It’s the night after Backlash and Steve Austin is still WWF Champion. The big story other than that was the stuff that happened after the main event. Stephanie was sent to a waiting limo but the driver was the Undertaker. In other words, we’ve got a huge moment coming tonight which happens to be one of my favorite moments ever on Raw. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Vince knocking Shane out and inadvertently keeping the title on Austin.

The Stooges and a disturbed Vince get out of a limo.

Opening sequence.

Here’s The Rock to get things going. After saying FINALLY, Rock says he has to give Austin respect when it’s due. Therefore, Austin will forever be the biggest piece of trailer park trash that ever walked God’s green earth. Rock gave Austin the beating of his life last night but now he has a problem: a 200lb sack of monkey waste called Shane McMahon. He told Shane not to get involved…and here are Shane with the Corporation.

Shane gets in Rock’s face and blames Rock for wasting too much time last night being the Rock instead of pinning Austin. Now Rock stands in front of him as a loser. Those are grounds for Rock to remove his sunglasses and threaten to do something very uncomfortable to Shane with the brahma bull horns.

They’re about to go but Rock has to deal with the Corporation. After punching HHH and Chyna, Boss Man gets in a cheap shot with the nightstick and they’re all on the Rock. Shane fires Rock from the Corporation, basically cementing his face turn. The Corporation leaves but Rock challenges Shane to a fight later tonight. Shane says it’s on and the fans are even more into the Rock now.

Pat Patterson suggests Vince call the cops. Vince says no because he wants to do this Undertaker’s way. He has some papers that Undertaker has demanded and says he has no other option. After a break, Vince and the Stooges are waiting on Undertaker to call.

The Corporation gives Shane a pep talk. He wants a Rock jersey and HHH suggests the name The Crock.

Brood vs. X-Pac/Kane

Non-title. JR plugs a title match on the upcoming Smackdown special this Thursday but won’t say what channel it’s on. Edge spinwheel kicks X-Pac down to start and sidesteps a charge in the corner. Gangrel comes in and hammers away before getting two off a powerslam. X-Pac gets a boot up in the corner and the hot tag brings in Kane. The top rope clothesline flattens Gangrel and Christian is dragged in from the floor. A chokeslam is enough to pin Edge.

Post match the Brood’s red lights come on and Kane gets a blood bath. Kane chokeslams X-Pac into the crowd because he was the only in sight when the lights came back on.

Vince’s phone rings and we go to a break. Back with a recap of the phone call and of course we can hear everything Undertaker says. Vince says Undertaker can have what he wants: controlling interest of the WWF. Undertaker threatens Vince with hurting Stephanie if Vince screws with him. He calls Stephanie his soul mate and tells Vince to bring the documents to a loading dock near a hotel. One more thing: he wants Austin to deliver the documents. Vince says he can’t do that but Undertaker calls that Vince’s problem and hangs up.

Here’s Austin for an interview with Michael Cole. Michael asks about Austin overcoming the odds but Austin tells him to get out of the ring. Austin says he beat Rock on his own and that’s all he has to say about that. Cue Vince before Austin can go any further and Steve looks very confused. Vince asks Austin for help with the Undertaker situation and Austin chuckles a bit.

Austin says he’s got his own problems and doesn’t really care what happens to Vince and his daughter. The boss pleads his case and Austin relishes the fact that Vince needs him. He makes Vince says he needs him but Austin brings up their war over the last year plus. Based on that, Vince is on his own tonight.

Val Venis vs. D’Lo Brown

We look at Heat from last night where Nicole Bass said she wanted to sleep with Val. Brown runs in before Val can get in a catchphrase but Venis goes after the arm to take over. That goes nowhere as Brown takes him to the mat for a legdrop and two. Venis comes back with a slam but gets crotched going for the Money Shot. A superplex gets two for Brown but Val grabs a quick Russian legsweep. He loads up some grinding but Bass comes out for a distraction, allowing Brown to hit the Sky High for the pin.

Rating: D. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere and this was more about the story than anything else. Bass was there as a freak show act and the announcers treated her as nothing else. Nothing to the match here and both guys are capable of having so much better than this mess.

Brown’s valet Ivory goes after Bass for revenge from Bass beating her up on Heat and it doesn’t go well.

Big Show thinks Austin should help Vince.

Billy Gunn is coming for HHH to avenge X-Pac.

HHH vs. Billy Gunn

Gunn gets stomped down in the corner but comes back with a dropkick and right hands. A leg drag of all things put Gunn down and HHH has a target. The knee is wrapped around the post and a chop block has Gunn in even more trouble. HHH slowly stomps on the knee and yells at the crowd a lot. There’s a Figure Four with HHH holding the ropes but Gunn finally rolls over to escape. Gunn makes a comeback with right hands followed by a big powerslam for two. They head to the floor where Chyna LOUDLY posts Gunn, drawing out Road Dogg to get in Chyna’s face. A Pedigree ends Gunn.

Rating: D+. Slow match here but HHH looked good and evil for the most part. His push is coming and going after his old DX friends is a good way to get him ready. The feud hasn’t been the most interesting in the world but it’s there to set up something much bigger in the future. Gunn was his usual self here.

Shane whispers something to Boss Man.

X-Pac is looking for Kane.

Mankind/Big Show vs. Test/Big Boss Man

Mankind beat Big Show in a boiler room brawl last night but Show saved him from an attack by Boss Man/Test. Test hammers on Mankind to start but drops to the mat, allowing Mankind to score with a legdrop. Off to the Boss Man for nothing of note before Test comes back in. Mankind nails him in the back of the head to knock him into the corner but Boss Man doesn’t look interested in tagging.

Not that it matters as he tags himself in a few seconds later. Boss Man hammers away in the corner but rams heads with Mankind to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in Big Show, sending Boss Man running over to Test. That’s fine with Show as he calls for the chokeslam but Boss Man hits Show low. Big Show hits a jumping double clothesline to take both of them down, allowing Mankind to hit the double arm DDT on Test, followed by the Mandible Claw for the win.

Rating: D+. The fans were into the good guys but the match was sort of a mess. At the end of the day, Test and Boss Man weren’t the most interesting guys in the world at this point and it wasn’t much of a match. Mankind looked good out there and Big Show getting the hot tag to clean house is something that will always work.

Test and Boss Man get in each others’ faces post match and Boss Man hits him with the nightstick.

Vince is waiting with the documents.

X-Pac is STILL looking for Kane.

Bob Holly beats up Al Snow and demands a rematch for the Hardcore Title.

We go to a black and white scene at the Cleavage house. Beaver Cleavage (formerly Mosh of the Headbangers) doesn’t like his breakfast but his mother offers her some of his milk. It’s as creepy as it sounds.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Godfather

Non-title again. Before the match Jarrett asks to make it a title match, but Godfather says Debra has to be a Ho if he wins. Apparently it’s on and this is now a title match.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Godfather

Godfather, in a long sleeve golden shirt, runs Jeff over to start and gets two off a legdrop. Jeff comes back by sending Godfather into the ropes for a running crotch attack to the back of the head. Val Venis comes out and hits on Debra, drawing out Nicole Bass to chase Venis off. The distraction allows Godfather to roll Jeff up for the pin to retain.

Owen Hart gets Debra out of there, even though she seemed to like the idea of being a Ho.

Vince is doing exactly what he was doing the last time we checked in on him.

Terri and Jacqueline are about to have their way with Meat (Shawn Stasiak). This is set to what would become Sexual Chocolate Mark Henry’s music.

Bradshaw vs. Ken Shamrock

This is fallout from the Acolytes attacking Shamrock last night. Shamrock comes out carrying a ball bat but Farrooq jumps him from behind. Test comes out for a save and the Acolytes bail. Shamrock and Test look at each other in a sign of respect. Shamrock destroys some stuff with the bat. No match.

Shane McMahon vs. The Rock

Rock hammers away to start and throws Shane into the corner. This brings out the Posse who are easily dispatched as the match is thrown out.

HHH comes out and gets the better of Rock but Chyna makes the save. The fans chant for Rock but the numbers are too much for him.

Vince leaves the garage.

The Ministry drags Stephanie, wearing a long black dress, into the building. Paul Bearer is carrying a big book.

Here’s X-Pac to call out Kane. He looks at the entrance but gets jumped from behind by Owen Hart and Jeff Jarrett. The lights go out and Kane makes the save. X-Pac asks Kane what his problem is and gets chokeslammed too. Kane carries his buddy off.

The Ministry comes out with Stephanie tied to Undertaker’s symbol. They carry it into the ring and lay the symbol against the ropes as she screams for help. Undertaker says this is on Vince’s shoulders and Austin has shown his true colors. Bearer opens his book and reads what sounds like the opening of a marriage ceremony. We are here today to join Stephanie and Undertaker in holy wedlock but Stephanie shouts NO over and over.

Ken Shamrock runs out with the ball bat but the Acolytes take him down, allowing Viscera to splash him. We cut to the back where Shane is telling the Corporation to not come out yet. Bearer continues reading as Big Show comes out and nails the Acolytes and Viscera, only for Undertaker to nail him with the ball bat. The rest of the Ministry hammers Show on the floor as Bearer announces the union. He says to kiss the bride and HERE HE COMES.

Austin charges down the aisle and runs over Mideon before slugging it out with Undertaker. Austin finds a chair and NAILS Bradshaw in the head. Viscera and Mideon take even harder chair shots and the Ministry runs off. Austin looks at Stephanie and unties her from the symbol. Stephanie hugs Austin as Vince finally comes out. The father and daughter hug as Vince thanks Austin to end the show.  I love that moment as it’s a hero standing up against evil not because of who he’s helping, but because it’s the right thing to do.  That’s basic storytelling and it will always work.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a show where it was all about the stories with the wrestling being there to fill in time. Tonight we had a surprising moment in Austin and Vince’s relationship, the Ministry showing how evil they could be and making Undertaker the top heel in the company, and Rock turning face in a move that would last for years. They did a lot of heavy lifting tonight and things would change even more in the coming weeks. The insanity is only getting started though.

Here’s the Smackdown pilot if you’re interested.

