Thunder
Date: October 11, 2000
Location: Entertainment Centre, Brisbane, Australia
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray

We’re still down in Australia for a show that was taped right after Nitro. Monday’s show was an improvement but it’s hard to say how well that’s going to carry over because this company has the consistency of a broken roller coaster. Halloween Havoc is in a few weeks and most of the card is already set though so let’s get to it.

Scott Steiner and Jeff Jarrett yell at Shawn Stasiak, telling him to tell Sanders that Steiner wants Booker tonight. Of all the people you could tell this to, you pick Shawn Stasiak?

Shane Douglas/Lance Storm vs. Konnan/General Rection

Fallout from the Down Underwear match on Monday. Before the match, Douglas and Torrie rip on the Australians for being wannabe Americans. O Canada is interrupted by the Misfits theme, which is quite the downgrade. The good guys rush the ring and clean house before we get going. Douglas and Konnan slug it out in the corner to start but Storm sneaks in with a blind tag, setting up a springboard cross body to drop Konnan in a nice move.

The heels take turns on Konnan with Shane nailing a nice basement dropkick. You would have thought Storm would use that spot. Gunns offers a quick trip though and a double clothesline puts Storm and Konnan down. We get a good looking catfight as Rection comes in off the hot tag. Rection’s top rope elbow gets two on Storm with Shane using a reverse Hennig necksnap for the save. Cue Kidman for a Kid Crusher to Shane, setting up No Laughing Matter for the pin.

Rating: C. Storyline advancement, Kidman, a three way catfight and some good looking stuff from Storm and Douglas. What more can you ask for from a short tag match between two midcard storylines? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think WCW was actually being booked somewhat well.

Mike Sanders is singing Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport (obviously an Outback Jack fan) when Stasiak comes in to explain Steiner’s demands. Booker gets a non-title match tonight (not necessarily against Steiner) and a quick argument breaks out over a stuffed kangaroo.

Here’s the Cat to talk to Australian martial arts champion Sam Greco. Sam admits that most people don’t know who he is but he’ll fight anyone that WCW puts in front of him. Cue the Thrillers, with Sanders saying Cat can’t hire anyone. Cat: “I hired your mom last night.” Sanders is annoyed so Cat gives him Stevie Ray tonight, which forces him to make Cat vs. Kevin Nash. We’re still not done yet though as Cat changes the match to Sanders vs. Sting. Greco kicks Sanders down and that’s supposed to be his big introduction. Tank Abbott he is not.

Jindrak and O’Haire don’t have much to say to Sanders.

Tag Team Titles: Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak vs. Lieutenant Loco/Corporal Cajun

Jindrak and O’Haire are defending and start beating up the much smaller guys in a hurry. Loco is thrown across the ring and clotheslined down. The Misfits come right back with DDT’s, only to have Sean plant Loco with a tilt-a-whirl slam. The hurricanrana into the Seanton gets two with Chavo making the save, setting up a Frog splash for two on Sean. Leroux grabs a hurricanrana of his own for the very quick pin on Jindrak for the titles in a big surprise.

Rating: C. They kept this one moving fast in the smartest move of the night as Chavo and Leroux are only so interesting even when they’re at their highest speed. O’Haire and Jindrak are a good, young team and it’s really no surprise that they lose in a nothing match like this to a low level team.

Not so fast though as Sanders comes out and says the rematch is RIGHT NOW.

Tag Team Titles: Lieutenant Loco/Corporal Cajun vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

A quick double rollup gets two on the new champs and Sean superkicks Chavo. Lash dives back in with a high cross body for two, followed by a botched sunset flip for the same. All four stay in the ring and we get an awkward sequence where Sean brings in a belt but watches Jindrak get sunset flipped again for two more before hitting Lash in the head to turn a hurricanrana into a powerbomb. That’s still not it though as Chavo makes the save but gets knocked out, setting up the Seanton for the pin to give the Thrillers the titles back. Too short to rate but as usual the title change doesn’t mean much.

AWOL comes out to fight the champs.

Elix Skipper brags about being an Olympian and wants Kidman later tonight.

Kronik vs. Booker T.

Non-title. Before the match Booker doe some good sucking up to the fans. Well what else is a face champion supposed to do? The beatdown is on in a hurry with Kronik beating Booker down like he’s any given jobber. It’ snot like titles mean anything anyway right? The full nelson slam looks to set up High Times but here’s Goldberg through the crowd to spear Clark. Adams almost gets a full nelson slam on Goldberg but eats a superkick from Booker as the match is thrown out. Well that was pointless.

Chuck Palumbo is on the phone with someone who might be his mom and asks for advice against Goldberg.

Johnny the Bull tells an arriving Nash that Sanders is having problems but Nash doesn’t seem worried.

Kidman vs. Elix Skipper

This could be fun and Duggan is with Skipper. Kidman pounds away to start and dives onto Duggan with a nice plancha. Back in and Kidman misses a quick splash, allowing Skipper to stomp away. We get some CANADA SUCKS chants as Skipper misses a top rope elbow (drawing a Macho Man reference from Madden).

The Bodog gets two for Kidman and a quick BK Bomb gets the same. Kidman gets crotched and Skipper rope walks into a hurricanrana for a cool looking yet mostly screwed up spot. Not that it matters as Duggan gets in a board shot, setting up the Play of the Week (Wasn’t it Play of the Day last time?) for the pin.

Rating: C-. I was expecting more here but they’re doing a good job of building Skipper up as a player in the division. This makes him 1-1 against Mysterio and Kidman which is a lot better than a lot of people do. Just like so many cares before him though, it’s likely that he winds up doing nothing because the Cruiserweight Title is stuck in an angle instead of a feud but at least he isn’t being wasted.

Palumbo confirms that he was indeed talking to his mom but lets it slip that she told him to run. WHY ARE YOU TREATING THE THRILLERS LIKE WORTHLESS COWARDS??? WCW spent all this time and effort to bring these guys up (years after they should have) and it’s another excuse to waste them while making the old guys look strong. Yeah they’ve gotten the midcard titles that almost everyone has won over the years and haven’t done anything for anyone but since it’s WCW they do the same things over and over and over again and then wonder why it doesn’t go anywhere.

It’s time for an Australian Lava Lamp Lounge because this gimmick WILL get over no matter how dead it is. At least the set is a bit more festive this week with the Australian décor. Tonight’s guests are Kwee Wee (not Kiwi Mike, though it would be easier to type) and Paisley and Mike gets right to hitting on her. Kwee Wee talks about training with the Thrillers and yells at Mike for the Paisley stuff, only to have the Thrillers and Harris Brothers come out for the weekly attack. Another week with the same stuff because WCW wants to make Mike Awesome look as stupid and worthless as possible.

Sanders tells Nash about his match with Sting tonight. So Nash wasn’t watching the show either?

Goldberg vs. Chuck Palumbo

After the long entrance, Palumbo (looking very serious in yellow) tries a cheap shot with as much success as you would expect. Stasiak gets in a shot from the apron but Goldberg no sells a top rope shoulder. A spear drops both guys and Goldberg Jackhammers both of them for back to back pins, making the new streak 7-0. To be fair they had to do something to make this new one get higher in a hurry and this is as good as they can get.

Halloween Havoc video.

Sting vs. Mike Sanders

Non-title of course. Jarrett comes out dressed as Surfer Sting (again to Metallica) and points the bat at Sanders. Jeff talks about having no heart anymore and lays down, drawing out the real Sting to clean house. A Stinger Splash misses though and Sanders gets in a few bat shots followed by a dancing DiBiase falling punch. We hit a cobra clutch of all things until Sting makes the obvious comeback with three Stinger Splashes and a Death Drop for the easy pin. Good thing those baseball bat shots didn’t have too much effect.

Post break Sanders yells at the Thrillers, even though he should be yelling at Jarrett for bailing so early. Then again, heels aren’t supposed to make sense.

Harris Twins vs. Mike Awesome/Crowbar

Awesome gets beaten down by the Twins to start as the referee continues to not care about doing his job. Crowbar dropkicks both Twins out to the floor and the thrown together 70s team (the fact that Crowbar was one of the roster’s hidden gems for so long and gets this as a reward sums up a lot of WCW’s problems) getting the better of it early on.

Crowbar tries to speed things up a bit too much though until he charges into a Rock Bottom as everything breaks down. A nice wheelbarrow suplex (always liked that move) drops Ron but it’s already table time. I’m not sure if I’d rather have a table involved or watch the Harris Brothers try to have a regular match. The table is set in the corner but Awesome counters a powerbomb with a backdrop to drive Ron through for the pin.

Rating: C-. The action was faster paced here but the important thing is the Twins losing. I know it isn’t going to mean anything long term but at least a team of two talented guys who work hard got a win over one of the least interesting acts in the company. Maybe that’s just dumb luck or maybe it’s Russo being gone. Either way, at least it was the right call.

Rey Mysterio vs. Scott Steiner

We get a few rhymes from Steiner about how awesome he is with the ladies. For some reason Stevie says that watching BET at night doesn’t mean you’re going to win. Tony: “Tygress, you got it girl.” Steiner knees Rey in the ribs to start and we’re already in squash mode. If it’s good enough for the Jung Dragons, squashing Rey isn’t much of a stretch of course. I mean, all cruiserweights are the same right?

Rey tries to speed things up but gets his head taken off by a clothesline. Steiner throws him over the top but Rey hangs on, allowing him to drop a springboard legdrop to break up the pushups. A hurricanrana staggers Steiner again….and he throws Rey down with a suplex to take over again. Something like an Angle Slam from the middle rope sets up the Recliner to end this squash.

Rating: D. I get the idea here but there has to be someone besides Mysterio that you could put into this spot. Normally this should have been Lash Leroux but for some reason we already saw him twice tonight. You can’t find anyone else other than the most successful cruiserweight the company has ever had to take this beating? No one at all? With the roster WCW had they didn’t have three schnooks to put out there and get squashed in a handicap match?

Kevin Nash vs. The Cat

Oh wait as here’s Mike Sanders because we haven’t seen him enough. Stevie: “When is he going to defend that belt?” Tony announcers Nitro and Thunder in England next month but Stevie doesn’t want to go. Did he turn heel and I missed it? Sanders sits in on commentary in a holdover Russo trope but pops up to the apron for an early distraction. You know, because Kevin Nash needs help against The Cat.

Nash does his usual slow offense in the corner while throwing in some trash talk. Now it’s Nash offering a test of strength but getting kicked in the ribs for a surprise knockdown. I’m stunned Nash actually bumped for that. Another karate shot stuns Nash but he kicks Cat in the face. There go the straps but Sanders comes in with a chair to knock Cat out for absolutely no apparent reason.

Booker comes out to save Cat from a powerbomb through the chair. This brings out Steiner which brings out Sting which brings out Jarrett. The heels dominate until Goldberg comes out, only to have Kronik run in and give Goldberg High Times to end the show. One note here: for the last few weeks they’ve had a Halloween Havoc countdown come on screen a few times a show. It’s a good idea to keep fans thinking about this but also letting them know that they’re running out of time to order the show. I wish more companies would do this today as it can’t take more than a few buttons to get it on screen.

Overall Rating: D+. Again, better show here as the problems that have been plaguing the shows are still there but they’re toned way down. They need to cut out the dueling authority figures nonsense and stop with the quick title changes but the show doesn’t feel as chaotic. It doesn’t make me want to throw the remote at the screen anymore and is now just more of a show with a lot of problems instead of a show flying off a cliff. That’s something, right?

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Monday Nitro #261
Date: October 9, 2000
Location: Brisbane Entertainment Centre, Brisbane, Australia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Stevie Ray

Now this should be an interesting show as WCW is now taking their unique brand of horrible to a new country. This is the first of four straight shows in Australia but more interesting than that is the fact that it’s the first show without Vince Russo around. The concussions had caused him to be confined to his home but he would send in his stories. It should be interesting to see how the show goes without him actually in the arena though. Let’s get to it.

Jeff Jarrett arrives in Surfer Sting attire.

Opening sequence.

It’s so strange to see a full arena at Nitro.

Elix Skipper vs. Rey Mysterio

Skipper now has his own theme song which I actually have on my iPod to this day. The fans are VERY excited to see Tygress, who is in Rey’s corner. The ring bell sounds very different here which isn’t something you expect to be all that different in a different country. Feeling out process to start with Elix getting tired of the early wrestling and knocking Rey in the mouth.

A big flip dive over the top takes Mysterio down again but a slingshot…..something only hits the mat. Rey shows he’s still got the flying abilities with a top rope Fameasser (one of the few moves that both Mysterio and Cena do), followed by a springboard moonsault for two. For some reason Skipper tries to walk the ropes (ala Undertaker) into a hurricanrana and the botch is nothing short of spectacular.

Instead he settles for a chinlock for a bit until Rey hits a surprisingly strong clothesline. It helps when your opponent isn’t the biggest guy in the world but you still don’t see that from Rey too often. A good looking springboard flip dive to the floor takes Skipper down again. Back in and Rey casually ducks Skipper’s springboard crossbody and scores with the Bronco Buster (complete with rhythmic squeaks from Tygress). Cue Torrie to go after Tygress and the distraction sets up the Play of the Week (formerly the Overdrive) to give Skipper the upset pin.

