Impact Wrestling
Date: July 19, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s Open Fight Night again and Roode is calling out Aries tonight. Why he would do this when he has a world title match at the next PPV is a bit of a mystery but that’s wrestling for you. We also might get an update on the Aces and 8’s faction which is a pretty cool idea. We haven’t had masked me in awhile so that’s kind of a cool thing. Let’s get to it.

After the standard opening recap, we have another recap of the Aces and 8’s beatdown last week.

Hogan is shown in the hospital, which is due to a legit back surgery.

Theme song hits. Get your reinforcements.

Bound For Glory Series standings:

James Storm 43

Samoa Joe 37

Kurt Angle 27

Jeff Hardy 21

Mr. Anderson 16

Rob Van Dam 14

Magnus 14

Christopher Daniels 12

AJ Styles 7

D’Angelo Dinero 7

Bully Ray 0

Robbie E 0

Tonight the high scorers get to do the callouts.

Here’s Storm to talk about Aries being the new champion and wanting the title shot no matter who it’s against. He hasn’t forgotten about Roode either, because the title is just business while Roode is personal. As for Aces and 8’s, if this was the wild west, he’d be the sheriff because he’s the Cowboy. While he doesn’t have a star on his chest, he has a set of balls. Hogan gets a shoutout but Storm wants Angle tonight.

Bound For Glory Series: James Storm vs. Kurt Angle

And there’s no Kurt. The music plays again and it’s Aces and 8’s in the back destroying Angle. We go to a break with Angle out cold and Tenay wondering if the guy in an American flag t-shirt with no hair that looks exactly like Angle is in fact Angle.

Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. D’Angelo Dinero

I’m not going to bother listing the quick callouts that happen unless anything significant is said in them. Dinero tries to knock Joe into the corner but Joe pounds him with elbows and an enziguri to take over. Joe pops him in the face but gets sent into the corner and out to the floor. Back in and Pope hits a powerslam for two and it’s off to the Rings of Saturn. Pope starts pounding away and gets caught in a cross armbreaker for the tap at 3:20.

Rating: C. See how easy it is to push Joe as a submissions master? It goes this fast and Joe continues to dominate the Series. Pope is still floundering and it’s still pretty dull to see him out there as he’s nothing more than a jobber at this point. Still though, they need people like that in the Series to keep things interesting. This wasn’t bad though and Pope looked good.

Roode denies having any connection to Aces and 8’s despite being the last guy seen with Hogan before the attack. He’ll prove Destination X was a fluke later too.

Bound For Glory Series; Jeff Hardy vs. Robbie E

Jeff says he has someone in mind to call out but Robbie E interrupts. T jumps Hardy to take over but Hardy realizes he’s Jeff Hardy and takes over with his usual stuff. T interferes again to send Jeff out to the floor. That gets two for E but Jeff comes back again and hits the Whisper in the Wind for two. A plancha to the floor misses as T shoved E out of the way. Jeff fights T up the aisle and E wins by countout at 2:49.

ODB and Eric Young are in the back and Eric is back. It turns into a plug for his fish show.

We recap Clair/Daniels/Kaz with Clair saying that AJ is her baby’s papa.

Daniels rants a lot as does Kaz, saying that AJ is a coward.

Smoe guy named Sam Shaw comes out for Gut Check and while he’s talking, here are Aces and 8’s. There are six of them this time. The beating continues as they go to a break.

Post break Shaw is helped up.

Bound For Glory Series: Mr. Anderson vs. AJ Styles

Anderson works over the arm and hits a hiptoss to take over. He hooks an armbar but AJ counters into a headscissors. They stay on the mat for a bit until a stalemate takes us to a break. Back with Anderson holding a headlock but AJ comes back with the drop down/kick sequence. AJ grabs the arm but gets elbowed in the face and a neckbreaker puts Styles down for two. Anderson hooks a cravate for a submission attempt but Styles rams him into the buckle to escape. Springboard forearm gets two for AJ.

Mic Check and Clash are countered as we’re getting close to fifteen minutes here. Regal Roll gets two for Anderson but the Mic Check is countered again. AJ goes up but Mr. snaps off a superplex with AJ landing on his arm. That only gets two for both guys as we have less than two minutes left. Pele out of nowhere (missed by the announcers) sets up the Clash but Anderson counters and they hit the mat with Anderson getting a pin out of nowhere at 13:38.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t really hitting on all cylinders but it worked well enough all things considered. Anderson needs some points and having him get a clean pin over Styles isn’t going to hurt anything at all. Besides AJ has bigger things to worry about right now, and here she comes to continue the soap opera portion of your show.

Clair comes over the rail and yells about the night that AJ came to the hotel but AJ doesn’t remember it. She says Styles was drinking that night too but Styles says this was all in her head. Clair has pictures of them in bed together with AJ looking very drugged/drunk.

Back and we look at the pictures again with AJ looking stunned in the back.

Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. Christopher Daniels

Some MMA guy is on commentary here because when you watch wrestling, you think MMA. Van Dam fires off some kicks but Daniels comes back with an elbow to the face. Daniels gets caught in an abdominal stretch, only for Daniels to fall backwards into the ropes. Back in after a quick run to the floor and Daniels hits the slingshot elbow for two. The MMA guy at least is interested here and sounds like a wrestling fan.

Daniels drops a knee to the back and puts on a chinlock with a knee in the back. Van Dam escapes and superkicks Daniels down, followed by a monkey flip. Five Star misses so RVD hits the walk over kick to take Daniels down. Rolling Thunder misses and Daniels rolls Van Dam up with feet on the ropes for the pin at 4:13.

Rating: C. Not bad again here and the announcer wasn’t that annoying for the most part. Daniels is doing a great job at being completely evil and that’s the right thing for him to do. RVD is fine for a warm body in the Series, which means that he’ll wind up in the middle of the standings and will get some wins here and there. This was fine.

Austin Aries says he can trump anything Roode can do. He finds playing cards on the floor and says he can trump Aces and 8’s too.

It’s Brooke Hogan time! She does a phone interview to talk about her dad’s injuries and how her dad doesn’t know what he’s in for. Nothing of note is said here.

Joseph Park offers his legal services to Garrett Bischoff as a way to talk about what happened last week when Park snapped. Park says that was all him.

Bound For Glory Series: Magnus vs. Bully Ray

Ray jumps Magnus in the aisle but Magnus fights back. Magnus sends him into the barricade and heads into the ring for the bell. Ray kicks him in the chest to take over but I think he was aiming for the face. Ray chops him in the corner and slams him down, but the splash misses. Magnus makes his comeback and throws on a Texas Cloverleaf but Ray makes the rope. Falcon’s Arrow gets two for Magnus. He misses a middle rope elbow though and it’s the Bully Cutter for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but Ray finally gets some points. Magnus has everything you need to be something good but for some reason he’s never risen above the level of a jobber. Unfortunately we didn’t get any Joseph Park stuff here but this got the job done well enough I guess.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. debuts next week.

Here’s Roode to call out Aries. That’ll be after a break though.

Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode

Non-title of course, because why would you think of asking for a title match in a match where you have to accept said challenge? Aries snaps off an armdrag followed by Roode getting sent into the corner. The fans sound like they say they want t-shirts. Roode sends him to the apron but Aries counters and hits a slingshot hilo for two. Roode goes face first into the apron so Aries dives on him on the outside as we take a break.

Back with Aries in trouble as Roode hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. A spinebuster gets the same and it’s time for a chinlock. Aries fights up but walks into an elbow to the face to put him right back down. Aries gets up again and they slug it out but the spinning forearm gets caught in an armbar. Last Chancery goes on but Roode breaks out and hits the spear for two.

Roode loads up a superplex but Aries knees him in the head to escape. A missile dropkick puts Roode down but the brainbuster is countered into the Crossface. Aries hits the discus forearm and clotheslines Roode to the floor, followed by the suicide dive. And here are Aces and 8’s for the DQ at 13:42.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good and I guess this is supposed to prove that Roode is behind this, but that would make no sense as they appeared before he lost the title. Aries getting beaten down is a nice touch as it shows that it’s a company wide problem, but it doesn’t answer any questions. This was the only ending they could go with though, as if Roode won then Aries is a fluke but if Aries won, why watch the PPV match?

Roode gets beaten up too and it’s a big beatdown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show has really slowed down a lot in the last few weeks, but there was still some good stuff tonight. Aces and 8’s is still an interesting idea but with these random attacks, they’re not really going anywhere yet. That’ll change when Hogan and Sting get back or when someone mounts an attack against them. As usual though, the problem with Open Fight Night is that nothing of note happens from it. These matches could happen on any show and the calling out means nothing at all. Not a horrible show but it was nothing great at all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Hardcore Justice 2
Date: July 5, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Jeremy Borash

It’s the third One Night Only show with an odd title. There were three regular PPVs called Hardcore Justice, so how can this be the second one? Anyway the theme of the night is obvious, but the bonus attraction is bringing back people who haven’t performed for the company in a long time, such as Generation Me and Homicide. There are a ton of gimmick matches tonight so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how the company goes hardcore one night of the year. We get clips of the matches we’re about to watch.

Every match tonight will be some form of a hardcore match.

We get a highlight reel of hardcore moments in TNA’s history.

Disciples of the New Church vs. LAX

This is a street fight. The Disciples are a team from the early days of the company and are comprised of Sinn (Kizarny from about five years ago in WWE) and Slash (member of PG-13, a Memphis tag team). Sinn is in a tie and pink pants and Slash is in something resembling shoulder pads. Homicide starts with Slash (thankfully minus the pads) and the later howls a bit. A jumping back elbow gets two for Homicide as we’re still in the tagging portion of the match. Homicide gets two more off a tornado DDT out of the corner and it’s off to SuperMex.

Off to Slash who is immediately taken down by an over the shoulder backbreaker before being catapulted into a Homicide lariat for two. The Disciples take over on Homicide but Hernandez comes in to clean house as things break down. Hernandez puts on a hard hat for some reason as Homicide bulldogs Slash on the apron. Sinn gets beaten up with a stop sign before being sent back inside by Homicide.

All four guys are back in now and this is a pretty lame street fight. Slash misses a Swanton Bomb and gets choked by Homicide as we get back to the tagging. Homicide gets caught in a reverse FU from Slash but things break down again. Slash is sent to the floor and Homicide lays out Sinn with a Gringo Cutter, setting up a top rope splash from Hernandez for the pin.

Rating: D-. What in the world was this? The street fight portion of this lasted maybe two minutes and the rest was nothing more than a regular tag team match. The Disciples were a bad choice for this as almost no one remembers them and they were pretty terrible in the ring. LAX was a good team in their time but in a bubble like this they were just kind of there.

ODB is ready to get hardcore with Jack……DANG IT JACKIE MOORE IS HERE AGAIN.

Video on Jackie and ODB being hardcore.

Jackie Moore vs. ODB

This is a regular hardcore match. ODB takes her to the floor for some HARDCORE spanking but Jackie chops her back. Jackie brings in a broom and what appears to be Vaseline. ODB comes back with hair mousse down Jackie’s pants. Seriously just go with it. She finds some lipstick and a leather boot under the ring as my head is starting to hurt.

Jackie knocks her down with the boot before choking away with a veil. More broom stick shots to the back keep ODB down but she comes back with some forearms to the face followed by a Bronco Buster. Jackie throws powder in ODB’s face but ODB spits beer (from the flask) in Jackie’s face and the Bam (TKO) gets the pin.

Rating: F. If you need an explanation for this, you fail as a wrestling fan.

Bad Influence says they’re ready for Generation Me in their ladder match for $20,000. Daniels says he’s more of a softcore guy (“That Cinemax style.”) and rhymes a bit about Generation Me.

Bad Influence vs. Generation Me

Ladder match as mentioned and Generation Me are Max and Jeremy Buck. They all shake hands to start but but everyone turns on everyone like true heels should. Generation Me takes over with some quick neckbreakers but Bad Influence takes them down with strikes. We get the first ladders brought in as this is moving very fast so far. Jeremy starts climbing but Kaz pelts another ladder at him for the save. The fans seem to be behind the Bucks as Kaz hits a TKO on Max from the top of the ladder.

Daniels gets backdropped onto a ladder and Kaz gets the same via a monkey flip. A ladder is bridged between the ring and the ladder so Max can spear Kaz down under said ladder. Daniels is dropkicked off the apron onto the ladder but Kaz saves his partner from being splashed through the ladder. Jeremy suplexes Kaz from the apron onto the ladder in a very painful looking landing.

Daniels is stuck in the ring with both Bucks but manages to shove Max off the ladder onto the top rope but Max lands on his feet on the rope and springboards down to take out Kaz. AWESOME bit of balance there. Jeremy goes up but Kaz pops back in with a springboard dropkick to make the save. All of the ladders are down now and a sliding dropkick from Kaz sends Max to the floor. Jeremy makes another save on Daniels by slamming him face first into the mat to put him down. Kaz and Max go up but Daniels throws the Appletini into Buck’s face, allowing Kaz to pull the check down for the win.

Rating: B-. This was the kind of pickup the show needed. Sometimes a good spotfest is the solution to your problems and that’s what we got here. This was also a good example of what happens when you put something on the line in a match like this. The $20,000 isn’t a great prize, but it’s worth more than bragging rights or whatever else you want to say the first two matches were worth. Allegedly Kaz is undefeated in ladder matches in TNA. If so that’s rather impressive.

Preview for the Ten Anniversary next month, which is a celebration of the first ten years of the company.

Joseph Park doesn’t have a match tonight but is glad to be here. He talks about some hardcore matches Abyss had over the years. James Mitchel and Judas Mesias come in and say they’re looking for Abyss for revenge. If Abyss doesn’t show up, Park has to take his place in the monster’s ball match.

We recap the first three matches. Do we really need to do that after less than an hour on the air?

Bad Influence is taking the world over, one Appletini at a time.

Hardcore Gauntlet Battle Royal

Everyone gets to bring a weapon with them and it’s a new entrant every two minutes. Usually in TNA gauntlet matches it’s over the top rope eliminations until the final two when it’s pin/submission but there’s no mention of the rules changing for the final two here. We start with Devon Storm who brings a golf club and Little Guido who brings in a dust bin. They fight over the golf club until Storm suplexes Guido down to take over.

Some golf club shots to the back have Guido in trouble but he comes back with a basement dropkick to take over. Guido puts on a Crossface with the club used to choke Storm until Crimson with his umbrella is #3 (out of nine). Crimson cleans house with the umbrella and a big book to Guido. Storm gets double teamed for a bit until Sam Shaw is #4 with a cane. Shaw spins out of a backdrop from Crimson before taking him down with a dropkick. There’s nothing of note going on at all here.

Johnny Swinger is #5 with a crutch but he’s gone in about 40 seconds at Guido’s hands. Crimson hits Guido with the umbrella and leaves some impressive marks on his back as a result. Funaki of all people is #6 with a guardrail. We get the Terry Funk/Sandman/Tommy Dreamer spinning metal object spot from Funaki and the rail until Funaki superkicks Guido out. Gunner is #7 with a nightstick and the fans chant welcome back, showing the issues with a taped PPV.

Gunner tosses Storm out and hits Shaw in the face with a golf club. It’s 2 Cold Scorpio at #8 with a broom to pop the crowd a bit. Shaw trades forearms with Scorpio but gets monkey flipped out. JB: “Unbelievable!” No, not really. Shark Boy is #9 with a bag ala Jake Roberts. It’s Crimson/Gunner vs. Scorpio/Funaki/Sharky with Scorpio hitting a sunset bomb on Gunner to put him down. A middle rope Harlem Hangover hits Crimson and Funaki goes up as well, only to be tossed by Scorpio and Sharky.

Crimson clotheslines Scorpio out and hit a double chokeslam on Sharky. They start throwing weapons out but they’re afraid of the bag. Both of them look in the bag and freak out, allowing Shark Boy to hit Chummers (Stunner) to both guys. Shark Boy pulls…..a fish out of the bag. The fish “bites” Gunner and a fish shot eliminates Crimson. Sharky backdrops Gunner out for the win.

Rating: D-. Not only was the match boring, but it’s a match that would have fit in the stupid comedy era of the WWF hardcore division. The weapons were all stupid and the fish at the end made it even worse. The “comedy” here was in the vein of beat people over the head and yell IT’S COMEDY in their face, which is my least favorite kind.

Aces and 8’s are ready for their six man tag tonight and don’t care who Storm/Magnus’ mystery partner is.

We recap Bully Ray’s master plan with Aces and 8’s. The amount of time (this runs like 5 minutes) they’re spending on recaps here tells me they were running out of ideas for these marathon PPV tapings.

Aces and 8’s vs. James Storm/Magnus/???

It’s Brisco/Knux/Doc here and this is under hardcore elimination rules. Storm’s surprise partner: Bob “Hardcore” Holly. Holly has a big chest/shoulder tattoo now which screams mid life crisis. He’s in jeans and sneakers here as he starts with Knux and stomps him down in the corner. Off to Brisco who gets kicked between the legs before it’s off to Storm. The fans are more fired up for this match than they’ve been for almost anything tonight.

Storm hits a quick running enziguri in the corner but gets caught in the back by Doc who comes in off a tag. James knocks him down by like a superstar knocking down a big enforcer before bringing in Magnus. They go to the floor for a bit until Magnus gets caught in the wrong corner. Brisco drives shoulders into the Brit’s ribs before it’s off to Doc for right hands. Magnus is crushed by a corner clothesline and it’s back to Knux who gets two off a side slam.

Brisco hooks a cravate followed by a chinlock before it’s back to Doc for a snap suplex. Magnus escapes a chokeslam and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Hot tag brings in Storm to face Brisco as things break down. It’s off to Holly with what looks like a pipe to clean house, only to have Knux hit a big boot to slow him down.

A powerbomb is countered into the Alabama Slam to eliminate Knux but Brisco rolls Holly up for a quick elimination. Magnus blasts Brisco in the head with a trashcan lid and gets a pin off a falcon’s arrow, only to walk into a chokeslam from Doc to get it down to one on one. Doc blasts Storm with the trashcan lid for two but spends too much time boasting, allowing Storm to hit the Closing Time and Last Call for the final pin.

Rating: C. This was nothing of note and I don’t think anyone bought Storm as being in any danger at all. Hardcore Holly as a surprise makes sense on a show like this but he’s a fifty year old man who never meant much of anything in the first place. This was by far and away the second best match of the night so far.

We recap Abyss vs. James Mitchell which is a feud that went on for YEARS. Mitchell is Abyss’ father (no word on if he’s Park’s dad) and brought in Judas Mesias (Abyss’ stepbrother) to attack Abyss with barbed wire. A long blood feud followed.

Joseph Park is in the back and is panicking since no one has seen Abyss.

We get a video on the history of Monster’s Ball, which is TNA’s signature hardcore match.

Mesias vs. Joseph Park

There’s no Abyss so Park has to take his place in this monster’s ball match. Park shoves the much smaller Mesias around and avoids a charge in the corner, only to get jumped from behind and pounded against the ropes. Park misses a charge in the corner and gets taken down by a spear, allowing for the first weapons to come in. Park gets a trashcan lid but gets hit in the stomach with a hockey stick before he can swing it.

They head to the outside with Park’s comeback being stopped cold by a whip into the steps. Back in and Mesias stays on offense with a faceplant, only to miss a top rope splash. Park comes back with some shoulder blocks and puts the trashcan over Mesias’ crotch for a shot with a steel pipe. A chair is wedged between the ropes but Mesias comes back with a trashcan shot to Park’s back for two.

Park hits him low with a cheese grater and gets in some shots with a kendo stick for two. He tries a seated senton onto a chair onto Mesias but gets crotched just in time. Park sends him head first into the wedged chair but the middle rope splash only gets two. A hockey stick shot busts Park’s nose, Abyss mode, Black Hole Slam and pin.

Rating: D. This is another example of how the gimmick can’t save a boring match. There’s no reason for these two to be fighting and the match wasn’t interesting as a result. It was a bunch of weapon shots and an ending gag we’ve seen for months now. Nothing to see here but Park’s act wasn’t getting old when this was filmed.

Post match Park goes after Mitchell but comes back to reality just in time.

Team 3D says they’re reuniting in a tables match tonight against Brother Runt and some mystery partner. It won’t be Dreamer, Sandman or Sabu because they’re either fat, drunk or in a hospital. D-Von does the Dudley Commandments for the first time in years.

Video on people going through tables.

Team 3D vs. Brother Runt/???

Tables match of course. It’s surprising to see Bully as an Ace when that turn wasn’t until months after this was taped. D-Von corners So Cal Val in the corner but doesn’t shove his crotch in her face at least. Bully Ray cuts a long and dull promo before the match about the awesomeness of Tea 3D while insulting a bunch of fans. Ray takes some jabs at Holly for no apparent reason before talking about using Runt as a pawn during the wedding to Brooke. He makes the same jokes about Dreamer and Sandman while saying Runt has no partner. Runt comes out and has a partner: Jeff Hardy.

The Dudleys send Jeff to the floor before Bubba drives Runt’s glasses into his forehead. D-Von beats on Runt with basic power stuff but Runt blocks a suplex, only to be taken down by a clothesline. Off to Ray for a wishbone split before yelling at Earl Hebner in the corner. Ray blocks the Dudley Dog and breaks up a sunset flip attempt but D-Von misses a middle rope headbutt, allowing Runt to make the hot tag.

Jeff cleans house with a low dropkick on D-Von as things break down. Bully kicks Jeff down but the Dudleys can’t hit What’s Up. Instead it’s Runt hitting one on D-Von before calling for the tables. Jeff brings in a table but Team 3D takes over again. A double suplex to Runt misses the table and Jeff hits a Twisting Stunner on D-Von. Runt adds the Dog to put D-Von on the table but Ray makes the save. Jeff and Runt take over again and Hardy splashes D-Von through a table (barely) for the win. It’s as lame of a build as it sounds.

Rating: D. This was nothing to see again with and felt like a bad house show main event. I get the idea of Brother Runt having history with the Dudleys, but we’ve seen this match so many times that it’s almost impossible to care about anymore. Jeff getting the win to end the show is the right idea to send the fans home happy but man it was dull getting there.

Overall Rating: D. This was by far the worst of these shows so far. The only good match was the ladder match with the elimination match being just ok in second place. This came off more like a tribute to the WWF Hardcore Title instead of a tribute to the hardcore division as most of the matches were either lame or comedy matches, with people like Park or ODB not being funny. Nothing to see here at all, but the ladder match isn’t terrible.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

So as you may have heard, Becca and I took in the TNA house show tonight in Lexington at the baseball stadium. More details to come, but the conclusion: I don’t think I’ve ever had more fun at a wrestling show and that includes going to a WWE pay per view.  Let’s get to it.

First of all, the stadium is less than 15 minutes from my house so driving was no issue. The tickets were $15 each and include a voucher each to any Lexington Legends baseball game this season. The seats were along the third base line with a view of the ring at home plate. For you non baseball fans, we had good seats and were looking down on the ring. The ring is clearly smaller than a WWE ring but it doesn’t look bad at all.

We got there at about 7:00 for a 7:30 show. At about 7:25, JB announced that you could purchase a VIP pass and meet James Storm, Gunner (tag champions as of this writing), AJ Styles, Jeff Hardy, Bully Ray (world champion) and D-Von at intermission plus get a photo in the ring with a TNA superstar to be named at the end of the show. All this was $50 for two people so we were down there cash in hand and got the first pass handed out. This was instantly more fun than the WWE house show we took in a few months ago. Can you imagine WWE offering a chance like that to its fans?

More on that later. On with the matches.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Kenny King

The first interesting thing was the way the wrestlers came to the ring. They came out of the right field wall and rode golf carts to the ring. There’s something amusing about that and it made me chuckle every time. Also, you have to love TNA breaking its own rules as this was a one on one X Title match instead of a triple threat. The fans didn’t care about King but gave Sabin some polite applause. The champion (Sabin) stomped his foot to get the fans to clap. King tried the same thing and got silence in a funny bit.

The match was fine and about what you would expect from these two. Sabin worked on the arm to start but the most notable thing to start was how loud the ring was. Every time they hit the mat it sounded like cymbals crashing together. The ring mic was turned way down for the rest of the night and it was an improvement. King snapped Sabin’s neck across the top rope to take over and swung a bat like a home run. Kenny missed something off the top, Sabin hit some kicks, and Hail Sabin ended it in about 8:00. It was a good fast paced opener and the crowd was into Sabin.

Before the next match, Earl Hebner got his own entrance. He took off his regular referee shirt to reveal his YES I DID (screw Bret) shirt. He even pulled out some Bret glasses and did Hart’s poses in the ring.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky

Velvet limped to the ring to sell the knee injury from Impact. Mickie is fully heel, but you would have no idea that was the case tonight. Surprisingly enough, if you have a gorgeous brunette in Daisy Duke shorts and a sports bra with theme music talking about being a southern girl in Kentucky, the fans are going to cheer her a lot. This match didn’t do much for me although the view was very nice.

Mickie worked on the knee and took the tape off of it and the fans booed her. Yes, she attacked an injury and people booed without some complicated backstory, long winded story, or any heavy handed explanation. A heel did heelish things and the fans booed her. Mickie won with the MickieDT in about 5:30. Not much to see here.

AJ Styles vs. Garrett Bischoff

This was long and all about AJ Styles. Bischoff got no reaction from the crowd, but AJ got a standing ovation. There wasn’t much to see here but Garrett didn’t completely embarrass himself, meaning he’s improving. AJ worked on the arm and Garrett shouted OW in a funny bit. Garrett took over with a spear and beat on AJ for a long bit but AJ came back with a dive to the floor and the springboard forearm. They rolled out of the corner and AJ got the Calf Killer for the tap out at 11:45. It was a better match than expected but AJ completely carried it.

Tag Titles: James Storm/Gunner vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

As you may have heard, Storm is wrestling hurt and it’s very clear if you watch him for a few seconds. Storm was introduced as the Cowboy instead of the Tennessee Cowboy to keep the Kentucky fans from booing him. Just before the bell the challengers (Aries/Roode) went to the pitcher’s mound with Aries pretending to pitch as Storm caught and Gunner took a batter’s stance in the ring. Storm got bored and picked up some cotton candy from a vendor to give to fans.

Roode and Aries wanted quiet from the crowd but Brian Hebner couldn’t get the fans to be quiet. It was a comedy match to start with the champions sending Roode into Aries’ groin. The challengers went to the floor with Roode shaking his head and Aries doing squats to stretch things out. Everything spilled onto the floor with Storm throwing a bunch of beers into Roode’s face while Gunner and Aries spent a good 45 seconds trying to suplex each other next to the pitcher’s mound (Gunner won with a front suplex).

They finally got back inside and Storm played Ricky Morton. It was clear that he was moving in slow motion and doing basic stuff while the other guys did the heavy lifting. Gunner finally got the hot tag and everything broke down. Roode got a beer but walked into Closing Time to spit the beer everywhere. Aries took the Last Call (more beer everywhere) followed by a torture rack from Gunner for the win at about 20:00. This was the best and by far the most entertaining match of the night. Aries was very impressive and Becca was very entertained by him.

Next was intermission and we got to go meet the previously mentioned wrestlers. Before we got to the wrestlers, Austin Aries popped up in street clothes and waved over some people he knew. I got a fist bump and said hi to him and got a polite hello. Aries is shorter than he looks on television but seemed to be a nice guy.

There were two sets of tables set up with Bully Ray and D-Von on one side and everyone else on the other. I told D-Von that I loved the TLC matches and he gave a quiet but distinct thank you and gave me a fist bump (no handshakes for him apparently). Ray signed his name with WHC underneath it and basically punched my fist when I reached it out to him for a fist bump. He’s either playing a great heel or a huge jerk in real life but it fit very well.

Next up was Jeff Hardy. A girl in front of me was one of the biggest Jeff fans in the world and was crying her eyes out from getting to meet him. Jeff took a quick picture with her despite the security guard asking us to take pictures as Jeff signed. His match was first up after the intermission so the rush is understandable. I told him I went nuts when he won the world title and he gave a very curt thank you and shook my hand. He was very quiet but not rude or anything.

James Storm and Gunner were next and both were very nice. I told Storm I had been a big fan of AMW and he smiled and thanked me. Gunner will almost crush your hand when he shakes it so the intensity thing really suits him. I said I enjoyed his match and he said he was really enjoying teaming with James. He sounded professional for lack of a better word, but it was an odd visual to see him still in his trunks and a t-shirt. As I was talking to him, a kid in a New Orleans Saints jersey was talking to Storm and Storm asked who the Saints QB and coach were. The kid said something I couldn’t hear and Gunner asked Storm what the kid said. Storm said he had no idea and didn’t know the answers either and laughed.

Last up was AJ Styles who was in a hat and looking down a bit. He signed my paper and I told him I had been a fan since TNA started. He looked up and gave a polite thank you and shook my hand. That Georgia accent comes through on every word he says just like it does on TV.

After this we literally ran back to catch Earl and Brian Hebner signing pictures and Hebner’s shirt for $20 total. Earl asked if we liked the VIP signing and was happy we enjoyed it. Becca is a huge Earl Hebner fan (I don’t get it either) and freaked out when he shook her hand. He asked if we had a camera so I got a quick picture of them. Earl was a nice guy and I got to ask him which referee was the evil one when Andre and DiBiase cheated Hogan out of the title in 1988 (Earl said he was the evil one, like always).

Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Anderson

Hardy got a big pop once people realized it was his music playing. Jeff went around the front row and high fived fans while Anderson did what looked like a Nazi goose step and salute. I didn’t get a good view of it but he was definitely doing the high step. There wasn’t much to this at all but Anderson did Hardy’s dance in a funny moment. Anderson controlled most of the match but Hardy came back with his usual stuff. The Mic Check was countered into the Twist of Fate for the pin at about 7:30. I had never seen Jeff wrestle live so this was a bit of a treat. It looked like he had an ice pack on his elbow after the match but it didn’t look serious.

Bully Ray/D-Von vs. Sting/Kurt Angle

The world title belt is very shiny as you could see the reflection from across the field. Sting and Angle came out to Sting’s music and both were introduced as Hall of Famers. The fans were WAY into both guys so the star power was rolling here. Angle got beaten down to start and the Dudleys hit a kind of botched reverse 3D (the one where Bully does a belly to back suplex into a D-Von neckbreaker. For some reason D-Von was doing Bully’s part and then they seemed to realize they had it backwards).

Angle clotheslined D-Von down and D-Von did a Spinarooni to get back up. Sting got the hot tag and eveyrthing broke down with Angle and D-Von going outside. Sting hit Stinger Splashes on everyone but the referee was bumped just before Sting gave Ray the Death Drop. Ray hit Sting with the chain for two and the Angle Slam set up the Scorpion Deathlock for the tap out from Ray at about 7:00. The match was nothing special but I had never seen Sting or Angle wrestle live (Becca is a lifelong WWE fan and had never seen a Sting match period, which blew my mind).

After the main event JB talked about Angle being inducted in the Hall of Fame and Kurt was cheered to the back. JB told us that for $30 (or for free to those that bought the VIP pass) your entire group could get a picture with Sting with no limit on the amount of people. For a large group of people that’s a great deal. The line took a bit to get through but it was an amazing feeling to walk through the ropes and get inside a ring. The fact that Sting is one of my favorite wrestlers ever made it even better.

The mat is a lot softer than I expected and actually has some give to it. I was surprised at how hard a turnbuckle felt too. I got my picture taken with Sting and was surprised at how tall he was. I’m 6’0 tall and I was looking up at him. As I was leaving I told Sting I had been watching for 25 years and he was the first thing I remembered (Black Scorpion). He said wow that’s awesome and said thanks for being a fan.

We were given a copy of our photo as we left and a card telling us how we can get digital copies of them in a few days. That’s really efficient for such a short amount of time.

As we were leaving a guy from TNA asked us if we had a good time and seemed very pleased that we enjoyed ourselves. He jokingly asked us to tell people about it on the dirt sheets and smiled when I said I ran a wrestling website.

Overall, this was VERY fun and probably the most entertaining wrestling show I’ve been to, which covers a lot of ground. The show felt like it was very personal and focused on making sure the fans have a good time. The $80 combined for all the autographs, meeting the wrestlers and tickets was more than worth it as we were back home in just over four hours.

We were at a WWE Smackdown show a few months ago and it’s a very different feeling. WWE feels like a big spectacle and was certainly fun and affordable (tickets were the same price and about the same distance from the ring) but the star power was nothing compared to this show. The biggest stars I saw at the WWE show were Orton, Sheamus and Del Rio. Tonight I saw Angle, Sting and Jeff Hardy which pretty much crushes the WWE roster.

The other main difference is how accessible things were tonight. At the WWE show it felt like there was a huge divide between the fans and the wrestlers. Tonight they made us feel welcome (not to say WWE didn’t) and like we were in a much more intimate setting. The vibe is completely different here too. With WWE it felt like you were getting an entertainment show whereas tonight was about kicking back and enjoying two and a half hours of wrestling. There were no Twitter polls, promos to hype up matches, or pointless filler matches. Tonight was entertaining, fast paced, and above all else: FUN.