Stephanie opened the show and I need to get this out of the way first: she looked GREAT on Monday with the dress showing off her figure very well. She’s been playing up her sexuality just a bit lately and it really does work for her. I’m not saying she’s Trish Stratus, but she has a really pretty face and can rock a tight dress with a very expensive body.

Anyway the point of the segment was she brought out Vickie to fire her but gave Vickie one more chance: if Vickie can beat Stephanie later in the night, Vickie can keep her job. Again, Stephanie was on fire here with how evil and vindictive she was but had that slight hint of a smile and sass to it that made the whole thing that much better. Her voice when she made Vickie beg was perfect and totally fit her character.

One thing though: Vickie said she’d do it because the one name more respected in wrestling than McMahon is Guerrero. I legitimately laughed and said are you serious when I heard her say that. In what world outside of El Paso does ANYONE believe that’s true? The Guerreros were a regional/midcard act until Eddie made them a big deal in the 90s and 2000s and their reputation would be nowhere near what it is if Eddie was still alive. To suggest that the Guerreros are on the level of the Harts for example is completely ridiculous.

The Usos and Wyatts traded singles wins in matches less than two minutes each. There’s not much to say about this.

Lana and Rusev insulted some Washington DC landmarks. I’m always a fan of things that are filmed on location as you can only have so much atmosphere in an arena.

Naomi beat Alicia Fox in a glorified #1 contenders match. The notable part of the match was Cameron on commentary as the MOST ANNOYING PERSON EVER. I really hope it’s a new character for her as she was every stereotype of a reality TV “star” that you could think of rolled into one. She spent the whole match babbling about how people are talking about her and that’s all that matters. Thankfully Paige shrugged all this off and held up the title to Naomi, asking if she wanted it. Simple idea and it worked. Paige is another girl that is better looking every time I see her, especially with that smile.

Bo Dallas beat Titus O’Neil in the same match that Bo has had since he debuted. It’s still working but he needs to move forward before it goes bad.

HHH announced the entrants in the Money in the Bank briefcase ladder match which had no one out of the ordinary listed. He put Rollins over as the favorite before RVD came out to trade some insults with Seth. A match followed with Seth winning via DQ when Ambrose interfered. The thing I thought the most out of all this was how bored I am with RVD. You get the exact same match out of him every single time and it’s really hard to care about him anymore. The one good thing is he’s putting a lot of people over and the matches aren’t bad. Uninteresting but not bad.

After the match Ambrose said that he had to be put into the ladder match or he’d just wreck the whole pay per view. There’s something awesome about that but more importantly, think about Ambrose for a second. Can’t you picture him interfering in every single match and then really screwing up the ladder match just because he could? That’s a very valuable kind of character to have: one that talks a big game but you could totally picture him doing it.

After a break, Rollins asked for Ambrose to be put in the match and HHH was totally cool with it. This was slightly spoiled for two reasons. One: it was pretty freaking obvious, and two: the original graphic had one more slot than had already been filled.

Bad News Barrett beat Dolph Ziggler to retain the Intercontinental Title in a very solid match. Ziggler looked good and Barrett showed that he can go in the ring. I have zero problem with thirteen minute matches between two talented guys for the midcard title every week. Make the thing the wrestler’s title again like it was back in the golden days.

Vickie came out for her match to Eddie’s music but the match was turned into a mud pit match, meaning the first person to go into the mud would lose. Stephanie sent Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes and Layla to do her dirty work but Vickie threw all of them into the mud instead. Stephanie hit her in the back to send Vickie into the mud, then did a PERFECT imitation of Vince to fire her. She followed it up with a very appealing little dance while singing the goodbye song, only to realize that Vickie had nothing left to lose. Stephanie went into the mud and Vickie did Eddie’s shimmy to leave on a high note. This was the perfect way for her to go out and I smiled way more than I expected to.

Stardust sang When You Wish Upon A Star, prompting Goldust to say he’s the normal one now. Another funny bit.

Jack Swagger beat Kofi Kingston in a warmup match for the ladder match. Nothing to see here and no one buys either having a chance at winning the briefcase either.

Alberto gave one of the best promos of his WWE career when he talked about his success in Money in the Bank. Cesaro came in and stared him down while Heyman did the talking. Better than expected here.

Big E. beat up Damien Sandow as Abraham Lincoln as the stupid gimmick continues. Post match Big E. imitated a black preacher while talking about how amazing America was…..only to be laid out by Rusev. Again.

Cena did a Cena promo about Sunday.

The main event was another 4-3 handicap match and was basically the same match from Smackdown, meaning it wasn’t anything great but served its purpose.

Post match Kane was added as the eighth man to the ladder match but got laid out by Reigns to end the show.

This was an interesting week for Raw as some of the stuff was good but nothing on it was required viewing. After three hours, I had the same interest in the pay per view that I had going in and nothing made me want to watch on Sunday any more than I already did. The show wasn’t bad, but it didn’t need to exist for the most part. Stephanie in that dress was a very nice touch though.

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It’s the go home show for Money in the Bank and the big story tonight is the reveal of the rest of the roster for the contract ladder match. Other than that it’s likely going to be the usual go home show, with a lot of speeches about why everyone will win and not have a lot of other development. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Stephanie in a very tight pink and black dress to open things up. She says that as owner of this business, she can’t stand gross negligence. Vickie Guerrero couldn’t get her a simple cup of coffee, so Vickie needs to get out here and face the consequences. Vickie comes out looking terrified and says she knows Roman Reigns spiked the coffee. Finally, someone watches the show.

Stephanie is still annoyed though because Reigns was the one thing that Vickie was supposed to avoid. Somehow Vickie screwed up and allowed Roman to get into the title hunt and Stephanie gets in a plug for the ladder match. Stephanie says Vickie has been riding Eddie’s coattails for nine years. She couldn’t be a Diva so they made her a GM, but Vickie couldn’t even do that right.

Vickie doesn’t deserve the same respect Eddie got so Stephanie has no choice. Guerrero offers to beg and the fans chant NO. Stephanie tells her to beg on her knees and Vickie does just that. The boss says stop humiliating yourself because you have one more chance: win your match tonight or get fired. Vickie wants to know who she would have to face and of course Stephanie is the opponent. Stephanie is about to fire her but Vickie gets some courage and says the Guerrero name is more respected than the McMahons. The match is on.

Jimmy Uso vs. Luke Harper

The Family now has some I believe organ version of He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands for their entrance. I’m hoping it’s just for the tag team because it doesn’t work at all. Harper nails a quick dropkick to start but gets caught by a spinning kick to the face. Jey and Rowan get into a fight on the floor and Jimmy loads up a dive, only to walk into the discus lariat for the pin at 1:43.

Jey wants to fight Rowan right now and gets what he wants after a break.

Jey Uso vs. Erick Rowan

Joined in progress with Jey fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught in a fall away slam. Another slam gets two for Rowan but he misses a charge into the post. A superkick puts him down though and the Superfly Splash is good for the pin at 1:58. Same match with the roles reversed.

The Wyatts destroy the Usos post match. Bray pops up on screen and says he’s proud of his boys. He and his brothers look down upon creation and see the bodies of all their conquerings. On Sunday, Bray will climb the ladder and become champion of champions. His brothers will prove themselves worthy to be his disciples and they will roam the earth like disciples, spreading their message of follow the buzzards.

Lana and Rusev went sight seeing earlier today and rip on some Washington landmarks. America’s only option is to bow down and accept Vladimir Putin.

Alicia Fox vs. Naomi

Paige and Cameron are on commentary. Naomi gets a quick rollup for two but can’t hit the Rear View. Cameron brags about how touch she is and how she’s going to dance all over everyone and win the Divas Title. The girls fight on the floor with Naomi getting the better of it but getting pulled off the apron and down onto the concrete. Fox gets two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker as Cameron is still running her mouth. A northern lights suplex gets two on Naomi as Paige shrugs off everything Cameron says. Fox sends Naomi outside and poses a lot but back inside, a quick reverse DDT gives Naomi the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad as you had two girls who could have a decent match in there, but Cameron was painfully annoying and was almost literally shouting PAY ATTENTION TO ME. Paige vs. Naomi could have a great match if given the chance but we’ll have to put up with Cameron because of a team split that no one is going to care about.

Post match Paige gets on the apron and holds up the belt while sticking out her hand. Naomi slowly shakes it and it looks like we have a future title match set.

Sheamus and Reigns are in the back talking about their 4-3 handicap match tonight. Reigns is ready but Sheamus brings up Shield attacking everyone in WWE over the last year and a half. Sheamus says Sunday is every man for himself and Reigns says he’ll be ready. The idea seems to please Sheamus and both guys say they’ll win on Sunday.

Titus O’Neil vs. Bo Dallas

Bo has a black eye but brings up Titus’ two losses in less than a minute on Smackdown. He suggests Titus Bolieve of course. Some dropkicks have Titus staggered but he comes back with a series of slams and chops in the corner. Titus misses a charge though and the Bodog gives Bo the pin at 1:06.

Titus knocks the mic out of Bo’s hands post match. Bo: “Silly me. Mr. Butterfingers.” Titus gets the pep talk but nothing else happens.

Here’s HHH to talk about how all the decisions in this country are made right here in Washington DC. He explains the double ladder match on Sundaya nd how the winner of the briefcase is almost guaranteed to be World Champion. The lineup for the ladder match will be Seth Rollins, Kofi Kingston, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler (big pop), Rob Van Dam and Bad News Barrett. That’s only six even though the graphic had seven spots. HHH picks Rollins to win the match of course and here’s Seth, now with his own t-shirt.

The fans chant YOU SOLD OUT and Rollins says they really should be over it by now. If the fans love Ambrose and Reigns as much as they claim they do, they should still be thanking Rollins for getting them as high as they did. Shield may have gotten him this far, but this Sunday he’ll climb the ladder all by himself. You can call him a sellout but on Sunday you’re going to call him Mr. Money in the Bank.

This brings out RVD who thinks he’s not being taken seriously. Seth: “I do take you seriously. I’d take you even more seriously if this was 2005.” RVD: “Back when you had to ask your mom to stay up late and watch me wrestle?” Van Dam brings up crushing HHH’s trachea in the first Elimintion Chamber before challenging Seth to a match right now. HHH says let’s do it.

Rob Van Dam vs. Seth Rollins

This actually starts without a break and Van Dam hits a quick monkey flip to take over. Seth is sent to the floor for a dive followed by a moonsault from the apron as we take a break. Back with Rob getting choked on the ropes before Seth hits Three Amigos for two. After a chinlock goes nowhere, Seth gets two off the spinning sleeper drop.

Back to the chinlock for a few moments before Rob grabs a rollup for two. Some clotheslines look to set up Rolling Thunder but it takes a big spinning kick for Rolling Thunder to connect. A top rope kick to the face drops Seth but the Five Star only hits mat. The buckle bomb sets up the curb stomps but Dean Ambrose runs in for the DQ at 10:00.

Rating: C-. I’m really getting tired of Rob Van Dam lately. His matches aren’t bad for the most part but you can call almost every spot he’s going to do in the entire match depending on how long it runs. Thankfully he’s only there to put people over at this point because that’s all he should be doing now.

Ambrose destroys Seth until Rollins can get away. Dean demands to be put in the ladder match because he’ll wreck things if he doesn’t get in.

After a break, Rollins wants Ambrose in the ladder match so Seth can keep his eyes on him. Rollins says any failure will be on him so HHH grants his wish.

Intercontinental Title: Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler

Rematch from a non-title match on Smackdown where Ziggler got a quick upset. Barrett rips on the Redskins before the match. We get big match intros after a break and Ziggler grabs a quick rollup for two. A clothesline puts him on the floor though and Barrett takes over. Back in and Barrett cranks on a chinlock but comes back with a hard series of right hands on the mat and in the corner. Winds of Change gets two more for the champion but he gets caught by the Zig Zag. Barrett rolls to the floor before Dolph can cover though and we take a break.

Back with Ziggler getting two off something we didn’t see but being sent to the floor so the champion can take over. We head back inside with Bad News kicking him in the ribs for two but going up top, only to get caught in the top rope X Factor for a very close near fall. Barrett loads up a powerbomb but switches over to Wasteland for two instead. The Bull Hammer is countered into the Fameasser for yet another near fall as the fans are WAY into this. Another Winds of Change is countered into a crucifix but the Stinger Splash lands on the Bull Hammer for the pin to retain the title at 12:34.

Rating: B. This was a very solid back and for the match and makes up for the loss on Friday. It made that match look much more like a fluke as Barrett gets to come back and win a competitive match. These two had chemistry together and that’s always something good to see.

Vickie says she has no regrets. Orton shows up and says Vickie will get what’s coming to her.

Vickie Guerrero vs. Stephanie McMahon

Guerrero comes out to Eddie’s music and Stephanie comes out in the pink and black dress and heels. The match isn’t going to take place in the ring, but rather in a mud pit. The first person to go into the pit loses the match, and Vickie is fired if she loses. Stephanie sends Rosa Mendes, Layla and Alicia Fox to attack Vickie and she’s easily overpowered, but manages to send Rosa into the pit. Layla goes in as well and Alicia follows her, causing Vickie to do the YES chant. Stephanie hits her from behind though and knocks her into the pit for the win. Not a match of course.

Stephanie fires her in a perfect imitation of Vince’s voice. She starts the Goodbye Song but Vickie gets fed up and the reality that Vickie has nothing to lose quickly sets in. Vickie throws her into the muck and Vickie does the Eddie dance before leaving. The referee is pulled in while helping Stephanie just to make things all the better.

We recap the debut of Stardust.

Goldust is in the back and says he didn’t see Cody last week. This brings in Stardust who sings When You Wish Upon a Star. Goldust: “WOW! Now I’m the normal one!”

Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger

Kofi goes after the leg to start before kicking away at the ribs. A hard shoulder puts Kofi down but he comes back with the jumping elbow to the jaw. Swagger kicks him in the ribs and hits the Vader Bomb before cranking on the arm. Kofi fights up with some dropkicks to send Swagger outside, followed by a big flip dive. Back in and Kingston’s top rope cross body is caught but he comes back with a victory roll for two. A flapjack sets up the Patriot Lock though and Kofi taps at 3:56.

Rating: C. The match was fine but they seemed to be a step off at times. It’s nice to see Swagger get a clean pin, but at the end of the day I have no reason to buy into his push at all given how many times it’s gone nowhere before. Kofi’s high flying is still awesome and he’ll have a job because of it for years.

Naomi vs. Paige is official for Sunday.

Del Rio says he’s the only one in the ladder match that is undefeated in Money in the Bank. Not true but whatever. Cesaro and Heyman come up with Paul talking about how Del Rio may be the one in the ladder match, but Heyman is the one behind the one in 21-1 and how Cesaro will win on Sunday. Del Rio asks Cesaro if he ever talks, so Cesaro says he doesn’t speak loser.

Damien Sandow is Abraham Lincoln this week and reads a proclomation that says some people don’t find him entertaining. He’d rather spend a night in Ford’s Theater than let simpletons determine his career. He runs his mouth for a bit longer until Big E. interrupts.

Damien Sandow vs. Big E.

Sandow wrestles in the suit and stomps away in the corner. Big E. runs him over and hits the Big Ending for the pin at 54 seconds.

Post match Big E. goes into what sounds like a preacher rant about how this is the land of the free and how tired he is of hearing Rusev and Lana run down America. Lana comes to the stage, allowing Rusev to jump Big E. from behind. The jumping superkick sets up the Accolade as America is crushed again.

Cena talks about how this Sunday, seven men will fight for the WWE Championship. Moments and memories will be made but we’re guaranteed to see a new WWE Champion. It’s time to pick which of the Magnificent Seven walks out as champion. He’s wearing green tonight and that’s the color of money, so people should bet on him. I’ve heard worse lines.

John Cena/Sheamus/Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio/Randy Orton/Cesaro/Bray Wyatt

Rematch from Friday. Cena and Orton get things going after a break with John quickly running him over and making the tag to Sheamus. It’s quickly back to Cena to face Del Rio with Alberto stomping away in the corner. The running bulldog puts Alberto down and it’s off to Cesaro for a big showdown. Cesaro wins a test of strength and takes Cena into the corner for a stomping from Wyatt.

We hit the nerve hold on Cena followed by the running backsplash as we take a break. Back with Del Rio trying to keep Cena in a chinlock. Cena gets to his feet but a DDT brings him right back down for two. Cesaro tags himself in and loads up the Swing but opts for a Boston crab instead. John fights up and powers out, seting up the hot tag to Reigns. Roman cleans house with his usual stuff, including the apron dropkick to Del Rio. The Superman Punch drops Cesaro and Orton but Del Rio gets two off a Backstabber.

Back to Bray for the running cross body followed by the gutwrench suplex from Cesaro. Orton tags himself back in to Cesaro’s annoyance before suplexing Reigns down for two. We hit the chinlock before the heels all start taking their turns on Reigns. A quick Superman Punch drops Bray and Cesaro comes back in, only to knee Reigns into the tag to Sheamus.

The pale one cleans house and hits fourteen forearms to Cesaro’s chest. White Noise doesn’t work but the powerslam puts Cesaro down. Everything breaks down and it’s finishers a go-go. Orton and Del Rio take AA’s but Cesaro lays Cena out with Swiss Death. The Brogue Kick out of nowhere is enough to pin Cesaro at 15:30.

Rating: C. This was pretty much just a shotened version of the Smackdown match, meaning it wasn’t all that great. This is the most basic version of a match like this that you can have and while it’s full of stars, the action was nothing all that special. That’s part of the problem with Money in the Bank: it focuses everything on one match and that causes problems.

Post match Kane comes out to clean house with chokeslams for most of the seven men. HHH comes out and announces Kane as the eighth man. Reigns spears Kane down after the fire comes out of the posts.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling was ok, the build for Sunday was acceptable and we got a good moment from Vickie. That being said, the show felt like it was a very paint by numbers build up show which is what I had a feeling we’d be getting. It’s not bad or anything, but I have no more desire to watch Sunday’s show than I had coming into tonight. The show should be fine but I’d have liked a bit more than this.

Results
Luke Harper b. Jimmy Uso – Discus lariat
Jey Uso b. Erick Rowan – Superfly Splash
Naomi b. Alicia Fox – Reverse DDT
Bo Dallas b. Titus O’Neil – Bodog
Seth Rollins b. Rob Van Dam via disqualification when Dean Ambrose interfered
Wade Barrett b. Dolph Ziggler – Bull Hammer
Jack Swagger b. Kofi Kingston – Patriot Lock
Big E. b. Damien Sandow – Big Ending
Roman Reigns/Sheamus/John Cena b. Bray Wyatt/Cesaro/Randy Orton/Alberto Del Rio – Brogue Kick to Cesaro

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Survivor Series at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Seriously.

It’s the go home show for Backlash and the main story is the Ministry being totally out of control. The Corporation is fighting them as well as they can but there’s just too much going on for them to do much good. Other than that we’ll get the fallout from Rock throwing both Austin and the title belt into the river last week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Smoking Skull belt being introduced and then thrown in the river last week with Austin following it into the water.

Rock drives a hearse into the arena because he buried the title last week. This week it’s going to be a funeral with Rock delivering the eulogy. We even have a casket, flowers, and a big mound of dirt. Rock climbs onto the mound while guaranteeing to show that he’s the best champion ever on Sunday. Simple stuff here but on a big stage.

Vince and Stephanie will do a sitdown interview in Connecticut tonight so Vince is checking with security to make sure Stephanie is safe.

Road Dogg vs. Owen Hart

There’s no ramp this week due to the grave taking up so much space. Before the match, Dogg says that the Outlaws are the #1 contenders but if he loses tonight, Owen and Jarrett are the #1 contenders, no questions asked. However, if Dogg wins, the world gets to see Debra’s puppies. That’s the first time that term was ever used in the WWF so there’s your historical moment.

Owen jumps Dogg to start as Jerry is now a huge Roadie fan. The left hands and shaky knee drop get two on Owen but he comes back with a spinwheel kick (Lawler: “NO!”). A legdrop gets two more for Hart and he nails an enziguri for a close two. Owen drops a middle rope elbow but Dogg kicks out of the Sharpshooter and hits the pumphandle slam for the pin, sending Lawler into orbit.

