Monday Night Raw
Date: February 18, 2008
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

No Way Out is out of the way and now we have a clear path to Wrestlemania XXIV in just over a month. It’s time to start the build and the good thing is you can probably see a few of the matches from here. As for this week, Vince McMahon gets to face Hornswoggle in a cage, because this story is still going. Let’s get to it.

Here is No Way Out if you need a recap.

Here is new #1 contender HHH to get things going. HHH talks about how happy he is, because last year he was getting ready to go watch Wrestlemania from a wheelchair backstage. Well now he is back where he belongs and he is going to become a 12 time World Champion, but here is (still WWE Champion) Randy Orton to interrupt. Orton says this title reign started with HHH, who he beat to become the champion. Four years ago, HHH was jealous of Orton because Orton was that much better.

Cue John Cena to interrupt as well because he wants to wait a cotton picking minute (Cena: “Yeah I went there.”). Cena accuses Orton of losing his way into Wrestlemania so tonight, let’s have a rematch for the title with the winner facing HHH. Orton appeals to HHH, who doesn’t really care who he faces at Wrestlemania.

Cue William Regal to say HHH is going to Wrestlemania no matter what, but tonight Orton will face Cena….in a non-title match. If Cena wins, he moves on to the main event of Wrestlemania in a triple threat match. HHH isn’t cool with that because he has already earned his shot, but Regal makes it more interesting: HHH can be guest referee for Orton vs. Cena. This was shorter than I would have expected to come up with something like that.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Snitsky

Snitsky shoves him down without much trouble to start and there’s the boot choke in the corner. Hardy isn’t having that and sends him into the corner for the slingshot dropkick. A big boot puts Snitsky on the floor in a crash and we take a break. Back with Hardy caught in a bearhug and then getting shouldered down hard. Three elbows give Snitsky two and we hit a crossface choke (minus the arm trap).

Snitsky lets that go and misses a big leg, allowing Hardy to hit the Whisper in the Wind for two. The Twist of Fate is blocked and a big boot drops Hardy for two more. The pumphandle slam is loaded up but Hardy reverses into the Twist of Fate. That’s enough to set up the Swanton to send Hardy to Wrestlemania.

Rating: C+. A smaller hero vs. a monster is something that will always work and they had it going well here. That is all you need in a lot of cases and Hardy being one of the most popular stars in the company helps a lot. They had a perfectly fine story here and Hardy knows exactly how to do a match like this one. Nice job.

Mike Adamle brings out Shawn Michaels for a chat. Shawn gets right to the point: the greatest wrestler of all time and the man who inspired him to get into wrestling is going into the WWE Hall Of Fame. The fans give a WOO and we see the Ric Flair Hall of Fame video. Your mileage on Flair may vary, but I don’t think this is anything resembling a controversial pick.

Paul Burchill vs. Super Crazy

Katie Lea is here with Burchill (who gets a PAUL THE PIRATE chant) and we get an inset promo where they talk about how attractive the other is. Burchill strikes away to start and curb stomps Crazy for the very fast pin. Total dominance.

Randy Orton comes in to see HHH and hints at an alliance, but HHH says he’s only going to do things that favor him.

We look at Big Show returning last night to attack Rey Mysterio, with Floyd Mayweather Jr. making the save and breaking Show’s nose.

Here is Big Show for a chat. Show was asked to come out here and apologize for what happened last night. He will apologize, even though he thinks Mayweather should apologize. Show asks Mayweather to come out here in person, so cue Mayweather with about six other people behind him.

Mayweather says he has been a WWE fan for many years and he’s sorry things went that way last night. He was called out and had to retaliate. Show says he was just trying to get some publicity and apologizes. They shake hands and Mayweather leaves in peace….but Show says hang on a minute.

Show wants to get something off his chest: the only way Mayweather could hurt him was on his knees and he was STILL bigger than Mayweather. The truth is Show could take him out in two minutes and the challenge is on. Mayweather, and entourage, come back to the ring and sure let’s do it. The tease of a right hand makes Show back up but Mayweather leaves. I think I know where this is going.

Video on Money in the Bank.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Mr. Kennedy vs. Val Venis

Kennedy, with new music, sends Venis shoulder first into the post to start and goes after the arm on the mat. The armbar goes on as JR is smart enough to say that Venis is recently back from elbow surgery. Back up and the Mic Check sends Kennedy to Wrestlemania in a hurry.

Vince McMahon vs. Hornswoggle

In a cage. Finlay comes to the ring and wants to fight for Hornswoggle but is told to get out. Cue JBL to slam the cage door on the back of Finlay’s head and then handcuff him to the top rope. Vince pulls out a belt and whips Hornswoggle as Finlay can’t do anything. Vince leaves and JBL throws Hornswoggle into the cage.

Finlay tells JBL to beat him up instead but Hornswoggle gets kicked in the head. The fall away slam into the cage leaves Hornswoggle laying and even Vince says that’s enough as JBL leaves. This was more intense than I would have bet on, with commentary being silent making it better. No match of course.

Here are Santino Marella and Maria for a chat. We get a poll on if Maria should pose for Playboy, with 94% saying yes. I know it’s a popular concept, but maybe you should wait a bit after such a serious moment? Anyway Santino announces that Maria is posing but Beth cuts him off for a match that Maria didn’t seem to know what was coming. Hold on though as Santino reads the fine print: no Playboy unless Maria wins here!

Beth Phoenix vs. Maria

Non-title and Beth slams her down with ease to start. Cue the returning Candice Michelle for a distraction though and Maria grabs a rollup. There was no way to do this without pinning the unstoppable champion?

Randy Orton vs. John Cena

Non-title but if Cena wins, the Raw World Title match at Wrestlemania is a triple threat, also involving guest referee HHH. Cena backs him into the corner to start but Orton scores with an uppercut. A dropkick has Cena out on the apron and Orton knocks him into the announcers’ table as we take a break.

Back with Cena getting a boot up in the corner and dropping an elbow for a fast two. Orton is right back up and a hanging DDT gets two on Cena, followed by the snap powerslam for the same. The circle stomps set up a jumping knee to the head for two more and frustration is setting in.

We hit the chinlock so Cena is up fast, only to miss a charge into the corner as he still can’t keep anything going. Cena shrugs off a ran into the buckle and initiates the finishing sequence but Orton grabs the rope to block the FU. They head outside with Cena being sent into the steps but the RKO is countered into the STFU. The rope is grabbed so Cena yells at HHH, only to duck a cheap shot from Orton. A quick FU sends Cena to Wrestlemania.

Rating: C+. So there’s one of your Wrestlemania main events as you knew the ending to Orton vs. Cena last night was going to wind up going somewhere. Cena being added to the match does add something fresh to the whole thing, but this wasn’t exactly a classic. The match felt big, but another champion gets pinned, albeit with some shenanigans.

HHH Pedigrees both of them and poses with the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I’ve got a feeling this is going to be the start of the Wrestlemania season trend, as there was very little here in the way of wrestling. Instead, this was ALL about setting up Wrestlemania in one form or another. I can go for that, as they don’t have very long before Wrestlemania and the rapid fire build has begun. Good enough stuff here, but it’s all about the future.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 4, 2008
Location: Frank Irwin Center, Austin, Texas
Attendance: 13,552
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So we are firmly into the build for No Way Out, which will feature John Cena challenging Randy Orton for the Raw World Title, plus an Elimination Chamber match for the Raw World Title shot at Wrestlemania. Thankfully we’re only getting the build toward one Elimination Chamber match, which should fill in most of this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Randy Orton is in the ring to start things off and it looks like we’ve got a contract signing. Orton recaps the setup of his title match with John Cena at No Way Out, which is Cena’s Royal Rumble title shot. That’s not good enough for Orton though, which is why he wants a contract signed so Cena has no way out. Orton’s lawyers have already signed the contract and he has signed it, so get Cena out here to sign it too.

After a quick walk through the back, here is Cena to quite the ovation. Cena wastes no time in signing and Orton is rather pleased, because the match is on no matter what happens to Cena, including in his arm wrestling match with Mark Henry tonight. Cue Henry for a distraction so the RKO can lay Cena out. They certainly didn’t waste time here.

Post break, Henry and Orton deny planning anything in advance. Violence is promised for later tonight.

Kelly Kelly/Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix/Victoria

Kelly goes after Victoria to start and manages a backslide, which has commentary far too impressed. Mickie comes in to go after Beth but gets pulled off the top, which might be a knee injury. A guillotine works a bit better for Mickie but Beth powers her into the corner. Everything breaks down and Mickie hits a tornado DDT to finish Victoria.

Mickie wants the title.

William Regal tells Hornswoggle to get ready to join Vince McMahon’s special club. Regal: “I’m in it!”

Here is Shawn Michaels, with JR saying HHH isn’t here tonight due to a family emergency. Shawn talks about how close he got to winning the WWE Title last year at Wrestlemania but he doesn’t want to be second place. He is ready to go back this year so everyone in the Elimination Chamber is on notice. Shawn: “Friend, family and Umaga….whatever he is, he’s on notice too!”

Cue Chris Jericho to interrupt to say he respects Shawn and how much he loved their Wrestlemania match. But then Shawn suggested he is going to win the Elimination Chamber and that’s too far. Jericho has been inside the Chamber three times and knows what it takes to make it to the main event of Wrestlemania. Cue Jeff Hardy to interrupt to say that he’ll be going to the main event of Wrestlemania for the first time.

Now it’s JBL interrupting to say he gets what he wants. He has bought Umaga to get him to the main event of Wrestlemania….so here is Umaga to interrupt. After staring down the good guys, Umaga turns to JBL and backs him into the corner, which brings out Snitsky, to say the other five have had their chances. Fans: “BRUSH YOUR TEETH!”

