Saturday Night’s Main Event #33
Date: July 15, 2006
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 17,343
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for another special, which is really code for a commercial for the Great American Bash and ultimately Summerslam. These shows don’t mean much in the days of Raw and Smackdown, but there is something about that name that makes it feel special. It helps that the card is fairly stacked so hopefully it works out. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are Hulk Hogan and his daughter Brooke (Lawler approves) to open things up. Brooke says it has always been her dream to be here with her dad. Hulk says thank goodness she looks like her mom and talks about being on the first ever Saturday Night’s Main Event. Cue Randy, with a rose, to interrupt. He says Hulk is the biggest legend anywhere and says Brooke is beautiful, even presenting her with the rose. Randy is a Hulkamaniac as well, so he would like to respectively challenge Hulk to a match at Summerslam. Hulk respectively accepts, but doesn’t seem to like how Randy is looking at Brooke. Short and to the point.

Video on Batista.

King Booker/Finlay/Mark Henry vs. Rey Mysterio/Bobby Lashley/Batista

Lashley sends Finlay into the corner to start and it’s a six man standoff as we take an early break. Back with Finlay slapping a chinlock on Rey before it’s quickly off to Booker. Various things start breaking down, allowing the Leprechaun to slip Finlay the shillelagh to deck Rey for two. Rey is fine enough to kick Henry down (oh dear) but the referee doesn’t see the hot tag to Batista. Booker comes in but Rey dives between their legs and NOW the hot tag brings in Batista. House is cleaned and it’s a 619 to Booker, setting up the Batista Bomb for the pin.

Rating: C-. And that’s going to be Henry’s last televised match for about ten months as Henry completely destroyed his knee (the patella was split completely in two) so forget about Batista’s big revenge. The injury shook things up a lot as you can only get so much out of the good guys being up 3-2, but they did what they could. They did what they could, and it could have been a lot worse.

Vince McMahon gives the Spirit Squad a pep talk but DX takes over the audio, turning it into Vince giving the team spanking instructions.

We see highlights of the first round of Diva Bull Riding from earlier today. Victoria and Michelle McCool made the finals.

Melina/Johnny Nitro vs. Carlito/Trish Stratus

The men start but Nitro tags Melina in, meaning Trish has to do the same (come in, not tag Melina). Nitro trips Trish down early on and Melina adds a thumb to the eye (JR: “You wouldn’t see Meredith Vieira doing something like that.”), setting up a double hair takedown. That bangs up Melina as well so it’s a double tag to the men as everything breaks down. The women fight to the floor and the Backstabber gives Carlito the fast pin. This was really rushed so it didn’t have the chance to go anywhere.

Earlier today, Kevin Von Erich got to make a quick appearance. Nothing wrong with the local legend.

Spirit Squad vs. D-Generation X

Non-title elimination tag and there is a cell on either side of the ring for eliminated members. Shawn says the following thrashing of five male cheerleaders is brought to you by DX, and if you’re not down with that, catchphrase. Shawn gets taken into the corner to start but he manages to grab the megaphone and clean some house. The Squad bails to the floor for a huddle, which HHH breaks up with an air horn. Back in and Shawn superkicks Mitch for the first elimination.

Back from a break with HHH getting rid of Johnny with a spinebuster. Shawn chases Kenny up to the stage, where Vince gets in a chair shot to put Shawn in trouble. They head back to the ring where Shawn suplexes his way out of a sleeper. It’s off to HHH to clean house, including another spinebuster. A double clothesline sets up the Pedigree to get rid of Nicky and it’s 2-2. The superkick gets rid of Mikey and it’s a top rope elbow, followed by Sweet Chin Music into the Pedigree to complete the shutout.

Rating: D. You could say this about any match involving these two sides, but what were you expecting? It’s a pair of the best of all time against five goons. It’s almost a miracle that the Squad lasted this long and it isn’t hard to believe that Shawn and HHH could dispatch them this fast. There was no reason to believe this would be a competitive match and it wasn’t but it also wasn’t anything more than a DX workout session.

Post match Vince tries to unlock the cage but Shawn superkicks him inside with the rest of the Squad.

Video on Sabu.

Here are Great Khali and Daivari for a chat. Daivari talks about how awesome Khali is….and here are Big Show and Paul Heyman to interrupt. Show lists off his size and resume and says one day they’ll have to see who the real giant is. That’s for later though, as he wants to put Khali over tonight. He brings up the Punjabi Prison match but here’s Undertaker to interrupt. Undertaker goes after Khali and clotheslines him to the floor before going after Show. Khali gets back in and a double chokeslam leaves Undertaker laying.

Post break, Big Show says Undertaker can come face him on ECW if he has the guts.

Stevie Richards vs. Sabu

Extreme Rules. Sabu wastes no time in throwing a chair at Richards, setting up the Triple Jump Moonsault for two. Richards misses a charge in the corner and gets laid on a table, setting up the….flying something with a chair kind of in the same area to drive Richards through an already broken table for the pin. This was vintage WWECW: take away any story, feud, reason for these two for fighting and the character that made Richards work and have a match with weapons for the sake of having weapons, because that’s all ECW was about.

We get Brooke Hogan’s About Us music video.

Randy Orton is talking to Brooke Hogan in the parking lot but Hulk comes in to break that up. The Hogans go to leave but Orton runs back in with an RKO onto the trunk to leave Hulk laying.

Michelle McCool wins the Diva Bull Riding contest. Much like the Diva Search, it’s an excuse to have the Divas in various outfits doing various things that involve a lot of shaking.

Video on John Cena losing the Raw World Title to Rob Van Dam, who lost it to Edge, setting up tonight’s title match (which isn’t a triple threat for Van Dam’s title because Van Dam screwed up).

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Edge is defending and has Lita with him. We get the Big Match Intros and Edge drops straight to the floor, only to have Cena cut him off in a hurry. Edge low bridges him to the floor though and we take an early break. Back with Edge hammering away in the corner and loading up a superplex, only to slip off the ropes and crash down hard. The referee makes sure they’re both alive and Edge gets two off a big boot. Cena pops up and initiates the finishing sequence but Lita pulls the referee out. The referee is down and Edge misses a spear, setting up the STFU. Lita slaps the referee to send him back inside to call the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was nothing with barely five minutes factoring out the commercial. The biggest problem was the time, which only gave them a chance for one memorable deal, which wound up being Edge nearly killing both of them (it was just a slip). They’re destined for the real match at Summerslam so for now, this worked out fine for the “we’re out of time but here’s what we promised” main event.

Cena celebrates but thankfully understands what the word DISQUALIFICATION means and immediately knows he didn’t win the title. That’s not cool with Cena, who hits a pretty good looking FU off the steps and through the announcers’ table.

Overall Rating: D. Completely skippable show here and you can see how unimportant this series has become. There is no need for some big special when you have the same thing done every Monday and Friday night. The wrestling wasn’t important, the Undertaker appearance was to set up a guest star spot on ECW and there was a bull riding contest for obvious reasons. Nothing to see here, and thankfully WWE/NBC seemed to understand that, as the next one wasn’t for almost a year.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 3, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,993
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Then Rob Van Dam and Sabu got pulled over and the police found a bunch of drugs, meaning they had to be punished. This is quite the problem when you’re the WWE Champion and have a title defense coming up in a few weeks. Tonight will probably deal with the fallout so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s DX’s parody and their most recent humiliation of the McMahons.

DX arrives in the parking lot and is greeted by Jonathan Coachman and a bunch of security guards. Vince McMahon has barred them from appearing on the show tonight and Shawn Michaels wants to know what they’re supposed to do tonight. HHH has an idea and the team walks away. I have a bad feeling about this.

Opening sequence.

Here are Edge and Lita for an opening chat. Edge promises that he is going to own the summer and tomorrow night, he is getting his shot against Rob Van Dam. Then it’s on to Saturday Night’s Main Event where he will defend against Van Dam and John Cena. Those two are like the Philadelphia Phillies and the Philadelphia Eagles, with various insults ensuing. For tonight though, Lita is going to show Torrie Wilson what a cover girl is supposed to look like and Edge is in a triple threat tag team match.

Edge is about to announce his partner but here’s Cena to beat him up. Cue Van Dam, who has heard about how close he was to tapping out. He’s a fighting champion, so Cena can have a title shot tonight. Edge says that’s not fair because he would lose his title shot tomorrow night if Cena wins. That’s cool with Van Dam, so let’s do Saturday Night’s Main Event tonight with a triple threat title match. Edge promises that the next WWE Champion will be Rated R, but Van Dam says the next champion will be Rated RVD. Maybe he does need the suspension to clear his head a bit.

Vince McMahon arrives in the back with Coach greeting him. DX is indeed gone, much to Vince’s approval. The two of them walk inside….and DX drives up in a convertible with women in the back. Where did they get the car?

Batista is back this Friday.

Lita vs. Torrie Wilson

Lita suplexes her down for two to start and gets the same off a Russian legsweep. A knee to the back lets Lita mock her a bit so Torrie slaps her in the face. The comeback is on with some clotheslines but the referee takes the Stink Face by mistake. Lita DDTs her to end the annoyance.

Vince yells at Coach about making sure DX is gone. It feels like a ghost town around here and Vince wants to know what is going on.

Spirit Squad vs. Eugene/Jim Duggan/Viscera/Val Venis/Gene Snitsky

What a horrible assortment of losers, but at least they have the matching cheerleader uniforms. Nicky and Venis start things off and some cheap shots from the apron have Val in early trouble. A suplex allows Venis to make the tag off to Eugene but Johnny comes in off the blind tag to kick him down.

It’s off to Kenny for a jumping back elbow and Mitch comes in for the cover. The rotating beatdown ensues until Kenny misses a splash in the corner. The hot tag brings in Snitsky to clean house as everything breaks down. Duggan gets a rather strong reaction but is sent outside in a hurry. A top rope legdrop/Swanton combination finishes Snitsky.

Rating: D. There’s only so much you can get out of this but it’s the kind of thing that the Squad needed after so many bad losses. The menagerie of numskulls getting to lose to the Squad doesn’t have anything else going on so this wasn’t quite the devastating defeat. It’s going to give the Squad a bit of a push to their next loss to DX though so this is as good as it’s going to get for them at the moment.

We go back to the parking lot where DX is having a 4^th of July bash with Shawn working the grill and the women nearby. We get various hot dog jokes about McMahon and DX, but HHH sees Mr. Fuji over there. Shawn: “I LOVE MR. FUJI!” Shawn goes over to see him so HHH has some women come up and flash a WWE bus driver (with the camera not doing the best job of covering things up as the girls walk off). Shawn comes back and is disappointed by the lack of Mr. Fuji. As for the Spirit Squad, they can come out here and take their beating whenever they like.

Highlanders vs. Rob Conway/Matt Striker

Rory headbutts Striker down to start and hammers away in the corner, complete with putting his kilt over Striker’s face. Robbie come in for a Junkyard Dog style headbutt to Conway, who has to suplex his way to freedom. Striker is good without coming back in though, leaving Conway to take the Scot Drop (double fireman’s carry into a faceplant) for the pin. Short and inoffensive as a way to get the team’s feet wet.

Candice Michelle comes up to HHH as Shawn is off in the TV production truck. HHH seems to have some issues standing and then Candice has the same problem. Various issues ensue, complete with Candice shouting YES over and over. They both seem rather relieved and two women pop up from underneath the table. That’s rather risque for this era.

Post break, Shawn tells HHH to come into the control truck, with Candice and the other two girls going with them. There are cameras all over the arena and after having the women get to know one of the production guys over there, Shawn sits down and starts pushing buttons. The feed goes out but they’re still on the air.

Vince goes to the restroom and of course there is a camera in there, which of course WWE has access to. Vince gives commentary (Andre the Giant is mentioned) but Coach comes in to say that Vince is on camera (with Coach’s leg being moistened), freaking the boss out.

Post break here is Vince in the ring to talk about how humiliating last week is. DX is out there in the parking lot with their barbecue but now they are humiliating him and that’s too much. The mic cuts out and we get some noises, as Vince isn’t happy again.

Vince’s voice is suddenly very high pitched before going to the other direction, with Vince saying he sounds like Darth Vader. Then we get a picture of a rooster drawn on screen, with a word balloon saying “I LOVE COCKS”. HHH’s voice comes over the loud speaker and he says DX can humiliate him even further….so we see last week’s human waste drop again. Vince tells Coach to go deal with this so we see Shawn knocking Coach down with the door of the production truck.

The livid Vince makes DX vs. the Spirit Squad in an elimination tag. That sounds like a very bad idea and the laughter sound effects seem to agree. Then we get crickets instead of Vince’s music, which starts up a few seconds later….and is soon replaced by Stand Back. As funny as this kind of thing is going to get and was a long way around to set up a match that sounds like it should be a Raw main event.

Intercontinental Title: Johnny Nitro vs. Carlito

Nitro is defending and we get some extensive replays of Melina’s entrance. Carlito is taken into the corner to start and Nitro claims a poke to the eye before getting in a cheap shot. The dancing legdrop sets up the chinlock as Lawler talks about Melina’s maracas. Carlito fights up without much trouble with a clothesline and the springboard back elbow. The Backstabber connects but Melina comes in for the DQ.

Post match here’s Trish to start the catfight with Carlito standing back and watching. More replays, this time of Trish running to the ring and the brawl, ensue.

Paul Heyman isn’t sure about Rob Van Dam doing this but Van Dam believes in himself and ECW. Van Dam leaves and Heyman gives him that Brock Lesnar/Big Show Survivor Series 2002 look.

We meet the Diva Search finalists, including Maryse, Layla, Milena (Rosa Mendes) and various others.

Vince doesn’t care about Coach being banged up because he’s leaving and wants Coach to get the limo ready.

Umaga vs. Scott Wright

DX interrupts Armando Alejandro Estrada’s promo with a merchandise plug. Umaga would be a better enforcer for Vince than the Spirit Squad. The Samoan Spike finishes Wright in a little over a minute.

Post match, DX interrupts Estrada’s promo again, this time with various sound effects.

