Royal Rumble 1993
Date: January 24, 1993
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

This is a pretty forgotten show for reasons that should be obvious. First of all, this is 1993, one of the worst years in company history from a creative standpoint. Bret is defending the title against Razor Ramon (his only world title shot ever) and we’ve got the Rumble for the title shot at Wrestlemania for the first time. I don’t know if that’s official here, but the winner did indeed get the shot at the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

Historical note: this is 13 days after the debut of Monday Night Raw.

Steiner Brothers vs. Beverly Brothers

For you ECW freaks, Bill Alfonzo is the referee. Scott and I think Blake start things off. This is the Steiners’ first major match and the fans seem to love them right off the bat. Scott immediately takes him to the mat with a top wristlock, causing Blake to freak out with a claim of tights being pulled. That sequence worked so well that they do it again. Heenan is very excited about the debut of Narcissist, which is Lex Luger as a guy obsessed with his muscles. In other words, Lex Luger debuts tonight.

After Blake stalls some more, here’s Beau to taunt the not legal Rick. There’s the tag to Rick who chases Beau around and hits Blake in the process. A powerslam puts Rick down and I don’t think Gorilla knows which Beverly is which. Since this is a Steiners match, it’s time for suplexes! Scott nearly kills Beau with a belly to belly and everything breaks down for a bit, allowing the Beverlies to take over on Scotty.

We get into a standard formula with Scott having his back worked on by both villains. Blake chokes with a tag rope in the corner for two. Heenan: “Gotta hook the tights.” Gorilla: “WHAT?” I love how shocked he sounds every time Heenan says something like that. Beau puts on a Boston Crab but Scott easily pushes out of it. Blake blocks a tag and let’s make sure that we’re LIVE still. What was WWF’s obsession with that?

Scott avoids an elbow drop but Blake breaks up the hot tag again. The crowd is silent when the Beverlies are on offense. Scott comes back with a butterfly powerbomb to put Blake down and Scott actually dives through the ropes and tags at the same time. Rick cleans house and there are Steiner Lines for both Beverlies. Scott pounds on Blake in the corner and counters a Doomsday Device with a victory roll for two. The Frankensteiner to Beau gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here as the Steiners were clearly going to dominate the entire time. The Beverlies never got above lower midcard status and their biggest feud was against the Bushwhackers. What were you going to expect them to do against the freaking STEINER BROTHERS? Nothing here but a squash.

We recap the Rockers’ time together and their split. If my eyesight is correct, you can see Shane Douglas as a jobber. After the Barber Shop incident, Jannetty was out for months. He finally returned on Superstars, setting up the match tonight for Shawn’s Intercontinental Title. During his return, Jannetty accidentally hit Sheri with a mirror, which is important to know for the match.

Intercontinental Title: Marty Jannetty vs. Shawn Michaels

Sherri is at ringside with the question being who would she side with? Why would she side with Marty anyway? I never got that. Apparently it’s because Shawn never called her while she was in the hospital….which she was in because of Marty. So why would she ever go with Jannetty? Apparently Jannetty was drunk during this match. That might make things a bit funnier if nothing else.

Jannetty controls to start, sending Shawn to the floor twice with a knee lift and a clothesline. Marty punches Shawn down on the floor and poses in the ring. He tries a punch off the top but gets caught in the ribs on the way down. Shawn loads Marty up on his shoulder and in one of the only times I can ever remember it working, rams Marty shoulder first into the post.

The champ rams the other shoulder into the post because he hit the right one the first time, and you just don’t do that. Back in and Shawn hits a shoulderbreaker before sending Marty to the floor again. Back in and the shoulder goes into the buckle, followed by a double ax right down onto it as well. We hit the armbar but Marty fights out quickly. He tries a comeback but walks into a DDT on the arm for two.

Quick sidebar: why is that move called a single arm DDT? It’s a hold used on the arm, but the double arm DDT is used to hurt the head. Also a regular DDT uses just one arm, so why is this called a single arm DDT instead of the regular one? These are the kinds of things I think about when I’m bored by a match.

Anyway, Shawn does the always stupid looking jump into the boot spot. I mean he jumped RIGHT AT Marty’s feet. What could he possibly have been trying there? Marty avoids a charge in the corner, sending Shawn’s shoulder into the post instead. Marty speeds things up and pounds away, only to have Shawn slingshot him out to the floor. Shawn goes to pick him up but Marty suplexes him out to the floor.

Sherri finally does something by slapping Shawn, who gets belly to back suplexed into the ring. Shawn gets launched to the floor again as the pace picks up a bit. A powerslam puts the champ down but Shawn avoids the top rope punch. Marty stops himself before crashing and gets two off a DDT. Shawn misses a superkick and gets caught by one of his own for two. The crowd is getting into this.

Marty slingshots Shawn so he gets to do his big bump onto the post. There goes the referee via an elbow to the face and Sherri comes in. She swings her shoe but hits Marty by mistake of course. Shawn yells at her a lot and then superkicks Marty in the chest for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. This started slow, picked up a good bit during Marty’s comeback, and then had a horribly uninteresting ending. Seriously, that’s it? These two would have a rematch soon after on Raw which won Match of the Year in a contest for least bad match of the year for all intents and purposes.

In the back, Gene yells at Sherri to calm down. Marty comes to the back for some more brawling.

Heenan and Gorilla argue a bit.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Big Boss Man

Bigelow jumps Boss Man in the corner to start and Boss is in trouble early. He gets whipped into the corner and a Bigelow forearm knocks him to the outside. This is one of those “do one move then stand around for awhile” matches. Boss Man comes back with some clotheslines and some punches to the “face” in the corner. Another right hand and a bulldog puts Bigelow down but Boss Man’s charge is countered by a backdrop to the floor.

Off to a body vice by Bigelow which is a rather dull move as usual. A hot shot puts Boss Man down for two and some shots to his back keeps him down. We hit the body vice again but Boss Man comes back with a suplex. It hurts him more than Bigelow though, as Bam is up first. Boss Man starts his real comeback with a punch to the face and a running crotch attack to Bigelow’s back. Bigelow gets a boot up in the corner and clotheslines Boss Man down. The flying headbutt gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was pure filler and not even entertaining filler. Bigelow was on the rise at this point while Boss Man would be gone in less than two months. On top of that, the match was really dull with Bigelow laying around and working on Boss Man’s back most of the time, which doesn’t make for an interesting match at all.

We get a clip from WWF Mania (Saturday morning show) of Razor beating up Owen to hype the world title match.

Razor says he’s got gold around his fingers and neck and now he wants it around his waist.

Bret says he’s ready.

WWF World Title: Razor Ramon vs. Bret Hart

Feeling out process to start with Razor getting the early advantage with some right hands. A knee in the corner misses and Bret has on the Figure Four in less than 90 seconds. Razor gets the rope so Bret drops elbows on the knee instead. The leg gets wrapped around the post before Bret goes after the other leg in the corner for some reason. Ramon comes back with a whip to send Bret ribs first into the post.

Now we get to the best part of any Bret Hart match: him getting the tar beaten out of him. Some backbreakers on the floor keep Bret down and we head inside again. Razor pounds on the ribs some more and hits the fallaway slam for two. Helen Hart (Bret’s mom) is in the front row. There’s the chest first into the buckle bump from Bret for two more and it’s off to the abdominal stretch, another Razor trademark.

As always, Bret reverses Hall’s hold into one of his own before getting hiptossed over. Bret is sent to the floor on a kickout and gets two on a sunset flip. We hit the reverse chinlock by Razor, followed quickly by a bearhug. Bret bites his way out of it and sends Razor to the outside in a quick move. The champion follows it up with a suicide dive and the comeback is on.

Bret pounds away in the corner over and over as we hit the brawl. For a guy known as a technical master, Bret brawled an awful lot. Not that he’s bad at it or anything but it happens really often. There are the Five Moves of Doom but Razor gets to the rope before the Sharpshooter is on. The second attempt doesn’t work either as Razor pulls the referee into a pile with the two of them.

Ramon goes right back to the ribs and Bret’s momentum is stopped dead. A belly to back superplex is blocked by Bret into a belly to back suplex for two for the champ. Razor clotheslines Bret down but Bret escapes the Razor’s Edge into a backslide for two. In a pretty awesome ending, Bret counters a test of strength into a sunset flip in a sweet flip counter, followed by grapevining the legs together on the mat and turning Razor over into the Sharpshooter for the submission.

Rating: B. Good match here and again, why did Razor never get more title matches? I know he wasn’t the kind of guy to make the world champion, but are you telling me that when the company was falling apart at times they couldn’t throw him in there as a token challenger? I would have bought him as legit threat to any champion, but it never happened. I’ve never gotten that. Anyway, solid match here as you would expect from these two.

Heenan unveils Narcissist, which is Lex Luger in front of a bunch of mirrors. Lots of posing commences and Heenan sounds like he’s in love. Well at least extreme lust. Luger says he’ll be dominant. Not much here. A curtain is lowered over Luger and Heenan actually gets on his knees, begging to see more. I’ve heard of overtones but this is ridiculous.

Here are Caesar and Cleopatra to hype up Wrestlemania. They read a proclamation about it and this is really stupid.

Royal Rumble

Ric Flair is #1 and Bob Backlund, going through a career resurgence at the time, is #2. Backlund drops Flair with a shoulder and does his little dance. Flair pounds him into the corner but Bob backdrops him down. Papa Shango is #3 and is dumped out by Flair in less than thirty seconds. Backlund it sent to the apron and Flair stomps away. They chop it out until Ted DiBiase, I believe half of the tag champions here, is #4.

Heenan makes fun of Backlund as the double teaming ensues, prompting Gorilla to threaten to knock Bobby out. Backlund is beaten on even more until Brian Knobs is #5. The Nasties are good guys at this point and happen to be feuding with Money Inc. Guess who he starts swinging at. Knobs almost dumps Flair but only gets him to the apron. Things slow down for a bit until Virgil is #6. The faces team up to fight the heels as not a lot is going on at this point.

DiBiase tosses out Knobs and we’re down to four in the ring again. Here’s the pretty new Jerry Lawler at #7 in a HUGE cape. I think he’s a heel here but Flair grabs him for some chops almost immediately. Flair goes to the floor through the middle ropes so Virgil goes after Lawler. Flair gets back in and Jerry immediately goes after him. Oh never mind as Heenan is praising Lawler. He’s a heel alright.

Max Moon (presumably played by Konnan) is #8. He hits a few moves and is dumped by Lawler before anyone else shows up. Lawler’s attire is really intricate here with lots of writing on it instead of the usual two color design. I kind of like it for a change. Japanese legend Genichiro Tenryu is #9 and he starts a chop-off with Flair as you would expect them to do.

Things slow down a bit until Mr. Perfect is #9 at a full sprint. Heenan: “OH NO! OH DEAR GOD NO!!!” Perfect immediately goes after Flair so Ric goes to the top. There’s the slam off the top and the Hennig Neck Snap as Heenan is having a heart attack. We hear about the loser leaves the WWF match tomorrow on Raw between the two of them, which is a very rare match for some reason.

Skinner is #11 and he does nothing before Perfect shoves Flair out to a HUGE pop. Lawler (looking very different here for some reason that I can’t place) pounds away on Hennig as we’re back down to six people in there. That’s usually the right amount so thankfully they’ve gotten through the first third without things getting too hectic. Koko B. Ware and those big green pants of his are #12. Heenan: “Koko B. Ware could go to Wrestlemania to face Bret Hart. Gorilla: “What’s wrong with that?” Heenan: “IT SHOULD BE RIC FLAIR!!!”

Perfect dropkicks Skinner out and not a lot is going on again. Here’s Samu at #13, giving us a group of Backlund, DiBiase, Tenryu, Virgil, Perfect, DiBiase, Lawler and Ware. Lawler and Perfect keep going at it in a feud that could have been AMAZING in Memphis. Berzerker is #14 as we need to get rid of some people in there. Lawler misses a charging punch on Perfect and there he goes. With Perfect distracted, DiBiase and Ware team up (you’ll NEVER hear that again) to kick him out with an assist from Lawler. Virgil was thrown out during that melee, getting us down to just six again.

The Undertaker is #15 to a BIG pop. Gorilla calls him the odds on favorite. I’m not sure I’d go that far but whatever. Berzerker goes to the floor and beats up Backlund (not eliminated) with a chair. Taker puts Samu out and no sells a lot of Tenryu’s stuff before dumping him as well. We’ve got Backlund (mostly dead on the floor), Taker, Berzerker, DiBiase and Ware in at the moment. Terry Taylor (he still had a job at this point?) is in at #16 and he’s gone in less than thirty seconds thanks to DiBiase, as is Ware.

There’s a chokeslam to DiBiase and Taker dumps him, leaving Berzerker against Taker. In one of the biggest “oh great it’s this guy” moments ever, Giant Gonzales debuts as Taker dumps Berzerker. Gonzales, a legit 7’7 tall, stares down at Taker as Damien Demento (don’t ask) is #17. Gonzales chops Taker out for an illegal elimination. In case you’re not familiar, Gonzales is a monster who makes Great Khali look like Lou Thesz. Speaking of Khali, he was literally the same character as Gonzales in a repeat of the same exact story the Undertaker was involved in in 1992. In short, both of them sucked and were really tall.

Gonzales destroys Taker for a bit as Demento still won’t get in. IRS is #18 as the Giant is still beating up Taker. It’s IRS, Backlund and Demento at the moment with Taker out cold in the corner. Tatanka is #19 as Paul Bearer uses the Urn to revive Taker. This of course is all the fans focus on, making the match in the ring look even less interesting than it already is, which is saying a lot when you think about it. Lots of choking ensues until Jerry Sags is #20.

There is NOTHING going on here and I don’t think Typhoon at #21 is going to help things at all. Fatu is #22 and my goodness I have never heard more silence for an entrance. NOTHING is going on here and Earthquake is #23. He immediately goes after….Typhoon, his partner. They have a fat man brawl for a bit until Quake dumps him out. Carlos Colon, aged 44 and called a youngster by Monsoon is #24.

Colon dumps Demento as the eliminations are keeping the crowd on life support. Quake can’t put Backlund out as Tito Santana is #25. Fatu misses a charge at Backlund and eliminates himself. We’ve got Quake, Backlund, Santana, IRS, Tatanka, Colon and Sags in there at the moment. Rick Martel is #26 who is STILL feuding with Santana. Why did they never have a big match to blow off that feud? It went on for like four years or so.

Earthquake dumps IRS and now we get to the first interesting part of the match in WAY too long: Backlund is sent to the apron and the crowd collectively gasps until he gets back in. Gorilla actually swears at how big the reaction is. Yokozuna is #27 and it’s time to clear some space. Yoko and Tatanka chop it out and there goes the guy with red hair (figure out which is which).

Colon is out and it’s time for the fat man showdown with Quake vs. Yoko. They collide a few times and no one moves so Quake pounds him into the corner. Owen Hart is #28. Quake splashes Yoko in the corner but the second attempt misses. Yoko suplexes Quake out and that more or less seals the winner. Repo Man is #29 and is immediately dropped by Yoko. Everybody gangs up on Yoko and it doesn’t work at all.

Randy Savage is #30, giving us a final group of Savage, Yokozuna, Repo Man, Owen, Martel, Santana, Sags and Backlund. They’re not even trying to hide the winner at this point. Yoko dumps Tito as Owen dropkicks Sags out. Owen skins the cat to save himself before being dumped by Yoko and possibly injuring his knee. Repo is out and we’re down to four. Backlund actually picks up Martel to sit him on top and punches him out. The place is WAY into Backlund here, so he goes after Yoko. A pair of dropkick put Yoko against the ropes but Backlund charges into the elimination, drawing a standing ovation.

So it’s Savage vs. Yoko and the beating of the small man begins. Yoko flattens him over and over again until Savage fires off a bunch of kicks out of the corner. The fans are trying to get behind Savage and there’s a top rope ax handle. One to the back gets Yoko down to one knee. Uh…why would you want to knock a guy this big DOWN in a battle royal?

Either way he superkicks Savage to knock him down again and there’s the belly to belly. The legdrop crushes Savage but the Banzai Drop misses. In one of the STUPIDEST endings ever to the Rumble, Savage hits the elbow and COVERS, getting launched over the top rope on the kickout to send Yoko to Las Vegas for the title shot.

Rating: D. This was one of the worst Rumbles of all time. The main problem here is the period after Taker, the only guy you could actually see eliminating Yoko, was eliminated. From then until the time Backlund got close to the longevity record (which he got), there’s NOTHING. It’s a bunch of lame midcarders standing around lifting each others’ legs in the air. Why would I want to see that at all? Anyway, nothing to see here and a BAD Rumble.

Overall Rating: D+. There’s a reason no one cares at all about 1993 WWF: it’s really not very good. The title matches here aren’t bad but other than that, this show is pretty freaking terrible. The Rumble sucks the life out of the show, as the highlights are a two minute segment between Flair and Perfect and the Backlund part at the end. When the whole match is 65 minutes long, that doesn’t hold up. Weak show here.

Ratings Comparison

Steiner Brothers vs. Beverly Brothers

Original: C-
Redo: D+

Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty

Original: C
Redo: C+

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Big Boss Man

Original: D+
Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Razor Ramon

Original: B
Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D+
Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D
Redo: D+

Not much change here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 15, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett, Randy Savage

We’re back after a week off and the big story is Brutus Beefcake returning to the ring after nearly three years away due to a horrible injury. That seems like it should be setting up something for Wrestlemania, though I’m almost worried about what else we might be seeing on here. Let’s get to it.

Here are the most recent show’s results if you need a recap.

Brutus Beefcake is ready to get back in the ring against Ted DiBiase.

Ted DiBiase is ready to crush Brutus Beefcake’s face again, though Jimmy Hart thinks that’s a bit too far. Jimmy showing humanity still feels wrong.

Opening sequence.

Commentary welcomes us to the show, with Randy Savage saying God and Hulk Hogan are a great tag team and they have Brutus Beefcake’s back. That might be a bit much.

Steiner Brothers vs. Bobby Who/Glen Ruth

Thankfully Vince mostly ignores Bartlett’s Who’s On First jokes but can’t ignore Savage’s issues, as he can barely be heard. Scott suplexes Ruth down in a hurry to a big reaction, allowing the tag off to Rick to drive him into the corner. There’s an overhead belly to belly to Who as Savage is demanding a producer get out here and fix his microphone. Scott loads Who up in a powerbomb with Rick coming off the top with an elbow for a huge crash. Bartlett: “Does that hurt?” Rick grabs the chinlock as Bartlett talks about having a bad Valentine’s Day. Scott plants Who with a tiger bomb and the Steiner Bulldog finishes at 3:33.

Rating: C. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I could watch the Steiners throw goons around for hours on end. That’s what we got here, and it was slightly more entertaining because of the Savage audio issues. Sometimes you need an entertaining squash and the Steiners suplexing people out of their shoes is always worth a look.

It’s time for the Wrestlemania Report, with Gene Okerlund being very excited about the show being in Las Vegas. We even have some matches, with Bret Hart defending the WWF Title against Yokozuna, Crush vs. Doink the Clown and Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez. Doink and Giant Gonzalez are the second and third matches announced for Wrestlemania. I think you can see why the show was in trouble.

Yokozuna vs. Ross Greenberg

Savage is still losing it over the microphone and sounds like he is calling in to the show. Yokozuna stands by for about a minute to start and then runs Greenberg over like he isn’t even there. Greenberg gets crushed again and there’s the running splash in the corner. The Banzai Drop finishes for Yokozuna at 2:01 in true squash fashion.

Post match Savage steals Bartlett’s microphone, which makes me think we’re in the middle of a bad bit.

We get a Special Report, brought to you by the WWF Poster Magazine (oh the memories). This week it’s a clip from Superstars, with Jim Duggan getting beaten up by Yokozuna but actually managing to with a running shoulder. That’s a cool moment, and Yokozuna’s selling as he tries to keep his balance is great, as he really was a lot more awesome than he was given credit for. Then Yokozuna mauled Duggan and left the American flag laying as Duggan did a stretcher job.

Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji are happy with what happened to Duggan.

Giant Gonzalez wanted in tonight’s battle royal but everyone else said they were out if he was in. We see a clip from Superstars with Gonzalez beating up three jobbers, including Louis Spicolli, at once.

Battle Royal

Bob Backlund, Koko B. Ware, Typhoon, Kamala, Tito Santana, Razor Ramon, Shawn Michaels, Owen Hart, Kim Chee, Berzerker, Kamala, Skinner, Damien Demento, Iron Mike Sharpe, Terry Taylor, Tatanka

This aired on the Invasion of the Bodyslammers VHS tape (with some different commentary) so I’ve seen this about thirty times but have only heard it once for a weird situation. Everyone slides in from the floor to start for a bit of a change and it’s Kamala chasing Kim Cheer early on. Backlund tosses Sharpe and Michaels gets rid of Ware to clear the ring out a bit. Skinner is caught in between the top and middle ropes but gets loose, only to be clotheslined out by Typhoon.

