Monday Night Raw
Date: October 8, 2007
Location: Van Andel Arena, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with No Mercy and Randy Orton is the new WWE Champion, having been awarded, losing and regaining the title in quite the rollercoaster of a night. Orton is going to need a new challenger now and that means we might be in for something interesting this week. Let’s get to it.

Here is No Mercy if you need a recap.

Here is Vince McMahon to get things going. He brags about living up to his word last night, when he guaranteed a new WWE Champion and a WWE Championship match. Well we had three WWE Championship matches and history was made. We get a package on the HHH vs. Randy Orton title matches (Umaga is omitted, which makes sense for Vince) before Vince guarantees that history be made again tonight. Every wrestler is going to come out here and shake Orton’s hand to wish him well. The next title defense will take place at Cyber Sunday, with Vince explaining the concept.

Cue HHH to interrupt and to tell Vince to shut up. These fans don’t care about Cyber Sunday because they care about tonight. That’s why HHH is invoking his rematch clause and he wants Orton this week. Vince advises him against it but says sure he can have his rematch….but we’ll throw in Umaga as Orton’s partner in a handicap match.

Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall vs. Mickie James/Candice Michelle/Maria

Maria takes Melina into the corner so Mickie can start working on the arm. A missed charge in the corner lets Melina get in a shot of her own though and it’s Beth coming in to throw Mickie around. Melina comes back in for a chinlock before handing it off to Jillian. Mickie kicks both of them away and the hot tag brings in Candice to clean house. Everything breaks down and Candice reverses a handspring elbow into a victory roll to finish Jillian.

Rating: C-. This was a way to rebuild Candice after her loss last night but it is pretty clear that her time as a serious title contender is over. Phoenix is a new breed of champion and she is going to need a more serious challenger. Out of the people here, that would pretty much just be Mickie, but for now it seems like we have to get Candice’s rematch out of the way.

William Regal has brought in some new stuff to spruce up Coach’s office, but Coach says that Elton John and George Michael are “queens” just like Elizabeth. Regal’s eyes are bugging out of his head but Vince McMahon comes in to say it’s ok. The two of them are supposed to keep an eye on Hornswoggle but they’re not sure where he is.

Video on last week’s Cyber Sunday.

Santino Marella vs. Val Venis

Fallout from Venis mocking Santino last week. Hold on though as Santino drops to the floor and says he can’t wrestle, but he has a replacement.

Snitsky vs. Val Venis

Snitsky goes straight to Venis’ bad knee and kicks at it in the corner before dropping a knee on the knee. A clothesline sets up the pumphandle powerslam to finish Venis fast.

Evander Holyfield is fighting on Saturday so here’s what he did on Saturday Night’s Main Event a few months back.

SAVE US!

John Cena joins us via satellite from Florida and says that he will be out of action 7-12 months. Lawler suggests Cena is glad he didn’t have to fight Randy Orton last night so Cena makes a Cleveland Indians joke, because he’s that horrible of a person. Cena is looking forward to seeing Orton have to shake everyone’s hands tonight and he’ll be back soon.

Randy Orton/Umaga vs. HHH

Non-title, though I thought this was HHH’s official rematch. The villains don’t have to tag here but HHH manages to send Umaga outside. A DDT plants Orton but Umaga gets him outside and starts hammering away. Back in and the double stomping is on as HHH’s banged up ribs get banged up even more. A dropkick puts HHH down and Umaga gets to stay on the ribs. HHH fights up and tries a fast Pedigree on Orton but has to send Umaga into the post. The spinebuster drops Orton but Umaga comes back in with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C. They were working while it lasted but it didn’t last long. HHH gets screwed over and likely gets to continue his feud with Umaga, which does make sense as HHH was a last minute replacement opponent for Orton. It’s not like they have any current issues so let HHH destroy Umaga again in some kind of a brawl at Cyber Sunday while Orton fights….someone.

Post match Orton hits the RKO on HHH and Umaga crushes him even more, including the Samoan Spike. Referees have to help get HHH out but he shoves them away….and falls down.

Post break and HHH is still being helped out. That’s a pretty big injury angle.

In the back, Vince McMahon tells HHH that he has to be first to shake Randy Orton’s hand.

Highlanders vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

The highlanders are sent outside to start and taken down by a double dive as JR says London and Kendrick were Smackdown Tag Team Champions for well over a year. Well over, not quite over, same thing. Back in and London has to fight out of a chinlock, allowing the hot tag to Kendrick so house can be cleaned. Rory makes a save so London takes him to the floor, leaving Robbie to avoid a charge in the corner. A rollup with feet on the ropes gives Robbie the fast pin as the heel turn is on. Not likely to go anywhere, but it’s on.

The Diva Search girls had some rapid fire questions. Next week: search and rescue.

Coach can’t find Hornswoggle.

Lilian Garcia sings the title track from her Quiero Vivir album. After the song, Santino Marella comes in, praises “Jillian’s” song, and proceeds to sing his own song about how Steve Austin can’t act. Apparently this is set to Amy Winehouse’s Rehab.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Kennedy works on a headlock to start but Hardy runs him over with a shoulder. A flipping legdrop misses though and Kennedy gets two off a northern lights suplex. Jeff knocks him to the floor though and there’s a ram into the apron to make it worse. A missed dive only hits barricade though and we take a break.

Back with Kennedy working on a half crab but Hardy fights out and goes up top. Kennedy breaks that up with a dropkick and we’re right back to the half crab. With that broken up, Hardy kicks off a Figure Four attempt so Kennedy chop blocks him back down. The knee is fine enough to hit the running sleeper drop but Kennedy’s rollup, with feet on the ropes, gets two. Hardy is back with the sitout gordbuster but the Swanton misses. Kennedy goes for a lazy cover, which is countered into a crucifix to give Hardy the pin.

Rating: C+. This was the best and longest match on the show, which shouldn’t be a surprise given that the talent was there too. I’m not sure I get why Hardy is pinning Kennedy if he is going to be the next challenger, but I’ll take some slightly sketchy logic over the champion losing. Or maybe they go in a different direction than Kennedy as the challenger, which may be the case for Cyber Sunday.

Vince McMahon tells William Regal to have everyone at ringside, including Hornswoggle. Regal says Hornswoggle is having a nap but Coach comes in to say he can’t find Hornswoggle anywhere. Then Hornswoggle pops up out of a trunk, seemingly having just woken up. Regal and Vince leave so Hornswoggle beats up Coach.

The roster is on the stage, with Vince McMahon in the ring to tell them all to show respect to Randy Orton. Cue Orton to stand on a platform in the ring, where he says no one deserves to be champion more than him. He is perfect at everything he does and he sees a lot of jealous faces on the stage. This dynasty has only just begun and he will be WWE Champion for a long time to come.

Now HHH needs to get down here and say “good luck champ”….but there is no HHH. Vince demand that HHH come out here right now but instead, Orton is sent to go get him. Orton goes to get him….and it’s Shawn Michaels, looking far more grizzled than before (the cowboy hat looks thinner). The fight is on, with Shawn taking Orton down and then hitting Sweet Chin Music. Shawn is rather fired up and glares at Vince to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Shawn’s return at the end was good and gives them a fresh main event that can get Orton over harder as the new champion. Other than that though, it seems that they are still trying to figure out what to do with Cena gone, which is going to take some time. The wrestling wasn’t very good for the most part and I’m not sure how well the angles are going to go with Cyber Sunday being such a wild card. Not the most thrilling show here, though it’s good to have Shawn back.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 20, 2007
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and the main event has been set for a long time now. Randy Orton attacked WWE Champion John Cena at Saturday Night’s Main Event so now we need another match set up. There are a few people with nothing else to do so they need to do something with them this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Randy Orton is already in the ring and Tazz is replacing Jerry Lawler after King Booker took him out last week. Orton tells us to take a good look, because this is the last time you are going to see him without the WWE Title. Last week it was the start of the beginning of the end, which sends us to Orton RKOing John Cena through an open chair on Saturday Night’s Main Event. That was so good that Orton wants to see it in slow motion and from different angles. For some reason he only gets the latter but seems pleased anyway.

That footage is going to replace Hogan slamming Andre and the Montreal Screwjob as the most played clip in WWE history. That move is going to end Cena’s reign, but Orton would understand if Cena couldn’t make it to Summerslam. Rumor has it that he isn’t even here tonight but if Cena is here, he can come forfeit the title right now. Instead, Orton gets Vince McMahon, who doesn’t want to hear about the title match because some woman is out there hiding his illegitimate child.

Today, he found out that the child is male, which means a son of superior genetics. If Vince didn’t know Orton’s dad, he would hope that his son would be someone like him. All his other two kids want his MONEY, which isn’t what Orton would be after. Vince thinks they will find out who his son is here tonight and he hopes the people welcome him. These people are all horrible and want to see Vince taken down, just because some offspring wants his money. Vince hopes his son isn’t like John Cena, who has no dignity…and Cena is in the back.

Cue Cena to the ring, where he says he hopes he isn’t Vince’s son because he would be ashamed for Vince to be his father. With Orton behind the barricade, Cena says Orton has a message of his own because he is here tonight. He’ll be at Summerslam, where he will retain the WWE Title. Vince says Cena might be lying, but if he doesn’t show up, he will be stripped of the championship.

Speaking of stripping, that might bring Vince to Cena’s mother. Vince says he spent a lot of time in new England and he very might have “done your mom”. Cena punches him in the face so Vince and Orton bail together. Hold on though as Vince isn’t going to stand for this. That’s why Cena can face Snitsky, which has Cena looking a bit nervous.. This was a long bunch of talking to set up a main event and reveal that the child is a son.

Rey Mysterio is back on Sunday.

Mickie James/Candice Michelle vs. Melina/Beth Phoenix

Hold on though as here is William Regal to say that we will have a Divas battle royal at Summerslam, with the winner facing Candice for the Women’s Title at some point in the future. Mickie and Candice get jumped before the bell and Beth gives Mickie a slingshot suplex. Melina comes in but Mickie slips over and brings in Candice to clean house (and scream a lot). Phoenix’s interference doesn’t work and Candice gets something like Kofi Kingston’s SOS to pin Melina

Post match the mini battle royal breaks out, with Beth being the last woman standing. Tazz: “She’s like a Glamazon!”

