No word on the time out but the average time before resuming physical activity for this surgery is 2-3 months.  Therefore, assuming the company isn’t lying to us (always a possibility), he’ll be lucky to make it back by Summerslam.  I can’t imagine he keeps the title that long without something changing.

We’ll go with an old veteran today who main evented Against All Odds 2005 on this date: Jeff Jarrett.

Jeff of course got his start in Memphis which is a hard place to find full matches from. One of the ideas of the 80s was to take all of the big wrestling companies aside from the main two and fight back against the WWF. Here’s one of Jeff’s first big matches from AWA SuperClash III.

WCCW Light Heavyweight Title: Eric Embry vs. Jeff Jarrett

 

WCCW vs. CWA here. Jarrett is also a rookie and from the CWA. He won the title recently before this to make the cross promotion thing seem legit. Embry would become a big deal in WCCW as a face after this and then in the USWA. He would book for awhile and liked to be sans clothing while he did so. They do some very fast paced stuff to start and Jeff’s Flair blonde hair is all over the place.

 

They trade a lot of counters and are moving insanely fast out there. Embry, the veteran, finally takes over a bit but walks into that gorgeous dropkick to give Jeff a breather. He’s sent to the floor though and is holding his arm. Eric works on his arm as Jeff is too young to really know how to carry a match at this point. Jeff goes up and hits a middle rope missile dropkick but lands on his shoulder and can’t cover. Jeff sets a world record for most sunset flips in a single match and thefinal one is reversed for the title for Embry. He would drop it to Foley in like two weeks.

 

Rating: C. Just a quick match here for a midcard title change to be on the show. Jarrett was so young here that it was unreal but he would get better. Embry would become the biggest face not named Von Erich for awhile and then would go on to the USWA which was the successor to the CWA. For a four minute match, this was fine.

The idea of course bombed and it was back to being a big guy in Memphis. Here’s a match against a pretty famous opponent from March 9, 1991.

Southern Heavyweight Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve Austin

The title is vacant coming in. Austin takes over quickly and stomps him down into the corner. JC Ice has the referee and Jeff’s small package is missed. Austin hooks a chinlock which only lasts a few seconds. Jeff tries to speed things up but walks into a knee to the stomach. Austin rolls him up in the corner and puts his feet on the ropes for two. A foreign object shot gets the same. Jeff hooks a quick sunset flip and gets the title back.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match ever but it was only a few minutes long and neither guy was all that great yet. This was more about pushing the Monday matches forward because of the post match stuff. Not much to see here and Jeff has the title back that he never really lost in the first place.

It was off to the WWF in late 1993 and Jarrett became a country singer because that’s what people from Tennessee do. He wouldn’t do much in 1994 but got an Intercontinental Title shot at the 1995 Royal Rumble.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Jarrett is challenging and now has the Roadie with him. Razor starts with his usual assortment of punches and a fallaway slam to send Jeff to the floor. After a little toweling off on the floor, Jeff armdrags Razor down and struts. They trade arm holds until Razor gets taken to the mat where Jeff messes with his hair. Careful with the grease there Jeff. Razor gets annoyed and knocks Jeff to the floor for some more Memphis stalling.

Jeff gets back in and is immediately puts in an armbar where Razor can mess with Jarrett’s hair. Some dropkicks floor the champ and a clothesline gets two. Razor catches a boot coming and ducks the enziguri from Jeff, but Razor misses an elbow to keep Jarrett in control. We hit the chinlock followed by a sunset flip by Jeff for two. Another dropkick gets the same and Jarrett is getting frustrated.

Jarrett hooks a sleeper but Razor quickly counters. The counter doesn’t last long though as Jeff hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. Ramon slides behind Jeff in the corner and crotches him on the post to a big pop. We get a messed up (not botched mind you) spot where Razor was going to try a bulldog off the middle rope but Jeff turns around and it had to be a clothesline. Eh no harm no foul. Jeff backdrops Razor to the floor, injuring the champ’s knee. Roadie clips him in the knee and Razor gets counted out.

We won’t get to the rating just yet. Post match Jeff calls Razor a coward for taking the easy way out like that and calls him back into the ring. Razor pulls a Marty McFly and takes the bait, giving us another match.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Razor tries some quick rollups for two but Jeff goes right for the knee to take over. Jeff does his best Ric Flair imitation but as he goes for the third cannonball down onto the leg, Razor kicks him over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Jarrett puts on the Figure Four, putting Razor in a lot of trouble. Razor escapes and starts his comeback with punches and the belly to back superplex but Jeff counters in mid air for two. Razor clotheslines him down and loads up the Edge, but the knee gives out and Jeff rolls him up for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. I always remember liking this match and it holds up pretty well. Memphis stalling isn’t for everyone but it’s a good way of drawing heel heat, which Jeff might as well have been an iceberg for otherwise. Razor was awesome at this point and had good chemistry with Jeff, so this worked pretty well all around. The ending was smart as it was Razor’s trademark ending for house shows, but he would usually win in about 30 seconds with the Razor’s Edge. Nice to see them switch things up here.

Jarrett would defend the title against Shawn Michaels at the second In Your House.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Jeff Jarrett

 

Roadie gives Jeff a VERY long intro before we get to the match. The place goes nuts for Shawn who is at his peak before he won the world title here. Jeff poses on the ropes before the match but bails when Shawn grabs the belt to check out his looks. Back in and we have the first lockup after a minute, only to see Shawn punch Jeff into the corner for more stalling. Michaels lays on the top rope for a breather to tick the champion off even more.

 

Jarrett armdrags Shawn down and struts a bit before they run the ropes to speed things up, only for a right hand to drop Shawn to the floor. Jeff lays on the top as well in a nice mind game. Back in and they fight over a hiptoss before speeding things up again with Shawn hitting the hiptoss and clotheslining Jeff to the floor, only to skin the cat back inside. Jarrett teases walking out but slides back in at 9, only to head right back to the floor.

 

Jeff counts along with the referee but breaks the count at nine again. Shawn finally gets tired of waiting and heads out to the floor to bring Jarrett back in, only to dive into another right hand. Shawn holds the ropes to avoid a dropkick but has to knock Roadie to the floor. A charging Jarrett is thrown over the top onto Roadie, followed by a BIG dive off the top to take out both guys.

 

Back in and Shawn goes to the middle rope but Jeff dives to the mat to avoid a cross body. Shawn held on though and catches Jeff with a sunset flip for two, only to be backdropped over the top and out to the floor. This has been great stuff so far. Back in again and a gordbuster (front suplex with Shawn landing on his head) gets two for the champion and we hit the abdominal stretch. Roadie helps Jeff but finally gets caught, allowing Shawn to hiptoss his way to freedom.

 

Jarrett takes Shawn’s head off with a dropkick for two as Vince’s mic goes out, leaving Lawler alone on commentary. Roadie gets caught cheating again as Vince’s mic comes back on. Shawn is sent to the floor again but the referee won’t let Jeff dive on him, allowing Roadie to get in a clothesline off the apron. Michaels makes it back in at nine and immediately rolls through a high cross body for two. A Jarrett sunset flip is blocked for two but the counter is countered into the sunset flip for two more as this continues to be fast paced.

 

Off to a sleeper from the champion but Shawn fights up and suplexes his way out of it. Both guys are down but Shawn rolls over at nine and gets his arm on Jeff for two. Shawn is getting fired up and snaps off some right hands to take over. A backdrop puts Jeff down and a spinning ax handle off the top gets the same. The elbow drop gets the same for Shawn but he can’t put Jarrett away.

 

Shawn slips under a boot in the corner and crotches the champion against the post. Jeff grabs the referee, allowing Roadie to crotch Shawn o the top rope. There’s a superplex to Shawn but the Figure Four is countered into a small package for two. Now it’s time to go after Shawn’s leg but another Figure Four attempt is blocked, this one taking out the referee in the process. Shawn loads up Sweet Chin Music but Roadie takes out his knee. Jarrett gets two off another high cross body but Roadie trips the wrong guy, allowing Shawn to superkick Jeff’s head off for the pin and the title.

 

Rating: A. This is an excellent match with both guys knowing exactly how to build a match into a frenzy at the end. The chess match here was excellent as they were constantly upping the other one until one of Jarrett’s moves backfired and Shawn took the opening to get the superkick. Jarrett really doesn’t get the credit he deserves for his in ring work. It’s a very basic style but he’s a master at it.

Jarrett would head to Memphis for the rest of the year before returning in late 1995 and not doing much at all. He would head to WCW in late 1996 and try to join the Horsemen in a story that never quite worked. Jarrett would get a chance at Starrcade 1996 against Chris Benoit.

Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett

 

This is a No DQ match as Jarrett wants to be a Horsemen but has to fight his way through some of the other Horsemen first. Jarrett was a guy from Tennessee who was good in the ring, good on the mic and very safe. In other words he had every tool you needed, but no one cared about him at all. It never clicked until he went back to the WWF and completely changed his character that he got over in WCW. Benoit has his future real life wife Woman with him here.

 

Benoit shoves him down with ease and says bring it on. They trade control on the mat until Jarrett slaps him in the face to make Benoit mad. Benoit takes his head off with an elbow to the face before slapping Jeff in the back of his head. Jeff comes back with right hands to take him down before walking over Benoit’s back for good measure. Benoit gets mad all over again and stomps Jeff down in the corner before holding up the Four Horsemen sign.

 

It turns into a brawl with the guys rolling around on the mat and brawling before heading to the floor. Chris takes over on the outside before heading back inside to catapult Jarrett into the buckle. Benoit loads up a superplex, only to be shoved off the top to give Jarrett control. Not that it matters much though as Chris comes right back with a clothesline to send Jarrett out to the floor again. Jarrett is rammed into the barricade a few times, only to come back by dropping Benoit ribs first onto the barricade.

 

Back inside again but Benoit pounds away on him even more and hooking a sleeper. Jeff is taken down to the floor, allowing Benoit to throw his feet on the ropes for additional language. That’s something a true Horseman would do, meaning Benoit is fitting in perfectly. Off to a chinlock now but Jeff comes back with a small package for two. Jarrett goes to the middle rope but jumps into Benoit’s boot for two. Jeff can’t get anything going for more than a few seconds here.

 

They get up again and Jeff goes nuts on Benoit, pounding on him in the corner and hitting a quick dropkick for two. Benoit is dropped on the top rope again but Woman breaks up the Figure Four. Cue Arn Anderson who walks by his Horseman mate to stand on the other side of the ring.

 

Benoit and Jarrett head back to the floor but here are Konnan and Hugh Morrus (members of the Dungeon of Doom, Kevin Sullivan’s team which is feuding with the Horsemen) to go after Woman. That’s fine with her as she kicks Morrus low while the guys in the match are on the floor. Kevin Sullivan comes in and breaks a wooden chair over Benoit’s head as Anderson DDTs Jeff on the floor. Arn doesn’t look and throws Jeff back in, right on top of Benoit for the pin.

 

Rating: C+. This was decent but Benoit losing didn’t do much for the show. To be fair though Jeff is a Tennessee mainstay so him winning is going to do more for the fans than anything else would. The Horsemen vs. the Dungeon of Doom would go on for months beyond what people cared to see.

The rest of 1997 saw Jarrett boring everyone in the wrestling world with a completely uninteresting story with the Horsemen that dragged the entire stable down. It was back to the WWF later in the year for an even less interesting story with the NWA stable. Thankfully it wouldn’t last long before he went back to the country singer gimmick which again went nowhere. The gimmick saw its last appearance at Summerslam 1998 in a hair vs. hair match with X-Pac.

