Slamboree 1993
Date: May 23, 1993
Location: The Omni, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 7,008
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

It’s another request and I’ve ignored my list of shows for long enough now. This is billed as A Legends Reunion, meaning we could be in for some older wrestlers stealing the show. That being said, it’s 1993 WCW so I wouldn’t get my hopes up. The main event is Davey Boy Smith challenging Vader for the World Title so the confidence isn’t the strongest. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how the legends are here along with the superstars of today. Cool concept but the execution needs to work.

The legends (and there are a lot of them) are in the ring, including Nick Bockwinkel, Dory Funk Jr., Don Owen, Magnum TA, Lou Thesz Dusty Rhodes and many more.

Commentary welcomes us to the show, with Larry saying that time fears only the pyramids and old wrestlers.

Maxx Payne, with his guitar Norma Jean, plays a bunch of men carrying a covered….I guess the word is throne, to the ring. It’s the Fabulous Moolah, who belongs on a list of legends but it’s WEIRD seeing her in WCW.

Eric Bischoff and Missy Hyatt welcome us to the show and run down part of the card…but the lights go out. Because WCW. Since it’s not good to look at people in the dark (It hurts your eyes, much like watching 1993 WCW), we go to an awkward shot of the legends shuffling out of the ring instead while Eric and Missy keep talking. They do mix it up with some shots of the crowd before going back to Eric and Missy to talk about Vader vs. Bulldog. We move over to the Hollywood Blonds, who Missy finds sexy.

2 Cold Scorpio/Marcus Bagwell vs. Bobby Eaton/Chris Benoit

Benoit was still brand new here, having had a match with Scorpio at SuperBrawl and a few TV matches. Other than that, he was basically a complete unknown on the national stage. Scorpio was one of roughly 34 partners Bagwell had during his three year run as Rookie Of The Year. We get some dancing from the faces to start, with Scorpio being a bit better than Bagwell. Benoit and Scorpio start things off with Scorpio sending him down with some early armdrags.

A spinning middle rope crossbody gets two on Benoit, with Eaton hitting his partner by mistake on the save. The villains are cleared from the ring and we settle down to Bagwell working on Eaton’s arm. Eaton is sent over the top, prompting commentary to try and figure out the over the top rule for the 183^rd time. Benoit is whipped into Eaton before a dropkick puts him on the floor as well.

Back in and Bagwell trades arm control with Eaton, who has Benoit distract the referee so he can throw Bagwell over the top. See that one was illegal because a villain did it and it’s too early for a Dusty Finish (if you have a better way to figure out that stupid rule, have at it). Eaton drops the top rope knee (always looks good) on Bagwell and it’s off to Benoit for that hook clothesline of his. Benoit jumps up to the middle rope for a legdrop before it’s back to Eaton.

That means a distraction so Benoit can choke (You can see Eaton walking them through all of these old southern tag spots and that’s great to watch. There’s an art to this and if you have someone who knows what he’s doing, you can get a heck of a match out of people who don’t have much in the way of characters or a feud.).

Benoit comes in for a belly to back suplex into a figure four necklock, with Eaton being right there to grab the hands for the cheating. The top rope splash hits Bagwell’s raised knees though and the hot tag brings in Scorpio to clean house. Everything breaks down with Eaton having to make a save. Eaton hits Benoit by mistake and it’s the Tumbleweed (moonsault twisting into a legdrop, because Scorpio was doing THAT in 1993) for the pin at 9:25.

Rating: C+. See, now this worked out very well and I had a good time with it because it was a nice mixture. You had Benoit and Scorpio there for all of the cool spots and wrestling, with Eaton there to throw in an old spot which would still work every time to tie it together. If you have the talented people in there and the right mixture of styles, you can have a nice match. Or just have Eaton, because he’s one of the best tag team wrestlers ever.

We recap Colonel Robert Parker being beaten up by Van Hammer for not joining up with the Stud Stable. Parker wants revenge, and this won’t end well.

Sid Vicious vs. Van Hammer

This is Sid’s big return as a surprise and it’s a powerbomb for the pin at 35 seconds. Oh yeah that worked, as tends to be the case when Sid keeps things short.

Bischoff is with Red Bastien (he trained the Undertaker) and Bugsy McGraw (hey did you know that Red Bastien trained the Undertaker). Bastien thinks the wrestlers today are younger and faster while McGraw gives his usual promo about everything. By that I mean he isn’t sure which way to turn, walks around a lot, and rambles because he’s kind of nuts. Eric looks a little confused, as most people do. They say hi to their families, and Bugsy thinks Bischoff has on too much makeup.

Dick Murdoch/Don Muraco/Jimmy Snuka vs. Wahoo McDaniel/Blackjack Mulligan/Jim Brunzell

I would ask if these teams were pulled out of a hat but they very well might be, and that’s kind of cool. Mulligan comes in to a big pop and starts cranking on Snuka’s arm. Murdoch grabs Mulligan’s hair from the apron though and the fight is on, with Mulligan grabbing some armdrags. Tony goes into a history of everyone in here, which is quite the fascinating set of details as Tony is trying here. Murdoch needs a breather on the ramp so it’s Muraco coming in, only to get chopped down by McDaniel.

The villains take McDaniel into the corner but he slugs away on Murdoch, allowing the tag off to Brunzell. Just to show off, Murdoch busts out a flying headscissors (Larry: “How could Murdoch get that stomach up that high???”) but Brunzell slaps on a quick sleeper. That’s broken up with ease though and Muraco comes back in with a powerslam. Muraco clotheslines Snuka by mistake but Murdoch is right back in with a neckbreaker.

The big running elbow gets two with Mulligan and McDaniel making the save. It’s off to Snuka for the first time as Tony talks about Snuka’s heel days with Ray Stevens. Snuka accidentally hits Muraco though and a fight breaks out, allowing McDaniel to come in and roll Snuka up…for two. That almost looked like it was supposed to be the finish. Everything breaks down and the referee throws it out at 9:37.

Rating: C-. All in all, not too bad here as no one looked horrible or anything close to it. That being said, a no contest in a legends match??? They couldn’t have someone take a rollup pin here? That’s about as nuts as you can get on this show, but at least it wasn’t anything bad for the most part.

Mad Dog Vachon wishes he was in the ring and Mr. Assassin wants to fight Dusty Rhodes to settle things once and for all.

Ivan Koloff/Baron Von Raschke vs. Brad Armstrong/Thunderbolt Patterson

Brad, in street clothes, is substituting for Bob Armstrong, and we see clips of him anyway. Patterson says that Bob had a knee surgery and couldn’t be here. That’s all well and good, though I can’t get my head around a Nazi and a Russian teaming together. Patterson and Armstrong clear the ring in a hurry and the fans are rather pleased.

We settle down to Patterson dancing his way out of Raschke’s headlocks so it’s off to Armstrong working on Koloff’s arm. Tony is just firing off history and facts here and sweet goodness it’s amazing to hear this kind of commentary from his mouth. Armstrong gets out of the Claw and brings in Patterson for the gyrating comeback. Everything breaks down and Patterson hits a double chop to pin Raschke at 4:41.

Rating: D. Now this felt more like the bad match that you would have expected under the circumstances. It doesn’t help that Patterson was never good in the ring, Koloff looked old and Raschke has been old for the entire run of his career. That left Armstrong, who was a substitute in jeans. It was a weird fit, but at less than five minutes, it’s hard to get that annoyed.

And now, A Flair For The Gold (Ric Flair’s interview segment on a special set). Ric introduces Fifi the Maid (later his wife/life partner or whatever it is) and we hear Larry say “Hi John” in a line that wasn’t supposed to make air. Anyway Flair is ready to reunite the Horsemen and brings out Arn Anderson, who is ready to take the NWA World Title from Barry Windham. Now we have some bad news: Tully Blanchard isn’t here (in other words, they lied about having the original Horsemen here, which was a major selling point of the show), but Ole Anderson is! Uh, yay.

Ric has someone new on the team though….and it’s Paul Roma, marking probably the lowest point in the history of the Horsemen. Roma was nothing more than a low level/job guy in the WWF for years and now he’s supposed to be a Horseman. This is one of the all time biggest disappointments and it would never work, no matter how much Flair and Anderson tried to get him over. Complete misfire here, but would you expect anything less from 1993 WCW?

Johnny Valentine is on commentary. Ah that John.

Dory Funk Jr. vs. Nick Bockwinkel

Gene Kiniski and Verne Gagne are the seconds. It’s almost weird to see Bockwinkel, who is seven years older, looking ten years younger than Funk. Feeling out process to start with Bockwinkel going after the arm and Funk firing off the uppercuts for a less than scientific method. Bockwinkel’s hammerlock is taken into the corner for more uppercuts and a wristlock from Funk.

A headscissors with an armbar has Funk in trouble before Bockwinkel slams him down, sending Funk outside for a breather. Back in and Funk uppercuts him down, setting up another chinlock. Bockwinkel actually slugs his way out of the corner for two, with Kiniski possibly breaking up the pin. That means some glaring from Bockwinkel, allowing Funk to take him down with a front facelock.

Funk flips out of a Boston crab attempt and grabs a belly to back suplex for two. They fight over a double arm crank as we have five minutes left. You can hear some BORING chants as Funk uppercuts in the corner but Bockwinkel takes him down with a chinlock. Funk fights up and knocks him onto the ramp, setting up a suplex back in with two minutes left.

A piledriver plants Bockwinkel but he gets his foot on the rope. The backslide gives Bockwinkel two but Funk gets the spinning toehold. Bockwinkel grabs the Figure Four so Kiniski comes in for a stomp, which isn’t a DQ. Funk makes the rope and tries a small package but Bockwinkel is in the ropes as time expires at 15:00.

Rating: C. This was a little different as both guys can still do everything, but it wasn’t exactly thrilling. You could tell they were playing to the draw, which made a lot more sense in this match than in the six man. These two are top level legends and I can understand not wanting to say one is better than the other, though it only got exciting in the last few minutes.

Post match all four shake hands for the nice moment.

Lou Thesz is happy to be here and Bob Geigel liked the match. Thankfully Thesz is treated like the legend that he should be, though there is something weird about Mad Dog Vachon getting more time.

Rick Rude/Paul Orndorff vs. Kensuke Sasaki/Dustin Rhodes

Rude is US Champion and Orndorff is TV Champion. Rude mocks the much smaller (by comparison) Sasaki so Sasaki walks around him and shoves Rude HARD into the corner (Sasaki was fairly small but a powerhouse). It’s time to crank on Rude’s arm, with Sasaki picking him up without much effort. Rhodes comes in to work on Orndorff’s arm for a change and it’s Sasaki cranking on a hammerlock.

That doesn’t last long either so it’s back to Dustin vs. Rude in a rematch of how Rude won the US Title. Rhodes hammers away but gets sent outside for the crash on the floor. Back in and Rude snaps off a swinging neckbreaker before handing it back to Orndorff for an elbow to the face. Rude can’t hit a piledriver but Dustin can get in a Tombstone for two. That’s not enough for the hot tag though as Orndorff comes in to take Dustin into the corner, because Orndorff knows how to do the heel thing.

A double should gives us a double knockdown, allowing Dustin to roll over for the hot tag. Sasaki comes in with an atomic drop to Rude, meaning it’s time for a counter hip swivel. Some clotheslines set up a (half) gorilla press and Sasaki throws Rude at Orndorff, who ducks the contact in a landing that was funnier than it should have been. Everything breaks down and Orndorff shoves Sasaki off the top, setting up the Rude Awakening (not a great one) for the pin at 9:45, even with Sasaki flailing on the count.

Rating: C-. This felt like a featured match on Main Event or Saturday Night, meaning that while it was decent, there were some moments in there that looked rather sloppy. Rhodes was just kind of there as well, which is odd given that he was the main challenger for Rude at the moment. Not awful, but it was a weird kind of match.

It’s time for the inaugural Hall of Fame inductions, with Gordon Solie as Master Of Ceremonies. First, we run down a list of legends who have passed away, with one who will be announced later. After a moment, of silence, it’s time to announce the inductees, with each appearing in the ring and receiving a plaque.

Lou Thesz – Like anyone else could have been first.

Verne Gagne – They said this was going across all promotions and this is as good as anyone else.

Mr. Wrestling II – Not the biggest national name, but he was a huge star in his day.

Eddie Graham – If you’ve seen any modern finish, odds are he made it famous (represented by his son Mike).

Lord James Blears and John Tolos love wrestling, with Blears giving Missy Hyatt his monocle.

Sting vs. The Prisoner

That would be Nailz, this would be a Bounty Match (because someone wants Sting taken out) and Prisoner was supposed to be Scott Norton. Prisoner chokes him down to start and chokes even more in the corner, followed by even more choking in the middle. Sting avoids a charge in the corner and the strike off is on, with Prisoner sending him outside. That means a posting for Sting but he avoids a charge in the corner back inside. The Stinger Splash gets two but a regular splash hits knees. Prisoner goes after the referee so Sting goes up top for a clothesline and the pin at 5:17.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as Prisoner wasn’t exactly good on his best day and he was even worse here. Sting was the top face in the company at this point and he was in a match against someone thrown out there to give him a victory. It was smart to get them out of there in a hurry though, as there wasn’t much that could be done in this case.

The cage is set up for the next match.

The Crusher, with big cigar, is ready to send Ox Baker’s head through a cage because he wrestled more cage matches than anyone else. Ox Baker loves to hurt people and did it better than Crusher. He loves everyone and nearly gets in a fight with Crusher, but hugs Eric Bischoff instead.

Tag Team Titles: Hollywood Blonds vs. Dos Hombres

The Blonds (Steve Austin/Brian Pillman, which I hope you knew already) are defending in a cage and….egads Dos Hombres. So the Blonds beat Shane Douglas and Ricky Steamboat to win the titles, so they dressed up like luchadors and stole a quick win to set up the title match. The catch though is Douglas had left the company before the angle happened, so it was Brad Armstrong under the mask in the first match and it’s Tom Zenk here, but commentary goes along with the idea of it being Douglas. Steamboat says they’re here for a title shot so you can hear his voice, but the other is silent for reasons of THAT’S NOT DOUGLAS.

We see two guys in the crowd who are….not exactly identified but they might be agents or the mob. Anyway Austin goes for Steamboat’s mask to start but gets chopped into the corner, meaning it’s Pillman coming in instead. Pillman is sent face first into the cage as Larry talks about how much he hates cages, so Tony talks about Larry vs. Sammartino for a bit. Zenk comes in to work on the arm and we look at the guys in the audience again. It’s off to Austin, who is sent back first into the cage over and over.

Steamboat’s backdrop sends Austin’s feet into the cage and then the rest of him goes in as well. Austin pokes Zenk in the eye though and it’s back to Pillman for a bit of an awkward sequence to set up some choking. Steamboat is back in to gorilla press Pillman into the cage and there’s a suplex into the cage to leave Austin hanging by his legs (cool visual). Steamboat mocks the Blonds’ camera deal and hands it back to Zenk, who is whipped into the cage instead of into Austin to put the champs in control for the first time.

Pillman starts choking away as Tony recaps the night and Larry tries to figure out who those guys at ringside are. Austin drops the middle rope elbow and Pillman slugs away, followed by the choking in the corner. A raised boot knocks Pillman out of the air but it’s right back to Austin, who is kicked into the cage. Pillman’s top rope splash hits raised knees as Larry talks about what a legend Austin will be in a few years. The hot tag brings in Steamboat for those chops of his as everything breaks down.

An electric chair out of the corner drops Austin and Pillman gets crotched on the top (Larry: “AND NO COMMENT!”) as everything breaks down. The Hombres hammer away in the corner and Steamboat takes off his mask (thank goodness) to hit a high crossbody onto both Blonds for….well two but the bell rings anyway but we keep going. Eh timekeepers screw up everywhere. Stereo dropkicks get stereo near falls for the Hombres but it’s a quick Stun Gun to give Austin the pin on Zenk at 16:08.

Rating: B-. It’s a match that was put on all kinds of DVDs for some reason, even though it wasn’t all that great. The Hombres deal was only so good but at least it was something to make the match a little more interesting. The talent was there (Zenk was good enough) but it was just kind of going along until the ending without much being built up.

On the replays, Larry says the high crossbody was a perfect impression of….Captain Planet.

The cage is taken down so we talk to Dusty Rhodes, Mr. Wrestling II and Stu Hart. Dusty accepts the Assassin’s challenge, Mr. Wrestling knows Dusty is ready to accept the Assassin’s challenge (and thanks WCW for all of the honors) and Hart talks about wrestling being in his family. He hopes British Bulldog wins tonight, which is about as emotional as Hart was going to get.

NWA World Title: Barry Windham vs. Arn Anderson

Barry is defending as I continue to be astounded by the NWA still being around in such a role in 1993. Anderson shoulders him down for a fast two as commentary puts over what a big night it is for him. Barry knocks him back into the corner as we talk about how big a night it is for the Horsemen. Dude Paul Roma joined the team. There’s nothing big about that other than a big mistake.

A quick DDT gives Arn two and Windham bails out to the ramp. They switch places and Windham gets in a knee lift to stagger Arn, followed by knocking him out of the air. Anderson manages to leverage him from the apron to the floor, meaning it’s time to figure out the over the top rule too. Barry goes head first into the barricade, which is legal in the NWA but illegal in WCW, so the match keeps going. It keeps going with Barry cut open on the forehead, but it does keep going.

Back in and we hit the chinlock, only to have Windham pop up and dropkick him off the top. Back in again and a top rope clothesline drops Anderson, setting up a knee drop to the back for two. Half of Windham’s face is covered in blood but he’s fine enough to hit a floatover suplex for another near fall. Anderson gets in the spinebuster for a big reaction but Windham rolls to the floor and grabs the belt. The referee gets bumped as Barry is leaving so Anderson throws him back in. Anderson knocks the referee down again by mistake though and it’s a belt shot to give Barry the pin at 10:56.

Rating: B. I’ve always liked both guys and this was one of Arn’s biggest singles matches ever so it’s no surprise that the results worked. The NWA didn’t mean anything by this point and Barry would lose the title to the returning Ric Flair at the next pay per view, but at least they had one good, old school match here before Windham faded into complete obscurity.

WCW World Title: Big Van Vader vs. British Bulldog

The Bulldog is challenging and Vader has Harley Race with him. They fight over the power game to start with neither being able to get very far. Vader’s shoulder doesn’t send Bulldog anywhere and Vader needs to think about that. Another shot has Bulldog bouncing off the ropes but he’s right back in Vader’s face. With that not working, Vader just unloads on him in the corner (Vader could do that like no one else) and Bulldog is knocked outside for a shot from Race.

Vader goes outside too but gets knocked over the barricade for his efforts. Back in and Bulldog manages the delayed vertical suplex (my eyes popped open) but Vader kicks him away. The middle rope dive into the powerslam (take a shot) sets up a running clothesline to put Vader on the floor again. Back in and Vader just blasts him to take over and drops an elbow on the leg.

The Vader Bomb gets two and Vader hits him in the face a few times. Vader’s middle rope standing body splash has Bulldog in more trouble and it’s time to hammer away in the corner again. They fight over a superplex until Bulldog throws him face first down onto the mat. A headbutt stuns Bulldog more than Vader and there’s a hard clothesline to put Bulldog down again.

Vader misses a sitdown splash though and Bulldog gets two, only to have Vader hit him in the face for another knockdown. There’s a top rope splash but Vader bangs up his ribs in the process. To mix it up a bit, Vader pounds him down in the corner and now the sitdown splash connects. We hit the reverse chinlock but Bulldog lifts him up into an electric chair, as you do to VADER. Bulldog manages the powerslam but Race makes the save. They head outside and it’s a chair to Bulldog for the DQ at 16:14.

Rating: C+. This was good to start but then went a bit long in the middle and had a lame ending. The problem was they kind of ran out of ways to do things to each other and that made for a pretty long ten or so minute stretch, which is quite a bit too much in a match like this. Bulldog was rolling at the beginning, but this needed to be about four minutes shorter.

Post match Vader loads up a powerbomb but Sting comes in for the save.

Magnum TA thinks that was great and they’re not done.

Verne Gagne thinks that was neat and we’re out.

Roll credits.

Overall Rating: B-. It was quite an up and down show which isn’t all that surprising. The legends stuff was probably a lot more interesting than what we would have gotten from a regular show from the era, but stuff like not delivering the Horsemen and having Roma as a sub was a big hit. Nothing is a blow away match but you have more than enough stuff to make the time go by. I liked it well enough and it’s nice to have something to get away from the modern stuff for a change.

 

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SuperBrawl III
Date: February 21, 1993
Location: Ashville Civic Center, Ashville, North Carolina
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Tony Schiavone

This is a one match show and it is all built around Sting vs. Vader. That’s one of those matches that is going to work no matter what, it’s the White Castle of Fear strap match. In other words, we might be in for some special mini movies, which are always, uh, something. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Vader whipping Sting and abusing him with the strap to set up the main event. This is about as low key of an opening as you can get.

Eric Bischoff and Missy Hyatt welcome us to the show and announce that Maxx Payne is replacing Ron Simmons in the US Title match. Hyatt will be handling interviews tonight but won’t say who she’ll be interviewing. Eric brings out Johnny B. Badd (with the snappy sailor’s hat) to run down the card….and that’s it.

Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura run down the card because we might not know what we paid to see.

Maxx Payne plays a rock rendition of the Star Spangled Banner.

Hollywood Blonds vs. Marcus Bagwell/Erik Watts

Bagwell is the Rookie of the Year and it always seemed like he held that title forever. Austin and Bagwell lock up to start and the fans are behind Bagwell for one of the few times in his career. Bagwell armdrags him into an armbar before powering Austin down with a pair of top wristlocks. Back up and Steve punches him down, only to get knocked hard to the floor. That doesn’t last long as Austin is thrown inside for a double backdrop, plus a double clothesline to Pillman.

Watts comes in for an armdrag (which doesn’t work that well) on Pillman and a quickly broken armbar. Bagwell comes in for a crossbody and the headlock takeover puts Austin in trouble. It’s back to Watts and the fans boo him out of the building, including as he puts on an abdominal stretch. The announcers debate the merits of cheating (Jesse: “Always take the easy way out. That’s for all you kids out there.”) as Jesse notes the Watts booing.

A bad looking Boston crab has Austin in trouble so Pillman comes in to kick Watts in the face for the break. Pillman gets pulled down into the STF but he’s in the ropes in a hurry. They head outside with Pillman’s dive off the apron missing to send him crashing into the barricade. Austin is back up to beat Watts down on the floor, with the fans being rather pleased. Back in and Pillman breaks up a sunset flip attempt so Watts can be choked on the rope.

The double teaming is on with Austin luring Bagwell in for some double choking. The Rocket Launcher is blocked with raised knees but Austin is back in with a suplex to break up the tag attempt. Austin misses a running crotch attack on the ropes though and it’s a hot tag to Bagwell to clean house. Everything breaks down and Watts is sent outside but makes the mistake of trying to get back in. That leaves Bagwell to Yellowjacket (fisherman’s) suplex Pillman but Austin comes in off the top to break it up and give Pillman the pin at 16:35.

Rating: C+. It’s rare to see a match with two teams having such different levels of talent in one match. Bagwell was getting better but had a pretty firm ceiling. Watts…..no. I get that he was thrown in WAY over his head, but that doesn’t change the fact that he was WAY over his head. He was so tall, lanky and awkward (not his fault mind you as he had no idea what he was doing at this level) that the fans just did not want to see him.

The Blonds getting cheered like that was awesome to see, mainly because they were one of the best tag teams of the 90s and deserve any cheers they get. Better than expected, but almost all because of the Blonds. They just couldn’t get much more out of these two and it was very obvious.

We get a quick clip of the Sting/Vader White Castle of Fear mini movie, featuring Sting flying to the Rocky Mountain.

Bischoff and Badd confirm that Ric Flair will be here tonight.

Flair arrives but Missy Hyatt is escorted away by security while trying to get an interview.

2 Cold Scorpio vs. Chris Benoit

Well ok then. Jesse picks Benoit for his killer instinct, and I’ll go straight to Benoit elbowing Scorpio in the face to get away from that as fast as I can. Benoit stomps away but Scorpio is back up with a spinning high crossbody. A kick to the face puts Benoit on the floor and it’s an armbar back inside to keep Benoit in trouble. Scorpio goes with the hammerlock with his feet and drops backwards to crank on the arm, which does look rather painful. Back up and a Japanese armdrag sends Benoit outside in a huff.

Benoit gets back in for the test of strength with both using some good looking bridges. Scorpio takes him down by the arm again and drops a leg but misses a dropkick. Benoit misses an elbow though and the armbar goes on again. Back up and Benoit ducks a spinning kick to the face and hits that nasty clothesline of his. The backbreaker lets Benoit bend Scorpio’s back over his knee before we hit the chinlock.

Benoit drapes him ribs first over the top and kicks Scorpio outside. A shoulder to the ribs has Benoit staggered but he’s able to avoid the missile dropkick. The chinlock goes on again and it’s off to something rather close to a Liontamer. For some reason Benoit lets go of the hold and grabs another chinlock as we hit the fifteen minute mark about thirteen and a half minutes in. With the holds not working, Benoit takes him up top for a belly to back superplex.

The very delayed cover gets two and a Russian legsweep gets the same. Benoit powerbombs him for two with three minutes left. An enziguri drops Benoit and Scorpio adds a clothesline to send Benoit into the corner. The spinning splash in the corner connects and the twisting splash (which would today be known as Twisted Bliss) gets two. With forty five seconds left, Benoit blocks a victory roll and drops a middle rope leg for two more. Benoit is getting desperate but Scorpio grabs a rollup for the pin at 18:20 (or 19:59 officially).

Rating: B. The good start to the show continues in a much less surprising result. How were these two not going to have a good match? The timing makes sense here as it adds more drama and given that they were only off by about a minute and forty seconds is a minor miracle. I can always go for some Scorpio and while Benoit wasn’t at his greatness yet, you could see all the tools there, waiting to be developed.

Maxx Payne is replacing the injured Ron Simmons in the US Title match. He and his guitar (Norma Jean) have a song ready for champion Dustin Rhodes and of course we hear a little bit….of Taps.

Bill Irwin vs. British Bulldog

Irwin is an evil cowboy and the Bulldog gets a ROAR on his in-ring debut. Smith shoves him down with ease to start and the fans are behind Smith the whole way. Irwin’s shots against the ropes don’t do much good as Smith runs him down with ease. A hard clothesline puts Irwin on the floor and it’s a gorilla press back inside to make it worse. Back in and Irwin kicks away at the ribs as Tony tries to figure out what Jesse means when he talks about Bulldog’s cornrows.

A cover gets one with Smith pressing launching him on the kickout so the chinlock goes on instead. That’s broken up in a hurry and Smith sends him into the corner for a running shoulder. Jesse: “How come they call it an Irish whip? Is it from Ireland?” Tony: “Uh yeah 1863 in a wrestling match there.” Jesse: “….that’s amazing.” I have no idea if Tony made that up on the spot or not but Jesse had NOTHING in response. Anyway Irwin gets up a boot in the corner but dives into the running powerslam for the pin at 5:43.

Rating: D+. Not much of a match here but it was fine enough for an introduction to Smith. A lot of people already knew who he was but you need to let him come in there and beat someone up. That being said, it wasn’t exactly thrilling and Smith looked like he was already getting old and slow. Go while you have the chance I guess, but it wasn’t exactly good.

Vader is waiting for Sting in the White Castle of Fear.

Smith wants the World Title and is ready to eat Vader up.

Badd and Hyatt are ready for the UK tour.

Paul Orndorff is ready for Cactus Jack….who is right here to start their match in a hurry.

Paul Orndorff vs. Cactus Jack

Falls Count Anywhere and Jack chases Orndorff through the entrance with a shovel. Orndorff chokes with an electric cord but Jack slams him onto the concrete. The mats are pulled back for the elbow off the apron and the super sunset flip to the floor for two. They go inside with Orndorff ripping at Jack’s mouth but that’s enough so they fight outside and over the barricade.

Tony FINALLY explains the story here, as these two fought to team with Vader in a cage match but Vader jumped Jack. That made Jack get the shovel and he’s been swinging it since. Back to ringside with Jack being sent into the barricade, followed by a top rope ax handle to the head back inside. Orndorff starts going after Jack’s bad knee, taking the brace off in the process, and then suplexes him over the top and onto the apron (that’s a new one).

The Figure Four goes on and Orndorff grabs the rope. For some reason the referee yells at him but Jack punches Orndorff in the face for the break instead. Makes sense. They head outside again with Orndorff sending him knee first into the concrete. The knee brace to the head sends Jack to the floor again and Orndorff unloads on the leg with a chair. Orndorff calls for the piledriver but Jack channels his inner Old Man Marley and hits him in the face with the shovel for the pin at 12:17.

Rating: B+. Now that was a lot of fun as these guys beat the living heck out of each other for twelve minutes. It takes something special to hang with Jack in a fight like this for so long and that’s what Orndorff was. He’s grown on me a good bit over the years and they had a really, really good brawl here. Orndorff looked awesome and Jack was crazy over with the fans so what more do you need?