Rating: C+. This worked well here and there was an actual story instead of just doing moves to each other. The idea that both guys could fly but Skipper didn’t have the experience to tone things down just a bit to make them work is actually interesting and gives respect to Rey at the same time for being able to hold up against an incredible athlete like Skipper but being smart at the same time. Really nice surprise here.

The Boogie Knights try to borrow Torrie for the night but get turned down. It’s amazing how natural she looks after a catfight. Not a hair out of place and perfect makeup a minute after that brawl really is amazing.

David Flair arrives in a blood mobile.

Here are the Natural Born Thrillers without Reno for some reason. Sanders gets right to the point and says he’s the new WCW Commissioner, which should probably require a bigger explanation than it’s receiving here. Tonight we’re getting a Down Underwear match between Torrie Wilson and Tygress, which is of course a Bra and Panties match. Sanders brings up Russo and the fans seem to hate him all over the world.

Before Sanders can get to Goldberg, here’s the Cat to cut him off. A brawl is teased but Sanders is smart enough to hide behind the Thrillers. It’s true that Russo put Sanders inside so Cat wants to work together. Why he would want to do that after it’s already established that the Commissioner was above Russo isn’t clear but I’d rather not hear the explanation. Cat wants to work with Sanders to make this a party and he’s got some friends who want to join him. This brings out the Misfits in Action and it’s time for a dance off, only to have Cat and company clean house.

Stacy Keibler, now showing a bit, arrives.

Jarrett introduces himself to catering but says it’s SHOWTIME.

Tag Team Titles: Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak vs. Boogie Knights

Disco and Wright are challenging. Jindrak works on Alex’s arm to start as Tony hypes up Halloween Havoc. A nice tilt-a-whirl slam drops Wright but Disco gets in a Duck shot (Madden: “That duck’s dynamite!”) to take over. Disco comes in with a middle rope elbow for two but it’s quickly off to Sean to put us back to even. O’Haire makes Disco look tiny and the right hands only hit air.

Instead the champs LAUNCH Disco across the ring but Wright crotches Sean to break up the Seanton Bomb. A Russian legsweep/missile dropkick combination drops Jindrak but the champs come right back with a double kick for two. O’Haire actually throws something like a superkick towards Mark so Jindrak can tag his boot. I’ve never seen that before but it’s kind of brilliant.

Wright rolls around and makes the hot tag to Disco (who is an Inferno remember) and house is cleaned. Tony: “I can’t believe it! Disco is looking great!” Everything breaks down and the referee gets bumped. A Chartbuster drops Mark for the pin and the titles but Sanders comes out to say that doesn’t count because of the referee. The rest of the Thrillers come in for the DQ anyway.

Rating: C. Oh yeah things are already looking a lot better around here. Well as far as the wrestling goes at least as the booking really isn’t working. O’Haire and Jindrak are the champions but they’re looking worse and worse every single week as they couldn’t even beat the Boogie Knights without help. The action was actually good here though as the Thrillers can go but they need to be treated as something serious instead of goons who keep surviving.

Actually scratch that DQ as Sanders says restart the match so the champs can get an easy pin.

Goldberg arrives.

Some WCW women went to play with koalas.

Jarrett says buy the Sting MasterCard even though he has no heart.

Mark Madden calls out Stacy Keibler to talk about the pregnancy. Madden gets right to the point and asks who the father is. Stacy correctly says it’s none of our business but David Flair needs to drop all this stuff. If David has to blame someone, blame her because she made a mistake. She still loves David though but he wants her to cut this out. Madden asks if Stacy won’t say because she can’t remember who the father was. Or maybe she was drunk or has been with so many men that it could be anyone.

Stacy tries to storm off but here’s David to cut her off. David asks what she likes about Buff but Stacy says that was innocent flirting. That’s not good enough as David wants a blood test right now but That 70s Crowbar comes out before he can put a needle in her. Crowbar offers to go have a talk with him in the back but David beats him down instead. What does it say about your career when you’re ripping off a bad character AND getting beaten down by Mike Awesome? Even Zack Ryder thinks you’ve been buried at that point. Mike Awesome comes out to make the save.

Jarrett says he has a treat for all his Little Stingers and it’s only going to cost them $15 a pop. I’m still not sure why these two are feuding but as usual the story is being done way harder than it needs to be when they should just be having a good old fashioned fifteen minute match.

Tygress vs. Torrie Wilson

Bra and Panties match but both of them start in stereotypical Australian clothes. It’s a brawl to start (well as brawling as they’re going to get) as Madden says he’d get in Torrie’s pouch. If she was a kangaroo that is. Tygress loses her top, Torrie loses her shorts and crawls into position for a Bronco Buster, followed by Tygress ripping off the top for the win. Nothing match here for the obvious purposes.

Post match Shane Douglas comes in to go after Tygress but Konnan makes the save, just like he did last time.

Sanders gives Vito a match for later tonight.

Here’s Jarrett to Sting’s Metallica music while still in the Surfer Sting gear. Jarrett forces Dave Penzer to introduce Sting. The ring is full of autograph tables and merchandise. Jarrett walks around and says that Sting will be retiring after losing at Halloween Havoc. “Sting” may have lost his smile but he can still sign autographs for $15 each. Cue the real Sting from the ceiling but Jeff poses at him anyway meaning house is quickly cleaned.

They fight over by the announcers’ table but Jeff comes back and gives Sting a Stinger Splash. A suplex puts Sting through the table but he pops back up and punches in the corner (likely because it was just a suplex), followed by the Deathlock. Security breaks it up to end the best Nitro segment in months. Jarrett was doing a great Sting impression and Sting coming out was the right way to go with this. I actually want to see them fight at Halloween Havoc now and that’s exactly what they needed to do.

Steiner says he’ll take care of Jarrett.

Mike Sanders/Kevin Nash vs. Booker T./The Cat

Booker and Mike get things going with Sanders getting kicked in the face. It’s off to Cat for more kicks, a crotch chop, and a shot to the face. Nash hits Cat in the back from the apron and Mike takes over with a Ted DiBiase falling punch. The tag off to Nash gets a big pop and it’s time for the slow, plodding heel offense. Cat gets in a double clothesline and makes the hot tag off to Booker. Sanders gets beaten down and Booker loads up the Bookend, only to bring in Cat for the Feliner and the pin.

Rating: D. This may not have been the best match in the world but at least they had a match that was built up and followed a formula to a clean ending. I’ll take something like this over whatever mess Russo usually runs, which would likely have included multiple run-ins, interference and a heel turn instead of just a four minute match which was fine enough.

Cat goes to talk to some karate fighter as Scott Steiner comes in to clean house. Steiner promises to end Booker at Halloween Havoc but wants to fight Sting tonight.

David Flair wants Awesome in a hardcore match.

Vito has Goldberg tonight but they don’t have any personal issues.

Goldberg vs. Big Vito

The Mafia Kick is no sold and the two moves continue the new Streak.

Goldberg leaves and here’s Johnny the Bull to stomp on Vito, which draws Goldberg back for the save. A suplex and Jackhammer apparently counts as a win to make Goldberg 5-0. Kronik comes out for the staredown.

A car arrives.

Mike Awesome vs. David Flair

Hardcore. Mike clotheslines him down and brings in the weapons as neither guy is in wrestling gear. That’s too passe for them you see. David gets in some trashcan shots but Awesome shrugs them off and keeps up the beating. A big chair shot to the head drops David as we hear about Sonny Bono and Bob Dylan. Back in and some chops have no effect on Awesome, setting up the splash and powerbomb to put David away with ease.

Rating: D. No reason for this to be hardcore but well done on making sure that the Hardcore Champion isn’t even on the show while someone else wins a hardcore squash. If nothing else at least there was a coherent story to get to this match and someone won it without any interference or some story altering turn. That alone is a step in the right direction.

Ric Flair got out of the car and comes to the ring as Awesome loads up a table for David. Awesome is ready to powerbomb him but Ric calls him off. David still wants nothing to do with him.

Major Gunns asks Kwee Wee for a new outfit because Kwee Wee is still the wardrobe guy. So he’s just a part time wrestler? Lance Storm drags her off.

US Title: Lance Storm vs. Konnan

Storm is defending and doesn’t like Australian fans either. Apparently there’s something wrong with the top rope which is a reference to something about the gymnastics setup being off at the 2000 Olympics. Well a then topical joke is better than nothing. Madden: “Major Gunns is such a tramp they named the trampoline after her.” Konnan spins out of a wristlock to start as everyone else is sent to the back.

Storm gets in a few dropkicks to take over and drops him with a backbreaker for two. A small package gets a very close two for Konnan and he makes his comeback with the usual, including the facejam. Cue Shane Douglas to hit Konnan in the back with a chain (and the referee LOOKS RIGHT AT HIM) to set up a northern lights suplex for two. The Maple Leaf retains Storm’s title a few seconds later. That’s quite the odd finish as the interference really should have set up the finish.

Rating: D+. The interference didn’t need to happen but at least they tied something together to the pay per view. Storm was holding this together well enough and the match wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen. Canada vs. Animals didn’t break out here and it’s a lot better to just let it be a regular match instead of part of some big stable war.

Sting vs. Scott Steiner

Jeff Jarrett comes out and let’s make him guest referee due to reasons. Steiner (in the protective mask once again) can’t get in a cheap shot to start and Sting stomps in the corner until a single forearm to the back drops the painted one. They head outside for a bit until Sting heads back inside to beat up the referee. Madden: “YOU CAN’T CRUSH THE REFEREE’S GONADS LIKE THAT!” Jeff whips Sting into a belly to belly for a fast two and we hit the Tree of Woe so Steiner can choke away. A regular referee comes in and eats a forearm and it’s time to keep up the beating.

Sting tries to send Scott into the buckle but doesn’t notice THE BIG PLASTIC MASK and earns himself a low blow. Scott charges into a boot in the corner but Jeff gets in the way of the Stinger Splash. The heels start working together and beat on Sting with a hard whip sending him into the steps. Cue the Cat and Booker T. in a referee shirt (Stevie: “He’s got a referee shirt on! And some very nice slacks!”) and Steiner eats a superkick, setting up the Death Drop for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was your usual insane main event with almost no coherence but I do like that they didn’t even bother trying to have a wrestling match for the most part. However, was there ANY reason to have Steiner take the loss here? You have Sting getting ready for the match with Jarrett so wouldn’t it make sense to have him fight but then get screwed over so you can show that Sting has heart, only to have Jeff say he doesn’t? Either way, they did what they could here but it was an angle instead of a match.

Overall Rating: D. That’s a different kind of D than most of the other shows as this one was at least coherent instead of some kind of huge mess that parodied wrestling on a weekly basis. The show itself wasn’t anything worth seeing but at least there wasn’t anything horrible here. The bigger crowd and the lack of Russo running around made this show so much easier to sit through. It still needs a lot of work but it’s FAR better than most of the nonsense I’ve been sitting through with WCW lately.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: October 4, 2000
Location: Long Beach Arena, Long Beach, California
Attendance: 2,666
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone

It’s the last stateside show for two weeks before they’re off to Australia to see if Russo’s brilliance can alienate another culture. Now that being said, Russo’s influence is certainly waning as his injuries are threatening to keep him off television, as well as away from the office to keep his stories going. Granted I’m not sure how strong the creative will be based on whoever WCW gets to run the sinking ship. Let’s get to it.

This show is dedicated to Klondike Bill, a longtime production boss for WCW who passed away.

Shane Douglas tried to get on Mike Sanders’ good side earlier and since they’re both heels (and kind of dumb), it worked.

Here’s Jeff Jarrett to open things up. He immediately gets to the point by insulting Sting, who apparently has lost his heart for the business and is a ghost of his former self. Sting may have been the man in WCW for the last 40 years but now it’s Jeff’s world. They’ll be fighting at Halloween Havoc….and here’s Beetlejuice. Yeah Beetlejuice, the small guy from the Howard Stern Show who has now been part of the swimsuit contest and changing the WCW World Title. That’s the logical progression you see.

Beetlejuice threatens to smoke Jarrett, who throws some mock punches. We cut to the back to see Booker getting knocked out by Steiner, followed by Sting running out for a fight with Jarrett. As they’re fighting, a fake Sting comes out of the crowd to lay out Sting with a pipe. That would be….Shane Douglas, who is taken away as Jarrett beats up Beetlejuice.

Booker is being taken away in an ambulance. No wonder WCW went out of business. Those ambulance bills probably cost more than Hogan.

Steiner keeps breaking stuff with the pipe.

Halloween Havoc video.

Sgt. AWOL vs. Jim Duggan

If this is the point you’ve reached in your feud, it might be time to pull the plug. Before the match, Duggan complains about the American flag having too many stars because there’s no unity. You can tell Duggan doesn’t want to be cutting this promo so AWOL (who sounds A LOT like Shane Douglas) interrupts him to get things going. It’s a brawl on the floor to start (dang I’m getting tired of having to write that on these shows) with Duggan getting the better of it and sending AWOL face first into the post.

They get back inside to keep slugging it out with AWOL taking over this time as the announcers talk about hockey. It’s time for the table but AWOL slams him into the announcers’ table instead. Back in and Duggan fights out of a chokeslam through the table, allowing Reno to sneak in with a kendo stick shot to give Duggan two. Back up and AWOL punches a chair into Reno’s face, allowing Duggan to slam AWOL through the table for the pin.

Rating: D-. This is where the relaxed rules get on my nerves. You can almost guarantee that whatever the main event tonight is going to be will have the same thing but I just watched it earlier in the show with two big lumbering power guys in a nothing match. Given where ECW was at this point, do you really want to be copying their business model?

Midajah is talking to Mike Sanders.

Sting is dedicated to WCW. That’s an understatement.

Here’s Mike Sanders for a chat. The Thrillers had a great night on Monday and won a bunch of titles with Sanders himself winning the Cruiserweight Titles on his own. It was all due to Russo of course, who is a complete genius. We see Luger sitting in the crowd again, which makes me wonder what the point was in having him do a match last week if he was just going to do the same thing he started the angle doing with no real explanation.

Sanders talks about Goldberg’s match at Halloween Havoc but doesn’t actually say who he’s fighting. Kronik comes out and teases High Times on Mike but lets him down gently. Sanders says these are two monsters to Goldberg’s one, which the announcers think means Goldberg vs. Kronik at the pay per view. Oh man you mean no Goldberg vs. Hard Work Bobby Walker? No buys.

Elix Skipper thinks he should get a rematch for the Cruiserweight Title.

Jung Dragons vs. Scott Steiner

Gah don’t they have some local jobbers to bring in instead? Like a young Samoa Joe or something? Stevie wants to kill Steiner for what he did to Booker. Yang’s martial arts and rapid fire punches have no effect to start as Scott clotheslines him down. A gorilla press sends Yang outside and a double team goes just as badly. All three get suplexed and something like a super Angle Slam makes things even worse. Leia Meow chokes Midajah as Scott Recliners Jamie and Kaz for the submission to complete the total squash.

Konnan is brought into Sanders’ office because he has immigration issues, meaning he’s not allowed to work tonight. Actually he isn’t allowed to leave this office because he’s a flight risk. Konnan says he’s an American citizen and can produce the paperwork he needs. That’s not good enough because he needs to have them on him at all times. Well that would be a very different story today.

Juvy and Rey love this best of five series and send Tygress off to get Konnan’s papers. Well at least he does carry them. She goes off right before Shane Douglas comes in to lay them out with a pipe and rant about Sting. That’s almost guaranteed to be the main event tonight.

After a break, Konnan checks on his downed buddies.

Mike Awesome talks to Crowbar about being a chick magnet. Crowbar is of course dressed like a pimp.

Video on Goldberg.

Stevie Ray is tired of all this Lex Luger stuff so he goes up to him for a little Suckas Gots To Know. Luger talks about watching all these no-names wrestle in his company, which brings him to General Rection. Last week Rection was just a prop and he’ll never be able to touch Luger. Cue Rection for a brawl which goes nowhere.

Kronik says they’re up for sale to the highest bidder. Ah yes the APA ripoff era.

Cruiserweight Title: Mike Sanders vs. Lance Storm

Storm is challenging. We get the full on Canadian national anthem, complete with the flag superimposed over Storm’s face, as this show continues to drag. Sanders charges to the ring and it’s on in a hurry. A dropkick puts Mike down early on but he comes back with a nice pumphandle suplex. Some suplexes get two for Storm but Reno pulls Sanders out to the floor for a save.

They fight to the apron with Storm DDTing Sanders as the Canadians and Thrillers fight on the floor. Storm takes Sanders back inside and puts on the Maple Leaf but Gunns rings the bell early for a distraction. Thankfully the camera was already on her and waiting for the plot device, making sure that nothing seemed realistic whatsoever. Storm yells at her but Rection comes out to throw Storm back inside for a rollup to retain Sanders’ title.

Rating: D+. So the Canadians are faces now? They’re certainly acting like faces who have been screwed out of titles and wrestle like good guys, but at the same time they’re holding Major Gunns, a face in theory, hostage. I know the theory is that everyone has shades of gray and not everyone is a clear face or heel but it’s really not making me interested. Instead it’s making me wonder what their motivation is because it doesn’t make sense from week to week.

It’s time for the sitdown interview with MIA. Rection gets annoyed at Tenay for not getting their names right before going on a rant about how there’s nothing good in sports entertainment. They’re only here because they love wrestling and do everything together, including sleep together. They all agree that they do everything together, which includes fighting Team Canada.

Apparently the Duggans and the Rections are friends and the General’s kids are asking why Uncle Jim did these things. There’s a lame comedy sketch to be made of Jim Duggan and General Rection having a barbecue together. They’ll be ready for Halloween Havoc. Tenay wasn’t a jerk here which is a very nice change of pace and hopefully a sign of things to come.

Tag Team Titles: Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak vs. Mike Awesome/Crowbar

Awesome and Crowbar are challenging with Crowbar declaring themselves two wild and crazy guys ala the Saturday Night Live sketch. Mike has to show him how to say it properly and they’re getting worse and worse with these ripoffs every week. Jindrak side slams Crowbar to start and brings in O’Haire who eats a nice dropkick. Awesome comes in to slap the champ in the face. So he’s a fat chick loving 70s guy who slaps people. This would be roughly six months after he debuted as a killer. The powers of Vince Russo everyone.

Mike remembers that he’s Mike Awesome and kicks O’Haire in the face before throwing him down with a German Suplex. Crowbar comes back in with a springboard splash before it’s back to Mark off a blind tag. The champs take over with some clotheslines and a double shoulderblock. They may not have the most in depth offenses but at least they look good doing the basics. Crowbar grabs a quick suplex but goes up top instead of tagging, allowing Jindrak to hit a hurricanrana, followed by a Seanton Bomb.

Everything breaks down and Awesome actually gets a tag (nice rules following for a change, though I guess the tagging isn’t included on the list of relaxed rules) and hits the Awesome Bomb and Awesome Splash for two on Mark. That’s enough wrestling though so here’s a table but Crowbar breaks up the double powerbomb with a double low blow to save his partner. Crowbar grabs a reverse DDT, only to get thrown through the table to retain the titles.

Rating: C+. There’s your match of the night as they made the thing work by just working hard out there. It’s always annoying to see someone like Russo come in and ruin everything by putting in so many stupid ideas that the wrestlers get bogged down. This however was more about four guys working to make the match work and it was entertaining stuff. Oh and a table just because.

Buff Bagwell arrives.

Clip of David Flair tormenting Buff on Monday before taking a Blockbuster.

Halloween Havoc video.

Here’s Buff to address the Stacy issues. Apparently Stacy, with her high Midi-chlorian count, got herself pregnant, because Buff always wears his stuff when he goes “there”. This brings out David Flair and a “doctor” (read as he’s wearing a white coat and has a stethoscope) to do a DNA test on Buff. Apparently the guy wants to give Buff a little prick, as in a blood sample, but the audio is censored anyway. Buff says he’s afraid of needles and then punches both guys out before leaving, telling David to figure this out. I think he just tried to Buff and you punched him in the face. That’s quite the mixed message.

Shane Douglas vs. Sting

You know, this actually sounds intriguing. I mean, not exactly in 2000 but a few years back this could have been something. Before the match, Shane talks about having a date with greatness and a job to do. Also, Torrie isn’t sure why this place smells so bad but thinks that everyone hates her because they’ll never be her. After a promise of something special for Shane back at the hotel, we’re ready to go. During Sting’s entrance, Tony starts hyping up the double Nitro/Thunder tapings, which should be some glorious disasters.

Sting sends Shane into the barricade to start as the announcers break the news of Booker vs. Steiner for the title at Halloween Havoc. The fight heads into the crowd to make sure we don’t need to see any real wrestling early on. They head back to ringside with Sting hitting Douglas in the back with a chair but Torrie offers a distraction to change things around.

We hit an abdominal stretch as the announcers talk about Torrie turning into a much more dangerous person on the outside. So she’s gone from a hot blonde there as eye candy to a hot blonde there as eye candy who trips people. That’s not quite a HHH and company level of Evolution. It’s more like that David Duchovny movie from 2001. Remember that? That’s how much Torrie has evolved.

Shane crotches Sting against the post and loads up a table in the corner as the announcers actually cover the relaxed rules over the last six months. My goodness this has been a long six months. Sting sends him through the table for a counter but Shane pulls out a chain to block the Stinger Splash. Konnan comes out to kidnap the highly evolved Torrie as Sting shrugs off FOUR CHAIN SHOTS TO THE HEAD. Instead it’s Jeff Jarrett coming in to knock Sting out with the guitar, setting up the Franchiser for the pin.

Rating: D. To recap: a breakaway guitar and a really bad looking jawbreaker knocked Sting cold but four punches to the head with a chain wrapped around the fist of a professional athlete who wanted to hurt Sting as badly as he could didn’t even knock him off his feet. I kind of liked Tony talking about the relaxed rules to make sure people knew what was going on. You know, the four new viewers WCW might have drawn that night in case they were too drunk to change the channel.

Overall Rating: D. You can kind of feel Russo’s influence waning a bit here. First and foremost, there were five matches on this show. Not eight, not ten, but five. Of those five, only one wasn’t long enough to rate and that was a squash. On top of that, a lot of the stories felt less complicated. Case in point: the stories were about the wrestlers, not the writer who is injecting himself into things because he feels like it. The show is still bad, but if you take away a lot of the insanity and the really stupid stuff, the wrestling will seem a lot better and can start to carry the show for a change.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #260
Date: October 2, 2000
Location: Cow Palace, San Francisco, California
Attendance: 2,666
Commentators: Mark Madden, Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone

Tonight is the night. After several months, if not years, of waiting we FINALLY get to see what the wrestling world has been waiting for: Mike Tenay is getting in the ring for a match. Yes indeed. Somehow, this is the point we’ve reached. We also might find out something about the fate of the World Title and Russo has a surprise for Goldberg on top of it, but Tenay is wrestling tonight. Let’s get to it.

On a side note, check out the attendance. Back in February 1998, the same arena did 12,620 for SuperBrawl VIII. Earlier in 2000, also at the Cow Palace, they drew 8,569 for SuperBrawl X. In six months they’ve lost about 6,000 fans and in two and a half years they’ve lost 10,000 fans. In two and a half years, 10,000 have decided that they don’t want to waste their money on WCW anymore.

That’s ignoring the fact that those were pay per views, meaning this show was likely cheaper. Also, less than 2,000 of these tickets were actually paid. If you want to see (arguably) the biggest reason why WCW died, there it is: people stopped coming to see it. If San Francisco, which wasn’t even a major city for them, has shed 10,000 paying fans in less than three years, how bad do you think it is around the country? On top of THAT, how bad do you think the arena is going to look with a minimum of 10,000 empty seats?

Here are the Filthy Animals with the Disqo Duck. After Konnan suggests that Disqo has been, ahem, enjoying one of the Duck’s holes, Konnan wants to hang the Duck above the ring and have a ladder match RIGHT NOW. Madden: “It’s duck season, not wabbit season.”

Konnan/Rey Mysterio vs. Boogie Knights

That would be Disqo/Alex Wright of course. The announcers sound terrified that they could possibly be called the Boogie Knights in a semi-funny bit. This is a ladder match with Wright springboarding in to take over, allowing Disqo to crush Konnan with the ladder in the corner. Rey comes in with a Thesz Press using the ladder and puts the Knights inside and underneath said ladder, setting up an Atomic Arabian Facebuster to crush both guys.

The double Nutcracker Suite keeps the Knights down and Rey flip dives over the top to take Alex out. A Last Dance allows Disqo to climb (Hudson: “A last chance for the duck snatch!”) but Rey takes him down with a sunset bomb. Konnan climbs up and gets the Duck for the win in less than five minutes.

Rating: D+. So the match is four and a half minutes, the Knights lose their first match, AND THEY WERE FIGHTING OVER A DUCK. What am I supposed to say to this? Madden making duck puns was the most entertaining thing in the match. As in him saying the Knights were “mallardjusted” and losing as a result. That’s your highlight here.

Post match the Knights beat the Animals down with the Duck.

David Flair brings in a man wearing a hood and bound by handcuffs. Tonight the man is going to confess, which presumably means he’s the father.

Russo, now out of his neck brace, says he’s not an athlete so he’s relinquishing the World Title. That means we’re getting a title match tonight between Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner for the vacant belt. As for Goldberg, he showed what a coward he was last week and he’s lucky that Russo didn’t file charges for assault. This brings Goldberg to the ring to call out Russo, who says he’s got plans. Hopefully those plans involve actually looking at the camera instead of being just a few inches off like he was in the promo.

Cue Russo in a Popemobile (with Borash driving) as Goldberg plows through security. Russo wants Goldberg to feel his pain so he’s got an idea. Starting tonight, Goldberg has to break his streak of 176-0 to get another shot at the World Title. If he loses once, he’s out of WCW. Goldberg goes after Borash and finds the keys but cue Meng to attack Goldberg with the Death Grip. Russo announces Meng as Goldberg’s first opponent for later tonight.

Now this is an idea I can get behind a bit more than most of Russo’s nonsense because there’s an actual plot. You can see where this should go over the next few months with a clear hero and villain. In other words, things are a bit calmer and in theory, Goldberg will get his hands on Russo at some point. Unfortunately that’s something so rare in WCW that it’s really hard to get behind it.

Russo says he’s leaving tonight so Mike Sanders is in charge. Sanders leaves the room and Russo tells Borash to keep an eye on Mike tonight.

Actor Chuck Zito is out for commentary.

Hardcore Title; Sgt. AWOL vs. Reno

The title is vacant coming in. AWOL knocks Reno out of the air with a trashcan to start and it’s already time for a chair. Reno comes back and goes after Zito for no apparent reason before pounding on AWOL even more. Cue Big Vito to cane Reno, allowing AWOL to chokeslam Reno through a table for the pin and the title.