Jeff Jarrett vs. X-Pac

Hair vs. Hair here and Jarrett has Southern Justice (the Godwinns) with him. They combined to cut Howard Finkel’s hair earlier tonight so he’s in Pac’s corner in case the ending wasn’t obvious yet. Commissioner Sgt. Slaughter throws Southern Justice out before we get going. In something I never thought I’d see, Fink does the crotch chop. Jeff jumps X-Pac from behind but a spinwheel kick and a clothesline puts Jarrett on the floor. A big dive takes him out again and the crowd is into X-Pac.

Back in and Jeff hits a pair of great dropkicks to send X-Pac out to the floor. X-Pac is crotched against the post and Jarrett pounds away in the ring. A snap powerslam gets two but X-Pac comes back with a tornado DDT for two. The crowd continues to be white hot as Finkel plays cheerleader. Some kicks in the corner have Jarrett in trouble but he grabs a quick sleeper to stop X-Pac’s momentum.

As is always the case when Jarrett puts someone in a sleeper, the other guy hooks a quick sleeper on Jeff but gets reversed into the corner. X-Pac misses a cross body out of the corner to give Jarrett two and it’s Figure Four time. The hold stays on for a very long time but X-Pac gets two close to the ropes, making Jeff let go to put it on again. The break lets X-Pac kick him into the corner before taking Jeff’s head off with a spinwheel kick. There’s the Bronco Buster and X-Pac rolls through a high cross body for two.

A Jarrett leapfrog is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two and Howard is starting to panic. Another Bronco Buster attempt is countered by a low blow but Jarrett stops to hit the Fink, allowing the X Factor to connect for a VERY close two. Southern Justice is back but Dennis Knight (Phineas) drops a guitar, giving X-Pac the shot to Jarrett for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it went a bit too long for what they were trying to do. If Southern Justice could come out at the end, where were they for the other ten minutes of the match? The haircut was the move that Jarrett needed as he changed his entire character from Tennessee Guy to chauvinist pig soon after this.

Jarrett formed a tag team with Owen Hart that would win the Tag Team Titles and hold them for a few months, dropping them just before Owen passed away in May of 1999. Jeff would spend the summer winning and losing the Intercontinental Title before entering the feud that kept him from ever stepping foot back back in the WWF.

Jarrett entered a feud with Chyna over Jeff’s Intercontinental Title with the showdown coming at No Mercy 1999. Here’s the problem: the show was on a Sunday and Jarrett’s contract expired Saturday night at midnight. Jarrett was still champion and had the WWF over a barrel. He agreed to wrestle at No Mercy for allegedly $300,000 and perhaps stock options, virtually blackballing him from the company. The match happened and that was it for Jeff, but he went out with a fun match.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Jeff Jarrett

Remember this is more or less a weapons match with certain weapons only. Chyna, the liberated woman, is wearing a thong. Sure why not. Miss Kitty is amazing looking of course so that’s no shock. This is a glorified comedy match but that’s working for something like this as it fits the storyline pretty well. Chyna shoves a banana in Jarrett’s face while he has a toilet seat around his neck. See what I’m dealing with here?

All Chyna so far here until she misses an elbow from the apron through a table. She broke the salami that was on the table. Apparently this is falls count anywhere as well. Jarrett hits her in the back with a fish. Ok then. Chyna beats up Miss Kitty but gets caught in the figure four, which was Jarrett’s finisher at the time. Ah there are the ropes. Jarrett comes off the second rope and the tongs he has wind up on his balls.

We’ve got pies. You might notice there is no sort of wrestling or flow to this at all. Don’t bother looking for it as this is a glorified comedy match. Kitchen sink shot gets two. There goes the referee. Who says the late 90s were overbooked? Chyna takes the title to the face…and gets pinned? Apparently so.

BUT WAIT!

The referee says the IC Title isn’t a household item so he can’t use it for the pin. Chyna blasts him with a guitar and that’s ok for the pin and the title. Ok then. Kitty leaves with Chyna, leading to a weird semi-lesbian angle without ever saying that’s what it was.

Rating: C-. Not really a match but it ended the angle in a way that fit perfectly. I’m ok with that as it at least made sense. This was a solid blowoff to the match so that’s all I can ask for I guess. Jarrett would be in WCW in like a day or so and get the biggest push of his career, albeit on a sinking ship.

Jeff would win the US Title before the end of 1999 and then join the latest incarnation of the NWO. A bunch of injuries would cripple the team though and it would be gone in just a few months. Jarrett would thrive though, receiving a WCW World Title shot at SuperBrawl 2000.

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Sid vs. Scott Hall

This is Hall’s last match in WCW. Hall is the popular one but since he has no chance it’s not like it matters. He and Jarrett go at it before Sid gets here. Hall takes out the Harris Brothers and this is no DQ. Jeff chills on the floor while Hall pounds on Sid. Sid beats them both down and the Harris Brothers are running around at their pleasure. The Twins pull Hall to the floor and Jeff works over Hall a bit.

Tony calls Hall and Jarrett a couple of young kids and there goes the referee. Sid hits a double chokeslam and another referee comes down to count two. Jeff takes Sid out with a belt shot for two. The second referee gets a Stroke because….well because Jeff isn’t a nice person. Some heel miscommunication lets Hall get two on Jeff. Sid cracks the Harris Brothers with chairs and Jeff beats up the third referee in about five minutes.

The fourth referee comes in and down he goes immediately. Here’s the fifth referee and it’s the crooked referee Slick Johnson. Jeff sees him coming but gets caught in the Outsider’s Edge, only for Johnson to do the whole “OW MY SHOULDER” bit. Jeff hits Hall with the guitar and here’s Roddy Piper to be the referee. He’s the guy behind the door and he stops Johnson from counting the pin. Chokeslam to Jeff, powerbomb to Hall and Sid retains.

Rating: D+. Well all things considered (7 minutes, 6 referees, 2 Harris Twins and 1 guy with zero chance at all) they did about as much as they could. This felt as rushed as a little personal time when your mom is on her way home and you’re 13 years old. I have no idea why it was so rushed but could it have anything to do with JAMES BROWN DANCING FOR TEN MINUTES?

He would win and lose the WCW World Title in the span of a month in April, leading to a triple threat rematch with Jarrett, Diamond Dallas Page and actor David Arquette in a triple cage at Slamboree 2000.

WCW World Title: David Arquette vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page

It’s a triple cage match where the bottom is like the Cell and there’s a hardcore cage on top of that, which has a bunch of weapons on it. On top of that there’s a cage with a bunch of guitars around it with a cage a single person can fit into. The belt is hanging from the ceiling above that cage which has to be climbed to pull the belt down. It really is an impressive looking structure.

While the introductions are going on, a few things should be noted about Arquette: he didn’t want to do this but Russo insisted it was a brilliant idea. Second, every dollar he made from this he donanted to the families of Owen Hart, Brian Pillman and Darren Drozdov (recently paralyzed in a match). Before I forget you have to use a ladder to get to the second cage through I’m guessing a trapdoor.

The bell rings and Arquette runs. Well at least he’s thinking. Basically you’ll get Page vs. Jarrett for the majority of the match which means it’ll be decent enough. Page gets a clothesline in the ring and calls for Arquette to go up to the top where he misses a splash. Page tries to get a ladder but Jarrett hits a baseball slide to send Page into the cage again. And down goes David as Page sends Jarrett into Arquette into the cage.

Page posts Jeff and goes for the ladder and ultimately the second cage. Jarrett is busted open but manages to suplex Page off the ladder. The ladder is in the corner and not set up so both guys are sent into it as is the ladder match custom. Jeff brings in a second ladder and they both start climbing. Page knocks him off and is in the second cage first. Jeff follows quickly and instead of just going through the door he grabs a weapon and gets caught.

The floor of the cage they’re in is made of the top of the other cage and has wide spaces, making it easy to slip in. Page is busted also and Jarrett tries to climb the wall, only to get caught. They ram each other into the cage wall and it falls down. Keep in mind they’re on top of something the size of Hell in a Cell. This isn’t exactly on the mat and almost falling to the floor.

Hey, I have a great idea! LET’S SET UP A TABLE ON TOP OF A CAGE WITH BIG HOLES IN THE FLOOR! Page gets something like a powerslam through it and both guys are down. The floor is pretty weak but it’s not as bad as a scaffold match. Arquette hasn’t been seen in about five minutes. There he is and here he comes. Arquette goes to the top of the hardcore cage and is totally alone, meaning he could easily retain the title. Since he doesn’t, you might as well hold up a big sign saying SHOCK HEEL TURN.

Page sets for a Diamond Cutter on Jarrett on top of the Cell (they’re outside the hardcore cage so it’s almost like the moat of a castle if that makes sense) but Mike Awesome pops in to break it up. There’s a Diamond Cutter for him and Arquette is on top of the third cage. Page and Jarrett go up and head into the guitar room. Jarrett misses a shot as does Page. He hands one to Arquette to play defense with and as both wrestlers climb, say it with me, ARQUETTE TURNS ON PAGE. Jarrett wins the title.

Rating: B. Above all else, this match shows the fundamental flaw in Vince Russo’s style: this was a good match and there was zero reason for Arquette to be involved at all. As explained during the match, Jarrett was mad at Page because Page was in Ready to Rumble and he wasn’t. They met in a tournament final at the previous PPV for the title with Jarrett winning and then Page got the belt, making this the blowoff match.

DDP vs. Jarrett in a big gimmick cage match (from the movie so it makes even more sense) is more than ok for a PPV main event. They have chemistry together too so the match was going to be pretty good at least. But for Russo that’s not enough so he adds in David Arquette, making it look like any guy off the street (which for Arquette is true from a physical standpoint) can win the title. The title looks bad and instead of WCW having a match that looks like it’s even more crazy and awesome than Hell in a Cell, this match is remembered for David Arquette coming in as world champion. Just let the wrestlers wrestle.

To give you an idea of how screwed up WCW was at this point, Jarrett won his first WCW World Title on April 16, 2000 and won it for the fourth time on May 29, 2000, a span of 43 days.

Jeff would drop down to the midcard after that and not do much of note until WCW folded. He was a big deal in the World Wrestling All-Stars for its entire run, but in June 2002, Jarrett would start up NWA TNA and be its featured star for years. Jeff would win the NWA World Title in November and eventually move into a pretty awesome feud with Raven. One of their title matches took place on April 30, 2003.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Raven

From April 30, 2003 with Jarrett defending. Raven has Julio Dinero with him but unfortunately not the more famous lackey: CM Punk. He also has his chick Alexis Laree, more famous as Mickie James. This is billed as the showdown with Raven wanting to claim his destiny. Feeling out process to start with Raven slamming the champion down and celebrating. A drop toehold ticks Jeff off even more so he erupts with right hands and a dropkick to send Raven out to the floor.

Raven is sent into the barricade but some interference from the Gathering (Raven’s stable) lets him take over again. Jeff knocks Raven down and dives on the Gathering as he foreshadows his lucha libre skills. Another drop toehold puts Jarrett into the steps as Raven has been busted open on something. Dinero has set up a table for Raven who lays a bloody Jarrett on the wood. Jeff gets inside before Raven can dive on him though and the fight continues.

Dinero slides in a chair for the third drop toehold from Raven for two. A knee to the ribs puts Jarrett down again and Raven kicks him in the head like the villain that he is. There’s a sleeper as the fans are behind Jarrett. Jeff comes back with a jawbreaker and a Diamond Cutter of all things to put both guys down. Some right hands block the Raven Effect and a nice dropkick gets two for the champ.

Dinero gets a dropkick as well and Jarrett slams Alexis. Another Raven Effect attempt is countered with an enziguri for two and a catapult into the corner gets the same. The Stroke hits from out of nowhere for another near fall but no real pop from the crowd. A sloppy Raven Effect gets the same but Jeff comes back with a Cactus Clothesline to send both outside. Raven is laid out on the table and Jeff drops a middle rope elbow to drive him through it.

