Summerslam 1996
Date: August 18, 1996
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect

This is not the best time for the WWF as the company has been dealing with the NWO for the last month and a half. Shawn Michaels is doing as much as he can and is doing it again here as he defends the WWF Title against Vader in the main event. Other than that though, we have a Boiler Room Brawl between the Undertaker and Mankind. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Steve Austin vs. Yokozuna

We’ll throw in a bonus here for a somewhat infamous match. Austin hammers away to start and gets knocked down without much trouble. A Samoan drop and legdrop put Austin down and the Banzai Drop is loaded up….but the ropes break and Yokozuna falls down, allowing Austin to get the fast pin at 1:53. Well that got the point across. Vince: “HE IS SO HEAVY!” Yeah that.

The opening video looks at the two main events, which is about fighting the monsters of Mankind and Vader. Makes sense.

Commentary previews the show and a fan actually comes up asking Perfect for an autograph, which he shoves off without saying a word. Even Vince seems to glare at the guy a bit.

Savio Vega vs. Owen Hart

Hart has a cast on his left wrist, with Vince and JR questioning how slowly it has healed. Feeling out process to start with neither getting very far, though the referee does threaten Hart for using the cast. Vega leapfrogs him and sends the cast into various buckles, followed by an armbar.

We cut to the back where Jim Cornette (Hart’s manager) is helping Vader warm up as Vega stays on the arm. There are some fans loudly chanting for Owen, though Vega taking him down by the arm quiets them down a bit. Hart gets up and manages to send him shoulder first into the corner, allowing the stomping to ensue. Vega gets caught in an armbar for a change before Hart switches into an armbar from a different angle for a change of pace. A bite to the leg of all things gets Vega out so Hart ties the arm up in the ropes and slaps him in the face.

Cue Clarence Mason (Jim Cornette’s lawyer) to watch as Vega misses a spinwheel kick but hits a crossbody for two. Back up and Hart’s enziguri connects as Mason is playing cheerleader. Hart’s rollup with feet on the ropes gets two, as does Vega’s rollup. Vega gets up a spinning kick to the face in the corner and a legdrop gets two.

Hart is right back with a kick of his own, followed by a missile dropkick for two of his own. It’s time to go up again but this time Hart gets crotched, setting up a belly to back superplex. Vega seems to land on the cast though, allowing Hart to take it off and knock Vega cold. Somehow the referee didn’t see it, despite it being right in front of his face, and the Sharpshooter goes on to give Hart the win at 13:25.

Rating: C+. Fine enough opener as Hart is always worth a look, though Vega was reaching the end of his usefulness by this point. There’s nothing wrong with having two faster paced guys getting out there to start the show, though trimming a few minutes off here wouldn’t have hurt either. The cast shot at the end didn’t do it any favors either, as there was no reason to believe the referee didn’t see it.

Post match here is Justin Hawk Bradshaw to yell about Vega, who Bradshaw wants to send back to “that island”. Bradshaw gets in a cheap shot on Vega in the aisle to leave him laying again.

Todd Pettingill is scared of being in the boiler room, where he runs into Mankind, who insists that there is no place like home. Undertaker can come in, but beware that he will be seeing a fate worse than death. Mankind licks a pipe.

Tag Team Titles: New Rockers vs. Smoking Gunns vs. Godwinns vs. Bodydonnas

The Gunns, with Sunny, are defending with elimination rules. Skip (of the Bodydonnas) has a neck brace due to a fractured vertebrae. Meanwhile, the Godwinns have Hillbilly Jim, a pig and a basset hound, because Vince McMahon had a thing for hillbillies. Billy and Henry start things off with Henry running him over with a shoulder. A clothesline does it as well and Phineas comes in to throw Zip around.

Billy wants the people to sit down and shut up…so Phineas and Zip tag in both Gunns. Sunny panics as commentary talks about how they have to make contact. This is then proven wrong as Bart tags out to Zip without any issue. Zip takes over on Billy but Jannetty trips Zip down for the pin at 4:03 (likely due to Skip’s injury).

It’s back to Henry to work on Billy’s arm but Cassidy (Al Snow) gets in a cheap shot from the apron to cut Henry down. This means a Partridge Family reference, because the New Rockers are big into that 60s music scene. The Rockers and Gunns start double teamming the Godwinns until some heel miscommunication breaks that down. The Godwinns are fine with going after both of them and we get some double noggin knockers. A quick Slop Drop gets rid of the Rockers at 7:21 and we’re down to two.

Bart hammers on Henry, who is back with a heck of a clothesline to leave both of them down. It’s too far for the tag though and Billy comes in to yell a lot, much to Sunny’s appreciation. Henry gets back with an atomic drop and a World’s Strongest Slam, which is enough for the tag back to Phineas. Everything breaks down and Henry Cactus Clotheslines Bart out to the floor. Phineas hits the Slop Drop on Billy but Bart comes off the top with an ax handle, allowing Billy to steal the pin at 12:21.

Rating: D+. The word that comes to mind here is lifeless. This was a bunch of people going out there and doing their moves to each other until one of them got the win. It wasn’t exciting, it wasn’t interesting and the fans didn’t seem to care. The tag division was such a dead zone around this time and this was a perfect example of why. There was just nothing here and it showed very, very badly.

Post match Sunny brags about the Gunns and unveils a huge poster of herself, her favorite subject.

We look at the WWF taking over Cleveland in recent days. This involves a train racing a carriage to show the fastest way to the arena. Believe it or not, the train wins. Then Jerry Lawler went to a Cleveland Indians practice and tried to learn the spitball. One of the players offered to teach him in exchange for a piledriver. Some wrestlers also helped paint over some graffiti in a nice moment. To top it off, Undertaker and Paul Bearer gave away…a funeral?

British Bulldog vs. Sycho Sid

No Cornette for Bulldog either but Mason is here again. In the back, Sid is glad the fans seem to like him since he came back and is ready to fight. As usual, Sid has the weirdest charisma and it carried him so far. Sid starts fairly fast with a slam to send Bulldog outside, leaving the fans to give us a LET’S GO SID chant. Back in and Sid grabs a headlock but Bulldog fights out and hits the rather impressive delayed vertical suplex.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Cornette clotheslines him to the floor. Cornette is at least watching the match in the back as Vader warms up (he’s been at it for forty minutes now) and Bulldog drapes him ribs first over the top. The chinlock goes on again but Sid is up rather quickly. A charge misses in the corner though and Bulldog nails the running powerslam. Cue Cornette to yell at Mason though and the distraction means no cover. Another powerslam is loaded up but Sid escapes and hits the chokeslam. The powerbomb gives Sid the pin at 6:26.

Rating: C. Sid was always good for an acceptable enough power match and that’s about what we got here. The bigger deal is between Cornette and Mason, which is about as interesting as you would imagine. That’s a big part of why the company was losing to WCW and it would get even worse: yes WCW had the NWO, but look at what the WWF was using to counter. This was fine, but it’s not like it was anything that you would remember in an hour or so.

Goldust vs. Marc Mero

Goldust has Marlena with him but has an eye for Sable, who is here with Mero. Before the match, Mero talks about not liking the attention Mankind has been giving Sable and promises to make Goldust a falling star. Goldust does his crawling thing to start but Mero isn’t having any of that and knocks him into the corner. A drop toehold into an armbar has Goldust in trouble and Marlena doesn’t seem to care in the slightest.

Commentary talks about Ahmed Johnson’s (latest) injury as Mero works on the arm even more. Goldust fights back and knocks him to the apron, followed by into the barricade in a variety of ways. Cue Mankind to call Sable “Mommy”, get fairly close to her, and then leave. Goldust’s chinlock and clothesline get two but Mero fights up and makes the comeback.

An atomic drop and left hands rock Goldust and Mero leverages him outside. Back in and a slingshot legdrop sets up the debuting Wild Thing (shooting star press)…but Marlena has the referee. The delay lets Goldust kick out, which is amazingly stupid given how they just debuted that kind of a move. A powerslam gives Mero two more but Goldust is back with a quick Curtain Call for the win at 11:01.

Rating: C+. This could have been a lot worse, but the kickout of the Wild Thing was ridiculous. Again: if they want someone or something to get over, stop having it be used in the middle of a match to next to no impact. If you want Goldust to win then fine, but don’t cut the legs off of Mero’s awesome new move in the process. That doesn’t help him at all and the result could have been the same without that boneheaded decision.

Post match Goldust goes after Sable but Mero makes the save.

We look at Intercontinental Champion Ahmed Johnson winning a battle royal to earn a title shot the night after Summerslam on Raw but he was already hurt and then got in a fight with Faarooq. He had a ruptured kidney and as a result, his title is vacant. His future isn’t clear, but he’ll be out for a few months at least. There will be a tournament for the Intercontinental Title and a four man battle royal, consisting of the final four eliminated from the original battle royal, for the title shot. Johnson would return to the ring but he never really recovered.

Here are Sunny and Faarooq, still in the blue gladiator period, for a chat. Faarooq does not like the idea of a tournament because he should be handed the title. Sunny can live with it and promises that Faarooq will win the tournament, because what Sunny wants, she gets. There was no need for this to be on pay per view.

We recap Jake Roberts vs. Jerry Lawler. Roberts was trying to reform his drinking and is now a Christian, with Lawler mocking him endlessly and even pouring alcohol down his throat. Therefore, things are personal.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Newcomer Mark Henry is on commentary and Lawler brings out a bag of his own, ala the one Roberts tends to bring. Lawler reveals a Baltimore Ravens jersey and pennant (the Cleveland Browns left for Baltimore and became the Ravens, which did not sit well with Cleveland fans). He talks about throwing out the first pitch at the Indians game and the team’s manager begging him to sign a contract.

