The show is tomorrow and I forgot to put this up until now.

There are only two things that matter so here are my picks for them:Given how they’ve changed the finals of the tournament from a fourway at the beginning to a tournament (I might have imagined that one since it makes the most sense) to whoever has the most points, I have no idea who is winning it.  I mean it’s not like TNA did anything on Impact to make us care about the matches or tell us who needs to do what to win for people that were being sold on the PPV at the last show, but that would have made sense and is why TNA never grows its audience.  I’ll take Roode for lack of anyone better.

As for the main event I’ll take Angle I guess but I’m not caring about the match or the show much at all.

Your picks?  You can predict any of the matches of course.

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 8, 2011
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s week two in Alabama and it’s also the go home show for No Surrender. That being said, we only have most of the card so far and the world title match has only been announced on Facebook instead of, you know, on the TV show which the majority of the audience actually sees. The big thing tonight is the return of Jeff Hardy on the day that he was sentenced to ten days in jail on drug charges. The return speech could be very interesting. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about Jeff Hardy and the mess that was Victory Road. He’s back tonight you know.

We also get a clip of last week where Hogan beat Sting up with a chair and cost him the world title. Anderson gets his rematch tonight.

Here’s Anderson to open the show. He talks about how he hasn’t had much to say the last few weeks because he’s been a man of action recently. He signed a deal with the devil though, and that was his own fault. Anderson welcomes the boos for it. The wide shots are really good to see here as there are actual people there instead of it looking like they’re in a lunchbox.

He turns his attention to Bully Ray for keeping him on the outside looking in. Anderson promises to be more annoying than ever before and tonight it starts with him going after Angle. Anderson brings up the dreaded rematch clause and he’s cashing in tonight. He knows it won’t be one on one and he points to the ramp. Here’s Sting to be Anderson’s backup. Sting says he’s like a fungus that won’t go away. This week he’s got the power of the Network and he’ll be the enforcer in the main event.

D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero vs. British Invasion

Winners get Mexican America on Sunday. No intro for the Brits. Magnus vs. D-Von to start. Off to Pope quickly who hammers away with elbows to the head. Williams comes in and slows things down a bit as you would expect from him. A clothesline gets two for Magnus. Mexican America are on commentatry. A middle rope elbow by Magnus gets two for Williams.

Pope fires off a DDT to Magnus and both guys are down. There’s the hot tag to D-Von who cleans house with right hands and power moves. Powerslam gets two on Williams. A Cactus Clothesline by Pope puts Williams on the floor and a release spinebuster by D-Von ends Magnus at 3:56. They seem fine despite almost always having problems.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here but it wasn’t that bad. Didn’t D-Von not particularly like Pope last week though? Also this is the best they can do for #1 contenders? They’ve won a total of one tag match (this one) and now they get a title shot. That’s wrestling for you I suppose.

An MMA fighter comes in to see Angle.

The Final Four in the BFG Series are Gunner, Roode, Storm and Ray. The matches Sunday are Roode vs. Gunner and Storm vs. Ray. The guy with the most points after those matches go to the PPV. It’s not a tournament, it’s really a points system to go to the biggest show of the year.

All four finalists are in the ring and Ray gets JB out of there. He respects Beer Money but neither of them is going to Bound For Glory. Ray talks about how tag teams want to become great individual wrestlers and every team has done it. Gunner is a guy that is willing to put his personal desires aside and will make sure Ray goes to BFG to win the title. Wrestlers are selfish so Beer Money won’t lay down for each other.

Roode says he doesn’t buy any of what Ray said but they have their eyes set on the world title. They want to be world champion and Sunday only one can walk out #1 contender. Roode asks Ray who is going to be the better man. It’s going to be Roode or Storm because it’s not going to be Gunner or Ray. Roode promises the Beer Money fans that no one will ever split them and no one will ever kill Beer Money. There’s a fatal fourway later on.

We get a recap of Eric’s Hollywood Adventures.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. Eric Young

That MMA guy is on commentary again. What he has to do with this is beyond me but who cares. Robbie keeps trying to put his feet on the ropes for covers and the referee stops counting. And there go Eric’s pants and he’s wearing Jersey Shore style trunks. He hits the top rope elbow for two. A piledriver ends this at 2:51. I’m fine with these antics if the title is defended.

Rob Terry beats up Young post match with a Last Ride.

RVD is looking for Jerry Lynn and hey there he is. Rob gets in his face and Jerry asks what about him. He complains about having to get a real job instead of getting contracts like Rob did. Eric and Hulk called him and asked him about showing up and he said he’s better than Rob. He admits to screwing him and Rob beats him down.

Velvet talks to Mickie who has a dog with her. She mentions wanting to be champion someday. Karen comes in and complains about life in general, saying get rid of the dog. Winter gets her rematch at No Surrender.

Jeff Hardy is here.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

Sting is guest enforcer. They exchange headlocks to start and it’s a tossup. Angle takes Anderson down with a clothesline and we hit the chinlock. They collide in the middle of the ring and both guys are down. They’re mirroring each other so far. Anderson tries to speed it up but gets caught in a belly to belly for two. Angle Slam is countered and Anderson hits the rolling fireman’s carry drop for two.

Kurt counters the Mic Check and hits the Rolling Germans for two. There go the straps and the ankle lock goes on. Anderson manages to roll through and get two before the Mic Check gets the same. The referee takes a thumb to the eye so Kurt kicks him low and hits the Slam but Sting pulls the referee out. Anderson hits another Mic Check but here’s Gunner for the DQ at 7:12.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t into this as it felt like they were just going through the motions to get to the DQ ending. I can’t stand matches like that because they’re boring and don’t show anything that these guys are capable of. Not a good match for the most part but when you handcuff them like this there’s only so much they can do.

Immortal beats down both guys post match. The fans chant for Hardy but that gets them nowhere.

Immortal is celebrating while Eric is on the phone and doesn’t look happy. He tells them to go outside and isn’t happy with what he hears. He’s almost freaking out about it, asking if it’s a prank call. No idea what it is.

Mickie James/Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love/Winter

Winter vs. Velvet to start but it’s off to Mickie vs. Angelina before there’s any contact at all. Mickie snaps off a rana out of the corner but a Winter distraction results in a kick to the ribs. Velvet gets a blind tag to come in and a low dropkick gets two. There’s a weak monkey flip and she takes both Winter and Angelina down with a headlock/headscissors combo. Love cheats again and Velvet gets beaten down for awhile. After a long beatdown she makes the hot tag to Mickie and we get the title match preview. With the big hulabaloo going on, Winter sprays blood into Mickie’s face at 5:10 for the pin.

Rating: D+. Love is so skinny it’s getting scary. Other than that, this was your typical Knockout tag: it’s not bad but it’s better than the Divas which is the entire point. I’m still not sure why they gave Mickie the title back already and I hope they don’t give it to Winter again on Sunday because it would be pretty stupid to have the change that fast. This wasn’t terrible though.

Here’s Austin Aries to say he’s going to win the title Sunday. He tells the fans to shut up a lot so clearly he’s not a nice person. Aries calls Kendrick a hypocrite and calls out Kendrick here and now. Here’s the champ in a suit with a briefacse. He talks about being tired of being a social outcast and wants to be a success, like Aries. “I’m even wearing shoes!” And yeah he hates them. He goes into a bit rant about how he needs to be free to reach his mother earth and quotes Buddha a bit. Kendrick calls the title materialistic and Aries insults him a lot. The brawl is on and Aries runs.

Hogan is freaking in a good way and Eric is still upset. He talks about going to the beach and Eric says we’re not done yet. The Network isn’t happy. Because of the beating that Hogan is so happy about there’s a three way for the title at No Surrender with Angle vs. Sting vs. Anderson.

James Storm vs. Robert Roode vs. Gunner vs. Bully Ray

One fall to a finish here. It’s tornado rules too. Here’s Joe almost immediately and here’s Morgan just as fast to stop him. Morgan vs. Joe on Sunday also. Ray and Storm stand tall for a bit until Ray runs Storm over. Beer Money cleans house and teases going at it until Ray breaks that up. Gunner goes for a cover and Ray isn’t happy with it. A big clothesline gets two on Roode.

Storm comes back in with a top rope cross body and beats up Gunner a bit. Roode hammers on Gunner and hits the spinebuster for two. Beer Money teases it again but instead they suplex Gunner and SHOUT THEIR NAMES. Ray runs them both over and takes them both out with power stuff. Gunner hits a running knee to Ray’s head for the pin at 5:00. That was nice as he was left in the background and then stole the pin.

Rating: C. This was ok but it was nothing great. I wish this had been the way the BFG Final went at the PPV because it would make more sense but I guess they need to flesh out the card more and have some overly complicated rules. Not bad here and Gunner winning was a nice surprise also. Nothing great but not bad.

Here’s Jeff with like two minutes left. He talks about how he was messed up last time and he’s sorry about it. He had a problem and hit rock bottom there. Everyone is mad at him and he can’t blame them. His eyes look decent at least. He wants one more shot. The fans chant one more shot. He says all he can do is ask and that’s it.

Overall Rating: B-. Pretty good show this week but you can see a lot of problems. For one thing we got three title matches added with three days left before the PPV, one of which is the main event. That’s a match that could draw in some people and they’re adding it in at the last minute. The Hardy thing is too early to tell but my initial instinct is not to trust him, which is partially the point and all of the problem. Good show this week but No Surrender feels thrown together and that’s not good.

Results

D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero b. British Invasion – Spinebuster to Williams

Eric Young b. Robbie E – Piledriver

Mr. Anderson b. Kurt Angle via DQ when Gunner interfered

Winter/Angelina Love b. Mickie James/Velvet Sky – Winter spit blood in James’ face

Gunner b. James Storm, Robert Roode and Bully Ray – Running knee to Ray

Starrcade 1991
Date: December 29, 1991
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Vigrinia
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

This is the inaugural Battlebowl and I believe the first WCW PPV I distinctly remember. This is literally the only thing on the whole card. There are ten qualifying matches with mixed up tag teams and then the two ring battle royal main event. That being said this is BY FAR the best way they ever accomplished it and a good show based on my memories.

The only thing that matters here is Sting vs. Luger as this is more or less one big buildup show to SuperBrawl where they would go at it for the world title. Starrcade went from being the biggest show of the year to this somehow which is something a lot of people never got. This concept would get bad quickly but at first it was good and it had Sting at the height of his drawing powers as a face so we have that to fall back on. Let’s get to it.

The opening is a basic video explaining what I just said to you.

Eric Bischoff, Missy Hyatt and Magnum TA do the drawings. I won’t mention throwing it to them as there’s nothing to it really.

Michael Hayes/Tracy Smothers vs. Marcus Bagwell/Jimmy Garvin

Hayes and Garvin of course are the Freebirds. Allegedly the matches here were in fact fixed but booked to the point that you couldn’t tell they were. The non-Freebirds start us off with Bagwell being the only face in sight. Or is Smothers the only heel? I can never remember with the Freebirds. These shows are hard to talk about as there are no angles so we kind of have to figure that out as we go.

We go to the crowd where we see wide spaces of empty seats. We hear about Mike Graham teaching Bagwell and how great of a trainer he is. That’s a lie as he’s a terrible trainer but points for trying I guess. No tags yet. Ah there’s one as Garvin comes in. Apparently the Birds are faces here. If nothing else they’re popular here so that’s all that matters. Smothers goes to the floor as this isn’t really going anywhere.

Hayes shaking his head at Smothers is funny stuff though. Bagwell back in and the arm gets worked over. Hayes finally comes in to a solid pop. And there he goes again as Smothers is getting destroyed out there. He’s a US Tag Champion at this point which means nothing but the lack of angles leaves me a lot of empty space to fill. The fans think Tracy sucks.

Yeah the Pistols (Tracy’s team) are heels now which makes more sense. The Freebirds have to go at it for once and of course they don’t do much other than strut and lock up a lot. Oh hey there’s an arm drag! This is all in good fun though rather than being bad. And after a good bit of nothing they’re both out again. Can’t say I blame them though as it wouldn’t have made a ton of sense to beat each other up.

Garvin vs. Smothers now as we speed things up a bit. Cross body by Bagwell gets two and then Hayes accidentally hits Garvin, which says a lot as one of his finishers was a big left hand. While they argue, Smothers misses a top rope splash and Bagwell gets his Fisherman’s Suplex for the pin. The Freebirds are all cool and Bagwell and Garvin are in Battlebowl.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and the matches will be on a bit of an adjusted scale. In other words this wasn’t a great match all things considered but given what they have to work with, as in not their usual partners or in Bagwell’s case a tag match in general, this was pretty good and held my interest for the nearly 13 minutes it got, which was probably too many.

Rick Rude/Steve Austin vs. Big Josh/Van Hammer

Let’s see: Van Hammer was a total lack of talent but became one of the most popular guys in the company. Josh was a woodsman that danced with bears and was at the first Wrestlemania and was the original Doink. Rude is US Champion, Austin is TV Champion. Both are in the Dangerous Alliance and both are awesome. Austin and Hammer start which works as they had a TV Title feud.

Man it’s weird seeing Austin as someone that reminds me of Dolph Ziggler but with a better name. His character was NOTHING like the redneck and he could move out there. You can see the talent too which is weird considering who he’s in there with. Not much going on here but nothing too bad I guess.

Hot tag to Big Josh and his offense lasts all of a minute as Austin and Rude’s combined awesomeness takes him down. We more or less repeat the same stuff from the previous segment as Josh gets beaten down and searches for the tag. Sweet goodness Van Hammer was over. It could be argued that he was second only to Sting in popularity. And so much for that as a blind tag and Rude Awakening end Hammer.

Rating: D+. Total run of the mill stuff here but Austin and Rude make it worth watching. They had the advantage here due to experience together but the creativity of the faces made something like this far better than I expected. Not a great match but it worked. Somehow this was the same length to within a few seconds of the previous match which blows my mind.

El Gigante/Larry Zbyszko vs. Dustin Rhodes/Richard Morton

I smell a comedy match here. Larry, the genius that he is, allows Gigante to do the vast majority of the work here. To be fair that’s a rather smart strategy considering who his partner is. Larry is the coach apparently, barking orders at Gigante throughout the entire match. Rhodes does the vast majority of the work for his team which is odd as Morton is certainly capable of holding his own out there.

Larry comes in and has a good mini match with Dustin. Rhodes, more commonly known as Goldust today, was getting better every day at this point and Larry was a solid veteran that retired very early for a wrestler, hanging up the boots for the most part at around 40. He started doing more independent stuff but that’s certainly common. Larry tags Gigante in and then slaps him, sealing his own fate. Larry tries to run but Gigante throws him back in by his head and into a double dropkick for a growl at the referee and the easy pin. Morton was never legally in.

Rating: C-. Another quick but solid match. Actually no it wasn’t another quick match but rather the first quick match. This had a story to it which tells you what can be done if you rig the matches properly. While there was no direct connection here the idea of a loudmouth and a monster doing their thing was well done. Morton literally not being in there was weird but whatever.

Bill Kazmaier/Jushin Liger vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Mike Graham

Oh where to begin? Kazmaier is at the time the greatest competitor in the history of the World’s Strongest Man from America at this point. The problem is he makes Mark Henry look like Lou Thesz. Liger I’m sure you know of. DDP was still terrible at this point as he had just entered into the wrestling world having been a manager forever. Graham is the son of Eddie Graham, the legendary Florida promoter. He wasn’t horrible but he was more or less just a territorial guy put in a spot he wasn’t ready for.

Graham and Liger start us off which is by far the best possible combination. Liger is young here and completely awesome. Also keep in mind that he’s unlike anything that anyone had ever seen in America before. The roof of the place is rather weird looking to the point that it looks like a spaceship or something. And here’s Kazmaier. This could be painful to put it mildly, but at least Page isn’t here yet.

And I need to learn to stop talking. Page can’t slam him as Bill hasn’t really done anything at all. Kaz can’t do much of anything here so he has to defer to DDP which is a losing situation too. And here’s Liger vs. Page which is going to be a disaster too since Page won’t be able to do anything so Liger has to calm his stuff down. Back to the two talented ones and that lasts all of a second.

Back to Kazmaier, a power guy, that locks on a wristlock. Sure why not. Back over to Page as this is dragging something fierce. We get the eternally awesome Liger Surfboard on Graham as this match needs to end soon. Graham gets out and puts on a pretty bad looking Boston Crab. Very boring match so far. Back to DDP and Kaz which lasts about a second before it’s Liger and Graham part 5.

And so much for that as we’re back to the bad workers. They’re tagging very fast here. Graham goes to the floor and Liger hits a big front flip to take him out. Well at least I think that’s what he did as Ross can only tell us about it since the camera missed it. Second rope moonsault gets two for Liger. Everyone in there now as Kaz press slams Liger onto Page for the pin.

Rating: D+. It was FAR too long and that’s definitely the biggest thing it has going against it here. The other thing is Liger is the best worker in there while Graham was just ok. He however was the best wrestler on his team and the only one that belonged in the ring at all. Page wouldn’t get much better for about four years but he got better in a hurry once he started. This could have been decent if it had cut off about 4-5 minutes.

Lex Luger/Arn Anderson vs. Terrance Taylor/Z-Man

Z-Man is the only face out there. The heel team is rather impressive sounding. Luger is the dominant world champion at this point. Anderson and the face start us off and Taylor seems to not care that he’s a bad guy. Everyone goes in almost immediately and Luger and Arn are sent running. Luger and Zenk (What did you think the Z stood for?) and Luger have a nice fast paced sequence.

Taylor comes in as the faces (more or less) work on Lex’s arm. We hear about Luger trying to put Sting out of action using the gift boxes which was the biggest angle going at the time. In a nice sequence, Taylor goes for a sunset flip but Luger punches him. He has to do this twice more and STILL can’t get rid of Taylor but as he’s going down he tags Arn.

In that sequence you had Taylor, Luger and Anderson all involved in one straight stretch. It’s not something you see that often either and it was rather creative. I liked that more than I should have more than likely but whatever. Race interferes, allowing Anderson to hook a DDT (his finisher) on Zenk for two as Taylor makes the save.

Luger was kicked out of Miami for disciplinary reasons. I’ve never heard that before. Anderson goes for a double axe handle off the middle rope while Z-Man is on his back. It’s one of those stupid spots where the guy jumps into the feet. Never liked that but it’s a wrestling staple I guess. Taylor gets a rollup on Luger for two. Backslide gets two.

Gutwrench powerbomb gets two on Luger to the point where Anderson has to make a save. Taylor is showing off here and it’s working. Wow did I just say that? He calls for the Five Arm (another reason I can’t stand him) but Anderson gets a knee in the back to set up the Attitude Adjustment (Luger’s Piledriver. I guess 19 years is long enough to steal a name) for the pin.

Rating: C+. Definitely the best tag match so far. We had a definite face and heel team out there and it helped a lot. Having Anderson being the expert in tag wrestling that he was and making the save for Luger against the young hot shot that was giving him trouble was a nice story. This was a solid match and it worked very well given the circumstances here.

Ricky Steamboat/Todd Champion vs. Buddy Lee Parker/Cactus Jack

Champion is one half of the Patriots and is more or less an army ranger kind of character. He’s big and handsome and that’s about it. Parker is a weak cop character and more famous as the guy that said Batista had zero future as a wrestler. He’s considered one of the biggest jerks in wrestling history as he accomplished a grand total of nothing in his career but expected insane praise from anyone new in the business.

Almost all of his trainees (including one Bill Goldberg) would probably enjoy this as while he’s leaving the locker room Abdullah the Butcher beats the HECK out of him because Abdullah wanted to be partners with Cactus. Side note: why was there never a Cactus vs. Steamboat feud? How awesome would that have been? The beating in essence makes this a handicap match for Cactus.

Abdullah comes out to be his partner but of course isn’t allowed. Parker stumbles out through the curtain and Abdullah kicks his teeth in again, beating him half to death with the stick he carries with him. The two legends start us off here as Steamboat isn’t sure what to do with the ultra-aggressive Cactus.

Parker, trying to remember what planet he’s on, crawls back up onto the ramp after Abdullah kicked him off to the concrete below. Steamboat skins the cat and sends Cactus to the floor and hits what we would call a suicide dive to take Cactus down. Back in and Ricky throws in a superkick and enziguri to make the tag. To say he was ahead of his time in America is an understatement.

Champion, more or less just a big power guy, locks on a camel clutch. Parker is literally crawling on his stomach towards the ring. He’s selling the beatdown if nothing else. Tony sums it up perfectly (I’m shocked too) by saying that he looks like he’s in the desert reaching for a drink of water. Cactus hits his elbow from the middle rope to the floor which in his book he credits with causing his knees to slowly fall apart over the years.

Parker has made it all the way to the other ring but still has one more to get through. Cactus apparently has no clue this is happening but that was typical of him back in the day. Champion gets a powerslam for two as Parker has made it to the corner! Cactus goes up top but Champion gets a punch to the stomach to block it.

They collide and Parker, who is a jobber mind you, gets the tag. His reward for making it all the way here after a beating like that: A fresh Ricky Steamboat. Dang talk about having a bad day. Naturally a powerslam and the cross body end him in about 6 seconds. Well at least they made it quick.

Rating: C. Pretty good match here considering it was a handicap match more or less. Cactus was getting very good around this point and everyone knew it. They put him together with Sting soon after this and it was totally awesome. Steamboat here was of course good and Champion fit in very well as the power guy against Foley. Nothing great but all things considered this was fine.

Sting/Abdullah the Butcher vs. Bobby Eaton/Brian Pillman

That’s actually a good sounding heel team. Since Sting is on one team they’re the automatic faces of course. Abdullah was one of the guys that Luger sent to try to take Sting out so this is almost 3-1 against Sting. Abdullah with his rather horrible physique of course jumps Sting and beats him with his stick (called a kendo stick so it wasn’t WWE that invented it).

Brian runs down and makes the save for his buddy, beating on him with the same stick. Eaton works on Sting’s bad knee as this is going insanely fast so far. Eaton throws him into the ring and we’re finally going officially. The other two are still brawling on the floor and Sting is in big trouble already. The hero fights back through and Eaton is in trouble as we’re on the ramp.

Eaton is part of the Dangerous Alliance who Sting is feuding with. Sting is just ridiculously popular here. Eaton slaps Pillman which is apparently a tag. Ok apparently it isn’t. Butcher blasts Sting just because he feels like it and Sting is in trouble again. He drops down to the floor and grabs a pencil from Ross’ desk. Tony: I don’t think he’s going to use that pencil in its proper use. You can’t buy announcing like this people.

Naturally the pencil goes towards Sting’s throat. Who would you disqualify there? Pillman makes the save for his friend and Sting is all ticked off. He beats up Eaton on the floor as he’s getting violent out there. Pillman slams Butcher in the ring and hits a big old splash on the fat dude. Brian won’t tag Eaton.

Eaton tries to tag Abdullah who has no issue with wanting to beat up Sting. The announcers talk about how Sting has been in there the whole time which Eaton has as well. Sting counters something into a tombstone which is more or less botched. Pillman and Abdullah come in to fight some more as Cactus come lumbering out. Abdullah holds Sting but Cactus misses and blasts Butcher with the stick. After a dropkick for Jack, a cross body to Eaton ends this.

Rating: C+. Well it was certainly not boring. It wasn’t particularly great but Eaton vs. Sting is always worth checking out. Total one man show out there from Sting which is all the fans wanted. Pillman wasn’t quite a star yet so he was the only person anyone cared about out there. It would play into the ending of the show later on so this was important. Very fast paced and never once boring.

Cactus and Abdullah fight up the ramp for fun.

Vader/Mr. Hughes vs. Rick Steiner/Nightstalker

Nightstalker is Brian Clark, AKA Adam Bomb. It was originally supposed to be Diamond Studd (Scott Hall) but he has an arm injury. Vader is kind of new at this point but would become awesome very shortly. Steiner is the only face here. Vader and Hughes apparently team from time to time. Vader and Steiner start us off.

Everyone here played college football apparently. Wait Rick did? Are you sure about that? Ah never mind he just said college sports. That’s ok then. Steiner jumps from the apron to the floor to nail Vader as this is really just those two having a match while the other two are standing around which is likely the best idea for everyone involved.

Steiner and Vader get into a big power match on the floor so Vader rams him into the post. In an impressive show of strength Rick suplexes Vader back over the top rope and into the ring. Rick won’t tag out because he knows Nightstalker is awful. He tags Rick instead and promptly gets drilled by Vader. Bulldog off the top from Steiner to Hughes but he’s not legal so a splash on Nightstalker ends it.

Rating: D. Bad match here but at the same time look at who was out there. Steiner was all his team had and Vader was just a monster that if you weren’t named Steamboat or Sting you had no business in there with. This was the shortest match on the show at barely over five minutes so there’s that at least. Nothing good here at all but Steiner was trying.

Ad for Superbrawl, an hour and a half into this.

Scott Steiner/Firebreaker Chip vs. Arachnaman/Johnny B. Badd

Arachnaman is Brad Armstrong and Chip is Todd Champion’s partner in the Patriots. Basically Steiner is the only one in this worth anything. Badd means nothing at this point. He and Chip, who is roided like there is no tomorrow, start us off. And I’m bored. It’s not too bad but we’re just waiting for Scott to come in there and destroy everything in sight.

Yep there’s the tag and there goes Johnny. Armstrong (you try spelling the other one over and over) comes in and as usual gets his head handed to him. Steiner is just killing anything in sight with raw power. Down goes Badd again and Chip gets tagged back in. And of course he gets beaten down again. When I say beaten down I mean for a very long time as the heels (I guess?) take turns destroying him.

There are long stretches in here with nothing to say as no one cares about anyone but Steiner and with good reason. We speed things up a bit and Steiner gets a blind tag from Chip. Steiner comes in to a solid pop and just massacres them. Armstrong gets a kick but goes up top, only to get caught in a GORGEOUS belly to belly suplex from Scott to end this. Awesome suplex to end it as it looked devastating.

Rating: D+. Total dominance from Scott as everything here was designed to make him look like a star. If he hadn’t kept getting hurt he really could have been something special. Back in his young days he really was the prototype athlete as he had insane strength and agility for someone his size. Shame he completely lost his mind.

Ron Simmons/Thomas Rich vs. Steve Armstrong/PN News

This is the final tag match which is a good thing as you can tell that the fans are pretty much sick of them at this point. They really needed some singles stuff thrown in here and there to give the people something of a break. Power vs. power to start here with News vs. Simmons. Rich is a former world champion and Armstrong is one of the Young Pistols.

Simmons is on the verge of a huge push where he would win the world title. Simmons dominates for a good while until Rich more or less demands to come in. And then Armstrong beats him up so he begs to get back out. Simmons says no you wanted in so stay in like the jerk he used to be.

News and Armstrong beat up Rich for a LONG time and it gets very boring. The fans want Ron, Rich wants Ron, I want a stiff drink. This concept is fine but it REALLY needs to have shorter matches. We’re about ten minutes into this and there’s just nothing to talk about. Simmons finally gets the hot tag and the fans pop BIG. He slams News (who weighed like 450) and hits a Spinebuster on Armstrong to win it.

Rating: D+. Yeah whatever let’s just get to the battle royal so I can stay awake. See the previous match’s rating and substitute Simmons for Steiner.

Battlebowl

Two ring battle royal with the 20 winners from the ten tags that I’m not going to list off. Ok so I am since it takes a good while for the entrances: Vader, Marcus Bagwell, Jimmy Garvin, Dustin Rhodes, Bill Kazmaier, Jushin Liger, Steve Austin, Richard Morton, Todd Champion, Abdullah the Butcher, Firebreaker Chip, Thomas Rich, Ron Simmons, Ricky Steamboat, Mr. Hughes, Scott Steiner, Lex Luger, Rick Rude, Arn Anderson, Sting.

They saved Sting for last and I guess the fans were counting as just after Anderson you can hear them erupt. Sting is just ridiculously popular to the point where it’s hard to tell who the second most popular guy in the company is since it’s such a gap between whoever it is and Sting. Steamboat I suppose. This is on the Essential Starrcade DVD if you want to see it. The DVD is well worth picking up anyway as it’s awesome. Bad documentary though.

The first guy, Vader, misses his cue so the announcer has to stall by saying “The first competitor……in Battlebowl……the very first…….is…….VADER!” Funny. Quick summary of the rules: you start in the first ring and have to be thrown into the second ring (never specified if it has to be over the top) and then from the second ring over the top to the floor to be eliminated. Whoever wins the first ring will meet whoever wins the second ring in an over the top rope challenge for the whole thing.

They all start as Sting hits the ramp. Like the idiot that he is he goes straight for Vader. Anderson vs. Steamboat happens on the ramp. If nothing else the image of Anderson PANICKING when Steamboat is revealed as Dustin’s partner at Clash 17 is great. Kazmaier is put on the ramp over the top and Vader and Hughes, the guys that put him out, look legit confused when he’s allowed back in.

It’s so weird seeing Austin with blonde hair long enough to be in a ponytail. Ok apparently it is over the top to get into ring two. Vader and Steamboat go to the ramp too which is another drool worthy match. I know they had at least one big time TV match because I’ve seen it. Sting and Austin go at it in the corner. Imagine that match in 1998. Sweet goodness that would have drawn millions.

Vader puts Steamboat on the ramp again just because he’s evil. Rhodes and Anderson are brawling on the floor. Liger beats on Abdullah which is one heck of a weird match when you think about it. Thomas Rich goes into ring 2. You just have to go over the rope and can land between the rings as going over both sets would be really hard since there’s a good three foot gap between them.

Sting goes after Luger and the fans ERUPT. Morton throws Bagwell into ring 2 to give Rich something to do. Thankfully they go to a wide shot instead of the very annoying double screen. Dangerously gets on Tony and Jim’s nerves which is really funny. He was such a freaking jerk. Vader won’t go near the other side of the ring which is really smart. Well who’s going to make him I guess.

Chip hits ring 2 also giving us three people there. Liger and Morton go over also as the first ring is thinning out a bit. I love that they don’t even bother showing us that ring as no one cares. Ok now they won’t show ring 1. Well to be fair what happens there doesn’t really matter I guess. Morton and Liger have a solid mini match and then both go out, eliminating them from the match altogether.

Hughes is in ring two now. That gives us 14 people in ring 1 I believe. Rich is out. Steamboat and Anderson have fought around the ring and just kind of go into ring 2 for the fun of it. Garvin and Champion are in ring two now. It’s reaching the point of just needing to know who is left in ring #1. Tony thinks there are ten left in there but counting may be beyond his skill set.

Austin and someone else that may have been Scott Steiner hit ring 2. Garvin is out. Kazmaier and Abdullah go to the second ring. So does Simmons even though he went through the ropes. In ring 1 we have Sting, Rude (who both go to ring 2 as I type their names) leaving Luger and Vader (Rhodes went over as I was typing) in ring 1. Luger beats up Vader and Harley Race looks awesome here since he manages both guys. Or at least he would manage Vader soon.

Chip is out as Luger wins ring 1. You can’t say he wasn’t pushed as a strong champion. Abdullah and Kaz and Champion all go out. Luger gets to chill for awhile as Steiner has the future Steiner Recliner on Hughes. There’s a chance I’ve missed some people as it’s hard to tell as everything is going kind of fast. We do a wide shot and a split screen to annoy me. Granted the split screen are just small windows and are over the ring skirt (the thing that says WWE or TNA and is below the apron).

Rhodes is out and so are Hughes and Simmons. Bagwell is out and so are Vader and someone else I missed. Steiner is out and we have one heck of a tag match left with Steamboat, Sting, Austin and Rude as the final four. Steamboat pairs off with Austin and Sting beats on Rude. Stinger Splash to Austin which just sounds right coming out of JR’s mouth.

Rude is US Champion, Austin is TV Champion and Steamboat is a tag champion here. With four people left is there really a need for small split screens? Rude accidentally hits Austin to out him out. Rude throws Steamboat but he skins the cat and gets a headscissors on Rude to eliminate him. Rude grabs him as he gets back in to eliminate him then slides back in to hit a Rude Awakening on Sting.

The fans go NUTS for the idea of Sting vs. Luger though, making this the perfect ending for Battlebowl. This was the top rivalry at this point and everyone was just waiting for Sting to rise up and take the title off the monster champion. All Luger here as Sting is more or less dead. Both guys are in yellow here which is weird. Luger doesn’t throw him out when he has the chance, showing his incredible intelligence.

Luger throws him to the ramp and Race beats Sting up so Sting has to fight him off too. Sting goes into the guardrail and Sting is more or less nothing right here. Sting blocks a shot to the railing and takes over with the fans getting into things again. Sting puts him back into the ring and is all fired up. He beats the tar out of Luger and has him draped over the ropes.

Race comes in and Sting has to stop him, allowing Luger to rest enough to avoid the Splash and leave Sting hanging over the top rope. And again like an idiot he pulls him back in. Luger throws him over but Sting holds on and just goes OFF, beating the heck out of Luger and finally hitting a big clothesline to put Luger out and then collapses in the ring.

Rating: B. This was rather fun actually. The two ring idea worked very well and the final pairing was perfect. This is what you get when there’s a POINT to a battle royal rather than just having one for the sake of having one. Sting looks awesome and we set up the main event of the next PPV. What more can you ask for?

The announcers say time is running out for Luger to run as Sting is coming for him. He’d get him in about two months.

Overall Rating: C. This was a hard one to grade as this is the definition of a hit or miss show. The concept is a novelty for sure, but this is the only time it ever really worked. The main reason for this has to be Sting and Luger. At the three other versions of this the winners were Great Muta (left for Japan soon after), Vader (already world champion) and DDP (glorified jobber).

Here with Sting winning it you have a story and reason for him now to fight Luger since he’s beaten him in a major competition. That being said, this is more or less a failure as a build for the biggest show of the year as THIS should have been Sting vs. Luger, not Superbrawl. At least we got something entertaining between them before Luger was a jerk at the title match, knowing it was his last match and more or less phoning in the phone call he made to phone the match in. Either way, if you want to see Battlebowl at its best, this is the show to do it. Good show but ODD choice for Starrcade.

Uncensored 1997
Date: March 16, 1997
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Attendance: 9,285
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes, Bobby Heenan

This show is known for two reasons: the main event and what happens after the main event. This show is kind of a mixed bag as far as continuations of old stuff and new stuff being added. The card looks interesting at least, including one of the most tricked out main events you’ll ever find which will take a few paragraphs to recap alone before we even get to the twenty minutes it runs. Let’s get to it.

The opening video runs down the card which more or less says that there are all gimmick matches tonight.

Dennis Rodman is here tonight and we run down the stipulations for the main event tonight which is one of the most complicated matches you’ll ever see. Ok might as well get it out of the way now.

I’ll spare the rules for later but the stipulations are that if Team WCW (Giant, Luger, Steiners) wins, the NWO lost all of its titles and all of the NWO couldn’t wrestle for three years. That’s just comical. If Team Piper (Piper, Benoit, Mongo and Jarrett, with the Horsemen replacing two real fighters and John Tenta in a HUGE mess of an angle) wins Piper gets Hogan in a cage eventually and if Team NWO (Hogan, Hall, Nash, Savage) wins they get a title shot they get to pick whenever they say so.

NOW we get to the show.

US Title: Dean Malenko vs. Eddie Guerrero

This is due to Eddie costing Dean the Cruiserweight Title last month. Think this one will be awesome? Fast paced stuff to start as Dean hits a shoulder to send Eddie to the floor. Dean stomps a mudhole (Dusty’s word) into Eddie and adds a suplex so he can yell at Eddie a bit. Dean is all ticked off here and it’s kind of awesome. This is no DQ apparently. Eddie gets all aggressive too and is loudly booed, I guess making him the heel here.

Dean locks on a half crab as we cut to the back to see the NWO standing over an unconscious Rick Steiner. At least we didn’t miss anything as Dean has the hold on still. He shifts it back into almost a half Liontamer as we confirm it was Rick. Dean throws him over the top which isn’t a DQ here as we change the rules again. Despite Eddie being the default heel here, Dean grabs the belt for a shot with it and is booed as well.

Rock Bottom out of nowhere takes Dean down as does a dropkick to the knee. Eddie works over the knee with a shot from the top and a hilo down onto it. We hit the leg lock as Eddie controls some more. STF now as Rick is taken out on a stretcher and into an ambulance. The NWO stands behind him and pretends to care in a nice jerk moment. Out to the floor as Dean is in real trouble.

Figure Four goes on and Eddie actually grabs the ropes. I guess this is around the time he turned heel. Dean tries to speed things up a bit and fails completely. Hilo misses but a baseball slide sends Dean into the railing. Eddie tries a HUGE dive but gets sent into the railing chest first.

They chop it out and Eddie gets a backbreaker and powerbomb for two each. They speed it up and do some technical stuff so Dean kicks him low for two. Nice guy that Dean. Powerslam by Dean for two and he hits Eddie with a Frog Splash but pulls Eddie up in a rather stupid move. More technical and speed stuff results in a German to Eddie for two.

Tornado DDT puts Dean down as this is a very back and forth match. Eddie tries to pay Dean back with the Texas Cloverleaf and there it is. Here comes Syxx with his camera because one NWO instance during the match wasn’t enough I guess. He tries to steal the belt so Eddie goes after him. Dean gets the camera, the camera goes upside Eddie’s head and Dean is US Champion.

Rating: B+. Great match until the ending which makes the whole thing about Syxx instead of the great match which is another example of what was wrong with WCW: there was no payoff to the 20 minutes of wrestling because the NWO becomes the focus of things again. Oh well. Eddie vs. Dean for twenty minutes is hard to complain about and this was no exception as far as great matches go.

Piper rants about the main event and saying he shouldn’t have to do that to get a cage match with Hogan. Apparently Rodman wanted to try on the kilt with Piper still in it. Piper is either insane or coked out of his mind. You figure out which. The Horsemen pop up and they all say they’re awesome while Piper makes gay jokes about Rodman.

Psychosis vs. Ultimo Dragon

Dragon is awesome and heel here while Psychosis is still masked and no slouch in his own right. Just a random match here with no feud that I can think of or title mentioned at all. The graphic of course says Ultimate Dragon because WCW doesn’t have much intelligence. Tenay sits in on commentary for this thank goodness. STF by Dragon doesn’t last long as this is all technical stuff of course.

Ton of technical stuff (standard with Crusierweights) results in a standoff as we hear that they’ve never fought before. Tenay is so much better as an expert it’s unreal. Dragon fires off his kicks and it’s off to a leg lock. That lasts a few seconds and Psychosis gets a dropkick for two. There’s Dragon’s headstand in the corner which is always cool to see.

Enziguri sets up a camel clutch by Dragon to slow things down a bit. That gets reversed into one by the psycho dude. Guillotine leg drop mostly hits but I guess that wasn’t his finisher yet I guess so Dragon kicks out at two. We get some weird references to Dusty training in Mexico which sounds like an inside joke of some sort. No gimmick to this match I don’t think.

We hear the story about Dragon being the last protégé of Bruce Lee, which would mean he was a protégé before he turned seven years old. I know he’s good but that’s a stretch even for WCW. Belly to back puts both guys down. Something like a Whisper in the Wind sends Dragon to the floor so Psychosis can hit a bit dive over the top to the floor. Dragon hits a Tajiri elbow on the floor and his namesake Asai moonsault to kill Psychosis again.

Sonny adds in a kick on the floor and Dragon hits a Lionsault for two. Pinfall reversal sequence gets two for Psychosis and La Magistrol gets two for Dragon. Let’s talk about the NWO a bit as it’s super rana time. We get what was either a goardbuster or a botched superplex off the top depending on who you think was in control. Psychosis gets a top rope rana for two and Dragon gets a Liger Bomb for no cover. Tornado DDT (kind of) sets up a tiger suplex to give Dragon the pin.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but the pacing was all off. There really wasn’t a buildup to an ending or a segment where they had anything set up for psychology. Not a bad match or anything but at the same time just kind of there. The lack of story or title aspect hurt it a lot as well. The last two or three minutes were rather awkward also as this needed to be about three minutes shorter.

Here’s DDP who is the hottest thing in wrestling at this point so of course he isn’t on the card. His feud with Savage was just starting which is the one that more or less made him a legit guy in the ring and not just with the fans. Gene asks if Page is going to be subbing for Rick, but that would make far too much sense in WCW so we’re not going to do that. Instead Page challenges Savage again.

Savage and Liz pop up near the announce booth and Savage says he respects Page because his wife is in Playboy. Always thought it was Penthouse. I don’t think it had been revealed that Kimberly was Page’s wife yet so this was pretty shocking stuff. The good stuff is spraypainted of course and here’s Kimberly, also covered in paint. Savage jumps Page and there’s some paint for him as well. They would feud for nearly a year over this.

Glacier vs. Mortis

Martial arts match here. Mortis is more commonly known as Kanyon and has James Vanderberg (Mitchell) with him. It’s Mortis’ debut. Mortis, the guy in skull-based attire, shouts with a New York accent, completely destroying his mystique quickly. Glacier yells about getting kicked in the ear as this is a wrestling match rather than a martial arts match.

Glacier kicks Mortis. A lot. Vanderberg pulls Glacier off of him which isn’t a DQ somehow. Mortis uses his legit innovative offense such as a Fameasser for two. A second attempt is countered into a powerbomb and both guys are down. Vanderberg shouts to Mortis to REMEMBER TAIPEI which was never explained of course. More kicks by Glacier and both guys are down.

Mortis gets crotched on the top and a superplex gets two. Northern lights suplex with a cradle gets two for Mortis as this referee is annoyingly slow by comparison to the guys in the ring. Mortis pulls the referee in front of Glacier’s superkick finisher and gets one of his own for two. Vanderberg gets on the apron and the distraction totally fails, allowing Glacier to hit the aforementioned kick for the pin.

Rating: C. This was definitely the best match they had in their seemingly never ending series. Pretty decent match here as they moved rather quickly in there. The overacting and the lack of anything definitive as far as the story went got really old eventually. Not terrible though and the pacing was good.

Post match Wrath debuts and beats up Glacier.

We see the video of the Outsiders running the Steiners off the road and wrecking their car. You know, because attempted vehicular homicide airing on national television is all cool right?

Buff Bagwell vs. Scotty Riggs

Strap match of the four corner variety here. Bagwell says he doesn’t care if he loses this match on the way to the ring. Fine example of the stuff that’s wrong with WCW right there. Riggs whips him a few times but Bagwell hits the floor as the strap isn’t hooked up yet. Bagwell gets crotched and whipped a lot. Riggs slides between Buff’s legs and the balls are abused again. Somehow that all took nearly five minutes.

Bagwell takes over and mugs/talks to the camera a lot. He literally stops for about 15 seconds to talk at times. Dude, get on with the boring match already! This is one of those terrible matches where nothing at all of note is going on as Buff is clearly going to win and no one cares in the slightest. Buff again says he doesn’t care who wins this.

Dusty says this is brutal. Yeah it is but I don’t think it’s in the same way that Dusty means. Bagwell makes him do the American Males Clap and it’s as stupid as it sounds. They keep talking about a bag of cement as some kind of a joke which isn’t funny in the slightest. This is killing the crowd too. The referee shoves Bagwell down in a comedy spot that isn’t funny. Blockbuster doesn’t work so Riggs whips Bagwell a bit. Powerbomb puts Buff down as does a missile dropkick. Riggs gets three buckles and that more or less ends his offense. Bagwell hangs him and the four corners end this.

Rating: F+. First of all, this was terribly, and I do mean terribly boring. Second, what in the world was the point in this being a strap match? There was no way that Riggs was winning this and everyone knew it. The solution? Give them thirteen minutes to prove that Bagwell was going to win. Weak match and that’s putting it very mildly.

The NWO looks at the Playboy and guarantee victory. Rodman is talked about incessantly.

Public Enemy vs. Harlem Heat

This is for the #1 contender spot which meant nothing because it’s not like the Outsiders ever wrestled. Oh and this is Texas Tornado rules. In essence this is a street fight and the weapons are in as soon as the bell rings. This is one of those brawls where they’re going to beat on each other for a good while until they get tired and then it drags for awhile until we get to the ending.

The white guys beat up Stevie until Booker makes the save. Booker actually gets two on Grunge. Extension cord comes in and Rock accidentally hits Grunge. Various comedy weapons are brought in and this is going nowhere for the most part. Dusty laughs a lot at stuff that really isn’t funny. The guy enjoyed his work to be sure.

There’s a toilet seat in there which is the main focus of the “comedy” here. The announcers don’t pay a bit of attention here as you would expect. Sherri helps a bit and Dusty loses whatever he had left. More weapon shots and choking follow as it occurs to me that Sherri and Public Enemy are all dead. That’s a rather saddening thought. Dusty freaks over a pizza pan being brought in.

Grunge gets crotched as we hit the slow down period. We get a shot of Sherri hitting Rock so we shift to a camera view where we can’t see anything but the ring because I guess a woman hitting a man hurts the southern mentality or whatever. There was a low blow in there somewhere and Dusty cracks up over it.

There’s a purse brought in with some form of electronics in it. Rocket Launcher gets two on Grunge. Sherri gets rammed into the railing and Booker goes through a table. Here are Mongo and Jarrett for no apparent reason. Ah apparently Heat is replacing them. Briefcase to Grunge sets up the Harlem Hangover to end this after FAR too long.

Rating: D+. This was your standard wild brawl that wasn’t really wild and wasn’t anything resembling good but it’s not terrible for a toss your brain out and let them destroy each other fight. It definitely got far too tedious more than once but these can be entertaining if they don’t go too long. This went too long but was still kind of entertaining so points for that I suppose.

Gene talks to Team WCW and explains the rules again, this time saying that the NWO would have full power, not just having the right to challenge for a title. Scott says he has more incentive now, Giant says it’s time for spring cleaning and that his team is awesome. Lex plays up the whole social clash/honor etc which Austin vs. Hart were doing far better at the time.

TV Title: Prince Iaukea vs. Rey Mysterio

This is a rematch from last month. Rey takes over to start and hits a front flip off a springboard for two. This is an extended fifteen minute time limit instead of the usual ten. The same move as he hit off the springboard hits over the top and it’s all Rey so far. The announcers talk about how Rey and Dean are moving up the ladder and it’s so funny to think that’s going to mean anything in the long run.

Prince hits a springboard dive and based on the crowd you would have thought that he ran his hand through his hair. Back in the ring Rey gets a middle rope bulldog for two. The fans flat out do not care. Quebrada (Mike said it, not me) gets two for Rey. Sunset flip off the middle rope gets the same. Rey tries to get the crowd into it and it doesn’t work in the slightest.

A senton (backsplash, not bomb) misses and Prince takes over with his, ahem, REALLY FREAKING BORING offense. The problem with him is rather obvious quickly: there is absolutely nothing unique about him in the slightest. He’s Samoan, average size, average weight, no special moves or anything at all like that. And yet somehow he’s TV Champion. Iaukea can’t get a springboard cross body as Rey counters with a dropkick. The Prince accidentally low blows Rey as things somehow get even slower.

They both try dropkicks and are both down again. Rey gets a headscissors for the first interesting move in far too long. Whisper in the Wind takes Prince down and the clock runs out after about 12 minutes. Rey wants to keep going, Prince says you’re on and here we go. No mention of how long this is as Heenan isn’t sure either. Rey gets a springboard enziguri and drops the dime for two. West Coast Pop is set up but Prince rolls through into a sunset flip to retain. So uh….the point to the extra time was what exactly?

Rating: D. Rey was great at this point but he wasn’t a miracle worker. Whoever thought Prince was worth anything was pretty freaking stupid to say the least. He would FINALLY lose the title about a month later to Regal and then would go away for a good while until coming back as the Artist and win the Cruiserweight Title when no one cared again.

Ad for the NEW show, Spring Stampede. By new they mean not since 1994 when they had the first one. Horsemen are featured in a cowboy thing which is kind of a cool idea.

Team WCW vs. Team NWO vs. Team Piper

WCW: Giant, Lex Luger, Scott Steiner
NWO: Hall, Nash, Hogan, Savage
Piper: Piper, McMichael, Jarrett, Benoit

This is kind of like a cross between WarGames and a battle royal. You have three guys start and go five minutes. Then after two minutes we get another man from each team (Team WCW will miss an entry due to Rick going on and they weren’t smart enough to have Page fill in). It’s elimination style, which means we don’t have to deal with 11 guys in the ring at once. You can put someone out via pin, submission, knockout and over the top.

If Team WCW wins, the NWO is stripped of all titles and can’t wrestle for 3 years. If Team Piper wins, Piper gets Hogan in a cage at a time to be announced. If Team NWO wins, they more or less have carte blanche (Previously they would have gotten a title shot anywhere anytime, kind of like Money in the Bank). They change that back to the MITB thing but it would ultimately be the free reign thing.

Benoit, Hall and Giant start us off. They’re not at ringside which is kind of stupid as you would be able to jump them as they come out in theory no? Benoit jumps Hall before Giant gets there. Not that we can see that as we need to see Giant’s very slow walk to the ring instead. Giant gets in very slowly which is rather smart before taking them both down with a clothesline.

Benoit tries to chop away and it doesn’t work at all. It’s almost hard to believe that Benoit would be world champion before Hall. Basically this is Giant and two other guys in there as he keeps dominating the entire time. Elbow drop on Hall so Benoit tries to jump Giant. No real attempts to throw anyone out but since you can win by pinfall that’s ok.

Sleeper doesn’t work for Hall and Giant gets a huge chokeslam to Benoit for only two. Hall saves, I guess out of fear of fighting Giant one on one. Giant busts out the claw of all things but a corner splash misses and Giant is gone first! That leaves two guys for Team WCW. The clock runs out on the first period and it’s Jarrett, Randy Savage and Luger. That puts five guys in the ring at the moment if you’re keeping score.

It’s more or less a battle royal at this point as Luger can’t gorilla press Savage out. Jeff avoids a Razor’s Edge and here come Mongo, Nash and Scott Steiner. No real effort to put anyone out right now as everyone is really just beating on each other. Belly to belly puts Nash down as we only have Hogan and Piper left. Nash gets a big boot and clothesline to Jarrett and he’s out. Jeff that is. Mongo gets backdropped out so Team Piper has just Benoit and Piper left.

Here are Hogan and Piper so everyone is out there now. Nash gets a big boot to Steiner to knock him out so Luger is all that’s left for WCW, Piper and Benoit for Piper and all of the NWO is left. Wait where’s Hogan? What a shock he’s going to come out last isn’t he? Oh there he is with Dennis Rodman. Piper is on the floor but not out. Scratch that as he’s back now. Seven people in at the moment.

Hogan, Piper and Savage are on the floor with Hogan kind of chilling and Piper choking Savage. The Outsiders beat up Benoit and everyone is finally in there at the same time. Hogan throws Piper through the ropes and they brawl on the floor a bit. After Savage jumps them in the aisle everyone goes back to the ring. In a HORRIBLY stupid looking moment, Piper is sent into the ropes but Rodman pulls it down to put him out. This would have looked passable if Piper didn’t JUMP OVER THE ROPE BEFORE IT WAS PULLED DOWN. And people wonder why they went out of business.

They keep brawling on the floor anyway and Savage helps as it’s the Outsider Edge for Benoit. The tag champs toss him out and Team Piper is gone. Luger is the only one left for WCW and he’s against technically five guys counting Rodman. The NWO literally stands around for a minute and a half posing before Nash sets him up for a powerbomb.

Luger escapes and racks Savage, clotheslines Nash and racks Hall to eliminate all three in under thirty seconds. And never mind as when he goes to rack Hogan, Savage gets the spraypaint from Rodman and pops Luger in the face with it so Hogan can get the winning pin. The NWO won a big match. I’m shocked too.

Rating: B-. The match was actually pretty good as it didn’t really get stupid and for a big multi-man tag, this actually worked. I fail to see why Rick wasn’t out there but still, pretty good stuff. The ending was obvious but it doesn’t ever drag, the stuff they did made perfect sense the entire time and it was kind of interesting. Shockingly good main event.

Now it’s time for the REAL reason to watch this show as the NWO gets out of the ring and STING comes down from the ceiling. Up to this point it was unclear as to which side he was on. Sting drills the NWO with the bat and the place ERUPTS. Scorpion Death Drops all around and it’s only Hogan left. Hogan gets all fired up and Sting points the bat at him. Hogan says he’ll kill him if he puts the bat down so Sting drops it.

Here comes Hogan and he actually gets in the ring. Sting turns his back to him so he can actually get a free shot which Sting completely no sells. Hogan gets drilled and put out with the Scorpion as the fans lose their freaking minds to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Definitely not the worst show ever and by far and away the best Uncensored of all time at this point. The ending is totally awesome as we shift from the Piper vs. Hogan stuff to Hogan vs. Sting which would be the primary feud the entire year. You can really see that the non-NWO stuff isn’t given much thought at all and it’s far more on the wrestlers to do things themselves, which is fine but interesting to see. Anyway, better show than expected but it does drag at times.

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 1, 2011
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

No we’re NOT IN ORLANDO TONIGHT! This should be a nice change of pace and it’s always interesting to see the difference between a burned out crowd as the Orlando fans are as opposed to see a fresh group of people seeing it. We get some more building towards No Surrender and it might be the last night of the BFG Series. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Hogan to open the show and threaten to get in a fight with a fan in the front row. He talks about how the Network has approved Sting’s request for a match with Flair which will be in two weeks on the 15^th. If Sting wins, it’s Hogan vs. Sting (no date mentioned but Sting said BFG and I can’t imagine it would be any other date) but if Flair wins Sting has to retire. He says it’s time for the Network to start bowing to Hogan instead of the other way.

Here’s Kurt and Hogan apologizes for Dixie screwing him over. Carter can never run things again so tonight it’s Angle vs. Sting so that Angle can cut the cancer out of TNA once and for all. Angle says all of Hogan’s enemies are now his enemies. He promised to take out all of the young guys and would be glad to add a veteran to it.

This brings out Sting who does his usual insane stuff. He’s willing to fight Angle tonight because he wants to I guess. Sting is happy to face Angle so he can move onto Flair and then the big prize of Hogan. Once he beats Hogan, the evil will leave Hogan. Sting goes to leave but Hogan says cut the music. Hogan thinks there’s something going on so Hogan is the guest enforcer.

We get a clip of Crimson being beaten down by Joe and having his leg broken last week. He’s officially out of the BFG Series.

Ray talks about being in the Final Four of the BFG Series and says the title is next.

Roode talks about working his entire career to gethere.

Storm talks about wanting it more than anyone else.

Bound For Glory Series: Gunner vs. Rob Van Dam

For all intents and purposes, the winner is the fourth man. Everyone else is mathematically eliminated and I’m not going to bother listing off the points tonight. It almost has to be Rob going but that would make too much sense so I’m not sure. Joe comes out almost immediately and Morgan jumps up to stop him. Joe kicks him in the balls but security sends him out.

After that we’re back to the match at hand and there’s not much going on. Gunner gets a slingshot suplex but Rob almost rolls out of it. Rob fires off some kicks and hits the Rolling Thunder. Here’s Jerry Lynn but Rob sends him to the back which is probably smart. Rob actually shows some intelligence and doesn’t try to go for the Five Star after being on the floor for a bit.

They trade rollups and Rob falls off the top trying to hit the one footed kick. Rob goes up again but Lynn comes back and shoves him off the top, allowing Gunner to hit a running knee for the pin at 4:57. Lynn’s smile is pretty awesome. This also puts Gunner into the four way at No Surrender as the fourth man.

Rating: C. The match was so-so but the point of this is it sets up a few stories and potential matches. I’m hoping they save RVD vs. Lynn for Philadelphia because it’ll guarantee a huge response no matter what the match looks like. I’m not sure I get why Gunner is going to be in the four way but it’s better than some other choices. At least they seem to have a plan here, which is a big upgrade for them.

Angle vs. Sting is for the world title. I didn’t realize that.

All of the Knockouts are coming to the ring for the announcement about Knockout Law.

After a break here are Eric and Traci for the announcement. Eric praises the Knockouts but then says at the end of the day, they’re still women, meaning they can’t stay focused and are always whining. Traci came to him and offered to lead the Knockouts and more sex is implied. However, Traci isn’t in charge. Karen is and Traci is MAD. Karen has her own music which is an upbeat version of Jeff’s without lyrics.

Karen says the difference between her and the rest of them is she’s a lady. They have to respect her as well. First of all, ODB and Jackie have contracts. Dang it dang it DANG IT. Traci will still have a job, beneath Karen. You can form your own visuals on that one. She’ll be Karen’s assistant, meaning servant for the most part. Tessmacher looks at her bad and is threatened with being fired and sent back to the cabaret.

During the break Winter and Mickie had a staredown and Mickie shoved her, resulting in a catfight.

Jesse Sorensen/Brian Kendrick vs. Kid Kash/Austin Aries

Aries vs. Kendrick at the PPV. Kendrick vs. Kash to start with Kendrick moving way faster than Kash. Arm drag brings in Sorensen who hits a nice dropkick and grabs an armbar. Aries comes in for a bit and is out just as fast. The heels don’t seem to get along but they manage to keep Sorensen in trouble for a bit. He hits a foot to each of their chests and there’s the moderately hot tag to Kendrick.

He kicks both of them and it’s off to Sorensen who gets crotched and almost superplexed. Tower of Doom hits as we go old school X-Division. Sorensen looks dead but manages to send Kash to the floor. Aries hits a suicide dive on Jesse and celebrates a lot. Kendrick is like the chipmunk has pneumonia and takes Aries out. Back inside Kash hits a top rope clothesline and a release suplex to set up a powerbomb but Sorensen rolls him up for the pin at 5:10.

Rating: C+. They packed a lot of stuff in here but it was cool to see an old Cruiserweight style match. It advances both feuds but it’s still nothing I’m dying to see either way. It’s not great but for what it was supposed to be, which was just a five minute match to have Aries vs. Kendrick for a bit, this was fine.

We get a video on Winter and Angelina which was thankfully changed around a lot to keep it from getting way too creepy. Now they’re just vampires which is a lot better than what it could have been.

Winter talks to Angelina about having other lives again. Winter promises to suck the life out of Mickie and the two of them will feast on her bones.

Mickie is tired of the voodoo nonsense. She’s going to wrestle tonight, so Winter needs to bring her A-game.

Video on Jeff Hardy and we actually have the Victory Road incident referenced.

Angle is having coffee and Hogan comes in to yell. He wants Angle to come to New York and take care of the Network, specifically saying kill them. Angle isn’t happy. Hardy gets to have a live mic next week. Oh dear.

Knockouts Title: Winter vs. Mickie James

Mickie goes nuts on her to start and grabs a rollup for two. Angelina tries to throw the belt in and gets ejected. Mickie grabs a half crab and Tazz says it’s very hard to get out of. Less than 3 seconds later Winter grabs the rope and is out of it. Great analysis there Brooklyn dude. Mickie has dominated most of this. The jumping DDT is avoided and both grab the other by the hair and slam them into the mat.

Winter tries that spinning slam but Mickie gets some elbows in and a rollup gets two for each chick. A slow jumping DDT hits for Mickie but Winter gets her foot under the ropes. I’m really glad that wasn’t the ending as it would have looked bad. Enziguri puts Mickie down for two. Winter tries to choke Mickie with something but Hebner makes the save. Mickie kicks Winter upside her head and gets the title back at 6:00.

Rating: D+. This got sloppy in some places like Mickie intentionally having to cover Winter weird so she could get the foot on the ropes. I cannot stand stuff like that because it looks so fake and totally takes the drama out of a near fall. I also don’t get the point in putting the title right back on Mickie after Winter had it for just a few weeks but since this is TNA, I’m sure the answer is “GIVE IT MORE TIME.”

Video on Styles vs. Daniels which is basically Daniels wondering if it’s worth it anymore and wanting one more match to prove it to himself and the fans.

Here’s Morgan to rant about Joe. He says it’s one thing to go after everyone else but now he went suicidal by attacking the Blueprint. He wants a referee too. Joe comes out and beats up the referee and the fight is on. Morgan slugs away and Joe goes for his eyes. Morgan escapes that arm drop move Joe has been using and hammers away.

There are the elbows in the corner and a running Umaga shot in the corner. Joe bails to the floor but pulls the tall guy with him. Morgan loads up the Carbon Footprint but steps on the steps too much, letting Joe know he’s coming. Joe kicks him in the little blueprints and cracks Morgan with a chair to leave him laying. Morgan tries to get up and Joe cracks the arm with a chair against the post, trying to reinjure the torn pec.

Robbie E talks to Rob Terry again and is interrupted by Eric Young. They talk about working out and THE TV TITLE WILL BE DEFENDED NEXT WEEK!!!!! I need my medicine!

Styles and Daniels say it’s time for the last match. They talk about someone coming back again but don’t say who.

Hogan is mad about Hardy coming back and tells Immortal about it. Abyss is standing off in the back and isn’t happy it seems. Hogan talks about how the deck is stacked against Sting tonight and implies that he’ll be calling the rest of Immortal out to help Angle in the main event.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

Back and forth stuff to start as they know each other so well. Daniels works a headlock which gets him nowhere. A big knee drop gets one for AJ. They go to the floor for a bit and AJ gets a bridging inverted chinlock (that Benoit submission that needs a name) and a gutbuster/backbreaker combo for two. Running STO gets two for Daniels but AJ hits the springboard forearm for two.

This has been very back and forth which makes sense given their history. They strike it out and AJ hits a Pele to send Daniels flying. The backflip into the reverse DDT is blocked and Daniels tries a moonsault (not the BME) which gets knees. AJ tries a springboard something and falls, letting Daniels grab the pin at 7:20.

Rating: B-. The match was good but the ending was designed to look like a botch and Daniels stole the pin. That’s perfectly fine if it leads to Daniels turning which he needs to do badly. It came off like he won on a fluke, which is he celebrates as a legit win will be perfect. It kind of cut the match off out of nowhere, but that’s what needed to happen. This was pretty good overall and the psychology was on.

Post match Daniels won’t shake his hand and is all happy that he finally won. It’s about time he turned.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Sting

Hogan is guest enforcer on the outside. Sting has blue on his singlet tonight. They speed things up to start and Sting controls, sending Angle to the floor for a breather. Back in Kurt takes over and grabs a sleeper which doesn’t last long as Sting gets a belly to back. Angle snaps off a German for two but Sting grabs the Death Drop for the same.

Kurt grabs the ankle lock but Sting is able to escape. Angle gets all ticked off but charges into a big boot. There’s the Scorpion with Kurt tapping and Hogan calls out the troops, distracting the referee. Gunner runs down with a chair but the referee takes it from him. Hogan uses the distraction to pop Sting in the chest with a chair and that does nothing. Sting Hulks Up but gets caught in an Angle Slam onto the chair for the pin at 6:35.

Rating: C. This was their usual stuff played at fast forward. The problem of the time not being there for the main event comes into play again as this main evented a PPV a few weeks ago and now there isn’t even seven minutes to give to them. Not anything of note here but I guess it advances Sting vs. Hogan a bit.

Post match Sting gets up again but all of Immortal comes out for the beatdown. Anderson runs out with a bat and cleans house.

Overall Rating: C-. It really is amazing how the crowd being fresh can make a difference. They felt alive tonight and the look of the arena was much better. It felt more professional rather than second rate like they usually do in Orlando. Not a horrible show but the wrestling left a bit to be desired, namely due to nothing having a chance to get going.

For regular TV matches that’s fine but for stuff like the main event which is a big match, it needs time to develop which it didn’t get, due to having to cram everything into the show and have segments that just didn’t need to be there, like Hogan being mad at Hardy and the Knockouts coming out for the Knockout Law thing. This wasn’t as bad as some of their shows but it still wasn’t anything excellent.

Results

Gunner b. Rob Van Dam – Running knee to the head

Brian Kendrick/Jesse Sorensen b. Kid Kash/Austin Aries – Sorensen pinned Kash with a sunset flip

Mickie James b. Winter – High kick

Christopher Daniels b. AJ Styles – Pin after Styles slipped off the top rope

Kurt Angle b. Sting – Angle Slam onto a chair

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 25, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s another week closer to No Surrender, meaning the BFG Series is getting close to a finish. Tonight we have Angle vs. Crimson in what is almost guaranteed to have a screwy finish due to them both being big deals at the moment. Also I’m sure we’ll get more from the Hogan/Sting/Flair saga. Anyway let’s get to it.

Also I’m not watching live so the timing may be a bit off.

We open with a recap of the two major storylines in the form of Sting/Hogan/Flair plus Angle/Crimson.

Speaking of Angle, the champion opens us up and is in ring gear. He wants to talk to Crimson and here’s the big man. Angle says Crimson wants to be the big star and wants to be famous. Tonight he’ll face the consequences. Crimson talks about respect and Angle says Crimson has to earn it. Crimson says bring it and he’ll still be standing at the end of the match.

Cue Immortal with Ray saying that Crimson needs to respect Angle. Ray asks Kurt if he’s a part of them and Angle says he can handle this himself. He tells Immortal and especially Jeff to stay out of the match. It’s time to make Crimson famous.

ODB and Jackie talk to Velvet and are partners for some reason tonight. Velvet agrees to have their backs and the other chicks say they could take Velvet out and only the cameraman could see it. ODB just walks off.

The 8/16 episode of Impact was the highest rated ever in England and Ireland. That’s a perk.

Eric and Hogan yell at Flair, telling him to make Sting go away because Hogan isn’t getting in the ring with him, period. Flair says he’ll make it up to Hogan tonight. Hogan says he needs one thing from Ric and that is for Flair to keep his mouth shut. Nothing could possibly go wrong with this plan right?

Jackie/ODB/Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love/Sarita/Rosita

Jackie and ODB are still trying to be all nice to get their contracts. Jackie rolls up Sarita for two quickly as I’m really trying to care about them. Off to Velvet and Rosita and it’s face miscommunication time! After a lot of tagging it’s off to Sarita vs. Velvet in an old feud rekindled. As almost always it goes badly for Sky and the triple team begins in the corner. It’s saying a lot that Velvet Sky being triple teamed by three hot chicks is so uninteresting.

Angelina hasn’t been in yet and is complaining that the team is only working between the two of them. She tags herself in to beat on Velvet a bit more and is promptly kicked off. Since Velvet is there for her looks though she doesn’t take the wide open tag. I guess she isn’t a fan of ODB/Jackie either. Everything breaks down and the unlikely partners tease beating up Velvet in a triple team but save her instead, giving Angelina a double suplex and putting Velvet on top for the pin at 4:07.

Rating: C-. I know I use this term a lot but this was just a six person tag. It’s nothing great but this advances the whole ODB/Jackie thing and possibly starts something with the Mexican chicks against Angelina. If we can get some fresh feuds in there I’m all for it. This wasn’t nearly as bad as some of them have been lately.

Jesse Sorensen vs. Kid Kash

This is #2 vs. #3 respectively but I doubt those numbers are going to mean much for awhile. Kash looks old and Sorensen is a face, carrying a football with him because he’s from Texas. Well I guess a weak gimmick is better than no gimmick. Kash dominates early, hitting a suplex into a release slam.

Moneymaker is blocked and Sorensen starts his comeback with a HHH leaping knee and a pretty sweet dropkick for two. Something resembling the McGillicutter gets two and Jesse goes up. Top rope cross body gets a very close two and I’m liking this Sorensen a bit. And never mind as Kash reverses a rollup and uses the tights for the pin at 3:01.

Rating: C. I liked Sorensen a lot more than I thought I would. The guy can jump pretty well and was trying to play to the crowd a bit also. The football thing doesn’t mean much but it needs time to develop obviously. Kash I don’t see the appeal to as he just looks old. He’s not bad or anything but he’s about as the same as you can be after many years.

Post match Kash yells at Sorensen, calling him a boy. Jesse is all bring it on but he gets pie faced and security breaks it up.

BFG Series stuff with Gunner saying he wants to win it. Roode and RVD say the same thing.

BFG Series Standings:

Crimson 50

Bully Ray 42

Bobby Roode 42

James Storm 40

Gunner 35

Devon 30 (Injured)

Rob Van Dam 25

AJ Styles 24

Matt Morgan 24 (Injured)

Scott Steiner 21

D’Angelo Dinero 17

Samoa Joe -10

Does Joe ever get any matches anymore?

Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. D’Angelo Dinero

Morgan is on commentary because it’s a BFG Series match. Face vs. face here I think and there’s no Jerry Lynn. They’re going fast out there and Rolling Thunder hits knees. Thankfully Pope got his knees up above his chest instead of Rob just missing it which I can’t stand. Forearm gets two for Dinero.

Rob takes over again and gets a reverse bridging chinlock (Benoit used it a lot and their backs are to each other. You know the move) and then an abdominal stretch as he’s looking for the submission. They’re using the psychology here which is good to see. DDT gets two for Pope. Top rope fist drop gets two for Pope but he gets his head kicked off, resulting in a surfboard getting the submission (REALLY???) at 5:00. Rob won if that wasn’t clear.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this and while the psychology makes sense, I’m not wild on it at all as Rob using a submission just looks weird. Why wouldn’t he use the move like that the rest of the time if he can get a clean submission that fast? Not a horrible match or anything but it really could have been better given more time.

Back from a replay and Joe is here attacking Pope’s knee. He puts on a leg bar until D-Von hobbles out (he’s injured and out of the Series) and stops in front of his kids. The kids go make the save but he yells at them and eventually asks for a chair. Joe bails but D-Von did make the save.

Robbie E asks Rob Terry to be his partner/bodyguard. Terry says he’ll think about it and leaves.

Immortal has a meeting about their match and Steiner is mad.

Angelina is on the phone and the Mexican chicks come in and beat her down. Winter makes the save and FREAKS, choking I think Rosita with a curtain cord. The male Mexicans make the save.

For about the third time tonight we see some boots in the back.

Bischoff hits on Traci as she might be doing the Knockout Law thing again. Something important here: all that is mentioned here is Eric is thinking about Knockout Law. There’s no explanation about that or what Traci’s name is, so to someone new to the show, this is kind of confusing no? Eric wants to get together and sex is implied.

Here are Hogan and Flair to end the Sting situation. Hogan says the main problem right now is there’s a problem. He calls out Sting and the crazy dude is here. Hogan says this needs to end tonight because it’s gone way too far. Sting has no fries left in his Happy Meal now. Hulk says we can’t have all this craziness going on and even says he might be partially to blame. From this point forward the company will be run perfectly.

Sting says deal on one condition. Hogan says deal as he’ll do anything. Sting wants….milk and cookies for everyone. Maybe some balloons and a unicorn as well. What about puppies for all the people and some flowers (including a stereotypical gay voice for that one). This prompts some Mr. Nanny level acting from Hogan as he’s stunned. Sting kisses him on the cheek a few times and heeeeeeeeeeeeeere’s Ric!

Flair goes into one of his usual insane moments, shoving Hogan and talking about how he’s the real insane one and he’ll beat Sting up when they fight because Sting respects him too much for the kill. An F Bomb is dropped in there also. Hogan is freaking Sting makes fun of Flair anyway. Sting doesn’t mind going through Flair to get to Hogan because he’s crazy like Flair. Sting wants Hogan at Bound For Glory, which I think we’ve all known was the ultimate end game for the last few months.

There’s supposed to be a hardcore BFG Series six man here but AJ comes out instead. He calls out Daniels who isn’t in the match tonight. AJ wants to talk about the rematch that Daniels wants. He doesn’t get why Chris wants the rematch and wants to know why right here. Daniels isn’t sure if he has it anymore and if he can do it at the top level anymore. He isn’t sure if he wants to be a wrestler anymore. AJ says one more time and it’s a big emotional moment. Daniels wants it at No Surrender but AJ says he’ll be in the BFG Series Final there so how about next week. Daniels says cool.

AJ Styles/Beer Money vs. Immortal

Ray/Gunner/Steiner here. This is Hardcore remember. Big brawl to start and Storm spits beer at someone, just like Steiner does at Roode. No one has been in the ring yet but they don’t have to be here. I think whoever gets the fall here gets the points. Gunner vs. AJ in the ring now and Abyss is watching from the ramp. Dang AJ has a great dropkick. It only gets one and here’s Steiner with a belly to belly.

Roode comes in and gets the Blockbuster for two. Ray kicks his head off for two and there have been no tags at all so far. Now it’s Storm with a kick to the head and a cross body for two on Ray. The former champs hit a double suplex on Ray and SHOUT THOSE NAMES. Roode looks jacked here. AJ wakes up and hits a HUGE dive to the floor to take out Ray. He’s holding his knee though.

Gunner sends Storm into the set for two and Steiner misses a chair shot. Abyss is still lookint down at them. We go split screen which for once is a good idea. The fans boo because as usual, THEY CAN’T SEE ANYTHING. Beer Money is getting beaten down and Storm has a locker dropped on his knees. Gunner, ever the smart dude, walks away as AJ hits the springboard clothesline for two on Ray back in the ring. Gunner comes back and AJ is distracted, letting Ray hit the Bubba Bomb for the pin on AJ at 6:00.

Rating: C. Meh just another six man hardcore match. It’s not bad or anything but it wasn’t great. Right in the middle works pretty well I think. It’s good to see someone move up in the ranks in the form of Ray but I’d like to see someone with an actual chance of going to BFG get the points instead. At the moment it’s looking like Beer Money, Ray and Crimson. For some reason, that doesn’t blow my skirt up.

Immortal sets for a beatdown but Anderson comes into the back in a Hummer for the save. He gets the chain from Ray and leaves Gunner gushing blood. I guess Anderson vs. Gunner or Ray can be penciled in for BFG. Granted it’s Anderson so who knows with him. Abyss walks away. I forgot he was even there.

Mickie rants about Winter/Angelina (not by name for awhile because that could tell people what they’re talking about) cheating and how she’s getting the title back next week.

Now it’s time for some Eric Young shenanigans as he finally finds Scott Baio. It actually turns into a chase scene and Young, in his underwear, jumps out of a tree onto Baio and counts the pin himself. Ladies and gentlemen, the TELEVISION CHAMPION!!! (for those counting, this would be the 12^th Impact in a row where the TV Title hasn’t been defended).

Crimson vs. Kurt Angle

There are some big match intros for you. This is non-title. The fans are split here and Crimson shoves him around to start. It’s almost all red man so far. There’s the cravate which have some knees and a neckbreaker added in for two. Angle finally gets in a shot to the bad knee and it’s time for a break.

Back with Angle holding a weird kind of arm/chinlock on Crimson. Double shoulder block puts both guys down and there’s a suplex for two. The German is no sold and the spear from Crimson gets two. There’s the ankle lock with the grapevine and Crimson actually manages to escape. The leg is no sold again and the Red Sky hits. Joe comes in for the DQ at 10:45 total as you would expect.

Rating: C+. Not horrible but the ending was all they could do. The problem here was that they had nothing else to do. With Crimson possibly looking to be in the main event of BFG and being undefeated, we can’t have him lose here. At the same time Angle can’t lose clean to him so the DQ ending was all they could do.

Joe and Angle have a brief staredown but Angle leaves so Joe can beat on him even more. Crimson no sells THAT and Joe runs.

Mike and Taz run down the card for next week.

Crimson says he wants Joe next week. Joe jumps him and beats him down (with ease) and breaks his leg using a cinder block, the steps and the power of fat.

Overall Rating: C. We’ll go with right in the middle here as there’s nothing too horrible on it but there’s nothing all that great either. Joe was the main focus of this show as it seems like he might be trying to take out everyone else and get in the back door of the tournament, which isn’t a horrible idea actually. I’m hoping they don’t do that as I wouldn’t want the whole thing to be wasted, but I’ve heard of worse ideas. Anyway not bad here but nothing great.

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 18, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Tonight we’re likely to get the fallout of Angle attacking Crimson last week as well as Sting vs. Hogan/Angle. I’m not wild on either story but that’s what we have to go with leading up to No Surrender. Also we should get an answer from AJ about Daniels challenging him for another match at the same PPV. Also there are Bound (get it?) to be be more Series matches. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s Angle segment with Sting and Hogan. The idea is Angle is mad at Dixie for lying about Karen and Jeff. Now he’s going after all of the young talent one by one, starting with Crimson.

Here’s Sting to open the show, chair and bat in hands. Sting stops to roll down the ramp. Uh…sure. He says it was a redoing of last week where he got beaten up. He doesn’t remember what happened but he does remember that he was nervous, as his shirt says. It was however awesome to be beaten up by Hogan, who still has the (cue singing) Eye of the Tiger.

Sting says the fans and he both want to see the Hulkster back in the ring right? He starts a Hogan chant because he wants Hogan in the ring tonight. Instead he gets…Ric Flair. He asks if Sting just called Hogan the greatest ever. Sting is in fact an icon and people ask Flair when they’ll wrestle again. The fans want one more Flair vs. Sting match. There goes the jacket and Flair says in order to get back to where he uses to be, he has to wrestle Sting again. He doesn’t have to win, but just wrestle him. If he beats Sting, Sting retires. If Sting wins, Flair will deliver Hogan to Sting.

Sting asks the people and they seem into it. Flair smells like garlic and Sting accepts the match.

Post break Flair goes into Hogan’s office and Hogan is FREAKING. Hogan wants to know if Flair is on goofball pills. He thinks Sting should be dead and Flair says it’s not a big problem. Flair says he’ll get the troops together tonight. Hogan swears he’ll never wrestle Sting so Flair hugs Hogan and kisses him on the cheek. Ok then.

Bound For Glory Series standings:

Crimson 50

Bully Ray 42

Bobby Roode 35

James Storm 33

Devon 30

Gunner 28

Rob Van Dam 25

Matt Morgan 24 (out)

AJ Styles 21

D’Angelo Dinero 17

Scott Steiner 14

Samoa Joe -10

There are three weeks left and the final four advance to BFG.

D-Von says he’ll beat Scott Steiner and is going to BFG.

Bound For Glory Series: Scott Steiner vs. Devon

D-Von’s kids are there of course. He takes over to start and gets a pair of two counts quickly. And never mind as Steiner gets a rollup and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin at 1:10. What the heck was that?

Post match Joe sneaks in on Joe and beats him up, putting a leg hold on him. D-Von’s kids want Pope to come help him but they jump the railing (security around here sucks) to stop it and Pope comes in late for the save.

There’s an X-Division gauntlet which determines the rankings of the division and #1 contender next.

Post break Joe says don’t act surprised because this is how he does things. He’s taking everyone down with him. He’s going to take out the entire Series.

Alex Shelley vs. Tony Nese vs. Kid Kash vs. Robbie E vs. Zema Ion vs. Jesse Sorensen vs. Mark Haskins vs. Austin Aries

This is a gauntlet match. Shelley vs. Haskins (who looks like Morrison but less tanned and built) with Shelley beating the tar out of him. The first person out is #8 in the rankings, making the whole rankings stupid because whoever got the first two spots have a 50/50 chance of being last. Shelley keeps trying Sliced Bread but Haskins keeps blocking it. They trade pinning combination attempts and Haskins gets something resembling the inbred cousin of the GTS for the pin at 1:56.

Robbie gets pinned at 2:20 (total time on each, meaning there were about 24 seconds between pins).

Ion comes in third and hits a missile dropkick and some nice stuff including throwing Haskins’ face into Ion’s feet (yes that’s what happened) for two. A 450 gets the pin at 3:30.

Off to Sorensen who starts fast but gets taken down just as quickly. 450 hits knees and Ion is gone thanks to something like a spinning DDT at 4:20. This is why I hate gauntlet matches: the pins come WAY too fast.

Nese is in next and likes to attack by running. The rankings are in reverse order, meaning that Shelley is #8, Robbie is #7 etc. German gets two on Sorensen. That same spinning DDT ends Nese at 5:50.

Kash comes in and we take a break. Back with Kash hitting a moonsault for two on Sorensen. Only Aries is left. Moneymaker, the double underhook piledriver is countered into a rollup for the pin at 10:50.

Aries is in last but Kash comes in and hits the Moneymaker to kill Sorensen. Aries comes in and puts his foot on the chest for two. Brainbuster is countered into a small package for two. There’s a running dropkick in the corner and now the brainbuster ends this at 12:20 total.

Rating: D. I cannot stand these kind of matches. Why in the world should I believe that a regular match should take longer than a minute and a half now when something like this had seven pins in less than 13 minutes (with who knows how much it was shortened during the break)? I wasn’t a fan of this, namely due to the speed of the pinfalls which is a problem with these matches in general.

Aries talks about Kendrick post match and the champ comes out to offer a handshake which Aries declines. Kendrick jumps him and beats the tar out of the #1 contender.

Flair is getting ready for a fight. Don’t tell me Sting vs. Flair is tonight.

Sting is pacing in the back.

Anderson is out with two ruptured eardrums.

BFG ad.

ODB and Jackie are excited for a match later where they’re going to get a roster spot. Oh freaking joy.

Traci comes in to see Eric and he hits on her. She has an idea for Eric and wants to be Knockout Law again. In essence she’s in charge of them and Eric makes her lean over so he can look down her shirt. She was in Playboy dude.

ODB vs. Mickie James

Mickie gets her rematch on September 1. Mickie hammers away but gets caught in a fallaway slam. I think Mickie’s hair is blonder now. It’s power vs. speed here and Mickie gets a neckbreaker to put both of them down. They nip up at the same time and slug it out. Some clotheslines put ODB down and a rana is blocked. James is sent to the floor and Jackie wants to jump her but can’t. Mickie gets back in but the DDT is blocked. Bronco Buster misses for ODB and the DDT hits this time, ending things at 5:47.

Rating: D+. Wasn’t feeling this one at all but I think that’s more for my utter disdain for Jackie. I’ve never been able to stand her, namely due to her being so freaking LOUD all the time. Her voice is annoying and I have no idea what people keep hiring her for. Her matches aren’t anything of note and she’s not interesting at all. Either way, the match was dull, namely due to ODB focusing on rubbing her body too much.

Winter and Angelina have a weird moment over the title. Just get them to a lesbian scene already. She says she can beat Mickie. They’re having wine and it looks like it’s got blood in it. Winter calls it orgasmic.

Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. AJ Styles

Lynn is outside again. Technical stuff as usual to start as they feel each other out a lot. AJ gets a backbreaker for two. Knee drop gets the same. BIG monkey flip sends Styles down though and it even gets a replay. Rolling Thunder hits for two. Lynn gets annoyed and Rob isn’t pleased with Jerry getting up.

RVD gets crotched and AJ looks to take over again with a superplex but Rob counters. Five Star hits knees and Styles gets two. They slug it out and an attempt at the Clash is broken up. AJ hits the Pele and Lynn pulls the referee out for the DQ at 5:22, costing RVD another ten points.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match but with only five minutes these two aren’t capable of getting anything going. That isn’t their fault but it’s really just kind of reality. Either way this wasn’t anything special. It felt like a collection of spots as a means to the end of the match, which was Lynn interfering. It’s pretty clear they’re going for RVD vs. Lynn at BFG, which isn’t a bad move. The match wasn’t bad or anything but it didn’t have time to go anywhere.

Rob yells at Lynn post break.

Flair is talking to no one it seems and things start moving around. He says Sting isn’t the Joker and we hear a pipe fall. Flair keeps looking for him and more stuff moves/falls. He calls out Sting but all he hears are more noises. Something big falls and Flair says he’s counting to five and is starting at four. He doesn’t have time for this as he has to go to a bar later. Sting finally appears but someone jumps him. It’s Gunner and Sting rams him into some boxes. Flair fires Gunner and leaves while Sting keeps beating on him. Sting tells Gunner he’ll go somewhere someday.

Time for more Eric Young hijinks. He tries to wrestle some woman and wants to find Scott Baio, again. He’s told Baio is in the Valley and the showdown is next week. Good for it.

Crimson is here and is limping.

Here’s Crimson in the arena and he’s limping badly. He says he used to respect Angle and calls him out because they have some issues now. Angle doesn’t respect him because he’s a nobody. The young talent, built around Angle, has meant nothing. Without Angle, Crimson is uncoordinated and green. Angle says Crimson needs him (Angle) to get anywhere. Crimson says no one in the back disrespects Angle and Angle calls Crimson nothing.

He goes to leave and Crimson stops him. Crimson challenges Angle for next week where he’ll show him why he’s the future and and the here and now. He’s REAL. He’s DANG REAL.

Mexican America says they’ll win the titles next.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Mexican America

The Jarretts are on commentary here. This is billed as the final showdown. The champs take over to start as Jeff talks about Mexico and is way funnier than he should be, especially given what he’s talking about. Hernandez gets a shot in on Storm and takes over, also getting two. Off to Anarquia who gets two off a double shoulder block.

Jeff and Karen are shocked that Tenay speaks so highly of the Guerreros. He accuses Hector of having some cerveza as Storm gets a shot in on Anarquia but Hernandez breaks up the tag. Border Toss is countered into a Codebreaker and here’s Roode off the hot tag. Blockbuster gets two. Angle has accepted Crimson’s challenge. Beer Money hits a slingshot into a DDT on Anarquia.

Double suplex puts Hernandez down and LET’S SHOUT OUR NAMES! Rosita comes in and spits beer in Storm’s face which doesn’t work for some reason here. They go after her and Karen bounces down to ringside. Jeff comes down as well and the distraction lets Hernandez get a shot to the head of Roode with the AAA belt and the Mexicans win the titles at 7:25.

Rating: C. Match wasn’t bad and they really needed to dot he title switch here. Beer Money had held the titles forever and the switch is the right thing here, especially with the Jarrett Mexican Champion thing going on. Not a great match or anything but it accomplished the goal that it needed to, which is really all you can ask for here.

Overall Rating: D+. This show wasn’t without merit but it felt like it was boring for the most part. It’s very hit or miss and the misses caught up with it at the end. Sting and Flair were on screen WAY too much tonight. The problem with that is it takes up from other stuff you can do, like have a match for example. Winter and Angelina are vampires or something (totally more serious than leprechauns right?) and Eric Young is still in Hollywood because COMEDY IS GREAT, especially when it keeps the champion from defending his title in two and a half months right?

On the other hand the Crimson thing was good and you can see the shapings of the next two PPVs really coming into focus. Having Joe do the run-in post match was interesting and it would make me think he’s going to No Surrender, but if he can never get a match how is that supposed to happen? I guess that’s what house shows are for but they’re rapidly running out of time. Anyway, hit and miss show tonight and it certainly wasn’t horrible, but it missed for the most part I thought.

Results

Scott Steiner b. Devon – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Austin Aries won a gauntlet match last eliminating Jesse Sorensen

Mickie James b. ODB – Jumping DDT

AJ Styles b. Rob Van Dam via DQ when Jerry Lynn interfered

Mexican America b. Beer Money – Hernandez pinned Roode after a belt shot

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 11, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the show after Hardcore Justice which last year was the Whole F’N Show but this year is more of an explanation show. Angle turned heel (it seems) on Sunday by hitting Sting with a chair to win the title. Hogan was there also but there was no evidence that he was combined with Angle. It should be interesting as we’re getting close to BFG time which could be rather shaky indeed. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from after the PPV ended and Angle says he took an opportunity which is something Sting would have done as well. We also get some stills from the match which shows Angle using the chair but Hogan not being involved. Kurt is champion now and he’ll take it like he did.

Here’s Immortal including Abyss to open the show. Anderson stays a few feet behind Ray and is the last in line. Ray is the mouthpiece as usual and says that Abyss is becoming a huge disappointment. He wants to know if Abyss seriously lost to AJ at the PPV. Abyss is on thin ice with Bischoff. Tonight there’s a fatal fourway in the BFG Series with three Immortal members and Crimson. Ray says he’s winning the series and winning the title.

On to Anderson now and Ray doesn’t like him. However he was impressed by the beating Anderson took on Sunday. Anderson belongs in Immortal and Immortal can benefit from having him. They need to put their problems aside though because it’s about Ray being world champion and Immortal taking over TNA and all that jazz.

He sticks his hand out to Anderson but Anderson laughs and doesn’t shake it. Ray yells at Anderson for not taking him seriously and the fight is on. Steiner tries to break it up so Anderson beats him up too. Gunner and Abyss get in a shot and a kind of weak beatdown is on. Ray loads up the chain and blasts Anderson with it to leave him laying. Anderson is bleeding and Ray says get him up again. Security comes down and gets beaten up to. The TNA agents come out and Immortal leaves. Didn’t see that coming. He’s taken out on a stretcher as we go to a break.

Back and Anderson doesn’t want to be on the stretcher but he’s taken to the hospital.

Bischoff apologizes to the team for bringing Anderson in. Ray says it’s ok. Eric says Hogan is coming here as is Angle. He doesn’t know what’s going on with Kurt though. Abyss says we’ll be ready. Eric doesn’t like the term we.

Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James

Winner is #1 contender to Winter. The mist from Sunday is now called blood. Oh and Mickie is fine. She tries to grab a rollup like she did at Lockdown. Madison gets on the mat and kind of kicks at Mickie who is just standing there. Now she throws what looked like a bracelet to James and while the referee isn’t looking goes for the eyes. Madison tries the hump the mat thing but Mickie counters into a rollup with a nice view. Spinning seated dropkick gets two. Mickie nips up and the Thesz Press off the top. With Madison’s tiara on the jumping DDT ends this at 3:00.

Rating: C. More or less a squash here for Mickie but when the girls look like this I can live with it a bit more. Mickie getting her rematch is a good thing because she got cheated out of the title in the first place. This was fine I guess and Mickie looked good both from a wrestling standpoint and a looks perspective so I’m fine all around here.

Angle is here.

Robbie E vs. Brian Kendrick

Austin Aries is on commentary. Non-title here I think. Robbie jumps Kendrick while the music is still playing. We’re on a chinlock less than a minute in. Kendrick gets sent to the floor and Cookie steps on his head a bit. Robbie yells at her for some reason. Back inside now and they slug it out with Kendrick winning. He fires off a bunch of forearms but Sliced Bread is broken up. Cookie sprays the hairspray into Robbie’s eyes (referee is like cool, whatever) and Sliced Bread ends this at 2:43. This was fine.

D-Von and Pope are talking and Pope gets a text from someone congratulating them on their match. D-Von congratulates Pope on the win but says if he cheats him tonight it’ll be a beating. Pope says let’s go win but D-Von doesn’t trust him still.

The Jarretts are here with Mexican clothing on.

Robbie yells at Cookie post break and there’s a lot of cursing. Cookie blames him, Robbie blames her, they say it’s over.

Bound For Glory Standings

Crimson 43

James Storm 33

Devon 30

Gunner 28

Bully Ray 28

Bobby Roode 28

Rob van Dam 25

Matt Morgan 24 (injured)

AJ Styles 21

D’Angelo Dinero 17

Scott Steiner 14

Samoa Joe -10

Bound For Glory Series: Beer Money vs. AJ Styles/Rob Van Dam vs. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero

Rob’s left hand is taped. Christopher Daniels pops up on commentary and the match starts after a break. After the break (complete with the mini screen of Daniels talking) he challenges AJ to a rematch from Destination X. After issuing the challenge he leaves. D-Von starts with RVD and it’s off to Pope quickly. AJ comes in in a Lockdown 2010 rematch. Storm is tagged in and tried to steal a pin but AJ breaks it up.

D-Von and Pope work well together, resulting in a two count for D-Von on Storm. Storm goes up to the middle rope and hits an elbow, allowing Roode to get the tag. Spinebuster gets two on Pope but Van Dam saves. Beer Money, being the only real team in this, double teams the best as things quickly break down. AJ comes in with the forearm but D-Von takes him down with a spinebuster/chokeslam. Pope and D-Von clear the ring and set for something on AJ but D-Von takes Pope out by mistake. Roode comes in and a fisherman’s suplex pins Pope at 5:00.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent three way tag here and we get more of D-Von vs. Pope. It’s the same stuff we’ve been getting for the most part but at least it’s something. I think at least. Anyway, the Daniels vs. AJ 9 or whatever should be good if not a bit pointless. Beer Money winning shouldn’t shock anyone since they’re the champions and all.

Angle is up next.

Angle thanks the fans for their caring about the PPV. This isn’t about him joining the dark side or anything like that. He thanks Sting also. This is about Karen and Jeff and the marriage stuff. Someone that isn’t a wrestler called him and told him not to blame Karen or Jeff. There was a third party that caused the divorce, and that was Dixie Carter.

He went to Carter three years ago and was told that she knew nothing of the affair. The third party (the person that called him) told Kurt about this. Carter lied to prevent a media disaster and Kurt didn’t kill Jeff to prevent one also. This is the beginning of him keeping Carter from coming back and he’s going to stop all of the young talent to keep her away.

Angle goes to leave but Sting pops up on Kurt’s riser in the stage. Kurt holds up the chair for defense but Sting knocks it away with the bat. Angle drops down to his knees and Hogan comes out and cracks Sting with the chair. Angle says Hogan was the informant that told him about all of the affair and Carter’s lies. Hogan wears him out with the chair. He throws Sting in the ring (Sting in jeans is a weird sight) and beats him down with fists. Kurt comes in and Hogan raises Kurt’s arm.

Video on BFG being in Philadelphia and how this is the most important show of the year.

ODB/Jackie vs. Tara/Miss Tessmacher

There’s a Tessmacher chant as she and Jackie start us off. Tessmacher takes her down with a dropkick and it’s off to Tara who gets a sunset flip for two. Off to Tessmacher who does her stupid thing in the corner. Tara vs. Jackie now and a side blockbuster gets two for Tara. We get about the fourth headlock of the match and Tara avoids some cheating. Off to ODB now and Jackie won’t let her throw a punch. Tara gets a superplex to slow ODB down and everything breaks down. Jackie and ODB set for a stomping but Jackie says no. Brooke (her official first name now) takes the heels down and rolls up Jackie for the pin at 5:20.

Rating: D. This was either weird or stupid. The evil ones now have to play nice to impress Bischoff or something after being all evil for like two months. Why we’re supposed to care about them is beyond me but whatever. The match sucked, namely due to the girls not being sure what they were doing. Brooke is improving though.

A bunch of guys are outside Bischoff’s office.

The X-Division is in Eric’s office. Abyss is there and is scolded for messing things up. There’s now a 225lb weight limit on the division. There’s going to be a #1 contender gauntlet match next week. Aries sucks up to Eric a bit and gets to stay while everyone else leaves.

Here are the Jarretts in Mexican clothing. We get some clips of Triplemania where Jeff won the AAA Title (which is censored from the show). Jeff says this is all an act or something but it’s real. Jeff needs to learn the nuances of Mexico and needs the endorsement of the Mexican people and for the Immortal Title. He’s gone all over the Mexican cities (his words) and has gotten endorsed. He has the Lopez Brothers in the back to endorse him. They’ve done the landscaping for TNA since 2007.

It’s implied that they’re illegal aliens and their names are Jose and Jos-B. Say it out loud and you’ll get the joke. They’re both kind of short but it may be Jeff’s sombrero. Jeff wants an endorsement but they don’t speak English. They see Hector Guerrero in the Spanish announce table and FREAK, wanting him to come to the ring. Now they only know how to talk about Guerreros. Jeff beats them up but Hector comes out for the save. This was hilarious and one of the funniest things TNA has done in a LONG time.

Eric Young is still in Hollywood and is looking for Scott Baio. I give up.

Anderson, looking like a zombie with blood on his head still, is here again and comes into Immortal’s locker room (complete with lockers) and gets jumped by Gunner. There’s what sound like a beating with a chain that we don’t see.

Matt Morgan comes out for commentary, now out of his sling.

Bound For Glory Series: Crimson vs. Bully Ray vs. Gunner vs. Scott Steiner

This gets big match intros because it’s the last match. You have to tag in this. Ray starts it off but it’s off to Gunner very quickly. Crimson takes over quickly and grabs the cravate for some knees to the head. Gunner takes him down and Ray wants in. Crimson gets up so Ray tags in Steiner. Scott beats him down and there are the push-ups. Gunner uses the numbers but Crimson gets things going and sends Gunner into Ray and rolls up Gunner for the pin at 5:07.

Rating: C-. Nothing here really but the idea of Ray being scared to fight Crimson and the lack of Anderson running in was fine. It was good to make Crimson look good but at the same time it was pretty dull. What does it say that Immortal can’t beat one guy in five minutes though?

Post match Angle comes down and beats up Crimson, mainly going after the leg.

Overall Rating: B-. While there were some bad parts to this, the show overall worked pretty well. They’re setting up BFG now with some big matches it seems. I’m not thinking I’ll like most of them but they’re certainly setting them up which is the most important part right now. Either way, this was one of the better shows they’ve put on in awhile and much better than last week. I’ll even ignore the lack of ANY match reaching 6:00.

Results

Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Jumping DDT

Brian Kendrick b. Robbie E – Sliced Bread #2

Beer Money b. AJ Styles/Rob Van Dam and D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero – Fisherman’s suplex to Dinero

Miss Tessmacher/Tara b. ODB/Jackie – Rollup to Jackie

Crimson b. Scott Steiner, Bully Ray and Gunner – Rollup to Gunner

Hardcore Justice 2011
Date: August 7, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Well at least there’s no ECW tonight. This card looks like it’s loaded up with a lot of stuff that not many people other than the really big fans would be interested in. The main event is Sting vs. Angle because goodness knows we haven’t seen those two fight enough in the past. I’d assume some kind of shenanigans because this is a TNA show after all. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Sting vs. Angle with Sting going all crazy. He seems to like it. Angle is coming after Sting and the title though. Sting needs the belt right now to help fight Hogan and Bischoff and bring back Carter. Sting says he hasn’t snapped but that he just feels good. Angle says that it’s just business.

They even have a sponsor tonight: Direct Auto Insurance. That’s a good thing.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Alex Shelley vs. Austin Aries

Taz says he sees a lot of himself in Aries. Not sure on that one. Kendrick has some weird new music and he’s back in the shorts. Well long shorts but whatever. There’s a big brown thing on the front that looks like a huge patch. Aries is sent to the floor quickly and has no issues with just chilling out there. Well you can’t say he’s not thinking. Not that this isn’t the strategy of almost every heel in a triple threat or anything but still.

Down to a one on one match at the moment and Shelley takes him to the mat. They ask for Aries to come back in but he declines. Alex throws on a wristlock as Aries is getting back in very slowly. And never mind as he’s right back outside. The fans are behind Shelley here. Shelley backs him into the corner and Aries holds him in place there. Not sure why but he just kind of did.

Shelley pops Aries on the apron and Austin is down again. Ah there he is and never mind as he’s knocked to the floor again. They totally botch something as Shelley is suplexing Kendrick and Aries is supposed to catch him but he misses Kendrick completely. Then Austin rakes Shelley’s back…and falls down. No idea what that was supposed to be but it’s booed loudly.

The faces slug it out and Shelley is sent to the floor. Austin pops Kendrick to stop the dive though as Taz calls him a funky looking possum. Kendrick gets backdropped to the floor and hits his foot/ankle on the apron on the way down. Aries sets for a dive of some sort but Shelley breaks it up. What’s good for the funky possum is good for Skunk Boy I guess. Aries sends them both to the floor and stands tall for a few seconds. The Possum flies and his advantage continues.

Back in a Lionsault by Aries lands on the knees of Shelley. Aries is down and Kendrick gets caught in a Crossface. The only non rodent named person gets to the rope. Alex can’t get Sliced Bread but does get a Dragon Screw Leg Whip to put the champion down. Shelley goes up for what presumably was to be the splash but Aries makes the save. I’ve never gotten that: why not let Shelley take Kendrick out THEN jump Shelley so you can steal the pin on Kendrick?

Aries is sent to the floor (film at 11) and Shelley puts that freaky leg lock on the champion again. Aries saves and bulldogs Shelley, putting him into an inverted chinlock (Benoit used to do it a lot). Kendrick vs. Aries now and Austin takes two different feet to the face. Sliced Bread is countered again so they try a Tower of Doom/Mega Sliced Bread move on Shelley but Kendrick falls off the top. Brainbuster hits Shelley but Kendrick saves and hits Sliced Bread to Aries onto Shelley, who he pins to retain.

Rating: C+. The botches hurt this a lot here, especially the one at the end. When one noticeable botch happens it’s understandable it’s ok but two that big in one match hurts it too much. Still though, pretty fun although they never hit that huge gear you would have expected. A lack of dives, the whole point of the division, hurt it also. Still though fine for an opener and nothing bad.

Tessmacher and Tara talk about the brawl with Sarita/Rosita and we get to see why Tessmacher should be seen and not heard. Tara guarantees a win and says “Come on Brooke.” It’s about time she had a first name.

Knockout Tag Titles: Sarita/Rosita vs. Tara/Miss Tessmacher

The challengers (I’ve been yelled at for referring to a Mexican that portrays a Mexican who is called Mexicans as a Mexican so it’s challengers now) look good in their red, white and green flag outfits of a country it’s apparently racist to say by name. Tessmacher looks good in red but not as good as in blue. The challengers’ male counterparts (who are of no apparent nationality or race whatsoever) are sent to the back.

Tara vs. Rosita (loving the white shorts) start but it’s off to Sarita who looks like a freaky Christmas present. The challengers keep tagging quickly as it’s back to Rosita who snaps off a rana on Tara. Tara’s response: KICK HER IN THE FACE. Why mess with the basics? This breaks down quickly and it’s Tessmacher being all feisty. She gets her face rammed into the buckle though and the challengers take over.

The fans chant for Brooke and then Tessmacher. Tazz makes an Andy Devine reference or something similar to that. Tessmacher gets beaten down but manages to grab a rollup for two and a tag as well. Tara comes in but the Widow’s Peak (is that offensive to spiders? Insects maybe? Why not a thorax peak?) is broken up and Tara gets dropped on her shoulder out of a double underhook slam.

Rosita kicks Tara into a cover by Sarita for two. Sarita really likes to dance. Must be a freaky Christmas present looking thing. Widow’s Peak is countered again into a rollup by Rosita for two. Mike keeps calling Tara Powerfully Hot. I really hope that isn’t an attempt at a new nickname. Tessmacher makes the save again and this time, the third time (racist against even numbers much?) the Widow’s Peak (complete with its own chant) ends Rosita.

Rating: D+. They were playing up the power vs. speed thing here but it didn’t work for the most part. In short (or tall. Please don’t sue me!) it’s just boring. There’s no interest in these titles and I see no real reason for this match to have happened other than to get the rematch clause out of the way. The tag titles need to die already because they never had a point to them and the depth isn’t there anymore to support it.

Pope is trying to send out a tweet to D-Von to say the match doesn’t need to happen. If he’s so close to D-Von’s family, why not just go to them and get D-Von’s number? Pope says he’s been a good influence on the family so he doesn’t get why D-Von is mad. It’s going to be intense though because of the BFG aspect of it. He’s going to do the right thing.

D-Von is a submission away from being tied for first in the Series. That’s not right. Like at all.

Bound For Glory Series: Devon vs. D’Angelo Dinero

Matt Morgan is the official analyst for the Series now. I think he has a new version of his theme music but maybe not. D-Von’s kids are in the crowd and Pope says hi to them on the way to the ring. At No Surrender the top four in points will have two singles matches and the person with the most points after those matches go to Bound For Glory. Dudes, just make a tournament. Quit making it overly complicated.

Pope says D-Von is like his big brother and he expect a lot out of him, just like the kids expect something out of him. Their relationship is more important though so Pope is going to do the right thing again here. Morgan isn’t happy because he’s injured and Pope is laying down on this opportunity. D-Von isn’t taking it though and says get up, albeit it in more colorful language.

Basic stuff to start including D-Von getting a hip toss and covering, with Pope holding him down in an attempt to get pinned. Why doesn’t he just tap out while in a wristlock ala Chavo Guerrero? More basic stuff until Pope hits a forearm to take over. There’s a lot of arm work in this so far. Why do wrestling companies keep thinking we want to watch commentators talk? I didn’t pay $40 to watch Matt Morgan talk.

D-Von takes over again and it’s back to the arm. Jumping back elbow gets two, just like a headbutt. Out to the floor and Pope misses a charging D-Von, sending him into the post. Pope gets a chain and hands it to D-Von’s kids. Morgan is getting fed up with the total lack of focus on the match and I’m starting to agree with him.

Dinero starts getting something going and hammers away on the head a bit. Top rope cross body gets two. The crowd doesn’t seem to be all that interested. When you can manage to bore the Impact Zone, you might be really freaking boring. Pope sets for the DDE but stops dead, allowing D-Von to spear him for two. Morgan sighs and is about to growl. D-Von tries a chokeslam (really?) and gets rolled up for the pin. Sloppy rollup too.

Rating: C-. The match was ok, but it’s D-Von Dudley vs. Elijah Burke for nine minutes on a PPV in 2011. That sounds like something off a really bad indy show. This story has been going on for several months now and it’s more or less right where it started: Pope likes the kids, the kids like Pope, D-Von doesn’t like Pope. Are the kids going to turn on D-Von or something? Why would they do that? Why is this getting so much time? I don’t understand it.

D-Von wants to leave but his kids say shake his hand, which D-Von does.

RVD says he’ll beat Crimson when Jerry Lynn pops up. He says he’ll be in RVD’s corner and that’s that I guess.

We recap Winter vs. Mickie James which has been set up for months now but it’s not an X-Division match so it got put on hold. Angelina and Winter are working together because the zombie thing is over.

Knockout Title: Winter vs. Mickie James

Winter’s song is pretty awesome. Mickie and Winter are both looking hot here. Mickie takes over to start and grabs a leg. Kind of an awkward start as they seem like they’re not clicking in the slightest. Out to the floor and some double teaming sends Mickie into the front row. For no apparent reason Winter is all cool with getting a countout. This is what I mean by a lack of psychology.

The only good thing so far in this is all the upskirt shots of Mickie. Winter works on various parts of Mickie, currently working on the back. At one point Angelina comes in and hits her spinning backbreaker. She tries that spinning backbreaker of hers but Mickie escapes. A very weak dueling chant begins. Mickie grabs a tornado DDT to send Winter to the floor. Angelina comes in to try it again but Mickie takes her down. She tries to come in a third time but gets caught, allowing Winter to spit mist (think Muta) into her face for the pin and the title.

Rating: D-. Mickie having her skirt fly up all the time can’t be a failure but at the end of the day this was freaking bad. There was no flow to the match at all and Winter looked all over the place. Also the mist and the three run ins by Angelina were way too much booking. Not very good at all as the Knockouts are really failing now and we’re not even touching on the Velvet was bullied nonsense.

Kendrick is talking about winning earlier when Aries pops up, telling him to shush. That wasn’t a triple threat but rather a handicap match. Until Kendrick beats Aries, he’s not the real champion. Aries gives Kendrick the towel he was carrying and says go take a shower because you look homeless. I haven’t been to Minneapolis in years but I don’t think the homeless there have championship belts.

Bound For Glory Series: Crimson vs. Rob Van Dam

Lynn is with RVD here. The fans are behind RVD as you would expect. It’s a bit surprising I guess because we know so much about Crimson and have so many reasons to care about him right? An early Rolling Thunder attempt misses and Crimson gets a suplex for two. Van Dam starts kicking and there’s Rolling Thunder. Rob is holding his throat for some reason and Crimson adds in a neckbreaker for two.

Out to the floor and Van Dam uses some nice speed stuff to take Crimson down. Taz starts using bad lines to plug the sponsor like “he’s going to need some insurance after that. Better call Direct!” Back inside and Crimson takes over with basic strikes, namely elbows and forearms to the head. Off to a cravate which makes sense with the throat/neck stuff earlier.

That doesn’t last long and Van Dam gets the split legged moonsault but can’t get the kick off the top. Crimson gets something like a Falcon Arrow for two. Red Sky is countered by a kick to the chest. There’s the spinwheel kick from Van Dam which sets up the Five Star to NO reaction. The cover is delayed though and it only gets two. Tenay sounds like he’s ordering dinner when he calls the kickout. Crimson spears him down for two. In a weird ending, RVD misses a spin kick and Crimson hits Red Sky. He covers but Lynn comes in to break it up for the obvious DQ, costing RVD ten points.

Rating: C. Not horrible here but they tried I guess. The crowd flat out does not care about Crimson and that’s going to be a big problem moving forward. The problem is that we’ve been given zero reason to care about him through the form of promos or backstory so why are we supposed to want him to win? That hasn’t been addressed and it’s a problem.

Post match RVD yells at Lynn, saying he cost him a lot of points in the Series. Lynn apologizes so there’s No Surrender for you.

Anderson talks about Immortal being awesome. He curses a lot and makes noises that a 4 year old would make. This is so stupid I can’t comprehend it.

We recap Fourtune vs. Immortal. It’s a six man tag that is happening because they’re factions and we need a match on PPV between them.

Scott Steiner/Abyss/Gunner vs. AJ Styles/Kazarian/Daniels

And remember Daniels has been talking to AJ about something that hasn’t been established yet. Gunner vs. Kaz to start us off and they hit the mat. Kaz grabs a front facelock and Gunner taps. It doesn’t count for no apparent reason other than that isn’t what’s supposed to happen or something. Off to Steiner who shoves Banderas around a bit. Crucifix gets two for Kaz.

Off to AJ as Fourtune is all in black/gold trim here. Steiner is feeling rather colorful with his language tonight. The super best friends double team Steiner a bit and the bald dude comes in for Fourtune. Off to the Monster in a match that doesn’t sound very appealing. Daniels tries a springboard something and falls flat on his face. He does manage to get a foot to hit Abyss so it’s not a total loss.

Triple teaming puts Abyss down but Daniels charges into a spinebuster. Off to Gunner who throws on a chinlock. Steiner comes in with a suplex and it’s off to Abyss quickly. Immortal likes to tag a lot. Daniels rolls through to tag in Kaz who snaps off a rana which Abyss sells really strangely. Flux Capacitor gets two. Tornado DDT sends Abyss to the floor where Kaz hits a huge dive onto him.

Everything breaks down and they head to the floor. Steiner and Gunner set up a table to try to validate this as a hardcore show. Back to normal now with Steiner beating up Kaz. There are the push-ups. Gunner comes back in and continues to be as basic as possible while still trying to be all tough and evil. Off to Abyss as this has been domination for awhile.

Kaz manages to get a DDT to take Abyss down and there’s the hot tag to AJ. AJ fights off Immortal and hits a springboard cross body on Abyss for two. Styles Clash is countered as is Abyss’ chokeslam. Pele puts Abyss in 619 position but Gunner makes a save from a pin. Everything breaks down again and Daniels hits an STO into a Lionsault. AJ goes up but gets crotched and Gunner tries to F5 him through the table. Daniels saves and both he and Gunner go through the table. AJ hits a springboard Pele on Abyss for the pin.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but definitely the best match of the night so far. No tension or issue between AJ and Daniels at all so that was kind of odd. Still though it was a nice change of pace after being bored out of my mind for 90 minutes coming into this. Not a classic but this was fine for what it was.

Immortal yells at Abyss post match.

Ray says there’s only room for one of them in Immortal. Everyone makes mistakes. He carried D-Von around for 15 years. JB’s parents made a mistake when they had him. Even Hogan and Bischoff made a mistake when they let Anderson into Immortal. Anderson is going to get beaten out of Immortal.

We recap Anderson vs. Ray. Basically it’s about Ray volunteering Anderson to face Kurt Angle and then costing him the match. This is a contest over who can be a bigger jerk for the most part.

Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray

Ray comes out first and talks trash to Taz for some reason. He also sets for an attack on Anderson, who I guess doesn’t notice the lack of Bully Ray in the ring even though he would have come out second. Another thing I’ve always wondered: how do guys not get in fights when they’re waiting to come through the curtain? In a cool bit, Ray sneaks up on him and Anderson says into the mic “Yeah I know he’s behind me” and turns around to slug Ray.

After he beats on him for a bit he repeats his name. I’ll give him a pass for the cool bit before that. This might be a street fight but I’m not sure. They brawl around the railing and I don’t think a bell has rung yet. They haven’t been in the ring yet. Ray goes into the post/steps at the same time. Into the ring now and Ray gets a shot in to take over. Anderson takes forever to get up from a pretty normal shot.

Big chop in the corner as Ray has dominated the in ring aspect of this. I’m pretty surprised by that as he’s certainly more of a brawler than a wrestler. Side slam gets two. Ray hammers away and talks more trash which motivates Anderson. It’s about time something did. They slug it out from their knees and Bubba tries the Bubba Bomb which is countered into a DDT by Anderson to put both guys down.

It’s boo/yay time with Anderson being the popular and therefore successful one. Ray starts no selling stuff as clotheslines and shoulder blocks have no effect on him. An elbow does though as does a neckbreaker which gets two. Mic Check is blocked as is a release Rock Bottom. Another Mic Check is avoided but Anderson steals Amazing Red’s double spin kick for two.

Swanton hits for two as Ray reverses into a crucifix for two of his own. Cutter gets two for Ray. He grabs the chain but Kenderson picks him up in a fireman’s carry. Instead of the rollthrough that he usually does though he falls backwards by accident, adding yet another to the insane list of botches tonight. Ray tumbles into the ropes which gets two for some reason.

Ray tries to walk out but that doesn’t work all that well. Anderson is kind of wrestling face here by default, which of course messes up the whole dynamic of him but it’s TNA with a tweener so who cares? Anderson has the chain now which is quickly taken away. The delay allows Ray to low blow him and roll him up for the pin. Not wild on that ending.

Rating: C. The match was good but at the same time it never clicked as well as I think they were shooting for. Anderson needs the exact right kind of guy to get him to have a great match and Ray isn’t that kind of guy. Also the double heel thing didn’t work for the most part because Anderson tried to be a heel but he was cheered because he had to be by default. Not bad but not great.

Hogan and Bischoff are here. Gee how nice of them to grace us with their presence. Hogan isn’t happy and yells at Abyss, saying he isn’t a little cruiserweight out there. Bischoff yells at him too. Ray comes up and asks if they saw that and they don’t care. Immortal goes to have a meeting but Bischoff tells Abyss to stay there. If this leads to anything other than Abyssamania I’m happy.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Mexican America

TNA named them that so don’t yell at me for it. Remember that Roode has a bad shoulder and Storm hurt his back on Thursday. Anarquia complains about not being able to have the flag hang from the ceiling anymore so they brought their own. Roode vs. Hernandez to start. It’s officially Bobby now I guess. Roode hits the ropes a few times and takes him down with a jumping forearm.

Off to Storm for some double teaming. His back is talked about but it seems fine. Back to Roode whose arm seems fine as well. Anarquia tries a clothesline but gets caught in a Fujiwara Armbar which gets broken up by Hernandez quickly. Storm and Anarquia in at the moment with Storm getting a clothesline for two. Storm likes the clothesline as he uses one to send Hernandez to the floor.

Roode tosses Storm over the top to land on Anarquia. Off to Roode officially and he gets caught in the corner of the challengers. More double teaming by the heels follow. Nothing of note at all here as it’s been pretty dull and pedestrian. Hernandez chokes a bit and takes Roode down with a big shoulder.

Anarquia gets a butterfly suplex for two. Hernandez comes back in and walks into the Double R Spinebuster which makes no sense now as his name is Bobby again but whatever. Not really a fair comparison because Taker was still called Taker when he was a biker. Hot tag to Storm as the fans are DEAD. DDT gets no cover on Hernandez. Double suplex takes the big bald dude down and it’s time to SHOUT OUR NAMES!!!

Storm puts Anarquia on the top and smacks him before snapping off a hurricanrana. Big splash off the top gets two for Roode. Hernandez snaps off the slingshot shoulder block for two on Storm. Anarquia is up top and tries to dive onto Storm but Roode shoves him right into the superkick for Beer Money to retain…again.

Rating: C. Match was again just ok but at the same time, what are they waiting for with Beer Money? They’ve already had the longest title reign in the history of the belts and they’ve beaten everyone that there is to beat. Knowing TNA they’ll just hand the titles to part of Immortal but whatever. They need to drop the titles but I have no idea who they could do that to.  The back injury was never touched on at all and Storm looked fine.

Angle says he needs to beat Sting to be considered the best ever. Angle says he won’t lose and that’s it.

Hype video for the main event which is more or less a clash of the titans. Angle allegedly has never beaten Sting which is false but he did say he’s never beaten him without help, so they’re covered. Angle insists it’s just business, which is never a safe line to say in wrestling.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Kurt Angle

Big match intros fill in some time. Sting is in gray which is a weird look on him. Sting grabs the arm to start as this seems like it’s going to be a feeling out process to start. I think they’re going for the big epic match but that’s just not going to happen here. Angle grabs a headlock which gets him nowhere. The dueling chants are already going and Sting’s paint is like 1/3 off less than two minutes in.

Now Angle works on the arm. The gray isn’t working for Sting as it looks like he’s dusty. Sting escapes and works on the leg to set up for the Scorpion. Angle fights back and hammers away. The champ backdrops him over the top and out to the floor as things slow down a bit. Out to the floor for the usual railing stuff. Back inside and Angle grabs a Samoan Drop for two.

There’s a seated reverse chinlock as Angle works on the back a lot. Off to a slightly modified version of the same chinlock after a few quick covers. Sting pops out of the corner with a clothesline and both guys are down. DDT gets two for the champ. Angle pops off the belly to belly for the same. Sting grabs the Death Drop and you would think Tenay was ordering lunch. Actually scratch that as picking the chicken salad would be more emphatic than that.

Rolling Germans by Angle get two. Tenay sounds like he doesn’t care at all about these covers and near falls. Moonsault misses so Sting hits an Angle Slam for two. There’s the Scorpion which isn’t sat down on at all. He finally makes a rope but Sting hits the Splash but the second one misses. Angle Slam hits for two and no reaction from anyone. Kurt charges at Sting in the corner but his shoulder hits the post.

Sting throws on the ankle lock and they speed things up a bit. Angle puts on the Scorpion Deathlock because that’s how Angle matches roll. Here are some more rolling Germans and Kurt grabs the ankle lock. Sting rolls through for two. And there goes the referee due to a misses enziguri by Kurt. Well it IS a TNA main event. Heeee’re Hulk with a chair. He gets the best reaction of the night and sets to pop Sting with the chair. Angle grabs it from him and Hogan leaves. Kurt blasts Sting with the chair and the Angle Slam gives him the world title.

Rating: C+. Good match overall but the crowd did not care for the most part and neither did Tenay. Not a horrible match but they didn’t get going like I think they wanted to. The finishers were never going to finish it and we were just waiting on the ref bump for the screwy ending. Good enough match but Kurt has had better matches in his sleep.

Hogan isn’t happy but he isn’t furious either. TUNE INTO IMPACT BABY!!!

Overall Rating: D. I’m sorry but no. Some of the matches were ok I guess but nothing other than Angle vs. Sting felt like it had any build at all. This show was boring and not hardcore in the slightest. No idea why they kept that name this year because there wasn’t even a street fight or anything like that on the card. Angle as champion will probably last until BFG with a match vs. RVD or something but that’s not exactly thrilling. It feels like we saw this two years ago, and that’s not good. Bad show.

Results

Brian Kendrick b. Alex Shelley and Austin Aries – Pinned Shelley after a brainbuster from Aries

Tara/Miss Tessmacher b. Rosita/Sarita – Widow’s Peak to Rosita

D’Angelo Dinero b. Devon – Rollup

Winter b. Mickie James – Pin after spitting mist into James’ face

Crimson b. Rob Van Dam via DQ when Jerry Lynn interfered

AJ Styles/Daniels/Kazarian b. Abyss/Gunner/Scott Steiner – Springboard Pele to Abyss

Bully Ray b. Mr. Anderson – Rollup

Beer Money b. Mexican America – Superkick to Anarquia

Kurt Angle b. Sting – Angle Slam

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Monday Nitro
Date: September 14, 1998
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Attendance: 12,236
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

Ok so this is a one promo show. The main event is Goldberg vs. Sting, but no one remembers that. This is about one moment, which is the return of Ric Flair. Flair had been gone for about six months, having been thrown out by Bischoff in a real life feud. Flair had missed Thunder, so Bischoff threw him out to make himself look like a big deal and to say that Flair was nothing.

To say this went badly is like saying I watch wrestling a little bit. The fans WENT OFF over this, loudly drowning out promos for weeks on end with chants of WE WANT FLAIR. Bischoff refused to accept that Flair simply was a god in WCW fans’ eyes and there was no way around it. He could be out there in a Hawaiian shirt doing a river dance and singing La Cucharacha and they would cheer him. Actually, that happened at one point and they did in fact cheer him.

Tonight, HE’S BACK. Naturally WCW didn’t bother to let anyone know about this and of course lost the ratings war that night, but to be fair Rock and Mankind turned face and Taker went crazy and Austin defended the title, so maybe it wasn’t their fault. Wait it’s WCW, of course it’s their fault. This is a promo that is considered one of Flair and Anderson’s best ever, so that should give you a hint about what’s coming. Let’s get to it.

The Nitro Girls dance us into the show. This is the follow up to War Games and Fall Brawl last night.

Tony and Larry say Flair might be here and we get a LOUD Flair chant. Now they want Goldberg. They’re rather fickle no?

Tenay is at the airport in Greenville and says Flair might be here. A limo pulls away from an airplane that might have Flair in it. The pilot won’t answer either.

We get a clip of Ernest Miller who is now a heel. Has nothing to do with the first match but whatever.

Alex Wright vs. Van Hammer

Wright is still the same guy he used to be and Hammer is now a hippie. Tony and Larry point out that Sting vs. Goldberg is a PPV match like the idiots that they are. Wright is the heel here, which goes against any basic booking sense you can think of but whatever. The Flock was broken up last night apparently so this might be his debut as a hippie.

We head to the floor and here comes Ernest Miller. He kicks Hammer in the back of the head for the DQ. Ok then. And I’m sure the video aired on him in a TOTAL coincidence right? Security gets rid of him.

Rating: N/A. Just a thing to be a backdrop for Miller. Why did this guy keep getting pushed? I never remember anyone caring about him. I think I just answered my own question.

Here’s Bret, who was hurt last night. He’s supposed to be a face but he’s treated as a heel anyway. He’s US Champion and booed badly. Bret never felt right in WCW at all. Hogan lied a lot apparently, which suggests that Bret is rather stupid. He can’t wrestle for awhile and the US Title is going to be vacated. Bret doesn’t know why he has the title at this point either. Could it be that he won it? Ok….so he’s not vacating it.

Roddy Piper of all people comes out to talk to him. Great to see WCW pushing youth like this with a feud that was done over six and a half years ago. Piper sounds like he smoked about 9 packs that morning and he can barely breathe. Naturally Roddy has had it worse than Bret does right now but that goes without saying. Basically he says to man up and invokes Bill Clinton, drawing a ton of boos (Lewinsky era mind you). Bret wants another chance from the people and leaves too.

We get some pictures from Raven vs. Saturn last night, including Kidman turning on Raven to help Saturn. This was supposed to give Saturn a big push, but since he’s not 40 that never happened.

Saturn vs. Kendall Windham

Windham is Barry’s brother and far less talented. He’s a big old country boy in jeans. Now keep in mind that he’s not like the other 84 country boys in jeans. This is the one that’s Barry’s brother. They just kind of ram into each other which gets neither guy anywhere. Naturally the night after the biggest win of his career in WCW so far, Saturn is getting beaten up by a guy most famous for being Barry Windham’s brother.

Top rope splash misses as Saturn looks like an inept jobber here. The announcers point out that this is kind of weird, which is never a good sign. Larry says Saturn is a down to earth man. Wow that’s rather funny. This is freaking idiotic, and I never even liked Saturn. Windham uses a big boot that misses so badly that the fans LOUDLY boo it. They were booing already but this was far more than that.

Saturn makes a brief comeback and the fans respond. Since he’s young though we END THAT IMMEDIATELY and let the big old country boy take over, because that’s what the people want to see right? A guy that is related to one of the awesome guys that was great ten years ago dominating a young and popular and good worker. That’s basic wrestling people! Rollup for Saturn gets two.

T-Bone Suplex is called a fallaway slam as Saturn FINALLY takes over for a bit. He hits a middle rope elbow which is cool as I’ve always like the way he dropped one of those. Well so much for the Saturn offense for now as a spinning neckbreaker takes care of that. Death Valley Driver, Saturn’s finisher, ends this out of nowhere.

Rating: D. WCW did some weird stuff back in the day, such as hiring Jay Leno for PPVs, getting KISS to do concerts on TV, and giving Kendall Windham vs. Saturn ten minutes on Monday Nitro. This got more time than most Raw main events, while other stuff will be lucky to get two minutes. This was a regular occurrence at the time actually and no one is really sure why. Saturn getting dominated for most of the match was freaking stupid but what do you really expect from this company?

The Flock comes down and Raven yells at them from the audience saying their 24 hours is up and the joke is over. Kanyon is the only one left with Raven at this point. Saturn says they don’t have to be with Raven as they all have talent. As much garbage as he says, he does a good job of motivating them. Lodi tries to go back to him but Kidman stops him. The rest of them leave though, which begs the question of why were they coming to the ring in the first place.

Wrath vs. Renegade

Wow I just watched Renegade be told that he was no longer Renegade anymore. He would wrestle like 8 times a year for WCW anymore, so this would be one of those instances. He has no face paint or anything special at all about him so that helps a bit. They wanted Wrath to be a big deal but that never happened due to high levels of suck found in him, which sadly ended his career. Meltdown (Pumphandle Powerslam, or a solid e-fed wrestling show) ends this in like a minute.

Tony asks who can stop Wrath. That would be the epic power of Rick Steiner.

This would be about the time Raw would start, so here’s Hulk! This was during the Warrior period, which actually drew higher ratings than Raw for a few consecutive weeks. Liz in leather chaps and jeans with a black t-shirt: wow. Hogan complains about Warrior and says little things like living forever, which were huge lines 8 and a half years ago. Hogan actually makes the challenger here and the ring fills with smoke.

That was Warrior’s thing, he could disappear in a cloud of smoke. The smoke clears and Disciple is gone. Yep that’s the whole thing. Hogan makes his own acting look good.

Kaz Hayashi is hurt so Kidman gets his Cruiserweight Title shot instead.

Cruiserweight Title: Kidman vs. Juventud Guerrera

This is Kidman’s first match as a face and he’s far cleaner looking now. Both guys are pretty much faces and both guys are incredibly fast. Juvy dominates to start as we talk about Sting vs. Goldberg. Nice powerslam for Kidman gets two. I’m not sure how much power it had but you get the idea. Tony talks about Cruiserweights going into the heavyweight ranks and succeeding. Such nonsense. That could never happen.

Juvy takes over again and we take a break. Tenay is back when we get back THANK GOODNESS so we can have someone that actually knows this stuff. Slingshot legdrop by Kidman as he controls now. This has been a solid match so far as you would expect. Naturally we talk about Flair and the Horsemen instead of the good match so there you are. That sums up WCW pretty well.

Sitout spinebuster gets two for Kidman and the fans freak, thinking it was over. They’re interested in this for sure. Nice wheelbarrow suplex gets two for the American. Kidman covers, gets two, stands up and walks around then covers again. That just looked odd. Release German gets two for Juvy. Very solid match so far.

Juvy Driver is blocked into a reverse suplex for two and the crowd is WAY into this. Kidman goes up for the Shooting Star but gets crotched. When he was in the Flock it was the Seven Year Itch which was an awesome name for it, especially if you like old films. A missile dropkick is caught into another sitout spinebuster and the Shooting Star ends it clean. Juvy, Saturn and the whole crowd applauds.

Rating: B+. Very good match here, especially for just thrown together on TV. Kidman was something special, so of course he didn’t do anything of note for years. When Juvy wasn’t a drugged up mess he could definitely go and this was a great example of that. Solid match indeed and worth seeing considering it’s about 11 minutes long.

Dillon, Anderson and someone that might have been Flair went into a locker room. They’re kind of messing up the whole surprise aspect here.

Jackie Chan gives us a look at some movie called Rush Hour. Oh that’s coming later after Nitro.

Bischoff throws Eddie out of the company and sends him to Japan. Those two legitimately hated each other and you could feel that a lot.

Barbarian vs. Davey Boy Smith

Let’s get this over with. This is another great example of stuff that wouldn’t be on TV if this wasn’t a three hour show but it has to be so we can fill time. No feud here or anything but just two guys having a match. The commentators say nothing about this match other than “Barbarian and Davey Boy Smith get started.” I can’t say I blame them here though as it’s not like anyone cares about this.

Barbarian sets him for a powerslam and falls backwards, which somehow hurts Barbarian. They talk about the match for a bit and actually stick to it. Davey gets dominated but sets for the powerslam like there’s nothing wrong. Hart saves it but a few seconds later Smith hits the WORST SLAM EVER for the win. They call it a powerslam but it looked more like Smith fell over and used Barbarian as a thing to hold onto.

Rating: F. It’s really that bad. Not only did no one want to see it but the match itself was bad. This is going up against Mick Foley on Raw. And people wonder why WCW lost.

Dillon is in the ring in a tuxedo, promising to take care of Bagwell and Steiner for what they pulled. They announce Steiner vs. Steiner for Halloween Havoc, even though it was supposed to happen last night. The lights flicker and we hear an evil laugh. My guess is this was never explained.

The Nitro Girls dance some more.

We see the winner of the Nitro Party Pack. This was a thing they did where they showed people watching Nitro with their friends and the best (however that was determined) got a prize which was never really explained.

Heenan takes over for Larry on commentary.

Jim Neidhart comes out and the ring fills with smoke again. Warrior is here with an unconscious Disciple (Brutus Beefcake). The NWO comes out and Warrior gets to talk. He babbles on for a good while before accepting the challenge from Hogan for Halloween Havoc. Oh dear. Smoke fills up again and they’re gone. You can kind of see the outline of the trapdoor.

Silver King/Norman Smiley vs. Scott Steiner

Bagwell is with Steiner here, having recently faked a crippling neck injury, which really happened but the injuries weren’t permanent. It’s total domination for about two minutes and then the double Steiner Recliner ends it. Did you expect something else? If so, why? Steiner might have hurt his back.

Hey look more dancing to waste time.

Hour three begins and we talk about an attack on Arn Anderson to mess up his chances of winning an arm wrestling match with Bischoff. The important thing about this: I was in the 4th row.

The Giant vs. Meng

Giant was about 4 months from jumping to WWF as the Big Show. Ok, so I know this looks like a squash on paper and it only lasts about three minutes, but SWEET GOODNESS this was a FIGHT. They just beat the heck out of each other the entire time with Giant not being able to hurt Meng at all. Punches, chops, headbutts and whatever else Giant had got nothing at all and Meng just yelled at him.

Meng hits two huge kicks to the side of the head and Giant is rocked. Keep in mind that Meng is a jobber to the stars at this point and hasn’t had a meaningful match in about three years. Imagine Kozlov giving Orton or Cena a great fight. Meng goes for the Tongan Death Grip, his finishing hold, but Giant grabs him by the throat. In a cool idea, Meng’s arm isn’t long enough to get the hold on and Giant can get the chokeslam for the ending. That was AWESOME.

Rating: A. Yes, an A for a 3 minute match. It’s that cool. If this wasn’t at least partially a shoot, they deserve some kind of award for acting. I remember seeing this match when I was a kid and thought it was great back then. It certainly holds up.

Here come Hall and Vincent. This was during the Hall is an alcoholic angle, which was started by Hall getting arrested for drunk driving. He wrecked 5 cars in this one year alone. Naturally WCW say MONEY in this somehow. Hall stumbles into the ring and drops his tag belt, barely able to speak allegedly. I have never liked angles like this and I never will. But hey it’s Scott Hall so we can laugh at his real life problems right? On a semi-unrelated note, did Hall ever win a big match other than World War 3?

Lex Luger vs. Scott Hall

Luger is NWO red and Hall is NWO white. The Wolfpack theme is still awesome. The announcers say Hall is one of the top five in the world. I thought Hall was the one drinking. Hall does the toothpick throw as we stall for a LONG time. Two minutes in and no contact yet. A wristlock doesn’t work as in it doesn’t go on, but that’s our contact so far. Hall stops for a drink and falls into the ring.

Hey there’s a headlock. A bunch of reversals and Hall winds up in the ropes. Luger goes for a tie up and Hall just falls down before laying on his stomach and won’t move anywhere. Vincent is apparently annoyed which you can’t blame him for. Considering this is a year or so before the Jake Roberts incident, this is all the sadder. I know it’s fake here, but again this isn’t something you make fun of.

Luger yells at Hall to get it together and here’s Eric, power walking to the ring. He says he can’t save Hall from everything and tries to get Hall to leave. Here are Nash and Konnan as we’re having an intervention on live TV. Hall has another drink and vomits on Bischoff. We go to a break to end this.

Rating: F. No. Just no.

And now, to the reason we’re here.

James J Dillon comes to the ring in a tux and a HUGE We Want Flair chant. He asks Anderson to come to the ring and we get the Horsemen theme song, which is just awesome. Keep in mind that this is in South Carolina so the fans are loving this very much. Dillon apologizes for saying something earlier, which I guess was reform the Horsemen or something like that.

Arn says this is what a pop smells like, and tells Dillon to take a bow. Dillon told Arn to be a man and stand up. Tonight is a new beginning for the Horsemen. That’s well received. Arn says that he’s always wanted to be a wrestler but can’t do that anymore. LOUD Flair chant and Anderson says you’ll get what you want tonight. He brings in the other Horsemen, starting with Mongo.

He never really fit with the team, but he always seemed like he was trying. His music was SWEET if nothing else. Benoit, the guy credited with restarting the team comes down, actually in a suit which is a weird look for him. We also meet the newest Horseman: Dean Malenko. He was in the group already, but this was his official induction I think. Arn said he wanted to bring out the other three Horsemen, so this would imply Arn, Benoit, Mongo and Malenko are the Horsemen now.

Anderson says Benoit is the finest in the world today. Dean is tiny. Mongo is all man and very tough and Anderson says he’s awesome. Malenko is told that he exemplifies being a Horseman and Arn apologizes for not getting it before. Arn caps us off and the Horsemen are BACK. Wait he forgot something. “I almost forgot the fourth Horseman. RIC FLAIR! GET ON DOWN HERE!”

What follows isn’t exactly a mega pop like HHH got when he came back in 02, but rather one of pure respect. This is like the retirement night where it’s all about how awesome this really is. It’s a moment. That’s the best way to put it. Everyone is on their feet and won’t stop cheering. Flair says this is real rather than something bought and paid for. Flair says this is still real blast it.

Flair then goes on a crazed rant against Bischoff, talking about how Bischoff says the Horsemen aren’t dead no matter what Bischoff says and no matter what Bischoff wants, this is REAL. And here’s Bischoff to take the spotlight off of Flair again and make it all about himself. There goes the jacket and Flair shouts that Bischoff is abusing his power and that he sucks. This is a great rant from Flair and probably the definitive one from the WCW years. They cut to a break once Flair goes off even more.

Ok, so what did all of this lead to? See, this all started in a meeting with most of the WCW talent. Bischoff, with Flair in the room, said that no one on the roster other than Piper, Savage or Hogan had ever drawn any money. Not Sting, not Luger, not Flair, not Hart, just those three. Bischoff I think honestly believed that and in interviews later, once WCW was closed, he said he’d do it again today.

Then came the aforementioned Thunder taping where Flair went to North Carolina to watch his son compete in a wrestling tournament. Bischoff, believing his lies about Flair not being worth anything, suspended him for no showing, even though Flair had told a higher up that he was going to miss the show and was told he could do so. He wasn’t even booked on it and if he was it was a completely replaceable appearance.

Anyway, what Bischoff didn’t get was that while allegedly Hogan and Piper and Savage had drawn all the money, the WCW fans often only stayed because these guys were against Flair. This led to the huge WE WANT FLAIR chants that the company had to ignore on TV since Bischoff told them not to acknowledge them. This becomes a real problem as for about 6 months the fans all wanted Flair but Bischoff insisted they didn’t want Flair since no one paid to see him.

So then this happens as Bischoff FINALLY breaks down and lets him come back. What happens next? Flair had a “heart attack” on Thunder and was taken off TV again for about a month before returning to fight Bischoff at Starrcade, where Bischoff of course beat him. Flair became the crazed power mad dude that he accused Bischoff of being soon thereafter, making Flair the running joke of the company.

When the ratings plummeted, they put the world title back on Flair, naturally bringing them back up. So of course they took it right back off of him and took him off TV, since it wasn’t him that was drawing the people, but rather….well something that wasn’t Flair. The Horsemen became just a bunch of people that got beaten down by the NWO on a regular basis until it was really just Benoit and Malenko holding up four fingers for a few months until they dropped it altogether, ending it for good.

The announcers talk about how awesome that was, and for once they’re right.

Here’s DDP, the new #1 contender. He’d get that shot at Halloween Havoc which was one of the final nails in WCW’s coffin. We’ll get to that one later and I can’t wait for it. DDP sits at the announce table and welcomes back Flair. DDP is going to do commentary for the main event, replacing Heenan I guess.

Ad for Halloween Havoc, focusing on Hogan/Warrior instead of the world title match. Wow they got that put together quickly since the match was only accepted about an hour ago.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Goldberg

Yep this couldn’t be the main event of Starrcade or anything like that. No gloves for Sting here for no apparent reason. I’ve always kind of wondered why Goldberg, the machine that he was, needed to have a police escort. DDP talks about knowing Goldberg a long time ago which is like BS but whatever. Goldberg is listed as the WCW/NWO World Champion. I can’t believe it’s September of 98 and that’s still going on.

Next Monday is Goldberg’s one year anniversary. He, the world champion, wasn’t on the show at all. Goldberg is listed here as 6’5. According to the NFL he’s 6’2 and a half. I love overhype. Pretty much a cat and mouse game to start as neither can really get a clear cut advantage. Goldberg overpowers him which is a rarity for Sting. His strength is underrated.

This is an interesting match, but why is it on Nitro in the middle of September on the night after a PPV? Test of Strength goes to Goldberg as he has dominated most of this match. Sting busts out a Tombstone of all things and Goldberg does indeed sell it. Two Stinger Splashes and make it three but Goldberg is fine. Spear hits the post and now we’re getting going.

Scorpion is mostly applied but it’s not on very well at all. Tenay: “It’s almost a deathlock at this point instead of the Scorpion.” You know, instead of the Scorpion Deathlock. And here’s Hogan to kick Sting in the head. Goldberg didn’t see it though and the spear and Jackhammer hit for the pin. Hogan jumps Goldberg immediately but here’s Bret. They chase off Hogan and Goldberg helps Sting up to end the show.

Rating: D+. Not much of a match as it’s really just thrown on. This would have been really good if they had more time and a bigger environment and less Hogan but that couldn’t happen since this is Hogan’s show and we’re all just on it. This mind you is a great example of what was wrong with Hogan at the time. The ONLY connection he had to Goldberg was that he said he wanted the title from him, which everyone said.

Sting wound up fighting Bret at Havoc, Hogan had Warrior and DDP had Goldberg. In other words, there was more or less no reason to have Hogan here other than to make sure he was in the last match of the show.  This took away from Goldberg/Sting, which shouldn’t have been on this show anyway, but you get the idea.

Overall Rating: B. This was better than the other three hour one I did recently for sure. This actually was a good show and perhaps even a very good show. The focus here was on Flair, but it should have been. The main event was more or less a waste but what did you really expect? The Cruiserweight match was good, Meng/Giant was good (depending on your taste that is) and the Flair segment is legendary.

The first 40 minutes or so are worthless, but that’s typical WCW. Other than that, this was a well done show but it BEGS to be two hours instead of three. If this was two hours long instead of three, I likely would have watched it over Raw. There was just no point to the extra hour and it started hurting things a lot. Anyway, good show and DEFINITELY check out the Flair moment as it’s epic to put it mildly.