Turning Point 2006: Total Ring Time – 75 Minutes

Turning Point 2006
Date: December 10, 2006
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

Wrestlemania is over so it’s time to go back to TNA land. This is the final PPV of 2006 but as usual I’ll be going backwards for the next few shows. The main event here is Angle vs. Joe II after they hotshotted the first match in their series, which we’ll get to next time. The other main event is Abyss defending the world title against Sting and Christian, which I think is the same match that happened next month at Final Resolution. Let’s get to it.

The opening video….is a puppet show? I think it’s supposed to be Christmas themed but it’s really weird and turns into a highlight reel of the feuds. It’s 2006 so TNA didn’t have this down yet. Now there’s a fire extinguisher putting the video out. Ok then.

Senshi vs. Alex Shelley vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Austin Starr vs. Jay Lethal

This is the opening match of the Paparazzi Championship Series which is something that I don’t think anyone really got the definitive idea behind. This is an elimination match and Nash, the guy who started the whole thing, is on commentary. Starr is Aries with longer hair. Nash talks about bringing Jerry Lynn into the X-Division back in Mexico City in 61. Only two in the ring at a time and Lethal starts vs. Shelley.

Shelley crawls on his knees as Tenay explains the PCS as best as he can. Shelley goes into the ropes and gets the rope kicked into him. He tries to show the wound to Starr who isn’t that interested. The winner of this gets 5 Series points, the runner up gets 4 and so on down the line. Shelley takes him to the mat and tags in Starr who gets dropkicked. Lethal tags in Dutt who elbows him down for two.

Alex comes in again and takes over for a bit, only to get punched down by Lethal. Dutt and Lethal are a semi-regular tag team so the chemistry makes sense. Nash accuses Dutt of being on steroids in a funny bit. Dutt walks the ropes but Starr crotches him from the apron. Nash: “What do you think feels worse: that or a paper cut?” Senshi comes in and is SERIOUS. He’s the wild card in this as he’s not affiliated with either “team”.

Dutt sends him to the floor and sets for a dive but Starr takes his head off with a clothesline. Starr sets for a dive to the floor but Shelley tags himself in and they yell at each other. Lethal dives on Senshi as they argue and the heel team decides on stereo suicide dives, but Shelley stops so Starr can dive alone. Back in Dutt DDTs Shelley for two. Nash talks about winning silver in the 68 Olympics in two man synchronized swimming as Dutt DDTs Shelley and puts him in the camel clutch for the submission.

Down to four now and Jay comes in to fight his partner. Dutt runs to the ropes and Senshi tags himself in. Lethal doesn’t see it so Senshi can kick his head off for the pin to get rid of Lethal. Off to Starr with the Pendulum Elbow. Jumping elbow gets two. Senshi comes in and fires off a bunch of kicks for two on Dutt. It’s basically a handicap match at this point. Dutt avoids a charge in the corner and hits a missile dropkick for two on Starr.

He takes Senshi down as well and a Lionsault gets two on Starr. There’s the camel clutch to Starr but Senshi makes the save. Brainbuster is countered and Dutt gets some two counts, but the second brainbuster attempt works, setting up the 450 to pin Dutt. Down to two now and they slug it out. Senshi hits a springboard enziguri for two. Starr escapes a move called the Crusher and loads up the 450 but Shelley comes out for a distraction. Senshi rolls up Starr for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not bad here as all five guys were pretty good. There’s nothing great in the whole thing but it was entertaining enough. The PCS thing went on for awhile and got funny after awhile, but I don’t think it ever really accomplished anything. I guess it was a BCS parody, but it went on WAY too long.

Eric Young is worried about his bikini contest with Tracy. JB tells Eric to man up.

We recap the Roode vs. Young feud. Roode wants the fans to love him so he wants to sign Young to work for him.

Time for the bikini contest. Brooks looks good, Eric wears a t-shirt with a bikini on it. Roode protests so Eric takes the shirt off to reveal Spongebob boxer briefs. Those don’t count so he takes those off to reveal a Spongebob Speedo. WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS??? Young wins and Roode jumps him. Roode yells at Brooks, telling her to do whatever it takes to sign Young or she’ll be the one that gets fired.

We go to the back where the interviewer is going to talk to “Michael Hickenbottom and Paul Levesque”, known as Dumb to the Extreme. Big Fat Oily Guy comes up to visit them. I HATE this stuff. It’s not funny, it’s not original, and NO ONE BUYS IT. But that didn’t stop TNA from doing this for MONTHS.

Quick recap of the X-Title match. It’s Sabin vs. Daniels with Lynn as referee. Lynn mentored Sabin and now is worried about what he’s created.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Christopher Daniels

This is the second match and we’re 40 minutes into this show. But hey, we got SPONGEBOB! Jerry Lynn is guest referee and was disrespected by Sabin lately. Feeling out process to start and Sabin controls with a headlock. There’s no hair to grab to cheat so he grabs the ear. Daniels speeds things up and takes him to the mat with an armbar. He rams Sabin’s face into the mat a few times for good measure.

Suplex sets up a slingshot moonsault for two. Sabin counters with an amateur based stomp to the foot and a drop toehold to put Daniels in 619 position. A springboard missile dropkick puts Daniels on the floor as the challenger is in control. They go to the ramp with Daniels having his back worked over. Back in the ring Daniels is sat down in the ring and Sabin hits a running single boot to the back of the head. Cool move. It was like a one footed dropkick.

Off to a neck crank which Daniels breaks pretty quickly and hooks a backslide for two. The fans chant for the Fallen Angel but Sabin chokes him between the ropes. Legdrop to the back of the neck gets two. We get a dueling chant which is about 95/5 in favor of Daniels. STO gets the champ a break and he pounds away. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. Out to the floor again and Sabin goes back first into the barricade.

Something like a baseball slide puts Sabin down and Daniels drops an elbow from the top to the floor for two. Back in Sabin dropkicks him down and hits a pretty sweet springboard tornado DDT for two. Daniels comes back with a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. A Death Valley Driver gets two. Downward Spiral sets up a Koji Clutch but Sabin gets a rope. Release Rock Bottom sets up the BME and it’s over.

Rating: B-. I was getting into this more during the end, but Daniels dominated him at the end and took some of the drama out of it. Good match though and Sabin was always good for a watch in his solo stuff. Daniels against someone other than AJ is ALWAYS an upgrade and the fans were into him a lot here.

Lynn demands that Sabin shake Daniels’ hand but when Sabin won’t do it, Daniels gets in Lynn’s face and earns himself a slap for some reason. This feud went on for a good while.

We run down the rest of the card almost an hour into a show.

Here’s Cornette for an announcement of some sort. He brings out some baseball players, one of whom has a book. One of the EVIL players rips some pages out of it, until Lance Hoyt makes the save. This drew a loud WE WANT WRESTLING chant.

We recap AJ vs. Rhyno, which was the start of AJ’s heel turn and subsequent dive into being a clueless schmuck. Rhyno had said he was trying to help him and AJ didn’t like it.

Rhyno says he sees selfishness in AJ, which he used to see in himself. AJ jumps him during the promo and we lose the camera so we go to a shot of the crowd. Ok now they’re brawling outside. Their match is next but this is just pre-match brawling. They head into the arena with Rhyno throwing him into a wall as they brawl in the crowd. AJ comes back and pounds away but Rhyno punches him down the steps. This is what we call padding because there are only six matches plus the bikini deal, so they don’t have enough wrestling to fill in a three hour show. AJ tries a charge but gets backdropped to ringside. Hey a bell.

AJ Styles vs. Rhyno

AJ pounds on him and whips him into the corner so hard he rolls forward. Off to a surfboard hold and AJ does his drop down into a dropkick sequence. Styles knocks Rhyno to the floor but won’t dive on him because the fans would like it too much. Instead he slides to the floor and tries a springboard off the barricade, only to jump into a belly to belly onto the concrete. Back in a spinebuster kills AJ for two.

They slug it out and we finally hear about how this is about AJ growing up poor and wanting to shake that mantle off himself, which Rhyno can relate to but AJ didn’t want his help. Rhyno throws him to the floor and AJ hurts his knee. The match stops now as the medics take a look at AJ. He says he can finish but the knee buckles. The referee goes to make the match stoppage announcement…and Styles rolls in rolls Rhyno up for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was going really well until the stoppage in the middle of it for the knee injury. The fans thought it was awesome and while I’m not sure I agree with that, it was certainly a good match but the run time (seven and a half minutes, with two or so being spent on the injury) hurts it a lot. Still pretty fun though.

AJ dances on the ramp.

More stupid DX nonsense with “Vince” here. This actually makes my eyes roll.

Rhyno and AJ brawl even more. This filler stuff is REALLY getting annoying.

We recap the flag match, which is American’s Most Wanted vs. AMW for national supremacy I think. LAX points out that they’re American citizens with the right to burn a flag, which AMW doesn’t care for.

LAX says they’ll win and get to hang their flag and have the Mexican national anthem played.

LAX vs. American’s Most Wanted

LAX has the tag titles but this is FOR HONOR. You win by hanging your country’s flag, even though both teams come in with the other’s flag. But EVEN THAT is overly complicated because the flags are already hanging in the corners. I think you have to steal the others’ flag and replace the one in your corner with that one. Brawl to start but Gail Kim, AMW’s chick, hits a GREAT moonsault to the floor to take out LAX. Storm goes for the American flag, which I guess is how you win.

James gets put in the Tree of Woe but Homicide can’t drive a chair into his face. Harris won’t free him though as he needs to dive on Hernandez. Yeah apparently you have to steal your own flag (as in the one that represents your country, not the own flag you brought with you, so it’s your flag but not YOUR flag) and put it in the corner that’s designated yours’. There’s a ladder involved for some reason, despite the fact that you could stand on the top rope and get the flag.

LAX is dominating as Homicide hits Three Amigos for a big reaction. Gail offers a distraction and Harris superplexes Homicide down. Hernandez pulls down the Mexican flag and now we’re told that you have to hang the flag above the ring like it’s in a ladder match. Could this be any more overly complicated? Well yeah actually it could but it’s pretty annoying. Gringo Killa is loaded up but Gail comes in and ranas Homicide. You know the good guys are pretty big cheaters in this match.

Now Gail, the Canadian-Korean, takes the American Flag but gets stopped by the Cuban most famous for his success in America as a Mexican import. Now Petey freaking Williams, who is in the middle of this somehow, comes in to try a Destroyer on Konnan but Hernandez makes the save. SuperMex dives onto Storm but mostly misses. Harris and Homicide go up and start to hang the flag but Storm comes up with a beer bottle. He breaks it over the head of Homicide but the glass gets in Homicide’s eyes, allowing Hernandez to come in and hang the flag to win.

Rating: D+. The match was ok, but SWEET GOODNESS did they overly complicate things here. There were three run-ins and they didn’t bother to explain what in the world Petey had to do with this. This match was just ok but the overbooking really hurt things. If they’re this short on time, why in the world are they leaving these matches at like ten minutes?

Gail yells at Storm post match. Konnan brags about winning and says this is about having class. The Mexican national anthem is played and we just kind of sit here and listen to it. That’s all it is for about two minutes. LAX stands there saluting while the Mexican national anthem plays. Like I said, there’s filler and then there’s this show. This is ridiculous.

Video on Samoa Joe.

Storm rants about Chris Harris quitting instead of really being hurt. This would be their split. Storm wants an apology by Thursday.

Here’s the Voodoo Kin Mafia to waste even more time. The announcers say this is for, and I quote, “The next really bad skit in their series.” They’re dressed like “Shawn and HHH”. After doing the DX intro, they bring out “cheerleaders”, with Tenay and Mike saying spirit more time than should be legally allowed. They bring out Fat Oily Guy for a dance and that’s it. Oh wait, no it’s not because Road Dogg wants to talk.

He says that sometimes people have issues differentiating between parody and reality TV. “Surprise surprise, we’re not Hickenbottom and Levesque.” Yes they’re actually saying this. They claim that Vince is mad about the parodies they’ve been doing which I don’t buy for a second, but this is TNA so who cares? They claim this is like when they went to WCW in Atlanta and then going to a house show.

This is REAL remember. The fans chant SCREW YOU VINCE and this is freaking stupid. Now they’re talking about Vince’s balls and issue a million dollar challenge: they offer Vince a million dollars to have a fight (“no angles, no spots, no finish”) with Vince’s two guys, meaning Shawn and HHH. If Vince doesn’t accept, he’s gutless. They’re FINALLY done after spending ten minutes on this nonsense.

This was one of the DUMBEST segments I’ve seen in years. TNA is so obsessed with catching WWE and making them look stupid that they have no idea how bad it makes them look. Yes, Shawn and HHH were reunited as DX at this point and had a pretty goofy feud with Vince and Shane over the summer. And you know what? IT DREW RATINGS AND MONEY. Road Dogg and Billy Gunn are standing in a ring complaining about them stomping on DX’s legacy, as if ANYONE has cared about the New Age Outlaws in the past 6 years prior to this show. There’s a reason you’re in some minor league people.

Second, they would wind up claiming victory when no one showed up for their challenge (the same night as a WWE PPV). Do they honestly think ANYONE cares about this nonsense? Did TNA really believe they were going to get fans, as in the smarks they cater to, to believe that Shawn Michaels and HHH or Vince McMahon were going to appear on a show that at this point was pure minor league level stuff? Is that what I’m watching a PPV to see? A “shoot challenge” from a couple of washed up has-beens?

Third, why in the world are we wasting PPV time on it? This show is already WAY short on wrestling, with tons of brawls and segments already because this company can’t manage to put on seven matches. There are six matches on this card, one of which goes past fifteen minutes. Based on what I can find, this show has about SEVENTY FIVE MINUTES of wrestling on it, with the whole broadcast running about 170 minutes.

That translates out to about 44% of the show being used on wrestling. Think about that. We’re getting an hour and fifteen minutes of wrestling, but we have time for a bikini contest, two brawls, this nonsense, and who knows what else. This is a great example of why no one took this company seriously for years and why a lot of people still don’t.