Santana sends Ramon into the turnbuckle over and over, possibly as repayment for coming up with the Ramon name (true story). Demento is tossed and Berzerker does the same thing to Owen. Berzerker is out as well, followed by Kim Chee and Typhoon getting rid of Kamala. That is not acceptable to Kamala, who goes after Kim Chee and tosses him out, meaning the chase is on through the crowd. We take a break and come back with Tatanka, Taylor, Typhoon, Michaels, Backlund, Ramon and Santana but we pause to look at Kamala chasing Kim Chee through the balcony.

We come back to the arena with Taylor and Backlund gone and Michaels tossing out Typhoon. Shawn and Razor team up against Santana and Tatanka, which could be a heck of a tag match if they had the chance. Razor knocks Santana down and Tatanka hammers away on Shawn in the corner. Santana comes back with the flying forearm and Shawn dropkicks Tatanka as the pairs switch off.

The good guys get together to send Shawn into the buckles over and over before tossing him out to get us down to three. Santana and Tatanka go after Razor…and here is Giant Gonzalez to throw both of them out. Gonzalez leaves and the bell rings at 16:10 because Ramon was smart enough to roll outside, meaning he’s the only one left to win.

Rating: C-. This was kind of a lame battle royal but it was definitely a clever ending. It’s also the kind of thing that Ramon would brag about so everything fits well here. Kamala chasing Kamala around was hilarious and I got into the final four part, so this was about as much fun as you could have in such a random battle royal.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Ted DiBiase

Jimmy Hart is here with DiBiase and doesn’t seem happy with the match taking place. Beefcake struts away from a lockup to start and frustration sets in early. It works so well that Beefcake does it again, this time before sidestepping DiBiase into the corner. They finally go with a regular lockup as Hart isn’t thrilled with how things have gone so far. Beefcake slugs away and DiBiase is knocked outside in a hurry.

Back in and Beefcake works on a headlock before punching DiBiase outside again. Back in again and DiBiase tries to send him face first into the buckle but Beefcake counters that into a headlock in a hurry. Cue IRS with the briefcase, though Hart doesn’t seem to want him around. The headlock is broken up so IRS hits Beefcake in the back with the briefcase for the DQ at 4:27.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what to say on this one as it was a bunch of punching and headlocking before the storyline ending. Beefcake was in good shape, but how can you tell how well he is doing when most of his old offense was hitting someone in the face? This is going to be a bigger deal soon, but for now it’s just a short match built around about two moves.

Post match IRS loads up the briefcase but Hart won’t let him hit Beefcake in the face. IRS finally shoves Hart down and blasts Beefcake in the face with the case. Thrashing and gyrating on the mat ensue so DiBiase tries to do it again but Hart covers Beefcake up. Money Inc. leaves and Beefcake is taken out on a stretcher while holding his face.

That was so brutal so we’ll look at it in slow motion! And then in real time!

Back from a break and apparently Beefcake is on his feet. Vince is so upset that he thinks HULK HOGAN could be here next week.

Overall Rating: C-. The throwing stuff at the wall approach continues as there is only so much that can be done at this point. We are about a month and a half away from Wrestlemania and you can pretty easily guess the other big match on the card. Maybe the rest of the TV will be better, but Raw is so new at this point, how can you really tell? Not a horrible show this week, but the Beefcake deal was the only part that felt important.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 11, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, Manhattan, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett, Randy Savage

Since the random months deal isn’t working whatsoever, let’s just go with doing them straight through. I have twenty months left in the first four years so we might as well start off with the first year. It’s a shorter month because the show started in the second week. Oh and it’s also the show’s debut so let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney is on the streets of Manhattan and welcomes us to the first ever show but has to stop one Bobby Heenan from going inside. He has been replaced by Rob Bartlett and since Mooney is security, Heenan stops to bicker.

Opening sequence.

Commentary welcomes us to the show and Bartlett is already getting annoying.

Yokozuna vs. Koko B. Ware

So here’s your first trivia of the night as we have the first ever match in the history of the show. Bartlett: “This guy has his own no fly zone!” Savage: “He doesn’t even have a zipper.” We also get some Japanese/fat jokes from Bartlett until Ware is shoved across the ring. It works a second time but Koko is back up with a dropkick. A big charge misses though and Ware is sent HARD into the top rope. The big legdrop sets up the corner splash and the Banzai Drop finishes Ware in a hurry.

Rating: D+. Total squash and a good example of the Yokozuna who was that scary of a monster. He looked great and could still move around out there, with the running splash coming off as athletic. This is the Yokozuna who could be the top heel for a long time, and it’s easy to see why he was pushed so hard.

Bobby Heenan talks about Narcissus, who has Mr. Perfect scared. Yes, Narcissus is beyond perfect and comparing the two of them is like comparing ice cream to horse manure. Narcissus will be unveiled at the Royal Rumble and Perfect will think he is from another world.

Steiner Brothers vs. Executioners

Scott isn’t playing around and tilt-a-whirl slams #1 as Doink the Clown is playing around a bit in the audience. Rick comes in and whips #2 into the ropes so hard that #2 falls down. #2 is driven ribs first upside down into the corner and it’s a double noggin knocker from Scott on the floor. Back in and the referee has to get out of the way of a Scott belly to belly and there’s the tiger driver to make it worse. The Steiner Bulldog ends the masked goons.

Rating: C-. I could watch the Steiners beat up goofs forever and this was a good example of how effective it can be. Those suplexes and the bulldog had the Executioners flying all over the place and it was absolutely glorious. They were brand new at this point and even 1993 WWF couldn’t screw them up.

Bobby Heenan, this time in drag, still can’t get into the building. He thought he was getting into the building normally, so he just had that in his bag?

Here is Razor Ramon for a chat with Vince McMahon. He is happy to have a WWF Title shot at the Royal Rumble because it has his name written all over it. Vince says it took Bret eight and a half years to get his title shot but now Razor is happy with getting his shot after eight and a half months. That’s not good enough for Vince, who wants to know why Razor jumped Owen Hart over the weekend. Razor says it was fun and there is nothing Bret can do about it. You know what else Bret can’t do anything about? Razor winning the WWF Title. Good interview here, as Razor was still in serious mode.

There will be a Headlock On Hunger show later this month, with Randy Savage not exactly knowing what is on the card (“Shawn Michaels vs. Bob Backlund for another title. The Intercontinental Title!”).

Tatanka wants us to put a headlock on hunger.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Max Moon

Shawn is defending. Moon flips around a bit as Bartlett does a bit about the WWF version of the Amy Fisher story and Savage….thinks Heenan looked good in drag? Shawn gets thrown into the corner and can’t figure out what to do here, so Moon armdrags him down. We take a break and come back with Shawn dropping him throat first across the middle rope as commentary gets in “uncooked, uncut and uncensored” as many times as they can.

Shawn hits…something as Doink comes out to watch again and Bartlett “calls in” with a bad Mike Tyson impression. This gag keeps going as Shawn sends him face first into the buckle as Bartlett (still as Tyson) makes up matches for the Royal Rumble. Moon grabs a small package for a quick two and gets punched in the face some more. The chinlock goes on and Tyson wants to know what it’s called.

Back up and Moon catapults Shawn over the top and out to the floor (Bartlett: “He disappeared!”) for the crash. Moon scores with a spinwheel kick in the corner and a cradle gets two. Shawn is back up with the superkick, which isn’t his finisher yet so here it’s just a thing. Instead it’s the tear drop suplex (kind of a cross between a belly to back suplex/Angle Slam) to retain Shawn’s title.

Rating: C. The wrestling was fine but the commentary was one of the dumbest, most annoying things I can imagine. The bit itself, a confused Mike Tyson calling in, is fine enough but it JUST KEPT GOING and wasn’t all that funny in the first place. It’s not the kind of comedy that fits in on a wrestling show and that’s why Bartlett never fit. He was funny in a different format, but here it feels so forced and it never worked.

WATCH WWF MANIA! I liked that show.

It’s time for the Royal Rumble Control Center. This week we’re talking about the Intercontinental Title match between Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty. The question is whose corner Sensational Sherri will be in, with both guys saying she’s going with them. Marty and Sherri were never a thing so this always felt a bit weird.

Moving on, Gene Okerlund runs down the Royal Rumble lineup, with Mr. Perfect saying he isn’t worried because no one else in the match is perfect. On the other hand, Mr. Fuji says no one can get Yokozuna over the top so he’ll win. Oh and Jim Duggan thinks he’ll….fight. He might not win, but he’ll fight. Of note: this segment went on so long that Tito Santana beat the Brooklyn Brawler in a dark match as it aired.

Bobby Heenan, now as Rob Bartlett’s uncle Morty, still can’t get in. The stereotypes here are rather strong.

We look at Kamala’s face turn, as he leaves Kim Chee and Harvey Wippleman and joins up with Reverend Slick. That pairing could bowl some people over.

Undertaker vs. Damien Demento

Demento is a weird guy and billed “from the Outer Reaches Of Your Mind”. Vince and Bartlett go into a bit about Paul Bearer being from a famous family and needing an iron supplement. Demento’s right hands have no effect and the very Young School connects, with Vince ignoring it to talk about the Royal Rumble. Demento gets in a few shots out of the corner but Undertaker sits up and hits the jumping clothesline. The Tombstone finishes without much trouble.

Doink talks about enjoying making kids cry but Crush comes out and threatens him with that Hawaiian accent. If Doink keeps it up, his bad arm will have another arm and both legs for company in that cast. Doink squirts him with water and the chase is on.

Bobby Heenan is allowed in now that the show is over.

Overall Rating: C-. I don’t think I’m breaking any new ground by saying that this first show is not very good. The wrestling was more miss than hit and Bartlett was a nightmare, but what mattered here was that they had to start somewhere. It’s the first episode of the most famous wrestling series ever and it took place live from New York City. The content isn’t important here, but rather the fact that the show happened. Not a terrible show, but it’s all about the history instead of the content.

 

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Summerslam 1993
Date: August 30, 1993
Location: Palace of Auburn Hills, Auburn Hills, Michigan
Attendance: 23,954
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Vince McMahon

Well, it’s a different time for the WWF now, as there’s no Warrior, no Hogan and Savage is commentating. This presents a big problem: there’s no one to lead the company as the top face. After Hogan bailed and never put Bret over which is something that I know isn’t for sure as to whom to blame, but something still isn’t sitting right with me about it, Bret was the top face by default. However, the top heel was Yokozuna, who beat Bret already.

Due to his size and allegedly (nonsense) the fact that Bret couldn’t have a good match with him, Lex freaking Luger of all people is turned face to try to slay the giant. This all happens on the Fourth of July weekend on the USS Intrepid where there was a body slam contest. No one can manage to slam Zuna, and the contest allegedly ends.

OR DOES IT?

A helicopter lands on the boat and the fans chant for Hogan. Nope, not him. Macho Man? Already made an attempt. Ultimate Warrior? One last guess. …Andre the Giant? He’s already dead, so no one knows. It’s….Lex Luger? Yes, it’s Flexy Lexy, the guy that had been a pompous jerk of a heel since the day he got there. Apparently he’s now very proud to be an American and he wants to stand up for America and slam the AMERICAN Samoan.

Of course he does it to a huge pop and an instant mega face push. However, Yoko doesn’t want to give him a title match. So what’s a newly top face to do? Rent a bus and drive around the country of course! Yes, Luger comes up with the Lex Express and drives around the country meeting fans like he’s trying to win the 1872 Presidential election. It’s somehow dumber than it sounds as Luger even has a theme song called I’ll Be Your Hero.

This may in fact be the most obnoxious thing that has even been attempted by Vince McMahon. There’s pushing someone down our throats, and then there’s this. The one problem: Luger never won the belt. He never even pinned Yoko that I recall. He was supposed to get the epic win at Mania 10, but he got drunk at a bar the night before and blabbed the plans to everyone, so there was a last second change and Bret got the title to close Mania 10, leading to his real reign with the belt.

Luger was gone in about a year, running back to WCW where people got closer to caring about him. This is the first encounter with him and Yoko. Other than that, there’s really nothing going on at all. Bret and Lawler are finally starting their two year feud so that’s kind of the second big match on the card I guess. Let’s get to this.

Our opening is…a music video of Lex Luger and his trip around America. He wears stars and stripes shirts and sleeps with a folded up American flag in his arms. This actually could have been an epic victory for him, had he you know, WON THE FREAKING BELT! That’s what makes this look so bad in hindsight: he never won the title. Had he done that, it’s the payoff for all the over the top nature of this angle.

Ted DiBiase vs. Razor Ramon

The Million Dollar Man was done on PPV after this, injuring his neck early in 1994 and being forced to immediately retire. Razor here is mad over as he’s getting that big push that he’s most known for. Coming soon: the IC Title feud with Shawn that got Shawn his jump up the ladder and yes that was intentional. This is over DiBiase offering Razor a job as a servant and Razor having that pesky pride of his.

It’s cool because I reviewed the go home show of Raw a few weeks ago so I actually know some of the buildup for these matches, or at least what there is of it. Anyway, this is probably Razor’s biggest match to date. DiBiase is looking a bit chubby here. This match is really just kind of boring. DiBiase dominates for the majority of the match, which isn’t saying much as it runs about seven and a half minutes total.

It’s mainly just slow paced and standard DiBiase stuff which is fine as he’s always very solid, but the fans are just dead for this. Now near the end of the match, Ted takes the cover off of the buckle and gets slammed into it, leading to the Razor’s Edge. The crowd is losing it for this as I hardly ever remember seeing a crowd go from dead to insane that fast. Naturally this is the end of the match, and the end of DiBiase’s time in the ring.

While he was certainly far from his prime, he was hardly falling apart out there. His stuff was solid, but it might be good that he got out when he did, given the new direction the company was going in. I’m not saying he wouldn’t have had a place, but his style is slower and more thought out than what was wanted in the new era. It’s sad to see one of the greats have to go, especially when two days ago he was with his time as GM of Raw.

Rating: C-. It was a bit boring and that hurts it a lot. DiBiase was there to put Razor over and that’s exactly what he did, so points for that. Razor was on the rise and this was another match that put him over even more.

Todd Pettingill (the man that replaced Sean Mooney) is with the family of the Steiners, which is cool I think. He’s interrupted by Jim Cornette in the ring.

Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Heavenly Bodies

Steiners are the home town boys so their pop is of course epic. Now the Heavenly Bodies are an interesting subject. They were the Dudleys of Cornette’s Smokey Mountain Wrestling, meaning that they were the undisputed biggest thing there, but unlike the Dudleys, that didn’t translate in the big companies. As for SMW, that place rocked. All kinds of guys were there and a lot of them got over because of their work there.

Guys like Lance Storm, Kane, Jericho and Foley mixed with some veterans, some local guys and Cornette calling the shots, and how can you go wrong? The problem was the business as a whole was in deep trouble at that point and Cornette, while being successful to an extent, only lasted about four years. However, in those four years he co-promoted with Vince, which was a pretty big deal at the time. SMW could have worked very well, if the timing and business as a whole had been better.

Even still, it did quite well all things considered. Big brawl starts as the heels take over early but the Steiners start taking over as Scott takes over and dominates which is always fun to watch. He was the prototype for what the modern day athlete was supposed to be but due to what has to be steroid abuse, he’s now a shell of his former self. Cornette has a neck brace on for no reason at all.

Eventually the heels take over on Scott and you can put the rest together from there. We go to the melee with Rick taking over to fight off the forces of evil as the fans are freaking out for the hometown boys. After Rick gets his with the tennis racket and Scott saves him the Frankensteiner ends it.

Rating: B-. This was fine. It’s nothing special and was just a token defense but is that really a bad thing for the hometown boys? I certainly don’t think so. It’s about 10 minutes and the faces were in a bit of trouble, so what more can you ask for out of this? Solid little match that did its job well.

We go to some guy named Joe Fowler who is a new interviewer that I don’t ever remember again. He’s with Shawn and Diesel and asks about how Shawn can’t hold onto the belt and that Diesel got it back for him from Perfect. Fowler actually wasn’t that bad at this and while he was a bit too perky, he wasn’t awful.

IC Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Shawn Michaels

This is the blowoff of the feud that had been built up……….4 months ago. The buildup for this match was nothing short of a masterpiece but by the time they got to the match the interest was pretty much long gone. I’ve never figured out why they waited but I’d assume an injury or something like that. Either way it was a bad idea for waiting so long as it could have been the hottest feud in the business at the time.

Anyway, this is your main midcard match of the show. Perfect, even probably past his prime, still just rocks on all levels. We get a plug for Radio WWF out of nowhere which was one of the oddest ideas I’ve ever heard of. Ross and Monsoon would call the show on the radio. Heenan apparently gets hit in the eye by something and isn’t happy about it. Very fast sequence to start and it of course ends in a botch as I have no idea who did what or what they were going for but it looked absolutely horrid.

Anyway, they go into a standard sequence as they jockey for position and Heenan talks about how Diesel will be the big factor here. This referee counts WAY too fast. If he had worked for WCW they would have won the wars. After they go to the floor, Shawn lands a stiff thrust kick to Perfect’s chin. That kick was so sweet that it was almost like music. Shawn continues his perfect streak of being too loud about calling spots which gets annoying after awhile but is part of the business.

I’m kind of skipping over a lot but a good match makes me do that. There’s little to complain about here which makes it hard to come up with jokes. Perfect hits a move that I always thought would be insanely hard to pull off: a running dropkick. That just looks hard to do and makes Perfect look even better. The ending to this is just flat out bad. Perfect gets the Perfectplex but Diesel pulls him outside and they start fighting in what could have been a very interesting feud.

Anyway, Shawn jumps at Perfect but he gets punched for his efforts. Shawn rolls in and lands on the referee, breaking up the count, but after Diesel rams Perfect’s shoulder/head area into the post, the referee continues his count and we get a count out. That was either a botch or running out of time, either way it didn’t work.

If you want to do the screwjob finish then let Diesel interfere and let Shawn get the pin but don’t just go with the count out. Post match Perfect gets the double beatdown and Shawn says he’s the greatest IC Champion.

Rating: B-. This was a very fun albeit short match. This really could have been something good with more time and a finish. That being said it was far from bad with one pretty bad botch that was at least in the beginning of the match. It just was too short and I hated the ending though.

Fowler is with the 1-2-3 Kid who says he’s nervous but ready. Again, Fowler is too perky but he seems solid enough.

IRS vs. 1-2-3 Kid

This is the other feud that comes from DiBiase vs. Razor. Kid was the indy darling at the time and when he got signed what would become the IWC exploded in excitement. What the heck happened to this guy? He became so completely worthless later in his career. Kid was Colin Delaney of his day, but unlike Colin, Kid actually had some skill and would win some matches. He was also far less annoying.

This is really short and not that interesting as even the commentators don’t want to talk about it as you can hear. The big deal about it is that the fans make fun of IRS’ name. Eventually he hits a clothesline of all things to get the pin. That’s really the best they can come up with? Heenan makes some dumb jokes to end this.

Rating: F. No one cared, it wasn’t interesting, and it sucked. What kind of grade did you expect here?

Todd is with Bret’s family, namely Owen, who is rocking one of the worst mullets ever, and Bruce. Stu had knee surgery and can’t be there tonight. They talk about the Hart/Lawler feud, which leads us to this.

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

This is for the title (more like name) of undisputed king of the ring. There’s no real title or anything which is good. Bret is one of 12. DAng Stu was tearing it up yo. Lawler is on crutches as he comes out. Todd asks him what’s going on. Apparently he’s injured. Gee you think? Never would have been able to figure that out without the crutches, the ice pack on the knee or the limp. The heel heat that he gets is so basic and so good that it’s uncanny.

Lawler blames his injury on his car as he talks forever. Apparently he’s not allowed to wrestle here tonight. Vince is ticked off over this. Imagine, a guy changing the match at the last second, especially one over a knee injury in a Bret Hart match. Yep, Vince has every right to be upset. Instead, he’s going to let his court jester fight Bret instead. This leads to…

Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown

This was random as all goodness. Doink had been just beating up jobbers and all of a sudden he’s fighting a former world champion at Summerslam? This made no sense and I’m still not sure why they picked him. He does his confetti/water trick, which leads to one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen at a wrestling show. He throws water on Bruce Hart, so Owen easily opens the railing up and walks through to ringside.

That’s a GREAT lesson to teach people: how to get past the guardrail. Anyway of course Bret is ticked off and beating on Doink early. The clown was such a great gimmick that it’s unreal. Think of the Joker from Batman and make him a wrestler. There’s Doink. This incarnation of him was someone that was a great wrestler that hid behind clown makeup because he was so mentally disturbed. How great of an idea is that?

He dominates most of the match which is Bret at his best: getting beaten up. Doink even puts an STFU on Bret as the young John Cena eats a sausage. He puts the Stump Puller on Bret and grabs the top rope for “additional leverage”. I get home sometimes that would help, but how in this case would that help?

Maybe I’m just missing something but I don’t see it at all. Here’s Bret’s comeback and you can connect the dots yourself here. Sharpshooter goes on, but GASP, Lawler comes in and hits Bret with the crutch! WHO THOUGHT THAT WOULD HAPPEN? Vince’s commentary here is hilarious as he’s panicking over this, thinking that such a thing could never happen.

