Sacrifice 2007
Date: May 13, 2007
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

This is a very interesting show and it’s a pretty important show in company history. The NWA has basically thrown TNA out because the NWA is really stupid and thinks those three letters are enough to carry them. Therefore, the titles aren’t officially the NWA world/tag titles anymore and I don’t think there are physical belts. The NWA bailed because they’re stupid, so the main event is for the world title with Christian vs. Sting vs. Angle. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how we praise wrestlers like gods even though they’re just humans. They have drive though which is why they’re better than us.

All of the title matches are in triple threat matches tonight. Just what I wanted.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Jay Lethal

Sabin is champion. Sonjay is jealous because Lethal has been getting the attention when they’re both around Nash. The fans like Lethal. Sabin immediately gets psychological on them, dropping to the mat. Dutt goes for the cover and Lethal says not so fast my friend, channeling his inner Corso. They argue for a bit and then the double teaming begins. That doesn’t last long as they keep arguing. The story here is obvious: they both want the title so they can’t work together.

The times they do work together are pretty solid though, including one instance where they throw him over the top rope to the floor, where he bounces off the concrete and into the railing. The two good guys fly around a bit without making any violent contact. Translation: it’s more like a dance recital than a match. Dutt grabs a one armed camel clutch but Sabin runs back in for a seated dropkick to Lethal’s face.

Sabin and Dutt seem to form a bond so they do the same thing that just happened, but Dutt dropkicks Sabin this time. Cute spot. Sabin takes over and makes the faces miss before hitting a headscissors/tornado DDT combo with Lethal taking the storm-themed move. Dutt is sent to the floor and Sabin hammers on Lethal a bit. Dutt breaks that up with a sweet looking reverse 619 to the leg kind of move.

Lethal goes up and hits a top rope double axe to the floor on Sabin. Dutt tops that with a big old Asai Moonsault to the floor. Back in, Sabin can’t get a top rope rana and Dutt half kills Lethal with a middle rope missile dropkick. There’s a new TNA mascot named Stomper, who I think is a crab. I wonder if he’s Mongolian. Dutt tries to take over but Lethal takes him down, only to have Lethal get knocked down by Sabin. Why am I so chatty in this review? I haven’t written this much in less than 15 minutes of a show in I don’t know how long.

Everyone is down now, presumably due to needing a chance to breathe. Dutt speeds things way up and hits a springboard seated senton (called a Thesz Press by Tenay) to Lethal for two. Sabin takes over again and puts them both in the corner with Dutt looking like he’s in a Styles Clash position from Lethal. Lethal’s hair has kind of exploded and you can see where going to the braided hair was the best thing he could have done.

The fans are split between Lethal and Sabin. What’s with the anti-Indian stance of the fans? Sue them for racism!!! Standing enziguri to Sabin, making him look like he’s having a seizure, or that he’s Elvis. Not sure which but either way a superkick puts him down. A release dragon suplex puts Dutt on the floor and the top rope elbow gets two as Dutt makes a late save (he hit Lethal in the ankle. How does that break up a pin?).

Lethal Combination gets two as Dutt dives off the top with the 450 for the save. He can’t pin either guy but he made up for the weak save a minute ago at least. This match is pretty freaking awesome if you couldn’t tell based on what I’m saying. The good guys get in another argument, allowing Sabin to roll up Dutt (I think with tights) for the pin to retain. Lethal would get the belt next month.

Rating: B. Very fun opener here. This wasn’t about being technically sound, but rather about being all over the place and incredibly entertaining, which is exactly what they did here. Dutt vs. Lethal went on for like a year and it never was all that good. Fun match here, although I have a feeling the rest of the show isn’t going to be able to top it, which isn’t good.

Lethal and Dutt brawl post match until Nash comes out for the save. Dutt kicks Nash in the leg and runs.

Roodes doesn’t want to talk about Eric Young. Instead he says Jeff Jarrett is nothing compared to him. Jarrett is going to make Roode tonight.

Nash comes up to the announce table and says he’ll take care of Sonjay on Thursday.

We run down the card to fill some time.

VKM was at a meet and greet earlier today with fans when Basham/Damaja attacked them. Roadie was injured due to getting his head slammed into the floor so tonight it’s a handicap match.

We recap Jarrett vs. Roode. Jarrett hadn’t been around since losing to Sting at Bound For Glory, which was mainly due to his wife being sick, resulting in her death ten days after this show. Jarrett had come back at Lockdown and then was revealed as Eric Young’s friend who was helping Young after he was signed by Roode.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Robert Roode

Brooks is in a neck brace due to something not important enough to be explained to us. Big ovation for Jarrett. Roode runs up the aisle as the pyro is still going and jumps Jeff before the bell. A piledriver on the floor is of course countered because it would, you know, cripple Jarrett. We get the opening bell and Jeff hammers away and struts. Brooks trips Jarrett up and we head to the floor again.

Jeff is sent into the steps and we hear about how Jeff might be a bit off tonight because this is his first singles match in over six months. Backslide gets two for Jarrett but Roode stops his momentum with a lariat. Roode goes up and jumps into a boot which was an annoying trend he had during this heel run. We look at the mascot again (instead of Brooks who is, you know, not an animal) and Jeff hits a powerslam for two. Off to a sleeper which doesn’t last long.

Roode hooks a bad figure four (doesn’t even deserve to be capitalized) and Jarrett doesn’t really sell it for awhile. Roode tries it again with a Jarrett mimic in there but Jeff rolls him up for two. A double clothesline puts both guys down. Traci jumps up and down and I lose my train of thought. Jarrett wins a brief slugout and takes over with a low blow which isn’t a DQ for no apparent reason. Roode gets slammed off the top and now Jarrett hooks the Figure Four in what I guess you can call a Flair Double Shot.

Traci grabs the referee (lucky) while Roode taps. Jarrett is a good guy in this match so he lets go of the hold because he’s an idiot. Roode rips a buckle pad off but both guys block shots into the steel. Now Roode is going for the knee for some reason. Oh yeah that alleged figure four earlier. He wraps Jarrett’s leg around the post and brings in a chair. The referee tries to grab it which the referee releases to send it into Roode’s head in a HORRIBLE looking shot. Stroke gets two as Brooks saves, only to get her sent to the back.

The referee takes her to the back for some reason, allowing Roode to hit a handcuff shot to the head for a very delayed two. Roode brings in a guitar but the referee steals it. Stroke is attempted but Roode counters into a fisherman’s suplex attempt which is countered into a Figure Four attempt which is countered into a kick into the steel exposed earlier. That’s enough for the Payoff (fisherman’s) to end it.

Rating: B+. This show is DRILLING it tonight as we get our second awesome match of the night. The ending was full of some awesome back and forth counters and the ending actually played off something earlier in the match. That’s all you can ask for at times and we got a great match out of it. Good stuff again.

Roode sets for a guitar shot but gets caught in the Figure Four again. Traci bounces out to hit Jarrett with the guitar but Young comes in for the save, putting Traci in a Figure Four of his own.

Christian is having a victory party despite not wrestling for about two hours. He still has the NWA Title here. He says all of Team Cage is going to win tonight. Tomko isn’t here yet and Steiner, his partner later, isn’t happy. AJ says he’ll take care of Joe later.

Christopher Daniels vs. Rhyno

There’s no backstory here that I know of. Daniels was channeling Sting or something, complete with mask, and Rhyno is the next victim I believe. All Rhyno to start as he runs over Daniels with power move after power move. Daniels gets up top but jumps into a belly to belly but he avoids the Gore. The fans aren’t sure who they like best here. Daniels misses a baseball slide but Rhyno misses a pescado. Not often you see a horned man fly. Then again it’s not often that you see a horned man.

Daniels sends him into the post to take over even more as we enter the heel dominance portion of our selection this evening. It appears to be the shoulder that’s hurt, so Daniels sends it into the barricade. Daniels works on the arm a lot, which is so evil and satanic of him isn’t it? Rhyno grabs a backbreaker to finally get some relief for his shoulder. Powerslam gets two.

STO gets two for Daniels. Spinebuster gets the same for Rhyno. This isn’t quite as good as the rest of the matches on the show tonight if you couldn’t tell. Daniels grabs a Koji Clutch which is shifted into the smarter cross armbreaker. Rhyno manages to get to a rope before he started thinking of Del Rio and fell asleep. BME misses and Rhyno hits something like a TKO for two. Daniels hammers away on him but Rhyno snaps off a Gore, which the announcers call a shoulder for no apparent reason. It gets two due to a boot on the ropes. Daniels goes to the floor where he picks up a ball bat and whacks Rhyno with it for the pin.

Rating: C. Yeah not as good as the other stuff but still, pretty decent stuff here that could have been a solid TV match which is ok on a PPV I think. The arm work made sense because that was his Gore arm, but I’d have liked the ball bat shot to have been to the arm instead of the head, which looked ridiculous and sounded even worse. Still though, this was fine.

Just to further the eye rolling aspect of the ending, Rhyno is up about 100 seconds after being hit over the head with a baseball bat by a professional athlete. He says he’s going to take Daniels out and goes after him. After a brief chat with the announcers we see Daniels coming back down the ramp with blood covering his face. Rhyno follows a few seconds later with a chair and my goodness he must have hit him hard. There couldn’t be any other possibility like a razor blade or makeup right?

Rhyno sets for a Rhyno Driver onto two chairs but security finally comes in to break it up. Shame too because it would have been awesome looking. West wanted to see the Driver.

We recap VKM vs. Basham/Danaja. VKM wanted Christy Hemme to sleep with them to get ahead and she said no, which set off a fairly long feud, resulting in her bringing in a bunch of teams to face them. It would wind up being the Rock N Rave Infection but until them we’re stuck with the Bashams.

Kip says he’s on his own tonight and that’s cool.

Kip James vs. Basham/Damaja

Damaja starts and Kip fires away quickly, as is common in handicap matches. Fameasser misses and it’s off to Basham. The heels (I think) take over and beat Kip down as Basham hooks a cravate. Kip fights back but walks into a chokebomb (Brain Damage) and a top rope headbutt from Basham ends this.

Rating: D. I guess every show has to have one bad match. This was pretty much nothing as Road Dogg couldn’t be there. To be fair though, it’s not like the match they had the next month was any better at all. This was just a bad match and the walking definition of a popcorn break match. The best match on the show (allegedly) is up next though so I’m cool with that.

Kip gets beaten down again post match until Lance Hoyt finally gets there to make the save.

We recap Storm vs. Harris, which is due to Storm turning heel on Harris and breaking a beer bottle over his eye. The result is a Texas Death Match between a guy from Tennessee and a guy from Kentucky being held in Florida.

Harris says Storm only had to say he wanted to end the team but instead he tried to end Harris’ career with a beer bottle. This has been about revenge and payback. It’s been about revenge before but now it’s about payback.

Chris Harris vs. James Storm

This is a Texas Death Match, which is last man standing but you have to get a pin or submission before the ten count begins. Both guys are in street clothes. In a cool visual, Harris rips up an AMW shirt on his way to the ring. This feels like it’s going to be awesome which is a very good sign. They slug it out in the aisle and Harris has the trademark handcuffs.

They go into the crowd almost immediately and Storm is running away. They’re in the back row of the arena and Storm is almost thrown over the wall in the back. I wonder what’s back there. Maybe it’s where they keep Shark Boy? All Harris so far as they head to the ring. Storm throws a drink in Harris’ face to shift momentum but Storm gets thrown into a wall to changes things right back again.

Harris is in the ring alone and has a beer and a chair. Storm is still over the railing so Harris hits a HUGE dive over the railing to kill Storm dead and gets a pin. Storm is up at 8 though. Harris goes up again but Storm knocks him off and gets his leg tied up in the ropes so that he’s in a Tree of Woe but hanging outside the ropes. Storm cracks him with a chair to the head and Harris is busted.

It’s Table Time as Harris is placed on the top rope. He avoids a hurricanrana and counters a sunset flip (???) into a Sharpshooter of all things. Well it takes out the legs so that makes sense. He can’t get it on so he kicks Storm in the balls. He catapults Storm face first into the bottom of the table, cutting him open on the metal part. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Harris can’t suplex him through the table so Storm kicks him low to balance things out.

Storm hits the Eye of the Storm to put Harris through the table. That looked awesome and it gets an academic pin but only gets nine. Here’s another table brought in by the Cowboy. He falls down trying to get it in though, probably due to blood loss. The table is on the outside but Storm can’t hit another Eye over the top. Harris goes to the apron and gets caught in an Elevated DDT for no cover.

Storm brings in various basic hardcore weapons but as he’s getting in himself, Harris spears him through the ropes to put him through the table. Not exactly Foley vs. Edge but not bad. Back in, Harris picks up a chair and Storm superkicks it into his face for two. Storm is STUNNED. You can’t see Storm’s face. It’s literally a crimson mask. They trade HARD trashcan lid shots and Harris hits the Catatonic (spinning Rock Bottom) onto a trashcan for two.

Now the match gets taken down a peg because Jackie Freaking Moore has to get involved. WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS HAVE A JOB??? She isn’t attractive, she’s nothing special in the ring, she’s always getting in the way, and NO ONE FREAKING CARES ABOUT HER. And if you say you do, you’re lying. Gail Kim comes out and cuffs her so she can drag her out of here. Both guys have beer bottles and Harris gets a shot to the head of Storm for the pin and the ten count. Perfect way to end it.

Rating: A. GREAT brawl and war here which is exactly what they needed to do. Tenay and West freak out and say how great it is and for once this year, they’re right. This was a blood war and Storm’s face is absolutely scary given how much blood there was on it. Great match and absolutely worth seeing based on the level of violence here.

Sting yells at Daniels about how he doesn’t have this right. Daniels says he has it absolutely right and leaves. Sting yells about Angle and says he’ll win the title tonight.

We get a highlight package of the Death Match.

Jerry Lynn vs. Alex Shelly vs. Senshi vs. Tiger Mask IV

He’s just called Tiger Mask here so we’ll go with that. Two in the ring at a time and we start with Senshi vs. Lynn. It’s one fall to a finish also. Lynn tries a crucifix but Senshi rolls down the back and misses a foot stomp. Lynn hooks an inverted spinning Gory Special and then they hit the mat. Jerry grabs an armbar but Senshi gets into a cross armbreaker on the ropes.

Shelly tags himself in and works on Lynn’s arm to a big reaction. Lynn speeds things up again and takes over on Shelley’s arm. Here’s Tiger Mask and Shelly bails almost immediately. Senshi gets him instead and Tiger Mask takes over. Everybody keeps tagging themselves in so there’s almost no way to keep track of who is legal and what is going on. A standing moonsault gets two for Mask on Shelley.

Everything breaks down and I’m really not even going to try to keep track of it. Lynn’s cradle piledriver is broken up as is the Tiger suplex to Senshi. Lynn hits a sunset flip to something like a Tower of Doom minus the Tower aspect and most of the Doom aspect. Still though, it looked cool and got two. A TKO gets two on Mask and Shelly puts Lynn on the top rope. Senshi dives onto the corner and tries….something that looks like a brainbuster off the top Shelly makes a save. Shelly tries a top rope rana but gets countered into a sunset flip by Lynn for the three count.

Rating: C. It’s fun and flashy but it’s nothing I’m going to want to see again. This is far from what the first one earlier in the night was but they were trying. Also this is a great match to throw out there to give the fans a breather after the big bloodbath we saw with the AMW explosion. It’s not bad but it’s really not my style.

The Guns beat down Lynn post match until Backlund makes the save.

We recap the tag title match. Team 3D beat LAX for the belts and giving them more or less every tag title ever and their 20th title overall.

Tomko says he can’t go over strategy with Steiner because Steiner is nuts and Steiner has right to call him out because he has stuff to do.

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. Scott Steiner/Tomko vs. LAX

So Tomko and Steiner don’t get along and are here….because I guess, and LAX are the guys Team 3D beat to get the titles. After almost a minute of arguing we get Homicide vs. Steiner to start us off. Power vs. speed obviously and Homicide can only run so long before he gets caught. Ray tags himself in and sneaks up on Steiner for a pretty awesome German release.