Rock N Roll Express vs. Heavenly Bodies

This is part of the Smoky Mountain Wrestling talent trade with WCW, meaning Jim Cornette is here with the Bodies. The idea is now former WCW boss Bill Watts brought out the Express as the SMW Tag Team Champions but Cornette came out with the Bodies and said not so fast. A feud was set off and it’s time to fight here, with Bobby Eaton out with Cornette and the Bodies.

So yes, Eaton and Stan Lane are against the Express and unfortunately we couldn’t get one last WCW match between the famous teams. The Express of course gets a crazy reaction and the fans can’t stand Cornette, partially because he talks about how ugly the fans are. It really isn’t all that hard you see. Eaton gets ejected before the bell (Cornette hugs him goodbye) and it’s Prichard driving Gibson into the corner to start.

A flying headscissors takes Prichard down though and it’s off to Morton for the hurricanrana. Lane comes in off a hot tag and is immediately armdragged into an armbar as the Bodies can’t get much going early on (because these people know how to book a southern tag match). Morton works on Lane’s arm and sends him into Prichard in the corner and Gibson comes in to do the opposite. Cornette and company need a breather on the floor, with Jesse making a thinly veiled gay joke.

A double backdrop puts Prichard down but he gets Morton into the corner. Morton is out in a hurry though and it’s a four way standoff. Morton and Lane hit the crisscross but Morton drops to the floor to chase Cornette. Back in and the Bodies get caught in a double noggin knocker and a right hand drops Cornette off the apron. Cornette gets a grab of Morton’s foot though and the Bodies FINALLY take over.

A swinging neckbreaker gets two on Morton and the chinlock goes on. The referee catches Lane trying to sneak in and breaks it up but Cornette distracts the referee as Morton grabs a sunset flip. Lane makes the save so Prichard can hit the powerbomb for two. A double DDT gets Morton out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Gibson to clean house.

Everything breaks down and it’s a double dropkick to Prichard but the illegal Lane and Morton distract the referee. Cornette comes in to distract Gibson though and Prichard is up with a bulldog. Morton is back up to take Prichard down for two but Cornette has the referee AGAIN. Cue Eaton, but he hits Prichard by mistake, allowing Gibson to get the fast pin at 12:53.

Rating: B. This is the old southern style tag match with five people who could do this match int heir sleep and then did it rather well indeed. It was a great flashback to a long gone era and that’s the point of something like SMW. Granted that didn’t work long term, but for a one off like this, it was pretty awesome.

Sting isn’t sure what to make of the White Castle of Fear.

US Title: Dustin Rhodes vs. Maxx Payne

Payne is challenging and substituting for an injured Ron Simmons. We even get a quick rule explanation and we’re ready to go. Dustin knocks him to the floor and then clotheslines him outside again. Back in and the armdrag sends Payne outside for a third time in less than two minutes. The armbar slows Payne down but he fights up, only to get caught in a running armdrag into another armbar.

Back up and Payne misses a charge into the corner, meaning we hit the armbar all over again. Payne fights to his feet again, misses a shot, and gets kneed in the arm again. Dustin charges into an elbow but gets up a boot in the corner. With nothing else working, Payne hits Dustin in the face and grabs…his own armbar. Egads can these people do anything else?

The Payne Killer (yes, another armbar) is blocked so Payne puts a knee in the chest instead. Some forearms put Dustin on the floor and a backdrop puts him down back inside. Dustin’s comeback thrills the people who haven’t left their seats and Payne misses an elbow drop. A running clothesline puts Payne down and a suplex gives Dustin two. The abdominal stretch goes on but Payne breaks it up, sending Dustin into the referee for the DQ at 11:29.

Rating: D. Egads what a mess this was. It was a bunch of armbars until they had a sloppy brawl and a bad ending. They really couldn’t come up with anyone better to challenge Dustin than Payne? I know Simmons wasn’t available but come on already. At least find someone who looks like a threat or you could pin.

Vader and Sting finally meet. These clips are less than ten seconds each and that might be for the best.

Here’s the returning Ric Flair to do commentary on the NWA World Title match. Flair is all fired up and reminds us that he never lost the title.

NWA World Title: Barry Windham vs. Great Muta

Windham is challenging and yes, we’re supposed to care about the NWA in 1993. Muta has Hiro Matsuda with him. We get the introductions and the WE WANT FLAIR chants are on again. Oh and the NWA allows you to come off the top, because the NWA and WCW had different rules and fans were supposed to be interested in all of this stuff. Feeling out process to start and Windham easily gets the better of a test of strength.

That’s broken up and Muta headlocks him to the mat, with Windham at least trying to fight up, which is something you don’t see often enough in a situation like this. Windham fights up for a belly to back suplex attempt but can’t escape yet. Back up and Muta scores with a dropkick so the headlock can go on again. Windham still can’t suplex his way out and we’re told it’s ten minutes in, even though it’s been less than seven.

Muta snaps off a suplex and drops the power drive elbow. The headlock stays on, they fight up, the headlock takes them down again. Another dropkick misses though and Windham hits a DDT for no cover. Windham knocks him outside as Jesse talks about Flair’s intimidating security team at ringside. Back in and Windham drops some knees to the head for two before grabbing the sleeper.

That stays on for a good while as the rather slow pace continues. Some feet on the ropes make it clear that Windham is the heel here, though I have a problem believing that the fans are going to be interested in anyone but Flair. Back up and Windham gets two off a gutwrench suplex before sending Muta outside. That lets Muta get fired up and the slugout is on with Windham getting the better of it and grabbing a chinlock. Muta fights up with some shots to the face but can’t get a sunset flip.

Windham’s piledriver attempt is countered with a backdrop so he knocks Muta right back down. The superplex is broken up though and now the comeback is on, including the handspring elbow. Muta misses the moonsault (as pretty as ever) but he’s fine enough to hit a belly to back suplex. Another moonsault attempt hits knees and Windham hits the implant DDT (or close to it as Muta was still on his feet while Windham landed) for the pin and the title at 24:09.

Rating: D. Well that didn’t work and the reason was Ric Flair. Ok so maybe that was part of it, along with Muta apparently having the flu. At the end of the day though, the fans only cared about Flair and were stuck waiting almost five more months before he would win the title. I’m sure there’s a logic to it, but having anything involving the NWA at this point was a waste of time.

Vader and Sting strap up.

The hosts make their main event picks.

Vader vs. Sting

Vader’s World Title isn’t on the line and it’s a strap match (four corners version) with Harley Race in Vader’s corner. They take their sweet time setting up the strap, allowing Jesse to point out how hard it’s going to be for Sting to pull Vader anyway. Vader uses the strap to pull him down to start and then does it again to set up the story of the match in a hurry. Sting is down again so Vader drops an elbow to the ribs as commentary explains the always hazy “broken momentum” rule.

A middle rope splash crushes Sting but he’s back up with those shots to the face that only he could make work. An enziguri of all things puts Vader down but Jesse points out that you can’t drag Vader around when he’s on the mat. The top rope splash makes the problem worse but Vader starts rolling around. Sting starts whipping away, including a shot to knock Race off the apron.

It’s time to go outside with Vader being pulled hard into the post and there’s a slam to put Vader down on the floor. Sting gets two buckles (posts actually) out there but gets sent hard into the barricade to break that up. Vader’s back is bleeding after that whipping so Sting makes it worse with a Samoan drop back inside. The standing body splashes put Sting down but he backdrops his way out of a powerbomb to show off the strength. Sting misses a top rope splash and gets crushed by Vader’s version.

There’s a Samoan drop to Sting to even the score and the Vader Bomb has Race celebrating. Now it’s time to whip Sting, with Jesse saying it’s like Tony whipping his children. A super Samoan drop knocks Sting silly but Vader can only get two buckles. The Vader Bomb misses and the fans are all happy again. The breather lets Sting crotch Vader on top and a slam brings him back down.

Vader is up first again though and hits Sting in the face, only to have Sting do it right back. A superplex takes Sting down again for three buckles but Sting ties his leg around the ropes. Sting drops Vader again and the momentum is broken. You don’t tick Vader off though so he unloads with rights and lefts in the corner. Vader uses the strap to pull him in so Sting uses a Liger kick to get a knockdown.

There’s a DDT but the referee gets bumped. Sting doesn’t seem to mind as he picks Vader up in a fireman’s carry for three, only to trip over the referee. Sting is exhausted so Vader sits on his chest and ties him up for three, but Sting isn’t done. He is however eternally stupid though and kicks Vader into the corner to give him the win at 20:54.

Rating: A-. Like these two could ever do anything wrong. Vader’s back was SCARY out there as he was covered in blood and looked like he had fallen on glass. This was what you would expect out of Vader and Sting, even if the White Castle deal was pure early 90s WCW stupidity. Ignoring that though, it’s a heck of a fight and makes me want to watch them go at it again, which they would do for a long time to come.

Post match Sting whips Vader to the floor.

Barry Windham joins the hosts and promises to win all the titles.

Tony and Jesse wrap us up.

Roll credits.

Overall Rating: B+. There are bad things on the show but the stuff that works are more than enough to make up for them. This is an awesome show and a true hidden gem that no one ever talks about. Aside from the White Castle stuff and thinking the NWA still mattered (I’m still surprised it even existed) at this point, they let the wrestling speak for itself here and that is often a very good idea. Make a few changes and this is an all time classic, but as it is, it’s just a heck of a show and worth seeing if you clip some stuff out.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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This is a rather old one so I apologize in advance for the quality.

 

Fall Brawl 1993
Date: September 19, 1993
Location: Astro Arena, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Tony Schiavone

This is from the awful period for WCW when they were borderline unwatchable. This is a WarGames show and also has a thirty minute Rude vs. Flair match for the International Title (which is the parody of the NWA Title that I’ve gone over a dozen times and I’m sure I’ll do again here. I really don’t want to do this one so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Fall and how kids go back to school and all that jazz. Everything isn’t ok though as WCW is invading Houston! There’s really no connection there but whatever.

It’s weird to see a show from WCW in Texas. Tony and Jesse introduce Eric who introduces our first match.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Ricky Steamboat

Yes it’s that Regal. I still can’t get over the idea that his butler is Bill Dundee. We have the double ring setup as tonight it’s WarGames of course. They’ll be alternating back and forth. The first match is in ring one. Dragon has the scales and such here which is odd looking but he’s Ricky Steamboat so who can argue?

Buffer introduces Regal as being very dapper. There’s something funny about that name. Oh and I almost forgot: this is the first WCW show when they’re officially out of the NWA and are completely free. Steamboat has bad ribs from a beating last night by Regal on Saturday Night.

Speaking of Saturday Night, this is a very interesting show because the results for all the big matches had been spoiled. This is one of the major reasons why the NWA was mad and ultimately eliminated. WCW would tape MONTHS of shows in advance, giving away storylines to anyone at the tapings. For instance, later on there’s a title change and a new manager debuts. Both were known almost a month prior to them occurring.

Now think about why this is a problem. First and foremost, people know about the storylines months in advance. Second though, think about how the wrestlers are being treated. Look at Miz today as WWE Champion. Apparently his reign was supposed to be shorter but he has impressed management so much that they’re giving him a longer reign. Now look at this version of WCW. With the title changes set in stone for months down the road, why would you work hard, knowing that no matter what you do, the title changes have already happened? What’s the incentive to work harder? See the problems here?

Anyway, on to the match. Apparently Regal hurt Steamboat with an umbrella. Regal tries to go after the ribs so Ricky has to fight defensively for the majority of the opening. Off to the ramp for a bit as they try to defend Steamboat throwing him over the top to the ramp rather than to the floor. Also, shouldn’t throwing someone over the top to the ring also be a DQ?

Regal uses simple psychology here by going after the injured ribs like anyone with a brain would do. That’s the basic definition of ring psychology: why would a person do just what they did? If you were in a real fight and you knew the other guy had an injury, you would go after it right? It makes sense to, which means it’s good psychology here. Steamboat chops away in the corner and we get some reversals on Irish whips resulting in Regal’s arm hitting the buckle.

Steamboat works on the arm, again using psychology. Old guys know basic thoughts. Regal gets what appeared to be a thumb to the eye and we get an unheard of STEAMBOAT SUCKS chant. What the heck??? Steamboat plays possum and gets a leg drag but uses his leg to take Steamboat over. It’s hard to describe but imagine an arm drag by Steamboat but Steamboat uses his leg to get it over.

Back to the arm and shoulder and then up for the cross body. Steamboat’s ribs are hurt by the move though and he can’t cover. You can tell the camera side is empty as they never get close to showing it. It’s a WCW trademark and you can tell why they do it because at I think Beach Blast 93 we saw the other side and it was completely empty. Regal does the same short arm scissors lift that Bulldog famously did to Shawn but he can’t break the hold.

I was right about the crowd as they caught a quick shot of part of it. It must be Halloween because everyone is wearing an empty seat costume. Off to a chinlock by Regal. This has been 98% mat wrestling so far. It’s not incredibly interesting but it’s very technically sound of course. Off to a body vice by Regal which is a perfect move for him to use here. When did Regal start using power moves though?

Modified surfboard by Regal where he leans back with it but leaves Steamboat on the mat for a bit and just pulls on the arms. He pulls back a bit and has Steamboat more or less on his knees to give you a visual. Regal gets a nice butterfly suplex for two as we alter the style a bit. Steamboat counters into a slingshot and gets a one count while he’s setting up for it. I guess that’s a cover of some sort?

Steamboat can’t slam him and Regal falls on him for two. Ventura says Ricky should get himself disqualified. Regal tries a Tombstone but gets reversed into one of the softest Tombstones I’ve ever seen. You can hear the crowd just die on it’s impact. Steamboat counters a belly to back into an O’Connor Roll for two. Steamboat goes up and hits the cross body but hurts his ribs again. PSYCHOLOGY BABY! Ricky skins the cat but Sir William (manager) DRILLS him in the head with the umbrella so a German suplex gives Regal the TV Title.

Rating: B-. This was incredibly technical which makes things rather boring. That being said it’s still very good as both guys worked incredibly well of course. The fans hated it though which is a problem as an opener is supposed to make a crowd get into a show. Good stuff though, but 17 minutes was probably too long here.

Eric talks to the Nasty Boys who say they have a big secret, which also was spoiled weeks if not months ago by the TV tapings. Knobbs says they’ll win the tag titles with a top rope bulldog. That’s different if nothing else, saying how they’ll win it.

Big Sky vs. Charlie Norris

Big Sky is more famous as an actor, most known as being Sabretooth in the first X-Men movie. Norris is an Indian. Also Sky (who looks a bit like Jericho but about a foot taller) played Michael Myers in the Halloween remakes. In case you can’t tell, this match sucks right off the bat due to a lack of talent from both guys. The fans want Flair and I can’t blame them a bit.

Norris, also a big guy, hooks an armbar. The fans shift to a boring chant and again I can’t blame them a bit. Sky gets a chokeslam and won’t cover. A legdrop gets no cover as he chokes away instead. Middle rope knee drop misses and Norris does a war dance and chops away. Bicycle kick ends this to a pop, I’d assume because it’s over.

Rating: D-. Who thought this would be a good match? I want them shot. Boring stuff here with neither guy being any good at all. This is the kind of stuff that WCW in this era would get bashed for and I can’t say I blame them at all. Oh well, at least Sky would have some decent movie roles. Norris just sucked and sucked hard.

A guy named Scott Dunlap, a backstage interviewer with I kid you now, cerebral palsy, talks to Bulldog who talks about his opponents tonight in WarGames. How do you comment on a guy with cerebral palsy?

Paul Orndorff/The Equalizer vs. 2 Cold Scorpio/Marcus Bagwell

Equalizer is better known as Dave “Evad” Sullivan and is horrible. Orndorff looks like he’d rather be shot than be here. Bagwell is rookie of the year for like the 5th year running somehow. This is thrown together match and they say how it’s added on. Ventura talks about being in Demolition Man with Wesley Snipes which is kind of cool. Scorpio’s eyes are bugging out of his head of course. He and Bagwell are coming for the titles apparently.

They have matching tights that are purple and gold here, making them apparently Laker enthusiasts. Bagwell and Equalizer start us off and Bagwell gives him a pelvic thrust. You always kind of wonder about him. Both good guys finally get Equalizer down with a double dropkick. Equalizer almost hits Jesse on his way to the floor. You can hear a director say to keep the other side off camera. That’s too funny.

Scorpio gets beaten down by Orndorff as momentum changes. The best definition I can give you of Scorpio is a Cruiserweight in a nearly heavyweight’s body. He was insane and could move like few others ever but had the size to not look like a joke. Ornforff hammers away on Bagwell but gets caught in a floatover suplex for two. Bagwell hits the ropes but Equalizer pulls the top rope down to send him over, where Marcus might have hurt his knee.

Equalizer slams him on the floor and oddly enough, despite them being maybe two feet (literally) away from Jesse, he watches on the monitor instead of just turning his head. Not saying it’s a bad thing but just odd. We hit the chinlock with Equalizer holding Bagwell for awhile. He gets out and a crucifix gets one. As Orndorff has a bear hug on, Tony says Fall Brawl is underway! You know, 45 minutes into the show!

Cold tag to Scorpio who beats up Equalizer and Orndorff because he’s awesome. Cross body gets two on Equalizer. Everything breaks down and the Laker team…screws up as Bagwell whips in Equalizer but he clotheslines Scorpio. Nice job guys. In a pretty good ending, Orndorff hits Equalizer with a knee but it knocks him right into position for the 450, but it wasn’t contrived for once.

Rating: D. Oh man this was bad. There was ZERO point to this and no one cared. I mean NO ONE cared. I know it was thrown on, but dude can you at least give us a match that is decent? I rarely complain about bonus wrestling but this is a case where I can certainly do that. Awful match but Scorpio keeps it from failing.

Heels beat them down post match.

Regal addresses the crowd, saying he’s better than they are. There’s something about British heels that is perfectly hateable.

Shanghai Pierce vs. Ice Train

Pierce has Tex Slazenger with him. They would move to the WWF in about a year and become the Godwins. Ice Train is more or less Big Zeke but with even less talent. I always liked him for some reason. Oh and Pierce is in a mask. They’re from Texas but are being booed anyway which is appropriate somehow. Power vs. power here with Train being the stronger of the two.

This is one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in a very long time. Basically imagine every power vs. power cliché you can think of and add in some heel lariats and you more or less have the entire match. The heels try to use a bullrope but he runs right through it and a bad powerslam ends it. This was nothing. No rating as I have nothing to say about it at all. Let that sink in for a bit.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Arn Anderson/Paul Roma

Ok let’s clear up a few things here. First of all, Anderson and Roma (Horsemen here) are faces. The Nasty Boys are challenging them and have no manager coming into the match. The next FOUR MONTHS (in other words, giving away the results of the next THREE PPVs) have already been taped. At those tapings, Roma is a heel and not a Horseman, the Nasty Boys are tag team champions and they have Missy Hyatt as a manager. See what WCW was like back in the day?

Naturally Missy comes out with them and NO ONE is surprised. Missy was famous for having a big rack and that’s about it. Naturally, that’s all Tony and Jesse talk about. We even get big match intros here. Roma and Knobbs start us off as Jesse looks at Missy a lot. Roma gets in a right hand and Brian bails. Back in and the fans don’t seem all that interested.

Naturally the announcers talk about Missy and make sex jokes. Roma hits both guys with powerslams and the Horsemen stand tall. There’s money on the floor for some reason. I guess Missy has a good night the previous night? Sags wants Anderson and apparently that’s enough to warrant a Horsemen tag. Anderson works on his knee and then it’s back off to Roma. What did I do to deserve this?

The fans chant take it off which Tony tries to say is them giving Missy a hard time. Just keep telling yourself that dude. Now they think she’s a crack ****e. Dang I didn’t realize ECW had come to Houston yet. Wishbone split to Knobbs as the Horsemen dominate. They work on the knee of Knobbs who has been in there about 90% of the match so far. The fans say take it off.

Hey while we’re in the middle of a submission hold let’s go to the crowd to see a Bevis and Butthead sign. Tony wants to know what Missy can offer as far as a manager. Jesse: “I imagine she can put you in a few holds.” The Nasties take over and it’s a reverse chinlock. Off to Sags who locks in a reverse chinlock of his own. The fans chant Porky Pig. Now let’s talk about Houston sports because we’re bored.

Jesse REALLY doesn’t like Texas or Texicans. Now Brian gets a third straight reverse chinlock. Electric chair is attempted by Roma but he can’t get him up so it’s reverse chinlock #4. They redo the counter and it works this time. Tony tries to tell us that Roma is brand new to wrestling as I guess we’re not supposed to remember his six years in the WWF.

Anderson comes in and gets knocked over the top and out to the floor. With the referee distracted Sags pops Anderson with a chair. Now it’s off to revolving abdominal stretches. We even get a third one as Arn reverses Knobbs. And never mind as Sags drills him to keep control. Other than those few chanting fans the crowd is DEAD. I always see the Walking Dead title when I type dead in all caps.

Front facelock now but Anderson tags. Naturally the referee didn’t see it. The easiest heat move in the world can’t get a bit of heat at all. That says a lot. Bearhug goes on so Anderson bites Knobbs to break it up. I’d recommend some Listerine. Suplex by Sags keeps Anderson down. Ah there’s the bearhug from Sags as well. Good to see him emulating the ring general that is Brian Knobs.

Anderson gets an elbow shot in but STILL can’t make the tag. There’s the Porky chant again. Arn rams both of their heads into the mat which Jesse says causes an eruption. If that’s an eruption then I’d barely be able to hear a pop. Roma in now and Tony says a double noggin knocker is a double coconut.

The Nasties fight back and set for the aforementioned bulldog off the top but Arn breaks it up and a victory roll gets two. Roma hits his Swan Dive finisher but Sags drops an elbow on him from the top and Knobbs gets the pin. I guess when Anderson ran right past his unconscious partner being covered he didn’t think it was worthy of breaking up.

Rating: D. This was TWENTY FOUR MINUTES LONG. Anderson is great and Roma is bad but passable, but dude, the Nasty Boys do not belong in any match going over ten minutes ever. This was also completely predictable due to the tapings that were all well known beforehand. Boring match though.

If you’re interested in the show itself, I’d recommend skipping about two pages or so as it’s all analysis and backstory.

Video on Cactus Jack and his amnesia. Oh boy it’s this angle. Back in April, Cactus had beaten Vader, then world champion, by countout on Saturday Night (the top show at the time). Vader demanded a rematch the next week and got it. In this (awesome, much like the previous one) match, Vader pulled the padding back on the floor and powerbombed Foley on the concrete, legitimately injuring him to the point where his left foot was numb for a few days. Oh and Cactus had a bag that I don’t think was ever explained but he was obsessed with it. It was tiny and couldn’t hold much but he was nuts about it.

WCW decided to make an angle out of his legit concussion (notice how Bischoff seems to like doing that) and had him institutionalized due to insanity/amnesia. He escaped and then disappeared. Yes, we had entered into a comedy angle. WCW dispatched a “reporter” to try to find him as he was “Lost in Cleveland.” They talked to his wife (played by his wife) and his kids (played by actors) and no one knew where he was. This went on for weeks if not months. Harley Race (Vader’s manager) had the bag and said that Jack was gone.

They finally found Jack living on the streets, thinking he was a pirate and having a gang of kids/young adults that followed him around and listened to his “wise teachings.” His wife came up to him and he said he didn’t know her and this was all supposed to be tongue in cheek comedy. The only interesting part of this was seeing Foley clean shaven. Race started getting presents, like a small cactus.

Jack FINALLY returned four months after getting attacked and beat the heck out of Vader. This led to a bounty deal and a very white guy playing a Japanese guy named Yoshi Kwan coming after Jack which is the match tonight. In case you couldn’t guess, this was one of the worst angles in wrestling history and is still occasionally referenced today as a bad idea. In Foley’s first book, he described it as a surefire moneymaking feud (which it was) was a problem that WCW executives had to solve immediately.

We get a promo from Foley, telling us it was all a plan and that he was never really suffering from amnesia and that he’s coming for Vader. He has some real bad intentions for him and it’s time for Vader to face reality. This is all done outside in front of some building promotion a Smashing Pumpkins concert. This is an easy promo to describe: awesome. From late 93 to early 95, Foley was untouchable on the mic. Go find some of his promos from this era and takes notes, because they are some of the best I’ve ever seen.

Since I love Foley and this show is absolutely awful and I don’t want to watch anymore of it, let’s take a look at why this promo was great. First off, this promo is two minutes and two seconds long (we’ll say two minutes as some of that is Foley looking into the camera after saying Bang Bang). He doesn’t have a lot of time to work with here so he has to get things done and in a hurry.

First thing we see is Foley outside holding a piece of wood and throwing it on a pile of scrap, saying he was on a street like this just a week ago. Immediately he ties what he’s saying into him being on the streets for the last few months as a bit of continuity. Behind him is a bunch of fliers for a Smashing Pumpkins concert. This doesn’t add much, but you could say it feels more realistic than being in front of a big sign that says WCW.

In the first 30 seconds he talks about how someone (again, going for realism so he doesn’t say a name) asked him if he really lost his memory, if that was really his wife and if that was really his son. He says no to all of these, but the final question is whether or not anyone believed he lost his mind, to which he shouts YES. He explains the last few months worth of stories, saying they weren’t real and that he had a plan.

Jack says that there were two people that believed it, and they were Big Van Vader and Harley Race. What he tells us with that line is “yes, I know the promos were stupid, but there was a point to them”, thereby saying I’m sorry for how bad they were, but it was intentional and ties it into his enemies. He says you don’t win the world championship by being an idiot. As he says this he points to himself, saying that HE was being an idiot, or at least pretending to be. He also states his ultimate goal here. This has all been done in the span of 40 seconds so far.

He says that they believed it because they wanted to, not because it’s realistic (again, tying things back into the whole everyone knew it was fake, but they’re different). Jack talks about how Vader is a big game hunter and over his wall he has the ribs of Sting, the shoulder of Ron Simmons, the back of Joe Thurman (jobber Vader injured) and the neck of Nikita Koloff. Here he reminds the audience that Vader has a long history of hurting big name stars (and Thurman).

There was a place missing over the fireplace though, which was where he wanted the head of Cactus Jack. Jack identifies himself as the one that got away, which would mean Vader, as a hunter like he mentioned earlier, would want him there no matter what. But Vader can’t have him, even though he believes he captured him by putting him on the shelf. All that did was give Cactus time for thoughts to brew like a bag of tea.

The tea line sounds weird, but Foley immediately ties it together by saying this isn’t sipping tea but rather brutali-tea and a heavy dose of reali-tea. While this is indeed corny, it ties the last line together and the reality part ties on with the concept of Vader wanting to believe something that isn’t real. We’re in the home stretch now so it’s time to play up the anger.

Jack goes on to say that if they can arrest him for the thoughts that are going through his mind then get a rope and hang him right here. He has some sick thoughts and they all center around him changing Vader’s world like Vader changed him. Cactus finishes by saying he’s worse than any specter, ghoul or ghost (remember the match is at Halloween Havoc) than Vader can imagine. BANG BANG!

To summarize, in two minutes Jack has told us what happened the last few months, why he did it, how it ties into Vader and Race, his ultimate goal, and what his next step is. He ties this together with the tea thing and it accomplishes all these things, all while in front of a unique backdrop and in only two minutes. Couple this with great emotion and just the right volume by Jack on every word and you have a great promo.

Yoshi Kwan vs. Cactus Jack

I’m not expecting this to go long. Kwan is an indy guy named Chris Champion that is very white but is allegedly from Japan here to the point where it’s just stupid looking. Crowd pops fairly well for Jack all things considered. Cactus destroys him to start and it’s a Cactus Clothesline to take us to the floor. Cactus keeps trying to get the bag back from Race and it ultimately gets him in trouble.

They change rings a few times with Kwan controlling for the most part here. Kwan unleashes the kicks which are as generic as you could ask them to be. Bicycle kick is caught and it’s forearms for Jack. Race tries to get involved but gets drilled by Kwan by accident. Double Arm DDT beats Kwan without really breaking a sweat. Jack gets the bag back post match.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t about winning or anything and I’m really not sure what the point of Kwan was. He more or less just showed up one day and was Race’s bounty dude. I’m pretty sure he was gone after this. The point of this was that it set up Vader vs. Cactus which was a great match indeed.

We recap Rude vs. Flair which started on Flair’s interview segment A Flair for the Gold. Rude kissed Flair’s maid Fifi and she wasn’t thrilled. Rude drilled him with the big gold belt and gave him the Rude Awakening to set this up.

WCW International Title: Rick Rude vs. Ric Flair

Without going into the story AGAIN, it’s the NWA Title without the NWA name or lineage and it’s more or less a parody of the NWA and it would be merged with the WCW Title the following year. Read up about it in one of the other 29 times I’ve explained it. If you haven’t seen Rude in WCW and only know of his initial WWF run, it’s COMPLETELY different as Rude was a killer here instead of a comedy joke.

