After a trip to England it’s back to America with one of the hardest hitting guys you’ll ever find in a wrestling ring: Hulk Hogan’s cousin (by marriage I believe), Mike Awesome.

We’ll start with one of ECW’s most famous shows: The Night The Line Was Crossed. Awesome was a newcomer at this point and this was his highest profile match to date. From February of 1994.

JT Smith vs. Mike Awesome

This would be a squash in the regular ECW. Here it’s going to be a squash but with a different ending. If you want to see an example of why Awesome is so beloved, watch this match as he’s INSANE but great. He never lets up at all and hits a great over the top rope dive to nearly kill Smith. And then the hometown boy rolls him up for a pin in his only offense all night. Referee gets beaten up anyway. He goes for the splash and breaks the freaking ring ropes.

Rating: N/A. Total squash for Awesome and he lost anyway. He would go to Japan soon after and other than one other time in 94, wouldn’t be seen in ECW until 97. He would wrestle five times there and then would go winless in 1998. FINALLY in 1999 Heyman realized he had something amazing and made him world champion.

Awesome would head to Japan for several years in a hardcore promotion that I don’t consider wrestling, so we’ll skip ahead to the late 1990s when Awesome returned to ECW after a year long knee injury. He reignited his feud with Masato Tanaka, who happened to have a title match at Anarchy Rulz 1999 when things changed a bit.

ECW World Title: Masato Tanaka vs. Taz

No intro or anything. Joey just says it’s time for our world title match. The fans throw a TON of stuff into the ring because of Taz. He sold out apparently. No. Heyman screwed up the booking of him because no one cared about him as a face after he whined for a year and Shane Douglas wouldn’t drop the title like he should have. I still say that had as much to do with killing ECW as anything did.

That and not putting the belt on RVD about 5 months before this. Mike Awesome is in the crowd and Taz says send him in there too. Heyman comes out and holds Awesome back. I love how the fans go from YOU SOLD OUT to yelling his catchphrase with him inside of a minute. Remember that officially Taz hasn’t been announced as leaving yet but it’s the worst kept secret in wrestling. Heyman makes it a threeway.

So yeah add Mike Awesome to the title because I’m lazy. Oh and Awesome is in wrestling gear in the crowd. I’m shocked too. They double team him and that doesn’t work at all. Tanaka takes an Awesome Bomb. And then the Roaring Elbow and Awesome Splash puts Taz out in about two minutes. There you go then.

The locker room empties so that everyone can say goodbye to Taz. Yeah this was a total secret right? Awesome hits a sweet Tope (Taker Dive) to the floor to take Tanaka down. This is your standard solid match with these two. Naturally chairs and tables are brought into play but you have to expect that in ECW. Tanaka hits a Tornado DDT on a chair for two.

And Tanaka gets powerbombed over the top to the floor through a table. Top rope splash follows that for two. Ok then. Tanaka no sells three LOUD chair shots and this Diamond Dust which is an awesome move. It’s table time again with Awesome in control again. Awesome hits a top rope powerbomb for the pin. Yeah that works but a chair shot to the head from the top doesn’t? Taz hands him the belt after the match. The roster says goodbye to Taz as no one cares about Axl Rotten. The fans loving Taz now is kind of stupid. Taz tells them to chant for Awesome. Nice touch there.

Rating: B. Usual good stuff here from these two, but at times the no selling gets annoying. Still though, this was a shock to some people and it was a nice touch throwing Awesome in there as people knew Taz was losing, so here we didn’t know who was leaving with the belt. This was good.

Awesome and Tanaka would trade the title over Christmas of 1999 with Awesome coming out with the belt. He would defend that title against the giant killer Spike Dudley at Guilty As Charged 2000 in January.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. Spike Dudley

This should be going on in the spot of the TV Title match and the TV Title match should come on last. Spike has lost a lot of that ANGER from an hour and a half ago. He starts setting up tables before Mike is even here. Oh well we get to listen to some more AC/DC so I can’t complain. He sets up FIVE tables including two on top of each other before getting into the ring with a microphone.

He talks about how he makes his living getting put through tables. Ok thanks for admitting you’re a glorified jobber getting a title shot at a PPV. Why was Awesome managed by a “judge?” That never made much sense to me but whatever. Spike goes through a table less than 15 seconds in. Ok then let’s go home now as this is rather pointless. There go two more.

We’re MAYBE a minute and a half in and Spike has done nothing at all other than a few punches. Them calling the split screen replay Double Vision is funny. Spike is in the crowd and Awesome dives over the railing to knock him back down. Joey wants the match stopped but then cheers when he kicks out of a splash. Is this supposed to make sense? Oh that’s right it’s Spike Dudley in the main event of a PPV.

Of course it’s not supposed to make sense. Awesome Bomb is blocked and Spike jumps at Awesome and hits something close to an Acid Drop on the guard rail. Spike might have hurt his leg. Wow I wonder how he could have done that. Spike hits a hurricanrana which Awesome (rightfully) no sells and then kills Spike with a clothesline for two.

Spike hits the one move that I’ve never been able to understand how it can be done safely: a double stomp from the top rope. In an INSANE spot, Spike gets on the top rope and hits a springboard clothesline from the ring to the front row. That was impressive and Joey/Cyrus make fun of Hogan for doing such limited stuff. That’s rather amusing as Awesome is actually Hogan’s nephew or something close to that.

Spike hits an Acid Drop from the apron to the floor through a table and chokes Awesome out with a cord to take over. Joey shouting AWESOME IS DEAD over and over after a big chair shot is rather creepy. Spike is thrown through a table and is more or less out cold. Spike then further proves his idiocy by going up when Awesome is on the top rope in front of a table. Of course he goes through it for the pin. He deserved that for general stupidity.

Rating: D-. The problem here is simple: the credibility just wasn’t there at all. Spike is still his size and Awesome is his size. That’s why this didn’t work very well. We get it: Spike can do moves to big guys, but chair shots and a Diamond Cutter from the ropes isn’t enough to make this believable. They tried….kind of, but this just didn’t work that well at all.

Awesome would keep the title for a few more months before showing up on Nitro. This wasn’t out of the ordinary for the time, but it was out of the ordinary when the person was still under contract with ECW, still ECW Champion and had the ECW Title with him. This led to a big lawsuit with ECW making money, WWF wrestler Taz winning the ECW Title at an ECW show from a WCW wrestler, and Awesome joining WCW full time. His first good match was at Slamboree 2000 against Kanyon.

Mike Awesome vs. Kanyon

This is serious Awesome and not the 70s Guy yet. Awesome put Kanyon through a table to set this up. The fans are all distracted by something else to start so Awesome hits a HUGE dive to the floor, drawing an ECW chant. Kanyon sends him into the post as there’s more energy in this match than the rest of the show combined up to this point. Kanyon hits a running front flip dive off the apron to put Awesome down.

Back in and Awesome hits a top rope clothesline for two. Back to the floor and Mike fires off some chair shots to put Chris down. Yes I’m on first name basis with the two dead guys. They fight into the crowd and Awesome keeps the advantage. Back in and we debate the best powerbomb in wrestling with Nash being declared the best. Back to the floor again for about the fourth time and Kanyon gets hit with a chair again. They were using “relaxed rules” at this point which meant they were trying to rip off ECW and the WWF formula in every match instead of just the main events like WWF did.

