Impact Wrestling
Date: October 13, 2011
Location: Knoxville Civic Auditorium, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Bound For Glory and the card is mostly set I believe. The two big matches have been well built but I can’t say they have the same kind of pop as last year’s show did, at least not for me. I’d expect a final push to the show and a lot of work being done for the importance of how big this show is for TNA. Hogan vs. Sting should get roughly 7 segments. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about the two main events as you would expect.

Hogan is here.

Angle opens the show and wants to talk to Roode one more time. He talks about how he had Roode fight Fourtune and Roode passed the test. Angle says he’s better than all of Fourtune and he’s the best ever, which he’s going to prove again at BFG. He offers a handshake but Roode grabs the mic again. Roode talks about having heart and says he wants a clean match. They shake hands and say no interference. The lack of hatred and everything being based on respect is really hurting this build for me.

Angle goes to leave but says that tonight it’s Roode vs. Gunner/Jarrett.

RVD, AJ, Daniels and Lynn are all brawling in the back.

The brawl is still going after a break and they’re out on the ramp now. There’s a bell. Ok so it’s a match.

AJ Styles/Rob Van Dam vs. Christopher Daniels/Jerry Lynn

It’s a big brawl to start as Rob is missing. Oh there he is. Things finally get down to Daniels vs. AJ but it’s off to Rob quickly. Rob gets beaten down by some double teaming. Daniels and Lynn have some decent chemistry for a random pairing. Hot tag brings in AJ and he cleans house. We go to the floor and it’s time to dive! AJ hits the springboard forearm back in and loads up the Clash but Daniels escapes. Lynn is back in and takes the Clash for the pin at 5:50.

Rating: C+. This was kind of a crazy match but I think that was the point with the way the match started. It’s a decent match and the dives were pretty good. I’m always a fan of combining two feuds like this as you can build them both fairly well at once and it saves some time for other stuff later. It’s an old booking idea but it works very well and it did so here.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan

Morgan is all fired up to start and hits a running knee to set up the corner elbows. Joe hammers away with his usual strikes but when he puts Morgan up top, Morgan jumps over him and rolls Joe up for the pin at 2:09. That came out of nowhere.

Post match Joe goes after Morgan’s leg and gets a hold on it until Crimson comes out with a chair to clear the ring. Joe yells about the two of them always ganging up on him. He suggests a three way at the PPV and the non Samoans say ok.

There’s a new Jeff Hardy DVD. I’ll keep quiet on that.

Here’s Mexican America who wants to have Ink Inc out here. The fans chant USA and the tattoo guys talk about the tattoo they gave Anarquia recently. Ink Inc tells them to get out and a brawl breaks out. Mexican America takes over so the tattoo chick from the tattoo parlor comes in for the save. The tag match is made post brawl.

Jesse Sorensen/Brian Kendrick vs. Austin Aries/Kid Kash

The good guys dive out onto the floor to get us going. Kash vs. Sorensen gets us going and Sorensen uses his speed stuff to get going. A McGillicutter gets two. The heels take over quickly and we’re waiting on the hot tag to Kendrick. Kash tries a springboard moonsault and is supposed to hit the knees but hits most of the move instead. There’s the hot tag to Kendrick who cleans a few rooms. He tries Sliced Bread on both heels at once which makes them fight. Sorensen goes into Kash and Aries gets the belt but Kendrick hits a superkick and Sliced Bread for the pin at 4:34.

Rating: C. Not a bad match but the opener did it better. The idea here was to set up the title match and give us a reason to think Kendrick can win. I don’t get the point in having Kash and Aries fight out there but they were trying something I guess. Not a horrible match but it was pretty generic.

Here are the four Knockouts in the title match on Sunday plus Angelina. Madison is brought out with Karen and Traci has to trail behind. Karen talks about how she got them the PPV match because no one else wanted them. She talks about how she’s better than they are and singles out Velvet. They yell a lot and then Traci helps shove Karen down. It’s brawl time and security pulls them apart.

Ray is the enforcer for Anderson vs. Steiner later and says don’t tick him off.

AJ rants about Daniels, saying he ruined the relationship their families have. AJ gets in his truck and says he’s ready for an I Quit match. He shuts the door to his truck and Daniels decks him, tying a cord around Styles’ throat. Daniels lets go saying he wants everyone to hear AJ quit on Sunday.

Scott Steiner vs. Mr. Anderson

Ray is the guest referee. Steiner goes straight at Anderson with the power and a belly to belly gets two. There are the elbows and it’s still all Steiner. Ray is talking trash since he’s very good at it. Anderson grabs a neckbreaker for two. Mic Check hits but he’s in the rope before the referee can raise his hand for one. Anderson takes out Ray but comes back in for a low blow with the referee looking at Steiner as if to say “oh come on” but it’s not a DQ. Here’s Abyss for no apparent reason with Ray’s chain. Steiner holds Anderson up and it hits Steiner but that’s not a DQ. It is however enough for a pin at 4:03.

Rating: D. Am I watching ECW or something? The referee wasn’t bumped or anything. He watched all that happen and was totally cool with all of it. I get that it’s to build to the Abyss face turn eventually but it still was pretty stupid overall. Was there any reason to not have this be a DQ win for Anderson? I mean it’s not like it changes the ending or anything.

Post match Ray yells at Abyss as Immortal runs out. Abyss gets tired of being yelled at so he grabs Ray by the throat. It’s time for the Immortal beatdown and Ray brings in a table. Anderson finally runs out for the save but Ray runs over him and the Bubba Bomb puts Anderson through the table.

Angle comes up to Storm and tries to bring him to the dark side. Storm says he’s talking to Bobby and that’s about it.

Jarrett and Gunner say nothing of note about Bobby.

We run down the BFG card, which looks pretty stacked.

Video on Bobby Roode who is on a roll. Angle talks about how he has the experience and no pressure on him.

Bobby Roode vs. Jeff Jarrett/Gunner

Roode grabs a chair but it gets taken away from him. He fights them off for a bit but the numbers catch up with him pretty quickly. Roode sets for the Blockbuster on Gunner but Jarrett makes the save and the beating continues. After a double suplex Jarrett and Gunner do the Beer Money taunt which ticks Roode off. There’s the Blockbuster to Jeff and Gunner is sent to the floor. Stroke is countered into the spinebuster and the crossface goes on both guys but gets the tap from Gunner at 3:58.

Rating: C. It’s juts a handicap match here and a way for Roode to look good. That’s fine but the whole respect thing isn’t doing much for me as far as the build for the match goes. Not a bad match but it doesn’t really tell us anything that we don’t already know. Not bad but it wasn’t too bad overally.

Immortal comes out for the beatdown and Storm’s save attempt fails. Angle comes out to beat on Roode too but before he can get a hand on him Jeff Hardy runs out for the save. Storm doesn’t like it and Roode isn’t sure if he should shake Jeff’s hand. Eventually he shakes it. Hardy goes to leave but Storm stops him. Storm raises Hardy’s arm and shakes his hand.

Jeff says he’s back. That’s Hardy by the way. Jarrett comes up and yells at Hardy over a lot of things. He says they’ve been friends for a long time and that Jeff is out of chances. Hardy says he’ll be at BFG.

With about 5 minutes left in the show, it’s time for the Hogan/Sting contract signing. Both are in Hogan shirts and Hulk doesn’t want to sign. Sting signs but Hogan isn’t on yet. Ok so he signs it. Hogan stands up and turns over the table. Sting’s yellow shoes are great. Hogan says he’s been watching Sting avoid Hogan for over thirty years. He talks about how Sting could have fought Hogan any time ever and finally gets him here. This is Hogan’s last match but it’s going to be a fight. You need a contract for a fight? Hogan swears no interference and keeps saying gut instead of got.

And here’s Bischoff with a rebuttal. He’s mad about Sting hurting him a few weeks ago and threatens Sting. Sting turns his back and Hogan pops him with a chair and hammers away in the corner. Sting is being choked out as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: B. This was an excellent go home show. Yeah I said it. I’ve made no secret about the fact that I’m less than thrilled with the choices for the double main event and think that Hogan and Sting need to go away instead of taking the main event picture up, but this show built up that and Kurt vs. Roode very well. The whole card got something and having the segments for the main events not really take up all of the show was a hue plus. The pacing was good here too and it made for a great build for BFG, which should be a good show. I’m stunned but this was the best TNA show I’ve seen in longer than I can remember.

Results
AJ Styles/Rob Van Dam b. Christopher Daniels/Jerry Lynn
Matt Morgan b. Samoa Joe – Rollup
Jesse Sorensen/Brian Kendrick b. Austin Aries/Kid Kash – Sliced Bread to Kendrick
Mr. Anderson b. Scott Steiner – Pin after Abyss hit Anderson with a chain
Bobby Roode b. Gunner/Jeff Jarrett – Crossface

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Battlebowl
Date: November 20, 1993
Location: Pensacola Civic Center, Pensacola, Florida
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

This is another of Dusty’s brilliant ideas that never really worked after the first time which was only because Sting was the star of the show. At least this year they didn’t have it at Starrcade. The idea is we take something like 32 names and draw them out for “random” tag matches. The 16 winners have a battle royal to win…..well to win the battle royal. There are no other matches on the card and since this is back in the days before Flair got the booking power, the matches all get at least 8 minutes and in some cases more. This is going to be painful. Let’s get to it.

Everyone gets in a quick line about what the show is about. Just like something for the Rumble would go, but for once this isn’t a ripoff.

Tony says there are 40 men in the back, meaning that 8 guys aren’t going to be out here. They’re going for a ring apparently. Don’t you feel the desire to win that??? We’re also told that Muta, the previous winner, isn’t here. Riveting.

Gene and a French maid named Fifi read the names. Barring a funny line or something I likely won’t mention that we go back to them to announce a match as they’re just drawing them out of a tumbler.

Vader/Cactus Jack vs. Charlie Norris/Kane

Vader is world champion here and he and Jack hate each other. Vader SHOVES this guy out of his chair to get here which is awesome. And no that’s not the more famous Kane. This was originally going to be his partner Kole, but Kane took his place. They would soon change their names to Booker T and Stevie Ray and would have some more success. Norris just flat out sucks and everyone knows he does.

Cactus and Vader brawl on the ramp to start us off. Yeah this is going to be one of those nights you can already tell. Norris runs down and Vader just ends him with a punch. Kane (Stevie Ray) and Jack start us off. Vader won’t get in the ring but Race yells at him to get him in. Cactus is a face here and getting very popular and far better for his insane style and improving match style. Of course he was released as soon as Hogan got there because we can’t have young talented and popular guys on our roster!

Norris is tall. That’s about all he’s got going for him and he would be out of the company more or less right after this. Vader Bomb gets a big pop as Norris gets flattened. Cactus hits him with a front flip as this is a squash so far. Jack hits a very weak belly to back suplex on Norris for two. Kane can’t even throw a proper clothesline. The referee calls a tag before the tag actually happens but whatever.

Tony wants every match to be hardcore. Is he Vince Russo all of a sudden? Norris is absolutely horrible. Cactus gets a double arm DDT from nowhere to bring us back to even. Norris hits a top rope chop to Vader who just shrugs it off. Vader gets some face pops here despite being the top heel in the company. That’s how hated Norris was. Vader falls down while powerbombing Norris’ fatness but gets the pin anyway.

Rating: D. Match was boring even with Cactus and Vader in there. Nothing at all happened as we were just standing around doing nothing for the most part. Norris was terrible and thankfull he was gone soon after this. There was zero drama here as we had two guys that mean nothing vs. the main event of Halloween Havoc. Who do you think is going to win here?

Brian Knobbs/Johnny B. Badd vs. Paul Roma/Erik Watts

Watts is the son of Bill Watts and is AWFUL. He’s here because of his daddy and absolutely nothing else. Something tells me this is going to be absolutely awful. Roma is a Horseman here for no apparent reason at all. No entrance music at all for any guy which is odd to see. The Nasty Boys are tag champions here so Knobbs isn’t happy here. The main attraction here is how bad can Watts be.

Badd and Roma, the more talented guys on their teams (keep in mind that Badd is rather young here and hasn’t hit his stride just yet) start us off. Roma is in long white tights here which just looks completely out of place for a heel. At least I think he’s a heel. Based on commentary he’s a face. It’s a bit confusing since almost everyone hated him. He can’t even do a backdrop. Decent dropkick though.

Comedy time as Watts is here. Watts hits a dropkick to the elbow to put Knobbs on the floor. Badd comes in to try to save this and they shake hands. We transition from that to hearing about Cactus Jack being a spiritual advisor, which translates into talking about manager of the year. LOTS of basic stuff from all four guys which is the problem. There’s no flow at all to the match. Badd will do ok and then Knobbs will come in and screw everything up.

None of the wrestling is any good but whatever. To say Watts is limited in the ring is the understatement of the year. Roma gets a powerslam for what would be two but Missy has the referee. She manages the Nasty Boys which I think I forgot to mention. This has been going almost ten minutes already, which is the problem with these shows. The matches go on forever because we have nothing else to air, but the matches completely suck more often than not.

We waste a bunch of time to do nothing at all on the floor. Tony talks a bit like a heel and Jesse says how proud he is of him. They speculate that the winner tonight will have a title shot more than likely, be it the TV Title, the US Title or the World Title. I’m not sure which to make fun of: the statement or the match. Watts gets the hot tag and he unleashes his clotheslines. The announcers argue about some quarterback whose name I missed as Knobbs rolls through a cross body and uses the tights for the pin.

Rating: D-. This got 13 minutes for no apparent reason other than WCW was mad at us or something I guess. Watts never was any good and you can’t blame him for being thrown out there when he flat out wasn’t ready. They never got out of doing basic stuff for nearly 13 minutes. If this was like 5 minutes long it’s bearable, but just way too long and not nearly enough talent to go around.

Shockmaster/Paul Orndorff vs. Ricky Steamboat/Steven Regal

Well the second team is stacked if nothing else. Orndorff is passable so maybe Shockmaster (Tugboat if you’re not familiar for some reason) can be outside most of the time. Steamboat gets by far the biggest reaction of the night so far, which to be fair isn’t saying much. Regal is I think TV Champion here. He held it enough times so we’ll go with that. The announcer saying he’s TV Champion helps a bit too.

LOUD Paula chant to start us off. Orndorff just looks old here. Regal looks downright British. The two more talented guys start us off, and by that I mean Steamboat for his team. This is before Regal got into drugs so heavily and was still very thin. Jesse starts his political jokes as you can tell he wanted to get into that more. We head to the floor and Steamboat is in trouble for all of 8 seconds.

