HIDDEN GEM: Summerslam Spectacular 1993: Better Than The Pay Per View

Summerslam Spectacular 1993
Date: August 22, 1993
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Gorilla Monsoon

This is a special used to hype up Summerslam and since the 1993 edition is the kind of show that needs all the help it can get. The big match here is the Steiner Brothers defending the Tag Team Titles against Money Inc. inside a cage, which has a good bit of potential. Let’s get to it.

Jim Ross welcomes us to the show and runs down the card.

Yokozuna vs. Jim Duggan

Yokozuna’s WWF Title isn’t on the line and Jim Cornette is not in his corner for some reason. Instead it’s just Mr. Fuji, which is quite the downgrade. Duggan is in his weird singlet phase here and it never looks right. We see a quick shot of Duggan holding his newborn daughter as commentary is already talking about Lex Luger. Duggan jumps him from behind to start and hammers away but the referee takes the 2×4 away, allowing Yokozuna to superkick him down.

Yokozuna chokes away and sends Duggan outside, meaning Duggan’s eyes bug out as they had a tendency to do. That doesn’t seem to bother Yokozuna as he knocks Duggan down and drops the huge leg. Duggan gets caught in a bearhug and we take a break. Back with Duggan biting his way out of the bearhug so Yokozuna chokes away in the corner again. Yokozuna misses a charge though and Duggan slugs away before finally dropping the monster with a clothesline. The three point clothesline is loaded up but Fuji grabs the leg, allowing Yokozuna to get in a shot from behind. The Banzai Drop finishes Duggan at 12:01.

Rating: D+. This was mostly a squash until the ending, when it was almost literally a squash. Yokozuna was on an absolutely amazing roll at this point and having him destroy Duggan was a great way to go. Duggan is someone who can be sacrificed for America because it is a story that works so well. This was Duggan’s last match with the company for over ten years, but

Post match Yokozuna is a bit tired so Cornette pops up to yell about how Luger is going to beg Cornette and Fuji to call Yokozuna off at Summerslam. Cornette was bringing the fire as only he can here.

Video on Ted DiBiase trying to humiliate Razor Ramon with money, causing some bad results. DiBiase wanted to beat up 1-2-3 Kid to make things better but got pinned in a major upset.

Razor Ramon vs. Blake Beverly

Blake talks trash and gets a toothpick in the face so Blake slaps him in the face. The threat of a right hand sends Blake outside before coming back in for a headlock. Blake pulls the hair but Ramon pulls his a lot harder to escape. The punches into the discus punch rock Blake but he gets in a shot of his own to put Ramon on the floor.

Blake takes off the turnbuckle pad and whips Ramon hard into the steel as this is WAY more competitive than I would have bet on/it should be. A powerslam gives Blake two and he clotheslines Ramon right back down. Ramon whips him into the exposed buckle though and finishes with the Razor’s Edge at 6:17.

Rating: D+. Am I missing something or was this more about Blake than Ramon? I’m not sure why you would want to push half of a low level TV guy but this was a rather strange time for the company. I don’t know what they were going for here but it really did not do much good for Ramon, who is a bit of a bigger star than Blake Beverly (now Beau would have made sense but not Blake).

We look at Lex Luger getting off of the Lex Express and meeting some fans.

Jerry Lawler is in a pink Cadillac with an Elvis impersonator who insists that he is the real one. He was having dinner with JFK the other day and talking about how bad things were, which Lawler says is the same as people like Bret Hart taking a shortcut. It’s time to go for a drive.

Bret Hart is sick of Lawler talking about his family and he doesn’t even want his parents at Summerslam to see this beating.

Smoking Gunns/Tatanka vs. Reno Riggins/Barry Horowitz/Brooklyn Brawler

Billy knees Riggins down to start and Bart comes in to crank on Brawler’s arm. Tatanka comes in to crank on the arm as well but Billy comes back in to suplex Riggins down for two. Horowitz gets his own turn and snapmares Billy into a knee drop as we actually have a face in peril here. Riggins and Horowitz take turns on Billy in the corner before Brawler rakes the eyes over the top rope. Billy forearms his way to freedom and brings Tatanka back in to clean house. Everything breaks down and a high crossbody finishes Riggins at 5:03.

Rating: C. Another nothing to see match here which has been the case all show long so far. The Gunns and Tatanka are warming up for a six man against Bam Bam Bigelow and the Headshrinkers but I’m not sure how much of a success this really was. It didn’t go as long, but Billy was beaten down for a good chunk of the match and that isn’t the most inspiring match.

More of Luger and the fans.

Undertaker comes out to talk about how Giant Gonzalez’s day of reckoning is at hand. He may have no Paul Bearer or Urn but he has the Creatures Of The Night. As for what a Rest In Peace match is, it involves him pulling out Gonzalez’s organs to take his soul. I’ll let you get your mind around that as Giant Gonzalez and Harvey Wippleman come out, tell Undertaker he’ll lose, and then leave.

Luger, fans, again.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Bob Backlund

Shawn is defending and commentary continues their eternal hype of Michaels vs. Mr. Perfect at Summerslam (that went on FOREVER and there was no way they could have lived up to the hype). Shawn takes him down to start and gets in a slam before chilling on the top rope. Backlund is back up with a rather delayed slam into a backslide for two and Shawn needs a breather on the floor.

We take a break and come back with Shawn hammering away on Backlund for two and grabbing a front facelock. The comeback is on and there’s the big atomic drop but Diesel grabs the referee. Shawn uses the distraction to grab a small package with trunks for the pin at 9:54.

Rating: C-. Backlund was still in his aww shucks period here and Shawn was still on his way to greatness so they weren’t ready for a really good one yet. Also, this was hardly even a competitive match as Shawn dominated for the most part before cheating to win. These two could do something good under better circumstances, but they didn’t have those here.

We get a sitdown interview with Lex Luger, who talks about being an athletic kid growing up but then he started seriously training and learning and here he is today. The lesson is to keep working at things and eventually you can get to your goals. He wants to be an inspiration to everyone so don’t believe you can’t do something. Lex Luger is telling you to believe you can do anything. They really just had him say that.

Ludvig Borga is ready to destroy Marty Jannetty at Summerslam and wants to destroy everyone here.

Marty Jannetty vs. Duane Gill

Jannetty starts fast by cranking on the arm and takes him down into an armbar. A superkick sets up a backdrop and we hit the chinlock. Gill fights up and catches him on the top, only to get caught in a front flip faceplant (reverse Blockbuster). The top rope fist drop finishes Gill at 3:21.

Rating: D+. Now this felt like a bit of a warmup match and that is not something we have seen much of tonight. I’m not sure how much value there is in having Borga beat Jannetty but he is going to need something in there. Jannetty was still warm from winning the Intercontinental Title earlier in the year so Borga gets something out of it, but this wasn’t a great one.

We go to the Summerslam Control Center where Gene Okerlund runs down the card. I miss this kind of thing and it could still work today.

Tag Team Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Money Inc.

The Steiners are defending in a cage with escape only. The Steiners go after DiBiase to start but IRS’s quick escape attempt is broken up without much effort. Money Inc. cuts off the champs as well so DiBiase goes up, only to get pulled down by the tights (I think you know what happens as a result). With the Steiners down, IRS goes up but Scott catches him and goes over the top, only to have DiBiase suplex him back in. Scott gets knocked down again and Rick’s escape attempt is cut off as well. The Steiners are right back with some shots to the face and go up, only to get pulled back in a hurry.

We take a break and come back with Rick suplexing IRS off of the cage and Scott sending DiBiase face first into the cage. DiBiase and Scott fight on the top but they switch places with DiBiase pulling Rick down, turning him upside down in the process for a cool visual. IRS gets whipped hard into the corner but Scott has to pull him down into an electric chair.

Some rams into the cage allow IRS and Scott to climb out at the same time but IRS comes back in to jump Rick. Scott isn’t about to be one upped and comes off the top of the cage with an ax handle to IRS’s head. DiBiase pulls Rick back down by the headgear and we take another back. Back again with Scott on the floor, leaving Rick down 2-1. Scott comes back in for the second time and watches IRS climb out again as Rick catches DiBiase on top again.

DiBiase winds up hanging by his feet from the cage but Rick isn’t smart enough to take the win. Even Gorilla isn’t sure why they would do something so stupid so both Steiners go up at once. That brings IRS back in (this cage isn’t much of a deterrent) for another save but Rick gets up over the top…..and comes back in to help Scott AGAIN. Rick gets out again and IRS tries to escape as well but Rick catches him on his shoulders. DiBiase escapes and hammers away but Scott gets out to retain at 25:00.

Rating: B. There were some weird moments in the thinking there but they didn’t stop with the violence and brawling, which is the idea of a cage match like this. Above all else, this was definitely different and I like that quite a bit. This would be it for Money Inc., making me wonder why this wasn’t on the pay per view instead, because it would have been better than almost anything else on the show.

Men on a Mission and Rapping Randy (Savage) sing some Lex Luger praises to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The main event more than carries this and while the show felt like a glorified Raw (which it pretty much was), it felt like something special. It didn’t exactly make me want to see the pay per view, but it had a great main event and covered every match on the show. That’s a lot better than most commercials and I’ll take that every single time.

 

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WrestleReunion VI: They Got The Idea Right

WrestleReunion VI
Date: January 28, 2012
Location: The Westin Los Angeles Airport, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Excalibur, Marty DeRosa

I’m not completely sure on the name of this show as I’ve seen it as both WrestleReunion VI and Pro Wrestling Superstars: Los Angeles but I’ll take the one with Roman numerals. As you can probably guess, it’s a big time indy reunion show featuring a bunch of wrestlers from years past, which can make for some interesting matchups but often some lackluster performances. Let’s get to it.

Here are Mick Foley and Mike Tyson to open things up so there is certainly some star power. Foley talks about his history with Tyson and mentions being a guest referee tonight. Now usually he promises to call a match right down the line and tonight he’s refereeing the New Age Outlaws vs. the Steiner Brothers. This time though Foley needs our help “because Rick Steiner has never liked me and Scotty is out of his f****** mind.” I’ve been watching Mick Foley for about thirty years and I don’t think I can remember three times I’ve heard him use an F bomb. I mean he’s right, but it’s rare.

Usually he’s going to get physically involved, but tonight he isn’t crazy enough to do that. This time though, he has Mike Tyson watching his back so he’s safe to head to St. Louis for the Royal Rumble (that gets a heck of a pop). Tyson takes the mic and talks about various wrestlers he likes, including Billy Graham and Sid Vicious. I really can’t make out most of what he’s saying, but that’s Tyson for you.

We get our first commentary and…..well actually Excalibur is quite good at this kind of show so it should be fine.

Arik Royal vs. Adam Page

This is one of the things I love about watching old shows because Page is 21 years old here and absolutely nothing. Excalibur tells DeRosa to calm down a bit and save some energy, which makes me chuckle for reasons of the future. The bigger Royal goes after the arm to start as commentary actually talks about something interesting, with a discussion of the pressure of having to follow Foley and Tyson.

Royal hits a headscissors into an armdrag but misses the backsplash, allowing Page to miss a standing shooting star. We get a standoff for a bit until Royal nails a spinwheel kick. Royal goes up but dives into a dropkick to the floor. Page tries a running shooting star off the apron and hits Royal’s chest with his head for a nearly terrifying landing. Page takes his necklace back and goes inside…..but we’ve got VADER. I think we’ll call this a no contest at about 4:00 as this is going to be a massacre.

Rating: C-. The ratings are going to be a little bit lighter this time around as this is a one off legends show and not about the match quality. I’ve seen Royal before and he did fine in both matches so he seems to have a little something going for him. Then there’s Page, who would go on to become a huge star on national television. That’s one of the things I love about watching a show like this: seeing someone who is nothing here but would go on to bigger things. Not much of a match of course, but VADER, so we’re fine.

Royal jumps Page post match….and then decides to go after Vader. Well maybe that’s why Page became a bigger star. Vader runs him over so Page tries to come in for a German suplex. Excalibur: “ARE YOU ANTONIO INOKI PAGE???” Destruction ensues but Royal gets up to help double team Vader in the corner.

A double suplex isn’t happening though and Vader mauls Royal again. Royal manages to trap Vader’s arms so Page can go up….but then Vader breaks free and hits Royal in the head. Page gets caught on top and it’s there’s a Vader Bomb. Royal gets chokeslammed and Page gets powerbombed as the Vader stuff went on a good bit longer than the match itself.

New Age Outlaws vs. Steiner Brothers

The only meeting ever here, with Mick Foley (“The hardcore legend and friend of Mike Tyson!”) as guest referee. Road Dogg does his usual stuff and hands it off to Billy Gunn to take it home. Gunn: “IF YA SMELL……” Hang on because that’s not right. Gunn knows he screwed up so let’s try it again. Gunn: “AND THAT’S THE BOTTOM….” No again, but he gets it right on the third time. You can tell he’s serious here too because he’s in the Kip James trunks. Then we get very serious because Scott Steiner grabs the mic and drops his first homophobic slur of the night.

We get a few F bombs to the fans and it’s time to go. Actually hang on because Foley realizes that he’s in over his head here and says he’ll be cowering in the corner. Billy and Scott finally get things going with Scott unloading in the corner. Well at least hitting some slow knees to the ribs. Billy fights out of the corner by punching Scott in the face and it’s off to Dogg. Rick comes in with a double clothesline though and we get the old Steiner Brothers pose.

The Outlaws bail to the floor (Wouldn’t you?) until we settle down to Rick biting Dogg’s pants in the corner. That’s enough to send Dogg outside to ring the bell because he isn’t standing for Rick’s tongue going…..uh, somewhere. Dogg: “I’m not saying we can’t have a drink later and talk about it, but in here, I’m not standing for it!” Ring announcer: “Ladies and gentlemen, referee Mick Foley has just informed me that he is authorizing tongue in the a** for this match!”

We settle back to Rick backing Billy into the corner, with Gunn’s trunks coming down a good bit in the process. Gunn gets in a right hand but misses a charge in the corner, allowing Rick to bite him right in the middle of the back of the trunks. That sends Gunn over to grab Dogg around the waist, giving us the expected reaction. It’s off to Dogg, who wants Scott for no logical reason. He has to stay with Rick, who he drives into the Steiner corner so Scott can come in for some shots to the ribs. Well he got what he wanted.

Dogg’s bouncing punches manage to put Scott down for two, with the fans saying YOU STILL GOT IT. I’ll let you figure out which one they’re talking about. Scott is back with a spinning belly to belly suplex and Rick gets in some choking from the apron. Foley: “MIKE TYSON FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHERE ARE YOU???” Scott suplexes Dogg and goes into the pushups, earning a cheer despite not being so nice earlier in the night.

Rick slaps on the crossface of all things as Marty gets his Mike Tyson history wrong (by saying that Mike Tyson called Steve Austin “Cold Stone” on Raw when it was at the Royal Rumble). Dogg fights up and gets the hot tag off to Gunn for some house cleaning. The belly to belly cuts that off and it’s time for Scott to get in Foley’s face. That means Mr. Socko…..who goes flying after a single Scott glare. The distraction lets Gunn hit the Fameasser for a pretty fast three at 11:32.

Rating: C. All things considered, this was not half bad whatsoever. They were actually working a bit and while of course it wasn’t great (they’re old and mainly retired), they did some goofy stuff to bridge the gap. The Foley being scared stuff helped a lot and I liked it well enough. For a one off dream match, I’ve seen far, far worse.

Post match Rick finds Socko and has some Alex flashbacks (look it up).

Colt Cabana vs. Fit Finlay

Under World Of Sport (British) rules and a fan who won an auction gets to handle the introductions. There are three five minute rounds and you can win by pin, submission or knockout. There are no closed fists allowed either, which probably won’t make that much of a difference but it’s certainly a rule. Another fan gets to be Cabana’s corner man but Cabana says we’re about two minutes away. The referee goes over the rules, with Cabana asking if a kick low is legal (Cabana: “WHAT ABOUT A KICK TO THE D***?”).

We get the bell to start the first round, as commentary still hasn’t actually explained the rules here. Finlay grabs Cabana’s leg so Cabana bails into the corner in a hurry as commentary explains the idea of the Troubles in Northern Ireland. A shot to the face rocks Cabana again and the corner man has to check on his face.

That seems to be ok so Finlay takes him down into a toehold. Finlay grabs a nerve hold and ribs at Cabana’s face because he’s kind of an awesome villain. Back up and Finlay starts in on the arm, with commentary almost calling Finlay a grizzled young veteran (like that would ever work for a UK wrestler). Cabana finally comes back with a headlock takeover and one fan calls it boring. Round one ends but Cabana doesn’t want to let go of the headlock that he worked so hard to get in the first place.

After the corner man gives Cabana some water and towels him down, we’re ready to go with round two. Some uppercuts rock Cabana as Excalibur says he suffers from knowitallism. Finlay stomps on the fingers and kicks him in the face before sending Cabana outside for a needed breather. The corner man adds some slaps (despite NOT being in the corner) and we get some Cabana sneering. Finlay heads outside to yell at a fan so Cabana tells the corner man to slap Finlay in the face.

Thankfully that isn’t going to happen so Finlay doesn’t get to do something so horrible that I can’t come up with a good metaphor for the level of violence. Back in and Finlay hits some elbows to send him outside, setting up a whip into the barricade. They get back inside for some arm cranking/stomping into a keylock to keep Cabana down. The round ends with Finlay evening things up by not letting go of the arm either, which does not seem good for Cabana either.

Finlay goes extra evil by jumping Cabana during his meeting with the corner man. The Fujiwara armbar goes on to start the third round but Cabana fights up. That earns him an arm first whip into the corner and it’s back to the armbar with a knee in the shoulder. A Jake Roberts short arm clothesline sets up the running seated senton but Cabana reverses into a sunset flip for a creative counter. The Flying Apple (which might not have been named yet) connects but it’s too early for the Billy Goat’s Curse. Finlay kicks him shoulder first into the post and then does it again for a bonus. The Celtic Cross finishes Cabana at 15:16.

Rating: C. This didn’t really feel like some kind of special British match as it was really just Finlay working the arm and the a regular finish. The rounds didn’t change much either and I was a bit disappointed with the whole thing. It was fine as a regular match, but they seemed to be going for something special here and it just wasn’t there.

7OH!4 vs. Unholy Alliance

7OH!4 is Caleb Konley/Cedric Alexander, with commentary saying they are the next CM Punk/Colt Cabana or Motor City Machine Guns. Eh they were names but hold on a second there. The Alliance is Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck, former ECW Tag Team Champions but unfortunately minus James Mitchell/Sinister Minister. Konley grabs a wristlock on Mikey to start but he’s right back with a hiptoss into a headscissors despite not being the size of a guy you would expect to use a headscissors.

We hear about some rookie named Zack Ryder to come out of Mikey’s school as Tajiri comes in to a rather big reaction. Tajiri misses a swinging kick to Alexander’s face so it’s a hammerlock to take Alexander down instead. Back up and Alexander’s headlock doesn’t work and Tajiri starts firing off the kicks to the arm. Mikey comes in to pick Alexander up so Tajiri can nail a dropkick to the face. There’s a double gutbuster to Konley and stereo kicks to the head have him on the floor as the fans are rather pleased.

Mikey’s slingshot dive takes out both of them and the referee begins a rather slow count. Tajiri however won’t dive so Mikey comes back in and gets enziguried into a Downward Spiral for two (with Excalibur getting in the beta version of combiNATION, because I can’t escape the thing). Konley grabs the cravate to hold Mikey down for a bit, followed by the basement clothesline to give Alexander two. Tajiri spits at Alexander (with commentary thinking it’s Konley) and it’s a double Russian legsweep to drop Mikey for two.

Hold on though as Tajiri comes in to….pull Mikey’s pants up and then head back to the apron. Well at least he’s polite. Embracing the power of raised pants, Mikey superkicks Alexander (THE PANTS WORKED!) and it’s back to Tajiri to clean house. Everything breaks down and Tajiri’s superkick gets tow on Konley. Mikey snaps off a pretty nice Frankensteiner on Alexander and a low makes it worse. The referee checks on Alexander and Tajiri mists Konley, setting up the Whippersnapper for the pin at 10:19.

Rating: C+. I know Mikey and Tajiri were a big deal in the dying days of ECW but they were a rather nice team who still looked good here. You don’t get something like that very often and it was fun to see them working so well. Alexander and Konley were still really young here so losing to a team with some credibility, even if it was twelve years old at this point, was fine. Pretty good match here too so well done on a little surprise.

Demus 3:16 vs. Mascarita Dorado

Minis match and Dorado is better known as El Torito. Demus is a good bit bigger and is probably about Rey Mysterio size. A wristdrag takes Demus down to start and frustration is already setting in. Demus knocks him down without much effort so Dorado starts rolling around as we hear about the WWF Light Heavyweight division. Dorado pulls him into the cross armbreaker but Demus powers him up with ease because the size difference is a bit much here.

Back up and a rather spinning headscissors sends Demus outside, setting up the big suicide dive. Dorado manages to throw him back inside for a fireman’s carry, which is a little more impressive than you might think. A fireman’s carry slam sets up a moonsault but the second moonsault only hits raised boots. Demus grabs a tilt-a-whirl into a Dominator (cool) and there’s a giant swing to send Dorado down again. They head outside with Dorado being dropped onto the timekeeper’s table and Demus takes him back in for a pop up powerslam.

There’s a heck of a toss as Excalibur talks about Wolverine debuting back in the 1960s. Dorado bounces up out of the corner with a double springboard headbutt, followed by a crazy spinning (as in he spins around Demus about ten times) into a headscissors to the floor. That earns the HOLY S*** chant, setting up the top rope hurricanrana to take Demus down again. Back in and a top rope hurricanrana, with Dorado landing on his feet because, sets up another very spinning hurricanrana into a small package for the pin at 8:04.

Rating: C+. Yeah this was fun and Dorado is one of those things that has to be seen to be believed. He can do all kinds of stuff out there and makes it look easy, which is about as cool as you can get. Demus was a good target for Dorado as he is so much bigger, allowing Dorado to do all of his spots out there. Throw in getting in and out fairly fast and this was a lot of fun. Not great, but it was the kind of match that fit in perfectly on a show like this.

Dorado having a salsa version of the Mission Impossible theme makes it even better. The fans throw in the money so Dorado slaps him in the face with a dollar. That might seem rude, but Demus picks the dollar up and, ahem, cleans himself with it so Dorado is better….I guess?

Tommy Dreamer vs. Kevin Steen

Street fight and for you younger people, Steen is better known as Kevin Owens. The fans seem split here and it’s an exchange of hammerlocks to start. Dreamer’s shoulder bounces off of Steen (Steen: “IN YOUR DREAMS!”) and it’s time to hammer on Dreamer for a bit. Steen drop toeholds him down and hits the flipping legdrop to the back of Dreamer’s head. Back up and Dreamer kicks him low in the corner to send Steen outside, setting up the running flip dive off the apron.

A bottle of water to the head rocks Steen again but Dreamer gets crotched on the barricade because Dreamer spends too much time pointing at the crowd (as Dreamer tends to do). They brawl through the crowd and Steen hits him over the back with a well stolen crutch. Dreamer gets taken up onto a camera table and gets knocked down onto (not through) another table in a big crash. Back into the crowd with Dreamer hitting him in the head with a Steen DVD.

Dreamer sends him into the barricade and then heads backstage to grab the usual assortment of weapons. A hockey stick to the back rocks Steen again and there’s….something made of wood over Steen’s head. Dreamer gets sent into a plastic tray in the corner and Steen hits him in the knee with a stick. The Sharpshooter goes on (because Steen is Canadian) but is broken up in a hurry. Dreamer misses a charge into the post so Steen puts a stop sign over him to set up the Cannonball, which is not the brightest move in the world.

That lets Steen tie him in the Tree of Woe and this isn’t going to end well. Indeed, as Steen hits a running dropkick to a chair in the face. Commentary starts making Steven Segal references as Dreamer catches him on top with a superplex. Dreamer wins the big slugout so Steen goes low in a smart move. The Even Flow gets two but Dreamer catches him on top to break up a moonsault.

Now it’s Steen in the Tree of Woe so Dreamer can hit him low with a stick. There’s the running basement dropkick to drive a stop sign into Steen’s face and now it’s time to grab a piece of barricade. That takes too long though and Steen superkicks him off the apron. The fans want to see someone use a hammer but they settle for Dreamer kicking a rope for a low blow. With nothing else working, one of the fans gives Dreamer a HUGE hammer, which he uses to crush the bell between Steen’s legs. Steen is fine enough to shove Dreamer onto the piece of barricade inside and a Swanton finishes Dreamer at 19:24.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty hard hitting street fight, though it did run a good bit longer than it should have. What mattered here was the idea of the old hardcore legend vs. the new breed and that worked out rather well. I’m not wild on these matches most of the time but this one was pretty fun, which is about all you can hope for in this kind of a situation.

Post match Steen is ready to say something to Dreamer but Raven runs in to hit Steen low and DDT Dreamer for old times’ sake. Steen to Raven: “You’re a f****** a**hole!” Steen to Dreamer: “Thank you.”

Intermission, which is cut from the video.

Roderick Strong vs. Jake Manning

Manning is an adult Manscout and comes out to a John Cougar Mellencamp song, which I believe was used in the Waterboy. After Manning gives the referee some lessons on how to properly call a match, he takes Strong down to the mat for a headscissors. They grapple on the mat for a bit with Strong getting the better of things but that is broken up in a hurry. Manning takes him back down by the arm as commentary talks about how it might be difficult to find footage on Manning, who rarely leaves the southeast.

Strong is back up with a shot to the face and unloads with the chops in the corner. A belly to back suplex sets up a chinlock on Manning but he’s right back up with a kick to the face. Manning drops an elbow for two and drives Strong into the corner for the choking. They head outside with Manning sending him into the apron for two, setting up the next chinlock. That’s broken up as well and they go with a pinfall reversal sequence for some near falls each. Strong is back up with a dropkick and they’re both down for a breather.

It’s Strong up first with a bunch of running forearms into a belly to back suplex for two more. Manning comes back with an (oddly appropriate for reasons that I can’t figure out) airplane spin. Strong isn’t having that and hammers away but Manning is right back with a backbreaker into a Downward Spiral for three. Only two of them count though due to the foot being on the rope though, meaning Strong can come back with an enziguri. The Angle Slam gets two and it’s the backbreaker into the Sick Kick to finish Manning at 11:04.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of match that I like to see on a show like this, as Strong is a much bigger name than Manning but they went back and forth well enough here to make you believe that Manning could pull it off. The match worked well as Strong can have a good match against anyone and Manning held up his end despite being known for little more than his gimmick. Good stuff here, with a nice battle of the generations.

Davey Richards vs. Harry Smith

That would be Davey Boy Smith Jr., freshly released from WWE, and this could be interesting. They go with the technical exchange to start (shocking I know) with Richards getting him down into a modified surfboard and rolling him up for two. That’s broken up for a standoff and they lock up, with Smith absolutely towering over Richards. It’s back to the mat with Smith grabbing a short armscissors and rolling him around a bit.

That’s reversed into something like an Indian Deathlock from Richards to crank on the leg. Make that a Muta Lock with commentary thinking Richards would do well at Subway. Smith slips out and cranks him down by the arm, setting up a full nelson. That’s broken up as well as Richards rolls out with an armdrag, only to get pulled into a spinning belly to belly for two. More arm cranking has Richards down again but he sends Smith to the floor. There’s the running kick to the chest from the apron, setting up the suicide dive.

Back in and a missile dropkick sends Smith into the corner. It’s time to start working on the leg, with Davey kicking away and grabbing a Trailer Hitch. Richards stomps on both knees at once and it’s a dragon screw legwhip into a half crab. Now it’s an STF as the fans start shouting various things. Smith fights up and kicks him into the corner, setting up a powerslam for two.

Smith crotches him on top and grabs a delayed superplex for a slightly delayed near fall. A superkick and a powerbomb give Smith two more each but Richards kicks him down again. The top rope double stomp gets two and we hit the ankle lock. That’s broken up with a roll into the post, allowing Smith to grab a cross armbreaker. Richards rolls into another ankle lock, which Smith reverses into one of his own.

The grapevined version is countered into a Sharpshooter, which Smith reverses into his own Sharpshooter. Smith grabs a small package for two but Richards BLASTS him with a knee for the same. Back up and Smith tries a powerbomb but Richards reverses into a sunset flip. Smith sits down on it ala his dad against Bret Hart, only to have Richards slip out into a cradle for the pin at 17:26.

Rating: B. It was good action throughout and Smith looked good in defeat, but egads I had forgotten how hard it is to get invested in a Richards match. He is so ultra serious all the time, though at least he wasn’t doing his “get kicked in the head and scream a lot without selling anything” and writing it off as strong style. This got the crowd going and I certainly didn’t hate it though, which is some high praise for a Richards match.

Post match Richards says he can’t believe the people up north let Smith go. Richards talks about the similarities between the two of them, including idolizing the same people growing up. Respect is shown and Smith says it’s better to hear these fans chant his name instead of Michael Cole every Monday night. Wrestling will always be #1 for him, even if he jumps into MMA (which he didn’t).

El Generico/Great Sasuke vs. Young Bucks

The Bucks are actually young here and come out to MMMBop, which is rather frustrating. Matt does the Randy Savage finger spin and Nick parodies the Spinarooni (there’s your 90s reference). The fans go NUTS for Generico and it’s a shame that he retired so soon after this. You know Excalibur is right there with all of the Sasuke history because this is his thing.

Generico reveals a half Generico/Sasuke mask and takes Nick down to start. An exchange of wristlocks goes nowhere so Nick drives him into the corner and starts in on the arm again. We hear about how completely and utterly amazing the Bucks are as Sasuke comes in to headlock Nick. Some kicks to the ribs have little effect on Sasuke (the only time Sasuke and Rick Rude will be compared), who elbows Nick in the head. Generico comes back in and gets taken into the corner so Matt can talk a lot of trash.

A few quick armdrags have Matt in trouble as we hear about Sasuke making a documentary about mouthwash (or something). Generico hammers away on Matt in the corner and fires off chops against the ropes for a bonus. Matt is back with the headscissors to hold Generico in place, allowing Nick to kick him in the mask and into the barricade. Back in and Matt laughs at Generico, setting up the slow motion stomping.

We hit the front facelock until Nick comes back in for some shots in the corner. A handspring rake to the back sets up a slingshot hilo as Excalibur talks about how the Young Bucks have a supernatural feel for the DMZ on the thirty third parallel in the ring. Generico rakes the Bucks’ chests to escape but it’s still too early for the tag. Matt’s waistlock keeps Generico in trouble but he manages the exploder suplex into the corner.

That’s enough for the hot tag to Sasuke to clean house as everything breaks down. Sasuke dropkicks Nick through the ropes and Generico hits the big running flip dive to crush Matt. Back in and a Blockbuster gets two on Matt and Sasuke takes a LONG time to go up for a Ram Jam (from The Wrestler), allowing Matt to roll away. The Bucks take turns kicking Sasuke in the back of the trunks but it’s back to Generico for the Blue Thunder Bomb to Nick.

The Helluva Kick is broken up but Nick kicks Matt in the head but mistake. Sasuke crushes Nick with a springboard missile dropkick, only to have Nick low bridge him to the floor. A wheelbarrow faceplant gives Matt two on Generico and Risky Business gets the same. More Bang For Your Buck is countered into a half and half suplex and Sasuke is back with a powerbomb to Nick. Matt superkicks Sasuke though and everyone is down again.

Nick comes back in to knee Sasuke off the apron but Generico sends Nick’s kick into Matt’s head. You know the Bucks aren’t selling that though and it’s a double superkick into the assisted Tombstone for two on Generico with Sasuke making another save. Nick misses a moonsault and Sasuke hits a big flip dive onto Matt on the floor. That gets the fans back into it and Generico’s Swanton gets two on Nick. Now the Helluva Kick can connect to set up the brainbuster onto the buckle to finish Nick at 21:12.

Rating: B. This was better than I was expecting and it was nice to see the Bucks actually lose for a change. You don’t usually see the dream team beating the regular partners so this was quite the surprise. It really is a shame that Generico retired, as he is quite the star. You can see how influential he was too, as a lot of people would copy his style, almost down to the move at times.

Wrestle Royal

20 man Royal Rumble and Ken Shamrock is a ringside enforcer. Matt Classic (I hear Colt Cabana is a big fan) is in at #1 and Lanny Poffo is in at #2 for one of the most unique matches I can remember seeing in a long time. Commentary makes it clear that entrants will be STRICTLY timed, after an apparent issue last year. Classic slowly hammers away at the back and grabs a claw but misses the bottom rope splash. Poffo actually manages the moonsault (not bad for 57) and goes for the mask.

Rock Riddle (the original Mr. Wonderful, who I’ve never actually seen wrestle) is in at #3 as we seem to have 90 second intervals. Riddle doesn’t actually get in the ring as Classic and Poffo continue their slow motion fighting. The timing is already a bit off as Carlos Colon (The Youngster!) is in at #4. Colon gets to hit both guys in the head as commentary continues its running joke of Classic feuding with every old wrestler ever. Riddle finally comes in (I wasn’t betting on the flower print gear) for a few shots of his own as Gangrel is in at #5.

Brawling continues as Gangrel (getting a rather strong reception) bites Poffo in the corner. The clock is even further all over the place as Jesse Hernandez is in at #6. Classic gets beaten up some more but gets choked in the corner by Gangrel. Mando Guerrero is in at #7 and gets quite the reception as he beats on Classic. They finally start teasing some eliminations (and no you cannot expect any kind of serious quality out of this) until Kevin Sullivan is in at #8.

Stick shots abound until Colon headbutts the stick out of Sullivan’s hands. Colon stabs Sullivan in the stomach with said stick and then beats Gangrel in the back. Piloto Suicida (still active today) is in at #9 as the ring is really getting full. The rapid fire entrances (now barely at a minute) continue as Tommy Dreamer is in at #10 (OF COURSE Dreamer is working twice) to hammer on Gangrel as commentary talks about how these two are some of the youngest in the match. Everyone is still in as Dreamer beats on Classic, apparently as payback for all of those boring Madison Square Garden main events.

Robbie E., the reigning TNA TV Champion, is in at #11 and promises to become the youngest ever winner of this match. Then Dreamer tosses him in a hurry for a funny bit. Virgil (to Ted DiBiase’s music) is in at #12 as Poffo, Colon and Guerrero were all put out somewhere. Greg Valentine, coming out to Sharp Dressed Man of all things, is in at #13. Classic is doing Hindu squats as Sullivan hits Suicida with the bell. Valentine has Dreamer in the Figure Four as Gangrel drops elbows.

Konnan is in at #14 to go after Sullivan, with commentary (thankfully) bringing up the Dungeon of Doom. Dan Severn is in at #15 and this could be interesting. Gangrel goes after Severn in a hurry as the ring is too full again. Jimmy Hart, with a lot of padding, of all people is in at #16 and wisely walks around the ring for a bit.