Kanyon crotches Mike on the top and hits a reverse neckbreaker for two. Another neckbreaker gets two. The fans are getting into this quickly. Samoan Drop into a front face drop gets two. Kanyon tries a powerbomb but gets caught in an Alabama Slam for no cover. There’s the regular powerbomb and Kanyon lands on his head. FREAKING OW MAN.

Awesome, probably trying to let Kanyon figure out if he’s alive or not, goes outside and pulls the pads back. Kanyon is like screw it and fights back but gets caught by a slingshot shoulder block by Awesome. He loads up the over the top powerbomb but Kanyon escapes, only to allow the American to hit a German to the American (Kanyon) and outside we go again. Awesome sets for something and here’s Nash for the run-in. The rest of the New Blood and Millionaire’s Club come in also and it’s thrown out.

Rating: B-. I was liking it but the constant going outside and the stupid ending hurt it a lot. This felt like the main event of Nitro rather than a definitive PPV match. These two had some chemistry together and it was a good match as a result. Keep these two in mind as they’ll be back later on to totally ruin the show in the end.

Mike would eventually become That 70s Guy (just go with it) and the Fat Chick Thriller (again just go with it) before earning a US Title shot at New Blood Rising under Canadian Rules. This one still makes my head hurt.

US Title: Mike Awesome vs. Lance Storm

Let’s see here. This is in Canada so Storm is the hero. He’s the US, Hardcore and Cruiserweight Champion at this point but would give away two of them soon. Now the cool entrance is about the end of the cool aspects of this match. The US Title is the Canadian Title, the Hardcore Title is the Saskatchewan Hardcore International Title (Get it?) and the 100kg and Under Title.

Storm cuts a short promo and might as well be the second coming. Both of these guys left ECW earlier this year. Storm got this, Awesome got the gimmick of That 70s Guy and the Fat Chick Thriller and never won a title in WCW. Storm was just absolutely awesome at this point and this is his big reward for it.

Part of the gimmick Storm had his own rule book and had his own rules. He invokes one of them and says there’s going to be a special referee. We immediately eliminate the chance of it being Bret Hart since a HUGE Bret chant breaks out. It’s Jacques Rougeau, as in The Mountie. We get the Canadian National Anthem and Storm could more or less murder a thousand babies and still get cheered at this point.

There’s a Juggalo here for no apparent reason. Rougeau is the outside referee and there are two titles held up. Pay no attention to whatever the other one is as it’s not mentioned. Awesome dominates early on, hitting a leg drop as a tribute to his far more famous uncle, Hulk Hogan (How many of you knew that one? Awesome’s aunt is married to Hogan’s brother so they’re like step uncle and step nephew or whatever but screw all the technicalities).

We hit the floor and it’s table time. Well they are from ECW to be fair. Madden: “This isn’t wrestling!” Tony: “Of course it’s not!” I still want to know how much annoyance there was in Tony’s statement there. Awesome goes up top and just slips off. Well it happens to everyone I guess. Awesome hits a SWEET Liger Bomb to more or less end Storm.

Then I’m not sure what happens as there’s a three count but Storm gets his arm up at more or less the exact same time. I’m legit not sure if Storm was supposed to kick out there and just didn’t get up in time or if this was part of the upcoming angle. Given the idiocy of this show and the skill of Storm, we’ll say it was intentional. Johnson raises Awesome’s hand to have the crowd on the verge of rioting.

HOWEVER, according to Canadian Rules, you have to get a 5 count to win a title. Awesome gets an Alabama Slam for three and then hooks a Dragon Sleeper. Storm taps out to lose the title again. Oh you know what’s coming. This time it’s you can’t win by submission. Storm gets two off a suplex as we start one more time. The crowd has gone from white hot to DEAD by the way as they’ve seen Storm get pinned and tap in like 6 minutes.

Awesome gets a five count off a Frog Splash and I can’t believe what I’m watching. Storm has a ten count to get up after the original five count. So the US Champion has now lost three times in about ten minutes perfectly clean and they’ve killed one of the hottest crowds I can remember in WCW’s history. The table is in the ring and Awesome clearly slips on the same corner (maybe they should be cleaned guys?) and they both crash through a table.

Rougeau says first man up gets the title and he punches Awesome in the jaw to make sure Storm looks inept. The crowd pops fairly well and just to absolutely cap off the idiocy, BRET HART IS HERE. You know, the guy the crowd was BEGGING for? So let me get this straight.

WCW was too STUPID to get that in Canada, where Bret is pretty much the biggest athlete that isn’t a hockey player in the history of the country (apparently there was a poll done in 2004 where the Greatest Canadians, as in any Canadian ever and not just athletes were ranked. Bret was #39) and where they had him under contract, that instead of using HIM, they paid the Mountie to come in and get the paycheck for the refereeing job while the fans chanted for BRET. This company deserved to go out of business. The Canadians all hug.

Rating: F-. Seriously, was this supposed to be good or something? Am I supposed to be entertained here? I know Russo doesn’t like titles, but if you’re going to kill them at least do it in America where you go more than once. This was just completely idiotic and one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen.

Awesome would be one of the people brought over in the InVasion and would be the first WCW wrestler to win a match in Madison Square Garden when he interfered in a Hardcore Title match and pinned Rhyno to win the belt. For some reason (Awesome blames politics), he was barely a factor in the whole angle and would job on Jakked and Heat for most of his time in the WWF. After a long stint in All Japan, Awesome would make one final return to the WWE for One Night Stand in 2005 against his old rival Masato Tanaka.

Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka

Awesome is a guy that is HATED by Styles and ECW for jumping ship and trying to throw the belt in the trash on Nitro. Because you know, no one in ECW ever disrespected a belt or anything like that. Joey says that it’s a shame Awesome didn’t take his own life on a suicide dive. That’s true Joey. He took his own life by hanging himself. As for the match, it’s about as intense and stiff as you could ask for.

This was an epic rivalry that went around the world and had them trade the ECW Title. That’s the issue here: Awesome is a traitor to ECW but this match is stealing the show. Let the LOUD chair shots begin. I never liked Tanaka’s no selling of chair shots. Ok we get it: chair shots hurt a lot. Table time and JBL makes fun of it for which I can’t blame him. The jokes about Awesome being wasted in WCW are ridiculously true.

The guy was freaking amazing so we make him the Fat Chick Thrillah and That 70s Guy. And you wonder why they went out of business. The crowd is WAY into this one. Oh look: tables. How original! We get a THIS MATCH RULES chant. And there goes Tanaka over the top rope through a table with a powerbomb. Add in an over the top rope dive onto the concrete and it’s over. Very intense stuff.

Rating: B+. Yep, the show has been stolen. These two had some WARS back in the day and this one was no exception at all. Very intense fight rather than a match but whatever. Fun to say the least. There’s something to be said about two guys just pounding on each other for ten minutes.

Unfortunately that was about it for Awesome as he would take his own life less than two years later. Awesome was another guy that could fly like he was about 100lbs lighter than he actually was and moves so fast in the ring that he had to slow it down outside of ECW so people could keep up with him. He’s a prime example of someone that WCW had and just didn’t know what to do with so they screwed him up completely.

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ECW on TNN
Date: March 10, 2000
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

It’s the go home show for Living Dangerously and the main story….is up for debate actually. It could be Dreamer and Tanaka winning the tag titles on a fluke last week. It could be (and likely is) Heyman and company going to war with the Network. It could be Dusty vs. Corino. Either way, none of these feuds have had matches announced for the PPV, but maybe we’ll get something tonight. Let’s get to it.

