Smackdown – September 9, 2011 – Somebody Get Mark Henry A Twinkie

Smackdown
Date: September 8, 2011
Location: Huntington Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

We have two more shows before Night of Champions and to the best of my knowledge we have one match on Smackdown set. There’s no IC Title match and the tag title match is on Raw. Wait…are there any other title matches from this show? If there are I can’t think of any. This isn’t exactly a stacked card from the Blue team and Cody is hardly ever on TV anymore because he actually got some momentum and we can’t have that no can we? Let’s get to it.

A video about Mark Henry starts us off. He’s big and mean and strong. Also he’s injured a lot of people because that’s what big mean strong people do.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is being in a dentist chair for two hours next week.

Here’s Henry who almost has to win the title to keep from wasting the last three months of our time. He talks about being in WWE 15 years and needing to validate his time here. Last week he destroyed Orton worse than Orton has ever been destroyed and now he’s more dangerous than he’s ever been.

He gets cut off by Zack Ryder who is still assistant to the GM here. Ryder comes bearing news: tonight there’s a no contact rule for Henry and Orton. They both have matches tonight though. Ryder tries to leave but Henry says come back here. He thanks Ryder for the head’s up and Ryder tries to leave again. Henry says he has a question and Ryder is terrified.

Henry wants Ryder’s prediction for the PPV. He picks Beth over Kelly Kelly. As for Henry’s match though, if he picks Orton then Henry will “snort me up one nostril and out the other.” Ryder tries to leave again and Henry says he’s going to hurt someone tonight. Ryder tries to fight him and that gets him a World’s Strongest Slam. Cole: “I think that puts Henry out of the running for Broksi of the Week.” Booker: “You know it.”

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Mark Henry

Henry wants a test of strength and Jackson is all cool with that. Jackson goes down and starts the traditional face comeback in a test of strength but Henry backdrops him out of it. There’s a top wristlock in another strength contest. Jackson fires off some punches and tries the Rack but since he lifted the bigger Khali a few weeks ago he can’t lift Henry here. Don’t you just love physics in wrestling? Henry gets him down with a clothesline and hits two splashes before the Slam ends this at 2:58. Just a squash.

Orton’s match tonight is with Rhodes. I’m stunned too: Rhodes still exists.

Teddy is in his office and here’s Aksana in more leather. She wants to be guest ring announcer again and Teddy says that would take the special out of special guest ring announcer. She says she can do something else with her mouth: sing. Teddy leaves to go check on Zack Ryder.

Sin Cara vs. Tyson Kidd

The topic of conversation of course is Cara’s heelish…..er I mean rudo actions last week. Cara sends Kidd to the floor and hits a huge dive to take out Tyson. Cole starts making fun of Josh so Booker gets us back to sanity. Josh says he would interview Sin Cara but he doesn’t speak Spanish. Cole gives him a Spanish lesson as the match is totally ignored. Cara and Kidd have their usual fast paced back and forth match. A spinning springboard cross body gets two for Kidd who rolls through Cara’s cover. Cara hits a cross between a Samoan Drop and an Angle Slam to set up the Swanton/Lionsault combo for the pin at 3:31.

Rating: C+. The usual good match from these two with some nice dives and counters, but as he always does anymore, Cole took the focus completely off the match and made it all about himself. We have some high flying stuff going on out there but hey, let’s have Cole teach us (incorrectly) how to fake a conversation in Spanish and make fun of Booker’s way of commentating. I used to think he was no big deal and that people were overreacting to him but dude, shut up for five minutes already.

As per Cole’s more or less demandments, Josh goes to interview Cara. Cole cracks up as Josh talks really slowly. Cara speaks English and says….well now he’s in Spanish again. Oh ok he’s doing the wrestling thing of saying something in Spanish and then repeating it in English. He says he’s going to continue this style because it’s the real Sin Cara.

Cue Daniel Bryan who isn’t happy. He’s surprised Cara can speak English and was also surprised that Cara kicked him in the head last week. The kick spoke in a universal language: he doesn’t respect Bryan. Bryan wants a rematch next week and Cara drills him, putting him in the LeBell Lock and Bryan taps.

Video on Cody. He’s disfigured don’t you know.

Orton says Cody’s changes haven’t been for the better. He’s unstable and that can be dangerous. As for Mark Henry, what he did last week was smart and calculated, which aren’t usually associated with Henry. Orton says an RKO can stop Henry.

Kelly Kelly vs. Natalya

Why doesn’t Natalya get a title shot on PPV? Beth is coming up on her second. Beth is with Nattie and Kelly is alone. Kelly hammers away to start and we’re told about some article on WWE.com which set everyone off. That would make a difference if the article had come out before the heel turn started but whatever. Natalya beats her down on the floor and is in total control.

We go old school with an abdominal stretch. Cole of course won’t shut up about everything not related to the match. Kelly fights back with a slap and a sunset flip which is rolled through into a Sharpshooter attempt but Kelly rolls her up for the pin at 2:58. Another short match but Kelly escaping with the win is getting a bit old. Hopefully Beth takes it Sunday or Eve finally turns on her.

Here’s Christian for a match but he says his match has been postponed. The rest of the matches have been postponed too. Due to Teddy Long making him be in the main event last week, he wasn’t ready for his cage match. Christian wants, say it with me, one more match for the title.

Sheamus comes out and says this is getting embarrassing. Christian reminds Sheamus as a litter of puppies. All but the runt grew up to be big and strong but the runt developed mange. Every time he barked, hot air came out of him. Christian yells at him and says shut up. The pale one says he wants to get to his match and Christian isn’t going to get another chance because he’s out of excuses and out of chances. Right now though, he’s going to get out of this ring. Christian actually leaves. And I’m sure he won’t come back at all right?

Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus

The crowd is behind Sheamus so at least they’re well behaved. It’s a power match to start with Sheamus controlling but not by much. Barrett gets a kick in to block a backdrop and then runs to the floor. Back in Barrett beats him down a bit and Sheamus is like BY THE POWER OF IRELAND and pounds him down in the corner. Sheamus gets reversed into the corner though and Barrett takes over for the first extended period of the match so far.

Barrett puts on a chinlock as we take a break. Back with Wade getting two off something we didn’t see. Out to the floor again and Barrett gets a big boot in and rams Sheamus’ back into the apron a few times, getting two in the ring. Barrett gets a single right hand to put Sheamus on the floor. Back in Sheamus fires off and it’s a slugfest won by the pale one. There are those tied in the rope forearm smashes, now getting counted along with by the crowd. A top rope shoulder block hits but here’s Christian for the DQ at 6:53 shown of 10:23.

Rating: C+. These two are good for a power brawl and that’s what they had here. I’m not sure what else they were supposed to try to do so they didn’t try anything complicated. There’s always something fun about two big and strong guys out there hitting each other until one can’t get up and that’s what they were getting close to by the end. Fun little match. Also Sheamus vs. Christian could be a pretty entertaining feud.

Sheamus starts beating Christian back but gets double teamed by the Canadian and the Brit. That’s not a problem either as he gets Christian to run and takes Barrett out with a double sledge and the Brogue Kick. Christian comes back in and almost gets caught in the Celtic (formerly High) Cross but he gets out and runs.

Air Boom vs. Great Khali/Jinder Mahal

Kofi’s pyro works tonight as opposed to Monday. Bourne vs. Mahal gets us going with Mahal getting a clothesline for two. Off to tall dude who has to lean down to hit Bourne in the back. Khali smothers Bourne’s face against the top rope and it’s back to Mahal. This referee is really loud.

Bourne escapes a suplex by kneeing Mahal in the head which was impressive. Hot tag to Kofi and he cleans house. Boom Drop hits and he loads up the Trouble in Paradise. Instead he hits a spinning cross body off the top and Khali saves. Mahal yells at Khali and slaps him, making Khali shove him into Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 3:10.

Rating: D+. Just a quick tag match and I’m kind of disappointed that they’ve split up the Indian dudes this quickly. They could have been something interesting especially with an actual backstory to them. Mahal was a hot guy when he came in and has come crashing down since then and I don’t get why. I guess this sets up Khali vs. Mahal and I’m not sure why that’s happening.

We run down the card for NOC.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

Non-title here of course. We get a clip of Ted getting beaten down by Cody after his loss. Cody talks about how everyone is jealous of his abilities and his success. He’s tried to inspire people but Ted DiBiase was happy being Ted DiBiase so he dropped him. Rhodes points out that Orton has no room to talk about being unstable.

Feeling out process to start and neither guy has a real advantage. Orton gets two on a dropkick. Here are the stomps which Cole calls psychological. Almost all Orton so far but they have a lot of time. Thesz Press keeps Rhodes down. Cody gets in a shot with the mask and Randy goes down. Cole goes into a big rant about Josh being a follower or some jazz like that as Orton makes a comeback.

Orton headbutts the mask and takes over with an adrenaline rush off the pain. Booker: “Cole has anyone ever told you that you’re just annoying?” Orton injures his knee a bit and Cody hones in like a wrestler that sees an opponent with an injured knee. Rhodes puts him on the apron and hits his kick as we take a break. Back with Cody still in control in the corner.

Cody works over the arm because he’s a bit strange at times. You know, I mean it’s not like ORTON HURT HIS KNEE EARLIER. Time for Cole to work his annoyances again as Booker mentions he has wrestling students. Cody works on the arm even more which I guess is the focal point now. Orton has had bad arms/shoulders so it works I guess. Rhodes throws on an armbar and the fans chant for Randy.

Alabama Slam cuts the comeback short but it only gets two. Orton gets a shot in and both guys are down. Booker gets WAY too excited when Randy starts his comeback. There are the clotheslines and the powerslam but Rhodes gets a release gordbuster to break up the momentum again. Orton fires back with a kneedrop as this is starting to get good. Elevated DDT and Orton goes into seizure mode. Rhodes shows some intelligence and RUNS while Orton is all fired up. Cross Rhodes are avoided and the RKO ends this clean at 6:57 shown of 10:27.

Rating: B-. This could be really good in an instance where Cody has a chance, but here he was just cannon fodder for Orton. The problem here is that Cody has lost a bunch of steam in the past few weeks since he won the title because just like everyone else who gets some momentum he’s immediately stopped cold so that a guy the writers haven’t picked doesn’t become something huge. This is probably the biggest problem in WWE at the moment: no one is allowed to get significant momentum and it cripples so many pushes.

Here’s Henry post match and Orton is a bit scared. Orton gets in some shots but Henry takes him down with ease. He hits the Slam and puts an unfolded chair over Orton’s throat and says he could break him, ending the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Pretty good show this week as we move closer to Night of Champions. Orton vs. Henry gets a bit more build but it’s kind of the same stuff we’ve seen so far. I guess the no touching policy was either forgotten or was only in effect until after their matches were over. Other than that there isn’t much going on here but Christian vs. Sheamus should be good….when we actually get there. Good show overall but a bit boring.

Results

Mark Henry b. Ezekiel Jackson – World’s Strongest Slam

Sin Cara b. Tyson Kidd – Lionsault

Kelly Kelly b. Natalya – Small Package

Sheamus b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Christian interfered

Air Boom b. Great Khali/Jinder Mahal – Trouble in Paradise to Mahal

Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes – RKO




Smackdown – August 30, 2011 – Smackdown Live Works For Me

Smackdown
Date: August 30, 2011
Location: Intrust Bank Arena, Wichita, Kansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It’s the live show tonight and the main event is Christian vs. Orton 4985 for the title in a cage match. It’s a double branded show and hopefully we’ll get the announcement that Raw guys will also appear on Smackdown. Anyway this should be fun as the live shows are usually better. Let’s get to it.

Punk and HHH will sign their contract tonight.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the Detroit Tigers who won’t let my Indians get back in contention.

Here’s Cena to open the show. He’s not sure what day it is. I kind of like him talking on the way to the ring. Don’t adjust your sets because this is Smackdown, it is Tuesday and we are live. He lists off a bunch of shows that are here, ranging from Raw to Smackdown to Nitro to Smokey Mountain Wrestling to the XFL superstars. Scratch that XFL idea because that was worse than the Shockmaster.

