Prime Time Wrestling – June 17, 1987: Why Did I Wait So Long?

Prime Time Wrestling
Date: June 17, 1987
Hosts: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan
Commentators: Dick Graham, Lord Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Vince McMahon, Gorilla Monsoon, Bruno Sammartino

Oh boy it’s Prime Time. This was one of the big shows from the WWF, as it featured various matches from major house shows. That might not sound like much, but at the time, this was a pretty awesome deal. What makes it better is Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan as the hosts, giving us the legendary banter that made them one of the best duos of all time. This is from my favorite era in wrestling so hopefully I can have some fun with some of these. Let’s get to it.

This is a special Wednesday edition (as opposed to Monday) and dig that old desk with the old WWF toys!

Gorilla and Heenan (in a neck brace) welcome us to the show and run down the card, with Gorilla saying Brutus Beefcake could give Heenan a trim. Heenan says there is no way he’ll get back in the ring, even after his neck heals. To the ring!

From May 9, 1987 in at the Philadelphia Spectrum.

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Man these guys were fighting more than a year ago at Wrestlemania II. Kirschner charges the ring to prevent the Russian National Anthem and gets hit with the flag pole for his efforts. Kirschner comes back in and hammers away as Graham is already a bit rough to sit through. It’s like his voice is in slow motion. Volkoff gets in a cheap shot and ties him into the Tree of Woe (In 1987?) for a running knee to the ribs.

That’s enough for Kirschner to need a breather on the floor, with Volkoff following for a slam. A running knee keeps Kirschner outside and it works so well that Volkoff does it again. The third attempt earns Volkoff a crotching against the post and we take a break (with Monsoon and Heenan chiming in for a few seconds).

Back with no time having passed and Kirschner dropping a leg between the legs, plus a middle rope elbow for two. Volkoff is back up with a spinning kick to the ribs and a drop across the top like an evil Russian would. Some whips into the corner set up a bearhug (as is Volkoff’s custom), followed by a quick bow and arrow to stay on the back. That’s broken up so Kirschner dropkicks him to the floor and follows him out to hammer away. Back in and an elbow drop gives Kirschner two but he misses a charge into the corner. Volkoff is right back up with the gorilla press backbreaker for the pin at 10:17.

Rating: D+. This was pretty rough as they seemed to run out of things to do to each other by the end. It’s not like these two were exactly cut out for a longer match and it didn’t work out all that well in this case. Kirschner wasn’t exactly great in the ring, but he was so tough that no one was going to tell him no. You don’t get many people like that, but he was kind of done when he replaced Sgt. Slaughter but was a lower rank.

Bobby Heenan thinks Kirschner never had a chance but Monsoon doesn’t buy it. Monsoon moves on to Heenan signing the Islanders, which has Heenan rather proud. That makes sense to Monsoon, because Heenan is going to take all of their money.

It’s time for….a segment that doesn’t seem to have a name but tells you what is going on at the moment. We open with the Islanders having a technical match with the Can-Am Connection until Heenan showed up, which caused the Islanders to beat the fire out of them. A headbutt from the apron knocked Tom Zenk silly for a countout and Heenan was rather pleased.

Heenan is all fired up about his new team and wants the Tag Team Titles. Heenan: “I’VE DONE IT AGAIN!”

Back in the studio, Monsoon asks why Heenan has to turn everything into a big deal and why he couldn’t just say he has signed the team. Heenan says he likes the shock value, which sends Monsoon into a video on Superstar Billy Graham trying to learn how to walk again after a variety of injuries. Heenan can’t help it and goes into a series of jokes about how Graham can’t sue anyone because he doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

We go to the Arizona desert where Graham is moving around on a walker, as he talks about how he needs to get back. We also see him going through some rather tough physical therapy but Graham has insisted that he’ll be back.

Monsoon and Heenan talk about a FREE calendar you can get….if you’re one of 100 post cards they select. This was a move they would do every now and then to restock their mailing list and it’s kind of brilliant.

I think this is from May 13, 1987 at the Sports Arena in San Diego, California but it’s not clear. It also seems to be from Wrestling Challenge, which wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for Prime Time.