Joey and Joel are in the ring for the intro for the first time in a few weeks. Joel actually gets to finish him limerick this week by saying that after tonight’s show in Philly, he’ll be riding Cyrus’ mom silly. This of course draws out Cyrus but even Joey goes off on him this time, saying he won’t interview a jerk like Cyrus.

Opening sequence.

Cyrus is still in the ring as the fans chant for RVD. We FINALLY get some matches announced for the PPV as tonight we’ll start a TV Title tournament which will end at the PPV. Bill Alfonzo comes out but Cyrus keeps ranting, saying he’s canceling ECW on TNN to be replaced by Extreme Championship Shuffleboard. This brings out RVD with the title and his ankle wrapped up. Before we get to that though, here’s a PPV ad so we can pay the talent.

Also a hotline ad.

Back in the arena with Scotty Anton (Riggs) standing by RVD’s side. Cyrus makes fun of Riggs but Rob shoves him away and praises Riggs for his loyalty. Yeah the screwjob is coming a mile away. Anyway Rob says his leg is getting better and he’s still in the gym to stay in shape. Rob talks about watching ECW grow for years now and about how he’s never left for greener pastures. He isn’t going to let Cyrus screw up everything ECW has done no matter how badly he’s hurt.

Rob throws down the belt and vows to take the title back from whomever Cyrus gets it on and he’ll do it here on TNN. Cyrus and Fonzie are about to get into it but Rhyno gores Fonzie down. Rob and Rhyno get into it but Anton pulls RVD away before he’s injured even worse. Cyrus wants to start this tournament right now.

TV Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Rhyno vs. Spike Dudley

Spike scores with a quick neckbreaker and gets two off a small package. A sunset flip gets the same and Spike low bridges a charging Rhyno out to the floor. Back from a break with Spike being thrown off a balcony onto but not through some tables. Back to ringside with Rhyno being sent into the barricade and a bulldog gets two for Spike.

Spike takes a chair to the top but dives into a left hand to the ribs to put him down. A TKO gets two for Rhyno and he sets up a table in the corner. Spike comes back with the Acid Drop but here come all the heels to break it up. The distraction lets Rhyno Gore him through the table, injuring Spike’s knee in the process. A piledriver sends Rhyno to the semi-finals at the PPV, apparently against Sandman who beat Tajiri in a non-televised match.

Rating: D. I’m over this Spike the Giant Killer schtick. We get it: you have ONE MOVE that can stop big guys but people are going to interfere in case it’s a top level monster. It’s the same idea of X-Pac being able to hit the X-Factor and win matches against guys he has no business being in the ring against. In other words, COME UP WITH SOMETHING ELSE.

Spike is being taken to the hospital.

Jado/Gedo vs. Impact Players

This is also from the same show but it’s being shown out of order for some reason. I think Gedo is starting against Credible with the Players in early control. Off to Storm for a dropkick and a bunch of trash talking (yes from Lance Storm) before it’s back to Credible for a chinlock. Gedo tries to fight up but gets taken down by a clothesline and it’s back to Storm for right hands. Gedo flips out of a German suplex and clotheslines Storm down, allowing for the tag off to Jado.

Storm gets crotched on the top and belly to back superplexed down. Everything breaks down and both teams score some hot near falls. Back to Justin as the chair is thrown out of the ring, only to be replaced by a table. Jado reverses a hiptoss to send Credible through the table before catching Storm in a tiger driver. A top rope splash from Gedo gets two and Justin is dropkicked to the floor. Jado gets two off a middle rope powerbomb but Gedo walks into a superkick and gets caught in a spike piledriver for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a fun match for the most part when they ignored the violent nonsense. I can usually overlook insanity and rules breaking down in tag matches because it makes for the most interesting stuff. Also, how nice was it to see actual TAGS in a tag team match? Fun stuff here.

We’re FINALLY given more PPV matches with Dreamer/Tanaka defending against the Impact Players and Mike Awesome/Raven (never been on screen together that I remember) and Corino vs. Dusty Rhoes in a bullrope match.

Tag Titles: Raven/Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka/Tommy Dreamer

Sure why not. Awesome throws Dreamer around to start before it’s off to Raven for some cheap shots. Dreamer gets up and Raven runs off to bring Mike back in. Tanaka gets the tag as well to give us the same match we’ve been watching for three months. Awesome wins a slugout and gets two off a quick splash. Tanaka sends him face first into the middle buckle and scores with a missile dropkick for no cover. Awesome counters the tornado DDT into a sitout spinebuster but he tags Raven instead of covering.

We get our first chair but Tanaka channels his inner Samoan and no sells the shot to the head. Tanaka elbows him in the head for two and Raven is sent into the chair in the corner. Dreamer pounds away and puts Raven in the Tree of Woe for the standing on the crotch spot. Awesome uses the distraction to powerbomb Dreamer out of the corner to give Raven two. Back to Mike for a middle rope back elbow, getting another near fall.

A choke bomb gets two more on Dreamer so it’s back to Raven. Bird Boy grabs a mic and pounds it into Dreamer’s head as Raven talks trash to Tommy. Dreamer does the smart thing by kicking Raven low but the back is too hurt to tag. A bulldog gets two on Dreamer and it’s table time. Awesome misses the splash through the table and Dreamer makes the tag off to Tanaka. He cleans house on both challenges but Awesome takes him down with a release German suplex.

Everything breaks down and Judge Jeff Jones sends in two more tables. Masato loads up a superplex through the table but gets crotched on the top instead. Dreamer loads up a Death Valley Driver off the top, only to be pulled down by Raven and sent face first into the edge of the table with the drop toehold. That looked SICK.

The Awesome Splash is only good for two and the Awesome Bomb through the table gets the same thanks to a save by Tanaka. The Roaring (discus) elbow gets two on Raven and the Dreamer DDT gets the same. Awesome hits the running Awesome Bomb through the table on Dreamer, allowing Raven to get the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. This was actually something almost kind of resembling the tag team formula. It’s certainly not a good match but at least there was some kind of a flow to it. The booking on the other hand continues to be stupid as there’s no real reason to change the titles around like this other than to set up the three way dance. Raven vs. Dreamer and Tanaka vs. Awesome are played out, but Heyman, the GENIUS, can’t come up with anything new so this is what we’re stuck with.

Sinister Minister does his recap of the show and laughs a lot. Is there a point to this guy?

Overall Rating: D+. Well it wasn’t as bad as last week’s show but that isn’t saying much. We do at least have something set up for Sunday which is more than I was expecting to have by the end of the show. Some of the wrestling here wasn’t terrible and the less Sandman nonsense I have to sit through the better.

Here’s Living Dangerously if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/12/on-this-day-march-12-2000-living-dangerously-2000-two-ecw-shows-in-a-month-is-dangerous-enough/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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First ECW on TNN
Date: August 27, 1999
Commentator: Joey Styles

From the title I think you get the idea here. This show is weird as it’s a lot like the old WWF TV shows as it’s a collection of previously aired matches thrown together here. The first show they taped was awful so they turned it into this. The main thing is Lynn vs. Van Dam from Hardcore Heaven 99 which I’ll re-review and see how it matches up with the original rating I gave it, which is something I don’t think I’ve done before. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of the Dudleys (who would leave for WWF in like a week) powerbombing someone through a flaming table as Joey says this isn’t WCW or WWF but ECW.

Cue theme song. The main focus is Tazz who would leave in like 2-3 months and everyone knew that was going to happen.

Joey lists off a bunch of people to have held the TV Title but says RVD might be better than all of them.

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn

I think this is new commentary here but I’m not sure. This is really just a way to introduce Van Dam and give us what they know is an exciting match. You can’t hear a word the ring announcer is saying. They start with a nice sequence where neither can get any real advantage but the fans love it. We actually get highlights of both guys in the middle of the match. I get that you want to showcase two of your top guys but dude, do it when there’s not a match on.

Van Dam gets knocked to the floor and Lynn takes over. Lynn gets a top rope bulldog for two. RVD is bleeding from…..something. I think at this point we go to a commercial as we get an ad for Anarchy Rulz. Joey suggests the Warrior could be coming to ECW. Oh dear. Yeah the commentary here is new. Lynn is bleeding too now after botching a fall to the floor and hitting his foot on the ropes. The replay has a rap song with it. Really?

Lynn gets a sunset powerbomb for two. What would an ECW match be without tables? Van Dam’s eye is messed up and made of pretty colors. Van Daminator in the stands as this match is kind of hard to follow. Another commercial doesn’t help as they don’t stop the match for it, which is either a good idea or a bad idea and I’m not sure which. Lynn gets another sunset powerbomb through the table on the floor.

CUE THE RAP SONG REPLAY! After a clip or a commercial, Fonzie takes a chair pelted at his head. Lynn goes for a top rope belly to belly but he just falls off. You know the chant we get from that. Cradle Piledriver is blocked and both guys are down. Split Legged Moonsault hits Lynn. PAY ATTENTION MORRISON. THAT IS HOW YOU DO THE FREAKING MOVE. And there’s the Five Star out of more or less nowhere but Lynn rolls through for two. Van Daminator and a HUGE Five Star ends it.

Rating: B-. The clipping hurts this a lot. It makes this look like far less of an ultra competitive match and more like RVD just breaking a sweat. It’s still good but at the same time it really makes Lynn look weak. At the same time though this was about RVD and that worked very well. This was still good but a different kind of good. I gave the PPV version a B as I still find these matches to be overrated by most ECW fans.

We plug Rollerjam (which as a kid I thought was a cool show. The women were hot if nothing else) and then talk about the ECW World Title, listing off guys that didn’t win it but tried to, such as Konnan, Benoit, Austin and Foley. I’m not entirely sold on talking about guys that USED to be here, but you could look at it like this: We had these guys before they were superstars. Imagine what kind of buried treasures we have here now. That makes sense.

Shane threw down the NWA Title, which meant nothing to most fans watching this show but whatever. That was 5 years before the debut of the TV show. Didn’t know that.

ECW World Title: Taz vs. Rhyno

This is from Hardcore TV or a house show. Rhyno hits a powerbomb 3 seconds in and Taz just pops up. Rhyno means nothing at this point which you can probably guess. Well we’re in Chicago if nothing else. Taz is massacring him here with Rhyno looking like a freaking  jobber. He’s hit two punches to the ribs and a no sold powerbomb. Tazz sets up a table and Rhyno hits new levels of offense with THREE punches to the ribs. Suplex through the table sets up the Tazmission. Total squash if there ever has been one.

Rating: N/A. This was DOMINANCE which is the idea I guess, but Rhyno looks like a joke here. The problem is that these matches are just random defenses with no meaning to them. We keep hearing about Steve Corino and how he’s Taz’s archenemy, but we never even see him.

Video on Sabu who is apparently awesome. No match or anything but just highlights.

Ad for Anarchy Rulz again.

Spike Dudley vs. Big Sal

Low blow and Acid Drop end it. Literally that’s the whole thing. Who is Spike? Who is Sal? “Spike has done it again!” What does he do? Apparently that’s not important. Ah ok they call him the Giant Killer.

The Impact Players introduce themselves and we have no idea if they mean anything or not. Cyrus pops up for no apparent reason as Jason makes gay jokes about Joey. We see clips of the Impact Players beating people up which helps a bit as we know they’re dominant.

House show ads.

We get a BUNCH of clips of guys and a brief description (as in their nickname) of them. It’s set to a Kid Rock song so what do you expect here?

Taz talks about how TNN and ECW are together now and how cool that is I guess. We get clips of famous people he’s made tap out. He talks for like three minutes and that ends this mess.

Overall Rating: D. This was a total mess. Considering this is the first show, this was just awful as you learn nothing about the guys other than Taz being a tough guy and RVD is awesome. Other than that though you get nothing at all here though and other than a single good match to start, this gave us nothing. We have no idea about any feuds or angles or anything like that as it was just a few squashes and one big match from months earlier. This just didn’t work as Heyman clearly didn’t know what he was doing, which became a theme here. Bad show and just a car wreck of an hour.

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Guilty As Charged 2000
Date: January 9, 2000
Location: Boutwell Memorial Auditorium, Birmingham, Alabama
Attendance: 4,700
Commentators: Joey Styles, Cyrus

To show you where this company was at this point, Spike Dudley is in the main event fighting Mike Awesome for the world title. What does that tell you? The company was on life support at this point with WWF beating the heck out of everyone and WCW just generally sucking. Other than that we have the Impact Players vs. Dreamer and Raven. That’s about it. Oh and RVD vs. Sabu in what I’m sure will be forgettable. Let’s get to it.

ECW’s video game is the sponsor, resulting in a massive logo on the mat. That could get annoying. Joey points out that Cyrus’ headset isn’t plugged into anything. So that’s where Otunga got the idea from. Gertner of course shows up for like the 9th PPV in a row. He makes sex jokes, Joey asks if that’s all he’s there for, Joel says he made his joke, got a pop, is more over than Cyrus, is getting laid later, and has already gotten paid. Was there a point in this at all?

Theme song.

CW Anderson vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Anderson is allegedly Arn’s son or nephew or whatever. It’s an easy way to get a guy over. Heck Ricky Steamboat got his name by pretending to be the son of a local guy named Sam Steamboat so this is fine. He’s also the enforcer of the new Dangerous Alliance with Lou E. Dangerously. It more or less sucked but it was a midcard stable so I can’t complain about that much.

 

And now Lou wants to talk. Ok his imitation is pretty good. Whipwreck fights off a double team and hits a nice spot where he grabs Anderson in a wheelbarrow and slams his ribs onto the railing. I love that. Anderson works on the arm like a true Anderson would so at least the mythology for lack of a better term is there. Mikey hits a NICE clothesline off the top.

 

When I say nice I mean it didn’t look that professional, but it looked realistic which a lot of the time is the most important to me. I’d rather have it look like a normal person executing a move than looking well trained and choreographed etc, but that’s just me. Mikey hits the Whippersnapper but the referee gets pulled out. A cell phone shot sets up the Anderson Spinebuster for the pin.

Rating: C+. This felt like a TV match but it came off pretty well. If nothing else it gives the stable a credible win and Mikey was great at getting the crowd into his matches. While not the best match in the world, this was decent enough as an opener.

Joey and Cyrus talk for a bit and you can tell they get along well behind the scenes.

Simon Diamond/Roadkill/Danny Doring vs. Nova/Jazz/Kid Kash

Simon and his valet get and likely deserve gay jokes that are made about them. Elektra, Doring and Roadkill’s manager was always one of my favorites. This was a midcard feud that went on forever and never really went anywhere. Kid Kash was based on Kid Rock. Yeah that’s not dated at all.

