On This Day: May 12, 2012 – ROH Border Wars 2012: I Remember Why I Don’t Watch ROH

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Date: May 12, 2012
Location: Ted Reeve Arena, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness

Eddie Edwards vs. Rhyno

Edwards starts with a wristlock followed by an armdrag into an armbar as we seem to be in for a long match here. Rhyno powers him into the corner and pounds away before running Edwards over with a shoulder block. Edwards fights out of the corner with some chops and a rana to put Rhyno down, followed by a baseball slide to send Rhyno into the barricade. The cameraman goes down somewhere in there and Eddie is a bit stunned. Rhyno hits a HARD shoulder to the ribs in the corner and Edwards is in big trouble.

Eddie fires off some chops and superkicks the leg, followed by something close to a Shining Wizard for a close two. The fans are split again because this is REAL WRESTLING, where you cheer for the heels. Edwards avoids a charge to send Rhyno to the floor before hitting an Asai Moonsault, hurting his ribs again in the process. Back in and Edwards hits a missile dropkick for two but walks into a belly to belly suplex. The Gore is blocked with a dropkick and Truth Martini gets up on the apron. He holds up the Book of Truth (foreign object) in the corner but Rhyno has to stop before hitting it, allowing Edwards to roll him up for the pin.

Post match Rhyno grabs Martini but Truth holds up cash. Rhyno takes the money and teases turning on Martini anyway but walks out.

Another glitch: Kelly seems to throw it to a video on the next match but instead we see the end of the previous match.

Young Bucks/Mike Mondo vs. All Night Express/TJ Perkins

Perkins flips around a lot and kicks Matt in the head, but Matt basically no sells it so the Bucks can hit a double superkick on King. Everyone is down now until Mondo breaks up a springboard attempt by King. Matt powerbombs Rhett into a kick to the head from Nick, allowing Mondo to headscissor Rhett into a top rope splash by Matt for two.

Jay Lethal talks about Tommaso Ciampa stalking him in Fort Lauderdale and costing him a match.

Jay Lethal vs. Tommaso Ciampa

Ciampa is part of the Embassy, a heel stable. He jumps Lethal to start but gets pulled out to the floor for a brawl before the bell. Lethal pounds away on Ciampa but Tommaso comes back with a hard chop to send him against the railing. Ciampa lowers his knee pad and charges at Jay, only to slam his own knee into the barricade. He shakes the pain off though and sends Lethal into the barricade a few times but the fans chant for Kevin Steen for no apparent reason. This is all still before the bell.

Another knee to the head in the corner puts Lethal down and there goes the knee pad for several more knees to the head. Lethal counters a powerbomb into an Alabama Slam into the corner but again has to deal with the Embassy leader. A small package gets two for Ciampa (I think) and now Lethal is getting fired up. He goes off on Ciampa and hits a handspring into the ropes into a cutter, apparently called Lethal Injection, for two.

Post match Ciampa screams a lot and storms out.

Mike Bennett vs. Lance Storm

Video on Davey Richards vs. Kevin Steen. The idea is that Richards is unbeatable while Steen is insane and wants to hold the company hostage by winning the world title. Steen went on a path of destruction, leading up to his title match here tonight. Kevin begged Davey for a match but Cornette, the ROH boss, said no. Davey eventually begged Cornette for the match until it was set, which is a great heel move.

Another video on Richards vs. Steen, from the night Davey won the title.

The announcers talk about the remaining four matches.

Adam Cole vs. Michael Elgin

Off to a crossface by Elgin but Adam rolls out, only to be forearmed into the head. Adam pops back up and hits a quick backbreaker for two before going up top. He dives off with a cross body and is caught into a buckle bomb, followed by a helicopter bomb (love that move) for the pin by Elgin.

Martini brags about Elgin winning post match. He tells Elgin that his night is over and to go to the back. Martini stays in the ring to brag about how great it is to be him, only to be superkicked by Cole.

TV Title: Fit Finlay vs. Roderick Strong

Mark hits Haas in the throat with the hockey stick and the Briscos clean house. With the challengers on the floor and the announcer doing the intros, Mark dives on both guys as the brawl really gets going. Back in and the Briscos double team Benjamin as this has been one sided so far. Charlie pulls Shelton to the floor, only to be caught by a double baseball slide from the champions.

Haas is busted open as Mark hits a running swanton off the apron onto Benjamin. An attempt at a second one misses (kind of?) but Mark brings in a wheel from a wheelchair. Jay pounds on Charlie in the ring as Mark goes up, only to be flipped off the top and through a table at ringside. A jawbreaker hits Jay but he comes back with a Death Valley Driver on Shelton. Jay goes up but gets distracted by Haas, allowing Shelton to run up the corner and suplex him down.

Shelton hits a spinebuster off the top for two on Jay as the challengers take over for the first time. Mark tries to come back in with the hockey stick but gets knocked back into the barricade. Charlie and Shelton try to crotch Jay on the post again but Mark makes the save. Mark starts cleaning house and flips Charlie off the top followed by a top rope elbow for two. Jay sends Benjamin to the floor as the fans want tables. Naturally ask and you will receive, as Jay sets one up on the floor.

Jay and Shelton brawl on the apron with Jay loading up something on his hand, only to have Shelton load up a German off the apron. Jay holds on to avoid a nasty case of death, only to hook an electric chair drop to send Jay through the table. Back in the ring Charlie sprays something on a rag and chokes Mark out with it for the pin and titles. It appeared to be ether or something like that.

The announcers rant about how the new champions showed no honor in a fight without honor.

ROH World Title: Kevin Steen vs. Davey Richards

They go to the forearms with Steen being the huge crowd favorite. Richards clotheslines him out to the floor and hits a nice suicide dive to take Steen down again. They head back inside but a distraction by Jacobs allows Steen to DDT Richards as he comes back inside. Steen takes it right back to the floor and sends Davey into the barricade a few times. Richards gets crotched against the post as the referee is considering throwing this out.

Kevin twists and turns enough to be able to turn it into a Sharpshooter of all things but Richards counters into the ankle lock again. Steen crawls over to the corner and pulls the buckle off as Davey pulls him back. Richards screws himself over though as Steen rolls out of the hold, sending Richards face first into the buckle. The package piledriver hits and Steen is the champion.

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Ring of Honor – December 3, 2011 – My Last ROH Review

Ring of Honor
Date: December 3, 2011
Location: Davis Arena, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness

A few weeks ago I saw a graphic on my screen that said that due to a local contract dispute, I might lose the channel that airs ROH. If that happens, I’m done. I know that’s not something I often say, but in this case it’s all I can say. There’s just nothing on ROH that makes me want to keep watching it. From the total lack of psychology to the lack of character development to Davey Richards reaching levels of uninterest I didn’t think existed, I’m probably done with this after Final Battle. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the TV Title situation last week. I still don’t see why Generico is supposed to be part of the title picture but that’s wrestling for you.

The main event is a tag match of course. You do have to give them this: they’re pushing the tag teams like no one else.

Tommaso Ciampa says he’s dominant and awesome. He’s undefeated at this point.

Shiloh Jonze vs. Tommaso Ciampa

Yes it’s spelled that way. Even the announcers admit this is going to be domination. Jonze takes a beating to start but gets in a few punches. Jonze hits a top rope forearm and that’s about it for his comeback attempt. Ciampa hits five running knees in the corner to the head of Jonze so that Project Ciampa can end it at 4:02.

Rating: D. Total squash here and not even a decent one. Ciampa is dominant and a monster, but since we only see him once a month or so, that doesn’t really show us much of him. That’s another issue this show has: people only get to show up once a month other than a handful of guys and that makes it hard to remember who is who.

The Briscoes complain about what happened last week where they were chased into the streets.

The All Night Express says they’re still awesome and that they’ll prove it next week against the champions. It’ll be a proving ground match. Shouldn’t we hear from the champs here? No? Ok then.

Time for the big angle with Steen and Cornette. Cornette insults Steen’s lawyer and then tells Steen that he’s awesome. He says Steen is awesome and wins matches but there’s one problem: he’s crazy. He’s also too whiny (this is Jim Cornette saying this remember) because he always has all these issues. Steen takes all that as a compliment and calls Cornette a hypocrite. He says Cornette hates him because he became a star without Cornette. Steen also runs down Richards again which sounds like a big match they’re planning.

Corino is there too and he’ll make the official offer to Steen. Corino says he caused all this and that he created this monster inside Steen. After Final Battle last year, Corino decided he had to change. Steen’s future is him though, but Corino is cut off before he gets to explain that. Steen goes on a rant against Corino and Jimmy Jacobs (he helped Corino rehabilitate), talking about how they’re as weak as Cornette now.

Corino makes the offer that they have a match at Final Battle. If Steen wins, he’s back in ROH but if Corino wins, he’s gone forever. This will be the old and evil Corino though, for one last time. Jacobs will be the referee according to Cornette and Steen is happy with everything. Steen says it’ll be his Ring of Honor and spits at Corino, prompting a big brawl to end the segment.

Time for Inside ROH.

The TV Title match will now be a triple threat at Final Battle. Bennett almost has to win the title now.

And of course we have to talk about Dan Severn because this is an MMA show in disguise. Edwards says he’ll be ready to beat Richards again. He says he needs to step out of the shadow of Richards again. See right there, that’s ALL you need to say to build this up. Why in the world do we need Severn and the training videos and all that nonsense?

Richards says Severn is a great trainer so Edwards is going to be all awesome and stuff. Also, the whole Severn aspect is out of nowhere as Martini has been in this whole thing since the beginning, but we can’t have Edwards team up with him because that would make too much sense. We need Dan Severn, who is far more famous in MMA than wrestling right?

Strong continues to prove why he should never talk, ranting about how he should be in the main event.

The Blossom Twins, an ROH female tag team of British twins, shill merchandise.

The Young Bucks say they’re awesome already and don’t need to respect anyone. They want to know where their respect is. They make fun of old guys including Booker T because those guys can’t hang with them.

Young Bucks vs. Futureshock

Futureshock is Adam Cole and Kyle O’Reilly. Ok so their names are Matt and Nick. Got it. We’ll say that’s Nick vs. Cole to start us up. They fly around a lot and then O’Reilly has to get in his strikes because he’s part of Team Richards. We finally get down to O’Reilly vs. Matt but the Bucks cheat to take over. We take a break and come back with the Bucks beating down O’Reilly even more.

Nick goes up but a top rope splash hits knees. Hot tag brings in Cole who hits a double dropkick to take over. He easily fights off both Bucks, including a sweet wheelbarrow suplex to Nick to send him back first into the barricade. Top rope cross body gets two on Matt. O’Reilly hits his rolling butterfly suplexes and Futureshock takes over. The Bucks avoid the finishing sequence and hit a bunch of kicks, including a double superkick for two on Cole.

Futureshock avoids More Bang For Your Buck and hits an overly complicated finishing sequence into a guillotine choke by Kyle. Nick comes in and punches and kicks him in the head a bunch which doesn’t break it. Does he think he’s Meng or something? He puts it back on but Matt still won’t tap. Nick hits a slingshot Edge-O-Matic to break it up and now More Bang For Your Buck hits for pin at 13:18.

Rating: C. Pretty fun match here but the no selling at the end reminded me of what I can’t stand about ROH. The tag division here really is the best as far as getting focus. I don’t know if I’d say it’s the best, but at least here you constantly get to see it week in and week out, which for tag fans is a nice change of pace.

Overall Rating: C-. This was one of their better shows in awhile, but that’s probably because people like the world champion weren’t on it. This interminable build to Final Battle is killing me and it’s going to wind up being a show like I can’t stand which is what most ROH megashows are to me. Not a bad TV show, but pretty weak overall.

With this, I’m done. I’m sorry but I do not like ROH enough to keep watching it and reviewing it. I don’t like the style, the production bores me to death, the storylines do nothing for me at all, and in short I don’t like it. I’ve said for years that I’ll stop doing these when they stop being fun for me and I’ve reached that point. I might take another look at this in the future, but for now I’m done.

Results
Tommaso Ciampa b. Shiloh Jonze – Project Ciampa
Young Bucks b. Futureshock – More Bang For Your Buck to O’Reilly

 

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