One Night Only – Amped Anthology Volume IV: TNA Was Better

One Night Only: Amped Anthology Part IV
Date: December 8, 2017
Location: Orleans Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Cyrus Fees, Chael Sonnen

Thank goodness it ends here. This is the final piece of the four part series of Jeff Jarrett’s failed attempt to launch his own promotion (the second time that is). Impact then released the TV tapings as a series of four events so that is what we have here, with the final four shows and a bunch of champions being crowned. Let’s get to it.

The opening video gives us a rapid fire look at what is left in the tournaments.

Commentary chatters and previews the show.

Seiya Sanda is ready to become #1 contender to the X-Division Title.

Sonjay Dutt is ready to become #1 contender to the X-Division Title.

Sonjay Dutt vs. Seiya Sanada

The winner gets a Nex Gen Title shot at some point in the future. Dutt bows to Sanada to start and we get a nice handshake. They go to the mat to start and it’s an early standoff. Dutt works on the arm as we hear about Sanada being part of the Bullet Club. Back up and Dutt hurricanranas him to the floor, setting up a headscissors to take him down again. A slingshot legdrop gives Dutt two and a backsplash is good for the same. The Octopus hold goes on with Dutt working on the hand to be a little more evil. Sonnen: “Sanada looks as Asian as Scott Hall does Cuban. I think it’s an angle.”

Sanada springboards in with a chop to the head, which we see three times for some reason. A TKO gives Sanada two but the moonsault misses. Instead Sanada grabs a bridging German suplex for two more but Dutt stacks up la majistral for his own two. There’s a running shooting star press for two more on Sanada and a running tornado DDT. A top rope splash gives Dutt the pin at 8:47.

Rating: C. This is a good example of what was wrong with GFW: there was little to the story and the action was completely average. The match was a perfect example of something that came and went with a few decent spots but I won’t remember it by the end of the show. It was very basic, by the book professional wrestling, but it has no staying power whatsoever.

Respect is shown post match.

Brian Myers is upset by his recent loss but he isn’t done.

Masked Saint vs. Juicy Joey

Saint is rather skinny and a tie in to a movie of the same name and apparently the grandson of the real version. Joey (Ryan of course) takes him into the corner to start but Saint is back with a clothesline into a headlock. A shoulder runs Saint over but Joey gets hiptossed out to the floor. Back in and Joey runs him over again, setting up the signature pose on the rope. Saint is back with a DDT for two but Joey knocks him down without much trouble. The chinlock goes on for a bit, only to have Saint pop up with a dropkick. A high crossbody finishes Joey at 5:10.

Rating: D+. It is pretty clear that Saint is very new at wrestling, as his offense was rather entry level. Then again, this felt like little more than a way to hype up the movie and that is acceptable enough. It isn’t like Joey Ryan is going to be hurt by taking a loss on a show like this, so just give the movie some press and move on.

Nick Aldis is ready to beat Bobby Roode and be the World Champion.

Chael Sonnen talks about training fellow MMA fighter Phil Baroni and calling him out during an appearance on a previous show. Baroni jumped the barricade and a match seems to be imminent.

Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Whirlwind Gentlemen vs. Bollywood Boyz

The Gentlemen are Jack Manley/Remy Marcel while the Boyz are Gurv/Harv. The Boyz are better known as the Singh Brothers in WWE, which commentary points out for us. Harv and Manley start things off and a shoulder means it’s time for the Bollywood dancing. An armdrag into an armbar lets Gurv come in with an ax handle to the arm.

Gurv gets sent outside for a slam onto the apron and it’s time for the Gentlemen to work on the arm. The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by more stomping to keep Gurv down. Back up and Manley is sent into Marcel, allowing the tag back to Harv. Everything breaks down and a double neckbreaker takes Remy down. The Bollywood Blast finishes Marcel at 4:33.

Rating: C-. Another “just a match” match here and that doesn’t exactly surprise me. The wrestling has not been the strong suit on this wrestling show and that is quite the issue to get around. They had two teams in a match here and the good guys won to get a title shot against more villains. I’m not sure what else you should have expected here.

Post match the celebration is on but Christina Von Eerie runs in to jump the Boyz’s dancers. Reno Scum comes in to jump the Boyz but Amber Gallows (facing Von Eerie for the Women’s Title) runs in for the save.

Video on the Women’s Title match.

We start the second episode with a look at the Women’s Title match.

Christopher Mordetzky (Chris Masters), with his advocate Stu Stone (I think?) arrives with a bouquet of flowers.

Cielo Escorpion wants the Nex Gen Title.

Enigma wants the Nex Gen Title.

Bestia 666 wants the Nex Gen Title.

Enigma vs. Bestia 666 vs. Cielo Escorpion

Enigma is better known as Venum Black Jr. and wrestled around Mexico for a few years. Escorpion is Scorpio Sky under a mask. Bestia decks both of them to start and we’re already in the triple headlock. Escorpion is sent outside, leaving Enigma to hit a rather speedy headscissors on Bestia. Back in and Escorpion gets springboard armdragged outside, allowing Enigma to hit a flipping suicide dive. Enigma gets back inside where Bestia gives him a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, followed by a superkick into a standing moonsault for two on Escorpion.

Enigma is back in with a Code Red (not a Destroyer) for two on Bestia but Escorpion is back up with a jumping knee to the face. Escorpion’s big flip dive takes Bestia out again as we hear about WCW’s cruiserweight division. Bestia pops back up and drops Enigma, setting up a kneeling Musclebuster for two on Escorpion. Back up and Enigma grabs a satellite DDT on Bestia, followed by a running sunset flip (Fees: “I don’t even know what to call that!” It’s a running sunset flip.) for the pin at 5:09.

Rating: C+. This was mainly a bunch of spots and it worked out well enough, though the short time frame might have helped things. You could tell that Enigma was going to be the focal point of the match from the opening bell, which may or may not have been the best thing. It did what it needed to do, but it still fees like “hey we have a lucha/X-Division/Nex Gen match!” for no reason other than saying they have one on the show.

Here is Chael Sonnen for a chat, because he is tired of waiting on Jeff Jarrett. The Global Title is in the middle of the ring and in two weeks, these men will face off for the title. Cue Bobby Roode and Nick Aldis, with Roode now holding the TNA King Of The Mountain Title. Roode talks about all of the success that he has had elsewhere and brags about the title already on his shoulder.

The only thing standing between himself and the GFW Global Title is Aldis so now Roode has one obstacle left. Once he wins it, he is off to Nashville for a big celebration…or maybe he’ll just burn it in a trashcan. Aldis says Roode mentioned not wanting to be here, yet he is here anyway. That means he wants to be here but Roode is hedging his bets with TNA. Roode wants to roll the dice and see what happens but Aldis is here to win the title.

Cue Stu Stone and Christopher Mordetzky, with Stone saying they have been trying to get hold of Aldis. Nick doesn’t want to hear it, even when Stone makes a reference to Mickie James. Mordetzky has the flowers with him, with Roode saying Aldis should take them home to his wife and kid since he won’t be taking the title. Sonnen and Roode lay Aldis out. Nice enough segment to put some heat on the match, but Mordetzky is an energy killer.

We recap Christina Von Eerie vs. Amber Gallows for the Women’s Title. A lot of people like Gallows but Von Eerie has no compassion for or fear of her.

Women’s Title: Christina Von Eerie vs. Amber Gallows

For the inaugural title with Karen Jarrett here to present the belt. Von Eerie isn’t in for the Too Sweet so the brawl is on with Gallows spearing her down. The yet to be named YES Kicks into a running kick to the head have Von Eerie in even more trouble. Gallows gets kicked in the face as well though and Von Eerie takes her down to set up a kick to the back.

That doesn’t last long as Gallows is back up with a Russian legsweep and they head to the apron. A backdrop puts Von Eerie down onto the apron and then the floor, followed by a whip into the barricade for two. Back in and an Iconoclasm into a superkick gives Gallows two but the Amber Alert is broken up. The Dead Raising (cross arm Backstabber) gives Von Eerie the pin and the title at 6:34.

Rating: D+. I actually went back to make sure I had the time right because this was nothing. The match came and went with nothing to it and Von Eerie happened to win. They were certainly trying and the match wasn’t terrible, but what are you expecting from what is supposed to be some big match that doesn’t even get seven minutes?

We start the third episode with a look at the Tag Team Title match between Reno Scum and the Bollywood Boyz. They have both worked so hard to get here and now it is all about the titles. Points for focusing on the fact that they’re teams instead of a couple of people wrestling together.

Chael Sonnen rants about how Jeff Jarrett is screwing up the company (again) because Sonnen is a bigger star who draws more ratings and sells more tickets.

We look at how the Bollywood Boyz and Reno Scum made it to the finals.

Here are Jeff and Karen Jarrett for a chat. They are both very happy to be here and Jeff explains the four divisions (which really shouldn’t require an explanation) with the World Title being the main prize. Cue Chael Sonnen to say that he is responsible for all of this company’s success. He has been watching Jeff burn through so much of his family’s money that people are starting to call him Dixie.

Jeff says this isn’t the time or the place for Sonnen to ask for a match again but we’ll figure that out later. That’s not good enough for Sonnen but Karen says he means nothing around here. Sonnen says it’s amazing to see what $10,000 worth of silicone can get you. He isn’t here to talk to a woman, so he’ll talk to Kurt. Sonnen: “Sorry, I mean Jeff. If you want to fast forward to 2017, I can just call you Chael.”

Sonnen wants to see what Karen has and gets slapped in the face. With that out of the way, Sonnen says he’ll fight Phil Baroni and wrestle anyone. If he has to, he’ll go to the graveyard and dance on Jeff’s dad’s grave. I mean, that might be hard as Jerry Jarrett is still alive but Sonnen is the best talker around here so it’s hard to complain.

Video on the Tag Team Title match as the total filler on this episode continues.

Reno Scum talks about getting called to come into GFW and knowing it was their chance to win a real Tag Team Title.

The Bollywood Boyz talk about wrestling in Canada for years and finally getting their chance to make it elsewhere. Their father came from a part of India where you don’t have electricity after 6pm and now they want to make something better for their family. That’s a nice statement.

Back to Reno Scum, they want to make their families proud.

The Boyz are undersized and are ready to show what they are all about and what they can do.

Both teams talk about training/their diets as this video is still going. Scum says the Boyz have big hearts but people with big hearts die early deaths. Wow.

This whole thing went on over ten minutes and might as well have had a big FILLER flashing sign over it. Some of the stuff was fine if not good, but cut this WAY down.

Tag Team Titles: Reno Scum vs. Bollywood Boyz

For the inaugural titles with Jeff Jarrett there to present the belts. Christina Von Eerie is here with Scum and the Boyz have their Bollywood dancers. The brawl is on before the bell with the Boyz clearing the ring in a hurry. That means it’s time for the dives but Luster the Legend pulls Harv into a Texas Cloverleaf.

The fans are behind the home state Scum but Harv dropkicks Gurv in the back to break up a slam. A buckle bomb plants Harv though and Adam Thornstowe sends him into the corner for two. The chinlock goes on for a bit until Harv manages to get in his half of a double clothesline to put them both down. Gurv comes in for a spinwheel kick and a near fall on Thornstowe and it’s the Bollywood Blast for the same. A double superkick puts Luster on the floor but Harv’s dive only hits barricade.

Back in and Thornstowe’s Alberto double stomp gets two on Gurv. Harv is tied in the Tree of Woe and Gurv hits a running Razor’s Edge to knock them both silly. That doesn’t last long though as Luster is sent outside, leaving Thornstowe to eat a double superkick. A missile dropkick into a top rope elbow finishes Luster to give the Boyz the titles at 9:50.

Rating: C. Another match which was fine enough but has no impact other than getting to say the Boyz are the first champions. The Boyz going over is fine for a feel good moment and their (lengthy) video talking about wanting to make things better for their family was great, but they can’t get more than ten minutes?

Respect is shown post match.

We start the fourth episode looking at the Global Title match. Bobby Roode and Nick Aldis are both awesome and ready to go from different parts of the world. This is going to be another talking heavy show isn’t it?

Commentary welcomes us to the show and of course Sonnen is wearing the Global Title.

We recap how Aldis and Roode made the tournament finals.

Both guys arrived earlier.

We go to the hype video on the main event, talking about how important it is to be the champion. Fans are inspired by the champion and for the most part, it is only a dream for the wrestlers. Mick Foley pops in to say Bobby Roode is underrated and Jeff Jarrett is amazed that Roode is from another promotion but came here for the tournament.

We talk about Roode’s development and how he has moved up from a tag team guy to a main eventer.

Aldis knows Roode is good.

With that video done, we look at another video on how they got here. Now I know we already did this, but here’s a DETAILED look at their earlier matches. This includes Chris Mordetzky talking about going to see Mickie James, which was too far for Aldis. Then Aldis had to deal with Chael Sonnen, which didn’t go very far.

