Living Dangerously 2000
Date: March 12, 2000
Location: O’Neil Center, Danbury, Connecticut
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Cyrus

The main story here is that the TV Title is vacant. Why is it vacant you ask? That would be because no one holds it at the moment. Tonight is about getting it some tender loving care. We’re trying to find someone that will curl up with it and give it the affection that it deserves.  For the less creepy version, RVD broke his leg/ankle so we’re having a TV Title tournament here. Other than that, this is the scaffold show with New Jack and Grimes, so expect a decent sized rant on that. Let’s get to it.

Sinister Minister (Abyss’ former manager) talks about the seven deadly sins of ECW. There’s a great long joke in there but I’ll spare you from it. Oh I forgot there’s a new massive heel stable: the Network, which is more or less a parody of TNN whining at Heyman over what they want. One funny line here is him getting to Wrath and says been there and done that (he managed a guy named Wrath in WCW. It didn’t go well.)

We hear Joey warming up the crowd and telling them to cheer. I know everyone does it, but come on now. Gertner says a few decent jokes but here’s Cyrus. He says excuse me a lot. Someone sue Vickie for trademark infringement. Are we ever going to get like, a fight between these two? Gertner just stands there and takes it of course like an idiot. Every time they say TNN I expect them to say TNA. Actually Gertner goes after him but Cyrus winds up hitting him when he’s not looking. Joey makes the save which is just odd.

Hit the theme song.

And here’s Steve Corino dressed like a cowboy. While he’s talking the audio messes up and we hear part of a Lou E. Dangerously promo. Paul…come on. Corino runs the fans down and in particular Sandman’s wife who is in the front row. Apparently she’s more of a man chase than Missy Hyatt and for you WCW fans, you get the idea.

 

Allegedly the Raven thing wasn’t an angle according to Corino. Dang his wife isn’t that attractive. She slaps him and he throws her in the ring. That girl wasn’t afraid to mix it up. There’s a table in the corner which I’m sure someone will go through. Sandman comes in to save her. And he gets a piledriver. His wife is gored through the table.

 

Not that we see it or anything but she’s standing in front of it, the camera jumps to the crowd, and we hear it being broken and they Rhyno is on her and the table is broken. The production values here are awful. Sandman gets his wife out of the ring and is likely going with her to the hospital.

 

This of course means he’s out of his tournament match, which is another bait and switch by Heyman but whatever. Corino now calls out Dusty Rhodes of all people. Oh that’s right they’re feuding. Also pay no attention to Dusty being everything ECW was supposed to be against.

Steve Corino vs. Dusty Rhodes

Should be noted the bell hasn’t rung yet and we’re 20 minutes into the PPV. This is a bullrope match too and it’s the pinning version thank goodness. There’s the bell at 20:40 of the PPV. Apparently Corino and Jack Victory beat up this referee at a house show. Dusty hits Corino with the cowbell. Know what I think we need now? NEEDS MORE COWBELL! Sorry I had to do that at least once.

 

And we’re already in the crowd. Steve is bleeding. I know he’s old school, but dang he could give Flair a run for his money in bleeding. Victory helps and it’s all about the cowbell. Is this a Christopher Walken special or something? This has been more in the crowd than in the ring of course. Dusty is bleeding now. Corino bites the cut over Dusty’s eye which I think is bleeding barbecue sauce instead of blood. And now it’s all about the blood.

 

Also, WHO CAME UP WITH THE STUPID COWBELL IDEA? I know it’s Dusty’s signature thing, but man I can’t stand this thing. Dusty is dominating by the way. Yeah the old guy that is in his mid fifties and hasn’t been a regular competitor in about ten years is beating a guy that is being groomed to be the top heel in the company.

 

Sure why not. Both guys have bells now. The referee helps Dusty tape a cowbell to the top of Corino’s head. And there’s a chair to the bell to the head. A Bionic Elbow ends it. Yes, the fat man goes over. I hate this company.

Rating: D. This was just stupid. Seriously, why is Dusty going over here? I know Corino isn’t as great as he’s made out to be, but there is ZERO justification here other than Dusty’s ego or position in the past or whatever. Why in the world would he need this win for a run in the company of all of four months? Just a bad match too with far too much cowbell (screw you Walken).

Sandman won’t be in the tournament tonight. Shocking.

Guido says he’ll win the title tonight.

