Impact
Date: May 5, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
Episode Title: The Network is Coming

We’ve got two weeks before Sacrifice and things are starting to take shape before the PPV.  The main thing from last week to carry over here is the possibility of Angle’s mistress being revealed.  Aside from that though there really isn’t much to talk about for tonight’s show.  I’d assume some more matches will be officially announced for the PPV but that’s about it.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Network issues as Hogan is ticked off about the whole thing.  The episode is called The Network is Coming.  Gee that doesn’t sound familiar at all.

We open with Sting and RVD coming to the ring and see that Immortal is in the ring waiting on them.  Snow, Diamond and Brown come out to prevent the fight which the fans want to see.  Hogan says that if Sting knows something about the representative, tell him right now.  There’s going to be a representative here next week and he, no SHE will be here to talk to Hogan face to face.

Hogan tries to charge Sting and Van Dam but D’lo Brown holds Hulkster back.  That doesn’t last though as Immortal jumps the agents and the fight is on.  Fourtune comes out to even the sides and clear the ring.  Roode takes the mic and says the usual stuff about Fourtune building the company and Hogan/Bischoff cashing in on their work.  He thought he knew Hogan but this Hogan has no pride.  Roode earns his pay and puts food in his kids’ mouth.  He’s a blue collar worker and has earned what he has.  What has Hogan earned?

Roode references Jay Lethal’s recent release (called a firing here) and says that Lethal was a guy that did what he asked every single week.  I guess that means when he actually got on TV.  Roode says his name is Bobby Roode and things are going to start to change next week.  Nice to see someone get some mic time in Fourtune other than Daniels or Styles.

The Jarretts get Velvet out of the shower and say Hogan has let them issue an ultimatum and she needs to get to the ring now.

Matt Hardy says he was/is one half of the best tag teams of all time.  He’s going to give someone a call and that person is going to come and the two of them will challenge Beer Money for the tag titles.

Suicide vs. Sangriento

Suicide controls to start until Sangriento (means bloody or bloodthirsty) gets a DDT onto the apron.  And of course a random masked luchador is nothing at all like Sin Cara in the slightest.  Sin Cara is an actual superstar in Mexico as opposed to a made up character here.

Suicide hits his usual unique offense which can’t keep Sangriento down though.  Middle rope dropkick to the back of the head and a rana from the middle rope both get two for Sangriento.  Suicide fights back and tries his half breed cousin of the Angle Slam.  Sangriento counters and gets a cool looking move as he springboards off the middle rope (think a Lionsault) but goes backwards into a cutter to end this at 3:50.  Cool ending.

Rating: C. Not much of a debut here but the ending was a fairly unique move which is hard to pull off in today’s product.  Sangriento is probably going to wind up meaning nothing like the majority of the X-Division guys.  Either way though, cool move by taking a guy already on the roster (Amazing Red) and giving him something new to do.

Hogan and Bischoff try to figure out who the representative is and think it could be Flair.  Sting said the one coming next week was female but also said that it was a representative and not necessarily the representative so that’s not a plot hole.

Back with Mexican America in the ring and it’s time for their Cinco de Mayo celebration.  They talk about the history of the holiday which is in memory of the Mexican army winning a major battle.  Sarita calls in the Spanish announce team and say bring their own tequila, which they happen to have.  The team is Hector Guerrero (Eddie’s big brother) and Willie Urbina (not sure on the spelling of that).

Anarquia doesn’t like Urbina because he’s Puerto Rican and not Mexican.  They take him down and Hector isn’t happy.  Anarquia looks a lot like Chavo.  The heels threaten Hector and Ink Inc of all people come out for the save.  They say get out and hold up the flag.  I guess we’re just supposed to forget the issues they were having when Shannon was being a jerk?

Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles vs. Bully Ray/Gunner

Gunner is being pushed as the stopper for Immortal.  Ray and Daniels start but Daniels tags out almost immediately to let AJ fight Ray but the Bully runs off to bring in Gunner.  The good guys work over Gunner until Ray interferes and we enter the tag team formula.  Mickie is defending the title against Tessmacher later tonight.  She gets a title match why exactly?

After Daniels gets beaten down for a bit it’s hot tag to AJ who cleans house, hitting the springboard forearm to Gunner.  Pele looks to set up the springboard 450 but Ray breaks it up and everything breaks down.  The fans want D-Von as Ray gets his chain.  Tommy Dreamer runs in for the save…..and piledrivers AJ for the DQ.  Tommy Dreamer has turned heel and this is a no contest instead of a DQ for no apparent reason.  Ray says good choice and Dreamer doesn’t look happy.  Match ran about 4:10.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here but dude…..Tommy Dreamer?  So AJ is now feuding with the ECW guys?  At least they let Gunner do most of the work as he isn’t that bad in the ring.  AJ vs. Ray could be a pretty good blowoff match if they let them fight.  Other than that though, nothing of note to see here.

Back and Dreamer is MAD.  He’s wrecking everything in sight and won’t talk to anyone.  I’m guessing he wasn’t doing that because he wants to.

AJ can’t feel his fingers and they’re looking for a doctor and ice.  Fourtune thinks this is about EV 2 or something but they’re not sure.  AJ says either they get answers or Dreamer is taking a beating.

Matt is on the phone and Ray comes up.  Ray wants to know how “he” is doing and Matt says good.  Ray says Dreamer did what he has to do to keep himself in this company.  That makes things seem a bit better.  It’s gotten so bad for Immortal they have to get TOMMY DREAMER to help them?

The Jarretts and Velvet are up next.

Winter gives pills to Angelina and says soon she won’t need them anymore.  Winter talks about their souls connecting when they first met which Angelina doesn’t remember.  She’s crossed eons of time to find her again and Angelina will remember soon.  She kisses Angelina on the cheek and says come with her.  This might not end well.

Here are the Jarretts for their weekly continuance of this feud that will not die.  They call out Velvet and say that every Knockout has been a champion other than her.  I guess the tag titles don’t mean anything.  More accusations are made by the Karen who says that Velvet is sleeping with Kurt to get herself noticed.  Velvet denies it and makes fun of Karen like last week.  She’s never been champion but that’s her goal now.  Velvet says she has business to take care of so Karen makes more fun of her for it and somehow makes Winter/Angelina vs. Velvet.

Winter and Angelina come out but before we get going here’s Kurt for more talking.  Apparently the Network has made the main event a mixed handicap match with Angle/Velvet vs. Jarrett/Angelina/Winter.  Is there anyone in TNA that can’t make matches?

Bischoff is ticked off in the back when Terry and Murphy come up and say they can help.  Eric is all ticked off and makes them fight with the loser leaving TNA.

Back and Crimson is looking for Joe with a metal object in hand.

Rob Terry vs. Murphy

They slug it out to start and a clothesline doesn’t really hurt either guy.  Loser leaves TNA/Immortal remember.  Murphy takes over until Terry fires back with raw power to a moderate face pop.  Other than that the crowd doesn’t seem to care.  Half belly to back suplex/half chokeslam by Murphy and he goes up top and a top rope clothesline gets two.  The announcers say loser leaves Immortal so I’m not sure which it is here.  Terry more or less Hulks Up and hits a modified Jackhammer to end this at 3:20.

Rating: D. So?  Really, so what?  I guess at the same time this gets rid of Murphy so that helps a bit.  Nothing of note here as it was just a quick battle of power.  There’s nothing to say here but I guess it lets Terry, who has more potential than Murphy, stick around and have something to do.

Hogan says both of them are out of Immortal.  Ok then.  He and Bischoff keep brainstorming on who the network person could be as they’re running out of time.

Joe is just getting here an hour and 22 minutes into the show.  Crimson pops up with a sledgehammer and says the next time someone is beating Joe down he’ll turn his head just like Joe did last week.  Joe says he never asked for help.  Crimson says stay out of his way or else.  Joe wants to know if that’s a threat and Crimson says take it however you want to.

Knockouts Title: Miss Tessmacher vs. Mickie James

Tessmacher takes the glasses off and bends over to pick them up.  Well it’s not like she’s here for her in ring abilities.  Basic stuff here as Tessmacher does gymnast stuff while Mickie walks her through the match.  Victory Roll gets two for Tessmacher and she fires the worst enziguri I’ve ever seen for two.  Off to the arm by Tessmacher for a bit before Mickie makes her comeback with a bunch of clotheslines.  Neckbreaker sets up a terrible looking jumping DDT to end it at 3:52.

Rating: D. Match sucked, girls were hot.  That sums up the entire match as that’s the entire reason Tessmacher was out there.  Mickie can’t really do much with this kind of opponent, especially with her shoulder not being 100% still.  I can’t imagine what Tessmacher is going to do but she looks good so I can’t complain that much.

Madison and Tara come out and Madison wants a rematch for the title.  Mickie says cool but Tara’s freedom is on the line too.

Brian Kendrick, Generation Me and Amazing Red are ticked off about Lethal being fired and are going to see Bischoff about it.

The aforementioned X guys come up to Eric who is getting coffee.  They want to know what they have to do to get a shot.  Eric says he cares about them and says their solution is to grow about a foot and a half and throws coffee on Kendrick.  So we’re using the Eddie Guerrero situation in WCW as a storyline now?

We hear from Sting and RVD about the match at Sacrifice.  RVD says he deserves a title shot and Sting says he respects Van Dam.  Anything can happen there.  Somehow that took three minutes to say.

Winter/Angelina Love/Jeff Jarrett vs. Velvet Sky/Kurt Angle

This actually gets big match introductions including a slow bell ring.  Winter vs. Velvet to start us off and it’s off to Angelina quickly.  Nothing Velvet does hurts her until a spear puts Angelina down.  Velvet gets in Karen’s face which lets Angelina get up and get a boot in as we take a break.  Back with Angelina working on Velvet some more and a double team suplex takes Sky down again.

Off to the guys and Jarrett blocks the Angle Slam with an armdrag to take over.  Sunset flip is rolled through into the ankle lock and Jarrett kind of taps but it doesn’t count.  Karen tries to cheat and Kurt pulls her in as he pulls Jeff out from the ropes.  Velvet tags herself in to get at Karen but the other chicks beat her down before Karen gets hurt.  Double DDT takes the two chicks down and actually gets the pin on Winter at 8:15 including commercial.

Rating: D. Another weak match here as nothing of note happens as we’re still waiting to get to the point with the reveal of the chick that Angle has so that we can set up a mixed tag or whatever to continue this already far too long feud.  Nothing special here at all and a really weak main event.

Kurt says the chosen one is here next week and isn’t Velvet.

Hogan and Bischoff are still talking about the network guy and their car has “You’re Next” spraypainted on it.  The X guys are behind it and apparently did it with even Eric saying it’s not Goldberg.

Overall Rating: D. Not the worst show TNA has ever done but at the same time there was a lot of stuff here that bored me to death.  The Jarretts/Velvet stuff is going nowhere really and seems like it’s just padding before we get to something.  Again they’re setting up for an Impact rather than the PPV which usually makes for a really lackluster PPV, which is never a good thing.  Everything is kind of in neutral at this point as we wait for the reveal of a network executive, who I’m assuming is the big one next week, even though they left a door open to continue it.  Weak show here after a string of good ones.

Results

Sangriento b. Suicide – Springboard Cutter

AJ Styles/Daniels vs. Bully Ray/Gunner went to a no contest when Tommy Dreamer interfered

Rob Terry b. Murphy – Spinebuster

Mickie James b. Miss Tessmacher – Jumping DDT

Kurt Angle/Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love/Winter/Jeff Jarrett – Sky pinned Winter after a DDT

Impact
Date: April 28, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Queen Clouseau

Impact has had two straight decent if not good shows in a row.  After last Monday’s rather weak draft show, maybe is their chance to have a couple straight weeks in a row better than Raw.  I’d expect more of the same kind of build to Sacrifice as we saw last week, which resulted in some decent stuff.  That being said, let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Angle vs. Jarretts thing last week and Angle talking about his mistress that will hurt Karen for him.  Also we get a clip of the Sting vs. Hogan stuff from last week with the Network.

The Jarretts come out with all the women in the ring, including some women from catering.  This is to find out who the mistress is.  Karen has an umbrella to avoids falling feces.  Karen starts with an older lady from catering.  She says the catering woman is too nice to Kurt by trying to get to him through his stomach.  The girl says really?  She has pot roast to make.  Maybe Jeff can take some tips from Jeff on how to flip burgers.  Karen says Taco Tuesday sucks which ticks off Sarita and Rosita in a funny bit.

The catering lady leaves so Karen goes after Jolene the seamstress.  Mickie isn’t here by the way.  Jolene says it’s her job to run her hands over Kurt to find out his measurements.  Karen throws her out too and moves on to Tessmacher.  She points out that Tessmacher got to the building at the same time as Angle.  “You mean at our jobs?”  Karen asks about being at the gym with Kurt.  “You mean like with the other 25 wrestlers?”  These are the same questions the cops asked Goldberg when he was accused of stalking Liz on the night of the Fingerpoke of Doom.

Time for some racial stereotype jokes for Sarita and Rosita who she calls hot and spicy and rice and beans.  Sarita curses in Spanish and says they’re MEXICAN America, not Americans.  They leave also as it’s off to Madison and Tara.  The two of them and Angle are all former TNA champions remember.  Madison says Tara would lay down for Kurt because she’s a dirty sl**.  Tara spits on Madison and Madison implies Tara would try to sleep with Jeff.

That leaves Velvet as Winter and Angelina aren’t here either.  Karen says that Velvet is at the end of her rope so she’s trying to get on Kurt’s.  Karen implies Velvet is a lacking in a few morals and Kurt has to save Karen from a big slap.  Velvet slaps Kurt and the catfight is on.  Here come Winter and Angelina as Angelina beats up Velvet as the Jarretts leave.  Winter tells So Cal Val to ring the bell as this is a match apparently.

Angelina Love vs. Velvet Sky

Angelina is controlling early as we get a referee and take a break.  Back with Angelina choking away in the corner.  She’s still in the trance as she dominates.  This is a very slow paced match as Angelina has to show no emotion at all which is a decent character twist but it causes some boring matches.

Off to a chinlock for a bit which goes nowhere.  Velvet hammers away but there’s no response from Angelina.  Love chokes away and pounds on Velvet as this keeps starting and stopping.  Velvet fires back with some facecrushers to the knee which the camera is able to cut away from in time to keep from seeing them miss the knee by a foot.  Winter interferes though, allowing the Botox Injection (Bicycle Kick) to set up a choke to end this at 10:20.

Rating: D-. This was one of the worst female matches I’ve seen in a very long time.  It went WAY too long and the moves were missing left and right.  Angelina as a zombie is a cool character twist but at the same time they need something a bit different than the whole stand around, throw a punch every ten seconds and use Winter’s finisher to end this.  Wasn’t impressed at all.

Anderson gets here 26 minutes into the show in a big truck.  He wants his title shot.

Back with Matt Morgan looking for Steiner.  Has he been walking around ranting for half an hour?

Anarquia vs. Chris Sabin

Christy Hemme is announcer tonight who is definitely an upgrade from Jeremy Borash visually.  Anarquia says that next week we’re celebrating Cinco de Mayo.  Sabin takes over quickly to start and gets something resembling a springboard double axe but he injures his knee on it.  The replay shows that the knee bent in a way it wasn’t supposed to at all.  A small package ends this at 1:21.  Mexican America sets for the beatdown but ALEX SHELLEY returns for the save.  If that’s a fake knee injury I’m rather impressed as the replay looked like his knee legit bent the wrong way.

Steiner is playing with a kids golf toy and says he jumped Morgan because he was there.  Lots of censored words here as Steiner says he’d shoot himself if he had Morgan’s DNA.  If Morgan is looking for him he’s not a hard man to find.

Back with Morgan finding Steiner who runs off.  Morgan chases after him and Steiner jumps him and takes over in the war of alliteration.  Morgan gets choked with a stick of some sort and lots more words are censored.  Morgan fights back and chokes him with his boot.  This is your weekly big brawl backstage.  Steiner says he’s sorry but is thrown into a well placed refrigerator.

Sting goes up to Anerson’s truck in the back and pulls out the bat.  Faster than you can say “Mr. Borden you have the right to remain silent”, Sting becomes a vandal on national TV.  The fans cheer for this.  Sting starts to leave but climbs up on top of the truck and hammers away some more.  The lesson to be learned here: use public transportation.