Godfather, with his ladies, is in at #17 and Gangrel eliminates himself to join in. Hart was eliminated off screen and Brutus Beefcake is in at #18 (dang I miss that theme) and goes after Valentine to ruin the Dream Team reunion. Bradley Ray Schreak (an auction winner) is in at #19 as Sullivan is out. Beefcake grabs the sleeper on Schreak as Suicida is out. Schreak gets a haircut, including with the big scissors, as Severn gets rid of Virgil. The match completely stops for the haircut until Schreak wakes up and panics over his hair being gone.

That’s enough for an elimination and it’s Raven in at #20 (with Dreamer waiting on him) to complete the field. The final grouping is Classic, Dreamer, Valentine, Konnan, Severn, Godfather, Beefcake and Raven. Hang on though as Raven doesn’t want to get in, only to have Kevin Steen come out and jump him from behind. Steen throws Raven in for a DDT from Dreamer, who tosses Raven without much trouble. Dreamer, ever the genius, jumps out to beat on Raven some more and beats him to the back with Steen. Classic is eliminated and there goes Konnan.

We’re down to Severn, Valentine, Beefcake and Godfather (I love indy wrestling) but Shamrock distracts Severn, allowing Valentine to toss him. Severn pulls Valentine out and we’re down to two. The Ho Train misses Godfather but he low bridges Beefcake out for the win at 23:12.

Rating: C. Fun. What other word is there to describe something like this? They weren’t trying to do anything serious here and it was all about having people get a quick payoff and come out to a pop. It worked at the Gimmick Battle Royal in 2001 and it works at any show like this. I had a good time with it and that’s the entire point of this kind of match. It’s a lot of fun, and well done on doing what they should have.

The women come in to dance with Godfather, who hits his catchphrase (while clearly having a blast) to wrap up the night.

Overall Rating: B. I’ve seen a good number of these reunion style shows and this was one of the better ones, with a nice mixture of old vs. new and some legends matches thrown in there as well. They had some big names included and while they might have had a better option as the main event (though it did fit the reunion theme), this was a lot of fun. It’s longer than it needs to be (at nearly three and a half hours, not counting intermission), but I had a good time with it and that is entirely the goal with something like this.

 

 

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Hog Wild: They’ve Got Bikes

Hog Wild
Date: August 10, 1996
Location: Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, Sturgis, South Dakota
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Dusty Rhodes, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

This is one of the more unique shows that you’ll see as we are outside in front of a bunch of bikers. I’m sure they will be a completely acceptable crowd with no problems or distractions whatsoever. We’re also just into the NWO era and Hollywood Hogan is getting the World Title shot against the Giant. Let’s get to it.

Of note: there were EIGHT Saturday Night matches before the pay per view went on the air, so the bikers might be a little bit sick of wrestling already.

We open with a look at the Sturgis Rally, with no matches mentioned whatsoever.

Tony, Dusty and Bobby…..are dressed in biker gear with more jokes available than I can possibly fathom.

Cruiserweight Title: Ultimate Dragon vs. Rey Mysterio

Dragon (it says Ultimate everywhere else so that’s what we’ll go with) is challenging and has Sonny Onoo with him. Tony asks Bobby where his tattoo and dew rag are and I begin to have nightmares. Thankfully Mike Tenay joins commentary to tell us that this is the first ever meeting. Dragon takes him down by the arm to start but gets pulled into a leglock. Back up and Dragon gets in a shot of his own for a breather into a standoff.

A spinwheel kick drops Rey, sending Dusty into one of his funny rants about move names. Neither can hit a headscissors and we have another standoff. A spinning kick to the chest drops Rey again and there’s the handspring elbow in the corner. The running Liger Bomb doesn’t even get a cover as Dragon grabs a Figure Four of all things instead. With that broken up, Dragon hits his spinning torture rack dropped down into a backbreaker, followed by the surfboard.

Heenan makes jokes about Cesar Romero and Desi Arnaz as Rey gets out and hits a springboard dropkick out to the floor. There’s a baseball slide to knock Dragon off the platform into the dirt, with Rey hitting a HUGE springboard dive (with the camera mostly missing it) to take him down again.

Back in and a springboard hurricanrana keeps the crowd popped but another springboard is dropkicked out of the air. Rey is knocked outside so Dragon hits a slingshot dive to take him down again. They head back inside with Dragon hitting a moonsault for two but Rey catches him on top with a super hurricanrana to retain at 11:36.

Rating: B-. It’s a good opener and both of them would go on to be able to do some far better stuff, but this wasn’t exactly the blowaway match I was expecting. They did their high flying stuff but Rey didn’t really go nuts and Dragon was more about striking and grappling than high flying. What they did worked well enough though, including managing to impress a non-wrestling crowd.

Gene Okerlund, also looking like a….well what WCW thinks a biker looks like, shills the Hotline.

We talk about the rally some more.

Ice Train vs. Scott Norton

They used to be partners as Fire & Ice but then split up. I like Ice Train but is there a reason his name sounds like a Mad Lib? Train also has a bad shoulder coming in to give Norton a target. Norton powers him into the corner to start and chops at the bandaged shoulder, showing that he is at least moderately intelligent. The slugout goes to Norton, who cuts him down with another shot to the shoulder. A rake to the eyes and some more shots to the face send Train outside, where the shoulder is sent into the post.

Back in and Train manages a slam with the good arm. Since it’s just a slam though, Norton chops him down again and cranks on the arm. Train gets up and actually drops Norton with some chops but Norton does it a good bit better. The armbar goes on and Norton drops a leg on the arm to make it even worse. Back up and Norton charges into a powerslam for two but he’s fine enough to hit a clothesline. A Fujiwara armbar makes Train give it up at 5:07.

Rating: D. The match made sense but it wasn’t quite the most thrilling thing in the world. Train had a bad shoulder so Norton went after it over and over. That should be an easy way to go, but you can only get so far with a bunch of chops. Not a very good match, though who was expecting much out of the battle of Fire and Ice?

We get a video from Ric Flair, talking about how serious the NWO is now that they took out Arn Anderson. That is Flair’s best friend, and WCW is his other best friend. The NWO is in trouble now because the Horsemen are involved. That should have been the easiest idea in all of WCW and they managed to screw it up.

Hey look: bikers!

You can get Hog Wild merch!

Madusa vs. Bull Nakano

This is Bike vs. Bike, with the winner getting to destroy the loser’s motorcycle. Wouldn’t that make either winner a heel for this crowd? Nakano’s manager Sonny Onoo and Madusa ride in on the motorcycles, leaving Nakano to just look scary. Nakano jumps her fast with a nunchuck and Dusty LOSES IT over the attack.

Madusa gets bent around the middle rope and a double ax handle to the back puts her down. The USA chants start up and Madusa grabs a chair takedown. Nakano is right back with what would become Paige’s Scorpion Crosslock, followed by a hard slam. We hit the chinlock as commentary talks about how strong Nakano is.

Back up and Madusa snaps off a hurricanrana for two and a spinwheel kick to the face gets the same. Another kick misses and Nakano blasts her with a clothesline for two of her own. Madusa’s bridging German suplex gets two more and Nakano hits something similar for the same. A not great looking sunset flip gives Madusa the next near(ish) fall but Nakano grabs the belly to back suplex, with only Madusa getting her shoulder up for the pin at 4:57.

Rating: C. They were bringing the power game here and it was miles ahead of anything else women were doing in America at this point. The problem was the sloppiness in some points (including the ending), but given the atmosphere they were working in, there was only so much you could expect. Still though, rather hard hitting match as you would have expected.

Post match Sonny Onoo grabs the sledgehammer to go after Madusa’s bike. This goes as well as you would expect it to, as Madusa takes it away and destroys Nakano’s bike instead.

The Steiners are chatting on CompuServe. I don’t think Rick Steiner knows what he is doing.

Commentary thinks we’re going to Gene Okerlund. We’re not going to Gene Okerlund.

Chris Benoit vs. Dean Malenko

Jimmy Hart tries to come out with Dean Malenko, who isn’t interested. Benoit on the other hand has Woman and Elizabeth with him. They jaw with each other a bit to start until Malenko takes him down and hammers away. Benoit kicks him in the ribs to take over but Malenko gets in some boots of his own. A suplex gets two and we hit an early chinlock as Heenan goes into some weird analogy about birds. Benoit fights up and chokes on the rope as Tony has to bring commentary back to the match from their NWO discussion.

A back elbow gives Benoit a few near falls and they go to the pinfall reversal sequence. Malenko wins the battle over a backslide for two as Woman screams a lot. The short armscissors has Benoit down but he muscles Malenko up and drops him down for the break. There’s the snap suplex for two as the fans do not exactly seem thrilled. An abdominal stretch goes on but Malenko grabs the foot to escapes and flips him over.

Commentary talks about how we are coming up on a new millennium and these two could be the future. Eh kind of with one of them. Back up and they hit stereo crossbodies for a double knockdown to get a breather. Malenko goes up but gets knocked out of the air, setting up another snap suplex. The Swan Dive gives Benoit a delayed two and it’s time to fight over a Tombstone until Malenko plants him for a few near falls.

Benoit charges into a boot in the corner but is fine enough to counter a Texas Cloverleaf attempt into a small package for two. They fall out to the floor in a double heap with Malenko blocking a posting by hitting one of his own and it’s time to go back inside. Benoit catches him on top with a heck of a superplex and they’re both down again. Malenko hits a release German suplex for two more as the fans (or more like people who happen to be here) just do not care.

A hard clothesline gives Malenko two as Heenan tries to figure out how many holds Malenko knows (Chris Jericho can be seen in the background taking notes). Benoit slams him down and grabs the Liontamer (Chris Jericho can be seen in the background furiously taking notes) but Malenko makes the rope. A victory roll gives Malenko two and another backslide gets another two. Benoit runs him over for two more but Malenko catches him on top for a superplex. There’s a powerbomb to Benoit but time expires at 20:00.

Actually hang on as we’re going to get a five minute overtime, which the bikers DO NOT like. Benoit jumps Malenko at the start of overtime and grabs the Cloverleaf in the middle of the ring. After over a minute, Benoit lets it go, which seems rather unlike him. Malenko’s leg is done so Benoit kicks away and cranks on said leg on the mat. Some Ric Flair Cannonballs onto the leg set up another hold but Malenko reverses into a cradle as overtime expires.

We get ANOTHER five minute overtime and the bikers boo this out the non-existent building. Malenko snaps off a dragon screw legwhip but Benoit is back up with the dragon suplex for two. Benoit misses a dropkick and gets Cloverleafed, with Malenko switching it into an STF. Woman tries to help Benoit make the rope so Malenko goes after her, allowing Benoit to grab a rollup for the pin at 28:13. The replay shows him grabbing the rope for a bonus, because he is in fact a Horseman.

Rating: B+. You can go a few different ways with the thinking here. On the one hand, it’s a great match with two guys going at it for the better part of half an hour in a pretty bad spot. On the other hands, the fans didn’t care and the wrestlers failed to get over. There might be something to the latter, but consider the situation these guys were in.

These bikers didn’t pay to see a wrestling show. They’re here to see Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage and people from the WWF ten years ago. Benoit and Malenko are small guys they’ve never seen before and don’t care about having a pretty long match. You’re supposed to make the fans happy, but I’m not sure if these people qualify as fans as much as they are just people watching the matches because they’re there. This match was great though so I’ll go with the “these bikers are pinheads” and move on.

Tag Team Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Harlem Heat

Harlem Heat, with Sheri and Colonel Parker, is defending and the fans do not seem thrilled with them. Everyone stalls for a good bit to start as commentary talks about the NWO. Scott and Booker officially start, with the latter being honked at a lot. The bikers go so nuts that Booker bails to the floor before coming back in to shove Scott for the first contact nearly two and a half minutes in.

Scott isn’t having that and hits a butterfly powerbomb, followed by a quick suplex so the Steiners can clear the ring in a hurry. Back in and Scott shoulders Booker down and a gorilla press makes it worse. The ten right hands in the corner rock Booker and he bails to the floor for another breather. This time it’s Stevie coming in to hammer on Scott, which actually works this time.

Scott runs Stevie over with ease, allowing the tag to Rick for a chinlock. Stevie gets up so Rick Steiner Lines him back down as this is totally one sided so far. A rake to the eyes into a side slam drops Scott as Sherri is shouting about having a nervous breakdown. That is only going to get worse as Scott hits a spinning belly to belly for two more. Rick comes back in for a suplex of his own and a “SHUT UP B****” to Sherri. Stevie gets in a cheap shot from the apron to finally slow the Steiners down for a bit.

A clothesline sets up a chinlock but Rick pops up for his weird powerslam. That’s enough to bring Scott back in for an STF of all things before Rick comes back in for his own chinlock. Stevie fights up though and Booker low bridges him down to the floor to really put Rick in trouble for a change. Back in and Booker’s side kick only crotches him on top but Stevie makes the fast save. Stevie comes in to strike and choke away, followed by a big boot to put Rick down again.

It starts getting dark so the lights come on, meaning more engine revving as Booker grabs a chinlock. Rick fights up so it’s a Spinarooni into a side kick for no cover, with Dusty kind of complaining without actually saying anything negative (as Dusty tended to do). Booker misses a middle rope knee though and Rick makes the easy tag to Scott. Everything breaks down and Parker throws powder in Booker’s face by mistake. Since she seems to know Parker is a moron, Sherri is right there to throw it in Scott’s eyes as well. A cane shot to the head is enough to finish Scott at 17:53.

Rating: C. This was a longer match and that was both a good and a bad thing. The Steiners were both getting a bit slower at this point, with Scott being so muscular he looked like a cartoon. That does not make for better long form matches, though a major title match should get the extra time. It also didn’t help that the Steiners dominated for so long, but I could watch the Steiners throw people around for hours at a time, making it a rather enjoyable domination. In other words, I’m all over the place on this one and we’ll go with right in the middle.

Heenan sounds a bit, ahem, out of it on the replays. Wouldn’t surprise me actually.

Here’s a look at wrestlers on motorcycles.

Here’s a look at the rally.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Ric Flair

Flair, with Woman and Elizabeth, is defending. They fight over a lockup into the corner until Eddie knocks him outside in a hurry. Back in and Eddie grabs a headlock but Flair belly to back suplexes him down with a weird landing, possibly hanging up Eddie’s arm. Eddie comes back in and gets dropped again, only to nip right back up. Flair’s poke to the eye and chop put Eddie down again as the sun is starting to set.

Back up and some rapid fire shots rock Flair in the corner and Eddie rains down some right hands. Flair gets tossed outside and a running clothesline puts him on the floor again. Back in and Woman offers a distraction so Flair can get in a low blow, allowing Heenan to make a chili joke. Eddie’s sunset flip doesn’t work so he grabs a Figure Four to put Flair in some trouble. That’s broken up so Eddie runs up the ropes into a hurricanrana for two more.

Flair goes up and comes crashing back down to give Eddie another near fall. The second sunset flip attempt (thanks to Flair’s trunks coming down and a kick from the referee) is good for two so Eddie goes up top. The frog splash connects but Eddie bangs up his knee, meaning it’s time for the regular Flair selection. Flair grabs the Figure Four and, thanks to Woman grabbing Flair’s hands, Eddie is pinned at 14:29.

Rating: B. Like this wasn’t going to be good. Eddie was nowhere near the star he would become but you could see the abilities in the ring. You could see that Flair was giving him a lot here too in an effort to get over though, which was always one of Flair’s greatest strengths. This was one of the best things on the show so far, and it was nice to see both of them doing their thing so well.

Jimmy Hart (looking weird without glasses) and Giant are ready for Hollywood Hogan tonight. Hogan told the fans to stick it, but Giant is going to stick his hand around Hogan’s neck for a chokeslam. Giant has gotten miles better at promos in the last year.

Outsiders vs. Sting/Lex Luger

For reasons I still don’t quite get, Sting and Luger were champs until June but lost them to Harlem Heat, who traded the titles with the Steiners and Public Enemy (winning the titles three times in just over three months) instead of just having the Outsiders take the titles from Sting and Luger here. If nothing else, it would have given them a heck of a visual to end the show and the Outsiders winning the titles was inevitable anyway.

Anyway Hall (thanks to a game of Rock Paper Scissors) and Luger start things off with Hall working on a top wristlock. That’s broken up with straight power so Hall mocks Luger a bit, as only he can. Nash comes in and, after a bit of a tease, Luger brings Sting in as well. An exchange of shots to the face has Nash rocked a bit but Sting can’t slam him. More rights and lefts stagger Nash though and a poke to the eyes allows the slam.

Since it’s just a slam, Nash is right back up with Snake Eyes to take over and Hall comes back in for the corner clothesline. Heenan continues to sound bombed as he says he doesn’t care who wins here. Hall and Nash start taking turns beating on Sting, with Hall getting in the quality taunting that he does so well. A heck of a clothesline in the corner drops Sting and Nash comes in for the boot choke. Sting starts fighting back with that unique style of striking of his but it isn’t enough to get over for the tag. Instead it’s a collision to put Nash down, allowing Sting to fall down for the low blow.

Hall cuts off the tag, earning a COME ON HALL from Heenan. Tony: “WHAT???” Even Heenan doesn’t seem to get that one, which shouldn’t be that surprising. Sting backdrops his way out of the Outsider’s Edge attempt and the hot tag brings in Luger. Everything breaks down and Sting gets the Scorpion on Nash on the floor. The torture rack attempt knocks down referee Nick Patrick, who staggers right into Luger’s knee. A fast count gives Hall the pin at 14:34.

Rating: C-. The match was a bit dull but what hurts it more than anything else is the lack of stakes. I know it’s a big match for the Outsiders to get the pin over two of the biggest names in WCW, but how much better would this have been if the Outsiders had won the Tag Team Titles here? The match wasn’t exactly bad, though it could have been a lot more all things considered.