Having a personal maid is just awesome. Rude says when he leaves he’ll have Flair’s reputation, his title, and his woman, revealing Fifi on his tights. I love that bit. Ventura starts off on his anti-women rants, saying the housework Fifi does is what women should be doing everywhere. They fight over a top wristlock which Rude of course loses. Tony warns Jesse that the sound woman might cut his mic off. That would be hilarious actually.

Flair goes for the knee early and the Figure Four is on maybe two minutes in! Rude gets to the ropes but dang that was surprising. To shock me some more, Flair comes off the top AND HITS THE PUNCH! Yes, he actually didn’t get slammed off! Where’s my medicine when I need it? Flair hooks a wristlock and Jesse thinks women should be barefoot and pregnant. THEY CUT HIS MIC OFF!!!!! Jesse steals Tony’s and says no one cuts him off. That was awesome!

He’s back on and goes on a rant about Sara Lee (the name of the sound director) about how he’s switching to Betty Crocker now. That was hilarious and has breathed some much needed life into this show. Tony references a European tour and a show in Germany, which is where Cactus infamously lost his ear. Also there was a world title trade between Sting and Vader where Sting held the title for about three days.

Flair uncharacteristically works on Rude’s arm instead of the leg, but I guess the idea is take away the power game which is logical. Rude takes over for a bit but rams his shoulder into the buckle by mistake and it’s back to the arm. Rude can’t slam Flair to tell you how bad the arm is. Somewhere about the 8th arm hold they go over the top and out to the floor. Tony: “There’s Fifi, trying to help Flair get up.” Jesse: “No way I’m touching that one.” I love those not very subtle lines.

Rude rams Flair into the apron and gets a suplex for two. He’s starting to get the arm back now. And now it’s a reverse chinlock by Rude as I’m guessing he was watching that Nasty Boys match earlier. This match has been going about 13 minutes so far and probably 8 or 9 has been in holds. Rude lets him up and gets a clothesline off the top and a press slam. Out to the floor again and Rude poses in the ring for a bit.

Hey let’s go with a bearhug instead of doing something interesting! It goes to the mat and Flair rolls over and actually gets a cover while in a bearhug. Aren’t Rude’s shoulders up? Flair charges at Rude but gets caught in a Hot Shot to set up the Flair Flop. A fist from the top by Rude gets some yelling at Fifi. Another shot has Flair reeling. Fifi’s nose looks like Voldermort’s.

Rude goes for a third shot from the top but Flair is playing possum. Belly to back suplex gives Flair the momentum. Butterfly suplex gets two. Flair goes off on Rude in the corner and it’s all Naitch. And never mind that as he eats knees in the corner. Rude gets a DDT for two. Flair counters the Rude Awakening into one of his own for two. Flair grabs the leg and….goes up with it? He flips forward to snap the leg even more. I’ve never seen him do that before.

Flair sets for the Figure Four but Rude kicks him off. More leg work but Rude gets a rollup to counter the hold again. That only gets two though. Flair sends him to the floor and we get a quick shot of the camera side. There are maybe 8 rows of fans and that’s it. Wow that almost ROH levels of attendance. Not saying it’s bad for ROH but for the second biggest company in the world on PPV, that’s anemic.

Flair goes up and hits the shot from the top to the floor as he controls again. As good as this may sound, it’s nowhere near that entertaining actually. Rude counters and we get a Flair Flip and Ric can’t hit a third shot off the top. Rude gets a top rope punch for a long two. Fifi finally slaps Rude so he kisses her. He brings her into the ring and Flair destroys him. You can see security telling fans to sit down. Odd. Figure Four goes on but Rude gets a foreign object shot in to take Flair out as Fifi is being put out of the ring to win the title. Thank goodness it’s over.

Rating: D. This was half an hour long which more or less sums up the major issue with it. This went on WAY too long and it got very boring after awhile. Half of the match was rest holds which is incredibly boring. If you cut the first half of this off then this is decent but other than that this was horrible. The arm and back work went nowhere and the ending came out of nowhere. Terribly boring match.

We talk about WarGames a bit.

Sting/Shockmaster/Davey Boy Smith/Dustin Rhodes vs. Vader/Harlem Heat/Sid Vicious

WarGames again. This is the mother of all gimmick matches in WCW and something that a lot of people with they would bring back in WWE, me being one of them. The idea is it’s 4 on 4 in a double cage match. Two people start us off, one from each team. They go at it for five minutes and then we have a coin toss (the heels will win). The winning team gets to send in another man for a 2-1 advantage. That last two minutes and then the losing team gets to send in its second man. After two more minutes the winning team gets to send in its third. You alternate until everyone is in and it’s first submission wins.

Harlem Heat are Kane and Kole here but I’ll be calling them by their more famous names. Vader is the other world champion here, the WCW World Champion. Animal is advising the faces here for no apparent reason. Dustin has really bad ribs here. Shockmaster is the hilariously infamous falling man that is more famous as Typhoon/Tugboat. Dustin starts without his partners wanting him to and gets Vader.

Dustin hammers Vader down surprisingly enough and pulls his boot off to beat on Vader even more. Well it’s resourceful if nothing else. Dustin is able to fight Vader off as well as anyone else has been able to do in a very long time. His ribs end that run though and there’s the Vader Bomb. Remember that you can’t end the match until after everyone is in the ring. That’s a great rule that makes sure there’s additional violence.

Rhodes fights back AGAIN and puts Vader down. That could be a heck of a Clash of the Champions main event actually. More boot shots (with the boot itself mind you, not a foot in it) to the head of Vader and Dustin is surprisingly in control. The heels win the coin toss which I literally think was a perfect record for them over the years. Dustin counters a dive off the top by Vader into a powerslam in a nice move.

Kane (Stevie Ray) comes in second. Dustin tries to fight them off but Vader gets a shot in to the ribs to take him down almost immediately. A minute in (remember everything now is just two minutes) and Dustin is in trouble. I’m not entirely sure why they sent in Vader so soon but whatever. Sting comes in but Vader and Stevie wait on him by the door like smart people would do.

2-1 is nothing for Sting though as he fights both guys off. I could watch Sting vs. Vader all day. Dustin is back up but is bleeding badly. His grandma is here tonight. Dusty’s mom is here. Let that sink in for a bit. Vader is sent into the cage and stumbles into the cameraman in a funny moment. Sid comes in to fight Sting in an old rivalry. Chokeslam takes Sting down and it’s all Sid.

The pops Sting gets for even the most basic moves are amazing. Vader and Sid ram Sting into the top of the cage for fun. With thirty seconds left it’s going to be the Bulldog in next. Yes Tugboat is batting cleanup. Davey comes in and Sid jumps him immediately. He fights off Sid and Vader by himself. He was a straight up tough guy in WCW if you haven’t seen any of his stuff there. In a nice touch Sting and Bulldog do to Sid what Vader and Sid did to Sting moments ago.

Kole (Booker T) comes in so there’s just Shocky left to come. Everyone is in one ring so that ring is completely overcrowded. The announcers make fun of Shockmaster falling which is funny stuff. They finally split up a bit and the match gets more interesting as a result. Sting takes down Stevie but hurts himself in the process. Sid gets caught in a Figure Four but here’s Shockmaster to even us up. Tony: Hey he made it through!

He’s bigger than Vader which isn’t something you often see. He beats up everyone in sight and after just over a minute and a half he throws Booker in a bearhug and it’s over. Wow so Typhoon beat a multiple time multiple time multiple time multiple time multiple time world champion? Sweet goodness man.

Rating: C. That’s bad for a WarGames match mind you. It’s ok, but the lack of starpower kind of hurts this here. Sid is an afterthought and Vader got beaten down like a fat jobber. Dustin Rhodes looked the most impressive out there which is odd. This was kind of weak and did nothing to set up the next shows or anything. Shockmaster was gone almost immediately after this and no one cared.

Cactus vs. Vader is announced for Spin the Wheel Make the Deal for Halloween Havoc.

Overall Rating: F+. This show was terrible. I finished watching it a few seconds ago and it occurs to me that I have no idea why the teams in Wargames were actually in WarGames. The matches were WAY too long with four matches going over 16 minutes and two going over 20 minutes. The problem is that long matches don’t always mean good matches, with this show being the proof of such a theory.

A lot of the matches already are forgotten to me despite watching the show earlier today. This isn’t an entertaining show at all with FAR too much time going to boring matches. This is a show where you need 11 matches or so instead of like six or however many there were here. 1993 wasn’t kind to WCW at all and this is no exception whatsoever. Terrible show and I’m just glad it’s over.

 

 

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SuperBrawl I
Date: May 19, 1991
Location: Bayfront Arena, St. Petersburg, Florida
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Dusty Rhodes

I haven’t looked at some early WCW in a long time so hopefully it lives up to the rather low expectations. This is the first show of the series and is taking place in May instead of the regular February. The main event is Ric Flair vs. Tatsumi Fujinami for both the WCW and NWA World Titles, because that was still a thing back then. Let’s get to it.

The opening video has a bunch of American and Japanese flags, to show you what the entire point is.

As usual, I must ask, WHY IS THE BIG WCW LOGO TILTED JUST A BIT???

Singer Randy Brown performs America the Beautiful, because WCW thinks we need some mostly unknown singer at every pay per view.

Dusty Rhodes is VERY excited about the World Title match so I might as well get this out of the way here.

The WCW and NWA World Titles were separate belts but represented by the same champion for a few months. In other words, yes Flair was the NWA World Champion, but not one mentioned that in America, where he was only billed as the WCW World Champion. They mentioned it in Japan though, and back in March, Tatsumi Fujinami beat Flair in a match for only the NWA World Title.

However, since that wasn’t a thing in America, WCW said that Flair was still World Champion because he was thrown over the top rope. In Japan, Fujinami was billed as champion because he pinned Flair, making it title for title at SuperBrawl. WCW billed it as only Flair defending in a rematch, because WCW and the NWA liked making things WAY more complicated than they should have been time after time after time (and on top of THAT, commentary in March said that Fujinami’s IWGP World Title was on the line but it was never mentioned to the live crowd).

And yes, I did have to write that about three different times so I could make any sense of the whole thing.

US Tag Team Titles: Fabulous Freebirds vs. Young Pistols

The titles are vacant coming in due to the Steiner Brothers winning the World Tag Team Titles. The Freebirds have manager Diamond Dallas Page (with one of the Diamond Dolls) and Road Boss Big Daddy Dink because they needed a three person entourage. Page has a headset microphone and talks a lot of annoying trash, showing why he would have a job for a long time to come.

Steve (Armstrong, of the Armstrongs) starts with Michael Hayes and an early rollup gives Armstrong two. Everything breaks down in a hurry with the Birds being sent outside and taken down by a double clothesline from the apron. Back in and Dink trips Steve down so the Birds can take over for a change. Cue Brad Armstrong (Steve’s brother) to even things up a bit as there are WAY too many people involved here.

Thankfully the referee gets rid of everyone but the people actually in the match and it’s Steve slipping under a double clothesline for the hot tag to Tracy (Smothers) who clears the ring in a hurry. Back in and a double shoulder gets two on Jimmy Garvin (that hair is amazing) so it’s already back to Hayes. That means a lot of walking around and clapping, because Hayes REALLY likes doing that quite a bit. A low bridge puts Tracy on the floor and Garvin drops him onto the barricade for a nasty looking crash.

Tracy gets knocked off the apron a few more times before Garvin knees him in the head back inside. Hayes gets in a left hand to the head to drop Tracy again but a superkick (nowhere near a big deal in 1991) puts Garvin down. It’s off to Armstrong to clean house as everything breaks down again. The Birds avoid missile dropkicks but get clotheslined outside in a heap.

Back in and a Hart Attack (elbow instead of clothesline but close enough) off the top drops Hayes and a dropkick version does the same to Garvin. The referee gets bumped in the process though and here’s a masked man in a feathered suit (complete with FANTASIA on the chest) to DDT both Pistols to give the Birds the pin and the titles at 10:21.

Rating: C-. This was a bit disjointed due to a lot of stalling from the Birds, plus all of the interference was kind of a distraction. That being said, at least they had a hot ending with the Birds cheating (as they were known to do) to win the titles. The Pistols looked good though and it’s easy to see why they were around as long as they were.

Ricky Morton vs. Dan Spivey

This was during the period where Robert Gibson was injured and Morton was wrestling on his own. Spivey wastes no time in throwing him around and sending Morton outside. It works so well that he does it again, followed by a DDT to drop Morton back inside. A clothesline gives Spivey two and there’s a Razor’s Edge to keep Morton down. Morton’s crossbody is countered with a fall away slam and a legdrop gets two. Spivey gets rolled up for two so he powerbombs the heck out of Morton for the pin at 3:12.

Rating: D+. Total squash here with Morton’s offense coming in the form of a rollup. Spivey was a monster who always seemed like he could be something but he never broke through to the next level. When he can do something dominant like this though, you can see why he kept getting chance after chance.

Z-Man and Missy Hyatt are here. Z-Man is injured but will be back soon. As for Missy, she is going to be in the dressing room for interviews tonight. She tried this at WrestleWar and got chased off by Stan Hansen. Missy promises an improvement tonight.

Nikita Koloff vs. Tommy Rich

Rich hits an early crossbody for one so Koloff glares at him a bit. The early feeling out process continues with Rich’s headlock so Koloff sends him into the buckle. Some forearms to the back and an elbow to the ribs get two on Rich but he’s back with right hands in the corner. The spinning high crossbody misses though and the Russian Sickle finishes Rich at 4:07.

Rating: D. Another squash here as Koloff is moving forward towards the US Title that commentary mentioned half a dozen times here. It’s just such a weird sight to see so many squash matches like this on a pay per view. I know it’s a different time and this was normal, but I feel like I’m paying to watch a weekly TV show.

Here are Teddy Long and newcomer Johnny B. Badd, who promise to knock out PN News. Johnny gets in his classic line of “I’m so pretty I should have been born a little girl.” to mess with Schiavone’s head.

Dustin Rhodes vs. Terrance Taylor

Taylor is part of the York Foundation, a corporate group with Alexandra York (Terri Runnels/Marlena) and security guard Mr. Hughes. The idea is that York has a computer which tells her how her wrestlers can win her matches, which is something that sounds interesting in theory. Unfortunately that’s the extent of its usefulness: in theory. Taylor shoves him into the corner to start but we pause for a word from the computer.

A shoulder puts Taylor on the floor for more consultations as Dustin is getting annoyed. Back in and Dustin takes him down with an armdrag as Dusty is proud of his son. Taylor slips out and let’s check that computer again, allowing Dusty to say Dustin is getting flustered. Dustin wins the slugout and headlocks Taylor down for a breather. As you might have expected, Taylor stalls again on the floor as JR wonders if they’re going to overload the computer.

Back in again and Dustin gets one off a suplex but misses a crossbody (after looking like he nearly fell running the ropes) and falls out onto the ramp. A suplex brings him back in for one but Taylor dives into the raised boot in the eternally dumb looking spot. Dustin grabs the bulldog, drawing York up to the apron. Hughes grabs Dustin and loads up a glove but hits Taylor by mistake, giving Dustin the pin at 8:05.

Rating: C. The computer stuff was fine for a midcard gimmick but it got annoying here as they kept doing it over and over. Dustin was going to get a strong push around here due to all of his potential and his dad being in charge of the place, but at least he could do a lot of good things in the ring.

The announcers talk about the live bears that are about to come to the ring. Yes, this is indeed a WCW show.

Black Bart vs. Big Josh

Bart is an evil cowboy who was around forever. Josh is a woodsman better known as Matt Borne, the original Doink. And yes, he does come out with some rather large bears (Ring announcers: “Along with a couple of buddies!”). To be fair, I liked Josh back in the day so they might have been on to something.

Josh takes him down to start and hits the Log Roll (a bunch of stomps to the ribs) and the strikes put Bart down again. The armbar has Bart in more trouble but he rakes the face for his comeback. Josh pulls him down by the arm a few times and hits the Northern Exposure (running seated senton) for the pin at 3:47;.

Rating: D-. This was unbearable for the most part as it was a sloppy brawl with neither looking good. I can see why Josh is someone they wanted to push for the sake of making kids smile, but my goodness this was a terrible match and it’s probably about as good as the two were going to be able to do.

Here’s Paul E. Dangerously, in a pink shirt, shorts and a cowboy hat, for his Danger Zone interview segment. After mocking the microphone for not working, here’s Stan Hansen as his rather angry guest. Heyman says the hat makes him a real cowboy and Hansen looks ready to kill him. With the tobacco dripping out of his mouth, he wants to talk to all of the young guys who won’t fight him tonight, including Dustin Rhodes. And that’s it, with Hansen leaving so Heyman can talk about the rest of the card until his microphone dies.

With that out of the way, we get the huge entrance for OZ, complete with the Great Wizard (who the ring announcer points out is NOT the Wizard of Oz), Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man and the Cowardly Lion. They get up to the big castle set where they find Oz, in his big green robe with a horned hat, who promises to show them who Oz really is. Great Wizard (Kevin Sullivan), over and over again on the way to the ring: “WELCOME TO OZ! WELCOME TO OZ!”

Oz vs. Tim Parker

Emerald City Slam (James Storm’s Eye of the Storm) ends Parker at 25 seconds. This is one of the all time great disasters, as WCW was told to do something with the fact that Turner had acquired the rights to the Wizard of Oz. Next up was supposed to be Rhett Butler from Gone With The Wind, and no I’m not kidding.

Missy tries to get another interview and finds Terry Taylor, who says this isn’t it for the York Foundation and Dustin Rhodes. That doesn’t interest Missy but she thinks Z-Man might be in the shower. Instead it’s Stan Hansen, who apparently wears his underwear in the shower. From walking to the ring and talking a lot??? Stan chases her off again.

Brian Pillman vs. Barry Windham

Taped fist match. Windham shoves him down to start and that doesn’t please Brian at all. Pillman takes him into the corner and hammers away with Windham asking the referee if Pillman knows the rules. Some right hands to the ribs slow Brian down but he’s fine enough to dropkick Windham off the top for a big crash. The top rope right hand to the floor drops Windham again but he posts Pillman to shut that down. They’re already both busted as Pillman is sent onto the ramp, allowing Windham to drop him face first onto the barricade. Pillman gets back to his feet and Dusty is VERY into this. Back in and Pillman scores with a spinwheel kick and some chops with the sweat flying off of Windham’s chest. More chops rock Windham but he’s grabs a belly to back suplex. They hit heads for a double knockdown and it’s Pillman heading up top. That earns him a quick low blow though and Windham superplexes him for the pin at 6:09.

Rating: C+. They were beating the heck out of each other in there but the match never really got into another gear. That being said, their feud wasn’t all that great in the first place as Pillman didn’t really win any of the bigger matches and jobs again here. What exactly were they expecting him to get out of the feud after Windham beat him time after time?

Diamond Dallas Page gets an interview, though only after he asks everyone in the back to shut up (politely) and then asks if we are live, because WCW can never get their production right. He promised to bring gold back to the Diamond Exchange and that is what happened earlier tonight with the United States Title.

Page throws us to a pretaped interview with Sting and Lex Luger, who are ready for an unreal match with their friends the Steiner Brothers. Back in the arena, Page brings out the latest addition of the Diamond Mine: the Diamond Stud, better known as Scott Hall (so yes, Hall and Nash both made their debuts on the same show in your forgotten trivia of the night).

Sid Vicious vs. El Gigante

Stretcher match. It’s so weird to see Sid, who is freaking huge, coming up to Gigante’s chin. Gigante offers a test of strength in a funny bit and then clotheslines Sid outside. Back in and Sid kicks at the leg but charges into a boot to the chest. The Claw finishes Sid at 2:12, because WCW has a weird definition of Stretcher match.

Post match it’s the One Man Gang and Kevin Sullivan coming in to jump Gigante as Sid walks away without touching the stretcher because WCW (and because he’s going to the WWF). Gigante puts Gang on the stretcher but Sullivan throws powder in his eyes. Some chain shots don’t do much to Gigante, who glares both of them off.

Ron Simmons vs. Butch Reed

In a cage with former Doom manager Teddy Long in a small cage above the ring. If nothing else, I get to hear the old Ron Simmons theme three times and that’s a rather appealing situation. Simmons punches him down in a hurry but misses a charge into the cage. He’s fine enough to grab a belly to back suplex but gets sent into the cage again. Reed gets in a few rams into the cage and there’s a rake of the boot over the face.

Simmons is busted open so Reed hammers away and then brags to Long. A middle rope ax handle to the head drops Simmons, who pops back up to send Reed into the cage. Reed does the same though and they’re both down again. It’s Reed up first with a piledriver and another ram into the cage, setting up the chinlock.

The fans get behind Ron but a swinging neckbreaker brings him right back down. Reed’s splash hits knees but he knees Simmons down without much trouble. A double clothesline puts both of them down so Long throws something down to Reed. Reed picks it up but walks into the spinebuster for the fast pin at 9:40.

Rating: C-. They were trying here but it felt more like a house show match than anything else. Simmons got beaten up for the better part of ten minutes and then hit a quick spinebuster for the pin. That’s not exactly thrilling but Simmons would be getting a rocket strapped to his back sooner rather than later and Reed was gone after this so it’s not like there was any other option.

Video on Sting/Luger vs. the Steiner Brothers. They’re both great teams (or at least one great team and one team of two very successful singles wrestlers) and this is THE match on the show, bar none. The video does a very good job of making this feel epic too so well done on getting the big one right.

World Tag Team Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Lex Luger/Sting

Luger (US Champion)/Sting are challenging and everyone is friendly here. Everyone shakes hands to start and it’s Luger vs. Rick to get things going. They fight over a lockup to start with Rick driving him into the corner and then wrestling Luger to the mat with ease. Back up and Rick sweeps the legs again as Luger can’t do a thing with him in the amateur stuff. Rick tries a flying shoulder and just bounces off of Lex, who snaps off a powerslam for two. This is one of those matches where you can feel the energy on everything they do and it’s an awesome atmosphere.

Rick is back with a belly to back suplex and a heck of a Steiner Line for two. There’s a backdrop to send Luger flying but he EXPLODES out of the corner with a clothesline of his own. The big gorilla press has Sting fired up and he comes in with a clothesline over the top, setting up the big dive to the floor, which wasn’t something you saw every day back in 1991. Back in and Sting hits that running bulldog of his before putting him upside down in the corner, ala Rick Steiner.

The Stinger Splash misses though and it’s off to Scott for a tiger driver. There’s the tilt-a-whirl to plant Sting, who pops back up with a hot shot. It’s back to Luger for a suplex before going back to Sting, who is quickly atomic dropped. A belly to belly superplex gives Scott two but he misses a clothesline and nearly falls onto the announcers’ table. Another suplex brings him back in for two and they seem to botch something, only to have Scott snap off something like a spinning northern lights suplex.

Luger knocks him down again and loads up the Rack, only to switch to a Russian legsweep with Scott almost landing on top of him. Rick comes in off the blind tag though and there’s the top rope bulldog into an elbow for two. Sting gets a tag that the referee misses and missile dropkicks Rick as everything breaks down. Luger and Rick hit heads and it’s a double tag so Sting can belly to back Scott.

A Tombstone plants Scott with Rick making a save. The ref gets bumped to the floor and Rick follows him out with Luger. There’s the Stinger Splash into the Scorpion Deathlock but here’s Nikita Koloff (with a shot from behind in one of those images that is burned into my memory from childhood) to hit Sting with a chain (though he was aiming for Luger) to give Scott the pin to retain at 11:10. The Steiners did not see Koloff interfere.

Rating: A. There are certain matches where you can just feel everything and that was the case here. This was presented as a special match and they lived up to the whole thing. The ending might seem cheap but you don’t want to change the titles, beat Sting or beat the US Champion so what else can you do but a dirty finish? Check this one out if you want to see four guys beating the heck out of each other and the fans being into every second of it. Outstanding stuff and there is a reason this match is considered one of WCW’s best.

In the back, Koloff says Sting was in the wrong place at the wrong time so here’s Sting for the brawl. They go out into the parking lot and the camera loses them.

TV Title: Bobby Eaton vs. Arn Anderson

Eaton is challenging and JR makes a big point of him having no partner or manager anymore, mainly because WCW boss Jim Herd HATED Jim Cornette (it was mutual) and the Midnight Express. They go to the mat a few times for a standoff so Eaton just pops him with a right hand to the jaw. Anderson is a good bit wobbly as he gets up to kick Eaton in the ribs.

Eaton comes out of the corner with a clothesline for two but gets launched off the top and down onto the ramp for a big crash. The piledriver on the ramp is countered into the backdrop though and a second backdrop puts Anderson inside again. The armbar stays on Anderson, who pops right up and wraps the leg around the post. Anderson works on the leg but Eaton fights up this time and sends Anderson face first into the turnbuckles about fifteen times in a row. A big right hand rocks Anderson again but the knee gives out to slow Eaton down.

Anderson is back on the knee with a crank and stomp, followed by the longer form crank. The Vader Bomb hits knees but Anderson snaps off that perfect spinebuster for two. Eaton punches him out of the air and hits a running neckbreaker to drop Anderson. It’s time for the Alabama Jam (top rope legdrop)…..as Windham and Pillman have the most random run in this side of a Russo show to brawl on the ramp. Anyway Eaton drops the leg and gets the pin at 11:49, which goes down as we look at Pillman and Windham (who never touched Anderson or Eaton) running away. It really is as random as it sounds.

Rating: C. The ending interruption really did come out of nowhere and feels insane. I liked the story they were telling here with Eaton fighting through the pain to finally win a singles title and you can’t argue with Anderson putting him over clean. Eaton was a great star on his own but he would drop the title later in the month to some newcomer named Steve Austin. They were trying here, but nothing was following that tag match and I think they knew it.

Tatsumi Fujinami’s manager Hiro Matsuda (who trained Hulk Hogan and Lex Luger among others) says they’re bringing the title back to Japan.

WCW World Title/NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Tatsumi Fujinami

I’ve lost track of which titles are on the line just from listening to the introductions so we’ll say it’s both for the sake of my sanity. Flair is in the classic black and white robe but WHAT IS THAT MUSIC??? He has one of the most iconic themes ever and they switched it??? There are two referees here (one from America on the floor and one from Japan on the floor) to make it even more confusing. Fujinami shoulders him down to start and it’s clearly in first gear so far.

Some chops rock Flair and a backdrop makes it worse as Fujinami can stomp away. The surfboard keeps Flair in trouble and Fujinami switches to a Boston crab to keep him screaming. We go old school with an Indian deathlock as Flair can’t get anything going here. A suplex finally gets Flair out of trouble but Fujinami is right back with a running forearm for two.

They go outside with Flair scoring with some chops, meaning it’s time to start in on the leg. A shinbreaker sets up an early Figure Four and Flair slaps him in the face with the hold on, which is rarely a good idea. Fujinami gets out and grabs a Scorpion Deathlock (Flair just can’t get away from that thing), sending Flair straight to the rope. A belly to back suplex drops Fujinami and Flair stomps away, setting up a WOO.

They head outside with Flair going into the barricade to draw some blood (yes, in a Flair match), meaning Fujinami has a fresh target. The staggered Flair falls back outside where he gets in a thumb to the eye but gets slammed off the top. The Octopus goes on and you can see the fans looking confused. Flair flips his way out but loses a slugout to knock him down again. A small package gives Fujinami two and we get a ref bump. The American referee comes in and Flair grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin to retain/win/whatever it is at 18:39.

Rating: C. The wrestling was fine but egads they misfired on the story here. Flair was a heel coming in, the title situation was a complete wreck and Fujinami isn’t known by the masses. Flair and Fujinami are both amazing performers, but there is only so much that you can do when you’re in this lame of a situation. Then again, given some of the horrible drek on this show, this was on the higher end of the show.

The announcers talk about the card and we look at the ending of the main event again.

Credits roll to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. That tag match is the ONLY thing that keeps this show from being a failure but there is only so much that can be done in an eleven minute match on a two hour and forty minute show. There is a great reason why WCW in 1991 is such a complete and utter nightmare and that’s what we had here. Horrible show here and run FAR away from this outside of the all time classic tag match.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXXI
Date: March 29, 2015
Location: Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara, California
Attendance: 76,976
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is an interesting show as most people really weren’t looking forward to it. The card isn’t that bad on paper but the interest is still low. Reigns vs. Lesnar isn’t the most exciting main event and the idea of HHH vs. Sting as a regular match is borderline terrifying. The show has surprised me before though so let’s get to it.

The set is HUGE this year with a very wide stage and a big circle for the Titantron looking like a play button on the WWE Network. It’s another open air stadium and since it’s on the west coast, the sun is shining very brightly for a unique look.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. New Day

One fall to a finish. Kidd and Cesaro, with Kidd’s wife Natalya, are defending and it’s Kofi Kingston/Big E. (minus the Langston) for New Day with Xavier Woods in their corner. The Usos (in San Francisco 49ers colors) have Jimmy’s wife Naomi and Los Matadores still have El Torito. Cesaro and Kofi start fighting with Kingston scoring a quick dropkick but Diego tags himself in.

A ticked off Cesaro pulls Jey off the apron and whips him into the barricade, re-aggravating a shoulder injury and taking Jey out. Kofi monkey flips Diego for two and gets punched in the face as Jey is being taken to the back. Back to Cesaro for a chinlock before the Swing sends Kofi into Kidd’s dropkick. Kofi gets kicked into the corner so Jimmy can tag himself in for a superkick to Cesaro.

Kidd, Fernando, Big E. and Cesaro are all down in a corner and Jimmy nails the running Umaga hip attack to each one of them. Kofi dives onto Diego as any semblance of the tagging has been abandoned. Kidd springboards into a superkick from Jimmy, who charges into an uppercut from Cesaro. Big E. comes in and launches Kofi into a double knee to Cesaro’s chest for two.

Cesaro’s apron superplex takes Big E. down and Los Matadores add a powerbomb/Backstabber combo to Kofi with Kidd breaking up the pin. Kofi goes after Kidd on the floor but has to catch Torito, allowing Natalya to put the bull in a Sharpshooter to continue a stupid mini feud. Jimmy and Naomi dive onto Kidd, Kofi and Fernando. Back in and the Midnight Hour (Big Ending from Big E. (a powerslam drop) and a middle rope DDT from Kofi) plants Diego with Jimmy and Cesaro making stereo saves.

Fernando switches with Diego for a rollup on Big E. but the referee says he’s not legal. If that’s true, I want to buy that referee a ham sandwich. Big E. picks up Diego and Kidd at the same time but Jimmy breaks it up with a superkick. Kidd eats Trouble in Paradise but Cesaro uppercuts Kofi on top. Los Matadores go up top for a double superplex but Cesaro and Big E. make it a double Tower of Doom. JBL: “OH THE HUMANITY!” Jimmy adds a Superfly splash to Big E. but Cesaro steals the pin at retain at 9:58.

Rating: B. Total and complete insanity here (described as a car wreck by the commentators) which was all it needed to be. They didn’t go with a copy of last year’s match, even though a lot of the participants were the same. Kidd and Cesaro were really clicking as a team and the division as a whole was looking up until Kidd’s injury in June.

Pre-Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Adam Rose, Alex Riley, Big E., Big Show, Bo Dallas, Cesaro, Curtis Axel, Damien Mizdow, Darren Young, Diego, Erick Rowan, Fandango, Fernando, Goldust, Heath Slater, Hideo Itami, Jack Swagger, Jimmy Uso, Kane, Kofi Kingston, Konnor, Mark Henry, Ryback, Sin Cara, The Miz, Titus O’Neil, Tyson Kidd, Viktor, Xavier Woods, Zack Ryder

Rose loves to party, Riley is back from injury, Axel is dressed like Hulk Hogan in a gimmick called Axelmania after he was never officially eliminated from the 2015 Royal Rumble, Dallas is a self-obsessed motivational speaker, Mizdow is Sandow copying the Miz as his stunt double (and becoming incredibly popular due to how hard he’s worked at the character), Itami is an NXT guy who won a tournament for this spot and Konnor and Viktor are a power team called the Ascension. The seven people from the opening match are surprise additions to this.

Axel breaks up the brawling to start so he can rip off his shirt, earning himself an elimination from the masses. Everyone keeps fighting until Rose and Fandango eliminate each other. Miz and Mizdow double team Riley and get rid of him with Miz taking the credit. Dallas eliminates Ryder, takes a victory lap, and then gets kicked out by Itami. The fans are way into him so here’s Big Show to eliminate Itami before anyone gets too excited.

Kane gets rid of Los Matadores at the same time and Cesaro does the same to Rose. Henry throws out Kidd but the ring is still WAY too full. Ascension gets rid of Henry and knocks Show down in a stupid move. Ryback dumps Ascension for their brilliance, followed by Young and Slater a few seconds after. Titus goes out too and it’s all Ryback, so Big Show is RIGHT THERE to cut him off.

Show clotheslines Swagger out and takes out all three members of New Day from the apron. You WILL respect Big Show and his amazing strength whether you like it or not. We’re down to Show, Rowan, Uso, Ryback, Cesaro, Goldust, Miz, Mizdow and Kane. The fans are behind Mizdow as Show dumps Rowan.

Ryback gets rid of Goldust but Kane saves Big Show for no logical reason. Miz and Mizdow take a double chokeslam from Kane, who is quickly slammed out by Cesaro. Show dumps Jimmy but gets picked up by Cesaro again, only to escape and dump Cesaro with ease. Ryback grabs a spinebuster on Show and is eliminated for trying to get any momentum.

It’s Miz, Mizdow and Show for the final three but Mizdow FINALLY stands up to Miz and tells him to go do it himself. Miz gets annoyed and yells at him for about a minute as Show just stands back and watch. Mizdow snaps and eliminates Miz and gets to fight Big Show on his own. Some clotheslines have the giant in trouble and Mizdow low bridges him halfway out. Show gets back up and shrugs off a front facelock before easily eliminating Mizdow at 18:08.

Rating: D. So yeah, all hail Big Show, may his name forever be praised, because he’s big and strong and bald and was here back in 1999 so we must give him a win. On top of that, they were trying to push the idea that Big Show had never won a battle royal, ignoring the one he won on Smackdown in 2014 and the one he won on Raw in 2006.

Instead of using this to make Mizdow into someone important, they went with Big Show because he just hasn’t won anything important in a long time. This was it for Mizdow as he would lose the big showdown with Miz less than a month later and pretty much disappear. Big Show on the other hand would do exactly the same thing he’s done for about the last ten years: be treated like a monster and then lose to someone new. Except here of course because Mizdow winning would have been stupid.

Aloe Blacc sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is hosted by LL Cool J and talks about how entertainment has evolved with everyone being connected. The one thing that has stayed the same though is us as we’ve watched moment after moment in the history of Wrestlemania. That generation at the beginning created what we see today and connects us all together. Tonight, these men and women will take the biggest stage and connect us all. This is Wrestlemania. Cool stuff here and it worked very well.

Intercontinental Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Stardust vs. Luke Harper vs. R-Truth vs. Dean Ambrose

Ladder match and Barrett is defending after issuing a challenge for a bunch of people to fight him. Stardust is Cody Rhodes as an even freakier version of Goldust. Truth is scared of heights and is going to have some issues in this one. It’s a huge brawl to start and Ambrose takes Harper down with a suicide dive. Stardust jumps off the middle rope and lands on a bunch of people (the Falling Star), leaving Harper to dive on everyone but Ambrose.

Dean climbs a ladder and dives on the other six to put all seven of them down. Truth is the first one back in but he can’t bring himself to climb. It’s Barrett with the save but Bryan dropkicks a ladder into him before whipping Stardust into the ladder to crush Barrett even more. The momentum is stopped as Harper throws the ladder at Bryan but he’s able to tie Harper upside down in the ladder for the YES Kicks.

That earns Bryan a superkick from Ziggler and it’s Dean and Dolph going for a climb. Barrett joins them but Stardust takes out the ladder to put everyone down. The fans chant CODY to freak Stardust out so he throws a ladder at Harper. Stardust goes outside and pulls out his own ladder called the, and I quote, Exo-Atmospheric Starbird. In other words, it’s a ladder covered in glitter.

Barrett will have none of that and breaks a rung off to give Stardust a beating. Dean throws the glitter ladder at Barrett and the glitter falls all over the ring. Now it’s time to bring in two small ladders so Harper and Ambrose can have a duel, capped off by a boot to Dean’s face. Harper lays a smaller ladder on the top rope and rams Dean into it face first. The ladder around Luke’s head takes some people out but Truth drop toeholds Harper down, sending him into the ladder.

Truth sets up the big ladder but Stardust goes for the climb, only to get superplexed back down by Barrett. Bryan, Ziggler and Ambrose go up top until Dean drops down and shoves the ladder over. Dean goes up until Harper powerbombs him off the ladder and through a ladder bridged between the barricade and ring. Ziggler tries a sleeper on Harper as he climbs, followed by the Zig Zag to bring them crashing down.

Somehow Dolph is able to climb up, only to have Barrett pull him down into the Bull Hammer. Another one knocks Truth off but Bryan makes a quick climb and kicks Barrett down. Barrett is right back up though and makes a save, followed by a quick running knee from Bryan, allowing him to climb up, headbutt Ziggler off and win the title at 13:55.

Rating: B. Giving Bryan a title (the fifth different one he’s fought for in five years) is a good idea as it lets the fans get it out of their system with a feel good moment. If he hadn’t won here, the fans would have probably hijacked the show with their DANIEL BRYAN chants because if Bryan isn’t the featured attraction, there’s no way they can possibly enjoy the show. Some fans. Anyway, this was exactly what the match should have been: Money in the Bank but for a title. Unfortunately Bryan would get hurt again and be out of action in less than a month, putting him on the shelf indefinitely.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton. Rollins broke up the Shield last year and became the Authority’s young ace, which ticked Orton off. This led to a feud with Rollins putting Orton on the shelf (meaning onto a movie set) with a Curb Stomp onto some steps. Then Orton returned and rejoined the Authority for a few weeks, only to turn on them again and attack Rollins to set this up. After all that stupid, they went with a simpler idea: Orton as the original future of the WWE vs. Rollins as the new future.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Rollins is Mr. Money in the Bank and has Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble as his personal stooges. Seth starts by flipping away from Orton, only to eat a dropkick and bail to the floor from the threat of an RKO. Back in and a big clothesline looks to set up the RKO again but the Stooges offer a distraction to break it up. Orton deals with them early off a double elevated DDT from the apron.

The distraction lets Seth get in his first offense though and Orton is in trouble. A snap suplex gets two and we’re in the chinlock on Orton. Back up and Orton grabs a powerslam, followed by a t-bone suplex to send Rollins to the apron. As luck would have it, he’s in position for the elevated DDT but Seth pops up with an enziguri, followed by an Asai moonsault to put both guys on the floor.

Back in and Randy can’t get a superplex but he’ll settle for a top rope backdrop and a high cross body, only to have Seth roll through for two. A low superkick staggers Orton and Seth tries standing Sliced Bread #2, only to get caught in the RKO for a very close two. That’s a move you don’t see kicked out of very often. The Stooges break up the Punt to keep this PG, allowing Rollins to hit the Curb Stomp for two. Seth tries it again but this time Orton launches him into the air and catches him in the RKO for the pin at 13:15.

Rating: B. Good but not great here with the near falls off the false finishes not having the best heat in the world. That ending is more than worth it though and looked awesome with Orton being able to catch that thing from almost anywhere. Orton is the kind of guy that you can throw in there whenever you need a spot like this and the fans are going to freak out over the RKO every time, especially when it’s something like that. Good stuff.

Ronda Rousey is here.

We recap HHH vs. Sting, which started back at Survivor Series but Sting disappeared for a few months, as is his custom. Sting stood up against the Authority’s corruption so the Authority talked down to him for never being in the big pond before, because WCW’s legacy exists for WWE to stomp on it and beat their chest over the battle that ended fourteen years ago. This turned into a big thing about the Monday Night Wars with Sting being the last soldier from WCW that had to be vanquished.

As a side note, here’s a great example of why Stephanie gets on people’s nerves. On one of the last shows before this match, Sting came out to say that this shouldn’t be about the Monday Night Wars because that would be totally ridiculous. This brought out Stephanie, to insist that it WAS about the Monday Night Wars and barely letting Sting get in another word, because she had spoken and that’s all that mattered.

HHH vs. Sting

No DQ or countout. Sting is played to the ring by some kind of Japanese band with drums and a gong. As you might expect, HHH completely upstages him with a full on Terminator commercial with the robots rising from the stage, a clip from the movie, HHH dressed as a Terminator and Arnold Schwarzenegger himself appearing on screen for the introduction. It might be time to call in Robocop.

They lock up after forty five seconds and a shoulder drops HHH for more stalling. A hiptoss and dropkick put HHH in the corner and Sting is looking better than he has in years. Fans: “YOU STILL GOT IT!” HHH’s right hands and facebuster have little effect as Sting goes for the Scorpion Deathlock (basically a Sharpshooter), sending HHH bailing to the floor. HHH comes back in but gets whipped over the corner as this has been one sided for the first five minutes.

Sting goes to the floor though and the Stinger Splash hits the barricade by mistake, as it’s done all but roughly twice in his career. Back in and HHH whips him across the ring several times until Sting collapses. We hit the chinlock to slow things down again before HHH goes to the middle rope for some reason. He dives into the Scorpion and here’s DX (X-Pac and the New Age Outlaws) for the save.

Sting fights them off with ease and backdrops HHH onto them, setting up a dive off the top (remember that Sting is 56 here) to take them all out. Back in and a Pedigree gets two so HHH gets the sledgehammer (one of at least two under the ring). This brings out the NWO (Hall, Nash and Hogan) to save Sting (SO much wrong with that statement, not even counting trying to remember if the Kliq exists in storylines or not). They take their sweet time and eventually clean house, allowing Sting to hit the Scorpion Death Drop (reverse DDT) for two.

Now the Deathlock goes on and Hogan pulls the sledgehammer away. Gunn takes Nash down and Nash is holding his leg in what almost has to be a rib. Sting tries to put the hold back on but Shawn Michaels runs in for Sweet Chin Music (well the area a few inches in front of the chin that is). HHH only gets two and both guys are done. Shawn hands HHH the hammer but Hall gives Sting a bat for the awesome duel. HHH’s hammer is broken over the bat and Sting pounds away in the corner, only to dive into the sledgehammer to the face for the pin at 18:35.

Rating: B-. This was a blast until the ending which I really didn’t want to see. Of course the quality here was bad but they were never going to get a good match out there so why not just go for the big circus act? I know the logic is that you can’t have Sting come in and beat HHH because he was WCW, but again, IT WAS FOURTEEN YEARS AGO.

Why does anything about the other company matter anymore? Sting came in as a big, fun moment and then it’s HAHA HHH WINS AGAIN! To be fair though, this was his first Wrestlemania win in five years so it’s not like it happens often. Still though, fun stuff but the ending was a punch to the stomach.

Post match HHH shakes Sting’s hand. As in the guy he hit in the face with a hammer two minutes ago. This doesn’t make any sense as HHH is still the corrupt villain, meaning Sting’s original mission should be ongoing. Forget all that though as this was one more rehash of the Monday Night Wars because people still care about that.

Ads for new shows coming to the WWE Network, including the new Divas Search.

Maria Menunos, in a Bushwhackers shirt, brings in Daniel Bryan. First ever Intercontinental Champion Pat Patterson comes in to congratulate him, as do Roddy Piper, Ricky Steamboat, Ric Flair (of course) and Bret Hart, who starts a YES chant. Ron Simmons comes in and scares them all before hitting his catchphrase.

Skylar Grey, Kid Ink and Travis Barker perform the theme songs. Thankfully it wasn’t a full on medley.

AJ Lee/Paige vs. Bella Twins

Real people vs. reality stars (from Total Divas), even though Paige had already become a cast member. Nikki is Divas Champion and in the middle of her reign of doom. Paige debuted at the Raw after Wrestlemania last year and has formed a dream team with AJ to take on the sisters.

Nikki and Paige have a catfight to start with the champ getting the better of it and knocking AJ off the apron. An Alabama Slam gets two on off an Alabama Slam. Brie comes in with a middle rope missile dropkick as the announcers debate the importance of the women not on Total Divas. AJ gets knocked off the apron again and Brie’s running knee to Paige gets two.

Back to Nikki who drops AJ for the third time, followed by the Rack Attack for two on Paige. They’re even kicking out of the finishers in midcard matches now. Paige superkicks Nikki down and both Bellas wind up on the floor, setting up Paige’s flip dive off the apron. The hot tag FINALLY brings in AJ who is quickly slammed down for two but Brie has to save Nikki from the Black Widow. Nikki forearms AJ for two more, only to get caught in the Black Widow for the submission at 6:42.

Rating: C-. This was a handicap match for the first half with Paige cleaning house, which was made even weirder when AJ came in anyway. Not that it mattered though as the Bellas were going to be pushed as the stars as long as they wanted to because of that stupid reality show. In theory this should have set up AJ as the next challenger but she retired later in the week and left the company for good.

We get a tale of the tape for Lesnar vs. Reigns, which Cole says is the result of a computer analysis. The stats include height, weight and career accomplishments. Did this computer analysis take place in the Korean War?

Hall of Fame video, with highlights of Lanny Poffo reading a poem to induct his brother Randy Savage and Connor Michalek receiving the first Warrior Award.

The Class of 2015 includes Rikishi, Larry Zbyszko (mainly famous in the 80s), Alundra Blayze, Connor Michalek, the Bushwhackers (with Butch on crutches but still doing the strut), Tatsumi Fujinami (a legendary Japanese wrestler), Randy Savage (represented by his brother), Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Kevin Nash (for the required Kliq member, though I wonder why he can go in under his real name and not Hall).

We recap John Cena vs. Rusev for the US Title. Rusev, an evil Bulgarian/Russian, won the title late last year and is undefeated. He’s run through all kinds of American stars and even beat Cena via knockout at Fast Lane 2015. Tonight is the big rematch (as granted by Rusev’s manager Lana to plant the seeds for their split) and showdown for the title. This is one of those stories that worked for years and is still working now because it’s such a simple idea.

US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging. Rusev’s entrance trumps everything tonight as the Russian military accompanies Lana to the ring before Rusev rolls out IN A TANK. This is so Rocky IV. Cena has a video montage of Presidents of the United States talking about American exceptionalism until Cena walks out. The fans do the always awesome JOHN CENA SUCKS chant to the tune of his music.

The champ spinwheel kicks the American down to start and dives at Cena for a gutwrench suplex (from Rusev in a cool move) for two. A Cannonball in the corner gets the same but Rusev stops to wave the Russian flag. You don’t do that to a real American so Cena kicks him in the face and starts his way too early finishing sequence. The top rope Fameasser gets two but the fans are too busy cheering for Lana to care.

The AA is broken up and a jumping superkick drops Cena cold. Rusev argues with the referee though and Cena hooks a tornado DDT for two more. A quick Alabama Slam (that’s how you do it Nikki) looks to set up the Accolade (Rusev’s camel clutch finisher) but Cena pulls him down into the STF. As Cena does some of the loudest instructing I’ve ever heard (telling Rusev to keep his head up), Lana throws in a shoe for a distraction so Rusev can make the ropes. Seriously, a shoe? You couldn’t like, go yell at him or something? At least it was rather heelish.

Rusev throws him down with a fall away slam, followed by a top rope headbutt of all things for two. He can’t quite get the Accolade though, allowing Cena to kick him away and debut the springboard Stunner for two of his own. Another jumping superkick and a wheelbarrow slam set up the Accolade and the fans are THRILLED. This time Cena powers out and grabs the STF. Lana offers another distraction but Rusev rams into her by mistake, setting up the AA to give Cena the title at 14:43.

Rating: C+. It’s cool to see Cena drop down the card like this as he’s been in the main event for so long now that it’s hard to get into seeing him win the World Title again. The match was good enough even if there was an obvious ending but the Accolade could have stayed on longer. Rusev was built up to lose at a match like this and there’s nothing wrong with that. It would have been interesting to see Rusev escape again here though and have Cena chase him over the summer.

Rusev blames Lana for the loss.

Wrestlemania XXXII is in Dallas.

The pre-show panel talks about the Tag Team Title match and Big Show winning the battle royal. Thanks for reminding me.

Here are HHH and Stephanie to brag about the new attendance record and desperately fill in some time as we have two matches left and nearly an hour and a half to go. Stephanie talks about watching Wrestlemania I live and seeing her friend Andre the Giant (This was a thing for her around this time as she would mention this whenever she could. For some reason this was her justification for not letting Cena be in the Andre battle royal.).

Wrestlemania has grown exponentially since then and it’s all because of the Authority’s leadership. HHH says it’s like he beat everyone here tonight, just like he beat Sting (Buy a ticket, get a hammer to the face!). They own everyone here because the Authority wins. That means they own the people and that means it’s time for the Rock. Cole says Rock has headlined five Wrestlemanias. Are they really still going with the idea that Rock vs. Hogan wasn’t the headliner?

The fans keep cheering until Stephanie asks them to be quiet because we get the idea. Rock tells Stephanie that she doesn’t own the people here, including himself because he was born right around here. As for HHH, he can either go dress up as the Terminator again or they can make a Wrestlemania moment right here and right now. HHH doesn’t seem interested so, just like Rock left his heart in San Francisco, HHH clearly left something back in Connecticut.

Stephanie gets in Rock’s face and says he knows there’s no Rock without the McMahons. Rock’s dad Rocky Johnson would be nowhere without Vince Sr., Vince Jr. and Stephanie. That starts a chant for Shane, which even Cole acknowledges. Rock says that Stephanie would be nowhere without Vince so she slaps him. Stephanie keeps ranting as Rock goes outside……and stands next to Ronda Rousey. Fans: “RONDA’S GONNA KILL YOU!” Rock introduces her to Stephanie but Stephanie says they’re friends already.

Stephanie KEEPS GOING and says this is her ring. Ronda says any ring she steps into is hers so Stephanie can make her leave. Stephanie smiles at her but Rousey gives her a look, which Rock sums up as meaning “she’s going to reach down your throat, pull out your insides and play jump rope with your Fallopian tubes.” HHH tries to interrupt and gets beaten down, including a hiptoss from Rousey. Stephanie loads up the slap but gets her arm bent back with as little force as possible, likely due to UFC contract stipulations. Rousey and Rock stand tall.

There’s no time to recap Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker but it’s what you would expect: Bray wants to be the new evil monster and Undertaker stands in his way. The interesting note here is Bray sprained the heck out of his ankle earlier in the day so he’s nowhere near 100%.

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

The awesome entrances continue (well as awesome as a guy holding a lantern when it’s still daylight can be) as Bray walks down the ramp and passes a string of zombies who come to life as he goes by. Undertaker has grown some hair back and looks like he did in 2002. Bray charges into a boot before the bell, though that might be all that ankle can handle for the match.

Some driving shoulders set up Old School (notice that Undertaker’s offense here keeps Bray from having to stand alone) but a running clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor. He lands on his feet though and pulls Bray out to keep up the beating. The apron legdrop staggers Bray even more but he breaks up the big boot with his running cross body. Bray takes his time pounding Undertaker down which makes sense coming from him.

The ankle is fine enough for a running splash in the corner but Bray drops down and puts on a chinlock. For someone as banged up as he is, this is a solid performance from Wyatt. Undertaker’s head is rammed into the post but Bray goes down and holds his ankle. I don’t know why they didn’t do a quick angle during the match to explain the injury. Back in and Bray can’t stand at first.

Undertaker grabs Hell’s Gate but Bray punches his way out before it goes on full. A release Rock Bottom sets up the backsplash for two on Undertaker. Sister Abigail is countered into a chokeslam followed by a Tombstone for two. These near falls are WAY past overdone so far tonight. Another Tombstone is countered into Sister Abigail to freak Bray out even more. Bray does his spider bridge up but Undertaker sits up and glares into Wyatt’s eyes, sending Bray wilting to the mat in a perfect reaction. Bray actually wins a slugout but Sister Abigail is countered into a second Tombstone to give Undertaker the pin at 15:06.

Rating: C+. This match told me a few things. First and foremost, last year’s match was so bad because of the injury. Undertaker looked like his old (emphasis on that word) self here and was nowhere near as off as he was last year. Unfortunately it also tells me that Bray isn’t going to move up the card any time soon.

With the Streak over there’s no real reason for Undertaker to win here, other than to give the fans a feel good moment. Bray was trying as hard as he could on one leg but he could only get so far. Finally, Undertaker is missing something now that the Streak is gone. 21-1 still sounds impressive but it’s just not the same.

Ad for Extreme Rules.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. Brock has been unstoppable lately after squashing Cena to win the title at Summerslam 2014. Reigns won the Royal Rumble to earn the shot, despite being LOATHED by the crowd at this point. The idea became about him trying to honor his family’s history and legacy which worked to a degree, but no matter what they did, it was still Brock Lesnar on the other side and people wanted to see him massacre Reigns in every way he could think of.

The other problem for Reigns is he hasn’t really earned the spot. Aside from the Rumble, his only major win was last month over Daniel Bryan. This really wasn’t the strongest build in the world and is boiling down to Brock suplexes a lot and Reigns hits him a lot. Roman has been told he can’t beat Brock and his motivation is to prove him wrong. That’s the extent of his motivation and that’s not enough for the main event of Wrestlemania.

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Brock is defending of course. We do the big match intros and Reigns is booed out of the building, following by the fans to quote Heyman’s intro along with him. Roman goes right at Brock to start but gets driven into the corner, setting up the first German suplex. Brock is already bleeding but he hits the F5 inside of thirty seconds. A release fisherman’s suplex sends Reigns flying but he elbows out of a German, drawing incredible booing from the crowd.

Brock no sells a clothesline and now the German sends Reigns across the ring again. Reigns smiles at Brock, earning himself a belly to back suplex and Brock debuting the “SUPLEX CITY” line. Right hands don’t bother Brock either as another German drops Reigns again. Roman keeps smiling so Brock breaks it up with a release German. The fans think this is awesome as Brock forearms Reigns off the apron and into the barricade. As he gets back in, Reigns scores with a knee to the ribs, followed by some kicks to the face but Brock catches a foot and knocks Reigns silly with a clothesline.

A belly to belly overhead brings Reigns back in over the top rope but Reigns shakes his head at Brock again. Another F5 gets two and now Brock take the gloves off. Some hard slaps put Reigns down but he tells Brock to bring it on. Another German earns him another bring it on so Brock gives him suplex number ten. The third F5 gets two more, putting Reigns past Undertaker last year. Brock takes Roman outside but Reigns posts him, drawing some real blood from Lesnar.

Back in and Brock is wobbly so Roman its two straight Superman Punches. That gets him to a knee but Reigns has to elbow out of another German. The third Superman Punch puts Brock down and there’s the spear. Brock is up though so a second spear gets a VERY close two. Heyman is on his knees praying as the fans are booing Roman even more. A fourth Superman Punch is countered into a fourth F5…….AND HERE COMES SETH ROLLINS TO CASH IN MONEY IN THE BANK!

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

The Curb Stomp puts Brock down but Reigns has to spear Brock down to save Seth from an F5. Another Curb Stomp (and a whisper of “thank you so much” to Reigns) gives Seth the title at 16:43!

Rating: A-. They went in a TOTALLY different direction here and it was the best thing they possibly could have done. Reigns vs. Lesnar had little interest as a match but as a one sided war with Reigns giving it everything he had near the end, they turned it into one of the most dramatic spectacles you could find. They had me on the near fall after that second spear and I lost it when Rollins came out.

That ending was a stroke of brilliance as they didn’t want to job Lesnar but they didn’t want to give Reigns the title yet. Rollins had been the wrestler of the year in 2014 and it made much better sense to give him the credit that he deserved for it here. Great drama, great action, and a way better match that it had any right to be.

Fireworks and posing take us out.

Overall Rating: B+. I actually liked this show a lot more live, which probably had a lot to do with the expectations being so low coming in. With more time to think about it and the shock of the cash in being gone, it’s still a really strong show that FAR exceeded expectations. The main event was great and most of the other stuff was good. Aside from the main event there really isn’t a big blow away match though and that hurts things a bit.

The entire show was set up differently this year as there were very few backstage segments and the show was able to fly by otherwise. However, there was that big twenty plus minute segment with Rock/HHH/Stephanie and that’s what caused a big part of this show’s problem: it’s too long.

Counting the two hour pre-show and it’s nearly thirty minutes of wrestling, this show runs nearly six hours. It doesn’t matter if it’s the greatest show you’ve ever watched; that’s too long. There had to be something that could be cut in here (hint: it was the long part that didn’t involve a match), even though none of the matches broke twenty minutes. Between the big talking segment and the live performance, which still adds nothing to the show, there’s too much in here and it makes for a very long sit.

Overall though, this was a major surprise and a better show than it had any right to be. The low expectations helped it a lot, but this was looking like one of the worst Wrestlemanias in history and wound up being a lot of fun. Nothing on it really stands out above the rest (save for maybe the main event) so the whole is greater than the sum of all its parts. Really fun show here.

Ratings Comparison

New Day vs. Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd

Original: C+

Redo: B

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D+

Redo: D

Intercontinental Title Ladder Match

Original: B

Redo: B

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: B

Sting vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: B-

Paige/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Rusev vs. John Cena

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

Original: B

Redo: C+

Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: B+

Yeah the shock had a lot to do with it but there was good stuff throughout.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/03/29/wrestlemania-xxxi-shock-and-awe-shock-and-awe/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXXI
Date: March 29, 2015
Location: Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara, California
Attendance: 76,976
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Tonight is the night. Even though the build hasn’t been the best in recent history, this is still Wrestlemania and the biggest show of the year. The main event is the recently re-signed Brock Lesnar defending his WWE World Heavyweight Title against the winner of the Royal Rumble, Roman Reigns. The card looks good on paper but that has to translate to something more. Let’s get to it.