New Dream Team vs. Young Stallions

The New Dream Team (Dino Bravo/Greg Valentine) have Johnny V in their corner. Bravo drives Roma into the corner to start but he’s right back up with a dropkick, meaning the Dream Team needs a breather on the floor. We get a quick inset promo from the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers promising to be everywhere the Dream Team goes. Except here it seems.

Back in and Valentine takes over on Roma, including a suplex for two. A middle rope ax handle to the back sets up a jumping elbow for two but Valentine misses his big forearm. The hot tag brings in Powers to clean house, only to have Bravo get in a cheap shot from the apron. Valentine drops an elbow for the pin at 4:23.

Rating: D+. Well that was short. This wasn’t much of a match as it was mainly the Dream Team beating on Roma until Powers got to come in for a few seconds at the end. Commentary was hyping up the Stallions as future stars and then they just lose. I get that the Dream Team was new, but it was a weird way to go given the commentary.

Heenan is glad the Dream Team got rid of Brutus Beefcake but Monsoon doesn’t think Heenan’s memory is quite right.

Ken Patera is happy that he is out of prison and has paid his debt to society. Now all he wants is a second chance but that isn’t going to include Bobby Heenan. While Patera was in jail, Heenan was nowhere to be seen because weasels don’t make it through tough times.

Heenan says he doesn’t feel sorry for Patera (who put him in the neck brace), because Patera is the one who landed himself in jail. That ended their relationship and Heenan doesn’t care what happened to Patera’s family. Now Patera is blaming him, so Heenan will be taking care of him soon.

From the Philadelphia Spectrum on May 9.

Pedro Morales vs. Steve Lombardi

It’s weird seeing Lombardi without a shirt. Said shirtless Lombardi runs away from Morales to start as Pedro is all fired up (as is his custom). Back in and Lombardi forearms away, earning himself a slam from Morales. That’s enough for Lombardi to bail to the floor again as more breathing is needed. Back in again and Morales hits another slam, meaning Lombardi heads outside for the third time in less than three minutes.

Lombardi gets in again and this time claims a sore back to stall even more. Therefore we pause for some stretching before Lombardi misses a right hand and gets atomic dropped out to the floor (again). This time Lombardi comes back in with a rake to the eyes and a ram into the buckle but commentary isn’t buying Lombardi as a threat. On cue, Morales hits him in the ribs and adds a backdrop, setting up a backbreaker for the pin at 5:47.

Rating: D. This was a good example of a match that worked well for the live crowd but wasn’t much if you’re not a big Morales fan. It’s also a lesson in how to get through a match without doing much, as this was more than half Lombardi stalling on the floor. They didn’t bother trying to do anything more than the minimum here, which wasn’t the most thrilling stuff. The live fans seemed to like it though and that was the point of something like this.

Monsoon is glad that Heenan wasn’t around as a manager when he was in the ring. He knows Heenan would dump any of his clients at the drop of a hat, just like Patera. As you might expect, Heenan shrugs off the suggestions and we move on.

From the Convention Center in Anaheim, California on May 12, 1987. This seems to be from the June 6 Superstars.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Tim Patterson

Monsoon and Heenan make Pat Patterson/Terry Garvin jokes about Patterson in their intro for the not so subtle jabs. Brutus gets his own inset promo, promising to give the New Dream Team another cut. Patterson gets punched and slammed down to start as commentary talks about Beefcake’s gear. Vince: “Barbers are a little eccentric in general aren’t they?” The beating continues as commentary talks about Honky Tonk Man getting an undeserved Intercontinental Title shot next week. I’m sure that won’t go anywhere. Patterson fights back with some running shoulders but Beefcake is back with the sleeper at 2:40.

Post match, Patterson gets a haircut, possibly for taking a long time to go down from the sleeper.

Monsoon and Heenan bicker over how legitimate of a neck injury Heenan really has.

Gene Okerlund talks to Slick, who has quite the fashion sense. Slick says Gene has high class opinions of high class people and calls Gene “Holmes” before threatening to smack him in the head. Nikolai Volkoff and Butch Reed come in, with Slick saying they are the best of the best around. Reed thinks there are some jive turkeys running around here like Tito Santana and Junkyard Dog. Those people are trying to take money from him, and he gets mean when he has money. Volkoff thinks Americans should be proud that he is here in America. Buy Russian war bonds! This is still one of the oddest groupings ever and it’s great.