Shocky looks almost clueless out there. He finally comes in and here’s Regal to meet him. In a great heel move he wipes his hands before he gets in. I still can’t get over that being Bill Dundee as his manager. Shocky lifts him up and sits him on the top, patting his head. That was amusing. This ends the entertaining part of his contribution to the match. After a slam he tags out to give us heel vs. heel.

They do very little beyond basics, but Sir William shouting up WELL DONE SIR is kind of amusing for some reason. Regal hooks a full nelson as Jesse thinks we have a tag team here. Regal does a cartwheel. Can you imagine him doing that today without ripping apart every muscle in his body? Steamboat finally comes in and gets caught in a hot shot. Crowd is DEAD by the way.

The problem of this whole show appears again as nothing of note is happening as they’re just killing time since they have 9 matches to fill three hours and there are more or less no segments to fill in time. Regal won’t tag so Shocky makes him in a decent bit. The partners start fighting and an umbrella shot and a splash end Regal, sending Orndorff and Shocky to the final. Clearly the more talented combo!

Rating: D+. By far the best match tonight and even then it’s bad. Regal vs. Orndorff was the highlight….somehow, but the problem again becomes that the only story is face/heel issues, which get boring very quickly as they did here. This wasn’t much at all and it never got out of first gear…much like the other matches. I hate this show already.

Gene has handcuffs for some reason.

King Kong/Dustin Rhodes vs. Equalizer/Awesome Kong

Equalizer is more commonly known as Dave Sullivan. The Kongs are very fat men that both sucked beyond any sense of the word suck. Rhodes gets a decent reaction and he should as he’s the only one with anything resembling talent. The fat guys both wear masks so I can’t tell them apart. Rhodes is US Champion here, which I think he would lose to Austin at Starrcade.

Everyone just kind of stops talking here as the non Kongs start us off. About thirty seconds in the commentary is back as Dustin realizes he’s in over his head here with such little anything to work with. Awesome comes in and is so big you actually can’t see the referee behind him. They make Vader look small so naturally they heavily suck. They’re too light skinned to be the Headhunters. King doesn’t want to fight his partner so more or less it’s 3 on 1.

King comes in finally and beats up Equalizer. The crowd is so silent you can hear individual fans. They slug it out and then go back to just clawing at each others’ faces. Big shoulder block to take down Kong and both tag. Sunset flip gets two for Dustin and it breaks down. The Kongs ram heads and Dustin gets a bulldog on his opponent Kong and wins it.

Rating: D. Again with a weak match as Dustin more or less was a one man team. That’s good as he was the only one of the four that’s watchable. For you young guys he’s more commonly known as Goldust. You had three big guys out there and Dustin, none of which could do anything other than big pounding shots. This went nowhere at all and was boring on top of that. Thankfully it was very short though, so at least there’s that.

Sting/Jerry Sags vs. Keith Cole/Ron Simmons

Cole is half of a team called the Cole Twins that never went anywhere. Sting won the first Battlebowl and is the most popular wrestler in the company by far here. Simmons is on the very brink of a heel turn here but not quite there yet. Jesse gets a good shot in at Missy saying it’s hard to say which of them is Sags. Cole has a long blonde mullet-esque thing to the back of his head. It’s idiotic looking but whatever.

Cole and Sags start us off here. And we stall. That’s the sign of a bad match right off the bat. Ok make that Simmons is going to start. Cole did but he was only in the ring for like 4 seconds and never made contact. Nice dropkick by Simmons who used to be World Champion if you can believe that. We go to a completely random crowd shot during an armbar. Did the camera guy get bored or something?

The fans want Sting and I can’t say I blame them. Sags won’t tag him in of course, just because he’s an annoying pest. Simmons comes in to breathe a bit of life into the match but not much. And now we get Sting vs. Simmons, which is kind of awesome sounding. We get a clean break as Simmons really isn’t a heel yet so it’s ok. O’Connor Roll is totally messed up as this is more or less a standoff.

And now back to Keith Cole to end the interesting part of this match. Cole and Sags do absolutely nothing of note as we just kill time here. Sting comes in to wake up the crowd a bit and we go back to the interesting matchup of the whole match. Ron acts all heelish and the fans are far from thrilled to put it mildly. Hey look! More armbars! Cole is just bringing this match down so far it’s not even funny.

Sting beats up Cole with ease and hits the splash in the corner. Sags comes in because he can and hits a top rope elbow for the easy pin. Simmons beats the heck out of Cole after the match.

Rating: C-. On any other show this is probably lower but this show has been so bad that I’ll take what I can get here. Just more or less a nothing match though as the rest of them have been but this at least had something close to a story to it. The whole tag match deal is just REALLY annoying though and I’m bored with it. Naturally there’s nearly an hour of it to go because WCW hates me.

Ric Flair/Steve Austin vs. 2 Cold Scorpio/Maxx Payne

Ok this HAS to be good right? Austin is about the level of Dolph Ziggler at this point and I’m pretty sure Flair is a face at this point, so expect more tension. BIG reaction for Flair. Austin cost Flair the world title about ten days ago. Well of course he did. Payne’s head looks a bit like Undertaker which is kind of weird to say.

Austin and Payne start us off here. Payne is a grunge rocker more or less with long black hair and metal band t-shirts. He can wrestle though, and we hear about Flair vs. Vader at Starrcade. The fans want Flair here, which is odd as less than 5 years later Austin would be the biggest star in the world. Scorpio comes in while Flair yells at Austin. For those of you that have never seen him, go find some of Scorpio’s early to mid 90s stuff as he’s incredibly fun to watch. Basically imagine Morrison with some meat on his bones and a lack of botches with the gimmick of just being awesome.

The future Stone Cold hits the floor and he still looks weird with a star on his tights. Flair comes in again and just owns all. We shift into a far more traditional and old school style of tagging with Flair and Austin making Scorpio the face in peril. Flair with old school heel tactics never gets old, but since he’s more or less a natural heel it doesn’t make him look evil. That makes no sense to me either so don’t try to make sense out of it.

Flair and Austin of course go at it which doesn’t last long. TEXTBOOK suplex by Flair. Just absolute perfection there. Austin with a top rope elbow of all things for two. He was a totally different wrestler once Hart broke his neck. In a stupid looking move, Scorpio just kind of falls down, sending Austin stumbling into the corner. Flair and Payne come in and Flair can’t do anything. A running knee in the corner misses and the Figure Four ends it to a big pop. That’s basic psychology and again it works.

Rating: B-. See, THIS is how you do one of these things. There was a simple story here of two guys making something work and just doing their thing on Scorpio while keeping the bigger and stronger guy out. This was a very simple style, but there is one important thing it had going for it: it worked. Best match BY FAR up to this point and likely of the whole show.

Rick Rude/Shanghai Pierce vs. Marcus Bagwell/Tex Slazenger

Tex is Mideon and Shanghai is Henry Godwin under a mask. Rude is the International World Champion here which in essence is the NWA Title without the NWA. Why do announcers welcome us to a show an hour and a half into it? Are they thinking we got here late or something? Tony points out that we have more wrestlers than spots left in matches, meaning we won’t have everyone called.

Rude is a rather interesting case as he was rarely more than a comedy upper midcard guy but in WCW he was sent to the moon and would have been the regular world champion had it not been for his career ending back injury. The future WWF Tag Champions come in but no one actually does anything as Rude is brought back in.

Rather boring match so far with little happening, but Bagwell plays a decent enough face in peril. He makes a comeback and this isn’t too bad. I can’t remember a quieter crowd in forever though, which is a really bad sign methinks. The commentary stops again which I never got the first time. It’s WCW though so basic errors like these are expected.

This crowd is absolutely silent. It’s almost creepy in a way. Rude and Bagwell go at it and we hit the chinlock because this match hasn’t died enough already. Tony tries to tell us how the crowd is awesome but you can hear the wrestlers calling spots because the people are so quiet. Rude sends Bagwell to the floor while he’s not legal as the crowd FINALLY moves a bit.

Pierce wants a boot from Rude as this is turning into something close to a tag match. It’s still boring but at least we’ve got something going here. The team of heels beat on Bagwell and this is just boring. They switch without a tag and hit a chinlock. This goes on for the better part of eternity until Bagwell makes his comeback. Pierce with a SWEET gutwrench sitout powerbomb. That makes this match not a failure on its own.

Tex makes the save and the crowd wakes up a bit for the showdown between these two. They actually fight and kind of go insane with it. And then Rude makes a blind tag and hits the Rude Awakening to end it. He’s the only guy that has ever made that move look awesome.

Rating: D-. Literally that powerbomb was the only thing that keeps this from being a failure. This match just was boring and nothing of note ever happened. There were about 10 minutes of chinlocks here as of course they decided to give this 15 minutes. Who thought that was a good idea? I mean really, The Godwins and Bagwell and Rude in a 15 minute match. Horrible match but dang that was a cool looking move. Naturally it didn’t get a pin but whatever.

Jesse says it’s too early to pick a winner as we go to our last pairings.

Hawk/Rip Rogers vs. Davey Boy Smith/Kole

Kole is Booker T and Rogers is basically the guy that made OVW mean something. He gets beaten up on the ramp by all three guys as no one liked him and he was a jobber. This basically starts off as Hawk vs. both guys as Davey starts for his team. They make sure we know they’re friends and here we go. They do a bunch of clean breaks and really don’t do much at all.

Test of strength is a standoff and Booker more or less demands a tag. Rogers has a fight with his jacket on the ramp as Booker comes in. I love the face Bulldog saying hey Hawk, I know you’re my friend but I’m going to let this other guy come in and beat on you for no apparent reason. Smith cheers for Hawk as he fights back. Booker with the Spinarooni about 5 years before that had a name.

Rogers finally gets up and Booker smacks him down. Yet again there’s a mini story here but the match isn’t much. You know Rogers’ team is going to win here so why even bother with the false pretense? We hit the chinlock as Smith cheers on Hawk again. And just as I expected, Hawk picks up Rogers and throws him at Booker who can’t kick out for the pin. This would be like Santino getting there.

Rating: D. It’s another comedy match with nothing at all happening as Hawk and Smith wouldn’t fight each other and Rogers was in the match all of 9 seconds. This show just needs to end now as this was just another 8 minute match with a stupid ending. At least it was just 8 minutes I guess.

Battlebowl

Cactus Jack, Vader, Johnny B. Badd, Brian Knobbs, Shockmaster, Paul Orndorff, King Kong, Dustin Rhodes, Sting, Jerry Sags, Steve Austin, Ric Flair, Ric Rude, Shanghai Pierce, Hawk, Rip Rogers

This is just a battle royal with 16 men in int. Yeah that’s all there is going on here. Just to waste time the guys don’t start coming out until after the announcements are done. Rogers can barely move after earlier. Hawk vs. Vader isn’t as much of a train wreck as you’d expect. I really don’t like watching these matches for reviews as there’s nothing to call. Rogers is out first.

We do the split screen for no apparent reason. Oh it’s to show Rogers going out. Pierce is out second. It’s a lot of filling time as we’re about two hours into the show at this point. Badd is out and Penzer kind of messes up the elimination. It comes out as “Johnny B Badd……eliminated…….from Battlebowl.” Just sounded weird but it’s BY FAR the most interesting thing at the moment.

People are literally just standing there waiting on anything to happen. Someone goes out but something tells me it doesn’t matter. Kong is out. Shockmaster is out. Oh apparently the other guy was Cactus. Orndorff is out. That was very rapid fire and we have like 9 left or so. Sting goes to the ramp but that’s not an elimination because I guess that’s not the planned elimination for Sting.

Yeah 9 left and I don’t really care enough to count them all. The worst part is that there is some awesome talent in there (Sting, Flair, Vader, Rude, Rhodes, Austin, Nasty Boys and Hawk, so 6/9 are at least good) and this is still horrible. Actually the Nasties and Hawk are at their best in brawls so they’re all good in this kind of match. And yet it’s still boring somehow.

Everyone just kind of brawls around and nothing is happening at all. Dustin and Austin head to the floor to fight it out a bit. Flair and Vader fight it out which gets NO reaction at all. Rhodes is busted as Austin is back in now. Austin beats on Rhodes as we kind of pair off. For no reason at all Sting/Hawk would get a tag title shot at Starrcade (in a match that went THIRTY MINUTES and ended in a DQ) so they fight for awhile.

The fans are dying more every second. Rhodes puts out the Nasties and Austin puts him out in like 4 seconds to get us down to six. Rude and Hawk are out too so it’s Austin, Sting, Flair and Vader. There’s a great tag match in there somewhere. Race pulls Flair to the ramp and they slug it out a bit which brings a small smile to my face. Naturally no one says anything about their epic rivalry but that might be interesting so we’ll steer clear of it.

Everyone leaves the ring to fight on the ramp for awhile. No one went over the top so they’re all still in. Stuff like this makes my head hurt as it makes the whole match just seem completely pointless. Vader hits Flair with a splash on the ramp and gets stretchered out to take him out of the match. Now logical booking would have him come back and make a big heroic win by throwing Vader out to build drama to Starrcade. How much do you want to bet that doesn’t happen and Vader wins clean?

Back in the ring Vader and Austin both go for top rope splashes on Sting but the only face left fights them both off. He does what would become known as a spear to Vader as the fans chant Whomp There it is for no apparent reason. Vader splashes the heck out of Sting to take him down. Lots of splashes follow but Sting finally gets away and slugs it out with Austin.

He makes the Superman comeback and the chant starts up again for no apparent reason. That lasts about 30 seconds as they beat on him some more. Vader hurts his back on a Vader Bomb. A corner splash misses and Sting throws Austin to the ramp. Vader knocks him over and Austin falls off the ramp to eliminate him. That’s something I’d book in OCW.

This leaves us with Vader vs. Sting, with the logical booking being give it to Sting I guess so my money is on Vader. Sting does the falling headbutt into the groin spot which is one of my favorites. He gets the always awesome fireman’s carry of Vader. Sting’s strength is always underrated. Sting misses the Splash though and falls out so Vader wins to end the show.

Rating: D. A boring battle royal to end a boring show. Isn’t that appropriate? This was just a weak match that went on FAR too long. A 16 man battle royal got nearly half an hour. At least with 91 they had two rings so the double elimination thing ate up some time. This was just boring on so many levels.

Overall Rating: F+. This show isn’t so much bad as much as it’s painfully boring. The idea is fine but the problem with it is that you need more than one decent tag match to end the show. For one thing the whole idea was partner vs. partner at times and other than that it was just awkward pairings that never got anything going whatsoever.

Also having Vader win is freaking stupid. The champion wins a big match like this? It was dumb when Hogan did it in the Rumble and it’s dumb here. Just a completely boring show that never went anywhere at all. This show was DYING for another match or two to flesh out the card so we didn’t have all these matches get 12+ minutes. Note to promoters: long does not necessarily mean good. Definitely not worth seeing.