Santino Marella, with his arm in a sling, comes in to see William Regal to complain about Ron Simmons and Maria going on a date. Marella complains about Regal’s accent, saying he sounds like a “limp wristed hairdresser.” Regal tells him not to mess with the date so Marella says he’s off to get a cappuccino.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell are ready for his official crowning tonight and invite HHH to be their guest.

Vince McMahon and Coach talk about Vince’s possible son, but write off the idea of it being HHH. Val Venis pops up to say HELLO DADDY, with Coach saying it would explain Val’s other career. They keep walking, with Vince blaming Shane McMahon for a lot of his troubles over the years. Daivari comes in to call Vince papa and puts his head covering on Vince’s head. Vince scares it off and they run into Mr. Kennedy but they keep walking this time. He wants it to be someone who has great wealth…and we’ll just cut it off there.

Cody Rhodes vs. Shelton Benjamin

Charlie Haas is here with Benjamin. Cody takes him down by the arm to start but gets pulled to the mat without much effort. The chinlock with a knee in the back has Cody in more trouble but he fights up with some dropkicks. A bulldog gives Cody two and the snap jabs follow. Benjamin hits another backbreaker but the Boston crab is countered into a rollup to give Cody the pin.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go very far but Cody stringing some wins together is a way to get him established with the crowd. That’s about all you can hope for with someone as generic as Rhodes still is. While that might work well for him, it is still a bit rough to see this happen to Shelton. He really did seem ready to be one of the next big things and here he is instead.

Post match Haas and Benjamin beat Cody down and leave him laying.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Non-title. Cade drives Kendrick into the corner to start and grabs a headlock. That doesn’t work very well as Kendrick is back up with a dropkick. It’s off to London for an armdrag, followed by another armdrag to Murdoch. An armbar doesn’t last long so Cade comes back in as everything breaks down. Cade and Murdoch are sent outside for the stereo dives, with Kendrick slamming head first onto the floor for a scary crash. Thankfully he seems to be ok, so here is Cryme Tyme to sell Murdoch’s hat to the crowd. The distraction lets Kendrick grab a crucifix for the pin as the hat sells for two dollars.

Rating: C+. These teams work well together as you have some talented people who know how to work well together. Losing to London and Kendrick is hardly some shocking upset and it furthers Cryme Tyme’s claim to a title shot. They’re turning this into a little something, with Cryme Tyme’s charisma certainly taking it a long way. Nice match too, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

We now go to Ron Simmons and Maria on a date at a sports bar and grill. Simmons will have CLAM chowder with his LAMB, along with some bread and JAM. Cue Santino Marella with Jillian (or Lilian, according to him) Hall and of course they’ll join them. Oh and Simmons gets a vegetable, so he’ll have YAMS.

It’s time for King Booker’s coronation, with Queen Sharmell handling the introductions. Last week, Jerry Lawler was supposed to crown him but that did not happen. Instead, Lawler announced his opponent for the Summerslam Games, Hunter Hearst Helmsley (He used his real name!). We see Lawler getting beaten down last week before Booker calls the city by the wrong name. Booker orders HHH out here right now….and it’s a guy in a bad HHH costume, complete with the fake nose (he looks like Jason Sensation as Owen Hart).

Fake HHH crowns him but Booker wants to talk to James Ross. This does not concern Tazzwell so he can leave. Booker yells at Ross over what he said last week, while losing a bit of the accent. Ross is in trouble, but he can make up for it by kissing the royal ring. That won’t happen, but Sharmell shoves his face onto it, which is enough for Booker. I was expecting more violence. And more from Fake HHH. This was something with a few ideas but they didn’t go anywhere.

Post break, Ross says it’s Game On for Booker at Summerslam.

We go back to the date, where Jillian Hall is singing Whitney Houston. Maria didn’t realize they had karaoke here, but she just brings that microphone with her. A “fan” comes up to ask for Santino Marella’s autograph on a program, which is unfortunately from the waist up because it doesn’t showcase Santino’s…uh, bulge. The fact that he is reading this from a piece of paper isn’t lost on Maria. Ron Simmons: “SHAM!”

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana, with Umaga as the guest. Carlito gets right to the point: we’re almost to Summerslam but he doesn’t have a match. He wants the Intercontinental Title shot, but here is Mr. Kennedy to interrupt. Carlito: “Not you again.” Kennedy thinks he should get the title shot, because he has beaten Bobby Lashley, which even Umaga hasn’t done. If anyone deserves the title shot at Summerslam, it’s MR. KENNEDY (which takes quite awhile to say). Umaga thinks it takes too long and superkicks Kennedy down before wrecking the set. Cue William Regal to make Carlito vs. Kennedy for the title shot right now.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito

We’re joined in progress with Carlito taking him down by the arm and pounding on the shoulder. Kennedy gets sent outside but comes back in to take Carlito down instead. The chase on the floor doesn’t go very far and it’s Carlito hammering away back inside. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Kennedy’s back but he pops up with a backdrop.

Carlito’s clothesline doesn’t even get a count because Kennedy’s shoulders aren’t down but a suplex does get one. Kennedy misses a middle rope elbow so they trade rollups with trunks for two each. Back up and Carlito kicks/hits/springboard elbows him in the face, only to miss a charge into the post. They head back outside, with Kennedy hitting a running kick to the ribs against the steps as we take a break.

We come back with Carlito being sent into the corner, setting up some boot scrapes. That doesn’t go well for Carlito, who is back up with a posting of his own. Carlito’s dropkick gets two but Kennedy catches him on top. The super Regal Roll is broken up so Carlito hits a superplex, setting up the always stupid “let’s randomly throw our legs together” for a small package and the double pin.

Rating: C-. This was long and I don’t know how dramatic the ending was. It wouldn’t have made sense to have either of them go over the other so this was about as good as it could have been. The ending didn’t help either, as it’s one of those ending that can only make sense when they are working together and that isn’t a great visual.

Post match, William Regal makes the triple threat title match. That was so fast it was almost anticlimactic.

HHH is back at Summerslam.

Back at the bar, Santino Marella threatens Ron Simmons, who calls the referee over (SAM!). As luck would have it, the waiter’s tray of food winds up on Santino, giving us Simmons’ main catchphrase. Kind of a lame ending, but Simmons has been great.

Summerslam rundown.

Vince McMahon is in the back with Melina, who apparently looks rather fetching in Divas Magazine. Snitsky comes in to say he never knew his parents, but he knows how to inflict pain. He promises to cause Cena pain and calls Vince dad.

We look back at John Cena slapping McMahon earlier.

John Cena vs. Snitsky

Non-title. Cena gets powered into the corner to start but avoids a charge. A bulldog just seems to avoid Snitsky, who kicks Cena in the head to take over again. Snitsky clotheslines him hard to the floor and there’s an elbow to cut off the comeback attempt. A double underhook crank works on both of Cena’s arms but Cena powers out. The ProtoBomb looks to set up the FU but here is Randy Orton with the RKO for the DQ.

Rating: C. It’s another match designed to be nothing more than a way to set up the finish, but Snitsky continues to look like a monster. One thing I did like here was the ending didn’t have Snitsky completely done, leaving him just enough of an out. I can’t imagine Snitsky can reach anything higher than a monster to be slayed, but at least he did well in a short match here.

Post match, Orton hits another RKO and stares at the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They’re in a weird place with the Summerslam build as Cena vs. Orton is set, but the second biggest Raw match involves someone who hasn’t been around for seven months. That has left the logical but only so good Booker vs. Lawler feud, with Lawler not being around this week either. The Vince drama is enough to fill in the gap, but the red half of Summerslam is feeling very single note after this show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 13, 2007
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 16,827
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time to go back to the company’s home and it always feels special to be in Madison Square Garden. We are less than two weeks away from Summerslam and the John Cena vs. Randy Orton showdown, but we need something to get us through a few more shows. We’ll start with a bizarre pairing of Cena/Umaga vs. Orton/Carlito, which should make for an interesting main event. Oh and Vince McMahon might have another kid. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Vince McMahon returning last week on a pretty bad night before being told that he has a paternity suit being filed against him over another McMahon child. I still remember that airing live and being intrigued.

Opening sequence.

Wrestlers from all three rosters are around the ring as Vince McMahon comes out. Vince says he has had a few dalliances over the years but he doesn’t even remember this woman. To make it worse, the woman is withholding the name of the illegitimate child, which makes this pure extortion from a woman who should have been on the pill.

We see a WHO’S YOUR BABY sign in the crowd and you know the fans are chanting that. Vince knows his family supports him and he hopes the fans will support him, because this could happen to any red blooded American male. He has been in the public spotlight for thirty years and nothing bothers him…but here is Stephanie McMahon to interrupt.

She wanted to do this in private but that can’t happen now. Stephanie claims that Vince abandoned his family, but Vince thinks she just wants her piece of the pie. She didn’t want to do this in public but she will anyway. Earlier today, she talked to the mother and has found something out: the child is a WWE star, and they’re here at ringside. Vince looks around the ring and suddenly looks rather nauseous. As Vince leaves, he has a staredown with Mr. Kennedy, which the fans seem to like. He also looks at Mark Henry, who kind of shakes his head. There’s your big angle and yeah, this is intriguing.

Bobby Lashley had shoulder surgery this week and blames Mr. Kennedy.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Sandman

I’m not sure why they went to the back instead of just staying in the ring but WWE can do some weird things at times. Kennedy works on the arm to start but Sandman swings away with left hands. It’s time to go up top but Kennedy crotches him, setting up a super snapmare. The Regal Roll gives Kennedy the fast pin.

Vince McMahon is ranting about having a wrestler for a kid to Coach, who has a plan: they can go through the entire roster and figure this out. First up, Coach needs to know when Vince became sexually active. Vince: “Well I was ALMOST a teenager.” Coach says this could be anyone on the roster, so here is Ric Flair to say WOO as Vince appears to have a headache.

Video on Randy Orton taking out Shawn Michaels.