We recap the world title match. Sting wants Abyss to be his own man and calls him Chris, Mitchell says Abyss is an animal, Christian is involved because you can’t have a title match without there being three people in it more than two straight months.

Christian says he’ll get the title back while Sting and Abyss are having their soap opera. Tomko knows what Abyss’ secret is too.

NWA World Title: Christian Cage vs. Sting vs. Abyss

Abyss beat Sting for the title last month by DQ, in I think the only time that rule (which to be fair was established as a regular rule but has since been taken away) ever came into play. Tomko and Abyss stare it down before the match but nothing comes of it. Sting fights them both to start and sends Abyss out to the floor. Christian gets thrown out there too so Sting dives onto both of them. The guy will do some big spots when asked to.

Tomko throws Sting into the steps and Christian takes over for a bit. He goes back inside and runs into the champion who throws him around like a monster is supposed to. A corner splash puts Christian down and Sting is back in. Total control for Abyss at the moment as he stomps on Sting. Christian ducks a charge though and hits a tornado DDT for two. The Canadian goes after the knee of Abyss and knocks Sting to the floor.

Abyss tries a gorilla press but Christian escapes and gets to the corner. That doesn’t work that well as Abyss tries to load up a superplex but Sting comes in to make it a Tower of Doom. Stinger Splash to Abyss and Sting shrugs off some Christian chops. Stinger Splash to both guys in the same corner but Christian goes to the eyes to break up the Scorpion. Rollup gets two for Sting on Abyss. Abyss gets knocked to the floor and Tomko kicks him in the face. Unprettier is countered and Sting hooks the Scorpion. Sting, ever the idiot, goes after Mitchel and lets the hold go. That guy never learns.

Tomko throws in the belt but Sting avoids the shot and slingshots Christian into Abyss to keep the champion on the floor. Death Drop gets two as Tomko pulls the referee out. Tomko comes in to stomp Sting but Abyss jumps him. A clothesline puts Tomko on the floor and Abyss throws Christian over the top to the outside. Here comes a chokeslam to Sting but Mitchell wants to throw in tacks.

The fans chant for Chris (Abyss, not Christian) and he doesn’t want to use the tacks. He pours the tacks out but tries to chokeslam Christian instead, only to have Tomko kick his head off. Abyss gets kicked into the tacks and Sting tries to talk to him. Since this isn’t overbooked enough, Christian brings in a chair to pop Sting and a Black Hole Slam lets Abyss retain. They were trying to pull the referee out again there.

Rating: D+. This is where TNA loses me again. It’s a Russo problem more than anything else: there’s a decent match in there somewhere, but you can’t find it because of all the other stuff. We had in a 12 minute match, tacks, a chair, a ref bump, an attempted ref bump, a psychological therapy session, Tomko interfering, Mitchell interfering, and maiming. Why can’t it be three guys fighting for a title? Why is that such a bad thing? TNA comes off like it has a severe inferiority complex so it throws all this other stuff out there because it’s ashamed of what their regular product looks like. This was a good example of that.

Angle says this is the last match he’ll have with Joe. After tonight everyone will know he’s the best.

Angle talks about wrestling a guy from Iran and losing because he never thought he’d see him again. They did have a rematch though, in the gold medal match. Joe deserves a rematch. No one has ever hurt Angle like Joe did and Joe wants to hurt him again. The back and forth verbal servicing goes on for a few minutes, because Heaven forbid two people in TNA don’t like each other or don’t spend five minutes praising the other first.

Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle

The fans chant you tapped out at Joe, because they turn on their favorites at the drop of a hat. Now they say Joe’s Gonna Kill You. Now they’re split. This crowd needs therapy. They go to the corner quickly and then Angle takes him down with a wristlock. Kurt tries a half crab which goes nowhere. Joe comes back with a short arm clothesline and chops in the corner, followed by punches and kicks.

Angle starts to come back but gets backdropped over the top to the floor. Joe follows him to the outside and they slug it out, only to have Angle take over and hit a dive to the floor. Joe gets his head rammed into the steps a few times HARD. Angle goes inside but Joe is like screw that and comes back, only to get stomped down again. They go to the mat and Joe grabs a keylock.

Angle counters that and sends Joe into the steel cable in the corner to take over. Belly to belly stops a brief Joe comeback. Off to a body vice and Angle is in control. That doesn’t last long as Joe comes back with right hands and a release German suplex to put both guys down. Angle counters the Clutch and it’s Rolling German times. There’s the ankle lock but Joe rolls through. Angle rolls through the MuscleBuster into an ankle lock and Joe is in trouble.

Joe rolls out of it again but Angle immediately comes back with the Slam for two. Ankle lock goes on but Joe rolls around well enough that he pulls Angle into the Clutch. Angle counters THAT into the ankle lock. Joe does the same counter he did before into the Clutch again and Kurt is in trouble. THAT gets countered into the ankle lock with the grapevine.

Joe makes the rope which puts him in a short list of people that have escaped the grapevine. Angle changes up to going for a pin, in this case off a belly to belly superplex. Joe counters the Slam and down goes the referee. Joe hooks the Clutch again and Angle taps but there’s no referee. He goes to get the referee and Angle kicks him low. Angle goes to the floor and gets a chair but it hits the rope and bounces into Angle’s face. Joe pulls him into the Clutch and Angle taps for the win.

Rating: B+. Was there any need for the chair ending? Really? Either way it doesn’t mean much but Angle tapped like he should have so it doesn’t matter. This was a good match though and they had the crowd going really strongly by the end. The problem here though is that this is the second match and it happened at Turning Point after the first one at Genesis. It falls a little lower based on that. Still very good though and a great main event.

We take a long look at the match we just saw.

Overall Rating: D. The main event really is good and is worth checking out, but that’s really all that saves this show from being really bad. The problem here is that there are so many things standing in the way of it being a passable show. Stuff like the Voodoo Kin Mafia stuff and the TON of stalling and six matches on the whole card really makes this show look bad. More importantly than that though, it makes the company look like they have no idea what they’re doing and it makes them look like they’re incapable of filling up a three hour show. That’s a really bad sign, but at least they would improve…eventually.

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Impact Wrestling – March 29, 2012: Just Call It Hulk N Pals Already

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 29, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

I really hope this is an improvement over last week’s less than stellar effort. The main story is probably going to be Hogan being convinced to take the GM job which we all know that he’s going to take. Hopefully they have more time for Storm this week as he got pushed aside for Hogan and Garrett last week, which is ridiculous but such is life in TNA. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week with Dixie, Sting and Hogan making a decision about the GM spot.

Dixie says she’s given Hogan a week to think about it and hopefully she’ll know some more tonight.

Here’s Roode with additional security this week. Wasn’t he not supposed to be seen until Lockdown according to his lawyer? Roode says you all better respect him because without him, this company is nothing. At Victory Road, Roode accomplished his goal and proved that he’s better than Sting ever was. As for Dixie, if she wants to stick her nose into the champ’s business, she’ll get what’s coming to her. As for what the lawyer said last week, it only has to do with him wrestling.

The security is here for Storm’s benefit, not his own. When you’re the champ, you don’t need any luck. That brings out Storm who makes fun of the mall cops. Storm goes after Roode but Bully Ray runs out to deck Storm. Storm gets in one shot and Ray runs. Cowboy tries the superkick but Roode runs. Storm says he wants both Roode and Ray tonight and the champ says ok.

Gail gives Madison a tiara/crown. She’s the queen again.

Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne

Madison jumps her during the entrance and Tazz has nothing to say. How in the world did he fall from a tough miserable man to Pigeon Man? Madison takes over to start but Velvet gets in a boot to set up a basement dropkick for two. Madison gets in a few shots and a slam but Velvet comes back with a “spear”. A “bulldog” puts Rayne down the sitout Pedigree (apparently called In Yo Face) ends this at 2:58.

Velvet says she’s coming to get her Knockouts’ Title back.

Ray doesn’t like getting chummy with Roode for tonight.

We go to what looks like a park where Hogan and Dixie’s meeting is recorded. Hogan takes some of the blame for the whole going crazy and taking over the company. This goes on for a few minutes and basically is Hogan saying I used to be great but I don’t know if I’m right for it anymore. Dixie says we need you and begs him a bit because that’s what you have to do with Hulk. The end result: they’ll talk more in the arena tonight. This ran about five minutes which we’ll never get back.

We recap Crimson and Morgan’s breakup. They fight next.

Angle says no rematch for Hardy because Hardy is a crybaby. If Hardy gets a win over Mr. Anderson tonight, he can have his rematch.

We get ready for Crimson vs. Morgan but here’s Austin Aries to interrupt. He says he’s got a problem right now and that problem is called Bully Ray. Ray interrupted him in a title defense last week and that’s not ok. Aries’ balls are as big as Ray’s calves. He respects a guy like James Storm who stands up for himself, so if Storm wants a partner tonight, Aries would love to help him out.

Matt Morgan vs. Crimson

They’re brawling in the aisle as we come back from a break. Into the ring they go with Morgan pounding down onto the head of the Red Enthusiast. Crimson makes a comeback and they head to the floor. Back inside with Crimson in control but Morgan comes back with some rights….and there’s a spinebuster to put him right back down for two. Crimson misses a spear in the corner and Morgan takes over, but they brawl to the floor and it’s a double countout at 3:48.

Rating: C-. What exactly were you expecting here? This has been going to Lockdown the entire time and everyone has known it. The match there won’t be bad and I really hope they don’t blow the winning streak (as lame as it is) on Morgan. Not much to see here but some of Crimson’s power stuff wasn’t bad. He needs to talk more though.

They brawl out of the arena.

Joseph Park goes to look for Abyss info in the technical truck. Apparently he (Joseph) used to play college football.

Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy

If Hardy wins he gets a shot at Angle at Lockdown. The Guns are back next week apparently. Feeling out process to start with no one having a clear advantage. The announcers have to talk about the Bischoffs because this is TNA after all. Now a shift to talking about Hogan. Jeff hits his double leg between Anderson’s legs for two but Anderson comes back with elbow drops.

He calls for the Mic Check but Jeff elbows out. Twist of Fate is countered and they ram heads with Jeff falling to the floor. And here’s Kurt to jump Hardy. He hadn’t done it yet when I typed that. It was just that obvious. Low blow and a post shot before Jeff is sent back in and the Mic Check ends this at 4:27.

Rating: D+. Nothing of note here because of the ending but it couldn’t have been more obvious that they were doing that. Angle vs. Hardy will happen at the PPV I’m sure, maybe in Lethal Lockdown. Either way, nothing match as they wanted to keep both guys looking strong which is understandable.

Here’s the debut of Longnecks and Rednecks, Storm’s music video. It’s set in a bar and has some clips of Storm in TNA.

ODB and Eric plan the wedding. This is annoying. Eric wants to wear the dress. ODB finally gives up and fires the good looking blonde wedding planner. They’re going to get married three days before Lockdown inside the cage. That’s in two weeks.

Here’s Eric with yet another challenge for Garrett. Eric talks about how great he is and how he has a contract that says he can get TV time whenever he wants. Every day he makes a checklist of what he wants to accomplish. On his recent list, he’s wanted to get rid of Sting as GM, get Dixie to find a less competent GM, and increase his personal wealth, all of which he’s done. However, he can’t get rid of his son, so he calls Garrett out right now.

Eric says that Garrett has a chance to leave with his health, because at Lockdown Eric wants to see him face Gunner again. Garrett can walk away right now though, but Garrett grabs the mic and calls Eric a jerk. He’s not going anywhere and putting him in a cage is a dumb idea.

Video on Storm training out in the country. He talks about how Roode broke up Beer Money and how the fans want him to take Roode out.

Hogan arrives at 10:30.

Bully Ray/Bobby Roode vs. Austin Aries/James Storm

Aries and Ray start but after Ray runs his mouth for awhile he bails. Storm tries to tag himself in to face Roode but the champ runs. Aries takes Roode down and we take a break as he wants the Bully. Back with Aries getting what he wants as the announcers talk about Hogan’s decision. Aries takes Ray to the mat and makes him look like a fool before chilling in the corner. He pounds on Ray but charges into a big old boot.

We get into standard tag team match formula with the heels pounding on Austin with double teaming tactics. Aries elbow Roode down and takes out Ray with a missile dropkick. There’s the hot tag as Storm cleans house. Roode is caught but Ray makes the save. Closing Time hits Ray and Roode spits beer in his face, allowing the Last Call to hit for the pin at 12:22.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t all that impressed here. Most of the match was Aries getting beaten on until we got down to the ending. Still though, Storm isn’t getting much time to show off which isn’t a great idea as he’s been the hottest thing in the company for months now. Not a terrible match, but nothing we haven’t seen a dozen times.

Here’s Dixie to bring out Hogan for the big decision. She believes in Hogan and wants him to take the position. Is it the one he demonstrated in his sex tape? Hogan says he doesn’t really want to do it because of what happened with Immortal, but here’s Sting to keep up the begging and worship of Hogan, because that’s what this company is all about. Oh and he brings out half the faces with him (D-Von doesn’t even bring his belt with him). All the big name faces are there: AJ, Storm, Anderson, Morgan, Hardy…..and Garrett of course.

Sting kisses up to Hogan and says take it already. Hogan wants to make sure it’s a clean slate and wants a guarantee that Sting will ALWAYS have his back. Sting wants to make sure that it’ll be the Eye of the Tiger Hogan. He says he’ll have Hulk’s back and Hogan takes the job, of course. Gee that was such a big sacrifice for him. Hogan celebrates with the rest of the good guys to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a step up over last week’s show but I really don’t like the way TNA seems to be going. It seems that they’re going more towards the idea of talking and drama rather than wrestling (9 matches combined in two weeks) and focusing more on Bischoff and Hogan. Tonight they didn’t go two minutes without talking about Hogan’s decision and that’s not good when they’re coming up on the second biggest show of the year. It wasn’t a bad show by any means, but I don’t like the way things seem to be going.

Results
Velvet Sky b. Madison Rayne – In Yo Face
Matt Morgan vs. Crimson went to a double countout
Mr. Anderson b. Jeff Hardy – Mic Check
James Storm/Austin Aries b. Bully Ray/Bobby Roode – Last Call to Ray

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Great American Bash 1998: This Show Is In Slow Motion

Great American Bash 1998
Date: June 14, 1998
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 12,810
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

By the law of common sense, this HAS to be better than Road Wild. The main event is Sting vs. Giant for control of the tag titles since Giant joined the Black and White. The rest of the card at least looks ok and far better than the abomination that was Road Wild. I just finished that show if it wasn’t that clear. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is shots of the big names and shots of patriotic things like flags and eagles.

Tony declares that the people in the tag match tonight are the four best in the world today: Hogan, Hart, Savage and Piper. I’ll let the jokes make themselves there.

Gene talks about the main event to fill in some time. Sting has joined the Wolfpack so they have to have the match for later tonight. They’re the WCW/NWO Tag Titles now too.

Now the announcers talk to waste time. The fans want Goldberg.

Here’s a clip from Thursday where Bret hit Booker with a chair to cost Booker a match in the Best of Seven series. Benoit didn’t want it that way so he gave the match away via DQ. That was the seventh match but Booker didn’t want the win that way. Instead they’ll have an eighth match tonight and the winner gets Finlay for the TV Title tonight. Yeah that’s what this whole thing is for.

Chris Benoit vs. Booker T

The winner gets the title match later tonight. The opening bell rings 9:40 into the show.
Benoit snaps off an armdrag to start and Booker retaliates with a hiptoss. Oh and there’s a chance Benoit might want to join the NWO but he’s never said yes. Benoit gets in a shot and Booker heads to the floor. He has a bad knee due to a previous match with Benoit. Down to the mat for a bit and things are continuing to be slow.

Booker hits a hard elbow to the face for two and slams him down, getting the first advantage. Benoit comes back with a dragon screw leg whip to work on the bad knee. Belly to back gets two. Benoit hooks a chinlock but Booker elbows out of it. That doesn’t last long as Benoit chops him right back down, followed by a snap suplex for two. A belly to back is countered into a cross body for two.

Benoit keeps control and it’s time for a chinlock again. Booker gets up again but Chris knees him in the ribs to take him right back down. A front suplex puts Booker on the top rope. Benoit hits a hard clothesline for a pair of twos and now he’s getting frustrated. Back to the chinlock again and then a surfboard submission. Booker fights out of that and hits a powerslam.

Booker goes up but takes too much time, resulting in his cross body hitting the mat. Crossface attempt fails as Booker makes the rope. Now back to the chinlock for the fourth time. Does he realize he’s Chris Benoit? Booker fights up, probably due to the amount of practice he’s had so far in this match, and hits an enziguri followed by a spinebuster for two. Pancake sets up the Spinarooni but the missile dropkick is countered by a crotching. Superplex puts both guys down but Benoit can’t cover.

Instead he goes with the rolling Germans but hits a dragon (full nelson) suplex for the final one which only gets two. The crowd reaction says they thought it was over. Swan Dive hits but again he can’t cover. A delayed cover gets two, but then Booker pops up, hits a pair of side kicks and the missile dropkick for the pin to win the series. REALLY anti-climactic ending.

Rating: C. The match was ok but man was it underwhelming. The knee wound up meaning nothing at all and the ending comes out of nowhere with almost no comeback by Booker. Benoit controlled about 90% of the match, but the chinlocks were distracting. When’s the last time you remember four rest holds out of Benoit? Decent match but this should have been a lot more.

Chavo says Eddie wants to fight him but Lee Marshall disagrees.

Kanyon vs. Saturn

Saturn is in the Flock still. A guy dressed in Kanyon’s old Mortis attire (it’s known that they’re the same person at this point) comes out of the entrance until Kanyon himself comes through the crowd and jumps Saturn to start. Ok not so much jump him but wait for Saturn to turn around and make the whole thing pointless. Swinging neckbreaker gets two for Kanyon. Kanyon puts him in an electric chair position but drops Saturn forward for two.

Here’s the Flock but Kanyon knocks all of them around with ease. Saturn is sent to the floor which winds up going nowhere. Kanyon sets for something but Lodi distracts him, allowing for Riggs, Kidman and Horace to triple team him. Not that it matters to Saturn who dives over the top onto all three of them. Nick Patrick ejects everyone other than Lodi I believe. Kanyon is sent into the barricade and Saturn is in control. Saturn hits a move that I’ve seen Kanyon use before, as he suplexes Kanyon back in from the apron while standing on the middle rope.

Back in Saturn hooks an ankle lock and then a hold that resembles Cattle Mutilation but has half of the normal grip for that and a half nelson at the same time. Cattle Mutilation looks a lot better. A springboard clothesline puts both guys on the floor with I think Kanyon taking the worse of it. Saturn brings in a chair, prompting this from Tony: “Is this Raven’s Rules? We haven’t heard anything about that.” To anyone watching along with me, press rewind for about seven minutes and twenty seconds, to the part where Tony says: “Saturn coming to the ring for this next match, which is under Raven’s Rules we understand.” Moving on.

The chair is used as a springboard to set up a dropkick in the corner ala Poetry in Motion. There’s Sabu’s Triple Jump Moonsault to fill the moves stolen from ECW quota of the night. In a cool counter, Saturn tries a slingshot shoulder block but Kanyon counters into a northern lights suplex for two. Saturn comes back with a swinging neckbreaker for two of his own. Time for a chinlock and the fans aren’t pleased. A belly to back gets two for Kanyon and a Stun Gun puts Saturn down but Kanyon can’t follow up.

They do a weird backslide move where Saturn is sat out and gets two out of it. Rings of Saturn is transitioned into a two count somehow. They’re trying some different stuff here and it’s really not working. Fireman’s carry into a pancake gets two as does a torture rack neckbreaker. Downward Spiral is countered into a half nelson suplex by Saturn, getting two. Saturn’s Death Valley Driver is countered but he KILLS Kanyon with a superkick. Saturn does seem like he knows what he wants to do.

They both go up and both get crotched and fall to the floor. The Mortis from earlier in the match comes in and make that two of them. The smaller one hits the taller one and this is getting goofy now. They fight to the floor as Saturn jumps into a Downward Spiral which gets the pin for Kanyon.

Rating: D+. This was a really strange match. They were trying to be different I think and while they accomplished that, it wasn’t exactly good stuff. A lot of it looked like they weren’t sure what they were doing and it came off as kind of sloppy. Also at 15 minutes, this was too long. Not an awful match, but they overthought it and that brought things way down.

The smaller Mortis is unmasked as Raven, who DDTs Kanyon on the floor. I’d assume the much taller one was Reese. Raven gets on the mic and yells at Saturn for losing and has the Flock beat him down. Saturn fights them off because most of them suck.

We recap Malenko vs. Jericho. Malenko won a title shot in disguise as Ciclope and then the title later on that night but Malenko had to surrender the title. Jericho didn’t get it back because we have to have a rematch with Malenko vs. Jericho tonight.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Dean Malenko

Title is vacant coming in. Jericho is announced as being from Calgary here which is a new one for him. They double clothesline each other to start but both pop up with Jericho spin kicking him down. Malenko goes crazy and pounds on Chris in the corner. That’s a new one for him. Jericho comes back with a shoulder block and some shadow boxing with the referee. Liontamer is easily countered and Dean hits a suplex for two.

Off to a surfboard submission and Jericho screams like a girly man. Jericho gets out and is caught in the Tree of Woe but Dean’s baseball slide misses. Out to the floor and Jericho hits a pescado. He pounds away on Dean and both guys are looking fired up here. Suplex sets up the posing cover for two. Off to a sleeper by Chris but Dean counters into one of his own. Jericho counters that with a belly to back for two.

Lionsault misses and Dean hits a leg lariat into a cradle for two. Tony says we’re ten to fifteen minutes into the match but it’s more like eight. Knee to the head of Jericho gets two. Dean takes him to the corner and sets for the top rope gutbuster but Jericho counters into a fast rana to put both guys down. Jericho gets a very delayed two. Dean counters a powerbomb but Jericho rolls him into the Liontamer. Ok more like the Walls of Jericho but same idea. Dean gets the ropes and Jericho is furious. He threatens to hit the referee but the power of Billy Silverman stops that.

Jericho takes him to the corner and counters a headscissors atttempt into an Alabama Slam. Dean counters a Liontamer attempt into the Texas Cloverleaf for a BIG pop. Jericho makes the rope to make the crowd get sad again. The butterfly suplex into the backbreaker puts Dean back down and Jericho slaps him. He shouts that Dean is nothing like Dean’s dead father and Malenko snaps. They go to the floor and Dean hits Jericho with a chair for the DQ to give Jericho the title (which wasn’t announced until tomorrow night because WCW likes to screw its paying customers).

Rating: C+. This was a pretty decent match which picked up a lot near the end. Dean would never get a singles title in WCW again while Jericho would go on to be wasted in the midcard until he jumped to the WWF a little over a year later. Pretty good match but it was based on emotion and the title changing hands on a DQ was stupid.

They brawl to the parking lot and get near the traffic where Jericho has to avoid being hit by a car. He runs into a building across the street as we try to figure out who the champion is.

Eddie says Grandma Guerrero doesn’t want them to fight and starts crying about it.

The announcers think Jericho should be champion but we’ll get a ruling tomorrow I guess.

Video on Juventud Guerrera who never gives up. It’s him walking around set to very slow Latin music.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Reese

Reese is 7’2. That would be the extent of his list of talents. He also played Yeti at Halloween Havoc 1995. The idea here is that Juvy needs to prove himself again after losing his mask. The announcers are STILL talking about Jericho. No contact for the first minute as the Jericho chatting continues. WE GET IT ALREADY. Reese throws him around but Jericho keeps charging. Reese goes to the floor and Juvy dives at him, getting caught and rammed into the post.

Juvy says bring it on even more and crotches him on the top rope coming in. He fires off kicks at Reese’s knees and jumps up into a choke off the top. Reese shrugs all that off and bends Juvy over his knee in a backbreaker. He spends a few minutes destroying Juvy and throws on a bearhug. Juvy finally hits a low blow to slow Reese down but Reese drops to his knees so he can punch Juvy in the face. Reese suplexes him down but Juvy is up at 9. Reese goes to get a chair but the referee pulls it away. Van Hammer, former Flock member, comes out and hits him with it so Juvy can hit an AWFUL rana for the pin. Shoulder was up too.

Rating: F. What in the world was the point of this? Juvy is supposed to be some new man that never quits. Yeah that’s true, but he’s also a man that was getting killed until Van Hammer came in to save him. This match was REALLY boring and could have been accomplished in about four minutes instead of the nine that it got.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo is a little psycho here. Heenan: “You know I asked Grandma Guerrero what she thought of this match.” Tony: “What did she say?” Heenan: “I don’t know, I don’t speak Spanish.” The idea here is that since Chavo is nuts, Eddie is afraid of him and doesn’t want to fight him. Chavo slaps him in the face and Eddie is fired up now. Eddie chops away and Chavo does the same.

They go to the mat and Eddie pounds away as this becomes a brawl. Chavo misses a splash in the corner and Eddie does the spinning face grind with his boot. Now Chavo launches Eddie over him and onto the corner. Leave it to WCW to make sure that two of the best wrestlers in the company have a brawl instead of a wrestling match. Chavo goes to the floor and Eddie kicks the rope into his crotch on the way back in.

They exchange control over the arm and Chavo goes to the top. He flips forward but Eddie moves out of the way. Chavo lands on his feet and runs to the other corner to hit a moonsault press for two. SWEET. Eddie sends him to the floor and into the steps. Back inside a brainbuster puts Chavo down and Eddie slaps him. That wakes Chavo up again and he snaps, resulting in him going off and it’s time for a chase scene. Back in Eddie rams into Chavo’s knee to take him down and it’s figure four time.

For some reason Chavo doesn’t reach two feet to his left and grab the rope. Well to be fair he’s crazy. The hold finally is broken up by Eddie and it’s back to the knee. Now the Gory Stretch which is appropriate here. Chavo escapes again but the knee gives out and Eddie hits a regular dropkick to take over again. Now off to a camel clutch for some reason. Oh for the love of…..YOU’RE GUERREROS!!! FREAKING JUMP OFF SOMETHING ALREADY!!!

Now an over the shoulder backbreaker. Are you kidding me? He spins that into something like an Eye of the Storm and we get a LOUD We Want Flair chant. Chavo takes over again and does the Eddie chest slap thing. He loads up a Frog Splash but Eddie crotches him. Eddie’s Frog Splash misses and both guys are down. Tornado DDT is countered by sending Chavo to the floor, but he comes back in with a springboard tornado DDT for the pin.

Rating: D. Allow me to reiterate: YOU’RE GUERREROS. This was ridiculous as the whole thing was dull, much like the rest of the show has been. There’s just too going on tonight that is pure boring. At the end of the day, there are way too many talented guys out there being boring. Gee, I wonder if that’s a coincidence: the talented guys get time and they all keep it in slow. I think I smell a Bischoff.

We recap the making of the tag match later. Roddy said no one knows Savage so Savage got in his face. Piper says he’s not selling anything and they had a brawl. They’re teaming against Hogan and Hart later. How does that set it up? Who knows?

TV Title: Fit Finlay vs. Booker T

Remember what I said about talented people having boring matches? I haven’t seen this match perhaps ever, or at least in almost fourteen years. How much do you want to bet that this match is slow and boring? Booker has already had a sixteen minute match tonight so he’s tired coming in. Feeling out process to start and since no one cares about this match, the announcers talk about the tag title singles match later.

Booker sends him to the floor and hits a dive over the top to take Finlay down. Back in Finlay hits something like a spinebuster and off to some leg locks. Now a half crab. The leg work goes on for a few more minutes and MY GOODNESS DO SOMETHING INTERESTING!!! I’ll bet that the main event matches are all energetic and “fun” and I’d bet even more that the other guys were asked to be slow and boring, because they might show someone else up otherwise. I need something to rant about during this match because there’s only so much you can say about Finlay laying on Booker’s leg.