From the San Diego Sports Arena, May 13, 1987.

Don Muraco/Bob Orton Jr. vs. Sivi Afi/Corporal Kirschner

Mr. Fuji is here with Muraco and Orton and why are we getting two Kirschner matches on one show? Afi shoves Orton outside to start and it’s time for an early breather. Back in and Afi no sells some rams into the buckle (he’s foreign so he has a hard head you see) so it’s off to Kirschner. This means a discussion of being drafted, with Heenan saying he was 3Q, meaning too smart for the military. He could have been a six star general if he had actually gone in though, which Monsoon somehow manages to no sell.

Orton sends Kirschner outside and a distraction lets Muraco get in a cane shot to take over. A top rope shot to the back drops Kirschner again as Monsoon talks about how Kirschner has been pretty worthless as of late. It’s back to Afi, who gets taken down with a neckbreaker but comes right back with a high crossbody.

Kirschner gets to come in and glare at Muraco, setting up a clothesline. A dropkick sends Muraco over to Orton, who cuts Kirschner off with an atomic drop as Heenan praises the villains’ intelligence (kind of his thing). Muraco sends Kirschner into an elbow from Orton but it’s off to Afi anyway. The pace picks up for all of ten seconds before Muraco charges into a powerslam. What would become known as the Tombstone finishes Afi at 7:19.

Rating: D+. Muraco and Orton weren’t going to be the top team but they were fine as a pair of villains to give an up and coming team some trouble. That wasn’t exactly what they had here, making this a fairly long and not entirely squashy squash. Then again, what are you expecting from the forces of Afi and Kirschner?

Monsoon likes the new WWF Magazine, including a look at Ken Patera. Heenan wants to know where the prison number is.

Monsoon and Heenan introduce a women’s tag match and Heenan has no idea who they are.

From the Boston Garden on March 8, 1986.

Crush Girls vs. Donna Christianello/Judy Martin

Well this is a surprise. The Crush Girls (normally Gals) are Lioness Asuka/Chigusa Nagayo and in short, Christianello/Martin are going to be in a lot of pain. Nagayo isn’t having any of this getting hammerlocked thing and takes Christianello down into a hammerlock of her own. It’s back to Martin, who has to avoid Asuka’s kick to the head. Asuka gets the better of an exchange of kicks to the ribs and it’s a very fast sunset flip for two.

Christianello comes back in for a front facelock but a forearm sends Asuka over to Nagayo as Hayes can’t keep track of these names. An elbow to the head sends Martin outside and she looks rather scared of what she’s gotten herself into. Back in and Christianello offers a handshake, which of course suckers Asuka in so the villains can take over. We take a break and come back with Martin elbowing Asuka in the face, only to have her nip right back up.

Nagayo comes back in but gets kicked in the chest for a quick knockdown. Some choking in the corner has Nagayo in more trouble as commentary brags about all of the international media here. A few right hands allow the tag off to Asuka though and it’s time to clean house in a hurry. Asuka dropkicks Martin and hits a slam for two as the beating is on.

Nagayo gets on the middle rope so she can be tagged in (you know Monsoon isn’t having that) and it’s a Sharpshooter as Monsoon can’t remember if Nagayo is a tiger or a lioness (with Hayes having to make the save). Asuka accidentally clotheslines Nagayo down but they’re both back up for a double punch (I think?) to Martin’s ribs. A bunch of elbows keep Martin….well not really in trouble as she pops up to hit Asuka in the face. Christianello comes in and gets caught in a giant swing for the pin at 15:31.

Rating: C+. This is such an odd match, not just for the participants but also the fact that it got some serious time. You don’t see modern women’s matches breaking fifteen minutes but here you have this one, in 1986 no less, getting far more time than anything else on the show. Martin and Christianello weren’t exactly a seasoned team like the Girls, but dang this was a fun surprise.

Heenan claims to be on the phone with the Crush Girls before moving on to this week’s main event. Monsoon asks what George Steele has to do to get by Kamala, and Heenan suggests buying a machine gun. Or give up during the instructions. Then the Hogan figure on the desk falls over, which Heenan says is how he’ll be kneeling before King Harley Race. That’s the kind of quick wit that made Heenan a legend.

From the Philadelphia Spectrum on May 9.

Kamala vs. George Steele

Kim Chee and Mr. Fuji are here with Kamala. Steele looks confused (as is his nature) but he knows to avoid a charging Kamala as the bell rings. A few right hands put Kamala on the floor and it’s time for an early breather. Kim Chee gives some instructions (“Don’t look directly at the hairy chest.”) and Steele scares Kamala right back into the ropes. Steele starts poking at Kamala, who runs off again as this isn’t exactly an action packed spectacle.

Back in and Steele destroys a turnbuckle so Kamala runs away from the pieces of padding. Kim Chee’s distraction finally lets Kamala get in a shot from behind and Steele goes shoulder first into the exposed buckle. Since Kamala doesn’t quite know how to follow up, Steele grabs a foreign object to knock Kamala silly. Another Kim Chee distraction, this time in the form of a trip, lets Kamala hit a splash but a top rope version misses. Steele, ever the easily distracted one, chases Kim Chee off and that’s a countout at 6:03.

Rating: D+. I know it wasn’t very good and was little more than a comedy match, but this was the kind of goofy fun that I like from a show like this one. This was a lot better than seeing these two try to have a regular match and it’s nice to see that they understood the limitations they were under. Not a good match, but it was entertaining in a wacky way.

Post match Steele comes back with Kim Chee’s cane and pith helmet. He hits Kamala in the ribs with one and puts another on his head. I’m assuming you know which is which.

Heenan doesn’t think much of Steele but Monsoon isn’t convinced.

Try to get that calendar!

Heenan wants to tell us what’s coming next Wednesday but finds out that they’re going back to the regular Monday time to mess with him one more time.

Roll credits.

Overall Rating: C-. Prime Time Wrestling isn’t a show you often go to for classic action, but I had a great time with this. It was the big show of its day and you could see some of the top stars and goings on of the time. I’ll be doing some more of these, just for the sake of having some fun. That’s what wrestling is often supposed to be and that’s what I was getting out of this, despite it not having the best wrestling in the world.

 

 

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Wrestler of the Day – October 24: Steve Lombardi

Steve Lombardi vs. Iron Sheik

Sheik bows to Blassie before we get going. A few kicks to the ribs and the camel clutch end this quick. The match ran about 30 seconds.

Off to a pretty famous show with the Brawl To End It All.

Battle Royal

Sika, Luis Rivera, Butcher Vachon, Antonio Inoki, Tony Garea, Jay Strongbow, Afa, Steve Lombardi, Dick Murdoch, Bob Orton, Adrian Adonis, Rene Goulet, Ron Shaw, Charlie Fulton, Terry Daniels, Iron Sheik, Tito Santana, Paul Orndorff, Sgt. Slaughter, Samu

This is of the 20 man persuasion and is the last match before we go on MTV. In other words, everyone that was on the card tonight other than Hogan and Valentine and Backlund plus three other guys that I don’t feel like figuring out. Slaughter goes right after Sheik and of course it’s too nuts to really call. Lombardi is out. Orndorff’s tights say O. P. Isn’t that backwards?

Orndorff is gone as Gene isn’t on commentary here. Strongbow is out and looks very old. Slaughter and Daniels are partners so they’re working together. Orton hits the floor twice but never over the top. Ok scratch that as he and Sheik are gone. Scratch that scratching as Orton is still in. Vachon is out.

This is of course very slow paced with not much going on at all. Adonis is gone and he’s ticked off about it. And of course he won’t leave. He’s still a biker dude at this point. Murdoch is gone and won’t leave either. Ok so he’s not out. This is confusing. Fulton is out. Not a lot is happening at all here. The Samoans are dominating for the most part.

Ok so Adonis is still in too? What the heck is going on? He goes out AGAIN but through the second rope this time. Shaw was eliminated and is back in anyway. Santana keeps Goulet from putting Slaughter out. Adonis, Slaughter and Murdoch all go out in about 4 seconds. There are about 10 left. Afa goes out and that gives us ten.

Tito is out and so is Sika. Rivera goes out and I can’t really tell who is left. Daniels gets us down to six when he goes out. Samu goes out I think and it’s Inoki, Goulet, Orton, Shaw and Garea. If you can’t get the winner from that list you have no business reading this list. Enziguri puts out Orton in some of the funniest selling I can ever remember. Garea is put out, leaving only Inoki as a face in there. Heel miscommunication puts Shaw out and Inoki wins easily.

Rating: D. Boring match here but the crowd was hot for it. This was just to give the fans something to get excited about as we went to the MTV show. Battle royals are usually solid for getting a crowd going and this was no exception. Boring match but the crowd liked it so I guess it did its job.

Off to the Superstars era, starting on January 24, 1987.

Steve Lombardi vs. Koko B. Ware

LET THE JOBBERS EXPLODE! Lombardi would become the Brooklyn Brawler soon enough. He beats up Roma who is still there after getting beaten down. That’s probably his biggest accomplishment of the decade. Fink does another voiceover and advertises Special Delivery Jones.

Dang that card must have sucked. Lombardi hits a decent spinning neckbreaker. Not bad at all. Koko has a muscle shirt on which looks very odd on him. The darker skinned jobber takes over and looks completely stupid. Lombardi is tough apparently. Koko hits the missile dropkick after WAY too long of an amount of time on offense to get the win.

Rating: C-. Longer match here but not terrible I guess. It’s fine for what it was is a good way to put this. The fans seemed to boo the ending though which is rather odd to say the least. Boring stuff but not terrible at all. At the ending of the day though, Brawler probably should be in the Hall of Fame over Ware and that says a lot.

And again on February 7 of the same year.

Outback Jack vs. Steve Lombardi

Seriously, how did I never make this guy OCW Champion (a lot of you won’t get that reference)? Don’t you always love how over the top wrestlers and characters like Jim and Jack have such great wrestling training? Isn’t that amusing? Lombardi gets some offense in here and controls for a few seconds. Jack is really bad. He wins with a bulldog that would be called a clothesline to the back of the head later named the Boomerang. Now if he used a clothesline to the front, he could be world champion for 9 months.

Rating: F+. It went long enough and wasn’t a total squash. That being said, it was just boring. Yeah Piper’s Pit is next and it’s kind of the biggest angle ever so that’s all you get here.

Some happier times on February 11, 1989 with Lombardi now known as the Brooklyn Brawler.

Red Rooster vs. Brooklyn Brawler

Best of? Seriously? Oh these commentators could make my head hurt. I think we’re in Philadelphia here but I’m not positive. This was a feud coming off of Mania and Rooster rebelling against Heenan, so Bobby sent Brawler after him. Yeah there’s a reason why he never went anywhere. Brawler is a force to be reckoned with apparently. That’s just comical. He’s not a great wrestler though. Hayes is annoying as all goodness a lot of the time.

Again, this is on the Best of the WWF…why? Hayes’ latest great insight is that Brawler is a brawler. Oh that makes my head hurt. We get a close up of the Brawler and Hayes says he’s not a very good looking man. This is closing in on ten minutes and it’s just bare bones stuff. I think someone hit a hip toss for the biggest move of the match. Rooster gets a sunset flip for the pin and next to no reaction.

Rating: D. For the Brawler, this would indeed be considered better times. Oh man this was boring. Just WAY too long for a match with the Brooklyn Brawler in there. Also I can’t stand Terry Taylor so that has something to do with it also. I know you can have a decent match with really basic moves, but this wasn’t it.

Another jump forward to MSG on December 29, 1991.

Chris Walker vs. Brooklyn Brawler

Walker is some muscle head that I’m sure Vince, ahem, enjoyed a few times in order to get a job. He’s awful as Brawler carries him to a bad match. I shudder to think what it would have been like without him. Walker looks a bit like Kerry Von Erich if he was more muscular. The guy can jump though. This is his debut apparently.

Brawler takes over for a bit and gets in his jobber offense. Gorilla wants Hulk to win the Rumble. Well of course he does. Did Gorilla EVER cheer against Hogan? Even against other faces? Walker looks good and that’s all he has going for him it seems. Small package gets two. Top rope cross body ends Brawler.

Off to Wrestling Challenge on March 27, 1993.

Mr. Perfect vs. Brooklyn Brawler

Perfect yells at Heenan on the way in which is kind of funny. He has Luger at Mania. Heenan is complaining about the toga aspect of Mania already. This is from the WWE Classics channel so the far more interesting part is the crawl on the bottom of the screen giving all kinds of old school title changes. In a pop up interview, Luger says hes looking forward to one week from now. Brawler gets in some basic offense but the Perfectplex ends this in two minutes or so.