The stage is HUGE and has a big circle in the middle for a Titantron.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kid vs. New Day

One fall to a finish here. Cesaro and Kidd are defending, Jey Uso has a banged up shoulder and it’s Kofi and Big E for New Day. The Usos are in regular short trunks with tassels and are in San Francisco 49ers colors. The fans are behind Cesaro as he starts with Kingston but Fernando tags Cesaro to come in. Cesaro goes after Jey on the floor and sends him into the barricade, likely to write him out of the match due to his shoulder.

Back in and Kofi takes Fernando down for two as Jimmy checks on his brother. Diego slingshots in with a hilo to Kofi and it’s back to Cesaro for a chinlock. Jey is taken out as Kidd comes in for the Swing into the dropkick for two. Everything breaks down for a bit until it’s only Kofi and Kidd with the latter holding a chinlock. Jimmy comes back in and cleans house with superkicks all around and four straight running Umaga attacks in the corner.

Kofi dives off the top onto Fernando, leaving Jimmy to drop Kidd for a close two. Cesaro drops Jimmy with an uppercut but Big E. tags himself in for a splash on both guys. He throws Kofi at Cesaro for two but everyone goes to the corner for a series of superplexes, a splash and Los Matadores with a powerbomb into a backstabber for two on Kofi. Natalya (and her very low cut outfit) offer a distraction, allowing Torito to hurricanrana Woods into the barricade.

Natalya puts Torito in the Sharpshooter but Naomi dives on a bunch of people, followed by a Rear View to Natalya. Back in and the Midnight Hour gets two on Fernando with Jimmy and Cesaro making a save. The referee actually says Big E. isn’t legal (Lawler: “How would he know?”) with Fernando but Kidd tags himself in anyway, only to have Big E. throw him and Fernando onto his shoulders at the same time.

Kofi kicks Kidd and knees Cesaro in the corner but Los Matadores get in there to knock Cesaro to the floor. The announcers are already calling this a car wreck. A six man Tower of Doom puts everyone not named Uso down, leaving Jimmy to splash Big E. but Cesaro runs in to steal the pin and retain at 10:00.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as good as last year but it was a completely different kind of match. This was a huge mess with everyone all over the place and no flow to the match after the five minute mark. That being said, at least they went with the right choice for the winners and Natalya got to keep looking awesome. Not a great match or anything but it was fast paced and fun, which is what something like this should be doing.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

The Miz, Curtis Axel, Ryback, Fandango, Adam Rose, Zack Ryder, Jack Swagger, Titus O’Neil, Darren Young, Big Show, Kane, Erick Rowan, Damien Mizdow, Sin Cara, Goldust, Heath Slater, Mark Henry, Konnor, Viktor, Hideo Itami, Cesaro, Jimmy Uso, Diego, Fernando, Bo Dallas, Kofi Kingston, Big E., Xavier Woods, Tyson Kidd, Alex Riley

There are some unannounced people in there, including everyone in the opener, but I’m not sure I have everyone included. Axel does the Hogan pose and everyone eliminates him at once. It’s a huge mess to start so it’s really hard to see what’s going on. Itami kicks away at Cesaro and gets a great reaction from the fans. Rose and Fandango eliminate each other and Show chops Itami. Miz and Mizdow go after Riley and get him out without too much of a problem.

Bo Dallas breaks up the Broski Boot and dumps Ryder, only to eliminate himself in celebration. He goes back in anyway so Itami kicks him out again. Kidd and Itami kick it out but Big Show punches Hideo out. So much for NXT meaning anything. Kane dumps Los Matadores and Cesaro throws Sin Cara onto the two of them. Henry throws Kidd onto the pile but Ascension gets together to throw him out.

Ascension goes after Big Show as and actually knock him down but JBL points out the obvious problem that creates. Ryback eliminates Viktor and Konnor at the same time, followed by doing the same to Young and Slater. Titus gets eliminated by Ryback as well but it’s Big Show clotheslining Ryback down before knocking out Swagger. New Day triple teams Big Show but he eliminates all of them with ease. We’re down to Jimmy Uso, Rowan, Big Show, Cesaro, Kane, Ryback, Goldust, Miz and Mizdow.

Things finally slow down until Big Show eliminates Rowan (were you expecting anything else?) and Ryback dumps Goldust. Kane breaks up a Shell Shock to Big Show and chokeslams Miz and Mizdow. Cesaro hangs on and slides back in to slam Kane out for a big reaction. Show tosses Jimmy and it’s Cesaro vs. Big Show just like last year. This time though Big Show escapes the slam and throws Cesaro out. Instead it’s Ryback spinebustering Show as we’re down to Ryback, Big Show, Miz and Mizdow.

Show counters the Meat Hook and throws out Ryback, leaving Show to smile at the only two left. The fans cheer for Mizdow, who FINALLY tells Miz no. Miz tries to talk him down and yells at him as Big Show just stands around for two minutes while they argue. Miz goes after Big Show and gets eliminated to a big reaction, only to turn around and see Big Show.

JBL keeps harping on Big Show never winning a battle royal in WWE but Mizdow skins the cat to get back inside. He hammers away but gets taken down by a shoulder. Mizdow avoids a charge to send Show to the apron but Show grabs him by the throat. A guillotine choke looks to do the same ending as the 2004 Royal Rumble but Show shoves him off and wins at 18:11.

Rating: D+. Good grief man really? I mean REALLY? Their big idea is to FINALLY turn Mizdow to a hug…..screw sarcasm. I’m sick of Big Show, I’m sick of him getting pushed, I’m sick of WWE thinking he’s interesting because he’s big, and I’m sick of his old body getting these big moments because he was there in the Attitude Era with his stupid country sounding song. Thanks for all the work Mizdow. Maybe you’ll get a better push if you grow a foot and turn 44.

Aloe Blacc (I haven’t heard of him either) sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video features LL Cool J talking about how universal the world has become with everyone being connected. However, one thing stays the same: us. People come together and feel a connection between themselves. J talks about some great moments in Wrestlemania and says these generations have come together for this night. Kind of a far cry from the huge party down the streets of New Orleans.

Intercontinental Title: Bad News Barrett vs. Stardust vs. R-Truth vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper

Ladder match with Barrett defending. Pat Patterson is here to put the belt up, which makes sense as he’s the first Intercontinental Champion and had his greatest fame in this area. Ziggler seems to have braided his hair, Stardust has a cape and Ambrose gets the loudest pop. Dean hits the ring and the brawl is on in a hurry. Truth flip dives onto Barrett and Ambrose but Stardust dives onto all three.

Harper throws Ziggler outside too and hits a big suicide dive. Not to be out done, Dean climbs a ladder for a flying elbow drop to the pile. Truth is up first and goes for the belt but Barrett cleans house with a ladder of his own. Bryan comes in with some running dropkicks to crush Stardust into the ladder into Barrett in the corner but Harper throws the ladder at Daniel’s head. Harper gets tied upside down in the ladder and Bryan fires off some YES Kicks. Apparently being a former World Champion makes you immune to falling ladders.

Ziggler and his hair of doom comes back in with a superkick to Daniel before getting into a climbing contest with Dean. Barrett pulls both guys down before Stardust knocks all three of them down and crushes Ambrose’s legs in the ladder. Stardust goes outside and pulls out the, I quote, Exo-Atmospheric Star Bird. In other words, a ladder with glitter on the sides. That’s fine with Barrett who rips a rung off and beats Stardust with it because I guess he likes black ladders.

We get a stepladder thrown in and Harper sends Dean face first into the ladder in the corner. It’s time for the Terry Funk helicopter spot but Truth drop toeholds him down to break it up. Truth brings in the big ladder but can’t find the middle of the ring, allowing Barrett and Stardust to climb up with Bad News superplexing him down. Dean shoves Bryan and Ziggler’s ladder down before hitting the rebound clothesline to Harper.

That’s fine with Luke as he powerbombs Dean over the top and through a bridged ladder at ringside. Dolph puts Harper in the sleeper but Luke climbs anyway, only to fall backwards to crush Ziggler again. Ziggler is up first though and makes a fast attempt, only to get pulled into a Bull Hammer. Stardust and Truth get one as well but it’s Bryan making the save, only to have Ziggler and Barrett pull down. Back up and the running knee puts Bad News down but Ziggler sprints up the ladder for a slugout. The belt starts swaying but it turns into a headbutt exchange. It’s Ziggler going down though and Bryan wins at 13:55.

Rating: B. Total mess for the most part here but Bryan winning is the smart move. The guy is still one of the most popular guys on the roster and hopefully they’re not going to give him the losing streak. Maybe this makes it the wrestler’s title again, which would be the best thing they could do with the belt. Really good opener here with the right ending to top it off. Harper looked great here too and is a star in the making if they ever figure out how to use him.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins with a different twist: both guys have been called the future but now Orton might be surpassed. Then they go with the stupid story of Orton attacking the Authority, then joining the Authority, then attacking them again. It never made sense before and it doesn’t now.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Orton has elbow pads again. Some headlocks get us nowhere so Rollins does a standing backflip, only to eat a dropkick. After a quick chase on the floor, Rollins stomps away in the corner but Orton takes his head off with a clothesline. The RKO is broken up by a Stooges distraction, earning them a double elevated DDT onto the floor to get us down to one on one. It takes too much time though and Rollins nails a suicide dive to take Orton out.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Rollins takes Orton down with a running splash in the corner. An early Curb Stomp attempt is countered into a powerslam followed by a t-bone suplex. Another elevated DDT is countered though and Rollins kicks him to the floor for an Asai Moonsault. Back in and Orton’s superplex is countered but he backdrops Rollins to break up superbomb attempt.

Rollins rolls through a high cross body for two but now the elevated DDT connects. The RKO is countered into the low superkick but Rollins tries a standing Sliced Bread #2, only to walk into the RKO for a very close near fall. That’s not a move you see kicked out of often (outside of a John Cena match of course). The Stooges come in to break up the Punt and take RKOs, setting up a Curb Stomp for another close two. Rollins misses the Phoenix Splash but tries another Curb Stomp, only to be LAUNCHED into the air for the RKO and the pin at 13:35.

Rating: B. Not quite the show stealer it could have been, but man alive that was one heck of an RKO. I was thinking they were going to do the Phoenix Splash into the RKO but that would have been a bit too far. The ending was sweet though and it’s the second really good match in a row to start things off. Orton winning is surprising, but we might not be done with Rollins tonight.

Ronda Rousey is here.

We recap HHH vs. Sting with the on the Authority being corrupt before changing to HHH just wanting to end Sting’s legacy.

Sting vs. HHH

Sting is played out by a Japanese drum group. HHH one ups him with scenes from the new Terminator movie, a shot from the Terminator’s view, and an army of Terminators on stage. HHH is in Terminator attire and Arnold Schwarzenegger himself appears on the screen to say it’s time to play the game. Sting shouldn’t be scared. After all, he knows Robocop. In an added stipulation, you can only win by pinfall or submission. Sting is in his singlet instead of a t-shirt.

After a 45 second staredown, it’s time for the first lockup with Sting shouldering him down. HHH does the same and throws out a crotch chop. Sting is right back up with a dropkick and HHH is stunned. The facebuster is no sold but HHH bails from a Scorpion attempt. Sting follows him out and gets sent hard into the steps to give HHH his first advantage. Back in and HHH starts on the ribs before putting on a chinlock. That goes as far as you would expect before HHH gets two off a spinebuster. We hit the chinlock again but Sting counters into the Deathlock.

Cue the New Age Outlaws and X-Pac (remember no DQ). Sting fights them off with ease and throws HHH to the floor before dives off the top to take DX down! Back in and the Pedigree connects for two with the fans not really buying that as a major threat just yet. It’s sledgehammer time but cue Hall, Nash and Hogan to make it about the Monday Night Wars again. You know, because Sting was SO into the Black and White.

The Death Drop gets two on HHH and we hit a long Deathlock as everyone fights at ringside (with Nash going down and holding his leg, which would be one heck of a rib). Shawn Michaels runs in with Sweet Chin Music to break it up but Sting gets up at two. Gunn hands HHH the sledgehammer but Hall gives Sting the bat. A bat shot to the ribs puts HHH down and another BREAKS THE HAMMER! The Stinger Splash staggers HHH but he comes back with the head of the hammer to knock Sting cold for the pin at 18:35.

Rating: B-. GOOD GRIEF. I was having a great time with the nostalgia until they completely missed the point with the ending. What in the world is the point in bringing Sting in to have him lose? For the sake of doing one more shot at WCW for the Monday Night Wars? That thing that was FIFTEEN YEARS AGO and Vince still isn’t over? The worst part for me was the match was actually rocking before the ending. This was a really fun match until the bad ending, which is way more than I was expecting.

HHH shakes his hand post match. Uh, no. YOU HIT HIM IN THE FACE WITH A HAMMER AFTER COMING OUT WITH AN ARMY OF ROBOTS! NO HE DOES NOT WANT TO SHAKE YOUR HAND!

New series coming to WWE Network: Camp WWE (Rated mature), Jerry Springer’s Too Hot For WWE, a Jackass style show and the new Divas Search.

Daniel Bryan is with Maria Menunos (in a Bushwhackers shirt) when Pat Patterson, Roddy Piper (with a kiss to the head), Ricky Steamboat and Ric Flair come up to congratulate him. A Woo-off ensues until Bret Hart comes in to shake Bryan’s hand and starts a YES chant. Cue Ron Simmons and you know the rest.

Skyler Gray performs the theme song. I’ll use this break to say this show has rocked so far and is WAY better than I was expecting coming in.

Paige/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins

No recap video but it’s about the Bellas being celebrities and AJ/Paige being themselves. Paige (with blue highlights) takes Nikki down to start but gets caught in an Alabama Slam for an early two. Off to Brie for a front facelock before knocking AJ off the apron. The BRIE MODE running knee to the face gets two for Brie before Nikki comes in with a spinebuster. Paige fights back but there’s still no AJ to tag. Instead she just dives off the apron with a flip to take out both Bellas and now the hot tag brings in AJ.

A quick tornado guillotine onto the top rope sets up a high cross body but Nikki rolls through for two of her own. Nikki lifts her up for an electric chair but AJ spins out into a DDT which was slightly botched but looked good enough. Brie breaks up the Black Widow but Nikki’s big forearm only gets two. Paige sends Brie into the steps and the Black Widow makes Nikki tap at 6:40.

Rating: C+. Well that happened. It was a step above most Divas matches but this really didn’t do anything special. Like I said coming into this match, if there’s nothing on the line, this doesn’t mean much. I’m pretty sure AJ has made Nikki tap before, so this really doesn’t mean anything. Decent match but it certainly didn’t knock anything out of the park. The time didn’t do it any favors though.

Hall of Fame video.

The Class of 2015 is presented. Butch is on crutches but still does the arm wacking.

We recap John Cena vs. Rusev. Cena passed out in the Accolade last month but he choked Rusev out to get a rematch. This is firmly about the USA vs. Russia and Cena wanting to bring the title back home.

US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena

Lana is back and carrying the title, flanked by Russian soldiers carrying the Russian flag. Rusev RIDES OUT IN A TANK to the Russian national anthem. Cena counters with an American theme with various Presidents talking about American exceptionalism but just walks out with the fans singing “John Cena sucks” in time to his music ala the Raw after Wrestlemania last year. Rusev insists that his big match intro is first and Cena stares a hole through him.

Rusev scores with an early spinwheel kick for two and throws Cena around with a suplex. He stops to get the Russian flag though and Cena gets fired up, meaning it’s time to start his finishing sequence. The AA doesn’t work though and Rusev gets two off a spinning belly to back suplex. Rusev gets the same off a spinning Rock Bottom but his superplex is countered for a top rope Fameasser. The fans start chanting for Lana but get shut down as Cena gets two off a tornado DDT.

Rusev comes back with a knee to the head and an Alabama Slam (Russian for “TELL HER THAT’S HOW IT’S DONE!”) for two. Cena takes him down with the STF but Lana throws her shoes in for some reason (that was a real, ahem, heel move) as Rusev makes the ropes. He slams Cena down again and goes up for a pretty good looking top rope headbutt and two more.

The Accolade doesn’t work so Cena gets up, jumps at the ropes like a Lionsault but catches Rusev in a Stunner of all things for two. Rusev shrugs it off and puts on the Accolade but Cena gets to his feet and rams Rusev into the corner. The STF goes on but Lana offers a distraction, only to have Rusev accidentally knock her down, setting up the AA for the pin at 14:43.

Rating: B-. Good match but a bit below their previous match and not exactly the emotion they were going for. They hit all the big points but Cena winning was kind of just there instead of having a big impact. I’m thinking more about that Stunner than anything else, but it’s nice to see Cena with a midcard title and taking a backseat to the World Title. Not that he doesn’t belong in the title scene, but this is refreshing.

Post match Rusev yells at Lana and leaves.

It’s 9:30 and we have two matches left. Those are going to have to go a long time to make this fit. It’s possible that that’s a stretch.

Wrestlemania XXXII is in Dallas on April 3, 2016.

The pre-show panel talks for a bit and recaps the two matches before the show started.

Here are Stephanie and HHH to announce the new attendance record: 76,976. Stephanie talks about being at Wrestlemania I to watch her friend Andre the Giant (my goodness let it go Steph) slam Big John Studd. She takes credit for the evolution of WWE because this company has grown under her leadership. HHH says he beat Sting tonight but he also beat everyone who bet against them. It’s like he beat everyone here tonight and millions more around the world. He owned Sting and every superstar and Diva back there. They own the people too and you know what that means.

Cue the Rock for a huge ovation. Stephanie: “Ok you’re happy to see him. Can you be quiet now?” Rock says the Authority doesn’t own the people or the Rock because he’s an East Bay boy (meaning from this area of California). HHH’s options are to go dress up like Terminator again or we can have a Wrestlemania moment right here, right now. HHH remembers beating Rock in most of their matches so he has nothing to prove. Rock left his heart in San Francisco but HHH left his balls in Connecticut.

Stephanie gets in his face and says Rock is trying to get the fans to cheer for him because he knows without the McMahons, there is no Rock. She brings up Rock’s father and grandfather but the fans chant for Shane. Rock says Stephanie can run her mouth about the McMahons and the Johnsons, but she wouldn’t be in power without McMahon’s Johnson. Stephanie slaps him in the face and asks if he’s going to hit her.

Rock actually leaves as Stephanie still won’t shut up, so Rock goes over to……Ronda Rousey. Fans: “RONDA’S GONNA KILL YOU!” Rock says he would never hit a woman, but Rousey would be happy to. Stephanie says they’re friends but Ronda just stares at her. See, this is Stephanie’s ring so she’s not scared of Ronda. Ronda says any ring she steps into is hers so make her leave.

Stephanie still won’t shut up so Rock warns her about the look on Rousey’s face. “That look means she’s about to reach down your throat and play jump rope with your Fallopian tubes.” HHH remembers that he’s here and says that’s the last thing Rock is saying about Stephanie.

The fight is on and Rock hammers away before Rousey takes HHH down as well. Stephanie pulls back for the slap but Rousey catches the arm….and lets her go as Stephanie screams in pain. Rock says that’s the Wrestlemania moment of the night. WAY longer than it needed to be and Rousey didn’t get nearly enough heat off Stephanie but she looked at home in the ring.

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

No recap but Bray keeps the awesome entrances going with zombie scarecrows that come to life as he passes them. Bray sprained his ankle earlier in the night so he might not be moving like usual. The sun is still partially out so the entrances are nowhere near as ominous as usual. Undertaker has some hair again and looks similar to how he did back in 2002. Bray says all of this is his now and charges into a boot to the face before the bell.

The driving shoulders put Bray down again and Old School connects, only to have Bray nail him with a clothesline. Another clothesline puts Undertaker over the top but he pulls Bray outside. The apron legdrop has Bray in even more trouble as it’s almost all Undertaker early. Back in and Snake Eyes looks to set up the running boot but Bray takes him down with the running cross body. The running splash in the corner gets two and we hit the chinlock.

Undertaker is dragged over to the corner as Bray goes outside for a big running charge into the steps, possibly sending Undertaker’s head into the post. Back in and Bray goes to pick him up but gets caught in Hell’s Gate. Undertaker can’t quite get it locked in though and some right hands get Bray out. A release Rock Bottom and the backsplash get two and Undertaker is rocked.

Sister Abigail is countered into a chokeslam and the Tombstone gets two. Another Tombstone is countered into Sister Abigail for two. Bray Spiders up but Undertaker sits up and just stares at him, making Bray fall back to the mat in an unintentionally funny moment. The look basically said “Boy, what in God’s name do you think you’re doing?” Bray wins a slugout but takes too long mocking Undertaker, allowing Sister Abigail to be countered into another Tombstone for the pin at 15:06.

Rating: B. That sitout to break the spider walk was great but the match worked really well too. This really makes me think that last year was mostly due to the concussion, as this was much closer to the (still overrated) Punk match two years ago. Bray isn’t going to die because of this, but he needs a major win or a big feud soon. Undertaker winning was pretty much the only option, especially since he can still go this well. It wasn’t a masterpiece, but it was more than acceptable.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. To keep it short, Brock is a monster that can’t be beaten but Reigns says he can do it. There isn’t much more to it than that.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock is defending of course and Reigns doesn’t get the best reaction in the world. Reigns goes right for him but gets driven into the corner and thrown down with a German. The F5 from a bloody Lesnar connects in 31 seconds but he doesn’t cover. Brock throws him down again and Reigns looks stunned. He elbows out of another German and the fans are all over him. Brock no sells some clotheslines and throws Reigns with another German.

Reigns smiles up at him and shoves Brock’s face. Brock: “SUPLEX CITY!” Another comeback is countered with the fifth German of the match but Roman keeps smiling at him. Number six has Reigns in even more trouble and Brock drapes him across the top rope. The fans say this is awesome and Brock drives Reigns off the apron and into the barricade. As they come back in, Reigns scores with a knee to the face and fires some kicks to the chest to nothing but boos.

Brock catches a kick though and just BLASTS Reigns with a clothesline to send him back outside. Back in and another suplex sends Reigns flying as Brock seems to like the blood on his face. Now Reigns looks to have some blood in his mouth too. Brock belly to bellies him over the ropes and back inside, followed by the second F5 for two. There go Brock’s gloves and he slaps Reigns in the face a few times. Reigns starts laughing again so Brock throws him down with two more Germans. A third F5 only gets two and Brock is a combination of livid and shocked.

They head outside again and Brock goes hard into the post to really bust him open. He beats the count back in at nine and Reigns is smiling again. Now the Superman Punch connects but he doesn’t go down. A second puts him down in the corner on one knee but the third misses, only to have Reigns counter the German. Reigns headbutts him (hooray for racial stereotypes!) and nails the third Superman Punch followed by the spear but Lesnar stumbles to the corner. A second spear gets two and Reigns is stunned. I totally bought that as the finish.

Brock catches a third spear in the fourth F5 AND HERE COMES ROLLINS! He cashes in right now and I think we have a triple threat! Rollins kicks Reigns to the floor and connects with the Curb Stomp but loads up a second, allowing Lesnar to counter into the F5. Reigns spears Lesnar down but Rollins Curb Stomps Reigns to win the title at 16:43!

Rating: B+. YES! I’ve wanted Rollins to win the title for the better part of a year now and this is the PERFECT way to pay it off. They keep Lesnar looking like a killer, Reigns looks strong and above all else, ROLLINS IS THE WORLD CHAMPION! They were running into a problem with Lesnar as champion: you can only see him squash people for so long before it stops being entertaining. Let him go back to the big featured match and keep him away from the title (or turn him face) and let Rollins be the top star as he should be. I’m thrilled with this and couldn’t be happier. Great choice for an ending to a great show.

Overall Rating: A. We’ll file this under WHERE THE HECK DID THIS COME FROM??? I had a blast with this show and couldn’t be happier if I tried. Above all else, there were no bad matches on the whole card. Not a single one. The worst thing all night was a too long Rock vs. HHH segment to set up a huge match next year and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m still on a high from that ending and might be overrating the show, but this was a great night all around.

I need to give credit to the entrances too. These were on fire all night and the best thing about them was how much more of a spectacle they made the show. Yeah it’s cool to see them walk down a ramp, but having a tank, robots or a Japanese band (what was up with that?) makes it feel like you’re seeing something special.

I can’t believe how much I liked this show after dreading what I felt was coming. The best part about it though is the renewed faith in the company. Yeah, the build sucked, but they NAILED the show (save for one or two questionable booking moves) and the whole thing was just a blast all around. I had a great time with this and didn’t get bored once, save for a lame concert but we’ll ignore that for now. Really good show and a high quality all night, with the worst match being a totally watchable Divas tag. Loved it and I can’t believe how good of a time I had watching, especially the ending.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Dolph Ziggler, Luke Harper, Stardust, R-Truth, Dean Ambrose and Bad News Barrett – Bryan pulled down the title

Randy Orton b. Seth Rollins – RKO

HHH b. Sting – Sledgehammer to the face

AJ Lee/Paige b. Bella Twins – Black Widow to Nikki

John Cena b. Rusev – Attitude Adjustment

Undertaker b. Bray Wyatt – Tombstone

Seth Rollins b. Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar – Curb Stomp to Reigns

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Halloween Havoc 1994
Date: October 23, 1994
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 14,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

Someone requested this show and I haven’t watched any WCW in a VERY long time now. It’s as good of a time as any as I could go for a little pallet cleanser. Hulk Hogan has shown up and that means it’s time to put everything around him. You have to get rid of some big names at the same time, so the big main event is Hogan vs. Ric Flair in a cage, title/career vs. career. Hint hint. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a weird music video deal about Hogan vs. Flair. Just imagine what WCW would come up with in this situation and you know what you’re in for.

I do miss that Halloween Havoc logo with the two sides coming together and the light shining.

The announcers welcome us to the show and Heenan, in a neck brace, talks about great things that have come out Detroit, mainly focusing on wrestling. All of that is going to pale in comparison to the END OF HULKAMANIA right here tonight.

T. Graham Brown, the latest country singer that WCW thought people would care about, sings the National Anthem.

TV Title: Johnny B. Badd vs. Honky Tonk Man

Badd is defending and WOW I always forget that Honky Tonk was in WCW because it’s just so random and terrible. Like, this was low even for WCW. Hold on though as Badd has to launch the Badd Blasters (confetti guns) before we can get going. Honky Tonk hides in the corner to start before Badd wristlocks him down and drops a leg on the arm for a bonus. The always funny atomic drop lets Badd mess with Honky Tonk’s hair and it’s time for a breather on the floor.

We’ll use said breather to look at Sting on the WCW Hotline (if you’re a real fan, you know the number and charges by heart). Not hear him mind you, but watching him talk. Back in and Honky Tonk sends him into the buckle, followed by an elbow to the face to put Badd down. We’re in the chinlock less than three and a half minutes in, which is a really bad sign in the first match of a pay per view.

Honky Tonk chokes on the ropes and we FINALLY acknowledge one Muhammad Ali in the front row. But we have time for T. Graham Brown??? Badd gets two off a sunset flip and we hit the chinlock at five minutes of the ten minute time limit. The comeback doesn’t take long as Badd hits a pair of slams but misses an elbow, allowing us to hit the chinlock again. Badd is up again with more rights and lefts, only to get sent into the ropes with three minutes left.

Never being that smart, Honky Tonk throws him outside and drops an ax handle as time keeps going by. Back in and we hit ANOTHER chinlock as Heenan is nearly screaming at Honky Tonk to GET GOING ALREADY. Badd makes another comeback and sends him into the buckle with less than a minute to go. The Kiss That Don’t Miss misses and Honky Tonk hits a belly to back suplex (Heenan: “COVER HIM!!!!”) gets no cover. They roll around on the mat until time expires at 10:02.

Rating: F. Are you kidding me? They had a ten minute match and needed THREE CHINLOCKS to get through the thing? I know Honky Tonk Man was an awesome heel at one point but come on already. Badd’s finisher is a punch and you can’t work an armbar? This felt so far out of place and comes off like one of Hogan’s buddies getting a job and absolutely nothing more. Terrible match and now I’m supposed to want to see them fight again in a rematch? Is there any wonder why it was so easy to fire Honky Tonk Man?

Badd beats him up post match.

Video on Hogan vs. Flair, including the masked man who attacked Hogan in a recreation of the Tonya Harding incident. That was supposed to be Mr. Perfect but contractual issues kept it from happening. Also, Mr. T., the guest referee in tonight’s main event, may be in cahoots with Ric Flair.

Heenan isn’t worried because Flair can just go for the knee and he’s guaranteed to win.

Tag Team Titles: Pretty Wonderful vs. Stars And Stripes

Pretty Wonderful (Paul Orndorff/Paul Roma) are challenging against Marcus Bagwell/The Patriot. Orndorff and Patriot start things off with a lockup that goes nowhere. Heenan thinks Patriot is Al Gore as everything breaks down early on. Bagwell is left alone in the ring as Heenan thinks we have a long way to go yet. Back in and Orndorff gets caught between both champs so it’s Roma coming in and getting his arm cranked.

