New Column: Coming Attractions
Star Wars and stupid wrestling booking.
http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-coming-attractions/43502/
Star Wars and stupid wrestling booking.
http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-coming-attractions/43502/
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Nitro #241
Date: May 22, 2000
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Attendance: 6,530
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden
We open with a recap of the New Blood falling apart. Remember: as soon as Bischoff and Russo were gone for a single night, the whole team started falling apart. They need that strong and MANLY influence of Vince Russo to keep them in line.
Booker T. vs. The Cat
Terry Funk held a press conference earlier today and might be retiring later tonight.
Cruiserweight Title: Daffney vs. Crowbar
Booker tells the Misfits to stay tuned next week.
Ralphus and Norman are washing cars for $1 apiece.
Kidman vs. Horace Hogan
Jarrett and Russo make jokes around the casket.
The Filthy Animals arrive in a bouncing car and the Misfits take notice.
Clip of the Kanyon interview from Thunder.
The Wall vs. Mike Awesome
Wall pops up and goes after Awesome but Shane Douglas runs out with a steel pipe. They fight into the back and Page pops out of an ambulance (because he was just in there) and everyone brawls.
Norman and Ralphus pour on whatever is in the new bucket. It looks like paint or paint remover.
Scott Steiner vs. Rick Steiner
Pamela Paulshock, the new fake chest with a pretty blonde interviewer attached, asks Nash about what he just did. Nash wants a title shot tonight.
Chuck Palumbo vs. Diamond Dallas Page
Liz is here with Palumbo along with the security. Page gets a quick two off a belly to belly, followed by a Batista Bomb for the same. Elizabeth slams Palumbo into a rollup for two before a double clothesline puts both guys down for an eight count. Cue Kimberly to hit Liz in the back with a ball bat so the referee leaves the ring, allowing Awesome to come in with the halo. Page looks at Awesome and stands there so Mike can hit him in the face. Palumbo racks Page for the win.
Luger comes out and takes a beating of his own. Palumbo hits him in the face with the exercise bar and Luger has to go out on a stretcher.
Vampiro vs. Hulk Hogan
Remember when this was a thing a few months ago? Well this time Vampiro comes out with a blowtorch and a can of gasoline. Vampiro jumps him to start and knocks Hogan out to the floor. A superkick knocks Hogan up against the barricade but he comes right back with punches to the face.
Sting saves Hogan from being set on fire (little reaction) and lays Vampiro out.
It was in fact paint remover, triggering another brawl between the Misfits and the Animals. Major Gunns has to reluctantly give Ralphus mouth to mouth. Naturally she winds up getting tongue, which Tony finds hilarious.
WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Thunder
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May 17, 2000
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Attendance: 3,066
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone
We open with clips of Flair winning the title.
Opening sequence.
Misfits in Action vs. Filthy Animals
The Misfits get beaten down until Booker makes the save, leading to Major Gunns taking off her top and giving Chavo CPR. Tenay: “It must be the large lungs.”
Luger tells the Millionaires he has to go and take care of something.
Hulk Hogan vs. Horace Hogan
Norman and Ralphus are selling homemade F.U.N.B. shirts. Where did they get the money to make those if they had $1.20 between them on Monday?
Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. The Cat
This is Funk giving Cat a shot due to what happened Monday. Funk attacks him on the ramp and gets two each off a DDT and neckbreaker. They fight into the back with Funk nailing him with a computer, only to be sent into a pile of water bottles. Some trash can shots have Cat in trouble so he comes back with a bag of popcorn.
Norman and Ralphus get arrested. It was a nice idea while it lasted.
Mike Awesome vs. Scott Steiner
Shane gets a phone call from Kronik who want him in a three way dance tonight. Douglas hangs up on them and tells the New Blood to watch his door. They tell him to fight his own battles and leave.
Kronik vs. Shane Douglas
It seems that Kronik are the official champions after the win on Monday. Sure why not. Shane tries to fight back with a foreign object but Clark knocks it out of his hand and hits the pumphandle slam. Cue the Wall with a table to chokeslam Shane through a table for revenge from Monday. High Times completes the squash. Tony tries to call this a three way dance but give me a break.
