Monday Nitro – May 8, 2000: I Bet They Can’t Even Spell DQ

Monday Nitro #239
Date: May 8, 2000
Location: Trans World Dome, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 6,545
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone

Sanity. I beg of you, let there be some sanity on this show. We’re FINALLY past the David Arquette title scene, meaning it’s time to start the build to Ric Flair vs. Jeff Jarrett for the World Title at the Great American Bash. Last night’s show was pretty much a disaster, which you could actually argue as a major upgrade. There might even be rules tonight! Let’s get to it.

By the way: the Trans World Dome has a capacity of 66,000 people. Whoever decided to book this building needs to be shot.

We open with a recap from last night which doesn’t work in a minute long package either.

Page is sitting next to Kanyon’s hospital bed with Kanyon in a halo. The New Blood came in and destroyed Page because, as Punk said on Raw that one time, security around here sucks. Kimberly emptied a bedpan on him because that kind of stuff is funny you see.

The Millionaire’s Club’s bus arrives. You can hear Flair talking about wrestling history in this city from here.

Here’s the New Blood, complete with David Arquette in a yellow suit and matching fur coat, to open things up. Bischoff goes through the entire plan of being in league with Arquette the whole time and how they handed Page and then Arquette the title just because they felt like it. So in other words, they did this whole thing for the sake of having fun and were willing to just drop the title because they were bored one day?

Bischoff says he did it to get under the skin of the internet wrestling fans who all thought it was a disgrace to have Arquette win the title. He wanted to royally screw Page. So…..he made him World Champion? Arquette does the big over the top heel speech about how you can’t trust anyone from Hollywood and he roped Page in and because World Champion. Jarrett brags a bit and we cut to the back to see Page arriving. Kimberly says it’s all about her and rips open her coat to reveal very little clothing aside from a purple sports bra with ME written on it. Bischoff: “It’s all about…..her!”

Awesome makes fun of Kanyon being crippled and here’s Page for the brawl. House is cleaned and Arquette takes a Diamond Cutter, only to have Jarrett, Awesome and Cat come back in for the beatdown. This brings out Sting to clean house, which draws in Bagwell/Douglas (confirmed as the champions. It only took five days to figure that out, but Kronik cancels them out and the Millionaire’s Club stands tall.

Post break, Bischoff makes Awesome vs. Page in a stretcher match and Sting vs. Jarrett in a title match.

Hardcore Title: Ralphus/Norman Smiley vs. Terry Funk

Funk is defending and Norman/Ralphus are fired if they lose. Norman sends Ralphus after Funk first and it works even worse than you would expect it to. The champ knocks Norman into the crowd and they quickly fight into the back with Smiley jumping into a golf cart to chase Funk around.

Terry gets on the back of the card and they go crashing into some crates. This is eerily reminiscent of Kane vs. Raven vs. Big Show at Wrestlemania XVII. They wind up in the kitchen and start beating each other over the head with cookie sheets. Ralphus joins them and gets beaten down all over again. Funk pounds them both down with a sheet and gets the pin to retain.

Rating: C. Oh come on how can you not love Ralphus? It’s a stupid match and a stupid idea that needs to die already but I had a good time with this due to them cutting it down to about four minutes instead of the ten minutes they went at Slamboree. This was one of the more entertaining hardcore matches with the golf cart as a funny idea. Norman and Ralphus have potential.

The announcers talk about David Flair turning on his dad.

Ric tells Luger that he has to deal with David on his own.

Here’s Ric to talk about how Terry Funk told him if he wanted to be a big star, he had to make it to St. Louis on a Friday night. He holds up the NWA World Heavyweight Title (held by Naoya Ogawa at this point) and talks about first seeing it around the waist of Jack Brisco and they gave every single thing they had to be the biggest stars in the world. Then that title went away and the current World Title (Flair holds up a bad looking copy) took its place. “Jarrett, it was mine before it was yours.”

All of this gold means nothing though when you compare it to what happened last night. Ric wants David to come out here right now and apologize for what he did and be his own man instead of trying to be Ric Flair. Cue David and Daffney but Russo quickly joins them. Last night, Russo spat in the face of a long list of people who stand for tradition. Of course he has an actual list and the top name is Ric himself. Now David is standing next to the father that he never had.

Ric tells David that they discussed this when he got in the business a year ago. He told David that people would pull him aside and try to manipulate him. David says he’s angry at Ric (he doesn’t say dad) and Russo wants to make father vs. son at the Great American Bash. Ric pulls out his phone and says he’ll call Vince McMahon right now and have David on Raw next week. David hugs Ric, who goes after Russo, only to have David hit Ric with another Statute of Liberty. The angle is good and interesting, but as usual it’s all about making Russo look good.

Post break, Ric says he’s had it and leaves.

Here’s Chuck Palumbo to Luger’s (the announcers are using the name again) entrance to introduce himself. He calls out Luger so here’s Lex to clean house. Russo and Bischoff’s security comes out to kidnap Liz (again?) but Luger goes after them, allowing Palumbo to hit Lex with the exercise bar. Liz is taken away.

Post break Russo yells at Liz and puts her in her first ever match against Daffney. If Liz wins, she can go with Luger.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Captain Rection

Stasiak runs down Mark McGwire for some easy heat. Rection shrugs off some early offense and pounds down right hands in the corner. Cue Miss Hancock to watch as Hennig comes down to shove Stasiak out of the way of a splash. The PerfectPlex gives Stasiak the pin.

Kevin Nash comes out and destroys Stasiak with a big boot and Jackknife. Nash wants Russo to come out here and face him tonight because he didn’t kill Nash last night. Instead he gets the Filthy Animals with Kidman saying that Nash is low on the scrotum pole (censored when Kidman says it, not censored when Madden repeats it).

Last night Kidman got rid of Hogan and tonight he’d be glad to get rid of another giant. Konnan says screw the Wolfpac and Nash’s over the top shocked face is rather funny. Rey gets in a bat shot to Nash’s knee but Hogan (Madden: “Oh no not again.”) makes the save. Nash grabs the mic and issues a challenge for a street fight tonight. Hogan says first they have to take a Russo and wipe their Bischoff. I bet he spent all day coming up with that line.

Mike Awesome vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Stretcher match. Bischoff and Kimberly are here for commentary. Page is on Awesome during the entrance and they’re quickly on the floor. He throws Mike onto the announcers’ table but Awesome comes back with a right hand to the head as they go inside. They miss a few shots until Page finally nails a big clothesline.

A DDT drops Mike again but Kimberly wants Page to sign the divorce papers RIGHT NOW. Awesome gets in a cheap shot and DDT’s Page on a chair twice in a row. Page gets off the stretcher though so Awesome hits him with a chair to bust him open. A powerbomb puts Page through the table and Bischoff has Page sign the papers in his own blood before putting him on the stretcher for the win.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t wild on this one as it was much more story than a match but at least they gave it some time (well time by this era’s standards) for a change. The stuff with Kimberly is fine but again it comes off like a way to have Bischoff next to a gorgeous woman instead of any valid storyline reason.

Russo asks Steiner for protection tonight but Steiner blows him off. Post break Russo is asking Tank Abbott.

Jarrett says he’ll win tonight.

Here are Steiner and the girls with something to say. Steiner talks about beating Rection last night and he found one of his own with the girls at the hotel. After some more sex talk, Steiner calls out that amoeba Booker T. Tank Abbott comes in from behind and knocks Steiner out cold.

Sting says he’ll win tonight.

Harlem Heat vs. Kronik vs. Harris Twins vs. Mamalukes

Elimination rules. Adams and Clark have the title belts so Bagwell and Douglas to watch. Kronik fights off all six men until it’s one of the Twins in the ring. Clark takes him down with a top rope clothesline but let’s cut to Steiner in the back shouting for Tank. Schiavone: “He may be looking for Tank Abbott!” Everyone gets in for another big brawl but Adams hits an F5 for the pin on Vito to even things up a bit more. A big boot takes out Don and it’s 2-2 so Bagwell and Douglas try to help. Harlem Heat double teams Clark down but Cash screws up, leaving High Times to knock Big T. silly and give Kronik the win.

Rating: D. This was another big mess that didn’t get anywhere because it was too much going on. Kronik is clearly getting the titles soon and it’s a good thing to get them off the transitional champions as fast as possible. It also goes to show you how far the division has fallen recently, but at least the Twins are just another team.

Scott Steiner comes out and beats up whoever is in his way before calling out Russo and Abbott. A lot of swearing sends us to the back where Tank is telling someone to get this right. Back from a break and Goldberg’s music plays. Steiner looks bored and it’s Tank Abbott doing Goldberg’s entrance. Tank gets caught in a t-bone suplex followed by a belly to belly before Steiner mounts him with a choke. Rick Steiner returns through the crowd and helps Tank beat him down.

Russo tells someone to be on standby.

Elizabeth vs. Daffney

Liz is in camo pants and a black t-shirt and starts catfighting. Cue Madusa about thirty seconds in to attack Liz, so I guess Liz is free. Granted she’ll be kidnapped again next week.

Mona comes in to brawl with Madusa but Madusa slams her down and stands on her hair. The bell rings roughly 200 times as Madusa beats Mona down, only to have Liz blast Madusa with a chair. Russo and Bischoff’s security kidnaps Liz again as they’re in a hurry this week.

Hulk Hogan/Kevin Nash vs Filthy Animals/Mike Awesome

Street fight. Tony says the previous match was thrown out but I’m the kind of wrestling fan who believes that it’s a DQ when someone comes out to attack a single wrestler so we’ll say it’s a bad continuity error. It’s 4-2 (Konnan/Mysterio/Kidman/Awesome) to start but Juvy walks out a few seconds in. The old guys take over to start but Hogan gets lured to the back. Horace attacks Awesome but the Animals have attacked Hogan with ball bats (he didn’t go off his feet) and thrown him in the trunk of a car. Back in the arena, Nash gives Juvy one heck of a Jackknife as the street fight is thrown out.

The Animals start driving Hogan away but get cut off by Goldberg’s monster truck. Goldberg isn’t seen and Hogan gets out of the trunk post break.

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting

Jarrett is defending of course. Sting starts fast with some Japanese armdrags of all things, followed by a clothesline to put the champ on the floor. A suplex from the floor puts Jeff on the ramp (that’s a new one) but Sting misses a top rope splash. Jeff goes after the knee with a chair as Tony wonders why Jarrett didn’t want this to be a title match. Sting gets a big running start down the ramp and dives over the top with a clothesline. So much for the chair shots to the knee.

Jeff didn’t get the idea though and puts on the Figure Four until Sting rolls over to break it up. Sting makes his comeback and cleans house. The Scorpion comes on but Vampiro comes up through the ring with smoke coming out of the hole. Vampiro pulls Sting through the hole and the fans are LIVID. Vampiro pulls Sting, now covered with the red liquid, through the hole to give Jeff the pin. So Madusa coming after Liz is enough to throw a match out but someone pulling a wrestler THROUGH THE RING isn’t?

Rating: D+. This was as good of a wrestling match as you were going to get before the screwy ending. Jarrett and Sting are a good example of a pair who doesn’t need any kind of outside stuff to have a good match and the fans were right to be upset due to that ending. It was straight out of Kane’s (as in what Kane did like a week before this was written fifteen years later. That’s sad) playbook and that’s not going to fly in an old school down like St. Louis.

New Blood comes out and goes after Sting but here are Hogan and Nash. We cut to the back to see the Goldberg truck destroying Tank Abbott and Rick Steiner’s car to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Of course that’s on an extremely sliding scale at this point. This was by far the best Russo and Bischoff show yet as it actually had some structure. It went from story to story and it didn’t feel like I needed note cards to keep track of what was going on. Above all else though, Arquette was taking a backseat to the real wrestlers and not doing anything overly stupid. This flowed so much better as a show and you could tell what was going on, which is more than you can say for most of their shows.

Now that doesn’t make it a good show of course. As usual, there’s still WAY too much Russo and Bischoff, as well as way too much going on in a single show. I still feel like I just watched three weeks of stories in two hours, but the stories made better sense and had some structure instead of all the insanity.

Above all else though, the show isn’t one major story. The show is built around the New Blood vs. Millionaire’s Club, but it feels like a bunch of parts of that story instead of one big idea that keeps going all night long. Finally, it’s also not a good sign that they couldn’t make it a week without changing Flair’s plan for the pay per view, but Heaven forbid we get a match built up for that long. The idea of Russo having to fill that much time is terrifying. Much better show this week, but I have no faith for them to keep it going.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Slamboree 2000 (2015 Redo): Yes, This Is An Improvement

Slamboree 2000
Date: May 7, 2000
Location: Kemper Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Attendance: 7,165
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson

It’s time for the David Arquette pay per view with the triple cage match which has only been vaguely described on TV. Coming off this week’s Nitro and Thunder where there was barely any build for most of the matches, it’s really hard to get into this show. Maybe there will be some actual effort this time, though I have a feeling I’m going to be disappointed. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Thunder, which set up Great American Bash next month. Notice that: they don’t even have anything to build up for this month’s show so they’re already talking about June. That’s a really bad sign.