Dangerous Alliance vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill

The Alliance is CW Anderson and Bill Willes. Yeah I don’t know the second guy either. The announcer looks like a mean gerbil apparently. Lou E. Dangerously can do a great Heyman impression but that’s about it. He says…nothing yet since the people are all booing him. Apparently the PPV is named after him. Can we get on with this? The fans won’t shut up to let him do his thing.

 

He does it and I don’t care at all. The Dangerous Alliance thing was at least a good idea. Elektra was hot if nothing else and Roadkill was always a funny gimmick for some reason. The Alliance is supposed to be a throwback to the original Dangerous Alliance back in 91-92 which had perhaps more pure talent than any other stable ever, and that’s including the Horsemen at their best. This Billy guy is worthless. He’s supposed to be the Bobby Eaton guy of this team? That’s very funny.

 

Also the non Alliance team has become face since the last show somehow. Anderson works on Doring’s arm so at least he’s got that part of the gimmick down. Anderson is an interesting guy and not bad in the ring. This Billy guy simply isn’t. Doring hits the Stroke but it’s called the G-Spot Sweet here. Oh dear. It all breaks down of course and the heels are in trouble.

 

Willes takes a Lancaster Lariat of Lust. I can’t make these names up. Roadkill goes up for his top rope splash but Elektra turns heel and crotches him, allowing Anderson to hit the spinebuster for the pin as Elektra joins them.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure why but I liked this. They kept this WAY reeled in and it worked quite well. It’s a basic story and it came off well. Maybe it’s just a basic wrestling match happening and my mind being blown by that. Maybe Elektra’s hips did that. I’m not sure, but this was fine.

The Impact Players promise to get their tag belts back. Dang Dawn was hot.

Simon Diamond vs. Kid Kash

Seriously, a gimmick based on Kid Rock? Could we not get Billy Joel or Englebert Humperdink? And here’s Mike Awesome. No one gets why, but here he is. Oh and he and Raven are the tag champions now to go with the world title. He actually says get out of the ring or die. Diamond and company bail, leaving us with this.

Kid Kash vs. Mike Awesome

Sure why not. Kash kicks out of the splash early. It’s all Mike here as you wouldn’t expect. Shouldn’t Kash get in at least an early flurry? Ah there we go. Kash could do high spots if nothing else. For some reason I liked him when I was 12. It was a very strange time.

 

Kash hits a modified Pedigree on Awesome’s manager but gets knocked the heck out by Awesome. Kash hits a rana which of course DOES NOTHING because that move is worthless and gets knocked out again. And there’s your table. Powerbomb through it in 3, 2, 1…yeah there it is. Awesome wins of course.

Rating: D. Well Awesome lives up to his name and Kash gets destroyed. Was there a reason to not have the original match or am I just missing something? Apparently this was a world title match too. Pay no attention to the fact that we’re not told this until the very end and by that I mean when they say he’s still champion but whatever.

Post match Jazz comes out to help Kash but Jado and Gedo, two guys from Japan come out with Diamond to beat up Jazz. Here’s Nova and Chetti for the save and of course it’s an impromptu match!

Jado/Gedo vs. Nova/Chris Chetti

I’ve heard incredibly mixed reviews on Jado and Gedo but I think I’ve seen one match of theirs and it was a 6 man. We hear about how great Gedo is and he’s got a decent resume actually with wins over Jericho, Benoit and Malenko. Joey: Nova and Chetti have been together as a team now for a year minus the six months Chetti was out with a back injury.

 

I think that’s grounds for just saying they’ve been together for awhile. They tag with other people though but it’s all good. The Japanese guys like to mock opponents apparently. Joey can you freaking say who is who? I think Gedo is in the ring but I’m not sure. This show has been such a train wreck I’m not sure. Ah never mind that’s Jado. Gedo has a shirt on. Got it.

 

Nova gets a NICE superkick to the throat of Jado. That looked great and sounded great too. Chetti tries one and does quite well too. His only missed by six inches or so. Cyrus doesn’t know the referee’s name which means nothing at all but I need to fill in some space here. The Tidal Wave hits Gedo to end it. It’s a combination splash and leg drop but both guys jump from the same rope. It looked pretty cool.

Rating: D+. This was just a mess. It wasn’t bad or anything, but it was just a total mess. I know I said that already but it’s the only way to put it. Why are the Japanese guys here? Why did Nova and Chetti pick this time to run down? How was a contract agreed to and sanctioned so fast? Yes I know I’m nitpicking but dang man. That’s two in a row with nothing but random match to explain it. That’s not good.