If you ever have the chance to go to a TNA show, make sure you take the opportunity and spring for the VIP package. The show feels so less polished (in a good way) than a WWE show and doesn’t walk you through everything. The WWE show had a better quality to the matches (Barrett vs. Del Rio and Sheamus/Orton vs Shield) but tonight was so basic (one heel wins in six matches) and focused on the fans that it was a blast.

If Impact was like this every week, WWE would be in trouble. It made Becca want to watch Impact for the first time in years which is the right idea for these shows. The difference between the live events and Impact (read as no Hogan and WAY less stupid stuff) is remarkable and the show was definitely worth the time and money. Check them out if you get the chance and want a completely different wrestling experience from a WWE show.

Border Wars 2012
Date: May 12, 2012
Location: Ted Reeve Arena, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness

The things I do for this series. This is a show that was considered a big deal for ROH at the time and unfortunately for me, it has Davey Richards defending the world title. I don’t know much about ROH from this period due to being bored out of my mind by their product. The main event is the aforementioned title defense against Kevin Steen, who has been terrorizing ROH for months now. Let’s get to it.

We open with Nigel McGuinness and Kevin Kelly in the ring to introduce the show. Nigel, a former world champion, talks about what a big deal it is to win the title. Tonight is Kevin Steen’s only shot at immortality. Kelly talks about some of the other matches and throws us to a video on Rhyno, who apparently is a mercenary working for Truth Martini.

Eddie Edwards vs. Rhyno

Before the match, Truth Martini says that Rhyno is a hired mercenary and the newest member of the House of Truth. We got that from the video we just saw. He’s here to clear the path to the world title for Michael Elgin and Roderick Strong by Goring everyone in his way. The fans are of course split because what would an ROH crowd be without annoying chants from the start of the show?

Edwards starts with a wristlock followed by an armdrag into an armbar as we seem to be in for a long match here. Rhyno powers him into the corner and pounds away before running Edwards over with a shoulder block. Edwards fights out of the corner with some chops and a rana to put Rhyno down, followed by a baseball slide to send Rhyno into the barricade. The cameraman goes down somewhere in there and Eddie is a bit stunned. Rhyno hits a HARD shoulder to the ribs in the corner and Edwards is in big trouble.

McGuinness starts talking about fast moving sperm and thankfully Kevin ignores him. Eddie comes back with a quick enziguri, only to be picked up and throws over the top and out to the floor with a loud THUD. Back in and Rhyno stays on the ribs in a smart move. The audio keeps slipping in and out. Off to a bearhug by Rhyno as at least he’s using psychology here. Rhyno loads up another gorilla press but Edwards escapes out and hooks a quick German suplex to put both guys down.

Eddie fires off some chops and superkicks the leg, followed by something close to a Shining Wizard for a close two. The fans are split again because this is REAL WRESTLING, where you cheer for the heels. Edwards avoids a charge to send Rhyno to the floor before hitting an Asai Moonsault, hurting his ribs again in the process. Back in and Edwards hits a missile dropkick for two but walks into a belly to belly suplex. The Gore is blocked with a dropkick and Truth Martini gets up on the apron. He holds up the Book of Truth (foreign object) in the corner but Rhyno has to stop before hitting it, allowing Edwards to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: C+. Nice basic match here with Edwards selling the ribs…..sometimes. He more or less stopped doing anything with them after they got back inside the ring but at least before that things were going well. Rhyno was his usual self here with nothing out of character for him at all. Then again, that’s probably a good thing for a guy like him. Edwards is still rather uninteresting though.

Post match Rhyno grabs Martini but Truth holds up cash. Rhyno takes the money and teases turning on Martini anyway but walks out.

Another glitch: Kelly seems to throw it to a video on the next match but instead we see the end of the previous match.

Apparently the Young Bucks interfered in a TJ Perkins vs. Mike Mondo match and cost Perkins the win. The All Night Express ran in for the save and we’ve got a six man.

Young Bucks/Mike Mondo vs. All Night Express/TJ Perkins

The Bucks are Nick and Matt Jackson and the Express is Rhett Titus and Kenny King, who as of this writing is TNA X-Division Champion. It’s a melee to start of course until we get down to TJ vs. Mike. Mondo is sent to the floor so here’s I think Nick, only to be caught in a headscissors. These guys are moving around so fast that I can’t keep track of them. King hits a running dropkick on I think Matt for two. Back to Mondo who gets suplexed down by King for no count.

A spinebuster puts Mondo down and King pounds away for a two count. Off to Titus for a running boot to the ribs as Mondo is in trouble early on. Perkins and King get some quick tags for some shots on Mondo but Mike FINALLY pops King in the ribs. Matt comes in and is immediately caught in an armbar before it’s off to Titus again. A running Fameasser puts Matt down and the Express seems to botch a drop toehold into a dropkick double team.

Nick trips up Rhett from the floor and the Bucks double team Titus into a whip into the barricade by Mondo. The Bucks take over on Titus with various double teaming offense, including a top rope dive onto Titus’ back. The heels load up a triple dropkick to a seated Titus. Nick hits, Mondo mostly misses, and Matt never jumped. Mondo hooks a rolling backslide of all things for several near falls and makes a blind tag to Nick, allowing him to break up a backslide by Titus.

Back to Matt who gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl snake eyes from Titus but Mondo breaks up a hot tag attempt to King. Nick and Mike collide in the corner and Matt gets backdropped, allowing for the real hot tag to Kenny. I feel like I’m calling a Spirit Squad match with all these names. King does very little of note and it’s off to Perkins with a top rope cross body to take out both Bucks. A powerbomb gets two on Nick but Mondo drives Titus face first into the mat.

Perkins flips around a lot and kicks Matt in the head, but Matt basically no sells it so the Bucks can hit a double superkick on King. Everyone is down now until Mondo breaks up a springboard attempt by King. Matt powerbombs Rhett into a kick to the head from Nick, allowing Mondo to headscissor Rhett into a top rope splash by Matt for two.

Nick tries a suicide dive which the camera totally misses. Instead he hits a big spinning dive to the floor to take out people we couldn’t make out because of the bad lighting. Rhett clotheslines Matt down, allowing the Express to hit a powerbomb/Blockbuster combo, followed by a 450 from Perkins for the pin.

Rating: C. This was your standard six man spot fest which wasn’t all that great. At the end of the day, this same idea has been done WAY better over the years with way more interesting people. The Bucks just aren’t that interesting and never have shown me any reason to care about them at all. Nothing much to see here.

Jay Lethal talks about Tommaso Ciampa stalking him in Fort Lauderdale and costing him a match.

Ciampa says he’ll beat Lethal.

Jay Lethal vs. Tommaso Ciampa

Ciampa is part of the Embassy, a heel stable. He jumps Lethal to start but gets pulled out to the floor for a brawl before the bell. Lethal pounds away on Ciampa but Tommaso comes back with a hard chop to send him against the railing. Ciampa lowers his knee pad and charges at Jay, only to slam his own knee into the barricade. He shakes the pain off though and sends Lethal into the barricade a few times but the fans chant for Kevin Steen for no apparent reason. This is all still before the bell.

Lethal comes back with a catapult to launch Ciampa face first into the entrance to shift control again. Jay finally heads inside with Ciampa down on the floor but one of the Embassy guys breaks up a suicide dive bid. The distraction lets Ciampa get in a quick to Lethal’s head for a two, a few seconds after the bell finally rings. Tommaso chokes away on the apron before putting on a very modified dragon sleeper.

Ciampa pounds away in the corner including going after Lethal’s eye for a bit. This is slowing way down and it’s not exactly entertaining stuff at this point. Apparently Ciampa is undefeated for like two years coming into this. Jay gets in a shot to the head and they slug it out very slowly. You really shouldn’t be at a last man standing slugout just four minutes into a match.

Lethal takes over and Ciampa is in trouble. Again just four minutes into the match, which is too little for being so tired. Yeah they brawled, so maybe it was ten minutes in total to make them that exhausted. As usual, I don’t care for the psychology in Ring of Honor. Lethal has to beat up the other Embassy guys, allowing for Ciampa to hit a lariat for two. Jay counters a sunset flip into a rollup for two of his own before being caught by a HARD knee to the head for a near fall.

Another knee to the head in the corner puts Lethal down and there goes the knee pad for several more knees to the head. Lethal counters a powerbomb into an Alabama Slam into the corner but again has to deal with the Embassy leader. A small package gets two for Ciampa (I think) and now Lethal is getting fired up. He goes off on Ciampa and hits a handspring into the ropes into a cutter, apparently called Lethal Injection, for two.

Yet another Embassy guy (these are just guys in suits and not important enough to identify properly) interferes but Lethal slugs him down and gets two off a top rope elbow. Ciampa tells Lethal to come at him, so Jay hooks him in a Rock Bottom position and drives him down onto Lethal’s knee in ten straight backbreakers followed by a downward spiral for Ciampa’s first loss.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. Seriously that’s the entirety of my thoughts on the match. Lethal has never been a guy I’ve cared about at all and Ciampa didn’t show me anything of note here. The ending was just stupid with Ciampa telling him to come for him and Lethal just doing the same move over and over again before getting the win. Also the guys being spent just a few minutes into it still doesn’t work for me at all.

Post match Ciampa screams a lot and storms out.

We recap Mike Bennett vs. Lance Storm. A now bald Storm saw potential in Bennett but doesn’t like his lack of respect. The audio here is designed to make Storm sound like he’s repeating himself which is really annoying. Bennett beat him back in April so this is the rematch.

Mike Bennett vs. Lance Storm

Bennett has his old trainer named Brutal Bob Evans with him but no Maria, as in Maria from WWE who is absolutely gorgeous. The fans immediately chant for her and I can’t say I blame them at all. They shove each other around to start with Lance being pushed into the corner which goes nowhere. Both guys trade strikes with Storm hitting a European uppercut to send Bennett into the corner and down to the mat.

Storm fires off some shoulders into the corner and a running version to the ribs gets two. Off to an abdominal stretch which is the most logical move for him at this point. Bennett quickly reverses and sends Storm to the apron and then into the buckle, sending Storm to the floor. Mike throws Storm into the announce table and then the barricade and we head back inside. The fans chant obscenities at Bennett because they can’t handle their countryman getting beaten up. Sore losers.

After sending Storm into the corner it’s off to a bow and arrow hold by Bennett to give the guys a breather. Storm flips out of the hold into a kick to Bennett’s face but gets caught in a backdrop to put him right back down. Back to the reverse chinlock with a knee in Storm’s back as Bennett keeps things slow. Lance fights back and they slug it out with both guys seemingly spent again after only a few minutes. In a rather impressive display of athleticism, Storm jumps from the mat and up to the top for a back elbow to the face, getting two.

The superkick is blocked and Storm walks into a spinebuster for a close two. Bennett tries a fireman’s carry but Storm slips down to the apron. A springboard clothesline misses though and Mike spears him down for two. Storm tries something out of a fireman’s carry but Bennett comes back with a sit out Rock Bottom called the Box Office Smash for two.

A dragon screw leg whip puts Storm down and flips off the fans (Storm mentioned that metaphorically in his pre-match promo) before putting on Storm’s own Canadian Maple Leaf half crab. Storm reverses into one of his own but Evans pulls Bennett to the floor. Storm hits a big dive to take Mike out before going back inside. With Evans distracting the referee, Mike gets a chair, only to have Storm blast him in the back with it and superkick Bennett down for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is probably the match of the night so far, but that ending brings it down for me. Storm using the chair is completely against what he’s been talking about leading up to the match and it goes against his style in general. Now, superkick the chair into Bennett’s face would have been fine, but it doesn’t feel right for Storm to just use the chair on his own like that.

Storm says he doesn’t know how many more of these he has in him, but if he does it again he’s doing it here in Toronto. The fans tell him he’s still got it and he says he uses it because of fans like the ones here. Storm gives a shout out to his wife who is in the crowd in a nice moment.

Video on Davey Richards vs. Kevin Steen. The idea is that Richards is unbeatable while Steen is insane and wants to hold the company hostage by winning the world title. Steen went on a path of destruction, leading up to his title match here tonight. Kevin begged Davey for a match but Cornette, the ROH boss, said no. Davey eventually begged Cornette for the match until it was set, which is a great heel move.

Finlay says he’s coming for Roderick Strong and the TV Title.

Video on the tag title match. We must be in intermission. The Briscos and Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team have been feuding for awhile and tonight it’s a fight without honor, which I guess means a street fight. Jay Brisco got crotched against the post three times after the match ended.

Another video on Richards vs. Steen, from the night Davey won the title.

The announcers talk about the remaining four matches.

Adam Cole vs. Michael Elgin

No real story here. They’re just both young breakout stars and are having a match because of it. Elgin is part of the House of Truth and a big power guy. A quick hiptoss sends the smaller Cole flying as McGuinness talks about what it means to be in a big match like this. Cole fires off those ROH forearms that seemingly everyone in the company uses, only to be shoved out of the corner with ease. Instead he comes out of the corner with a middle rope dropkick to send Elgin down.

A quick rana puts Elgin down to the floor but Elgin catches Cole’s suicide dive and slams him onto the floor. Back in and Elgin fires off some hard chops followed by some slow stomps down in the corner. Cole comes back with a quick jawbreaker and sends Elgin chest first into the corner. Elgin blocks a German and blasts Cole in the head, followed by an Alabama Slam for two. Off to a bow and arrow hold by Elgin as Martini comes over and talks trash on commentary.

Back up and a quick rollup gets two for Adam but Michael blasts him right in the head to take him back down. They trade forearms as is the ROH custom until Elgin gets caught in a tornado DDT. A top rope splash gets two for Cole but Elgin breaks up another German suplex attempt. Instead it’s Elgin powering Cole up for a big rolling German (Rolling Chaos Theory) for two. A hard shot to Elgin’s head gets two for Adam and there are some quick kicks to the head. Elgin comes back with WICKED clothesline to put Cole on the floor.

Both guys are spent now so Elgin can’t follow up on the downed Cole. He finally goes after Adam but gets caught by a jumping enziguri to stagger the monster. As Adam gets on the apron, Elgin gets on the middle rope and lifts Cole off the apron and up into a falcon arrow (sitout suplex) down onto the mat. People RAVED when Antonio Cesaro did that in May of 2013.

Off to a crossface by Elgin but Adam rolls out, only to be forearmed into the head. Adam pops back up and hits a quick backbreaker for two before going up top. He dives off with a cross body and is caught into a buckle bomb, followed by a helicopter bomb (love that move) for the pin by Elgin.

Rating: B-. This worked pretty well, but again I cannot stand those forearms. They’ve been used in almost every match now and they don’t come off as unique or intense at all. Also, the same problem that plagued Eddie Edwards is true here for Cole: there’s nothing to him. He’s a guy in trunks that had a decent match and nothing more. Elgin at least has his power to make him stand out a bit.

Martini brags about Elgin winning post match. He tells Elgin that his night is over and to go to the back. Martini stays in the ring to brag about how great it is to be him, only to be superkicked by Cole.

Fit Finlay wants to know how deep Roderick Strong can dig inside himself, because he’s going to have to go real deep to keep his TV Title. Simple yet effective.

TV Title: Fit Finlay vs. Roderick Strong

Strong is defending if that wasn’t clear. There’s no time limit here for some reason. Finlay takes him into the corner to start but no one gets anywhere. More feeling out commences with no one doing much for the first minute or so. A headlock takes Roderick down as we’re firmly in first gear here. Finlay works over the leg as the crowd is rather quiet here. Strong bails to the floor as there isn’t much to talk about at the moment.

Back in and Strong takes him to the ropes by the arm, only to have Finlay smack him in the chest and put on another leg lock. Off to a chinlock by Finlay as the announcers talk about Finlay’s history in wrestling. They roll to the floor to exchange chops until Strong pokes him in the eye to take over. Finlay knocks him back to the floor for more chopping but Roderick takes over with chops of his own. The announcers will not stop bragging about how awesome Finlay was in his day.

They head back inside for a squeeze of Finlay’s ribs. A dropkick gets two for Strong and he fires off some shoulders into the ribs in the corner. Finlay is thrown back to the floor for more pounding on the ribs before we head inside again. Strong argues with a fan before stomping on the ribs even more. Finlay comes back with some chops out of the corner and pounds away with very basic stomps. Strong snaps off a belly to back suplex for two and is starting to get frustrated.

He loads up the Strong Hold (Boston Crab) and Finlay is in trouble in the middle of the ring. Finlay pretty easily powers out of it and they throw forearms at each other. These are totally different from the other matches because they’re on their knees here. Finlay takes over and hits his fireman’s carry roll followed by the Celtic Cross, which Sheamus uses as White Noise. Finlay goes up top, only to be knocked right back to the floor. Back in and a double knee gutbuster gets two on Finlay. Strong is like screw this and kicks Finlay in the face for the pin to retain.