Vince gets in the limo….and a bunch of fireworks go off from it, complete with green smoke. After the driver pulls Vince, covered in smoke and green paint, DX pops up with American flags and sparklers. Happy Fourth of July.

This Week In Wrestling: the NWO debuts.

Here’s Randy Orton for a chat. He was inspired by the NWO video, but not as excited as he was by Brooke Hogan’s music video last week. That would be Hulk Hogan’s 18 year old daughter mind you. Hulk is going to pick Brooke’s date on an upcoming episode of Hogan Knows Best, and if Orton gets to be the pick, he’ll show Brooke why he’s a legend. Oh dear.

Edge says he’s going to win a title, unlike Philadelphia.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is defending and Edge gets double teamed in the corner to start. Rob and Cena start taking turns, with Van Dam hitting a running spinwheel kick in the corner. Edge gets tossed outside and we take an early break. Back with Edge breaking up Van Dam’s superplex attempt on Cena, who crashes out to the floor. The cartwheel moonsault gives Van Dam two on Edge but Cena pulls Edge outside for a whip into the steps. Rob is right there with a dive onto Cena but Edge is back in to break up the FU on Van Dam.

Cena loads up Edge in a suplex until Van Dam takes both of them down. A double clothesline puts all three down and it’s a three way slugout from their knees. Rob is sent outside and Cena initiates the finishing sequence on Edge. The FU puts Edge on the floor so Lita brings in a chair, earning herself an FU of her own. Van Dam is back in with the Van Daminator to Cena but the Five Star misses. There’s the FU to Van Dam but Edge is in with a belt shot to Cena for the pin on Van Dam and the title.

Rating: B. They kept things moving here and the match was better than I would have bet on as a result. Above all else they weren’t out there too long with the match only running about eleven minutes. Edge winning is quite the big moment and it’s the first time the title has changed hands on Raw since 2001. Good match here, as Van Dam’s main event push loses a leg in a single night.

Cut to a STUNNED Cena fan for a great visual as Edge celebrates (with Lita still down) to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Aside from the main event, which I liked quite a bit, this was a one note show with the entire night being about DX vs. Vince. That doesn’t exactly make for the best night, though there were at least some funny jokes. It isn’t a good feud because DX feels like they’re toying with Vince and the Spirit Squad, but it hasn’t gone on long enough to completely overstay its welcome. This week used up a lot of that mileage though, as this was a pretty rough show.

As for the title change, I’m not sure how much longer Van Dam was going to be champion anyway, as his title reign seemed to be little more than a way to warm up the debuting ECW. I can’t imagine him making it all the way to Summerslam as champion so there is a good chance that the title change would have gone the same way at Saturday Night’s Main Event. Either way, Van Dam looks like a moron for screwing up the biggest push of his career and it’s pretty hard to feel sorry for him.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 26, 2006
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Vengeance and a grand total of pretty much nothing happened on the show. Other than Johnny Nitro winning the Intercontinental Title, it was one of the least important shows that WWE has put on in a very long time. We do have something important tonight though, as John Cena gets his rematch against Rob Van Dam for the WWE Title. Let’s get to it.

Here is Vengeance if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

JR and King run down the card.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

Trish is challenging in her first match since Backlash when she badly injured her shoulder. Mickie goes right for the shoulder to start but Trish is out in a hurry. The threat of a hammerlock is countered into some right hands to the head and a spinebuster gives Trish two. A hurricanrana gives Trish two but Mickie kicks her in the face. The MickieDT retains the title in a hurry. Mickie spent almost as much time adjusting her top as she did fighting.

Post match here are Johnny Nitro and Melina, with Lawler being VERY glad to see Melina. Mickie leaves and Melina gives some insincere praise for the comeback match. Nitro is the only man holding singles gold on Raw and Trish is looking at the new top Diva in WWE. Trish goes after her but Nitro grabs Trish, drawing out Carlito for the save.

Post break, Carlito is ranting about Nitro when Trish comes up to thank him. Carlito rants in Spanish, which Trish agrees with in the form of “right, right.” Anyway she thanks him again and, in regards to the question on his short (spit or swallow), she whispers something in his ear, which he enthusiastically declares cool. Lawler is rather pleased by that result.

We look at DX tormenting Vince McMahon last week.

The Spirit Squad is ranting to Vince and Shane McMahon, but the latter tells them to watch tonight as the McMahons take care of DX.

We get some fan picks for Cena vs. Van Dam tonight.

Umaga vs. Kamala

This was set up after Umaga beat Eugene and had a staredown with Umaga. Armando Alejandro Estrada and Kim Chee are here too. Kamala chops away to start but gets knocked down, setting up the running hip attack in the corner to crush Kim Cheer for a bonus. The middle rope headbutt sets up the Samoan Spike to end the complete squash.

We go to the Diva Search casting special, featuring the Miz as emcee and Ashley Massaro as the big speaker. The Divas dance a lot and we see Brooke Adams, Layla El, Rosa Mendes and Maryse, none of whom are named. The finalists are out here tonight.

Here’s Torrie Wilson to unveil the summer Divas magazine. Believe it or not, the cover to the swimsuit magazine with Torrie Wilson is Torrie Wilson in a swimsuit. Cue Edge and Lita to interrupt and throw Torrie out in a hurry. Edge says he should be the star of the show and on the cover of magazines (the swimsuit may be implied). He should be the star around here and the fact that Rob Van Dam is defending against John Cena tonight is a joke.

If Edge doesn’t get a rematch, they’re leaving Raw. The fans think they suck so Edge and Lita leave through the crowd. Hold on though as they do stop by the merchandise stand where Edge takes his shirt (which should be in the center). They’re out the door, shirts in hand.

Here’s a banged up John Cena to talk about how One Night Stand wasn’t his finest hour. He could just storm through off with shirts under his arm or he could fight and earn a rematch. Tonight, he takes care of business.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Viscera/Val Venis

It’s the return of Cade/Murdoch, who were a decent team while they originally lasted. Cade hammers Venis down to start but Venis gets in a right hand to the face. It’s off to Murdoch via a hot tag and an atomic drop into a big boot has Venis down again. Cue Charlie Haas to talk to Lilian Garcia and that’s not cool with Viscera. The hot tag brings in Viscera and house is cleaned in a hurry but Charlie kisses Lilian, allowing Cade and Murdoch to finish with a High/Low (which we only see on the replay).

Rating: D. The match was just there for the sake of the angle, as you might be trying to find out why Viscera, Lilian Garcia and Charlie Haas are getting a story. Points enough for trying something out of an accident if nothing else, though I’m not sure how many miles they can get out of something like this.

We see Brooke Hogan’s music video for About Us.

Randy Orton liked what he saw in said video.

Shane McMahon is so excites for the match against DX that he hits some furniture with a baseball bat.

Here’s HHH, as Vince McMahon, for a chat. HHH says he’s going to come out here and ramble incoherently before DX takes him the McMahons tonight. It will be more embarrassing than having his pants taken down, than losing to Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania, or even than the XFL (that gets a gasp). Last week, DX sent him a rooster, suggesting that he loves cocks. In reality, he loves great men like Dick Ebersol, Dick Chaney and Dick Clark. He loves them of any size, shape and color. HHH: “I’ll even do an Asian!”

Cue Shane McMahon, as played by Shawn Michaels, meaning it’s a lot of dancing as HHH does the Vince ear pull. Shawn says he is the product of Vince’s semen. He even has it on his business card. He brings up Vince’s eventual death, which sets off another round of dancing. HHH: “Son, are you mildly retarded?” HHH says Shane must be mistaken because Stephanie is getting all of Vince’s money. HHH: “Stephanie and that guy who knocked her up.”

After hearing about what a stud that guy must be, Shawn talks about how he just needs one more shot and he’s so excited that he has to dance. HHH yells in his face to stop, sending Shawn straight down. Actually dancing doesn’t sound like a bad idea, so hit that STAND BACK. This goes on for a long time but the Hulk Hogan bass solo is enough to bring out the real Vince and Shane.

Cue the Spirit Squad to join the McMahons for the beatdown, but never mind because DX drops a bunch of human waste on them (apparently it smells bad). HHH: “Don’t worry: because of Shawn, it’s holy s***.” JR: “It’s indescribable what DX has done to the McMahons!” You mean when they imitated them and then dropped fake human waste on them? The parody was funny for a bit but went on too long. Then the other stuff…..just wasn’t, as always.

We look at Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair from Vengeance, with Flair being left beaten and bloody.

Flair, from is home in Charlotte, says that everything Foley did last night was proof that everything Flair wrote about him was true. Vengeance is sworn and Flair was all fired up here.

Paul Heyman talks to Rob Van Dam because he’s worried about the title match against Cena. Tonight it’s under WWE rules in a WWE ring with a WWE referee. Rob says it’s cool and he’s got this.

More fans give their Cena vs. Van Dam picks.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Kane powers him into the corner to start but Orton gets in a shot to the face and two off a dropkick. A big boot and running clothesline in the corner rock Orton, setting up the top rope clothesline. Kane loads up the chokeslam but here’s Costume Kane, who Kane jumps in the aisle and knocks down. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match that was more about the angle than anything else. Orton continues to be on a roll but there is only so much you can do with Kane vs. a fake Kane. The pay per view match wasn’t good in the first place so keeping the thing going doesn’t exactly sound great. Though at least it isn’t more See No Evil.

Post match Kane is back up and chokeslams Costume Kane twice in the ring and one more time on the stage. Kane drags him to the back and then to the back. Post break, Kane unmasks him (showing the bald head of Luke Gallows, though we don’t see the face) and throws him outside. If I remember right, the original plan was to say that Costume Kane was the real version and the one we had seen was a fake, but thankfully they realized that would have been even dumber than what we got so take the small wins where you can.

We see the Tough Enough finalists being selected (including a quick look at the Bella Twins). Brooke Adams is cut but Maryse makes it (there’s something awesome about Miz meeting his future wife being shown like this).

We look at Rob Van Dam winning the WWE Title from John Cena at One Night Stand under less than fair circumstances.

The Highlanders use a public restroom. Hilarity ensues and they debut next week.

Raw World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging and slugs away to start. Rob gets in a kick and heads up top, only to be shoved down hard in a crash as we take a break. Back with Rob fighting out of a chinlock and starting the slugout. That goes to Cena as well but this time Rob kicks him off the top instead. There’s the flip to the floor to drop Cena again and Rob hits a legdrop for two back inside. It’s time for a chair but Cena scores with the hard clothesline into the running shoulders.

The ProtoBomb into the Five Knuckle Shuffle looks to set up the FU but Rob slips out and hits a kick to the head. They slug it out again with Rob hitting another kick to the face, setting up a German suplex for two on Cena. The split legged moonsault gets the same and there’s the top rope kick to the face. Cena rolls away before the Five Star can launch and then gets his knees up to block Rolling Thunder. The FU sets up the STFU but Edge runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They did what they could here and Cena was showing the fire that made him feel like a bigger star. The ending was a good way out if they weren’t going to change the title, but it didn’t exactly help Van Dam look like a star. Then again, just being champion doesn’t make Van Dam a bigger star than Cena and being beaten until Edge comes in is hardly some death sentence.

Post match Edge says he’ll see Van Dam tomorrow and leaves through the crowd.

Overall Rating: C. This was good enough but there are some things that aren’t exactly making me look forward to the future. Above all else, there is the Diva Search, which is going to be around for the next two months and bring the show to a grinding halt. I guess they need new models though. Other than that, Cena was showing fire and they are starting to plant seeds for Summerslam, but some of these things are not exactly making me interested in seeing where things are going. Not terrible, but the future isn’t looking bright.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Vengeance 2006
Date: June 25, 2006
Location: Charlotte Bobcats Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 6,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for another Raw pay per view but this time around we have ECW invading as WWE continues to try to turn it into something again. This time around that means Edge challenging ECW/WWE Champion Rob Van Dam and John Cena vs. Sabu in an EXTREME Lumberjack match. I’m not sure how EXTREME you can make a lumberjack match but maybe Cena can make it work. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about vengeance meaning retaliation for an injustice and looks at all three of the big matches tonight, including the reunited DX vs. the Spirit Squad. I think you know what is getting the focus tonight.

Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Lawler: “Tonight is about vengeance for Orton!” JR: “Touche.” They also mention that Orton’s Smackdown contract expired while he was recovering from his broken ankle, which is why he’s on Raw. I don’t think that has been mentioned before but I do appreciate closing a minor plot hole. Angle chases him into the ropes to start and then does it again for a bonus. A hammerlock into a rollup gives Angle two but the threat of the ankle lock sends Orton to the ropes again.

Angle again teases the German suplex to the floor before settling for a belly to back suplex on the floor instead. Back in and Angle smacks him in the back of the head over and over but Orton pokes him in the eye. A dropkick lets Orton throw him outside, followed by a whip into the barricade. The chinlock goes on back inside with Orton throwing his feet on the ropes like a true villain should. A pair of knee drops set up another chinlock as the crowd goes almost eerily silent.

Orton goes up top for no apparent reason other than to let Angle run the ropes for the belly to belly superplex (and dang did he get up there fast). The Angle Slam is countered into the backbreaker so Orton goes to unhook the turnbuckle pad. That takes too long though as Angle rolls eight straight German suplexes for his own near fall. The ankle lock is broken up and Orton gets the rest of the pad off. Now Angle picks the ankle but Orton rolls him into the buckle, setting up the RKO for the pin.

Rating: C+. It was a good enough match but you would have expected something else. Instead it was a pretty run of the mill match that would have been good as the feature match on Raw, making it an acceptable enough pay per view match. The ending should set up a trilogy match but it wasn’t exactly an instant classic.

Vince McMahon is on the phone and promises that the Spirit Squad will have their vengeance. A fan in a wheelchair comes in…..but he’s wearing a DX shirt so Vince thinks he’s a spy. Vince shoves him out the door and we hear a rather loud crash. Cue Coach with the special pump from Monday but he also asks if Vince can say hello to a family friend of his. He’s a kid in a wheelchair and he’ll probably be in it for the rest of his life. Vince gulps in an obvious yet funny payoff.

Umaga vs. Eugene

Before the match, Armando Alejandro Estrada says you can call all of the heroes you want, even AQUAMAN, and they won’t be able to stop Umaga. Jim Duggan, Doink the Clown and Umaga are here with Eugene. The USA chant starts and Doink sprays Umaga with a squirt gun so Eugene can hammer away. That’s it for the offense as Umaga kicks him down, hits the running hip attack, and finishes with the Spike in a hurry.

Post match Umaga wrecks the legends but Estrada says no to a fight with Kamala. Save it for Raw I guess.

Mick Foley cuts off Tod Grisham from stealing his cheap pop and has a quick public reading from Ric Flair’s novel. By that he means autobiography, but this all has to be fiction. Foley reads the section about himself, with Flair saying the hardcore stuff doesn’t make Foley a great wrestler, but rather a glorified stuntman. Tonight, Foley promises to add a new chapter to Flair’s novel: “How I Was Outwrestled By Mick Foley!”

Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair

2/3 falls. The fans are all over Foley, as you knew they would be. They trade arm work to start with Flair getting the better of it, as you would have probably expected. Back up and Foley unloads with right hands in the corner, followed by the double arm DDT. It’s time for the Ric Flair inspired Mr. Socko (it has feathers) but Flair grabs him low for the break. Flair even hits the top rope ax handle to the back but wrenches the knee on the way down. The leg is wrapped around the ropes and Foley tries a Figure Four but gets small packaged for the first fall.

Flair tries it again to start the second fall but they head outside instead, with Foley going knees first into the steps. A quick trip into the crowd goes badly for Flair and Foley rakes the eyes. Foley whips out a trashcan but gets caught in the Figure Four. The trashcan to the head breaks the hold but draws the DQ to give Flair the win in two straight falls.

Rating: D. I’ve never really liked this feud and this match didn’t change that opinion very much. This was rushed and mostly one sided, though the more confusing part was Foley talking about how he was going to try and have the worst match of his career and then being all serious and wrestling straight to start. It’s like they just dropped what they mentioned on Raw and that made things a little weird. The match wasn’t going to be good either way given the circumstances, but it should have been better than this.

Post match Foley finds the barbed wire baseball bat and busts Flair open badly.

Maria asks Carlito why people who try to be cool are the ones who aren’t cool and the ones who don’t try to be cool wind up being cool. Carlito: “I don’t know what you just said.” Then Torrie Wilson shows up in a swimsuit and Maria rubs oil on her for obvious reasons. Torrie reciprocates and Carlito is annoyed at his music playing.

Intercontinental Title: Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Johnny Nitro

Benjamin is defending and Carlito is rather flustered during his entrance. Melina is here with Nitro and accidentally distracts him at the bell, allowing Carlito to throw Nitro outside. Shelton is right on Carlito with a clothesline for two but Carlito rolls him up for the same. A headbutt has Shelton on the mat as Nitro comes back in, only to be sent outside again just as fast. Nitro gets back in again and hammers on Shelton but a catapult from Carlito sends him outside for a third time.

Carlito’s dive has to be abandoned and Nitro trips the leg to send him face first into the apron. With Nitro and Shelton fighting on the floor, Carlito hits a double springboard flip dive to take both of them out in a big crash. Back in and Nitro spins into a Russian legsweep for two on Carlito but he grabs a hurricanrana to put Nitro down. Shelton is back with a pop up faceplant to Carlito and there’s a Samoan drop for two, with Nitro making the save. Nitro gets dropped face first onto the top turnbuckle for two but he’s right back with a monkey flip to send Shelton into Carlito’s dropkick for two.

Carlito gets crotched on top and Shelton crotches Nitro into the Tree of Woe. Shelton jumps to the top for a superplex but Nitro pulls himself up for a German superplex out of the Tree of Woe for a Tower of Doom. Lawler doesn’t know what to call that, but he does know that he would have called it better than Tazz. Carlito hits a springboard double back elbow for two each and Nitro is sent outside. The Backstabber hits Shelton but Nitro pulls Carlito outside to steal the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. I can’t blame them for putting the title on Nitro as he is about all you could ask for in a midcard star. Throw in how much better Melina makes him and this was a pretty easy choice over Shelton, who has been stuck in limbo for a long time and Carlito, who only shows flashes of star power. Pretty good match too, with everyone moving at a fast pace.

The Spirit Squad is ready to destroy DX and here’s Vince to say no one makes a fool out of them. Tonight, they’re going to rid the world of DX like bird flu. With the Squad gone, Vince takes the pump from earlier and goes into the bathroom. He comes out a few seconds later with green paint on his face. Lawler: “We just witness a booby trapped penis pump!”

We recap Rob Van Dam becoming Mr. Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania and winning the title at One Night Stand, thanks to Edge. Tonight, Edge gets his shot.

Raw World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Edge

Edge is challenging and has Lita with him. Before the match, Edge insults the Carolina Hurricanes hockey team for needing Canadians to win it for them. Edge goes with a quick takedown to start and even mocks the finger point. Van Dam tries a monkey flip out of the corner but Edge sticks the landing. Some kicks miss as well so Rob rolls him up for two instead. Another takedown sets up a standing moonsault for two and Edge pauses for a second.

The threat of Rolling Thunder sends Edge bailing to the floor so Van Dam hits a moonsault off the barricade. Lita offers a distraction though, allowing Edge to hit a sunset bomb to the floor (THUD, off a nasty landing). Back in and Lawler can’t shut up about Lita, sending JR into one of his great “is that all you think about” rants. Edge cranks on both arms at once but gets kicked to the apron, setting up a running crossbody to the floor.

The spinning kick to the back only hits barricade though and Edge powerbombs him into the barricade to make it much worse. Edge says on the back like a good villain and hits a big boot for two. Van Dam kicks away as well to get a breather though and a German suplex gives the champ two. Edge gets the same off a powerslam but Rob kicks him down again.

The split legged moonsault gives Van Dam two but he kicks the referee down by mistake. With no referee, Edge calls for the belt, which is kicked into his face. Van Dam gets crotched on top though, and the slightly busted open Edge hits a hanging DDT for a very delayed two. The spear is loaded up so Lita holds up a chair behind Rob for no logical reason. Edge spears it by mistake and Van Dam hits the Five Star to retain.

Rating: B-. Another good but not exactly memorable match here. These two can have a solid match together and they did so here, but the ending wasn’t great as there was little reason or Lita to put that chair up. The story was fine with Edge working the back throughout and it was good to give Van Dam his first major title defense, but not exactly an instant classic.

The ECW guys celebrate but here’s Paul Heyman to say there is one match to go. Tonight it’s the EXTREME lumberjack match but Vince McMahon has ruled that there will be an equal number of Raw lumberjacks. Heyman gives them the big pep talk and chanting ensues.

Kane vs. Impostor Kane

Real Kane slugs away to start and a clothesline puts Fake Kane over the top, where he lands on his feet. Back in and Fake chokes away in the corner but Real hits a shoulder and goes for the mask. The side slam gets Fake out of trouble and he hammers away, followed by a forearm to the chest for two. A powerslam gets the same and it’s already off to the chinlock.

With that broken up, the chokeslam attempt is countered with a rake to the face and Real hits a running DDT. Real unloads in the corner into some running clotheslines and a side slam as the fans want the mask removed. Real’s chokeslam is countered so he kicks Fake in the mask and goes up. The clothesline is countered into the chokeslam though to give Fake the pin.

Rating: D. Well that happened. I’m still not sure what the point of this is and I’m still not sure WWE does either, but the visual should have caught your eye. I know Kane needed a freshening up at this point but you would think they might have had something better than “here’s another Kane”. It was a fine enough power match, but the story itself has been rather lacking.

We recap John Cena vs. Sabu. Cena is hated by the ECW fans and Sabu attacked him to show what ECW is all about. Cena likes this new style so let’s have a lumberjack match.

Sabu vs. John Cena

EXTREME lumberjack match. Sabu jumps him to start as Cena is transfixed by the thought of Roadkill vs. Val Venis. Cena gets in a few shots to knock Sabu outside but this time it’s Sabu sending him outside so the lumberjacks can get in their shots. Sandman even canes Cena in the head and the triple jump moonsault gives Sabu two. The camel clutch is broken up in a hurry and Sabu kicks him low.

The triple jump legdrop gives Sabu two, followed by the Arabian Facebuster for the same. Air Sabu only hits corner though and it’s time for the lumberjacks to get in their big fight. Cena goes outside to join them until a chair shot takes him down. They can’t keep Cena on a table though as he grabs the kendo stick to knock Sabu silly. Cena pelts the chair at Sabu’s head and there’s the FU through the table at ringside. The STFU makes Sabu tap.

Rating: D+. The crowd helped this one a lot and Cena did what he could with what he was given. Sabu is an ECW legend but there is only so much value to him outside of ECW in 2006. You can’t have Cena lose to Sabu in this spot and that never felt like a possibility, making this about as good as it was going to get all things considered.

Post match Cena goes to the back and runs into Rob Van Dam, who acknowledges Cena’s guts. Van Dam says Cena can have his rematch for the spinner belt on Raw. Cena says the title is his life so he’ll see Van Dam tomorrow.

We recap DX vs. the Spirit Squad. It started with Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon back in December when Shawn told Vince to let Montreal go already. Vince swore vengeance and eventually brought in the Squad to take care of things. This included getting HHH to help, eventually leading to DX reuniting to fight off the Squad and torment Vince with some HILARIOUS jokes. Tonight is the showdown.

D-Generation X vs. Spirit Squad

Non-title. Mitch and Shawn start things off with Shawn easily taking him down and walking over Mitch’s back. A few right hands put Shawn into the corner but he reverses Mitch and chops away some more. Shawn has to fight out of the Squad’s corner so HHH comes in to start cleaning house without much trouble. Johnny is busted open so he comes in anyway and does a karate pose. HHH punches him down anyway and hits the crotch chop knee drop.

There’s a hard Irish whip into the corner and Shawn crotches Mikey against the post. The legs are wrapped around the post as well (JR: “His knees are broken, his package is bruised.”) The Squad finally gets HHH outside though and there’s a group whip into the steps to take over. A neckbreaker gets HHH out of trouble though and it’s back to Shawn to clean house.

Johnny manages a spinning kick to the face though and the numbers game starts putting Shawn in trouble. There’s a chair to the face to put Shawn down again and a trampoline bulldog gives Mikey two. Kenny comes in to hammer away and then launches Nicky into the corner for two more off a splash. A double flapjack gets another two and we hit a chinlock from Kenny.

The nearly required double clothesline puts them both down but it’s way too early for the hot tag to HHH. A double DDT gets Shawn out of trouble and NOW it’s back to HHH to start cleaning house. Right hands and spinebusters abound but Nicky saves Kenny from the Pedigree. Mikey’s trampoline flip dive takes out his partners by mistake and it’s a Pedigree/superkick for the stereo pins.

Rating: C-. What else were you expecting? I’m really not sure what else to say here and how could you have had any other expectations coming in? You have the pretty good Kenny and four other guys against two legends who work well together. What else could this have been given the circumstances? The Spirit Squad is little more than an annoyance and DX treated them as just that here. Why would I need to see something like this again?

Post match DX beats up the rest of the Squad and Mitch gets to join HHH’s club (what a visual). Vince comes out to say he’ll see DX tomorrow night to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. And now you probably never have to think about this show again. This is by no means a bad show or anywhere close to one, but it is the kind of show where it felt like it took place because they were required to put one on. That doesn’t make for the most thrilling of events and while there are some nice matches, nothing on here is worth going out of your way to see and nothing is even very good. Totally skippable show and one of the more forgettable WWE has put on in a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 19, 2006
Location: Blue Cross Arena, Rochester, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Vengeance but at the same time, it is still a show about building up ECW, which only debuted last week. I’m not sure how well that is going to go, but ECW is angry at Raw for invading their debut. An angry ECW could reach the level of moderately annoying so Raw might be slightly irritated. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Vince McMahon is in his office to open things up and says that there will be no DX reunion because tonight is the DX destruction. As he goes to leave, a delivery man brings him a chicken, because word on the street is he locks cocks. Vince tells him to go choke his chicken because he isn’t in the mood tonight. Now Vince leaves his office, runs into an alien who mimics his walk, and stares him down to make the alien leave.

Then he runs into some male strippers, including (I believe, as he is slimmer here) Big Dick Johnson for some oily dancing. With that out of the way, Vince runs into Dusty Rhodes, who plugs his DVD. Maybe the strippers want to buy one! Dusty goes off to see if they have any change and a deliveryman comes up to ask Vince to sign for a package. It’s a penis enlarger pump (the Pistol Pump), but Vince storms off, swearing to destroy DX. So what would have happened if Vince had gone the other way when he came out of his office? Or just not left?

Anyway, Vince comes out to the ring and promises to put his shoe in a certain part of HHH and use the same shoe to kick Shawn Michaels in the head. Cue Shane McMahon, who says Vince needs to leave because Stephanie McMahon is in labor. That’s enough to get Vince to leave, though he doesn’t seem happy. We follow them to the back, where Vince puts Coach in charge. Vince: “My daughter Stephanie has always had the worst timing of anyone I know. Now she’s in labor. THAT B****!” Vince and Shane leave in the limo as Lawler cracks up a bit.

Torrie Wilson had a swimsuit photo shoot for WWE Magazine. JR: “I’m subscribing.”

Torrie Wilson/Maria vs. Mickie James/Candice Michelle

Bra and panties match. Candice slams Torrie down by the head to start but a sunset flip lets Torrie rip her shirt off. Mickie comes in and takes off Torrie’s pants before doing the same to Maria. The tops come off as well to give Mickie the win almost by herself.

Post match Mickie decks Candice and rips off her shorts as well. Mickie throws in her own version of the Go Daddy dance. Then she goes too far by stealing JR’s hat (JR: “That’s going on eBay.” Mickie even rips the shirt off of a fan for a bonus.

Charlie Haas vs. Viscera

Before the match, Viscera gives Haas one more chance to apologize for hurting Lilian Garcia. For some reason Haas thinks it’s a good idea to say that he and Lilian went to dinner for the apology last week, which she accepted over some pillow talk. Lilian doesn’t seem to agree and neither does Viscera as he knocks Haas outside with one shot. Back in and Viscera wants details on the pillow talk (JR: “I don’t think you want to know that Charlie.”). There’s the corner splash….and here’s the Spirit Squad to jump both of them for the surprise no contest.

Post match the beatdown is on, with the Squad managing an Upsa Daisy on Viscera. The Squad says they know DX is back, but they want to get them out here right now for the fight. DX pops up on screen with Shawn Michaels freaking out about being down five to two (Shawn: “THEY’RE GONNA MURDERIZE US!”) but HHH says they’re just cheerleaders. DX will be out there tonight, but it’s on their terms. For now, HHH has two words for them: look up. Slime falls down onto the Squad, meaning a lot of slipping and laughter ensues. Shawn paints DX on the camera lens because he doesn’t value company property.

Post break, the Squad tells Coach to take care of DX. Vince’s plan will still be enacted so they can go clean up. Coach goes into Vince’s office and finds Paul Heyman waiting for him. Heyman says tonight could go worse because ECW is in a bus in the parking lot ready to tear Raw apart.

Heyman is here with an offer though: since ECW on Sci Fi was the highest rated show on cable last Tuesday, he wants to share the love with Raw. So tomorrow night, how about a dream tag match? How about Edge/Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle/Rob Van Dam? Coach makes the match but Heyman isn’t done. For tonight, how about John Cena vs. Balls Mahoney? That’s on too.

With the slime being cleaned up, we go to Kane, who knows who the Costumed Kane is. He has known this guy since he was a kid and the guy is even more screwed up than he is. Kane won’t say what he did but he seems worried. This is going to be stupid isn’t it?

Umaga vs. John McChesney

Umaga kicks him into the corner before Armando Alejandro Estrada gets out of the ring. There’s the Tree of Woe headbutt into the running Umaga attack and the Samoan Spike finishes in about a minute. JR barely had time to announce Eugene vs. Umaga at Vengeance.

Post match Umaga sends him outside and Estrada grabs the mic but the fans say his name with him, making Estrada give up.

John Cena vs. Balls Mahoney

Paul Heyman is here with Mahoney, who has his chair with him. They go right for the slugout to start and Cena hits his release fisherman’s suplex for two. The fans are all over Cena as he hammers away in the corner, until Mahoney gets in a poke to the eye. Mahoney hits the snap jabs (without the chants) and a kick to the face gets two. Cena fights back with shoulders into the finishing sequence but Heyman slips in the chair. That doesn’t seem to matter as Cena ducks the shot and pulls Mahoney into the STFU for the tap.

Post match here’s Sabu for a lot of swearing and a beatdown on Cena, including a top rope legdrop through the announcers’ table. JR: “GOD D*** IT GET THAT TRASH OUT OF HERE!” Cena is busted open as the ECW guys leave. He stands up and has that look in his eye, so of course you know this means war.

Post break, JR is REALLY mad about Cena being attacked. Or maybe it’s the table being broken.

Randy Orton vs. Snitsky

I had forgotten Snitsky was still employed. Orton pokes him in the eye to start and adds the backbreaker. A knee drop gets two and we’re already in the chinlock. The fans seem to approve of Orton, even as Snitsky starts his comeback. There’s a side slam to plant Orton and a running shoulder drops him again. The pumphandle slam is countered though and it’s the RKO for the fast pin.

Post match Lawler talks to Orton, who is ready to take care of Kurt Angle at Vengeance. On Sunday, Vengeance will be his.

Here’s Carlito, who thinks what happened to the Spirit Squad was funny. Coach didn’t like it though and that means Carlito has a handicap match. That’s not cool, but Carlito winning the Intercontinental Title on Sunday sure would be.

Johnny Nitro/Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

Non-title and Melina is here with Nitro and Benjamin. Lawler rather likes Melina’s entrance, prompting JR to demand that he hand over the Cialis. Nitro starts with the team and hits an early shoulder block, making Melina squeal. Carlito ducks a right hand and hits a dropkick as Lawler wonders if Carlito’s hair slows him down.

Shelton comes in and gets caught with a belly to back suplex before losing a slugout. A knee lift into a clothesline gives Carlito two but Shelton kicks him down. Nitro makes a blind tag and gets in a fight with Benjamin. Carlito grabs a rollup but Nitro reverses and grabs the trunks for the pin. Another short match but it did make you think Nitro could steal a win in a triple threat.

Post match Carlito gives Shelton a Backstabber for his own building moment.

Coach goes into Vince’s office and finds a lot of DX graffiti, including on the Muscle and Fitness cover. DX comes in and points out the fact that the pictures have been replaced by some more anti-Vince shots. They’re going to sit back and watch the rest of the show with Coach. Lawler: “Let’s watch it too.” JR: “We are.”

Eugene didn’t recognize Maria with her clothes on but he’s ready to get revenge on Umaga for taking out Jim Duggan and Kamala. Rob Conway comes in to laugh at Eugene and gets destroyed for his efforts.

Vengeance rundown.

DX annoys Coach some more so he tells them not to do anything else tonight. Messing with him is like messing with Vince….so they throw him through the wall, take his pants down (Shawn: “What kind of a man wears a thong?”) and spray paint DX on….yeah you get the idea.

The Highlanders are still coming but have to break down the door to their hotel room. They do like the TV though, because it has adult titles. Rory: “We’re adults and we want the World Tag Team Titles!” They see something on TV and declare their love for America.

Edge vs. Ric Flair

Lita is here with Edge and Mick Foley is on commentary, promising to have a horrible match at Vengeance. Foley: “I can steal any pay per view show anytime I want. I’m just not going to do it at Vengeance.” Edge knocks Flair down to start but gets chopped out of the air and sent outside. Edge brings in a chair but neither that nor Lita’s distraction works. Instead, Foley grabs the Mandible Claw on Flair, allowing Edge to hit the spear for the win.

Post match here’s Rob Van Dam to take Edge and Foley out before bailing through the crowd.

The Spirit Squad rallies the locker room to destroy DX. I’d be scared of Matt Striker too.

Here’s DX for their official reunion, which does feel like a big deal after a long time away. HHH thinks he knows the answer but are you ready? They get in their catchphrases but Shawn is guilt ridden. Vince and Shane are on their way back to Connecticut….where Stephanie is in labor. HHH: “LIAR!” Apparently Stephanie is fine, but what idiot got her pregnant? HHH isn’t sure but the guy must be hung like a…..Shawn: “I think it’s time to veer into a cheap pay per view plug!”

We hear the details on Vengeance (Shawn: “You can call your local cable provider and order it, only on pay per view.”) before Shawn calls out the Spirit Squad. Cue the Spirit Squad, or at least the mini versions of them. They’re shoved down and HHH even hits a mini superkick before saying this is Shawn’s handiwork. HHH: “It came up just a little short.”

HHH has been thinking of cheerleaders as well so Shawn puts on a blindfold. Four cheerleaders come out to talk about how Vince is scared of DX and then reveal DX bras. HHH suggests they’re removed as well but here is the Spirit Squad, flanked by the locker room. Only Johnny and Nicky get in though as everyone else leaves, meaning the big beatdown is on. The mini Spirit Squad gets in and drops their pants, revealing SUCK IT painted in certain areas. Posing wraps it up.

Overall Rating: D+. Aside from some special shows, I don’t ever remember a two hour Raw where there was nothing to rate. The longest match was the handicap match at a whopping 2:50. Now that being said, you don’t have to have a bunch of long matches to make a good show, but this wasn’t a good show in the first place. Not only was everything jammed in, but nothing was really all that high quality anyway.

The problem here is they’re trying to do WAY too much at once and as a result, nothing is really working. This show tried to focus on ECW (which is doing a bunch of individual things), DX’s reunion, DX messing with Vince/Coach and the regular Vengeance build. That’s a very busy two hours and the show didn’t exactly work because nothing had the time to work.

Vengeance is feeling very rushed (because it is very rushed) and as a result, nothing is really registering. Edge vs. Van Dam is feeling like a match that has to be there rather than being there because it should be, Cena vs. Sabu could be moderately interesting and is anyone buying the Spirit Squad against a reunited DX? Foley trying to have a bad match against Flair sounds good, but the rest of the show is being built so fast that nothing is having an impact. Maybe the pay per view will work, but this was one of the most packed go home shows I can ever remember.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 12, 2006
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after One Night Stand and that means we have a new WWE/ECW Champion in the form of Rob Van Dam. Sure it was a screwy finish, but that’s one of the places where ECW shines. That’s a big story in its own right, but we also need to get ready for Vengeance later this month. Let’s get to it.

Here is One Night Stand if you need a recap.

In Memory Of John Tenta.

Paul Heyman says that even though he isn’t an official official, Rob Van Dam is still the new WWE Champion. Tomorrow night on the debut of ECW on Sci-Fi, the WWE Championship will officially be rechristened the ECW Championship. Since Edge is the #1 contender, Van Dam will defend the title against him at Vengeance. Therefore, Edge, Lita, and all of you are invited to the debut show. Van Dam comes in to spin the title, which still says John Cena.

Opening sequence.

Randy Orton vs. Kane

So Orton is now on Raw. Orton gets in a right hand in the corner and manages to stomp Kane down in the corner. JR: “Kane was devastating in See No Evil. Maybe we can have a sequel here called Silence of the Slams.” A dropkick puts Orton down but Kane sits up and hits the big boot. The running clothesline into a side slam sets up the top rope clothesline but Orton blocks the chokeslam. Kane kicks him outside and they fight up the ramp for the quick double countout.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it feels more like a means to set something else up in the near future. What we got here didn’t last very long and that’s probably a good thing given that this was a cold match with Orton just debuting on Raw. At least the See No Evil lighting seems to be over for no at least.

Post match they fight up to the stage until the Costume Kane shows up for the brawl with the real one. Costume Kane knocks the real one out to the floor for a crash.

Here’s Charlie Haas to talk about accidentally knocking Lilian Garcia off the apron last week. Lilian has a sprained wrist and Charlie is truly sorry, but here’s Viscera to interrupt. Viscera says that was very sweet and Lilian may accept the apology, but he doesn’t. The beatdown is on, including the big splash. Lilian isn’t sure what to think about this.

We recap Vince McMahon trying to get HHH to join his Club but HHH outsmarted the McMahons and by not drinking the drugged water, meaning Vince and Shane were left laying instead.

Jonathan Coachman is trying to make sure everything is perfect for Vince McMahon’s State Of The WWE Address tonight. The cameramen aren’t even in the right place!

ECW on Sci-Fi debuts tomorrow.

Jerry Lawler complains about Joey Styles costing him the match against Tazz. Then to make it even worse, Sandman attacked poor innocent Eugene.

Eugene is worried about Jim Duggan facing Umaga tonight. Duggan: “WAS BABE RUTH WORRIED WHEN HE FOUGHT GODZILLA ON TOP OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING??? Trust me, THAT HAPPENED!” He’s ready to fight tonight.

It’s time for the State of WWE, which means it’s time to talk about the return of ECW. In addition, Vince is not pleased with what happened between himself, HHH and Shane McMahon last week. The last person to cross the boss was Shawn Michaels, who isn’t in action anymore thanks to the Spirit Squad. Therefore, tonight HHH gets to face the Spirit Squad in a gauntlet match. After tonight, HHH will join Michaels on the highway to H***. Wasn’t that back in 1998?

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

It’s a Wet N Wild match, meaning there are various water based implements in the ring and the winner is on the cover of the WWE Summer Special magazine. Naturally they’re both in white in case you didn’t get the idea here. They go back to back to start and start with the water guns before Candice throws her face first down onto the water balloons. Candice hits a backbreaker and puts some water balloons down Torrie’s clothes for a Vader Bomb.

That’s good for two and Lawler is way too happy about the kickout. Candice throws a bucket of water but stops for the Go Daddy Dance. A splash in the corner sets up another bucket of water being poured onto Candice, setting up the Stink Face. They go outside with Lawler being sprayed with the water gun and JR rather enjoying the visuals, calling it better than the Oklahoma State Fair. Back in and Torrie hits a facebuster for the pin.

Rating: D. I don’t think this really qualifies as a wrestling match for the most (Moist?) part and that’s fine. They weren’t trying to do anything here other than the obvious and in that regard, it worked rather well. They kept it short and in this case, Lawler’s commentary was as it was supposed to be. Not good of course, but looking for quality here is missing the point.

Trish Stratus hosted the inductions into the Canadian Walk Of Fame and kissed Pamela Anderson. This isn’t on the Network.

Commentary explains the various things required for Rob Van Dam to beat John Cena last week.

Video on Van Dam winning the title.

The Spirit Squad says it’s GAME OVER for HHH. I really hope that isn’t supposed to pass for clever at this point.

Spirit Squad vs. HHH

Gauntlet match. Actually hang on as here’s Vince McMahon to say we don’t need a referee right now. Instead we see what happened to Shawn Michaels when the Spirit Squad got their hands on him. Mikey starts for the team and gets clotheslined before the bell. The knee drop into the jumping knee to the face make it worse so Vince sends out Kenny. HHH beats up both of them with a neckbreaker and a spinebuster so it’s Johnny coming in as well.

The fans chant for DX as Nicky is here as well, making it 4-1. HHH is whipped into the steps and it’s time to wrap a chair around his knee. Vince: “Not on the knee. Break his d*** neck!” Mitch is called out to join the fray….but he comes sprawling out of the entrance because Shawn Michaels is back. Sweet Chin Music hits Mitch and Shawn goes to the ring to clean house. The Pedigree connects as well and DX is back, complete with stereo crotch chops. HHH even drops his trunks to make Vince’s eyes bug out as a bonus.