Roma slams Bagwell down, runs up the corner and turns around for a top rope forearm to the chest (cool). Heenan: “What a great cat burglar he’d be.” Bagwell is back up and grabs an armbar, setting up a top rope sunset flip for two. Orndorff comes in and gets taken down as well as the champs are way too fast for them to start. A few slams put Orndorff down again and a clothesline puts him outside.

Orndorff finally gets Bagwell down with a headlock and it’s Roma dropping an elbow to really put him in trouble. A little too much taunting lets Bagwell knock Roma into the corner though and it’s Patriot coming back in to work on Roma’s arm. Bagwell cranks on the arm as well but gets driven into the corner so Orndorff can get in a cheap shot from the apron. Roma’s top rope elbow to the ribs keeps Bagwell in trouble as the assortment of forearms and punches continues.

The announcers ignore the match to talk about sights of Detroit and Hogan vs. Flair because Roma slowly beating up Bagwell isn’t all that interesting. Roma goes WAY too high on a dropkick and misses Bagwell, who gets in a headscissors but Orndorff cuts him off again. At least they can do the formula stuff well enough, even if the execution isn’t the best.

A hard clothesline drops Bagwell again and Orndorff sends him face first into the mat. Bagwell blocks a suplex though and gets over for the hot…well not a tag actually as Patriot just comes in and everything breaks down. The Yellowjacket suplex (fisherman’s suplex) has Orndorff down so Roma comes in off the top with an elbow to break it up and give Orndorff the pin and the titles at 13:47.

Rating: D+. This was pretty dull at times but it was miles ahead of the opener. Patriot was one of about a million partners Bagwell had (Like last year, when he and 2 Cold Scorpio lost the titles to the Nasty Boys at Halloween Havoc 1993 in the exact same finish. WCW was not good with fresh ideas.) and it’s not like the team was all that big of a deal. Orndorff was another of Hogan’s friends but at least he was a bigger star, better in the ring and had been pushed before Hogan showed up. Not a very good match but I can go for the formula stuff most of the time.

Ric Flair, during his fairly forgettable time with Sister Sherri, promises to take care of Hogan tonight when everything is on the line. It’s to prove the greatest of all time and the price is right. What a random catchphrase but Sherri was always a bit out there. Flair: “Sayonara!”

Heenan swears Hogan is gone after tonight.

We recap Dave Sullivan vs. Kevin Sullivan. They’re brothers and Dave is kind of stupid so Kevin yells at him for wanting to be like Hulk Hogan. Dave finally stood up to him so Kevin beat him down, setting up the match. There’s just one problem: Dave is on a short list for worst wrestler of all time.

Dave Sullivan vs. Kevin Sullivan

Dave comes out to “I Want To Be A Hulkamaniac” and wears a Hogan bandanna and robe. The fans….don’t care, including those in their own Hogan gear, because this really is that bad of an idea. Dave shoulders him to the floor to start and takes off the robe to reveal a Hogan shirt and red and yellow gear. Kevin clotheslines him down as we hear about those being the same boots that Hogan wore when he beat Andre.

They head outside with Dave going into the post as Heenan talks about wanting to bash kids in the head. Back in and Dave charges into a boot in the corner, allowing Kevin to hit a running crotch attack on the ropes. Heenan: “They used to do this at dinner over who took the last chicken leg.” Kevin chokes with a Hogan bandanna so Dave fights back and does the same, setting up the big boot. That’s enough for Kevin to try and make up, allowing him to get in a cheap shot. It’s back to the floor with Kevin posting Dave….who rolls back inside and beats the count for the win at 5:15.

Rating: D-. E pluribus gads this show is becoming a nightmare. Not only was the match terrible but the whole thing was designed to be a Hogan tribute character. It wasn’t enough to have Hogan be the star of the promotion but he needed a bad wrestler to pay tribute to him every few seconds? Terrible match and an even worse idea as the awful show continues.

We recap Dustin Rhodes vs. Arn Anderson. Dustin had been dealing with the Stud Stable and needed help. For reasons of pure stupidity, Dustin asked Anderson to be his partner, more or less guaranteeing that he’d turn on Dustin in the process. Then THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HE DID, because it’s what Anderson does. It’s just his nature you see. Anyway, Dustin got his dad Dusty to help (in an awesome, underrated promo) so they could win WarGames but now it’s the showdown for revenge.

Arn Anderson vs. Dustin Rhodes

Anderson has Meng and Colonel Parker in his corner. I do miss the horribly bad but still catchy “Well They Call Him The Natural” theme for Dustin here. WCW always had bad original music and it’s kind of a guilty pleasure. A lockup sends Anderson into the corner and let’s look at a boxer at ringside. They get separated for a bit until Dustin gets in a snapmare, meaning Anderson needs to complain about a hair pull. That’s fine with Dustin, who pops him in the jaw with a right hand.

Anderson catches him on top though as this is already the best match of the show by about fourteen miles. The superplex attempt is broken up and Dustin hits a top rope clothesline for two. Anderson hits his own shot to the face and drops an elbow before starting in on the leg. It’s way too early for the Figure Four though as Dustin kicks him to the floor, where Anderson clotheslines the post by mistake.

Unlike Honky Tonk Man, Dustin is smart enough to go after the arm, which gets pulled a lot back inside. Back up and Anderson ducks a charge to send Dustin crashing hard out to the floor. Anderson does his test of strength on the mat so he can jump down onto Dustin and crotch himself spot (technical term), only to throw in a surprise by having Dustin catch him in a bodyscissors.

That just earns him a catapult into the ropes but Dustin is back up for the slugout. The double clothesline puts them both down but Dustin is up first with a regular clothesline for two. Dustin ducks his head for some reason, though he’s smart enough to grab the rope and block the DDT. It’s time to go after Arn’s arm (as he did to Dustin) but the knee drop misses, allowing Arn to grab a rollup with the ropes for two. Dustin is right back up and grabs his own rollup (without the rope) for the pin at 9:53.

Rating: C+. It says so much when this is the match of the night and it’s not even all that great. The wrestling was fine enough but the storytelling carried it as far as it went, as you could see Dustin wanting revenge and Anderson being his usual angry/evil self. I wasn’t big on the feud as a whole but what we got here was pretty good. It’s certainly better than anything else we’ve seen on this show.

Post match Anderson beats the fire out of Dustin and leaves him laying. Cue that awful song again!

Hulk Hogan talks about trying to sneak into town with Jimmy Hart and the Big Brother (as Brutus Beefcake gets ANOTHER name) but there were so many anti-Flair signs all over the place and they just couldn’t do it. This is going to be as big as the time Hogan slammed that giant.

He’s not worried about Mr. T. possibly being in Flair’s pocket because he talked to Mr. T. the other day and knows he’s still training, saying his prayers and taking his vitamins. The only thing Hogan is worried about is Flair trying to go after Mr. T. in the cage. Gene brings up all of the celebrities here and Hogan goes on a mini rant about how Flair is all that matters. The three of them have a game plan though and Flair is done tonight.

Heenan and Tony talk about the main event AGAIN. They do know we’ve already paid to see it right??? Anyway Heenan is convinced Hogan is done and all he’ll hear is a WOO.

We recap Jim Duggan beating Steve Austin for the US Title in about fifteen seconds at Fall Brawl. This was when Austin was wearing black, insulting legends and swearing a lot. I’d go with Duggan too.

US Title: Steve Austin vs. Jim Duggan

Duggan is defending. During the entrances, Tony talks about how he went to the Ford world headquarters. This sends Heenan into a hilarious rant about how boring Tony is, because he went to Tiger Stadium when there was no game and then he went to a car company where everyone was laid off. Heenan: “Maybe tomorrow we can go to the park and watch the grass grow!”

Austin jumps him before the bell and unloads in the corner (my goodness it’s weird seeing him do the stomping with hair) but Duggan fights right back. A kick to the face cuts Duggan off but he’s right back with a quickly broken sleeper. Austin kicks at the knee (Heenan: “Are you watching Mr. Hogan?”) to take over and some knees to said knee…don’t do much as Duggan kicks him into the corner.

The Flair cannonball onto the leg misses again and an atomic drop puts Austin on the floor. Back in and Austin offers a handshake but gets headlocked instead. That’s broken up as well and Austin hits a middle rope ax handle to the head. Duggan punches him out of the air on a second attempt, which at least breaks up another Hogan vs. Flair discussion.

A quick grab of the referee lets Austin get in a low blow (Heenan: “There goes that trick knee again.”) and it’s some choking in the corner to keep Duggan in trouble. There’s a middle rope elbow as the empty seats are becoming a little more prevalent. Duggan makes the comeback, with Tony hyping him up as the working class hero. The comeback is on but Austin backdrops him to the floor for the DQ at 8:03.

Rating: D+. Duggan is another one of Hogan’s friends and the US Title (especially over Austin) is WAY too high for him but he has charisma and can wrestle a basic power match well enough. It wasn’t anything good but it also wasn’t a nightmare, so we can put this on the higher end of the “new” generation.

Here’s Sting, in a tuxedo, for a chat. He’s here to sit ringside for the main event so he can have a bird’s eye view. Uh, sitting ringside is not exactly a bird’s eye view but Sting has never been the brightest guy in the world.

We recap the Guardian Angel (Big Boss Man) vs. Vader in a big man fight for the #1 contendership. They’ve fought a few times with Vader winning via DQ and then thanks to some cheating. Basically Angel has been screwed over so many times that he’s ready to snap.

Vader vs. Guardian Angel

Angel has some members of the actual Guardian Angels (a volunteer crime prevention group, who ultimately made WCW stop using the name) with him during his entrance. Vader goes over to Ali and you can probably hear WCW gasp backstage but Vader drops to a knee to pay his respect instead in a rather awesome moment. Angel beats up Vader’s manager Harley Race (he probably loved it) before the bell and then slaps Vader to get things going.

You know Vader is fine with slugging away in the corner and Angel is pounded down in a hurry. Some standing clotheslines rock Angel even worse and a big one puts him on the floor. The splash hits the barricade though and Angel punches him down. Race gets punched again as well, with Angel slamming Vader on top of him back inside. Back up and Angel punches him a few times but can’t knock him down.

Vader comes back with some fast jabs and you can see Ali pointing and smiling. Angel manages a powerslam off the ropes (Vader loved that spot) and a top rope headbutt to the ribs gets two. Back up and Angel gets sent hard into the ropes so the Vader Bomb can connect (Heenan: “Bye bye doughnut breath.”)….for two.

That doesn’t happen often so Vader goes up again, only to hit raised knees on the second attempt. A spinebuster gets two on Vader and Heenan is stunned at the kickout. The Boss Man Slam gets…no cover as Angel goes after Race instead. That earns Race a suplex back in but Vader uses the distraction to hit a splash for the quick pin at 8:20.

Rating: B. This was a rather fun fight because they did what they were supposed to do here. There was no need to do anything more than have two big guys hit each other really hard until one of them couldn’t get up. Angel looked good here, which isn’t something you could say very often after early 1991 so it was a nice surprise in a heck of a match.

Boxing legend Thomas Hearns talks about the big fight feel of the main event. I don’t think Hearns has any idea what is going on here and he’s ok with that.

We recap the Nasty Boys vs. Bunkhouse Buck/Terry Funk, which is fallout from last month’s WarGames. The Stud Stable, who lost to the Rhodes Family and the Nasty Boys, beat up the Nasty Boys after the match. Therefore, it’s revenge time.

Nasty Boys vs. Bunkhouse Buck/Terry Funk

Tom Parker and Meng are here with Buck and Funk. Sags has a Jack-o-Lantern with him and I don’t see this going well. You can add in the Nasty Boys to the list of rather awesome theme songs. The Boys jump them to start and Funk is about to fight Bunk in a funny bit. That means some long form stalling on the floor as Heenan gets to praise Funk (a combination you don’t think of very often). Funk and Knobbs start things off with the latter cleaning house early on.

That means Funk can go outside and grab a chair, which is one of those things you learn to fear. Sags comes in and sits on Funk’s face, followed by the Pit Stop for a bonus. Now Funk is all ticked off and the fans are rather pleased, with Heenan comparing that to Black Lung. Bunk comes in and they be clubberin on him (Dusty helped set this up so it’s even more appropriate) as everything breaks down again.

Funk gets sent outside, hits him self in the head with a chair a bunch of times, and goes over the barricade to yell at some fans because he’s the kind of guy you can believe would go on a rampage at any time. Bunk chokes Sags with a rope on the floor and the villains take over for the first time. Everything breaks down and Buck trips Knobbs but gets caught with a foreign object. Meng pulls out his own foreign object but hits Funk by mistake, allowing Sags to hit a piledriver onto the pumpkin for the pin at 7:57.

Rating: C. I had fun with this one and that’s all they were going for. The weird part was that it felt like they were setting up a much longer match but just went to the ending. That being said, do you really want to see the Nasty Boys go fifteen minutes against Bunkhouse Buck? Funk was the star here though as he knows how to do the little things so, so well and it’s such a treat watching him do his thing. He’s one of those guys where I get something out of every match and that’s a very rare ability.

Muhammad Ali gets in the ring for a special presentation of a donation to his foundation. WCW boss Bill Shaw gives him a check and Eric Bischoff gives him a plaque. It’s so sad to see Ali in such poor health, but you can feel how special it is to see him.

Heenan rants about how Ali and Hearns never became World Champion 11 times. He’s a bit nervous you see.

WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan is defending in a cage with both careers on the line and Mr. T. as guest referee. Sherri and Jimmy Hart are here as well and Flair is in the awesome black and white robe (always my favorite). Flair is in red trunks, which almost guarantees a big loss (one of those things that I read once and can never unnotice it). Hogan starts fast by sending him into the corner, followed by the ten right hands. He even goes up top for some choking, which is enough for T. to yell at him.

The chop has no effect and Flair is sent into the cage a few times. Flair gets smart by going after the bad knee and we cut to Sting, with the reflection of the match being seen in his sunglasses for a cool shot. Hogan gets sent into the cage and there’s a knee drop to the head. Back up and Hogan sends him into the cage three times in a row, only to have T. yell at Hogan again.

Flair uses the breather to hit a top rope ax handle as Heenan loses it even more. A chop off goes to Hogan and they wind up on the top rope with Hogan choking on the cage some more. Flair goes to the knee again and chops away….with Hogan not having any of it. Hogan rakes the face over the cage and gets two off a belly to back suplex. It’s back to the top with Flair going into the cage again but he grabs a quick shinbreaker. Heenan: “OH BABY! Are we going to school???”

Flair starts in with his usual assortment of knee work as Heenan gets more and more excited. The Figure Four goes on in the middle of the ring (Heenan: “COUNT HIS SHOULDERS D*** IT!!!”) so Hogan gets fired up (not Hulking up just yet). The hold is turned over for the break but T. gets bumped. Flair hits a belly to back suplex and pulls T. over but there’s still no count.

Jimmy pulls Sherri off the cage (getting her skirt off in the process) so she sends him into the steps. Sting pulls Sherri down as well but here’s the masked man from underneath the ring to beat Sting up with a pipe. Sherri comes off the top of the cage with an ax handle to Hogan (that was a wild woman), who doesn’t seem to mind. Flair gets in a shot to the knee and Sherri handcuffs T. to the ropes.

With the Masked Man on the side of the cage, Hogan is rammed into the pipe and suplexed again. NOW it’s time to Hulk Up and it’s a double clothesline to Flair and Sherri. Hogan clotheslines both of them again as Sting, Hart and the Masked Man are all gone. A big boot puts Sherri down (!) and Hogan does the real Hulk Up (he didn’t really need it here), setting up the big boot to Flair. Heenan: “NOT THE LEG!!!” Hogan pulls Flair over towards T., drops the leg and retains at 19:25 to send Heenan into tears.

Rating: B+. I was expecting more of the same old Hogan/Flair stuff but they hit another level at the end there and it was rocking in the last five minutes or so. Hogan was trying hard here and it was one of the best matches I’ve seen him have in years. What matters is it felt big and that’s what they were going for. I liked this WAY better than I was expecting to and that’s always a nice feeling.

Post match Ali gets to hand Hogan the title before Hogan gets back inside for the celebration. Cue the Masked Man but Hogan catches the pipe shot and hammers away. Heenan thinks it’s Arn Anderson but it’s…..the Big Brother and the fans actually go silent. Brother begs off as Hogan is shocked, allowing Kevin Sullivan and the former Earthquake (I believe making his debut) comes in to beat Hogan down. Heenan dubs Brother the Butcher as Earthquake hits the Earthquake. Cue Sting for the save to chase everyone off.

If this had been ANYONE but Beefcake, they would have been set as this was a very hot angle to end the show. The fans were into it and Hogan sold it as well as I’ve seen him sell anything not involving Andre. Having Sting under the mask would have made it one of the best angles WCW had done in the pre-Nitro days but as it was, it was just rather good, especially after a pretty awesome main event.

A bunch of replays and a chat from the announcers, with Heenan in tears, end the show.

Roll credits.

Overall Rating: D+. Vader vs. Angel, the main event and the show closing angle did a yeoman’s work to try and save this show but my goodness that first forty minutes put them in a terrible hole. It’s not a good sign when your first three matches featured one of the worst openers ever, a match whose best part was that it wasn’t the opener, and a match nearly as bad as the opener. It’s not a bad show overall, but the stuff that is bad is VERY bad and drags down the good stuff.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2014
Date: November 23, 2014
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Now this is going to be an interesting one as the whole show is built around one match and that one match’s big surprise. Last year they made no secret about the show being entirely built around one single match, which wound up making the way to make the whole thing work. That one match is Team Cena vs. Team Authority for Cena and company’s jobs vs. the Authority having power. The jobs were thrown in at the last minute to really hammer home who was going to win but that’s not always the worst thing. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel

This is the NEW AND IMPROVED Fandango, meaning he has Rosa Mendes and now wears a white shirt. We’re ready to go after the dance sequence that kills even more time. They slowly punch each other to start with Gabriel, who has skeleton tights for no apparent reason (JBL: “The leftovers from Giant Gonzalez.”), getting knocked to the floor.

Back in and Justin breaks out of a chinlock and gets two off a springboard kick to the face. For someone who flies around as much as Gabriel, the fans are almost totally silent. A suplex slam (as in a suplex where Fandango never left his feet) takes Gabriel down and the guillotine legdrop is good enough to put Justin away at 3:10.

Rating: D-. You know how Fandango still hasn’t done anything since his “rebirth” here? After this match it really surprises me that he still has a job as this was so horribly boring. Naturally they did the same match again the next night on Raw because maybe they just didn’t get the point across here. Really boring match.

Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger

The battle of the former Real Americans. On the way to the ring, Cesaro talks about the history of Swiss neutrality before picking Team Authority. He proclaims his allegiance in various languages (which is NOTHING that could ever be capitalized in around the world) until Swagger and Colter come in to pick Team Cena. Swagger gets a quick rollup for two to start, earning himself a gutwrench suplex.

The Patriot Lock has Cesaro in early trouble but he’s still able to throw Swagger down with a German suplex. More suplexes set up a chinlock. Back up and Swagger grabs a German of his own, followed by a chop block to stay on the leg. The Vader Bomb is blocked but Swagger grabs the Patriot Lock. That goes nowhere and more Germans are rolled, only to have Swagger counter into the Patriot Lock again for the submission at 5:23.

Rating: C-. They crammed a lot of suplexes into just five minutes. This also shows you how much better a match can be if you have interesting people in there. Swagger isn’t the best in the world but there’s at least a reason to care about him and more than one note to his character. I’ll take Cesaro being all serious and speaking different languages over HE’S A DANCER IN A WHITE SHIRT any day.

The opening video recaps the main event, which was set up on Vince’s whim. That’s the problem with so much of what the Authority does: whatever happens can be changed by either the two of them or Vince because they’re the ultimate powers. No matter how the story goes, someone with power can come in and change anything at the drop of a hat. Why hasn’t Vince come back and changed something else on a whim? Eh no real reason other than the plot hasn’t called for it. That’s really bad writing.

Here’s Vince to open things up with talking. Vince talks (see, I told you that’s what he was going to do) about how epic this is really going to be and brings out the Authority because we haven’t heard from them in the first five minutes. The sucking up begins immediately but Vince cuts them off to bring out Cena.

Vince recaps the main event as we’re just burning through pay per view time here. Cena asks if the Authority will leave on their own accord if they lose tonight. HHH says that Cena is going to have a bad holiday because four men’s responsibilities will be on his head after tonight. Those four men are going to be forgotten about because they’re the ones with everything to lose. Cena will keep his job because he’s such a big star, but he’ll have that on his head forever.

Stephanie suggests that someone on Team Cena will turn on him because they have to think of themselves. She says the Authority will still have their jobs at headquarters and run things from afar, but Vince says not so fast. They’ll still have desk jobs and be in charge of different departments but they’ll have no authority on screen.

One more thing: if the Authority does lose tonight, only Cena can bring them back. That’s the moment where they gave away the ending and everyone knew the Authority would be back by the end of the year at the latest. Stephanie goes into full STEPHANIE IS SHOUTING mode but Cena says the Authority will lose tonight.

So to recap the recap (which took us to fifteen minutes into the show): the Authority will still have jobs and huge salaries but they just don’t have to deal with the headaches of running the show. On top of that, Cena can bring them back because FOREVER means until Cena says otherwise. This is all stuff that could have been done on Raw but why not waste pay per view time on it. I know their line is “But it’s a free month on the Network!” That’s not an excuse to do something stupid like this as it’s a really bad way to get the show going when this could have been done in five minutes on any given TV show.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Los Matadores vs. Goldust/Stardust

Goldust and Stardust (villains here) are defending and Mizdow is one of the most popular guys on the roster because of how hard he’s been working with the stunt double character. Diego and Stardust start things off as Cole reads Stardust’s latest riddle. A quick rollup gets two on Stardust before it’s off to Miz who is stopped by OLE! Mizdow does his stunt double stuff on the floor as JBL talks about Papa Shango putting a curse on Mizdow years ago. This isn’t a rousing start to the commentary tonight.

Miz won’t tag out, again missing the point of having a stunt double. Jey comes in to chop Diego but Goldust tags himself in and chinlocks the Samoan. The fans continue to want Mizdow but Stardust waves them off and uppercuts Jey instead. This time it’s Miz tagging himself in but Fernando tags Jey and flips off the top and onto Miz.

It’s FINALLY off to Mizdow, only to have Goldust tag himself in ten seconds later to bring the crowd back to silence. Lawler brings up a great point: if Mizdow comes in and Miz is on the apron, shouldn’t Mizdow just stand there? Stardust comes in and stomps Fernando before cranking on both arms to slow things down a bit. Goldust stomps Fernando on the floor (brothers think alike) and we hit the chinlock. Things stay slow as we hear about Grumpy Cat appearing on Raw. I had been trying to forget that guys.

Stardust loads up what looks like a Tombstone but Fernando spins out into a tornado DDT (good one too) and it’s off to Jimmy. Now we pick things up a bit with the Usos cleaning house with Umaga attacks and superkicks (and a shaking camera, which has happened multiple times tonight). Goldust powerslams Jimmy down for two but the double Uso dive takes down a few people.

There’s the Falling Star from Stardust, giving us this brilliant exchange: Cole: “That’s the Falling Star!” “JBL: “I have no idea what that is!” Cole: “It’s the Falling Star!” JBL: “I know!” Torito gets thrown onto the pile and Diego does the same. Back in and a quadruple Tower of Doom takes down Los Matadores and the champs, allowing Mizdow to tag himself in and pin Goldust for the titles at 15:25.

Rating: C. This was a big longer than it needed to be but the payoff was exactly what it needed to be. There was no reason to wait any longer on giving Mizdow something and this opens the door for some new possibilities in the story. The match was fun but they could have cut out a few minutes to make it flow better. It’s fun enough though (annoying commentary aside) and a good way to open the show, after the long talking of course.

Miz takes both titles and Mizdow keeps posing.

Larry the Cable Guy is guest hosting Raw. As usual, WWE is about ten years behind the pop culture times.

Vince will be on the Steve Austin Show. Now that could be entertaining and it kind of was if I remember correctly.

Adam Rose and the Bunny do a toy commercial until Heath Slater and Titus O’Neil come in to set up a match for later. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!” Is it bad that I miss the Bunny and wanted to see more of him?

Team Paige vs. Team Team Fox

Paige, Cameron, Summer Rae, Layla

Alicia Fox, Natalya, Emma, Naomi

Natalya is accompanied by Tyson Kidd, who clearly doesn’t care in a great short run character. Paige and Natalya start things off on the mat and we hit the King’s Court reference which turns into a discussion of Lawler having a foursome. Paige is sent to the floor for a quick spank from Natalya (because of course) before it’s off to Layla vs. Emma, neither of whom are still on the main roster. Lawler: “Emma could trip over cordless phones.” That’s not very hard to do King.

It’s back to Paige for a headbutt and THIS IS MY HOUSE. How can she afford this many houses? Cameron comes in to break up a tag attempt and this could go badly. The fans want Mizdow again and good grief it’s the Daniel Bryan story all over again. You just had him for fifteen minutes when he won a title. Be happy with what you got and shut up already. Emma rolls over and tags Naomi for the big showdown that no one wanted to see. Naomi runs through Cameron and a bad looking wheelbarrow Stunner gets two.

Everything breaks down and Cameron does an awful bulldog, allowing Naomi to roll her up for the elimination at 6:12. Summer kicks Naomi down to take over, only to miss a splash. Fox comes in as the announcers ignore the match to talk about old Survivor Series teams. The heels bail so Fox tries to get a CHICKEN chant started. It’s off to Layla for her bouncy cross body but a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gives Alicia the elimination at 9:29.

Summer comes in and misses a charge, allowing Natalya to dropkick her down. It’s off to Paige who takes over, only to have Summer do Paige’s scream and get decked as a result. Emma comes in for the Dilemma, a forearm to Paige on the apron and the Emma Lock for the submission on Summer at 12:04. So Paige is all alone and starts with Emma, who quickly faceplants her down. Natalya eats a superkick so it’s off to Naomi for the Rear View and the headscissors DDT for the final pin at 14:16.

Rating: D-. Oh sweet goodness the Divas Revolution needed to happen soon. This match felt like it was going on forever with almost none of them looking like they should have been out there this long. Between “CHICKEN! CHICKEN!” and Layla’s face offense under the guise of a heel and Cameron being the disaster that only she can be, this was horrible with Paige and Natalya not being able to hold it together.

Kidd, who didn’t do a thing all match, celebrates more than anyone else in a great touch. That’s the highlight of the last fifteen minutes.

We recap the pre-show, which also included the return of Bad News Barrett. As usual, Cesaro gets left out. The best part: Renee Young with long hair. I had forgotten about that and it says a lot that she’s just as beautiful with her hair hacked off.

The panel talks for a bit.

We recap Bray Wyatt vs. Dean Ambrose, which started when Wyatt targeted Ambrose in October for whatever reason Bray picks his next target. There was something about Dean’s dad being in prison but it was never really explained. Ambrose said he didn’t care why Wyatt did it anyway so it didn’t really matter. Tonight is the first match.

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt

They slug it out to start (shocking) before heading outside (even more shocking) where Dean takes over with some clotheslines. Back in and Bray runs Dean over before knocking a dive out of the air with a right hand. I can never get used to Bray’s blood red tattoos as they always fool me. We hit a seated full nelson on Dean (always nice to see them mix up the rest holds) before he fights up for a double cross body.

They go outside for the third time for a double clothesline and both guys are down again. Back in and Dean takes over before doing Bray’s lean upside down out of the corner in a nice touch. Dean ties him in the ropes and kisses Bray on the head before a dropkick and legdrop get two. Bray counters the Rebound Lariat into a release Rock Bottom for two as this match really hasn’t taken off yet.

The middle rope backsplash misses because it would have killed Dean and the top rope elbow gets two for Ambrose. Back up and Bray EXPLODES with a clothesline and he makes it even worse with another Rock Bottom onto the steps. That’s only good for two so Bray grabs a mic and says they could have ruled the world together. Dean has chosen his path though so Bray grabs a chair and drops to his knees like he did with Cena at Wrestlemania. Dean isn’t Cena though and he hits Bray with the chair for the DQ at 14:00.

Rating: C+. Much like the Cena match at Wrestlemania, this felt a lot more like it was designed to set up something else (which it was) instead of being a big showdown. Bray’s babbling gets to the point where you stop caring what he’s talking about and that doesn’t make for the most interesting matches. No matter how you look at it, the whole thing always feels like you’re waiting on the next big thing, which gets repetitive in a hurry. It’s still a fun brawl though and got going after the first few minutes.

Post match Dean lays Bray out and elbows him through a table. That’s not enough for him as he buries Bray under another table and a pile of chairs. That’s only T and C though so why not pull out a ladder? Dean climbs the ladder but is all like “this is the free month so you have to pay to see me dive off.” Referees won’t let him shove the ladder onto the pile either.

The Authority gives their team a long pep talk, including Stephanie crying at the thought of only having a huge salary and working in an office. This is one of the problems of having such a big main event: there’s so much time to fill which certainly couldn’t have been filled with another Survivor Series match. This talk eats up WAY too much time and is summed up as “we’re betting everything we have tonight so win or else.”

Adam Rose/The Bunny vs. Heath Slater/Titus O’Neil

Slater and the Bunny get things going but Rose tags himself in quickly. Heath gets him on the mat before it’s off to Titus for some forearms to the back. Rose dives over and makes the tag. Lawler: “Maybe we should explain why there’s a bunny in the ring.” Cole: “Well it’s actually a man in a bunny suit.” Good grief just start speaking gibberish to us since they clearly think we’re that stupid. The Bunny pins Slater off a middle rope dropkick.

The Rosebuds leave with the Bunny.

More commercials. Counting the opener, the pep talk and all these commercials, there’s probably been seventeen minutes wasted, or about the same amount of time spent on a quick Survivor Series match.

The injured Roman Reigns has a satellite interview where he talks about wanting to be here punching people. We’ll make it nineteen minutes of filler. Reigns will be back in a month.

Team Cena says they’re ready.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. AJ Lee

AJ is defending and Nikki has Brie as her unwilling assistant. After the big match intros and Brie gets on the apron for a distraction, followed by kissing AJ (and launching a thousand fanfics). The Rack Attack gives us a new champion at 38 seconds in the Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus finish. Allegedly this was the way the match was going the entire time and it wasn’t cut down, making me shake my head even more.

Of course the sisters are back together with an eventual explanation of “we’re sisters.”

Ambrose vs. Wyatt is announced for TLC in the namesake match.

We recap the main event. The Authority is all corrupt so Vince came in and said let’s put their power up against Team Cena. John put together a team of the few people who would fight with him so the Authority made them as miserable as they could. It’s a simple story but they’ve made this feel like a legitimately huge match.

Team Cena vs. Team Authority

John Cena, Big Show, Ryback, Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan

Seth Rollins, Kane, Rusev, Mark Henry, Luke Harper

Cena’s partners’ jobs vs. the Authority’s authority. Harper is Intercontinental Champion and Rusev is the undefeated US Champion. The eleven entrances eat up even more time but in a good way this time. They’ve done a really good job at making this feel like a big deal and it’s working well here. Henry and Show start but HHH has to get in one last pep talk, allowing Show to knock him out for the elimination at 50 seconds.

It’s Rollins in next but Show chops him down to the floor. Kane comes in but Show drags him into the corner for the tag off to Cena, who pounds on Kane even more. Now we get a showdown that the fans find bigger than it probably is with Rowan vs. Harper. This was during that short period where Rowan was a genius, which has been completely forgotten since. Rollins tags himself back in before anything can happen and is immediately caught in the wrong corner.

Ryback comes in to join in on the fun but Rollins tags out to Harper. That’s fine with Ryback as he grabs a vertical suplex, only to get punched in the face by Kane. The big bald is beaten down as well so we’ll try Rusev. A spinebuster ends the slugout but Shell Shock is broken up. Everything breaks down and it’s a Curb Stomp from Rollins and the jumping superkick from Rusev to eliminate Ryback and tie us up.

Show comes back in but Rusev escapes a quick chokeslam attempt and brings in Harper. A dropkick of all things puts Show down and it’s back to Kane for some stomping. Kane follows Harper’s suit with a (basement) dropkick, followed by the Gator Roll (he’s stopped using that) from Harper. Show throws Harper away too so it’s off to Ziggler, who Harper beat (through some shenanigans) to win the title.

The heels start taking over on Ziggler with Kane’s sidewalk slam getting two. A comeback is stopped by a boot to the face and it’s off to Rusev for some knees to the ribs. Ziggler tries to punch Rollins in the face but gets caught in a downward spiral into the corner. We hit the chinlock for a bit before the running DDT plants Rusev. Everything breaks down again and we hit the parade of finishers (always a favorite).

Rollins is thrown onto a pile but Rusev throws Ziggler onto that pile. It’s time to load up the announcers’ table but Rusev misses Ziggler and splashes through the table instead, leading to a countout at 21:02 to make it 4-3. Cole: “COUNTOUTS ARE A FACTOR! COUNTOUTS ARE A FACTOR! COME ON DOLPH! COME ON DOLPH! ZIGGLER’S IN! ZIGGLER’S IN! RUSEV IS OUT! RUSEV IS OUT!” Get the parrot a cracker and shut him up already.

Back in and the exhausted Ziggler tags Cena for a quick AA to Kane. Rollins makes the save with a Curb Stomp and everyone is down. A double tag brings in Harper and Rowan with Erick cleaning house. Kane’s chokeslam is broken up but the springboard knee from Rollins sets up Harper’s discus lariat to put Rowan out at 24:14. So it’s Show/Cena/Ziggler vs. Rollins/Kane/Harper and we get a big six man staredown….until Show KO’s Cena, turning heel again to fill his quota for the year. Rollins steals the pin to eliminate Cena at 25:11. Now THAT is a shock.

Show stares down at the Authority and then walks out at 26:30, leaving Ziggler down 3-1. Ziggler can barely stand after the long beating he took but it’s now the Shawn formula in 2005. The fans want Orton (who was put out by Rollins a few weeks ago but why have the hometown boy here to make the save when you can have him on a movie set instead? To make it worse, Stephanie chants “OH YEAH! OH YEAH! OH YEAH!” in what was supposed to be cheerleading.

Kane throws Ziggler into the barricade and Rollins drags him over to the corner for some tags to the eliminated partners. Kane’s superplex is broken up though and a quick superkick and Zig Zag make it 2-1 at 29:35. Harper is right in though and kicks Ziggler’s head off to send him outside, followed by a nice suicide shove. A great sounding superkick gets two on Ziggler and the sitout powerbomb amazingly only gets the same. Ziggler somehow grabs a rollup (and jeans) for a fast elimination at 31:35, leaving us one on one.

Dolph can barely stand but he still grabs a DDT for two. Rollins has way more gas though and hammers Ziggler down, only to miss a top rope knee. The Fameasser gets two out of nowhere as HHH and Stephanie are losing their minds on the outside. Noble and Mercury are dispatched and the Zig Zag connects but HHH pulls the referee out at two.

The J’s are dispatched again and Stephanie is knocked off the apron (onto HHH of course because Heaven forbid she not have a soft landing). Another Curb Stomp misses and there’s a second Zig Zag for two with HHH breaking up the pin one more time. HHH beats on Ziggler for a bit and hits a Pedigree…..and there’s a crow.

In one of the biggest surprises of all time, STING makes his WWE debut (with JBL listing off his resume to make sure you know this was planned in advance) and HHH is in shock. Sting decks HHH’s crooked referee and does the big staredown with HHH, setting up the Death Drop (sold really well too). Sting pulls Ziggler on top of Rollins (who hasn’t moved in over six minutes) for the final pin at 44:07.

Rating: A. I liked this even better knowing what was coming. They did a really good job of setting up the story here as both teams were in enough trouble at different points to keep it interesting with the Cena elimination being the biggest of them all. I was genuinely surprised when that happened and it holds up well enough as a moment today. The near falls near the end were great as well, making this a really great match. This should have been a total star making performance for Ziggler but since WWE is in charge, it was pretty much forgotten in about a month.

HHH looks like reality sets in while Stephanie shows her horrible acting skills one more time. For once I’m fine with the focus being on them but good grief that screeching is killing it. On top of that, everyone knew they would be back sooner than later and it didn’t even last a month.

Overall Rating: B-. This is the definition of a one match show and thankfully that one match delivered because the rest of this show was pretty horrible. Everything from the end of Ambrose vs. Wyatt to the start of the main event was a waste of time or boring, as was so often the case in WWE at this point. The main event bails the show out, but that’s the ONLY thing worth watching on here.

Ratings Comparison

Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel

Original: D

2015 Redo: D-

Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger

Original: C-

2015 Redo: C-

Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Goldust/Stardust vs. Los Matadores

Original: C+

2015 Redo: C

Team Paige vs. Team Fox

Original: D-

2015 Redo: D-

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt

Original: B-

2015 Redo: C+

Slater Gator vs. Adam Rose/The Bunny

Original: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella

Original: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Team Cena vs. Team Authority

Original: B+

2015 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C

2015 Redo: B-

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/11/23/survivor-series-2014-i-believe-it/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2014
Date: November 23, 2014
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re finally to one of the biggest one match shows I can ever remember. THey aren’t even trying to hide the fact that this is all about the main event this year and it’s taken a lot to get through the rest of the card as a result. Obviously this is about Team Cena vs. the Authority with the future of both groups on the line. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel

Fandango is new and improved, meaning he now has Rosa in his corner, comes out to what sounds like Spanish music and wrestles in an open chest sweater. Gabriel gets knocked out to the floor as the announcers talk about his skeleton themed pants. Justin comes back with a kick to the face for two but Fandango takes his head off with a clothesline. A release suplex sets up Fandango’s top rope legdrop for the pin at 3:26.

Rating: D. As usual, Rosa was the most entertaining thing out there. This was the same Fandango we’ve seen for nearly two years now and he’s somehow less interesting than he was before. The sweater doesn’t make me care about him any more and he’s just as generic in the ring as he was before he left. Not much to see here.

Bad News Barrett comes out for the first time in months. His topic of course is the main event and he has some bad news for Cena: if the Authority wins, Cena’s life is going to be a nightmare. On the other hand, if the Authority loses, the WWE will never be lost in the era of Bad News Barrett. This was actually something close to a face promo.

Pre-Show: Jack Swagger vs. Cesaro

This is an added match. Cesaro comes out to talk about being neutral like Switzerland when Zeb and Swagger come out to say if Cesaro is on Team Authority, he and Jack are on Team Cena. Swagger grabs him by the ribs to start but Cesaro grabs a suplex to take over. A double stomp is countered into the Patriot Lock though and Cesaro is in early trouble. He kicks Swagger out to the floor though before Swagger charges back in and goes shoulder first into the post.

A German suplex puts Swagger down again and another suplex gets two. Cesaro drops a middle rope elbow for the same and we hit the chinlock. Swagger quickly fights up and loads the Vader Bomb but has to stop and grab the Patriot Lock instead. They’re too close to the ropes though and Cesaro starts rolling Germans. Swagger rolls through again and puts on the third Patriot Lock for the submission at 5:23.

Rating: C-. The match was better than Fandango’s as I have a reason to care about these guys but it was still nothing great. We’ve seen these guys fight so many times now that it’s hard to get interested in yet another match. It’s nice to see Swagger win, but this is another match that could have been on the main show to flesh out the card a bit.

The opening video was all about the main event which I’m sure you’ve heard by now. Literally, nothing else was even mentioned. There’s usually some history if nothing else.

Here’s Vince to open the show. He does his usual enthusiastic welcome and brings out the Authority for a chat. HHH talks about how Vince is the reason we’re here and the Authority starts a Vince chant. The boss cuts them off and asks Vince to come out here. Vince says that tonight, Cena is in charge of four men’s lives. HHH takes over and says that when Team Cena loses tonight, four men are going to be out of work and quickly forgotten.

Stephanie says that if their team loses, they’ll still be running the show, just not from Raw. “Right Dad?” Vince: “Not exactly.” Apparently if HHH and Stephanie lose tonight, they have no authority over any WWE Superstar. Actually, there’s only one man that could ever bring them back to power.

Stephanie immediately starts sucking up to her dad but Vince says the decision will lie with Cena. Stephanie goes into her I’M A MCMAHON speech but Cena cuts her off and says she’s gone tonight. Cena grabs the mic and says that after they’re gone, just like the song says, there is NO CHANCE that he’ll bring them back.

Tag Team Titles: Los Matadores vs. Goldust/Stardust vs. Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow

The opening bell is over 22 minutes into the show. Goldust and Stardust are defending with one fall to a finish. Diego cranks on Stardust’s arm to start before it’s quickly off to Miz vs. Fernando. Mizdow is doing the exact same things on the floor as he’s known to do. Miz gets slammed off the top, so Mizdow goes up top and flips himself off for good measure. The fans want Mizdow to come in but Miz isn’t quite ready for the tag yet.

Instead it’s off to Jimmy for some armdrags on Fernando before it’s quickly off to Jey for some chops. Stardust low bridges Jey to the floor and the champs take over in the corner. The fans still want Mizdow but get the drop down uppercut from Stardust instead. Jey tries a sunset flip but Miz tags himself in to take over. Jey falls into the corner for a tag to Diego as this is almost impossible to keep up with. The Backstabber gets two on Miz but he comes right back with a clothesline to Diego.

Miz takes him into the corner and still won’t tag Damien. The running clothesline in the corner is finally enough to make him tag Mizdow but Goldust tags himself in before Damien can do anything. Diego and Goldust trade rollups until Diego is sent into the corner for some double teaming by the champions. Stardust comes in to crank on the arms before scoring with a clothesline. He tells the fans they want him instead of Mizdow before he sends Diego out to the floor.

Goldust scores with a clothesline on the floor before throwing him back inside for a chinlock. Stardust goes up for a sunset flip on Goldust who is holding Diego in a German suplex for a big catapult spot. Diego sends him to the apron but Stardust shoves Fernando into the post. Back in and Diego counters what looked to be a tombstone attempt into a spinning DDT to drop Stardust.

It’s off to Jimmy vs. Goldust with the Samoan taking over before tagging in Jey for the running Umaga attack in the corner. A bunch of superkicks drop Stardust but Diego breaks up the double dive. Goldust powerslam Jimmy for two but Jey nails him with an enziguri. Now the Usos hit the double dive but Stardust hits the Falling Star onto both of them.

Fernando launches Torito onto everyone before Diego dives onto everyone plus the bull. Goldust breaks up Fernando’s dive as Diego gets back in. All four go up for a big Tower of Doom with Fernando taking the worst of it. Jimmy comes in with the Superfly Splash but Miz sends Jimmy into the post. Mizdow tags himself in and pins Fernando for the pin and the titles at 15:25.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining and the absolutely right call, but they needed to cut some time out of this. This was the kind of match where it was clear that they were just trying to fill in time and those things get old in a hurry. It took awhile to get going but it was solid once it sped up. Mizdow getting the pin is the perfect ending too.

Miz celebrates with both belts.

Vince McMahon and Steve Austin will be doing a live Steve Austin Show next Monday after Raw.

Adam Rose and the Bunny are in the back with the Exotic Express. They’re going to settle their differences by playing with the latest WWE toys. Rose reminds the Bunny where he was before Rose found him. The Bunny wins in about five seconds so Titus O’Neil and Heath Slater come in to laugh at Rose. Adam says the Bunny worships him and a tag match is made for later. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!”

Paige/Cameron/Summer Rae/Layla vs. Emma/Natalya/Alicia Fox/Naomi

Elimination tag. Natalya and Paige get things going and we already have a Nattie’s Husband chant. Paige is quickly sent to the floor as we get the required Cheesy/Sleazy/Queasy reference. Lawler even gets the year wrong. Paige sends Natalya into the corner so it’s off to Layla vs. Emma. They trade rollups with Emma being rather clumsy, allowing Layla to roll her up for two.

Emma gets caught in the heel corner and stomped by Paige a bit. Paige spends a lot of time trash talking though and takes a HARD forearm to the head. They head to the top with Emma hitting a nice superplex but Paige is right next to the corner for a tag to Cameron. The screeching begins and Cameron can barely slap Emma right. The fans want Mizdow again as Emma gets two off a backslide.

Naomi tags herself in and kicks Cameron across the ring. A cross body gets no cover but a Stunner of all things gets two on Cameron. Everything breaks down and everyone nails everyone else until Cameron hits a horrible bulldog on Natalya, only to have Naomi hook a nice bridging rollup to eliminate Cameron. Summer comes in but runs from a kick to the face. Naomi kicks her anyway but gets pulled down by the hair. Back up and Summer knocks all of her opponents off the apron, only to have Fox come in and run her over a few times.

Fox cross bodies Paige and loads up a dive to the floor but all of her opponents back up. Summer gets in, gets screamed at, and tags out to Layla. The Brit (Layla) laughs at Fox for climbing down a second ago and gets smacked in the face. A northern lights suplex gets two on Layla but she comes back with her bouncing cross body.

Fox nails a quick backbreaker and it’s 4-2. Paige comes in for some cheap shots but it’s quickly off to Natalya vs. Summer. Natalya runs her over with a discus lariat and a low dropkick but Paige trips her up from the floor. Summer gets in some cheap shots on the apron but stops to mock Paige, only to have Paige knock her off the apron.

It’s off to Emma vs. Summer with Emma hooking the Dilemma (Tarantula) for a few seconds. The Emma Sandwich (cross body in the corner) sets up the Emma Lock (bridging Indian Deathlock) to make Summer tap. It’s Paige vs. all four opponents and the fans are completely in her corner. Paige tries to leave but Emma catches her like she stole something. That’s not cool with Paige who runs Emma over but it’s quickly off to Natalya, who promptly eats a boot to the face. Naomi comes in with the Rear View and a headscissors faceplant to FINALLY end this at 14:16.

Rating: D-. This was terrible as they were clearly just filling time and had almost no business being on a show this big. The girls were mostly sloppy with Cameron being as close to a disaster as you can get. They would have been much better off just having Naomi vs. Paige but why do that when you can get eight Divas out there to ruin a match?

We recap Fandango’s return and Bad News Barrett’s speech from the pre-show.

The expert panel of Booker T., Paul Heyman and Alex Riley talk about the new stipulations for the main event.

We recap Ambrose vs. Wyatt. Bray Wyatt cost Ambrose his match inside the Cell and started talking about Dean’s childhood where he was abandoned by his father and forced to live a hard life. Dean basically said he wanted to hurt Wyatt and that’s about it.

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt

Dean drives him into the corner to start and hammers away with right hands and kicks to the gut. Wyatt comes back with a right hand of his own and they head outside with Dean hitting a nice running forearm off the apron. Back in and Bray takes him down with the running cross body for two as things slow down a bit. They head outside again with Dean going up, only to dive into a right hand to put him down again. Bray stomps Dean’s hands on the steps before taking him back inside for two.

We hit a full nelson on the mat but Dean bites the fingers to escape. That’s fine with Bray who just runs Ambrose over again. They head outside yet again for a double clothesline before slowly crawling back inside. Dean hammers away with forearms to the head and some running elbows before doing Bray’s upside down pose in the corner. Dirty Deeds is broken up but Dean has to counter Sister Abigail into a rollup for two.

With Bray’s feet on the ropes, Dean ties the arms into the ropes for a running dropkick, followed by a legdrop to the back of the head for two. Back up and a big slam gets two for Bray but he misses a middle rope backsplash. Ambrose goes up top and connects with a top rope elbow, even though Bray was standing up. That’s a new one.

Bray gets up and knocks Dean’s head off with a clothesline, sending Ambrose out to the floor. The release Rock Bottom puts Dean onto the steps but Ambrose somehow kicks out. Bray heads back outside and grabs the mic. He asks Dean why he’s doing this and shouts that it didn’t have to be like this.

They could have ruled the world together and there’s nothing anyone back there could do to touch them. Ambrose has chosen his path and there’s a microphone shot to the head. Bray finds some chairs under the ring but Dean takes one away. Wyatt drops to his knees like he did to Cena at Wrestlemania and Dean nails him in the ribs for the DQ at 14:00.

Rating: B-. This took its time to get going but turned into a violent brawl after awhile. They’re clearly setting up something else for this feud and I’m glad they didn’t give it a clean ending here. Ambrose is much more of a monster than Cena was going to be so the ending makes sense here. These two in a wild brawl could work really well.

Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds onto the chair and loads Bray on a table. A top rope elbow puts both guys through the wood but Dean isn’t done. He puts another table on top of Bray and covers it up with chairs. With Wyatt not moving, Ambrose pulls out a ladder. He climbs on top of it….and stands there as his music plays. Dean climbs down and teases shoving the ladder onto Bray but referees stop him.

HHH and Stephanie give Team Authority a long pep talk. The gist of it is if they lose, the team’s lives will be destroyed.

Slater Gator vs. Adam Rose/The Bunny

The Bunny starts but Rose tags in before anything happens. Slater kicks Adam’s head off to start before it’s off to Titus for some throws into the corner. Adam dives over for the tag to the Bunny as the announcers make rabbit jokes. With Adam demanding a tag, the Bunny hits a middle rope dropkick for the pin on Slater at 2:25.

Roman Reigns is here via satellite and says he’s getting better every single day. He’d rather be here with us and asks the fans if they want to know what he’d do if here were there. Reigns would cock back his fist and make it reign in the arena. JBL says Reigns isn’t here but Seth Rollins is here in the main event. How would Reigns feel if Team Authority won. Reigns calls that a stupid question as he threw a cinder block at Seth’s head. It doesn’t matter what happens tonight because in a month, either team might be out, but he’ll be back at that time.

Team Cena is in the back and they all know what they signed up for. Well we’re assuming Rowan does as he’s playing with a Rubik’s Cube. Cena says there’s one thing left to do when Rowan stands up and says win.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella

AJ is defending and Nikki has her sister Brie as an assistant. We get big match intros and Brie gets up on the apron with with title in her hand. She kisses AJ, allowing Nikki to get in a cheap shot and the Rack Attack gives us a new champ at 38 seconds in the Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan ending from Wrestlemania XXVIII.

Indeed, the Bellas are back together.

We recap Ambrose vs. Wyatt, who will be in a TLC match three weeks from tonight.

Long recap of the main event. I’m assuming you get the idea by this point.

Team Cena vs. Team Authority

John Cena, Ryback, Erick Rowan, Big Show, Dolph Ziggler

Seth Rollins, Kane, Luke Harper, Rusev, Mark Henry

Rusev is US Champion and Harper is Intercontinental Champion. The Authority and Stooges are at ringside of course. Henry and Big Show get things going with Mark shouting that he’s going to hurt everyone. HHH and Stephanie stay on the apron for support but Henry charges right into the KO Punch to make it 5-4 in less than a minute. Harper drops to the floor and tries to sneak up on Show but it’s a decoy for Rollins to come in from behind. HHH is dejected and sitting in a chair with his tie off.

Rollins has exactly as much luck against Show as you would expect and it’s off to Kane. Show sends him into the corner and it’s Cena in to hammer away. A dropkick puts Kane down so he tags in Harper, who gets to face Rowan. The fans are behind Erick but we’re not quite ready yet as Seth tags himself in. That’s fine with Rowan who hammers away in the corner and crushes him with a splash. A slam plants Rollins and it’s off to Ryback for a back drop.

Harper comes in and takes a delayed vertical suplex so it’s quickly off to Kane. Ryback Thesz presses him down and gets two off a splash. We get a showdown between Ryback and Rusev with the champ quickly getting slammed down. There’s the Meat Hook but Rusev escapes the Shell Shock and sends Ryback into a boot from Kane. Everything breaks down and it’s a huge brawl with Rollins hitting the Curb Stomp on Ryback. The running superkick from Rusev is enough to eliminate Ryback and tie things up.

Things settle down and it’s Rusev vs. Big Show, because this has gone so well for the giant recently. It’s quickly off to Harper who gets thrown around the corner, only to come back with a dropkick to put Show down. Rollins comes in for some cheap shots before it’s off to Kane for a bunch of stomps. Back to Harper for the Gator Roll before we hit the chinlock. Show fights up and makes the tag to Ziggler as things speed up. Dolph nails Rollins off the apron but charges into the sitout Boss Man Slam for two.

The Authority takes over on Ziggler with Rusev throwing him down for two. Off to Kane for the side slam and big boot for two each. Rusev comes in again to talk Russian trash but Dolph comes back with right hands to the head. Rollins takes him back down again and the slow destruction continues. A release Downward Spiral into the corner gets two on Dolph and we hit the chinlock.

Back to Rusev who runs into the DDT for two but Harper makes the save. Cena comes in with an AA to Harper but Kane chokeslams him. Show chokeslams Kane but Rollins takes him down with the springboard knee. Rowan backdrops Seth onto everyone else but Rusev nails him with a spinwheel kick. Ziggler’s Fameasser to Rusev is countered and Rusev throws him onto about six people at ringside. Rusev loads up the announcers’ table and sets Ziggler for a splash but Dolph moves, sending Rusev crashing through the wood. Only Ziggler beats the count and we’re down to 4-3. That’s one of the only ways to get rid of Rusev.

Back in and Cena gets the hot tag to go after Kane with the usual. The AA connects but Rollins nails a quick Curb Stomp. The referee is totally fine with all of this as Cole is losing his mind. The double tag brings in Harper and Rowan for the showdown we’ve been waiting to see for DAYS. Rowan cleans house and nails a spin kick on Harper but everything breaks down again. Rollins comes in for another Curb Stomp to Rowan, setting up the discus lariat from Harper to tie things up.

We’re down to Show/Cena/Ziggler vs. Kane/Rollins/Harper. We get the showdown and Show turns heel by knocking out Cena….FOR A PIN??? Cena is out and we’re down to 3-2. Show shakes HHH’s hand and walks out, effectively making it 3-1. The fans want Orton as Cena wakes up and realizes what’s going on. Stephanie shouts “OH YEAH OH YEAH OH YEAH” and fails at having any sort of rhythm.

Ziggler gets thrown into the barricade by Kane for two back inside. Off to Harper as Cena has left like he’s supposed to. Rollins comes in a few seconds later and takes Ziggler to the corner, telling him to tag his partners. Back to Kane as the domination continues. Kane loads up a superplex but gets shoved down and cross bodied for two. The superkick and Zig Zag take out Kane and it’s 2-1.

Harper comes in and kicks Dolph’s head off, knocking him out to the floor. A big suicide dive takes Dolph out again as Cole is cheering for Ziggler more than he ever did for Miz. Harper brings Dolph back inside for a superkick but Dolph kicks out again. A Batista Bomb gets the same and Harper is getting frustrated. Dolph grabs a rollup out of nowhere (and a handful of jeans) to tie things up. That probably gets him a rematch for the title at TLC as well.

It’s Rollins vs. Ziggler and Seth comes in to stomp away. He throws Dolph to the floor and into the barricade as Ziggler is on fumes. Back in and Ziggler grabs a small package for two and a quick DDT gets the same. The fans are WAY into these near falls. HHH is losing his mind at ringside as Rollins just lays in right hands to the head. Seth goes up but Ziggler runs the corner, only to get shoved down. A super Curb Stomp misses and the Fameasser gets an even closer two.

The Zig Zag is countered but the Stooges offer a distraction. The second attempt connects on Rollins but HHH takes the referee out. Now the Stooges come in for the beatdown but they screw up as only Stooges can. Ziggler throws Mercury into Stephanie, knocking her into her husband. The Buckle Bomb is countered and the Zig Zag connects. A second referee comes in for the count but HHH breaks it up AGAIN.

He hammers on Dolph and nails a huge clothesline before planing Ziggler with a Pedigree. Rollins is laid on top as referee #3 (crooked Scott Armstrong) comes out……BUT WE HAVE STING! He slowly walks out and nails Armstrong before staring down HHH. The fans find this awesome as they circle each other very slowly. HHH swings but Sting lays him out with the Death Drop. Ziggler and Rollins (who hasn’t moved an inch for about eight minutes after a single Zig Zag) are still down but Sting throws Ziggler on top of him for the pin at 42:08.

Rating: B+. Sting just debuted. You think ANY of the rest of this matters?

Ok for the sake of covering it: the match wasn’t great but they had me freaking out at the end with those near falls and then the crow sounding to have Sting come out. Above all but one thing (which should be obvious), this was about Ziggler instead of Cena, who wasn’t out there for the last fifteen minutes or so. This is the biggest rub Ziggler has ever had and the question now is where he goes with it. That’s a great way to end a show and one heck of a rub.

Cena comes out to hug Ziggler and help him to the back. The fans sing the Goodbye Song to the Authority as Stephanie shouts that THIS IS NOT OVER as the show ends.

Overall Rating: C. That main event and the surprise bring this WAY up as this was looking to be one of the worst shows in a long time until the main event. It’s the definition of a one match show (mostly at least) but just like many a Royal Rumble before it, that one match dragged the show up. It’s a rare thing that I can feel my heart beating at the end of a match but that’s exactly what happened during that last sequence. Awesome ending to a bad show.

Results

Miz/Damien Mizdow b. Usos, Los Matadores and Goldust/Stardust – Mizdow pinned Fernando after a Superfly Splash from Jimmy

Naomi/Natalya/Alicia Fox/Emma b. Cameron/Layla/Summer Rae/Paige – Headscissors faceplant to Paige

Bray Wyatt b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Ambrose used a chair

Adam Rose/The Bunny b. Slater Gator – Middle rope dropkick to Slater

Nikki Bella b. AJ Lee – Rack Attack

Team Cena b. Team Authority – Zig Zag to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXXI
Date: March 29, 2015
Location: Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara, California
Attendance: 76,976
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is an interesting show as most people really weren’t looking forward to it. The card isn’t that bad on paper but the interest is still low. Reigns vs. Lesnar isn’t the most exciting main event and the idea of HHH vs. Sting as a regular match is borderline terrifying. The show has surprised me before though so let’s get to it.