Rating: D. This was just about the post match stuff and introducing one of the longest running jokes in WWF history to the lexicon. The tag match on Sunday was the more important story anyway, but this is far most historic. It says a lot that Owen and Jarrett were one of the top teams in the division.

Jeff Jarrett prevents the unveiling.

Undertaker sends the Acolytes out to take care of the Brood.

Rock is practicing his eulogy.

Brood vs. Acolytes

Christian is the odd man out here. It’s a brawl to start with the power guys easily taking over to start. Farrooq powerbombs Edge down but the Canadian comes back with a spinwheel kick and some lame kicks to the shoulder. That’s fine with Farrooq as he comes back with a spinebuster and makes the tag to Bradshaw. Gangrel comes in and fights out of a superplex before hitting a quick DDT.

Bradshaw hits a quick fall away slam and brings Farrooq back in for a belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combo. Farrooq works on the back as Lawler’s voice sounds like it’s cracking. Gangrel finally gets over for a tag but Bradshaw takes Edge’s head off before he can get going. The double powerbomb lays out Edge but Shamrock runs in with a ball bat to knock Bradshaw silly for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not much better than the opener but it had more time and the teams knew how to work a decent match. Neither team would do anything for awhile but once Edge and Christian took off they never looked back. The main event war continues to devour the entire company.

Undertaker is livid at the Acolytes for not getting a pin.

There’s a new special coming. It’s called Smackdown.

During the break, Undertaker and Viscera beat the tar out of Farrooq and Bradshaw.

Intercontinental Title: Godfather vs. Hardcore Holly

Only Godfather’s title is on the line. It’s a slugout to start with Godfather getting the better of it. A boot to the face sends Holly to the floor where he picks up a cookie sheet, only to get rolled up for two. The Ho Train crushes Holly but we’ve got a ref bump a minute into the match. Holly rolls outside again and nails Godfather with the cookie sheet several times before throwing him out to the floor. A hockey stick over Godfather’s back has him in even more trouble but Godfather kicks a chair into Holly’s face. Goldust comes out and breaks up Godfather’s cover, but Snow lays Holly out with Head to give Godfather the pin.

Rating: D-. Did I mention this is Russo time? It’s a three minute and five second match, complete with a ref bump, four weapons and two run ins. I have no idea why the match needed all this stuff but that’s part of Russo’s philosophy: a title match isn’t enough to keep the fans’ entrance so all this stuff has to be thrown in. It works once in awhile but when it happens all the time, the effect wears off.

Undertaker is on the phone with Mideon and tells him not to fail.

Rock is having his shoes shined and promises to bury Austin tonight.

Ken Shamrock vs. Big Boss Man

No holds barred due to Boss Man attacking Shamrock last week to kick him out of the Corporation, though Shamrock is still loyal to Vince. The brawl starts in the aisle with no one in control. Boss Man is sent into the steps and then into the ring for the opening bell. Shamrock kicks Boss Man in the head and they slug it out until an enziguri (hit Ken’s shoulder) puts Shamrock down. A much better pair of spinebusters get three straight two counts and a powerslam gets one more. Boss Man hammers away even more but Ken grabs a hurricanrana and belly to belly out of nowhere for the pin.

Rating: D-. The gimmick brings this down as there was no reason for this to be no holds barred at all. If nothing else it makes future matches with the same gimmick look stupid as fans will say “the last one sucked so why should I care about this one?” As a regular match it wasn’t much to see either.

Undertaker immediately pops up and says he knows where Ryan Shamrock is, even knowing her room number. Ken runs to the back.

The Mean Street Posse comes out for commentary.

Mankind vs. HHH

Some right hands have HHH in early trouble but Chyna pulls Mankind down by the tie and hits him in the face. That doesn’t last long though as a backdrop puts HHH down again and he gets tied up in the Tree of Woe. HHH comes back again and hits the running knee to send Mankind outside. Chyna gets in even more shots as the Posse hasn’t had much to say so far.

Back in and HHH drops a knee for two before clotheslining Mankind out to the floor. Both guys are sent into the steps with HHH getting the better of it and hammering away back inside. The Pedigree is countered but HHH blocks the catapult attempt, so Mankind falls head first onto his crotch. Socko is loaded up but Chyna crotches Mankind against the post for a DQ.

Rating: C-. Better match but that’s still not saying match. These guys were capable of having some classics but they need more than six minutes on a random Raw in the middle of April. The DQ/screwy finishes are getting really annoying tonight, which says a lot given what we usually have to sit through on this show.

Post match the Corporation comes in to attack Mankind but Big Show makes the save. He hits a HUGE chokeslam on Test to send everyone running. Mankind grabs the mic and says thank you very much, but they’ll still meet in his boiler room on Sunday.

Rock is on the phone in the parking lot and says his car cost $40,000.

Billy Gunn vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jeff sends him into the corner and stomps away to start but walks into a great powerslam for two. Owen comes out to trip Billy, allowing Jarrett to clothesline him outside. Road Dogg gets caught trying to help and Gunn is posted. A bulldog gets two for Jarrett but Billy drops him face first onto the top turnbuckle to take over.

Road Dogg helps his partner out with a right hand but Billy and Jeff hit heads to knock each other down. JR is already annoyed at the puppy jokes as Billy nails a neckbreaker, but Debra unbuttons her top to show off her bra. Billy simply drops his tights and hits a Fameasser on Jarrett but Owen comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. That’s almost out of pity as these matches have just been awful tonight. The tag matches make sense for Sunday, but I don’t see the point in having one team win both of the matches. The puppy stuff would dominate anything to do with women for about the next three years, much to JR’s annoyances.

Debra takes off her jacket but Jeff covers her bra with the guitar.

Rock won’t give an interview to WWF.com and tells the interviewer to get him some fruit.

Viscera vs. Big Show

They lock up to start and Big Show easily shoves him to the mat. Viscera takes him into the corner for some fat man splashes, only to get crushed with a clothesline. A rather impressive hiptoss puts Viscera down but he comes back with more fat man splashes. Big Show kicks him in the face to drop Viscera again but the lights go out as he loads up the chokeslam. We’ll say it’s a no contest here after your usual battle of the huge men match.

Undertaker and Paul Bearer come to the ring and we get the real showdown with Big Show. They slug it out and both try chokeslams but Viscera gets back up for the double team. Big Show still won’t go down but Undertaker punches him onto one knee. Mankind comes out to even things up but Undertaker leaves Viscera alone. Big Show superkicks Viscera to the floor. It really is amazing how much bigger Show is than Viscera, who is a massive man.

We look at Shane taking over the Corporation last week.

Vince and Stephanie are in Connecticut for a sitdown interview with Michael Cole. Vince says he’s always been proud of Shane but he wasn’t always there for him. Shane missed a lot as well because Vince wasn’t there, but Vince wasn’t proud last week. Stephanie can’t believe what Shane has done recently but knows that the only person that can keep her safe is Vince.

Security interrupts the interview and says something is going on in the parking lot. Vince tells the guards to stay there with Stephanie and goes after whoever is in the parking lot. It turns out to be Mideon and Vince beats the tar out of him before trying to crush Mideon with his own car. Mideon escapes and gets into the car as we go to a break.

Here’s Val Venis to say he’s solved the Y2K problem. All the ladies have to do is add a few extra bytes of ram from his hard drive and everything will be fine. This brings out Sable who says that’s nice, but she’s got bigger news: in two weeks, she’ll be shooting her second Playboy pictorial. This brings out Ivory and D’Lo Brown and the double brawl is on for no apparent reason. Now Sable’s bodyguard Nicole Bass comes out to destroy Ivory with a chokeslam. Val seems to have eyes for Sable.

It’s time for Rock to deliver the eulogy for Austin. Rock sets the tone with “Dearly trailer park trash”. Oh we could be in for a good one here. Rock isn’t sure if a roody poo like Steve Austin will fit in that casket before we get the real point of this: Rock opens his jacket to reveal the Smoking Skull belt. He runs his mouth about Backlash a bit until you can hear an engine revving.

We go outside and Austin is in a 3:16 monster truck. He goes over to the Rock’s car and puts it in the middle of the parking lot before getting back in the monster truck. Austin teases it a bit by driving around the Lincoln Continental a few times before crushing the brand new $40,000 car, sending Rock into a frenzy.

With that nice and destroyed, Austin drives the truck into the arena and beers are consumed. Back into the truck and Austin runs over the hearse before the fight is on. Rock barely gets in a single shot before Austin nails him with the belt to send Rock into the grave. Austin poses with the title but Shane comes in (remember that he’s the referee on Sunday) and breaks a shovel over Austin’s head to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is where Vince Russo was in need of the leash more than ever. All the stuff in the middle of this show was about as dreadful as you can get because it keeps going so fast that you can’t keep up with anything at all. However, there’s good stuff on both ends of the show that make it worth seeing. As for a go home show though, this really didn’t hold up well either. Most of the matches were just glossed over and the pay per view sounds like it’s going to be a big commercial for the next night’s Raw. That being said, it’s still better than anything WCW was doing at this point and that’s all that mattered.

Here’s Backlash if you’re interested:

We’re in Cleveland tonight and the main story continues to be Shield vs. HHH/Orton/Rollins, which doesn’t seem to be Evolution anymore. Other than that we’re getting ready for Money in the Bank with two spots left in the World Title ladder match. John Cena is still without a match for the show, so you can probably pencil him in for a qualifying match at some point this week. Let’s get to it.

First off on a personal note, Happy Birthday Mom.

We open with the roster on the stage and the Authority walking through them to get to the ring. Stephanie knows how hard it is for the fans to not have a WE Champion because the title means so much. Look at her husband, the greatest of all time for proof of how it can immortalize people. Bryan has proven that he’s a B+ player because he didn’t have the heart to defend the title.

This brings HHH to the roster on the stage, because the next WWE Champion might be standing up there right now. Stephanie says tonight is about opportunity because someone will join the Money in the Bank match. Everyone up there will be in a battle royal, minus the Shield because they’ve refused to evolve. Also, John Cena won’t be in the match for reasons not specified. HHH knows Cena loves to help people, so tonight Cena can help the Authority. Tonight Cena gets his own chance to qualify for Money in the Bank, in a stretcher match against Kane.

Comedian Kevin Hart is guest host tonight.

Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler

I think we had a miscue before the break as Kane came out and is nowhere to be seen now. Rollins has some new music and is back in something similar to his Shield attire, though it’s a plain black sleveless top instead of a vest. The hometown boy runs Seth over to start but Rollins slaps him in the back of the head a few times. Ziggler hiptosses him down and out to the floor for a breather. Back in and Rollins puts on a headlock before whipping Ziggler hard into the corner as we take a break.

We come back with Seth getting two off something we didn’t see before putting on a chinlock. Ziggler escapes and heads to the floor where he blocks a suicide dive. Back in and Rollins hits a quick enziguri but misses the curb stomp, allowing Ziggler to nail the jumping DDT for two. Ziggler hammers away and gets two off a sunset flip before putting on the sleeper. Seth is quicky out but the Fameasser gets two for Dolph. Not that it matters as Rollins hits two straight buckle bombs followed by the curb stomp, but Ambrose runs in for the DQ at 11:06.

Rating: C+. This was getting going but the DQ ending makes sense in this case. Ambrose not coming out there when he knew where Rollins was wouldn’t have made sense so the ending is as logical as you can get. You knew Ziggler wasn’t going to go over Rollins at this point, so there isn’t much to complain about.

Ambrose erupts on Rollins but Seth bails to the floor. Dean tells him to get down here for his beating, but HHH pops up on screen and says he has some bad news for Ambrose.

Bad News Barrett vs. Dean Ambrose

This is joined in progress after a break with Dean, in street clothes, hitting a cross body and hammering away on Barrett. I’m assuming this is non-title. A snap suplex gets two on Barrett and we hit the face rip. Barrett comes back with a knee to the ribs and puts on a chinlock, complete with an angry look on his face. Bad News hammers away in the corner but Dean runs him over and fires off right hands of his own to knock Barrett outside. A big dive takes him down again but Barrett takes him inside and clotheslines Dean off the top rope to mess up Ambrose’s bad shoulder again. We take a break with the referee looking at Dean.

Back with both guys still on the floor and Barrett ramming the bad arm into the apron. They head back inside for more arm work until Dean makes a comeback with his good arm. Some right hands have Barrett staggered but he runs into Winds of Change for two. Wasteland is countered into a crucifix but Dean does his bounds off the ropes clothesline to drop Barrett. Dean is feeling the crowd because he’s an awesome face, but Rollins is on the announce table again. The distraction doesn’t work as Barrett is sent to the floor, setting up a double suicide dive from Ambrose. Dean follows Seth into the crowd for the countout at 11:55.

Rating: B-. Nice match here but more importantly Dean is FEELING IT as a face. The guy is just flat out talented and has the awesome visuals that you need to be a star. This feud is starting to make me think of HHH vs. Rock in 1998 and that feud launched both guys into the main event for the rest of their careers. That’s a very, very good sign.

Vickie Guerrero is bringing coffee to the Authority. She runs into Roman Reigns and suggests sugar. Vickie leaves the coffee there and Reigns spikes it with her gone. She sneezes again because that’s her thing now. And people wonder why the writers are mocked.

Here are the Wyatts with something to say. The ladder is set up in the middle of the ring. The cell phones for Wyatt’s entrance make for an awesome visual. Before the match Bray talks about how without power, we’re all just little mice running from the lions in the jungle. Power can be addicting because we all need and crave it. Power will be our downfall though because a powerful is to be respected, but a weak man is less valuable than the dirt he crawls through.

Bray’s game is power and that title is all the power he needs. He wants us to look at Harper and Rowan and judge them as you will. Judge them as you want, because at Money in the Bank, they’re taking the Tag Team Titles from the Usos. Bray crawls under the ladder and says at Money in the Bank, he’ll claim his power and his title. Sheamus interrupts and offers to put his boot down Bray’s throat because it’s time to fight.

Bray Wyatt vs. Sheamus

It’s a brawl to start with both guys getting in their own big shots to the head. Bray takes him down and slugs away with Sheamus in early trouble. Back up and Bray’s suplex is slam is blocked into a suplex from the ticked off pale one. Now it’s his turn to hammer away on Wyatt before dropping him with a running forearm. A middle rope forearm staggers Bray and the fight goes out to the floor. The Family is about to get involved but the Usos come out to even things up as we go to a break.

Back with Sheamus fighting out of a chinlock to continue the brawl before Bray hits the running crossbody for two. Sheamus hits the forearms on the apron but Bray counters White Noise. A powerslam puts Bray down and it’s Brogue Kick time but the Family interferes for the DQ at 11:16.

Rating: C+. This was the Sheamus Special: put him in there with another power brawler and let them beat each other up for awhile. Bray is looking like a step above a dark horse for the title match and I’d love to see him get the title just to see where things go from there. Nice match here and it’s nice to see no one win in a match where both guys should look strong.

Post match the Usos and Sheamus clean house, including using the ladder as a ramp to dive on the Wyatts. Sheamus throws the ladder at the Family’s head and Rowan looked to take it full on in the face.

HHH accidentally knocks his coffee into Vickie’s face. Stephanie gets hers and says it’s good.

After the break, Stephanie is still drinking coffee and talking about how it’s every man for himself when her stomach gets upset. Because her drink is spiked and she needs a bathroom you see, because that’s what a violent and angry man like Roman Reigns does. Paul Heyman comes in to take Stephanie’s interview time and asks about who could win Money in the Bank. He says it’s going to be Cesaro and that’s a spoiler.

Rusev vs. Heath Slater

This time Lana’s speech takes place in the ring. She thinks American men should be ashamed because Rusev keeps running through them and they’re nothing compared to Vladimir Putin. We get a picture of a Russian Mount Rushmore and Rusev can apparently speak English, saying that resistance if futile. Slater actually gets to talk and asks why Lana and Rusev don’t go back to Russia if they love it so much. He’s now the American Rock Star. Heath sactually slugs away to start but runs into a right hand and the jumping superkick. Accolade ends this in 34 seconds.

Vickie is sent in to check on the sick Stephanie and gets vomited on. Vickie is put in charge while the Authority leaves. Screaming ensues. This made me groan out loud.

Reigns goes to see Vickie, who hasn’t cleaned up because, as we learned from Layla last week, showers don’t exist at WWE. Roman says she’ll get fired next week and asks to be put in the battle royal to screw with the Authority. “Fine. YOU’RE IN!” The fans seem very pleased with this.

We get a clip of Kevin Hart’s new movie Think Like A Man Too.

Kevin Hart is talking about the movie when Adam Rose and the Exotic Experience comes in. Rose plugs the movie and says Hart should be a Rosebud. Hart has no idea what he just said but says no. Kevin wants to know why they’re all singing at him and that’s about it.

Adam Rose/Summer Rae vs. Fandango/Layla

Kevin Hart is on commentary. Cole tries to explain why the girls have poured milk and kitty litter on each other and it sounds so ridiculous when you put it into words. The guys get things started as Kevin makes fun of their clothes. Layla tags herself in and we get a catfight but Layla quickly tags out. Summer chases her up the aisle and Rose hits the Party Foul for the pin at 1:25.

Hart joins the Express post match.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Battle Royal

Titus O’Neil, Damien Sandow, Bo Dallas, Jack Swagger, Diego, Fernando, Curtis Axel, Fandango, Dolph Ziggler, Rusev, Ryback, Sin Cara, Santino Marella, Kofi Kingston, Big E., Roman Reigns, Rob Van Dam, Bad News Barrett, Xavier Woods

Those are all the people on the graphic so there’s a chance I missed a few. Damien is LeBron James because why not. Not that it matters as everyone gets together to put him out ten seconds in. Bo throws Santino out and Rusev does the same thing to both Matadores. Woods gets the same treatment from Rusev and everyone brawls for awhile.

Ziggler is sent to the apron and Reigns eliminates Titus. Swagger puts Sin Cara on the apron before catapulting him out. Kofi can’t get Swagger out and Big E. can’t get rid of Axel. Rusev gets Ziggler to the apron but a kick to the head saves Dolph. Kofi finally gets Swagger out and we take a break. Back with Rusev, Reigns, RVD, Ryback, Ziggler, Fandango, Dallas, Big E., Axel and Barrett still in, meaning Kofi (via Ryback) was the only elimination during the break. Speaking of eliminations, Ryback punches Ziggler out to the floor for his second straight elimination.

Reigns starts cleaning house and even takes Rusev down with a Superman Punch but can’t take care of Ryback that easily. Roman sends Fandango to the apron but has to spear Ryback and Axel down. A kick to the head puts Fandango out and Rusev kicks Reigns in the chest. Big E. dumps Ryback and Reigns throws out Axel. Another kick puts Roman down but Van Dam kicks Rusev in the face. Van Dam and Dallas start fighting but Barrett takes Rob down with a big boot.

Rob comes back with more kicks but Bo shoves him off the corner for a surprise elimination. That could be Bo’s first big feud. Barrett lays out a celebrating Bo and throws him to the apron but Bo hangs on. Nice little call back to the Rumble from a few years ago. Reigns dumps Barrett and Dallas knocks out Big E., but walks into the spear. Dallas is dumped and we’re down to Rusev vs. Roman.

The fans are WAY into this and the slugout is on. Reigns gets the early advantage but walks into a wicked spinwheel kick. They trade running charges in the corner and Reigns puts him on the apron. Some big right hands can’t get rid of the Russian but the Superman Punch sends Reigns to Money in the Bank and the crowd is VERY happy.

Rating: B. I was doubting Reigns for awhile but he’s coming off like a STAR at this point, just like Ambrose. This was a really solid battle royal as there were some good saves and the last bit of the match was really solid stuff. The last pairing is how you should do big matches: take two guys who look unbeatable and have them fight. Notice the reaction and you’ll see why that’s an idea.

John Cena holds up five fingers and knocks down a finger at a time to explain why he should go to Money in the Bank. All that’s left is his index finger, because him being WWE Champion is what’s best for business. Various unfunny references to Stephanie and Vickie were included.

Cameron vs. Paige

Non-title. There’s some story here about Cameron slapping Paige on social media. Paige gets all ticked off to start and throws Cameron around by the hair before driving in some headbutts. Cameron bails to the floor but comes back in with a kick to the ribs and another slap for two. Paige shrugs it off and nails some clotheslines followed by the PTO for the submission at 3:30.

Rating: D. Total snack time match here, but it showed one thing: Cameron is there because she’s annoying on a badly scripted reality show and how she looks in shorts. She couldn’t do even basic stuff competently in there and Paige was carrying everything she could for the match. Nothing to see here and Paige needs better help.

We recap the Rhodes Brothers’ issues. Tonight Cody has found the perfect partner for Goldust. Goldust has met him and says the partner is super and galactic.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Goldust/???

And it’s Cody Rhodes in Goldust paint under the name Star Dust, despite Cody saying it wouldn’t be him last week. The Dusts jump Ryback and Axel to start with Cody hitting a quick DDT on Axel. Ryback is sent to the floor and Cody nails a springboard elbow to Curtis’ head. Something resembling Diamond Dust (ending in a cutter instead of a Stunner) ends Axel at 1:00.

Stephanie helped host the Special Olympics to give her a new charity to work with.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: John Cena vs. Kane

Stretcher match which is taking place because Cena is replacing Bryan due to injury. Kane easily takes him down to start and stomps away before taking him down to the floor. Cena is quickly off the stretcher and rams it into Kane’s ribs a few times to take over. A hard whip sends Cena into the steps and another puts him into the post to give the monster control again. John is put on the stretcher but gets off before they get too far up the ramp.

Back from a break with Kane still in control but Cena sends him into a chair. Cena goes up, only to jump into a chokeslam. That doesn’t mean much in a stretcher match though so Kane brings in the steps. John dropkicks the leg out though and Kane’s head slams into the steel. An AA off the steps is countered into a DDT but Cena is still dead weight. Kane can only get the stretcher partially up the ramp before Cena fights back and sends him into the post.

Kane whips Cena into the barricade and loads up the table but gets caught in an AA through said table to put the monster down. He’s still a long way from the stretcher though so Cena wisely puts him in a fireman’s carry. Cena gets him to the stretcher but collapses before he can get Kane on it. Cena finds another stretcher from ringside and gets Kane on it but here are Orton and Rollins to put Cena back in the ring. Why they didn’t put him on a stretcher is beyond me.

An RKO lays Cena out in the ring but Ambrose hits the ring to save Cena from a chair shot. Kane is back up though with a chokeslam to Ambrose, leaving us with the people in the match. Cena low bridges Kane to the floor and looks at the steps. We get the throw the steps spot but Kane mostly blocks them with his hands. He goes down anyway though and puts Kane on the stretcher but Kane sits up at the last second. He grabs Cena by the throat but Cena AA’s him back onto the stretcher to go to Money in the Bank at 15:18.

Rating: C-. These two never really worked all that well together but this wasn’t all that bad. I was thinking they wouldn’t go with Cena there for a second but I wasn’t sure what that would leave him with at the pay per view. Hopefully this gets rid of Kane for awhile as there really isn’t much for him to do right now.

Cena poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This show got by on energy alone and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. The parts that were good were REALLY good with the Shield stuff in particular knocking it out of the park. Rollins will be solid in his role but Ambrose and Reigns look like superstars already. The ladder match looks great and there are at least five legitimate contenders to win it.

It’s certainly not a perfect show by any means but the bad stuff was kept to a limit tonight. Yeah the stuff with the coffee was dumb and beyond a stretch, but at least the payoff was more than worth it. I have high hopes for Money in the Bank for the first time and above all else: IT LOOKS LIKE THERE WON’T BE A BRIEFCASE THIS YEAR! I couldn’t be happier about that so I’ll give the show bonus points. Really solid show this week that brought the goods.

Results
Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Dean Ambrose interfered
Bad News Barrett b. Dean Ambrose via countout
Sheamus b. Bray Wyatt via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered
Rusev b. Heath Slater – Accolade
Adam Rose/Summer Rae b. Fandango/Layla – Party Foul to Fandango
Roman Reigns won a battle royal last eliminating Rusev
Paige b. Cameron – PTO
Goldust/Star Dust b. Curtis Axel/Ryback – Diamond Dust to Axel
John Cena b. Kane – Cena pushed Kane over the finish line

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Payback was last night and while a lot of stuff didn’t change, a lot of awesome stuff happened last night. Cena defeated Bray Wyatt last night in a match where I believe the feud was blown off. On top of that, we saw Shield destroy Evolution in a perfect sweep. The match wasn’t as entertaining as I was hoping it to be, but the whole thing worked very well. Tonight we start the road to Money in the Bank. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps the six man tag last night.

Here’s Evolution to open things up. HHH says it’s always darkest just before the dawn but the funny things is everyone thinks Shield won. However, HHH never loses. It’s not over until the Shield no longer exists. Orton and Batista don’t seem as enthusiastic about this idea. HHH says Shield is over tonight but Batista takes the mic. He doesn’t want another match with Shield because it’s time for his one on one title shot that HHH promised.

HHH gets another mic and says he’s the boss. Batista doesn’t care about the plan because he wants the title shot he earned by winning the Royal Rumble. The boss says Daniel Bryan is injured and can’t compete so there can’t be a title match. “Even if I did, you’d probably choke anyway.” HHH apologizes before going on another rant about Shield. Once they’re gone, Batista gets what he wants. Until then though, no one gets anything. Batista understands and quits. For the first time since he returned, the fans cheer for Batista. HHH shouts a lot but Batista just walks out.

During the break Batista confirmed that he did, in fact, quit.

Rob Van Dam/Sheamus vs. Cesaro/Bad News Barrett

Cesaro throws Van Dam around to start but it’s quickly off to Sheamus for the top rope shoulder. A quick gutwrench suplex puts Sheamus down but he comes out of the corner with a clothesline. The ten forearms to the chest are blocked and it’s off to Barrett to take over. Sheamus takes him into the corner and makes the tag off to Van Dam who kicks Bad News down for two. Van Dam comes out of the corner but jumps into a HARD shot to the throat as we take a break.

Back with Barrett holding Van Dam in an armbar before kicking him in the face for two. Cesaro comes in again and cranks on a chinlock while Heyman complains about how Sheamus beat his man last night. Cesaro hits the delayed gutwrench suplex while glaring at Sheamus before making the tag back to Barrett. A middle rope elbow gets two for the Intercontinental Champion and we hit another chinlock.

Back to Cesaro who Rob outside and into the barricade before taking it back inside for two. We hit a third chinlock but Cesaro lets it go and knocks Sheamus off the apron. The break lets Van Dam kick Cesaro down, allowing for the hot tag to Sheamus for a BIG reaction. The Irishman cleans house with powerslams all around before loading up the Brogue Kick. He picks Cesaro but Heyman makes the save, allowing Barrett to hit Winds of Change for a very close two on Sheamus. Cesaro and Heyman bail and a quick Brogue Kick into a Five Star get the pin on Barrett at 13:14.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here though it had one chinlock too many. This potentially sets up Barrett vs. Cesaro which isn’t a match I would have seen coming but could be interesting. What’s also interesting was the reaction for Sheamus. I haven’t heard him get a pop like that in months and it worked very well. Good reaction to an ok match.

Here’s Damien Sandow, dressed as Indiana Pacer Lance Stephenson and carrying a basketball. The fans aren’t pleased but it gets even worse when he mentions that the Paces’ season is over. Therefore, he would like to state the LeBron James is the best player ever and that the Pacers are a losing team from a losing city. Also as an act of charity for fans supporting such losers, he’ll give a display of his skills. There’s a basketball hoop set up in the corner and this is already dying.

Sandow does some tricks until Big Show interrupts. Sandow: “HOW DARE YOU DISRUPT MY DISPLAY OF MAD SKILLS!” He challenges Big Show to a game and throws him the ball but Big Show throws it back and knocks Sandow out. He dunks the ball as wel, breaking the hoop. If there’s any point to this, feel free to point it out to me.

Kofi Kingston vs. Bo Dallas

This is a rematch from last night when Kane attacked before it could go anywhere. Before the match Bo says the Pacers lost because all of the Heat Bolieved. A shoulder puts Kofi down and he runs outside to shout that he’s WINNING. Kingston comes back with a dropkick to put Bo on the floor before offering a handshake.

Dallas shakes but tries a cheap shot, only to get kicked in the face. Bo puts him down and drops some running knees before putting on a cravate. The fans chant boring and JBL says it’s for Dallas. Kofi comes back with a dropkick and the spinning cross body but gets caught by a hot shot the Bodog for the pin at 4:07.

Rating: D+. As is usually the case, the match was nothing of note but Bo is all about the character rather than the in ring work. The matches aren’t terrible to be fair, but they’re supposed to be Bo running around and cheering for himself. Once he gets a follower or a story he’ll be much more interesting.

Kofi isn’t interested in the post match hug.

We recap the opening segment.

Renee Young tries to get a word with HHH but gets Stephanie instead. She’s on her way to the ring to talk about the World Title.

Here’s a ticked off Stephanie to rant about how Bryan was a coward and let his wife fight for him last night. Brie should have been fired weeks ago but Stephanie gave them chance after chance, only to get slapped in the face. That’s ok though because she’s a tough McMahon. Bryan will have to wake up every morning and see his wife’s dreams broken.

Enough about Bryan though, because this is about the World Heavyweight Championship. At Money in the Bank, Bryan will be defending against Kane in a stretcher match. If he’s unable to compete though, the Money in the Bank ladder match will be for the vacant title. This brings out John Cena to a ROAR.

Cena says he’s sore but he loves the sound of the fans chanting CENA SUCKS. Stephanie may have a hard job but some of the fans’ opinions are kind of questionable. The fans do their dueling chants and Cena says that’s what’s best for business. He’s here to talk about the WWE Championship situation as a former champion. He knows what it’s like to win, lose and have to give away a championship. John talks about no one being bigger than the title, including a spoiled egomaniac like Stephanie, drawing a big cheer. Stephanie: “Oh sure you all like that.”

Cena says Stephanie has to face facts: Daniel Bryan is really good. The WWE Universe can cheer for anyone (Unless they’re Bray Wyatt I guess) and Daniel Bryan has earned that title. Maybe he doesn’t want to give up the belt because he knows the Authority will never give him another shot. Stephanie goes on a rant about how Bryan is a B+ and how he hasn’t defended the title in thirty days so she has to do what she has to do.

Cena talks about the surgeries he and HHH have had to put them out of actions. Even Stephanie has had….surgeries. Stephanie: “They put me IN action but that’s another story.” Cena: “We’ll put that one in a chest somewhere and think about it later.” Cena talks about Stephanie abusing her power and gives her a zero job performance evaluation. She doesn’t care what people think and makes Cena vs. Kane right now.

Kane vs. John Cena

This is joined in progress after a break with Kane in control. He rams Cena spine first into the buckle and drops him with an uppercut before stomping away. Side slam gets two on John but Cena fights back with right hands and the shoulders. The ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle but Kane punches his way out of the AA. Kane hammers away in the corner for the five count and DQ at 3:09 shown.

Rating: D. These two just do not have good chemistry together and there’s no way around it. Kane is one of the few people that Cena doesn’t have good matches with and I had a feeling that was going to be the case when the bell rang. Nothing to see here and thankfully it was only a few minutes long.

Post match Cena escapes a tombstone attempt on the steps and throws said steps at Kane’s head. Cena leaves and Kane throws various metal objects before leaving.

Opening segment recap again.

Orton has talked to HHH and says they’re on the same page. Tonight he’s facing Roman Reigns.

3MB vs. Los Matadores

It’s Slater/McIntyre here but before the match, Slater says Hornswoggle isn’t quite shaved. He comes out with an afro, complete with pick. Heath runs over Diego to start and Horny gets on the apron to play air guitar. Torito rips the wig off and Hornswoggle runs off in terror. A rollup pins Slater at 1:27.

Nikki Bella vs. Alicia Fox/Aksana

This is punishment from Stephanie for Nikki saying she missed her sister on the WWE App. Fox is quickly sent to the floor but kicks Nikki in the back to put her down. Alicia comes in and gets rolled up, only to have Fox nail the ax kick for the pin at 1:11.

Fox beats Nikki up post match and shouts a few hashtags. Aksana gets in a few shots of her own but we’ve got Wyatts.

The rocking chair is empty with Rowan in the sheep mask behind it. Harper grabs his his shoulder and says they have to take up his cause. They have to torture the same pair of brothers over and over until the brothers are put down like the craven beasts they are. Rowan says follow the buzzards.

Jack Swagger vs. Adam Rose

Rematch from Smackdown where Rose got the win. Rose slaps him to start and elbows Swagger down, only to have Jack kick him in the face. Off to a quick double chicken wing before Swagger charges into a boot in the corner. Rose comes back with right hands and a running neckbreaker. A Bronco sets up a running Party Foul (looked better than the usual version) gets the pin at 2:57.

The Usos say they’re banged up but ready to fight tonight. Jimmy shouts like a crazed pitbull.

Wyatt Family vs. Usos

Non-title and Bray is nowhere in sight. Jimmy has taped up ribs and gets thrown around like a ragdoll by Harper. It’s quickly off to Jey for some shots to the face until Harper runs him over again. Off to Rowan for the chinlock for a good while followed by Jey falling under Rowan’s weight. The Family makes a tag so Harper can hammer away instead. The beating doesn’t last long before it’s back to Rowan for a running corner splash. Jey escapes a belly to back and tags in Jimmy to speed things up. Some forearms to the back and a kick to the face get two. Everything breaks down and the monsters are sent to the floor as we take a break.

Back with the monsters in control and Harper working over Jimmy’s bad ribs on the floor. They head back inside for Rowan to slow things down even more and drop some elbows to the ribs. Jimmy gets tied to the Tree of Woe for more kicks to the ribs but he does a big situp, sending a charging Rowan in the post. The Whisper in the Wind is enough to allow the tag to Jey who meets Harper. Jey hits a spinning kick to the head and the running Umaga attack in the corner but gets caught by a big boot for two.

A Samoan drop from Jey puts Harper back down but he dives on Rowan instead of hitting the Superfly Splash. Luke hits a suicide dive but Jimmy hits a plancha of his own, only to bang up the ribs a bit more. Back in and the Superfly Splash hits Harper’s knees but the discus lariat is blocked by a superkick for two. Rowan makes a blind tag but Jimmy rolls him up for two. Erick hits Jey with something like Matt Hardy’s Side Effect for the pin at 17:03.

Rating: B. Good stuff here and I can live with the champion losing a bit more here due to the injuries coming in. Harper and Rowan seem destined to take the belts and I don’t think there’s much of an argument against them being champions. The Usos have had a nice run and are a WAY bigger deal than they were when this reign started so it’s done its job.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio

The fans are WAY into Dolph here and he quickly takes Alberto down for the ten elbow drops. Alberto nails the Codebreaker to the arm and the running arm kick in the corner gets two. A belly to back suplex gets the same on Dolph before we hit the armbar. Ziggler fights back with right hands and the Fameasser for two. The top rope X Factor gets another near fall but the cross armbreaker out of nowhere sends Del Rio to Money in the Bank at 5:31.

Rating: C. The match was the usual between these two but man I was hoping to see Ziggler get in there. The guy is over and there’s nothing wrong with throwing him into a big multiman match. On the other hand we have Alberto Del Rio who keeps finding new ways to be uninteresting. I haven’t cared about him in a long time and that’s not getting any better.

Goldust/Sin Cara vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Cara is Cody’s handpicked partner for his brother. Goldust and Axel get things going with Curtis getting caught in a quick armbar. It’s quickly off to Ryback who takes over as the heels take turns on the golden one. Axel hits his middle rope elbow but Ryback’s middle rope splash hits knees. The hot tag brings in Sin Cara to clean house but he eventually misses a dive, allowing Axel to hit the neckbreaker into a cutter for the pin at 7:10.

Rating: D+. How in the world did this match go that long? It was nothing to see at all and it’s just part of a story with Cody and Goldust until we get to their feud. I’d assume we’ll see more partners for Goldust until Cody realizes that it’s really Goldust who is the problem. I’ve heard worse stories.

Here’s Lana to brag about Edward Snowden and how great he is for Russia. She brings out Rusev for a medal presentation for his great accomplishments. The Russian government agent of course speaks English as he gives Rusev the Golden Star. The Russian national anthem plays and no one interferes.

Bray Wyatt returns on Smackdown, after a full four days away.

We look at the opening segment for the fourth time tonight. It’s 10:59 and the main event introductions haven’t started yet so we’re looking at a quick match.

Bray Wyatt returns on Smackdown, after a full four days away.

We look at the opening segment for the fourth time tonight. It’s 10:59 and the main event introductions haven’t started yet so we’re looking at a quick match.

Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton

Before the match, Ambrose says they’re all banged up but they feel great. They did what they said would do last night though and didn’t suffer a single casualty. Rollins says theyw on because they were facing three men who happened to be in the same corner. Reigns says the three of them are brothers. He waves his arms around and says this is Evolution, but the fist is the Shield. Reigns says get out here so the symbol of excellence can break Orton’s jaw. HHH comes out with Orton and carrying a sledgehammer, so Rollins heads out for some chairs.

HHH says what he does best is adapt. Last night was plan A, but tonight is plan B. He looks at the hammer as he says this and says there’s always a plan B. Shield is ready to fight but Rollins turns on them, blasting Reigns in the back with a chair. Ambrose is STUNNED but gets nailed as well. So much for the team.

Rollins literally breaks the chair over Ambrose’s back and hits the curb stomp to put Ambrose face first into the good chair. He hand sit to Orton for more shots to Reigns but Roman won’t stay down. That’s fine with Randy as he goes Steve Austin on him with about ten shots to the back and ribs. The Elevated DDT on the chair lets the new Evolution stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show felt a step off all night. It’s like they didn’t know what they wanted to do and it showed badly. The main event stuff with Evolution was fine and it’s an easy way to write off Batista before he comes back after the summer. Other than that though I’m not sure what they’re setting up, as Cena vs. the Authority has mostly been done, but it didn’t feel like that’s where they’re going. Stephanie is great in this heel role and her cockiness in the promo was great.

Results
Rob Van Dam/Sheamus b. Cesaro/Bad News Barrett – Five Star Frog Splash to Barrett
Bo Dallas b. Kofi Kingston – Bodog
John Cena b. Kane via DQ when Kane wouldn’t stop attacking in the corner
Los Matadores b. 3MB – Rollup to Slater
Aksana/Alicia Fox b. Nikkia Bella – Ax kick
Adam Rose b. Jack Swagger – Party Foul
Wyatt Family b. Usos – Sitout spinebuster to Jey
Ryback/Curtis Axel b. Goldust/Sin Cara – Neckbreaker into a cutter to Cara

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The pre-show match was another interesting comedy match. As I mentioned in the review, it helps a lot that Hornswoggle and Torito are capable of having a watchable match. There’s likely going to be a third match with an angry Hornswoggle on his own (or on his own soon after) wanting revenge and after their first two efforts have gone so well, I’m totally fine with that, much to my own shock.

The opening match was Sheamus defending the US Title against Cesaro. This was exactly what an opening match was supposed to be: a good way of getting the fans into a show. There are multiple ways to do that and having two guys beat the tar out of each other for about twelve minutes is one way to do that. It worked really well with both guys one upping each other until the very end. Cesaro looked great and didn’t lose much in the loss, as it’s Sheamus rather than like Kofi or someone beneath him.

Cody/Goldust lost to Ryback/Axel in a bonus match which was little more than a Raw match. The only point to this was to split up the Brothers and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Rusev went over Big E. in what was just a step above a squash. At least Big E. got to hit the big spear spot to salvage this. Nothing bad but it was exactly what was expected.

The Money in the Bank promo has talking money. It’s better than that same song again though.

Bo Dallas vs. Kofi Kingston never happened as Kane interfered. Yeah it’ll be called a no contest, but when someone interferes and attacks one and only one of the people in the match, that’s a DQ. It won’t be remembered as such, but that’s what it was.

Barrett beat Rob Van Dam in another match that had a pretty obvious ending. That being said, it was still a nice back and forth match with both guys getting in a lot of their big spots. This is exactly what Van Dam should be used for: giving people a good match and then jobbing clean as a sheet. It was a step above a good Raw match and was fine for a PPV title defense. Barrett’s push continues, though it makes the loss to Sheamus all the more pointless.

Next up was Bryan/Stephanie/Brie over Bryan’s World Title. This was a well done segment as Bryan was ready to give the belts up and did the long look at them, but Brie stood up to Stephanie and said she was tired of being controlled. Brie wound up quitting and slapping Stephanie in the face before leaving. Given that the Bellas are easy to tell apart now, there’s not as much of a need for both of them to be on the roster anymore. Nikki will be fine with her shouts of COME ON to crickets. All the good people looked solid here and Stephanie got embarrassed so points all around. Bryan is still champion in theory but I don’t know how long that’s going to last.

This brings us to the first of the two main event matches. Cena beat Bray Wyatt in a last man standing match and I’m still not sure how I feel about it. The match was a great brawl but the controversial point is the ending. At the end of the day, it felt more like Cena used his mind instead of brutality to beat Bray, even though the AA through the box was a big move. The problem is it goes against the point of the match. It’s nowhere near as anti-last man standing as the Batista duct tape nonsense but it didn’t work for me.

On top of that there’s the whole Usos/Wyatt Family interference, as the match basically stopped for the sake of a mini tag team match between the four of them. It was entertaining, but I lost track of where Cena and Wyatt were during the match. Either way, the brawling was good, the ending wasn’t great, and Wyatt continues to have awesome matches in the main event spots.

Paige beat Alicia Fox in a boring match. Fox’s push will likely continue but Paige shouldn’t lose the belt for awhile, especially not to Fox.

That brings us to the main event with Shield sweeping Evolution in an elimination match. This worked but could have cut out five minutes or so to make it much better. The big problem I had with this was the second section, as about ten to fifteen minutes were a waste of time. As mentioned last night, why in the world are they tagging when ANYTHING GOES? The worst part of this was when Orton is trying to stop a tag and gives HHH A FREAKING PEP TALK instead of breaking it up himself. The whole thing just didn’t make sense.

Now to be fair it got much better as the match went on and they got to the violence, but this really didn’t work for the first part. That kind of stuff drives me crazy, especially when you have smart wrestlers in there. It wasn’t like they didn’t know what they were doing and we had to hear about HHH being all Cerebral and smart, but then he doesn’t know that he can do whatever he wants?

The great stuff later on was solid though as Shield came off looking great. They flat out defeated Evolution last night and that’s all they were supposed to do. It was a really solid match with Reigns getting two of the pins, Ambrose getting the fall over Orton and Rollins getting the big spot of the match. Again, Shield looked like equals rather than people Evolution was reaching down to help. It wasn’t as good as it was supposed to be, but it worked well enough.

Overall Payback was awesome with the two main events more than delivering and the worst match being the totally watchable Divas Title match. What else can you ask for from a major PPV? WWE is in a weird place right now as they can nail the big shows but the TV is hit and miss to say the least. There’s a lot of hope for the future though and that’s more important than some lame Raws.

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Brie wound up quitting (and slapping Stephanie HARD) so Stephanie couldn’t control her. In theory Bryan is still champion, but there’s no word on when he’ll be able to compete again. There was a rumor that Brie wanted to start a family so this might be a way to write her off TV.

The reaction I’ve seen to last night’s show seems to be that it was one of, if not the worst episode of all time. This blew my mind as it may not have been the best show in the world but it couldn’t have been THAT bad. Let’s get to it.

Later in the night, Bryan came out and said he could give up the title, but it would be a slap in the face of everyone that had ever cheered for him while admitting that the Authority had been right. He said he wouldn’t do it, but Stephanie brought up a clip of Brie Bella shoving her a few weeks ago. If Bryan doesn’t give up the title on Sunday, Brie gets fired.

This is one of those moments that made perfect sense and sets up the drama that you need for the segment on Sunday and the moment will be good. I’m not sure where they’re going to go, but I can’t imagine Bryan is going to keep the title with him possibly being out all summer. At the end of the day they’ll probably put it up in Money in the Bank and that makes perfect sense for this situation.

The other good thing to come out of the opening segment was Brad Maddox being fired as Raw GM. Maddox isn’t terrible as a personality and has a future as a backstage guy or commentator, but there’s no need for anyone to be Raw GM right now. With the Authority around, anybody as Raw GM is going to look worthless. The GM’s have been worthless for eight months or so now so getting rid of Brad and eventually Vickie won’t hurt at all.

The first match was Cesaro beating Rob Van Dam thanks to Bad News Barrett interfering. This is my normal complaint: the #1 contender to the Intercontinental Title gets pinned six days before his title shot. Sheamus ran out to beat up Cesaro post match, making me see what they should have done: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Barrett/Van Dam. At least with Van Dam he’s over to the point that a loss isn’t going to hurt him. Also Cesaro is getting that German suplex over as a secondary finisher which is a rare thing anymore.

Next up was the first of two Divas matches and I’ll look at them one at a time. First up we had Eva Marie pinning Summer Rae due to a distraction by Fandango and Layla. Eva and Summer have been feuding on Total Divas, which you need to watch to get the details. On the other hand you have Summer and Layla feuding because of something that happened on Raw. This leads to a problem with the Divas and Total Divas. The latter feud shows the problem with this.

If you watch Total Divas, you see the logic behind why Summer Rae screwed over Eva in the tag match on the show: Eva is terrible. She can’t wrestle, she’s there because of a reality show and how she looks in shorts, and she would drag down any team she’s in. It’s stupid, but at least it makes sense. That being said, we’re supposed to cheer for Eva because she’s some young tough girl that is trying to achieve something. We’re of course supposed to ignore how evil she is on the show.

On the other hand we have Summer chasing after Fandango, but if you watch Total Divas you would see them going on a date “in real life”, and them having ZERO chemistry and agreeing to just be friends. But now this is their “wrestling” life and there are feelings and a breakup there.

In other words, you need to watch Total Divas to understand one story but if you watch the show, the other story isn’t going to make sense. Hence the problem with the whole show.

Now we get to a match that was causing some issues with fans. El Torito beat Drew McIntyre, which fans called ridiculous, stupid and not believable. I don’t even know where to start on this. Time for a list!

1. Drew McIntyre hasn’t won a singles match on WWE TV since September 2012 when he won on Superstars. His last singles win on Smackdown was in March 2012 when he beat Hornswoggle. His last singles win on Raw was FOUR YEARS AGO. Drew McIntyre is a jobber. He’s been a jobber for years, he’s going to be a jobber for a long time to come, but because he loses ONE MATCH, it’s ridiculous? Yeah it’s to a comedy character, but that brings me to point #2.

2. Drew McIntyre is part of a comedy stable. 3MB is nothing but a comedy group and has been since the day they debuted. They’re in a war against a group that is only slightly more serious, and the real story is about a leprechaun vs. a half man/half bull who just had a WeeLC match with mini announcers and a mini ladder. But none of this works because a guy that hasn’t won a match on Raw in four years lost to a comedy character isn’t ok. Santino uses a freaking sock to beat a former World Champion, but Torito pins a jobber and the people are calling it completely unrealistic?

3. Where was this OUTRAGE when Torito pinned Slater on Smackdown a few weeks back?

4. Did I mention the pin on Drew wasn’t clean? Even still though, it’s time to freak out because a comedy character pinned a jobber.

Then Hornswoggle pulled off Torito’s tail, setting up a mask vs. hair match on Sunday. Is it stupid? Yes. Is it goofy? Yes. Is it for children? Yes. Is it something anyone should be mad about? Of course not, but they will anyway. I actually smiled at this a bit as they’re coming up on a match that actually makes sense in the feud. It’s cute and on a free show so why not?

That brings us to the big Wyatt promo this week. Bray did his usual stuff of calling Cena a hypocrite before moving over to Jerry Lawler. Jerry didn’t getin the ring but the Family beat up JBL and took Lawler into the ring. Bray asked Jerry if he had any issues with lying about Cena’s career and never bringing up anything that questioned Cena. Lawler didn’t mind, but the Wyatts threatened to attack him until Cena and the Usos made the save. Cena called Bray a hypocrite for attacking an innocent man who disagreed with what Bray thought.

This was the thing that WWE has needed to do for months now: have Bray do something evil. For months and months all we’ve been told is that Bray Wyatt is evil, but he hasn’t really done anything evil. Until people see him do something evil, like attacking a legend who had a heart attack live on TV two years ago and is in his early 60s, there’s no reason to boo him. Now people are seeing what’s behind the evil smile and there’s a reason to boo him. Notice the fans cheering for Cena as soon as he pointed all that stuff out about Wyatt. It can work.

Rusev beat up Ryder until Big E. made the save and waved the American flag on Memorial Day. Yeah Big E. is going to get mauled on Sunday in the yet to be advertised match, but this worked well and made Big E. look good for awhile. Speaking of looking good, I swoon over Lana more every time I see her.

Stephanie was talking to Alberto Del Rio about nothing that ever came up again.

Batista/Randy Orton beat the Rhodes Brothers in an elimination match. This didn’t mean anything and the elimination rule was thrown in at the last minute. The match made perfect sense and made Batista and Orton look good.

Bo Dallas beat Sin Cara just like he did on Smackdown. He isn’t great in the ring, but Dallas’ character is going to be amazing if they use him right.

Emma beat Alicia Fox in a nothing match. Post match, Alicia freaked out (again) and shouted that she was NOT a loser while ringing the bell and pouring soda over herself. I have no idea if this is going anywhere but Emma winning was rather questionable.

Then Damien Sandow dressed up as Davy Crockett and lost to Adam Rose. This is a hard one to defend so I won’t try, but I have no idea why anyone expected Sandow to remain a serious character. Rose and Swagger continued their feud with Rose getting the upper hand again. I’m also not sure why Rose didn’t debut against Swagger on Sunday.

We got the same Sheamus match we always get: Sheamus gets beaten up, there’s no reason for him to win, then he hits a Brogue Kick out of nowhere for the pin. Post match he was attacked by Cesaro to set up an injury angle though so maybe he loses the belt on Sunday.

The final segment of the night was the contract signing between Shield and Evolution. First and foremost, let’s look at the contract itself. This is a picture of what was on the paper last night.