He calls out Alberto and the music plays but it’s Rodriguez instead. He says that Cena has to wait a bit longer to be in the ring with Del Rio and actually speaks English for a bit. And scratch that as it’s time for the full entrance. Not that Del Rio is here due to visa issues but whatever. Ricardo keeps saying Del Rio’s name over and over until Cena shouts at him. Cena has a gift for Alberto though. It’s a right hand and down goes Ricardo.

Here’s Barrett or as Cena says “Mr. Winds of Change” himself. Barrett yells at Cena for beating up the fat ring announcer which gets us a Tony Chimmel reference. They argue back and forth a bit and the bell is after the break.

Wade Barrett vs. John Cena

Cena pounds him down into the corner and Barrett is reeling early. Headlock takeover puts Barrett down again but the British dude gets a shot in to take over. Cena doesn’t like being in trouble though so he hits a sitout powerslam to put Barrett down again. Boss Man Slam gets two for Wade. They’re going through this kind of fast and it’s making it a weaker match. Case in point we’re less than three minutes in and Cena is on his finishing sequence including the Protobomb and Shuffle. The AA hits and Cena wins 100% clean at 3:17.

Rating: D+. Uh….what was that? I mean I knew Cena was going to dominate but Barrett got in a total of one move of note which was the Boss Man Slam. I really don’t get this one at all and while it’s not like Barrett is buried now (since anyone that ever loses to a bigger star is instantly buried if you read things on the internet) this was a bit harsh on him.

Henry doesn’t care who wins tonight. He says Striker asked a dumb question when he asked what a cage match was like.

Sin Cara vs. Daniel Bryan

This should be good. Cara hits some arm drags to take over and grabs an armbar. Bryan gets a kick to the chest in and the suicide dive/shove to take over. He’s looking a bit mad tonight for some reason. Here come the kicks from Daniel Bryan: Male Rockette. Off to a surfboard but he’s no Rob Van Dam so it doesn’t work. Instead he drops Cara down into a dragon sleeper which was pretty cool. Bryan is backdropped to the floor and Cara manages to avoid missing a dive but the second, a springboard spinning cross body to the floor, takes Bryan out.

Back in the swanton gets two but he didn’t try the Lionsault. Bryan gets his moonsault out of the corner and they collide on cross body attempts to put both of them down. They exchange kicks but Cara manages to put him down and hit the swanton/Lionsault combo and gets the pin at 5:03.

Rating: C+. Ok so maybe there is something to the depushed theory. Bryan losing here is rather odd but maybe it leads to a heel turn eventually. I can understand the losses to people like Christian and Del Rio because they’re bigger stars than Bryan. This either says very little about Bryan or says A LOT about Cara. I’m not sure which but I didn’t see that one coming.

They shake hands post match but CARA KICKS HIM IN THE FACE!!! Did Sin Cara just turn heel??? I was referring to a Bryan turn!

Air Boom says they’re awesome and teach Striker the Boom Boom Boom.

Sheamus doesn’t like bullies and you shouldn’t either.

We recap the Orton vs. Christian feud since MITB, which is really all you need to know about the feud.

Christian says this is his night.

Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox

Aksana is guest ring announcer which is supposed to be connected to her hitting on Teddy. So Alicia is a face now? Nattie vs. Kelly to start. Kelly looks like the victim of a bubblegum accident. Cold tag to Alicia and after some offense from her, the Glam Slam takes care of this at 2:00.

It’s time for the contract signing and Teddy brings out HHH. He talks about the match a bit and says he’s glad that he gets to take the suit off for one night. The fans seem totally behind Punk. Punk puts his feet on the table and wants to know why we’re here. He thinks HHH has put a stipulation into the contract but HHH says there’s nothing suspicious going on. Punk says there’s nothing HHH can do to surprise him.

Punk interrupts HHH when he talks about respect and for once, someone tells Punk to shut up. HHH says he’s bent over backwards to work with Punk but Punk kept pushing. He wants to know who Punk thinks got Living Color to let the company use Cult of Personality as his theme. Who does Punk think got him that Best in the World shirt? Punk has gotten everything he’s asked for but Punk hasn’t cooperated. Now HHH wants Punk to deal with him like a man.

Punk says he doesn’t want to fight the COO but rather the Cerebral Assassin. Maybe HHH isn’t the right man for the job because just like Vince, he can’t separate the business from the personal stuff. Punk insists he loves the WWE because if he hated it he wouldn’t be sitting here right now. He wants a change and says that he and the fans are dying for a change. Punk says he wants to be a catalyst for that change.

HHH says give me a break because half of the fans agree with him and half of them flat out do not care. Some of the fans like the WWE, which draws a big pop. He’s right too. Punk only wants change if it means Punk is on top. He’s no different than anyone, including HHH. They’d both do whatever it took to get on top but HHH said he’d do whatever it took to get to the top. Punk has no balls though and is trying to sneak his way to the top by pretending to be a martyr.

Punk says if he’s seen as a martyr then maybe he’s doing the right thing. HHH talked about half of the people liking it but Punk wants EVERYONE to like it. Before Punk was a wrestler he was a fan and at his core he’s still that. He’ll do whatever he can do to make this place fun again. The reason he says these things about his wife is because it tests HHH. HHH is just like Vince and is just as egotistical and corrupt as everyone and the hiring of HHH’s old buddies is proof of that.

Punk signs and says that if he has to be the catalyst of change and has to go through HHH to do it, so be it. At Night of Champions, don’t fine him or suspend him after he beats the boss. HHH says the difference between Punk and himself is respect. He respects Vince and says that they wouldn’t be there if not for Vince McMahon. That’s a hard one to argue for Punk I think.

He’s about to say why he’s not like Vince but gets cut off by Punk. Punk calls him short sighted and HHH is living in the past that Vince is trapped in. Punk wants change and HHH says he’ll get it. This is where he’s not like Vince (he signs here) because at NOC he would have gotten in the ring with Punk and taken a beating because it would have been good for business. This isn’t about business and it’s personal.

Here’s Nash and Punk FREAKS. HHH tries to hold him back but the big man gets in there. They slug it out and HHH tries to break it up, allowing Nash to get in a big boot. HHH gets in his face and Nash shoves him down, stunning HHH.

Sheamus vs. Great Khali

Sheamus still has bad ribs. Khali dominates to start and locks in a nerve hold after hammering away on the chest and ribs. Sheamus fights back and hits his forearms while Khali is in the ropes but as he sets for the Brogue Kick, Mahal comes in for the DQ at 2:50. This was nothing.

Post match the Indian dudes try a beatdown but Khali misses the chop and hits the post. A Brogue Kick takes him down and Sheamus beats up Legs Mahal for fun.

Inside Out trailer wastes some time.

There’s a poll for the world title match tonight: Orton wins 85 to 15. DANG.

The cage is lowered and it’s just after 9:30. This is going to get some time.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

In a cage and Orton is champion in case you’re reading this in like 10 years. You can win by pin/submission/escape. I didn’t know the back of the belt was red. They have about 18 minutes left so for a TV main event that’s more than enough. Christian tries two early escapes but Orton saves both times. He tries something off the middle rope but jumps into a dropkick from Randy for two. With that we take an abrupt break less than two minutes into the match.

Back with Christian in control and hammering away in the corner. Orton takes him down with a clothesline and the fans seem to like Orton better. Why do I sound surprised by that? Anyway Christian gets slammed off the top off another escape attempt. A pair of knee drops gets two for Orton. Orton’s escape attempt fails as does the elevated DDT. The Canadian goes up but Orton makes a save again.

They’re really playing up the idea of it could end at a moment’s notice as Orton gets a rollup and Christian gets a spinebuster, both for two. Cole says Christian has been around for 17 years. I don’t know what school he went to but they weren’t noted for their math. Christian gets to the top of the cage but Randy makes another save. They fight on the top rope and Orton snaps off a superplex to put both guys down at break #2.

Back with Christian almost making it and having his hands on the floor but Orton saves again. Orton starts his insane stuff but the elevated DDT is countered again. A shot to the cage is reversed into the falling DDT for two for the Canadian. Christian goes for the escape and even shoves Orton down but he’s feeling froggy and it only gets two.

Orton makes about his 10th save and avoids a spear. RKO misses and the second spear attempt hits for a close two. The drama in this has been very good. Christian loads up the Punt but Orton avoids it and in a NICE bit of psychology Christian teases his turning dive out of the corner and Orton jumps for an RKO but Christian fakes him out and climbs. Orton stops him again and gets that sweet over the shoulder powerbomb position into a neckbreaker for two. The fans are into this.

Christian tries the Killswitch but Orton escapes and tries the elevated DDT and gets it for once but the RKO is countered. Christian makes a lunge for the climb but Orton makes ANOTHER save. We’re past 10pm now and they’re fighting on the top rope. Christian tries the Killswitch from the top but Orton counters into a SUPER RKO and Christian is dead at 13:35.

Rating: A. I loved this. They played back to stuff from previous matches like the head fake and the idea of it ending at any time was excellent. This match worked incredibly well and the whole thing was great. These two have had the feud of the year in any other year because Cena vs. Punk happened this year. Great stuff again and I’m thinking it happens again at the Cell, but I’m not sure how they get there.

Post match Henry comes out for the beating and Orton is destroyed.  Randy escapes for a bit but Henry takes him down with a clothesline and a splash stops Orton cold.  He gets sent into the cage and takes a World’s Strongest Slam to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Well the Raw guys didn’t play a huge role here and that’s definitely a good thing. Other than the quick Cena match and the HHH/Punk/Nash thing (which I liked) there wasn’t much of a Raw presence here. The show was entertaining enough and a good main event makes this pretty easily a solid show. Sheamus vs. the Indian dudes is something to do I guess and we have the NOC main event set up now. It wasn’t the huge show they were hoping for but I’d call this a good show, which is the norm on Smackdown for the most part anymore.

 

Results

John Cena b. Wade Barrett – Attitude Adjustment

Sin Cara b. Daniel Bryan – Lionsault

Natalya/Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox – Glam Slam to Fox

Sheamus b. Great Khali via DQ when Jinder Mahal interfered

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO off the top rope




Brand Split Ending?

At least a little bit it seems as according to HHH on Raw tonight SD guys will be appearing on Raw now.

 

Thoughts on this?




Smackdown – August 26, 2011 – Kind Of A Tuesday Preview Show

Smackdown
Date: August 26, 2011
Location: Scotiabank Saddledome, Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

We’re still in Canada and we’re into the Henry as #1 contender era. The main event tonight is him vs. Sheamus in a Summerslam rematch that hopefully is as good as last time. I’m really hoping they don’t end Sheamus’ momentum already but maybe they won’t. Since we’re in Canada there’s also a little surprise in store. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Henry being dominant last week in the battle royal and getting the shot at Orton.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is 4000 miles separating you from someone you want to be with more than anything.

Remember that surprise I mentioned? Bret Hart is here to open the show. Bret says he’s not here tonight so HHH has named him Guest GM for the night. See, THIS is what legends should be doing. Flair would be perfect for something like this. Have a show in Charlotte? Have Flair pop in and be a guest host or a guest referee or something. Bret mentions that Tuesday will be a special live Super Smackdown which is a double branded show.

Bret says he’s looking forward to the main event which will be Henry vs. Orton for the title. That brings out Christian who says he blames his loss at Summerslam on Bret’s friend Edge. Due to Edge doing what he did, Christian couldn’t concentrate and he lost the title. Bret says Christian is getting really whiny, becoming an embarrassment to himself, the world title, the WWE Universe and to Canada. OH NO HE DIDN’T! Christian needs to start at the bottom and work his way back up.

Christian says that guys like Bret and Edge are the real embarrassments because they can’t let it go. He thinks maybe they’re jealous because he’s the only relevant Canadian. Christian pulls out a document saying he gets a title rematch next week on Smackdown. Bret says he does, but it needs to be a special kind of match. The more famous Canadian makes it a steel cage match and Christian isn’t happy.

That brings out Mark Henry and Christian heads to the floor. Henry says he’s tired of this disrespect after 15 years in the company and he earned his title match last week. If he doesn’t get it, someone is going to be hurt. He wants the winner of the cage match and as much as he respects Bret, he can’t be held responsible for what happens if he doesn’t get the shot. Since three people taking 15 minutes to talk hasn’t been enough, here’s Sheamus!