Back inside and Jarrett lays Raven out with a DDT but Dinero makes the save. The referee FINALLY ejects the Gathering but Raven shoves Jarrett into the referee, knocking him into the barricade. Both guys kick each other low as the Disciples of the New Church come out to brawl with the Gathering. Raven calls out Extreme Revolution (your usual ECW guys) to destroy and handcuff Jarrett.

Saturn and Credible hit a Conchairto with superkicks on Jarrett but the lights go out. Back on and here’s Sabu to take out Raven and the rest of the ECW guys. Everyone else leaves and Jarrett ducks a chair shot, sending the chair into the ropes and back onto Raven’s head for two. Bill Behrens (boss) comes out to uncuff Jarrett but Raven grabs the Even Flow for two. Not that it matters as Jarrett pops up and hits the Stroke for the pin.

Rating: B-. I was really digging this until everything fell apart at the end. There had to be some insanity in there but based on this and this alone, giving Raven the title wouldn’t have been the worst idea. There’s chemistry here and a natural dichotomy between these two which makes for a good match like this one.

Jeff would trade the title back and forth with AJ Styles and a few other people as TNA continued to grow. The title would be on the line against challenger Jeff Hardy at the first three hour PPV, Victory Road 2004.

NWA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Jeff Jarrett

Ladder match. It took 9 minutes to get from package to bell. Oh and remember Hall and Nash are both here and allegedly they’re both in Jarrett’s corner. Now in case you don’t know, Jeff Hardy has had ladder matches before. I need to make sure you know this, because the announcers only tell us about 49 times so because they don’t go with the full 50, make sure you know: Jeff Hardy has been in ladder matches before.

West is surprised that Hardy is using the ladder as a weapon. Has he never watched WWF television? Why do the announcers have to keep repeating themselves? There’s really no attempt at getting the ladder and it’s just moves to hurt each other. There’s no flow to this at all and it’s just spot after spot. I know the others have that also, but there’s a clear flow to it and you can easily see the differences between the two.

Hall comes out and hits a Razor’s Edge on Hardy which does nothing at all. The fans for the most part look bored as they have all night. That’s the problem here: all of these spots have not only been done but they’ve been done better by more interesting characters. There’s just no reason to care at all here and it’s painfully showing. And now we have a big ladder. Where have I seen this before?

They set it up on the floor and climb it which is completely pointless as it’s about even with what a regular ladder in the ring would be at. Oh look, Hardy is in control and Nash, with his own entrance music, is coming down. Nothing but good can come of this right? Oh you know it’s coming. They beat up Hardy and Jarrett keeps the title. They call themselves the Kings of Wrestling as they try to do the NWO thing all over again.

AJ comes out to fight them and gets beaten down then Three Live Crew (because I like literacy) comes out and fight to something resembling a stalemate before Macho Man debuts and we go off the air. Yep, the six man was your main event next month and then Savage was gone. What a mess this was.

Rating: D. This was awful. It felt like they said we’re going to have a ladder match then looked around and asked if anyone knew how to do that. It wasn’t interesting at all and it wasn’t any good. None of the spots made you want to see more and nowhere in here did I think Hardy would win. The Outsiders as usual meant nothing. They had one big moment 14 years ago and they’ve ridden it ever since. This felt like an imitation of something better but they knew it was bad.

Jeff would lead a huge heel stable known as Planet Jarrett but eventually lose the title to Rhyno at Bound For Glory 2005, only to win it back soon on Impact. Here’s the rematch from Turning Point 2005.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Rhyno

Feeling out process to start and Jeff grabs a wristlock. That gets him nowhere as Rhyno runs him over for one. A dropkick gets the same for the champ and it’s off to a short arm scissors. The fans want Jarrett fired as Rhyno powers out of the hold and drops Jeff onto the top rope. Press slam is followed by Jarrett being draped over the top again. Out to the floor and Rhyno hits a dive out to the floor.

They head into the crowd with Rhyno in full control. He tries to suplex him off a wall but Jarrett knocks him down and onto the floor again. They head up towards the backstage and Jarrett is rammed into various metal objects, busting him open. Back to ringside and Jeff takes a chair shot to the shoulder and the back. Back to the backstage area and Rhyno loads up a table.

Rhyno takes him onto a scaffold but Jeff finds a chair to pop Rhyno with, sending him down through the table with a crash. Jeff takes him back to the ramp and goes for a suplex but Rhyno counters into one of his own. Rhyno goes to the back to get something and comes back with another table. He puts the table up against the ramp and Gores him “through” it, as I don’t think it actually broke but rather fell on top of the two of them.

With both guys down, JB gets on the mic and says both guys have until ten to get to the ring or it’s over. You know, like in a regular match. Team Canada comes out and beats down Rhyno some more and carries Jarrett back to the ring. Rhyno makes it back in anyway and is all fired up. A clothesline puts Jarrett down and the champ is reeling. The Canadians come in and are quickly dispatched.

Spinebuster gets two for the challenger. He goes up but Petey crotches him. So you can start that ten count thing but you can’t do anything about these guys? Superplex gets two for Jeff as does a TKO for Rhyno. The referee takes a shoulder block in the corner, which isn’t going to mean anything because he’s been useless. Stroke is countered and Rhyno loads up the Gore, only to have Roode come in.

He goes down as does A-1 but Roode gets up quickly and hits his Northern Lariat to Rhyno, getting two. There’s the guitar shot for two. Here comes Jackie Gayda who apparently has something on Jarrett. The distraction lets Rhyno Gore Jeff down for two. The challenger sets up two chairs and tries the Rhyno Driver through them, but D’Amore hits him with the hockey stick. A middle rope Stroke onto the chairs keeps the belt on Jeff.

Rating: B-. It was a pretty solid brawl here but the Canadians at the end got annoying quickly. Then again that’s the point, but this was the HHH formula 101 from 2003. Rhyno wasn’t going to get the title back and probably shouldn’t have, so I can’t really complain about the ending. For a B show main event title match, I can’t complain much here.

Jarrett would spend most of 2006 feuding with Sting, eventually dropping the title to him at Bound For Glory that year. This would get rid of Jeff for about six months until he returned to the ring in the main event of Lockdown 2007 as part of Team Angle.

Team Christian vs. Team Angle

Christian Cage, Tomko, AJ Styles, Abyss, Scott Steiner

Kurt Angle, Sting, Jeff Jarrett, Samoa Joe, Rhyno

Two people start for five minutes, Team Cage gets the advantage for two minutes, after everyone is in the roof with weapons lowers, first fall wins and gets a shot at Christian at Sacrifice. AJ vs. Angle to start. AJ is still kind of an idiot at this point. He tries to take it to the mat but Angle is like boy please. Pretty much just feeling each other out so far to start. Angle goes into something made of steel and AJ stomps away. Off to the chinlock as they’re saving energy for later in the match. Kurt pops off an Angle Slam out of nowhere as the clock runs down.

Abyss is out second and Angle is in trouble. Shock Treatment to Angle and things go really slowly. Remember that there are two minute periods from now on. With really nothing happening in that period, here’s Rhyno who has to pose on the ramp before going to help his partner. He cleans house for awhile and hits a clothesline to take Abyss down. Angle is back up now so it’s a bit more balanced. Tomko comes out to make it 3-2.

The drug addict goes after the guy with alcoholic tendencies and the bearded one wins. Rhyno is busted. Joe comes in third. A lot of these periods are just coming and going with nothing interesting happening at all. Joe beats up Abyss while everyone else is kind of standing around. Down goes Tomko but AJ gets in a shot. MuscleBuster puts AJ down and Tomko takes Rolling Germans. Abyss gets caught in Joe’s Clutch as Steiner comes in to make it 4-3.

Just like the rest of the periods, he beats up all of the partners and hits what he calls the Frankensteiner on Rhyno. Other than that it’s all belly to belly suplexes. Sting comes in to tie it up. Death Drop to Abyss, Splash to Steiner, Splash to Abyss, Splash to Tomko/Styles. AJ tries to climb but Joe chases him, resulting in a SIX MAN TOWER OF DOOM. Ok that was awesome. Deathlock to Steiner but Tomko breaks it up. Christian is the final member of his team to make it 5-4.

Chops don’t work on Sting so Christian gets beaten down. Does no one watch Flair matches? Sting beats up Christian for a few moments and puts the Deathlock on him. Here’s Jarrett to fire off dropkicks for everyone and a Stroke for AJ. The roof is lowered. Everyone stands up and it’s a five on five brawl, rendering the first 21 minutes of this match totally useless.

Jarrett gets a bat but throws it to Sting. Rhyno gets a garbage can in the same method. Total dominance at this point by Team Angle. AJ gets the bat and clubs everyone not named Angle. AJ goes up through a hole in the roof to the top of the cage for some reason. Angle follows him up and Mitchell gives Abyss bags of tacks. Race pops Mitchell for his efforts and the crowd really doesn’t seem to care about this match.

Rhyno gores Tomko through the door as AJ and Angle try not to die by falling off the top of the cage. AJ cracks Angle in the head with a chair and Rhyno goes to the floor also. Steiner goes outside too and Joe dives onto Tomko. There are only four left in the cage. Abyss lays out the tacks but can’t chokeslam Sting and Jarrett at the same time.

Christian takes a double chokeslam from Sting and Jarrett which is a cool visual. Black Hole Slam to Jarrett but not onto the tacks. Angle knocks AJ off the cage onto the people outside the cage. SCARY stuff there. Abyss pours the other bag of tacks into the guitar and since he loaded it up, it goes over his head and Jarrett lets Sting get the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. This was more or less every Lethal Lockdown match you’ll ever see: there are too many people in the ring, the periods don’t mean anything until the end, and the match is pretty dull until the last five minutes. Still though it’s fun and it does what it’s supposed to do, which is all you can really ask for.

Kurt didn’t trust him but the blowoff match didn’t happen for over a year and a half as Jeff left about a month after Lockdown. Here’s the match from Bound For Glory 2008.

JeffJarrettvs. KurtAngle

This is Jeff’s first match in two years and we’re told about his little girls every 9 seconds of course. Angle flips Foley off almost immediately. He’s on the floor for the majority of this match as he’s just an enforcer. Who he’s enforcing against or what he’s enforcing are anyone’s guess but that’s a constant question in wrestling. Big THANK YOU JEFF chant.

Feeling out process to start as Angle tries to embarrass Jeff. I think 2005 did that about as well as possible Kurt. Angle dominates on the mat of course which is what I think everyone expected. He hits a European Uppercut in the corner which is called a German by West because he’s a stupid man. Jarrett hits a pescado to take Angle down on the floor.

Spending a lot of time on the mat here which is probably an attempt to balance out the lack of cardio that Jeff likely has. We get some dueling chants as Jeff fights out of a chinlock. Someone needs to win with one of those once just for the pure shock value of it. Angle’s shoulder hits the post and Jarrett is too spent to do anything about it.

Jarrett starts a comeback but can’t finish him. He goes for a middle rope suplex but Angle blocks and tries a belly to belly to the floor. Since that would more or less kill Jarrett, Angle gets a top rope suplex instead. A nice counter sets up the figure four and Angle is in trouble. Foley has done absolutely nothing in the nearly fifteen minutes we’ve been going so far.

Rolling Germans have Jarret in trouble. Ankle Lock is on and Jeff is about to tap. Angle Slam gets two and a moonsault misses. According to Tenay the figure four is the reason the moonsault missed. I’m pretty sure it was actually Jeff rolling out of the way but what do I know? Stroke gets two but the referee is out so Foley counts two.