Heenan didn’t think the count was fast, as he still isn’t all there (throw in the slurred speech and I don’t think there is much doubt about what is going on).

WCW World Title: The Giant vs. Hollywood Hogan

Giant, with Jimmy Hart is defending, but first we need a long introduction about how amazing the bikers are, because motorcycles are cool or something. Hogan, the biggest heel in the world at the moment, gets the biggest face pop of the night. And they actually came here THREE MORE TIMES because Bischoff really, really loves motorcycles. It’s also fun to see Hogan still doing a lot of his face stuff as he doesn’t have the heel version entirely figured out yet.

Hogan hits the stall button to start and Heenan is loving the fact that he gets to rip on Hogan and have everyone admit that he’s right after all these years. Back in and Hogan hammers away in the corner to no effect so it’s time for more stalling on the floor. Hogan gets inside again and this time gets tossed right back to the floor as they’re firmly in first gear. A headlock is countered into a belly to back suplex to put Hogan on the floor again as it feels like we’ve been here before.

Giant wins a test of strength until Hogan fires off some kicks to the ribs, again earning a huge cheer from the bikers. The comeback is on and Giant gets him down to his knees as we are seven minutes into this thing. A top wristlock drives Hogan down but he grabs the hair to set up an armbar. The double arm crank goes on as it’s bizarre to see Hogan using all of these holds. Giant fights up so Hogan pulls him down by the hair. Back up again and three headbutts put Hogan on the floor.

That’s fine with Hogan, who pulls Giant outside and hammers away but Giant kicks him down back inside. A backbreaker gives Giant two but the big elbow misses. Hogan gets in some right hands…..and Giant Hulks Up, complete with shaking and the finger point. Giant hits a big boot and loads up the chokeslam but has to deal with the invading Outsiders. That’s enough for Hogan to get in a belt shot for the pin and the title at 14:53 in one of the most obvious results you’ll ever see (and that is not a bad thing).

Rating: D. Not only was the crowd all over the place (but the WCW guys got to ride motorcycles so it’s cool) but the match was a lot of Hogan stalling and very slow motion moves. Giant Hulking Up was a nice touch but that was about the only positive here. There was zero doubt about who was winning here and you absolutely had to put the title on Hogan, but it wasn’t an easy path to get there.

Post match the celebration is on, with Booty Man coming out in an NWO shirt with a birthday cake for Hogan (whose birthday was the next day but close enough). We hear about their 22 year friendship and Hogan says they have been like blood. Hogan talks about how he is going to beat Ric Flair at Clash of the Champions, mainly because Flair keeps mixing business with personal.

The NWO doesn’t do that though…..so “get him boys”. The beatdown is on and Hogan asks what he’ll do to Flair if he’ll do that to his brother. With that out of the way, we get the NWO spray painted on the title, which wound up being a pretty big deal. Of note: Giant laid there for about seven plus minutes while the NWO did their thing. Screw the legdrop, as that’s the most amazing belt shot ever.

Commentary is upset and scared of what is coming.

Roll credits, over a shot of a motorcycle of course.

Overall Rating: C+. The atmosphere was certainly unique, even if you discount the annoyance that was the bikers doing their own thing all night. The wrestling itself was pretty good for the most part and the two main event matches did enough of what they were supposed to. It’s not a great show but the post match event deal with the spray paint was certainly a big deal. Thrown in Heenan being bombed live on pay per view and there are worse options out there for a nearly three hour show. Oh and bikers, because motorcycles are the coolest things EVER. Eh Bischoff can explain it better than I can.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania IX (2015 Redo): Fuj The Stooge

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania IX
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,891
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

In one of the major moments of the show, Jim Ross (JR) makes his WWF debut and talks about the main events before taking his place as lead commentator. I really could have gone through life without ever seeing him in a toga.

Finkus Maximus (just go with it) introduces Caesar and Cleopatra on an elephant while JR gives a history of elephants and Rome. This is kind of missing the point of a wrestling show but Randy Savage is brought out on a sedan to make things a bit better. To really cap it off, Heenan comes out riding a camel backwards.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Tatanka

The champ grabs a headlock for a bit before going up top, only to dive into an armdrag. More weak armdrags send Shawn to the mat before he channels his inner Nature Boy with a Flair Flip in the corner. A Tatanka chop knocks him off the apron so Shawn has to go to the eyes (another Flair standard) to get a breather. Things speed up until Shawn charges into an atomic drop and gets caught in a DDT.

Shawn leaves and Luna slams Sherri on the floor.

Headshrinkers vs. Steiner Brothers

The Headshrinkers are Samu and Fatu (later known as Rikishi) and the Steiners are Rick and Scott, a pair of hard hitting amateur wrestling brothers. At the bell, JR debuts the term slobberknocker to make this one historic. Scott and Fatu get things going with Scott easily taking him down via a nice amateur double leg. Fatu tries to make it into a slugout but Scott just takes his head off with a clothesline. The Headshrinkers double team Scott down so he and Rick get up on the same buckle for stereo top rope clotheslines. That looked awesome.

Call the Hotline!

Crush vs. Doink the Clown

Crush is a now big power guy from Hawaii in bright purple and orange. Doink has an umbrella with him but Crush knocks it out of his hands and rams the clown face first into the post. Some right hands to the face have no effect on Crush so he grabs a neckbreaker and keeps up the beating. Doink finally gets a break by guillotining him across the top rope. A piledriver gets no cover so Doink rams him into the post. Heenan: “Break the pineapple head!”

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Ramon debuted late last year but the crowd is rapidly turning him face. Backlund is an old veteran who is making a nostalgia run and having some good matches despite being in his early 40s and being out of the ring for years. Ever the good sport, Backlund offers a handshake but gets a toothpick to the chest for his efforts. A LOUD Razor chant starts us off as JR hypes up the Hotline. Backlund starts fast by sweeping the leg a few times so Razor punches him in the jaw.

Ad for King of the Ring.

Tag Team Titles: Mega Maniacs vs. Money Inc.

Money Inc is defending and Hogan comes in with a black eye, with explanations ranging from a jet-ski accident (official and most likely story), DiBiase hiring a bunch of people to attack him (storyline story) and Randy Savage punching him in the face over accusations that Hogan was sleeping with Elizabeth when she and Savage were still married (possibly true). Beefcake has a metal mask to protect his face and the team gets a decent but certainly not great reaction.

Hogan finally mixes up the offense with a big boot before going back to the right hands. A Piper style poke to the eye is enough to send Money Inc. walking but the referee says if they walk out, the titles change hands. As usual, Hogan has some corrupt official helping him out. Back in again and Heenan gets very close to accusing Savage of having something to do with the black eye.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Luger is still the Narcissist and comes out with some barely clothed women that have the announcers drooling. They trade wristlocks to start and Perfect shoves the much stronger Luger into the corner. A big running knee lift knocks Luger down and a dropkick sends him to the floor as this is almost all Perfect so far.

Gorilla previews the rest of the show.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Call the Hotline!

Oh and one more thing: Hogan wants the first shot either at Bret or at “the Jap” if he wins the title. As for a prediction, he thinks the title is staying in the USA in the match between a Canadian and a Polynesian wrestler billed from Japan. As usual, Hulk never was one for the most in depth thinking in the world.

Todd Pettengill (a very stupid interviewer) interviews some frat boys.

WWF World Title: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

The 505lb Yokozuna is challenging and has Mr. Fuji in his corner. The announcers have spent most of the show talking about how Bret is the huge underdog after being knocked out by Luger, sat on by Yokozuna and then just being in trouble against the monster in general. Bret charges across the ring for a running dropkick and some right hands, only to have Yokozuna shove him down and shoulder him out to the floor.

Back up and Bret gets his feet up in the corner, setting up something like a middle rope bulldog for two. That earns the champ a superkick and another nerve hold to continue boring the crowd. Heenan points out the stupidity of the USA chants as Bret fights up and gets a better middle rope bulldog for another two.

A pair of clotheslines put Yokozuna down for half a second so Bret punches away in the corner. Yokozuna shoves him so hard that the turnbuckle pad is pulled off, only to have Bret ram the monster face first into it. The Sharpshooter actually goes on but Fuji throws salt in his eyes, giving Yokozuna the pin and the title at 8:56.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

Doink the Clown vs. Crush

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D+

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

How is this a Wrestlemania?

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/16/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-9-wrestlemania-goes-outside/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/18/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-ix-why-would-fuji-do-that/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania IX (2013 Redo): Outside, All Of You

Wrestlemania IX
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesar’s Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,981
Commentators: Jim Ross, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

Jim Ross debuts on WWF TV for the first time ever in a surprise jump from the other company. Granted it was about a year or so since JR was last seen but it was still surprising.

Cesar and Cleopatra are introduced to the crowd.

Randy Savage comes out on a sedan with the vestal virgins. Bobby Heenan is brought out riding a camel backwards, which he claims was supposed to be the sedan. Funny bit here.

Intercontinental Title: Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Luna lays out Sherri while Tatanka celebrates not winning the title.

The Steiners are ready for the Headshrinkers.

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

This should be solid stuff. The Shrinkers are Samu and Fatu (Rikishi) here. Historic moment: JR calls this match a slobberknocker, unleashing the term on the wrestling world. The Headshrinkers have Afa as their manager, which will be mentioned later. Scott and Fatu start things off and after being shoved by the Samoan, Scott easily takes him down by the legs. A big old Steiner Line flips Fatu inside out but the Headshrinkers take Scott into the corner to work him over.

Crush vs. Doink the Clown

Doink tries to crawl under the ring but gets hit with a gorilla press back in the ring. Crush puts on the head vice (finisher) but as Doink gets to the ropes, the referee is bumped. The vice goes on again but another Doink comes out from under the ring with the cast. He blasts Crush in the head with it and the original Doink gets the pin.

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Tag Titles: Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

That sounds pretty awesome on paper. Anyway, Luger is the Narcissist at this point and comes out with some women in bikinis with thongs, sending Heenan through the roof. Well over the top of the columns at least. Perfect gets a very solid pop here but he would be used sparingly until he left in the fall. They trade headlocks to start and Luger bails to the corner. Now they trade hammerlocks and Luger bails to the ropes again.

Perfect fights out of the corner with right hands but Luger scoops his legs and puts his own feet on the ropes for two. Mr. comes back with a nice sunset flip for two but a quick sleeper attempt is broken up. Back up and they slug it out a bit more with Perfect hitting a backdrop to take over. A slingshot sends Luger into the buckle and a forearm to the head gets two. Perfect hits a clothesline and neckbreaker for two each, as does a kind of missile dropkick. Luger wins the fight over a backslide and even though Perfect gets his feet in the ropes, Luger gets the pin anyway.

Luger knocks him out post match and leaves. Perfect finally staggers after him and the fight starts again, until Shawn Michaels helps beat up Perfect.

Savage yells at Heenan for supporting Luger too much.

Gorilla Monsoon talks about the remaining matches.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Rating: D-. Gonzalez was AWFUL which really hurt things a lot. The main issue Undertaker had at this point was no one had any idea what to do with him. They just had him fight monsters for years on end which you can only watch for so long. This story would be reused about 12 years later with Undertaker playing Undertaker, Daivari playing Wippleman and Great Khali playing Gonzalez.

Referees check on the unconscious Undertaker as Gonzalez chokeslams a referee. The fans chant for Hogan but a gong goes off and Taker staggers out to beat up the monster.

We recap Jim Duggan being destroyed by Yokozuna. The fat man did the same to Bret Hart as well, setting up this match. In the back, Hogan says he wants the first title shot against either Hart of the Jap. His words, not mine.

Todd Pettingill continues to annoy fans.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Hogan runs out to check out Hart, so Mr. Fuji issues a challenge to Hogan for a title match RIGHT NOW. Bret tells Hogan to go get him and the fight is on.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Fuji misses a salt through, clothesline, legdrop, new champion.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

Redo: B

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Original: B+

Redo: B

Doink the Clown vs. Crush

Original: D

Redo: D+

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Original: C-

Redo: D

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-

Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: F+

Redo: D-

Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: F+

Redo: D

I actually liked it better this time. Man alive I must have been in a bad mood for the first one.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/16/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-9-wrestlemania-goes-outside/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania IX (Original): Oh Bobby

Wrestlemania 9
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesar’s Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,891
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

This is considered to be one of the weakest Wrestlemanias in history and I think that’s an accurate statement. Looking at the announced card, which was only eight matches long, I only see 2-3 that I would put on a Wrestlemania. Your main event for this evening is Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna, which is ok, but just doesn’t scream WM main event to me.

What amazes me the most about it though was this show was so packed they had to cancel one of the matches: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Kamala. The theme of the show is the world’s largest toga (toga, toga, toga) party. Why does this scream BAD IDEA to me? Seriously, what’s the point behind this? It made the show seem stupid overall, but that’s just me. Anyway, let’s get started.

Our show opens with no National Anthem or America the Beautiful. What a crock already. After that, we see Gorilla Monsoon in a toga. God help me. He is our host for the evening, whatever that means. He welcomes us to the show, and throws it over to….Jim Ross? This was Ross’ debut and I vividly remember being stunned to see him in the WWF as he had been the commentator for WCW my entire life.

Ross runs down the double main event of Hogan and Beefcake vs. Money Inc. for the tag belts and the already mentioned WWF Title match. He throws it to Finkus Maximus, which is something even I couldn’t make up, who introduces Caesar and Cleopatra on an elephant, which Ross gives us a history lesson on. Macho Man is then introduced riding a sedan which is like a couch that’s carried as beautiful women feed him grapes.

Then in one of the funniest scenes in WWF history, Bobby Heenan comes in on a camel, but for some reason he’s riding it backwards. He gets to the broadcast position and is a mess, which is kind of funny. Finally, after almost 10 minutes of intros, it’s time for a match.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Tatanka

Michaels had dumped Sherri since last year but now is accompanied by Luna Vachon, who is proof that not all divas are hot. Tatanka is out next and he has never lost a one on one match. Sherri follows Tatanka out, yet it’s made clear she’s not with him. So they have stalkers now. Hey they match! Tatanka had pinned Shawn twice leading up to this match, once in a singles match and once in a 6 man.

Some of Savage’s comments to Heenan, such as shut up camel breath are just funny to me. There’s the first bell, eleven minutes into the show. The outside look is really cool here. They feel each other out at a rather fast pace to start. Top wristlock goes to Shawn and he follows it up with a headlock. Down to the mat with Shawn totally in control.

Tatanka gets a belly to back to escape and a SWEET counter of a top rope clothesline with an arm drag. Shawn to the floor and the girls have a staredown of awkward proportions. Back in and the stereotype works over Shawn’s arm which is apparently hurt coming into this one. Shawn hits a clothesline but it hurts him even further so it wasn’t worth it at all. Anytime Shawn gets something going he hurts his arm again, this time ramming it into the post.

Bobby: She (Luna) is something. Ross: Yeah what is she? Tatanka gets a shoulder breaker out of nowhere but drops an elbow instead of covering. Top rope chop but still no cover. He goes up again and jumps down into what we would call Sweet Chin Music. Today that would kill a guy and be on a highlight reel for years but here it’s just a momentum changer. Luna and Sherri do nothing of note again during a staredown.

Clothesline from the apron to the floor takes down Tatanka. Shawn yells at Sherri and gets a chinlock for awhile. Modified victory roll gets two as this is getting a lot of time. Another victory roll is countered into an electric chair drop to put both guys down again. Double axe by Shawn gets nothing as Tatanka stereotypes up.

Superkick is blocked and Tatanka gets a top rope cross body for a long two. Slingshot puts Shawn into the post and gets a very close two. Powerslam gets an even closer two. This is getting really good now and Tatanka is sent to the floor. Shawn shoves the referee and Tatanka gets the Papoose to Go for the CHEAP DQ! Dang it that was good stuff and got nearly 20 minutes.

Rating: B+. Very solid match that got the time it needed. If it had a real ending, this would be an automatic A. Tatanka was something interesting. He didn’t lose for his first two years which is an amazing streak, longer than even Goldberg’s. Shawn wasn’t quite up to the level of awesome he would reach but it was coming soon. He benefited a lot from the advent of Raw as it gave him a bigger way to get noticed and to put it mildly, it worked. Well that and Razor Ramon plus a ladder.

Luna beats up Sherri post match.

The Steiners say they’re going to beat the Headshrinkers.

Headshrinkers vs. Steiners

Pretty random tag match here but it works ok I guess. It’s your standard face team vs. heel team so that’s fine. We get the first use of JR’s code saying it’s going to be a slobberknocker, meaning it’s going to be awful from a wrestling standpoint. I was always a Headshrinkers mark for some reason, just always liked them.

Scott and Fatu start us off. Steiners control early on which is expected. Oh I forgot to mention: Fatu of the Headshrinkers is more commonly known as Rikishi. In a NICE looking move, Scott and Rick both go up the same corner and hits stereo clotheslines on the Headshrinkers. Nice one indeed. We get breaking news that Luna attacked Sherri again, and somehow, I’m more interested in the match at hand. What a stunner.

Afa rams his guys’ heads together to wake them up a bit. The referee is Bill Alfonso, who you might know as Fonzie from ECW. He was RVD’s overly hyper manager. Samu gets a splash in the corner and Rick just drills him with a clothesline. Afa blasts Scott with what would become known as a kendo stick. Savage gets upset, Heenan doesn’t see the Headshrinkers cheating which is one of his trademarks.

Heenan says he can’t see right with sunglasses on and JR says he saw it too. Heenan says JR is wrong because he’s from Oklahoma. JR’s reaction is priceless. Out to the floor for more pounding on White Thunder. Scott slams one of their heads into the mat and gets kicked in the jaw with a sweet kick for it.

Heenan says his head is like Prudential. Savage: I don’t know what that means. Bobby: It means the rock is hard. Savage: I didn’t ask you Heenan. The commentary for this match is light years ahead of the match itself. Samu gets a dropkick to show off a bit. Off to the nerve hold now, a Samoan trademark. Heenan says Oklahoma is a suburb of Kentucky, which offends JR for some reason.

Samu goes up but misses the big headbutt and there’s the tag to Rick and an eruption. He rams their heads together which is of course, STUPID. Dude learn your stereotypes. Headshrinkers hit a double team version of the move we call the Stroke, leading to one Headshrinker putting Rick on their shoulders for what we would call a Doomsday Device. In a freaking SWEET counter, Rick catches Fatu in the air from on top of Samu’s shoulders in a belly to belly suplex. Looked just absolutely sick.

Back to Scott who nearly kills Fatu with a belly to belly overhead. Scott suddenly remembers he’s better than Rikishi and hits a Frankensteiner, which might be the most impressive move that anyone has ever regularly done, to get the pin. It’s a standing hurricanrana by a guy of Scott Steiner’s size. Think about that.

Rating: B+. I liked this match a lot. Both teams are very solid and some of the stuff they did in this match was simply great. Top level stuff here which surprises me greatly. The Steiners are just scary good when they’re on their game and this is no exception. That powerslam/suplex spot by Rick is absolutely amazing.

Doink the Clown is a screwed up individual. He dresses up a Caesar statue in clown makeup and we get a recap of Doink vs. Crush. Doink also says Crush will be seeing double vision.

Crush vs. Doink the Clown

Crush had one of the best looks of anyone I’d seen from this era. He seriously could have been something special if he’d cared even a little bit at all. He was a decent wrestler with good size and power. I’ve never gotten why he didn’t pan out. Definitely a solid face challenger if nothing else. At about 6’6 and over 300lbs, he was quick and very strong. What’s not to like here?

Doink runs around the ring to start but gets caught by the big Hawaiian that I think Savage wants to make sweet love to down by the pond. Crush beats the holy goodness out of Doink for the majority of the match with basic power stuff. His finishing move was a head crushing move which was always kind of odd but it worked I guess.

The clown gets a guillotine clothesline and starts a comeback here, but it doesn’t mean much. In case I wasn’t clear here, Crush is the face in this match. A pretty weak looking Piledriver keeps Crush down for a bit and then he’s sent into the post. Doink jumps into a boot though and here comes the big man.

Doink tries to hide under the ring but gets caught. Back in the ring, Crush uses his head vice finisher on Doink but the ref got bumped. Another Doink comes out and hits Crush in the back with a cast then in the head. This leads to a pin for the real Doink. They check under the ring, where the other Doink came from and went to. They check and no Doink.

Rating: D. A Squash leading to a bad ending means not a good match. This feud went nowhere for the most part and I think it went on until at least the King of the Ring. Crush would soon start a big push which stalled like no other for some reason. Still though, this was really bad.

Todd Pettingil talks to some Japanese fans and after the WWF makes bad racial jokes, Razor Ramon is headed to the ring.

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

It’s total filler with no backstory but it’s Backlund in his first Mania match which is impressive since he’s in his early to mid 40s. Razor is the heel here but to put it mildly, he’s very popular. And yet Backlund would be the next guy to win the world title.

Backlund offers a handshake to start but Razor throws a toothpick instead. This is before he had gone insane if you didn’t get that. BIG Razor chant starts up and of course isn’t acknowledged. Backlund keeps tripping him up and does his stupid little dance. I never got the point of that at all but he always did it.

Razor stomps away after a slam. Bret Hart was knocked out cold by Luger at the Mania brunch today. This wasn’t ever addressed after this for some reason. Backlund gets a butterfly suplex which was kind of impressive. Atomic drop, his former finisher, gets no cover. In a great ending, Razor gets a small package out of nowhere to end it. Heenan gets in a great line: he beat the wrestler with a wrestling move.

Rating: C-. Not great but not awful, the ending gives this a decent grade. It’s not terrible and the ending surprised me. Razor had debuted just after Mania 8 and was pushed to the moon. He even got a title shot at the Rumble this year in a forgotten match. The breaking news during this match of Bret being knocked out earlier in the day leads to nothing. The last line of he beat the wrestler with wrestling was great.

In the back we see Gene with Money Inc. The feud they’re involved in at the moment began on a Monday Night Raw (The first Mania that can be said at as the show debuted about 3 months prior to this) when DiBiase tried to hit Beefcake with a briefcase.

Beefcake had been legitimately huge in a parasailing accident over a year ago and his face was badly injured. This led to a great Heenan line of, “It serves him right. His face has hurt me for years.” This attack led to Beefcake getting his friend Hulk Hogan to return to help him.

Also Jimmy Hart jumped from Money Inc to Hogan and Beefcake. Lastly, the night before the show, Hogan was injured, resulting in huge bruises around his eye. Now what really happened to him?

According to the storyline, DiBiase hired a bunch of people to attack him. The WWF said he was hurt in a jetski accident. The common theory in wrestling circles though is Savage thought Hogan and Liz (his real wife) were having an affair and beat the tar out of Hogan. Believe what you will.

Tag Titles: Money Inc. vs. Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake

We get red smoke and Heenan says that can only mean one person. Then Jimmy Hart walks out. Just made me chuckle a bit. This is Hogan’s first match in a year and the pop kind of sucks. It’s big, but not mind blowing. The heels jump the heroes before the bell but Hogan and Beefcake fight them off with the music playing which always makes me mark out like crazy. There’s just something sweet about that.

We get to the real match which is actually quite good. I think just about everyone expected Hogan and Beefcake to somehow take the belts here. Money Inc. had absolutely dominated the tag division for over a year at this point so they were seen as very legit. The champions stall forever to get us started. That’s about what you would expect no?

Hogan’s eye looks terrible. IRS vs. Beefcake start us off. The champions beat him down and tag in and out but for some reason they don’t go after the face that much at all. IRS tries to hit him in the face like a very stupid man indeed. Beefcake takes over and off to Hogan who gets ten punches in the corner on the Million Dollar Man. It’s about five years too late but I guess it’s better than nothing.

More fast tagging by the challengers and Hogan gets a double axe off the middle rope to DiBiase who is getting destroyed here. They clear the ring again as this is one sided after a few minutes of the champions winning early on. The champions try to leave and we get the ten count thing like we did last year I think. Scratch that as it was at Summerslam.

Hogan vs. DiBiase again. Good old fashioned cheating has Money Inc right back in control though. Hogan does what he does best: gets his ass kicked. LONG Million Dollar Dream puts him down but he shakes his finger to get back up. He must be in that thing for two minutes or so. Beefcake comes in to put a sleeper on DiBiase to drive Heenan crazy.

Why does everything seem to go into slow motion during a Hogan match? It takes like a minute and a half to get the hot tag to Beefcake. IRS comes in as well and a cheap shot gives the champions the advantage again. Beefcake’s protective mask gets ripped off and his face gets beaten into oblivion which is always a good thing. Love him or hate him, the guy bumps like a master.

Beefcake finally gets a sleeper on IRS but DiBiase breaks it up causing the ref to go down. Hogan comes in and cleans house leading to a double cover. Jimmy Hart turns his jacket inside out, which just happens to be black and white striped in the biggest coincidence of ALL time (you have to say ALL time at any WM. It’s the law) and apparently they think that’s good enough to make him a referee.

Some pest of a referee comes out and ruins our celebration saying that there’s a DQ as Hogan used Beefcake’s metal mask to knock out Money Inc. Jimmy Hart beats up the other referee and we get Hogan’s music. Post match, Hogan poses and they steal IRS’ briefcase, which contains a brick and money.

Supposedly the brick caused it to hurt a lot worse, because of course hitting someone WITH A SOLID METAL BRIEFCASE didn’t hurt enough. There’s also money in it which Hogan gives to the fans. This literally goes on well over 5 minutes.

Rating: C+. This is a good tag match which is absolutely stunning in its own right. Hogan put on a great performance here as did Brutus. Money Inc was as great as ever and it boils down to a solid match. The main thing killing it was the ending. I mean REALLY?

Hogan hits has Jimmy get the pin and he celebrates? Dude, come the heck on now.It was really the best option, but I still hate it. This match works for one simple reason: it’s nearly 20 minutes long. Both faces get beaten down and we get a double comeback. There’s very little missing from it actually.

Mr. Perfect says he’ll break Luger’s winning streak.

Mr. Perfect vs. Lex Luger

The main perk here is Luger’s entrance with four chicks holding mirrors in gold thongs. Not bad at all. This sounds awesome on paper if nothing else. Luger has knocked out everyone he’s faced so far with the metal plate in his forearm. They fight over a wristlock to start and it’s a standoff. Big shot by Perfect and a knee lift sets up a dropkick and Luger hits the floor.

We talk about baseball as Heenan tries to explain the whole knockout thing and he says Savage knows a thing or two about baseball. That’s very true as he played in some minor leagues for White Sox, Reds and Cardinals organizations. Quite an athlete indeed. Perfect works on the knee which is smart as he can’t get knocked out from there.

LOUD chop by Perfect as he has controlled for the vast majority so far. As is my custom he gets reversed on a hard whip into the corner to give Luger the control. He gets a shot with the loaded arm into the back of Perfect to really take over. Backbreaker puts Perfect down even longer.

Perfect can’t keep anything going and Luger gets a cover with his feet on the ropes for two which Heenan blasts to no end. Powerslam gets two. Sunset flip gets two for Perfect and then hooks a sleeper for all of 2 seconds. Perfect keeps getting pin attempts but can’t get more than two on them. A slingshot puts luger into the buckle for two.

Missile dropkick gets a long two as Luger gets his foot on the rope. No heat at all on that either. They fight over a backslide and Luger leans forward enough to put Perfect’s feet in the ropes so that he can’t kick out for the pin. Post match Luger knocks him out with the forearm.

Rating: C-. Long and at least passable, but I couldn’t stand Luger’s gimmick at the time. The forearm was just a dumb way to end every single match and this is no exception. This was ok but it was really spotty at times and it never got into a flow at all. I’ve seen worse though.

Perfect goes looking for Luger. And for once he finds him and the fight is on again. Shawn jumps Perfect, starting their summer long feud.

Gorilla pops up for no reason at all other than to tell us what two matches are left.

We recap Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzales. Undertaker feuded with Kamala in the fall and beat him. Harvey Whippleman, Kamala’s manager said he would get revenge, so at the Royal Rumble he brought out Gonzalez, who boardered on 7’8. He beat the tar out of Taker and eliminated him, leading to this match.

The feud doesn’t end here as it would finally be settled at the Survivor Series in a Rest in Peace match, which meant No DQ. In case you’re wondering where you’ve heard this story before, it’s THE EXACT same thing that happened with Muhammad Hassan, which led to Mark Henry who combined to play the role of Kamala and then the Great Khali as Gonzalez.

They had a manager that wanted revenge on Taker, then Taker got beaten up by them, then won a no rules match. That’s why old fans didn’t like the Taker/Khali feud: we knew exactly what was coming and we were exactly right.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

This is the first Wrestlemania entrance for Undertaker where he’s brought out in a chariot with a vulture on his shoulder which was REALLY cool for its time and is still awesome today. This should sum up how big Gonzalez was: Taker is a big old dude and he comes up to Gonzalez’s chest. Clubbing blows get him nowhere and here comes Taker.

Gonzalez chokes Taker who gets on the second rope to choke back but gets a low blow for his trouble down in his little demons. A low blow is no sold and we go to School (In 1993 the School wasn’t old yet). This was in that really weird period that stretched to about 1996 when Foley got there where they had no idea what to do with Undertaker so they just had him fight giants.

Giant chokes Taker down until the Urn goes up into the air. Taker goes into the steps on the floor as it’s ALL Gonzalez. Heenan proclaims him dead and almost has a heart attack when Taker is like boy I’m the Undertaker and just stands up and keeps beating on Gonzalez. Taker beats him down before Harvey throws in a cloth covered in chloroform which puts Taker down but it’s a DQ anyway. Yep this is bad.

Rating: F+. The match itself was just bad as there was one simple flaw: Gonzalez was just terrible. He was too big to be able to properly do anything in the ring and it showed badly here. It’s the only thing close to a blemish on Taker’s Mania record and that’s a shame. The idea that the commentators could smell a small rag in an open area like that is ludicrous to say the least, especially after all of 5 seconds of it being out.

Taker stays down for a long time with Gonzalez standing over him in triumph. They stretcher him out which isn’t something you see every day. The fans chant for Hogan for a bit, but then a gong rings. Today that would blow the roof off the place (despite there being no roof here) but here it only gets a solid pop. He staggers out and beats the fur off of Gonzalez which makes me wonder: WHY IN THE WORLD DID THEY DO THE DQ ENDING???

Gene recaps the feud with Hart and Yoko, and then Hulk Hogan makes sure he has the spotlight at the end of the show as he has to talk about how he’s in Bret’s corner. Oh and he calls Yokozuna a Jap.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Yoko wins this shot based on winning the Rumble. When you look back, there was absolutely no doubt who was going to win here. The idea is that Bret has no chance and they’ve spent the entire show telling us that Bret has no chance. Guess what happens in the match.

The problem with this match is very simple: Yoko is too fat for Bret to do much with. Bret’s offense is completely unbelievable here and that’s not a knock on him as no one for the most part could do much against Yoko. That’s also not a knock on Yoko as he was a decent big man (bring it on Irish).

Bret is sent to the floor after a nice attack to start but it’s clear he’s going to be in trouble. He ties Yoko’s legs in the ropes and gets him down so he can hammer away. Savage wants him to cover but is corrected by Heenan in a bizarre moment. Clothesline takes Bret down almost as soon as Yoko gets to his feet. Leg drop half kills Bret for no cover. The fans chant USA for their Canadian champion.

Bret gets a boot up for a BIG pop and a bulldog/jump on his back gets two. Side kick puts Bret right back down as this is bordering on a squash so far. Off to the nerve hold now which is basically a way to waste some time, which in a 9 minute match is rather stupid. Oh and all of Bret’s fans are Hulkamaniacs. Heenan points out the stupidity of the USA chants and is ignored. Bret gets in all the offense he can which is more or less getting him nowhere.

FINALLY he gets something as the buckle is exposed and Yoko’s head goes into it, sending him down to his stomach. Bret puts on a shockingly passable sharpshooter and the crowd is shocked. Mr. Fuji then throws salt into Bret’s eyes allowing Yoko to pin him for the title. Now let’s break down why this ending is so bad. Bret gets the sharpshooter on after Yoko shows no sign of his knees being hurt by Bret’s offense on them. I’ll let that go though as it’s a solid move that would hurt enough for a quick submission.

Fuji has done almost nothing all match. Bret sees him right in front of him as he takes FOREVER to get the salt out and throw it. Are you telling me Bret couldn’t have, I don’t know, CLOSED HIS EYES??? The referee sees Bret holding his eyes, sees the cloud from the thrown salt and sees Fuji holding a package of salt and thinks nothing of this, and to top it off, salt in the eyes is enough to knock Bret out for a pin? Come on now.

Rating: D+. The size difference here was too much, the time was bad, and the finish was insulting to my intelligence. The wrestling is ok, but just barely. Bret fights valiantly for the full nine minutes of this match and yes you read that right. That’s the biggest issue most people have with this match and this Wrestlemania. The biggest match was less than 10 minutes long.

BUT WAIT!!!

Hulk Hogan comes out because he can’t handle a *gasp* young and talented guy taking the spotlight or something evil like that, so he explains to Fumbles McWhoops our referee what happened and apparently Fuji has match making abilities now as tells Hogan that Yoko will put the belt on the line right now. Bret points to the ring which apparently means go for it.

Hulk slides in and we’re off to the races one more time. The fans are happy, but looking back this is beyond stupid. WHY would Fuji put the newly won title on the line against the greatest giant killer of all time after Yoko has had no rest while Hogan has rested for about half at least? And people wonder why the business was in so much of a hole as it was around this time.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Yoko attacks Hogan as he slides in then holds him for more salt. Hogan ducks, nails Fuji, clotheslines Yoko, drops the leg and wins his fifth title. No rating of course.

Hogan poses with the title as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: F+. This show is truly bad and the main reason behind that is the ending. Hulk Hogan had absolutely no need to come in and steal the spotlight all over again. I don’t care how big of a Hulkamaniac you are, and I’m a huge one, but there is no justification for that whatsoever.

Let Yoko leave with the belt and do this on Raw the next night. Aside from that, the rest of the matches are ok at best. There’s a few watchable matches here and there but there’s no reasoning to sit through the rest of the show for them. Wrestlemania isn’t supposed to be something you need to fast forward through to get to the decent stuff. BIG recommendation to avoid here as this might be the worst WM of all time.

 

 

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1993 (2013 Redo): The New Big Guy

Royal Rumble 1993
Date: January 24, 1993
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

Historical note: this is 13 days after the debut of Monday Night Raw.

Steiner Brothers vs. Beverly Brothers

Scott avoids an elbow drop but Blake breaks up the hot tag again. The crowd is silent when the Beverlies are on offense. Scott comes back with a butterfly powerbomb to put Blake down and Scott actually dives through the ropes and tags at the same time. Rick cleans house and there are Steiner Lines for both Beverlies. Scott pounds on Blake in the corner and counters a Doomsday Device with a victory roll for two. The Frankensteiner to Beau gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here as the Steiners were clearly going to dominate the entire time. The Beverlies never got above lower midcard status and their biggest feud was against the Bushwhackers. What were you going to expect them to do against the freaking STEINER BROTHERS? Nothing here but a squash.

Intercontinental Title: Marty Jannetty vs. Shawn Michaels

Jannetty controls to start, sending Shawn to the floor twice with a knee lift and a clothesline. Marty punches Shawn down on the floor and poses in the ring. He tries a punch off the top but gets caught in the ribs on the way down. Shawn loads Marty up on his shoulder and in one of the only times I can ever remember it working, rams Marty shoulder first into the post.

Sherri finally does something by slapping Shawn, who gets belly to back suplexed into the ring. Shawn gets launched to the floor again as the pace picks up a bit. A powerslam puts the champ down but Shawn avoids the top rope punch. Marty stops himself before crashing and gets two off a DDT. Shawn misses a superkick and gets caught by one of his own for two. The crowd is getting into this.

Marty slingshots Shawn so he gets to do his big bump onto the post. There goes the referee via an elbow to the face and Sherri comes in. She swings her shoe but hits Marty by mistake of course. Shawn yells at her a lot and then superkicks Marty in the chest for the pin to retain.

In the back, Gene yells at Sherri to calm down. Marty comes to the back for some more brawling.

Heenan and Gorilla argue a bit.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Big Boss Man

We get a clip from WWF Mania (Saturday morning show) of Razor beating up Owen to hype the world title match.

WWF World Title: Razor Ramon vs. Bret Hart

Feeling out process to start with Razor getting the early advantage with some right hands. A knee in the corner misses and Bret has on the Figure Four in less than 90 seconds. Razor gets the rope so Bret drops elbows on the knee instead. The leg gets wrapped around the post before Bret goes after the other leg in the corner for some reason. Ramon comes back with a whip to send Bret ribs first into the post.

Here are Caesar and Cleopatra to hype up Wrestlemania. They read a proclamation about it and this is really stupid.

Royal Rumble

Ric Flair is #1 and Bob Backlund, going through a career resurgence at the time, is #2. Backlund drops Flair with a shoulder and does his little dance. Flair pounds him into the corner but Bob backdrops him down. Papa Shango is #3 and is dumped out by Flair in less than thirty seconds. Backlund it sent to the apron and Flair stomps away. They chop it out until Ted DiBiase, I believe half of the tag champions here, is #4.

Heenan makes fun of Backlund as the double teaming ensues, prompting Gorilla to threaten to knock Bobby out. Backlund is beaten on even more until Brian Knobs is #5. The Nasties are good guys at this point and happen to be feuding with Money Inc. Guess who he starts swinging at. Knobs almost dumps Flair but only gets him to the apron. Things slow down for a bit until Virgil is #6. The faces team up to fight the heels as not a lot is going on at this point.

Ratings Comparison

Steiner Brothers vs. Beverly Brothers

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty

Original: C

Redo: C+

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Big Boss Man

Original: D+

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Razor Ramon

Original: B

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: D+

Not much change here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/12/royal-rumble-count-up-1993/

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1993 (Original): His One Shot

Royal Rumble 1993
Date: January 24, 1993
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Gorilla Monsoon

Well, a bit has changed in the last year. For one thing, about two weeks before this, a show called Monday Night Raw debuted. This completely changed the world of wrestling forever. No longer did we have to watch Sunday morning Superstars to get wrestling. We now had it every Monday night in prime time. That really did change the world of wrestling forever. Other than that, Hogan is more or less gone at this point.

He would be back just in time for Mania to steal a title that he had no business being around after guys like Bret and Flair had worked so hard for the past year, but he’s Hulk Hogan and therefore awesome and can get away with stupid moves like that. Savage is on commentary for the most part now but he occasionally wrestles like he’s doing tonight. More on that later though.

Also tonight, we have the relatively rookie wrestler named Razor Ramon getting a world title shot. He was never actually in the Rumble. He always was in some kind of title match or injured. That’s saying a lot. Anyway, not a lot of people remember this show, which could be good or bad. Let’s see how it goes.

Oh and Narcissist debuts tonight.

Alfred Hayes does stupid stuff with fans as I need a revovlver.

Beverly Brothers vs. Steiner Brothers

I guess we can officially say we have a Rumble tradition as this is the fourth year running for a tag match opener. There is ZERO talking during the Beverly entrance. The Steiners get a traditional one though. Rick and Scott were there for little more than a year, but it worked very well I’ve always thought. They’ve been here about a month at this point though so this is their showcase match more or less. Wow that’s a bad draw for them as the Beverlies suck.

Heenan points out that the headgear Rick wears could be a weapon. Technically yes but it’s far better than cauliflower ear. Gorilla and Bobby are at it again, but Gorilla says the Beverlys have been successful. Did I miss something here? Scott gets an armbar and control according to Gorilla, which sounds like something on a game show. Also according to Gorilla, his taxicab driver said he could have sold his ticket for 50x its face value.

So in other words the driver admitted he might illegally scalp it. Yep that’s very smart there buddy. They reiterate that this is the first time where the winner of the Rumble is guaranteed a title shot at Mania, and thereby the tradition is born. Since it’s their first big match, let’s have them get beaten down for the most part. That’s perfectly logical isn’t it? The Steiners are getting beaten up here really badly and it’s just a poorly booked match.

If you’re going to have tag jobbers, then have them look like jobbers. By doing this it looks like Rick and Scott can’t beat a couple of horrible guys. We are LIVE! I always get a kick out of those. They come from nowhere and they don’t tell you anything at all. Also, what kind of an expression is getting a kick out of something? Wouldn’t that hurt instead of being amusing? The Beverlies are bad. Like, really bad.

We finally get to the hot tag but the fans are kind of bored here as it’s just taken too long to get to that. The tag looks awesome as Scott is on the ground and dives for Rick but he goes through the ropes and lands on the apron. That was sweet looking. Rick more or less beats them up by himself until Scott comes back in.

They set him up for a Doomsday Device move but in another SWEET counter, Scott rolls up one of them into a victory roll and the Frankensteiner ends it soon after. The ending two minutes were great but the rest was just bland.

Rating: C-. This is mainly for Rick’s beard and mustache which I think are alive. There’s no way those things aren’t at least creatures of some sort. As for the match, I don’t get why they would have the Beverlies, one of the most boring teams of all time, go in there and beat up Rick and Scott, one of the best of all time, for such a long time. It just made them look weak and while the dominated the end, I didn’t care by then, which defeats the purpose of the match as a whole.

We hit the recap of the Rockers as I’m surprised Okerlund is still with the company at this point. He and Heenan would definitely be gone by the end of the year. Anyway, the Rockers were awesome minus that whole winning anything. We have the Barbershop Incident and Marty was out for a long time.

Shawn started doing this thing where he would fix his hair in front of a mirror in the ring. Marty came from the crowd and Shawn saw his reflection in the mirror which was awesome. After the beatdown swung it at Shawn and hit Sherri who was Shawn’s manager. That led to this match.

Intercontinental Title: Marty Jannetty vs. Shawn Michaels

Sherri is here first as I think they’re trying to go with a Mega Powers Explode angle here. The aisle seems very short here for some reason. The arena is good sized so I don’t know why they would have to do that. Shawn’s belt is blue here for no apparent reason. Shawn is already selling like a mad man. In another unintentional funny moment, Gorilla answers the question of has a woman ever been in love with you by saying are you kidding me?

This is mainly about Sherri because she’s clearly more important than the title involved here. More or less we’ve had all Shawn beating on Marty here as we have this continuing theme of the faces getting beaten up. It’s mainly working on Marty’s left arm which confuses Gorilla for no apparent reason. Watch a string of matches and tell me how many times you see a guy working on the right arm. It simply doesn’t happen.

This is reminding me of the Hardy matches when they feuded as there’s just something odd about seeing these two fight. It’s just not working for me. I don’t get the need for the long pauses in commentary. It’s kind of annoying. Why does Shawn oversell everything? He hits the post shoulder first so both guys have bad wings at this point. In case you missed it the first time, WE ARE LIVE!

We apologize for taking you away from a decent match to let you know that, but we feel a shot of the crowd and a reminder that we’re LIVE is more important. For one of the only times that I can ever remember, the reverse suplex to the floor works for Marty. Sherri smacks Shawn on the floor and only Bobby and Gorilla seem to care. Wow Marty Jannetty can’t do a DDT to save his life.

They’ve picked up the pace a lot here and the crowd is suddenly alive. For reasons of it being required the referee goes down. Marty holds Shawn for a shoe shot from Sherri as my love for alliteration grows. Of course it misses and she’s completely distraught. Amazingly no one seems to care. Ok not really but I wanted to make it seem like it meant something. In a rather dumb ending, Shawn yells at Sherri, Marty gets up, Shawn kicks him and we have a pin. Sherri won’t talk to Gene in the back.

Rating: C. Well, the opening was just off for them but then they turned it up again. The ending was just odd all together though. The problem is these two had a far better match a few months later when Marty actually won the title, which for some reason didn’t happen until May which I’ve never gotten. The chemistry was there to an extent, but at the same time it just wasn’t clicking, which I know sounds weird but I can’t word it any other way.

In the back, Sherri is overreacting at an insane level as Gene even curses. Shawn runs back and looks like he’s going to hit her but Marty runs in for the save. For some reason an orange goes flying. This was just dumb.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Big Boss Man

My, that’s a lot of Bs. Boss Man is just about gone here and is a complete jobber to the stars at this point. Bigelow is freshly returned to the company here and this is I think his first non squash match. There’s zero story here, which just furthers the squash theory. We’re eight seconds in and Boss Man is looking destroyed already. This is all Bigelow here as the announcers aren’t even talking about the match but rather something about Gene and Bobby in Vegas or something.

You can clearly see the fans leaving to get food or whatever in droves. I don’t get why Boss Man was never pushed really hard in the midcard. He’s a jobber here and he’s getting solid pops. They go to the corner and Bigelow gets the traditional 10 punches to the neck. It’s also a fairly morbid match as both men are dead now. Bigelow’s submission here is just holding onto Boss Man from behind. Yep that’s it.

This is just not interesting at all and it’s going on for too long which seems to be a running theme tonight. FINALLY Boss Man does something and he gets a decent back drop on Bigelow. That’s pretty impressive. In another stupid ending, he just clotheslines Boss Man down and hits the headbutt to end it. What’s with that lately?

Rating: D+. It saddens me to see a guy that I always liked like the Boss Man reduced to this. This was a squash and not a very interesting one either. Bigelow completely destroyed him here in the IC Special. I just don’t get why Boss Man was pushed so far down. He wasn’t bad at all and apparently they saw something in him as they kept bringing him back. This was about 10% Boss Man if that, which really is a shame. Bigelow would have a strong initial run and then just fall completely flat.

We see a clip of Razor beating up Owen. Yep that’s not very interesting. Gorilla and Bobby sound odd here. We get a short promo from Razor saying he’ll beat Bret.

WWF Title: Razor Ramon vs. Bret Hart

This was allegedly supposed to have been Warrior instead of Razor. I’ve read that from multiple sources including Bret himself, so I think there might be some truth to it. Warrior had been in the title picture when Bret took it from Flair from out of nowhere. If nothing else it makes sense here for Warrior to have gotten the shot here. I think they went with the right choice in Razor though. Granted Warrior had been thrown out for steroids allegedly so there we go.

Anyway, Razor had been hanging with Flair as a top heel for no apparent reason and then he got a world title shot for no apparent reason. I think he was supposed to be this incredible tough guy but it never really was explained why he was so awesome. Granted he certainly was, but it would have helped a bit.

His character was more or less taken straight from Scarface, but he got incredibly lucky: at the meeting where he pitched the character, Vince and Pat Patterson thought he was improving it and thought he was brilliant. Even still it’s a great character, but DANG what a way to get over good with the boss. Bret, rocking the pink jacket, says that Razor has made it personal.

I guess that’s because of the Owen attack which is kind of a story so I’ll take that over nothing at all. Razor is really young in his WWF time here, having been there about five months at the time. In a very cool shot, we see Bret ready to come through the curtain and getting himself fired up. He stands there for a bit looking like he’s in a coma and at a high point of his music he snaps forward and turns into the Hitman. That was sweetness.

Stu and Helen are of course here as is their custom. Bret winning here is pretty much a given, but a title match is better than nothing at all. Before the bell, just a quick reminder that WE ARE LIVE! This is working pretty well at the start as it’s fairly clear that Razor has a limited but solid offense. He had nearly 10 years experience at this point, but he’s not a great worker yet.

Over the next few years he would just nail the character so well that it could be kind of overlooked. We have a not entirely short early beatdown by Bret which is fine as he’s making Razor look solid. Razor is helping himself as well with some good selling. Naturally we have Bret in trouble soon after this, as Razor works on the ribs. This goes on for awhile and again since the match is pretty good I can’t really comment on it that much.

It’s a very basic style with Bret being in trouble a lot but coming back with some basic offense here and there. Razor keeps him down though and avoids the Sharpshooter at all costs. Bret finally gets off the mat for a bit and we go at it some more. For no reason whatsoever, Ramon uses back to back Greco-Roman knuckle locks, more commonly known as a test of strength. Brain says this could help him work on the ribs. Am I missing something here?

Bret doesn’t get moving quickly that often but when he does it really does work. In a GREAT ending sequence, Bret rolls down the back of the Razor’s Edge and gets a sunset flip for two. Razor kicks out and Bret grabs the legs, locks the Sharpshooter on from the mat and turns Razor over for the tap. OH YES!

Now that is Bret just being awesome out there and using his natural skills to just flat out beat someone he’s in there with. That’s awesome. It’s almost the same ending he used against Perfect in 91 at Summerslam, but dang it’s still cool.

Rating: B. This was a solid enough match for sure, but it could have been just a hair better. I have no clue how, but I know it could have been. Bret was at his best out there, sort of showing Razor where to go without holding his hand. This is what they built the company on for a long while, until somehow Hogan managed to sneak in and take the world title despite not having been doing anything even remotely associated with it for about a year.

Heenan is ready to unveil Narcissus. He’s actually in the arena and not on satellite which surprises me. This was a big deal for the fans of WCW who didn’t know that Luger had jumped. Heenan is liking Luger’s body WAY too much here. It sounds like he wants to jump him or something. Also Luger is posing to some really bad pop/techno music.

I don’t know why Heenan wasn’t associated with him more than he was. I never got that. Bobby gets in a jab at Perfect before Luger talks. He doesn’t help the overtones by mentioning the people getting on their knees before him. It’s an over the top yet effective intro so I’ll give them that.

Caesar and Cleopatra are here for the foreshadowing the idiocy of the World’s Largest Toga Party at Mania. They look so bored out there and they actually try to make this sound serious. It’s just dumb so move on PLEASE.

With no big string of interviews this year, we’re ready for the Rumble.

Royal Rumble

Flair is out first as he wins the award for worst luck in Rumble history. He would get 30 about 14 years later so that’s all fine I guess. He would lose a loser leaves town match the next night on Raw, so guess how he does here. Anyway, we have a battle of the old guys as Bob Backlund is in at 2. He gets zero reaction which is a shame as he really was great. Both guys are wearing red which is interesting looking. HA I beat Heenan to pointing that out!

Wow actually Heenan would last until the end of the year. Sorry for referencing something I said a few pages ago but I just looked that up during a dead spot. Gene would be there until September. I had those dates way off. In at three is Papa Shango which is just about the oddest pick you could have to join these two. Surprisingly he lasts about 20 seconds as Flair sneaks up on him to put him out.

That’s not something I expected but it makes sense. Flair and Backlund are having what should be a pretty historic encounter here, but good night I just couldn’t care less. This would have been epic 10 years earlier, but geez this isn’t interesting at all. DiBiase comes in at 4 as the talent out there is insane. He and IRS are tag champions at this point.

Heenan is sharp here but he’s not up to what he was last year. Granted that’s nearly impossible to pull off. My goodness DiBiase and Flair would be an epic duo. I don’t think the feud would work though. Fifth is Brian Knobbs who was kind of feuding with DiBiase’s team at this time. Wow he just doesn’t fit the mold of the other three in there. DiBiase gets his face rubbed into Knobbs’ arm pit. And people wonder why he left doesn’t associate with wrestling much anymore.

Virgil is in the ring maybe 2 seconds after his buzzer goes off so I’m thinking he jumped early. Naturally he and DiBiase go at it. My goodness he was generic. Backlund is 43 years old by the way. DiBiase puts on Knobbs for a little retribution. At far less than two minutes after Virgil, Lawler comes in at seventh. Flair goes through the ropes to kill some time.

It’s just completely odd to hear Heenan talk about Lawler. We get another funny now line as Bobby says Lawler is Vince’s boss. Again less than two minutes go by and we have Max Moon who may or may not have been Konnan. We’re almost at 1/3 of the way through this and it’s not that interesting at all so far.

Lawler is wearing white/gray which looks like it has flowers on it. It’s really odd looking. Lawler puts out Moon as Genichiro Tenryu of all people is number nine. I can feel the smarks cheering from here. He goes for Flair as I request not to be soaked with semen until after 9pm. Heenan says that Tenryu must be the inspiration for chop suey with all those chops. No that would be Kobashi. Wow I spend too much time on WZ to know that.

Gorilla doesn’t have a running clock this year which I think is a first. Oh he’s told something. Apparently it’s been 20 minutes. Considering I’m watching this online and we’re at 18 minutes on the counter and the match didn’t start until about two minutes, we know that’s a lie. Not to mention he says this before #10 comes out, and with two minute intervals and considering that 1 and 2 are there together, math wise we could only be at about 16 minutes max.

Perfect is in at 10 as Heenan has a bigger heart attack than when Hogan came in last year. Naturally he goes straight at Flair which was a great rivalry that I wish we had gotten more of. For a recap, we currently have Flair, Backlund, DiBiase, Virgil, Lawler, Tenryu and Perfect in there. Perfect really was awesome at this time as this was the height of his face run. He would beat Flair clean the next night (or a week ago depending on how you look at it) in a great match. Bobby is FREAKING here.

You know I wonder what would happen if say Flair won the Rumble and then lost his career the next night. Would there not be a Mania title match? Literally as I finish typing that question, Gorilla says that should that happen there wouldn’t be a title match. It’s like we’re psychos or something! Anyway Skinner is 11th as this is just kind of looking bad so far. Perfect dumps Flair to a HUGE pop. That’s good to hear.

The Hall of Famer Koko B. Ware is in at 12, wearing but not rocking the bright green pants. Who did he sleep with to get a job for so long? I’d love to know. Perfect continues being awesome by putting out Skinner as Heenan challenges Monsoon to a fight. The Rumble is 13 years old now as it’s Samu. Nothing is happening here as we’re really just going through the motions.

Berserker comes in and we now have Backlund, DiBiase, Virgil, Lawler, Tenryu, Perfect, Ware, Samu and Berserker. Good night that’s a lot of jobbers. Perfect drops Lawler to get us down to 8. DiBiase, Ware and Lawler team up to take out Perfect after a long struggle, which disappoints me as he certainly could have gone on a lot longer as a bigger deal.

Virgil is gone too and we’re at 6. The first half ends with Taker who is allegedly the favorite in this match? Sure why not? Taker drops Samu with relative ease as hopefully he’s the guy that drops the jobbers.

Berserker and Backlund are on the floor fighting but are both still in it. Taker throws out Tenryu as I’m guessing that he didn’t get a fair break, he could outwrestle everyone in this match put together, and he had a five star tag match with some other Japanese legend about 4 days prior to this? He also should be going to Mania for some massive crossover show with another company being brought in to make it an international organization.

The fact that no one popped for his entrance, anything he did in the ring or his elimination is irrelevant as well because they just don’t get it and the in ring work is more important than ratings. Just thought I’d spare some morons some keystrokers of idiocy there. Taker vs. DiBiase is an interesting…oh blast it Terry Taylor is in this match. He’s on the Garvin scale of annoying wrestlers. THANK YOU TED DIBIASE! He put out Taylor and Ware in one shot!

Granted he got chokeslammed just after it but I’m happy now. There he goes though so we’re at Backlund, Berserker and Taker at the moment. Since we just had a cool moment, let’s have a stupid one here as Giant Gonzalez debuts. For those of you that don’t know it’s a guy that’s taller than Khali but with about ¼ of his wrestling ability.

The thing is they used the same exact storyline to introduce Khali: Daivari, or in the original case Harvey Whippleman, had managed a guy he had sent after Taker (Kamala and then Hassan/Henry) who Taker had destroyed. The monster appeared, beat up Taker a few times, leading to a major fight that Taker would win. See? It’s the same thing and the main reason why Khali was hated.

We old school guys knew what was coming step by step and it just didn’t work. Gonzalez, who isn’t named here, wears this weird suit that makes him look like a caveman. I can’t believe that at the time, people actually compared him to Andre the freaking Giant. Taker puts out Berserker to make it him alone with Gonzalez. In a standard camera shot, Gonzalez’s hips are above the top rope.

Taker comes up to his shoulders. Damien Demento comes in at I think 17 and Gonzalez throws Taker out, which for some reason counts. Yep that’s about it. Backlund and Demento aren’t in the ring but they’re still in the match so keep that in mind. Taker gets beaten down by Gonzalez which actually was a big deal at the time. This goes on WAY too long as IRS comes out at 18.

About a minute later Tatanka comes in as we realize that the Rumble more or less has started over, which is freaking stupid but whatever. Taker tried to sit up but fails so Paul Bearer has to help him. Sara, Michelle McCool, Paul Bearer, write your own joke. Taker limps after Gonzalez because the Giant worked on his leg. Yep, a monster worked on his leg in his debut. That’s just absurd. No actually it’s stupid.

They try to say Gonzalez was 8 feet tall. It was more like 7’7 but whatever. Jerry Sags is in next at 20 as we get the amazing coincidence again of having a member of the tag champions against a member of the challengers twice in the same Rumble for I think the third straight year. What a coincidence!

Typhoon comes in as Heenan says that they’re getting fresher. Well not really but since this Rumble has completely sucked I can understand his lack of good lines. Fatu is in at 22, more commonly known as Rikishi.

The problem with the reset earlier is beginning to show as we’ve got an army of nothing but jobbers out there that simply aren’t going to win. There’s also the issue of the roster here just flat out sucking. Earthquake is 23rd so we have the Disasters in there together. He goes right at Typhoon as their team was just about to split up. Quake dumps him out with relative ease as I really want this stupid match to end but we’ve got another 7 guys to come out.

Oh for the love of cheese Carlos freaking Colon is in next as Gorilla calls him a youngster. He’s 45 here and older than Backlund. To the majority of you his kids are more famous: Carlito and Primo, although they’re far less talented. He puts out Demento though so he’s already paying dividends. In next we have Tito Santana as we’re getting close to the end here.

VERY allegedly, he was supposed to win this at one point, but since he’s the only person to claim that I have a huge problem believing it. Fatu is out. To recap, we have Tito, IRS, Backlund, Sags, Earthquake, Colon and now Martel as I’m guessing he’ll fight Santana. Of course he does. DANG man they feuded for what, 4 years about a team that was together less than one. That’s even better than the Evolution feud. IRS is out.

Heenan redeems himself a bit by saying Backlund is like a spider monkey. GORILLA MONSOON SAID A BAD WORD! I have never once heard him curse and he did it like it was nothing. Actually there was a tiny little hesitation before he said it which makes me feel better. Yokozuna, who is a relative newcomer at this point, is number 27. He throws out Tatanka with more or less ease and does the same to Carlos. We get Yoko vs. Quake as Owen comes in at 28.

Heenan says he can’t hear Gorilla despite them being on headset together. Yoko actually belly to bellys Quake over the top. That was cool looking. Repo Man is 29th as I’ve made a counting error somewhere in here. Ah there we go it’s fixed now. Everybody gangs up on Yoko but amazingly he fights them all off.

The 30th guy is Savage, so the final list of guys is Backlund, Santana, Sags, Owen, Repo Man, Martel, Savage and Yokozuna. Ok, now in case you’re just an idiot when it comes to old school, you can pretty much guess who this comes down to in the final two. Yoko puts out Santana and then the same to Owen. Repo is gone and we’re down to four. Have to give it to Backlund: this is impressive. He knocks out Martel clean as Heenan is amazed.

Yoko puts him out to a chorus of boos. It amazes me that he was jobbing to Razor at Mania in a glorified squash match. He goes over an hour, setting a new Iron Man record to a great reaction and gets treated like that. If nothing else put him out there with Shawn or Santana and let them tear the house down old school style. So we’re down to Savage against Yoko as Backlund is getting a big ovation.

We get a short one on one match here as Savage gets his ask kicked for a good while. But then, there’s a comeback! Savage has Yoko in real trouble and does something no one else has ever done by knocking him off his feet! Then we get to the ending which I’m not sure if I like or not: Savage has Yoko down and goes up for the elbow. He covers Yoko, who powers out of it, throwing Savage over the top to win the Rumble.

At first I hated this, but the more I think about it the more it makes sense. Savage is as intense as anyone has ever been, so for him to get his mind clouded by being on such a role and go to what is his instinctual finish makes sense to me, even though it’s obvious that it’s scripted. I can live with this and it was a creative way to eliminate him and keep him looking strong at the same time. The Japanese flag waving for a Samoan wrestler takes us out.

Rating: D+. This was BAD. The Gonzalez thing divides the match in half and the first half is even more boring than the first. Backlund is the undisputed star of this match though as he went out there for over an hour and put on a great performance that never once was too farfetched to believe. As for the ending, this is something I wanted to address. I’m torn on whether or not this was the right ending to the Rumble.

I know that Vince wanted to push Yoko as the monster heel, but I think he was completely missing the boat here. What I would have done for my summer feud: Savage vs. Bret for the title. Now think about it. Those are two of the best workers of all time. Are you telling me that those two wouldn’t have put on a freaking classic at Mania? This is where my issues with Vince show up. No one, I repeat no one, can convince me that Yoko was a better choice for the huge push than Savage.

If you don’t believe me, watch Bret vs. Yoko from Mania 9. Yoko was just too fat to be in any real trouble and the match sucked as a result. This was Savage’s first real chance to shine with Warrior and Hogan gone. It’s not like he was incredibly old at the time (he turned 41 in November of that year) but he certainly would have worked for a feud over the summer.

He won multiple world titles down the line in WCW so he certainly still had the it factor. The fans were behind him and Bret hadn’t really gotten a big rub at all. Beating Savage clean certainly would have done that for him.

However, Vince continues his love affair with big huge men that can’t do a ton in the ring (by comparison to Savage that is) so he goes with the David vs. Goliath match, stupidly not realizing that the only thing that could make Yoko look credible for a full match was a power guy, which he got in Luger later in the year.

Either way, the Rumble sucked as once you got down to the final ten there was zero doubt who would win. The announcers were bored out of their minds too, which for Monsoon is saying a lot.

Overall Rating: D. Well let’s see. We have two ok matches, an ok one and a really boring main event. Yeah the D is a generous grade I think. The Ramon and Bret match is the only thing worth watching here as other than that the whole show is just flat out boring. Marty and Shawn is ok at its absolute best but it just falls flat on its face for the most part. The Rumble is just atrocious.

Nothing of note happens, Savage and Yoko are the only two that you think have a shot at winning, with Hogan gone there’s no real A-list star in the match, and it just doesn’t work. Gonzalez also kills the thing by eliminating Taker after about five minutes which isn’t good either.

This whole show was just awful other than a few moments, which certainly weren’t enough to validate this as one of the major, and at the time only, shows of the year. Don’t watch anything on here, not even the best match as it’s like saying someone is the best poster in the prison. Just a bad show all around.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – March 1, 1993: Viva Las Bad Commentator Humor

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 1, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Rob Bartlett

You can tell we’re in a different era of the show here as we aren’t even ten episodes into the series. This is about a month away from Wrestlemania IX and that means things are going to be a little dull for a good while. I’m not sure what to expect, but this is back when they didn’t know what they were doing with Raw yet. Let’s get to it.

Rob Bartlett is Elvis. I don’t want to know.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Fatu

Bret is defending of course and Afa is at ringside. Fatu shoves him around to start as commentary does every Elvis line they can think of. An early elbow misses for Fatu and Bret starts in on the arm. The armbar goes on but Bret gets thrown down and, say it with me, hurts his knee (Vince thinks Afa tripped him, despite Bret being on an opposite side of the ring).

The rollup gets two and we’re back to the armbar. Bret tries a faceplant so Fatu pops up and superkicks him down (I’ve always loved that spot). We hit the nerve hold for a good while before an elbow cuts Bret down for two. Bret is back up with a crossbody for two but Fatu sends him outside where Samu runs in for a slam. We take a break and come back with Fatu hitting a backbreaker as Bartlett continues with the Elvis nonsense.

There’s a piledriver for two on Bret, who seems to have a broken nose. A whip into the corner gets two so Bartlett talks about Clambake. The middle rope headbutt gives Fatu two more so he goes up again, this time getting crotched and superplexed for two. The backbreaker into the middle rope elbow sets up the Sharpshooter but Afa offers a distraction. Samu gets in a cheap shot but Bret sends them into each other, which gets Samu’s head tied in the ropes (always looks scary). Afa is dropkicked off the apron and the Sharpshooter gives Bret the win at 16:24.

Rating: C+. I know he is best known as a less than serious wrestler but Fatu is someone who can have a good match if he is given a chance. Then you put him in there with one of the best ever and there isn’t much more you could expect. Having Bret beat some monsters, even three of them at once, is a good way to set up Wrestlemania so well done on the thinking.

Bartlett is having a sandwich and popcorn. Oh yeah it’s 1993.

It’s time for the Wrestlemania Report with Gene Okerlund, who never felt right on Raw. We run down part of the card and this just does not feel like Wrestlemania. It isn’t as bad as people remember it being, but it’s such a weak Wrestlemania and that’s what ruined the thing. Gene throws it back to Savage, while making Joey Buttafucco jokes. That would be a case involving a relationship with an underage woman, which Savage said never would have happened if she had met him first. These jokes would write themselves, but that’s not exactly a funny situation.

Crush is on the beach in Hawaii and crushes a coconut like he’s going to do against Doink.

Doink The Clown vs. Koko B. Ware

Doink comes out with a present to be creepy, so Bartlett talks about how much he loves him and hopes there is food in the box. Doink goes straight to the leg as Vince explains the idea of Doink being a clown but also a wrestler, which at least touches on the rather interesting idea they had here. The leg work continues and it’s the Stump Puller to finish Koko at 1:48. This worked better than it should have.

Post match Bartlett gets to do the interview with Doink because Vince is going to get his money’s worth out of this one way or another. Bartlett hopes there is food in the box and gets a pie in the face. Bartlett: “Hey man that’s great!”

Here’s Money Inc. for a chat. Ted DiBiase talks about the former CEO of American Express only getting $700,000 in retirement money every year, plus millions in bonuses. They are dropping American Express because that’s just horrible to hear. As for Wrestlemania, they can’t believe that Hulk Hogan is coming out of retirement after a year in Hollywood.

All Hogan has done is take away one of their biggest wastes of money by getting rid of Jimmy Hart. IRS says they care about themselves and promise to hurt Hogan worse than they hurt Brutus Beefcake. They hold up the briefcase, which has Hogan’s face on it. Granted it has all of his upper body on it but saying it has his shoulder on it doesn’t sound as good. And sure they’ll put the Tag Team Titles on the line at Wrestlemania.

Lex Luger vs. PJ Walker

Walker is better known as Justin Credible and looks to be about 14. Luger starts whipping him into the corner as Bobby Heenan calls in from Beverly Hills to complain about going on the road for All American Wrestling. He also thinks Elvis is George Steinbrenner because they’re bringing Heenan down with this gag as well. Luger hits a suplex as Heenan puts “Priscilla Presley” on the phone as Elvis wants to see Luger make his chest bounce. The forearm finishes Walker at 3:08.

Rating: D. Good freaking grief enough with the “comedy” already. The fact that your wrestling show isn’t enough to entertaining the fans might suggest that some changes need to be made, but that didn’t stop them for years. Heenan was funny enough, but egads get some better material.

Post match, Luger says Walker makes him sick.

Vince tells us to stay tuned for the Steiner Brothers, Rob and Scott.

Steiner Brothers vs. Duane Gill/Barry Hardy

Scott runs Hardy over to start and throws him around with the belly to belly. Rick comes in for the running clothesline to the floor before driving Hardy ribs first into the corner. There’s the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker as Bartlett is now denying that he is Steinbrenner. A dropkick sends Gill flying and there’s the tiger bomb. The Frankensteiner is good for the pin at 4:08.

Rating: C-. I could watch the Steiners beat people up for days and this worked rather well. If nothing else it was a way to avoid listening to Bartlett’s horrible shtick. The Frankensteiner might be a common move now but it was one of the coolest finishers ever in 1993 and it still looks good today. Throw in all of the suplexes and this was the fun Steiners formula, as expected.

Quick preview for next week wraps it up.

Overall Rating: D+. Rob Bartlett’s Elvis nonsense killed this show and for the life of me I don’t know why they kept doing stuff with him. He seems to be a funny enough guy but it feels so completely out of place here and it’s killing a lot of stuff that wasn’t very good in the first place. The show was its usual fare for the early days, but get him out of there as soon as possible.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




SuperBrawl 1991: The One Match Savior

IMG Credit: WWE

SuperBrawl I
Date: May 19, 1991
Location: Bayfront Arena, St. Petersburg, Florida
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Dusty Rhodes

I haven’t looked at some early WCW in a long time so hopefully it lives up to the rather low expectations. This is the first show of the series and is taking place in May instead of the regular February. The main event is Ric Flair vs. Tatsumi Fujinami for both the WCW and NWA World Titles, because that was still a thing back then. Let’s get to it.

The opening video has a bunch of American and Japanese flags, to show you what the entire point is.

As usual, I must ask, WHY IS THE BIG WCW LOGO TILTED JUST A BIT???

Singer Randy Brown performs America the Beautiful, because WCW thinks we need some mostly unknown singer at every pay per view.

Dusty Rhodes is VERY excited about the World Title match so I might as well get this out of the way here.

The WCW and NWA World Titles were separate belts but represented by the same champion for a few months. In other words, yes Flair was the NWA World Champion, but not one mentioned that in America, where he was only billed as the WCW World Champion. They mentioned it in Japan though, and back in March, Tatsumi Fujinami beat Flair in a match for only the NWA World Title.

However, since that wasn’t a thing in America, WCW said that Flair was still World Champion because he was thrown over the top rope. In Japan, Fujinami was billed as champion because he pinned Flair, making it title for title at SuperBrawl. WCW billed it as only Flair defending in a rematch, because WCW and the NWA liked making things WAY more complicated than they should have been time after time after time (and on top of THAT, commentary in March said that Fujinami’s IWGP World Title was on the line but it was never mentioned to the live crowd).

And yes, I did have to write that about three different times so I could make any sense of the whole thing.

US Tag Team Titles: Fabulous Freebirds vs. Young Pistols

The titles are vacant coming in due to the Steiner Brothers winning the World Tag Team Titles. The Freebirds have manager Diamond Dallas Page (with one of the Diamond Dolls) and Road Boss Big Daddy Dink because they needed a three person entourage. Page has a headset microphone and talks a lot of annoying trash, showing why he would have a job for a long time to come.

Steve (Armstrong, of the Armstrongs) starts with Michael Hayes and an early rollup gives Armstrong two. Everything breaks down in a hurry with the Birds being sent outside and taken down by a double clothesline from the apron. Back in and Dink trips Steve down so the Birds can take over for a change. Cue Brad Armstrong (Steve’s brother) to even things up a bit as there are WAY too many people involved here.

Thankfully the referee gets rid of everyone but the people actually in the match and it’s Steve slipping under a double clothesline for the hot tag to Tracy (Smothers) who clears the ring in a hurry. Back in and a double shoulder gets two on Jimmy Garvin (that hair is amazing) so it’s already back to Hayes. That means a lot of walking around and clapping, because Hayes REALLY likes doing that quite a bit. A low bridge puts Tracy on the floor and Garvin drops him onto the barricade for a nasty looking crash.

Tracy gets knocked off the apron a few more times before Garvin knees him in the head back inside. Hayes gets in a left hand to the head to drop Tracy again but a superkick (nowhere near a big deal in 1991) puts Garvin down. It’s off to Armstrong to clean house as everything breaks down again. The Birds avoid missile dropkicks but get clotheslined outside in a heap.

Back in and a Hart Attack (elbow instead of clothesline but close enough) off the top drops Hayes and a dropkick version does the same to Garvin. The referee gets bumped in the process though and here’s a masked man in a feathered suit (complete with FANTASIA on the chest) to DDT both Pistols to give the Birds the pin and the titles at 10:21.

Rating: C-. This was a bit disjointed due to a lot of stalling from the Birds, plus all of the interference was kind of a distraction. That being said, at least they had a hot ending with the Birds cheating (as they were known to do) to win the titles. The Pistols looked good though and it’s easy to see why they were around as long as they were.

Ricky Morton vs. Dan Spivey

This was during the period where Robert Gibson was injured and Morton was wrestling on his own. Spivey wastes no time in throwing him around and sending Morton outside. It works so well that he does it again, followed by a DDT to drop Morton back inside. A clothesline gives Spivey two and there’s a Razor’s Edge to keep Morton down. Morton’s crossbody is countered with a fall away slam and a legdrop gets two. Spivey gets rolled up for two so he powerbombs the heck out of Morton for the pin at 3:12.

Rating: D+. Total squash here with Morton’s offense coming in the form of a rollup. Spivey was a monster who always seemed like he could be something but he never broke through to the next level. When he can do something dominant like this though, you can see why he kept getting chance after chance.

Z-Man and Missy Hyatt are here. Z-Man is injured but will be back soon. As for Missy, she is going to be in the dressing room for interviews tonight. She tried this at WrestleWar and got chased off by Stan Hansen. Missy promises an improvement tonight.

Nikita Koloff vs. Tommy Rich

Rich hits an early crossbody for one so Koloff glares at him a bit. The early feeling out process continues with Rich’s headlock so Koloff sends him into the buckle. Some forearms to the back and an elbow to the ribs get two on Rich but he’s back with right hands in the corner. The spinning high crossbody misses though and the Russian Sickle finishes Rich at 4:07.

Rating: D. Another squash here as Koloff is moving forward towards the US Title that commentary mentioned half a dozen times here. It’s just such a weird sight to see so many squash matches like this on a pay per view. I know it’s a different time and this was normal, but I feel like I’m paying to watch a weekly TV show.

Here are Teddy Long and newcomer Johnny B. Badd, who promise to knock out PN News. Johnny gets in his classic line of “I’m so pretty I should have been born a little girl.” to mess with Schiavone’s head.

Dustin Rhodes vs. Terrance Taylor

Taylor is part of the York Foundation, a corporate group with Alexandra York (Terri Runnels/Marlena) and security guard Mr. Hughes. The idea is that York has a computer which tells her how her wrestlers can win her matches, which is something that sounds interesting in theory. Unfortunately that’s the extent of its usefulness: in theory. Taylor shoves him into the corner to start but we pause for a word from the computer.

A shoulder puts Taylor on the floor for more consultations as Dustin is getting annoyed. Back in and Dustin takes him down with an armdrag as Dusty is proud of his son. Taylor slips out and let’s check that computer again, allowing Dusty to say Dustin is getting flustered. Dustin wins the slugout and headlocks Taylor down for a breather. As you might have expected, Taylor stalls again on the floor as JR wonders if they’re going to overload the computer.

Back in again and Dustin gets one off a suplex but misses a crossbody (after looking like he nearly fell running the ropes) and falls out onto the ramp. A suplex brings him back in for one but Taylor dives into the raised boot in the eternally dumb looking spot. Dustin grabs the bulldog, drawing York up to the apron. Hughes grabs Dustin and loads up a glove but hits Taylor by mistake, giving Dustin the pin at 8:05.

Rating: C. The computer stuff was fine for a midcard gimmick but it got annoying here as they kept doing it over and over. Dustin was going to get a strong push around here due to all of his potential and his dad being in charge of the place, but at least he could do a lot of good things in the ring.

The announcers talk about the live bears that are about to come to the ring. Yes, this is indeed a WCW show.

Black Bart vs. Big Josh

Bart is an evil cowboy who was around forever. Josh is a woodsman better known as Matt Borne, the original Doink. And yes, he does come out with some rather large bears (Ring announcers: “Along with a couple of buddies!”). To be fair, I liked Josh back in the day so they might have been on to something.

Rating: D-. This was unbearable for the most part as it was a sloppy brawl with neither looking good. I can see why Josh is someone they wanted to push for the sake of making kids smile, but my goodness this was a terrible match and it’s probably about as good as the two were going to be able to do.

Here’s Paul E. Dangerously, in a pink shirt, shorts and a cowboy hat, for his Danger Zone interview segment. After mocking the microphone for not working, here’s Stan Hansen as his rather angry guest. Heyman says the hat makes him a real cowboy and Hansen looks ready to kill him. With the tobacco dripping out of his mouth, he wants to talk to all of the young guys who won’t fight him tonight, including Dustin Rhodes. And that’s it, with Hansen leaving so Heyman can talk about the rest of the card until his microphone dies.

With that out of the way, we get the huge entrance for OZ, complete with the Great Wizard (who the ring announcer points out is NOT the Wizard of Oz), Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man and the Cowardly Lion. They get up to the big castle set where they find Oz, in his big green robe with a horned hat, who promises to show them who Oz really is. Great Wizard (Kevin Sullivan), over and over again on the way to the ring: “WELCOME TO OZ! WELCOME TO OZ!”

Oz vs. Tim Parker

Emerald City Slam (James Storm’s Eye of the Storm) ends Parker at 25 seconds. This is one of the all time great disasters, as WCW was told to do something with the fact that Turner had acquired the rights to the Wizard of Oz. Next up was supposed to be Rhett Butler from Gone With The Wind, and no I’m not kidding.

Missy tries to get another interview and finds Terry Taylor, who says this isn’t it for the York Foundation and Dustin Rhodes. That doesn’t interest Missy but she thinks Z-Man might be in the shower. Instead it’s Stan Hansen, who apparently wears his underwear in the shower. From walking to the ring and talking a lot??? Stan chases her off again.

Brian Pillman vs. Barry Windham

Taped fist match. Windham shoves him down to start and that doesn’t please Brian at all. Pillman takes him into the corner and hammers away with Windham asking the referee if Pillman knows the rules. Some right hands to the ribs slow Brian down but he’s fine enough to dropkick Windham off the top for a big crash. The top rope right hand to the floor drops Windham again but he posts Pillman to shut that down. They’re already both busted as Pillman is sent onto the ramp, allowing Windham to drop him face first onto the barricade. Pillman gets back to his feet and Dusty is VERY into this. Back in and Pillman scores with a spinwheel kick and some chops with the sweat flying off of Windham’s chest. More chops rock Windham but he’s grabs a belly to back suplex. They hit heads for a double knockdown and it’s Pillman heading up top. That earns him a quick low blow though and Windham superplexes him for the pin at 6:09.

Rating: C+. They were beating the heck out of each other in there but the match never really got into another gear. That being said, their feud wasn’t all that great in the first place as Pillman didn’t really win any of the bigger matches and jobs again here. What exactly were they expecting him to get out of the feud after Windham beat him time after time?

Diamond Dallas Page gets an interview, though only after he asks everyone in the back to shut up (politely) and then asks if we are live, because WCW can never get their production right. He promised to bring gold back to the Diamond Exchange and that is what happened earlier tonight with the United States Title.

Page throws us to a pretaped interview with Sting and Lex Luger, who are ready for an unreal match with their friends the Steiner Brothers. Back in the arena, Page brings out the latest addition of the Diamond Mine: the Diamond Stud, better known as Scott Hall (so yes, Hall and Nash both made their debuts on the same show in your forgotten trivia of the night).

Sid Vicious vs. El Gigante

Stretcher match. It’s so weird to see Sid, who is freaking huge, coming up to Gigante’s chin. Gigante offers a test of strength in a funny bit and then clotheslines Sid outside. Back in and Sid kicks at the leg but charges into a boot to the chest. The Claw finishes Sid at 2:12, because WCW has a weird definition of Stretcher match.

Post match it’s the One Man Gang and Kevin Sullivan coming in to jump Gigante as Sid walks away without touching the stretcher because WCW (and because he’s going to the WWF). Gigante puts Gang on the stretcher but Sullivan throws powder in his eyes. Some chain shots don’t do much to Gigante, who glares both of them off.

Ron Simmons vs. Butch Reed

In a cage with former Doom manager Teddy Long in a small cage above the ring. If nothing else, I get to hear the old Ron Simmons theme three times and that’s a rather appealing situation. Simmons punches him down in a hurry but misses a charge into the cage. He’s fine enough to grab a belly to back suplex but gets sent into the cage again. Reed gets in a few rams into the cage and there’s a rake of the boot over the face.

Simmons is busted open so Reed hammers away and then brags to Long. A middle rope ax handle to the head drops Simmons, who pops back up to send Reed into the cage. Reed does the same though and they’re both down again. It’s Reed up first with a piledriver and another ram into the cage, setting up the chinlock.

The fans get behind Ron but a swinging neckbreaker brings him right back down. Reed’s splash hits knees but he knees Simmons down without much trouble. A double clothesline puts both of them down so Long throws something down to Reed. Reed picks it up but walks into the spinebuster for the fast pin at 9:40.

Rating: C-. They were trying here but it felt more like a house show match than anything else. Simmons got beaten up for the better part of ten minutes and then hit a quick spinebuster for the pin. That’s not exactly thrilling but Simmons would be getting a rocket strapped to his back sooner rather than later and Reed was gone after this so it’s not like there was any other option.

Video on Sting/Luger vs. the Steiner Brothers. They’re both great teams (or at least one great team and one team of two very successful singles wrestlers) and this is THE match on the show, bar none. The video does a very good job of making this feel epic too so well done on getting the big one right.

World Tag Team Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Lex Luger/Sting

Luger (US Champion)/Sting are challenging and everyone is friendly here. Everyone shakes hands to start and it’s Luger vs. Rick to get things going. They fight over a lockup to start with Rick driving him into the corner and then wrestling Luger to the mat with ease. Back up and Rick sweeps the legs again as Luger can’t do a thing with him in the amateur stuff. Rick tries a flying shoulder and just bounces off of Lex, who snaps off a powerslam for two. This is one of those matches where you can feel the energy on everything they do and it’s an awesome atmosphere.

Rick is back with a belly to back suplex and a heck of a Steiner Line for two. There’s a backdrop to send Luger flying but he EXPLODES out of the corner with a clothesline of his own. The big gorilla press has Sting fired up and he comes in with a clothesline over the top, setting up the big dive to the floor, which wasn’t something you saw every day back in 1991. Back in and Sting hits that running bulldog of his before putting him upside down in the corner, ala Rick Steiner.

The Stinger Splash misses though and it’s off to Scott for a tiger driver. There’s the tilt-a-whirl to plant Sting, who pops back up with a hot shot. It’s back to Luger for a suplex before going back to Sting, who is quickly atomic dropped. A belly to belly superplex gives Scott two but he misses a clothesline and nearly falls onto the announcers’ table. Another suplex brings him back in for two and they seem to botch something, only to have Scott snap off something like a spinning northern lights suplex.

Luger knocks him down again and loads up the Rack, only to switch to a Russian legsweep with Scott almost landing on top of him. Rick comes in off the blind tag though and there’s the top rope bulldog into an elbow for two. Sting gets a tag that the referee misses and missile dropkicks Rick as everything breaks down. Luger and Rick hit heads and it’s a double tag so Sting can belly to back Scott.

A Tombstone plants Scott with Rick making a save. The ref gets bumped to the floor and Rick follows him out with Luger. There’s the Stinger Splash into the Scorpion Deathlock but here’s Nikita Koloff (with a shot from behind in one of those images that is burned into my memory from childhood) to hit Sting with a chain (though he was aiming for Luger) to give Scott the pin to retain at 11:10. The Steiners did not see Koloff interfere.

Rating: A. There are certain matches where you can just feel everything and that was the case here. This was presented as a special match and they lived up to the whole thing. The ending might seem cheap but you don’t want to change the titles, beat Sting or beat the US Champion so what else can you do but a dirty finish? Check this one out if you want to see four guys beating the heck out of each other and the fans being into every second of it. Outstanding stuff and there is a reason this match is considered one of WCW’s best.

In the back, Koloff says Sting was in the wrong place at the wrong time so here’s Sting for the brawl. They go out into the parking lot and the camera loses them.

TV Title: Bobby Eaton vs. Arn Anderson

Eaton is challenging and JR makes a big point of him having no partner or manager anymore, mainly because WCW boss Jim Herd HATED Jim Cornette (it was mutual) and the Midnight Express. They go to the mat a few times for a standoff so Eaton just pops him with a right hand to the jaw. Anderson is a good bit wobbly as he gets up to kick Eaton in the ribs.

Eaton comes out of the corner with a clothesline for two but gets launched off the top and down onto the ramp for a big crash. The piledriver on the ramp is countered into the backdrop though and a second backdrop puts Anderson inside again. The armbar stays on Anderson, who pops right up and wraps the leg around the post. Anderson works on the leg but Eaton fights up this time and sends Anderson face first into the turnbuckles about fifteen times in a row. A big right hand rocks Anderson again but the knee gives out to slow Eaton down.

Anderson is back on the knee with a crank and stomp, followed by the longer form crank. The Vader Bomb hits knees but Anderson snaps off that perfect spinebuster for two. Eaton punches him out of the air and hits a running neckbreaker to drop Anderson. It’s time for the Alabama Jam (top rope legdrop)…..as Windham and Pillman have the most random run in this side of a Russo show to brawl on the ramp. Anyway Eaton drops the leg and gets the pin at 11:49, which goes down as we look at Pillman and Windham (who never touched Anderson or Eaton) running away. It really is as random as it sounds.

Rating: C. The ending interruption really did come out of nowhere and feels insane. I liked the story they were telling here with Eaton fighting through the pain to finally win a singles title and you can’t argue with Anderson putting him over clean. Eaton was a great star on his own but he would drop the title later in the month to some newcomer named Steve Austin. They were trying here, but nothing was following that tag match and I think they knew it.

Tatsumi Fujinami’s manager Hiro Matsuda (who trained Hulk Hogan and Lex Luger among others) says they’re bringing the title back to Japan.

WCW World Title/NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Tatsumi Fujinami

I’ve lost track of which titles are on the line just from listening to the introductions so we’ll say it’s both for the sake of my sanity. Flair is in the classic black and white robe but WHAT IS THAT MUSIC??? He has one of the most iconic themes ever and they switched it??? There are two referees here (one from America on the floor and one from Japan on the floor) to make it even more confusing. Fujinami shoulders him down to start and it’s clearly in first gear so far.

Some chops rock Flair and a backdrop makes it worse as Fujinami can stomp away. The surfboard keeps Flair in trouble and Fujinami switches to a Boston crab to keep him screaming. We go old school with an Indian deathlock as Flair can’t get anything going here. A suplex finally gets Flair out of trouble but Fujinami is right back with a running forearm for two.

They go outside with Flair scoring with some chops, meaning it’s time to start in on the leg. A shinbreaker sets up an early Figure Four and Flair slaps him in the face with the hold on, which is rarely a good idea. Fujinami gets out and grabs a Scorpion Deathlock (Flair just can’t get away from that thing), sending Flair straight to the rope. A belly to back suplex drops Fujinami and Flair stomps away, setting up a WOO.

They head outside with Flair going into the barricade to draw some blood (yes, in a Flair match), meaning Fujinami has a fresh target. The staggered Flair falls back outside where he gets in a thumb to the eye but gets slammed off the top. The Octopus goes on and you can see the fans looking confused. Flair flips his way out but loses a slugout to knock him down again. A small package gives Fujinami two and we get a ref bump. The American referee comes in and Flair grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin to retain/win/whatever it is at 18:39.

Rating: C. The wrestling was fine but egads they misfired on the story here. Flair was a heel coming in, the title situation was a complete wreck and Fujinami isn’t known by the masses. Flair and Fujinami are both amazing performers, but there is only so much that you can do when you’re in this lame of a situation. Then again, given some of the horrible drek on this show, this was on the higher end of the show.

The announcers talk about the card and we look at the ending of the main event again.

Credits roll to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. That tag match is the ONLY thing that keeps this show from being a failure but there is only so much that can be done in an eleven minute match on a two hour and forty minute show. There is a great reason why WCW in 1991 is such a complete and utter nightmare and that’s what we had here. Horrible show here and run FAR away from this outside of the all time classic tag match.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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