Daniels vs. Gunner for the TV Title next.

TV Title: Gunner vs. Daniels

Gunner is the ace in the hole for Immortal apparently.  Daniels uses his riveting style of strikes to take over but Gunner fires back with basic heel power offense.  Crucifix gets two for Daniels as he strikes even more.  Gordbuster (with Daniels landing on his head) gets two.  Daniels shouts GIVE ME YOUR BEST and comes back with, you guessed it, more strikes.  A running STO takes Gunner down as does a cross arm front slam off the top.  Release Rock Bottom by Daniels sets up the BME but Gunner moves.  Daniels goes face first into the post and an F5 gives Gunner the clean pin at 6:05.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and you can’t say they’re not pushing someone here.  Gunner is something to keep an eye on as he looks good and isn’t bad in the ring.  Daniels is apparently a midcard jobber already which doesn’t really shock me at all as that tends to be where he winds up.  Nothing special here at all.

Here’s Sting who talks about how he’s trying to get rid of Hogan and Bischoff but Anderson won’t leave him alone.  He calls out Anderson who has a bat in hand.  Anderson asks point blank if Sting bashed out all the windows in his truck.  Sting says he didn’t do it.  Anderson: did you do it?  Sting: No.  Anderson: did you do it?  Sting: Yes.  Anderson pulls the bat back and says he’ll get it replaced because he’s rich.

Anderson promises to one-up Sting every time with these tricks.  Since Sting has the power to pick his own opponents, Sting can make this end by picking Anderson for his title shot.  Anderson wants it tonight but here’s RVD to cut him off.  Van Dam says he’s glad Sting is being straight up with him and do whatever you have to do to get rid of Anderson.  Sting says ok let’s do it tonight.

Here’s Hogan who says he loves to see Sting handing out title shots.  If Sting wants a fight then he’ll get it.  Hogan makes it a three way, adding in Bully Ray.  Oh dear.  Sting looks like he’d dead.

Joe talks about Crimson and liking his style with sticking Janice in the back of Abyss.  Joe says the winning streaks they had aren’t the same because Crimson hasn’t been tested.

Crimson vs. Samoa Joe

We hear about Joe being undefeated for 18 months which was eventually broken by Angle.  Crimson takes over to start and locks on a Cravate.  Joe fires back and his strikes, including an enziguri for two.  Nice overhead suplex by Crimson and a neckbreaker get two.  Another enziguri misses for Joe so Crimson tries a suplex.  The key word being try as Joe counters with the power of fat.

They slug it out and Crimson runs into the release Rock Bottom.  We hit the floor and Abyss runs in for the DQ, drilling Crimson at 2:58.  Match was good while it lasted.  Joe looks at Abyss and walks off.  The match is called a no contest, despite Crimson getting jumped.  Shouldn’t that be a DQ win for Crimson?  Black Hole Slam leaves Crimson laying.

Anderson says he doesn’t want a three way but he’ll take it anyway if it’s all he can get.  More censored words here as I guess TNA isn’t PG.

Angle says that Karen isn’t even close with her guesses.  The mistress might be here next week.  It’s no one anyone knows apparently.

Here’s Mickie who says her goal is to be the best women’s wrestler ever.  She dedicates the win to the fans and says it’s because of the fans that the roster can come out here and live their dreams.  Short and to the point.

Ray is talking to Abyss and says Ray being champion would tick off the wrestling world.  He’d trade in his 23 tag titles for one reign with it.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Sting vs. Bully Ray

Borash does the intro here.  We get big match intros to kill some time.  Sting goes after Anderson to start as Ray chills in the corner.  The announcers play up Sting defending the title a lot recently so he might be a bit tired here.  Ray jumps in and gets a side slam for two on Sting.  We hit the standard three way formula as one guy dominates and gets a pin attempt on another while the third guy saves, then another guy takes over.  Ray pulls Anderson off the top as we take a break.

Back and all three guys are in the same place meaning we missed nothing during the break.  Anderson and Ray slug it out with Anderson going down via an elbow.  Sting finally gets up and takes down both guys.  Stinger Splash to Anderson and Sting avoids a charging Ray.  Down goes the referee as Ray pulls the referee into Sting’s path.  Ray picks up the pipe and pops Sting in the ribs with it, saying that was for Hogan.  AJ comes in for the save and Sting gets a shot with the pipe to Ray for the pin at 11:35 total which was probably about 8:00 taking out the commercial.

Rating: C+. Not a terrible match here but three ways are hard to pull off when you have Bully Ray running the majority of the match.  This was designed to set up Anderson saying he still hasn’t gotten his title shot, meaning more of the same for the coming weeks.  Not bad, but really nothing we haven’t seen a bunch of times.

Anderson has the pipe as we go to a break.

Ray says AJ had no business being there.  Now he’s cost Ray a title so AJ has to sleep with an eye open.  Next time it’s concrete, not a table.  Ray threatens AJ’s family and says AJ shouldn’t be here next week.  AJ can’t hurt him because he’s a WARRIOR.

AJ says Ray will pay.

Scott Steiner says he beat up Morgan and that Morgan is half of the man Steiner is.  He makes fun of Morgan for being a basketball player.  Next week Steiner will get him.

The Jarretts say this has gone on too far.  Preach it brothers!

Velvet complains about Karen and Angelina.

Karen says she doesn’t have any enemies so she doesn’t know who Kurt could have.  And that’s it.  No mention of Anderson and the pipe again at all.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t as good as what TNA has had for the past few weeks but it wasn’t anything too bad.  A lack of Hogan and Bischoff helped this a lot I think as Hogan was only here for a quick promo about Ray and Bischoff wasn’t here tonight.  The matches they’re going with for Sacrifice are pretty clear so I’d expect the card to get a lot more filled out in the next week with official announcements.  Not a terrible show, but a slight step down from the last few weeks.

Results

Angelina Love b. Velvet Sky – Choke Out

Anarquia b. Chris Sabin – Small Package

Gunner b. Christopher Daniels – F5

Samoa Joe vs. Crimson went to a no contest when Abyss interfered

Sting b. Bully Ray and Mr. Anderson – Sting pinned Ray after a shot with a steel pipe

Impact
Date: April 21, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Two Horses for Sister Karen

We’re past Lockdown now which means we can move on from some of the stuff we had been building to.  Sting is still world champion and AJ is back.  Not a lot really changed at the PPV which is kind of odd but it is what it is.  Anyway, tonight we begin the road to Sacrifice which doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as Road to Lockdown.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Lockdown including all three major matches.  Jarrett vs. Angle resulted in multiple injuries.  Why do I have a feeling this feud is going to continue?  Karen says it’s over.  We also recap Lethal Lockdown with AJ’s return after…..17 days of being gone.  Also Sting wants to fight Hogan.

Cue AJ to open the show, repelling down from the ceiling into a cage full of weapons.  He talks about Bully Ray and his big return at Lockdown.  The only reason AJ was there was to get his revenge but he’s not done.  He wants Ray in the cage tonight.  AJ rips off his shirt and is ready to fight.  Here’s Ray for his reply.

Ray talks about putting AJ in a hospital for a month.  Uh….not quite.  Ray says that he’ll do it again and do it even worse this time.  Then he’ll go AJ’s house and take care of his wife and kids.  The wife part doesn’t sound that bad apparently.  AJ is waiting in the ring instead of going after Ray for some reason, perhaps due to not wanting to be jumped by Immortal.  Rey comes to the cage but stops early.  Ray has nothing left to prove since he’s already taken AJ out once.

He turns to leave but Daniels jumps the Bully in the aisle.  Daniels throws Ray into the cage and the beatdown is on.  Ray is sent into the cage a few times and takes a Pele to put him down.  Big trashcan shot to the head and Ray is down.  Gunner comes out to try to make the save but is picked off by Daniels.  They fight up the ramp and AJ puts Ray on the table.  Is the rest of Immortal just busy or something?  Ray has a BIG knot on his forehead.  With Ray on the table, AJ goes to the top of the cage, only for Ray to get off the table and head out the door.

We recap Lethal Lockdown and are told that Flair had a torn rotator cuff due to the armbar by Roode.  He’s been hurt for awhile so that’s the angle to get him off TV.  That’s probably the best thing for him really.

Rob Terry and Murphy come out to the cage and run off the guys clearing out the weapons.  They’re here to get payback on Beer Money for hurting Flair so they’re going to take the tag titles right now.  Beer Money comes out and says cool.  The match starts after the break.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Murphy/Rob Terry

The match has started during the break apparently as Roode is in trouble when we come back.  Terry gets a World’s Strongest Slam for two.  There are weapons hanging around the ring as well.  Off to Murphy who works on the back a bit more.  Terry sends him into the cage and a clothesline gets two.  Roode finally gets in a shot and both guys are down.

Hot tag to Storm who hammers away on both guys.  Codebreaker takes Murphy down as does a DDT and superkick to Terry.  Everything breaks down and the AA Spinebuster to Terry puts him down.  Double suplex to Murphy and it’s time for a double taunt.  DWI ends Terry at 4:03 shown.

Rating: C-. Run of the mill throwaway tag match here but Beer Money looked good.  It also advances Immortal vs. Fourtune which helps a bit.  Beer Money is in desperate need of challengers at this point and with various teams being dismantled they need to find some new ones very quickly.

The Jarretts take a carriage ride and Jeff praises Karen a lot.  It’s her night apparently.  Since Jeff is King of the Mountain, she gets crowned Queen of the Mountain tonight.  This is going to trump the royal wedding apparently.  We look at the horses which I guess is what the episode title is referencing.

Hogan is on his way to the ring, pipe in hand.

Here’s Hogan after a break.  He says he’s awesome and wants RVD here now.  Hogan says everyone knows RVD is a few fries short of a Happy Meal.  Not quite as 90s as bad mamma jamma but close.  RVD asks if Hogan remembers the time before he was a heel.  He turned his back on everyone for ratings though.  Hogan says nothing has changed and RVD says now everyone wishes Hogan would just go away.

RVD says he accomplished everything he’s accomplished with respect.  I’m not touching that one.  A leg drop isn’t enough anymore because things have changed, but RVD won’t.  Hogan says RVD has always been a big fish in a small pond.  Uh….what?  As long as Hogan is around, RVD will only be in the midcard apparently.

Cue Sting who says he invited himself.  RVD is a main eventer apparently because he’ll be in the main event at Sacrifice thanks to the Network.  Hogan: “Are you high too Stinger?  Because if you are give me some!”  Apparently the Network says that Sting gets to pick his opponents now.  Hogan says he runs the show but Sting says the executives are coming soon.  Hogan says RVD has a problem tonight against Abyss with Hogan in Abyss’ corner.  Also Sting vs. Matt Hardy as a chance for revenge for Matt’s brother.  No word on if the main event is a title match.

Kurt is looking for the Jarretts and someone saw them in the parking lot.

Madison and Tara argue in the back because it’s apparently Tara’s fault Madison lost the title.  There’s a Knockouts Tag Title match tonight also.

Eric is feeding the horses which he names Mongo and Sid, apparently the best Horsemen of all time.  I give up.  Young is feeding them beans.  Angle says go get some buckets.  Kurt has evil ideas about buckets apparently.

Knockouts Tag Titles: Sarita/Rosita vs. Madison Rayne/Tara

Matt vs. Sting is for the title apparently.  Mexican America looks like they want to let the flag come down but it doesn’t show up.  Anarquia runs down America a bit.  Ah there’s the flag.  The match starts after the break.  Just like earlier we come back with the match in progress.  Tara slaps Madison on the arm to tag her and they almost come to blows.  Sarita dances and hits a dropkick.

Madison slams her into the mat and adds a big boot so she can yell at both chicks again.  Now she yells at Tara.  Some of you might be noticing a pattern here.  The guys distract the referee so Rosita can throw Madison into a clothesline to end this at 1:54 shown.  Yes, Madison kept the Knockout Title for 6 months and here she loses to a clothesline.  Too short to grade.

Time for Karen to be crowned.  Jeff talks about how awesome Karen is for awhile.  They’re both in pure white too.  She’s officially the Queen of the Mountain.  And of course there’s manure in the crown.  Kurt comes out and hits an Angle Slam on Jarrett to a chair.  Angle says he has a mistress that will hurt Karen for him and she’ll be here soon.

Hogan gives Abyss a pep talk in the back.  Hogan goes over to Anderson and asks if Anderson knows who the Network person is.  Anderson makes fun of Hogan, saying that this has to be a rib.  Hogan says Anderson is the only person that he hates in wrestling and he hates being in the same room with him.  Then why does Hogan keep going to talk to him?  Hogan says if this was about 10 years ago this would end differently for Anderson.  Anderson says he’s bored so he has to go annoy someone else.

Back and we recap what we just saw.  The manure came from the ceiling, not out of the crown.  I thought there was a lot of it to fit in the crown.

Abyss vs. Rob Van Dam

They start the brawl almost immediately and Abyss goes down.  Big boot puts RVD down and we hit the neck crank almost immediately.  This is far more of a brawl than a match which is what it should be.  RVD lands a kick which apparently knocked out two of Abyss’ teeth.  RVD makes his comeback and Hogan distracts the referee.  It’s a ruse though for him to slide the pipe in to Abyss who pops Van Dam in the ribs with it.  Black Hole Slam ends this at 3:51.

Rating: C. Just a quick match here to set up the post match stuff.  I believe this is the first time since the attack with Janice in the fall/summer of last year but I’m not sure.  Either way, nothing too bad here but it was way too short to be great.  Granted if it hadn’t been we couldn’t have shown Karen having horse manure dropped on her head again so they clearly made the right choice.

Hogan and Abyss set to attack RVD but Crimson makes the save.

Sting says he can’t wait to wrestle because that’s what he does.

Matt has Jeff’s title belt and we reference him a bit.  Matt is COLD BLOODED!

Here’s Matt Morgan to talk about wanting the world title.  He’s tired of waiting and wants the title right now.  Cue Scott Steiner of all people.  He talks about Morgan being the DNA of TNA.  If Steiner had Morgan’s DNA he’d kill himself then hang himself.  The line for world title shots starts behind Steiner apparently.  Steiner says Morgan is beneath him, just like Morgan’s girlfriend was last night.

Morgan says Steiner was an inspiration to him and talks about Steiner bringing athleticism back to this art form.  Don’t misinterpret the respect for weakness though because there’s nothing weak on him.  They make the obvious match.  They shake hands and Steiner kicks him low.  Steiner Recliner goes on and Morgan is left laying.

Tessmacher is back.  Ok then.

Velvet and Winter have their usual moment of the week.  Velvet is going to go to the authorities with this.  Angelina destroys her.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Sting

Matt has Jeff’s world title, making it the third world title belt currently being worn by someone in TNA.  Immortal is waiting on Sting in the aisle but Fourtune runs out for the save.  Sting never got touched if that’s not clear.  As Sting gets in the ring, Gunner gets a shot to the knee with a pipe.  Matt takes over on a one legged Sting and a second rope leg drop gets two.

Moonsault misses though as Sting manages to roll out of the way.  Scorpion is attempted but Matt kicks him off at the last second so he can go after the knee again.  Chop block gets two.  We take a break with Sting avoiding an elbow drop.  Back with Matt working over Sting who is in the t-shirt again this week.  The injured leg has changed to the right one now but I guess left and right is hard to keep track of.  Back to the left one now.  Sting makes a comeback but misses the Splash.  Hot shot into snake eyes sets up the Scorpion Death Drop to keep Sting’s title at 9:30 total.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here for the most part as Matt was just a midcard guy getting a title shot.  I like that actually as it allows you to have both guys lose nothing.  Sting beats a guy he’s supposed to beat and Matt loses nothing because he shouldn’t beat Sting.  The leg work stuff was fine too as it added a little story to the match.  Not bad at all here which was a nice surprise.

Anderson comes out and hits Mic Checks on both guys, saying to Sting that he’s not going away yet.

Karen FREAKS over the Angle thing and yells at Jeff even though he can barely move.  Jeff wants to know how many times he has to beat Angle.  Karen is REALLY annoying here, which she’s supposed to be.

Hogan says Anderson is done.  He says the Network is coming at him like a double fisted kangaroo.  Has he been chilling with JR or something?

Anderson says they had that coming to them.

Sting says who cares about whatever happens as all that matters is what Anderson did.  He wants revenge.

Overall Rating: C. I liked this again for the most part.  They were kind of in a holding pattern here which is perfectly fine.  Something that you notice about TNA is that there are a lot of people that miss the show some weeks because of a lack of time to fit everyone in, such as Mickie, Pope and Joe.  That’s not a bad thing as they do what they have to do with just two hours a week but it’s something that becomes a bit of an issue as it can get hard to keep up with stories.

No Bischoff this week which helped a lot.  Too many authority figures hurts things a lot and that’s a problem TNA needs to address.  You have Hogan, Bischoff and the Network plus various people making matches at a whim it seems.  Sting vs. Van Dam is fine for a PPV main event and it helps a lot here to see a random world title match that made a bit of sense.  More wrestling please though.

Results

Beer Money b. Rob Terry/Murphy – DWI to Terry

Rosita/Sarita b. Madison Rayne/Tara – Clothesline to Rayne

Abyss b. Rob Van Dam – Black Hole Slam

Sting b. Matt Hardy – Scorpion Death Drop

Lockdown 2011
Date: April 17, 2011
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We’ve finally arrived here at the second biggest show of the year for TNA.  The main event is the world title triple threat with Sting vs. Anderson vs. RVD in something eerily similar to what happened on 10-10-10.  As you probably know, the catch here is that every match is in a cage.  I had a chance to go to this but after the mess that was Victory Road I passed.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the main three matches: the title match, Lethal Lockdown and Kurt vs. Jeff.  I really hope the last of those three ends tonight.  There’s a theme of blood in the video which I think we’ll see a lot of tonight.

Chris Sabin vs. Robbie E vs. Jeremy Buck vs. Max Buck vs. Amazing Red vs. Jay Lethal vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Suicide

Winner is #1 contender.  Pin/submission until we get down to two and then it’s escape.  This is the Xscape match.  Get it?  The guys have to tag in and out here which is actually a big upgrade in this.  I’m not going to try to keep track of who is in there and what is going on, at least not at the beginning.  Jeremy vs. Lethal at the moment with Lethal in control.  Lethal Combination puts Jeremy down but it’s off to Max and Suicide.

GOOD NIGHT Cookie is loud.  Robbie comes in and goes after the arm of Suicide….getting the pin with it.  Well that was unexpected.  The fans boo loudly at that and it’s Jersey vs. Jersey.  Robbie tags out to Sabin and both guys get beaten down.  Shelley is back soon apparently.  Sabin and Lethal have a nice crisp sequence and Red makes a blind tag.  Missile dropkick to Sabin but Red can’t kick Lethal.  Handspring elbow is blocked and Red grabs a sunset bomb out of nowhere to get us down to six.

If you’re confused, Lethal and Suicide are out and the Bucks, Sabin, Red, Robbie and Kendrick are left.  Red is tossed into the air and lands on the top.  The flippies can’t save him though as Cradle Shock (love that move) and a big running clothesline get us down to five.  Max comes in and if it sounds like this is in fast forward it’s more or less because it is.  Kendrick is sitting down bobbing his head back and forth as usual.

Max rolls up Sabin to put him out and it’s off to Kendrick.  He has a robe on and Robbie runs him over.  Both guys go out after Kendrick hits a big old cross body and it’s time for Buck vs. Buck.  Jeremy GOES OFF on Max, ramming him into the cage multiple times and getting a Trouble in Paradise kick.  Multiple right hands follow and Max grabs a CHEAP rollup to put Jeremy out.  I’ve never heard a crowd so quiet for a pin in my life.

Final three are Max Buck, Kendrick and Robbie.  The two heels lawn dart Kendrick into the cage which wakes him up somehow.  He massacres both guys with a ton of kicks and various other offense.  A big kick puts Robbie out and we’re down to Max vs. Kendrick, escape to win.  Kendrick tries to climb out but gets caught, allowing Max to take over for a bit.  Max rams Kendrick in a bunch of times which doesn’t seem to hurt him.  They fight on the top rope with Kendrick shoving him off and going up.  Max shoves the referee into Kendrick to knock him down and climbs out in record time to end it.  Totally wrong winner.

Rating: C. Match went too long here and the crowd is thoroughly killed because of it.  Not a bad match but the problem again is that this takes too long to get through seven different eliminations.  It could have been worse but at the same time they didn’t have a huge spotfest which is what a match like this is supposed to be.  Not bad, but not what it should have been.

The announcers run down the card but gets cut off by Bischoff who is in a t-shirt and jeans which is a rare look for him.  His arms are bulging out of the shirt.  Tenay and Taz bicker like an old married couple over the first bit of Eric’s talking.  He says he’s going to tell us why he’s here in a few minutes.  People come up to him and ask him what matters most about this business and he’s going to tell us.  Great heat on Bischoff here.

Tonight is special because Immortal is going to take care of Fourtune.  The fans chant WE WANT WRESTLING and I agree.  Bischoff sucks up to Hogan (big pop for his name) who is going to get the world title back in his grasp.  Bischoff gets to play a small role in that and that is all that matters to him.  Total waste of about 7 minutes which I’m sure if foreshadowing to something.

Steiner and Crimson are getting ready and Crimson says he’s glad Scott is watching his back.  Steiner rambles incoherently of course.

Ink Inc vs. Scott Steiner/Crimson vs. Orlando Jordan/Eric Young vs. British Invasion

Jordan’s outfit of the night is a Tarzan leopard print kind of deal.  I think this is one fall to a finish.  Young vs. Neal to start us off with Young immediately trying to escape which isn’t an option for winning.  Neal with some arm drags followed by Young with an arm drag leading to a standoff.  Moore comes in and takes over with basic heel stuff.

Williams and Jordan get tags at the same time and it’s off to Magnus very quickly.  Jordan does various dirty things to Magnus while beating both Brits up.  Off to Neal again as this is moving too fast, namely due to having too many people in the match again.  The Brits beat down Neal for a bit and a double back elbow gets two.  Double neckbreaker gets no count as Moore makes the save.

The crowd wants Steiner so we keep going with Neal vs. Magnus because the crowd wasn’t quite dead enough.  Neal breaks free and tags Crimson when he was wide open to tag either.  After Crimson beats on Williams for a bit we FINALLY get Steiner and a roar.  Steiner cleans house with his traditional stuff, including belly to bellies all around.  He goes for the pin on Williams but Moore distracts him.

Young tries to jump Steiner and Crimson is fine with his partner fighting off four or five guys.  Shannon makes a blind tag to bring himself in.  He dances around Scott and then chokes away in the corner.  Young takes his pants off to reveal some tiny tiger print tights.  And so much for that as a jumping back elbow takes him down.

Everything breaks down as Moore hits a moonsault press to Williams, Young hits the Gender Bender to Young, Crimson hits Red Alert to Jordan, Magnus hits….something like a Michinoku Driver to Jordan, Steiner hits a t-bone on Magnus, Young hits a missile dropkick to Steiner….and then tries to escape again.  Rolling Chaos to Moore is blocked and the Mooregasm ends Williams and gives Ink Inc the win.  I give up.

Rating: D. Dudes, I beg of you: GIVE THE FANS SOMETHING TO CHEER FOR!  Steiner was over beyond belief and was in the match for all of a minute.  The opening 45 minutes of this show should be a lesson in how to kill a crowd.  Nothing has been interesting and the best match has been ok at best.  Well done TNA: you’ve proven me right so far.

Madison tells Tara to stay in the back for the match tonight.

We recap Madison vs. Mickie.  Basically Madison has been champion forever and beat Mickie earlier in the year.  This is title vs. hair.  Madison and Tara ran Mickie down with a motorcycle so Mickie’s shoulder is hurt.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Mickie’s shoulder is taped and Madison can’t get her tiara off.  At least the girls both look great.  Mickie jumps Madison as the bell rings and sends her into the cage three times within the first twenty seconds.  Jumping DDT and we’re done in 30 seconds.

Matt Morgan says he’s going to get back on track tonight and Carbon Footprint Hernandez back to Mexico.  Please let this be the ending to this stupid feud.

We recap Joe vs. Pope with the whole Okato stuff which was idiotic beyond belief.  In short, Pope was caught doing naughty things with his donations as Joe had a Japanese friend of his named Okada (later Okato) film him.  Pope beat up Okato and this is their 3^rd or 4^th match.

D’Angelo Dinero vs. Samoa Joe

Joe is in red and blue which is an odd look on him.  The Joe’s Gonna Kill You chant is always cool to hear.  Pope hits a powerslam which is no sold as Joe drills Pope with ease.  Tenay says that it’s all about the strikes with the Samoan SUBMISSION Machine.  Pope gets what looked like a low blow to finally slow down the rampaging Joe.  Joe gets a chop in and Pope tries to run.  The key word there is try as they wind up on top of the cage and a headbutt sends Pope’s balls into the top rope.

That hole in the cage they use for the camera is always awesome.  As Joe hits some face washes the camera goes wide again for no apparent reason.  Joe comes with a running kick but Pope pulls the referee in the way to avoid it.  Pope fights up and lands some crossface shots to take over.  We hit the chinlock with Joe in some trouble.  Joe fights up and tries a sleeper, only to get caught in an STO for two.

ENOUGH WITH THE WIDE SHOT ALREADY!  Snap powerslam by Joe and both guys are down so we go wide again.  This is getting annoying.  They slug it out with Joe winning by slapping harder.  Big Boot by the big fat tub of goo sets up a backsplash for two.  Leg lariat off the top gets two.  Muscle Buster hits but Pope gets his foot on the ropes.

Pope goes up and gets his tights pulled down in the process.  He finally pulls them up and knocks Joe to the mat.  Top rope elbow gets one and a Codebreaker gets two.  DDE is caught because it’s an awful finisher and Joe sends him into the cage.  Muscle Buster sets up the Clutch and it’s over.  Well that was abrupt.

Rating: C+. Best match of the night so far and it was just ok at best.  Now please, LET THIS BE OVER.  The feud has been a waste of the last four months for both guys and the matches haven’t been anything special.  This wasn’t anything great overall but it wasn’t too bad.  The right guy won at least so it has that going for it.

Christy tries to talk to Mexican America and they do the usual thing of talking half in English and half in Spanish.  Just get this over with.

We recap the Morgan vs. Hernandez feud.  In short, Morgan is awesome and Hernandez is being a jerk and they used to be partners.  That’s about all there is to it.

Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

Battle of the giants here even though one of the giants is 6’2.  I’m not sure how well that plays but they both look big so it works out fine.  Anarquia reaches through the cage to pull Morgan’s leg and give Hernandez the advantage.  Hernandez hammers away and we hit the nerve hold.  Dude get your racial stereotypes straight.  That’s a Samoan move.

Basically they’re having a regular match in a cage which is part of the problem with this show every year.  Running shoulder in the corner by Hernandez and he poses a lot again.  Either Morgan is legit hurt or Hernandez is really stupid as he’s walked around for about 30 seconds now.  Morgan pops up with a discus lariat to put both guys down for a bit.

Here’s Morgan’s comeback which is just ok.  Backdrop suplex gets two.  Hernandez ends that with something like a headbutt to the ribs for two.  Morgan avoids a charge to send Hernandez into the cage.  The girls climb up on the cage as does Anarquia.  Down goes the dude and Hernandez tries to come off the top.  Morgan catches him with a really bad looking Carbon Footpring to end this.

Rating: D. Boring match here again as nothing worked in it again.  Morgan never got anything going for the most part and the ending was weak looking.  Again though the right guy won and hopefully that ends the feud.  Boring match again as one more time I’m glad I didn’t go to this show.

The girls complain about TNA and America cheating them again.  They say they should be Knockout Champion and that they’re better than everyone.  After they complain a lot here’s Velvet to beat them both up.  She throws them out and that’s about it.

Karen says Jeff Jarrett is awesome and she has nothing to be worried about.

We recap Kurt vs. Jarrett.  Basically it’s because of Karen who blames Kurt for all kinds of problems and legitimately married Kurt’s boss.  This feud has gone on FOREVER (some of you may be noticing a pattern here) and hopefully it ends here.  This is one of those instances where they’re trying to make real life into an angle and while it’s interesting, that doesn’t mean it should be done.  There was a wedding ceremony that Kurt busted up with an ax which was awesome.

Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett

First fall is submission only, second is pin only, third is escape the cage.  Should be awesome.  Karen is ejected before the match starts which is a nice plus.  Angle gets a headlock to start us off which is broken up quickly.  There are only three matches left and we have almost 90 minutes left so this is going to get a lot of time.  Snap suplex puts Jeff down as Kurt hammers away.

Leg sweep takes Kurt down and it’s a Figure Four less than two minutes in.  Not a very good one but a figure four nonetheless.  The referee, ever the genius, counts Kurt’s shoulders in a submission match.  Kurt turns it over and hooks a t-bone suplex into the ankle lock.  That doesn’t last long as Jarrett grabs a sleeper.  Jeff sends Kurt into the corner shoulder first and adds an enziguri to the shoulder (which doesn’t work as enziguri means head kick but you get the idea).  Cross armbreaker goes on and Kurt is able to roll out of it and lock on the ankle lock with the grapevine to get the early submission.

Jeff sends him into the cage and hits the Stroke for two.  I thought that would have been a fall actually.  Jeff has a top rope cross body rolled through for two.  Double clothesline puts both guys down.  They slug it out and it’s boo/yay time.  Belly to belly by Kurt gets two.  Rolling Germans hear my cry!  The third is blocked by a low blow though which Jeff distracts the referee for.  If it’s pin only, why would he have to distract the referee?

Another Stroke is countered into a shot into the cage and an Angle Slam for of course just two.  Jeff goes up and is caught in a belly to belly off the top for a long two.  The crowd is FINALLY getting into this.  They’ve been dead the entire time here which is a shame as this has been a fairly good match so far.  Kurt wakes up and busts out a Diamond Cutter of all things.  That has to be a shot at Randy Orton.  And Jeff rolls Kurt up with tights to tie it up.  No bell or anything and the announcement is delayed, so no one really got that it was a fall.

Third is escape only and Jeff tries to unlock the door.  There’s a key in there if you’re wondering.  Jeff sends Kurt into the cage multiple times and goes for the key again.  Ok the door is unlocked now.  Slowest Rolling Germans ever has Jeff reeling though.  There were five in that set and thankfully the crowd responds to it a bit.  Just like last year, Kurt is ready to go and Jeff couldn’t stop him but he comes back in.  He gets to the bottom step twice and come back in.

Kurt locks the door and puts the key down his singlet.  Jeff is panicking so Kurt beats on him a bit more.  Jeff is the first person to bleed tonight and it’s flowing down his face.  They head to the top rope and Kurt hammers him down.  Angle climbs up but Jeff catches him with a powerbomb off the top of the cage which is botched and Kurt lands on the top of his head, probably killing him.  And of course he pops up to catch Jarrett leaving and hits an Angle Slam off the top.  Kurt tries to leave but lost the key somewhere.  Not a good sign when there’s so much room in your tights that you can’t find a big metal object buddy.

Gunner comes out with a chair to keep Kurt from leaving so Kurt pulls a Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga spot and throws out the moonsault to Jeff.  I think his head hit Jarrett so it’s better than nothing.  Steiner runs out to chase off Gunner as both guys are down.  Kurt finds the key and unlocks the door but Karen bounces down and sprays something in Kurt’s eyes.

The blind Angle drills the referee and Karen hides by the door.  Jeff tries to escape but gets caught in the ankle lock.  Karen slips him a guitar from somewhere and pops Kurt with it.  Kurt gets up AGAIN and puts the ankle lock on Jeff one more time but Karen slams the door on Angle’s head to let Jeff fall out to end this finally.  You have got to be kidding me.  Are they trying to have a mass murder in Cincinnati tonight?

Rating: B. Le sigh.  Blast it all as they managed to screw up ANOTHER finish.  The match wasn’t great but it was definitely the best of the night.  The crowd hurt this a lot and the ending wasn’t all that great.  It’s Angle vs. Jarrett.  HOW CAN YOU OVERBOOK KURT ANGLE VS. JEFF JARRETT????????  Not a great match as some people will say but good.  The problem is the first two falls were weak and it hurt this a lot.