The Millionaire’s Club arrives on a bus. I’m sure their promos in the arena on the pre-show were a figment of my imagination.

We go to the opening video, which starts by talking about Flair vs. Douglas. Is that really the most important thing to talk about? The other big matches get some time too in the best video they’ve done on the show so far. They’re actually talking about some matches for a change.

There’s a long entrance ramp back. I’ve always been a fan of those.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Candido vs. The Artist

Candido is defending and Artist hasn’t won a match on TV since March. Tammy offers to show the fans hers in the Show Me State. A quick rollup gets two for the champ but a second attempt is countered into a German suplex for two for the Artist. They pick things up a bit with Artist backdropping Candido to the floor, only to be whipped into the barricade. Candido goes up but Artist kind of clotheslines him out of the air. It looked like a spear with no impact so we’ll call it a clothesline.

Back in and a hurricanrana gets two for Artist but The champ comes back with chops in the corner. Artist gets knocked to the apron and suplexes Candido over the top in the only good spot of the match so far. Chris gives him a low blow (there are referees tonight but they’re as worthless as ever) but Artist comes back with a bad powerbomb.

Candido’s hurricanrana off the top is blocked and Artist hits a middle rope Samoan drop. Tammy tries to interfere and triggers a catfight, only to have Tammy chair Artist for a close two. They even played Candido’s music but the referee says keep going. Candido piledrives Artist and drops the top rope headbutt to retain.

Rating: D. Artist is dull and boring most of the time but here he was adding in blowing spots. To be fair though, Candido wasn’t really helping here as he kept blowing things left and right as well. This was such a boring time for the title as 3 Count and the Jung Dragons, as in the guys who could actually be entertaining with the title, have been forgotten for this company wide story. It felt like an old NWA Junior Heavyweight Title match where smaller guys who didn’t wrestle a different style had dull matches and no one cared but it was its own division and therefore supposed to be special.

Paisley rips off Tammy’s dress and crawls over to Artist.

The announcers explain the cage for the first time.

Video of Terry Funk getting beaten up a lot. Now you get to see him defend a title.

Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. Norman Smiley/???

Funk is defending and Norman has a mystery partner who is obviously Ralphus. Norman hides in the bathroom to start because it worked so well last month. Funk finds the mystery partner (wearing a catcher’s mask) instead, allowing Norman to blast Funk with a fire extinguisher. Why he doesn’t hit him with the extinguisher itself isn’t clear but Norman isn’t the brightest guy in the world.

Funk gets rammed into a Coke machine until the light goes out and some trashcan lid shots get two. They brawl through the back until Terry throws Norman through Gene’s interview set. The mystery partner gets on a pile of carpet and throws boxes at Terry, allowing Madden to make pitcher and catcher jokes. Some trashcan shots get two on Norman as the mystery partner just stands around letting Norman get destroyed.

Funk hits him with a chair for two as the partner doesn’t even break up the cover. They fight to the go position (Tony: “HOW WILL WE KNOW HOW TO GET TO THE RING???” I would say listen for the cheering but that’s not happening at a WCW show.) and then into the arena with Funk dragging the partner to the ring. Madden think it’s Bubba the Love Sponge. The mask comes off and of course it’s Ralphus.

Funk accidentally pulls Ralphus’ pants down as Norman attacks with a ladder. Madden: “Not since I was attacked by Tank Abbott have we seen……wait what am I saying?” Ok that was kind of funny. A chair to Funk’s head sets up the Big Wiggle but Ralphus, who has lost his shirt, wants to join in. Funk comes back with some chair shots and rolls Norman up to retain.

Rating: C. It’s stupid, it’s goofy, and it’s probably the most entertaining thing on this show. Ralphus is one of those ideas where they knew exactly what they had and didn’t try to make it anything more than that. This was good fun and Norman continues to be the most underrated thing in WCW.

David Arquette arrives half an hour into the show and says he’s got his own money so he’s not with the Millionaire’s Club. Don’t let the smile fool you: he’s scared. They’re actually trying to treat this seriously and that’s even dumber than putting Arquette in the story in the first place.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Curt Hennig

Feeling out process to start as the announcers debate what they can call either guy without getting in trouble for gimmick infringement. A hiptoss puts Stasiak on the floor and he comes back in to fight over a top wristlock. Shawn gets two off a sunset flip as the Misfits in Action are in the front row in different color fatigues. Out to the floor now with Stasiak choking over the announcers’ table before they head to the ramp.

Hennig throws his back out while trying a slam and Shawn puts on a sleeper back inside. As usual, Stasiak is really dull in the ring. Totally adequate and not bad by any stretch, but dull. Hennig breaks it up after two arm drops and punches Shawn out of the air to take over. Not that it matters as Stasiak catapults him into the post and puts on the HennigPlex for the pin.

Rating: D+. Totally watchable match and probably the most technically sound things are going to get all night but I really didn’t need to watch eight minutes of Stasiak being dull before getting the pin. I guess Stasiak is supposed to be the new Mr. Perfect. It would be nice if we had heard a promo from Stasiak where he said that, but that’s probably asking too much from WCW.

Russo tells Steiner to keep the New Blood roll going. Steiner doesn’t seem pleased.

US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Hugh Morrus

Steiner is defending. First up though, Morrus renames himself Hugh G. Rection or Captain Rection for short. Well of course he did. Steiner hammers him down in the corner but Rection comes back with enough right hands to put Scott on the floor for a breather. Back in and a spinwheel kick of all things gets two on the champ and there’s Rection’s top rope elbow. The girls break up No Laughing Matter though and put Rection in the Tree of Woe, allowing Madden to get in some easy jokes. The t-bone suplex sets up the pushups and the spinning belly to belly gets two.

We hit the bearhug (and Madden misses the squeezing jokes) for a bit before a belly to belly knocks Rection even sillier. Steiner stops to pose, giving us some of the only unique heel work of the night. Rection makes his comeback with splashes in the corner and an Owen Hart-style tombstone, only to mostly miss the moonsault. His feet smack Steiner in the head but the Recliner retains the title a few seconds later.

Rating: D. Another bad match here but the stupid name was really messing this up. It’s really difficult to stay in a match when there’s a stupid joke every 18 seconds. As usual Russo would rather make himself laugh than advance the story in any meaningful way because Russo is a hack. A creative hack but still a hack.

Booker T. comes out to save Rection from the Recliner.

Kanyon says he’ll win tonight.

Mike Awesome vs. Chris Kanyon

Kanyon starts with a clothesline as the fans look at something in the crowd. Instead of going to a hold, Awesome sends Kanyon outside for a big dive over the top, drawing an ECW chant. Kanyon wraps Awesome’s ribs around the post and drives in a baseball slide for good measure. There’s a flip dive off the apron as the fans are trying to get into this show. Back in and Awesome comes back with the top rope clothesline, followed by some chair shots to take over again.

Some choking on the floor is followed by a hard clothesline for Awesome as this is the good match these two are capable of having when there’s nothing screwy going on. Mike chairs Kanyon in the back but gets crotched on the top, allowing Kanyon to pull him down with a nice neckbreaker. Awesome rolls through a high cross body for two but Kanyon’s fireman’s carry pancake gets the same. An Alabama Slam (which Tony calls a version of a powerbomb) knocks Kanyon silly before powerbombing Kanyon on the back of his head in a scary landing.

Mike peels back the mats at ringside but opts for a slingshot shoulder instead. He can’t Awesome Bomb Kanyon over the top rope so it’s a release German suplex across the ring instead. Awesome loads up the powerbomb onto the concrete and here’s Nash to interrupt. Cue the New Blood and the match is thrown out, presumably due to Nash’s jealousy shining through.

Rating: B-. Match of the night by a mile and I’d be surprised if anything besides the main event comes anywhere close to it. This is what happens when you let two talented guys beat each other up and do impressive looking moves to each other for ten minutes. Now of course there had to be a screwy ending because the fans were getting into it and WCW doesn’t know how to handle that, but I’ll take what good stuff I can get when I can get it.

The Millionaire’s Club comes down for the save, just like they have on every TV show for two weeks.

We recap Bagwell vs. Luger which is happening again for reasons I’ll never comprehend. This time Russo has stolen Liz (and let her go on Nitro, only to have her back two days later for reasons that were never explained) and Bagwell is doing Russo’s fighting. As has been explained: this is an excuse for Russo to look manly and have Liz on his arm.

Russo tells Liz to change out of her dress (which looks quite good already) and put on something he’s picked out for her.

Total Package vs. Buff Bagwell

Bagwell doesn’t have a title so Tony isn’t sure if he and Douglas are still champions. We start with the posing because that’s what they’ve done for years now. Luger drives him into the corner to start but Buff pounds him down with ease. We’re already in the chinlock but Luger fights out with a suplex. Dang he’s working hard tonight. The right hands and clotheslines knock Bagwell to the floor, which I think has happened in every match tonight.

Luger gets in a few shots and throws Bagwell back in by the ear. That’s certainly a new one. Bagwell gets two of his own off a double arm DDT and we’re back in the chinlock. This might be the laziest pairing in wrestling history but they keep getting paired together for years on end. After they stay on the mat with the chinlock it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down again. Buff drops a splash for two and it’s off to a reverse chinlock.

Luger looks mildly annoyed, realizes there’s a camera on him, and starts wincing. We cut to the back where Russo tells Liz to come watch, only to have Liz come out and hit him with the ball bat. Luger starts his comeback but Buff hits him in the ribs. Cue Bagwell with the bat but Buff takes it away from her and hits Luger in the stomach. Liz picks the bat up though and breaks up the Blockbuster, setting up the Rack for the submission.

Rating: D. Luger and Bagwell laying around instead of trying to have a good match? Who would have ever seen that one coming? This was your standard match between the two and it’s still nothing that anyone would want to see again, hence why I’m sure they’ll be best friends again by the end of the year. Can we just have Liz fall for Russo already? You know it’s coming soon.

Post match Chuck Palumbo comes in and blasts Luger in the back with an exercise bar. He’s wearing gear identical to Luger, so Russo is already repeating his own storyline from the Stasiak vs. Hennig story. Palumbo Racks Luger and Bagwell kidnaps Liz again. April O’Neil wasn’t this helpless.

Shane Douglas is happy to finally get his hands on Flair. As usual, if you didn’t watch ECW or read the internet, this story makes no sense to you.

Ric Flair vs. Shane Douglas

Douglas says he’s awesome and is going to destroy Flair. Ric comes out and has the referee hold the ropes for a former World Champion. Flair: “Not that you would know anything about that buddy.” Ric even mentions ECW when promising to take Shane out tonight like it’s 1981. They actually wrestle to start until Shane elbows him in the face to take over.

The chop it out until Flair gets slammed off the top, followed by a Figure Four from Douglas. Hudson: “THAT’S THE MOVE HE WON SO MANY WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS WITH!” Your factoid of the day: Flair never actually won a World Title with the Figure Four by traditional submission. Every time he won with the Figure Four, it was due to his opponent passing out in the hold. Flair grabs a rope and hits one heck of a low blow to knock Shane to the floor. Shane gets whipped into the barricade but manages a kick to the bad leg to get a breather.

Now we get to the issue with WCW as a whole right now: Douglas pulls out a chain and tries to hide it from the referee, just like wrestlers have been doing for years. However, why should he try to hide the chain? It’s clear that WCW referees aren’t going to call DQ’s unless it’s something major, so why would a chain be anything different? Some suplexes have Flair in trouble but he pops right back up for a pair of low blows. It’s time for the Figure Four but Bagwell and “Sting” come out with “Sting” ball batting Flair to give Shane the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was pretty decent until the end but the story isn’t there. I still don’t know why I’m supposed to be interested in some big challenges that Douglas made back in ECW, but I’m guessing a fan talked about it online somewhere and Russo decided that it was the hottest story in wrestling.

Bagwell and Douglas lay out Flair but he calls out “Russo” (clearly too tall to be under the Sting mask) for their five minute fight. Luger comes out to drag “Sting” to the ring but Russo pops up behind them and nails Luger with the bat. Back inside and “Sting” hits Ric with a miniature Statue of Liberty and it’s…..David Flair. A few bat shots knock Ric silly as Russo does the crotch chop like A MAN would. Nash casually walks down the ramp for the save but Daffney hits him low, allowing David Flair and Russo to stand tall. Yeah we’re supposed to be intimidated by those two and Daffney. She’s the scariest of them all.