The Ravens’ owners are here too so don’t ask them for an autograph! Lawler goes for the bag and pulls out Roberts’ partners: Jim Beam! He mocks Roberts’ wife and calls out Henry’s lack of Olympic medals. Not that it matters as he would just get his gold medal bronzed. Henry just sits and takes this, as he doesn’t quite get the thinking yet.

Lawler keeps going with his routine until Roberts finally comes out to cut him off. Hold on though as Lawler offers what he has in his bag in exchange for Roberts NOT taking out what he has in his own bag. Lawler offers a huge bottle of booze, which is enough to bring out the big yellow snake to wrap around Lawler and get us going. Lawler heads to the floor and wants the microphone again but Roberts pulls him back inside to start up the beating.

A slam on the floor plants Lawler again and Roberts mocks him over the booze. Back in and Lawler gets in a cheap shot, allowing him to tie Roberts in the ropes. It’s time to get one of the bottles, but Roberts gets out and hits the short arm clothesline. The referee yells at Roberts though and Lawler hits him in the throat with a bottle, allowing him to pull the tights for the pin at 4:09.

Rating: D. Ignoring the fairly off putting subject matter, the match was hardly anything worth seeing either. The ending felt like the same thing as the opener, as again it was hard to believe that the referee didn’t see it. On top of that you had Henry, who had no business being on commentary with that lack of talking ability. How was that not noticed before the match? Just have him come out and do something after if you want to showcase him, but don’t focus on his weaknesses like that.

Post match Roberts points at his throat so Lawler pours Jim Beam down his throat (rumored to have been real whiskey as a rib). Mark Henry makes the save after an all time nothing performance on commentary.

Bob Backlund is in the crowd doing….Bob Backlund things (he’s a weird guy).

We recap Undertaker vs. Mankind. Undertaker was used to facing monsters but the more you beat on Mankind, the more he came back, making him a weird opponent. They’re still fighting though and this time it’s going to be a brawl in the boiler room, also known as a Boiler Room Brawl.

Undertaker vs. Mankind

Boiler Room Brawl, meaning they start in the boiler room and the winner is the first to get to the ring and retrieve the urn from Paul Bearer. Undertaker slowly walks into the boiler room and even he looks a bit nervous. This leads to some slow walking around, as Undertaker isn’t sure where he is, giving us almost a slasher movie feel.

Mankind finally sneaks up on him with what looks like a board for a bit shot to the back. A trashcan lid (or something that looks like one) to the head gets Mankind off of him and Undertaker sends him into a metal locker. Mankind is back up to send him throat first into a saw horse and they brawl around a bit more. We get some “technical difficulties”, which is likely code for “an edit” as this half was taped in advance.

Undertaker is sent into a machine but comes back with a pipe to knock a trashcan out of Mankind’s hands. Mankind turns a valve to spray Undertaker with hot steam and they stagger around some more. Undertaker grabs a wooden pallet but Undertaker hits him low with a pipe to cut him off again. A ram into a steel wall drops Undertaker again, allowing Mankind to punch him in the face.

With Undertaker down, Mankind climbs a ladder and drops an elbow onto Undertaker and concrete because he’s kind of insane. Mankind starts going for the door but Undertaker pulls him down and we get more technical difficulties. We come back with Undertaker down on the floor and Mankind climbing a ladder. Undertaker sits up and grabs the ladder, sending Mankind crashing down onto a box (which almost went VERY wrong and could have ended his career).

They fight up towards the door and slug it out until Undertaker blasts him with a fire extinguisher. Undertaker gets out the door but gets pulled back in, with Mankind getting out and slamming the door on him. Mankind manages to get away and close a door, stacking a bunch of stuff in front of it. That’s fine with Undertaker, who breaks the door down and follows Mankind down a hall (where other wrestlers are cheering them on, with even Steve Austin getting a look).

Mankind throws coffee on him and then crawls through the entrance to come into the arena for the first time. Undertaker follows him and they make it to ringside, where WWE has brought in TV’s on carts like we’re in English class in the 90s. I mean we were in the 90s here but not so much with the English class thing. Anyway, Mankind hits a Texas piledriver on the exposed concrete.

That’s not enough to stop Undertaker of course and he pulls Mankind back down and goes inside….but Bearer won’t give him the urn. Instead Mankind comes back in and puts on the Mandible Claw as Bearer starts shining the urn. Bearer slaps and stomps at Undertaker (JR is INCENSED), who tries to crawl over to him. A huge urn shot to the head (CRACK) knocks Undertaker silly and Mankind gets the urn to win at 26:45.

Rating: B. Well it was different and rather violent, which is all you can ask for out something like this. I can definitely get the appeal of this kind of match between two people with their history, but it was so different than anything else that either company was doing. The brawl itself was good, but this was all about Bearer turning on Undertaker, as that was one of the biggest partnerships of the 90s. It was a new world for Undertaker, and that is something he had been needing for a long, long time.

Post match Mankind and Bearer leave so the druids come out and carry Undertaker away. Do they just follow Undertaker around in case he gets beaten up?

Jim Cornette says Vader has proven he can beat Shawn Michaels and tonight, Michaels is going to grabbed by the throat, making him sound like an electric kazoo in a Peter Frampton song. If you need a bizarre reference, go to Cornette.

WWF Title: Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels, with Jose Lothario, is defending and Jim Cornette is here with Vader. Michaels tries to move around to start so Vader hits him in the ribs and drops him with a hard clothesline. A big boot is blocked though and Michaels sweeps the leg, setting up a basement dropkick. Some kicks to the face rock Vader and Michaels low bridges him out to the floor. A baseball slide drops Vader again and Michaels hits a big dive, giving us an image which went on a lot of highlight reels.

Back in and a top rope ax handle sets up a hurricanrana to put Vader down again. Something like a victory roll sends Vader outside again but the slingshot hurricanrana is countered with a nasty powerbomb onto the floor. Vader throws him back inside for a hard suplex as Michaels is in a lot of trouble. The slow beating continues and a rather big backdrop stays on the back.

The beating is so intense that it has Perfect changing his mind about returning to the ring. Vader drops him again with a hard clothesline before grabbing a head and arm choke. That’s broken up so Vader tries to sit on him, only to be cut off with a low blow. Michaels knocks him down and goes up but has to pull out of the top rope elbow as Vader didn’t move as planned. This sends Michaels into an infamous rant about how Vader screwed up, because Michaels in 1996 would have that kind of tantrum on live television.

Back up and Michaels crossbodies him out to the floor, where Vader gorilla presses him onto the barricade. That’s enough for a countout at 13:53, but Cornette says no way, because Michaels isn’t getting out of it that easy.

Michaels seems to agree so Vader goes after him, with Lothario getting between them. That lets Cornette get in a tennis racket shot and they get back inside, where a belly to belly gives Vader two. Michaels manages the flying forearm though and tries the superkick but Cornette grabs his foot. Cornette throws the tennis racket inside so Michaels takes it away and unloads on Vader (with some great sound effects for the DQ at 17:50.

Hold on though as Cornette says Michaels got disqualified on purpose so let’s keep this going and have a real winner. We keep it going with Michaels grabbing a sunset flip but having to avoid a sitdown splash. Now the top rope elbow can connect and the superkick gives Michaels two. The referee gets bumped so Vader’s powerbomb only gets a delayed two. The Vader Bomb is loaded up but Cornette wants the moonsault. That’s enough for Michaels to hit a moonsault press for the win at 22:19.

Rating: B. I liked the story they were telling here with the idea that Vader was overwhelming Michaels but kept giving him chance after chance to escape. That’s the idea of Michaels just finding a way to escape and eventually survive Vader when he went too far. That being said, the tantrum in the middle is just dumb and makes Michaels look pathetic, which he did so often by himself. Otherwise, good main event.

Also of note, this was originally going to be Vader winning the title and ultimately losing it back to Michaels at the Royal Rumble, but Michaels didn’t want to work with Vader so Sid got the spot instead (hence the December In Your House being called “It’s Time” when Vader had nothing to do with the main event.).

Overall Rating: C+. The two main events carry the show as far as it is going to go. The rest of the show ranges from forgettable to bad, which sums up so much of this time for the WWF. They had some talent around, but it was going to take time before the new generation could take the ball. Granted getting Bret Hart back in a few months would help, but this was not a good time for the company, save for the top of the card. You could certainly see that in this show and not in a good way whatsoever.

Ratings Comparison

Steve Austin vs. Yokozuna

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega

Original: B+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas vs. New Rockers vs. Godwinns

Original: B-
2013 Redo: D-
2025 Redo: D+

British Bulldog vs. Sycho Sid

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

Marc Mero vs. Goldust

Original: C+
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C+

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D

Mankind vs. Undertaker

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B

Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B+
2025 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C+

The other two reviews are a bit all over the place, but that original is as rose colored glasses nostalgia as you can get. My goodness that’s nuts.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1995
Date: August 27, 1995
Location: Pittsburgh Civic Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 18,062
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

So it’s time for the annual redos and for some reason, my readers decided to have me watch one of the worst Summerslams of all time. I’m so thrilled. Anyway this is built around Diesel vs. King Mabel in one of those moments where Vince McMahon was considered completely insane. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the big matches tonight, including Diesel vs. Mabel, Jerry Lawler sending his evil dentist (that will never sound normal) against Bret Hart, Kama Mustafa vs. Undertaker (over the again stolen urn) and the sequel to the ladder match (which was added because the company knew they were dead in the water otherwise).