Homicide comes back in and hits half a dropkick to both Immortal members. He and Steiner team up to beat on Ray which is about as odd of a pairing as you’ll find this side of Alex Shelly and Abyss. Ray kicks Homicide’s head off and it’s off to D-Von vs. Tomko. D-Von powerslams him down and SuperMex comes in via the slingshot shoulder. A Thesz Press by D-Von gets the fans behind the champions.

And never mind as LAX double teams him right back down to take over again. Steiner comes in and drops the elbow and the push-ups. Ray breaks up the cover and does push-ups of his own in a funny bit. He and Homicide get into it as D-Von keeps getting beaten down, in this case by Hernandez. Henandez does that always cool backflip to the top rope and seemingly botches a top rope splash to D-Von for two. His leg kind of landed on D-Von’s head which has to freaking hurt.

In a smart move, Tomko breaks up the pin and pulls Hernandez, not D-Von, back to his corner so that Tomko can tag himself in and get a piece of the weakened D-Von. Man, when did Tomko get so smart? It doesn’t really work though as D-Von hits a tornado DDT to break the momentum. I see why Tomko rarely used logic. LAX comes in to stop the tag but D-Von rolls under then and tags Bubba in a nice move.

Ray throws Hernandez out and brings Homicide in. Go after the smaller guys I guess. That’s very bullyish of him. Everything breaks down as is customary in these matches. Steiner suplexes D-Von so Hernandez destroys Steiner with a backbreaker. Ray cleans house and What’s Up Homicide? The fans want tables but Hernandez dives over the top to take out D-Von. Steiner and Tomko beat up Homicide but Homicide rolls through a Doomsday Device for two. Tomko and Steiner get into it but beat up Bubba a bit. Double teaming fails though and a 3D from 3D beats Tomko.

Rating: C+. Pretty basic triple threat here but it worked well enough. The Dudleys needed a win to establish themselves (for some reason) so this did that well enough. The Steiner/Tomko issue will be made clear in a bit. Tomko I think would go on to team with AJ and hold the tag titles for about six months after this so he did well enough. Also they would be the TNA Tag Titles here before to long.

Tomko attacks Steiner post match until Rick Steiner comes out for the save. They would team together for like three PPVs in a row against the Dudleys.

Angle is in Sting’s freaky area. He says Sting goes to Wal-Mart before all of his matches to buy facepaint so he can look like Ronald McDonald. What kind of creepy McDonald’s does Angle frequent? Angle says kill the effects, because once you do that, it’s just like Sting: nothing special. He’s a wrestler but Sting is nothing but a cartoon character. When Kurt Angle is calling you a cartoon character, you must be pretty messed up.

We recap AJ vs. Joe. This is another byproduct of Angle vs. Cage, as if they needed a reason to run this match.

AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe

They’re treating this like a brand new match for some reason. I mean they’re not saying they’ve never met before, but they’re acting like this is an unheard of pairing. They exchange early control and Joe hits an enziguri in the corner to rattle Styles. Both guys try to speed things up but AJ misses a charge and goes to the floor where Joe hits the suicide elbow to send AJ into the crowd.

AJ gets knocked into the barricade and complains of a bad arm/elbow. Since AJ is a heel here he’s playing possum and pokes Joe in the eye. Why did they think this guy needed Flair again? Out to the floor again and Joe tries the Ole Kick but AJ gets out of the way. Back inside and AJ hits his drop down into the dropkick spot. That always looks so smooth, probably due to his using it in every match.

Joe grabs an atomic drop but a boot misses and AJ spin kicks him down for two. A release German buys some time for the fat Samoan. They slug it out and speed it up but Joe hits an overhead belly to belly and senton backsplash for two. AJ pulls the front of Joe’s trunks down to ram him into the corner and OH MY GOODNESS MY EYES!!!! I….I think I saw thong. What did I do to AJ to deserve that? I rate his matches well enough!

Springboard forearm looks to give AJ the advantage but the backflip into the reverse DDT fails also. The second attempt works better but it’s only good for two. He can’t hit the Clash and walks into a Death Valley Driver for two. Joe gets sent to the floor and may have messed the knee up. Back inside Joe kicks him in the face but can’t charge at Styles in the corner. AJ loads up the Spiral Tap but Joe was playing some serious possum, which AJ had been doing lately. Styles looks terrified so Joe locks in the Clutch and suplexes him over with it for the pin.

Rating: B-. Definitely one of their weaker matches but still very decent stuff. AJ just doesn’t work as a heel. It’s like trying to fight the Easter Bunny: you can try all you want, but it’s not there at the end of the day. This was very back and forth but was more like Joe getting revenge than being in any danger, which isn’t really all that great. Still though, Joe vs. AJ is always worth taking a look at.

We recap the world title match. This really spun off from Team Cage vs. Team Angle at Lockdown where Christian is kind of ducking Angle but he’s finally getting a shot tonight. Sting is here because….well because he’s Sting and he’s always in the title picture. I think he had lost it to Abyss and Christian won it from him so this is officially Sting’s rematch. Oh ok Jarrett got the fall in Lethal Lockdown and gave the title shot he won to Sting. Christian is playing them against each other.

NWA World Title; Sting vs. Christian Cage vs. Kurt Angle

Christian comes in as champion as we’ve already covered. Angle has only been here for awhile so he hasn’t been champion yet, making this a potentially huge night. The fans aren’t sure who they like but Sting seems to be solidly in third place. Christian is sent to the floor for the big showdown. I think the Canadian is the only heel in this. Angle takes over on Sting but goes to the floor. Sting beats on Christian outside and the fans seem more behind Christian than anyone else.

Angle vs. Christian in the ring now. Kurt is sent shoulder first into the post and it’s back to Sting vs. the Canadian. Sting actually hits the big elbow drop after a gorilla press. I don’t think I ever remember seeing that. A Vader Bomb of all things gets two. Angle pops back up and pulls Sting to the floor for an Angle Slam (called a suplex by Tenay) on the ramp. So now it’s Christian vs. Angle as the revolving door style of this match continues.

Sting starts getting back up so Christian hammers him right back down. That’s not very nice and I think he should send him a polite handwritten note of apology. Christian slaps Angle resulting in the American hitting a bunch of Germans on the Canadian. He’s at eight so far. Somehow that only gets two for Angle. As if that wasn’t enough for the champion, Sting puts Christian on the top and Angle runs up for a German to make a Tower of Doom, sending Christian flying.

Angle Slam and Unprettier are both countered so Christian goes up. Sting throws Angle into the ropes to crotch the champ. Christian falls forward and Angle is put in front of him for a Stinger Splash. The Death Drop gets two on Angle as Christian pulls the referee out. Scorpion is countered into the ankle lock but Christian saves.

Scratch the saving part as they’re both put in an ankle lock at the same time. They counter out and Sting hits a Rock Bottom on Christian (that’s a new one) but there’s no referee. Another referee comes out and Sting rolls Christian up. Angle grabs Sting’s ankle though and it’s a pin/tap at the same time.

Rating: B-. Good main event but it ran less than eleven minutes which really hurts it. The ending of course got thrown out for a Dusty Finish because Angle winning the world title had to be done twice right? It set up the King of the Mountain match next month which was better than this but not by much. This desperately needed about five more minutes and it would have been far better.

Overall Rating: A-. I REALLY liked this show and it’s easily one of the best that TNA has ever done. There’s a great match in the Death Match and the only really bad match is the handicap which is understandable. Good stuff although a longer main event and the show not ending in a Dusty Finish would have raised it up even higher. I liked it a lot and it’s probably the top TNA show I can think of. Great show.

 

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Monday Nitro #119
Date: December 22, 1997
Location: Macon Coliseum, Macon, Georgia
Attendance: 7,615
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

Amazingly enough, we’re actually at the go home show for Starrcade. This is yet another three hour show which would become the norm soon after this. The wrestling on this episode means nothing at all, due to a certain segment at the end of the first hour which overshadows everything else we would see in the ring on this show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a paid announcement from the NWO. Actually it’s just Bischoff, who talks for several minutes about what he’s going to do to Larry at Starrcade. In short, he’s going to humiliate Zbyszko and take Nitro as a result. Well he certainly did humiliate Larry but not for the reasons Eric is talking about here.

Fit Finlay vs. Eddie Guerrero

Apparently this is the arena where Hall jumped the guard rail over a year and a half ago. The fans are all over Eddie to start as he begs for mercy. Guerrero pops up and kicks at Finlay’s knee to take him down. A slingshot hilo onto the leg has Finlay in big trouble early on. Actually scratch that as Finlay pops back up and pounds on Eddie without so much as a shake of the leg. Finlay drops Eddie throat first on the top rope before hitting a hard kick to the back for no cover.

Eddie is catapulted into the ropes so he can crash down onto Finlay’s knees before the Irishman pounds away with forearms in the corner. A hard clothesline puts Eddie down and Finlay rams Guerrero’s face into the side of the ring a few times. Back in and a hard boot to Eddie’s face puts him down but Eddie goes back to the knee which suddenly hurts again. A dropkick to the knee puts Finlay down again but goes up top, only to be caught and superplexed back down. Finlay loads up the tombstone but Eddie bails to the floor…and walks out for the countout.

Rating: C. Surprising lack of selling from Finlay aside, this wasn’t a bad match at all. The ending makes sense in a way as Eddie has a title defense on Sunday and wouldn’t want to waste his energy before then. Finlay was an interesting character as he would disappear for months on end before returning and getting a pretty big match like this out of nowhere.

Steve McMichael vs. Meng

Please….make it short. This is as a result of the match that didn’t happen last week. Mongo wins an early slugout and hits a corner clothesline. The slugout was so interesting the first time so let’s do it again a few seconds later. Meng tries a charge into the corner but eats a boot. However since he’s a savage and obeying ethnic stereotypes, it has no effect. A powerslam gets two on Mongo and a piledriver gets the same.

Meng goes up top for a splash but picks McMichael up at two. Dude, I watched you for like fifteen years and THIS is what I get in return? Mongo bails to the floor and finds the dreaded wooden chair. As usual it gets destroyed over Meng’s head (not a DQ for no apparent reason) to no effect (also as usual), so Mongo instead tombstones him for the pin.

Rating: D. In a weird way, Mongo is fascinating to watch. He had been around for a year and a half at this point and is somehow getting worse over time. That’s really quite amazing given the talent he’s been in there against. I know Meng isn’t exactly Lou Thesz, but he’s a veteran who can get someone through a basic match. Mongo looked completely lost here though and it’s painful to sit through anymore.

Page talks about being ready for the title match with Hennig, where the champion will feel the bang.

La Parka/Silver King/Psychosis vs. Hector Garza/Rey Mysterio Jr./Juventud Guerrera

The four man version worked so well last week that we get the traditional six man version this week. This is under lucha libre rules again, meaning if you go to the floor it’s the same as a tag. La Parka is in the alternate white attire tonight which really stands out in the ring. Garza and Silver King get us going and they immediately bust out the flips with almost no contact being made at all. Garza hits a spinning wristlock off the top to take King down but it’s off to Juvy for a big springboard missile dropkick.

Psychosis comes in and pounds Guerrera down as the match slows way down. He wants Rey Mysterio but instead we get Raven’s Flock arriving. Juvy speeds things up with a headscissors and an attempted reverse rana, only to land on the back of his head in a scary looking semi-botch. Psychosis misses a charge and hits the post shoulder first, allowing Guerrera to make the hot tag to Rey. Mysterio takes Psychosis out to the floor and sends La Parka into Silver King. La Parka comes back but missses a backsplash as everyone starts going up.

Rey cross bodies Silver King to the floor and La Parka dropkicks Psychosis to the floor for some reason. Juvy uses Garza as a springboard for Air Juvy to take Psychosis out again and there’s a suicide dive by La Parka to take out Juvy and break the chair he was sitting in. Why he was sitting in a chair I’m not sure but it doesn’t matter as Garza hits the corkscrew plancha to take out Psychosis and La Parka. Back in the ring and Rey puts Silver King on top for a reverse rana followed by the yet to be named West Coast Pop for the pin.

Rating: B. It’s hard not to love these things as there’s no need for a story of any kind of psychology to them. They’re quick and exciting with six interchangeable guys going out there and doing all kinds of insane spots. WCW never tried to make these matches anything more than that and it would have been stupid to try. Fun stuff here, as always.

Mysterio seemed to hurt his left knee on the reverse rana and is holding it post match.

Chris Benoit vs. Hammer

Benoit’s run through the Flock continues but there’s no Raven again. Chris asks the rest of the Flock to get in the ring because Hammer is going to need all the help he can get. A quick dropkick to Hammer’s knee takes him down and Benoit chops away in the corner. Hammer is kicked to the floor and Benoit takes him down with a dive through the ropes. Benoit goes over and smacks Saturn in the head, allowing Hammer to take over with some sledges to the back. Hammer knocks him back to the floor but gets whipped into the apron. Benoit gets a chair and here comes the Flock for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but again this was about storytelling rather than the match. They’ve done a great job at setting up Benoit vs. Raven when it finally would happen, which for some reason wasn’t at Starrcade. Either way, this feud is making Benoit look like a star.

Post match Benoit is put in the Rings of Saturn again.

It’s time for the start of the infamous segment. Rude, Bagwell, Konnan and Vincent take over the announce table and run off the announcers. Bagwell then goes over to the cameramen and make them say they’re NWO and put on the shirts. The rest of the crew is made to put on the shirts too, including the guys in the back. Various WCW signs are taken down as Konnan goes into the production truck and makes everyone put on a shirt.

The big metal WCW letters on either side of the entrance are taken down, as is the WCW sign over the entrance. By the way, there is no resistance to this by any security or WCW wrestlers. To be fair though, I’d be terrified by a guy who can’t wrestle anymore, a career jobber, a low level tag team and Konnan. The commentary booth now has a sign that says NWO Monday Nitro. The fans are rapidly getting restless and it’s easy to see why. We’re at seven minutes of this already and now they’re heading to the ring.

Buff runs off the ring announcer and makes the WCW banners in the rafters NWO banners. We take a break and come back with the letters NWO spray painted on the mat. Rude demands and receives some lame fireworks as the NWO all stops to look at the NWO signs. A fairly big NWO sign is lowered from the ceiling as this has been going on nearly fifteen minutes now.

There’s an actual NWO Monday Nitro intro video and the graphic in the corner says NWO Monday Nitro. Good thing they had those graphics ready and loaded into the truck on a moment’s notice like that.

Here’s Bischoff on his motorcycle to FINALLY do something more than have the fans sit around and watch people do construction work. He brings out the entire NWO as this segment somehow keeps going. Even Nash and Hogan are here this week so you know it’s a big deal. Eric says tonight is Hogan’s night so he’s going to get some Christmas gifts.

First of all, Bischoff dedicates the show to Hogan and literally bows down to him. His first gift: NWO leaflets falling from the ceiling. Now he gets a motorcycle. Then he gets a second motorcycle. Then he gets a LONG open top limousine with built in hot tub and his own set of Nitro Girls. Bischoff promises even MORE gifts for him later because this hasn’t gone on long enough yet.

In total, all this stuff took about half an hour. Literally, it was half an hour of construction work and Hogan receiving gifts. No stories, no action, no matches, nothing. The viewers left in droves for this segment, to the point where Raw actually won the second hour because they were having ANYTHING but this going on.

JJ Dillon tells Rick Steiner he doesn’t have to go out there but Rick wants to.

The NWO sign is actually a big cube sitting in front of the entrance.