William Regal is dressed as Simon Cowell for WWE Idol. First up, JBL and Michael Cole are here, in costume, to sing a Hall and Oates song. JBL isn’t impressed and yells, but Maria and Ron Simmons pop up for a distraction. Their date is next week, so here is Santino Marella to complain. He has a plan though: sing a song so romantic that Maria will come back to him. They leave, so Simmons gets to hear JBL and Cole sing Rich Girl. Cole asks Simmons about his favorite 80s band. Simmons: “WHAM!”

Here is Cryme Tyme and they have a special deal for us tonight: Lilian Garcia’s chair! Cryme Tyme even autographs it and get….$1000! That’s not too bad, and they get a match too.

Cryme Tyme vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Non-title and joined in progress with Shad in the wrong corner and getting chopped rather loudly. Some knees to the ribs set up a chinlock until Shad powers up to drive Murdoch into the corner. The hot tag brings in JTG to clean house, with a legdrop getting two. Everything breaks down and there’s a high/low to JTG…but Shad BLASTS Murdoch in the back with the chair for the DQ.

Rating: C-. They barely had enough time to make this go very far but at least they did something to make Cryme Tyme look good. The stealing/selling stuff is an idea and it fits their characters rather well. Odds are we are going to get a title match out of this sooner than later and that should make for a good pay per view showdown.

More Randy Orton, this time taking out Rob Van Dam.

HHH is back at Summerslam.

Snitsky vs. Robbie

Pumphandle slam finishes Robbie in about 20 seconds.

Post match Snitsky beats up Rory as well.

Vince McMahon talks to Coach about how he challenged himself to do it in every state, including in a corn field in Nebraska and on an iceberg in Alaska. Coach says they could do a DNA test of all the wrestlers but that would take a few weeks. Instead, they could go over his dalliances and cross reference them to know more by this weekend’s Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Cody Rhodes pops up to say he knows who his father is and gives Vince a condom, just in case. Vince tells Coach to remind him to sue Trojan’s magnum division…and here’s Boogeyman to sing Cat’s In The Cradle, which is about spending time with your father. Coach: “He does appear to have your eyes.”

And now, WWE Idol. We have a panel of judges, including William Regal, Maria (who judges host Todd Grisham because she thinks he’s a contestant) and Mick Foley (“I will do almost anything for money”). The first contestant is Jillian Hall (who has Mick’s attention), who sings her own version of Memories from Cats. Mick is glad he lost part of his ear, Maria says her singing was……well she looks really pretty! Regal: “Perhaps I should change tonight’s main event to Roe vs. Wade because that was an abortion.”

Next up is Nikolai Volkoff/the Iron Sheik (with Howard Finkel), singing the Russian National Anthem. Granted Sheik doesn’t actually sing but Maria stands up. Regal: “It’s a shame that Sheik didn’t lose his voice in this building like he lost the WWE Title!” Sheik yells about Regal joining Vince McMahon’s special club and Regal is AGHAST. He ejects Regal so here is Lilian Garcia to sing New York, New York.

Santino Marella interrupts, saying New York is missing a prostitute. He sings That’s Amore, which Foley says was almost as painful as watching Marella wrestle. Santino tells Maria that they’ve leaving but she isn’t done judging. Cue Ron Simmons to beat Santino up, which is enough music to Regal’s ears to name him the winner. This was WAY funnier than the Dating Game and Regal’s lines were amazing.

Video on Randy Orton taking out Dusty Rhodes.

Cody Rhodes vs. Charlie Haas

Shelton Benjamin is at ringside. Cody grabs a rollup for an early two but Haas snapmares him over for a kick to the back. The neck crank goes on before Haas starts going after the arm. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Haas goes with an overhead belly to belly for two instead. Another chinlock is broken up and Rhodes grabs a hot shot. Rhodes hammers away and hits a dropkick (JR: “Cody learned that from his mother!”), setting up a high crossbody for two. With that not working, Cody grabs a small package for the pin.

Rating: C-. This is the way to build Rhodes up as he needs to prove that he can get a few wins. Haas isn’t hurt by a loss, especially in a singles match, and Rhodes gets a boost. It’s such an easy and logical way to go but for some reason it seems lost on so many promotions. In other words, follow the Cody model.

It is time for King Booker’s official coronation, with Jerry Lawler having to crown him after losing to Booker last week. Booker orders Lawler to put the crown on, dropping the accent as Lawler takes too long. Lawler doesn’t like being told that Booker is the only true king, so there will be no crowning. As a bonus, he has been talking to the bosses, and Booker will be having a match at Summerslam, against this man. We see a HHH video and Booker is not happy. The fight is on and Booker CLOCKS Lawler with a TV monitor.

Post break, Lawler is being tended to by medics and Todd Grisham takes his place.

Summerslam rundown.

Randy Orton took out Sgt. Slaughter too.

Here is Randy Orton for a chat before the main event. John Cena is having the longest WWE Title reign in nearly twenty years, but Orton ends careers. He is taking the title, but he is also going to end Cena’s career for good.

Randy Orton/Carlito vs. John Cena/Umaga

It feels like they hit the Random button to set this up. Orton and Umaga start, which is kind of a weird pairing. Umaga hammers him down in the corner but misses a charge so Carlito can come in. Everything breaks down for a bit and the villains are cleared out so we can take an early break. We come back with Cena pounding on Carlito until he charges into a raised boot in the corner.

Carlito sends him outside to keep up the beating and it’s back to Orton for the dropkick. A neckbreaker gives Carlito two and we’re off to the chinlock. Cena finally powers out of trouble but Orton isn’t about to leg Umaga back in. The knee drop misses though and it’s right back to Carlito, who actually wins a slugout. Orton grabs a chinlock of his own but Cena is right back up again. A backdrop sends Carlito flying and it’s Umaga coming in to clean house. The running hip attack hits Orton and Carlito’s Backstabber completely fails. Instead, Cena comes in for the FU to finish Carlito off.

Rating: C. This was a way to sit around waiting until we got to the big tag to Umaga. There was something to be said about watching Umaga clean house, as he is the kind of screaming wrecking ball monster that you don’t get to see too often. I don’t know if it is going to last long, but at least it worked well for one night.

Vince McMahon kind of liked going over all of his indiscretions with Coach, including one time with two flight attendants on a flight to Detroit. Then Linda McMahon comes in and tells Vince he no longer has a home to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The push towards Summerslam continues and you can see a lot of the card, but there are still some holes that need to be filled. I’m sure we’ll get some of those things covered next week, though it would have been nice to do some of them a little bit earlier. That being said, the McMahon stuff is enough to make up for some of the problems, as a big Vince story can be one of the best things WWE does. Another not great show, but Summerslam delivering could make up for a lot of these problems.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 6, 2007
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We have less than a month to go before Summerslam and that means we need to keep going towards John Cena vs. Randy Orton. Other than that, we might be seeing more of King Booker vs. Jerry Lawler, which actually didn’t wrap up after one week. Maybe we get something else set up this week, which might be a good idea. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Vince McMahon returned earlier today and wants the roster out in the arena. As a citizen of the United States, he will be exercising his freedom of expression tonight.

Opening sequence.

Here is the entire locker room, so Vince McMahon joins them. Vince says the last time he was on Raw, he was blown to smithereens. We see a clip of said blowing and said smithereens, which is how Vince wanted to go out. Why though? Well that’s because Vince wanted to stage his own demise so he could see how people felt about him. Vince is going to talk about some things he doesn’t like, such as the United States Congress and some members of his family. We’ll get to that later, because right now, we’re going to have a battle royal, with the winner becoming the new General Manager (Coach does NOT approve).

Battle Royal

Trevor Murdoch, Umaga, Beth Phoenix, Maria, Candice Michelle, Melina, Mickie James, Rory, Robbie, Jim Duggan, Sandman, William Regal, Mr. Kennedy, Super Crazy, Lance Cade, Val Venis, Paul London, Brian Kendrick, Carlito, Cody Rhodes, Shelton Benjamin, Shad Gaspard, JTG, King Booker, Daivari

That’s either everyone or almost everyone. Umaga scares off Phoenix, Maria, Michelle, Melina and James before throwing Murdoch out as well. Crazy, London, Robbie and JTG are all put out by Umaga in a hurry and Booker joins then due to excessive yelling at Jerry Lawler. Umaga tosses Gaspard as the ring is a lot more clear. We take a break and come back with Haas having been eliminated during the break and Rory joining him after the commercial.

Venis dumps Cade but gets knocked out by Umaga, who goes after Kendrick…and they eliminate each other in a weirdly sudden ending for the guy who had dominated so far. Kennedy is tossed as well as Umaga Samoa Spikes Haas on the ramp. We’re down to Sandman, Rhodes, Duggan, Benjamin, Carlito and Regal, the latter of whom is on the floor without being eliminated (uh oh).

Carlito and Benjamin get rid of Duggan and it’s time for the final four (or so) to pair off. Rhodes skins the cat to save himself but Carlito tosses him anyway. Sandman goes up for no logical reason, allowing Benjamin to run the corner and superplex him back down. Benjamin and Carlito go to the apron for a fight so Sandman knocks them out, only to have Regal come in from behind and toss Sandman for the win and the job.

Rating: C-. The best thing I can say about this is that it went by fast, but at the same time it had the most annoying battle royal ending imaginable. That being said, I can go with more Regal on TV every single week because he really is someone who could be used in a bigger way. Not much of a match, but a good result.

Post match Regal, who has one boot off, does some Hindu squats, because the ankle injury he claimed earlier in the match was A RUSE!

In the back, Coach is unhappy with Regal winning the match but Vince McMahon goes on a rant about the letters he has received from two different Congressional committees. He talks about President Benjamin Franklin before telling Coach that he is Regal’s assistant. Now get the Earl Grey ready.

Video on HHH, who is returning at Summerslam.

King Booker doesn’t like HHH calling himself a king because he is just a pretender. Jerry Lawler is a pretender as well, which Booker will prove when he beats Lawler tonight. That is why Booker has set up a ceremony next week at Madison Square Garden, where the loser has to crown the winner.

Snitsky vs. Rory

Pumphandle slam finishes Rory in less than thirty seconds.