Mr. T. makes a brief comeback but takes a knee crusher to put him right back down. Out to the floor and Finlay wants to use a chair which isn’t allowed. Instead the leg goes into the post again. Back in Finlay Vader Bombs the knee and stomps on it some more until Booker decides to pop up and spin kick Finlay down. The fans think this is boring and I can’t argue at all. Powerslam sets up the ax kick as the knee is perfectly fine. Finlay puts him down but the Tombstone is countered. The champ misses a charge and a piledriver gvies Booker the title.

Rating: D. Technically this was fine as the whole thing was about the knee work, but then they just finished the match, which is something Booker would never do. This show is ridiculous with the boring matches and now it’s time for the “draws” to come into play. This can’t end well at all.

US Title: Goldberg vs. Konnan

Konnan is Wolfpack and has Hennig and Rude with him. Goldie is 99-0 at this point, meaning he’ll be 104-0 by tomorrow night and 110-0 by the Nitro after that. The cheering is so canned here it’s unreal. Konnan gets knocked to the floor in about a second and this isn’t going to go anywhere. A bad leglock puts K-Dawg down again, double leg takedown is called a spear, Jackhammer ends this. Total squash.

Hennig and Rude beat on Konnan post match and reveal Black and White shirts. Luger and Nash make the save.

Hollywood Hogan/Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper/Randy Savage

How is this the third PPV I’ve done between here and February of 1999 and this is Bret’s first appearance? Hogan is world champion because it’s WCW. Why are these four fighting? Who knows? The only thing we got from WCW was Piper and Savage fighting, which doesn’t explain a thing. Stalling before we get going until it’s Piper vs. Hogan getting things going. After more stalling, Piper goes into Three Stooges mode and brings in Savage.

Tony praises Savage/Piper for their ability to make tags. Yeah that’s what they’ve reached. No ability to talk about Jericho now is there? Piper atomic drops Hogan back into their corner and the beating continues. Disciple hits Piper in the back with the belt to shift the momentum for the first time and it’s off to Hart. Bret and Hogan take turns punching Piper as you can tell that even these four aren’t interested at all.

Bret does his usual stuff and whips Piper in, resulting in Piper going into slow motion for a small package. Pipes tags Savage but it doesn’t count for some reason. That worked so well that they do the same thing again. Things break down a bit and Savage tries to bring in a chair, but instead of hitting Bret with it, he puts it over Piper’s stomach to prevent a headbutt from Bret. Savage gets the tag and the fans don’t move at all. Everything breaks down and Savage goes up but his knee gives out on an elbow attempt. Hogan wraps it around the post and Savage gives up to the Sharpshooter.

Rating: F. There’s no excuse for these four to be wrestling in one of the featured matches on PPV when you have this roster in the year 1998. None. These four are the “draws” right? Then why do you keep them on top while the company’s massive lead has died and WWF is in the lead? That would mean putting someone other than Hogan on top, and we just can’t have that right?

Gene comes in for a post match interview with the losers and a match breaks out.

Roddy Piper vs. Randy Savage

This was scheduled due to the loss apparently. Savage jumps him to start and this is as bad as you would expect it to be. Now he can hit the elbow but the knee is too hurt to cover him. Instead he punches the referee and Piper puts him in a figure four. A second referee runs in and Savage gives up AGAIN. This was like 90 seconds.

Someone smarter than I am, tell me what those two matches solved. What were they even fighting over? Why am I trying to figure WCW out anymore?

Tag Titles: Sting vs. The Giant

Winner gets both belts. Why are they fighting? Again, not explained. Giant is smoking on his way to the ring. Yeah that was their attempt to make him EXTREME. If Giant wins, he’s picking Disciple as his partner to be champions. I would say even WCW wasn’t that stupid, but I would be very wrong. Giant blows smoke in his face so Sting fights back and puts him on the top rope on his back for a splash. The second attempt eats boot and Sting is tossed to the floor.

Back in Sting runs the ropes and hits a cross body but Giant just stands there. Elbow drop hits Sting and YET AGAIN they walk around as slowly as possible. This is the main event too, so why in the world are they doing this here? Bear hug to Sting to further keep things boring. Sting dropkicks the knee out and hits two Stinger Splashes. There’s an easy slam but the Scorpion is easily broken up. Death Drop gets two. Death Drop gets two. Death Drop from the middle rope gets the pin.

Rating: F. This was the main event. It lasted seven minutes and was awful. Was this really the best they could come up with? Somehow, I think it was and that’s why you don’t see WCW around anymore: we don’t get the announcement of who Sting’s partner is as it was made the next night on Nitro. In other words, there was no need to pay for this show at all.

Overall Rating: F+. And yet somehow, it was still better than Road Wild. The problem here was that nothing was interesting at all. Everything was VERY slow paced and boring with nothing at all being even remotely good. With the card they have, this could have been a decent show, but instead they made sure it was in slow motion and that the two decisions that came out of the show weren’t revealed until Nitro, making this show show TOTALLY POINTLESS. Thank goodness I only have twelve of these things left. I can’t take any more than that.

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I Want To Talk A Little Bit About Passing The Torch And Rubs

This seems like an appropriate topic with Wrestlemania being about two weeks away. This is something that is very important and can really make or break a company if not done right. Yet for some reason over the years, it’s very rarely been done right. On Rise and Fall of ECW, Heyman talked about Terry Funk wanting to get the next generation ready so that there was a business to pass on to them. That’s what we’re getting at today so let’s get to it.

Now first and foremost, there’s a BIG difference between giving someone a rub and passing the torch to someone else. Back in the 80s, Hogan tagged with a bunch of guys that were known names but didn’t become anything important until they were his best friend for a few months of house show tag matches. Then they’d be Hogan’s partner for awhile and they’d be bigger stars than ever before. That’s giving someone a rub.

Passing the torch means that you make someone the new big name in the company. We’ll get to examples of that later on, but the main idea is that someone is either leaving, is dropping down the card after being on top for a long while, or that the other person is going to be taking their place. To use the example from earlier, Hogan wasn’t going anywhere and wasn’t moving down the card. He was still top dog but the others were up higher than they were before. That’s an important difference.

On second thought, this was going to just be about passing the torch but I might as well cover rubs in here too. We’ll get to passing the torch first.

Let’s go back to the past as I’m known to do. The better example is probably King Jackie Fargo passing the torch to King Jerry Lawler but we’ll go with something actually in the last thirty years with Harley Race and Ric Flair. Now let’s take a good look at what put this together and why it was a true passing of the torch. There were a lot of factors that came together to make it work.

First of all, Flair was already a big name. He was a two time NWA World Champion and was well established as a top guy. This is important to passing the torch because if you want someone like Race to go out, this is how you do it: to a guy that has proven he can do something already. Otherwise you might need to go to someone else which makes the moment weaker.

Second, this was built up. It had a long and personal angle to it which resulted in real emotion. Race had put a $25,000 bounty on Flair’s head and it was cashed in, resulting in Flair being put out of action for months. He took care of the attackers and then came after Race to take the championship and get his revenge. It was an angle that people wanted to see get paid off which makes the match that much more interesting.

Third, the match was great. It’s a classic old school cage match with Race working him over and Flair making the comeback for the pin and the big moment. It was also in the main event of the first Starrcade, which at the time was the biggest card ever put together. Look at Cena vs. Rock this year: they’re having this match in the main event of Wrestlemania after a year of these two arguing and bickering. In short: take your time and make the match feel important.

Most importantly though, RACE LEFT. After this happened, Race was gone from the NWA spotlight. There was a three day title change in New Zealand but other than that, Race went back to the smaller territories and eventually on to the WWF. Now, that’s not to say that Race couldn’t have come back in a smaller role. If Race had come back in say a year or even six months it would have been fine, as long as he didn’t challenge for the title or feud with Flair. That’s one of the main things: Race didn’t try to come back against Flair. He had been defeated and was done.

There really aren’t that many of these moments to talk about in history, and since most of them have been done well there isn’t really a point to going through them one by one because they would all mostly say the same thing. The other few of note are the Fargo/Lawler one that I mentioned earlier, Austin vs. Michaels in 1998, HHH vs. Batista in 2005, and really those are all of the major ones.

Now let’s get to the problems that can come up when these rules are broken. This can also be called The Hogan Section.

Hogan has had a few chances to pass the torch onto someone else and both times he’s broken one of the aforementioned rules and caused the next person to not be able to do as well on top. We’ll start in 1990 at Wrestlemania 6. You could argue the first time was at #4 with Savage but the end result of that was ALWAYS Hogan vs. Savage for the title the next year so I can’t fault Hogan for that as it was part of a major angle instead of Hogan not going away. Anyone on to #6.

I don’t think anyone would argue that the main event of that show was designed to be a moment where Warrior became the top guy. However in short, Hogan didn’t leave. He stuck around in 1990 and feuded with Earthquake, taking all of the spotlight (as well as the top and most obvious feud for Warrior) from the new champion. The right thing would have been for Hogan to take AT LEAST a few months off and made a movie or whatever.

Instead he stuck around and therefore made Warrior look like a second rate guy, which made the main event of Wrestlemania completely pointless. Warrior was a failure as the top guy but there was never a real chance for him to be the top guy. Everyone thought that Hogan was still top dog and him simply not having the title wasn’t going to prove that wrong. Considering Warrior barely beat him, it didn’t really prove that Warrior was the top guy. Instead of passing the torch, Hogan basically gave Warrior the title for about 7 months and then got it back later. Good for him, bad for Warrior.

Jumping to WCW, we have the moment that was a big bullet to WCW in the Monday Night Wars. Sting FINALLY stopped Hogan and won the (nearly) year and a half long title reign and it should have been the end of an era in WCW. This is probably the biggest botch of one of these things ever. First of all, the match sucked for reasons that you can read elsewhere. Second, Sting didn’t get to even hold the physical title for two months, so how much do you think the fans cared by that point? Third, Sting officially won the title in February and Hogan had it back by mid-April. Sting is defeated, Hogan is champion AGAIN, and the fans are screwed over.

The third example of Hogan doing this would be in 1998 with Goldberg. Now to be fair this was probably much more about WCW than Hogan, but depending on what you believe about Hogan having creative control in the back, that could be a matter of debate. Also to Hogan’s credit, he lost the match clean (mostly) and never got his win back against Goldberg, which is a big help. However that being said, he got the title back in just a few months. There was WAY more to it than that, but at the end of the day, the problem was that Hogan had the title back about half a year later, Goldberg was defeated, and the fans were screwed over AGAIN. Sound familiar?

There are probably other example that I’m overlooking, but I think by now you more than get the idea. The WWF in 1990/1991 was in real business trouble and was even on the verge of going under for awhile. The WCW instances are times where the company took big hits because either they wouldn’t let people have the title or they wouldn’t let anyone get thrown out of the main event. The moral: bad things happen when you don’t change things when you need to.

Now onto the other topic that I wasn’t going to talk about here but it fits as well: rubs. As we’ve established, a rub is where someone is going to be sticking around but is going to bring someone else up the card by giving them some of their star power and making them look like a bigger deal. We’ll begin in the 80s, as I am known to do.

The perfect example of this is usually Flair and Sting from March 27, 1988 and there’s a good reason for that. Sting wasn’t a big time name like he is today. He was a guy that had been brought over from a regional company and was looking for his first big break in the national scene. The company knew he had talent but they needed a way to let the masses know that.

Enter Ric Flair, who in the words of Jim Cornette, made a career out of making other people look way better than they ever could have done on their own. So at the first Clash of the Champions, Sting fought Flair for the NWA Title and had him in the Scorpion when the bell rang and the time was up. Flair made Sting look AWESOME that night and Sting became a huge star because of it. Flair kept the title and would for a good while, but Sting was a major player all of a sudden. I think you get the idea.

There are dozens of other examples from history that I could go into, such as the tag teams that Hogan had which I mentioned earlier and Bret vs. Austin in 96/97, but you more than get the point by now. On the other hand, there are examples of times where bigger names lose matches, but the win doesn’t do a thing for the smaller name guy. Let’s take a look at a quick example.

I hate to do this again, but the best example is Hulk Hogan. In the year 2000, Hogan lost to Billy Kidman. What’s forgotten about this is that Hogan DOMINATED Kidman and Kidman won after Bischoff hit Hogan with a chair. The win didn’t do anything for Kidman because it didn’t look like he had a chance to beat Hogan in a fair fight. The same thing is true of instances like jobbers pinning big names, such as Brooklyn Brawler pinning HHH in the year 2000. Rock had a bit of a hand in that loss, but HHH still gets made fun of for it on occasion. Again, I think you get the idea.

So anyway, in short there are good ways and bad ways of passing the torch, and hopefully Rock does it with Cena at Wrestlemania. Rock is a guy who a victory over would still mean a lot and I just hope they don’t screw it up somehow. Rubs and passing the torch are very important things in wrestling, and if you don’t do them right they can turn out very badly indeed.




Impact Wrestling – March 22, 2012: This Was A Good Sized Step Back

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 22, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re past Victory Road and not a lot has changed. Roode has finally put Sting away followed by a pretty strange post match attempted beatdown of Sting which resulted in Dixie Carter saving him. Other than that the interesting thing was Aries seemingly being turned face by the power of the crowd. That’s probably the right thing for him as it has meant huge pushes in the past. Let’s get to it.

We open with the ending to last Sunday’s PPV. Sting has a severe concussion apparently. Dixie is going to have something to say right after the opening sequence.

Here’s Dixie and great she’s crying. She talks about how Roode disrespects the company and the fans. Dixie goes on the rant about how she’s been talking to attorneys and management and she only has one option. Cue Sting because we can’t do anything in this company without holding a meeting. He says that firing Roode isn’t the answer isn’t a good idea because it means that Storm can’t get his revenge at Lockdown. The fans chant that they want revenge. Sting says the GM position isn’t working….and we go to a break.

Back with them still in the ring. Sting says that Dixie has put all of her faith into Sting and he did the best he could, but it’s not enough. At Victory Road, the company came alive and Sting can’t be both a part time GM and a part time wrestler. Due to the concussion, he has to go home for awhile and get better, and he’ll come back better. He’s going to come back as a full time wrestler. Sting steps down as GM but says he’s got the right man in mind to replace him: Hulk Hogan. Dixie cries even more but doesn’t say yes or no.

