IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 6, 2020
Location: Keybank Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s the go home show for the Elimination Chamber and we have the two Chamber matches set up. One of them will be a tag team edition, so this week we get to see the six teams fight in another form of an elimination match. This time it’s a gauntlet match with the winners getting to enter the Chamber last. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of John Cena’s return last week, with the Fiend appearing to set up their Wrestlemania match.

Opening sequence.

Here are Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross in the ring to talk about the Hall of Fame. We hear about this year’s class and, after calling out the Kabuki Warriors for a Women’s Tag Team Title match, bring out the NWO (Sean Waltman, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall this time) for a chat. Nikki says that she’s been a big NWO fan for life and takes a picture with the three of them. Bliss what they should call Waltman, who says “Hall of Famer”.

We get around to Nash ending Goldberg’s winning streak and Nash talks about talking to Roman Reigns. Nash told Roman that he needs Scott Hall and a cattle prod to defeat Goldberg. Hall: “That was a shocking finish.” Cue Sami Zayn, Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura in an interruption I didn’t expect. Sami says 1997 was a great time but it’s time for the future. We get some praise for Hall and Nash as former Intercontinental Champions. Sami: “And Sean Waltman….you know exactly how much the Intercontinental Title weighs because you carried their bags for years.”

Waltman is ready to fight but Nash says Sami looks like Seth Rogen after two weeks of stomach flu. The fight is teased and the fans are WAY into this. Sami backs off though, saying their objective is to destroy Braun Strowman at Elimination Chamber. Cue Strowman so Cesaro goes after him, only to be thrown into the set. Nakamura gets dropped as well and it’s Sami being caught between Strowman and the NWO. Sami hides behind Alexa (oh yeah the women are here) and bails so Strowman throws a chair and promises violence on Sunday. It’ll even be too sweet.

The NWO looked like stars, the women were there because someone had to set this up and the modern guys looked like they were trying to be on the legends’ level. They were trying, but it wasn’t clicking in the way they were shooting for. Usually I don’t find that to be the case but it certainly felt like it here.

Sasha Banks/Bayley vs. Naomi/Lacey Evans

Rematch from last week. Bayley and Sasha take Lacey into the corner to start and the stomping is on in a hurry. Naomi gets pulled off the apron and send into the barricade as we take a break just over a minute in. Back with Bayley working on Evans’ leg and the feed being interrupted for the circle of lights that has been popping up in recent weeks.

Evans gets over for the tag to Naomi as house is cleaned in a hurry. Back in and Naomi kicks Banks in the head, followed by a bulldog into the middle buckle. Bayley has to break up a sunset flip at two but the split legged moonsault is broken up. Banks gives Naomi two knees in the corner for the pin at 7:07.

Rating: D+. They almost have to be setting up Banks vs. Bayley for the title at Wrestlemania, as it’s not like there’s anything else going on. Either that or some big multi-woman match that they certainly seem to love doing. The match wasn’t anything to see, but maybe that’s because they did it last week.

New Day talks about trying to recreate Kofimania, but this isn’t Polk High and Kofi isn’t Al Bundy. They can go all night long like a moose in mating season, with Big E. hitting on Kayla Braxton before breaking into New Day Rocks.

Bayley and Banks are so awesome and can’t believe the Bellas are getting into the Hall of Fame before them. No one can touch them from the past, present and future and Bayley might even skip Wrestlemania and go straight to the Hall of Fame.

In one of those perfectly natural segments that you see on WWE TV, Shorty G. tells Apollo Crews that he has his back. Crews isn’t interested.

Sheamus vs. Apollo Crews

Crews gets sent to the apron to start but manages to snap Sheamus’ throat across the top. A high crossbody into the standing moonsault gives Crews two but Sheamus drives him into the corner. The Brogue Kick gives Sheamus the pin at 1:07.

Drake Maverick returns from whatever hole he fell into to ask Drew Gulak for a match against Daniel Bryan. Gulak says he knows all 163 of Bryan’s weaknesses but here’s Bryan to interrupt. If Gulak is so confident, how about he come fight Bryan on Sunday?

Dolph Ziggler is here with Mandy and Sonya. Mandy drives Carmella into the corner to start but Carmella reverses and shuffles away. Sonya comes in and runs Carmella over but Dana comes in to dropkick Sonya in the hand. A blind tag brings Mandy in though and a running knee finishes Dana at 2:55. Just a way to get Mandy, Sonya and Ziggler on TV.

We look at Cena vs. Fiend being set up again.

It’s time for the Firefly Fun House with a wall full of John Cena pictures. Bray Wyatt calls it magnifico and thinks the fans must be asking why Cena. Ramblin Rabbit pops in to say it’s because Cena beat him six years ago at Wrestlemania, sending Bray into a depression and starting his downward spiral of negativity. Bray, sounding a bit nervous: “Yeah Yowie Wowie.” Bray says there would be no Firefly Fun House without Cena. He forgives Cena, but a being built on pain and fueled by vengeance is waiting at Wrestlemania. That being is not so forgiving and around and around we go. Let him in.

Video on Roman Reigns vs. Goldberg.

King Corbin interrupts a question because he doesn’t want to hear about Roman Reigns. Elias interrupts with some guitar, much to Corbin’s annoyance. Corbin calls Elias a gimmick and says shut up or answer to the king.

Heavy Machinery is getting ready for the gauntlet match but Otis walks over to Mandy, who was all of three feet away. Otis talks about getting a text from her on Valentine’s Day but Mandy says it’s too late because a woman doesn’t like being stood up.

This week in WWE History: Occupy Raw in 2014.

Tag Team Gauntlet Match

Non-title with six teams and the winners enter the Elimination Chamber last. New Day is in at #1 and Heavy Machinery is in at #2 with Tucker shouldering the rather popular Kofi down to start. They both try dropkicks but it’s a standoff, meaning Big E. and Otis come in. A battle of the shoulders goes to Otis and stereo delayed vertical suplexes put New Day on the floor. Otis clotheslines them both and we take a break. Back with Big E. getting over for a tag to Kofi so the pace can pick up. Kofi gets launched over the top onto Tucker, who suplexes him down HARD. A dropkick cuts off a charging Big E. and it’s the Compactor for the clean pin at 8:20.

The Lucha House Party (Lince Dorado/Gran Metalik) is in at #3 and start the high flying, including a springboard crossbody to Tucker. That doesn’t seem to matter though as he takes Dorado down in an armbar. Dorado gets Tucker into the corner but the hot tag brings Otis in a few seconds later. Otis starts shrugging off the chops and strikes with the power of jiggling. Everything breaks down and the House Party hits stereo springboard dives as we take a break.

Back with Tucker putting Dorado in a quickly escaped half crab. Otis bearhugs him instead but the Golden Rewind puts Otis down to one knee. Tucker and Metalik come back in with Metalik hitting a reverse Sling Blade. The rope walk dropkick puts Tucker down and the chinlock goes on. An enziguri into a good looking top rope splash gets two on Tucker, who is right back up with his own splash for two more. Otis splashes Dorado in the corner and hits the Caterpillar for the pin at 20:33.

The Usos are in at #4 and we’re joined in progress after another break with Jey armbarring Tucker. Jimmy kicks Otis off the apron but Tucker kicks Jimmy down as well. Jey superkicks Tucker for two….and gets rolled up to get rid of the Usos at 25:08. Miz and John Morrison are in at #5 and it’s a quick spinebuster/Flying Chuck combination for two on Tucker.

Post fall, Miz and Morrison destroy Otis and Tucker. We cut to Mandy watching Otis get beaten up when Dolph Ziggler comes up and says watch this. Robert Roode and Dolph Ziggler are in at #6 as we take another break. Back with Roode chinlocking Tucker as Otis is still down on the floor. Tucker suplexes his way out of trouble but has to trade some kicks to the ribs with Ziggler. A dropkick puts Tucker down for two and a Stinger Splash into the neckbreaker is good for the same.

Rating: C-. Let me make sure I’ve got this straight: we just spent 40+ minutes completely recreating the Kofi Kingston gauntlet match from last year but with Heavy Machinery pinning the already weak Tag Team Champions and then losing to Dolph Ziggler in the end? The Kofi story worked because A, it was Kofi Kingston and B, it felt different. This was almost a copy of the same story and while the fans were getting into Otis, it was hard to believe that he would win in the end. Why? Dolph Ziggler was in the match, and Dolph Ziggler must squash any fun that can be had.

Overall Rating: D. I keep thinking that they couldn’t take my interest away from Elimination Chamber even more but then they do something like this and we’re at a new low. What headlines that show? The #1 contenders match as we count down to Shayna vs. Becky? The match we’ve known was coming for about a month now? It feels like they’re not trying and that is as frustrating as you can get with WWE. Just get the show out of the way as soon as possible so they can actually make an effort on the way to Wrestlemania. Please. They need it.

Results

Bayley/Sasha Banks b. Naomi/Lacey Evans – Double knees to Naomi

Sheamus b. Apollo Crews – Brogue Kick

Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler won a gauntlet match last eliminating Heavy Machinery

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 30, 2005
Location: Entertainment Center, Laredo, Texas
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re almost ready for No Mercy and most of the card is either set or all but set. That makes for a show that is all about getting fans to want to buy the pay per view, which is often the hardest part. Maybe it works out well here though, even if the show might not seem like the biggest deal. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Cole gives us a quick rundown of Laredo and its location near the border. I don’t think I need a geography lesson to open the show.

Here’s JBL, with an inner tube, a sombrero and a donkey as I think you know where this is going. After a bit of Spanish, JBL tells the fans to find someone with a green card, if they can. The fans chant at him so JBL threatens a big call to immigration before talking about going to meet Rey’s relatives. This includes inner tubing at night and jump starting “peek up” trucks. JBL says the back of the donkey reminds of everyone he sees here, which is why he had to be careful in selecting a partner.

Mr. Kennedy/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio/Hardcore Holly

Kennedy compares Tony Chimmel to the donkey on the way in. Rey does the Mexican hat dance around the sombrero before dropkicking Kennedy down for an early two. An inner tube shot to the back lets Kennedy take over and it’s JBL coming in. That earns him a DDT and a tag to Holly means more of a beating in the corner.

It’s already back to Mysterio vs. Kennedy with JBL breaking up a quick 619 attempt. The fall away slam sets up the bearhug until Rey bites his way out. After dispatching Kennedy, it’s off to Holly to pick the pace way up. A full nelson slam plants Kennedy and it’s the dropkick to JBL. The questionably low kick to the ribs drops JBL again but Kennedy grabs Holly, allowing the Clothesline From JBL to connect for the pin.

Rating: C-. Just a quick tag match to advance a pair of feuds and there is nothing wrong with that. JBL doing the anti-Mexico stuff is as JBL as you can get so I wouldn’t have expected anything else. Kennedy is growing on me in a hurry and I’m starting to see why he was as popular as he was for the time being.

Eddie is eating some Mexican food when Batista comes up and takes it away. Just looking out for his partner you see. Batista eats it anyway, making me want some Mexican food in the process.

Melina is in the parking lot when Christy Hemme rides up on a motorcycle (I’m not sure that’s the safest riding attire). They get in an argument and Melina breaks a nail, meaning a match is imminent.

Melina vs. Christy Hemme

MNM are at ringside. Christy sends her into the corner and tells Melina to watch her nail. That earns her a dropkick for two as Tazz rambles about Christy looking great on the motorcycle. An armbar has Christy in trouble until she makes it to the rope, only to have Melina drape the arm across said rope. Christy’s sunset flip out of the corner into a kick to the head lets Christy roll her up for two (with a rather suggestive form on the rollup). Mercury distracts the referee though, allowing Nitro to trip Christy for the pin.

Rating: D. If you’re getting pinned just because you call on your face, it might be time to stay out of the ring. This was every lackluster women’s match you would get around this time, but at least there wasn’t a ton of catfighting. They don’t seem to be trying to make this a bunch of serious women’s matches and given the current crop of talent, that’s best for everyone.

Post match Melina yells so Christy hits her in the face. MNM goes after her but Heidenreich and Animal make the save.

We look back at Undertaker popping out of the casket last week in a fairly effective segment.

Bob Orton vs. Undertaker

Before the match, Bob insists Randy won’t be around tonight so Bob can show no mercy. Never trust a cowboy. Bob snaps off a left hand to start and the glare sends him bailing to the floor. Back in and Undertaker doesn’t honor a timeout request and hammers away but the ref gets bumped early. That means the low blow so here’s Randy to jump Undertaker, because you can’t trust a cowboy.

The big beatdown is on, with Randy hammering away and sending Undertaker over the announcers’ table. They toss Undertaker over the top and back inside so Bob can get two, meaning it’s time for the pain. The ref gets bumped again so Randy can try the RKO….which is shoved away. The Tombstone finishes Bob before Randy can cheat again.

Rating: D. Bob was only 55 years old here so it’s not ridiculous to have him in a match where he actually has to work. The wrestling wasn’t the point here of course as it’s all a way to show that Undertaker might be in trouble when Randy and Bob are allowed to wrestle at the same time. I’m not sure how good the casket match will be, but at least it should be a bit better than this.

Post break, here’s what you saw pre break.

We take a quick look at Bobby Lashley debuting and destroying Simon Dean last week.

Bobby Lashley vs. Russell Simpson

Simpson can’t wrestle him down or whip him in so Lashley drives the not so bright jobber into the corner. Some kicks to the leg slow Lashley down until it’s a backbreaker to drop Simpson. The Dominator gives Lashley the fast pin.

Post match here’s Simon Dean to offer Lashley a shake before their match at No Mercy. This goes as you would expect, with the shake being squashed and Dean being pressed out to the floor.

It’s time for the Peep Show. Before we get to our guest, Christian wants to know why there is no United States Title match at No Mercy. Chris Benoit has been on a roll as of late until he ran into Christian. That’s why he should get the title shot, but here are Booker T. and Sharmell to interfere. Sharmell says Christian asked Booker what he had done lately so Booker talks about pinning Christian last week.

This brings out Orlando Jordan to say he deserves a shot because it’s time for him to get his revenge on Benoit. Booker: “It took you longer to say that than it took Benoit to make you tap out.” Teddy Long comes out and says Benoit gets to choose the opponent but first of all, let’s have a triple threat match so everyone can showcase themselves.

Orlando Jordan vs. Christian vs. Booker T.

Joined in progress with Booker getting double teamed but he sends Christian to the floor and beats Jordan up. Everyone heads to the floor with Jordan being sent into the steps but Christian takes Booker down into a neck crank. Christian heads up top so Booker follows him, only to have Jordan come back in for the Tower of Doom. Booker is up first and beats on Christian, including loading up a catapult. Jordan rolls him up though, sending Christian over the top and grabbing the trunks to finish Booker.

Rating: D+. This Jordan stuff needs to stop in a hurry. The joke ran its course but he’s still here despite having no apparent reason to be there. Other than being there for the sake of filling in a spot, what other justification is there? Nothing match of course but that’s probably best for something with Jordan involved.

Post match Benoit comes out and says he’ll fight them off. Makes a lot more sense than another Jordan match.

Vince McMahon comes in to see Teddy and Palmer Cannon. After Palmer sucks up to him, Vince wants to know the Smackdown match for Homecoming. Teddy knows who will be involved, but not who is in it yet. Teddy had four days and couldn’t come up with a match involving three good guys and three bad guys?

Animal/Heidenreich are defending and Eddie’s stomach seems fine this week. The bell rings and we take a break about two seconds in for an Undertaker vs. Ortons ad. Back with Heidenreich throwing Eddie around and firing off rights and lefts in the corner. Eddie makes the mistake of punching Animal so it’s off to Batista for the big power showdown.

Animal kicks him down but misses an elbow and it’s already back to Eddie and Heidenreich. Eddie feigns stomach pain and gets in a low blow. That doesn’t last long though as Heidenreich knocks him down and puts on the chinlock. Animal’s powerslam gets two but Eddie hurricanranas his way out of a Doomsday Device. It’s off to Batista so house can be cleaned, including the Batista Bomb to Heidenreich. Animal makes the save but here’s MNM for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was all about setting up the ending and thank goodness they didn’t change the titles. Eddie vs. Batista is interesting and having them go for the titles like this was fine, as long as they don’t actually win them. That’s a trope that needs to go far, far away and it’s quite the relief that they didn’t go that way this time around. Animal and Heidenreich do need to drop the belts, but not here.

MNM unloads on Batista and Eddie with chairs but Eddie takes one away, only to hit Batista by mistake (allegedly). Batista gets up and clears the ring, seemingly not knowing that Eddie hit him.

Overall Rating: D+. They’re in an interesting stretch here as Eddie vs. Batista is a feud where you have to wait and see what is really going on. That’s not normal for WWE and it’s nice to have a bit of a change. Other than that, Undertaker vs. the Ortons feels like it’s going to be going on beyond No Mercy and JBL vs. Mysterio only has so much potential. This show wasn’t great for the most part, but they do have a direction. I’m just not sure how good of a direction that is.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 28, 2020
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

Things are changing in a hurry around here as Goldberg is Universal Champion. That alone would be a huge deal but now we have the return of John Cena, who seems ready to get in the ring at Wrestlemania in just over five weeks. It’s the busy season again and that means things are going to get interesting in a hurry. Let’s get to it.

Here are yesterday’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Goldberg to get things going. It’s not about who’s last because it’s all about who’s next. He throws the mic down and here’s Roman Reigns (dang they’re not waiting around for this one), which Goldberg seems to like. They stare each other down until Reigns says “I’m next”, as the Wrestlemania sign looms over them.

Classic John Cena Moment: the debut match against Kurt Angle in 2002, which was a heck of a match aside from just the promo and slap. The Undertaker handshake felt important too.

Naomi vs. Bayley

Non-title. Hold on though as Bayley has a mic and says she shouldn’t have to be here in front of these little idiot fans. She already made history last night so she’s just here to introduce a future multi platinum recording artist. That would be Sasha Banks, so Bayley jumps the distracted Naomi from behind. Naomi kicks her in the face and hits a dropkick into the corner, only to get sent face first into the corner. The Rear View draws Banks in for the DQ at 2:38.

Lacey Evans and here we go.

Naomi/Lacey Evans vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks

Lacey and Naomi start with some horrible dropkicks to the floor, followed by stereo dives….or in Lacey’s case a jump over the top onto the apron and a fall onto Bayley. Back from a break with Sasha sending Naomi face first into the mat and bringing Bayley back in. Bayley works on an armbar as we hear about Lacey changing her ways and wanting to be a role model.

A knee to the face gives Bayley two and it’s back to Sasha, leaving Bayley to tell the fans to shut up. Naomi finally kicks her away and brings in Lacey to start cleaning house. Lacey kicks Banks off the apron and hits the slingshot elbow onto Bayley. Naomi’s springboard crossbody gets two as everything breaks down. With Lacey on the floor, it’s a Backstabber to Naomi but Lacey pulls Sasha out with her. That leaves Naomi to sunset flip Bayley for the pin at 9:27.

Rating: D+. This was as WWE of a tag match as you can get, complete with the botches near the beginning. It was exactly as you knew it would go and that doesn’t make for the most thrilling stuff. Naomi pinned Bayley, but the interesting thing was a lack of mention about the Elimination Chamber match. I know Lacey mentioned it, but with nine days to go before the show, you would think it might be brought up.

New Day is fired up and have a staredown with Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode.

Classic Cena Moment: the first World Title.

Kofi Kingston vs. Robert Roode

Roode takes him into the corner to start and chops away as Cole and Graves make stupid banter about Mandy Rose. Kofi scores with his dropkick and works on the arm before elbowing Roode out to the floor. The the referee not looking, Roode kicks the steps and feigns a blow to the head, so the referee ejects Big E.

Back from a break with Roode holding a chinlock and then pounding Kofi with forearms. There’s a suplex to Kofi and Roode goes to the middle rope to mock the New Day clap. That lets Kofi avoid a knee drop and come back in with a springboard shot to the head, followed by the Boom Drop. Roode is right back with a full nelson slam for two, followed by the spinebuster for the same. Kofi grabs the SOS so Ziggler puts the foot on the rope. The distraction lets Roode roll him up for the pin at 12:27.

Sonya Deville and Mandy Rose are watching in the back with Sonya referring to Ziggler as Mandy’s man. Mandy doesn’t react.

Otis is distraught when Tucker comes up to him. Otis thinks something is up but Tucker says the reality is that sometimes Ziggler gets the girl. Tucker tells him to remember the fans and Otis says he’s right.

Classic Cena Moment: beating the Rock in the rematch.

It’s time for a contract signing for the Intercontinental Title match at Elimination Chamber. Shinsuke Nakamura, with Cesaro and Sami Zayn, come out first, followed by Braun Strowman (with a rather bad haircut). Sami tells Strowman to sit down but Strowman throws the chair up the aisle. That sends Sami into a rant about how Nakamura couldn’t enjoy his birthday last week because Strowman powerslammed him onto a grand piano.

Strowman tells Sami to shut up he doesn’t care what’s in the contract. He’ll have to fight all three of them anyway so there’s the signature. Sami likes what he just heard and makes a quick amendment to make it a handicap match, with all three signing. Therefore, it’s officially three on one at Elimination Chamber. Strowman moves the table but the numbers game gets the better of him and the beatdown is on. A double suplex/kick to the face puts Strowman through the table.

We recap the Goldberg vs. Reigns showdown.

Curtis Axel vs. Daniel Bryan

Drew Gulak is on commentary as Bryan keeps getting his friends TV appearances (and there’s nothing wrong with that). Axel starts fast as Gulak talks about seeing holes in Bryan’s game that could be exploited. With Bryan down, Axel mocks the YES pose but Bryan is back with the YES Kicks. More kicks look to set up the big one but Axel revers into a small package for two. A clothesline to the back of the head drops Bryan but it’s the LeBell Lock to make Axel tap at 4:31.

Rating: C-. I can get behind something like this. WWE has so many wrestlers who can do something in the ring but are never used. I know they’re not likely to be stars and there’s nothing wrong with that, but throw them out there, just for the sake of some fresh faces. Gulak and Axel probably aren’t going to set the world on fire but they’re under contract so why not swap them in for some of the other regular jobbers for a change?

Classic Cena Moment: the sixteenth World Title.

Here are Miz and John Morrison to brag about being the new Tag Team Champions. You know the original, but the reality is that the sequel is going to be even better. Since they won, it’s time for a singing celebration, complete with the Miz and Morrison chant plus Miz’s theme song playing as a bonus. Hold on though as we have a referee and we have a title match….at Elimination Chamber against New Day, the Usos, Heavy Machinery, Lucha House Party and Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler.

Usos vs. John Morrison/Miz

Non-title. Jimmy takes Morrison into the corner to start and we get the circle of lights breaking into the feed again. When did that become the go to way to promote someone debuting/returning? It feels like they’re everywhere these days. Miz takes over with a DDT for two so it’s off to Morrison for a kick to the ribs. The chinlock goes on with the Usos in trouble as we take a break.

Back with a double tag picking up the pace until Jey is caught with a neckbreaker/top rope double stomp combination. Everything breaks down and Jimmy dives onto Miz, only to have Jey’s Superfly Splash hit knees. Starship Pain is broken up so Jimmy hits a middle rope Canadian Destroyer, setting up the Superfly Splash to give Jey the pin at 9:50.

Rating: C+. Bad night for the champs here, though at least they can blame it on the jet lag or something. That and it really doesn’t matter given that the Elimination Chamber is coming up so soon. However, you really couldn’t do a DQ here or have the Usos beat another team? Or just not have the champs involved at all? Pretty good match though, after a series of less than inspiring ones so far.

Here’s John Cena for the big close. After taking in the crowd reaction, Cena says that he’s back so it must be Wrestlemania season. So what is he doing at Wrestlemania this year? He knows his role has changed so now it’s time to do something a little different. Cena always listens to the biggest superstar there is, which would be the fans. He knows he can probably say or do whatever he wants and have it happen at Wrestlemania, but he’s going to do the right thing.

This year’s Wrestlemania should go on without him. It’s not goodbye but it’s goodbye for now, because Cena cares about the future. Wrestlemania spots should be earned and not demanded so this year’s he’s betting on the future and sitting out. That makes tonight special because he doesn’t know when he’s going to be back. He has an announcement tonight and he wanted to make it in front of his friends and family.

The fans cheer for him and Cena drops the mic before heading to the front row to shake hands with some kids. Cena goes up the ramp and salutes….and there go the lights. They come back up and the Fiend is…..right behind him. Cena looks at the Fiend, who points at the sign. Cena looks at the sign, looks at the Fiend, and nods, as the lights go out and we get the laugh to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show picked WAY up in the second half and that’s the best thing that could have happened. The first forty five minutes or so were a complete slog with almost nothing happening and then things got a lot better in a hurry. It’s like the exhaustion was turned off and they were trying to build towards some major shows, which made things that much better. You can’t ask for much more than two big Wrestlemania matches being made in one night so well done, as the top of the card is now mostly full. Just take care of the rest of it and we’ll be fine.

Results

Naomi b. Bayley via DQ when Sasha Banks interfered

Naomi/Lacey Evans b. Bayley/Sasha Banks – Sunset flip to Bayley

Robert Roode b. Kofi Kingston – Rollup

Daniel Bryan b. Curtis Axel – LeBell Lock

Usos b. Miz/John Morrison – Superfly Splash to Morrison

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 23, 2005
Location: United Spirit Arena, Lubbock, Texas
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

No Mercy is coming up pretty soon and that means the card needs to start being set up. We already have the World Title match set and you can probably guess a few more from here. That makes for some interesting moments, though the Palmer Cannon story is already wearing thin. Hopefully everything else can balance it out. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Christian vs. Booker T.

Booker takes him into the corner to start and we get a clean break because Booker is a nice guy. A hiptoss has Christian bailing to the ropes for a breather but a clothesline puts him down again. Booker slugs away in the corner but Christian powerbombs him off the ropes and grabs a chinlock. That gives us a rather amusing visual as Booker looks irritated at having to do this so Christian steps on his head for a change of pace. Back up and a double clothesline knocks both of them down.

It’s Booker up first with the side kick connecting for two and a spinebuster puts Christian down for two more. He’s back up with a clothesline and unhooks a turnbuckle pad, causing Sharmell to yell at the referee. That means there’s a delayed two off the Book End, allowing Christian to get in a poke to the eye. Sharmell gets up on the apron to yell this time so Christian sends Booker shoulder first into the post. Christian loads up the Unprettier so Sharmell pulls his leg, allowing Booker to grab a rollup pin.

Rating: C-. Egads this Sharmell stuff is getting annoying but it might lead to Booker turning heel, where he thrives a little bit better. The match was the usual decent one between these two, albeit with Sharmell getting involved so often that it got annoying in a hurry. Now can we get back to one of these two going after the US Title again?

Eddie Guerrero has a stomach ache but refuses to be taken out of the main event where he teams with Batista against MNM. Vomiting ensues.

Jillian Hall introduces JBL as Texas’ favorite son and richer than JR Ewing. JBL comes out in street clothes to say he’s managed to come home again. This place reminds him of how far he’s come because now he knows how great New York City is. Texas has its perks too, like JBL being born here. People are still chanting his name though, from Texas Tech to Madison Square Garden. He still doesn’t like people who come here in the dead of night and wear masks to hide from immigration. JBL will defend wrestling and America because he is a wrestling god.

Animal/Heidenreich vs. Jared Steel/Anthony Galleti

Non-title and Galleti is pinned off a Doomsday Device in about a minute.

Sylvan (minus the Grenier) doesn’t think much of how Christy Hemme and Stacy Keibler look. Hardcore Holly comes in to defend their honor.

Sylvan vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly has Christy and Stacy with him but gets jumped by Sylvan to start. That earns Sylvan some chops but he sends Holly over the top for a crash. A running knee in the corner drops Holly again but he’s right back with a dropkick for the breather. The spinebuster looks to set up the Alabama Slam but Sylvain slips out. Sylvan catches him with a middle rope dropkick, only to have Holly come back with a shot to the face. That’s enough for Sylvan, who leaves for the countout.

Rating: D. As has been the case for several weeks now, points for trying someone new but it’s still Sylvan vs. Holly. What are you expecting from these guys? The match was short and nothing all that interesting, but was it ever going to be anything else? Sylvan as a fashion expert is Sylvan with a gimmick. I need more than that.

Teddy Long tells Batista about Eddie’s issues but the best doctor in town is on the way.

Cowboy Bob Orton has a casket in the ring and is directing people to set up decorations for what looks like a funeral.

We recap last week’s main event, including Undertaker seeing himself in a casket.

Bob brings out Randy Orton for part of the Undertaker’s retirement ceremony. They open the casket to show the fake Undertaker and Randy talks about how he won last week with mind games. As he is talking, the mannequin opens its eyes and neither Randy nor Bob have any idea what is going on behind them. Randy leans over Randy and gets grabbed by the throat but Bob pulls him to safety. Short angle but to the point well enough.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Rey Mysterio

Before the match, Kennedy says Chimmel is getting the hang of this commentary thing. Kennedy gives him a hug and tells Chimmel to take a bow, but it’s a low blow to put Chimmel down instead. A mic drops from the ceiling and Kennedy handles his own entrance, even saying that he gained a pound because the Simon System works. The threat of an early 619 sends Kennedy to the floor but he picks Mysterio up and hits a backbreaker for two back inside.

Mysterio sends him into the corner and gets in a springboard crossbody, only to get planted hard again. Kennedy sends him to the apron so Mysterio springboards in with a seated senton. That earns him a DDT but Kennedy misses a charge and gets caught with a Fameasser over the middle rope. Cue JBL, on a horse, for a distraction though, allowing Kennedy to hit the super Regal Roll for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was fine enough but what matters here was some smart booking. They advanced Mysterio vs. JBL, which is all but guaranteed for No Mercy, but also keep Kennedy undefeated and strong. Just like in the previous match, they’re trying something new, but in this case they might have something with Kennedy.

Raw Rebound.

Teddy Long has an idea for Raw Homecoming but he and Cannon need to focus on tonight’s main event.

Sharmell has been talking to Kennedy and doesn’t know why Booker can’t get a US Title shot.

The doctor doesn’t know what’s wrong with Eddie and neither does the attractive nurse.

Simon Dean comes out and gets a debuting star.

Simon Dean vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley shoves him down to start so Simon needs a shake. Simon can’t do much so Lashley bounds him off the mat in a unique spot. For some reason Dean tries a half nelson so Lashley does pushups with Simon on his back. Lashley suplexes him down and finishes with a Dominator. Why wouldn’t you push this guy to the moon?

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Benoit is defending and takes his time here, finishing with the Crossface in about 50 seconds. I think we get the joke now.

Eddie seems to be feeling better after the nurse works on him but freaks out when Batista replaces her. Batista has his own doctor, who seems to violate Eddie in a rather personal way. The doctor’s name? Dr. Barnett.

Undertaker vs. the Ortons in a casket match is confirmed for No Mercy.

Batista/Eddie Guerrero vs. MNM

There’s no Eddie to start but he hobbles down the aisle, still holding his stomach. Mercury gets shoved into the corner to start and then gets shoved down for a bonus. For some reason Mercury tries shoving Batista, meaning it’s a chase around the ring. Back in and Mercury can’t whip Batista either so Batista easily chokes him. Nitro gets in a kick to the back and Mercury scores with a neckbreaker for two. Batista shrugs off a double suplex and spears Nitro down, meaning it’s time to clean house. A Melina distraction lets Batista hit the Batista Bomb on Mercury, only to have Eddie tag himself in and steal the pin.

Rating: D+. This was an angle instead of a match as MNM loses again, this time in a glorified handicap match. At least it was to someone who is at the top of the food chain, though it is still annoying to see a team who could be so much lose over and over. They aren’t the champions at the moment though so it could be a lot worse. Just get them their titles back from Animal and Heidenreich as the story is over. Batista vs. Eddie is getting interesting though and I want to see where things go from here with the mind games going hard.

Batista isn’t pleased with a smiling Eddie to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It was a rough show this week with the wrestling not being all that great and the stories only being so good. Eddie vs. Batista is an interesting take on things but Cowboy Bob isn’t quite enough to make me care about the (still good) Undertaker vs. Randy feud any more and JBL vs. Mysterio is just a feud that is taking place. The show wasn’t bad, but it also wasn’t very good and No Mercy isn’t looking great so far.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 21, 2020
Location: Gila River Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

As tends to be the case far too often these days, WWE is building to several things at once. This time around it’s the go home Smackdown for Super ShowDown, Elimination Chamber is in about two weeks and we’ve got Wrestlemania (and its sign) looming over everything. The big story tonight is Goldberg being in the arena for a change as he’s ready to face the Fiend next week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are the Usos to get things going. They aren’t happy with Miz and John Morrison targeting them last week so tonight is about revenge. They’re not coming in alone though so here’s New Day. The Usos are glad to have them here, though they better be keeping those titles warm. Both teams put over the others’ accomplishments but Big E. points out that they’re up 7-6 in title reigns over the Usos. That makes them the better team, but the Usos want one more shot after Super ShowDown. Now it’s Miz and Morrison interrupting and they have a song the fans can sing about their names. They have partners too.

Usos/New Day vs. Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler/Miz/John Morrison

Joined in progress with Ziggler in trouble in the corner, including Big E. whipping the Usos into Ziggler. The Usos send Kofi into him as well but Morrison throws Kofi to the floor for a big boot from Miz. Kofi gets sent into the barricade as Big E. has to be held back. Roode chinlocks Kofi back inside and sends him into the corner for the tag to Ziggler. With the referee distracted, Kofi gets triple choked but Miz spends too much time posing.

Kofi goes up top but gets shoved outside in a big crash. Back from a break with Kofi backdropping Ziggler to the floor and hitting a running stomp on Roode. That’s enough for the hot tag to Big E., who comes in and beats the heck out of Miz. Morrison cuts off the spear through the ropes so Big E. gives him the Rock Bottom out of the corner for two (during the kickout, the screen glitches to show what looks like a letter).

Morrison’s running knee to the face into the standing shooting star press gets two so it’s a spinebuster/Zig Zag combination (more like a spinebuster/slap to the back combination) for two on Jey with Jimmy making the save. A bunch of superkicks have Ziggler in trouble and, after escaping the Glorious DDT, another finishes Roode at 11:45.

Rating: C. It’s a formula tag match which mixed up two feuds and that is something that works far more often than not. The Usos are back at full speed and that’s a very good sign for the future of the division. You can only do New Day vs. Usos so many times though and a title change to someone fresh would be a smart move. Also, what was up with the glitch?

Drew Gulak offers Daniel Bryan a PowerPoint presentation about what is wrong with him but Heath Slater comes in. Heath is annoyed at Bryan for beating him (Heath: “You made my kids cry. Nobody makes my kids cry but me!”) so he wants a rematch. Bryan is game.

Long video on the Mandy Rose/Otis saga, including last week’s failed date.

Tucker accuses Mandy of inviting Dolph Ziggler but Mandy says Ziggler was there when Otis was late. She doesn’t seem to know anything about sending out a text saying she was going to be late.

We get a sitdown interview with Lacey Evans, who was hurt by the loss to Bayley but she isn’t finished until the job is done. Yes she used to be a bully but then Sasha Banks and Bayley brought her daughter into it and that made her change. Now, her sights are on the Elimination Chamber and she will win the Women’s Title at Wrestlemania. Wait, how many Elimination Chamber matches are we getting??? The Raw women’s match has already been announced and you would assume a men’s match so…..at least three?

Cesaro/Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Elias/Braun Strowman

This is a Symphony of Destruction match, meaning there are musical instruments around the ring and falls count anywhere. Elias sings a song to introduce Braun, which actually isn’t interrupted. Braun brings out the huge bass for a nice callback to the first version of this thing. Elias hiptosses a tambourine out of Nakamura’s hands to start and then knees him out to the floor.

Everything breaks down in a hurry and Strowman breaks a drum over Cesaro’s head. That earns him a ukulele to the back from Sami Zayn, which has even less effect than you might have expected. Nakamura catches Strowman with a mic stand to the face though and we take a break. Back with Cesaro playing the cowbell and then sending Elias through a table.

That just earns him the running shoulders from Strowman, followed by a chokeslam onto the apron. Sami offers another distraction though and it’s a double suplex to send Strowman through the bass. It’s Elias with another guitar to the back but Nakamura breaks up an elbow through a table. Instead, Strowman powerslams Nakamura onto (not through) a piano, leaving Elias to elbow Cesaro through the table for the pin at 10:44.

Rating: C+. I liked this one well enough as the sight gag of the big bass coming back alone helped. Then you have a powerslam onto the big piano, which was a cross between painful and impressive. I’m not sure how far anything in this feud is going to go but it gives some people something to do for the time being so good enough.

Video on Roman Reigns vs. King Corbin.

Corbin is tired of Reigns’ face being everywhere and he’s ready to get rid of Reigns one on one at Super ShowDown. Then Corbin becomes the face of the company.

It’s time for a Moment of Bliss, with Alexa Bliss talking about the Hall of Fame. This year’s class includes the NWO and Batista, and now it will also include the Bella Twins, her guests tonight. They can’t believe how awesome this is and they’re all about breaking barriers, like making this announcement on the first ever women’s talk show. Brie brings up being pregnant at the same time and….uh yeah everything is awesome. Daniel Bryan comes out for his match and brings his daughter for a nice moment.

Daniel Bryan vs. Heath Slater

Drew Gulak is on commentary and is rather pleased with Slater starting on on Bryan’s knee. A knockdown gives Slater two and he goes up, only to have Gulak yell at him. The distraction lets Bryan move and the YES Kicks are on. The running knee finishes Slater at 2:44.

Mandy is in the back (with another letter glitch, though it might look like a ticking clock) when Ziggler comes up to offer her a ride. She accepts and they leave, with Otis popping up behind them, looking rather sad.

Sheamus is going to be in the Elimination Chamber. So that’s three, minimum.

Shorty G. tries to fire Apollo Crews up but Apollo doesn’t want to hear it. He’ll handle Sheamus his way.

Naomi vs. Carmella

The winner gets Bayley, at ringside, for the Women’s Title at Super ShowDown. Naomi pulls her into a headlock to start but Carmella reverses into one of her own. That’s broken up as well so Naomi gets two off a sliding clothesline. The very spinning headscissors has Naomi in trouble but she’s back in with a high crossbody for two. A quick Bayley distraction lets Carmella get two off a middle rope hurricanrana. That’s enough for an ejection and Carmella takes Naomi out with a suicide dive as we take a break.

Back with Carmella cutting off the dancing kicks and getting two off an Edge-O-Matic. Naomi misses a springboard kick to the head so she settles for a slingshot corkscrew dive to the floor. A sunset flip gets two back inside and Carmella reverses into the Code of Silence. That’s escaped into a Rear View for another near fall on Carmella. A middle rope Blockbuster sets up the split legged moonsault to pin Carmella for the title shot at Bayley at 12:47.

Rating: D+. That’s about as good as you were going to get here as neither of them are exactly known as ring generals. You could have gone with either winning but Naomi’s entrance inside a stadium will be worth seeing. I’m not sure what this means should Bayley win, but since we’re getting another Chamber match, it should be explained in a hurry.

John Cena is back next week.

Here’s Goldberg for a chat. He’s glad to be back and whatever the Fiend is, he’s ready. Cue the Firefly Fun House with Bray doing some construction. Bray wants Goldberg to get to know his friends, including most of the cast. There is one person left though….and the lights go out. The Fiend is here but Goldberg is smart enough to turn around and spear him.

Goldberg loads up another one but the lights go out again and Fiend disappears to end the show, complete with Fiendish laughter. As usual, Goldberg is at his best when things are kept simple. He hit Fiend hard and Fiend went down, can he do it again? What more do you need?

Overall Rating: C. This was the annoying show that we have to get through but thankfully next week will only have two things to build towards. That’s the big overarching problem at the moment: there is too much stuff coming up on the calendar and it is causing a lot of issues. This week’s show was designed to set things up for next week and beyond, which is fine, but doesn’t exactly make for a thrilling show. It did its job, but that job isn’t an exciting one.

Results

Usos/New Day b. Miz/John Morrison/Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode – Superkick to Roode

Elias/Braun Strowman b. Cesaro/Shinsuke Nakamura – Top rope elbow through a table to Cesaro

Daniel Bryan b. Heath Slater – Running knee

Naomi b. Carmella – Split legged moonsault

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 16, 2005
Location: Alltel Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

With Raw’s Unforgiven coming up on two days after this show, it’s time to start setting up the next Smackdown pay per view. Last week seemed to be an ending point for some big stories and that means we are coming up on some new stuff. I’m looking forward to seeing what they have in store but you never know what that might be. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Chris Benoit vs. Christian

Non-title. Hold on though as here’s Orlando Jordan who says he wants another shot. Christian and Jordan beat Benoit down but Jordan gets caught in the Crossface. Christian breaks that up so here’s Booker T. to make it a tag match. The REFEREE makes it a tag match though as he must have sights on Teddy’s job.

Christian/Orlando Jordan vs. Booker T./Chris Benoit

Sharmell comes out to watch as Booker hiptosses Christian to start. The spinebuster gives Booker two but Jordan gets in a cheap shot from the apron. Christian knocks him to the floor and gets two off a neckbreaker back inside. The chinlock doesn’t last long but Christian keeps Booker down and brings Jordan in. Now why would you do something stupid like that?

Jordan grabs his own chinlock and, of course, Booker fights up and hits the Book End because Jordan is really, really bad at wrestling. Benoit comes in and suplexes Christian but Jordan breaks up the Crossface. Jordan and Booker head outside with the former grabbing a chair so Booker shoves him away, right into Sharmell. That’s not cool with Booker but in the melee, Christian hits the Unprettier to finish Benoit.

Rating: C-. It’s almost amazing how bad Jordan is and yet WWE keeps him at this level for whatever reason. He can’t do anything above the most basic stuff and can’t even do that right. That’s what makes it such a relief to have Christian being moved into Jordan’s slot against Benoit. It’s an instant (mega) upgrade and a huge relief.

Video on Randy Orton being the Legend Killer and Undertaker being the Undertaker.

Batista flirts with Christy Hemme and Stacy Keibler, has a sip of a Simon System milkshake, and heads to the ring.

Palmer Cannon and Teddy Long bring out Batista for a chat. Batista says he needs a new #1 contender, so Teddy, “Network guy”, who’s it going to be? Long is ready to announce someone who sounds a lot like Rey Mysterio as #1 contender but Cannon takes the mic away and picks Eddie Guerrero. Eddie talks about his addictions with the biggest being his addiction to manipulation. Last week, he finally beat Rey and now he has a new addiction: respect.

Now he is all about honor and love and Batista is greatness. There won’t be any hate at No Mercy and they can have the greatest match of all time. Batista says they can be friends and Eddie is very pleased. Everyone knows what kind of man Eddie is and imagine what kind of champion he can be. Eddie offers a handshake and wants to be friends but Batista wants a hug. This was a bit weird, but the mind games are going to be a lot of fun to watch, mainly because Batista is smart.

Tag Team Titles: Heidenreich/Animal vs. MNM

MNM is challenging because these teams are the tag division these days. Heidenreich runs Mercury over to start so it’s already time for a conference. Mercury gets in a few cheap shots before running to the floor, where Animal nails him with a clothesline. Animal comes in and gets choked on the ropes, setting up a double Russian legsweep for two. A neckbreaker gets the same and we hit the quickly broken sleeper. Animal kicks that away and brings Heidenreich back in to clean house. Melina’s interference fails as everything breaks down, including Mercury hitting Heidenreich with the belt for the DQ.

Rating: D. So yes the feud can continue so WWE can sell more DVDs. They would be a lot better off by having Heidenreich and Animal destroying jobbers because these matches are just showing how nothing Animal and Heidenreich have in matches that last more than a minute. The nostalgia run is fine, but don’t treat it like it’s anything more than nostalgia/cashing in on the original team’s legacy.

Long and Cannon argue over Eddie being named #1 contender but the network has its wishes.

The Ortons have a surprise for Undertaker in the back of a U-Haul truck.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Rating: C-. This would seem to set up a rematch at No Mercy as JBL isn’t going to be happy with a loss to someone like Mysterio. The good thing about Rey is something like this could be considered a fluke win and allows for a variety of rematches, even though seeing JBL over and over doesn’t exactly bode well. He’s still one of the top heels on Smackdown though and putting the two of them together is a fine way to go.

Nunzio and Vito are in Teddy’s office with the former wanting to know why he’s isn’t wrestling even though he’s Cruiserweight Champion. Eddie, who is still here, suggests a match with Batista and Cannon makes the match.

JBL won’t answer questions and walks away so here’s Mr. Kennedy to ask why he isn’t getting some attention. Oh and Josh Matthews smells so bad he smells like Arkansas. Kennedy introduces himself and as luck would have it, he’s up next.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Jacus Plisken

Right hands and the super Regal Roll finish Jock in about a minute.

Batista vs. Nunzio

Non-title, Vito is here with Nunzio and Eddie is watching from the stage. The announcers make it clear that Nunzio has been stuck on Velocity in recent weeks, further killing anything the title could still offer. Batista pulls both of them inside and throws Nunzio at Vito. Vito’s distraction lets Nunzio get in a dropkick and that’s enough to set off the destruction. The Batista Bomb finishes in a hurry. I’d love an explanation for why they do this to the Cruiserweight Title. It’s been the case for a long time now and there has to be a reason.

Randy Orton tells Cowboy Bob to wait for the right moment.

JBL has a secret meeting with Jillian Hall because he needs her assistance.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Joined in progress with Undertaker shoving him away and grabbing a rather harsh headlock. A big boot gives Undertaker two and it’s off to a keylock. Orton fights up but gets pulled into a Fujiwara armbar as it’s weird to see scientific Undertaker. Old School is broken up with a crotching and Orton headbutts him so hard that he staggers himself. The superplex plants Undertaker and Orton calls for his dad to bring the truck.

Since we’re about five minutes into the match, Undertaker sits up, only to get DDTed back down. The truck comes in and is opened to reveal….a casket. Back from a break with Undertaker fighting out of a chinlock and elbowing away in the corner. That just earns him a dropkick and we hit the chinlock again. Orton goes up top but dives into a raised boot to leave them both staggered. The over the back backbreaker drops Undertaker, but he slugs Orton down from his knees.

The jumping clothesline connects and Undertaker scores with the big boot into Snake Eyes. Orton kicks him in the face and Undertaker glares him down before heading outside. Undertaker teases sending him into the casket but there’s an Undertaker mannequin inside, allowing Orton to send him into the steps. Back in and Orton has to slip out of a Last Ride attempt, only to have the referee get bumped. The RKO gets two from a second referee and a chokeslam connects for the same, with Bob pulling the referee out. Another RKO is countered and the Tombstone finishes Orton.

Rating: C. The match was a good bit overbooked but that’s the kind of thing that you have to expect from a main event level match like this. I’m sure we’ll get a casket match eventually and while that might not be thrilling, it does make sense given the story. Hopefully the wrestling is a bit better, but there is a special feeling when Undertaker is in the ring.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t great here but what matters is that we are seeing some new stuff. Eddie vs. Batista, JBL vs. Mysterio and Christian vs. Benoit, plus the continued rise of Kennedy all give me some hope for the next month. Smackdown had some good stuff over the summer but they have been long overdue for some fresh blood. Hopefully we can get something good in the coming weeks and this show made me think that’s a possibility.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 9, 2005
Location: Gwinnett Center, Duluth, Georgia
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s a big night as Smackdown moves over to Fridays, where it would stay for a very long time to come. This is a stacked card with Batista defending the World Title against JBL in a bullrope match, Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio in a cage match and Heidenreich/Animal defending the Tag Team Titles against MNM. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

A small note about this show: the first hour was aired on WWE.com due to a benefit concert for the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Heidenreich/Animal vs. MNM

MNM is challenging with Melina at ringside. Heidenreich rushes both of them to start and the fight is on in a hurry, with Nitro’s flip over him only resulting in a crash. Animal drives Nitro into the barricade and punches Mercury in the face as the dominance is strong early on. Mercury’s arm is wrapped around the post but Melina offers a distraction so he can snap Heidenreich’s throat across the top.

A running knee in the corner lets Nitro hammer away and it’s back to Mercury for a front facelock. With Heidenreich down, Mercury goes up but takes his time, earning himself a slam right back down. The hot tag brings in Animal to clean house but the referee gets bumped. Melina brings in a title but gets caught, allowing Animal to belt Mercury in the head to retain.

Rating: D+. I was kind of surprised by how not horrible this was. Animal and Heidenreich have been champions for about a month now and while they really don’t need to be around much longer, they could have been worse. At least the ending wasn’t clean so there is a reason for a rematch in the near future.

Video on Randy Orton vs. Undertaker with Orton promising to retire the Undertaker.

Here’s Ken Kennedy for his match, but first he needs to tell Tony Chimmel that there are two things he sucks at: announcing and announcing. Kennedy handles his own introduction again and you really can feel the charisma dripping off of him.

Ken Kennedy vs. Paul London

Kennedy elbows him down to start and stomps away, setting up a middle rope elbow. A bearhug (what an odd visual) goes on but London is out in a hurry with a spinning kick to the head. London takes him up but gets caught with the middle rope Regal Roll for the pin, meaning Kennedy can handle the victory announcement.

Rating: D+. Not much to this one but Kennedy continues to roll. It’s easy to see what they see in Kennedy and I could go for more of him. The It Factor is strong with him, though it’s a little weird to have him go from beating Booker T. one week to beating Paul London the next. At least he looked dominant though and that’s the right idea early on.

Theodore Long and Palmer Cannon are shown watching. Yes, the bosses are in fact here.

Paul Burchill vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Fallout from an attack on Velocity and William Regal is on commentary to make our lives better. Burchill declares himself the most dangerous import since Regal, which makes his eyebrows go up. Scotty slugs away to start but Burchill takes him down by the arm and hammers away. The armbar with a chinlock goes on early on but Scotty fights up. That earns him three straight whips into the post, setting up a shoulder breaker. The Fujiwara armbar makes Scotty tap.

Rating: C-. Burchill is someone else who gets your attention and has the aggression that can take him a long way. That and being out there with Regal will always help him, as the evil British guys is a trope that has worked for years. I liked what I saw here and they’re doing some interesting stuff with the new talent, so well done there.

Kennedy comes up to Sharmell in the back and introduces himself, while bragging about beating Booker T. last week. Sharmell leaves but Kennedy brings up the lack of title shots that Booker T. has received. Like say, against Chris Benoit. Friends shouldn’t let friends drive drunk but they should give friends title shots.

Here’s the Undertaker to deal with the Ortons. Undertaker says that he and death wait for no man so Randy and Bob can get out here right now. Cue the Ortons on the stage and Randy brings out the check for $1,416 towards Undertaker’s retirement fund. If Undertaker wants it, come get it. Instead, Undertaker sends a bolt of lightning to light it on fire. The idea of Undertaker and money is just wrong.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

In a cage and Eddie has new music. Eddie walks right over to him before the bell and hammers away in the corner before sending him into the cage three times in a row. Rey is back up with a spinning armdrag and a monkey flip but the cage prevents a 619. It’s too early to climb though and Eddie powerbombs him down for a double knockdown. Eddie pulls him down again, this time wrenching Rey’s knee (yes, a Mysterio knee injury) and we take a break.

Back with Rey trying to pull Eddie down and getting kicked away. Instead, he jumps up onto the ropes for a super Russian legsweep, because going Russian usually works. Rey goes up again and this time they both wind up sitting on top of the cage for the slugout. It’s Rey getting his legs over the side first but Eddie pulls him back in and they wind up on the top rope instead. In a pretty unique spot, Rey dropkicks him into the cage and they both crash down.

Eddie is back up with a DDT but Rey grabs the leg for the save. Back from another break with Rey hurricanranaing him off the top but tweaking the knee again. Rey goes up again but makes the rather dumb mistake of trying a high crossbody, earning the crash and burn landing. Eddie has the chance to leave but goes up top instead and hits the frog splash to FINALLY beat Rey.

Rating: B. This felt like a weird afterthought with Summerslam already done but at least Eddie FINALLY got a win over Rey. It’s the only way the story could end from Eddie’s side and that’s the right call if they’re going that way. Both guys are ready for something new and that’s long overdue at this point.

Linda McMahon asks you to donate to Hurricane Katrina relief.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Benoit is defending and we see both full title matches during his entrance. Jordan misses a right hand and gets Crossfaced for the tap at 22.5 seconds. Yeah it’s still funny.

Video on Batista.

Long and Cannon announce Undertaker vs. Randy Orton for next week.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Batista

Batista is defending in the four corners variety bullrope match. JBL slugs away to start but Batista uses the rope to cut him off in about half a second. The rope gets wrapped around JBL’s neck for a few buckle slaps (complete with the lights so you know who has scored) but JBL breaks it up. That earns him some stomping in the corner so JBL has to hit a big clothesline to cut Batista off again.

A poke to the eye and a kick to the head have Batista down in the corner and a cowbell to the head knocks him silly. That’s good for three turnbuckles but Batista pulls him back again, despite laying on the ropes at the time. Maybe JBL needs to hit the gym a bit harder. JBL hits him low with the rope and we take a break.

Back with Batista carrying him on his shoulders for two buckles but it’s broken up again and reset. The Clothesline From JBL is blocked with a forearm and the whipping begins. The Batista Bomb connects and JBL is busted open. Batista doesn’t mind as we get the slow walk around the ring with both of them hitting three buckles. A spinebuster lets Batista get to the fourth buckle for the win.

Rating: D+. What were you expecting from this one? These matches are only going to be so good with the gimmick limiting what they can do. This was almost every version of this that you’ve ever seen with both of them going cutting the other off and then the near tie to end the show. That’s almost all you see here and the lack of drama really hurt things. Not the worst, but really lame for a main event.

An Undertaker vs. Orton video ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The cage match was good and felt like a big moment, but this show came off as underwhelming. They had a lot of matches that felt important but almost none of them lived up to the hype. For a show on a new night, they didn’t exactly treat it like some major change, but at least we had that one good match. It’s not a bad show, but I was expecting a lot more.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 7, 2020
Location: SAP Center, San Jose, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We’re less than three weeks away from Super ShowDown and that means it’s time to line up some major guest starts. We’ll likely start that tonight as Goldberg is here and is going to need a match. I’m not sure who that is going to be but I’m hoping we might get to see him face the Fiend. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at Goldberg returning.

Opening sequence.

Here are Miz and Morrison for the return of the Dirt Sheet. Morrison: “My name is John Morrison. My shirt has buttons but I don’t use them.” In honor of the Academy Awards, we see a clip of Once Upon A Time On The Dirt Sheet, a film which is guaranteed to win all the Slammys (it’s also rated A for AWESOME). We see a trailer featuring various cameos, including Miz’s dad, Lance Storm and Johnny Ace. Basically Miz needs to prove himself again, Morrison is back and the two of them want to show they’re better than New Day. This is all in a Once Upon A Time In Hollywood style and words aren’t doing it justice.

Back in the ring, Morrison talks about how interesting it is that people want to talk to them now that they’re the cool kids again. Cue New Day, with popcorn buckets, to talk about how awesome the trailer was. They saw the amazing athlete in Mr. Miz and your trivia for the night: Kofi is Mr. Miz’s favorite superstar. Kofi: “That’s a shoot.”

It had comedy too, like the idea that Miz and Morrison could win the Tag Team Titles. Cue the Usos to say Miz and Morrison never beat them so welcome to the Uso Penitentiary. That sounds like an interesting match so here are Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode because we were this close to having some fun and that’s not what Ziggler and Roode are all about. Miz and Morrison jump New Day and the match is next.

Usos vs. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode

Well yeah of course it’s this match. What else was it going to be? Roode and Jimmy exchange chops to start until it’s Jey coming in to chop as well. Ziggler gets the tag and hits a dropkick, followed by the Fameasser for two. The Zig Zag/spinebuster combination gets two on Jimmy as Jey makes the save. Jey hits an enziguri and goes up, only to have Ziggler offer a distraction so Jey can get knocked off the top in a crash.

Back from a break with Roode stomping Jey down in the corner but Ziggler gets punched in the face a few times. A kick to the jaw allows the hot tag to Jimmy as the pace picks up. The Samoan drop hits Ziggler and Roode, the latter of whom is right back with a powerslam. Ziggler takes too long loading up the superkick though and it’s Jimmy hitting one to each of them. The Superfly Splash hits knees and Ziggler gets two off a small package. The double superkick hits Roode though and now the Superfly Splash can connect for the pin at 12:33.

Rating: C+. They’re both good teams (or great in the Usos’ case) but the lack of interest that hits as soon as Ziggler’s music hits is astounding. I don’t need to see him do anything else ever again but more importantly, I don’t need to hear anything associated with the Roman Reigns vs. King Corbin feud again and this was a spinoff of that feud, meaning I’m good with not watching them associate in any way.

Nikki Cross and Alexa Bliss are ready for Bliss’ chance to become #1 contender.

We look back at Corbin getting covered with dog food last week.

Corbin storms into the production truck and the out the guy who played the tape. Agents prevent further violence.

Here’s Elias for a song. He’s facing Cesaro tonight and needs all the support he can get, so this song is called Third Time’s The Charm. After two words, here’s Cesaro to cut him off, with Sami Zayn as a bonus. Elias points out that he always gets interrupted but Sami goes on a rant about how Elias laughed when Shinsuke Nakamura lost the Intercontinental Title. Therefore, it’s time to learn a lesson.

Elias vs. Cesaro

Joined in progress with Corey’s microphone not working and Cesaro hammering away against the ropes. A Sami distraction cuts Elias off and we hit the chinlock. An elbow gets two and there’s a gutwrench suplex to keep Elias down. The chinlock goes on again but this time Elias gets up for a jumping knee to the face.

Elias’ top rope elbow is broken up with a running uppercut and the apron superplex gives Cesaro two. Elias gets fired up and stomps away in the corner, which is a lot more offense than you usually see from him. A slam sets up the top rope elbow for the completely clean pin at 7:33.

Rating: D+. Elias is such a weird case as I’m still not sure how he should be used. His character is fine and the songs will keep him around for years, but the wrestling just isn’t there. He can be passable in the ring but that’s about his ceiling, which isn’t going to get him very far. Then there’s Cesaro losing clean and….are you really surprised? Even to Elias?

We’re ready to talk to Goldberg but here’s King Corbin to interrupt. Everyone should respect him because last week was an abomination. Roman Reigns should have lost last week, just like the 49ers lost to his Kansas City Chiefs. Reigns can’t do anything without his lapdogs because the Usos had to bail him out again.

If Reigns was as tough as he says he is, he would have fought one on one at the Royal Rumble. Then Corbin would have won and been the one headlining Wrestlemania. Corbin demands one more match with Reigns and pours a drink over a fan’s head. Cue Reigns with a Superman Punch and Corbin runs off. Reigns accepts the match and they’ll do it in a steel cage at some point. Reigns makes sure to talk to the fan who got the drink on his head.

Goldberg joins us live via satellite from Texas and gets straight to the point: he watched the Royal Rumble and it gave him the itch again. Brock Lesnar is already dealing with Ricochet and Drew McIntyre, but what about the Fiend and the Universal Title? He never got a rematch, so here’s some Breaking News from Firefly Fun House News. William Goldberg is considering challenging the Fiend and that’s bad news for Billy, because he accepts.

Mercy the Buzzard gives us the weather report: it’s going to be a cold day in h*** before the Fiend loses the Universal Title. Goldberg says he won’t be intimidated and the only thing he’s taking is the Universal Title. The Fiend is next and the fans like that idea. Goldberg leaves and Bray says that wasn’t very nice. Let him in. Bray: “Bye! See you Bill! Bye!”

Daniel Bryan is watching in the back when Heath Slater comes in. Slater recaps the Fiend going after Bryan….or maybe it was Miz. Heath reminds Bryan about the beating that he got from the Fiend and rambles on about how evil Fiend is. Bryan offers to face Slater right now and walks off, leaving Heath rather confused.

Video on Bryan vs. Fiend at the Rumble.

Daniel Bryan vs. Heath Slater

Slater is in street clothes. Running knee, suicide dive, missile dropkick, YES Kicks, another running knee, stomps to the head and the LeBell Lock for the win at 1:47. More of an angle of Bryan being more aggressive than the match. Commentary played up the idea of the Fiend changing Bryan.

We look at Braun Strowman winning the Intercontinental Title.

Here’s Strowman for his first comments as champion. He can’t believe this is happening because after everything he has done, he has never won a singles title. Cue Sami Zayn and Shinsuke Nakamura to demand a rematch, Strowman says they’re on but that’s not what Sami means. They’re going to use their resources for as long as they can, so here is the Revival to jump Strowman from behind. The beatdown is on but Strowman fights them off with ease but he spends too much time going after Sami, allowing Nakamura to hit Kinshasa.

Tucker helps Otis get ready for his date with Mandy Rose, including exercise (situps into a bite of pizza), clothing advise (suit jacket with the sleeves ripped off) and table manners, which results in the table being turned over. Tucker: “You’re ready.”

Apollo Crews vs. Sheamus

Crews starts fast with the kicks to the head, only to miss a charge and get Brogue Kicked for the pin at 29 seconds. That’s how it should have gone.

Post match Sheamus loads up another Brogue Kick so here’s Shorty G. for the save. In this case, that means some chops before Sheamus Brogue Kicks him again. See, they needed Gable to get beaten up three times in a row because he’s short and Sheamus is big and WWE doesn’t want to leave ANY doubt about who is better.

Super Showdown rundown, with Reigns vs. Corbin added to the card.

Dana Brooke vs. Carmella vs. Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss

One fall to a finish and the winner gets a shot at Bayley (ringside). Only Naomi gets an entrance and they start fast with a series of rollups, followed by Carmella being taken into the corner. Dana hits the handspring elbow and everyone goes to the floor, leaving Naomi to hit a corkscrew dive. Bayley holds up the title so Naomi shoves her down to trigger a brawl with Naomi being sent into the steps.

Back from a break with Naomi fighting back up and cleaning house, much to Bayley’s annoyance. Bliss is back in to take Naomi down, leaving Carmella to hit the Bronco Buster on Brooke. Naomi is back up with the split legged moonsault as Dana has to make a save. Brooke tries a wheelbarrow to Naomi but gets caught with a Stunner for two.

Naomi’s legdrop gets two on Bliss but she shoves Naomi off the top for two of her own. Brooke gets back on the apron so Naomi suplexes her in and hits the split legdrop for another near fall. Bliss sends Naomi into the corner but Twisted Bliss hits knees. The Rear View hits Bliss but Carmella is back in with a superkick to finish Naomi at 11:43.

Rating: D+. Is this Graves’ February bonus or something? They did a good job of setting up Naomi as the obvious winner before pulling the surprise….but Carmella? Naomi was set up as the next challenger to Bayley last week and now it’s just Carmella due to reasons of surprise. The match was your usual two in, two out for the most part and that has been played out for years. Carmella is the bigger deal here as she may be a fresh challenger, but she isn’t the most logical one.

Bayley jumps Carmella to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was a weird one as I didn’t mind a lot of it but by the ending I was wondering what was supposed to have been good on the show. Goldberg vs. Fiend is interesting for a short, one off match but other than that, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to cheer for. More Reigns vs. Corbin? Carmella getting a surprise title shot? An Elias match? The Dirt Sheet was the highlight of the show and then they were just gone for the sake of Roode and Ziggler. This wasn’t a good show and I kept waiting on the good moment that never came. Hopefully they fix this soon because it didn’t make me want to watch next week.

Results

Usos b. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode – Superfly Splash to Roode

Elias b. Cesaro – Top rope elbow

Daniel Bryan b. Heath Slater – LeBell Lock

Sheamus b. Apollo Crews – Brogue Kick

Carmella b. Naomi, Alexa Bliss and Dana Brooke – Superkick to Naomi

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 1, 2005
Location: Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the last night on Thursday and we have a pesky network boss running around trying to tell Teddy Long how to do his job. This is going to be an interesting show as it is mainly going to exist as a setup for next week’s big edition, meaning I wouldn’t expect too much to happen. Maybe they can surprise me though. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Heidenreich vs. Joey Mercury

Animal, Melina and Johnny Nitro are all here. Heidenreich and Animal clear the ring to start and Mercury’s cheap shot at the bell doesn’t work. They head outside with Heidenreich beating him up even more but Mercury catches him with a neck snap across the top rope to take over. Nitro even gets in a cheap shot so Mercury can drop a knee. We hit the chinlock but Heidenreich is straight back up with the one two combinations. A big boot staggers Mercury and a chokebomb gives Heidenreich the pin.

Rating: D. What else were you expecting? Animal and Heidenreich are the new monsters and there is no reason to have someone as small as Mercury be a serious threat. The tag match itself could be better but they’ve been very smart to keep things quick in these matches. It’s the best thing they could do, even though they haven’t exactly been great.

Post match Animal gets beaten down in the corner but Heidenreich makes the save. Mercury and Nitro have to save Melina from the Doomsday Device and Animal gets sent into the steps. The Snapshot leaves Heidenreich laying.

Here’s Cowboy Bob Orton to introduce his son Randy. After a lot of posing, Randy talks about his dad telling him that he would be the greatest wrestler ever. Eventually, every legend would fall at Randy’s feet and that makes Bob a genius. It’s interesting that no one has ever seen Undertaker has Summerslam because he’s running scared.

That’s why the two of them have signed Undertaker’s new DVD and you can bid on it at WWE.com. The money goes to the Undertaker’s retirement fund and Randy will match it dollar for dollar. Undertaker can even come here in person next week and accept his retirement fund. As for tonight, Randy has Rey Mysterio, who has lied to his son for years. Tomorrow, he’ll have to lie to his son again when his son asks if Rey won his match, because tonight it’s the RKO.

Chris Benoit wants to test his timing again so let’s see how long it takes him to, ahem, relieve himself. Benoit beats the time, though hand washing may not have been included.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan is challenging and we have a clock on screen. Jordan unloads in the corner but gets Crossfaced for the tap at 23.4 seconds. This is great stuff.

Christy Hemme vs. Stacy Keibler

The bell rings but hold on as here’s Sylvain (Grenier) to say the two of them don’t compare to him. Cue Hardcore Holly to say that he doesn’t care about Sylvester because he’s here to see the girls. Sylvain calls him Bobby and gets beaten up.

Teddy Long and Palmer Cannon preview next week’s show and mention that next week’s JBL vs. Batista match will be a bullrope match. As for tonight, JBL has the night off, which is news to Long. Since he doesn’t like the surprise, he has one of his own: next week it’s Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio inside a cage.

Booker T. vs. Ken Kennedy

Christian, with a broken nose, is on commentary and Sharmell is here with Booker. Kennedy isn’t happy with Tony Chimmel’s introduction though, suggesting that he sounds like the adults in a Charlie Brown special. After handling his own introduction, Kennedy asks if you can dig that, earning himself a forearm to the face. Booker jumps him to start and stomps Kennedy down in the corner, which Christian seems to like. A superkick puts Kennedy down for two and a backdrop gets two as it’s one sided so far.

Kennedy misses a spinning kick to the face so he keeps spinning and catches him the second time around. Booker gets sent into the corner as Tazz diagnoses Christian’s thumb injury. Some shots to the face keep Booker in trouble but he’s right back with his own kick to the face. That just earns him a hot shot and a running neckbreaker for two so Booker grabs a spinebuster for another comeback. Hold on though as we need a Spinarooni as Sharmell goes over to yell at Christian. The distraction lets Kennedy catch him on top for the super Regal Roll and the pin.

Rating: C. Egads this Sharmell stuff needs to go far away as it’s just her yelling at people and being annoying. What matters here though is Kennedy getting a much harder push in a hurry. Beating Funaki is the Smackdown version of a participation award and the fans know it, so giving him a win over someone who matters is something that could actually get him somewhere.

Here’s Simon Dean, on his personalized Segway (the Dean Machine), to say that Batista is a Simon System user. It has made him bigger, stronger and faster, but not smarter. Hit the music.

Batista vs. Simon Dean

Non-title. Hold on though as Batista can’t remember trying the Simon System. He’s willing to try it though because he’s into fitness and open minded. Batista tries some and says he feels bigger, stronger….and more aggressive. The big clothesline starts us off and the beating is on in a hurry. Batista hits the spinebuster but stops for more to drink, which makes him shake the rope. The Batista Bomb connects but he grabs the drink and poses with it as he covers Dean with one foot. This gave me a few chuckles and was a different way of using Batista, which is a good idea.

William Regal/Paul Burchill vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Funaki

Fallout from this weekend’s Velocity where Burchill debuted and helped Regal beat Scotty down. Scotty and Regal start things off with Regal’s arm getting worked over. Funaki comes in and monkey flips Burchill, only to miss a charge and get sent head first into the mat. Regal comes back in to suplex Funaki but an armdrag is enough for the tag off to Scotty. Everything breaks down and Regal gets in a cheap shot, setting up a shoulder breaker from Burchill. A Fujiwara armbar makes Scotty tap in a hurry. Burchill looked good in his debut.

We preview next week’s big show.

Eddie Guerrero is standing behind a piece of a cage and very quietly says Rey didn’t just get Eddie’s son. Rey got his whole family because Vickie Guerrero cost Eddie the match. That made Eddie realize something though: she wasn’t just shoving the ladder over to save Rey’s family because she had lost him too. It’s Eddie’s fault though because he had Rey at the edge of defeat so many times and toyed with him. Next week Rey will have to take him on, but how can he beat someone who has already lost everything? This was almost creepy.

Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton

Bob is here with Randy, who starts with some early short jokes. These mesmerize Mysterio so much that Randy can kick him in the ribs and forearm him out to the floor. Back in and a heck of a clothesline drops Mysterio but he’s right back up with a hurricanrana to the floor. This time Mysterio gets to mock Orton a bit by stealing his pose on the ropes. Orton gets back in so Rey hammers away to really rock him for a change.

That’s a little too much for Orton who throws him under the bottom rope and we take a break. Back with Orton holding a standing chinlock of all things before saying Rey is as big as his ten year old brother. Mysterio is back with a dropkick to the knee but Orton hits….a delayed atomic drop. Not exactly a big heel move but Rey sold it sell enough. The chinlock goes on again for a good while, followed by a rake of the boot to the face.

Rey gets in a rollup for a quick two and the sitout bulldog puts Orton down again. Orton’s backbreaker gets a pair of near falls but he dives off the middle rope into the raised boots. As luck would have it, Orton falls into the ropes but gets up before the 619 can connect. Orton uppercuts him from his knees instead, only to run into a boot so Rey can hit the springboard seated senton. A headscissors sets up the 619 but Bob breaks up the West Coast Pop. Randy hits him low and puts Rey on top for a super RKO and the pin.

Rating: C+. This took some time to get going but they’re talented enough that the match was almost always going to be good. Orton winning was hardly a secret but it helps when you have Mysterio out there to do whatever you want from him. Bob is fine for a short term addition but Orton has already been a main eventer on his own and doesn’t exactly need him out there. It’s a good act for now though and as long as it doesn’t drag so long, it should work out.

A promo for the show moving to Fridays ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. The show was fine enough, though not exactly something memorable. One thing I really do like at the moment is that the way that they’re doing short form stuff with some bigger names. Stuff like Batista and Benoit running through people is a good way to get them on television and pop the crowd without wasting anything. It’s a different way of doing things and rather nice for a change. Next week’s show is a big one though and that’s the one that matters.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 31, 2020
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We’re done with the Royal Rumble and since Drew McIntyre won, we need a new #1 contender to the Smackdown World Title. Granted that probably won’t be happening until Elimination Chamber or whatever else is next, but you can almost pencil in Roman Reigns vs. King Corbin in some form for the title shot. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We see the dog food incident again, with Cole saying we’ve seen this “ad nauseum”, as even WWE admits that this feud has gone on WAY too far. Reigns accuses Corbin of having a dog food fetish and offers a stipulation: the loser of the main event eats dog food. A bunch of dog food is wheeled out and Cole suddenly finds the possibility of Corbin eating dog food to be HILARIOUS. It’s almost like he’s suddenly 74 year old man child who is entertained by juvenile ideas.

Heavy Machinery vs. Lucha House Party vs. Miz/John Morrison vs. Revival

The winners get a Tag Team Title shot at Super Showdown and Kalisto is the odd luchador out. Tucker bearhugs Wilder to start and it’s quickly off to Otis, so Tucker throws Wilder to him as the bearhugging continues. That’s broken up and it’s Morrison coming in to get caught with a springboard hurricanrana from Metalik. Revival breaks up a sunset flip for two as everything breaks down.

Heavy Machinery is sent outside for double dives from the House Party, followed by Morrison hitting a huge top rope corkscrew dive. Miz teases his own dive but Dawson cuts them off, allowing Metalik to hit his own dive as we take a break. Back with Dorado hitting a double Golden Rewind on Miz and Morrison and everything breaks down again. Otis hits a double Caterpillar on Miz and Morrison for two but Dawson knocks Otis into a tag from Metalik.

A springboard crossbody from Metalik sets up a top rope splash from Dorado but Otis comes back in to clean house. Dawson DDTs Otis but Dorado slips out of a slingshot suplex. Back to back moonsaults connect but the third is cut off, setting up Wilder’s belly to back superplex on Kalisto. Miz sneaks back in with the Skull Crushing Finale into Starship Pain to Dawson for the pin and the title shot at 11:57.

Rating: C+. They didn’t bother with anything but action here and that made for an entertaining match. There was no reason to do anything more than go all the way with something like this and we even got the logical challengers out of it. The match was fun and that’s as good as they could have done.

Video on Daniel Bryan vs. the Fiend in the strap match. Daniel Bryan thinks he might have gone too far because his wife wouldn’t let his daughter see the scars on his back.

Video on Halftime Heat, twenty one years ago today.

The winners COULD get a future title shot. It’s a brawl before the bell with Sonya getting tied in the ring skirt and Nikki having to be dragged off. Bliss gets knocked into the announcers’ table but says she’s good so the bell can ring. The chinlock goes on before it’s off to Mandy, with Nikki having to be taken out. Bliss forearms her way out of the corner and gets in a hard shot to Sonya. A roll underneath Mandy is enough for the hot tag to Nikki so house can be cleaned. Everything breaks down and the Purge into Twisted Bliss finishes Mandy at 3:28.

Rating: D+. The usual shortened women’s tag here which had little going for it as commentary talked about Otis and Mandy. Therefore, of course it makes sense for Mandy to take the fall here. The two stories aren’t connected, but Mandy is the only one of the four doing something interesting and it’s not like her getting pinned advances anything else. It’s a little thing but why mess with a story that is getting somewhere?

Intercontinental Title: Braun Strowman vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura is defending and has Sami Zayn and Cesaro with him. Strowman shoulders him down to start and hits a running splash in the corner to make it even worse. Sami gets in a cheap shot from the floor though and Nakamura takes over with a front facelock. Some kicks in the corner have Strowman rocked so he blasts his way out with a clothesline.

The running shoulder on the floor has Nakamura down again but Strowman misses a charge. Nakamura kicks him in the head and hits the running knee to the back of the head for two. Sami goes for the turnbuckle pad and Cesaro offers a distraction, only to have Strowman send Nakamura into the buckle instead. The running powerslam gives us a new champion at 4:35.

Rating: D+. It took long enough. Strowman winning a title does feel like a big deal and even though it should have been the World Title and over a year ago, I’ll take what I can get. This actually came off as something important and the fans seemed happy with what they saw. Not much of a match, but Nakamura had held the thing since July and not done a thing with it. I can’t imagine that changes under Strowman, but at least he FINALLY won something that matters.

Post break Sami is livid but Elias is in the ring to interrupt them. Sami tries to rant but Elias keeps interrupting with the guitar. That’s enough as Sami sends Cesaro to the ring to deal with this. Elias beats Cesaro up and stands tall.

Video on Shorty G. vs. Sheamus.

Sheamus vs. Shorty G.

Gable jumps Sheamus from behind on the ramp and we take a break before the bell. We’re joined in progress with Gable fighting out of a chinlock but getting taken to the floor for the Regal Roll. Back in and Sheamus hits a reverse Wasteland but Gable ties him in the ropes and slugs away. The Liger kick in the corner sets up the moonsault for two but Sheamus is right back up. The Irish Curse into the Brogue Kick finishes at 3:49.

Rating: C. Just in case you didn’t get the point on the Kickoff Show. This was the same result as Gable tries hard but can’t overcome the size difference, because we need to hammer home the one thing that the company sees in him. Why or how this is the best thing they can do with him is beyond me but I guess we’re just lucky that way.

Here’s a very happy Bayley to brag about retaining the Women’s Title at the Royal Rumble. You can’t recreate her and she crushed Lacey Evans’ dreams for injuring Sasha Banks and putting her on the shelf. Bayley did all this with Lacey’s daughter Summer in the front row so now she knows what a failure her mom is. If Summer needs a role model, she can sit in the crowd with these idiots and watch Bayley. We all know Charlotte is going to pick her for the title match so just get out here right now.

Cue Naomi instead (now with what looks like a light up bowl around her head during her entrance) to say she can’t help but hear the trash talk around here. Bayley has never beaten her and that title could use some glow. Before the challenge can be on, Bayley drops her with one shot. The belt shot misses though and Naomi hits a springboard kick to the head. This is a fresh challenger with some credibility so good for them.

Usos/Roman Reigns vs. King Corbin/Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler

The losers must eat DOG FOOD, which Cole has repeated about 37 times tonight. Corbin punches Jey down for an early two and a low bridge puts Jey on the floor. Roode, now in long tights, hits a spinebuster on the floor as Cole puts over how bad the dog food smells. We take a break and come back with Roode cranking on Jey’s arms. Jey slips out so Ziggler comes in, only to miss a Stinger Splash in the corner.

Corbin gets the tag and breaks up the hot tag though, allowing him to make Jey look at the dog food. That’s enough to make Jey get over for the hot tag to Reigns as everything breaks down. A big boot connects for Reigns but Corbin is back with a chokeslam for two. Ziggler adds a superkick and it’s the Deep Six for two more on Reigns. Jimmy is back in and sends Roode over the announcers’ table, setting up another dive to Ziggler. Reigns misses the spear but rolls Corbin up for the pin at 9:56.

Rating: C-. Yeah it’s another watchable match but it’s everything else that is making it bad. Between Cole shouting about the dog food over and over and over again and the fact that we’ve seen these people fight for months now and how this was nothing new as far as a six man formula goes, this wasn’t exactly thrilling. It’s fine for a house show stipulation where the kids can laugh, but when you have to hear about it all night long, it’s way too much.

Post match Corbin tries to leave but he gets speared down and handcuffed, meaning he gets chained up like he did to Reigns months ago. The buckets of dog food are poured over him so Reigns and the Usos can pose to end the show. It’s a poetic way to go about things with Corbin, but the feud has gone on for so long now that the impact is really, really weakened. Also it’s not exactly brilliant, cutting edge stuff in the first place.

Overall Rating: D+. So that’s how we start up the Road to Wrestlemania: building to Super Showdown, a Valentine’s Day comedy angle, a Royal Rumble rematch and dog food (plus a title change and a new challenger for the Women’s Title as it did have some good stuff). This could have been a show from any time during the year and I’m not exactly thrilled with how the important season started off. There were some positives here but the negatives were more as it didn’t exactly feel inspired.

Results

Miz/John Morrison b. Heavy Machinery, Revival and Lucha House Party – Starship Pain to Dawson

Braun Strowman b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Running powerslam

Sheamus b. Shorty G. – Brogue Kick

Roman Reigns/Usos b. King Corbin/Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler – Rollup to Corbin

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6