Kurt goes to get a chair and Foley says no way. Yes let’s tell one of the most intense men in the history of the sport that hates your guts not to use a chair he has in his hands. Foley gets his skull caved in for the 150th time which he should get a set of steak knives for I think. Chair to Jarrett gets two as Foley stops it. Socko to Kurt and a guitar shot ends it with Foley making the count.

Rating: B. Solid for the most part here and considering that it was Jeff’s first match in so long, this was pretty good. Foley didn’t need to be there like at all but it fit in with the story so I can live with that. Tenay SHOUTS at Jeff’s kids in Nashville that they all love them and this was for you. WOW yeah that wasn’t overkill at all Mikey.

Jeff would come back full time in the spring but only stick around about four months before disappearing again. He would return in 2010 and stick around for over a year, including a somewhat bizarre MMA character. Around this time he would legitimately marry Kurt’s wife Karen, basically stripping Jarrett of all of his power in TNA. They would have yet another match at Lockdown 2011.

Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett

First fall is submission only, second is pin only, third is escape the cage.  Should be awesome.  Karen is ejected before the match starts which is a nice plus.  Angle gets a headlock to start us off which is broken up quickly.  There are only three matches left and we have almost 90 minutes left so this is going to get a lot of time.  Snap suplex puts Jeff down as Kurt hammers away.

 

Leg sweep takes Kurt down and it’s a Figure Four less than two minutes in.  Not a very good one but a figure four nonetheless.  The referee, ever the genius, counts Kurt’s shoulders in a submission match.  Kurt turns it over and hooks a t-bone suplex into the ankle lock.  That doesn’t last long as Jarrett grabs a sleeper.  Jeff sends Kurt into the corner shoulder first and adds an enziguri to the shoulder (which doesn’t work as enziguri means head kick but you get the idea).  Cross armbreaker goes on and Kurt is able to roll out of it and lock on the ankle lock with the grapevine to get the early submission.

 

Jeff sends him into the cage and hits the Stroke for two.  I thought that would have been a fall actually.  Jeff has a top rope cross body rolled through for two.  Double clothesline puts both guys down.  They slug it out and it’s boo/yay time.  Belly to belly by Kurt gets two.  Rolling Germans hear my cry!  The third is blocked by a low blow though which Jeff distracts the referee for.  If it’s pin only, why would he have to distract the referee?

 

Another Stroke is countered into a shot into the cage and an Angle Slam for of course just two.  Jeff goes up and is caught in a belly to belly off the top for a long two.  The crowd is FINALLY getting into this.  They’ve been dead the entire time here which is a shame as this has been a fairly good match so far.  Kurt wakes up and busts out a Diamond Cutter of all things.  That has to be a shot at Randy Orton.  And Jeff rolls Kurt up with tights to tie it up.  No bell or anything and the announcement is delayed, so no one really got that it was a fall.

 

Third is escape only and Jeff tries to unlock the door.  There’s a key in there if you’re wondering.  Jeff sends Kurt into the cage multiple times and goes for the key again.  Ok the door is unlocked now.  Slowest Rolling Germans ever has Jeff reeling though.  There were five in that set and thankfully the crowd responds to it a bit.  Just like last year, Kurt is ready to go and Jeff couldn’t stop him but he comes back in.  He gets to the bottom step twice and come back in.

 

Kurt locks the door and puts the key down his tights.  Jeff is panicking so Kurt beats on him a bit more.  Jeff is the first person to bleed tonight and it’s flowing down his face.  They head to the top rope and Kurt hammers him down.  Angle climbs up but Jeff catches him with a powerbomb off the top of the cage which is botched and Kurt lands on the top of his head, probably killing him.  And of course he pops up to catch Jarrett leaving and hits an Angle Slam off the top.  Kurt tries to leave but lost the key somewhere.  Not a good sign when there’s so much room in your tights that you can’t find a big metal object buddy.

 

Gunner comes out with a chair to keep Kurt from leaving so Kurt pulls a Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga spot and throws out the moonsault to Jeff.  I think his head hit Jarrett so it’s better than nothing.  Steiner runs out to chase off Gunner as both guys are down.  Kurt finds the key and unlocks the door but Karen bounces down and sprays something in Kurt’s eyes.

 

The blind Angle drills the referee and Karen hides by the door.  Jeff tries to escape but gets caught in the ankle lock.  Karen slips him a guitar from somewhere and pops Kurt with it.  Kurt gets up AGAIN and puts the ankle lock on Jeff one more time but Karen slams the door on Angle’s head to let Jeff fall out to end this finally.  You have got to be kidding me.  Are they trying to have a mass murder in Cincinnati tonight?

Rating: B. Le sigh.  Blast it all as they managed to screw up ANOTHER finish.  The match wasn’t great but it was definitely the best of the night.  The crowd hurt this a lot and the ending wasn’t all that great.  It’s Angle vs. Jarrett.  HOW CAN YOU OVERBOOK KURT ANGLE VS. JEFF JARRETT????????  Not a great match as some people will say but good.  The problem is the first two falls were weak and it hurt this a lot.

Angle would win the blowoff match the next month as Jarrett’s time in TNA would wind down. Since then he’s been a fixture in Mexico, even winning the AAA World Heavyweight Title.

Jarrett is one of those guys where I could have gone on twice as long as I did and still missed big matches from his career. While he may get annoying with being booked so hard in TNA, there’s no denying that he’s a very talented wrestler who has gotten better with age. He wrestles a very basic style but is still able to make it work, and that’s the best move a lot of the time. He’s worth checking out, but I wouldn’t recommend a marathon of him.

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Oh this is going to be fun.  I’ll even throw in my overall rating in parentheses.

Honorable Mentions:

Summerslam 1991 (C-. Never got why this was supposed to be great overall)

Wrestlemania X (A-)

Great American Bash 1996 (C-. THat one needs a redo)

Barely Legal (C-. That’s a feel good show and nothing more.)

Backlash 2000 (A. Why is this just an honorable mention?)

InVasion (B-)

Summerslam 2002 (A+. This should be third at worst.)

15. Survivor Series 1995 (B)

14. Heat Wave 1998 (D.  I have NEVER gotten the appeal of this show)

13. Backlash 2009 (B)

12. Bash at the Beach 1996 (B+)

11. Extreme Rules 2012 (A)

10. In Your House 16: Canadian Stampede (A+)

9. No Way Out 2001 (A)

8. One Night Stand 2005 (A+)

7. Summerslam 2013 (A-)

6. Great American Bash 1989 (B+)

5. Wrestlemania III (A+)

4. Spring Stampede 1994 (A-)

3. Royal Rumble 2000 (A+. Amen.)

2. Money in the Bank 2011 (A)

1. Wrestlemania X7 (A++)

Some of those are in the wrong place (Summerslam 2002 not being in the top 3 is questionable.  Not having it on the list is unacceptable).  They got #1 right and while MITB 2011 at #2 is a stretch, I can’t argue with most of this list at all, save for the ECW shows.  They just don’t compare.

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There were some great matches in 2013 and several of them were available for free.

One honorable mention: Sami Zayn vs. Antonio Cesaro from NXT.  It’s a 2/3 falls match and an outstanding fight.  Zayn is as good of an underdog character as you’ll find in wrestling today but Cesaro in Beast Mode is going to put down anyone he’s against.

Now to the nominees:

Rhodes Brothers vs. Shield – Battleground.  It’s the worst show of the year but this match brought out so much emotion for reasons we’ve already covered.  The main story here is the Brothers trying to get their jobs back after losing them to the Authority.  The match was all about the emotion and that’s better than action every single time.  Great match but it didn’t save the show.

CM Punk vs. John Cena – February 26 Raw.  This was the match for Cena’s Wrestlemania title shot and these guys tore the house down.  I called it the best TV match I’ve ever seen and I still  think it ranks right up there with anything I’ve ever seen.  The one thing that holds it back is the lack of drama at the end.  Everyone knew Cena was going to win, but the question was how.  That’s very good but not perfect.

Daniel Bryan Runs The Gauntlet – July 22 Raw.  If a match told a better story on TV this year, I didn’t see it.  Bryan had to face Jack Swagger, Antonio Cesaro and then Ryback in succession.  Swagger didn’t even last three minutes, but the Cesaro section is a war between two different styles.  After that it was Ryback where Bryan gave it his all but couldn’t overcome the power.  The key here though: Ryback lost via DQ, thereby giving us a logical conclusion that doesn’t damage anyone.  Outstanding stuff.

 

That brings us to the two real contenders.

 

Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena – Summerslam.  What else can I say about this match?  It was long, it was exciting, it had great action, it had an ending that came out of nowhere.  The one thing that holds it back: there was no way Cena was winning with that baseball growing out of his elbow.  Just like Cena vs. Punk, there was only one possible winner to this and that was Daniel Bryan.  Still though, excellent match.

 

The winner:

 

CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar – Summerslam.  My goodness what a match this was.  In something I don’t say that often, I was completely wrong about this one.  I didn’t think Punk could be a realistic threat to Lesnar but he went move for move with the beast and had me wondering who was going to win the entire time.  It’s an amazing match with both guys beating the tar out of each other.  On top of that, it was more proof that HHH had no business hogging Lesnar for a year as Brock has had masterpieces with Punk and Cena but three only good matches with HHH.

 

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Leave the memories alone.There are a few nominees for this but the memories of one bring it up.  First we’ll look at the ones that were really good but not as great as another.

 

Payback.  This took me awhile to get to (and gave me the greatest day I’ve ever had for views on here due to me not having the review up on time) but there’s a problem with it: I don’t remember most of the matches.  I remembered liking Payback a lot but I didn’t remember anything but Del Rio turning heel to beat Ziggler.  Cena vs. Ryback was a nice match but it didn’t leave any kind of an impression at all.  It’s a throwaway show and while good, it just doesn’t mean anything at the end of the day.

Slammiversary. Yeah TNA gets a nomination this year as their anniversary show was pretty freaking awesome.  AJ vs. Angle, a great four team tag and one of the best KNockout matches in years.  What else do you want from a show out of these guys?  On top of that there’s a decent Sting brawl, which to be fair is all he can really do anymore.  TNA can put things together and have a good show, but unfortunately they don’t have PPVs for the most part anymore.

Royal Rumble.  This was the runner up at a rating of an A-, the same as the winner.  I really liked the Ruble and there wasn’t a bad match on the show, but Rock beating Punk was the most obvious ending to a show as you’ll ever see.  The Shield interference helped a bit, but Rock might as well have carved his name onto that belt back in June when the title match was announced.  Very good show but not as great.

And the winner….

 

Summerslam.  This one really isn’t all that surprising again as it had two A+ matches on the same show.  That Punk vs. Lesnar match was as good of a brawl as you’ll find anywhere and the Cena vs. Bryan match was the best rub you’ll see this side of Austin passing out in the Sharpshooter.  Bryan debuting that running knee and knocking Cena out cold was perfect and the ending of the show made it even better.  I loved that delay right before Orton’s music hit as it made you unsure if something was happening or not.  On top of that there was a really good Christian vs. Del Rio match, making me think I underrated the show as a whole.  Summerslam was show of the year and it was by a pretty wide margin.

According to Meltzer.  This would mean the show is the lowest bought PPV in modern history save for December to Dismember.  Night of Champions and Summerslam were down as well.  HIAC was up very slightly.

 

In other words, three of the four shows headlined by Bryan were down in buys and the only one up saw Cena returning.  That’s why Daniel Bryan is feuding with the Wyatts instead of the Authority and John Cena is headlining another pay per view.

 

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 24, 1998
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 14,727
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Man it’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these hasn’t it? I kind of got sidetracked by some newer Raws and Superstars plus that whole Wrestlemania thing but we’re back now. This is the go home show for Summerslam so expect a final push for Undertaker vs. Austin. That show wound up being awesome so hopefully this one is too. Tonight is also the end of Brawl For All, THANK GOODNESS. Let’s get to it.