Dangerously talks about doing well tonight. Elektra is REALLY, REALLY bad at talking. Good grief SHUT UP ALREADY!

TV Title Tournament Semi–Finals: Little Guido vs. Super Crazy

Hey look: another cruiserweight match but this time there’s something close to meaning! The winner fights Rhyno for the title in the main event. The Network doesn’t like Crazy apparently. Crazy hits a great moonsault to the floor. Again this match is just all over the place and going so fast you can’t tell if anything is working or not.

 

We’re told that Heenan put vodka in his water cup. That explains a lot. Guido hooks a Fujiwara Armbar on Crazy on the floor to take over. See what I mean? That was decent, but it came and went so fast that it’s hard to tell if it was good or not. And there’s a chair. Wow we went awhile without many weapons tonight. Crazy gets the ten punches in Spanish and then does it again to Big Sal.

 

You have to give the ECW fans this: they were well rehearsed. During this fight for a belt we get a fight over a belt. See how low I have to sink for jokes here? Guido misses an elbow and goes through a table. A brainbuster and a moonsault gives us our finals.

Rating: C. So? That’s all I can say here. So freaking what? This match or a combination of these two and Tajiri has been on every show for like 8 months now. SO? I mean seriously, why in the world should I care? They had a decent match and then they’ll likely have more later. It’s entertaining and to be fair one is getting a midcard title shot, but I flat out do not see a reason to care one bit here.

Buy this video game! You can wrestle as Joey Styles! Yeah the game completely sucked as it was just War Zone but with ECW characters and blood.

W*ING Kanemura vs. Balls Mahoney

Kinemura is from FMW and is something close to a hardcore legend. THIS gets a big match intro? Joey insists that this will be a hardcore match. Thanks Joey as I never would have guessed that. Kanemura hits a nice senton from the top. Oh and his first name is Kintaro here. He’s more known as W*ING though (and yes that’s the real spelling) so I’ll go with that. Not like it matters though as it’s a 2 minute match with a sitout powerslam ending it with Balls getting the win.

Rating: N/A. Just nothing here but a transitional thing to this.

The Baldies run in and beat up Balls but here’s New Jack and THAT FREAKING SONG. This is a very infamous moment so I’m not going to call this an actual match or anything. Expect a long rant later on. New Jack beats them up with stuff including a Playstation and I don’t care at all.

 

We fight over a pizza cutter for a bit and this is just wasting my time. Come on I have the Smackdown Pilot waiting on me but I have to do this first. And let’s go into the crowd because that hasn’t been done at all tonight. And now we get to the famous part of this, as we fight to a scaffolding.

There are two tables set on top of each other and they climb up the scaffolding. It should definitely be noted that it’s just that: a scaffold. In scaffold matches there was usually at least something solid to stand on. This is a beam that is only a few inches wide. They’re both clearly scared to death and I can’t blame them.

 

This is one of the scariest things I’ve ever seen. And there it is. New Jack I guess tries a suplex off the scaffold. It doesn’t work. At all. New Jack completely misses the tables and lands feet first. Grimes on the other hand lands on his head, and I mean both versions of his. Grimes lands head first and his body lands on New Jack’s head. Both guys are of course completely unconscious and we go to a wide shot while medics come in.

 

Remember that Grimes weighs about 400lbs. Sure let’s show replays and keep the freaking song going while the fans cheer. New Jack had brain damage and was at least temporarily blinded by this. It resulted in him attempting to severely injure or even kill Grimes (his words) at another show after ECW closed. This brings the show to a complete halt and lets the fans cheer incessantly.

So again we have violence for the sake of violence and stunts for the sake of stunts. And look what happened: two guys were almost killed because of it. But hey, the people are cheering right? Hey, people are going to buy more New Jack stuff now because he’s hardcore right?

 

This is another example of having no regard or respect for the lives of workers. Having them stand on a two inch bar 20 feet in the air is just flat out irresponsible, negligent and arguably criminal. Why in the world did we need to do this? Ah yes: we needed to top what we did last month.

 

Seriously, why do we have to do this? Instead of a regular wrestling match, we had to see a crutch to the balls and a vacuum shot to the back before we dive twenty feet and nearly kill two men. Not only that, but in a promotion called XPW, they had another match and New Jack tried to kill him for revenge.