Rick Steiner vs. Scott Norton

Bischoff, Nash and Rude have taken over commentary. Rick hits a quick Steiner Line but gets caught by a shoulder block to put him down. They quickly go to the floor with Steiner being rammed into the post and pounded down with CLUBBING, yes CLUBBING I SAY forearms to the back. Back in and they trade clotheslines with Steiner taking over and dropping an elbow. Rick puts him on top for a belly to belly superplex but they TOTALLY screw it up with Rick basically just falling down and Norton landing on top of him. Before they can screw anything else up, Konnan runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D. I’m not sure whose fault that botch was but when a Steiner is having trouble with a suplex, it’s time to throw in the towel on the match. Norton continues to be a guy that WCW protects like no other and I’m still not sure why. I know he’s a bigger deal in Japan, but Jericho beat Chono on Nitro and I’m sure Chono is a bigger deal than Norton. Anyway, terrible match.

Post match Scott Steiner and Ray Traylor run out for the save, setting up a six man on Sunday.

Nash thinks Giant is going to retire and become a Nitro Girl instead of facing him on Sunday.

US Title: Disco Inferno vs. Curt Hennig

Disco is challenging here but he’s TV Champion. Hogan’s limo and motorcycles are still in the aisle. The name graphics are now vertical on the side of the screen instead of horizontal on the bottom like they usually are. Curt runs him over a few times to start before hitting a pair of dropkicks to send Disco out to the floor. Hennig pounds away on the floor before throwing Disco back in to continue the beating. Disco fires off some right hands but charges into a boot in the corner. Hennig knees him in the head and rakes Disco’s eye and toys with him a bit more until the Hennigplex ends the torture.

Rating: D. Was there ANY need for this to be the TV Champion? Brad Armstrong wasn’t available tonight? Disco has been on a roll lately but instead of letting him continue that and make the TV Champion look good, we have to see Hennig pick him apart because Hennig is part of the NWO and therefore awesome.

Heenan comes out to being hour #3 by begging to be allowed back on the commentary booth. He sucks up to Nash and Bischoff and is allowed back in before Bischoff gets a headache.

Harlem Heat vs. Scotty Riggs/Lodi

Heenan is offering to buy Rude dinner to prevent pain and agony. They stand around for a long time to start until it’s Booker vs. Riggs. Mike Tenay joins in on commentary again to give us Bobby, Mike and Rick. Booker easily takes down Riggs and they trade wristlocks. Scotty takes him down with a dropkick to give the Flock its only advantage of the match, but Booker spin kicks him down with ease. Off to Stevie Ray who misses an elbow and it’s off to Lodi for the first time ever.

Ray immediately clotheslines him down as the punishment continues. A backbreaker keeps Lodi down and it’s off to Booker for the ax kick. The Heat hit a double suplex for two before Stevie chokes with his knee. A bicycle kick gets two on Lodi as the Heat are barely breaking a sweat here. Stevie hits what would become known as the AA as Riggs walks out on his partner. The Big Apple Blast (Hart Attack with a side kick from Booker instead of a clothesline) ends this massacre.

Rating: D. Unless you’re a big fan of Harlem Heat, there’s no need to see this match. It felt like they were intentionally filling in time with nothing special at all. Harlem Heat didn’t even have a match on the upcoming PPV yet they get a ten minute segment here to destroy a pair of jobbers? That doesn’t do much for me.

Buff Bagwell vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho immediately backdrops Bagwell to the apron and hits the springboard dropkick to knock Bagwell to the outside. A kick to the head has Buff in trouble but he manages to take down Jericho as the Canadian comes back in. Jericho is knocked to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Bagwell taking over after a brief slugout so he can choke away a bit more. Jericho charges into a boot in the corner and it’s time for the chinlock.

The announcers of course suck up to Bagwell because we have to make sure that every NWO guy on the team looks as amazing as they can. Jericho fights up and dropkicks Bagwell a few times before getting a near fall off a powerslam. Bagwell pounds him down again and goes up top, only to miss an elbow. Jericho tries a rana (I think) but they just collide and Jericho comes straight down instead of doing anything to Bagwell. After a double underhook backbreaker, Jericho looks for a superplex, only to be shoved down and hit with the Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D. ANOTHER lame match tonight with notable botches on moves that shouldn’t be that hard to pull off. Also another match here with a guy with nothing to do on Sunday and a guy in a match no one cares about on Sunday, but hey he’s in the NWO so we must be interested in him right?

Bagwell knocks out the referee for fun.

Here’s the NWO again because we need to give Hogan more presents. Bischoff gives him a ring (make your own jokes) shaped like the WCW Title and various posters to commemorate major moments in his career. That’s another six minutes I’ll never get back.

Lex Luger vs. Randy Savage

Savage comes in like a crazy man (perfect for the role) and gets beaten down as a result. A hard clothesline in the corner has Luger in control but he charges into Savage’s boot to put him down. Savage pounds away and chokes a lot before sending Luger to the floor. Luger goes face first into the steps but blocks a shot into the barricade.

Lex throws him into the crowd for a quick beating before we head back inside, where the referee is bumped by Luger’s steel forearm. Savage hides behind Liz as Luger makes his big comeback and of course here’s the NWO, led by Bagwell, for the big beatdown. The big elbow ends Luger in a worthless match.

Rating: D+. I’m trying to like some of these matches but they’re not making it easy on me. Luger and Savage fought on and over for years and the matches were only good once in awhile. The best I can make of this is they wanted Bagwell to cost Luger a match here to give Luger a reason to want to beat him on Sunday, again working on the assumption that anyone cares about Buff Bagwell.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff YET AGAIN to finally close things out. Hogan talks about how many people he’s beaten over the years and how Sting is going to be stung, but there’s another gift for Hollywood. Eric says this isn’t from him and here’s Bret Hart in the limo. Hogan opens the box to reveal….a Hogan head. Sting shows up on top of the NWO sign at the entrance and ziplines down to the ring to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. I’ve seen a lot of dull go home shows before, but this one was absolutely horrible. This show barely promoted Starrcade at all and was all about the NWO taking over Nitro. I’ve read rumors before that the NWO was originally going to get Nitro but this show was such a ratings disaster that the plans were changed to WCW keeping it. That’s how big of a flop this show was, but I guess since so many people had already been sold on Starrcade that it didn’t make much of a difference.

Here’s Starrcade if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/02/03/starrcade-1997-the-death-of-wcw/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 9, 2013
Location: BancorpSouth Arena, Tupelo, Mississippi
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley

It’s another live show this week as we’re less than a month away from Slammiversary. The main event tonight is yet another tag match with Sting captaining a TNA team along with Kurt Angle and a mystery partner, which may be AJ Styles to face Aces and 8’s. In other words, almost everything is the same as it always is, which is TNA’s major problem at the moment. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week with Sting beating Matt Morgan for the title match last week and D’Lo Brown potentially being kicked off the team.

Here are Angle and Sting to open things up. Sting talks about wanting to take the heart out of Aces and 8’s by taking the title from Ray in Boston. He doesn’t want to wait another month though so tonight he’s going to war with the machine. Angle talks about making Brown scream I QUIT last week, but tonight it’s AJ Styles that can turn the tide in the war. Kurt calls out AJ and yells at him to make a decision right now.

Sting says hang on a second and talks about his time of hanging in the rafters and being the loner for awhile. He calls this place the house that AJ built and sticks out his hand to Styles. Angle takes the mic away from Sting and yells at AJ that he’s either with them or against them, so Styles walks away. Angle goes after Styles and AJ takes off the jacket. They slug it out on the ramp and the bikers sneak in and lay out Sting with a 3D.

Post break AJ has nothing to say.

Tara/Gail Kim vs. Mickie James/Velvet Sky

Mickie pounds on Gail to start as we have a very good view of Velvet from the apron. Gail interferes though and lets Tara take over, allowing Tara to put Mickie in the Tree of Woe. A baseball slide hits Mickie in the face and it’s off to Gail for a splash in the corner. Mickie comes back with a kick to the face in the corner and it’s off to Velvet. She quickly loads up In Yo Face on Tara but has to send Gail to the floor. No that it matters as In Yo Face hits Tara for the pin at 3:32.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here other than the nice upskirt shots of Velvet. I’m guessing they’re moving towards Mickie taking the title and then doing the legend vs. rookie wonder in Taryn at BFG, which doesn’t do much for me, but then again very rarely does anything the Knockouts do get me interested.

Post match Gail lays out Tara and puts her in the Figure Four around the post.

Bully isn’t pleased with D’Lo and the bikers leave him standing there as they go to the ring.

Bad Influence offers Storm some beer to hopefully sway him to their side. They leave and Storm starts drinking.

Here are Aces and 8’s to hype up the main event tonight. They know the mystery partner isn’t AJ Styles because AJ has seen the light of day. However, there’s club business with D’Lo Brown. A couple of weeks ago (it was last week), Brown disappointed the team so turn in his colors right now. Brown says no so Ray gives him one more chance. Brisco and Bischoff take the vest off of him and Ray yells at him for quitting. Brown offers to beat up Magnus tonight to get the vest back. Ray says no because Doc gets to beat up Magnus instead. Apparently Brown’s spot rests on Doc winning.

Magnus vs. Doc

This is joined in progress after a break with Doc in control and knocking a jumping Magnus out of the air. After a quick chinlock, Doc kicks him in the face but Magnus starts his comeback with a big boot of his own. Some clotheslines puts Doc down and after shoving him off the top, a top rope elbow gets two for Magnus. Brown interferes but is thrown into the steps for his efforts. Back in and Doc hits a fireman’s carry into a pancake for two. Brown tries to trip Magnus but grabs the wrong foot, allowing Magnus to get a quick rollup on Doc for the pin at 4:12 shown.

Rating: D+. The ending was kind of obvious, but if this cuts some of the lame fat from the bikers I’m all for it. So many of their lower level guys are just worthless and Brown might be the most worthless of them all. This doesn’t exactly make the bikers look strong though, but that’s WAY past helping at this point.

Post break Ray wants to CRUSH BROWN’S SKULL WITH A HAMMER. Instead of murdering him, Ray calms down and makes him a prospect instead.

Hogan wants to team up with Angle and Sting but his doctors told him no. Hogan got a phone call today and if the guy is who he says he is, but apparently they would save the six man. Sting isn’t sure and suggests Magnus.

Aries and Roode also offer Storm beer.

Bad Influence vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

James Storm is guest referee and the winners get a tag title shot. Aries starts with Kaz and they spin around a lot with Aries taking over and relaxing on the top rope. Both guys try to rake the others eyes and both try the clap tag to trick Storm, but James looks at both and shrugs. Regular tags bring in Roode and Daniels and they shake hands before both kick the other in the ribs at the same time.

Roode takes Daniels down in the corner with a neckbreaker and it’s off to Aries for a middle rope elbow into the back of a seated Daniels. It only gets one since Storm is distracted so it’s time for some HARD chops in the corner from Aries. Daniels is sent to the floor for an ax handle from Aries. Off to Roode and Bad Influence finally double teams to take over. An elbow drop to Roode’s back gets two and Roode is in trouble. Tazz suggests putting a bowl of beer down on the mat to make Storm get down faster.

Roode throws Kaz into Daniels and finally makes the hot tag off to Aries. It’s elbow strikes all around but Daniels escapes the brainbuster. Aries throws him onto Kaz on the floor though and takes both guys out with a suicide dive. Back in and Austin goes up for a frog splash (complete with Eddie dance) for two. Bad Influence hits a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo on Aries for two before Kaz has Fade to Black countered by Roode.

A spinebuster puts Kaz down but an STO puts Roode down as well. Aries suplexes Daniels down but Austin charges into a boot in the corner. Angel’s Wings are countered but the brainbuster is countered as well. Daniels rolls up Aries but Storm won’t count because Daniels is pulling the tights. Aries loads up a swig of beer and sprays it in Daniels’ face. Storm drinks the rest of the beer but gets shoved by Aries.

Storm loads up the Last Call but hits Daniels by mistake. He won’t count the three though because that’s not right. Instead it’s a Last Call on Aries and both guys are out. Storm walks away and the match seemingly just ends at 11:20. My guess is this sets up a triple threat tag because we haven’t had one of those in awhile.

Rating: C+. Good match here with a stupid ending to set up yet another triple threat. I mean, we haven’t had one in like two weeks, so clearly it’s time for another one right? The tag division continues to be nothing of note from a storyline perspective but the matches are at least entertaining.

Aces and 8’s destroy Magnus in the back. What is that, the third time that’s happened?

Suicide is back soon.

Video on Chris Sabin returning last week.

Here’s Kenny King to remind us he’s still around. King brags about being awesome and how impressive it is that he has to beat two people every single week. More like every month but whatever. He calls out Chris Sabin as someone who has overcome the odds so here’s Chris to a big ovation. Chris talks about being in physical therapy for the last year but how it’s been worth it. King hands him the belt and says that’s as close as “Frail” Sabin will ever get to being champion. Chris pops him in the face and King leaves.

Storm is out cold in the back with the four guys from the tag title match standing over him.

The Bound For Glory Series is back and this year a Gut Check winner will be in the Series. There’s a four man tournament next week with the winner getting into the Series for a shot at the world title at BFG.

Ray tells Aces and 8’s that they’re weeding out the weak ones. Knux is tasked with making sure D’Lo keeps the beer cold and the bikes washed.

Angle leaves without a partner. Hogan gets another call and the mystery partner might be here.

Kurt Angle/Sting/??? vs. Aces and 8’s

It’s Ray/D-Von/Anderson here. Angle and Sting are on their own to start. Kurt and D-Von get things going here with the fans completely behind Angle. A quick belly to belly puts D-Von down but it’s off to the world champion for some hard elbows to the back of Kurt’s neck. Kurt grabs ray’s arm but it’s quickly off to Sting, sending Ray running into the corner. Anderson gets the tag but he walks into a dropkick and atomic drop before it’s back to Angle.

Kurt beats on Anderson a bit before it’s back to D-Von who takes Kurt down for a quick two count. Angle slugs him in the face but the numbers came catches up with him again. The Dudleys hit a reverse 3D on Angle before knocking Sting off the apron. Something is apparently going on in the back and it’s the rest of Aces and 8’s all laid out. We take a break and come back with Ray hitting a good dropkick (Tazz: “LIKE MIL MASCARAS!”) for two on Kurt.

D-Von comes back in to crank on Angle’s neck for a bit before slamming him down and dropping a leg for no cover. WE get the Hogan imitations of course and it’s back to Ray for more pounding on Kurt. Angle snaps off an Angle Slam on Ray out of nowhere and it’s hot tag to Sting. The Splash and Death Drop get two on D-Von as Anderson makes the save. There’s another splash on D-Von but now Ray makes the save.

Sting basically Hulks Up and gets in Ray’s face and they slug it out. There’s the Scorpion on Ray but Anderson makes the save. Sting is taken to the floor as the Dudleys load up a table, but here’s ABYSS to return and clean house. He chokeslams Anderson through the table (not a DQ) and hits the Black Hole Slam on D-Von for the pin at 18:27.

Rating: C+. Good main event here with a nice surprise too. This doesn’t exactly change much because if I had to make a bet, I’d be on the side that says Abyss is hot for a few weeks and then goes back to doing nothing of note for months like everyone else on the roster. Still though, a good surprise here and it had to happen sooner or later.

Overall Rating: C+. FAR more entertaining show tonight with a lot less annoying stuff to sit through. The main event was fine and the surprise wasn’t bad, but at the end of the day it still leads to a pretty lame PPV main event in a few weeks. Ray vs. Sting does nothing for anyone but it’s Sting so we have to give him at least one PPV title shot a year just because we have to. There was some good stuff here tonight and the show was light years easier to sit through than last week, which is a very good sign.

Results

Mickie James/Velvet Sky b. Tara/Gail Kim – In Yo Face to Tara

Magnus b. Doc – Rollup

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode vs. Bad Influence went to a no contest

Kurt Angle/Sting/Abyss b. Aces and 8’s – Black Hole Slam to D-Von

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 

Slamboree 1999
Date: May 9, 1999
Location: TWA Dome, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 20,516
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

Another WCW PPV for you here. This one looks a little less boring than the Bash, but that’s not really saying much. The main event here is Page, the world champion, defending against Nash. We also get the first bout in the EPIC Flair vs. Piper feud, and I’m sure you’re all dying to see that. Let’s get to it.