Ray is mad and is taking hostages tonight.

X-Division Title: Anthony Nese vs. Zema Ion vs. Kid Kash vs. Austin Aries

One fall to a finish. Ion tries a quick rollup but goes to the floor with the champ. Kash avoids a cross body by Nese but is thrown to the floor and is holding his ankle. Aries vs. Nese now and the champ is in trouble. Ion comes back in and Aries hits a combination DDT to Ion/Downward Spiral to Nese. Out to the floor and Aries hits the suicide dive to Ion. Ion hits the Sorensen Killer and Nese hits a moonsault plancha to take out all three guys. They bust out the Tower of Doom with Ion nearly getting killed by the powerbomb from Aries. And here’s Bully Ray to beat them all up and the match is thrown out at 4:35.

Rating: B-. Fun match but it was far more about being a collection of spots than an actual match. That was the point of it, but Aries really needs to lose the title and move up on the card. This match really did show that no one else in the division is anywhere near Aries’ level and once he gets out of it, the division is in big trouble.

Ray says that his name is in fact Bully Ray.

Mexican America has their lowrider towed by some guy from a Spike show about repossessing. He asks them trivia in order to get to keep their car. This is annoying. They only get 1/3 and lose the car. They say they’ll all win tag titles tonight and pay off the debt to keep the car.

Knockout Tag Titles: ODB/Eric Young vs. Rosita/Sarita

The wedding is April 12. Oh great. Eric and Rosita start us off but Eric tags out to ODB with no contact. She takes Rosita down and misses the Bronco Buster. Sarita comes in and doesn’t do much so it’s back to Rosita. She takes a kick in the chest and a “spear” to set up the tag to Young. He does some cartwheels and takes off his pants. The girls hit on Eric and ODB gets mad about it. ODB cleans house and hits the Bam on Rosita before asking where Eric’s ring is. He can’t produce it so she kisses him and puts Eric on top of Rosita for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: F. I hate it I hate it I hate it. I HATE this angle and we’re going to have to put up with it for the next freaking month because we need COMEDY on this show because there’s so much going on we can’t even get the TV Champion on the show already, but we need time to have Eric strip every week.

We recap Crimson and Morgan from Sunday. We cut to Crimson watching Morgan’s Direct Auto Insurance commercials and saying that he should have been in there but it was all about Morgan. Crimson says that then Morgan started dropping the ball in the ring so Crimson took out the trash on Sunday and he feels better now. He challenges Morgan to a match next week when Morgan pops in and the backstage brawl of the week begins.

Dixie doesn’t know what to do about Sting.

Hardy says Angle talked a lot of trash before the PPV and now Jeff wants him in a cage where ropes won’t matter. Joseph Park shows up and asks for any information about Abyss. Hardy doesn’t have any so Park gives him his card.

Video on Roode vs. Storm at Lockdown. This includes a retrospective of their careers in TNA, including a blink and you’ll miss it shot of CM Punk. Make that two blinks and you’ll miss it shots of Punk. Good video.

Here’s Storm in the ring to talk about right and wrong. It’s wrong that football is only 18 weeks a year. It’s wrong when two people work 40 hours a week and can’t take their kids on vacation because gas is $4.00 a gallon. It’s wrong what Roode did at the PPV so he’ll make it right at the PPV. Storm calls Roode out here right now so he can beat some right into him.

Instead he gets some guy in a suit who says his name is William Kelly and he’s Roode’s legal adviser. He has a statement from Roode which says Roode isn’t going to be around until Lockdown because that’s all he’s obligated to do and there’s an unsafe working environment. Ok now they’re flat out stealing from Smackdown. Roode suggests that Storm fight Daniels or Kaz tonight so Storm says he’ll fight both. Storm says he has a message for Roode. But the lawyer doesn’t have a pen. Instead, here’s a Last Call for the lawyer.

Angle says Hardy is crazy for wanting a rematch and is asked about Garrett surviving the five minute challenge. Garrett just happens to be walking by and Angle yells at him. There’s a three minute challenge tonight. Oh and Angle hates him.

Kurt Angle vs. Garrett Bischoff

Just a small observation: Christy Hemme can’t talk, but she looks GREAT in leather pants. This is a three minute challenge. They talk trash to start and Garrett gets shoved a few times. There’s a slap as they’re just standing there. One minute down. Garrett gets in some offense like a clothesline and flapjack plus that stupid falling Diamond Cutter that he does. Angle throws him to the floor and we have a minute to go. Garrett chills on the floor and plays keepaway. And here’s Gunner for the DQ at about 2:32.

Hardy makes the save.

The Guns are still coming back.

Tag Titles: Mexican America vs. Samoa Joe/Magnus

Mexican America still has jobs? Joe starts with Hernandez and pounds him down into the corner. Off to Magnus and the champions double team a bit, resulting in a Joe backsplash for two. SuperMex takes over on Magnus and hits a backbreaker for two. Anarquia comes in for all of two seconds before it’s back to Hernandez for a bearhug and jumping shoulder.

Hot tag brings in Joe who steps out of the way of a jumping Anarquia. Hernandez runs into the release Rock Bottom out of the corner. The Koquina Clutch puts Anarquia down but the girls distract the referee. The Repo Games guy comes back out and the referee STILL misses the tap so Hernandez breaks it up. Not that it matters as the finishing sequence from the champs pins Anarquia at 5:32.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here and the Repo Games guy was totally not needed. That didn’t add anything at all and I doubt more than two people in the arena had a clue who he was. I get that the Guns are coming back, but beating a bunch of teams we haven’t seen in months or teams that are thrown together isn’t going to make Magnus/Joe an interesting team to face them.

Hogan says he doesn’t know anything about being the new GM.

The Repo Games guy is back AGAIN and takes the car but has to duck a swing from Anarquia beforehand. Oh and he takes the girls who go willingly.

James Storm vs. Kazarian/Christopher Daniels

Daniels tries to jump Storm from the entrance which completely fails. Into the ring now and the heels don’t have to tag. There isn’t much to say here: they double team Storm for awhile but Storm comes back with the Last Call to Daniels to win in 3:15.

Rating: D. Whatever man. I get what they were going for here but this wasn’t interesting for the most part. Storm is still cool, but it’s a long way to get to Lockdown so he can win the title like he should have done months ago. I get that they had to have the title on Roode, but Storm has clearly been the hottest thing in the company for months. This was just a way to get Storm looking good.

Here are Sting and Dixie to do the GM thing. Sting says trust Hogan, Dixie says ok, Hogan comes out, Sting starts a Hogan chant, and we’re done.

Overall Rating: D. This was a pretty good sized step back for TNA. Let’s look at this show tonight. We had a title match ending in a run-in, we had a man defending a woman’s title, we had a three minute match ending with a run-in, we had a tag title match involving a run-in, we had a three minute handicap match. That’s not the most exciting wrestling in the world.

Then we get to the other annoying stuff: the booking of the show. There was WAY too much focus on Hogan/Sting/Dixie, but it was nowhere near as annoying as the focus on the Repo Games guy. What does that do to benefit TNA? He was in THREE SEGMENTS with Mexican America and in the end, HE DIDN’T EVEN TAKE THEIR CAR. Storm is awesome at this point but he comes off like the third most important thing on the show at best. That’s not good and this Hogan/Sting/Dixie thing isn’t ending soon. That’s not good and it’s a sign that they’re shifting focus away from what’s been working for the past few weeks.

Results
Austin Aries vs. Anthony Nese vs. Zema Ion vs. Kid Kash went to a no contest when Bully Ray interfered
Eric Young/ODB b. Rosita/Sarita – Young pinned Rosita after The Bam from ODB
Garrett Bischoff b. Kurt Angle via DQ when Gunner interfered
Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Mexican America – Middle Rope Elbow to Anarquia
James Storm b. Christopher Daniels/Kazarian – Last Call to Daniels

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Victory Road 2012: I Want To Punch Twitter In The Face

Victory Road 2012
Date: March 17, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Welcome to the latest TNA filler PPV, Victory Road. That’s what’s plagued this show’s build: nothing on it is going to mean anything after tonight. It’s just a stop on the way to Lockdown, which has a few benefits actually. First of all, there aren’t any expectations for this show because none of it really matters. Second, sometimes it’s ok to not have a major main event every time as it makes the bigger main events seem more important. This has some potential to be good so let’s get to it.

We open with clips from last week’s Impact of Roode telling Sting that the business has passed him by and then Sting snapping.

Tenay and Taz talk about the show a bit and tell everyone to talk to them on Twitter. How about they just call the show instead?

Here’s Ray to open the show. He had said online that he was going to hold the show hostage. The idiot fans start a We Want D-Von chant. Ray says he’s trending worldwide because he’s taking this show over. The show isn’t continuing unless his match with Storm is a #1 contender match. Send referees, send security, send the police, he doesn’t care. Instead here’s Storm to say Ray has chicken legs. Storm says the #1 contendership is up for grabs RIGHT NOW.

James Storm vs. Bully Ray

So what was the point in having Ray come out there and talk for five minutes? The fans chant chicken legs and Ray beats Storm down into the corner. He goes for the beer, has a drink and walks into the Last Call for the pin at 1:08. Storm had legit ankle surgery this week which I’d bet is why the match wasn’t even a match. Storm only hit one move the entire time.

Aries answers Twitter questions. A fan wants to know when he’ll get to main event a show. Eric Bischoff comes in and tells JB to leave. JB: “Do you have any authority around here anymore?” Eric: “I can take you out so get out of here.” Is this tied into those comments Bischoff made on Twitter this week? Nothing of note is said here other than Aries is the main event no matter when he’s on the show.

Austin Aries vs. Zema Ion

Aries is the longest reigning champion in history and Ion won a match by DQ on Impact recently. James Storm is trending worldwide on Twitter. Geez you can’t escape it in any wrestling company anymore. The fans seem split so they start with a gymnastics routine resulting in Aries stealing the hairspray and laying on the top rope ala Shawn. Brainbuster is escaped and Ion is knocked to the floor off the top.

The suicide dive takes Ion down so Aries grabs a phone and tweets. Oh give me a break. Dropkick to the back gets two for the champ. Ion gets knocked to the apron and manages to guillotine Aries and take over. Tazz reads the tweet from Aries because that’s what you watch wrestling for: Twitter updates. Ion hits a corkscrew crossbody off the middle rope for two.

Zema pounds on him for awhile and tries Aries’ pendulum elbow with no success. Aries comes back with an atomic drop and pounds him into the corner. Ion loads the hairspray into his tights but is knocked down by a spinning forearm smash. Aries hits a knee crusher into a belly to belly followed by the pendulum elbow for two.

Ion gets knocked into the corner and does the old switch move of grabbing the title but as the referee takes it out, he pulls out the hairspray which goes into Aries’ eyes for two. Ion tries a superplex but Aries counters into a sunset bomb to put both guys down. Aries is still mostly blind. Not that it matters as he hits the brainbuster and rolls into the Last Chancery for the tap out at 11:04.

Rating: B-. Aries is a de facto face now due to pure crowd support but it’s going to be interesting to see what they do with him. He’s outgrown the X Division which is why the weight limit addition has been a bad thing for it. He’s going to have to move up soon though because there’s no point to him fighting these low level X guys anymore.

Tazz reads another tweet.

The Motorcity Machineguns are coming back soon.

We recap the tag title feud. The idea here is that Morgan and Crimson are champions but they started arguing over who should get the win and it resulted in them losing the titles. They won the right to a rematch here tonight and they’ve promised to put their differences aside.

Tag Titles: Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan

After TNA’s Powerpoint about the match we’re ready to go. Joe’s has a mowhawk now. Morgan and Crimson almost get into a fight over who should start. TWITTER UPDATE: Austin Aries is trending. Crimson and Magnus start and Magnus takes him down with a clothesline. Off to Joe to a big pop and he pounds Crimson down before quickly tagging Magnus back in.

Crimson goes to the corner but won’t tag. Instead he goes to the floor to get a breath and comes back in with a snapmare and clothesline. Off to a chinlock with Magnus in trouble. The idea here is that Crimson wants to do everything himself because he doesn’t need Morgan’s help. The fans chant that they want Morgan. Keep in mind that they wanted D-Von earlier so how much can they be trusted?

Spinebuster plants Magnus for two. Crimson hooks his cravate but Magnus fights out of it. He beats Crimson down well enough to make the tag but Crimson still won’t tag out. Joe snaps off punches so Crimson goes up and dives at Joe, who does the always cool step aside. Joe sends him to the corner and Morgan shoves Crimson out of the way and tags himself in. Morgan cleans house but Crimson tags himself back in after about thirty seconds.

Morgan tags himself back in and Crimson walks out. The champs destroy Morgan with double team combos (including a big boot that missed by about 9 inches to the left). Crimson says he’s the winner of this team so Morgan tries to fight alone. He manages to take the champs down but Crimson spears Morgan, allowing the champions to hit their finisher, resulting in the pin by Magnus at 10:12.

Rating: C. The match was a backdrop for an angle more than anything else which is ok. Crimson turning heel was something they almost had to do because his run could only go so long without focusing more on the winning streak. There isn’t much to say about the match but it wasn’t bad or anything.

During the replays we hear more Tweets.

JB apologizes for the Bischoff incident from earlier and asks Roode a question from Twitter about his main events at tonight’s show and then Lockdown. Sting’s career ends tonight and then at Lockdown….we’re not sure what’s going to happen because Storm pops up. He doesn’t want a match. He wants a fight and he wants it right now.

Taz and Tenay debate hashtags. Seriously, that’s what we’ve gotten to tonight.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. ???