 

Oddly enough though, Rock wound up at a Mania and I don’t think Kash ever did. That’s very amusing. They say Mitch is like Conan O’Brien but with a worse haircut. Elektra does the Pec Dance. Oh dear. Jazz still gets no reaction. When Kid Kash gets a better reaction than you, you’re in trouble. Hey we’re actually starting! We’re getting wrestling in ECW! I don’t believe it! Ok that’s not fair.

 

Jazz and Doring start us off and Not Chyna is in trouble. Aww I wanted to see Roadkill vs. Jazz. Roadkill is a guy that is better than he’s made out to be I think. ECW’s camerawork is just atrocious. It’s all over the place and they miss SO much. Jazz hits the X Factor, her finisher, and when I say hits I mean his head never actually hits the mat, but Dick Hertz is back to do nothing at all.

 

I hate the lack of pads. There’s a difference between tough and stupid and dives onto concrete are stupid. So Jazz, Diamond and Kash are gone so it’s the future tag champions vs. Nova. Nova hits a DDT that they say will be on TV tomorrow night. That would imply someone is watching this show so he’s safe. This is one sided obviously since it’s 2-1.

 

In a funny spot Doring goes into Nova’s corner and pretends to be his partner and punches him when he reaches for a tag. Chris Chetti who is still injured at this point comes down to be the partner. He even hits a pescado and takes out the fat man. And now everybody dives over the top. Nova does it, Doring does it, the referee does it. Seriously it’s ECW did you expect anything else?

 

Doring and Nova fight on the top rope and Nova just falls to the floor. No mats remember. That’s such a scary bump. A top rope splash from Roadkill ends it. Post match two guys named the Dupps come out and beat up everyone until Nova and Doring make the save.

Rating: D+. Not bad but of course it’s a massive mess. These guys feuded forever and this is just another chapter in it. I don’t think they ever went past this spot on the card but you got two decent teams out of it. Not bad but not great.

Mike Awesome and his manager cut an interview that I can barely hear because of the crowd cheering for Elektra in the ring. Oh it’s about Spike.

Spike cuts probably the best promo of his career, “breaking character” saying he’s going to hurt Mike Awesome tonight and yelling at a production guy who tells him to stay in character. He says he’s not an actor and drops a lot of F bombs. Better than it sounds.

Yoshihiro Tajiri/???vs. Super Crazy/???

This is a dream partner tag match and allegedly Jerry Lynn and Tajiri are working together and Lynn will be the partner of Tajiri. Steve Corino is here with Tajiri and is starting to look like his familiar self, mainly due to his beard. He talks to the audience before the match and they HATE him. Corino picks Crazy as Tajiri’s partner, and here’s Little Guido for no apparent reason.

 

He’s mad at Corino (take a number) for not picking him. IT’S THE BOSS! Heyman makes a rare appearance and is more over than anyone else likely is. We get about our 9th F Bomb in less than an hour. Guido has a partner (he was in the match?) tonight (make that ten) and it’s Jerry Lynn. Heyman censors New F’ing Show. Why? Whatever, at least it’s almost over.

Yoshihiro Tajiri/Super Crazy vs. Jerry Lynn/Little Guido

It’s like they wanted to do a four way dance and they just forgot how to book it. So Tajiri and Crazy were going to pick their own dream tag partners and Guido is mad that Corino didn’t pick him to be Tajiri’s partner so Heyman inserted him and Lynn together into a team together to fight Tajiri and Crazy as Tajiri picked him opponent as his partner. No explanation given as to why he did that but whatever.

 

We get some nice technical stuff to start us out so I’m happy. This was more or less the Cruiserweight division as they kept having meaningless matches that ran together really badly, but to be fair there are two TV Champions and a World Champion in this. This is more or less all of them doing all of their stiff strikes on each other. I can work with that.

 

What would an ECW show be without a fairly solid botch? Let’s break out those high spots people! We’re into the crowd already and we can’t see ANYTHING. Tajiri vs. Lynn in the ring as Crazy does his big moonsault. Both Crazy and Tajiri do the ten punches in the corner and both take powerbombs out of it. For two guys like Lynn and Guido that don’t team together they sure think alike don’t they?

 

A double powerbomb can’t beat Lynn. Now remember, this is the same Lynn that was never put over RVD (to this point). So they’re saying that RVD could take this much and do better? Lynn never got pushed like he could have. With him being fairly conservative with the hardcore stuff he would have been far better than Corino for the anti-hardcore stuff.

 

Anyway, the partners finally turn on each other and Tajiri hits a brainbuster on Lynn to end it. Post match, Corino and his boys come out and beat up Lynn and Corino runs down Dusty Rhodes for no apparent reason.

 

Dusty is here of course, despite being everything ECW was supposed to not be about, as he is the epitome of old school and old mentality of booking but with them this close to death I guess it’s whatever. Rhyno beats him up and the majority of the roster comes down to save him. To be fair, he got an eruption so maybe they’re onto something.

Rating: D. The match was decent, but what in the world were they going for here? Whatever it was they didn’t get it. This just didn’t do it at all for me as I have no clue what they were trying to accomplish. It was confusing and no one really got it I don’t think, plus it somehow sets up the manager vs. Dusty Rhodes? What the heck?

New Jack talks about being ticked off at Da Baldies and having a staple in him. Well they were loyal to him. I have to give them that.

Ad for their TV shows and live events. It’s sponsored by their video game. That really was a fairly big deal. It pretty much sucked, but it was a nice accomplishment I guess.

Angel vs. New Jack

This is for King of the Streets, which is just a name I guess. The other two Baldies are with Angel. So we have a black man beating up a Latino in the Deep South. Yeah this isn’t going to go bad at all. Oh an it’s the song too. Can’t you tell how thrilled I am by that? I wonder how much they spent on his toys over the years.

 

New Jack “drops” an “elbow” from the top “onto” Angel. This is just not that interesting at all as it’s just New Jack beating him up with weapons. It’s limited to this match so far though so I can’t complain that much. If they keep it isolated I can live with it. Grimes and DeVito, the other Baldies are beating him up now.

 

So we’re on the floor in the middle of the crowd now with New Jack fighting some other guy. Jack dives out of the balcony and while it’s a big jump, it’s been done. That’s how I would sum up New Jack’s issues: we’ve seen it all before and it just loses its specialness. Angel remembers he’s in this match and comes to beat Jack up. At least Angel’s selling is funny. A shovel to New Jack’s head ends it.

Rating: D-. Like I said, we’ve seen this all before. What is the point of seeing it all over again? We get it: New Jack is a street fighter and Angel can beat him. What’s the point to it? I just don’t get it.

Alfonso goes into Van Dam’s dressing room and says it smells great in there but we need to air it out a bit. He’s stoned about out of his mind but whatever. Seriously is there any reason at all why he never got the world title? RVD says he’s beaten everyone with Fonzie saying he’s not Sabu.

 

Fonzie says he’s behind Van Dam 100%. And then we go down the hall to talk to Sabu and Fonzie. Fonzie cuts a promo talking about how Sabu is going to win. That’s a funny idea actually but it sets up the match quite well. If Sabu doesn’t win he leaves apparently.