Foley still likes Roode’s chances.

Roode isn’t sure what he’ll do with the title when he wins.

After TWENTY MINUTES of hype videos, we’re ready to go. Remember that this was supposed to be an hour long TV show too, meaning this would probably have been over half of the show.

GFW Global Title: Bobby Roode vs. Nick Aldis

For the inaugural title and Jeff Jarrett is here to present the belt again. They go with the feeling out process to start as Sonnen keeps ripping on Jeff and Fees. Aldis takes him down without much trouble but the threat of the Spine Shaker (modified belly to back suplex) sends Roode outside.

Back in and Roode sends him into the corner and starts in on the arm. Roode drops some knees on the arm and the seated armbar goes on. Aldis breaks up a superplex attempt though and drops a top rope elbow for two. Roode is right back with the top rope Blockbuster for the same but Aldis catches him in a suplex for another near fall. The King’s Lynn Cloverleaf has Roode in more trouble until a rope is grabbed.

Roode is back with an enziguri into a Backstabber for his own two so it’s time to bring in the belt. That means the referee gets bumped and it’s a low blow into a belt shot to drop Aldis. The very delayed count gets two but the Roode Bomb is countered into a rollup which is countered into the Crossface on Aldis’ bad arm. That’s broken up as well and Aldis sends him into the corner, setting up the Spine Shaker for the pin and the title at 10:18.

Rating: C+. That’s almost out of pity, as it’s the longest match of the show and that’s hardly worth mentioning. The match was fine enough for a quick TV match but for the first World Champion? Much like with the Boyz winning the Tag Team Titles, it’s cool to see a champion crowned but it isn’t like this felt important or anything. The fans were dead and commentary didn’t really make it seem special, leaving it down to the wrestlers. They did what they could, but how epic is a ten minute match going to be most of the time?

Post match Jeff Jarrett presents Aldis with the title but here are Stu Stone and Chris Mordetzky for the brawl. Mordetzky hits him with the flowers, which had a lead pipe included. Kongo Kong joins in on the beatdown, with Aldis being left bloody. Jeff Jarrett comes in for the save and gets Masterlocked. The beatdown is on and Mordetzky lays the title onto Jeff to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. That’s the end of Amped and it couldn’t come faster. This wasn’t so much a bad show as much as uninteresting it was. It felt like they were just going through the motions and trying to check boxes off a list of things they needed to do here. None of the matches were memorable, the fans didn’t care, and the best person on the show was the heel commentator.

I’m not sure who would want to watch this as a weekly series as I could barely tell you what happened in the four episodes I just watched, let alone the first twelve. Amped was little more than Jeff Jarrett trying to do something TNA like again but without the talent or effort that TNA had. The matches could have been far worse, but they couldn’t have been much less interesting if they tried. Really boring show and thankfully the end of Amped, which didn’t deserve a future after this.

 

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Impact Wrestling – December 21, 2017 (Best of 2017 Part 1): When Your Best Just Isn’t Good Enough

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 21, 2017
Host: Josh Matthews

In a concept that is likely to draw a lot of jokes, this is a Best Of 2017 show with part two to follow next week. In other words there’s nothing new this week and we’ll be looking at a bunch of matches and segments from throughout the year. It’s probably not going to help the already low audiences though, making this a potentially very bad idea. Let’s get to it.

Note that since I’ll be copying and pasting the original versions of these matches, you’ll be seeing the full recaps. The versions that air on the show will likely be heavily clipped.

We get a quick look at the history of the company, basically saying they’re always changing.

From March 9 (with nothing saying the show’s date).

Here’s Bruce Prichard (formerly known as Brother Love) for a chat. Josh: “THIS IS WORSE THAN JB! WHO DUG THIS GUY UP???” He doesn’t remember Impact Wrestling being this way because he remembers people wanting to be great. They were almost there but for whatever reason, it didn’t all happen. This is not a rib but TNA is DEAD.

There are new owners and management, which means we have a new name: Impact Wrestling. These new owners are looking for people who have achieved greatness in the past, like Prichard himself. He was around when names like Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin and John Cena got their start so he knows greatness. Now he brings out Lashley, who talks about beating everyone put in front of him.

Cue Alberto El Patron, who the announcers put over as a big deal. Unfortunately the crowd doesn’t put him over as that big of a deal, though the SI chant is pretty loud. Alberto calls him a perro but here’s Ethan Carter III to cut him off. Carter wants a shot but Del Rio is given a title shot instead as Prichard can just make decisions like that.

Again from March 9.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Alberto El Patron vs. Lashley

Lashley is defending. Josh asks Pope if El Patron is going to be thrown off by the six sided ring but thankfully JB is there to say the six sided ring was invented in Mexico, meaning El Patron has a ton of experience. Pope gets in a good response by saying all the experience in the world doesn’t matter when you’re facing someone like Lashley. Nice little exchange there but it might be due to how horrible commentary has been all night.

Lashley takes him down in the corner to start and chokes with the boot before they head outside. Patron’s few strikes don’t work as Lashley knocks him outside again. A suplex gets two but it’s too early for the spear as Alberto dropkicks him down. The cross armbreaker over the ropes has Lashley in trouble and here Ethan Carter III to watch. Back from a break with Alberto making his comeback, only to have the ref get bumped.

Del Rio gets the cross armbreaker as a second referee comes in. Lashley powerbombs his way out of the hold (Pope: “HAYSTACKS CALHOUN WHAT A SLAM!”) and gets two off a spinebuster. The second referee is bumped and Lashley hits a second spinebuster. Lashley gets the belt but Alberto knocks it into the champ’s face for the pin and the title at 17:41.

Rating: D+. This was basically the WWE main event style and I’m really not wild about seeing that over and over again. It’s not a bad match or anything but having someone show up and win the title the night of their debut isn’t the best idea in the world, especially when it’s someone as uninteresting as Patron. At least the match was watchable though and Patron seems to be a face, which is the more interesting version.

The referees huddle and Lashley is livid as El Patron leaves to end the show. There’s a good chance that’s getting overturned.

Video on Alberto vs. Ethan Carter III.

Video on a variety of feuds, including Cody vs. Moose, Allie/Braxton Sutter vs. Laurel Van Ness and LAX vs. everyone.

Konnan and LAX promise violence.

From April 20.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Dezmond Xavier vs. Suicide vs. Andrew Everett vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. ???

Lee is defending and this is one fall to a finish. The last entrant is…..Low Ki, who hasn’t been around here for about two years. Low Ki is in the suit and there are no tags here, as is usually the custom. Dutt grabs a tornado DDT on Xavier while walking across everyone else’s chest in something out of the Matrix. A six way standoff sees Lee get dropkicked out to the floor.

Dutt moonsaults onto Suicide and Everett before sending Lee face first into the apron. Xavier avoids a Low Ki charge and moonsaults onto the pile as we take a break. Back with Everett taking the standing chest stomp from Lee. Trevor throws everyone out as Dutt seems to have an eye injury.

Things slow down a bit as Josh clarifies his status: “I said I’d leave. I left for a week and now I’m back.” Lee keeps throwing people out until Everett Pele’s him. We get a parade of kicks, including Xavier hitting a 619 around the post to Ki’s ribs. Dutt’s top rope splash gets two and Suicide does the fall onto everyone else. We’re officially in an overrun because we’re “LIVE” and you don’t know what’s going to happen.

Everett dives onto everyone but Xavier breaks up the shooting star. With Xavier on top, Everett tries a springboard reverse hurricanrana but only gets his legs on Xavier’s back. Thankfully Xavier lands on his feet instead of actually taking the move. Everett hits the Frankendriver on Lee, only to have Ki kick him to the floor. A top rope double stomp to Trevor gives Ki the title at 19:00.

Rating: C+. That would be annual “See, we care about the X-Division” match. I’ve never been a Low Ki fan and I’m even less of a fan of these multi-man cluster matches as they’re just a bunch of people doing spots until the final spot. On top of that, while it’s very nice to see some fresh blood, I’m so glad TNA wasted our time with the Everett vs. Lee story because HERE’S A BIG MULTI-MAN MATCH INSTEAD! The match was fun but it felt like a longer version of something we’ve seen many times before, which isn’t what the X-Division needs.

The announcers bicker again and Pope walks off. JB punches Josh to end the show.

From April 27.

Tag Team Titles: Decay vs. LAX

LAX is defending and this is a street fight. It’s a brawl to start (as it should be) with Decay getting the better of it, including Abyss taking both champs down with a double clothesline. The barbed wire board is thrown in and it’s off to a break. Back with a large selection of weapons in the ring and Homicide hitting Abyss in the back with a chair.

It’s time for the kendo stick shots to the back as the champs keep dominating. Abyss saves Steve from a double superplex and throws him onto both champs. A chokeslam gets no cover so Abyss pelts a chair at Ortiz’s head. Rosemary mists Abyss by mistake though, allowing Santana to spear him through a barbed wire board. Diamante German suplexes Rosemary and Abyss is sandwiched between two barbed wire boards.

Steve comes back in though and gets two off a Death Valley Driver with Konnan making the save. Thankfully Steve doesn’t bother with Konnan but he does have to deal with Homicide. That goes nowhere so Steve puts Ortiz on a table and covers him with tacks, only to have Homicide make another save. The Street Sweeper through the table retains the titles at 13:37.

Rating: C+. Good brawl with the ending looking better than anything else, though it wasn’t much of a surprise to have LAX win. They’re a better team than I thought we were going to get so the tag division is starting to look good for the first time in a long time. Unfortunately that’s it for Decay as Steve is WWE bound but at least Decay was fun while they lasted.

Video on the India tour, including Dutt vs. Low Ki.

X-Division Title: Sonjay Dutt vs. Low Ki

Dutt is challenging and still has his eyepatch on. A hard body shot puts Dutt down because he couldn’t see it coming thanks to the bad eye. The patch is pulled off and Dutt snaps off a hurricanrana into an armdrag. A dropkick sends Dutt to the floor and they fight into the crowd where Dutt has to escape a Ki Crusher.

Sonjay mostly misses a moonsault off the barricade but what looked to be Sliced Bread #2 is countered with a drop onto the steps. Back from a break with Low Ki stomping away and grabbing something like an abdominal stretch/Octopus Hold hybrid. Dutt fights out and Low Ki takes off the jacket, earning himself a great looking superplex.

Low Ki breaks up a sunset flip and snaps off a standing double stomp for two. A tornado DDT drops the champ (who has a bloody eye) and a top rope splash gives Dutt the title at 16:28. The commentary was rather horrible there as they barely reacted to either the setup or the title change.

Rating: B. Well that was sudden. There wasn’t exactly much of a build to the finish but at least they went with exactly what they should have done. This was the biggest layup of the entire taping cycle and they did exactly what they should have done without trying for some kind of a screwy finish.

Some wrestlers come out to celebrate with Dutt, including Shera putting him on his shoulders to end the show.

Josh wraps it up.

Overall Rating: C. I never know how to grade a Best Of show so we’ll go right in the middle. Above all else, the show really just illustrated how much things have changed in the last few months. Look around at what was going on in the first six months and compare it to now. It’s staggering how much different everything is in such a short amount of time.

The lack of a Knockouts match surprised me, but what didn’t surprise me was the company managing to botch something else: when they would jump to matches, many of them were joined in mid-SENTENCE. I know this company has no budget but they can’t even find someone to say “hey, maybe we should add an extra second to this so it doesn’t sound so weird”. At the end of the day, TNA is TNA and there’s no way around it.

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Impact Wrestling – November 9, 2017: Canadian Violence

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 9, 2017
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s time for a new year for Impact and that means we’re on a new taping cycle. Things should be a lot more energetic this week as we start to see what the latest new brain trust has in store for us. Eli Drake is still World Champion and we’ve proven that MMA is better than wrestling so let’s get to it.

Josh and JB are in the ring to run down some of the card.

We see a package from Bound For Glory.

Here are Eli Drake and Chris Adonis for the victory speech. Adonis has to tell the fans to stop cheering for Drake so he can introduce him as Canada’s favorite wrestler. With a bit of an echo in the arena, Drake says this was exactly how the plan was supposed to go. Now a JOHNNY chant cuts him off (sounds like they’re People Power fans) but he’s tired of hearing about Alberto El Patron being mistreated by the company.

It’s nothing compared to being mistreated by Eli Drake, who has tonight off due to his injuries from Bound For Glory. Cue Petey Williams we as begin catering to the live crowd instead of everywhere else. Petey wants a title shot tonight because Drake has never faced him. Drake agrees but for next week, which brings Petey down to the ring. Adonis gets dropped by a single kick but Drake escapes a Canadian Destroyer attempt.