This is another open challenge because we don’t have time to get the TV Title on TV since Garrett Bischoff needs to get his five minutes every week. Robbie says that there’s no open challenge tonight because everyone is afraid of him. The fans want RVD. Oh apparently the invitational is going to happen tonight but now fans can take him up on it. They go around the ring and Robbie makes fun of fans, including three overweight women. He asks Val, but says they’ll be “wrestling” later. Big Rob says she’s not on the list. This goes on forever. The open challenge is officially canceled so they’re going to pose instead. We have a challenger.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. D-Von

Yes, this is what’s on PPV. He comes through the crowd for some reason. Robbie backs off so Brian Hebner says we’re doing this. D-Von is in street clothes. There’s another Tweet. One man flapjack puts Robbie down and a clothesline puts him on the floor. Matt Morgan is trending. Robbie tries to get a chair but BROOKE HOGAN stops him. I kid you not, she’s in the front row and grabbed the chair from him. Back in and D-Von runs him over with clotheslines and shoulder blocks. A splash in the corner sets up a clothesline for two. A spinebuster gives D-Von the title at 3:02. Just retire the title. Now.

Rating: F. D-Von Dudley is a singles champion. Never mind that it’s 2012. D-Von freaking Dudley is a singles champion. That doesn’t need any more explanation. Oh and Brooke Hogan was involved in this. They did fire Russo didn’t they? I mean….D-VON JUST WON A TITLE. With the roster they have, they pick him? Who thinks that’s a good idea?

Dixie says Slammiversary is going to be in Dallas/Fort Worth. She’ll be ringside for the main event tonight.

We recap Gail vs. Madison. They were friends, then they started fighting, then Madison snuck into a battle royal to become #1 contender, then they lost the tag titles and here’s the match.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim

Madison’s looking good as always. D-Von is the #1 trend worldwide. It’s true: 2012 is the apocalypse. Very slow match to start with Madison in control. She chokes in the corner as Taz reads tweets. Gail takes the knee out but Madison pops up so they can slug it out. Gail hits a middle rope cross body and a missile dropkick for two each. This is going nowhere. Gail tries to use the tights but gets two. Taz misreads a Twitter handle and Tenay cracks up. It wasn’t funny but then again Twitter handles shouldn’t be read here. Eat Defeat is avoided but the second attempt works at 7:07. I can’t believe I had that little to say in seven minutes.

Rating: D. This was nothing. Madison looked good but that’s about it. This show has been pretty awful so far as the constant Twitter references are really taking me out of the show. This is worse than even WWE with that stuff. The match had no heat at all, probably because everyone was in shock at the previous match.

It’s 9:22 and we have three matches left.

JB is with Daniels and Kaz and asks something he heard about on Twitter recently: why has his attitude changed? Before he can answer, Daniels says he runs the show here. In a nice bit of continuity, Daniels has tape under his eye from the cut Anderson gave him “last week”.

We recap AJ/Anderson vs. Daniels/Kaz. In chapter 19874 of Daniels vs. AJ, Kaz has apparently been coerced or brainwashed into going against AJ. Daniels thinks maybe the problem is with AJ instead of everyone else. Styles says he’s not going to associate with friends anymore, so he brought in Anderson to help him.

Christopher Daniels/Kazarian vs. Mr. Anderson/AJ Styles

As is the custom, we update Twitter before we get the match going. Anderson and Kaz start Anderson throws him around the ring and it’s off to AJ quickly. Daniels comes in to meet him and they fight over a headlock. They run each other over and AJ hooks an armdrag to grab an armbar. Dixie Carter is in the front row with the host of some Spike show called Repo Games. He’ll be at Impact also. Ten points if they bring in Barry Darsow for a showdown.

Anderson and AJ pinball Daniels back and forth with right hands. Everything breaks down and Kaz and Daniels are thrown into each other. Anderson drops elbows on Daniels and it’s AJ vs. Daniels once things calm down. AJ hits a spinning delayed vertical suplex for two. Back to Anderson but Daniels gets in a knee so he can tag. Kaz gets thrown down quickly and Styles comes back in. The tags are very fast.

An elbow puts AJ onto the floor and Daniels takes over. Daniels hooks an abdominal stretch and AJ is in trouble. A boot to the face keeps him down, so LET’S READ TWEETS! This is ridiculous. The show is already bad but this is making it unbearable. Daniels stays on the ribs but when he and Kaz try to double team, AJ manages to clothesline Daniels and Pele Kaz to put them both down. Hot tag to Anderson who cleans house. Mic Check to Kaz is broken up and Daniels hits an STO to take him down. Springboard clothesline takes Kaz down and everything breaks down.

In a SWEET counter, AJ tries the moonsault into the DDT but Daniels drops to his back and puts his feet in the air so that AJ slams his face into them. Daniels and Anderson go to the floor after AJ makes a blind tag. AJ tries a springboard sunset flip but Kaz counters into the Fade to Black, but AJ rolls through into the Styles Clash for the pin at 13:58.

Rating: C+. The decent match made the show better, but this show has really taken its toll on me. AJ vs. Daniels is a feud that I’m tired of. They’ve feuded literally for years on and off and AJ always comes out on top, which makes things pretty boring at the end of the day. Pretty good match though.

Angle is in the back and says hi to his son. Usually he doesn’t let him watch violence, but Angle wants his son Cody to see his son hero get destroyed. He talks about the things he’s going to do to Jeff with a sick happiness in his voice. Tonight, Jeff gets an Extreme Makeover. See, this was what you call a promo. No Twitter questions were needed, and it actually got me thinking about the match. Why is that the first one of these tonight?

We recap Angle vs. Hardy. Angle cost him the world title because his son likes Jeff Hardy too much so he’s going to beat Hardy up for it.

Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle

Hardy goes around the ring to shake hands and hug fans, including hugging Brooke. The fans are somewhat split but Hardy is getting louder chants. Their match a year and a half ago at No Surrender was awesome so maybe this can be good too. Feeling out process to start and Kurt bails to the floor. With that, this is officially longer than Jeff’s Victory Road match last year. Back inside and Jeff runs him out again. They have a lot of time left in the show so they’re probably stalling a bit.

Back in and Kurt takes it to the mat with a chinlock. Jeff counters so Kurt elbows him in the face. Kurt takes a knee to the gut and seemed to land awkwardly. He seems ok though. Hardy comes out of the corner with a headscissors to send Kurt to the outside. Hardy controls out there but back inside Kurt pounds him down in the corner. Twitter stuff. Hardy comes back with the legdrop between the legs and a dropkick for two.

Out to the floor again and Hardy rams Kurt’s head into a chair. Kurt tries to ram him into the steps but Hardy reverses and it’s Kurt that crashes. Jeff sets up the steps for Poetry in Motion but crashes into the barricade. And they wonder why he’s addicted to painkillers. Jeff’s tailbone hit the barricade and Kurt goes after him. He gets two inside and hits a suplex for two. Off to a rear chinlock.

Jeff fights up but walks into a belly to belly to put him right back down. Hardy gets his feet up in the corner and a clothesline to put Kurt down. They get back up and Jeff throws punches to set up the Whisper in the Wind for two. Twist of Fate is countered into Rolling Germans, four in this case. Angle Slam is countered into the Twisting Stunner but Angle runs the corner to counter the Swanton with the belly to belly.

Kurt hooks the ankle lock but Jeff kicks off after a few seconds. Angle misses a charge and hits the post and a Twist of Fate gets two. Angle rolls to the outside and Hardy rams his head into the steps a few times. There goes the shirt and he loads up the Swanton but Kurt gets the knees up. Angle Slam gets two. Kurt has a cut over his left eye. He chokes Jeff with one of the sleeves that Hardy wears but another Slam is countered into Twist #3. Both guys are down. Back up and the mule kick puts Kurt down. Swanton hits but Jeff covers sloppily, allowing Kurt to roll him up and grab the rope for the pin (Jeff’s shoulder was up) at 19:45.

Rating: B. I’ve said this a lot of times but it’s still true: a lot of the time, the solution to your problems is to have a good wrestling match. This started slow but they got into Kurt’s formula which is guaranteed to be at least good. The ending sets up a rematch, likely as captains of the Lethal Lockdown teams next month. Match of the night by far.

We recap the show to fill in more time.

Roode vs. Sting is now falls count anywhere, no DQ.

Jeremy gives us a long Twitter update and asks Sting a question. He says he’s tired of Facebooking and Tweeting so it’s time to wrestle.

We recap the main event, which is Sting tormenting Roode, which Roode says is because Sting is jealous of Roode.

Sting vs. Bobby Roode

Non-title and no holds barred. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. This is just no holds barred, despite them saying falls count anywhere earlier. Do those go together now? Sting starts off fast and beats the champion down pretty easily. He hits a lot of clotheslines and knocks Roode to the floor. They fight up the ramp (which means Sting beats the tar out of him) and then back to ringside to send Roode into the steps.

The fans chant “over here” so Sting beats him up wherever chants the loudest. Roode manages to send him into the post but Sting counters a chair shot. Roode goes into the barricade and Sting knocks him into the crowd. Back to ringside and Sting takes a thumb to the eye. The champ rams Sting’s leg into the post and Sting is in trouble. Roode stays on the knee for a few minutes while Taz reads a Tweet from an 85 year old grandmother.

It’s figure four time but Sting rolls over after about a minute. Roode continues to channel his inner Flair and chops at Sting, which just like Flair’s, don’t work at all on him. Now Sting goes after the knees and after a superplex, it’s Scorpion time. Roode makes the rope and comes back with a spear for two. The champ brings in a chair and sets for either a powerbomb or piledriver but Sting backdrops him to the apron. Sting tries a Death Drop onto the chair but he rams his own head into the chair. Roode wakes up and covers for the pin at 16:50.

Rating: C+. The ending brought this down a bit. Sting matches have a really bad habit of ending out of nowhere. This also really doesn’t help Roode because Roode lucks out again. Roode needed to go over strong here but instead he looks like he got lucky to win the match over a part time wrestler. That’s not good, again. Has he won a major match on his own merits since he’s been champion? Sting is great in this role as part time wrestler and as a special attraction as he can still do well enough out there.

Post match it’s time for the big evil angle. Roode gets the chair and yells at Dixie, then pulls her over the railing and into the ring. Sting makes the save but once he turns to check on Dixie, Roode hits him with the chair. Roode gets some duck tape and ties Sting to the bottom ropes. He goes to hit Sting with the chair but Dixie is untying him. Roode gets in her face and yells at her, rubbing her face for some reason. He yells at her…and that’s it. He doesn’t hit her, he doesn’t shove her, nothing. This would have been more effective, except NO ONE CARES ABOUT DIXIE CARTER!

Overall Rating: D+. The last 50 minutes of the show brought it up A LOT, but earlier on the show was absolutely dreadful. The in ring work earlier was ok to bad, but the point of this show was the Twitter. They went WAY too far with that nonsense where even the wrestlers weren’t answering the questions. It got stupid and was really taking away from the show, which was just ok anyway. On top of that, we had Storm cut short (not their fault) and D-Von winning a title. I still can’t get over that. Anyway, bad show but the last part helped it. They’re probably lucky that non many people were watching tonight though.

Results
James Storm b. Bully Ray – Last Call
Austin Aries b. Zema Ion – Last Chancery
Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Matt Morgan/Crimson – Middle Rope Elbow To Morgan
D-Von b. Robbie E – Spinebuster
AJ Styles/Mr. Anderson b. Christopher Daniels/Kazarian – Styles Clash to Kazarian
Kurt Angle b. Jeff Hardy – Pin while holding the rope
Robert Roode b. Sting – Pin after Sting hit his head on a chair




Victory Road 2012 Preview

I’m fairly optimistic about this show.The good thing about this show is that it has no pressure on it because it’s just a stop on the way to Lockdown.  On the other hand, the bad thing about this show is that nothing on it really matters because it’s just a stop on the road to Lockdown.  What that means is that it has the potential to be something fun in the moment but that it’s probably not going to mean anything past tomorrow night.  That’s probably a good thing though, given that they’ll start the build to Lockdown soon after this.

 

Roode should and probably will beat Sting.  Roode has been feuding with Sting since winning the title and they need to put this behind them.  A decisive victory over Sting with a clean (as clean as you can get in a no holds barred match that is) pin would do a lot for Roode and would make him look like a bigger deal than he is right now.  Should be fun.

 

Storm over Ray, duh.  This doesn’t need much of an explanation.

 

Tag champs to retain as the Morgan vs. Crimson feud goes to Lockdown, hopefully with a turn in there somewhere.

 

Aries to retain, just due to me not wanting Ion on my TV screen anymore than he has to be.

 

Hardy over Angle but this is going to Lethal Lockdown.

 

Uh….Gail and AJ/Anderson win via coin flip.

 

The TV Title…..nobody cares.

 

Thoughts/predictions?




Monday Nitro – January 6, 1997: How Many Times Can We Talk About Hogan Vs. Giant In One Show?

Monday Nitro #69
Date: January 6, 1997
Location: Monroe Civic Center, Monroe, Louisiana
Commentators: Larry Zbyzsko, Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

So as I talked about, the Youtube channel I used got shut down and I don’t have any of those shows left. That being said, it means we’ll get to the PPVs and the Raws and Nitros a lot faster now. This is the beginning of a new year and we’re beginning to build towards Souled Out with the first man thrown out of the NWO, the Giant, challenging Hogan for the title. Let’s get to it.

Glacier vs. Bobby Eaton

We immediately start with a match which is a cool thing to see. Glacier takes him down with a leg sweep to start. An armdrag sets up an armbar (yes, a non kick from Glacier) which goes nowhere. Bobby tries a leap frog but Glacier rolls between his legs which results in Eaton landing on him. Glacier kicks hits a spin kick for two and another kick for the quick pin.

We recap the epic Bubba vs. Konnan feud. Tonight it’s a Mexican strap match between an American an a Cuban in Cajun country. Only in wrestling.

Big Bubba vs. Konnan

This is the touch all four corners style. Konnan slugs away but gets clotheslined down quickly. Bubba whips him very slowly and Larry sounds like he has a sore throat. Tony says Bubba is an integral part of the NWO. I hope his parents got him a dictionary for Christmas. Konnan hits him low with the strap so Bubba punches him in the face with the strap around his fist.

Bubba taps the first corner and Konnan jumps on his back with a sleeper. Bubba slaps two more corners along the way but Konnan breaks the momentum. Tony and Larry talk about what Piper was saying last week when he was leaving to avoid talking about his boring match. Konnan starts his comeback and uses the strap to take Bubba down. He gets two corners and has his momentum broken to further this. Konnan gets three but is kicked down. For some reason this doesn’t mean the momentum is broken so Bubba “punches” (you could fit a softball between his fist and Konnan’s face) him into the corner for the win.

Rating: F. See, this is what I don’t get: what reason is there for a strap match? It’s a feud that no one wants to see with two guys that mean nothing at all and the ending was stupid. The announcers didn’t care about it and this is the third week that this feud has been going on. Oh and the replay shows that Bubba’s hand was open so even if the shot had hit, it would have been more like a backhand slap.

Bubba beats him down post match to make sure the NWO looks strong.

Gene is with Kevin Sullivan and has a tape for him but Sullivan doesn’t want to see it. He says there’s something between the two of them that can’t be settled. Gene says the footage is of someone other than Benoit/Woman and Sullivan says it better not be before he leaves.

Here are the Horsemen minus Benoit. Anderson is upset that he’s not here but Flair implies that he’s off screwing Woman. Debra runs her mouth again about how great the rest of the team is and how they’re always here but Benoit never is. My goodness she’s annoying. Woman is ugly and fat apparently and Mongo is a professional. Speaking of annoying, here’s Jeff Jarrett to say he should get Benoit’s spot. Anderson vetoes that almost immediately because Jeff whines too much. Jeff says that Anderson has played second fiddle the whole year so he’s here to talk to the horse’s head, not the rear. Guess what happens.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Arn Anderson

Arn is in street clothes and beats Jeff all the way to the ring. Jeff comes back and gets sent to the floor but comes back in, hits a neckbreaker and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Flair goes after Debra for some reason and Mongo gets in his face. Flair has to break it up and this is making my head hurt. In case you can’t tell, Benoit isn’t around but that’s ok with Flair. Jarrett wants in and Debra thinks Jeff is cute so she supports his membership. Mongo supports who Debra supports but Anderson doesn’t want Jeff in and Flair is stuck in the middle. This is of course being done while the NWO is invading and the most elite group is too busy fighting because of Debra. Don’t you just love that Bischoff booking? Anderson walks out. He would only have one more match on Nitro so that’s one of his last walks out.

Souled Out ad.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Diamond Dallas Page

And there’s no Page. Regal comes out to new music and there’s a replacement.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Jim Duggan

These are old stomping grounds for Duggan who used to be a big star in Mid-South. The bell rings and the NWO comes out to take over commentary. Now we get the match going as I think Nash thanks his third grade teacher for making him awesome. Oh wait that’s Eric. Duggan takes over with clotheslines and the NWO implies Page has joined them. The match turns into a boxing match with Duggan taking over.

The talk turns to Souled Out because that’s what announcers in WCW do. They talk about the Miss NWO contest at the PPV as Duggan knocks Regal to the floor again. Duggan takes him down with a shoulder and I don’t think Regal has gotten a single shot in yet. Regal finally gets in some kicks to take over but Duggan punches him back. Off to a chinlock as the announcers talk about the WCW contract issues. Savage can’t join the organization apparently. The guys collide and Duggan gets the tape out. He knocks Regal out (referee is cool with it) but the time expires. The match would have run about eight and a half minutes.

Rating: D. Now I’m sure a lot of people are going to say “You just don’t get the point and the show is supposed to be about pushing the NWO.” Yeah, I do get that. However, it gets REALLY annoying hearing about it the whole show. It’s like Cole today: we get it but he keeps saying the same things over and over because we’re too stupid to get it the first time. It gets old in a hurry and it’s only going to get worse.

Duggan waves a WCW flag post match.

Jim Powers vs. Hugh Morrus

The announcers talk about Jim Duggan and how the NWO announcers wouldn’t talk about the Giant because they’re cowards. Powers hits his usual stuff which is mostly no sold. Morrus takes him down and the moonsault gets the pin. Basically a squash.

Hour #2 begins.

We recap the Horsemen split from earlier.

Rey Mysterio vs. Psicosis

Ok this has to be good right? It’s not that the matches so far have been bad but if they’re treated like nothing of importance, why should I care about them? When you have the NWO driven down your throat the whole time, you get annoyed by the matches which aren’t that great in the first place. They spin around a lot and Rey is sent to the floor. Psicosis hits a rope assisted moonsault but mostly misses to give Rey the advantage.

We hear about Liger winning the J-Crown but not the Cruiserweight Title because the match was signed before Dragon won that title. Makes sense. Psicosis takes over and hits a nice top rope spinwheel kick for two. Rey gets sent to the floor and Psicosis sets for a dive. After slipping the first time (but landing on his feet in the ring) he dives to the floor and slams his face into the barricade in a painful looking spot.

Liger vs. Dragon for the title is announced for COTC. Psicosis takes Rey down again and hits the guillotine legdrop (love that move) for two. A BIG powerbomb gets two and we hear about the Steiners coming back to challenge the Outsiders at Souled Out. Another powerbomb attempt is countered into a sunset flip with a bridge for two. Mysterio goes to the apron and hits the West Coast Pop for the pin. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: B-. Yeah this was good. First and foremost….well first and foremost the match was good. Second and secondmost, the announcers didn’t talk about the NWO the whole time. They talked about some other cruiserweight stuff, but at least it was related to this. That helped things tremendously here and the match was much more enjoyable as a result. Good stuff.

We get a clip from Starrcade of Eddie getting beaten up which apparently is the wrong clip.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Chavo Guerrero

We were supposed to see a clip of Sullivan at Starrcade hitting Benoit. They start fast and Sullivan doesn’t even take his robe off. Chavo gets sent to the floor but comes back with a missile dropkick to both Sullivan and Jimmy Hart. We get the aforementioned clip of Sullivan breaking a chair over Benoit’s head at the PPV. Things slow way down and Sullivan hits the Tree of Woe and double stomp for the pin. Too short to mean much but it wasn’t bad.

We get a clip of Hogan hitting Piper’s hip with a chair last week. Piper screamed incoherently the whole time he was taken out so we spend a few minutes trying to figure out what he was saying because it’s so important right? We even get EXCLUSIVE footage of Piper being put into the ambulance and Piper shouts even more. He’s since said it was the last night of his career. Right.

US Title: Alex Wright vs. Eddie Guerrero

Syxx stole the belt at Starrcade but Eddie faces him in a ladder match at Souled Out. They shake hands to start and exchange dropkicks with Wright’s knocking him to the floor. Back in and it’s time to talk about Hogan! Eddie takes him to the mat as some idiot says this is boring. The champ comes back with a kind of leg lariat and the slingshot hilo for two.

Off to an armbar (on the right arm for some reason) as this match is totally being ignored. Clothesline gets two for Wright and it’s off to a chinlock. Wright snaps off some European uppercuts and it’s back to the chinlock. Here’s Syxx to make sure our NWO quota is met for the segment. He sits on a ladder while wearing a belt and Tony says go up and knock him off of it.

Eddie looks at Syxx and walks into a northern lights suplex and then a backbreaker, both for two. Back to the chinlock for a bit and then Alex hits a top rope sunset flip for two. Spinwheel kick looks to set up a top rope double ax for no cover again. Northern lights suplex the sequel gets two. Alex goes up again but Eddie jumps up and hits a superplex for no cover again. Frog Splash keeps the title in El Paso.

Rating: B-. See, this is a good example of the opposite of what I was talking about earlier. This was actually interesting and a good match which just happened to have a lot of NWO talk in it. I can overlook the chatter when the match is good which this was. I’d love to see some more of these two with about fifteen minutes and less Syxx.

Road report from Lee Marshall. Did he ever actually do anything on Nitro other than this?

Amazing French Canadians vs. Harlem Heat

The Heat clears the ring to start and Tenay actually brings up the history between the managers. Stevie and Jacques start us off and Stevie controls with power. Booker comes in, misses an elbow but Spinaroonis up. Harlem Side Kick takes Jacques down but Oulette comes in to cheat. Back in and a piledriver gets two for Jacques. Stevie comes in off the tag and cleans house. The Canadians mess up with a flag and Stevie knocks Oulette out so a powerbomb/top rope elbow combo can pin Jacques.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match here but it’s the textbook (what class is that? I’d love to take it) example of a filler match. You had a good team and a bad team and the good team beat the bad team with a double team move. I’m not sure what else there is to say here but it wasn’t bad or anything.

We get a clip from Starrcade of Luger vs. Giant and Sting whispering something in their ears.

Lex Luger vs. Meng

It’s a power match of course with neither guy moving much off anything done to them. Meng runs him over and stomps away. Then he stomps some more. A piledriver puts Luger down for two. Lex comes back with the forearm and a powerslam for two. Meng misses a charge in the corner and there’s the Rack but the referee goes down. Barbarian runs in and takes a powerslam as well. He Racks Barbarian and that’s good for the submission. Tenay: “Does it matter?” Tony: “You’re right Mike it doesn’t matter.”

Rating: D. Just a power match here but not a very interesting one. The ending makes it even worse as it was just stupid. I can get the referee not noticing in a stretch but seriously? Tony and Mike saying it doesn’t matter? Wait why am I surprised by this at all? Nothing match and that’s the main event people.

Here’s the NWO for the big ending segment. Eric praises Hogan for beating Piper twice in a week and then Giant by himself. Hogan talks about a battle royal which either never happened or that I don’t remember at all. I think it was the former and that he was talking about the ending to last week’s show. Here comes Giant and the people are two rows deep on the apron.

Giant cleans house and has Hogan all to himself. The right hand is caught and Bischoff hits Giant in the back while his legs were wide open. Nice job Bruce Lee. Hogan gets in a chair shot and Giant goes down…again. The NWO beats him down for awhile and then go to the announce desk. Sting comes out and checks on Giant. Sting points the bat at the NWO and drops the bat to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not a very good show this week but there were two very solid matches which bring it up a lot. This is a good example of where you can summarize the issue the NWO story had: if you didn’t like that story, you were screwed. It’s annoying hearing about it all the time but at least we didn’t have to hear about how great Piper the savior was this week. It’s a better show than recently due to the two good matches but other than that, not much due to having too many squashes.

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Impact Wrestling – March 15, 2012: Last Stop Before The Last Stop Before Lockdown With Roode In Blackface

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 15, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Victory Road which likely means that we’ll see more of a build between Roode vs. Sting. Also we’ve got Abyss running around (ok more like slowly walking) without his mask, talking about how he’s looking for his “brother”. That’s actually the most intriguing storyline on the show at the moment. Also there’s probably going to be more in the Bischoff saga. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Sting vs. Roode. Their contract signing is tonight. Shouldn’t that have been taken care of more than three days before the PPV?

Here’s Storm to talk about Bobby Roode. Roode is selfish and that’s what’s wrong with the world today: too many takers and not enough givers. At Lockdown, he’s going to give, want and take. He’s going to give Roode a whipping, Roode is going to want mercy and he’s going to take the world title. Storm isn’t sorry for Roode’s luck, because Roode is going to need all the luck he can get.

Storm is about to leave but here’s Ray. Ray says he kicked a chair into Storm’s head. Storm says he kicked Ray’s teeth down his throat. Ray says kiss my calves and that Storm isn’t making it to Lockdown. Storm goes into the aisle and wants to fight right now. They argue for awhile and Gunner comes out for some reason. He and storm get into it but suits and agents come out to break it up. Storm had ankle surgery earlier this week so hopefully he can go on Sunday.

Gail and Madison argue in the back even more and run into Sting. He tells them to chill because he’s got Roode on his mind. Gail vs. Mickie tonight and Madison vs. Velvet.

Roode rants about Sting being in the main event.

Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne

Madison tries to jump Velvet during her entrance but Velvet takes her down. No pigeons this week. Low dropkick gets two for Sky and here comes Madison. Madison chokes her on the ropes and hooks a cravate. That goes nowhere so Madison throws her to the floor. Neckbreaker gets two back inside. Off to a chinlock but Velvet comes back with a jawbreaker. Velvet comes back with forearms, a clothesline and a bulldog. Madison breaks up whatever Velvet was attempting out of a headlock. Velvet tries an O’Connor Roll but Madison reverses into one of her own and uses the tights for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: C-. Any match that ends with Velvet’s tights being pulled up is a good thing. This wasn’t that bad and they continue to be a million miles ahead of the Divas. Having four minutes and some personalities help with that though. Not a good match or anything but they weren’t horrible and the girls looked hot, which is all you can ask for most of the time.

Morgan and Crimson debate whether it’s about money or wins.

Crimson vs. Samoa Joe

Joe pounds him into the corner and hits the enziguri in the other corner. Knee drop gets two. Crimson comes back and takes Joe down, hitting a running low boot for two. Off to the Cravate and into a neckbreaker for two. Joe comes back with an atomic drop and a backsplash for two. Snap powerslam gets two for the Samoan. Crimson comes back with a spinebuster for two. Crimson charges into the release Rock Bottom in the corner and Joe loads up the MuscleBuster, but the partners get in a fight on the floor. The distraction allows Crimson to spear Joe for the pin at 4:31.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I expected to. Sometimes the idea is just to have guys use power moves on each other and that’s what we had here. I’m pretty tired of this feud but at least it’s probably getting close to being over. That being said, I’m not sure where they go with Crimson after this feud ends. He’s kind of stuck and he’s certainly not ready for the title picture yet. Hard to say.

Aries has champagne and is up next.

Back and Aries is in the ring. He talks about how he’s now the longest reigning X Champion ever and has a video about his greatness. He thanks the other X guys for not being that good and has a drink. Here’s Ion to interrupt. Zema says that last week he beat Aries at his (Ion’s) own game. Give him the title now, or Aries might suffer the same fate as Jesse Sorensen. Aries lets Ion do the toast and the drink goes in Aries’ face. Aries pours the rest of the bottle on him and throws Ion out like trash.

Joseph Park (is it Park or Parks?) talks to Gunner but Gunner blows him off.

We recap the proposal last week. The two of them are in the back and discuss the wedding plans. They debate places they could have the wedding. Yep, it’ll be in the ring.

Angle doesn’t like Garrett Bischoff or Jeff Hardy.

Sting says you’ll see every side of Sting’s personality and career on Sunday.

Mickie James vs. Gail Kim

Mickie controls to start and throws her to the mat for two. Out to the floor and Gail grabs the belt. She gets it knocked out of her hands and Mickie brings her back in. Mickie tries to hook a victory roll in the corner but Gail Stuns her leg to take over. Gail works on the knee for a long while but gets rolled up for two. Neckbreaker gets two for Mickie as does the middle rope Press. Gail goes to the floor and this time the belt shot works, getting the pin at 5:21.

Rating: C. This was better than the previous match but the ending sucked. I guess they had to keep Mickie looking strong for some reason but they couldn’t let the champion lose before the PPV. Not a bad match and Mickie had a lot of upskirt shots which is never a bad thing. Decent little match.

Anderson is in the back and Daniels/Kaz bring up some lemonade. They want to know what Anderson is doing in this because he’s not involved. Also why pick AJ’s side instead of theirs? There’s a tag match Sunday.

Christopher Daniels vs. Mr. Anderson

Tenay suggests that Kaz is suffering from Stockholm Syndrome with Daniels. Anderson starts fast and sends Daniels to the floor. Daniels is bleeding from the cheek a bit. Anderson sends him into the barricade and then back inside. We talk about Joseph Park and apparently he’s an attorney from Chicago. Anderson gets a rollup for two but Daniels comes back with a bridging northern lights suplex for two. A slingshot moonsault eats knees though and Anderson hooks a neckbreaker for two. Daniels tries something in the corner but gets caught in the rolling fireman’s carry slam for two. Here’s Kaz but AJ pulls him off the apron and knocks him to the back. Mic Check gets the pin at 5:45.

Rating: C-. I’m not a fan of either of these guys and this was no exception. I don’t really get the point of this feud, but that might be because I’m tired of AJ vs. Daniels. For some reason the people love it though and that’s why it keeps happening. As for Anderson being AJ’s partner….I guess someone had to.

Kurt Angle vs. Garrett Bischoff

This is a five minute challenge and the latest chapter in “How many big stars can we put Garrett in the ring with in the hopes that someone cares about him because the guy has NO freaking talent but he’s Eric Bischoff’s son and since Eric Bischoff never learned from Erik Watts or Vince McMahon and doesn’t get that most people’s kids can’t freaking wrestle he’s putting his son out there with guys like Hogan and Angle when the kid can barely do anything beyond an armdrag but that’s not his fault because really, would you say no to the spot” story.

Angle dominates him and takes him to the mat with ease. He hooks a chinlock and then throws Garrett to the floor. Bischoff gets in some right hands but gets caught in a snap suplex on the floor. Angle suplexes him a lot as the clock starts to run out. Garrett escapes the Angle Slam and throws Kurt to the floor with thirty seconds to go. Angle hits the Slam with 2 seconds left but the time expires.

Rating: D. So what was the point of this? Garrett can take a beating for a long time, throw Kurt to the floor and not get pinned even though he got killed? Knowing TNA, they’ll praise him for being gutsy and accomplishing more than anyone thought he could or some nonsense like that. I’m so tired of this, and it’s really not Garrett’s fault.

Angle puts him in the ankle lock until Jeff makes the save.

The Robs have nothing to say but there’s another open challenge this Sunday.

We run down the card for Sunday and Sting vs. Roode is no holds barred.

James Storm vs. Gunner

They slug it out to start and Gunner goes to the eyes. Gunner takes over quickly and throws Storm to the floor for a bit. Back in and Gunner cranks on the neck as Ray tells Gunner to put his fist into Storm’s head. Storm comes back with clotheslines and forearms followed by the Codebreaker (now dubbed Closing Time). Last Call ends this at 3:51.

Rating: D+. Not much here but it’s good to have Storm get a win like this before the match on Sunday. Gunner is still almost entirely worthless in important matches but having him as a jobber to the stars isn’t a bad idea. Storm continues to look like a star in the last few months and hopefully he gets the title at Lockdown as he should.

Video on Roode vs. Sting and their match at Victory Road.

Both Sting and Roode are in the ring for the contract signing. Both sign and then Roode has something to say. He remembers becoming the world champion and every day since then, Sting has been a thorn in his side. Twenty two years ago Sting won his first world title and had everything going for him. Now Sting is jealous of Roode because he sees himself 22 years ago but even better. Sting is always around stealing the spotlight from the younger guys and why?

Sting isn’t as young as he used to be and is getting older and slower. He wears face paint to hide what he sees because he knows he doesn’t have it anymore. This is all Roode talking in case that wasn’t clear. On Sunday, Roode is going to expose him for someone that should have left a long time ago.

Sting stands up and puts paint on his face but Roode says he’s not afraid of it. Now Sting puts the paint on Roode’s face and beats him up, destroying his knee in the process with kicks. He clotheslines Roode to the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This wasn’t much as its own show but it built up the PPV quite well. Now that being said, I’m not particularly interested in the show on Sunday. It couldn’t be more of a filler PPV before the major show in Lockdown anyway but that means it has no expectations, which usually tend to be better shows. It should be somewhat entertaining though.

Results
Madison Rayne b. Velvet Sky – Rollup with a handful of tights
Crimson b. Samoa Joe – Spear
Gail Kim b. Mickie James – Pin after a shot with the Knockouts Title Belt
Mr. Anderson b. Christopher Daniels – Mic Check
Kurt Angle vs. Garrett Bischoff went to a time limit draw
James Storm b. Gunner – Last Call

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Impact Wrestling – March 8, 2012: Garrett’s Main Event

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 8, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

If I remember right there’s this show and then another before Victory Road. The majority of the card is already set and we should be getting more of Sting vs. Roode’s build up tonight. I barely remember Impact from last week and that’s probably not a good thing. As for the rest of the PPV the card is also set and I’m looking forward to Storm vs. Ray, which I didn’t expect to happen. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Garrett/Eric situation.

Garrett arrives earlier today and isn’t worried about what Flair said earlier today.

Immortal (yes they’re really calling them that still) opens us up. It’s Flair, Eric and Gunner if you’re keeping track. There’s going to be a tag match later, presumably Garrett and a partner vs. Flair/Gunner. Eric thanks Flair for threatening Garrett. Garrett is watching in the back. Oh Gunner has to pick a partner too. Here’s Angle who apparently wants to be Gunner’s partner. Eric is very enthusiastic about Angle wanting to be the partner. Angle says he hates Garrett because Garrett disrespects his dad. Hogan is out of the country apparently.

Sting is putting the makeup on in the back and talks to Roode. Eric Young comes in and Sting looks embarrassed. Eric wants to impress ODB so Sting calls him Bobby and gives ODB a shot at the Knockout Tag Titles. Her partner for the women’s tag titles: Eric.

Knockout Tag Titles: Eric Young/ODB vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

Eric starts with Gail but ODB tags herself in. Gail runs and is promptly clotheslined. Off to Madison who looks great in red. The champs work over ODB with some double teaming. Madison takes a clothesline to the ribs which was supposed to be a spear I think. Either way it allows the double tag and Eric locks up with the referee. Eric puts both girls in an airplane spin and ODB clotheslines them both down. There go Eric’s pants and Madison hits Eric with a title, knocking him onto Gail for the pin and the titles at 5:48.

Rating: D. I hate this angle. I’ve made that quite clear over the past few months and I don’t think it really requires a lot of explanation. Eric Young and ODB are supposed to be funny but they aren’t. It’s the most forced comedy I’ve seen in a very long time. It’s like taking the ingredients of a cake and putting them on a table and calling it a cake. It doesn’t quite work.

Eric proposes post match but we cut away before the answer.

Post break he actually asks (he was just on a knee with a ring before) and ODB says nothing. Instead she takes the ring and drops to her knee. Eric says yes.

Mr. Parks, presumably Abyss’ dad (James Mitchell anyone?) arrived earlier. He looks like Penn Jillette.

Ray says Storm isn’t making it to Lockdown.

Aries gets an e-mail from Sting saying Ion gets his title match tonight. “So why should they buy the PPV then?” The second biggest wrestling company in America ladies and gentlemen.

X-Division Title: Austin Aries vs. Zema Ion

Aries takes over to start and puts Ion on the mat, resulting in a lap around the ring. He Stuns Ion on the ropes then adds a hilo and elbow for two. Ion hits a spinning dive out of the corner and takes it to the floor. Ion sets for a dive to the floor but gets caught by a running Aries. He chops Ion to the floor but misses a dive. Back in Ion rakes the eyes and goes for his hairspray. The brainbuster is countered and we almost lose a referee. Ion misses the hairspray and Aries gets the can, spraying it in Ion’s eyes for the DQ at 3:52.

Rating: C. Just ok here but I guess it allows them to have a rematch at the PPV. I mean, we didn’t need to see the match for the first time on PPV or anything so we can just show part of it here right? Anyway, not much of a match due to the time. Also with this win, Aries officially has the longest title reign in the history of the X Title.

Mr. Parks talks to Velvet and apparently he’s Abyss’ brother. The family is looking for Abyss and Velvet thinks it was kind of creepy.

Here’s Ray to say that he’s the guy who knocked Storm’s brains out last week. He demands that Sting come out here and make him the #1 contender. Here’s Sting who asks what Ray wants. Ray keeps saying Bobby Roode so Sting says…..ok and it’s after the break. Ray is stunned but happy.

After a break, Sting says that this isn’t a title match but I don’t think Ray knows that.

Bully Ray vs. Bobby Roode

Ray yells a lot and they lock up. Roode grabs a headlock but a shoulder runs him over. The champ slaps Ray and looks all terrified. He fires off some kicks and elbows but walks into a backdrop and side slam for two. Ray wins a quick slugout but Roode hits something close to his Blockbuster for two. Bully makes a face comeback and hits a Rock Bottom for two. Big boot misses and Roode spears him down for two. Roode goes for the chain but Ray knocks Roode down in the corner. And here’s Storm to chase Ray off. He superkicks Roode and it’s thrown out at roughly 6:30.

Rating: C. Ray’s face comeback in there was kind of weird. He’s one of those heels that is working very well but the Impact Zone is screwing it up by cheering him as they do with everyone else. The match wasn’t much but with about six minutes and no real finish, what else could they really do?

Garrett is confident about his partner.

Abyss’ brother talks to Morgan/Crimson but can’t get any answers. They have the Robs tonight.

Crimson/Matt Morgan vs. Robbie T/Robbie T

They’re in matching pink cardigans. This is for the #1 contendership. Crimson and Big Rob start and Crimson takes over. The referee gets distracted though and the clipboard goes upside Crimson’s head to put him in peril. Big Rob poses too long, allowing Crimson to avoid a shot and bring in Morgan. House is cleaned, Carbon Footprint hits but Crimson tags himself in to steal the pin at 4:00.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here at all but it furthered the big guys having issues which is the issue going into the title match. I’m sure it’ll lead to Morgan vs. Crimson again eventually which isn’t something that I’m going to get behind but it’s logical at least. Nothing here though and it was a formality.

AJ has a surprise for Kaz and Daniels.

Angle and Gunner aren’t worried about Garrett and he’s going to the hospital.

Here’s AJ to a big reaction. He talks about the tenth anniversary coming up and how they’re here because of the people. Daniels cuts him off and says he came back to stand by AJ’s side. However that got him nowhere so he decided to make it about himself. Kaz says that AJ is talking about all of the people that have turned on him so Kaz says that maybe it’s AJ that is the problem. That can’t be though, because he’s the Phenomenal AJ Styles so it COULDN’T be him right? AJ says Kaz is the reason he won’t associate himself with friends anymore. Now he’ll associate with a real….what’s the word he’s thinking of here?

Cue Anderson (now with his catchphrase instead of his name being shouted) to clear the ring. He’s back.

Garrett’s partner is ready.

From what I’ve seen, apparently Joe Parks is Abyss sans mask. I knew he looked familiar.

Gunner/Kurt Angle vs. Garrett Bischoff/???

It’s Jeff Hardy, shocking no one. Garrett is in the main event for the first time. For those of you paying attention, he’s now associated with Hogan, Flair, Sting, Angle and Hardy. Behold the power of nepotism people. Angle and Gunner jump them to start and it’s Hardy vs. Angle to get us going. Hardy takes a beating but manages to get a clothesline to take Angle down for about 20 seconds.

Off to Gunner as Garrett can’t get in yet. Back with Hardy taking a beating from Angle. Gunner comes in for a back elbow for two and it’s off to Angle again. Anderson vs. Daniels next week. Out to the floor and Gunner rams Jeff into the steel. Back in Jeff dives for the corner but gets caught in an ankle lock. He makes the rope and Gunner comes back in with a suplex for two.

Gunner hooks a sleeper as we’re running low on time. Jeff gets up and hits a Whisper in the Wind to put Gunner down but Angle distracts Garrett. It prevents a tag (kind of, as the referee wouldn’t have been there anyway) and Angle pulls Jeff back into the corner. And never mind as Jeff makes the tag a second later anyway. Gunner cleans house and hits a falling Diamond Cutter (Angle lands the same but he would be on Garrett’s back. Garrett fell forward if that makes more sense) on Kurt for two. Everything breaks down and the Swanton pins Kurt clean at 14:31.

Rating: C. Main event tag formula was at work here, but dang man did we really need to have Garrett in this spot on the card? He didn’t really do much at least which is probably a good thing. Jeff vs. Angle was a second story here but it didn’t get the focus that Garrett did. Anyway at least it wasn’t horrible.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a step down for them. We had a show with the world champion in action, two title matches (one with a title change) and a return of a former world champion, but Garrett Bischoff was in the main event. Other than that, the show was just kind of there. Stuff happened (without being advertised in advance of course) but nothing really that huge. Anderson is back and is thrown into AJ vs. Daniels so it doesn’t really mean much. Not a horrible show but it didn’t click like they were shooting for.

Results
Eric Young/ODB b. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne – Eric fell on Gail after being hit with a title belt
Zema Ion b. Austin Aries via DQ when Aries sprayed hairspray in Ion’s eyes
Bully Ray vs. Bobby Roode went to a no contest
Matt Morgan/Crimson b. Robbie E/Robbie T – Carbon Footprint to Robbie E

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