Rating: D+. There was a bell so this was an official match, but the wrestling wasn’t quite the point (again). It worked out well in getting Shawn back though, which was the point of the whole thing. Vince is going to need more than the Spirit Squad to give these two a challenge, but they’ll work fine for the first boss. The reunion was good as well, as that felt like a special moment.

Back from a break and Vince makes the Spirit Squad vs. DX at Vengeance.

Jim Duggan vs. Umaga

Eugene and Armando Alejandro Estrada are here as well. Duggan jumps him at the bell and hammers away but is quickly tied in the Tree of Woe. Eugene hands Duggan the board but Umaga kicks him in the head anyway. Umaga breaks the board over his own head and finishes in a hurry with the Samoan Spike.

Post match Eugene gets tied in the ropes and has to watch Umaga hit the running hip attack in the corner on Duggan.

See No Evil video.

Flair says he has been wanting to talk to Foley for three years and doesn’t care about One Night Stand. He wants to talk about the two of them, because Flair has heard what Foley has said about Flair’s comments on his wrestling career. The only person on Flair’s status around here is Joe Paterno so he is standing up for WWE against this ECW stuff.

For years, people like Flair, HHH, Shawn Michaels, Rock, Austin, Undertaker and Kurt Angle have wrestled their way to greatness. But then people say the greatest thing they ever saw was Foley going off the Cell and through a table. Flair: “We wrestle our way to greatness. You fall off a Cell and you’re great? That’s bulls***.” Foley says no one here cares about Flair vs. Race, Steamboat or Funk because that’s too old for them.

To Foley’s WWE fans, Flair’s thousand dollar suits will never match up to the Santa’s Village t-shirt and ripped flannel. Foley slept on a roof as WWF Champion to save a few bucks and what really bothers Flair is he can do nothing about it. This glorified stuntman could rip Flair apart so Flair takes the jacket off and backs Foley into the corner, but Foley cites his eye injuries from last night. Foley: “My eyes are so screwed up I might mistake you for Joe Paterno and start slapping the wrong old guy around!”

Foley leaves so Flair offers thumbtacks and a ladder if that’s what it takes to get Foley in the ring. That won’t work for Foley, but he’ll challenge Flair to a match at Vengeance, 2/3 falls. Flair can’t accept fast enough. I remember never liking this feud before so maybe watching it with fresh eyes will work better. This worked well and laid out the issues in the intense way you knew you would get from these two.

Johnny Nitro vs. Carlito

Melina is here with Nitro and Shelton Benjamin is on commentary, as he will be defending the Intercontinental Title in a triple threat against these two at Vengeance. Carlito grabs an armdrag and a hiptoss to start but goes outside when Melina steals his apple. Nitro uses the distraction to hammer away, with Melina getting in a headscissors from the floor. Carlito fights back up with a springboard elbow and a clothesline but Melina offers a distraction. That’s enough for Shelton to help block the Backstabber, setting up a standing shooting star press to give Nitro the pin.

Rating: C-. Very short by the book match here which worked fine as a way to set up the title match at Vengeance. It wasn’t about having a competitive match but Shelton screwing Carlito over makes sense. It’s nice to see Nitro added into the mix as well, though it makes his early struggles on Raw a little more confusing in hindsight.

Mickie James is rather amused by Beth Phoenix getting hurt last week. It’s amazing how many people get hurt for getting on her bad side. Ashley broke her leg and is on Smackdown, Trish Stratus has a bad shoulder and now Beth has to eat through a straw. Mickie and Beth grew up together but then Beth got really, really mean. Randy Orton of all people pops up to talk about the huge upset when Kurt Angle beat him. That was in ECW though so Angle should want a rematch at Vengeance under WWE rules. Spread the word.

The Highlanders are coming and raid the trash in Times Square.

We look back at the DX reunion.

Vengeance rundown.

Lita takes over interviewing duties for Maria and brings in Edge. He changed the face of wrestling last night by beating three ECW has beens and then costing John Cena the WWE Championship. Tomorrow night, the two of them will be at ECW but as for tonight, he’s facing Cena, who will never be WWE Champion again.

Stevie Richards, Justin Credible and Balls Mahoney are here to sit in the front row.

Edge vs. John Cena

Cena is serious tonight and double legs Edge down to start the fight in a hurry. They go outside with Edge going into the steps so Lita jumps on Cena for the DQ in less than a minute.

Post match the ECW guys jump the barricade so Cena cleans house with a chair. Cena says he got an awakening in ECW last night and since anyone can show up and do whatever they want, he’s going to be showing up on ECW tomorrow night as well. He likes this feeling and he’s going to have an extremely good time tomorrow.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling was almost nothing here but this show did a good job of making me want to see tomorrow’s ECW show. That’s exactly what they were going for here and Vengeance is starting to look good as well. That’s a nice use of time tonight and I’m curious to see how they pull off both shows. Now that being said, the Raw stuff was actually pretty weak and the wrestling was just a step above awful, but I’m liking where things are going. Find a nice mixture of all that stuff and the show could be back on its roll in a hurry. For now though, nice job of building things up.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the 20^th show so we talk about tradition and all that jazz. Then it turns into a regular video about a PPV, but a good one.

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Legends: Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Ron Simmons, Dusty Rhodes

Spirit Squad: Kenny, Johnny, Nicky, Mikey

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Lita is defending and slaps Mickie in the face to start, causing Mickie to choke away in the corner. The champ comes back by literally throwing Mickie around which is a bit less than what you would expect from someone as talented as Lita. Mickie goes up and gets slammed off the top as this is one sided so far. The fans think Lita is a crack w****. Their words, not mine.

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

Team DX: Shawn Michaels, HHH, Hardy Boys, CM Punk

Team Rated-RKO: Edge, Randy Orton, Johnny Nitro, Mike Knox, Gregory Helms

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Kennedy beats up Undertaker post match but Undertaker snaps up and pounds him down as well. Undertaker WHACKS him with the chair to get a gasp from the crowd. JBL LOSES IT as Kennedy gets beaten up even more and tombstoned.

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

John Cena, Kane, Bobby Lashley, Sabu, Rob Van Dam

Big Show, Test, MVP, Finlay, Umaga

The Extreme Elimination Chamber is coming.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Booker T

Ratings Comparison

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: B

Redo: D+

Mickie James vs. Lita

Original: B

Redo: D

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

Original: B

Redo: C-

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Original: C+

Redo: C

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Batista vs. Booker T

Original: D-

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D-

WHAT WAS I THINKING ON THOSE EARLIER MATCHES???

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/15/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2006-who-thought-batista-vs-booker-was-a-good-idea/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, JBL, Michael Cole

It’s the 20th show in case you were wondering for some bizarre reason that I can’t comprehend. With the 2006 show, the only real difference is the induction of ECW into the company. It brings the third brand and at this point is still complete with the Originals and Heyman etc. Also there are some new faces such as Johnny Nitro (Morrison), Punk, MVP and Kennedy.

There are three Survivor Series matches here and the main event is Booker vs. Batista which had been done about a million times already but they figured what the heck we might as well do it again. Other than that, there’s not a lot here that jumps off the page at me.

Oh DX is here again as they’re feuding with Rated RKO, having just finished fighting Vince and Shane. Other than that, there’s just not a lot here. It looks kind of generic but sometimes cards like that are best. Here we go again as we’re very close to wrapping this series up.

The intro video is about as bland as you can get, but in this case it’s actually working. They talk very briefly about how this is the 20th Survivor Series and a new generation is here, followed by a quick build up for all seven matches. There’s not a lot here but it’s a nice change of pace from all of the stupid videos about Survival that we’ve heard for the last two or three years. After the four (ECW is left out) commentators talk about their show’s big matches, we’re ready to go.

Spirit Squad vs. Legends

The Spirit Squad is comprised of Kenny Dykstra, Johnny Jeter who was pretty awesome in OVW, a short guy named Mikey, and a guy named Nick, who would eventually be known as Dolph Ziggler. Spellcheck has never heard the name Dolph? Has it never seen Rocky 4? That’s just sad. Anyway, there’s also a 5th guy on the outside that never did anything. On the other side we have Arn Anderson on the floor with Dusty Rhodes, Sgt. Slaughter, Ron Simmons (really?) and Ric Flair in the ring.

Apparently Simmons was supposed to be Roddy Piper but he had been diagnosed with cancer so naturally he couldn’t wrestle. Ok in that case it’s a bit better. Naturally this is over the respect for the old timers thing which is about as basic of a storyline that will almost always work as you could ask for. Dusty comes out to his American Dream music so I’m happy. Simmons is rocking the catchphrase shirt and the APA music.

Anderson comes out to the Horsemen theme, so this is officially a cool show. Dang that music is awesome. I really love kayfabe as Flair and Anderson have tried to cripple Dusty at least half a dozen times over the years yet now they’re his partners. That could only work in wrestling. The Spirit Squad were a bunch of male cheerleaders. Yep, that’s about all that needs to be said. It amuses me greatly to see Ziggler in there looking like that.

We start out with Simmons against Mikey, because that’s a great way to open up a PPV. Ross says there’s an unlimited amount of combinations that could occur. Actually there are sixteen combinations that could happen while the match is still going on, but who am I to question the great mathematician known as Jim Ross? Ron beats down the whole heel team but gets tripped and goes after Kenny.

After he and Arn beat up Mikey, he’s counted out despite the referee never actually saying ten. Well I guess that’s as good of a way to get rid of him as any other, but I would have liked it to have lasted longer than two minutes. Mitch the manager gets thrown out too so there we go. Arn gets the same and I want to massacre that referee. This is kind of overkill here and even the fans are chanting bull.

When you can get a Philly crowd to cheer for you, you have officially won. On a replay we see that Anderson beat up Mitch. So wait, he can get thrown out for beating on someone not even in the match? What sense does that even begin to make? If your answer is none at all, YOU’RE RIGHT! Think about it: he’s getting in trouble for beating someone up that isn’t officially involved in the match. So could he be thrown out of the match for getting into a bar fight? See, it makes no sense.

Anyway, we’re up to Slaughter against Mikey now. Dusty gets a solid pop when he comes in, thankfully wearing a shirt. Flair gets less of a pop, but the chops make up for it. The heels are getting destroyed here which is just what shouldn’t have happened. I get that they’re legends, but isn’t the job of guys like these to put over young talent? I guess not as Sarge has the Cobra Clutch on Nicky. Man these guys are hard to tell apart other than Kenny.

I love how in today’s company, this would be so one sided the other way that it’s not even funny. With the referee distracted, Johnny comes in and kicks Slaughter in the back of the head and Nicky gets the easy pin to make it 4-2. In one of the stupidest looking things I’ve ever seen, with Nicky still down from the cover, Dusty casually walks in, measures him, and drops a very slow elbow on him to get the pin.

Seriously? That’s all it takes? A single elbow drop to beat someone? I get that Dusty was limited at best in the ring but he couldn’t pick him up and throw some punches and slam him or something? A freaking elbow drop gets the pin? Come on now. For the life of me I don’t get what the big deal about Kenny was. He was ok at best and that’s about all. After the really stupid (and insanely slow) Flip Flop and Fly, Dusty gets rolled up and Kenny pins him.

So now we have Flair vs. Kenny, Mikey and Johnny. Which of the jobbers is Flair going to take out first? It’s Mikey who gets taken out by a roll up with Flair’s feet on the ropes for a nice old school cheating pin. Flair truly was a master at taking something as simple as that and making it look cool and so completely evil when he was a heel. Sometimes less is more and Flair was the best there ever was in that area.

Ross points out that the Legends team had 21 world title reigns between them, but Flair has 16 of those. That’s just amusing. Flair hooks a quick inside cradle to make this Johnny vs. Ric Flair. Hmm, I’m not sure how this is going to go. I have to go with the guy in green. No way some old guy beats him is there? Oh never mind.

Even I can’t make this sound funny. The figure four gets the old guys the win about 45 seconds later. The Squad beats up Flair afterwards and surprisingly no help comes out for Flair.

Rating: C+. Eh this was what it was. They only had about ten minutes which is what it should have been. Other than Simmons, who wasn’t supposed to be in there anyway, all of the eliminations kind of made sense. Having Flair be the winner is ok I guess as he was at least an active wrestler at the time. His picking apart of the team at the end was great stuff as nothing he did was flashy or anything like that as he beat all three guys using very basic stuff.

That’s something that a lot of guys now could learn actually. The Figure Four was appropriate as he shouldn’t have gone for that with others around and he didn’t. When he was outnumbered he used fast stuff but once things were even he used his best. That’s terrific thinking there and it worked quite well. This wasn’t really about anything but nostalgia, but sometimes there’s nothing wrong with that, and this is a great example of one of those times.

Cole says that Philly is one of three cities to host all of the Big Four, with the others being New York City and Boston. That’s actually pretty cool.

Recap of Benoit vs. Chavo, which goes like this. Chavo and Vickie had allegedly been doing jack with Eddie’s estate or something like that which was never elaborated on. Benoit comes back from a hiatus and wins the US Title. Chavo also says that Rey is trying to steal the Guerrero name because that would be something evil.

We’ll of course ignore that Chavo and Vickie have been doing that for their whole careers but whatever. Anyway, Chavo injured Rey’s knee and put him out, so Benoit came to his rescue. That brings us here.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chave Guerrero

Vickie actually has some pretty awesome cleavage. Since this is Benoit, it’s naturally an intense match. There’s not a lot to say here. It’s really just a lot of strikes from both guys mixed with the occasional attempt at the Crossface. I know that’s not a lot to go on but I really have nothing to say here. It’s insane to think that Benoit would be gone in less than a year. This is where Chavo is at his best: in there with another guy of about his size and just letting it go.

Both guys can wrestle as well as anyone else and Chavo, or Shavo as JBL refers to him as because he can’t pronounce his name for some reason, really is better than he’s given credit for. Vickie interferes about a dozen times here and it’s rather annoying. JBL compares it to cheating on your wife with some hot chick on the road. Dang what must his wife have thought of that line? Benoit misses the headbutt because of Vickie leading to Guerrero hitting the Frog Splash for two.