Vampiro rambles about being the real freak and burns a Sting mask.
Shane asks Jarrett for help.
Ric Flair/Arn Anderson vs. Crowbar/David Flair
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Quick one this week as we look at why TNA screwing up Bound For Glory shouldn’t surprise you.
http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-they-cant-help-it/42428/
Monday Nitro #240
Date: May 15, 2000
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Attendance: 8,550
Commentators: Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson
Vampiro vs. Sting
The cage starts rising up with Vampiro attached. The lights go out and Vampiro is gone when they come back up.
Shane Douglas attacks Brian Clark in the parking lot. The Goldberg truck is seen in the background.
Captain Rection gives the Misfits a pep talk and gives them their new names: Chavo Guerrero Jr. is now Lieutenant Loco and Van Hammer is Major Stash. They have a new recruit named Major Gunns, who used to be one of the NWO girls.
Wall beats up the paramedics.
Norman Smiley and Ralphus are in the parking lot and in need of a job. The Goldberg truck looms.
Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. Filthy Animals
Post match Major Gunns bounces to the ring to take off her top and give Funk mouth to mouth.
Ric Flair arrives.
Norman and Ralphus get jobs selling popcorn.
Chris Candido and Tammy come out and issue an open challenge to any other couple for a mixed tag for the Cruiserweight Title.
Cruiserweight Title: Chris Candido/Tammy vs. Daffney/Crowbar
Daffney and Crowbar both hold the title and seem to argue over who is the real champion.
Flair demands that Russo get out here right now but Russo is in the truck telling someone to play the tape when he tells them to. After a break, Russo is still demanding that Russo get out here.
Now we cut to Sting, who is going to his car but finds it on fire.
Russo yells at Liz in the back and has some tough love for her. She gets to go inside a cage tonight.
Madusa vs. Miss Elizabeth
Nash is backing an ambulance into the arena.
Kevin Nash vs. Mike Awesome
Hogan arrives.
Just in case that angle is about to set in on anyone, Hogan comes out and clears the ring in about three seconds. Bischoff says Hogan is a dead man.
Kidman vs. Horace Hogan vs. Hulk Hogan
Back in and Hulk no sells the low shot so Kidman does it again. Horace throws Kidman at Hulk, drawing Bischoff to the apron for some yelling. Horace knocks Eric out to the floor so here are the Filthy Animals. The Hogans get chairs and clean house but cue Torrie in a leopard print dress to wink at Horace, who then blasts Hulk with a chair for the pin.
WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Jeff Jarrett
Rating: C-. He did it with a wrestling move. How about that? This is one of the few moments that makes sense as you have to give Flair SOMETHING after having him get destroyed so many times. That being said, if you want Jarrett to look like a serious main eventer, stop giving him eight day title reigns.
Russo and David beat Ric down again after the match. Vince leaves with the title but Nash comes out to take it away from him. Nash powerbombs Jarrett through the ring and stands tall because the new World Champion is just a guy. At least he hands the title to Flair.
Flair holds up the title to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. This was every Russo idea stuffed into one show and cranked up to about seventeen. All night long it was cramming all kinds of stuff into a single segment, followed by people turning on each other and of course Russo. Russo here, Russo there and Russo in the background of other scenes.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Thunder
Date: May 10, 2000
Location: Prairie Capital Convention Center, Springfield, Illinois
Attendance: 4,129
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay
Opening sequence.
Cruiserweight Title: Crowbar vs. Chris Candido
Hardcore Title: Harlem Heat vs. Terry Funk
Shawn Stasiak vs. Lash Leroux
I love alliteration. Before the match, Lash says he wants to be known as Corporal Cajun. Hennig comes out for commentary which will likely not explain his actions on Monday. A rollup gets two for Cajun but he gets slammed face first out of the corner to put him down. Stasiak gets two off a tilt-a-whirl powerbomb and they head outside with Cajun being rammed into various objects.