ECW TV Title: Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam

Ok, this actually is a big match. I’ll give them that. RVD’s wife is here after having a bad Jetski accident. She’s ever pretty actually. Joey says it’ll be a classic. I doubt that but maybe. We’re on the floor already and Fonzie is the most interesting thing here as he’s saying he’ll be the winner no matter what. That’s brilliant actually. We break out the high spots and Cyrus calls the fans troglodytes.

 

Sabu is of course sloppy but this time it’s not as bad. He’s not blowing basic spots which helps a lot. Fonzie set up a table earlier on and there it goes. Sabu gets hurt putting Van Dam through it as it’s just been a fight so far. He calls for some athletic tape for his knee as it’s in trouble.

 

This is still a big crazy fight, but it’s far less annoying here as instead of just mindless violence and making it look silly, this takes the weapons and violence and puts them in as parts of a wrestling match. The Triple Jump Moonsault hits but there’s no referee. Van Dam kicks out of a legdrop version.

 

Fonzie tries to wake up the referee but not really, which is nice again as he’s unsure if he wants to go with Sabu but he kind of does. Van Dam sets for the Van Daminator but fakes Sabu out and counters his counter to hit it. That was nice. They screw up a hurricanrana as Van Dam doesn’t go down.

 

That might have been intentional so I can give them that. Fonzie is in the ring with a chair but can’t decide who to give it to so Van Dam hits him with a Van Daminator. SWEET. After blocking a springboard splash, Van Dam hits the Five Star to retain. Post match Sabu leaves the out cold Alfonso laying there.

Rating: B-. I liked it. I have no idea why but I liked it. I think it was the Fonzie thing but this came off as decent to me. I have no desire to watch them fight again, but for a one time thing I liked it. By far the best Sabu match I can remember but not one of Rob’s best. Still this is a major match so that’s good.

The Impact Players say they’ll win the belts because they’re better.

Cyrus and Joey say Sandman/Rhyno won’t happen because Sandman had to take care of a family emergency. I like that. It sucks that a match had to be canceled, but at least be honest about it. I like that as it’s something different.

Tag Titles: Impact Players vs. Raven/Tommy Dreamer

The Players come out separately for no apparent reason. To be fair the champions do too. Apparently the Impact Players are trying to take over the company so Dreamer and Raven are fighting for ECW. Sure why not. Raven is RIDICULOUSLY over. They can’t get in the ring as the Impact Players (I feel like I’m doing OCW again) fight them off.

 

We hit the floor because that makes sense to give up your advantage like that. The champions throw the other guys off the stage as they’re working together. Hey we go to an actual tag sequence. I’m stunned. Ok to be fair ECW matches usually do go to rules after the insanity dies down. Dreamer is both busted up and in trouble as we HIT THE CHINLOCK!

 

It’s fun seeing these guys actually wrestle for a change rather than just having mindless brawls. If nothing else we get to look at some rather hot women during this with Francine and Dawn Marie. Storm misses the second best superkick in wrestling and Dreamer gets the hot tag. Well kind of as he hits the hand but no one calls it. The referee realizes they kind of blew the spot and just lets it go I guess.

 

Raven hits his drop toehold. I’ve always liked how simple yet awesome that was. And there’s the Tombstone but surprisingly it only gets two. I would have bet on that being the ending. Storm sets up a table and then like an IDIOT stands in front of it. As he goes through it, the only thing I can think of is YOU FREAKING DESERVE IT.

 

The girls go at it and it’s nothing special. There’s your Bronco Buster which still is freaking stupid. Raven takes a Singapore cane shot for Francine but walks into That’s Incredible for the pin.

Rating: C-. Give this more wrestling and a bit more time and this can be pretty good. This was just too short on wrestling and too little Raven who is the best guy in here not named Storm. This was a decent enough match though but it just needed more time to make it a good bit better.

We go outside to the parking lot to talk to Corino and company who say they’re proud of beating up Rhodes. Rhyno tells the guy to shut the F up. THAT is the first moment from ECW that I ever remember. Rhyno wants an ECW Title shot. He would get it and be the last champion of the company.

Cyrus is REALLY happy about the Impact Players getting the belts.

We go to the recap of Spike vs. Awesome which is because Spike’s girlfriend took a clothesline and knocked her teeth out.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. Spike Dudley

This should be going on in the spot of the TV Title match and the TV Title match should come on last. Spike has lost a lot of that ANGER from an hour and a half ago. He starts setting up tables before Mike is even here. Oh well we get to listen to some more AC/DC so I can’t complain. He sets up FIVE tables including two on top of each other before getting into the ring with a microphone.

 

He talks about how he makes his living getting put through tables. Ok thanks for admitting you’re a glorified jobber getting a title shot at a PPV. Why was Awesome managed by a “judge?” That never made much sense to me but whatever. Spike goes through a table less than 15 seconds in. Ok then let’s go home now as this is rather pointless. There go two more.

 

We’re MAYBE a minute and a half in and Spike has done nothing at all other than a few punches. Them calling the split screen replay Double Vision is funny. Spike is in the crowd and Awesome dives over the railing to knock him back down. Joey wants the match stopped but then cheers when he kicks out of a splash. Is this supposed to make sense?

 

Oh that’s right it’s Spike Dudley in the main event of a PPV. Of course it’s not supposed to make sense. Awesome Bomb is blocked and Spike jumps at Awesome and hits something close to an Acid Drop on the guard rail. Spike might have hurt his leg. Wow I wonder how he could have done that. Spike hits a hurricanrana which Awesome (rightfully) no sells and then kills Spike with a clothesline for two.

 

Spike hits the one move that I’ve never been able to understand how it can be done safely: a double stomp from the top rope. In an INSANE spot, Spike gets on the top rope and hits a springboard clothesline from the ring to the front row. That was impressive and Joey/Cyrus make fun of Hogan for doing such limited stuff.

 

That’s rather amusing as Awesome is actually Hogan’s nephew or something close to that. Spike hits an Acid Drop from the apron to the floor through a table and chokes Awesome out with a cord to take over. Joey shouting AWESOME IS DEAD over and over after a big chair shot is rather creepy.

 

Spike is thrown through a table and is more or less out cold. Spike then further proves his idiocy by going up when Awesome is on the top rope in front of a table. Of course he goes through it for the pin. He deserved that for general stupidity.

Rating: D-. The problem here is simple: the credibility just wasn’t there at all. Spike is still his size and Awesome is his size. That’s why this didn’t work very well. We get it: Spike can do moves to big guys, but chair shots and a Diamond Cutter from the ropes isn’t enough to make this believable. They tried….kind of, but this just didn’t work that well at all.

OverallRating: D+. It’s by no means the worst ECW show ever, but seriously, what happened here? Van Dam keeps the belt again, Awesome dominates again, the dream partner match made no sense. Oh right the Players won the belts. Guess what they do at the next PPV.

 

They win the belts since they lose them in a few weeks. Anyway, this wasn’t horrible I guess, but that’s not saying much. Just a very lackluster show and you can clearly see the things just getting ready to come crashing down.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on TNN
Date: October 1, 1999
Location: Compuware Sports Arena, Plymouth, Michigan
Attendance: 1,600
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

Back here again and we’re somehow less than a year from this show ending. I didn’t realize how short this series was but we’re about a month into it and we have less than a year to go at this point. Awesome is the world champion and needs someone to fight so maybe we’ll get to that tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with breaking news: the tag champions got in a fight backstage and Dreamer is still wrestling tonight.

Mike Awesome will defend the title tonight.

Theme song. That’s still pretty awesome.

ECW World Title: Rhyno vs. Mike Awesome

Rhyno charges into a clothesline before the bell and then takes a jumping back elbow off the middle rope. Another clothesline puts him on the floor and Awesome hits a dive over the top. Most of it hit concrete but the effort was there. Back in a top rope clothesline gets two. Awesome likes that move. Awesome Bomb is countered and Rhyno Gores him but that’s not a finisher yet. Swan dive by Rhyno gets two. German suplex out of nowhere takes Rhyno down and there’s an Awesome Bomb up and over the top rope and through a table on the floor. Rhyno is mostly dead so the Awesome Splash retains the title.

Rating: C. Awesome was, in a word, awesome with the stuff he could pull off in the ring. People shouldn’t be able to move the way he could so it amazes me that WCW screwed him up as much as they did. He was mostly a face as the fans cheered him because there was almost no way to not be impressed. Fun match here and basically a squash for the champ.

Big Sal E. Graziano vs. Little Spike Dudley

Sal weighs about 500lbs. Spike is the Giant Killer so I think you know where this is going. It’s going to a no contest as Guido runs in for the DQ and it’s time for a new match.

Little Spike Dudley vs. Little Guido

Does the winner get upgraded to a medium? After a quick break they trade rollups and Spike takes him down with a neckbreaker for two. A forearm puts Guido on the floor and there’s a dive. Guido throws him into the barricade and Sal splashes him up against the steel. Middle rope Fameasser gets two. Tomikaze (Killswitch) gets two and Guido is frustrated. Sal comes in but his splash misses and the Acid Drop to both guys (with Sal landing on Guido) gets the pin.

Rating: D+. It was entertaining enough but the Spike character could only be carried so far. The idea of him hitting one shot and then the Acid Drop to win matches worked for awhile but it finally had to stop. Guido was his usual self and Sal did his usual fat guy stuff. Not bad or anything but Spike did the same thing every week.

Music video on RVD.

The following is from Anarchy Rulz but it was a dark match so I haven’t seen it yet.

Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. CW Anderson/Bill Whilles

Big pop for Roadkill be fore he and Whilles gets us going. Roadie punches him down and hits a powerslam to set up a double tag. Doring speeds things way up and hits a Japanese armdrag. Back to Roadkill who hits a Bossman Slam and everyone is in now. Doring cleans house but walks into an Anderson spinebuster and a single arm DDT. The control lasts for about 30 seconds and it’s back to Roadkill. Bill manages a spinning powerslam on Doring for two and everything breaks down again. Danny hits a reverse DDT to set up a top rope splash by Roadkill for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a good choice for a dark match as the fans were WAY into Roadkill and Doring. They would get the titles in about 14 months but ECW was long past dead by that point. They also had Lita as a manager for a cup of coffee so there aren’t any complaints there. Fun match here that was very fast paced and got the people going though.

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer is in street clothes. Back from a break before the match and Dreamer hits a baseball slide to send Corino (manager) into Tajiri. Tajiri gets crotched on the barricade and takes the deadly Pepsi to the face. Back in the handspring elbow and the Buzzsaw kick give Tajiri a quick advantage but Dreamer comes back with a slingshot splash for two. Dreamer goes up for something like a moonsault I think but gets crotched and put in the Tree of Woe.

Tajiri misses his baseball slide and crotches himself so Tommy shows him how its done. Dreamer sets for a suplex to the floor through a table but Tajiri manages to superkick him down to the floor. Back inside Dreamer puts Tajiri in the Tarantula and doesn’t look half bad at it. We go back to the floor and Tajiri is thrown into the crowd. It’s your usual crowd brawl with both guys being thrown in the penalty box. Tajiri is busted.

They head to ringside and Tajiri steals a beer which he spits into Tajiri’s face Mist style. In the ring Dreamer runs into a superkick but pulls off a Dre

amer Driver for two. Corino and Francine come in with the girl hitting a Pedigree on Corino. Raven comes in, DDTs Dreamer and lets Tajiri kick him in the head for the pin.

Rating: C-. The brawling was ok but at the same time, the same problem most ECW brawls had comes into play: why are these two having this big wild brawl? I’d assume it’s over the tag titles but that’s really just an educated guess. There’s no real reason to have these two beat on each other so much so it’s not something you can just jump into and be interested. Kind of a fun match but it was only there for the ending.

Overall Rating: C. Much like the Sci-Fi version, this show is finally starting to calm down and therefore it’s gotten a lot more entertaining and watchable. There are stories being told throughout the show and they eventually (in theory) get paid off at the PPV. That’s basic wrestling booking and if they can get that down, things will go way up as a result. Not a great show but it’s a good sign.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 18, 2001
Location: Ice Palace, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 10,264
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

It’s the go home show for King of the Ring and that’s about all we’ve got for that show. The tournament gets set tonight I think and we have a main event, but other than that I don’t remember anything being made for the card. The Invasion would get its first big name at that PPV though, so at least there’s that. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is from Smackdown with Austin trying to get a petition together to present to Linda that says the triple threat is unfair. Spike ripped it up when Austin called Molly a bimbo, resulting in Spike getting a world title shot.

Dudleys/Austin vs. Canadians/Spike later. Now this is where things get confusing. That’s what the graphic says, but JR says it’s just Dudleys vs. Canadians for the titles. Oh boy. I wonder who’s getting fired over this one. Now the Dudleys would indeed get a title match later this week on Smackdown (and they’d win the belts), but that’s not what we saw on the screen.

We open with Spike and Molly of all people. Spike talks about how he’s shocked to have been in this ring and gotten to wrestle for the WWF Title and that could have been his moment in the sun. However, Austin had to go after Molly after that, so Spike calls out Austin. Heyman’s reaction is very funny.

Austin and Spike introduce themselves and Austin says he’s not going to be called out by someone like Spike. Spike says he just did and Austin starts to walk away. Spike asks the fans and they want to see it for the title. Austin still says no but says Spike has guts. No one else would, but Molly is still a bimbo. Spike: “YOU TAKE THAT BACK!” Molly slaps Austin and Heyman erupts. Austin looks….happy? That earned Molly respect so Austin sticks his hand out. Spike shakes it and Austin pulls him but doesn’t attack. Molly however gets a Stunner though.

During the break, the Dudleys didn’t seem mad.

Molly is getting looked at and the Dudleys show up. They praise Spike for standing up for himself. However, they want to know what’s wrong with a picture when Spike has been here three months and has gotten a title shot while they’ve gotten zero in a year and a half. Spike says he’ll do something about it.

Now the graphic says the titles are on the line in the main event. Interesting.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

This would be a TNA PPV main event today, almost 11 years later. Angle snaps off a quick German and Jeff is in trouble. He goes after the leg but Jeff speeds things up and we go to the floor where Jeff runs the railing into a clothesline. Angle hits the release German this time but the Slam is countered. A jawbreaker looks to set up the Swanton but Kurt rolls away before Jeff jumps. The moonsault is as gorgeous as ever but Kurt misses, allowing Jeff to hit the Swanton for two. Jeff goes up but gets pulled down into the ankle lock for the tap out.

Rating: B-. What the heck was that??? Jeff Hardy is a midcard guy on his best day in 2001 but this was AWESOME. Well, awesome all things considered. I mean it was just a three minute match but they cranked out a very fun match here, especially when you consider where Jeff was on the ladder at this point. Jeff’s best match ever might have been with Kurt in 2010 so this isn’t really shocking.

Austin needs someone to talk to who understands him. His wife, Debra, volunteers. Austin: “I said someone that understands me.” Debra says understands about titles because she used to be champion. Austin laughs and Debra is hurt.

Tajiri and Regal are talking about the tournament which Tajiri is in when Austin enters. Spike asked for a match with him and Regal made the aforementioned six man, saying the title match will wait for tomorrow. Austin says he’ll do it but he needs someone to talk to and he picks….Tajiri? Regal is confused but goes along with it and leaves.

Tough Enough commercial. Josh Matthews is I believe the only one left from that season.

Tazz, one of the Tough Enough trainers, says that there’s a preview at WWF New York. Hardcore Holly comes up to make fun of him and a match is made.

Kane is at WWF New York…and he’s playing a crane game to win prizes. He doesn’t win so he breaks the glass and steals a bunch which he gives to a kid. You know, I watched a Raw earlier today and Kane was about to win the world title from Austin. The last thing I expected him to do was play a crane game to win prizes. Just throwing that out there.

We recap the Undertaker’s wife stalker thing with Sara being stalked. That’s about it.

Taz vs. Hardcore Holly

The entrances are cut off by a new stalker video of the stalker watching Taker and his wife leaving their house. She almost comes into what I guess is a garage where he is but doesn’t. The voice says tonight he’ll reveal himself. Back to the match. Holly starts out fast with his usual stuff and drops a top rope leg for two. Taz comes back but walks into a powerslam. And there’s the Tazmission out of nowhere to end this.

Austin explains how Linda McMahon is ruining his life. Tajiri replies in Japanese as Austin rants against women. Austin thanks him for the talk and bows to him. Regal comes in and says that Tajiri is up next. Funny stuff at least.

Christian isn’t happy that he has to face Big Show and teases tension with Edge. Angle breaks it up.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Rhyno vs. Tajiri

The winner gets the winner of Edge vs. Saturn. Lillian sounded a step off on the announcing for some reason. Rhyno takes over with power but Tajiri ranas him down and they go to the floor. Back in a spinebuster gets two for Rhyno. Tajiri hits the handspring elbow which is always cool. There’s an Octopus Hold which he shifts into the Tarantula. Buzzsaw kick misses and Rhyno powerbombs him half through the ring. Rhyno loads up the Gore but Tajiri KICKS HIS FREAKING HEAD OFF to counter. Tajiri goes up for some reason but jumps into a Gore for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not as good as the opener but that ending was very good stuff. There’s something awesome about seeing Tajiri just kick the tar out of people and also seeing Rhyno blast someone with a Gore. This was very entertaining and the show is on a roll to start so far.

Post break Regal GOES OFF on Regal. I mean there’s a vein coming out of his head.

Here’s Taker…..or not. It’s the Stalker as Taker is in Houston. He immediately unmasks and it’s Diamond Dallas Page to an ERUPTION. Yep they’re cheering a crazy stalker. He says Taker never saw this coming, just like a Diamond Cutter. Page talks about doing this because he wanted to make an impact, so he went after the biggest dog in the yard.

A few weeks ago, Taker went off on Austin for mentioning Taker’s family. Taker said he’d make Austin famous if he tried that. “You idiot, Steve Austin is already famous!” He says Taker is a liar for some reason so he wants to be famous and he wants to use Taker to get him there. He’ll be at King of the Ring. Security chases him off. Ross tries to tie it into the Invasion but it only kind of works.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Edge vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn is nuts still. We get a clip from a double date on Thursday and Saturn took another shot to the head. See it’s funny because he has brain damage and might go psycho and murder his wife and children before killing himself. Get it? Saturn starts fast and pops Christian but walks into an Edge-O-Matic for two. Edge is in control but Saturn grabs a crucifix for two. Edge goes up but jumps into a belly to belly suplex. Fisherman’s suplex gets two. Christian gets kicked in the face and the Impaler ends Saturn.

Rating: D+. Not great but WAY down from what we had been seeing so far tonight. Edge would be about to start his singles push which didn’t really stop for the rest of his career. Saturn just kept getting hit in the face until he found a mop that he liked better than Terri and that was about it.

Vince arrives, over halfway through the show.

Foley was on Regis and…..Tony Danza?

European Title: Matt Hardy vs. Albert

Albert was in the middle of pretty much the push of his life and he runs over Matt to start. A splash misses though and Matt can keep hitting and running. Matt jumps into a gorilla press attempt which he escapes and hits a running tornado DDT for two. Paul: “Albert is the Rabbi of Retribution.” JR: “Oy vey.” Albert destroys him until he chokes too long for a DQ. Weak.

Pac and Credible run in and hit a double superkick. Jeff runs in and takes them both down. Lita hits the usual gorgeous top rope rana. Albert gets back in it and destroys everyone.

Vince is with Austin and Austin feels good. Austin is getting in touch with his feelings and Vince isn’t wild on it. Austin rants about the divorce and says pick Austin or Linda.

During the break Vince left.

Spike thanks the Canadians for helping Molly last week. Benoit goes off on him, talking about how this wasn’t about him at all. And then they crack up laughing.

Edge and Rhyno get into an argument over who should be #1 contender if they win the tournament. Christian comes in and whines again.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Big Show vs. Christian

Angle is on commentary. Christian jumps him and just guess how well that goes. Edge tries to interfere which goes about as well. Show destroys him but they go to the announce table and Angle gets shoved for running his mouth. An Angle distraction allows the Conchairto to end Show and Christian puts all of Team RECK in the final four.

Steve Austin/Dudley Boys vs. Spike Dudley/Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Jericho vs. Bubba to start things off. Ray uses power to start but runs into the speed of Jericho. Off to Benoit and D-Von and the Canadian hits a German on the Dudley. Spike comes in with a double stomp and a rana to have D-Von in trouble. Here comes Austin to pound on Spike. Things finally calm down as Spike remembers he’s Spike and Austin remembers he’s Austin and the beating begins.

Austin calls for some tables but isn’t happy when they come out for some reason. Back to Bubba after Austin freaks due to getting rolled up for two. Bubba loads up What’s Up and both Austin and D-Von go up at the same time. That’s rather awesome. The middle rope backsplash misses and there’s the tag to Benoit. Everything breaks down and D-Von is sent through a table by Jericho.

Dudley Dog to Bubba and it’s time for the Canadian to hit Rolling Germans on the American. The Swan Dive misses though and Austin takes over. A Dudley Dog attempt results in Spike going through a table and Austin grabs a chair. Jericho comes back in for the save and we get the insanely awesome Walls of Crossface double submission to make Austin tap. Hebner asks about 4 times before calling for the bell.

Rating: C+. This was fine for a six man main event and most importantly, it made Jericho and Benoit look like a legit threat for the championship. Until then it was a bunch of fluke victories in tag matches. This was good stuff though as Austin looked like he was about to snap in that double hold.

Overall Rating: B. With all of the good to very good matches tonight, this was a pretty awesome Raw. Throw in that with the comedy from Austin and Vince and how can you go wrong? The DDP thing would be pretty underwhelming on Sunday but that’s life. Also very little mention of Angle vs. Shane, but the focus was on the tournament so that’s ok. Good show here.

Here’s King of the Ring if you’re interested:

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