Shawn doesn’t care for threats and mocks Snitsky’s teeth before hitting him in the face. The brawl is on and we probably have a six man for later. Indeed as William Regal comes out to make the six man tag. This took a long time to get to the point and was mainly there to get all six of the Elimination Chamber participants out there.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Super Crazy

Kennedy dropkicks the knee out to start and hammers away at the leg. The knee is twisted back and then around the post but Crazy uses the free leg to kick Kennedy in the head. That’s broken up and Kennedy grabs…kind of an inverted Figure Four for the fast tap. At least the hold was different than just a copy of Flair’s Figure Four.

Post match Kennedy shows us a clip of MVP taking out Ric Flair’s knee last week on Smackdown. Therefore, Kennedy is giving Flair a chance to come here next week and forfeit the No Way Out match and save his leg. They’re taking a different path to Kennedy vs. Flair and it’s more interesting than I would have thought.

Mike Adamle hypes up the Raw Elimination Chamber.

Video on the Chamber itself.

Carlito/Santino Marella vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Maria is here with Carlito and Marella. Kendrick dropkicks Carlito for a fast two but Marella low bridges him to the floor. London chases Marella around the ring, leaving Carlito to hit a Backstabber to finish Kendrick. Remember when London and Kendrick were one of the best teams in the company?

Vince McMahon is preparing for Hornswoggle to join his, ahem, special club. This involves a, quote, “Professional a** buffer” and “a** cream”. Vince: “Mr. McMahon’s a** in HD!”

Here’s Vince to humiliate Hornswoggle again. He talks about how you can’t reason with a child, so you have to discipline them. After ranting about children in the audience, Vince says you have to literally make them kiss your a**. Cue Hornswoggle, who Vince blames for the whole thing and it’s going to hurt Vince more than him.

Vince drops his pants and asks for a pardon of the tan lines. Hornswoggle goes to kiss it but Vince demands that he kiss it (that felt like a missed cue). Cue Finlay to ask what is wrong with Vince, who threatens a firing. Actually, Finlay can kiss it instead, but Hornswoggle gives it a bite. That doesn’t work for Vince, who makes himself vs. Hornswoggle next week, No DQ, and if Finlay interferes, he’s fired. This was WAY longer than any segment involving Vince not wearing pants should have been.

Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly vs. Trevor Murdoch/Lance Cade

Non-title. Holly elbows Murdoch down to start so it’s off to Cade to run Holly over right back. That doesn’t last long and Cody comes in with a top rope ax handle, setting up a bulldog. Everything breaks down and Cody DDTs Murdoch for the pin.

Post match Carlito and Santino Marella come out to challenge for the titles. Egads that’s a rough time for the belts.

No Way Out rundown.

Shawn Michaels/Jeff Hardy/Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Snitsky/Umaga

Shawn and Umaga start things off with Shawn’s chops having no effect. Umaga misses a sitdown splash so Jericho comes in and gets headbutted down without much trouble. It’s off to Snitsky to miss a big boot, allowing Jericho to triangle dropkick him out to the floor. Hardy comes in (big reaction for that) and gets slammed by Snitsky, allowing JBL to pound away.

A hard shoulder drops Hardy but Snitsky comes in and allows the tag off to Shawn. Something like an Indian Deathlock has Snitsky in trouble but everything breaks down. The good guys hit triple dives and we take a break with the fans sounding rather enthusiastic. Back with Jericho in trouble and getting caught in the wrong corner.

Umaga grabs a bearhug before hitting the Samoan drop for two. Jericho tries to fight out but gets kicked in the back to cut him right back down. An enziguri gives Jericho a breather though and the hot tag brings in Hardy to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Twist of Fate into the Swanton finishes Snitsky.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard, long form six man here with Hardy winning for the feel good moment. Hardy is going to be the fan favorite in the Chamber and giving him some momentum on the way there is the right thing to do. The fans wanted to see him do anything here and it’s not like Jericho and Shawn need to pin Snitsky. Basic six man formula here and it worked just fine.

And now, arm wrestling between John Cena and Mark Henry. As expected, Henry takes forever to start and gets in a cheap shot on Cena’s recently injured chest. They go, Henry is about to win, Cena is about to win, Randy Orton runs in to jump Cena. The RKO and AA are blocked and Orton runs, leaving Cena to AA Henry to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a weird show as they had two stories, with the Elimination Chamber stuff and John Cena vs. Randy Orton. That filled in part of the show, but there wasn’t much else to fill in time other than those two stories. Unfortunately the other big story was Vince/Hornswoggle and….yeah that was as Vince of a segment as you could have had. No Way Out is all but set and that has me wondering how bad things are going to go next week when they don’t have much to say. For now though, it was just an ok show without much to fill in the gaps between the big stuff.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 28, 2008
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The Royal Rumble has come and gone and that means it is time to start the Road To Wrestlemania. Randy Orton retained the Raw World Title over Jeff Hardy last night, but the big story is the return of John Cena, who is back months ahead of schedule and wont he Royal Rumble. That means Cena is going to be coming for Orton sooner than later so let’s get to it.

Here is the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

Royal Rumble recap.

Here is John Cena to get things going. Cena is a bit more serious than usual and says he knows this town is always going to tell him the truth. He is here tonight to answer a question that has been on everyone’s mind: how could this be possible? Back in October he suffered a major injury….and we pause for a CENA SUCKS chant. Cena: “Right now, that’s music to my ears.” Cena was supposed to be out for a year and that meant no Wrestlemania.

Some things have changed around here and in a hospital bed, he made a decision that would change everything. Now he is back for one chance just to maybe get an opportunity to go to Wrestlemania. Maybe it was luck, but he stands before you the winner of the Royal Rumble and he is going to Wrestlemania. Unless of course the people here would like to see Wrestlemania…..tonight. That gets the fans’ attention so Cena throws out the challenge to Randy Orton for the title TONIGHT.

Cue Orton to list off the people he has beaten since winning the title, which is quite the impressive collection. Cena cuts him off and says yes, Orton has beaten them all, in addition to putting him on the shelf. That’s because Orton is smart, and that’s why he is going to take this match tonight. Orton is smart enough to think that there is no way Cena has healed in four months.

Cena says Orton is too smart to let Cena have eight more weeks to heal up and make it easier to whip Orton all over Disneyland (World. Get it right.). Orton isn’t buying it and says he only defends the title if people open their wallets and pay to see it, so no match tonight….but they can do it at No Way Out. Cena is in but says he wants some tonight, so he’ll get some. This was a weird way to go, but Cena being back boosts up any show so there was no other way to start things up.

Ashley Massaro/Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall/Beth Phoenix

Mickie and Jillian start things off with Mickie taking her down for a fast two. Beth comes in to mock Mickie for crying over last week’s loss before being sent….mostly into the post. A side slam plants Mickie so Jillian comes back in, only to get rolled up for two. Mickie neckbreakers her for two but gets dropped by Beth, setting up the fisherman’s suplex to give Beth the pin (Jillian was never in).

Post match Mickie is distraught again.

Vince McMahon and William Regal are in the back where Vince makes Cena vs. Orton for No Way Out. They need a Wrestlemania match though, with Regal saying they can have THAT match with the winner facing the winner of Cena vs. Orton at Wrestlemania. Vince: “Not THAT match.” Vince lets Regal go make it.

Here is William Regal to announce that the Elimination Chamber is back at No Way Out. After a video on the match, Regal explains the concept and announces Umaga, Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, JBL, Jeff Hardy and HHH for the Chamber.

Mike Adamle announces what is coming tonight.

Cody Rhodes vs. Carlito

Hardcore Holly, Santino Marella and Maria are here too. Cody armdrags him into an armbar to start before winning a strike off in the corner. Another armdrag into an armbar doesn’t go so well but they roll with it anyway and it’s off to an arm crank to keep Carlito down. Carlito gets sent to the apron for a springboard punch to the face to send him outside. Back in and Cody gets distracted by Santino, allowing Carlito to grab a Backstabber for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not exactly good stuff here and the ending wasn’t quite inspired. At the same time, it isn’t a great sign that Carlito and Santino Marella seem to be the top challengers to the Tag Team Titles. If Rhodes and Holly as champions wasn’t enough proof, what other evidence do you need?

HHH and Shawn Michaels both want to get back into the title picture at No Way Out, but for tonight they need partners. As luck would have it, they both have their DX gear so it’s reunion time (and WWE Shop plug time).

D-Generation X vs. Snitsky/Umaga

After the usual pre-match chattering, HHH and Snitsky start things off. Hang on though as HHH grabs the mic and asks if anyone has a toothbrush, Tic Tacs, mints or ANYTHING before he has to fight Snitsky. HHH hits an early clothesline and slams his way out of trouble, meaning it’s off to Shawn. Umaga isn’t having that though and kicks Shawn off the top for the big crash. Back in and Snitsky takes us back to the 80s with the bearhug before choking in the corner. Umaga grabs his own bearhug and we take a break.

We come back with Shawn caught in the Tree of Woe and…Snitsky grabbing another bearhug. Shawn gets sent into the corner where he avoids the running Umaga attack. A DDT is enough for the tag off to HHH for the house cleaning but Umaga grabs a Samoa drop. Shawn superkicks Umaga in the back of the head and out to the floor for the dive, setting up the Pedigree to finish Snitsky.

Rating: C. Pretty paint by numbers tag match here with no drama about the result. It was more about whether HHH or Shawn would get the pin over Snitsky, as Umaga still has just enough star power to avoid taking a fall here. HHH and Shawn have much bigger deals to get to in the next few weeks and Umaga needs to be kept strong for the Chamber, leaving Snitsky getting pinned as the only way to go.

JBL comes up to Randy Orton, his partner in the main event, in the back and says they’re partners tonight but he’s taking the title at Wrestlemania. You know, assuming Orton wins at No Way Out. Orton likes the idea because he knows he can beat JBL.

Jeff Hardy is ready to get back to the title scene so he is ready to win the Elimination Chamber and go on to Wrestlemania.