We open with your standard video talking about a big match tonight, which here is Goldberg vs. Sting. Also Flair vs. Piper plus a few others but it’s mainly those two.

Tony is in a leather jacket for some reason. The announcers run down the card.

Tag Titles: Raven/Perry Saturn vs. Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Raven and Saturn are back together again for some reason. The Horsemen (Benoit and Malenko) are heels. Raven and Saturn are rather popular. I really like WCW’s style in these matches as three are three men in the ring at once. Oh and Rey/Kidman are the champions. Kidman, Dean and Saturn start us off. Saturn is in a skirt due to a long story with Jericho.

Malenko gets beaten down and Saturn beats up Benoit who I guess got a tag. Saturn throws Kidman over the top in a release belly to belly. That landing looked SICK. You can’t tag someone from another team in this match. BIG Horsemen Suck chant. Raven covers Benoit and avoids a slingshot leg from Rey. Benoit and Kidman drape Raven over the top and then Benoit smashes Billy.

This is a very fast paced match so it’s hard to keep up with everything. A top rope splash by Kidman misses Benoit as Raven is on the floor. He manages to break up the Crossface though and double teams Benoit with Saturn. Frog splash to Benoit gets two. In a move that literally made my jaw drop, Dean launches Rey over his shoulder and Rey LANDS ON THE BUCKLE ON HIS FEET and hits a moonsault press for two. THAT WAS AWESOME.

Saturn dives on everyone not named Benoit and Raven. Benoit hits the Swan Dive to Raven for two but Saturn saves. The Horsemen double team Rey and now they beat up Saturn. The tagging aspect has been dropped for the time being. And of course just as I say that it’s officially Benoit vs. Kidman vs. Saturn. Kidman fights back and the fans cheer. BIG superkick from Saturn takes him down though. The crowd is really into this.

Benoit hits a springboard forearm over the top (think Jericho and his dropkick to the apron) to take out Saturn. The two of them are in the ring and a northern lights suplex gets two for the Canadian. Here are the Rolling Germans but Kidman makes the save. Dean gets a tag and gets rolled up by Saturn in a reversal to the Cloverleaf. Saturn is knocked to the floor and things slow down a bit.

Dean is like screw slow and KILLS Kidman with a powerbomb for two. Dragon Suplex to Kidman gets a delayed two. Dean tries to throw Billy into the air but Kidman hits a dropkick in mid air to break it up. Russian legsweep takes Benoit down and there’s the tag to Raven for a big reaction. He hits what we would call Three Amigos to Benoit for two. Back to Saturn who is a bit spent.

Rey vs. Saturn vs. Benoit at this point. Saturn saves a pin on Rey as Malenko and Kidman come in. Saturn and Benoit are down and Kidman isn’t sure who to jump on. Dean tries another powerbomb on him but Kidman rolls into a sunset flip. Everything breaks down and the champs hit a SWEET alley-oop rana to Benoit in the corner. They try it on Saturn but he hits a top rope sitout powerbomb to Rey for two. Arn comes in and hits a spinebuster on Saturn to HUGE heel heat. Someone in a Sting mask breaks up the Shooting Star by crotching Kidman. An elevated Even Flow gives Raven/Saturn the belts. Kanyon was in the mask.

Rating: B. This is better than probably any other match I’ve seen in all of WCW so far in 1999. They were all over the place in here and beating the living tar out of each other, which is the best thing you can ask for. Also the popular team wins off a big ending with the DDT. Very good match, but now things are going to fall through the floor, which is WCW in a nutshell.

Video on DDP.

Konnan vs. Stevie Ray

Horace and Vincent of the NWO Black and White are with Ray. The fans here in St. Louis are awesome as they’ll cheer for any face and boo any heel. Why is that so complex? Ray pounds him down in the corner but Konnan pounds him on the middle rope while making oral sex gestures. Vincent gets on the apron to break up a pin attempt. He cheats a bit more on the floor and the fans aren’t all that thrilled here.

Off to a chinlock as Ray thinks of something new he can do other than kicks and forearms. He chokes away which is at least new. Back to the chinlock for more time in the think tank. Suplex gets two and there’s the jump off the ropes into a boot spot. Konnan speeds things up and messes up a leapfrog. X Factor puts Ray down but Horace trips K-Dawg up. Here’s Rey to distract the goons and Konnan wins with a rollup (with a pretty fast count).

Rating: D-. Really dull match here but at least it was kind of logical: once Rey is there to counteract Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber, Konnan can get the pin on his own. Stevie is just so freaking boring without Booker there to help him out that there’s no need to have him out here, especially on a PPV. Boring match and not any good at all.

Video on Kevin Nash.

Video on Sting.

Page talks to Bigelow in the back but we can’t hear what’s being said.

Brian Knobbs vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

This is for the moniker King of Hardcore, which isn’t an official title. This of course is a hardcore match if you didn’t get the idea there. There isn’t going to be much to talk about in this. It’s your standard hardcore match with both guys being hit in the head with generic pieces of metal. There’s an RVD sign in the crowd. Heenan tells the announcers to be quiet so he can hear the weapon shots.

Bigelow hits a top rope headbutt for two. Out to the floor and there’s still nothing to talk about. It’s pretty much the same as every hardcore match you’ll ever see. Knobbs’ trashcan shot is blocked by a waiter’s tray which winds up going on top of Brian’s head. Bigelow is in control here. The fans want a table. There are long stretches here where there’s nothing to talk about. It’s just random weapon shots and the announcers laughing.

They fight up the aisle with Knobbs using a trashcan to keep control. There’s the internet location getting its required cameo. They go old school here with the fake souvenir stand that no fan would be able to get to because it’s on the arena floor. We go behind a curtain (revealing about 1/5 of the arena being tarped off) and there’s a ladder shot. An elbow off the stands onto a table misses for Knobbs (I think, you can’t see anything) and Bigelow suplexes him through the table for the pin.

Rating: F. Heenan’s final line of “and they do this for a living” sums things up well. Why in the world did Knobbs of all people have a job here? The match sucked due to there being nothing interesting here at all. There was no comedy spot, there was nothing other than the most basic weapons available, and nothing interesting happened at all. Bad match and really boring. Also it ran almost 12 minutes. Inexcusable.

We recap Rick Steiner vs. Booker. Booker won a match against Steiner with help from Stevie, who is in the NWO (Booker never was). Ray saved him again but Rick came in to beat him up. Rick vs. Booker started up again so let’s have a TV Title match again.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Booker T

Booker is champion here if I didn’t make that clear. Rick starts out with a belly to belly release and a couple of Steiner Lines. I think he’s the heel here but I’m not sure. More control by Steiner until Booker kicks him in the face to put him down. Steiner pops up of course because he isn’t going to sell anything. Off to a chinlock by Booker. I think he’s either heel here or borderline heel.

Steiner takes over on the floor and things slow way down. Time for a chinlock again. The crowd is very quiet. Steiner punches a lot and the fans don’t care. A bunch of punches gets two and here’s that chinlock again. Booker fights back and hits the axe kick, a spinebuster and the missile dropkick but STEINER WON’T SELL THEM. Here’s what happens after every move: Steiner lays there about 2-4 seconds then gets up like nothing happened. Scott finally runs out for the distraction and a Steiner Line gets two. Scott trips Booker and the Bulldog off the ropes gives Rick the title.

Rating: D. Just a horribly boring match here as Rick is beyond worthless in the ring at this point. Naturally the answer to that is to give him a title for four months. He wouldn’t sell ANYTHING Booker did here and Booker looks like a joke as a result. Bad match but as usual, most of it is due to Rick being lazy and not selling anything.

Time to recap the stupid match of the show. Randy Savage is out of wrestling at this point so he’s putting one of his chicks (the hot one) in there against Lil Naitch in the form of referee Charles Robinson. Yes this match is happening.

Rick rambles to Buff in the back and wishes him luck against Scott later. Gee, that must be totally genuine right?

Gorgeous George vs. Charles Robinson

Ok to be fair, Robinson’s Flair costume is AWESOME. He has the robe, he has the hair, he looks exactly like a small Nature Boy. Even his face looks like him. Flair and Savage are seconds here. Asya and the other chicks are here too. To be fair, George was indeed hot. Flair, the President of WCW at the time, says he’d like to have Madusa ride Space Mountain. Miss Maddness can come too, but George is being saved for Robinson. Robinson rips George a bit and he sounds EXACTLY like Flair. This is the best imitation I’ve seen in years. Savage (POP) says George will win.

Robinson struts a lot as they stall for a few minutes. George goes after the arm and Robinson reverses. Off to a full nelson and snapmare as George is dominant. Flair and Robinson get rammed together so Savage has to come in and protect George. Robinson goes for a chair but Miss Madness steals it. She gets slammed outside and Savage FREAKS. I mean freaks by his standards.

Back in Robinson takes over with a choke and then does more of that. George comes back with a few chops and Robinson does the flip in the corner and runs the apron, only to get slammed off the top. Heenan says this is great and I can’t say I disagree. There’s a Flair Flop and they’re getting tired. The heels cheat a bit and work over George’s knee but Madusa makes the save.

Robinson works on the knee and if the match continues like it has, that means we’re heading for the Figure Four. He hooks the knee a bit and cranks on it for awhile. Here’s the Figure Four and while it looks good, it’s on the wrong knee. She reverses it and Flair comes in for the save. Savage chases him off and beats up Robinson so George can drop a half decent looking middle rope elbow for the pin. Savage is reinstated.

Rating: D. Yes it was bad, but at the end of the day we have a referee and a manager in there. Robinson’s Flair impression is absolutely excellent and one of the best I’ve ever seen. George really is gorgeous and it’s a shame she wasn’t around in wrestling more than she was. That being said, this was decent enough all things considered. Ten and a half minutes was too long, but it wasn’t boring and they were trying which is more important than anything else.

We recap Scott Steiner vs. Buff Bagwell. Bagwell was a face and made fun of him so Steiner said he had a big ego. Bagwell imitated him and it wasn’t really funny.

US Title: Buff Bagwell vs. Scott Steiner

Since Bagwell never won a singles title, I think you know who is champion coming in. Buff jumps him before the bell and Steiner still has the belt on. Swinging neckbreaker gets two. Scott hits him low and there’s the Push-Up elbow. Buff gets thrown to the floor and Steiner yells at some fans. Things slow WAY down with Steiner on offense. It was a running theme with the Steiners at this point.

Scott chokes away and yells at another fan. Much like in the Rick match, you may be noticing a pattern emerging here. They go to the mat and Steiner elbows him a lot. He runs to the floor and brings in a chair. If that shot had hit Steiner would have been facing 10-15 years. Bagwell fights back but there goes the referee. Buff gets the chair and here’s Rick to turn heel on Buff and whack him with the chair. The Recliner keeps the title on Scott.

Rating: D-. I can’t take many more of these bad matches. I mean the people in them are just SO lazy with them laying around and doing nothing of note. Scott and Rick are back together as the Steiners and both have singles titles. You know, because that’s what the people wanted to see and would light the world on fire. Benoit and Jericho and Malenko? Who are they?

Video on Goldberg. These videos are just their music playing over clips of them. They only last about 15-20 seconds each.

Now to really crank it up, here’s a video on all four people in the main events. There aren’t any words to this so the feuds still aren’t explained.

The third straight video (at least they’re short) is on Flair being president and being insane. He’s signing contracts without reading them and one of them is for a match with Piper for the Presidency. Flair thinks he’s President of the United States. I kid you not, this was the second biggest wrestling company in the world at this point. Oh and he went to a mental hospital and thought he was in a hotel. Again, this is what we mean when we say insulting to our intelligence.

Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair

The winner is the president. Before things get going, referee Johnny Boone is fired and Charles Robinson replaces him. Flair runs his mouth and gets slapped to get us going. Piper knocks him to the floor and let’s take a break after that. He boxes Flair, seemingly hitting him in the chest and neck, but Flair falls anyway. He hits a low blow to take over and Robinson yells at Piper for choking.

Flair yells at Anderson to beat on Piper when he throws him outside. Flair throws Piper outside and Anderson beats on him. Asya comes in for a low blow and this is about as far from serious as you could want it to be. Flair chops away in the corner and Piper chops back. Robinson cheats on a cover and says Flair keeps getting his shoulder up. There’s the Flair Flip in the corner and they go to the outside.

Piper rams Flair’s head into Flair’s arm but we’ll say it was the post anyway. Back in the ring they ram heads and both guys are down. After about 2 seconds of leg softening here’s the Figure Four. Piper tries a sunset flip and there go the trunks. He hooks Flair in the Figure Four and Flair screams that he gives up but Robinson ignores it. Anderson breaks it up but gets thrown in a sleeper. Now Flair in the sleeper. Asya runs in and gets kissed and put in a sleeper as well. The referee gets decked and Flair hits Piper with an illegal object for the pin.

Rating: The chipmunk has pneumonia. I better take him to the embassy before he deletes the remote control of reality and I run out of apple juice. If he does that, there will be a great and mighty feast in the great archway of the flippyflook.

And that was more logical than putting this match on PPV. But wait: there’s more.

Here’s Eric Bischoff who hasn’t been seen in awhile and has no authority whatsoever in this company. He says Piper is the winner and that Flair can bite him. Somehow this stands. Eric and Piper hug to a face pop (intentional I’d assume but who knows with this company?) and Piper fires Flair. Just….yeah.

Recap of Sting vs. Goldberg. This is for who the franchise is or something.

Sting vs. Goldberg

Tony is either trying to explain what we just saw or is questioning it himself. I’m really not sure. I’m also not sure why this match is happening but who cares? Sting has white boots with black toes. It makes as much sense as anything else here. Goldberg takes him down and snaps off a powerslam for no cover. Sting stalls on the floor and then takes Goldberg to the floor with a clothesline.

Goldberg hooks a cross armbreaker but it isn’t on correctly. Sting fights out of it and we go to a test of strength. He takes out Goldberg’s braced knee (oh sweet psychology, how I missed you) and puts on a Boston Crab which is quickly broken. Goldberg fights back with power moves and things slow WAY down. Top rope clothesline by Sting sets up some Stinger Splashes but Goldberg catches him in a spinebuster which is called a spear. And here’s Bret Hart with a chair and it’s a no contest.

Rating: D. Another bad match. I mean seriously, this show SUCKS. There’s been nothing but boring matches (aside from the opener) and stuff that is basically around to set up matches on Nitro rather than HERE ON THE FREAKING PPV. Nothing to see here as they basically kept it as slow gear as possible.

And then the Steiners run out and beat up Goldberg and Sting. WHY ARE THEY THE FOCAL POINT OF A SHOW IN 1999????

Another wordless video on Page vs. Nash. No word on why they’re fighting but there’s clearly no thinking anywhere else in this show so who cares?

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kevin Nash

And Buffer’s mic doesn’t work right. Seriously, fold already. You can hear him in the arena but not over the PPV feed. Page is champion. Early Cutter attempt is blocked and Page hits the floor. We actually get a reference to the Vegas Connection. Page hammers away but runs his mouth to get himself sent to the floor. Back inside and Nash hammers away. Page charges at Nash and finally kicks him low to take over.

Page rips a buckle off and hits him with the mic for two. He gets sent into the exposed steel though and both guys are down. Page takes over and sends him to the floor. A baseball slide puts Nash down and there’s a Diamond Cutter to kill Nash out there. It only gets two in the ring but at least there was a delay. Now Page goes for the knee for no apparent reason.

He wraps it around the post a few times and pounds on Nash again. There’s something going on in the crowd so they change the camera angle, which is pretty smart. Nash makes his comeback and hits Snake Eyes onto the buckle. Back to the regular angle. Nash….at least limp. Big boot and Jackknife….but here’s Savage to break it up for the LAME DQ. So is he a heel now too?