Rating: C. Again, Strong is just a guy in trunks with a name I likely won’t remember, even though I’ve seen a good bit of his work before. None of these guys are anything memorable and from what I can tell, other than the two main matches there aren’t many stories going on either. Finlay put Strong over well here which is exactly why he was brought in. I’m not sure I get how you can claim that a win over a guy who was awesome twenty years ago, but it was fine for what it was.

Wrestling Greatest Tag Team (Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas) didn’t like being beaten up by the Briscos. Earlier tonight we saw these two beat up the Briscos so tonight it’s a wild brawl for the Briscos’ tag belts.

The Briscos, the biggest hicks you’ll ever see, say they’ll cross the border and cross the line against Haas and Benjamin tonight.

Tag Titles: Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Brisco Brothers

The Briscos are Mark and Jay and have no relation to Jack and Jerry Briscoe. This is fight without honor, meaning it’s a street fight. It’s also unsanctioned, although it can somehow be for the promotion’s tag titles. There’s no Mark Brisco to start so apparently Jay is going to try to do this on his own. Actually, cue Mark in hockey gear with some stick shots to the back of Haas’ head. The brawl is on as the referee has to get rid of those stupid streamers.

Mark hits Haas in the throat with the hockey stick and the Briscos clean house. With the challengers on the floor and the announcer doing the intros, Mark dives on both guys as the brawl really gets going. Back in and the Briscos double team Benjamin as this has been one sided so far. Charlie pulls Shelton to the floor, only to be caught by a double baseball slide from the champions.

Shelton has a chair thrown onto his back as it’s kind of hard to keep track of the insanity. Back in and Haas gets an exploder suplex for two on Jay before choking him with his shirt. Haas charges at him, only to be caught in a downward spiral right into a chair wedged between the ropes. Shelton comes back in (there aren’t any tags in this) and blasts Jay down, only to have Mark save him from a chair shot. We go back to the floor where Jay catapults Charlie face first into the post as the champions continue to dominate.

Haas is busted open as Mark hits a running swanton off the apron onto Benjamin. An attempt at a second one misses (kind of?) but Mark brings in a wheel from a wheelchair. Jay pounds on Charlie in the ring as Mark goes up, only to be flipped off the top and through a table at ringside. A jawbreaker hits Jay but he comes back with a Death Valley Driver on Shelton. Jay goes up but gets distracted by Haas, allowing Shelton to run up the corner and suplex him down.

Shelton hits a spinebuster off the top for two on Jay as the challengers take over for the first time. Mark tries to come back in with the hockey stick but gets knocked back into the barricade. Charlie and Shelton try to crotch Jay on the post again but Mark makes the save. Mark starts cleaning house and flips Charlie off the top followed by a top rope elbow for two. Jay sends Benjamin to the floor as the fans want tables. Naturally ask and you will receive, as Jay sets one up on the floor.

Jay and Shelton brawl on the apron with Jay loading up something on his hand, only to have Shelton load up a German off the apron. Jay holds on to avoid a nasty case of death, only to hook an electric chair drop to send Jay through the table. Back in the ring Charlie sprays something on a rag and chokes Mark out with it for the pin and titles. It appeared to be ether or something like that.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty solid brawl and pretty easily the match of the night to this point. It’s not a great match or anything like that and the ending came out of nowhere, but it goes along with the no honor thing. This doesn’t come off like a match ending a feud, but then again this isn’t the biggest show of the year or anything so it’s understandable. Good match but that’s about it.

The announcers rant about how the new champions showed no honor in a fight without honor.

We preview the main event which we’ve already covered in detail so far. The production values continue to suck here as the video is drowning out the commentary being done over it.

ROH World Title: Kevin Steen vs. Davey Richards

Steen is challenging and a Canadian, making him the massive favorite. Richards is a rather short guy while Steen is heavy but not exactly fat. Jimmy Jacobs is with Steen while Richards is alone due to a death in the family of Kyle O’Reilly. Steve Corino, who has been an opponent of Steen for months, is on commentary. Not that we can hear him but he’s there. Steen talks trash to start as the fans chant NEXT WORLD CHAMP. He immediately tries his package piledriver, which is kind of like a Pedigree but he hooks the legs and lifts Davey up into a piledriver instead of dropping Richards face first. It’s easily countered though as this isn’t WWE, meaning the finishers actually mean something.

They go to the forearms with Steen being the huge crowd favorite. Richards clotheslines him out to the floor and hits a nice suicide dive to take Steen down again. They head back inside but a distraction by Jacobs allows Steen to DDT Richards as he comes back inside. Steen takes it right back to the floor and sends Davey into the barricade a few times. Richards gets crotched against the post as the referee is considering throwing this out.

Steen takes him back to the apron but gets caught in a t-bone suplex onto the apron. Once that gets two inside, Richards starts firing off the kicks. You knew he couldn’t resist them much longer than that. Now it’s off to a modified version of Konnan’s Tequlia Sunrise, which is a kneeling half crab with Steen’s arm trapped at the same time. Now it’s off to a freaky Figure Four variation with Steen on his face and Richards on his back. More kicks by the champion cause the fans to chant that this is the same stuff he’s always used.

An enziguri knocks Steen out to the floor but he pulls Richards down with him so he can powerbomb Davey onto the apron. It works so well that Steen does it again before throwing Davey back inside. A cannonball roll into the corner gets two for Steen but he’s holding his leg. It slows Steen down as he goes up top, allowing Richards to crotch him. Steen bites Richards to the mat and tries a Swanton, only to land on knees. A hard lariat gets two for Richards and he’s getting frustrated. The fans telling Richards that he can’t beat Steen isn’t helping his self esteem either.

Steen comes back with a superkick (the most popular move in ROH) and a clothesline to put both guys down again. Back up and it’s time for more forearms with Richards taking over, only to be caught in a kind of a Death Valley Driver for two. The Package Piledriver is escaped again so Steen rakes the eyes. Richards goes back to the knee but gets caught in a powerbomb and the Sharpshooter. Davey gets to a rope pretty quickly and dropkicks the bad knee out from under Kevin.

There’s a dragon screw leg whip and Davey wraps the bad leg up in the ropes for a double stomp to the chest. Another double stomp gets two and it’s off to the ankle lock, which is the move that Richards uses to prove that he’s a WRESTLER and not a glorified kickboxer. Steen kicks him off but gets caught in a DR Driver (basically a Pedigree Driver) for two. Davey fires off some rapid fire kicks to the head, meaning like 20 of them. They trade HARD shots to the head before Steen snaps off an F5 for two.

A moonsault connects with Davey but it hurts Kevin’s knee and he can’t immediately cover. The delayed cover gets two but Richards is able to escape the package piledriver when the knee gives out again. A hard kick to Steen’s head gets two for the champion and there’s another big one. Steen sits up and catches another spin kick in an ankle lock on Richards. Davey immediately turns it over and puts on an ankle lock of his own with a grapevine.

Kevin twists and turns enough to be able to turn it into a Sharpshooter of all things but Richards counters into the ankle lock again. Steen crawls over to the corner and pulls the buckle off as Davey pulls him back. Richards screws himself over though as Steen rolls out of the hold, sending Richards face first into the buckle. The package piledriver hits and Steen is the champion.

Rating: B. This was pretty good although it was clear that Steen was going out with the belt from the minute the bell rang. It’s definitely the best match of the night, although I can’t stand all the kicks to the head. Richards throws them WAY too hard and in a post Benoit world, we just do not need that kind of thing in wrestling or anywhere. I still can’t stand Richards but this was pretty solid stuff.

Post match ROH owner Carey Silkin can’t bring himself to hand Steen the belt. Corino and Jacobs get in the ring and hug Steen in an alleged big shock. If we could have heard Corino talk earlier, it might have been shocking but since I have no idea what he said, this means very little.

Overall Rating: C+. Well, that happened. Those are almost my entire thoughts on this show: it happened. Nothing on here made me want to watch any more ROH from this era or going forward and none of the wrestling blew me away. I still have the same issues I’ve always had with it: the same spots in all the matches (forearms etc), the VERY generic characters (someone explain to me what exactly is different between Strong, Cole and Edwards. They’re the same guys in different attire. Oh and Strong is taller.), and the lack of stories other than in the main event.

The show certainly isn’t bad, but it does absolutely nothing for me as a fan. The production looks like an OVW TV episode, which isn’t terrible but when this is supposed to be the third biggest company in the country, I expect to see more than I get from a minor league company that reaches maybe three million people. It’s ROH at the end of the day, which means some people are fanatical about it, but I really don’t get the mass appeal here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Jokers Wild
Date: May 3, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

This is the second of the One Night Only shows, meaning that it’s another show taped two months ago and airing now because TNA doesn’t want to do the traditional three hour PPVs every month. The gimmick this month is that we have a bunch of tag matches with random pairings and the winners all go into a gauntlet match with the winner earning $100,000. I don’t get why money isn’t a prize more often in wrestling anymore. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how all of these people are the foundation on which TNA is built. Allegedly this is a NEVER BEFORE SEEN concept, other than all of the other times this has been done over the years with various other endings. In the pure brilliance of TNA, they show us clips of various matches, including one partner turning on another. The idea of a spoiler doesn’t mean much around here does it?

Christy and JB draw names out of a tumbler in the ring to determine the pairings.

James Storm/Christian York vs. Gunner/Crimson

Wow Gunner still has a job? This is kind of an interesting match given that Storm has history with Crimson as Storm ended Crimson’s undefeated streak a year ago. Storm and Crimson get things going here with Crimson using the power game to take over. Storm comes back with a tackle and right hands as Tenay makes WINNING jokes ala Charlie Sheen. A hard clothesline puts Crimson down and it’s off to York who drops a knee for two.

Off to Gunner for the first time in a long time as Tazz makes ball jokes about Christy Hemme. It’s going to be a very long night on commentary. York gets two off a bulldog as we talk about the legendary Murphy. They slug it out for a bit with Gunner taking over, only to be taken down by a kick to the face for two. It’s back to Storm for a wind up poke to the eye before it’s back to York. Christian avoids a rollup but Crimson snaps his neck over the top rope to give Gunner control again.

Now Tenay is talking about walking through Memphis looking for moonshine as the match is ignored for the sake of inside jokes. A high collar suplex puts York down for two and a slingshot suplex gets the same for Gunner. Off to a chinlock by Gunner before Crimson comes in for the same hold. York kicks him away but it’s Gunner breaking up the tag again. Christian kicks him in the head though and it’s hot tag to Storm.

James cleans house and kicks Gunner in the head before getting two off a top rope crossbody. York catapults Gunner into a DDT from Storm for two but Crimson spears Storm down. Storm hits Closing Time on Crimson before York throws Gunner into the Last Call for the pin, advancing Storm and York.

Rating: C. I have a feeling my thoughts on a lot of these matches are going to be the same. This wasn’t bad or anything but the lack of a story is going to bring almost all of these down. Yeah Storm has history with Crimson, but it was a two minute match from a year ago. There’s no reason to watch any of these guys fight tonight other than money, meaning the matches are all going to be judged on in ring work alone. This wasn’t bad, but I can’t imagine them all being this good.

York thanks Storm for being a great partner but reminds Storm that it’s every man for himself in the main event. Storm is just thinking of how much beer a hundred grand can buy.

Jesse Godderz/Mr. Anderson vs. Douglas Williams/Kid Kash

No Tara unfortunately. Anderson comes out like normal to his own music and without the biker gear. Kash and Anderson start things off but Jesse tags in before anything can happen. A quick shoulder sends Godderz into the corner and it’s off to Anderson who might not suck as much. Anderson hits a quick dropkick to put Kash down and it’s back to Jesse for some arm work. He asks for a tag and Anderson isn’t sure if he wants back in or not. The announcers would rather talk about Aces and 8’s rankings and British terminology instead of calling the match.

Williams comes in and gets caught by a hiptoss and backdrop from Anderson. Jesse is jumping up and down to get in the match so it’s off to the rookie for some arm work. He cranks it once and already wants Anderson back in. Since Anderson is getting annoyed he takes more time, allowing Williams to suplex Godderz down. Off to Kash for a release belly to back of his own as the announcers continue to talk about stupid things like the “Pre-Tazz Era” of TNA.

Williams puts a cravate on Jesse for a bit, only to be taken down by a nice leg trip. Godderz still can’t make a tag though as Williams comes in with a clothesline to put him back down for two. Off to Kash again who helps out Williams with a double backdrop as Jesse continues to be picked apart. Back to Williams for a few slams as this gets more and more boring every few seconds. Kash kicks Jesse low and rakes his back a few times as we talk about roulette to keep up the announcers’ trend.

Off to a chinlock by Williams as we talk about gumption, moxie and tomatoes. I know I’m talking about the announcers a lot but it’s by far the most interesting thing in the match so far. Tazz actually says that Aces and 8’s don’t do losses. Jesse sends Kash into the corner but gets kicked in the face and caught with a moonsault out of the corner for two. Godderz is stomped around even more as Tazz talks about getting a furry sidecar on Bully’s bike. The commentary must have been recorded later as Bully wasn’t revealed as part of Aces and 8’s when this was taped.

A clothesline out of the corner takes Williams down and it’s FINALLY off to Anderson to clean house. Anderson hits his rolling fireman’s carry on Williams and loads it up on Kash, only to have Jesse pull Kash down to load up his own finishing move. Anderson kicks Kash down and Mic Checks Godderz before rolling up Kash for the pin.

Rating: D+. Remember what I said about the wrestling being the main thing to go off on this show? In this case it was hindered by Jesse, who is WAY too green to be in there as long as he was. There was a story being told here, but the match was so dull throughout that it didn’t make much of a difference. Anderson looked like a star though.

Bobby Roode says he doesn’t need strategy because he’s a winner in tag matches and single matches.

Crimson and Gunner complain about not being on television lately. Crimson wants to team with Gunner regularly since they’re both war veterans.

Christopher Daniels/Samoa Joe vs. Chavo Guerrero/Rob Van Dam

This should be interesting. Chavo and Daniels get things going and it’s a lengthy feeling out process until Chavo hits a dropkick to put Daniels down. Off to Van Dam for a kick to the face and a standing moonsault for two. Daniels rams RVD into the corner with some shoulders to the ribs, only to have Van Dam roll him up and crank on Daniels’ leg for a bit. Off to Joe vs. Van Dam as the fans aren’t sure who to cheer. Both guys counter everything the other guy throws until Van Dam gets a rollup for two and a standoff.

Chavo comes in and takes over on Daniels by stomping him down in the corner but a single shot allows for the tag off to Joe. Chavo punches Joe down in a rather surprising bit before hitting the slingshot hilo. Daniels cheats from the apron and comes in with more choking. Back to Joe for some headbutts and the enziguri in the corner for two. Back to the ball jokes by the announcers which never were funny in the first place. Off to Daniels for a chinlock as the match slows down a bit.

Chavo fights up with some elbows to the ribs as Tenay and Tazz talk about a party in the Aces and 8’s clubhouse. Back to Joe for the rapid fire punches in the corner followed by a crossface chinlock of his own. Guerrero gets back up but walks into a powerslam for two. Daniels comes in with an elbow drop and puts on what looks like a Tazmission. Chavo finally gets up but both guys try cross bodies and collide in the air.

Daniels drags Chavo back into the corner and Joe pounds him down again. An overhead suplex gets two on Guerrero and we hit the chinlock again. Joe loads up the Muscle Buster but Daniels tags himself in instead. A top rope cross body puts Daniels down and there’s the hot tag off to RVD.

Rob cleans house and hits a running spinwheel kick in the corner followed by Rolling Thunder for two. Everything breaks down and Joe hits a high collar suplex on Guerrero. Van Dam kicks Joe down but Daniels crotches him as he loads up the Five Star. Chavo takes Daniels to the floor, but Joe runs up and hits the Muscle Buster on Van Dam for the pin to advance.

Rating: B-. Definitely the best match of the night so far with all four guys knowing how to work the tag team formula quite well. Joe is the kind of guy that can work face or heel at the drop of a hat so we could easily have a face/heel dynamic. This is also the longest of the tag matches and that’s likely a good thing. Pretty solid match here.

Daniels celebrates like he just won the world title.

Godderz says he was responsible for 80%-90% of the offense and that he needs the money to fund his Hollywood parties. Anderson volunteers to throw everyone else out and let Godderz win tonight. Jesse leaves and Anderson says that’s not happening. Godderz is kind of funny at least.

Robbie E/Zema Ion vs. Bobby Roode/Joseph Park

Time for things to get wacky! Park wants to call the team Law and Order but Roode says no and calls Park Tons of Fun. Roode and Zema get things going as Park grabs the tag rope. Bobby runs over Zema and does the same to Robbie just because he can. Roode cranks on the arm and finally tags in the already sweating Park. Robbie seems to enjoy the prospects of fighting Park but Joseph is fascinated by the spiked hair. Roode: “TAG ME BACK IN YOU MORON!” Robbie tries a cross body but bounces off Park like he’s a wall. Park counters a slam into one of his own and the comedy continues.

Zema finally trips Park up and Robbie kicks away at the knee. Off to Ion with a missile dropkick and a middle rope forearm from Robbie for two. Back to Ion who tries a sunset flip but has to avoid a cannonball from Park. Robbie pounds away even more and the big man is taken down by a double back elbow. Ion comes back in to try a 450 but Park rolls away. He goes the wrong way and takes most of the splash but at least he tried.

Park punches Robbie in the head a few times but hits the middle rope splash for two instead. Ion uses Robbie as a springboard to hit Park in the corner, busting him open. Park snaps and it’s a chokeslam for Ion, a Black Hole Slam for Robbie….and he snaps back into reality. Roode tags himself back in and steals the pin for his team.

Rating: D+. Just a basic comedy tag match which was fine for the most part. The problem with comedy matches is that you can only reach a certain level with them and this match didn’t quite get there. Park is great in the role though and he played it perfectly here. The match was just kind of there though and it felt longer than it should have been.

Roode doesn’t want a hug post match.

Daniels celebrates in the back and offers to buy Joe dinner with the winnings. Joe says only one person can win and he’ll see Daniels out there.

D-Von asks Val if she’s part of the conspiracy to bring down TNA. He says that TNA can do nothing to stop them because this is their year. D-Von offers to give Val a job where he makes it rain.

D-Von/Doc vs. Alex Silva/Hernandez

Well that’s quite a coincidence. D-Von and Silva start things off and after about two minutes of circling each other we get some actual contact. Silva gets pounded down in the corner and D-Von is toying with him. A one footed dropkick staggers D-Von and it’s off to Hernandez to give him a real challenge. Off to Doc for the power vs. power match with both guys getting to show off their strength.

A delayed vertical suplex puts Doc down and it’s off to Silva who is promptly destroyed. D-Von crotches him against the post and it’s off to a chinlock by Doc. Off to D-Von again for a knee drop and a two count as Silva continues to be beaten down. Doc comes in with a legdrop for two and some elbows to the chest. A big splash gets another two as Silva’s destruction continues. D-Von puts on a front facelock but Silva escapes for the tag off to Hernandez. SuperMex cleans house but Alex tags himself back in like an idiot. A missile dropkick gets two on Doc but he gets caught in a chokeslam for the pin to advance.

Rating: D+. So a team that regularly works together is better than a thrown together team with a rookie for a member. It took ten minutes to get that point across? There’s nothing special to see here and if I have to hear about Taz’s sidecar one more time I’m going to lose my mind. The commentary on this show is absolutely horrible and it’s driving me insane.

Joey Ryan and Matt Morgan talk about percentages. I like Scott Steiner’s math a lot better.

Joseph Park talks about how important wins are. Christopher Daniels runs up and says he needs help. Joseph: “I told you she was seventeen!” Daniels offers Park 30% of the $100,000 (“$25,000 isn’t bad!”) for an alliance (“Your back is bigger than mine so I’ll be doing more work.”) but Park says no. He says if he wins, he’ll donate the money to a children’s charity in Chicago.

Matt Morgan/Robbie T vs. Joey Ryan/Al Snow

Wow, you mean people that don’t like each other are teaming together? That’s WACKY BROTHER! Once we were down to just two people left, why was Morgan surprised that Ryan was one of his opponents? Joey tries to run but Snow throws him back in to face Morgan. As Snow is throwing him in though, Ryan makes a quick tag so Snow gets the beating from Terry. Off to Morgan for some stomping of the ribs, which are covered in workout gear instead of wrestling attire.

Snow tries to get in a few shots but Robbie shrugs them off and rips at Al’s face. Tazz spends the whole match ripping into Snow for various reasons. Ryan bails away from a tag attempt as Tenay explains the Gut Check history between Snow and Ryan. Snow finally speeds things up a bit but Terry hooks a neckbreaker to put him right back down. We hit the chinlock for a bit as Terry tries to not screw stuff up. In an odd sequence, Snow catches Terry’s kick to the ribs, then tries a kick of his own which is also caught. He flips Terry off and hits an enziguri (to the shoulder) before making the tag.

Ryan is finally in and is immediately destroyed by Terry who hits a World’s Strongest Slam for two….as Matt Morgan makes the save. Morgan yells at Terry that Ryan is his partner, so Terry throws Ryan to a weakened Snow for a tag. Now Snow tries to get Terry to join up with him against Morgan before smacking Morgan in the face. Matt comes in and Snow is all fired up….and he tags Joey in. Morgan tries to tag in Terry as this completely falls apart. Snow bails from an attempted tag and runs a lap around the ring. Ryan offers to lay down and then jumps Morgan with the weakest forearms ever. The Carbon Footprint kills Ryan dead.

Rating: F. I have no idea what they were going for here, but it didn’t work. The fact that Ryan and Snow’s story was six months ago didn’t help at all here. I’m not sure what the rest of the story was supposed to be but whatever it was, it couldn’t have gone much worse. Absolutely terrible here and the last thing this show needed.

Joseph Park says he’s very tired but it was awesome to team with Roode. He doesn’t remember how they won at all though. Park also has no idea how a gauntlet match works.

Al Snow (in an interview clearly taped before the match as he looks perfectly fine) says he got his revenge on Ryan, which is worth more than the money.

We look back at the six matches to recap things.

Gauntlet Battle Royal

It’s basically a 12 man Royal Rumble meaning you eliminate people by going over the top and the winner get the money. Storm is #1 and Roode is #2. I think there are two minute intervals between entrants here. Roode sends him into the corner to start and pounds away as the announcers make thinly veiled references to the Royal Rumble. Storm comes back with an atomic drop and a backdrop before pounding away in the corner. Roode holds off elimination until D-Von is #3. That would put the intervals at about 90 seconds.

Storm gets double teamed for the entire time as Doc is #4. Seriously, there was nothing to talk about in that whole stretch. The bikers beat on the former Beer Money as Tazz asks what kind of a roller coaster he is. Storm gets up a boot in the corner and D-Von is in trouble. A double suplex puts Doc down and a double clothesline puts him out. D-Von clotheslines both guys down and Jesse Godderz is #5.

D-Von chokes Storm in the corner as Roode beats on Godderz. Bobby tries to put Storm out but Jesse the idiot breaks it up. Christian York is #6 as everyone fights each other. D-Von takes turns beating on Godderz and York as Beer Money continues their eternal feud. Joseph Park is #7 and appears to be sweating before he makes it to the ring. Now the intervals are at two minutes.

Roode offers an alliance with Park but kicks him in the ribs instead. Park runs him over before pounding on York in the corner, only to be hit low by D-Von. We’re into your standard battle royal formula here: a lot of stomping and punching near the ropes with the occasional attempted elimination. Mr. Anderson is #8 and still showing no indication of being part of Aces and 8’s here. He chops Jesse and hands him to Park for the easy elimination.

Now Anderson goes after Park for a bit before heading towards D-Von. The camera cuts away and once we go back, it’s Anderson working on Storm. Nice editing there. Park has D-Von in trouble in the corner but he sneaks back in. Daniels is #9 and you know he’s strutting on the way to the ring. He and Roode team up to have Park in trouble but an eye rake keeps the big man safe. Daniels is the only one doing much at the moment as we’re firmly in the battle royal lull.

Samoa Joe is #10 and he goes right for Daniels with rapid fire right hands. Now he’s after D-Von as Tazz freaks out. York and Daniels both survive elimination attempts and not a lot else happens at the moment. Rob Terry is #11 which means Morgan is #12. Terry starts cleaning house with clotheslines and throws out York to clear some space. Daniels joins York on the floor at Terry’s hands before Anderson misses a charge and goes out as well.

Here’s Morgan at #12, giving us a final grouping of Storm, Roode, D-Von, Park, Joe, Terry and Morgan. Terry tells Morgan to bring it on but D-Von and Park break up the staredown. Now it’s Park vs. Morgan and Joseph is out before I can finish typing that. Joe gets a running start at Morgan but is easily tossed out as well to get us down to five. A very low blow from Morgan is enough to eliminate Terry so we’ve got D-Von, Roode, Storm and Morgan.

Speaking of Morgan, he misses the Carbon Footprint and hits the ropes, allowing Storm to forearm him out. With the referee not looking, Knux of Aces and 8’s comes out and pulls Roode through the ropes and out to the floor. Knux tries to cheat again but D-Von hits him by mistake, allowing Storm to toss D-Von. Roode throws Storm over but makes the eternal mistake of not watching him the floor. One Last Call later and Storm wins the money.

Rating: D+. It’s a battle royal. What else do you want me to say here? It followed the same plot that almost all matches like this one follow, meaning it was ok once in awhile but for the most part there’s nothing of note to see. Storm winning is fine, although I’m really getting tired of people going bell to bell in battle royals. We get it: it’s something impressive. Let it rest already.

Lots of beer is consumed and Storm gets a massive check. He says the drinks are on him tonight and sorry about all the losers’ luck.

Apparently the next one of these is Hardcore Justice, which will include a Team 3D reunion and the return of some old hardcore guys, including Homicide, Hardcore Holly (he was never in TNA was he?) and…..Jackie Moore. DANG IT ALL!!!!!

Overall Rating: D+. As is going to be the case with these shows, the overall rating is a bit lighter than on other shows. At the end of the day, these shows are nothing of note and are there to fill in a spot. It was $15 for an HD PPV that runs over two and a half hours, so how much can you really complain? The concept is just ok and the ending is nothing special, but I’ve seen FAR worse PPVs. X-Travaganza was better though, and I can’t see many dropping lower than this one.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 25, 2013
Location: Kovalchick Complex, Indiana, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz, Todd Keneley

We’re live again in a city I’ve never heard of. After last week the main story is that AJ walked away while the Bikers beat down James Storm. That doesn’t mean Styles has joined up with them but it does mean that the story must continue. Other than that it’s hard to say what’s coming because nothing of note seems to be continuing over to this week. At least we’re live though. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from last week with Ray saying he wanted to see Hulk face to face tonight.

The Bikers arrive and are met by security but Ray shouts his way past them.

Here’s James Storm to open things up. He says he’s still feeling the effects of the fight last week and here’s Styles standing in the crowd. Storm says he isn’t going to cry over spilled milk because he’s a beer drinker. However, he does have something to say about the Aces and 8’s who jumped him last week. If they want a fight, all they have to do is ask him. If any of them want a fight one on one, come see him.

Instead he gets Bad Influence who were also attacked by the bikers last week. Hogan may not have an answer to Aces and 8’s, but the two of them do. The magic number to stop Aces and 8’s is four, as in Fourtune. Kaz says AJ needs to stop looking like a Twilight vampire because they forgive him. He offers to reform Fourtune to fight the bikers but AJ doesn’t move.

Storm doesn’t seem interested so Kaz calls him irrelevant. The brawl is on and Storm gets beaten down and left laying after a low blow. Here come Aces and 8’s and Anderson loads up a powerbomb through a table, but Joseph Park comes in for a save. He gets beaten down as well. AJ is still standing stoically as Knucks and Doc load up a double chokeslam on Park….but Bully calls them off. Instead it’s a 3D through the table (kind of as Ray never got the Cutter correctly) and the bikers stand tall.

Post break Park is taken out on a stretcher and Aces and 8’s are still in the ring. Ray talks about how no one can stop them and Hogan has until the end of the show to answer the challenge.

Tenay tells us that Hogan has left the building for no apparent reason.

We get a video on Mickie James beating Tessmacher to earn the title shot.

Taryn Terrell vs. Tara

Before the bell, Hogan is here so apparently he was off doing something. No Jesse with Tara here but she jumps Taryn to start. Terrell comes back with a jumping neckbreaker and some hair drags, only to be draped over the top rope to stop her cold. Tara sends her chest first into the buckle and slams Taryn face first into the mat a few times. Off to a bridging Indian Deathlock by Tara followed by some rollups for two.

Tara yells at referee ODB before choking Taryn in the air. A slingshot sends Taryn’s throat into the bottom rope for two more but Tara misses the slingshot legdrop. Taryn goes up top but misses a cross body, allowing Tara to hit the spinning side slam for no cover. Tara loads up the shaky moonsault but gets rolled up for the pin at 6:36.

Rating: C-. The match sucked for the most part but I’ve seen worse. The most impressive thing about this was probably Taryn. Yeah she sucks in the ring, but considering she’s only there for her looks and how good she fills out a tiny pair of shorts, I’ve seen FAR worse. Not terrible here but too long.

Robbie tries to fire up Jesse for his match later with Rob Terry. Once Jesse wins, he goes down in history with the great Bro’s of all time: George Washington, Al Bundy and Oprah. Jesse says he doesn’t need Robbie’s help.

Rob Terry vs. Jesse Godderz

Terry runs over Jesse to start as I guess the battle of the Rob’s is just continuing. Robbie E tries to distract Terry but Rob throws Jesse around by the throat. A second try at the distraction works a bit better and Jesse gets in some shots to the back and a dropkick. Jesse goes up but jumps into a powerslam for two as Robbie grabs the referee’s feet. Jesse tries to jump Terry again but gets launched into Robbie instead. Back in and the big spinebuster gets the pin on Jesse at 2:55.

Bad Influence offers Roode a spot in Fourtune. He thinks about it and Aries is lurking behind a wall.

We look at the Full Metal Mayhem match from a few weeks ago. Apparently Hardy is considering walking away from wrestling due to his injuries in that match.

Chris Sabin is coming back from injury.

Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

Before the match Aries talks to Roode in the back and asks if Fourtune is what Roode wants to do. If they were so awesome, why did they just break up so fast? If they’re so great, why was Aries the one that beat him for the world title? Daniels has replaced Tenay on commentary for this match. Aries rides Chavo down to start and spins around on him, only to walk into a dropkick. Off to Hernandez for a splash for two on Roode before the delayed suplex puts Bobby down again.

SuperMex misses his running dive from the ramp and Roode pounds away. Off to Aries with the slingshot hilo followed by an Eddie dance for two. Roode comes back in for a Russian legsweep for two and here’s Aries with a front facelock. Hernandez makes a comeback with Daniels blaming Aries for the mistakes and calling Roode a ring sergeant.

Chavo tries the Three Amigos but has to settle for a spinning DDT on Roode. Everything breaks down but a Kazarian distraction lets Roode hit the spinebuster, only to have Hernandez kick Bobby into the ropes, crotching Aries in the process. Kaz interferes again and Daniels sneaks in….and accidentally take out Roode. Chavo Frog Splashes Roode to retain at 8:55.

Rating: C+. Bad Influence and Aries/Roode are some of the most entertaining guys in the sport right now, so we can’t get the tag belts off Chavo/Hernandez because…..someone complete that sentence for me. Why in the world do we have to sit through those two with the belts for so long? Their matches are pretty good but other than that there’s NOTHING of interest about them.

Matt Morgan says he’ll explain his solution to TNA’s problems in the ring and Hogan is invited.

We look at Hogan’s mistakes over the last few weeks.

Here’s Morgan in the ring to talk about Hogan’s mistakes. It started with Ray being allowed into the Hogan family and then naming him #1 contender to the world title. Morgan talks about Sting and Hogan being best friends for twenty plus years (I laughed out loud) and causing Hardy to be stretchered out. Cue Hulk for the showdown.

The fans chant for Hogan as Morgan says Hulk is out of backup. Tonight the bikers are going to beat Hogan down so Morgan offers himself as the solution to Aces and 8’s. He says that if Hulk gives him the chance, he’ll Carbon Footprint Ray’s head into the fifth row. However, there’s a catch: Morgan has to get the title shot at Slammiversary. Hulk says he Matt had him believing but at the end of the day, Morgan has done too much to Hogan for give him his shot. Hogan: “I never heard Andre the Giant whining.” Uh Hulk…..where were you when Wrestlemania III was being set up?

Bully makes the Bikers swear to not interfere.

You can vote for who gets an X Title shot.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky

The fans are extra excited for some reason here. Feeling out process to start until Velvet (defending here) hits a kick to the back and a low dropkick for two. She seems to be favoring her recently injured knee though. The knee gives out in the middle of an Irish whip and Mickie gets a fast two count. A kneeling leg lock has Velvet in trouble and we take a break.

Back with Mickie still cranking on the knee but Sky uses the good leg to kick out of the corner. The champion’s knee is suddenly FINE and she fights back with clotheslines and chops. A hard whip takes out the knee but Velvet hits a quick Russian legsweep for two. Mickie gets the same off the Thesz Press from the top and backdrops out of In Yo Face. The MickieDT is countered but the knee gives out again. Mickie dropkicks the knee….and is small packaged for the pin to keep the title on Velvet at 11:10. It’s as quick as it sounds.

Rating: D+. The story was fine but Velvet continues to be embarrassing in the ring. The knee suddenly being fine was really annoying and the ending was botched beyond belief. I couldn’t tell who got the pin until the music was playing and that’s not a good sign at all. Nothing to see here and I have no idea why they’re keeping the title on Velvet other than to give it to Terrell eventually.

Bully Ray says he’s finishing Hogan tonight.

Hulk is talking to Brooke and we get some bad acting from the daughter. Hulk promises he’ll be right back and has to do this alone.

Here’s Ray in the ring to list off everyone Aces and 8’s have taken out. There’s only Hogan left so get out here right now. Ray gets in Hogan’s face and says Hogan fears him because Ray reminds Hulk of himself. Ray says they’re both the last of a dying breed but Hulk says Hulkamania will never die.

The champ spits in Hogan’s face so Hogan tears the shirt open and points the finger in Hulk’s face. Ray points a finger in Hulk’s face and the fight is on. Ray of course runs and says surround the ring. Hogan is in trouble but the lights go out and Sting appears for the save. The Bikers run away and the old guys stare each other down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t their best work. The Hogan stuff was by far the focus of the show and Hulk continued to prove why he’s kind of an idiot as GM. The wrestling was nothing special at all and this did nothing to make me want to see where this is going. It all feels like we’ve seen this before, which we have although it was in WCW. Now that story was sixteen years ago so it’s more than fair grounds to copy it, but at least give us something different. Not much to see here.

Results

Taryn Terrell b. Tara – Rollup

Rob Terry b. Jesse Godderz – Spinebuster

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode – Frog Splash to Roode

Velvet Sky b. Mickie James – Small Package

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Lockdown 2007
Date: April 15, 2007
Location: Family Arena, Saint Charles, Missouri
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

Back to TNA now for a show that apparently holds the record for highest PPV attendance. This is the usual deal where everything is in a cage. The main event is Lethal Lockdown, which is their version of WarGames. The teams tonight are Team Cage vs. Team Angle which is a feud that went on forever. Anyway let’s get to it.

The opening video is about prisons. Makes sense. It shifts into a video about how deadly the main event is.

Lethal, who is pretty freshly Black Machismo, as in he started it ten days earlier, says he’s going to win the title tonight.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Jay Lethal vs. Alex Shelley vs. Shark Boy

Sabin is champion and this is an Xscape match, as in first one out is the winner. They tried this a bunch of times but they screwed it up by having like ten people in it. Five is about perfect. Lethal has Nash with him. The cage is kind of different as it looks like the old cage with the squares in the walls, but they’re a lot smaller. I like it. And they have to tag. What exactly are the rules for this thing? That’s not worth letting us know, because we need to talk about the main event.

Dutt and Sabin start. If I remember right, it’s elimination rules and when you get down to the final two it’s escape only. Hey I’m right. Sabin and Shelley try to cheat but Sabin has to put the brakes on. Dutt does his flips but gets placed on the top rope. Sabin sets for a superplex but Shark Boy walks the ropes and tags himself in for a three man Tower of Doom.

Sharky vs. Shelley now and a neckbreaker gets two for the fish. Hurricanrana and a missile dropkick get two. Sabin and Shelley work together a bit more but Shark Boy easily takes care of both of them. To be fair the Guns weren’t a team in TNA yet but this would be their first date for lack of a better term. Sharky tries Diamond Dust but gets caught in a reverse DDT by Shelley. A double legdrop via the Guns take care of him and we’re down to four.

Lethal is in next to a big reaction. Lethal works over Alex but Sabin interferes again and Shelley hits a top rope jawbreaker to put Lethal down. Sabin goes over and blasts Dutt for no apparent reason. Not a nice guy. Sabin vs. Lethal now with Sabin firing off a rapid fire Garvin Stomp. The Guns hit some stuff that would become signature moves over the years. The fans love Shelley.

The Guns beat on Dutt as only they can. Off to Lethal and things speed up again. He fires off a ton of rights to Sabin but the Guns are too much for him. The sequence where they get Lethal on the mat with Shelley having him in a neckbreaker position so Sabin can hit a running dropkick gets two. Dutt tries a springboard double clothesline but slips off so he hits Shelley but the wrong side of him.

Dutt hits an Asai Moonsault press but the Guns are too much for him as Shelley hits a Stunner and crossface style hold. It’s a tag match now and the non-Guns have stereo submissions on. The ASCS Rush puts Lethal down and a wicked Cradle Shock gets rid of Dutt. Lethal hits Lethal Combinations on both guys and the top rope elbow gets us down to two. Now it’s just escape. Lethal takes over and they both climb. They get on the top and both climb down but Sabin gets a kick to knock him into the cage, allowing Chris to drop to the floor to retain.

Rating: B-. This was a very solid opener with the crowd getting way into the Guns. They would officially unite by the end of the month, starting off a multi-year run which is still technically going despite injuries. Lethal would get the title during the summer, holding it for a whopping two days! The Guns would somehow not win the tag titles until 2010.

Team Cage (world champion Christian Cage, Tomko, Steiner, AJ and Abyss) says they’ll win but Tomko and Abyss almost get into a fight. Christian points out that Team Angle arrived separately. They don’t like Jarrett, who is the last member of Team Angle. If any member of Team Cage gets the winning fall, they get a title shot. This turns into Steiner and Tomko arguing about Christmas.

We recap Roode vs. Young which is still going on. The idea is that Young signed a contract with Young after getting screwed by Miss Brooks. This would be probably the peak of Young’s popularity. Young talked about having a friend who would help him and Petey Williams started helping him. That’s not the friend, who would be revealed in a few weeks.

Petey Williams vs. Robert Roode

Roode is the rich dude still. Young is with Roode and gets yelled at before the match. Petey hammers away to start and controls early with speed and stomping. Springboard Codebreaker gets two. Williams does the Tree of Woe spot where he stands on Roode’s balls and sings O Canada. Roode manages to send him into the buckle to shift momentum and I remember why I never wanted to see him get a singles push.

Roode is just totally uninteresting at this point. If you think he’s boring now, today’s Roode has NOTHING on 07 Roode. A SICK clothesline puts Williams down and Eric is just kind of sitting there and doesn’t like what he’s seeing. Middle rope kneedrop gets two. Off to the chinlock. Petey makes a comeback and tries a crucifix for two but he eats cage to break that up. I don’t remember anyone else going into the cage all night until then.

Rock Bottom gets two. Brooks tries to send in a hockey stick but Young makes the save. Williams hits something that we miss as Brooks and Eric are fighting outside. Williams hits a rana back inside as the camera is from above the cage for some reason. The camera goes back to Young so AGAIN we miss whatever Petey uses for two. A dropkick doesn’t hit Roode but he goes into the corner anyway.

Despite that PAINFUL missing dropkick, Roode hits a spinebuster for two. The Canadian sitcom on the floor continues as Roode demands the hockey stick, but Petey hits a cool DDT for two. Now Petey asks for the stick and a few shots with it take Roode down. And Hebner intercepts it because we can’t have weapons in a cage or something. Rollup gets two for Williams. Destroyer is countered and the Payoff (PerfectPlex) ends this.

Rating: C. I kind of liked this actually. Young was wildly popular at this point which shows you how bad Roode was, considering even he couldn’t get over with Young out there. Roode was just so boring and uninteresting that he needed Beer Money or he would have had nothing else to do.

Roode shoves Young post match.

Angle goes to talk to Rhyno who isn’t happy. They have to change the order of entrance tonight. Rhyno doesn’t trust Jarrett but Joe REALLY doesn’t trust him, so Angle should go have this talk with Joe instead.

We recap Gail vs. Jackie. Does it really matter? There was something at Final Resolution, Jackie TALKED REALLY LOUDLY and since that’s the extent of what she does, there’s your story.

Jackie Moore vs. Gail Kim

Gail does look good in those little sky blue shorts. They start fighting on the ramp and Jackie takes over, sending Gail on top of the announce table. Gail gets water poured on her and they haven’t been in the cage yet even though the bell rang. Ok now they’re inside (with a nice view of Gail on the way in) and the fans do not seem to care. Gail goes to escape about 20 seconds after they’re in but Jackie continues to be annoying by making this continue.

Jackie takes over and I always wonder why she had a job. Either way, the American hits a German on the Canadian but Gail pops up anyway. They exchange worthless attempts to go up and Gail gets a sunset flip for one. I think Gail gets sent into the cage but it really wasn’t clear. Gail goes up and hits a dropkick and both of them are down. Kim gets up and goes for the door, resulting in a brawl on the apron with the door open. Gail slams it on Jackie’s face but stays in. Gail goes up and jumps off with a cross body (hitting Jackie square in the face. At least she couldn’t make Jackie any uglier) for the pin.

Rating: D. This was rather bad and not just because I can’t stand Jackie Moore. The cage slamming onto Jackie’s head did make me smile but anytime someone beats her up it’s a good thing. The cross body was bad looking, because that could have been a bad injury to either of them. Still though, bad match.

Bob Backlund, the referee for the next match, is insane and has long fingernails. He doesn’t say he’ll call it down the line.

Austin Starr vs. Senshi

No backstory to this, because I don’t think TNA can explain it either. This went on for awhile and there was something about Kevin Nash holding a tournament which turned into a talent show and the X-Division Title was involved somehow. It made no sense and I don’t think they knew what was going on with it. I say that about a lot of stories, but this was one of the stranger ones ever.

Starr is Austin Aries who is from TV Land. See what I mean by this story making no sense? Backlund tries to keep things civil and Senshi takes over with his high impact stuff. Senshi chops him a lot Starr takes over with a back rake and suplex for two. STO sets up the pendulum elbow for two. Powerbomb gets two and it’s off to a half crab. Some more back work eats up a minute or two.

Senshi comes back with kicks to take over. Starr gets backdropped into the cage and a Capo kick gets two. Austin takes over again because guys of this style don’t particularly care for selling. He hits a powerbomb kind of move out of the corner and uses the ropes for two. Backlund gets shoved into the ropes to crotch Senshi who was setting for the Warrior’s Way. 450 gets two. Starr shoves Backlund and Bob shoves him into a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was fine, but I just don’t care about these guys. I have no idea what the point of it was and like I said, I doubt TNA did either. This was basically any match with these two in it that you would pick out of a pile. There were some decent spots, but it came and went and I don’t care. Just not my taste at all.

Joe yells about Angle not letting him know who the fifth man (Jarrett) was. Come find him if you want Kurt. The idea is no one trusts Jeff. He tells Jeff to please cross a line with him because Joe will kill him if he does.

We recap Storm vs. Harris. Storm broke a beer bottle over Harris’ eye so he might never be able to see again. The result: a blindfold match, probably because no one ever watched Wrestlemania 7.

Chris Harris vs. James Storm

They’re both under hoods so they can’t see. Now go have a cage match boys! The chant of Fire Russo starts up immediately. No contact in the first minute. Ninety seconds. Storm corners the referee at about a minute thirty five. Two minutes in and the literally pass with an inch between them. Two and a half and no contact at all. They touch at 2:37 but both miss punches so let’s try it again. Three minutes now and the fans say they want wrestling. They touch again at about 3:15 and Harris tries to go to the mat but that doesn’t work either so they stop again.

Bear in mind, when there’s no “action” going on, they’re just wandering around with their hands out trying to find each other. That’s it. That’s ALL that happens. Harris points to his head with an idea. Or is he saying put the bullet here because my career is over? Anyway he points around the ring and the crowd cheering tells him where to go. Four minutes in and Harris hits seven punches and they do it again.

They get some really basic offense in (as in a knee to the ribs is a high level move) and Harris punches Storm so hard the hood flies off. We get one of the loudest BORING chants I’ve ever heard as Storm slams him but Harris rolls away to avoid an elbow. This is literally almost spot for spot the same match as Roberts vs. Martel back in 1991. Storm’s hood comes off again (Hey Storm: you’re a heel. TAKE IT OFF AND CHEAT YOU IDIOT!) but that could be too interesting so it’s back to the crawling around.

Somehow Storm manages to hit a reverse tornado DDT for two. The crowd isn’t booing now. They’re just silent. Harris counters two more attempts at it and hits a cutter off the middle rope for two. That gets two and Storm tries to climb but Harris uses the crowd again to make a save. They fight on the top rope and Harris does something like a spear off the top for two. Harris loses his hood, hits a full nelson slam….and it gets two. Harris grabs the referee and tries a Sharpshooter on him for some reason. Storm FINALLY CHEATS, hitting the Last Call with the hood off for the pin.

Rating: S. As in Sacrifice. Watch their match at Sacrifice. It’s one of the best TNA matches I’ve ever seen whereas this was just horrible. The stipulation makes sense, but as usual it’s not something that they thought through. The match ran about ten minutes and probably eight and a half was them walking around. One of the worst matches ever, and that covers a lot. Meltzer said it was the worst match of the year and I can’t say I disagree.

Angle talks to Sting who isn’t thrilled with Jarrett either. Kurt checks to make sure they’re all on the same side and Sting says he’ll go with it, but he’ll take both of them out if Jarrett does something out of line.

Daniels does some creepy promo about his purpose or something like that. He has to sacrifice something or other.

Jerry Lynn vs. Christopher Daniels

Lynn jumps him as he comes in as I think this is old vs. new but they really aren’t that clear on it. Daniels gets beaten down quickly but hits a neck snap on the top to take over. Victory roll gets two for Lynn. A leg lariat puts Jerry down and the crowd is being all quiet again. To be fair they have to follow that nonsense from the previous match so it’s going to take a lot to get them back into anything.

Daniels grabs a cord from a camera to choke Jerry. The crowd is SILENT here. Tenay tries to pass it off as the fans are too confused by Daniels. Whatever makes you sleep better at night Mikey. Lynn starts a comeback and sends Daniels into the cage. Rana gets two. DDT gets the same. This match needs to end soon. Daniels backdrops him into the cage but Lynn gets a quick cradle piledriver attempt.

Release Rock Bottom looks to set up the BME but Lynn rolls out of the way. Facejam gets two. The crowd is trying to get into it but it’s really not happening. They both go up top and Daniels hits a Downward Spiral off the top. They exchange near falls and the fans suddenly think this is awesome. I’m not sure that’s what I’d say but whatever. They go up top again where Angels’ Wings and Cradle Piledriver attempts fail. Last Rites (Cross Rhodes) ends this back in the ring.

Rating: C. Yeah whatever. Anyone that has read one of my TNA reviews before knows I don’t care for Daniels and this is no exception. The match wasn’t bad but it was just a match. The lack of a story is really hurting things here because I don’t know why these two hate each other. That and the cage is getting old.

Team 3D says they’ll win their first titles in TNA. They have a WCW tag title and a WWF tag title each. It’s an electrified steel cage match against LAX. Bubba does the talking (of course) and says tonight they win their 20th tag titles.

Quick recap video for the tag title match. Basically it’s an electrified cage match because that’s how it is at the border. Konnan’s idea, not mine.

LAX says the violence goes up tonight. Konnan is in a wheelchair at this point.

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. LAX

No Konnan to start. This gets big match intros as it’s basically the first of two main events. The lights are dimmed for this so it’s almost blue. Apparently the current going through the cage is only on in certain places at certain times. They don’t have to tag because when the cage is electrified, tagging is pretty stupid. Team 3D controls to start. This is a hard match to call because they’re moving around kind of strangely here, due to trying to avoid the cage. It’s not bad per se, but it’s not the most exciting thing in the world.

What’s Up hits and at least D-Von was very tentative about going up due to being next to the cage. LAX takes over and uses whatever cheating methods they can. D-Von is busted and Homicide’s hand touches the cage to give us the first electrocution in the match. I didn’t expect to have to write that. Hernandez is busted too. He goes up but D-Von manages to crotch him. Homicide is crotched as well and we get nearly stereo superplexes.

D-Von beats up Homicide, hitting a powerslam for two. Konnan has been wheeled out. Whoever wheeled him out beat down the outside referee and gave Konnan some rubber gloves. Hector Guerrero, the Spanish announcer, jumps that guy (we can’t see who he is) and stares down Konnan. Apparently the guy who wheeled Konnan out was trying to get the key to the door. Hector unlocked it and the door is open. It’s hard to tell what’s going on due to the light. Bubba yells at him to hand him an F’ing table.