Clash of the Champions 9: New York Knockout
Date: November 15, 1989
Location: RPI Field House, Troy, New York
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Gordon Solie

Here we have a two match show: Flair vs. Funk II in an I Quit match and Pillman vs. Luger for the US Title. Luger was awesome in 89 and Funk was his crazy old self (yes he was old back then too). That being said, for a free TV show is there anything else you really need? In short, no. These old Clashes are usually very hit or miss but as almost always it was based on the card. This looks good so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Flair vs. Funk which is about pride and not the title.

Freebirds vs. Road Warriors

The Birds were world tag team champions here but had already lost the titles at a TV taping before this aired. This is non-title anyway so it doesn’t matter. Hayes vs. Hawk gets us going and Hayes gets too cocky which catches up with him. Yeah I’m stunned too. Off to Garvin and he gets his head taken off by a dropkick. Off to Animal and similar things happen. We’re more or less in a squash so far. Animal misses a charge and the champs double team him a bit. After about 90 seconds of that, Hawk comes in and tosses the referee and it’s a DQ. The fans boo that out of the building.

Rating: D. Wow this was pointless. Somehow everything I said in there too over five minutes. I have no idea what they were going for here, especially with the title change airing later in the week. Doesn’t this make the champs look weak going into their title defense? Either way, the Steiners would get the belts and hold them for a very long time so no one remembers this anyway.

Funk lists off various things that he and Flair disagree on. Gary Hart, Funk’s manager, says do it for Texas.

Time for a vote of who the most popular wrestler in the NWA is. Gee I wonder who it’s going to be. To the shock of no one with anything resembling knowledge about this era, it’s Sting. There’s another award for Wrestler of the Decade. This is actually voted on by the PWI Editors and all that jazz and allegedly Hogan lost a fair vote to Flair. I’ve heard multiple rumors that this was rigged and I wouldn’t be surprised if that was true.

Woman, the manager of Doom, shows off her cleavage and says Doom is awesome. She promises a surprise for Rick Steiner later tonight.

Doom vs. Eddie Gilbert/Tommy Rich

Doom is Ron Simmons/Butch Reed in masks. They would take the titles from the Steiners in the summer of 1990. Gilbert tries an O’Connor Roll and can’t even get one. The Tennessee guys work on Ron’s arm and it’s off to Reed now. I think Rich/Gilbert are faces here. After a brief control segment by them, Doom realizes they’re a real team and not a pair of thrown together guys and starts taking over. This is one of those matches that needs to be a lot shorter. What is supposed to be a hot tag to Rich and everything breaks down, allowing a middle rope modified Hart Attack to pin Rich.

Rating: D. This was another bad match. Doom would get a lot better but they needed better opponents at this point. Rich would join the York Foundation in like a year which would be his last grasp at anything of note. This was nothing though and Doom would get a lot better rather soon.

Time for Jim Cornette’s talk show segment with his guests the Steiners. This is important for one thing: Scotty has been using a move and Cornette wants a name for it. Rick talks about watching a movie the other day and he came up with a name for it, and for the first time ever we hear the name Frankensteiner. They talk about their match later and Doom for a bit but this was all about naming the move. They make fun of Woman a bit also.

Midnight Express vs. Dynamic Dudes

The Dudes are Shane Douglas and Johnny Ace Laurinits (Yes the one from Raw) as skateborders that are straight out of the 80s. Both teams have Cornette as their manager so he’s in a neutral corner. Basically he was starting to manage the Dudes but was still under contract with the Express and they signed the match without him, putting Cornette right in the middle.

It’s the Lane/Eaton version and they try to convince Corny to come to their corner but he turns them down again. Douglas vs. Eaton to get us going. Is there a tag team fetish tonight? They fight over the arm to start and it’s off to Lane quickly. Shane works on his arm as well and we’re in a technical match to start us off. In something you’ll almost never see, Cornette calls out Stan Lane on his hair pulling. This is surreal to watch.

Ace comes in and the idea of seeing the current version of him in trunks is very wrong. In a NICE touch and a fine example of the difference between today’s announcing and the old version of it, Solie is going over the upcoming house show schedule but says they’ll get to that in a minute because he doesn’t want to miss this action. We go to a headlock and they go over the rest of the schedule. See now, WAS THAT SO HARD??? It took about 30 more seconds and the wrestling gets played up stronger as well as the announcements getting more focus. Everything wins.

Shane avoids a superplex from Bobby and gets a rollup for two. Off to Ace and he’s just not that good. Lane takes him down and the Express takes over to a big pop. The Rocket Launcher gets knees and everything breaks down. With Shane getting a chain from somewhere, Jim comes in to grab it after it fell on the floor. He turns on the Dudes though, getting the crowd way into it and Eaton steals the pin as the Express is back together.

Rating: C. Not a bad little tag match here and the idea is that it burned off two angles: the Dudes being the new team of Cornette and the Express getting back together for their one final run. Nothing great here and the dudes weren’t all that good but this was ok and the fans were way into it so that’s all that matters.

Super Destroyer vs. Steve Williams

Destroyer is Jack Victory in a mask. Destroyer jumps Williams early and here’s Norman the Lunatic (Bastian Booger) as Santa Claus. Williams takes over quickly and gorilla presses him with multiple reps and then a clothesline to the floor. Back in the Oklahoma Stampede (powerslam) ends this. Total squash.

Norman gives Doc (Williams) a teddy bear afterwards and Norman gets a hug. Cute.

Steiner Brothers vs. Skyscrapers

It’s Sid and Dan Spivey. Rick vs. Spivey to get us going and Rick is like HAVE A GERMAN BOY. Back in Spivey hits a tombstone (keep that in mind) for two as Scott saves. Everything breaks down and Scott comes in with a Frankensteiner to Spivey and a fallaway slam to Sid. The fallaway slam was botched and Sid would be out for months with an injured lung. His replacement on the team was a guy from Memphis. He hung around for a year and then would leave for the WWF where he would wear a trenchcoat and come out to funeral music.

The tall dudes aren’t sure who is legal at the moment so it’s Sid vs. Scott now. Off to Spivey who beats Scott down for a bit until the Steiner Brothers remember that they’re the Steiner Brothers and beat down the tall dudes like they’re nothing. Hot tag brings in Rick, although I’d question how hot a tag can be in a five minute match. Doom runs in and it’s a DQ. During this, two things happen. First of all, Simmons runs in and immediately Scott snaps off a picture perfect Frankensteiner to send him outside. I’ll get to the second thing in a minute.

Rating: C-. This could only be so good as the Steiners were untouchable around this time and would take the tag titles that rightfully belonged to them in about three days. The tag division was awesome at this point and would keep getting better, namely because the Steiners were totally awesome.

The Road Warriors run out to even the odds and the fans ERUPT. A big brawl takes us to a commercial.

Post break the two good teams talk about the Iron Man Tournament, which was a round robin tournament held at Starrcade between three of these four teams. The Skyscrapers were out so the Samoan Swat Team took their place. The tournament wound up sucking and the Road Warriors won. It did however contain one of the two (the other being in 96 on Nitro) meetings between the Road Warriors and the Steiners which could have main evented a PPV. They all cut promos but for some reason the New York Knockout logo is on the screen instead of them.

Oh yeah the other thing that happened: Woman’s bodyguard Nitron debuted and did very little. He later played Sabretooth in the X-Men trilogy.

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Brian Pillman

Lex is a heel here but he’s having such awesome matches and is so scary as an athlete that he’s getting over as a face despite being heel recently. We talk about the singles Iron Man tournament which has Sting, Luger, Flair and Muta. Things start off very fast and Pillman fires off some dropkicks and Lex heads out to cool his head. This is a rematch from Halloween Havoc where Luger had to cheat to keep the belt. Back in and Luger can’t get anything going as Pillman has everything planned out.

A missile dropkick gets two for Brian. Out to the floor and Lex goes into the post as this has been all Pillman. More chops put Luger down and back inside we go. The champ FINALLY gets something going with a belly to back and momentum shifts. Lex is in his zone now and he sends Pillman out to the floor. He starts working on the back with a slam on the floor and a suplex back in for two. See how easy psychology can be?

Powerslam puts Pillman down but after Lex poses too much Pillman grabs a rollup for two. Things speed up a bit and Brian hits a clothesline to put Lex down. Top rope cross body, Pillman’s finisher, takes Lex down but the referee went down as well. Pillman hammers away even more but Lex cracks him in the head with a chair and since all referees are deaf and blind, it’s enough for the pin for Lex to retain and draw a bunch of booing.

Rating: B. Good match here as both guys worked hard out there. Pillman looked great at first and it’s a nice ending as Lex has to cheat to win. That’s the right idea at times and I think it works pretty well here. Lex would lose the tournament in the last match to Sting but would keep the US Title for about 11 more months.

Luger beats him down post match until Sting comes out for the save. Luger wants a showdown and Sting is all like BRING IT ON but Lex is scared of Sting in dress pants (and to be fair it’s a weird look on him) so he bails. Sting chases after him and gets in a single punch but Lex runs more. They wouldn’t have their big showdown for about 15 months with Sting winning the title at SuperBrawl II.

Flair talks about how he’s going to still be champion after tonight and this company is great. Tonight it’s an I Quit match and for two legends like them, that’s humiliating and the end. The loser has to retire and to Funk’s credit, when he loses here he did in fact retire for the rest of the year and didn’t wrestle in WCW until 1994. He wrestled in ECW a lot and in Japan some, but I guess that’s a good result for a Funk retirement.

Terry Funk vs. Ric Flair

I Quit match remember. This is non-title but Flair has said he’ll forfeit the title if he loses. Funk has Gary Hart with him and offers him a chance to walk out before the bell. Funk is sent to the floor and is all mad. I mean more than usual that is. Flair whips him around a bit and we head out to the floor with Ric hammering away. Into the ring again and they hit the mat for a bit.

They almost go onto the announce table and are fighting on the apron now. Flair chops him but falls down as Funk is still standing. We head back to the floor and it’s all Funk. He pounds away back in the ring in the corner and says to Flair to say it but Flair grabs an atomic drop to take over again. Funk slaps Flair so Flair chokes him. They’re back on the floor again and Flair pounds him into the crowd.

Back inside now and Flair demands that Funk say I Quit. Funk gets in a shot and a swinging neckbreaker as he yells about the attack (Funk piledrove him onto a table to start the feud) and his bad neck. Piledriver still doesn’t get a yes. Another one on the floor hits and Flair is practically dead. This is a nice touch as Funk is the crazy brawler and Flair is in WAY over his head. Funk sets up a table (back when that’s a HUGE deal) but Flair fights back with hard chops.

Ric is all fired up and Funk staggers around like there’s something wrong with his inner mind. He gets crotched on the railing and the little Funkers aren’t happy. Funk’s selling is really quite good. Now it’s time for the knee and the fans cheer. Flair was indeed popular back in the day. This is fired up Flair, almost like you would see in the Vader match about four years later.

Funk tries to leave up the aisle and Flair tackles him from behind and is all like “you wanted this and now you’re getting it.” In something you won’t see that often, Flair suplexes Funk over the top and onto the apron. There’s the Figure Four and after fighting as long as he can, Funk actually says he quits and it’s over.

Rating: A-. Not much to complain about here as the transformation from wrestler to fighter/crazy man by Flair was a great sight to see. Once he got going, Funk was trying to survive instead of win which was a very cool thing to see. This match worked and is well worth seeing, if nothing else for the storytelling in it. And to see Funk quit, which you’ll likely never see again.

Flair demands a handshake and gets one but Gary Hart, Funk’s manager, jumps him and Muta/Dragonmaster run in for a double beatdown. Here’s Sting (who never put his shirt back on I guess) for the save. Sting puts Hart in the Scorpion and Flair puts Muta in the Figure Four. Luger comes out and hits everyone with a chair to set up the big beatdown. Well every face that is. Luger breaks the trophies (which were in the middle of nowhere next to each other) to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. Keep in mind that this was a free TV show. You had to very good matches and the rest of the show certainly isn’t bad. It’s just kind of there. For a free show though and a TV special, this is something that I’m totally fine with. It set up Starrcade (where there were literally no non-tournament matches) well even though the show sucked and it blew of Funk vs. Flair and turned Funk face. Good stuff and one of the best Clashes.

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 6, 2011
Location: Knoxville Civic Auditorium, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re in Knoxville now (if that wasn’t clear before) and it’s Hulk Hogan’s retirement announcement. Why do I have a feeling that may not be legit after last year’s hospital ordeal. Anyway, we have two more shows before BFG so I’m sure Bobby Roode still respects Kurt a lot and that he’s the next world champ. If you’re not sure, just listen and I’m sure you’ll hear it a few dozen times tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Beer Money to open the show. Roode finishes the Fourtune gauntlet tonight and they’re in the semi main event. Storm isn’t happy with this because Hogan is taking the spot from them. It’s time for Hogan to retire. Roode talks about facing the other members of Fourtune and needing to beat them to get here. He needs Storm at his best for the sake of getting him ready for Angle. Storm will do that later and tonight he might be a little better than Roode.

Sting is here in a red jacket and a Hogan t-shirt.

Since it’s Hogan’s big nights, we look back at Hogan moments in Impact Wrestling. First up: Hogan arrives on January 4, 2010.

Kazarian vs. Gunner

This is fallout from last week with Traci’s pull apart brawl and Gunner laying out Kaz. They fight over the arm and Kaz’s goes into the post. Back in Gunner works on the arm for a bit but Kaz takes the leg out to take over for all of a second. Kaz’s arm goes into the post again, setting up an armbar for the tap at 4:12. That came out of nowhere but I kind of like it….I think. And never mind as Gunner hits him just a tiny bit more and it’s reversed to a DQ.

Rating: C-. No idea what the point of this was although it was cool to see a feud/story go from one week to another. The ending was kind of strange though because it came out of nowhere. It made sense from an injury standpoint as Kaz had his arm worked on for a bit before the tap, but it looked like a regular armbar/wristlock. I don’t get it, nor do I get the point of the post match DQ.

Here’s Anderson to apologize to the people who mean the most to him: his anal openings known as fans. He’s worked for his whole life to get here and isn’t sure what he was thinking when he joined Immortal. He mentions Ray and here he is. They talk about how Ray keeps using weapons to beat him down (“Overcompensating with the chain?) and Ray says Anderson doesn’t get another match. Anderson challenges him to a Philadelphia Falls Count Anywhere match. Wasn’t that already set up?

Roode and Storm are getting ready.

Eric gets here and isn’t happy about the Hogan announcement. They’ve worked together for years and it ends tonight.

Kendrick talks about how Aries has weaknesses and he can exploit them. It’s your usual insane stuff. He insults Kid Kash and here’s Kash to retort with his fists.

Mickie James/Velvet Sky vs. Winter/Madison Rayne

Mickie vs. Winter to start and it’s off to Madison quickly. Kaz is going to the hospital. Velvet comes in and doesn’t so much so it’s off to Mickie again to beat up Winter. A Thesz Press sets up a neckbreaker which sets up a rana which sets up a two. Angelina’s cheating gets two for Winter. After some uninspired stuff, Velvet comes in and cleans house with a modified X Factor which doesn’t look that good. Angelina grabs the wrong chick’s leg and Winter gets in trouble. Not that it matters anyway as Madison rolls up Velvet with the tights at 4:41 for the pin.

Rating: D+. So what was the point of the leg trip exactly? If you’re going to have Angelina screw up, shouldn’t it lead to it ending badly? The Knockouts are better than the Divas but that’s still not saying much. I do kind of like the sexiness of the Knockouts more but it’s not exactly the best it’s ever been. Nothing to see here but it had all four chicks for BFG in the same match so points for that.

Jeff Hardy is here. AND HE HAS SLEEVES!!!

Remember the one time Hogan wrestled on Impact?

Angle is worried about Jeff and Eric says chill. Angle says cool.

Here’s Eric and he calls out Jeff Hardy. He talks about how he’s been in the business for 25 years and he’s never dropped the ball. I guess we’re overlooking WCW and their huge lead. Anyway Jeff has turned dropping the ball into an art form. Jeff has been looking for another chance but Eric says Jeff is out of chances with him. Eric says Jeff is done so here’s a Twist of Fate for Uncle Eric. He shouts Screw You and Immortal chases him off.

Jeff is still here.

Hogan throwing Dixie out is another moment.

Samoa Joe vs. Crimson

They fight to the corner quickly with Joe taking an early advantage. Off to a cravate which doesn’t get Crimson much of anywhere. They go to the floor and Joe gets in a shot to the leg/ankle that he injured on Crimson a few weeks ago. Joe works over the leg for awhile and then it’s back inside. A leg sweep takes Crimson down and here’s a leg lock that isn’t quite a heel hook according to Taz. Crimson grabs a small package out of nowhere for the pin at 5:13.

Rating: C-. This was more of a brawl than a match but I’m not sure what it solves if anything. Joe still can’t win anything and Crimson continues to win without looking dominant. Not much here but I’ve seen worse. It’ll likely be a three way at BFG with Morgan being thrown in.

Ray tries to talk down Philly to make sure he’s a heel in Philly.

Long video on Roode getting ready for BFG.

James Storm vs. Robert Roode

Face vs. face here and partner vs. partner so you know the respect is way turned up. They feel each other out a lot and Roode controls with a headlock. Storm grabs the arm but gets caught in another headlock. Very technical stuff so far. They hit the ropes and Roode avoids a super kick and takes Storm down with an arm drag. The Fujiwara is avoided and we take a break.

Back with more back and forth stuff. Daniels vs. AJ will be I Quit for no apparent reason. They start slugging it out and Storm is fighting more like a heel than he usually does. Blockbuster gets two. Roode gets sent to the apron so Storm challens his inner Orton with an elevated DDT for two. Back in the spinebuster gets two for Roode. The idea is Storm is getting frustrated while Roode is staying calm.

After Roode gets crotched Storm hooks a superplex for a very long two. Superkick is countered into the Crossface but Storm rolls into the ropes. So I guess Storm > HHH? Codebreaker sets up the Backstabber but it only gets two. The fans say this is awesome and while it’s good I don’t know if it’s awesome. There goes the referee (naturally) and Angle comes out to send Storm into the steps. Nice planting of seeds there but it only gets two. Storm tries another superkick but falls into a fisherman’s suplex for the pin at 13:14.

Rating: B-. Solid stuff here but the ref bump made me roll my eyes. I did like what Kurt is doing though as he’s trying to make Storm turn on Roode and since no one is ever capable of watching tape in wrestling it might cause some of it for the PPV. Good main event and I’d expect to see this headlining a PPV someday soon.

Here’s Hogan for the retirement speech. He talks about how he’s been in Knoxville and how much he loves the fans. He isn’t sure what he’s going to do now with all the free time he has now. Some fans had asked if it was worth a ten hour drive to be here for it and he says yes it’s real. Hogan thanks the fans and they cheer for him again. He holds up the weight belt and lays it down in the ring, saying that Hulkamania is over and let the celebration begin.

Here’s Sting with a rebuttal I guess. He looks like a Hogan/Beetlejuice hybrid here. Sting says he doesn’t buy it but Hogan is like dude it’s real. Sting talks about how amazing it is today that you can have a camera anywhere today. Nothing is sacred today and Sting has some compelling footage about Hogan. Here’s Hogan and Bischoff with Hogan talking about how the fans are going to fall for this retirement hook line and sinker. Hogan makes fun of hillbillies in Knoxville and Hulk in the ring freaks. He says he’ll fight Sting at BFG and if Sting wins he’ll give the company back to Sting and Carter. WOW that was forced.

Overall Rating: C. Not a terrible show here but me being half asleep for a lot of it didn’t help. The wrestling was short but at this point I can live with that because it’s about building up to BFG now and with the card being set, you don’t really need many more new matches or stories going on. Decent show overall but it’s really just holding down the fort until BFG and that’s fine.

Results
Gunner b. Kazarian – Armbar
Madison Rayne/Winter b. Mickie James/Velvet Sky – Rollup
Crimson b. Samoa Joe – Small Package
Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Fisherman’s Suplex

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 29, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

After this week we move off to Nashville for two weeks and then it’s Philadelphia for Bound For Glory. Tonight we’re going to hear that it’s Hogan’s retirement which is a big announcement and a spoiler but by the time this is posted it’ll be fair game. Anyway other than that there’s a five way ladder match which will be lucky to go six minutes. Let’s get to it.

Sting is here to open the show and he calls out Roode. It’s the same stuff you would expect: Sting says he’s awesome and can beat Angle, Roode says he’ll do his best and that it means a lot and says that Sting needs to beat Hogan. Here’s AJ to say take care of things and go become world champion because you might never get another shot. Here’s Angle who says if AJ wins tonight he’ll get a shot at the title. This felt really rushed for some reason.

Hogan is here and is looking nervous.

Alex Shelley vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Zima Ion vs. Kid Kash vs. Jesse Sorensen

This is a ladder match and the winner gets the shot at Aries at BFG. Aries is on commentary and says he wants to face Kash. It’s your usual insane match with all the people doing everything they can. There’s a chair brought in and Sorensen is dropped onto the ladder by Kash and looks like he was shot. Kash goes up but Kendrick makes the save. Tazz: “Austin what would you do in this match?” Aries: “Climb the ladder as fast as I could.”

Ion takes Kendrick out with a moonsault to the floor and no one is really trying to go up. Shelley kicks Kash down and makes a run up but takes forever because it’s a wrestling match involving a ladder and Ion makes the save. BIG chop by Kash to Ion and Aries says maybe he doesn’t want to face him. Ion gets countered and Sorensen puts him into the ladder. Kash goes up but is taken down by Kendrick. Kendrick and Shelley go up at the same time but Kendrick knocks him down and wins at 5:45. Nice to see them expanding the title feuds.

Rating: C+. The match was exciting but I’m tired of these matches that are supposed to be special and draws etc being given five and a half minutes so that we can have everyone on the roster post on their video blogs about how they feel about everything that is happening tonight with nothing interesting to say at all. Not a bad match or anything, but these matches need more time to build up some kind of drama.

Kaz is talking about the Roode/Styles match when the Jarretts come in and say get to the ring now.

Flair is on the phone and is upset about something. He wants to be part of a decision that is being made and is coming to someone’s office.

Here are the Jarretts and they call out Kaz and tell him to bring Traci with him. Jeff gets in his face, talking about how he gave Kaz a job and how Kaz went to the WWE and then Jeff let him come back and then left again and Jeff let him back in again. He insults Traci a bit and they almost get into it but referees and agents come out. Jeff threatens to fire them because he can I guess and another brawl starts up. Gunner comes in and leaves Kaz laying with an F5.

We recap last week’s thing with Ink Inc and Mexican america with the tattoo raping.

Hernandez vs. Jesse Neal

Mexican America jumps Ink Inc and we’re told that Hernandez hurt Neal which is why we haven’t seen them lately. Well that’s better than nothing. The beatdown goes on for awhile and the bell hasn’t rang yet. Anarquia and Moore are in the ring and Moore gets crushed by a splash. Here’s one for Neal also and the Mexicans stand tall. They spray pain MA on both of their backs and it’s 1996 all over again. No match. Hernandez’s splashes looked great.

Ray says he knows what Hogan is going to say and says he was the first one that Hogan told about it.

Storm says if Roode wins, Storm will be winning with them because they’re a team.

Flair rants to Hogan about what Hogan is going to do and says it’ll change the business. Whatever it is, it’s not a good decision.

We recap Tara vs. Madison Rayne which started back at Sacrifice 2010 where Tara put her career up for a title shot. Then Tara came back with Madison because I guess Madison had the authority to break the contract. Tara rebelled against Madison and won her freedom. Do we really need a year plus recap for a TV match where you get a spot in a title match?

Crimson is here just as he promised he would be.

Madison Rayne vs. Tara

This is a qualifying match to be in the Knockouts Title match with Mickie and Winter and whoever else is the final person. By the way, total time from the end of the ladder match to the bell for this: 33:54. Madison hits on Earl and screams a lot. Tara grabs her hand and bends the finger back, making Madison tap but it doesn’t count I guess. I have a feeling we’re in a comedy match.

Tara takes it to the mat with a headlock takeover and Madison keeps carressing Earl. Madison uses the distraction to take over with a right hand and beats on her in the corner. She does the hump the mat spot and hits on Earl AGAIN. That’s about 8 times now. Madison cheats to escape a chokebomb by hitting Earl so Earl says kill her. Release chokebomb hits Madison but Rayne escapes the Widow’s Peak and rolls her up with the feet on the ropes at 4:43.

Rating: D. I have no idea what the point of the video was as this really wasn’t a match that required a lot of explanation or backstory to it. Also I don’t get the point of the hitting on Earl as it didn’t play into the ending at all. Pretty much a nothing match that didn’t need a backstory or the cross generational flirting.

Daniels says he wouldn’t want to face AJ again at BFG because there’s no point. The match is happening it seems and Daniels says if he beats AJ again it would be a kick in the nuts, which makes him chuckle.

Here’s Crimson after having his leg broken or something similar to that by Joe. He wants Joe out here right now to settle this. Joe appears and says he’s allowed Crimson to be here and to continue his farce of an undefeated streak. Without Crimson, who else is going to be Joe’s female dog? Crimson charges and the brawl is on. Joe goes to the ankle and kicks Crimson low and into the ring we go. He puts on the leg bar until Matt Morgan comes out to make a save. Morgan helps Crimson up.

AJ is ready for Roode but they’re cool.

D’Angelo Dinero vs. Mr. Anderson

Just 19:37 between bells this time so they’re improving. Feeling out process to start as this is the always rare face vs. face match. They do nothing of note for awhile until they head to the floor and Anderson pulls back to punch Pope. D-Von’s kids grab his arm and Pope misses a charge into the railing. Anderson goes into the ring and Ray pops up with a kendo stick. Pope comes in and gets the pin at 4:12. D-Von came down to yell at his kids.

Rating: D. I can’t call it a failure because it plays into both stories. Anderson and Ray are fine, but is this Pope/D-Von/D-Von’s kids thing going ANYWHERE? They’ve been doing this same stuff for months now and I guess D-Von is mad at Pope again or maybe now at his kids or something? I have no idea what the end goal of this is but it’s taking way too long for an angle with D-Von Dudley in it.

Roode is ready.

D-Von yells at his kids and Pope. D-Von is training his kids to be wrestlers it seems. Pope says chill and D-Von yells at his kids more, saying he calls the shots and says when for the kids to jump.

We get one of those serious videos about Roode training for his one match and how he’s given up so much for his family and his dream and all that jazz.

AJ Styles vs. Robert Roode

Just 12 and a half minutes this time. LONG headlock by AJ to eat up some time and then a dropkick gets two. Off to another headlock as I think it’s one of those “big” matches where they do very basic stuff but nothing actually comes out of it. AJ tries the springboard but gets caught in an over the shoulder gutbuster for two, injuring Bobby’s leg. They go to the floor and once that goes nowhere, AJ puts on a bridging Indian Deathlock to work on the knee a bit more.

They continue with this slow pace and it’s ok but it’s not much to watch, especially after how boring the rest of the show has been. Roode knocks him off the top but gets caught by the springboard forearm for two. Here’s the springboard 450 but Roode moves. Styles Clash is blocked twice, the second time into a sunsef flip for two. Pele misses and Roode grabs the Crossface and AJ taps at 8:32.

Rating: C+. The ending was good but this is another match like the opener: they needed more time to make it good. A win over AJ is a good thing but there’s still a total lack of heat in my eyes on the title match. They’re trying so hard to make this a huge match and I’m not getting into it at all. Roode simply isn’t that interesting and would rather talk about how much he respects everything and show absolutely no emotion other than serious which is logical I guess, but MAN is it dull.

AJ praises Roode and says he’s going to be the next champion. This takes forever and AJ says he wants a shot. Roode says ok.

Here’s Hogan for the big announcement. He talks about how he’s been soul searching recently and started thinking about how the Hulk Hogan run has been awesome. He talks about Hiro Matsuda breaking his leg when he started training and how he came from the beginning to the match with Andre and how many times he sold out MSG and all those big matches. Sting is watching in the back.

Hulkamania could go on forever. Then he had a chance of a lifetime: to come to Impact Wrestling and make a difference. He saw a bunch of hungry eyes and now they’re all stepping up. Every moment has been worth it and Sting is still watching. He (Sting) talks about Suburban Commando and says Hogan is a great actor.

Hogan says this is the end of the road and he’s retiring. He wants to thank the Impact Zone fans because they’re the important ones. Even his wife hasn’t heard this yet. But Flair and Bully Ray have? The fans are always with him and he’s leaving. Next week will be the formal announcement and it’ll be a big celebration of Hulk next week. Sting doesn’t buy it.

Overall Rating: D. Oh man I did not like this show. They spent the whole night plugging Roode vs. Angle and I still don’t care to see it. The match will probably be very good, but at the end of it I’ll say something like “Ok so what’s next?”, which will be Sting vs. Hogan because that’s been built up far better, although the match will be a disaster. These buildup shows for BFG have been built on two matches and I’m not thrilled to see either, which isn’t a good thing.