I still love the big flying blimp in the arena. The fans behind it must be so thrilled. Now am I being sarcastic on that one?

Dean Douglas, the annoying teacher, is in the back to critique all of the matches. I’m not a Shane fan, but to go from the Franchise to this is a shame.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Hakushi

Vince: “The Kid is ready for WWF action!” You mean this isn’t the Boggle tournament? Hakushi’s White Angel look is way too awesome for a show like this. Kid grabs a headlock to start but gets taken down by the hair, with a fan opposite the hard camera being VERY upset by the cheating. A trip takes Hakushi down but he kicks Kid away, giving us a double nipup.

Back up and they both miss spinning kicks for another early standoff. Hakushi finally sends him into the corner for the handspring elbow and the fans aren’t sure what to think of it (fair enough as he’s a heel, but an awesome heel). The Bronco Buster hits Kid (so that’s where he got it) and it’s time to kick at his leg. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Hakushi sends him outside and hits a cartwheel into a backdrop over the top for your YOU DO KNOW IT’S 1995 spot.

Back in and a top rope headbutt to the standing Kid gets two but a top rope splash misses. Kid dropkicks him to the floor and hits his own dive, followed by a slingshot legdrop for two. Kid’s top rope splash connects for the patented 1-2-He Got Him NO! Back up and Kid tries a spinwheel kick but gets caught in something like a belly to back suplex to give Hakushi the pin at 9:28.

Rating: B-. This was WAY ahead of its time with stuff like the Space Flying Tiger Drop of all things being far more than you would expect from a WWF match in 1995. The Kid was very good as well and fought from underneath with his own high flying. Good stuff here, though I’m worried about what else they have for the rest of the night.

Dok Hendrix is WAY too excited to know about Mabel’s master plan. You’ll just have to wait, exactly like Big Daddy Fool. And that’s before he even gets in the ring people.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Bob Holly

Helmsley is brand new here and still an undefeated blue blood. There’s no contact for the first minute so Holly grabs him for a slam and an armdrag sends Helmsley into the corner. Holly charges at him though and gets caught in a Stun Gun to let Helmsley take over. Vince talks about wanting to see Lawler in a go kart or bumper cars as Holly gets whipped hard into the corner.

The chinlock goes on and we cut to British Bulldog arriving, even though he has nothing to say. Back in and arena and Holly’s abdominal stretch is countered with a hiptoss over the top. Holly is right back up with a DDT and the dropkick with the backdrop completing the jobber level comeback. A missed charge lets Helmsley finish with the Pedigree at 7:10.

Rating: D. Oh come on. I know it’s a different era but this made Summerslam? I can get behind the idea of a match to make a newcomer look good but this wasn’t entertaining on any level. Helmsley was clearly someone they wanted to push but this would have been boring on Raw and we get it on a pay per view. At least it was short, but that’s all I’ve got.

Some wrestlers and firemen had a charity tug of war. Nothing wrong with that.

Blu Brothers vs. Smoking Gunns

Jacob (of Jacob and Eli Blu, which sounds conspicuously like Jake and Elwood Blues) gets caught in an early armbar from Billy. It’s off to Bart in a hurry but Eli snaps his throat across the top to take over. A quick crossbody gets Bart out of trouble though and Billy comes back in.

The yet to be named H Bomb (when they would become the Harris Twins that is) plants Billy for a delayed two and it’s off to the also yet to be named Tree of Woe (1995 needs to catch up with the times already). Lawler: “I bought five copies of Windows 95 and I don’t even have a computer.” After that random line, Eli gets two off a powerslam as the second Raw level match continues. Billy gets in a dropkick and brings in Bart to clean house. Heel miscommunication lets the Sidewinder connect for the fast pin on Eli at 6:11.

Rating: D-. At least in the Helmsley vs. Holly match (something that has never been said) they were pushing someone new and fresh. Here it’s a win for the Gunns, who had been around for years and were former Tag Team Champions. And against the Blu Brothers? That’s the best they can put together for what should be the second biggest show of the year? Thank goodness we were only a few weeks away from Nitro because this is some horrible planning.

We recap Barry Horowitz vs. Skip in a rematch of the huge upset of Barry pinning Skip. Barry then won by surviving a ten minute challenge, meaning it’s time for a third match. The idea here is that Barry hasn’t won a match in years but managed to pull this one off. How this is supposed to make me want to watch isn’t clear, as Barry is only going to be known to long time fans who are going to be watching in the first place.

Barry Horowitz vs. Skip

Sunny is out with Skip and does her trademark great rant about how they were cheated twice but it won’t happen again. Barry charges to the ring (with the awesome rock version of Hava Nagila) and hammers away to start with a clothesline putting Skip on the floor. Back in and Barry gets two off an O’Connor roll before suplexing Skip over the top again. Sunny tries to throw in the towel but is told that it’s not boxing and doesn’t count. Uh, it counted for Bob Backlund in 1983.

The distraction works well enough for Skip to jump Barry from behind, meaning it’s time for some jumping jacks. For some reason, this turns into a discussion of who would win in a fight between Siskel and Ebert. Barry is back up with some shoulders for two and a sunset flip for the same. Skip runs him over again though and it’s off to a seated abdominal stretch. That’s broken up as well and Horowitz goes old school with a Thesz press of all things for two more.

Skip pulls it back to the mat for legdrops and a chinlock but Barry jobbers up. They trade dropkicks and it’s a double knockdown as this keeps going. Another dropkick from Barry crotches him on top but Skip knocks him backwards. The Swan Dive gives Skip two so Barry hits another dropkick and goes up. This time it’s Sunny crotching him down for a change, which draws out Hakushi of all people. The distraction into a rollup lets Barry get his third straight win at 11:23.

Rating: D. AND??? Am I really supposed to get behind Horowitz after this? The guy has a career win/loss record somewhere lower than mine and now he’s getting a win on Summerslam? Somehow this is the best that they can do and that sums up a lot of the problems they were having around this point.

Dean Douglas uses a telestrator to talk about the previous match in big words. Barry gets an S for Slacker.

Shane throws it to Vince but we get Todd Pettengill instead, who gives us a look at the Wrestlemania X ladder match. Shawn Michaels says you can’t prepare for a ladder match but Razor isn’t taking his title again tonight.

Women’s Title: Bertha Faye vs. Alundra Blayze

Faye, with Harvey Wippleman, is challenging and her gimmick is that she’s large and not very attractive. This is one of those gimmicks that was bad then, worse later and horrible today. Blayze kicks her down to start and sweeps the leg for a bonus. More kicks have Bertha in trouble but she runs Blayze over, because she’s big you see.

The middle rope splash misses and Blayze gets two off a victory roll. Some running head slams get no cover as Harvey has the referee. Instead Blayze goes after him but can’t get the German suplex on Faye. A hurricanrana gives Blayze two and a missile dropkick has Faye reeling. Another dropkick misses though and it’s a sitout powerbomb to give Faye the pin and the title at 4:37.

Rating: D-. You can hear Vince laughing at this one and doing so all by himself. This gimmick isn’t funny and it’s a waste of someone as talented as she was. Is there any reason why they felt the need to humiliate someone that they brought in? There was nothing that the women could do when Faye was only allowed to use the “I’m big” offense in a short match. Terrible stuff here and it’s not on the wrestlers.

Post match Faye says she’s the beauty now and has the belt. Blayze would get it back in about two months.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kama Mustafa, who is the latest person to steal the urn (and melted it down into a big gold chain because reasons) as part of Undertaker vs. the Million Dollar Corporation, which felt like it went on forever. Kama even beat up some of the Creatures of the Night, meaning he’s gone too far. Therefore, it’s a casket match because what else could it be.

Paul Bearer and Undertaker promise to finish Kama.

Undertaker vs. Kama Mustafa

Casket match with Ted DiBiase in Kama’s corner to counter Bearer. Undertaker isn’t wasting time and picks Kama up for some choking and then throws him onto the casket. Something close to a Stinger Splash (THEY’RE DOING THE MATCH!!!) and Old School connects. The casket is opened revealing the Casket Cam as Kama is knocked in.

That goes nowhere this early and Kama is right back up with a top rope clothesline. Undertaker’s second Stinger Splash is caught with a powerslam and of course he sits up again. DiBiase offers a distraction so Kama can hammer and kick away. A clothesline puts Undertaker on top of the closed casket and a suplex does it again. Kama can’t piledrive him on the casket though and Undertaker backdrops him inside.

That’s fine with Kama, who hits a powerslam for a cover, checking off your required “I forgot this is a casket match” box. We hit the chinlock for a good while as the match just stops as they lay there. A belly to back suplex finally gives them something to do and the comeback is on.

The jumping clothesline connects but it’s a Cactus Clothesline to put them both in the casket. They come out and it’s a prototype of the famous shot of Shawn Michaels being dragged back in as Kama is put inside again. Back in and Kama grabs a swinging neckbreaker to put them both down again. The chokeslam connects though and it’s a Tombstone to finish Kama for good at 16:26.

Rating: D. It wasn’t even that it was bad but it was WAY too long with all of the laying around and Kama being the least believable opponent Undertaker has had in a long time. Kama felt like the villain in the fourth edition of an action movie series that has gone on too long and the star needed a paycheck. Really dull stuff here and the last thing the show needed.

Lawler is very excited about the idea of Isaac Yankem removing Bret Hart’s teeth.

Video on Yankem, who really is an evil dentist and we really are supposed to believe this as something threatening. Lawler vs. Hart has been going on for over two years now and has offered some awesome stuff, but as soon as Todd says “the King recruited a dentist”, it loses me a bit. Yankem is of course better known as Kane and his story of hearing that he was being brought in to be an evil dentist is rather funny.