The delay allows for LAX to get a quick takeover but Hernandez stops to yell at Hector, so Hector slams the door on his head. The double neckbreker gets two on SuperMex. Bubba Bomb gets two on Homicide. Samoan Drop gets two on D-Von. Top rope elbow gets the same. This has gotten a good deal better. HUGE layout powerbomb gets two on Homicide by Bubba.

We get the first big electrocution spot as Hernandez Border Tosses D-Von into the cage and he vibrates like a fish on a fish frying plate. He’s COVERED in blood, which would be more effective if you could see it. The fans aren’t that thrilled with this as they chant Fire Russo. A middle rope elbow gets two for Bubba. D-Von is apparently fine after the MASSIVE ELECTROCUTION as a Doomsday Device gets two.

The table gets loaded up and D-Von is placed onto it. Hernandez puts some rubber gloves on but takes forever to do it. He climbs to the top of the cage but since he took FOREVER, the splash through the table misses. Looked awesome though. The Dudleys take over on Homicide, throw him into the cage, botch a 3D off the cage and then hit the 3D for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. Yes it was bad, but it wasn’t THAT bad. I mean, if you compare this to the blindfold match it’s a masterpiece. The cage stuff was stupid and I’m really not sure what the point of the lights was. Maybe the cage sucked too much electricity out? Anyway, not a horrible match but it was probably way too much for the payoff they got out of it.

Angle yells at JB for suggesting that calling Jarrett was an act of desperation. Team 3D’s music is still playing because they almost immediately cut away. That’s a running thing in TNA: it’s like they’re always running behind schedule.

We recap Lethal Lockdown, which is WarGames which I’m not going to explain again. Basically it’s Christian as champion and Angle wants it. Whoever gets the fall here, wins the title shot I believe. Also Jarrett is there because Angle couldn’t find anyone else. He was totally evil before he left for a few months, but Angle vouches for him. Abyss isn’t sure if he wants to be on Christian’s team but he was basically forced to due to a threat of violence against his mother. No one thought Angle had 5 guys but Sting and Jarrett showed up to fill out the team. No one trusts Jarrett other than Angle though.

Harley Race will be keeping the key.

Team Christian vs. Team Angle

Christian Cage, Tomko, AJ Styles, Abyss, Scott Steiner
Kurt Angle, Sting, Jeff Jarrett, Samoa Joe, Rhyno

Two people start for five minutes, Team Cage gets the advantage for two minutes, after everyone is in the roof with weapons lowers, first fall wins and gets a shot at Christian at Sacrifice. AJ vs. Angle to start. AJ is still kind of an idiot at this point. He tries to take it to the mat but Angle is like boy please. Pretty much just feeling each other out so far to start. Angle goes into something made of steel and AJ stomps away. Off to the chinlock as they’re saving energy for later in the match. Kurt pops off an Angle Slam out of nowhere as the clock runs down.

Abyss is out second and Angle is in trouble. Shock Treatment to Angle and things go really slowly. Remember that there are two minute periods from now on. With really nothing happening in that period, here’s Rhyno who has to pose on the ramp before going to help his partner. He cleans house for awhile and hits a clothesline to take Abyss down. Angle is back up now so it’s a bit more balanced. Tomko comes out to make it 3-2.

The drug addict goes after the guy with alcoholic tendencies and the bearded one wins. Rhyno is busted. Joe comes in third. A lot of these periods are just coming and going with nothing interesting happening at all. Joe beats up Abyss while everyone else is kind of standing around. Down goes Tomko but AJ gets in a shot. MuscleBuster puts AJ down and Tomko takes Rolling Germans. Abyss gets caught in Joe’s Clutch as Steiner comes in to make it 4-3.

Just like the rest of the periods, he beats up all of the partners and hits what he calls the Frankensteiner on Rhyno. Other than that it’s all belly to belly suplexes. Sting comes in to tie it up. Death Drop to Abyss, Splash to Steiner, Splash to Abyss, Splash to Tomko/Styles. AJ tries to climb but Joe chases him, resulting in a SIX MAN TOWER OF DOOM. Ok that was awesome. Deathlock to Steiner but Tomko breaks it up. Christian is the final member of his team to make it 5-4.

Chops don’t work on Sting so Christian gets beaten down. Does no one watch Flair matches? Sting beats up Christian for a few moments and puts the Deathlock on him. Here’s Jarrett to fire off dropkicks for everyone and a Stroke for AJ. The roof is lowered. Everyone stands up and it’s a five on five brawl, rendering the first 21 minutes of this match totally useless.

Jarrett gets a bat but throws it to Sting. Rhyno gets a garbage can in the same method. Total dominance at this point by Team Angle. AJ gets the bat and clubs everyone not named Angle. AJ goes up through a hole in the roof to the top of the cage for some reason. Angle follows him up and Mitchell gives Abyss bags of tacks. Race pops Mitchell for his efforts and the crowd really doesn’t seem to care about this match.

Rhyno gores Tomko through the door as AJ and Angle try not to die by falling off the top of the cage. AJ cracks Angle in the head with a chair and Rhyno goes to the floor also. Steiner goes outside too and Joe dives onto Tomko. There are only four left in the cage. Abyss lays out the tacks but can’t chokeslam Sting and Jarrett at the same time.

Christian takes a double chokeslam from Sting and Jarrett which is a cool visual. Black Hole Slam to Jarrett but not onto the tacks. Angle knocks AJ off the cage onto the people outside the cage. SCARY stuff there. Abyss pours the other bag of tacks into the guitar and since he loaded it up, it goes over his head and Jarrett lets Sting get the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. This was more or less every Lethal Lockdown match you’ll ever see: there are too many people in the ring, the periods don’t mean anything until the end, and the match is pretty dull until the last five minutes. Still though it’s fun and it does what it’s supposed to do, which is all you can really ask for.

Sting, Rhyno and Joe shake Jarrett’s hand but Angle walks away as the show ends.

Overall Rating: D. The show isn’t totally worthless and awful, but there’s a lot more bad than good on it. The worst two matches, the blindfold and electric matches, are by far the worst with the blindfold one being one of the worst I’ve ever seen. The pretty good main event doesn’t save it and by the time you’ve sat through two and a half hours of drek, the good opener is long forgotten. Not the worst show ever, but it’s certainly not worth watching.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 14, 2013
Location: Sears Center, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley

We’re past the Orlando era now as Impact will be on the road permanently going forward. The main story of course is that Bully Ray is the new TNA World Champion, having beaten Jeff Hardy on Sunday at Lockdow while also revealing that he is in fact the President of Aces and 8’s, FINALLY giving the team both a leader as well as a major accomplishment. We’ll hear about that as well as see AJ Styles live on Impact for the first time in months tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Lockdown with Hogan telling Bully Ray to be remembered as he won the title. This transitions into a package of still photos from the world title match with Ray accepting the help of Aces and 8’s and winning the title.

Tag Titles: Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

Never mind as Aces and 8’s beat down Chavo and Hernandez before the champions ever come to the ring.

D-Von says this is the team that is going to take over TNA and introduces the new world champion Bully Ray. Bully and D-Von do their old Dudleys pose before Bully is presented with his biker vest. Ray asks if we know who he is before saying he’s the President of Aces and 8’s, the world champion, the man who fooled Sting, Hulk and Brooke but also made fools out of all the fans. For nine months the fans bought into Ray and all the lies he told.

On Sunday he was so proud of the team and he never felt better than when he hit Jeff with the hammer to win the title. The plan was delayed a bit as Bully was supposed to leave when Wes and Garrett came into the cage, but they waited until the Hogans came down. See, an hour before the main event, Hulk gave Bully a lecture about doing something memorable. Ray says that’s something the NWO never could accomplish. Ray begs Hogan to come out and fire him but knows Hulk won’t do it. He says when you ride with Aces and 8’s, you never ride alone.

Sting is in the back freaking out about how Aces and 8’s are burning TNA at the stake. He need to talk to Hulk so he can get his hands on Aces and 8’s tonight.

Gail Kim/Tara vs. Mickie James/Velvet Sky

A pre-match interview with Gail talks about how Teryn Terrell is on probation for costing Gail the title on Sunday. Gail and Velvet start things off with Sky taking Gail down with a series of armdrags. Off to Mickie for a double rolling leg drag on Kim. Mickie chokes Gail in the corner and gets two off an enziguri as we take a break. Back with Mickie getting caught in the Tarantula from Tara in the ropes.

A double slingshot suplex gets two for Gail on Mickie and it’s off to the corner for some choking. Mickie comes out of said corner with a hurricanrana and there’s the hot tag to Velvet. Gail and Teryn get in an argument with Gail shoving her down. Terrell smacks her in the face, allowing Mickie to hit the Thesz Press off the top on Gail. Tara hits Mickie with the Widow’s Peak but Velvet takes out Tara with In Yo Face for the pin at 9:40.

Rating: C. This was one of the better women’s matches I’ve seen in a very long time. Mickie is so smooth in the ring and it’s very nice to see those long legs back again. The rest of the match was ok but Gail vs. Teryn does nothing for me as there’s no reason to care about Terrell other than she’s a hot blonde.

We recap the Aces and 8’s segment from earlier before going to the back to see Bully toasting Aces and 8’s. He thanks them for being behind him these past nine months but realizes he hasn’t talked to his wife in awhile. Bully calls Brooke and they leave her a voicemail to get on her nerves. Oh and say hi to dad for him.

Hulk won’t answer anything about Aces and 8’s.

Robbie E vs. Robbie Terry

This is a rematch from the PPV where E got destroyed. Terry power walks to the ring, sending E running to the floor. E tries to jump Terry but it has no effect at all. A big beal sends E flying as does a one man flapjack. Terry hits a modified Jackhammer as the fans chant feed me more ala Ryback. The fireman’s carry into a spinebuster gets the pin for Terry at 1:19.

Terry dances post match.

Sting goes in to see Hulk and we cut to a break.

Aces and 8’s continue to celebrate.

Hogan blames Sting for everything that happened with Bully. Sting wants Bully tonight but Hogan goes on a rant, saying he never should have trusted Bully. Apparently everything is over and nothing can get better again.

We recap AJ’s saga and his loss to Daniels on PPV. We also look at the Claire Lynch stuff and AJ walking out on the company.

Sting runs into Aries and Roode, now with matching shirts that identify them as dirty heels. They make fun of him for causing all of these problems and say that it’s unfortunate that they can’t fight, because they were going to give Hogan and Sting a title shot. Sting says he wants to fight and Roode bails, leaving Aries alone with the Stinger. Apparently they’re fighting later tonight.

Here’s AJ back to Impact after several months away. Or actually not as instead it’s Bad Influence in Road Warrior attire. Ok that’s pretty awesome. They don’t have the spikes but they can do the poses perfectly. Kaz says they’re bringing back Throwback Thursday and paying homage to the second best tag team in wrestling history. Daniels even does Hawk’s WEEEEEEEEEEEEEL catchphrase. Apparently this is the Legion of Boom.

This brings out James Storm who says that the original LOD is a little bigger, a little tougher and a lot more over than these two are. Bad Influence gets to pick which of them gets beaten up by Storm right now.

James Storm vs. Christopher Daniels

Storm starts fast and throws Daniels around before ramming Daniels into Kaz, getting two as a result. Kaz trips up Storm to get Daniels control which includes a slingshot moonsault. Storm comes back in a slugout though but can’t hit Eye of the Storm. Daniels puts him down with a release Rock Bottom, only to miss the BME. Storm hits Closing Time and a Backstabber for the pin at 3:43.

Rating: C. Not much you can say about a match that long. Storm in a big time program would be a good thing for him as after last year he’s desperately in need of a reset. Daniels vs. AJ must be coming again though, because this is TNA and that’s how things work around here. Not much to the match but it was fine.

Post match Bad Influence beats up Storm but here’s the returning AJ to lay out the evil tag team. Daniels bails but AJ hits Storm as well.

We recap Wes Brisco vs. Kurt Angle from Sunday before seeing Aces and 8’s destroying Angle in the back.

Here’s Joseph Park who is gushing about having two wins now. He’s been reflecting on his accomplishments, including graduating law school and making partner at Park Park and Park. Park grew up around here going to Cubs games (mixed reaction) and going to Blackhawks games (POP) and he can’t wait for what’s coming next.

This brings out Matt Morgan to make fun of Hulk because that story is still going on after not being mentioned for months I guess. Morgan doesn’t like Park having a contract here and calls Park Hogan’s biggest mistake. One by one, Morgan is going to eliminate each and every one of Hulk’s mistakes, starting with Park. He tells Park to leave but Morgan insults Chicago and that means it’s time to fight. Morgan uses the always lame “on my time” excuse and goes to leave, only to catch Park not paying attention and kicking him in the head. Morgan says his time is next week.

Aces and 8’s want to know if Hulk is going to fire them because they’ve destroyed a lot of people. Ray thinks destroying the show sounds like a good idea so let’s go do that.

We get some clips of Brooke freaking out after the end of Lockdown.

Austin Aries vs. Sting

Feeling out process to start as the fans are split on who to cheer for. Sting carries Aries over to the corner but Austin lays on the ropes to show off. Sting kicks him down but misses a Stinger Splash as Aries bails to the outside. Back in for a bit before Sting knocks him right back to the floor. There’s the Stinger Splash to Roode against the barricade and Aries is sent through the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Sting still in control but he has to stop and yell at Roode, which gets Bobby ejected. The distraction lets Aries kick the rope into the Little Stingers and there’s the suicide dive for good measure. Back in and Aries hits a middle rope dropkick to the back of a seated Sting for two. Aries pounds away in the corner but Sting gets in a few right hands. A dropkick to the knee puts Sting back down though and Aries keeps control via a quickly broken half crab.

Back up and Sting misses a dropkick but Aries tries for the Scorpion Deathlock. Unfortunately he doesn’t know hot to hook the hold and Sting is able to come back again. A big clothesline spins Aries inside out but Austin bails away from the real Scorpion. After guillotining Sting down on the top rope, a missile dropkick puts Sting down for about one second.

Sting busts out a gorilla press slam before missing another Stinger Splash. Aries hits a running dropkick in the corner and a running splash of his own. The brainbuster is countered into a Scorpion Death Drop for two but the Stinger Splash sets up the Deathlock…but here are Aces and 8’s for the DQ at 15:16.

Rating: C+. Good match here until the run in ended as this match continues to become more and more like the NWO. The match was rolling along until the end with a story of Sting not being able to hit the Splash until the end. It was cool to see the old gorilla press come back here though and the match was better than I was expecting.

Aces and 8’s want to know if Hogan is going to fire them.

After a break Ray is still wanting Hogan to come out and here he is. Hulk is still on crutches so he stays on the stage. He says firing Aces and 8’s would be too easy and they deserve the hard way. It might not be today or tomorrow, but it’s coming. Right now, Hogan is telling everyone on the roster to go to war with the bikers.

About five guys (including Angle, Terry, Hardy, Chavo and Hernandez) runs out to beat down Aces and 8’s but there are too many bikers resulting in a big beatdown of the TNA guys. Jeff Hardy is beaten down in just a few seconds and this is a pretty lame brawl. Ray says is this what you meant by memorable and starts destroying everyone with his chain. Ray goes halfway up the ramp and says the cavalry just got destroyed. He asks what his dad is going to do to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a really solid show tonight as everything seemed to have a new energy to it. It was cool to see Aces and 8’s with a swagger that they could back up, which is probably because none of them wrestled tonight. Everything had a point tonight and it was like the beginning of a new year for the show in a lot of ways. I’m excited for next week’s Impact which is a rarity anymore.

Results

Mickie James/Velvet Sky b. Tara/Gail Kim – In Yo Face to Tara

Rob Terry b. Robbie E – Spinebuster

James Storm b. Christopher Daniels – Backstabber

Sting b. Austin Aries via DQ when Aces and 8’s interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 9, 2012
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Against All Odds and the final show in England. These shows are always fun because you get a much better crowd before we head back to Orlando on Sunday and the crowd that could put a Nick Bockwinkle promo to sleep. We’ll probably get a few more matches to flesh out the card tonight and remember there’s no Hardy due to travel issues. Let’s get to it.

Oh and it’s the Star Wars episode. This could mean ANYTHING.

We open with the Star Wars theme and shots of Qui-Gon Jin and Obi-Wan preparing to face droids. This is put together with hogan returning last week. We also talk about the four way a bit.

Here’s Ray to open the show who says he wants to talk to Bobby Roode and only Bobby Roode right now. Ray isn’t happy. Here’s Roode and Ray says cut his music. He meets Roode in the aisle and wants to know why Roode hasn’t had his back at all. Ray says he had Roode’s back against Storm but where was Roode for him? He says that Roode has the title because Ray has kept it on him.