The set is HUGE this year with a very wide stage and a big circle for the Titantron looking like a play button on the WWE Network. It’s another open air stadium and since it’s on the west coast, the sun is shining very brightly for a unique look.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. New Day

One fall to a finish. Kidd and Cesaro, with Kidd’s wife Natalya, are defending and it’s Kofi Kingston/Big E. (minus the Langston) for New Day with Xavier Woods in their corner. The Usos (in San Francisco 49ers colors) have Jimmy’s wife Naomi and Los Matadores still have El Torito. Cesaro and Kofi start fighting with Kingston scoring a quick dropkick but Diego tags himself in.

A ticked off Cesaro pulls Jey off the apron and whips him into the barricade, re-aggravating a shoulder injury and taking Jey out. Kofi monkey flips Diego for two and gets punched in the face as Jey is being taken to the back. Back to Cesaro for a chinlock before the Swing sends Kofi into Kidd’s dropkick. Kofi gets kicked into the corner so Jimmy can tag himself in for a superkick to Cesaro.

Kidd, Fernando, Big E. and Cesaro are all down in a corner and Jimmy nails the running Umaga hip attack to each one of them. Kofi dives onto Diego as any semblance of the tagging has been abandoned. Kidd springboards into a superkick from Jimmy, who charges into an uppercut from Cesaro. Big E. comes in and launches Kofi into a double knee to Cesaro’s chest for two.

Cesaro’s apron superplex takes Big E. down and Los Matadores add a powerbomb/Backstabber combo to Kofi with Kidd breaking up the pin. Kofi goes after Kidd on the floor but has to catch Torito, allowing Natalya to put the bull in a Sharpshooter to continue a stupid mini feud. Jimmy and Naomi dive onto Kidd, Kofi and Fernando. Back in and the Midnight Hour (Big Ending from Big E. (a powerslam drop) and a middle rope DDT from Kofi) plants Diego with Jimmy and Cesaro making stereo saves.

Fernando switches with Diego for a rollup on Big E. but the referee says he’s not legal. If that’s true, I want to buy that referee a ham sandwich. Big E. picks up Diego and Kidd at the same time but Jimmy breaks it up with a superkick. Kidd eats Trouble in Paradise but Cesaro uppercuts Kofi on top. Los Matadores go up top for a double superplex but Cesaro and Big E. make it a double Tower of Doom. JBL: “OH THE HUMANITY!” Jimmy adds a Superfly splash to Big E. but Cesaro steals the pin at retain at 9:58.

Rating: B. Total and complete insanity here (described as a car wreck by the commentators) which was all it needed to be. They didn’t go with a copy of last year’s match, even though a lot of the participants were the same. Kidd and Cesaro were really clicking as a team and the division as a whole was looking up until Kidd’s injury in June.

Pre-Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Adam Rose, Alex Riley, Big E., Big Show, Bo Dallas, Cesaro, Curtis Axel, Damien Mizdow, Darren Young, Diego, Erick Rowan, Fandango, Fernando, Goldust, Heath Slater, Hideo Itami, Jack Swagger, Jimmy Uso, Kane, Kofi Kingston, Konnor, Mark Henry, Ryback, Sin Cara, The Miz, Titus O’Neil, Tyson Kidd, Viktor, Xavier Woods, Zack Ryder

Rose loves to party, Riley is back from injury, Axel is dressed like Hulk Hogan in a gimmick called Axelmania after he was never officially eliminated from the 2015 Royal Rumble, Dallas is a self-obsessed motivational speaker, Mizdow is Sandow copying the Miz as his stunt double (and becoming incredibly popular due to how hard he’s worked at the character), Itami is an NXT guy who won a tournament for this spot and Konnor and Viktor are a power team called the Ascension. The seven people from the opening match are surprise additions to this.

Axel breaks up the brawling to start so he can rip off his shirt, earning himself an elimination from the masses. Everyone keeps fighting until Rose and Fandango eliminate each other. Miz and Mizdow double team Riley and get rid of him with Miz taking the credit. Dallas eliminates Ryder, takes a victory lap, and then gets kicked out by Itami. The fans are way into him so here’s Big Show to eliminate Itami before anyone gets too excited.

Kane gets rid of Los Matadores at the same time and Cesaro does the same to Rose. Henry throws out Kidd but the ring is still WAY too full. Ascension gets rid of Henry and knocks Show down in a stupid move. Ryback dumps Ascension for their brilliance, followed by Young and Slater a few seconds after. Titus goes out too and it’s all Ryback, so Big Show is RIGHT THERE to cut him off.

Show clotheslines Swagger out and takes out all three members of New Day from the apron. You WILL respect Big Show and his amazing strength whether you like it or not. We’re down to Show, Rowan, Uso, Ryback, Cesaro, Goldust, Miz, Mizdow and Kane. The fans are behind Mizdow as Show dumps Rowan.

Ryback gets rid of Goldust but Kane saves Big Show for no logical reason. Miz and Mizdow take a double chokeslam from Kane, who is quickly slammed out by Cesaro. Show dumps Jimmy but gets picked up by Cesaro again, only to escape and dump Cesaro with ease. Ryback grabs a spinebuster on Show and is eliminated for trying to get any momentum.

It’s Miz, Mizdow and Show for the final three but Mizdow FINALLY stands up to Miz and tells him to go do it himself. Miz gets annoyed and yells at him for about a minute as Show just stands back and watch. Mizdow snaps and eliminates Miz and gets to fight Big Show on his own. Some clotheslines have the giant in trouble and Mizdow low bridges him halfway out. Show gets back up and shrugs off a front facelock before easily eliminating Mizdow at 18:08.

Rating: D. So yeah, all hail Big Show, may his name forever be praised, because he’s big and strong and bald and was here back in 1999 so we must give him a win. On top of that, they were trying to push the idea that Big Show had never won a battle royal, ignoring the one he won on Smackdown in 2014 and the one he won on Raw in 2006.

Instead of using this to make Mizdow into someone important, they went with Big Show because he just hasn’t won anything important in a long time. This was it for Mizdow as he would lose the big showdown with Miz less than a month later and pretty much disappear. Big Show on the other hand would do exactly the same thing he’s done for about the last ten years: be treated like a monster and then lose to someone new. Except here of course because Mizdow winning would have been stupid.

Aloe Blacc sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is hosted by LL Cool J and talks about how entertainment has evolved with everyone being connected. The one thing that has stayed the same though is us as we’ve watched moment after moment in the history of Wrestlemania. That generation at the beginning created what we see today and connects us all together. Tonight, these men and women will take the biggest stage and connect us all. This is Wrestlemania. Cool stuff here and it worked very well.

Intercontinental Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Stardust vs. Luke Harper vs. R-Truth vs. Dean Ambrose

Ladder match and Barrett is defending after issuing a challenge for a bunch of people to fight him. Stardust is Cody Rhodes as an even freakier version of Goldust. Truth is scared of heights and is going to have some issues in this one. It’s a huge brawl to start and Ambrose takes Harper down with a suicide dive. Stardust jumps off the middle rope and lands on a bunch of people (the Falling Star), leaving Harper to dive on everyone but Ambrose.

Dean climbs a ladder and dives on the other six to put all seven of them down. Truth is the first one back in but he can’t bring himself to climb. It’s Barrett with the save but Bryan dropkicks a ladder into him before whipping Stardust into the ladder to crush Barrett even more. The momentum is stopped as Harper throws the ladder at Bryan but he’s able to tie Harper upside down in the ladder for the YES Kicks.

That earns Bryan a superkick from Ziggler and it’s Dean and Dolph going for a climb. Barrett joins them but Stardust takes out the ladder to put everyone down. The fans chant CODY to freak Stardust out so he throws a ladder at Harper. Stardust goes outside and pulls out his own ladder called the, and I quote, Exo-Atmospheric Starbird. In other words, it’s a ladder covered in glitter.

Barrett will have none of that and breaks a rung off to give Stardust a beating. Dean throws the glitter ladder at Barrett and the glitter falls all over the ring. Now it’s time to bring in two small ladders so Harper and Ambrose can have a duel, capped off by a boot to Dean’s face. Harper lays a smaller ladder on the top rope and rams Dean into it face first. The ladder around Luke’s head takes some people out but Truth drop toeholds Harper down, sending him into the ladder.

Truth sets up the big ladder but Stardust goes for the climb, only to get superplexed back down by Barrett. Bryan, Ziggler and Ambrose go up top until Dean drops down and shoves the ladder over. Dean goes up until Harper powerbombs him off the ladder and through a ladder bridged between the barricade and ring. Ziggler tries a sleeper on Harper as he climbs, followed by the Zig Zag to bring them crashing down.

Somehow Dolph is able to climb up, only to have Barrett pull him down into the Bull Hammer. Another one knocks Truth off but Bryan makes a quick climb and kicks Barrett down. Barrett is right back up though and makes a save, followed by a quick running knee from Bryan, allowing him to climb up, headbutt Ziggler off and win the title at 13:55.

Rating: B. Giving Bryan a title (the fifth different one he’s fought for in five years) is a good idea as it lets the fans get it out of their system with a feel good moment. If he hadn’t won here, the fans would have probably hijacked the show with their DANIEL BRYAN chants because if Bryan isn’t the featured attraction, there’s no way they can possibly enjoy the show. Some fans. Anyway, this was exactly what the match should have been: Money in the Bank but for a title. Unfortunately Bryan would get hurt again and be out of action in less than a month, putting him on the shelf indefinitely.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton. Rollins broke up the Shield last year and became the Authority’s young ace, which ticked Orton off. This led to a feud with Rollins putting Orton on the shelf (meaning onto a movie set) with a Curb Stomp onto some steps. Then Orton returned and rejoined the Authority for a few weeks, only to turn on them again and attack Rollins to set this up. After all that stupid, they went with a simpler idea: Orton as the original future of the WWE vs. Rollins as the new future.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Rollins is Mr. Money in the Bank and has Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble as his personal stooges. Seth starts by flipping away from Orton, only to eat a dropkick and bail to the floor from the threat of an RKO. Back in and a big clothesline looks to set up the RKO again but the Stooges offer a distraction to break it up. Orton deals with them early off a double elevated DDT from the apron.

The distraction lets Seth get in his first offense though and Orton is in trouble. A snap suplex gets two and we’re in the chinlock on Orton. Back up and Orton grabs a powerslam, followed by a t-bone suplex to send Rollins to the apron. As luck would have it, he’s in position for the elevated DDT but Seth pops up with an enziguri, followed by an Asai moonsault to put both guys on the floor.

Back in and Randy can’t get a superplex but he’ll settle for a top rope backdrop and a high cross body, only to have Seth roll through for two. A low superkick staggers Orton and Seth tries standing Sliced Bread #2, only to get caught in the RKO for a very close two. That’s a move you don’t see kicked out of very often. The Stooges break up the Punt to keep this PG, allowing Rollins to hit the Curb Stomp for two. Seth tries it again but this time Orton launches him into the air and catches him in the RKO for the pin at 13:15.

Rating: B. Good but not great here with the near falls off the false finishes not having the best heat in the world. That ending is more than worth it though and looked awesome with Orton being able to catch that thing from almost anywhere. Orton is the kind of guy that you can throw in there whenever you need a spot like this and the fans are going to freak out over the RKO every time, especially when it’s something like that. Good stuff.

Ronda Rousey is here.

We recap HHH vs. Sting, which started back at Survivor Series but Sting disappeared for a few months, as is his custom. Sting stood up against the Authority’s corruption so the Authority talked down to him for never being in the big pond before, because WCW’s legacy exists for WWE to stomp on it and beat their chest over the battle that ended fourteen years ago. This turned into a big thing about the Monday Night Wars with Sting being the last soldier from WCW that had to be vanquished.

As a side note, here’s a great example of why Stephanie gets on people’s nerves. On one of the last shows before this match, Sting came out to say that this shouldn’t be about the Monday Night Wars because that would be totally ridiculous. This brought out Stephanie, to insist that it WAS about the Monday Night Wars and barely letting Sting get in another word, because she had spoken and that’s all that mattered.

HHH vs. Sting

No DQ or countout. Sting is played to the ring by some kind of Japanese band with drums and a gong. As you might expect, HHH completely upstages him with a full on Terminator commercial with the robots rising from the stage, a clip from the movie, HHH dressed as a Terminator and Arnold Schwarzenegger himself appearing on screen for the introduction. It might be time to call in Robocop.

They lock up after forty five seconds and a shoulder drops HHH for more stalling. A hiptoss and dropkick put HHH in the corner and Sting is looking better than he has in years. Fans: “YOU STILL GOT IT!” HHH’s right hands and facebuster have little effect as Sting goes for the Scorpion Deathlock (basically a Sharpshooter), sending HHH bailing to the floor. HHH comes back in but gets whipped over the corner as this has been one sided for the first five minutes.

Sting goes to the floor though and the Stinger Splash hits the barricade by mistake, as it’s done all but roughly twice in his career. Back in and HHH whips him across the ring several times until Sting collapses. We hit the chinlock to slow things down again before HHH goes to the middle rope for some reason. He dives into the Scorpion and here’s DX (X-Pac and the New Age Outlaws) for the save.

Sting fights them off with ease and backdrops HHH onto them, setting up a dive off the top (remember that Sting is 56 here) to take them all out. Back in and a Pedigree gets two so HHH gets the sledgehammer (one of at least two under the ring). This brings out the NWO (Hall, Nash and Hogan) to save Sting (SO much wrong with that statement, not even counting trying to remember if the Kliq exists in storylines or not). They take their sweet time and eventually clean house, allowing Sting to hit the Scorpion Death Drop (reverse DDT) for two.

Now the Deathlock goes on and Hogan pulls the sledgehammer away. Gunn takes Nash down and Nash is holding his leg in what almost has to be a rib. Sting tries to put the hold back on but Shawn Michaels runs in for Sweet Chin Music (well the area a few inches in front of the chin that is). HHH only gets two and both guys are done. Shawn hands HHH the hammer but Hall gives Sting a bat for the awesome duel. HHH’s hammer is broken over the bat and Sting pounds away in the corner, only to dive into the sledgehammer to the face for the pin at 18:35.

Rating: B-. This was a blast until the ending which I really didn’t want to see. Of course the quality here was bad but they were never going to get a good match out there so why not just go for the big circus act? I know the logic is that you can’t have Sting come in and beat HHH because he was WCW, but again, IT WAS FOURTEEN YEARS AGO.

Why does anything about the other company matter anymore? Sting came in as a big, fun moment and then it’s HAHA HHH WINS AGAIN! To be fair though, this was his first Wrestlemania win in five years so it’s not like it happens often. Still though, fun stuff but the ending was a punch to the stomach.

Post match HHH shakes Sting’s hand. As in the guy he hit in the face with a hammer two minutes ago. This doesn’t make any sense as HHH is still the corrupt villain, meaning Sting’s original mission should be ongoing. Forget all that though as this was one more rehash of the Monday Night Wars because people still care about that.

Ads for new shows coming to the WWE Network, including the new Divas Search.

Maria Menunos, in a Bushwhackers shirt, brings in Daniel Bryan. First ever Intercontinental Champion Pat Patterson comes in to congratulate him, as do Roddy Piper, Ricky Steamboat, Ric Flair (of course) and Bret Hart, who starts a YES chant. Ron Simmons comes in and scares them all before hitting his catchphrase.

Skylar Grey, Kid Ink and Travis Barker perform the theme songs. Thankfully it wasn’t a full on medley.

AJ Lee/Paige vs. Bella Twins

Real people vs. reality stars (from Total Divas), even though Paige had already become a cast member. Nikki is Divas Champion and in the middle of her reign of doom. Paige debuted at the Raw after Wrestlemania last year and has formed a dream team with AJ to take on the sisters.

Nikki and Paige have a catfight to start with the champ getting the better of it and knocking AJ off the apron. An Alabama Slam gets two on off an Alabama Slam. Brie comes in with a middle rope missile dropkick as the announcers debate the importance of the women not on Total Divas. AJ gets knocked off the apron again and Brie’s running knee to Paige gets two.

Back to Nikki who drops AJ for the third time, followed by the Rack Attack for two on Paige. They’re even kicking out of the finishers in midcard matches now. Paige superkicks Nikki down and both Bellas wind up on the floor, setting up Paige’s flip dive off the apron. The hot tag FINALLY brings in AJ who is quickly slammed down for two but Brie has to save Nikki from the Black Widow. Nikki forearms AJ for two more, only to get caught in the Black Widow for the submission at 6:42.

Rating: C-. This was a handicap match for the first half with Paige cleaning house, which was made even weirder when AJ came in anyway. Not that it mattered though as the Bellas were going to be pushed as the stars as long as they wanted to because of that stupid reality show. In theory this should have set up AJ as the next challenger but she retired later in the week and left the company for good.

We get a tale of the tape for Lesnar vs. Reigns, which Cole says is the result of a computer analysis. The stats include height, weight and career accomplishments. Did this computer analysis take place in the Korean War?

Hall of Fame video, with highlights of Lanny Poffo reading a poem to induct his brother Randy Savage and Connor Michalek receiving the first Warrior Award.

The Class of 2015 includes Rikishi, Larry Zbyszko (mainly famous in the 80s), Alundra Blayze, Connor Michalek, the Bushwhackers (with Butch on crutches but still doing the strut), Tatsumi Fujinami (a legendary Japanese wrestler), Randy Savage (represented by his brother), Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Kevin Nash (for the required Kliq member, though I wonder why he can go in under his real name and not Hall).

We recap John Cena vs. Rusev for the US Title. Rusev, an evil Bulgarian/Russian, won the title late last year and is undefeated. He’s run through all kinds of American stars and even beat Cena via knockout at Fast Lane 2015. Tonight is the big rematch (as granted by Rusev’s manager Lana to plant the seeds for their split) and showdown for the title. This is one of those stories that worked for years and is still working now because it’s such a simple idea.

US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging. Rusev’s entrance trumps everything tonight as the Russian military accompanies Lana to the ring before Rusev rolls out IN A TANK. This is so Rocky IV. Cena has a video montage of Presidents of the United States talking about American exceptionalism until Cena walks out. The fans do the always awesome JOHN CENA SUCKS chant to the tune of his music.

The champ spinwheel kicks the American down to start and dives at Cena for a gutwrench suplex (from Rusev in a cool move) for two. A Cannonball in the corner gets the same but Rusev stops to wave the Russian flag. You don’t do that to a real American so Cena kicks him in the face and starts his way too early finishing sequence. The top rope Fameasser gets two but the fans are too busy cheering for Lana to care.

The AA is broken up and a jumping superkick drops Cena cold. Rusev argues with the referee though and Cena hooks a tornado DDT for two more. A quick Alabama Slam (that’s how you do it Nikki) looks to set up the Accolade (Rusev’s camel clutch finisher) but Cena pulls him down into the STF. As Cena does some of the loudest instructing I’ve ever heard (telling Rusev to keep his head up), Lana throws in a shoe for a distraction so Rusev can make the ropes. Seriously, a shoe? You couldn’t like, go yell at him or something? At least it was rather heelish.

Rusev throws him down with a fall away slam, followed by a top rope headbutt of all things for two. He can’t quite get the Accolade though, allowing Cena to kick him away and debut the springboard Stunner for two of his own. Another jumping superkick and a wheelbarrow slam set up the Accolade and the fans are THRILLED. This time Cena powers out and grabs the STF. Lana offers another distraction but Rusev rams into her by mistake, setting up the AA to give Cena the title at 14:43.

Rating: C+. It’s cool to see Cena drop down the card like this as he’s been in the main event for so long now that it’s hard to get into seeing him win the World Title again. The match was good enough even if there was an obvious ending but the Accolade could have stayed on longer. Rusev was built up to lose at a match like this and there’s nothing wrong with that. It would have been interesting to see Rusev escape again here though and have Cena chase him over the summer.

Rusev blames Lana for the loss.

Wrestlemania XXXII is in Dallas.

The pre-show panel talks about the Tag Team Title match and Big Show winning the battle royal. Thanks for reminding me.

Here are HHH and Stephanie to brag about the new attendance record and desperately fill in some time as we have two matches left and nearly an hour and a half to go. Stephanie talks about watching Wrestlemania I live and seeing her friend Andre the Giant (This was a thing for her around this time as she would mention this whenever she could. For some reason this was her justification for not letting Cena be in the Andre battle royal.).

Wrestlemania has grown exponentially since then and it’s all because of the Authority’s leadership. HHH says it’s like he beat everyone here tonight, just like he beat Sting (Buy a ticket, get a hammer to the face!). They own everyone here because the Authority wins. That means they own the people and that means it’s time for the Rock. Cole says Rock has headlined five Wrestlemanias. Are they really still going with the idea that Rock vs. Hogan wasn’t the headliner?

The fans keep cheering until Stephanie asks them to be quiet because we get the idea. Rock tells Stephanie that she doesn’t own the people here, including himself because he was born right around here. As for HHH, he can either go dress up as the Terminator again or they can make a Wrestlemania moment right here and right now. HHH doesn’t seem interested so, just like Rock left his heart in San Francisco, HHH clearly left something back in Connecticut.

Stephanie gets in Rock’s face and says he knows there’s no Rock without the McMahons. Rock’s dad Rocky Johnson would be nowhere without Vince Sr., Vince Jr. and Stephanie. That starts a chant for Shane, which even Cole acknowledges. Rock says that Stephanie would be nowhere without Vince so she slaps him. Stephanie keeps ranting as Rock goes outside……and stands next to Ronda Rousey. Fans: “RONDA’S GONNA KILL YOU!” Rock introduces her to Stephanie but Stephanie says they’re friends already.

Stephanie KEEPS GOING and says this is her ring. Ronda says any ring she steps into is hers so Stephanie can make her leave. Stephanie smiles at her but Rousey gives her a look, which Rock sums up as meaning “she’s going to reach down your throat, pull out your insides and play jump rope with your Fallopian tubes.” HHH tries to interrupt and gets beaten down, including a hiptoss from Rousey. Stephanie loads up the slap but gets her arm bent back with as little force as possible, likely due to UFC contract stipulations. Rousey and Rock stand tall.

There’s no time to recap Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker but it’s what you would expect: Bray wants to be the new evil monster and Undertaker stands in his way. The interesting note here is Bray sprained the heck out of his ankle earlier in the day so he’s nowhere near 100%.

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

The awesome entrances continue (well as awesome as a guy holding a lantern when it’s still daylight can be) as Bray walks down the ramp and passes a string of zombies who come to life as he goes by. Undertaker has grown some hair back and looks like he did in 2002. Bray charges into a boot before the bell, though that might be all that ankle can handle for the match.

Some driving shoulders set up Old School (notice that Undertaker’s offense here keeps Bray from having to stand alone) but a running clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor. He lands on his feet though and pulls Bray out to keep up the beating. The apron legdrop staggers Bray even more but he breaks up the big boot with his running cross body. Bray takes his time pounding Undertaker down which makes sense coming from him.

The ankle is fine enough for a running splash in the corner but Bray drops down and puts on a chinlock. For someone as banged up as he is, this is a solid performance from Wyatt. Undertaker’s head is rammed into the post but Bray goes down and holds his ankle. I don’t know why they didn’t do a quick angle during the match to explain the injury. Back in and Bray can’t stand at first.

Undertaker grabs Hell’s Gate but Bray punches his way out before it goes on full. A release Rock Bottom sets up the backsplash for two on Undertaker. Sister Abigail is countered into a chokeslam followed by a Tombstone for two. These near falls are WAY past overdone so far tonight. Another Tombstone is countered into Sister Abigail to freak Bray out even more. Bray does his spider bridge up but Undertaker sits up and glares into Wyatt’s eyes, sending Bray wilting to the mat in a perfect reaction. Bray actually wins a slugout but Sister Abigail is countered into a second Tombstone to give Undertaker the pin at 15:06.

Rating: C+. This match told me a few things. First and foremost, last year’s match was so bad because of the injury. Undertaker looked like his old (emphasis on that word) self here and was nowhere near as off as he was last year. Unfortunately it also tells me that Bray isn’t going to move up the card any time soon.

With the Streak over there’s no real reason for Undertaker to win here, other than to give the fans a feel good moment. Bray was trying as hard as he could on one leg but he could only get so far. Finally, Undertaker is missing something now that the Streak is gone. 21-1 still sounds impressive but it’s just not the same.

Ad for Extreme Rules.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. Brock has been unstoppable lately after squashing Cena to win the title at Summerslam 2014. Reigns won the Royal Rumble to earn the shot, despite being LOATHED by the crowd at this point. The idea became about him trying to honor his family’s history and legacy which worked to a degree, but no matter what they did, it was still Brock Lesnar on the other side and people wanted to see him massacre Reigns in every way he could think of.

The other problem for Reigns is he hasn’t really earned the spot. Aside from the Rumble, his only major win was last month over Daniel Bryan. This really wasn’t the strongest build in the world and is boiling down to Brock suplexes a lot and Reigns hits him a lot. Roman has been told he can’t beat Brock and his motivation is to prove him wrong. That’s the extent of his motivation and that’s not enough for the main event of Wrestlemania.

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Brock is defending of course. We do the big match intros and Reigns is booed out of the building, following by the fans to quote Heyman’s intro along with him. Roman goes right at Brock to start but gets driven into the corner, setting up the first German suplex. Brock is already bleeding but he hits the F5 inside of thirty seconds. A release fisherman’s suplex sends Reigns flying but he elbows out of a German, drawing incredible booing from the crowd.

Brock no sells a clothesline and now the German sends Reigns across the ring again. Reigns smiles at Brock, earning himself a belly to back suplex and Brock debuting the “SUPLEX CITY” line. Right hands don’t bother Brock either as another German drops Reigns again. Roman keeps smiling so Brock breaks it up with a release German. The fans think this is awesome as Brock forearms Reigns off the apron and into the barricade. As he gets back in, Reigns scores with a knee to the ribs, followed by some kicks to the face but Brock catches a foot and knocks Reigns silly with a clothesline.

A belly to belly overhead brings Reigns back in over the top rope but Reigns shakes his head at Brock again. Another F5 gets two and now Brock take the gloves off. Some hard slaps put Reigns down but he tells Brock to bring it on. Another German earns him another bring it on so Brock gives him suplex number ten. The third F5 gets two more, putting Reigns past Undertaker last year. Brock takes Roman outside but Reigns posts him, drawing some real blood from Lesnar.

Back in and Brock is wobbly so Roman its two straight Superman Punches. That gets him to a knee but Reigns has to elbow out of another German. The third Superman Punch puts Brock down and there’s the spear. Brock is up though so a second spear gets a VERY close two. Heyman is on his knees praying as the fans are booing Roman even more. A fourth Superman Punch is countered into a fourth F5…….AND HERE COMES SETH ROLLINS TO CASH IN MONEY IN THE BANK!

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

The Curb Stomp puts Brock down but Reigns has to spear Brock down to save Seth from an F5. Another Curb Stomp (and a whisper of “thank you so much” to Reigns) gives Seth the title at 16:43!

Rating: A-. They went in a TOTALLY different direction here and it was the best thing they possibly could have done. Reigns vs. Lesnar had little interest as a match but as a one sided war with Reigns giving it everything he had near the end, they turned it into one of the most dramatic spectacles you could find. They had me on the near fall after that second spear and I lost it when Rollins came out.

That ending was a stroke of brilliance as they didn’t want to job Lesnar but they didn’t want to give Reigns the title yet. Rollins had been the wrestler of the year in 2014 and it made much better sense to give him the credit that he deserved for it here. Great drama, great action, and a way better match that it had any right to be.

Fireworks and posing take us out.

Overall Rating: B+. I actually liked this show a lot more live, which probably had a lot to do with the expectations being so low coming in. With more time to think about it and the shock of the cash in being gone, it’s still a really strong show that FAR exceeded expectations. The main event was great and most of the other stuff was good. Aside from the main event there really isn’t a big blow away match though and that hurts things a bit.

The entire show was set up differently this year as there were very few backstage segments and the show was able to fly by otherwise. However, there was that big twenty plus minute segment with Rock/HHH/Stephanie and that’s what caused a big part of this show’s problem: it’s too long.

Counting the two hour pre-show and it’s nearly thirty minutes of wrestling, this show runs nearly six hours. It doesn’t matter if it’s the greatest show you’ve ever watched; that’s too long. There had to be something that could be cut in here (hint: it was the long part that didn’t involve a match), even though none of the matches broke twenty minutes. Between the big talking segment and the live performance, which still adds nothing to the show, there’s too much in here and it makes for a very long sit.

Overall though, this was a major surprise and a better show than it had any right to be. The low expectations helped it a lot, but this was looking like one of the worst Wrestlemanias in history and wound up being a lot of fun. Nothing on it really stands out above the rest (save for maybe the main event) so the whole is greater than the sum of all its parts. Really fun show here.

Ratings Comparison

New Day vs. Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd

Original: C+

Redo: B

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D+

Redo: D

Intercontinental Title Ladder Match

Original: B

Redo: B

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: B

Sting vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: B-

Paige/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Rusev vs. John Cena

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

Original: B

Redo: C+

Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: B+

Yeah the shock had a lot to do with it but there was good stuff throughout.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/03/29/wrestlemania-xxxi-shock-and-awe-shock-and-awe/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6