 

And these incidents happened on a professional wrestling show. What do these things have to do with professional wrestling? I’ve yet to see any connection between being slammed into the concrete from a scaffold and a wrestling match. This was just flat out not needed and the fact that they didn’t die, which isn’t an exaggeration as allegedly a six inch difference would have killed New Jack, is a perk is just not acceptable.

After Joey and Cyrus stall for time, it’s time for the three way dance.

Tag Titles: Tommy Dreamer/Masato Tanaka vs. Impact Players vs. Mike Awesome/Raven

So the Impact Players were the champions and Tanaka/Dreamer beat them and held the belts for a week. Then Awesome and Raven took the belts and are defending here. They won them 8 days ago so the Impact Players lost the titles just over two weeks ago. Raven and Awesome hit the ring at a sprint and we’re already going. Awesome takes out Justin and Jason in a nice looking dive.

 

Dreamer gets a nice pop and here are the other former champions who were just thrown together but that makes them a great team of course. We get a Rocky Horror reference and Cyrus points out that the Players are the only real team here. Raven and Dreamer fight in the ring which just feels right.

 

Awesome goes through a table as it’s just a massive mess rather than anything close to a coherent match. The Roaring Elbow puts Awesome and Raven out in like 4 minutes. Ok then. So get the nameplates ready for the Impact Players again. Oh come on like they’re going to lose to Dreamer and Tanaka. Dreamer is bleeding. Justin botches a spinning DDT to the complete lack of shock from me.

 

Hey look: TAGGING IN A TAG TEAM MATCH! Dreamer hits some stuff to make the hot tag and Jason comes in to make it 3-2 which is just fine. Tanaka beats them both up just because he can and we’re doing nothing but near falls already. A kendo stick to the head of Dreamer puts him down and at least we get Diamond Dust so I can be somewhat happy.

 

A belt shot and spike piledriver to Dreamer give the Players the belts back. Cyrus runs down to celebrate. The belts would be vacated in about a month when Justin won the world title and wouldn’t be replaced for about four months, so you won’t see a PPV tag title match for a good while.

Rating: D. Again just a total mess here that nothing came from. Also this lasted 9 more minutes. Everything has flown by here and there has been no substance to anything whatsoever. Also, why drop the belts if you’re just going to get them back in two weeks anyway? Ah right: it’s ECW. I just don’t care again here.

ECW TV Title Tournament Finals: Rhyno vs. Super Crazy

Cyrus just stayed in the ring and introduced this so there was almost no transition at all. Now common sense booking would say Sandman interferes here and costs Rhyno the belt. The fans get this too so they cheer for Sandman the majority of the match, completely taking the focus off of the guys in the match.

 

Before the match though Paul comes out and cusses out Cyrus, dropping about 5 F Bombs in just over a minute. And here’s Gertner to yell at Cyrus as well. He doesn’t do anything of course, but here’s Super Crazy. I’ll give them points for elevating a midcard guy, but no one cares as neither guy has beaten RVD so there’s no point to this really. The company is completely dead at this point but they kept going for about another 10 months or so.

 

And Crazy dominates the monster with flips and stuff as the fans chant for Sandman. It’s table time already and Crazy goes through it. Rhyno hits a nice powerbomb for two. The Triple Moonsault hits and down goes the referee. Tajiri comes down and mists Crazy then kicks him. Oh look: ANOTHER table.

 

Rhyno mocks RVD, which of course brings him out to make whoever wins this look even less important. Scotty freaking Riggs comes in to help and RVD puts Rhyno through a table. Great way to make him look important. Crazy hits a moonsault to win the title.

 

He would hold it for a month then Tajiri would hold it for two weeks and then Rhyno would hold it for a full year save for a two week reign by Kid Kash in August. Rhyno beats everyone up afterwards and here’s Sandman who breaks the stick over his head. Metallica plays and the faces celebrate to end the show after two hours and twenty minutes. WOW.

Rating: D. I never would have dreamed it possible but this was somehow worse than the previous stuff. It had at least four different people running in and four tables used. What’s the point of having a champion again? This was just bad and RVD beating up Rhyno on one good leg is just idiotic. The Sandman chants didn’t help either. Horrible finish to a horrible PPV.

Overall Rating: F+. Where do I start? For one thing, the longest match of the night is the Bull Rope match at ten minutes and thirteen seconds. After that it’s the tag title match which is in essence a 2/3 falls match at 9 minutes and three seconds. Other than that I don’t think anything broke 8 minutes in length.

 

SERIOUSLY? You end a PPV at 10:20 which includes a long opening segment and a highlight package at the end and you have DUSTY FREAKING RHODES win the longest match of the night? Like I said throughout this review, it felt like they were in a rush all night. What could they possibly have been rushing to? They could have had another thirty minutes on this show but instead almost everything stays under 9 minutes?

 

Are you telling me you couldn’t add five more minutes to the tag titles? Or to Guido vs. Crazy? Or geez had ANOTHER MATCH? Dang even add five minutes to the Mahoney/Kanemura match and it would have helped. I get that the botch (which I’ll spare you more complaining about) in the New Jack thing made them run short, but you can’t thrown two guys out there for a squash or something?

 

Even with the intros and such it would have filled in some time. Or even have some promos and it gets better. Just give us SOMETHING dude. Was there a reason for the Sandman/Rhyno match not happening? Don’t tell me an injury, because it’s not like Sandman matches require a ton of actual wrestling or anything. Just a horrible PPV and the worse ECW show in a LONG time.

ECW on TNN
Date: January 14, 2000
Location: Center Stage Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 780
Commentator: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re past Guilty as Charged and it’s another two months before the next PPV with Living Dangerously. The major change is that the Impact Players finally won the titles which they should have gotten months ago. Other than that, it’s your usual ECW PPV: it’s hit or miss and if you missed it, you’re probably going to be fine. This was taped before the PPV though so don’t expect any results to be revealed to the live crowd. Let’s get to it.

Joel and Joey are in the ring to open things up. Joel does his usual filthy intro but Cyrus cuts him off of course. Cyrus talks about how unfair it is for Gertner to use this time to “get himself over” and how there’s an executive decree that says he can’t do so anymore. Also there is to be NO sexual innuendo or smart remarks towards country/western music. This includes Dukes of Hazard jokes, inbreeding or negative remarks about Rollerjam. I actually liked that show. Cyrus announces a new TNN show called Rock-N-Bowl and the fans literally groan.

Opening sequence.

We get some clips of Awesome vs. Spike on Sunday.

Joel rants about Cyrus a bit.

Super Crazy vs. Little Guido

Guido immediately takes it to the mat and pounds on Crazy’s ears a bit. The fans want pizza. Big Sal distracts Crazy and Guido takes over again. There’s a Fujiwara Armbar which doesn’t last long at all. Guido sends him to the floor for a dive but hits Sal instead. Since Sal weighs about 600lbs, that doesn’t make much of a difference. Crazy dives on both of them and we take a break.

Back with Guido in control via a top rope clothesline. Crazy is sent into the barricade by Sal which gets two and it’s back to the armbar. The problem here is that between these two and Tajiri, there’s almost nothing they haven’t shown us yet. Crazy grabs a quick rollup for two and a baseball slide takes Crazy out. There are ten punches in the corner but Guido counters with a reverse powerbomb out of the corner. Crazy DDT’s Crazy on a chair (see how little selling you get here?) for two. Sal misses a splash which gets the same on Guido, but a spinning DDT gets the pin for Crazy.

Rating: D+. You know, for as much praise as you hear these matches get, they’re really pure spot fests. Even the WCW cruiserweight matches are better wrestling matches than this. The chair stuff was actually annoying because it goes completely against what the match was supposed to be and doesn’t add anything because it didn’t even get the pin. Nothing to see here as usual but it’s still likely going to be the best match of the night.

House show/website ads.

On Sunday, Fonzie said that Sabu would walk out if he lost to RVD. That happened, but we’re not sure what walk out means apparently.

We get a minute long version of what I just said.

RVD brags about winning.

From what I can find, Sabu actually did leave soon after this because he didn’t want to put over Super Crazy.

We get another recap of Steve Corino’s crew beating up Jerry Lynn and then Dusty Rhodes when the Dream made the save. I don’t remember Dusty being advertised or being in ECW before this so that’s quite a surprise. The locker room then saved the fat man. Rhyno did most of the beating and said he wanted the world title.

Apparently Dusty is going to be at the TV Tapings for the January 28^th show where he can pick whoever he wants as a partner to face Corino.

Da Baldies want to fight New Jack. Again.

Call the hotline!

Buy these tapes!

We get another clip from Awesome Spike.

Jerry Lynn vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Tajiri jumps Jerry during the entrance and we start fast. Jerry comes back with a headscissors to send Tajiri to the floor and adds a plancha. Tajiri rams Jerry into various objects on the floor as Joel goes into a weird rant about how evil people from Minnesota are. Back in and Tajiri stomps away in the corner and hooks the Tarantula. Jerry gets put in the Tree of Woe and there’s the baseball slide before Tajiri stands on Jerry’s balls.

Tajiri misses a big spin kick and Lynn hooks a rana followed by a sitout powerbomb to counter Tajiri’s attempt at a rana of his own. A German suplex gets two on Lynn and a tornado DDT gets the same on Tajiri. Joel: “Lynn is being culturally insensitive. They don’t have tornadoes in Japan.” A BIG kick to the head puts Lynn down and a second does the same for two. In a lame ending, Lynn goes low before hitting the cradle piledriver for the pin.

Rating: B-. For ECW, this was a near masterpiece. The ending was the right idea if they’re going for a Lynn heel turn which may have been where this was going. Anyway, this is one of those good matches you hear about in ECW with selling and everything. That’s all you can ask for out of shows like these so this was fine.

Same ads as earlier.

A clip of a catfight ends the show. Seriously that’s all they’ve got. Oh and the tag titles changed. The Impact Players brag a bit too. Storm: “Do you know how hard it is to get a strap off a guy from Calgary? Just ask Vince McMahon.”

Overall Rating: D. I get that they taped this before the PPV so they couldn’t give stuff away, but man this show sucked even with that being factored in. There are about eight and a half months of this show and you can see why it was canceled: it’s just not that good no matter how you look at it. The second match wasn’t bad at all though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on TNN
Date: December 24, 1999
Location: Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

For once we’ve got a huge show here with Awesome defending the world title against Masato Tanaka. I remember hearing about this match back in 1999 and being furious that I had to go to my family’s Christmas party instead of being able to watch the title match. I got to see a few minutes here and there but I’ve never seen it all the way through. Let’s get to it.

Joel and Joey welcome us to the show until Cyrus interrupts them. Cyrus runs down Joel and Joel finally snaps back, saying there’s no ECW office to be fed up with him. Cyrus drops the bomb (I guess?) that he works for TNN, which freaks Joel out. We’re told that next week, Tanaka gets his shot. Judge Jeff Jones, Mike Awesome’s manager, comes out and says that if Spike Dudley wants a title shot, he needs to come and ask for it.

This brings out Spike as well as Awesome with the champion escaping the Acid Drop and laying out Spike with a huge clothesline. Awesome launches Spike over the top with Spike’s leg landing on the barricade. Tanaka “catches” him and then jumps the rail to fight Awesome right now. People from the back come out to break it up including Heyman, but Cyrus says let the match happen tonight. Heyman is cool with that and we have a main event for later.

Intro sequence.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka

This is joined in progress and Tanaka is in workout pants. Tanaka sends him to the floor and into the barricade followed by a chair to the head. These two were rivals in Japan with Tanaka being the guy that beat Awesome far more than anyone else. Awesome is defending and already beat Tanaka at two straight PPVs. They head into the crowd with the champion taking over.

That doesn’t seem to interest them that much so it’s time to head back to ringside. A top rope clothesline gets two for Awesome and the annoying fans already want tables. A sitout powerbomb gets two as well for Awesome and the fans get their wish. Tanaka takes a huge running Awesome Bomb off the apron through said table, as Wrestling Law #1 (if you set the table, you go through it) doesn’t apply in ECW.

We take a break and come back with the Awesome Splash getting two. Awesome brings in another table and about ten people are watching from the aisle. Tanaka escapes another powerbomb and hits a release German through the table followed by a tornado DDT onto a chair for two. A top rope elbow with a chair gets two for Tanaka as well. Awesome crushes Tanaka’s head with a chair but Tanaka gets up. Two more chairs to the head won’t put him down but a third finally does.

A running powerbomb gets two for Awesome as we’re firmly into the “what does it take to win this” mode. We take another break and come back with Tanaka hitting a tornado DDT off the top through a table for two. The fans are starting to lose it on these kickouts. Tanaka hits the Roaring Elbow (a discus elbow smash to the face) for the pin and the title out of nowhere.

Rating: C. This rating depends on how you look at it. It was exciting, but it was completely ridiculous. The biggest problem of all: Awesome can stand up through all of those huge moves with all of those weapons, but an elbow to the face is enough to knock him out? How exactly does that work? These matches are well received, and while they’re exciting, they destroy the limits of what it means to be realistic and that brings them down a lot.

Awesome puts the belt on Tanaka and then beats him up, followed by a powerbomb over the ropes and through a table on the floor.

Awesome is furious post break and goes after Cyrus, who blames Paulie.

Super Crazy vs. Ikuto Hidaka

Before the match, we cut to the back and see Corino, Jack Victory and Rhyno leaving a locker room after apparently destroying Axl Rotten and Balls Mahoney with a chair. It’s a feeling out process to start with with Crazy going to the floor. Back in and it’s time for gymnastics. They both avoid everything the other person throws before they both hit armdrags and nip up at the same time for a standoff.

Hidaka ducks a kick and a headscissors sends Crazy to the outside. A HUGE flip dive takes crazy out again and Hidaka is in control. Crazy whips him into the barricade and fires off some kicks before we head back inside. A springboard missile dropkick puts Hidaka down and a moonsault gets two for Crazy. Crazy hooks a surfboard and then a dragon sleeper to keep Hidaka in trouble.

Hidaka is sent to the floor again but comes back in with a springboard missile dropkick to the knee. There’s a leg lock but Hidaka lets it go way too fast. West Coast Pop gets two for Hidaka and he counters a powerbomb into a tornado DDT for two more. He goes up again but misses his flip attack, allowing Crazy to hit a sitout powerbomb for the pin. Why did referees in ECW count so fast?

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches that was exciting but it had nothing as far as storytelling or flow to it other than that 15 seconds of leg work that Hidaka did. I’ve never head of Hidaka other than him in ECW, which is odd as he had the high flying ability that indy companies love.

House show/merchandise ads.

Mike Awesome yells at Lou E. Dangerously who was literally a Heyman imitator. Lou: “I’m not him! LOOK! I HAVE HAIR!” Awesome yells at his manager for taking too much credit for Awesome’s success.

Tag Titles: Raven/Tommy Dreamer vs. Da Baldies

Before the match we get comments from the Impact Players who are ready for Guilty As Charged and their title shot. Storm: “Now put that in your Y2J and smoke it.” We come back to the arena to see the Players running in to beat down Raven while Dreamer is in the crowd for some reason. There’s no match here as the Players beat up Raven and cuff him up in a crucifixion position at the entrance. Raven gets caned and busted open as the Players pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is one of those shows that feels like it’s charging by as fast as it can and hopes that you can’t tell what’s on it but it hopes that you like the streaks of color you see. The two matches that actually happened were fast paced and entertaining, but they certainly weren’t good from a quality standpoint at all. We’ll have a rematch for the title next week anyway and guess what happens there.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on TNN
Date: September 24, 1999
Location: Flickinger Center, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 3,960
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

Back with the fifth episode of this show. We’re past Anarchy Rulz now and the most important thing is that Mike Awesome is the new world champion. Tazz lost the belt because he’s heading to WWF which was a major blow to ECW, especially after losing the Dudleys two weeks earlier. This is around the time I started watching the show infrequently so I’ll probably remember some of this stuff. Let’s get to it.

Joel and Joey open the show. Joe is like Fred Flintstone because he makes the ladies’ bed rock. Joey invites Dreamer to the ring along with Francine. He asks Dreamer about his bad back but Gertner cuts him off to talk about Francine. She isn’t pure apparently but Joel has a girl in the back that certainly is. That would be Miss Congeniality. She comes out and is pretty clearly a hooker. CATFIGHT! Congeniality came out with Doring and Roadkill and it’s time for a brawl. Since this is ECW, it becomes this.

Tag Titles: Tommy Dreamer vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill

The two of them beat up Dreamer to start because there’s no partner. Raven runs in after about 45 seconds and pins Doring with a DDT. The champions leave separately. Congeniality takes a DDT as well.

For those of you unfamiliar, Miss Congeniality is probably better known to you by her other wrestling name: Lita.

Opening sequence.

Dreamer calls out Raven for a fight. Dreamer comes back out but won’t get in the ring.

House show ads.

November 2 Remember ad.

Call the ECW Hotline!

We look at the history of Taz with the world title, starting with him making Shane pass out.

We get a clip from the PPV of Tanaka arriving and being interviewed when Judge Jeff Jones (Awesome’s manager) arrives and yells at Tanaka. Tanaka rams him into the car and walks off.

Post break Heyman is holding Joey back from killing Joel. Joel insults Heyman so Joey has to hold Paul back. Funny, but I have no idea what the point was.

We get highlights from Storm vs. Lynn with Storm scoring the upset. We also see Sabu beat up Justin Credible, only to lose to That’s Incredible.

We see from the beginning of the world title match up until Taz being eliminated. Here’s the pasted part from the PPV review.

ECW World Title: Masato Tanaka vs. Taz vs. Mike Awesome

No intro or anything. Joey just says it’s time for our world title match. The fans throw a TON of stuff into the ring because of Taz. He sold out apparently. No. Heyman screwed up the booking of him because no one cared about him as a face after he whined for a year and Shane Douglas wouldn’t drop the title like he should have. I still say that had as much to do with killing ECW as anything did. That and not putting the belt on RVD about 5 months before this.

Mike Awesome is in the crowd and Taz says send him in there too. Heyman comes out and holds Awesome back. I love how the fans go from YOU SOLD OUT to yelling his catchphrase with him inside of a minute. Remember that officially Taz hasn’t been announced as leaving yet but it’s the worst kept secret in wrestling. Heyman makes it a threeway.

So yeah add Mike Awesome to the title because I’m lazy. Oh and Awesome is in wrestling gear in the crowd. I’m shocked too. They double team him and that doesn’t work at all. Tanaka takes an Awesome Bomb. And then the Roaring Elbow and Awesome Splash puts Taz out in about two minutes. There you go then.

The locker room empties so that everyone can say goodbye to Taz.

Little Guido vs. Super Crazy

Joey’s voice is messed up so Joel is on his own. They feel each other out to start with Guido hooking a cross armbreaker on the mat. The speed continues and Guido gets thrown into the corner. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker sends him to the floor so Crazy hits a hard suicide dive and they go into the crowd. HUGE top rope Asai Moonsault into the people has the crowd screaming like…well like an ECW crowd.

A superplex brings Guido back in and gets two. This has been one sided so far, and that would probably be the sign of Guido’s comeback. Surfboard by Crazy which he shifts into a Dragon Sleeper while the legs are still hooked. Lionsault misses and Guido hooks a sweet seated full nelson into a dragon suplex position for two. He works on the arm a bit and throws Crazy to the floor where Big Sal throws him into the barricade.

Back in for a Fujiwara Armbar, followed by a top rope Fameasser for two. Guido distracts the referee so Sal (weighs about 600lbs) can splash Crazy for two. The beating continues but Crazy grabs a DDT out of nowhere for two. He loads up the three moonsaults but hits knees on the second. Sal comes in again but his powerbomb is countered. A brainbuster pins Guido a second later.

Rating: C+. This was the usual great stuff between any combination of these two and Tajiri. The thing here though is that Tajiri and Crazy actually moved up the card after this, which is something WCW never quite got right. I could have done with a lot less Sal in this, but that goes for almost any Guido match.

Post match Sal jumps Crazy so Spike comes out and beats him up. There’s a three count so this was officially a match but whatever.

House show ad.

Here are Storm and Dawn Marie for a chat. We go to a break before they get in and when we come back, RVD is saying Lynn from an Impact Players beating. Johnny Smith runs in for a 3-2 beating when the lights go out. It’s Sabu of course and the beating is on. Sabu takes out Justin as Lynn makes his comeback.

We cut to the announcers and when we cut back the ring is full of people brawling. I mean there are like 15 guys in there and here’s New Jack for the big beating.

And never mind as it’s back to the announcers with like 2 minutes left to tell us who won the world title at the PPV. It’s Mike Awesome and Taz hands the belt to him. The locker room hugs Taz and that’s it.

Overall Rating: D. What a mess this was. These 20 second “matches” that are out of nowhere are really getting old as they don’t advance anything and are there to pop the live crowd. That’s the opposite of what WCW did, as everything was about the TV crowd. To paraphrase Lance Storm: “You look at the TV camera because there are a few thousand people in the arena and millions on the other side of the camera.” It’s common sense, which is something ECW lacked at times.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

And follow me on Twitter @kbreviews