Johnny B. Badd vs. Sting

Sting won the US Title in a tournament after Luger had to vacate it due to winning the World Title but it’s not on the line here. Badd is undefeated coming in. The interesting thing around this time is someone sent Sting a large gift box with Abdullah the Butcher inside because they want him taken out. Sting quickly backdrops him down but Johnny gets his knees up to block a Vader Bomb.

Sting pops back up but misses a middle rope elbow and gets caught by a top rope sunset flip for two. Badd gets caught in a quick sunset flip for two as well and it’s a standoff after a fast starts. Johnny cranks on the arm but Sting counters into one of his own. Sting cranks on an armbar as another large box is wheeled down the ramp. The Stinger Splash misses and Badd drills him in the ribs. Badd sees the box and thinks it’s a present for him as the match just stops. Sting sees it as well and stops cold before grabbing a quick rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. The ending cripples anything this had going for it. That sequence of near falls at the beginning was really good but it was only a quick portion of an otherwise bad match. Johnny had talent but he really needed to turn face for the gimmick to work at all. The match was much more about storytelling than wrestling which is fine, but cut out the minute of standing there looking at the box.

Next up is one of Badd’s first pay per view matches from Halloween Havoc 1991.

Jimmy Garvin vs. Johnny B. Badd

Michael Hayes is here but he has a bad arm. Johnny is gay here but we can’t say gay so we call him “very flamboyant.” Teddy Long is still in the ring when the bell rings. They speed things up to start and Badd is sent to the floor. Back in the ring and Garvin (who is apparently a face here which I hadn’t picked up on until now) runs him over with a forearm to send Badd back outside.

Garvin works over the arm but Badd pounds away with fists. He chokes off a Teddy distraction and uses some very basic offense. A flying sunset flip is mostly messed up and it gets two. A top rope elbow gets two. Garvin dumps him over the top and nothing happens out there. Back in and they collide but Garvin beats him to his feet. The DDT hits but Teddy has the referee. The left hooks from Badd gets the pin.

Rating: D-. This really didn’t work at all. Badd was still very green at this point and it was clear that he wasn’t ready for a spot like this. Garvin was old and not very good either, although he never quite was anything special in the ring. This was supposed to be a showcase match for Badd but it came off as more boring than anything else. Badd would get WAY better in a few years though.

Badd was good enough to get a Light Heavyweight Title shot at Clash of the Champions XVII.

Light Heavyweight Title: Brian Pillman vs. Johnny B. Badd

Pillman defeated Richard Morton at Halloween Havoc to become the first champion. The theme songs are played in the wrong order but at least Badd doesn’t appear until his starts. Badd is clad in what looks like the top half of the dress uniform for a Navy officer and feathery trunks. Women tuck dollars into his hat, covering this gimmick better than I ever possibly could. Badd and Theodore Long dance in the ring despite having issues lately.

The former amateur boxing champion Badd fires off rapid fire punches in the corner but Brian slaps him to the ramp. The champion hits a good looking clothesline over the ropes but Badd sends Brian out to the floor and poses in the ring. Pillman comes back in with a slingshot cross body followed by a powerslam.

Badd is able to raise his knees to block a top rope splash and put on a chinlock. Johnny goes up top but dives into a dropkick to change momentum again. A spinwheel kick gets two for the champion but he runs into a clothesline from Johnny. Badd goes up top and hits his top rope sunset flip but Theodore has the referee for some reason. Brian ducks the left hook and rams Johnny into Long before rolling him up to retain.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here but the story was the more important idea. Johnny would be better as a face and the turn was coming soon. These two had chemistry together and would tear the house down to open Fall Brawl 1995 about four years later. Johnny wasn’t ready to do that yet though and it was a big reason why this division didn’t work all that well. There just wasn’t enough talent to fill out a division as Pillman needed someone to work against.

Badd would miss a lot of time in 1992 and 1993 due to injuries so we’ll jump ahead to Clash of the Champions XXV with Badd getting a TV Title shot.

TV Title: Johnny B. Badd vs. Steven Regal

Regal took the title from Steamboat at Fall Brawl. Johnny is a bit too flamboyant for Regal’s tastes so the champion heads into the corner to start. A shoulder block gets two on Steven and Badd pulls back his fist, sending Regal back into the corner. Badd takes him down with a headlock takeover before shifting over to a headscissors. Back to the headlock and the fans are calling this boring.

They stay on the mat with Regal in trouble but looking for the one opening he needs. Badd grabs his third headlock but Regal shoves him off and avoids a cross body, sending the challenger into the ropes. That’s the opening Regal was looking for and he fires off some European uppercuts. Regal stomps down on Badd’s face and we get an update on the Rude incident: it was a challenge from British Bulldog for a title match. Badd gets to his feet and knocks Regal silly with the left hand but Sir William puts the foot on the rope. Regal gets up long enough to grab a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. The technical stuff was fine and there was enough of a story here with Badd out wrestling Regal when it was even until he screwed up, but the ending came out of nowhere. Regal was only in control for a minute or two and the match didn’t have time to be fleshed out. Steven needed more time than this to do his best work and a quick ending like that hurt things a lot.

Another title shot from Slamboree 1994.

TV Title: Johnny B. Badd vs. Steve Austin

Hat Guy is here, apparently cheating on Paulie. Well they’re improving here: only 13 minutes before the first match starts. Austin was more or less the hottest thing in the world at this point so of course he would be jobbing to Duggan two months into the Hogan regime. And three minutes in we have a sleeper. Badd counters with a jawbreaker which is amusing for some reason. Sherri is at ringside which would start the dumbest story in history as she loved Parker after taking a shot to the head.

At least Heenan is sober here. They’re doing a technical style here and it’s working pretty well. We hit a more basic style and it’s working fine. Badd could go at times, especially when he had a good opponent and Austin would certainly qualify as one of those. We hit a rest hold twelve minutes in. That’s far more like it.

You can tell ECW has been around as the chants are going insane with chants. They have the lights dimmed to hide the fact that the upper areas and a good deal of the lower areas are empty. After some heel interference by the manager we crank it up and the fans get into it really fast.

The bell rings early on a two count so everyone is confused. Badd hits his top rope sunset flip for two. He goes for a belly to back but Austin kicks his foot off the ropes for no apparent reason. They botch the heck out of the pin as I think Austin was supposed to reverse into something and use the tights but it looked like Badd just laid there and let himself get pinned. Good match but a bad ending.

Rating: B-. They went hard and fast out there and it worked rather well. The ending hurt it a lot but other than that this was fine for an opener. Austin would hold the belt a bit longer until Steamboat took it from him. Badd was getting laid by the opening spot as he was in it for like a year.

One more title shot at Fall Brawl 1994.

TV Title: Johnny B. Badd vs. Steve Regal

Badd is billed as the prettiest man in WCW. That tells you everything you need to know about him. This is a rematch from last time where Regal won clean, so naturally this should be a rematch. In a show that’s supposed to be about war, Badd launches confetti everywhere. This is already making my head hurt. Regal has one of those white wigs that you see in bad comedy sketches.

We’re 8 minutes into the broadcast and the bell hasn’t rung yet. There are two rings but they can only fight in one, as I guess inside the ring is considered outside the ring or something like that. Apparently this is happening because Badd hit Regal’s manager. Badd tries to chain wrestle with Regal. Guess what happens. They actually talk about American history as a reason why Regal isn’t liked.

WCW just didn’t have a clue at times and it’s relatively funny how bad they are at building characters and storylines. Regal’s manager, William, looks like a short Honky Tonk Man. Badd tries to cross body that Tony calls a high risk swan dive. REALLY??? I’ve never seen anyone that can chain wrestle like Regal. For those of you unsure of what I mean, it’s wrestling where you never break contact with the other guy.

It usually starts with a wristlock and then you move from there. We see a guy with a bullhorn that keeps yelling at Badd. He would eventually become known as Blacktop Bully, but he’s more commonly known as Smash or Repo Man. He was somehow more annoying in this gimmick than he was in the others if that’s possible. Johnny shoves his hips into Regal’s crotch to break a hold. Make your own jokes. Badd starts his comeback and of course it sucks.

They try to do the same finish from last month but it doesn’t work. A few near falls later and Badd wins with a BACKSLIDE. Of course they do this instead of on the very hot rollup where they had the crowd on their side. That’s just dumb but whatever. They say this is his first major title. This makes me wonder: what’s a minor title in WCW?

Rating: C-. And most of that is from Regal’s chain wrestling. I just never liked Johnny’s in ring stuff. It wasn’t interesting at all and was boring as all goodness. This wasn’t anything interesting and the ending was just freaking stupid but whatever. That’s just the way WCW did things. The match was ok but ran a bit long. Not a great opener though.

Now for a defense at Starrcade 1994.

TV Title: Arn Anderson vs. Johnny B. Badd

Johnny is defending and this was supposed to be Honky Tonk Man challenging, but he walked out on the company literally earlier in the day so Anderson is a replacement. Anderson is also a member of the Stud Stable with Colonel Parker and a monster called Meng with him here. He runs Badd over to start and does a little dance in a funny bit. Johnny takes it down to the mat and hooks a hammerlock to steal a page from Anderson’s playbook.

Anderson gets caught in a headscissors but quickly gets to the rope. Now we talk about Johnny’s underwear for no apparent reason until Anderson hooks a top wristlock to take Badd down. Johnny takes over with an armbar before armdragging Arn out to the floor. Back in and Badd pounds away, only to charge into Arn’s spinebuster for no cover. Heenan starts talking about Mr. T. vs. Sullivan out of nowhere as Parker talks trash at Badd.

Arn hooks an abdominal stretch and grabs the rope for some extra cheating. We get another Anderson signature spot as he takes Johnny down to the mat with a test of strength grip before jumping into the air and landing on Badd. For once though, Anderson doesn’t get crotched. Off to a chinlock as the match is starting to drag, which to be fair is due to these two having no issues. Anderson grabs a sleeper but Badd reverses into one of his own, only to be caught in a jawbreaker. Badd comes back with a sweet knee lift and a top rope sunset flip for two. A quick rollup is good enough for Johnny to retain the title.

Rating: D+. The lack of a story hurt a lot but at the end of the day they had like five hours to set this match up. Anderson was a great choice for a fill in spot like this as he held the title so many times before so he had a reasonable chance of taking the belt. That’s exactly what he did in about two weeks, which makes me wonder why he didn’t just win it here.

Here’s the aforementioned Pillman match from Fall Brawl 1995.

Brian Pillman vs. Johnny B. Badd

This is the number one contender match for the US Title. Badd was constantly opening shows, but this match is special as you’ll soon see. Those Frisbees are really stupid though. His intro takes like 3 minutes after the bell rings, just for him to throw stuff to the fans. Yeah it’s annoying. And then Buffer talking about both guys takes even longer. Is wrestling such a hard thing to do?

Pillman gets booed actually. That’s most odd. They feel each other out to start which is a fine way to start so there we are. They start off with some solid stuff which is always a perk. This is a pretty fast paced match so far which is a good sign. Heenan cracks me up by saying that Badd is like Sting’s cocker spaniel because Sting trained him. We have a Bobby the Brain Heenan For President.

Heenan of course bashes him, but says he would appreciate a donation. Heenan is on fire tonight. They go to the mat again which is hurting things a bit. They plug Nitro tomorrow which would be the third show in history. That’s very odd indeed. We go to a wide camera shot which makes sure not to let us see the camera side, which I would bet is about 10% full.

Tony offers some insight by saying the far leg is the leg that is furthest away. Yep I love him too. Pillman goes heel here by throwing a punch. He would soon snap and go full heel but more on that later. Badd gets a weird submission hold where his feet are under Brian’s shoulders and he’s pulling back on his arms. That would hurt horrible I’d think. Brian is getting booed more and more.

See what something simple like just a straight punch can do? Brian hits the floor as this is getting good. A springboard legdrop gets two for Badd. It’s kind of sad that the fans are just wandering around when there’s a solid match going on because that’s what they’re so used to from WCW. That can’t be a good sign. With Badd on the floor we have five minutes to go. The over the top rope rule continues to be changed every show as Badd suplexes him over.

And now he jumps over the top to take Brian out as they crank it up again. Johnny goes for a double axe from the top but jumps into a dropkick with four minutes to go. Brian gets a Tombstone with 3 minutes left. Even the WCW crowd is into this so how much does that tell you about this match?

And we hit an armbar with 2 minutes to go. Ok then. And now Brian does the same. That’s kind of stupid. There’s a minute left and we’re in a rest hold. Yeah that’s brilliant. Badd gets his big punch with 20 seconds left but Brian is in the ropes. A springboard clothesline gets two for Brian and we’re out of time. The fans boo the heck out of that.

BUT WAIT!

There must be a winner, so we go to sudden death! It’s one fall to a finish so the sudden death term is kind of pointless but we get more of a good match so there you are. Heenan has never heard of this. Really? We go to the floor and it’s a slugfest. Badd uses the same dropkick counter on Brian that got used on him earlier. And that is what you call psychology.

We get a double count which is idiotic given the must be a winner idea. Heenan says no one has tried the one thing that could win: a pipe wrench. I love that. Pillman gets a sleeper which is smart after over 20 minutes of hard wrestling. We talk about the main event where Heenan seems to fantasize over someone turning on Hogan. A sunset flip off the top gets a LONG two for Badd. Crucifix is countered into a back slam.

This is a great match in case you can’t tell. Hurricanrana from the middle rope, which was an epic move at the time, gets just two for Badd. Tornado DDT, Pillman’s finisher, just gets two. We go BACK to the floor where Badd hits a somersault plancha over the top which he nearly misses and Pillman is out. He goes for a slingshot splash but Pillman gets the knees up for a block. We’re over 35 minutes into the broadcast and we’re still in the opener.

The overtime has been a solid match in its own right after a great opening 20 minutes. They get back in the ring and freaking FLY off the ropes about three times each before both go for cross bodies but Pillman lands on Badd’s knee so it’s almost like a backbreaker which is enough for the pin to blow the roof off the place. Well as much as that small of a crowd can do at least.

Rating: A. GREAT match. This is what two young guys can do when they’re given a ton of time and can show off. This is pretty easily Badd’s best match ever and it’s one of Pillman’s best. Somehow though, that’s not even Brian’s best PPV opener. That’s hard to believe. Find this match as it’s worth watching.

Badd wrestled Diamond Dallas Page at A LOT of pay per views. Here’s one such match from SuperBrawl VI.

TV Title: Johnny B. Badd vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Hey they’re a spot lower on the card! DDP has nothing left but his money so he’s putting that up here vs. the girl and the title. Kimberly is more or less a cheerleader here. They have a massive check that just says CASH on it. It’s stupid as all goodness. You can see someone that looks a lot like Linda Hogan in the crowd. These two usually have good chemistry so I can live with that.

Badd throws him over the top but they of course alter the rules AGAIN saying that Badd was on the apron and it might not have been deliberate. This is one of my favorite aspects of these matches as I get to hear the excuses for that idiotic rule. Most amusing. Badd counters more or less everything Dallas does which is pretty decent I guess you would say. The crowd is into this so I can’t complain much.

Bobby makes a great point: Badd is trying to win the money so he can hand it to Kimberly? Why? What can Badd gain here? He’s beaten DDP like 4 times now and can lose his title here. What can he gain here? Kimberly’s acting makes Stephanie look like Meryl Streep. Page is in control but he does NOTHING but showboat after he hits a big move. Even Heenan is yelling at him about it. He hit a tornado DDT and literally walks around yelling at the fans and Kimberly for FORTY seconds.

Badd doesn’t move at all the whole time. DDP isn’t very good. Like at all. He just isn’t very good at all and it’s kind of pitiful. Not sure why but it just comes off like that. Pedro Morales is shown. Pay no attention to the two count and the crowd popping during that shot of Pedro either. I’m sure it meant nothing at all. We’re about 10 minutes into this and Heenan says Badd has been worn down these past 20 minutes.

Did he get beaten up by a bus full of nuns before the match? Did a wild moose stomp him for not paying him for that six dollars he borrowed? Top rope sunset flip gets two. A pretty bad Batista Bomb gets two. They trade sleepers. I’m a bit bored here. And then Badd hits a Tombstone of all things for the pin.

Points for them using something other than their finishers to end the match. There was supposed to be one more match at Uncensored but Badd left to become Mark Mero like a little coward. At least that’s what they called him after it. Badd would drop the belt to Luger before leaving.

Rating: C+. Not bad I guess, but DANG I’m tired of seeing these two fight. This is what, four straight PPVs for them? We get it: DDP can’t beat Johnny B. Badd. Do you need to tell us that a thousand times? It was competitive, but there was no way Page was winning and everyone knew it.

It was off to the WWF where Mero debuted under his real name at Wrestlemania XII. Here’s one of his earlier matches from In Your House IX.

Marc Mero vs. Steve Austin

This is a rematch from the King of the Ring tournament. Austin jumps him right after the bell but Mero comes back with a quick armbar. That gets him nowhere so Steve grabs a headlock and takes him down to the mat. Back up and they slug it out with Mero, a former New York Golden Gloves Champion, easily taking control. Austin is knocked to the floor and goes after Sable, only to be jumped from behind.

Back inside and Steve gets rolled up for two but manages to send Mero out to the floor to take over. A catapult sends Mero face first into the post and another shot knocks him off the apron and into the barricade. Back in and a middle rope elbow gets two for Austin and we hit a reverse chinlock. Austin slaps Mero in the back of the head but misses a charge and lands on the middle rope to give Marc a breather.

Steve goes up but gets crotched down, allowing Mero to pull him down and hook a hurricanrana to send both guys to the floor. A moonsault press off the apron takes Austin down again and a slingshot moonsault gets two back inside. Mero pounds away with right hands in the corner but Austin shoves him to the side, crotching Mero on the top rope. Marc blocks Austin’s Stunner finisher and gets two off a slingshot legdrop. For some reason Marlena comes out to watch the ending. Not that it matters though Austin comes back with a quick chop block and the Stunner connects for the pin.

Rating: C. Good stuff here for the most part but the match felt off for some reason. It’s very interesting to see Austin evolve the Stunner over the years as there’s no kick to the ribs yet and he just snaps it off. Mero wasn’t bad in the ring at all but he never quite fit in the WWF.

Mero would make it to the finals of a tournament for the Intercontinental Title on Raw, September 23, 1996.

Intercontinental Title: Marc Mero vs. Farrooq

Title is vacant coming in due to Ahmed Johnson’s injuries. Pat Patterson is introduced as the guest referee to the crowd off camera and Mr. Perfect sits in on commentary. Sable and Sunny are the respective seconds here in a rare occurrence of them being on screen at the same time. Farrooq (still in the blue gladiator outfit) hammers away to start but gets rolled up for a few two counts. An enziguri drops Mero but he avoids a charge and clotheslines Farrooq out to the floor for a BIG flip dive. Back in and a springboard moonsault press gets two for Mero but he gets backdropped to the floor.

Ahmed Johnson calls in to the show and says he’ll be back to win his title. Back in and a powerslam gets two for Farrooq and a middle rope Samoan drop gets the same. Sunny gets in some choking but Sable chases her off, earning Sunny an ejection and a lot of booing. Back with Mero getting two off a backslide but getting clotheslined down with ease. Farrooq stays on the ribs before hitting the chinlock. JR promises to expose Jeff Jarrett tonight, whatever that means.

Mero fights up and nails a clothesline, only to get caught with another quick slam to change momentum. Farrooq goes up top but gets crotched down almost immediately. A top rope hurricanrana puts Farrooq down for two and a double clothesline drops both guys. Farrooq comes out and gets in a slap fight with Sable, allowing Mero to take Sunny’s purse from Farrooq and knock him silly, setting up the Wild Thing (shooting star) for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Nothing special to see here but the Wild Thing was still a really high spot at the time. No it wasn’t a clean pin, but Mero winning the title is a good idea at the end of the day. He was a solid worker and getting much better around this time, but an injury would shut him down pretty horribly.

Mero would open up In Your House XIII against a name that hadn’t broke through yet.

Marc Mero vs. Leif Cassidy

Cassidy doesn’t even get an entrance. Instead he slaps Mero in the face and gets taken down by an armdrag for his efforts. We hit the armbar for a bit with Mero in control but Cassidy fights up and shoves the referee before bailing to the floor. Leif wraps Mero’s leg around the rope but Sable goes after him, allowing Mero to come back with right hands. Back in and a slingshot legdrop keeps Cassidy in trouble with Mero shouting to stay away from Sable.

Cassidy comes back with a pair of dropkicks to the knee and Mero is in trouble. More kicks to the knee have Marc on the mat and Leif slaps on a leg lace. Mero’s knee is slammed down into the mat as the fans are starting to wake up a bit here. Back to the leg lock as Mero’s offense is stopped cold again. Mero finally reaches over and grabs a rope so Leif keeps stomping away.

The leg locks continue until Mero fights up and scores with an enziguri, setting up a rollup for two. Cassidy will have none of this being on defense and puts on a lame figure four leg lock but Sable helps Marc get to the ropes. Leif goes after Sable so Mero dives through the ropes to take him out. Back in and Marc rams him face first into the mat a few times before a Samoan drop sets up the Wild Thing for the pin.

Rating: D+. I didn’t hate the match and the psychology was working, but the execution was rather boring for the most part. This was more about pushing Sable as having more backbone and Mero being more protective of her, but I see no reason for this to have been on PPV. This could have been accomplished in half the time on TV which brings this down. Not a horrible match though.

Mero would get involved in a huge story with Sable, who cost him a lot of matches, including this one on Raw, January 12, 1998.

Vader vs. Marc Mero

Mero grabs a microphone to introduce Sable but his mic isn’t working. He doesn’t seem to realize it though so I’d assume you can hear it in the arena. Here’s Sable…..performed by Goldust. This is his I WANT ATTENTION phase. Vader is feuding with him here so there’s your connection. Mero tries throwing some punches which get him nowhere at all.

Vader dominates him with pure power but Goldie trips him up. Mero gets a cross body for no cover but here comes Sable to the biggest non-Austin pop of the night. She goes after Goldust but Mero sends her away. Vader promptly destroys Mero and hits a Vader Bomb but Goldust comes in and pulls a coconut from his bra (I know I know just go with it) and drills Vader for the DQ. No rating since the majority of this was Sable and her hotness.

Then Mero turned face for one match at Wrestlemania XIV.

The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust/Luna Vachon vs. Marc Mero/Sable

The guys start things off with Mero hitting a fast headscissors and a clothesline. Off to the women folk but Luna wants to fight Mero. She gets Sable instead and Luna runs away instead of fighting. We get a lap around the ring and the men come back in before we get any contact. Goldie gets backdropped by Mero and kicked in the ribs by Sable for good measure. Luna won’t tag in so it’s back to Mero so that the genitals match.

Mero pounds away on Goldust in the corner but gets clotheslined down to change control. A quick cross body gets two for Marc but Goldust hits an uppercut to put him right back down. The fans chant for Sable as the men collide. A double tag brings in the girls and Sable spears Luna down. She pounds away and kicks Luna in the corner before bealing her across the ring.

Sable pounds on Goldust as well but it’s back to Mero who doesn’t fare as well. With Sable trying to get back in, Mero hits Goldust low but can’t hit the TKO. Instead Goldust counters into a DDT for two but he can’t hook the Curtain Call. Mero hits a running knee lift and a moonsault press for two. Goldust goes up but gets crotched, setting up a top rope rana by Mero for two.

Marc threatens to hit Luna and ducks just in time to make the heels collide. The TKO on Goldust gets two more as Luna makes the save. Sable tags herself in and covers Goldust but has to avoid a splash from Luna. A Sable Bomb gets two on Luna and she’s back up in seconds. Not that it matters as the TKO (it’s a cutter out of a fireman’s carry) from Sable ends Luna a few seconds later.

Rating: C. This was WAY better than I was expecting it to be. The saddest part of this match though was what happened after: in the back Sable had praise heaped onto her while Luna was basically ignored. Sable could barely do anything in the ring while Luna was a seasoned veteran who received no credit for her work with Sable. Only Owen Hart congratulated her on her success. That’s rather sad when you think about it.

Mero would be at In Your House XXIV as his WWF career was winding down.

Marc Mero vs. Droz

That’s Darren Drozdov of course. Mero pounds him into the corner to start but Droz comes back with some nice clotheslines. Marc heads to the floor and tries to leave but Droz will have none of that. Back in and Mero pounds away before sending Droz back to the floor for a flip dive over the top. They head in again so Mero can choke away with some wrist tape. Jackie adds a top rope high heel to the head, setting up Marveolcity (Shooting Star Press) for the pin.

Rating: D. The ending looked good but there wasn’t much to see here. Droz was still a rookie at this point but he was showing some promise in his matches. This is another match that could have been on Raw though and that’s only going to help Droz so much at this point in his career.

Here’s one of his last matches in the company from Raw on November 30, 1998.

Duane Gill vs. Marc Mero

Gill is a hometown guy and he comes out with a local youth football team. That’s kind of cool. Mero says if he can’t win, he’ll leave the company. Mero dominates to start, hitting a running knee lift and sending Gill into the corner. The TKO hits but here’s the JOB Squad for a distraction. Mero goes up but the Blue Meanie pops in and shoves Mero off the top to give Gill the pin. Mero would never appear in a WWF match again.

For some reason TNA brought Mero in for some matches in 2004, including this one at Turning Point 2004.

Pat Kenney/Johnny B. Badd vs. Glen Gilbertti/Johnny Swinger

Gilbertti and Swinger are known as the New York Connection. Great: Jacqueline is the referee. Kenney is kind of famous as Simon Diamond from ECW. He and Swinger were a tag team in ECW so there’s history there. There’s no story here that I can find so we’re in filler territory. Kenney and Swinger start as the fans chant Simon Diamond. Simon (screw it) fights off both of the NYC until Gilbertti is sent outside.

Off to Badd who looks really weird with short hair. The NYC double teams Simon to take over. Badd seems content to chill on the apron. It’s not a heel move or anything. He just doesn’t seem to care. Jackie breaks up some double teaming and Swinger gets two off a clothesline. They work on Simon’s back which was injured in the match somewhere. Simon hits a sitout spinebuster on Swinger which allows the tag to Badd. Both heels get knee lfits TKO to Glenn is broken up by Swinger. Gilbertti shoves Jackie and Stuns Badd but Jackie gets involved (of course) and slams Gilbertti. TKO by Badd ends this.

Rating: D. Imagine that: Jackie messes up a match. To be fair though the match was boring, mainly because there was no real story to this. The NYC were one of the leftovers from the older run of the company so they were brought along for about five minutes. This was nothing of note though and was pretty bad. To be fair though, it was just there to bridge us to the second half of the show.

Badd was a guy that got VERY good back in 1995 but the move to the WWF brought him down a lot. The problem was the boxing gimmick never went anywhere and everything became about Sable. Now to be fair, Sable was going to be a bigger star than Mero ever could have been, but she got the focus and Mero’s career went down as a result. He was awesome for awhile there though.

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Bringing the Game Up a Level

The Blade Runners vs. Bret Wayne Sawyer and Sean O’Reilly
UWF Power Pro Wrestling • April 1986

Sting & Rick Steiner vs. Mike Rotundo & Ron Simmons
NWA Southern Pro Wrestling • May 19, 1987

NWA World Heavyweight Championship
Ric Flair vs. Sting
NWA Pro Wrestling • January 2, 1988

On the Map

Sting vs. Stan Lane
Main Event • October 2, 1988

Sting vs. Butch Reed
Main Event • March 26, 1989

Superstar

NWA World Television Championship Match
Sting vs. Mike Rotundo
WCW World Championship Wrestling • April 1, 1989

Sting vs. Ron Simmons
WCW Power Hour • August 18, 1989

NWA World Television Championship
Sting vs. Great Muta
WCW Power Hour • September 1, 1989

Bleach Blonde Rivalry

NWA World Heavyweight Championship Match
Ric Flair vs. Sting
Great American Bash • July 7, 1990

Sting vs. Dutch Mantel
Main Event • September 2, 1990

Face of WCW

Sting vs. Nikita Koloff
Clash of the Champions XIV • June 14, 1991

Sting & The Great Muta vs. The Steiner Brothers
WCW/New Japan Supershow II • January 4 1992

Vader Rivalry

Bounty Match
Sting vs. Van Vader
WCW WorldWide • February 9, 1992

Sting, Barry Windham, Ricky Steamboat & Dustin Rhodes vs. The Dangerous Alliance (Rick Rude, Larry Zbyszko, Arn Anderson & Bobby Eaton)

WCW World Championship Wrestling • February 22, 1992

Sting vs. Diamond Dallas Page WCW Saturday Night • June 13, 1992

Sting vs. Barry Windham
WCW Saturday Night • February 6, 1993

Face Paint

Sting vs. Stunning Steve Austin
WCW Pro Wrestling • January 8, 1994

Viewers Choice Match
Sting vs. Ric Flair
WCW Nitro • November 6, 1995

Sting vs. Arn Anderson
WCW Nitro • July 8, 1996

Sting & “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs. The Nasty Boys
WCW Saturday Night • July 27, 1996

The Crow

Sting Becomes Free Agent WCW Nitro • October 21, 1996

WCW World Championship Match
Hollywood Hogan vs. Sting
Starrcade • December 28, 1997

Scorpion Death Lock

Sting & Lex Luger vs. Hulk Hogan & “Macho Man” Randy Savage
WCW Nitro • February 16, 1998

Sting vs. Kevin Nash
WCW Nitro • April 6, 1998

Sting vs. Scott Steiner
WCW Thunder • April 22 1998

Wolfpak

Sting & Kevin Nash vs. Harlem Heat WCW Nitro • June 15, 1998

Sting & The Warrior vs. Bret “Hitman” Hart & Hollywood Hogan
WCW Nitro • October 12, 1998

Sting vs. Bret “Hitman” Hart
WCW Nitro • October 19, 1998

Rafters

Sting vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage
WCW Nitro • June 7, 1999

WCW World Heavyweight Championship
Booker T vs. Sting
WCW Nitro • July 31, 2000

Best 2 out of 3 Falls Match Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett
WCW Thunder • September 13, 2000

Sting, Booker T & Goldberg vs. Jeff Jarrett & KroniK
WCW Thunder • October 25, 2000

Sting vs. Ric Flair
WCW Nitro • March 26, 2001

Blu-Ray exclusives to be announced.

I really like this set as there’s a lot of rare stuff instead of all the usual stuff you would expect on a set like this.

Thoughts/omissions?

In a video about WWE 2K15. He’s a playable character if you pre-order and it seems like you get the Crow and Surfer versions. The video was cool as there was an orchestra playing his old music (from Starrcade 1997) with their backs to the cameras. They turned around to reveal they were all in Sting masks. Sting showed up and looked at the camera but didn’t say anything. He was NOT in the arena but the place erupted when they saw the masks.

As mentioned, this is a fairly packed show. In addition to the world title matches, we also have the Unified World Tag Team Titles on the line. I mentioned the NWA tag title tournament earlier on. For some reason, the NWA and WCW agreed to share tag team champions, meaning that the champions are carrying around four total belts. I’m still not sure why that was the case but 1992 WCW rarely made a ton of sense. Let’s get to it.

We open with an announcement that changes the entire show: Rick Rude is injured and has not only been stripped of the US Title, but also is out of the world title match tonight. Dr. Death Steve Williams, also known as Bill Watts’ idol, will be replacing him in the world title match.

Bill Watts presents Sting with a ring for winning BattleBowl last year. Not much else to say here. Oh and baseball legend Hank Aaron is in the ring for the presentation because Turner Sports thought that wrestling fans wanted to see actual businessmen in wrestling rings.

Larry Zbyszko and Missy Hyatt are doing the drawings for the matches, but the first match was announced on the Clash of the Champions special.

All tag matches are part of Lethal Lottery unless otherwise noted.

Van Hammer/Dan Spivey vs. Johnny B. Badd/Cactus Jack

Spivey is a tall blonde haired guy who isn’t great in the ring. Cactus and Van Hammer had feuded a bit back in 1991 so they get things going. As to be expected with a nutjob like Jack, he pounds away while screaming a lot. Van Hammer comes back with a clothesline and takes over using a variety of forearms and right hands. A legdrop connects but it’s quickly off to Badd. Johnny makes up for the purple trunks with a SWEET hurricanrana to slam Van Hammer’s head down into the mat. Back to Cactus for a hiptoss for no cover.

Off to Spivey who uses his powers of lumbering around the ring to take over. After some right hands and a clothesline to Jack it’s back to Van Hammer again. He gets to fight Badd, and of course by that I mean chase him around while Spivey cheats from the apron. Dan tags himself in and throws on a bearhug before it’s back to Van Hammer for a slam.

A belly to back suples gets two and it’s back to the cheater. Badd staggers Spivey with a dropkick and tags Jack in again as things pick up. Cactus screams a lot and pounds away, only to be caught by a flying shoulder for two. Badd misses an elbow drop as he tries to save, triggering a brawl with Cactus. Since Badd is a Golden Gloves champion, he knocks Badd into a rollup from Hammer for the win.

Rating: D+. This was pretty lame stuff as Spivey and Van Hammer are both big guys who aren’t all that great in the ring. Cactus was clearly something special and why he was put down in exchange for Van Hammer and Spivey is beyond me. Jack would have his day soon though as he would feud with Vader for most of 1993.

Barbarian/Kensuke Sasaki vs. Dustin Rhodes/Vader

Sasaki is a strong Japanese guy and Barbarian is a brawling Tongan wrestler who you might remember from the mid-80s shows. Why he kept jobs for so long I’m not sure, but he was regularly employed by national companies for nearly fifteen years running. Vader and Barbarian get things going, and as expected neither guy seems all that interested in selling any offense. Both guys connect with things like slams and clotheslines but neither guy stays down or even staggers for more than a few seconds.

After a few minutes of that it’s off to Rhodes, who plays the Bret Hart to Vader’s Neidhart in a Hart Attack on Barbarian. Dustin and Barbarian trade suplexes and it’s off to Sasaki for the first time. They slug it out with Sasaki taking over, only to go to the middle rope and jump into a dropkick. Back to Vader to have his way with Sasaki as the beating begins.

Vader pounds Sasaki about the head and shoulders with some shots that are far harder than they need to be. A standing splash off the middle rope has Sasaki back down, but he actually pulls off a pair of suplexes on Vader. With both guys a bit tired they both tag out and everything breaks down. Sasaki and Barbarian are thrown into each other, allowing Dustin to roll up Barbarian for the pin.

Rating: D. This didn’t work for the most part, but it was certainly entertaining at times. That standing splash to Sasaki looked awesome and some of the stuff at the beginning was ok, but for the most part this was just mindless stuff with people pounding on each other. To be fair though, Vader has a bigger match later in the night and needed to keep this short.

Barry Windham/Great Muta vs. 2 Cold Scorpio/Brian Pillman

Scorpio is a high flier who brought several moves to mainstream wrestling which would become norms for wrestlers much smaller than him in future years. This should be very interesting as all four guys are very talented. Windham and Pillman are semi-regular tag partners and will be challenging for the tag titles later in the evening. Despite never being around, the fans LOVE Muta and go nuts for him as Windham starts with Scorpio.

They fight over arm control as Scorpio tries to spin out of Windham’s grip. Scorpio gets on his own hammerlock but the far bigger Barry charges into the corner for the hot tag off to Muta. The fans go even crazier for Muta as they fight over a waistlock with Scorpio doing the same thing Barry did, giving us Pillman vs. Muta in a semi-dream match. They trade dropkicks until Pillman headlocks Muta down for two. Back to Windham to face his regular partner and they chop it out before it’s right back to Muta.

Pillman counters a quick backdrop attempt into a faceplant for no cover. The former football player Pillman hits a shoulder block, only to be caught by a spinwheel kick by Muta. Pillman sends him face first into the buckle before it’s back to Scorpio for a clothesline, but Muta gets his knees up to block a splash. Windham comes back in and gets two off a legdrop and a suplex for the same. Muta comes right back in for some dropkicks and the power drive elbow for two. A hard kick sends Scorpio onto the ramp as everything breaks down. In the melee, Barry hits his lifting DDT on Scorpio to set up Muta’s moonsault for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches which could have been great if they had 20 minutes instead of seven. Muta was still incredibly popular because of how crisp he was in the ring and Pillman was one of the few people in the world who could go move for move with him. Good stuff here and I can’t imagine the other tag matches topping this given the names left.

Sting/Steve Williams vs. Jushin Thunder Liger/Erik Watts

Erik is of course Bill’s son and has no place on a show of this magnitude whatsoever. Liger and Sting start which is probably the best choice for all involved. They collide in the center of the ring with no one moving off stereo shoulders. Sting cranks on Liger’s arm and brings in Doc (Williams) who misses a charge into the corner to allow the tag to the dead meat. I mean Watts. Watts hits a quick armdrag so Williams promptly knocks his head off with a right hand. Erik fights back with a cross body but gets chopped into the corner for the tag off to Liger.

Jushin fires off all his high flying stuff with dropkicks and clotheslines but it’s like trying to knock down a small building. A HARD clothesline puts Liger down and it’s back to Sting. Liger counters a backdrop into a quick sunset flip for two and it’s back to Doc for a hot shot onto the top rope. Sting comes back in but after hitting a clothesline, his splash only hits the mat.

Williams comes back in and Liger has to face him because he knows Watts can’t do anything against either opponent. Doc chokes him on the top rope and works on the arm a bit but Liger tries a quick sleeper of all things. Williams counters with a vicious belly to back suplex and brings in Sting for a suplex of his own. Liger finally manages a faceplant on Williams to buy himself some time….but he has to tag in Watts.

Erik comes in and is booed out of the building, which should tell you about all you need to know about him. Watts looks confused so he sends Doc into the ropes, giving us the only spot that Watts is remembered for. As Doc is coming towards him, Erik jumps straight into the air and kind of pushes his feet forward. It’s called a dropkick but looks more like he was landing in the sand on a long jump in a track meet. Thankfully Doc just stumbles a bit and doesn’t go down. Watts trips him up and tries his STF but is pulled to the outside. Back in and Doc catches a charging Erik in a Stun Gun for the pin to advance.

Rating: D+. At some point you have to feel sorry for Watts. The guy flat out did not have the skills to be in a spot like this and it likely wasn’t his idea to go out there. The dropkick is horrendous and proof that he needed time in a training ring instead of a regular one, but again it’s not his fault that he’s out there in a national promotion.

To recap, we have Van Hammer, Dan Spivey, Dustin Rhodes, Vader, Great Muta, Barry Windham, Sting and Jushin Thunder Liger in BattleBowl.

We get a preview of Chono vs. Muta from….Larry Zbyszko? That is one of the oddest choices they could have picked and it’s more bizarre than informative.

NWA World Title: Great Muta vs. Masahiro Chono

Chono is defending and they have the big gold belt back now. The champion pounds away to start and kicks Muta in the side of the head for good measure. They head to the mat with Chono taking over via a headscissors followed by an enziguri to send Chono to the floor. Back in and they fight over a top wristlock before Muta bails to the floor again. They go to a test of strength and take it to the mat where Muta grabs a full nelson which transitions into an abdominal stretch.

Now Chono counters into an abdominal stretch of his own. The fans are now starting to boo so Muta reverses into an armbar on the mat. Chono shifts into one of his own as Jim Ross tries to defend this boring match by calling it methodical. Now Muta takes over with a figure four headscissors. Back up and Chono throws him to the floor as this just keeps going.

Back in and Chono puts on an armbar, which is probably the worst thing that could happen here. Muta tries to flip out but the champion doesn’t let go of the hold. Chono goes up to but gets caught in a superplex to finally wake up the crowd a bit. Off to a half crab by the challenger (Jesse: “Looks like a Hiroshima crab.”) before he switches over to an Indian Deathlock with a bridge into a chinlock.

Muta finally lets go and gets caught in a suplex, only to have Muta kicks him out to the floor. How this has been going on for over ten minutes is beyond me. The handspring elbow crushes Chono into the corner so he goes up top for the moonsault, only to have to land on his feet and hurt his knee coming down. They both try dropkicks and crash to the mat to keep this very boring. Back up and Muta counters a belly to back suplex into a cross body for two and a nice reaction for the kickout. Muta misses a dropkick though, allowing Chono to put on his STF for the win.

Rating: F. This was absolutely horrible. They were clearly in a very slow motion the entire time and never got going whatsoever. The ending came out of nowhere with Chono just throwing on a hold on the knee which barely seemed hurt at all. The unofficial story is that Watts told them to keep it slow so as not to show up the WCW guys, which would explain a lot here. Muta won the title about a week later, so I have no idea why he lost here.

Jim Ross talks about a tournament for the vacant US Title but Rude interrupts and complains about having the title stripped from him. He swears to be back and to take the US and world titles.

WCW World Title: Ron Simmons vs. Steve Williams

Ron is defending and JR is already spouting off football stats as both of these guys were NCAA lineman. Jesse goes on a rant about how Rude has been ripped off before we get going. Doc requests and receives a handshake with a surprising lack of attacking after. Apparently Ron is wrestling with a shoulder injury. The champion grabs a headlock to slow Doc down for a bit before they both hit the ropes and collide. No one moves anywhere so they get in a three point stance, but Simmons proves that Florida State is smarter than Oklahoma by jumping over Doc and clotheslining him down.

Simmons puts on an armbar but Williams rolls to the floor. Back in and Williams pulls Simmons’ limited hair to escape. Ron is annoyed so he cranks on the arm even more. The champ pounds on the arm even more and gets annoyed when Doc shoves him. They slug it out with Simmons taking over and going back to the armbar. Now Simmons goes up top but Williams just steps to the side, sending Ron crashing down to the mat.

Williams goes after Simmons’ leg as this match continues to be in slow motion. Off to a half crab by Doc with almost no torque on it at all. A chop block puts Simmons down again and Williams fires off kicks to the back of the leg. Doc puts on a leg bar before getting up for another slugout. Simmons keeps trying to fight back but shots to the knee keep bringing him down. A clothesline gets two for Williams as this match keeps plodding along.

Back to another weak leglock as Doc kicks away at the leg. A slam puts Ron down again and there’s another chop block for good measure. It works so well that Doc hits another. He tries a third but Ron catches him with a kick coming in to take over. The spinebuster puts Williams down and Ron takes him down with some shots to Williams’ knee. They fight to the floor and slug it out again with both guys getting counted out for a very lame ending.

Rating: D. The problem here is there was no reason at all for these two to be fighting. Williams is there because Rude couldn’t go, but Rude had been built up as the real challenge for months on end. The leg work was decent enough but it didn’t go anywhere with the ending having nothing to do with the leg at all. Also I have no idea why Williams was put in here, as Vader would win the world title a mere 48 hours after this show.

Post match the decision is changed to Doc being disqualified for attacking Simmons, which changes absolutely nothing at all.

Tag Titles: Barry Windham/Brian Pillman vs. Shane Douglas/Ricky Steamboat

Windham used to be tag champions with Dustin Rhodes but lost the belts to Steamboat and Douglas a few months ago. Pillman turned heel due to frustration with only being Light Heavyweight Champion and hooked up with Windham soon thereafter. A few weeks ago Barry beat the tar out of both champions with a chair so Steamboat and Douglas want revenge. Douglas and Pillman start things off as Jesse’s mind is blown hearing about Shane holding a masters degree. A right hand puts Pillman down and more of them break up Pillman’s sunset flip attempt.

Brian, tired of losing the wrestling portion of the match, rakes Shane’s eyes to take over. Shane dropkicks him to the floor as Steamboat comes in for a double dropkick on Barry. Pillman bails to the floor as the champions double backdrop Windham. Barry gets the tag and wants Steamboat all to himself. A hard chop puts Barry down and a suplex does the same. Steamboat slows Barry down with a front facelock and a snapmare before bringing Shane back in.

Douglas puts Barry in a chinlock but Windham picks Shane up and suplexes out of it. Back to Steamboat for a neck snap on Barry and a right hand to Pillman. All champions so far. A clothesline puts Barry on the floor and Steamboat slams him on the wooden floor for good measure. Barry climbs up onto the ramp so Shane slams him down again just because he’s not a nice person. Ricky backdrops Barry into the ring and gets two off a neckbreaker. Back to Shane for another chinlock as Barry is trying to survive.

Windham FINALLY gets something going with a jawbreaker on Shane, allowing for the tag off to Brian. A facejam puts Shane down but a dropkick sends Pillman out to the floor and possibly into the barricade. Back in and Shane goes up top, but a distraction by Windham allows Brian to dropkick him off the top and out to the floor. Barry adds a big lariat for good measure before coming in legally and headbutting Shane down. A boot to Shane’s chest stops his comeback bid and Brian gets in some cheating for good measure.

Brian comes back in legally and chops Douglas down but Shane comes back with some right hands of his own. Pillman trips him up though and it’s right back to Windham, who stomps on Shane and throws him through the ropes and into the barricade to keep the champions in trouble. Steamboat goes to the floor to check on his partner but also blasts Windham in the back with a chair. It’s still not enough for the tag to Ricky though as Pillman suplexes Shane down.

Barry comes in off the top with a punch to Shane’s face and a suplex for two. Ross is losing his mind over the beating that Shane is taking. A splash gets two for Brian and Steamboat charges in, allowing the challengers to double team Shane in the corner. Barry tries another suplex, but this time Douglas counters into one of his own. Shane fires off one last right hand before falling backwards into the tag to Steamboat.

The Dragon (Steamboat) cleans house with slams for both guys but he walks into a powerslam from Barry to stop the comeback cold. A belly to back suplex puts Ricky down again and it’s off to Pillman, who illegally throws Steamboat over the top to the floor. The referee missed it though due to Shane, who also causes the referee to miss Windham throwing Steamboat into the post.

Back in and Steamboat chops it out with Pillman but gets caught in a headscissors for two. Windham comes in again with a top rope forearm to Ricky’s ribs, causing Ricky to….lecture him? Steamboat points his finger in Windham’s face and says something to him which confuses Barry. Windham goes up top but misses a right hand, allowing Steamboat to hit a superkick and a facejam to put both guys down. A double tag brings in Shane vs. Pillman with Douglas cleaning house. Everything breaks down and Steamboat cross bodies Windham onto the ramp. Shane hits his belly to belly suplex in Brian for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: B+. Really awesome tag match here with all four guys working very hard to make everyone look good out there. Steamboat and Douglas would hold the belts until March, when Windham had to be replaced by Steve Austin due to an injury. Austin and Pillman proved to be a better team and took the belts, leading to a string of classic rematches. This was very good stuff though and match of the night by far to this point.

We recap Sting vs. Vader’s paths to the King of Cable Tournament final. That was always a really bad name for a tournament, because most people assumed it meant cable TV. In reality, the name was referring to the cables that made the ring ropes. Vader tried to hurt Sting when he found out they would be in the finals, so Sting broke a 2×4 over Vader’s back. These two have a LONG history together which would continue on for years after this.

In case you’re curious, here are the tournament brackets:

Rick Rude vs. Barry Windham
Sting vs. Brian Pillman
Vader vs. Tony Atlas
Dustin Rhodes vs. Barbarian

Rick Rude vs. Sting
Vader vs. Dustin Rhodes

King of Cable Finals: Sting vs. Vader

This is officially for a trophy but for these two it’s all about bragging rights and revenge. Sting has said that his battle plan coming in was to make Vader run out of gas. The problem with that is you have to survive Vader’s initial onslaught. Sting fires off some punches to start and Vader just shakes his head at him. Vader easily slams Sting down, much to his manager Harley Race’s approval. Sting gets up and walks int another slam, this time with just one arm.

That doesn’t work so Sting just charges at Vader, only to get his head knocked off by a clothesline. Sting is a lot of things, but intelligent never was one of them. Vader easily gorilla presses him up and drops Sting throat first on the top rope. Sting bails to the floor as he’s in BIG trouble early on. Back in and Vader pounds away, but Sting hits the ropes and then hits a running flipping body attack to take Vader down. A big boot puts Vader down again and Sting shows his own freakish strength by tossing Vader over his head in a German suplex.

A clothesline puts both guys on the floor and Vader is suddenly reeling. Sting gets back in and dives over the top onto Vader and Race to put both guys down again. The fans are losing their minds over this stuff. Vader is down on the floor as Sting calmly waits in the ring. Back in and Vader is all ticked off, so he pounds away on Sting with some HARD shots to the face and body. A splash misses in the corner though, allowing Sting to load up the Stinger Splash. Vader is ready though and gets his boot up, which collides with Sting’s face with a sick smacking sound.

Sting will have none of that though and kicks Vader in the face twice before DDTing Vader down. In an impressive strength display, Sting puts Vader on top and DDTs him off the top for two. There’s the Scorpion Deathlock but Vader quickly gets to the rope. Vader bails to the floor for a walk, so Sting follows with a Stinger Splash, only to hit the railing. For those of you keeping track of his career average on that move, Sting has probably tried it 1983 times and has hit maybe two of them. Like I said, he’s not that bright sometimes.

Back in and Vader is stalking Sting like a vulture, hitting a big splash in the corner to crush Sting. A clothesline gets two for Vader and he follows it up with some HARD right hands to the jaw. Vader drops Sting with a belly to back suplex and another splash which only gets two. The big man is getting very frustrated so he puts on a sloppy looking chinlock. He pulls back and DRILS Sting in the face with a crossface shot for two. Sting blocks a clothesline and gets a quick backslide for two but he can’t follow up.

Sting tries a sunset flip but has to roll away when Vader tries to drop down on his chest. Vader pops back up and starts blasting Sting in the face and ribs with JR wanting the match to be stopped. Sting counters a headlock with a belly to back suplex but he’s so spent that Vader covers him for two. Back up again and Vader just unloads on Sting in the corner, but most of the shots are hitting Sting’s forearms. Sting keeps his arms up for defense so Vader puts him on top for a superplex. Ever the hero, Sting pokes him in the eyes to drop Vader, but Sting is so spent that he just falls to the mat.

Vader puts him in the corner and goes off with even more rights and lefts, but Sting says bring it on. Vader’s shots are noticeably getting weaker and weaker and Sting is getting that adrenaline rush of his. A big right hand staggers Vader and three more drop the monster.

Sting lifts him up and drops Vader down with a Samoan drop, followed by a top rope splash for two. Now Sting isn’t sure what to do. He goes after Race on the apron, allowing Vader to get in a clothesline in the corner. Vader hits a chokeslam and goes up for a middle rope splash. He doesn’t cover though and goes up again, only to have Sting catch him in a powerslam and dive on top for the pin and the tournament.

Rating: A. This was an absolute war and it told a great story, as these two always did. It’s a great David vs. Goliath story….if David was 6’3 and had his face painted blue and white. Sting knew that he had to survive Vader long enough and challenge him to a fight, which he knew Vader would put everything he had into. The power displayed by Sting here was insane and words cannot accurately describe how hard Vader was hitting him. These two were seemingly incapable of having anything but a great match, so WCW just let them fight for about two and a half years straight. This is an excellent match and well worth seeing.

Sting is presented with his trophy.

NFL Hall of Famer Paul Hornung is here and talks about what winning the Super Bowl ring means. The idea is to compare it to the BattleBowl ring but it doesn’t quite work as well as they would like. Gee, it’s certainly a great idea to talk to a football player with a ring. It’s not like one of the most popular wrestlers in the world was presented with one earlier in the night or anything.

BattleBowl

Sting, Vader, Dustin Rhodes, Steve Williams, Van Hammer, Dan Spivey, Barry Windham, Great Muta

It’s an eight man battle royal for the ring. This is the third match of the night for five guys, giving Rhodes, Hammer and Spivey an advantage. Sting is also defending champion remember. He and Vader are exhausted as their match ended about five minutes earlier, so they fight on the ramp instead of getting in the ring. Sting finally gets inside but Vader dives over the top to get at Sting again.

Vader holds Sting so that Barry can pound away on him as everyone else just fights by the ropes. The match slows down a lot as there’s really no reason for most of these people to be fighting each other. Windham and Rhodes hate each other but that’s about it. Spivey and Windham try to put Sting out but Muta, Sting’s longtime rival, makes the save for no apparent reason. Now Vader saves Williams and starts choking Rhodes in the corner.

Everyone is exhausted so the action in the match pretty much stops. Rhodes dumps Windham to the ramp which doesn’t count apparently. Doc dumps out Van Hammer as Rhodes bulldogs Windham on the ramp. Now to add to the confusion, Sting drops Spivey onto the ramp and that counts as an elimination. Barry is back in now but he can barely stand up at this point. Vader hits a running clothesline on Sting, knocking both guys out to the ramp for a double elimination.

So we’re down to Muta, Rhodes, Windham and Doc, making for a rather dull ending to the match. Rhodes pounds on Barry due to old hatred while Doc beats on Muta due to a lack of anyone else to fight. Muta comes back with a pair of kicks on Williams as Barry is bleeding from the nose. Barry comes back with some shots to Dustin’s back as this is going VERY slowly. Windham goes up but gets taken down by Rhodes and DDT’d for good measure. Dustin and Doc go at it and put each other out maybe ten seconds later.

The fans are all behind Muta but Barry takes over and rams Muta into the corner. A quick suplex puts the Great one down and it’s time for Barry to throw him out. Muta hangs on so Barry suplexes him down again. Barry hits his superplex finisher and throws Muta out, but like any stupid heel he doesn’t pay enough attention, and Muta skins the cat to get back inside. A pair of dropkicks send Barry out and Muta wins BattleBowl.

Rating: D. Well that happened. Seriously what else do you want me to say here? It’s a battle royal for the sake of a ring with about three people the fans cared about in the slightest. Muta winning does very little for anyone as he had one more televised WCW match in the next year, which would be losing the NWA World Title to Windham in February. On top of that this was very boring as everyone had nothing left and spent most of the match laying on the ropes. Nothing to see here but the fans liked Muta winning at least.

Muta nearly jumps out of his skin when the fireworks go off.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a really hard one to grade. First of all, three of the first four tag matches are pretty much worthless. After that we have two lame world title matches to keep the show down even more. Then we have a very good tag match and an excellent Sting vs. Vader match followed by a lame battle royal. At the end of the day there’s more bad here than good, but the parts that are good are REALLY good.

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Time for a big man who never got a run that everyone that was always around the corner: Matt Morgan.

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Kurt Angle, Hardcore Holly, John Cena, Bradshaw, Chris Benoit
Brock Lesnar, Nathan Jones, Matt Morgan, Big Show, A-Train

Cena does a rap before the match about how big the other team is. This is one of Morgan’s few matches in WWE. From what I can find, he had 18 total matches, one of which was over a year after his previous one. Holly is here because Lesnar broke his neck and now Holly wants revenge. This would result in Hardcore Holly actually getting a world title match at the Rumble. Show is US Champion here.

Holly jumps Lesnar during his entrance and tries to put him into a full nelson, earning himself a DQ before the match ever starts. Back in the ring, Bradshaw and A-Train start things off with Bradshaw blocking a Vader Bomb and hitting the Clothesline for the elimination to tie us up. Bradshaw charges into a chokeslam from Show and is out 20 seconds later.

Cena comes in but can’t FU Show yet. Off to Brock but Cena takes his knee out. A quick rollup gets two and Cena does the same thing again. Off to Morgan who isn’t quite as polished as Lesnar. A side slam puts Cena down and it’s already off to Jones. Jones does some very basic choking and it’s back to Brock. Cena hits the Throwback on Brock and there’s the tag to Benoit (notice the pop).

Benoit pounds on Lesnar in the corner but it’s back to Big Show and there’s only so much Show can do with him. Show lifts Benoit into the air and drops him on his face while talking trash to Angle. The chokeslam is countered into the Crossface but Brock (who is Smackdown Champion here) makes the save. Show puts on an abdominal stretch of all things followed by the standing legdrop for two.

Angle gets a tag but the referee doesn’t see it. Back to Morgan for some skilled standing on Benoit’s throat. Benoit speeds things up and takes out Morgan’s knee before tagging in Angle. Kurt immediately rolls some Germans on Matt and everything breaks down. Angle Slam eliminates Morgan, the ankle lock eliminates Jones (who would quit in about two weeks and never be seen again) and the F5 takes out Kurt, all in the span of about 25 seconds.

This gets us down to Benoit and Cena vs. Lesnar and Big Show. Lesnar misses a charge in the corner and Benoit goes after the arm like a crazy man. Brock gets Benoit up for the F5 but Benoit counters into the Crossface. Show makes the save so Benoit puts it right back in, only to have Brock make the ropes. The third time though gets a rare tap from Brock as this match is flying by. That more or less makes Benoit the #1 contender.

It’s Benoit and Cena vs. Big Show now as the fans tell Lesnar that he tapped out. Benoit hits a top rope shoulder but can’t put on the Crossface. Cena gets a blind tag and there’s a chokeslam to Benoit. A chain to Show’s head and the FU are enough for the pin. Somehow Cena wouldn’t win the US Title from Show for almost six more months.

Rating: C. Not a great match here but to say it got the fans fired up is the understatement of the year. That FU at the end was the usual jaw dropping moment for Cena and while the rest of the match was pretty forgettable, the crowd is all ready to go now, which is the point of this kind of a match. Angle would turn heel and feud with Eddie soon into the new year.

Here’s a better match for him a few days later on Smackdown, November 20, 2003.

Matt Morgan vs. Shannon Moore

Moore literally only comes up to Matt’s chest. Morgan counters a tilt-a-whirl with ease and the beating is on. He slams Shannon down and destroys him with a big boot. More choking in the corner sets up a sitout powerbomb to end the massacre.

After spending almost all of 2004 in developmental, Morgan would go back and forth between OVW and Smackdown in 2005, including this match from June 16, 2005 on Smackdown.

Big Show vs. Matt Morgan

Morgan is Carlito’s bodyguard and fighting Carlito’s battles for him. Big Show nails some LOUD chops in the corner to start and Morgan is in early trouble. Carlito comes out for a distraction and Morgan sends Big Show to the floor with a knee to the back. Another knee drop gets two and we hit a chinlock. Big Show fights up with a kind of side slam to escape before easily winning a slugout. He knocks Morgan to the floor but gets sent into the steps. Morgan loads up the announce table but gets caught by the throat. Carlito nails Big show in the back with a chair for a DQ and no effect.

Rating: D+. The match was your standard battle of the giants but Big Show was clearly a few miles ahead of Morgan at this point. That being said, this is a few weeks after Morgan gave Big Show an F5 through the announce table so you would think he had already proven his worth.

None of this would matter as Morgan would be released about three weeks later. Morgan would wrestle in Japan and Europe until late 2007 when he would debut in TNA as Jim Cornette’s bodyguard. His first match in TNA would take place at Lockdown 2008.

Team Cage vs. Team Tomko

Christian, Nash, Sting, Rhino, Matt Morgan
Tomko, Bubba, D-Von, AJ Styles, James Storm

Remember that AJ is a comedy heel here so the talent is a bit one sided. Christian and AJ start as the smarks explode. Tomko teases being number one for his team but he sends AJ in instead. Now remember they’re going for five minutes and then after the coin toss whoever wins will have a two minute advantage and after that two minutes the losing team makes it 2-2.

That continues until all ten are in. Ten men are WAY too many but I love me some WarGames so this is fun. The heel team of course wins to continue the tradition. AJ is freaking amazing. He might be better at this point than he is now if you can believe that. AJ is dominating here and we have another heel coming. What is our future ECW Champion going to do???

Christian takes over for a bit but we get back to even as Brother Ray comes out. One of the beauties of this match is that you have seventeen minutes at least of wrestling before you get to the finale of the match. It’s a nice little break from those never ending matches that get rather boring.

Ray wears a Yankees jersey and remember we’re just outside of Boston (those teams hate each other for you non baseball fans). And Ray uses a Boston Crab. That’s just amusing. Rhyno ties us up. Didn’t they hate each other for like ever? The clock is ten kinds of screwed up now so it’s anyone’s guess how close they get to the right time. James Storm comes out maybe a minute and twenty seconds later. He’s got Jackie with him. Yeah I don’t care either.

He and Roode would hook up soon. For no explainable reason AJ climbs the cage and he and Christian fight on the top but Christian climbs down on the outside and gets knocked to the floor. Nash ties it up but Christian is still on the floor. He launches an AWESOME high cross body to Bubba and Storm. That was sweet looking. D-Von comes in after maybe a minute.

The clock is completely insane, but I can’t criticize it as the Royal Rumble is never anywhere close. I never remember a team that turns face or heel faster than 3D. I like the booking here as they’re letting the heels dominate when they’re way behind in talent but the booking is realistic. Matt Morgan comes in next and he’s as green as possible. He had been Cornette’s bodyguard forever but never got in the ring until here. We know it’s Tomko and Sting left so that’s no mystery.

There’s a lot of laying around here but you have to do that in a sense here as there are just too many people in there. AJ and Matt hook up for awhile which is a PPV main event someday if they quit messing around with Morgan. Oh that’s right: we need to have Hogan’s boys in the main event. Christian and Tomko go at it as the two captains which is always interesting.

D-Von is bleeding pretty well. The fans want Sting. Everyone stops to meet Sting but he pulls a 96 WarGames and beats them all up by himself. In a cool spot, Sting throws AJ up like for a back body drop but just kicks him in the balls instead. The roof with the weapons is lowered. Everybody grabs one as they have them on the roof too. Yeah they’re not even bothering trying to hide that they’re going up there.

Oh ok there’s a trap door so it’s more obvious. I kind of like that. Storm and Christian go up there which unclutters the ring a bit as it badly needs. There’s a bit hole in the roof which is kind of a cool visual. Nash and Morgan do a double chokeslam on 3D. AJ grabs a kendo stick and just massacres people with it. We have a table on the roof and AJ heads up there too so there are three up there and seven in the ring. AJ sets up a ladder ON TOP OF THE CAGE. Once he climbs it, he might be higher up than on top of the HIAC. I’m pretty sure he is.

As someone afraid of heights, that’s scary as all all goodness to me. Christian climbs up too and Storm shoves the ladder over. Nothing at all is happening in the cage mind you. They couldn’t have gone any further without a potential serious injury. And then Rhyno gores Storm for the pin. What the heck was that???? It’s like they ran out of time all of a sudden and said OH DANG end it.

Rating: B-. That’s mainly for the bad ending. There was no big dramatic moment or anything and they just had the Gore for the pin. I’m not wild on that at all. The ten people are just WAY too many for one ring. This should have been 3-3 or so and nothing more. Actually 4-4 could work. There were also far too many dead spots too.

This is definitely a good idea but it needs a lot of tweaking with the main thing being an adjustment to the amount of people. I’m probably shortchanging this a bit, but there were too many people and too much laying around doing nothing because of the confined space. The two ring, 8 man matches were always, well at least almost always, awesome because they found that balance. If TNA can do that then these matches go WAY up in value.

Morgan would team up with Abyss and challenge for the Tag Team Titles at Bound For Glory 2008.

Tag Titles: Matt Morgan/Abyss vs. Beer Money vs. Team 3D vs. LAX

This is Monster’s Ball and Beer Money have the belts. Steve McMichael of all people is the guest referee. He looks OLD too. The intros here are freaking ridiculous. Basically this is a four way street fight/hardcore match but I’m not sure if the pins have to be in the ring or not. WAY too many people in the ring here.

You know at this point, is Mongo the most successful singles wrestler in there? Ah that’s right Abyss is a former world champion. Not that we’re ever told that anymore or anything though. Bunch of high spots including a tope con hilo from Homicide. We break out the weapons and its really nothing special at all. Homicide has a fork for no apparent reason and stabs D-Von’s head with it.

Abyss is on his anti-weapons thing here. Cheese grater comes out as I feel like I’m on Emeril or something. That doesn’t sound bad actually as I’m a bit hungry. Bubba suplexes Hernandez from the middle rope and the fans want tables. Blockbuster by Roode which makes me smile a bit. Total weapons thing starts up here as Mongo steals the tacks from Storm.

Mongo is FAT. We get a football sequence complete with helmet and football and Beer Money goes down of course. Morgan does a big dive to the floor to take out a bunch of people. This is such a huge mess. Johnny Devine comes out and pops Abyss with a kendo stick a few times. Table and lighter fluid are brought in on the stage. Abyss goes through it off a double chokeslam from the Dudleys.

Homicide in control now. I’ve never seen this ring genius or whatever that he’s supposed to be. Sweet goodness Mongo counts slow. Sit out powerbomb by Hernandez gets two. Elevated Gringo Cutter gets two due to Jackie getting the save. Apparently the Dudleys and Morgan have like died or something. Ah there’s Morgan. Border Toss to Morgan as Bubba brings in a table.

Supermex makes the save for Homicide though as this is probably getting close to the end. Mongo helps lay out the tacks on the table and Hernandez hits a 3D on the table on the tacks but Beer Money runs in to steal the pin.

Rating: B-. It certainly was violent, but it was just a big long weapons match. This is the longest match of the night, getting over twenty minutes. Mongo hurt this a lot as he counted so slowly that it appeared that he was shortchanging everyone with the cadence of his counts. This was pretty good but at the same time it was nothing we hadn’t seen before. Also having 8 guys out there was just too much. Still fun though.

As you would expect, the team would split and have a bunch of gimmick matches against each other. Here they are at Destination X 2009 in a Match of 10,000 Thumbtacks.

Abyss vs. Matt Morgan

You win by throwing the other person into the tacks. What a novel concept indeed. Morgan jumps him to start and takes over. There is no sign of the tacks to start but I guess they’re coming later. Abyss chops him in the chest HARD and the crowd responds loudly. So much for the offense though as a clothesline puts him out on the floor.

Ah there are the tacks. They’re on big tables/boards and not really held down at all. Abyss sets them up in front of the stage while Morgan is down, only to get sent into the railing. Morgan, ever the scholar, tries for the cover and is told that it doesn’t work. I guess that wasn’t part of his, ahem, blueprint for the match?

Ok wait now there’s a pole with tacks in it? So you can put them in ANY set of tacks? Is this a tack scavenger hunt? Morgan gets in his face and talks some trash and escapes a chokeslam. We get the Umaga running hips to the head of Morgan in the corner. There’s another bag of tacks on another corner. You know Russo had SOMETHING to do with this. Abyss plays to the crowd and walks into a Carbon Footprint to take him down.

If it sounds like I’m bored it’s because I am. This is a very boring match because they aren’t really teasing the tacks at all and are just having a match where they keep grabbing more and more tacks. Lot blow by Abyss and he throws Morgan into a chair wedged between the ropes. Abyss finally tries a powerbomb into the tacks but gets reversed. He has to settle for the Black Hole Slam not into the tacks instead.

Here’s some glass to be put on top of the tacks. You know because we haven’t done this in awhile right? Morgan heads up the stage only to be caught in a chokeslam attempt. That of course doesn’t happen and Morgan knocks him into the tacks off the stage to finally end this match which felt like it lasted about 8 hours instead of 8 minutes.

Rating: D. This was one of the least interesting matches I can remember in a long time because no one thought Abyss had a chance of winning it. Boring match as they spent like a minute of the match teasing going into the tacks and that’s all there was to it. At least they let Abyss be in a weapons match as he was supposed to be.

Morgan was a hot enough act that he got a World Title shot at Hard Justice 2009.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Sting vs. Matt Morgan

To waste more time, everyone gets the camera shot of them coming to the ring and then a video about them. Big match intros waste another few minutes. I guess wrestling doesn’t matter yet. Angle is SKINNY here, maybe weighing 170. Morgan and Angle work together to start but Angle gets caught quickly by Sting, getting us down to one on one. Everyone on the floor now and the brawl is on.

Sting works over Morgan, sending him into the railing a few times. Morgan’s wife is here apparently. The Mafia takes over again and the beating continues. Morgan is all like I told you I’d help. Sting again fights them off and takes over for like the third time in this match. Both guys get splashes and Morgan is sent to the floor. Suplex gets two on Kurt who wakes up and drills Sting to take over again.

We talk about AJ not being here and how he has a major announcement on Impact which was to be his retirement until Sting stepped in to save the day. Back in the ring the Angle Slam is countered into a Scorpion attempt but Morgan makes the save. Slam gets two. Ankle lock is reversed and it’s Morgan vs. Sting again. There are the corner elbows and Morgan just drops him instead of hitting a side slam which gets two.

Fallaway slam hits as Kurt really shouldn’t be down this long due to a reversed ankle lock. Angle pulls the top rope down to send Morgan to the floor and the not-exactly-giant isn’t happy. Morgan says the deal is over and hits the Carbon Footprint to take down Kurt on the floor. Well at least he has a reason to be down now. Kurt claims a shoulder injury now. There’s no one to count the pin that Morgan has on Sting now and Matt isn’t pleased.

Scorpion Death Drop in the ring and now Hebner is right there. Does that make Morgan Bret Hart some how? Now Kurt is holding his neck. Make up your crazy mind already dude. Morgan takes Sting’s head off with the kick and Hebner is slow getting there again, only for Kurt to pull him out. “You screwed Matt!” Kurt brings in a chair and takes both guys down with chair shots, good for the pin on Morgan to retain.

Rating: C. Just a triple threat here as not a lot was really accomplished here. Morgan gets screwed over again and Kurt is still champion. Sting of course will keep fighting and that’s about it. The match was just ok and nothing special in the slightest. Not a horrible match or anything but nothing that you couldn’t see on any other show.

Next up was a tag team with Hernandez because they were both big and strong. They got a title shot at Genesis 2010.

Tag Titles: British Invasion vs. Hernandez/Matt Morgan

The stupidity of just putting two big names like these guys into a team astounds me but whatever. If nothing else they’re most likely getting the tag titles off of the worthless British Invasion, although putting them on two guys thrown together and called a tag team? That’s nothing WWE would ever do, nope.

Hernandez is wearing a shirt here so it looks like he’s wrestling in a one piece swimsuit. It’s fairly obvious that we’re getting new champions here but at least they’re giving us a bit of drama first and letting the Invasion have some credibility. The problem here is that other than Williams we have three power guys and Williams isn’t in the match much either. Oh and Nick Hogan is here too. This is idiotic at this point.

They make fun of the vintage joke, because no one has ever done that before. Williams gets a jumping back elbow from the top which makes this a much better match already. Morgan FINALLY hits the chokeslam that he’s been trying to get all match. The problem with this match is apparent as either face is able to beat up both champions on his own. What’s the point of something like that? The bicycle kick from Morgan hits and it’s so hard that Magnus jumped before it connected. That’s very impressive.

Rating: C. This was average. The title change was more or less a given and there’s nothing at all wrong with that. Sometimes you have to have it go one way or the other and that’s what this did here. It’s not bad but it was more of a formality than anything else and it came off pretty well.

I’ll skip over the split and Morgan becoming the Tag Team Champions (yes he said it like that) by himself. Hernandez would win most of the matches in their feud so we’ll skip ahead to Turning Point 2010 when Morgan got another World Title shot.

TNA World Title: Matt Morgan vs. Jeff Hardy

Wow I want this show to end very badly. Hardy of course gets a big face reaction. Why does Russo always have to insist on trying to turn the most over faces in the company heel (and by that I mean STING)? Morgan overpowers him to start of course. Hardy keeps stalling a lot as he can’t buy a heel reaction if his life depends on it.

Hardy tries to work on Morgan’s knee as he slows things way down. This is weird to see to put it mildly. More knee work and Jeff of course covers. Mornga makes his comeback with pure power but his knee is still hurting him. Jeff gets a DDT for two and no one cares. To say Jeff is the more popular of these two is a huge understatement. Chokeslam gets two.

Hardy gets a low blow and Twist of Hate to ZERO reaction from the crowd. Everyone knew he wasn’t winning with it and no one cared. Oh listen to that Hardy chant. Russo, please, understand this: THE MEGA FACES ARE MEGA FACES BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE THEM! They screw something up BAD or this was supposed to be a screwjob spot as Morgan takes his head off with the bicycle kick and covers for two but the referee just stops counting even though there was no kickout. He says two as Jeff merely raised his foot which is apparently a kickout. That looked awful and everyone was confused.

A second Twist out of nowhere gets two again to another lack of reaction. And then a few seconds later Hardy gets a Whisper in the Wind and a third Twist of Hate to end it and keep the title. Morgan looked like a jobber to the stars here. Fourtune and Immortal come out to celebrate the victory to end the show, complete with champagne, beer and confetti. Oh and it’s red and yellow of course. Oh and Flair gets iced.

Rating: F. This was the main event of the Pay Per View. This match is nowhere near as good as I’ve made it sound which may sound conceited but it’s true. Hardy as a heel is more or less a failure as EVERYONE LOVES HIM STILL. This isn’t 1996 and he isn’t Hulk Hogan which is what they’re going for. Back then the fans wanted to boo Hogan but were wanting a reason. That worked wonders.

Morgan would go back to fighting Hernandez for no apparent reason, including this match at Lockdown 2011.

Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

Battle of the giants here even though one of the giants is 6’2. I’m not sure how well that plays but they both look big so it works out fine. Anarquia reaches through the cage to pull Morgan’s leg and give Hernandez the advantage. Hernandez hammers away and we hit the nerve hold. Dude get your racial stereotypes straight. That’s a Samoan move.

Basically they’re having a regular match in a cage which is part of the problem with this show every year. Running shoulder in the corner by Hernandez and he poses a lot again. Either Morgan is legit hurt or Hernandez is really stupid as he’s walked around for about 30 seconds now. Morgan pops up with a discus lariat to put both guys down for a bit.

Here’s Morgan’s comeback which is just ok. Backdrop suplex gets two. Hernandez ends that with something like a headbutt to the ribs for two. Morgan avoids a charge to send Hernandez into the cage. The girls climb up on the cage as does Anarquia. Down goes the dude and Hernandez tries to come off the top. Morgan catches him with a really bad looking Carbon Footpring to end this.

Rating: D. Boring match here again as nothing worked in it again. Morgan never got anything going for the most part and the ending was weak looking. Again though the right guy won and hopefully that ends the feud. Boring match again as one more time I’m glad I didn’t go to this show.

Morgan would hook up with Crimson and win the Tag Team Titles, which would be defended at Final Resolution 2011.

Tag Titles: Crimson/Matt Morgan vs. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero

Crimson vs. Pope gets us going here with Crimson using his cravate with the knees to take over. Morgan comes in and he wants D-Von. That isn’t the best idea in the world as D-Von takes over with his usual stuff. Back to Red Man vs. Pope with the street preacher who never preaches taking over. STO gets two but he gets speared down quickly. An exploder suplex gets the same.

Morgan hits the fallaway slam for two as well as a side slam. Pope finally gets in a DDT to put both guys down and brings in D-Von off the not-hot tag. A neckbreaker and headbutt off the top get two on Crimson. Everything breaks down and there’s a spinebuster to Crimson. Top rope elbow from Pope gets two. A double chokeslam from the champions keep the titles on them at 9:33.

Rating: D. Again, this was BORING. There’s no heat on any of these matches because their build has been horrible or non-existent. This D-Von vs. Pope stuff has been going on since June and it’s still not getting anywhere. That’s one of TNA’s problems: they take forever to get anywhere which is what’s going on with this. That and no one cares about D-Von in 2011 but that goes without saying.

It’s been quite a lot of TNA so far so let’s go to India. From the first Ring Ka King show.

Ring Ka King Heavyweight Title Tournament: Sir Brutus Magnus vs. Matt Morgan

Magnus runs to the corner to start. Morgan gets his hands on him and throws him around with ease. Magnus gets sent to the floor and it’s time for a chase scene. Morgan misses a corner splash and Magnus takes over. A slam attempt fails as Morgan falls onto him for two. Off to an abdominal stretch by Magnus which Morgan easily escapes and starts his comeback. He beats Magnus up and hits a chokeslam, followed by the Carbon Footprint for the pin at 5:14.

Rating: D. This was a really basic and boring power match. I’ve seen far worse but there really isn’t anything going on here. Morgan looks like a force though which is the point of this. Not terrible but if Magnus is supposed to be the top heel in the company or at least the mouthpiece for it (no sign of him being a coward yet) shouldn’t he be treated as something better than a jobber to the stars like he was here?

Morgan would leave the company for most of the summer in 2012 before returning as Joey Ryan’s bodyguard. They would challenge for the Tag Team Titles at Genesis 2013.

Tag Titles: Matt Morgan/Joey Ryan vs. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez

Chavo and Hernandez are defending and I’m glad to see this match get done first as it’s probably the least interesting one on the card for me. I just don’t care about either team at all. Chavo and Joey get things going with the champion taking him into the corner to start, only to get caught in a slingshot to send him into Morgan’s forearm. Off to the big man who almost immediately tags Ryan in again.

Joey dropkicks Guerrero down but like an idiot won’t cover. Chavo rolls into the corner for the tag to Hernandez who hits a BIG backdrop (Keneley can’t remember what to call it) before facing off with Hernandez. Joey blasts Hernandez in the back to allow Morgan to take over. Off to Joey for some chest rubbing and a front facelock. Morgan comes back in for a single shot and it’s back to Ryan again.

Morgan’s discus lariat keeps Hernandez down and he laughs at Hernandez for not being able to tag out. Hernandez finally avoids a charge in the corner from Ryan and makes the tag, but naturally the referee doesn’t see it. Morgan and Ryan tag in and out some more to beat on SuperMex with Matt holding Hernandez up for Ryan to pound away. Joey hooks a lame neck crank which Hernandez easily breaks and follows up with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.

Hot tag brings in Chavo to clean house with Three Amigos on Ryan. Everything breaks down and Chavo staggers Morgan with a missile dropkick. The champs hit a double dropkick to send Morgan staggering over Ryan before Hernandez hits a SICK (and mostly botched) sitout powerbomb on Joey. The Frog Splash retains the titles at 11:30.

Rating: C. The match was fine aside from Ryan nearly having his neck broken. Ryan and Morgan have no reason to be together and I’m hoping the team gets split up after tonight. Morgan has the potential to be a big star in Aces and 8’s but instead, they’re just wasting him on a guy who is basically a comedy act. Nothing to see here and not a great choice for an opener.

We’ll wrap it up with a match from Impact on May 2, 2013.

Matt Morgan vs. Sting

The winner gets Bully Ray at Slammiversary. Morgan pounds away in the corner as Taz talks about how great he is in Aces and 8’s. Matt hits him with some hard clotheslines and right hands followed by a chokeslam for two. Back with Morgan ramming Sting into the barricade before heading back inside for some choking. Sting fights back on the floor with some shots into the barricade and steps. We head inside again but Sting walks into the side slam for two.

Morgan misses an elbow drop and gets caught by the Stinger Splash in the corner. Matt fights back with the rapid fire elbows and the Carbon Footprint….for two. Another Footprint hits the buckle and there’s the Scorpion Deathlock. Matt is in big trouble but never taps out. He finally makes the rope so Sting puts the hold right back on. Morgan blacks out from the pain to send Sting to Slammiversary at 13:07.

Rating: D+. As soon as I heard this match announced, I knew Sting was getting the title shot. Why did I know that? Because that’s what happens in TNA. No matter what your other options may be, at the end of the day it’s going to be Sting getting the title shot no matter what. People have been BEGGING to see Morgan elevated for years now, but let’s go with Sting again because he and Hogan have to cowboy up and fight the bikers, because that’s what people (and by that I mean Sting and Hogan) want to see.

That match sums up TNA and Morgan’s career in a nutshell: he could have been the next big thing but he was always passed over. I saw the potential in Morgan but never to the level that a lot of other people saw. He could have been a good monster but I didn’t buy him as the face of a promotion. Still though, he had a good look and could throw a good kick so what more do you need?

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There are only two of these shows left that I haven’t done so I’ll be doing this and the 2007 show back to back as I try to get closer to finishing off TNA PPVs. This is from WAY back in TNA’s history as we have a double main event. The new NWA World Champion Christian is defending tonight against Monty Brown and we also have Joe vs. AJ vs. Daniels in an Ultimate X match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is….weird. The idea is something like a silent movie or an opera with a guy supposed to be Sting watching a video about Destination X. This is in black and white and is rather odd indeed. Sting is returning again tonight apparently. Oh wait it’s Steve Borden, not Sting. Like I said, Sting is back tonight.

Alex Shelley vs. Jay Lethal

Shelley is doing this weird Paparazzi thing where they film everything so he sets up a camera in front of the ring. It was one of those concept gimmicks that TNA had that never really made a lot of sense but it happened anyway. Jay Lethal is just Jay Lethal and is only twenty years old here. We hear about the World X Cup which was a pretty cool concept actually. Shelley is only 22 here so he’s barely a veteran. He and his partner Abyss had just broken up. Now there’s a tag team for you.

Technical stuff to start us off as we hit the mat. Konnan is doing Spanish commentary. Lethal works on the legs with their legs interlocked. Shelley rolls around and they’re standing on their heads with their legs interlocked and slapping each other. Cool looking spot but I’m not sure what it gets up. More striking leads to a standoff. Shelley looks SO young here that it’s insane.

Cross body and rana send Shelley to the floor and a suicide dive takes Shelley down. Lethal takes over with a dropkick to the back for two. Two boots to the face by Shelley draw a Shelley Sucks chant which is so weird to hear in modern wrestling. Modified Kofi Klutch by Shelley doesn’t last long. Off to the chinlock for a few seconds before a clothesline gets two for Shelley.

The move we would call Wasteland sets up a missed Lionsault and both guys are down. Lethal gets a neckbreaker and a single arm suplex for two. The fans chant Lethal Weapon (How was that never a move name for him???) as Shelley takes him down again. German gets two for Lethal. Diving headbutt gets two also. Lethal wrestles a lot like Benoit from the early to mid 90s. Not that it matters as Shelley grabs Sliced Bread #2 to end it.

Rating: C-. Not terrible but far more of a collection of moves than a good match. Shelley wasn’t much at this point and Lethal was just a kid here also so there wasn’t much as far as a ring general out there. Lethal not having a finisher didn’t help either, making this a fairly boring match overall. Certainly not a bad match, but really not that interesting at all.

Time to run down the card.

Team Canada talks about their matches tonight, making fun of the Naturals. This was back in the day when Impact was on Saturdays so they keep referencing last night. Coach D’Amore brags about Canada a bit. Shelley shows up to steal Young to film more stuff. Young says his Canadian Danger Sense is going off like never before. A-1 is apparently replacing him in the tag match later.

Matt Bentley vs. Lance Hoyt

Bentley has Traci with him and has one major thing going for him: his cousin is Shawn Michaels. These two were partners and broke up over Traci I believe. Standard stuff but nothing wrong with it. Speed vs. power here and power takes over to start. There are some St. Louis Cardinals here. Bentley tries to leave so Traci uses her overly large chest to distract Lance.

This fails completely so Hoyt tries a big boot and chokeslam. Matt goes after the knees but walks into a powerslam for two. BIG side slam for two. Maverick Matt (he’s fighting the Ticked Off Texan here. See what I’m up against?) gets a neckbreaker for two. Front facelock goes on as does my alarm to wake me up when this is over.

They slug it out, won by Hoyt. Pumphandle slam gets two so the future Vance Archer goes up for a missed moonsault, Apparently the entire company is bored by this match as we pan up to Young, Shelley and Borash in the rafters where they’re looking for Sting. Young drops some fliers out to the fans as we’re ignoring the match entirely. Traci shows it to Bentley, breaking up the superkick finisher. It says “Have you seen this man?” with a picture of Sting, saying contact Jeff Jarrett immediately. Hoyt gets a big boot to end this. What a mess.

Rating: F. Even the company decided to have something else going on during this match. When a match reaches that level of bad, you know you’ve got something bad on your hands here. Neither of these guys ever did anything and would have TV matches on PPV like this for a good while to come.

Rhyno, Team 3D and Ron Killings say they’re going to take down Planet Jarrett. It’s an 8 man tag tonight. Oh wait an 8 man war. Got it.

Team Canada vs. The Naturals

Bobby (Robert) Roode and Eric Young here. The Naturals are Chase Stevens and Andy Douglas. Roode vs. I think that’s Stevens to start us off. The announcers are talking about buffets or something so I’m not sure. Stevens (I was right) takes over and the Naturals double team a bit. Douglas takes over on Young but Roode hooks the leg to take over. Let’s talk about Sting some more as Young’s nickname being SHOWTIME started the Sting return stuff. It’s going to be one of those nights.

Stevens comes back in again and no one cares. I don’t even think Stevens does. He puts Young on the rope and kicks him onto the ropes crotch first. Interference takes over allowing Roode to hammer on Stevens (does it matter?) including a knee drop off the middle rope. Off to Young again as we’re firmly into the boring stages of this match again.

The fans chant USA as I could go for a history lecture at this point. Young gets flipped upside down in the corner but Douglas won’t let him walk along the apron. Stevens gets an enziguri to send Young outside. A-1 helps him back in and puts him in the corner right next to Roode. Well Canadians always have had better wrestlers than we have. Ice cold tag brings in Douglas who gets a tornado DDT on Roode for two.

The Naturals totally botch something and down goes Eric. Full Nelson Slam by Roode to Stevens gets two. Piledriver is broken up and it’s a Tower of Doom spot which you never see in modern TNA for some reason. That only gets two on Roode and their finisher doesn’t work. Instead a hockey stick to the head of Douglas ends this. Thank goodness it’s over.

Rating: D. This is one of those matches where the wrestling is fine but at the same time there was NOTHING of interest in the entire match. No point here to this being on PPV as the whole thing went too long and nothing at all was interesting nor did there seem to be a point to this match at all. Granted that could be said about almost every match on this show so far.

Monty Brown says he’s awesome and he’s going to win the title. Larry Zbyszko comes up looking like a stupid tourist and says it’ll be a level playing field. And that’s about it.

We recap the James Gang vs. LAX. No point to the match here but apparently it’s a long feud and the James Gang (Outlaws) bring in…..Road Dogg’s father Bob Armstrong to make this a six man tag.

LAX vs. James Gang/Bob Armstrong

LAX is Konnan, Homicide and Machete who would be a bigger deal in Puerto Rico and this would be his last major appearance in TNA. And Armstrong is in tights of course. This is the same one that was put into the WWE HOF this year. He’s 66 years old here and is considered the savior in a feud. This wouldn’t be the last time either which says a lot about TNA. Road Dogg (BG James) says this isn’t about catchphrases and something about ticking off a tribal elder or something.

This is about Konnan vs. BG apparently. Tenay brags about Armstrong wearing 30 year old boots and having broken into wrestling 40 years ago. Machete vs. BG to start us off. Apparently LAX hurt papa awhile ago. BG gets triple teamed which doesn’t last long. LAX cheats a lot and I can’t believe we’re only 1/3 done with this show. Homicide in now with a reverse neckbreaker for two. What’s a regular neckbreaker if that’s the reverse?

Both guys try flying forearms but crash into each other. Kip (Billy Gunn) and Machete in. If BG and Kip’s last name is James, why is BG’s dad’s last name Armstrong? Everyone hits the floor and it’s Konnan vs. Bob in the ring. He left Mexico for this people! Armstrong fires away and for some reason Konnan has to sell for him. Machete tries a chair shot which is broken up by the Bullet. Machete is surrounded by all three and a One and Only (Cobra Clutch Slam) ends him quickly. Totally pointless.

Rating: D. Well Konnan is now worthless. TNA and so many other wrestling companies can never get the concept that NO ONE KNOWS WHO BOB ARMSTRONG IS! He was a regional guy back in the 70s and early 80s. Why in the world would I want to watch a no name in his sixties on PPV? With Flair it’s a bit different but still dude, let it go. Match was dull too because everyone knew LAX would lose.

Time for Sting related segment #4 in the first hour. Young and Shelley are looking for him and Young rolls across the floor like a ninja. Is he going to kidnap a Samoan? They go into a bathroom and AJ is there. There’s a coat on the floor and gay jokes are made. Idiotic.

Petey Williams vs. Puma vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Chris Sabin

International match here. Puma is somewhat more famous as TJ Perkins in ROH. This was part of the buildup for the American X Cup which was something like an Olympics for X guys. This is during Hail Sabin which is rather cool. One fall to a finish here but they have to tag. Puma vs. Dutt to start us off. Puma manages to counter an armdrag into a rollup somehow as they’re flying around here.

Off to Petey and Sabin very quickly and it’s gymnastics time again. Springboard cross body misses for Petey but Sabin gets a springboard missile dropkick for two. Thumb to the eye of Sabin and he can’t see. Everyone is in the ring quickly and we wind up with Puma vs. Sabin. The masked dude (Puma) throws on a double underhook hold for a bit and it’s off to Petey again.

This is going WAY too fast to keep up with everything that happens. Dutt comes in and hits a Lionsault to Puma for two. Off to Williams vs. Dutt now as Petey puts him in the Tree of Woe. Blind tag by Sabin which lets him get a hesitation dropkick to Sonjay. Surfboard goes on as we slow things way down again.

And now we get a fine example of why wrestling looks stupid. With the same hold on, Dutt rotates his arms to escape and get behind Sabin into the same hold. Dutt however doesn’t have a hold of Sabin. Sabin is in the hold BECAUSE HE IS HOLDING ONTO SONJAY’S WRISTS. Dutt takes over and chops away because Sabin is really, really stupid. Off to Puma now which makes me wonder why you would ever tag out in a match like this.

Dropkick gets two for Puma. Williams comes in and stomps away on Sabin some more, including singing O Canada while standing on Sabin’s Motor City Machine Gun. Chinlock goes on and they slug it out. Sabin goes to the floor so Petey hits a slingshot rana to the floor and it’s time for the dives. Dutt sets for his but Puma drills him with a clothesline for two.

Everyone teases dives and blocks various other people’s stuff until Dutt takes everyone out with a big moonsault off the top. I’m glad the tagging got thrown out the window about 5 minutes in. Everyone is down again in the ring after more fast paced stuff. All four people snap off all kinds of stuff and Petey tries a Sharpshooter for a big pop. Tornado DDT takes Puma down again and it’s Canadian Destroyer time. That gets reversed by Dutt into a Fade To Black (Kaz’s move).

Sabin and Dutt chop it out with Sabin grabbing a powerbomb and into a helicopter bomb for two. Puma breaks it up and gets a double underhook delayed suplex for two on Sabin. Puma gets sent to the floor and Williams hits the Destroyer on Dutt and Puma pops up again to take out Williams. His save costs him though as he turns around into the Cradle Shock to end Puma and give Sabin the win.

Rating: B+. Very fast paced and fun match here that did exactly what it was supposed to do: get the crowd going after the AWFUL first hour. The X Cup was always cool and gave us some incredibly fun and exciting matches such as this one. Very fun stuff here as the international flare was a nice touch to it. No story or selling to it but there wasn’t supposed to be.

And now off to Jarrett as we stay on Sabin for a total of 5 seconds before we MUST see the draw here. And no, I’m not saying that those four or that style could carry the company because it couldn’t. Jarrett, Abyss and AMW say that they’ll win the war. Mitchell says Jarrett’s Army is awesome. Jarrett talks about Sting because he has to. Young and Shelly come in AGAIN, literally making their fifth appearance each tonight. Jarrett calls off the hunt for Sting (thank goodness) and that he’ll be in the ring if Sting wants to come find him.

We recap the 8 man war. Basically the faces are opposing Planet Jarrett/Jeff Jarrett’s Army or whatever they’re calling it this week. This is one of those feuds where it’s three feuds in one.

Jeff Jarrett’s Army vs. Team 3D/Ron Killings/Rhyno

The Army is Jarrett, AMW and Abyss. Jackie Gayda is being held against her will due to something about a video tape. At least Gail Kim looks hot here. So in other words, Jeff has had Debra, Gail and Karen. Not bad at all. It’s so weird to hear What’s Up on a TNA show. This is just a big street fight. The non Army (Navy?) hits the ring and we’re out of the ring almost immediately.

Truth would be the captain of the team for lack of anyone better. They’re in the aisle, the stands and the stage all at once. Rhyno tries to Gore Abyss off the stands but Abyss gets a boot up. Bubba ACTUALLY HITS THE BACK SPLASH (minus the rope) on Storm I think. Jarrett and Truth go to the Spanish table. D-Von and Harris are finally found in the stands. Rhyno pops Abyss with a chair. If this sounds all over the place, there’s a reason for that.

Jarrett gets some chair shots into Truth and since they’re the only ones you can see clearly we stay on them for a bit. We finally can see everyone and it’s Storm vs. Rhyno in the ring at the moment. Rhyno actually tags in D-Von and even the announcers make fun of it. The Dudleys try a Doomsday Device but Harris saves, allowing Abyss to chokeslam Ray.

Off to Jarrett vs. D-Von now with Jarrett in total control. And scratch that as Storm comes in and down he goes. The future Bully comes in and cleans house. Rhyno adds a spinebuster for two. Abyss hammers on Rhyno a bit now and the slug out goes to Abyss. Jarrett gets a dropkick and it’s off to Storm. Uh make that Harris. We have a chinlock in a WAR. I give up.

Yep it’s a boring match now. They managed to take a huge brawl that was pretty cool to start off and turned it into another boring tag match. Rhyno vs. Jarrett now and both guys go down. Harris comes in to make sure nothing exciting happens here. Perish the thought. Killings FINALLY comes in to clean house. He avoids a splash from Abyss in the corner and gets that suplex into a Stunner to Storm for two.

The Dudleys come in and it turns into a big brawl again. Guitar comes in and Jarrett has to hide it from the referee because this is a stupid match. Gore takes Jarrett down but a Black Hole Slam does the same to Rhyno. Gail breaks up What’s Up so Jackie comes in and it’s a double What’s Up to Gail and Jeff. D-Von goes to do the chest slap to Jackie and pauses in a funny spot.

3D takes out Abyss but AMW takes out Team 3D. Death Sentence to D-Von and Killings gets taken down by a double team as well. I hear handcuffs but Truth apparently has experience with them as Harris winds up cuffed to the ring. Axe kick gets two as Jarrett pulls the referee out. Jarrett and Truth slug it out a bit and the Stroke ends this rather quickly.

Rating: C. Leave it to TNA to take their WAR and make it boring for a large part of it. They started in an actual war then went to a regular match and then to a big decent fight. Of course TNA managed to take what could have been a good match and get the whole order of it screwed up. Match was just ok and the feud would continue for the most part next month at Lockdown.

Jarrett complains about Sting a bit and says he’s a coward. He gets in the ring and gives Sting a ten count which Sting doesn’t answer.

We recap Ultimate X with the idea being that no one can beat Joe so the two X Division guys are going to put him in their match. Joe was AWESOME at this point as was this three way feud.

Joe says he’s going to win and keep the title, which he misses. Goldberg comparisons are made. Don’t make me laugh.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Christopher Daniels

They make it clear that the undefeated streak isn’t on the line here. AJ and Daniels go for corners immediately but Joe is like “dudes we’re on PPV you know it’s not ending that fast.” Joe beats up AJ a bit so Daniels takes a chance at the belt. The challengers go high/low on Joe and go at it themselves. AJ sets for a dropkick but Daniels grabs the rope. AJ is like screw it and just does a standing backflip and then hits the dropkick. AWESOME.

AJ and Daniels go up but of course crash down after kicking each other a bit. Daniels goes to the floor so AJ pops Joe with some forearms including the springboard one, bringing a smile to my face. AJ gets sent to the floor and Joe wants to get a highlight reel moment, busting out a corkscrew plancha over the top to the floor to CRUSH both guys. Joe tries to go across but slips off with a little help from Daniels.

Back in the ring now with Daniels in control. Enziguri and a running knee take Joe to the floor so it’s down to the non-Samoans. AJ climbs with Daniels following so AJ gets a twisting sunset sitout powerbomb to take Daniels down. Joe goes off on both guys, possibly having been offered a box of doughnuts. Out to the floor and Joe puts Daniels in a chair to set up the Ole Kick but AJ dives in for the save instead of going for the belt.

We start the Joe’s Gonna Kill You (I prefer IDR) chants as he sets up the Musclebuster. Daniels and Joe slug it out in the middle with Tenay saying Joe is feeding off of this. Joe feeding on something. Film at eleven! Clutch in the corner doesn’t work for Joe as both guys combine to hit a double Musclebuster on Joe in a cool spot. Pele takes down Daniels which is a move I appreciate more every time I see it. The timing and placement on that has to be perfect.

AJ goes up as the fans are chanting for everyone not named Joe. Styles gets to the belt but Joe pops him in the back with a chair to save the title. In a pretty weak ending, Daniels hits Joe with the chair and casually climbs up to get the belt and end it. Just like that. No big drama spot or anything as Daniels just grabs the belt. He would lose the title in about a month back to Joe on Impact, making this virtually pointless. Joe freaks out as Daniels and AJ shake hands.

Rating: B. Good but certainly not great here. Watching these three together is never a bad thing though as they have incredible chemistry and it’s nice to see Daniels actually win something in this feud rather than having Joe and AJ dominate 100% of the time. The problem is that this was compared to the Unbreakable match which isn’t going to work ever, so take it for what it’s worth.

Christian talks about being tough but being the underdog no matter what he does. The fans chant his name and he talks about how Brown may have been a star football player but this isn’t the Serengeti but rather the Peep Zone. Christian says he’ll keep the title because that’s how he rolls.

We recap the feud which basically said that Jarrett guaranteed Brown the next title shot when Brown helped Jarrett beat Cage. The problem is Christian won but Brown got the title shot promised to him instead of Jarrett getting his rematch. It resulted in a monster vs. an average sized guy in Christian. In a bit that is rather stupid yet funny at the same time, Christian asked him what the capital of Thailand is. “Bangkok.” Say it with me: a low blow followed.

NWA World Title: Christian Cage vs. Monty Brown

Yeah still the NWA Title here which would last about another 14 months when Christian would be stripped of the title. Brown is a big old strong guy that uses a half spear/half shoulder block as a finisher. He’s a bit more known in WWE as Marcus Cor Von. Christian was certainly over in Orlando. Christian is the hometown boy so he’s by far and away the favorite. That and he’s a face.

Dueling chants begin and here we go. Christian has bad ribs because it’s illegal to be fully healthy against a monster challenger I guess. Christian grabs a headlock but Brown gets a shot to the ribs to break it up. They trade chops and Christian gets tossed to the floor. They brawl into the crowd where the people seem, shall we say, not very interested. Back to the ring and more slugging occurs.

And never mind as we’re right back to the floor. Christian tries to come back in off the top but gets caught by a punch to the ribs. This time they slug it out on the apron for a little variety before they go to the floor again. Into the ring again for more punching to the ribs of the champion. To say this is repetitive is like saying Austin likes to drink. Brown drapes him over the ropes and sends him into the post/buckle for two.

We hit the abdominal stretch which is a perfectly logical move. We’re over ten minutes into this match and I don’t think Christian has used anything other than punches or chops. Tornado DDT is reversed for two. Cage fires off some forearms before Brown hits him in the ribs to remind us that he knows how to do that. Down goes Monty but the frog splash misses for Christian and we hit another rib hold, this one on the mat.

To the corner now with Brown hammering on the ribs again. Christian knocks him off the top and drops a backsplash for two. Unprettier is blocked into an Alpha Bomb for two (big powerbomb). Unprettier is blocked into an F5 for two. Another Alpha Bomb is blocked into the Unprettier to end this. At least it’s over.

Rating: D+. Really dull match here as Brown was trying but Christian’s offense was so one dimensional for the first 12-14 minutes that it was putting me to sleep. Brown isn’t a guy capable of going 17 minutes without boring people to tears and that’s exactly what the case was here. Bad main event that needed to be about 5 minutes shorter to make it work in any fashion.

Christian starts to celebrate and cue Jarrett. We get an Edge reference and Jarrett wants his rematch RIGHT NOW. Christian mentions something about Jarrett retiring and flubs his lines. They talk over each other and Christian says he’ll beat him up but can’t give him a title shot. Brown pops up and it’s 2-1. Christian fights back with a double clothesline but Abyss comes out to make it 3-1.

Rhyno makes it 3-2 as you can see Lockdown being made right here. Team Canada and AMW with Shelley are here as Jarrett’s Army has about 8 people in it or so. The fans chant for Sting as Christian is cuffed and whipped with a belt. Sting (Steve Borden. Whatever) comes out of the crowd and beats up all eight or nine guys on his own. He literally only has to scream at Young to get rid of him.

Apparently this is over Jarrett stalking Sting’s (the announcers keep changing names too) family. Sting whips him with the belt and goes for the Scorpion, because when you think psychotic revenge, you think leg lock. Jarrett taps but Scott Steiner debuts to join Planet Jarrett and beat up Sting as the rest of Jarrett’s Army recovers at the exact same time of course. Everyone beats Sting up as Tenay overreacts beyond belief. The idiot fans chant for Goldberg. That’s hilarious. Steiner Recliner to Sting (for the love of tar PULL THE ARMS BACK YOU LAZY MICHIGAN STEROID FREAK!) and a guitar shot ends this.

Overall Rating: D. TNA in 2006 was a very mixed bag. What I mean by that is you had Team Jarrett that dominated the main event and a group of various faces fighting against him. It was ok but Jarrett wound up winning four world titles in like a year and a half out of it while everyone was bored out of his mind with him. Angle showed up in the fall but it’s not like it meant much. Anyway, weak PPV, WAY too much Jarrett/Sting stuff and nothing that hasn’t been done better elsewhere.

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We’ll wrap up the month with someone who is a bit odd. It’s Vampiro.

Vampiro vs. Koki Kitahara vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

This is a Scramble War, basically making it a round robin. In other words, it’s three straight singles matches with everyone getting to fight everyone. Vampiro starts with Koki and nails a quick spinebuster for two. Koki heads outside and gets taken down with an ugly looking flip dive off the top. Back in and Vampiro dives off the top and into the crowd, mostly missing Koki and hitting chairs. They go inside again with Vampiro hitting a top rope hurricanrana for two before walking into a release Rock Bottom. Koki almost drops him on a powerbomb attempt before hitting a Batista Bomb for the pin.

Next up is Bigelow vs. Koki with the name you’ve likely heard of sending Koki out to the floor. Back in and Koki grabs a chinlock to take Bigelow down. After a minute and a half in the hold, Bigelow fights up with a belly to back suplex but gets kicked in the ribs, followed by a DDT for two. Back to the chinlock but Bigelow suplexes out again and drops Koki with four straight clotheslines. A backsplash is enough to give Bam Bam the pin.

So now it’s Bigelow vs. Vampiro with Bam Bam hitting a quick powerslam for two. The top rope headbutt misses but Vampiro misses a guillotine legdrop. A sunset flip is countered by Bigelow sitting on Vampiro’s chest for two followed by the moonsault to give Bigelow his second pin of the match.

Rating: D+. This was pretty boring stuff with Bigelow being about two miles ahead of both other guys. I still don’t care for the Japanese no selling as Koki just stood there for three straight clotheslines and barely even staggered. Pop back up or something but don’t just get hit with it and yell. It looks stupid.

Vampiro would get his biggest American exposure in WCW in 1999/2000, but he would make an appearance on June 29, 1998’s Nitro as well.

El Vampiro vs. Brad Armstrong

Vampiro looks much different without his facepaint. Feeling out process to start with Armstrong taking him into the corner but Vampiro lands on his feet off a monkey flip. A clothesline puts Vampiro down but he comes back with a nice spinning kick to the jaw. Vampiro scores again with a spinwheel kick to the face and the Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) for the pin. Just a squash even though Vampiro wouldn’t be back until next March.

Vampiro would indeed come back in 1999 and become a bigger deal. He would feud with a variety of people, including Berlyn, who he met in a dog collar match at Mayhem 1999.

Vampiro vs. Berlyn

This is a collar match and Vampiro has Jerry Only of the band the Misfits with him. Berlyn is Alex Wright in something resembling a Neo-Nazi deal. It was rather weird to say the least. Dr. Death Steve Williams and Oklahoma, one of the creative writers making fun of JR. Immediately Berlyn hits the referee. Vampy kicks Berlyn and Wall hits Vampiro. A second referee comes down as Wall beats up Vampiro and Berlyn is on the floor.

Wall misses a big boot and gets crotched as Berlyn beats up Jerry Only. Oklahoma’s impression of JR is pretty good. I think the match has started now but I’m not sure. Oklahoma makes up a bunch of football stats for the three guys as Wall hits a HUGE chokeslam and is tied to Vampiro now. Berlyn yells at the Wall who takes the collar off.

I have no idea what the point of this is or if the bell ever rant in the first place. Oklahoma: “This Berlyn is tougher than Chinese algebra.” Wall walks out and Vampiro hits a release superplex. Only (not a wrestler) comes in for the double team and The Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) sets up a camel clutch with the chain for the pin.

Rating: N/A. The bell never rang so I don’t think this was an actual match. As for the match, I have no idea why it’s on the card as Vampy and Berlyn were ever chained together at any time. It wasn’t a good match or anything either as Wall was the one out there doing most of the work while a singer that most people probably didn’t know was beaten up. I don’t get the point of this at all.

Next up was a feud with Oklahoma (Ed Ferrara in an insulting Jim Ross impersonation) and Oklahoma’s muscle Steve Williams, to be settled at Starrcade 1999.

Vampiro vs. Steve Williams

The Misfits are Vampiro’s friends and Williams is Oklahoma’s heavy. Oklahoma is designed to do one thing and one thing only: make fun of Jim Ross. Vampiro gets five minutes against Oklahoma is he wins, but since Oklahoma has a mic on we have to hear him talk during the match. Vampiro climbs on top of the cage to start and dives down onto Williams before whipping him into the barricade. A kick to the face staggers Doc and we head inside for the first time.

Vampiro pounds on Williams as this is already going nowhere, much like the majority of the card tonight. Doc fires back with some chops, causing Oklahoma to shout CHOP CHOP CHOP because that’s FUNNY you see. Williams hits some shoulder blocks but misses a splash in the corner. A suplex puts Williams down but as Vampiro goes up, Doc pops up with a superplex, nearly breaking Vampiro’s neck in the process. That’s enough for the wrestling so here are the Misfits to distract Williams. Vampiro kicks Doc down but a second kick is caught in a suplex. Williams pounds away until he shoves the referee for the lame DQ.

Rating: D. So to be clear, Vampiro was supposed to be a big deal in WCW around this time, so let’s have him get destroyed by someone who hasn’t been around in years for the sake of pushing a feud to make fun of someone who isn’t even in this company anymore. Did I mention that 1999 was a really stupid year for WCW?

The five minute clock immediately starts despite Oklahoma being in the cage still.

Vampiro vs. Oklahoma

To further the stupidity, Williams beats Vampiro up for about two more minutes while Oklahoma spouts off stupid jokes from inside the cage. Oklahoma finally gets out and drops Vampiro again with a DDT before stomping away in the corner. Vampiro gets up so Oklahoma runs, only to have the Misfits throw him back in. After a few low blows from Oklahoma (yeah the announcer is hanging in there with a wrestler. Why are you surprised?), Vampiro hits a Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) for the pin. They weren’t even “fighting” for a minute.

Vampiro would feud with Billy Kidman next…..and I have no idea why. Here’s my explanation for the match at SuperBrawl 2000.

Recap of Kidman vs. Vampiro which is over respect or something but Vampy could never beat him. Ok so yes he could and this is the rubber match or something. It’s nice to see just a basic feud though. The Wall is involved somehow also. The package keeps going and I have no idea what they’re fighting over after about a minute of it. I think they’re friends but I have no idea for the most part. It’s WCW so were you really expecting a coherent storyline?

Billy Kidman vs. Vampiro

We start with some decent technical stuff until Kidman gets a rana to send Vampiro to the floor. Back in the ring Vampy gets a suplex off the top for two. Kidman is dropkicked into Torrie and now Billy is all fired up. Vampiro takes over the heel role here as Madden reaches a new low in bad jokes: “If Torries helps Kidman beat Vampiro is she Torrie the Vampiro Slayer?”

Back inside now and Vampy is in control with some suplexes. Kidman grabs a Sky High for two. Fameasser gets two for Vampiro. Madden says in a year this will be for the US Title and in two years for the world title. Oh that wacky Mark. Vampiro hits a double powerbomb with the second being a release version. They go up top and Kidman hits a reverse tornado DDT off the middle rope for the pin. That came out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and it’s one of the better matches of the night, primarily due to it actually getting some time. Vampiro was supposed to be heel but the fans liked him so WCW totally ignored that because they knew what the fans wanted more than the fans so they made him more and more evil until the fans gave up and the bookers got what they wanted.

We now hit the real feud for Vampiro as he went after Sting. You know, because they’re both freaky and supernatural and stuff and that’s enough for a Wrestlemania main event right? Here’s their biggest match from Great American Bash 2000. It’s a Human Torch match, and I think that’s all the description you need.

Vampiro vs. Sting

There’s a torch up by the video screen that you have to climb a ladder to get to. This isn’t going to end well is it? Vampiro lights the torch and has a gas can near it. There’s an ambulance and firefighters here for this. Russo must be loving this. Sting pulls the torch up above the screen as I mentioned before. Sting wants to know if Vampiro is afraid of heights because if Vampy wants Sting he has to come up here.

Vampiro yells a lot and we stand around a lot. Sting repels down and it’s time for the actual match to start. They fight in the ring as I have a feeling this is going to end badly. Spinwheel kick takes Sting down so Sting comes back even faster with a powerslam and a bunch of clotheslines. Stinger splash misses in the corner so Vampiro pours gasoline on Sting.

As always, in a huge arena, the announcers can smell the fuel many feet away. They fight up the ramp and climb up the structure with Sting getting kicked off. The announcers say that’s it so Vampiro keeps climbing. Sting climbs up anyway and there go the lights as we attempt to conceal the obvious switch that is coming up. They “fight” on top of the screen and even with the camera where it is you can barely see anything.

And them Vampy grabs the torch and lights Sting on fire. Sting dives off the screen to a crash pad and Vampiro wins. He must have really been burned badly because between falling down up there and the jump he lost about 3 inches of hair and shrunk a good 4 inches. That’s some powerful fire.

Rating: N/A. Yeah this wasn’t wrestling. This is one of those matches that is so stupid it defies logic. This is what I recommend doing in this situation: picture the booker/writer pitching this idea to say Jack Brisco, Lou Thesz and Harley Race. If the reaction is either a blank stare, massive amounts of angry cursing or a right cross, IT’S NOT A GOOD FREAKING IDEA!

Since it’s WCW, Vampiro would somehow hook up with Great Muta in the latter part of the year as part of the Dark Carnival stable. At New Blood Rising, they would receive a Tag Team Title shot in Muta’s second match of the night and the second Tag Team Title match of the night, with the first being a four team tag match with three or four guest referees.

Tag Titles: Kronik vs. Dark Carnival

You know there’s going to be a screwjob. You just know it. Tony points out that this wasn’t promoted or anything, thereby showing how freaking stupid this was. Also Kronik looks stupid by putting the belts up here and knowing that there’s a title match the next night on Nitro. What was the appeal of Vampiro? I liked him when I was 12 but now I just don’t get it.

Muta stands in the middle of the apron for a bit for no apparent reason. The challengers kick a lot. Yeah I’m stunned too. Muta’s handspring elbow gets caught in a full nelson slam. Tony is just picking the thinking of this show apart by just doing basic commentary. Madden makes pot jokes as I wonder what the point was to having then do a weird kind of stoner thing.

Vampiro gets cheered and he tries to calm them down, making them cheer more. Crowd is fairly dead here. Clark gets the lukewarm tag and hits the Meltdown on Vampiro. There’s the mist to the referee of course and let’s cue the run-in. Muta almost take High Time….and it’s the Harris Brothers. Oh this doesn’t go well. They hit their move on Clark and a moonsault ends it. They would lose to the Filthy Animals the next night.

Rating: F+. Somehow this was a breath of fresh air for the show. They actually had about 8 minutes of horrible wrestling before the screwjob ending. The match being awful as an upgrade is a sign that sums up this entire show and era. Let’s just get to the end of this.

We’ll wrap up WCW with Halloween Havoc 2000 in another match with no real story behind it.

Vampiro vs. Mike Awesome

It’s That 70s Guy here which is yet another instance where WCW blows what could have been someone special. This is Vampiro’s last match with WCW so who do you think wins it? Vampiro has been extra evil or something lately and hates Awesome just because. Awesome has some title shot coming and Vampiro wants it on the line. Awesome, having nothing to gain, says sure.

Big plancha to the floor by Mike to half kill Vampiro. Dang he was great back in the day. Naturally since he was young and good he was made into a comedy character. We head into the crowd now and it’s all Awesome. A fan jumps Awesome and he’s in trouble people that need to drink to get through a show this bad.

Vampiro grabs a chair for both guys and we have a duel. Just wasting time now as not a lot is going on. Vampiro goes for a top rope belly to belly but he more or less just drops Awesome, letting him fly through the air and do all of the work, making it look bad. Awesome busts out a table which makes this at least the second match with them in it. Since they were used earlier, not a lot of people care here.

Stevie wants to know why this is legal and gets no answer. Stevie freaking Ray is the voice of reason on this show. The same Stevie Ray that had a segment called Suckas Gots To Know. Anyway Vampiro hits his finisher and looks for more weapons because he’s an idiot. Madden gets a Ghostbusters line in to make this a bit easier. Sitout Awesome Bomb on the floor as this is now falls count anywhere I guess.

Back in the ring as Vampiro takes an Awesome Bomb from the top rope for the academic pin. In other words the table means absolutely nothing as it wasn’t used at all. And of course we have a solid enough match like that and we get That 70s Guy music and go to General Rection. Nothing wrong with that is there?

Rating: C-. Not bad here and very physical. Awesome would change gimmicks eventually and get back to just being a tough guy but it was too late. Vampiro is a guy I never got at all and to this day I still don’t. This was ok though as Awesome just beat the crap out of him. The rules made no sense but that’s WCW for you.

Vampiro would head to the mess that was the XWF and have a match on November 13, 2001.

Vampiro vs. Curt Hennig

Hennig has an agent by the name of Bobby Heenan, who does Curt’s entrance as only he could. Vampiro hits a quick kick to the chest to start and follows Hennig into the corner with a clothesline. Heenan talks to his client on the floor and it’s Curt coming back with knee lifts and chops in the ring. The neck snap keeps Vampiro in trouble but he comes back with a belly to back suplex and a top rope spinwheel kick for two. Heenan loads up a foreign object but Piper is out maybe half a second later to take it away and blast Hennig. The Nail in the Coffin ends Hennig in less than three minutes.

Vampiro would bounce around the indies for several years before popping up as one of the bigger names in Wrestling Society X. He would face 6-Pac on the second episode for the WSX Title.

WSX Title: Vampiro vs. 6-Pac

There’s a casket at ringside for no apparent reason. Feeling out process to start until Vampiro kicks him down for two. Pac comes back with a sitout powerbomb and a Bronco Buster but the second attempt is caught by choking. A chokeslam sets up a corkscrew dive from Vampiro but he only hits mat. Pac sends him outside for a big flip dive but gets crotched against the post to put him back down.

We get our first table less than three and a half minutes into the match and a tornado DDT drives Vampiro through the wood. Apparently this is falls count anywhere but Pac takes him back inside for an X Factor and two. Pac loads up another X Factor onto the coffin but Vampiro counters into a tombstone into the coffin….which explodes, giving Vampiro the pin.

Rating: D. The coffin exploded. I think that sums up my thoughts on the match pretty well. The wrestling wasn’t horrible but there wasn’t enough of it to make a good match. This was your usual EXTREME stuff with needless tables and a stupid ending, but that was kind of the point of this organization. Are you surprised it lasted ten episodes?

After several years wrestling in Italy, Vampiro would come back to Mexico to wrestle at AAA’s TripleMania XVIII.

Cibernetico/Abyss vs. El Zorro/Vampiro

Cibernetico is one of the top faces in the company (or was at this point). Abyss and Vampiro I think you know. El Zorro is a heel and part of the Foreign Legion and after this show would win the world title. This is a hardcore match. Despite being a foreigner Abyss isn’t part of the Foreign Legion for some reason.

Cibernetico’s entrance is in a word, epic. I think he’s supposed to be a cyborg or something. He’s clearly one of the most popular people in the company. This is that odd kind of hardcore where you have to tag in and out. Yeah I know just go with it. Cibernetico and Zorro start us off.

Cibernetico’s tights say Main Man. At least there isn’t a target saying “goes here” underneath it. The partners just come in for no apparent reason with Abyss going off on Vampiro. This is during Abyss-A-Mania but it doesn’t seem to be that bad at this point. Zorro has a kendo stick as the announcers argue some more. Zorro beats on Cibernetico with a chair in the ring while the other guys are out on the floor.

Vampiro sets up a table but can’t get a moonsault through it. Abyss can’t get his powerbomb through it either so it all evens out. Cibernetico hits the floor and now it’s turning into a regular hardcore match. Vampiro and Konnan point at each other for some reason but the wasted time lets Abyss get his hands on Vampiro. Abyss is thrown at the table which collapses but doesn’t break.

Konnan gets in Vampiro’s face again for no apparent reason. Everyone but Abyss is in the ring now and it’s a 2-1 beatdown. I’m not sure what the deal is with two referees. Maybe Gorilla Monsoon is secretly commissioner here or something. Cibernetico dumps Vampiro (to be with Abyss I guess) but has a kendo stick tossed into his leg.

Abyss is back in now but can’t get a double chokeslam. He settles for a double clothesline instead and down goes the Foreign Legion. Abyss……moves……very……very……slowly. The Foreign Legion hits the ring, in the form of Christopher Daniels, Kozlov, Chessman, Nosawa (Japanese guy) and Hernandez. Cibernetico is like screw that and beats them up on his own.

Zorro takes him down and hammers away with the kendo stick. Cue Abyss who hits Shock Treatment and Zorro is more or less dead. Hernandez misses a chair shot and hits Vampiro by mistake. Konnan grabs Vampiro and throws powder in his face. A chokeslam from Cibernetico ends this.

Rating: C+. Not bad here. They got rid of the tagging after about a second and things got a lot better. Decent little match here and the Foreign Legion losing is a good thing for a change tonight. Cibernetico is a guy that it’s easy to get behind so I can see why he’s one of the most popular there. Decent match all around but a bit rushed.

One final match, from the alleged wrestling organization run by the Insane Clown Posse. From Bloodymania V.

JCW World Title: Corporal Robinson vs. Vampiro

Robinson is defending if that wasn’t clear. They shake hands to start and finally lock up. Before anything can get going, here’s Evil Dead for no apparent reason. He gets in the ring and drills the referee as the other two guys get in each others’ faces. Evil Dead DDTs both guys and leaves. This is happening…..why exactly?

Robinson and Vampiro slug it out from their knees which takes a good while. Robinson shoulders him down but gets kicked in the face a second later to give Vampiro control again. Robinson comes back again and tries his finisher called Boot Camp (cobra clutch legsweep) but Vampiro escapes. A neckbreaker gets two for the champion as does a superkick from Vampiro. Vampiro’s chokeslam is broken up and apparently it’s almost 5:00am. Good grief.

A tornado DDT gets two for Robinson as they’re in the problem most indy matches have: they have no idea how to tell a story in the ring and it’s just a string of moves with nothing between them. Vampiro flips off the fans to go heel I guess, and walks into a dragon screw leg whip for his efforts. Robinson puts on a quick leglock but Vamp gets to a rope. The Corporal brings in a chair but Vampiro kicks his knee out just in time.

Vampiro loads up something off the top but gets pulled down into a Tree of Woe. We get the Tommy Dreamer running dropkick into the chair into the guy in the Tree of Woe’s face for two. Vampiro comes back with a kind of Van Daminator and Robinson is busted open. It’s table time now because what would a main event be without one of those? Off to a chinlock by Vampiro so he can bite the cut a bit.

The table is set up in the corner and Vampiro goes after the cut on Robinson’s head. Robinson is sent face first into the chair but Vampiro walks around too much and gets suplexed down for two. Robinson goes up but misses a legdrop to bring things to a halt again. Chokeslam from Vampiro gets two, followed by a Robinson powerbomb and Boot Camp for the pin to retain. The table was never used.

Rating: C-. This went WAY too long which brings it down a bit. Somehow this match was almost twenty minutes long and about four minutes of that was spent on laying around. I have no idea what the point of Evil Dead was but it came and went and didn’t change anything. Not a terrible match or anything and it was fine for a main event on a show of this caliber.

Vampiro is a guy that has wrestled around the world and I liked him as a kid, but now I really don’t see him as anything special. He wrestles the indy style which I can’t stand and could have been replaced by any of a few dozen other wrestlers. There are far worse guys out there, but he’s just nothing I care to watch most of the time.

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Today we’re heading north to Canada for Earthquake.

John Tenta/Jumbo Tsuruta vs. Road Warriors

Animal press slams Jumbo about three second after the bell but Tsuruta comes back with a lariat before the fight heads outside. Back in and the Road Warriors take over with Hawk hammering away. Tenta comes in off the tag and Hawk can’t knock him around, so we get a big fat man slam instead.

Hawk dives into a bearhug followed by a belly to belly for two. A double clothesline puts both guys down and Hawk brings in Animal, only to have him get double teamed. Tsuruta puts on a leg lock but it’s quickly back to Hawk for a leg lock on Jumbo. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Animal for a powerslam on Tenta, followed by a Rocket Launcher to give Hawk the pin.

Rating: D+. For a rookie, Tenta didn’t do half bad out there. The match wasn’t anything to see unless you’re interested in seeing the Natural Disasters vs. LOD with a much more talented guy subbing in for Typhoon. Granted that wouldn’t be too hard to do. All the leg locks were weird to see if nothing else.

Earthquake would go to the WWF soon after this and start literally squashing everyone in his path. One of his first pay per view matches was at Wrestlemania VI.

Hercules vs. Earthquake

Earthquake misses a charge into the corner to start and Hercules pounds away on him. The big man heads to the floor before coming back in for a test of strength. Hercules goes down almost immediately and Earthquake is in control. The non-disaster comes back with some clotheslines but for reasons of general stupidity, Hercules tries a torture rack which goes as well as you would expect on someone who weighs 468. Two Earthquakes end Hercules.

Rating: D. Quick and easy here as Earthquake was clearly being built up as a huge monster for either Hogan or Warrior. He could certainly move very quickly for a guy his size and he had the talking ability to back it up. Earthquake is often forgotten as a quality monster which is a shame because the guy was pretty awesome.

Later in the month, Earthquake would face fan favorite Hillbilly Jim at Saturday Night’s Main Event XXVI.

Hillbilly Jim vs. Earthquake

First of all, let it be known that Jim’s music is freaking amazing on all levels. Jim wasn’t much in the ring, but he wasn’t supposed to be. He was a gimmick character that worked as well as any ever has. Can you think of a single time that he didn’t get a pop and a half? He was just so ridiculously over because of nothing more than the clapping thing he would do.

Like I’ve said before, he found something that worked and he ran with it. I would almost guarantee that if he came back today as a guest host, he would get the roof blown off almost any arena in the country. The key thing to him was that he was never taken seriously. He wasn’t shoved down our throats as a major player ever and because of that we never got sick of him.

Look at Eugene. He was originally an awesome character that a lot of people marked out for. Then they put him in an 18 minute match with HHH at Summerslam, and to the shock of no one, he got booed out of the building. The point is, keep the comedy characters in the right place.

As for the match, it’s a 90 second squash as Hart distracts Hillbilly and Quake hits a corner splash and two earthquakes to end this. That’s how it should have been. As usual, Quake’s opponent is taken out on a stretcher. That more or less was his gimmick which was fine.

Rating: N/A. It’s far too short to grade, but it did its job so this would have been a positive rating.

Earthquake’s biggest feud would be against Hulk Hogan, as he injured Hogan so badly that Hogan thought he was an intergalactic bounty hunter named Shep Ramsay stranded on Earth with Christopher Lloyd and Shelly Duvall (and the actress that would play Peggy on Mad Men). Their first showdown and Hogan’s return match was at Summerslam 1990.

Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake

This is Hogan’s big return after being gone all summer due to an attack by Earthquake which broke his ribs. They lock up but Hogan can’t shove the big man around. Now Quake shoves him down a few times as Jimmy is losing his mind. Quake shoulders him out to the floor and Hogan takes a breather with Bossman. Back in and Hogan tries pounding away but Quake sends him into the corner to take him back down. Hogan gets a boot up in the corner and nails some clotheslines but Quake won’t go down.

After knocking Bravo and Hart off the apron, Hogan finally drops Earthquake with the big windup punch. All four guys get inside and the heels both take big boots to the face. The referee puts Bossman out though, allowing Bravo and Quake to hit a double slam on Hogan. A big elbow drop keeps Hogan down and a top rope forearm (from the 468lb Earthquake) to the back has Hogan down again. Off to a Boston Crab but Hogan tries to push his way out. That doesn’t work so Hogan looks to his left and realizes he’s about four inches from the rope for the break.

Bravo gets in some cheap shots on the floor but Earthquake misses an elbow drop back inside. Hogan finally gets to his feet (sidenote: Roddy Piper should not be allowed to cheer for Hogan. Ever.) but falls back down on a slam attempt. Off to a bearhug by Earthquake as the match slows down. Hulk punches out of it and tries a cross body like a schnook, earning the powerslam he gets as a result. Earthquake drops a pair of Earthquake splashes (seated sentons) but Hogan gets up at two to shock the crowd.

It’s Hulk Up time and there’s the slam but Dino distracts the referee after the legdrop. Jimmy comes in but gets tossed at Earthquake, sending everyone to the floor. Hart accidentally hits Quake with the Megaphone and Hogan slams the big man onto a table (it’s in Philadelphia after all)….for a countout? For the life of me I have no idea why Hogan didn’t get a pin here. I guess they wanted to save that for house shows, but it’s not like people wouldn’t want to see Hogan do it again live.

Rating: B-. The match itself was nothing of note but this is exactly what the fans wanted to see other than Hogan getting a pin. These two feuded on the house show circuit for the next four months or so, which really is amazing when you consider how basic the angle was that set it up. This falls into the fun category which is fine for a show like this.

Post match Quake chokes Hogan until Bossman blasts him in the back with a STEPLADDER. Quake finally drops him and looks at Bossman so the cop pulls out the nightstick to chase them off. Lots of posing ensues as you can see the house show rematches with any combination of these four guys being made up.)

They would keep it going at Survivor Series 1990.

Natural Disasters vs. Hulkamaniacs

Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Haku, Barbarian
Hulk Hogan, Big Bossman, Tugboat, Jim Duggan

There’s some actual drama here as Hogan had never beaten Earthquake before this and the other guys balance out somewhat well. Haku vs. Duggan start us off as the announcers talk about the Grand Finale. It’s such a different time when they automatically know who is going to be on what side. Today you would be waiting on the swerve. Duggan pounds away on Haku and a clothesline gets two.

Bravo and Barbarian come in to get some shots but it’s quickly off to Boss Man vs. Haku. Haku dropkicks him down for two but the Boss Man Slam puts Haku out quick. Barbarian comes in next and Boss Man runs him over. Heenan gets taken off the apron and Boss Man punches Barbarian a bit before walking into a suplex. Barbie misses a middle rope elbow and it’s off to Duggan vs. Bravo. Scratch that as Earthquake makes a blind tag and crushes Duggan in the corner. Duggan keeps trying to knock Quake down but Jimmy low bridges him. Duggan brings the board in with him and hits Quake for the DQ.

It’s Hogan vs. Earthquake but Hulk beats up all three guys because he can. Hogan easily slams Earthquake and fires off ten punches in the corner. Quake comes back with a powerslam and tags in Bravo who stomps away before getting small packaged for the pin. There’s the tag to Boss Man who hits his rapid fire punches in the corner. Boss Man goes up for a cross body and oh my goodness Earthquake caught him. That is SCARY. Hogan shoves Boss Man on top of him for two but Barbarian kicks Boss Man in the back to put him down. An elbow from Earthquake eliminates Boss Man.

Hogan vs. Quake again and Hulk tries to drop the big guy. Hulk tries another slam but can’t get Quake up. The third attempt results in Quake falling on Hogan for two. Hulk avoids an elbow and there’s the tag to Tugboat, causing everyone to shout TOOOOT which sounds like booing. Hogan pulls Earthquake to the floor and Quake and Tugboat get counted out. That leaves Hogan vs. Barbarian and the only thing I can think to say is “really?” Barbarian goes after Hogan on the floor and doesn’t hit a piledriver well at all. It gets two and they clothesline each other. Barbarian hits the top rope clothesline, Hulk Up, legdrop, done.

Rating: C-. This was a lot more fast paced and energetic than you would expect. The continued practice of just teasing the encounter that the match is based on is getting REALLY old though as I guess they want to preserve the house show draws, because who would want to see a feud continue after a single match right? My goodness have things changed in the last twenty years.

And one more time on the Main Event V.

Hulk Hogan/Tugboat vs. Dino Bravo/Earthquake

Hogan gets a very solid pop and is the only one of the four to get a reaction at all. According to Vince, Quake and Bravo weigh about 1,300 pounds between them. Think Vince is a bit shaky here for some reason? That’s not rhetorical actually as he’s normally more composed than this. Hogan cleans house on Bravo to start. Bravo and Tugboat are in now and this isn’t going to be pretty.

Bravo actually gets an atomic drop and a very good one all things considered. Hogan vs. Quake now, which is a somewhat big feud still at this point. The slam hits on the first try which is something different for the bald one. Quake gets a nice jump kick that looked pretty good for a man his size. The boating enthusiast gets beaten down as we wait on Hogan to get the tag.

Megaphone to the head ends any momentum he had and we take a break. Warrior is still the symbol on the graphic despite having lost the title and not even being on the card here. The referee misses the tag after the break and Tugboat takes a double slam. Hogan blocks the flying fat drop and we get the hot tag finally. Oddly enough Hogan hits the boot on Bravo and rolls him up for the pin instead of the standard finish.

Rating: D+. Totally standard house show main event here. This wasn’t supposed to be anything epic at all and it definitely wasn’t. These shows were designed to get the top feuds on TV and on occasions like this one, ending the feuds once and for all since Hogan had nothing else to do with any of these guys after this. Nothing great at all but fine for what it was.

Since Hogan had thrashed him all over the place for six months, Earthquake switched over to someone he could actually beat at Wrestlemania VII.

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine turned face a few months ago and this is his big match for the forces of good. We’re 20 seconds in and Valentine is getting powerslammed down for two. A splash misses in the corner and Valentine gets him down to one knee. Quake breaks the Figure Four twice, hits a big elbow and drops the Earthquake for the pin.

Rating: F+. Earthquake was pretty much done as a singles guy at this point but I’m assuming he got some shots at Hogan on house shows over the summer. Other than that though this was a filler match that didn’t need to be on the card at all. Nothing to see here but at least Quake looked dominant.

After this it was time for the most successful period for Earthquake (as far as titles went at least) as he teamed up with Typhoon (the former Tugboat) as the Natural Disasters. One of their first major matches was at Summerslam 1991.

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Andre looks terrible here and would be dead in less than 18 months. The Whackers sneak up on the big men on the floor and poke them in the eyes. We finally start with Butch vs. Typhoon and the big man being bitten on the trunks. Earthquake tries to come in but splashes his own partner by mistake. A double clothesline puts Quake down and the Bushwhackers are in full control.

Earthquake finally realizes he weighs more than both Bushwhackers put together and pounds Butch down with a few shots to the back. Heenan makes an obscure Newhart reference as Quake slams Butch into the corner but misses an elbow drop to the back. The second attempt connects though and it’s off to Typhoon for more fat man offense.

Off to an over the shoulder backbreaker on Butch which transitions into a bearhug by Earthquake. Heenan leaves to go find Hogan and embarrass him which we’ll get to later. Quake finally hits Typhoon with a clothesline by mistake as everything breaks down. The Bushwhackers hit Battering Rams on both Disasters but it’s finally the big men crushing Luke and the Earthquake for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was a waste of time and everyone knew it was going to be from the moment the bell rang. The Bushwhackers were the epitome of comedy bumpkins and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not sure why they picked them of all teams for Andre to back and the match was horrible.

Here’s a Wrestling Challenge match from some point in 1991. It’s before November at least.

Natural Disasters vs. The Rockers

The Rockers are less than two months away from splitting here, meaning they’re about at their peak as a team. Shawn vs. Typhoon to get things going with the small guy not having any effect at all. Off to Marty vs. Earthquake for a change of pace as the big man crushes him in the corner. The powerslam looks to set up the Earthquake Splash but Shawn makes a last second save.

Typhoon comes in but can’t catch up to Marty, allowing Shawn to come in with a slingshot kick to the chest. Jannetty dives off Typhoon but gets caught in mid air by Earthquake. Shawn makes a save but Marty dropkicks Earthquake’s back, crushing him into Shawn to crush him in the corner. Marty goes after Jimmy Hart, allowing the big Typhoon Splash to crush Shawn for the pin.

Rating: D+. More storytelling than anything else here and that’s fine. The Rockers were in way over their heads here given the size and power of the Disasters and they were headed for a split anyway. This was just a Wrestling Challenge main event so you can’t really expect much out of it anyway.

The team eventually turned face and got a Tag Team Title shot on July 20, 1992.

Tag Titles: Money Inc. vs. Natural Disasters

Don’t you see the connection here? This would be before Mania as Jimmy is with DiBiase and IRS here, despite being with Hogan and Beefcake earlier. Yeah that’s not confusing at all. Irwin’s promo implies this is after April 15 but that wouldn’t add up at all so maybe that’s an error. The champions, Money Inc, tries to leave before the match starts but that gets nowhere. Typhoon and DiBiase start us off.

Everyone goes in there at once and the fat guys do nothing but corner splashes for about two minutes. They follow this up with a BIG splash, just to add some variety. They try it again and Quake misses and hits the floor. No earthquake from it but whatever. DiBiase chokes him with a rope from somewhere. Nothing of note going on here as it’s mainly just punches and kicks.

LONG beatdown segment on Earthquake as the heels do their evil deeds. Crowd is relatively dead here until Quake hits a hiptoss and STILL doesn’t make the tag. We get a comparison of Earthquake to Undertaker which is a matchup that could have been interesting if the timing had been right. Quake was getting to the point of not mattering when Taker arrived.

Tag by Quake doesn’t count since the referee didn’t see it. Double clothesline by Quake as Hart is described as a monkey on helium. Hot tag to Typhoon and the crowd wakes up a little bit. Everything breaks down and the referee tries to get Hart out of the ring. IRS blasts DiBiase in the face with the briefcase and Earthquake drops an elbow….FOR THE PIN? This actually looks like the title change and with nothing else happening…yeah that was a title change.

Rating: D+. Boring match but the crowd popped for the title change, I think due to shock more than anything else. This was their only title reign as they would lose the belts back to Money Inc in about three months. The match was pretty bad but a title change back then was always a good thing. This was a house show mind you, so it’s not like this was well known or anything, making it an actual rarity.

And now a title defense from Summerslam 1992.

Tag Titles: Natural Disasters vs. Beverly Brothers

The Brothers are managed by the Genius and are challenging here. Genius messes up his poem by getting some dates wrong but the fans are already cheering for the fat champions anyway. The challengers try to jump the big guys early on but the champions take their heads off with clotheslines. Both Brothers (Beau and Blake) are crushed in a fat man sandwich, leaving us with Typhoon to start against Blake.

Typhoon pounds away on the smaller man but Blake manages to lift him up for a slam. He can’t turn it over but it was a nice try at least. Everything breaks down for a few seconds until we’re back to more Disaster dominance. Quake accidentally splashes Typhoon in the corner and the ocean themed guy is down. The Brothers double team Typhoon with a splash but he launches Beau to the floor on the kickout.

Hang on a second: Shawn Michaels has left Wembley Stadium!

Back to the match with Blake hitting a middle rope headbutt for a delayed two. Beau holds Typhoon on the ropes so Blake can jump on his back in a move later used by Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. The Brothers take turns pounding on Typhoon and draw Earthquake in, allowing them to double team Typhoon even more. A headbutt gets two for Blake and it’s off to a front facelock.

Typhoon finally makes a tag but the referee doesn’t see it, likely due to being bored by the match so far. Beau drops an ax handle onto Typhoon’s back but the big man FINALLY clotheslines both Beverlies down but stops to slam Beau instead of tagging out. Blake dropkicks his brother into a cross body on Typhoon for two and Quake has had enough. His save attempt is broken up by Genius’ metal scroll to Typhoon’s back as this match just keeps going. Quake breaks up he cover and gets the hot tag to clean house. A powerslam and the Earthquake are enough to retain the titles.

Rating: D. This just wouldn’t stop as the Brothers got WAY too much offense in here. The problem is the same as it was last year: there was no doubt as to who was walking out with the belts and that makes for a rather boring match. Also, the Beverlies are pretty average size guys so there’s only so much they can do against people like the Disasters.

One more WWF singles match after the team broke up. From November 24, 1992.

Repo Man vs. Earthquake

Uh…sure. I wonder why this was considered a good match. Maybe it wasn’t I don’t know. Going from Smash to Repo Man is one of the best character changes ever. I was STUNNED when I found out they were the same person. This is mostly Quake of course. Crowd is bored to put it nicely.

Earthquake was an interesting case as he went from evil monster that put Hogan on the shelf for the better part of the summer but once he turned on Jimmy Hart he was awesome. The fans always seemed like they wanted to cheer him but weren’t sure if that was ok or not. They do here though and the Earthquake finishes Repo. Short but harmless I guess.

Rating: D+. I said it was harmless but I didn’t say it was any good. One thing that does have to be considered with these is that they’re just dark matches or house show matches thrown on a tape with no real tying theme. For a match just thrown on a card before a TV taping or something like that, this would have been fine I guess. It’s far from good, but it would have been ok for a quick 5-6 minute match to entertain an audience.

After leaving the WWF it was back to Japan, including this match on December 15, 1993 in the WAR promotion.

John Tenta vs. Warlord

A lockup doesn’t get either guy anywhere and neither does a Warlord headlock. Shoulder blocks have no effect either so Earthquake jumps up and down a bit. Warlord slams him down to a BIG pop and even the ring announcer says something. Now the shoulder block works, but Earthquake one ups him with a dropkick. This is a really slow match for the most part. An elbow drop gets two on Warlord but he actually suplexes Earthquake down in a very impressive display of strength.

Earthquake heads to the floor where he drives Warlord into the post. Warlord avoids a charge up against the post but it doesn’t seem to hurt the bigger guy all that much. Instead Earthquake comes back with some splashes in the corner and a powerslam followed by the Earthquake Splash….for two?

The fans are into Warlord now but it’s off to a bearhug to slow him down. Warlord fights out with right hands and takes Quake down with a big shoulder. A nice belly to back drops Earthquake but he’s too fat to slam. Earthquake gets two off a legdrop before getting the pin off a running clothesline and covering the shoulders with all of his weight.

Rating: C-. This was getting going but the ending really felt like a screeching halt. It’s so strange to see the Warlord getting face reactions after so many years as a heel in the WWF. Earthquake was the kind of guy that could make a crowd care about his really basic offense and he showed it here really well.

It was off to WCW about a year later where Earthquake would be called Avalanche because that was what WCW thought was legal. He would be put into a feud with Hulk N Pals (shocking I know), including this match at Clash of the Champions XXX.

Sting vs. Avalanche

It’s a Starrcade rematch and Guardian Angel is guest referee. Avalanche jumps him to start but is quickly dropkicked to the floor and onto some chairs. Tony and Bobby notice that Flair is suddenly nowhere to be seen though his girls are still there. Back in and Avalanche runs him over before just standing on Sting’s chest.

A big elbow has Sting in trouble but Avalanche stops to pose. He takes Sting into the corner and rams the 450lb+ into Sting’s chest. The powerslam gets two but Sting accidentally headbutts Avalanche low to come back. Three straight Stinger Splashes rock the big man and there’s a fourth, setting up a slam and the Scorpion Deathlock. Guardian Angel gets down to check for the submission but referee Nick Patrick runs out to call it instead.

Rating: D+. Sting throwing around big men is always cool to see, but Avalanche is rapidly turning into a joke. Yeah he can hit some nice power moves but he’s lost every match on the Clash so far. He’s just a big guy that doesn’t win anything and that makes it hard to get into his matches.

After that whole gimmick became a mess (and Avalanche became a Shark), he would finally get sick of it and just become John Tenta, who would face Big Bubba Rogers at Great American Bash 1996.

Big Bubba vs. John Tenta

Oh dear. This is over the Dungeon of Doom, who was one of the worst big stables ever, cutting half of Tenta’s hair and goatee. Tenta was supposed to be a big face or something I guess but of course nothing ever came of it. These two have the exact same style so this isn’t going to work. Non American object gets Bubba in control. Soon thereafter, I see some interesting looking paint on the wall and I lose my focus. Thank`fully this is about five and a half minutes and ends with Tenta slamming Bubba. Afterwards he cuts off Bubba’s beard.

Rating: D. Again, there’s no point to this match. It’s just two guys beating on each other and no one cares at all. Tenta never did a thing in WCW and would be gone very soon to be Golga in the Oddities in WWF. Bubba would turn face after the NWO beat on him. Seriously, why was this on pay per view?

No real story to this one, but it was against a big name on Nitro from September 9, 1996.

John Tenta vs. Randy Savage

Tenta’s music would become Jericho’s in about two years. Savage hits the ring and is stomped down by Tenta quickly. Eric has to say that Meng works for WCW and not WWF as Haku to avoid legal issues. That’s how messed up things were back then. Savage pops Tenta with a chair and that’s cool too. There’s the elbow and a second one as Teddy Long comes out, saying they’re in the back. Savage runs off to huge booing and is counted out also. Too short to rate but it was in essence a Savage squash.

It was back to the WWF in 1998 as a masked man named Golga who was obsessed with Eric Cartman. The biggest match of the run was at Summerslam 1998.

Insane Clown Posse plays the Oddities to the ring to a HUGE reaction.

Oddities vs. Kaientai

The Oddities are Golga (Earthquake under a mask), Giant Silva (Great Khali’s size and about a tenth of the skill) and Kurrgan (uh….yeah). Kaientai is a four man heel team here and not the comedy guys they would become in a year or so. Golga starts with Light Heavyweight Champion Taka Michinoku and the big man rams his own head into the buckle for some reason. He shoves down all four members of Kaientai as we’re firmly in comedy match territory.

Golga steals Kaientai’s manager Yamaguchi-San’s shoes and blasts various people with it before it’s off to the dancing Kurrgan. He gets on his knees to fight Funaki in a funny bit before dancing even more. Three of the four Japanese guys swarm Kurrgan to no effect as he cleans house anyway. Yamaguchi-San is shoved down again and it’s off to Silva to clean the little bit of the house which isn’t taken care of yet.

Kaientai gets in a fight over who comes in but it’s Dick Togo (Best name EVER) who gets the job. All four guys come in again but they can’t combine to lift Silva’s legs. Silva sends all four of them into the corner and crushes them at once before Kurrgan comes in to whip one into the other three. Silva throws Taka over the top onto the other three as this is complete dominance. Back in and Golga tries a seated senton on Mens Teioh but Taka and Togo hit a double dropkick to stagger him.

Two members of the team combine to slam him and four straight top rope splashes followed by four straight legdrops get no cover. A quadruple dropkick has Golga in trouble but a quadruple clothesline puts Kaientai down. The hot tag brings in Kurrgan who takes down everyone in sight and hits a wicked side slam on Funaki. Everything breaks down as managers Luna Vachon and Yamaguchi-San get in a fight. A quadruple chokeslam is good for the pin by Golga on everyone from Japan.

Rating: C-. The match was nothing but comedy, it was overly long, Golga is the only Oddity that could do a thing in the ring…..and I can’t help but love the Oddities. There’s just something so innocently goofy about them that I smile every time I see Kurrgan do his dance. The match sucked but it has no expectations coming in so it’s completely harmless.

One more for the road. From Raw, November 2, 1998.

Oddities vs. Mankind/Al Snow

Golga/Kurrgan here. ZZ Top is here. Mankind and Kurrgan start and we get a dance off until Snow jumps Kurrgan from behind. Off to Snow who has a bit less success. Snow fires off some kicks to the legs and Kurrgan goes down before Mankind comes back in. Golga comes in with a splash in the corner and an elbow drop for two. A side slam from Kurrgan gets the same as we’re told Vince is yelling at the Fink.

Mankind grabs a double arm DDT on Kurrgan and reaches for Socko, but he’s not there. Snow hits Kurrgan in the head with Head as Mankind leaves in panic. Snow walks into a bad Bossman Slam from Kurrgan. Snow makes both Oddities miss a few times but Kurrgan chokeslams him and the Earthquake gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a comedy match at times and a major upset at the end. Well maybe not major but still an upset. Kurrgan is a total guilty pleasure for me and when he’s in there with my all time favorite, what else am I going to say here other than it wasn’t all bad. This was nothing great but I had to like it a bit given who was in there.

Earthquake is another one of those guys that used what he had and got it over despite being a giant like so many others had been before him. His run with Hogan made him the top heel in the company for a good while and that’s pretty high praise when Hulkamania was still a big thing. His WCW run kind of sucked but he was long past his peak by that point. Still though, his best times were pretty good and he had a pretty lengthy career.

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A monster, a monster, he’s turned into a monster. It’s Abyss.

Abyss vs. AJ Styles

From March 17, 2004 and this is a ladder match for the #1 contendership. The brawl is on immediately and AJ hits the Pele (called a bicycle kick here) to stagger the monster. AJ tries to hit the ropes but Abyss hits a HARD clothesline to take his head off. A chop that would make Big Show cringe puts AJ down and Abyss goes to get the ladder. Abyss shoves AJ down with the ladder from the floor but AJ just rams into Abyss to knock him back to the floor. Styles goes up the ladder but hops down and moves the ladder closer to the ropes. It takes too long to set up though and Abyss shoves the ladder down.

Both guys are back inside now and Abyss whips Styles hard into the ladder. The monster climbs up VERY slowly so AJ makes an easy save before bulldogging him onto the ladder. A springboard dropkick sends Abyss to the floor and Styles follows out with a dive. Now it’s AJ going up but Abyss blasts him in the back with a chair before wedging it between the ropes in the corner. Shock Treatment puts AJ down again and Abyss pulls out another ladder. This one stays outside though as he bridges it between the ring and the barricade.

AJ blocks a chokeslam by biting Abyss’ fingers but the monster throws him head first into the chair in the corner to knock Styles loopy. Abyss throws in some more chairs but AJ counters a powerbomb into the Styles Clash (really a pancake due to the legs not being wrapped around Abyss’ arms but close enough) in a very surprising power display. AJ goes up the ladder for a 450 splash, drawing a well earned THIS IS AWESOME chant.

They both climb again but AJ slows Abyss down with some kicks to the head. AJ can’t reach the contract so he busts out a sunset powerbomb to put Abyss through two chairs set up in the corner. Cue Raven to distract AJ for no explained reason, allowing Abyss to shove the ladder over, sending Styles FACE FIRST into the bridged ladder. Abyss easily gets the contract. Apparently Raven was trying to get Russo’s attention or something.

Rating: B+. They had my favorite match ever in TNA so it’s no surprise that I liked this too. It’s the David vs. Goliath formula which is going to work almost every time, especially when you have two people that can work at a high level. The ending felt abrupt but the big spots almost all worked here. Really good stuff, as expected.

Abyss would appear on the first episode of Impact from June 4, 2004.

Shark Boy vs. Abyss

Sharky goes after Abyss and bites his way out of a chokeslam. A high cross body is caught in an easy slam before the Black Hole Slam ends this quick. Total squash for Abyss.

The most famous match type of Abyss’ career has always been Monster’s Ball. He would be in the first incarnation at Victory Road 2004.

Abyss vs. Monty Brown vs. Raven

This is the original Monster’s Ball match, which originally was far different. The idea here is that the guys have been locked up without light or food for 24 hours. This aspect has since completely disappeared due to reasons of sanity and now it’s just a regular hardcore match. The announcers say that Raven has the advantage here as he’s smaller and crazier which makes sense, at least in the lack of food and light idea.

We have a table set up inside of 30 seconds. Abyss is dominating here for the most part. It’s really more of an intense triple threat rather than a hardcore match and now we have chairs coming in. Raven really is underrated in the ring. I love what Brown does by just chucking a chair at Raven’s head. That’s awesome. Naturally we have a ref bump because they’re required I suppose.

Now we move to the big spots of the match as we have Brown sitting on the top rope and Abyss busts out the tacks. Since he’s the only one wearing a shirt you know that he’s the guy that’s going to wind up going through them. Yep, Raven comes in to powerbomb him while he’s trying to suplex Brown. That wasn’t predictable at all. Not a bit. Raven gets two off of it and then we set up another stupid spot as the table is set up in the corner and Raven gets Pounced (a spear/tackle) through it. It was a mess of course.

Rating: D+. These things are going to happen and while I can’t stand them, I get that there’s a point to them. There is a market for these I guess and at least they’re keeping it shorter. There’s really no way to make these good without going too far, but this was really lackluster even for one of these.

It’s back to the AJ feud with my favorite TNA match ever. From Lockdown 2005.

Abyss vs. AJ Styles

For the few of you that might be wondering, this is my favorite TNA match ever. AJ is YOUNG looking here which is saying a lot as he’s still young today but here he looks like he’s about 19. He’s a two time world champion here though which is never mentioned anymore for no apparent reason. Abyss is listed at 350lbs here again but he’s a LOT slimmer looking here.

He still has the chains here which were a nice touch for him. I have no idea why but they are. AJ dives through the door to take down Abyss before he gets in. Abyss tries to whip him into the railing but AJ baseball slides UNDERNEATH the railing and jumps up onto it and hits a rana to take down Abyss. That was freaking awesome and happened inside of five seconds.

All AJ to start as we’re still on the floor. Abyss had more or less been unstoppable recently since splitting from his stablemate Alex Shelley (let that sink in for a bit) so this is a major showdown and seeing Abyss reeling is odd to see. Abyss fights him back and whips him into the railing again so this time AJ channels his inner Morrison and double jumps up to a platform into the crowd, spins around and jumps over FIVE ROWS of fans to his the forearm on Abyss. This is one of the most awesome performances I’ve ever seen and we’re maybe three minutes into this.

AJ dives at Abyss on the railing ala Sting but instead of crashing into it clears the railing by a good foot and hits the ground in the crowd. Abyss pounds on him a bit but AJ just kicks the heck out of him to escape for a bit. West talks about Kenny Chesney for absolutely no apparent reason.

They open the door of the cage after about six minutes of brawling. The difference between this and the stupid stuff before: this was INCREDIBLY entertaining and the fans were way into it as opposed to Jarrett and Waltman walking around and occasionally hitting each other with something. AJ and Abyss never stopped moving and the fans were into it because of it. The difference here: hard work works better than walking around hitting each other with weapons.

AJ punches Abyss HARD but gets the cage door slammed into his arm and then his face where he snaps down to the floor. It looked like he got hit by a bus or something as fast as he hit the ground. Great selling there. AJ is busted open and Abyss pounds away even more. AJ finally in the cage now as Abyss looks under the ring for the bag of tacks. About eight and a half minutes in they’re in the cage together.

Abyss chokes him with the chain and we play tug of war. AJ simply will not quit and keeps hammering away to no avail though. With the chain on the top turnbuckle, Abyss launches AJ over his head in kind of a forced leapfrog and his head slams into the chain. The fans think this is awesome and for once they’re right. They stop for a bit for the a neck crank and AJ sells the heck out of it too.

AJ charges again but Abyss grabs him in a gorilla press and LAUNCHES him up to just let him crash down. He tries it again but AJ counters into a DDT onto the chain. Two punches and an enziguri takes Abyss down as does a headscissors. AJ hits a moonsault press but Abyss just lets him bounce off which was cool looking. AJ sends him into a chair into the corner that Abyss set up and gets a German suplex for two that looked very good.

He goes for the Styles Clash but Abyss is way too big for that. Chokeslam is countered into a rollup for two. AJ gets another running start but walks into the Black Hole Slam for a VERY long two. Dang Abyss looks awesome (what am I saying?) when he really uncorks that thing. Yep there are the tacks. Black Hole Slam into them are countered as is a powerbomb.

AJ gets the Styles Clash (ok more like a falling face first slam but we’ll give it to him) into the tacks for two. Wow I would have bet on that being the ending. You know if I didn’t know the ending already. Abyss is ROCKED here which was unthinkable until this match. AJ goes to the top of the cage and Abyss can’t catch him. His solution: throw the referee at the cage to knock AJ off. That was awesome.

Abyss climbs up as AJ is barely hanging on. He goes up with the chain and might be thinking to hang him as he had on Impact. Yep that’s what he’s going for. AJ is on the outside and Abyss on the inside and yep he’s hanging him. AJ gets the chain off somehow and Abyss grabs the chokeslam. AJ bites his fingers and opens those things up! AJ jumps off the top of the cage and hits a freaking sunset flip powerbomb onto the tacks from the top of the cage to get the pin as Abyss is DEAD.

Rating: A+. OH YES! AJ was absolutely amazing here and it was definitely Abyss’ best match ever. This was just a total war for twenty minutes with AJ never stopping and taking it to Abyss much like Flair did back at Starrcade 93 to Vader. There was no gimmick here as it was just a big old fight in a cage with weapons brought in for fun. AJ would get the title the next month….and then lose it to Raven the next month because the world was clamoring for more Raven and less AJ. Uh…sure. He wouldn’t get it back for over four years.

Abyss would enter into a Gauntlet for the Gold at Hard Justice for a title shot at some point in the future.

Gauntlet For The Gold

Roode is #1 and the surprise entrant Zach Gowen is #2. Get the joke from earlier now? Roode steals the prosthetic leg. West: “Put it back!” but Gowen comes back with one footed dropkicks and a reverse DDT. Eric Young comes in at #3. The intervals are only a minute long which includes their time coming to the ring. Remember at this point it’s over the top to eliminate people.

Roode gets a pretty evil one legged giant swing on Gowen. Cassidy Riley is #4. Ok now the clock doesn’t start until he gets to the ring. He helps against the Canadians and Gowen hits a leg lariat on Roode. Here’s Skipper at #5 and the clock is under Young rules again. Skipper takes a lariat from Roode but hits a nice moonsault to take him down. The ring is getting a little full now so everyone has something to do.

Shark Boy comes in at #6 to a nice reaction. Thank goodness he’s not Stone Cold yet. He won a match on the preshow to get in. Sharky hits a neckbreaker on Young but Gowen takes him down. Shark Boy bites Gowen hard enough that Gowen goes out. So we have our first elimination. #7 is another Canadian in the form of A-1, the big power guy. He cleans house with clotheslines and stomps on Riley.

#8 is Chris Sabin. In a Matrix style move, he sets for a tornado DDT on Young but with his feet in the air, he kicks EVERYONE ELSE in the chest in a big circle before hitting the DDT. That was cool. Petey Williams is #9 to put the Canadians at full strength. He tries a Destroyer on Sharky but gets backdropped to the apron. Shark Boy goes after him and is eliminated by A-1. Eric puts out Riley to get some people out of the ring.

Sonny Siaki is #10 and he goes after the Canadians. Skipper gets REALLY stupid and tries to walk the ropes. Roode is like boy you’re stupid and clotheslines him out. Lance Hoyt is #11 and he has his own cheering section. Young is easily tossed out by Hoyt and Team Canada is down to three. Sabin can’t get Williams out and Bentley is #12. He superkicks Hoyt but is taken out by Sabin who goes out at the same time. They fight on the floor as the Canadians put out Siaki.

Here’s Jerelle Clark at #13. He’s just an X-Division guy. There are five people in at the moment: Roode, A-1, Williams, Clark and Hoyt. The Canadians help Williams on a Destroyer to put Clark out. Mikey Batts is #14 and he fires off some kicks to take down the Canadians. He’s another X-Division guy. He and Hoyt team up on Canada as The Outlaw Kip James is #15.

A HUGE cobra clutch slam kills Batts and the fans want to see it again. #16 is Trytan but Hoyt hits a big boot before Trytan even gets in. Batts is gone. Trytan is chokeslamming everyone in sight and hits a spinebuster on Hoyt. Ron Killings is #17 and gets powerslammed very quickly. As Trytan poses, all three Canadians team up to throw him out.

Apollo is #18 and he cleans house. He and Kip chop it out but Apollo charges and is low bridged out. BG James is #19 but the Canadians break up the staredown between the Outlaws. Hoyt kicks Roode out but Roode helps A-1 to get rid of Hoyt. The Outlaws team up on Petey and A-1, tossing them both out. Abyss comes in at #20 and knocks both Outlaws out to get us down to the final two.

So it’s Truth vs. Abyss for the shot and it’s a regular one on one match, meaning over the top doesn’t mean anything anymore. Abyss throws him to the floor anyway and tries to hit him with a chair but it’s taken away by the referee. Back inside now and Abyss pounds on Killings in the corner. Truth speeds things up and hits a leg lariat and a headbutt for two. Abyss gets a big boot and brings in the chain but that gets taken away.

Instead he’ll use a chair because the referee takes forever to put the chain in the corner. Truth gets the chair and hits Abyss twice in the head for two. We actually get a ref bump in this match. Is this really needed? Truth checks on him and walks into a chokeslam onto the chair for a very delayed two. Abyss tries to Earthquake down onto the chair onto Killings but Truth crotches him on the chair instead. Not that it matters though as Killings jumps into the Black Hole Slam and it’s over.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t a horrible battle royal and the one minute intervals keep things moving fast enough. I’m not sure how much I like the one on one match at the end but it’s not a terrible idea I guess. Still though, like most non-Rumbles, this wasn’t a very interesting battle royal. Not awful though.

Abyss is a hardcore guy, so here’s a hardcore dream match from Genesis 2005.

Abyss vs. Sabu

No DQ. Abyss has a chair and his chain. Sabu of course has….nothing. He had his arm covered but when he pulled the towel off there was no barbed wire (there had been at an earlier show). Abyss bails to the floor and Sabu dives on him to take over early. Sabu sets up a table but Abyss takes over and sends him back in. Abyss beats on him VERY slowly as I’m assuming they have a lot of time here.

Sabu is bleeding from the nose. For some reason Abyss goes up, only to be ranaed down. Sabu sets up a chair but it goes upside his head for his efforts. Abyss wedges the chair between the ropes but due to the law of wrestling, he goes head first into it. Triple Jump Moonsault almost totally misses and it’s out to the floor (complete with an F Bomb from Sabu) where Abyss is driven through the table with a slingshot flipping legdrop.

Abyss gets up first and picks up his bag of tacks. As he’s laying them out though, Sabu pulls out a barbed wire chair. Mitchell pulls it away, but Sabu hits some clotheslines in an attempt to put Abyss into the tacks. Abyss is like screw that and chokeslams Sabu into the tacks but it only gets two. He loads up a Frog Splash but lands on tacks, which gets two for Sabu. Camel clutch goes on but Abyss makes a rope. Sabu gets the chair but Abyss knocks him down. Powerbomb onto the chair is countered by a Black Hole Slam onto the chair (FREAKING OW MAN!) gets the pin. Abyss wasn’t scared of it at all.

Rating: C-. It was very violent and the ending was sick, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen a million times before. Abyss being scared of the barbed wire went nowhere at all which didn’t help anything here. The match wasn’t that bad but it’s just another hardcore brawl with some sharp stuff involved.

Next up was a feud with NWA World Champion Christian Cage, culminating in a Full Metal Mayhem match at Sacrifice 2006. Abyss stole the title itself before challenging to become champion.

NWA World Title: Abyss vs. Christian

This is basically a TLC match and Christian is defending. Christian immediately takes him down but can’t overcome the power soon afterwords. Abyss goes for a ladder but Christian dropkicks it back into his face. Back into the ring and Abyss throws him to the apron, only to have the ladder see-sawed into his face. They head to the floor with Christian pounding away on Abyss’ head.

Out into the crowd and they go to that wall that the people in every big TNA brawl fight to. They head back into the ring and the ladder is set up in the corner. Abyss misses a splash onto said ladder so Christian puts it up in front of the challenger. He tries a charge at the ladder but Abyss throws it back at him, knocking Christian down. Abyss wedges a chair between the ropes, and due to the law of wrestling #1, goes crashing into it for his trouble.

Christian goes up and gets his hand on the belt but Abyss makes a pretty easy save. They fight over a German onto the ladder but after neither can get it to go, it’s Christian that is sent crashing into the ladder. Abyss goes outside and sets up a pair of tables next to the ring. Now there’s a table set up in the ring as well but Christian gets in a boot to the ribs to break things up.

Abyss puts him on the ladder but misses a cross body kind of move onto the climbing instrument. A frog splash onto the ladder misses but so does a chain shot against the post. Christian chokes him with the chain but gets flipped through one of the tables at ringside. Abyss goes up but Christian makes the save with a chair. They both fall off the ladder with Christian hitting the top rope. Abyss lays out the tacks but walks into an Unprettier onto the ladder. Mitchell takes a Rock Bottom into the tacks and Abyss is put on the table. He has a chance to go for the belt but drops a frog splash through Abyss, then grabs the title.

Rating: B-. This was ok but it never hit the level that a lot of these matches hit. This felt like something you would see on a TV show, meaning that while it was good there was nothing above the usual level of violence or carnage. For a B level main event it was fine, but it’s absolutely nothing you’d ever want to see a second time unless you were completely obsessed with Christian or something.

Next up was a WAY too long feud with Sting, where Sting tried to help bring out the person behind the mask. This involved James Mitchell being revealed as Abyss’ father and a bunch of strange matches, including this one at Destination X 2007.

Sting vs. Abyss

This is a Last Rites match which means a casket match but the casket is above the ring and you have to have it lowered and then pull them to the ceiling where somehow it signifies their death and ascension or something like that. And people wonder why Russo is made fun of. Keep in mind that Abyss was world champion about two months earlier after just having been an unstoppable monster. This is what we’re getting instead.

Still on the floor as this is just a big brawl so far. As always the splash on the railing misses and Abyss takes over with a chair shot to the back. Into the ring for the first time and there are candles on the corner. Plastic ones mind you but still dude, candles? Scorpion Death Drop puts Abyss down for no cover but he was down for all of a second. One of the candelabras goes into Sting’s face and he’s busted open.

Abyss calls down the casket and the lights go all blue. LOUD fire Russo chant starts up as Sting is pouring blood. Half of the casket is shut and it becomes a regular casket match now. There’s a tombstone. The one made of rock, not the Piledriver. Scorpion goes on and Abyss taps which means nothing. Chair shot puts him down as Sting is bleeding a ton.

The fans chant boring as Sting puts the stone over Abyss’ head and breaks it with the bat. Sting gets out and Abyss shoves him into the corner with his hand around the throat. Abyss chokeslams Sting onto the casket, crushing it. The fans chant TNA, showing that it doesn’t take much to sway their emotions.

Abyss sets up a pair of chairs back to back and puts a tombstone over the top of them. He puts Sting on top for a suplex through it but Sting grabs the candelabra and blasts Abyss in the head with it, knocking them through the tombstone. Sting puts Abyss in the casket to win it before collapsing onto it and having both of them raised into the air. This is what we’re talking about by matches and angles that no one but the booker gets and he doesn’t care what the fans think.

Rating: F+. The FIRE RUSSO chants were right. There were candles, tombstones and a broken casket. On top of that they had only a weak match at best. Sting’s blood was impressive but at the same time it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. Weak match overall and rather stupid to say the least. This feud went on forever and seemingly never stopped.

Sting and Abyss would soon join forces (because wrestling says they have to) and feud with Christian’s Coalition, including this match at Hard Justice 2007.

Andrew Martin/Sting/Abyss vs. Christian Cage/AJ Styles/Tomko

There’s barbed wire around the top of the cage and you win by pinfall, but the person being pinned has to be bleeding first. Abyss gets beaten down until bald Test makes the save. The lights go out and Sting appears in the ring, clocking Tomko with a chair. No one is in the ring at the moment. Ok so it’s Abyss vs. Styles now. Well they had my favorite match ever in TNA in a cage so no complaints there.

Tomko is busted so he could be pinned now. AJ gets a jumping enziguri to put Abyss to the floor again. Styles dives out of the cage to take Abyss out again. So….you know what, screw it. I’m not playing dumb on this one. GET IN THE FREAKING CAGE LIKE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO YOU IDIOTS! Three minutes in we’re told that whoever gets the fall is the #1 contender. Well sure why not.

Test beats up Christian but Christian isn’t bleeding yet so no cover. And now we cut to the back to watch Pacman freaking Jones get loaded into an ambulance. In the middle of the second main event of all times. OH COME ON ALREADY. NO ONE FREAKING CARES TNA. This is shown for 23 seconds, which could be worse but it was 23 seconds too long. Guess what the announcers are going to talk about for awhile now.

Everyone is in the ring now I believe. Oh wait Sting isn’t. Tomko breaks up a double chokeslam and Sting is trying to get in. That fails and they manage to lock him out of the cage. Abyss is busted open from his head and arm. Total heel beatdown here but Sting has wire cutters. Sting gets in and here comes the comeback. Tomko cracks Sting with a chari and AJ hits a top rope splash on Abyss as does Christian, getting two. Test kicks a chair into Tomko’s head and there’s glass on the mat. Christian escapes which doesn’t mean anything here. Black Hole Slam onto the glass gives Abyss the pin on Styles.

Rating: C. For this big bloody war, this wasn’t much. Then again we didn’t see the complete version because we couldn’t wait five minutes to see Jones get loaded up into the ambulance of course. Not bad but Lethal Lockdown is a lot better than this was. Having only six people in there was a good thing though as it wasn’t too crowded in there.

Father Mitchell would come back with his other son, Judas Mesias, who challenged Abyss in a very bloody feud. From Against All Odds 2008.

Judas Mesias vs. Abyss

This was taped three weeks ago and is in the Impact Zone down in Orlando. There aren’t any ropes but rather barbed wire. Abyss pushes over a cameraman on the way to the ring. For some reason that made me chuckle. The fans are behind Abyss here. Well that’s good since he’s the face. The lack of ropes makes things look really weird here.

Abyss does the arm pose and Mesias looks at him. It’s weird seeing the face tower over the heel like he does here. They fight to try to push the other into the wire but neither has any luck. Mesias hits a dropkick and Abyss hits wire, cutting his arm a bit. Mesias goes in also, but in his case it’s side first. Drop toehold sends Abyss into the wire. This is going to be one of those matches where all we’re doing is sending people into the wire isn’t it?

Abyss slides under the wire as the fans chant who’s your daddy. He finds a chair wrapped in barbed wire and the fans want blood apparently. Abyss puts the chair on the chest of Mesias but it goes into Abyss’ crotch. That has to hurt a bit no? Barbed wire chair to Abyss’ head. BIG cut over the eye of Abyss.

Mesias brings in a barbed wire board with a slight bit of help from Mitchell. They’re on the floor now with Mesias in control. Abyss finds another board and Mesias is bleeding from the side. The new board is set up between the railing and the table like a platform. Abyss tries to chokeslam Mitchell through it but gets blocked by Mesias and it’s back into the ring. Chokeslam onto the barbed wire is blocked but a gorilla press drop isn’t and Mesias is all cut up.

Abyss’ arms are a mess. There’s ANOTHER barbed wire board being brought in by Abyss. Mesias gets up on the apron so Abyss chokeslams him down onto the board that was set up like a platform. Time for Abyss to go after Mitchell now and it’s a Black Hole Slam for the manager. Mesias pops up somehow and it’s a Black Hole Slam for him too.

Abyss gets hit low to shift the momentum again. Mesias more or less tackles Abyss into the boards for Abyss’ first major bump of the match. They slug it out and Mesias thinks it’s smart to charge at a guy whose finisher is a swinging slam. It connects onto one of the boards and this is over.

Rating: C+. Well they got the violence stuff pretty well I guess. All things considered this was pretty good. Thankfully this feud was OVER after this as I couldn’t take much more from it. Tenay saying that Abyss could be added to the list of hardcore legends like Funk, Brody, Cactus Jack and the Sheik is a big nauseating but you get the idea. Better than you would expect but just what you would expect if that makes sense.

In 2008, Kurt Angle started feuding with Jeff Jarrett. Jeff won the first match and Angle wanted to go again, but Jeff said Angle had to beat Abyss first. From Turning Point 2008.

Kurt Angle vs. Abyss

This is Falls Count Anywhere. I kind of dig Angle’s music. Angle needs to stay away from the red and white stripe singlet. It just doesn’t work for him. Abyss is in the prison suit thing and looks even stupider. It’s all monster to start as you would expect.

We’re in the crowd now and all Abyss can do is throw punches it seems. Angle gets a chair out of the front row. Great to see that someone got up and left in one of the biggest matches on the card. Angle does the running front flip off the stage onto Abyss that you see on a ton of TNA highlight reels.

It doesn’t really matter as Abyss is dominating maybe 8 seconds later. West says Angle kicked Abyss in the nuts. That sounded odd. They go through a wall and are under the stage. Always good to see Angle do new stuff. The cameras lose them so we completely stop for a bit as they come through the other side of the wall.

We’re back in the ring now as this has been your standard hardcore match so far. Angle Slam gets two of course. Why does everyone put the chair between the ropes like that? Angle gets chokeslammed for two. Angle actually hits the moonsault. It’s just finisher to finisher now.

Speaking of which there’s the ankle lock for just a second and it goes into the Black Hole Slam. I hate this part of matches most of the time. We head to the Spanish announce table and Angle goes up the scaffolding behind it. And there goes Abyss down through the table for the pin

Rating: B-. Not bad and it was intense, but this was really just your run of the mill hardcore match. Angle looked solid here but there was very limited drama. That forward flip though was great looking. The in ring stuff kind of sucked though and Abyss is just so limited it’s not even funny. Fun match though.

After all the violence, Abyss finally found a friend in Matt Morgan. They would team up and dominate a few weak teams, eventually getting a Tag Team Title shot at Final Resolution in December 2008.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Matt Morgan/Abyss

Beer Money has Jackie with them and no one cares about her at all, period. Storm has the Boozer Cruiser thing too and I still hate it. Big brawl to start of course with everyone in there at once. Everyone runs around and Abyss goes to the back for a bit. Morgan dives off the top to the floor to take out Beer Money in a cool spot as Abyss is back, accomplishing nothing with his leaving.

I really hope the bell rang already and I just missed it so that the time so far has been taken off the time of this match. And there’s my answer as this is all pre-match stuff. Great. Beer Money try to run and that gets them nowhere. Standard you have until ten or the titles are forfeited jazz. Abyss and Storm finally officially start us off which is apparently the meat of this feud.

Storm cracked Abyss with some bottles and the monster is ticked off about it if you’re curious about the details for some odd reason. We get word that the X Title is held up AGAIN. Sweet goodness man just have the freaking title match and have it stick. This is what we mean by overbooking if you’re curious.

Morgan beats up Storm for a bit and asks the crowd if they want to see Storm vs. Abyss. Didn’t we see that like two minutes ago or is my memory going already? Beer Money has the titles here if I forgot to mention that. Storm runs from Abyss so we get Roode instead. I prefer Rick but this is fine I suppose. Roode is in trouble so Storm goes off to get some beer.

The fans are all over Beer Money here. Morgan sets for the Carbon Footprint and that twat waffle Jackie gets involved which thankfully isn’t a DQ. Storm finally comes in for a bit and works over Morgan’s knee for awhile. Half crab goes on for awhile as Beer Money does the referee isn’t looking so we’ll pretend we tagged and swear we did and get away with it because the referee is biased against faces technique.

Abyss finally comes in and we get Storm vs. Abyss which apparently has been built up for three or four days! Shock Treatment to Storm gets a long two. Storm tries to get a shot with the bottle but Abyss intercepts it. Jackie interferes and Storm gets a shot with brass knuckles to end it. Not huge on this one at all.

Rating: D+. It’s watchable I suppose but it wasn’t interesting at all and no one really cared in the slightest. Abyss vs. Storm was allegedly the selling point of the match and that never happened at all really. The ending was overdone to no end which should shock no one at all. It’s ok I guess but it felt thrown together which is never really good at all.

As is almost always the case in wrestling, the team split, leading to another violent feud. Here’s a big match between them at Lockdown 2009.

Doomsday Chamber of Blood: Matt Morgan vs. Abyss

I’d assume it’s a first blood match. Oh ok you win by pin or submission but they have to be bleeding first. Mike makes sure to inform us that this is NOT a first blood match though, even it’s about bleeding first. Morgan had turned heel again and turned on Abyss. Is anyone really surprised by that? Morgan has a chair to start but it gets knocked back into his face.

Lots of punches to start. This is during the Dr. Stevie period for Abyss and him being all insane and whatnot like that. Basic big man match to start as the fans say they want blood. I’ve always wanted someone to come out with a needle or something and get a tiny poke with it to make the guy bleed and take credit for a win like that. Abyss can’t bring himself to use a chair and he’s in trouble because of it.

Morgan throws weapons out of the ring to protect himself, drawing great heat. I see no barbed wire at all mind you. The chair to Abyss’ head busted him open so Morgan threw them out as he had the stuff he needed already. That makes sense actually. Morgan gets a decent dropkick. Fans are rather bored here but not entirely. This gimmick match overload is starting to wear on them though.

He busts out the bag of glass, making the whole idea of him throwing the chair out TOTALLY POINTLESS. The fans want Stevie. Morgan can’t manage to shove glass into the head of the monster. Abyss comes back and rams him into the cage a bunch and gets a chokeslam but he can’t pin him due to the lack of laceration. Morgan misses a cross body and down goes the referee.

Abyss gets some glass and jams it into Morgan’s head which would likely kill him but who cares about that? He covers Morgan and here’s a second referee for the two count. Abyss goes to the floor and gets the chair. There has been NO barbed wire which was advertised. Dr. Stevie is revealed to be Stevie Richards to the shock of NO ONE and his distractions lets a Carbon Footprint gets two.

The fans chant ECW as you can feel Vince’s lawyers smile from here. Yes they actually made not only a PPV but a major angle out of this. After Stevie steals the chair, Abyss goes under the ring and gets a bag full of tacks. THEN WHY DID HE GO FOR THE CHAIR IF HE KNEW THOSE WERE THERE???

Stevie STORMS, yes STORMS I say, the ring and beats up Abyss which gets him nowhere. Sweet goodness could they not overbook a single match? And then Morgan jumps him and gives him a chokebomb into the tacks for the easy pin. Well I’m glad to see they got the important plot point of STEVIE RICHARDS in this.

Rating: D+. I saw no barbed wire in there which was promised. The rest of this was nothing special in the slightest. Again they overdid it for the sake of the live crowd and having no one care about the actual match due to them just wanting Steven. This wasn’t anything great at all and was just another Abyss weapons match which we’ve seen a thousand times.

Time for another hardcore dream match, but Abyss is fired if he uses thumbtacks.  From Bound For Glory 2009.

Mick Foley vs. Abyss

Stevie Richards is referee and is the doctor again. LOUD pyro for Abyss. Foley jumps him on the ramp and is all casual about hitting him with the barbed wire bat. I like that. I’m reading his book at the moment and haven’t gotten to this part if it’s in there. Almost immediately Foley goes up the set, climbing a tower. Abyss follows and gets knocked through part of the ramp.

Foley climbs down as Stevie says Abyss is done. Foley gets a running start and drives the bat into Abyss as he’s still in that hole in the ramp/stage. Foley, the face, of course gets cheered. Stevie is the cheerleader dude here as the match just kind of stops until Abyss climbs through the stage. We have a barded wire board from somewhere and he makes a platform with it between the guard rail and the ring.

And there’s another board that’s just like the first. Double armed DDT to Abyss to the board. Richards beats up Abyss too because EVERYONE loved that angle. Foley gets a bat shot into Abyss’ arm to open it up. His head is busted too. Foley goes into the wire board now then Abyss does the same. Make that a sandwich as the other is under him. Naturally it only gets two.

Foley busts out the tacks and Abyss sets to chokeslam him onto them but he’s not allowed. Down goes Stevie and here’s Daffney to give Foley a Taser. And just to make it more stupid it explodes as Foley jabs him with it. They TOTALLY botch it as Abyss misses his kickout and Foley gets three and Abyss raises his shoulder at what would have been four so the referee says he kicked out anyway.

Crowd totally boos that out of the building as Stevie pulls the referee out when Abyss goes for the pin. Daffney goes through the platform they made earlier to get a HOLY SMOKES chant. Stevie tries to beat up Abyss and goes into the tacks for his trouble sans shirt. Chokeslam for Foley and we get the Over the Edge 98 finish as Abyss slams Richards’ hand down for the pin.

Rating: C-. Totally violent but overbooked. Also the botch messed things completely up as it was clearly three and everyone knew it. These matches are fine once in awhile but does it really prove anything? This was a far cry from the Edge or Orton matches and it just didn’t work that well for me. Granted I’m not a fan of hardcore so it’s not my style anyway.

Time for a trip to Mexico as Abyss was brought in as a mercenary at Triplemania XVIII.

Cibernetico/Abyss vs. El Zorro/Vampiro

Cibernetico is one of the top faces in the company (or was at this point). Abyss and Vampiro I think you know. El Zorro is a heel and part of the Foreign Legion and after this show would win the world title. This is a hardcore match. Despite being a foreigner Abyss isn’t part of the Foreign Legion for some reason.

Cibernetico’s entrance is in a word, epic. I think he’s supposed to be a cyborg or something. He’s clearly one of the most popular people in the company. This is that odd kind of hardcore where you have to tag in and out. Yeah I know just go with it. Cibernetico and Zorro start us off.

The tights of Cibernetico says Main Man. At least there isn’t a target saying “goes here” underneath it. The partners just come in for no apparent reason with Abyss going off on Vampiro. This is during Abyss-A-Mania but it doesn’t seem to be that bad at this point. Zorro has a kendo stick as the announcers argue some more. Zorro beats on Cibernetico with a chair in the ring while the other guys are out on the floor.

Vampiro sets up a table but can’t get a moonsault through it. Abyss can’t get his powerbomb through it either so it all evens out. Cibernetico hits the floor and now it’s turning into a regular hardcore match. Vampiro and Konnan point at each other for some reason but the wasted time lets Abyss get his hands on Vampiro. Abyss is thrown at the table which collapses but doesn’t break.

Konnan gets in Vampiro’s face again for no apparent reason. Everyone but Abyss is in the ring now and it’s a 2-1 beatdown. I’m not sure what the deal is with two referees. Maybe Gorilla Monsoon is secretly commissioner here or something. Cibernetico dumps Vampiro (to be with Abyss I guess) but has a kendo stick tossed into his leg.

Abyss is back in now but can’t get a double chokeslam. He settles for a double clothesline instead and down goes the Foreign Legion. Abyss……moves……very……very……slowly. The Foreign Legion hits the ring, in the form of Christopher Daniels, Kozlov, Chessman, Nosawa (Japanese guy) and Hernandez. Cibernetico is like screw that and beats them up on his own.

Zorro takes him down and hammers away with the kendo stick. Cue Abyss who hits Shock Treatment and Zorro is more or less dead. Hernandez misses a chair shot and hits Vampiro by mistake. Konnan grabs Vampiro and throws powder in his face. A chokeslam from Cibernetico ends this.

Rating: C+. Not bad here. They got rid of the tagging after about a second and things got a lot better. Decent little match here and the Foreign Legion losing is a good thing for a change tonight. Cibernetico is a guy that it’s easy to get behind so I can see why he’s one of the most popular there. Decent match all around but a bit rushed.

Soon after this, Abyss would start saying that THEY were coming. He would also get a World Title shot at Victory Road 2010.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Abyss

Everybody goes for Abyss to start and it doesn’t work. The crowd is odd here for some reason. This goes nowhere as Abyss just gets up. Hardy and Anderson get him down for like a second and we’re into the usual formula here to an extent. Yep we’re in the formula. That’s fine though as it’s really the only way to do this.

We’re mostly just killing time thus far. The crowd seems a bit dead for some reason but maybe it’s just been a long show. Van Dam hits a split legged moonsault on Anderson for two as Hardy saves. Abyss is gone for the moment so I’m waiting on his return to break up a pin. Instead we get a Tower of Doom with RVD taking the big bump from it. The fans chant TNA for a heel doing a big move. That sums things up pretty well.

Everyone is in the ring now and RVD is in control. I have no idea why everyone is trying to beat Abyss. He’s supposed to be unhurtable but they keep going for him. The fans chant for Anderson. This is really just a bunch of near falls with moves on the side. It’s not bad, but it’s the hazard of multiple man matches. Mic Check on Abyss gets two. Black Hole to Hardy gets two. Abyss looks stupid counting the pin.

Anderson and Hardy finally go at it and it gets NOTHING. This crowd is just out of it. Remember who these fans are too. Abyss is on Hardy who is on Anderson so RVD hits the Five Star for the pin. Wow that was anticlimactic.

Post match Abyss beats up RVD and gets the nail board which misses everything. The show ends with Abyss holding the board and RVD looking at him. Yeah that was stupid.

Rating: D. This just didn’t do it for me. It could have been worse, but at the same time there just wasn’t anything at all special here. The ending to both the match and the show just completely sucked, but what did you really expect? I see no reason at all for RVD to retain there, so of course he did. Whatever.

After feuding with Van Dam for a little while longer, Abyss would be revealed as one of the major stars who combined to form Immortal. This earned him a TV Title shot at Genesis 2011.

TV Title: Abyss vs. Douglas Williams

Yeah because this is EXACTLY what the people wanted to see. Williams has a hurt hand here. Sunset flip can’t hit early on as this is power vs. technical here. Abyss rams the hand into the post to take over. Williams slaps away but can’t do anything of note. Chokeslam can’t hit but Abyss puts him down anyway off a big boot. The fans want AJ.

Here’s the majority of this match: Williams tries to fight, Abyss hits him in the hand, Williams gets another shot in. A jumping back elbow from the second rope sets up a top rope knee drop for Williams for two. Running knee in the corner is countered into a big chokeslam for two. Abyss goes to the floor and finds Janice. It’s merely a ruse though as AJ comes down to clock Williams with the belt. Janice hits the floor again and a Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the TV Title. Get on to something else now.

Rating: C-. Match was ok I guess but dang dude this Immortal thing is getting to be such complete and utter nonsense it’s unreal. Abyss is a champion now and that’s all fine and good apparently. I’m not interested in this storyline at all and I know very few people that are, but TNA insists it’s good so that’s what we’re going to get. Oh joy indeed.

After vacating the title due to an injury, Abyss was sent after the X-Division Title on Impact, May 19, 2011.

X-Division Title: Abyss vs. Kazarian

Bischoff gives Abyss a pep talk before the match, basically saying kill him and also quoting Sun Tzu. Power vs. speed since the beginning as the announcers talk about how this could be the last X Division Title match ever if Abyss wins the belt. Abyss takes him down with power and cranks on the neck but Kaz fights back, only to walk into a chokeslam attempt. That doesn’t work and Kaz gets a springboard dropkick to take Abyss down.

Kaz cranks things up with a rana, an elbow and a legdrop, all off the ropes and resulting in a two count. Chokeslam is countered again into a victory roll for two but Kaz gets caught in Shock Treatment to shift the momentum right back to Abyss. Vader Bomb totally misses and may have hurt his knee. Kaz charges into a big boot as Abyss was apparently faking and the Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the only title he’s never won at 5:05. Tazz says the internet is burning up because of that. Abyss quotes Sun Tzu post match.

Rating: C+. Just a David vs. Goliath match but with a nice little twist of Abyss outsmarting Kaz when he couldn’t beat him with just straight power. I’m thinking this might actually be the beginning of the end for the division as there really isn’t much of a point to the thing at the moment. The TV Title is fine for a midcard title and despite the whole no limits thing, it’s almost always been seen as a Cruiserweight Title. Anyway, not a bad match but nothing of note at all.

Despite being handed titles, Abyss would leave Immortal in late 2011. They wanted him back though and sent Bully Ray to accomplish the goal. This led to a match at Genesis 2012 and if Ray wins, Abyss has to rejoin the team.

Bully Ray vs. Abyss

This is Monster’s Ball, which basically means hardcore. Ray immediately hits the floor and walks around for a bit. He grabs a chair and feels all mighty, but Abyss gets one of his own. Here’s a chair duel and Abyss shrugs off a chair shot. Ray walks into a chokeslam which he pops up from and a big boot takes Abyss down for a good 1 second. Abyss cracks him with a chair to take over and goes to get a staple gun and cheese grater.

Ray gets in a chain shot but a trashcan is no sold. With more weapon shots, Ray grabs a kendo stick. Abyss hits the floor and finds Janice, making Ray run to the back. Abyss follows and then they’re back already. They weren’t off camera for two seconds. Back at ringside and Abyss goes into a barbed wire board. Abyss’ arm is bleeding. He throws Ray in and grabs a pair of bags.

He doesn’t open them yet and instead it’s a cheese grater to the balls. Bag #1 has thumbtacks. Ray kicks him low, shouts about how his balls hurt, and gets a table. According to wrestling law #1 though, Ray goes through it via a chokeslam for two. There are two barbed wire boards in the ring now but Ray Rock Bottoms Abyss onto one for two.

Ray slams the other board on top of Abyss and hits the backsplash off the middle rope. Ok that was kind of awesome. Since it’s TNA though, it only gets two. Ray gets Janice but walks into a chokeslam onto the tacks….for two. Bully gets a boot up in the corner and grabs a kendo stick. He beats Abyss down with it via about 12 shots but for some reason hits the ropes. That’s enough for a Black Hole Slam onto the barbed wire for the pin at 15:28.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun and very violent hardcore match. The key to this one: we hadn’t seen it in awhile which made it have more, pardon the pun, impact. The no selling at the beginning was pretty fun and the big spots worked, but at some point it got kind of ridiculous. To be fair though, that’s the point. At least Immortal didn’t get a new member though so that’s a plus.

Later in the year, Abyss disappeared. Soon after this, Abyss’ brother Joseph Park would debut and say he was looking for the missing monster. Park of course became a wrestler and had a match against Aces and 8’s member Doc at Turning Point 2012.

Doc vs. Joseph Park

Doc is Luke Gallows remember. Park is always amazing in this role given how inept he can make himself look. He tries single leg takedown but Doc just laughs at him. Some wild right hands miss Doc until one accidentally catches him, ticking the biker off. They head to the floor where Park does a lot of running but manages to send Doc into the steps. Back in and Doc loads up a studded belt around his fist but the referee takes it away. Then we stop, because it’s hammer time. That of course gets taken away and Park pounds away.

The next three minutes or so are just Doc beating on Park with basic stuff and there’s only so much you can say about punches. Park starts a comeback but gets hit in the head with the belt to bust him open. He goes into a rage and hits the Black Hole Slam before turning back into Park. Park grabs a chair to whack Doc in the back with for two, but that’s all he’s got as Doc chokeslams him down for the pin at 11:01.

Rating: D. This was WAY too long and that’s where it died. At the end of the day, the joke with Park has been going on for months now and the fans clearly get it. Once the fans get what’s going on, the joke stops being as funny, which means it’s probably time to pull the plug on it, or at least move things forward. The match was bad though as it should have been about five minutes shorter.

Over time, Park would start freaking out if he saw blood. These moments got him a TV Title shot at Slammiversary 2013.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Joseph Park

Park doesn’t show up due to the beatdown from earlier tonight so D-Von talks some trash about the Boston Celtics. D-Von demands a ten count for Park to get out here….and there’s still no Park so D-Von retains.

D-Von of course makes the eternal mistake of running his mouth, saying that if Abyss was here, he’d take a beating like Park would have. You all know what’s coming next.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Abyss

Abyss cleans house of Knux and kicks D-Von in the face as the bell rings. Knux interferes from the floor to let D-Von get in a forearm to the face and take over with some very basic offense. Knee drops and right hands abound but a middle rope splash misses the monster. Abyss hits a splash in the corner followed by a chokeslam and the Black Hole Slam for the pin and the title at 3:49.

Rating: D. The match was barely there but it was the right result. D-Von has done nothing at all with the title in the six months he’s held it so maybe Abyss will actually defend the thing. If nothing else the split personalities deal is interesting when you add in a title. Nothing to see here, but that wasn’t the point of the match.

Park would start teaming with Eric Young and the pair had some success. They were in a gauntlet match at Bound For Glory 2013 with the winning team getting a Tag Team Title shot later in the show.

Tag Team Gauntlet

It’s a four team gauntlet match with the winning team getting the tag title shot on the PPV. We start with Bad Influence vs. Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero. The Bro Mans will be fourth due to Robbie E. winning a four way on Impact. Eric Young and Joseph Park will be third due to winning a drawing earlier tonight. Hernandez cleans house to start and Bad Influence bails to the floor. We finally get down to Daniels running into a big boot from Hernandez in the corner and take a quick break.

Back with Hernandez hitting an over the shoulder face plant to stop Kazarian’s momentum, allowing for a double tag to Chavo vs. Daniels. Chavo gets two off a headscissors and everything breaks down. Hernandez runs over Bad Influence and hits the big shoulder to run over Kazarian. Daniels low bridges SuperMex to the floor but walks into Three Amigos from Chavo. Not that it matters though as Kaz comes back in to distract Chavo, giving Daniels a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin at 7:30.

Young and Park are in next but get jumped on the way in. Park runs over Kazarian and slams him down, only to have Daniels chop block him down to give Kazarian control. Bad Influence double teams the big man as the fans chant for Young. Kazarian can’t quite get a sunset flip but avoids a seated senton from the big guy.

We take another break and come back with Eric getting the hot tag and pounding away on Daniels in the corner. Young flips over the corner and does Daniels’ strut down the apron before coming back for a belly to belly and a near fall. Kazarian makes the save and gets sent to the floor, allowing Daniels to hit a release Rock Bottom but miss the BME. Park hits a Samoan Drop on Daniels to give Young the pin at 16:50.

Bad Influence jumps Park and Young post match and sends Park into the Ultimate X structure. The referee calls for help as Park is injured and Young is out cold in the ring. Here come the Bro Mans with special guest Mr. Olympia Phil Heath. It’s basically a handicap match here with Young getting double teamed for a big, only to make a comeback with right hands and forearms. A slam puts Robbie down and Eric drops a top rope elbow for two. The numbers finally catch up with Eric though and a double flapjack sets up a Hart Attack for the pin and the title shot at 22:00.

Rating: C-. Nothing special here but I liked the length of the match. Far too often in these things the falls last about 2 minutes each and are completely unrealistic when you compare them to normal wrestling matches. Having the shortest be seven and a half minutes made this far better. Also anything that keeps Chavo and Hernandez off my screen is a good thing.

We’ll wrap it up with their battle after the inevitable split. Young has since figured out that Park is Abyss, because that somehow took over a year to discover. From Impact, February 6, 2014.

Eric Young vs. Abyss

This is Monster’s Ball, meaning anything goes. They’re fighting in the back with Young actually in control and bringing Abyss through the entrance. Abyss comes back with a big right hand and some forearms to the back and the opening bell rings. Young crawls over to a trashcan full of weapons and blasts Abyss in the back with a pipe to get the advantage, only to have Abyss backdrop him on the floor. It’s table time but Young hits a quick dropkick to get a breather.

Young goes for the mast but Abyss slams him into the apron to get a breather. They head inside for the first time with Eric coming off the top, only to jump right into Abyss’ hands. A hard clothesline drops Young again and Abyss goes outside to get a chair. The chair is placed on Eric’s ribs but he manages to turn it on its side to crotch a charging Abyss. Eric is sent into the corner and out to the apron where he comes back with a missile dropkick for two.

Just as Eric gets some momentum he gets sent face first into the chair in the corner and a chokeslam gets two. Abyss goes outside and gets his bag of tacks before loading up a superplex, only to have Young counter with a sunset powerbomb into the tacks for two. Eric goes up top but Abyss punches him off the top rope and out through the table in a huge crash. Back in and Young somehow gets his foot on the ropes to break the pin so Abyss pulls out the big weapon: Janice, the baseball bat full of nails. Young rips the mask off to save himself and reveal Joseph Park, earning himself the Black Hole Slam for the pin at 9:41.

Rating: B-. That might be a bit high but I was digging this match. It wasn’t the best hardcore match I’ve ever seen or anywhere close to it but Young was working well out there. I can tolerate him much more easily when he’s not being over the top and stupid which is what we got here. Abyss is a fun character too as there’s something awesome about a guy who just breaks stuff.

Abyss is a guy that has found his niche as TNA’s hardcore guy, but there’s a much more interesting character hidden beneath all the scars. He’s gone from being a monster to a complex character to a lawyer to the same old character he was before. There’s still a benefit to having him there but he relies on doing the same stuff over and over again.

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