Rating: B. This was actually pretty good. The in ring work with both guys was solid as Doink really was good in the ring, or at least until he turned face just after this match. Bret of course was great and Lawler made himself look evil here, continuing the feud that wouldn’t end until Summerslam 1995.

The heels head to the back but WAIT! JACK MOTHER TUNNEY is here to stop them! That leads us to this.

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

This is going to be quick. What are you expecting here? It’s maybe 5 minutes long and it’s Bret beating the tar out of him, a short heel dominance and a Sharpshooter for the tap out. The main thing here though is that Bret leaves the hold on for OVER THREE MINUTES as apparently he wants Lawler’s grandkids to have knee problems. A small army of suits and referees get rid of him but naturally the decision is reversed to give it to Lawler. Owen’s cowboy boots are making me crack up with laughter.

Rating: B+. It was Bret beating up his enemy which is always fun to see. That’s just not something you can’t beat as Lawler is such a great cowardly heel that working with Bret was perfect. The post match thing made you believe Lawler’s career was over, but this feud would go on for two years, on and off.

We see a promo from Borga, talking about how Luger is stupid for wanting to save America when it has slums like the one he’s in. This was I guess on location in inner Detroit.

Bret and co. says it’s not over with Lawler.

Ludvig Borga vs. Marty Jannetty

Oh dear this is going to be bad isn’t it? Borga is just a beast that was only there about 8 months before being let go for no apparent reason. It was rumored that he would take the title from Taker (not sure where he would have gotten it, maybe at the Rumble?) and then lose it to Luger at Mania 10. I’ve never heard any concrete plans on that but I’ve heard rumors similar to that too many times to not think there’s at least some credibility to them.

Marty of course has his head handed to him here as the Finn is a boxer and just punches Marty’s ribs into oblivion. This is a pure squash here and Marty lands a couple of super kicks that meant nothing at all. Borga’s finisher was the torture rack, which I would have nearly died of laughter from if he’d beaten Luger with.

Rating: D+. It’s a squash and a long, drawn out one. Marty was ok in the ring I guess, but this was better suited for a Raw or something I think. Ludvig would dominate jobbers for a few months before being placed in a real feud, but the ankle injury was too much for him and for some reason he got let go. It was one injury. I’ve never gotten why he never came back.

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

This is a Rest In Peace match which means street fight. This is the blow off match that no one really wanted to see. The Giant had run in at the Rumble to beat up Taker on behalf of Harvey Whipleman, who I still need clarification on whether or not he’s a human being. They had the worst Taker Mania match ever (not Taker’s fault) and they waited 4 months to have the rematch….for no apparent reason.

No transition at all as Borga’s music is still playing as Fink is announcing. Was there really a point to the caveman look? I never got that. Oh, for the 100th time someone has stolen the urn. The pop for Taker is epic of course. I’m starting to get the reason why Taker got so big so fast, among the obvious reasons: Bobby Heenan. The things Heenan would say about Taker made him just awesome sounding.

As soon as the gong strikes, Bobby says: “See ya!” That’s such a tiny thing but it works so well. He’d always do that and it would always work. No Paul Bearer for no apparent reason. We’ve clearly seen that Gonzalez is taller and that Taker is walking normally, yet Vince says Taker is towering above all and gliding to the ring. Vince, pay attention please. Heenan: I bet Johnny Cash has a picture of him in his pocket. Norcal will love that line.

Apparently Bearer being gone has been the case for awhile now. This is a lot better than at Mania, mainly because Gonzalez has figured out a bit more of his own style and isn’t as horrible as he was before. Also the lack of rules suit them both better in a match like this. Taker looks tiny which is saying a lot. It’s mainly back and forth with Taker continuously reaching for the urn “like it’s a tag partner.” Eventually Bearer returns with a black wreath.

Whippleman and Bearer “fight”, resulting in Bearer getting the urn back. Heenan says NO NO NO, Bearer says OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS! Taker sits up of course and it’s on. Taker hits about 5 clotheslines before hitting one from the top to get the pin. Gonzalez I guess turns face after the match by beating up Harvey. That went nowhere.

Rating: C+. This was FAR better than what they did back in April. The rule changes saved this along with the shorter match. It just flowed much better and looked more like something these two would do, as it was a brawl and not a match. Not great, but compared to what they had done before, this was Savage vs. Steamboat.

Fowler is with Yoko, Fuji and Cornette. Cornette says his typical great heel stuff here and puts over Yoko.

Smoking Guns/Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Headshrinkers

Yeah to put it mildly this is filler. The Guns were pretty new at this point. It’s great to see the cowboys and Indian getting along so well here. Ross and Monsoon are on radio here. Ah it’s for the Armed Forces Network. I can live with that. SHAWN MICHAELS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING! Samu and Tatanka start us off. Heenan makes fun of the Cleveland Indians and Dallas Cowboys, which makes me be irritated.

Both Tatanka and Bigelow go for cross bodies at the same time which is a weird looking visual but it worked rather well.  Billy punches Rikishi and gets kicked in the face as a result. Why couldn’t he have been kicked out of the company instead? Vince insists they are REAL cowboys. Oh dear. Samu kicks him into the corner to get a tag to Bart.

Crowd is DEAD of course. Bigelow hits a dropkick to take him down for two. Not quick Jim Nedihart’s but close enough. This is just boring beyond belief. It’s like a long Superstars match rather than a long TV match which is REALLY bad for 93 standards. Bigelow rams Bart’s head into Fatu’s which is rather funny.

Bart dodges and Bigelow hits the post so that Tatanka can come in and hopefully end this nonsense. Slam to Bigelow which is kind of impressive. Top rope cross body gets two. Tatanka starts up his racial stereotypes and Bigelow just hits him to stop such idiocy. A triple headbutt hits but a triple splash misses so Tatanka can roll up Fatu for the pin.

Rating: F+. That triple splash was cool looking but this was AWFUL. Like I said, total Superstars match here and nothing more. Horribly boring match and no one cared at all.

We interview Luger’s bus driver. Let me repeat that. We interview Luger’s bus driver. He has a monitor and is watching Summerslam from inside the bus. That….might be the funniest thing I’ve seen since Summerslam began. Yeah, it is. He’s driven Lex around the country for 2 months and he can’t get a bleacher seat to the show? He talks about how great Luger is in what might not have been scripted. He’s talking like this is a real thing, so either he’s not scripted or he needs a job in WWF.

Fowler does something that I like here: he says he’s going to ask a stupid question. Can I get a Hallelujah chorus? We have an interviewer that knows he asks stupid questions. WHY DID THIS GUY LEAVE???

Todd interviews some of the fans.

To further shove the red white and blue down our throats, there are American flags sitting on top of the commentators.

In something else that makes me laugh. Fink asks for the fans to please rise. He gets booed. He then asks if the people will show some respect. When did Fink become a heel manager? The Japanese national anthem is sung. We have a master of ceremonies for the main event, and for no reason at all, it’s Randy Savage. He brings out some guy to sing the National Anthem. Savage looks like the Incredible Hulk meets the Uncle Sam poster.

WWF Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna

And here we go. Yoko’s entrance takes FOREVER. Luger of course gets the pop of pops as he enters to Stars and Stripes Forever. This is easily one of Yoko’s best matches ever. Luger wasn’t much, but he could fight big guys with the best of them. His power game worked perfectly against Yoko, and when it’s USA vs. the evil foreigner, it’s hard to mess it up. WWF managed to screw up the ending, but not the match.

I can sum up this whole match with ease: Bobby Heenan praises Lex Luger. Heenan, perhaps the greatest heel manager of all time, is praising a face. Luger kicks out of everything but never quite hulks up. The crowd is red hot the whole match, which runs nearly 18 minutes for easily one of Yoko’s longest. He’s moving really well here as he hadn’t ballooned to his massive girth yet. The idea is that Yoko simply can’t put him away no matter how close he gets but he can’t hit the Drop either.

They beat on each other with Luger making comeback after comeback but never being able to slam Yoko. After Heenan is losing his voice, Luger makes his final comeback and “slams” Yoko. Heenan screams that it was a hip block, which is actually more impressive as you’re slamming someone using one arm instead of two, but who am I to poke at the Brain? Now, we get to the ending, which for the life of me might be the stupidiest thing I’ve ever seen.

Luger hits the steel forearm and knocks Yoko out of the ring and out cold, drawing the count out. Why? What in the world was the point of not giving Luger the belt here? The tag line of the show was “Someone has to stop him” with a picture of Yoko Banzai Dropping the American flag. Dude, this was a layup and they blew it. Seriously, why would you not give Luger the belt in this case?

He was wildly over, he had a whole storyline that lasted all summer, and the buildup was perfect for that Hogan/Andre moment. However, they waited 8 months to give Luger another shot and in between Luger feuded with Yoko and Fuji’s team still. Why not give him the belt here? For the life of me I do not understand this booking.

Luger may not be a great worker but the fans were WAY into him and the storyline would have been perfect. Anyway, of course we have balloons and confetti falling as Luger and Savage celebrate winning nothing to go off the air.

Rating: B-. This is a fine example of a match that needs two ratings, one for the match and one for the ending. The match was actually pretty good but the ending makes no sense at all. I’ve ranted on it already so I’ll spare you another one here. Yoko looked excellent here and far better than usual.

Luger was feeling it out there as this was one of his better matches, despite using his old stuff. In this case it worked and the crowd was hyped. Very good match that if it had a legitimate finish could have saved the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show just sucks. Nothing of note happens, the matches are just head scratchers, and the ending is AWFUL. The show just has nothing huge happening at all as Bret’s matches were a combination of solid but random and short but intense. Taker was a feud that I though ended half a year ago. Shawn’s match was good but forgettable, and I’ve ranted on the main event already. Just a bad show overall which is reflective of the company as a whole at this point. Avoid this.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Summerslam Spectacular 1993
Date: August 22, 1993
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Gorilla Monsoon

This is a special used to hype up Summerslam and since the 1993 edition is the kind of show that needs all the help it can get. The big match here is the Steiner Brothers defending the Tag Team Titles against Money Inc. inside a cage, which has a good bit of potential. Let’s get to it.

Jim Ross welcomes us to the show and runs down the card.

Yokozuna vs. Jim Duggan

Yokozuna’s WWF Title isn’t on the line and Jim Cornette is not in his corner for some reason. Instead it’s just Mr. Fuji, which is quite the downgrade. Duggan is in his weird singlet phase here and it never looks right. We see a quick shot of Duggan holding his newborn daughter as commentary is already talking about Lex Luger. Duggan jumps him from behind to start and hammers away but the referee takes the 2×4 away, allowing Yokozuna to superkick him down.

Yokozuna chokes away and sends Duggan outside, meaning Duggan’s eyes bug out as they had a tendency to do. That doesn’t seem to bother Yokozuna as he knocks Duggan down and drops the huge leg. Duggan gets caught in a bearhug and we take a break. Back with Duggan biting his way out of the bearhug so Yokozuna chokes away in the corner again. Yokozuna misses a charge though and Duggan slugs away before finally dropping the monster with a clothesline. The three point clothesline is loaded up but Fuji grabs the leg, allowing Yokozuna to get in a shot from behind. The Banzai Drop finishes Duggan at 12:01.

Rating: D+. This was mostly a squash until the ending, when it was almost literally a squash. Yokozuna was on an absolutely amazing roll at this point and having him destroy Duggan was a great way to go. Duggan is someone who can be sacrificed for America because it is a story that works so well. This was Duggan’s last match with the company for over ten years, but

Post match Yokozuna is a bit tired so Cornette pops up to yell about how Luger is going to beg Cornette and Fuji to call Yokozuna off at Summerslam. Cornette was bringing the fire as only he can here.

Video on Ted DiBiase trying to humiliate Razor Ramon with money, causing some bad results. DiBiase wanted to beat up 1-2-3 Kid to make things better but got pinned in a major upset.

Razor Ramon vs. Blake Beverly

Blake talks trash and gets a toothpick in the face so Blake slaps him in the face. The threat of a right hand sends Blake outside before coming back in for a headlock. Blake pulls the hair but Ramon pulls his a lot harder to escape. The punches into the discus punch rock Blake but he gets in a shot of his own to put Ramon on the floor.

Blake takes off the turnbuckle pad and whips Ramon hard into the steel as this is WAY more competitive than I would have bet on/it should be. A powerslam gives Blake two and he clotheslines Ramon right back down. Ramon whips him into the exposed buckle though and finishes with the Razor’s Edge at 6:17.

Rating: D+. Am I missing something or was this more about Blake than Ramon? I’m not sure why you would want to push half of a low level TV guy but this was a rather strange time for the company. I don’t know what they were going for here but it really did not do much good for Ramon, who is a bit of a bigger star than Blake Beverly (now Beau would have made sense but not Blake).

We look at Lex Luger getting off of the Lex Express and meeting some fans.

Jerry Lawler is in a pink Cadillac with an Elvis impersonator who insists that he is the real one. He was having dinner with JFK the other day and talking about how bad things were, which Lawler says is the same as people like Bret Hart taking a shortcut. It’s time to go for a drive.

Bret Hart is sick of Lawler talking about his family and he doesn’t even want his parents at Summerslam to see this beating.

Smoking Gunns/Tatanka vs. Reno Riggins/Barry Horowitz/Brooklyn Brawler

Billy knees Riggins down to start and Bart comes in to crank on Brawler’s arm. Tatanka comes in to crank on the arm as well but Billy comes back in to suplex Riggins down for two. Horowitz gets his own turn and snapmares Billy into a knee drop as we actually have a face in peril here. Riggins and Horowitz take turns on Billy in the corner before Brawler rakes the eyes over the top rope. Billy forearms his way to freedom and brings Tatanka back in to clean house. Everything breaks down and a high crossbody finishes Riggins at 5:03.

Rating: C. Another nothing to see match here which has been the case all show long so far. The Gunns and Tatanka are warming up for a six man against Bam Bam Bigelow and the Headshrinkers but I’m not sure how much of a success this really was. It didn’t go as long, but Billy was beaten down for a good chunk of the match and that isn’t the most inspiring match.

More of Luger and the fans.

Undertaker comes out to talk about how Giant Gonzalez’s day of reckoning is at hand. He may have no Paul Bearer or Urn but he has the Creatures Of The Night. As for what a Rest In Peace match is, it involves him pulling out Gonzalez’s organs to take his soul. I’ll let you get your mind around that as Giant Gonzalez and Harvey Wippleman come out, tell Undertaker he’ll lose, and then leave.

Luger, fans, again.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Bob Backlund

Shawn is defending and commentary continues their eternal hype of Michaels vs. Mr. Perfect at Summerslam (that went on FOREVER and there was no way they could have lived up to the hype). Shawn takes him down to start and gets in a slam before chilling on the top rope. Backlund is back up with a rather delayed slam into a backslide for two and Shawn needs a breather on the floor.

We take a break and come back with Shawn hammering away on Backlund for two and grabbing a front facelock. The comeback is on and there’s the big atomic drop but Diesel grabs the referee. Shawn uses the distraction to grab a small package with trunks for the pin at 9:54.

Rating: C-. Backlund was still in his aww shucks period here and Shawn was still on his way to greatness so they weren’t ready for a really good one yet. Also, this was hardly even a competitive match as Shawn dominated for the most part before cheating to win. These two could do something good under better circumstances, but they didn’t have those here.

We get a sitdown interview with Lex Luger, who talks about being an athletic kid growing up but then he started seriously training and learning and here he is today. The lesson is to keep working at things and eventually you can get to your goals. He wants to be an inspiration to everyone so don’t believe you can’t do something. Lex Luger is telling you to believe you can do anything. They really just had him say that.

Ludvig Borga is ready to destroy Marty Jannetty at Summerslam and wants to destroy everyone here.

Marty Jannetty vs. Duane Gill

Jannetty starts fast by cranking on the arm and takes him down into an armbar. A superkick sets up a backdrop and we hit the chinlock. Gill fights up and catches him on the top, only to get caught in a front flip faceplant (reverse Blockbuster). The top rope fist drop finishes Gill at 3:21.

Rating: D+. Now this felt like a bit of a warmup match and that is not something we have seen much of tonight. I’m not sure how much value there is in having Borga beat Jannetty but he is going to need something in there. Jannetty was still warm from winning the Intercontinental Title earlier in the year so Borga gets something out of it, but this wasn’t a great one.

We go to the Summerslam Control Center where Gene Okerlund runs down the card. I miss this kind of thing and it could still work today.

Tag Team Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Money Inc.

The Steiners are defending in a cage with escape only. The Steiners go after DiBiase to start but IRS’s quick escape attempt is broken up without much effort. Money Inc. cuts off the champs as well so DiBiase goes up, only to get pulled down by the tights (I think you know what happens as a result). With the Steiners down, IRS goes up but Scott catches him and goes over the top, only to have DiBiase suplex him back in. Scott gets knocked down again and Rick’s escape attempt is cut off as well. The Steiners are right back with some shots to the face and go up, only to get pulled back in a hurry.

We take a break and come back with Rick suplexing IRS off of the cage and Scott sending DiBiase face first into the cage. DiBiase and Scott fight on the top but they switch places with DiBiase pulling Rick down, turning him upside down in the process for a cool visual. IRS gets whipped hard into the corner but Scott has to pull him down into an electric chair.

Some rams into the cage allow IRS and Scott to climb out at the same time but IRS comes back in to jump Rick. Scott isn’t about to be one upped and comes off the top of the cage with an ax handle to IRS’s head. DiBiase pulls Rick back down by the headgear and we take another back. Back again with Scott on the floor, leaving Rick down 2-1. Scott comes back in for the second time and watches IRS climb out again as Rick catches DiBiase on top again.

DiBiase winds up hanging by his feet from the cage but Rick isn’t smart enough to take the win. Even Gorilla isn’t sure why they would do something so stupid so both Steiners go up at once. That brings IRS back in (this cage isn’t much of a deterrent) for another save but Rick gets up over the top…..and comes back in to help Scott AGAIN. Rick gets out again and IRS tries to escape as well but Rick catches him on his shoulders. DiBiase escapes and hammers away but Scott gets out to retain at 25:00.

Rating: B. There were some weird moments in the thinking there but they didn’t stop with the violence and brawling, which is the idea of a cage match like this. Above all else, this was definitely different and I like that quite a bit. This would be it for Money Inc., making me wonder why this wasn’t on the pay per view instead, because it would have been better than almost anything else on the show.

Men on a Mission and Rapping Randy (Savage) sing some Lex Luger praises to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The main event more than carries this and while the show felt like a glorified Raw (which it pretty much was), it felt like something special. It didn’t exactly make me want to see the pay per view, but it had a great main event and covered every match on the show. That’s a lot better than most commercials and I’ll take that every single time.

 

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WrestleReunion VI
Date: January 28, 2012
Location: The Westin Los Angeles Airport, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Excalibur, Marty DeRosa

I’m not completely sure on the name of this show as I’ve seen it as both WrestleReunion VI and Pro Wrestling Superstars: Los Angeles but I’ll take the one with Roman numerals. As you can probably guess, it’s a big time indy reunion show featuring a bunch of wrestlers from years past, which can make for some interesting matchups but often some lackluster performances. Let’s get to it.

Here are Mick Foley and Mike Tyson to open things up so there is certainly some star power. Foley talks about his history with Tyson and mentions being a guest referee tonight. Now usually he promises to call a match right down the line and tonight he’s refereeing the New Age Outlaws vs. the Steiner Brothers. This time though Foley needs our help “because Rick Steiner has never liked me and Scotty is out of his f****** mind.” I’ve been watching Mick Foley for about thirty years and I don’t think I can remember three times I’ve heard him use an F bomb. I mean he’s right, but it’s rare.

Usually he’s going to get physically involved, but tonight he isn’t crazy enough to do that. This time though, he has Mike Tyson watching his back so he’s safe to head to St. Louis for the Royal Rumble (that gets a heck of a pop). Tyson takes the mic and talks about various wrestlers he likes, including Billy Graham and Sid Vicious. I really can’t make out most of what he’s saying, but that’s Tyson for you.

We get our first commentary and…..well actually Excalibur is quite good at this kind of show so it should be fine.

Arik Royal vs. Adam Page

This is one of the things I love about watching old shows because Page is 21 years old here and absolutely nothing. Excalibur tells DeRosa to calm down a bit and save some energy, which makes me chuckle for reasons of the future. The bigger Royal goes after the arm to start as commentary actually talks about something interesting, with a discussion of the pressure of having to follow Foley and Tyson.

Royal hits a headscissors into an armdrag but misses the backsplash, allowing Page to miss a standing shooting star. We get a standoff for a bit until Royal nails a spinwheel kick. Royal goes up but dives into a dropkick to the floor. Page tries a running shooting star off the apron and hits Royal’s chest with his head for a nearly terrifying landing. Page takes his necklace back and goes inside…..but we’ve got VADER. I think we’ll call this a no contest at about 4:00 as this is going to be a massacre.