A massive Eddie chant breaks out because of that. Benoit goes for the Sharpshooter and gets shoved off, slamming into Vickie THANK GOODNESS. Chavo goes to check on her and the Crossface ends this. It was short but quite intense which was where Benoit shined.

Rating: B. Like I said, this was short but intense. Benoit could fight with the best of them but he could also wrestle better than the best of them which is what made him so successful. Chavo certainly can go too and it’s a shame that he’s a comedy jobber to this day. I really do feel bad for him, but he’s getting on TV so you can’t blame him for that. Solid match that was just long enough to not feel short.

The Elimination Chamber is coming back at December 2 Dismember. Oh dear this was awful in every sense of the word. Also, it’s A WEEK LATER. There’s a rant coming one day on that show as it’s about as much of a debacle as humanly possible, but I’ll save that for later.

Edge and Lita are with Todd Grisham. Tonight is Lita’s last match despite the fact that she’s the Women’s Champion. Edge offers some weak Philly jokes before doing the smarter thing and kissing Lita. He rants a bit more while Cryme Tyme is behind them sneaking into her locker room and stealing her stuff.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Lita

Like I said, this is Lita’s last night with the company. Mickie is at this point the queen of the short skirts which gave us some AWESOME visuals for a long time. For the life of me I don’t get how people don’t think she’s hot. Mickie is flat out gorgeous on so many levels. Granted Lita is somehow hotter which defies logic. Lita’s music truly does rock. This likely is going to go quick as it’s about as obvious as possible that Mickie walks out with the belt here.

Allegedly Lita is leaving due to the fans hating her, which is actually pretty creative. The fans boo people all the time yet this time the fans are actually getting rid of someone they can’t stand. Trish had left two months prior to this, so this is more or less the ending of the Women’s Division’s best years. More or less they’re just going through the motions here and it’s not that interesting.

To be fair, at least Lita isn’t being a witch like Goldberg and Lesnar were when they left and having a horrible match more or less on purpose. She’s not exactly lighting the world on fire or anything, but she’s certainly out there trying and that’s all I can ask of her. Mickie surprisingly kicks out of both the Litarana and the moonsault to a decent pop. My goodness Mickie has a nice figure.

After some back and forth reversals, Mickie hits the jumping DDT to get the pin and the division is officially in big trouble. That’s not a knock on Mickie by any means, but other than her around this time there was absolutely no one that could carry a decent match. She and Melina traded the belt a bit before Candice arrived and took the division over despite a rather severe lack of talent at the time.

Lita wants a mic as the fans are singing to her a familiar song. Actually she’s demanding that Lillian calls her the best Women’s Champion ever, which of course gets her booed again. It’s a shame she left because she was awesome as a heel. Anyway, after she whines a lot, Cryme Tyme, who was the hottest team on the planet around this time, comes out with the box, and it’s time for a HO SALE! Everything must go so have your money ready.

This really is hilarious as JTG has charisma to burn. He’s actually a lot better on the mic than he’s given credit for. They sell mainly underwear and bras with JBL offering $100 for some panties. They take the money and toss them into the crowd of course. Lita is freaking out over this as they pull out her vibrator. I love how the cops aren’t here as it’s clearly Lita’s stuff and she’s upset about this. The last item: it’s big, it’s wide, it’s cheap and you can fit your head in it.

It’s Lita’s box. As Cryme Tyme is leaving, you can hear some very profane in their song. That’s most interesting. You kind of have to feel bad for Lita that on her last night this is her sendoff, but dang that was great. It’s a shame that they never win jack in the ring, but geez they need to go back to doing stuff like this as it was hilarious.

Rating: B. Well, they made Mickie look strong and Lita looked fine on her way out so those two missions were certainly accomplished. Considering there was absolutely zero suspense about the ending, I’d say this was fine. There’s little drama but the match itself was fine.

Mickie was the future of the division so having her beat Lita clean after kicking out of her signature moves was the exact right thing to do. This was fine for what it was and the girls both looked hot. Couple that with a great comedy segment and this was sweet.

We go to an interview with Cole and Batista from earlier in the day. Cole asks a bunch of questions and Batista says nothing at all to anything. He just sits and stares straight ahead. After a clip of Booker attacking him on Smackdown, Batista still says nothing. Cole asks if he has anything at all to say and Batista takes off his glasses, looks at Cole and simply says “Tonight, I’m leaving as World Heavyweight Champion”. End of interview.

I LOVE that. How many times have you seen people do the exact same promo that absolutely nothing gets said in at all and it’s just the same stuff that we hear every month? This was directly to the point and made Batista look crazy, which is exactly the point. I loved this and it did its job to perfection.

Team DX vs. Team Rated RKO

DX, Hardys, Punk
Randy Orton, Edge, Mike Knox, Johnny Nitro, Gregory Helms

The feuds are pretty self explanatory here with Punk against Knox, Nitro against Jeff and Matt against Helms. We don’t get any stupid things like stories or anything like that. Why waste time there. Let’s just get theme music playing and get to it! Jeff is Intercontinental Champion here. For some reason Lillian calls Matt and Jeff Team Xtreme while Ross calls them their traditional names.

Punk gets a solid pop. He’s a rookie here and is still undefeated. Naturally since he’s young, over and good with a different gimmick, Vince decided that Hardcore Holly should outlast him in the Elimination Chamber. Heyman had wanted to put Punk over Big Show but Vince decided that Holly had more potential. For those of you keeping score, that’s Heyman – 1, Vince – 0. DX gets a big pop despite their entrance taking forever.

Who would have thought that at this time three years later Matt would be by far and away the least successful? After a longer version of the standard intro in which all of the faces try to get different sections of the crowd to cheer the loudest, we’re on to the heels. First of all though, we get a HUGE CM Punk chant. He gets to ask are you ready? That’s saying a lot. That really is a freaking stacked face team in there with what, 25 world titles between four guys?

Melina and Nitro come out first with her looking ridiculously hot. For some reason that no one gets, Kevin Federline was a character around this time and an A-list guy along with Nitro and Melina. Vince’s desperation to be in every facet of entertainment will never cease to amaze me. Helms, the Cruiserweight Champion and coming out to the most generic rock music of all time is next. Knox, sans awesome beard is somehow dating Kelly at this point. Her skirt might be 4 inches wide. That’s awesome.

Edge and Orton are the tag champions here and their mix of music is completely awesome. After about ten minutes of intros and another Punk chant we start off with Knox and HHH. HHH, being a selfish bastard as always, hits on Kelly. At the time Kelly was an exhibitionist character so she gets up to flash HHH but Knox cuts him off. He turns into Sweet Chin Music and it’s 5-4 after about 45 seconds. The fans are WAY into Punk here.

Naturally Hardcore Holly would get 10x the pops though. Shawn scares the heck out of Melina in a funny spot. Morrison is in now and the faces take their time beating the living tar out of him. Edge beats on Matt for a bit which is dripping with history. I’m glad the captains aren’t staying on the apron until the end. Matt is bleeding from the mouth. I guess that’s better than being From The South. Punk comes in and gets cheered louder than anyone in the match.

After a few seconds, Nitro is tapping fast. He needs to bring that back, even as a secondary move. I’m talking about the Anaconda Vice in case there was any confusion. Helms and Edge beat down Punk, but he still gets massive chants. They’ll be silent when Holly shows up though. You know he’s a real star. He won a tag title. Helms busts out a one leg version of what will become known as the Codebreaker. The RKO puts Punk more or less out cold but Shawn breaks up the pin.

Punk finally gets the tag to HHH who comes in for the first time. Naturally he cleans house for awhile but it’s time for the big brawl, leading to the Hardys taking everyone out. The Twist of Fate and Swanton takes out Helms to make it 5 vs. Rated RKO. The heels grab their belts and try to leave but the Hardys cut them off. They all beat on Edge for awhile and then he gets kicked in the face for the pin. Ross calls him a Canadian Piñata which is kind of funny.

Randy tries to run through the crowd but every face not named DX catches him and the DX Double Team Finishing Combination, which is a long way to say Sweet Chin Music and a Pedigree take him out for the clean sweep. Massive posing and celebrating follows.

Rating: B. This was very fun. It was fast paced and it got the point over perfectly. Also it doesn’t bury Edge and Orton because not even two A-list guys like them could overcome an obstacle like this. This was a great example of perfect booking and a great Survivor Series match. Punk’s pops are the most surprising part here though as they were by far and away the biggest thing of the match.

Vince is a freaking idiot to not let Punk get pushed because he wasn’t a big enough name yet or whatever. That’s a great example of his ego taking control of his senses. Punk would get pushed, but they freaking pushed Holly over him, and for what? The idea of paying dues? Come on now Vince, listen to the people and grow up for a change.

Time to recap the only real push that Kennedy ever got. This was around the time where he kept beating world champions and he’s challenged Taker at his show. Oddly that’s not Mania but whatever. They did manage to make this a First Blood match which helps a lot as it allows Kennedy to potentially beat Taker but Taker doesn’t have to actually get pinned. As for the story here, Kennedy says that he’s young so he has to take out the old man that is Taker.

How many people have used this same story? That’s just a painful lack of creativity. Also I would be willing to bet that at some point in the promos leading up to this, Kennedy has said he’s not afraid of the dark because no one ever has been. In the highlight package, Kennedy says that at Survivor KENNEDY! Sorry I had to get that joke in at least once.

He says that at Survivor Series the decade and a half of destruction will end. Well that’s all well and good for a threat but the decade and a half ended the year before. We’re closing in on two decades now. Is Kennedy planning on bringing a time traveling Delorean to the match or something? That would be cooler than he is, so maybe it should happen.

Undertaker vs. Mr. Kennedy

Before the match, Kennedy is talking to Krystal about how this is the biggest match of his career when MVP comes up. I almost forgot: they were teaming a bit at the time and actually had a very short feud with the Brothers of Destruction. I’ll give you two guesses as to which team got their heads handed to them. Kennedy has Vaseline on his forehead which keeps fists from making full contact and thereby opening up his head. That’s actually pretty smart.

Kennedy is wearing the Norcal shirt so I’m making a good bit here. Why does the blood have to come from the head? I’d love to see someone come out with a needle and poke their opponent’s finger to get the win. I’d half die of laughter. Kennedy desperately needs his new music at this point as the one he’s using here is painfully generic. He takes off two of the turnbuckle pads as JBL calls him the future of Smackdown. Again, that’s something that when you hear it now it’s just incredibly funny.

Holy crap Cole made a Back to the Future reference! I swear that wasn’t foreshadowing or anything like that when I made the Delorean joke earlier. Wow that actually made my review. I’m stunned. As Taker comes out Kennedy pulls off another buckle covering. Taker really does look awesome here. After over ten minutes since we started talking about this match, the bell finally rings. Ok, that’s just WAY too long.

I have no interest in watching it after that long, but at least this looks cool so let’s get to it. They keep pointing out that this is anything goes. We get it guys, chill a bit. This is really just a brawl/Taker beating up Kennedy to start us off, which I guess makes the most sense. I’m liking this actually. It’s a lot better than I expected, and I think that’s because they’re going on a rather slow style which allows them to set up to a big finish.

That’s fine, although I’m not sure why Taker is working on Kennedy’s ribs. I guess it’s because he wants to slow him down? Does that makes sense? I guess in some way it does, but it just doesn’t feel right. I’ve rarely seen anyone bleed from the stomach, at least in a wrestling match. Taker is completely dominant here. Cole asks about the logic of attacking the ribs as well, which has JBL saying Taker wants Kennedy to bleed from the mouth.

That’s…..kind of stupid but it works I suppose. A low blow does little to slow down Taker, which I kind of like I think. It keeps the whole painless man thing working. Another low blow actually works though so the first was completely pointless. Kennedy goes to the floor and is bleeding from the mouth but MVP comes out with a towel to clean it up. I’m surprised it can clot that fast but whatever.

With Taker back in control, MVP comes in with a chair for no apparent reason and cracks Taker with it to bust him open. That was just odd. Post match, Kennedy beats on him a bit more and gets in his face with the mic for his catchphrase. Taker of course grabs him by the throat and it’s beatdown time.

Taker KILLS him with the chair which gets a holy crap chant from a Philly crowd. That says a lot. A tombstone ends this beating as Taker poses to close the segment with JBL talking about how awesome and scary Taker is.

Rating: C+. This started off solid but it felt like the ending came from absolutely nowhere. MVP coming down wasn’t needed as he was swinging for Kennedy and it was just a big mess. I get why they had Kennedy win here as it makes the most sense, but dang this was just a mess near the end.

For the life of me I don’t get why they booked it like that. This is a great example of a match that just needed more time to flesh itself out. Another five minutes or so would have made this much better.

Booker isn’t worried about Batista tonight.

Again with no transition, we’re at our penultimate match.

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

Cena, RVD, Kane, Lashley, Sabu
Big Show, MVP, Test, Finlay, Umaga

Dang those are some pretty motley crews of tag teams. Lashley is just becoming a bit deal, Kane is Kane, RVD is pretty worthless and Sabu just sucks. Test is the worst excuse for a big man ever and Finlay never really did anything other than have a midget for a son. This just doesn’t look good at all on paper. Let’s get this over with. Cena is between feuds with Show and Umaga here. We start with Umaga and Cena which would become the title feud very soon after this.

The Champ puts Umaga on the floor with a clothesline and the savage reacts savagely. He rips up the table of course and gets out a monitor which he blasts RVD, Sabu and Cena with for the fast DQ. Well that was abrupt. I get that they want to keep him hot but that’s a bit, shall we say extreme? I get what they’re trying to do here but it is a bit much. Granted it puts the faces at an early disadvantage so that’s mission accomplished if nothing else.

After that insanity we’re back with Finlay vs. RVD. Test comes in to beat on RVD a bit as Test continues to just be a failure on many levels. Vince to his credit though kept trying to push him despite him completely sucking at it. After about a minute in there Finlay comes back in just in case you missed him. Since he’s had his face kicked in for a good long while now Van Dam is bleeding from the mouth.