Roode says he’s had Ray’s back and Ray says that’s true, but last time he put a knife in it. Bobby says their problems are both with Sting and here comes the scorpion enthusiast. Sting declares himself the special enforcer at the PPV and also, tonight it’s going to be the two of them against Storm and himself.

Hogan and Garrett arrive.

We recap the AJ/Daniels/Kaz story with Kaz being forced to turn on AJ due to some form of control that Daniels has over him.

Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles

These two must be approaching Sheik vs. Bobo Brazil lengths of a feud. Daniels jumps him quickly but AJ knocks him to the floor and hits a great flipping dive. Coming back in AJ dives over the top and almost gets the Styles Clash but Daniels kicks him away. Daniels tries to pull out a foreign object but the referee sees him trying it. Daniels throws it to Kaz which the referee misses. AJ gets knocked to the floor as Daniels takes over. Back in a clothesline gets two.

Daniels hooks what appears to be a nerve hold and the fans are split. AJ gets in an enziguri to put Daniels down. Christopher goes over to Kaz for the foreign object but Kaz doesn’t throw it in. Styles hits his moonsault into a reverse DDT and the springboard forearm. The Clash is countered again into a release Rock Bottom. BME misses but Daniels lands on his feet. Pele puts Daniels down but this time Kaz gives him the object. AJ tries to load up the Clash but as he pulls Daniels up, Daniels pops him with the knucks for the pin at 5:46.

Rating: B-. I really liked this match, probably a lot more than most AJ vs. Daniels matches. This feud has been done to death so if they have to do it again, I’m glad they’re adding in a new factor to it. The object was a fine little plot point to the match and it worked very well for this. Good match and far more entertaining than what they usually do in my eyes.

Gunner tells Bischoff he’ll protect him later.

Here are Joe and Magnus. Magnus talks about being back in the UK and how he has nothing against most parts of it. Tonight however, they’re not in Her Majesty’s UK. They’re in England. Tonight he’s come home and he’s brought his partner with him. A few months ago there was a Wild Card Tag Team Tournament and everyone said this wouldn’t work. However, they’ve proven everyone wrong. As for Morgan and Crimson, the only reason they’re a team is so they don’t have to face each other. At Against All Odds, they’ll win the titles.

Here are the champions and they say the time for talking is done. The champs clear the ring very quickly, running over Magnus and Joe as they have every time that it’s been on a level playing field. Joe pulls Magnus out before the double chokeslam takes him out.

Austin Aries vs. Doug Williams vs. Alex Shelley

This is non-title. Aries is sent to the floor so Williams and Shelley do their own thing for a few moments. Sliced Bread is countered and Williams goes after Shelley’s knee. Aries slides back as Shelley hits the floor. Doug dives on Shelley and Aries dives on Doug to put everyone down. Aries tries a superplex on Williams but Shelley comes back in and tries a Doomsday Device, but Aries escapes. Pendulum Elbow takes WAY too long to launch and Shelley moves. Chaos Theory to Shelley hits but Aries kicks Williams low to break it up. Shelley countered the brainbuster and hits Sliced Bread for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: C+. Fun match and it was a good way to have Shelley get momentum going into Sunday and his title shot. Williams is a guy you can bring in for something like this and it works well. They flew around the ring a bit and got the crowd going, which is what the cruiserweight style guys are supposed to do.

Hogan is talking to Garrett in the back when Sting comes in. Sting and Hogan are all cool and Hogan asks Garrett to step out for a minute. Hogan says Sting has a target on him and everyone is coming for him. If Sting needs Hulk’s help, he’ll have it. Sting says he likes the sound of that and Hogan says something is going to go down. The cameraman is thrown out before that gets explained.

Video of the fans talking about how much the love Impact.

Here’s a video from earlier today with Tara at the arena. She’s filming stuff when Gail comes in and beats her up. They go into the arena so as not to draw cops I suppose with Gail destroying her. She leaves Tara laying.

Quick video from Hogan talking about how TNA is this close to being the best in the world.

Here are Hulk and Garrett with Hulk talking about how these are the best fans in the world. Hogan talks about everything the fans have given to him over the years and how now he wants the fans to give all of that to Garrett now. And the fans just do not care one bit. There’s a canned pop and it still sounds weak. Hogan blames Eric for a lot of Garrett’s problems and here’s the papa now.

Eric and Gunner come out and Eric wants to know who Hogan thinks he is to get in Eric’s family business. Hogan says it’s not Eric’s time anymore. Eric says it’s not Hogan’s time anymore and that Hogan has no right to be here. Hogan says Eric doesn’t get it and that he has the Hulkamania Stroke around here. He talked to Sting and Hogan has booked Garrett vs. Gunner at the PPV. There’s more to it but Gunner and Garrett get into a fight. Eric hits Hogan low and down goes Garrett. Hogan gets up and clears the ring, still making Garrett look like a guy that is in way over his head and has to be saved. Garrett hits his dad and that’s about it.

Ray is mad at Roode and yells some more about Roode not having his back. Roode says they’ll be ok and wants a hug. Ray hugs him and says three days.

Hey it’s Hogan and Garrett again. Hulk says that they’ll put an end to Eric’s time in this business so Garrett can have a future. How exactly is Eric stopping that?

Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky

The announcers talk about Star Wars and Princess Leia in particular. The girls are a bit sloppy with Velvet barely holding onto a side roll. Mickie sends her into the corner and the fans are booing this somewhat. Headscissors puts Mickie down but she pops up and hits a low dropkick for two. Mickie hooks a seated abdominal stretch and the fans still don’t care. Velvet comes back and drives Mickie into both knees one at a time. Taz talks about pigeons and both girls reverse each others’ finishers. Velvet rolls Mickie up for the pin with a small package at 5:18.

Rating: D. This was a terrible match as both of them were missing things very rapidly. Also was there any point to this match being on the show? I can’t think of one other than to get hot women in the ring. That’s certainly good enough of a reason but it doesn’t do much for the sake of storylines.

Video on the UK tour so far.

Video on the PPV main event with all four of them talking about the match. There’s a ton of time left too.

Sting/James Storm vs. Bobby Roode/Bully Ray

Sting and Roode start us off and Sting quickly takes him down and puts on the Scorpion in less than two minutes. Ray comes in but Sting avoids the big boot. Off to Storm and the ring is cleared as we take a break. Back with Ray demanding Storm get in and here’s the Cowboy. The announcers talk about how there’s been no sign of Abyss since Genesis, which is a point I had forgotten about.

Storm takes over and winds up for awhile before poking Ray in the eye. Back to Sting as the dominance continues. The heels finally take over and work on the injured ribs of Storm. Roode comes in with a body vice and slams Storm into the mat before Storm can make the tag. Off to a bearhug which Storm breaks up with a poke to the eye. A Russian legsweep takes Ray down and it’s off to Sting vs. Roode.

He beats on Ray as well as house is cleaned. Both guys get splashes but a second to Roode misses. Sting calls on his memories with Flair and slams Roode off for two. Roode’s head goes onto Ray’s balls to send Ray to the outside. Spinebuster gets two on Sting but the fisherman’s suplex is countered. Death Drop puts Roode down and the Deathlock goes on. Ray looks to save but Ray say see you in three days. Roode taps at 15:14.

Rating: C. Yes, the world champion just tapped out clean to the part time wrestler/boss in the middle of the ring three days before a PPV. I’ve got nothing. I’m sure the TNA fanboys will explain to me how this is a brilliant move and foreshadows something or other, but I REALLY do not get who this benefits whatsoever. Was there a reason Storm couldn’t have gotten a pin here? Like ANY reason? I’m needing some help here because I don’t get it at all.

Overall Rating: B-. I really liked tonight’s show and it did a great job of building up Against All Odds. I still really don’t like the overpushing of Bischoff but that’s life in TNA anymore. The main event on Sunday is a pretty wide open field which is something you rarely get in wrestling anymore. Good show here and hopefully that means good things for Against All Odds on Sunday. Also, thank goodness the Star Wars stuff didn’t mean anything.

Results
Christopher Daniels b. AJ Styles – Pin after Daniels hit Styles with brass knuckles
Alex Shelley b. Austin Aries and Doug Williams – Sliced Bread #2 to Aries
Velvet Sky b. Mickie James – Small Package
Sting/James Storm b. Bobby Roode/Bully Ray – Scorpion Deathlock to Roode

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 2, 2012
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

I was going to make a bunch of jokes about being in England tonight but I’ll try to find something funny to say instead. We have two shows in London before heading back to Orlando for Against All Odds on the 12th. I don’t think many matches have been announced officially yet but for the most part you can guess a lot of them which is fine. These shows outside of the Impact Zone are always interesting, so let’s get to it.

We open with a video of the fans who talk about how awesome wrestling is.

Hogan will be back tonight.

Roode and Ray open the show. The place looks great. Ray talks about how the fans aren’t going to see Hardy tonight because they took care of him last week. I think that was done because Hardy has visa issues due to the legal history. Roode says it’s great to be back in Ireland. He insists it’s not them that sucks and praises himself and Ray. I think the fans are chanting for D-Von.

Roode calls out Storm and here’s the Cowboy. Ray gets between them and there’s Sting’s music. The ring looks a lot smaller than usual. Sting says he talked to Hardy yesterday and Jeff will be back at Against All Odds. Sting announces the four way main event that I think we all knew was coming for the title at the PPV. As for tonight, Storm gets both of them in singles matches.

Garrett calls his trainer who will be here tonight.

Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan

Non-title here and it’s a Buckingham Brawl which is a new twist on things: there’s a coin flip to start and the winners get to be in the ring without having to tag, meaning it’s a handicap match in a way. Crimson starts and the numbers game starts up quick. The non-champions dominate for the opening minutes with a power/speed combination.

They set for their double team combination out of the corner but Crimson takes Joe down and Magnus jumps into a suplex. Hot tag brings in Morgan and everything breaks down. Crimson is sent to the floor and the Carbon Footprint misses in the corner. That allows Joe and Magnus to hit their finishing sequence on Morgan and the middle rope elbow gets the pin at 3:56.

Rating: C. Quick match but this was a good way to let Magnus/Joe get one up on the champs. Crimson and Morgan have beaten them I think twice now so why should we buy them having a real chance again? The rule twist was a nice addition and it lets the champs save some face. Decent match and the crowd was way into it.

Eric Bischoff is here.

Here’s Eric in the ring. A kid flips him off at ringside. Eric says he thought the British people were civilized. He says he’s here to burst the bubble of Garrett with a little dose of reality. Eric asks Garrett to come to the ring and then demands it. The arena is a very different setup as the entrance is on the hard camera side, making it almost like the old MSG setup for those of you familiar with it.

Garrett gets here and Eric tells him that no matter who is training him (remember that Eric knows who it is) it’s not going to matter because Garrett is never going to be good enough. Garrett asks why Eric doesn’t take it up with the trainer and Eric says that the trainer will never be here. The trainer (presumably) calls Garrett and Garrett doesn’t look that pleased. The trainer is here tonight and wants to speak with Eric.

Mark Haskins, a British guy that was in some X-Division series that was put on last year, talks about how he’s here to do whatever it takes to win. He says he’ll win the title.

Mark Haskins vs. Austin Aries

This is non-title I believe. The entire front row has its back to the ring for somer eason. Aries takes him to the mat and the fans still like Aries more than the hometown boy. Haskins is sent over the top but he skins the cat into a headscissors to take over. Aries skins the cat as well but Haskins dropkicks him down. Haskins sets for a plancha but Aries slides in. A springboard attempt is countered, resulting in Haskins being crotched.

A top rope shot to the floor takes him down even more and the fans are all for Aries. Back in and Haskins gets crotched again. A low dropkick misses and Haskins starts his comeback. A monkey flip puts Aries down but a second is countered. Haskins nips up and runs the ropes for a springboard crossbody. A cutter gets two on the champ.

Haskins goes up for a Shooting Star and lands Lesnar style, landing right on his head. Since he’s pretty much dead, Aries hits the brainbuster and holds onto him, flipping over to hook kind of a dragon sleeper hold but with Aries behind and under Haskins and pulling back on him for the tap at 4:45.

Rating: C+. Aside from the near neck breaking botch, this was a fun match. Haskins is fast but you would think he would get cheered in his hometown. I don’t know if that’s more praise for Aries or a bad thing about Haskins, although I’m leaning towards the former more than the latter. Good match though.

Eric Bischoff is yelling on the phone about getting a cab and Sting comes to bring him back inside.

James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

Feeling out process to start and Storm takes over. He takes Roode to the mat but the champ heads to the floor to avoid a Last Call. We take a break and come back with Storm hitting a facebuster but walking into a clothesline. There’s going to be a Star Wars Special next week. As long as it’s not the Holiday Special I’m all good with that. Spinebuster gets two. Storm comes back and they slug it out.

Roode goes up top but Storm gets in a big right hand to slow him down. Storm’s trunks have something that looks like the Brahma Bull on it. Storm snaps off a rana to send both guys down. Storm starts his real comeback and hits a Backstabber for no cover. Top rope elbow gets two.

Russian legsweep by Storm is countered into the Crossface but Storm rolls into the ropes. Roode sets for the Payoff but Storm counters into the Eye of the Storm but Roode counters as well. There’s the Payoff but it only gets two. Storm comes back with a Codebreaker to avoid a belt shot. He loads up the Last call but here’s Ray to break it up. That opening allows Roode to spear Storm for the pin at 13:50.

Rating: B-. If I never see another spear it’ll be too soon. This was a good match between two guys that should be facing each other for the title in a big time PPV program but that spot goes to Hardy because Storm never got high during a PPV and made the company look like a joke. Quite a good TV match though.

Post match Ray gives Storm a Rock Bottom onto the title belt. Sting makes the save.

Tara vs. Gail Kim

Tara is #1 contender but from what I can tell, this is non-title. Tara takes over to start and strips her top off for the standing moonsault. Gail takes over with some choking and a knee to the back for two. She hooks a leg lock by bending Tara’s leg over Gail’s neck then a clothesline gets two.

Mike thinks if Tara beats Gail here, it might be an advantage for her going into the rematch at the PPV. A missile dropkick misses for Gail and Tara hammers away. Powerslam (called a snap slam by Tenay) gets two but Rayne runs in for the…not DQ. She ran into Gail but it doesn’t count for some reason. Widow’s Peak ends this at 4:57.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but I really don’t get the theory here. What purpose did this serve? Why not have Rayne take the loss here rather than giving us the match ten days before its on PPV? I really don’t get this company’s thinking at times but then again, why bother trying to get people to buy the TV show when you can give the matches away for free?

Here’s Garrett to reveal the trainer but Eric comes out with Gunner. Eric talks some trash and to not a ton of shock, Hogan is the trainer. The fans of course love him because he’s an old school guy and if you’re loved once, you’re always loved. Hogan and Garrett beat Gunner up for a bit while Eric stands there. Gunner is knocked to the floor and Eric is terrified and runs. Of all the people that Hogan could give a rub to, they picked Garrett Bischoff?

Hogan and Garrett talk about how they’re coming for Eric.

Bully Ray vs. James Storm

This is Storm’s second match of the night and he has bad ribs. Ray works on the injury with some hard shots before draping Storm over the top. Off to a camel clutch for a few moments and then a slam. Here comes Roode and we take a break. Back with Sting coming to the ring with a cricket bat and Ray holding Storm in a bearhug.

Ray lets that go and hits a big boot followed by some elbow drops for two. A splash gets the same. The middle rope backsplash misses and Storm starts his comeback. He wins a nice countering sequence on the apron and a middle rope cross body gets two. Ray tries to grab Storm but gets knocked into the referee. Sting chases Roode out of the ring and the Last Call beats Ray clean at 14:00.

Rating: C+. Not as good as earlier but it was nice to see someone using basic psychology here like Ray was doing. Storm getting a win keeps him strong which is something he needed going into the PPV. Not a great match or anything but Ray has really impressed me in his singles run.

Overall Rating: B. This was pretty good here as the pretty strong string of non-Orlando shows continues. This moved us towards the PPV and gave us a big development in the Bischoff feud. Now if you don’t care for the Bischoff feud or the main event, this wasn’t the show for you because that was the majority of the focus tonight. Hogan being back isn’t a bad thing but hopefully he actually gives someone a rub for a change. That talk of a Star Wars show next week though scares me.

Results
Magnus/Samoa Joe b. Crimson/Matt Morgan – Middle rope elbow to Morgan
Austin Aries b. Mark Haskins – Reverse Dragon Sleeper
Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Spear
Tara b. Gail Kim – Widow’s Peak
James Storm b. Bully Ray – Last Call

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews