The main event didn’t do anything, but that’s partially because it was about advancing a feud that no one wants to see. Booker as GM is a good enough choice as he’s still well known enough to be considered a big deal as a boss. This show was ok overall but as is becoming the norm with Smackdown, if you missed it you never would know the difference.

Results

Sheamus b. Tensai – Brogue Kick

Antonio Cesaro b. Santino Marella – Gotch Style Neutralizer

Daniel Bryan/The Miz/Dolph Ziggler b. Christian/Kane/Chris Jericho – Rollup to Jericho

Ryback b. Jinder Mahal via DQ when Mahal hit Ryback with the microphone

Darren Young b. R-Truth – Double Knee Gutbuster

Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered

 

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Smackdown – August 2, 2013: With A Backslide!

Smackdown
Date: August 2, 2013
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Alex Riley

After the mess that was Raw on Monday hopefully things pick up tonight. Last week’s show was very interesting with the focus on everything but the main event matches. That’s the kind of show Smackdown needs to be: something completely different from Raw and not a rehash of everything we sit through for three hours. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Del Rio to announce his Summerslam opponent. Alberto says when he was champion before the fans didn’t support him so he has nothing to thank them for. Now he’s champion again and there’s nothing they can do about it. He does however want to thank Vickie Guerrero for allowing her to pick his Summerslam opponent.

Del Rio says Cena picked the troll Daniel Bryan to hide from Del Rio, so maybe Alberto should pick the beast Brock Lesnar. Well he’s taken already so maybe it should be Houston’s own Booker T. That won’t work either because everything that comes out of Houston is worthless. That’s the best insult he can come up with? Then Del Rio came up with the perfect opponent to grant a first ever world title shot: Ricardo Rodriguez.

This brings out Vickie who says Del Rio is trying to disrespect him. She speaks some Spanish and calls Ricardo a jiggly little manchild. Alberto says he wasn’t trying to disrespect her and he’ll pick Brooklyn Brawler instead. Vickie says Vince wouldn’t like that pick so Del Rio will face the winner of RVD vs. Orton vs. Christian tonight.

This is a good example of why GM’s are a waste of time. The whole segment took over ten minutes and could have easily been accomplished by saying “tonight there’s a triple threat match for the #1 contendership.” Instead we have to bring out Vickie and listen to Alberto when we could have used this time for anything else. It develops Del Rio as a cowardly heel a little bit, but the same thing could have been accomplished in a backstage segment with him recommending Ricardo or the Brawler as his opponents.

Kaitlyn vs. AJ for the title later.

We recap Cody stealing the briefcase last week and throwing it in the Gulf of Mexico.

Cody Rhodes vs. Jack Swagger

Colter doesn’t start talking until Cody is already on the apron. Rhodes doesn’t want to listen so he decks Swagger to get us going. Cody hits a quick uppercut and a knee to the side of the head for two. Swagger comes back with his powerslam/belly to belly and a clothesline for two. Cody fights up but the Disaster Kick is knocked out of the air and a Vader Bomb gets two. The gutwrench powerbomb is countered into a sunset flip for the pin for Cody at 1:57.

Post break Cody goes on a rant against Sandow for being so stuck up and bragging about himself. Cody compares throwing the briefcase into the Gulf to the Deep Water Horizon oil spill. “That was a joke.” Sandow comes in and beats him down for the bad line.

Sin Cara vs. Big E. Langston

Langston runs over Cara as the lights go orange. Cara mostly hits what was supposed to be a dropkick for two as Ziggler is watching from the back. Big E. takes him down with a headlock and drives an elbow in the chest. Langston goes old school with an abdominal stretch and even gets caught holding the ropes. Riley: “Only illegal if you get caught.” Cole: “He did get caught. That’s why the referee was counting.” Cara springboards into the Big Ending but slips down the back and fires off some kicks. A standing Lionsault is caught in the Big Ending for the pin at 2:52. It was longer than I was expecting but Langston dominated.

Wyatt Family promo focusing on their issues with Kane.

Layla and Kaitlyn are in the back with the Brit saying she’ll support Kaitlyn in her match tonight. Kaitlyn’s idea for AJ: “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice you’re going to get speared.” Layla says she’s been around a long time and Kaitlyn is the real deal. They hug and Layla smiles a lot.

Del Rio yells at Vickie for going back on her word about letting him pick his opponent. She accuses him of being afraid when Brad Maddox comes in. Apparently Del Rio will be on Raw and under his jurisdiction. Isn’t he there every week?

Fandango vs. CM Punk

This is a result of Fandango interrupting Punk last week. Fandango dances around so Punk kicks him in the legs to take over. Punk fires off strikes but gets caught in a headlock from the dancer. A spinning kick to the ribs and a high elbow take Fandango down for two but he sends Punk into the corner to take over again. A GTS attempt is escaped and we take a break.

Back with Fandango coming around Summer to send Punk into the steps. Punk slides back in at the last second and Fandango starts in on the arm. He drives knees and elbows into Punk’s face before we hit the chinlock. So much for the arm stuff. Fandango cranks on the chinlock and wraps his leg around Punk for extra leverage.

Punk fights up but a hard elbow to the face gets two. Fandango misses a splash and Punk hits the running knee in the corner. Fandango rolls to the apron and gets in a kick to the head and a falcon’s arrow for two. The top rope legdrop is countered and a superplex sets up the Anaconda Vice to make Fandango tap at 9:40 shown of 12:00.

Rating: C+. Nice match here as Fandango got to show off here. This is the kind of match that can do midcarders a lot of good. Punk gets a competitive win and Fandango gets to look good as well, but he doesn’t lose anything because he has no business beating the star. Good booking here and it gives Punk something to do for a week.

We recap the opening of the show.

RVD says Christian and Orton aren’t pushovers but they’re not Rob Van Dam. Christian comes in and says he deserves one more match. Orton comes in and says he’s fine with winning the World Heavyweight Champion while still holding the briefcase. Van Dam says he’s here to win titles, not to stroll down memory lane.

Divas Title: Kaitlyn vs. AJ

AJ is defending and Kaitlyn, the hometown girl, has Layla with her. Kaitlyn takes her straight into the corner to start but AJ comes back with a quick sleeper. She wraps Kaitlyn up on the mat as Layla plays cheerleader. Kaitlyn gets up and rams the champion into the corner but AJ trips her up and dances around the ring. The blonde comes back with a gutbuster to send AJ to the floor but Layla gets in the way of the spear and smiles. AJ gets in a cheap shot and the Black Widow gets the submission at 3:02.

Rating: D. This falls under the category of turns that surprised no one and that no one cares about. It’s a good way to shift away from AJ vs. Kaitlyn though as that story has been played out for months now. Layla works better as a heel but hopefully she doesn’t ditch the shorts. Match was nothing.

The Raw ReBound recaps the Vince/Bryan situation and the double main event from Monday.

Randy Orton vs. Christian vs. Rob Van Dam

The winner gets Del Rio at Summerslam, but the booking makes little sense. Cole says Orton and Christian are here because they pinned the champion. Van Dam lost to the same guy clean in less than three minutes but he gets the same reward as guys who got clean pinfalls? The champion comes out and says he’ll be watching the three stooges beat the guacamole out of each other. One of them will be tapping out at Summerslam and does anyone really believe him?

Orton is sent to the floor and Van Dam kicks Christian down but Randy trips up Rolling Thunder. Van Dam sends Orton into the steps and puts him on the barricade followed by the spin kick to the back. Van Dam celebrates but gets caught by a spear from Christian as we take a break. Back with Christian getting two on Van Dam off a tornado DDT. Rob rolls to the floor and Orton pounds away on the Canadian. Randy hits a superplex for a delayed two and Rob is back with the kicks all around. A monkey flip (which isn’t unique Cole) sends Christian flying and the split legged moonsault gets two on Orton.

Van Dam charges into Orton’s knee but Christian counters Randy’s Elevated DDT. Rob is sent to the floor as well and Christian joins them. Rob slams Christian down and goes back in for a BIG flip dive to take everyone out as we take another break. Back with Orton and Christian slugging it out and Van Dam on the floor. Orton catches Christian’s middle rope dropkick and starts a pinfall reversal sequence. Christian takes over and knocks Van Dam off the apron but the spear misses. The middle rope back elbow puts Orton down but Rob kicks Orton down before the Killswitch.

Another kick puts Christian down and the Five Star connects for a delayed two, allowing Orton to make the save. Van Dam hangs on to avoid the powerslam but Orton pops up to catch Rolling Thunder in the powerslam in a cool move. Rob fights out of the Elevated DDT but Orton dropkicks him to block a springboard. The Elevated DDT lays Christian out but Orton has to hit the RKO on a charging Van Dam. The distraction allows Christian to backslide Orton for the pin and the title shot at 10:20 shown of 15:50.

Rating: B. Very good triple threat here with the crowd loving Van Dam, Orton being the likely winner and Christian being the man in the middle who steals the win at the end. They didn’t really get to near falls until the end which made the match flow much better. Good stuff here and nice to see Christian getting a shot at a major show. And he got it with a backslide!

Post match Orton teases turning on Christian but shakes his hand instead. Rob shakes his hand too. Christian is about to say something but Del Rio jumps him from behind to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a pretty solid episode as we’re finally getting somewhere with the Del Rio losses. The main event was good and the Punk match was fine, giving us two good matches in two hours. Only the Divas match was bad but at only three minutes long there isn’t much to complain about. It’s a good show as Summerslam finally has more than two matches with about two weeks left before the show.

Results

Cody Rhodes b. Jack Swagger – Sunset Flip

Big E. Langston b. Sin Cara – Big Ending

CM Punk b. Fandango – Anaconda Vice

AJ b. Kaitlyn – Black Widow

Christian b. Randy Orton and Rob Van Dam – Backslide to Orton

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Smackdown – July 26, 2013: Well That Was Different

Smackdown
Date: July 26, 2013
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re closing in on Summerslam and the main story on Smackdown is we have no #1 contender to the title. Orton beat Del Rio clean last week but wasn’t even on Raw to acknowledge the win. Alberto doesn’t have any feud going right now and is just kind of floating around having random match after random match. Odds are tonight will be spent building up the Raw matches for the PPV. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence gets things going.

Randy Orton vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow is glad the fans have taken the time off from watching the bug zapper to be here tonight. He’s the uncrowned world champion and we’re welcome for that. Randy elbows him down to start but Sandow grabs a headlock to slow things down. Some shoulders into the ribs have Orton in trouble but he sends Sandow into the corner and fires off right hands to take over. A suplex gets two and Randy stomps on Sandow’s fingers. Damien comes back with a shot to the knee but Orton throws him out to the floor.

A drop onto the barricade gets two for Randy but Sandow fires off shoulder in the corner to get a breather. Orton punches out of the corner and knocks Sandow to the apron. The Elevated DDT is countered with a guillotine on the top rope for two as we take a break. Back with Orton pounding down right hands in the corner but Sandow drapes him over the top rope for two. We hit a bodyscissors on Orton as we get an awkward audio edit. The fans sounded like they were chanting We Want Cody but it almost immediately turned into a Randy chant, only to go back to the Cody chant a few moments later.

Sandow hits the Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up Elbow for two before going back to the bodyscissors. Orton punches his way out and hits the powerslam but here’s Cody for a distraction before the Elevated DDT can connect. Rhodes picks up the briefcase and walks away with it, allowing Orton to hit the RKO for the pin at 11:26 shown of 14:26.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing special because there was no reason to think Sandow was going to win. It’s the flaw with how WWE books Money in the Bank: they think it’s some magic pill that makes up for months of losses for a guy like Sandow, but people realize the guy never wins anything. I did some quick research on this and Sandow has won a total of two matches on Raw or Smackdown this year. People aren’t going to buy him as a world title contender because he beat Brodus and R-Truth but lost every other match on the main shows. Why WWE thinks this works is beyond me but we’re stuck with it.

Cody takes the briefcase with him.

Here’s Punk to an eruption with something to say. Punk says he got what he wanted with the Best vs. the Beast. Heyman taught him a lot about being the dirtiest player in the game, including how to go after your opponent’s weak spot and that’s exactly what he’s going to do to Lesnar at Summerslam. Lesnar’s greatest weakness is trusting Paul Heyman which is what Punk did for so many years. Paul did help Punk get to the WWE but it was all for himself.

Heyman knew that Punk was going to be successful so he put a stamp of approval on Punk to look like he did something. Paul always wanted Punk vs. Lesnar but he wanted to be in both corners. At Summerslam, Punk is going to take everything Heyman has ever wanted and then he’s going to kick Lesnar in the face over and over until there’s nothing left of him. Then there’s only going to be Heyman left……and here’s Fandango. He dances to the ring but the beating is on before anything can be said. Punk puts Fandango to sleep and is left alone in the ring.

1-800-Fella ad. It’s amusing but can we please give Sheamus something interesting to do? The guy is talented and over but he gets these horrible feuds where he’s treated like he’s invincible which doesn’t do anything for anyone.

Prime Time Players/Wade Barrett vs. Mark Henry/Usos

So Henry is a face again just a month after they told us how horrible he was for lying about his retirement. Such is life in wrestling. Jey cranks on Darren’s arm to start before it’s off to Jimmy for some right hands. Titus breaks up the offense with a cheap shot and it’s off to Barrett for some forearms in the corner.

The announcers keep us up to date with Royal Family news because that’s what people watch wrestling to hear. Titus comes in for a chinlock followed by a fall away slam to send Jimmy flying. The Uso comes back with a kick to the head and it’s hot tag to Henry. Everything breaks down and the World’s Strongest Slam ends Titus at 3:29.

Rating: D+. Quick tag team formula here with Henry playing the role of house cleaner perfectly. Shield vs. Henry/Usos should be good stuff if they’re given enough time on Monday but something tells me they’ll have to rush through everything which brings things down. On an unrelated note, why Darren Young still has a job eludes me.

Alberto comes in to see Vickie and suggests Vickie should let him pick his opponent for Summerslam. Vickie gives him a week to think about it but RVD, Alberto’s opponent tonight, comes in to offer himself as an opponent.

Sandow is looking for the briefcase and finds Sin Cara, who doesn’t look to be nearly as muscular as I remember him being. Real or imposter, Cara can’t help Damien and the search continues.

Rob Van Dam vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title. RVD fires off right hands to start but Del Rio bails to the floor to break the momentum. He stays on the floor for a long time as Cole makes fun of JBL’s title reign. “You held the title for a very long time without ever winning a match.” JBL: “Watch it.” Back in and RVD pounds away in the corner but the referee pulls him back with Del Rio shouting NO MAS. Rob goes after him again but gets caught by a superkick for the pin at 2:11. Of that 2:11, they made contact for maybe 40 seconds.

Sandow is still looking for the case. He comes up on Mark Henry who steps aside to reveal Booker T. Booker is a big man but Henry literally blocked him out. Neither will say where Cody is but they agree he’s a thief. Sandow says Booker used to be GM and Henry has to talk Mr. T. down.

Here’s AJ for the state of her mind address. Before she gets started we get a clip of Langston nearly kissing her last week. AJ says she’s here to clear the air: she isn’t just a nudge away from a breakdown because of the issues with Kaitlyn and Dolph, although she goes on for a good while about how horrible Ziggler is. She’s just fine because she’s the Divas Champion and will be forever. Just to show you how fine she is, here are the keys to Ziggler’s house. She planned to use them to break in and burn the place down but here’s Ziggler to interrupt her.

Dolph says he’s passed out thousands of those keys before and the locks have been changed a few times since her. AJ smiles and has Langston pull out Dolph’s suitcase. Ziggler says everything in the ring right now is replaceable so AJ pulls out Dolph’s wallet. She has a pair of scissors for some reason but Ziggler says a day at the DMV is a picnic compared to any time with AJ.

She cuts up his passport but Dolph says there’s a passport agency two blocks from his house and the girl there owes him a favor because of something that isn’t PG. AJ gets angrier and angrier and throws out Ziggler’s cash. There goes the Visa as the fans tell AJ she’s a psycho. AJ insists she’s fine and starts throwing around Dolph’s clothes, only to break down when she sees one of her old shirts.

Dolph keeps shrugging this off as AJ freaks out more and more. She goes to the floor and slaps the apron, only to walk into a spear from Kaitlyn. Langston goes to check on her and gets a Fameasser on the floor. This was different but I liked it for the most part. Ziggler shrugging off all the losses made sense given how replaceable all that stuff was.

Raw ReBound talks about Bryan’s gauntlet match and Cena making the save post match.

Wyatt Family vs. Tons of Funk

Bray is in the rocking chair so this is Luke Harper/Erick Rowan doing the work. Harper goes right after Tensai to start but everything quickly breaks down. Brodus is sent to the floor so Rowan can drag Tensai across the ring by the chin. Harper hits his discus lariat on Tensai and a splash from Rowan is good for the pin at 1:03.

Post match Bray says this isn’t Tensai’s fault and hits Sister Abigail (spinning downward spiral). Bray says he suspects Kane will be looking for him but he’s not too hard to find. If you need him, he’ll be right here with all his friends. They’ve been waiting for Kane and always have been. Still good stuff.

Sandow comes in to see Vickie but she doesn’t know about the case. She says give it time but Sandow wants it back tonight and storms off.

Christian vs. Jack Swagger

Before the match, Colter asks if we’re in Texas or north Mexico. The border agent didn’t bother to check Colter’s car though because Colter is a Real American. Swagger takes him to the mat and does push-ups on Christian’s back while shouting WE THE PEOPLE. Back up and Christian slaps him in the face before firing off right hands in the corner. Christian backdrops him to the floor and follows up with a pretty lame plancha. Back in and Swagger runs the ropes for a belly to belly and we go to a break.

Back with Christian hitting a middle rope missile dropkick and an uppercut to the jaw. A high cross misses Swagger but the gutwrench powerbomb is countered into a failed Killswitch bid. Another powerbomb attempt is countered into the reverse DDT for two but Swagger comes back with a kind of belly to belly for two. The Vader Bomb hits knees and Christian’s sunset flip out of the corner gets two. Swagger misses a charge into the post and the Killswitch is good for the pin at 4:46 shown of 7:46.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here. Swagger has wrestled the same match for years now and this was about the same thing you would have expected from him. Christian was his usual smooth self out there but there’s nothing new to see here at all. It wasn’t a bad match or anything but it just came and went.

Before Christian can leave, here’s an irate Sandow to continue the search for his briefcase. As soon as the authorities get here, there’s going to be a warrant issued for Cody’s arrest. Vickie needs to fire Cody for being a thief but before Sandow can keep ranting, Cody pops up on screen with the case. He’s not in the arena but rather in front of the Gulf of Mexico. If Sandow wants his case back, he can come get it.

Damien storms out and goes outside as we take a break. Sandow goes after Cody but Rhodes threatens to throw the case in the water. Sandow keeps coming but Cody gets ready to throw it. Damien admits that Cody is smarter and carried the Scholars. He even has better facial hair. Cody says Damien has earned this and throws the case in the water. Damien shrieks and stops dead as Cody leaves. Damien can’t swim so he can’t go after the case, but he dives in anyway. He can’t get to it and comes back to land where he cries to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Well that was different. I’ll give them points for focusing on something different to build the show around, but at the end of the day there’s so little interest in Sandow or the title he can cash in on that it’s hard to get excited. Cody vs. Sandow should be a fun feud but it’s not going anywhere unless Cody wins the case or Del Rio drops the title.

The rest of the show was entertaining and it was very nice to see the focus off the traditional stuff. Using Smackdown to develop these other characters and stories is a great use of the time and far more interesting than a Raw supplement. Good stuff this week and a different kind of show.

Results

Randy Orton b. Damien Sandow – RKO

Mark Henry/Usos b. Prime Time Players/Wade Barrett – World’s Strongest Slam to O’Neil

Alberto Del Rio b. Rob Van Dam – Superkick

Wyatt Family b. Tons of Funk – Splash to Tensai

Christian b. Jack Swagger – Killswitch

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Thought of the Day: The World Heavyweight Championship Dartboard

This contains a spoiler for this week’s Smackdown and next week’s Raw.At the moment, the WHC picture is a mess with no sign of any structure or semblance of a story.  Del Rio lost clean to Orton last week, beat Sheamus this week, and is going to beat Van Dam and lose to Christian on the next two TV shows.  So far these matches are totally random and seem to have no build to anything.  Odds are we’ll get a multi man match for the title at Summerslam, but with the matches just happening with no consequences, it makes the title look worthless.  Del Rio is just thrown out there and loses most of the time, but we’re supposed to still care about his title defenses.

 

Short version: quit having your champion wrestle random matches and lose most of them.




Thought of the Day: TNA Is Not Competition For WWE

This is one of those ideas that makes no sense when you actually think about it.The common statement you hear is TNA needs to stay around to be competition to WWE.  TNA has been around for over eleven years and has never, not once, come close to competing with them.  Someone that thinks they have been, please tell me how they’ve competed.  Simply being in the same business and producing the same kind of material isn’t competing.  By that logic a seven year old writing a story in school is competition for Stephen King.  TNA’s highest rating ever for Impact is a long distance from Smackdown’s lowest number in years.  About three times as many people watch Raw as watch Impact.  The PPV buys are so lopsided it’s unreal.

 

TNA doesn’t compete with WWE.  They don’t come close and they won’t for a very long time.  If TNA goes out of business (and no I don’t think they are anytime soon), WWE isn’t going to be breathing a sigh of relief.  TNA is a promotion which has done better than most companies, but to even think they’re a serious competitor to WWE at this point or any point in their history is laughable.