Bret is ready to shut Lawler’s mouth. Bret to Yankem: “I don’t care if you’re a dentist.” Words never spoken in wrestling before or since.

Isaac Yankem vs. Bret Hart

Lawler handles Yankem’s entrance. As a bonus pun, Yankem is billed from Decay-tur, Illinois. Lawler is on commentary for a bit of a surprise as Bret gets shoved down to start. Yankem misses a big elbow but is fine enough to send Bret hard into the corner. Bret is back with an atomic drop and a clothesline for a trip to the floor. Back in and Bret hits a middle rope clothesline, followed by the headbutt to the abdomen.

The backslide gets two as Lawler is saying only Vince needs to be impartial tonight. Another hard whip into the corner takes Bret down again and Isaac chokes on the ropes until the referee drags him away by the hair. More choking ensues as Yankem doesn’t have the highest variety in his offense so far.

Bret is back up and sends him outside for a suicide dive as the comeback is on. Back in and it’s time for the Five Moves Of Doom but a Lawler distraction breaks up the Sharpshooter. Lawler stays up to cheer on Yankem’s beating (as he should) but Bret gets in a slam off the top for a rare power display.

In a change of pace, Bret ties Yankem’s legs around the post and stomps away until the referee unties Yankem’s feet. Lawler would do it but he’s too busy getting beaten up by Bret. The distraction lets Yankem hit a top rope ax handle to the back and Lawler helps him tie Bret’s neck in the ropes for the DQ at 16:10.

Rating: C+. Bret was doing everything he could here but Yankem wasn’t there yet and there’s only so much you can do as an evil dentist. The match felt straight out of Memphis with someone wanting to get at Lawler but he brought in his latest monster for protection. It’s a perfectly usable story and the match wasn’t bad, so I’ll take what I can get here.

Post match Lawler and Yankem pull at the still trapped Bret until referees break it up.

Razor Ramon isn’t scared of Shawn Michaels and he’ll take every chance he can get. If Shawn is ready to dance, Razor leads.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

Shawn is defending in a ladder match, which was added due to “fan demand”, which is a rather accurate definition of what happened (originally scheduled to be Shawn vs. Sid before the company woke up and saw the rest of the card). The title is raised but hang on because Shawn isn’t happy with the way it’s attached to the hook (likely a problem with how the finish was supposed to go). Dok Hendrix has replaced Lawler on commentary.

They both look up at the title and then go to the slugout, as they should have done. The threat of an early superkick has Razor grabbing the ropes in a smart move. A Razor’s Edge attempt has Shawn looking worried so Razor throws him outside without much trouble. It’s time to go for the ladder but Shawn cuts Razor off from getting it. I’ve never gotten that but I guess it’s a pride thing.

They head back to the ring instead with Razor suplexing Shawn outside but Shawn’s leg hits the barricade in a nasty looking crash. Dok: “I might suggest that’s it.” Vince: “Uh yes that’s it.” Back in and Shawn escapes the Edge again but misses another superkick, meaning it’s a double clothesline to put them both down. Razor is up first and hits a super fall away slam as he continues the early dominance (they’re building things up here and that’s going to pay off in the end).

Now the ladder is brought in as we see Sid watching in the back. Shawn makes a fast save though and it’s his turn to grab the ladder, but he would rather hit Razor than climb. Razor breaks up a climb by pulling the tights down and then shoves the ladder over in a smart move. Replays show Shawn’s leg getting caught in the ladder on the way down as the focal point continues to grow.

The leg gets crushed in the ladder again and the fans aren’t pleased. Razor slams him legs first onto the ladder and then puts the ladder on the middle rope in the corner. That gives Razor another place to drop Shawn’s knee onto the ladder and it’s time to go into the Ric Flair cannonballs onto the leg. Shawn kicks him to the floor for a breather but that just lets Razor wrap the knee around the post. Back in and the knee gets wrenched again The ladder is set up in the middle of the ring but Shawn suplexes Razor back down for a double knockdown.

Shawn puts the ladder in the corner and whips Razor into it and bring the cheers back. A moonsault off the ladder lets Shawn hammer away but he misses the huge splash off the ladder (call back tot he previous match) and they’re both down again. They both make the slow climb and crash back down for a double crotching on the top. A missed charge with the ladder has Shawn falling out to the floor and Razor goes down with him. Shawn goes back in and sets up the ladder but Razor brings in a second ladder (a new concept at the time).

Razor drops his though and hits the Razor’s Edge off the original ladder for the big knockout shot. He can’t follow up though and they’re both down again. Both ladders are set up for a double climb but Shawn superkicks him down. Hang on though as Shawn isn’t under the belt so he jumps for it, meaning another crash down onto the bad leg. Another Razor’s Edge attempt is countered with a backdrop to the floor, allowing Shawn to go up and grab the title….but he falls again without the belt coming down. A ticked off Shawn goes up and pulls the title down to retain at 25:09.

Rating: A. Yeah this was outstanding and you could argue it’s better than the original. The big difference here was having the match involve a ladder instead of being about a ladder. They had a heck of a match with Razor working the leg and Shawn having to find a way around the power game. The teasing of finishers until the end was a great addition as well and the whole thing was a blast with big spots and awesome action throughout. Check this out and then go watch the first one again because you really could say either of them is better.

Post match Razor grabs the belt but hands it to Shawn for the nice moment.

Douglas doesn’t like Razor calling himself the Bad Guy when Razor comes in to knock him down with one punch.

Diesel isn’t worried about Mabel. You know, because he’s Mabel.

WWF World Title: King Mabel vs. Diesel

Mabel, with Sir Mo, is defending and the story here is finding out his Royal Plan. We get the trash talking before the bell and my goodness Mabel’s crown looks pitiful. It looks like it’s made of paper or cheap plastic and comes off like a toy instead of something serious. Kind of like his whole push in a way.

Mabel runs him over to start and chops away in the corner but Diesel forearms him back. The big slam doesn’t work so Diesel hits some clotheslines to put Mabel on the floor. Diesel actually manages a dive over the top (not terrible either) to take Mabel down but the fans just do not care. Mabel charges into a big boot but is back in with a….I guess Boss Man Slam, but he shoved Diesel down instead of picking him up. To mix it up a bit, Mabel sits on Diesel’s back but misses a backsplash.

The referee gets bumped so Mo comes in (which seems to be the Royal Plan), drawing out Lex Luger for the save. Well the attempted save at least as Luger is knocked outside, leaving Mabel to drop the leg on Diesel on the floor. Luger takes care of Mo (Did Luger just come out early or something? Also, that would be his last appearance in the company as he would debut on Nitro eight days later), leaving Mabel to hit the belly to belly for two. Mabel misses a middle rope splash though, allowing Diesel to hit a middle rope clothesline to retain at 9:16 (admittedly to a big pop).

Rating: D-. Oh come on what else were you expecting here? It’s freaking MABEL. Diesel is someone who can have a great match with the right opponent but Mabel is so far away from being the right opponent that he’s the left one. There’s no way to make this work as Mabel was nothing more than the big guy with a lame lackey. There was no way this was going to work, the match was terrible and they got them out of there almost as fast as possible. What else could this have been?

Overall Rating: D. There are some bright spots in here, but aside from the classic ladder match, this could have been any given house show. The opener was good, Bret vs. Yankem could have been a lot worse and the ladder match is awesome. Other than that, there is no reason to think of this as a special show in any way and that was very clear throughout. I know it’s a dark time for the company, but this was them putting out whatever they had because they had to do a show instead of trying to put on a great show. Terrible for the most part, with a few bright spots sprinkled in.

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Superstars
Date: January 26, 1997
Location: Cajun Dome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Attendance: 6,075
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jim Cornette

This is a random show that popped up on the WWE Vault but it seems to be football themed. In this case we have the Superstar Bowl, which is apparently an elimination tag match. That should make for an interesting show, with the bonus of the Royal Rumble taking place a week earlier. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at Shawn Michaels regaining the WWF Title at the Royal Rumble.

Opening sequence.

Commentary runs down the card.

Godwinns vs. Nation Of Domination vs. Doug Furnas/Philip LaFon vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog

This is the Superstars Bowl (meaning an elimination tag), Bulldog and Hart’s Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line, and Sunny is guest timekeeper. LaFon and Bulldog start things off with LaFon pulling him down into a kneebar, sending Bulldog straight to the rope. Bulldog pulls him out of the air but can’t gets the powerslam.

Furnas comes in to take Hart down but Hart is right back to crank on the leg. A slap brings in LaFon, which means Hart and Bulldog can stomp on Furnas as good heels should. Phineas tags himself in to suplex Hart onto LaFon but Crush breaks up the Slop Drop. A dropkick sends Phineas into a rollup to give LaFon the elimination at 3:53.

We take a break and come back with Bulldog clotheslining Faarooq so Furnas can get a quick two. A missed charge lets Furnas armdrag Crush and let’s go split screen so Hunter Hearst Helmsley (with his butler Curtis, better known as Mr. Hughes) can talk about his match tonight with Ahmed Johnson. They shouldn’t be in the same ring together, but there are proper showers and soap here so it can happen before their title match at In Your House.

Back in the ring, Furnas hurricanranas Hart down but gets his head kicked off with an enziguri for two. Bulldog comes in and throws Furnas into the corner, where Crush comes in to hammer Furnas down. A backbreaker drops Furnas and it’s back to Bulldog for the delayed vertical suplex. Bulldog picks him up again but Faarooq sneaks in with a chop block to give Furnas the fluke pin at 12:22. We cut to Honky Tonk Man trying to recruit Rocky Maivia and we take another break.

We come back with Furnas fighting out of a chinlock and go split screen so Ahmed Johnson can call the Intercontinental Title the “people’s title”. Cornette thanks Johnson for taking time away from his job as a UN interpreter (ha) and come back to Faarooq being punched out of the air (Cornette knew that was a bad idea). LaFon comes in to clean house until Crush belly to back suplexes him out of the corner. Furnas takes Crush out to the floor but Faarooq grabs the Dominator to pin LaFon at 19:06.

Rating: C+. It was perfectly acceptable, but the tag division was hardly in a good place at this point. Bulldog and Hart were good, but Furnas and LaFon just never connected. While they were definitely talented in the ring, they weren’t the kind of team who was going to become a big deal. There wasn’t really anything unique about the match either, though I can go with having something special for a big day.

We look at the controversial ending to the Royal Rumble (with Steve Austin slipping back in and winning), setting up the outstanding Final Four match at In Your House.

On Raw, Bret Hart went on a great rant against Vince McMahon about Steve Austin. Believe it or not, he doesn’t like Shawn Michaels either and since he can’t get an opportunity, he quits.

Later in the night, Austin says Hart hasn’t quit complaining since he got back. He should just go back to Canada because the only man he can beat is his wrinkled old man.

Also later in the night, Gorilla Monsoon set up the four way at Final Four. This brought out Austin to complain about the whole thing and threatened Monsoon as well. Hart returned and brawled with Austin, as was his custom.

The four in the match brawled to end the show.

Here is Hart in person for a chat. He doesn’t want to be remembered as a loser or a quitter but he hates Steve Austin. He’s looking forward to Final Four though because he can beat all three guys at once. This place is kind of like King Of The Hill and he’s almost got his hands on the prize at the top, but there are three people stomping on his fingers. They won’t stop him though, because he will be the WWF Champion for the fourth time. This was Hart trying to say “yeah I’m still my old self, forget that whining on Monday.”.

We look at Savio Vega turning on Ahmed Johnson and joining the Nation Of Domination. Naturally he wasn’t here earlier because of the taping schedule but that’s not something we talk about.

Ahmed Johnson vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Non-title and Curtis is here with Helmsley. Johnson shoves him down with ease to start and then hits a running shoulder. This allows us to do little more than have Johnson stand in one place, which is a good idea. Johnson clotheslines him down and hits a kick to the ribs, followed by an ax kick (with the far leg for some reason). Helmsley knocks him to the floor and we take a break as Goldust and Marlena are watching in the back.

We come back with Helmsley dropping a knee for two as frustration is setting in. Johnson manages a suplex and wins a slugout, which has Helmsley making a hand signal. That’s enough for Curtis to come in with a belt shot but Johnson sends Helmsley outside on the kickout. The spinebuster looks to set up the Pearl River Plunge but Curtis runs in for the DQ at 13:38.

Rating: C-. I was a huge Ahmed Johnson fan back in the day but my goodness that man was a special kind of terrible. He would make the most basic stuff look awkward and was usually at his best when he wasn’t doing much. That’s not exactly a great sign, and the ending didn’t make me want to see these two fight for the title again. It’s no wonder why Johnson got such a huge push, but it’s also no surprise that it really didn’t work for him in the end.

Post match Johnson Hulks Up to take out Curtis as Goldust runs in to brawl with Helmsley to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It was a nice look back at a time of transition in the WWF, but that doesn’t mean it was a particularly good show. The Superstars Bowl was a bit of a treat but the long Raw recap and the not exactly noteworthy main event didn’t help. I do like seeing a random episode from this time as it’s such a flashback and different from just putting up Raw, though a better show would be nice.

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We’re one day before Summerslam and that means this is going to be the big push towards the show. That could go in a variety of ways, though I’m not sure how much I’d expect from what was definitively the B show at this point. It’s not a great time for the company either, but there is some talent worth seeing. Let’s get to it.

Superstars
Date: August 17, 1996
Location: Yakima Sun Dome, Yakima, Washington
Attendance: 2,922
Commentators: Jim Ross, Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect

The opening recap looks at Ahmed Johnson needing surgery and having to vacate the Intercontinental Title.

Opening sequence, which is a country style theme (and sounds like it’s being sung by Michael Hayes).

Commentary runs down the card.

Undertaker vs. Who

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker (in what would be the last time for the original team, at least when it comes to a traditional entrance). Who jumps him to start and hammers away in the corner, earning himself a jumping clothesline. The Tombstone finishes fast at 1:08.

Ahmed Johnson, in a snazzy red robe, talks about how the mental pain is worse than the physical pain.

We look at Johnson’s recent success and how everything has stopped, with the Intercontinental Title being vacated. A tournament is starting next week on Raw, but it isn’t clear if or when Johnson will return to the ring. There will also be a mini battle royal for his previously won WWF Title shot.

It’s off to Slam Jam, with the big final push of Summerslam.

Jerry Lawler is ready to make Jake Roberts see a lot of doubles, just like when he’s drunk!

Roberts is ready to get revenge on Lawler.

Savio Vega/Freddie Joe Floyd vs. Uncle Zebekiah/Justin Hawk Bradshaw

This is fallout from Zebekiah and Bradshaw branding Vega. Zebekiah bails to the floor so Vega hammers on Bradshaw, with Floyd coming in for a double dropkick. Floyd kicks Bradshaw in the case for a quick two as the rapid tags continue. Bradshaw finally manages to kick Floyd out to the floor as commentary talks about the Summerslam Tag Team Title match. Zebekiah gets in a clothesline on the floor and it’s a double team in the corner to keep Floyd in trouble as we take a break.

We come back with Vega having to save Floyd but that’s not enough for the actual tag. Bradshaw grabs a Russian legsweep for two but a jumping back elbow gets Floyd out of trouble. Vega comes in to clean house, with a spinning kick to the face getting two on Zebekiah as everything breaks down. Zebekiah misses a branding iron shot to Vega and gets rolled up for the fast pin at 9:37.

Rating: C+. This is what you would get on Superstars around this point, as it was more about giving something to the lower level stars. Vega vs. Bradshaw might not be a top level feud but it is at least a story and something that got a few weeks to build. Floyd might not be a top level star, but he’s more than good in the ring. Zebekiah is fine as a second for Bradshaw, as long as you understand that he’s so banged up from a harsh career that he can’t do much in the ring.

Post match the brawl stays on with Floyd getting double teamed until Vega makes the save with the branding iron.

Video on Shawn Michaels vs. Vader, with Vader pinning Michaels at In Your House: International Incident. Michaels knows that he is in danger and wants the Kliq to support him more than ever.

Crush vs. Aldo Montoya

Clarence Mason is here with Crush. Montoya gets knocked down to start and the neck crank is already on. Crush thumbs him in the neck and the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker cuts off Montoya’s comeback attempt. The big clothesline sends Montoya outside and Crush powers him inside without much trouble. A shoulder breaker into the full nelson finishes for Crush at 3:11.

Rating: C. Crush is someone who got chance after chance and while it could have been worse, he never became the star that the company seemed to want him to be. Granted putting him in there with Mason wasn’t the best way to go, as Mason wasn’t going to make Crush feel important. For now though, not a terrible start for Crush’s singles run, but I’m not getting my hopes up.

Video on Undertaker vs. Mankind.

Mankind vs. Billy Two Eagles

Mankind hammers him down into the corner to start and shrugs off a boot to the face. A swinging neckbreaker (with Mankind pulling the hair of course), setting up the Mandible Claw for the fast win at 1:48.

Another Slam Jam looks at the Tag Team Title match, with the Smoking Gunns/Sunny thinking that the company is against them. The Bodydonnas just want the titles back.

The Stalker talks about wanting to hunt various people. The introduction called him Barry Windham, so why not just let him be that?

Sunny teases various limited material swimsuits for the Summerslam pre-show.

Steve Austin vs. Marc Mero

Sable is here with Mero, who knocks him into the corner to start. They go outside, where Austin yells a lot and kicks him in the ribs to take over. Back in and Mero takes him down into an armbar as Marlena and Goldust joins commentary. Goldust talks about being a zookeeper at Summerslam as Austin makes the comeback and knees Mero in the head. We take a break and come back with Austin holding a chinlock. Mero fights up and snaps off a headscissors as Mankind comes out to tell Sable (“Mommy”) that he’s been a naughty boy. Mero goes after him for the save and that’s a DQ at 9:43.

Rating: C+. The match was pretty good, which shouldn’t be a surprise given who was involved, but dang there was too much going on with the whole thing. The ending was a bit of a cheap way to prevent both of them from losing, but at least the match wasn’t boring. Just slow down a bit next time.

Post match the brawl is on until Undertaker comes out for the save, with Sable running away in terror to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Well, the show was designed to make me more interested in seeing Summerslam and that went well enough. At the same time, Summerslam 1996 is only so interesting of a show in the first place. It’s an absolute two match show and pretty much nothing more, with what we got on here not exactly being enough to carry it that much higher. The action here was fine, but it was very clear that Raw was the thing and had been for a very long time.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 29, 1996
Location: Stockton Civic Auditorium, Stockton, California
Attendance: 2,904
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the way to the next In Your House, which means we’ll be getting ready for the last stop on the Road To Wrestlemania. The big story continues to be Shawn Michaels’ quest for the WWF Title, though he seems like he’s going to have a stop over with the other Hart Brother on the way to face Bret for the title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening preview.

Opening sequence.

British Bulldog vs. Diesel

Jim Cornette is here with Bulldog. Diesel powers him around to start and hits a slam but Bulldog gets in a knockdown of his own. Bulldog wraps the leg around the post and cranks away (because this formula worked so well in their disaster of a pay per view match), including a half crab. Cue Yokozuna to ringside as we take a break.

We come back with Bulldog choking and then doing his weird double step stomps to the leg. Diesel gets sent outside where Yokozuna…throws him back in. Back in and Diesel boots him down but Cornette has the referee, leaving Yokozuna to drop a leg. Granted the leg hits Bulldog so it doesn’t exactly work out well but at least he was trying. Cornette freaks out as Diesel gets the pin at 9:38.

Rating: C+. It’s still not a great match, but what matters is that it wasn’t an all time disaster like their match back in October. Keeping it shorter and not having the match drag on forever certainly helped, though they did something similar with the leg work. Diesel needed the win though, as it’s not like Bulldog had much going on at the moment.

It’s off to the Slam Jam where Bret Hart, with a black eye, still wants Diesel in a steel cage match. We run down the rest of the In Your House car, including the newly added Duke Droese vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley.

Apparently WCW is threatening legal action over the Billionaire Ted skits. Therefore, here’s another one with Ted at a press conference where he won’t answer any questions about his business practices. This stuff is so beyond dumb and nothing but Vince McMahon whining about competition spending money.

Godwinns vs. Bodydonnas

This is Phineas’ debut and Hillbilly Jim and Sunny are here too. Henry runs Skip over to start but Zip comes in with a cheap shot to take him down. A double suplex drops Henry again and Sunny flirts with Jim, leaving Skip to miss a top rope splash. Phineas comes in and gets to clean house, with the Slop Drop finishing Zip at 2:17.

Post match Sunny runs away from…hillbilly things.

We look at Vader’s path of destruction in his rather short WWF career. This includes attacking Gorilla Monsoon last week, which was quite the moment. Of note: McMahon actually uses the term “stable mate” to describe Yokozuna and Vader.

Clarence Mason and Jim Cornette think the suspension is TOTALLY UNFAIR and there is an injunction against the suspension.

You can send in Get Well Soon letters to Monsoon. And I’m sure this won’t be used to restock the WWF’s mailing list.

Vince McMahon brings out the new acting President of the World Wrestling Federation: RODDY PIPER! The fans seem to approve, with Piper asking if he’s Vince’s boss. Piper lists off some of his accomplishments in the 80s but he knows that the wrestlers today are faster and stronger. The difference though is they’re a little confused, with Piper being here to fix things.

There will be no government shutdown when he is President. He pulls out some papers, which contain rules. Vince: “You’ve never lived by rules in your life!” Piper: “Good point!” And he puts the papers back in his pocket. He promises the fans are in good hands, gives Vince an airplane spin, and wraps it up. I’m not sure I have any idea what Piper was saying, but the GOOD POINT part was funny.

Mankind, with his deformed ear, wants us to have a nice day.

Yokozuna vs. Shawn Michaels

Owen Hart and Jim Cornette are here with Yokozuna. Michaels realizes that locking up with him is a really bad idea so he goes with right hands to knock Yokozuna outside. The villains have a meeting on the floor and we take an early break. We come back with Michaels’ top rope moonsault press getting two but Yokozuna whips him hard into the corner.

That sends Michaels crashing out to the floor, where Hart gets in a posting like a good villain should. Back in and we hit the nerve hold (Yokozuna certainly had his favorites) and we take another break. We come back with Michaels avoiding the legdrop but missing a top rope splash. Michaels slugs away, only to get driven into the corner. Hart tries to come in but kicks Yokozuna down by mistake. The superkick gives Michaels the pin at 11:42.

Rating: C. As usual, you know what you’re going to get with Yokozuna at this point and that’s not a good thing. He’s just so big and there is very little that anyone can do against him. Even Michaels was limited here, with the interference into the superkick being about as good as it was going to get. At least Michaels won by pinfall, as it makes him look like he could beat almost anyone. Or at least really big people who could barely move, which has little to do with either Hart brother, but it’s better than nothing.

Post match the Bulldog has to play peacemaker between Yokozuna and Hart. Michaels is caught 4-1 but Diesel runs in for the save. Cornette says his men are perfectly fine and issues the challenge for a tag match next week. Michaels and Diesel seem in to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The Vader stuff is interesting, mainly because you can see what kind of a monster he really is, but at the same time he’s not going to be around for the time being. You also have Roddy Piper around, and that’s only going to be….I have no idea actually (much like whatever he said). The wrestling was good enough, but this is all about getting to Wrestlemania and you can see some pieces coming together, which is exciting enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 15, 1996
Location: Bob Carpenter Center, Newark, Delaware
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before the Royal Rumble and last week’s show might as well have been subtitled “Shawn Michaels Is Going To Win”. They aren’t really bothering to hide that this is a Rumble with one possible winner, so the question is more how Michaels is going to do it. Other than that, we’ve got Undertaker ready to challenge Bret Hart for the WWF Title and he has quite a big match of his own. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the tribute to Martin Luther King Jr. for his namesake day.

Opening preview.

Opening sequence.

Owen Hart vs. Marty Jannetty

Jim Cornette is here with Hart. Feeling out process to start with Jannetty’s front facelock not lasting long. Instead Jannetty hits a running clothesline for two and slaps on the chinlock. That’s broken up rather quickly and Hart stomps away, only for Jannetty to come back with a spinning middle rope crossbody.

This time it’s Hart grabbing his own chinlock but it’s too early for the Sharpshooter. Hart suplexes him down and we take a break, coming back with Jannetty managing a faceplant. A middle rope flipping faceplant and a powerslam have Hart in more trouble, followed by a clothesline out to the floor. Back in and Hart slips behind him into a rollup for the fast pin at 9:12.

Rating: B-. As usual, taking two talented wrestlers and letting them do their thing for a few minutes works out well. Jannetty might have been an all time screwup, but he could work well in the ring with just about anyone. Hart was starting to come into his own as a singles star here and it’s no surprise that this worked.

We’re off to the Slam Jam, featuring the announcement of the Free For All show, which will feature a match for the #30 spot in the Royal Rumble, with the loser getting the #1 spot. The names involved will be the ones who draw blanks in the Royal Rumble drawing, so nice job of keeping a mystery. As for the Rumble itself, Diesel is ready to win and we get the same Vader workout video. The Jeff Jarrett vs. Ahmed Johnson match gets a quick look too.

Ringmaster vs. Matt Hardy

Non-title and Ted DiBiase is in (the debuting) Ringmaster’s corner. Ringmaster (that name is already getting annoying) hammers away to start and stomps away in the corner. Some knee drops give Ringmaster two and a gordbuster gets the same. Hardy (With HV on his tights, either for High Voltage or perhaps….HARDY VERSION?) gets choked on the ropes and the Million Dollar Dream finishes for Ringmaster at 4:35.

Rating: C. There is something so fascinating about an all time star making his debut and having such a basic match which showed absolutely nothing. Throw in the fact that he was in there against a future legend in his own right and it’s quite the historical curiosity. To say Austin would get better is an understatement, but this was a good start.

Video on Shawn Michaels, who is returning at the Royal Rumble, including his recent health issues.

Smoking Gunns vs. Spiders

Non-title and we’re actually joined in progress with Billy getting two off a small package. Bart comes in with some dropkicks and the Sidewinder finishes at 1:02 shown.

It’s off to Billionaire Ted’s Wrasslin War Room, where Ted is mad that he can’t buy the WWF.

Here is Goldust for a chat, with Vince McMahon accusing him of preying on homophobia. Goldust: “Mr. television announcer, is that another microphone in your pocket or are you just excited to see me?” He promises to make Ramon and everyone else remember his name.

Ramon arrives (with about twenty minutes left in the show) and is looking for Goldust.

Undertaker vs. Isaac Yankem DDS

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker. They stare each other down to start (like long lost…never mind) and Undertaker takes over with a slam. Yankem scores with a clothesline out of the corner but has to slip out of a Tombstone. They go outside with Undertaker hammering away and getting in a posting, only for Lawler to go after the remains of the urn. Undertaker isn’t having that and chases Lawler off but Yankem drives him into the post.

We take a break and come back with Undertaker fighting out of a half crab. A bearhug doesn’t last long either as Undertaker fights out and does the situp. Yankem knocks him down again and tries his own Tombstone (like that could ever work), which is reversed into the real thing to give Undertaker the pin at 8:35.

Rating: C. This is one of those things where you could see the idea on paper, just because it was so rare to find someone of Undertaker’s size who could move like Yankem. The problem though was that again, Yankem was a wrestling dentist and that was only going to get him so far. The key was finding out how to use the talent, which is one of the keys to good booking. Once they figured that out, it was off to the races. Eventually.

Goldust is ready to face Bret Hart next week but gets jumped by Razor Ramon. The brawl is on and Goldust hits him low to escape.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Ramon jumps Goldust again and chases him outside. They brawl in the snow until Goldust rams him into a truck and gets in his car to escape and end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is definitely one of those shows where the historical impact wouldn’t become apparent for a good while, but dang it’s fascinating to see the future right there in front of your eyes. You have Austin’s in-ring debut and the first battle of the Brothers Of Destruction. That’s a heck of a Raw and while it would mean more later, it winds up being a completely decent show on its own, with the Michaels announcement being a needed boost.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 24, 1996
Location: Brown County Expo, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 4,660
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with the King Of The Ring and that means King Austin, who gave what would wind up being one of the most important promos in wrestling history. Other than that, Shawn Michaels has vanquished the British Bulldog and needs someone else to come after him for the WWF Title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Ahmed Johnson vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Johnson’s newly won Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line. Johnson works on the arm to start and shoulders Helmsley down. A headlock grinds Helmsley down and a clothesline drops him even harder. Helmsley avoids a charge though and Johnson is sent outside, where he gets sent into the steps. Johnson gets posted and then ax handled in the back as we go split screen to Goldust and Marlena. Goldust is mad about losing his title and he’s ready to bury Undertaker in his own casket. Helmsley’s chinlock goes on and we take a break.

We come back with Johnson fighting out of the corner but missing a charge into a different corner. Johnson pulls him out of the air for an atomic drop, setting up the gorilla press for two. Helmsley backdrops his way out of a Pearl River Plunge attempt and they both get a breather. Back up and Helmsley tries a backdrop, which is reversed into a Pearl River Plunge to retain the title at 13:04.

Rating: C. Johnson was someone who was at his best when he was able to go out there and showcase his incredible athleticism and that wasn’t really the case here. At the same time, it was all about Johnson getting over as a force as the new champion and this worked well enough, though having it be a non-title match doesn’t make a ton of sense.

Post match Johnson says he is proud to be the first African American Intercontinental Champion (geez that took awhile) and is ready to beat up Goldust again.

Bodydonnas vs. Brooklyn Brawler/Jerry Fox

The Bodydonnas debut Kloudy, their new manager, who is rather large and tattooed. Sunny, on commentary, is not pleased in the slightest. Zip hiptosses and slams the Brawler to start but Brawler is back up with a headlock. Skip comes in for a running neckbreaker to Fox, who gets taken into the wrong corner. Zip’s gutwrench powerbomb gets two and a top rope seated senton finishes at 3:53.

Rating: C. Good enough here, as the idea behind Kloudy is pretty clear right from the start. Unfortunately the other thing that is obvious is how one note that the whole thing is and I can’t imagine it going well. The team was only so good in the first place and having Kloudy going after Sunny (I’m sure you get the HILARIOUS play on words) is only going to get them so far.

Post match Kloudy chases Sunny off.

We look at the history of Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty.

Kloudy chases Lawler off too.

Vader/Owen Hart/Davey Boy Smith vs. Aldo Montoya/Savio Vega/Barry Horowitz

Jim Cornette and Diana Smith are here with the villains. Horowitz hiptosses Hart to start and it’s quickly off to Vega vs. Bulldog. Vega takes him over with an armdrag but Vader comes in to hammer away. A nice spinning kick to the face drops Vader and it’s off to Montoya for some dropkicks. Hart kicks him in the head though and Vader comes back in for a chokeslam. The Sharpshooter makes Montoya tap at 4:20.

Rating: C+. Pretty much a squash here, with Vega’s kick to the face being a highlight for the losing side. I do often wonder how these people feel in kayfabe when they find out they’re teaming with Horowitz. Montoya isn’t great in the first place and Vega is just ok, so they’re already in trouble and then they have Horowitz as a partner. That can’t be the most encouraging feeling.

Here is Brian Pillman on crutches for a chat. Pillman talks to Vince, saying he doesn’t need to get in the ring to make an impact.

Undertaker vs. Steve Austin

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker and this is a big deal for the new King. Undertaker slugs away to start and of course that’s fine with Austin, who punches right back. Austin kicks him in the face but gets dropped as Lawler is going after Bearer, which can’t be a good idea. The fight heads outside, with Austin being sent into various steel objects.

They get back in and Austin is knocked to the floor again, only to get back inside for another shot to the face. Austin gets a whip into the corner but charges into a boot as we take a break. We come back with Undertaker hitting Old School but Austin gets smart by kicking at the leg. Austin wraps it around the post and the middle rope elbow gets two.

We go old school with a spinning toehold to keep Undertaker down as Goldust and Marlena come to ringside. Undertaker fights up but a chop block takes him right back down again as we take another break. We come back again with Undertaker missing a running clothesline but hitting a chokeslam. The Tombstone is loaded up but Goldust throws something in Undertaker’s eyes for the DQ at 15:34.

Rating: B-. This was a rare good match between the two of them, with Austin working on the leg, though much like the recent Undertaker vs. Bulldog match, it felt more like we were waiting around for the screwiness. That’s not the best feeling and while it’s nice to see Austin getting in the ring with a big name, having him beat a big name would have been better. Still though, I’ll take a nice match which gets some time.

Post match Austin beats on Undertaker, who reverses to knock Austin outside. Bearer loads up the urn but is hesitant to hand it to Undertaker. Lawler wants Bearer to explain why he cost Undertaker last night against Mankind (by hitting Undertaker with the urn), but Undertaker chases him off to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. With King Of The Ring out of the way, it’s time to reset things a bit with Austin and Johnson as some bigger names. That’s not a bad way to go, but seeing Undertaker vs. Goldust isn’t exactly inspiring. They’re still in the weak summer period, but at least they have something to build on after the pay per view. Just do something interesting and get Michaels a better challenger.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 3, 1996
Location: Cumberland County Memorial Auditorium, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on King Of The Ring and there is a good chance that we’ll get some matches in the tournament either this week or sooner. Other than that, WWF Champion Shawn Michaels is still dealing with the British Bulldog, who Michaels couldn’t beat last month at In Your House. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Goldust giving Ahmed Johnson mouth to mouth resuscitation, which was received about as well as expected. Then Goldust posed wearing only his robe and the Intercontinental Title as he taunted Johnson.

Opening sequence.

King Of The Ring First Round: Steve Austin vs. Bob Holly

Austin backs him into the corner to start before grabbing a headlock. Holly’s hammerlock is broken up and Austin takes him down by the leg. Back up and Holly takes him into the corner to hammer away, earning himself a nasty backbreaker. A middle rope elbow gives Austin two and we’re off to the chinlock. We take a break and come back with Holly still in the chinlock but he fights up to send Austin into some buckles. That doesn’t get him anywhere though as Austin is right back with the Million Dollar Dream for the win to advance at 12:15.

Rating: C. Yeah this wasn’t much, but there was no reason to believe that Austin was going to lose to Holly. At the end of the day, Austin might not be the obvious next big thing here, but he’s certainly bigger than Holly at the moment. He’s going to need something besides the Million Dollar Dream though.

Jerry Lawler mocks Ultimate Warrior’s comic book and shows a (nice) drawing he’s made of his own comic book cover, featuring THE ULTIMATE LOSER.

Mankind vs. Barry Horowitz

Mankind goes right at him to start but gets caught with a quick dropkick. Mankind misses a charge into the corner though and gets rolled up, only to hammer Horowitz down. The running Tree of Woe elbow hits Horowitz and we go outside…to take a break? We come back with Mankind grabbing the Mandible Claw for the win at 6:54.

Rating: C-. Mankind vs. Barry Horowitz does not need a break, but for some reason the match got that much time. Mankind was still new at this point but he had hit the ground running, already tormenting the Undertaker. Taking this long to beat Horowitz didn’t help, but at least it was fairly dominant.

Post match Mankind talks about wanting to hurt the Undertaker. Of all the things he has lost, he thinks he misses his mind the most.

We look at Shawn Michaels vs. British Bulldog going to a double pin at Beware Of Dog.

We look at Ahmed Johnson losing his mind of having Goldust kiss him last week.

Goldust, still with just the belt covering him, says he was saving Johnson’s life last week. They’re fighting at King Of The Ring and Johnson will never forget Goldust’s name.

Godwinns vs. Tekno Team 2000

Sunny is on commentary and we get a promo from the* Bodydonnas, who are looking for a new manager. We even get an address for people to send in applications. Travis works on Henry’s head to start before it’s off to Phineas, who keeps looking at Sunny. We actually get a handshake between Phineas and Troy, with the latter pulling him into the corner to take over. Travis’ standing moonsault gets two but Phineas gets up and brings Henry back in. House is quickly cleaned and the Slop Drop finishes for Henry at 6:03.

Rating: D+. For the life of me I still don’t know what Tekno Team 2000 was supposed to be but they didn’t work. The Godwinns weren’t much better, as the tag division was moving in a different direction and they were still doing their goofy stuff. That being said, Sunny was the focal point here and that often works, as she had so much star power and you couldn’t avoid it.

We look at Clarence Mason claiming to have been injured by Gorilla Monsoon, which is total nonsense of course.

King Of The Ring First Round: Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Jake Roberts

Helmsley’s headlock takes Roberts down to start and we get a quick curtsy. Back up and Roberts hiptosses him into a knee lift, with Helmsley bailing out to the floor. Roberts is smart enough to wait inside, where he takes Helmsley down by the arm. The armbar goes on for a bit until a frustrated Helmsley rolls outside again.

We take a break and come back with Helmsley sending him into the corner. Helmsley drops a knee for two as commentary talks about Warrior’s comic book. More stomping sets up a chinlock but Roberts jawbreaks his way to freedom. The threat of a DDT is broken up with a ram into the corner and we take another break. We come back again with Roberts hitting the DDT for the pin at 16:15.

Rating: C+. It’s a bit weird to see Helmsley losing like this, but at the same time the DDT was up there as an all time devastating finisher. The fans reacted to it rather well and Roberts getting a Cinderella run in the tournament isn’t a bad idea. Other than that, the match was probably the best thing on the show, which is rather telling.