Results
Brian Kendrick b. Kid Kash, Alex Shelley, Zima Ion and Jesse Sorensen – Kendrick pulled down the contract
Madison Rayne b. Tara – Rollup
D’Angelo Dinero b. Mr. Anderson – Pin after Bully Ray hit Anderson with a kendo stick
Robert Roode b. AJ Styles – Crossface

Chi-Town Rumble
Date: February 20, 1989
Location: UIC Pavilion, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Magnum TA

This is a one off show with the first match in the Steamboat vs. Flair trilogy. Steamboat is the first guy Flair brought in after he took over as booker from Dusty who is on his way to the WWF. The Horsemen are mostly broken up but Hiro Matsuda is managing various people who used to be on the team. This is a very forgotten show so let’s see if there’s a reason for it. Let’s get to it.

Jim and Magnum talk about the card.

For you visual learners out there, here’s a video about the matches (there are only seven) tonight.

Michael Hayes shouts a lot and says a lot of people are shouting and says he feels like Pete Rose. He sounds like he’s plugging a PPV instead of talking about his opponent, who hasn’t been mentioned yet.

For you card carrying members of the IWC, Dave Meltzer is in the front row on camera all night.

Michael Hayes vs. Russian Assassin #1

It’s Jack Victory under a mask. You’ll be hearing that name later tonight. They exchange overly long headlocks to start and a Russian sickle misses. Hayes takes over and stops to play to the crowd because he’s not that smart at times. Must be that Freebird Hair Cream getting into his brain (WCCW joke). Hayes works on the arm but stops to strut. JR calls it the patented strut. How do you go about getting that patented?

The armbar lasts way too long and the Russian fires back with a knee. Hayes was a lot better at working a crowd than he was in the ring. You can’t have everything though I guess. Most of a Russian Sickle gets two. That’s like the Russian version of the Samoan Drop. The Assassin’s manager, Paul Jones, messes up a cover by bickering even though Hayes is down.

Here’s a chinlock by the Assassin as the fans chant USA. That doesn’t last long so the Russian hits a Sickle for two and goes back to the chinlock. Hayes tries a comeback but gets hit in the back despite there being no back work on him in the first ten minutes or so. Jones chokes some and this needs to end. It’s not that it’s a bad match but it’s really boring. Hayes blocks a suplex into one of his own but an elbow misses. A charge in the corner hits the post and Hayes pounds away. DDT out of nowhere ends it with Hayes winning.

Rating: D. Oh man this was dull. Who in their right mind thought this deserved 15:48? The match was mostly laying around and it wasn’t interesting at all. Hayes is a guy that can get a great reaction out of a pile of dirt but he’s not a guy you want in the ring for almost 16 minutes. Not sure what they were thinking here.

Ricky Steamboat and his family talks about how important family is and he dedicates the match tonight to them.

Sting vs. Butch Reed

Sting is on the verge of shattering the glass ceiling but they’re a PPV away (about three months) from pulling the trigger and giving him the TV Title. That came at WrestleWar. Sting is in new clothes and is all fired up. He’s ready for Reed too. Magnum TA summed up Sting perfectly on the Starrcade DVD: “He had so much talent and so much charisma that he had no idea what to do with it all.” That’s as accurate as you can get with Sting in the late 80s.

Reed has gotten a solid push around this time too so this is far from a squash. He also has Matsuda with him as Reed was considered for a spot in the Horsemen before Arn and Tully left. Feeling out process to start and I have a feeling this is going to last for awhile. Sting speeds it up and Reed hits the floor because he has no idea what to do with the painted one.

Sting throws on a headlock and we hit five minutes. An elbow misses for Reed in the corner and it’s time for a beating. Ok or maybe it’s time for a wristlock. Teddy Long is the referee. Reed sends him to the floor to take over. This has the makings of a very long one here. We’re ten minutes in and Reed pounds away. JR keeps calling Reed’s punches soup bones. Is there some connection between Reed and Taker that I’m missing? And who puts bones in their soup?

Magnum keeps calling Matsuda an Oriental which would get him thrown off the air today. It’s time for a chinlock as they need a breather and Reed needs to call some spots to the rookie known as Sting. Sting fights back and tries a Vader Bomb in what would be ironic in about 4 years. It gets knees here but Reed misses a clothesline and is knocked to the floor. Reed takes over again and hooks a one armed chinlock. That’s not something you see every day.

Sting hooks a jawbreaker but is sent out to the floor again. That’s one of those moves that happens way too often in the late 80s NWA. Sting grabs a sunset flip but Reed grabs the top rope. Teddy breaks that grip so Reed grabs the middle rope. Teddy breaks that up too so that Sting can finally get the sunset flip for the pin. This was over twenty minutes long.

Rating: D+. The length hurts this one again as so much of it is made of armbars and chinlocks and moves like those that it never got interesting. Also having Sting not get to use any of his big moves kind of defeats the purpose of the match as it was there to give Sting a win. However he needed Teddy Long to make that work. I don’t get that at all.

Reed jumps him post match and is beaten up again.

Paul E. Heyman says that Dennis Condrey isn’t going to be here tonight and Jack Victory (told you you would hear that name again) is replacing him. In other words, Condrey was fired so this is a Loser Leaves the NWA match. I think that’s just the person that loses the fall though but I’m not sure.

Cornette’s Express says they’re not worried.

Midnight Express/Jim Cornette vs. Jack Victory/Randy Rose/Paul E. Dangerously

This was a pretty good angle with a pretty cool backstory. Ok so WAY back in the day, the original Midnight Express was Randy Rose and Dennis Condrey. They teamed for awhile (along with a third man named Norvell Austin) and were the original Midnight Express. They left Southeast Championship Wrestling where they got started and Condrey went to Mid-South Wrestling where he was put together with Condrey as the Midnight Express. This is the version that feuded with the Rock N Roll Express and is probably the most successful version.

Now here comes the interesting part. One day the Express was scheduled to go to California for a show. Condrey never showed up. No one is quite sure where he went but he wasn’t seen for years. One day he popped up in the AWA with Randy Rose and said they were the Midnight Express. At the same time, Eaton teamed up with Stan Lane to become the latest form of the Midnight Express.

So then the Midnights (Lane and Eaton) got crushed by the Road Warriors for the world titles. On TV one night Cornette got a phone call by someone making fun of them. Then Dangerously, Rose and Condrey ran out and it was Midnight Express vs. Midnight Express. Then Condrey left again and that’s why Jack Victory is here now. The feud never got as good as they were hoping but the Starrcade match was pretty great.

The person to take the fall here is gone and since Condrey is gone, is there any doubt as to who is taking the fall here? Lane vs. Rose starts us off and Rose goes sailing to the floor. Cornette comes in and drops an elbow so he can strut a bit. Off to Victory who doesn’t do well either so let’s try Rose again against Eaton. The good guys are dominating this. The heels mess up again and Dangerously clocks Rose by mistake. JR makes fun of it, saying it’s not like it hurt or anything.

Lane vs. Rose at the moment but it’s off to Eaton quickly. They go to the apron and Eaton goes crashing onto the railing to totally shift momentum. The railing is the old faithful way to change things. Dangerously comes in, pounds away a bit, ducks a right hand and runs away to bring Rose back in. Cornette wants Dangerously and the fans sound like they want to see it too.

Instead Rose gets his hands on Cornette and to his credit he takes a quick beating. Off to Dangerously now who is acting like a true heel manager, only coming in when his opponent is in trouble. Cornette gets in a single shot but Dangerously runs to Rose again. Jim finally gets in a tag to Lane who meets Jack Victory but Dangerously interferes to give the heels the advantage again.

The fans are all over Paulie here as Rose jumps to the floor to take Lane down again. Lane gets beaten on for a good while and is in a chinlock by Rose. There’s the hot tag to Eaton after some kicks to the ribs by Lane (his specialty) and a missile dropkick almost kills Victory. In a cool bit, Eaton walks Victory’s half out cold body over to Dangerously and grabs Victory’s hand to slap Paul.

Paul is dragged in to face Cornette and this is the part everyone has been waiting for. Cornette beats on him for a bit and it’s off to Lane vs. Rose again. Rose misses a splash but Victory saves the pin. Everything breaks down and a double flapjack is enough for the pin on Rose. That’s an old Midnight trademark so it’s cool to see that instead of the Rocket Launcher or cheating.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here and it’s always cool to hear that sweet Midnight Express theme song time and time again. The ending was never really in doubt and this eventually lead to Heyman becoming the top heel announcer a little bit after this. Still though it was a good match, although nowhere near the Starrcade one.

Flair says he’ll keep the title because he’s awesome.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Mike Rotundo

This is the Starrcade rematch but the heat isn’t on it anymore as Steiner won the title. However there’s now the added issue of dealing with Rotundo’s Varsity Club’s teammates. Let’s go to Rick Steiner to see how he plans to deal with that. Rick brings in his brother as Scott Steiner debuts. Scott mentions that Rick is out there like he is (including talking to a puppet named Alex) because of a bad car wreck they were in a few years ago.

Rotundo is out there alone so Rick looks a bit odd having his brother there. Rick takes over to start, hitting what we would call an AA to frustrate Rotundo. This is going to be a very technical match. Mike gets sent to the floor again as Rick is controlling early but he hasn’t done anything major. Rotundo fires off a European uppercut but Steiner takes over again, this time with a headlock.

Steiner hits something but the camera is on someone in the crowd so we don’t see what gets the two count. We’re about six minutes into this and nothing has happened so far. Well at least nothing of note. They’ve been doing more than standing around for that whole time. Off to an abdominal stretch and Scott tries to get the referee to notice Rotindo’s cheating. They go to the mat and Rotundo hammers away with crossfaces.

Off to an armbar as this is a very slow paced match. It’s not bad but it’s slow. Rick hits a monkey flip to get a breather and a knee lift for two. A top rope splash (???) misses for the champ and we head outside. Back in and Rick snaps off a powerslam for two. And here’s Kevin Sullivan, talking about Rick’s dog in the back so Steiner goes after him. Back in Rotundo gets a suplex for two. Steiner pounds away in the corner with five minutes to go and there’s a sleeper. Steiner goes to the mat with it but loses focus with Rotundo on top so that Steiner gets pinned while holding on to the sleeper.

Rating: C+. Pretty creative ending there and it plays to the idea that Steiner isn’t all there but he’s trying. The Steiners would start teaming up soon after this and would become the best team WCW ever produced. Not a great match here but the pacing was good enough to give us something else that we didn’t see that often.

The Road Warriors say they’ll end the Varsity Club in their home town of Chicago.

US Title: Barry Windham vs. Lex Luger

Barry turned on Lex months ago to join the Horsemen and this is the revenge match. Barry is also champion. The champion says he’s going to beat up Lex. Matsuda is with him as well, as he’s been with every heel tonight. They exchange shoulder blocks and no one moves. Lex no sells a suplex and throws Windham around as only Luger can. Windham suplexes him back in but can’t grab the Claw. It’s gotten a bit stronger since Dusty stayed in it for about five minutes last show.

Lex’s eye is busted a bit due to right hands. Out to the floor again and Barry manages to punch the post. It busts open Windham’s hand and injures him to the point that the Claw is worthless. Oh please like that’s the case after last year’s Bash. A powerslam gets two. Barry is like screw it and goes for the superplex but Lex gets up at two. Barry isn’t sure what to do now so he goes for a belly to back and it’s the ending where Lex gets his shoulder up first to win the title.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent here but there were a lot of times on here where I wasn’t sure what the appeal of it was. Lex would go on for a huge run with the title, holding it nearly two years. Barry would be in the WWF by about Mania time so this was his last hurrah in the NWA, at least for a few years.

Barry piledrives him on the belt post match because he’s a sore loser and he wants Lex to be a sore champion.

Rotundo is all HAHAHA I’m the champion again! He lost it to Sting at the next PPV.

Tag Titles: Varsity Club vs. Road Warriors

The Warriors have the belts and it’s Sullivan/Williams on the other side. The Varsity guys are the US Tag Champions. The Warriors in their hometown with Iron Man playing and coming in as champions is a pretty awesome sight. Animal vs. Sullivan to get us going. Off to Williams and the question of who sells first comes up. Well so far that would be no one until Williams hits a powerslam and brings in Hawk.

Williams hits a gorilla press so Hawk takes his head off with a clothesline. The Warriors hit a clothesline on both sides of Williams at the same time. It gets two and you don’t have to ask JR twice to praise Williams for that one. Out to the floor and Sullivan hits a chair shot to the shoulder of Animal to take over. Williams busts out a leg lariat/kick to the face to get two.

Sullivan shows better psychology and works over the arm he hit. Williams does the same, I guess being influenced by Sullivan. Wow that’s not exactly something I was expecting. Lots of arm work follows as Animal stays in trouble. There’s the dreaded double clothesline, which is a huge compliment to whoever was in trouble beforehand because one clothesline is enough to keep the other guy down for the same length of time that a guy who was beaten down for awhile does. Everything breaks down and something gets botched, resulting in Hawk getting the pin off a top rope clothesline.

Rating: D+. Not much here but they tried at least. The Road Warriors were only able to do so much and they kept it short which is the right idea for them. Not a great match or even a good one, but like I said the Road Warriors in Chicago are always worth checking out as this was a solid reaction.

Luger, with a bandage around his head, thanks the fans and says he won’t let them down.

We recap Steamboat vs. Flair which was started in a tag match where Steamboat beat the tar out of him. They played up the family man in Steamboat vs. the womanizer in Flair which was an awesome idea. This of course resulted in Flair being stripped to his underwear because that’s what Flair is all about…..somehow. This takes about four minutes to get through.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat comes out with his wife and son. Flair comes out with a band, his theme song and six women. Never let it be said that he didn’t live up his gimmick. Matsuda is here again. Steamboat gets a shoulder block for a very fast two. In another nice move, Flair drops down for Steamboat to run over him but Steamboat drops down to grab a headlock. Flair hits the floor as he isn’t sure what to make of this speed.

Back in Flair fires a chop and Steamboat is like I can do that too and chops even harder. Steamboat grabs the headlock and takes Flair to the mat with ease. Flair keeps rolling him up for two counts. We hear about how they had different backgrounds, ranging from blue collar to white collar. They chop it out and MAN are those loud. Flair takes a double chop for two and bails for a bit.

Steamboat chops him to the floor so Flair slows things down again. A hip toss and headscissors get two. They speed things up and Flair takes him down with an elbow. Steamboat is all like HI YAH and chops him to the floor. Out to the floor and Flair takes over with his nefarious means. These shots are HARD. Things slow down and Flair takes over, dropping the knee for two.

Butterfly suplex gets two. They chop it out again and there’s the Flair Flip. Ric comes off with a cross body but Steamboat rolls through for two. The crowd is eating this up. Flair hits an atomic drop and grabs the Figure Four out of nowhere. A huge Steamboat chant breaks out and Steamboat is tapping, but we’re about four and a half years from that meaning anything in America.