Hornswoggle is in Vince McMahon’s office, where Vince berates him for being a loser.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Brian Kendrick

Kendrick charges into the ring to start and gets sent into the corner. The running boot misses but Kennedy is back up with a shoulder first ram into the buckle. Kendrick gets in a kick to the face but misses a charge, setting up the Mic Check to give Kennedy the pin.

Post match Kennedy says he wanted in the Elimination Chamber, but he’ll settle for retiring Ric Flair at No Way Out instead. Cue Flair for some WOOing.

Maria vs. Melina

Santino Marella is here with Maria. Melina takes her down early but Maria is back up with a kick to the ribs. There’s the Bronco Buster in the corner but Maria misses a charge, allowing Melina to forearm her in the back. Maria hits a gutbuster (belly buster according to JR) but misses a charge in the corner. Melina tries a rollup but only pulls Maria’s tights down, allowing Maria to sit down on her for the pin.

Post match Santino runs in and throws his shirt around Maria’s waist and rants about her wanting to be in Playboy.

Chris Jericho is ready to be serious instead of the goofy guy so he can go to Wrestlemania.

Mike Adamle gives us the No Way Out rundown.

Jeff Hardy/Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton/John Bradshaw Layfield

Jericho wastes no time in suplexing Orton down and elbowing him in the face. Double knees to the face drop Orton again and Hardy hits a very early Swanton for two, with JBL pulling Orton out. We take a break and come back with Hardy hitting a running forearm to drop Orton, who pulls him into the corner by the throat.

Orton takes him down again and works on an armbar until Hardy fights up and hits a swinging sleeper drop. It’s back to Jericho to try the Walls but he has to stop and dropkick Orton off the apron. The Lionsault gets two on JBL as everything breaks down. The Walls go on JBL again but Orton makes the save with the RKO to give JBL the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard main event tag match here with the villains stealing the pin and giving JBL some momentum heading into the Chamber. It isn’t like he has any real chance to win so boosting him up even slightly in a match like this isn’t going to hurt. It makes more sense than Orton getting the pin so at least they thought about this one.

Post match here is John Cena to lay out Orton to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t the strongest show coming out of the Royal Rumble and a lot of that is due to the lack of Jeff Hardy energy. That story was carrying the show for a good while and now that Hardy has lost, most of it is gone. Cena being back is the big deal of course, but moving the match to No Way Out in less than three weeks feels rushed to say the least. Pretty disappointing show here and that’s never fun to see.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 21, 2008
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that means we should be in for some final pushes. There is some drama to this one as HHH has to earn his way back into the match by beating someone tonight. That is a problem though as Vince McMahon hasn’t said who HHH is facing. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the traditional Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. video, as per his holiday.

We look back at Jeff Hardy jumping off a really high tower onto Randy Orton last week.

Opening sequence.

And hey we’re officially in HD.

Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy

The fans are WAY behind Shawn, even as Kennedy armdrags him into an armbar to start. Back up and Shawn sweeps the leg and grabs a headlock on the mat. That’s reversed into a battle over a backslide but Kennedy neckbreakers him onto the knee and cranks away. Shawn fights up and hits a swinging neckbreaker for the needed breather, meaning the comeback is on. There’s the forearm into a nip up and Shawn drops the top rope elbow. The threat of Sweet Chin Music sends Kennedy outside though, leaving Shawn to dive on him as we take a break.

Back with Shawn being sent hard into the corner and a running boot to the head gives Kennedy two. The Mic Check is blocked but Kennedy rams him into the corner and takes it up top. Shawn knocks him off but another elbow hits raised knees, which thankfully hurts his knee, as it should. Back up and the threat of Sweet Chin Music drops Kennedy, allowing Shawn to try his leglock. Kennedy blocks that too, but Shawn is right back up with Sweet Chin Music for the pin.

Rating: C+. The idea of Kennedy hiding from Sweet Chin Music for the whole match and then managing to escape the other finisher, only to get superkicked was a good way to go. It’s a different way to go and they made it work well here. This needs to be the end of the story though as there isn’t much else left for them to do.

Randy Orton is annoyed at Vince McMahon for wanting him to shake Jeff Hardy’s handshake. Vince tells him to get over it before saying it could give Orton a competitive advantage at the Royal Rumble. That has Orton thinking.

Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James

Non-title. Mickie loses a test of strength to start and has to counter a powerbomb. A Thesz press works a bit better for Mickie but Beth powers out of the hurricanrana from the corner. A rollup gives Mickie two and she grabs something like a choke to slow Beth down. Back up and Beth knocks her to the floor for a crash, followed by a chinlock to keep Mickie in trouble. That’s broken up as well and Mickie hurricanranas her out of the corner. Beth powers up though and drops her on the top rope before pulling it into the fisherman’s buster for the pin.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to do much but the bigger problem is that Mickie is one of the few women who could give Beth a real run for her money. The division isn’t exactly deep with talent at this point and if Mickie isn’t going to take the title, they are going to have to build someone else up in a hurry. I’m just not sure who that is going to be.

HHH makes fun of Vince McMahon’s age before saying he doesn’t care who he is facing tonight because he is going to the Royal Rumble. That is a guaran-censored-tee.

Brian Kendrick and Cody Rhodes are fired up about being in the Royal Rumble when Hardcore Holly comes in. This turns into a discussion of MySpace and Holly is lost.

Video on Randy Orton, eventually focusing on his feud with Jeff Hardy.

Hornswoggle/Finlay vs. Highlanders

Rory takes Finlay into the corner to start but he knocks Robbie off the apron without much effort. For some reason Rory goes after Hornswoggle, meaning Finlay blasts him with a clothesline. The Tadpole Splash is good enough to give Hornswoggle the fast pin.

Video on JBL vs. Chris Jericho.

Here is a more serious Jericho for a chat. Jericho talks about how he could come out here and rant and rave about how he wants JBL tonight, but that won’t work. Last week, Jericho was watching Raw with his children when JBL called him a coward. His son asked if he was a coward and for the first time, Jericho saw doubt in his son’s eyes.

JBL didn’t make a mistake when he choked Jericho and hurt his throat, but only when he didn’t finish the job. Jericho is still here and he isn’t coming to the Royal Rumble for a shot, but to hurt JBL. This was serious Jericho and it worked really well. Do this kind of thing more often, at least when it’s needed.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Vince McMahon yells at Jeff Hardy over last week’s mega Swanton and tells him to never risk himself like that. Now go shake Randy Orton’s hand. Hardy promises to give everyone something to talk about.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Brian Kendrick vs. Umaga

William Regal pops up on screen to introduce Umaga. Kendrick avoids a charge to start and strikes away but gets hit with an uppercut to cut that off fast. The running Tree of Woe headbutt misses though and Kendrick goes for some running shots to the face. This goes as well as you would expect as Umaga hits the pop up Samoan drop. The Samoan Spike sends Umaga to the Rumble fast.

Mickie James cries to Maria about losing to Beth Phoenix again. Ashley Massaro comes in and wants to talk to Maria about something she heard at the Playboy Mansion. Cue Santino Marella who doesn’t like Playboy and accidentally suggests Maria is a cow.

We look at Vince McMahon on the Celebrity Apprentice.

Video on Jeff Hardy on his way to the World Title match against Randy Orton.

Carlito vs. Hardcore Holly

Santino Marella and Maria are here with Carlito so Holly has Cody Rhodes with him. They fight over a hiptoss to start until a full nelson slam plants Carlito for an early two. Carlito takes him down as well and we hit the chinlock, only to have Holly fight up for a suplex. That earns him another takedown but Hardy is back up again and wins a slugout. Santino’s distraction breaks up the Alabama Slam though and Carlito hits the Backstabber for the pin.

Rating: C-. Another match with no time to get anywhere and that isn’t a big disappointment. You can only get so much out of these two fighting for any length of time and it isn’t like there was much of a point to this one. Nothing to see with the match, but at least Holly didn’t have a wig on.

HHH won the 2002 Royal Rumble.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: HHH vs. ???

William Regal comes out to say HHH has to beat three opponents in an over the top rope gauntlet match. First up is Snitsky, who forearms away to take over but HHH slips out of a powerslam. A running clothesline knocks Snitsky out so Regal sends out Mark Henry as the second opponent. Henry runs him over and goes for the elimination but it’s far too early for that. The splash misses for Henry in the corner so HHH tries and fails at a slam. Now the splash connects but he misses a charge, meaning Regal himself is the third opponent. Regal can’t get him out so HHH punches him in the face and hits the spinebuster. The easy elimination sends HHH on to the Rumble.

Rating: D. What else was this going to be? It was HHH winning three straight short over the top challenges against two monsters and a lackey in a suit. You can’t get much out of that and that is about as far as they got here. HHH was always going to be in the Rumble and they didn’t bother with anything overly flashy here, which was about as good as this was going to get.

Another video on Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy.

Here is Vince McMahon to oversee a handshake between Randy Orton and Jeff Hardy. Vince knows how big of a match this is going to be and has them stand face to face. Orton talks about how he was relieved when he found out he would be facing Hardy. Now though, he admits he underestimated Hardy, though Orton is leaving with the title.

Hardy doesn’t care about gaining Orton’s respect and says he has been doing these things for himself and his brother Matt. He’ll do anything to become WWE Champion and doesn’t respect Orton. Hardy goes outside and shakes hands with JR, the King, Lilian Garcia and a bunch of fans. Back in and Hardy shakes Orton’s hand, only to naturally pull him into the Twist of Fate to end the show. The handshake stuff was good and going to the fans was clever, but was this ever going to end with anything but a Twist of Fate?

Overall Rating: C-. There wasn’t much to be done here and I think they knew that coming in. With the World Title match having been set for weeks now and the Rumble not needing much more work, there wasn’t a lot that had to be done here. The Rumble should be a good show and I’m curious to see where things go after that.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 14, 2008
Location: Mobile Civic Center, Mobile, Alabama
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The rise of Jeff Hardy continues as we are less than two weeks away from his showdown with Randy Orton at the Royal Rumble. You can feel the momentum building and Hardy feels like he could actually pull off the miracle win. Why the Intercontinental Champion feels like such an underdog is beyond me, but we should be in for more of him tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s highlight reel moment of Jeff Hardy Whispering In The Wind off the top of the cage to beat Umaga.