Rating: C-. The ratings are going to be a little bit lighter this time around as this is a one off legends show and not about the match quality. I’ve seen Royal before and he did fine in both matches so he seems to have a little something going for him. Then there’s Page, who would go on to become a huge star on national television. That’s one of the things I love about watching a show like this: seeing someone who is nothing here but would go on to bigger things. Not much of a match of course, but VADER, so we’re fine.

Royal jumps Page post match….and then decides to go after Vader. Well maybe that’s why Page became a bigger star. Vader runs him over so Page tries to come in for a German suplex. Excalibur: “ARE YOU ANTONIO INOKI PAGE???” Destruction ensues but Royal gets up to help double team Vader in the corner.

A double suplex isn’t happening though and Vader mauls Royal again. Royal manages to trap Vader’s arms so Page can go up….but then Vader breaks free and hits Royal in the head. Page gets caught on top and it’s there’s a Vader Bomb. Royal gets chokeslammed and Page gets powerbombed as the Vader stuff went on a good bit longer than the match itself.

New Age Outlaws vs. Steiner Brothers

The only meeting ever here, with Mick Foley (“The hardcore legend and friend of Mike Tyson!”) as guest referee. Road Dogg does his usual stuff and hands it off to Billy Gunn to take it home. Gunn: “IF YA SMELL……” Hang on because that’s not right. Gunn knows he screwed up so let’s try it again. Gunn: “AND THAT’S THE BOTTOM….” No again, but he gets it right on the third time. You can tell he’s serious here too because he’s in the Kip James trunks. Then we get very serious because Scott Steiner grabs the mic and drops his first homophobic slur of the night.

We get a few F bombs to the fans and it’s time to go. Actually hang on because Foley realizes that he’s in over his head here and says he’ll be cowering in the corner. Billy and Scott finally get things going with Scott unloading in the corner. Well at least hitting some slow knees to the ribs. Billy fights out of the corner by punching Scott in the face and it’s off to Dogg. Rick comes in with a double clothesline though and we get the old Steiner Brothers pose.

The Outlaws bail to the floor (Wouldn’t you?) until we settle down to Rick biting Dogg’s pants in the corner. That’s enough to send Dogg outside to ring the bell because he isn’t standing for Rick’s tongue going…..uh, somewhere. Dogg: “I’m not saying we can’t have a drink later and talk about it, but in here, I’m not standing for it!” Ring announcer: “Ladies and gentlemen, referee Mick Foley has just informed me that he is authorizing tongue in the a** for this match!”

We settle back to Rick backing Billy into the corner, with Gunn’s trunks coming down a good bit in the process. Gunn gets in a right hand but misses a charge in the corner, allowing Rick to bite him right in the middle of the back of the trunks. That sends Gunn over to grab Dogg around the waist, giving us the expected reaction. It’s off to Dogg, who wants Scott for no logical reason. He has to stay with Rick, who he drives into the Steiner corner so Scott can come in for some shots to the ribs. Well he got what he wanted.

Dogg’s bouncing punches manage to put Scott down for two, with the fans saying YOU STILL GOT IT. I’ll let you figure out which one they’re talking about. Scott is back with a spinning belly to belly suplex and Rick gets in some choking from the apron. Foley: “MIKE TYSON FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHERE ARE YOU???” Scott suplexes Dogg and goes into the pushups, earning a cheer despite not being so nice earlier in the night.

Rick slaps on the crossface of all things as Marty gets his Mike Tyson history wrong (by saying that Mike Tyson called Steve Austin “Cold Stone” on Raw when it was at the Royal Rumble). Dogg fights up and gets the hot tag off to Gunn for some house cleaning. The belly to belly cuts that off and it’s time for Scott to get in Foley’s face. That means Mr. Socko…..who goes flying after a single Scott glare. The distraction lets Gunn hit the Fameasser for a pretty fast three at 11:32.

Rating: C. All things considered, this was not half bad whatsoever. They were actually working a bit and while of course it wasn’t great (they’re old and mainly retired), they did some goofy stuff to bridge the gap. The Foley being scared stuff helped a lot and I liked it well enough. For a one off dream match, I’ve seen far, far worse.

Post match Rick finds Socko and has some Alex flashbacks (look it up).

Colt Cabana vs. Fit Finlay

Under World Of Sport (British) rules and a fan who won an auction gets to handle the introductions. There are three five minute rounds and you can win by pin, submission or knockout. There are no closed fists allowed either, which probably won’t make that much of a difference but it’s certainly a rule. Another fan gets to be Cabana’s corner man but Cabana says we’re about two minutes away. The referee goes over the rules, with Cabana asking if a kick low is legal (Cabana: “WHAT ABOUT A KICK TO THE D***?”).

We get the bell to start the first round, as commentary still hasn’t actually explained the rules here. Finlay grabs Cabana’s leg so Cabana bails into the corner in a hurry as commentary explains the idea of the Troubles in Northern Ireland. A shot to the face rocks Cabana again and the corner man has to check on his face.

That seems to be ok so Finlay takes him down into a toehold. Finlay grabs a nerve hold and ribs at Cabana’s face because he’s kind of an awesome villain. Back up and Finlay starts in on the arm, with commentary almost calling Finlay a grizzled young veteran (like that would ever work for a UK wrestler). Cabana finally comes back with a headlock takeover and one fan calls it boring. Round one ends but Cabana doesn’t want to let go of the headlock that he worked so hard to get in the first place.

After the corner man gives Cabana some water and towels him down, we’re ready to go with round two. Some uppercuts rock Cabana as Excalibur says he suffers from knowitallism. Finlay stomps on the fingers and kicks him in the face before sending Cabana outside for a needed breather. The corner man adds some slaps (despite NOT being in the corner) and we get some Cabana sneering. Finlay heads outside to yell at a fan so Cabana tells the corner man to slap Finlay in the face.

Thankfully that isn’t going to happen so Finlay doesn’t get to do something so horrible that I can’t come up with a good metaphor for the level of violence. Back in and Finlay hits some elbows to send him outside, setting up a whip into the barricade. They get back inside for some arm cranking/stomping into a keylock to keep Cabana down. The round ends with Finlay evening things up by not letting go of the arm either, which does not seem good for Cabana either.

Finlay goes extra evil by jumping Cabana during his meeting with the corner man. The Fujiwara armbar goes on to start the third round but Cabana fights up. That earns him an arm first whip into the corner and it’s back to the armbar with a knee in the shoulder. A Jake Roberts short arm clothesline sets up the running seated senton but Cabana reverses into a sunset flip for a creative counter. The Flying Apple (which might not have been named yet) connects but it’s too early for the Billy Goat’s Curse. Finlay kicks him shoulder first into the post and then does it again for a bonus. The Celtic Cross finishes Cabana at 15:16.

Rating: C. This didn’t really feel like some kind of special British match as it was really just Finlay working the arm and the a regular finish. The rounds didn’t change much either and I was a bit disappointed with the whole thing. It was fine as a regular match, but they seemed to be going for something special here and it just wasn’t there.

7OH!4 vs. Unholy Alliance

7OH!4 is Caleb Konley/Cedric Alexander, with commentary saying they are the next CM Punk/Colt Cabana or Motor City Machine Guns. Eh they were names but hold on a second there. The Alliance is Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck, former ECW Tag Team Champions but unfortunately minus James Mitchell/Sinister Minister. Konley grabs a wristlock on Mikey to start but he’s right back with a hiptoss into a headscissors despite not being the size of a guy you would expect to use a headscissors.

We hear about some rookie named Zack Ryder to come out of Mikey’s school as Tajiri comes in to a rather big reaction. Tajiri misses a swinging kick to Alexander’s face so it’s a hammerlock to take Alexander down instead. Back up and Alexander’s headlock doesn’t work and Tajiri starts firing off the kicks to the arm. Mikey comes in to pick Alexander up so Tajiri can nail a dropkick to the face. There’s a double gutbuster to Konley and stereo kicks to the head have him on the floor as the fans are rather pleased.

Mikey’s slingshot dive takes out both of them and the referee begins a rather slow count. Tajiri however won’t dive so Mikey comes back in and gets enziguried into a Downward Spiral for two (with Excalibur getting in the beta version of combiNATION, because I can’t escape the thing). Konley grabs the cravate to hold Mikey down for a bit, followed by the basement clothesline to give Alexander two. Tajiri spits at Alexander (with commentary thinking it’s Konley) and it’s a double Russian legsweep to drop Mikey for two.

Hold on though as Tajiri comes in to….pull Mikey’s pants up and then head back to the apron. Well at least he’s polite. Embracing the power of raised pants, Mikey superkicks Alexander (THE PANTS WORKED!) and it’s back to Tajiri to clean house. Everything breaks down and Tajiri’s superkick gets tow on Konley. Mikey snaps off a pretty nice Frankensteiner on Alexander and a low makes it worse. The referee checks on Alexander and Tajiri mists Konley, setting up the Whippersnapper for the pin at 10:19.

Rating: C+. I know Mikey and Tajiri were a big deal in the dying days of ECW but they were a rather nice team who still looked good here. You don’t get something like that very often and it was fun to see them working so well. Alexander and Konley were still really young here so losing to a team with some credibility, even if it was twelve years old at this point, was fine. Pretty good match here too so well done on a little surprise.

Demus 3:16 vs. Mascarita Dorado

Minis match and Dorado is better known as El Torito. Demus is a good bit bigger and is probably about Rey Mysterio size. A wristdrag takes Demus down to start and frustration is already setting in. Demus knocks him down without much effort so Dorado starts rolling around as we hear about the WWF Light Heavyweight division. Dorado pulls him into the cross armbreaker but Demus powers him up with ease because the size difference is a bit much here.

Back up and a rather spinning headscissors sends Demus outside, setting up the big suicide dive. Dorado manages to throw him back inside for a fireman’s carry, which is a little more impressive than you might think. A fireman’s carry slam sets up a moonsault but the second moonsault only hits raised boots. Demus grabs a tilt-a-whirl into a Dominator (cool) and there’s a giant swing to send Dorado down again. They head outside with Dorado being dropped onto the timekeeper’s table and Demus takes him back in for a pop up powerslam.

There’s a heck of a toss as Excalibur talks about Wolverine debuting back in the 1960s. Dorado bounces up out of the corner with a double springboard headbutt, followed by a crazy spinning (as in he spins around Demus about ten times) into a headscissors to the floor. That earns the HOLY S*** chant, setting up the top rope hurricanrana to take Demus down again. Back in and a top rope hurricanrana, with Dorado landing on his feet because, sets up another very spinning hurricanrana into a small package for the pin at 8:04.

Rating: C+. Yeah this was fun and Dorado is one of those things that has to be seen to be believed. He can do all kinds of stuff out there and makes it look easy, which is about as cool as you can get. Demus was a good target for Dorado as he is so much bigger, allowing Dorado to do all of his spots out there. Throw in getting in and out fairly fast and this was a lot of fun. Not great, but it was the kind of match that fit in perfectly on a show like this.

Dorado having a salsa version of the Mission Impossible theme makes it even better. The fans throw in the money so Dorado slaps him in the face with a dollar. That might seem rude, but Demus picks the dollar up and, ahem, cleans himself with it so Dorado is better….I guess?

Tommy Dreamer vs. Kevin Steen

Street fight and for you younger people, Steen is better known as Kevin Owens. The fans seem split here and it’s an exchange of hammerlocks to start. Dreamer’s shoulder bounces off of Steen (Steen: “IN YOUR DREAMS!”) and it’s time to hammer on Dreamer for a bit. Steen drop toeholds him down and hits the flipping legdrop to the back of Dreamer’s head. Back up and Dreamer kicks him low in the corner to send Steen outside, setting up the running flip dive off the apron.

A bottle of water to the head rocks Steen again but Dreamer gets crotched on the barricade because Dreamer spends too much time pointing at the crowd (as Dreamer tends to do). They brawl through the crowd and Steen hits him over the back with a well stolen crutch. Dreamer gets taken up onto a camera table and gets knocked down onto (not through) another table in a big crash. Back into the crowd with Dreamer hitting him in the head with a Steen DVD.

Dreamer sends him into the barricade and then heads backstage to grab the usual assortment of weapons. A hockey stick to the back rocks Steen again and there’s….something made of wood over Steen’s head. Dreamer gets sent into a plastic tray in the corner and Steen hits him in the knee with a stick. The Sharpshooter goes on (because Steen is Canadian) but is broken up in a hurry. Dreamer misses a charge into the post so Steen puts a stop sign over him to set up the Cannonball, which is not the brightest move in the world.

That lets Steen tie him in the Tree of Woe and this isn’t going to end well. Indeed, as Steen hits a running dropkick to a chair in the face. Commentary starts making Steven Segal references as Dreamer catches him on top with a superplex. Dreamer wins the big slugout so Steen goes low in a smart move. The Even Flow gets two but Dreamer catches him on top to break up a moonsault.

Now it’s Steen in the Tree of Woe so Dreamer can hit him low with a stick. There’s the running basement dropkick to drive a stop sign into Steen’s face and now it’s time to grab a piece of barricade. That takes too long though and Steen superkicks him off the apron. The fans want to see someone use a hammer but they settle for Dreamer kicking a rope for a low blow. With nothing else working, one of the fans gives Dreamer a HUGE hammer, which he uses to crush the bell between Steen’s legs. Steen is fine enough to shove Dreamer onto the piece of barricade inside and a Swanton finishes Dreamer at 19:24.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty hard hitting street fight, though it did run a good bit longer than it should have. What mattered here was the idea of the old hardcore legend vs. the new breed and that worked out rather well. I’m not wild on these matches most of the time but this one was pretty fun, which is about all you can hope for in this kind of a situation.

Post match Steen is ready to say something to Dreamer but Raven runs in to hit Steen low and DDT Dreamer for old times’ sake. Steen to Raven: “You’re a f****** a**hole!” Steen to Dreamer: “Thank you.”

Intermission, which is cut from the video.

Roderick Strong vs. Jake Manning

Manning is an adult Manscout and comes out to a John Cougar Mellencamp song, which I believe was used in the Waterboy. After Manning gives the referee some lessons on how to properly call a match, he takes Strong down to the mat for a headscissors. They grapple on the mat for a bit with Strong getting the better of things but that is broken up in a hurry. Manning takes him back down by the arm as commentary talks about how it might be difficult to find footage on Manning, who rarely leaves the southeast.

Strong is back up with a shot to the face and unloads with the chops in the corner. A belly to back suplex sets up a chinlock on Manning but he’s right back up with a kick to the face. Manning drops an elbow for two and drives Strong into the corner for the choking. They head outside with Manning sending him into the apron for two, setting up the next chinlock. That’s broken up as well and they go with a pinfall reversal sequence for some near falls each. Strong is back up with a dropkick and they’re both down for a breather.

It’s Strong up first with a bunch of running forearms into a belly to back suplex for two more. Manning comes back with an (oddly appropriate for reasons that I can’t figure out) airplane spin. Strong isn’t having that and hammers away but Manning is right back with a backbreaker into a Downward Spiral for three. Only two of them count though due to the foot being on the rope though, meaning Strong can come back with an enziguri. The Angle Slam gets two and it’s the backbreaker into the Sick Kick to finish Manning at 11:04.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of match that I like to see on a show like this, as Strong is a much bigger name than Manning but they went back and forth well enough here to make you believe that Manning could pull it off. The match worked well as Strong can have a good match against anyone and Manning held up his end despite being known for little more than his gimmick. Good stuff here, with a nice battle of the generations.

Davey Richards vs. Harry Smith

That would be Davey Boy Smith Jr., freshly released from WWE, and this could be interesting. They go with the technical exchange to start (shocking I know) with Richards getting him down into a modified surfboard and rolling him up for two. That’s broken up for a standoff and they lock up, with Smith absolutely towering over Richards. It’s back to the mat with Smith grabbing a short armscissors and rolling him around a bit.

That’s reversed into something like an Indian Deathlock from Richards to crank on the leg. Make that a Muta Lock with commentary thinking Richards would do well at Subway. Smith slips out and cranks him down by the arm, setting up a full nelson. That’s broken up as well as Richards rolls out with an armdrag, only to get pulled into a spinning belly to belly for two. More arm cranking has Richards down again but he sends Smith to the floor. There’s the running kick to the chest from the apron, setting up the suicide dive.

Back in and a missile dropkick sends Smith into the corner. It’s time to start working on the leg, with Davey kicking away and grabbing a Trailer Hitch. Richards stomps on both knees at once and it’s a dragon screw legwhip into a half crab. Now it’s an STF as the fans start shouting various things. Smith fights up and kicks him into the corner, setting up a powerslam for two.

Smith crotches him on top and grabs a delayed superplex for a slightly delayed near fall. A superkick and a powerbomb give Smith two more each but Richards kicks him down again. The top rope double stomp gets two and we hit the ankle lock. That’s broken up with a roll into the post, allowing Smith to grab a cross armbreaker. Richards rolls into another ankle lock, which Smith reverses into one of his own.

The grapevined version is countered into a Sharpshooter, which Smith reverses into his own Sharpshooter. Smith grabs a small package for two but Richards BLASTS him with a knee for the same. Back up and Smith tries a powerbomb but Richards reverses into a sunset flip. Smith sits down on it ala his dad against Bret Hart, only to have Richards slip out into a cradle for the pin at 17:26.

Rating: B. It was good action throughout and Smith looked good in defeat, but egads I had forgotten how hard it is to get invested in a Richards match. He is so ultra serious all the time, though at least he wasn’t doing his “get kicked in the head and scream a lot without selling anything” and writing it off as strong style. This got the crowd going and I certainly didn’t hate it though, which is some high praise for a Richards match.

Post match Richards says he can’t believe the people up north let Smith go. Richards talks about the similarities between the two of them, including idolizing the same people growing up. Respect is shown and Smith says it’s better to hear these fans chant his name instead of Michael Cole every Monday night. Wrestling will always be #1 for him, even if he jumps into MMA (which he didn’t).

El Generico/Great Sasuke vs. Young Bucks

The Bucks are actually young here and come out to MMMBop, which is rather frustrating. Matt does the Randy Savage finger spin and Nick parodies the Spinarooni (there’s your 90s reference). The fans go NUTS for Generico and it’s a shame that he retired so soon after this. You know Excalibur is right there with all of the Sasuke history because this is his thing.

Generico reveals a half Generico/Sasuke mask and takes Nick down to start. An exchange of wristlocks goes nowhere so Nick drives him into the corner and starts in on the arm again. We hear about how completely and utterly amazing the Bucks are as Sasuke comes in to headlock Nick. Some kicks to the ribs have little effect on Sasuke (the only time Sasuke and Rick Rude will be compared), who elbows Nick in the head. Generico comes back in and gets taken into the corner so Matt can talk a lot of trash.

A few quick armdrags have Matt in trouble as we hear about Sasuke making a documentary about mouthwash (or something). Generico hammers away on Matt in the corner and fires off chops against the ropes for a bonus. Matt is back with the headscissors to hold Generico in place, allowing Nick to kick him in the mask and into the barricade. Back in and Matt laughs at Generico, setting up the slow motion stomping.

We hit the front facelock until Nick comes back in for some shots in the corner. A handspring rake to the back sets up a slingshot hilo as Excalibur talks about how the Young Bucks have a supernatural feel for the DMZ on the thirty third parallel in the ring. Generico rakes the Bucks’ chests to escape but it’s still too early for the tag. Matt’s waistlock keeps Generico in trouble but he manages the exploder suplex into the corner.

That’s enough for the hot tag to Sasuke to clean house as everything breaks down. Sasuke dropkicks Nick through the ropes and Generico hits the big running flip dive to crush Matt. Back in and a Blockbuster gets two on Matt and Sasuke takes a LONG time to go up for a Ram Jam (from The Wrestler), allowing Matt to roll away. The Bucks take turns kicking Sasuke in the back of the trunks but it’s back to Generico for the Blue Thunder Bomb to Nick.

The Helluva Kick is broken up but Nick kicks Matt in the head but mistake. Sasuke crushes Nick with a springboard missile dropkick, only to have Nick low bridge him to the floor. A wheelbarrow faceplant gives Matt two on Generico and Risky Business gets the same. More Bang For Your Buck is countered into a half and half suplex and Sasuke is back with a powerbomb to Nick. Matt superkicks Sasuke though and everyone is down again.

Nick comes back in to knee Sasuke off the apron but Generico sends Nick’s kick into Matt’s head. You know the Bucks aren’t selling that though and it’s a double superkick into the assisted Tombstone for two on Generico with Sasuke making another save. Nick misses a moonsault and Sasuke hits a big flip dive onto Matt on the floor. That gets the fans back into it and Generico’s Swanton gets two on Nick. Now the Helluva Kick can connect to set up the brainbuster onto the buckle to finish Nick at 21:12.

Rating: B. This was better than I was expecting and it was nice to see the Bucks actually lose for a change. You don’t usually see the dream team beating the regular partners so this was quite the surprise. It really is a shame that Generico retired, as he is quite the star. You can see how influential he was too, as a lot of people would copy his style, almost down to the move at times.

Wrestle Royal

20 man Royal Rumble and Ken Shamrock is a ringside enforcer. Matt Classic (I hear Colt Cabana is a big fan) is in at #1 and Lanny Poffo is in at #2 for one of the most unique matches I can remember seeing in a long time. Commentary makes it clear that entrants will be STRICTLY timed, after an apparent issue last year. Classic slowly hammers away at the back and grabs a claw but misses the bottom rope splash. Poffo actually manages the moonsault (not bad for 57) and goes for the mask.

Rock Riddle (the original Mr. Wonderful, who I’ve never actually seen wrestle) is in at #3 as we seem to have 90 second intervals. Riddle doesn’t actually get in the ring as Classic and Poffo continue their slow motion fighting. The timing is already a bit off as Carlos Colon (The Youngster!) is in at #4. Colon gets to hit both guys in the head as commentary continues its running joke of Classic feuding with every old wrestler ever. Riddle finally comes in (I wasn’t betting on the flower print gear) for a few shots of his own as Gangrel is in at #5.

Brawling continues as Gangrel (getting a rather strong reception) bites Poffo in the corner. The clock is even further all over the place as Jesse Hernandez is in at #6. Classic gets beaten up some more but gets choked in the corner by Gangrel. Mando Guerrero is in at #7 and gets quite the reception as he beats on Classic. They finally start teasing some eliminations (and no you cannot expect any kind of serious quality out of this) until Kevin Sullivan is in at #8.

Stick shots abound until Colon headbutts the stick out of Sullivan’s hands. Colon stabs Sullivan in the stomach with said stick and then beats Gangrel in the back. Piloto Suicida (still active today) is in at #9 as the ring is really getting full. The rapid fire entrances (now barely at a minute) continue as Tommy Dreamer is in at #10 (OF COURSE Dreamer is working twice) to hammer on Gangrel as commentary talks about how these two are some of the youngest in the match. Everyone is still in as Dreamer beats on Classic, apparently as payback for all of those boring Madison Square Garden main events.

Robbie E., the reigning TNA TV Champion, is in at #11 and promises to become the youngest ever winner of this match. Then Dreamer tosses him in a hurry for a funny bit. Virgil (to Ted DiBiase’s music) is in at #12 as Poffo, Colon and Guerrero were all put out somewhere. Greg Valentine, coming out to Sharp Dressed Man of all things, is in at #13. Classic is doing Hindu squats as Sullivan hits Suicida with the bell. Valentine has Dreamer in the Figure Four as Gangrel drops elbows.

Konnan is in at #14 to go after Sullivan, with commentary (thankfully) bringing up the Dungeon of Doom. Dan Severn is in at #15 and this could be interesting. Gangrel goes after Severn in a hurry as the ring is too full again. Jimmy Hart, with a lot of padding, of all people is in at #16 and wisely walks around the ring for a bit.

Godfather, with his ladies, is in at #17 and Gangrel eliminates himself to join in. Hart was eliminated off screen and Brutus Beefcake is in at #18 (dang I miss that theme) and goes after Valentine to ruin the Dream Team reunion. Bradley Ray Schreak (an auction winner) is in at #19 as Sullivan is out. Beefcake grabs the sleeper on Schreak as Suicida is out. Schreak gets a haircut, including with the big scissors, as Severn gets rid of Virgil. The match completely stops for the haircut until Schreak wakes up and panics over his hair being gone.

That’s enough for an elimination and it’s Raven in at #20 (with Dreamer waiting on him) to complete the field. The final grouping is Classic, Dreamer, Valentine, Konnan, Severn, Godfather, Beefcake and Raven. Hang on though as Raven doesn’t want to get in, only to have Kevin Steen come out and jump him from behind. Steen throws Raven in for a DDT from Dreamer, who tosses Raven without much trouble. Dreamer, ever the genius, jumps out to beat on Raven some more and beats him to the back with Steen. Classic is eliminated and there goes Konnan.

We’re down to Severn, Valentine, Beefcake and Godfather (I love indy wrestling) but Shamrock distracts Severn, allowing Valentine to toss him. Severn pulls Valentine out and we’re down to two. The Ho Train misses Godfather but he low bridges Beefcake out for the win at 23:12.

Rating: C. Fun. What other word is there to describe something like this? They weren’t trying to do anything serious here and it was all about having people get a quick payoff and come out to a pop. It worked at the Gimmick Battle Royal in 2001 and it works at any show like this. I had a good time with it and that’s the entire point of this kind of match. It’s a lot of fun, and well done on doing what they should have.

The women come in to dance with Godfather, who hits his catchphrase (while clearly having a blast) to wrap up the night.

Overall Rating: B. I’ve seen a good number of these reunion style shows and this was one of the better ones, with a nice mixture of old vs. new and some legends matches thrown in there as well. They had some big names included and while they might have had a better option as the main event (though it did fit the reunion theme), this was a lot of fun. It’s longer than it needs to be (at nearly three and a half hours, not counting intermission), but I had a good time with it and that is entirely the goal with something like this.

 

 

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Hog Wild
Date: August 10, 1996
Location: Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, Sturgis, South Dakota
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Dusty Rhodes, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

This is one of the more unique shows that you’ll see as we are outside in front of a bunch of bikers. I’m sure they will be a completely acceptable crowd with no problems or distractions whatsoever. We’re also just into the NWO era and Hollywood Hogan is getting the World Title shot against the Giant. Let’s get to it.

Of note: there were EIGHT Saturday Night matches before the pay per view went on the air, so the bikers might be a little bit sick of wrestling already.

We open with a look at the Sturgis Rally, with no matches mentioned whatsoever.

Tony, Dusty and Bobby…..are dressed in biker gear with more jokes available than I can possibly fathom.

Cruiserweight Title: Ultimate Dragon vs. Rey Mysterio

Dragon (it says Ultimate everywhere else so that’s what we’ll go with) is challenging and has Sonny Onoo with him. Tony asks Bobby where his tattoo and dew rag are and I begin to have nightmares. Thankfully Mike Tenay joins commentary to tell us that this is the first ever meeting. Dragon takes him down by the arm to start but gets pulled into a leglock. Back up and Dragon gets in a shot of his own for a breather into a standoff.

A spinwheel kick drops Rey, sending Dusty into one of his funny rants about move names. Neither can hit a headscissors and we have another standoff. A spinning kick to the chest drops Rey again and there’s the handspring elbow in the corner. The running Liger Bomb doesn’t even get a cover as Dragon grabs a Figure Four of all things instead. With that broken up, Dragon hits his spinning torture rack dropped down into a backbreaker, followed by the surfboard.

Heenan makes jokes about Cesar Romero and Desi Arnaz as Rey gets out and hits a springboard dropkick out to the floor. There’s a baseball slide to knock Dragon off the platform into the dirt, with Rey hitting a HUGE springboard dive (with the camera mostly missing it) to take him down again.

Back in and a springboard hurricanrana keeps the crowd popped but another springboard is dropkicked out of the air. Rey is knocked outside so Dragon hits a slingshot dive to take him down again. They head back inside with Dragon hitting a moonsault for two but Rey catches him on top with a super hurricanrana to retain at 11:36.

Rating: B-. It’s a good opener and both of them would go on to be able to do some far better stuff, but this wasn’t exactly the blowaway match I was expecting. They did their high flying stuff but Rey didn’t really go nuts and Dragon was more about striking and grappling than high flying. What they did worked well enough though, including managing to impress a non-wrestling crowd.

Gene Okerlund, also looking like a….well what WCW thinks a biker looks like, shills the Hotline.

We talk about the rally some more.

Ice Train vs. Scott Norton

They used to be partners as Fire & Ice but then split up. I like Ice Train but is there a reason his name sounds like a Mad Lib? Train also has a bad shoulder coming in to give Norton a target. Norton powers him into the corner to start and chops at the bandaged shoulder, showing that he is at least moderately intelligent. The slugout goes to Norton, who cuts him down with another shot to the shoulder. A rake to the eyes and some more shots to the face send Train outside, where the shoulder is sent into the post.

Back in and Train manages a slam with the good arm. Since it’s just a slam though, Norton chops him down again and cranks on the arm. Train gets up and actually drops Norton with some chops but Norton does it a good bit better. The armbar goes on and Norton drops a leg on the arm to make it even worse. Back up and Norton charges into a powerslam for two but he’s fine enough to hit a clothesline. A Fujiwara armbar makes Train give it up at 5:07.

Rating: D. The match made sense but it wasn’t quite the most thrilling thing in the world. Train had a bad shoulder so Norton went after it over and over. That should be an easy way to go, but you can only get so far with a bunch of chops. Not a very good match, though who was expecting much out of the battle of Fire and Ice?

We get a video from Ric Flair, talking about how serious the NWO is now that they took out Arn Anderson. That is Flair’s best friend, and WCW is his other best friend. The NWO is in trouble now because the Horsemen are involved. That should have been the easiest idea in all of WCW and they managed to screw it up.

Hey look: bikers!

You can get Hog Wild merch!

Madusa vs. Bull Nakano

This is Bike vs. Bike, with the winner getting to destroy the loser’s motorcycle. Wouldn’t that make either winner a heel for this crowd? Nakano’s manager Sonny Onoo and Madusa ride in on the motorcycles, leaving Nakano to just look scary. Nakano jumps her fast with a nunchuck and Dusty LOSES IT over the attack.

Madusa gets bent around the middle rope and a double ax handle to the back puts her down. The USA chants start up and Madusa grabs a chair takedown. Nakano is right back with what would become Paige’s Scorpion Crosslock, followed by a hard slam. We hit the chinlock as commentary talks about how strong Nakano is.

Back up and Madusa snaps off a hurricanrana for two and a spinwheel kick to the face gets the same. Another kick misses and Nakano blasts her with a clothesline for two of her own. Madusa’s bridging German suplex gets two more and Nakano hits something similar for the same. A not great looking sunset flip gives Madusa the next near(ish) fall but Nakano grabs the belly to back suplex, with only Madusa getting her shoulder up for the pin at 4:57.

Rating: C. They were bringing the power game here and it was miles ahead of anything else women were doing in America at this point. The problem was the sloppiness in some points (including the ending), but given the atmosphere they were working in, there was only so much you could expect. Still though, rather hard hitting match as you would have expected.

Post match Sonny Onoo grabs the sledgehammer to go after Madusa’s bike. This goes as well as you would expect it to, as Madusa takes it away and destroys Nakano’s bike instead.

The Steiners are chatting on CompuServe. I don’t think Rick Steiner knows what he is doing.

Commentary thinks we’re going to Gene Okerlund. We’re not going to Gene Okerlund.

Chris Benoit vs. Dean Malenko

Jimmy Hart tries to come out with Dean Malenko, who isn’t interested. Benoit on the other hand has Woman and Elizabeth with him. They jaw with each other a bit to start until Malenko takes him down and hammers away. Benoit kicks him in the ribs to take over but Malenko gets in some boots of his own. A suplex gets two and we hit an early chinlock as Heenan goes into some weird analogy about birds. Benoit fights up and chokes on the rope as Tony has to bring commentary back to the match from their NWO discussion.

A back elbow gives Benoit a few near falls and they go to the pinfall reversal sequence. Malenko wins the battle over a backslide for two as Woman screams a lot. The short armscissors has Benoit down but he muscles Malenko up and drops him down for the break. There’s the snap suplex for two as the fans do not exactly seem thrilled. An abdominal stretch goes on but Malenko grabs the foot to escapes and flips him over.

Commentary talks about how we are coming up on a new millennium and these two could be the future. Eh kind of with one of them. Back up and they hit stereo crossbodies for a double knockdown to get a breather. Malenko goes up but gets knocked out of the air, setting up another snap suplex. The Swan Dive gives Benoit a delayed two and it’s time to fight over a Tombstone until Malenko plants him for a few near falls.

Benoit charges into a boot in the corner but is fine enough to counter a Texas Cloverleaf attempt into a small package for two. They fall out to the floor in a double heap with Malenko blocking a posting by hitting one of his own and it’s time to go back inside. Benoit catches him on top with a heck of a superplex and they’re both down again. Malenko hits a release German suplex for two more as the fans (or more like people who happen to be here) just do not care.

A hard clothesline gives Malenko two as Heenan tries to figure out how many holds Malenko knows (Chris Jericho can be seen in the background taking notes). Benoit slams him down and grabs the Liontamer (Chris Jericho can be seen in the background furiously taking notes) but Malenko makes the rope. A victory roll gives Malenko two and another backslide gets another two. Benoit runs him over for two more but Malenko catches him on top for a superplex. There’s a powerbomb to Benoit but time expires at 20:00.

Actually hang on as we’re going to get a five minute overtime, which the bikers DO NOT like. Benoit jumps Malenko at the start of overtime and grabs the Cloverleaf in the middle of the ring. After over a minute, Benoit lets it go, which seems rather unlike him. Malenko’s leg is done so Benoit kicks away and cranks on said leg on the mat. Some Ric Flair Cannonballs onto the leg set up another hold but Malenko reverses into a cradle as overtime expires.

We get ANOTHER five minute overtime and the bikers boo this out the non-existent building. Malenko snaps off a dragon screw legwhip but Benoit is back up with the dragon suplex for two. Benoit misses a dropkick and gets Cloverleafed, with Malenko switching it into an STF. Woman tries to help Benoit make the rope so Malenko goes after her, allowing Benoit to grab a rollup for the pin at 28:13. The replay shows him grabbing the rope for a bonus, because he is in fact a Horseman.

Rating: B+. You can go a few different ways with the thinking here. On the one hand, it’s a great match with two guys going at it for the better part of half an hour in a pretty bad spot. On the other hands, the fans didn’t care and the wrestlers failed to get over. There might be something to the latter, but consider the situation these guys were in.

These bikers didn’t pay to see a wrestling show. They’re here to see Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage and people from the WWF ten years ago. Benoit and Malenko are small guys they’ve never seen before and don’t care about having a pretty long match. You’re supposed to make the fans happy, but I’m not sure if these people qualify as fans as much as they are just people watching the matches because they’re there. This match was great though so I’ll go with the “these bikers are pinheads” and move on.

Tag Team Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Harlem Heat

Harlem Heat, with Sheri and Colonel Parker, is defending and the fans do not seem thrilled with them. Everyone stalls for a good bit to start as commentary talks about the NWO. Scott and Booker officially start, with the latter being honked at a lot. The bikers go so nuts that Booker bails to the floor before coming back in to shove Scott for the first contact nearly two and a half minutes in.

Scott isn’t having that and hits a butterfly powerbomb, followed by a quick suplex so the Steiners can clear the ring in a hurry. Back in and Scott shoulders Booker down and a gorilla press makes it worse. The ten right hands in the corner rock Booker and he bails to the floor for another breather. This time it’s Stevie coming in to hammer on Scott, which actually works this time.

Scott runs Stevie over with ease, allowing the tag to Rick for a chinlock. Stevie gets up so Rick Steiner Lines him back down as this is totally one sided so far. A rake to the eyes into a side slam drops Scott as Sherri is shouting about having a nervous breakdown. That is only going to get worse as Scott hits a spinning belly to belly for two more. Rick comes back in for a suplex of his own and a “SHUT UP B****” to Sherri. Stevie gets in a cheap shot from the apron to finally slow the Steiners down for a bit.

A clothesline sets up a chinlock but Rick pops up for his weird powerslam. That’s enough to bring Scott back in for an STF of all things before Rick comes back in for his own chinlock. Stevie fights up though and Booker low bridges him down to the floor to really put Rick in trouble for a change. Back in and Booker’s side kick only crotches him on top but Stevie makes the fast save. Stevie comes in to strike and choke away, followed by a big boot to put Rick down again.

It starts getting dark so the lights come on, meaning more engine revving as Booker grabs a chinlock. Rick fights up so it’s a Spinarooni into a side kick for no cover, with Dusty kind of complaining without actually saying anything negative (as Dusty tended to do). Booker misses a middle rope knee though and Rick makes the easy tag to Scott. Everything breaks down and Parker throws powder in Booker’s face by mistake. Since she seems to know Parker is a moron, Sherri is right there to throw it in Scott’s eyes as well. A cane shot to the head is enough to finish Scott at 17:53.

Rating: C. This was a longer match and that was both a good and a bad thing. The Steiners were both getting a bit slower at this point, with Scott being so muscular he looked like a cartoon. That does not make for better long form matches, though a major title match should get the extra time. It also didn’t help that the Steiners dominated for so long, but I could watch the Steiners throw people around for hours at a time, making it a rather enjoyable domination. In other words, I’m all over the place on this one and we’ll go with right in the middle.

Heenan sounds a bit, ahem, out of it on the replays. Wouldn’t surprise me actually.

Here’s a look at wrestlers on motorcycles.

Here’s a look at the rally.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Ric Flair

Flair, with Woman and Elizabeth, is defending. They fight over a lockup into the corner until Eddie knocks him outside in a hurry. Back in and Eddie grabs a headlock but Flair belly to back suplexes him down with a weird landing, possibly hanging up Eddie’s arm. Eddie comes back in and gets dropped again, only to nip right back up. Flair’s poke to the eye and chop put Eddie down again as the sun is starting to set.

Back up and some rapid fire shots rock Flair in the corner and Eddie rains down some right hands. Flair gets tossed outside and a running clothesline puts him on the floor again. Back in and Woman offers a distraction so Flair can get in a low blow, allowing Heenan to make a chili joke. Eddie’s sunset flip doesn’t work so he grabs a Figure Four to put Flair in some trouble. That’s broken up so Eddie runs up the ropes into a hurricanrana for two more.

Flair goes up and comes crashing back down to give Eddie another near fall. The second sunset flip attempt (thanks to Flair’s trunks coming down and a kick from the referee) is good for two so Eddie goes up top. The frog splash connects but Eddie bangs up his knee, meaning it’s time for the regular Flair selection. Flair grabs the Figure Four and, thanks to Woman grabbing Flair’s hands, Eddie is pinned at 14:29.

Rating: B. Like this wasn’t going to be good. Eddie was nowhere near the star he would become but you could see the abilities in the ring. You could see that Flair was giving him a lot here too in an effort to get over though, which was always one of Flair’s greatest strengths. This was one of the best things on the show so far, and it was nice to see both of them doing their thing so well.

Jimmy Hart (looking weird without glasses) and Giant are ready for Hollywood Hogan tonight. Hogan told the fans to stick it, but Giant is going to stick his hand around Hogan’s neck for a chokeslam. Giant has gotten miles better at promos in the last year.

Outsiders vs. Sting/Lex Luger

For reasons I still don’t quite get, Sting and Luger were champs until June but lost them to Harlem Heat, who traded the titles with the Steiners and Public Enemy (winning the titles three times in just over three months) instead of just having the Outsiders take the titles from Sting and Luger here. If nothing else, it would have given them a heck of a visual to end the show and the Outsiders winning the titles was inevitable anyway.

Anyway Hall (thanks to a game of Rock Paper Scissors) and Luger start things off with Hall working on a top wristlock. That’s broken up with straight power so Hall mocks Luger a bit, as only he can. Nash comes in and, after a bit of a tease, Luger brings Sting in as well. An exchange of shots to the face has Nash rocked a bit but Sting can’t slam him. More rights and lefts stagger Nash though and a poke to the eyes allows the slam.

Since it’s just a slam, Nash is right back up with Snake Eyes to take over and Hall comes back in for the corner clothesline. Heenan continues to sound bombed as he says he doesn’t care who wins here. Hall and Nash start taking turns beating on Sting, with Hall getting in the quality taunting that he does so well. A heck of a clothesline in the corner drops Sting and Nash comes in for the boot choke. Sting starts fighting back with that unique style of striking of his but it isn’t enough to get over for the tag. Instead it’s a collision to put Nash down, allowing Sting to fall down for the low blow.

Hall cuts off the tag, earning a COME ON HALL from Heenan. Tony: “WHAT???” Even Heenan doesn’t seem to get that one, which shouldn’t be that surprising. Sting backdrops his way out of the Outsider’s Edge attempt and the hot tag brings in Luger. Everything breaks down and Sting gets the Scorpion on Nash on the floor. The torture rack attempt knocks down referee Nick Patrick, who staggers right into Luger’s knee. A fast count gives Hall the pin at 14:34.

Rating: C-. The match was a bit dull but what hurts it more than anything else is the lack of stakes. I know it’s a big match for the Outsiders to get the pin over two of the biggest names in WCW, but how much better would this have been if the Outsiders had won the Tag Team Titles here? The match wasn’t exactly bad, though it could have been a lot more all things considered.

Heenan didn’t think the count was fast, as he still isn’t all there (throw in the slurred speech and I don’t think there is much doubt about what is going on).

WCW World Title: The Giant vs. Hollywood Hogan

Giant, with Jimmy Hart is defending, but first we need a long introduction about how amazing the bikers are, because motorcycles are cool or something. Hogan, the biggest heel in the world at the moment, gets the biggest face pop of the night. And they actually came here THREE MORE TIMES because Bischoff really, really loves motorcycles. It’s also fun to see Hogan still doing a lot of his face stuff as he doesn’t have the heel version entirely figured out yet.

Hogan hits the stall button to start and Heenan is loving the fact that he gets to rip on Hogan and have everyone admit that he’s right after all these years. Back in and Hogan hammers away in the corner to no effect so it’s time for more stalling on the floor. Hogan gets inside again and this time gets tossed right back to the floor as they’re firmly in first gear. A headlock is countered into a belly to back suplex to put Hogan on the floor again as it feels like we’ve been here before.

Giant wins a test of strength until Hogan fires off some kicks to the ribs, again earning a huge cheer from the bikers. The comeback is on and Giant gets him down to his knees as we are seven minutes into this thing. A top wristlock drives Hogan down but he grabs the hair to set up an armbar. The double arm crank goes on as it’s bizarre to see Hogan using all of these holds. Giant fights up so Hogan pulls him down by the hair. Back up again and three headbutts put Hogan on the floor.

That’s fine with Hogan, who pulls Giant outside and hammers away but Giant kicks him down back inside. A backbreaker gives Giant two but the big elbow misses. Hogan gets in some right hands…..and Giant Hulks Up, complete with shaking and the finger point. Giant hits a big boot and loads up the chokeslam but has to deal with the invading Outsiders. That’s enough for Hogan to get in a belt shot for the pin and the title at 14:53 in one of the most obvious results you’ll ever see (and that is not a bad thing).

Rating: D. Not only was the crowd all over the place (but the WCW guys got to ride motorcycles so it’s cool) but the match was a lot of Hogan stalling and very slow motion moves. Giant Hulking Up was a nice touch but that was about the only positive here. There was zero doubt about who was winning here and you absolutely had to put the title on Hogan, but it wasn’t an easy path to get there.

Post match the celebration is on, with Booty Man coming out in an NWO shirt with a birthday cake for Hogan (whose birthday was the next day but close enough). We hear about their 22 year friendship and Hogan says they have been like blood. Hogan talks about how he is going to beat Ric Flair at Clash of the Champions, mainly because Flair keeps mixing business with personal.

The NWO doesn’t do that though…..so “get him boys”. The beatdown is on and Hogan asks what he’ll do to Flair if he’ll do that to his brother. With that out of the way, we get the NWO spray painted on the title, which wound up being a pretty big deal. Of note: Giant laid there for about seven plus minutes while the NWO did their thing. Screw the legdrop, as that’s the most amazing belt shot ever.

Commentary is upset and scared of what is coming.

Roll credits, over a shot of a motorcycle of course.

Overall Rating: C+. The atmosphere was certainly unique, even if you discount the annoyance that was the bikers doing their own thing all night. The wrestling itself was pretty good for the most part and the two main event matches did enough of what they were supposed to. It’s not a great show but the post match event deal with the spray paint was certainly a big deal. Thrown in Heenan being bombed live on pay per view and there are worse options out there for a nearly three hour show. Oh and bikers, because motorcycles are the coolest things EVER. Eh Bischoff can explain it better than I can.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania IX
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,891
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

This is one of the weakest cards the series has ever seen. Nothing on the show feels important with the main event of Bret Hart defending the WWF World Title against Royal Rumble winner Yokozuna feeling lukewarm at best. The second biggest match is Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake challenging Money Inc. for the Tag Team Titles. Like I said: not the strongest card. Let’s get to it.

Gorilla Monsoon is the host this year, meaning he’ll be on screen for less than five minutes. Like everyone else, Monsoon is in a toga because it’s a toga party. I’m still not sure who thought this was a good idea.

In one of the major moments of the show, Jim Ross (JR) makes his WWF debut and talks about the main events before taking his place as lead commentator. I really could have gone through life without ever seeing him in a toga.

Finkus Maximus (just go with it) introduces Caesar and Cleopatra on an elephant while JR gives a history of elephants and Rome. This is kind of missing the point of a wrestling show but Randy Savage is brought out on a sedan to make things a bit better. To really cap it off, Heenan comes out riding a camel backwards.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Tatanka

Shawn is defending after winning the title in November and has Luna Vachon, a rather scary woman with several tattoos on her face, trailing behind him. Tatanka is still undefeated and Sherri follows him out but it’s not clear if they’re associated. Heenan: “She’s here to beg Shawn Michaels to take her back!” Savage: “Wrong again camel breath.” Shawn goes for the leg to start but Tatanka kicks him away a few times as Heenan recaps the history here, roughly three minutes after JR did so.

The champ grabs a headlock for a bit before going up top, only to dive into an armdrag. More weak armdrags send Shawn to the mat before he channels his inner Nature Boy with a Flair Flip in the corner. A Tatanka chop knocks him off the apron so Shawn has to go to the eyes (another Flair standard) to get a breather. Things speed up until Shawn charges into an atomic drop and gets caught in a DDT.

Off to an armbar from Tatanka as Shawn apparently came into this with a bad shoulder. Back up and Shawn tries a clothesline but hurts his own arm in the process and it’s right back to the armbar. A charge sends Shawn’s shoulder into the post again and we hit the third armbar in a row. There’s a shoulder breaker but Tatanka doesn’t know how to follow up (Savage: “I would have covered him right there!”) so he goes to the top and dives into a superkick (still not a finish).

Shawn throws him to the floor and hits a great looking clothesline from the apron. It’s time to focus on the women for a bit with Shawn yelling at Sherri, only to turn around and get two off a swinging neckbreaker. Things settle down with a chinlock before Shawn starts firing off left hands as the arm is suddenly fine. Shawn tries a bad looking victory roll for two before going up top again for another victory roll which is countered into an electric chair (they just repeated the spot which always exposes too much).

Tatanka goes on the warpath (his version of Hulking Up) and starts the chops, followed by a catapult into the post as Shawn is now channeling Mr. Perfect. Shawn dives into a powerslam for two and they roll to the floor as the fans chant for Sherri. Heenan doesn’t understand why they’re doing that but his questioning gets cut off as Shawn pulls the referee to the floor. The Papoose To Go (fall away slam) knocks Shawn silly but he’s been disqualified at 18:08.

Rating: B. That’s a very frustrating ending but it makes sense as they wanted to keep the title on Shawn but didn’t want to end Tatanka’s undefeated streak, leaving them with few alternatives. Still though, this was one heck of a match though a bit longer than it needed to be. The shoulder stopped being a thing about halfway through, even though Shawn stopped selling as he was known to do. Tatanka just didn’t have anything past the basics but the fans got behind him due to his charisma, which is all you need most of the time.

Shawn leaves and Luna slams Sherri on the floor.

Recent arrivals the Steiner Brothers say this is their first Wrestlemania but it’s going to be one to be remembered and they’ll make Julius Caesar proud.

Headshrinkers vs. Steiner Brothers

The Headshrinkers are Samu and Fatu (later known as Rikishi) and the Steiners are Rick and Scott, a pair of hard hitting amateur wrestling brothers. At the bell, JR debuts the term slobberknocker to make this one historic. Scott and Fatu get things going with Scott easily taking him down via a nice amateur double leg. Fatu tries to make it into a slugout but Scott just takes his head off with a clothesline. The Headshrinkers double team Scott down so he and Rick get up on the same buckle for stereo top rope clotheslines. That looked awesome.

Things settle down as JR breaks some news about Luna attacking Sherri in the first aid station. Heenan won’t go back to check for an update because the camel is back there. Heenan: “Luna probably worked over the camel too.” Samu’s head cracks off the post and Scott dropkicks Fatu for good measure. Back up and Samu tries a hot shot but drops Scott face first over the top in a sick looking landing.

The Headshrinkers’ manager Afa CRACKS Scott in the back with his staff to keep him in trouble. Fatu’s middle rope headbutt gets two and Scott is almost out of it. The bad beating continues as Fatu sends him into the post, FINALLY drawing Rick over to check on his brother. Back in and Scott makes the eternal mistake of hitting a Samoan in the head, earning him a superkick. Yeah there’s really no defending that. You don’t hit a Samoan in the head.

Samu comes in and rakes the eyes as JR tries to call the match while Heenan argues with Savage. The fans chant for the Steiners as something like the Demolition Decapitator gets two on Scott. Back up and it’s a double clothesline as the announcers argue over what states border Oklahoma. Samu misses a headbutt and Scott finally tags off to Rick for some house cleaning and Samoan suplexing.

JR calls him Dog Face (short for Dog Face Gremlin, Rick’s nickname. That brings up a good sign for Ross. Back in 1993, not everyone would watch both companies, meaning some fans might not realize that JR has called Steiner Brothers matches before. On his first match he knows Rick’s nickname, making him look like he’s done his homework) as he beats up both Headshrinkers but a double headbutt drops Rick with ease.

A double Stroke of all things sets up what looks to be a Doomsday Device but Rick belly to bellys Fatu out of the air for an INSANE counter. I’ve never seen that before or since and it still looked great. Scott tags himself in but eats another superkick, only to come back with a bad Frankensteiner for the pin at 14:22.

Rating: A-. I like this match more every time I watch it as they were beating the fire out of each other here with some of the stiffest shots you’ll find. The Steiners always worked stiff and the Headshrinkers could go step for step with them. Some of the spots here were amazing with that suplex from the shoulders being a major highlight. Awesome, hard hitting match here which never broke down into a brawl.

Call the Hotline!

Doink the Clown (very evil) has desecrated a bust of Julius Caesar but calls it art. We see Doink attacking Crush with a false arm (with Vince shouting that he took his own arm out of the socket until Savage point out that it’s obviously a cast to shut him up) to set up their match tonight. Doink thinks Crush will be seeing double vision.

Crush vs. Doink the Clown

Crush is a now big power guy from Hawaii in bright purple and orange. Doink has an umbrella with him but Crush knocks it out of his hands and rams the clown face first into the post. Some right hands to the face have no effect on Crush so he grabs a neckbreaker and keeps up the beating. Doink finally gets a break by guillotining him across the top rope. A piledriver gets no cover so Doink rams him into the post. Heenan: “Break the pineapple head!”

The Clown makes the eternal mistake of going up top and jumping straight down feet first, allowing Crush to raise a boot and take over again. Crush clotheslines him to the floor and Doink tries to hide under the ring. Amazingly enough a clown isn’t very good at keeping out of sight. Crush drags him back inside but the referee gets bumped.

It’s time for the head vice (Crush’s finisher where he squeezes his opponent’s head like a vice, making it a very appropriate name) but a second Doink pops up with the arm cast to knock Crush silly. The second Doink hides under the ring and the referee wakes up just in time to count the pin on Crush at 8:27.

Rating: D. And the really good match streak ends at two. This was a bizarre choice for a story as Crush would seem to be ready for a big push but he loses to Doink at Wrestlemania. Now to be fair, Doink is a very interesting character when he’s still all evil. Once he turned face as he was destined to do, there was no way he could be anything more than a joke. There’s certainly something interesting about an evil clown (see the Joker) but unfortunately that wasn’t going to last in 1993.

Another referee comes out and looks under the ring but can’t find anyone.

Some Japanese photographers don’t know about Doink but love Yokozuna.

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Ramon debuted late last year but the crowd is rapidly turning him face. Backlund is an old veteran who is making a nostalgia run and having some good matches despite being in his early 40s and being out of the ring for years. Ever the good sport, Backlund offers a handshake but gets a toothpick to the chest for his efforts. A LOUD Razor chant starts us off as JR hypes up the Hotline. Backlund starts fast by sweeping the leg a few times so Razor punches him in the jaw.

As the match goes on, Savage casually brings up Lex Luger knocking Bret Hart out cold earlier today. So this information has been known all day and it’s just NOW being brought up, an hour into the show? Backlund forearms him down and hooks a nice butterfly suplex, followed by an atomic drop, a high spot for him back in the day. Back up and Bob tries a slam, only to get small packaged for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: D. I guess they haven’t gotten all the filler matches out of their system yet. This was a decent way to showcase Razor but it wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world. Backlund was quite the return story but that’s the best they can do to make Razor look like a big star?

Ad for King of the Ring.

Money Inc. isn’t worried about the Mega Maniacs (Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake with Jimmy Hart, who jumped to yet another team) after crushing Beefcake’s face with their metal briefcase. Hogan has threatened to bankrupt Money Inc. but how do you bankrupt a company with an unlimited credit line? I.R.S. promises to make Beefcake’s face look like a jigsaw puzzle with some missing pieces.

Tag Team Titles: Mega Maniacs vs. Money Inc.

Money Inc is defending and Hogan comes in with a black eye, with explanations ranging from a jet-ski accident (official and most likely story), DiBiase hiring a bunch of people to attack him (storyline story) and Randy Savage punching him in the face over accusations that Hogan was sleeping with Elizabeth when she and Savage were still married (possibly true). Beefcake has a metal mask to protect his face and the team gets a decent but certainly not great reaction.

I.R.S. and Beefcake get things going but the champs are quickly double teaming. DiBiase tries an ax handle to the metal mask and hurts his hand as you would expect. Some rams into the buckle have no effect either. Come on Ted you’re smarter than this. Now we get the tag to Hogan for his first match in a year. He hammers down right hands in the corner, despite having FAR smaller muscles than he did the last time we saw him.

Hogan finally mixes up the offense with a big boot before going back to the right hands. A Piper style poke to the eye is enough to send Money Inc. walking but the referee says if they walk out, the titles change hands. As usual, Hogan has some corrupt official helping him out. Back in again and Heenan gets very close to accusing Savage of having something to do with the black eye.

DiBiase gets in a cheap shot to take over on Hulk, allowing I.R.S. to choke with a tag rope. More choking ensues until we hit the Million Dollar Dream but Hogan seems moderately annoyed by it instead of in any kind of trouble. It’s basically a chinlock with the arm trapped but Savage takes the attention off of it with this gem: “They’re hanging from the rafters……if they had rafters……but I’ll tell you what they have columns and they’re hanging from them!”

Beefcake comes in with his own sleeper to DiBiase for the save as Hogan is actually out from the hold. That’s certainly a new one. Hogan gets up at about nine and the hot tag brings in Beefcake. Well hot is a stretch as the fans don’t seem to care but it’s been a pretty dull match so far. Beefcake cleans house until DiBiase hits him in the back with the metal briefcase.

DiBiase gets smart by taking off Brutus’ mask so Heenan makes face off jokes. A double clothesline puts the champs down but Beefcake puts I.R.S. in the sleeper instead of tagging. DiBiase makes a quick save but the referee gets bumped. The tag brings in Hogan but there’s no one to see it. Hulk comes in anyway and hits both guys with the mask. Jimmy Hart tries to wake up the referee but when that doesn’t work, he turns his jacket inside out to reveal referee stripes and counts the pin to end the match at 18:43.

Rating: D. This was much more long than anything else and the whole thing got stupid at the end. Hogan was WAY past his expiration date at this point and it was pretty clear based on this match. Beefcake wouldn’t wrestle for the company again but naturally Hogan brought him in for the main event of WCW’s biggest show the next year.

Hogan and Beefcake hold up the titles, making them the only two people in the arena stupid enough to think that counts. Another referee comes out and says not quite as Money Inc. wins by DQ. Ever the good losers, Hogan poses to limited cheering but then cracks open the briefcase and gives away the money inside (along with a brick. Why you would need a brick when you have a METAL BRIEFCASE?). So now he’s stealing in addition to looking like a moron with that ending. Hogan is a four time WWF World Champion and now he thinks his manager counting a pin is supposed to change a title? What a hero: a cheating moron.

Singer Natalie Cole gets a nothing interview to say she’s having fun. The CEO of the casino is happy with everything that’s going on.

Mr. Perfect isn’t worried about Lex Luger being a knockout artist with that forearm (which contains a steel plate). He’s been on a roll this week with a hole in one playing golf and he’s been hot at the tables so let’s make it one more win tonight.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Luger is still the Narcissist and comes out with some barely clothed women that have the announcers drooling. They trade wristlocks to start and Perfect shoves the much stronger Luger into the corner. A big running knee lift knocks Luger down and a dropkick sends him to the floor as this is almost all Perfect so far.

Back in and Luger sends him into the buckle but Perfect just kind of staggers around. After that awkward selling, Perfect starts going after the knee and slaps on a spinning toehold. Back up and Perfect’s bad back is sent hard into the buckle as this isn’t exactly taking off. A backbreaker keeps Perfect in trouble and Luger rolls him up in the corner for two but gets caught with his feet on the ropes.

Perfect comes back with a sleeper but gets driven back first into the buckle. At least Luger is focusing on a body part and sticking with it. Perfect finally tries his own worst enemy and catapults Luger into the buckle. It doesn’t quite work the same but maybe the idea scared him. A missile dropkick gets two on Luger but he counters a backslide and shoves Perfect’s feet into the ropes for the surprise pin at 10:56.

Rating: D+. And that’s being generous. This really didn’t work as neither guy could get anything going. Perfect was in a weird place here as he was still talented but didn’t really have a character. Luger was just that forearm but would somehow wind up being the co-top hero in the company in just a few months. It didn’t work for either guy here though and the match was pretty boring.

Luger knocks Perfect out and walks off. Perfect slowly gets up and goes after him but gets jumped by Shawn Michaels to start their summer long feud. This triggers a big argument between Savage and Heenan with Macho Man getting up and pointing his finger in Heenan’s face. Believe it or not, Heenan actually doesn’t run away.

Gorilla previews the rest of the show.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Gonzalez is a 7’8 monster (wearing a full body skin colored spandex suit with muscles drawn on and fur at the shoulders) who was brought in by Harvey Wippleman to replace Kamala, who Undertaker dispatched to end 1992. This is the same story that would be used about thirteen years later when Undertaker feuded with Daivari’s lineup of monsters.

Undertaker comes out in a funeral chariot complete with a vulture for his first cool Wrestlemania entrance. Undertaker, a legitimate 6’10, comes up to Gonzalez’s chest. Some big forearms have little effect but Gonzalez is nice enough to sell an uppercut that clearly missed.

A low blow doesn’t have much effect on Undertaker so he comes back with Old School. Undertaker gets thrown around and we hit a standing chinlock. Gonzalez gets bored and throws Undertaker to the floor and then into the steps. The power of the urn gets Undertaker back to his feet and inside but Gonzalez headbutts him right back down. Some awkward strikes stagger the Giant and he goes down to one knee so Harvey throws in a towel with chloroform to knock Undertaker out but it’s an obvious DQ at 7:34.

Rating: F. This was awful and maybe Undertaker’s worst Wrestlemania match ever. Gonzalez was just terrible and made everyone else look bad too because no one could do anything with someone so big and awkward. On top of that, the ending sets up a rematch instead of just ending this lame feud once and for all here like they should have.

Undertaker is stretchered out and Gonzalez lumbers around the ring. Eventually Undertaker’s music plays and he staggers to the ring to clean house.

Call the Hotline!

Gene, after talking about Heenan going to buy new underwear, shows us a clip of Yokozuna crushing Jim Duggan’s ribs. Yokozuna followed it up by winning the Royal Rumble and then crushing WWF World Champion Bret Hart’s ribs at the contract signing. Enough of that though as Gene brings in Hulk Hogan, who has been talking to Bret and assuring him that all the Hulkamaniacs are in his corner. Since he was attacked last night, Hogan wants Bret to make sure he’s watching everyone around him.

Oh and one more thing: Hogan wants the first shot either at Bret or at “the Jap” if he wins the title. As for a prediction, he thinks the title is staying in the USA in the match between a Canadian and a Polynesian wrestler billed from Japan. As usual, Hulk never was one for the most in depth thinking in the world.

Todd Pettengill (a very stupid interviewer) interviews some frat boys.

WWF World Title: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

The 505lb Yokozuna is challenging and has Mr. Fuji in his corner. The announcers have spent most of the show talking about how Bret is the huge underdog after being knocked out by Luger, sat on by Yokozuna and then just being in trouble against the monster in general. Bret charges across the ring for a running dropkick and some right hands, only to have Yokozuna shove him down and shoulder him out to the floor.

Yokozuna tries to kick the champ while he’s down but Bret grabs the foot and ties him up in the ropes to get the big man down. Bret fires off more right hands and drops a middle rope elbow until the referee breaks Yokozuna free. The big man is up and slams Bret with ease before dropping a huge leg/various other parts on Bret’s face for no cover. The fans chant USA to support the Canadian so Yokozuna chokes him down before switching to a nerve hold.

Back up and Bret gets his feet up in the corner, setting up something like a middle rope bulldog for two. That earns the champ a superkick and another nerve hold to continue boring the crowd. Heenan points out the stupidity of the USA chants as Bret fights up and gets a better middle rope bulldog for another two.

A pair of clotheslines put Yokozuna down for half a second so Bret punches away in the corner. Yokozuna shoves him so hard that the turnbuckle pad is pulled off, only to have Bret ram the monster face first into it. The Sharpshooter actually goes on but Fuji throws salt in his eyes, giving Yokozuna the pin and the title at 8:56.

Rating: D+. They did what they could do here but the story of “Bret is going to get killed” is about as lame of a way to set up a title match as you can get. Bret was hammering away with everything he had but like Gonzalez (albeit a much better version), there’s only so much that could be done here, especially when you’re an average size guy like Hart. This could have been much worse but it still wasn’t much to see.

Hogan is here IMMEDIATELY after the match to plead Bret’s case. You know, like all the other times Bret and Hogan have been such great friends. Due to reasons of extreme overconfidence and stupidity, Fuji is willing to give Hogan a shot RIGHT NOW. Bret gives his blind blessing and we’re off.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Fuji throws salt in Yokozuna’s face by mistake (with the referee just watching) and it’s a clothesline and the legdrop to give Hogan the pin and the title at 28 seconds.

Hogan celebrates as Bret is completely forgotten to end the show. That would be Hogan’s last singles match until early June because he took seven weeks off before coming back to do tag matches with Beefcake against Money Inc. But hey, it’s another title win.

Overall Rating: D. This is actually a tricky one to grade. The show only runs about two hours and forty five minutes and the first fifty minutes are excellent stuff with two good to very good opening matches. I can’t call a show with an opening third that solid a failure by any means so the show gets some big points there.

That being said, the rest of the show goes off a cliff with the best match being the main event, which really isn’t any good and clocks in as the shortest announced Wrestlemania main event in history. Couple that with Hogan sneaking in to take the title in an ending that wasn’t the most popular in the world and you don’t have a great title picture going forward.

The word picture is appropriate here as well as this show doesn’t look like a Wrestlemania is supposed to. Instead of the biggest show of the year, this felt like a random pay per view in the mid to late summer, which actually would have helped it a lot. The outside venue is cool but it feels like a fun show rather than something big and epic like the show at Madison Square Garden or the shows in big stadiums.

Overall this show has too many problems working against it. The atmosphere was a failed experiment but the card didn’t do it any favors. Yokozuna was fine as a monster to be slayed but Hogan wasn’t the choice to do it, at least not two minutes after Yokozuna won the title at Wrestlemania. I’m supposed to be impressed that Hogan beat a tired Yokozuna and had to have salt in Yokozuna’s eyes to do it? That’s not a good end to any show but the fact that it was the end of Wrestlemania made it even worse.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

Doink the Clown vs. Crush

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D+

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

How is this a Wrestlemania?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/16/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-9-wrestlemania-goes-outside/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/18/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-ix-why-would-fuji-do-that/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania IX
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesar’s Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,981
Commentators: Jim Ross, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

We’re into the Monday Night Raw era as things are definitely shifting to a new generation. The main event tonight is Bret Hart defending the title against the new monster known as Yokozuna. Other than that we’ve got Beefcake/Hogan challenging Money Inc. for the tag titles in a match that sounds odd when I type it for some reason. Let’s get to it.

Gorilla Monsoon is host this year, which means we need a new commentator. We’ll get to that in a bit, but first of all let’s acknowledge the theme of the show: the World’s Largest Toga Party. Yeah that’s not going to get stupid at all.

Jim Ross debuts on WWF TV for the first time ever in a surprise jump from the other company. Granted it was about a year or so since JR was last seen but it was still surprising.

Cesar and Cleopatra are introduced to the crowd.

Randy Savage comes out on a sedan with the vestal virgins. Bobby Heenan is brought out riding a camel backwards, which he claims was supposed to be the sedan. Funny bit here.

Intercontinental Title: Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is defending of course and has the debuting Luna Vachon behind him. Tatanka is still undefeated here and would be so until much later in the year. Shawn’s former manager, Sensational Sherri, comes down the aisle to stare at Shawn and presumably be in Tatanka’s corner. Tatanka takes Shawn down a few times to start and they fight over arm control. Shawn comes back with a headlock and climbs the ropes to roll Tatanka down with it for two.

The champion tries it again but gets caught in a belly to back suplex for two this time instead. Shawn goes up again but dives into an armdrag as things pick up a bit. There’s a Flair Flip in the corner and a big chop puts Shawn on the floor. Sherri and Luna get in a staredown and Luna licks the ring post. More chops keep Michaels on the floor as the fans are getting into this.

Back in again and Shawn comes off the top with a semi-botched sunset flip for two but Tatanka comes right back with an atomic drop. A DDT puts Shawn down again and Tatanka works on Shawn’s apparently bad shoulder. Shawn tries a clothesline like an idiot and hurts his own arm again. We hit another armbar but Michaels fights up, only to charge shoulder first into the post.

Back to the armbar followed by a shoulder breaker for no cover by the challenger. A top rope chop to the shoulder has Shawn in even more trouble but a second attempt jumps into the superkick. Since it’s 1993 though that doesn’t end anything so Shawn sends Tatanka out to the floor. The girls get in another staredown but Shawn hits a running clothesline off the apron to take Tatanka out again.

Instead of following up, Shawn yells at Sherri. Since he’s Shawn Michaels though, he still maintains control with a neckbreaker for two. A standing dropkick gets two for Shawn and it’s off to a chinlock. That goes nowhere so Shawn hits a modified victory roll out of the corner for two. The shoulder seems to be fine now. Tatanka counters another victory roll attempt into an electric chair to put both guys down. A very delayed cover gets two for the challenger and it’s time to go on the warpath.

Shawn gets caught in a cross body for two and a slingshot sends him face first into the post for two. The crowd is WAY into this match now. Tatanka’s Papoose To Go (Samoan Drop) is countered into a rollup for two for Shawn but he walks into a powerslam for two. Shawn sends him out to the floor and the fans chant for Sherri. Michaels dives off the apron but slams his head into the steps, knocking himself silly and causing a countout win for the racial stereotype.

Rating: B. If Tatanks wins clean here, it’s a near classic. This was a VERY solid opener with the fans getting completely into the near falls. The shoulder injury being forgotten ten minutes into it hurt things though as I can’t stand a plot point being introduced and then left completely alone. Also Tatanka should have won but it still makes for a fine opener.

Luna lays out Sherri while Tatanka celebrates not winning the title.

The Steiners are ready for the Headshrinkers.

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

This should be solid stuff. The Shrinkers are Samu and Fatu (Rikishi) here. Historic moment: JR calls this match a slobberknocker, unleashing the term on the wrestling world. The Headshrinkers have Afa as their manager, which will be mentioned later. Scott and Fatu start things off and after being shoved by the Samoan, Scott easily takes him down by the legs. A big old Steiner Line flips Fatu inside out but the Headshrinkers take Scott into the corner to work him over.

The Steiners are sent to the floor so they both climb to the top and hit a double Steiner Line to take both Samoans out to the floor. We settle down to Scott vs. Fatu again but it’s quickly off to Rick. Apparently Luna has attacked Sherri at the first aid station. Samu pounds on Rick in the corner and hits a running clothesline, only to be taken down by a running forearm/clothesline. Samu goes face first into the post to absolutely no effect, because he’s Samoan you see.

Back to Scott but Afa gets on the apron for a distraction. Scott charges into a hot shot to send him out to the floor in a NASTY looking bump. Afa cracks his staff over Scott’s back which looked great and sounded even greater. Things settle down a bit and Fatu hits a backbreaker and middle rope headbutt for two on Scott. A spinning kick to the face takes Scott down again but Samu charges into a boot in the corner.

Fatu blocks the hot tag by knocking Scott to the floor where he gets sent face first into the post. In a sweet sequence, Scott tries to ram Fatu’s head into the mat but Fatu pops up and superkicks Scott right back down. A modified Demolition Decapitatior gets two on Scott and let’s hit that nerve hold. Scott fights up and they collide as is common in tag matches. Heenan keeps ripping on JR and Oklahoma as Ross has almost no idea what to make of this kind of sarcasm. That says a lot when he used to work with Jim Cornette.

Back to Samu who goes up top, only to miss a top rope splash. The hot tag brings in Rick but a double headbutt immediately puts him back down. Here’s your awesome spot of the match: Rick gets loaded up in a Doomsday Device position but when Samu dives at him with a cross body, Rick catches him in mid air and powerslams/belly to belly suplexes him off Fatu’s shoulders and down. AWESOME looking move and they hit it perfectly. Scott hits a belly to belly on Fatu but Samu hits a superkick to take him right back down. Out of NOWHERE Scott hits the Frankensteiner for the pin. Nice bump from a guy that big.

Rating: B. I liked this one as much as I liked the opener which is saying a lot. This probably should have kicked the show off as the spots were hitting better and the fans were popping a lot louder, but I can get why they went with a title match. I’m a Headshrinkers fan so seeing them hold their own against one of the best teams ever is a very fun sight. Good match here and that powerslam was great.

Strap yourselves in now people, because it’s ALL downhill from here.

We cut to the back where Doink has desecrated a statue of Julius Caesar. This is when Doink is still the evil clown which had a ton of potential, but they of course had to make him kid friendly because that’s how wrestling works. The idea here is that Doink has been using evil pranks on Crush, including beating him with a prosthetic arm.

Crush vs. Doink the Clown

This is during Crush-A-Mania when he was on the verge of getting the mega push to the stars which would never happen. Crush chases him around the ring to start and slams Doink on the floor before pounding Doink in the face a bit. Doink tries to punch back but Crush no sells everything. Back inside and Crush hits a neckbreaker for no cover. A neck snap over the top keeps Doink down as does a backbreaker. We’re three minutes in and it’s all Crush so far.

As Crush is hitting some Sheamus forearms on the apron, Doink hits a kind of Stunner on the top rope to take over. A few top rope forearms to the back of Crush’s head keeps us in clown control and a lame piledriver gets no cover. Doink actually slams him but goes up top and jumps into a boot to the jaw. A cross body attempt by the Clown doesn’t work as Crush hits a powerslam before clotheslining Doink to the floor.

Doink tries to crawl under the ring but gets hit with a gorilla press back in the ring. Crush puts on the head vice (finisher) but as Doink gets to the ropes, the referee is bumped. The vice goes on again but another Doink comes out from under the ring with the cast. He blasts Crush in the head with it and the original Doink gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was basically a squash until Doink got in some not terrible offense. Again though, this was when Crush was about to get pushed to the moon, so he loses to Doink? The Clown character had a ton of potential, but instead of going with something interesting like the Joker, we got FUN Doink soon after this, because that’s interesting stuff right?

Japanese tourist jokes aren’t funny so here are a bunch of them.

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

This is right before Razor turned face and it’s clear why given how big the pop he gets here is. Backlund offers a handshake and gets a toothpick in the face instead. A LOUD Razor chant opens things up as Backlund is shoved into the corner. Ramon slams him down and stomps away as Savage brings up Lex Luger knocking Bret Hart out cold earlier today.

It comes up out of nowhere in the middle of this match because there’s no reason for this match to take place. Leave it to JR to bring it back to the match as Backlund makes his comeback. A butterfly suplex puts Razor down and there’s Backlund’s atomic drop. That gets no cover though, as Razor grabs a small package to pin the wrestler with a wrestling move.

Rating: D. This was a squash at a Wrestlemania in 1993. Razor would be turning face soon after this while Backlund did nothing at all for a LONG time until he went nuts and actually won the world title. Nothing to see here though and it was clear that the announcers didn’t care about the match at all.

We recap Money Inc. attacking Brutus Beefcake and injuring his face (again) on Raw. Hulk Hogan was watching and came back to save his little buddy. The champions (Money Inc.) says they’ll bankrupt Hogan and Beefcake. Oh and we hear about a black eye that Hogan has from working in the gym the previous night. I’ve heard a bunch of stories over that before, but the most common one I hear is Savage decking him in the eye because he thought Liz had cheated on him with Hogan. The other version (and possibly the real one) is that Hogan had an accident on a Jet-Ski.

Tag Titles: Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Jimmy Hart is with the challengers because of how the champions hurt Beefcake. Hogan and Beefcake clear the ring while the music is still playing as the match begins. The champions stall on the floor for awhile until we get down to Beefcake (in a red/yellow mask) vs. I.R.S. The tax dude immediately goes for the face and it’s off to DiBiase for more of the same. DiBiase hits a middle rope ax handle to the mask and injures himself in the process. Ted continues to act way dumber than he is by ramming the mask into the buckle. So why did the punches work earlier?

Beefcake rams DiBiase’s head into the buckle instead and in the match we should have gotten five years ago, it’s Hogan vs. DiBiase. Ten punches in the corner put Ted down so Hogan pounds on the mat a bit. Off to Beefcake for a slam before it’s back to hogan for more punching. DiBiase ducks low and is immediately punched in the face again. I.R.S. comes in again and is punched by both Maniacs. All challengers so far.

The champions try to walk out but Finkus Maximus (remember the Roman theme) says that if they leave, they lose the titles. They get back in and the fans are chanting for Hogan. Ted goes for the throat to finally take over and I.R.S. chokes away a bit from the floor. More choking by DiBiase ensues before he cranks it up with the Million Dollar Dream. Savage: “They’re hanging from the rafter! Well they would if they had rafters. They have columns here and they’re hanging from them!”

I.R.S. tries to interfere for some reason but it allows Beefcake to come in with his own sleeper and put DiBiase out to break the hold and buy Hogan a breather. Hogan pops up and the double tag brings in Schyster to face Beefcake. An atomic drop puts Ted on the floor but the tax dude gets in a shot to Beefcake’s back to take over. Dibiase comes back in and rips the mask off of Brutus’ face so the champions can work over the face.

Beefcake comes back with a double clothesline out of nowhere but instead of tagging he puts I.R.S. in the sleeper. Ted breaks it up but the referee is bumped in the process. Hogan comes in like a hero and hits both guys with the steel mask but there’s no referee. What else do you do in this situation? You have Jimmy Hart turn his jacket inside out so it has white and black stripes and have him count then CELEBRATE LIKE YOU WON THE FREAKING BELTS. Another referee comes out to explain to Hogan how stupid he is and give Money Inc. the win by DQ.

Rating: D+. The match was ok at best but the ending is so dumb that I can barely comprehend it. I mean…..HOW STUPID CAN HOGAN POSSIBLY BE??? The guy has been around for nearly ten years and he thinks that would actually work? The match was just ok as it was mainly choking and punching for the first half, which is decent but nothing mind blowing. Then the ending sucked the life out of my brain which is normal for Hogan a lot of the time.

Lots of posing ensues but then the Maniacs open Money Inc.’s briefcase. They find tax forms, cash, and a brick. Heenan: “Well you never know when you’re gonna need a brick.” Hogan gives the money away and Heenan is suddenly a huge fan.

Todd Petingill finds Natalie Cole (singer I think) and the owner of Caesar’s Palace who are as riveting as you would expect.

Mr. Perfect says he’s going to solve the Lex Luger puzzle.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

That sounds pretty awesome on paper. Anyway, Luger is the Narcissist at this point and comes out with some women in bikinis with thongs, sending Heenan through the roof. Well over the top of the columns at least. Perfect gets a very solid pop here but he would be used sparingly until he left in the fall. They trade headlocks to start and Luger bails to the corner. Now they trade hammerlocks and Luger bails to the ropes again.

Perfect hits a dropkick to send Luger to the outside as the crowd is staying hot. Back in and Luger starts using the power but Perfect blocks a big boot attempt. There’s the Robinsdale Crunch on Luger’s knee and Perfect cranks on it a bit for fun. We head to the corner for some LOUD chops but Lex whips him into the corner a few times to take over. We head to the floor with Luger ramming the injured back into the apron, followed by a backbreaker in the ring for two.

Perfect fights out of the corner with right hands but Luger scoops his legs and puts his own feet on the ropes for two. Mr. comes back with a nice sunset flip for two but a quick sleeper attempt is broken up. Back up and they slug it out a bit more with Perfect hitting a backdrop to take over. A slingshot sends Luger into the buckle and a forearm to the head gets two. Perfect hits a clothesline and neckbreaker for two each, as does a kind of missile dropkick. Luger wins the fight over a backslide and even though Perfect gets his feet in the ropes, Luger gets the pin anyway.

Rating: C. Decent match here but it never hit the level they were capable of. That ending was actually designed to set up something at the NEXT Wrestlemania which was unheard of at this point in time. Anyway, decent match here but it’s a disappointment due to how good this could and should have been.

Luger knocks him out post match and leaves. Perfect finally staggers after him and the fight starts again, until Shawn Michaels helps beat up Perfect.

Savage yells at Heenan for supporting Luger too much.

Gorilla Monsoon talks about the remaining matches.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Gonzalez is a legit 7’7 and is working for Harvey Wippleman for revenge on Undertaker after Undertaker got rid of Kamala. Taker comes out in a chariot and carrying a vulture. Undertaker literally only comes up to Gonzalez’s chest. Some uppercuts stagger the Giant but he grabs Taker by the throat to stop him cold. Taker climbs to the second rope and grabs Gonzalez by the throat, only to get hit low to stop him again.

Old School staggers the Giant a bit but he comes back with a clothesline to take over. Taker is thrown across the ring and we get a standing chinlock by the monster. The famous one fights up but gets thrown to the outside with ease. Taker is sent into the steps and we head back inside. Gonzalez pounds away a bit more but Taker slugs away, knocking Gonzalez down to one knee. Wippleman throws in a rag, which apparently the announcers can smell a chemical on from twenty feet away in an outdoor arena with over 15,000 people in it. Apparently it’s ether or something, earning Taker a DQ win.

Rating: D-. Gonzalez was AWFUL which really hurt things a lot. The main issue Undertaker had at this point was no one had any idea what to do with him. They just had him fight monsters for years on end which you can only watch for so long. This story would be reused about 12 years later with Undertaker playing Undertaker, Daivari playing Wippleman and Great Khali playing Gonzalez.

Referees check on the unconscious Undertaker as Gonzalez chokeslams a referee. The fans chant for Hogan but a gong goes off and Taker staggers out to beat up the monster.

We recap Jim Duggan being destroyed by Yokozuna. The fat man did the same to Bret Hart as well, setting up this match. In the back, Hogan says he wants the first title shot against either Hart of the Jap. His words, not mine.

Todd Pettingill continues to annoy fans.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Bret is defending against Yoko who won the Royal Rumble. It wasn’t an automatic title shot yet but starting the following year it would be. Bret hits a quick dropkick and pounds away but a single shot knocks the champion away. A big tackle runs Bret over and sends him to the outside but he trips Yoko up to take him down. Bret pounds away but it doesn’t do a lot of damage. Yoko wins a battle of the clotheslines and a big old legdrop crushes the champ’s face.

Off to a nerve hold for a bit but Bret gets his feet up in the corner to block a charge. A middle rope bulldog puts the monster down for two which is a victory in and of itself. Yoko superkicks Bret down and it’s right back to the nerve hold. Bret fights up and makes his comeback, finally knocking Yoko down with a middle rope clothesline. A buckle pad is ripped off somewhere in there and Bret rams him face first into it. Yoko falls on his stomach and Bret gets the Sharpshooter, only to have Fuji throw salt in the champ’s face. That’s actually enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. Bret did what he could but there’s a limit to what you can get out of a big fat guy like this. The ending is pretty lame and the match lasted less than nine minutes. That just doesn’t fit for a Wrestlemania main event but thankfully the rematch the next year would get more time and would be MUCH better.

Hogan runs out to check out Hart, so Mr. Fuji issues a challenge to Hogan for a title match RIGHT NOW. Bret tells Hogan to go get him and the fight is on.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Fuji misses a salt through, clothesline, legdrop, new champion.

Hogan poses a lot to end the show. Yeah that’s how Wrestlemania ends: in 22 seconds.

Overall Rating: D. The opening matches are as good as you’ll find for two straight openers at Mania in a long time, but after that it’s ALL downhill. The ending here was just stupid. First off, pride or whatever, WHY WOULD YOU GIVE A FRESH HULK HOGAN A WORLD TITLE SHOT AFTER YOU JUST WON THE BELT??? On top of that, we had some stupid endings with the tag title match and the Undertaker match, making this even worse. The problem with this show is other than the openers, it isn’t entertaining. I’ve never liked this show and most people don’t either, which is easy to understand.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

Redo: B

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Original: B+

Redo: B

Doink the Clown vs. Crush

Original: D

Redo: D+

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Original: C-

Redo: D

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-

Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: F+

Redo: D-

Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: F+

Redo: D

I actually liked it better this time. Man alive I must have been in a bad mood for the first one.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/16/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-9-wrestlemania-goes-outside/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania 9
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesar’s Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,891
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

This is considered to be one of the weakest Wrestlemanias in history and I think that’s an accurate statement. Looking at the announced card, which was only eight matches long, I only see 2-3 that I would put on a Wrestlemania. Your main event for this evening is Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna, which is ok, but just doesn’t scream WM main event to me.

What amazes me the most about it though was this show was so packed they had to cancel one of the matches: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Kamala. The theme of the show is the world’s largest toga (toga, toga, toga) party. Why does this scream BAD IDEA to me? Seriously, what’s the point behind this? It made the show seem stupid overall, but that’s just me. Anyway, let’s get started.

Our show opens with no National Anthem or America the Beautiful. What a crock already. After that, we see Gorilla Monsoon in a toga. God help me. He is our host for the evening, whatever that means. He welcomes us to the show, and throws it over to….Jim Ross? This was Ross’ debut and I vividly remember being stunned to see him in the WWF as he had been the commentator for WCW my entire life.

Ross runs down the double main event of Hogan and Beefcake vs. Money Inc. for the tag belts and the already mentioned WWF Title match. He throws it to Finkus Maximus, which is something even I couldn’t make up, who introduces Caesar and Cleopatra on an elephant, which Ross gives us a history lesson on. Macho Man is then introduced riding a sedan which is like a couch that’s carried as beautiful women feed him grapes.

Then in one of the funniest scenes in WWF history, Bobby Heenan comes in on a camel, but for some reason he’s riding it backwards. He gets to the broadcast position and is a mess, which is kind of funny. Finally, after almost 10 minutes of intros, it’s time for a match.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Tatanka

Michaels had dumped Sherri since last year but now is accompanied by Luna Vachon, who is proof that not all divas are hot. Tatanka is out next and he has never lost a one on one match. Sherri follows Tatanka out, yet it’s made clear she’s not with him. So they have stalkers now. Hey they match! Tatanka had pinned Shawn twice leading up to this match, once in a singles match and once in a 6 man.

Some of Savage’s comments to Heenan, such as shut up camel breath are just funny to me. There’s the first bell, eleven minutes into the show. The outside look is really cool here. They feel each other out at a rather fast pace to start. Top wristlock goes to Shawn and he follows it up with a headlock. Down to the mat with Shawn totally in control.

Tatanka gets a belly to back to escape and a SWEET counter of a top rope clothesline with an arm drag. Shawn to the floor and the girls have a staredown of awkward proportions. Back in and the stereotype works over Shawn’s arm which is apparently hurt coming into this one. Shawn hits a clothesline but it hurts him even further so it wasn’t worth it at all. Anytime Shawn gets something going he hurts his arm again, this time ramming it into the post.

Bobby: She (Luna) is something. Ross: Yeah what is she? Tatanka gets a shoulder breaker out of nowhere but drops an elbow instead of covering. Top rope chop but still no cover. He goes up again and jumps down into what we would call Sweet Chin Music. Today that would kill a guy and be on a highlight reel for years but here it’s just a momentum changer. Luna and Sherri do nothing of note again during a staredown.

Clothesline from the apron to the floor takes down Tatanka. Shawn yells at Sherri and gets a chinlock for awhile. Modified victory roll gets two as this is getting a lot of time. Another victory roll is countered into an electric chair drop to put both guys down again. Double axe by Shawn gets nothing as Tatanka stereotypes up.

Superkick is blocked and Tatanka gets a top rope cross body for a long two. Slingshot puts Shawn into the post and gets a very close two. Powerslam gets an even closer two. This is getting really good now and Tatanka is sent to the floor. Shawn shoves the referee and Tatanka gets the Papoose to Go for the CHEAP DQ! Dang it that was good stuff and got nearly 20 minutes.

Rating: B+. Very solid match that got the time it needed. If it had a real ending, this would be an automatic A. Tatanka was something interesting. He didn’t lose for his first two years which is an amazing streak, longer than even Goldberg’s. Shawn wasn’t quite up to the level of awesome he would reach but it was coming soon. He benefited a lot from the advent of Raw as it gave him a bigger way to get noticed and to put it mildly, it worked. Well that and Razor Ramon plus a ladder.

Luna beats up Sherri post match.

The Steiners say they’re going to beat the Headshrinkers.

Headshrinkers vs. Steiners

Pretty random tag match here but it works ok I guess. It’s your standard face team vs. heel team so that’s fine. We get the first use of JR’s code saying it’s going to be a slobberknocker, meaning it’s going to be awful from a wrestling standpoint. I was always a Headshrinkers mark for some reason, just always liked them.

Scott and Fatu start us off. Steiners control early on which is expected. Oh I forgot to mention: Fatu of the Headshrinkers is more commonly known as Rikishi. In a NICE looking move, Scott and Rick both go up the same corner and hits stereo clotheslines on the Headshrinkers. Nice one indeed. We get breaking news that Luna attacked Sherri again, and somehow, I’m more interested in the match at hand. What a stunner.

Afa rams his guys’ heads together to wake them up a bit. The referee is Bill Alfonso, who you might know as Fonzie from ECW. He was RVD’s overly hyper manager. Samu gets a splash in the corner and Rick just drills him with a clothesline. Afa blasts Scott with what would become known as a kendo stick. Savage gets upset, Heenan doesn’t see the Headshrinkers cheating which is one of his trademarks.

Heenan says he can’t see right with sunglasses on and JR says he saw it too. Heenan says JR is wrong because he’s from Oklahoma. JR’s reaction is priceless. Out to the floor for more pounding on White Thunder. Scott slams one of their heads into the mat and gets kicked in the jaw with a sweet kick for it.

Heenan says his head is like Prudential. Savage: I don’t know what that means. Bobby: It means the rock is hard. Savage: I didn’t ask you Heenan. The commentary for this match is light years ahead of the match itself. Samu gets a dropkick to show off a bit. Off to the nerve hold now, a Samoan trademark. Heenan says Oklahoma is a suburb of Kentucky, which offends JR for some reason.

Samu goes up but misses the big headbutt and there’s the tag to Rick and an eruption. He rams their heads together which is of course, STUPID. Dude learn your stereotypes. Headshrinkers hit a double team version of the move we call the Stroke, leading to one Headshrinker putting Rick on their shoulders for what we would call a Doomsday Device. In a freaking SWEET counter, Rick catches Fatu in the air from on top of Samu’s shoulders in a belly to belly suplex. Looked just absolutely sick.

Back to Scott who nearly kills Fatu with a belly to belly overhead. Scott suddenly remembers he’s better than Rikishi and hits a Frankensteiner, which might be the most impressive move that anyone has ever regularly done, to get the pin. It’s a standing hurricanrana by a guy of Scott Steiner’s size. Think about that.

Rating: B+. I liked this match a lot. Both teams are very solid and some of the stuff they did in this match was simply great. Top level stuff here which surprises me greatly. The Steiners are just scary good when they’re on their game and this is no exception. That powerslam/suplex spot by Rick is absolutely amazing.

Doink the Clown is a screwed up individual. He dresses up a Caesar statue in clown makeup and we get a recap of Doink vs. Crush. Doink also says Crush will be seeing double vision.

Crush vs. Doink the Clown

Crush had one of the best looks of anyone I’d seen from this era. He seriously could have been something special if he’d cared even a little bit at all. He was a decent wrestler with good size and power. I’ve never gotten why he didn’t pan out. Definitely a solid face challenger if nothing else. At about 6’6 and over 300lbs, he was quick and very strong. What’s not to like here?

Doink runs around the ring to start but gets caught by the big Hawaiian that I think Savage wants to make sweet love to down by the pond. Crush beats the holy goodness out of Doink for the majority of the match with basic power stuff. His finishing move was a head crushing move which was always kind of odd but it worked I guess.

The clown gets a guillotine clothesline and starts a comeback here, but it doesn’t mean much. In case I wasn’t clear here, Crush is the face in this match. A pretty weak looking Piledriver keeps Crush down for a bit and then he’s sent into the post. Doink jumps into a boot though and here comes the big man.

Doink tries to hide under the ring but gets caught. Back in the ring, Crush uses his head vice finisher on Doink but the ref got bumped. Another Doink comes out and hits Crush in the back with a cast then in the head. This leads to a pin for the real Doink. They check under the ring, where the other Doink came from and went to. They check and no Doink.

Rating: D. A Squash leading to a bad ending means not a good match. This feud went nowhere for the most part and I think it went on until at least the King of the Ring. Crush would soon start a big push which stalled like no other for some reason. Still though, this was really bad.

Todd Pettingil talks to some Japanese fans and after the WWF makes bad racial jokes, Razor Ramon is headed to the ring.

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

It’s total filler with no backstory but it’s Backlund in his first Mania match which is impressive since he’s in his early to mid 40s. Razor is the heel here but to put it mildly, he’s very popular. And yet Backlund would be the next guy to win the world title.

Backlund offers a handshake to start but Razor throws a toothpick instead. This is before he had gone insane if you didn’t get that. BIG Razor chant starts up and of course isn’t acknowledged. Backlund keeps tripping him up and does his stupid little dance. I never got the point of that at all but he always did it.

Razor stomps away after a slam. Bret Hart was knocked out cold by Luger at the Mania brunch today. This wasn’t ever addressed after this for some reason. Backlund gets a butterfly suplex which was kind of impressive. Atomic drop, his former finisher, gets no cover. In a great ending, Razor gets a small package out of nowhere to end it. Heenan gets in a great line: he beat the wrestler with a wrestling move.

Rating: C-. Not great but not awful, the ending gives this a decent grade. It’s not terrible and the ending surprised me. Razor had debuted just after Mania 8 and was pushed to the moon. He even got a title shot at the Rumble this year in a forgotten match. The breaking news during this match of Bret being knocked out earlier in the day leads to nothing. The last line of he beat the wrestler with wrestling was great.

In the back we see Gene with Money Inc. The feud they’re involved in at the moment began on a Monday Night Raw (The first Mania that can be said at as the show debuted about 3 months prior to this) when DiBiase tried to hit Beefcake with a briefcase.

Beefcake had been legitimately huge in a parasailing accident over a year ago and his face was badly injured. This led to a great Heenan line of, “It serves him right. His face has hurt me for years.” This attack led to Beefcake getting his friend Hulk Hogan to return to help him.

Also Jimmy Hart jumped from Money Inc to Hogan and Beefcake. Lastly, the night before the show, Hogan was injured, resulting in huge bruises around his eye. Now what really happened to him?

According to the storyline, DiBiase hired a bunch of people to attack him. The WWF said he was hurt in a jetski accident. The common theory in wrestling circles though is Savage thought Hogan and Liz (his real wife) were having an affair and beat the tar out of Hogan. Believe what you will.

Tag Titles: Money Inc. vs. Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake

We get red smoke and Heenan says that can only mean one person. Then Jimmy Hart walks out. Just made me chuckle a bit. This is Hogan’s first match in a year and the pop kind of sucks. It’s big, but not mind blowing. The heels jump the heroes before the bell but Hogan and Beefcake fight them off with the music playing which always makes me mark out like crazy. There’s just something sweet about that.

We get to the real match which is actually quite good. I think just about everyone expected Hogan and Beefcake to somehow take the belts here. Money Inc. had absolutely dominated the tag division for over a year at this point so they were seen as very legit. The champions stall forever to get us started. That’s about what you would expect no?

Hogan’s eye looks terrible. IRS vs. Beefcake start us off. The champions beat him down and tag in and out but for some reason they don’t go after the face that much at all. IRS tries to hit him in the face like a very stupid man indeed. Beefcake takes over and off to Hogan who gets ten punches in the corner on the Million Dollar Man. It’s about five years too late but I guess it’s better than nothing.

More fast tagging by the challengers and Hogan gets a double axe off the middle rope to DiBiase who is getting destroyed here. They clear the ring again as this is one sided after a few minutes of the champions winning early on. The champions try to leave and we get the ten count thing like we did last year I think. Scratch that as it was at Summerslam.

Hogan vs. DiBiase again. Good old fashioned cheating has Money Inc right back in control though. Hogan does what he does best: gets his ass kicked. LONG Million Dollar Dream puts him down but he shakes his finger to get back up. He must be in that thing for two minutes or so. Beefcake comes in to put a sleeper on DiBiase to drive Heenan crazy.

Why does everything seem to go into slow motion during a Hogan match? It takes like a minute and a half to get the hot tag to Beefcake. IRS comes in as well and a cheap shot gives the champions the advantage again. Beefcake’s protective mask gets ripped off and his face gets beaten into oblivion which is always a good thing. Love him or hate him, the guy bumps like a master.

Beefcake finally gets a sleeper on IRS but DiBiase breaks it up causing the ref to go down. Hogan comes in and cleans house leading to a double cover. Jimmy Hart turns his jacket inside out, which just happens to be black and white striped in the biggest coincidence of ALL time (you have to say ALL time at any WM. It’s the law) and apparently they think that’s good enough to make him a referee.

Some pest of a referee comes out and ruins our celebration saying that there’s a DQ as Hogan used Beefcake’s metal mask to knock out Money Inc. Jimmy Hart beats up the other referee and we get Hogan’s music. Post match, Hogan poses and they steal IRS’ briefcase, which contains a brick and money.

Supposedly the brick caused it to hurt a lot worse, because of course hitting someone WITH A SOLID METAL BRIEFCASE didn’t hurt enough. There’s also money in it which Hogan gives to the fans. This literally goes on well over 5 minutes.

Rating: C+. This is a good tag match which is absolutely stunning in its own right. Hogan put on a great performance here as did Brutus. Money Inc was as great as ever and it boils down to a solid match. The main thing killing it was the ending. I mean REALLY?

Hogan hits has Jimmy get the pin and he celebrates? Dude, come the heck on now.It was really the best option, but I still hate it. This match works for one simple reason: it’s nearly 20 minutes long. Both faces get beaten down and we get a double comeback. There’s very little missing from it actually.

Mr. Perfect says he’ll break Luger’s winning streak.

Mr. Perfect vs. Lex Luger

The main perk here is Luger’s entrance with four chicks holding mirrors in gold thongs. Not bad at all. This sounds awesome on paper if nothing else. Luger has knocked out everyone he’s faced so far with the metal plate in his forearm. They fight over a wristlock to start and it’s a standoff. Big shot by Perfect and a knee lift sets up a dropkick and Luger hits the floor.

We talk about baseball as Heenan tries to explain the whole knockout thing and he says Savage knows a thing or two about baseball. That’s very true as he played in some minor leagues for White Sox, Reds and Cardinals organizations. Quite an athlete indeed. Perfect works on the knee which is smart as he can’t get knocked out from there.

LOUD chop by Perfect as he has controlled for the vast majority so far. As is my custom he gets reversed on a hard whip into the corner to give Luger the control. He gets a shot with the loaded arm into the back of Perfect to really take over. Backbreaker puts Perfect down even longer.

Perfect can’t keep anything going and Luger gets a cover with his feet on the ropes for two which Heenan blasts to no end. Powerslam gets two. Sunset flip gets two for Perfect and then hooks a sleeper for all of 2 seconds. Perfect keeps getting pin attempts but can’t get more than two on them. A slingshot puts luger into the buckle for two.

Missile dropkick gets a long two as Luger gets his foot on the rope. No heat at all on that either. They fight over a backslide and Luger leans forward enough to put Perfect’s feet in the ropes so that he can’t kick out for the pin. Post match Luger knocks him out with the forearm.

Rating: C-. Long and at least passable, but I couldn’t stand Luger’s gimmick at the time. The forearm was just a dumb way to end every single match and this is no exception. This was ok but it was really spotty at times and it never got into a flow at all. I’ve seen worse though.

Perfect goes looking for Luger. And for once he finds him and the fight is on again. Shawn jumps Perfect, starting their summer long feud.

Gorilla pops up for no reason at all other than to tell us what two matches are left.

We recap Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzales. Undertaker feuded with Kamala in the fall and beat him. Harvey Whippleman, Kamala’s manager said he would get revenge, so at the Royal Rumble he brought out Gonzalez, who boardered on 7’8. He beat the tar out of Taker and eliminated him, leading to this match.

The feud doesn’t end here as it would finally be settled at the Survivor Series in a Rest in Peace match, which meant No DQ. In case you’re wondering where you’ve heard this story before, it’s THE EXACT same thing that happened with Muhammad Hassan, which led to Mark Henry who combined to play the role of Kamala and then the Great Khali as Gonzalez.

They had a manager that wanted revenge on Taker, then Taker got beaten up by them, then won a no rules match. That’s why old fans didn’t like the Taker/Khali feud: we knew exactly what was coming and we were exactly right.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

This is the first Wrestlemania entrance for Undertaker where he’s brought out in a chariot with a vulture on his shoulder which was REALLY cool for its time and is still awesome today. This should sum up how big Gonzalez was: Taker is a big old dude and he comes up to Gonzalez’s chest. Clubbing blows get him nowhere and here comes Taker.

Gonzalez chokes Taker who gets on the second rope to choke back but gets a low blow for his trouble down in his little demons. A low blow is no sold and we go to School (In 1993 the School wasn’t old yet). This was in that really weird period that stretched to about 1996 when Foley got there where they had no idea what to do with Undertaker so they just had him fight giants.

Giant chokes Taker down until the Urn goes up into the air. Taker goes into the steps on the floor as it’s ALL Gonzalez. Heenan proclaims him dead and almost has a heart attack when Taker is like boy I’m the Undertaker and just stands up and keeps beating on Gonzalez. Taker beats him down before Harvey throws in a cloth covered in chloroform which puts Taker down but it’s a DQ anyway. Yep this is bad.

Rating: F+. The match itself was just bad as there was one simple flaw: Gonzalez was just terrible. He was too big to be able to properly do anything in the ring and it showed badly here. It’s the only thing close to a blemish on Taker’s Mania record and that’s a shame. The idea that the commentators could smell a small rag in an open area like that is ludicrous to say the least, especially after all of 5 seconds of it being out.

Taker stays down for a long time with Gonzalez standing over him in triumph. They stretcher him out which isn’t something you see every day. The fans chant for Hogan for a bit, but then a gong rings. Today that would blow the roof off the place (despite there being no roof here) but here it only gets a solid pop. He staggers out and beats the fur off of Gonzalez which makes me wonder: WHY IN THE WORLD DID THEY DO THE DQ ENDING???

Gene recaps the feud with Hart and Yoko, and then Hulk Hogan makes sure he has the spotlight at the end of the show as he has to talk about how he’s in Bret’s corner. Oh and he calls Yokozuna a Jap.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Yoko wins this shot based on winning the Rumble. When you look back, there was absolutely no doubt who was going to win here. The idea is that Bret has no chance and they’ve spent the entire show telling us that Bret has no chance. Guess what happens in the match.

The problem with this match is very simple: Yoko is too fat for Bret to do much with. Bret’s offense is completely unbelievable here and that’s not a knock on him as no one for the most part could do much against Yoko. That’s also not a knock on Yoko as he was a decent big man (bring it on Irish).

Bret is sent to the floor after a nice attack to start but it’s clear he’s going to be in trouble. He ties Yoko’s legs in the ropes and gets him down so he can hammer away. Savage wants him to cover but is corrected by Heenan in a bizarre moment. Clothesline takes Bret down almost as soon as Yoko gets to his feet. Leg drop half kills Bret for no cover. The fans chant USA for their Canadian champion.

Bret gets a boot up for a BIG pop and a bulldog/jump on his back gets two. Side kick puts Bret right back down as this is bordering on a squash so far. Off to the nerve hold now which is basically a way to waste some time, which in a 9 minute match is rather stupid. Oh and all of Bret’s fans are Hulkamaniacs. Heenan points out the stupidity of the USA chants and is ignored. Bret gets in all the offense he can which is more or less getting him nowhere.

FINALLY he gets something as the buckle is exposed and Yoko’s head goes into it, sending him down to his stomach. Bret puts on a shockingly passable sharpshooter and the crowd is shocked. Mr. Fuji then throws salt into Bret’s eyes allowing Yoko to pin him for the title. Now let’s break down why this ending is so bad. Bret gets the sharpshooter on after Yoko shows no sign of his knees being hurt by Bret’s offense on them. I’ll let that go though as it’s a solid move that would hurt enough for a quick submission.

Fuji has done almost nothing all match. Bret sees him right in front of him as he takes FOREVER to get the salt out and throw it. Are you telling me Bret couldn’t have, I don’t know, CLOSED HIS EYES??? The referee sees Bret holding his eyes, sees the cloud from the thrown salt and sees Fuji holding a package of salt and thinks nothing of this, and to top it off, salt in the eyes is enough to knock Bret out for a pin? Come on now.

Rating: D+. The size difference here was too much, the time was bad, and the finish was insulting to my intelligence. The wrestling is ok, but just barely. Bret fights valiantly for the full nine minutes of this match and yes you read that right. That’s the biggest issue most people have with this match and this Wrestlemania. The biggest match was less than 10 minutes long.

BUT WAIT!!!

Hulk Hogan comes out because he can’t handle a *gasp* young and talented guy taking the spotlight or something evil like that, so he explains to Fumbles McWhoops our referee what happened and apparently Fuji has match making abilities now as tells Hogan that Yoko will put the belt on the line right now. Bret points to the ring which apparently means go for it.

Hulk slides in and we’re off to the races one more time. The fans are happy, but looking back this is beyond stupid. WHY would Fuji put the newly won title on the line against the greatest giant killer of all time after Yoko has had no rest while Hogan has rested for about half at least? And people wonder why the business was in so much of a hole as it was around this time.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Yoko attacks Hogan as he slides in then holds him for more salt. Hogan ducks, nails Fuji, clotheslines Yoko, drops the leg and wins his fifth title. No rating of course.

Hogan poses with the title as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: F+. This show is truly bad and the main reason behind that is the ending. Hulk Hogan had absolutely no need to come in and steal the spotlight all over again. I don’t care how big of a Hulkamaniac you are, and I’m a huge one, but there is no justification for that whatsoever.

Let Yoko leave with the belt and do this on Raw the next night. Aside from that, the rest of the matches are ok at best. There’s a few watchable matches here and there but there’s no reasoning to sit through the rest of the show for them. Wrestlemania isn’t supposed to be something you need to fast forward through to get to the decent stuff. BIG recommendation to avoid here as this might be the worst WM of all time.

 

 

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