Steamboat has been in the hold for about two minutes now but Flair gets caught grabbing the ropes and Young breaks the hold. Steamboat fires off even more chops but Flair hits a cross body to put them both on the outside. A suplex back in gets a few two counts for the champ. Belly to back gets two and Steamboat grabs a rollup for two. They do the backslide counter into the bridge but Steamboat stops in the middle with the butterfly suplex for two.

Flair keeps trying to come back and control but a clothesline and a chop takes him down again. This is incredibly fast paced. Top rope chop puts Flair down and the cross body hits but Young goes down as well. Flair gets a cradle with tights for no cover. Steamboat misses another cross body and Flair tries the Figure Four but Steamboat rolls him up for the pin as Teddy Long runs in to count the fall and give Steamboat his only world title.

Rating: A+. I’ve heard about how great these Flair vs. Steamboat matches are and this is my favorite of them. They did not stop for over twenty minutes and the result is a classic war where Steamboat outsmarted Flair at the end in a clean finish. Those are some of the loudest chops you’ll ever hear and it’s a great match as a result. Excellent stuff.

Steamboat wants his family out here and holds his son….who immediately reaches back for his mom.

Steamboat says he can’t believe it and the other faces shower him in champagne. Ever the pro, Steamboat praises Flair and says he’s got the first shot.

Overall Rating: B-. Well you have a classic main event and the rest of the card isn’t that bad on top of it. Nothing is really all that bad but other than the main event, nothing is going to stand out. That’s the point of a masterpiece though and I can’t call it anything other than that. Pretty good show but check out the main event for sure as it’s a great match between two masters.

What are some matches you don’t hear people talk about that you’re a fan of?

One of the matches I remember liking is the main event of Uncensored 97.  it’s a three team 12 man tag with Team Piper vs. Team WCW vs. Team NWO with a stipluation if each of them wins.  The whole thing actually works and there’s nothing to it that is too far over the top that it gets ridiculous.  The post match appearance by Sting and confirming that he’s WCW is awesome stuff too.

Your picks?

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 22, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Counting tonight there are four shows left before Bound For Glory. Last night the rest of the shows leading up to the PPV were taped in Nashville so the entire thing has been set. I’ve never been a fan of that but that’s just me. Anyway, tonight we continue with Roode facing Fourtune in his gauntlet style thing as well as continue having Hogan and Sting set up since now that match is official for BFG. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Sting in a Hogan shirt and jeans to open the show with a contract in his hand. He talks about how things are great right now and he wants Hogan here right now. Hogan comes out and says he’s not medically cleared to wrestle. Sting FREAKS (in his insane way) and says he has some footage. It’s of Hogan killing Sting with a chair and beating him up from a few weeks ago. Hogan says he’s not going to fight at BFG even if he’s in shape as Sting has been chasing him for years but never caught up to him.

Sting says ok then. Screw BFG and let’s do it right now. Cue Bischoff for the interruption. He goes off on Sting and Sting doesn’t seem that interested. Eric tells Sting to look at him and Sting does as he clocks Bischoff with a right hand. Eric looks a bit dead now. Sting gets in Hogan’s face and says the match will happen.

Karen talks to Mickie and Tessmacher and says get ready for their match. Mickie leaves and Tessie says none of that erotic stripping stuff. She also tells Traci to cover those things up. She yells at Karen again and Kaz comes up to her to call Karen a madam. He and Traci leave and Karen immediately calls Jeff to yell.

Jeff Hardy arrives and is looking for someone to talk to.

Brooke Tessmacher vs. Mickie James

This is part of the qualifying series for the title match at BFG. The crowd goes almost silent once the bell rings. They fight over a wristlock (the girls, not the crowd, although that would be interesting to see) and we’re in the always awkward face vs. face match here. Tessmacher gets a rana for two and a dropkick to take over.

She grinds onto Mickie’s face in the corner and Mickie is ticked off. I guess she’s changed teams since her infatuation with Trish. She beats up tessmacher with a bad flapjack and the jumping DDT gets the pin at 2:55. Tessmacher looked MUCH better here than she usually does and is downright watchable.

Mexican America is off to get some new tattoos in a truck.

Al Snow talks to Jeff hardy who says Jeff made a mistake. He shakes Jeff’s hand and says to not make that mistake again and start at the top. Al also says he’s here if Jeff needs him.

X-Division Title: Jesse Sorensen vs. Austin Aries

No entrance for Sorensen. Aries asks for silence before the match which is an old school heel tactic and it works. He takes Jesse to the mat and tries to tick him off. Jesse is all annoyed and Austin steals Jesse’s football. Sorensen adds a third sport to things with a baseball slide and then a HUGE dive over the top to take Aries out. Kid Kash comes out to distract Sorensen which only works for a bit as Sorensen gets a big old Kingstonesque top rope cross body for two.

Aries goes up and jumps into a dropkick for two. Sorensets for something but Austni counters by ramming him into the corner. We get a Let’s Go Jesse/Austin Aries dueling chant. Kash is still there and distracts Jesse again, shoving the football into his chest. That isn’t a DQ for some reason and Jesse throws the ball into Kash’s chest. Aries hits a dropkick to the back of the head and a rollup for the pin at 4:27.

Rating: C. Not bad but Kash vs. Sorensen is something that should be over already. They had a three match series and Sorensen won the thing. What’s the point in continuing it now? Aries probably needed to get a clean win here but I see the idea of having him win with some shenanigans. Not bad but nothing great. Sorensen can jump though.

Anderson and RVD talk about their tag match tonight with Ray and Lynn, their respective opponents at BFG.

Anarquia has a new tattoo on his chest and says we need some tequila. The chicks go off to get it and the tattoo artist has to switch with someone else. Anarquia says he’s afraid of needles so they pray for him to not be scared. As they open their eyes, Ink Inc pops in and beats them up. They fight into the lobby of the place and the tattoo lady pops Anarquia with an elbow. This beating is going on for awhile. Hernandez was put through a table. They beat Anarquia onto a table and tattoo him but we’re not allowed to watch.

Jeff Hardy is looking for Kurt but finds Matt Morgan. Matt says hang for a bit. He rants about what Jeff did from a professional standpoint. Personally though he says he used to be a painkiller addict and he’d be a hypocrite to not give Jeff one last chance. Matt says if Jeff screws up one more time, Morgan will be the first person on him.

In the back, RVD has been put through a table. No idea who did it.

Hardy is talking to Kurt and Kurt doesn’t want him here. Angle says no one wants him here now and Kurt tries to throw him out. Jeff wants to know who Kurt is to judge him. Kurt goes on his rant about how great he is and tells Jeff to get out again. He goes to leave and Jeff stops him, saying it’s because Kurt knows he’s the biggest threat to the title. Kurt says don’t ever say that again and leaves.

Here’s Kurt and he calls out Robert Roode. Here’s Bobby still with the Beer Money theme. We take a break before Roode gets in the ring. Back and Angle says that Roode has passed the first test against Kaz in a great match. Tonight however he has Christopher Daniels. Kurt isn’t sure if Daniels will play by the rules tonight. Roode says this isn’t going to work. For 13 years now he’s given everything to the business and he knows Kurt is the best in the world. However at BFG he’s going to become world champion.

Angle implies he’s gotten to someone that Roode is close to and implies it’s Storm. Here’s the Beer in Beer Money. Roode looks confused and Kurt gives Storm a thumbs up on the way to the ring. He says to Roode that he makes his own rules. However he’s not here to get into it with Roode but rather Angle. Oral sex is implied but Storm wants a match with him instead. Kurt doesn’t turn it down or accept it but Storm seems confident it’s happening. I guess it is happening.

Bully Ray/Jerry Lynn vs. Mr. Anderson/Rob Van Dam

There’s no RVD due to the attack earlier. Ray starts us off but tags in Lynn almost immediately. Anderson is crotched on the top and it’s off to Ray. A splash gets a fast two and we’re in a chinlock about two minutes into this. Lynn gets a rolling…eye poke and Anderson is down. He sets for the Rolling Thunder but stomps on Anderson instead. He’s making fun of Van Dam if that wasn’t clear.

Some double teaming fails and Anderson takes them both down. A neckbreaker gets two on Ray and Anderson takes them both down again, including with an Amazing Red double spin kick to Ray for two. Lynn is sent to the floor and the Bubba Bomb is countered into the Mic Check for two. Lynn made the save but Anderson is able to hit the swanton for two. Lynn comes off the top for a save but hits Ray by mistake….for two. Ok then. Lynn distracts Anderson and a shot with the chain is enough for Ray to pin Anderson at 6:23.

Rating: C. I kind of liked the idea of this match as Anderson couldn’t get the win against the numbers game. The attacker of Rob isn’t a huge issue as it’s pretty clear it was Lynn and Ray, which is fine as it makes sense. Not bad here but it was a bit of a stretch to have Ray kick out of the swanton and the shot off the top from Lynn, although that’s a minor complaint.

Storm says he’s happy about Roode getting the title shot and says he’ll make some trouble with Angle even if he didn’t win the Series.

Christopher Daniels vs. Bobby Roode

Daniels comes out in street clothes. He talks about how he won’t wrestle Roode tonight because it would be a great match, but he has nothing left to prove. Three weeks ago he beat AJ in this ring which means a lot more. Cue AJ who wants to know what the deal is with Daniels. Daniels says there’s nothing to get over because Daniels is the better man. AJ is glad he has his confidence back but if Daniels keeps bringing up AJ’s name, there’s going to be another match. Daniels declines but AJ slaps him. AJ goes to leave but Daniels talks some trash and the fight is on.

After a break they’re STILL fighting. They fight to the back and into the Direct Auto Insurance offices. Why would you have an office in the back of a wrestling arena? They go back to the ring and Kaz comes out to break it up. They get calmed down and Daniels kicks AJ in the balls before bailing.

Angle is with Steiner and says he’ll beat Storm tonight because of the training he’s been doing. Steiner has been training him. Steiner says Angle is the best ever and says Kurt will beat Storm.

Back from a break Kaz and Daniels are still arguing. This makes about 20 minutes on the three parts of this segment. Kaz says they’re not his enemies and to calm down.

Kaz goes to AJ and AJ says that was Daniels showing his true colors. He says Daniels lost his mind after getting a little something going. Kaz says that’s Chris being Chris and says the whole thing is BS. AJ throws up in a trashcan due to the pain in his balls. Kaz talks about how this is about the difference between wrestling and life.

Bischoff tells Hogan he’ll find a loophole. Hogan says he’s got it and has a bombshell waiting for next week.

Kurt Angle vs. James Storm

Storm tries to take it to the mat, probably due to a lack of sobriety. Angle for some reason doesn’t want to do that and Storm pops him with a right hand. We go to the mat again with Storm in control but then Kurt is launched over the top and gets to do his front flip and lands on his feet spot. Angle suplexes him on the floor and takes over back in the ring. After a rest hold they both try cross bodies to send both guys down. Angle might be bleeding from somewhere on his arm.

Storm starts his comeback with some clotheslines and Kurt is in trouble. Backstabber gets two. Angle snaps off a belly to belly for two. Angle Slam is countered into what looked to be the Eye of the Storm but Kurt reverses into the ankle lock which Storm can’t break. Yeah Kurt’s forearm/elbow is bleeding but it’s nothing too serious. Storm finally rolls through for two and sends Kurt’s shoulder into the post for two more. Superkick is countered into rolling Germans for two more. You would think all those twos would get three eventually but they never do.

Moonsault misses (duh) and Storm heads to the apron. Kurt, looking like he could use a cheeseburger, tries to run the ropes but gets his head bitten instead. A top rope elbow gets a VERY close two as this has gotten good. They slug it out and the Eye of the Storm is broken up again. And here’s Gunner for interference to set up the Slam for two.

Angle slaps him around and Storm superkicks the referee. Naturally the kick hits Angle the second time and here’s Earl for two as Gunner pulls him out. Gunner clocks Storm with the belt and I guess the match is thrown out at about 11:30. Roode comes in to take out Gunner. He picks up the belt

Rating: B. This was getting good until the end which is probably the best way they could have gone. I still think Storm costs Roode the title at the PPV which is both good and bad as their feud is pretty much guaranteed at some point but they need to let Roode win the title and have a moment first to set up a slow burn heel turn for Storm. Good TV match here until the pretty obvious ending.

Roode holds up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well the pacing problems are back. There were two stretches tonight with over half an hour between matches. In short, that is not something that should happen. With TNA’s roster as big as it is, that should never be a problem. You could throw anything out there to bridge one of those gaps. The TV Title was won in late May and has been defended twice since, once in June and once in August. You could throw that out there. Maybe the Pope or someone like that.

But no, instead we need to spend THREE segments on AJ vs. Daniels to set up their 900th match on PPV and have a long segment with Ink Inc beating up the tag champs. The wrestling, what little there was, was just ok and the talking was nothing special other than to show that it should be Storm challenging for the title and not Roode. Not their best effort here but they added to BFG so points for that.

Results
Mickie James b. Brooke Tessmacher – Jumping DDT
Austin Aries b. Jesse Sorensen – Rollup
Bully Ray/Jerry Lynn b. Mr. Anderson – Chain to the throat
Kurt Angle vs. James Storm went to a no contest

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 15, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re back home in Florida now and we’re on the way to Bound For Glory. The BFG Series is over as well and we’re in the Robert Roode Era as the main event (in name only) of BFG is him challenging Angle for the title. The main part of the show tonight though is Sting vs. Flair with Sting’s career being on the line and Flair trying to prevent Sting vs. Hogan from happening. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the BFG Series matches resulting in Roode winning the tournament. Also Hogan helping Angle keep the title.

Here’s Flair to open the show in robe and presumably ring gear underneath it. He wants to talk to Sting and here’s the crazy man. Flair says tonight it’s Icon vs. God. Sting has an old school colorful robe on. The only way Sting can get to Hogan is over Flair’s dead body. Sting says Flair is going to die tonight then. He’s the Stinger and he’s going to do a lot of evil things to Flair. He’s right in Flair’s face and Sting wants it right now. Security comes in to break it up and Flair says Sting got lucky.

Jeff Hardy is here again.

Jeff says he’s taking another step tonight as far as his recovery goes.

Mexican America vs. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero/Tara/Miss Tessmacher

It’s an 8 person mixed tag. Hernandez vs. D-Von gets us going with Hernandez asking D-Von to come at him. He does just that and down goes SuperMex. Off to Anarquia who gets beaten up by Pope a little bit. Despite having black hair, being a black man, being about 20 years younger and sounding nothing like him, Pope winds up playing Ricky Morton. Maybe he’s a method actor or something.

