I’m going to try to do this either the Friday or Saturday before every PPV.

What do expect for Destination X?

My thoughts:

The last few weeks of Impact have been far better than usual and that’s mainly due to the better pacing of the show.  At the same time the majority of the focus being on the X-Division and random talent that hasn’t been seen in a long time if ever at all.  This should be a fun show, but what I wonder is what’s going to happen once this show passes.  I’d bet they’re just going to go back to business as usual after mentioning Destination X and how awesome it is a few times, which is annoying but probably the best idea overall.  As for match predictions, I’ll take the following:  Abyss over Kendrick  Styles over Daniels  Joe over Kaz (not sure on this one at all)  RVD over Lynn  Zima Ion to win the contract (total hunch here)   As for the fourway, I’ll take Shelley with no real reason.

Your thoughts?

Turning Point 2009
Date: November 15, 2009
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

Back to Orlando for another show here, this time from just before Hogan and Bischoff arrived. AJ is champion here and the main event is against his old buddies in the form of Daniels and Joe. This is back in the period when the idea was AJ is awesome. Other than that there isn’t much going on here but the focus is definitely more on wrestling than drama, and that’s certainly a nice change of pace from today’s product. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about change and how everything goes through it. This of course transitions into a video about Hogan and then into the three way main event. Joe wants to be the best in the world and Daniels wants to prove that he’s as good as AJ. Also Desmond Wolfe has been jumping Angle so they have a match tonight.

X-Division Title: Amazing Red vs. Homicide

Red is champion here but Homicide has pinned him recently. Don West is with Red here. Oh and Homicide is in World Elite which I don’t’ think is going to matter at the end of the day. It’s still a six sided ring too which takes some time to adjust to again. Naturally things speed up quickly and they trade speed moves. Headscissors puts Homicide down but a clothesline turns Red inside out.

West is shouting LOUDLY, as in you can hear him and it’s not loud enough to be on a microphone. Red fights back and gets a seated clothesline for two. What can be described as a Swanton Bomb but falling (I think intentionally) misses and Homicide hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Homicide goes after West which gets him nowhere. The fans chant “no me gusta” (Spanish for I don’t like you) at Homicide in a funny bit.

West playing cheerleader is a funny bit. The coaching he’s giving sounds good too so it’s not as bad as it sounds. Homicide gets a palm shot ala Abdullah the Butcher and it’s off to a modified leg lock. Homicide lets it go and shouts to someone that we can’t see. Red is sat up on the top and they slug it out a bit from there, resulting in Red sending him down. Arm drag off the top by Red which is a cool move I don’t remember seeing before. By that I mean Red jumped and caught one in the air.

DDT gets two and this is a pretty fun opener. Loud “he’s amazing” chant lasts about 3 seconds. This is the Crucial Crew I think and they’re getting very annoying. Red fires off some kicks but gets caught in a dragon screw leg whip and a Michinoku Driver for two. Gringo Killer (Vertebreaker) doesn’t work as Red takes him down and gets a standing shooting star for two.

Moonsault press is mostly caught in a cutter for a long two. West is losing his mind on these kickouts. He’s a very energetic guy to say the least and he’s having a good time out there. Homicide’s top rope rana is reversed into a sunset bomb off the top (called the Code Red. Red jumped down onto Homicide to hook it, making it look awesome) for the pin to retain. Sweet opener.

Rating: B. Good stuff here as the theory of fast paced high flying stuff is a great way to open the show. It worked fine here and West added a nice energy to this. I wouldn’t want to see it every night (West I mean) but for a one off thing here it’s fine. This is the kind of stuff you don’t see anymore in TNA: two guys getting ten minutes to go out there and have a fast paced and fun match. Sad too.

Taz and West run down the card. As in the one we already paid for. I don’t get it either.

Knockout Title/Knockout Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. ODB/Taylor Wilde/Sarita

All titles on the line here and the non-beautiful people are champions. No word on how the titles are split up if one of the three pins a tag champion (Wilde/Sarita). You know I wonder what ODB stands for. I think I’ll see what I can come up with (and spare me the comments saying what it stands for. I know already and I need something to get me through this match). The Beautiful People here are Velvet, Lacey and Madison here. Velvet vs. Wilde to start us off but it’s off to Sarita quickly. Ok make that Department of Bacon. We’re less than a minute in and they’ve all been in already.

Headbutt to the ribs gets two for Date of Birth. Madison comes in and does the touch yourself and burn your finger thing. Instead here though she has to go over to the corner and has Velvet blow on it. I guess men and women both want to be blown by her. The delay allows Original Daniel Bryan to bring in Sarita to fight Madison. The tag champions set up a double team moonsault (belly to back release into a moonsault by Taylor) for two.

Madison takes over and it’s off to Madison. After mounting Wilde she throws on a chinlock for about 2 seconds and hammers away a bit more. The fans say Lacey can’t wrestle so we’re back off to Velvet. Octopus hold goes on for a few seconds so the announcers can make Inoki jokes. An elbow breaks the hold and it’s cold tag to Board of Directors. After a fallaway slam to Velvet everything breaks down. They triple team Operation Break Dance which fails completely. TKO ends Madison.

Rating: D. Weak match here that had no point at all being on the PPV. This is what Impact is for: six minute matches with hot women doing nothing of note for the entire match. Also, is there a reason to keep the titles on there? Oxford Dictionary of Britain doesn’t get us anywhere as champion. Angelina would be back soon which helped the division a lot. Anyway, weak match.

Wolfe says this all started with a handshake and then drilled him, which proved his point. Tonight the Wolfe will devour every scrap that remains. He knows Angle really well but Angle knows nothing about Wolfe. School is in session tonight and in Wolfe 101, Angle loses. Good night this guy was awesome.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. British Invasion vs. Motor City Machineguns

The Brits (Williams and Magnus) have the titles here. They’re heels and Beer Money are faces….I think. They won a match on Impact to get here. No clue on the Guns but they’re faces also. Storm vs. Magnus to start as Storm jumps him to control early. Roode comes in quickly and it’s off to Shelley. Backbreaker gets two for Roode as we get the usual solid stuff from these teams.

They chop it out but Shelley hits the floor and takes Roode’s leg out. Off to Sabin who comes in with a hilo and they speed things up a bit. Williams makes a blind tag which is rather smart when you think about it. Sabin and Williams have a nice gymnastics routine (thankfully minus the tutus) and it’s off to Shelley. The Guns get to show off which they do rather well to say the least.

Sabin comes back in and the fans chant USA. I would love Beer Money to get all fired up and say they love America more than the Guns and have it fire them up. Why can only faces be patriotic? The Brits take over on Sabin but Beer Money comes in for the save. They shout their representative names in the title of their team, only for the Guns to get a blind tag of their own.

We get a bad oral sex joke with the Brits as this breaks down just for a bit. The Guns take over and everyone beats on Magnus. Williams tries a backslide on Sabin but Shelly gets a superkick to break it up. Sliced Bread (I love that name) can’t connect as Shelly is caught in a nice superkick (why does EVERYONE use that move anymore) German suplex combo. Take that USA fans!

Beer Money takes over on the Brits now as they might as well put up a big sign saying BRITS WILL RETAIN. Maybe I’m jaded but as soon as they get beaten down this much it’s clear they’re going to get the come from behind win. And as I say that, here’s Eric Young, the leader of World Elite of which the Brits are members. Storm chases him off and Kevin Nash of all people comes out to stop Young. Ah apparently he wants the Global (now TV) Title back. Nash takes it….and hits Storm to join World Elite. In the ring a Hart Attack with a jumping back elbow instead of a clothesline and off the top ends this.

Rating: C-. Match wasn’t bad but at the same time it was kind of a mess at times. The Nash turn came off as unnecessary to put it mildly as it really didn’t add anything to the match and felt like the whole point of things rather than the match itself, as the point is supposed to be. Not bad, but a bit too sloppy for my tastes.

We recap Raven returning on Impact and throwing a fireball at Foley to join Dr. Stevie. They’re not on the show tonight or anything. We’re just wasting time here. Foley will be on Impact apparently.

Nash, holding the Global Title, says JB shouldn’t use such foul language. This is between him and Hulk apparently. Oh dear. Apparently the explanation comes Thursday if Hulk says it’s ok.

We recap Tara vs. Kong in a cage. The idea is Tara doesn’t back down from her and is debuting here. Ok then. Tara got in a good line saying she won’t be locked in there with Kong but Kong will be locked in there with her.

Tara vs. Awesome Kong

This is when Tara wore those TINY shorts and a t-shirt to start which she would remove later. The shirt, not the shorts unfortunately. There goes the shirt as I wonder how in the world Playboy turned her down, which they did. Kong takes her straight into the corner to start and they slug it out. I love those holes in the cage that TNA uses for the cameras. Splash misses by Kong and the spinning backfist goes into the cage as well.

Tara goes after the hand, proving that she’s hot as well as smart. She tries to escape but KONG SMASH, catching her in an electric chair. Kong goes up, only to get crotched. I’m not sure if that hurts or not. You pick whether I’m not sure due to a lack of gonads or an excess of fat. KONG GETS A MISSILE DROPKICK FOR TWO!!!! WOW. Kong drapes her up against the cage and rams into her back. I’d make a ramming into Tara from behind joke but that might not be PG enough.

The fans all chant for Tara as I can’t believe she’s 38 here. All Kong at the moment as she tries for a suplex. The key word there being try though as Tara counters into a DDT. Tara hammers away and gets a superkick (see what I mean about it always being used) and a dropkick for two. They both stand on the top rope, facing the cage before falling and crotching themselves on the top.

They kick away at each other with Tara falling to the mat. You can win by the traditional three ways here if I didn’t mention that. Tara tries the Widow’s Peak off the top but settles for a HUGE FREAKING POWERBOMB that only gets two. That totally should have been the finish right there. Instead Tara looks to climb out but comes back, hitting a cross body/Thesz Press to end it.

Rating: C. Pretty good match here and Tara’s awesome legs help it a lot, but I kind of wonder why this is in a cage other than for the ending bump. It’s not terrible but at the same time this was nothing great for the most part. Tara was pretty clearly winning as it was her big debut. Not bad, but nothing particularly great at all. Also this isn’t the traditional Broken theme song so it’s not as good.

Tara says she’s coming after ODB who she would beat soon.

The announcers talk about Hogan a bit and we get a video about it. Oh joy. Nothing you couldn’t guess would be in here.

Rhyno/Team 3D vs. D’Angelo Dinero/Hernandez/Matt Morgan

The Dudleys have the Japanese tag titles as usual. Apparently Pope just added himself to his team. This was when Hernandez and Morgan had been awesome about a month before and then got stuck in a weak tag team which you could argue is a story still going on today. D-Von looks like he isn’t sure if he wants chicken or beef. He and Hernandez start us off. The fans are chanting something and the crowd has kind of died here.

The opening is surprisingly slow as they seem like they’re not sure what they want to do. Shoulder block takes D-Von down and Pope tags himself in, doing something a bit heelish. A shoulder of his own gets two. I’d hope it was of his own at least as it would be odd for him to use someone else’s shoulder. Ray comes in and rips up some of the Dinero Bucks and gets taken down by a double leg takedown.

Ray takes over and it’s Flip Flop and Fly time. Pope comes back as these two have been in there WAY too long. Bubba Bomb puts Pope down and Ray poses a bit. Rhyno comes in for the first time and it’s off to Morgan. This is an interesting match for some reason that I can’t quite place. Rhyno gets a shoulder into the ribs in the corner but walks into a discus lariat.

Everyone comes in and Team 3D hits a reverse 3D on Pope. Pope might have taken the bullet for Hernandez but it’s not entirely clear. D-Von and Pope are legal off that somehow and now it’s off to Rhyno. The heel team keeps up their fast tagging as Ray comes in to throw on a bearhug. That doesn’t last long but Pope can’t make the tag. Would it be a sin to keep the Pope from doing what he wants to do?

Back off to D-Von who gets a headbutt/splash for two. We hit the chinlock as Pope is in a good deal of trouble here. Is there such a thing as a bad deal of trouble? Ah good I don’t have to think about it that long as the hold doesn’t last long. Rhyno comes in and the fans aren’t that keen on him. Dinero is thrown to the floor and Ray drops an elbow while shouting that he’s a bigger pimp than Pope. I’ll leave that one up to you guys.

Naturally Ray misses his backsplash which is probably a good thing. I wouldn’t want Pope pancakes. Hot tag to Morgan who cleans house, including making D-Von run away from a right hand/clothesline. Rapid fire elbows in the corner to Rhyno and a side slam gets two. Off to Hernandez who hits a slingshot double clothesline to everyone not named Bubba and/or Ray and/or Bully.

With everyone on the floor, Hernandez launches a HUGE dive over the top to take down everything in sight. How did they manage to screw this up? Back in the ring a top rope splash gets a LONG two on Rhyno. What’s Up is broken up by Pope and Morgan is back in again. He leaves just as quickly though and might have twisted his knee. I hope it’s a Hogan knee injury like at Mania 6 which is never heard from again about a minute later. Ray crotches Pope on the post, allowing D-Von to pop Hernandez with a chair. The Gore ends Supermex a second later.

Rating: C+. This was a longer match than it probably should have been but it really wasn’t that bad at all. A good term for this would be acceptable. It’s not a bad match at all but it’s nothing that was all that great. It was long enough to let everyone get in there and the big spots weren’t bad. Pretty good little match here and nothing to really complain about. And I had joke material so I’m perfectly fine with it.

Lauren (still gorgeous) is with Scott Steiner and tells him that the match is now No DQ and falls count anywhere. Steiner says it’s on Lashley’s wife, saying Lashley can’t satisfy her so she went after Scott. Lauren’s reactions to this are great.

We recap the feud and it’s more or less what I just explained. This is kind of like Roberts vs. Rude which isn’t a bad feud to draw from and it’s been over 20 years so I think it’s ok. Taz saying Steiner crossed the line made me chuckle. Shouldn’t that be grounds for a raise?

Bobby Lashley vs. Scott Steiner

I was right about the Rude/Roberts thing as Scott has Krystal’s face on his tights ala Ravishing Rick. Hey he has alliteration in his name too. This is rather interesting. The fight starts in the middle of the aisle with Lashley throwing him all over the place. Into the ring now with Lashley in full control. A clothesline and shoulder in the corner has Scott in trouble. Suplex gets two.

Spinebuster gets no cover as Bobby sets for a spear. Steiner gets a boot up but walks into a T-Bone suplex for a long two. Clothesline puts Steiner right back onto the floor. Scott FINALLY breaks the momentum with a pair of shots to the Little Boss. Make that three of them. That set of them gets two as maybe Krystal will like Scott more now. Chair goes across the back of Bobby for two.

Back in and the spinning belly to belly by Steiner gets two. Overhead belly to belly nearly breaks Bobby’s neck as is Scott’s custom. A third suplex gets two. Steiner does what he now calls the Frankensteiner but for some reason Bobby drops down to the bottom rope so it looked a bit awkward. That gets two. Steiner goes up but gets caught. Lashley drops him onto the top rope instead of slamming him down. Nice change of pace there I guess.

To the floor again and Lashley throws him into the table and pounds away. Chair to the back of Steiner and they go into the back where it’s really dark. Like Boiler Room Brawl at Summerslam 96 dark. Also we don’t have a camera there. It does make it look a bit more realistic I guess though. Apparently the camera was off so Scott could blade as he’s busted open now.

Lashley puts him through a table for two. He goes off and gets a 2×4, prompting the entire crowd to shout HO! Well they’re smart at least. Lashley charges into a well placed piece of wood. Taz asks why the wood was there and is promptly ignored. Scott chokes away with a cord and gets two off that. They fight back to what is apparently behind the set. Up to the Spanish Announce Table and Steiner rips the scaffolding apart. A piece of the pipe winds up going around the head of Lashley and we’re done. No idea what the point is of giving Steiner the win here but whatever.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent brawl here with both big monsters hammering away on each other pretty well. The ending doesn’t work for the most part as it says monster MMA fighter loses to implied attempted rapist. Not a classic or anything but it wasn’t supposed to be. Fine for what it was which I’ve been trying to cut back on saying but it fits here.

Angle says Wolfe is trying to make a statement by taking out the biggest dog in the yard. Well now he has him. The whole I don’t know you means nothing here because HE’S KURT ANGLE! Good response by Angle here: short and awesome.

We recap the Angle vs. Wolfe feud which is based on Wolfe debuting and wanting to meet Angle. The Jason Statham lookalike jumped Angle and has left him laying multiple times now. This was an awesomely built feud and thankfully the matches worked also.

Desmond Wolfe vs. Kurt Angle

They fight over a wristlock to start and the easily impressed fans chant this is wrestling. Modified crossface chickenwing by Wolfe and we hit the mat. After some arm work on the left, surprisingly enough Wolfe goes after the right arm. That’s a rare thing to say the least. Angle wakes up and snaps off a suplex. When all else fails, throw someone around. Or kick them in the face which is my preference.

Kurt’s shoulder goes into the post and Wolfe goes in like a shark. I think I got my animal metaphors crossed there. Lots of mat work on the arm follows with Kurt not being able to counter into an ankle lock. Wolfe plays to the crowd, I’d assume due to rarely being in front of this many people, and gets caught in a belly to belly and some clotheslines/forearm from Kurt for two.

The American hits some Germans on the Englishman. Six in this case. Six Germans that is, not six Englishmen or six Americans. Angle Slam is countered into an arm drag and lariat for a close two. Tower of London misses so the Angle Slam gets its required two count. After the move that has won Angle world titles (I think) hits, Wolfe has an arm hold on maybe 15 seconds later. Now THAT is no-selling.

Ankle lock goes on but Wolfe counters into the LeBell Lock minus the crossface. Kurt rolls through into the ankle lock again but a rope is grabbed. The announcers talk about how Wolfe has scouted Angle and knows a counter to everything. I wonder how many tapes he watched to figure out that the counter to the ankle lock is to grab a rope? Angle Slam is countered into a DDT and both guys are down.

Tower of London (falling cutter off the top) gets two. Kurt gets a clothesline to break the momentum but the moonsault, say it with me, misses. A slick arm hold by Wolfe looks for the submission but Kurt backslides into a rope. They fight on the ropes and down goes Wolfe. FROG SPLASH by Kurt gets two. Ankle lock goes on for roughly the 20th time and Wolfe can’t reverse. Off to a cross armbreaker attempt but Wolfe clasps his hands. Instead Angle shifts to a side triangle choke and Wolfe taps immediately.

Rating: B+. Solid stuff here, questionable selling aside. It’s a nice change of pace to see guys get on the mat and work on each other with some psychology in there. Not as classic as it’s going to be made up to be as the ending came out of nowhere and the arm work more or less went nowhere, but still a very good match.

Joe talks about how he hasn’t caused any trouble with AJ and Daniels but rather has just shown reality to everyone. It doesn’t matter that there are two on the same page and one on the other as Joe is the one that has hurt them both before and will win tonight.

We recap the Unbreakable triple threat which I need to get to and the feud that sets up the match here. Daniels allegedly jumped AJ and left him laying. The guy would wind up being revealed as Tomko in the ultimate of a wasted opportunity. Daniels said AJ was arrogant and AJ apologized for thinking it was Daniels that jumped him, but not for being world champion. Joe jumped both of them because he could.

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. We get the always annoying streamers thrown for each guy. Daniels gets the first shot in with a right hand to AJ. Joe needs to stick with the tights rather than the shorts. They don’t work on him at all really. AJ gets the clothesline/forearm in the corner and hammers on Daniels a bit also. Joe takes over with his strikes and actually chops Styles in the back which is a new one.

Joe is sent to the floor and AJ gets that dropkick of his to put Daniels down. Headlock takeover by AJ and he adds a dropkick to keep Joe on the floor in a nice move. Joe back in now and he hammers Daniels down in the corner. With AJ down the submission guy actually does some submission stuff. What a novel concept. A suplex attempt on Joe finally works as AJ probably has a hernia now.

Indian Deathlock with a facelock ala Benoit by AJ to Joe. I love that move. Joe hits the floor and it’s back to AJ vs. Daniels with the Fallen Angel in control. We get our first dual submission as AJ is put in a Boston Crab and Joe in a camel clutch at the same time. Joe, apparently in need of a snack and thinking that the fingers are hot dogs, bites the hand of Daniels to get out of it. Love people staying in character like fat boy Joe here.

Rock Bottom out of the corner kills Daniels and AJ is taken down as well. Joe gets a dropkick to AJ and lands on Daniels, giving Joe complete control. And never mind as AJ takes him down on the floor and it’s back to the two guys that can’t block out the sun. They shift positions and AJ gets a running shooting star press over the top to take out both guys. Cool move that he doesn’t use that often anymore which is what makes it cool.

Joe and AJ slug it out in the ring and here’s Daniels to make it a perfectly matches set. Poetry in Motion takes down Daniels and it’s a springboard rana to Daniels for two. The fans of course chant random things because that’s what they think they exist for. Joe gets all powerbomb happy, getting two on AJ. Various submissions including an amplified Boston Crab, an STF and a crossface don’t work either.

Daniels pops up again and gets a reverse DDT to Joe/Rock Bottom to AJ at the same time. Not bad there. Death Valley Driver gets two on AJ. AJ fights back with a neckbreaker for two as this is needing to get to another gear for the ending. Everyone back in now and they all slug it out. Pele puts Daniels down so we’re all on the mat. AJ sends Daniels to the floor and the springboard forearm gets two.

In a nice bit of psychology, AJ hits the backflip into the reverse DDT on Joe and tries it again on Daniels. Daniels counters his though and gets a Cross Rhodes (Last Rites) to AJ. Muscle Buster to Daniels as AJ saves again. Big spin kick puts Joe down but Daniels breaks up the Styles Clash. Daniels and AJ can’t get each others’ finishers so they take Joe out instead.

AJ and Daniels high five each other and go at it. Joe pops up and chops AJ to the floor and it’s a BME to Joe. AJ pops up again and hits the springboard 450 to the back of Daniels (knees to the back have to hurt REALLY FREAKING BADLY) and steals the pin on Joe to set up AJ vs. Daniels the next month at Final Resolution.

Rating: A-. Taz calls it 15 stars and that’s a bit of a stretch. It’s still a very good match and great is probably a fair term. It’s not the Unbreakable match but with that being the standard they were kind of hamstrung. Still it’s a great match with Joe being a bit less than what he was back in 2005. Good stuff though to say the least.

Overall Rating: B+. Very solid show here and a shining example of what TNA could be that could make people look at it and say “that’s an actual alternative to WWE.” Instead we’re looking at Sting vs. Hogan probably which is something I think only Sting and Hogan fans want to see. Anyway, this was a great show with some very solid wrestling in there throughout. It’s easy to watch too which helps it a lot. By that I mean it flies by, which is the sign of a good show. Check it out if you get the chance.

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 23, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s likely another show building towards Destination X here which means we’ll probably get another triple threat with guys brought in.  That’s a cool idea as it lets you see guys you usually wouldn’t see having some pretty fun matches.  Other than that, probably some more stuff about the Bound For Glory Series, which is still a long way off from the final goal.  Anyway let’s get to it.

We open with clips of last week’s two big moments in the form of the Jarrett/Angle parking lot fight and Sting going all psycho on Hogan.

And here’s Jarrett again who wants to be part of the Bound For Glory Series (which he says hasn’t started yet for some reason).  Eric says no because of the Network and says Jarrett needs to go to Mexico.  Actually this past Saturday he won the AAA World Title so this fits rather well.  Eric says Jeff needs to lead the Immortal takeover of Mexico.  Wonder how long Jeff will be gone.

Here’s Eric in the arena and he wants to talk to Sting.  Here’s the Scorpion enthusiast himself.  Eric wants to know why Sting thought he could get away with what he tried to do to Hogan last week on Eric’s show.  Eric yells at Sting a lot and then Sting goes into an almost Doink voice, saying Eric hurt his feelings and cursed at him.  Sting is playing up the psycho side here, saying he’s going to snap Eric’s neck.  He calls Eric a con artist and says that Bischoff is a virus that has infected Hogan but that’s going to change.

Eric says that’ll never happen because it’ll always be Hogan and Bischoff.  Sting is going to have to change because of Bischoff though.  He may have a rematch on the 14^th but Eric can change that.  Tonight it’s Sting vs. Abyss and on the line is….nothing apparently.  Sting goes back into his Jim Carrey voice here and says that it’s Eric rather than Sting who has a price to pay.  Sting hits him in the corner and more or less struts around the ring.  Death Drop leaves Bischoff laying.  He gets the makeup treatment and the Scorpion as we go to a break with the hold still on.

Apparently there have been some BFG Series matches on house shows, including Gunner pinning AJ clean.  Morgan, AJ, RVD, Gunner and Scott Steiner all have seven points and everyone else has zero.

Bound For Glory Series: Scott Steiner vs. Bully Ray

 

This has the potential to be pretty cool or a trainwreck.  This is your big slugout that you would expect here.  Ray controls to start but misses a splash in the corner.  Steiner takes over with some solid shots and hits the pushups after the elbow.  Ray gets a boot up in the corner to shift the momentum again and three covers off a right hand.  Ray rams in the forearm smashes in a crossface style and loads up the Bubba Bomb.  Steiner escapes the full nelson though to a big face chant.

Steiner comes back with the suplexes and there goes the referee.  Overhead belly to belly puts Ray down and it’s time for the Recliner.  No referee though, even though it’s that horrid submission of his.  At least pull back on the thing Scott.  Ray taps but there’s no referee.  Scott goes to check on him instead of keeping the hold on until he gets back, allowing Ray to find a chain to hit Steiner in the throat with a chain for the pin at 5:55.

Rating: C. Not bad at all for a big man brawl here for the most part.  These two would be infinitely more entertaining in a promo than a match but this wasn’t that bad.  Scott was more or less the face by default here and the match wasn’t that bad at all.  Granted I had low expectations coming in for it but the match wasn’t bad at all.

Bischoff tells Gunner and Abyss to take care of Sting when Anderson comes in.  Anderson gets yelled at for not helping Bischoff and Eric says he won the title for Sting for him.  Anderson says he was having a burger during the attack.  Eric yells at Anderson and says come over to Immortal and Anderson stands there.  Eric says think about it and isn’t happy at all.

Steiner is looking for Ray in the back.

Zema Ion, more commonly known as Shiima Xion of various indy companies, is in an X Division Showcase match tonight.

Miss Tessmacher/Velvet Sky vs. Jackie Moore/ODB

 

Velvet says this was supposed to be no holds barred but they can’t do that because their opponents aren’t under contract or something.  Ok apparently it is no holds barred.  They start in the aisle and it’s a big brawl.  Apparently this is before the bell.  Velvet and ODB get in the ring as we go to a break before a bell rings.

Back and I guess the bell rang during the break.  Jackie is hammering on Tessmacher but Miss manages to break free, only for Velvet to not be there.  ODB hammers on her a bit but Tessmacher gets a spear of all things to break through and get the tag.  Velvet cleans house and everything breaks down.  The referee gets taken down again and Jackie kicks Velvet between the legs for the pin at 3:50 shown.

Rating: D. The Knockouts division is so horrible anymore and the talent just isn’t working most of the time.  Jackie is completely worthless and I’ve yet to see anyone that actually cares about her in the slightest.  ODB isn’t much better and while Velvet and Tessmacher look great, they’re better suited as being there looking hot rather than being in the ring.  Not much here at all in another sloppy mess of a match.

Federico Palacios is also in the X Division match tonight.  He’s more known as Azrieal.

Tara has Madison at the PPV and Madison comes up to yell at her.  Madison gets rammed into the wall and Tara tells her to never touch her again.

Roode still isn’t cleared to wrestle even though he’s in the BFG Series.

Steiner storms into the Immortal locker room and swings a chain around.  He’s freaking again.  Ray says Steiner would have done the same thing.  Ray offers Steiner a spot in Immortal.  Steiner throws the chain again and says he’ll think about it.

Bound For Glory Series: Crimson/Matt Morgan vs. Beer Money

 

Roode vs. Crimson start us off and I guess Roode’s arm is fine now.  He hits the Hennig neck snap but Crimson runs him down with ease.  Roode is holding his arm now and Storm tags himself in.  Off to Morgan who can’t hit the elbows in the corner.  Codebreaker and a neckbreaker combine for two for Storm.  Discus lariat gets two for Morgan, setting up the elbows in the corner and the tag off to Crimson.

Next week it’s AJ vs. Gunner.  Crimson beats on Storm for awhile until Storm hits a Backstabber to bring in Roode.  Morgan is in also and the shoulder looks better.  Carbon Footprint misses in the corner and Roode goes after the leg.  Forearm puts Morgan down but he jumps into a chokeslam attempt.  Roode goes for a Fujiwara Armbar out of a counter but it’s broken up by Crimson.

Double suplex puts the red guy down and there’s the shout.  For once though they get caught, in this instance by a double clothesline from Morgan.  Roode gets a Blockbuster but his arm is hurt again.  Storm gets tossed to the floor by Roode onto Crimson but walks into the Carbon Footprint for the pin at 6:15.  I think only Morgan gets the points but it’s not really clear.

Rating: B-. Pretty good tag match here with the champs being messed up because of Roode’s arm injury.  I’m curious as to where they’re going with the arm injury and if they’re going to drop the titles because of it.  I liked this though and I wish they’d get Beer Money out there more, but only once Roode is healthy.

Yeah only Morgan gets points.

Abyss says he follows Sun-Tzu and Bischoff.  Tonight Bischoff told him to take out Sting so that’s what he’ll do.

Eric Young is looking for another TV Star, apparently Popeye.

Here’s AJ to talk about Destination X.  He has an idea for a match at the X-Division PPV.  AJ says he’ll be at that show because the X-Division is his roots.  He lists off some of the great X guys over the years….and here’s Joe.  He says that AJ was the pioneer but it didn’t get taken seriously until Joe got here.  AJ is the heart of the division but Joe gave the division its balls.  Since there needs to be the third guy to make this complete, here’s Daniels to the Fourtune music.  Daniels suggests AJ vs. himself and it’s accepted.  No Joe?  Apparently not.

Kaz isn’t thrilled with what Daniels just did.  Daniels leaves and Joe pops up, making fun of Fourtune.  Kaz says stay out of it and gets beaten up.  Joe drilling him and walking away is great.

Dakota Darsow, the last guy in the X match, is the son of Barry Darsow, more commonly known as Smash or Repo Man.

Federico Palacios vs. Dakota Darsow vs. Zema Ion

Darsow is sent to the floor quickly as we actually get a graphic saying who is in what color.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen that in a wrestling match.  Ion gets a DDT on Palacios for two.  More fast paced stuff here but less high flying than last week.  Just as I say that Ion hits a missile dropkick to Darsow to send him to the floor.  Palacios is very fast.  Darsow pops back in and takes both guys down to take over again.

Palacios hits a huge suicide dive onto Darsow and Zema mosly misses a corkscrew plancha, mostly landing on the head of Palacios with his feet.  That looked sick.  Back in the ring Darsow hits a moonsault but Palacios hits a double stomp to the back of Darsow to break it up.  Superplex is broken up and Darsow kicks Ion on the top.  Zema knocks him off the top and a 450 ends this at 4:42.

Rating: C+. Not as good as last week as some of the botches hurt it, but still a pretty good match.  The 450 was pretty awesome to end it, but I’d like to know some more about these guys rather than just saying they’re awesome and X-Division guys.  Not bad and more or less what the X-Division is supposed to be: insane stuff with flips and dives to fire up the crowd.

RVD says he wants to be at the X-Division PPV and Jerry Lynn comes in.  Lynn says they were both X-Division before there was one and then leaves.

Winter vs. Mickie James

 

This is a street fight and it already was going on in the back when we came back from a break.  Winter is dominating and whips Mickie with a leather belt.  They head out to the stage where Mickie gets the belt away from her.  Thesz Press off part of the set takes over for Micke and they roll down the ramp.  Mickie hits a rana on the floor and Winter is in trouble.  Into the ring and Mickie hits a missile dropkick, but here’s Angelina to hit her backbreaker.  It’s behind the referee’s back but it’s a street fight so it’s not like it would have mattered anyway.  That gets the pin at 4:40 shown.  Angelina is smiling post match.

Rating: C-. Just another brawl with the Knockouts that is probably going to set up a title match later.  That’s fine and good, but what was the point in this being a street fight?  Shouldn’t the regular match set up the gimmick match?  Anyway, nothing of note here and two street fights with Knockouts in a night is too much for my taste.  Better than the first one by about a mile though.

Abyss vs. Sting

 

Non-title of course here.  This actually gets big match intros but Sting jumps Abyss before his intro.  Sting manages to run Abyss over with a shoulder block which is a rare sight.  They head to the floor off a Sting clothesline and Abyss takes over.  He throws on an armbar which is kind of a weird choice but it doesn’t last long enough to think about it.

Sting gets a running start but runs into the chokeslam for two.  Abyss picks up the Art of War book and hits Sting with it for a not DQ.  And there’s a barbed wire glove.  Sting avoids it for a bit and hits the Splash in the corner.  Death Drop hits for two.  Sting gets the glove and pops Abyss in the head with it to draw blood for the DQ at 5:30.

Rating: C. Fine for a quick main event here that tied into the opening of the show and played into Sting’s crazy stuff.  Not a horrible match or anything but just kind of there.  The ending is fine as Sting going insane is better than an actual ending in a match that Sting doesn’t really need to win.  This was fine.

Post match Sting hits Abyss like 5 times as Anderson comes out for a staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Wow I must be running a fever.  First and foremost here: the pacing was the best it’s been here in forever.  There were no 20-30 minute stretches with nothing but talking.  It helps a lot to have a match to break the boredom, even if it’s just something quick and relatively pointless.  That’s one of Impact’s biggest issues and it’s very refreshing to see it not happen for once.  Destination X was built up pretty well and the show wasn’t boring for the most part.  I liked this quite well and dare I say it, best wrestling show so far this week.

Results

Bully Ray b. Scott Steiner – Ray pinned Steiner after a chain shot to the throat

Jackie/ODB b. Velvet Sky/Miss Tessmacher – Jackie pinned Sky after a low blow

Crimson/Matt Morgan b. Beer Money – Carbon Footprint to Roode

Zema Ion b. Dakota Darsow and Federico Palacios – 450 Splash to Darsow

Winter b. Mickie James – Pin after a backbreaker from Angelina Love

Abyss b. Sting via DQ when Sting hit Abyss with a barbed wire glove

Impact
Date:  May 12, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: The Network’s Revenge

Tonight is a big night for TNA as we find out the identities of both Kurt Angle’s mistress and the network executive.  It should be remembered that last week Sting said a network representative would be here and not necessarily the network representative, so there’s no guarantee this ends tonight.  Oh and Sacrifice is Sunday.  I’m sure we’ll fit that in somewhere if we have time.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a shot of Hogan with his pipe, waiting for the Network representative.  Bischoff comes up and says that he needs to think this through, not beat it out of them.  They should play the game but play to win.

We get a video on the Jarretts and Angle’s mistress.  That transitions into Hogan and Bischoff going through a few possible identities of the representative.

Here are the Jarretts to open the show.  They want a truce with Kurt and say that Karen could never hurt a fly.  It’s a crime to have anyone hurt Karen apparently.  Karen says she’s a good person and has been a good ex-wife.  Everything has been for Kurt, including the restraining order against him.

Here’s Kurt who says it’s done.  After ten years of marriage you would think she’d learn to not push him.  Karen is going to wind up taking Jeff for everything he’s worth before Jeff figures that out.  There’s going to be a mixed tag at Sacrifice between the Jarretts and Angle/the mistress.  Jeff knows who the chick is apparently, despite Angle saying two weeks ago that no one knew who she is.

Miss Tessmacher/Mickie James vs. Tara/Madison Rayne

 

All four girls looking especially hot tonight.  Tara and Mickie start us off with Tara acting respectful towards Mickie, namely due to the possibility of getting out of her contract with Madison.  Speaking of Madison she comes in being all evil to Mickie with a kick to the head.  Tessmacher comes in and quickly gets a victory roll to Madison for the clean pin at 2:11.  Can we just look at the girls for about two more hours?

Flair goes into Hogan’s office and Hogan rants at Flair, saying he’s the Network rep.  Flair says he was out with a shoulder injury and Hogan apologizes.

A black limo is here.

Tara wants to be free from Madison.  Madison comes up and hears the end of the rant and doesn’t like it.

Tommy Dreamer doesn’t want to talk but says it’s a personal thing.  The interviewer won’t shut up and AJ pops up, also demanding answers.  Tommy says AJ is too young to understand.  AJ says he’s a grown man with three kids and thinks it’s about EV 2.0.  Dreamer still won’t answer so AJ challenges him for Sacrifice.  Dreamer backs off and AJ calls him out on it.  Tommy says maybe no one ever knew him.  He asks what would Tommy Dreamer do, and Dreamer leaves.

Sting is doing a photo shoot with the title and says his hands are full with RVD.  The network person is here apparently.

Here’s Beer Money to find out who Matt’s mystery partner is, implying that it’s Jeff Hardy.  Matt comes out quickly and talks to Roode about calling out Hogan last week.  He gets on Roode for being a worthless drunk as I begin to chuckle.  Matt runs down Canadians like Roode and says he and his partner will win at Sacrifice.

Beer Money comes out to face Matt and James takes a long drink.  He says he’s the man that would walk into a bar, punch you in the face and leave with his girl.  The partner isn’t Jeff, but rather Storm’s old partner: Chris Harris.  WWE fans might remember him as Braden Walker, the guy that was on WWECW for about three weeks.  Harris stares Beer Money down as we go to a break.

Sangriento vs. Suicide

 

Rematch from last week.  Suicide jumps him to start but gets taken down with relative ease.  Corkscrew plancha to the floor by Sangriento and a dropkick back in the ring take Suicide down.  Suicide fights back as the announcers talk about the identity of the mistress.  Sangriento gets the same double spin kick that Amazing Red uses in the clip from the New York house show to Jay Lethal.

I guess he’s been watching his film (and yes I know who Sangriento is for those that don’t get tongue in cheek humor).  Tornado DDT by Sangriento gets two.  Suicide takes over again for a bit but the springboard cutter from last week returns, giving Sangriento the pin at 3:50.

Rating: C. Not bad here but too short to really get going.  Not sure what the point is to having more or less the exact same match from last week but it certainly wasn’t that bad.  It’s good to see Red getting something to do at least and a quick match like this helps fill in some time so no real complaints here.

Immortal’s leaders in the form of Hogan, Bischoff and Flair come out just after the match ends.  Flair kicks Suicide in the balls and sends him to the floor.  Hogan rants about the Network representative, saying he or she needs to get out here.  The reveal is after the break.

Back and the Jarretts are in the ring also with Jeff in wrestling gear.  And the representative is Mick Foley.  He talks very quickly, saying that Hogan’s plans started to unravel March 3^rd.  Foley piefaces Bischoff and says to Hogan to go ahead and drill him if you want to.  This show is no longer about Hogan but about wrestling.  This is no longer TNA Wrestling, but is rather Impact Wrestling.  The main event is now a 25 man battle royal for the #1 contender spot.

Foley is talking faster than I’ve ever heard him talk here.  Foley brings out Angle’s mistress/partner and it’s Chyna.  Yes, that Chyna.

We recap the segment we just saw and apparently the show is now called Impact Wrestling.  Not sure if the whole name for the company is changing or not.

Foley says wrestling matters here and is very energetic.  Chyna is next to him and he tells her about the main event and wants Chyna to be where Karen is.  Not a word from her yet.  Foley mentions the vague sexual tension between them for a nice throwback line.

Anderson is ticked off about Foley denying him his title shot but he’ll get it tonight.  I assume the winner gets the shot at the PPV after Sacrifice.

Crimson vs. Abyss vs. Samoa Joe

 

Crimson and Abyss hammer on each other as Joe chills for a bit.  And never mind as Joe hammers on both of them to take over.  Big boot and backsplash to Abyss but Crimson takes Joe down and gets a neckbreaker to Abyss.  Crimson and Joe hammer away on each other and Crimson grabs a cravate and fires in some knees.  Joe gets a powerslam but walks into the Black Hole Slam.  Crimson spears Abyss and steals the pin on Joe at 2:34.  No rating due to the length but this was fine.

Joe gets ready to jump Crimson but Abyss jumps Crimson before Joe does anything.  Joe says cool and leaves Abyss to beat on Crimson.  As Joe leaves he says you live by the sword and die by the sword.  Black Hole Slam to Crimson and Abyss’ bottom teeth are still missing from the kick by RVD.

RVD says he’ll be watching the battle royal for future information.

Battle Royal

 

25 people in this and more or less everyone you can think of of note in TNA is here.  Most of them are in the ring already so I’ll try to list them.  Everyone in Fourtune, Matt Hardy, Gunner, Jeff Jarrett, Bully Ray, Matt Morgan, British Invasion, Ink Inc, D-Von, Dreamer, Mexican America, Orlando Jordan, Anderson, Steiner, Angle, Eric Young, Robbie E, and I can’t figure out the 25^th.

Both British guys (Williams and Magnus) are out almost immediately due to Morgan.  Add Jordan to that list as well as Anarquia.  All four by Morgan’s hands.  Tenay says the show is now Impact Wrestling on Spike TV.  No word on if the company is still called TNA or not but I’d assume it is.  Young is on the floor but I don’t think he’s been eliminated.  Ah the 25^th is Pope.  That makes me feel better.

No eliminates for awhile now but a lot of the bigger names have come close.  Kaz slides back in as Morgan chokes on Shannon Moore.  There isn’t a ton to say in matches like these in the early going as it’s really just a lot of standing around.  There goes Neal and Shannon back to back thanks to Hernandez.  Morgan throws out his fifth guy in the form of Robbie E.

Eric keeps throwing him self over the top and bringing himself back in.  Then he throws out the TV Champion and eliminates himself.  Eric steals the TV Title and Gunner chases him out so I guess that’s Gunner’s first feud.  We take a break with that.  Back and no one seems to be gone that I can tell.  There appears to be about 15-17 people left.  Storm and Angle both save themselves.

Jarrett eliminates Kaz who might have hurt his knee.  Storm and Matt put each other out so Storm hammers on Matt a bit.  When the referees try to break the argument up Matt pulls Roode out.  Foley jumps in on commentary.  There goes Daniels and Pope is on the floor but not out, as is D-Von.  Morgan sends Hernandez out but Steiner puts out Morgan.  Ray surprises Steiner and we’re down to 8 it appears.

The final 8 are Ray, Anderson, Dreamer, Styles, Jarrett, Angle, D-Von and Pope.  Morgan and Steiner fight up the ramp while Ray pounds on Kurt’s knee.  Ray kicks D-Von in the head for old time’s sake and appears to dance a bit before kicking AJ in the head.  Dreamer is told by Ray to put AJ out.  Ray throw Angle but Kurt hangs on.  Pope fires elbows to D-Von’s head as apparently AJ vs. Dreamer is on for Sunday.

Pope goes to the apron and D-Von charges him, naturally getting caught and eliminated.  Kurt takes Pope out with a clothesline and we’re down to six as we take a break.  Back and only Ray is standing, just as everything was before the break.  Literally everyone is in the same place.  The final six are Jarrett, AJ, Ray, Angle, Anderson and Dreamer.  AJ goes off on Jarrett and Ray but Dreamer takes him down.  Ankle lock to Angle and Dreamer breaks that up also.  Dreamer manages to put AJ out of all things.  Ray puts Dreamer out for his troubles.  AJ drills Dreamer on the floor.

Anderson gets Ray to the apron but can’t get rid of him.  Angle can’t get Jarrett out and Ray makes the save.  Neckbreaker by Anderson takes Ray down and the two of them go to the floor through the ropes.  Angle vs. Jarrett alone with Angle taking over.  Karen saves Jeff from elimination but Kurt takes his head off with a clothesline.  Kurt goes after her and Jeff tosses him.

She gets in the ring as Jeff thinks he’s won but Anderson and Ray are still in it due to going through the ropes.  Chyna comes in and tosses Jeff.  Ray and Anderson both come back in and slug it out with Ray winning said battle.  Big clothesline takes Anderson down but Anderson fights back.  He can’t hit a Swanton as it eats knees.  They go to the apron but Anderson hangs on.  Ray goes for him, only to get slowly pulled out for the Anderson win at 28:10 total.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but battle royals are rather hard to grade.  Anderson winning was pretty obvious given the overcoming the odds deal but that’s fine.  This wasn’t too bad with a long build but the last six guys being in there were a big weak, especially guys like Dreamer and D-Von.  At least we have the next PPV main event set though.

Anderson talks post match, comparing himself to the Navy SEALS that took out bin Laden.  Bit of a stretch there but ok.

Sting says bring on Anderson.  RVD pops up and says not so fast as he’ll be facing Anderson.  Anderson pops up and says it can be either of them at Slammiversary.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was heavy on storyline tonight which is ok, especially when this was the culmination of some big stories.  Sacrifice actually feels like the end of a lot of things rather than just another stop, which is what TNA has been lacking lately.  Not a great show but pretty high on excitement.  The problem is that with so much time going to the main event we didn’t get to a lot of midcard stuff, but I guess that’s ok.  Pretty fun show overall and Sunday is looking good, which is a good sign.

Results

Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher b. Tara/Madison Rayne – Tessmacher pinned Rayne with a victory roll

Sangriento b. Suicide – Jumping Reverse Cutter

Crimson b. Samoa Joe and Abyss – Crimson pinned Joe after a Black Hole Slam

Mr. Anderson won a battle royal, last eliminating Bully Ray

Lockdown 2011
Date: April 17, 2011
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We’ve finally arrived here at the second biggest show of the year for TNA.  The main event is the world title triple threat with Sting vs. Anderson vs. RVD in something eerily similar to what happened on 10-10-10.  As you probably know, the catch here is that every match is in a cage.  I had a chance to go to this but after the mess that was Victory Road I passed.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the main three matches: the title match, Lethal Lockdown and Kurt vs. Jeff.  I really hope the last of those three ends tonight.  There’s a theme of blood in the video which I think we’ll see a lot of tonight.

Chris Sabin vs. Robbie E vs. Jeremy Buck vs. Max Buck vs. Amazing Red vs. Jay Lethal vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Suicide

 

Winner is #1 contender.  Pin/submission until we get down to two and then it’s escape.  This is the Xscape match.  Get it?  The guys have to tag in and out here which is actually a big upgrade in this.  I’m not going to try to keep track of who is in there and what is going on, at least not at the beginning.  Jeremy vs. Lethal at the moment with Lethal in control.  Lethal Combination puts Jeremy down but it’s off to Max and Suicide.

GOOD NIGHT Cookie is loud.  Robbie comes in and goes after the arm of Suicide….getting the pin with it.  Well that was unexpected.  The fans boo loudly at that and it’s Jersey vs. Jersey.  Robbie tags out to Sabin and both guys get beaten down.  Shelley is back soon apparently.  Sabin and Lethal have a nice crisp sequence and Red makes a blind tag.  Missile dropkick to Sabin but Red can’t kick Lethal.  Handspring elbow is blocked and Red grabs a sunset bomb out of nowhere to get us down to six.

If you’re confused, Lethal and Suicide are out and the Bucks, Sabin, Red, Robbie and Kendrick are left.  Red is tossed into the air and lands on the top.  The flippies can’t save him though as Cradle Shock (love that move) and a big running clothesline get us down to five.  Max comes in and if it sounds like this is in fast forward it’s more or less because it is.  Kendrick is sitting down bobbing his head back and forth as usual.

Max rolls up Sabin to put him out and it’s off to Kendrick.  He has a robe on and Robbie runs him over.  Both guys go out after Kendrick hits a big old cross body and it’s time for Buck vs. Buck.  Jeremy GOES OFF on Max, ramming him into the cage multiple times and getting a Trouble in Paradise kick.  Multiple right hands follow and Max grabs a CHEAP rollup to put Jeremy out.  I’ve never heard a crowd so quiet for a pin in my life.

Final three are Max Buck, Kendrick and Robbie.  The two heels lawn dart Kendrick into the cage which wakes him up somehow.  He massacres both guys with a ton of kicks and various other offense.  A big kick puts Robbie out and we’re down to Max vs. Kendrick, escape to win.  Kendrick tries to climb out but gets caught, allowing Max to take over for a bit.  Max rams Kendrick in a bunch of times which doesn’t seem to hurt him.  They fight on the top rope with Kendrick shoving him off and going up.  Max shoves the referee into Kendrick to knock him down and climbs out in record time to end it.  Totally wrong winner.

Rating: C. Match went too long here and the crowd is thoroughly killed because of it.  Not a bad match but the problem again is that this takes too long to get through seven different eliminations.  It could have been worse but at the same time they didn’t have a huge spotfest which is what a match like this is supposed to be.  Not bad, but not what it should have been.

The announcers run down the card but gets cut off by Bischoff who is in a t-shirt and jeans which is a rare look for him.  His arms are bulging out of the shirt.  Tenay and Taz bicker like an old married couple over the first bit of Eric’s talking.  He says he’s going to tell us why he’s here in a few minutes.  People come up to him and ask him what matters most about this business and he’s going to tell us.  Great heat on Bischoff here.

Tonight is special because Immortal is going to take care of Fourtune.  The fans chant WE WANT WRESTLING and I agree.  Bischoff sucks up to Hogan (big pop for his name) who is going to get the world title back in his grasp.  Bischoff gets to play a small role in that and that is all that matters to him.  Total waste of about 7 minutes which I’m sure if foreshadowing to something.

Steiner and Crimson are getting ready and Crimson says he’s glad Scott is watching his back.  Steiner rambles incoherently of course.

Ink Inc vs. Scott Steiner/Crimson vs. Orlando Jordan/Eric Young vs. British Invasion

 

Jordan’s outfit of the night is a Tarzan leopard print kind of deal.  I think this is one fall to a finish.  Young vs. Neal to start us off with Young immediately trying to escape which isn’t an option for winning.  Neal with some arm drags followed by Young with an arm drag leading to a standoff.  Moore comes in and takes over with basic heel stuff.

Williams and Jordan get tags at the same time and it’s off to Magnus very quickly.  Jordan does various dirty things to Magnus while beating both Brits up.  Off to Neal again as this is moving too fast, namely due to having too many people in the match again.  The Brits beat down Neal for a bit and a double back elbow gets two.  Double neckbreaker gets no count as Moore makes the save.

The crowd wants Steiner so we keep going with Neal vs. Magnus because the crowd wasn’t quite dead enough.  Neal breaks free and tags Crimson when he was wide open to tag either.  After Crimson beats on Williams for a bit we FINALLY get Steiner and a roar.  Steiner cleans house with his traditional stuff, including belly to bellies all around.  He goes for the pin on Williams but Moore distracts him.

Young tries to jump Steiner and Crimson is fine with his partner fighting off four or five guys.  Shannon makes a blind tag to bring himself in.  He dances around Scott and then chokes away in the corner.  Young takes his pants off to reveal some tiny tiger print tights.  And so much for that as a jumping back elbow takes him down.

Everything breaks down as Moore hits a moonsault press to Williams, Young hits the Gender Bender to Young, Crimson hits Red Alert to Jordan, Magnus hits….something like a Michinoku Driver to Jordan, Steiner hits a t-bone on Magnus, Young hits a missile dropkick to Steiner….and then tries to escape again.  Rolling Chaos to Moore is blocked and the Mooregasm ends Williams and gives Ink Inc the win.  I give up.

Rating: D. Dudes, I beg of you: GIVE THE FANS SOMETHING TO CHEER FOR!  Steiner was over beyond belief and was in the match for all of a minute.  The opening 45 minutes of this show should be a lesson in how to kill a crowd.  Nothing has been interesting and the best match has been ok at best.  Well done TNA: you’ve proven me right so far.

Madison tells Tara to stay in the back for the match tonight.

We recap Madison vs. Mickie.  Basically Madison has been champion forever and beat Mickie earlier in the year.  This is title vs. hair.  Madison and Tara ran Mickie down with a motorcycle so Mickie’s shoulder is hurt.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

 

Mickie’s shoulder is taped and Madison can’t get her tiara off.  At least the girls both look great.  Mickie jumps Madison as the bell rings and sends her into the cage three times within the first twenty seconds.  Jumping DDT and we’re done in 30 seconds.

Matt Morgan says he’s going to get back on track tonight and Carbon Footprint Hernandez back to Mexico.  Please let this be the ending to this stupid feud.

We recap Joe vs. Pope with the whole Okato stuff which was idiotic beyond belief.  In short, Pope was caught doing naughty things with his donations as Joe had a Japanese friend of his named Okada (later Okato) film him.  Pope beat up Okato and this is their 3^rd or 4^th match.

D’Angelo Dinero vs. Samoa Joe

 

Joe is in red and blue which is an odd look on him.  The Joe’s Gonna Kill You chant is always cool to hear.  Pope hits a powerslam which is no sold as Joe drills Pope with ease.  Tenay says that it’s all about the strikes with the Samoan SUBMISSION Machine.  Pope gets what looked like a low blow to finally slow down the rampaging Joe.  Joe gets a chop in and Pope tries to run.  The key word there is try as they wind up on top of the cage and a headbutt sends Pope’s balls into the top rope.

That hole in the cage they use for the camera is always awesome.  As Joe hits some face washes the camera goes wide again for no apparent reason.  Joe comes with a running kick but Pope pulls the referee in the way to avoid it.  Pope fights up and lands some crossface shots to take over.  We hit the chinlock with Joe in some trouble.  Joe fights up and tries a sleeper, only to get caught in an STO for two.

ENOUGH WITH THE WIDE SHOT ALREADY!  Snap powerslam by Joe and both guys are down so we go wide again.  This is getting annoying.  They slug it out with Joe winning by slapping harder.  Big Boot by the big fat tub of goo sets up a backsplash for two.  Leg lariat off the top gets two.  Muscle Buster hits but Pope gets his foot on the ropes.

Pope goes up and gets his tights pulled down in the process.  He finally pulls them up and knocks Joe to the mat.  Top rope elbow gets one and a Codebreaker gets two.  DDE is caught because it’s an awful finisher and Joe sends him into the cage.  Muscle Buster sets up the Clutch and it’s over.  Well that was abrupt.

Rating: C+. Best match of the night so far and it was just ok at best.  Now please, LET THIS BE OVER.  The feud has been a waste of the last four months for both guys and the matches haven’t been anything special.  This wasn’t anything great overall but it wasn’t too bad.  The right guy won at least so it has that going for it.

Christy tries to talk to Mexican America and they do the usual thing of talking half in English and half in Spanish.  Just get this over with.

We recap the Morgan vs. Hernandez feud.  In short, Morgan is awesome and Hernandez is being a jerk and they used to be partners.  That’s about all there is to it.

Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

 

Battle of the giants here even though one of the giants is 6’2.  I’m not sure how well that plays but they both look big so it works out fine.  Anarquia reaches through the cage to pull Morgan’s leg and give Hernandez the advantage.  Hernandez hammers away and we hit the nerve hold.  Dude get your racial stereotypes straight.  That’s a Samoan move.

Basically they’re having a regular match in a cage which is part of the problem with this show every year.  Running shoulder in the corner by Hernandez and he poses a lot again.  Either Morgan is legit hurt or Hernandez is really stupid as he’s walked around for about 30 seconds now.  Morgan pops up with a discus lariat to put both guys down for a bit.

Here’s Morgan’s comeback which is just ok.  Backdrop suplex gets two.  Hernandez ends that with something like a headbutt to the ribs for two.  Morgan avoids a charge to send Hernandez into the cage.  The girls climb up on the cage as does Anarquia.  Down goes the dude and Hernandez tries to come off the top.  Morgan catches him with a really bad looking Carbon Footpring to end this.

Rating: D. Boring match here again as nothing worked in it again.  Morgan never got anything going for the most part and the ending was weak looking.  Again though the right guy won and hopefully that ends the feud.  Boring match again as one more time I’m glad I didn’t go to this show.

The girls complain about TNA and America cheating them again.  They say they should be Knockout Champion and that they’re better than everyone.  After they complain a lot here’s Velvet to beat them both up.  She throws them out and that’s about it.

Karen says Jeff Jarrett is awesome and she has nothing to be worried about.

We recap Kurt vs. Jarrett.  Basically it’s because of Karen who blames Kurt for all kinds of problems and legitimately married Kurt’s boss.  This feud has gone on FOREVER (some of you may be noticing a pattern here) and hopefully it ends here.  This is one of those instances where they’re trying to make real life into an angle and while it’s interesting, that doesn’t mean it should be done.  There was a wedding ceremony that Kurt busted up with an ax which was awesome.

Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett

 

First fall is submission only, second is pin only, third is escape the cage.  Should be awesome.  Karen is ejected before the match starts which is a nice plus.  Angle gets a headlock to start us off which is broken up quickly.  There are only three matches left and we have almost 90 minutes left so this is going to get a lot of time.  Snap suplex puts Jeff down as Kurt hammers away.

Leg sweep takes Kurt down and it’s a Figure Four less than two minutes in.  Not a very good one but a figure four nonetheless.  The referee, ever the genius, counts Kurt’s shoulders in a submission match.  Kurt turns it over and hooks a t-bone suplex into the ankle lock.  That doesn’t last long as Jarrett grabs a sleeper.  Jeff sends Kurt into the corner shoulder first and adds an enziguri to the shoulder (which doesn’t work as enziguri means head kick but you get the idea).  Cross armbreaker goes on and Kurt is able to roll out of it and lock on the ankle lock with the grapevine to get the early submission.

Jeff sends him into the cage and hits the Stroke for two.  I thought that would have been a fall actually.  Jeff has a top rope cross body rolled through for two.  Double clothesline puts both guys down.  They slug it out and it’s boo/yay time.  Belly to belly by Kurt gets two.  Rolling Germans hear my cry!  The third is blocked by a low blow though which Jeff distracts the referee for.  If it’s pin only, why would he have to distract the referee?

Another Stroke is countered into a shot into the cage and an Angle Slam for of course just two.  Jeff goes up and is caught in a belly to belly off the top for a long two.  The crowd is FINALLY getting into this.  They’ve been dead the entire time here which is a shame as this has been a fairly good match so far.  Kurt wakes up and busts out a Diamond Cutter of all things.  That has to be a shot at Randy Orton.  And Jeff rolls Kurt up with tights to tie it up.  No bell or anything and the announcement is delayed, so no one really got that it was a fall.

Third is escape only and Jeff tries to unlock the door.  There’s a key in there if you’re wondering.  Jeff sends Kurt into the cage multiple times and goes for the key again.  Ok the door is unlocked now.  Slowest Rolling Germans ever has Jeff reeling though.  There were five in that set and thankfully the crowd responds to it a bit.  Just like last year, Kurt is ready to go and Jeff couldn’t stop him but he comes back in.  He gets to the bottom step twice and come back in.

Kurt locks the door and puts the key down his singlet.  Jeff is panicking so Kurt beats on him a bit more.  Jeff is the first person to bleed tonight and it’s flowing down his face.  They head to the top rope and Kurt hammers him down.  Angle climbs up but Jeff catches him with a powerbomb off the top of the cage which is botched and Kurt lands on the top of his head, probably killing him.  And of course he pops up to catch Jarrett leaving and hits an Angle Slam off the top.  Kurt tries to leave but lost the key somewhere.  Not a good sign when there’s so much room in your tights that you can’t find a big metal object buddy.

Gunner comes out with a chair to keep Kurt from leaving so Kurt pulls a Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga spot and throws out the moonsault to Jeff.  I think his head hit Jarrett so it’s better than nothing.  Steiner runs out to chase off Gunner as both guys are down.  Kurt finds the key and unlocks the door but Karen bounces down and sprays something in Kurt’s eyes.

The blind Angle drills the referee and Karen hides by the door.  Jeff tries to escape but gets caught in the ankle lock.  Karen slips him a guitar from somewhere and pops Kurt with it.  Kurt gets up AGAIN and puts the ankle lock on Jeff one more time but Karen slams the door on Angle’s head to let Jeff fall out to end this finally.  You have got to be kidding me.  Are they trying to have a mass murder in Cincinnati tonight?

Rating: B. Le sigh.  Blast it all as they managed to screw up ANOTHER finish.  The match wasn’t great but it was definitely the best of the night.  The crowd hurt this a lot and the ending wasn’t all that great.  It’s Angle vs. Jarrett.  HOW CAN YOU OVERBOOK KURT ANGLE VS. JEFF JARRETT????????  Not a great match as some people will say but good.  The problem is the first two falls were weak and it hurt this a lot.

We recap the world title match.  Basically Sting came back to win the title and screw over Hogan in the process.  RVD was stripped of the title last year due to being injured by Abyss.  Anderson is ticked off by not getting a one on one title rematch.  There’s a possibility that someone is joining Immortal also but it’s really not clear.  Hogan has declared war apparently.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson

 

Anderson gets in both guys’ faces and is drilled for his efforts.  Stinger Splash in the corner sets up the Scorpion a minute in but RVD breaks it up.  Van Dam fights Sting for a bit until Anderson pulls the rope down to send Rob into the cage.  Sting fights both of them and puts the Scorpion on both guys at the same time.  It’s as out there as it seems.  They both get the ropes as I’m not entirely sure how effective that move would have had but it was a nice idea at least.

Van Dam and Sting collide and everyone is down.  Neckbreaker to Van Dam gets two.  Double Mic Check has everyone down.  It gets two on both guys twice each.  Only in wrestling is 2+2+2+2 not good enough to get to 3.  Van Dam kicks Anderson down and the Five Star gets two.  So we’ve now established that 8 and 5 aren’t worth three.

Double clothesline puts everyone down……and here’s Hogan.  Hogan hands RVD the pipe and RVD takes it.  He isn’t sure what to do with it so he throws it at Hogan.  Anderson picks it up and pops RVD with it, shouting at Hogan that it was for him and not for Hogan.  Sting sneaks up on him and gets the Death Drop on Anderson to retain.  Yep that’s really it.

Rating: C. This was SHORT.  It wasn’t any good either but that’s beside the point.  There were more references to Brooke Hogan than anything else for the most part here.  Not a terrible match but dude, I was expecting something epic here and again it was rather short.  Not much of a match at all as it was mainly finishers and laying down.  Granted I’m not a fan of three ways for the most part but this felt like something that belonged on Impact and not a major PPV.

Hogan says he and Sting will go at it on his time.  Why do I have a feeling that’s Bound For Glory?

Immortal vs. Foutune

 

Lethal Lockdown here.  It’s Wargames for you old school fans.  Fourtune is Roode, Storm, Kaz and Daniels.  Immortal is Bully Ray, Matt Hardy, Abyss and Ric Flair.  Yes, Flair is main eventing this show.  Both teams send in a man for five minutes.  After five minutes Immortal sends in their second man for a two minute advantage (they won a best of three series on Impact to earn that).

After two minutes we add in another member of Fourtune to even the odds.  Two minutes after that we add in another member of Immortal to give them a 3-2 advantage.  You alternate every two minutes until it’s 4-4 and then a roof covered in weapons comes down.  Then it’s first fall wins.

We start off with Kaz and Abyss with the monster taking over early via a chokeslam.  Ray keeps shouting mess up his pretty face.  Matt says mangle him.  All Abyss so far until Kaz reverses a shot into the cage and fires off a right hand.  Top rope rana hits as we somehow have done four minutes so far.  Kaz (that has to be close enough for a copyright suit from Taz) hammers down Abyss and it’s Matt in next.

Side Effect misses and Kaz hammers on Matt for as long as he can.  He’s not paying attention to Abyss though as he hits a springboard rotating legdrop to Matt.  Fade to Black is countered as Abyss is back up with 1:20 to go.  Matt gets the Ice Pick (double underhook choke) to Kaz and Abyss pounds away a bit more on top of it.  Matt, ever the genius, lets go of the hold.  Side Effect puts Kaz down as we wait for the next person to come in.

The fourth man in is Daniels who hammers on Abyss.  BME crushes the masked dude and Matt is taken down by a knee from the top.  Fourtune takes over as the fans chant for Flair.  Ask and ye shall receive as Flair is actually going to be in there for awhile.  That man is absolutely insane.  He has to be.  He and Abyss work over Kaz as Matt beats up Daniels.

Storm has some beer before heading in third for his team.  Beer to the face and it’s Codebreakers and Backstabbers all around.  Flair gets on his knees in front of Storm and begs for mercy before having a beer bottle cracked over his head.  Oh yep Flair is busted.  Flair is in a suit without the shirt by the way.  There go his pants and he gets spanked a bit.  Why is it always HIM that this happens to?

Bully Ray is the freaking clean up hitter for Fourtune and Flair is getting more and more undressed as this goes on.  Roode is waiting in the aisle with 45 seconds to go.  Immortal beats them down until Roode comes in to SILENCE.  This crowd has been dead all night.  Roode shouts FOURTUNE and hits a Blockbuster on Abyss.  The roof hasn’t come down yet but as Fourtune takes over here it comes.

Double suplex to Abyss by Beer Money sets up their shout.  The roof coming down takes long enough to let Jeff Hardy get pinned three times.  Don’t bother showing us what’s going on in the ring right now.  We need to see a roof coming down.  Fourtune has weapons and the beating is on.  We go split screen with one screen having a regular shot of the cage where you can see everything.  Brilliant guys.  Brilliant.

Abyss is knocked out through the door and Matt goes up top.  I really hope he doesn’t break the roof.  Daniels goes up with him as Flair screams a lot.  Daniels loads up Angel’s Wings but Matt blocks hit.  He backdrops Daniels who literally has to grab the roof to hang on with his legs off the cage.  Storm throws the door open to give his feet something to grip on.  Matt hits the Twist of Hate as Flair is literally covered in blood.  MATT FALLS OFF THE CAGE.  I mean he flew off and they didn’t show him afterwards.  That’s scary stuff man.

A bunch of near falls follow and Roode gets a spinebuster on Flair for two.  Daniels dives off the cage onto Abyss and Matt who thankfully were there to catch him.  How is Matt still live?  Roode puts the Figure Four on Flair but Roode makes the save at the last second.  Flair and Ray take their turns with kendo sticks on everyone as Daniels is somehow back in the ring.

Ray says this is for your good friend AJ which brings AJ himself out to the ring for the big beatdown on Ray.  Well there’s your match next month at whatever the next PPV is.  Everyone beats on Flair and Roode throws on an armbar for the surprisingly quick tap out.  Well at least there wasn’t a major turn.

Rating: B. Good match here with some flat out scary shots.  The problem here was that they got caught in the same trap that they always did in this match: the opening WarGames stuff means nothing once we get down to the weapons part.  The spots were enough to make your jaw drop but it wasn’t the best match in the series.  Granted these aren’t usually great.  The ending made sense with AJ making his return, but it was kind of expected.

Overall Rating: D+. Well this was disappointing.  It’s not the worst show I’ve ever seen and is light years ahead of Victory Road (this had an actual main event) but it was nothing compared to what they had built it up to be.  The world title is more or less a throwaway match which is never a god thing.  The main event is ok because it was a major gimmick match but it was nothing great.  The dead crowd didn’t help things either.

The whole thing felt weak to me and that’s certainly not a good thing given what they’ve been doing the past few months.  Disappointing show and a sign of things to come I’m afraid.  Also, this points to more Hogan and Bischoff being the focus of the show, which doesn’t do a thing for newcomers, which is what they need right now.

Results

Max Buck b. Jeremy Buck, Amazing Red, Chris Sabin, Brian Kendrick, Robbie E, Jay Lethal and Suicide – Buck escaped the cage

Ink Inc b. Scott Steiner/Crimson, Orlando Jordan/Eric Young and British Invasion – Mooregasm to Williams

Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Jumping DDT

Samoa Joe b. D’Angelo Dinero – Koquina Clutch

Matt Morgan b. Hernandez – Carbon Footprint

Jeff Jarrett b. Kurt Angle – Jarrett escaped the cage

Sting b. Mr. Anderson and Rob Van Dam – Scorpion Death Drop to Anderson

Fourtune b. Immortal – Roode made Flair submit to a Fujiwara Armbar

Final Resolution 2009
Date: December 20, 2009
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,200
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

This is the final PPV before we got to the Hogan Era and the difference is remarkable.  AJ is world champion here and the main event is him vs. Christopher Daniels for the title.  On the undercard is Angle vs. Desmond Wolfe in a 2/3 falls match which should be awesome.  Notice how the emphasis is on the older guys mixing with the younger guys in order to make the younger ones look good.  That’s called giving someone a rub which you don’t see enough of anymore.  Let’s get to it.

Also expect the TNA shows to have a lot of 2009 coming as I found every show from that year which is a big plus since it’s hard finding TNA PPVs that are complete.

We open up here with a Christmas theme set in front of the wrestlers which then turns to fire and clips of the aforementioned main feuds.  This looks like the opening video to a TV show rather than a PPV.

Tag Titles: British Invasion vs. Motor City Machine Guns

 

The idea here is that the Brits are just there and the Guns are tired of being overlooked which is a very true statement.  At least we get the Motorcity song.  The Invasion is part of World Elite and is comprised of Magnus and Doug Williams.  The ropes are red and green here which is either cool or stupid.  Not sure which.

Sabin vs. Williams to start us off here.  Williams takes him down with a wristlock and they roll around on the mat a bit.  Off to Shelley and it’s a bit more of the same.  Magnus comes in and the fourth guy works on a wristlock.  Shelley tries to jump at Magnus and it just fails.  Right back to the arm because we’ve gone a full 8 seconds without doing that.  The Guns both come in and kick away to take both members of the Brits now.

Stereo double dives from the middle rope on the inside to the Brits on the floor in an awesome spot.  Back in now with Magnus taking Shelley down and it’s off to Williams.  Technically this has been very sound so far.  Williams gets an inverted Gory Special to drive Shelley into the top turnbuckle in a cool spot.  Shelley manages to get a top rope cross body for two.

Back off to Magnus now for some double teaming.  Shelley and Williams (these Brits tag too much) have a nice technical piece and Magnus takes down Sabin to prevent the tag.  Full nelson by Magnus gets him nowhere.  A Vader Bomb by Magnus eats knees and it’s off to Sabin vs. Williams now for a nice change of pace.  Tornado DDT by Sabin gets two.

Back off to Shelley and Magnus and Shelly hits a top rope kick to the chest (think RVD) for two.  The tagging thing is more or less being more forgotten by the second here.  Sabin dives through Shelley’s legs to take Williams into the guard rail.  Sliced Bread #2 to Magnus gets a close two.  Double stomp by Shelley misses and he runs into an exploder suplex by Williams.

Everyone in now as the Guns are taken down one by one.  That would be all as far as numbers go as there are only two Guns.  Shelley and Magnus slug it out in the ring as we’re back to a standard tag format now.  Back off to Sabin again and the Guns hit a double team downward spiral/missile dropkick for two.  Rolling Chaos doesn’t work as Sabin saves Alex by hitting a Cutter on Williams.  The unnamed Skull and Bones gets two on Magnus.  Double team Sliced Bread doesn’t work and Sabin gets caught in a sweet powerbomb/European Uppercut off the top combination to end this.

Rating: B. Good stuff here as it was fast paced and the fans were into it.  For the life of me though I don’t get why they waited for so long to put the belts on the Guns as they got them due to Hall being released for being Scott Hall.  This was a good match and I was getting into it by the end, which says a lot given that I knew who was winning.

We talk about Hogan and we all know how well that’s gone for the company.  Jeff Hardy appeared there too.  Oh dear.

We run down the remaining card in case someone decided to randomly buy a PPV 20 minutes in.  Oh it’s just the main event.  Ok then.

Knockout Title: Tara vs. ODB

 

These two feuded forever around this time and I think they’re both faces.  I get to hear the Broken song so I’m a bit happier.  She still has that stupid spider though which is rather stupid and I never got the point of it.  Dang Tara is hot.  Actually ODB might be a heel here.  She’s acting a bit cowardly.  I never got the appeal to her in the slightest.  And never mind as she jumps Tara when the referee is taking the belt away.

Tara grabs a quick Tarantula and adds a leg drop for two.  They do some sloppy stuff and ODB gets a knee to the ribs.  BAD shoulder breaker by ODB gets two.  Bronco Buster doesn’t work as instead it’s a kick to Tara’s shapely chest.  Almost all ODB to this point other than a quick attack at the beginning.  Fall away slam and a nip up by ODB.  After a LONG delay she gets two.

Tara grabs the sloppiest jackknife cover of all time for two.  There’s no Impact on Thursday due to it being Christmas Eve.  There’s a New Year’s Eve show with a Knockouts Tournament apparently.  Hey TNA is having a tournament.  I’m SHOCKED.  ODB tries….something and falls on her face.  Tara slugs away and gets a flapjack for no cover.  Standing moonsault gets two.  No shake first which makes me sad.  ODB puts her in a fireman’s carry but Tara reverses into something like a sunset flip/rollup for the pin.  Wow this was bad.

Rating: D-. The ONLY thing keeping this from failing is Tara looking great.  I mean this was terrible.  They were sloppy here and ODB constantly rubbing herself doesn’t help anything.  Weak match and I couldn’t wait to get this done.  Terrible match and a great example of why the Knockouts Division was dying around this time.

Tara is happy to have won.

We get a video on Hogan coming to Impact on 1/4.  That 1.5 rating they got is the highest they’ve gotten as of this writing, in March of 2011.

Feast or Fired

 

Jay Lethal, Consequences Creed, Cody Deaner, Robert Roode, James Storm, Eric Young, Homicide, Kiyoshi, Sheik Abdul Bashir, Rob Terry, Kevin Nash, Samoa Joe

Everyone from Young to Nash is in World Elite, making up half of the lineup here.  Simple concept: four cases, one has a world title shot, one has an X Title shot, one has a tag title shot, one has a pink slip.  You pull down a case, that’s what you get.  Like I said, simple concept.  This is of course almost impossible to call as everyone is doing random stuff and it’s a big fight so far.

Lethal goes up early, only to be stopped by Kiyoshi.  The idea here is that World Elite doesn’t want Beer Money or Lethal Consequences to get a case so that the Brits don’t have to fight them.  Smart actually.  Joe hammers on Young as we hear about how experienced Homicide is in these.  Deaner almost gets up but can’t quite get there.  Apparently all of World Elite is banned from going up.  Stupid but whatever.

Deaner goes up again but gets pulled down.  This is a total mess with two people in the ring and the other nine being outside.  Bashir goes up for the third time but Deaner stops him.  They have been the only two in the ring forever now.  Sheik rakes the eyes but he falls off and it’s Lethal Consequences beating on various people.

Lethal plays defense while Creed goes up but he gets knocked off by Bashir.  Deaner challenges him for it and it falls off.  They fight for it on the floor and Bashir kicks him in the knee and clocks him with it to get case #2.  In the ring Rob Terry gets #4.  Young gets all ticked off at him as does the rest of the World Elite team.  Beer Money is like screw this and jumps them.

Beer Money double teams Nash and then Young.  I can understand them not going up there as Nash was on his feet so that makes sense.  BEER MONEY runs into Kiyoshi who doesn’t last long.  All Beer Money here as they beat the tar out of everyone.  Roode goes up but it’s Nash with the save.  He goes up and easily gets case #1.  The people that get cases leave by the way.

Joe gets in the ring for the first time as the fans are clearly behind him.  He beats on Lethal Consequences because he can but he doesn’t have as much luck with Beer Money.  Finishers all around now with Homicide hitting a top rope cutter to take down Roode.  Deaner is up now but Joe is like boy what the world do you think you’re doing and kicks him to the floor and grabs #3 to end this.

Rating: D. No idea what to really think about these matches but this wasn’t very interesting.  It’s like a battle royal but it was messed up beyond belief.  Deaner being in there way too much always hurts things.  Nothing any good here but then again these matches never were worth anything.  Boring but it sets up future storylines so I guess it has that going for it.

Angle and AJ are in the back and Angle says that Wolfe is one of the best he’s ever faced.  He implies he’s coming after AJ once he beats Wolfe.  AJ says cool but first he has to get by Daniels.  Christy was there also and good grief she was gorgeous.

Time to unveil the cases.  Remember it’s World Title, Tag Titles, X Title and being fired.  First up is Nash and he gets a tag title shot.  He and Hall would use that in like May to give the Band the tag titles after not mentioning he had the case for four and a half months.

Joe goes second and gets a World Title shot which he would cash in at Against All Odds and lose.

We do the last two at the same time.  It’s Rob Terry and Sheik Abdul Bashir if you’ve lost track.  Terry gets the X Division Title shot which he gave to Douglas Williams who won the title.  Bashir is fired and then actually left the company.  He gets the future endeavored line and the Goodbye Song as parting gifts.

Taz insists this isn’t part of the show.  Yeah the last 17 minutes for that stuff wasn’t part of the show at all.

Matt Morgan/Hernandez/D’Angelo Dinero/Suicide vs. Rhyno/Team 3D/Jesse Neal

 

This is an elimination match so think Survivor Series.  Actually for the first five minutes it’s 1 on 4 and that would be Hernandez vs. the other four.  Why is that the case?  Who freaking cares?  Apparently not TNA as they barely mention it.  Leave it to TNA to be able to screw this up.  If Hernandez loses in this five minutes it’s over but it’s just an elimination for the other guys.  Leave it to TNA to manage to screw up an elimination tag with overly complicated rules.

Neal is a total jobber at this point and just a student of Team 3D.  Hernandez is coming off a super push where he was almost world champion but was then pushed down into a tag team with Morgan just because.  Ray beats on Hernandez a bit and it’s off to Rhyno.  Why are these teams feuding?  Not necessary information.  Gore hits for two so we know Rhyno won’t last long.  Another Gore misses and a rollup makes it 1-3 which is soon to be 4-3.

Neal is sent out to get a chair but the heels just stand around while the rest of the time runs out and here are the other three.  Morgan is also in the middle of a big push which would just die when Hogan got there.  Hernandez dives out on everyone at once and we get down to regular stuff.  Suicide (Kazarian) hammers on Neal to start.  They have this whole thing backwards at this point as the faces are dominating, which is the total wrong idea in matches like these.

Not being very intelligent, Neal picks up the chair and pops Suicide with it.  Hernandez, not being very intelligent either, picks up the same chair and pops Neal with it.  So it’s a DQ if you hit someone no longer in the match?  3D takes out Suicide so it’s 2-2 now….wait why is Neal still out there?  He cracked Suicide with the chair and the referee clearly saw it.  Heck he reacted to it.  Why does this surprise me?  What the heck ever man.

It’s Dinero vs. Ray at the moment and now Neal leaves as it’s a DQ for him.  How do you make a simple DQ complicated?  Pope gets a top rope clothesline for two.  3D takes Pope out and it’s 2-1 finally.  Team 3D hammers him together for awhile which the referee doesn’t seem to have much of an issue with.  Morgan hits a double clothesline and splashes them both in the corner.

D-Von takes the corner elbows but can still save Ray from a chokeslam.  Oh and the Dudleys are the IWGP Tag Champions here.  Not that it means anything to the vast majority of wrestling fans but TNA insisted it mattered so there we are.  There hasn’t been any time during the 2-1 part where a Dudley has been on the apron.

Big boot takes out D-Von, even though the hand didn’t hit the mat the third time and they wait 15 seconds to announce his elimination.  So it’s Ray vs. Morgan now which would be a win for Ray at the moment somehow.  Ray counters the Hellevator into a DDT and it’s chair time.  Carbon Footprint into the chair ends it.

Rating: D. What the heck were they thinking here?  Was there any need for the five minute thing or for this to take up sixteen minutes or air time?  I mean dude, seriously?  It wasn’t even anything special with the two DQs and the total lack of drama as the biggest star on the other team was who, Ray?  This was boring and another example ot TNA managing to take something simple and overcomplicate it.

We recap Abyss vs. Dr. Stevie which incorporated Foley on Abyss’ side and Raven on Richards’ side.  Richards lit Abyss’ leg on fire which I don’t remember at all.

Oh wait that’s not next.  This is next.

We recap Lashley vs. Steiner.  I’m not kidding here.  They just flat out said they aired the wrong video and this is the next match.  Steiner thinks Lashley’s wife loves her or something.

Scott Steiner vs. Bobby Lashley

 

Last man standing here as Steiner had hit him with a pipe last month in their match to end Lashley’s unbeaten streak.  Kristal, the wife, is thrown out before the match.  Steiner goes after her and Bobby chases.  Bobby catches Steiner and does nothing.  Steiner drills him and we start on the floor.  Back in the ring now and it’s a T-Bone by Bobby to take over.

Dragon sleeper goes on as Steiner is in trouble.  Since Lashley lets Steiner go, that isn’t enough to end it.  Scott’s leg may be messed up here.  Out to the floor and Lashley hits him with a chair.  Steiner hits him with a pipe and down goes Lashley.  Naturally a lead pipe to the head by a huge muscle man like Steiner isn’t enough to keep him down though as he’s up at 7.

Lashley goes into the post and then the steps.  Back in the ring and Steiner gets a downward spiral from the top rope (Lashley’s feet were on it and Steiner was on the mat) for 9.  Belly to belly suplex off the top (with Bobby landing on his head and Taz making a Cole Vintage joke) gets about 8.  Steiner jumps into a suplex of his own Powerslam for Bobby gets two and a Frankensteiner gets the same.  The pipe is retrieved but Kristal comes down to steal it.  A spear and a pipe shot from Steiner end this.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much at all as Steiner was pretty uninteresting at this point to say the least.  Lashley would be gone in a month as he became a full time MMA guy and didn’t exactly do that well at it.  Boring match here that was more or less just there.  At least this ended the feud though.  The Lashleys would turn heel on January 4^th to no one really caring.

We talk about the upcoming tag match for a bit before it happens.

Raven/Dr. Stevie vs. Mick Foley/Abyss

 

Is there a reason why we’re supposed to believe that he’s a doctor?  This is now No DQ which makes things a bit better I guess.  Yep Foley makes it anything goes.  Total mess to start where you can barely keep track of what’s going on.  Abyss beats on Stevie near the announce booth and pulls out a table.  The fan on Tenay’s desk amuses me for some reason.

Abyss wanted to powerbomb Stevie off the stage through a table but Raven makes the save with a kendo stick.  It’s broken over Abyss’ back and jabbed into various parts of his body.  Foley is nowhere to be seen.  Back at ringside Raven rams into Abyss and bites him.  This isn’t much to look at.  Abyss’ leather pants have burn holes in them.  Raven pulls out some gasoline but Foley pops up with a shopping cart full of weapons.

A barbed wire bat is rammed into both heels stomachs and a Piledriver gets two on Raven.  He and Stevie are stacked on top of each other and Abyss sits on them.  Here comes Socko but Raven throws powder into Foley’s eyes.  Abyss saves his partner and puts Stevie in the Shock Treatment while at the same time dropping a leg on Raven in a cool spot.  Abyss has his own sock.  I give up.

Stereo Mandible Claws but Raven gets a low blow and the DDT for two on Abyss.  Foley makes more or less a lasso of barbed wire and wraps it around Richards.  He sets Richards on a table and dives off the stage onto the table with an elbow.  Daffney comes out and hits Abyss with a chair but Raven saves.  Black Hole Slam ends Raven and it’s over.

Rating: C-. If you’ve seen one of these hardcore matches you’ve seen them all.  There’s nothing special about them at all for the most part as they’re all the same thing after awhile.  The big ending spot if Foley diving off and it’s treated like any other elbow drop in a match instead of a huge spot like it was.  Not bad though.

Joe says he’d win and he did.  He isn’t sure when he’s cashing in but it could be tonight.  This is to fill in time to clear the ring.

We recap Wolfe vs. Angle which is the end of the feud.  Wolfe is brand new and keeps beating on Angle but can’t quite beat him by pin or submission (he won by a referee stoppage in a street fight).  This is 2/3 falls with the first being pin only, second being submission only and third is in a cage which is escape only.

Taz and Tenay talk for too long.  Oh it’s for the cage.  I see.  So all three falls are in the cage?  That’s kind of cool actually.

Desmond Wolfe vs. Kurt Angle

 

Angle is still in a Mafia shirt even though that’s long since dead.  They have a ton of time here so they start slowly with ground work.  Angle grabs the leg and down to the mat we go.  Off to a cobra clutch by Wolfe.  Lots of technical stuff here which is pretty solid of course given who is in there.  Hammerlock by Angle and we look at some guy and his kid in the crowd for no apparent reason at all.

Multiple covers get nothing for Wolfe.  A knee drop misses for Wolfe so Angle goes after the leg.  Headlock takedown and it’s Wolfe in control.  They’re in first gear here or maybe a mild second one but it’s still entertaining.  The dueling chants have already started.  Angle fights up and gets a buckle bomb for our first big high impact move.  We’ve been at this almost 8 minutes now so you can tell this is going slowly.

Wolfe in control again with Wolfe working on the arm a bit more.  Modified cobra clutch goes on for a bit but Kurt fights back.  Overhead belly to belly but Kurt can’t get the Angle Slam.  A single arm DDT hits but Wolfe misses a big clothesline misses.  Rolling Germans go on in a set of about five or six.

Angle goes up and gets caught in the Tower of London for two.  It’s a Diamond Cutter off the top if you’re wondering.  The lariat misses again and it’s another attempt at the Tower of London but Kurt escapes and the Angle Slam gets two.  Angle tries the moonsault and, say it with me, it misses by a mile.  Clothesline hits this time and the Tower of London gets the first fall for Wolfe.  Really should have been after the clothesline.

Wolfe goes straight for the arm and Kurt is in big trouble already.  The crank that Wolfe has it on there is INSANE.  Kurt rolls out of it though and it’s time for a figure four out of nowhere.  The rope is grabbed and we’re back to the arm again.  Wolfe puts on a ton of arm holds and they’re all at least somewhat different.  Kurt reverses one of them into the ankle lock and Wolfe is in trouble.

Wolfe reverses into the LeBell Lock minus the crossface.  That gets rolled through and it’s back to the ankle lock.  This is a technical masterpiece so far.  Angle reverses ANOTHER arm hold into the ankle lock which Wolfe reverses into an ankle lock of his own.  Angle grabs something like a triangle choke which gets reversed into an arm lock again.  Triangle choke goes on but Kurt runs through it into an ankle lock again and it’s the grapevine added that ends fall 2.

Ok so it’s now escape to win it.  Oh that guy they showed earlier is Jason Williams of the Orlando Magic.  WWE is in town tonight so they’re making fun of it somehow.  Angle puts Wolfe down and goes up so they fight on the ropes a bit.  Wolfe rams the arm into the cage which is rather smart and basic.  Wolfe goes up so Kurt does the same thing to Wolfe’s leg.  I like that as it’s nice storytelling.

Wolfe knocks him off the ropes so Kurt pops up and throws him off in the running suplex.  Desmond is busted BAD.  Kurt goes up but Wolfe gets a boot up which might have hit Angle’s bad arm.  It was Wolfe’s bad leg though so everyone is down.  Desmond calls for the door to be open but Kurt makes the save again.  Wolfe taps forever but Kurt won’t let go.  Desmond passes out and Kurt climbs out.  Wolfe almost made it but couldn’t quite do it.

Rating: A. Great match here with some incredible back and forth stuff in the submission round.  I don’t tend to like matches like these but this was very fun to see.  Wolfe being left laying like that at the end was great but I would have had him stay there until Kurt had won.  Either way, great match and the whole thing worked incredibly well.  Brutal match with a clear winner, which is the point of matches like these.

Mick Foley talks about Hogan for no apparent reason.

We recap Daniels vs. AJ.  There was a masked man running around jumping AJ and he thought it was Daniels.  There was a three way match at Turning Point where AJ pinned Joe, stealing Daniels’ pin.  The idea here is that Daniels is equal to AJ but Daniels has never gotten anything out of AJ’s friendship.  In short, it’s Anderson vs. Flair.

TNA World Title: Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles

 

Anyone that has read my reviews knows I don’t like Daniels at all for the most part.  This is AJ before they turned him into the Flair tribute character, therefore making him awesome.  The challenger is called Daniels here but I need more names to swap in and out so there you go.  They stare each other down for awhile and then lock up with no one really having control to start.

Daniels grabs the arm when AJ is talking to the referee and takes over.  AJ tries a nip up to escape but Daniels drops down onto him in a nice counter.  Daniels stays on the arm for a good while but tries a dropkick which AJ holds the ropes for.  We speed things up now and AJ pops off an awesome dropkick to take over.

We head to the floor with AJ doing his flips and dives to take down Daniels.  Back in and a hilo sets up a discus clothesline for no cover as it’s all AJ at the moment.  Off to the chinlock and the fans chant for Angle.  Or is it Angel?  Daniels goes with those palm strikes and a monkey flip to send AJ flying.  Clothesline sends AJ to the floor but his foot gets caught on the rope and he lands on his head.

On the floor and Daniels puts AJ in a chair.  He picks up another chair and tries to swing it.  The referee stops him but when he’s not looking Daniels hits a release Rock Bottom onto the chair AJ was sitting in.  Taz asks a good question: “Does the referee think the chair just exploded?”  Back in the ring a side slam gets two as Daniels keeps up the assault on the back of AJ.

A headscissors out of nowhere puts Daniels down but it’s only for a second.  Daniels sits AJ up on the ropes facing the crowd.  He picks AJ up for something like a belly to back suplex but rotates him a bit to drop AJ back first on the turnbuckle in a sick bump for two. Moonsault “hits” and Daniels locks on a crossface minus the arm trap.  Doesn’t go on long but it looked good.  I don’t get why AJ couldn’t just put his arms down to break the pressure but what do I know?

Lionsault minus the running start misses and AJ hits a suplex to put both guys down for a bit.  AJ goes to the apron so Daniels tries a rana to the floor.  AJ just drops him down in a powerbomb which sounded awesome.  He hammers on Daniels and we go back into the ring.  AJ hits an FU into a backbreaker and the backflip into the reverse DDT for two.

Daniels is able to get something like a backdrop onto the top rope to crotch AJ.  From there Daniels steps onto the middle rope and suplexes AJ back in with a unique move.  With AJ sitting on the top rope Daniels hits a HUGE palm strike to the head.  A Frankensteiner and a Shining Wizard gets two.  The fans say someone got served in this youth language that I’m not familiar with.  Stupid young whippersnappers.  BIG knot on Daniels’ head here.

They fight over a suplex but AJ settles for a big old brainbuster instead.  There’s the springboard forearm that I always love for a long two.  Styles Clash is blocked so it’s a Pele instead.  Another attempt is blocked by a palm strike.  Another release Rock Bottom by Daniels sets up the Best Moonsault Ever for a long two.

Daniels hammers away as I think that knot on his head could take over a small country at this point.  AJ sends him chest first into the corner and rolls through into the Styles Clash for two.  Daniels gets up and puts AJ on the second turnbuckle on the inside (I had to channel Gorilla once or twice) but goes for a rana and is caught in the Clash from the middle rope to end it.

Rating: B+. Good match but it’s definitely a step or two behind the previous one.  Daniels was never a real threat here as eventually he has to win something to be classified as a real threat.  This was when AJ had a lot of meaningless matches as champion, but they were good enough that you could overlook that.  Either way, this was good but not as good as the match before it, which hurts it a bit.

Overall Rating: B-. This show suffers from what came after it.  In 15 days, Hogan showed up and all of this was tossed out the window.  They were clearly just holding down the fort at this point and while some of it was good, parts of it are utterly forgettable or just weak.  After the opener, everything until Angle vs. Wolfe is AWFUL.  It’s definitely not the worst TNA show and it’s actually good, but as far as importance goes, this means nothing at all due to Hogan and Bischoff hitting the reset button.  Good show, but the definition of not important.