Here is Hardy to get things going. Hardy has a chance to become WWE Champion at the Royal Rumble but he wants Randy Orton out here right now. Cue Orton to the stage to say he wants Hardy to defend the Intercontinental Title against him TONIGHT. Hardy is in and we have a main event.

We look at Vince McMahon putting Ric Flair’s career in jeopardy in case you haven’t been watching in a few months.

Ashley Massaro/Maria/Mickie James vs. Melina/Jillian Hall/Beth Phoenix

Jillian takes Ashley down and hammers away to start as commentary talks up the ring attire. Maria comes in for a scorpion kick to Melina, who chokes her on the ropes to even things up. We complete the trio of pairings as Mickie comes in with a headscissors to Phoenix as everything breaks down. Everyone else fights to the floor and Beth drops Mickie throat first onto the top rope. The fisherman’s buster gives Beth the pin.

Rating: D+. This was exactly what you would expect from it as Mickie and Beth did the only wrestling of the match while the rest of it was built around brawling and catfighting. Beth still needs a new challenger and other than Mickie, I’m not sure who could give her a serious challenge. At least it was short, but that quiet crowd tells you a lot.

Vince McMahon yells at William Regal, who promises to end Ric Flair’s tonight. McMahon whips out….an enema, which belongs in Mobile, Alabama. Snitsky comes in to say he wants to hurt Flair, but Vince gives him HHH instead.

WWE HD is coming!

Classic Royal Rumble clip: Shawn Michaels vs. the Undertaker in the final two last year. Yep that fits.

Here is Shawn Michaels for a chat. Shawn can’t believe that he has to win a qualifying match because he is the defending runner up and a two time winner. He was going to challenge Mr. Kennedy Kennedy anyway, so let’s just make that the qualifying match instead. Here’s his real opponent though.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Shawn Michaels vs. Trevor Murdoch

Murdoch strikes away to start and hits a quick atomic drop. A whip into the corner gives Murdoch two but Shawn is back with chops and a Thesz press. There’s the top rope elbow and a little dance sets up the superkick….but Murdoch is ready for it. That’s fine with Shawn, who sweeps the legs and puts on something like an inverted Figure Four for the tap.

Post match Mr. Kennedy pops up on screen to say he can’t believe how bad Shawn is at letting things go. Shawn can’t handle that Kennedy beat him and has passed him by. Someone has proven that he is better, but why would Kennedy accept the challenge for next week? Eh why not though? Kennedy is in for next week. Murdoch tries to jump Shawn and gets superkicked.

We look back at Ric Flair surviving against Randy Orton.

We look at Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior at Wrestlemania VI, I’m assuming because Randy Orton could win the Intercontinental Title tonight.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Vince McMahon is worried about Hornswoggle being in the Royal Rumble so let’s give Hornswoggle some experience tonight. We’ll have a mini Royal Rumble, with Hornswoggle in at #1 and then Mr. Kennedy, Mankind and Batista, plus some surprises. Hornswoggle knows he isn’t likely going to win the Royal Rumble but Vince chokes him anyway. That was harsh.

HHH vs. Snitsky

Snitsky kicks him in the corner to start but HHH clotheslines his way to freedom. A missed charge sends Snitsky outside and we take an early break. Back with Snitsky whipping him hard into the corner and dropping some elbows for two. The bearhug goes on and HHH actually goes down to one knee, but he’s fine enough to reverse a pump handle slam and hit a DDT. The Pedigree is countered with a backdrop over the top, with Snitsky sending him into the steps to increase the pain. A big steps shot misses though and HHH hits him with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was HHH fighting a monster and getting tired of things getting that violent so he went bit with a weapon of his own. Snitsky is fine as a monster of the week/month because he looks that evil but it wasn’t like he was a threat to HHH. I can go for something like this over Snitsky taking the Pedigree so at least they mixed it up a bit.

Post match, a sledgehammer shot and the Pedigree leave Snitsky laying again. HHH goes to leave but Vince McMahon pops up on screen to say HHH can’t keep being violent just because he isn’t in the Royal Rumble. He needs to calm down, but HHH hits the video screen with the sledgehammer to make it explode a bit.

Post break Vince yells at HHH and says he can be back in the Royal Rumble, but only if he can win next week against….someone.

Here is JBL, complete with balloon drop, to say that someone promised to return to Raw to save the show. That would be Chris Jericho, who was a complete failure. We look at JBL taking Jericho out last week and choking him with a cable. So where is Jericho now? He’s at home, recovering, where he belongs. Last week, it was like JBL was carrying everyone around this arena. Now JBL wants Jericho to talk to his children and tell them that JBL is just better. If Jericho comes to the Royal Rumble, the Savior is going to need to be saved. Pyro ensues.

HHH was both WWE and Intercontinental Champion at No Mercy 2002. Good thing they had these clips ready just in case Orton challenged Hardy tonight.

Mini Royal Rumble

We have five entrants and thirty second intervals. Hornswoggle is in at #1 and….a miniature Mr. Kennedy in at #2. Since Kennedy can’t reach the mic, Hornswoggle hits a dropkick to start fast but misses a charge into the corner. Mini Mankind is in at #3 and busts out Mr. Socko but Hornswoggle puts it in his mouth and tosses him out. Kennedy is eliminated as well so here is Mini Batista in at #4.

This one is a bit bigger and hits a spear but can’t get rid of Hornswoggle. Mini Kane is in at #5 and gets Batista Bombed, only to have Hornswoggle toss Batista. Kane hits the uppercuts and the middle rope clothesline but Hornswoggle elbows his way out of a chokeslam. The Celtic Cross lets Hornswoggle get rid of Batista…..and the real Great Khali is in at #6. Batista jumps Hornswoggle but here is Finlay to jump Khali and beat up Runjin Singh for a bonus. Singh is tossed and that’s enough for Hornswoggle to win.

Rating: D. I chuckled a few times but Vince sending Khali after Hornswoggle and having Finlay make the save was a tired idea a long time ago and now it is only getting worse. How many times can they do the same bit with these guys? Some of the minis were funny enough though so it could have been worse, but this story needs to end already.

Post break, Finlay storms into Vince McMahon’s office and yells at him, but Vince says Finlay better keep their deal. An annoyed Finlay leaves.

William Regal vs. Ric Flair

We’re joined in progress with Regal working on Flair’s knee but Flair dives over and reaches the rope. Flair shows him how to start working on the knee but lets go as soon as Regal makes the rope as well. Back up and Regal yells at the referee, allowing Flair to grab a rollup for the pin. This feels like it was cut for time.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy is defending. The bell rings and Orton kicks him low for the DQ.

Orton says we’re not done and the fight is on, with Hardy fighting back as they go up the ramp. Hardy knocks him off the stage….and then goes up onto the lighting structure. And I mean WAY up onto the structure, far higher than you would see on the top of a cage. The biggest Swanton ever crushes Orton and they’re both done in a heap. Medics tend to both of them (as commentary is SILENT) to end the show. This wasn’t as good as last week’s Whisper In The Wind but DANG Hardy was up there.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t great, but the problem with the last shows before the Royal Rumble is that the card is mostly set and the Rumble itself doesn’t need much build. Hardy vs. Orton feels like a major showdown and the Rumble will be big by definition, so that doesn’t leave much left to do on this show. Maybe next week can be a bit better, but I’m not exactly looking forward to what we’re getting.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 7, 2008
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the first Raw of the new year and we’re starting big with Raw Roulette. The show will basically be a bunch of Spin The Wheel Make The Deal matches and that should make for some interesting options. I say should because it probably won’t, but at least they’re doing something. Oh and there will be a lot about Ric Flair, because we need to do that as often as possible. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event with William Regal costing HHH a spot in the Royal Rumble, but Ric Flair’s career was saved again.

William Regal is in Vince McMahon’s office and tells him that the fans are expecting something big from Raw Roulette on the first Raw of the year. Vince goes over some of the options and you can hear the salesman in him, which is where he tends to shine. As for HHH, Vince wants to see him injured so Regal can face him tonight. We spin the wheel and it’s…..First Blood. Regal seems to approve and leaves, only to get jumped by an angry HHH.

Opening sequence.

Here are Shawn Michaels and Mr. Kennedy and the wheel gives them….a Strange Bedfellows match, meaning they’re going to be partners!

Shawn Michaels/Mr. Kennedy vs. Charlie Haas/Trevor Murdoch

We’re joined in progress with Kennedy dropping Haas for two but Shawn tags himself in and throws Kennedy outside. Then Haas goes to the floor as well, puts on a superhero mask, declares IT’S TIME, and gets slingshotted back inside. Murdoch gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and a clothesline gives him two.

Haas comes back in but gets dropped, only to have Kennedy bail to the floor to avoid a tag. Shawn doesn’t seem to mind and rips Haas’ mask off before starting the comeback. Sweet Chin Music knocks Murdoch off the apron but Kennedy tags himself in, just before Shawn superkicks Haas as well. The Mic Check drops Shawn and Kennedy pins Haas.

Rating: C. Haas and Murdoch were little more than props here and that isn’t the worst idea. What mattered here was keeping Michaels vs. Kennedy going and it wouldn’t surprise me to see them have their big blowoff at the Rumble. The wrestling wasn’t the point here and in this case that’s ok.

Carlito vs. Hardcore Holly

Trading Places match, meaning they’re dressed as each other, but we don’t even get to see the spin of the wheel, which is the best part of the show. Santino Marella and Cody Rhodes are here too, but hang on as Holly has trouble with his big afro. It doesn’t stay on long but Carlito uses the distraction to stomp away and take over. Carlito hits a chop in the corner but Holly shows him how it’s really done to start the comeback. There’s the dropkick so Santino offers a distraction. Since it’s Santino, that doesn’t exactly go well as Holly intercepts the apple and spits it in Carlito’s face. The Alabama Slam finishes for Holly.

Rating: C-. This was mainly there for the visual gag of Holly in a wig so there was no need to have the match get any kind of time. There isn’t much to the tag division at the moment but would Carlito/Marella be huge underdogs against Holly and Rhodes? Carlito in a blond wig was a bit confusing as he did look like Holly, so they got half of the visual quite right.

Maria spins the wheel for her match and it lands on submission match, but Vince McMahon changes it to a lingerie pillow fight. For some reason, Vince feels the need to explain the concept. This results in Maria making a joke about having natural pillows.

Video on Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy, including Orton kicking an injured Matt Hardy last week.

Jeff Hardy promises to take Randy Orton out.

Vince McMahon has Hornswoggle spin the wheel and gives him a talk about….I have no idea as the audio is all screwed up, with JR apologizing for the issues.

Post break we see a repaired version of the video, which saw Vince put Hornswoggle in the Royal Rumble, but first he has to qualify. It’s a Mr. McMahon’s Choice match, so we’ll have a tag match with Hornswoggle getting to pick his partner, with the winning team qualifying. Finlay isn’t here, but Hornswoggle seems confident.

Maria vs. Jillian Hall vs. Mickie James vs. Melina

Lingerie pillow fight, meaning there is a bed with a bunch of pillows on it provided. Lawler: “Why do all of these Divas have all of this great looking lingerie with them every week?” Hold on though as we have a surprise bonus.

Maria vs. Jillian Hall vs. Mickie James vs. Melina vs. Ashley

Jillian and Melina try to hide under the bedspread and get beaten up with the pillows. Maria gives Jillian a Bronco Buster and Mickie tries to powerbomb Melina onto the bed. We get some “vicious” pillow attacks and Jillian is tossed into Melina. Ashley drops an elbow for the pin.

Rating: D-. It’s a good example of a match where the concept is obvious but it’s just so dumb that the charm was lost. Everyone is just oh so happy to be out there with their friends and it comes off as so stupid. There is enough talent in there to get over without this stuff and it’s annoying to have to see.

Super Crazy turns down Hornswoggle’s offer to team up but Hornswoggle sees someone else off camera who gets his attention.

HHH vs. William Regal

First blood. HHH wastes no time in taking the brawl to the floor but misses a toss with the steps. Regal posts him head first and they head back inside where a turnbuckle pad is taken off. Right hands and a knee drop stay on the face but HHH is back with a facebuster. A kick to the head drops HHH again and the fans are all over Regal. The brass knuckles shot is broken up with a spinebuster, allowing HHH to unload with right hands to bust Regal open for the win.

Rating: C. This was short and to the point but mainly just made me want to see these two have a regular match. You can’t do much in a five minute First Blood match but HHH pounding on Regal’s face until it was busted open was quite the visual. Regal is a good lackey who can fight and he wasn’t squashed here, but a First Blood match needs more time than this.

Post match HHH hits a Pedigree.

Video on Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton.

Santino Marella turns Hornswoggle down too because he doesn’t want Vince mad at him and small people freak him out. Hornswoggle is dejected.

We recap JBL vs. Chris Jericho, which stems from Jericho being annoyed at getting bumped into. Then they yelled at and punched each other a lot.

Chris Jericho comes to the ring and finds out that he is in a handicap match.

Chris Jericho vs. Snitsky/John Bradshaw Layfield

Snitsky hammers away in the corner to start but gets caught with the running forearm. Some stomping has Jericho in more trouble but he’s back up with the triangle dropkick to the floor. The brawl with JBL is on outside, at least until JBL hits him with the bell for the fast DQ.

Post match the beatdown continues, with JBL pounding away and choking with a microphone cable. JBL even drags him up the aisle by the cord to make things extra violent.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Highlanders vs. Hornswoggle/BH Jordan

Jordan is a rather skinny guy but hang on as someone comes out to take his place.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Highlanders vs. Hornswoggle/Mick Foley

Foley hammers away at Robbie to start and it’s off to Hornswoggle for a running kick to the face. Rory comes in for a faceplant but a slide through the legs allows the tag off to Foley. The Highlanders actually take him into the corner to start up the double teaming. Foley fights him off like he’s Mick Foley beating up the Highlanders, including the Mandible Sock to Rory and a double arm DDT to Robbie. Hornswoggle comes in with the tadpole splash for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing wrong with Foley coming in to save Hornswoggle from a low level team. Foley in the Rumble in the Garden will be nice and Hornswoggle has been featured far too much lately to not be around in some way. They kept it quick here and the fans were into Foley so it went well enough. That being said, egads the Highlanders fell fast, despite not even being that high up in the first place.

The cage is lowered, as the stipulation was already set.

Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Non-title in a cage and Randy Orton is watching from ringside. Umaga runs him over to start but misses a sitdown splash. A jawbreaker staggers Umaga and he misses a charge into the cage in the corner. Back up and Umaga launches him into the cage but Hardy hangs on in an impressive counter. It’s too early to go over the top though as Umaga pulls him back down for a crash as we take a break.

We come back with Umaga working on a nerve hold for a good while. A backdrop into the cage rocks Hardy again and Umaga splashes him up against the cage for a bonus. Hardy manages a few right hands so Orton throws in a bunch of chairs to give Umaga weaponry. A chair to the back has Hardy in trouble but he’s fine enough to crotch a climbing Umaga on top. Springboard Poetry In Motion drives Umaga into the corner but the Twist of Fate is easily blocked.

The running hip attack misses though and Hardy LAUNCHES a chair at Umaga’s head to stagger him again. A DDT onto a chair gives Hardy two but Orton slams the door on his head to cut off the escape. The Samoan Spike is blocked though and now the Twist of Fate connects. Hardy goes up, sees Orton waiting on him below, and dives off the cage with a Whisper In The Wind to knock Umaga silly for the pin.

Rating: B. That’s almost all for the finish as otherwise it was a run of the mill cage match with some good spots. What mattered here was Hardy coming off like a superhero with that Whisper in the Wind and Orton looking scared of what is waiting on him at the Rumble. I remember watching this live and being completely sold on Hardy beating Orton. It had me needing to see the title match because I knew Hardy could win. That’s a nice feeling to have and it worked to perfection here.

Overall Rating: C. The main event is more than enough to carry the show, but the Raw Roulette stuff was only so good. They didn’t even show some of the spins and the matches didn’t exactly blow anyone away. What matters here is Hardy, as Orton is starting to realize he could be in trouble and that feels different for him. I liked parts of the show, but the Rumble itself needs some more build. More on that next week, but for now, it’s all about Hardy and that’s really cool to see.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 3, 2007
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are less than two weeks away from Armageddon and the Raw main event seems to be Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton for the Raw World Title. Other than that, we have HHH vs. Jeff Hardy and odds are that is going to get the majority of the attention this week. I’m not sure what that is going to entail but let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Here is Chris Jericho to get things going. Jericho is back and wants a title match, which is why he cost Randy Orton a match against Ric Flair last week. Then after last week, Jericho felt a tingle in his pants because of this. We see a clip of Orton agreeing to the title match after Raw last week and Jericho is rather happy.

Cue Orton, who lists off all of his recent victims but Jericho says that just like beating Rock and Austin in one night, that means nothing right now. Violence is teased but here is William Regal to say the two of them can pick the other’s opponents tonight. Orton picks Umaga to face Jericho while Jericho makes Orton vs. Shawn Michaels.

Maria/Mickie James vs. Melina/Beth Phoenix

Maria takes Melina down for an early two but Melina is back up with some shots to the face. Beth comes in to power her into the corner but stops to bring in Mickie. They slugout is on until Beth pulls her off of the top for the crash. With Maria knocked down, it’s a fisherman’s buster to finish Mickie, making me wonder what the point was to this one.

Shawn Michaels says tonight, the WWE Title isn’t on the line, but Sweet Chin Music is all legal. Mr. Kennedy pops up on a monitor to tell Shawn to be ready for their match at Armageddon. He promises a blast from the past that could break Shawn’s heart.

Here is Mr. Kennedy for a chat. He wants to get to know Shawn a bit more so he has invited some of Shawn’s friends and rivals. We’ll start with someone Shawn won’t share the spotlight with: Marty Jannetty (that’s not Marty Jannetty), Razor Ramon (that’s not Razor Ramon, though he does get in a Hey Yo) and Diesel (that’s not Diesel). We need the man himself though, but that’s not Shawn Michaels. They get to describe Shawn, including words like egotistical, chump and traitor. Kennedy threatens the fake Shawn but gets cut off by the real thing. House is cleaned with Kennedy leaving for the staredown from the floor.

Next week: Raw’s 15th Anniversary.

Vince McMahon, with Coach, is on the phone in his office and announces that Hulk Hogan will be here next week. Other names include Trish Stratus, Mick Foley, Eric Bischoff (Vince: “ERIC BISCHOFF???) and Hulk Hogan but here is Hornswoggle to interrupt. Vince has him sit down because he has something special for next week: the official McMahon Family Portrait. As for tonight, Vince isn’t happy with Hornswoggle surviving his tough love attempts, but since Finlay isn’t here tonight, we’ll see how the Luck of the Irish does against Coach/Carlito. The bosses leave and Hornswoggle pulls out a phone.

We look back at HHH and Jeff Hardy working together last week before being told they will be facing off at Armageddon.

William Regal comes in to see HHH and talks about the logic behind the match with Hardy. Speaking of that match, we’ll sweeten the pot a bit by making it for the WWE Title shot at the Royal Rumble. Since that title means so much to HHH, maybe he’ll use that anger on Hardy. HHH says he doesn’t hate Hardy, but he would Pedigree his mother, grandmother or father in law to be WWE Champion again.

Umaga vs. Chris Jericho

We actually join this in progress with Jericho in control on the floor and taking him back inside for some elbows to the head. Umaga sends him outside though and it’s a splash for two back inside. The nerve hold goes on for a bit, followed by a superkick to send Jericho into the corner. The running hip attack misses though and Jericho manages a knockdown of his own. Jericho’s running dropkick into the Lionsault gets two and the Codebreaker (now named) connects but Randy Orton runs in to jump Jericho for the DQ.

Rating: C+. These two can work well together but my goodness Umaga has fallen a long way. There is only so much you can do with a monster who keeps losing over and over. He didn’t even take a pin here, but rather than being something that mattered, he was just there to make Jericho look good. It happens to most monsters though, and that is the case again here.

Post match Orton lays Jericho out with the RKO.

Hornswoggle vs. Carlito/Jonathan Coachman

No DQ and hold on though as Hornswoggle has hired protection for this match. Cue the APA to wreck Carlito and Coach, setting up the Tadpole splash to finish Coach fast.

Post match Bradshaw says they’re open for hire and plugs Smackdown, with Simmons adding the catchphrase.

Snitsky wants the Intercontinental Title and to hurt Jeff Hardy in the process.

Intercontinental Title: Snitsky vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy is defending. Snitsky knocks him down fast and drops an elbow before choking away in the corner. We hit a double underhook crank to keep Hardy down but he avoids the running legdrop. A quick Twist of Fate into the Swanton retains the title.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but were you expecting anything else from Snitsky getting a title shot? That is the kind of thing you see happen when someone no shows a house show. Hardy getting a win is a good thing as his rise up the card continues, and you know that he is coming for the main event scene a lot sooner rather than later.

Post match Snitsky kicks him in the face but HHH comes in with the sledgehammer for the save. HHH teases hitting Hardy but helps him up instead.

Smackdown Rebound.

Armageddon rundown.

Jillian Hall comes in to sing for Vince McMahon, who isn’t impressed. William Regal comes in to tell him that Stephanie McMahon is on her way.

Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

Non-title. The chase is on to start with Shawn catching him in inside and starting the stomping. The headlock slows Orton down but he’s back up with an elbow to the face. Back up and Michaels grabs an ankle lock of all things to put Orton in trouble. Orton rolls out to the floor for a breather and we take a break.

Back with Shawn clotheslining him out to the floor but missing a superkick, which hits the timekeeper by mistake (Shawn has a bad record with that). Back in and Orton stomps away and we hit the chinlock with a bodyscissors. Shawn fights up and hits a slam into the top rope elbow but has to dive onto an invading Kennedy. They fight into the crowd and Shawn is counted out (because a DQ isn’t an option for some reason).

Rating: C+. This is another match that is going to work almost no matter what because they have some good chemistry together. They weren’t going to have either of them take a fall here as they both have big matches coming up at Armageddon, so this was a matter of waiting on either Kennedy or Chris Jericho interfering. Granted it was a nice match on the way there, but it was waiting.

Post match Kennedy and Shawn brawl into the crowd as Chris Jericho runs in to jump Orton.

Stephanie McMahon comes in to see her dad and points out that he has invited a bunch of people who hate him for next week. She doesn’t want to see him get beaten up again so please don’t put yourself in that place. Vince: “I LOVE CONFRONTATION!” He also promises to name the greatest Raw star of all time.

Overall Rating: C+. They are making me more interested in the pay per view than just about anything else they have done on Raw in the last little while so something is going right. I’m not sure how long that is going to last but at least we are getting some nice television on the way there. Just find a way to keep it going and WWE could be going somewhere.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 26, 2007
Location: Bobcats Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 6,900
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with the holiday week and the big story coming out of last week is the return of Chris Jericho. You can see the Raw main event of next month’s pay per view from here but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. Jericho is an instant main eventer and someone to give Orton a challenge, though he might have some rust to shake off first. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Jericho’s return last week and his challenge to Orton for a Raw World Title shot.

Opening sequence.

HHH/Jeff Hardy vs. Snitsky/Umaga

Hardy and Snitsky start things off with Hardy being sent straight into the corner for the tag off to HHH. Some shoulders to the ribs slow HHH down but he avoids a charge and goes shoulder first into the post. That lets HHH start in on the arm before both villains are sent to the floor. Hardy dives onto the two of them but gets caught, meaning HHH has to knock the three of them down as we take a break.

Back with Umaga hitting Hardy with the swinging Rock Bottom and Snitsky coming in to crank on both of Hardy’s arms. An elbow to the face drops Hardy and Umaga adds a spinwheel kick for two. The neck crank goes on for a bit before Hardy flips out of Snitsky’s pumphandle slam. A dropkick into the back allows the hot tag to HHH so house can be cleaned. Everything breaks down and Snitsky is sent out to the floor. HHH clotheslines him out over the barricade and Jeff hits a Whisper in the Wind on Umaga. The Pedigree into the Swanton finishes for Hardy.

Rating: C. They didn’t have much drama here and that isn’t the biggest surprise. Hardy is on a roll and HHH is HHH so they shouldn’t be having trouble with Snitsky and a rapidly decreasing Umaga. Hardy seems ready to move up to the next level and being around HHH, in one way or another, is a good way to do that.

Post match here is William Regal to say he wants to see both of them fighting at Armageddon, and they’ll just do that against each other (with the clarification that it will be non-title).

Ric Flair arrives and Lawler thinks he might have a special announcement.

Here is Flair for a chat. Flair seems serious and that he has an announcement to make. The fans here have always been so good to him, as has every city he has ever competed in, the world over. He has been gone for six months because everyone knows that his career can’t go on forever. That’s why he has gotten involved in a lot of other things, but there will be a time when he has to retire. Right now though, he is announcing…..THAT HE WILL NEVER RETIRE! He loves this business and is going nowhere but here is Vince McMahon to interrupt.

Vince said Flair had him going and hopes that Flair goes on forever….as long as he keeps winning. That’s exactly what he said: Flair can keep wrestling as long as he keeps winning, but once he loses, his career is over. Vince: “Good luck Ric, and I hope you don’t die anytime soon.” Vince goes to leave but here is Randy Orton to interrupt. Orton thanks Flair for everything over the years, both in and out of the ring. He also thanks Flair for the pleasure of ending his career tonight, so Vince makes the match for tonight.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Highlanders vs. Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly/Super Crazy/Jim Duggan

Robbie works on Crazy’s wrist to start but Crazy pulls him over to Duggan to take over. The arm cranking ensues until Cody gets elbowed in the face. Cade comes in to knee him in the ribs and it’s off to Murdoch to work on the arm. That’s broken up and Cody sends Murdoch arm first into the post, allowing the hot tag to Holly. Everything breaks down and the Alabama Slam finishes Robbie as Duggan, again, never tagged in.

Rating: C-. As usual, there is only so much you can do with a match like this as they had a lot of people and not much time to use. Holly and Rhodes working well together is somewhat interesting and it isn’t like there are any other teams around to get in the way of their title shot. Duggan never actually tagging in is kind of a funny deal for him, as it isn’t like his team is going to go anywhere anyway.

Jeff Hardy has had fun teaming with HHH but he hesitates to call them friends. HHH comes in to say he doesn’t do the friends thing and at Armageddon, Jeff is in the ring with the Game.

We look back at Shawn Michaels superkicking a chair into Mr. Kennedy’s face last week.

Mr. Kennedy has a copy of the new Shawn Michaels Heartbreak and Triumph DVD but doesn’t sound overly impressed. He talks about Shawn losing matches but also his smile, which is a good lesson. Shawn also whines a lot as he keeps his main event spot in spite of a bunch of young, hungry wrestlers. There are some highs and lows, but Shawn’s lowest point will come when he faces Kennedy.

Ric Flair is in the back with Arn Anderson and Barry Windham for the surprise cameos.

Here is Chris Jericho, who is here to save us from Randy Orton and become WWE Champion. Everyone but Orton gets this and that is because Orton has the IQ of a kumquat. Jericho makes it simple by saying “me want title match.” He even has visual aides with a photo of himself (Me), Cookie Monster (Want), the WWE Title (Title), and a match (Match).

Jericho wants an answer but gets Santino Marella instead. Marella calls him KYJ but Jericho can’t get his name right either (Sandusky? Santana? Santa Maria?). Finally Santino snaps and shouts his name, with Jericho managing to get it. Santino says he’s ready to beat Jericho up so Jericho wants a referee out here right now. Hold on as Santino needs to warm up, meaning he decks Jerry Lawler and we take a break.

Santino Marella vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho kicks him into the corner and chokes a bit to start, setting up a suplex. The triangle dropkick puts Marella on the floor but he’s back in with a neckbreaker for two. The chinlock goes on but Jericho is right back up. An atomic drop and bulldog set up the debuting Codebreaker for the pin to finish Santino.

Rating: C-. Nothing much to see here other than “hey Jericho wrestles too”. Oh and that new finisher thing but I can’t imagine it goes anywhere. Jericho still looks weird with the hair but the charisma that he has is more than enough to make up for anything that is off with his look. Marella continues to become one of the most annoying things in WWE and that is a good thing to have around.

Post match Jericho has Lawler come in the ring to beat on Santino a bit. Jericho jumps on commentary as Lawler drops the middle rope fist for the feel good beating.

Shawn Michaels wishes Ric Flair good luck and gives him a pep talk. Flair promises to go out in a blaze of glory, which has Shawn thinking.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Brian Kendrick

Kennedy shoves him around to start and shrugs off a dropkick. Some stomping in the corner sets up a Downward Spiral to put Kendrick away fast.

Post match Kennedy challenges Shawn Michaels for Armageddon.

Smackdown Rebound.

Hornswoggle is in Vince McMahon’s office, with Vince going over Hornswoggle’s recent luck. Finlay has been around a lot in those moments though, and that’s why Vince is giving Finlay a match with Great Khali at Armageddon. As for Hornswoggle, Vince sends him to get an ice cream sandwich. With Hornswoggle gone, Vince grabs a walkie talkie and says “Mr. Rogers Has Left The Neighborhood. Repeat: Mr. Rogers Has Left The Neighborhood.”

We cut to Hornswoggle with a box of ice cream sandwiches, but then he sees a sign for FREE ICE CREAM SANDWICHES. He goes into the room, where Carlito is waiting. Hornswoggle is scared, but pulls out some spray paint and paints a hole in the wall. He runs through said hole, and disappears. Then Carlito tries to do it and hits his face on the wall. Ron Simmons cameoing ensues. Eh Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner did it better. The breaking the laws of….I guess matter, not the cameoing.

Mickie James vs. Melina

The winner gets a Women’s Title shot at the pay per view so Beth Phoenix is at ringside. Feeling out process to start until Melina kicks her in the face for an early one. Mickie takes her into the corner and tosses her back out though, setting up the Thesz press for two. A hurricanrana out of the corner sets up the MickieDT to finish Melina fast.

The roster applauds Ric Flair on his way to the ring. HHH shakes his hand and hugs him, telling Flair to show them who he is.

Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton

Non-title and Flair’s career is on the line. Flair chops away to start and drops Orton with an elbow to the face. Back up and Orton punches his way out of the corner, setting up the backdrop to put Flair down again. That means the circle stomp is on but Orton misses the big knee. He settles for a dropkick to take Flair down again though and we hit the chinlock.

Flair fights up and gets clotheslined to the floor, where Orton suplexes him for a bonus. The headlock goes on back inside but Flair is out again, this time starting in on the leg. The Figure Four is locked in the middle of the ring (the fans are WAY into this) but Orton makes the rope. Orton hits the RKO for two, with Flair grabbing the rope as well. A bunch of right hands to the head have Flair in more trouble but here is Chris Jericho to distract the referee. Flair uses said distraction to get in a low blow and rollup (with trunks) for the upset pin.

Rating: C+. This is a good example of a match that wasn’t anything of note on its own but was boosted up by the crowd’s reactions. The fans were into everything that Flair was doing and that is enough to move things up all the higher. The ending gives Orton some protection and should further set up the already set Jericho title match so at least they got somewhere with the result.

Overall Rating: C-. Forgive me for not being thrilled with a show that featured all kinds of Flair praise and Hornswoggle running through a hole in the wall. The rest of the show was pretty lame as well, as Raw continues to trail pretty far behind Smackdown week to week. Jericho vs. Orton should be good, but this show has me worried about how the top stories for this show are going to go in the next few weeks.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 19, 2007
Location: Bank Atlantic Center, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Survivor Series and the big Raw story is that Randy Orton retained the Raw World Title over Shawn Michaels. That means Orton is going to need a new challenger and as luck would have it, the SAVE US deal is going to be revealed tonight. That could mean….ok even the fans are already chanting the name so this isn’t much of a surprise. Let’s get to it.

Here is Survivor Series if you need a recap.

A running man is carrying a torch through the streets.

Opening sequence.

Here is Shawn Michaels for a chat. There is no reason to wait on it, so Shawn invites Randy Orton out here to shake his hand. Orton pops up on screen to say he isn’t coming out there and getting superkicked again. Shawn: “All right, all right, you got me. If you came out here, I was going to kick you again.” Shawn also wants a rematch, but Orton says no because he has already proven that he is the better man. That is why the torch bearer is on his way from Miami to Fort Lauderdale, as we are going to be seeing the torch passed.

Cue Mr. Kennedy to charge the ring and go after Shawn so the fight is on. Shawn wants a match but Kennedy says Shawn is best known for losing over and over in big matches. Or just losing his smile. Cue William Regal to say ring the bell and here’s a referee as we take a break. Back with the bell not ringing and the fight continuing on the floor. They fight into the crowd with Kennedy getting the better of things. Kennedy grabs the chair but it gets superkicked into his face to wrap things up. Just a brawl and not a match.

Jerry Lawler vs. Santino Marella

Hold on, as Marella wants the referee to watch Lawler’s punches. Instead, Lawler hits a dropkick and Marella isn’t sure what to do. Santino is right back with a whip into the corner but Lawler reverses and hammers away at the ribs. A missed charge puts Lawler in trouble again though and Marella heads outside to put on Lawler’s crown. Marella promises to beat Lawler like a government dog and makes jokes about puppies. The jokes finally go on too long and Lawler hits him in the face, setting up a hiptoss. A backslide of all things gives Lawler the pin.

Rating: C-. Yeah what were you expecting here? Lawler is the definition of a feel good match that has almost no impact on anything, but he can still make his stuff look passable enough. Marella is someone who can get back to whatever he needs to be doing with a few words so Lawler pinning him is hardly some career death. Let the fans have a bit of a smile and no one gets hurt.

Post match Randy Orton runs in and takes Lawler out with an RKO. Orton has an update on his torch runner, who is now at the arena where he beat Shawn Michaels at last night. Orton: “It feels like yesterday. Wait a minute. It was yesterday.”

Mr. Kennedy says he was out there to show Shawn Michaels some respect but he got superkicked for his efforts. Kennedy looks rather disturbed by the whole thing but thinks it is because Shawn knows his career is evaporating. Shawn sees talent in Kennedy that he wished he himself had so now he is trying to hold Kennedy down. That won’t happen though because Father Time is going to catch up with him. Next time, Shawn doesn’t have to worry about Father Time, because he has to worry about Mr. Kennedy.

We recap Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle, with Finlay coming in for the save.

Vince McMahon asks William Regal and Coach about how great Survivor Series was. They talk about how scared Hornswoggle was but the mention of Finlay doesn’t sit well with Vince. Cue Carlito, who liked the tough love Vince showed Hornswoggle last night. Vince gives Carlito Hornswoggle tonight. That sounds cool.

Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Non-title. Hardy slugs away to start to limited success, as Umaga headbutts him out of the corner. A pair of dropkicks work a bit better for Hardy but Umaga shoulders him out of the air without much effort. The nerve hold goes on…and it stays on….and on, until Hardy gets taken into the corner. A missed charge lets Jeff have a breather but Umaga shoves him off the top and into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with the nerve hold on again, followed by another nerve hold as this continues to be lame. Some chest kicks and a spinwheel kick give Umaga two and the spinning release Rock Bottom gets the same. The fourth nerve hold sets up the missed middle rope headbutt and the missed running hip attack in the corner gives Jeff a breather. There’s the Whisper in the Wind for two but the Swanton misses for a crash. The Samoan Spike is countered into a Twist of Fate to send Umaga outside, setting up the big dive. Cue Snitsky of all people to jump Hardy for the DQ.

Rating: D+. It was a long match, but come on already with that many nerve holds. Crank on the arm, pull on the leg or just hit Jeff for a bit but find out something other than the same hold four times in a match. Then after all that, we get something for the sake of Snitsky being in there again. How happy I am to see this schnook get reheated. Again. For the 14th or so time.

Post match the double beatdown is on until HHH makes the save and clears the ring.

SAVE US! Tonight.

Jeff Hardy thanks HHH, who calls himself the Good Samaritan of WWE. He’s always there to help someone in need and of course no one buys this. In reality, he doesn’t like Umaga and Snitsky trying to be the bada**** of WWE. He and Jeff Hardy have nothing in common, much like himself and Tod Grisham, who seems to like transvestites. JR: “That’ll be on WWE.com.”

Cody Rhodes vs. Hardcore Holly

Rhodes takes Holly into the corner to start and gets chopped for his efforts. Some slams have Rhodes in trouble and it’s time to kick away at him on the ropes. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Cody fights up with right hands and a Russian legsweep. The Alabama Slam is loaded up but Cody reverses into a DDT for the pin.

Post match Randy Orton comes out for an RKO to both of them. We get another update on the torch runner: now he’s in Fort Lauderdale!

JR reluctantly introduces us to a Randy Orton tribute video, at least on his last few months.

Finlay comes in to see Vince McMahon and seems a bit serious. Threats seem to be made about Hornswoggle’s safety but Vince doesn’t like surprises. Vince says he’s just as Irish as Finlay but won’t say where he was born. They’ll go have a drink after the show, with Finlay saying someone Vince’s age needs hot milk. Finlay is joking, but Vince doesn’t seem pleased.

Ric Flair is back next week. Yay.

Mickie James/Maria vs. Jillian Hall/Melina

Before the match, Jillian mocks a singer who did a duet with Lilian Garcia, even though no one likes that “Mexican talk.” Then Jillian sings what she seems to think is Spanish and it doesn’t go well. Maria flips out of a wristlock to start and hits Melina with a Bronco Buster. Melina knocks her down and hands it off to Jillian for a 450. That’s fine with Maria, who pulls Melina into the way instead. It’s off to Mickie for a neckbreaker and the Long Kiss Goodnight for the fast pin.

Carlito vs. Hornswoggle

No DQ. Carlito is nice enough to drop to his knees before the test of strength but does shove Hornswoggle down. The chase is on outside, with Hornswoggle stealing JR’s cowboy hat and handing it off to Lilian Garcia. Carlito chases him under the ring but Hornswoggle comes out the other side with a bucket of water. That earns Hornswoggle a shot to the face but here is Finlay to take Carlito out. Hornswoggle is dropped onto Carlito for the pin.

Rating: D+. Yeah you can only get so much out of something like this as they didn’t have time and it wasn’t supposed to be anything serious. Finlay getting a face turn out of Hornswoggle is already more interesting than most of what we saw with Vince and Hornswoggle so I’ll take what I can get. Now just get somewhere with it and it could be worthwhile.

Post match Hornswoggle spits apple on Carlito.

The torch runner arrives.

Here is Randy Orton for his big moment. Orton talks about how there is no one left to face him because he has beaten everyone there is to beat. Now it is time for the torch to be passed to him and here is the torch runner in the arena. Said runner is clotheslined down by someone who appears to be a short haired Chris Jericho doing a Chris Jericho pose.

The SAVE US video plays, and yes, it is in fact Chris Jericho. He confirms that he is back and is happy the people remembered him. Jericho invites us to tilt the seats back and go into overdrive because it is time for pure entertainment. Orton brings up taking Jericho out and wants to know what he is saving us from. Jericho: “Your boring personality for one.” Jericho gets to the point: he is coming for the title and nothing will ever be the same a-gain. Orton isn’t happy to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show is built around the Jericho/Orton stuff and Jericho is a good way to go for the next challenger. Other than that though, this wasn’t the best show, other than setting up HHH and Hardy doing whatever going forward. There are a few intriguing things coming up, but it might take a bit to make them work. Not a great show here, but they did plant some important seeds.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 5, 2007
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,133
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Survivor Series and now that the Smackdown main event has been announced, you have to expect the Raw counterpart will be set up soon. The big story tonight is a one night reunion of D-Generation X, as HHH needs some help deal with Randy Orton and Umaga. Sounds Survivor Seriesish to me. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Fabulous Moolah.

Opening sequence.

Here is D-Generation X to get things going. After a fairly long entrance, HHH says this is for one night only and asks if we’re ready. The catchphrase is loaded up but a crotch chopping Hornswoggle interrupts. HHH: “Well that’s…different.” HHH tells him to get back under the ring but Hornswoggle doesn’t listen. Shawn is asked for a run sheet and, after going through all of his merchandise, finds said sheet in his boot (Shawn: “In case I forget what I’m supposed to do.”).

The sheet says DX PROMO in segment one at 9PM (HHH: “East coast time.”) and Hornswoggle isn’t on until the short segment. Hornswoggle then armdrags Shawn into an armscissors (with HHH pointing out that it is the SHORT armscissors). Shawn: “I’m going to make a judgment call here: for tonight, he’s in.”. Hornswoggle doesn’t want to go under the ring because there’s a monster under there.

Shawn goes to look….and is pulled under. He comes back up with worms in his mouth so here is the Boogeyman. HHH hands him a mic, with Boogeyman saying “I’M THE BOOGEYMAN, AND I’M COMING TO…..see if I can join DX.” Shawn makes another executive decision and lets Boogeyman in again so here is Great Khali as a bonus. Shawn: “To keep me from turning into a human Slim Jim, let’s pretend he isn’t here and move on.” HHH goes into an Indian impression that would get him thrown off the air today but now it’s Coach interrupting.

HHH isn’t having this and tells Runjin Singh what Coach said about Khali earlier. Shawn, who CAN’T LIE, backs HHH up and Khali chases Coach to the floor. Everyone else leaves, with Shawn saying he doesn’t know who writes this anymore but this is the worst thing he’s seen since that Katie Vick thing. HHH: “I don’t think anyone writes this crap. They’re on strike.” Catchphrases are hit to wrap up the wackiness.

Actor Luke Perry is here. There are some kids around him, and if one of those is his son, we have seen the wrestling debut of the future Jungle Boy.

We look back at Kelly Kelly winning last week’s Halloween battle royal and getting destroyed by Beth Phoenix after.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Non-title and Phoenix grabs a release fisherman’s suplex for the pin in less than a minute. Well so much for Kelly for the time being, which is how it should go in this situation.

Santino Marella knows that Steve Austin will be here tonight and mocks Austin’s acting abilities. He even throws in a paper bag, so Austin can act his way out of it.

Carlito vs. Joey Munoz

Hold on though as Carlito says he isn’t wrestling so here is a replacement.

Snitsky vs. Joey Munoz

Pumphandle slam finishes Munoz in about thirty seconds.

Post match Snitsky kicks Carlito in the face and gives him the pumphandle slam too. Time for another Snitsky push it seems.

We get a Jeff Hardy video set to Rooftops by Lostprophets. This is actually on Peacock despite it being a music video and the Lostprophets singer being a monster. That aside, this is a heck of a video, with the lyrics about screaming and dropping bombs being timed to shots of fans screaming for Hardy and Swantons. You can tell something big is coming for him and that is a very good idea. Ignore Jerry Lawler being heard asking “how long is it” after the video starts.

For Survivor Series: Team HHH (HHH/CM Punk/Kane/Jeff Hardy/Matt Hardy) vs. Team Umaga (Umaga/MVP/Mr. Kennedy/Finlay/Big Daddy V).

Mr. Kennedy/Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio/Jeff Hardy

JR dubs Hardy and Mysterio as the WWE Air Force. Hardy and Finlay go to the mat to start until a Kennedy distraction lets Finlay hit a clothesline to the floor. We take a break and come back with Mysterio hitting a springboard crossbody on Kennedy, only to have him run Mysterio over.

It’s Finlay coming back in to go after the knee, including a half crab. The legdrop onto the knee makes it worse and Kennedy adds a right hand for two. Mysterio is back with something like a DDT, allowing the hot tag off to Hardy to clean house. The Whisper in the Wind hits Kennedy but Finlay makes the save. Rey 619s Finlay to the floor, leaving Hardy to hit the Swanton for the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard midcard tag match here with the wrestlers involved being good enough to make almost anything work. Mysterio vs. Finlay is set up for a blowoff on Friday while Hardy vs. Kennedy seems to have run its course. That being said, throw in the video package before the match and it is hard to imagine they are waiting much longer on giving Hardy the main event push, which seems to have been set up for a few weeks now.

Maria tries to tell Santino Marella that Steve Austin is here but he doesn’t buy it.

Here are Maria and Santino Marella for a chat. Santino mocks the Condemned, then he mocks the Condemned’s director, then he mocks the Condemned again, then Steve Austin comes out. Austin corrects Santino’s errors in his catchphrases and then asks about the Condemned again. Santino really did hate the movie and turns down a beer, saying he would rather have a glass of red wine. Austin hands him a copy of the Condemned but Santino can’t watch it again.

There’s the Stunner, allowing Austin to put the DVD in Santino’s mouth. Austin thinks Santino is thirsty and goes to the back before coming out driving a beer truck. Santino gets sprayed down and, despite her begging, so does Maria. Beer is consumed to wrap up a segment that wasn’t funny and felt pretty out of character for Austin. I know he needs to promote a DVD, but that just doesn’t feel like an Austin thing.

SAVE US!

Vince McMahon is in the back with Hornswoggle and takes the blame for the trouble Hornswoggle has had with Jonathan Coachman. McMahon even has a way for Hornswoggle to prove himself at Survivor Series…..when he faces Great Khali.

Survivor Series rundown.

HHH is in the back and has been asked to talk because they need to fill in time while Steve Austin’s mess is cleaned up. Shawn Michaels comes in to say he has it set, so here are the DX Dancers….which is Big Dick Johnson. HHH isn’t impressed but Shawn says he’s a father of two so the only cool thing he knows is Dora the Explorer. Don’t worry though as HHH has The Girls Next Door (from a Playboy reality show, meaning Shawn leaves with his eyes covered). Dancing ensues and it’s very strange to see HHH…..I guess it’s dancing but I’m not sure.

Lance Cade sends Mickie James away for talking to Trevor Murdoch.

Trevor Murdoch vs. Cody Rhodes

Ignore Lilian Garcia saying Lance Cade (at ringside) is in the match by mistake. Hardcore Holly is here too and Rhodes is sent to the apron to start, where he gets in a shoulder to the ribs. Murdoch breaks that up and takes him down for a chinlock as Lawler and JR make as many redneck jokes as they can. Rhodes fights up and hits a bulldog into a knee drop for two but Cade’s distraction fails. Murdoch misses a charge into the corner though and Rhodes grabs a sunset flip for the pin. Not much to this one but Rhodes wins again.

Tribute video to Fabulous Moolah. This includes a rundown of her career highlights, such as becoming the first woman to wrestle in Madison Square Garden. I guess she wrestled herself that night.

Jim Duggan/Super Crazy vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Before the match, Duggan and Crazy chant SI/HO over and over. Haas knocks Crazy over to start and hits a slam before handing it off to Benjamin. More slamming abounds as Duggan continues to play cheerleader on the apron. Benjamin knocks Duggan off the apron but Crazy grabs a rollup (with trunks) for the pin. Duggan never tagged in but he does pat Crazy on the head after the win.

Umaga/Randy Orton vs. D-Generation X

It’s a brawl on the floor to start with Orton being sent into the announcers’ table before being thrown inside. Umaga comes in to miss a sitdown splash on Michaels, allowing HHH to grab a surprisingly effective DDT. HHH gets knocked outside though and we take a break. Back with Umaga missing a charge in the corner, allowing the tag off to Orton. That’s fine with HHH, who drops Orton almost immediately.

Michaels comes back in for the usual comeback, including the forearm and top rope elbow. Umaga isn’t having that and runs Shawn over, allowing Orton to bring Umaga in for real. Some right hands keep Shawn down in the corner and it’s back to Orton for a dropkick. The circle stomp sets up the running Umaga splash and we’re off to the nerve hold.

The middle rope headbutt misses and an enziguri to the shoulder (not sure that’s how that works) allows the hot tag back to HHH. Everything breaks down and Umaga saves Orton from the Pedigree with the Spike, setting up the running hip attack in the corner. The RKO is countered with a shove into Umaga though and Shawn comes in for a quick superkick to pin Orton.

Rating: C+. Much like the other tag match, they played the formula here and it still works, as everyone involved can do this style rather well. Shawn vs. Orton II should be a good showdown at Survivor Series, while Umaga vs. HHH at least has the team format to keep things a little more fresh. The DX reunion was good for a night, but I don’t need to see it again going forward.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m not sure what this show was but it didn’t exactly work. Maybe it is due to Survivor Series coming up so soon, but this felt like a weird side trip rather than a show designed to help set up the pay per view. There were so many short matches that didn’t add much and it was a weird night all around. The DX reunion was fun but the Austin cameo fell pretty flat, leaving this as a not very appealing two hours. Much more strange than good this week and that isn’t a positive thing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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