The rest of the Misfits chase Hennig off.
Back in New York, because we need two Russo sections, Vince messes with Daffney thinking a replica Statue of Liberty is the real one.
Rhonda Sing vs. Elizabeth
Bischoff and company are talking to Chuck Palumbo.
Bischoff gives Funk one more Hardcore Title match tonight. This is airing two days after the WWF did the exact same story with Chris Jericho and the Intercontinental Title.
Hardcore Title: Chuck Palumbo vs. Terry Funk
The security beats up Luger post match and Palumbo slams him into a door. Funk has wondered off somewhere, probably trying to find a John Wayne movie.
Kidman vs. Horace Hogan
Kidman gets up at nine and Bischoff hits Horace in the back with a chair and makes it an I Quit match. Eric is feeling nice though and offers Horace a spot on the team, earning him some spit in his eye. This brings in the Animals for a dog pile pin on Horace to end this No DQ, falls count anywhere, handicap, Texas death, I quit match which Kidman won via a pinfall.
Post break, Russo and Bischoff get in a limo but Hogan and Nash show up to destroy the car with ball bats.
Arn Anderson vs. David Flair
The bloody Arn is put in the Figure Four as Crowbar counts a pin.
David proposes to Daffney. Sure why not.
Sting vs. Mike Awesome
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Taking an in depth look at Sunday’s main event and why it could be the most important match TNA has ever had.
http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-bound-for-something-new-i-hope/42092/
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Nitro #239
Date: May 8, 2000
Location: Trans World Dome, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 6,545
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone
By the way: the Trans World Dome has a capacity of 66,000 people. Whoever decided to book this building needs to be shot.
Post break, Bischoff makes Awesome vs. Page in a stretcher match and Sting vs. Jarrett in a title match.
Hardcore Title: Ralphus/Norman Smiley vs. Terry Funk
Funk is defending and Norman/Ralphus are fired if they lose. Norman sends Ralphus after Funk first and it works even worse than you would expect it to. The champ knocks Norman into the crowd and they quickly fight into the back with Smiley jumping into a golf cart to chase Funk around.
Terry gets on the back of the card and they go crashing into some crates. This is eerily reminiscent of Kane vs. Raven vs. Big Show at Wrestlemania XVII. They wind up in the kitchen and start beating each other over the head with cookie sheets. Ralphus joins them and gets beaten down all over again. Funk pounds them both down with a sheet and gets the pin to retain.
The announcers talk about David Flair turning on his dad.
Ric tells Luger that he has to deal with David on his own.
All of this gold means nothing though when you compare it to what happened last night. Ric wants David to come out here right now and apologize for what he did and be his own man instead of trying to be Ric Flair. Cue David and Daffney but Russo quickly joins them. Last night, Russo spat in the face of a long list of people who stand for tradition. Of course he has an actual list and the top name is Ric himself. Now David is standing next to the father that he never had.
Post break Russo yells at Liz and puts her in her first ever match against Daffney. If Liz wins, she can go with Luger.
Shawn Stasiak vs. Captain Rection
Stasiak runs down Mark McGwire for some easy heat. Rection shrugs off some early offense and pounds down right hands in the corner. Cue Miss Hancock to watch as Hennig comes down to shove Stasiak out of the way of a splash. The PerfectPlex gives Stasiak the pin.
Mike Awesome vs. Diamond Dallas Page
Russo asks Steiner for protection tonight but Steiner blows him off. Post break Russo is asking Tank Abbott.
Here are Steiner and the girls with something to say. Steiner talks about beating Rection last night and he found one of his own with the girls at the hotel. After some more sex talk, Steiner calls out that amoeba Booker T. Tank Abbott comes in from behind and knocks Steiner out cold.
Harlem Heat vs. Kronik vs. Harris Twins vs. Mamalukes
Russo tells someone to be on standby.