Post match here’s Sanders to say that Reno is champion due to the interference.

The Cat has announced that Booker T. and Sting are the top two contenders instead of Jarrett and Steiner.

David has handcuffed the hooded guy to a dressing room rack. The hooded guy has some very large arms.

Here are Shane and Torrie to talk about being the real first couple of wrestling. Torrie wants to see Shane in action and it’s time for a match.

Shane Douglas vs. Mike Awesome

Shane takes him right into the corner to start but Mike takes the fight to the floor. Lex Luger, who wrestled a match on Thunder, is sitting in the crowd as a fan. Awesome loads up a table (three matches so far and we’ve had a ladder and back to back tables) and tries for the Awesome Bomb, only to have Torrie open her top to show off a skin colored swimsuit top. The distraction lets Shane grab the Franchiser for the pin.

Tygress goes after Torrie post match and Konnan has to run out to save her from Shane.

Jarrett and Steiner want Sanders to fix this thing with Booker and Sting. Nash and the Thrillers come in and don’t say much.

Nash tries to give Sanders a pep talk to go after the Cat.

Video on Meng.

Meng says (yes says) that Goldberg dies tonight. Apparently if he loses, he’s out of WCW too.

Sanders has fixed things somehow.

Meng vs. Goldberg

Slugout, Meng misses a kick, spear, Jackhammer, pin in less than 40 seconds.

Goldberg says that’s #1 but here’s Kronik to beat Goldberg down. High Times plants him and apparently some souls have been sold.

Sanders’ solution: Steiner/Sting vs. Booker/Jarrett with the winning team facing each other for the title later tonight.

David pours water on the hooded guy. You can see the same rope tattoo that Buff Bagwell has on his arm.

Jeff Jarrett/Booker T. vs. Sting/Scott Steiner

Sting and Jarrett get things going with Sting avoiding a monkey flip attempt and hitting Jeff in the chest. The running bulldog sets up the Stinger Splash but a poke to the eye breaks up the Scorpion. It’s off to Booker vs. Steiner with Scott bailing to the floor as we’re already stalling. Back in and Steiner pounds him down until Booker hits a quick kick to the face.

Now it’s off to Sting vs. Booker to make things a bit more interesting. Booker’s headlock is countered with a hiptoss before it’s Sting grabbing a headlock of his own. This is straight out of the totally average match they had at Spring Stampede but the announcers called it amazing anyway. Steiner low bridges Booker out to the floor, only to get beaten down by Jarrett as things get weird again.

Things settle back down with Steiner clotheslining Booker and dropping the elbow. Booker gets tied up in the Tree of Woe but pops out like a daisy from the snow, setting up a spinebuster on Scott. Jeff comes in to stay on Steiner (still odd to see), only to get caught in a spinning belly to belly. Scott rolls over and makes the hot tag off to Sting as everything breaks down. The announcers try to figure out who is legal as Booker ax kicks Steiner. The side kick hits the referee (because of course) and Jarrett guitars Sting for the pin and the title match later.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t the worst thing in the world as it had more time but the match was the usual brawling mess that they usually have. Above all else though, it’s clear that the wrestlers can go more than two minutes, which makes you wonder why they never do. My best guess: Vince Russo hates wrestling and has no idea how to make it actually work.

Cruiserweight Title: Elix Skipper vs. Mike Sanders

Skipper is ticked off that he has to face Sanders after Nash made fun of him last week (by calling Beetlejuice Elix). Skipper wants to fight Nash at the same time so here are all of the Thrillers. Nash has spent the last 45 minutes telling Beetlejuice that he’s sorry for calling him Skipper. We’re still not ready to go because Sanders has some rules. First of all, Team Canada is banned from ringside. Second, you have to win this match with a powerbomb. Third, let’s just make this a handicap match for fun.

Nash hits Elix in the head with a microphone and we’re ready to go. Sanders gets backdropped out of a powerbomb attempt and Elix kicks him in the head. Did I miss Team Canada turning face? Skipper covers for no count because there’s no powerbomb. That’s enough for Nash as he comes in and decks Skipper before talking about how these kids need to stop taking spots from the veterans.

As he’s talking, Elix goes to the top for a really long missile dropkick before hammering away on Nash. We look at Luger in the crowd again and miss Nash taking over again. Nash doesn’t like Skipper calling himself a Canadian so it’s a powerbomb to give Sanders the title. I’m not going to rate this due to how much of it was spent on miniature Nash promos but as usual it was an angle disguised as a match.

Goldberg tries to leave but Terry Taylor tells him that he has another match tonight.

Nash goes to take a shower when Team Canada jumps the Thrillers from behind. Lance Storm and Jim Duggan have the Thrillers cowering in all of ten seconds because that’s what WCW thinks of those guys.

Goldberg vs. Harris Brothers

A spear and a Jackhammer give Goldberg two pins in thirty seven seconds, as in two seconds faster than he beat Meng.

The Thrillers are begging Nash for help, even though the simple answer would seem to be BEAT THE CANADIANS TO A PULP BECAUSE THERE ARE ONLY TWO OF THEM RIGHT NOW.

The World Title match will now be a 49ers match. There will be a box at each corner with the belt in one of them. Whoever finds it is the champion. So the title is being decided in a scavenger hunt. Also note that the other three boxes will have weapons. Remember that.

David Flair brings out the guy in a hood. Flair slaps him in the head a few times and promises to embarrass him before removing the handcuffs. As expected, the guy immediately stands up and takes off the hood to reveal that it’s Buff Bagwell. The beating is quickly on and Buff scores with a Blockbuster before leaving.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Jeff Jarrett

The title is vacant coming in. Jarrett has no guitar and it’s actually really strange to not see it. They head outside to start with Jeff taking over. It’s already time for the first box and it’s…..a blowup doll. Yeah here we go. Booker comes back with a side slam and goes for another box which has a picture of Scott Hall. That’s actually used as a weapon as the picture is smashed over Jeff’s head, leaving him next to the doll.

Booker goes for a third box but Jeff sends him outside for a save. Jeff gets smart by hitting him in the head with a box but can’t get a piledriver. Instead Booker grabs one of his own onto the announcers’ table which doesn’t break in an always scary looking sight. That means it’s time to open the third box, which contains a glove.

There’s nothing special about the glove (it looks like one you might use while working in your yard) but the announcers declare it a coal miner’s glove, meaning it would be weighted. You know what? Well done by them for trying to make this even the slightest bit serious. Russo clearly isn’t going to give them anything to work with so it’s nice to see them trying to do it themselves.

Jeff takes Booker down and grabs the glove, though you have to wonder why he isn’t going after the only box left which must contain the title. A glove shot to the ribs allows Jarrett to pose before breaking another box over Booker’s head instead of going for the box. Booker pops back up for the save, only to eat a gloved shot to the jaw.

Jeff STILL won’t go up so it’s time for a sleeper. To be fair, Booker was up quickly after the shot to the jaw, which shows another problem of the match: the guys have been fighting over the glove like it means something but they can’t decide if it knocks the other guy out or not. Booker easily fights out of the sleeper and grabs one of his own, only to get suplexed down.

Back up and Jeff tries a top rope glove shot to the head but dives into a Bookend. Jeff makes another save but the Stroke is countered into the ax kick. ANOTHER save keeps us going and Booker’s ax kick hits the ropes. An electric chair out of the corner drops Booker but Jeff STILL WON’T CLIMB. Cue Beetlejuice of all people to hit Jeff low, allowing Booker to get the box down for the win and the title.

Rating: C. This one might require some explanation. Yeah the match sucked, yeah there was a severe lack of logic and yeah there were a ton of holes here, but I don’t put that on the wrestlers. It’s not their fault that they had fifteen minutes to spend on a ridiculous gimmick that the booker clearly wasn’t taking seriously. Maybe this could have gone better had five matches (out of an eight match show) combine to go ten minutes and they didn’t have to stall as long as they did before the ending involving a “celebrity”. This was horrible, but I’m not about to blame that on the guys who were asked to make something out of this disaster.

Post match Steiner comes out to hit Booker with a pipe and put Beetlejuice in the Recliner to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. So Goldberg runs through people to start a new segment (fine enough in theory but I have no reason to believe it works long term) and then the rest of the show is all downhill from there. There’s just way too much insanity at this point and it’s almost impossible to keep track of what’s going on out there. As usual you have gimmicks all over the place, illogical stories and ideas and the old guys being pushed instead of the new talent who could use a rub. The problem continues to be the same thing as always: Vince Russo doesn’t know how to book a wrestling show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: September 20, 2000
Location: Civic Center, Erie, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

We’re in a world where Vince Russo is the #1 contender to the WCW World Title because that’s how things are supposed to go around here. Odds are tonight is going to be about setting up that huge showdown on Monday with Russo getting some MANLY promos or maybe even a quick MANLY match. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Nitro highlights.

Here’s Russo, flanked by security, to get things going, complete with the black paint under his eyes that football players wear. Stevie is groaning louder than usual over this and thinks he’s going to be sick. Russo talks about being ready to be champion in five days and knowing that Booker needs tonight off because he’s a street thug and the visiting team on Monday.

As for tonight though, Vince wants to have a warmup match so he calls out Stevie Ray. This brings Stevie up from commentary but Russo doesn’t want to see him. That’s quite the quick plot change. As part of his new character, Tenay says that if Stevie leaves, it means more time for Tony and himself to talk. Stevie walks around the side of the ramp as per Russo’s orders, leaving Russo to rant about Booker as Jarrett and Steiner arrive.

Steiner beats up the security and maces Russo before yelling about how he wants his title shot. Russo says they can have a triple threat against Sting later and then have all the title shots they want. Apparently Russo made Steiner (no) and Jarrett (ok yeah he kind of did), which is enough to make Russo run off, only to have Sting and Booker come in for the brawl.

Jeremy Borash takes Stevie’s place and is now shilling for Russo.

Jung Dragons vs. Natural Born Thrillers

Sanders/Jindrak/O’Haire. It’s Hayashi vs. Sanders to get things going for some armdrags and right hands before it’s off to Yang and O’Haire. Sean blocks a sunset flip because he’s a big guy and Yang is a rather small man by comparison. It’s off to Jindrak to throw Yang down with a Samoan Drop before Sean drops the Seanton. Jamie comes in off the top with a guillotine legdrop for the save at two though, meaning they’re actually not squashing the Dragons just yet. That doesn’t mean they’re being treated all that well though as Sanders has jumped in on commentary because the Dragons just aren’t a big threat.

Jamie tries to DDT the two guys actually in the ring but Jindrak plants him with a powerbomb. Everything breaks down and Jamie is thrown hard into the barricade as Sanders powerslams Kaz. The Dragons’ manager Leia Meow is whipping Jamie for taking his beating, followed by hitting a top rope seated senton for the pin on Sanders. The referee is just fine with this of course.

Rating: D+.What did the Thrillers do to tick this company off? In a few days now they’ve gotten beaten up by a retired Orndorff, Tygress and now the Jung Dragons. I mean, I know they were actually getting somewhere so in WCW that’s probably the right time to knock them back down the ladder and use them as a way to give Nash an angle.

Disqo is in the back with the Cat and Ms. Jones, the latter of whom throws his duck on the ground.

Russo tells a masked guy to sell for him later.

Disqo suggests Rey vs. Juvy in a #1 contenders match for the Cruiserweight Title later tonight. Again, how does he have this kind of authority?

It’s time for the Lava Lamp Lounge with the contestants in the Miss Nitro competition on Monday. Torrie is going first but Major Gunns cuts her off to talk about how large her chest is. Paisley and Tygress talk a bit and the fact that Awesome might be a judge makes thing even worse. It turns into a catfight with two Nitro Girls coming out to argue as well. The set is trashed again and Awesome is ticked off. So we’ve seen the Thrillers lose and Mike Awesome used to put over a swimsuit contest while Vince Russo is #1 contender.

Scott Steiner promises to win tonight.

There’s going to be a battle royal for the vacant Tag Team Titles on Monday. So far we have Kronik and Mysterio/Guerrera confirmed.

Vince Russo vs. Masked Heel

Russo has his helmet on, which is pretty low level protection after having brain surgery like two weeks ago. The Heel is introduced as an international shoot champion and a 28 time Olympian. His shirt says THE MASKED HEEL and he comes out to the Leave it to Beaver theme that Booker had to use earlier in the year or whenever that was. Russo chops him in the corner a few times and we get the Hogan hand to the ear. Borash is going on like Cole went on about Miz in a kind of funny bit.

A big boot mostly misses Heel’s fast and there goes the MANLY shirt for some posing. Russo tries a legdrop but looked like he was missing a dropkick instead. The Heel pops to his feet and starts no selling, including a spear bouncing off of him. The mask comes off and of course it’s Stevie Ray with a slap jack to Russo’s ribs. He’ll leave now though so Booker can have a piece on Monday. Therefore, Russo wins via DQ/countout or it’s a no contest, meaning he is STILL undefeated! My but that’s MANLY!

Post break, Russo sends Kronik after Stevie Ray. Do they follow his orders now?

Konnan approves of Disqo’s idea.

Paisley vs. Torrie Wilson

Kwee Wee and Shane are in on commentary for what could be rather entertaining if Kwee Wee is allowed to be himself. The match is of course a disaster of a catfight with Torrie shoving Paisley’s leg away, which draws Shane away from the five man booth for some reason. The guys brawl and Paisley rolls Torrie up for the pin.

Shane gives Paisley the Franchiser so here’s Tygress to jump on his back. Konnan has to come out for the save with his rolling clothesline, which Tenay calls a DDT because his spirit has been broken.

Russo and Sanders are talking in the back.

Here’s Team Canada with something to say. After a quick speech from Storm on how we should all join Canada, Duggan blames the American fans for his recent change of heart. With that, it’s time to burn the American flag. Cue the Misfits who are beaten down because Storm has a flag and Duggan has a big board, but the powers of a sex pun turn the tide. Rection tries to save the flag but Duggan beats him down instead, leaving the General to cover the flag with his body as he takes a beating.

Sanders puts a forklift in front of Booker’s door. Clearly he was the only man in the building capable of doing this and not like, a forklift driver or something.

Jarrett guarantees a win tonight.

Kronik vs. Stevie Ray

Stevie is still in the Masked Heel shirt. Borash: “Suckas are kinda curious about how this match is going to go.” Tags are required so Stevie pounds on Clark to no avail as we get things going. A good looking bicycle kick puts Clark down for two but Adams comes in to help out on a double elbow to take over.

Kronik shoulders him down as the announcers try to figure out if Adams and Clark are working for Russo or not. Stevie hits the slap jack but can’t hit the Slap Jack. Adams picks Stevie off with the full nelson slam and they load up High Time onto the chair, only to kick the chair away in a show of mercy. The regular High Time is enough for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was exactly what you would have been expecting, which is to say a match longer than it should have been (just over three minutes) and nothing interesting. Kronik having shades of gray isn’t a good idea either, especially if it leads to a double turn with the Harris Twins because one set of heel monsters is enough.

Remember that forklift in front of Booker’s door? It’s still there.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

Russo yells at Kronik for not using the chair. The pair of giants’ response? Nothing of course.

Rey Mysterio vs. Juventud Guerrera

Remember when this was one of the best matches in WCW? Why did they stop with that? The winner gets a title shot at some point in the future. Konnan and Tygress sit in on commentary (of course) with Konnan going into an actually interesting history about how Mexico has a lot of different weight classes and how successful these two have been. They go to a knuckle lock to start and do the now standard series of flips into a double cover with both guys bridging up for the save.

Juvy scores with a DDT for the first real advantage and the guys are suddenly mad at each other. A double clothesline puts both of them down but it’s Juvy up first with a springboard spinning dropkick to send Rey outside. Juvy follows with a slingshot dive (Konnan: “Also called a pescado.” When did Konnan turn into the best commentator in WCW?) but gets powerbombed back inside. The Bronco Buster crushes Juvy as Konnan says Disqo has officially been thrown off the team. A nice spinning ankle scissors sends Juvy to the floor and Rey hits a dive of his own.

Back in and Rey springboards into a HARD sitout powerbomb for two. Rey landed on the back of his head there and it looked bad. Juvy’s springboard splash gets two and Rey grabs a bridging rollup for the same. Back up and Rey tries a standing Lionsault which is caught in the Juvy Driver for another near fall. Rey gets in a powerbomb of his own but Juvy flips him into a sunset flip for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B. You can’t go back to what you had with these two that easily but it was nice to see a flashback for a single night. I’m not sure what’s going on lately with Thunder but they’re actually letting us have the occasional good, clean match which shows how good the roster still can be. Unfortunately that makes it even harder to sit through how bad things really are as you know they can do better.

Disqo comes in post match and gets beaten down by the team.

Sting is ready for the triple threat.

3 Count vs. Harris Brothers

The beating is quickly on because the Harris Brothers are the real stars here and 3 Count can do whatever they want and actually have characters but it doesn’t mean anything because there’s nothing for them to do in WCW. On a side note: Ron is growing his hair out. That makes him so much more interesting by default. The H Bomb takes Shannon out but here are Kronik and the Thrillers to turn this into a preview of the battle royal and throw the match out.

This week’s interview is with Stacy Keibler and this week’s creepy Tenay line is when he asks if she needs a second hand to count all the people that she cheated with. Of course it was only one but Stacy won’t say who it is. Tenay actually thinks he could have gotten Stacy, “if it weren’t for the fact that I’m a married man with morals.” Stacy insists it wasn’t Ric Flair and leaves. Tenay: “Boy, she’s gonna make a great mother.”

The forklift is moved.

Scott Steiner vs. Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

Russo is out for commentary. Before the match, Steiner insults Goldberg, Booker, and Booker’s mama. If there is one thing you don’t do, it’s insult Mr. T.’s mother. It’s a brawl to start of course with Sting getting the better of it early on. Steiner comes back with a belly to belly though as Russo hijacks commentary to talk about his title match being inside Caged Heat. Oh yeah they’re building up on those swerves.

The heels double team Sting and here’s Booker T. in Sting gear. By gear I mean a singlet and a Sting mask with nothing else hiding his identity. Booker starts cleaning house with signature Sting stuff (and the referee is too stupid to notice the difference you see) until we get a Spinarooni. Sting comes back in and puts Russo in the Deathlock, only to have Jarrett hit Sting with the guitar…..AND THAT’S A DQ???

Rating: D. Nothing match but they’ve actually made WCW referees look even dumber than they already were. This company continues to make my head hurt as they do one stupid thing after another, such as Booker wearing a Sting mask being enough to fool the referee. Of course it doesn’t really matter as the announcers were focusing on Caged Heat being announced for Monday because it’s all about Russo.

Jarrett and Steiner put on their submissions to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Mysterio vs. Guerrera aside, this was the latest mess that focused WAY too much on Russo and had too many plot holes going on that stopped making sense. Booker being trapped was fine, but why in the world did Booker dress up like Sting? What did that change or enhance whatsoever, aside from making WCW look stupid? Bad show for the most part, but the worst is of course still yet to come.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: September 13, 2000
Location: Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

It’s the final show before Fall Brawl and as usual they’re having issues setting up the pay per view because the bigger priority is building up the TV shows. Monday saw Scott Steiner attach Goldberg to a bus which didn’t work because that’s the kind of thing you set up and blow off in all of a minute. Let’s get to it.

We open with Miss Jones on the phone with Cat, who is assured that everything is fine. Cue Jarrett to take the phone and say not quite before kidnapping Jones. As usual, women are objects and plot devices on these shows.

David Flair is freaking out about the idea that various men might be the father of the baby. Does David actually wrestle anymore? I can’t remember the last match he actually had.

Here are Nash, Jarrett and Steiner to open things up. Nash brags about making the fans buy into the swerve on Monday and I have issues remembering which one it was. They tend to run together when you have one every single week. He’s also ready for the cage match on Sunday, which they haven’t exactly given a ton of focus. Steiner brags about having sex with a lot of women and talks about how big his arms are. Jeff makes Jones lay down (shocking) for a five count and threatens a guitar shot.

This brings out the recently arrived Cat along with Booker, the latter of whom gives out his lame catchphrases. Cat makes a tag match for later with Nash/Steiner vs. Cat/Booker where whoever gets the fall gets the title. Jarrett only gets Sting, which prompts Jeff to guitar Dave Penzer for whatever reason.

Disqo has booked the Filthy Animals in a non-title match against Kronik and the Harris Brothers. Why he would do that isn’t exactly clear, but he thinks it could get them the #1 ranking in WOW Magazine.

Thunder Tailgate Party video.

An angry Mike Awesome arrives. I’d be mad too. He’s in a leisure suit and Justin Credible is the top heel in ECW.

Disqo has also booked himself and Konnan against Jindrak/O’Haire, but Konnan isn’t clear to wrestle. Therefore, Tygress is getting the spot. Well of course she is.

Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire vs. Disqo Inferno/Tygress

Before the match, Sanders introduces Johnny the Bull as the newest Thriller. Johnny really enjoyed beating Vito down and is horrible at this whole talking thing. Disqo starts with Sean and thankfully the rookie cleans his clock, which unfortunately means it’s off to Tygress, drawing a big rant from Tenay about how women don’t belong here. That’s just so against anything he’s said for years and really comes off as the writers not knowing how character development works. You don’t just slap characteristics on people and assume they work.

The Thrillers literally throw Tygress back and forth in the air as Disqo runs off to get help. You know, instead of helping himself. Jindrak tries to give Tygress a Bronco Buster but that’s a bit too much even for WCW, so she hits a Bronco Buster of her own. That earns her a sitout powerbomb, followed by the Seanton Bomb for the pin. Total squash of course.

The Animals finally come back out (why they weren’t there in the first place isn’t clear) but get beaten down by the Thrillers.

David beats up a referee for suggesting that he’d brag about sleeping with Ms. Hancock.

Team Canada teaches Major Gunns to speak Canadian. I think you can write the jokes yourselves, even though Storm really wouldn’t seem likely to do something like that.

Sting is annoyed at not being in the main event recently as even he’s forgotten WarGames. Therefore, he’d like a title shot against Booker on Nitro if Booker gets the title back. That’s rather forward of him.

Disqo has to defend himself from the Animals blaming him for the loss.

It’s time for the Lava Lamp Lounge with special guest Major Gunns. So if Storm didn’t let her out there, would he really just have screwed up the entire segment? That’s not the nicest way to help international relations. Awesome gets straight to hitting on her as Gunns goes on a rant about how much she hates being around Lance Storm. Mike suggests a massage so here’s Team Canada for the brawl with Awesome throwing Skipper around with ease.

Cue the MIA to say Gunns needs to come back home. Storm agrees and offers a tag match with Duggan/Rection vs. Team Canada with Gunns on the line. What’s in it for the Canadians isn’t clear but they’re kind of odd at times. That’s it for the show but a janitor lays out Awesome and of course it’s Jarrett. Much like the other major matches, I’m not entirely sure why they’re fighting at this point or why we’re going to see them in a hardcore match but I’m sure a guy dressing up as a janitor and breaking a guitar over a 70s enthusiast in a leisure suit who hits on every woman he can find will sell itself.

More Tailgate Party stuff.

Rection asks Duggan to be his partner in the tag match later. Dang it’s lucky that Duggan was just sitting there in case someone needed a tag match for AMERICA.

Steiner and Nash charge a kid $60 for a picture with Steiner covering the kid’s face. Simple idea but kind of a needless segment.

Here are Shane and Torrie (good night) to talk about how awesome the mixed tag scaffold match is going to be. Unfortunately he spoils it by promising everyone a full refund if his team loses. This brings out Madusa and Billy Kidman because we’re getting a preview right now.

Shane Douglas/Torrie Wilson vs. Madusa/Billy Kidman

Shane takes Madusa to the mat with a lot less difficulty than he should have but Kidman is chasing Torrie around, drawing Shane to the floor for a save. That’s already enough as the match is thrown out in a hurry, so at least they didn’t waste much of Sunday’s THRILLING scaffold match.

Kidman goes after Torrie again and knocks her over a balcony, giving us the most obvious action movie shot I’ve ever seen in wrestling with Torrie hanging off a balcony to save herself. Just go make B movies already as it’s clear what they want to do.

Post break, Kidman and Madusa rant about the scaffold match.

Your weekly sitdown interview is with Ric Flair and it’s fully storyline stuff here with the first questions being about the wedding and Hancock’s announcement. Ric talks about how screwy things have been lately due to the efforts of Vince Russo but then they were in an arena for a wedding to a great woman. He and David bonded again and Ric had everything he wanted again. Tenay doesn’t seem to buy this but Ric isn’t going to be intimidated. “You’re not talking to Midajah here.”

Ric lists off some of the people he’s wrestled and doesn’t like the idea that Tenay stopped after the 1980s. That brings Tenay back to Ric vs. Russo, who got the better of Ric. For some reason Tenay doesn’t buy that but Ric says he’s out of the business because he lost a match where his career was on the line. It was Ric’s fault that he brought his family on TV and let Russo get under his skin but Russo is a snake. Tenay flat out asks if Ric is the father of Hancock’s baby and that’s the end of the interview with Ric walking off after saying Tenay is just like Russo. Well that’s quite the insult.

I really do not want to know where this story was going to go, but the more I think about it, the more I think it was likely to be Russo. Why not? He’s gotten the better of the Flair’s every single time so why not let him do that too? I mean, he can destroy Ric’s career and take over his family so why not have him impregnate one of the most beautiful women in the world too?

Fit Finlay tells David to calm down with all of the questions about who is the father. Why in the world is Finlay not in the ring either?

Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting

This is now 2/3 falls, which could make for a good match if they don’t screw the whole thing up. While Sting is on the way to the ring, Tony brags about Nitro’s ratings from the previous night. As in the 3.2 they got, down from the 3.6 the previous week. Before the match, Jeff tells Sting to forget about the title match because Nash is keeping the title. Instead Sting offers to make this a #1 contenders match, again because they just can. Sting takes him down to start as Stevie talks about Wahoo McDaniel.

The announcers actually bring up Sting vs. Vampiro vs. Muta on Sunday, which is indeed a match despite the lack of discussion over the last few months. A running clothesline puts Jarrett on the floor and it’s time to go to the announcers’ table. Stevie: “THIS IS THE ONLY TABLE WE GOT! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS COMING OVER HERE???” Sting suplexes him up by the stage but Jeff stomps away back inside.

Some clotheslines set up a top rope splash for two on Jeff but the referee gets bumped, setting up a low blow and the Stroke to give Jarrett the first fall. Jeff throws him to the floor but gets caught in a quick sunset flip for the pin to tie it up. The third fall starts with an awkward grappling exchange, followed by the traditional trading of the sleepers. Jeff suplexes out of Sting’s version but gets knocked down, setting up Sting’s falling headbutt.

Back up and Jeff pulls the referee in the way of the Stinger Splash. This brings out a second and Jeff pulls him in the way as well but Sting doesn’t jump. Instead David Flair comes out to hit the referee with a broom stick for his earlier comments, meaning there’s no one to see Jarrett tap to the Deathlock. Not that it matters as Sting tells the timekeeper to ring the bell to end the match.

Rating: C+. This was working until the goofy ending but at least they didn’t screw it up too badly. As usual, Jarrett is at his best when he has someone to carry him to a good match and Sting, despite not being anywhere near his peak anymore, was still one of the better workers on the roster. If nothing else it was nice to see a match get some time for a change and it helped a lot.

The Misfits don’t have much to say.

Kronik vs. Filthy Animals vs. Harris Brothers

Non-title with Disqo on commentary. It’s a brawl between the big guys to start as the Animals just kind of stand back and watch. To be fair they’re above this kind of a match anyway. We settle down to Don hitting Clark low to take over inside but Adams makes the save when the Twins try to use a chain. The Animals get bored of waiting and dropkick Don right into High Times for the quick pin.

Rating: D. As usual, there really wasn’t much of a point to this and the champions, who are fighting the Thrillers on Sunday in a match that is barely getting any mention, were just there. However you can’t do the Twins vs. Kronik here because they’re doing it on Sunday. Why not do something like a singles ma……egads the thought of either Twin vs. Adams or Clark gave me a chill.

Post match the Twins beat Kronik down with a ball bat wrapped in a chain.

Here’s David Flair with something to say. He’s proud that his dad called him a man but at the same time he needs to find out what happened with Stacy and the father of the baby. This brings out Miss Hancock but before anything can be said, it’s Arn Anderson out to interrupt. David needs to chill because women are like buses: they come around every twenty minutes. That’s quite the public transportation system. Right now, all that matters is Stacy knowing who the father is, and Anderson hopes she does.

Jim Duggan is out cold underneath the American flag. I smell collusion.

Team Canada vs. General Rection

No Duggan so only Rection comes out to interrupt the Canadian national anthem. Rection goes after both of them to start before the bell and runs them over just like every hero does in the early stages of a handicap match. Skipper finally takes over with a springboard spinwheel kick though and the heels start in on the ribs to take over.

It’s off to Storm for some elbows to the ribs and that awesome dropkick of his for two. A kick to the face staggers Storm but Skipper gets in a knee to the back, setting up the Maple Leaf. Cue Duggan on a crutch (but no bandage on the head) but he can’t get out in time, meaning Rection taps out.

Rating: D+. Storm’s dropkick was great as always but it’s just not enough to make up for the fact that we’re supposed to get behind a guy named General Rection. Also make sure to ignore the fact that Duggan retired on Monday and is supposed to be back in action with no real explanation two days later. As usual, the wrestlers’ statements mean nothing and we’re supposed to ignore the continuity issues.

Post break, Rection wants a match on Sunday for Gunns and the title. I have no idea why the Canadians would agree with that but as usual, they never actually seem to make sense.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash/Scott Steiner vs. Booker T./The Cat

Nash is defending but anyone can win the title by getting the fall. It’s a brawl to start until Booker and Steiner officially get things going. Nash has to break up an early ax kick attempt so Steiner hits Cat with the title. In theory that should be a DQ but that’s not how WCW works at this point.

Cat pops up way too fast so Nash belts him down again, allowing the villains to take turns on Booker. I really have no idea why you would tag out here but logic isn’t the strongest point in this company. A double clothesline and big boot drop Booker twice in a row before a belly to belly gets two. There’s the Recliner to Booker with Nash making the save, only to have Goldberg come out on a motorcycle for a spear on Steiner, drawing the dreaded no contest to end the show.

Rating: D. Yeah as usual there’s only so much you can do here with a gimmick where it’s pretty clear they’re not switching the title and we’re just waiting on the screwy finish. Goldberg coming in was fine and actually shows a little focus on their match instead of having Steiner chain him to a bus for all of ten seconds or whatever that mess was on Monday.

Overall Rating: D. Nitro and Thunder are in an interesting place right now. The Monday show is a complete train wreck with the focus being on Russo despite him not being there and so many ideas floating around that I forget where the show even started. On the other hand, Thunder is a more coherent show but almost none of it feels like it’s tying in to the main storylines.

That being said, Thunder is the easier show to sit through as it’s not quite as insane, but much like a modern day Smackdown, you lose nothing if you don’t watch it. Fall Brawl is going to be interesting, as if nothing else I can watch the show and find out all the matches on the show because the TV leading up to it has been such a wild mess that I’ve kind of forgotten.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #257
Date: September 11, 2000
Location: Independence Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone, Jeremy Borash

It’s the go home show for Fall Brawl and we’re now back to the build for the pay per view after last week’s stand alone WarGames (in name only) show. Unfortunately that leaves the whole card starting from a dead end as last week had nothing to do with Booker vs. Nash or Steiner vs. Goldberg. Instead, we have a big story of David Flair marrying Miss Hancock and a possible Ric Flair appearance in another stand alone story. Let’s get to it.

David arrived earlier and Crowbar, Ozzy and Daffney greeted him to bury the hatchet. No sign of Ric though.

Jeff Jarrett thinks he should offer some entertainment for the wedding.

Opening sequence.

The arena lighting seems dark, probably to hide a low attendance.

Tag Team Titles: Filthy Animals vs. Kronik

Rey and Juvy are defending. Before the match, Disqo runs his mouth and ticks Kronik off even more after the Animals were laid out on Thunder. It’s a brawl to start as Konnan talks about throwing Rey in quicksand. We settle down to Adams pounding Juvy in the corner and hitting a quick F5, though the landing looked more like a DDT. Rey gets a blind tag and the Animals actually double suplex Adams. That’s quite the surprise but you can only be so shocked when Konnan is talking about no selling and taking bumps.

Clark comes in and plants Juvy with a full nelson slam but Adams gives Rey an even bigger one. Cue the Harris Twins (of course) for a distraction, allowing Disqo to hit Clark with a chair and give him the Last Dance on the floor. Back in and Juvy’s 450 (he hit the mat first) only gets two. Instead it’s the What’s Up with the legdrop (named the Nutcracker) retains the titles.

Rating: C. Such is life in WCW. I was actually starting to get into this until the Twins came in to screw things up. It’s interference to set up a match that isn’t interesting and most people don’t want to see, but for some reason we’re getting the Harris Twins in the top spot instead of ANYONE else. Also, what was up with wasting the 450 near the end?

Stacy Keibler arrives.

Recap of WarGames, complete with the line of “it’s another Russo swerve!”

Tony promises an update on Vince Russo, who has suffered his third concussion in three months. I understand that concussions are bad, but I’m having issues feeling sorry for Russo when he keeps injecting himself into these big matches. He’s getting all the glory in the matches and that comes with the damage. It’s almost like someone of average size shouldn’t be getting destroyed by people the size of pro wrestlers. Apparently Russo has had to have brain surgery. Tony: “Tonight: a wedding and brain surgery.”

Here’s the Cat to say he’s in charge because Russo’s injunction was thrown out of court. Therefore, Booker vs. Nash on Sunday is now in a cage. As for tonight though, Nash is defending the title against Scott Steiner. That leaves Jeff Jarrett, who Miss Jones wants to fight. Jarrett comes out and promises to win and prove that men are superior to women. He’s even willing to wrestle handcuffed. Cat and Jeff start fighting until Steiner comes out to put Cat in the Recliner.

Booker and Sting (without paint) arrive and don’t seem worried that Steiner and Jarrett are taking over.

Big Vito vs. Reno

Stick ball bat on a pole, which is how things go in the neighborhood apparently. It must be one of the slums of Parts Unknown. Palumbo is here with Reno. Vito starts fast with a Japanese armdrag but has to go after Palumbo. A quick suplex drops Reno but the referee gets bumped. Vito grabs the stick, only to have Reno lay him out with the Roll of the Dice for no count. Cue the returning Johnny the Bull to help stand off with the Thrillers, only to turn on Vito (a full THIRTY SECONDS after coming out to defend him), giving Reno the pin.

The rest of the Thrillers come in to beat Vito down. I can’t get over the fact that this is supposed to be a swerve. It really was just thirty seconds.

Cat yells at Booker and Sting for being late but they leave together.

Steiner/Jarrett/Nash say they’re in charge tonight. Booker/Sting/Cat come in with the latter saying he’s in charge.

Madusa says she doesn’t like the women around here even though she trained them. Therefore, tonight she gets to beat up Torrie Wilson.

Torrie Wilson vs. Madusa

The announcers talk about the history of scaffold matches and we actually get a Jim Cornette reference. Madden: “Cornette fell off the scaffold and ended his career. He just doesn’t know it yet.” Madusa beats on her for about twenty seconds before Shane comes in for the DQ.

Post match Shane puts Madusa in an STF (of course) until Kidman comes in for the save. Yeah these two are feuding in case you forgot. Madusa adds herself and Torrie to make it a tag team scaffold match on Sunday. Did they really forget the lessons from Great American Bash 1991?

Crowbar helps David get ready.

Jimmy Hart hands Miss Hancock an envelope.

Mike Awesome shows up in That 70s Bus.

Nash suggests that Steiner lay down for him tonight.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Miss Jones

Apparently Goldberg is going to be enforcer in the World Title match. Jarrett rants about “broads” thinking they can compete with men in this ring. Remember Jeff is going to wrestle handcuffed. Tony: “That means he can’t use the Stroke or the guitar.” Yeah the guitar is illegal here, meaning it’s legal otherwise. Cat gets in a few cheap shots before the bell and Jones hammers away, only to kick the referee low by mistake. Jeff kicks her in the ribs to break up a guitar shot before knocking her out with it for the pin.

See, if they actually wanted to go with something interesting here, have the trained wrestler Madusa fight Jarrett in what could be an entertaining match. Instead, we get another woman getting beaten up with little to no defense.

Anyway post match, Awesome comes out to beat up the still handcuffed Jarrett.

Nash is drawing his plan on a dry erase board. After some jokes about anatomy, Steiner thinks he should win and throws a marker. Just have them SWERVE us already so they can laugh.

Post break, Jarrett is annoyed at Nash for not coming down to help him (Nash and Steiner had said they were turning off the monitor so it’s not a huge issue). Jarrett tells Nash to deal with their stupid friend.

Here’s Jim Duggan with something to say. Duggan is so thankful to have gotten through cancer and is glad to be back here with the fans. However, in the last few weeks, he’s been realizing that he can’t beat Father Time. He’s been around for twenty years and unlike some people, he’s fine with stepping aside so the young talent can make wrestling into something we can all be proud of.

Duggan announces his retirement before talking about how he needs someone to take up the 2×4 and the American flag. That man is General Rection and there goes the idea. Rection comes out and shakes Duggan’s hand but here are Lance Storm and Major Gunns (now in a Maple Leaf top and white shorts) with the former saying no one cares about this. A non-title match is set up and we’re on.

Lance Storm vs. General Rection

Storm stomps him down to start as Duggan jumps in on commentary to say “come on Hugh.” A suplex brings Rection over the ropes for two but he powerbombs Storm out of the air for two. No Laughing Matter misses and the Maple Leaf goes on but Duggan points out the arm under the ropes. Duggan gets knocked off the apron so he hits Storm with the 2×4, right into a powerslam for the pin. Well at least Duggan didn’t turn on America. That would have been ridiculous.

Stacy opens the letter she got earlier and freaks out.

It’s time for the wedding with the bride and groom down to the ring in a hurry. Naturally we get a promo with David talking about how he’s let a lot of people down. That means he’d like Arn Anderson to come out here right now. Anderson says it might not be today and it might not be tomorrow, but his 21 year old buddies are going to call him and ask him to do something. It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Also hide some of that wedding money because one day you’re going to come home late and she’s going to get mad, but then she’ll tell you to go get a good night’s sleep. When that happens, take that money and RUN. That’s all the advise from Arn, which is a shame because that was hilarious.

David isn’t done yet though as he wants someone special down here as his best man: his dad, Ric Flair. Cue a smiling Ric, now with hair again (though it’s a bit spiky now instead of the classic style). Ric says he’s a proud father tonight and he can’t wait to have this beautiful woman as part of his family in the greatest city in the world. No drama here so it’s time for the wedding.

As the minister goes on, here are a bunch of security guards and cops to arrest Ric. Apparently Vince Russo has taken out a restraining order against him and Ric has to be arrested for coming within 100 feet of this building. Ric is arrested and taken away, sending Stacy running out of the ring. So in other words, even when he’s not here, HAHA MANLY RUSSO WINS!

After a break, Ric is put in a cop car and driven away. Arn promises to bail him out as soon as possible.

The announcers talk and you can see that the entire section off the floor behind the desk is empty. The whole arena only holds 9,600 people and assuming they have most of the fans on one side of the arena, they MIGHT have 2,000 people there.

We see some of Russo’s beatings and now it’s time for the video of his brain surgery. It’s accompanied by a doctor talking about how hard this has been on Russo and how he’ll be out for a long time. You know, because we need to feel sorry for our top heel. Tony doesn’t buy the story so maybe it’s not as stupid as it seems.

Sting vs. Harris Brothers

If Cat is in charge tonight, why did he book Sting like this? The Brothers have chains for whatever reason but Sting hits the Splash and gets Don in the Deathlock in about a minute. Ron makes the save so here’s Kronik with chains of their own to choke out the twins. The beating goes on for a long time and Sting is put on top for the pin. What was the point here? Sting has a match on Sunday but other than a quick mention, this was all about Kronik and the Brothers.

Steiner yells at Jarrett.

Stacy is still freaking out when David comes in. He doesn’t care about anything that happened tonight because he just wants to marry her. Stacy says no but he talks her into it.

It’s time for another try at the wedding with the minister talking about trust. That’s too much for Stacy because, shock and awe, David isn’t the father of the baby. David freaks and Stacy runs off. The announcers find this funny for some reason.

Post break, Stacy jumps in a limo and David can’t get there. We pan over to Awesome escorting Pamela onto the bus until Jarrett lays him out. The Thrillers come in to keep up the beating.

Steiner yells about his freaks and the Earth rotating on a 47 degree axis. He’ll beat on Goldberg too.

The announcers talk again and fans have been moved in to fill in the gap. I’m stunned that the production staff actually pays attention. Or that they exist for that matter.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner

Nash is defending, Cat is on commentary, Booker T. is guest referee and Goldberg is enforcer. Before the match, Booker promises to get the title back on Sunday. Steiner (still with a protective mask on) isn’t interested in the fingerpoke so Nash tries to leave. That’s not cool with Scott so they actually start fighting. Nash takes over to start until Steiner scores with a clothesline and the bicep elbow. Booker counts slowly and it’s time to beat up the referee. Goldberg comes in and I’m assuming the match is thrown out somewhere in there.

Another referee tries to come in but gets sent to the floor as Steiner suplexes Goldberg. Booker is down on the floor and Cat stays on commentary as the good guys are beaten down. Cat finally takes a chair away from Steiner, allowing Goldberg to start his comeback. It’s Booker beating on Nash as it’s clear that a tag match would have been a decent idea here.

The other referee is circling this stuff like it’s a match for whatever reason….and here’s That 70s Bus down the aisle. The Thrillers come out and start brawling as well, followed by Jarrett with a pipe. Booker gets powerbombed and thrown through the windshield. Now it’s Goldberg being handcuffed to the front of the bus but he breaks the grill off as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: F. I know I say this a lot but what a mess this was. Sunday’s two big matches were set up a bit but there was just so much other stuff going on that there’s no way to get behind the show. The ending was a disaster and just another part of all the messiness that bogged the show down. The longest match was about four minutes (the opener) and the rest of the show was a combination of men beating on women, the double wedding and short angles disguised as matches.

I really don’t have an interest in Sunday’s show and so much of that is because I can barely remember most of the card. As usual, one of the major problems of this kind of booking is trying to keep track of why something happened. Why are Goldberg and Steiner fighting? I’m not entirely sure, though I’m sure it was some swerve that came a few weeks ago. The swerves kind of run together after awhile, especially when you can see them coming so far away. Russo really doesn’t have a ton of ideas and once you get a handle on him, any magic he might have goes away in a hurry. Really bad show this week but that’s to be expected.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: September 6, 2000
Location: Reed Arena, College Station, Texas
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray

We’re getting closer to Fall Brawl and we’re now past the big waste of time known as WarGames 2000. In theory that means it’s time to crank up the storylines but who knows what that could mean around here. To be fair though Thunder was actually a really good show last week so maybe I have some hope here. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

MI Smooth takes the Natural Born Thrillers to the Power Plant.

Kwee Wee vs. Lieutenant Loco

This has potential and is a #1 contenders match. Before they can get anything going, here are Elix Skipper and Major Gunns for commentary. Kwee Wee grabs a slam to start and stomps Chavo in the corner before throwing him down with a quick suplex. That’s fine with Chavo as he comes back with a quick brainbuster but can’t get the tornado DDT. They’re flying through this. Instead he shoves Kwee Wee away, only to get crotched by Paisley, allowing Kwee Wee to drop him with a hanging DDT for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C. As usual, letting the wrestlers wrestle is the best idea they can have around here. Kwee Wee is still working hard in the ring but there’s no way around this stupid gimmick. I mean, what is he supposed to do with a gimmick that is destined to stay a goofy comedy guy instead of anything serious?

Post match the three women (Tygress as the third) get in a fight, only to have Skipper pull Gunns away before the MIA can save her.

The announcers talk about the history between Goldberg and Bret Hart. I don’t know if WCW knew that Hart wasn’t going to be able to get in the ring again but this is pretty close to false advertising by implying that this was leading to a match.

The sitdown interview is with David Flair and Miss Hancock before their wedding on Monday. It’s about time they built that thing up.

We go back to the Power Plant with the Thrillers returning to their old stomping grounds. They offer to give the guys in the ring some training but Mike Graham actually gets Sanders in a Figure Four. The beatdown is on and the Thrillers leave them laying. A guy cleaning the floor gets beaten up too and it’s time for the big showdown with Paul Orndorff. They let themselves into his office and Paul tries to throw them out to no avail. Orndorff asks what happened to them but the Thrillers beat him down as well. Security finally breaks it up but this did its job.

It’s time for the sitdown interview with David Flair and Miss Hancock. Tenay gets right to the point by asking if Ric will be there. Didn’t we cover that on Monday with Arn? David hasn’t talked to his family but they’re welcome to come if they like. Mike calls Hancock a gold digger (she was reaching into David’s pockets for something) before asking if David will be a better father than Ric. They argue over whether that’s personal or not (it kind of is Mike) and that’s it. Mike gives them six months at most. So Gene’s gimmick is that he’s a dirty old man and Tenay’s is that he’s just a jerk while doing interviews? How does this help anything?

Goldberg is looking for Hart.

Clip from before Nitro of the Harris Twins beating Kronik down in a bar.

Kronik vs. 3 Count

Well last week the Dragons were beaten down so I guess it’s 3 Count’s turn. The band calls out the big guys and the beating is quickly on. Helms gets in a quick superkick on Clark but Karagias eats the full nelson slam. Not that it matters as the Harris Twins appear, drawing Kronik up the ramp for a countout. After destroying 3 Count of course.

Post match Tank Abbott comes out and pummels 3 Count to make sure they get nothing out of this show.

Bret is here and has security guarding his locker room. Smart.

Crowbar says he’s ready for Troy Martin (Shane Douglas). Again I ask: how does this help anything? Yeah that’s his real name and how does that make me want to see their match any more?

It’s time to make things even worse as we have the debut of the Lava Lamp Lounge, as in Mike Awesome’s 70s themed talk show. Apparently he isn’t just into fat chicks anymore because there’s enough Vitamin A to go around. His guest tonight: Paula Pamshock (exactly as he said it).

As expected Awesome hits on her with some of the worst lines you’ve ever heard until Jeff Jarrett comes out for the interruption. Jarrett: “You look like a cross between John Travolta in Saturday Night Live and Austin Powers.” That might be worse than Paula Pamshock. It’s the big brawl with the set being destroyed but Okerlund runs out to save Pamela from the guitar shot, which takes Awesome out instead. Predictable but fine, save for the horrible screwing up lines.

Crowbar vs. Shane Douglas

Now remember: real names were used so this is a big deal. Before the match, Shane rips on Goldberg because that’s still supposed to be a thing. Crowbar has taped ribs so Shane goes after them before the bell, only to get punched and bitten in the corner. A baseball slide sends Shane to the floor and Crowbar, with the bad ribs, does his splash off the apron. Maybe it’s because he’s crazy?

Shane gets smart and sends Crowbar ribs first into the barricade a few times before throwing on an abdominal stretch back inside. The hold is broken as quickly as most other abdominal stretches are after 1958 and Crowbar starts whipping him with a belt. The northern lights suplex and Death Valley Driver get two each on Shane but Crowbar goes after Torrie (for interfering) and walks into the Franchiser for the pin.

Rating: D. This could have been good had Crowbar remembered he had bad ribs to start and if I didn’t have to listen to Shane doing his really weak heel stuff before the match. I’m really not sure what they’re going for with Shane at the moment as the feud with Kidman hasn’t been mentioned in a week, though I’m sure it’s supposed to be a big enough deal that we just go with it.

Post match Daffney comes out to brawl with Torrie. Ozzy (the boyfriend) comes out but gets beaten down by Shane. This brings out Madusa of all people to drop Shane with an enziguri.

Goldberg beats up the security guards and there’s no Bret inside.

Here’s Bret with something to say. He wants to know what happened to wrestling with people like Mike Awesome being wasted in stuff like that segment he was just in. Vince Russo has the stroke around here but everyone knows he’s the best in the world. Bret has beaten everyone in the WWF and now he’s beaten everyone here too, including Goldberg. The only person that ever gave him a chance was Vince Russo, who gave him title shots the second he got here.

We see the Bret Killer Kick from Starrcade, which cost him millions of dollars. “I couldn’t even buy that ranch I wanted.” Goldberg claims to be some kind of animal activist but he treated Bret worse than any animal. Cue Goldberg to say if this was the normal version of him, he’d have already taken Bret’s head off. Believe it or not, he has some remorse. There are times where he wishes it was him that got his head kicked off. Bret wishes that every day because all Goldberg cares about is his merchandise being on the shelf.

Goldberg says he was doing his job but every night he has to wonder. When Goldberg was growing up, Bret was one of the people he looked up to. Goldberg is 34 here so the timing doesn’t work here, but he tries to leave because Bret isn’t worth it anymore. Bret says Goldberg isn’t the real thing and that’s enough to get him back in the ring. Cue Scott Steiner with a pipe to lay Goldberg out and put him in the Recliner.

WCW Motorsports, with Vampiro completely out of character.

Steiner leaves the building.

Tag Team Titles: Filthy Animals vs. Harris Brothers

The Brothers are challenging while Konnan/Disqo do commentary. Juvy starts fast with a springboard dropkick to we’ll say Ron before it’s off to Don for some no selling and power beating. A sideslam gets two and it’s already Juvy in trouble. It’s back to Ron (like it matters) who gets kicked in the face and taken down by a springboard bulldog.

Rey finally gets the tag as everything breaks down, including Tygress coming in for a Bronco Buster. Juvy gets kicked low but here’s Kronik because we didn’t have enough interference yet. Kronik lays out Disqo for no apparent reason before Clark throws Rey at one of the Brothers for the pin to retain.

Rating: D. I’d still love to hear the pitch meeting where the Harris Brothers got jobs for so long. Was there really any good reason to go with the other than they’re big and look alike? I’m really not sure what the appeal is of them looking alike as they wrestle the same style anyway. At least with a team like the Usos you get something entertaining more often than not. The Harris Brothers are just big generic power guys who happen to be identical. That warrants employment for some reason.

Video on WarGames, which means the whole show.

After the show, Booker and his friends/family promised to get the title back at Fall Brawl. Cool moment, which is why it wasn’t on Nitro but Russo got to talk about 18 times.

Video on Sting vs. Vampiro, which is continuing for whatever reason.

Sting vs. Vampiro

Anything goes and we’re getting the Clowns on commentary to make this show so much better. The Clowns introduce themselves and offer “Tony Zimbabwe” three dollars to shill for JCW. This is also NOT for the JCW Title because Sting hasn’t beaten Mad Man Pondo. They head outside to start with Vampiro sending him into the barricade before taking it into the crowd.

We get the usual punching and walking until Sting takes it back to ringside for a whip into the barricade of his own. Sting goes face first into the announcers’ table so J can get in a right hand to the head. The Iranian Judo Attack (a clothesline) puts Sting down but he pops up and sends the Clowns running away. A lame chair to the head drops Vampiro and they head back inside as the Clowns freak out that Tony has lost his coloring book.

Vampiro comes back with chops but we might have some stolen food stamps. The Olive Loaf Chop staggers Sting but he slams Vampiro off the top for a comeback. Vampiro starts in on the leg (with the Saline Sam Coconut Crunch Lock) before kicking Sting in the face. There’s the Stinger Splash but but Shaggy throws the JCW Title at Sting’s leg. Not that it matters as the Death Drop knocks Vampiro silly for the pin. However, JCW rules say the loser wins and $5 of your ticket cost will go into Violent J’s pockets.

Rating: D+. The commentary was absolutely hilarious and the wrestling was really just there as a backdrop. The Clowns may not be the best wrestlers in the world (or really even close) but at leas they’re good for something around here. I really wish we could get past this Sting vs. Vampiro nonsense, but what in the world could they have for either guy next?

Post match Sting gets beaten down until Great Muta makes the save.

Goldberg is in the ring and calls out Bret Hart for a fight right here. Instead he gets Team Canada because they’re all the same right?

Team Canada vs. Goldberg

Goldberg yawns through the Canadian national anthem and the Canadians argue over who has to start. Storm throws Skipper at Goldberg and it’s a spear to the Cruiserweight Champion in about ten seconds. There goes Storm up the ramp but General Rection cuts him off. Back in and the spear into the Jackhammer ends Storm with ease. So much for the titles meaning anything around here.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a story heavy show but not in the stupid way that Nitro tends to go. I can live with a show that focuses on talking and setting up things for later, but it really doesn’t matter if the stories don’t have the chance to go anywhere when every Monday gets more and more insane. We’ve actually reached the point where Thunder is the bright spot in WCW and I’m not sure how to handle that.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Explaining why HHH was one of the best options to win the Rumble.

The Object Of The Game

Monday Nitro #256
Date: September 4, 2000
Location: Reunion Arena, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jeremy Borash, Mark Madden

This is a special (kind of) show for me as I remembered hearing about WarGames 2000 on Thunder and wanting to see it. Being a moron of twelve at the time, I stayed home to watch that while Monday Night Raw was taking place ten minutes from my house and a buddy of mine had an extra ticket. To this day I can’t explain what I was thinking. Let’s get to it.

On a side note: this is five years to the day that Nitro debuted.

We open with a video on tonight’s big triple cage match with the teams announced. It’s a four on four match with the World Title on the line, which already gives us a lapse in logic. The match is also called Russo’s Revenge because WARGAMES isn’t MANLY enough.

Team Russo (Russo/Nash/Jarrett/Steiner) are coming to the ring.

New opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Insane Clown Posse vs. Juventud Guerrera/Rey Mysterio Jr.

The Clowns are challenging for reasons I’ll never understand. Konnan does his intro but gets jumped from behind to get things going. It’s a brawl to start with Rey dropkicking Violent J to the floor for a double dive from the champs. Back in and Shaggy dropkicks Juvy out of the air to let the Clowns take over.

Borash to Konnan and Disqo on commentary: “Do the ICP have it like that?” Somehow this turns into a discussion of Richard Gere as Shaggy takes Air Juvy (Poetry in Motion) and a Bronco Buster from Rey, only to have the Clowns pop up like it was nothing. J presses Rey over his head but gets dropkicked down, setting up a double dropkick from the champs. What’s Up with a legdrop instead of a headbutt puts J down to retain the titles.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here as the Clowns were kept to a minimum and mainly just had Rey and Juvy do all the work. The Clowns aren’t the worst in the ring but they definitely need someone to walk them through the match. I’m still not sure why the Animals turned face but at least Rey and Juvy, the most natural underdog team ever, aren’t supposed to be intimidating anymore.

Team Canada is in the gym and Storm is putting Major Gunns through boot camp. Gunns has to be taught to work as hard as a Canadian, which is nothing more than a reason to have her running on a treadmill.

Booker T., The Cat and Ms. Jones (in a neck brace) leave their hotel.

The triple cage is lowered way too early because here’s Russo, flanked by the Thrillers, with something to say. In case you’ve never seen it, the structure is the Cell with a hardcore (weapons cage) on top with a one man cage on top of that for one of the biggest things you’ll see in wrestling. Russo takes a quick shot at the Dallas Cowboys before explaining the idea of how you win this mess. Unlike Slamboree, you have to climb the ladder and get the belt at the top of the cage and then bring it back down and go out the door.

Tonight it’s going to be the babyface team against the heel team (his words), though he claims that Team Russo will be the babyfaces. Also there’s been an injunction that means Cat has no power. Therefore, the heels (as in Goldberg/Sting/Cat/Booker T.), all have to win qualifying matches to get into WarGames. If Goldberg actually wins, Russo will waive the no contact clause. It’s going to be so big that Nash is going to hand Russo the World Title on a plate. This brings out Nash who doesn’t look pleased. Yeah I’m sure.

Nash says this isn’t how things work because his title isn’t on the line unless he says it’s on the line. He only has to defend it once a month and maybe he’ll do it on the 29^th day at the 11^th hour if he feels like it. Russo says he’s the boss but Nash says in this cage, he’s Russo’s daddy. The lights go out and here’s Sting coming through a hole in the ring. Nash flips Russo off and leaves, allowing Sting to get in Russo’s face and say it’s showtime. No contact of course because that’s Vince Russo but whatever.

Sting turns back around so Russo climbs a ladder to get to the second cage. Sting chases him up but Scott Steiner and Jeff Jarrett come in. The Thrillers come in and move the ladder so here are Booker and the Cat to take them out. Russo uses the numbers game to get down but here’s Goldberg (fresh out of the desert, which hasn’t been mentioned yet) to chase him off. Geez people. You’re having an eight person triple cage match later and you felt the need to have a big segment inside the cage as well? On five days’ notice? Really?

Post break (and recap), Steiner and Jarrett yell at Russo for ticking Nash off.

Jeremy Borash is bald and we actually get a video of the Nitro Girls shaving his head. This was something about a ratings bet with Russo that isn’t elaborated on, thank goodness.

Here are the Harris Brothers with some footage to show us. It’s a clip of them going to a bar where Kronik is drinking and starting a fight. This has nothing on the Friendly Tap.

Shane Douglas wants Goldberg in a qualifying match so Russo grants the wish to get rid of him. The catch is Shane wants the Thrillers but Torrie says he doesn’t need them. Torrie and Shane leave so Russo sends the Thrillers out to keep an eye on him.

WarGames Qualifying Match: Sting vs. Great Muta/Vampiro

I’m assuming Muta and Vampiro can get into the cage if they win. Muta and Vampiro double team him to start but Sting clotheslines Vampiro to the floor. Back in and Vampiro grabs Sting but takes the Mist to the face by mistake. Muta is sent outside and a Death Drop pins Vampiro in just over a minute.

Post match the Clowns come out to yell at Muta but nothing happens.

Major Gunns, now drenched in sweat, is on another exercise machine and the camera just happens to be looking down at her in a low cut top.

Russo makes Stevie Ray wrestle tonight by threatening to take away his Thunder commentary job.

Jarrett tells Nash to get over his issues with Russo. Nash threatens to switch teams tonight.

WarGames Qualifying Match: Booker T. vs. Stevie Ray

Stevie says this is for the fans instead of Russo. Booker gives Russo his catchphrase and Stevie jumps him from behind to take over early on. Ray sends him face first into the steps for two before bending Booker’s arms back to slow things down. Back up and Booker hits a quick forearm to set up the ax kick. The Harlem Side Kick is caught in a kind of powerbomb but the Slap Jack is countered with a backdrop. The Book End sends Booker to the main event in a hurry.

Post match Booker yells at Stevie for jumping him. The explanation: suckas gots to know and a hug. Ok then.

Kronik asks the Jung Dragons where the Harris Brothers are but beats them up for not speaking English. Totally not a Kai En Tai knockoff.

Back from a break and Kronik triple chokeslams 3 Count for fun. They want the Harris Brothers right now but get Jeff Jarrett instead. The tag match isn’t happening tonight but here’s a handicap match for them instead.

WarGames Qualifying Match: The Cat vs. Kronik

Cat says they should be getting together to fight Russo and company. Clark agrees and goes after Jeff, leaving Cat to roll Adams up for two. The beatdown is on but Cat drops to the floor to save Ms. Jones from Jarrett. Kronik pulls Cat back inside for High Times and the pin in less than a minute and a half. So Kronik is in the match instead.

Russo and Steiner are thrilled by the result……until it’s announced that Kronik advances instead. YOU MADE THE MATCH AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW THE RULES??? You can’t make this stuff up.

WarGames Qualifying Match: Shane Douglas vs. Goldberg

Torrie, really not very good on the mic yet, yells about being stuck in Dallas for the night. Shane gets shoved down to start and a quick legbar sends him out to the floor. Goldberg fires off a forearm but hits the post instead of Shane, giving Douglas a target. Back in and Shane works on a wristlock which goes as well as you would expect it to go. A clothesline with the bar arm drops Shane (no selling of course) and here are the Thrillers. They’re beaten down just as quickly with Reno taking a Roll the Dice. Douglas loads up the chain but gets speared down to set up the Jackhammer for the pin.

Rating: D. For an evil genius, Russo does some really stupid stuff. With that win, Goldberg is in the cage and can beat on Russo, all because of Russo’s doing. The match itself was as good as Shane Douglas vs. Goldberg in an overbooked match was going to be though at least we could look at Torrie.

Russo panics because he doesn’t think thinks through. Nash tells him he has an agenda tonight and Russo is foiled again.

Major Gunns is swimming for her final test to become Canadian. Well they might have been too subtle earlier so just put her in a swimsuit and be done with it. The Misfits are watching with binoculars from all of twenty feet away. Pamela Paulshock is thrown in as well so here are the Misfits to fight the Canadians in the pool.

Russo puts Vito in a gauntlet match against the Thrillers. That’s their final chance.

Arn Anderson is asked about whether he’ll show up for David’s wedding next week. After saying Pamela looks good soaking wet (he has a point), he wonders why someone like David would want to get married anyway. It’s in Horsemen country though so sure they’ll show up. The fact that the only thing they build up for weeks is likely another chance to humiliate Ric Flair is very telling about WCW.

Big Vito vs. Natural Born Thrillers

Vito says he doesn’t sweat anyone so bring it on. The Thrillers do their catchphrases so Vito turns it into gay jokes. After even more filler yelling at each other, Sanders says the five of them (there are six) will fight at the same time. Vito fights with the stick ball bat for as long as he can until Jindrak and O’Haire kick him in the face. The beating is on as you would expect and it’s a parade of finishers, capped off with the Seanton Bomb for the easy pin.

The Thrillers beat him down even more post match.

The teams have meetings in the back.

The good guys, minus Goldberg, are ready.

WCW World Title: WarGames 2000: Vince Russo/Kevin Nash/Scott Steiner/Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting/Kronik/Booker T./Goldberg

Nash is defending and the teams are only a thing for the timed interval (two minutes) entrances. The match can end at anytime and it’s Jarrett vs. Sting to start. They fight on the floor next to the ladder (needed to climb to the second cage) before throwing the ladder inside. Sting sends him into the ladder and it’s Scott Steiner in because the heels won the coin toss. Wait didn’t Russo say his team was the babyface team? So officially, the faces won the coin toss? Leave it to Russo to screw up the easiest idea in wrestling (which I believe he did in TNA’s Lethal Lockdown match as well).

Steiner hits Sting in the ribs to take over and brings in a bigger ladder but stops to beat on Sting even more. Kronik, meaning both of them, come in to “even” things up. Steiner heads up to the second cage, leaving Jarrett to take High Times, allowing Kronik to follow Steiner up top. A double gorilla press drops Steiner as the question becomes if Adams or Clark wins the title for themselves since they entered the match as a unit.

Russo comes in next but has the Harris Brothers climb the Cell and go inside the second cage after Kronik. As you might expect, Sting beats Russo down with ease and puts him in the Scorpion (of course Russo never taps). Now it’s Nash coming in as the heel/face order is thrown out. Nash goes after everyone and grabs Russo (standing with no issues after being in the Scorpion) by the throat but Steiner breaks it up. The Harris Brothers and Kronik are brawling in the crowd, apparently with Kronik having been eliminated. In WarGames.

Now Steiner breaks up Nash’s choke on Jarrett as Booker comes in. Booker ax kicks Steiner so Russo hits him from behind like a moron, earning himself an ax kick to the helmet. Yeah he’s wearing a helmet. Nash decks Booker and everyone still in the match is in the bottom cage. The heels all beat down Booker and Sting until Goldberg comes out to complete the field. Jarrett and Steiner take the bullets for Russo, leaving him to hit Goldberg in the back with the ball bat to drop Goldberg.

Booker goes up top for the belt (Yeah remember that?) as Nash stands next to the door. Well that’s smart, even though you could conceivably just climb down the side of the cage to get to the floor. Somewhere in there Goldberg was handcuffed to the corner. You would think they would have pointed that out earlier. Sting, Jarrett and Steiner go up to the second cage, leaving Booker to go up and get the belt. Booker starts hitting people with the belt to get down but Sting has been handcuffed to the weapons cage, allowing Steiner to take the belt away from Booker and blast him in the face.

Madden admits there are no teams in this mess as the belt falls through the hole. Russo picks it up and taunts Goldberg, allowing the Cat to come in and kick Russo in the head. Nash lays out Cat with a Jackknife but Goldberg breaks the handcuffs and cleans house. He picks up the belt and goes to leave but Bret Hart appears and slams the door on his face. Russo has the belt free and clear until Nash grabs him by the shirt. They hug, it was a swerve, and Nash retains.

Rating: D+. Let’s get this out of the way to start: this wasn’t WarGames. Russo can call it that all he wants but this had as much to do with WarGames as the set of collectable plates that McDonalds put out in 1998 to promote Hercules. This was a big cage match with timed intervals and that’s about it for WarGames connections.

That being said, the match was enough of a mess that it wasn’t boring and at least presented something that could be interesting if someone competent was booking the thing. It would have been a lot better if it had been just going up and getting the belt without having to get back down but you knew Nash wasn’t going up that high. It’s total insanity of course, but were you expecting anything else?

Here’s the thing though: it’s a huge waste of time. Think about it: this match was announced last Wednesday, had its main story set up earlier in the night, and the match happened tonight. Nothing changes in the storylines, Nash is still facing Booker at the pay per view, and it was all a big swerve for a few hours. At least it was memorable though, which is Russo’s definition of good.

Overall Rating: D. The main event helped a bit but an hour and a half of nothing matches before the main event isn’t the best idea with one more Nitro before the pay per view. However, I’d rather watch a somewhat interesting one off show than the traditional insanity that I have to put up with when they try to do multiple storylines. On a sidenote: where was Mike Awesome? He was part of the team on Thunder and I don’t think he was even mentioned here. That’s probably best for him actually.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6