Coach brings Vince McMahon a phone call from his counselor. Apparently the IRS is investigating Vince too, so the media will have a field day. Vince says the media and wrestling are both in the entertainment business. He storms off….and IRS is reading a newspaper.

Jillian Hall comes to the ring for her match and offers Lilian Garcia a chance to hear with her…but no one wants to hear Lilian sing. Jillian starts singing Hit Me Baby One More Time but gets cut off.

Jillian Hall vs. Mickie James

Mickie gets taken down for a double arm crank to start but flips her way to freedom in a hurry. A neckbreaker gives Mickie two but Jillian catches her on top. What would become the Skull Crushing Finale finishes James in a hurry.

Coach meets with William Regal….who wants him to set up the WWE version of the Dating Game. Oh and get him some tea.

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana. Things went so well on the debut episode that he thought he would have the same guest this week. Cue John Cena, who looks rather serious as he gets in Carlito’s face. Carlito gets shoved into the chair and Cena is going to be hosting this himself. Cena interviews himself, saying that he isn’t happy with an apple being spat in his face last week.

We see a clip, with Cena asking himself about the other guy at ringside last week. That would be Randy Orton, so Cena says the Champ Is Here and still will be at Summerslam. Other than that, Cena has three reasons why he shouldn’t trash the show and beat up Carlito. After two jokes about Carlito’s sexual practices, the fight is on but here is Orton for a distraction. That doesn’t work so here is William Regal to say that Randy Orton and Carlito are going to get to pick Cena’s opponent tonight.

Post break, Carlito and Orton pick Umaga to face Cena tonight. The two of them leave and Vince McMahon thinks his wife and kids wanted him gone. That means he needs to get them back together and nothing can stop him.

Jerry Lawler vs. King Booker

Queen Sharmell is here with Booker and the loser has to crown the winner next week. Booker powers him into the corner to start but Lawler punches him out to the floor in a hurry. Back in and more right hands put Booker in more trouble but he knocks Lawler down for two. A kick to Lawler’s face sets up some stomping and we hit the overhand wristlock. Booker kicks him down again and the chinlock goes on. That’s broken up again and Lawler punches him out to the floor, where he punches even more. Lawler stops to glare at Sharmell though, allowing Booker to hit the ax kick for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was closer to what I was expecting last week, but Lawler had almost no fire throughout the entire thing. Booker winning was the only way to go with the big HHH match seemingly on the horizon. The ending just kind of came and went too, making this quite the weak match.

We look at Mr. Kennedy injuring Bobby Lashley last week.

JR tells us that Lashley needs shoulder surgery and will be out of action.

Here is Mr. Kennedy for a chat. Kennedy asks what Bobby Lashley is hearing right now. It is something everyone will be hearing from now on: KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY1 KENNEDY! And we go to a break.

And now (oh boy) it’s the Dating Game. We have three eligible bachelors, Jim Duggan (who hides his wedding ring and has a massive piece of wood), Ron Simmons and Santino Marella, and a contestant, Maria. She gets to ask a bunch of questions, including why how Duggan does with managers. Duggan: “I won’t call you a HOOOOO!” Ron Simmons would make her SPAM in bed. Santino says it’s him, but Maria thinks it’s a bad impression.

Simmons is asked which war he would go back and end. Simmons: “NAM!” Santino accuses the other two of not liking babies and puppies, so Duggan tells him to go back to Italy and leave the good old USA, USA, USA! A fight nearly breaks out so Regal tells Maria to make her pick already. She picks Simmons, sending Santino into a panic. Simmons tells him to SCRAM but Santino wants Maria to leave with him. Cue Umaga to chase everyone off. This had a few funny lines (read as, anytime Simmons talked) and I could go for more Regal shenanigans, but it ran longer than it needed to.

Coach accepts a summons for Vince McMahon and upon seeing what it is, knows that he has to go find Vince.

John Cena vs. Umaga

Non-title. Cena hammers away to start but gets sent into the corner for a hard chop. A headbutt drops Cena again and Umaga hits an even harder shoulder. Cena pops back up with the Throwback but you don’t do that to a Samoan’s head, as Umaga nails a quick spinwheel kick. We take a break and come back with Cena fighting out of a nerve hold. Cena can’t get the FU, but he can manage to knock Umaga down and grab the STFU. Cue Carlito and Randy Orton for the DQ.

Rating: C. These two could have a good match in their sleep and this was probably the main part of many a house show main events. That being said, this was all about jumping Cena in the end so they didn’t quite get out of second gear. Nothing to see here, but Cena moving Umaga around is always pretty cool.

Post match, Carlito and Orton tell Umaga to go after Cena….but he lays both of them out instead. Cue Regal, to make Cena/Oomanga vs. Carlito/Orton for next week.

Vince McMahon is in the back and talks to some of the roster. He goes outside like he did on the night of the exploding limo (wrestling is weird) and walks to his white limousine, goes to close the door….and gets cut off by Coach. The papers from earlier say that Vince is being served in a paternity suit. There is another McMahon out there somewhere. Vince shakes his head to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not much to this one as it was mainly focused on two stories. The battle royal gave us a good result but the Cena vs. the world stuff was only so good. Summerslam didn’t get much attention this week but it seems that they are going to be focusing on Cena vs. Orton and not much else. They still have time to get somewhere with it though and it should all work out when some more stuff is added.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 16, 2007
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for the Great American Bash and that means we need to finalize some of the card. The show’s main event is set as Bobby Lashley will challenge John Cena for the Raw World Title, but there are still a few things that can be added. Maybe we can even get an interesting card together. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with HHH’s King of Kings theme, but it’s King Booker and Queen Sharmell coming out instead. Booker thinks you might have been expecting someone else, but suggesting that HHH is the King of Kings is blasphemy. There is one King on Raw and it is NOT HHH. Therefore, as of right now, HHH is stripped of the name king, leaving Booker alone as the King. Well save for one person, which sends Booker over to Jerry Lawler.

Booker has respected him for many, many (of) years but now he wants Lawler to drop the King name. Lawler says he’s been a fan of Booker for many years, but he has been the King for thirty years and thinks they can co-exist. That’s not cool with Booker because it DEFIES THE VERY NATURE OF MONARCHY! Booker wants Lawler to kiss his ring, but that is a flat out no. You don’t tell Booker no so he ORDERS Lawler to do it instead. Still a no, so Booker is ready to fight, only to get punched down. Referees break it up and I think we have a match for later. Lawler looked fired up here and the fans seemed into it.

Ric Flair picks John Cena over Bobby Lashley. This goes on a bit longer than it needs to.

Jeff Hardy vs. William Regal vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Santino Marella

Elimination rules and the winner gets an Intercontinental Title shot against Umaga at Great American Bash. Hardy and Benjamin go to the floor to start, leaving Santino to cross armbreaker Regal to the ropes. The other two get back in with Shelton suplexing Santino for two, allowing Regal to knee Santino in the head for the fast pin. Benjamin goes after Regal but has to catch Hardy in an electric chair.

We take a break and come back with Hardy taking a double suplex for a double two. Benjamin and Regal get into a fight because they’re kind of schnooks, including Regal suplexing him down. The villains ram heads, leaving Jeff to unload on Regal in the corner. The slingshot dropkick misses though and Regal gets to hammer away again.

A missed charge goes badly though as Hardy grabs the Twist of Fate to get us down to two. Benjamin is right back up with the Blockbuster for two of his own but Hardy sends him outside for the slingshot dive. Back in and the Swanton misses but Hardy kicks out anyway. Benjamin grabs a piledriver, which is reversed into a quick rollup to give Hardy the pin (that was kind of sudden so I wonder if something was changed on the fly there).

Rating: C. The ending was a bit odd but moving Hardy into this spot is a good idea. He and Marella were the only realistic options and I don’t think anyone is overly interested in another Marella vs. Umaga match. Hardy is the kind of guy you can get behind in a hurry and that should work out fine for Sunday.

Edge picks John Cena.

Randy Orton is ready to destroy Cody Rhodes. Look at what he did to Shawn Michaels and imagine what he can do to Cody. Then imagine what he’s going to do to Dusty Rhodes on Sunday. Orton wants Dusty there ringside so he can get a preview.

Maria tries to console Santino Marella, who talks about watching Transformers yesterday. He feels like he doesn’t belong here….but spending the night with her could help him. Maria seems game, mainly due to the offer of pancakes the next morning.

Batista picks Bobby Lashley.

Snitsky likes to hurt people.

Snitsky vs. Val Venis

Snitsky powers him down to start with the shoulders and clotheslines. The pumphandle slam is good for the fast pin on Venis.

Post match, Snitsky hits another pumphandle slam for good measure.

Cody Rhodes talks about how proud he is of his dad and knows he could never be a bigger star than Dusty. There is no RKO that can slow down and he’s ready for Orton.

Here is Jerry Lawler in the ring to explain the Texas Bullrope match. Lawler goes over the rules, including the things he has seen Dusty Rhodes do to people in this match before. Cue Randy Orton to cut him off though….and doesn’t actually do anything. This is something Lawler should do more often, as he can explain things well and is someone fans will listen to.

Video on Randy Orton ending some careers.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

This is Cody’s in-ring debut and Dusty Rhodes is in his corner. Cody jumps over him in the corner to start but gets blasted by a clothesline for his efforts. Orton takes too much time yelling at Dusty so Cody can start the comeback, only to miss a crossbody. There’s the powerslam into a knee drop as Orton is getting into a more serious mode. A snap suplex sets up the chinlock before Orton can hammer away again. Cody manages a shot to the face though and a missile dropkick gets two (with a big reaction from the crowd). The backbreaker cuts Cody off though and it’s the RKO for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t much more than a squash, but that’s all it should have been. Cody is in his first match on Raw so what would you expect him to be able to do to someone like Orton here? Orton wasn’t even all that evil here but he never felt like he was in any serious danger. This went as it should have and it could have been a lot worse, as Cody does seem to have been well trained.

Post match, Dusty comes in to check on Cody but glares at Orton for teasing the Punt.

Steve Austin picks John Cena.