That doesn’t last long as he takes Hernandez down with a clothesline and a double tag brings in the other guys. The girls haven’t been in legally at all yet. Clothesline/shoulder puts Anarquia down and a neckbreaker gets two. The fans chant USA as the good guys avoid stereo low blows. The chicks chase each other on the floor and the Mexican chicks hit on D-Von’s kids. Instead of cheering them on like a normal dad would, D-Von and Pope aren’t happy. The girls get in a big catfight and the male champs are sent to the floor. Despite being illegal, Tara and Tessmacher hit stereo moves (couldn’t see Tessmacher but Tara hit a chokebomb on Rosita) for the pins at 5:04.

Rating: D+. What a mess this was. The girls never were legal and the second half of the match was a big mess with everyone running around in a big brawl. That’s Russo 101: when all else fails, throw the wrestling out the window and have people do so much at once that you can’t tell what’s really going on. It works on occasion but it didn’t here, not with that many people at once.

Karen yells at Traci about being late and says to cover up her chest. Traci’s jobs tonight is to bring the Knockouts to Karen’s office.

Karen is yelling at the Knockouts and tells Mickie she gets no rematch. I don’t see Winter. There will be three matches over the next three weeks to determine who qualifies for a fatal fourway at BFG for the title. Mickie fights Tessmacher, Tara vs. Madison and tonight Velvet vs. Angelina. They’re called Queen’s Qualifiers because if there’s one thing you know about Russo, it’s that he has a name for EVERYTHING.

Fourtune is in the ring and AJ brings out Roode for his big entrance. AJ sings his praises and Daniels does as well. Him beating AJ on a fluke a few weeks ago is mentioned a few times as Daniels brings it up at every possible chance. He brings it up a third time and everyone laughs it off. Kaz says they’re a family and they’ll have each others’ backs. They all have goals and Kaz is lucky to be able to call Roode his brother and his friend. Time for the big one in Storm. After all the time he’s missed with his family and everything he’s sacrificed, this is the payoff. Storm sounds legit here.

Storm says he’s sorry about Kurt’s luck and here’s the champ. He tries to convince the rest of Fourtune that they’re jealous but no one seems to buy it. Angle calls the title the Impact World Heavyweight Championship. Angle has the ability to make matches now (what is he the fourth person in this company that can do that?) and Roode has to fight the members of Fourtune and tonight it’s Kaz.

Back and Eric is proud of Kurt’s decision.

Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love

Angelina jumps her during the entrance (the camera was on the wrong end anyway) but Velvet gets something resembling a bulldog to send Angelina to the floor. Back with Angelina getting two off something we don’t see. Sky’s tights now say Let the Pigeons Loose. Oh great. Just what Tazz needs: a thought that it’s catching on. Sunset flip out of the corner gets two for Velvet. Velvet starts her comeback and tells Winter to get up on the apron. Winter clocks Angelina on the head with the belt (Hebner is cool with it) and a DDT (called a BeauDT but screw that) gives Velvet the win at 9:05 counting commercial.

Rating: D. Your usual Knockout mess here and the ending was really stupid. Why wasn’t that a DQ? Because the script didn’t call for it I suppose. Also, why would Angelina want to go fight Winter? Don’t they love each other or something? Also, seriously, the Beau-DT? I hated the Mick-DT but this is even worse.

Hardy comes up to AJ in the back and AJ doesn’t want to hear it. He calls Jeff selfish and says he almost brought down the whole company. Jeff is selfish and people talk bad about TNA because of him. He’s not out there drinking and doing drugs. AJ says there’s never going to be a time or a place for Jeff to be around AJ. Good stuff from Styles here.

Hogan talks to Flair about the match and says he has a Plan B. Sting pops up and wants to hear Plan A.

Crimson is via satellite and talks about how he’s going to make Joe pay. He’s back in two weeks.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan

This is a submission match because…..because we needed a gimmick match. Joe jumps him in the corner which gives him an advantage for what must have been a good three seconds. Morgan beats him down but has no idea what to do as far as submissions go. He puts on a triangle armbar but Joe escapes. He gets up and pounds Morgan down then throws on kind of an inverted figure four for the tap at 4:30. I know that’s a short recap but there’s nothing else to say at all.

Rating: D. Again, WHAT IS THE POINT OF IT BEING A SUBMISSION MATCH??? Joe can beat Morgan at something that is Joe’s specially. Is this a stunning revelation and a great achievement for him? I don’t get it but Russo is obsessed with throwing gimmick matches out there so we’ll chalk it up to one of his quirks.

Kurt comes in to talk to Kaz again, offering him the next title shot after Roode. Kaz throws him out.

D-Von talks to Hardy and the truth is that Jeff is a Little Jimmy. Oh wait wrong show. The truth is that Jeff is trying to throw everything away. D-Von says get it through his head and be the Jeff Hardy he can be. At the end if Jeff fails again it’s over. Jeff turns to leave and D-Von says he’ll have Jeff’s back if he needs it.

Kazarian vs. Robert Roode

Roode has some new tights which is a good thing as he needs something to set him apart as a singles guy now. They still have the dollar signs on them which doesn’t make much sense as the money hasn’t meant anything in a long time. They start technically and Roode grabs a front facelock. Kaz breaks out of it and tries his spinning legdrop but Roode moves.

Tornado DDT is countered into a northern lights suplex for two by Rob. Roode goes a bit harder now and Kaz is sent to the floor. Back inside he grabs a front facelock of his own but they speed it up a bit moer and Kaz tries the Fade to Black. Roode counters into the Crossface and Kaz hangs on for a bit but has to tap at 6:07.

Rating: C+. Fun little match here and Roode getting clean wins over his stable mates is a good idea to give him some main event credential. A clean win like that over AJ, especially one where he catches him in the crossface in a counter, would do very well for his career. Good stuff here and a nice surprise.

Angle is watching in the back.

During the replay Taz calls the Fade to Black the Kryptonite Krunch. There’s already a move called that and it’s nowhere near the reverse piledriver.

Video about the premiere of Angle’s new movie Warrior which has gotten really good reviews.

Roode and Kaz had a small argument during the break because Kaz wants to be in that position but he says Roode proved he was the right man for the spot and they shake hands. Roode says he wasn’t expecting this match but they respect each other.

Austin Aries says he backs up his talk. It’s now the A Double Division because he’s a level above the A Level. Next week he makes his first defense.

Roode vs. Daniels next week and Mickie vs. Tessmacher.

Also Ray/Lynn vs. Anderson/RVD. Lynn says RVD is gullible and if RVD hadn’t been high he would have caught on. Ray says he’s been beating up RVD for 15 years but now he’s tired of Anderson sticking his nose in other people’s business.

Sting vs. Ric Flair

They start off with their usual Sting vs. Flair stuff with Flair getting frustrated because Sting keeps escaping his stuff. It’s not exactly crisp but they’re an average age of 57. We take a break and come back with Sting hitting a clothesline to send Flair to the floor. Back in Flair gets a low blow and after about two shots to the leg it’s Figure Four time. Sting gets out of it and Flair works on the knee ever more.

Sting makes the superhero comeback and hits a superplex for two. It looked more like 3 but Immortal ran in late so the referee had to stop. Hogan and Abyss come out but Anderson runs out for the save. Hogan slips something to Flair and he KOs Sting for two. Flair throws a weak chop and Sting Hulks Up. Stinger Splash sets up the Scorpion and Flair taps at 15:06. Yes, fifteen minutes.

Rating: D. Well it was bad but the initial reports of this being unwatchable are a stretch to put it mildly. They were out there WAY too long and I’d love to see the raw footage of this to see how bad it was minus editing and the commercial. Flair shouldn’t be taking those kind of bumps, but who said he made sense?

Hogan and Sting stare each other down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Sting vs. Flair was pretty bad as most of it was chop/punch/no sell for fifteen minutes but the rest of the show wasn’t horrible. The first hour was pretty weak but the rest of it worked well enough I guess. We have most of the pieces set for BFG and I hope we get more of a concrete card set before the show unlike No Surrender. Not a great show but it’s better than most of their recent stuff.

Results
D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero/Tara/Miss Tessmacher b. Mexican America – Chokebomb to Rosita
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love – DDT
Samoa Joe b. Matt Morgan – Inverted Figure Four
Robert Roode b. Kazarian – Crossface
Sting b. Ric Flair – Scorpion Deathlock

No Surrender 2011
Date: September 11, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re at the finals of the BFG Series tonight and I think it’s some system where you win based on how many total points you have. Not that TNA ran over any possible scenarios or anything but I guess math is a bit beyond their abilities. We have Angle vs. Anderson vs. Sting for another PPV tonight because those three are the only people that have been designated as main event guys. Three matches were thrown onto the card Thursday and I think more will be added with no warning. Let’s get to it.

There’s a patriotic theme to the Impact Zone and the TNA voice says let’s take a moment to remember ten years ago. That’s fine. The roster is on the stage for this.

The opening video is all about the BFG Series and to be fair that’s what they should focus on, even though the logic of it is pretty limited.

Kid Kash vs. Jesse Sorensen

The winner is #1 contender for the X Title. These two have been feuding and split the first two matches. Jesse has his football which I wouldn’t recommend since I’d rather be watching my Cowboys than this game. He signs it for a kid which is a nice touch I guess. The ropes are the old WWF red white and blue style which is required for this show. Kash’s tattoos almost look like they’re eating him. If it gets rid of some of that gut I’m all for it.

They hit the mat quickly for some technical stuff and Jesse snaps off some armdrags. It’s a stalemate early on. Kash wants a test of strength and that goes nowhere. Kash slaps him but you don’t slap a guy from Texas. Sorensen charges but gets sent into the post on a slide to give the evildoer the advantage. Brainbuster gets two. He fires off some crossface shots to the…uh….face’s face and keeps pounding away.

Sorensen fires back with some strikes and a solid dropkick which almost every young kid has anymore. They must have grown up watching Maven “Eyebrows” Huffman and followed his great example. Cross body gets two and it’s time for more of Kash’s boring old school style stuff.

I don’t get why Kash keeps getting hired. There’s nothing particularly interesting about him but he was in WCW in the dying days, got a title in ECW, got a title in old TNA and got the Cruiserweight Title in WWE. I don’t get it at all. Kash can’t put him away so he gets frustrated and shoves the referee. A Crash Landing (release vertical suplex) sets up an attempted moonsault but Kash crashes. He still manages to get two as Sorensen is in trouble. Out of absolutely nowhere Sorensen gets behind Kash and lifts him into the air for kind of a reverse Impaler for the pin at 8:00. That was about all the offense he had in seven minutes.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible opener but the ending came out of nowhere. I don’t get why they brought Kash back in as his look isn’t any good anymore and he’s old. There’s nothing interesting about him but I guess it’s because he’s a grizzled veteran or something. Not much of a match but hopefully Sorensen can move on to someone other than Kash.

Angle isn’t happy about having the title match tonight and yells at Hogan about it. He’s officially Immortal as well. Hogan tells him to chill and says go get ready. I smell a swerve.

Bound For Glory Series: Bully Ray vs. James Storm

Storm has to win via submission to have any chance. Storm has a new shirt that says Beer Hunter with some crosshairs on it. I like it. Loud Bully Sucks chant to start and he runs away from Storm for a bit. If he was smart he’d get counted out quickly or find a way to get himself pinned. Ray keeps running and I have a feeling this is going to be a show based around trying to get points one specific way or not losing one specific way.

Ray stalls even more, channeling his inner Zbyszko. We get going now and Ray sends him into the corner but gets caught in a cross armbreaker and is in trouble. Storm isn’t very good at it though (makes sense) and Ray gets out and bails. The fans keep calling him Pussy Ray. Storm goes back to the arm and hooks an armbar, showing psychology. Ray tries to break it but gets caught in a cross armbreaker again, this time in the middle of the ring.

Bully escapes again and heads to the floor. This time Storm goes after him and hammers away a bit, still working on the arm, sending it into the steps. Ray sends him into the apron and steals some beer. No idea if he swallowed it or not. He grabs a chair and as it’s being taken to the floor Ray spits the beer in the eyes. Old school heel work still works.

HARD chop by Ray as Tazz explains the difference between types of quivers between your legs. He calls for the Bubba Bomb but gets reversed and it’s right back into the armbreaker. Ray looks like he’s in big trouble here but he gets his foot onto the rope to break it up. Storm throws on a Scorpion (he’s grabbing the foot, not the knee) and Ray is in trouble again. Blast it he made the ropes.

Storm kicks away at the arm and throws on a (Mr.) Fujiwara Armbar but Ray counters into a rollup for two. Storm goes to the floor and has some beer also complete with some yucky backwash but spits it into the referee’s eyes by mistake. As he’s blinded, Storm gets the tapout but loses by DQ at 11:50. Well that makes sense I guess. It also gives Ray 53 points, I believe clinching at worst a tie.

Rating: C. Not a horrible match and the psychology from Storm was there for the majority of the match. It wasn’t so much on Ray’s part because there was no reason for him to not just head to the floor and take a countout loss then interfere in the other match for a DQ for either guy, giving himself the tournament. Then again that wouldn’t make for much of a PPV so I guess they couldn’t do that.

We recap Winter vs. Mickie which involved past lives, blood, implied lesbianism, drinking blood and Daisy Duke shorts. You can piece the rest together yourselves.

Knockout Title: Winter vs. Mickie James

Mickie beat Winter a few weeks ago on Impact to get the title back. Winter is a bit freaky with some magic stuff going on. This is the rubber match. Winter’s music is kind of cool. Mickie has a Wonder Woman style outfit here including the skirt. Mickie takes over quickly and we head to the floor. Winter goes face first into the railing but she takes over back inside.

Mickie comes back with some strikes and a rana out of the corner. A dropkick puts Angelina down but it lets Winter get a shot to the head in to take over again. Suplex gets two. Winter chokes away as does Angelina. She puts on a backbreaker and bends Mickie over her knee. I can’t complain about all the upskirt shots here from Mickie. Spinout backbreaker puts Mickie down again.

A neckbreaker out of nowhere gets Mickie a breather as both chicks are down. They slug it out with Mickie getting the better of it. She fires off some clotheslines and a flapjack before nipping up. A big kick to the face gets two as Winter grabs the rope. James throws on a half crab with a leg trap but Winter gets the rope. Love slides in the belt but Hebner gets it away. A rollup gets two for Mickie.

Winter fires off some shoulders in the corner and Angelina is lurking. Mickie tries a tornado DDT but Angelina pulls Winter to the floor. Mickie is like cool and takes her down with a Thesz Press off the apron. Love runs up the apron as Winter has a chance to load up some blood. Mickie comes back in and Love distracts her. Unfortunately she doesn’t do it well enough and Love takes the blood in the eyes. Mickie goes for Winter but takes the OTHER blood in the eyes for the pin at 8:35.

Rating: C. The match was fun but we see one of Russo’s weaknesses here: that’s two matches in a row based on spitting something in someone’s eyes. There’s no point in doing it twice in a row as it makes it look stupider the second time. Also this was almost the same ending that they had to the PPV match last time, making it even dumber. Do ANYTHING other than the previous match’s ending. A belt shot would have worked fine here, but Russo likes spitting blood so that’s what we get. Also why did they put the belt back on Mickie at all?

Gunner says he’ll do whatever it takes to go to BFG when Ray comes in and says HE goes and Gunner does whatever it takes to get him here. To even get a tie either guy has to win by tap out. Bullying is Ray’s business and business is good.

Tag Titles: D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero vs. Mexican America

Remember when TNA had the best tag division by far? Man that seems like forever ago. Can we watch Sarita and Rosita dance instead of watching this match? D-Von vs. Anarquia starts us off. The fans chant for the USA. Off to Pope very quickly as they work on the arm. Ok back to D-Von as the challengers are tagging in very fast. SuperMex comes in and D-Von is all cool with that too.

A clothesline puts Hernandez down for a bit and it’s off to Pope, who according to the audience is pimping. If anyone knows what it means to be pimping, it’s a town famous for having a Mouse theme park in it. Anarquia comes in again and this is firmly in first or second gear. The challengers hit something resembling a Hart Attack but with a shoulder instead of a clothesline and D-Von playing the rope of Bret.

Pope kisses Rosita and then holds her by the air above the floor off the apron. FREAKING OW MAN!!! D-Von and Pope set for What’s Up but Sarita breaks it up. Despite looking nothing like him at all, D-Von lands the role of Ricky Morton. Anarquia hits a back elbow for two. Mexican America hits a pair of splashes and Rosita adds a dropkick. Hernandez takes forever to set up a charge and is taken down by a spear from D-Von.

A double tag brings in Anarquia and Pope with Pope cleaning most of the rooms in the house but not all of the house. Top rope cross body gets two on Anarquia and the champs take down Pope with Hernandez hitting a top rope headbutt but there’s no cover from either of them. Everything breaks down and a double shoulder block puts down Hernandez. The girls come in and get stereo spankings. D-Von takes down Hernandez and we go back to Wrestlemania V as Pope suplexes Anarquia back in but one of the chicks hooks his leg for the fall on top pin at 9:53.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one but I could see how some people would. The girls got involved about five times and the ending was so cliched it’s almost unbearable. That’s what this show has been: one cliched ending after another. Also, D-Von and Pope are the best tag team they could get for this? At least the Brits are a regular team that gets along more than a week before the PPV. Not into this at all.

Anderson makes fun of Immortal and while he doesn’t like Sting he’ll do it to get rid of Angle. JB gets embarrassed by saying he sees a sunset in doors. Typical Anderson here.

We recap Joe vs. Morgan which is basically Joe injuring a bunch of people because he couldn’t get half the matches in the Series that anyone else could at the end and Morgan stood up for the honor of a Series he was in for about a month.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan

The fans are for Morgan who is in almost all white. Joe fires chops at the injured chest/pec so Morgan hammers away right back. He takes over even more and hits a Taker apron legdrop. Joe gets back in the ring and hits the suicide elbow to take over. Back inside Morgan hits a top rope crossbody for two. He loads up the Carbon Footprint but Joe bails. As he’s getting back in he pulls the arm across the top rope to work on the pec and then hits a running knee to keep his advantage.

The fans chant Sloppy Joe as Tazz implies a lot of the fans at home are fat. Tenay has nothing for that. Joe pounds him into the corner and gets a loud enziguri for two. Morgan fires some punches but is taken over by some Judo throw that Tazz loves knowing the name of. Off to a Kimura for awhile but someone shows Joe a Twinkie so he lets go of it. He calls for the Muscle Buster and then doesn’t go for it, instead being taken down by a discus lariat.

Morgan hits a side slam but Joe takes over again. The selling/momentum is kind of missing in this match. In a weird looking move, Joe gets a running start at Morgan and then grabs him into a belly to belly. He tries the Clutch but it’s more like a sleeper. Morgan manages to break it but Joe never had it on full. He tries it again and gets it on mostly full including the leg lace. Now it’s the full Clutch but Matt gets his leg on the rope. Joe gets in Hebner’s face but misses a charge, letting Morgan take his head off with the Carbon Footprint for the pin at 11:38.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but the main thing here is that this is a great example of what’s wrong with TNA. Back in 2008 Joe was awesome and motivated and dominating people while looking awesome. Then they decided he wasn’t going to get pushed anymore and he’s been floundering ever since. Morgan is a guy they’ve decided they aren’t going to push so he’s floundered as well. The problem in short is the management has decided that they’re in the group not worth pushing so they’re not going to and the guys get discouraged and it becomes a self-fulling prophecy.

Roode says it’s his time and he’s coming for Gunner and Ray. Storm is with him and doesn’t look pleased. Storm stops him and says it’s cool and sounds sincere.

Bound For Glory Series: Gunner vs. Robert Roode

If this ends in anything but a submission, Ray wins. Therefore, there’s zero reason why he shouldn’t come out and clock one of these guys to have the match end in about three seconds. Roode takes it to the mat quickly and Gunner breaks it off to get to a stalemate. The fans are all behind Roode. They do some nice technical stuff to get to the mat as they fight over a hammerlock.

Roode tries the Fujiwara Armbar but Gunner hits the floor. Bobby gets to the arm and wraps it around the post. Gunner misses a charge and hits the post shoulder first again. Back inside and Roode works over the shoulder even more. You can’t fault him for lacking psychology. Gunner grabs a DDT to break things up and go after the neck of Roode. Roode escapes a full nelson but Gunner takes him down again and chokes a lot.

Gunner gets a neckbreaker and hooks a neck crank. Off to a headscissors which doesn’t last long. Roode escapes a neckbreaker and tries for the armbar but Gunner escapes and takes Roode down with a short clothesline. Now Gunner gets the full nelson but he can’t hook it fully because of the arm. Roode rams him into the corner about five times and the hold is broken.

Gunner misses a right hand and there’s the Fujiwara Armbar but Gunner escapes. Gunner charges into the spinebuster and both guys are down. There’s an elbow by Gunner but he gets caught in the armbar again. After nearly tapping he grabs the rope. The crowd isn’t into this at all for the most part but it’s not bad. Gunner gets his running knee finisher out of nowhere but Roode is on his knees quickly. He tries an F5 but gets caught in the armbar again and is dragged back to the middle for a Crippler Crossface for the tap at 12:07.

Rating: C. See, the problem here is that neither guy is really known for submissions so we weren’t sure when to expect the match to end so we didn’t know what was coming. Not a terrible match but oddly enough Storm vs. Ray with Ray stalling forever was probably a more interesting match. This was way too technical and it didn’t work for the most part. Not bad or anything, but pretty bland.

Eric comes out and says since the score is tied it’s Ray vs. Roode for the title. Why they didn’t just do a regular tournament is beyond common sense but so is most of TNA. Also the fact that we have three matches left and 80 minutes to go isn’t saying much either.

Aries says Kendrick’s time is over and it’s time for action. Kendrick is bringing his A game but Aries is bringing his A Double game.

We recap Kendrick vs. Aries. Kendrick speaks a lot of philosophical nonsense and Aries says he’s better than Kendrick.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Austin Aries

Kendrick is wearing a Genghis Khan head dress. I haven’t been incredibly impressed by Aries but I keep being told he’s the best in the world for some reason. They go to the mat quickly and that gets no one anything. They trade counters and Kendrick hooks a Fujiwara Armbar, making it the third match tonight where we’ve seen that submission. They speed it up a bit and Kendrick gets a headscissors to get a small advantage.

Aries is sent to the apron so he can chill a bit. Kendrick gets bored I guess and goes after him and back inside we go. Kendrick gets a kick to the head in and tries Sliced Bread but Aries heads for the outside. Brian rams him into the railing a few times and tries Sliced Bread out there which doesn’t work either. Aries gets a Russian Leg Sweep into the post to take over, getting two in the ring.

Back inside a pair of elbows gets two for Aries. There’s stump puller to really mix things up. A release STO sets up the classically stupid pendulum elbow which misses. Kendrick is sent into the corner face first but he manages to break up a running dropkick. Brian hits a bunch of dropkicks of his own to send Aries outside and we go back in again. There’s a missile dropkick for two.

Tornado DDT gets two. He tries Sliced Bread again but gets tossed over the top and out to the floor in a very nasty crash. Aries tries a suicide dive but Kendrick moves, sending Aries crashing into the barricade. They both barely beat the count back in and slug it out. Aries avoids a charge and Kendrick hits the floor AGAIN. What is that, 6 times already? Back in a running dropkick in the corner gets two.

Aries sets for the brainbuster but gets rolled up for two. Backslide gets two. Aries fires off a tornado forearm for two and an elevated DDT ala Orton for two. 450 misses but Aries rolls through. Kendrick grabs a tiger suplex for two. He tries sliced bread but the referee is in the corner. Aries kicks him in a place that isn’t nice to kick another man and the brainbuster ends this at 14:20 with a new champion.

Rating: B-. This was probably the best match of the night so far but it still was nothing to write home about, let alone half a page. They went outside so many times I lost count and the whole thing felt kind of boring. It wasn’t a bad match and was pretty good at times, but when you can bore a TNA crowd, you’re doing something special. To be fair this has been an incredibly unimpressive show so it’s not this match’s fault.

Ray says this is about one more match that he has to win to go to BFG. He’s going after Roode’s bad neck.

Bound For Glory Series Final: Robert Roode vs. Bully Ray

Well at least we’re not getting a three way. They get in an a face to face argument in the aisle with Ray trying to intimidate him. The fans are totally behind Roode and they stare it down. They talk a lot of trash and I think this is supposed to be epic and it just isn’t. Ray hides again to stall. And then does it again. Ray steals the hat of someone at ringside and that is a large man.

There has been no contact in about five minutes so far. They lock up and Roode gets an armdrag to send Ray to the floor again. I know they have a ton of time to fill but would some punches kill them? They lock up again and Ray is frustrated. He manages a hard chop but Roode no sells it and flips him off. Then he does it again minus the flipping. Instead he slaps Ray and finally we get going.

Scratch that as Ray is on the floor AGAIN. Ray grabs a headlock but Roode counters down into the crossface from earlier. Ray tries to grab the referee to no avail but gets out of the hold. A neckbreaker puts Roode down and a splash gets two. He slaps and chops away while talking trash but Roode no sells the chops again. Ever the lunkhead, Ray keeps chopping and they keep failing.

A big right hand works a bit better and they slug it out. Roode comes back with a forearm and clothesline to take over. The Blockbuster gets two. Rock Bottom gets two for Ray. Bubba Bomb gets two and Ray is mad. The middle rope backsplash misses and the spinebuster gets the pin out of nowhere at 12:34.

Rating: C. The match got better in the middle but the first seven or eight minutes were so boring it was ridiculous. I get that it was supposed to be epic, but you can only get so epic with Bubba Ray Dudley. I’ve been told how great Roode is for years now and while I don’t think he sucks, I don’t see this star in him that everyone says is there. I like Storm better but we’ll see what he can do with this chance now.

Rosita talks about her dad dying on 9/11.

We recap Angle vs. Sting vs. Anderson. Angle joined Immortal to get rid of Dixie’s young talent and got brought into this feud because of it. Anderson is back and the Network made this main event for some reason.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

Sting is in the blue one again tonight. After some big match intros we’ve got about 20 minutes for this assuming the show is going off at about 10:53. The fans seem to be behind Anderson at first. Angle immediately goes to the floor to continue the stalling theme of the night. Back in and both guys hammer him down and send him to the floor to get a one on one going.

We’re firmly into the triple threat formula as they go at it for a minute or so until Kurt comes back in and Anderson goes to the floor. In perfect timing, Angle sends Sting to the floor and turns around to have Anderson waiting on him. What are the odds of that? Everyone is in now and Anderson gets a neckbreaker for two as Sting makes the save. It’s a triple suplex as Angle suplexes Sting who suplexes Anderson. I think I’ve seen that before.

Angle is the only person standing at the moment. Belly to belly gets two on Sting. Off to a rear naked choke which doesn’t last long since Angle isn’t Samoan. Stinger Splash hits Angle and a regular DDT gets two. Anderson is back in now and he hits a kick of some sort for two. Mic Check to Angle doesn’t work so here are some rolling Germans. Now Sting takes some rolling Germans for a two count. I bet he could have had three if they were Rolling Rocks instead.

Angle tries a superplex but has to settle for the running up the corner belly to belly for two instead. Sting counters the Angle Slam and throws Kurt over the top. Scorpion on Anderson and Anderson squeals like a piggy. He can’t quite get the rope but Kurt comes in for an Angle Slam to Sting for two. Why is Kurt surprised that move didn’t get a pin? One to Anderson gets the same result.

There’s the ankle lock on Sting but it’s eventually rolled through, sending Kurt into the Mic Check for two. Sting fights out of the fireman’s carry into a Death Drop for two as Angle pulls him out to the floor. Hogan pops up and sprays something in Sting’s eyes (third match with someone being blinded tonight) and the Angle Slam keeps the title on Kurt at 15:24.

Rating: C. Not bad but it’s triple threat 101 here all the way. I’m so sick of seeing these three having these matches time after time and I can’t stand it anymore. The match was ok but for the love of goat’s milk, why do we need three blindings in the same show? I mean come on and give us ANYTHING else. You can’t throw in a chair shot or something? Either way, it keeps the title on the drunk which is the point….somehow.

Overall Rating: D+. It picked up a little in the last hour or so but until about 9:45 this was really boring. I still don’t get the idea in booking the tie instead of a straight semi-final and then final but it’s TNA so who knows what they’re thinking. The problem here for the most part was that it was just boring. A lot of the matches seemed thrown together and the important matches, namely the BFG matches, were ok at their very best. This wasn’t a good show but I guess they have some time to set up BFG which has most of the matches set already. It has to be better than this which was just boring.

Results

Jesse Sorensen b. Kid Kash – Reverse Inverted DDT

Bully Ray b. James Storm via DQ when Storm spit beer in Ray’s face

Winter b. Mickie James – Pin after Winter spit blood in Mickie’s face

Mexican America b. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero – Anarquia pinned D-Von after reversing a suplex

Bobby Roode b. Gunner – Crossface

Austin Aries b. Brian Kendrick – Brainbuster

Robert Roode b. Bully Ray – Spinebuster

Kurt Angle b. Sting and Mr. Anderson – Angle Slam to Sting