Undertaker and Kane come in through a back door. Or maybe it’s a locker room.

Theme song.

It was a locker room.

Taker and Kane come out together to open the show. JR calls Undertaker Mankind for some reason. The Cell is above the ring. Before they say anything, Vince comes out and is all smiles. It’s his birthday according to JR. Then again according to him the 7ft guy in all black will debut a sock puppet one day. Vince: “Well, Undertaker and Kane have finally come out of the casket.” Vince McMahon: True Blood writer?

Vince says he told us all so and he tells us that twice. He says that Undertaker doesn’t need him since he has Kane by his side now. However, once Undertaker becomes champion, there will be a time when he need Vince for his mind. Before the night is over, Vince wants an answer to the question “Vince McMahon: friend or foe?” Paul Bearer comes out and asks Kane if it’s true or a nightmare.

He says he’s the one that’s always been there for Kane and asks Kane to destroy Undertaker for daddy. Taker jumps Bearer and Kane walks away. Mankind comes out for the save….and gets beaten down by both brothers without fighting back at all. Kane loads up the Tombstone and Taker goes up top to make it a SPIKE TOMBSTONE. Why didn’t they bust that bad boy out more often?

Vince says now only Austin remains between Taker and the title. Cue Austin to keep this segment going. He pops up on the stage and a wall of fire comes up. Austin (now with the Smoking Skull belt. Not sure if that had been seen before) says he knew they were together all along and that he doesn’t appreciate being set on fire. He can’t beat both of them at once so tonight, he’s taking one of them out.

Ken Shamrock vs. Dan Severn

Mankind has been taken out in an ambulance. This is a result of the triple threat last week where Severn choked Shamrock out post match. They both fight for the leg control to start but Severn rolls into the ropes by mistake. He comes back with a powerbomb but doesn’t cover. After a gordbuster a powerslam gets two…and Owen runs in for the DQ. He chokes Shamrock but Blackman runs in to clear that up. This feud just kept going and going. Too short to rate but it was certainly different. Shamrock snaps and suplexes Blackman post match. Then Blackman suplexes Shamrock.

Mankind is out of the ambulance and playing with the stretcher.

Summerslam Highway video. This is still awesome.

Post break Mankind surfs down the ramp on a stretcher. He gets in the ring and says it was cahoots all along. A good cub scout should always be prepared and his good cub scout leader Mr. McMahon said that Kane wasn’t good but Mankind didn’t listen. Tonight it’s Kane vs. Mankind in the Cell. He wants to know what kind of idiot would get back into the same match that almost killed him. Somehow he’s going to throw Kane off the cage or through it, onto 7000 thumbtacks.

We get some clips of the “last” Cell match which is between Taker and Foley. Even they’re already disowning the tag team one.

Here’s Sable to announce the next match.

Marc Mero vs. Kurrgan

Sable dances with the Oddities pre match. No Jackie this week. She’d be at Summerslam for a mixed tag though. Mero asks the Oddities to leave which they do willingly. Kurrgan overpowers him down and dances a bit. Mero goes for the knee until Kurrgan picks him up and hits what we would call a Punjabi Plunge. Jackie runs through the crowd and beats down Sable as Mero hits Kurrgan low for the DQ. This was pointless.

X-Pac relieves himself in someone’s boots.

Southern Justice vs. New Age Outlaws

Someone with a deep voice pops in on commentary. He sounds like he’s doing a Terry Funk impression. Oh it’s Hawk who is bombed still. Jarrett comes out before the match with something to say but his mic doesn’t work. He gets on the headset and reveals those were his boots. Canterbury and Gunn start things off with the Outlaws taking over. Off to Roadie for the dancing punches. Jeff challenges him to a match which was already announced. Off to Knight for a suplex as the match is being ignored. With the referee distracted, Gunn piledrives Knight for the pin. The match was just a backdrop for Jarrett’s ranting.

Jarrett gets annoyed at the cameraman for shooting his boots so Southern Justice holds him for a haircut.

Mankind vs. Kane

Inside the Cell. Kane comes out first so once he’s in the Cell, Mankind tries to climb the cage. He beats up the referee that tries to stop him which lets him ram the cage door on Kane’s head. They fight outside the Cell and Foley tries to throw a chair on top of the cage twice, one of this might have hit Lawler on the way down. He tries to climb up and Taker pops up from out of nowhere to pull him off and through the table. They haven’t been inside the Cell together yet.

Now Kane comes back around to beat Mankind up some more. Kane drags him towards the door and slams it on Mankind’s body which is on the ground. Ok NOW they’re inside the cage together. Kane throws the steps into the ring and beats him in the head with it as Taker watches. He manages a dive over the top to the floor to take out Mankind before trying to throw the steps on top of him from the ring.

Mankind manages to sneak under the ring and comes out with a chair plus the bag of tacks. The chair shot to Kane’s head gets a HUGE pop which suggests the popularity Foley could have as a face. Chokeslam attempt is countered by the Claw but they slug it out instead. Piledriver to Kane sends him into the tacks without much force, but it’s not played up as a huge deal. Mankind goes up but Kane clocks him with a chair.

Chokeslam puts Foley down and there’s the tombstone but Kane won’t cover. Taker sends him a throat slit sign so Kane picks up another chair. Foley gets up and a pair of chair shots to the head puts him down. Mankind gets up AGAIN but walks into a tombstone on the chair. Austin pops out from under the ring (that’s a Russo Special) and destroys Kane, resulting in probably the only DQ in the history of the Cell.

Rating: C+. This was more about the ending of the match than the match itself. The main idea here though was to basically turn Foley face through feeling bad about the horrible beating he took. It’s not a great match or anything but it pretty much did its job. They would lose the titles on Sunday anyway so Kane and Mankind could split in peace.

Taker tries to get in to stop the beating but Vince raises the Cell to prevent Austin vs. Taker from happening before Sunday.

Post break Taker calls Austin a coward for jumping Kane. He says that seals Austin’s fate and tonight, he’ll take his revenge because it’s personal.

Here’s Chyna who wants to call out Rock because of the beating HHH got from the Nation last week. Before she says anything Rock is here. The rest of the Nation comes out as well with a ladder. I think I remember this segment happening live. Rock gets on the bottom rung of the ladder and shows Chyna a shot of DX’s locker room with a forklift in front of it. Rock talks about going to Summerslam, climbing the People’s ladder rung by rung and taking his Intercontinental Title back.

As for Chyna, he sees her looking at him with those bedroom eyes. She’s a very frustrated woman and Rock can’t blame her at all for that. The one conclusion is that Chyna needs to get some. About 2am tonight, Rock can be the man to give it to her. She lunges at him but Brown and Owen make her stop. Rock says she looks natural on her knees and leans down to kiss her but says he doesn’t kiss trash like you. Mark Henry however can do it but Shawn Michaels runs out with a chair to the head of Henry to save Chyna.

Post break DX is out of the room and looking for DX in the parking lot.

Val Venis vs. Taka Michnoku

This is technically a rematch from last week where Val ran the gauntlet but lost to Taka in the final match. Taka takes him down with a spinwheel kick but Val shrugs it off. Shawn is on commentary now but won’t tell us much his relationship with DX. Val powerbombs him and hits the Money Shot but HHH comes in with a chair shot to break it up.

HHH is MAD and says at Summerslam, Rocky belong to him. He was a bit more colorful than that but you get the idea.

We get an extended edition of the Austin vs. Taker video.

X-Pac vs. Gangrel

Gangrel jumps him to start but Pac comes back with a spinning kick. Powerslam gets two for Gangrel and a powerbomb puts Pac down. A Swan Dive misses and Edge is watching. Pac comes back and hits the Bronco Buster but here’s Jarrett with a guitar shot for the DQ.

After DX gets X-Pac out of the ring, Edge runs in and beats down Gangrel.

Undertaker has a casket.

Brawl For All Finals: Bradshaw vs. Bart Gunn

THANK GOODNESS it ends here. I couldn’t take much more of this. We get a recap of this for some reason. Bart knocks him down in about ten seconds and the knockout is complete at 42 seconds. Dang I was hoping to get some reading in during this thing. Bart gets 75 grand and Bradshaw gets 25 grand, as this becomes one of the biggest jokes in company history. Bart didn’t get pushed AT ALL after this, other than forgettable and short feuds with Steve Williams and Hardcore Holly. No title shots, no big angles, no MMA gimmick change, nothing. We wasted six weeks on NOTHING.

Vince says he’ll get his answer tonight. You can hear stage directors saying to get the casket ready.

The lights go blue and the druids start chanting as some guy in a white jacket goes up the ramp for some reason. The druids brings out a casket and Undertaker follows with his new demonic music. Taker says Kane has his own business at Summerslam but for tonight, Taker wants Austin. Here’s Vince instead who asks friend or foe. He extends his hand and is promptly chokeslammed.

Austin pops out of the casket and talks trash to Vince. Now Kane pops out of the casket and beats up Austin while Undertaker watches. Austin gets to the floor and grabs a chair but walks away instead of fighting a losing battle. See, that’s how you have a smart but still tough face. In a cool visual, flames comes up (slowly) down the middle of the ramp, making it look like the dividing line on a highway, to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a hard one to grade. They certainly did a good job of pushing Summerslam as I think every match got at least a mention other than Brown vs. Venis (which for some reason would last fifteen minutes). However the main event stuff felt like a month of stories in one night. Tonight alone we had: Vince telling Undertaker to pick, Austin attacking Kane in the Cell, Austin and Kane in the casket, Undertaker and Kane officially uniting, Paul Bearer pleading with Kane, and probably some other stuff I’m forgetting. All of that in ONE SHOW. It was a bit too much for me, but the PPV makes up for it.

Here’s Summerslam if you’re interested:

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 13, 2001
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 9,182
Commentators: Paul Heyman, Jim Ross

We’re past Summerslam now and the Alliance war continues. Rock got the WCW Title last night and Austin cheated to keep the WWF Title. Other than that not a lot happened last night. Still though, they had a well hyped show last night and the show worked very well. It was probably the high point of the Alliance Era PPVs. Tonight we start on the road to Unforgiven. Let’s get to it.

Austin is greeted by a big celebration from the Alliance. This is Steve Austin Appreciation Night. He says he’ll lead by example and has more of last night for him if need be.

Stacy Keibler/Torrie Wilson/Ivory vs. Jacqueline/Molly Holly/Lita

The Alliance beat up Lita last night so there’s your story. Ivory and Molly start with a nice little gymnastics routine. Off to Jackie vs. Torrie and guess who wins that one. Jackie takes down both blondes and here’s Lita to a big reaction. She beats on Ivory for a bit and then brings Jackie back in. A tornado DDT gets a quick pin on Ivory. It’s as out of nowhere as it sounds.

Rating: D. What exactly are you looking for here? The match was nothing and a few of the girls looked good. In short, it was a Divas match and no one cared. These feuds went nowhere until Trish FINALLY started getting better and feuded with Lita to make anyone care in the slightest about the Divas.

The Dudleys are in the back with Test when Stephanie comes in. She says they’ve had issues in the past but now they’re both more mature. Last night she didn’t get what she wants so tonight she wants Test to take Jericho out for good. Test calls Stephanie a bad name and says he’ll do it.

Here’s Rock, the new WCW Champion. Booker had talked about taking Rock to school but last night, Booker got taken to People’s Elbow 101, Advanced Rock Bottoms and Getting Whipped All Over The Building 407. Rock requests the appearance of Booker and it’s midget time. He ends every sentence with sucka and is convinced to do a Spinarooni. Now it’s a Moonwalk, the Running Man and the Deion Sanders dance.