Jimmy Jacobs comes out for commentary for the opening match.

Sonjay Dutt vs. Matt Sydal

They take each other down to the mat to start and let’s cut to a shot of the commentary! After confirming that they are in fact doing commentary, we go back to Dutt armdragging him into an armbar. Jacobs leaves commentary as Sydal takes Dutt down into something like a reverse Muta Lock (with Dutt on his back and his knee being bent). That goes nowhere so it’s off to a half crab with Dutt quickly making the rope.

Sydal goes up top but gets superplexed back down and we take a break. Back with an exchange of kicks to the leg until Sydal kicks him in the face for two. A leg lock has Dutt in trouble until he crawls over to the ropes for the save. Dutt grabs a tornado DDT and heads up top, only to miss…I think a splash. Sydal flips him down and hits the shooting star for the pin at 15:34.

Rating: C+. Well that was long. I can appreciated the idea of the X-Division guys getting to showcase themselves a bit more, though I still would love some stories in these things. Sydal wants the title, though after seeing him challenge Lashley a few months back, it’s kind of hard to care about him going after the dead X-Division Title.

Post match Ethan Carter III of all people comes out, which hopefully means the AAA nonsense is over. Carter says it’s another win for Sydal, but that’s what he always does, at least until we get to the big moment where he always chokes. Ethan knows he’s the best around here but Sydal is just another talented guy who doesn’t have the whole package. Maybe Sydal can be reborn again, this time as a winner.

And now, here’s a good chunk of a six man tag from 2004 with Team Canada vs. Amazing Red/Sonjay Dutt/Hector Garza. This is an ad for the Global Wrestling Network and suggests to me that on the first show after the biggest show of the year, they already need filler because they can’t film enough at their tapings. That’s not good.

GHC World Title: El Hijo de Fantasma vs. Eddie Edwards

Eddie, an American, is defending the Japanese title against a luchador from Mexico in Canada. Before the match, we have to confirm that this is in fact a sanctioned match, complete with a Pro Wrestling Noah representative. Feeling out process to start with Eddie’s hammerlock getting nowhere. Instead he goes up top, only to get pulled down with a hurricanrana for two. A superplex gets Eddie out of trouble but he’s a bit too banged up to do anything with it.

Eddie’s Blue Thunder Bomb gets two and he kicks Fantasma in the mask to stop a suicide dive. Fantasma has to stomp Eddie’s feet to break up a tiger driver on the apron but Eddie is right back with a suicide dive. Back up and Fantasma scores with one of his own but still can’t put Eddie away. The tiger driver gives Eddie two more but the Boston Knee Party is blocked by a dropkick. Fantasma heads up again but misses whatever he was trying, setting up the Boston Knee Party. Die Hart Flowsion retains the title at 9:54.

Rating: B. Good, hard hitting match here with Eddie showing how good he really can be. That being said, I’d still love an actual story for some of these bigger matches. Having the GHC Title defended here is fine, but could we have a reason someone wants to face Eddie other than it’s a title?

OVE/Sami Callihan vs. Phil Atlas/Marcus Burke/Ray Steele

The lights are way down now to hide the small crowd. Sami charges right at Atlas to start and it’s a triple kick to the head in the corner. It’s off to Steele who eats a triple boot to the face, followed by Sami putting him in an electric chair. Dave does the same to Jake, who grabs Steele in a cutter for the pin at 1:54.

Post match here’s LAX to keep the fight going. The beating is on and OVE and Sami bail after getting beaten down. So it really was a double turn.

Global Forged winner Hakim Zane tries to talk but Johnny Impact runs in to say he’s coming for Alberto.

From Border City Wrestling in Windsor, Ontario, Canada.

Allie vs. KC Spinelli

Spinelli gets in a few shots to start but Allie speeds things up to send her into the corner. That’s fine with KC, who whips her around the ring without much effort. Allie avoids a charge and a dropkick to the back sends Spinelli into the corner for two. A neckbreaker drops Allie for two more, followed by a fisherman’s suplex for the same.

Not that it matters as Allie grabs a Codebreaker for….just two actually. They’re working a lot harder than I would have expected here. Spinelli misses a moonsault though, allowing Allie to grab a Death Valley driver for the pin at 7:08. Thankfully that means we get to hear her incredibly bubbly music for a nice bonus

Rating: B-. This was much better than I was expecting and I wouldn’t be surprised if Spinelli didn’t get some more bookings out of this. Allie is sch a breath of fresh air to all the serious wrestlers around here and feels more like what Bayley should have been on the main roster. Really nice little match here too.

Alberto tells Johnny Impact to bring it.

Allie is worried about Gail Kim’s big announcement next week. She’s still insanely adorable.

Alberto is sitting down when Johnny Impact DIVES at him, looking almost like a spear. The fight is on in catering with Alberto getting away, only to have Johnny get into a fight with Braxton Sutter of all people. Caleb Konley shows up and fights Sutter instead, leaving Johnny and Alberto to brawl out the door and into the loading area, where a camera just happens to be waiting. Johnny gets in a few more shots until they head inside again with Impact trying some chokes.

Alberto comes back with a wet floor sign as this has been going for over five minutes. After throwing Johnny through a door, Alberto climbs a ladder for no adequately explored reason. With Alberto sitting on top of a restroom, Johnny throws the ladder down….and then climbs up the Pepsi machine to knock Alberto off. Alberto hangs onto the roof until falling down (only a few feet) and security FINALLY grabs him. That’s fine with Johnny, who hits a huge dive, taking out Alberto and security as we go to a break.

Back with the brawl still going as Alberto beats him down some more, only to have it spill into the arena with the fans not sounding pleased. Security comes out for another save attempt and Alberto grabs a mic to say this is his company. He calls Johnny a crazy guy and security actually holds Johnny back for a change. Alberto rips on the company for holding him back and screwing him but he’s willing to continue the battle in the ring.

Security lets Johnny get in and Alberto bails, only to have Johnny say Alberto calls himself the pride of Mexico but he’s not even the pride of his own father. The fight is on again with security taking another beating until Alberto gets in a cheap shot. A DDT plants Johnny and Alberto tells security to get out of here if they want to get paid tonight. The cross armbreaker over the ropes has Johnny screaming until the referees break it up to end the show after SEVENTEEN MINUTES between these two.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a really tricky one to grade. For one thing, the wrestling tonight was quite good. The title match was solid, the women’s match was a nice surprise and the fifteen minute X-Division match worked very well. What didn’t work for me though was how little we seemed to actually have move forward. LAX vs. OVE is still going, Impact vs. Alberto is likely going to include Drake soon and be a continuation of the World Title feud from the last month and a half and the X-Division is still about the same.

What’s getting on my nerves is how much time they have to spend on stuff other than Impact Wrestling. Allie vs. Spinelli was good, but how many of those matches from outside the company are going to be? It’s obviously them filling in as much time as they can with their limited content, but when they do it over and over again, it gets a little annoying. Throw in the brawl that went longer than any match and it really does feel like they’re just trying to fill in the show without having actual wrestling, which is rarely a good sign.

That being said, I’ll take a show with some good matches and a lot of energy over the boring, dull, mostly unnecessary TV shows we’ve been having in the last few weeks. At least we had some good matches this time around and that’s a lot more than I’ve been able to say since…..August maybe?

Results

Matt Sydal b. Sonjay Dutt – Shooting star press

Eddie Edwards b. El Hijo de Fantasma – Die Hard Flowsion

OVE/Sami Callihan b. Ray Steele/Phil Atlas/Marcus Burke – Elevated cutter to Burke

Allie b. KC Spinelli – Death Valley Driver

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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One Night Only: Amped Anthology Part I: The Weight of the Wait

One Night Only: Amped Anthology Part I
Date: August 11, 2017
Location: Orleans Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Cyrus Fees, Chael Sonnen

So this exists. Back in 2015, Global Force Wrestling FINALLY got around to their TV tapings and over two years later, we’re FINALLY getting to see the things. Most of these people have moved on to different promotions but I’m really interested in seeing how these things were going to be. There were eight one hour episodes and I believe we have four of them here tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick intro, basically saying that none of this is scripted. It also comes off like a partial reality show with a lot of focus on people working as hard as they can to get here. It’s amazing how many of these names are already in WWE and in many cases have already won titles there.

The announcers welcome us to the show with Chael playing a heel and loving the idea of tournaments to win titles.

It’s a six sided ring because of course it is.

Nex Gen Title Tournament First Round: Seiya Sanada vs. PJ Black

The production values are quite good, probably better than today’s Impact. We get the crazy spinouts from the wristlocks to start and it’s off to a standoff. Black flips him down to the mat and grabs a headlock as the announcers explain Black’s background. A kick to the back of the head gets two on Sanada but he pops right back up with a dropkick. Black springboards into a dropkick to the ribs and we hit the abdominal stretch.

That goes nowhere (like you would expect it to in this kind of a match) so Black spinkicks him down, only to miss the top rope Lionsault. Sanada misses his own though and it’s a double breather. Back up and Black fires off some kicks but gets caught on top. A tiger suplex gives Sanada two and a TKO gets the same. Sanada loads up a superplex but gets shoved off, setting up the springboard 450 to send Black on at 8:45.

Rating: C+. So you know all those other X-Division style matches that don’t have much of a story but feature a bunch of pretty good flips and dives? Well this is one of them. Black is a good high flier and Sanada is a bit more well rounded but these matches just kind of come and go for me. It was good but another X-Division/Cruiserweight Title doesn’t do much for me anymore. We’ve seen it so many times that seeing it again isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world.

Here are the brackets for the first time.

Black

Sonjay Dutt

Jigsaw

TJP

Andrew Everett

Trevor Lee

TBD

Video on Kevin Kross. Believe it or not, he was inspired by Japanese wrestling.

The resident lucha libre team is ready for their six man tag later and two of them are ready to win the Tag Team Titles.

Here’s Bobby Roode, to his own Against the Grain TNA theme, for a chat. Roode says he doesn’t belong here because he’s always been and always will be a TNA guy. He lists off a bunch of people he’s held the TNA World Title than, which is better known as a list of people who will never be here. He’s here tonight to take the GFW World Title from Jeff Jarrett (who isn’t champion mind you) but here’s Nick Aldis, better known as Magnus, to interrupt. Aldis says this isn’t the Impact Zone and Jarrett brought everyone here to join the force. Cue Kongo Kong (who looks just as bad as he does now) to jump Aldis, allowing Roode to grab a Crossface.

Black is ready to move forward towards the title.

Video on Jarrett creating the company.

Bestia 666/Blood Eagle/Samu Jr. vs. Los Luchas/Misterioso Jr.

Zokre and Eagle start things off with a lucha sequence, which Sonnen says is reminiscent of the Hart Foundation. Everything breaks down and Zokre gets beaten down with a wheelbarrow Codebreaker planting him. The triple teaming makes things even worse with all of the technicos taking a beating as we head to a break.

Back with Eagle powerbombing Zokre for two as the announcers are trying to keep up with everything going on to little avail. Misterioso hits an Asai moonsault onto Samu and Los Luchas add stereo running flip dives. A Codebreaker and a hurricanrana driver plants Eagle and something like a Lionsault gives Misterioso the pin at 6:14 shown.

Rating: C. This was your run of the mill lucha insanity but I have no idea who any of these people are. Commentary did a horrible job of telling us who they were and there was no reason to like one team over the other. It wasn’t bad but the days of just doing lucha for the sake of doing lucha are long behind us. Well save for around here and on 205 Live of course and it’s no wonder that neither is the most successful product in the world.

Here are the brackets for the Tag Team Title tournament:

Bollywood Boyz

Akbars

Los Luchas

Reno Scum

Celo/Misterioso

Teaze N Sleaze

Bullet Club

Killer Elite Squad

Preview of the rest of the season.

The second episode begins with a recap of last week’s show, even if it didn’t seem like much happened. The big focus is on Roode vs. Kross for a spot in the GFW World Title tournament.

Virgil Flynn and Kushida are ready to go after the Nex Gen Title.

Kushida vs. Virgil Flynn

Non-tournament and non-title with Kushida’s IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title not on the line. I’ve never heard of Flynn but Kushida is probably my favorite New Japan guy. They fight over a wristlock to start until Kushida grabs a front facelock to take over. A drop toehold puts Kushida into 619 position though and a kick to the head staggers him even more. Back in and Kushida kicks him down before sending him shoulder first into the post.

Bored of that, Kushida hits the basement dropkick for two. Virgil gets in a jawbreaker, which Chael describes as old school. It’s too early for the Hoverboard Lock and Virgil snaps him off the top with a hurricanrana. Kushida wins a slugout but his crossbody is countered into a powerslam for two. A 450 hits knees though and Kushida fires off kicks to the arm before just punching him in the jaw. The Hoverboard Lock makes Flynn tap at 10:37.

Rating: C+. Flynn wasn’t bad though this was just a step above an extended squash. Having Kushida around is a good idea as he’s one of the best in-ring talents in the world, though having the IWGP Title out there didn’t look good. You’re trying to convince people that you’re the best in the world. Don’t mention other promotions every chance you get as it makes you look like you’re riding their coattails instead of standing on your own. See also a major problem for GFW and ROH today.

Aldis says he’s fine and can appreciate Kong trying to make a name for himself. He’ll be winning the GFW Title though.

Kushida and Flynn endorse each other.

Video on the women of GFW. This includes Karen Jarrett talking about how many opportunities the women will be getting because she’s this company’s Stephanie McMahon.

Video on Kevin Kross, who seems to be a shooter/MMA guy with some anger issues.

Video on Chris Mordetzky, who is totally different than when he was in WWE.

Video on the Bollywood Boyz, now known as the Singh Brothers.

GFW World Title Tournament Qualifying Match: Bobby Roode vs. Kevin Kross

Roode works on the arm to start before lounging on the top rope. Kross reverses a hammerlock and runs him over, which isn’t exactly what I think of when I hear someone is a shooter. A quick breather on the floor seems to do Roode some good as he comes back in and sends Kross into the post.

The bad arm is rammed into the barricade a few times, which I guess isn’t MMA style as Kross is in even more trouble. Back from a break with Roode hitting the Hennig necksnap and cranking on the arm some more. The spinebuster looks to set up the Roode Bomb but Kross escapes into a rollup. Not that it matters as Roode reverses into the Crossface for the tap at 7:39.

Rating: D+. So much for the shooter/MMA guy. I know Jarrett did the thing where he was a fake MMA guy but does he know that there’s such a thing as real MMA style wrestlers? Kross was every run of the mill angry wrestler here with nothing that suggested he had a shoot background whatsoever. That left us with little more than a glorified (though not glorious) squash, which doesn’t do much for Kross.

Video on the Akbars, doing the standard “we’re treated differently because we look different” stuff.

Episode three begins with another recap.

Here’s a lounge singer named Henry Maxwell for no logical reason other than to be beaten down by the Akbars before their match.

GFW Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Akbars vs. Bollywood Boyz

The Akbars are Ali and Omar, both of whom are best known from OVW. Gurv and Omar start things off and it’s a small package for two on Omar. That means it’s already off to Ali, who is sent scurrying back to Omar thanks to an armdrag. They have quite the low tolerance for pain.

Some double teaming puts Harv in trouble though and it’s a double suplex for no cover. Back from a break with Harv still in the wrong corner and a snap suplex into a chinlock. A running knee and elbow drop get two but hang on because we need to plug an upcoming Karen Jarrett appearance.

We get the classic fight to the corner for a tag the referee doesn’t see, which always makes me smile a bit. Omar misses a middle rope leg and there’s the hot tag to Gurv. A DDT and spinwheel kick get two as everything breaks down. Harv hits a top rope back elbow to the jaw, setting up a top rope elbow drop for the pin on Ali at 8:52.

Rating: D+. This was quite a bit of nothing special with the Akbars being as generic a set of villains as you could find. The Boyz were better, though still not exactly setting the world on fire. Their actual wrestling has never been great though at least they seem to have found their calling as the crash dummies for Jinder Mahal.

Sonjay Dutt is ready to win the Nex Gen Title to go with his bachelor’s degree.

Jigsaw is a masked man who has wrestled everywhere and sounds very standard for having such a cool name. He’s a hybrid wrestler and wants to win the Nex Gen Title too.

Another video on Mordetzky, with a lot of the same material being covered.

Here’s Karen Jarrett, who is introduced as the Queen of the Knockouts. She makes a women’s match for the main event but Lei’D Tapa and her manager Royal Red cut her off. Red doesn’t want to hear about the old news that is Mickie James. Karen tells her to shut up because she’s all tough and awesome. She wants Tapa to cage up her husband before her triple threat tonight with James and Christina Von Eerie.

Video on Kevin Kross, who wants to fight Bobby Roode again.

Nick Aldis is ready to face Kongo Kong.

GFW Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Lei’D Tapa vs. Mickie James vs. Christina Von Eerie

The winner is in the finals because this tournament isn’t exactly deep. Tapa shrugs off an early double teaming attempt and we’re off to a way too early break. Back with more double teaming working better and Tapa being sent outside. Mickie hurricanranas Christina out of the corner as Tapa gets back in.

A double Samoan drop….hurts Tapa as well as she bumps her head on the way down. The Barbarian’s niece shouldn’t be hurt by a blow to the head like that. Come on and get your stereotypes right already people. James and Von Eerie double team Tapa down again but get in an argument over the cover (you might have seen this idea before). The MickieDT (and a bad one at that) drops Tapa but Von Eerie sends James outside. A Backstabber to Tapa puts Von Eerie in the finals at 6:58.

Rating: D+. Another lackluster match that followed the same formula you’ve seen for this match a dozen or more times. Von Eerie going over is interesting and probably a better call as James is an established star and Tapa, no matter how many companies hire her, still isn’t interesting. Not terrible here but I’m already forgetting parts of it.

Von Eerie gets the winner of Katarina Leigh, the Bullet Babe and Lauren James. She’s ready for any of them.

Here are the brackets for the World Title tournament:

Chris Mordetzky

Brian Myers

Nick Aldis

Kongo Kong

Shelton Benjamin

JR Kratos

Bobby Roode

TBD

The lounge singer from earlier turns out to be Kong’s manager. Uh….ok then.

Episode four means another recap.

Video on Sonjay Dutt vs. Jigsaw.

Nex Gen Title Tournament First Round: Sonjay Dutt vs. Jigsaw

They speed things up to start and it’s the fast paced moves with little to no impact that almost always start these things off. Jigsaw scores with a few shots to the face and a dropkick gets two. Cyrus talks about Jigsaw taking a title from Dutt in CZW to put him on the map. Chael: “You did NOT see that match.” Cyrus: “Uhhh…..”.

After making the face announcer look like an idiot like that, Dutt fights out of a Gory Stretch and dropkicks him to the floor. Back in and Dutt kicks him in the face before grabbing an Octopus Hold. Jigsaw sends him outside for the required flip dive, followed by the missile dropkick back inside.

Neither can hit a piledriver so we’ll go with the standard superkick to drop Jigsaw instead. A standing shooting star gets two and a tornado DDT gets the same. Jigsaw avoids a charge and hits a double stomp to the back, followed by a kneeling reverse piledriver (Jig and Tonic) to advance at 10:15.

Rating: C. Another good, fast paced match here though still nothing that hasn’t been done before. Dutt is a name that has been around forever while Jigsaw, who I’ve liked in the times I’ve seen him, was basically lost as soon as I heard him talk for the first time. His name and look suggests something mysterious but he’s just another guy from New York. Think this stuff through people.

Video on Kongo Kong attacking Nick Aldis on the first episode to set off their feud. Or whatever you can count as a feud here as they’re just having one tournament match.

Jigsaw is happy and Dutt praises him for his win.

Here’s Chael Sonnen in the ring for a chat. He immediately heels it up by telling everyone to be quiet and insults MMA fighter Phil Baroni in the front row. Sonnen issues something of a challenge and says the fight would be one more for the bad guy. Now he calls out Virgil Flynn and mocks him for the loss, only to say that he’s in the Nex Gen Title tournament anyway. I guess Kushida was too busy. PJ Black comes out, tells Flynn that he’s awesome, and superkicks him for a heel turn. Eh you have to turn someone.

Video on Brian Myers (Curt Hawkins) who wants to win the title.

Video on Reno Scumm.

GFW World Title Tournament First Round: Kongo Kong vs. Nick Aldis

Maxwell does Kong’s entrance and is a pretty lame heel manager. The fight is on in a hurry with Kong missing a charge in the corner and falling out to the floor. Back in and Kong hammers away some more because he’s big and fat and therefore strong. Maxwell gets in a cheap shot from the floor so Kong can get two off a legdrop. We hit the nearly required bearhug and a belly to belly gets two on Nick.

Back from a break with Kong yelling at the referee so Maxwell can get in a cheap shot. That means another bearhug as they’re certainly staying within the lines of the paint by numbers formula. Aldis fights out and hits a belly to back suplex, followed by some clotheslines for two. A superplex plants Kong and the top rope elbow gets two. Maxwell offers a distraction so Kong can hit the Cannonball for two more. Kong misses a moonsault though and the Spine Shaker sends Aldis on at 9:27.

Rating: D+. What in the world does Jarrett see in Kongo Kong? He’s embarrassing looking and doesn’t do anything of note in the ring. We’ve seen big guys do moonsaults for over twenty years now and it’s certainly not as impressive as Vader’s or even Bam Bam Bigelow’s. He’s just a big guy who looks like a monster, which isn’t exactly the most impressive thing in the world. Aldis was the only option here and thankfully he slayed the monster in relatively short order.

Overall Rating: C-. This is one of the trickiest things I’ve ever had to grade. First of all, it’s really hard to look at this as it was originally intended. These shows were A, meant to be seen week to week and B, aired two years ago. In 2017, it comes off like a bunch of Impact guys and people who have left for the greener pastures of WWE. That’s a very different presentation than they were shooting for but it’s really hard to look at it as originally intended.

As for the show itself….it’s really just ok at best. I look at the lineups and matches here and all I see is a group of people who aren’t good enough to be in WWE. Myers and Mordetzky stand out for me above all others. They’re the definition of WWE rejects and neither showed anything here to make me think that they’re anything more than generic wrestlers. That’s the case with a lot of people on the show and it doesn’t do it many favors.

You also have the severe lack of stories, though that’s to be expected on the first set of shows. This is ALL about the tournaments and really nothing more. The only other story is Roode wanting to mess with the company and even then he’s in the tournament. That’s fine for something like this but it needs to change going forward.

Another big problem is the commentary. It really felt like neither of these two knew a lot about professional wrestling. Sonnen sounded like he knew the combat stuff but his heel shtick felt really, really forced, especially his in-ring promo (which I remember hearing was literally just thrown in because Sonnen wanted to do it and Jarrett said sure). It seemed like they were given some notes about each wrestler and little more, which doesn’t mean you know something about the wrestling itself. It was really noticeable and became annoying very quickly.

Let’s talk about some of the good things because they definitely do exist. First of all, the presentation is great. The show looks like an upper level production with good lighting, good graphics and no major errors or flaws. It feels like you’re watching something with a budget and some effort and that can make all the difference in the world.

It also helped that the wrestling was all perfectly acceptable. There’s some stuff that wasn’t as good as the rest but it was all watchable enough with nothing embarrassing. They weren’t trying to reinvent the wheel with the matches and it made for a good enough outing, which is often all you can ask for from something like this.

Overall, the show isn’t bad but it’s also nothing that really stands out other than a historical (work with me here) curiosity. I’ll probably watch the other parts in the series (Part II, likely out of four total, has already been given a release date) and hopefully things pick up a bit. This could have been something, though it’s hardly anything that blows you away like New Japan or unique like Lucha Underground. It’s really just the not quite good enough for WWE troupe going out and putting on a pretty standard set of shows. Nothing bad, but also nothing memorable.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – August 17, 2017 (Destination X): Enjoy It While It Lasts

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 17, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s a big night around here as we have Destination X. This show is almost all about the X-Division, but it turns out that we also need a new World Champion. Alberto El Patron is still suspended and has now been stripped of the title. The situation will be handled tonight but we have no idea how. Let’s get to it.

Bobby Lashley and American Top Team (MMA camp) arrive with the leader meeting with Jeff Jarrett.

A video recaps the card.

Opening sequence.

McKenzie Mitchell can’t get an interview with Bruce Prichard but did see someone shocking in his office. Naturally she can’t say who that was but she did see someone.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Sienna

Kim is challenging and the ropes are now green. They look like the tubes of mutagen on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Gail grabs a crucifix to start until they head outside with Sienna dropping her onto the steps. Back in and Sienna knees her down for two, followed by a backbreaker into a fall away slam. A superplex is countered into a sunset bomb to kickstart Kim’s comeback, including a crossbody for two. The AK47 doesn’t work but Gail grabs Eat Defeat, which draws KM onto the apron. Gail forearms him to the floor but here’s the returning Taryn Terrell with a cutter to lay Gail out. Now the AK47 can retain the title at 7:02.

Rating: C-. Better than I was expecting here but I don’t buy for a second that this is it for Kim. This seems to be looking towards Gail winning the title and retiring at Bound For Glory because that’s what someone of her magnitude gets to be awarded. The match wasn’t bad and Taryn being back is a very welcome surprise.

Matt Sydal is ready to show what he can really do because he moves at hyper speed and sees in slow motion.

Here’s Bruce Prichard with the new World Title to announce that Alberto El Patron has vacated the title and wishes him the best in his future endeavors (without ever saying he was released or fired etc.). As head corporate adviser, it turns out that Bruce can return the title to any former champion he wishes. Therefore he’ll give it to Bobby Lashley, but here’s Jim Cornette of all people instead. He and Bruce have a short chat (with Bruce mentioning double cheeseburgers at Dairy Queen to silence) but Cornette has a bit of a surprise.

See, Anthem has a lot of interests but doesn’t know much about wrestling. Therefore, he’s been brought in to take care of some of those issues. Bruce calls security on him but Cornette goes on a rant (I’m as shocked as you are) and yells at Bruce for overstepping his bounds and driving everyone crazy.

Therefore, Bruce is fired and security takes him away. Cornette sets the record straight: Alberto didn’t vacate the title because he was stripped of it. We’re not going to have big stars come in here and say they’re on vacation while being handed things. Instead they’re going to have to fight to earn things or deal with him. Next week we’ll be having a twenty man Gauntlet for the Gold to crown a new World Champion.

Cornette goes to leave but here’s LAX to interrupt. After a break, Konnan says Low Ki should be the #1 and facing the winner of that gauntlet match. Cornette doesn’t agree because he may be a cracker (which Konnan had called him) but he’s not a liar. Low Ki says he smells fear on Cornette but Cornette says Low Ki can be #20 in the gauntlet. Konnan isn’t scared of legal threats and threatens violence. Cornette doesn’t seem to care and leaves.

Super X Cup Finals: Taiji Ishimori vs. Dezmond Xavier

They speed things up to start with neither being able to hit much until Xavier nails a dropkick. Ishimori sends him outside without too much effort though and things slow down a bit. Back in and a gutbuster puts Xavier down as Josh talks about the upcoming GFW Network streaming service. After a waistlock keeps Xavier in trouble, Ishimori hits a springboard seated senton, followed by some double knees to the chest. Xavier is right back up but his hurricanrana is countered into a faceplant. The 450 gives Ishimori two so Xavier enziguris him into the corner, followed by a moonsault Pele for the pin at 5:30.

Rating: D+. I’m sorry what now? After hearing about how AMAZING this tournament was for over a month, the finals don’t even go six minutes? This was an amazingly disappointing and completely unnecessary tournament, which really doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. Xavier is a good choice to win the tournament but he beat a bunch of people who mean nothing in this promotion. Ishimori never showed me much, though it’s not like he was given the chance in the first place.

Xavier says this means a lot but he’s coming for the X-Division Title.

Bruce and Karen Jarrett shout at each other a lot in a story that hasn’t been explained and no one cares about. Basically Karen is glad to see him gone and is glad he’s out.

Grado’s visa has expired and he has to leave. Joseph Park says he won’t let Grado go out like a mark because he’ll get to say his goodbye in the ring next week.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Sonjay Dutt

Ladder match with Dutt defending. Sonjay sends him outside in a hurry before grabbing a hurricanrana back inside. Lee gets in a ladder to the ribs to take over and sends the ladder inside. Something like a suplex drops Sonjay back first onto the ladder and we take an early break. Back with Lee loading up the ladder for the slow climb, allowing Sonjay to make the save.

Lee takes him down again and brings in a table, because that’s likely to help him climb a ladder you see. The delay lets Dutt kick him down and put Lee on the table, only to get crotched on top. A hard forearm puts him outside and the announcers recap things instead of talking about the match.

Lee bridges a ladder between the ropes and the standing ladder but Sonjay takes him down again. A springboard splash onto Lee onto the ladder allows Dutt to climb but here’s Caleb Konley to powerbomb Dutt through the table. Cue Petey Williams of all people with a Canadian Destroyer on Konley to put everyone down. Dutt springboards up onto the ladder, knocks Lee down, and retains at 16:03.

Rating: B-. Best match of the night by far with the right ending. Dutt has barely been able to have the title after this whole thing with Bruce allowing Lee to hold the title as long as he did. Williams returning is a nice moment for older fans but I’m not sure how much it does for the modern audience. Good match, though nothing we haven’t seen a dozen times in ladder matches.

Lashley knows his opponent’s name: Loser.

Jason Cade/Zachary Wentz vs. OVE

OVE is Ohio vs. Everything, better known as the Crist Brothers or the Irish Airborne. Wentz knees Jake in the face to start but he charges into a boot in the corner. It’s off to Dave for a knee to the head, followed a superkick to knock Cade out of the air. A spinning kick to the head sets up a running kick to the leg/running kick to the knee combo (something like High/Low) for the pin on Cade at 2:12. Not the best debut but I’ve seen worse.

Eli Drake, Chris Adonis, Moose and Ethan Carter III annoy Cornette and get put in the gauntlet with Drake going in at #1.

Video on Lashley vs. Sydal with the winner getting a shot at whatever title he wants.

Matt Sydal vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley runs him over to start with a shoulder sending Matt outside. A kick to the head staffers Lashley but he comes right back with a crossbody for two. Sydal can’t hit a pop up hurricanrana and gets thrown outside again as we take a break. Back with Lashley destroying Sydal as the announcers brag about Lashley’s MMA teammates, which really just makes me want to watch UFC.

We hit the face ripping for a bit, followed by a delayed vertical suplex. Lashley misses the spear though and a spinwheel kick puts him down. A tornado DDT drops Lashley again but he breaks up the shooting star. The top rope double knees get two on Lashley but his powerslam gets the same. The Dominator gets two more and it’s chair time. That means a Van Daminator to put Lashley down, which somehow isn’t a DQ. Sydal’s shooting star hits knees but the spear hits post, allowing Sydal to grab a rollup for the pin at 14:50.

Rating: C+. Lashley is a great monster heel but it seems like he loses far more than not lately. Sydal winning is the right call and there’s no reason not to put the X-Division Title on him (unless you do the smart thing by moving him towards the main event scene, even if it would prove that the X-Division means nothing). Lashley will be fine with whatever he does of course and I’m sure he’ll be a force in next week’s gauntlet.

Post match one of the MMA fighters chokes the referee until his teammates break it up.

Johnny Impact (Morrison/Mundo/Hennigan) is here next week. He even mentions all of the titles he currently holds.

Overall Rating: B-. There are still some big problems but this was light years better than the previous shows. While I’m not exactly sold on the idea that everything is better (this company has a long history of starting great and then faltering in a hurry), this was a major improvement and an entertaining show. In other words, once you get to the end of the stories instead of dragging them out forever, things get a lot better. Or maybe it’s a lack of focus on Alberto vs. LAX in the least interesting feud of the year. Anyway, good show tonight and I’m interested in the title match next week.

Above all else though, this show felt like it was changing a lot of the stuff that didn’t work. Prichard was one of the worst on screen authority figures I can remember in a long time and Cornette is a major upgrade. He’s much more well known and a far better talker, though you can expect him to blow up and leave in a matter of weeks. The wrestling was better and some of the bigger names being brought in help. I have no confidence in it lasting but it’s a good sign that a lot of the bad stuff is gone and they went with some stuff that worked.

Results

Sienna b. Gail Kim – AK47

Dezmond Xavier b. Taiji Ishimori – Moonsault Pele

Sonjay Dutt b. Trevor Lee – Dutt pulled down the title

OVE b. Jason Cade/Zachary Wentz – Kick to the head/kick to the leg combination

Matt Sydal b. Bobby Lashley – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – August 10, 2017: For Those Of You Who Like To See Me Rant

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 10, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero, Jeremy Borash

The battle between Alberto El Patron and LAX continues but this time around LAX has some help in the form of Low Ki. Last week Low Ki helped LAX against El Patron and his family, revealing himself as the newest member of the team. Other than that we’ll find out the other finalist in the Super X Cup tournament. Let’s get to it.

We open with LAX and the Veterans of War brawling in the parking lot. They’ll fight for the Tag Team Titles later tonight. I like the idea of pushing the Veterans of War but is there a reason they weren’t even mentioned last week?

Video on the Last Knockout Standing match between Sienna and Rosemary with Sienna narrating about how you have to govern in light or darkness but the hero always falls.

Opening sequence.

Sienna is sitting in the ring and says she’s the epitome of a champion. She’s dealt with every challenge Karen Jarrett has thrown at her but now she has a mystery opponent at Destination X. This show isn’t continuing until she gets some answers, so here’s Karen to respond. Sienna says no one can be ready for her in a week but Karen says the opponent is always ready. In the worst surprise ever, it’s Gail Kim. I’m laughing. Really, I am. We’re supposed to be stunned that Gail Kim is getting a title shot. I’m laughing. The fight is on with Gail diving off the apron with a clothesline and some right hands. Referees break it up.

Joseph Park gives Grado a pep talk before they have a handicap match against Kongo Kong later. Park says his football coach taught him that the fear of the hit is worse than the fear itself. Grado doesn’t know what that means and Park doesn’t either. Grado: “Why don’t you call and ask him?” Park: “He died a few years ago.”

Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. vs. Hijo de Fantasma/Naomichi Marufuchi

Fantasma and Kid start things up with an exchange of non-near falls into a standoff. Garza comes in and eats a basement dropkick for two but catches Marufuchi with a Codebreaker for the same. Everything breaks down with Kid and Fantasma both hitting huge dives to the floor. Back in and a hurricanrana sets up a frog splash for two on Garza but Kid takes Fantasma down with a tornado DDT.

In quite the complicated spot, Garza picks Fantasma up for a powerbomb while also holding Marufuchi in a World’s Strongest Slam. At the same time, Kid adds a top rope leg lariat to Fantasma to make it kind of a Doomsday Device to put both opponents down at the same time. Naturally, it gets two. Kid misses a Phoenix Splash and it’s time for that stupid deal where you throw partners together and make one DDT the other.

We pause for Garza to take off his pants but thankfully the distraction lets Marufuchi and Fantasma superkick him down. Something like a GTS puts Marufuchi down but a double kick to the head drops Fantasma and Kid to put all four on the mat. Since they haven’t gotten enough stuff in yet, Fantasma hits a dive onto Kid, leaving Garza to get in the stripping. He misses a moonsault to give Marufuchi two but Sliced Bread #2 finally puts Garza away at 9:20.

Rating: B-. Here’s the thing: this feels like they’re trying to channel the Monday Nitro cruiserweight formula and while the match was entertaining, it doesn’t quite work as well. There’s probably a half dozen promotions on YouTube offering either something similar or better and that keeps this from feeling as special. When you have people like Will Ospreay, Ricochet or others like them out there, this doesn’t quite measure up. It also didn’t help that it felt like they were just cramming stuff in for the sake of cramming stuff in, which made the match feel a bit longer than it should.

That being said, there’s FAR worse stuff they could be using this time for and the match was fun. It’s just not as awesome as I think GFW thinks it is. If nothing else, it would be nice to have them put some of these teams towards a title instead of just having them out there doing random flips and superkicks.

Kongo Kong vs. Grado/Joseph Park

Grado starts, looks at Kong, and hands it off to Park. Joseph hurts himself on a headbutt attempt but Kong misses a Cannonball. Some splashes in the corner have Kong in some trouble but he runs them over with clotheslines. The Cannonball puts Park away at 2:46. Remember a few years ago when Park was one of the most entertaining characters in wrestling because he got to show off how good he could be with comedy and let you see how much more he could do than Abyss? Well screw that because we need this fat, embarrassment to wrestling named Kongo Kong to get a monster push instead.

Post match Kong loads up a top rope splash to both of them but Laurel Van Ness comes down and slaps him. Kong loads her up for something but Tyrus of all people comes down for the save. Laurel and Kong bail.

Low Ki, Trevor Lee and Lashley are ready for a six man tag tonight. Low Ki speaks Spanish and rants about Alberto turning down an offer from Konnan.

Video on Trevor Lee stealing Sonjay Dutt’s X-Division Title and declaring himself the real champion. Lee says he never got his rematch and he has the belt so he’s the title’s rightful owner. They meet in a ladder match next week.

Jeff Jarrett talks about Lashley being a pro wrestler and an MMA fighter. The head of Lashley’s MMA gym wants him to pick MMA but he and Jarrett have agreed to work together.

Dutch Mantel sat down with Matt Sydal and Lashley to talk about their upcoming match. Lashley says he might be the #1 athlete in the world because he dominates two sports. Sydal says he’s the #3 X-Division athlete in the world, which Lashley laughs off because Sydal is just an X-Division guy. A fight nearly breaks out and security makes the save.

Tag Team Titles: LAX vs. Veterans of War

LAX is defending and this is a street fight. Before the match, Konnan brags about how awesome LAX is. The brawl is on in a hurry on the floor with some trashcan lid shots putting LAX in early trouble. Santana gets belly to belly suplexed onto the ramp and it’s already table time. The Veterans botch the MOAB through the table on Ortiz but Homicide pulls the referee out at two.

Back from a break with Mayweather handcuffed to the ropes and LAX stomping away. Wilcox cleans house with a Samoan drop but Ortiz sends him into a chair in the corner for two. Something like Poetry in Motion puts Wilcox through a table in the corner to retain the titles at 11:37.

Rating: C-. This was two different matches with the break changing everything. As usual, the tag division has one set of challengers at a time and since LAX is apparently the most amazing team EVER, the Veterans are easily dispatched. As usual, the numbers game dominates everyone, except for Alberto of course after he beat the whole team in about nine minutes a few weeks back.

Matt Sydal, Alberto El Patron and Sonjay Dutt are ready for the six man.

Super X Cup Semifinals: Taiji Ishimori vs. ACH

ACH headlocks him down to start but Ishimori spins away and grabs a headscissors to put ACH on the floor. Back from a break with Ishimori hitting a double stomp out of the corner for two. ACH gets in a hard clothesline but his back gives out on a suplex. Ishimori’s superkick is no sold so ACH hits a clothesline for two. Ishimori hits a gutbuster and a 450 for the pin at 10:28.

Rating: C. Yeah whatever. This is a great example of all the problems in this company in a nutshell: it’s a tournament for a prize that hasn’t been around in over ten years between people who have barely ever wrestled here. All we’ve seen are a few entertaining matches between the participants and the same promo from all of them.

That’s not enough to make this feel important and the tournament just keeps going with no reason for fans to care. That’s the promotion in one statement: these people are having watchable matches but there’s no reason to care about any of them. That’s really not good and it’s plagued this company for years.

Dezmond Xavier comes out to stare Ishimori down.

Recap of Low Ki joining LAX.

We run down the Destination X card.

Trevor Lee/Bobby Lashley/Low Ki vs. Sonjay Dutt/Alberto El Patron/Matt Sydal

Alberto goes after Low Ki to start and it’s quickly off to Dutt and Sydal for stereo standing moonsaults. Sydal stays in and kicks away at Lashley but gets taken down with a crossbody. Back from an early break with Sydal getting choked by Lashley and then chopped by Low Ki. Pope: “There’s something about Low Ki that makes you think HITMAN!”

Lee comes in to beat on Sydal too and Lashley adds a running shoulder in the corner. Matt gets out of an abdominal stretch but gets put in a dragon sleeper. Low Ki misses a charge into the corner though and it’s off to Dutt for a hurricanrana. A roll into a dropkick drops Lee but Lashley comes in for a Dominator to Dutt.

Sonjay finally gets in a tornado DDT to escape and the hot tag brings in Alberto, because he’s always the one who gets to do the big house cleaning segment. Alberto powerslams Low Ki and hits a suicide dive onto Lashley. Everything breaks down and Alberto hits everyone in the knees but Dutt springboards into a powerslam from Lashley. The Warrior’s Way ends Dutt at 17:48.

Rating: C-. Totally standard (and WAY too long) six man tag with Low Ki getting a push towards next week’s World Title match. Everything else was just filling time because, as usual, this company seems to have no idea how to use its time well. This felt like they were trying to stretch a match because that’s what a main event should be, even though it did very little to make me want to see the three matches next week.

Overall Rating: D. Sweet merciful goodness I’m glad this is over. GFW has gone from a watchable enough promotion to one of the most dull, lifeless places I’ve seen in years. There’s no reason to care about anything on this show and they cram in so much stuff that it feels like it’s about 19 hours long every week.

You know what would help this promotion a lot? Some promos. When is the last time you had someone in this company come out, talk for three to five minutes about what they’re doing and why the fans should care without being interrupted by either one of the three bosses (yes three bosses) or the person they’re feuding with to start a brawl? You’ll get one every now and then but more often than not it’s all rushed along because we need to get in some international tag match or an extra ten minutes on the main event or another tournament match in a tournament with no meaning or significance whatsoever.

There’s no connection to any of these people and it’s killing the shows. Why should I care if Grado can’t stay in the country? Or why should I want Alberto to overcome LAX? Or why should it matter which newcomer wins the Super X Cup? I have no idea, because none of these people are presented as anything more than people who come in, have a match, and then get off screen as fast as they can so we can move on to something else.

The commentary isn’t helping either. The three of them are really just there to do their individual thing. Pope is the guy who gets excited about moves, Josh is the self obsessed heel and Jeremy is the guy who plugs everything. Not once do you see them slow down for a second and add any emotion to anything. All those times when JR and King would have a camera on them talking about how important something was actually mattered. They gave you a connection to the stories and that makes a difference. I know more about Pop’s sitcoms than I do about why Alberto and Low Ki are fighting for the World Title next week.

I’m really hoping that this hyper focus on the X-Division changes after Destination X because it’s crippling the show. There were three different matches (out of five) involving the X-Division tonight and none of them felt like anything more than run of the mill X-Division stuff. Having the people come out and do the flips and such is fine, but it needs to be part of a package instead of the focal point of the show.

This show was a mess but it’s just a part of the bigger problem. The promotion seems to think that throwing as much stuff as possible at the fans is the way to go but don’t seem to understand that you need a reason to care about someone. Fans gravitated to Austin, Hogan, Cena, Bryan and any other top face you can think of because they either felt a connection to them or were sucked in by their personalities and charisma. GFW offers neither of those and it makes for really hard to sit through television a lot of the time, which is what happened tonight. Bad show, and it’s for one big reason.

Results

Hijo de Fantasma/Naomichi Marufuchi b. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. – Sliced Bread #2 to Garza

Kongo Kong b. Grado/Joseph Park – Cannonball to Park

LAX b. Veterans of War – Flip dive through a table

Taiji Ishimori b. ACH – 450

Trevor Lee/Bobby Lashley/Low Ki b. Sonjay Dutt/Alberto El Patron/Matt Sydal – Warrior’s Way to Dutt

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – July 6, 2017: Let’s Just Call It “The Company That’s Going To Screw Stuff Up”

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 6, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re back stateside and past Slammiversary which saw Alberto El Patron become the new Impact Wrestling World Champion. However, it’s also a new era as the company has rebranded as Global Force Wrestling. In theory the show is still called Impact Wrestling how in depth the changes go remains to be seen. Let’s get to it.

LAX is in the clubhouse and Konnan says they’re bringing the newest member tonight. It’s going to be Alberto isn’t it?

Recap of Slammiversary, making sure to get in that freaking owl.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Alberto with his brother and father to open things up with a celebration. Apparently his brother is going to be in the ring soon and we’ll get to see how talented this family really is. Alberto praises his father and talks about what it means to be World Champion. If anyone, even if they work for a different company, wants a shot, come get one. Cue Lashley to say the win meant nothing and to promise to build a wall around the family. Dos Caras slaps Lashley in the face but Alberto gets between them. The fight is scheduled for later.

Earlier today, Bruce Prichard yelled at the announcers, telling them to chill out and drop all the drama. Thanks for doing this THREE MONTHS AGO.

Two very large, muscular men known as the Swoll Mates, will be debuting in two weeks.

Caleb Konley vs. Sonjay Dutt

Non-title. Konley takes him into the corner and grabs an early cravate as they don’t seem to have much time. A bodyscissors into a rollup gives Konley two and he smacks Dutt in the jaw for good measure. Konley charges into a pendulum kick in the corner and it’s the tornado DDT to plant him hard. Dutt drops the top rope splash for the pin at 4:47.

Rating: D+. Just a match here with Dutt getting a win to further establish himself as champion. I’m also glad they didn’t make this a title match as Konley hasn’t won a match in the better part of ever and it wouldn’t make a lot of sense to have him get a title shot so soon. Now we need an opponent not named Low Ki to go after the title.

Post match Trevor Lee comes in and drops Dutt before running away with the title. Lee declares himself the new champion.

Grado is back with an American flag and flanked by the Veterans of War and Eddie Edwards. They want to celebrate the Fourth of July in an eight man tag tonight because they’re proud to be Americans. The four of them leave and a rather rotund man is doing Hindu squats.

Eli Drake/Chris Adonis/Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara vs. Veterans of War/Eddie Edwards/Grado

Adonis poses at the Swoll Mates on the way to the ring. Drake gets taken into the corner and thrown around by the Veterans of War. Adonis can’t do much with Mayweather so here’s Grado to get beaten into the corner. It’s off to Eddie to kick Bahh off the apron but Mario escapes the Backpack Stunner. Everything breaks down and Grado elbows Bahh out to the floor. The MOAB drops Drake and there’s the middle rope Codebreaker to Adonis. A quick Boston Knee Party ends Adonis at 4:36.

Rating: C-. So that happened. This felt like a way to get as many people into a match as possible in a match with little interest or drama. Eddie getting the win makes sense but I really could have gone for Drake getting put into a feud instead of just toiling in the midcard even more. Use that guy’s talents instead of just letting him flounder.

Post match here’s Joseph Park to give Grado a letter, which really upsets him. Grado leaves with park and isn’t happy.

Braxton Sutter vs. Matt Sydal

Josh says Allie looks like an Easter Bunny and Braxton dresses like that guy from the 90s with three H’s in his name. Super Heavyweight Hardcore Holly? Sutter chops him into the corner and fires off some knees. Something like a reverse Fameasser drops Sutter, followed by a kick to the head. Sydal drops the shooting star press for the pin at 3:17.

Rating: D+. Speaking of wasted talents, the fall (from not that high in the first place) of Sutter and Allie continues. What in the world is the point in having them lose this often when we’re just a few months removed from one of the company’s best moments in years? At least Sydal’s push seems solid enough though and that’s a good thing.

Sutter is frustrated after the loss and doesn’t want Allie around him.

LAX doesn’t say anything new.

JB is in the ring for the announcement of the Super X Cup, an eight person X Division tournament for a big trophy. The eight participants come out and we get the first round matches:

Sammy Guevara

Drago

ACH

Andrew Everett

Taiji Ishimori

Davey Richards

Dezmond Xavier

Idris Abraham

Video on Abraham.

Video on Xavier.

Super X Cup First Round: Idris Abraham vs. Dezmond Xavier

Feeling out process to start with Xavier grabbing a headlock. Xavier starts flipping around until a running boot to the ribs cuts him off. Back from a break with Abraham still in control but a quick cutter takes him down. Xavier sends him face first into the turnbuckle and Abraham is stunned.

Back up and a deadlift German suplex drops Abraham but he kicks Desmond in the head. Not that it really matters as Xavier gets in a kick to the head of his own and Abraham is stunned even more. In a flash back to days of X-Division old, Spiral Tap puts Abraham away at 11:15.

Rating: C+. Fun match here between two guys we haven’t seen around too often. Xavier was entertaining and it was nice to have someone fresh out there. The division is DYING for more talent and these two could be a decent place to start. Do more of this and give them some more time for a change.

Gail Kim has an announcement next week.

Video on Naomichi Marufuji.

Xavier says that finisher was the Final Flash. You’ll see it again. For some reason the interviewer sounded like he was shouting from a long way off.

Moose is ready to defend against Marufuji next week but Ethan Carter III comes in to say he deserves a shot. Moose tells him to go to the back of the line.

Rebel vs. Sienna

Non-title. Sienna throws her against the ropes to start and starts in with some hard kicks to the head. A charge misses in the corner but Sienna easily counters a handspring elbow into a German suplex. Sienna gets two off a Samoan drop but Rebel knocks her into the corner for some running knees and elbows. The handspring splash staggers Sienna but Rebel dives onto KM. Back in and Sienna rolls her into the guillotine choke for the tap at 3:16.

Rating: D. Rebel may be rather fetching at times but she’s not all that great in the ring. To be fair though this was only designed to be a squash so there’s not much to get out of it. Sienna needs challengers and odds are that’s going to be Gail before her retirement later in the year. Not a good match with time working against it.

The announcers run down next week’s card.

GFW/Impact Wrestling World Title Alberto El Patron vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is challenging and strikes away to start, knocking Alberto outside in the process. The champ gets sent into the steps and another hard whip sends him into the steps. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Alberto is backdropped to the floor, nearly hitting the post as we take a break.

Back with Alberto fighting out of another chinlock and firing off the kicks to the legs and a shot to the head. A big powerbomb plants the champ for two and Lashley is already starting to get frustrated. There’s the Codebreaker to the arm but Lashley cuts him off with a spinebuster.

Alberto kicks him in the face though and gets two off a middle rope double stomp to the back. Lashley shrugs it off and sends the champ into the corner for a double stomp of his own, followed by the spear for no cover. Instead it’s the Dominator but Lashley still won’t cover. Not that it matters as LAX comes in to go after Lashley for the DQ at 15:03.

Rating: B-. This was as good as it was going to get though I’m not sure on having the new champ get beaten down this much. Also, Lashley needs to wrap up this feud and go on to do anything else for awhile. He’s been in the title picture for too long and they need to bring in some fresh blood for a change.

Konnan says Alberto is the newest member of the team, though he’s out of it and doesn’t acknowledge the announcement. They hold up his arm to end the show. Alberto didn’t agree or pose with them or anything that would make this official.

Overall Rating: C-. If this was supposed to be the big new beginning, it really didn’t come off as such. This felt like any given episode of the show with the GFW name barely being mentioned. Then again I’m not entirely sure even they know what the company is called at this point so you take what you can get.

The wrestling was hit and miss and the big angle at the end didn’t do much for me, though at least it feels new. The X-Division getting more attention is nice, but it doesn’t matter if it goes as it has so many times in the past (starts hot, fizzles in a hurry). It’s not a bad show but they already seem to have lost the momentum and good energy that they had from the pay per view, which might be a record even for them.

Results

Sonjay Dutt b. Caleb Konley – Top rope splash

Eddie Edwards/Grado/Veterans of War b. Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara/Chris Adonis/Eli Drake – Boston Knee Party to Adonis

Matt Sydal b. Braxton Sutter – Shooting Star Press

Dezmond Xavier b. Idris Abraham – Final Flash

Sienna b. Rebel – Guillotine choke

Lashley b. Alberto El Patron via DQ when LAX interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – June 22, 2017: They’re Building to Slammiversary….But They’re Building to Slammiversary

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 22, 2017
Location: Film Studio 7, Mumbai, India
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s week three in India and one of the last two shows before Slammiversary. Nothing major has been announced for this week but you can almost guarantee some more build towards the World Title match, along with the epic saga of the battling announcers. This likely means more comedy from Joseph Park, who is trying his hardest to make this half joke/half possibly biggest match of the show work. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Sonjay Dutt’s X-Division Title win last week. Dutt is very emotional and seems so happy to have won in front of his countrymen.

Sienna tells Laurel Van Ness to focus on Allie tonight because it’s their chance for revenge.

Opening sequence.

Sony Six X-Division Invitational: Trevor Lee vs. Davey Richards vs. Suicide vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Matt Sydal

Elimination rules for another trophy. Eddie and Davey go straight to the floor and the other four brawl, leaving the announcers to threaten each other (Josh: “They’ll delete your Twitter!” JB: “I’m worried about Steiner!”). Sydal and Suicide are left alone in the ring as there’s so much going on at once. Suicide does his backwards fall onto most of his opponents and we take a break.

Back with Sutter hitting a neckbreaker on Suicide but Lee rolls him up with a handful of tights for the elimination (Can we PLEASE find something for Sutter? He was white hot just two months ago and now he’s any given X guy.). Eddie comes in and is knocked outside in a hurry, leaving Davey to kick Suicide in the head.

The top rope double stomp misses but Lee hits the standing double stomp to get rid of Suicide, leaving us with four. All four get back inside with Davey sending Eddie into a chair wedged in the corner, which is good for a DQ. Davey loads up some chairs on the floor but gets caught in a fisherman’s buster through an open chair.

That’s a DQ on Edwards (For beating up someone no longer in the match?) and we’re down to two as we take another break. Back with Sydal hitting a standing moonsault for two, followed by a standing hurricanrana for the same. Trevor hits a Superman Forearm but gets dropped again, setting up the shooting star to give Sydal the pin at 19:02.

Rating: C. Well at least it wasn’t thirty minutes long. This was every multi-man X-Division match you’ve seen for a long time: a bunch of spots, little flow, no real elevation for the winner. The match was perfectly fine as a way to fill in time but it’s not like this is anything important or anything we haven’t seen multiple times before.

Sydal receives a trophy.

Josh brags about his MMA skills.

Spud was on the street earlier today when he ran into Swoggle. A fight nearly broke out but Spud wanted a woman to film it, only to have her steal his phone. Another small guy breaks it up, leaving Spud and Swoggle confused.

Allie is panicking because Rosemary isn’t here.

Joseph Park is worried about the Slammiversary match and even frozen pizza doesn’t make him feel better. JB goes into an Animal House style speech to inspire him and things seem better. We even get a Mega Powers handshake.

Sienna/Laurel Van Ness vs. Rosemary/Allie

There’s no Rosemary to start but here she is from underneath the ring. Allie and Sienna get things going with Allie sending her into the corner. Hang on a second though as here’s KM with a kendo stick for a distraction. Braxton Sutter comes out for the save but Laurel suplexes Rosemary, allowing Sienna to hit a curb stomp for the pin at 1:48.

Dutt had a parade with the X-Division Title.

Clip of LAX going to an indy promotion to beat people up and take their money.

Mahabali Shera is in the ring when Dutt comes out for a full on Indian celebration of his title win. Dutt thanks the crowd and talks about how awesome it is to be champion. This brings out Low Ki, who calls Dutt’s title win luck. He wants a rematch so Dutt agrees to the match at Slammiversary but we’ll make it 2/3 falls. Dutt offers a handshake but gets punched in the ribs. Shera gets beaten down as well and takes a Warrior’s Way until Sydal comes out for the save.

KM vs. Mahabali Shera

Shera has heavily taped ribs and has to shove the doctors away to get to the ring. KM sends him into the steps before the bell as Josh is already talking about his sparring session last week. Shera can’t get him up for a fireman’s carry but KM misses a slingshot splash. The Sky High ends KM at 1:36.

Kongo Kong comes out to destroy Shera, including a top rope splash on the bad ribs.

JB and Park get serious about training, complete with a short montage.

Here are Eli Drake and Chris Adonis to find out who Moose’s partner at Slammiversary will be. They don’t think he has any friends so get out here and make the announcement. Moose comes out and makes the most obvious announcement ever: his partner is DeAngelo Williams. As in the football player who was announced as having a match at Slammiversary and was brought in by Moose. But people say WWE treats its fans like idiots. Moose gets beaten down and hit with the Grand Championship.

Josh threatens JB some more.

E Singh 3/Lashley vs. James Storm/Alberto El Patron

The fans chant for Singh, who tells Lashley that he’ll be starting. Naturally this means tagging in Lashley to face Storm instead. James takes over with a running clothesline in the corner, followed by some standing ones for a bonus. It’s off to Alberto, in a shirt, vs. Singh but Storm takes out both villains with a dive as we take a break.

Back with El Patron in trouble until he gets over to Storm for the hot tag. A Sling Blade drops Lashley but a cheap shot knocks Storm out to the floor. Lashley hits a delayed vertical suplex and chokes Storm on the ropes as the announcers hype Spud vs. Swoggle in a street fight next week. There’s a powerslam for two on James and more choking keeps him in trouble.

Storm finally breaks free and brings in Alberto for the showdown with Lashley. A Backstabber gives Alberto two but Lashley is right back with a double powerbomb out of the corner. Two straight superkicks have Lashley in trouble and there’s the cross armbreaker. That’s enough for Carter, who grabs the strap and whips the referee for the DQ at 18:09.

Rating: C-. Impact has done a good job building up Alberto vs. Lashley but I don’t feel the slightest bit of energy or heat between them when they’re in the ring. There’s nothing personal between them and the GFW Title aspect hasn’t added anything to the match. It’s just two wrestlers having a title match and that’s not the most interesting thing in the world. I’m sure the match will be good but I need more reason to care.

Alberto cleans house and poses with both titles to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Well, they built to Slammiversary…..but they built to Slammiversary. The show is looking like another weak effort as so much of the final TV taping cycle has been built around the live Indian crowd, meaning Impact has even time to devote to the pay per view. It wasn’t a horrible show at all and was entertaining at times but everything felt rushed, which is so often the case around here.

Results

Matt Sydal b. Trevor Lee, Braxton Sutter, Eddie Edwards, Davey Richards and Suicide last eliminating Lee

Sienna/Laurel Van Ness b. Rosemary/Allie – Curb stomp to Rosemary

Mahabali Shera b. KM – Sky High

Alberto El Patron/James Storm b. Lashley/E Singh 3 via DQ when Singh used the strap

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – June 15, 2017: One of the Worst Shows They’ve Ever Had

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 15, 2017
Location: Film Studio 7, Mumbai, India
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

We’re still in India and tonight’s main event is a special treat for the live crowd. This week will see Sonjay Dutt challenging Low Ki for the X-Division Title in an effort to shake away his moniker of the best X-Division wrestler to never win the title. Other than that the build to Slammiversary continues with less than three weeks to go. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Dutt vs. Low Ki with both guys taking their own path to get here. Low Ki doesn’t seem to mind where they are.

Sony Six Invitational Gauntlet

This is a ten man Royal Rumble with ninety second intervals and when there are two remaining, it’s a regular one on one match. The winner gets…..a trophy! Suicide is in at #1 and Matt Sydal is in at #2 as we hear about Josh Matthews having his first match in fifteen years tonight.

Sydal headscissors him into the ropes but Suicide is right back in to headbutt Matt down. A standoff goes nowhere and it’s Davey Richards in at #3. Davey takes Sydal down by the leg as we hear about Josh needing to get another Twitter account due to having too many followers. KM is in at #4 and there’s not much going on just a few minutes in. Suicide hangs in the ropes and low bridges KM to the apron. Swoggle is in at #5 as Davey dropkicks Suicide out. KM and Davey no sell some chops and KM shoves Swoggle down.

Eddie Edwards is in at #6 and is eliminated along with Davey in about ten seconds. Back from a break with Rockstar Spud having entered as #7 and getting beaten down by Swoggle. There are four people in the ring and no eliminations during the break so the clock is already way off. Spud drops Sydal and throws Swoggle into the corner, as the announcers try to make Spud into the heel in this whole thing. You know, the guy who was ASSAULTED WITH A HAMMER!

Kongo Kong is in at #8 and eliminated Sydal without too much effort. Spud is tossed as well and Moose is in at #9. Spud isn’t done though and helps get rid of Swoggle with the announcers saying we’re guaranteed to continue this feud. Moose lasts all of fifteen seconds but Mahabali Shera is in at #10 and his dad is in the front row.

Kong charges at Shera and gets low bridged out so the referee comes in for the regular match as we take a second break. Back again with KM stomping away in the corner as Davey/Angelina Love vs. Eddie Edwards/Alisha in Full Metal Mayhem at Slammiversary. KM gets two off a slingshot splash but Shera grabs an AA for a breather. The Sky High is enough to give Shera the pin at 24:56.

Rating: D-. This was nothing but filler and they weren’t even trying to hide it. If you want Shera to win in front of his home country that’s cool, but couldn’t you have him come in a bit earlier for the sake of some work and some drama? I have a bad feeling this is going to be the extent of what happens with the trophy and if they spent a fourth of a show on this one match….egads. On top of that the match was really boring with Spud vs. Swoggle as possibly the featured attraction before the ending.

Shera celebrates with his family and here are some Sony Six executives to present the trophy. Shera holds the trophy and looks close to crying.

Video on Dutt not being able to win the X-Division Title. Now he’s home and ready to fulfill his dream.

DeAngelo Williams (NFL free agent) will be in the ring at Slammiversary. We see a bit of his in-ring training in Canada.

We see Joseph Park and JB heading to a Kung Fu studio to train. It turns out that Park gets confused and they wind up at a Chinese food buffet with good kung pow chicken.

LAX is going to be in other promotions to make statements since they’re not allowed in India. So they’re taking the Hardys’ gimmick.

Here’s E-Singh-3 with a man in a suit. He talks about his family lineage dating back to his seventh great grandfather being a full blooded Indian. The main in the suit translates with Ethan talking about how he’s one of the people here. Ethan is here to destroy Indian culture and rips on the people even more but the translator won’t say it. Carter beats him up and whips him with a belt until James Storm comes in for the save.

Spud and Swoggle got in an argument at catering earlier today. This results in Spud being sent face first into his food and a chase. As I say every week, this isn’t funny and I can’t imagine a lot of people are interested.

Here’s Josh Matthews, looking like he weighs 114 pounds soaking wet with two bricks in his pocket, for a sparring session. Josh explains the tag match (in case you haven’t heard the concept in the last two and a half months) and hypes up his opponent as an Olympic wrestler, a Bollywood star and a cricket champion.

Josh Matthews vs. Sandik DeKhan

DeKhan is a rather rotund guy who is barely taller than the top rope. Josh armdrags him down but eats a dropkick. That earns Sandik a knee lift and Swanton Bomb (not bad actually), followed by a Steiner Recliner for the submission at 2:25.

Shera comes out post match for no apparent reason but Lashley runs in for the save. Why? Josh gets in another Recliner, which really shouldn’t hurt. Alberto El Patron runs in for the real save. That was one of the most illogical segments this company has run in a long time.

JB and Park train with action figures with Magnus taking JB’s place because he doesn’t have an action figure. They do however study Steiner’s math promo. Park: “How did this guy ever get over? His promos suck.” A highlight reel scares them but Park is ready to face their fears. Steiner calls them though and both guys panic.

Trevor Lee vs. Braxton Sutter

Lee jumps him from behind and Sutter is knocked to the floor in a heap. Back in and a deadlift German suplex gives Trevor two but he stops to yell at Allie. Back in and Sutter gets in a powerslam, followed by the fisherman’s neckbreaker for the pin at 2:08.

Post match Sienna and Laurel Van Ness come out to challenge Allie and Rosemary to a tag match next week.

Low Ki has hurt Dutt before and he’ll do it again.

The roster is ready for Slammiversary.

Here’s Moose for a chat but Eli Drake and Christopher Adonis come out to interrupt in a hurry. Drake calls everyone dummies and claims to have been ripped off in their title match. Moose wants to fight them both at Slammiversary but the double beatdown is on now. Not that it matters as Moose clears the ring without too much effort. Moose promises to deliver a partner next week. You know, because it’s so hard to figure out.

JB and Park answer Steiner’s call so he can yell a lot. I can barely understand him because it’s over a phone but corn on the cob is mentioned. JB offers to call the match off but Steiner threatens violence. Park and JB run off instead, leaving Steiner to yell even more.

X-Division Title: Sonjay Dutt vs. Low Ki

Dutt is challenging and still has his eyepatch on. A hard body shot puts Dutt down because he couldn’t see it coming thanks to the bad eye. The patch is pulled off and Dutt snaps off a hurricanrana into an armdrag. A dropkick sends Dutt to the floor and they fight into the crowd where Dutt has to escape a Ki Crusher.

Sonjay mostly misses a moonsault off the barricade but what looked to be Sliced Bread #2 is countered with a drop onto the steps. Back from a break with Low Ki stomping away and grabbing something like an abdominal stretch/Octopus Hold hybrid. Dutt fights out and Low Ki takes off the jacket, earning himself a great looking superplex.

Low Ki breaks up a sunset flip and snaps off a standing double stomp for two. A tornado DDT drops the champ (who has a bloody eye) and a top rope splash gives Dutt the title at 16:28. The commentary was rather horrible there as they barely reacted to either the setup or the title change.

Rating: B. Well that was sudden. There wasn’t exactly much of a build to the finish but at least they went with exactly what they should have done. This was the biggest layup of the entire taping cycle and they did exactly what they should have done without trying for some kind of a screwy finish.

Some wrestlers come out to celebrate with Dutt, including Shera putting him on his shoulders to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Before I get into this, let me make it clear that the main event was a completely separate part of the show and isn’t included in the following criticisms. That last match was exactly what it should have been and aside from a pretty weak ending, I had no complains about it.

As for the rest of the show though, it was nothing short of a disaster and one of the worst things this company has ever done (and consider all that covers). The opener was long and awful, the second match was there to further one of the worst angles I can remember in a long time and the third match was barely anything. Couple that with not very funny “training” segments for a ring announcer and a comedy character plus the excruciatingly not funny Swoggle vs. Spud feud and this was one of the most awful shows I’ve ever seen them do.

The World Title feud has taken a huge backseat to the “comedy” angles (though I think the announcers’ feud is supposed to be at least somewhat serious), mainly because they barely have a reason to be fighting. Yeah they have that one match two and a half months ago but neither Alberto nor Lashley have the character depth to pull off something very interesting. They’re both skilled performers and perfectly acceptable from bell to bell but their characters are basically confined to “I’m a good wrestler”. When you barely have a single segment in the ring per week, there’s not much you can do to build a match.

The problem here boils down to the writing not being very good. I know they’ve had Dixie to blame over the years but we’re two and a half months into the new leadership team and it’s some of the weakest TV I can remember them doing in a very long time. There’s basically no midcard out of Moose vs. Eli Drake (a feud which is coming up on a celebrity tag match instead of fighting for Moose’s title) and the Tag Team Champions (who have two titles each) aren’t even on TV at the moment due to whatever reason.

Instead we’re getting a focus on Spud vs. Swoggle over seeing Swoggle’s underwear while the top feud is battling announcers plus a lawyer and a crazy man who arguably hit his in-ring peak 26 years ago. That’s the new Impact Wrestling and if this is what they’re setting up for Slammiversary, Bound For Glory might be the scariest thing I’ve ever seen.

Results

Mahabali Shera won the Sony Six Invitational Gauntlet

Josh Matthews b. Sandik DeKhan – Steiner Recliner

Braxton Sutter b. Trevor Lee – Fisherman’s neckbreaker

Sonjay Dutt b. Low Ki – Top rope splash

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – June 8, 2017: Some Things Really Are the Same Everywhere

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 8, 2017
Location: Film Studio 7, Mumbai, India
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

This is a special show as it’s the first of four episodes to be held in Mumbai, India. We’re less than a month away from Slammiversary and now the main event seems to be set in stone as GFW World Champion Alberto El Patron will face Impact Wrestling World Champion Lashley in what is likely a winner take all match. Let’s get to it.

We’re in India for perhaps the biggest Impacts ever so LET’S HAVE THE FIGHTING ANNOUNCERS! Bruce Prichard says there’s no physical altercations before Slammiversary or they’re both fired, no matter who starts it. You have all these titles and all these stars and big names and you pick THIS to start things off? Honestly, if this is what they have for their biggest or second biggest story, this company is more delusional than I thought.

The opening video takes a long look at traveling to India and how important this is. I mean, it’s not as important as Borash vs. Matthews but it’s certainly important.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Alberto El Patron to open things up. He talks about all the titles he’s won around the world but there’s one left for him to win. At Slammiversary (which he can’t pronounce), he’ll be the undisputed Impact Wrestling Heavyweight Champion. Cue Lashley to say that’s not happening because he’s unlike anything Alberto has ever faced. Tensions are teased but here’s Bruce Prichard again to cut them off. He thinks they should both defend their titles right here tonight with the Slammiversary spots on the line. They don’t find out their opponents until the matches start.

Bruce Prichard ignores a tag team called the Mumbai Cats.

X-Division Title: Caleb Konley vs. Low Ki

Low Ki is defending and wearing the suit again. They take turns driving each other into the corner with Ki getting the better of it off some kicks. A legsweep sets up a backsplash for two on the champ as the fans are VERY noisy here, in a good way. More kicks stagger Konley but he manages to send Ki outside for a suicide dive. Back in and Low Ki hits a running dropkick to knock Konley into the corner, followed by a Warrior’s Way to the back for the pin at 6:35. Low Ki is bleeding a bit from the eye.

Rating: D+. I’m still not a fan of Low Ki and the all kick/feet offense gets annoying in a hurry. The match itself was nothing special and it was clear that we’re just waiting on Sonjay Dutt to come out for the big grandstand challenge. That’s the logical move to make so this was really just a way to get us closer to that match.

Post match, here’s Sonjay to speak some of the native language and say how ironic it is for Low Ki’s eye to be busted open. He wants a title shot and remembers fighting Low Ki in the Elk Lodge in New York City fifteen years ago. Now there’s no Hit Squad behind Low Ki but Dutt has 1.4 billion people behind him. The match seems to be set.

Video on Rockstar Spud vs. Swoggle.

Davey Richards vs. Vikus Kumar

There’s no Angelina Love so Davey is even angrier than usual. The kicks start in again with Davey driving him into the corner and then sending Kumar to the floor. A dive misses but Kumar misses a moonsault, setting up the ankle lock to make Kumar tap at 2:44.

Post match here’s Ethan Carter III to whip Kumar with his belt. James Storm makes the save.

Prichard (third appearance in about 40 minutes) is in the back with Eli Drake, who thinks Bruce cost him the Grand Championship last week. Chris Adonis comes up and says the two of them deserve the World Title shot tonight. Bruce will consider it, so we’ll be seeing him again later.

Video on the TNA Hall of Fame.

Josh promises a sparring session next week.

Swoggle chases Spud down the aisle and into the crowd.

Video on Mahabali Shera, who gets to come home to his country. We see him with a crowd doing the Shera Shake. I mean, none of the fans are doing it but maybe they can’t remember if it’s the Shera Shake or the Shera Shuffle. To be fair, the announcers couldn’t remember either.

Joseph Park comes to see Jeremy Borash at his office to train. Park says fighting is in his family’s blood. One day his grandfather Jebediah Park took on George Hackenschmidt in a bare knuckles fight. Park: “And he almost beat him!” They’re off to train.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Lashley vs. ???

Lashley is defending against…..Moose. They trade shoulders to start until Moose runs the ropes for a spinning crossbody and two. It’s way too early for the spear though and Moose nails a bicycle kick. That’s fine with Lashley as he muscles Moose over and out to the floor. They head outside with Lashley sending Moose into the barricade.

Lashley’s chinlock doesn’t last long and Moose comes back with chops, followed by a dropkick to knock the champ off the top. Back from a break with Moose getting two off a running dropkick. Moose hits his own spear with Josh freaking out at the near fall. I’m not sure why he’d be so worried about the pay per view main event changing as it’s been done three or four times now.

Lashley is right back up with a superplex but the spear is countered with a big boot. They’re trading big shots here and it’s making for a pretty entertaining slugfest. The sitout chokeslam gives Moose two more but the Game Changer misses. Lashley spears him down to retain at 16:30.

Rating: B-. Good power match here but Lashley continues to be little more than a dragon who holds a title. Then again, Alberto is hardly that much better of an option and with Lashley having held the title for so long, you can only get so interested in either of their matches. Moose losing isn’t the worst thing in the world as he lost to someone higher up on the ladder so it’s hardly devastating.

LAX celebrates having both sets of Tag Team Titles.

Video of Spud traveling to India.

Knockouts Title: Laurel Van Ness vs. Rosemary

Laurel, still in the wedding dress, is challenging and has Sienna in her corner. Sienna starts fast and sends Rosemary into the post so Laurel can stomp away. Rosemary pops up and stares at Sienna, causing a collision on the apron. A rollup retains the title at 1:59.

Post match Allie runs in with a kendo stick (because Allie is Bayley, but “WWE IS ALWAYS RIPPING TNA OFF!!!” – TNA fans.) for the save.

KM asks Bruce (hey there he is again) for the title shot and does his “you’re lying” schtick.

JB and Park train. It’s funny you see. JB: “We’re screwed. We’re dead.” Park wants to teach JB how to be an X-Division wrestler by diving into a pool. Park: “Pretend that water is Josh Matthews!”

Global Force Wrestling Title: Alberto El Patron vs. Chris Adonis

Adonis is challenging and has Eli Drake in his corner. Drake offers an early distraction and Adonis sends him outside as they brawl into the crowd. That goes nowhere, though to be fair we couldn’t see anything while they were walking so for all I know, it was a Scrabble tournament. Back to ringside with Patron, who is wrestling in a shirt for some reason, getting caught in the Adonis Lock while in the ropes.

We take a break and come back with Adonis still working on the back with a cannonball and camel clutch. Alberto fights back again with some clotheslines but walks into a spinebuster for a delayed two. To be fair the guy barely ever wrestles anymore so asking him to remember to cover is probably a big request. Since he hasn’t learned anything, Adonis puts Alberto on top and gets pulled down into the armbreaker over the ropes. Alberto gets in a few more kicks and the top rope double stomp retains at 12:48.

Rating: C-. They had a match, Adonis used power, Alberto kicked and worked the arm and then the champion retained. If you really want to do something exciting for the main event of your first TV show in India, I really don’t know why you would pick Adonis for this spot but why would you do something that makes sense when you devote that much time to Bruce Prichard segments and Spud vs. Swoggle?

Drake and Adonis beat El Patron down with Lashley watching from the ramp. Moose runs in for the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This episode really illustrated a lot of the problems that the company has and the majority of them are with their storytelling. This week’s episode focused on Swoggle vs. Spud, the battling World Champions who have half a personality between the two of them and the stupid announcers, who have been fighting for the better part of three months now. That really does feel like the top story in the promotion right now and if they think that’s going to be the thing that sparks interest among the masses or even casual fans, they’re in for what shouldn’t be a big surprise.

On top of that, we had a World Title match on the grand stage of an international TV taping and CHRIS MASTERS is in the main event. He never did anything significant in WWE and now he’s main eventing here, despite not really doing anything other than showing up. I have no idea why we’re stuck sitting through these guys but at least there’s some hope. Dutt vs. Low Ki will be a huge upgrade next week though so it’s hardly like they have no hope on the horizon.

Results

Low Ki b. Caleb Konley – Warrior’s Way

Davey Richards b. Vikus Kumar – Ankle lock

Lashley b. Moose – Spear

Rosemary b. Laurel Van Ness – Rollup

Alberto El Patron b. Chris Adonis – Double stomp

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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