Elizabeth vs. Daffney
Hulk Hogan/Kevin Nash vs Filthy Animals/Mike Awesome
WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
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2000
Date: May 7, 2000
Location: Kemper Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Attendance: 7,165
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson
Cruiserweight Title: Chris Candido vs. The Artist
The announcers explain the cage for the first time.
Video of Terry Funk getting beaten up a lot. Now you get to see him defend a title.
Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. Norman Smiley/???
Shawn Stasiak vs. Curt Hennig
Hennig throws his back out while trying a slam and Shawn puts on a sleeper back inside. As usual, Stasiak is really dull in the ring. Totally adequate and not bad by any stretch, but dull. Hennig breaks it up after two arm drops and punches Shawn out of the air to take over. Not that it matters as Stasiak catapults him into the post and puts on the HennigPlex for the pin.
US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Hugh Morrus
We hit the bearhug (and Madden misses the squeezing jokes) for a bit before a belly to belly knocks Rection even sillier. Steiner stops to pose, giving us some of the only unique heel work of the night. Rection makes his comeback with splashes in the corner and an Owen Hart-style tombstone, only to mostly miss the moonsault. His feet smack Steiner in the head but the Recliner retains the title a few seconds later.
Booker T. comes out to save Rection from the Recliner.
Mike Awesome vs. Chris Kanyon
Total Package vs. Buff Bagwell
Ric Flair vs. Shane Douglas
We recap Vampiro vs. Sting, which is about both of them being creepy and Vampiro wanting to be what he thinks Sting should be. This would be the third iteration of the exact same idea on this show alone.
Vampiro vs. Sting
Sting hits Vampiro in the head with the pipe again.
Nash is looking for Russo. Again, this should be on a TV show.
Kidman and Bischoff are ready for Hogan. Again, Bischoff went from being terrified of Hogan to volunteering to be guest referee for their match.
You can get a BUFF BAGWELL pennant for purchasing this show. Who thought that was a piece of merchandise that needed to be made?
Kidman vs. Hulk Hogan
At least Kimberly and Torrie are looking great here. Hogan brings out Horace with him for reinforcement. Kidman small packages Hogan on a slam attempt to start but Hogan picks him up by the throat for a crotching on top. Hogan gets a chair and drops Kidman onto it face first, only to have Kidman come back with a hurricanrana.
Russo and Liz run away from Nash.
WCW World Title: David Arquette vs. Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jeff Jarrett
Arquette grabs a guitar as Page Diamond Cuts Mike. They both head up and Arquette misses a guitar shot, only to have both of them fall down to the roof of the hardcore cage. Both guys get back up and, say it with me, Arquette turns on Page to give Jarrett the title back.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Thunder
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May 3, 2000
Location: Mid-South Coliseum, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 3,979
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan
Opening sequence.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Chris Kanyon
Wall picks out his name.
The Wall vs. Total Package
They fight outside with Luger yelling at Russo, allowing Wall to get in a shot from behind. Wall and Luger head back inside as Russo hits Flair with the bat. Now how did he not see that coming? Luger Racks Wall but Russo hits Luger with the back as well, making Luger drop Wall through the table for the win. In the match with no rules but a tables stipulation which I guess you call yourself.
Ric Flair vs. Kidman
Diamond Dallas Page vs. Vampiro
Sting jumps Vampiro from behind, beats him up, covers him in blood and throws him in for the Diamond Cutter in less than a minute.
The New Blood is all shook up.
Mike Awesome vs. Sting
Scott Steiner vs. Hulk Hogan
Steiner swears a lot in the back and chokes Russo and Bischoff.
A new limo pulls up with FUNB on the license plate.
Kronik vs. Shane Douglas/Buff Bagwell
Bischoff says he has an idea.
Battle Royal
Ric Flair, Sting, Brian Adams, Bryan Clark, Horace Hogan, Diamond Dallas Page, Hugh Morrus, Kanyon, Total Package, Curt Hennig, Hulk Hogan, Shawn Stasiak, Jeff Jarrett, Vampiro, Mike Awesome, Scott Steiner, Buff Bagwell, Shane Douglas, Chris Candido, Kidman, The Wall, The Cat
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at: