Smackdown
Date: September 5, 2002
Location: Resch Center Arena, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s hard to say what to expect here but hopefully it’s another rocking tag match with some talented people getting to show what they can do instead of jobbing to Undertaker after a former World Champion’s finisher doesn’t have much of an effect. Oh and we get the debut of Crash Holly for reasons I don’t even want to think about. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week, which somehow gets to be narrated by Stephanie. Dang they’re getting right to the point this week. Anyway, Undertaker is challenging Brock Lesnar at Unforgiven.

Opening sequence.

Billy vs. Rey Mysterio

A very early Rico distraction (those sideburns are mesmerizing) lets Billy jump Rey and choke in the corner. The tilt-a-whirl powerslam plants Rey and Tazz makes gay jokes. Rey gets in his first offense with a dropkick to the knee so Billy clotheslines his head off, making sure that Mysterio has nothing of note so far. Rico cheats a bit more so the fans are all over him, making Rico the best thing about the match so far. More shots to the back keep Rey in trouble but a springboard dropkick sets up the 619 with Chuck making the save. That means Billy gets to work Rey over even more until Mysterio gets a fluke cradle for the pin.

Rating: D. So Mysterio can go move for move with Kurt Angle in a classic but can barely get in a dropkick on Billy Gunn of all people? This is almost entirely on Billy as he just wasn’t giving Rey anything to work with and it showed horribly. It’s ok to let Mysterio get in a little offense, get taken down, let the comeback go on for a bit and have the co-villains cheat so Rey can do the big comeback at the end. It’s called having a match with a story but this was all about Billy working Rey over without much effort.

Post match Rico tells Chuck it’s time….and he proposes to Billy because he wants to be tag team partners for life. Note that the word “marry”, “husband” or “I love you” are never mentioned. Billy says yes and hugging ensues.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore

Shannon is challenging after pinning Jamie in some recent tag matches. The battle of wristlockery start things off until Shannon armdrags him down. Nidia grabs a leg but Shannon dropkicks the champ to the floor anyway. Back in and a harder clothesline than you would expect from a cruiserweight match puts Shannon back down and a belly to back gets two.

Of course the fans would rather talk about Nidia’s puppies because Raw featured a match talking about Molly Holly’s hymen, meaning you can’t quite blame them at this point. That’s what WWE has deemed acceptable from its employees so don’t act surprised when no one cares about your matches as a result. Moore elbows him in the jaw and gets a near fall of his own off a neckbreaker. A Whisper in the Wind gets the same but Jamie counters a hurricanrana with a powerbomb. The Tiger Bomb retains the title.

Rating: C+. Good match here but the fans didn’t care because WWE has given us no reason to care about them. Just because there’s good wrestling out there, no one is going to notice because WWE has made us care more about the women at ringside. I’m not sure what it means that Nidia is possibly treated with more respect than the women on Raw but it seems to be the case.

Paul Heyman is hyping Brock Lesnar up for his match with Randy Orton when Randy comes up and says absolutely nothing of note.

Edge and Rikishi are ready for a six man tag later and Rikishi actually tries to explain how the Stinkface is a symbol or something. Piece of the Kish still isn’t a good catchphrase.

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton

Non-title and one of those matches that would be totally different just a few years later. Also Lesnar is now WWE Champion instead of Undisputed Champion as continuity takes another hit for the sake of pulling a title out of a briefcase. Orton charges straight at him and actually gets two off a rollup. That just means an overhead belly to belly though and Brock is already smiling.

Brock throws him over the top and hits an STO back inside. He throws Orton onto his shoulders and drives Randy back first into the buckle over and over as this is a total squash. Heyman: “HE WANTS THIS!” A dropkick to the ribs staggers Lesnar and Orton gets in the backbreaker. For reasons of general stupidity, he heads up top for the high crossbody but gets rolled through into the F5 for the pin.

Rating: C-. Is there something in the water over on Monday Night Raw? You can have Brock roll through people like this on Smackdown but Raw’s big solution is to have him sell for people and need Heyman to save him all the time? Ever since he’s gone to Smackdown he’s been treated like the monster he’s supposed to be and it’s made him a hundred times more interesting.

Mark Henry congratulates Billy and Chuck.

Crash signs his contract and thanks Stephanie when D-Von comes in. The Reverend is upset about Billy and Chuck but again we never heard the word wedding or marriage. He talks about how immoral is it but OF COURSE Stephanie cuts him off for not showing her enough respect. The ceremony is next week, D-Von faces Batista later and just in case you forgot, Stephanie is the most amazing and intimidating person ever.

Tajiri vs. Mark Henry

Tajiri’s kicks and strikes have the effect you would expect them to have and it’s time for the slow beating. The handspring elbow is knocked out of the air and Tajiri’s sunset flip has no effect at all. A running dropkick to the head works a bit better but Henry shrugs it off and powerslams him for the pin.

Rating: D. Hey, did you know that Henry is really strong? Like, REALLY strong? To the point that he can bend frying pans and is barely hurt by someone kicking him really hard in the head? I’m still not sure who is supposed to be impressed by Henry squashing a member of the cruiserweight division, which is often treated as a bunch of second class citizens in the first place.

Stephanie moderates a sitdown interview (in the back without much light) between Undertaker and Lesnar. After making it clear that they’re both EXCLUSIVE to Smackdown, she throws it to Brock who lists off his career accomplishments. Undertaker laughs off the idea of a young pup like Brock beating him because no one has ever taken Brock where Undertaker is taking him. Undertaker promises to beat Brock up for the first time but Heyman makes it personal by bringing up Undertaker’s wife Sara being pregnant.

If anything happens to Undertaker, he’ll take care of Sara but not the unborn child. The table it turned over and nothing happens. This was WAY too long and it really didn’t make me want to see the match any more than I already did. Granted I checked out when Stephanie started talking about how this was a Smackdown exclusive because it might be the least important detail since….oh whatever the name of whatever award/honor Stephanie has most recently won.

Reverend D-Von vs. Batista

Batista has what would be his theme song for years and the red trunks instead of the gray one he had been wearing. D-Von jumps him to start and gets in a quick chair shot, only to take a Batista Bomb for the pin in a minute and a half. The man that pinned John Cena clean last week everyone!

Nidia talks about the wedding next week (using the word for the first time) and asks Jamie if they’ll get married one day. Jamie hugs her and panics.

Matt Hardy brags about going toe to toe with Brock but Shannon isn’t all that impressed. Hardcore Holly, Matt’s opponent tonight, wants to know where the footage of Matt losing has gotten to.

Eddie Guerrero and Kurt Angle are ready for their six man tag tonight. Angle is annoyed at Benoit for costing him the #1 contendership so Benoit comes in and we have a staredown.

Matt Hardy vs. Hardcore Holly

They trade rollups for two to start before opting to just punch each other in the face. Tazz would rather talk about cheese jokes (Wisconsin remember.) as Holly gets two off a belly to back suplex. A backbreaker sets up a belly to back superplex, only to have Matt knock him away and get two off a moonsault press. The Side Effect gets the same but Holly gets two of his own with a powerbomb. Neither finisher can hit so Hardy grabs a rollup, only to be reversed into another one with Holly grabbing the tights for the pin.

Rating: C+. Surprisingly good match here but I’m not sure I get the point of having Matt lose over and over when he’s getting a push with the Shannon Moore stuff. Holly isn’t great but at least he’s good for a watchable match. Matt can play the heck out of these over the top characters with huge egos and that’s what we’re getting with the Mattitude stuff.

Rico doesn’t have time to talk because he has wedding plans to set up. He’s going to be Billy’s best man.

Crash vs. Hurricane

They circle each other to start until Hurricane puts him in a Tree of Woe for a good crotching. The high crossbody gets two on Crash, followed by the Eye of the Hurricane for the same. Holly misses a charge into the post and takes a super swinging neckbreaker (that’s always looked cool) to put both guys down. The chokeslam is countered into a rollup so Crash can impress Stephanie or whatever.

Rating: D+. So now we’re to the point where we’re jobbing talented guys like the Hurricane to validate Stephanie’s investments? This is a situation where it would have been better to just have Crash show up on Smackdown one night and say he changed brands off camera. There was no need to make this a story other than for the sake of more Stephanie vs. Bischoff nonsense.

Edge/Undertaker/Rikishi vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero

These are the six people from the series of matches last weeks if the reasoning isn’t clear. Rikishi and Angle gets things going and I’ll spare you the normal “why is Rikishi here” question. Thankfully it’s quickly off to Undertaker for a big boot but it’s way too early for a chokeslam. Instead Benoit comes in and kicks away in the corner, only to get tossed into the corner for his efforts.

Rikishi comes back in to far too strong of a pop and gives Benoit a sitout Rock Bottom before throwing him into Angle. Edge gets a slightly weaker pop as he goes after Eddie, who takes over off the strength of some double teaming. The heels keep Edge in trouble with the rapid tags and it’s Angle grabbing a chinlock.

An Edgecution gets Edge out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Undertaker to clean house. Rikishi gets in a belly to belly on Angle and superkicks Benoit, leaving Angle to take the Stinkface. Angle and Benoit have a quick collision so Chris puts him in the Crossface. Eddie is furious….and surrounded. The OH NO look on Eddie’s face when he realizes what’s going on is perfect and his trying to chill with Rikishi is even better. The spear sets up Eddie’s face being shoved into the thong, followed by a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C+. If you put Rikishi in some tights or even regular trunks, this doesn’t feel nearly as awkward. They did their thing here with the villains looking slightly more inept than they should. Benoit vs. Angle should be fun but that doesn’t make for the best tag match in the world. Edge has kind of fallen through the cracks in recent weeks and his feud with Eddie needs a boost as they barely interact directly.

Overall Rating: D+. This depends on what you find more important. The wrestling is a little better this week but the booking is atrocious, with things like Crash Holly getting a story, Billy and Chuck’s impending shenanigans, John Cena being sacrificed to D-Von of all people and Hardcore Holly beating Matt Hardy. There’s so much that can be great around here but as usual, WWE seems more interested in doing the least logical and interesting things as possible.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: January 31, 2017
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips, David Otunga

We’re less than nine weeks away from Wrestlemania and most of the interesting things at the Royal Rumble were from the blue brand. John Cena is the new Smackdown World Champion and Randy Orton won the Royal Rumble but there’s a good chance things will change inside the Elimination Chamber in twelve days. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Royal Rumble with a variety of media quotes about the show.

AJ Styles is glaring at the video of Cena posing with the title when the bosses appear on either side of him. He wants his rematch and doesn’t want it inside the Elimination Chamber. As for tonight though, it’s time to start getting ready for the Chamber, which will feature Cena, Styles, the Miz, Baron Corbin, Bray Wyatt and Dean Ambrose. Speaking of Ambrose, he comes in and a main event of Styles vs. Ambrose is set for later tonight.

Here’s John Cena for his first comments as champion. After telling the fans to let him know what they think of him, he praises AJ Styles as an elite athlete and more than just a guy from Atlanta. That brings him to the Elimination Chamber when it’s not time to celebrate because it’s time to fight. That makes Smackdown the place to be and John Cena the man to beat so if you want some, come get some.

Cue Wyatt and Randy Orton with Bray talking about how destiny has brought them here and the title is coming to the Family no matter what. Orton promises to end the vicious cycle at Wrestlemania when the championship will be set free. The Wyatts slowly come to the ring but Luke Harper shows up for the save, which fires Cena up WAY more than you would expect. The Wyatts bail and here’s Shane to make the tag match.

John Cena/Luke Harper vs. Bray Wyatt/Randy Orton

Cena shoves Wyatt around to start and it’s quickly off to Harper vs. Orton with Luke going rather violent. Harper takes Orton to the floor for a belly to back suplex onto the announcers’ table and the fans are WAY into Luke here. Wyatt comes in and Harper immediately backs off for the tag off to Cena. JBL: “This doesn’t bode well for John Cena!” Uh, it’s not that big a deal John. Just pair off appropriately and everything is fine.

Cena gets double teamed in the corner and we take a break. Back with Cena hitting the elevated DDT but getting in a clothesline to put both guys down. Bray comes in and stares Harper down to break up another hot tag attempt. Harper doesn’t mind and comes in anyway to go after Wyatt but Orton saves his buddy from Sister Abigail. That earns Randy a big boot but Harper eats Sister Abigail. The RKO ends Cena at 13:29.

Rating: C+. That’s an interesting ending as the trolling continues with the WWE actually wanting us to believe that Orton vs. Cena will take place at Wrestlemania. Wyatt vs. Harper could be interesting and I’m VERY glad they didn’t have Harper take the pin. In a way, Cena taking the pin made the most sense here as he’s easily able to bounce back no matter what. That’s not always the case with champions but Cena isn’t your normal name.

Carmella vs. Delilah Dawson

James Ellsworth introduces Carmella and JBL describes Dawson as a cross between Rey Mysterio and a Smurf (she has blue hair). Dawson actually gets in a rollup for two until Ellsworth trips her up. The Code of Silence makes Dawson tap at 1:30. Ellsworth is kind of perfect in this role and with the amount of t-shirts he sold, there’s nothing wrong with keeping him around.

Kalisto vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler takes him straight down and drops the big elbow with Kalisto holding his heart. Apollo Crews is watching in the back and Kalisto gets caught in a neckbreaker for two. The superkick ends Kalisto at 2:02.

Ziggler goes for the mask but Crews chases him off.

Naomi and Becky Lynch are ready for Alexa Bliss and Mickie James.

Naomi/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James

Becky chases Bliss off to start and it’s off to Naomi, who misses a charge into the ropes. Alexa hits the knees into the moonsault knees but hurts herself (doesn’t seem serious), allowing the hot tag off to Mickie. The Bexploder gets two on Mickie and everything breaks down as we take a break.

Back with Alexa holding Becky in a chinlock until it’s off to Mickie for one of her own. Becky kicks Alexa away and the hot tag brings in Naomi for a springboard clothesline. The dancing kicks and a faceplant get two on Alexa as Becky and Mickie fight to the floor. An enziguri and the split legged moonsault put Alexa away at 11:03.

Rating: C. I’m not wild on the two champions taking falls here but at least this one helps set up a title match. Coming into this feud I never would have thought Naomi would have a real shot at winning the title but they’ve got me thinking it could happen, which says quite a bit. This serves its purpose well and that’s all that matters.

American Alpha wants some competition so they’re going to issue an open challenge for the titles.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: American Alpha vs. Usos

American Alpha is defending and JBL says this is going to be great, despite Alpha pinning the Usos in 34 seconds at one point. Actually hang on a second as the Ascension, the Vaudevillains, Breezango and Heath Slater/Rhyno all come out and turn it into a huge brawl. Referees come out as well and we take a break with no bell. Back with the brawl still going on and no semblance of order whatsoever. Slater and Rhyno and Alpha are the only teams left in the ring and Alpha’s music plays with no match actually announced.

We look back at Nikki Bella and Natalya getting in a fight last week.

Daniel Bryan is on the phone with Brie when Natalya and her security come in. Natalya wants to talk about her new merchandise but Nikki comes in and interrupts. Daniel has enough and makes a match between the women at Elimination Chamber.

Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles

Non-title with Miz on commentary. Dean snaps off some armdrags to start and headlocks AJ to the mat. We hit a Texas cloverleaf of all things before Dean shifts it over to something like the Rings of Saturn. They head outside with Styles sending him into the announcers’ table but Dean stomps him down in the corner to take over again.

Dean loads up a dive to the floor but here’s Baron Corbin for a distraction as we take a break. Back with Corbin on commentary as well as Styles gets two off a pumphandle gutbuster. Dirty Deeds is broken up by AJ’s rush of strikes (which Mauro dubs the Phenomenal Blitz) to put both guys down. AJ’s rack neckbreaker is countered and Styles is knocked out to the floor.

The suicide dive is broken up by a forearm to the head and they trade some hot near falls, including one off the fireman’s carry into a backbreaker. The rebound lariat puts AJ down but Dean doesn’t cover. The top rope elbow on the floor has Styles in even more trouble as Corbin and Miz get in a brawl. That’s not cool with Dean who baseball slides Corbin down, setting up the Styles Clash to put Dean away at 18:39.

Rating: B-. DANG this is a bad night for champions. Ambrose was a bit hotter than usual here and that made for a good match. I could have gone for a DQ or countout finish here though as you don’t need yet another champion getting beat but this is about as good as you can get given the way the booking is going. I get the idea of AJ needing a win and since the Chamber has four heels, there was nothing else that could have been done.

Miz gives Ambrose the Skull Crushing Finale but Corbin gives Miz and Dean the End of Days to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t the best Smackdown but I think a lot of that is due to how fast everything goes on a major pay per view weekend. If you watched Takeover, this brought us up to over thirteen hours of wrestling in four days, which is a little more than most fans can take. On top of that they have two weeks to set up a pay per view card and that’s just hard to do in general. Not a bad show but the company could use a breather at the moment.

Results

Bray Wyatt/Randy Orton b. John Cena/Luke Harper – RKO to Cena

Carmella b. Delilah Dawson – Code of Silence

Dolph Ziggler b. Kalisto – Superkick

Naomi/Becky Lynch b. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James – Split legged moonsault to Bliss

AJ Styles b. Dean Ambrose – Styles Clash

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: August 29, 2002
Location: Mohegan Sun Hotel and Casino, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past Summerslam and Smackdown now has their own World Champion as Stephanie (cue the chorus) has signed Brock Lesnar to an exclusive deal. How exactly she can do this isn’t clear but my guess is SHE’S STEPHANIE MCMAHON AND SPOKE IN A LOUD VOICE because that renders everyone powerless. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick look at Lesnar winning the title.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Stephanie to open us up (of course) and she’s already bragging about how awesome Smackdown is because of Lesnar. Since Eric Bischoff’s #1 contenders match means nothing, we’re going to have a series of single elimination matches to crown a new #1 contender. She brings out Edge (Stephanie: “WOO! I’ll scream if I want it.”) and Eddie Guerrero but doesn’t make it clear if this is a tournament or gauntlet or something else.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Eddie fires off right hands but walks into a flapjack, followed by the half nelson facebuster. Edge charges into an elbow in the corner and Eddie starts back in on the arm. Careful Eddie: you might make him spear you with no consequences again. With nothing else working, Edge suplexes him over the top for a good looking crash, followed by a slightly less good looking dive.

Back in and Eddie grabs a superplex as Cole says the winner of this series of matches gets the title shot. Again: more details on what that means would be nice but we’re not likely to get them are we? Edge comes back with a powerbomb of all things and both guys are down. The Edge-O-Matic gets two but Eddie slips out of the Edgecution and grabs a couple of chairs. Ever the schnook, the referee takes one of them out, allowing Eddie to block a spear with the other one. The frog splash puts Edge away and advances Eddie to….whatever the next step of this thing is.

Rating: B-. You know these two are going to have good matches together and this being kept shorter made for a tighter match. Edge is benefiting greatly from having matches against guys like Eddie and Benoit as he’s getting much sharper in the ring. That’s the kind of thing that is always going to benefit young wrestlers and can’t be overstated.

Matt Hardy asks Stephanie if he’s next to face Eddie but she announces Rikishi as Eddie’s next opponent. So it’s a gauntlet?

John Cena vs. Reverend D-Von

No Batista this week. D-Von throws his coat at Cena to start and hammers away before grabbing a neckbreaker for no cover. A suplex and powerslam give D-Von two and he cuts off Cena’s comeback with the spinning elbow to the jaw. The flying headbutt misses but D-Von grabs the inverted reverse DDT for the completely clean pin.

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of that? D-Von can’t even cheat to beat someone with Cena’s potential? This was cutting Cena’s leg off and leaving him with little to do for the sake of giving D-Von a clean pin. That’s one of the more confusing booking decisions I’ve seen in a long time and I really don’t get it.

Batista comes in and lays D-Von out with a Batista Bomb (which Cole calls a gutwrench powerbomb). Soooooo……that’s why Cena lost? To set up Batista vs. D-Von? Really?

Rey Mysterio vs. Rico

Mysterio starts fast and sends Rico outside, followed by a dive onto Billy and Chuck. The innocent bystanders are sent to the back for no apparent reason, leaving Rico to start firing off kicks. A sitout powerslam of all things plants Rey as Rico is getting to show off for the first time in WWE. Two Amigos into a Falcon Arrow (a type of powerbomb according to Tazz) gets two more and there’s another powerslam. Rico misses a VERY long moonsault and Rey starts his comeback with the usual. A double springboard moonsault gives Rey two and it’s the 619 into the West Coast Pop for the pin.

Rating: B-. I’m one of the bigger Rico fans you’ll ever meet and this is more proof that they wasted a lot of potential with him. I watched him in OVW and was far more impressed by him than Cena as Rico just got it so much faster. He had the look, the in ring work and the work ethic but he got stuck with this horrible gimmick and that’s all he’s remembered for doing.

Hardcore Holly is turned down for a spot in the #1 contender series in favor of Stephanie answering a phone call.

Video on Chris Benoit.

Here’s the Smackdown Your Vote video from Raw.

Stephanie is trying to get someone to jump to Raw when Matt comes in to ask for a spot in the series again, eventually cutting off her call to get an answer. He gets Brock Lesnar instead. I do love the fact that the story of the show is “let’s all beg Stephanie for favors”.

Rikishi wants a rematch with Lesnar and tries to get “piece of the Kish” over as a catchphrase. Eddie comes in to laugh at him and suggests the thong is on too tight.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rikishi

Rikishi starts fast but can’t get the Stinkface. Eddie goes after the knee and kicks it into the steps before kicking at it even more back inside. We hit the leglock for a bit with Eddie very slowly cranking away. Rikishi fights up, crushes Eddie in the corner, and finishes him with a superkick (with the bad leg).

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as Rikishi’s odd push WAY above his level of importance continues. For the life of me I don’t get why he’s getting pushed like this but I guess they don’t have anyone else to go with here. It’s not like Matt Hardy or anyone is right there for the same spot.

Chris Benoit runs in to help with a beatdown on Rikishi but Edge makes the save.

Here’s a video mocking Major League Baseball’s strike.

Stephanie rips into Benoit for attacking Rikishi and punishes him by….giving him a match with the injured Rikishi. So she’s loud, basically a heel, and really stupid too.

Tajiri vs. Shannon Moore

Jamie Noble, Nidia and Hurricane are at ringside as well. They start fast with Shannon grabbing a quick rollup for two, earning himself a hard kick to the back. A chinlock doesn’t go anywhere so Tajiri puts him in a reverse Tree of Woe for a baseball slide to the back of the head. It’s off to a cobra clutch for a bit until Moore fights up and gets two off a running neckbreaker. One heck of a German suplex gives Tajiri two and it’s time for the seconds to get in a fight. Moore grabs a rollup for the upset.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match but well done at building up a challenger for Noble. The division is hardly the best in the world but they’re putting a few things together, which is better than you would expect. At least Moore is a fresh name and that’s a good sign. I mean, none of it matters as soon as Mysterio goes after the title but I like it better than just having Noble sit on the belt for months.

Rikishi vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit stomps him down in the corner to start but a Samoan drop gets Rikishi out of trouble. It seems to hurt his shoulder though and there’s the Crossface. A rope grab only sets up a second Crossface and Rikishi is done. Yeah Stephanie! You show Benoit by giving him a two and a half minute match against an injured opponent! Benoit is now going on to the final match in the series.

Kurt Angle apologizes to the other six dwarfs for beating Mysterio at Summerslam. He’s going to be Benoit’s opponent in the final match. The crowd sounds VERY interested at the idea of Angle vs. Lesnar.

Funaki wants to interview Brock Lesnar but Paul Heyman will have none of that. Matt Hardy comes up instead and says he’ll take Lesnar out. From here on, it’s WWE Mattitude.

Brock Lesnar vs. Matt Hardy

Non-title and Brock isn’t wasting time here as he takes Hardy outside and sends him back first into the post. Back in and we hit the shoulders to the ribs, followed by the overhead belly to belly suplex. Matt makes a quick comeback and posts Lesnar, followed by a dropkick to send him into the corner. That’s about it though as the Twist of Fate is countered into the F5 for the pin.

Rating: C. See, now this made him look like a force. This was the kind of squash that Lesnar hasn’t had enough of in his brief run and it made him look like a monster. It’s a pin over someone with some credibility who can sell the heck out of the F5. Good match here and Matt can bounce back with a few funny promos, especially after getting beaten by someone he had no business beating.

Brock isn’t done and powerbombs the heck out of Matt.

Whoever Stephanie was talking to has signed with Smackdown. They’ll be debuting in the main event, which is now a triple threat. Did you know Stephanie was all powerful?

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker

One more Stephanie cameo as she introduces Undertaker, which actually does make sense here as this is a major moment. It’s seeing her all the other time that it’s not necessary. Undertaker shrugs off some double teaming to start (duh) but misses a big boot and crotches himself on the ropes. A few kicks to the leg put Undertaker on the floor, leaving Benoit and Angle to do exactly what you would expect Benoit and Angle to do.

Kurt snaps off some German suplexes but Benoit comes right back with a few of his own. Benoit whips him into the corner and flips Angle over with a release German suplex, only to have Undertaker dive back in for the save at two. Angle is sent outside and it’s time for more chairs, one of which goes square onto Undertaker’s head. Not that it matters as he’s back on his feet about thirty seconds later so Benoit grabs a German suplex. That’s no sold as well as Undertaker gets in a chokeslam, only to have Angle make the save with the ankle lock.

Kurt gets sent to the floor so Benoit puts on the Crossface with Angle coming back in for an ankle lock at the same time. That’s not enough for a tap so Benoit and Angle trade submissions, thankfully with Undertaker actually staying down for a good while off the double submission. Benoit kicks off the ankle lock to send Kurt into a botched rollup for no count. The Angle Slam drops Undertaker again but he’s back to his feet ELEVEN SECONDS LATER for the Last Ride and pin on Benoit.

Rating: B. I criticized Edge’s non-selling against Eddie at Summerslam but this was a good bit worse. You don’t take a double submission from two former World Champions and then no sell another finisher by being up in about ten seconds. If you just have to give Undertaker the title shot (and who better to give it to than a guy who beat TEST on Sunday and then lost on Monday), there are better ways to do it. Like, have Undertaker sell some stuff.

The problem is this match was all backwards. Angle and Benoit wrestled like a pair of faces with all the effort and speed while Undertaker just snuck in and stole the pin. Undertaker did sell earlier in the match but then just turned it off and won the match like Benoit was nothing in the end. Then again, Stephanie is their boss so the whole face/heel dynamic is screwed up on Smackdown in general.

Overall Rating: C. This is a very hard to rate show as the wrestling was mostly fine but the Stephanie stuff is just excruciating. It really does feel like she’s the main character of the show and we’re just stuck sitting around waiting to see what HUGE move she makes next and how she’s trying to screw Raw over next while yelling at any wrestler, often for doing what she says. She’s really taking a lot of the fun away from what could be a great show and that’s very bad.

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Smackdown
Date: January 24, 2017
Location: Huntington Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips, David Otunga

It’s the final show before the Royal Rumble and that means we might be in for a few more announcements for the big battle royal. At the moment, twenty one names have been announced and most of them are from Monday Night Raw. A few more Smackdown names wouldn’t hurt anything and could be on the way tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with Miz complaining to Daniel Bryan that he and Maryse don’t have their own private dressing room. Miz wants to know what will be done for someone with his star power so Bryan offers to curtain off a stall in the men’s room. Bryan gives him a better offer: a rematch for the Intercontinental Title against Dean Ambrose. Miz suggests a No DQ match but Bryan thinks a lumberjack match would be better.

We get a long recap on Randy Orton joining the Wyatt Family and the team’s issues since.

Randy Orton vs. Luke Harper

Bray is sitting in his rocking chair and stoically looking ahead. Orton elbows Harper in the jaw to start and they head outside for nothing in particular. Back in and Orton kicks him in the face to set up the elevated DDT. Harper’s neck seems to be a bit banged up as they head outside again with Luke kicking Orton in the face.

Bray throws both of them back inside and it’s off to a break. Back with Orton fighting out of a chinlock and scoring with a superplex. Harper grabs his Michinoku Driver and kicks Orton in the face for two, drawing a smile from Bray. Orton gets two off a rollup so Harper tries the discus lariat, only to get caught in the RKO for the pin at 9:50.

Rating: C. This was much more about the angle than the match and I don’t think there was much of a surprise with Orton winning. Harper is a talented guy but he has no business going over someone on Orton’s level at this point. I wouldn’t mind if Harper went out on his own but it didn’t go all that well in the first try and he’s about the same as he was back then.

Post match Wyatt gives Harper Sister Abigail. The announcers aren’t sure if Harper is out of the Family or if it was just tough love.

Recap of last week’s cage match and Mickie James being revealed as La Luchadora.

Renee Young brings out Mickie James to explain her actions from last week. She reads off her resume but Renee says that isn’t enough. Mickie doesn’t like having to explain herself because this Divas Revolution is nonsense. The only person that sees things the right way is Alexa Bliss, who has been fighting against the Revolution since it started. Becky Lynch is nothing special and Mickie would love to fight her anytime. Cue Becky to chase Mickie into the crowd but Alexa jumps her to start the double beatdown.

Last week, Carmella took James Ellsworth on a shopping spree. James wasn’t sure about the prices but Carmella insists. First up: pants. Ellsworth starts with jeans but Carmella isn’t happy. Various other goofy outfits ensue so Carmella finally takes over with the help of Dante the fashion guy. Eventually it’s decided to make him into someone who belongs on Jersey Shore and that’s it.

Battle Royal

Heath Slater, Rhyno, Tyler Breeze, Fandango, Simon Gotch, Aiden English, Konnor, Viktor, Mojo Rawley, Curt Hawkins

The winner is in the Rumble and Baron Corbin is on commentary. English and Gotch are out in the first five seconds and Mojo punches Hawkins out next. Slater and Viktor get rid of each other, followed by Mojo helping to get rid of Rhyno and Konnor. Mojo superkicks Fandango out and backdrops Breeze to the floor for the win at 3:15.

Rating: D. This wasn’t much but they kept it quick enough that it couldn’t cause any problems. Rawley is in a weird spot at the moment as he hasn’t done any real singles work in a long time so it’s not the worst idea to let him establish himself a little bit here. The match was so short that it’s hard to complain so I’ll spare you any issues with a three minute battle royal.

Nikki Bella was walking into the arena earlier when she explained that she and John Cena just happened to be next to her on the side of the production truck. Natalya comes up and lays Nikki out.

Here’s AJ Styles to call out John Cena. Before he gets there though, he has an issue with the Royal Rumble poster. Cena is up near the front and Styles is almost in the back of a big group shot. Now it’s Cena, who looks to have some new gear. Earlier this week, Styles turned on the Today Show and saw Cena as guest host. Cena talked about facing some guy from Atlanta and the incredibly marky host is confident Cena will win. AJ doesn’t like being referred to as just some guy and says no one has missed Cena.

John is a sorry excuse for a wrestler so Cena finally goes on a rant about how he’s been around for ten years while AJ has only been hot for six months. AJ might have been great on the indies but Cena was built for WWE and gets more done in one day than AJ does in a year. If Styles is so mad about the poster, learn how to Photoshop. AJ is just like everyone else: wanting to be Cena when he just can’t do it.

Kalisto vs. Dolph Ziggler

The superkick ends Kalisto in 48 seconds.

Post match Ziggler grabs a chair but JBL stands up, allowing Apollo Crews to really chase Ziggler off.

Naomi vs. Natalya

No match as Nikki attacks Natalya in the back.

Naomi says she wants to fight someone so here’s Alexa….to says he won’t do it either.

Dean Ambrose says there aren’t enough lumberjacks in the world to stop him from beating Miz tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose is defending in the Rumble. Dean threatens Dirty Deeds to send Miz outside and the lumberjacks pummel him. That’s only good for two though and we take an early break. Back with Miz sending Dean to the floor a few times, followed by the YES Kicks. Dean comes back with the top rope elbow for two and it’s time for the lumberjacks to beat on Miz even more.

Back in and Maryse grabs Dean’s leg, setting up a running knee ala Daniel Bryan (JBL says that’s how Bryan won the title at Wrestlemania because JBL isn’t as smart as he thinks) for two more. Miz is sent to the floor again and Dean dives on the big pile. The fans think this is awesome as Dean hits the rebound lariat for two, only to have everyone come in for…..absolutely nothing because ten guys coming in and attacking both wrestlers isn’t a DQ. Dirty Deeds ends Miz at 12:15.

Rating: C+. While I’m not sure this was awesome, I’m sure that the ending didn’t make a lot of sense. Like, you can’t do a no contest when ALL THE LUMBERJACKS come in at once? It’s really that important to have Ambrose pin Miz here? Anyway, the match was fine as these two have chemistry together and that’s all that matters.

Ambrose poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t Smackdown’s best work as it seems that they’re getting ready for everything besides the Rumble. Now in a way I can get that idea as there’s only so much hype you can do for a battle royal when your roster doesn’t even comprise a third of the lineup and none of your entrants have any real chance. Still though, they did the best with what they had and that’s fine enough.

Results

Randy Orton b. Luke Harper – RKO

Mojo Rawley won a battle royal last eliminating Tyler Breeze

Dolph Ziggler b. Kalisto – Superkick

Dean Ambrose b. Miz – Dirty Deeds

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: August 22, 2002
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and the show is finally starting to pick up some steam. The midcard is still in need of some work and thankfully that’s where Smackdown shines. Hopefully they don’t spend all night talking about Lesnar vs. Rock as Monday handled most of the remaining necessary build. A promo or two would be fine but it doesn’t need to be much more than that. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are Lesnar and Paul Heyman to get things going. Heyman talks about Rock’s Hollywood star power but is really talking about how big of a star Hollywood Hogan used to be. Even in WWE’s wildest dreams, I don’t think Hogan was ever the #1 box office star in entertainment. Anyway, the fate Hogan suffered is the same thing waiting for Rock at Lesnar’s hands. Brock is all fired up and feels the same he did as the night he fought Hulk Hogan.

Cue Rock to say he’s tired of listening to Brock so tonight will be a night like no other. There are no catchphrases tonight because Rock is bringing it to Lesnar (good for a ROAR from the crowd). Rock is ready to fight right now but Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero jump him, meaning it’s time for the Crossface with Lesnar adding trash talk.

Back from a break and Benoit/Guerrero attack Edge as well. I smell a tag match.

Tajiri/Jamie Noble vs. Hurricane/Shannon Moore

Moore and Tajiri flip around to start as Cole actually does a good job of explaining how stacked this match is. Hurricane comes in with a high crossbody and a Shining Wizard for two on Noble. Nidia distracts Moore though and Tajiri kicks his head off, which Tazz says probably saved Moore from some disease. A chinlock keeps Moore in trouble until the hot tag brings in Hurricane to clean house. The chokeslam doesn’t work and a Samoan drop/neckbreaker combo gets two on Jamie and one heck of a chokeslam plants Tajiri. Shannon sunset flips Jamie for the pin.

Rating: C+. The division is really starting to pick up and that’s the best thing that could happen for the title picture. Throw in Rey Mysterio as the title’s overlord and everything should be just fine. I’m digging these matches more and more every single week and I really wouldn’t have bet on that a few months back.

Matt Hardy comes out to pose with Moore and Hurricane, who have to put him on their shoulders for some reason.

Stephanie yells at Benoit and Guerrero for beating Rock up because that’s what Stephanie does. Benoit brings up Stephanie telling him to hurt Rock last week. Stephanie: “BACK OFF!” This turns into another Stephanie diatribe that makes NO sense because Stephanie changes positions every single week. Oh and Eddie is in trouble for attacking Edge but before Stephanie can collect some Latino balls, Edge jumps Eddie with a chair. A tag match is made for later with the two horrible employees vs. Edge/Rock.

Matt brags about his reaction and it has nothing to do with them being in North Carolina. He goes out again and gets another big pop because there’s nothing scheduled to be taking place at all right now. Matt comes out and poses but Chavo Guerrero interrupts and calls Matt a white boy. That means a match.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Matt Hardy

Chavo sends him outside to start before grabbing an Octopus Hold of all things. Matt powers out and we get a pinfall reversal sequence for some near falls. A double clothesline drops both guys before Chavo dives into the Side Effect for two. Matt loads up the Twist of Fate but the Kane music and pyro distract him enough so Chavo can grab a rollup for the pin. Cole: “Chavo pins Matt in his hometown area!”

Rating: D+. I’m liking the new Matt character and I’m glad they’re running with him as a heel after the whole turn on Jeff but the Kane stuff is getting annoying. Chavo is still fine in the ring but he’s not the most interesting wrestler in the world. There’s just something about him that sucks the charisma out of the room and I’m sure being Eddie’s nephew didn’t help in that area.

Matt says the explosion should have been a stoppage due to the Earl Hebner doctrine of not being able to get screwed near your own hometown. I chuckled.

Funaki goes into the women’s locker room where Nidia is getting changed and likes the attention. Molly Holly panics of course and a culture clash ensues. Nidia promises to flash the crowd if she wins the title tonight.

Rey Mysterio is ready for Summerslam when Kurt Angle cuts him off with a smirk. Kurt says Rey can sit back in his booster chair tonight and watch Angle vs. Billy Kidman (that could be really, really good) as a Summerslam preview. Oh and if Rey shows up, it’s a broken freaking ankle.

Kurt Angle vs. Billy Kidman

Angle knocks him to the apron to start but a hurricanrana sends Kurt into the corner. Why Kidman thought that was a good idea isn’t clear as Angle rolls the German suplexes, only to have Rey pop out of the stage. After teasing a chase to go after the masked man, Angle comes back in and stomps Kidman like he stole something.

An ankle scissors sends Angle outside where he gets mad at a fan for wearing a Mysterio mask. I can always go for a paranoid Angle. Kidman is smart enough to go up top for a big dive to the floor. A good looking DDT gets two more on Kurt but Kidman makes the mistake of going up for the Shooting Star, allowing Angle to run the corner for the superplex.

The Angle Slam doesn’t work and there goes the referee off a missed clothesline. Angle’s chair is dropkicked into his face for a close two but he grabs the Angle Slam. With the referee still down, Rey comes in with a top rope seated senton, which causes the chase into the countout to give Kidman the fluke win.

Rating: B. Kidman was so underrated in the ring as he could put on a performance like this but the best he could ever do was a midcard act. Ok so he married Torrie Wilson but does that really make up for everything else? One thing I’ve always loved about Angle is how he would fight anyone at any level on the roster. This was a great rub for Kidman who got to hang with Angle for the better part of ten minutes. That helps someone else and builds up another story without hurting Kidman at all. You don’t see that out of enough veterans.

Angle beats Kidman up post match.

Brock training video.

Rock is getting his ribs looked at when Edge comes in to talk about the tag match. The injury doesn’t matter because Rock will fight even if he doesn’t have any limbs left.

John Cena/Rikishi vs. Reverend D-Von/Batista

D-Von hammers Cena down to start as revenge for John beating him on Velocity last week. Rikishi comes in and the threat of sitting on D-Von’s chest scares the Reverend a bit. An angry tag brings in Batista for that hard clothesline as he seems to be trying to prove himself to the boss.

A Samoan drop gives Batista two but everything breaks down. D-Von breaks up a Stinkface but gets DDT’ed for his efforts. Now it’s D-Von taking the Stinkface but Batista makes a save, allowing D-Von’s reverse inverted DDT to plant Cena. For some reason Batista and D-Von get in an argument with Big Dave spinebustering him. The Rump Shaker is good for the pin.

Rating: D. The sooner they get Batista away from D-Von for good, the better it is for everyone. Batista has a lot of potential and no one cares about D-Von in this dead end gimmick. Speaking of dead ends, Cena seems to have hit one but to be fair a lot of that is probably due to teaming with Rikishi.

Nidia flashes an old, overweight guy who I don’t believe works for this company.

Women’s Title: Nidia vs. Molly Holly

Molly is defending and Nidia spins out of a wristlock to start. This is little more than a backdrop for Tazz to talk about the potential flashing, making him a low rent Jerry Lawler. Nidia gets two off a backslide but Molly drops her face first onto the top turnbuckle. Molly grabs a reverse chinlock but gets small packaged for two. The handspring elbow misses though and Nidia gets two off a DDT. Molly is sat on top but kicks both rednecks away, setting up the Molly Go Round to retain.

Rating: C. Given where Nidia was at this point in her career, this was just a step beneath a miracle. She looked like a rookie but a very competent rookie, which puts her miles ahead of Jackie and Linda. It’s not a great or memorable match but Nidia looked like she was told what to do and then went out and did it, which is a good sign for her career.

Jamie tells Nidia to flash the crowd anyway but Molly dropkicks him into her. Why this stops the flashing from occurring after Molly leaves isn’t clear.

Here’s Stephanie for a chat because we’re just that lucky. She thanks the Smackdown fans and plugs Summerslam with “YOUR VERY OWN SMACKDOWN SUPERSTARS”. So….do we get in trouble for watching Raw? Could it make Stephanie yell at us for not having enough loyalty to her mission?

Video on Summerslam’s card, which really is stacked.

Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero vs. The Rock/Edge

Edge charges into the ring and the brawl is on in a hurry as Rock sprints out to get us going. We officially start with Eddie vs. Edge with Guerrero taking over in the corner and handing it off to Benoit. The flapjack gets two on Chris but it’s right back to Eddie to keep Edge in trouble. The beating continues with Benoit getting to pick him apart with some kicks to the ribs.

A double clothesline drops Eddie and Edge and the hot tag brings in Rock. Benoit is quickly caught in the Sharpshooter but Eddie makes the save, only to eat a spinebuster. That means the People’s Elbow but Benoit is there for another save. Now it’s Rock’s turn to take a beating with Benoit and Guerrero taking turns stomping on the banged up ribs. Benoit knocks Edge off the apron and grabs the Crossface.

Rock is quickly fading as Eddie pulls the rope away, only to hold the arm up before the third drop. The rope is grabbed so Eddie loads up the frog splash with Edge making a quick save. A diving tag brings Edge in for the running clotheslines as are his customs. Everything breaks down again and Edge spears Eddie down for the pin.

Rating: B+. Sometimes you need a hot tag match to end the show and that’s what we got here. Edge is clearly on the rise and only needs a few more big wins to break through the ceiling to the main event. Matches like this where he gets to rub elbows with the Rock and pin someone like Eddie is only going to boost him there.

Post match Brock comes in and Rock asks Edge to step aside. The brawl is on and Rock punches him out to the floor with Brock jumping over the ropes with no hands. Heyman holds Brock back to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Above all else, I’m ready for Summerslam and that’s exactly the point of this show. The hot main event helped a lot and that’s all it needed to do here. Ignoring Stephanie’s WE ARE SMACKDOWN AND HEAR US ROAR nonsense, this show did a lot of things right and only had a few missteps, which is far better than what Raw does one week to the next. Summerslam needs to rock though and I have a feeling that’s going to be the case.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: January 17, 2017
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

I know I say this every week but it’s a stacked show again with Alexa Bliss defending the Women’s Title against Becky Lynch in a cage match to prevent interference from La Luchadora. Other than that we have the King’s Court with Jerry Lawler and Shane McMahon opening the show with a major announcement. Let’s get to it.

Quick preview of tonight’s show.

Here’s Shane to get us going with his major announcement. He gets straight to the point: in four weeks, the Smackdown World Title will be defended inside the Elimination Chamber with the winner going on to “Wrestlemania XXXIII” for the big title defense. This brings out champion AJ Styles to say that Shane is ruining Smackdown. Styles threatens to take the title back to Japan instead of fighting inside the Chamber but Shane brings up the idea that Cena will tie Ric Flair’s record at the Rumble.

Cue Cena but Styles cuts him off because Cena doesn’t get to say anything when his brother in law hands him title shots. This brings out the Miz and Maryse with Miz saying this is his time to kick 2017 off as only he can. Miz makes fun of the normal things people make fun of AJ for (Cena: “Sounds like he’s trying to get to you AJ.”) so Styles says Miz probably wrestles with a limp. AJ: “We can ask Maryse about that.” Cena: “OOOOOOH!!!!” Cena gets them riled up enough to make the match happen next.

Back from a break with Shane running into Dean Ambrose, who wants in the Chamber. They’ll talk about that later though because Dean wants a new belt which doesn’t smell like cocoa butter. Shane can’t do that but he’ll give Dean the opponent he wants tonight: Randy Orton.

AJ Styles vs. The Miz

Non-title with Cena on commentary. They actually fight over a test of strength to start until AJ does the drop down into the dropkick so he can pose at Cena. A knee to the ribs cuts AJ off but he gets in a low Phenomenal Forearm. Maryse offers a distraction though and AJ gets kicked to the floor as we take a break. Back with Miz escaping the Styles Clash and hitting a snap DDT for two. Styles heads to the floor and gets into it with Cena, drawing the DQ at 10:45.

Rating: B-. This was good while it lasted and the ending was just about the only way they could go. You can almost guarantee that all three will be inside the Chamber and that’s a good thing. I’m not sure who comes out of the next three pay per views with the title but it could make for some interesting stories.

Cena lays both of them out and holds up the title.

Here’s Nikki Bella to call out Natalya, who is in the crowd for some reason. Natalya has something for us to see and goes back through the curtain to a conveniently placed merchandise stand. Natalya rants about how Nikki and Cena’s merchandise is next to each other. Why isn’t there a Natalya shirt there when there’s a Bret Hart shirt? It’s appropriate though because Nikki and Bret are going to die old and alone. Nikki FINALLY gets back there for the pull apart brawl.

Alexa Bliss is ready for the cage match.

Kurt Angle Hall of Fame video.

Dean Ambrose vs. Randy Orton

Non-title. Dean starts fast and slugs Orton down to the floor, giving us the big staredown from the middle rope. Back in and Ambrose headlocks him down, only to get draped ribs first across the top rope. The Wyatts suggest keeping it at Orton’s pace as he grabs a chinlock to keep things slow. Orton gets bored of the slow pace and sends Dean outside for a trip over the announcers’ table.

Back from a break with Ambrose fighting out of another chinlock and hitting a running forearm. Neither finisher can hit and the rebound lariat gets two for Dean. The elevated DDT is broken up so Dean can dive onto Harper but the distraction lets Orton get in the DDT. For reasons of storyline convenience, Harper gets on the apron and the distraction sets up the rollup pin on Orton at 13:42.

Rating: B. I’m looking forward to where this is going though I’m not sure who winds up turning out of all this. I can’t imagine Harper as a face no matter what but I’m not sure where that leaves Wyatt and Orton, as you would expect to see them fight at Wrestlemania. You can almost guarantee they’re both in the Chamber though and that’s a fine way to go.

Post match Orton and Harper go at it with Bray trying to break it up. Luke lunges at Orton again and Bray hits Harper in the face. Bray tells Orton to bring it on and the fans want the RKO. That goes nowhere though as Harper walks away while pointing at Orton.

Becky Lynch knows she’s never run from a fight and she knows who she is.

Here’s Jerry Lawler for the King’s Court. After saying he’s glad to be back, here’s Dolph Ziggler as his guest. Dolph doesn’t say anything as Lawler asks about the recent change in personality. Ziggler is one of Lawler’s favorites but the star is fading as much as the bleach in his hair. We see a clip of last week’s loss to Kalisto and Dolph’s subsequent attack with a chair. Ziggler still has nothing to say and starts to leave but Lawler wants to know what’s going on.

Dolph wants to know why Lawler agreed to do this and has his own footage. This clip is the series of elbow drops that might have caused Lawler’s heart attack back in September 2012. Ziggler says that was on purpose and if Lawler doesn’t stop with the questions, he’ll finish what he started. Lawler asks his last question: how does it feel to always be a loser? That earns him a superkick to the chest and JBL actually gets in the ring to check on Jerry. Ziggler turns down an offer to come back and fight Lawler.

Bray Wyatt says the entire Family is in the Royal Rumble. Next week though it’s Orton vs. Harper and no matter who wins, the Family will be stronger.

Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch

Lynch is challenging and this is inside a steel cage. They go at it to start with both of them climbing the cage at the same time. That goes nowhere so Bliss sends her into the steel a few times, only to have Becky drop her face first onto the top turnbuckle. We take a break and come back with Lynch in trouble as Alexa stomps her against the cage.

Bliss’ charge hits the steel though and Becky gets to the top, only to have a quick charge make the save. That goes badly for the champ as well though as Becky gets in a super Bexploder for a very close two. Becky goes for the door but here’s La Luchadora to block the way. A kick to the head sets up Bliss’ DDT for the pin to retain at 9:43.

Rating: B-. Not great here but at least we had a good match in the process. The ending was pretty easy to guess but it’s still really cool to see the women main event a show like it’s no big deal anymore. In years past, this would be near the biggest moment ever in women’s wrestling but instead it’s just something that happened.

Post match the beatdown continues until Becky fights back and unmasks La Luchadora as…..Mickie James. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Overall Rating: B-. I had a good time with this show even if it felt a little emptier than usual. Three matches isn’t exactly a high amount but the key thing here is how important everything seems. No matter what is going on at the time, that is all that matters right then and there. It could be Nikki and Natalya arguing or something over the World Title but it’s important and treated as such. That’s SUCH a big difference over Raw and it helps to no end.

Results

AJ Styles b. The Miz via DQ when John Cena interfered

Dean Ambrose b. Randy Orton – Rollup

Alexa Bliss b. Becky Lynch – DDT

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: August 15, 2002
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

With ten days to go before Summerslam, the Raw half of the card is mostly filled in. That leaves a lot of Smackdown to go and that could mean some interesting things going on. Now of course the important thing tonight is Brock Lesnar vs. Rikishi because that’s the kind of match that needs to be advertised. Let’s get to it.

Here are Paul Heyman and Lesnar for a chat after destroying Hulk Hogan last week. You can imagine how happy Heyman is to talk about Hogan being destroyed last week and seemingly ending his career (again). Heyman gets to narrate video of last week and it’s as entertaining as you would expect it to be (during the F5: “When it comes crashing down and it hurts inside.”).

Lesnar rips up a Hogan shirt as Heyman talks about how the people’s blood will be on Lesnar’s hands at Summerslam. Brock promises to end Rock’s title reign just like he ended Hogan’s career. Rikishi comes out to interrupt and I continue to fail to see the appeal of this match. The fat man threatens to back it up and then make Brock kiss it before clearing the ring. Lesnar saves Heyman from a Stinkface.

Hurricane/Shannon Moore/Hardcore Holly vs. Billy and Chuck/Rico

Holly and Rico are having issues over Hardcore shaving off part of Rico’s sideburns. Billy and Hardcore start fast with Holly hitting that dropkick. It’s off to Shannon vs. Rico for the spinning kicks to put Moore down. A backslide to Rico sets up Hurricane’s top rope legdrop for a nice spot. Chuck comes in and gets hurricanranaed to set up a Shining Wizard for two as the cruiserweights are moving very well so far.

Those loud and heavy right hands from Chuck stagger Hurricane though as the fans tell Rico that he sucks. A neckbreaker gets Hurricane out of trouble and a double falling tag brings in Shannon and Chuck as things speed up again. Something like a Whisper in the Wind connects as everything breaks down. Billy gets in the One and Only on Shannon to give Chuck the pin after a quick referee distraction.

Rating: C+. I liked this a lot more than I expected as it was quite the snappy little six man tag. Hurricane and Shannon looked good out there and Holly was just kind of there. Billy and Chuck and Rico are fine for a three man team when necessary and it’s nice to see Rico getting in the ring instead of just being on the floor.

The post match beatdown is on until Matt Hardy arrives as the newest name to jump over. No heel beatdown ensues so I guess we’re just forgetting Raw.

Stephanie, who is supposed to be a face here, does the full on heel shouting rant to Dawn Marie over the contracts from last week. Of course Stephanie was able to use her brilliance by signing Matt Hardy and buying commercial time on Raw. Dawn needs to dress more professionally or she’ll be fired. I really have no idea how I’m supposed to think Stephanie is interesting or care about her but that’s the way things work around here whether we like it or not.

Matt talks to the losers of the six man tag and says Smackdown is ready for Matt Hardy Version I. Holly doesn’t look impressed.

Chris Benoit comes in to see Stephanie and we get a great example of Stephanie’s really weird way of speaking as she keeps saying Intercontinental Title and that people will tap. Tonight it’s Benoit vs. Rock as a way to send a message to Van Dam. Again: Stephanie does not act like a face in the slightest but there’s no reason for her to be a heel either. She just changes back and forth, thereby making it really hard to figure out how to react to her. I get the idea of shades of gray but when you’re used to wrestling working one way and one person does it differently, it’s going to be difficult to understand.

Kurt Angle thinks Rey Mysterio is a twelve year old who put on a mask and cheated to beat him. Mysterio comes in (Angle: “Sorry. You must be this tall to talk to Kurt Angle. Try again next year.”) and a match is made for Summerslam. Angle: “You want me at Summerslam? La freaking cucaracha. You’re on man.” Mark Henry comes up and gets a match with Angle tonight. Kurt was HILARIOUS here.

Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Henry shoulders him down and smiles to start so Kurt tries right hands to even less avail. They head outside for a bit with Henry missing a charge and coming up with a bad ankle. It’s a good thing Angle has the luck of Ric Flair when it comes to opponents tweaking a body part during a match. Kurt starts going after the ankle as Cole brags about having multiple Olympians on the roster. The ankle gets attacked even more and Kurt grabs a leglock. The ankle lock is broken up and Henry does a gorilla press drop because his ankle is just fine. A chop block into another ankle lock makes Henry tap.

Rating: D. Egads Henry was worthless around this point. Kurt was trying but when Henry’s selling was this bad there’s only so much he can do. I’m not sure what you can ask for out of this other than Henry not being able to do his normal stuff but that gorilla press was completely normal. He’s been around over six years at this point and there’s no excuse for something like this.

Mysterio makes the save with a hurricanrana and Angle gets busted open somewhere in there.

Eric Bischoff does a Subway commercial from the Raw set to get back at Stephanie for buying commercial time on Monday. You know, which Raw would have profited from. WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT THIS STUFF???

Rikishi vs. Brock Lesnar

Rikishi is thrown around to start but he stands still off a shoulder. Brock starts in on the arm before grabbing a bearhug though Tazz thinks Rikishi can hang on, unlike Hogan. For the life of me I do not get this love for Rikishi, who fights out of the bearhug and gets in the Samoan drop. Heyman comes in to save Brock from the Stinkface (which the #1 contender shouldn’t need saving from) and takes one himself. The F5 wraps this up shortly thereafter.

Rating: D-. Sweet goodness enough with the big guys who can’t do much other than big guy offense. Rikishi is suddenly a veteran who we’re supposed to respect despite being the same character who was a glorified comedy guy. He’s still huge and does comedy spots but now we’re supposed to be impressed that Lesnar beat him? It doesn’t work that way.

We run down the Summerslam card.

Funaki interviews Nidia, who invites him to touch her chest. Seriously. An arguing D-Von and Batista come in with the deacon sending D-Von through a door, likely ending the team for good.

Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia

Torrie does her bad looking clotheslines, which are even more impressive since very little Torrie does can be classified as bad looking. Cole actually brags about the crowd being louder than Raw’s crowd as Nidia knees her in the ribs for two. Jamie Noble gets slapped so he grabs Torrie’s ankle, earning himself a cheap shot from Kidman. Torrie gets back in and Jamie adds in a clothesline, giving Nidia the cheap pin.

Kane’s music hits and, just like Monday, nothing happens.

Eddie is on the phone with grandma, who will be sure the whole family is watching tonight. Various cousins are listed off. Eddie isn’t cool with Edge and wants to beat that bad smile off his face.

Chavo Guerrero/Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio/Edge

Edge and Chavo start with the Guerrero taking a flapjack (always love that move) as Cole refers to Eddie as the Raw defector. Chavo takes it to the floor and sends Edge into the barricade so Eddie can start in on the ribs. They botch what looked to be a backdrop and it’s off to Rey as things speed way up.

One heck of a powerbomb crushes Rey and Chavo adds a splash to the back for two. Mysterio gets in a spinwheel kick to Chavo’s face and for some reason the referee stops to check on both guys. It’s not like the shot was that hard. Everything breaks down and Eddie gives Edge a brainbuster, only to have Rey break up the frog splash. The 619 connects but Angle pulls Rey off the apron for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was WAY too short (but at least we had Nidia talking about how hot she was) but it helped set up Mysterio vs. Angle, which is one of the best things that can happen at the moment. You can see the talent starting to build up around the midcard and a lot of that is due to a main eventer like Angle being involved. With the younger guys getting wins over him, they seem like bigger deals as a result.

Video on the Australia tour with 56,734 people at the Melbourne show.

The Rock and Marc Lloyd discuss squealing and bending over. Lloyd actually bends over and Rock freaks out as only he can. Rock: “SWEET CREAM ON AN ICE CREAM SAMMICH GET UP!” Marc leaves and Rock is ready for Benoit tonight and is going to send Brock a message tonight.

The Rock vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title. During Rock’s entrance, a WATCH TRIPLE H VS. ROCK ON RAW banner goes through the crowd. Cole wants to know what it would mean if Benoit can make Rock tap twice in a row. Rock starts in on the arm and clotheslines him down as this is high energy to start.

Benoit takes him into the corner for some chops, only to get caught in the belly to belly for two. The rolling German suplexes get two on Rock and a DDT drops him again. Benoit goes up (which Cole calls rare despite him doing it in almost every match) and hits the Swan Dive for two.

Rock’s Sharpshooter (which Benoit would laugh at) sends Benoit straight to the ropes so it’s the spinebuster instead. Cue Lesnar for the staredown though, allowing Benoit to get in a cheap shot. The fans want Hogan but have to settle for a Crossface from Benoit. That means we tease the tap out finish but this time Rock makes the rope. Back up and a quick Rock Bottom ends Benoit.

Rating: B. Were you expecting anything else here? I really liked that tease of the tap out again as it was set up in their previous match, which made you think it could happen. Benoit losing here is fine as it’s to a bigger name so it’s not like he falls that far. Rock vs. Lesnar has been built up very well as it’s hard to imagine either of them actually losing. Good main event here.

Lesnar and Rock stare each other down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Not the best show in the world here but the good stuff was quite good. The problem though is the bad stuff was really bad, making the show really unbalanced. The Stephanie stuff was HORRIBLE though as she just won’t shut up with will of the RAW IS EVIL when absolutely no one cares. It’s one of the least interesting stories I can ever remember and for some reason they’re doing it again in the modern Brand Split. Stephanie must really love that story and if that’s the case, you know it’s what we’re going to get.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: January 10, 2017
Location: Raising Cane’s River Center Arena, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

As is becoming the regular case around here, we’ve got a title match set up coming into the show. In this case it’s the Tag Team Titles being defended as American Alpha put the titles on the line against the Wyatt Family. Other than that we have John Cena’s first singles match in a long time as he faces Baron Corbin. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Miz vs. Dean Ambrose over the last few weeks, including all the slaps and without the new interviewer stumbling over her words.

Here’s Ambrose for the Ambrose Asylum as hosted by the new Intercontinental Champion. Let’s get this out of the way right now: he’s in the Royal Rumble. Other than that, he’s annoyed that they can’t have a live alligator in the ring due to not having a permit. He does however have a plastic alligator head named Maryse, which brings him to his guest. That would of course be Miz and Maryse, who cut him off before their introductions.

Miz is in the Rumble as well but more importantly, he wants Ambrose to hand over the title that Miz should have retained due to outside interference. Dean agrees to give Miz something but it’s the Participation Award from a few weeks back. The fight is on and Maryse slaps her husband by mistake, setting up Dirty Deeds to Miz. Maryse is handed the award as Dean leaves.

We recap Nikki Bella vs. Natalya to set up their match tonight.

Nikki is on her way to the ring when Natalya jumps her.

Nikki Bella vs. Natalya

Bella charges out to the ring without selling anything (because that would mean she’s not FEARLESS) and it’s a big brawl, meaning no match. Natalya takes out the bad leg and puts Nikki in the Sharpshooter on the floor.

Dolph Ziggler has nothing to say about what he did to Kalisto last week.

Kalisto vs. Dolph Ziggler

A very fast hurricanrana sends Ziggler outside to start so he opts for some technical wrestling to take Kalisto down instead. The masked man tries to speed things up but gets kicked in the head to put him on the floor as we take a break. Back with Kalisto being stuck in and then fighting out of a chinlock. Ziggler charges into an elbow in the corner and gets rolled up for the pin at 8:37.

Rating: D+. Dang that’s not good. I’m sure this is part of a longer form story though I’m not sure what Ziggler is going to do next. I like the idea of making Ziggler even angrier than he already was but I don’t trust WWE to be able to follow up on this. Kalisto winning is cool though there’s no secret to the fact that it’s just a way to advance Ziggler’s story.

Post match Ziggler lays Kalisto out and destroys him with a chair as CHILDREN are watching. Yes I say they’re WATCHING THE SHOW IN FRONT OF THEM! THIS IS SO FREAKING INTERESTING! Apollo Crews comes out for the fight as Ziggler goes to leave, only to get chaired down as well.

American Alpha isn’t underestimating the Wyatts but they know they can beat them.

John Cena wants to know who Baron Corbin thinks he is. Cena is the one who needs to make a statement and he’s been called a lot of things in WWE. Last week, AJ Styles called him a has been and Corbin agreed with him. Tonight the lone wolf may be on the prowl tonight but his name is John Cena and his time is now.

The Wyatts say they’ll win the titles back.

Tag Team Titles: Wyatt Family vs. American Alpha

Alpha is defending and it’s Bray and Randy for the Wyatts. Bray takes Jordan down to start with Jason easily taking over on the mat. Randy comes in and gives up a blind tag to Gable, who armbars Bray over the top rope. Sister Abigail is countered into a rollup and Gable follows it up with a dive off the apron.

Back in and Bray just runs Gable over, allowing Orton to drop him back first onto the barricade. I heartily approve of anything that means a hot tag to Jordan. The chinlock doesn’t work very well so Orton goes with a slingshot suplex for two. Gable finally gets up and makes the tag to Jordan so things can speed way up. It must be the straps coming down to slow down wind resistance. Harper grabs Jordan’s leg though and Jason gets draped across the top rope, sending us to a break.

Back with Orton raking his boot over Jordan’s eyes before handing it back to Bray, who eats one heck of a clothesline. The real hot tag brings in Gable for some bad looking right hands on Wyatt. A top rope clothesline gets two on Orton but Harper gets on the apron, only to be knocked off when Orton goes for the elevated DDT. Harper gets back up and distracts Orton, allowing Gable to ram them together for an O’Connor roll on Orton to retain the titles at 15:32.

Rating: B-. This was a storyline loss for the Wyatts and I’m getting curious about where it’s going. I’m actually not sure what Orton’s endgame is here but if it sets up a bit match against Bray, so be it. Orton really could be on either side here and that makes things all the more interesting.

Post match Harper and Orton are about to fight with Bray trying to break it up. Harper throws a superkick but hits Bray by mistake. Bray looks at both of them as the fans chant Randy. Wyatt leaves on his own.

Corbin is ready for Cena.

Clips from Wrestlemania XXXIV press conference in New Orleans.

Becky Lynch asks Daniel Bryan who was the other La Luchadora. Alexa Bliss comes in and says she was about to find out who was under the mask when Lynch messed everything up. Bryan doesn’t want to hear it and gives Becky a title match next week inside a steel cage.

Carmella vs. CJ Lunde

The jobber’s last name is probably a rib as Lunde is Arn Anderson’s real last name. Carmella runs her over a few times until Ellsworth grabs Lunde’s leg. A hard left hand gets two for Carmella so Lunde goes outside to yell at James. Back in and a badly botched Downward Spiral sets up the Code of Silence for the tap out at 2:41.

We look back at Undertaker entering the Royal Rumble last night.

Carmella is going to take Ellsworth on a shopping spree next week.

Baron Corbin is ready to end Cena. AJ Styles comes in and tells Corbin to impersonate the champ and beat Cena up.

Baron Corbin vs. John Cena

Styles is on commentary. Corbin wastes no time in kicking Cena in the face to put him on the floor as we take an early break. Back with Cena not being able to hit the AA because someone under 300lbs is too heavy for him to lift. They head outside with Cena throwing him into the steps for his first breather of the match.

As Styles talks about how he wants Cena to lose because he just doesn’t like John, Corbin gets in a powerslam for two. Deep Six gets the same so Baron opts to just squeeze Cena with a bearhug. That lasts as long as a bearhug is going to last before Cena fights out and grabs a tornado DDT. Back up and the ProtoBomb sets up the AA for the clean pin on Corbin at 11:02.

Rating: C+. This was just a match really and I’m ok with seeing Corbin lose clean here. He got to beat on Cena for a good while before going down to the biggest name in a long time. I’d have been fine with Styles causing the fall in there somehow but either way it’s a fine way to have Cena come back and Corbin doesn’t lose a ton of steam.

Overall Rating: B-. This one didn’t have as much going for it as recent episodes but it’s still far better than almost anything else WWE has been putting on as of late. Again, you can see the Ryan Ward influence here by setting up stuff for next week to keep you coming back. How many times have you seen a show completely wrapped up with nowhere to go next week? That’s bad storytelling and thankfully you never see it on Smackdown anymore.

Results

Kalisto b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollup

American Alpha b. Wyatt Family – O’Connor roll to Orton

Carmella b. CJ Lunde – Code of Silence

John Cena b. Baron Corbin – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: August 8, 2002
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time for a showdown as we have what would have been a dream match back in the 80s, assuming it could have actually been booked. Tonight we have Brock Lesnar vs. Hulk Hogan in what could either make Lesnar look like a killer or wind up killing what little heat he’s built up over the last few months. Let’s get to it.

We open with a newsreel style video about Hogan’s career, which is somehow contained in about a minute. This switches to a much more modern look at Lesnar’s brief career, which is a pretty nice way to set up the match.

Opening sequence.

Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Angle takes him down by the arm to start but Cena gets in a shoulder to put him on the floor for a breather. Back in and Angle sends him outside before a ram into the steps allows Cena to slap the steel instead of actually having his head touch it. Cena’s early comeback is cut off in a hurry via a belly to belly and Angle drives him into the corner as this is one sided so far.

A chinlock slows things down again and the rolling German suplexes make things even worse for Cena. The third is blocked though and Cena gets in a DDT for a breather. Another comeback is countered with the ankle lock but Cena rolls through that as well. Angle goes shoulder first into the post and here’s Benoit to Crossface Cena for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Not a great match or anything but Cena has hit the ground on fire and looks like he belongs in the ring with these guys. The key thing here is that Cena has no business hanging with someone like Angle but he does well enough to make it work, especially due to the intensity. He’s doing basic offense well enough and the intensity carries him even further, which is a great sign for him going forward.

Cue Mysterio, Guerrero and Edge for ensuing saves/beatdowns.

Post break Benoit and Guerrero yell a lot because Benoit is the best submission wrestler on the show. Angle shows up to protest but Eddie makes peace and proposes a six man for later. Angle: “That’s fine but I thought you wanted real competition.”

Mark Henry vs. Reverend D-Von

Henry is all evil by jumping the preacher from behind as I try to remember why in the world these two are fighting. D-Von trips him up though and gets in a double stomp, only to have Henry grab the boot to stop a regular stomp. Henry knocks Batista off the apron and hits a side kick (!?!?!) followed by a powerslam (that’s more like it) for the quick pin.

Batista beats Henry down but Rikishi makes the save, setting up a match.

Rikishi vs. Batista

Batista shrugs off some right hands and hits a full nelson slam to start fast. Some forearms to the back have Rikishi in trouble until Batista walks into a DDT. The charge is stopped but D-Von hits his buddy by mistake, setting up a superkick to give Rikishi the pin.

Batista is ticked off at the mistake.

Brock goes into Hogan’s locker room despite Heyman’s protests. After a break they go into the locker room with Brock asking if Hogan wants to do this. Not only does Hulk want to, but if he was Brock, he’d put the title shot on the line. Brock is in. Heyman: “WHAT DID YOU JUST DO???” He goes on about how this guy is different because Hogan has overcome the odds for twenty years. Brock thinks Heyman is losing confidence in him.

Torrie Wilson jumps Nidia. I’m sure the fact that Torrie is in lingerie is just a detail.

Billy and Chuck vs. Hurricane/Shannon Moore

These teams have been having issues on Velocity as of late. Hurricane trips Chuck down to start and a Shining Wizard gets two. Billy comes in from behind and hammers away on Shannon to take over. That doesn’t last long though as the hot tag brings in Hurricane for a failed chokeslam. Instead it’s a double flapjack for two on the superhero and Tazz makes sex jokes because that’s what you do when there’s a gay gimmick in the ring.

A double knockdown allows for the real hot tag to Shannon for the house cleaning as everything breaks down. Rico is sent to the floor (Tazz: “There go the sideburns!”) and Billy shoves him in the way of a Hurricane dive. Back in and Billy and Chuck load up a Doomsday Device (Code Red), only to have Shannon turn it into a victory roll for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here and again, it’s a good idea to have a new team win some matches. Well, I mean it would be if there were TITLES for them to win but this leaves you with a tag match for the sake of a tag match. That’s fine for some filler, but if this is supposed to be anything serious they need to make some major adjustments.

Edge, Mysterio and Cena are getting ready with Cena freaking Edge out a bit. Mysterio says he’ll take care of Angle tonight.

Kane is coming back. Shouldn’t that be on Raw? Or is he the subject of another “bidding war”?

Heyman can’t talk Stephanie into changing the stipulation for Lesnar vs. Hogan.

Kurt Angle/Eddie Guerrero/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/John Cena/Rey Mysterio

This has serious potential. Cena has a bad shoulder coming in. Thankfully we take the break BEFORE the opening bell but come back with this joined in progress. Eh I’ll take what I can get. Back with Angle working over Edge in the corner but Benoit walks into a flapjack. Mysterio comes in and hurricanranas Benoit out of the corner, only to be taken down into the corner for the heel beatdown sequence.

Again it doesn’t last long though as Rey headscissors him down and brings Cena back in for a tilt-a-whirl slam. Everything breaks down for a bit and Cena winds up getting beaten down again with Benoit picking him apart as only Benoit can. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Angle hits a rare spinebuster for two.

As is always the case though, the heels make the mistake of going for their finisher, allowing Cena to superplex Eddie down. The hot tag brings in Edge and everything breaks down again with everyone getting to hit a single spot before someone else takes them out. I love that kind of sequence. The Angle Slam drops Cena but Kurt’s trash talk sets up the 619 into the West Coast Pop for the pin.

Rating: C+. This could have easily gone on longer but I don’t think they wanted to have Cena out there that long, which I can understand. The faces looked great here and I don’t think the heels really need to prove themselves that much. You can see the Smackdown Six being formed though and that’s nothing but great for all of us.

Angle is livid about getting pinned by a 12 year old and promises to take care of Rey later. He accurately points out that Mysterio wasn’t legal so the pin shouldn’t have counted.

XXX plug.

Jamie Noble/Nidia vs. Torrie Wilson/Kidman

Genders have to match here. Thankfully the men start after breaking up an attempt at a catfight. Kidman dropkicks Noble into the corner as Tazz reminds us that Noble is the Cruiserweight Champion. Jamie is sent outside but dives back in to save Nidia from the spanking. Torrie comes in for some slapping but Jamie trips her up, allowing Nidia to grab a rollup for the pin. This was nothing.

Stacy and Dawn Marie are catty to each other and sex with Vince is implied. Dawn gives Stacy some papers to give to Stephanie but she hides them under the couch.

After a break, Stephanie comes in to get the papers but Stacy says she sent Dawn after Stephanie. It’s a ruse of course and Bischoff pops up to take the papers while Stephanie laughs. I love that Stacy’s plan doesn’t include waiting until the cameras are gone.

Hogan knows Lesnar is stronger and younger but he has the Hulkamaniacs in his corner and is ready to fight.

Hulk Hogan vs. Brock Lesnar

The winner gets Rock at Summerslam. We get the big staredown to start and Hogan can’t do the shove out of the lockup. On the other hand, Lesnar shoves Hogan so hard that the bandana flies off. Brock’s slam is no sold and he misses a charge into the corner. Hulk drops the elbows for little effect as we hear about Hogan slamming Andre. Lesnar takes a breather on the floor and uses a Heyman distraction to crotch Hogan against the post.

Back in and the beating continues as Heyman keeps shouting HE’S DIFFERENT. For some reason Lesnar heads outside to set up the announcers’ table, earning himself a ram into the post. Cole: “That is why Hogan has been successful for twenty years in this business!” Because his opponents are idiots? A powerbomb gets two for Lesnar but it’s already Hulk Up time.

The big boot is pretty much no sold so Hogan does it again and drops the leg but the kickout puts Hulk on his feet. A third big boot looks to set up a second legdrop but Heyman grabs the boot. There’s the F5 but Brock doesn’t cover. Instead we hit the bearhug with Hogan bleeding from the mouth for the knockout.

Rating: D+. The ending was a really good symbolic way to have Hogan lose as he always survived something like that but the build to it was really lacking. This felt like it didn’t have a middle with Hogan dominating to start, Lesnar getting in a little offense and then the finish. It’s far from terrible and it accomplished the necessary goal but it was hardly anything special.

Post match Lesnar chairs Hogan in the head, putting him out of action until February. Lesnar rubs the blood on his chest as the ROCKY chants go nowhere to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It’s not a great show but the important thing here is you can see what they’re trying to accomplish. There’s clearly a goal going forward and that’s really all that matters at this point. The youth movement is in full swing and with Hogan presumably out of the way for a long time, there’s a good chance that we could get somewhere in the near future. That being said, there’s a lot of bad stuff going on as well, by which I mean Stephanie vs. Bischoff. They kept it shorter this week but dang it brings the show to a grinding halt when it shows up. There’s good stuff here but it’s not quite good enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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This was requested recently but it was written over five years ago, meaning it might not be up to my usual standards.

Smackdown
Date: May 24, 2001
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is a request I got a few months ago and got too busy to get around to until now. This is the TLC 3 night with Benoit/Jericho defending against three other teams. Other than that it’s another episode of Smackdown without much to show for it. HHH is injured and Austin is the top dog in the company as a heel. The Alliance is coming and Austin would be getting ready either for Judgment Day in a few days or King of the Ring in a month or so. I’m not entirely sure. Let’s get to it.

This is the Thursday after HHH and Austin lost the tag titles so this is the first title defense for the new champions. We open with a recap of the AWESOME tag title match where Austin and HHH lost the belts (can’t wait to get to that one)

Theme song opens us up.

Here’s Vince to start the show. He guarantees that we’re going to have an historic night tonight. He calls the title change a miracle and the fans don’t seem to agree. We hear about HHH’s quad injury and the fans cheer. This might be the first time we hear that it’ll be 4-6 months that he’s out. In reality it would be closer to 7-8. He announced the main event: TLC 3 with Benoit/Jericho defending against the Hardys, Edge/Christian and the Dudleys.

X-Pac vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie cost Pac the European Title on Mondays o this is a revenge rematch. Eddie takes him down quickly to start as the fans don’t really care as much as the match starts. Pac takes Eddie down and the fans aren’t pleased. He sends Eddie to the floor and hits Chrsitian’s springboard dive over the top to the floor.

Pac slams him down but something like a swanton misses and here comes Eddie. He gets some basic stuff including the slingshot headbutt. Pac breaks the momentum and tries the Bronco Buster but Eddie moves. Eddie goes up but takes an enziguri followed by something like a dominator off the top for the kind of surprising pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok enough but they weren’t clicking out there. Even Tazz said that Eddie looked a bit off. Also it’s kind of cool to see Pac getting a clean pin over someone like that, especially with something other than the X-Factor. Not a great match at all but it wasn’t horrible or anything. Eddie would be sent to rehab later on in the month for pain killer addiction so this was one of his last appearances for awhile.

Tajiri is in Regal’s office and Japanese is spoken. Oh this is his debut. Regal says Tajiri should pay some dues in the form of being the Commissioner’s (Regal) friend. First off, no more bowing as it’s a racial stereotype. Now go get my tea and crumpets.

We recap Angle celebrating the recovery of his Olympic medals but then Shane showed up to ruin the celebration. This set up an AWESOME street fight at King of the Ring. Kurt beat up Shane and Vince offered Kurt an IC Title shot as an apology. Shane cost him the title.

Kurt is looking for Shane.

Spike tries to talk the Dudleys out of hating Molly because he loves her. D-Von guarantees she’s going through a table sooner or later. The more famous Dudleys say they have more important things to worry about, like TLC. They part ways.

Molly is chilling in the back and Kurt comes up to ask about Shane. He threatens her for lying and says she’s waiting on someone. Kurt makes fun of her and tells her to go find Shane. Spike pops up and calls Molly his girlfriend and a match is made for later. Scratch the later. Let’s do it RIGHT NOW.

Spike Dudley vs. Kurt Angle

I mean literally now as they walk to the ring in the same shot. They both come through the crowd for some reason. Spike calls Kurt a chicken and tries to use speed but jumps into a suplex. Kurt unleashes the suplexes and Spike is in pain. It’s so weird hearing Cole as a face commentator. Angle Slam off the steps kills Spike and the ankle lock ends it quickly. This was just a squash.

Kurt won’t let go of the ankle so Molly comes out for the save. Kurt gets in her face so the male Hollies come out for the save. Back to the ankle lock on Spike and he’s in pain.

Post break Kurt says he’s proud of what he did to Spike. He blames Shane for what just happened.

Dean Malenko vs. Raven

Malenko is a ladies man here. Perry Saturn is with Malenko and is a bit loopy now. Raven starts fast and gets a pair of backdrops before setting up for the Raven Effect which is countered. Deano Machineo works on the leg but Raven fights back. Saturn slides in a chair which isn’t used. Saturn’s girlfriend Terri distracts the referee and Saturn hooks a neckbreaker on Raven, letting Malenko get the cheap pin. This was nothing, again.

Raven fights them both off and DDTs Saturn on the chair.

Trish comes in to see Steve Blackman and changes behind a screen. Blackman is intrigued.

After a break Trish is still getting ready and asks Blackman to help her with her top. Blackman has a stick with him at the time. If you can’t figure out what happens next, go watch an Austin Powers movie.

Here’s Austin to complain about life in general. He wants the fans to shut up as he has a sore throat so he can’t talk loud. If they keep calling him the opening in a donkey he’s leaving. And there he goes. Ok he changed his mind. He blames HHH for the title loss, saying he was about to break the Liontamer and hit a Stunner. Then when he was about to kick out of the Lionsault HHH accidentally hit him in the belly with a sledgehammer.

The other problem Austin has is with Taker who popped into the dressing room and says it’s not over yet. You know, after losing to Austin twice in title matches. Now we can talk about Austin. He says he’s a fighting champion and he says he’ll put it on the line to anyone but not here in this town because they don’t deserve to see him in action.

Tajiri brings in tea and a ton of crumpets for Regal. Rhyno pops in and demands a Hardcore Title match but Regal says no. Rhyno says ok then give me Austin and the WWF Title. That’s a no also. Then how about Kane for the Intercontinental Title. Regal says no one wants to face Kane. Rhyno says I do and that’s about it. So you can just demand title matches now?

Steve Blackman/Grandmaster Sexay/Trish Stratus vs. Ivory/Goodfather/Bull Buchanan

The RTC would be gone very soon after this. Richards has been thrown out of the team. Buchanan vs. Blackman to start us off. After Blackman kicks him around a lot Ivory tags herself in. Goodfather comes in to meet Trish so there’s the tag to Grandmaster. Why is he teaming with Blackman? They were in the dark match at Mania and I guess they’re together for an odd pairing? It’s really just a filler match as Grandmaster does some basic stuff to Buchanan (lot of tags in this) before tagging in Blackman (see what I mean?). Everything breaks down, axe kick to Blackman, top rope legdrop to Buchanan, pin.

Rating: C. Eh all things considered this was fine. It’s more or less the final nail in the coffin of the RTC and that’s all it needed to be. Trish looked good in her shorts and was getting a lot more competent in the ring all the time. Not a great match or anything but it was fast paced and did its job so I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt.

Post match Trish and Steve dance.

Dean and Terri aren’t sure how Saturn is. He comes out of the trainers’ room and is insane now.

Edge and Christian say they’ve been in these matches and have a habit of winning them.

Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. Rhyno

Kane won the title at Judgment Day from HHH. It’s a good thing they changed the title when they did. Kane still has a bad arm. He takes over to start and hits some of his favorites, such as the side slam and clothesline for two. Rhyno hits a running shoulder to the back while Kane is in the corner but he gets his head taken off by a clothesline for two again. Rhyno works on the back and hooks a camel clutch but Kane stands up and hits an electric chair drop. British Bulldog style powerslam gets two. Rhyno gets most of a belly to back suplex and takes over. And scratch that as the missed Gore sets up the chokeslam to end it.

Rating: C. Nice hard hitting match here which is the right idea with guys like these. Rhyno never really got a huge push in WWE but he’s pretty good at his job: being the tough guy who could give you a quick and good match. For a three-four minute TV match, there’s not much more you can ask for given who was in there.

The Canadian Chris’s talk about winning the titles and keeping them tonight.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys vs. Edge/Christian vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Think this will be awesome? Everyone goes after the champions immediately and Edge throws in a ladder. Expect a lot of play by play here as there’s not much else you can do. Edge and Christian (Dang I can’t call them the Canadians here) go up but get pulled down, foiling their attempted fast one. The Hardys and Dudleys are in the ring with a ladder being put in front of Bubba. He throws it back at Jeff to counter Poetry in Motion.

The champions take over with ladders but their fellow Canadians take them down. The fans want tables. There needs to be a crack addiction center for table lovers. Matt powerbombs Christian off the ladder and gets in a fight with Edge on top of the ladder. Benoit shoves them off and then gets beaten up by Bubba for his efforts. Jericho puts Matt on a table on the floor and Benoit goes up. He dives off in a huge swan dive which hits the table and no Matt. That was in the Smackdown opening montage forever.

Back in the ring Jericho bulldogs Bubba off the top of the ladder and Benoit hasn’t moved yet. Tazz goes to check on him so you can tell it’s a big deal. Yeah he leaves on a stretcher as we go to a break. Back with two ladders in the ring and Edge climbs one. Jericho comes up for the save and puts Edge in the Walls on top of the ladder which looks awesome. Christian comes up and shoves Jericho off the top and onto a buckle.

The Hardys shove off the other Canadians and it’s Hardys vs. Dudleys. Works for me. D-Von hiptosses Matt off and Jeff gets suplexed to put everyone down. We get a highlight package to fill in some of the time with everyone down. And here comes Benoit. Benoit goes up but Edge and Christian make the save. They pull out some chairs and it’s Conchairto time. Benoit covers his head but takes two chair shots to the ribs, which were announced as bruised or perhaps broken.

Edge gets taken down by What’s Up and it’s Table Time. Jericho pops D-Von with one and then Christian pops Jericho with one. With a table still in the ring, Christian goes up a ladder in a corner and D-Von chases him up. You know it’s coming. There’s a Super 3D off the ladder which knocks both Dudleys out as well for some reason. The Hardys set up a ladder outside and it’s the big one. Matt caves in Ray’s head and Jeff goes a climbing. Using another ladder Jeff hits that jumping legdrop over the big ladder through Bubba through the table. There’s your huge spot of the match.

Matt and D-Von both have ladders and it’s a race up there. They slug it out up there but Matt gets a Twist of Fate off the top. It looked worse too as Matt pulled too hard and D-Von landed on top of his head. FREAKING OW MAN! Matt goes up but Jericho makes a last second save. He sets a ladder but Edge climbs up another one and spears Jericho down. When I was a kid I wanted Jericho to reach out and grab it on the way down. Benoit realizes he’s still alive and climbs up to win the titles. It’s as out of nowhere as it sounds.

Rating: B+. Oh come on it’s TLC with the three teams plus the Canadians in there. Did you expect something other than great? It’s a smaller scale than TLC 2 but that’s Wrestlemania so that’s kind of a high expectation to reach. Still though, this was some great carnage and the usual great spots. 8 people in there is a bit much and I think that’s what’s slowing it down. Also it needs JR to be freaking out to be a classic but we can let that slide as it’s not their faults.

The champs pose on the ladder with their titles to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. You get a free 20 minute TLC match so this show is automatically good. The rest of it is pretty average but nothing is too horrible and like I said, YOU GET TLC ON THIS SHOW. This was one of the really good shows before the Alliance came in and threw everything up in the air. The rest isn’t worth watching, but check out TLC, although it’s not as good as I or II.

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