This is just not interesting at all for some reason despite there being a lot of names in there that are certainly A-list guys. I guess it’s that there’s no way Cena’s team is losing here but whatever. Van Dam hits one heck of a kick on Finlay which I think wasn’t supposed to be that solid. He caught him great though and it looked awesome. After a rather weak brawl, Kane interferes and hits a chokeslam on MVP to set up the Five Star and make it 5-3.

As RVD gets up though, Test hits the SICKEST big boot I’ve ever seen to take him out. Even Kane on the apron was knocked back by just looking at it. I mean Kane is just watching this and he looks like he got hit by a right hand and he’s only wincing because of how solid a kick that was. That was completely sick and no one would kick out of that. Based on that kick alone, I’d buy Test as a main event guy.

Go find a video of this match to see how sick that was. I’m impressed. Sabu immediately runs in and rolls Test up but since that’s a wrestling move it doesn’t work. On the floor Lashley hits a spear on Test to allow Sabu to hit a Tornado DDT to get the win on him, yet again crushing any semblance of a push that Test could have gotten. Show walks in and a simple chokeslam ends purple pants.

I know this is just listing stuff but there’s maybe 30 seconds between falls, which is counting people coming in, the moves and the counts. That leaves little time for anything else. Kane comes in. Oh in case you lost track, it’s Kane, Cena and Lashley against Finlay and Show. To follow up on that kick, RVD is just now leaving. That’s insane. Kane is 200lbs lighter than Show. That’s even scarier.

During a double choke from the big men, the man known as Little Bastard who will eventually be named Hornswoggle comes in and distracts the referee long enough for Kane to get smacked with the club and then chokeslammed to make this 2-2. This feels like they ran out of time in the middle of the match. Now we get Show against Cena with John being booed badly. After too long of a beating on Cena Lashley gets the hot tag and cleans house.

Show takes both guys down though to set up a pretty bad elimination for Finlay. The Irishman rolls Horny into the ring and is going to use him as a battering ram but Lashley hits a running punch to the ribs which is called a spear. Cena tries to FU Horny but Show stops him. Cena is just flat out hated in this town. Who would have seen that coming?

Once it’s 2-1, I don’t think Show got in any offense at all. Well, that’s a great way to make your champion look just before the first ECW PPV isn’t it guys? After the third Lashley spear of the match (learn some new moves for goodness’s sake) the 500lb FU ends this. Massive celebrations follow.

Rating: D+. What was the point of this? Cena was in the middle of his feuds here and the rest was just kind of a big preview of the awful Chamber match next week. Most of these guys were seemingly thrown together and told to go have a twelve minute Survivor Series match.

WAY too much of this was rapid fire eliminations which rarely if ever work. I really wasn’t too big on this but some cool spots make it ok. Also it’s short, which is a big problem but in another way it’s also the best thing about it. Try having that make sense.

Hey! There’s another PPV in a week and even though Vince is going to announce only two matches and go completely against what the fans are cheering for because he knows better. I mean really think about it. The fans are chanting for Punk despite HHH and HBK and one of the most popular tag teams of all time being in there, but he naturally didn’t get to last as long as that master of the ring, Hardcore Holly. Vince, grow up. You really need to.

We get what I guess you would call a recap of Booker vs. Batista. The idea is simple: Batista has tried twice or so already and hasn’t gotten the belt, so this is his last chance which gives the ending away already. This led to the ridiculously annoying Sharmell shouting ALL HAIL KING BOOKER!, about once every three seconds. It was a decent idea for a drinking game. Batista had been forced to relinquish the title nearly a year ago due to injury and hasn’t gotten it back yet. Yep, that’s about it.

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Batista

Teddy Long comes out and says exactly the same thing I just did, but adds that if Booker is counted out or disqualified Batista gets the belt, again making sure that the ending of the Batista Bomb is set in stone. I’ve always shaken my head over the little spin move that Batista would do when he was jumping up and down. Of course it’s up and down as I don’t think you can jump any other way.

Actually according to AJ Styles’ old music you can jump to the left which you can also do in the Time Warp so there we are. That was a rather pointless rant but whatever. This is a long entrance and I’m not that interested in the match itself. King Booker was either brilliant or a complete failure and I’m still not sure which. If nothing else it gave him an actual gimmick. Before this he was just Booker T.

Cole says the following great line: “There’s the Animal, pacing like a caged animal.” Does that just sound stupid to anyone else? Good grief Booker is slower than Taker when it comes to entrances. Thankfully Batista jumps him so we get to this faster. Wow…this is very boring. There’s just nothing at all out of the ordinary here as it’s just Batista beats on Booker but as he goes for the Bomb Booker hits the floor. Wow how exciting.

This was around the time where Smackdown was almost universally looked down on for being awful and I can certainly see how that’s the conception. It’s been all Batista so far meaning that the Booker comeback is coming very soon. Yep there it is. This is just predictable. JBL tries to make us believe that this is the big match of the show.

There’s a big difference between going on last and being the main event, although there really wasn’t a main event on this card anyway so maybe that’s a fair statement to make. There’s a very limited reaction from the crowd here as for one thing this is in Philadelphia or as it’s more commonly known Smark city #1 or #2 based on your thoughts on New York City.

Batista hits a Jackhammer to even less of a reaction. Sharmell interferes and thereby gives Booker the advantage. After some more generic back and forth stuff we discuss the idea that Teddy Long is trying to get the belt off Booker because he’s racist. Sadly, that’s by far the most entertaining aspect of this match. They keep changing the story about the rules of the title.

At one point it’s he doesn’t get a shot at Booker again, then it’s at the title ever. Make up your minds on the pointless stipulations guys. I’m about to fall asleep from this match as it’s really that bad. Actually it’s not bad, but just boring on so many levels. Batista is treating him like a jobber in ever sense of the word. To up the drama/excitement, which is to say actually have some, Batista hits a shoulder block from the top.

JBL says it’s anyone’s ball game, which explains why Booker has been getting his face kicked in for about five minutes. Booker hits a random Book End so he can use the Spinerooni. Batista pops up and hits the Batista Bomb but Booker grabs the bottom rope. Sharmell interferes (for some reason that word was hard to spell) and Booker misses a belt shot, and Batista nails him with the belt for the title. Wait what? That’s how they’re ending this?

He has Booker more or less dead and he doesn’t even use the freaking Batista Bomb? To even further the stupidity of this, he kicked Booker in the ribs to make him drop the title, so he was in perfect position for the Bomb. That was a stupid ending because it makes Batista look both heelish and weak. That was awful.

Rating: D-. This was AWFUL. It was boring, the ending was never in doubt, and yet they somehow managed to botch that too. Batista breathed life back into the title though as he and Taker would soon start their mega feud over the belt, but seriously, this was the best they could do? It was like a main event for the sake of saying they had a main event which is just stupid. I want my fifteen minutes back! Awful way to end the show, plain and simple.

Overall Rating: C-. Again that’s being generous. The first half of this show is great but after that the whole thing just falls apart at the seams. The second half of this show just doesn’t work at all for me. The two main Survivor Series matches were just not good, plain and simple.

The main event was garbage of the highest degree and the whole show just falls flat for me. There’s some ok stuff here but it really just isn’t working at all for me. The first few matches, mainly the Benoit/Chavo match were actually pretty good. The show just doesn’t feel big at all and it just doesn’t work. I’d avoid it if I were you.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 29, 2006
Location: Tacoma Dome, Tacoma, Washington
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the way to One Night Stand and the top of the show is starting to take place. Given that it isn’t a traditional show, there is a good chance that we won’t be seeing much more than just the two main matches. I’m not sure what we’re going to see on the way there, but Rob Van Dam vs. John Cena needs some build. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the traditional Memorial Day video. That’s always nice to see.

Here’s Vince McMahon to get things going. He gets to the point by saying that losing HHH was like losing one of his own (maybe not the best illustration on Memorial Day) and we see HHH hitting Shane McMahon with the sledgehammer two weeks ago. Shane is still recovering but he has a lot of headaches. As for everything else, Shawn Michaels is no more because of what the Spirit Squad did to him last week.

After looking at Shawn’s knee being destroyed, Vince talks to Shawn at home, suggesting that the fans are chanting various insults at him. There is always a place for Shawn in WWE though. Maybe he could set the ring up or be a timekeeper or something like that. We also look at HHH turning on the Spirit Squad last week, which has Vince flabbergasted. Vince is ready to see HHH’s true colors tonight, as he faces Kenny.

Other than that though, Vince needs to announce a new General Manager, but there is no one who fits the requirements. Instead, here’s his new Executive Assistant: Jonathan Coachman. Coach comes out to announce some matches tonight, including John Cena vs. someone he has never faced before, Edge vs. Big Show, with the winner getting a WWE Title shot at Vengeance, and Shelton Benjamin defending the Intercontinental Title against Kane. Coach thanks Vince for the chance but Vince orders him to get HHH in his office right now.

Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin

Kane is challenging and knocks Shelton down before the bell to start fast. Shelton slips out of a suplex to start and hammers away, which earns him a big boot to the floor. We take a break and come back with Shelton holding a chinlock, thanks to posting Kane while we were away. Shelton kicks him in the head but Kane sits up and hits another big boot. There’s the side slam into the top rope clothesline.

The chokeslam is countered into a rollup but even the feet on the ropes isn’t enough to keep the title. The Dragon Whip is countered as well but the counter is countered into a spinning DDT. Shelton’s Stinger Splash hits Kane’s back so Shelton tries one to his face, which is countered into a chokeslam. That should be it, but here’s Kane’s old music and….a guy in a really bad Kane Halloween costume, complete with the old mask. The real Kane is even more confused and gets chokeslammed as the match was thrown out somewhere in there.

Rating: D+. What we got wasn’t too bad but I don’t see this Kane vs. Kane story going very well. The Undertaker vs. Undertaker idea didn’t work twelve years before this and something tells me that the modern version isn’t going to be better. If nothing else, at least find a better costume. Like the inverted red and black one which always looked great.

Post break, here’s what you saw pre-break, which might not be the best thing to remind the fans about.

Coach is looking for HHH but runs into Armando Alejandro Estrada, who offers Vince his services instead. With Coach gone, Viscera pins Estrada face first against the wall and swears vengeance on Umaga as I try not to imagine various thrusting motions.

HHH comes in to see Vince and tries to calm things down. Vince makes tonight’s main event a Spirit Jack match, with a Spirit Squad member in each corner. HHH: “You would do that for me?” He promises to bring a friend of his own, and happens to have his sledgehammer.

Umaga vs. Viscera

Umaga jumps him before the bell and sends Viscera face first into the ramp. They get in and the Samoan Spike finishes in thirty seconds. They kept cutting to Lilian Garcia because she and Viscera are still a thing.

More See No Evil stuff.

Torrie Wilson/Beth Phoenix vs. Victoria/Candice Michelle

Trish Stratus and Mickie James are the thirds. Beth and Victoria slug it out to start, with Lawler making “trading licks” jokes. Torrie comes in to help Beth with a double chop, followed by the Stink Face. Victoria slams her down and hands it off to Candice for a Vader Bomb. A dancing elbow gets two but another misses, allowing the hot tag to Beth to clean house. Beth knocks Victoria into Mickie and finishes Candice with a Michinoku Driver.

Rating: D. They did what they were trying to do here by introducing Beth and letting her get a win, though you can only get so far with Torrie and Candice working a good chunk of the match. They’re trying to do something new though and just adding Beth and Mickie is a great breath of fresh air. The division has needed that for years so maybe this can help.

Back from a break with Lawler ranting about how bad ECW, including several shots at Tazz, but here’s Rob Van Dam to interrupt. Van Dam doesn’t hit Lawler but does sit in on commentary, suggesting that Lawler hang up his boots like Tazz did. Wouldn’t that be just the same situation that Lawler is in now? Think this stuff through Rob.

John Cena vs. Johnny Nitro

Non-title and the Nitro, with Melina, push begins. That entrance really does make them seem like some of the biggest stars around. Melina gives Nitro a kiss on the cheek to start but Cena punches him in the face to get things going in a hurry. Nitro kicks him down and drops the breakdancing legdrop before hammering away in the corner. Lawler and Van Dam argue about ECW on commentary (you can tell Lawler really didn’t like it and that helps a lot) as Cena makes the comeback (about two minutes into the match), hits all of his signature stuff, and finishes clean with the STFU in a hurry.

Rating: D+. Well ok then. I understand that Nitro, a career tag guy so far, shouldn’t be beating or realistically even hanging with Cena, but maybe they shouldn’t put him against Cena in his singles debut. Aside from the legdrop and a few right hands, this was all Cena, who barely looked like he broke a sweat. I’m not sure I get this, as someone like Chris Masters or any other midcard heel would have been far more expendable and been able to do the same thing.

Cena and Van Dam have a staredown post match until Nitro sidesteps a charging Nitro to send him into Rob.

Here are Mick Foley, with the Hardcore Title, and Paul Heyman, at face to face podiums for a chat. Foley talks about Heyman calling him a prostitute last week and yeah Foley is guilty. If you’re here to see men of principles taking a stand, you’re in the wrong place. The only difference between ECW Mick Foley and WWE Mick Foley is Mick has traded up for a billion dollar pimp in Vince McMahon.

That brings him to One Night Stand, which is where Foley gets upset. How can ECW claim to be hardcore after he and Edge tore the house down at Wrestlemania? Either way, Foley wishes Heyman and his porn addicted, pot smoking band of Mick Foley wannabes with their show. Heyman says that would mean more if it didn’t come from a Terry Funk knockoff. Foley admits that Funk is the greatest wrestler he has ever seen and Dreamer was tough but they couldn’t do what he did. Heyman: “Pull a sock out of their crotch, put it on his hand and entertain Vince McMahon while he was in the hospital?”

Foley says Funk and Dreamer had “Bingo Hall Balls” because they would never venture to WWE (uh…..) and do what Foley did. Foley goes around to Heyman’s side and says you either left ECW as a drunk, a drug addict, a criminal or a corpse. Heyman just resents Foley for becoming the biggest star the industry has ever seen. That’s not true actually, as Heyman’s issue is that Foley is a w****.