We recap the world title match.  Basically Sting came back to win the title and screw over Hogan in the process.  RVD was stripped of the title last year due to being injured by Abyss.  Anderson is ticked off by not getting a one on one title rematch.  There’s a possibility that someone is joining Immortal also but it’s really not clear.  Hogan has declared war apparently.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson

Anderson gets in both guys’ faces and is drilled for his efforts.  Stinger Splash in the corner sets up the Scorpion a minute in but RVD breaks it up.  Van Dam fights Sting for a bit until Anderson pulls the rope down to send Rob into the cage.  Sting fights both of them and puts the Scorpion on both guys at the same time.  It’s as out there as it seems.  They both get the ropes as I’m not entirely sure how effective that move would have had but it was a nice idea at least.

Van Dam and Sting collide and everyone is down.  Neckbreaker to Van Dam gets two.  Double Mic Check has everyone down.  It gets two on both guys twice each.  Only in wrestling is 2+2+2+2 not good enough to get to 3.  Van Dam kicks Anderson down and the Five Star gets two.  So we’ve now established that 8 and 5 aren’t worth three.

Double clothesline puts everyone down……and here’s Hogan.  Hogan hands RVD the pipe and RVD takes it.  He isn’t sure what to do with it so he throws it at Hogan.  Anderson picks it up and pops RVD with it, shouting at Hogan that it was for him and not for Hogan.  Sting sneaks up on him and gets the Death Drop on Anderson to retain.  Yep that’s really it.

Rating: C. This was SHORT.  It wasn’t any good either but that’s beside the point.  There were more references to Brooke Hogan than anything else for the most part here.  Not a terrible match but dude, I was expecting something epic here and again it was rather short.  Not much of a match at all as it was mainly finishers and laying down.  Granted I’m not a fan of three ways for the most part but this felt like something that belonged on Impact and not a major PPV.

Hogan says he and Sting will go at it on his time.  Why do I have a feeling that’s Bound For Glory?

Immortal vs. Foutune

Lethal Lockdown here.  It’s Wargames for you old school fans.  Fourtune is Roode, Storm, Kaz and Daniels.  Immortal is Bully Ray, Matt Hardy, Abyss and Ric Flair.  Yes, Flair is main eventing this show.  Both teams send in a man for five minutes.  After five minutes Immortal sends in their second man for a two minute advantage (they won a best of three series on Impact to earn that).

After two minutes we add in another member of Fourtune to even the odds.  Two minutes after that we add in another member of Immortal to give them a 3-2 advantage.  You alternate every two minutes until it’s 4-4 and then a roof covered in weapons comes down.  Then it’s first fall wins.

We start off with Kaz and Abyss with the monster taking over early via a chokeslam.  Ray keeps shouting mess up his pretty face.  Matt says mangle him.  All Abyss so far until Kaz reverses a shot into the cage and fires off a right hand.  Top rope rana hits as we somehow have done four minutes so far.  Kaz (that has to be close enough for a copyright suit from Taz) hammers down Abyss and it’s Matt in next.

Side Effect misses and Kaz hammers on Matt for as long as he can.  He’s not paying attention to Abyss though as he hits a springboard rotating legdrop to Matt.  Fade to Black is countered as Abyss is back up with 1:20 to go.  Matt gets the Ice Pick (double underhook choke) to Kaz and Abyss pounds away a bit more on top of it.  Matt, ever the genius, lets go of the hold.  Side Effect puts Kaz down as we wait for the next person to come in.

The fourth man in is Daniels who hammers on Abyss.  BME crushes the masked dude and Matt is taken down by a knee from the top.  Fourtune takes over as the fans chant for Flair.  Ask and ye shall receive as Flair is actually going to be in there for awhile.  That man is absolutely insane.  He has to be.  He and Abyss work over Kaz as Matt beats up Daniels.

Storm has some beer before heading in third for his team.  Beer to the face and it’s Codebreakers and Backstabbers all around.  Flair gets on his knees in front of Storm and begs for mercy before having a beer bottle cracked over his head.  Oh yep Flair is busted.  Flair is in a suit without the shirt by the way.  There go his pants and he gets spanked a bit.  Why is it always HIM that this happens to?

Bully Ray is the freaking clean up hitter for Fourtune and Flair is getting more and more undressed as this goes on.  Roode is waiting in the aisle with 45 seconds to go.  Immortal beats them down until Roode comes in to SILENCE.  This crowd has been dead all night.  Roode shouts FOURTUNE and hits a Blockbuster on Abyss.  The roof hasn’t come down yet but as Fourtune takes over here it comes.

Double suplex to Abyss by Beer Money sets up their shout.  The roof coming down takes long enough to let Jeff Hardy get pinned three times.  Don’t bother showing us what’s going on in the ring right now.  We need to see a roof coming down.  Fourtune has weapons and the beating is on.  We go split screen with one screen having a regular shot of the cage where you can see everything.  Brilliant guys.  Brilliant.

Abyss is knocked out through the door and Matt goes up top.  I really hope he doesn’t break the roof.  Daniels goes up with him as Flair screams a lot.  Daniels loads up Angel’s Wings but Matt blocks hit.  He backdrops Daniels who literally has to grab the roof to hang on with his legs off the cage.  Storm throws the door open to give his feet something to grip on.  Matt hits the Twist of Hate as Flair is literally covered in blood.  MATT FALLS OFF THE CAGE.  I mean he flew off and they didn’t show him afterwards.  That’s scary stuff man.

A bunch of near falls follow and Roode gets a spinebuster on Flair for two.  Daniels dives off the cage onto Abyss and Matt who thankfully were there to catch him.  How is Matt still live?  Roode puts the Figure Four on Flair but Roode makes the save at the last second.  Flair and Ray take their turns with kendo sticks on everyone as Daniels is somehow back in the ring.

Ray says this is for your good friend AJ which brings AJ himself out to the ring for the big beatdown on Ray.  Well there’s your match next month at whatever the next PPV is.  Everyone beats on Flair and Roode throws on an armbar for the surprisingly quick tap out.  Well at least there wasn’t a major turn.

Rating: B. Good match here with some flat out scary shots.  The problem here was that they got caught in the same trap that they always did in this match: the opening WarGames stuff means nothing once we get down to the weapons part.  The spots were enough to make your jaw drop but it wasn’t the best match in the series.  Granted these aren’t usually great.  The ending made sense with AJ making his return, but it was kind of expected.

Overall Rating: D+. Well this was disappointing.  It’s not the worst show I’ve ever seen and is light years ahead of Victory Road (this had an actual main event) but it was nothing compared to what they had built it up to be.  The world title is more or less a throwaway match which is never a god thing.  The main event is ok because it was a major gimmick match but it was nothing great.  The dead crowd didn’t help things either.

The whole thing felt weak to me and that’s certainly not a good thing given what they’ve been doing the past few months.  Disappointing show and a sign of things to come I’m afraid.  Also, this points to more Hogan and Bischoff being the focus of the show, which doesn’t do a thing for newcomers, which is what they need right now.

Results

Max Buck b. Jeremy Buck, Amazing Red, Chris Sabin, Brian Kendrick, Robbie E, Jay Lethal and Suicide – Buck escaped the cage

Ink Inc b. Scott Steiner/Crimson, Orlando Jordan/Eric Young and British Invasion – Mooregasm to Williams

Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Jumping DDT

Samoa Joe b. D’Angelo Dinero – Koquina Clutch

Matt Morgan b. Hernandez – Carbon Footprint

Jeff Jarrett b. Kurt Angle – Jarrett escaped the cage

Sting b. Mr. Anderson and Rob Van Dam – Scorpion Death Drop to Anderson

Fourtune b. Immortal – Roode made Flair submit to a Fujiwara Armbar

Impact
Date: April 14, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Hogan’s Law

It’s the final show before Lockdown and most of the card is set.  Tonight is likely going to be just the final push to the show which is standard operating procedure.  We’ll also likely see Hogan and Immortal trying to go after Anderson for him double crossing them last week and also more development in the three way feud for the world title.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the three way feud stuff from last week, including Anderson being the referee for the non-title main event.  The most important thing though is Anderson screwing over Hogan and Immortal and Hogan being furious.

Here’s Immortal in full force to open the show.  Gunner has the TV Title in his teeth.  Hogan says there’s nothing but top level talent here but he wants to get rid of the strength of rotten garbage.  He calls out Anderson and here he comes.  Wow Anderson looks really skinny here for some reason.  Hogan says that he’s tired of Anderson doing things the hard way and he’s going to make an example out of him.

Anderson goes off on Immortal, talking about how they’re all just riding their coattails and no one respects Hogan.  Especially Bischoff who made his entire career off of Hogan.  Wow that’s cutting a bit close.  Anderson sets to say his line and Hogan I think slaps him down and the beating is on.  With Immortal holding him in place, Hogan gets in Anderson’s face and says he’s going to take Anderson out tonight, because he’s “the baddest mamma jamma in this place.”  Anderson spits in Ray’s face and gets drilled by the Bully.

Velvet yells at Winter and wants to know what Winter has done to her.  Winter says that Angelina can make her own decisions.  Velvet says she’s going to call Angelina out herself and if it’s not accepted she’ll come drag Angelina out there herself.

Back with Immortal celebrating but Bischoff is a bit upset.  He just got a call from the Network and they want a best of 3 series between Immortal and Fourtune with the winner getting an advantage in the Lethal Lockdown match on Sunday.  Hogan says Bischoff was supposed to take care of the Network and gets on him about it.

Jesse Neal vs. Douglas Williams vs. Crimson vs. Orlando Jordan

Winner gets….a win I guess.  All of the partners are at ringside and Moore gets after Steiner.  Orlando looks to be in a purple dress for lack of a better term.  Neal vs. Williams to start but the British dude tags in Jordan quickly.  Side slam gets two and it’s off to Crimson vs. Neal.  T-Bone suplex gets two but Neal hits his spear on Crimson.  Moore keeps making fun of Steiner and distracting Neal.  Moore finally pushes him and the fight is on.  Steiner goes out to help him so we’re down to a three way.

Crimson goes off to help but here’s Abyss to jump Crimson.  Magnus and Young fight on the floor as Abyss rips up the railing.  Chokeslam onto the guardrail leaves Crimson laying as the match is down to Jordan vs. Williams for all intents and purposes.  Jordan grinds on Williams and gets a clothesline for two.  Young and Magnus come in which goes nowhere as Jordan hits something like Cross Rhodes (called the Gender Bender) to end it at 3:35.

Rating: D. Considering the fact that about seventy five percent of this match was spent on the stuff outside and what you saw in the ring was nothing special at all, what are you supposed to say here?  Weak match to build to a match that really shouldn’t be in a cage.  It’s always a problem with Lockdown but rarely a big one.  Weak match though.

Bully Ray comes in to tell RVD that Hogan is going to make him an offer where the grass is greener and there are fewer seeds.  I don’t get weed jokes but I guess that makes sense.

Matt Hardy vs. Kazarian

This is match #1 in the aforementioned best of three series.  Team Immortal is here with Matt.  The series is for the initial advantage in Lethal Lockdown.  Fourtune comes out with Kaz but Hebner sends them away and does the same to Immortal.  Flair freaks out and wants to fight Hebner.  Kaz grabs some rollups to start but only gets two on both.  Kaz charges but is sent to the apron where Matt kicks the rope for a low blow on the way back in.

Neckbreaker gets two as they’re moving rather quickly out there.  I guess Matt is moving due to the lack of dreads out there.  Matt focuses on the neck of Kaz, hitting the slingshot into the middle rope for two.  Later we get Storm vs. Abyss and Roode vs. Flair.  Cravate works on the neck even more but the Twist of Hate is reversed into a backslide for two.  Side Effect doesn’t work and Kaz grabs a pinning combination for another two.

Side Effect gets two and there’s another one.  Matt goes up but misses a moonsault to give Kaz a breather.  Forearm by Kazarian and here’s the comeback.  Hogan is going to force Anderson to run the Immortal gauntlet.  Springboard legdrop gets two for Kaz and Fade to Black (called Kryptonite Crunch by Taz) is reversed.  Missile dropkick gets two as Matt gets his foot on the rope.  They go to the corner and Matt shoves Hebner into the ropes, allowing him to grab Kaz in a double underhook bodyscissors hold for the pass out/submission.  Hard to tell but the hold is called the Ice Pick and it ends this at 5:16.

Rating: B-. I liked this actually.  They were moving out there and we got a lot of near falls and close finishes.  I’m really not sure what the point is in having the X Champion lose clean like that and get in next to no offense other than a quick flurry but he’s a Hardy so I guess he has to be made to look strong.  Pretty decent match here.

Madison is upset about something and Tara says just get it over with.

Back with Madison and Tara in the ring.  Madison says she hasn’t been able to sleep for a week over what happened last week.  She would have done something different: she would have backed up and run her over again.  Tara doesn’t like this that much.  Then Madison would have slapped Tara for questioning here.  Tara is getting too comfortable in her role so Madison reminds her that she works for Madison.  If Tara doesn’t chill, she’s going to be back selling lip gloss.

Tara has something to say but Mickie comes out instead.  She’s in a sling and has a separated shoulder.  TNA needs to really stop having Titantron videos playing during promos as they’re really distracting.  Mickie goes nuts and says she’s going to put Madison through more pain on Sunday than Mickie went through.  Sunday she’s going to take Madison out and get back at her for the last six months.  Very solid and intense promos here.

Jeff Jarrett/D’Angelo Dinero/Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan/Samoa Joe/Kurt Angle

Always a good sign to throw feuds into one match.  It’s the best possible way to get a bunch of them built at once and works almost every time.  That wasn’t sarcasm if it sounded like it.  Jarrett and Angle start us off here which is rather surprising.  Jarrett runs and tags in Hernandez maybe 10 seconds in.  We take a break after about 15 seconds.

Back with Morgan throwing the rapid fire elbows to Pope’s head in the corner.  Morgan loads up the Carbon Footprint but Pope takes the leg out and Morgan is in trouble.  Off to Hernandez who hammers away but a discus clothesline sends Morgan down and brings in Kurt.  Kurt is taken down by a simple boot to the ribs and Hernandez goes up top.  You don’t go up top against Kurt and Angle gets the running belly to belly to send Hernandez down.

Off to Joe and Jarrett as Joe cleans house.  Quick powerslam gets two for Joe but Pope breaks up a cross armbreaker.  Muscle Buster to Pope is blocked twice as Jarrett breaks it up.  Jeff throw Joe to the floor but runs into Kurt.  They run off to the back as Hernandez gets a slingshot shoulder block to take Joe down.  Border Toss is reversed into the Clutch but Pope comes off the top with an elbow to break it up.  Morgan back in as the tagging is completely abandoned.  Anarquia throws Hernandez some brass knuckles but Morgan takes him down.  Pope gets them and knocks Joe out cold for the pin at 9:20 total.

Rating: C-. Kind of a mess here but it got to the ending which is the right idea.  Also keeping Angle and Jeff from having any actual contact is always a good thing.  Not a terrible match but nothing all that great.  At least they built up the three matches the right way and it worked well enough.

The heels leave Morgan and Joe laying.

The Jarretts try to leave but Karen says she forgot her purse.  Jeff says screw it but she runs after it anyway, only to run into Kurt.  Jeff leaves without her and Kurt says what a great pick for a husband and leaves her there.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff.  Hulk calls RVD to the ring and lays it on thick, talking about how this is the new RVD who is all aggressive.  Hogan saw what happened last week where RVD pinned the TNA Champion, which was awesome.  Here’s Sting to say that what Hogan said was a lie.  Sting talks about how RVD needs to earn it and he won’t do that in Immortal.  If he beats Sting cleanly cool, but if it’s not clean it’s over Sting’s dead body.  RVD leaves.

Bischoff talks to Sting now and says that Hogan has been working Sting for his entire career and that Checkmate is in Sting’s future.  Sting disagrees, saying Checkmate is his.  He drills Bischoff in the ribs and hits the Death Drop on him.  Hogan is scared to death as he’s in a back braces still.  Sting says it’ll be on his time, not Hogan’s.

Abyss vs. James Storm

Abyss has new music.  Storm goes right at him, spitting beer in the face and we hit the floor early.  Apparently on Sunday the Angle/Jarrett match is now 2/3 falls.  First is pin, second is submission and third is escape only.  That match just got even more awesome.  Back in the ring and Abyss gets a big boot to take him down.

Storm pops up and hammers away, finally taking him down with a forearm.  Top rope cross body gets two and Storm counters a chokeslam into a Codebreaker and a Backstabber for two.  Chokeslam gets two and Abyss is surprised.  Shock Treatment and the Last Call both miss and the Black Hole Slam gets the pin clean at 3:50.  Immortal wins the man advantage.

Rating: C+. Nice little big man vs. little man here and it was a pretty surprising ending as you don’t have the predicted ending of having it go to the third fall.  Power vs. speed is always fun to see and it worked pretty well here.  The ending was a bit odd though as Storm seemed like he kicked out just in time.  Either way, fun little match.

Back with Bischoff talking to the Network and him being all upset about it.  He demands to know who is working with the Network and the Network apparently says in time.  Bischoff demands to know now and gets hung up on.

Here’s Velvet to call out Angelina.  She gets Winter’s music instead and Angelina is here in that trance still.  Velvet shoves/hits her to get her attention but gets speared down.  Angelina gets a chair and DDTs Velvet on it.  No emotion at all from Love here.  Winter beckons Angelina back and they leave together.

We run down the Lockdown card.

Mr. Anderson vs. Immortal

This is a gauntlet match.  First up is Murphy who gets a quick clothesline and a slam.  The slam puts Anderson’s leg into the rope and it might be injured.  DDT to the leg and Anderson is in trouble.  And never mind as the Mic Check sends Murphy out quickly.  Rob Terry is in second and Anderson grabs a small package and rollup for two each.  Terry goes after the knee some more and uses basic power.  Mic Check as a reversal ends him also.

In third is the TV Champion in I believe his first match since winning the title.  There’s not a lot to say here as you know Anderson is about to take this one with a quick win also.  Gunner works on the knee in the corner and Anderson is stuck.  Fourth is going to be Bully Ray and he’ll be last.  Anderson gets a boot in the corner and some strikes to set up a spinning neckbreaker for two.  Yep there it is as he sends Gunner into the corner and the Mic Check makes Anderson 3-0.

Finally it’s Bully Ray who hammers away and drops some elbows before hammering on the knee even more.  The fans chant you can’t wrestle at Ray.  There’s a WWE joke in there somewhere.  Anderson gets yelled at a lot and knocked down again.  The back splash from the middle rope of course doesn’t work as Anderson fires in some shots.  He manages to get Ray up in a fireman’s carry despite having a bad knee.  Well of course he can.

They slug it out and Anderson takes over.  Big boot puts him right back down though and Ray throws him to the floor.  Then he drills the referee and takes the fight to the floor.  Ray takes him up the ramp and sets for a powerbomb like he did to AJ a few weeks back.  As he sets for it Hogan comes out dancing a bit and walks to do it instead.  There goes the back brace and he sets for a powerbomb.  Here’s Sting with the bat though for the save.  Abyss pops up and Sting drills him with the bat.  Ray gets the same treatment and Hogan backs off.  We’ll say the match ended when Ray hit the referee so the match ran 9:30.

Rating: D+. Just a standard gauntlet match here with Anderson destroying everyone not named Ray, including the TV Champion, in short order with no real effort at all.  The ending was I guess to further Sting and Hogan which it did for the most part, but the ending made the match worse, which is bad since it wasn’t a terrible match to begin with.

Fourtune talks about how this ends Sunday.  Storm yells about Abyss.

RVD doesn’t say anything.

Anderson says nothing has changed with him and Sting.  He wants more mountains to climb and rants about the title.

Sting says he’ll keep the title on Sunday.

Hogan says Immortal is going to break Sting in half and if he wants a war, he’s got one.

Overall Rating: B. This was a very good go home show as everything was talked about I think.  We got some decent matches in there also and all in all the show worked.  There were some bad parts but at the same time everything worked.  However, this all comes down to Sunday as the PPV has to work right.  It depends on how that show goes to see if this works overall.

Results

Orlando Jordan b. Douglas Williams, Jesse Neal and Crimson – Gender Bender to Williams

Matt Hardy b. Kazarian – Ice Pick

Hernandez/Jeff Jarrett/D’Angelo Dinero b. Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe/Matt Morgan – Dinero pinned Joe after a punch with brass knuckles

Abyss b. James Storm – Black Hole Slam

Mr. Anderson vs. Immortal went to a no contest

Impact
Date: April 7, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay
Episode Title: The Rise of the Fallen Angel

After two back to back solid shows we now have two shows before Impact and now have the returning Christopher Daniels to replace AJ Styles in Lethal Lockdown.  Also we now have the main event set for the world title match as it’s Sting vs. RVD vs. Anderson which is probably the best option.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Daniels’ return last week and presumably him being named to the Fourtune team at Lockdown.

Here’s Fourtune to open the show.  Daniels talks about how he’s been in and out of TNA a bunch of times now.  He’s had good times and bad times here but that’s not what matters because that’s the wrestling business.  What matters are the friendships you make in the business, like the one he made eight years ago with a guy named AJ Styles.  After seeing what Bully Ray did a few weeks ago, e Hehe knew it was time to come back.  He asks Fourtune if he can be on the team at Lockdown, but before they can answer here’s Immortal.

In this case it’s Flair, Ray, Matt and Abyss.  Flair says this is beyond fixing and rants about how this is wrestling and Daniels is nothing in this business.  There’s an offer to Daniels to leave now because someone is going to get hurt at Lockdown.  Daniels also has no contract so he needs to get out of here because he’s not going to be able to wrestle at the PPV.  Daniels says that Hogan, Flair and Bischoff aren’t going to matter because the Network says they want him here.

Cue Hogan and Bischoff who say that what the Network wants they get, so tonight it’s Daniels vs. Ray.  Ray gets in Daniels’ face and talks about how Daniels should go back to California and put on more makeup.  Daniels drills him and Hogan wants security who comes out and breaks it up.

Anderson is in the back on a laptop but sees a note for him.  It says “Last week was just a trailer.  Tonight it’s SHOWTIME!  Your friend, Stinger”.  He starts singing a version of the theme to Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood and goes back to his laptop.

Back with Hogan complaining about the Network and he thinks the Network has a wrestler in it because they think like a wrestler.  He slams the door in the face of the cameraman as he rants about them.

Hernandez/Anarquia vs. Tommy Dreamer/D-Von

Well this is kind of an odd team.  Tenay asks who better than Dreamer for D-Von to recruit.  …a lot of people Tenay!  D-Von and Anarquia start but this stops being anything resembling a tag match very quickly.  What’s Up to Anarquia and then everything breaks down even further.  Rosita gets in the ring and D-Von kisses her, which allows Anarquia to pop D-Von with a chair and Hernandez falls on top for the pin at 2:00.  Barely even a match.

Post match the girls roll back the mats on the floor and Hernandez teases a Border Toss to Dreamer to the concrete but Matt Morgan makes the save and we take a break.

Back and Winter is brainwashing Angelina some more.  Winter says she loves her.  Angelina is drinking that drink again.

Samoa Joe vs. Murphy

Pope is on commentary of course.  Murphy jumps him to start as Tenay talks to Pope about the beginning of this angle for some reason.  And the Koquina Clutch ends this in 46 seconds.  Joe chases Pope off.

Anderson is looking for someone but stops to get coffee.  And there’s a note for him there too.  This one says “Tonight let’s finish what we started Kenny Boy.  Stinger.”  Anderson destroys the coffee stuff.

Knockout Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. Rosita/Sarita

Angelina Love is in a trance here and can’t even do the entrance.  Sarita jumps Velvet as she gets in which doesn’t last long.  Angelina keeps staring forward.  Off to Rosita now who Velvet beats up also.  Angelina doesn’t react to an offer of a tag at all.  Winter comes to the stage and makes a sign of snap her in half so Angelina stuns Velvet over the ropes and hammers away at her.  Rosita gets the easy pin at 2:00.

Anderson is looking for Sting and has a pipe.  He runs into Jordan and Young and Young says Sting is probably in the rafters.  Jordan says he’s into Anderson’s catchphrase thing.

Jeff Jarrett has a Lockdown promise for Angle later.

Back with Anderson searching the rafters for Sting and finds….nothing.  Someone is following him though and the person seems to be kind of tall.  It doesn’t appear to be Sting as the hair is too short.  Oh it’s RVD.  He says it’s 4:20 so Anderson is about to get smoked.  Good looking knees to the face of Anderson as this is a total beating.  RVD falls down carrying him off but locks a modified triangle choke on Anderson who has no room to move around at all in the confined space.  Van Dam says that wouldn’t be enough to beat Sting and chokes Anderson out with the pipe as we go to another break.

After a quick video on RVD and Anderson and a recap of what we just saw, here’s Sting, calling out RVD.  Sting apologizes to RVD for what he did to him last year and says that he’s here to get rid of Hogan and Bischoff.  Hogan and Bischoff make RVD vs. Sting for tonight, presumably non-title.

Tara says Madison is insane and she won’t do what Madison wants her to do.  Madison says Tara has a job because of Madison.  They get on the motorcycle and leave.  No idea where to.

Generation Me/Robbie E vs. Brian Kendrick/Chris Sabin/Suicide

Where did they did some of these guys up from?  Sabin vs. Robbie to start and the face team destroys Robbie one by one.  Suicide hammers on Max as there isn’t much to say here.  This is to hype up the X-Division Xscape match at Lockdown.  Off to Kendrick who destroys everything in sight and it all breaks down quickly.  Jeremy sets for something off the top but Max crotches him and DDTs him off the top.  Kendrick steals the pin at 4:40.

Rating: C. Just a standard Cruiserweight match with a screwy ending.  I guess we lose another team from the tag team division but hey, I’m sure it’s still awesome because it was at one point right?  Not much of a match but they did what they could in the time given out there.

Hogan yells at Immortal and has Gunner slap Rob Terry and someone else that I couldn’t recognize.  Anderson comes in with the pipe and is tired of getting beaten up every week so he asks Hogan for a favor.  Anderson offers his “support” in exchange for protection and shakes hands with Hogan.  He’s now the referee in the main event and Hogan says take the pipe with you.

We see Madison and Tara leaving Mickie laying and speeding off on the bike.

Back with medics looking at Mickie.

Bully Ray vs. Christopher Daniels

This is a lumberjack match so we can have our big pull apart brawl.  Ray controls early but Daniels manages to send him to the floor for a bit.  He lands in front of Immortal though so no harm befalls him.  Back in and Ray drills him with some loud chops to take over again.  Ray tries to get the chain in but that gets him nowhere.  Daniels gets an enziguri and a rana to take over.  Running STO sets up the BME which gets the long two as Flair pulls the referee out.  Somehow that isn’t a DQ and the brawl allows Hogan to pop Daniels with the chain for the pin at 6:25.

Rating: D+. The lumberjacks were only there for the very ending.  Other than that they played no role whatsoever which tends to be a problem with TNA gimmick matches: the gimmicks don’t really need to be there but they’re around anyway.  Not much of a match here but it advances Lethal Lockdown well enough I guess.  Nice way to push your big returning star too.

After a break, here’s Jarrett in the cage.  He talks about Kurt being arrested last week like a common street thug.  He says that if the cage match had happened a few months ago, the cops would have arrested him (Jarrett) for hurting Angle.  The kids won’t be visiting Angle in prison because they need more of Daddy Jeff at the moment.

There’s some kind of special entrance set up for Karen but it’s Kurt’s theme instead.  He flies in like Spider-Man and locks the door.  Kurt runs into the cameraman and Jarrett (and Karen who came out) run.  This is all they put the cage up for?

Back and Kurt says he’s going to hurt Jeff at Lockdown.  Oh and the Network says there will be a stipulation for the match.  No word on what that is.

Rob Van Dam vs. Sting

Anderson is referee and this is non-title.  Sting grabs a headlock to start but Van Dam breaks that and gets some kicks from the middle and top rope.  Rolling Thunder gets two.  RVD argues about the count but it was fine.  Stinger Splash gets two and Sting argues a bit also.  There’s the Scorpion Death Drop out of nowhere but Anderson drops Sting with the Mic Check.  He counts them both out and jumps from 1 to 6 and then to 9 in about 3 seconds.  Five Star to Sting ends this at 3:16.

Rating: D. Well this was pointless but it was long enough to warrant a grading.  Was there a point to having RVD get the pin here?  I’d say the same thing about Sting pinning RVD, but I guess this is better than another no contest.  Also we get that Anderson is against both of them, which he was in the first place.

Anderson lays RVD out with the belt and asks Van Dam about the rematch.  Terry and Murphy come out and put Anderson on their shoulders to end the show.  Hogan comes out to clap.  Apparently we’re not done yet as it’s a Mic Check for Terry and Murphy.  Well at least they didn’t go with the obvious ending.  He points the pipe at Hogan and says he’s next.  Hogan rants about Anderson to really end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was almost a chore to sit through.  Now even though most people probably aren’t going to read past the previous sentence, I’m not saying this was a horrible show because they’ve had far worse ones before.  However, you had to matches end in partners turning on each other, two matches ending in weapon shots and other than Immortal and the world title match, almost nothing new happened.  It was a very boring show that dragged really badly which isn’t a good sign in the slightest going into the second biggest show of the year.  Bad show and a disappointment after their last two shows.

Results

Anarquia/Hernandez b. D-Von/Tommy Dreamer – Hernandez pinned D-Von after a chair shot from Anarquia

Samoa Joe b. Murphy – Koquina Clutch

Rosita/Sarita b. Beautiful People – Rosita pinned Sky after Love attacked Sky

Chris Sabin/Brian Kendrick/Suicide b. Generation Me/Robbie E – Kendrick pinned Jeremy Buck after a DDT from Max Buck

Fall Brawl 1995
Date: September 17, 1995
Location: Ashville Civic Center, Ashville, North Carolina
Attendance: 6,600
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

So this is about two things: WarGames and Arn Anderson vs. Ric Flair. Now this is important for a few other reasons as to begin with, Nitro has debuted at this point so we have a TV show on a night other than Saturday. With that show, Luger is here now. On the preshow, Hogan was on a motorcycle the fans gave him and Giant tried to run over him with a monster truck. Sadly it missed. Let’s get to this.

Brian Pillman vs. Johnny B. Badd

This is the number one contender match for the US Title. Badd was constantly opening shows, but this match is special as you’ll soon see. Those Frisbees are really stupid though. His intro takes like 3 minutes after the bell rings, just for him to throw stuff to the fans. And then Buffer talking about both guys takes even longer. Is wrestling such a hard thing to do?

Pillman gets booed actually. That’s most odd. They feel each other out to start which is a fine way to start so there we are. They start off with some solid stuff which is always a perk. This is a pretty fast paced match so far which is a good sign. Heenan cracks me up by saying that Badd is like Sting’s cocker spaniel because Sting trained him. We have a Bobby the Brain Heenan For President.

Heenan of course bashes him, but says he would appreciate a donation. Heenan is on fire tonight. They go to the mat again which is hurting things a bit. They plug Nitro tomorrow which would be the third show in history. That’s very odd indeed. We go to a wide camera shot which makes sure not to let us see the camera side, which I would bet is about 10% full.

Tony offers some insight by saying the far leg is the leg that is furthest away. Yep I love him too. Pillman goes heel here by throwing a punch. He would soon snap and go full heel but more on that later. Badd gets a weird submission hold where his feet are under Brian’s shoulders and he’s pulling back on his arms. That would hurt quite a bit I’d think. Brian is getting booed more and more.

See what something simple like just a straight punch can do? Brian hits the floor as this is getting good. A springboard legdrop gets two for Badd. It’s kind of sad that the fans are just wandering around when there’s a solid match going on because that’s what they’re so used to from WCW. That can’t be a good sign. With Badd on the floor we have five minutes to go. The over the top rope rule continues to be changed every show as Badd suplexes him over.

And now he jumps over the top to take Brian out as they crank it up again. Johnny goes for a double axe from the top but jumps into a dropkick with four minutes to go. Brian gets a Tombstone with 3 minutes left. Even the WCW crowd is into this so how much does that tell you about this match?

And we hit an armbar with 2 minutes to go. Ok then. And now Brian does the same. That’s kind of stupid. There’s a minute left and we’re in a rest hold. Yeah that’s brilliant. Badd gets his big punch with 20 seconds left but Brian is in the ropes. A springboard clothesline gets two for Brian and we’re out of time. The fans boo the that out of the building.

BUT WAIT!

There must be a winner, so we go to sudden death! It’s one fall to a finish so the sudden death term is kind of pointless but we get more of a good match so there you are. Heenan has never heard of this. Really? We go to the floor and it’s a slugfest. Badd uses the same dropkick counter on Brian that got used on him earlier. And that is what you call psychology.

We get a double count which is idiotic given the must be a winner idea. Heenan says no one has tried the one thing that could win: a pipe wrench. I love that. Pillman gets a sleeper which is smart after over 20 minutes of hard wrestling. We talk about the main event where Heenan seems to fantasize over someone turning on Hogan. A sunset flip off the top gets a LONG two for Badd. Crucifix is countered into a back slam.

This is a great match in case you can’t tell. Hurricanrana from the middle rope, which was an epic move at the time, gets just two for Badd. Tornado DDT, Pillman’s finisher, just gets two. We go BACK to the floor where Badd hits a somersault plancha over the top which he nearly misses and Pillman is out. He goes for a slingshot splash but Pillman gets the knees up for a block. We’re over 35 minutes into the broadcast and we’re still in the opener.

The overtime has been a solid match in its own right after a great opening 20 minutes. They get back in the ring and freaking FLY off the ropes about three times each before both go for cross bodies but Pillman lands on Badd’s knee so it’s almost like a backbreaker which is enough for the pin to blow the roof off the place. Well as much as that small of a crowd can do at least.

Rating: A. GREAT match. This is what two young guys can do when they’re given a ton of time and can show off. This is pretty easily Badd’s best match ever and it’s one of Pillman’s best. Somehow though, that’s not even Brian’s best PPV opener. That’s hard to believe. Find this match as it’s worth watching.

Flair talks about growing up as a wrestler with Arn and how they are so much alike. To say the blowoff for this at Halloween Havoc was great is an understatement. One thing though: Flair says the Horsemen were masters of the WarGames. Did they ever win a televised one? Flair says the problem is that he loves Arn, but one of them is going to have to explain to their son why one is better than the other. GREAT interview.

Sadly, the show is more or less downhill from here.

Cobra vs. Craig Pittman

So Cobra is more famously known as NWO Sting but here’s he’s an ex-CIA agent. And he’s a pro wrestler. Sure why not. Pittman is an ex-marine or something. And he’s not here. Apparently there’s a really stupid backstory here that isn’t important. No Pittman, but here is his private.

Ignore that he’s Prince Iaukea minus being an islander or a Prince at all. Pittman then repels from the ceiling. Yes, a guy is repelling from the ceiling to fight a fake Sting. There’s irony there somewhere. I have no clue who is face or heel here but I don’t think it matters. This is maybe a minute long with Pittman winning with a cross armbreaker. It was worse than it sounds.

Rating: F. This was just idiotic and WAY over the top to call it a no rating. Just stupid as all goodness and NO ONE cared. Waste of time and money. Oh and the arena is now 15 stories high. Sure why not.

We talk about Paul Orndorff having issues with confidence. We see him ranting to himself with no issues about having a camera there. And here’s a television psychic with a big white afro to talk to him. And Orndorff once main evented a show in Toronto in front of 60,000 people. How is this possible? This is just idiotic and Orndorff was gone soon enough anyway. The acting here is about as bad as you could imagine.

TV Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Renegade

So more or less, one of these guys was supposed to be a big deal and bombed and one was supposed to be a joke and became a big deal. You can figure out which. Page jumps Renegade to start. In a great line from Bobby: “This is a new DDP. This man has energy. This man has vision. This man is…flat out on the floor!” Dang he is cracking me up tonight. Kimberly is getting ticked off at having to do what DDP said.

She would get far hotter when she straightened her hair. Renegade just can’t do much and on top of that, no one liked him. It’s mostly DDP in control here as even though he’s very green, he’s FAR better here. They point out that this is the longest Renegade match ever. That’s just not a good sign at all. To be fair though, Rob Terry is doing the same thing today and he seems to be a success.

Renegade makes his comeback with no one caring. Hart is freaking out on him as we hear again how WCW is number one. Page gets a sweet jumping DDT for a counter though which helps things out a lot. Maxx Muscle goes after Hart so Renegade jumps at him. He grabs Renegade’s foot to allow the Diamond Cutter for the pin and DDP’s first title.

Rating: D. This was the right decision about a million times over. Renegade just was not any good at all and DDP was rapidly getting better. They had to make the change to someone. This was one instance where they saw the writing on the wall and just pulled the plug on a terrible angle.

We talk about Sherri and Colonel Parker and Tony is absolutely losing it on camera.

WCW Tag Titles: Bunkhouse Buck/Dick Slater vs. Harlem Heat

The talented tag team is challenging here. The idea here is more about the managers though as apparently they like each other. The match is going to suck though. Oh and along with this, we only have Arn/Flair and War Games. We’re an hour and five minutes into the show. That simply can’t be a good sign. I also have issues with a guy names Dirty Dick. Also, they gave THESE TWO the tag titles after like 5 months of Heat vs. Nasty Boys?

I don’t like the Nasties, but they’re light years ahead of these morons. Booker and Slater start so at least the one good wrestler in the match is starting us off. Slater is one of those good old southern boys that allegedly was really talented but never shook either the southern stigma or the lack of talent to get over. Crowd is deader than Booker’s career at this point. Again I love how two hicks like this are supposed to be trained wrestlers.

There’s something amusing about that. Yeah the idea here is that Sherri has a bump on the head and isn’t herself. Somehow this was put on national TV as a mainstream wrestling company with angles like that. Wow indeed. Apparently Dick Slater is one of the best wrestlers in the history of the sport. I can barely laugh at how stupid that is.

On the floor the managers are playing this messed up cat and mouse game that is just rather creepy. The fans prove they’re still alive with a short and incomprehensible chant. It’s weird hearing them talk about Booker as a power guy. That’s most odd indeed. Heenan seems like he wants to talk about Buck being undressed. Ok then. The heels are controlling most of the match here.

You can tell the match itself is pretty awful as I’ve barely talked about it. I’m trying very hard to think of anything else to talk about so that I don’t have to actually pay attention. Fact: I used to have this tape and this match cured my insomnia over a summer. I didn’t sleep regularly for a month but this match put me to sleep in five minutes. That’s saying something. We talk about WarGames to kill some time.

This match needs to end BADLY. And trust me, since this is WCW< I’m sure that will mean both possible things. Stevie gets the I guess you could say hot tag to get the crowd to do nothing at all. And here is that finish as Parker and Sherri get into the other ring and kiss. At the same time the Nasty Boys are here and rip Slater’s boot off to smack him in the head with it to give the Heat the titles. While this is happening, Sherri and Parker are still kissing. I hate this show.

Rating: F+. This was just terrible. The ending sucked and the match was worse. Who thought that Buck and Slater were the best options? Seriously, the American Males were on the preshow. They’re not the best in the world by any stretch of the imagination but they’re better than Buck and Slater. It’s stuff like this that is freaking idiotic and gave WCW the bad name it had.

Buck is ticked at Parker and lets him know. We’ll ignore the fact that he is perfect coherent and only has a mild southern accent despite allegedly being a mindless tough guy. Parker says he feels like he’s 20 years old and is in love. Oh dear. This went more or less nowhere as they managed the Heat as co-managers for awhile until they realized Booker had real talent and gave him a push.

Halloween Havoc is coming. Oh man that show. It might be dumber than Uncensored 96 if you can believe that.

Arn Anderson is with Gene as we see a package about this feud. Basically, Flair had used Arn as a guy to do his dirty work while Flair was obsessed with Hogan. It got to the point where they lost a handicap match to Vader. That’s insane when you think about it.

Yes, this is the time where Flair became the insane man that is obsessed with Hogan that he is now. Back in reality, Arn says that this has to happen even though he loves Flair, but win lose or draw, he’s going to respect himself in the morning and Flair is going to respect him. Ok, there is no way at all this can’t be awesome.

Ric Flair vs. Arn Anderson

Ok, now this is actually cool. Arn always dominated the lower card to midcard while Flair was always world champion. Why did Arn never get a shot? Something interesting to note is a Flair 3:16 sign in the crowd a full 9 months before Austin gave him famous speech. A bunch of wrestlers are here to watch this. For old school fans, this is a very odd match indeed. It’s scary how much darker Anderson is than Flair.

Heenan says Flair has been a jerk. Now that’s not something you’ll hear often. Anderson goes to the arm which is his normal thing. And let’s blame Hogan for this to make sure he’s mentioned in most of if not all of the segments. This is a very slow start but that’s all fine and good I think. This is a huge match that can do what it wants.

They get a lot of counters and technical stuff in there as the announcers ask why Arn never got a shot. Oh and they try to make it sound like WCW was the company that went worldwide first. I’ll let them have that because even they can’t believe that one. They simply can’t. Arn gets a weak sleeper as the fans don’t know who to cheer for here. It never ceases to amaze me how simple things like arm work can do so much for a match.

Ok again Tony says that Flair is Arn’s cousin. This is a common thing to be said and for the maybe 3 people that don’t know otherwise, it’s true. Flair is Anderson’s cousin by way of their aunt Clotilda. Not true but I wanted to work the name Clotilda into a review for various psychotic reasons. Flair was often billed as a cousin to the Andersons back in the old days as a way to validate them being partners. That’s where that comes from.

It really is cool to see two guys that know each other this well FINALLY have a match. Flair goes up and actually gets his shot. That’s amazing to say the least. Heenan gets on too much of a rant and says that if Flair gets the figure four on then the referee will have to stop it and if Arn DDTs Flair….well that’s another story but neither guy will give up. That got a laugh out of me.

The knee drop completely misses but is sold anyway. Arn just goes off on Flair in the corner and it’s awesome. I love how sometimes Bobby gets on a roll and Tony has to just ignore him due to how out of left field some of the stuff is. Flair takes over for awhile with his usual stuff. There’s a feeling to this match that you just don’t get that often. Flair gets stuck in the Tree of Woe and Arn chokes away.

It’s hard to tell if Arn is being evil or if he hates Flair. DDT is blocked. Arn calls a spot to Flair on a two count. Figure Four is almost on but Arn blocks the leg. Never mind it didn’t work. Flair spits at him and Arn is FIRED UP. Crowd is WAY into this.

With Arn holding his knee, Brian Pillman of all people gets up on the apron and they trade punches. Pillman kicks him in the back of the head and Flair staggers into the DDT for the pin. This would be explained in solid detail, especially at Halloween Havoc so I’ll spare you the spoilers.

Rating: A-. Just a great match that felt like a bit match. Did you really expect this match to not be awesome? It was as great as you would expect it to be as Arn got to show that he could have a great match against a guy like Flair and beat him. That’s something he never really got to do and it needed to happen. Great match.

Taskmaster gives a messed up interview about Hogan. Just wait until you hear the lineups here and you’ll see why no one really cared about this match, despite how great of a gimmick match it is.

Now for those of you that don’t know the rules, here you go. You have two teams of four men. A guy from each team is sent in and they fight for five minutes. Then there is a coin toss to determine which team gets to go in next (the heels literally never lost this).

This gives the team that won a 2-1 advantage which lasts for two minutes. After those two minutes pass, we get a member from the losing team in to make it 2-2. After two more minutes, we get another member from the team that won. They alternate every two minutes until we have all 8 in. Then it’s first submission wins.

We get a recap of the feud including clips of the segment where the faces BLOW UP A BUILDING.

The face team talks about how they all have drank Agent Orange so they can’t get hurt. Hogan calls the Dungeon of Doom the Dungeon of Goom. Is that supposed to be an insult? I’m actually not sure.

WarGames: Hulkamaniacs vs. Dungeon of Doom

Dungeon: Meng, Kamala, Shark, Zodiac
Hulkamaniacs: Hulk Hogan, Lex Luger, Sting, Randy Savage

Gee, thing it’s one sided enough??? Luger replaced Vader who jumped to WWF a week earlier. They say a stipulation has been added where if Team Hogan wins, he gets 5 minutes with the Taskmaster in the cage tonight. They announced that earlier but maybe the crowd didn’t know yet. Now remember, we have Hogan, Luger, Sting and Savage, a WCW All-Star team vs. Kamala, Haku, Brutus Beefcake and Earthquake. Yeah this is a main event apparently.

Ok to be fair, this is the major feud in the company in their signature match so that makes sense. I have no issue there. I just don’t think this is the best they could do. Why not Flair and Anderson with two other guys? It would at least be more interesting. Sting and Shark start us off. More or less Sting massacres him as you would expect. Shark finally gets some offense in after Sting goes for a slam like the idiot he tended to be.

Sting is one of my favorites ever, but he did some DUMB stuff at times. In a funny spot, Shark goes to the end of one ring and after a running start, JUMPS OVER THE ROPE. However he doesn’t make it all the way as he gets stuck on the two sets of ropes over the gap in the rings. What a visual.

With 30 seconds to go before another guy comes in, Sting goes for the leg. With three seconds to go the Scorpion is on. The heels win the toss (naturally) and Zodiac comes in. In a cool spot, Sting grabs the top of the cage and pulls himself up and kicks Zodiac in the head. Sting does what he can but there is too much fat in there.

Savage comes in to tie it up. Like a crazy man he tries to suplex Shark. Are we really supposed to believe Sting and Savage can’t handle these two? The cage isn’t that great so Savage’s leg is hanging out of the cage and the heels are beating on it. His partners ignore him of course so there we are. Kamala comes in as it’s 3-2. Has Kamala ever won a big match? I don’t think so.

Luger makes it 3-3. There just isn’t much to say about this match as the periods are too short to really get anything going. Also the face team is so ridiculously stacked that there’s no drama whatsoever. Luger accidentally hits Savage to attempt to give us some drama as Meng comes in to make it 4-3. Ok now why would Meng hit Luger there? Savage is using energy and hurting Luger so why stop him? The heels dominate for the rest of the period and here he is.

Hogan is the final guy in of course and he has powder. Not only does he have a far better roster of guys but he comes in and cheats. That’s Hogan for you I guess. Naturally he beats up the four guys more or less on his own when Sting, Luger and Savage combined couldn’t do it. That makes perfect sense right?

Heenan says this is like Bosnia. Even Tony stops him on that one. It’s just total domination here as you would expect. This is totally boring at this point as there is no way the heels are winning it. And Hogan gets a TERRIBLE camel clutch on Zodiac for the submission to win.

Rating: D. And that’s with an elevated rating due to it being WarGames. This was just AWFUL as it was so painfully boring. There was never any drama at all. I mean look at the rosters. Would you believe for a second that Hogan’s team was ever going to lose? Of course not and no one bought the heels as having a chance. It could have been worse I guess. Ok no it couldn’t be. One of the weakest WarGames ever.

Sullivan fights Hogan now in really just a beating rather than a match. Everyone else is gone at this point so keep that in mind. Sullivan is nearly a foot shorter than Hogan. It’s very amusing to see. And here’s the Giant to sneak up on Hogan. He jumps over the ropes as he was just awesome at this time.

He does something to Hogan’s neck which put him out for awhile before the inevitable match at Halloween Havoc. Sting, Savage and Luger run out for the save as Hogan is hurt to end the show. Heenan is freaking happy to say the least.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a show where various things give and take from it. You have two GREAT matches, a non match, a title change that had to happen, a terrible title match, and a terrible main event but FINALLY something different to end the show.

This could have been FAR worse had they not had their great stuff in there like they did. Two great matches and a horrible main event make this mostly passable I guess though. Definitely check those two out as they’re great and combine for nearly an hour of the show. Other than that, take a pass.

Impact
Date: March 31, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: R-V-Damed!!!

So we’ve got three more shows before Lockdown which seems like a lot for some reason.  It’s nice to have them focusing on a PPV instead of a TV show though as this gives us something to look forward to at the PPV.  Last week’s show gives me some hope for this week although I really hope we won’t get another #1 contender’s match tonight.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the #1 contender’s match last week with Anderson getting disqualified.  Sting claims he didn’t call for the bell so Anderson accuses Sting of being afraid to face him.

In the arena and Anderson more or less runs Earl Hebner to the ring.  Anderson gets in Hebner’s face, yelling at him about ringing the bell and handing the match to RVD.  Hebner says that Anderson needs to show respect to the striped shirt and that Anderson was disqualified for disrespecting Sting, the referee last week.  Hebner says the decision stands and  if Anderson tries anything or disrespects him then Anderson will be suspended for 90 days period.

Hebner tries to leave but Anderson grabs him and sets for the Mic Check.  Hebner’s son, fellow referee Brian Hebner, comes out for the save so Anderson says go for it.  Anderson wants to know if Earl is going to screw him over now too since that’s what he does.  Earl pulls his fist back until Sting comes down for the save.  Sting says pick on him instead and Anderson says this is his country.  Sting drills him and the security comes out to pull them apart.

Cue RVD, now complete with his memory, comes out and says he doesn’t want the win like that and tells Hebner to make it a threeway at Lockdown.  He can’t do that though, but apparently he can make it stand?  Makes sense actually.  Cue Hogan to say ok let’s do that.  What a shock: the #1 contender’s match again meant nothing.  Bischoff has a ratings idea so tonight it’s the three in the ring vs. Flair’s team of Abyss, Matt and Bubba in a cage.  Sting and Anderson brawl as we go to a break.

Back and Anderson has no comment.

RVD says he likes having everyone in the ring at once because he can take care of all of them at once.

Sting says he’ll get an apology for the disrespect from Anderson.

Shannon Moore vs. Scott Steiner up next.  As Gorilla would say “A main event anywhere in the world.”

Shannon says he’s the new generation and he disrespected Steiner because he has no respect for Steiner.

Steiner says that’s not disrespect.  If he wanted to disrespect Shannon he’d spend the night with his girlfriend.  This is going to be a beatdown, not a match.

Bubba says that he’s not wanting to talk about AJ and he lets his attitude do the talking.  There’s a chip on his shoulder and Hogan wants to borrow it.  Ok then.

Jordan and Young are on their way to the ring.  I guess they’re up next now.

The Jarretts are talking to Hogan and Bischoff, more or less begging to call off the Angle match.  Didn’t Angle say he’d get the Jarretts if he tried to do this?  There’s a Rob Terry thing apparently to take care of Angle.  Hogan calls Karen the key to this.

Scott Steiner vs. Shannon Moore

Orlando Jordan and Eric Young are on commentary here…just because I guess.  Crimson and Neal are here as seconds.  Young has an announcement and they’re going to be in a four way tag match at Lockdown.  Steiner/Crimson vs. Ink Inc vs. Jordan/Young vs. a mystery team.  Jordan is dressed like a peacock.  I’ve got nothing.  Young says the mystery team might be Demolition.  That would be awesome.

Moore tries to run and gets thrown back in by Crimson to let the beating begin.  Steiner is destroying him here wit his power stuff.  The referee gets in the way a bit as Steiner drops Moore with a back elbow.  Belly to belly gets two.  Young speculates on the Beverly Brothers.  It’s always fun to hear obscure names like those dropped.  Moore gets in a shot to the leg and does some pushups to tick Scott off.

Shannon puts on Steiner’s headgear but misses a moonsault.  There are all kinds of sexual jokes from Jordan and Young here, none of which are really all that funny.  Steiner wakes up and starts the proper squashing here.  Frankensteiner from the top ends this at 4:25.  Was there ever any real doubt as to the ending?

Rating: D. Boring match here as Steiner was never in any real danger and it was just a step past an extended squash.  Nothing of note here at all but at least we got some wrestling here.  At least this stupid feud is mostly over now though.  I still don’t get the appeal of Moore and I never have.

Jordan and Young with Jordan in rainbow wings and what can best be described as feather briefs, go to the ring to congratulate the winners but are jumped by Doug Williams and Brutus Magnus who apparently are the fourth team.  Good job with Williams guys: from a face that is stealing the show with AJ to a heel in the same generic tag team he was in years ago.

Back with Anderson talking to a poster of himself.  The poster says that he won’t apologize to Sting.

The Jarretts are complaining about Anderson being on the poster.  HEY!  Did you know that ANDERSON is supposed to be the star of this show?  Didn’t know if they made that clear enough with his three of four appearances in 40 minutes.  Karen is mad at Jeff in case the plan doesn’t work and he has to face Kurt at Lockdown.  Jeff says it’s ok.

We recap Generation Me being awesome but apparently Jeremy has turned on Max and Max isn’t happy about it.  This is about one trying to get the title at the last PPV.

Max Buck vs. Jeremy Buck

Jeremy is mad about Max stealing the glory.  They go incredibly fast paced of course with Max being sent to the floor.  Jeremy invites Max back into the ring which is accepted.  Jeremy tries a handshake but is pulled into a headlock.  We’re getting a lot of quick covers and counters here but now Max is getting all ticked off.  Rana by Jeremy gets two.

Max sends him to the floor and Jeremy might have hurt his elbow.  Now Max holds the ropes open for Jeremy just like Jermy did for him earlier.  Max kicks him in the head though and adds a jumping flipping cutter from the top rope to end this at 4:00.  Cool finisher to say the least.

Rating: C. Pretty fun match here but the feud just came and went.  We haven’t heard from them since the PPV, they have a random match on Impact and now they’re done.  I guess that’s all there is to this though so at least it’s done.  Fun match with lots of fast spots so a nice alternative to the previous match.

Fourtune is here and are happy about someone arriving at an airport.

Back with Winter giving Angelina a drink and talking to her about Velvet.  Methinks hijinks are afoot with that cup.

We recap the Angelina and Winter stuff with Velvet not being able to see her at first and then Winter being all psycho protective over Angelina.  We get what is probably the 6^th use of the word witch in 50 minutes during this.

Winter vs. Velvet Sky

The match starts after the break.  Back with the bell and Velvet charging straight at Winter.  Lots of shoulders into the corner follow and Velvet is in control.  Never mind as it’s off to Winter as Taz babbles about how hot they look and something about Lelani Kai.  Winter keeps up the beating and gets a backbreaker for two.  Velvet comes back and gets some clothesline to take Winter down.  Bulldog puts her down again but Angelina comes down the aisle.  She’s all trance like as Winter drills Velvet.  A spinning backbreaker sets up a kind of choke to end Velvet at 3:57.  Angelina continues to just stand there and not move.

Rating: D. Pretty weak match here as the drink thing gave away the ending.  At least they’re finally going somewhere with the Winter being weird thing so at least we get some advancement other than Velvet and her whining every 8 seconds.  Weak match but the wrestling wasn’t the point here.

Here’s Anderson….again.  He calls out Sting and sucker punches him.  They brawl some more and go into the crowd.  After about two minutes, Immortal comes out for he beat down to get the advantage for the cage match later tonight.  Van Dam FINALLY comes out for the save and beats on Ray a bit.  He lets Immortal hammer on Anderson after saving Sting.  RVD leaves Anderson to the wolves.  Immortal throws Anderson to Sting who pops him and chases off Immortal.

The Jarretts pretend that Angle is attacking them on the phone, I’m assuming to the police.

Angle is up next against some mystery guy.  Gee I wonder if it could be the guy that Hogan mentioned by name as a potential solution for Kurt.

Back with Flair talking about how awesome Immortal is and how there’s no point to the match tonight as it’s a team against three individuals.  All three people talk about how awesome Immortal is.

Velvet complains about Winter and says you don’t come to TNA to mess with the Beautiful People.  She’s going to break the hold that Winter has on her no matter what it takes.

Here’s Kurt and he has no idea who he’s fighting tonight.  Kurt calls out Jeff Jarrett and here he comes, along with Rob Terry.  Yes, surprisingly enough it’s the guy that Hogan said was the solution to the Angle problem.  Is this supposed to be a surprise?

Rob Terry vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is in street clothes here.  Jarrett distracts Kurt to let Terry take over to start us off here.  Kurt gets a boot up but jumps into a front slam as he tries a cross body.  Terry gets him in a tombstone position but Kurt reverses into the ankle lock for the submission at 1:36.

Angle gets his hands on Jeff for a split second post match but only gets his shoe.  Kurt chases after Jarrett and chokes him with I think a shirt.  Angle Slam on the stage is reversed and Jeff runs backstage.  Kurt might catch him if he was actually running.  Jeff hides behind a wall or something and Kurt walks into some cops as Karen shouts.  Kurt is arrested and taken away.  I can’t wait to get to Lockdown so this can end already.  It was good to start but this has gone on far too long.

Fourtune isn’t sure what RVD is doing and they want to back up Sting tonight.  Roode talks about having a fourth person and that they need to go talk to someone.

Hogan and Bischoff say they can pick and choose whoever they want to join Immortal with how mad those three are at each other.

Matt Hardy/Abyss/Bully Ray vs. Sting/Rob Van Dam/Mr. Anderson

This is in a cage remember.  They have almost 25 minutes left in the show so this could get a lot of time.  Sting jumps Anderson as he’s doing the intro and suplexes him on the stage.  Flair hits RVD with a low blow and puts him in the cage.  Sting comes in and it’s 3-2 to start us off.  Stinger Splashes all around and the atomic drop by Hardy is no sold.  This is one of those annoying cage matches where you have to tag.

Immortal doesn’t seem to care about those rules though which is something I really like.  It’s a cage match where it’s supposed to be about survival, but make sure to tag in and out.  Anderson sits in a chair on the floor and watches as we take a break.  Back with Sting getting destroyed by all three Immortals.

As the beatdown continues here’s Hogan complete with back brace.  He tells Anderson to get in the cage but Anderson doesn’t want to.  Hogan calls him a jerk and Anderson wants to fight.  Hogan says he has glasses and a back brace and jumps Anderson.  Anderson is thrown in and I guess now the match REALLY begins.  Sting nails Anderson who gets rammed into the cage.

All Immortal here and Flair goes after a cameraman.  Ray wants to get the paint off Sting’s face.  Hardy gets two on Sting.  Ok, so now we’re going into tagging mode.  Uh…so why didn’t we do that in the first ten minutes?  Matt vs. Sting officially starts us I guess.  Sting hammers away but his knee is gone.  Off to Abyss with Ray shouting KILL HIM!  Off to Ray now as he and Abyss are in at the same time.

Sting avoids them and has them clothesline each other then clotheslines both of them to bring in Van Dam.  Anderson is down in a neutral corner.  Top rope kick looks to set up the Frog Splash but Anderson shoves him off and the Bubba Bomb ends Van Dam at 13:00.  Anderson bails as the beating continues on Sting and Van Dam.

Rating: C-. This was about what you expected.  The cage is there to preview Lockdown I guess but this wasn’t much of a match but rather an extended beatdown.  Not terrible, but kind of paint by numbers and nothing out of the ordinary.  That’s what the post match stuff is for, which we’ll get to now.

The beating continues but Fourtune hits the ring for the save.  Flair locks everyone in and Immortal takes over.  Kaz is busted open as there are a lot of chains in there for some reason.  Did Orlando visit the cage earlier?  With the beating continuing even longer, a bald man climbs the side of the cage.  It’s the returning CHRISTOPHER DANIELS who dives on Immortal and clears the cage as we take a break.

We get a quick recap of the match and post match stuff we just saw including Daniels with a big dive that looks pretty cool.

Flair rants about who Daniels is and Abyss says it’s AJ’s best friend.  Flair looks like the grandfather in a Shirley Temple movie.  Ray rants about how awesome the blood was.

Daniels, looking like he’s wearing eyeliner, says that it’s time to be back.  He says he’ll have Ray’s blood on his hands at Lockdown.  Kaz says he’s willing to bleed.  Apparently Daniels is the fourth man at Lockdown.  If AJ is out that’s as good a replacement as they can get I think so I can’t complain here.  Storm rants about how awesome Fourtune is and Daniels says TNA was built on blood.

Sting says that was just a warmup.  At Lockdown it’s SHOWTIME!

Anderson leaves with no comment.  Oh ok he just makes them in another room.  He’s mad about getting screwed over and Ran Dam jumps him.  Van Dam says thanks for tonight and leaves Anderson laying.  Anderson curses a lot as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t too bad but nothing that stood out here.  This was kind of a filler show to get to Lockdown but it was passable.  The cage match seemed a bit unnecessary but it served its purpose.  It’s got me wondering who is going to turn at Lockdown but I have a feeling it’s going to be the one that is least expected.  Also I’ve never been a fan of Daniels but if they need someone to fill in for Styles at the PPV he’s a nice surprise for a replacement.  Anyway not a bad show tonight but nothing worth going out of your way to see.

Results

Scott Steiner b. Shannon Moore – Frankensteiner

Max Buck b. Jeremy Buck – Flipping Cutter off the top

Winter b. Velvet Sky – Choke

Kurt Angle b. Rob Terry – Ankle Lock

Bully Ray/Matt Hardy/Abyss b. Sting/Mr. Anderson/Rob Van Dam – Bubba Bomb to Van Dam

Monday Nitro
Date: March 26, 2001
Location: Boardwalk Beach Resort, Panama City, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

So in case you’re not getting the date or the significance, this is the final Nitro. Three days prior to this (or so) Vince bought WCW from Turner and the Monday Night War came to an end. In short, this is it. This is the end of WCW vs. WWF. Vince has won and everyone knows it now. As for the show, it’s being billed as Night of Champions, despite there being two title matches but whatever. This is an historic show and I remember being SHOCKED, so let’s get to it.

We open with Vince McMahon in the Raw interview area, talking about how he’s bought the company and its fate is in his hands. Tonight there will be a simulcast where he’ll explain things. This is bizarre.

Even their intro video sucked at this point.

Scott and Tony talk about how stunned they are about this.

And here’s Ric Flair. Oh this should be good. His hair being spiked is just wrong for some reason. He gives a very emotional speech, talking about how great his time in the company has been, which based on what I’ve read is nonsense, but he belongs out there on the final show and that’s all there is to it. Flair breaks kayfabs and says that Vince’s Dad voted for him to be world champion back in 1981. This is mainly about the holding the company in the palm of your hands thing. Flair makes one final request: if this is the last night, he wants Sting one more time.

WCW World Title/US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T

This is title for title with Booker as US Champion. They slug it out in the middle and Booker hits a bit spinning heel kick to take over. This is outside mind you. We hear about how the US Champion is the #1 contender, which NEVER happened if you think about it, kind of making it a running joke. Midajah and her chest slaps Booker in the face.

Steiner swings a lead pipe at Booker but he hits the post instead in kind of a scary move. Scott moves onto a Bow and Arrow which doesn’t do much. A kind of botched dropkick and Booker starts his comeback. Ghetto Blaster (Axe kick) hits and we get a Spinarooni. Side Kick and it’s ALL Booker here. Book End is blocked for two. They’re FLYING through this. Book End is the counter to a powerbomb and it makes Booker the world champion again. Literally this didn’t break 6 minutes.

Rating: C-. Not terrible I guess considering they had to fly through this but there wasn’t much here. No one can beat Steiner in like 4 months and Booker does it in five minutes? They couldn’t give this a few more minutes? It was kind of a formality I guess but it just could have been done far better. Not awful though.

Vince blasts Panama City and WCW. Great to see that Vince spent millions of dollars on something that sucked.

3 Count vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Kaz Hayashi/Yun Yang

Winners get a Cruiserweight Tag Title shot later. Yang is more commonly known as Jimmy Wang Yang and a member of 3 Count is now Shannon Moore. Everybody does a bunch of flips and dives to the floor with no rhyme or reason to them. Yang sends Rey into the buckle and hits a huge corkscrew moonsault called Yang Time. This is under tornado rules apparently. BIG 450 from Evan Karagis but Kidman makes the save. For the finish, imagine Moore being in position for Orton’s DDT but turned face up. Rey hits a springboard legdrop on him there to end it. I didn’t skip anything in the description. It was really that fast.

Rating: C+. Entertaining match but at under four minutes how into it can you get? This was just to give the challengers a disadvantage against Skipper and Romeo later on. The spots were shaky but hey, it’s the last night of the company so who cares? Not bad but nothing we haven’t seen a million times before and better.

Trish brings Vince some champagne but they make out instead.

We recap the GREAT Chavo vs. Helms rivalry.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Shane Helms

Back in the dying days of WCW, one of the few things they NAILED was Chavo, who was absolutely awesome for about a year before the company closed. Shane has an intro with dancing girls a rap that he performs and lights. Shane was very popular as well mainly due to just doing awesome things in the ring. Nice belly to back by Chavo as the fans actually seem into this.

Tony tries to talk about how WCW has been about the youth. That’s just funny. Actually it isn’t, because having that not be the case is a big reason as to why the company died. High cross body from the top for the champion for two. T-Bone gets two. Ton of reversals into a Northern Lights Suplex for two. Very fast paced match here.

More reversals into the Sugar Smack (Superkick) and then the Vertebreaker is blocked. He can’t get out of the second one and it ends the match. That move is both awesome but also scary at the same time, which makes me understand why they wouldn’t let it be used in the WWF, as it was just too much of a liability.

Rating: B-. Again good match but at like four and a half minutes how into it can you get? Everything is in fast forward speed tonight and it’s kind of taking me out of the show. This is the polished up version of WCW since it’s not being treated like a serious company anymore but rather an All Star show, which helps it a lot I think. Nothing special here, but good enough.

Ad for Slim Jims with Randy Savage, who was out of WCW for about a year at this point if not more. Yeah his last match in WCW was in August of 99.

Remember the Titans is on VHS and DVD. That’s amusing.

Booker says he’s not done yet.

Tag Titles: Lance Storm/Mike Awesome vs. Chuck Palumbo/Sean O’Haire

The more famous guys are challenging. Team Canada won a non-title match last week to get this. See, why is logic like that so complicated? That’s a basic story and it gives perfect justification as to why we are where we are here. After a quick break, Vince is with Trish again and Cole interrupts them. He says a bunch of WCW related people are worried and Vince threatens to fire Cole. PLEASE DO IT VINCE!

Storm of course starts with technical stuff. Tony almost says World Tag Titles but has to shift to WCW Tag Titles. Slingshot splash by Awesome for two. Hot tag to O’Haire and he beats the crap out of Awesome, hitting his weird reverse Samoan Drop. I could watch Lance Storm throw superkicks all day. Palumbo hits his Jungle (super) kick and the Shawnton Bomb ends it.

Rating: C-. I always liked all four of these guys so I was a fan of this feud. The match of course was really short so it’s kind of hard to grade, but at the same time this was ok I guess. It put the champions over and didn’t give us a title change for the sake of a title change, so I can’t really complain about that at all. Decent match but again nothing great at all.

Recap of Bigelow vs. Stasiak. Stasiak has Stacy and is doing something close to what Dolph Ziggler is doing at the moment. If he loses he has to get a tattoo.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

They set this up last week so they have to throw it on here. Bigelow brings the tattoo kit with him. These two feuded for a few months and we were never told why they got so much time. I guess someone thought it was a good idea for some reason? Flying….something misses from Stasiak and Bigelow goes up for the headbutt. It hits but there’s Stacy to be hot. She interferes and a neckbreaker from Shawn ends it.

Rating: N/A. At least we got to look at Stacy.

Regal shows off his shirt to Vince. He tells Vince that it might be a bad idea to buy WCW. This was pointless.

We get a highlight reel of champions to play up the Night of Champions thing, which is always fun.

Vince says it’s just about that time.

Cruiserweight Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Elix Skipper/Kid Romeo

This was the final of the tournament to give us the original champions, 8 days prior. The announcers continue to insist how much WCW loves young guys. Romeo never did anything at all but Skipper wound up in TNA. Kidman and Mysterio I think you know of. Hot tags to Rey and Skipper as it’s pretty clear that this is going to be another 3 minute or so match.

Scott points out that the champions were just thrown together. Bronco Buster to Elix (really Elix?) and it turns into a huge mess. Rey with a springboard falling headbutt for two but Skipper makes the save. More near falls follow and Kidman gets out of Skipper’s Play of the Day and hits the Kid Crusher (Killswitch) for the final title reign in the history of the belts.

Rating: B-. Another 4 minute yet still entertaining match. I remember when the titles were announced that more or less no one wanted to see them but when did that stop WCW? This wasn’t anything special at all but it was pretty solid I guess. Skipper and Romeo were just thrown together and told they were the best team. The belts lasted 8 days so it’s not like they meant anything.

Sting cuts a very energetic promo about fighting Flair one more time.

Vince is walking down a hall.

Ric Flair vs. Sting

Something just feels right about saying that. Flair is in a t-shirt here, which is fine with me as if nothing else it makes him look decent. He looks skinny as a rail here. The announcers point out that Sting never jumped but Flair did. Not exactly but hey who cares about history right? They recap Flair vs. Sting which is always fun. Hudson tries to talk about how Flair vs. Sting went against Mania 4. What Hudson isn’t mentioning is how badly WCW got slaughtered as Mania 4 outdrew Mania 3.

Tony talks about how we’ve seen this match thousands of times. I was thinking more like 15 but whatever. There’s the press slam from Sting which never gets old. And there’s the Flair Flop which brings a smile to my face. This is more or less Sting vs. Flair’s Greatest Hits as they’re just doing their basic spots. Dropkick misses and it’s time for the leg. Figure Four goes on and Sting is in trouble!

Could he submit? Will he give up? For the first time ever will Sting tap out to Flair? If you don’t know the answers to those questions, just leave now as I can’t help you. Basic comeback occurs and there’s the Scorpion for the tap out. They hug as they should do to end this.

Rating: C+. Like I said this was just the short version of their match as they had no angle or time here, but this wasn’t supposed to be a major match. It was a feel good moment which is what it was supposed to be. Fine for what it was, which is the best description that I can give it.

I’m going to cut the review here, because at this point the simulcast begins and since I’m going to do the Raw from this night next I’ll just review it in there since it’ll be literally the same stuff.

Overall Rating: C+. Well the idea of the night of champions thing was good but the breakneck pace of the show made it rather annoying as there was just too much going on at once. It’s ok I guess but it’s not much more than that. It says a lot that one of their best shows in years had no context or angles worth anything to speak of. This was an ok show, which obviously should be seen for historical purposes. Decent show for what it was, but more important or history than anything on the card itself.

Impact
Date: March 24, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Do the Math

It’s another week in the Impact Zone after last week’s pretty awful show.  For some reason I have a better feeling about this show tonight.  I hope we don’t have another #1 contenders match tonight as there seems to be one on every show.  Other than that we continue on the Road to Lockdown.  Let’s get to it.

We open with clips of Anderson wanting a title shot last week and the segments with Hogan.  Oh and they swear a lot.  This has various editing in it so they have the same thing said multiple times and with different voice effects.

In the arena it’s Anderson and some guy in a suit.  There’s what appears to be a dry erase board in the ring.  Into the ring and there’s a bunch of math and formulas on the board.  This guy is apparently a professor from the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay and is a mathematician.  He talks about how Hogan and Bischoff are trying to mess this up for him.  Last week there was a double pin last week which he draws on the board.

Anderson never got a rematch and when you add up everything, WHERE IS HIS FREAKING REMATCH???  The professor says he does deserve a rematch and that’s it from him.  Oh wait Anderson wants to talk about some chick he wants to sleep with back in college.  Anderson implies the professor wanted to sleep with her too which the professor admits to.

The girl told Anderson that the professor told her that Anderson was gay.  The professor admits to it and Anderson says that’s cool.  Say it with me: Mic Check to the professor.  Nothing for Mary Ann?  Cue Hogan and Bischoff.  The professor is out cold under the board.  Bischoff doesn’t see what Hogan sees in Anderson and that the Network won’t like this.  Eric says that this is all Hogan’s deal.

Hogan likes what Anderson did to the professor, saying that he thought it was entertaining.  Anderson has been running amuck recently and Hogan doesn’t like it.  Hogan doesn’t like the idea of Anderson not doing things his way, the Immortal way.  There won’t be a rematch unless Anderson earns it.  The rematch contract doesn’t count because it’s signed by Dixie.  That does cover why his win in the triple threat back in February is worthless so points for that.  It’s RVD vs. Anderson tonight for the shot at Sting.  Anderson says RVD isn’t in his league.

Cue RVD as we take a break.  Back with RVD saying say what you were saying right now to Anderson.  Anderson says he’ll say it in the ring and calls Hogan a douchebag.  Hogan likes that and talks about playing in a sandbox with a perverted professor.  RVD isn’t sure why he signed with TNA in the first place.  He’s tired of being held back by Hogan and Bischoff and this needs to be RVDTV.

Sweet goodness it’s Sting now as I guess 20 minutes of talking isn’t enough to open a show.  I wasn’t huge on Sting’s new look at first but it’s growing on me.  He got a call from the Network also and they want Sting to be the enforcer in the main event tonight.  Dang the Network called him fast.  Granted they might have known about the match in advance I guess.

We get an update on AJ who has a bruiser spinal cord and he’ll be out indefinitely.

Tara vs. Mickie next.

Mickie James vs. Tara

What in the world happened to the Knockouts division?  This should be a great match but it’s been done into the ground.  Madison tells Tara to take Mickie down tonight no matter what it takes.  Naturally there’s a Charlie Sheen reference because everyone loves him still right?  We do get the Broken song though so I’m happy there.  Mickie dominates to start us off with a Thesz Press and a flapjack.
Tara is more or less in a bikini with a slightly longer top.  Can’t say I’m complaining.  Tara counters a rana attempt by Mickie into a powerbomb.  Tara goes up and gets crotched but fights Mickie off.  In a rather awesome looking move Tara does something that is kind of similar to a Styles Clash but instead of the ending to the Clash she landed in a Boston Crab position.  That was pretty cool looking.  Didn’t get the submission but the setup was cool.  Widow’s Peak attempt doesn’t work and a HUGE jumping DDT ends Tara at 3:20.

Rating: C+. These two fight a lot and I think I can see why.  First of all they’re both gorgeous and second of all they have good matches.  That DDT was awesome looking and is far better than whatever she uses usually.  I know she’s used it before but that was the first time I’ve seen it in awhile.  Good match here despite it being pretty short.

Anderson and Sting argue a bit in the back and Anderson wants to know a name at the Network.  There’s no name apparently and it’s just The Network.  That makes no sense so it’s probably a very important plot point for a major storyline.

We recap the borderline sexual assault on Okato last week by Pope.

Joe talks to Okato who has a match tonight.  Okato says something in Japanese.

Okato vs. D’Angelo Dinero

The announcer calls him Okada while the screen says Okato.  Okato jumps him immediately and is wrestling in that Jimmy Jack Funk mask.  After a quick attack to start he misses a dropkick off the top and here comes Pope.  The ropes are making loud noises whenever they’re hit tonight.  Pope vs. Joe at Lockdown.

Pope rams a bunch of knees into Okato’s head as he’s hanging over the apron.  He takes the boot off and drills Okato in the head with it, then takes the glove off to reveal a bunch of rings.  An uppercut with that is enough for a DQ at 2:28.  Barely even a match here as other than about 8 seconds at the beginning it was all Pope.  Pope pops the referee also and beats up Okato a bit more until Joe makes the save.  BIG reaction for Joe.

Video on Sting that we’ve seen like three times now which is about how he got into wrestling and loves TNA now.  TNA needed a hero so he came back.  Lots of Hardy mentions in this video which I’m not sure what to think of.

Now we get a video on Angle vs. Jarrett.  Is there a reason why we’re seeing a promo video for Lockdown in the middle of a show?  They’re good videos but I’m a bit confused as to why they’re airing here.

All show we’ve heard about Flair issuing a challenge to Fourtune.  That’s up next.

Back with RVD talking to Hogan.  Hogan thinks RVD is the guy and that he doesn’t get what Bischoff sees in Anderson.  He wants RVD to give it his all tonight and Van Dam leaves.  Hogan laughs and says what an idiot.

Here are Flair, Ray and Matt Hardy.  Flair talks about being God and how he’s going to hand the mic off to two great tag team wrestlers who are the best thing going today.  Wow indeed.  Matt looks so high it’s unreal.  He talks about being told they were the future 10 years ago but being stabbed in the back.  They’re going to stab Fourtune in the back but doing it straight ahead.

Bubba takes the mic and the fans chant for D-Von.  He talks about AJ not being here and how it’s because of Ray.  Apparently his Uncle Vito taught him to make people an offer they can’t refuse.  Ray asks for a 4-3 match at Lockdown.  Aren’t there only three of each?  Cue Fourtune minus AJ of course.

Kaz leads the charge and the fight is on.  Why are Flair’s clothes always ripped off in fights?  DWI attempt on Flair but the lights go red.  And Abyss is back and is the 4^th man.  There’s a chain brought in from somewhere and the big beating is on.  We take a break with Immortal standing tall.

Back with Abyss saying he’s stronger now and all that jazz.  He’s a monster don’t you know.

Here are Hernandez and his Mexican team, in this case the guy that ran in last week and Sarita/Rosita.  The guy is named El Anarchia.  The stable is called Mexican America apparently.  They’re taking our jobs, our women and our money because they’re the superior race.  Hernandez puts a Mexican flag over the American flag.  That flag is huge.  They call out Morgan who comes out with….he comes out with D-Von.

D-Von/Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez/Anarchia

This is a street fight.  There’s the massive Mexican flag above the ring and a British flag in the stands.  Holy international show!  Moregan and Hernandez in the ring with a fallaway slam taking Hernandez down.  The elbows in the corner set up a clothesline to send Supermex to the floor.  Velvet Sky runs down because this isn’t making enough sense already and she fights with the girls.

Angelina Love (blast that Jersey Shore chick so I now have to explain things) walks out very slowly but doesn’t do anything.  Winter comes out and screams ANGELINA.  Isn’t there like a MATCH going on right now?  Angelina leaves and we go back to the mach.  Anarchia hits D-Von with some object to end this at 3:40.  I know that’s long enough to grade but considering we saw maybe 90 seconds of the actual match and the rest was on the girls, no rating.

Scott Steiner/Crimson vs. Ink Inc

Glad to see Crimson actually getting some camera time.  Neal looks like he’s in boxers.  Total squash to start with Neal getting destroyed by both guys.  Moore comes in and gets beaten down also.  He gets the first offense of the match for his team in the form of a moonsault press.  Shannon goes to tag Jesse but Jesse is still hurt.  Instead he jumps into the Red Alert to end it 3:05.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here as I guess they’re splitting up Ink Inc now too.  Other than Beer Money who in the world is left for this division?  Unless we’re going to go back to the Guns vs. Beer Money again, I have no idea where else they’re going with it.  Total squash here with Ink Inc getting in a combined 2 moves.

Neal shows respect post match but Moore takes the head gear of Steiner and wipes himself with it and throws it at Steiner.  Neal yells at him for it.

Video of the Anderson vs. RVD match at Victory Road.

Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson

This match is happening because Earl Hebner never got to declare a winner.  So, in the last week, no one like, asked him who won?  Basic stuff to start us off as Anderson gets a neckbreaker for two.  Sting is the outside referee so they might as well stamp “Screwy finish” on this right now.  Backbreaker gets two.  Totally going through the motions here until we get to the ref bump.

And there it is as Anderson clotheslines the referee.  Chinlock by Anderson as Sting comes in as referee now.  Split legged moonsault gets two for RVD.  Rolling Thunder is avoided so RVD dives to the floor to take out Anderson.  Anderson fires a chair into the ring and Sting throws it out.  Mic Check into the post and RVD is done.  Anderson drills Sting and it’s a DQ at 6:43.  Ok, so RVD is #1 contender!  There is no way that there could be any other logical conclusion.

Rating: C-. The whole going through the motions thing got really annoying as they made it very clear that something was coming.  The ending just had to be screwy because that’s what they’re doing here to set up Lockdown, but now they’ve picked RVD.  Ok, that’s what I was hoping.  Just a winner.  I feel all at peace now.  I’m sure TNA will never find a way to change this.  Not them.  Not even a little bit.

Big pull apart brawl post match and we take a break.

Back with interviews with everyone involved in the match.  RVD doesn’t remember the match and thinks he has a title match tonight with Sting out of all this.  The interviewer corrects him and RVD is gone after the Mic Check into the post.  So another head injury angle?  Original guys, original.

Anderson wants to know why Sting is afraid of him.

Sting says he didn’t ring the bell.  Oh dear.  Oh dear indeed.  Anderson goes after Sting and they brawl again.  After they’re pulled apart Anderson wants to know who rang the bell.

Overall Rating: C. Far better than last week but I’m not sure what that’s really saying.  The ending likely is going to get changed because they’re dead set on that triple threat ending.  The pacing this week was WAY better with the wrestling being more spaced out.  Still not a great show really but it’s far better than last week.  I didn’t get annoyed during this one as I usually do, which is a good sign.  Much better show here.

Results

Mickie James b. Tara – Jumping DDT

Okato b. D’Angelo Dinero via DQ when Dinero hit Okato with rings on his hand

Hernandez/Anarchia b. D-Von/Matt Morgan – Anarchia pinned D-Von after hitting him with brass knuckles

Scott Steiner/Crimson b. Ink Inc – Red Alert to Moore

Rob Van Dam b. Mr. Anderson via DQ when Anderson hit the referee