Time for a new gimmick on Wrestling Challenge on September 25, 1994 as the Brawler becomes a walking baseball. Just go with it.

Abe Knuckleball Schwarts vs. George Anderson

Another jump to March 24, 1997 on Raw.

Flash Funk vs. Brooklyn Brawler

The Rock vs. Brooklyn Brawler

From Smackdown on July 6, 2000.

HHH vs. Brooklyn Brawler/Kaientai

Another jump to Vengeance 2003.

Bar Room Brawl

Shannon Moore, Doink the Clown, Faarooq, Bradshaw, Brother Love, Nunzio, Matt Hardy, Chris Kanyon, Danny Basham, Doug Basham, The Easter Bunny, Sean O’Haire, John Hennigan, Orlando Jordan, Funaki, Los Conquistadores, The Brooklyn Brawler, Johnny Stamboli, Chuck Palumbo, Matt Cappotelli, and Spanky.

There’s a bar set up in the arena and we’re just going to fight in there. Los Conquistadores are Rob Conway and Johnny Jeter in case you’re wondering. Aaron Stevens is the Easter Bunny. He was on Smackdown for a cup of coffee as Idol Stevens in like 05 or 06. McCool managed him. John Hennigan is more commonly known as John Morrison, and this Doink is played by Nick “Eugene” Dinsmore.

In essence, this is a big OVW party as a ton of these guys were in OVW at the time. Most of the jobbers don’t get intros. Spanky is up on the bar dancing. Bradshaw says the rules are that the last man drinking wins as we’re testing the toughness and their livers. Ok that’s creative. Brother Love wants to pray before we start. Naturally it’s just a massive fight with no rhyme or reason to it. The Easter Bunny is drinking bears and getting punched. This is wrong.

O’Haire beats the APA up with pool cues. This is idiotic. Brother Love beats up Shannon Moore. I’d think that sums up why no one buys him. The Easter Bunny goes through a window. A bunny watching this would be traumatized for life. Hardy can’t break a table which is kind of funny.

There’s nothing of any kind of logic going on here at all. Funaki passes out from beer. Bradshaw beats up Brother Love and I guess that gives him the win. He’s the last man standing even though Farroorq is standing next to him.

Rating: N/A. This was a waste of about 5 minutes. Moving on.

And again to ECW on SyFy on August 1, 2006.

Brooklyn Brawler vs. Kurt Angle

Ankle lock. Do you really need another detail?

From Raw on July 12, 2010. Sadly enough I was there for this.

Santino Bunch vs. Regal Bunch

Her video is literally nothing but clips from the Brady Bunch. No one under the age of 15 gets this at all as she’s just some old woman. It’s weird seeing a Boyle County (big old corn fed Kentucky high school football team) shirt on WWE TV. Florence is the announcer here and says she’s feeling groovy. It’s Regal, Ryder (with regular tights now), Primo and Doink (I’d bet on Nick Dinsmore, aka Eugene) vs. Santino, Khali, Kozlov and Goldust. That’s actually a fairly accomplished face team.

Henderson gets a MUCH better reaction here than she did in the video earlier. Wow apparently it was Steve Lombardi as Doink, more commonly known as the Brooklyn Brawler. The captains start us off as Santino has been less annoying lately. Florence puts on Regal’s robe and Santino goes Cobra on us. I wonder if he’s Cobra Commander.

It’s a big mess already and here’s Doink. The crowd only cared about him for the sake of comedy. Khali comes in and falls victim to a squirt gun. A big chop ends this in like a minute. Khali’s music really is good. Henderson is a sport here and at least seems like she wants to be there which is a very good thing if nothing else. She kisses Khali afterwards which is disturbing.

Rating: N/A. Although anything with these 8 guys can’t be incredibly good. Thankfully it seems that the guest host concept is ending. Shame it’s only 7 months too late but whatever.

Raw, July 2, 2012.

Heath Slater vs. Doink The Clown

3MB vs. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Brooklyn Brawler

Rating: D. It should have been Ryder. Seriously, what else do you want me to say here?

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