However, Heyman wants Foley to understand the new vision for ECW. It isn’t just going to be about flaming tables and piledriving women (Heyman: “We’ll still have some of that.”) but as Foley knows, ECW is coming back full time (if that had been mentioned before, it was completely in passing). Anyone from Raw or Smackdown is welcome to jump over, but Vince has also given him two Draft picks, one from each show.

Foley says the Raw pick is going to be Rob Van Dam, because Rob really was, ahem, a high flier. Heyman: “The Kool-Aid comes in many forms Mick.” As for the Smackdown pick….Foley cuts him off, suggesting that it is going to be a scarred up Mick Foley ripoff. Actually it’s someone ECW has been wanting for some time and he’s here tonight: KURT ANGLE. Foley is ready to fight and is taken down in a heartbeat, setting up the Angle Slam to send Foley leaving.

There’s a lot to unpack here, and that’s a good thing. First of all, these two were the perfect picks for this argument as they are two of the best talkers ever and Foley can easily keep up with Heyman when he’s on. Heyman can get away with calling out Foley’s hypocrisy and make you believe every bit of it, which isn’t something everyone can do.

Then there’s the ECW relaunch, which is a pretty big deal of its own. Having big names come over will help it, but the one thing I always got out of it was that it wasn’t WCW, the AWA, WCCW or something else coming back or some new show. It was ECW, which does say something about the impact that it had. At the very least there was a nostalgia for it, which says a lot about a company that wasn’t really around that long. It’s cool to see it coming back, though I don’t know how much faith you could have put into WWE to do it right, even from here.

This Week In Wrestling History: Andre the Giant debuts, June 1, 1971. Dang it why can’t these clips be on the Network?

Edge vs. Big Show

Lita is here with Edge and the winner gets a World Title shot at Vengeance. JR: “This is a Wrestlemania like environment.” I don’t remember many #1 contenders matches at Wrestlemania. Edge ducks a chop in the corner to start and slugs away but the second chop attempt works rather well. Another chop puts Edge down but Lita grabs Show’s foot so Edge can slug away to no avail.

Show hits Snake Eyes but Edge manages to snap him throat first off the top. The charge sends Show head first into the buckle and Edge manages an Impaler. The spear is countered into a chokeslam attempt so Edge throws the referee down. Edge is sent outside and grabs a chair, which is swatted away. Lita gets in a low blow so now it’s a chair, setting up the spear to finish Show.

Rating: D+. We haven’t been having very good matches tonight but they are accomplishing their goals, which is much more important. Edge cheated over and over here but gets a title match out of it, which I’ll take over them just announcing his shot at Vengeance. This did what it was supposed to do and that is what matters most.

Yet another See No Evil video.

Smackdown Rebound.

HHH, with sledgehammer, runs into Vince, who takes the hammer away and says not tonight.

Kenny vs. HHH

The Spirit Squad is here too. HHH punches him down to start so Kenny bails to the floor. A neck snap across the top rope lets Kenny take over for all of a second before HHH runs him over again. The jumping knee to the arm region looks to set up the Pedigree but Mitch grabs the leg. Mitch is sent hard into the steps and some more of the Squad is knocked down as we take a break.

Back with Kenny still in trouble and HHH beating up the Squad for trying to help him up. The triple teaming puts HHH down for a change and Kenny gets two. A right hand into some choking from the floor sets up another right hand but Kenny is sent shoulder first into the post. More interference lets Johnny kick HHH in the face to give Kenny two and the group stomping is on again.

Back in and Kenny Tunes Up The Band but HHH counters (he’s seen it enough) with a DDT. A low blow cuts HHH down again though and it’s time to wrap the knee around the post a few times. Kenny starts pulling on the knee and drops some elbow but HHH kicks Mikey into the ropes to crotch Kenny down. The facebuster starts the comeback and HHH pounds away in the corner. There’s the spinebuster but the Pedigree attempt is broken up by more distractions. The next attempt is enough to finish Kenny off.

Rating: C-. While it was better than the rest of the matches on the show (the time helped a lot), this was a little bit too much HHH, as not only did he survive the 5-1 beatdown, but he won the match as clean as can be expected. It wasn’t the worst match, but HHH winning over these odds is kind of a lot to take.

Post match the beatdown is still on but HHH whips out a spare sledgehammer. HHH cleans house but here’s Vince to say next week, HHH joins his special club.

Overall Rating: D+. And there goes the hot streak, as they did advance stories in a logical way but it also included so many bad to very bad matches that the storyline stuff was overwhelmed. Throw in the double Kane thing and there was only so much that could be done. The Heyman/Foley showdown was rather good (as you might have guessed), but there were so many things that felt either shortsighted or just dumb that it was knocked backwards. Bad show, and hopefully not the start of a trend.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 22, 2006
Location: Thomas And Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Smackdown has gotten through its pay per view now so it’s time for Raw to get ready for something of its own. In theory at least, as the next show is ECW One Night Stand, which could go in a lot of directions. This show has been a lot better than Smackdown as of late though so hopefully they keep it up here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with HHH accidentally hitting Shane McMahon in the face with a sledgehammer.

Vince McMahon is looking rather serious and says Shane only survived because of superior conditioning and genetics. Tonight, HHH is apologizing and if it is anything less than severe, HHH will incur his wrath.

Here’s Mick Foley, in a suit, to open things up with something covered up in the ring. Mick thanks the fans for their support in light of the strange circumstances over the last few weeks. Contrary to popular belief, he is not a bad guy. He’s the guy who sticks his thumb and says how great it is to be right here in Las Vegas. Except it isn’t, because he doesn’t like a city where you can change your life on a gamble.

People should earn it like he did, because he didn’t become a three time WWE Champion with a roll of a dice. Foley is like this man, so here are Edge and Lita. After kissing Lita’s hand again and is blown away by her lack of a shirt. Anyway, Foley talks about how great of a hardcore match they had and they embody the entire hardcore style instead of what ECW did. That’s why he is giving Edge his Hardcore Title, which was given to him in his retirement ceremony. Edge puts the belt on his shoulder but says he can’t accept it….because he has the hottest girl in Vegas going to bed with him tonight.

Edge talks about everything Foley did for hardcore wrestling and knows Foley should be champion. Foley takes a shot at Ric Flair for calling him a glorified stuntman and earning a Wrestlemania paycheck by not dying in a ladder match. With that out of the way, Foley suggests one more hardcore match tonight to crown the real champion. Edge has a better idea and has Lilian Garcia announce them as co-champions.

Cue Paul Heyman to say he knows it’s legal here, but he’s looking at live prostitution in the ring. He actually doesn’t mean Lita because Mick Foley is prostituting his legacy for Edge and Lita. Foley has prostituted his name and legacy but he isn’t prostituting the name of hardcore. Instead, Foley can tell us what it means to look in the mirror and see a shell of yourself. Foley says he sees a co-holder of the Hardcore Title and a living legend. He finds it ironic that Heyman is talking about someone being a shell of himself because Heyman has nothing.

Heyman says he has no power, but he can make a challenge for One Night Stand: Edge/Mick Foley vs. any two ECW guys Heyman can drag up. Foley tells him to get out so Heyman says Lita is the only one in the ring with any testicles. Lita grabs her crotch but Edge says the match is on. The two of them go after Heyman so here are the opponents for the save: Tommy Dreamer and Terry Funk.

The fight is on and the villains run off from the threat of violence. We get the ECW theme to make it even better, after another step in a perfectly well done story. Dreamer fits in really well here (yeah I said it) and Funk is always game, so this has a lot of potential. The promos have been great too, with Heyman being the only person who could say those things and hang with Foley.

The Diva Search is back. Does it have to be?

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin

Van Dam is challenging and shoulders Benjamin down to start. A floatover suplex gives Rob two but Shelton elbows him in the face. The stepover kick to the face looks to set up Rolling Thunder but Shelton rolls to the floor and we take a break. Back with Van Dam fighting out of a chinlock but Rob fights up and gets two off a sunset flip. Shelton’s neckbreaker gets the same and we’re back in the chinlock with a bodyscissors.

Rating: C+. They were having a nice match and the ending keeps Van Dam hot while keeping the title on Benjamin. That’s as logical of a move as they could have had and I’ll take that over Van Dam losing via cheating. That briefcase seems ready to go and it would make a lot of sense for an ECW wrestler to use that at an ECW show.

Post match Rob gives Shelton a Five Star to make the fans smile.

Vince McMahon is with ZZ Top when Candice Michelle comes in. They seem impressed with her homemade pearl necklace.

We see the same video that opened the show.

Here’s Vince McMahon for a chat. He wastes no time in demanding that HHH get out here right now for the apology. After a few moments, here’s a serious looking HHH. Vince reminds HHH of what Shawn Michaels said to him a few months back, when Shawn told him to move on. HHH might want to remember what happened to Shawn since then before he gets to his apology.

Vince wants him to say two words, so HHH has two words for him: I’m sorry. Those are the right words, but there’s one more thing: HHH has to crush Shawn’s skull with a sledgehammer after the Spirit Squad beats Shawn tonight. HHH shakes his hand and says they have an understanding. Sounds shenanigansy.

Another look at See No Evil. At least it’s in theaters now so we can start getting away from these videos.

Kane says May 19 was the date that his family was killed in a fire but now he can no longer block all the pain. Now he has a movie out where he kills a lot of people and now he gets to let out some anger tonight. He’s never been better.

John Cena vs. Chris Masters

Non-title. Masters punches away to start but gets slammed and elbowed for two. It’s too early for the FU and Masters blasts him with a clothesline to the floor. Back in and the delayed suplex gets two as we have some pro Cena chants. Cena blocks the Masterlock attempt and they crash out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cena slugging away and hitting some clotheslines. The STFU makes Master tap in a hurry, with the post break stuff barely lasting thirty seconds.

Rating: D+. They didn’t have time to do much here but was anyone doubting Cena’s chances against Masters? There is only so much you can get out of Masters in a main event roll because he is a one move wrestler. Cena barely broke a sweat here and that’s how it was supposed to go.

Post match here’s Rob Van Dam to say sup champ. He forced his way into this spot so now he wants his title shot in a place where he isn’t likely to get screwed. Like at One Night Stand. Cena is stunned by this for some reason and the fight is on. Masters tries to jump Cena and is quickly dispatched, allowing Van Dam to use the briefcase for a Van Daminator.

Carlito tries to get Maria to help him cheat in poker. They run into Snitsky, who is trying to hook up with a Las Vegas showgirl. He goes over to talk about her feet and offers her Chinese food and See No Evil. It’s Goldust for your gag of the night, which Carlito dubs “not cool”.

Shawn Michaels wants to know what HHH is thinking. He always respected HHH (oh here we go) but HHH sold his soul to the devil out there. Glaring ensues.

Trevor Murdoch thinks Tom Hanks will get an Oscar nomination over Kane. I think you know where this is going.

Kane vs. Trevor Murdoch

Chokeslam finishes in less than a minute.

The fans request and receive another chokeslam, with Kane adding a third for fun. The fire comes out of the posts….and Kane’s mask is on the screen. In what shouldn’t be a shock, the mask starts talking, saying this started on May 19 and will never be over.

This Week In Wrestling History: Scott Hall jumps the barricade. Again, not on the Network for some reason.

Torrie Wilson vs. Mickie James

Non-title and Torrie has new music. Mickie drives her into the corner to start but Torrie is back with a rollup. The swinging neckbreaker gets two on Mickie and they mistime a hot shot. Mickie hammers away and finishes with the MickieDT before it can get worse.

Post match here’s Trish Stratus to say Beth Phoenix is now part of the roster. Beth jumps Mickie at ringside and the chase is on through the crowd.

Here’s Viscera to say it’s time to settle down….with Lilian Garcia. Lilian gets in the ring and cuts Viscera off, saying he dumped her for Godfather’s ladies the last time they were in Vegas. Viscera has something for her here though: a cheeseburger. See, if they get married in a chapel tonight, she can cook for him every day so he doesn’t have to eat cheeseburgers every day. He drops to a knee but here’s Armando Alejandro Estrada to interrupt. Viscera has a little problem, so here’s Umaga for the brawl, with Viscera being crushed against the post. The beating continues until the Samoan Spike leaves Viscera laying.

Another See No Evil video.

The Spirit Squad tells HHH to stay in the back until they give him a signal. Those are Vince’s orders, and HHH doesn’t seem thrilled.

WATCH ONE NIGHT STAND!

Shawn Michaels vs. Spirit Squad

Non-title and it’s a big pop for Shawn, who comes to the ring with a chair. Hang on though as here’s Vince to say we won’t need a referee or that chair either. The referee takes it away and leaves as the Squad comes in to start the fight in a hurry. The Upsa Daisy plants Shawn and the series of moonsaults has Vince rather pleased on the stage.

There’s a double suplex and a lot of stomping, plus a big running clothesline in the corner (with the Squad providing a double step up). Hold on though as Shawn gets in a few shots before grabbing the chair to even things up a bit. The top rope elbow connects on Mikey and there’s Sweet Chin Music to make it worse. Nicky chairs Shawn’s knee out though and they rip the gear off of his leg.

The fans chant for HHH as the knee brace is taken off. Kenny Pillmanizes the leg with a top rope legdrop so NOW Vince calls HHH down to the ring. Cue HHH with the sledgehammer but Kenny takes it away because he wants to do it. HHH steps in front of him and beats the Squad down himself as we have a face turn (or at least most of one) to end the show.

Rating: D. There wasn’t a ref and there wasn’t an ending so I don’t think you can really call this a match, but the bell did ring. This was more of the same with Vince stacking the deck but this time they changed it up a bit, which is a good way to mix it up. The wrestling wasn’t the point here and it was only a match in the loosest sense of the word anyway.

Overall Rating: B. This show is nailing it as of late as they are doing almost everything you could want in two hours. There are new people being introduced and developed, an interesting main event, some good action and One Night Stand is looking promising. The biggest issue is having too much See No Evil stuff, but I can forgive that well enough. Rather good show here as Raw’s roll continues.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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