Overall Rating: C-. The tournament needs to get going, because there is not much going on with the show otherwise. Michaels vs. Bulldog isn’t interesting and without Undertaker here to brawl with him, Mankind is just sort of weird. That’s pretty much the show at this point, and this show didn’t make me want to see what they have going on at the moment.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 23, 1996
Location: Ice Palace, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 2,925
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The Royal Rumble is still coming up and other than the show’s namesake match, we also have Sid defending the WWF Title against Shawn Michaels in a rematch from the Survivor Series. The show is going to need a few more matches than that and we might find some of them out here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Intercontinental Title: Marc Mero vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Helmsley is defending and can lose the title by DQ or countout. Goldust and Marlena are watching from the crowd as Mero slugs away to start. Mero chases Jerry Lawler (who helped beat him down last week) to the back before snapping off a Japanese armdrag to Helmsley. Back up and Helmsley sends him outside in a big crash for a ram into the steps.

Mero comes back in with a sunset flip for two and we take a break. We come back with Helmsley grabbing a delayed vertical suplex and dropping the knee for two. Mero is back with a running knee lift and a Samoan drop. The Merosault misses though and the Pedigree retains the title at 9:30.

Rating: C+. As usual, it helps to have a nice match with two people who know what they’re doing in the ring. They got a bit of time as well and the story is tied together well enough after the last few weeks. Helmsley is getting a nice rub out of this as well and that’s the big idea of the whole thing.

Post match Mero has to be held back from going after Helmsley again. Helmsley grabs the mic and says this must mean he’s facing Goldust at the Royal Rumble. He promises to show Goldust what it’s like to be a real man and Marlena will see what it’s like to be WITH a real man. That’s enough for Goldust to chase Helmsley off.

We look back at Billy Gunn injuring his neck against Bart Gunn last week. Over the weekend, Bart Gunn called in to Livewire to talk about how sorry he was for what happened.

Rocky Maivia vs. Salvatore Sincere

Sunny (impressed with Maivia) is on commentary and Jim Cornette is here with Sincere. Maivia gets shouldered down and nips right back up to hammer away. Sincere’s side slam gets two and Sunny is rather concerned about Maivia. That doesn’t last long as Maivia fights up, hits a clothesline, and grabs the shoulderbreaker for the pin at 5:47. Sunny is VERY pleased.

Rating: C. Sunny was the star of this match as she had the charisma turned up to about an eleven. Her looks helped get her over but she was a star because she knew how to act in front of a camera. That was on full display here, with the match itself being pretty much nothing more than a way to get Sunny involved.

Here is Sid for a chat (with his always cool SID pyro) as Shawn Michaels is watching from the back. With his music playing throughout, Sid brags about his recent success and promises to keep the title.

Cibernetico/Pierroth vs. New Rockers

Mil Mascaras is on Spanish commentary as Pierroth takes Cassidy down by the arm to start. Back up and Pierroth runs him over and hits a running dropkick. Cibernetico comes in to take Jannetty down but Cassidy gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take over. A basement dropkick to the back of the head has Cibernetico in more trouble and we take a break. We come back with Cibernetico’s sunset flip getting two and he raises his boots to cut Cassidy off. Pierroth comes back in for a powerbomb and Cibernetico dives onto Cassidy. A top rope splash gives Pierroth the pin at 7:23.

Rating: C+. Well they were different, but there is a reason that this AAA crossover isn’t exactly well remembered. There’s just nothing here that makes me care about them, as they’re doing some cool moves but that’s about it. Give me a reason to get behind them or go against them and it would be that much better.

Post match Mascaras talks about being excited for the Royal Rumble. Vince: “Another award winning interview by JR.”

Various wrestlers are in the Royal Rumble.

Bret Hart vs. Razor Ramon

Honky Tonk Man is on commentary due to whatever reason. Hart works on the arm to start as Honky Tonk Man talks about looking for his new protege. Ramon fights back and stomps away, followed by a lifting choke. The reverse chinlock goes on, followed by a weird looking clothesline to the back of the head to put Hart on the floor. Hart wins a slugout on the floor and posts him as we take a break. We come back with the middle rope elbow setting up the Sharpshooter for the submission at 9:37.

Rating: C. Nothing to see here, which is the case with Ramon over and over. There is only so much you can get out of something like he and Diesel, because the two of them still feel like they’re cosplays of famous stars. Hart is someone who can do a lot, but even he is limited with this situation with the focus being on the Honky Tonk Man for a long stretch.

Shawn Michaels still isn’t impressed and is coming for the WWF Title.

Overall Rating: C. Gah the Royal Rumble cannot get here soon enough as this was another mediocre, at best, show. They’re trying whatever they can do at this point and almost nothing is clicking. The main event scene is working well enough, but that’s nowhere near enough to carry a one hour show. More weak stuff here, and that’s going to need to change.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 31, 1995
Location: Louisville Gardens, Louisville, Kentucky
Attendance: 4,181
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

We’re still on the way to Summerslam and unfortunately it seems that means King Mabel is coming after Diesel and the WWF Title. There is nothing good that can possibly come from that but it’s what we’re getting due to reasons of it’s 1995. Shawn Michaels continues to feel like the biggest star in the company, but Bret Hart got to remind us of how good he was last week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at Razor Ramon and Savio Vega getting ready to challenge for the Tag Team Titles.

King Mabel vs. John Barberry

Sir Mo is here too and I feel for the people who have to carry Mabel and the throne to the ring. Mabel runs him over to start as you would expect and the beating is on to start. They actually go outside with Barberry getting crushes again. Back in and Barberry avoids a legdrop and hits a dropkick but gets splashed in the corner. The belly to belly suplex finishes for Mabel at 3:13.

Rating: D+. Hey did you know that Mabel is really big? I’m not sure if they made that clear enough, because it’s all that Mabel had at this point. Literally, what else is there that is supposed to get my attention about him? This was another dull squash as we continue the horrible march towards Summerslam.

Post match Mabel wants to be the WWF Champion.

Fatu is still trying to make a difference.

We look back at Jerry Lawler and Shawn Michaels arguing last week.

Lawler and Michaels have a face to face meeting in the back, with Lawler saying fans want to see Sid beat Michaels up at Summerslam. Michaels thinks that sounds like a challenge and some poking ensues, seemingly setting up a match.

Goldust is still coming.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Bob Cook

Bigelow knocks Cook to the floor to start and sends him flying for a bonus. Cook actually gets in a shot, only to be suplexed down for his efforts. The chinlock goes on as we hear something about America Online. Bigelow slams him down and drops the top rope headbutt for the pin at 3:20.

Rating: C. Nothing much to see here, though it really is amazing to see how Bigelow had this kind of a career resurgence in 1995. He headlined Wrestlemania and King Of The Ring but then just fell away shortly thereafter. Nothing to see here as usual, save for the always good looking headbutt.

We go to the Report Card, where Dean Douglas agrees that Bam Bam Bigelow is indeed a beast, who looks like a walrus. He gets an F based on looks alone.

Jim Cornette talks about cars to suggest that Owen Hart and Yokozuna will retain the Tag Team Titles.

Skip vs. Major Yates

Sunny is here with Skip and insults the crowd before the match. Skip takes him into the corner to start and fires off some forearms. Yates comes back with a wristlock but gets hit in the face for his efforts. A sunset flip gives Yates two so Skip gives him a running clothesline. Skip hits a top rope superplex for the pin (and some pushups) at 2:20.

We go to the Summerslam Insider, focusing on Mabel vs. Diesel, with the latter saying he gets respect. He’ll earn respect from Mabel at Summerslam. Other than that, Jerry Lawler and Isaac Yankem look at a patient’s teeth (or a camera) and find what they see as disgusting as Bret Hart. Finally, Shawn Michaels is ready for Sid. Uh, yeah.

Next week, Diesel vs. Sir Mo. Sweet goodness somebody get my medicine.

Merchandise shill.

Tag Team Titles: Owen Hart/Yokozuna vs. Savio Vega/Razor Ramon

Hart and Yokozuna, with Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji, are defending. Vega and Hart start things off with Vega taking him into the corner to chop away. They trade wrist cranks and chops before it’s off to Ramon for an arm twist of his own. Hart gets knocked to the floor and holds his jaw as we take a break.

We come back with Hart getting beaten up some more but getting knocked over to the corner for the tag to Yokozuna. Ramon gets shoved down off to Vega, who manages to knock Yokozuna outside. Vega is smart enough to avoid being taken into the corner before it’s off to Hart for a spinwheel kick. Yokozuna drops the big leg and Vega is in trouble in a hurry. The nerve hold goes on and we take a break.

We come back with Vega making the tag and Ramon comes in with a middle rope bulldog. Everything breaks down and a double clothesline drops Yokozuna. The Razor’s Edge hits Hart for the pin and the titles at 15:49. And never mind as Hart wasn’t legal so the match has to restart. The match restarts but Cornette is ejected for arguing too much.

Ramon hammers at Yokozuna and throws Hart onto him for a bonus. Vega comes in for a rollup on Hart and we take a third break. We come back again with Yokozuna missing a big elbow and Ramon crotching Hart on top. Hart reverses the belly to back superplex into a crossbody for two and they’re both down. Ramon gets back up…and we’re out of time at 21:49 with the match still going. Well that’s certainly an ending. More on this next week I’d assume.

Rating: C+. Well it certainly wasn’t short. I’m not sure I’d call it good, but just seeing a match get this much time was nice to see. Ramon and Vega were a fine enough team and maybe even a better fit than Ramon and the 1-2-3 Kid, at least in the ring. Other than that, you had your usual sluggish Yokozuna match, but thankfully the other three were doing most of the work.

Overall Rating: C. The main event was the big focal point here, but the problem is that we’re closing in on Summerslam, meaning King Mabel is going to be around that much more. For the life of me I do not get what Vince McMahon saw in him other than he’s a big guy, but that’s what we’re getting at the moment. Just move on from it already and find anyone else, because it almost can’t be worse.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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