We recap Vampiro vs. Sting, which is about both of them being creepy and Vampiro wanting to be what he thinks Sting should be. This would be the third iteration of the exact same idea on this show alone.

Vampiro vs. Sting

They start fighting on the ramp with Sting grabbing a suplex and sending Vampiro into the ring for a missile dropkick. Vampiro falls to the floor and Sting knocks him outside with a plancha. Where has this Sting been for the last three and a half years? A DDT on the floor knocks Vampiro even sillier but he comes back with a low blow. It’s lead pipe time (I feel like I’m watching Clue tonight) and Sting gets knocked up the ramp.

That goes nowhere so they come back in the ring for another pipe shot to Sting’s back. Sting hits him low to break up a hurricanrana and powerbombs Vampiro off the top. A pipe shot to the head doesn’t have much of an effect on Vampiro (this is so goofy at this point) so Sting hits two straight Splashes and Deathdrops for the pin.

Rating: D+. A lead pipe to the head was sold like a right hand to the jaw. That really should be all you need to know on this match. In case you’re keeping track, Vampiro has still only won one time under the new regime and that included Hogan attacking Kidman for two minutes straight. As usual, the old guys get to be superhuman but the young guys are getting a story and that’s supposed to mean something.

Sting hits Vampiro in the head with the pipe again.

David Arquette, dressed as Elvis for a reference from the movie, and Page are ready for the main event. Page tells him to stay away from Jarrett and play defense on the top of the cage near the belt. Don’t grab it though.

Nash is looking for Russo. Again, this should be on a TV show.

Kidman and Bischoff are ready for Hogan. Again, Bischoff went from being terrified of Hogan to volunteering to be guest referee for their match.

You can get a BUFF BAGWELL pennant for purchasing this show. Who thought that was a piece of merchandise that needed to be made?

Kidman vs. Hulk Hogan

At least Kimberly and Torrie are looking great here. Hogan brings out Horace with him for reinforcement. Kidman small packages Hogan on a slam attempt to start but Hogan picks him up by the throat for a crotching on top. Hogan gets a chair and drops Kidman onto it face first, only to have Kidman come back with a hurricanrana.

Hogan really isn’t someone you picture taking hurricanranas that often. A quick beating on the floor goes nowhere so Hogan comes back in for a whipping with the weightlifting belt. Bischoff takes it away as Hudson tries to make sense of the relaxed rules jazz. Kidman whips away with the belt until Hogan wraps it around Kidman’s neck and throws him out to the floor. Hogan whips him into the barricade and Bischoff won’t count. We’re firmly in the old standard book of evil referee tropes.

Kidman comes back with a few shots to take over so Hogan sends him out to the floor again. The brawling by the announcers’ tables goes nowhere so Hogan hits the big boot but Bischoff walks in front of the legdrop. Bischoff gets sent to the floor and Hogan drops the leg. It’s chair time but Hogan tries to bring in a table, which breaks upon contact. Kidman saves Bischoff from going through the table and gets two of his own off a chair shot.

Hogan kicks the chair into Kidman’s face, kicks Bischoff low and powerbombs him through the table. That’s STILL not enough though as Hogan brings in another table, only to get kicked low. Kidman misses a splash through the table and Horace comes in to grab Bischoff’s hand and force the count to give Hulk the pin. There are so many broken tables that you can barely see the ring.

Rating: F+. Well to be fair, Hogan did let Kidman get some totally worthless pinfalls on him (which weren’t really pins) on TV that fewer and fewer people were watching so the completely over the top PPV win was completely justified. Bad match here of course as it was just another brawl in a long series of them since Bischoff and Russo took over.

Russo and Liz run away from Nash.

We recap the World Title match, which resulted in a lot of short title reigns, capped off by David Arquette coming out as champion. I’m moving on before I get even more annoyed.

WCW World Title: David Arquette vs. Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jeff Jarrett

Arquette is defending and this is in the triple cage. It’s three cages on top of each other with the Hell in a Cell on the bottom, then a cage full of weapons on top of that and a small cage called the Guitar Room on top. You have to get on top of the Guitar Room to reach the belt. First person to get to the top and pull the belt down wins.

The cage is lowered and to its credit, it looks amazing. Jarrett chases Arquette to start but Page makes the save instead of going after the belt. Well to be fair he wasn’t that upset when Arquette won it from him last week anyway. A clothesline puts Jarrett down as Arquette stands on the part of the ramp inside the cage. Jeff baseball slides a ladder into Page’s face but Page catapults Jarrett into Arquette.

Page gets pulled face first into the post but comes back by crotching Jeff against it instead. The ladder is set up but Jarrett suplexes Page down. Jarrett is already busted open. Page shoves him off the ladder and is the first man to the hardcore cage, where he has to use bolt cutters to open the door. This is more like an obstacle course than a match. Jarrett follows him up and they’re quickly outside the hardcore cage and on top of the big cage. That’s quite the dangerous spot to be in considering they have all of five feet to fight on.

Back in the hardcore cage and they break the wall down in what I guess is the big spot of the match. Arquette watches from the bottom cage as Page powerslams Jarrett through a table in the hardcore cage. They go back out to the edge and Page elbows him in the jaw to break up an Irish whip. Arquette climbs into the hardcore cage and goes up to the Guitar Room but here’s Mike Awesome out of nowhere to break up a Diamond Cutter.

Arquette grabs a guitar as Page Diamond Cuts Mike. They both head up and Arquette misses a guitar shot, only to have both of them fall down to the roof of the hardcore cage. Both guys get back up and, say it with me, Arquette turns on Page to give Jarrett the title back.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t the worst match in the world actually, stupid ending aside. That last part is where it falls apart though: the Arquette stuff in here really didn’t need to exist. Let him be a second or a cheerleader or something but there’s no need to have him in the match itself. When you can eliminate something from a match and have it be the exact same thing, you can tell it’s a bad idea. The match itself was fun and unfortunately they never went back to this idea again (at least not in this form) because the company never had the chance again, which is kind of a shame as it’s a cool idea.

Post match here’s Kanyon to save Page from an Awesome Bomb, only to be thrown off the top of the Cell and through the ramp. The announcers scream that he’s broken his back in the shock value moment of the show, which of course is being held in the same arena where Owen Hart fell. Russo: “BUT PEOPLE TALKED ABOUT IT!” Yes they did Russo, just like when you get fired because people stopped watching your garbage.

Overall Rating: D. Let’s get the good out of the way first: this was a major improvement over the mess of Spring Stampede. It’s so much better to have ten matches spaced over two hours and fifty minutes instead of fourteen matches over about two hour and a half hours. It’s a big upgrade and the show had a much better structure overall.

Now that being said, the show still sucked because Russo has overbooked the heck out of it. Almost every match had a brawl on the floor or interference or cheating. It’s fine to have something like that a few times a match but when you have it every single time, it gets old fast. There comes a point where you stop watching the match and start waiting for the interference or cheating, which defeats the purpose of the match itself.

Overall though, this company is drowning under the one major idea. This system has almost never worked but for some reason wrestling companies keep running with them. It boils down to one problem: if you don’t like the one idea, there’s no point to watching the show. You can have one dominant story, but mix in a few other things that are disconnected to it as it keeps the fans around to see that instead of waiting on the major story to be over. This isn’t the worst show ever, but they still need to make a lot of tweaks to get this company to work again.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder – May 3, 2000: Rules? Where We’re Going We Don’t Need Rules

Thunder
Date: May 3, 2000
Location: Mid-South Coliseum, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 3,979
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

It’s the go home show for Slamboree and David Arquette is still World Champion. They’ve done a horrible job of setting up the triple cage match as the gimmick has barely been mentioned outside of a video on it early in the buildup. Instead it’s all about David Arquette, who wouldn’t prove to be the strongest draw. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

The Millionaire’s Club and others (including Hugh Morrus) are outside waiting on the New Blood. Another car comes up and the low level New Blood members get jumped.

After a Slamboree ad, Russo and Bischoff yell at the rest of the team for not protecting them. So…..this is going to be one of those shows about the two of them.

Here’s the New Blood for a chat. Oh yeah it’s a one note show. Russo immediately calls out the Millionaire’s Club and gets his wish, plus pretty much every other face on the roster. Tonight he wants the Club destroyed so he’s going to throw their names in a hat and let each member of the New Blood pull one out. Well it’s official: the booking is now pulling names out of a hat.

As for tonight, it’s New York Rules: no referees or referees whatsoever. It’s Russo’s dream show: no wrestling and just all out carnage. It’s like he doesn’t have to do anything at all! Flair loves the idea and promises to take it to Russo tonight. A brawl ensues with Russo and Bischoff running off with Liz. Wait wasn’t she freed on Monday?

Jeff Jarrett vs. Chris Kanyon

Before the match, Kimberly grabs a mic and says that Bischoff has shown her the light: Page is a bar bouncing bum from nowheresville and he’s just a wrestling mark. Cue Kanyon to start the brawl in the aisle as the announcers explain that you count your own pins here. Jeff takes over by dropping Kanyon across the barricade and kneeing him in the face. Back in and Jarrett walks into a Russian legsweep, followed by a top rope Fameasser.

They head back outside with Jarrett sending him into the steps and over the barricade. A chair shot to the back staggers Kanyon but he grabs a neckbreaker back inside. Cue DDP’s music and what felt like some clipping. Like, his music hit and then he was just in the ring almost instantly. A Diamond Cutter to Jarrett lets Kanyon count his pin.

Rating: D. From what I can find online, the reason for the clipping was due to Page hitting Kimberly with a guitar when she tried to interfere, which also explains why he came out when Kanyon was in control. As for the match, it was pretty much the same thing WCW has been doing for weeks now because referees haven’t meant a thing for a long time. They just brawled for a little while and then had interference as always. It’s pretty telling that it doesn’t seem any different when the rules are thrown out. How screwy has this place been if chaos feels like the norm?

Wall picks out his name.

The Wall vs. Total Package

Tables match because of course it is. Russo comes out with Liz because this show is all about him. It also allows Wall to get in some cheap shots but that’s just a nice effect. Cue Ric Flair to sit in on commentary and promise to keep Russo out of things. Luger gets kneed in the ribs and stopped with a backbreaker. That’s about it for Wall on offense though as Luger comes back with every single standard Luger move that you’ve ever seen.

They fight outside with Luger yelling at Russo, allowing Wall to get in a shot from behind. Wall and Luger head back inside as Russo hits Flair with the bat. Now how did he not see that coming? Luger Racks Wall but Russo hits Luger with the back as well, making Luger drop Wall through the table for the win. In the match with no rules but a tables stipulation which I guess you call yourself.

Rating: D. It’s a Russo night for sure. Here we have another tables match for Wall and he loses again because that’s all he does after weeks of being built up as an unstoppable monster. That’s the logical progression right? Unstoppable to loser in the span of a month? In Russo’s booking, that’s slow motion.

Russo asks Flair if he wants a match now. Flair gets inside and Russo hides behind Liz, only to get kicked low. Flair puts on the Figure Four but Douglas and Bagwell make the save, only to be beaten down by Kronik. This brings out Kidman, who drew Flair’s name.

Ric Flair vs. Kidman

This is joined in progress with Flair punching away in the corner. Tony: “If you’re keeping score at home and I know that you are.” You have to be at this point. Kidman gets in a few shots of his own and superplexes Flair. They fight near a table at ringside but save it for later. A slingshot legdrop keeps Flair in trouble but Kidman’s top rope splash completely misses.

Cue Konnan and Mysterio to beat down Flair but here’s Nash to probably beat them down and shave their heads with one arm tied behind his back and two broken legs. Kidman runs as Konnan gets Jackknifed, only to have Hogan knock Kidman off the stage. I’m assuming the match is thrown out.

Mike Awesome runs to the ring but gets double teamed by Nash and Hogan. That really shouldn’t surprise you as he might make them break a sweat and must be destroyed immediately. Nash Jackknifes Awesome and declares Awesome the winner due to outside interference.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Vampiro

Sting jumps Vampiro from behind, beats him up, covers him in blood and throws him in for the Diamond Cutter in less than a minute.

The New Blood is all shook up.

The Millionaire’s Club on the other hand is rather pleased.

Mike Awesome vs. Sting

Now normally this would be an interesting match. Here I’ll be shocked if it goes three minutes before someone interferes. Awesome sells the Jackknife on the way to the ring. Mike is right on Sting when he gets to the ring and slams him down, followed by a splash for two. Sting fights back and knocks Awesome to the floor, where the Misfits In Action jump the barricade and beat him up. Back in and the Stinger Splash and Scorpion make Awesome tap. What a way for a face to get a win.

Scott Steiner is the last New Blood guy to go tonight so Russo tells him to make it work. Steiner says he’s doing this for himself.

Scott Steiner vs. Hulk Hogan

Non-title. This should have headlined a pay per view. The announcers are shocked that Steiner is calling Hogan out, even though Hogan is the only Millionaire left. Steiner promises to go see Hogan’s wife after the show. Not even Steiner is that crazy. Steiner is on Hogan as he gets in the ring but Hulk comes back with right hands and a clothesline. They fight into the crowd where Hugh Morrus shows up to help Hogan. Back in the ring and Steiner calls in the troops but no one comes to help him and Scott walks for the countout.

Steiner swears a lot in the back and chokes Russo and Bischoff.

A new limo pulls up with FUNB on the license plate.

Kronik vs. Shane Douglas/Buff Bagwell

Wait is this a title match? Also there better not be a single tag in this whole thing. It’s a brawl to start with Douglas doing a reverse Hennig neck snap on Adams. Douglas gets caught in something like an F5 but Adams puts him down in more like a DDT instead of a full body plant. Clark side slams Bagwell in the ring but Buff comes back with the Blockbuster (Tony: “Whatever it is.”). Adams makes the save and it’s High Times for the pin. Tony: “Are they the champions? We might have to wait until Slamboree to find out!”

Rating: D. I’m going to assume Kronik didn’t win the titles here because that would be one of the more logical things WCW could do and logic has no place in WCW these days. Bagwell and Douglas are such lame champions that I often forget they even have the titles. This was one of the more coherent matches of the night so far and it really wasn’t very good.

Bischoff says he has an idea.

Here’s the New Blood in the ring, all armed with weapons. Bischoff gets right to the point and asks if the fans want guerrilla warfare. Cue Flair and the Millionaire’s Club so Bischoff asks if they want an 11 on 11 man war. Flair says the Club has nothing left to prove tonight but if Bischoff wants to make it a battle royal for the World Title shot at the Great American Bash, so be it.

Battle Royal

Ric Flair, Sting, Brian Adams, Bryan Clark, Horace Hogan, Diamond Dallas Page, Hugh Morrus, Kanyon, Total Package, Curt Hennig, Hulk Hogan, Shawn Stasiak, Jeff Jarrett, Vampiro, Mike Awesome, Scott Steiner, Buff Bagwell, Shane Douglas, Chris Candido, Kidman, The Wall, The Cat

It’s a huge brawl to start of course and there are no referees so I guess we’re going on the honor system. We’re nearly three minutes in now and here come Konnan, Bam Bam Bigelow, Disco Inferno, Johnny the Bull, Big Vito, the Harris Twins, Norman Smiley and all three members of Harlem Heat to get us up to thirty two people in the ring at once.

Horace is the first man eliminated and there are now referees on the floor because WCW can’t keep its rules straight for a whole night. Tank Abbott slowly comes to the ring as Flair is on the floor hitting Shane with a pipe. You would think they would eliminate a few people here but that’s too complicated around here. Kanyon gets backdropped out and there’s still no way to do any play by play with thirty people in the ring. Stasiak dumps Hennig and the ring is still so full that almost no one can move.

Kronik is eliminated at the same time off camera and we take a break. Back with the ring still crowded but a little bit better. I’m not even going to try to figure out who was eliminated during the break as most of these guys have no chance anyway. Some of the bigger names have weapons to make it even more complicated. Luger, Bagwell, Sting and Vampiro go out but keep brawling on the floor.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. and Lash Leroux came in at some point and eliminate Vito. Big T. and Van Hammer go out but Asya and Madusa come out to take their places. Mona comes in to join them as the people are starting to get tired. Cue Jim Duggan of all people as the women and a man we couldn’t see are put out. Duggan eliminates Bigelow and the Cat with the 2×4. Smiley and Tank are knocked out as well but Duggan eliminates himself due to high levels of stupid.

So we have Flair, Awesome, Stasiak, Candido, Kidman, Hogan, Jarrett, Douglas, Wall and Page in the ring. That’s not enough though as we cut to the FUNB limo and see a pair of boots get out. Naturally the camera just shows boots and we go to a wide shot to show the boots walking on the video screen. The boots make it to the entrance and it’s…..RANDY SAVAGE. He fires ax handles to the New Blood and puts out Stasiak, Wall and Awesome in about ten seconds.

Candido is tossed a few seconds later but Savage drops to the floor to go after him. I guess that’s an elimination. Page Cactus Clotheslines Jarrett to the floor to leave us with Hogan, Flair, Douglas and Kidman. They pair off and here’s Bret Hart with a chair to blast Hogan, knocking him through the ropes to the floor. So through the ropes counts? Then why are Flair and Douglas still in? Could it be because the script didn’t call for them to be eliminated earlier and rules can be twisted to suit Russo’s grand vision?

Bret walks out so it’s Flair and Douglas as Kidman is backdropped out. Flair puts Shane in the Figure Four but here’s Russo with the ball bat…..and he accidentally hits Douglas. I guess being the manliest man that ever lived doesn’t include hand eye coordination. Flair uses the bat to knock Shane out for the win and the title shot.

Rating: D. You know what this had me thinking of? The South Park episode where it wound up in a massive lawsuit with everyone vs. everyone. It’s total anarchy and you lose track of what’s going on. The match started with 22 people and that had nearly doubled with all the people coming in. How am I supposed to care about any of this or let it have any kind of an impact, especially with most of the match consisting of people not being able to move due to the ring being crowded? This is Russo’s deal: take away any form of storytelling and just throw them all out there. Such great writing. The big surprises helped but it was too late.

Post match Hogan gets on the steps to suplex Kidman through the announcers’ table but Bischoff hits the knee with a ball bat to knock Hogan through it instead. Bischoff counts a three and raises Kidman’s hand because that’s supposed to mean something. Yeah it’s symbolism or something but it’s still stupid.

We’re STILL not done though as Jarrett and Page climb up the scaffold. The camera cuts to Savage helping Hogan up and they do the handshake. We cut back to Page, who apparently was knocked off the scaffold and through a table. Tony, in a totally calm and rational voice: “Page has been knocked off the scaffolding. We’ll see what this means at Slamboree.” Just like that. No emotion, no worry, nothing.

The worst part is that wasn’t even the original planned ending. From what I’ve found, Arquette was supposed to hit Jarrett with the guitar and knock him through the stage. However, Asya accidentally stepped through the gimmicked part of the stage and Arquette fell in later, leaving Page to take an unscripted bump through a table. Only in WCW. I mean ONLY in WCW. Who else could screw up something that badly?

Overall Rating: F+. It’s another night of non-wrestling with a bunch of short matches that they drew out of a hat. If that’s not enough, the last half hour of the show was just taking almost the entire roster and throwing them into one match with no build. As I’ve said, Russo is the laziest writer I’ve ever seen as his stories revolve around the idea that everything is all over the place with no structure or build to anything. This didn’t make me want to see Sunday’s show and felt like something you put on when you forgot you had a show to put on. Bad wrestling, bad writing, bad execution, bad everything this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Reviewing the Review: Night of Champions 2015

So here’s the thing: it’s pretty clear to me that there’s no point in doing one of these things for every Raw. Far more often than not on the TV shows I’ll have to stretch to come up with something to talk about and I can’t stand it when someone writes just to fill in space. I don’t want that to be the case here and I’m not going to do a Reviewing the Review for each week of Raw.

If there’s a major point or two that I don’t touch on in the weekly column I’ll do a separate post for it, but I’m not going to waste my own or far more importantly your time with stuff like “Rusev and Ziggler did this to build to their next match. It’s not great but I’ve seen worse,” seven times a week with one or two in depth topics. I’ll do one for every pay per view and major Raw’s (like this week’s) but it’s stupid to sit around typing and not saying anything if there’s nothing important.

As for Night of Champions, the show was built up very well given what they had to work with. Sting vs. Rollins was destined to be a mess instead a coherent match and that’s best for everyone involved. Other than that we have Cena vs. Rollins, which will be good but nothing we haven’t seen before. That being said, this looked good on paper and that’s more than you can say about most B shows.

The pre-show match was a six man tag where Stardust/Ascension beat Neville/Lucha Dragons in a totally standard match that did nothing for me. Neville and the Dragons did their dives and high spots but Neville tried one too many and got taken out by the Queen’s Crossbow. The match didn’t advance the story but they did a rematch the next night (another reason not to do these things every week: so many rematches without anything significantly changing).

Kevin Owens won the Intercontinental Title from Ryback by raking the eyes. This sets up a nice story going forward as Ryback knows he can beat Owens in a straight up fight but Kevin spends weeks ducking him. Well as many weeks as there are until we get to Hell in a Cell because WWE doesn’t get the idea that you can have another match in between title matches and not everything has to be linear. It’s cool to see Owens getting something after his feud with Cena ended and this is better than nothing. They’ll screw up his reign of course but you have to expect that in WWE.

Ziggler and Rusev had a long match that ended when Summer threw a shoe and hit Rusev by mistake, setting up the Zig Zag for the pin. These two had a good story going but then Lana’s wrist injury crippled whatever they had going. Now it’s just the two of them running around in circles having lame matches without Lana being around to make things more interesting. People complain about Lana being weaker without Rusev, but could it have anything to do with her being a side player to Ziggler’s repetitive antics. I’m sure the solution is to put her back with Rusev so it can start all over again right?

New Day retained the Tag Team Titles over the Dudleyz via DQ in a hilariously entertaining match. This was all about Xavier Woods at ringside being the most annoying pest he could doing whatever things came to his mind. This is how comedy acts are supposed to go. Notice how much more entertaining Woods has been because he mixes things up.

That’s what got on my nerves about people like Santino and Eric Young: they would do the exact same stuff over and over again and almost never added anything new. Woods is doing the trombone thing every week but he changes what he plays and shouts enough different stuff to keep it from getting boring. New Day is an absolute blast and I haven’t had this much fun with an act in a long time.

Charlotte finally won the Divas Title from Nikki Bella in a rather strange match. Charlotte tweaked her knee early on and didn’t get in any offense until the very end when she hit a spear and hoked the Figure Eight for the win. Now this can be looked in a few different ways. First of all, there’s the idea that Nikki had to keep the pressure on Charlotte but as soon as Charlotte got in a single shot she had Nikki beat. On the other hand, it might have been a way to keep Nikki from having to do any actual wrestling and to just let her do stuff to Charlotte’s leg.

On the third hand, maybe it was a legitimate injury and Nikki had to carry things. Either way, it was an entertaining match and Charlotte took the title after Nikki got the all important record. By all important I mean important to WWE alone but I’m sure they think the fans are thrilled. You know, all 800,000 of them that watch Total Divas, none of whom watch WWE already and all of whom I’m sure worship Nikki Bella. Either way, this might actually lead somewhere with the Divas Revolution, even though it died a month ago. Also of note: Ric Flair came out to celebrate and looked happier than he has in years. That’s nice to see.

The Shield boys’ mystery partner was Chris Jericho. This is the ham sandwich of choices: it’s fine, but nothing that is going to blow the roof off the place. The live crowd seemed to like it though and that’s always a big help. It’s pretty clear that this feud is likely going on for a long time until Ambrose and Reigns realize the only way to stop the Wyatts is to do the unthinkable and reunite the Shield. That’s fine for an idea and the response when it finally happens, even if it’s clear where they’re going, is going to be incredible.

The match itself was fine as Jericho, though older now, is at least still able to work a one off match like this. Strowman looked like a monster out there and that’s all he needed to be. Notice that Reigns and Ambrose got to stagger him and even knock him off his feet but not much more. Eventually Strowman is going to lose and most of his character will change, but they’re taking their time getting there to make it feel like a big deal.

John Cena got the US Title back from Rollins with a clean pin in easily the match of the night. These two work well together but like so many other things in WWE, the match has been run into the ground so badly that it’s almost impossible to get fired up for it again. They did the trading big shots formula by skipping the buildup part, which made for a much more entertaining match. I don’t need to see it again, which is why we saw it again the following night on Raw. I’m also not wild on the World Champion losing a clean fall, but that’s apparently par for the course these days.

Cena gave Rollins an AA on the floor before Sting came out to make things a bit more realistic. Yeah the deck was stacked against Rollins, but at the end of the day there’s almost no way you can have Sting beat Rollins when he’s nearly thirty years older and barely ever wrestles. Sting did everything he could here and pulled off an entertaining match which is all you can ask for. The story here was Sting’s neck/spine getting jacked up by the buckle bomb, which hopefully doesn’t end his career. Rollins retained with a rollup and that’s about as good as they were going to be able to do. Fun match and as good as they could do it.

Sheamus tried to cash in but was foiled by the returning Demon Kane, which we’ll get more into later. I knew they weren’t doing the real cash-in here because this was the annual cash-in tease that doesn’t go anywhere at this time of year because the briefcase has only been hanging over our heads for three months now.

Night of Champions was quite the entertaining show with almost nothing bad and a really fun match between Rollins and Cena. They’ve got some momentum heading into Hell in a Cell with Undertaker vs. Lesnar being a good choice to headline a B level show. Unfortunately no one is going to be watching because of Monday Night Football but at least the people who are sticking around are getting some good shows.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Night of Champions 2015: Night Of People Really Overachieving

Night of Champions 2015
Date: September 20, 2015
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is the definition of a B level pay per view but there are some interesting stories to bolster things up between Summerslam and Survivor Series. The big story tonight is Seth Rollins defending both the United States and WWE World Titles against John Cena and Sting respectfully. Other than that we’ll get to find out who Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose’s partner is against the Wyatt Family. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Stardust/Ascension vs. Lucha Dragons/Neville

Stardust and Neville have been feuding for a few weeks now and the teams were brought in to make the battle even bigger. Konor easily counters Cara’s sunset flip with some choking but Cara comes back with a spinning cross….headbutt to the arm. Off to Stardust vs. Kalisto with Konor getting in a cheap shot to help his partner. With the announcers debating whether the Ascension are Stardust’s henchmen, Kalisto headscissors Stardust down and all six come in for a standoff. The bad guys are sent to the floor with the Dragons hitting stereo suicide dives and Neville adding an Asai moonsault as we take an early break.

Back with Viktor shouldering Kalisto into the corner to take over. Stardust comes in and works on the arm before it’s back to Viktor, who puts Kalisto on top. You don’t put a luchador on the top rope though as he hits a great looking hurricanrana and makes the tag off to Neville. We hit the series of kicks and a middle rope Phoenix splash gets two. Stardust’s Disaster Kick misses and Neville goes up top, only to have Stardust shove Viktor into the corner. Neville staggers into the Queen’s Crossbow for the pin at 9:46.

Rating: C-. Fine enough match here as Neville got to come in and clean house while the feud gets to keep going for another month or so. They’re letting this one fly under the radar a bit and it’s giving everyone involved something to do. Above all else it lets them do something unique instead of wasting time on a nowhere feud.

Opening video: “Tonight is a night of champions.” Dang you mean they canceled Jackpot Bowling with Milton Berle? The main people on the roster tonight talk about how big the show is before going into a video on Rollins’ two challengers.

Intercontinental Title: Ryback vs. Kevin Owens

Ryback is defending and this could go either way. Owens just decided he wanted the title one night and has been messing with Ryback ever since. The champion comes out second which never sits well with me. Ryback starts fast and wants Owens to bring it on. Kevin charges at him but gets gorilla pressed out to the floor. Back up and Owens sends Ryback arm first into the post, which takes away a lot of Ryback’s power game. Owens, the big crowd favorite here, slowly pounds Ryback down before sending the bad arm into the buckle again.

We hit the armbar on the champ for a bit before he fights up with a powerslam. A spinebuster gets two for Ryback and he scores with the Meathook, which Cole identifies as a regular clothesline. Well to be fair it was off the ropes instead of from the corner. The Shell Shock doesn’t work as the arm gives out and Ryback goes arm first into the post again. Owens’ armbar doesn’t work as Ryback powers him up into the Shell Shock again, only to have Kevin rake the eyes and roll him up for the pin and the title at 9:30.

Rating: C+. Set the injury up, pay the injury off in the ending, give a young guy a title. I have no complaints off this one and the match was fun in the process. Owens winning with an old school cheating tactic makes it even better. This was more fun than I was expecting and I’m very pleased with the result.

Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar is announced for Hell in a Cell. Well that’s quite the main event.

We recap Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev.  These two had been feuding along with Lana and Summer Rae respectfully, but now that Lana is on the shelf, Ziggler bought Summer some earrings and wasn’t clear on what his intentions were.

Rusev is livid at Summer.

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph has long tights now. Ziggler scores with a quick dropkick to knock Rusev to the floor but he comes back in for a shot to the ribs and a chinlock. As this is going on, we get a nice discussion of the Divas keeping diaries. Ziggler’s sleeper doesn’t work as Rusev throws him outside for a ram into the apron. An ugly small package gets two for Dolph but Rusev slams him back down, followed by a chinlock.

A WE WANT LANA chant fires Dolph up and he’s able to avoid a charge, sending Rusev into the buckle. Ziggler’s Fameasser attempt doesn’t work and Rusev’s swinging Rock Bottom gets two. Rusev’s knee hits the buckle as well, setting up the Fameasser for two more. A kick to the head has Ziggler in even more trouble but he comes back with the sleeper as this match just keeps going.

Now the superkick gets two for Rusev and he can’t believe it was just a near fall. The Accolade doesn’t work and Ziggler comes up with a mostly missed superkick for two of his own. Summer gets on the apron and is accidentally knocked into the ring, earning her an ejection. She throws in a shoe and hits Rusev by mistake, setting up the Zig Zag for the pin at 13:38.

Rating: D+. WAY too long here and I lost interest about halfway through at best. This feud is all about the drama and not the in ring action because we were supposed to have the mixed tag until Lana’s wrist injury screwed everything up. Rusev getting pinned used to be a huge deal and now it’s happened twice in a week.

Summer looks terrified.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Dudley Boyz

New Day is defending and already lost to the Dudleyz in a non-title match. Before the match, New Day declares that our furniture is in danger. After praising their mentor (Jake from State Farm) it’s time for a SAVE…THE TABLES chant until the Dudleyz cut them off. I love the Dudleyz but I could watch New Day for hours. D-Von and Kofi get things going as Woods starts a trombone recital.

The Dudleyz scare the champs out to the floor until it’s time for Bubba vs. Big E., the latter of whom tells the old man to go home. Big E. takes over and goes up top, only to get superplexed down for two. Woods: “BUBBA! DO NOT DO THIS!” The distraction works as Kofi is able to dropkick Bubba in the back to take over. We hit the rotating stomps (complete with more tromboning), followed by a splash on the apron to give E. two.

New Day starts some double teaming with Kofi firing off rights and lefts, meaning Woods plays Gonna Fly Now (theme from Rocky). I haven’t been this entertained in a long time. Kofi springboards into a Bubba Bomb, setting up the hot tag to D-Von. House is quickly cleaned and the reverse 3D drops Big E. The regular 3D looks to finish Kofi but Woods comes in for the DQ at 10:16.

Rating: B. The wrestling may not have been the best in the world but Xavier Woods and that trombone is as pure gold as anything I’ve seen around this company in YEARS. The entire group is one of the funniest ideas in a long time and goes to show you what can happen when you find a hot act. Great stuff here and the rematch should be fun.

Post match Big E. loads up a table, only to have the Dudleyz fight back and 3D Woods through the table. JBL: “It’s the night the music died.”

We recap Nikki Bella’s title reign and breaking the record on Monday.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Charlotte

Nikki is defending and can lose the title via DQ or countout. Charlotte takes her into the corner to start but a shoulder to the ribs puts Charlotte on the floor. She tweaks her knee on the landing though and Nikki has a target. A kick to the knee staggers Charlotte again and Nikki powerbombs her off the apron for a big thud. Back in and Nikki puts on a leg lock as the announcers thankfully acknowledge that the Women’s Title and the Divas Title are two different titles with two different lineages.

A snap suplex sends the knee into the ropes again and Nikki does some pushups. Nikki slams the knee into the mat a few more times for two each and wraps it around the post. Brie and Alicia try to help on a half crab but Nikki yells at them for almost getting her disqualified. Makes sense. Charlotte comes back with a neckbreaker but the knee gives out again. There’s a spear though and the Figure Eight ends Nikki’s reign at 13:42.

Rating: B-. Uh well um ok then. They were getting somewhere with that knee and then Charlotte just popped up and won the title. I’m glad the title reign is finally over but it was such a strange way to get to the ending. Still though, really good match here and the best WWE Divas match in a very long time.

Ric Flair comes out to cry his eyes out over the title win.

Owens denies cheating and is happy to finally have a prize. It’s no secret how great he really is. Nice line there.

The kickoff panel chats for a bit.

Team PCB asks Ric if he knows a place to party in Houston. You know, he just might. Ric looks so genuinely proud here and it’s really cool to see.

We recap the Wyatt Family vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose. These teams have been fighting on and off for over a year and now the Wyatts have the monster Braun Strowman with them. Reigns and Ambrose have a mystery partner to help fight Strowman.

Wyatt Family vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/???

A fan tries to run in and Wyatt asks if that’s their guy. The mystery partner is……CHRIS JERICHO. Well it’s not Rowan or Kane so this is totally acceptable. Ambrose and Harper get things going with the good guy taking over before it’s off to Jericho for the required YOU STILL GOT IT chant. Reigns and Ambrose come in to try their luck on Strowman but he shoulders both of them down.

Jericho tries to dive onto Braun but the glorified cruiserweight is caught and thrown out to the floor for his efforts. Strowman throws Ambrose in for a beating before tagging off to Bray. This works a bit better for Dean as he grabs a neckbreaker, allowing for the tag off to Reigns. Harper comes in with his right hands and sitout powerbomb, only to have Roman fire off his corner clotheslines. Strowman offers a distraction though and Harper scores with a superkick for two.

The Wyatts take turns on Roman with Bray sending him to the floor for a suicide dive. Reigns finally gets in an elbow to the jaw, allowing the tag off to Jericho. Chris dropkicks Braun off the apron in a smart move and slaps the Walls on Bray until Harper makes the save. Dean comes in and both Dirty Deeds and Sister Abigail are countered.

A double clothesline puts both guys down and it’s off to Reigns vs. Strowman with the Superman Punch FINALLY connecting. It takes three of them to stagger Braun but Dean’s top rope elbow puts him down. Jericho tags himself in for a Lionsault for two with Braun launching him off the cover. Everyone else brawls at ringside so it’s that spinning Big Ending from Strowman, followed by the choke to knock Jericho out at 13:36.

Rating: C+. This felt like a way to keep the feud going and there’s nothing wrong with that. I love the idea of two teams feuding because that’s what they do no matter what. Jericho coming in there to lose is fine and it’s a cool idea to build up to Roman finally knocking off the giant. Good stuff here and a fun match.

Jericho intentionally bumps into Ambrose as he leaves. Dean seems pleased with Jericho’s moxie.

The Authority gives Rollins a pep talk. Sheamus comes in and says he’s ready too.

We recap Seth Rollins’ road to tonight, starting with winning the World Title at Wrestlemania (in case you haven’t had that beaten into your head enough yet), being the Authority’s attention starved child, and then winning a second title from John Cena at Summerslam. Oh and his statue was destroyed in a very novel move.

US Title: John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Seth is defending of course. We get the big match intros here and Rollins is in the white attire again. The fans are all over Cena to start and things get even worse with Rollins charging into an elbow for two. Rollins comes back with a kick to the ribs and some trash talk as he seems to be trying to conserve energy.

We hit an early sleeper on Cena before Cena is put in the Tree of Woe for a top rope double stomp in an awesome looking spot. Cena’s rollup gets two and he sidesteps a splash (which looked very Stingy) in the corner. He takes too long setting up the Shuffle, allowing Rollins to try a kick to the head, only to have Cena pull him to his feet into a sunset bomb for two. The AA is countered but Cena hurricanranas his way out of the buckle bomb to send Seth into the corner instead.

Seth flips out of the AA again and the low superkick gets two for the champ. They’ve skipped the opening part of the match here and have went straight to the back and forth bombs. Seth misses the frog splash and the Eddie chants pipe up, even though it was more like a Five Star Frog Splash. Cena comes back with the tornado DDT for two and goes up top, only to have Rollins run the ropes into a superplex.

That’s not enough though as he floats over into a regular suplex for two, leaving both guys spent. Another AA is countered into a rollup but Seth muscles Cena up into a buckle bomb for two. Back up and Rollins rolls through a cross body to try an AA on Cena. Thankfully they only tease the finisher stealing as Cena counters into a reverse suplex, followed by the AA for the pin and the title at 15:43.

Rating: A-. As repetitive as these two have become, this was one of their better matches because they just went straight for the big spot trading instead of trying to do anything slow paced. Rollins wanting to end it fast made the most sense and it was a better match as a result. Cena getting the US Title back makes the most sense and we might even get the Open Challenge back as a result. Good stuff.

Rollins tries to bail but Cena gives him another AA on the floor and here’s Sting.

WWE World Heavyweight Title: Sting vs. Seth Rollins

Sting goes right after him to start and quickly sends the champ out to the floor. They’re pretty clearly going for the brawl here as Sting sends him into the barricade. Rollins tries to get away over the barricade but sting pulls him back to the table. Seth gets in his first offense by shoving Sting through the table before grabbing his title. He changes his mind about leaving though and comes back to slam Sting onto the broken table.

Back in and a falcon’s arrow gets two on Sting and Seth is starting to get frustrated. There’s a buckle bomb for two. The Pedigree is countered and Sting breaks up a springboard by shoving Seth into the barricade for the second time. Two Stinger Splashes crush Rollins so he heads outside, only to have Sting dive off the top with a cross body. Back in and the Death Drop gets two out of nowhere with Rollins having to put his foot on the bottom rope.

Another Stinger Splash sets up right hands in the corner but Seth counters into another buckle bomb. Seth tries a clothesline but Sting collapses to the mat. The doctor checks on Sting as he gets back up and it’s going to continue. Sting counters the Pedigree into a weak Deathlock. Thankfully Seth is quickly in the ropes and comes back with an enziguri to the bald spot. The Pedigree is countered into another Scorpion attempt but Seth rolls him up to retain at 15:13.

Rating: B+. This was WAY better than it had any right to be with the ending making enough sense. I really didn’t need to have Sting as the World Champion because, whether WWE wants to admit it or not, he’s one of the biggest stars ever and doesn’t need this title to validate himself. Good match though as Sting pulls another rabbit out of his hat. Though hopefully not by the ears because that’s just cruel.

Sheamus comes out immediately and it’s on! Rollins misses a belt shot and Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick but here’s Kane in the mask to chokeslam Rollins. Sheamus wants Kane to give him one more but Kane chokeslams Sheamus instead. A tombstone to Rollins ends the show. Yes seriously, it ends with Kane standing tall and likely setting up the title match inside the Cell.

Overall Rating: A. Well that worked. This was another show that completely overachieved and had no business being nearly as good as it was. This goes up another notch if they somehow got rid of that stupid briefcase and weren’t setting up Kane inside the Cell for the title, but that match had to happen at some point. Rollins is ready to be the star of tomorrow and it’s going to happen one day soon. Really fun show here with only the Rusev vs. Ziggler match not being good to awesome.

Results

Kevin Owens b. Ryback – Rollup

Dolph Ziggler b. Rusev – Zig Zag

Dudley Boyz b. New Day via DQ when Xavier Woods interfered

Charlotte b. Nikki Bella – Figure Eight

Wyatt Family b. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/Chris Jericho – Choke to Jericho

John Cena b. Seth Rollins – Attitude Adjustment

Seth Rollins b. Sting – Small package

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Night of Champions 2015 Preview

I’ve been very impressed by this year’s build. Night of Champions is one of those shows that I don’t care about most of the time but this year they’ve managed to make me want to see where it’s going. I don’t think it’s going to be a classic or anything but it’s better than most of the stuff this show has done in the last few years. Let’s get to it.

As usual we’ll start on the pre-show where I’ll take Neville/Lucha Dragons over Ascension/Stardust. Since this isn’t Smackdown, WWE will have to do everything they can to destroy the Ascension, who they keep giving pushes to, only to snatch them back away. It should be a fun match and I’m always a fan of throwing a six man tag on a show, especially when it makes sense like this one does. It’s a solid choice for an opener and this should be fun.

Now we get to the main draw of the show with Seth Rollins defending two titles in one night. This is another interesting idea and Rollins is the kind of guy who could pull off something like this. By something like this, I mean dancing around like the Authority’s puppet while they talk about their charities and try to be fun parents for the fans because it’s another month, meaning they’ve turned face again without ever actually doing anything to make us like them.

First up we’ll look at the big main event with Sting challenging for the World Title. For the life of me I can’t imagine him taking the belt here. When you consider that just six months ago, this same company was jobbing Sting in a one night rehash of the Monday Night Wars, I can’t imagine that they’re going to put the title on him here, even if it’s for a month or even five minutes before Sheamus cashes in. Rollins retains here.

And no cash-in. We get this teasing of a cash-in every fall and then it normally happens in the winter/spring. It’s the same repetitive idea that they do every year and if this company is one thing, it’s not likely to change an idea that they like.

As for the other title, I’m thinking Cena takes it back. There’s no real reason to keep both belts on Rollins and it opens the door for the Authority to look down on him because that’s how they treat everyone. This should be their usual classic, and by usual I mean it’s their ninth TV/PPV match since last summer. Oh and if Cena wins here, we could have a rematch! But yeah Cena gets the belt back, softening Seth up for Sting’s failed World Title attempt.

I’ll take the Dudleyz to win the titles for one last nostalgia run, only to lose them back by TLC at the latest, probably in a tables match. This has been a great feud so far with the SAVE THE TABLES stuff being hysterical. It should be a fun match but I think Bubba and D-Von get number 10 in WWE and number like 384 or whatever it is now.

Ziggler over Rusev, likely with Summer helping him. Now if they wanted to do something smart, they would have Ziggler dump Summer as soon as she tries to side with him. However, I doubt they’re that clever and we probably get Ziggler’s latest hot girlfriend, which fits him SO much better than being Lana’s knight in shining trunks.

Nikki retains the title. Why? Because that makes the least sense. Nikki has already gotten everything there is to get, so now it’s time to let her keep it even longer because she’s a STAR. Like, she’s on THREE shows a week instead of the rest of WWE who are only on two. Well except for the people who are still in NXT but why worry about them when we can see the Bellas as Kardashian wannabes? Oh and the rest of the cast being horrible people and such too. There’s always that.

I’m split on this so I’ll flip a coin to decide Ryback vs. Owens. Then I’ll flip it again because I forgot to pick heads or tails for either side. I’ll take Ryback to win the title but this really could go either way. Owens is starting to pick up steam again but Ryback has been the best champion in a LONG time. I could see this going either way but I’ll say Ryback retains. This definitely isn’t over with just one match though.

Finally, Kane is the mystery partner and the Wyatts win anyway. It’s been too long since we’ve seen Kane in the ring and that means it’s time for him to come back for another run where he gets the spot that could go to someone who actually needs a rub. Having Kane under the mask again would work well enough but it’s going to feel like a letdown if/when it’s him all over again.

Overall I’m cautiously excited for this show, which looked like nothing coming in but has turned into a pretty solid card. I’m not seeing a masterpiece coming or anything but I’ll take a totally watchable show over some of the drek WWE is capable of producing. Rollins is in an interesting spot and there are a few combinations that could come out of this for him, making this all the more interesting. This should be fun, which is almost all you can ask for out of a B PPV.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro – April 24, 2000: He’s A Man! Such A Man!

Monday Nitro #237
Date: April 24, 2000
Location: Blue Cross Arena, Rochester, New York
Attendance: 7,713
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

I’m not sure where they’re supposed to go from here but something needs to change. Last week’s show was another mess to sit through as this era is starting off as a combination of boring and horrible with the bosses and Hogan being the featured attractions. Slamboree is in two weeks and the main event will be DDP vs. Jeff Jarrett in the triple cage. Let’s get to it.

We recap last week. When you cut this down to a minute, it actually makes sense. It’s really bad writing and not a good show, but you can tell what’s going on.

Sting and Vampiro are brawling in the back with Sting getting the better of it until Vampiro hits him with a pipe.

Hardcore Title: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Terry Funk

Funk is defending but Bigelow attacks in the aisle with a trashcan. The Cat comes out for revenge after Bigelow beat him up at Spring Stampede but Bigelow is able to put Funk in a trashcan and beat on it with a chair. Cat comes in and kicks the chair into Bigelow’s face, allowing Funk to cover him to retain in less than two minutes.

Cat dances a bit as Madden sums up how stupid this was.

We recap Hogan being a psycho last week, leading to the end of the show where Bret was about to hit either him or Kidman. The announcers should have seen who Bret hit but they won’t actually say who it was.

Here are Kidman and Torrie with the former having taped ribs. Kidman is here tonight to show that no one wants to see the yellow and red anymore. He’ll finish this at Slamboree if Terry is there.

Bischoff and Kimberly aren’t pleased with what Kidman did.

Norman Smiley begs Russo for a chance to get the Hardcore Title back. Russo agrees, if Smiley can find a partner to make it a handicap match at Slamboree.

Here are Kimberly, Bischoff and Jarrett with something to say. David Arquette is in the front row because that is our fate. Jarrett promises to hurt Page in the triple cage at Slamboree and shows us clips of the cage from Ready to Rumble. He’ll beat Page and neglect him, just like Page did to his wife. Bischoff, on a wireless mic, says Kimberly has a gift for Page. She has some papers for him, but here’s Page in an Albert Einstein shirt of all things. Kimberly says she’s in the driver’s seat for the first time and talks about Eric opening her eyes to these stupid wrestling marks.

The papers are for a divorce but Page thinks she’s out of her mind. Page says no way but calls Kimberly some insulting names instead. He goes after Bischoff and gets a guitar to the back for his efforts. Arquette jumps the barricade to go after Bischoff and Kanyon runs in to save Arquette from Jarrett. Bischoff freaks out and says he’ll fight Arquette tonight. David agrees, but if he wins, Page gets a World Title match against Jarrett in the cage tonight.

In case it wasn’t clear enough already, this segment showed that Jeff Jarrett, the World Heavyweight Champion, is a supporting character on this show. He’s beneath the writers and Hogan, plus probably Sting vs. Vampiro. Now he’s beneath Page and David Arquette, putting the World Heavyweight Champion as the eighth most important character on this show.

Kronik demands a title shot from Vince Russo, who of course stands up to them and asks if they know who he is. They’ll get their shot if they do him a favor. This segment existed for no other reason that to remind you that Vince Russo is a MAN.

Bischoff sends Jarrett to go find Billy Kidman. The World Champion is officially an errand boy.

Chris Candido/Tammy vs. The Artist/Paisley

This could be a really long night. Tammy says she’s here to show Paisley what men want. The guys start and knock each other down in about fifteen seconds. It’s off to the women for a double cover, followed by the required catfight. Everything breaks down and Tammy dives off the top to take Paisley and Artist down. That’s the most physical she’s ever gotten and she didn’t terrible at it. Back inside and Candido clotheslines Paisley giving Tammy the pin.

Sting comes out with a Death Drop to Candido. He wants Vampiro out here tonight and why not just make it first blood.

Kanyon and Page give Arquette a pep talk.

Team Package vs. Kronik

It’s a brawl to start and here’s Miss Hancock in case you’re already bored. In case the match and Hancock aren’t enough, Buff Bagwell runs in less than thirty seconds in, allowing Shane Douglas to hit Flair with a ball bat. High Time gives Adams the pin in just over a minute.

Buff and Douglas beat down Team Package a bit more until Buff hands Adams the bat, leading to Kronik beating them down as well.

Vampiro wants to make Sting bleed from the eyes so I guess the match is on.

Bischoff gives Kidman Mike Awesome for protection against Hogan tonight. Hogan is welcome to find a tag partner if he can. Also, Bischoff is guest referee for Kidman vs. Hogan at Slamboree. So after weeks of running scared from Hogan, Bischoff is totally fine with putting himself in the same ring with him. Makes as much sense as anything else here.

Mike Awesome/Kidman vs. Hulk Hogan

Kidman comes out in a Hogan shirt. Hulk comes out alone, in black pants and a black vest with F.U.N.B. on the back. Hogan hammers away at both guys to start and gives Awesome a whipping with the belt. A big boot and belly to back put Awesome down as Hogan is completely dominating him because that’s what Hogan does to someone young and full of potential. Hogan stops Mike’s comeback with a low blow so Kidman comes in to double team Hogan down.

As you might expect, Hogan fights back and we cut to a WWF Wrestling Buddy in the crowd. Awesome clotheslines Hogan down and drops a splash for two as Madden complains about the impending Hulk Up. There’s the second big boot to Awesome but Hogan drops elbows instead of going for the leg. They head outside with Hogan shoving Awesome into Madden’s face for no apparent reason. Kidman comes in with a chair to bust Hogan open as this match is getting a shocking amount of time.

It’s table time which feels as awkward and out of place in a Hogan match as wrestling does on a Russo show. Right after the powerbomb through the table, we cut to the back to see Nash coming in. Awesome puts Hogan on a second table and Kidman adds a top rope splash, followed by a legdrop for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match sucked from a technical standpoint (I’m as shocked as you are), but I’ll give them points for having the young guys win and for giving it some time. This is the kind of thing they need to do to actually get some people over, but unfortunately this is going to happen on an episode of Nitro, not at Slamboree where Hogan needs to put Kidman over. Also, at just under 11 minutes, I believe this is the second longest match of Russo and Bischoff’s tenure so far.

Nash hits the ring to clean house but Torrie hits him low, allowing Kidman and Awesome to get in their stompings.

Eric Bischoff vs. David Arquette

Again, remember that Bischoff is a karate expert and should be able to knock Arquette out in about ten seconds. Bischoff kicks him into the corner to start but David comes back with a spear, followed by the Worm for one of the loudest reactions of the night. Jarrett pulls the referee out at two and hits Page with the belt. Bischoff gets in a low blow on Arquette but Jeff guitars Eric by mistake, giving Arquette the pin.

The lights go out and Sting is watching from the rafters. This of course has nothing to do with what you’re currently watching.

One of the former NWO girls is now an interviewer (in a swimsuit of course) but can’t get in a word over Arquette’s celebrating.

Jarrett is livid.

Here are Scott Steiner and assorted women with something to say. He lists off all of the things he did last night (in rhyme because why not) and promises to floss Booker’s teeth with his shoelaces tonight. Booker comes out to explain that he only did what he did last week to make things up to Bischoff. Steiner just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The girls come up to Booker for the most obvious distraction in the history of obvious distractions. The guys brawl until it’s time for a break.

Russo tells Bagwell and Douglas that “we” have to go fight Kronik.

Tag Team Titles: Buff Bagwell/Shane Douglas vs. Kronik

The champs are in street clothes here as Kronik cleans house. Shane drops Clark face first with a suplex and the fans start the boring chant. Adams helps Clark drop Shane throat first across the top rope. It’s off to Adams to clean house but Buff throws the referee over the top. Hudson: “THAT’S BULL”…..and the rest isn’t censored, freaking Madden out. Buff takes High Times but that manly man Vince Russo comes in and hits Clark with a ball bat. Shane hits Adams with it as well. Nick Patrick goes to ring the bell but Russo hits him with a bat as well. Russo counts the pin on Adams to retain the titles.

Rating: D. As we’ve firmly established over the last few weeks and tonight in particular: Nitro exists to prove that Vince Russo is the toughest and most awesome man that has ever lived and he can beat up big goons like Kronik because he’s a real man from New York and a thousand times smarter than all these stupid wrestling marks. It also proves that the real money in WCW is manufacturing baseball bats because every body has one these days.

Here’s Tank Abbott for his weekly insulting of Goldberg. Madden panicking over Abbott wanting to hurt someone tonight is some of the only funny stuff he’s ever done. Tank throws WCW.com writer Bob Ryder into the ring and Jeremy Borash (who looks identical to how he looks now) fails at making a save. Tank finally leaves.

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Jarrett is defending and this is supposed to be inside a cage (complete with roof), which is why they’re already fighting in the crowd. Page hits him in the back with a trashcan but gets dropped onto a barricade. They finally get inside so Jarrett can stomp away, only to have Page whip him into the cage. Jarrett sends Page face first into the buckle and then into the cage twice in a row.

Page slugs away in the corner before the discus lariat puts Jarrett down. Cue Mike Awesome as Jarrett escapes the Diamond Cutter and counters with a DDT. There’s the Diamond Cutter but Awesome breaks into the cage. He breaks up the pin at two but Kanyon comes in and decks Awesome, allowing the referee to count the three about five seconds after the two, giving Page the title.

Rating: D. The WCW World Champion, who was crowned the chosen one eight days earlier, just lost the title in a cage match that didn’t last five minutes. Of that time, less than three minutes of were spent inside the cage. This was in addition to the two people interfering in the match, making the cage completely unnecessary. The gimmick overkill on this show astounds me more and more every single week.

Oh yeah that’s not the main event.

Vampiro vs. Sting

First blood. Sting takes too long getting unhooked from his repelling gear and Vampiro attacks, only to fight him off with ease because Vampiro is New Blood and therefore unable to win a fair fight with any old guy. Right hands and a suplex put Vampiro back on the floor. He gets on the announcers’ table and does a throat slit, causing a red liquid to fall on Sting (ripping off the Brood’s Bloodbath). Some of the New Blood comes out to beat Sting down as the fans really aren’t pleased.

The New Blood attaches the soaked Sting to the cable and hangs him from the ceiling to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. This took me most of the day to sit through on and off because it really is cringe worthy. The wrestling ranges from bad to very bad, the stories are all about Russo and Bischoff, and the World Title feud is now featuring David Arquette and three title changes in two weeks. The worst part is things are going to go downhill from here, making the entire show an even bigger disaster. This show is all about Russo/Bischoff/Hogan and it’s been easy to see that since the day the new stories started. It’s getting harder to sit through these things and the worst has just begun.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Raw Ratings Aren’t Great And It Shouldn’t Be A Surprise

http://www.f4wonline.com/more/more-top-stories/96-wwe-news/44533-raw-ratings-still-at-low-levels

I’m surprised Raw did as well as it did.  Here’s why.

The decline in ratings really isn’t surprising for a few major reasons.

1. Monday Night Football. Raw in the Attitude Era didn’t come close to Monday Night Football’s numbers and that’s never going to change. Monday Night Football is a juggernaut and always will be. There’s no way to get around this.

2. The Network. Raw is made available a month later. If I wanted to, I could watch every episode of Raw leading up to a pay per view and skip over the parts I don’t want to see. It’s quick, it’s easy, and WWE hypes the heck out of the Network every chance they can.

3. Did you know WWE.com does it’s own live Raw results? As in they say what’s going on during the show, making it easy to get a quick recap instead of watching the full show? This is in addition to the dozens of other sites that do the same.

4. It’s three hours a week. That’s WAY too much for most people and it’s overload. Consider Summerslam weekend. You had Takeover running two and a half hours plus a half hour pre-show, you had a four hour Summerslam plus a one hour pre-show, and then you had Raw, which was three hours plus a half hour pre-show. That’s eleven and a half hours of content in three days. Two shows are pay per views and one is fallout. Which are you most likely to cut out from your schedule?

5. As for last night, it’s hard to blame this on Sting. Yeah he was the main event, and we knew that a total of two and a half hours in advance. Instead the advertised matches featured Nikki Bella (with her crossover appeal from Total Divas of course, which has about a million viewers a week, a good percentage of which are probably already watching Raw) and the Prime Time Players, the latter of which was a title match with the winners getting to face the Dudleyz. Sting was announced as a last minute match and if you weren’t watching the show at some point, you didn’t know about it.

6. A lot of people don’t watch cable TV anymore, and why should they? With Netflix, Hulu and the WWE Network, there’s a ton of good material out there for way cheaper. For the people who still do have cable, there are roughly 1.38457 million channels to pick from these days. Couple that with DVR and people watching parts of the shows and the ratings shrinking really isn’t a big surprise.

I know they’re still the most common means of examining how well a show did, but is there a reason we’re still using the same measuring stick for the show that we used seventeen years ago? A lot has changed since then and of course there are going to be fewer people watching the same show. I’m stunned that it’s still as high as it is.

Oh and despite the ratings: the stock is at about $19 a share, or $4 higher than it was a year ago at this time. There might be something more to the company’s success than just the TV ratings, but again that’s all most people seem to care about.




Monday Night Raw – September 14, 2015: Dance Fever And Scorpion Double Shots

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 14, 2015
Location FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield

Tonight is the season premier, as WWE throws whatever it can at Monday Night Football to try and not get completely decimated in the ratings. The big match tonight is Charlotte challenging Nikki Bella for the Divas Title in Nikki’s first televised title defense in about two and a half months. Let’s get to it.

We open with a full recap of the statue story because just having Cole explain it in fifteen seconds would be too complicated.

Here’s the Authority walking down the ramp, which now has a Connor’s Cure logo. HHH and Stephanie talk about all the new talent that have showed up in the last year and a half. That group will lead the WWE into the new generation, which will be lead by Seth Rollins. HHH explains the double title defense on Sunday and that’s about it for Seth right now.

Stephanie explains the Divas Title situation and talks about how the Revolution has rocked everything. HHH has a major announcement for tonight: Sting will be wrestling his first match ever on Raw as he faces the Big Show. Stephanie introduces New Day for their title defense and the Authority dances with them.

So wait. They announced New Day vs. the Prime Time Players and the Divas Title in advance, but STING wrestling on Raw is announced with a few hours notice? These decisions continue to amaze me every single week, but at least they made sure to get Stephanie dancing to New Day’s entrance because she’s fun and cool that way. HHH dances a bit too.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Prime Time Players

New Day is defending with Woods on the floor as usual. Darren rolls Kofi up for a quick two before it’s off to Titus for a slam on Big E. We see the Dudleyz looking on as E. comes back with a belly to belly, meaning it’s time for some trombone playing. Back to the starters with Darren escaping the SOS and loading up the Gut Check, only to have Kofi tag out to Big E. The big guy sends Young into the post and it’s time for the rotating stomps, accompanied by more tromboning as we take a break.

Back with New Day still in control and Woods tormenting him with the trombone. Titus comes after them but gets called back by the referee. Woods: “DO NOT TOUCH MY TROMBONE!” Back in and Kofi snaps Darren’s throat across the top rope but he dives into some raised boots. Titus comes in off the tag to clean house and gives Kofi three straight backbreakers. A powerslam gets two on Big E. but Kofi gives Darren Trouble in Paradise on the floor. Woods offers a distraction and gets his trombone broken up, allowing the Midnight Hour to take Titus out for the pin at 12:15.

Rating: C. This was fine and a good way to set up New Day vs. the Dudleyz on Sunday. The Players have had their moment in the sun and it’s time to move on to a more interesting team. Darren and Titus are fine for a midcard team, but I don’t think anyone really bought them as a long term threat, which means they’re left as a nice role team.

New Day celebrates but the Dudleyz come out for a staredown.

Video of Sting at Starrcade 1988, part of a series of clips of his career. Pay no attention to the fact that that was a pretty worthless match.

Seth Rollins comes in to see the Authority and after praising the dance moves, he’s told to worry about Sunday. They do the New Day clap and that’s about it. This is another good example of a segment that didn’t need to be there.

We recap Charlotte making Nikki tap in a brawl last week.

Charlotte and Ric Flair are ready for the title match tonight and Ric praises the Divas division. They’re doing a great job of making this feel like a big deal.

Paige vs. Sasha Banks

It’s just Becky at ringside while Naomi and Tamina are out with Banks. Sasha snaps Paige’s arm across the middle rope to start and bends it around to put Paige in early trouble. Banks stomps on the arm in the corner instead of dropping the double knees before putting on an armbar.

Paige comes back with a knee in the corner and some kicks to the face for two as the announcers debate women’s tennis in an attempt to tie it into the Divas Revolution. A wicked German suplex sends Sasha down onto the back of her head and out to the floor in a heap. Paige tries to dive off the apron but Tamina pulls Sasha away, sending Paige crashing down as well. Back in and the Bank Statement puts Paige away at 5:15.

Rating: C. The potential for a Paige heel turn would seem to make sense and there’s nothing wrong with a story that might be this obvious. Once this team thing is done they can actually get on to something else instead of just running around in circles like they have been for weeks. The match was fine with that German suplex looking awesome, but I’ve lost interest in seeing them fight four times in two weeks. As usual, the word overkill doesn’t exist in WWE’s world.

We recap the Wyatt Family taking out Jimmy Uso and Randy Orton last week.

Video on Connor’s Cure.

It’s time for MizTV with special guests the Wyatt Family. Miz tells them to sit down but Bray tells Miz to not sit because he’s not safe here. After assuring Bray that he’s not the partner at Hell in a Cell (yes Hell in a Cell), Miz tries to talk to Strowman but Braun doesn’t say a word. Bray gets right in Miz’s face and says they’re coming to Night of Champions to show that no matter who comes at them, they all fall down. Cue Reigns and Ambrose in the crowd with Dean beating up Miz for trying to talk. Bray sits down as the other four stare at each other. Reigns calls Wyatt out for the attacks last week and promises to make him pay.

If Wyatt really was the man, he could have beaten Roman one on one but he just can’t do it. A real man wouldn’t have to surround himself with monsters. Reigns and Ambrose have found a third man for Night of Champions and they’re ready to win. Everyone stares each other down and the camera cuts out. This would be much better if they didn’t go to the announcers, meaning they’re sitting there talking while the guys are still in the ring.

Clip of Sting winning his first World Title at Great American Bash 1990.

John Cena vs. Sheamus

Sheamus’ headlock doesn’t get that far so he elbows Cena in the face instead. John is thrown to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Sheamus dropping a top rope knee for two before slapping on a sleeper. Cena pops up and hits the ProtoBomb followed by the Shuffle. A tornado DDT gets two on Sheamus but he comes back with an Edgeucator.

Cena grabs the ropes so Sheamus busts out the ten forearms instead. We get the same sequence with Cena using the STF and hitting some forearms of his own. The AA is blocked and Sheamus ax handles Cena in the face to take over again. Cena breaks up the Brogue Kick with a hard clothesline but can’t follow up. A powerslam drops Cena again but he sidesteps the top rope shoulder. Sheamus charges but Cena powers him up into a powerbomb position, only to flip him over into an electric chair drop. Back up and Sheamus tries the Regal roll, only to have Cena roll over into the AA for the pin at 14:49.

Rating: B. Good match here and I believe the first time Cena has pinned Sheamus in a singles match on TV. This was harkening back to the days of the US Open Challenge (you know, all those weeks ago) and continues to show that Cena can work a very good match with anyone you throw out there against him. Good stuff here.

Here’s Ryback with something to say. It’s appropriate that we’re in Memphis because Kevin Owens seems to have him all shook up. Ryback does a little Elvis and the silence is so deafening that he has to acknowledge it. As he starts to talk about Kevin Owens not being a real man, Owens cuts him off. Owens comes out with a copy of The Secret, which Ryback has credited with his rise to success.

He calls the book a joke and throws it to the floor while calling it a travesty that Ryback is the Intercontinental Champion. Ryback talks about how positive he is and how he fell on his face after rocketing to the top of the company. Owens says he’d take the title the first chance he got, so Ryback offers him a shot at Night of Champions. Kevin leaves without accepting. I really like the idea of these two fighting, but Ryback crediting his success to a book really doesn’t hold up for me.

The next Sting clip is Starrcade 1997, which is possibly the bullet that they never could recover from.

Stardust vs. Neville

The Lucha Dragons come out with Nevilel to counteract the Ascension. It’s a huge brawl to start with the Dragons diving through the ropes to take Ascension out. Neville hurricanranas Stardust to the floor but Ascension drags him away before Neville can dive. No match.

Nikki Bella video where she takes credit for the Divas Revolution. This was…..bad. Yeah that’s the only way to put it. It was bad.

Divas Title: Charlotte vs. Nikki Bella

Nikki is defending in case that’s not really clear. Charlotte takes her down to the mat and drops some knees. The figure four neck lock lets Charlotte rolls Nikki around the ring and tell her to bring it on. Nikki comes back by snapping Charlotte’s arm across the top rope and wringing it down onto the apron as we take a break.

Back with Nikki staying on the arm but Charlotte lifts her out of an armbar into a powerbomb to break it up. A big boot gets two for Charlotte but a dropkick to the shoulder gets the same for the champ. Charlotte scores with the spear but Alicia gets on the apron for a distraction. It’s Twin Magic time and Charlotte rolls Brie up for the pin at 10:02.

I’m not even going to bother rating it yet because here’s Stephanie to say that doesn’t count and Charlotte wins by DQ. Charlotte gets her rematch on Sunday and the title can change hands by any means.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. The match was nothing special but I’m sure we’ll hear for weeks about how awesome it was as the NXT fans point to Sasha vs. Bayley. You had to know they were going with the record because this is all about making the Bellas into some kind of pop culture icon in WWE’s mind and they just had to get her the record, which is totally better than Trish holding the Women’s Title for over a year because reasons.

Sting was at Survivor Series 2014.

Cesaro vs. Rusev

Rusev grabs a wristlock to start but Cesaro does four or five nipups in a row to escape. A headscissors drops Rusev again and the delayed vertical suplex gets one. Rusev’s spinwheel kick gets two but here’s Dolph Ziggler with a present for Summer. The distraction lets Cesaro small package Rusev for the pin at 4:04.

Rating: C-. The booking here was a lot better as you had Cesaro get a win while Ziggler gets to cost Rusev a match. Everyone comes out looking the way they’re supposed to look and Sunday’s match gets some build. That’s the kind of smart booking that WWE lacks so often and it’s a nice touch.

Ziggler superkicks Rusev and Summer sneaks the present with her as they leave.

WWE was at a children’s hospital earlier today.

Post break Rusev is livid and goes into his dressing room. Summer opens the present and it’s……something we can’t see.

Recap of the Tag Team Title match and we run down the Night of Champions card. Owens vs. Ryback for the Intercontinental Title is confirmed, as is Neville/Lucha Dragons vs. Stardust/Ascension on the preshow.

Big Show promises the Authority that he’ll knock Sting out.

Sting vs. Big Show

These two headlined Slamboree 1996 nearly twenty years ago. The Authority is ringside to watch. Sting hammers away to start and gets in ten right hands in the corner. Show tries a chokeslam out of the corner but gets DDT’d down instead. There’s the Stinger Splash but Rollins runs in for the DQ at 1:45.

Cena comes out for the save and HHH makes it a tag match.

Sting/John Cena vs. Seth Rollins/Big Show

This is joined in progress after a break with Cena’s shoulder block bouncing off Big Show. It’s off to Rollins for some stomping but Cena backdrops him over the top to the floor for a big crash. Back in and Cena tries the AA but can’t flip Show over, meaning the beating continues. Rollins and Big Show take turns beating on Cena while they both break up the tag attempts. The slow motion Vader Bomb gets two.

Cena turns Rollins inside out with a running clothesline but Show breaks up another hot tag attempt. Show misses the second Vader Bomb though and Cena dives over for the hot tag to Sting. It’s showtime as Sting cleans house, only to be run over by Big Show. The giant takes the AA and Sting breaks up the Pedigree with a Scorpion Death Drop. The Scorpion Deathlock makes Rollins tap at 11:58.

Rating: C-. I don’t like the ending but I get the idea. Sting isn’t going to win the title on Sunday but it’s still cool to see him in the ring on Raw, just for the novelty of it if nothing else. This could be another stake in HHH and Rollins’ relationship as Rollins couldn’t beat the man that HHH could, but they’ve been teasing the split for months now so I’ll believe it when I see it.

Overall Rating: C+. This was FAR better than last week as you could feel an energy instead of the same boring show they did last week. It was also a good go home show for Night of Champions, which is looking like a pretty fun card on paper. I’m curious to see where some of the stuff goes and that’s exactly what this show was supposed to accomplish. You had some big moments and a good match here so what else more can you ask for out of a TV show? Well done this week.

Results

New Day b. Prime Time Players – Midnight Hour to O’Neil

Sasha Banks b. Paige – Bank Statement

John Cena b. Sheamus – Attitude Adjustment

Charlotte b. Nikki Bella via DQ when Brie Bella interfered

Cesaro b. Rusev – Small package

Sting b. Big Show via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered

Sting/John Cena b. Big Show/Seth Rollins – Scorpion Deathlock to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: September 7, 2015

Alas it’s a holiday show and that means they’re really not going to be putting in much effort. I get the idea behind it, but it gets really tiring watching them out there on a show that means nothing and clearly just filling in time before next week’s special episode where for some reason they try to fight off a Monday Night Football doubleheader instead of having a nothing show that night and then doing a major show after Night of Champions and starting the build from there. Then again, when has WWE ever done something that makes sense? Let’s get to it.

Rollins opened the show with his weekly address where he talks to the fans like they’ve never seen an episode of Raw before by recapping his entire title reign. I’m always of the mindset that each episode is someone’s first time watching, but recapping the fact that you beat Brock Lesnar really doesn’t mean anything when you’re fighting Sting and John Cena while Lesnar is nowhere in sight. It’s recapping for the sake of filling in time and for the sake of WWE thinking its fans are stupid which gets old fast.

This brought him to Sting and the statue, which needs to get destroyed already and be done with it. Sting had the statue with him in front of a dark background, which is certainly just a corner of the arena somewhere and not in front of something that will be a big surprise later on.

Sheamus came out as well to tease the Money in the Bank cash-in at Night of Champions because it’s the fall and therefore time to start teasing the cash-in like they do EVERY SINGLE YEAR BECAUSE THAT’S THE STORY THEY CAME UP WITH AND IT HAS TO BE THE SAME STUPID THING EVERY TIME SINCE WE JUST HAVE TO HAVE THAT STUPID BRIEFCASE FLOATING AROUND ALL THE FREAKING TIME! Just cash it in, let Sheamus lose or have a month long title reign and be done with it already so we can have a break before the whole thing starts over again in July.

After a break, Rollins came in to see Mama and Papa Helmsley, who have the whole thing covered because Seth can’t handle an old man without them. Of course no one ever says “hey, let’s go find the cameraman and ask him where he was. Like, there has to be a cable leading to his camera somewhere right?” That’s heresy in WWE though, because we need to praise HHH and Stephanie in their cameo while they’re not really in the arena because not even they watch Raw on Labor Day. Rollins gets two wrestle twice tonight because the Authority treats like like a child.

Paige and Sasha had their same decent match that ended with Naomi distracting Paige so Sasha could get a small package pin. I think this leads to a Paige heel turn, which could be interesting once we get done with the never ending team feuds.

Now we get to the part of the show that actually got on my nerves, which almost never happens: Ambrose and Reigns squashed the Ascension, who had been put together with Stardust in a group on Smackdown. However, since the people who put Raw together don’t seem to watch Smackdown, none of that mattered because Reigns and Ambrose needed opponents for a squash.

I have no problem with Ambrose and Reigns beating someone up, but if they’re trying to do something with Ascension, don’t put them out there to get squashed. You could put any two goofs out there and have them lose in three minutes. You have how many people who haven’t done anything important in months (Heath Slater, Curtis Axel, Damien Sandow, Adam Rose, Fandango etc) but why use any of them?

Instead you put out a team that needs to be rebuilt in the worst way after WWE screwed them up in the first place by having Booker and JBL treat them like idiots and then having the Outlaws and APA, two mostly retired teams, attack them for a nostalgia segment. I’ve said this many times before, but WWE has no idea how to use its roster. They focus on a handful of people and forget everyone else. Put up a big board of everyone on your roster and label it “PEOPLE WE CAN USE” or something, but stop wasting a team that could go somewhere for a spot that any two jobbers could use.

Oh and again, this is what NXT fans are always afraid of: why bother bringing people up if they’re going to be completely wasted for the sake of whatever stupid idea the main show has for them? What does that develop and how is it a good use of the system they have in place? It’s because the people who put together the main show can’t stop and pay attention for five seconds, because the match was less than three minutes long. Any two warm bodies could have done this job as well as Konor/Viktor, but that’s who we get and we’re just supposed to go with it on Smackdown when they’re featured again. Thank you WWE.

Ryback and Owens continue to stare at each other and their feud (is it even a feud yet? Don’t you have to do more than look at and insult each other to constitute a feud?) is still intriguing.

We get a long recap of Ziggler/Summer/Lana and it’s so cheesy that it’s getting awesome. Embrace the fact that it’s a soap opera and it’s a lot easier to bear.

Ryback beat Rollins in the first long match of the night. I still really like Ryback at the moment and it’s cool to see him get a big win, even if it was due to a Sting distraction. They’re building a good Intercontinental Champion with Ryback, and above all else there’s one key: he’s treating the title like it matters. Couple that with actually defending the thing and he’s one of the better champions in a long time.

Rollins (who I’m sick of from this show alone) runs into New Day, who he’s teaming with later. The Dudleyz come in, as do Edge and Christian for a cameo. This turns into the trombone vs. the kazoo, which are both totally awesome. This was great.

Summer Rae/Rusev/Ziggler did some stuff, with only Summer referring to Rusev as Ru Ru being noteworthy.

Orton, Sheamus, RKO, sixteen minutes. I need to get away from this match before I nod off.

The Wyatts beat up Orton for hanging out with Reigns/Ambrose earlier. I like this idea the more I think about it and they’re setting the stage for an outsider to be there to save the Shield boys.

The Dudleyz squashed Los Matadores so they could turn on El Torito. Didn’t they do this before and nothing came of it?

Big Show caused Miz vs. Cesaro to go to a double countout. I guess they’re just swapping Cesaro for Ryback in this feud? That’s their best idea?

The Bellas and PCB had your standard build to next week’s title match where Nikki tapped to the Figure Eight.

John Cena, with the Prime Time Players, beat New Day. This was nothing special and was really just there to fill in some time.

Sting threw the statue into a garbage truck to end the show. He did a little dance around it, which was actually cool because I’ve always loved how Sting moves. It’s different enough from everyone else to make it look cool.

This show wasn’t the worst they’ve ever done but there was a distinct lack of energy to the show all night. The only major thing was the destruction of the statue, which we’ve been waiting weeks for now. It was clear that they were trying to fill in time though, which has to happen every week but it’s a lot harder to sit through when they’re being so blatant with it. The “season premiere” next week should be better, but a bit of energy is all it would take.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6