The great white (which is what Cole called him earlier so don’t jump on me) talks about his uncle’s farm and a big black bull there. The bull kept destroying everything in sight so one day his uncle castrated said bull. Sheamus charges and the fight is on! Henry gets knocked to the floor and the staredown finally takes us to a break.

Christian vs. Daniel Bryan

This was set up during the break. As Bryan is coming to the ring we get a quick video package on him. Cole thinks Bryan is planning something and won’t cash in at Mania but rather like everyone else has. It’s a basic match to start as Bryan tries his strikes and Christian tries his usual stuff.

There’s the big dive (the announcers don’t react to it until the replay because they’re talking about how the champion always gets a rematch after losing. Not exactly but who cares about history in this company?) and Bryan hooks a surfboard. Christian escapes the hold though and takes over as we take a break. Back with a chinlock on and the fans are behind Christian as is expected.

Bryan gets a shot in and the missile dropkick out of nowhere for two. So far the count of Booker calling him “D. Bryan, one of my Fave Five” is at three. The pendulum kick is blocked in the corner and Bryan rips off some kicks and a knee to the chest for two. Christian does his stand on the guy’s back while they’re in the 619 position and the uppercut for two.

Spear is countered by a kick but Bryan slips on his moonsault and Christian tries the sunset flip out of the corner. Bryan rolls through and hits the spin kick (with Christian looking stupid for sitting there for two). Top rope rana is countered and Christian (called the Professor by Booker) hooks a tornado DDT for two. Killswitch is countered into a LeBell Lock attempt but the Canadian makes the rope. Out of almost nowhere the Killswitch ends this at 8:08 shown of 11:38.

Rating: B. Another good and long TV match from Smackdown as is their custom. I’ve heard some people saying Bryan is being buried or depushed, but since he’s won the case the worst loss he’s had is to Wade Barret who is hardly a nobody. He’s got (arguably) a better resume than Bryan in WWE at this point and it was a good match. Bryan has had consistently good matches against top level competition and I can’t get why people would think he’s been depushed.

Aksana says watch Super Smackdown.

Wade Barrett vs. ???

It’s a jobber but his name is never given. Barrett grabs the mic and says he’s done a lot and this is an insult because this is beneath him as a man and asking him to face a man such as this is an insult. Barrett walks off and there’s no match.

Raw ReBound eats up some time. It’s about Cena vs. Punk.

Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater

I’m not sure which Cara this is but he’s got some solid abs. It’s now the one man Southern rock band and his music sounds like that a bit as well. Del Rio vs. Sin Cara on Tuesday. Slater goes right after Cara to open things up and the fans aren’t thrilled. We hear about Slater’s background in listening to southern rock. I know the writers are lacking for characters a bit but a guy that listens to music is the best they’ve got? Anyway as the announcers argue a bit Cara hits the big cross body to the floor and the slingshot swanton and the Lionsault end this at 1:42. What the heck was that?

On a side note, from what I understand this match was taped twice because the first time was so horrible it had to be redone because it couldn’t air.

We get a recap of Orton being confronted by Legacy and the RKO to DiBiase before he could get much out at all.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase

Rhodes talks about being a miracle worker and that he’s resurrecting the title, which I hope is true. Basic stuff on the mat to start until Randy takes over. Shoulder block gets two for DiBiase. It’s more or less a standoff and I think they’ll have a decent amount of time to work with here. Orton gets going and stomps away to continue the slow pace of this match. DiBiase gets the following clothesline for two and a pop from the crowd. That Bizarro Land tag is pretty true.

Ted’s dropkick is countered into a slingshot and Orton unleashes his clotheslines. A move that I refuse to call a Thesz Press hits but Cody breaks up the elevated DDT. Randy tries an RKO on the floor on Cody but DiBiase hits a baseball slide to save and we take a break. Back with Orton getting taken down by a dropkick for two. Ted goes up but Orton fires off right hands and gets a superplex for two.

Orton initiates his finishing sequences and might be bleeding from his head a bit. Powerslam sets up the backbreaker but Ted counters the latter into a rollup for two. They’re trying to play up the idea that Ted knows Randy so well that he can counter everything. Dream Street is countered into a European Uppercut and there’s the elevated DDT. RKO attempt is countered into a Dream Street attempt which is reversed. Ted tries another following clothesline but walks into the RKO for the pin at 8:40 shown of 12:10.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible match but I wasn’t feeling it. These two didn’t click and after three months of Christian vs. Orton, it’s kind of hard to get into these two having such an uninteresting match. It wasn’t bad I guess but Orton needs the right guy to bring him out of his boring area and DiBiase isn’t that guy.

Post match Cody takes out Ted with Cross Rhodes. Ted gets a bagging.

Kelly Kelly vs. Tamina

A quick inset promo by Natalya says Kelly is a real Barbie doll but she doesn’t play with dolls. Do these more often WWE. They’re a great way to give the characters TV time and let them say a little something. Booker has dubbed Tamina the Warrior Princess. Kelly does her usual stuff and spanks Tamina a bit. Tamina knocks Kelly down on a headscissors attempt and we talk about Tamina’s basketball career. Cole: “Tamina once had 69 rebounds in a game.” Booker: “That’s like Wilt Chamberlain scoring 100 points but from a female perspective.” Yeah I’ve got nothing. Stink Face and a bad K2 end this at 2:45.

Jinder Mahal blames Khali for losing the battle royal last week and says Khali has been reeducated to only serve Mahal. Tonight, the target is Ezekiel Jackson.

Great Khali vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Khali shoves him around to start so Jackson charges straight at him. That makes sense for him as it’s worked against everyone else and why shouldn’t he use it again here? We get the backstory again about Khali and Mahal. Off to the nerve hold which doesn’t last long. Jackson starts firing off his clotheslines in the corner but Khali gets the big boot up. Here’s the vice grip but since Khali is a heel his submission hold is useless and Jackson breaks it as well as makes a rope. Mahal tries to cheat and gets dropped, allowing Jackson to get the torture rack for the tap out at 2:55. Ok that was impressive.

Orton says he isn’t worried about Christian and then it’s on to Henry.

Video on Henry being all dominant and evil, which I think we’ve now seen some form of about 193 times if my math is correct. The difference here: it’s a lot longer.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

This is a rematch from Summerslam which they’ve played up about as much as humanly possible tonight. Booker says he’d be upset if he had been here 15 years like Henry had and got disrespected. It really has been 15 years. It seems like at least 16 or so. This is what you would expect from these two: a power brawl. Sheamus takes over to start and then Henry uses his power to take him back down.

Henry steps on his chest but Sheamus fires off some right hands. That goes nowhere as Henry headbutts him back down. What would a power match be without the heel throwing on a bear hug? They keep up the idea of Sheamus trying to get some shots in but Henry is too strong. Henry sets for a gorilla press but Sheamus counters into a pretty nice DDT.

He fires off the axe handles and then the forearms while Henry is in the ropes. A flying shoulder block gets two off the top. Henry rolls to the floor and the fun starts. Henry pulls him to the floor and then sends him literally flying into the barricade. Henry loads up the announce table but Sheamus counters the Slam and gets a big old Brogue Kick to send Henry over the table. Sheamus slides in to beat the count at 7:33.

Rating: C. This was really all they could do here and it’s the right move. They’re even now and Sheamus has a reason to want another crack at Henry because neither has the definitive win yet. This was exactly what you would expect in the form of a brawl and that’s what it should have been. There’s no need to have these guys try to be something they’re not and this match was watchable because of it.

Henry goes nuts after the match and manages to ram Sheamus into the apron. Sheamus fights back and rams Henry into the post but he tries to throw the steps at Henry at the post and misses. A World’s Strongest Slam onto the steps ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. Well with two long matches and the usual nothing bad from Smackdown you can’t call it a bad show. This was more of a placeholder show as the Super Smackdown was the focus, as it should be. Bret was a nice surprise but I would have liked to see him more than in just the opening segment. The Tuesday show was set up well and that’s the important thing right here. Good show but it was missing something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.




Smackdown – August 19, 2011 – Smackdown Still Has It

Smackdown
Date: August 19, 2011
Location: Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It’s the post Summerslam show and we get to see what is going on after Orton has won the title. There’s more or less no reason to have Chrstian get another shot now after feuding with Randy all summer. The match on Sunday came off like a blowoff match and while I could see one more match in the Cell, they need a break between now and then. We’ll also get a lot more stuff I’m sure. Let’s get to it.

Teddy opens the show and here’s Randy. He says the people are used to hearing Christian whine about wanting another rematch. He’s no Christian (SCANDAL!) but he is the World Heavyweight Champion and his name is Randy Orton. He used to respect Christian but now he despises him and it’s over. Teddy says tonight there will be a 20 man battle royal for the #1 contender spot.

Cody Rhodes and Ted come out and the belt looks awesome on him. He says Legacy has reunited and now Cody is a champion too. However, he won his without barbarism. The people here are hideous and he doesn’t care about them. He’ll be in the battle royal tonight and soon he’ll take the title. Cody says Ted has a voice and hands him the microphone.

Ted says they know Orton better than anyone. They know his weaknesses….and I guess Orton got bored because there’s an RKO for Ted. He and Cody stare each other down and Cody bails. Cody yells at Ted and demands he does something about this. Teddy says he’ll make Orton stand in the corner on one leg for ten minuets. Also he’s going to have to write “I will not RKO Ted DiBiase 100 times.” Since Ted can’t compete tonight Cody has to take his place and the title will be on the line.

Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Smackdown will be live on Tuesday August 30. The bell is after a break. We get a clip of last week’s title change and the beating of Ted. It’s amazing how much better Jackson looks by just snarling. Jackson takes over with pure power to start as is his custom. Enziguri misses for Rhodes and an elbow gets two. A backdrop gets one and Jackson keeps up his domination. I guess he’s been listening to his own theme music.

Cody finally gets something going and hits a bulldog. That doesn’t last long as we’re back to the floor and Jackson sends him into the steps. The champ dropkicks the steps into the leg/knee and back inside we go. Jackson tries a quick rack but Cody gets another knee shot. The Beautiful Disaster (looked AWESOME as the foot smacked against Jackson’s face) hits and Cross Rhodes ends this at 3:38 totally clean.

Rating: C+. This is exactly what Rhodes needed. He hit the two big moves and planted Jackson for his second clean pin over him in a row. That should end the run for Jackson and he has no justification to challenge for the title anymore. This was decent stuff and I’m still loving that kick to the face.

Ryder comes up to Teddy in the back and says Alberto is on his way. Teddy isn’t happy with this because it was supposed to be Cena or Punk. Ryder says life is full of surprises like tonight when he wins the battle royal. Aksana comes in and more innuendo is made. She offers to watch the battle royal with him and Teddy gets all tongue tied and leaves.

Justin Gabriel is still in South Africa. I think we’ve seen this one before.

Justin Gabriel vs. Tyson Kidd

Well they had a great match on NXT a few weeks ago so I have high hopes here. We get some nice speed stuff to start and Tyson takes over with some shots to the face. Nice dropkick to the back of the head as the announcers are talking about fishing with sharks. A hard elbow gets two. Justin fires off with some kicks which get two. Kidd rolls through a springboard cross body and tries a leg lock but Justin escapes and hits an STO. Justin goes for the 450 and after knocking Kidd off the top the splash ends it at 4:23.

Rating: C+. They’re keeping the matches short tonight but I’m digging them. Justin and Kidd are both getting some solid TV time and the matches are getting better. The little clips from South Africa are nice touches as they’re giving us a reason to care about him which we didn’t have before. Good little TV match here and the 450 is great as always.

Mahal and Khali say they’ll win the battle royal tonight.

Ricardo brings out Alberto. There’s a nameplate on the title now. He says the exact same stuff he’s said for months now. It’s his destiny and he hurt Rey and all that jazz. It’s been a year since he’s gotten here and a lot of things have changed in that time span. We get a clip from Monday where he beat up Rey. Some kid has a sign saying Alberto isn’t champ. Uh, yeah he is. Alberto gives something like an open challenge.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Daniel Bryan

Non-title of course. Bryan wants to know why Del Rio cashed in like everyone else if he’s so special. The bell rings after a break as is usual. Feeling out process to start and Del Rio avoids a big swinging kick. He catches Bryan coming back in and stomps away. The golden banana hammocks are back. Off to an arm hold and a Daniel Bryan chant starts up. Bryan gets all ticked off and fires off some kicks for two.

The announcers talk about the HHH/Nash situation which is fine as it actually relates to the guys in the ring. Codebreaker to the arm off the middle rope takes Bryan down again and it’s back to an armbar. Sunset flip is blocked and Del Rio drops another elbow onto the arm for two. Time for a key lock which is at least a change of pace in the holds. Time for the Michael Cole Show as he rants about Bryan being a nerd and having a Youtube channel.

Now Cole is making fun of Bryan going to a drive-in movie. He goes on and on with it for like a minute and a half, making fun of Josh for going to see Cowboys and Aliens and for always being for the good guy. Bryan fights Del Rio off and rifles off some kicks in the corner. The look on Del Rio’s face is great as his face says “THAT REALLY HURT!”

Bryan fires off a clothesline and backdrops Del Rio over the top. Running knee off the apron hits Del Rio square in the face and looks great. Back inside the Mexican hits a German to the American for two. They go up top with their backs to the ring and Bryan reverses a belly to back superplex into a cross body as we go to a break.

Back with them slugging it out with some loud boo/yay going on. Running dropkick in the corner puts Alberto down. Ricardo is losing his enchiladas. Missile dropkick gets two. A big swinging kick misses and Bryan avoids a belly to back while still selling the arm. Bryan tilt-a-whirls into the guillotine choke but Del Rio manages to ram him into the corner and get a northern lights suplex into the cross armbreaker for the tap at 15:30 total. I’m watchin this one as it airs so that’s total time from bell to bell.

Rating: B. Solid match here as both guys looked good. Bryan doesn’t need to get a win here because he has a ton of time before he has to cash in. Del Rio needs wins like this and the one he got over Mysterio on Monday to give himself some credibility. This was good stuff and both guys looked good which is the whole idea.

Post match Del Rio goes for the arm even more until Sin Cara makes the save.

Henry says he should be #1 contender. He looks at the battle royal like a boat. Things are going to get rocky and 19 men are going overboard.

Kelly Kelly/AJ vs. Natalya/Alicia Fox

Nattie vs. AJ to start and the cute one (in plaid) is in trouble. Natalya is killing it here as we’re just waiting for the hot tag to Kelly to clean house. AJ finally fights her way to the tag and Kelly does her usual stuff. Alicia misses the axe kick and K2 ends this at 4:30. Just nothing to talk about here.

Rating: C. Eh this was fine all things considered. They’re really pushing Kelly strong as a “wrestler” but it’s not doing anything for me. The girls are almost entirely interchangeable other than Beth and Natalya to a degree. The matches aren’t as bad anymore though which is a nice break.

Post match Alicia yells at Natalya and Nattie puts her in a Sharpshooter on the floor to a big pop.

Same video of Axxess we’ve seem all week.

Orton comes out to watch the battle royal.

Battle Royal

Mark Henry, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Sin Cara, Sheamus, Daniel Bryan, Johnny Curtis, Ezekiel Jackson, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, Jinder Mahal, Great Khali, Zack Ryder, Yoshi Tatsu, William Regal, Tyson Kidd, Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, Trent Barretta

I think that’s everyone at least. Only Sin Cara (clearly a different guy), Sheamus, Barrett (complete with coat) and Henry get entrances. Everyone goes after Henry immediately and that just fails. Barretta is out in about 15 seconds as is Tatsu. Khali is defending Mahal in the corner. There goes Curtis. Expect a lot of “so and so is out” because there isn’t anything else to say for the most part in these matches.

Slater is down in the corner and his torso is out. Khali chops Regal and the pain is evident. There goes Ryder to a pop. Booker saying Woo Woo Woo is funny stuff. Jackson puts the IC Champ out which I really hope doesn’t mean the feud continues. Jackson goes for Khali and hammers him in the corner which gets a nice reaction. The clothesline in the corner results in him getting chopped in the head and tossed though so Jackson is out.

Now Henry and Khali have the staredown and a Sin Cara chant starts up. They strike it out and Henry goes down from a chop. Punjabi Plunge is broken and Henry puts Khali out with relative ease. Mahal is FREAKING. Sheamus goes after Henry and down goes Henry again, falling under the ropes to the floor. Sheamus fakes Slater out and a Brogue Kick puts Slater out. Henry beats up Slater because he can.

After a break Sheamus and Mahal are almost out but no luck. There seem to be about ten or eleven left. According to Cole there are ten left. Regal was eliminated during the break. Henry is still chilling on the floor. Cara puts Gabriel out with a cross body but holds on. Henry beats Gabriel up as well. Sheamus eliminates both Usos and they’re Henry’s next meal, including one being thrown through the announce table. Orton is just sitting at ringside during this.

Henry is back in now. Ok so we have Sheamus, Barrett, Mahal, Henry, DiBiase, Sin Cara and Kidd. Henry tosses DiBiase and Mahal with ease and Cara eliminates Kidd. We’re down to four: Barrett, Sheamus, Henry and Sin Cara. The fans like Cara. The Europeans go after Henry and stomp him down in the corner. Cara is spent and is trying to get back up. Barrett takes Sheamus down (but not out) with a clothesline. Sheamus to the apron and Barrett joins him. They slug it out on the apron and Sheamus gets a kick to get us down to three.

Cara tries a dropkick to Sheamus but goes through the ropes instead. He dives at Sheamus but lands on the apron. Back in now and Sheamus drapes him on the ropes but can’t eliminate him. He sets for the kick but Henry grabs Sheamus and we’re down to two. Cara is up top and like an idiot tries a cross body which works but he tries a cover because he’s not that smart I guess. Henry presses him through the ropes so we’re back to a one on one match now. Cara tries a spinning cross body and gets caught in the World’s Strongest Slam, letting Henry win at 16:42.

Rating: C. Battle royals are hard to grade but this was fine. Henry winning like this is a good choice because he’s the only one that is in position to challenge Orton. Nice to see Sin Cara getting some time in there as the fans are into him. Nothing great here but it’s a fine way to set up the next main event and that’s all they needed to do here.

Henry stares Orton down post match.

Overall Rating: A. I had a really good time with this show. Nothing is bad at all and the booking I almost totally agree with. Henry is really the only heel other than maybe Barrett that could be plugged into the main event right now so that makes perfect sense. Cody gets another clean win and we get a solid long match in the kind of win Del Rio needs at the moment. No complaints here at all.

Results

Cody Rhodes b. Ezekiel Jackson – Cross Rhodes

Justin Gabriel b. Tyson Kidd – 450 Splash

Alberto Del Rio b. Daniel Bryan – Cross Armbreaker

AJ/Kelly Kelly b. Alicia Fox/Natalya – K2 to Fox

Mark Henry won a battle royal last eliminating Sin Cara




Smackdown – August 5, 2011 – Orton, Christian, Ryder and KB

Smackdown
Date: August 5, 2011
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Booker T, Michael Cole

We have two more shows before Summerslam and this is the first of them. I’d expect a lot of build for Christian vs. Orton V and also some more from the midcard stuff that Smackdown has gotten good at. The big thing though is the freshly face Sheamus continuing Mark Henry. I’m giddy over that one. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Sheamus vs. Henry. The crowd popped huge in the arena for the line of “I’ll fight him.”

Sheamus vs. Great Khali

Here’s a test….kind of. I was confused at first because the tron video said Jinder Mahal, which would have surprised me. Josh immediately gets on my nerves by saying they’re on the campus of the University of Kentucky, which is flat out not true. The city owns Rupp Arena and it’s not on the campus. The only affiliation it has with UK is the basketball team plays there. Everyone makes that mistake that isn’t from here though so it’s understandable. For some reason it’s like they’re afraid to say Lexington.

Sheamus vs. Henry is announced for Summerslam. Khali takes him down quickly with the power game. Sheamus gets him tied up in the ropes so that Khali is facing the crowd and pounds away on the chest. He goes up top but gets chopped in the chest to send him back down to the floor. Time for a nerve hold since Khali isn’t that versatile in the ring, nor does he need to be.

Khali chops away in the corner and Sheamus fires off some double axes to the chest. Sheamus is all fires up but a chop to the head stops the Brogue Kick. It only gets two, despite being the finisher of a former world champion. Vice Grip goes on but Sheamus breaks that too. He elbows Khali in the ribs and the Brogue Kick hits for the pin at 5:22.

Rating: C. Yes it was kind of boring, but what are you expecting here? Khali is a giant and Sheamus is a power brawler. If they had done technical stuff or anything else, it wouldn’t make any sense and would probably be awful at the same time. Not sure what else to say here but this was fine.

The Rewind is Beth eliminating the Bellas and turning heel on Kelly. This was the Slam of the Week in the arena. No idea why they changed it.

AJ vs. Natalya

What an odd choice for a match. Commentary goes silent for some reason and until Josh says something about AJ being the Diva next door or something similar to that. AJ takes her down with a headlock and Natalya can’t figure her out. And never mind as a crucifix is countered into the Sharpshooter for the tap at 2:00. This was nothing.

Post match Nattie turns on AJ, beating her down and hitting a snap suplex on the floor. She says she’s with Beth: no more pretty princesses.

Ryder will be giving the State of the Showski later. The reaction to this is fake as the fans didn’t move for that graphic other than a few people.

Orton gets a big pop and we see a video from last week where Orton hit an RKO on Truth on the table and then a second to go with it. He’s not worried about Summerslam because he knows Christian can’t beat him clean.

Video on Justin Gabriel in South Africa. This is different from last week’s and it has more wrestling in it.

Tyson Kidd vs. Daniel Bryan

Barrett is on commentary. Bryan has new music which sounds like it’s out of a thriller movie trailer. Bryan’s pop was barely there when he came out. Some chain wrestling starts us off and Bryan does his moonsault out of the corner. Kidd is sent to the apron and then to the floor where Bryan hits a big dive through the ropes, shoving Kidd to the floor. Kidd gets a shot in on the knee and starts the attack on it.

Figure four around the post goes on and Bryan is in trouble. Barrett talks about how he doesn’t think Bryan is going to cash in. That makes sense as it would be surprising if he made it that far. We take a break and come back with Kidd working on the knee. I’m not sure if anything actually changed in that break so they might have just picked up immediately where they left off.

A quick leg lock goes on until Bryan starts his comeback. He goes up top but gets crotched instead. Cole and Barrett ramble about how much they hate Bryan. Good to see them talking about the match at all. Kidd hasn’t been talked about once. Bryan fights Kidd off the top and hits a missile dropkick but can’t follow up due to the knee.

He fires off some kicks but has to pause because of the pain, allowing Kidd to hit a (American) dragon screw leg whip and a half crab. Bryan escapes but can’t get the LeBell Lock. Pinfall reversal sequence doesn’t go anywhere but Bryan gets all fired up and hammers away with forearms. BIG kick to the head sets up the guillotine choke and we’re done at 7:00. I timed the match at 7:45 live so we didn’t miss much at all.

Rating: B-. Solid match here that would have been better with more time. The just under 8 minutes wasn’t enough time to get going but Kidd has been able to put on some good stuff over the last few months and I’ve been liking him pretty well. Good stuff here and it’s the kind of win Bryan needs: physical, come from behind, submission wins.

Barrett and Bryan stare each other down post match. There’s a match teased but not officially announced.

State of the Showski is up next.

Here’s Ryder who got a small reaction but it was there. Ryder takes credit for the ratings going up because he’s the assistant GM. He says he’s going to change a lot of stuff but Big Zeke cuts him off. He got zero reaction at all. Zeke says Ryder must think he’s here to beat up Ryder for being in the handicap match last week. Jackson isn’t happy but Ryder says he thought they had an agreement.

They’re cut off by Cody’s music and here’s one half of the biggest rib in wrestling history (think about it: the sons of Dusty Rhodes were a metrosexual and whatever Goldust was. How could that not be a massive rib?) along with Ted who is in wrestling gear. Cody says Jackson has sour grapes and is unbecoming of a champion. He says Jackson is making the championship look bad so Cody should just take it from him and resurrect it, just like he’s resurrected Ted’s career.

Jackson says he’s merely using DiBiase. Cody says Ted has free will and Ted should come out and beat Jackson right now. That’s up to Ted and Ryder though. Ryder says cool but here’s Teddy (who got a surprisingly good reaction) to protest. Ryder is NOT the assistant GM but rather Teddy’s assistant. Teddy makes Ryder vs. Jackson for right now. Gee it’s a good thing they’re both in wrestling gear.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Zack Ryder

Cody and Ted are banned from ringside. Cole hates Ryder so I’m really not sure if he’s face or heel here. Ryder takes over and gets some kicks to the head. Front facelock doesn’t work at all and Jackson catches a middle rope cross body to start up the slams. Rack and we’re done at 2:30 with the tapping coming on Jackson’s head.

Teddy is in his office and here’s Aksana, now with long black hair and a leather suit. There’s bad romantic sounding music in the background. She wants to talk business with him so he gives her one of his cards. She asks for his personal number which he gives to her. That was rather odd.

Mark Henry is up next.

At this point the show stopped taping and HHH came to the ring and talked about having stress. Ryder was still in the ring and HHH got in some one liners about various wrestlers. He asked the crowd if they could keep a secret and dropped Ryder with a Pedigree. Awesome moment and the pop of the night.

Mark Henry vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Vlad fires away but can’t really get anywhere. He manages the trapping headbutts but Henry remembers that he’s a monster heel and plants Kozlov with the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 1:15.

Post match he Pillmanizes Kozlov’s leg, which explains him leaving since Kozlov was released today. Sheamus comes out late for the save with a chair. Henry bails, not wanting to fight until Summerslam. Kozlov goes out on a stretcher.

After a break Sheamus says that Henry isn’t just beating people but rather is taking their ability and will to do what they love. That won’t happen to Sheamus though because no one can take away his passion to compete here. There are many reasons but the biggest is because he’s Irish, which means he has the Luck of the Irish. The following is a near direct quote of the next few things he says: “And that means I was born with a 24 karat horseshoe up me arse. And if need be I can rip that horseshoe out and leave hoofprints on him.” Oh and Henry is a whale that belongs in the ocean with Shamu.

Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga/JTG vs. Trent Barreta/Uso Brothers

The Usos do their rhythmic dance thing. Remember when they were all sophisticated or whatever it was? Jey vs. JTG to start us off. Off to McGillicutty and then Otunga rather quickly. And now let’s talk about what the announcers are tweeting at ringside. Apparently Booker said Cole is a tool. Jimmy is getting beaten down at the moment and there isn’t much else to say as far as the match goes. Hot tag to Trent who is someone I’d like to see more of. Everything breaks down and the champions hit that elbow drop/backbreaker combo to end Baretta at 3:43.

Rating: D+. Just a six man here and nothing interesting at all. I have no idea why Baretta and JTG of all people got picked. They’re not bad or anything but why them? Anyway this was fine but the Usos need to get their title shot already, hopefully winning the titles. I’ve liked them recently and some fresh champions would be nice.

Johnny Curtis sees the writing on the wall and will be in action next week.

Raw ReBound is about the Cena vs. Punk vs. HHH moments from Raw and how the match at Summerslam was made.

Christian says he isn’t surprised that the match with Orton is now no holds barred. Everyone has been on Orton’s side. Truth pops up to say it was a conspiracy. He says not to let the Little Jimmys fool him and that tonight Orton is gonna get got. Christian still doesn’t know who Little Jimmy is.

Randy Orton/John Morrison vs. R-Truth/Christian

When did Morrison lose his pyro? Oh ok that part wasn’t on the broadcast. Kind of surprised they didn’t have that for the live crowd though. Orton and Truth start us off and Truth hammers him down into the corner. Morrison comes in and Truth runs so he can tag in the Canadian. There’s that big spinning springboard kick for two.

Christian takes him down though and it’s off to the coward crazy R-Truth. Suplex into the Stunner is countered (called that move by Booker) and Morrison goes all angry JoMo on him, hitting the running knee for two. Christian breaks it up and Orton chases him to the floor and into the crowd where we take a break. Back with Morrison and Truth hammering away on each other. During the break Orton stared Christian down a lot while the other two laid down in the ring.

Truth works on the neck which is logical. Good thing that when he went nuts he didn’t lose his wrestling psychology. Christian comes in and gets a neckbreaker for two. Have one of those ever broken a neck? Middle rope headbutt misses but Christian is smart enough to take Orton out before John can make the tag. Truth comes in and does a little dance which makes it look like he wants to make a little love to Orton.

Morrison comes out of nowhere with the C4 to put both himself and Truth down. Hot tag brings in Orton and the fans are all fired up. Powerslam puts Christian down and Orton gets a jackknife cover for two. Killswitch is blocked into the backbreaker for two. Orton grabs a rollup out of the corner for two. Christian hits a spinebuster that Booker calls a sidewalk slam. Spear misses but Christian avoids the RKO.

Instead Orton gets him in punting position but Truth and Morrison come back in. Morrison sends him to the floor and dives out onto him. Christian jumps Orton but gets caught in the elevated DDT. Truth comes in and takes the RKO but Christian grabs the Killswitch and pins Orton 11:55 shown of what I thought was closer to 20 minutes but whatever.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot as the ending was rather intricate with all of the spots intertwining very well. The whole point of this was to make it clear that Christian could get the pin on Orton in what you could call a clean method and that’s what he did here. This worked well and was a solid main event that did a few things well. Good stuff.

Overall Rating: B. This was a moving day episode of Smackdown. Not a lot actually happened here but a lot of stuff for the future was set up. You can see most of Summerslam now which you could only see pieces of a week ago at this time. The stuff that we got was pretty good and the show is shaping up pretty well. Also Aksana being back with those abs of her is never a bad thing.

Results

Sheamus b. Great Khali – Brogue Kick

Natalya b. AJ – Sharpshooter

Daniel Bryan b. Tyson Kidd – Guillotine Choke

Ezekiel Jackson b. Zack Ryder – Torture Rack

Mark Henry b. Vladimir Kozlov – World’s Strongest Slam

David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty/JTG b. Uso Brothers/Trent Barreta – Elbow drop/backbreaker combination to Barreta

Christian/R-Truth b. Randy Orton/John Morrison – Killswitch to Orton




Smackdown – July 29, 2011 – Sheamus, You’re Just Neat

Smackdown
Date: July 29, 2011
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It’s a new era in the WWE as HHH is now in charge and tonight he’ll be here to talk to Smackdown. No clue what that’ll bring but it should be interesting at least. We should get something of an update on Christian vs. Orton which is probably going to be the SD main event for the I think fifth PPV in a row at Summerslam. Christian having the title now is a nice twist though. Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine are NXT and the heat wave that will not end.

Here’s HHH to open the show. He even does a Vince walk down the ramp. Booker is ticked that Cole is still here. HHH is going to start with the things that are the most important and work his way down. In this case that would be the two world titles. The Raw situation is more complicated because he has two world champions. Punk’s name gets less volume than Cena but there are more boos for John. Granted this is Smackdown so that means about as much as a chant in the Impact Zone. Punk has been re-signed and a decision will be made on the situation by Monday.

He starts to talk about Smackdown’s situation and is cut off by Christian’s music. He’s glad HHH is in charge because he’s tired of Teddy Long trying to ruin the show by sucking up to Orton. Christian says that HHH probably wants to establish a working relationship with the champ. HHH says not really because Vince fostered a culture around here where it’s encouraged to step on toes. In HHH’s world though if you step on his toes, he’ll slap you back. The Game doesn’t like negotiations so here’s how it is: at Summerslam it’s Christian vs. Orton in a no holds barred match.

Christian starts to complain but R-Truth of all people interrupts them. He says he’s back home on Smackdown but doesn’t clarify if it’s for more than just tonight. I’d assume it isn’t though. Truth is a bit confused because HHH isn’t talking to himself. Everyone knows there’s a conspiracy against him. DON’T WHAT ME! This Monday, those conspiracies better be figured out. Truth calls himself a man of action. HHH says that gives him an idea so it’s Truth vs. Orton later tonight. Christian offers some tips on how to beat Orton but HHH says not so fast. Christian has a match also against John Morrison, and it’s next.

HHH and Teddy are in the back when Zack Ryder pops up, saying he has an idea. HHH says Ryder has been bothering him all week. A call comes in for the Game so to get Ryder to shut up, HHH makes him Teddy’s official assistant. I felt a great disturbance in the IWC.

John Morrison vs. Christian

I’m kind of curious to see how Morrison is in the ring in his first match back. Morrison sends him to the floor quickly and teases a dive but Christian moves. Morrison puts the brakes on and back into the ring we go. Back elbow puts John down as does a right hand. Morrison fights back and the Moonlight Drive gets two. I think that’s the name at least but it’s the spinning springboard kick that Cody uses also.

Morrison gets sent to the floor and Christian misses a dive out there. John dives through the ropes as we take a break. Back with Christian hitting something that looked like a neckbreaker (only caught the end of it) for two. Christian slams him into the mat and pounds away, working on the neck. Neck crank goes on which makes sense for a change. Tornado DDT is countered and Morrison gets a brief comeback.

He sets for something but Christian reverses into a reverse DDT and gets two. Morrison tries the diving neckbreaker that he used in ECW but Christian rolls out. Christian takes him down again for two and is starting to get frustrated. Standing C4 gets two for Johnny. He pounds Christian down into the corner but the champ fires off a spear for a close two. Christian goes up top only to get drilled. Morrison goes up also and backdrops Christian off the top. Morrison tries something like Starship Pain but lands on his feet. Christian guillotines him and the Killswitch ends him at 6:18 shown of 9:48.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match and Morrison looked fine. I’m really not sure I get the point in having his return match be against the champ but that’s Smackdown for you. Moving Morrison back to Smackdown wouldn’t be a bad idea to give them an upper midcard face to eventually feud with Christian. Either way, this was pretty good stuff, especially for an opener.

Jinder Mahal and Khali have a sky box.

Here’s Wade Barrett who wants to talk about why he left England to become a WWE Superstar. It wasn’t for the fans but rather to make himself a lot of money. He lost track of that in the last year but thanks to Daniel Bryan, he realizes that again. It should have been his case and the paycheck that comes with it.

He’s going back to basics because greed is underrated. Bryan’s music cuts him off and Booker calls him a superhero. Bryan says Slater said the same thing last week and Bryan made him tap. Barrett asks if he really just compared Barrett to Slater. Wade takes credit for shaping Nexus in his own image which Bryan disagrees with. Barrett may have main evented PPVs, but Bryan is going to main event Wrestlemania. Barrett decks him and holds up the case. Bryan picks the arm and hooks the LeBell Lock, making Barrett tap. Booker: “What’s he tapping for?”

Ryder is talking to Teddy when Mark Henry comes up. Teddy says people don’t want to deal with him right now. Ryder says he’ll find an opponent for Henry. Long won’t fist bump him.

Video of Justin Gabriel in South Africa, his home country. This pushes him like a face, talking about how he grew up in wrestling and how he’s kind of a local celebrity now.

Natalya/AJ/Kaitlyn vs. Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Tamina

We get reference to AJ on NXT this week and AJ’s crush on Horny. Tamina and Natalya start us off as Cole makes fun of Rosa because he’s a jerk. Booker: “Rosa is hotter than a Mexican plate lunch.” Tamina takes over and brings in Alicia who gets two off I think a Tamina Samoan Drop. Booker says Alicia has been on fire recently. What show has he been watching? Off to AJ who is seriously too cute for words. A cross body out of the corner misses and Alicia hits the scissors kick for the pin at 2:12. Cole: “Booker you wish you had legs like she did.” Booker: “Yeah sometimes.” Cole and Josh: “WHAT?”

Video on Henry being all evil and dominant, breaking the two giants’ legs.

Mark Henry vs. Bobby Howard

Howard is a local guy apparently and appears to be about 5 and a half feet tall. Ryder tries to talk him into getting into the ring, offering him Broski of the Week honors. Henry is all ticked off and Booker says get Henry some A-1 steak sauce. I think you know what’s coming here. It ends at 1:06 after a WICKED backbreaker.

Post attempted manslaughter, Henry gets a chair and looks to Pillmanize his leg, only for Teddy to make the save. Teddy says Henry can’t compete anymore which Henry doesn’t like the sound of. Long says he’ll find someone. Cue Sheamus of all people who comes out and takes Teddy’s mic. He says he’ll fight Henry which gets a face pop. Sheamus says Henry is just big and as Henry says, bigger isn’t better.

We get an old Irish folktale which ends with Henry being called a 425lb bag of crap. Henry yells at Teddy and there’s a loud Sheamus chant. Sheamus smacks him and ducks low to send Henry to the floor. Henry charges back but Sheamus grabs the chair and says bring it. Henry leaves and Sheamus stands tall. I know I’m a fan of the guy, but face Sheamus is AWESOME. The key thing to him is it’s not really a change of personality. He’s always been willing to fight everyone. Now he just wants to fight bad guys. I can dig this.

Tag Titles: Usos vs. Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga

Wow the champs are on Smackdown. Nexus has new music too. We’ll say that’s Jey starting vs. McGillicutty. They beat the champs on Superstars to set this up. Off to Otunga who does a bit better with Jimmy. Chinlock goes on and the crowd is silent until Jimmy gets a shot in and brings in Jey. He takes over on McGilligutty and they set for the top rope splash. Otunga distracts the referee by pointing out that Jimmy is in the ring still so he can shove Jey off the top. McGillicutter ends this at 2:30.

Ryder is bragging to what he did tonight so far. Teddy says he’s done enough but Ryder suggests Legacy vs. Jackson in a handicap match. Teddy isn’t sure but Ryder has already talked to all of them so the match is on.

Raw ReBound talks about Monday night and all the insanity on it.

Truth feels good about the main event tonight. He says he feels like a bunch of eagles swooping down on a snake. He has a snake tonight and tonight, the Viper is gonna get got.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Ted DiBiase/Cody Rhodes

Cody’s jacket is sleeveless now. Rhodes and DiBiase have to tag here so Ted starts. Both guys are in quickly and that doesn’t go well for the team. Double teaming takes down Jackson until DiBiase gets dropped with a modified snake eyes. Off to Cody who takes a bunch of slams. There’s the Rack but Ted makes the save. That move rarely finishes anyone. Jackson charges at Cody but his shoulder goes into the post. Cross Rhodes ends this at 2:22. What is with the short matches tonight?

Mahal is in the sky box and says stuff we can’t understand. Khali says something too.

R-Truth vs. Randy Orton

The lack of music works for Truth. Orton hits some clotheslines to start and Truth shrugs them off. Another clothesline by Randy gets two. Big knee drop misses and Truth hits a jumping side kick for two. Orton heads to the floor and Truth takes forever to send him back in. He takes enough time that Orton can almost get the elevated DDT but Truth escapes into a Stunner on the apron.

Sloppy suplex into the stunner gets two. Here’s Christian to watch the match and we take a break. Back with Orton firing off some right hands, only for Truth to hit the spinning forearm for two. Off to a chinlock before another elbow gets two for Truth. Truth goes up but jumps into a punch to the stomach.

Orton starts his finishing sequence and gets all googly eyed. Elevated DDT hits and he loads up the RKO. There’s a very small trickle of blood on Randy’s lip. Truth slides to the floor as Christian offers a distraction. Orton follows him out and Truth blasts him in the head with a water bottle. It doesn’t do much here other than make Randy mad so he picks the bottle up and goes back in. Orton spears Truth down and the bottle is nowhere in sight. Instead he hits the floor and grabs a chair, which goes into Truth’s ribs for the DQ at 7:54 shown of 11:24.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t all that interested in this one. I’m not sure why as the match was ok but it really just kind of came and went. It’s not bad but I was just sitting around waiting for it to end. Truth’s offense was off all night long with the moves not looking like they were making a ton of contact and not looking very damaging. Not impressed here but it wasn’t particularly bad, just not very good.

Post match Truth is sent to the floor and Orton pops him in the head with a monitor. RKO onto (not through) the table and Truth is more or less dead. Christian has been watching in near horror the entire time here. Orton gets all evil again and snaps off a second RKO onto (again not through. FREAKING OW MAN) the table to Truth. Christian and Orton stare each other down to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I just wasn’t feeling this one. It has its moments, such as Morrison vs. Christian and Sheamus as a face, but other than that the whole thing was kind of meh. It’s pretty good overall but there’s nothing that jumps off the page at you and the rather short matches overall hurt it a lot. Not a horrible show, but for Smackdown’s usually awesome standards, this wasn’t up to par.

Results

Christian b. John Morrison – Killswitch

Alicia Fox/Tamina/Rosa Mendes b. AJ/Natalya/Kaitlyn – Scissors kick to AJ

Mark Henry b. Bobby Howard – Backbreaker

Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga b. Usos – McGillicutter to Jey

Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase b. Ezekiel Jackson – Cross Rhodes

R-Truth b. Randy Orton via DQ when Orton hit R-Truth with a chair




Smackdown – July 22, 2011 – One Long Street Fight

Smackdown
Date: July 22, 2011
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

Money in the Bank is over and the question is simple: can Christian make it through one whole show as world champion? He won the title from Orton in the first instance I can ever remember where the “if the champion gets disqualified he loses the title” stipulation actually worked. Also Daniel Bryan now has the MITB case so there’s always the chance of a cash in starting tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open the show with Orton sitting in a chair in the middle of the ring. His says his name is Randy Orton. I wonder if he loves to fight. Although there’s a lot going on in the WWE at the moment, this show isn’t going anywhere until his issue with Christian is settled. We get a clip of Orton destroying Christian post match and here’s the new champion.

Christian wants to know what unfinished business Orton is talking about. Orton says as long as Christian is breathing there’s unfinished business. Christian thinks the unfinished business is with the voices Orton has in his head. Orton says Christian has been hiding behind a team of lawyers but Christian says Orton simply broke the rules. Christian says that he’s been fighting incompetence for a long time now and also the unseen forces that keeps Randy on top. He’s beaten them all though and is now a two time world champion.

There won’t be a celebration tonight because nothing has changed over the last few months. He’s not going to talk to these people because they still treat him badly. Orton says these people are going to see him beat Christian tonight because he wants his rematch. Christian says no because rematches don’t grow on trees. Is he new here or something?

The champ says he’s going to leave and talk to his lawyers about the situation. Orton comes after him but here’s Teddy of course to break that up. Teddy says Orton will get his rematch but not tonight because he has Kane in a street fight. Orton needs to be the bigger man and that just doesn’t happen. He takes Christian down and hammers away for a bit until the referees pull him off. Christian gets in Teddy’s face but Teddy says get to the ring because Christian has a match with Big Zeke right now.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Christian

Non-title here. Jackson comes out after a quick break. Christian immediately heads to the floor to hide for a bit. They get into the ring and no mention has been made yet of their ECW days. Total power game from Jackson to start us off and a long gorilla press slam puts the Canadian down. Jackson slams him again and sends him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Jackson slamming Christian into the announce table on the floor.

Christian ducks low and Jackson eats steps and the momentum shifts. That gets two back in the ring. Christian uses some basic stuff but Jackson gets a shot to the ribs and takes over one more time. Actually scratch that as Christian nails him in the ribs and stops the momentum. Booker says Christian can pull this off. He’s the world champion. Shouldn’t it be Jackson that can pull this off?

Off to a chinlock and it’s Jackson in trouble again. Jackson escapes with a Samoan Drop and starts firing off clotheslines. Christian avoids one but can’t hit the Killswitch. Here come the slams but Christian escapes and goes to the knee. Killswitch doesn’t work again and Jackson gets him on his shoulder. Jackson charges shoulder first into the post though and the Killswitch ends this at 6:39 shown of 10:09.

Rating: C. Match was fine but I really don’t get the need to have Jackson lose again. Isn’t there some non champion midcarder that could have done this? It’s not like Jackson should have beaten him but I don’t get the point in having him lose like that. Christian needed the clean win over someone though so that was fine for the most part.

Here’s Cole to bring out Daniel Bryan. Cole says it was a fluke win at MITB and Bryan says he doesn’t care what Cole says. Cole makes fun of Bryan for being all valiant but he knows Bryan is going to cash in like everyone else has: when the champion is down and out. Bryan doesn’t deserve to have that case. Bryan says Cole didn’t deserve to be in a featured match at Mania. No one deserves anything in this company and he’s earned his spot over the last 12 years.

He lists off some of his injuries such as a detached retina and not being able to hear out of his left ear due to being kicked in the head so much. However he won’t quit because he’s dreamed of being WWE Champion since he was a kid. The person who holds the case can cash it in whenever and wherever they want. Bryan however is going to cash it in at Wrestlemania. I’ll believe that when I see it. Heath Slater of all people comes out and calls Bryan a loser.

Heath Slater vs. Daniel Bryan

Slater starts off in trouble and has to escape the LeBell Lock by going to the floor. We take a break and come back with Bryan tossing him around with an armdrag. Bryan is now in the top of Booker’s Fave Five now. Slater throws on a headlock and takes over. Hard whip into the corner puts Bryan down. Bryan starts fighting back and the crowd is cheering so hard that they’re not even moving.

Booker says Slater has the same amount of charisma as a bowl full of turnips. Slater puts him down again as Cole keeps saying it was a fluke. Back to the chinlock as Booker and Cole get into their bickering again. Josh as usual gets us back to the match because he’s the responsible one. Bryan makes a comeback with a flying forearm and both guys are down. Daniel lowers his head and gets kicked in the face for his troubles.

Slater charges at him and goes crashing to the floor. Bryan hits a running kick from the apron and back inside we go. Missile dropkick gets two. Slater grabs a spinebuster for two. Pinfall reversal sequence gets some two counts for both guys. Bryan sets for what looks like a tornado DDT but goes into a guillotine choke instead for the tap at 7:25 shown of 10:55.

Rating: C+. Good match here as Bryan got to showcase himself pretty well. This is what he needs: matches where he can show off his skills and get the win at the end because since he lost the US Title he hasn’t done much. He’s gotten a little resurgence leading up to the MITB win so it’s not totally out of nowhere but he needs some resume building wins.

We recap Big Show vs. Henry at the PPV where Henry hurt Show’s leg post match.

Henry says the destruction will never end because the attack on Show gave him a pleasure. If it sounds like he’s talking about himself, it’s because he is. His words there, not mine.

We get the Vince/Cena/HHH video from Raw which eats up about ten minutes. Josh wouldn’t say Punk’s name leading into the segment.

Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett

Fallout from the MITB build here. The announcers touch on Cara being out due to the “injuries” he suffered in the ladder match. Sheamus hammers him down to start but Barrett gets his foot up in the corner to take over. Cole says Sheamus has a degree in computer technology and Barrett has one in marine biology. Never would have guessed those. Wade chokes Sheamus out on the top rope and then kicks pale boy to the floor.

That gets two back in the ring. Barrett has been dropped from the Fave Five. We get a Harvey Whippleman reference for no apparent reason. Sheamus grabs the Irish Curse for two. He pounds away even more like the brawler he is and they head to the floor. It turns into a slugout and neither guy can really get an advantage. They fight to the announce table and it’s a double countout at 4:29.

Rating: C+. I like big man brawls like these where they don’t really care about the pin and it’s about the fight. Neither guy could really lose here so the ending was the right idea. I’d like to see more of this but then again I like both guys. Either way, fun brawl that probably will lead to something more from them later.

They keep fighting post match and Barrett tries Wasteland, only to take the Brogue Kick to leave Sheamus standing tall.

Kane says he’s going to unleash his pain and misery tonight. Lately he’s been haunted and tonight he’s going to try to escape that. He’s been feeling too human lately and doesn’t like it at all. He uses the Devil’s Favorite Demon line for the first time in many months.

Randy Orton vs. Kane

This is a street fight. They have a ton of time left to do this also. Kane fires away to start and beats Orton down in the corner. Orton gets a boot up though and there’s the Thesz Press. Kane grabs him by the throat but Orton counters into a failed RKO attempt. Out to the floor we go They fight up the ramp and neither guy can get much of an extended advantage.

Orton rams Kane into the railing and finds a kendo stick. He’s getting all googly eyed and slides back in so he can bust out the elevated DDT. That fails completely and Orton is sent back over the top and out to the floor. Orton goes into the railing as we take a break. Back with Kane still in control and getting a two count. Orton low bridges Kane to send him to the floor but jumps into an uppercut.

Kane sets up the announce table but Orton escapes the chokeslam attempt. Orton climbs up onto the table to escape but it falls forward and Randy is holding his knee. He’s up again but he’s limping. Kane’s knees go into the steps in a wicked shot and Randy hammers away. Orton puts Kane’s leg on the step and stomps it into the steel and then slams the steps down onto it. We take another break and come back with Orton hammering away at the leg/ankle.

Kane fires off a big boot to take Orton down. He goes up but Orton avoids him and sends Kane’s shoulder into the post. Elevated DDT hits and it’s RKO time. That doesn’t work and Kane hits the side slam for two. Now the big clothesline hits and Kane calls for the chokeslam. Orton is like screw that and grabs an RKO out of nowhere for a VERY close two. Kane can’t get up so Orton sets up the Punt. The Big Bald pops up and hits a chokeslam for two.

We take an almost unprecedented third break as this match is going to get 20 minutes minimum. Back with Kane picking up a chair. He drills Orton four times with it and loads up a tombstone onto it. Randy escapes that and also escapes a chokeslam onto it. The RKO onto the chair ends this at 14:08 shown of 25:38 (remember that I assume 3:30 per break so the match could have been much shorter or even a bit longer).

Rating: B-. This was good but not great. For a TV match it took up a very long time which probably wasn’t a great idea. They never really hit a high gear but the match itself was fine. I do kind of question giving this so long and giving Barrett vs. Sheamus four minutes as you could have balanced this out a lot better. Still though, good stuff for a long match.

Post match Kane takes his glove off and shakes hands with Randy. I don’t ever remember seeing his right hand. Kane gets up after Orton leaves and the fans applaud him. Geez another turn for the Big Bald? Mark Henry comes out before Kane can leave though and he doesn’t look nice. Remember Kane has a very bad knee here and can barely stand. Kane fires off on him but Henry takes the knee out. Henry gets him down as I guess Kane’s new buddy Orton doesn’t need to help Kane. Kane gets the same treatment Show got at the PPV.

Overall Rating: B. This was an odd show at times as not a lot happened. You had some long matches and a lot of wrestling, but at the same time a lot of people weren’t here at all and weren’t mentioned. The main event is long and probably too long for what it was. The ending is kind of weird as Henry claims another victim, but it keeps Henry’s push going. Either way, good show but not a classic or anything.

Results

Christian b. Ezekiel Jackson – Killswitch

Daniel Bryan b. Heath Slater – Guillotine choke

Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett went to a double countout

Randy Orton b. Kane – RKO onto a chair




Smackdown – July 15, 2011 – More Solid Stuff, As Always

Smackdown
Date: July 15, 2011
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It’s the final show before Money in the Bank and everything is pretty much set in stone at this point.  The MITB match itself is a pretty open field but I’d look for Sheamus, Barrett or Rhodes to win it (what a limb I’m going out on with those picks).  Probably just some last minute pushes for the show here as expected.  Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy?  Mine is a bad internet connection.  And popcorn costing $7 at a theater.

Orton vs. Kane tonight.

DiBiase gets a shot at Jackson too.

Josh is in the ring and brings out the dude that hears voices in his head.  Orton says he won’t get disqualified and that he thinks this is a cheap attempt by Christian to try to steal the title.  Christian pops up on screen and says that clause was his lawyers’ idea.  He has a gift for Orton which is a portrait of Christian standing over Orton with the title.  Orton says that isn’t going to work to make him mad.

Christian starts talking about Orton’s family, namely Bob Orton Jr., who was only a glorified sidekick.  His dad is in the Hall of Fame in the wing with guys like Drew Carey and the other cheap jokes.  He’s in the HOF to keep Randy happy.  Orton says come say that to his face, which Christian says he’ll do once he wins the title on Sunday.  He calls Orton pathetic and Orton calls Christian a pathetic excuse for a man and a superstar.  After Sunday, Christian will be exposed as a flash in the pan that needed Edge to help him win the title for five days.  Simple segment but the emotion was there.

Video on Show vs. Henry which I think is the same one from Raw.  They face off tonight.  Not a match, just a face off.

Intercontinental Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Ted DiBiase

 

New ring announcer tonight who looks a bit better in a blue dress than Chimmel does.  DiBiase hits Jackson and that doesn’t go well for him.  Out to the floor as Booker rambles about his Fave Five as is his custom.  Jackson is rammed into the post which gets two in the ring.  Cody is watching and the referee, the former Nunzio, is really loud here.

DiBiase takes over and throws on a chinlock.  The following clothesline is countered by Jackson.  How has no one else ever countered that?  Apparently Ted has blown all of his money and it’s implied that it was on Maryse.  Here come the slams but DiBiase counters into a Dream Street attempt but Jackson shrugs it off and slams Ted again.  Rack doesn’t work but the second attempt does with the submission coming at 3:45.

Rating: C. See, this is what Jackson needs more of: wins where he gets in some trouble but eventually uses the power game to make his comeback and set up his finishing stuff.  Nothing fancy here and it worked just fine.  Also helps when he actually, you know, wins his matches instead of losing them.

Most of the MITB people are in matches later.

Ted is in the back and Cody says he’ll bag him if Ted loses again.

Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes

 

We get a quick recap video of this feud during the introductions.  It’s almost shot like its from the mind of a crazy person so it looks really cool.  Ok make that a long one.  Bryan hammers him into the corner to start us off and he escapes an Alabama Slam attempt.  LeBell Lock doesn’t work and Cole puts a bag on and imitates Booker.  Ok that was kind of funny.

Rhodes takes over for a bit but Bryan sends him to the floor and takes over with a dive.  We take a break and come back in the ring with Cody in control.  Cody throws on a half crab which doesn’t last long.  Like you can put a submission on Bryan.  Cody works over the ribs as the fans keep coming in and out of this one.  Booker gets asked about being in a MITB match and somehow he starts talking about Daniel Bryan.  Apparently it’s too brutal to talk about.  I give up.

Anyway it’s back to the half crab as the announcers totally ignore the match other than Josh when he can get a word in edgewise.  Bryan fires back with some forearms and a leg lariat/running kick for two.  Some light Cody chants start up.  Not we’re talking about Booker being a drum major.  Alabama Slam gets two and the commentary is really starting to get old.  Talk about MITB or ANYTHING of importance, but drop the bickering.

Cody tries Cross Rhodes but Bryan climbs the ropes to get behind Cody.  Bryan gets put on the top but kicks Cody away and manages to grab the LeBell Lock while on the ropes.  That gets broken up of course so Bryan settles for the missile dropkick for a long two.  Running dropkick in the corner puts Cody down again.  They both go up and Bryan gets crotched badly.  That positioning allows the Beautiful Disaster to end this at 7:29 shown of 10:59.

Rating: B. I liked this one a lot actually.  Cody can be really good when he gets some time and Bryan of course is capable of having a good match with anyone.  This has been a pretty solid mini feud and I’d like to see it get a title involved.  Good stuff here and a rather fun TV match indeed.

Teddy is on the phone talking about getting protection or something.  A referee comes in and Teddy tells him that if there’s any physicality in the Big Show/Mark Henry showdown, their PPV match is off.  The referee leaves and Teddy talks about gambling a lot.  This seems to be a running theme with him.  Kane comes in to thank Teddy for giving him a match with Orton as he requested.  Kane isn’t happy because he’s starting to feel human instead of like a monster.  Teddy says if it makes him feel any better, he’s scaring Teddy right now.  Kane says if Teddy was really scared, Teddy wouldn’t be able to tell him.

Jinder and Khali are in a photo shoot and Jinder isn’t happy with the photographer paying attention to Khali.  They both yell at him and that’s about it.

Christian is looking at Orton’s bus and there’s spray paint on the side talking about Christian being the uncrowned champion.  He says he’ll find out who did this.

Sheamus vs. Sin Cara

 

This should be interesting.  Wade Barrett is on commentary here.  The match starts after a break.  Cara takes over to start with his high flying stuff.  Barrett admits that the Corre was a disaster.  Sheamus can’t get anything going as Cara gets an armdrag out of the corner.  And let’s talk about the Fave Five because it’s been a full 4 minutes since we did.  Apparently Booker sees some of himself in Sheamus.  Uh….ok?

We talk about the drum major stuff as it’s kind of interesting to see how long they can go without actually talking about the match.  Barrett is talking about how he’s going to win as Sheamus gets a running knee lift while Cara is draped in the ropes.  Off to a cravate as we’re probably two minutes without talking about the match now.  Now let’s look at Booker and Barrett talking because the match isn’t important I guess.

Josh finally mentions Cara being grounded here, which apparently has NEVER happened to him before.  Honestly, is there something in the water in the announcers’ water cooler?  Cara sends him to the floor and Sheamus may have hurt his knee.  Back in Sheamus catches Cara in a dive and hits a fallaway slam for no cover.  He loads up the High Cross but Cara counters into a rana for the surprise pin at 6:00.

Rating: C+. Not a great match but by far and away Cara’s biggest win to date in WWE.  I’m rather surprised that they would have Sheamus lose here but it looked like a fluke win which is probably the best way to have it happen.  It doesn’t really hurt Sheamus as he had Cara beaten but took too much time to end him, which is good for both guys.

Barrett takes Sheamus down post match and hits Wasteland.  He looks weird in a collared shirt and slacks.

Christian is in the casino with a wallet.  Naturally it belongs to Orton and it’s time to gamble with the $1000 he finds in there.  He says Orton is going to need the money for anger management and his daughter’s college.  Christian puts it all on 1 in a game of roulette and loses it of course.  Christian says Orton’s luck just ran out.  I liked this as it was something outside of the ordinary which you hardly ever see anymore in promos.  Just having something different in the background makes it more interesting.

Time for the showdown which is just the two big guys talking.  Teddy moderates it for lack of a better term.  Henry isn’t going to come farther from the stage though because he can’t hold his temper well enough apparently.  They talk about pain and how it’s Show’s problem apparently.

Show says everyone has been waiting for Henry to wake up and Show finally did it.  Henry asks if Show thinks bigger is better.  Without waiting for an answer, he says stronger and meaner are better.  Both guys say the other has no idea what they’re capable of.  Teddy has to stop a fight and says we’ll see who wins Sunday.  I still don’t get the appeal of this feud.  Scratch that.  I get the appeal, but I just don’t care about Mark Henry at all.

Rosa Mendes vs. Kelly Kelly

 

Non title here.  I have absolutely no idea what to talk about here.  Match is over and there’s just nothing to say.  Kelly wins with the K2 at 1:49.  The majority of the match was spent talking about jobs Rosa has had.  Nothing else to say at all.  Oh and Alicia was at ringside and did nothing at all.

Johnny Curtis pulls an elephant out of a bag which is supposed to be a cat.  Apparently it’s the big elephant in the room.  They’re really running out of ideas aren’t they?

Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater

 

Both guys have their own music now.  Slater says he’s tired of being held back and that he’ll show he’s better tonight.  Nice technical stuff to start as they know each other really well.  The crowd doesn’t seem to care at all but you can’t have everything I guess.  Gabriel starts fighting back but can’t hit the 450.  Cole runs his mouth some more as Slater misses a moonsault.  The 450 hits and we’re done at 2:52.  Well Slater looks like nothing now.

Video on Punk vs. Cena, which is the same from NXT.

Randy Orton vs. Kane

 

For some reason I’ve wanted to see a proper feud between these two for years.  Just seems like it would be good.  Orton hammers away to start which doesn’t really work.  Christian is on the stage.  Kane hammers away as he is known to do.  The clothesline hits and he calls for the chokeslam about 75 seconds into this.  Orton counters with right hands but he can’t take Kane down.  He manages to get the powerslam and the elevated DDT.  RKO is countered and Orton sees Christian, allowing Kane to send him to the floor.  Christian throws a drink at Randy and runs into the crowd.  It’s enough for the count out at 2:58 though.

Orton chases after Christian and gets him near Kane and the beatdown is on.  Kane doesn’t like Christian though and chases him off.  Orton pops up and hits the RKO on Kane but Christian hits a spear and pounds on Randy.  Christian gets a chair but Orton gets it away from him as the Canadian runs.  Kane takes a chair shot.  Make that a lot of them.  Orton goes all bugged eyed on Christian to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. Good show but it was a step behind what the others have been recently.  That being said, they had some good matches and a story going throughout the show.  Also they had some nice build for the PPV so maybe it wasn’t all that bad of a show.  It’s not as good as some others they’ve done, but still for a go home show, this was really pretty good.

Results

Ezekiel Jackson b. Ted DiBiase – Torture Rack

Cody Rhodes b. Daniel Bryan – Beautiful Disaster

Sin Cara b. Sheamus – Hurricanrana into a pin

Kelly Kelly b. Rosa Mendes – K2

Justin Gabriel b. Heath Slater – 450 Splash

Kane b. Randy Orton via countout




Smackdown – July 8, 2011 – Three Way Feuds Are Awesome

 

Smackdown
Date: July 8, 2011
Location: Tucson Arena, Tucson, Arizona
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Booker T, Michael Cole

 

 

This was taped last week but for Smackdown that’s not going to change anything from the norm. Tonight we get some fallout from last week with Sheamus interjecting himself into the main event scene to end the show. Other than that we’ll probably be building up to Money in the Bank with some more stuff between the ladder match guys. Let’s get to it.

 

 

We open with a recap of the ending of last week’s show where Orton signed the contract but before Christian did, Sheamus returned and beat both guys up and ripped up the contract.

 

 

Do you know your enemy? Mine is a really bad sunburn.

 

 

Most of the MITB guys are in the ring but I only see seven right now. Sheamus is missing I believe. Everyone gets to say something. Bryan says he’s excited and nervous because he’s wanted to be world champion since he was a little kid. Cody cuts him off and says it’s because Bryan is a common man incapable of the things exceptional people do. Cody is one of those exceptional people. Once he wins the title everyone will have to swallow their pride and look him in the eye.

 

 

Barrett says he’s tired of hearing about what everyone else has done. He starts listing off his accomplishments but here’s Sheamus with a chair. He cracks almost everyone with it and clears the ring. Sheamus says he’ll win and cash in on Orton when he beats Christian. He’s going to get Orton tonight though, because of getting punted last month. Here’s Christian who asks if Sheamus thinks he can’t beat Orton. Sheamus calls him a scrawny, malnourished, googly eyed homely weasel.

 

 

Christian points out that he beat Sheamus a few weeks ago before Orton punted Sheamus. He’ll also be world champion after MITB. There’s a clause in the contract, saying that if Orton gets disqualified or if there’s bad officiating, Christian is automatically world champion. Christian calls him Ronald McDonald and asks if he can even read a contract. Sheamus throws the chair at him and here’s Teddy. Orton vs. Sheamus is the main event. Really solid opening segment here as Sheamus looked fired up and intimidating. I’m liking this three way feud a lot and they’re running it perfectly.

 

 

Clip of the first MITB match with Edge winning and cashing in about 9 months later.

 

 

Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. Daniel Bryan/Ezekiel Jackson

 

 

Booker gets a bag again. DiBiase and Bryan start us off with DiBiase not being able to do much. Off to Jackson who is part of the Fave Five of Booker. We actually get the full list: McIntyre, Jackson, Sheamus, Barrett, Cara and a dark horse in Ryder. The good guys clear the ring and send Cody to the floor as we take a break. Back with Bryan firing off kicks to Cody in the corner.

 

 

Cody avoids a charge in the corner and backdrops Bryan onto the corner and catches him in an Alabama Slam for two. It’s off to DiBiase who keeps the advantage and hits a chinlock. Back off to Cody who uses his old school style to dominate even more. DiBiase chokes some more. Cole picks Wade Barrett to win MITB. Bryan gets a boot up in the corner and Josh picks Sin Cara, the same as Booker. Hot tag to Big Zeke who gets a nice reaction. He starts slamming people and Racks DiBiase but it’s broken up by a Beautiful Disaster and Dream Street gets the pin at 6:45 shown of 10:15.

 

 

Rating: C+. Pretty basic tag match here but for the love of all things good and holy Vince, why do you think midcard champions always have to lose? He won the title and then beat Barrett a second time and now he’s lost to Rhodes (not that bad) and then to DiBiase. Why in the world would that be something they’d think is smart? I don’t get why midcard champions are booked into the ground so often anymore but it’s getting annoying.

 

 

Video on Mark Henry and his domination as of late.

 

 

Striker tells Henry he’s facing potential fines, suspensions and criminal charges after what he did last week. Henry breathes a lot.

 

 

Jinder Mahal vs. Trent Barreta

 

 

During Mahal’s entrance we hear about some empire he’s built up and we don’t hear anything about his wife/Khali’s sister. Are they already changing the story? Anyway Khali sits in on commentary (you read that right) and actually speaks some English now. Total squash in the ring and the full nelson slam ends it at 1:04. The camera was on Khali more than the match. Post match Cole mentions the story we got last week.

 

 

Sheamus says his recent rampage is an Irish thing.

 

 

AJ vs. Tamina

 

 

Cole: “Hopefully this doesn’t put me to sleep like a Harlem Heat match.” Josh: “Tell me you didn’t just say that.” AJ has different hair now as it’s a bit lighter and a bit wavier. Natalya and Alicia are at ringside. Cole bashes Natalya for most of the match as Tamina dominates with an Umaga hip smash to the face. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. AJ fights back and hits a Shining Wizard for two. Tamina misses a splash in the corner and AJ gets a rollup for the pin at 2:28.

 

 

Alicia yells at Tamina post match.

 

 

Mark Henry vs. Kane

 

 

Kane looks terrified but hammers away to start. Henry runs him over but Kane gets three dropkicks, two to the knees and a seated one to the chest, for two. Top rope clothesline is caught in a belly to belly for two. Henry stands on the chest for a bit and Kane is in trouble. The big fried freak fires off a right hand and the crowd is surprisingly into this. Big boot puts Henry down for two.

 

 

Kane goes up again and this time the clothesline hits. He loads up the chokeslam but Henry breaks out of it and headbutts Kane. A second attempt at the chokeslam hits but Henry gets his foot on the ropes. Out to the floor and Kane tries a chokeslam through the table but Henry breaks it up, ramming Kane into the post. Back inside a splash gets two. Mark is all ticked off now and the World’s Strongest Slam gets the pin at 5:52.

 

 

Rating: C. For a battle of the big men this was fine. They kept it relatively short which is the right idea for sure. If they want Henry to be taken as a big threat, this is the kind of win he needs. Kane is still someone with credibility and Henry beating him clean by just overpowering him is a good thing for him. I still don’t get the appeal or point of pushing Henry but it’s his every other year push so it’s to be expected.

 

 

Henry yells at the announcers post match.

 

 

Orton says he doesn’t care what the contract says because he’s going to win with the RKO. As for Sheamus, he’ll have to defend the title against him eventually but as for tonight, good luck to him.

 

 

Video of Miz winning MITB last year.

 

 

Tyson Kidd vs. Sin Cara

 

 

There go the lights again. Kidd grabs an armbar to take him down almost immediately. Cara speeds things up and hits an armdrag to send Kidd to the floor. Cara tries a dive or something similar to one, only to get his head slammed into the apron. Back inside Cara hits a slingshot corkscrew splash for two. Off to a chinlock by Kidd as the fans chant for Cara. Kidd keeps countering Cara’s moves and it’s working pretty well. He tries a springboard elbow but Cara gets the knees up to block it.

 

 

Cole says his name would be Billy the Kid if he was a superstar. Booker and Josh are quiet for a bit and then laugh at him. Cara starts his comeback and gets a victory roll into a sunset flip for two. Kidd kicks him down and goes up, only to get dropped onto the buckle. They go up again and the C4 off the top ends this at 4:16.

 

 

Rating: B-. Pretty good stuff here as I didn’t notice any botches which is a change for Cara. Granted they may have been edited out but that’s the perk of a taped show. Anyway not bad here and Cara is starting to get better slowly but surely as he’s having more coherent matches rather than just doing random spots. Good stuff.

 

 

Teddy is asked if he’s intimidated by Henry and won’t answeron.

 

 

Video on Ezekiel Jackson.

 

 

Usos vs. Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater

 

 

The matches are good but we’ve seen this how many times now? The Usos do their dance thing on the way to the ring. Jey has a tattoo on his chest apparently so he starts us off with Gabriel. Slater comes in rather quickly and takes Jey down as the crowd is more or less silent. Booker talks about the Fave Five again and it’s already annoying. Gabriel comes in and gets two before hitting a headlock. After some silence on commentary, Booker randomly says that no one likes Cole.

 

 

Double big boot puts both guys down as Jimmy tries to get the crowd back to life. It’s not really working but points for trying at least. Off to Jimmy vs. Slater with Jimmy being labeled as the powerhouse. Bubba Bomb puts Slater down as Booker says they both need gain another hundred pounds or so. Samoan Drop gets two on Slater. Slater manages to take him down with something like a Zig Zag and it’s off to Gabriel. He wants the 450 but Slater gets kicked into the ropes to crotch Justin. We get Power and Glory’s old finisher (superplex/top rope splash combo) to end Gabriel at 3:32.

 

 

Rating: C+. Another fine match but again, we’ve seen this how many times now? The teased tension between the former Nexus/Corre is what you would expect as they’ve been a successful team long enough so it’s time to split them in a feud that not many people want to see. Anyway this was fine and it’s cool to see the Usos have an actual finisher.

 

 

Johnny Curtis is at a table with a bunch of birthday stuff on it. He takes the cake. Debut him already and get it over with.

 

 

We get an abbreviated version of Cena and Vince from Raw.

 

 

We run down the MITB card. Henry vs. Show is official.

 

 

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

 

 

Christian vs. Orton has been signed apparently and the Canadian is on commentary here. Orton fires away in the corner and Sheamus is in trouble. Pretty basic back and forth stuff here as Orton counters some Sheamus offense with a dropkick. He loads up the punt but Sheamus hits the floor. Back in Orton hits his way too enthusiastic Thesz Press and they slug it out to the floor.

 

 

Orton gets reversed into the railing and part of the wall falls down. Elevated DDT is blocked and Orton goes shoulder first into the post and back out to the floor. Christian goes after Orton but Sheamus stops him. Orton goes into the post again as we take a break. Back with Sheamus hitting a DDT to the arm for two. Orton makes a brief comeback but takes a knee to the ribs to put him right back down.

 

 

Randy makes his comeback and uses his regular stuff including the scoop powerslam. He adds something new to the arsenal with a belly to belly suplex for two. Sheamus gets a kick to the knee and pulls himself up to the top for a shoulder block for two. Irish Curse gets two. Brogue Kick and RKO are countered and Orton hits the backbreaker. Not that it matters as Christian comes in for the DQ at 8:24 shown of 11:54, giving Orton the win.

 

 

Rating: B-. Not a great match or anything but compared to the stuff these two were putting on in 2010, their recent stuff has been a miracle. I was thinking Sheamus would win MITB and then cash in at the end of the night but now I’m not so sure. Either way, not a bad match here and fine for a TV main event.

 

 

Post match Sheamus lays out Christian but walks into an RKO to leave Orton standing tall to close the show.

 

 

Overall Rating: B. While a step down from last week this was still good stuff. The key thing to Smackdown is they don’t waste time. Everything they do is either advancing a story, in ring action or promoting one of their wrestlers. This show was no exception as everything on here had a point, which is rare in today’s wrestling product. Anyway good show but not as good as last week.