Rock wants to know if Booker wants to keep dancing until Lance Storm comes out. Hijinks will end tonight and there’s a WCW Title match with Storm challenging later. Rock doesn’t know who Storm is. Storm superkicks the midget which isn’t quite as good as Shawn superkicking the girl a few years back. Somehow this took over twelve minutes.

We recap the APA chasing Shane off during the WCW Title match last night, resulting in Bradshaw taking Shane down with the Clothesline.

APA/Scotty 2 Hotty/Big Show/Spike Dudley/Billy Gunn vs. Dudley Boys/Chuck Palumbo/Sean O’Haire/Hugh Morrus/Tommy Dreamer

There are twelve in this if you don’t feel like counting. Farrooq vs. Palumbo to start things off. Quickly off to Sean and Scotty. I wouldn’t expect any long segments in this match. Morrus and Dreamer try to double team Hotty but get taken down by a double clothesline. Here’s Gunn who gets caught in What’s Up but the APA saves. Bradshaw pounds on Tommy and Spike adds a double stomp off the top.

Dreamer catches Spike in a half crab but it’s off to Bubba for some power. A HUGH double flapjack gets two for D-Von. Morrus comes in and walks into a Dudley Dog. Show comes in and everything breaks down. It’s finishers all around for the next minute or so, ending with Show killing Dreamer with the chokeslam for the win.

Rating: C-. This was a big mess but the parade of finishers is always fun to see. It makes no sense as why wouldn’t they use those all the time, but it’s always cool to see. This was really the only way to get most of the people on the roster onto the shows, especially before the Brand Split, which really was a good thing.

Hurricane gives his testimonial about why he loves Steve Austin, which turns into why Green Lantern is awesome. Austin is his new favorite though.

Chris Jericho vs. Test

Jericho is all banged up from the Rhyno match last night. He says nothing of note pre match. Jericho hits a quick forearm to start but walks into a full nelson slam for no cover. Test hammers away but a powerbomb is countered and Jericho takes him down with a spinwheel kick. A neckbreaker sets up the bulldog but Stephanie breaks up the Lionsault. The big boot misses and Jericho knocks him to the floor. Chris goes after Stephanie but here’s Rhyno. Jericho sends him into the steps but walks into the big boot for the pin. Short match and not much to it.

Last night Christian accidentally speared Edge but Edge won the IC Title anyway. Christian comes up to Edge and talks about how they won the King of the Ring and the IC Title last night. Edge raises his glasses at this but lets Christian take the trophy for his match tonight.

Austin inspires Stasiak so much that Stasiak can’t say it right so we get well over 40 takes of it.

Mick Foley is at WWF New York and is inspired by Angle almost winning but getting screwed last night.

WCW Title: Lance Storm vs. The Rock

Storm jumps the champ to start and Rock is in some trouble. Rock comes back with a clothesline and punches away. Storm hits that perfect superkick of his to knock Rock to the floor. Back in Rock charges into an elbow and Storm gets two off a clothesline. Storm punches him down but walks into a spinebuster to put both guys down. The champ gets two off a DDT. Rock Bottom ends this clean.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad I guess but what was the point? Rock was never in any real jeopardy (as expected) but there wasn’t even a hurdle for him to get over. This went nowhere though and seemed kind of stupid to do to a guy that lost the IC Title last night. Couldn’t they swap in like Hugh Morrus or someone like that here?

Little Booker comes in for a People’s Elbow and two Spinaroonis.

We recap last Thursday where Saturn beat Moppy and then had Moppy stolen. He put her face on a milk carton. I think Raven wound up doing it.

European Title: Christian vs. Matt Hardy

Christian makes fun of the Sacramento Kings before the match because he’s turning heel soon. Lita still has a bad leg. Christian jumps the champ to start which doesn’t work that well. Matt is sent to the floor but is back in quickly for more punching. Matt hits a clothesline and escapes the Unprettier. Twist is countered and Christian gets a rollup with his feet on the ropes for two. Reverse DDT gets two. Unprettier is countered into the Twist for Matt to retain. This was nothing again.

Package of stills from Austin vs. Angle last night.

Booker arrives over an hour into the show and gets laughed at.

Page thinks Sara wants to sleep with him. He’s not worried about Undertaker.

Taz says Austin has toughened him up.

Booker demands a rematch with Rock tonight. Since Shane owns WCW, couldn’t he make the title match anytime he wanted to? Regal makes midget jokes and explains the midget to Booker. Tajiri laughs so tonight it’s Booker vs. Tajiri.

Booker T vs. Tajiri

Booker is in street clothes. Booker welcomes Tajiri to the fire so Tajiri fires (see what I did there?) off kicks. Tajiri gets caught by a beating and we go to the floor. Booker beats on him for about two minutes until the referee disqualifies him. Yeah keep making those young and popular guys look like jobbers WWF. Keep it up and see what’s going to happen with it.

Taker makes sure Sara wants to fight DDP tonight.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Sara

Sara is allowed a free slap. Page shoves her down so Undertaker pulls him to the floor, chokeslams him on the concrete, the bell rings and Sara gets the pin in four seconds. And AGAIN, a WCW guy is made to look like a joke, meaning there’s no point in caring about him at all. Stuff like this is probably one of the biggest reasons the Invasion failed (along with the McMahons and it lasting five months).

Here’s the whole Alliance for Steve Austin Appreciation Night. Some of them have gifts for Austin. Heyman is the master of ceremonies here. Hurricane says that Green Lantern has been his hero but now Austin is his hero. Didn’t he say this earlier? He’s going to wear an Austin shirt instead of the Green Lantern one. Kanyon gives him a Who Better Than Austin shirt. Debra gives him a plate of the famous Debra Cookies. Heyman saves him from having to eat one by airing a video package of Austin’s time in the Alliance. All five weeks of it.

Stephanie gets in and calls the rest of the Alliance in as well. And now, a song. Yes a song. It’s the high point of the camp value of this, minus the good aspect of it. Lillian is brought in to sing, and I couldn’t possibly make this up, Wind Beneath Our Ring. It’s a version of a Bette Middler song and the words are on the screen with a bouncing Austin head. Stephanie makes her start again for a lack of heart and soul.

Now Stephanie is going to lead it. JR: “Oh God not that.” It makes Vickie Guerrero sound like Shakira if you’re interested. Chavo sings some of it for some reason as does Terri. Even Raven sings as does Justin Credible. I’m in awe of this. Not because it’s good or anything, but because THIS IS AIRING ON MONDAY NIGHT RAW.

Austin thanks everyone for it and yells at Tazz for wearing a Tazz shirt. FINALLY Angle arrives in the milk truck to spray everyone down/ Stasiak takes a header into the truck which gets the only laugh of the show out of me. JR says the Billion Dollar Princess has just become the Dairy Queen to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. There’s nothing redeeming about this show at all. Nothing. The longest match is the twelve man tag at just over five minutes. Everything else is a squash with the Alliance guys being decimated AGAIN. Then to top it off, they sang a Bette Middler song until a guy came out and sprayed everyone down with milk. Even TNA would say that was stupid. Horrible HORRIBLE show and one of the worst I can remember in a long time.

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Saturday Night’s Main Event 35
Date: August 18, 2007
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross

Again we’re setting up for Summerslam here which was a pretty decent show at the end of the day. Again though there’s very little effort put into this one seemingly although we do have an hour and a half here instead of an hour like last time so this should be a bit better in theory.

We’re looking for Vince’s son here which could have been great but Kennedy screwed it up and since WWE had zero patience they messed it up. Also Evander Holyfield is fighting Matt Hardy in a boxing match here. Let’s get to it so I can get to the next show quickly.

We open Coach and Vince setting up the story of the illegitimate son and saying tonight they’ll be going through most of the roster. See how that one thing tying the whole show together could help the whole show get a bit better? Coach implies he could be the son and Vince says it’s going to be a long night. You can feel like this is at least a decent show on paper as we’re in the world’s most famous arena and Vince is here. That just makes the show feel bigger.

Batista/Kane vs. Great Khali/Finlay

Khali is champion here and Finlay is about to turn face in a few months. Batista would get the his shot at Summerslam while Kane and Finlay would have a fight there too that sucked. The faces beat the tar out of Finlay before we go to commercial and come back to have Khali beating up Kane. Khali puts the claw on the injured ribs. My head hurts. He’s just squeezing his side. Could he be any lazier? I mean come on now.

If you ever want a reason to know what Khali is said to be unable to wrestle, HERE IT IS! GOOD NIGHT that was a poorly worded sentence. Batista comes in and beats up Finlay. And here’s Horny who is a heel here so Batista just throws him into Kane. They get Khali tied up in the ropes and just ram Horny into him like a battering ram. That was funny actually. A double chokeslam on Khali leads to Finlay being ended with Batista’s usual stuff.

Rating: C. This could have main evented any given Smackdown if you added three minutes to it. It was fine for what it was and it came off pretty well I guess. It’s certainly not a great match but it works for an 8 minute long show on a completely thrown away show I guess.

Vince is looking in a mirror and it turns into a picture of him from the 80s. Simmons shows up to say his one line. That made NO sense.

HHH is coming back at Summerslam.

Holyfield talks to MVP about nothing in particular.

Coach and Vince are in the ring and it’s time for another of the illegitimate son angles. These were funny at first but at the same time they more or less didn’t know who they were going with once Kennedy got suspended and it just got stupid. Coach talks about Vince’s sex life and Vince snaps at him. That made me chuckle for some reason. Coach thinks that the child could be from Kentucky. WOOT!

And it’s Eugene, which would mean that Vince screwed Bischoff’s sister. That seems a bit too stupid to believe. Vince says he slept with a woman, not his cousin. They mention Uncle Eric and apparently Eric got into wrestling for Vince nailing his sister. That’s creative if nothing else.

Good night they messed up that character to the moon and back. Coach asks Vince if he remembers the Mania 2 after party in LA (even though Vince was in the New York portion of the show but whatever) and Melina is brought out. Both seem very nervous and it’s implied they slept together. Can I get a Mackenzie Phillips joke? Coach says he has one more and Vince insists they come out.

Cue glass shattering and an eruption from the crowd. Austin wearing sneakers just doesn’t look right for some reason. They had to go here eventually and I can’t blame them. These two simply belong together. Austin looks like he’s in great shape as compared to when he was in the ring.

He says that Vince could have been a good dad and lists off some things that Vince might have been able to do with him, including talking about the birds and the bees. This is amusing if nothing else for the look on the face of Vince, and Austin is always good for a one off appearance.

The fans pop at the idea of a Stunner. Coach gets it after Vince takes two low blows “to calm down his grapefruits”. Beer is consumed and is poured on Vince’s balls. Of course Vince gets a Stunner as well. Apparently Balls Mahoney was in this segment as well but was edited out for time I guess.

Holyfield is still warming up.

John Cena vs. Carlito

These two always wind up together for some reason. They had split two matches thanks to Orton and this is match #3. Well it’s quick if nothing else. This is exactly what you would expect from these guys as they have a decent little match but there’s nothing at all to get excited about. Carlito starts in control and the comeback hits for the STFU tap out. Orton comes in and gets a belt shot in and an RKO on a chair. Wow they actually did storyline advancement. I’m in shock.

Rating: D+. This was ok at best and bad at worst. It’s also about 5 minutes long so there was just no meat here at all. This was pretty weak though. It did however close an angle and builds on Orton vs. Cena so that was a major perk. Still though, not very entertaining.

And now we replay half the match for no apparent reason.

Orton says he’s coming for Cena at Summerslam.

A bunch of the Divas are here to watch the boxing. I can’t believe they’re going through with this.

Matt Hardy vs. Evander Holyfield

Again, this is boxing. They call Holyfield the best ever. He wasn’t even the best of the 90s. This was about contest #298 between MVP and Hardy as Hardy was supposed to fight MVP but since both guys kept getting hurt and he couldn’t beat MVP for the US Title like he was supposed to. Michael Buffer is here. Come on man you have a career man!

Oh Holyfield has a title fight for one of about 4 world titles floating around at this time. The idiocy of this astounds me. In case you don’t get why, Holyfield is one of the best boxers in the last 40 years, but apparently a guy that has never boxed in his life is supposed to stand chance against him.

There is no reason this should go past 30 seconds in any sort of reality. Holyfield has no headgear on while Hardy does. That helps a tiny bit I guess. After a video package on Hardy we’re back. The rounds are two minutes long. And Hardy is in trouble 20 seconds in. That’s better than nothing I guess.

He’s down again after a minute. He’s down again after a minute and a half. This needs to end like now. Hardy is either a heck of an actor or he got the tar knocked out of him. Oh the Divas are the ring girls. I got it. Holyfield refuses to punch him anymore. Ok that’s better than nothing if nothing else. MVP tells him to attack so he gets punched.

Rating: N/A. This was very odd but of course they gave it more time than anything else tonight. At least Holyfield completely dominated so that’s better than nothing.

Tazz comes out for commentary.

CM Punk/Boogeyman vs. John Morrison/Big Daddy V

These two both had matches at Summerslam I think. Scratch that, only the two with talent had a match. This is about as boring of a tag match as I could imagine. There’s nothing of note happening as it’s Morrison for about 90% of this as BDV is so freaking fat that he can’t move much let alone have a good match.

This is more or less all Punk and Morrison which makes sense if nothing else. It was really short if nothing else and they actually had a commercial in here. This was very boring though and nothing of note is happening. And Punk gets a small package for the pin.

Rating: D. I just wanted this to end at this point. There was nothing at all of note going on and they were just out there to fill in time. The match did I guess give Punk momentum going into Summerslam so I’ll give them that. Still a very poor match though.

A video highlight reel of the show ends us.

Overall Rating: D. Well there was some ok stuff here I guess. Nothing great happened here though and more or less you could have skipped this show and been fine. That’s what I did and I was fine on the next shows. Not a good show at all but it could have been far worse, like the next one. The show and concept were dead at this point though and it showed badly.

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Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re finally at Summerslam and the show looks great. It’s a two match show but those two matches have the potential to be masterpieces. Tonight’s main events are John Cena defending the Raw Title against Daniel Bryan and the Best vs. the Beast in CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar. The rest of the card is hit or miss but Bray Wyatt vs. Kane in a Ring of Fire match has potential. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Rob Van Dam

Dean is defending and Rob won the title shot in a battle royal on Raw. Feeling out process to start with Dean running Rob down. Ambrose does the finger point while shouting US Champion in a cute bit before taking Rob down with a hammerlock. Back up and Rob hits a quick spin kick to put Dean down and there’s the real finger point. Ambrose comes back with chops and punches in the corner as the slow start continues. Dean cranks on the neck and the fans are split down the middle.

A running dropkick against the ropes gets two on Van Dam and it’s off to the chinlock. They get back up and Dean avoids a charge in the corner but Rob comes back with a spinning cross body out of the corner for two. A kick look to set up the Five Star but here are Rollins and Reigns for a distraction but not a DQ. This brings out Big Show and Henry for backup as we take a break.

Back with Ambrose still in control with shots to the chest and a cross face chicken wing. An ECW chant starts up as Ambrose transitions into a sleeper. Rob is sent to the floor but the giants block Shield from interfering. Dean goes out to stare as well but gets kicked down by Van Dam, allowing Rob to put him on the barricade for the spin kick from the apron.

Back in and Rob hits a top rope front flip attack for a close two. Reigns trips Rob to break up Rolling Thunder but Rob still gets two off a cradle. A spinebuster gets two for Dean but a top rope backsplash misses. Rob loads up the Five Star but has to jump at Rollins instead. Dean get a very close two off a rollup but Rob comes back with a kick to the face. Now Rolling Thunder connects and there’s the Five Star but Reigns comes in for the DQ at 14:08. So what did Show and Henry do here exactly?

Rating: B-. This was getting very good until the ending. Again what was the point in Henry and Big Show being out there if they were just going to stand around and do nothing? Dean got to hang in there against Rob but it doesn’t look as good without the win. Good opener though and the fans were WAY into it.

The opening video focuses on the main events and not much more.

JoJo from Total Divas sings the national anthem. She’s not bad.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

Wyatt and his Family debuted a few weeks ago and attacked Kane. Tonight the ring is surrounded by fire to prevent interference but you win by pin/submission. This is Bray’s in ring debut. Kane pounds him into the corner to start and clotheslines him down, sending the flames shooting into the air. The Family tries to get closer to the ring and there goes the fire again. Nice touch. Bray charges right at Kane and pounds away but can’t hit a suplex.

Kane suplexes him down instead, sending the fire up again. Bray avoids the low dropkick but misses a charge, sending himself into the ropes and near the flames. Wyatt crushes him in the corner with a splash and mostly misses a cross body. They’re lucky that the flames are covering up a lot of these misses. Bray slugs his way out of a chokeslam but Kane “hits” a big boot. Are the flames really messing them up that badly? That’s like three moves that have mostly missed. Kane side slams him down for no cover but Bray gets in a shot to take Kane down.

Wyatt asks for a weapon but as Harper loads up a kendo stick the flames go up, catching the stick on fire. Firemen put it out so Rowan steals the extinguisher, but it has no effect. There’s the chokeslam to Wyatt but Kane hits a second one for revenge. He calls for the tombstone but the Family puts a blanket over the flames, allowing the monsters to come in and beat Kane down. There’s no DQ though so this is all legal. Kane is destroyed and Sister Abigail is good for the pin at 7:49.

Rating: D+. This was disappointing. The visuals were cool but just putting a blanket over the flames was a pretty lame way to have the monsters get inside. I was expecting something a bit more supernatural instead of fire safety tips with the Wyatt Family. Also what was up with those botches?

Post match Bray sits in his chair with his hat on as the Family lays Kane’s head on the steps. They crush his head with the top part as Bray lights the lantern to a HUGE pop. The Wyatts take Kane with them.

The expert panel of Booker T, Shawn Michaels and Vickie Guerrero talk about the match a bit.

We get part of a Heyman promo from the pre show as the fire stuff is removed. Punk vs. Lesnar is now No DQ.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

They used to be partners but Sandow cheated Cody out of the MITB case last month, causing Cody to throw the case in the Gulf of Mexico. Sandow talks about great literary pairs throughout history and says there was always a leader and a follower. Cody was the sidekick of the Rhodes Scholars and tonight he’s being sent back to the carnival his family came from. Cody has shaved his mustache and you can find out why on Friday on the Youtube channel. SERIOUSLY? They think people are going to check that out?

They start fast with Cody in control until Sandow takes him out to the floor. Cody is rammed back first into the apron and Sandow fires off forearms to the spine. A quick suplex gets two and it’s off to a knee in Cody’s back. Cross Rhodes is quickly countered but the legsweep and Wind-Up elbow get two for Sandow. Damien busts out Edge’s old Edgecator submission (it’s like a Sharpshooter but Damien leans forward on the legs instead of turning over and pulling) but it’s quickly broken up.

Back up and Cody catches him on the top rope in a Muscle Buster of all things for two. Damien backdrops him to the apron but Cody comes back in with a nice springboard missile dropkick. The Disaster Kick misses and Sandow hits his flip neckbreaker for two. Cody falls down on Sandow’s sunset flip for two before hitting the Disaster Kick for another near fall. Damien avoids a charge into the post for two more but Cody grabs Cross Rhodes out of nowhere for the pin at 6:37.

Rating: C. This was better than I was expecting and I like that they’re pushing Cody stronger. He had so much potential when he was Intercontinental Champion but it just fell apart since them. At the same time though, Sandow continues his downward spiral into nothingness, meaning he’ll be world champion in a few months more than likely. Maybe we’ll get a rematch for the case next month.

Video recap of Christian’s career which is pretty cool stuff.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Christian won a three way to get the shot and has pinned Del Rio twice in the last few weeks. Alberto makes Lillian do his intro in Spanish in a nice touch. Christian quickly sends Del Rio out to the floor but misses a baseball slide. Back in and Del Rio escapes a top rope rana attempt and hits an enziguri to send Christian into the Tree of Woe. Alberto fires off kicks to the chest and a running one somewhere near the shoulder.

Del Rio sends the shoulder into the barricade, meaning he has his psychology boots on tonight. Alberto sends Christian crashing down to the mat and hits a dropkick to the shoulder. King: “That’ll shake your maracas.” A top rope stomp to the shoulder gets two but Christian avoids a running crotch attack in the ropes to send the champion to the floor. Christian hits a BIG dive off the top to take Del Rio down again and Christian pounds away back inside.

Del Rio misses a top rope enziguri and takes a high cross body for two. Alberto begs for a breather but suckers Christian in for a headbutt to the ribs. Christian flips out of a belly to back but can’t hit the Killswitch. The sunset flip out of the corner is countered into the Backstabber (the knees clearly slid off to the side and never hit the back) for two. A rollup gets two for Christian but he gets caught by the corner enziguri for another near fall. This is MUCH better than I was expecting coming in.

The sunset flip out of the corner is blocked by Alberto but Christian hits a running enziguri of his own. A top rope hurricanrana gets a VERY close two for the challenger as the fans are way into these near falls. The spear is countered by a fast dropkick for two for the champion and the low superkick gets the same. Del Rio lowers his knee pad but another shot to the head is countered into a rollup for two. There’s the spear but Christian’s arm gives out (THANK YOU! Edge did the same spot in 2001 but pinned Lance Storm like it was nothing). Del Rio grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere and Christian TAPS at 12:34.

Rating: B+. I REALLY liked this match but the 50/50 booking is so stupid. Christian beat Del Rio twice clean in a few weeks but now Del Rio gets a win so we’re supposed to be impressed? It doesn’t work that way no matter what WWE thinks. Enough of the bad stuff though as this was a great match with both guys looking awesome out there. The crowd was totally into it and the ending was a surprise. Really good stuff here.

Post match Del Rio says he represents the Latinos and that he’s the world champion. This was a tease of a cash in but nothing happened.

Axxess stuff, including Maria Menunos in a Divas tag match.

Miz (the host of this show, in his first appearance here tonight an hour in) is in the back with Menunos. Not much is said until Fandango and Summer Rae pop in. A dance off begins and that’s about it.

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

This is the Total Divas match with Nikki, Eva Marie and the Funkadactyls in the corner. Feeling out process until we get to the catfight stuff, culminating in Brie having to bail from a Sharpshooter attempt. Eva and Nikki pull the ring skirt down to send Natalya to the floor, allowing Brie to take over. The fans chant for JBL and then Lawler as they completely turn on the match. Brie cranks on Nattie’s arm as the fans want tables.

After a faceplant it’s right back to the hold as this match is dragging three minutes in. Natalya makes a quick comeback and puts on the Sharpshooter but Brie kicks away and no sells the pain. The girls get in a brawl on the floor and we’re in the third use of the SAME hold. Someone get Fit Finlay back in this company immediately. The fans are chanting for Ryder as Natayla hits an Alabama Slam and the Sharpshooter gets the tap out from Brie at 5:20.

Rating: F. This was HORRIBLE with both girls looking bad. The Divas are horrid right now other than AJ and occasionally Layla but these reality “stars” are getting TV time because people like to see them argue and be insecure. Natalya is good in the ring but she can’t work a miracle with a model out there. Horrid match and they need to win the crowd back immediately.

Ryback torments a guy at catering over a bowl of soup. I’m sure the leather vest isn’t inspired by Bully Ray whatsoever. “Feed me moron.”

We recap Punk vs. Lesnar which is really about Punk vs. Heyman. Punk turned face around Payback and asked Heyman not to accompany him to ringside anymore. Soon after that Lesnar returned and attacked Punk. Heyman swore that he had nothing to do with it but he turned on Punk at MITB, costing Punk the briefcase. Punk swore revenge on both of them, starting with Lesnar tonight. This is a money feud for multiple reasons, but the biggest being that’s based on HATRED. Punk is furious at Heyman and wants his revenge. His method of getting it? In a professional wrestling match of course. So simple yet so effective.

CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar

The tagline for this match is perfect: the Best vs. the Beast. It’s also No DQ. I always forget how scary of a man Brock Lesnar is until he comes to the ring. Lesnar immediately drives him into the corner and no sells forearms to the head. Brock LAUNCHES him into the other corner and stomps Punk down before no selling knees to the ribs. Punk is thrown around again and rammed into another corner with raw power.

Lesnar brags a bit too much and Punk gets in a kick to the head and a pair of knees to the face to send Brock to the floor. The suicide dive takes Lesnar down and the fans go NUTS. Punk loads up the steps but Brock rams into them to knock Punk down. Brock fires off knees to the ribs but Punk posts him for a breather. A top rope dive puts Brock down again as Punk is giving this all he has. Punk dives off the announce table with a clothesline and Brock is in trouble.

CM makes the mistake of going after Heyman though and Brock gets in a shot to take over. Brock tosses Punk over the announce table in an amazing throw for an even better crash. Since he threw Punk over the table once, Lesnar has to throw him over the other side for good measure. An over head belly to belly sends Punk down onto the concrete and Punk is barely moving. Back in and Brock drives Punk into the corner with shoulders and puts on a bearhug.

Punk gets in some forearms to escape but a knee to the ribs puts him right back down. Back to the bearhug and we get a shot of the evil look on Heyman’s face. Punk comes back again with shots to the head but his high cross body is caught in a fallaway slam. A backbreaker sets up a suplex for three straight near falls. Off to a chinlock but Punk BITES THE EAR to get some separation. More shots to the head stagger Brock and a top rope knee to the chest knocks him into the corner.

Two more running knees to the corner have Brock reeling but Brock catches the third in a fireman’s carry. Punk drops behind Lesnar and hits a high kick, setting up the Macho Elbow (didn’t look good) for two. The GTS and F5 are countered into another high kick but the GTS is countered into the kimura. Punk spins out and hooks a cross armbreaker (GIMMICK INFRINGEMENT) and then a triangle choke of all things.

Brock raises his hand but powerbombs Punk down….but the hold isn’t broken! The hand is still in the air but Brock lifts Punk into the air. Punk fires off elbows to the head, only to be caught in a running powerbomb to kill Punk dead. Lesnar can’t follow up though and both guys are down. A delayed cover gets two on Punk as Heyman is having a heart attack. Lesnar hits Three Amigos of all things for two before very slowly grabbing a chair. Punk gets up and dives onto Lesnar but he mostly hit chair.

Now it’s Punk with the chair and a few shots send Brock back inside. Lesnar gets the chair away but Punk goes low to stop Brock’s chair shot. Punk takes the chair up top and drops an elbow (kind of) onto Brock for a closer two. More chair shots to the back have Lesnar screaming in pain but Heyman takes the chair from Punk’s hands. Lesnar is up AGAIN but Punk grabs Heyman’s tie to escape the F5.

The GTS connects but Heyman comes in to break up the pin. Punk gets a big smile on his face as there’s no Brock to save Heyman, but the case winds up in the F5, which Punk counters into a faceplant for a VERY close two. The Anaconda Vice goes on but Heyman tries to come in with a chair, only to have Punk stand on the chair to block it.

Heyman slaps at Punk’s leg in a funny bit but gets caught by the neck. A right hand puts Heyman down and now he’s in the Vice but Lesnar is back up. He crushes Punk with the chair and hits him even harder the second time. A third shot knocks Punk silly and the F5 onto the chair ends this at 25:20.

Rating: A+. The storytelling and psychology alone made this a great match. I loved the idea that Punk kept taking the weapons away from Lesnar but once Brock got in the first chair shot the match was over. Punk showed he was smarter leading up to the match but his hatred for Heyman cost him in the end when he went on emotion instead of intelligence.

The action in this was incredible as well as it felt like a fight instead of a match, which is the right idea. If nothing else, this shows how bad of an idea the HHH feud was. Punk and Cena have both blown away all of the HHH matches with Lesnar by miles and miles, but we got a year of HHH and a month each of the other guys so far. Such is life in the WWE. Outstanding match here though.

We get a clip from Axxess where a fan took a splash from Mark Henry for three tickets to Summerslam.

Kaitlyn/Dolph Ziggler vs. AJ Lee/Big E. Langston

This is just a combination of two feuds which is a fine way to get both of them on the card. The guys start with Ziggler getting caught in a belly to belly suplex and a spinning splash of all things from Langston. Off to an abdominal stretch before AJ gets in a slap to Langston. Dolph comes back with a quick dropkick and it’s off to the girls. Kaitlyn throws AJ around with ease but gets caught with a wicked spinwheel kick to the face. A few neckbreakers put Kaitlyn down and AJ skips around.

Off to a sleeper which doesn’t last long as it’s back to the guys. Ziggler speeds things up and splashes Big E. in the corner. Ten straight elbow drops to set up the jumping elbow get a two count. Langston makes a quick comeback but gets sent shoulder first into the post. AJ grabs Dolph’s leg but Kaitlyn spears her down as Langston runs Dolph over for two. The Big Ending is escaped into the Zig Zag for the pin at 6:48.

Rating: C-. This was fine but it was in the death spot on the card between the two main events. It came off well enough though and the crowd was into it at times. It was a WAY better idea than putting the Total Divas match here which I thought they were going to do. Nothing great but it did its job just fine.

Fandango and Summer Rae cut off Miz again so he lays Fandango out.

Some low level celebrities are here.

The expert panel make their predictions on the main event. Bryan is the favorite.

We recap the main event. Daniel Bryan is on the roll of a lifetime and Cena selected him for the title shot tonight. The idea is simple: Bryan says Cena isn’t a wrestler, Cena says he’s proven everyone that has said that wrong. However there’s a wildcard in all this: HHH, who is the guest referee and will likely be joining Vince to hijack the match because their storyline is SO much more important than anything else.

Raw World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

The fans are almost unanimously behind Bryan here. Cena has a very bad elbow injury coming in and has been out of action for a few weeks. Feeling out process to start with Cena taking him to the mat via a headlock. Bryan easily gets back to his feet and tries a test of strength of all things with Cena taking him down to the mat. He can’t break Bryan’s bridge though and Bryan monkey flips him down. The YES Lock doesn’t work as Cena bails to the floor.

Back in and Cena tries a left arm (the bad arm) headlock but Bryan takes him down again. The double knee stomp surfboard doesn’t work as Cena kicks Bryan away. Daniel goes to the apron and is knocked HARD into the announce table. Cena follows him to the floor but gets whipped into the steps. Bryan tries a suplex off the steps in a spot I’ve never seen before but Cena counters into one of his own to put both guys down. Fans: “YOU STILL SUCK!”

Cena wisely turns it into a brawl and punches Bryan down before hitting a Batista Bomb of all things. We hit the chinlock and HHH hasn’t been a factor yet. Bryan comes back with forearms to the head and kicks to the chest in the corner but HHH yells at him. Lawler: “Don’t gloat goat!” Bryan hits the running clothesline but misses the hard kick to the head. Cena tries his finishing sequence but Bryan kicks him in the head to block the Shuffle. Bryan can’t hook a submission hold and gets caught in the ProtoBomb followed by the Shuffle for no cover.

Bryan flips out of the AA and catches a charging Cena in the chin with a boot. The missile dropkick connects for two and Bryan fires off the kicks to the chest. Now Bryan goes after the bad arm before slapping on the STF of all things. Cena is about to get to the ropes so Bryan pulls him back and hits two German suplexes for two each. Bryan counters the AA into the YES Lock and Cena is in big trouble. Cena counters by getting his head free (wrestling you say?) but gets pulled down into a guillotine choke.

John FINALLY powers out of it but can barely follow up. Bryan charges right at Cena but gets caught in the AA for a close two. That came out of nowhere and had the fans inhaling in unison. Cena goes up but has to knock Bryan down twice before getting caught by a running dropkick. Now Bryan gets up top and superplexes Cena down but stays on top in a cool power move. He sits up onto the top for the Swan Dive but Cena is up at two. John rolls to the floor and blocks the FLYING GOAT with a forearm to the head.

This time the top rope Fameasser connects for two and Cena is getting frustrated. Cena tries the middle rope AA but Bryan fires off about 25 elbows to the head to break it up. Bryan can’t hit a top rope rana so Cena loads up what looks like a Styles Clash but jumps down and drops Bryan o his head in a SCARY looking botch. Bryan looks ok though and Cena rolls into the STF. Bryan rolls over to his side but the hold is still on, basically making it a chinlock with a body scissors.

Daniel rolls out and hooks the YES Lock in the middle of the ring. Cena crawls over (with his arm slapping the mat in what could have been a tap if you stretched a bit) and FINALLY makes a rope. Bryan hits the running dropkick in the corner and makes it a pair for good measure. Cena comes back with a MASSIVE clothesline but he can’t follow up. They slug it out and both hit shoulders at the same time for another double layout.

Now they slap each other out in the middle of the ring and it’s Bryan taking over and moonsaulting out of the corner, but Cena nearly catches him in mid air. He tries a spinebuster but Bryan counters into a DDT and a lot of checking on each other. Bryan tries a high cross (popular move tonight) but Cena catches him in mid air. Bryan counters into the small package they’ve been building up for weeks but it’s only good for two in a GREAT false finish. The big kick to Cena’s head puts the champion down again and a Shining Freaking Wizard GETS THE PIN AND THE TITLE AT 26:58!

Rating: A+. WHAT A BRILLIANT FINISH! They totally fooled us all by having the standard WWE formula playing out but Bryan wins it out of nowhere with a knee to the head. Brilliant move there after a great match to boot. What more can you ask for in the main event of the second biggest show of the year? Excellent stuff and HHH did absolutely nothing at all.

Post match Cena grabs Bryan and turns him around but they shake hands. Cena leaves with no incident and Bryan celebrates but HERE’S ORTON! Bryan is looking at him though and says bring it on. Orton is standing at ringside and turns around. Bryan celebrates and HHH spins him around and Pedigrees him. Orton comes in and hands HHH the case. You know what’s coming.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Seven seconds and Orton wins.

Everyone is shocked to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. There are definitely some bad spots on here but the main events more than make this a great show. The WWE has been on fire for the last few months and this was no exception with some great matches on top of the card and the midcard having some nice surprises with the Smackdown Title match being much better than I was expecting. The ending was what a lot of people were expecting, because screw making a new star since it’s all about the McMahons. Excellent show though and well worth checking out.

Results

Bray Wyatt b. Kane – Sister Abigail

Cody Rhodes b. Damien Sandow – Cross Rhodes

Alberto Del Rio b. Christian – Cross Armbreaker

Natalya b. Brie Bella – Sharpshooter

Brock Lesnar b. CM Punk – F5 onto a chair

Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn b. AJ Lee/Big E. Langston – Zig Zag to Langston

Daniel Bryan b. John Cena – Shining Wizard

Randy Orton b. Daniel Bryan – Pin after a Pedigree from HHH

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