I would rate it here, but Eric comes out AGAIN and restarts the match. Russian legsweep gets two for the champ. Discus lariat gets the same. And here’s a sleeper, which looks awful because Nash is so tall. Now Nash hooks an even WORSE sleeper but Page jawbreaks his way out of it for two. A chair shot hits the rope and Page takes it in the face for two. Low blow gets two for Page. And then Nash kicks the chair into Page’s face, takes the straps down and wins the title via the Jackknife.

Rating: D. The fans popped for the ending, but I’m just spent at this point. There’s nothing interesting here and the run in and restart made no sense, which is what the name of the show should be. Nash would hold the title for a few months before dropping it to Savage before Hogan took it the next night. This was nothing interesting at all and the knee selling coming and going hurt things.

Overall Rating: F-. This is usually were I’d make some witty statement about how this show was so bad it goes beyond bad ratings or something, but there’s nothing left in me after watching this mess. The illogical stories, the stupid booking, the overdoing it with the Steiners, the worthless world title change, and the bad matches just made me completely uninterested by the end of this show. I haven’t felt like that about a PPV in a very long time, but this just drained me completely.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

This past Thursday’s show saw the worst audience of the year.  The numbers have been going down since Bully won the title but are falling even faster now that it’s all about Sting and Hogan.

 

Imagine that: people don’t care about Bubba Ray Dudley vs. two old guys in the year 2013.  I for one am shocked.

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 2, 2013
Location: Kovalchick Complex, Indiana, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Todd Keneley, Taz, Mike Tenay

It’s another taped show tonight and shockingly enough, Sting is back. Yes for probably the tenth time in his TNA history, Sting has made a big return to take up the TNA torch and save the company from whatever the latest threat is. In this case it’s the bikers of Aces and 8’s, who still are pretty lame aside from Bully Ray. Let’s get to it.

After the usual recap, here’s Hogan to open things up. He immediately calls out Sting for a face to face chat to clear the air up to this point. Hogan talks about how they almost came to blows last week, but he knows when he’s right and when he’s wrong. He’s had a lot of stuff going on lately and he made a big mistake by pushing Sting away. They should have been working together the entire time and that’s on Hogan as well.

Sting says that they’re together right now and that’s what the fans want to see. He wants another six man tag with himself and two other guys against Aces and 8’s. Hogan says sure but tonight, we need a new #1 contender for Slammiversary. This brings out Morgan who says this is where Sting is handed another title shot. Hogan says no more mistakes and no more handouts, so tonight it’s Sting vs. Morgan for the title shot.

Chris Sabin is back next.He talks about doing whatever it took to get back to the ring. That was his goal and he was going to accomplish it no matter what.

Kurt Angle has issued an open challenge to Aces and 8’s for tonight.

Chris Sabin vs. Zema Ion vs. Sonjay Dutt

The winner is in the next three way title match along with King and whoever didn’t get pinned in the last title match. Sabin has the Hail Sabin music here instead of the Motor City Machine Guns’ music. The referee camera is back for this match again. Ion gets caught in between the other two guys before being knocked out to the floor.

Dutt snaps off a quick rana on Sabin and hooks an armbar, but has to stop to knock Zema to the floor. An enziguri puts Dutt down for two for Sabin but Ion comes in with a sunset flip, sending Dutt flying via a German suplex from Sabin. With Sabin down, Ion drops Dutt onto the top rope as we’re told that Suicide will be in the next X-Division qualifying match.

We get some overly complicated three way near falls followed by a sliding dropkick to Ion’s head. A spinning DDT puts Sabin down and a running shooting star press gets two for Sonjay. Ion hits a snap DDT for two on Dutt as we see that X-Cam thing. Dutt hits a low superkick on Ion but gets powerbombed down by Sabin, but Chris picks him back up into a Death Valley Driver onto Ion for no cover. With Dutt in the Tree of Woe, Sabin throws Ion into Sonjay before hitting a scoop sitout brainbuster on Ion for the pin at 4:02.

Rating: C. These matches are already getting old. We get it: they can have three way matches with a lot of cool spots in them. Can the X guys do ANYTHING else? As in event a one on one match? No? Well of course not because why have two guys in the ring when you can have THREE? This division is dying and it’s dying in a hurry.

Robbie E and Jesse plot against Rob Terry. Their plan: get Joey Ryan to help them.

Bully yells at Aces and 8’s for Hogan and Sting mocking them earlier. Ray says he can beat either Sting or Morgan. As for tonight, it’s about Kurt Angle. Ray wants him taken out tonight and D’Lo steps up to do the deed.

Robbie E/Joey Ryan/Jesse Godderz vs. Rob Terry

Ryan gets to start and backs in to the monster. A quick backdrop puts Ryan down but Godderz pulls Rob’s trunks for a distraction. They try to triple team Terry until it’s Joey going after the big man’s knee. Off to Robbie for some shots to a downed monster followed by a sleeper. Terry stands up and backs Robbie into the corner to escape. Robbie takes him down again and it’s off to Joey but all three guys wind up coming in. Robbie shrugs all of them off and runs them all down before picking up Robbie and Jesse at the same time. The over the shoulder spinebuster ends Ryan at 3:34. Apparently it’s called the Beast Bomb.

Rating: D. We get it: Rob Terry is strong. The problem is there’s not much for him to gain by just destroying sleazy characters like these guys. The Rob vs. Robbie feud is long past dead but since the writers in TNA can’t focus on more than one story at once, we need to keep this going even longer.

Here are Aries and Roode to talk about Bad Influence trying to restart Fourtune. Roode isn’t thrilled with the idea and Aries thinks they were lying. Roode and Aries don’t like each other like Bad Influence does….and here are Daniels and Kazarian. Daniels says that Roode and Aries are right in that it’s about the titles but they’re wrong by saying they’re the best tag team in the world. Roode and Aries knows they’re just a pale imitation of Bad Influence. Roode says they’re awesome but Kaz calls Roode and Aries Bad Influence Lite.

This brings out the tag champions who says that there’s a special referee for the #1 contenders tag match next week. It’s James Storm for no apparent reason whatsoever, but it’s yet another reason he can’t move up on the card. Storm hands out beers and stands with the champion.

Sting goes in to see Angle behind closed doors.

Tara and Gail complain about Taryn Terrell. They’re in a tag match tonight apparently. Tara leaves and Gail says she’s going to make sure she gets the victory.

Sabin says it’s great to be back in the ring.

Kurt Angle vs. D’Lo Brown

Before the match, Brown says we make it an I Quit match. He jumps Angle to start but Kurt easily takes him to the mat as you would expect him to. Anderson tells the rest of the bikers to stay back as the guys head to the floor. Brown misses a hammer shot against the post but manages to pull Angle’s arm into the post. Back inside and D’Lo goes after the arm with a bunch of basic stuff.

We get a wristlock into a cross armbreaker but Angle fights up into a quickly broken ankle lock. Off to a cobra clutch on Kurt but he Hulks Up and rolls some six straight German suplexes. Brown breaks the ankle lock again and busts out a Samoan drop of all things. D’Lo loads up a powerbomb but Angle rolls through into the ankle lock for the submission at 8:02.

Rating: D+. Yeah imagine that: challenging one of the best submission wrestlers ever to a submission match WAS A REALLY BAD IDEA. At the end of the day, this was D’Lo Brown trying to be a big physical threat in the year 2013. There’s only so much you can do with something like that, which shows the problem with Aces and 8’s.

Angle says he has his mind on AJ Styles and calls him out right now. Post break and Angle is still calling out AJ and finally gets him. Angle says AJ looks like he wants to take his head off, but that’s a bad idea for Styles since we’re in Angle’s hometown. Kurt says everyone wants to recruit AJ and Styles isn’t one to take the easy way. Right now though, Angle wants to know where AJ stands. If AJ is with TNA then that’s cool, but if not then they’re going to have some problems. He wants Styles to join him and Sting against Aces and 8’s next week and leaves AJ to think about it.

We recap the opening segment which set up Morgan vs. Sting tonight.

Matt Morgan says tonight he’s taking the ball and then winning the world title.

Gail Kim/Tara vs. Taryn Terrell/Mickie James

Taryn gets double teamed to start until Mickie finally helps her out. The heels are rammed into each other before things get calmed down. Off to Mickie vs. Gail with James hooking a quick cross armbreaker, only to have Gail grab the rope. Gail pounds away for a bit by Mickie comes back with an enziguri knee to the head for two. Mickie is sent to the apron where she kicks Tara down, only to be knocked to the floor by Gail.

Back in and Mickie gets stomped down in the corner before Tara busts out a bridging Indian deathlock. Taryn comes in to break things up and it’s off to Gail for more slow paced punishment. Both Mickie and Gail try cross bodies and go down from the collision. The hot tag brings in Taryn as everything breaks down. In the mess, Terrell rolls up Tara for the pin at 6:27.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t terrible and the girls all looked great out there, but we need to get the title on Mickie and have her turn heel so Taryn can take the belt from her already, because this whole “she’s a rookie who gets a lot of fluke wins” deal is getting old already. Nothing to see here for the most part, much like all of tonight.

Post match they keep brawling until Gail hits Eat Defeat on Taryn and puts her in the Figure Four around the post.

Ray yells at Aces and 8’s for D’Lo tapping earlier. Next week it’s the Dudleys and Anderson in the six man.

Roode and Aries say they’ll win next week.

Matt Morgan vs. Sting

The winner gets Bully Ray at Slammiversary. Morgan pounds away in the corner as Taz talks about how great he is in Aces and 8’s. Matt hits him with some hard clotheslines and right hands followed by a chokeslam for two. Back with Morgan ramming Sting into the barricade before heading back inside for some choking. Sting fights back on the floor with some shots into the barricade and steps. We head inside again but Sting walks into the side slam for two.

Morgan misses an elbow drop and gets caught by the Stinger Splash in the corner. Matt fights back with the rapid fire elbows and the Carbon Footprint….for two. Another Footprint hits the buckle and there’s the Scorpion Deathlock. Matt is in big trouble but never taps out. He finally makes the rope so Sting puts the hold right back on. Morgan blacks out from the pain to send Sting to Slammiversary at 13:07.

Rating: D+. As soon as I heard this match announced, I knew Sting was getting the title shot. Why did I know that? Because that’s what happens in TNA. No matter what your other options may be, at the end of the day it’s going to be Sting getting the title shot no matter what. People have been BEGGING to see Morgan elevated for years now, but let’s go with Sting again because he and Hogan have to cowboy up and fight the bikers, because that’s what people (and by that I mean Sting and Hogan) want to see.

Ray stares down Sting to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. What in the world happened to this show? Two months ago this was the best show on TV and now it’s a nightmare. There’s WAY too much focus on Hogan and Sting while the younger guys are stashed away in the tag title scene. The stories are going nowhere, I don’t know of anyone who is dying to see Sting get ANOTHER title shot, and the AJ drama is already getting old. TNA needs to change things around, but I have a feeling they’re going to stay locked on this path for months to come.

Results

Chris Sabin b. Zema Ion and Sonjay Dutt – Scoop Michinoku Driver

Rob Terry b. Robbie E/Jesse Godderz/Joey Ryan – Beast Bomb to Ryan

Kurt Angle b. D’Lo Brown – Ankle Lock

Sting b. Matt Morgan – Scorpion Deathlock

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 

Mayhem 1999
Date: November 21, 1999
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 13,839
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

 

Since TNA is stupid and had two Final Resolutions in 2008, you get this until I can find a copy. This is WCW Canadian PPV debut so the main event is a tournament final of Benoit vs. Hart for the world title. The title was vacated this time because WCW decided to have the world champion’s (Sting) opponent (Hogan) at Halloween Havoc lay down for him and then have Goldberg squash Sting so the title was vacated and we got a tournament. That’s Russo for you. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is about the final four in the tournament: Hart, Benoit, Sting and Jarrett.

 

Oh and this show is named after a video game, not vice versa.

 

We have a double main event: the tournament final and Sid vs. Goldberg in an I Quit match.

 

The fans want Flair as Tony and Bobby run down the card. Why we need to hear this is beyond me but I guess it makes sense to the bosses.

 

WCW World Title Tournament Semi-Final: Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett

 

Jarrett takes him down to start and slaps him in the back of the head which ends badly for him. Benoit busts out a tornado DDT for two. Neckbreaker gets the same as Benoit is trying for as many pins as he can get. Superplex hits for two as well. This is all within the first 90 seconds. I’m not skipping a bunch of stuff. Out to the floor and Benoit chops away. A chop misses and Jarrett crotches Benoit against the post to finally slow him down.

 

Back inside and a powerslam gets two for Jeff. They hit a pinfall reversal sequence. This is faster and more crisp than anything I can remember in WCW in years. Jeff grabs a sleeper and Benoit is in trouble. He escapes but Jeff gets it again. This time Benoit hits a jawbreaker and both guys are down. The Canadian hits some Germans on the American and here comes Creative Control (Harris Brothers as the muscle of the Powers That Be).

 

Benoit is sent to the floor but Jeff doesn’t want the win by countout. That’s strangely galant of him. A top rope cross body is rolled through for two for Benoit and when he sits on a Jarrett sunset flip he gets the same result. Belly to back sets up the swan dive but Creative Control pulls Benoit out. The other member beats Benoit down to huge boos. There’s the Stroke but Dustin Rhodes comes out to break up the pin and beats up Creative Control. There’s the guitar but Benoit gets it and clocks Jarrett (totally against his character) to go to the finals.

 

Rating: B-. This was on the path to being a great match but then it’s Russo booking a big time match and therefore we must have three run-ins and a weapon shot. When have you ever seen a face Benoit use a weapon? The opening part of this was GREAT though and if they had kept that up for the entire match it would have been an easy A.

 

JJ and CC beat down Benoit post match to MONSTER heat.

 

Disco says he respects his Cruiserweight Title and the $25,000 he can win doesn’t mean as much as the belt. Jarrett and Creative Control pop up to beat him down too.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Evan Karagis vs. Disco Inferno

 

Title vs. money here. Wait both guys have put up money meaning Evan can win the title and money while Disco can only win the money. That’s not exactly fair. Evan also has Madusa with him. Disco has some issues getting to the ring due to the beating. Tony Marinara (Tony Mamaluke from ECW) is with him as his inspiration/lackey. Evan jumps him in the aisle and we start up in the aisle for a bit.

 

Marinara sits in on commentary. He’s very annoying so far and is talking about how Disco owes him money or something which would go on for about a year and never went anywhere. It did bring in the Mamalukes though. Disco fires away with some kicks in the corner that are so hard Evan is falling down before they hit. The champ hits a pair of suplexes and dances.

 

Evan gets two off a crucifix but is taken down by a clothesline. This is a pretty bland match so far. Marinara is getting more annoying with every word he says. A middle rope elbow gets two for Disco. Madusa picks up Evan on the floor and the power of looks is enough to inspire him to dropkick Disco as he jumps off the apron at him.

 

Powerslam gets two for Karagis. The announcers debate what the belt is worth with the value stretching from $150 to 50 grand. There’s a LOUD boring chant as Disco hits a DDT. Marinara gets up to hit on Madusa and the distraction causes Disco to grab a chair and put it upside Tony’s head. A springboard cross body gives Karagis the title which he would lose to Madusa.

 

Rating: D. This was a terribly dull match with neither guy being interesting at all. They just kind of did moves to each other for 8 minutes. I don’t think anyone knew who Marinara was and I don’t think anyone really cared. Disco was best served as a comedy act but instead they made him a champion because the other Cruiserweights actually had something to do. Bad match.

 

Bret is just getting here.

 

The Powers That Be (Russo with his face not being seen), yells at Jarrett and says he has to fix it tonight. Jeff says he’ll do it.

 

Norman Smiley says he’s ready to become Hardcore Champion and is scared by construction going on.