Melina vs. Mickie James

Beth Phoenix and Candice Michelle are here too. Melina glares at Candice so Mickie rolls her up for a fast two. Back up and Mickie sends her face first into the corner but a Beth distraction lets Melina score with a kick to the ribs. A neck crank keeps Mickie in trouble but she fights up and grabs a neckbreaker for two. Mickie’s hurricanrana out of the corner has Melina rocked but Beth grabs Mickie’s leg. That’s enough for Melina to hit the standing legdrops for the fast pin.

Rating: C. This was a fine way to build Melina back up to the next title match as now Candice might have to worry about Beth as well. Mickie is bulletproof in this division so having Melina beat her while cheating is hardly a horrible situation. Not exactly a must see match, but it got things ready for the Great American Bash.

Smackdown Rebound.

William Regal comes up to Jim Duggan (what a pair), who gives us some fast catchphrases. Coach has sent Regal to get the 2×4 because he wants it bronzed. Duggan says no one puts his hands on his hardware, sending them into a series of innuendos (being down on knees and wood in hand are mentioned). Ron Simmons comes in for the catchphrase and Regal does his disgusted face.

Mick Foley picks Bobby Lashley.

Carlito vs. Sandman

Sandman goes technical to start with a wristlock and manages to take Carlito down. Back up and Carlito slugs away, even busting Sandman open a bit. The neck crank goes on but Sandman fights up without much trouble. Cue William Regal (who Sandman took out last week) to jump Sandman for the DQ.

Post match Jim Duggan makes the save to actually pay off the earlier segment. I wouldn’t have bet on that one.

JBL picks John Cena.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Super Crazy

Fallout from Crazy stealing a pin on Kennedy a few weeks ago in the Beat The Clock Challenge. Kennedy shoves him into the corner to start but Crazy comes out with a spinwheel kick. Crazy hammers away in the corner until a forearm cuts that off in a hurry. They slug it out again until Kennedy goes to the eyes for a breather. The abdominal stretch goes on but Crazy escapes and slugs away again, including a running clothesline. Back to back moonsaults look to set up a third, only to have Kennedy crotch him on top. A reverse superplex finishes Crazy off.

Rating: C. Another short and to the point match here to blow off the mini feud. Crazy got a nice rub out of the whole thing but ultimately there is only so far for him to go. Kennedy is likely on his way back to the main event scene so there was no reason to not give him this win. I’m not sure what is next for him, but a win over Crazy at least gives him some momentum.

Great American Bash rundown.

Here is Coach to emcee the Bobby Lashley vs. John Cena face off. Coach lists off the people Cena has beaten and asks why Cena believes he can survive. Yes, Cena, with some fake tears, feels that his title reign could end because Lashley speared him a few weeks ago. And even worse: he never learned to read! We get the Billy Madison “I award you no points” line before Cena gets serious with Lashley.

Cena has fought the best and won and lost, but Lashley will get his best. Lashley isn’t into talking and turns over his podium but Coach cuts them off. That’s too much for Lashley, who goes after Coach, only to have Cena tell him to focus on what matters. They do the big showdown but referees get Lashley to the back. Cena promises to test Lashley on Sunday so here is Lashley again, meaning the brawl is on to end the show. This was a pretty by the book segment but it worked, partially due to Cena’s energy.

Overall Rating: C+. There wasn’t much in the way of wrestling here but they made me want to see more than one match at the pay per view. Cena vs. Lashley went from big to epic in a hurry so points for doing what they do well. I’m looking forward to the pay per view and that’s a lot more important than having a good match on Raw.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 9, 2007
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are less than two weeks away from the Great American Bash and the big main event is set. WWE Champion John Cena will be defending the title against Bobby Lashley in a match that has to have Vince McMahon drooling. There are two shows left to build up to the show and that can be the important times on the way there. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Bobby Lashley vs. King Booker

Queen Sharmell is here with Booker in a rematch of last year’s King of the Ring finals (which JR mentions during the entrances). Lashley powers him around to start but charges into an elbow in the corner. Booker’s charge is countered into a powerslam though and Lashley plants him again for two. There’s another slam to put Booker down again but he’s back up with a spinning kick. Lashley isn’t having that and hits the Dominator, only to have Mr. Kennedy come in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but Lashley was beating up a former World Champion and making it look pretty easy. They’re doing a great job of making Lashley feel like an unstoppable monster and that is where Cena shines most of the time. This didn’t need to go on much longer and they made their point while still protecting Booker a bit.

Post match the double teaming is on until Coach comes out to say not so fast. Tonight it was supposed to be Cena/Lashley vs. Kennedy/Booker, but since Cena is in Los Angeles (for a panel on Larry King Live), Lashley can pick another partner. Either that or have a handicap match. Lashley clears the ring to show off a bit.

Coach goes into his office to find William Regal, who he thanks for helping last week. Regal says he got some compliments for bringing something fresh to Raw, but Coach has him in a match with Sandman tonight. Regal doesn’t seem pleased but he’s in.

Intercontinental Title: Umaga vs. Santino Marella

Umaga is defending after taking the title from Santino last week. The strikes to Umaga are as effective as you would expect and he plants Santino with the spinning Rock Bottom. Cue Maria to cheer for Santino (Lawler approves) as Santino is sent chest first into the corner. Umaga does it again as this is total dominance so far. The middle rope headbutt misses though and Santino hammers away, only to get knocked right back down in a hurry. The running hip attack crushes Santino in the corner and the Samoan Spike retains the title.

Rating: D+. Total and complete destruction here and that should wrap it up for Santino’s title shots. There is no reason to believe that Santino can hang with Umaga in a one on one match without assistance so this is the right way to wrap it up. Umaga can find some more people to fight for the title and odds are almost anyone would give him a better challenge at the moment.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Highlanders

Non-title and I had forgotten that the Highlanders were a thing around here. Cage runs Rory over with a shoulder to start and grabs a headlock to take him over again. Murdoch comes in for a headlock takeover of his own as this is another one sided match to start. A running elbow in the corner staggers Rory again and we hit the chinlock with a knee in his back. Rory gets up and his a jawbreaker to get a breather though and the hot tag brings in Robbie to clean house. Everything breaks down and a high/low finishes for Murdoch out of nowhere.

Maria apologizes to Santino Marella for the loss and suggests they go out tonight. Marella suggests he help her at his hotel, with Maria agreeing, as they could watch a movie. Or something.

Charlie Haas makes fun of Shelton Benjamin for kissing King Booker’s hand last night. Shelton, the birthday boy, is so confident that he’ll win tonight that if he doesn’t, he’ll kiss….Haas….on the lips. Haas is down and then realizes what he said. Oddly enough, no Ron Simmons cameo.

Video on John Cena.

Snitsky vs. Super Crazy

Snitsky powers him into the corner to start but charges into a boot. That’s about it for Crazy’s offense as Snitsky hits him in the back and whips him hard into the corner again. The pumphandle slam finishes for Snitsky in just over a minute.

Post match, Snitsky hits another pumphandle slam for a bonus.

We recap Randy Orton disrespecting Dusty and (the debuting) Cody Rhodes last week by slapping Dusty in the face. This week, Dusty wants some revenge.

HHH is coming back.

Here is Dusty Rhodes for a chat and he wastes no time in calling out Randy Orton. Cue Orton, with Dusty saying there was no way that it was going to be over last week when Orton slapped him in the face. Now is Orton just going to stand there and look stupid? Orton doesn’t want to hear the “respect your legends” speech again but Dusty goes on a mini rant about Orton spitting in Harley Race’s face. Dusty wants to hear about what Orton has done in the ring, so Orton talks about injuring Shawn Michaels and Rob Van Dam. That’s not how you gain respect, and LOOK AT DUSTY WHEN HE IS TALKING TO YOU!

Orton challenges him to a match at the Great American Bash, but Dusty says not so fast because he’s old and retired. That’s not cool with Orton, so he suggests that he’ll just end Cody Rhodes’ career instead. Dusty is willing to fight, but we’ll make it a Texas Bullrope match. Deal, with Orton saying Cody needs to be there to pick up the pieces. Cue Cody (Runnels according to JR), with Orton telling him to get out of the ring before he gets hurt. Cody slaps Orton in the face and Orton bails without going after the two of them.

Paul London vs. Shelton Benjamin

This could be good. Shelton powers out of a top wristlock attempt to start and then takes London down into a front facelock without much trouble. Back up and London kicks away at the ribs for little effect so he grabs a front facelock of his own. That’s broken up as well so Benjamin snaps off a backbreaker, setting up an armbar of all things. London fights up with a hurricanrana into a small package for two, only to have Benjamin go right back to the arm. That doesn’t seem to bother London, who grabs a victory roll for the fast pin.

Rating: C. This was good while it lasted but it didn’t have a ton of time to go anywhere. That being said, this is about as good as you’re going to get from these two as far as time goes, as WWE has never exactly shown much interest in a serious push for London. Then there is Benjamin, and there is no reason to believe in any push he receives ever again.

Mr. Kennedy jumps the banged up Super Crazy for last week.

Shelton Benjamin seems hesitant to kiss Charlie Haas but Haas will settle for a kiss on the hand. They hug, and NOW Ron Simmons comes in for the catchphrase.

Melina/Jillian Hall vs. Candice Michelle/Mickie James

Hold on though as Melina has a sprained ankle, but she has a replacement: the returning Beth Phoenix. Melina sits in on commentary as Beth hits Mickie with what would become known as the Glam Slam. Candice gets the tag just a few seconds later as everything breaks down in a hurry. Jillian side slams Candice for two but gets caught in a backslide to give Candice the fast pin. This was nothing.

Post match Beth and Jillian beat down Candice, with Melina literally jumping in to help as a villain should.

Smackdown Rebound.

HHH is still coming back.

King Booker isn’t happy that HHH is coming back but here is Mr. Kennedy to interrupt. Kennedy says Bobby Lashley made them look like fools last week but Booker says that was just Kennedy. Revenge will be theirs!

Sandman vs. William Regal

Carlito is on commentary. Regal hammers away in a pair of corners to start as Carlito accuses Sandman of being drunk. Sandman comes back with a knee to the face but has to go after Carlito with the kendo stick. Another shot drops Regal to DQ Sandman.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

John Cena joins us via satellite and talks about how nice it was for Larry King to have people willing to have an intelligent discussion on wrestling on his show. As for Lashley, it’s true that he is an uncrowned champion. At the Great American Bash, we’ll find out who the real champion is.

Great American Bash rundown. That’s not a bad looking show.

Bobby Lashley/??? vs. Mr. Kennedy/King Booker

The mystery partner is….Jeff Hardy. I’ve heard worse ideas. In something I wouldn’t have guessed, Hardy is a bit taller than Lashley. Anyway, Booker and Hardy get things going with Booker missing an early ax kick attempt. Hardy starts in on the arm but gets taken into the corner for some knees to the ribs. Kennedy comes in and gets to stomp away in the corner until Hardy mule kicks his way to freedom.

The tag brings in Lashley to clean house, including a suplex to Kennedy. Booker gets knocked to the floor and Lashley plays Matt Hardy for some Poetry in Motion. A cheap shot from the apron lets Kennedy take Jeff down but he’s right back with the Whisper in the Wind. Now the hot tag can bring in Lashley to clean house as everything breaks down. The spear hits Kennedy with Booker making the save, so Hardy takes Booker outside. A leapfrog over Kennedy sets up another spear to give Lashley the pin.

Rating: C. This was a house show main style match and that’s all it was supposed to be. Cena had WWE business to tend to so putting Hardy in at the last minute was as good of an option as they probably had. The match wasn’t anything memorable, but it gave Lashley the chance to wreck some people and look great on the way to the pay per view title match.

Overall Rating: C-. There were some good pieces on the show but it felt like they were going through stuff as fast as they could have. Cena not being around changed a few things but I don’t think him being here would have brought the show up that much. It’s much more skippable than bad, though in a way that’s a worse situation to have.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 11, 2007
Location: Wachovia Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles

It’s time for a special three hour edition (like that has a future) as we have the annual Draft. This show will include all three brands, including ECW for a change. They have really hyped up the idea that ANYONE can be drafted to any show and that seems like they are primed for something interesting. These things can have quite the batch of surprises so maybe we can get that again this time. It’s also Mr. McMahon Appreciation Night, which I’m sure won’t go anywhere. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Vince McMahon reads us a prepared statement, saying that he is in full control of his mental faculties and tonight, you will hear uncensored comments on him from various people. Tonight will be the defining moment of his life.

Opening sequence.

All of the commentators welcome us to the show, saying that there will be interpromotional matches tonight, with the winning brand getting a Draft pick. I’ve heard worse ideas.

John Cena (Raw) vs. Edge (Smackdown)

Non-title. They lock up to start with Cena whipping him hard into the corner and getting one off a suplex. Edge is right back with a running forearm to the back of the head, followed by some shots to the jaw. A kick to the chest puts Cena on the apron and there’s a baseball slide to put him outside. Back in and Edge scores with a clothesline (JR: “Slobberknocker style.”) and a spinwheel kick gets two more.

Cena tries a quick FU but gets kicked in the face instead, setting up a chinlock as they’re certainly at a pretty fast pace early on. After powering up, Cena tries the STFU but Edge is straight into the ropes for another break. The Throwback has some more effect for Cena and now the real comeback is on. Edge misses what looked to be a spear and crashes out to the floor, where Cena loads up the super FU. Since that would cause quite the amount of damage, Edge rakes his eyes and dives in to beat the count for the win.

Rating: C. This was a televised version of a post show dark match they probably did about a hundred times, albeit with a countout instead of a DQ. They didn’t have much time to do anything here but there is nothing wrong with flying through a match when you have this kind of experience and chemistry with someone. It might not have been a classic, but it did what it needed to.

The Draft pick sends….Great Khali to Smackdown, meaning he has now been on all three brands since the beginning of the year. Cena smiles and Edge realizes he’s in trouble. Khali (with interpreter) comes to the stage and Edge panics.

We get a video on Vince McMahon’s introduction into wrestling (from the McMahon DVD, as will be the case with all of his clips tonight) and how he didn’t want people to know he owned the company for a long time. Other than a few quick notes, it wasn’t acknowledged very often on WWF TV until the late 90s.

Jesse Ventura says Vince hasn’t earned the title of Mr. just yet. This company is a dictatorship and Vince isn’t a benevolent dictator. Like the rest of them, Vince will fall one day.

Coach informs us that Vengeance will now be a Night Of Champions (we knew that already) and any former World Champion on the Raw roster at the end of the night can challenge for the WWE Title in the main event. Even if the WWE Title isn’t on Raw? Isn’t that kind of missing the point of the show?

CM Punk (ECW) vs. Carlito (Raw)

Punk knocks him down to start but Carlito manages to dropkick Punk out of the air to take over. A suplex and elbow stay on Punk’s bad ribs and it’s time to grab a bodyscissors. That’s broken up in a hurry and Punk grabs a bodyscissors to put him in trouble instead. The corner bulldog is broken up though and Carlito scores with the Backstabber to send Punk outside. Back in and Punk hits the GTS for the pin out of nowhere (it’s as sudden as it sounds).

Rating: C-. This came and went without much trouble as you can only get so far with a five minute match without that much drama. Punk isn’t going to lose to Carlito, as Carlito has fallen down pretty far in recent months. At the same time, Punk is rising up through the ranks and there was no reason to suggest he was in trouble here.

The Draft pick sends….the Boogeyman to ECW. That makes all the sense in the world actually. Joey: “Just what ECW needed: more freaks.”

Snoop Dogg likes Vince McMahon bringing in great wrestlers…who can beat Vince up.

Another McMahon clip looks at Vince tormenting various people over the years because he is a rather evil man.

Here is Mick Foley for a surprise chat. Normally he doesn’t like listening to Jonathan Coachman, but he heard something mentioned about former WWE Champions being allowed to take part in an open challenge match. Since he was rehired last year, he’s technically part of the Raw roster so he’ll be at Vengeance, assuming he isn’t drafted. As for Vince, he’s an arrogant, misogynistic and horrible person.

Sure Vince has money, but does he have any friends? Of course not! Foley reads off a list of people who won’t be participating tonight despite being asked: Hulk Hogan, HHH, Eric Bischoff, The Rock, Dick Ebersole, Shawn Michaels, Trish Stratus (Foley: “My unofficial fifth child.”) and Ted Turner, all because Vince isn’t worth their time. They don’t appreciate Vince, so should anyone else? The fans say no and Foley agrees, so have a nice day! My biggest take out of that: it’s weird to hear Foley talking about Hulk Hogan.

Umaga (Raw) vs. Balls Mahoney (ECW)

Samoan Spike in less than forty seconds.

The Draft pick sends…..King Booker to Raw. I had forgotten he was a thing. Booker, with Queen Sharmell, comes back to pose for a bit.

Steve-O from Jackass rhymes about Vince McMahon and seems to be a fan.

Bobby Lashley (Raw) vs. Chris Benoit (Smackdown)

Non-title. Lashley tries a spinebuster to start but Benoit grabs the arm and ties it up on the mat. The power can’t quite get Lashley out of trouble so Benoit gets up and chops away. That’s reversed so Lashley can kick away, which the fans don’t quite appreciate. A front facelock slows Benoit down but he is right back to strike away in the corner.

The snap suplex gets two on Lashley and an attempt at a Crossface gets quite the positive reaction. Lashley powers out of that and tries a gorilla press, which is countered into a Crossface (that’s good for a reaction). The rope is grabbed so Benoit takes him down again and grabs the Sharpshooter, which is broken up with straight power. Back up and Lashley tilt-a-whirls Benoit up into a running powerslam for the fast pin.

Rating: C. This is a match that could have been much better with more time and a better story, though what we got was a nice tease. Power vs. technical is a style that has worked for years and it worked well enough here. Not enough time to make it work here, but what we got worked out well enough.

The Draft pick sends….Chris Benoit to ECW. They could use someone like him.

Lashley and Benoit shake hands.

We recap the Draft picks so far.

Donald Trump doesn’t think much of Vince McMahon and talks about how awesome Wrestlemania was. Maybe he should have his own appreciation night.

Ashley Massaro joins us via satellite and thanks Vince for inventing the Diva Search. She does however bring up making Trish Stratus bark like a dog….so here are Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young to disrobe, get on all fours, and bark like dogs (complete with a dog house and food bowl). That’s one of those things that has been forgotten for all the right reasons.

Jimmy Snuka and Iron Sheik join us to thank Vince McMahon for everything he did, though Sheik goes into a rant about Donald Trump and racket ball.

MVP vs. Santino Marella

Non-title. MVP gutwrench suplexes him to start and a clothesline gets two. We hit the cravate to hold Santino in place for a bit, followed by an exchange of kicks to the ribs. Santino gets the worse of things and gets caught in the chinlock, only to fight up with the variety of offense you would expect from someone who has had about five minutes. A fireman’s carry face first drop gives MVP two and a running boot in the corner connects. The Playmaker finishes Santino in a hurry.

Rating: D+. This was little more than a squash, which might not be the best way to present the Intercontinental Title. Then again it does kind of make sense for Marella, who isn’t supposed to be the most polished star in the world. MVP is starting to come into his own and a win like this helps push him a bit further, though I’m not sure how much value Santino had in the first place.

The Draft pick sends….Torrie Wilson to Smackdown.

Bret Hart wants to punch Vince McMahon in the jaw. There’s a name you wouldn’t expect to see on the show and I can go with the surprise.

Miz (Smackdown) vs. Snitsky (ECW)

Snitsky throws him into the corner for the Tree of Woe to start as commentary wonders if Snitsky gets the concept of the Draft. A big boot finishes Miz in a hurry.

The Draft pick….actually goes to Smackdown, as Snitsky keeps stomping away and the decision is reversed.

The Draft pick sends…..Chris Masters to Smackdown. Dang that show is getting wrecked in this thing.

Bobby Heenan talks about everyone Vince has fired and tries to figure out what is up with that walk.

Here is Roddy Piper to introduce a bunch of embarrassing Vince McMahon clips. That’s what you bring in Roddy Piper to do?

Mark Cuban calls Vince McMahon a winner who is living the American dream.

Candice Michelle vs. Kristal

Kristal takes her down and kicks away at the legs but Candice snaps off a backbreaker. The Go Daddy dance gets two and there’s a triangle choke over the ropes to make things worse for Kristal. The spinwheel kick finishes Kristal in a hurry.

The Draft pick sends….Bobby Lashley to Raw. That’s a big one and you had to know Lashley was getting off of ECW one way or another.

Lashley comes out to pose but here is Coach to cut him off. Since Lashley is no longer on ECW, he can’t be the ECW World Champion. Lashley isn’t happy, but promises to be a champion again.

Bob Costas says he wanted to be a WWE broadcaster but Vince McMahon said no. We hear about their infamous interview together and Costas was glad to have a calmer person like Bobby Knight on next.

Jeff Hardy (Raw) vs. Elijah Burke (ECW) vs. Batista (Smackdown)

Burke bails straight to the floor to start but Hardy jumps him from behind. Back in and Batista fires off the shoulders to Hardy’s ribs in the corner, only to have Hardy slip out of the Batista Bomb. Hardy takes him down and hits the Swanton for a very early two with Burke making the save. Batista gets sent outside, leaving Hardy to hit Burke with the slingshot dropkick. Back in and Batista runs Hardy over, setting up the Batista Bomb to finish Burke.

Rating: C. This was more interesting than I would have expected and it was cool to see some people going at it that you wouldn’t usually see get together. If nothing else, it made me want to see Hardy vs. Batista, which somehow never happened in a singles match. You would think their paths would have crossed at some point somewhere over the years.

The Draft pick sends….Ric Flair to Smackdown. Flair could use the change of scenery.

John Cena was at a car race.

Captain Lou Albano talks about how great he is. Vince McMahon is ok too.

Here’s a recap of the Draft picks. There will also be a supplemental Draft on Wednesday.

Here is Dusty Rhodes to talk about Vince McMahon loving to say “perception is reality”. Dusty says that you might not like Vince, but look at the reality of what he has done. You have to respect him.

Gene Okerlund talks about Vince McMahon letting him become the new host of Tuesday Night Titans….while knowing it would be canceled. We also hear about a bunch of horrible things Vince has done, as Gene doesn’t seem to be a fan.

Battle Royal

Smackdown: Matt Hardy, William Regal, Chavo Guerrero, Mark Henry, Chris Masters,

ECW: Kevin Thorn, Matt Striker, Marcus Cor Von, Sandman, Tommy Dreamer

Raw: Johnny Nitro, Eugene, Kenny Dykstra, Randy Orton, Johnny Nitro

The winning brand gets two picks. It’s a brawl to start (as battle royals tend to do) and Striker is gone in a hurry. Sandman, Regal and Chavo are out as well, with Dreamer following them as the ring is clearing in a hurry. Thorn gets knocked out too and it’s time for Viscera and Henry to have the big showdown.

Henry can’t get him out but he can clothesline Viscera down, followed by the big elimination. We take a break and come back with Eugene and Dykstra gone to leave us with Henry, Cor Von, Orton, Nitro, Masters and Hardy. The Pounce is loaded up but Hardy low bridges Cor Von out to get rid of ECW.

Masters throws Nitro out but Hardy gets rid of him as well, leaving us with Henry, Hardy and Orton. Matt can’t get rid of Henry but it’s enough for Orton to come over and toss Henry out, leaving us with two. A Side Effect drops Orton but the backbreaker cuts Hardy down as well. Hardy is back with the middle rope elbow to the head but Orton tosses him out to give Raw the win anyway.

Rating: C-. You can only get so far with a battle royal where there are brands instead of individual winners, though they did a good job of having Orton get the win. It’s pretty clear that he is on his way to a huge showdown with John Cena so having him get a win here was a nice little boost. The rest of the match was your usual battle royal stuff, so it wasn’t quite the most thrilling part of the show.

The Draft picks send….Snitsky and Mr. Kennedy to Raw. One of those things is a little better than the others. I mean Snitsky for having no hair of course.

Here are the final Draft picks:

To Raw
King Booker w/Queen Sharmell
Bobby Lashley
Snitsky
Mr. Kennedy

To Smackdown
Great Khali
Torrie Wilson
Chris Masters
Ric Flair

To ECW
Boogeyman
Chris Benoit

Vince McMahon is in his office and seems a bit nuts.

Steve Austin laughs off the idea of Vince McMahon Appreciation Night and goes over some great moments of their rivalry. He doesn’t appreciate anything about Vince at all. Swearing ensues.

Since the rosters are now set (as we are already ignoring the supplemental draft), the main event of Vengeance will see Mick Foley, Bobby Lashley (still with the ECW World Title in the graphic), Randy Orton and King Booker challenging John Cena. That is some serious star power.

Here is Vince McMahon for the big closing. Vince, with his hand shaking, picks up the microphone and then drops it back down. Without saying anything, Vince slowly walks to the back, passing by the wrestlers (who are all standing in line for no logical reason). Coach pops in to say the limo is the other way so Vince turns around, passes more wrestlers, plus Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco, before heading outside.

Vince hesitates to get into the limo, gets inside….and it blows up as the door closes. The limo burns to end the show. And now we have a rather big/hot top story. I remember watching this live and thinking it would blow up as he looked at it like that. No idea why, but it’s the kind of thing that WWE would do.

Overall Rating: C+. It certainly wasn’t a boring show and a lot of things did happen, but it also wasn’t exactly great. This wasn’t the kind of show where you should have expected anything great in the way of wrestling, but what we got was good enough to carry the night. The shakeups needed to happen, though Smackdown is looking more and more like the dumping ground for wrestlers with nothing else to do on Raw.

Then there is the Vince stuff, and again the story feels rushed. The testimonials from the people might not have been great, but some people did say nice things about Vince. That being said, it does make sense that he would be crushed when he wasn’t in his right mind to begin with. The whodunit story is on though, and I’m sure it will reach a satisfying conclusion.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: May 15, 2007
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Judgment Day and Bobby Lashley is still chasing Vince McMahon and the ECW World Title. That has been a well done story so far and we could be in for even more of the same going forward, as the whole thing seems to have some legs, just because of how gleeful Vince seems to be as champion. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Bobby Lashley getting beaten down by Umaga and the McMahons last night on Raw.

Vince McMahon joins us from WWE headquarters and talks about how much of a fashion statement his doorag really is. He blames Bobby Lashley for needing it and Lashley must like seeing him in it. Well Vince likes what he saw happen to Lashley last night, which is why tonight it’s Lashley vs. the New Breed in another handicap match. That’s just a preview for Sunday though, where Vince will retain the title. Vince is just perfect in this role.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam vs. Snitsky

Snitsky throws him down to start and stomps away, setting up some elbows for two. A suplex gets the same and Snitsky forearms away at the chest. Snitsky mixes things up a bit with a double underhook arm crank but Van Dam fights out and kicks away. The spinwheel kick and windmill kick drop Snitsky but Rolling Thunder misses. Instead Snitsky gets crotched on top off a missed boot and gets kicked outside. That’s fine with Snitsky, who blasts him with a clothesline before adding a chair shot for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Snitsky had the right look to be a monster and could do a good enough power match, so this was about as good as he was going to do. Van Dam has fallen pretty hard in the last few months and I’m not sure how much higher you can expect him to get at the moment. A win in a rematch over Snitsky might help, but I’m not sure if there is a magic formula for him around here.

Video on CM Punk.

CM Punk vs. Stevie Richards

Punk has heavily taped ribs and strikes away to start but gets slowed down by the injury. Richards is smart enough to go after the ribs and try to rip off the tape, which only earns him more kicks to the ribs. The bow and arrow stays on the ribs and Richards gets creative with a jumping double stomp. An abdominal stretch doesn’t last long but Richards misses a charge in the corner. Punk’s neckbreaker out of the corner gets two but Richards hits a running dropkick. Punk has finally had it though and reverses a tornado DDT into the GTS for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a short match but they did it about as well as they could have. Richards didn’t do anything outside of the logical path by working on Punk’s injured ribs but he mixed it up a bit tp keep things fresh. Rather nice match here all things considered and I would not have bet on that.

Elijah Burke fires up the rest of the New Breed, who don’t seem entirely convinced at his leadership.

Kevin Thorn vs. Nunzio

Ariel is here with Thorn, who powers him into the corner to start as the smoke from Thorn’s entrance has to clear out. Nunzio’s jawbreaker doesn’t get him anywhere as he hits a spinning jackknife out of the corner (that looked good) and hits some crossface forearms. Nunzio swings away to no avail as the chinlock goes on. That’s broken up but Thorn gets some boots up in the corner. The Dark Kiss finishes Nunzio in a hurry.

Rating: D+. Nothing match here, as you might have guessed, but the interesting thing here is that Nunzio was replacing Sabu. It turns out that Sabu wasn’t interested in losing to Thorn and was fired as a result. That is probably the best for everyone involved, as Sabu never fit in WWE and it isn’t like he was doing anything important at the moment.

Weekly Condemned material.

Extreme Expose.

Here’s the same video package that opened the show.

Bobby Lashley promises to end Vince McMahon on Sunday and get the ECW World Title back.

Judgment Day rundown.

Bobby Lashley vs. New Breed

Before the match, Elijah Burke praises Marcus Cor Von and says they’re getting there with Matt Striker. Burke starts going over his own resume but Striker handles the end of the introduction for him (while giving the fans an F for their lame effort). Cor Von likes Burke too and now it’s time to go. Burke starts for the team and is powered into the corner in a hurry. The delayed vertical suplex keeps Burke in trouble so it’s off to Cor Von for the power showdown.

Lashley leapfrogs Cor Von and elbows him in the face, which somehow makes Striker tag himself in. That means Striker can get a beating of his own but Cor Von sneaks in with the Pounce to send Lashley outside. The villains start taking turns on Lashley, who finally fights out of Cor Von’s chinlock. The comeback doesn’t last long as Cor Von knocks him down again, setting up the seated abdominal stretch. Lashley fights up again and starts pummeling Striker, including the spear for the pin as Burke and Cor Von watch from ringside.

Rating: C-. Another match where they didn’t have a lot of options and even the logical way to go was only so good. Lashley has been built up about as much as he can for a match like he has coming up so this was just the last thing he did rather than any major push. New Breed continues to fall apart, and that is a good thing as the team is ready to go on their separate ways.

Replays and glaring wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one and that isn’t a big surprise. It was pretty clear that Lashley vs. McMahon is the only real story on the show, so what else were they supposed to do for the rest of the hour? ECW does not have a lot of depth when it comes to stories. The matches themselves haven’t been much either, leaving this as a not very surprising lackluster effort.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: May 8, 2007
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s another big show as we have the ECW World Title on the line. This time around that means Rob Van Dam challenging Vince McMahon…..with Shane McMahon and Umaga, because that’s how the title goes. Since it’s supposed to be EXTREME though, the stipulation makes logical sense. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Earlier today, Bobby Lashley arrived but ran into Armando Alejandro Estrada, flanked by police. If Lashley tries to get in or touches Estrada, he’s under arrest. That’s fine with Lashley, who shoves Estrada (in his wheelchair) into a dumpster (after a long ride). Lashley: “I guess you guys have to arrest me.” How do you get through this without showing any emotion?

Opening sequence, capped off by Vince McMahon as ECW World Champion.

CM Punk vs. Marcus Cor Von

Elijah Burke, who is facing Punk at Judgment Day, is here with Cor Von. As the match starts, we get a crawler saying that Edge just became the new World Heavyweight Champion. That’s one way to advertise things. Punk knocks Cor Von outside but gets clotheslined down for his efforts. Back in and Cor Von starts hammering away at the ribs, setting up the bearhug.

Cor Von drives him into the corner and puts on the bearhug again, followed by a waistlock to stay on the ribs. Punk slips out and grabs a neckbreaker for a much needed breather and a rather delayed two. A neck snap across the top rope sets up a springboard clothesline to give Punk two more but the tornado DDT is tossed outside. Burke gets in a cheap shot, allowing Cor Von to hit the Pounce for the pin.

Rating: C. Storyline advancement 201 here and that’s what it should have been. Cor Von gets a win and the Punk vs. Burke match gets a little more advancement. That’s a rather nice way to spend ten minutes and it’s not like Punk is hurt by a cheating loss. I think you know where this is going at Judgment Day and that’s perfectly fine.

We recap Edge becoming Mr. Money in the Bank on Raw.

Here’s another look at the Condemned.

Sandman vs. Snitsky

Given that Snitsky is Raw bound, this might be interesting. The big boot finishes Sandman in less than a minute. This was not interesting.

Vince McMahon is rather pleased with the Sandman being destroyed. Now that Bobby Lashley is in jail, they’re going to crush Rob Van Dam. Umaga screams a lot.

Extreme Expose.

We recap Vince McMahon winning the ECW World Title, Vince tormenting Bobby Lashley last night on Raw and Lashley getting arrested earlier today.

Elijah Burke tells Matt Striker that the New Breed is on a role and takes credit for what they have been doing. Burke wants Striker at ringside for his match tonight.

Elijah Burke vs. Brian Major

Matt Striker and Brett Major are here too. Burke takes him into the corner to start and hits a hard knee to the face to put Major down. A hard right hand puts Major down again and Burke knocks him into the corner again. Major slugs away for a comeback, only to miss a springboard spinning crossbody. The Elijah Experience finishes in a hurry.

Post match Burke tells Striker that’s how it’s done.

Kevin Thorn and Ariel have a bright future (in fresh blood), but it’s not with the New Breed.

ECW World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Umaga/Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Van Dam is challenging and Shane handles his partners’ introductions. Shane starts for the team and it’s time for some shuffling. A rollup and armdrag have Shane in trouble, as he looks like he’s in over his head. Rob starts firing off the kicks, including one to cut off an invading Umaga. The numbers get the better of him though and Umaga shoves him into the barricade to take over.

Back in and Shane works on an armbar before throwing Van Dam back outside for another beating from Umaga. This time Umaga comes in to drop the big leg, followed by the Samoan drop. Van Dam gets pounded into the corner but manages a kick to the head to start the comeback. It’s time to go up but Shane crotches him, setting up the top rope superplex. Umaga adds the top rope splash and the Spike, allowing Vince to come in and steal the pin.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what else you were expecting here as it was Van Dam failing to beat impossible odds. While this match wasn’t great, it did a nice job of making Bobby Lashley look that much better when he pulls off the upset. Van Dam never had a chance here and I don’t think anyone was expecting otherwise, especially with the pay per view already set.

Post match the ECW Originals run out for the save to end the show. Joey: “Has Vince McMahon just killed the spirit of the original ECW?” After everything you’ve seen, that match is what killed ECW?

Overall Rating: C. Pretty run of the mill show here, which was more designed to set things up for the future than anything else. It wasn’t a bad show by any means but it also wasn’t particularly good, meaning we’ll put it right in the middle. There are things set up for the future and now we get to see how those stories play out, which means the plans are working.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: April 24, 2007
Location: Earl’s Court, London, England
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

ECW goes British for one night as we have the go home show for Backlash, which will have a pretty big title match. Other than that we have a pretty big match between the ECW Originals and the New Breed, despite CM Punk’s issues with his new team. That feud has gotten a bit better in recent weeks and maybe that can continue on the international version. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the New Breed’s recent issues with CM Punk. This do not seem to be going well with the new partnership.

CM Punk apologizes to the New Breed, but he doesn’t want to apologize for the things he has said. He wants to apologize for messing up and costing Elijah Burke his match last week. That’s all in the past though and now it’s time for an elimination tag against the ECW Originals. Everyone will talk about the New Breed after tonight and Punk shakes hands with everyone….except for Burke. Then he comes back to shake Burke’s hand because he’s just messing with him.

Opening sequence.

Umaga vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title and Armando Alejandro Estrada is here with Umaga. Vince McMahon (dig that hat) is watching in the back as Lashley hammers away to start but Estrada offers a quick distraction. Umaga knocks Lashley off the apron and sends him into the steps as the champ is in early trouble. A ram into the apron makes it worse but Lashley comes back in with a top rope shot to Umaga’s head. You don’t hit a Samoan in the head though and he knocks Lashley down again. The middle rope headbutt misses though and Lashley slugs away for the comeback. A clothesline puts Umaga on the floor but Estrada comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much but what are you expecting in a match that doesn’t even last four minutes? It was only going to be so good and that’s what we got here, as they didn’t have time to do anything. At the same time, that’s kind of the point as this match was supposed to be a warmup for Sunday’s handicap match, and that’s all well and good.

Post match Vince McMahon comes out as Lashley beats up Estrada, including the spear. Lashley tosses Estrada outside (with no one catching him) and stands tall.

Remember the Condemned? It’s still a thing.

Elijah Burke talks to the New Breed, minus CM Punk. He thinks they might have made a mistake with bringing Punk onboard but Marcus Cor Von says there is no we. It was all Burke’s idea to bring him onto the team and the rest of the team doesn’t seem to want to hear this. Punk comes back in and things quiet down in a hurry.

Snitsky vs. Balls Mahoney

Snitsky wastes no time in running Mahoney over and drives him into the corner to make it worse. Mahoney fights back but gets kicked in the face for the pin.

CM Punk gives the New Breed, minus Elijah Burke, a pep talk. Burke comes in and doesn’t like this happening without him.

Backlash rundown.

ECW Originals vs. New Breed

ECW Originals: Sabu, Sandman, Tommy Dreamer, Rob Van Dam
New Breed: Matt Striker, Elijah Burke, Marcus Cor Von, Kevin Thorn, CM Punk

This is elimination rules and Punk is ready to start for the team, but Burke says he’s sitting this one out. Dreamer and Burke start things off with Burke running him over but charging into a slam. Sabu comes in and Dreamer slams him onto Burke for two, setting up Sandman’s top rope knee to the back. The Rolling Rock misses though and Burke rolls Sandman up, with jeans, for the first elimination.

It’s off to Sabu and Striker, with the former hitting a springboard tornado DDT. That’s enough from Sabu so it’s off to Van Dam for the monkey flip. Cor Von’s distraction doesn’t work though and it’s a sunset bomb into a split legged moonsault to get rid of Striker. Cor Von comes in for a snap suplex but Van Dam kicks him in the head. A springboard kick to the face puts Cor Von down again and it’s back to Sabu for the camel clutch. The referee has to get rid of Van Dam though and Burke comes in with a cheap shot.

Cor Von’s swinging neckbreaker gets two on Sabu, who manages a springboard leg lariat for a breather. That’s about it for the comeback though as the Pounce ends Sabu in a hurry. Dreamer comes in and we take a break. Back with Thorn stomping on Dreamer before Cor Von comes back in for a belly to belly. Dreamer gets taken outside and crotched on the barricade….which is a DQ to get rid of Cor Von. So we’re down to Thorn/Burke vs. Dreamer/Van Dam and it’s Thorn coming in to work on Dreamer’s banged up back.

The sitout spinebuster gets two and it’s back to Burke as Punk isn’t looking pleased with all of this. Dreamer grabs a DDT out of nowhere to get rid of Thorn but the Elijah Express finishes Dreamer to get us down to one on one. Burke takes Van Dam down in a hurry and cranks on the arm but Van Dam manages a backdrop. A spinwheel kick knocks Burke off the apron….and Punk kicks him in the back. Van Dam, who didn’t seem to see Punk, throws Burke back inside for the Five Star and the pin.

Rating: C. It got some time, but this felt like it should have been a special house show main event. What mattered here was Punk vs. Burke, meaning the 19 or so minutes to get there weren’t exactly interesting. They got the important part though and the rest wasn’t terrible, so this worked out fine for the stage they were on.

Post match Van Dam leaves, so Punk helps Burke up, gives him the GTS, and says he’s sorry one more time to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The matches weren’t great but this felt like a special edition of the show. I’m not sure how much interest there is going to be in this show once the McMahons move on, but it is certainly nice while it lasts. Punk turning on Burke still feels like a course correction, which works just fine because it’s what needs to be done.

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