 

Hardcore Title: Brian Knobs vs. Norman Smiley

 

This is a tournament final to determine the first champion. Smiley comes out in a Maple Leafs jersey. The Hardcore Title is the exact same shape as the ECW World Title. Knobs takes over to start with some weapon shots. He’s in an old school Nasty Boys shirt while Norman is in full hockey gear minus the helmet. A middle rope trashcan shot misses so Norman cracks him in the head with it.

 

Norman gets the hockey stick and Tony tries to sound like he knows something about hockey. The Big Wiggle is broken up and there go the shin guards. Why are wrestlers so obsessed with taking opponents’ clothes off? Jimmy Hart jumps on Norman’s back and Norman gets to have his one instance of physical dominance. They head to the back with Knobs hitting him in the head and Norman stumbles back to the entrance.

 

There’s a camera waiting on them and Norman gets in a chair shot to the ribs. It’s your usual hardcore match from the late 90s meaning there’s a table set up with Norman going head first into it. Knobs goes into a bunch of boxes which are empty. He screams anyway because he’s Screamin Norman Smiley. They get to the food stuff and not yet prepared food is tossed around. They fight into an elevator and the door shuts. Jimmy opens it up but when he swings the trashcan it hits Knobs and Norman gets the pin and the title. Yes, Jimmy Hart just physically ended a match.

 

Rating: D+. It’s a hardcore match from the late 90s. The problem is that it’s Brian Knobs in there instead of someone that means something anymore. In WWF this would have been people like Al Snow or Road Dogg, as in people still relevant at the time. This wasn’t anything of note and is the same match you would see a dozen times over the next year on PPV.

 

Post match Jimmy is thrown into some hamburger buns.

 

We recap the Revolution vs. the Filthy Animals. It’s your usual stable gang warfare. There was a pole match involving getting Torrie out of a cage. There was a moment where Rey (Animals) was hung by the leg from the top of a cage and they destroyed his knee so he’s not in this.

 

The Revolution talks about what if’s and Saturn goes into a rant about dinosaurs.

 

The Animals say they’ll win and they’re not worried.

 

Disco talks to Tony Marinara and Tony says he’s going to get his boys.

 

Jarrett has what looks to be a 2×4 and is going to look for someone.

 

Filthy Animals vs. Revolution

 

This is an elimination match. It’s Eddie/Kidman/Asya (Chyna ripoff) vs. Torrie/Saturn/Malenko. Shane Douglas of the Revolution is on commentary. Eddie and Kidman clean house as they’re trying to keep Torrie (a spry 24 here and drop dead gorgeous) out of the ring. We start officially with Eddie vs. Dean which works almost every time. They head to the floor so Saturn takes them out with an Asai moonsautl. Kidman dives on them too and then Torrie sets for one. Asya gets her hands on Torrie and it turns into something like a catfight.

 

Kidman plants Asya with a Sky High as Torrie has a bad ankle. Eddie shoves Kidman into Malenko as he’s checking on Torrie but it lets Malenko roll Kidman up for the first elimination. Eddie is destroyed by Malenko and Saturn, taking a backbreaker/knee drop combo. Asya comes in and beats on Eddie a bit, hitting an eye popping Davey Boy Smith delayed vertical for two.

 

Back to Eddie vs. Dean with Dean in control via a suplex. Eddie gets out of it and hits a standing rana for a pin to eliminate Dean and get us down to Eddie/Torrie vs. Saturn/Asya with Torrie having an injured ankle still. Asya comes in and beats on Eddie with another suplex getting two. Saturn accidentally superkicks Asya and a frog splash makes it 2-1 with Saturn vs. Torrie/Eddie.

 

It’s so weird thinking of Eddie as a Filthy Animal when he left as one of the Radicalz with a lot of the Revolution in two months. Saturn hooks a sleeper hold on Eddie but a jawbreaker gets him out of it. Scratch that as he’s right back in it. Now Eddie puts a sleeper on Saturn. Why do people that just easily escaped a sleeper think it’s such a good move to use immediately afterwords?

 

Saturn tries a spinning springboard clothesline but Eddie steps to the side and dropkicks him down. Something like a tornado DDT gets two. Eddie jumps into a Death Valley Driver for two. Shane is losing it on commentary and is more entertaining than anything I’ve ever heard him say or do. Saturn misses a top rope elbow so Eddie tries the same move he got rid of Dean with but it only gets two. Eddie tries a top rope cross body but Saturn rolls through into the Rings of Saturn to give us Saturn vs. Torrie. Torrie kicks him low and Shane gets on the apron. Saturn hits Torrie low which gets him the pin for the win.

 

Rating: C-. Not bad but I really don’t get the idea of having the girls in there. This would have been a lot better if they just had a tag match with the four guys or maybe threw in another dude to fight Asya. There wasn’t anything great here and the ending was really pretty stupid. I can think of worse ways to kill ten minutes though.

 

Jeff and Creative Control are beating up Buff Bagwell now.

 

Curt Hennig vs. Buff Bagwell

 

This is a career vs. career match and the video package during Curt’s entrance doesn’t really do much of a good job of explaining why that’s the stipulation. There’s no Bagwell due to the beating so here are Jarrett and CC. Hennig tries to fight them off but he’s outnumbered. Here’s Bagwell who is fine and has a 2×4. He runs off the heels who have been in about 5 scenes tonight and the match begins.

 

Hennig controls early and we head to the floor with Bagwell going into the railing a few times. As they’re getting back in though Hennig is shoved off the apron and into the railing himself. And he still managed to do it perfectly. This is far closer to a brawl than a match which is Russo 101. Hennig is a lot more popular because he’s talented and old school while Bagwell is more or less a douche.

 

Off to a sleeper (popular move tonight) by Hennig which goes on for a long time. Buff fires off some punches and dances a lot but the fans do not care at all. Why would you think that in an old WWF town in a country that takes wrestling seriously that fans would want to see that dancing stuff? Not that it matters as Hennig controls 80% of the match but walks into a Blockbuster that is as out of nowhere as it sounds to make Hennig “retire”.

 

Rating: D. What a boring match this was. The fans were all over Bagwell who was the face in this I think and they gave Hennig a standing ovation after the loss. The match was awful, primarily because Bagwell wasn’t any good at making people care or being able to have an interesting match. He had a good finisher and a good body and that’s it. Hennig would unretire the next night and had his next televised match in 8 days.

 

Sting, the heel in his match against Bret, says he should be champion because he never lost the title. It’s Showtime.

 

WCW World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Bret Hart vs. Sting

 

Sting is in a t-shirt and tights and has big hair. Feeling out process to start and they stare each other down a lot. Bret slugs away and the fans pop HARD. They brawl to the floor because Bret Hart is incapable of having a wrestling match in a ring right? Sting wrestles like a heel, raking Bret’s eyes to break his momentum. This is a very interesting thing to see as Sting is wrestling as a heel in front of a crowd that believes him to be a heel. This has happened all of maybe twice ever.

 

Bret gets in a single shot to take over and the crowd explodes. Sting kicks him in the little maple leafs and actually hits the big elbow for two. They go to the floor again and Bret is sent into the announce table. The Stinger Splash onto the table misses and we head back inside. The referee goes down and here’s Lex with a ball bat to beat up Sting. Bret beats up Luger and puts him in the Sharpshooter which somehow gives Bret a DQ win. Bret doesn’t want it that way but he’s stuck with it.

 

Scratch that he’s not stuck with it as Bret demands we keep going so we keep going. Bret goes off on Sting with the original Five Moves of Doom including the Canadian hitting a Russian on the American. The elbow is blocked by a boot to the chin and Sting limps into the Scorpion which he has some torque on for once. Bret counters that into the Sharpshooter and Bret is in the Finals.

 

Rating: D+. This match right here sums up Vince Russo’s issues in a nutshell. Sting was past his prime at this point and Bret wasn’t great but he still could have a decent match in the ten minutes they had here. Did we need the run-in and the ball bat? No, we didn’t. The ending they did here could have worked fine and would have made a good ending kind of like his Summerslam 91 match. However, Vince Russo says no that’s not a good idea and we need to have people running in and weapon shots because I guess the fans can’t enjoy wrestling. That’s Russo in a nutshell: he had no faith in actual wrestling.

 

Sting calls Bret back in for a handshake post match.

 

Benoit says it’s an honor to wrestle Bret again here and he’ll test the Best There Is/Was/Ever Will Be moniker.

 

Luger is already in a neck brace and says it’ll be a permanent thing. He can’t wrestle tonight either so he’ll pay the fans something for an apology. The details aren’t really clear.

 

Vampiro vs. Berlyn

 

This is a collar match and Vampiro has Jerry Only of the band the Misfits with him. Berlyn is Alex Wright in something resembling a Neo-Nazi deal. It was rather weird to say the least. Dr. Death Steve Williams and Oklahoma, one of the creative writers making fun of JR. Immediately Berlyn hits the referee. Vampy kicks Berlyn and Wall hits Vampiro. A second referee comes down as Wall beats up Vampiro and Berlyn is on the floor.

 

Wall misses a big boot and gets crotched as Berlyn beats up Jerry Only. Oklahoma’s impression of JR is pretty good. I think the match has started now but I’m not sure. Oklahoma makes up a bunch of football stats for the three guys as Wall hits a HUGE chokeslam and is tied to Vampiro now. Berlyn yells at the Wall who takes the collar off.

 

I have no idea what the point of this is or if the bell ever rant in the first place. Oklahoma: “This Berlyn is tougher than Chinese algebra.” Wall walks out and Vampiro hits a release superplex. Only (not a wrestler) comes in for the double team and The Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) sets up a camel clutch with the chain for the pin.

 

Rating: N/A. The bell never rang so I don’t think this was an actual match. As for the match, I have no idea why it’s on the card as Vampy and Berlyn were ever chained together at any time. It wasn’t a good match or anything either as Wall was the one out there doing most of the work while a singer that most people probably didn’t know was beaten up. I don’t get the point of this at all.

 

Steve Williams comes in and beats down both guys post match. So THAT was the point of it.

 

Scott Hall (POP) talks about Rick Steiner not being here for the title vs. title match. Hall is the new TV Champion because Steiner can’t defend it. He was already the US Champion. Hall issues an open challenge for later.

 

Hennnig is leaving and is congratulated by some guys as he leaves.

 

Kimberly is here, an hour and thirty five minutes into the show.

 

Meng vs. Total Package

 

Luger is the Package for those of you uninitiated. He’s in the neck collar and hasn’t been wanting to wrestle at all lately so this is a continuation of that story. Luger gets his shirt ripped off quickly and there go the pants too. Again, WHAT IS WITH THE RIPPING OFF OF MEN’S CLOTHING??? Luger goes to the eyes and manages to suplex Meng despite having a bad neck. The suplex isn’t sold either so we’ll call it even.

 

They go outside for a bit and Luger hammers away as they come back in. Meng tries the Tongan Death Grip but he can’t get past the neck brace. Instead he steps on the throat while we talk about the main event. Powerslam gets two for Lex. He rams Meng’s head into the buckle. I guess when they say Total Package that doesn’t include intelligence as YOU DON’T HIT A SAMOAN IN THE HEAD. Meng starts his comeback as this is going in slow motion. Liz has some spray or something but it hits Luger instead. Meng takes the brace off and the Death Grip ends it.

 

Rating: D. In other words, Liz was Jimmy Hart, Luger was Brian Knobs and Meng was Norman Smiley. I’ll give Russo this: I’ve seen him go shorter than this between using the same style of an ending. This was another match where I have no idea what the point of this being on the PPV was but I’m sure it made sense at the time. I’m not being serious with that last line but I thought I’d try being nice for a change.

 

Bret says he’ll win and Luger walks behind him ranting about his loss. Bret doesn’t stop talking.

 

David Flair is “polishing his crowbar” for his time where he’ll try to hold Kimberly down against her will later or make her scream about how she can’t take it anymore.

 

US Title/TV Title: Scott Hall vs. ???

 

Booker T accepts the challenge. Hall is so over it’s incredible. Since it was more newsworthy when he was sober than the other way around though, that would never result in a world title run. He says Nash is coming and they’re going to have a party later. Hall rams his shoulders into Booker for that signature spot of his. Booker fires off a hook kick and is booed during the cover.

 

Side slam gets two. Hall gets knocked to the floor but comes back with a chokeslam for two. Much like any other match with it being thrown together on the fly like this, there’s not much to it because there’s no story or hatred to it. Fallaway slam puts Booker down and we go to the floor again. Off to a sleeper as the fans are looking at something to the right of the ring. Here are Jarrett and Creative Control AGAIN. They go after Booker, he fights them off, Booker gets caught in the Outsider’s Edge and Hall retains.

 

Rating: D+. Again, WHAT WAS THE POINT??? In this case I’m talking about the run-in. This is what, the third match they’ve been involved with? We get it: he’s trying to disrupt things. Can we please have a match that ends cleanly? Is it that much to ask? Oh wait Russo is running things SO OF COURSE IT IS. This gets really frustrating after awhile.

 

Midnight, the black Chyna ripoff, makes the save for the post match beatdown.

 

Lex can’t find Liz.

 

We recap Kimberly vs. David Flair. She wanted to sleep with David Flair but got Ric instead. David went insane because of it and wanted to beat her for some reason. I still don’t get the point of this.

 

Kimberly vs. David Flair

 

Let’s get this over with. She does look good at least. Kimberly stretches a lot to try to distract David. Within thirty seconds, Flair is kicked low (no effect) and the referee is shoved. David gets the crowbar and she gets on her knees in front of him. Crowd: “SUCK IT SUCK IT SUCK IT!” She reaches for his crotch and pulls his cup out so she can kick him in the balls. The fans are dead.

 

David picks up the crowbar but Kanyon comes out to beat him up. Now here’s DDP to hit the Diamond Cutter on David. His ribs are killing him though. DDP gets the crowbar but Arn Anderson comes out and takes the bar away from him. David hits Arn with the crowbar and leaves, I guess ending this.

 

Rating: N/A. Get me a wrestling match and I’ll rate it. Kimberly looked great.

 

Arn is taken out on a stretcher to fill in some time.

 

We recap Sid vs. Goldberg which is part of Sid’s Millennium Man deal where he was going to break Goldberg’s record for a win streak which turned into a comedy deal where chokeslamming people counted as wins and all that jazz. They kept having big brawls and the Streak might have been broken. It’s not mentioned but who cares about stuff like that I suppose.

 

Sid says he’ll never say I Quit. It’s an I Quit match if that wasn’t mentioned.

 

Sid Vicious vs. Goldberg

 

Sid jumps him during the entrance and the piped in chants begin. You can tell as no one is moving yet everyone is chanting. Sid is knocked to the floor and they slug it out again. Sid is WAY over and there’s a cobra clutch slam to Goldberg. Another cobra clutch slam sets up a chokeslam and make that a pair of them. Goldberg counters a choke into a cross armbreaker and is booed out of the building. Back to the arm and Goldberg isn’t sure what to do. Off to something resembling a cobra clutch and Sid is out cold in maybe 20 seconds to end it minus saying I Quit.

 

Rating: F. Well let’s see. In an I Quit match between two monsters, it was a standard Goldberg match with a sloppy looking hold to end it. What was the point of this? I know I’ve asked that a lot tonight but that’s what I leave most of these matches asking: what did that happen for? Nothing match and it does little for either guy.

 

Lex blames Liz for the loss and threatens her despite not being able to find her.

 

WCW World Title: Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit

 

Long feeling out process that leads to Bret hooking an armbar. The fans are for Bret but they’re not against Benoit if that makes sense. Benoit tries a comeback with various strikes but a sunset flip is rolled through into a Sharpshooter attempt. Benoit avoids that into a Crossface attempt but Bret grabs the rope. They’re still cool though and have a handshake.

 

Bret throws him to the floor and a fan jumps out of the crowd in a hockey jersey and face paint to beat up Benoit. It’s Malenko so Bret beats up him and mark run-in #1 since Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit in Canada with over 15 minutes isn’t enough to have a good match right? Benoit fights back with more basic stuff like a backdrop. Bret might have bad ribs so Benoit starts firing off the suplexes.

 

A tombstone looks to set up the swan dive which hits but here’s Scott Hall to take out the referee. Nash is here too with a chair but here’s Goldberg to fight them off. Hall and Hart fight up the aisle as Benoit is down. The Outsiders leave and we have a second referee. Goldberg jumps the Outsiders and beats them to the back as Benoit starts in on Bret’s knee. Since the world title match isn’t important enough we go split screen to see the Outsiders get pulled off Goldberg.

 

Ok NOW we can get into the title match, 12 minutes into it. Benoit hooks on the figure four and Bret’s knee has been worked over. Bret grabs the rope and goes to a comeback, hitting a backbreaker for two. A top rope superplex hits and both guys are down. Benoit’s back is getting messed up quickly here which means it’s Sharpshooter time soon. Benoit falls on top of Bret in a slam for two and goes to the outside to try to clear his head. He counters a suplex back in and hits the Rolling Germans. He goes for the Crossface but Bret rolls out. Bret grabs the legs into the Sharpshooter and Bret wins the title.

 

Rating: C+. Pretty good match but the run-ins crippled it just like the rest of the matches tonight. I mean seriously, you have two of the best ever out of Canada and this is what you decide to do to them? The match was kind of a mess on top of that as different parts were worked on until the ending where Bret picked the back which made sense. It’s a good match but it was running with an anchor.

 

Tony calls this “just another chapter in Bret’s career.” Nice way to sell this as a huge moment.

 

Overall Rating: D. I have no idea what they were going for here. The CONSTANT run-ins aren’t redeemed by a long and fairly good main event. How many times have you heard that about Impact in the past say two years? Two matches, as in the main event and the elimination tag are over ten minutes long. The idea is to have short matches on TV to set up the long ones on PPV. Russo never quite gets that, but there are a lot of things he doesn’t get. Nothing to see here for the most part.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 

Monday Nitro #118
Date: December 15, 1997
Location: Independence Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 9,320
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

We’re really getting close to Starrcade now with just two more Nitros to go before the biggest show in the company’s history. The majority of the big matches are set for the show now so we’re just finalizing things now before the pay per view. I’m not sure if we’re going to hear the rest of the card before then but it could go either way. Let’s get to it.

Apparently Bret Hart is here tonight. Cool. It’s also a three hour show. Not cool.

Here’s the NWO and they immediately look under the ring for Sting. Vincent looks into the rafters with binoculars in a bit that shouldn’t be as funny as it is. With the inspection out of the way, Bischoff introduces Chono who presumably talks trash in Japanese. Hennig says this is NWO country and he’s the best thing the NWO has ever produced. Hogan calls Sting a coward and says Sting will never come face him one on one. They were a bit more concise tonight.

Vincent vs. Ray Traylor

As soon as the bell rings Vincent walks into a spinebuster followed by a splash in the corner. The Flock arrives. A belly to back suplex puts Vincent down and the Boss Man Slam (now called Traylor Trash) ends this in a hurry.

Traylor wants to know where the NWO is. Based on what happened on Saturday Night, apparently they’re in a six man tag against him and the Steiners. Makes enough sense.

We see Flair’s comments from last week about how he’s the real best there is, was and ever will be.

Video on Nash vs. Giant for Starrcade.

The Nitro Girls dance at the announce table.

TV Title: Disco Inferno vs. Yuji Nagata

Disco is defending. Nagata starts firing off some kicks as Larry goes onto a BIG rant about how this town was built on the backs of various legends like Flair, Rhodes, Magnum and himself. The idea of grouping Larry with those men is hilarious. Anyway Disco pounds away but Sonny Onoo’s distraction lets Nagata suplex him down for two. A rolling Liger Kick puts Disco down and some shots to the throat have Disco in a lot of trouble.

Nagata gets two off a forearm to the face but walks into an atomic drop. A knee lift gets two for Disco as does a gordbuster. Sonny tries to interfere but gets caught in a Chartbuster (Stunner), followed by a Stun Gun and Chartbuster to Nagata to complete the Steve Austin Special and retain Disco’s title.

Rating: C. Not bad here as Disco’s on and off push continues. For a guy who was nothing but a comedy character when he started out, he had some serious success over the years. The match was nothing to see here but Disco looked confident and like someone who belonged a bit higher up on the card.

Fit Finlay vs. Dean Malenko

Eddie is on commentary again here. Dean stares him down during the entrances as Tony thinks that’s a challenge. Malenko takes Finlay down by the arm but gets caught in a quick headlock. A slam gets two on Dean and it’s off to a nerve hold. Dean fights up as Eddie calls Dean a very boring person. That’s the understatement of the century. Dean snapmares him down and puts on a chinlock with a knee in the back.

We hear about a tag match Eddie and Dean were in a few weeks back with Eddie ranting about how the people wanted to see the Frog Splash and not the Texas Cloverleaf. Finlay fights back with some forearms to the face but Dean whips him into the barricade. Back in and Dean can’t powerbomb him as Finlay kicks him in the forehead. Eddie: “Dean looked like his wife told him they were going to have twins.”

Finlay hits the rolling fireman’s carry senton for two but Dean comes back with a rolling cradle for two. Eddie leaves the broadcast booth, thereby taking away the most entertaining part of the match. Guerrero heads to ringside and distracts Dean out of the tiger bomb. Finlay tombstones Dean down for the pin.

Rating: C. Decent match here with hilarious commentary from Eddie. As far as I can tell the Cruiserweight Title match isn’t set yet for the PPV but you can tell it’s coming. Either way it’s a very entertaining feud and the match is bound to be a fun one. Finlay continues to be that kind of veteran you can put in this spot and get a decent match out of him, which is very valuable.

Video on the NWO beating up Roddy Piper, who hasn’t been around in months.

La Parka/Psychosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Juventud Guerrera

La Parka is in yellow for some reason here. Juvy and Psychosis start things off with Guerrera hitting a top rope rana to take over early. A standing version does the same but La Parka kicks him in the back of the head to slow Juvy down. Apparently this is under Lucha Rules, meaning going to the floor is the same as a tag. Psychosis hits a guillotine legdrop followed by a belly to belly for two on Guerrera. La Parka powerbombs him down for two more as we’re actually getting the tag formula out of this.

Psychosis goes up but accidentally dropkicks La Parka. That’s not enough for a tag again though as Psychosis pops up and decks Rey to keep Juvy in trouble. La Parka misses a splash in the corner and it’s finally hot tag to Rey, although the announcers would rather talk about Bischoff. Rey ducks under both guys, allowing Juvy to hit a springboard cross body. Everything breaks down and the heels are both kicked to the floor, allowing Rey and Juvy to hit stereo flip dives to take them out.

Back in and Juvy hits what the Hardys would call Poetry in Motion for two on Psychosis. La Parka is sent into Psychosis before Rey is launched into a rana for two on the guy in yellow. Juvy and Psychosis go on top with Psychosis trying a slam off the top, only to be turned into a kind of small package off the top for two for Juvy. Guerrera gets crotched while loading up a Doomsday Device but Rey hits a springboard hurricanrana to the floor to take out La Parka. The 450 from Juvy is enough to end Psychosis.

Rating: B. Take four guys, let them go nuts for seven minutes, listen to the crowd cheer a lot. It worked for the six man matches and it worked here in the four man version. Mysterio and Guerrera worked pretty well together although I don’t remember them teaming up all that much over the years until a bit at the end of WCW.

Here’s Doug Dillinger who apparently used to be a Charlotte cop. They bring out Arn Anderson to a BIG ovation. Anderson calls this place his home and says that the fans deserve to see Ric Flair, so here’s Naitch. Flair says that Anderson is about to make him cry but there are more important things to deal with at the moment. Apparently there was a fund set up today for fallen Charlotte cops and WCW has donated $15,000 to it to start. That’s rather cool. Flair presents them with a check, but now it’s time to talk about Hennig. There goes Flair’s coat and he wants Hennig tonight, because the NWO can’t beat him in Charlotte.

JJ comes out to talk about the stipulations Bischoff wants. Eric shows up and says he wants punches and kicks to be legal. JJ says that’s fine as long as submissions count. I know WCW had some weird rules at times but I’m pretty sure submissions have always counted.

Nitro Girls.

Here’s Hall for a match but first of all we need the survey. For once, the fans are solidly WCW.

Scott Hall vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho grabs a pair of quick rollups for two each and the Lionsault hits for two more. Jericho dives into the fallaway slam though and Hall takes over. Hall counters a hiptoss and hits a BIG chokeslam for no cover. After doing the Giant imitation it’s the Outsider’s Edge and we’re done quick.

Heenan comes in on commentary.

Meng vs. Steve McMichael

There’s no Mongo so we cut to the back and McMichael is out cold with Goldberg standing over him. JJ comes up to yell at him and Goldberg volunteers to go fight Meng. As he comes to the ring though, Mongo pops up and a brawl breaks out.

Tag Titles: Scott Norton/Konnan vs. Steiner Brothers

Blast it with the two Scotts. For the sake of simplicity, Scott Steiner is Scott and Scott Norton is Norton. The Steiners clear the ring early on so let’s talk about Bret Hart. Konnan starts with Scott and is gorilla pressed with ease. A belly to belly sends Konnan into the corner and it’s off to Rick vs. Norton. Norton charges into a boot in the corner but comes back with a big clothesline to take Rick down.

Rick nails a Steiner line of his own and goes up top for a top rope clothesline for two. He goes up again but pulls a Flair and is slammed down by Norton. After some interference from Konnan, Norton’s shoulder breaker is good for two. Off to Konnan who walks into a belly to back suplex as everything breaks down. Scott comes back in to load up the Frankensteiner but Vincent runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Another not great match with another run in ending. For some reason this doesn’t surprise me in the least anymore and it’s already getting tiresome. Do we really need to protect Norton and Konnan from the tag team champions/ Oh wait Vincent already lost tonight so we can’t have another NWO pinfall loss, because then people would stop viewing them as a threat. Or something like that I guess.

Booker T vs. Randy Savage

Stevie was either about to be injured or already was injured so Booker’s singles push is on the verge of happening soon. Booker is in regular tights now and not the traditional Harlem Heat attire. He takes Savage down in a hurry and cranks on the arm but Savage comes back with right hands in the corner. Booker knocks him to the floor and then into the front row, only to throw him back into the ring a few seconds later.

Back in and Booker spends too much time posing but manages to slam Savage down. An elbow misses but Booker spins up and hits the Harlem side kick. Savage rolls to the floor as this is one sided so far. Booker misses a splash onto the barricade and momentum shifts in a hurry. After dropping Booker chest first onto the barricade, Savage throws him back inside for two.

A fan tries to get in but Savage drills him in the head. Booker spins kicks him down and Savage accidentally bumps the referee. The ax kick hits Savage but Liz breaks up the missile dropkick, allowing Savage to knock Booker to the floor. A chair shot to Booker’s head allows the big elbow to end Mr. T.

Rating: C+. This was a good solid rub for the single Booker as he beat up Savage for a good four minutes out there. Savage winning was fine though as Booker was nowhere near ready to be a real threat to him yet. Liz getting involved was always strange to see given how meek she was back in the WWF. This is on Best of Nitro Volume 2 I believe.

Chris Benoit vs. Riggs

Again this was supposed to be Raven but it’s another substitution. Benoit goes to look for Raven but gets jumped by Riggs instead. Back inside and Benoit gets up an elbow before firing off those hard chops. Benoit’s eyes look awesome here. Chris drapes him stomach first across the top rope before headbutting him down on the mat. As in Riggs is on the mat and Benoit leans down to headbutt him.

A chop sends Riggs to the floor again but he gets in a shot on Benoit to take over. The fans are firmly behind Benoit as he gets his knees up to block a Riggs splash back inside. A front suplex puts Riggs down and there’s the Swan Dive into the Crossface for the submission. He snapped that hold on very fast and it looked sweet.

Rating: C+. This story is growing on me and the match that would result would be amazing. This feud should have elevated Benoit WAY up the ladder but of course he would be back down in the middle of the card after it was done because of various factors we’ll get to later. Good performance from Benoit here.

Post match Benoit yells at the Flock before diving on them, only to get beaten down and put in the Rings of Saturn.

Here’s JJ again to talk to Bischoff, this time about who is referee. They go back and forth between WCW referees and NWO guys with Dillon eventually agreeing to it being an NWO guy as long as he gets to pick which one. Cue Bret Hart who says he’d be honored to be referee, so Bischoff says $7.5 million. Hart says he knows what it’s like to be screwed by a referee before turning around to show a Hart Foundation jacket and leaving. To clarify, about a month after the Montreal Screwjob, the hottest name in wrestling is going to be a referee in a match between Eric Bischoff and Larry Zbyszko. Let that sink in for a minute.

Post break Gene calls out Lex Luger but gets Bagwell instead. Bagwell says Luger can’t beat him so here’s Luger, saying that he was in the production truck asking for a match with Bagwell. Buff gives about five excuses but after a slap we’re ready to go.

Buff Bagwell vs. Lex Luger

Luger runs Buff over to start and backdrops him down. A few clotheslines put Bagwell down again before Lex stomps away. Back up and Lex misses a charge into the corner so Bagwell can stomp away a bit as well. Luger easily fights back and hits his usual clotheslines and powerslam, but here are Norton and Vincent…..not for the DQ. Luger fights them off and clotheslines Bagwell to the floor and that’s the DQ. Oh they’re trying to trick us with the DQ’s now. Match was nothing.

Ric Flair vs. Curt Hennig

Before Flair comes out Hennig challenges anyone in the audience to come fight him. He goes on and on for a bit about how he’s the US Champion and all that jazz while insulting Flair. After a break here’s Ric for the fight….and here’s Hall for the DQ maybe ten seconds later. So much for that idea.

Flair manages to fight off the NWO for a bit but Hennig takes him down and puts him in the Figure Four. DDP, Luger and the Steiners come out and the NWO eventually runs off. Page challenges Hennig as Flair limps around. That leg injury was the reason he wasn’t on Starrcade, which is a questionable decision to say the least if it’s not a legit injury.

The Steiners and Luger take Flair to the back as more fans try to run in but are quickly dispatched. The rest of the NWO comes out so Page bails through the crowd. Hogan and company get in the ring and call out the Stinger. The lights flicker and Sting shows up on the WCW sign at the entrance. He hops down and walks to the ring as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: B-. Pretty good show overall but I’m really dreading the move to three hours. They’re already having trouble filling in three hours and that’s what we’re going to get all the time, PLUS two hours of Thunder every week? It’s almost like that’s way too much material for one company to produce. Good thing this happened before and no other company on top of the business would try something that stupid again right? Good show this week but it felt long.

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Monday Nitro #117
Date: December 8, 1997
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

We’re into the final three shows before Starrcade so the card really should start to fill out now. The main event tonight is Hall vs. Page which has a history from the early 90s which I doubt we’ll hear about. Other than that we’re hopefully going to get some new matches announced for the PPV as the card is pretty thin at the moment. Let’s get to it.

The announcers talk about Larry vs. Bischoff for a bit to open things up.

Konnan vs. Ray Traylor

Konnan immediately runs but gets punched down in the corner with ease. A powerslam sends Konnan to the floor but he pulls Traylor to the floor for a quick slugout. Ray is sent into the steps and Konnan pounds him down back inside. A DDT gets two for Konnan….and there go the lights. They come back up a few moments later and Konnan is out cold. Ray cautiously puts his boot on Konnan’s chest for the win. Not enough to rate here but it was dull while it lasted.

We see Rude helping in the beatdown of Page last week.

Steve McMichael vs. Barbarian

Mongo grabs a headlock to start and hits a quick shoulder block to take over. A hard shot to the back of Barbarian’s head actually hurts him and we cut to the Flock in the crowd. Barbie comes back with a big boot to send Mongo to the floor followed by some whips into the barricade and apron. Back in and a kind of pumphandle slam gets two on Mongo and Barbarian goes up top. His flying clothesline jumps into a shot to the face and Mongo grabs the tombstone out of nowhere for the pin.

Rating: D. After a year and a half, Mongo should be better than he is here. He’s been in the ring with some solid talent over this time and he’s just not getting any better. Barbarian is a generic heel but he’s not bad in the ring. Mongo dragged him WAY down here and the whole Mongo experiment is clearly not working.

Post match Meng runs in and puts Mongo in the Death Grip.

Gene suggests that no one respects Disco for losing to Jackie. Disco says he’s tired of hearing about it. I think everyone is tired of hearing about Jackie in general.

Buff Bagwell comes out and challenges Luger because he’s buff and we’re in Buffalo. Seriously, that’s what he said.

Prince Iaukea vs. Dean Malenko

Eddie comes out to do commentary again. After a quick feeling out process to start, Malenko snaps off a good dropkick and goes after the knee. Prince fights up and hits a quick clothesline to send Dean to the apron. Back in and they trade nearfalls as Eddie is ripping into Dean like there’s no tomorrow. A double clothesline puts both guys down but it’s Dean up first for the double underhook powerbomb and the Cloverleaf for the fast tap out. This was just a step above a squash.

Nitro Girls.

Nash says he’s the real giant of pro wrestling and that Giant is one dimensional.

Giant says he’s the real giant of pro wrestling and that he’s going to chokeslam Nash.

Nitro Girls.

Chris Benoit vs. Lodi

Again this is supposed to be Raven but he’s not here tonight so it’s the yet to be named Lodi instead. Tony has a name for him and calls him Load-Eye. Benoit knocks him off the apron to start and chops Lodi up against the barricade. They head inside with Benoit talking trash to the Flock and chopping the skin off of Lodi’s chest. Benoit hits his hard clothesline to take Lodi down and loads up a superplex. The Swan Dive and Crossface end this destruction as Benoit impresses again.

The Flock doesn’t run in because Raven isn’t here to lead them. Benoit grabs a mic and tells Raven to get out here and take a beating like a man. He promises to teach Raven what abuse is really about.

Here’s Ric Flair who says Hall, Nash and Hogan would get theirs at Starrcade. As for Hennig, Flair wants him in a cage at the PPV. Gene asks about Bret Hart and Flair calls him the real greatest of all time and invites Bret to come to Nitro. Oh wait actually Flair is the best ever and comparing Bret to Flair is like comparing John Elway to Jim Kelly. Hey look who is in the front row: Jim Kelly!

Randy Savage vs. Hugh Morrus

Savage knocks Jim Kelly’s hat off and Morrus jumps Macho to start. Kelly and teammate Bruce Smith get in some shots of their own and this is all before the bell. They head inside and I think we’re underway. Morrus hits a running clothesline in the corner and shouts insults about the NWO.

A second charge into the corner misses and Savage dumps him to the floor. Back in and Hugh hits a powerslam for two but Savage avoids a top rope elbow. Randy slams him down for his own elbow but pulls Morrus up at two. Another elbow hits but the lights go out again. About a minute later the lights come on and Savage is out with a Sting mask on. Morrus wins for no apparent reason.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here other than angle advancement at the end. Morrus was one of those guys who was always around but never really did anything of note. This was one of those things he was good for though as Savage got to beat him up until the stuff at the end of the match.

Rude and Bischoff head to the announce table and say they don’t buy Schiavone’s nonsense. Granted I don’t think anyone else did but I get their point. They threaten the announcers and make them do the see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil poses. Ok then.

TV Title: Saturn vs. Disco Inferno

The announcers say we have to take a break because they’re scared for their lives. Back with Saturn throwing Disco around as Tony spends the first few minutes talking about how they need to not ignore the match. Saturn is knocked to the floor and Disco sends him into the steps, only to have Saturn drop him onto the top rope back inside. The champ cranks on Disco’s arms before hitting a high angle suplex for no cover.

A top rope elbow misses and we head back to the floor again with Saturn sending him into the barricade. Disco Stuns Lodi over the barricade before pounding away on Saturn in the corner. Saturn hits a neckbreaker to take over again, followed by a big suplex for two. Disco counters a powerbomb out of nowhere and Stuns Saturn for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. I have no idea what the point of this was. We spend two months making fun of Disco for losing to Jackie and then give him a clean pin over a killer like Saturn? That’s supposed to make us forget about everything he’s done for the last few months? The match wasn’t bad but the booking makes you wonder what WCW was thinking at this point. I guess the idea was that Raven wasn’t there to guide him, but……Disco Inferno?

We look at another Nitro Party winner.

Nitro Girls.

Buff Bagwell vs. Lex Luger

Bagwell immediately sends him to the floor and poses only to be run over with a clothesline. We get a pose off followed by Luger pounding him into the corner and hiptossing Buff down and flexing some more. Buff comes back with a clothesline and a belly to back suplex before pounding on Luger’s back. Off to a camel clutch but Luger fights up and slams him onto the mat as Norton comes out. Luger makes his comeback with his usual stuff (clotheslines, atomic drop, forearm) to send Buff to the floor and as he fights off the NWO, Buff gets counted out.

Rating: D. Bagwell just isn’t at this level yet and Lex Luger isn’t going to be the right guy to bring him up at all. This is the second week in a row where these two have done nothing of note and it’s not really bringing Bagwell up the card at all. Then again no one ever would despite the guy being around for like ten years.

Video on Sting.

Scott Hall vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Main event time. Hall does the survey as the announcers complain about being threatened too much. As the camera goes to the regular shot of the ring to open the match, someone holds up a HUGE Undertaker cutout which made my head snap around when I saw it. Hall starts with the driving shoulders and we actually hear about Page managing Hall back in the day. They fight over a top wristlock and Hall is sent down to the mat.

Page pounds away in the corner and gets two off a clothesline. Hall comes back with the middle rope bulldog for two of his own and stomps away a bit. The fallaway slam hits for two as the fans are lethargic at the moment. Off to the abdominal stretch as we hear that if Zbyszko beats Bischoff at Starrcade he gets a shot at Hall. As is the custom though, Page counters into a stretch of his own, only to be hiptossed over. The Outsider’s Edge is countered into a backdrop and some atomic drops have Hall in trouble. Page pancakes him down but here’s Hennig for the DQ.

Rating: C-. They were clearly going through the motions out there with a bunch of signature stuff from Hall and that’s about it. This is the problem with WCW anymore: everything is just filling time to get to the run in and the story advancement post match. Why would I get into a match and the near falls when there’s probably a 90% chance it’s going to end in a run-in?

The beatdown is on and Page is in big trouble. Even Hogan and Bischoff come out for this one. Another Sting dummy falls through the ring and even Hogan points it out this time. Hogan talks trash and has the NWO pull the Sting dummy out of the hole. Hollywood keeps talking trash to the dummy and the dummy stands up. It’s the real Sting cleaning house and Hogan is terrified to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Lame matches, little storyline advancement, questionable booking in what advancement we did get. Yep this is the WCW that I knew was coming and didn’t want to have to sit through. They’re clearly just coasting until Starrcade, which is in three weeks and has three matches announced if my math is correct. Not a good show here and you can see the cracks starting to come out here.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 25, 2013
Location: Kovalchick Complex, Indiana, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz, Todd Keneley

We’re live again in a city I’ve never heard of. After last week the main story is that AJ walked away while the Bikers beat down James Storm. That doesn’t mean Styles has joined up with them but it does mean that the story must continue. Other than that it’s hard to say what’s coming because nothing of note seems to be continuing over to this week. At least we’re live though. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from last week with Ray saying he wanted to see Hulk face to face tonight.

The Bikers arrive and are met by security but Ray shouts his way past them.

Here’s James Storm to open things up. He says he’s still feeling the effects of the fight last week and here’s Styles standing in the crowd. Storm says he isn’t going to cry over spilled milk because he’s a beer drinker. However, he does have something to say about the Aces and 8’s who jumped him last week. If they want a fight, all they have to do is ask him. If any of them want a fight one on one, come see him.

Instead he gets Bad Influence who were also attacked by the bikers last week. Hogan may not have an answer to Aces and 8’s, but the two of them do. The magic number to stop Aces and 8’s is four, as in Fourtune. Kaz says AJ needs to stop looking like a Twilight vampire because they forgive him. He offers to reform Fourtune to fight the bikers but AJ doesn’t move.

Storm doesn’t seem interested so Kaz calls him irrelevant. The brawl is on and Storm gets beaten down and left laying after a low blow. Here come Aces and 8’s and Anderson loads up a powerbomb through a table, but Joseph Park comes in for a save. He gets beaten down as well. AJ is still standing stoically as Knucks and Doc load up a double chokeslam on Park….but Bully calls them off. Instead it’s a 3D through the table (kind of as Ray never got the Cutter correctly) and the bikers stand tall.

Post break Park is taken out on a stretcher and Aces and 8’s are still in the ring. Ray talks about how no one can stop them and Hogan has until the end of the show to answer the challenge.

Tenay tells us that Hogan has left the building for no apparent reason.

We get a video on Mickie James beating Tessmacher to earn the title shot.

Taryn Terrell vs. Tara

Before the bell, Hogan is here so apparently he was off doing something. No Jesse with Tara here but she jumps Taryn to start. Terrell comes back with a jumping neckbreaker and some hair drags, only to be draped over the top rope to stop her cold. Tara sends her chest first into the buckle and slams Taryn face first into the mat a few times. Off to a bridging Indian Deathlock by Tara followed by some rollups for two.

Tara yells at referee ODB before choking Taryn in the air. A slingshot sends Taryn’s throat into the bottom rope for two more but Tara misses the slingshot legdrop. Taryn goes up top but misses a cross body, allowing Tara to hit the spinning side slam for no cover. Tara loads up the shaky moonsault but gets rolled up for the pin at 6:36.

Rating: C-. The match sucked for the most part but I’ve seen worse. The most impressive thing about this was probably Taryn. Yeah she sucks in the ring, but considering she’s only there for her looks and how good she fills out a tiny pair of shorts, I’ve seen FAR worse. Not terrible here but too long.

Robbie tries to fire up Jesse for his match later with Rob Terry. Once Jesse wins, he goes down in history with the great Bro’s of all time: George Washington, Al Bundy and Oprah. Jesse says he doesn’t need Robbie’s help.

Rob Terry vs. Jesse Godderz

Terry runs over Jesse to start as I guess the battle of the Rob’s is just continuing. Robbie E tries to distract Terry but Rob throws Jesse around by the throat. A second try at the distraction works a bit better and Jesse gets in some shots to the back and a dropkick. Jesse goes up but jumps into a powerslam for two as Robbie grabs the referee’s feet. Jesse tries to jump Terry again but gets launched into Robbie instead. Back in and the big spinebuster gets the pin on Jesse at 2:55.

Bad Influence offers Roode a spot in Fourtune. He thinks about it and Aries is lurking behind a wall.

We look at the Full Metal Mayhem match from a few weeks ago. Apparently Hardy is considering walking away from wrestling due to his injuries in that match.

Chris Sabin is coming back from injury.

Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

Before the match Aries talks to Roode in the back and asks if Fourtune is what Roode wants to do. If they were so awesome, why did they just break up so fast? If they’re so great, why was Aries the one that beat him for the world title? Daniels has replaced Tenay on commentary for this match. Aries rides Chavo down to start and spins around on him, only to walk into a dropkick. Off to Hernandez for a splash for two on Roode before the delayed suplex puts Bobby down again.

SuperMex misses his running dive from the ramp and Roode pounds away. Off to Aries with the slingshot hilo followed by an Eddie dance for two. Roode comes back in for a Russian legsweep for two and here’s Aries with a front facelock. Hernandez makes a comeback with Daniels blaming Aries for the mistakes and calling Roode a ring sergeant.

Chavo tries the Three Amigos but has to settle for a spinning DDT on Roode. Everything breaks down but a Kazarian distraction lets Roode hit the spinebuster, only to have Hernandez kick Bobby into the ropes, crotching Aries in the process. Kaz interferes again and Daniels sneaks in….and accidentally take out Roode. Chavo Frog Splashes Roode to retain at 8:55.

Rating: C+. Bad Influence and Aries/Roode are some of the most entertaining guys in the sport right now, so we can’t get the tag belts off Chavo/Hernandez because…..someone complete that sentence for me. Why in the world do we have to sit through those two with the belts for so long? Their matches are pretty good but other than that there’s NOTHING of interest about them.

Matt Morgan says he’ll explain his solution to TNA’s problems in the ring and Hogan is invited.

We look at Hogan’s mistakes over the last few weeks.

Here’s Morgan in the ring to talk about Hogan’s mistakes. It started with Ray being allowed into the Hogan family and then naming him #1 contender to the world title. Morgan talks about Sting and Hogan being best friends for twenty plus years (I laughed out loud) and causing Hardy to be stretchered out. Cue Hulk for the showdown.

The fans chant for Hogan as Morgan says Hulk is out of backup. Tonight the bikers are going to beat Hogan down so Morgan offers himself as the solution to Aces and 8’s. He says that if Hulk gives him the chance, he’ll Carbon Footprint Ray’s head into the fifth row. However, there’s a catch: Morgan has to get the title shot at Slammiversary. Hulk says he Matt had him believing but at the end of the day, Morgan has done too much to Hogan for give him his shot. Hogan: “I never heard Andre the Giant whining.” Uh Hulk…..where were you when Wrestlemania III was being set up?

Bully makes the Bikers swear to not interfere.

You can vote for who gets an X Title shot.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky

The fans are extra excited for some reason here. Feeling out process to start until Velvet (defending here) hits a kick to the back and a low dropkick for two. She seems to be favoring her recently injured knee though. The knee gives out in the middle of an Irish whip and Mickie gets a fast two count. A kneeling leg lock has Velvet in trouble and we take a break.

Back with Mickie still cranking on the knee but Sky uses the good leg to kick out of the corner. The champion’s knee is suddenly FINE and she fights back with clotheslines and chops. A hard whip takes out the knee but Velvet hits a quick Russian legsweep for two. Mickie gets the same off the Thesz Press from the top and backdrops out of In Yo Face. The MickieDT is countered but the knee gives out again. Mickie dropkicks the knee….and is small packaged for the pin to keep the title on Velvet at 11:10. It’s as quick as it sounds.

Rating: D+. The story was fine but Velvet continues to be embarrassing in the ring. The knee suddenly being fine was really annoying and the ending was botched beyond belief. I couldn’t tell who got the pin until the music was playing and that’s not a good sign at all. Nothing to see here and I have no idea why they’re keeping the title on Velvet other than to give it to Terrell eventually.

Bully Ray says he’s finishing Hogan tonight.

Hulk is talking to Brooke and we get some bad acting from the daughter. Hulk promises he’ll be right back and has to do this alone.

Here’s Ray in the ring to list off everyone Aces and 8’s have taken out. There’s only Hogan left so get out here right now. Ray gets in Hogan’s face and says Hogan fears him because Ray reminds Hulk of himself. Ray says they’re both the last of a dying breed but Hulk says Hulkamania will never die.

The champ spits in Hogan’s face so Hogan tears the shirt open and points the finger in Hulk’s face. Ray points a finger in Hulk’s face and the fight is on. Ray of course runs and says surround the ring. Hogan is in trouble but the lights go out and Sting appears for the save. The Bikers run away and the old guys stare each other down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t their best work. The Hogan stuff was by far the focus of the show and Hulk continued to prove why he’s kind of an idiot as GM. The wrestling was nothing special at all and this did nothing to make me want to see where this is going. It all feels like we’ve seen this before, which we have although it was in WCW. Now that story was sixteen years ago so it’s more than fair grounds to copy it, but at least give us something different. Not much to see here.

Results

Taryn Terrell b. Tara – Rollup

Rob Terry b. Jesse Godderz – Spinebuster

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode – Frog Splash to Roode

Velvet Sky b. Mickie James – Small Package

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at: