SuperBrawl Revenge (SuperBrawl 2001): Just Let It Be Over

Superbrawl Revenge
Date: February 18, 2001
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 4,395
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

It’s the final show in this trilogy that I’m doing as we wrap up Superbrawl thankfully with them cutting the numbers out. The main event here is Steiner vs. Nash in a 2/3 falls retirement vs. title match so take a guess who’s losing. Other than that the matches are at least different than the other matches we’ve seen in the previous two months. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of what would probably be a criminal or a psycho cutting out letters to make the word revenge. Yeah let’s get on with this.

Tony isn’t sure if Nash is here or not.

We get a clip from earlier in the day as Animal jumped Kidman to take him out of the opening match.

??? vs. Shannon Moore vs. Kaz Hayashi vs. Yun Yang vs. Evan Karagis vs. Jamie Knoble

This is a 4 corner 6 man elimination match. In other words you have two in the ring and one in every corner and it’s tagging in and out in an elimination match. We get a clip of Knoble and Karagis qualifying beating a team called Air Raid. That team was comprised of Air Paris and Air Styles. Styles started going by his initials: A.J. You may have heard of him and yes, he was in WCW for awhile. The entrances take forever and the replacement is Shane Helms, making it ANOTHER combination of these six.

This isn’t for a title or anything other than bragging rights as far as I can tell. For some reason Shane being the partner is SHOCKING even though there are two other teams in there. Knoble and Moore start us off. Oh apparently the winner gets a title shot at Greed. Knoble can’t get a tombstone so they slug it out instead. Belly to back gets two for Knoble. Shane tags himself in to face Jamie and 3 Count gets some double teaming to take Jamie down but not out.

Everything breaks down and Moore is sent crashing to the floor. The Dragons take out 3 Count with stereo Asai Moonsaults. The Dragons beat on Knoble a bit now but Karagis takes Yang out with a springboard cross body. Yang and Knoble speed things WAY up and Knoble gets a neckbreaker for two. Knoble brings in Karagis and it turns into a brawl. Full nelson slam puts Yang down and Evan hammers away a bit but hurts himself on a back splash.

Shane comes in and beats the tar out of both Karagis and Yang. Yang grabs a rollup for two but Shannon makes a blind tag and some double teaming takes down Yang. Scott forgets that this is elimination because he’s not that intelligent. Everything breaks down and Kaz pops Helms only to get jumped by Evan. Shane gets a superplex to Kaz and everyone misses dives off the top in a cool looking sequence.

The tagging stuff has been thrown completely out at this point. 3 Count gets a sweet double teaming move to Kaz as Shane dives all over the place. Now Kaz gets a huge spinning dive as does everyone else. Karagis gets a big spinning spinebuster to Yang and then does his driving the Cadillac and talking on the cell phone taunt. Knoble and Karagis argue over who should pin Yang because they’re not very intelligent.

Yang botches what looked like a Lionsault and slips off the ropes. He settles for a neckbreaker to put out Karagis. Tombstone to Yang by Knoble gets rid of the future Resident Redneck seconds later. Knoble sends Moore flying to the floor and it’s Helms vs. Knoble at the moment. Moore gets a Fameasser off the top on Knoble and we have Moore, Helms and Kaz yet.

3 Count double teams Kaz as you would expect them to do. Moore gets a backslide and Helms adds a leg drop to Kaz’s exposed neck. That’s INSANE when you think about it. Samoan drop/neckbreaker combination kills Kaz but they don’t go for a cover. Moore grabs a Fameasser on Helms to be a jerk for two but Kaz kicks him for no apparent reason and hits the referee at the same time. Do they not realize this is ELIMINATION???

Helms beats on Moore but takes a low blow to put him down. Kaz and Moore beat on Helms before fighting each other. Kaz sets for a moonsault but Moore pushes Helms out of the way so that Kaz crashes. Nightmare on Helm Street takes Moore out and we’re down to Kaz vs. Helms. They fight over suplexes with Kaz getting a German for two (make your own international jokes). Top rope sunset flip by Helms is reversed into a BIG swinging kick by Kaz for two. They grapple a bit more and Helms gets a Vertebreaker to end this finally.

Rating: B-. The match ran nearly 20 minutes which made it feel long. Also the people not seeming to grasp the rules at various points hurt it a lot also. Good match and fun but the ending was never really in danger. And of course these people would keep feuding until WCW went out of business because having the best matches in the company wasn’t worth being advanced right?

We see security camera footage of Flair and Animal talking when Chavo comes up to them which would imply that Chavo put a hit out on Kidman.

General Rection says he brought the Wall into MIA and made him awesome. The Wall has joined Chavo now and attacked the remaining Misfits. This is Hugh Morrus though, not General Rection. Ok then.

Flair comes in to talk to Steiner who says this is about the future and hands him an envelope which he says contains Nash’s future.

Kronik talks to Lance Storm who is now Commissioner. Clark is hurt apparently but has been cleared. If he isn’t cleared by the company doctor he can wrestle. Adams can’t go with him.

Hugh Morrus vs. The Wall

Wall turned on Morrus and beat him up at various times so now it’s the big fight. Morrus tries to shove the referee out of the way and gets beaten down with ease instead. We hear about new ownership which is a real thing that was supposed to be done by Bischoff and his investment group, but that fell through due to Nitro and Thunder being canceled.

We head to the floor quickly and Wall is sent into the barricade. Wall is rammed into the steps and the steps are rammed into Wall. Well at least it’s even. Morrus picks up the steps and drops them on Wall as it’s ALL Morrus here. The fans want tables as we head back into the ring. Top rope elbow gets no cover. Morrus runs into a big boot and they’re both down.

Wall gets a hand on Morrus for two and then chops away in the corner. He gets on the ropes and tries a sleeper that would be like a hangman’s noose but Morrus gets a jawbreaker, despite the jaw and shoulder not colliding at all. Top rope legdrop by Wall misses and both are down again. Spinebuster by Morrus puts both guys down again. Am I watching a reenactment of Taker vs. HHH from Mania 26?

Low blow by Morrus and he fails at a hot shot so he chokes away a bit. They do the hot shot again which is stupid but that’s a lecture for a different time. This one connects for two though so it’s not like it matters. And they’re down again. I’m really starting to think Taker and HHH studied this before their match in 2011. Pancake hits and they’re both down AGAIN. The opening was good but dang man. Did they forget their naps earlier?

Hudson talks about them leaving everything in the ring and that’s why this is called Revenge. What in the world does that have to do with Revenge? Shouldn’t that be called Superbrawl: Never Quit or something like that? Piledriver can’t connect for Wall so Morrus gets a backdrop to put them both…..you know what I’m going to say so I’ll save you the time here. They slug it out from their knees as Hudson says this isn’t wrestling. Wow they were ahead of their time in WCW. German suplex to the Wall. Shouldn’t it be a Berlin suplex? No Laughing Matter (moonsault) ends this.

Rating: D. Good opening part but after that it went too long and got sloppy. Also, WAY too much laying around out there which hurt the match a lot. This should have been cut down by about 3-4 minutes and it would have gotten a lot better. Morrus was better than given credit for but he wasn’t a miracle worker.

Konnan tries to go see Flair but brawls with Animal instead.

We recap the tag title match which is between two teams of Natural Born Thrillers. They’ve broken up recently over one pair trying to help the other and failing. There was talk of jealousy and all that jazz. Oh and one carried the other. You can fill in the details yourself I think.

Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo vs. Mark Jindrak/Shawn Stasiak

Stasiak makes fun of the Titans, the NFL team in town, to establish his team as the heels. Palumbo and O’Haire have the title here. Big brawl to start and it’s hard to keep track of. Stasiak and O’Haire are your starters. Stasiak is all fired up here and hammers away with clotheslines for two. Konnan has been thrown out of the building by Flair. Off to Jindrak who is caught in a hot shot which mostly hits.

Palumbo comes in with that awesome right hand of his. They’re tagging in and out very fast here. The champions do the Haas/Benjamin jump over the guy and land on the opponent’s back move to Jindrak. Jindrak was probably the weakest of these four. Well maybe not as long as Stasiak was in there. Palumbo gets a weird move to Jindrak. Think of a hiptoss but when he lifts Jindrak in the air he falls backwards on him. That was kind of cool actually.

The challengers get O’Haire down for some Horsemen stomping. Arn and Tully they’re not though as Palumbo hammers them both but can’t get a DDT. Double kip up by the challengers and stereo elbows as Palumbo plays Ricky Morton. Bulldog by Stasiak gets two and it’s off to Jindrak again who also gets two. O’Haire is all fired up on the apron as he has to watch his partner get double teamed.

Stasiak gets a clothesline for two and it’s off to Jindrak again. Off to the chinlock now as Jindrak continues to be incredibly dull in the ring. Sean finally pops in without a tag to drill Jindrak which gets him nowhere. Stasiak comes back in and throws on an armbar. Small package by Palumbo for two. Tilt-a-whirl gets two for Jindrak and it’s back to Stasiak.

He goes up top and misses a splash by a mile. The tips of his feet would have missed Palumbo by about a foot anyway. Jawbreaker by Palumbo and it’s off to O’Haire for a big pop. He clotheslines everyone and after a brief beatdown, a pair of superkicks from the champions sets up a Sean-ton Bomb to end it. His is better than Hardy’s as he hits more with his shoulders than his back and it looks awesome.

Rating: C+. They worked the formula here and had a good match, but it felt rushed for some reason. The problem here is that they all look similar and they all have a very similar style and it got a bit dull after awhile. O’Haire was clearly the top guy out there and of course in WWE he was probably featured the least. Typical.

Dustin Rhodes says his family doesn’t like Flair’s Family. Tonight it’s him vs. Rick Steiner because WCW isn’t that intelligent.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey comes out in a boxer’s robe throwing shadow punches. I give up. Animal has been helping Chavo for no adequately explored reason. Rey has horns on his head, overalls and a big cross around his neck. Oh and no mask. How did they manage to screw up Rey Mysterio? Dropkick puts Chavo on the floor but he can’t get a dive. Chavo gets back in and tries a sunset bomb but takes a rana to send him to the concrete.

Rey gets draped over the top rope for two as Chavo takes over. Superplex is blocked by Rey but he gets crotched on the top rope and lands in the Tree of Woe. After some dropkicks to the ribs, Chavo tries what can be called a spear but Rey gets out of the way, sending Chavo’s arm into the post. Rey can’t capitalize and winds up in the Gory Special. That’s always a cool move to see Chavo bust out.

Rey escapes quickly as Chavo tries to get it back on but shifts over to a Gory Bomb which is like a flapjack but with Rey being on Chavo’s back to start. Out to the floor now with Chavo in full control. Back in the ring and Rey tries a springboard moonsault press but Chavo catches him. Rey sends him into the corner but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to end that flurry.

STF by Chavo. Odd though as I can still see him. Rey escapes, only to be sent out to the floor one more time. Sorry for the lack of jokes here but Chavo was so good at this point that he more or less didn’t have bad matches. Chavo sends him knee first into the steps and the challenger is in trouble. Before he throws Rey back in, Chavo steals a fan’s Rey mask and puts it on Rey, which would more or less get him shot in Mexico.

Chavo goes up, only to get crotched which brings him right back down. Rey puts the mask on Chavo and “hits” an awful rana for two. The champion gets sent to the floor and grabs the title, apparently to leave. Rey counters with a slingshot seated senton to take over even further. In the ring he tries what appears to be a Lionsault but falls flat on his back off the ropes. Lot of botching by Rey tonight.

Chavo goes to the floor again and grabs a chair. The knee gets smacked and Chavo gets a hot shot out of an electric chair. Rey gets back up and takes over but doesn’t look right still. He tries a big springboard move but falls AGAIN. Who does he think he is, Sin Cara? Rey sends him into the ring and gets a falling headbutt for two. DDT sets up the Bronco Buster. Rey picks up the chair from earlier which is taken away by the referee. Chavo grabs another chair and pops him with it. Brainbuster ends it with Chavo retaining.

Rating: B. And that’s mainly due to Chavo. Rey was WAY off here and it’s probably the worst performance I’ve ever seen out of him. Chavo was incredible at this point though so it was no big deal for him to carry the match. Good stuff overall and I liked the heel ending from the heel champion. Good match here with a great old school flavor to it.

Storm, the Commissioner for the month, changes the order of the matches and Brian Adams isn’t happy with it.

We recap Dustin Rhodes vs. Rick Steiner. Dustin came back and Flair wanted him in the Magnificent Seven but he turned it down. Nash kidnapped Flair’s son and said give Rhodes a match with Steiner or else. Dustin beat Steiner and got reinstated plus a US Title shot here.

US Title: Rick Steiner vs. Dustin Rhodes

Just let it sink in that this is the midcard title match in 2001. We hear about Goldberg but he’s gone at the moment. Dustin jumps Steiner as he comes in and we’re ready to go. Rick is absolutely worthless at this point and wouldn’t sell at all but he used to be a big star so here he is. Steiner ducks a cross body and Dustin goes flying out to the floor to give Rick his first advantage.

Steiner Line gets two and is followed by knees to the head. Belly to belly gets two and we hit an awful chinlock. Dustin does the standard escape out of it but misses an elbow. Half crab goes on and this is horribly boring. Apparently Steiner is taking Dustin’s soul here. Off to another chinlock because the fans were starting to care a bit.

Dustin fights up again and Dustin hammers away with various stuff including a clothesline for two. Bulldog hits and Rick hits the floor. Into the announce table and Dustin grabs a chair. The referee tells him not to as he takes the role of babysitter. Steiner takes the turnbuckle pad off and a hot shot puts Dustin into it. Steiner covers him and puts his feet on the ropes to end it.

Rating: D-. Rick Steiner gets a singles push in 2001. This is what people talk about when they say stupid booking with old guys getting pushed too much. I mean let’s see. Who do you have to be US Champion here? Any of the Thrillers, Storm, Awesome, Kidman, Mysterio, Chavo, you get the point. Match was awful too.

Dustin gives him Shattered Dreams post match.

Flair comes up to Storm and says he wants Dustin and everyone else not on their team out of the building after their matches. Also Kronik vs. Totally Buff is now a #1 contenders match.

Miller and Page are getting ready for Storm.

Totally Buff vs. Kronik

Wow that sounds like a pair of indy teams if I’ve ever heard one. The fans chant for Goldberg and Totally Buff says he was fired. They run their mouths for awhile longer and we’re told that Brian Clark hasn’t been released to wrestle yet. So it’s a handicap match now with Adams fighting both of them. Oh never mind there he is. The lights are still out for the entrance though and we can’t see Clark. Yeah we know what’s coming so just get to it.

Clark is put down by a chair shot so it’s a handicap match anyway. Adams gets a terrible double DDT but can’t get a full nelson slam on Luger due to a low blow. Off to Bagwell and we begin the standard double teaming and tagging in and out by the heels. Other than that double DDT it’s been all heels here. Camel clutch by Luger and he poses a bit. Luger jumps up and down on his back a few times but gets caught in a double knee to the Package’s package.

Bagwell goes down also and it’s off to Adams in control. He fires away with basic stuff that doesn’t really get him anywhere. Totally Buff sets for a double team Blockbuster but Adams fights off Luger’s shoulders and gets a belly to back suplex to take him down. You know, if Bagwell had actually, I don’t know, DONE SOMETHING OTHER THAN STAND ON THE ROPES AND WATCHED, Adams might not have been able to take over like that.

Anyway we get an attempted full nelson slam to Bagwell but Clark apparently turns on Adams and drills him. Ah but it’s a ruse and it’s Mike Awesome in Clark attire with a wig. Why is that the case you ask? No one knows, but my guess would be because it makes no sense and makes Awesome even more worthless than he was before. Rack and the Blockbuster ends Adams quickly.

Rating: D. Hey what do you know? It’s a pointless match that isn’t any good with a screwy ending that makes no sense. Who in the world would have seen that coming? Awesome continues to be completely wasted (no match tonight) and again, NO ONE CARES ABOUT LUGER AND BAGWELL!!! Terrible match….again.

Adams and the real Clark are thrown out of the building, but they beat up security first anyway.

Lance Storm vs. The Cat

Winner is the Commissioner because we need two authority figures right? Cat comes out to interrupt the national anthem and they compete for cheers. Just get to the boring match. They trade wristlocks to start with Storm taking over and getting booed. The announcers talk about how Cat is the only person standing in the way of Flair having total power in WCW. If that’s the case, why would Flair allow him to have this match?

Cat gets a kick and sends Storm to the floor where he walks around for awhile. We hear that Nash isn’t here tonight again to try to build up even more drama. Storm pulls Cat to the floor and takes over as this isn’t much at all. Tony gets on Storm for being a heel saying “that’s our commissioner?” Yes, we clearly need the guy in the tiger print jumpsuit that says SOMEBODY CALL MY MAMA on the back of it.

Storm works on the knee as we’ve been on the floor for about a minute now. Cat tries to make his comeback but Storm keeps working on the knee as we’re finally back in the ring. Storm proves that he works for Flair as he goes up, only to get slammed off the top. Back to the floor again and Storm wraps the knee around the post some more.

Miller blocks a sunset flip and does that stupid crotch chop of his before his dancing elbow drop. Storm catches the Feliner and puts on the Maple Leaf for a few seconds. Miller makes his comeback with what else? Kicks of course. Here comes Mike Sanders, only to get taken out by Ms. Jones. Feliner and Miller is Commissioner again.

Rating: D+. This would be between D+ and D but Jones looks good so we’ll give it the benefit of the doubt. The stips were stupid and the match was boring but you can’t ask Storm to be a miracle worker in there. I think this would be the last Commissioner changing of the guard but does anyone really care?

We recap Jarrett vs. Page which involves Kanyon somehow. They don’t like each other and that’s about it.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Miller has been thrown out of the building also. His powers don’t kick in until midnight. Good thing he’s not a superhero as that would be problematic at times. Jarrett comes out second and says there’s something to get done before the match starts. We get a clip from last week with Page saying anywhere anytime to Kanyon, so here we go.

Kanyon vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Kanyon comes out (not of the closet yet) from under the ring to jump DDP which fails completely. We hit the floor and it’s all Page so far. Kanyon gets draped over the railing and Page spanks him. Oh dear. Ten punches in the corner are reversd by a low blow which the referee is all cool with. Back to the floor again and Page goes back first into the railing. Jarrett is nowhere to be found.

From the apron, Kanyon hits a Fameasser to the steps in a cool looking spot, busting Page open a bit. Kanyon continues his unorthodox offense by standing on the middle rope while on the inside and suplexing Page into the ring from the apron for two. Page tries to fight back but walks into a Northern Lights Suplex for two. After a modified facejam we’re off to the chinlock.

Page takes a swinging neckbreaker for two. Samoan Drop (I think. You never know with Kanyon) is reversed into a sunset flip for two. Discus lariat puts both guys down. Page gets up and another discus lariat puts Kanyon down. Spinning Rock Bottom gets two. Sitout Alabama Slam gets two for Kanyon. Sitout powerbomb gets two for DDP. They like these sitout moves. Diamond Cutter is reversed into the Kanyon Cutter (same move) and here’s Jarrett. Down goes the referee and of course Jarrett comes in with a Stroke for Page. Flatliner (Downward Spiral) ends Page.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here but it was just there to set up the next match which is ok I guess. We got a decent match out of it also so that helps. Page is a good worker and you never would believe he was in his mid 40s. This worked fine and makes Page look weaker going into the main match, which is fine as long as he wins it.

Kanyon does the introductions for this.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Jarrett does his full intro again. We head into the crowd almost immediately as Page is more or less nothing. Also remember that he has the cut next to his eye so he’s losing blood rapidly. Page grabs some stuff to drill Jarrett with. Looks like a trashcan. For no apparent reason we go to a wide shot for a bit so you have to kind of guess where they are.

Back to ringside and we head to the announce table. DDT on the table to Jarrett but it doesn’t break. Cutter is blocked and DDP lands on Tony. Chair to the ribs of DDP and the evil one takes over again. After some stomping, Page gets a discus lariat (third in about 4 minutes) to take Jarrett down but DDP is taken down again very quickly. We hit a sleeper and here it makes a lot of sense as Page is spent.

The crowd reacts really well to Page holding the arm up on the sleeper. Page throws the sleeper on Jarrett but it only lasts a few seconds. DDT out of nowhere puts Jarrett down and it’s a double knockout at the moment. Both back up and Page hammers away. Ten buckles to Jarrett’s head set up a belly to back suplex for two. Belly to belly gets the same.

Page gets a Pancake (picture a Piledriver but Page jumps forward to slam Jarrett’s face into the mat). It gets two as Kanyon pulls Page out. With Page chasing after Kanyon, Jarrett pops Page in the back with a chair which somehow only gets two. Guitar misses Page and Kanyon is done. Diamond Cutter (BIG pop for that too. LISTEN WCW!!!) and Jarrett is done in a great moment for Page.

Rating: C+. Better match here than the previous one but dude, it’s Jarrett vs. Page. The problem in WCW is very apparent here though: Page just had two solid matches against a guy that means nothing and one of the “old” guys. Why not do this with two of the Thrillers or Storm for example? The company died for reasons like those.

We recap Nash vs. Steiner. Steiner was the monster heel and the crown jewel of the Magnificent Seven with Nash being the current great white hope (Booker was still injured at this point). Nash’s knee was destroyed six days before this.

Here’s Flair as the announcers talk about the envelope that Flair had earlier (scroll way up if you don’t remember it). Flair does commentary for the title match.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner

And once again, two old guys are in the main event. Better than four old guys I guess. Steiner does his whole entrance and there’s no Nash. Steiner runs off Michael Buffer which is funny for some reason. We see the clip from Sin where Sid broke his leg and it literally makes me shake and cringe. Flair gets in the ring and makes it a retirement match. This would be probably Nash’s 3rd retirement match of the year or so. He’s 0-2 at the moment.

If Steiner loses he loses the title and his career and it’s against only Nash’s career. Not really fair. Nash’s music kicks on as the referee is counting. And he’s in a wheelchair with a cast on his leg. Nash stands up and gets in the ring. He grabs the belt and blasts Steiner in the head with it, getting the pin in 10 seconds. Flair makes it 2/3 falls. I think I know where this is going. It’s No DQ also.

In the back, Totally Buff beats up DDP and locks him in an anvil case. Holy random moment Batman! Nash beats up Steiner a bit because he can and doesn’t go for the Jackknife for no apparent reason. The beating goes on for a few minutes as everyone knows we’re just waiting to get to more shenanigans. Out to the floor and it’s all Nash. Midajah tries to interfere and it works, allowing Steiner to bash Nash in the head with a pipe. Nash is out cold on the floor so Steiner shouts to Flair to make it falls count anywhere. Flair says cool and it’s tied up.

Flair says on headset that the first fall didn’t count for no apparent reason. Brass knuckle shots from Steiner should mean Nash is dead but he gets back in a few seconds later. Both guys are busted a bit. Spinning belly to belly gets two and Steiner does his basic stuff. T-Bone gets two. It’s about 3am while I’m reviewing this and it’s ending my insomnia quickly.

Steiner gets the knucks again but can’t do anything with them. Sidewalk slam puts both guys down. Nash hit it if you were curious. Flair has Midajah take the knuckles out of Nash’s reach and hands Steiner a chair. Big shot to the head of Nash and the Recliner goes on. Nash just moves his arms and turns it into a regular chinlock which he escapes pretty easily, sending Scott to the floor.

They slug it out in the middle of the ring and Nash gets a chokeslam for two. Midajah tries to jump the referee which gets her nowhere. Snake eyes and a big boot set up the Jackknife and I wonder what they’re going to do to break the pin up. It would be Midajah again and she gets a side slam for her trouble. Another cover but Flair pulls the referee out and drills him. Low blow and a chair shot by Steiner sets up the Recliner to end this finally.

Rating: D. It’s another mess of a main event with very limited wrestling plus a ton of shenanigans here. Match was more or less nothing of course as there’s no need to have Nash vs. Steiner and various other old people in the main event but hey, that’s just common sense so who cares? Goldberg was (I’m assuming) healthy but this is what we get instead. Bad match but I think that’s the point here.

Nash is called the heart and soul of WCW. I give up.

Overall Rating: D+. Hard one to grade here as there’s some good stuff but they knew the new owners were coming in so they were more or less just holding down the fort. It’s definitely not the worst show they’ve ever done as the cruiserweight stuff was good and Page’s stuff was good, but the middle part of this show is just dreadfully boring on all accounts. Not terrible, but they knew they were in trouble and it was flat out too late.

 

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On This Day: February 20, 1994 – SuperBrawl 4: Here’s One You’ve Probably Never Seen. Literally.

SuperBrawl IV
Date: February 20, 1994
Location: Gray Civic Center, Albany, Georgia
Attendance: 7,600
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

For no reason that I can find anywhere, this was never released on home video. I simply don’t understand that. Why not? It doesn’t look like much on paper but WCW and Turner would put ANYTHING on VHS to make a quick buck off of it. Bischoff is in charge now kind of and Bill Watts is gone so the show is more or less automatically better than last year’s was. Flair is booking the show mind you, so this really is a new era for the company.

This is highlighted by two Thundercage matches which more or less is a cage that curves up to the top. It’s nothing special but it’s Vader vs. Flair so I can’t complain. Other than that the card is more or less a complete mess with so much going on that it’s hard to really see a point at all. Let’s go as I haven’t seen this show ever before.

The opening video talks about various matches going on tonight, none of which sound interesting in the slightest. Ok Vader vs. Flair sounds ok. We actually see Flair training which is something you never really see. He says he’s going to run Vader out of gas. If anyone could do that, it’s Flair.

His cardiovascular conditioning is better than anyone’s in history more than likely. Seeing him lift weights is just odd indeed. For no apparent reason, Big Boss Man is refereeing there. We also have Badd vs. Michael Hayes which started out yesterday but tonight they’re FINALLY settling it.

Michael Hayes vs. Johnny B. Badd

Badd is still just a comedy character that no one likes yet. Actually people like him. They’re just idiots though. He has two Badd Blasters to shoot freaking glitter and confetti though as he has nothing better to do with his life. And Hayes is in a wheelchair with Jimmy Garvin pushing him.

Hayes says that he fell down the stairs but Garvin says that he slipped on a banana peel while they suck up Nick Bockwinkle. I actually don’t recognize Garvin with short hair. That mullet he had could have shielded a small country. He shoots his mouth off and he’s the replacement now. Ok so the match is with Garvin and apparently in 45 minutes or so.

Harlem Heat vs. Thunder and Lightning

Thunder and Lightning were rookies, meaning this had no point being on PPV. Harlem Heat would one day become great but here they’re relatively new. They debuted in August so it’s not like they’re well known or anything. Also they’re named Kane (Stevie Ray) and Kole (Booker T). Heenan rips the white guys like there’s no tomorrow as he’s in his element here. Seriously, Thunder and Lightning is the best name you can come up with?

I never got the Heat having their names changed. They look exactly the same as they would in later years with the same outfits and everything but their names were changed. It helped a lot but I never got the point to it. You could tell that Booker had that it factor to be a big deal. Tony thinks the winner here should get a title shot. We get a camera into Flair’s dressing room to show that he is indeed sitting in it. Apparently Steamboat gets a title shot at the next PPV.

That one is coming soon. Thunder gets the hot tag and no one cares. His dropkick misses completely but Kane (that just sounds weird to type) sells it anyway. Kole kicks the heck out of Thunder for the pin.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but I just couldn’t have cared less. Heenan calling them Batman and Robin the whole time was funny if nothing else. This just wasn’t very good. It’s not bad to be fair, but this got 10 minutes for two rookie teams. Who thought this was a good idea?

There’s a ton of security outside Flair’s dressing room as Vader threatened him.

Jungle Jim Steele vs. The Equalizer

Steele is I think an Indian character or something. Oh it’s Tarzan or something. This feels like something from the mid 70s. Apparently Steele has been on a winning streak or something but he keeps winning in like three minutes. Equalizer would be Evad Sullivan in a few months. Again, this is getting PPV time. What does that tell you about 1993-1994 WCW? Steele doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page.

Seriously, JUNGLE JIM Steele? That’s the best they can come up with? He looks like a combination of Jimmy Snuka and Ultimate Warrior. What does that tell you? They try to point out the history of great opening matches in SuperBrawl history, although the matches they mention didn’t open the show. We hear the name Hulk Hogan. Yeah that’s not foreshadowing at all. And Steele hits a Thesz Press for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: F-. It’s called the Steele Trap. That makes this a failure alone. I can’t emphasize how stupid this was. Seriously, THIS got 7 minutes of people paying for it. That boggles my mind.

The question on the Hotline is was it fair for Bockwinkle to say Garvin has to wrestle or be suspended. Yeah he’s going to suspend a retired guy.

Steamboat is named the official number one contender to the winner of Flair vs. Vader. Gene asks if he knew about the added security in the locker room he left to come do this interview. My head hurts again. Dang how awesome would a long Steamboat vs. Vader have been?

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Terry Taylor

Page is a biker here as he’s more or less worthless. Then we have Taylor who just is worthless. Page had been doing this thing where he would draw names out of a bowl for who he was going to fight but they were always retired or something like that. Taylor called him out so Page got a box full of bricks and hit him in the head with it, which should have killed him. I can’t get over this: it is 1994 and TERRY TAYLOR is wrestling on PPV. How in the world is that possible?

Page is REALLY bad at this point as he’s completely unpolished and was just a really hard worker. Page hooks a cobra clutch as his offense was just all over the place at this point. I don’t think he had the Diamond Cutter yet. Apparently the future world champion taught Randy Orton how to wrestle given all of these chinlocks.

This is ridiculous anymore with all the rest holds. It always makes me wonder: what are they resting from? And then Taylor throws DDP into the corner and rolls him up for the pin. Again, it was like they ran out of time and had to finish all of a sudden.

Rating: D-. Dude, TERRY TAYLOR was on PPV in 1994. Why would I want to pay my money to watch this nonsense?

The WCW announcer from Germany is here. And moving on.

Spring Stampede is the next PPV. Again, that one is coming as it Slamboree 94 so I’ll have all PPVs from 1994 covered.

Johnny B. Badd vs. Jimmy Garvin

I have to put up with his entrance twice tonight. What bus full of nuns did I run over in a previous life? The Freebirds would be gone in about two months. This is another one of those matches that have no business being on PPV but it is anyway and will get at least ten minutes. I get that this was Flair’s first time booking, but seriously, get him some better talent and have Flair think some more. In the last match it was a lot of chinlocks.

This is a lot of using the armbar. Oh and a lot of strutting. This is another one of those matches that just isn’t interesting at all but they just keep going with it anyway because they have to fill time. I hate matches like that. Let’s have another armbar while we’re at it.

Garvin controls most of the match because it makes sense for a guy that wasn’t very good in the first place to “not wrestle for two years” to come back and dominate the younger and better guy in Badd. Badd gets his big knockout punch and then has to go up top for the sunset flip off the top. Post match the heels beat up Badd with what would become known as the Stunner.

Rating: D. Again, WHY WOULD I PAY FOR THIS STUFF??? Garvin isn’t even a big name other than from about 7 years before. This would be like having Maven wrestle on Raw. There’s no point to it and the match was boring anyway.

Vader is banging a chair against a wall and shouts no interviews at Gene.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Arn Anderson

The real man’s man is the champion here. The idea here was simple: they just kept telling these two to go out and have a 25-30 minute war so they did about 4-5 times, including here. The only problem here was that the fans didn’t really want to see these two do that match this often, as a lot of the time they were about 10 minutes of chinlocks and rest holds. They were interesting to a point, but once they fell off they fell off quickly.

We have Buffer doing the intro here so you know it’s a big deal. Anderson is said to be from Apple Valley, Minnesota. Is that some nickname for Minneapolis which is where he’s been from EVERY OTHER TIME? The title looks different here and they should have stuck with that one as it’s much better looking than the one that it usually was. They start with a long wrestling sequence which is ok but it’s just kind of boring. Screw the kind of aspect. This is boring already.

Bobby tries to push the PPV to people to buy it halfway through. He does get in a good NASCAR line saying that if he wanted to watch cars go by he’d go sit by the interstate. That’s very true actually. We’re six minutes in and they’re still feeling each other out. Regal busts out a nip up. That came from nowhere. Regal works on the arm. He works on it very slowly, but he is indeed working on it. Arn works on Regal’s arm.

I wish someone would work on my arm so I’d have something to be interested in. We’ll ignore the big bandage on Regal’s leg because it would make too much sense to do that I guess. This is just a freaking boring match. There’s a ton of arm work but it’s like they’re just meandering from spot to spot as Arn FINALLY works on the bad leg after 25 freaking minutes. Seriously, this has gone nearly half an hour now.

Anderson is covered in glitter from Badd. He deserves better than this. Sir William, Regal’s manager keeps losing and regaining his accent. That’s always amusing. They keep announcing the time remaining which doesn’t mesh with the time I have on the counter here. And with 10 seconds to go Anderson goes for a sunset flip and the manager throws the umbrella up there so Regal can grab it and holds it for the pin. That makes me hate this show in ways I never thought possible.

Rating: D. I sat through 30 minutes for that? Seriously, they made this 30 minutes long??? Was everyone injured or something? Steamboat is in a suit and he couldn’t have had a 5 minute match or something to cut about ten off of this? That’s freaking DUMB man. This went 27 minutes. That’s just unforgivable.

We get a quick recap of Jack and Payne vs. the Nasties. The Nastys lost a non title match. That’s all there is to it.

Tag Titles: Cactus Jack/Maxx Payne vs. Nasty Boys

Naturally we get the big match intros which mean nothing here. Payne was annoying and not that good. Jack is of course epically awesome. Some very hot blonde is at ringside. I’m pretty sure Cactus and Payne are the faces here. They again try so hard to make someone, Payne in this case, a big deal and it still doesn’t work. The fans are dea here despite the company trying to push Cactus as a big deal.

Two to one says the champions keep their belts. Payne was one of those guys that never did anything but was supposed to be a big deal anyway. He’s more commonly known as Man Mountain Rock in case you didn’t know that one. Who thought this was a good matchup anyway? Cactus comes in for the hot tag to clean house and the match picks up a bit.

This is far less of a match and far more of a fight, which makes sense given that the second most talented guy in the match is freaking Brian Knobbs. HOKEY SMOKE Foley just got knocked from the apron to the exposed concrete and landed on his freaking HEAD. He’s got to have a concussion. He has to. So the idiot Sags kicks him in the head. Keep in mind, you can see them TONIGHT on Impact!

They have to bring up Lost in Cleveland after that. That’s a story we’ll cover someday. Think of the dumbest angle you’ve ever heard of. This is worse. This feels like one of those bad ECW matches that they have a bad name for putting on time and time again. The rematch would be far better but that’s not saying a lot. This thing needs to end, like NOW. Payne gets his armbar (yeah that’s his finisher) on Knobbs but Sags gets a guitar shot to him for the DQ to end it.

Rating: D. It’s an ok brawl but a terrible match. The Cactus bump was great but just another reason why Foley isn’t going to know his name about three years from now. Still though, this could have been far worse but it was boring stuff. Why have these guys try to wrestle?

Flair says he wants Vader but mentions Hogan also. Yeah he was locked in already. Steamboat is glad he’s the number one contender. Anderson shows up to offer his support as well.

They cut the lights for the cage to be lowered and Tony says hide your wallets since it’s dark and Heenan is in the building. That made me laugh.

Steve Austin/Rick Rude/Paul Orndorff vs. Sting/Dustin Rhodes/Brian Pillman

Austin is feuding with Rhodes, Rude is feuding with Sting and I don’t remember Orndorff vs. Pillman. Think of Thundercage as a weak Hell in a Cell but it’s the same idea, minus a top to it. It curves to the top though so it’s kind of like the red Terrordome that TNA uses. That’s good: a combination HIAC and Terrordome. Austin vs. Sting is an awesome matchup that would have made MILLIONS in 1998.

Apparently Austin is feuding with Pillman and Rhodes is having a small feud with Orndorff. That makes more sense I guess. They actually have to tag in and out. Why? It’s a freaking cage match for crying out loud. Pillman is busted just a tiny bit. Rude is the International Champion, which is a parody/replacement for the NWA Title. It would be merged with the WCW Title soon enough. Ok, upon further review, the cage doesn’t come up like Terrordome.

It just curves up a tiny bit. It’s a cheap version of HIAC. Go with that instead. Sting gets the hot tag to clean house, but that’s freaking stupid because it’s A CAGE MATCH! For one thing the star power is helping a lot here. Before this it felt like a bunch of midcard matches. Now we’re getting some big names. Ok just two but it’s better than nothing I guess. Dustin comes in and punches the tar out of Orndorff.

Rude comes in and counters the bulldog, Dustin’s finisher, to take back over. Rude would get hurt against Sting soon to end his career. Austin gets slammed into the cage to finally use the stupid thing. He’s US Champion here mind you, even though that means nothing at all. It finally breaks down and they all go in at once. Sting gorilla presses Brian and throws him at Austin for the pin. Sting gets beaten up by Rude afterwards. They were supposed to fight the next month but it didn’t happen.

Rating: C+. Better than anything else tonight but not by much. The star power helped a lot here. The match isn’t bad at all but it’s far from great. This was mainly about Sting vs. Rude and it came off pretty well. It’s not great but it’s a breath of air here so there we go.

We recap Flair vs. Vader. It’s the rematch but Flair was injured in a tag match at Clash of the Champions. The match was off but now it’s back on. This took 5 minutes to explain.

WCW World Title: Vader vs. Ric Flair

Big Boss Man is the referee remember. It doesn’t mean anything but he was signed recently so here he is. He would also fight Vader for the better part of a year. Vader’s attire is different as his chest is covered. I’d guess injury or something. Naturally this is a fight more than a match. Vader dominates but just like at Starrcade Flair keeps fighting back here and there. Boss Man (Heenan’s words, not mine) gets nailed and handcuffed to the cage as Race comes in.

Note: Race almost fell through one of the squares. Anderson and Steamboat come out and try for the door because they’re idiots. Steamboat smacks the lock with a chair but it won’t work. He clearly says son of a  gun, breaking my feeble world at the same time. Boss Man ribs the cuffs off the cage and hits Vader with a nightstick in the knee so Flair puts some leg lock on him.

Note that I didn’t say Figure Four as that’s not what it was. They blew the heck out of whatever it was and Boss Man calls for the bell without even looking at Vader. Flair keeps the title and gets Steamboat next month.

Rating: D. Somehow this got 11 minutes. Yeah, the main event got eleven minutes, or about what Taylor and DDP got. The insanity started about 6 minutes in. Even the Attitude Era wasn’t that bad. This was a total disaster and rushed on top of that. I’ve seen worse cage matches, but not that many of them. This would have been FAR better with about 5-7 more minutes. At least it would have felt more like a main event. But hey, Regal had armbars and chinlocks to use in that time I guess.

Overall Rating: D-. This was just awful all around. Nothing is interesting, nothing is any good, the main event is crap, the first 3 or 4 matches belong on Power Hour or something, and nothing wound up mattering anyway. This show was terrible but since it was never released on VHS, it’s not like most people would have access to it anyway. Maybe that was the point.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




On This Day: February 11, 1996 – SuperBrawl VI: Get Us To The NWO Already

Superbrawl VI
Date: February 11, 1996
Location: Bayfront Arena, St. Petersburg, Florida
Attendance: 7,200
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Dusty Rhodes

So this is an infamous show online for one match which I’ll get to later. It more or less changed a good portion of wrestling due to a joke for smarks and smarks alone, but it didn’t go well. Also it shows the issue of worked shoots. Other than that, Hogan vs. Giant in a cage and Savage vs. Flair for the title. Riveting I know. Savage won it back on Nitro and this is the like 9th world title match between them. Not sure if that’s an exaggeration or not.  Let’s get to it.

I have no idea who that person is that they got to do the voiceover here, but he needs to stop. Totally unfair to let a guy that hasn’t gone through his voice change yet do work like this. Tony talks about how you settle a feud in a cage. True I guess. We have to have a cage match after one guy fell off a roof right

Public Enemy vs. Nasty Boys

Now take notes here you fans that want to learn how to be technical master. This is going to be what NOT to do. It’s a street fight which means hardcore in WCW terms. The Nastys are wearing tennis shoes. Why? Apparently it’s so they can move easily. Sure why not. We’re already on the floor. The Public Enemy bailed on Heyman for a little while but they would be back. Sags wears Rocco out with a chair. Nice shots.

We bust out a table and Rock goes through it. But remember, WCW NEVER stole anything from ECW. Pay no attention to WCW using ECW guys and doing their signature ECW stuff. Pay no attention to it at all, because WCW NEVER used any ECW stuff. Simply misunderstood. Bobby tries to figure out what plundah is. Bobby, as a promoter said to you many moon ago, USE YOUR BRAIN and stay out of there.

Dusty isn’t someone you want to try to understand or want to understand for that matter. There’s only one referee here of course, which is just idiotic. Grunge throws soda in Knobbs’ eyes. Dusty says it was acid. Ok then. We go split screen. This can’t be a good thing.

They’re all spent now so this slows WAY down. Fans kind of care but not really. Rock misses a dive from the stands and crashes through a table. Knobbs pins him. This was just idiotic. On a replay we see Rock getting suplexed through a table. The problem is the table doesn’t break where he lands on it. Nice job of protecting stuff there guys.

Rating: D-. Just a brawl here but nothing of note here at all. It just wasn’t very good at all, even for a big sloppy brawl. I have no idea what the point of this was but it didn’t work well at all. Just boring and I think I’ve padded this well enough.

Konnan reads a promo in Spanish, thanking the fans. He reads it off of a teleprompter but whatever. Gene mentions that on the hotline there’s a rumor of two WWF guys jumping here in a few months. Any guesses who those two would become?

TV Title: Johnny B. Badd vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Hey they’re a spot lower on the card! DDP has nothing left but his money so he’s putting that up here vs. the girl and the title. Kimberly is more or less a cheerleader here. They have a massive check that just says CASH on it. It’s so beyond stupid I can’t even fathom it. You can see someone that looks a lot like Linda Hogan in the crowd. These two usually have good chemistry so I can live with that.

Badd throws him over the top but they of course alter the rules AGAIN saying that Badd was on the apron and it might not have been deliberate. This is one of my favorite aspects of these matches as I get to hear the excuses for that idiotic rule. Most amusing. Badd counters more or less everything Dallas does which is pretty decent I guess you would say. The crowd is into this so I can’t complain much.

Bobby makes a great point: Badd is trying to win the money so he can hand it to Kimberly? Why? What can Badd gain here? He’s beaten DDP like 4 times now and can lose his title here. What can he gain here? Kimberly’s acting makes Stephanie look like Meryl Streep. Page is in control but he does NOTHING but showboat after he hits a big move. Even Heenan is yelling at him about it. He hit a tornado DDT and literally walks around yelling at the fans and Kimberly for FORTY seconds.

Badd doesn’t move at all the whole time. DDP isn’t very good. Like at all. He just isn’t very good at all and it’s kind of pitiful. Not sure why but it just comes off like that. Pedro Morales is shown. Pay no attention to the two count and the crowd popping during that shot of Pedro either. I’m sure it meant nothing at all. We’re about 10 minutes into this and Heenan says Badd has been worn down these past 20 minutes.

Did he get beaten up by a bus full of nuns before the match? Did a wild moose stomp him for not paying him for that six dollars he borrowed? Top rope sunset flip gets two. A pretty bad Batista Bomb gets two. They trade sleepers. I’m a bit bored here. And then Badd hits a Tombstone of all things for the pin.

Points for them using something other than their finishers to end the match. There was supposed to be one more match at Uncensored but Badd left to become Mark Mero like a little coward. At least that’s what they called him after it. Badd would drop the belt to Luger before leaving.

Rating: C+. Not bad I guess, but DANG I’m tired of seeing these two fight. This is what, four straight PPVs for them? We get it: DDP can’t beat Johnny B. Badd. Do you need to tell us that a thousand times? It was competitive, but there was no way Page was winning and everyone knew it.

Harlem Heat talks about their title match against Sting and Luger who beat them for the titles recently. Booker was clearly better than Stevie back then. Apparently the winner of this next match gets to fight the Road Warriors later in the night. Not for the titles mind you, but for the chance for a future title shot. Makes sense right?

Ok apparently later is for the tag titles. At least that makes more sense.

WCW Tag Titles: Sting/Lex Luger vs. Harlem Heat

Apparently the Road Warriors are guaranteeing the champions retain. I wonder who is winning here. Luger pulls an Eric Young and gets scared by the pyro. That’s rather amusing. Was Sting EVER not a champion? He was one of the only guys that wasn’t crushed by Hogan, which was nice as I was and still am a Sting fan. Tony and Bobby get into a debate about wrestlers on rollercoasters. Just go with it.

Sting and Booker start us off. That’s a plus. Also it’s nice to see a career tag team like Luger and Sting. They feuded at times, but they at least teamed together on and off for years. The main thing here is Sting is pure face and Luger is about half heel at least. They don’t get along, but they’re really good partners. Actually the not getting along part is a stretch. They get along, but Sting really doesn’t like Luger’s tactics.

And now we talk about the double main event for no apparent reason. If WCW announcers stayed on topic for more than 8 seconds at a time I’d be STUNNED. Did Luger ever hit that big elbow he would use? I don’t think so. Apparently no one comes to WCW shows and there is no TV, as Tony says the only way to watch WCW, not WCW PPVs but just WCW, is on Pay Per View. Got it.

Thanks for admitting no one watched Nitro Tony. Luger gets a clothesline to the chest. That looked weird. Stevie messes up a powerbomb. That was AWFUL looking. Stevie proceeds to hold Luger’s neck with no visable pressure on it. Wow that’s idiotic looking. And let’s look at the crowd. Sure why not?

Booker is in now and continues to bore the heck out of the crowd in his control of Luger. Sting gets a tag and the referee doesn’t see it. Sting comes in anyway. Love face tactics like that one. And here are the Road Warriors to hit Stevie in the ribs with something metal. Luger falls on top for the pin. At least it’s over.

Rating: D. This was just BORING. It’s not bad at all I guess, but dang this just wasn’t interesting at all. Should be noted that Sting didn’t see Animal hitting him in the ribs. This was just boring though and while the wrestling is ok, I just wanted it to end in the second half.

Gene asks Luger about the ending but Luger cuts him off. Sting still doesn’t know about it I don’t think.

US Title: Konnan vs. One Man Gang

So like I mentioned in the Starrcade review, Gang won the title and Konnan took it from him. Here’s your rematch. Konnan actually cared at this point and it was very apparent. He’s moving all over the place at this point and doing all kinds of weird and big spots that are working really well. To be fair though, I could give Gang a run for his money I think.

Konnan runs around and beats up Gang for about two minutes, as in the first two minutes of the match, but Gang gets one shot in and Dusty proclaims that Konnan has barely been on offense. That’s just amusing. A side slam is called a side salto. Apparently Gang has been called one of the best men in the business for years. What kind of undiscovered years are those Tony? Konnan is selling well too here which is helping a lot also.

Let’s show the WCW NASCAR driver for like 30 seconds. Not like we can have anything of note going on in the ring at the moment. There was a WCW Motorsports? Since when? Gang hits his splash and pulls him up. That should more or less seal this one. Gang goes to the middle rope (called the very top by Tony) and misses to ZERO, I mean ZERO reaction. Konnan goes up and hits a front flip onto Gang for the pin. Wow this was bad.

Rating: D-. Again, One Man Gang as a title contender? What in the heck were they thinking??? This was again just bad and the crowd was deader than Konnan’s career. Terrible match.

The Road Warriors will get the tag belts tonight apparently.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Brian Pillman

This is the match I was referring to earlier when I said there was a massive smark joke. This is a strap match where you have to get your opponent to say I RESPECT YOU into a microphone to end it. Fair enough. Pillman sprints to the ring and they have a very unconventional looking fight. It looks very, dare I say, real?

Pillman gets a few shots in, Sullivan gets a few shots in, and then Pillman runs over to the referee, grabs the mic and famously says “I respect you….booker man.” He then leaves. The never even got the strap unraveled to put it on their wrists. After standing around for a bit, here’s Arn Anderson for an impromptu match.

Rating: N/A. This might have broken 45 seconds. Explanation coming in a minute.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Arn Anderson

Anderson is in street clothes here. Seeing him in shorts is weird. Anderson takes his shirt off and we’re getting a match apparently. The Horsemen had been feuding with the Dungeon of Doom in case you were looking for what Anderson had to do with this. If nothing else there’s a point to having Anderson there so it makes sense.

Anderson grabs the mic and has to stop himself from cursing. He beats the living tar out of Sullivan and neither guy will say it. Flair finally runs out and says that this doesn’t need to happen, saying they don’t need to fight, more or less starting the Alliance To End Hulkamania. Flair saved this segment. Flair rants about Hogan and leaves.

Rating: D. Not even a match but for something totally unplanned to fill about 5 minutes this was fine. I’m going to cut this grade short to get to the explanation. Can’t really blame them in an impromptu situation though.

Ok, so what the heck just happened? In short, everyone, including Anderson and Flair, just got worked. Sullivan and Pillman cooked up this idea to have a “shoot” match and a “shoot” angle. This was back in the day where smarks were gaining accessibility to information via the internet. The biggest bit of news was that Sullivan was the booker for WCW, as in he picked most of the matches that aired.

The fans found this out, so Sullivan and Pillman did this kind of as a nod to them. There was one problem: They didn’t tell ANYBODY else. To everyone but them, Pillman had just totally broken kayfabe on national TV and walked out on a match. Sullivan knew what was going on, but the announcers didn’t, the fans didn’t, the executives didn’t, and the wrestlers didn’t.

They threw Anderson out there to try to put on something to make it look “real” in a kayfabe sense and I guess Flair came out there because they didn’t know what else to do or he was the planned ending of the other match. Anyway, later that night Pillman and Sullivan explained what was going on to the roster and a few executives and smoothed a lot of this over. Obviously Sullivan let them keep going with it because it was about half his idea.

So I think the next night on Nitro, Pillman did another “shoot” (remember that it’s all planned but it comes off like it’s real, as in real life real but it’s still all planned) where he says he wants out of his contract and to be released. Here’s where it goes insane: WCW RELEASED HIM. The very higher ups, as in the guys that handled contracts, didn’t know that this was all planned and the roster was in on it, so they let him go.

The thing was, Pillman had no problem with leaving and was in ECW like a day later. He hung out there for a couple of months and then was in WWF free and clear. Now, Bischoff in his book claimed to know about this and that it was all planned for Pillman to go to ECW, but no one other than Bischoff has ever made anything close to such a claim. In short, I don’t buy Bischoff knowing about this for a second.

For one thing, Sullivan had control over the on screen product to an extent so it’s not like he would have needed Bischoff’s permission for this. Also, with Bischoff stealing talent from ECW at the time, such as Konnan, Benoit, Malenko and Psicosis to name a few, something tells me there was NO WAY Heyman would have been in the mood to let Bischoff have a favor like that. As a worked shoot though, this was one of the best ever as even Flair and Anderson bought it apparently.

Giant and Jimmy Hart say they’ll beat Hogan tonight. He’s still not any good on the mic, but he’s trying.

Tag Titles: Road Warriors vs. Sting/Lex Luger

There’s a very nice little face/heel thing as Sting slaps hands but Luger, who is behind him, doesn’t. Nicely done. Luger tries to leave but Sting talks to him and gets him to come back. Thanks for wasting our time like that. And now we do that again. Is this in Memphis or something? Seriously we’re just waiting around here. Heenan gets a good line in by saying that the Road Warriors were at a restaurant today and 4 people hung their coats on their spikes.

Dusty calls them the Legion of Doom. I think that’s been said in WCW before but I’m not sure. Hey Sting is in! Luger….not so much. Luger runs AGAIN. This is rather annoying. He hasn’t been in the ring yet and was introduced 3 minutes ago. Ladies and Gentlemen, LEX ORTON! Sting could dance a softshoe and it would be more entertaining here. Four minutes plus and he’s FINALLY on the apron.

Dang I was looking forward to Sting dancing. Wow that’s an odd thought. Sting takes a dropkick and sells it like he got shot. This is a bizarre match. The Road Warriors are wrestling them. This is weird stuff man. Luger comes in and not a lot changes at first. The challengers are mad at him over some undisclosed thing done on Nitro. Apparently Luger screwed them over somehow and they’re mad about it.

Yeah they’re mad and they’re using arm bars. Why does this seem idiotic to me? Sting gets a top rope splash that misses. That looked awesome though. Sting might be the most complete wrestler ever. Is there a point to this anywhere in the near future? I highly doubt it.

We get the big brawl and naturally there’s a double DQ. This is the closest we would get to a showdown here as Sting and Booker would team up at Uncensored to fight them in a dumb and complex angle. Just terrible.

Rating: F+. What the heck was the point of this? Seriously, the Road Warriors were trying to wrestle. Yeah it failed completely. Just a terrible match overall and it came off really badly. I was bored out of my mind for about 15 minutes and that’s rare for me.

Flair says his usual stuff. His facials are of course great though.

Savage’s bad arm which was good at World War 3 is now bad again. Savage got the title back after losing it at Starrcade which isn’t mentioned yet. The cage is lowered.

Liz, looking GORGEOUS in a tight blue dress, is interrupted by Savage who looks especially awesome for no apparent reason. He naturally talks about Hogan before doing his regular promo. My cousin looks like Liz actually. Minus the whole now dead part.

WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage

Yes, Hogan goes on last, ahead of the world title. For those of you that read my TNA rants, this is where I got the idea that he would do stuff like that. Woman was hot back in the day too. To say Liz was gorgeous would be an understatement. Flair cuts a short promo and more or less laughs at Savage. And say it with me: he stalls. Savage goes at him like a crazy man. Always good to see a character being able to act like himself in there.

Remember the top on the cage? It must be invisible. Naturally there’s no top on it. That doesn’t make this a cage match. It makes it a fence match. And two minutes in, Flair punches the referee. Ok then. Well at least he’s Flair so it makes sense. Flair gets a backslide but there’s no referee. He’s back up like 20 seconds later. Was there a point to that that I’m just missing? They mention there’s no Benoit so far tonight.

Yeah we can have the Nasty Boys vs. Public Enemy, One Man Gang getting a TITLE MATCH and two Sting/Luger matches, but we can’t fit Benoit, a Horsemen, on the card. See what I’m getting at when I criticize Hogan’s questionable booking practices? Guys like Benoit, one of the most talented workers of all time, can’t make a PPV card? Seriously? Give me a break. Is there a referee shortage tonight?

This guy has refereed like three matches so far. Savage hooks a figure four on Flair which is always a nice touch. Unless Dusty does it. Then it just freaking sucks. For no apparent reason, Savage lets go of it. Ok then. Savage goes to the top of the cage. Being the rocket scientist that he is, he climbs down and keeps the title. Naturally he doesn’t jump down while he has a ten second advantage that a feeble old man could have managed to escape the cage inside of.

Nah he couldn’t do something like that. Only an idiot would do something like that. Not Savage. Nope not him. He’s too level headed to do that. The match is already over and he’s in the shower. OH OF COURSE HE JUMPS ON FLAIR.

Flair controlling now as I wonder what kind of crack most faces are on to be so stupid. Has there ever been an intelligent main event level face? I mean dude, CLIMB THE HECK DOWN! Figure Four is let go of again, this time by Flair. ARE THERE ANY INTELLIGENT HEELS??? Woman can scream louder than Melina. Think about that for a minute. Flair is bleeding. And there go his trunks. Can we fast forward on that part?

Savage gets a cover and they ring the bell early. Did the ring announcer just release early after seeing Flair’s trunks go down? Seriously? That can’t be a good sign. Dare I say Flair is sauntering? It certainly looks like he is. And now we see them come down againAGAIN. DANG IT USE TAPE OR SOMETHING! And now Savage and he are on the top rope where he pounds Flair from behind while he’s exposed. I love double entendres.

Flair apparently is energized by ramming his head into the cage. The door is opened for no apparent reason. Due to Flair’s heavy bleeding, we go to a wide shot. When I say wide I mean you can see the second or third row on all sides. Woman throws powder that misses. Liz turns heel by giving her shoe to Flair as we get a nod to the Mania 8 ending as Savage rolls Flair up for two.

A shoe shot to the face gives the title to Flair. Seeing Liz smile is worth it. Great to see the new champion’s face in that wide shot where you can see half the crowd. Hogan comes out to chase the girls (write your own jokes) and goes after Flair and Anderson, who just ran down here, with a chair but it doesn’t work. Tony says nothing can be done about the cheating because it’s basically a cage match. I thought it was a cage match literally but then again I’m no professional.

Rating: B+. Solid match here with a legit surprising ending. It’s no classic, but it’s good indeed. Flair vs. Savage had a tendency to prove that main event matches could be classics without Hogan being involved. Hmm and oddly enough Hogan consistently beat them both for the title. I wonder if there’s a coincidence there. Anyway, very good match.

Hogan rants about Liz and has one eye bandaged thanks to a shoe to the eye last week. He says he now has no guard on his blind side. Boo hoo.

The Giant vs. Hulk Hogan

It’s another cage match. Yeah we couldn’t end on the great cage match. We need HOGAN BLAST IT! Giant is introduced as the man that literally returned from the dead at Halloween Havoc. Why can no one learn the meaning of that word? Hart is called a dapper gentleman. What the heck ? LOUD Hogan sucks chant just after the bell rings. That’s just amusing. But remember, the fans don’t know what they want and they really love Hogan.

Seriously, what do you expect here? It’s Hogan vs. a monster in a cage match. You know the drill I’m sure. Dusty says Hogan doesn’t fight for money or anything like that. WOW. Giant stomps on his fingers. That must have made rubbing lotion on his 19 year old daughter difficult. Poor choice of words. Actually it isn’t. Giant pulls Hogan to his knees and Tony credits it to the fans and Hulkamania.

I would say taking a shot every time the announcers suck up to Hogan is a great drinking game but in reality it’s a recipe for suicide. The announcers point out the idiocy of not going for Hogan’s eye when there’s a huge bandage on it. Actually you could argue that going for the other eye would be smarter but you get the idea. Ah now he’s going for the eye. There we are. Might not be a good idea to suggest having Hogan fight blind.

It might give him an idea to throw a fireball at someone so they’ll make a big comeback while blind. Sadly, that happened against Warrior in 98. Naturally it didn’t work and Hogan nearly lost his eyebrows when throwing the fireball. That might be the worst match ever. Sweet goodness this is boring. No use of the cage yet either. Say it with me: perfect timing on that. And now let’s hit a bearhug. Brain thinks you wouldn’t want to lose your sight.

The fans are seemingly bored here. They still love Hogan though. Oh I know: they’re holding their breath in fear for their hero right? The chokeslam is called a chokehold. And remember, Schiavone knew all kinds of dives and planchas at Starrcade, but with Hogan he doesn’t know that when you choke a man and slam him at the same time it’s a chokeslam. Sure why not. Oh NOW it’s a chokeslam.

Tony makes me cringe by saying Hogan came back from the chokeslam like Giant came back from FALLING OFF THE ROOF OF COBO HALL. Yes, a chokeslam is equal to falling off a roof. Only in WCW. Three legs hit and Giant sits up like Undertaker. Tony cracks up laughing. Great selling there buddy. They fight on the top rope, Giant falls with a THUD, Hogan climbs over and we’re done.

Rating: F+. On a house show, this is a fine main event. For one of the biggest PPVs of the year, this was boring. Just boring on so many levels and nothing but a massive blowjob for Hogan from the announcers. Just 15 minutes of Hogan praise, but we’re not done yet.

Hogan gets in the ring with a chair and here comes the Dungeon of Doom. I count 8 people in there, including Giant. THEY DON’T LAND A SINGLE SHOT. Hogan literally is beating up 8 guys on his own. And here’s the Lock Ness Monster, a guy that weighed 700lbs that was there like four months.

He can’t get in because the Dungeon holds him back. Read that as he’s too fat to get through the door. Yes, Hogan just beat up EIGHT GUYS ON HIS OWN AFTER A FIFTEEN MINUTE CAGE MATCH AGAINST A FORMER WORLD CHAMPION. I can’t believe what I just saw. Oh wait. It’s Hogan. Sure I can. Abyss’ theme music takes us out.

Overall Rating: D-. Just WOW. There is one good match on this card. One. That’s it. That match was the world title match and of course, Hogan BEATING UP EIGHT GUYS AT ONCE goes on last. When I say he beat them up, I mean no one touched him. It was like seeing an arcade master play the first level of an easy game. That’s pitiful. How deep did he bury those guys with that nonsense?

Do you have any idea how bad they look now? Seven of them are FRESH and they can’t get a single shot in on a guy that’s had a 15 minute match. I mean seriously, how inept did they just look? To top it off, Hogan would get a cage match against most of them plus 2 more monsters and would beat them officially with the help of Savage next month.

It was those two matches that more or less killed any realistic credibility he had as a face for years, resulting in the heel turn. This was an abomination and is only what it’s rated as because of the good world title match and the passable TV Title match. This was horrible and it can more or less be solely placed on Hogan and his pushing of his buddies. Just awful. GET US TO THE NWO!

 

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SuperBrawl 1997: Who Knew Alcatraz Was So Easily Hijacked?

Superbrawl 1997
Date: February 23, 1997
Location: Cow Palace, San Francisco, California
Attendance: 13,324
Commentators: Dusty Rhodes, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

I had a request to do Uncensored 97 and since I have every show from Beach Blast 93 through Souled Out 97 and there’s one show in between Souled Out and Uncensored, I figured I’d do that one show (Superbrawl) and then Uncensored. Wow that was a long sentence. Anyway the main event here is Hogan vs. Piper for the title because for absolutely no apparent reason, Starrcade was non-title. Let’s get to it.

We open in Alcatraz. As in inside the closed prison with Piper in a cell. Apparently he’s escaping to go to the arena to face Hogan. How much do you think this cost them to make? He had these videos playing for a long time so his shirt is in tatters and all that jazz. He gets on a sail boat and shouts at the city. That’s WCW for you.

We recap Malenko vs. Syxx. The idea is that Syxx has been stealing belts that don’t belong to him such as Eddie’s US Title and Dean’s Cruiserweight Title.

Cruiserweight Title: Syxx vs. Dean Malenko

Syxx has the belt itself but Dean is champion. There’s a huge space between the entrance and the aisle. Dean is all ticked off to start and hits a leg lariat for two but pulls Syxx up. Brainbuster gets two. Powerslam gets the same as this has been one sided for the first few minutes. Syxx gets caught in the Tree of Woe as this aggressive Dean is kind of cool. Doesn’t suit him at all but it’s kind of cool.

Cloverleaf doesn’t work so a cross body sends both guys to the floor. Back in the ring and Syxx finally gets a kick to the face to take Dean down. Syxx hits that three kick combination of his in the corner to set up a Bronco Buster. We hear about Barry Bonds coming to San Francisco which doesn’t mean much but the match is going kind of slowly and I need something to talk about.

Sleeper goes on for a bit as Malenko counters with a belly to back for two. Dean’s neck is messed up so Bobby suggests neckbreakers or piledrivers. Syxx goes with a brainbuster instead and follows with a guillotine legdrop for two. Love that move. Back to the sleeper as we talk about Hogan and Piper now and how everyone is concerned about Piper. Dean throws on a sleeper for irony I guess but they ram into each other and down they go.

The announcers debate trains for awhile and how they crash which is annoying as my grandmother is currently heading to Washington via train. Syxx gets crotched on the top but reverses a belly to back off the top into a cross body to put Dean down. Syxx goes for the belt and Eddie IMMEDIATELY sprints out to stop him. Tug of war winds up sending the belt into Dean’s head for the pin and the NWO’s third title.

Rating: C. Pretty good match here which set up Eddie vs. Dean later I think. This was fine with the Cruiserweight formula of mat based guy (well kind of) being a heel vs. the fast paced guy (again kind of) being the face. Nothing very good here and not the best choice for an opener but I’ve seen far worse before.

DDP has a match with someone in the NWO tonight but doesn’t know against who so he runs down the list of the possible opponents. Gene thinks Buff Bagwell and what do you know he gets word that it’s him.

Konnan/La Parka/Villano IV vs. Ciclope/Super Calo/Juventud Guerrera

Not sure if this is trios rules or just a regular match. Calo’s team is the face team. Villano vs. Ciclope to start us off as we talk about Ray Stevens who passed away about 10 months earlier. Villano apparently means villain which is named after a character that all the Villanos’ father played in an El Santo movie back in the 50s. These guys are a bit bigger than most luchadores but it doesn’t matter as we’re off to Konnan and Juvy.

Rolling clothesline puts Guerrera down but a springboard dropkick changes momentum. And never mind as Konnan remembers he’s the real star here and beats up everyone to bring in Parka to face Calo. It’s moving too fast here to really keep track of it. Calo sends him to the floor and hits a slingshot Swanton. Parka puts him in a chair as selling is completely forgotten here and crashes into him.

Villano vs. Ciclope again as we’ve started all over apparently. Ciclope TOTALLY botches a moonsault to the floor as he veers to the left and lands hard. Off to Parka vs. Juvy with Parka hitting what we would call a Whisper in the Wind. Slingshot rana by Juvy gets two. Villano and Konnan get what was supposed to be a Doomsday Device on Juvy and follow it with a double leglock.

Everyone goes in and it was a six man submission hold/pin attempt at the same time. Everything breaks down and they all get tossed around with Konnan and Villano left standing. They do a four person leg hold called the Star and Parka puts Juvy in a surfboard in the middle. Triple suicide dive by the faces with Juvy completely missing Konnan but he tried. Back in the ring Konnan gets two on a Power Drop (Razor’s Edge into a sitout powerbomb) but they call it three despite Juvy’s arm being up maybe a second early.

Rating: C. Well that was something. I have no idea what it was but it was something. This was just another random Mexican Cruiserweight match which wasn’t very good but they were trying to pop the fans a bit. Not enough dives to make the fans care but it definitely got your attention. Not sure if that’s a good thing or not though.

TV Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Prince Iaukea

WCW put their midcard title on a Samoan by beating a blueblood just after Rocky Maivia did in the WWF. No reason given why Iaukea, who meant nothing, popped up to become a champion but I’m sure it wasn’t copying WWF. Not at all. Rey is still young and awesome here with both knees intact. Technical stuff to start with no one being able to get an extended advantage.

The Prince misses a springboard shot but gets a kick to the face for two. Off to the floor as Dusty talks about becoming a king. Bobby wants to know what he’s a prince of, suggesting Omaha. Big dive by Iaukea takes Rey down on the floor and he takes over. The fans get distracted by something in the audience as he hits a suplex on Rey and we hit the chinlock.

Iaukea is more or less the default heel because only an idiot (or Russo) would try to make Rey a heel. Prince tries to come off the top but gets caught by a dropkick and a rana takes Iaukea to the floor. In a SICK bump, Rey lays him on the floor and gets a running dive through the ropes with a front flip to land on Iaukea (not a Swanton but more of a back splash).

Back in the ring and a spinwheel kick and falling moonsault (he stood on the top and dropped down onto the rope for the moonsault) get two for Rey. The Prince comes back with what would become known as an Angle Slam off the top as Regal, the former champion, comes down. They botch a top rope rana so they try a modified version of it. Regal pulls Rey down and his face goes into the apron, allowing Prince to pin him. He didn’t see Regal drop him on the apron.

Rating: C. Not bad here and the reason for Regal is Rey distracted Regal on Nitro to cost Regal the title. Not much of a match as the third straight cruiserweight style match got a bit tiring. Iaukea went nowhere after losing the title while Rey would go on to become Rey Mysterio. Always cool to see two different paths like this here.

Iaukea tries to give Rey the belt when he figures out Regal cheated but Rey doesn’t want it. So no one wants to be champion? I’ve heard of worse ways to kill a belt.

The Giant talks about how the Outsiders like to play mind games but tonight it’s his game at his speed. He has a handicap match later since Luger is hurt.

Buff Bagwell vs. Diamond Dallas Page

DDP is in the middle of the push of a lifetime by being the first guy to turn down the NWO so this could have been a stuffed panda in an NWO shirt and DDP would have fit in perfectly. Page isn’t quite the People’s Champion yet as he still has the cigar but it’s shaping up quickly. Very slow start as Page his some basic stuff, including a neckbreaker that Bagwell would use as a regular move in a few years.

Out to the floor as Bagwell gets a shot in and Dusty talks about various rambling things. Bagwell hasn’t been heel that long at this point so he doesn’t have his stuff down yet. Small package gets two for Page but he walks into a clothesline to take him down. The referee gets in Bagwell’s face in a funny bit. Discus clothesline and both guys are down. Heenan sounds drunk again.

Here comes the comeback as Bagwell is just a step above a jobber so it’s not much of a comeback. Helicopter bomb gets two even though it would be a propeller that didn’t spin that much. Diamond Cutter doesn’t work as Bagwell hits his Fisherman’s suplex finisher but wants the referee to count Page out for ten instead of covering him.

When that of course fails he tries a neckbreaker which is reversed into a Diamond Cutter to bring the crowd straight to its feet. And here’s the NWO G-Team of Mr. Wallstreet, Nick Patrick and Syxx for the save. Page actually runs from them because nothing spells fear like IRS and a referee. Page wins by DQ because we can’t have Buff Bagwell get pinned to hurt his credibility right?

Rating: D+. Just a match really with nothing of note going on. DDP could have realistically challenged any NWO person at this point so Bagwell was just the opponent of the night for him. The ending is pretty freaking stupid as the fans wanted to see Page win with the Diamond Cutter and it’s not like this was against Hogan. It’s against a lackey and a new one at that. What’s the point?

US Title: Chris Jericho vs. Eddie Guerrero

Gee think this will be good? The graphic says TV Title because WCW is stupid. Eddie is champion here and Jericho is still relatively unknown here having debuted in August but only doing random cruiserweight stuff. Let’s give him a shot at the second biggest title in the company on PPV! Tony says the wrong year for the first Superbrawl (it was 91).

Technical stuff to start and Eddie works on the legs a bit. Dusty rambles a lot and after we talk about the new generation we better talk about Hogan and Piper again. Crowd is DEAD because this is just a random title match with no particular rhyme or reason. Test of strength doesn’t prove anything and more technical stuff follows. Very back and forth match with no one getting an advantage.

Spinebuster sets up the Liontamer which doesn’t have a name yet and the announcers criticize it because they don’t get it yet. Off to a chinlock as Jericho has been winning for the majority of the match. Eddie is a bit off because he cost Dean the title earlier. Jericho gets a backbreaker on him which is more or less a torture rack. He drops down into another backbreaker for two.

They speed things up a bit and Jericho misses a cross body out of the corner and Eddie gets a powerbomb for two. Brainbuster looks to set up the frog splash but he rolls through it and Jericho gets a NICE release German to put both guys down. Things slow down a bit now and Eddie reverses a bunch of stuff before an overhead belly to belly gets two for Jericho. Eddie gets crotched on the top and a springboard dropkick puts him on the floor so Jericho can hit a pescado.

Back in Eddie catches him in an atomic drop as Chris comes off the top. They both try kicks (drop for Eddie, spinwheel for Jericho) and Jericho might have hurt his knee. They collide again and we’re both down again. Powerslam gets two for Jericho. Suplex reversal gets two for Eddie but he walks into a superkick and La Magistrol for two. Jericho counters a tornado DDT into a northern lights suplex for two. We get a reversal sequence and Eddie comes out with a sunset flip for the surprise pin.

Rating: B. Very good match here which is exactly what you would expect. Both guys worked very hard out there and I’d be shocked if this isn’t the runaway match of the night. That being said, neither guy would get anything out of it as Eddie dropped the title a month later and Jericho wouldn’t do anything until June when he won the Cruiserweight Title and was in that division for like a year.

Faces of Fear vs. Harlem Heat vs. Public Enemy

This was supposed to be a four corners match with the Steiners but the Outsiders and Syxx ran their car off the road to injure them, filmed it, and AIRED IT ON NITRO. Naturally the Steiners said let us win the titles in a match instead of, you know, PROSECUTING THEM AS FELONS! This isn’t for the #1 contender spot because the Steiners aren’t in it if that makes sense.

Rocco Rock is bald now. Rock and Barbarian start us off. Powerslam gets two for the Samoan/Tongan/stereotype of the island monster. Stevie comes in and Rock gets beaten up a bit more. Grunge comes in and Heat takes him down with ease. Booker gets the axe kick for two on Grunge. Dusty is of course losing his mind over everything here and won’t shut up.

Booker gets a side slam and a Spinarooni to set up the Harlem Side Kick to take Grunge down. Meng comes in and beats on Booker a lot, including hitting a dropkick of all things. Clubberin commences and Booker is in trouble. Belly to belly superplex gets two for Barbarian. Meng hits a Piledriver on Booker for two. The Islanders hit their signature powerbomb combo for two and everything breaks down. Public Enemy hits a double team move off the top with no tag whatsoever and the referee is like whatever and gets the pin on Barbarian. Sure why not.

Rating: D-. So this was a bad match with nothing on the line and the ending was completely against tag team rules. Well of course it was. And this made it to PPV. Having Tony remind us that even though Public Enemy won a big tag team match but ARE NOT #1 contenders really points out how stupid this was.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve McMichael

Mongo is a Horseman and if Jarrett wins, he gets to be the fifth Horseman, which would be Benoit, Flair, Anderson, Mongo and Jarrett. This is when Jarrett had long hair, country music and not a shred of credibility. Flair and Anderson are out with injuries at this point so this is more or less an attempt to build up a new generation. Also Debra is in the middle of all this.

Someone keeps ringing a cowbell at ringside. Jarrett gets a hiptoss and struts a bit. Powerslam gets no cover for Mongo. Debra stops Mongo and here comes Jarrett. Out to the floor again and it’s all Mongo. Terribly boring stuff here as Jarrett has no heat and Mongo isn’t anything good at all. It would be about a year and a half before Jarrett got anything resembling credibility which seemed to happen when he cut his hair.

Lots of choking and slow moving stuff here like walking around. Sleeper by Mongo and Jarrett gets a suplex to escape. Debra isn’t sure who to help. Cross body gets two for Jarrett and the referee goes down on the kickout. Mongo wants his briefcase but Debra says no, throwing it over his head so Jarrett can clock Mongo with it and become a Horseman.

Rating: D. This is one of those matches that is technically ok but at the same time there was nothing going on. They were in slow motion almost all the time and the stakes meant nothing as no one bought either guy as a Horseman. Weak match overall and of course they feuded forever, eventually over the US Title.

Chris Benoit vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is a death match which means street fight. Jackie is with Sullivan and Woman is with Benoit. The chicks will be strapped together for no apparent reason. These two feuded FOREVER and it never particularly went anywhere other than giving us one or two great matches and then the guys trying to redo the matches over and over again which never worked. This would be (I think/hope) the final one.

Both pairs start brawling and it’s a nice pop for that surprisingly. The women are the focus here of course as Benoit and Sullivan have the most basic match you can have that is still classified as pro wrestling. They’re suplexing each other, as in butterfly/regular varieties, in a DEATH match. Woman crotches Sullivan with the strap and the girls get unattached. Benoit gets hung, which I guess you could call foreshadowing?

Dusty freaks out because a woman is doing something so this is turned into a total joke. The girls beat on the guys as I want this to end very badly. The guys watch the girls then wake up and beat on each other. The girls get left in the ring as the guys fight up the aisle. It’s split screen time because WCW enjoys doing that for some reason.

The guys fight into the back and we’re on one screen now. They throw stuff at each other and it’s time to go back into the arena after about a minute or so. The referee, ever the genius, stayed with the girls instead of going to the back where a pin could have happened. Back in the ring and Benoit gets caught in the Tree of Woe, which is one of Sullivan’s finishers.

Woman saves and Benoit pops up to piledrive Sullivan. Jackie doesn’t hit Woman but she falls down anyway. It’s table time which wasn’t a well known wrestling thing yet so it was still a fairly big deal. Sullivan goes on the table, Jackie gets on top of him for the sake of protection, Benoit is like screw it and dives on both of them, the table doesn’t break, Sullivan is pinned under the table.

Rating: D. Terribly boring stuff here as this was a DEATH match and it was a comedy match. No idea what they thought the appeal to this would be but it didn’t work in the slightest. This feud was straight up played already so they kept going with it for months and months on end. Weak match, feud sucked, wasn’t funny.

LONG post match stuff sees everyone in the back not known as a wrestler comes out to help them and everyone goes out on a stretcher. Eats up like 6 minutes. Naturally Dusty says Hogan and Piper could end up like this. Can you imagine either of them either coming off the top or going through a table? Give me a break. Woman doesn’t look bad with her hair pulled back.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. The Giant

Ok so there’s a backstory here. Giant and Luger are partners but Luger has a broken hand/arm and couldn’t get a doctor’s clearance in time so Giant has to go this alone. Syxx is with the champs. Hall starts off here with the idea being to tick Giant off. Hall hammers away which seems to just be getting him in trouble. One armed slam by Giant and it’s off to Nash. This was the teased match for an entire year which didn’t happen until the following January because Nash didn’t want to job to Giant.

Giant gets a dropkick to send Nash to the floor and manhandles him with ease, including ramming him into the post. Elbow gets two back in the ring. Nash gets in a shot with the Cruiserweight Title and Hall adds what was supposed to be a bulldog but Hall manages to wind up behind Giant, making it more like a Zig Zag.

Basically this is 3-1 and that’s about what was expected. Nash misses the running pelvis to the head with Giant on the middle rope in a 619 position. That move REALLY needs a name. Off to Hall again who hammers away in the corner. Giant fights them off as Syxx comes in and slips the belt to Hall who drops Giant with it. Nash manages to powerbomb Giant in a cool spot as somehow we haven’t had a DQ yet.

Here’s Luger with a cast on to clean house. He Racks Nash who hurt his back on the powerbomb. That rings a bell for a submission somehow but wait, Nash wasn’t legal. Therefore Giant (illegal) chokeslams Hall, the legal man, and pins him for the definitive pin. Naturally this was overturned the next night on Nitro for literally no reason other than “that wasn’t legal” but it was a stupid moment so I can forgive it.

Rating: D+. Match was junk for the most part but that powerbomb was indeed awesome. Nash vs. Giant would FINALLY get blown off 11 months later because WCW saw no problem with Nash screwing over a PPV audience at Starrcade. Anyway, this was more stupid stuff that meant nothing if you were paying attention but it’s WCW so there you go.

We really have to do the main event now don’t we?

WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Roddy Piper

WCW didn’t do video packages at all and it took a bit to get used to it. Ok so Piper debuted at Halloween Havoc because a mere four years since he meant anything were seen as nothing I guess. Piper got to set up the contract at Starrcade so for some reason he made it non-title. Piper then went to Alcatraz for a week because WCW thought we would care. Piper has said he’s not WCW for whatever reason but it’s not like anyone cares again. Let’s get this over with.

Piper is of course covered in a dirty shirt which is full of holes as they actually tried to make us believe he was in a closed prison for a week. Hogan stalls, apparently channeling his inner Memphis. Piper chases him in the aisle and goes after his eye for no apparent reason back in the ring. There’s a low blow as this isn’t going to be wrestling is it?

Total brawl of course and Piper no sells a low blow. NWO people come out and Piper beats them up like Sting, Luger, Savage and Giant couldn’t because he’s old I guess. Piper no sells everything and brawls, using eye pokes (nyuk nyuk nyuk), punches, biting and choking. Hogan gets crotched on the top to add to the “comedy” of this match I’m guessing.

Here come Sting and Savage, who were hanging out at the time. Savage leaves Sting there but Sting stops him. Hogan finally gets a shot in as Savage is chilling on the floor. The fans LOUDLY cheer for Sting as Hogan gets two. Sting just leaves as Hogan beats on Piper. At this time it wasn’t clear whose side Sting was on so this was normal for him. Bear hug by Hogan as we see that Savage has lightning bolts on his clothes just like Hogan. Gee, foreshadowing much?

Another low blow sets up the sleeper by Piper and out of absolutely nowhere we’re done. It’s as abrupt as it sounds. And then after Piper’s hand is raised, Savage pulls Hogan’s feet under the ropes even though the referee could see the 10 inches plus between the feet and the ropes. Savage slips something on Hogan’s hand, Piper gets drilled, Savage is in the NWO and Hogan keeps the title while no one really gets what’s going on at all. The idea is Savage was thrown out of WCW so it was NWO or nothing else.

Rating: F. The match sucked as neither guy could move in the slightest so they were put in back to back PPV main events. The ending is completely stupid as no one got what was going on and it’s designed to make Hogan look even weaker than before. Terrible main event and one of the worst ever. Tony not mentioning Savage pulling him under the ropes after the match doesn’t help either as we saw Savage pull him.

Piper gets beaten down post match and it’s a huge moment or something because Piper was the big savior I guess. Beating ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. There’s some watchable stuff on here but the pacing really hurt this show. They had all their exciting matches at the beginning so after the Guerrero/Jericho match they had nothing else they could go with to pick the crowd up. Not the worst WCW show ever, but nothing worth seeing at all because it’s more NWO dominance as they get stronger with Savage now. Another weak show.

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SuperBrawl 1999: Gah I’m Sick Of That Wolfpac Song

SuperBrawl 1999
Date: February 21, 1999
Location: Oakland Arena, Oakland, California
Attendance: 15,880
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

Back to WCW to get three more shows down. This time we’re closing out 1999 which was the year when everything fell apart for these guys. The main event tonight is, wait for it, wait for it……HOGAN VS. FLAIR!!! Other than that we have a double elimination tournament final for the tag titles and Hall vs. Piper in what I’m sure will be a classic. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about various people that have won the world title. We get shots of their heads spinning around and audio of them winning the title. Then there are clips of Goldberg and Bigelow who also fight tonight.

The announcers talk about how Flair has EVERYTHING in wrestling riding on him tonight, whatever that means here.

We get a video on the tag title tournament which is double elimination for no apparent reason other than WCW has to have things be more complicated than needed. We get promos from the Horsemen who don’t have much to say. Windham and Hennig already beat the Horsemen once, because I guess you need to see the match for free before you decide if you want to pay to see it again.

But wait, we’re STILL not ready for the opening match because Gene needs to talk about the Hotline first.

Disco Inferno vs. Booker T

Disco is in the Wolfpac here to give you an idea how far the NWO has fallen. Why are these two fighting? Who cares, it’s not important enough to mention apparently. Ok to be fair we do get a clip from Thunder of Disco getting on Harlem Heat’s nerves because Stevie is in the Black and White so Booker jumped him in defense of his family. That’s better than nothing. Booker is just starting to become a big deal in singles competition.

After almost ten minutes into the show, we get the opening bell. And never mind as it’s time to pose. Booker hiptosses Disco and Tony tries to explain why WCW is still fighting the NWO. There’s a Disco Sucks chant as the crowd seems very hot tonight. Disco comes back with a very nice spinning neckbreaker. Booker slams him but Disco kicks him off. Disco is hanging in there more than you would expect. Oh wait, dance break.

Disco comes back again with some basic stuff and then a chinlock. They’re looking crips here instead of just going through the motions here and it’s really helping. Disco closes him over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Disco slams him and drops a middle rope elbow for two. Booker comes back with kicks, resulting in the ax kick but he doesn’t go up yet.

Disco comes back AGAIN (not a bad thing) but jumps into an Alabama Slam. Brain calls it an ax kick and even Tony thinks he sounds crazy. Disco takes him down for about the fifth time but the Chartbuster is countered. Side Kick sets up the Harlem Hangover (top rope flipping legdrop) gets the pin.

Rating: B-. This was WAY better than you would ever expect it to be. Disco got in a lot of offense and the match was really good as a result. Instead of a squash we got a back and forth match with Disco coming close to having a chance, which is way more than you would expect from him. Good stuff and the crowd is still hot.

Chris Jericho vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn lost a loser wears a dress match to set this up. Ralphus is in a dress and Jericho is in something that looks Japanese. They started playing Saturn’s music and then changed it to Jericho, which was the right song as he came out first. Referee Scott Dickinson is involved in this somehow on Jericho’s side. Saturn is in a dress also. Jericho runs his mouth before the match and tells Saturn he looks like an idiot. That ticks Saturn off and we’re ready to go.

They go to the floor and into the crowd almost immediately. Back to ringside and Saturn goes into the barricade. Back into the ring and Saturn shifts between a German suplex into a dragon suplex before settling for a t-bone suplex. Saturn avoids a dropkick and slingshots Jericho to the floor. For no apparent reason, Saturn throws Ralphus into the ring and rips Ralphus’ dress off.

Jericho uses the distraction to pop Saturn in the head, followed by a suplex. Chris tries his posing pin but Saturn takes him down and rams his head into the mat. Jericho knocks him to the floor for a bit but misses a top rope splash back inside. Saturn, with his dress bunching up on him, kicks Jericho down and hits a frog splash. He loads up the Death Valley Driver but Jericho counters into a rollup with feet on the ropes for two.

They exchange control for a few seconds until the Canadian hits a German on the American for two. Jericho hits a top rope cross body but Saturn rolls into the Rings of Saturn. He’s too close to the ropes though and Jericho gets to the ropes. Now Saturn tries a Lionsault but Jericho rolls away and hits one of his own for two. A spinwheel kick misses for Jericho and he walks into the Death Valley Driver. Instead of covering though, Saturn hits a DVD on referee Dickinson and walks out on the match, meaning he has to keep wearing the dress.

Rating: C+. Not a great match here but they picked things up towards the end. Then they got to the end and things got a lot worse. The Saturn dress thing went on for awhile while Jericho just went through the motions for the next few months before he finally got to go to the WWF in August.

Rey and Konnan are giving an interview on the internet. It’s Rey’s mask vs. Liz’s hair in a tag match later.

We recap Page vs. Scott Steiner. Steiner wants Kimberly and I think threw her out of a moving car. That match is later apparently.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Billy is defending. These two were a team in the tag title tournament but have split up obviously. Kidman sends him to the floor and Chavo yells at the fans. Luger is out of the tag match with Nash tonight and Nash has a replacement. Back in for a few seconds but Chavo is knocked right back outside. Kidman follows this time and gets pulled from the apron into the barricade to give the challenger control.

A weak brainbuster gets two. Off to a chinlock by Chavo as Tony and Bobby debate what it means to be aggressive. Chavo knocks him to the floor and hits a gorgeous flip dive to the floor. Kidman comes back with a top rope cross body for two. Chavo starts working on the back to try to slow Kidman down. He tries to powerbomb him but gets backdropped and Kidman gets in a dropkick as Chavo comes off the top. The selling is really quick in this match.

Kidman tries to take him into the corner but Chavo takes over and hits a top rope rana for two. The crowd is DEAD for this which is both not surprising and a bit annoying because the match isn’t that bad. At the end of the day though, it’s not that bad which is probably why they’re so dead. Chavo hits an elevated DDT with Kidman draped over the top rope for two. He tries a powerbomb but Kidman counters into a facejam (one of his signature moves) and the Shooting Star Press gets the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad but we’ve seen Cruiserweight matches so many times before and a lot of them are a lot better than this one. Chavo was never the kind of high flier that was going to make people say WOW when he wrestled which is fine because he’s a heel here, but he didn’t have the heel attitude yet to back that up. Still though, it was fine for a 9 minute match.

Quick video on Bigelow vs. Goldberg.

Tag Titles: Barry Windham/Curt Hennig vs. Dean Malenko/Chris Benoit

Since WCW is stupid, in this case if the cowboys get the first win, they win the titles (they’re vacant coming in). If the Horsemen (Malenko/Benoit as it occurs to me that all four have been Horsemen at one point) win the first fall, they have a second match. The cowboys have beaten the Horsemen once already in this tournament. Tony goes into a long explanation of how the teams have motivation to win the match, because WINNING THE TITLES isn’t a good enough reason.

Dean and Barry start things off with Barry running away a lot. They go to the mat and Dean rolls Windham around a bit so it’s a double tag. Tony explains how three of the four guys in here are second generation wrestlers. Heenan: “So is (referee) Mickie Jay.” Tony: “Who is his father?” Heenan: “Well he wasn’t a wrestling referee. He umpired a peewee football league in Moline, Illinois.” Heenan’s on tonight with the comedy.

Hennig gets chopped to the floor and runs from Malenko. Off to Barry vs. Benoit Windham gets thrown around and it’s off to Malenko who hits a dropkick but I think Windham was supposed to hold the rope to avoid the contact. There might have been a tag in there somewhere but it’s Barry vs. Dean still anyway. Even Tony says that was kind of odd. Hennig comes in for a double clothesline which missed but Dean sells it for two anyway.

Dean manages a bridging pin of some sort as the crowd is quiet again. That’s a shame as they were white hot for the opener. Dean rolls through and tags Benoit in after not having much damage done to him. Chris cleans house and backdrops a cheating Windham. Backbreaker gets two on Curt. Back to Dean who gets two off a belly to back suplex. Benoit comes in again and the referee literally has his back to the action for about 20 seconds. Swan Dive hits Hennig but Windham makes the save again.

Now Dean covers him but the referee STILL isn’t paying attention. It’s not even a heel thing. He’s just not doing that well in this match. The fans are booing him now. Curt gets crotched on the top so Dean dropkicks him down to the apron. Everything breaks down and throwing someone over the top isn’t a DQ this time for whatever reason. The referee is with Barry again but turns around to see Hennig hit Dean low. Think that’s a DQ? Nope, as Barry comes back in to suplex Malenko for two.

Now the referee doesn’t pay attention as the Cowboys beat up Malenko on the floor. Barry covers him with one hand for two and it’s back to Hennig. The fans aren’t thrilled with this match. Benoit comes in before he’s tagged but the referee is cool with that. The crowd is dying quickly. Back to Barry who hits the superplex but Dean saves. By “saves”, I mean doesn’t touch him but Barry jumps off Benoit anyway. This is like a comedy of errors.

The Cowboys hit a double suplex (after messing up a bit first of course) for two. Hennig hits his necksnap for two. Heenan wants a flamethrower brought in here. Tony: “You are an idiot.” Dean makes a save off a Windham something that we don’t see. This match is going on WAY too long. Benoit finally breaks through and gets the hot tag. Everything breaks down and on the second attempt, the Cloverleaf makes Windham tap.

We get a thirty second rest period between falls here. The Horsemen hammer on Hennig during the break and Dean goes for the Cloverleaf again. Windham chokes him out with a belt and pins him to win the titles in 20 seconds.

Rating: D. I love the Horsemen but the refereeing was HORRIBLE here. Actually most of the match was horrible here. Aside from that, Benoit still hasn’t won a title at this point. Instead we get a title on BARRY FREAKING WINDHAM??? In 1989 sure but in 1999? Seriously? A boring match and stupid stipulations so that Benoit and Malenko can win and then not get the titles anyway. Stupid all around, but such is WCW. Malenko and Benoit would get the titles in three weeks and lose them in another two weeks.

We recap the US Title feud which somehow involves Hall, Nash, Flair, Hart, Benoit, Will Sasso from MadTV and results in Piper vs. Hall for the title later.

Outsiders vs. Rey Mysterio/Konnan

Hall is substituting for Luger. It’s Mysterio’s mask vs. Liz’s (HOT here) hair. Why? Not really worth mentioning according to the announcers. Luger is with them too. Heenan runs down the idea of lucha libre and the masks Rey wears. Rey and Hall start as Heenan keeps going. Hall throws the toothpick at him so Rey throws it back. Now why hasn’t anyone else ever done that?

Hall shoves him around with ease so Rey speeds things up with an armdrag. The Outsiders aren’t taking this seriously at all because they’re smaller. Also Konnan was recently thrown out of the Wolfpac so there’s your reason for him being in this. Dropkick knocks Rey down and a springboard Fameasser gets two. Seated Senton (called a Thesz Press for reasons of general stupidity by Tony) puts Hall down as well.

Rey tries a third springboard but jumps into the fallaway slam. Off to Nash who gets a pop as well. He literally throws Rey around and it’s back to Hall again. Hall plays the drums on Rey’s head and loads up the Outsider’s Edge but Mysterio escapes and makes the hot tag to Konnan. He cleans house for a bit but gets caught in the back by a knee from Nash and a clothesline from Hall to slow things down again.

The beating goes on for awhile as this is bordering on an extended Outsiders squash. Konnan gets in some right hands and a double clothesline takes both Hall and Konnan down. Double tag brings in Rey and Nash and it’s springboard dropkicks all around. Everything breaks down and Konnan/Rey double team both guys. Luger trips up Konnan and sends him into the steps. Rey hits a moonsault and his knee “hits” Nash in the head to knock him out cold. Liz distracts the referee so Hall can hit the Edge on Rey and put Nash on top for the pin.

Rating: C. Not the worst match in the world and it had the hot ending, but what does this gain? Rey in a mask is a superhero, and without it he’s just another guy. I get that you couldn’t cut Liz’s hair, but maybe that shouldn’t have been up in the first place. I mean, why would you want to have $25 masks of a popular wrestler for sale? Who would want that?

Rey takes his mask off. Nash says put it back on. Rey looks about 13, making him FAR less interesting and making his name (King of Mystery) totally worthless. Such is WCW.

TV Title: Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Steiner is Wolfpac and champion here. There’s no transition between the matches as he celebrates with the Outsiders on their way out. Scott brings some plant (and hot) chick into the ring pre match. Page is all serious here. Steiner stalls so Page takes it to the floor. Total brawl for the most part so far with Page pounding on him for the first few minutes. Steiner knocks him into the railing but Page is right back up with a top rope clothesline and a neckbreaker.

Here’s Buff Bagwell because we can’t go five minutes without a run-in here. Bagwell gets in the ring and this is all cool. Page cleans house anyway and knocks Buff to the floor, but Buff hits Page in the back to let Steiner take over. Out to the floor and Page is sent into the barricade and Buff hammers on him some more. Both guys choke Page as Heenan repeats both announcers. This match is going nowhere.

Page gets in a tiny bit of offense here and there but we’re mainly in squash land. Page pulls Steiner’s trunks down so Tony can make his moon jokes. Buff slides in a chair and distracts the referee (why bother?) so Steiner can hit Page with it. Page escapes the Recliner with a low blow (referee was two feet away and looking right at it) as Buff uses boltcutters to take the pads off. This is like a cartoon. Buff actually gets ejected as Steiner has Page covered.

DDP knocks Steiner to the floor and Page dives onto Steiner but gets sent into the steps for his efforts. Back in Scott hits what he calls the Frankensteiner anymore for two. Page hits his jumping DDT (called the Diamond Dream, in the only time I remember hearing it called that) for a delayed two. Page tries the Cutter but Steiner sends him into the exposed buckles. Another shot into them sets up the Recliner for the referee stoppage. By Recliner I mean a chinlock because he can’t even be bothered putting Page’s arms over his knees.

Rating: D-. This was pretty awful. Steiner was pushed like a god for WAY too long, despite not many people caring about him at all. Him putting someone in the Recliner until they passed out was WCW’s version of Flair interferes, Pedigree, HHH retains from 2002-2003. Horribly bad match but they’re old guys in WCW so you know they’re not going to be that good.

Page gets taken out on a stretcher to make Steiner look even stronger. The fans chant that Page sucks.

Mark Madden talks to Bigelow who says this was his plan.

US Title: Roddy Piper vs. Scott Hall

This match alone should sum up most of WCW’s problems from this era (or most eras for that matter) in a nutshell. First of all, this is the third straight match with the Wolfpac theme music in it. Second, WCW has a roster including but not limited to: Hart, Booker T, Benoit, Mysterio, Jericho, Malenko, Saturn, Guerrero, Guerrero Jr. and probably a bunch of people that I’m forgetting, and they have Piper vs. Hall for the title and the announcers treat it like some dream match. That’s WCW for you.

Disco is with Hall here. We hear about Piper winning the US Title for the first time from Flair back in 1981. Why do you need me here? These jokes write themselves. Piper throws the kilt on Hall and pounds away at him. Piper does his usual punching, choking and poking. Oh and slapping too. Can’t forget the slapping. Hall is about to tell him to suck it so Piper hits him in the ribs then tries an actual wrestling move, hitting a neckbreaker for two.

Hall hits the shoulder blocks with the wristlock but Piper pulls the hair to take Hall down. Disco tries to interfere so Piper messes up his hair. There’s Disco’s career highlight. Hall takes a few atomic drops and Piper pokes him in the throat. Out to the floor for Piper to chase Disco but Hall rams him into the steps instead. Back inside and hall punches him down. Piper hits him low but Hall basically no sells it. Piper gets put in the Tree of Woe as Heenan says Hall is one of the top five in the world today. At what exactly?

Piper gets out of the corner and Tony praises him for doing it on his own. Off to the abdominal stretch and Piper is in trouble again. In a moment that gives me a small seizure, Heenan ACTUALLY EXPLAINS SOMETHING, saying that when Disco pulls on Hall’s arm, it’s not so much for the torque on Piper but also to prevent Piper from being able to move Hall around or hip toss him.

Disco lets go and Piper hiptosses out. Piper hooks the sleeper but Disco comes in to break it up. Disco gets beaten up and Nash runs in. Piper hits him too but Hall gets in a shot and covers with his feet on the ropes to win the title. Yeah, because SCOTT HALL is the right choice to give a title too. That gives the NWO the World, US and TV Titles. In 1999.

Rating: F. This match was awful. I mean really, PIPER VS. HALL IN 1999??? Who thinks that’s a good idea other than Piper, Hall and their mothers? Terrible match with neither guy being able to do much other than punches and really basic holds. Matches like these are the reason this company went under.

Piper, ever the sportsman, throws the title at Hall’s feet, gets in a fight with Hall and steals the belt back. Piper runs from the Outsiders and shouts something at them. Was there a point to this at all?

Oh and this match was originally going to be Bret vs. Benoit but WCW decided this was the better choice.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Goldberg

Goldberg gets the first real pop in an hour and a half. He’s billed from Stone Mountain here instead of Atlanta. Did they owe Jake Roberts a favor or something? I’m still trying to get over the fact that people said Austin and Goldberg looked alike. Stalling to start and they test each others’ power. Bigelow shoulder blocks him down so Goldberg picks him up for a delayed slam, sending Bigelow to the floor.

The announcers praise Goldberg for being able to do basic stuff. Goldberg picks Bigelow up for what we would call an FU. He then applies probably the worst cross armbreaker you’ll ever see. The fans chant ECW and Bigelow gets to the floor and hits Goldberg low a bunch of times. Bigelow works on the knee and goes back inside for more knee work. Now he works on the arm and hooks a chinlock. This isn’t exactly what I expected for a Goldberg match.

Goldie fights out of it and hits a belly to back suplex. Bigelow slams him down and hits the top rope headbutt for two. Moonsault misses and Goldberg loads up the spear. HUGE reaction for that but Bigelow moves. I mean literally, the fans rose up to see it. The second attempt hits and he sets for the Jackhammer but stops. He superkicks Bigelow instead and spears him again. NOW the Jackhammer gets the pin.

Rating: D. Yeah the match was bad but this single handedly brought the crowd back to life. Just to further prove how stupid WCW was, they had decided that this guy getting these kind of reactions wasn’t worth it because they needed to take the title off Nash and have him hand it back to Hogan. The idiocy of this company continues to astound me. The match mostly sucked.

WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan

No video intro or anything, because who would ever want to watch a WCW show years after the fact? Hogan comes out to the Wolfpac music too, putting the total at five matches out of nine having Wolfpac members in them. Hogan is champion. Flair got a long beatdown on Nitro before this that ran like 10 minutes or so. Hogan runs him over to start and does it again. Oh I really don’t like where this is going.

Flair gets in a hard chop as we get the backstory two minutes into the match. Flair was president of the company and made Hogan defend here, then the NWO destroyed David Flair (remember that) so Ric put himself into the match to get revenge and maybe the title. Hogan clotheslines him down for two. He chops at Flair in the corner but Flair comes back with some of his own.

The knee drop hits Hogan, complete with the camera cutting away so that Flair knee dropping the mat is missed. Hogan takes him down again as Flair can’t get anything going. Flair Flip sends him out to the floor. Out to the floor and Flair blades before Hogan hits him with the chair. Hogan wins the slugout (duh) and this is becoming very one sided. Then again that’s how most Flair matches start.

A suplex on the floor keeps Flair down and they go back inside. Flair gets all fired up, basically Hulking Up so Hogan punches him down with ease and whips him with the weightlifting belt. Flair goes for the leg to take Hulk down but Hogan whips him with the belt from his back. This is ridiculously one sided. Flair pokes him in the eye and kicks him low (remember that Flair is the good guy here). He whips Hogan with the belt and Hogan ACTUALLY SELLS IT!!! I’m as shocked as you are.

Hogan is bleeding a bit now too. The fans are looking at something else and here comes the mystery chick from some vignettes over the past few weeks. It’s Torrie Wilson who has been shown talking to an unseen cameraman who she’s been sleeping with apparently. She comes in and stays at ringside as Flair punches Hogan in the corner. Flair suplexes Hogan but Hogan does the power kickout and Flair lands on the referee.

Hogan drops an elbow on the referee and pounds on Flair. Big boot hits but the Legdrop misses. Here’s a masked man who draws David Flair chants. Now remember, David got beaten half to death by the NWO recently, so there would be NO REASON AT ALL for him to beat up Flair. The masked man gets in the ring, stuns Ric with a tazer and lets Hogan keep the title.

Rating: D-. So basically this was a Hogan squash for 8 minutes, then three minutes of Flair getting in some offense, then Hogan coming back and destroying Flair some more, then Torrie came out, then David (oh sorry, the masked man) came out and tazed Flair and Hogan wins. That’s your PPV main event people.

The masked man is the aforementioned cameraman and yep, it’s David Flair.

Overall Rating: D-. It’s another show that sums up WCW’s problems in one night: nonsensical twists (the explanation is that David turned on his dad for Torrie. His father is Ric Flair. Do you really think Ric couldn’t get him about 100 gorgeous women? Oh wait, HE DID THAT SOON AFTER THIS SHOW) bad booking picks (yeah let’s give Scott Hall a title) and the NWO winning all of their matches and holding all of the important singles titles. Also, no face won a major match tonight. Bad BAD show and a good example of why WCW was falling further and further into a black hole.

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Monday Nitro – February 5, 1996 – Requested So Here It Is

Monday Nitro #23
Date: February 5, 1996
Location: Jenkins Center, Lakeland, Florida
Commentators: Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan, Steve McMichael

We’re FINALLY at the go home show for Superbrawl which would turn out to be an absolute disaster. Anyway this on paper looks like a decent card but I’m not completely sold yet. These Nitros are so hit or miss that it’s unreal. Anyway this should be ok and if nothing else we don’t have to hear about how awesome Superbrawl will be after this so let’s get to it.

By the way this is around the time when they started the overrun so these shows are going to get a bit longer.

Eric and company run down the card for tonight and talk about Hogan a lot. His eye injury is the main topic of discussion of course.

WCW World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Randy Savage

Yes please. Benoit is a Horseman here which is why he’s getting this show. He’s not well liked at all due to said affiliation and has zero chance of winning here but this should be fun either way. Please give them some time? Big pop for Savage as this is more or less his hometown. He has Woman and Liz here with him. Guess what would happen with them at the PPV. Just guess.

Now let’s make fun of WWF for a bit. Have to take care of that no? Benoit holds up the four fingers at Savage and the crowd doesn’t seem to care. Benoit was known as a guy with talent but he hadn’t proven a thing yet so this isn’t a real challenge. He takes over though and sends Savage to the floor. This was also normal though as Savage’s style consisted of 1. Get beaten up. 2. Get beaten up a lot more. 3. Elbow. 4. Win. That was how most Savage matches went for a few years including here. Well maybe not the last two but you get the point.

Savage can’t get anything going and Benoit chops away in the corner. There’s the snap suplex as Eric says that historically Superbrawl is one of the biggest PPVs in history. Swan Dive hits as this has been ALL Benoit. Benoit works on the back as apparently he isn’t trying to win so he can wear Savage down for Flair on Sunday.

Out to the floor goes Savage and Benoit tries a suicide dive to the floor but goes short and slams his head onto the foot of the railing. Sick SICK shot and totally legit it seems. Flair runs out to try to give Benoit a chance to remember what planet he’s on. Flair and Anderson beat down Savage for the DQ. Woman also turns heel and beats him up. Hogan makes the save with a chair.

Rating: B-. Given what they had here, this worked rather well. Savage is beaten down for the PPV and Woman turned heel. That spot with Benoit had to be at least partially botch as even Benoit isn’t crazy enough to do that on purpose. Pretty good TV match and always good to see Benoit get a chance to shine.

Savage is helped out so Hogan gets to talk now! The crowd is about 60/40 for Hogan here. Flair sneaks up on Hogan and hits him low. Liz can only watch. Flair goes after the bad eye as Giant comes out. BIG chair shot and Zodiac stops Giant for some reason. Savage comes back out for the save. Randy yells at Liz, asking why didn’t you warn Hogan. That’s a very good question. If you didn’t get it, Liz would turn on Savage at the PPV.

Kevin Sullivan/Hugh Morrus vs. Arn Anderson/Brian Pillman

Before the match we get a clip of their brawl the previous week. Sweet goodness I could listen to that Horsemen music for a long time. Bell rings after a break with Morrus vs. Pillman. I think this is Pillman’s last Nitro. Bischoff points out how scary it is to have Anderson be the sanest guy in the match. Pillman can’t hurt Morrus as this was when they wanted Morrus to be something special I think.

Big press slam puts Pillman down and the same goes for Anderson. We hear about the strap match on Sunday. I’ll post my review of the PPV at the end of this review. Make sure to check that out as it might be the most bizarre stories in wrestling history. Off to Morrus vs. Anderson and Anderson hits a spinebuster for no cover.

Pillman comes in, slaps Morrus and then tags in Anderson. I liked his insane bits back in the day like this. Anderson with a chinlock now as we haven’t had Sullivan in here for the majority of the match. Back off to Pillman and then right back to Anderson. Other than the opening I don’t think the Pillman has been in there longer than 15 seconds.

It’s been about 85% Horsemen here and Morrus is sent to the floor. Pillman sends him into the railing and the laughing dude is starting to laugh. Bischoff says we’re awaiting word from the coroner for word about Hogan and his eye. I give up. Sullivan vs. Pillman now and the fight is on. Sullivan bites his face and wants blood. Anderson saves his partner and Anderson gets a broom broken over his back by someone we can’t see. The Dungeon (Morrus/Sullivan) beats on Pillman with the strap for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Basic brawl for the most part but the Sullivan vs. Pillman was interesting to say the least. It was some of the best acting that has ever happened in wrestling and evolved into Benoit vs. Sullivan. This feud went on forever and thankfully the NWO came in to end it. Basic match but it set up the PPV match well enough.

Marcus Bagwell vs. Ric Flair

Bagwell is an American Male here. Woman is with Flair now. Somehow he looks a bit more effeminate than she does. Paul Orndorff pops up at the announce booth and says you never know when payback is coming. Nothing ever came of this I don’t think. After a quick break we’re back with the bell. Savage has taken Hogan to the hospital. Better than the coroner I guess.

Basic start here as Bagwell beats Flair down for awhile. Yep this is Flair Formula personified. Bagwell uses basic stuff and is all fired up to be in there and having some success with Flair. Flair gets in a cheap shot and here he comes. It’s the same thing every time but it works. Bagwell gets a rollup for two to counter the Figure Four. He misses a crossbody and hits the floor though.

Here comes Flair with some stomps. Back in and we get the Flair knee drop. They slug it out in the corner with Bagwell taking over. And never mind as he gets kicked in the face to take him down. Bagwell gets back up and gets a middle rope suplex for two. Slingshot splash eats knees and I think it’s time to go to school. Yep and it’s over.

Rating: C. Not bad here and a nice little quick shot for Flair before the PPV. This is fine for what it was supposed to be as Bagwell gets to rub elbows with Flair and Flair gets a convincing victory over someone that he should be able to get a convincing victory over. This was fine.

Flair won’t let go until Savage makes the save.

Tag Titles: Road Warriors vs. Sting/Lex Luger

This is the blue period for the Warriors that looks stupid. Animal vs. Sting to start. LOUD LOD chant to start us off. Animal might have a bad back here. Naturally Sting works on the arm instead. Sting controls to start and gets a top rope clothesline for two. We come to a pause and Sting shouts to the crowd. See, that’s smart. He keeps the fans from getting cold and just a shout like that can do it.

Off to Hawk and Luger now. Is Sting the weakest person in the match somehow? Big shoulder tackle takes down Luger so it’s off to Sting again. The guy with more singles success moves out of the way of a charge in the corner but can’t get the Scorpion. Off to Animal who is sent into Luger as the champions take over. Luger hammers on the back as the fans chant for the challengers (Road Warriors if that wasn’t clear).

We take an unannounced break as the building lost power apparently. Bischoff implies WWF had something to do with it. What the heck??? TNT is letting the show go on a bit longer because this is a big match, meaning we’re officially beginning the overrun. Front facelock as this match is really pretty boring. Powerslam by Luger takes down Animal.

Everything breaks down and Luger gets a suplex on Animal but walks into a powerslam with no referee. Jimmy Hart comes out of nowhere and slips Luger some big metal plate that is apparently used to keep doors open. He drills Animal in the bad back with it to get the pin to retain. At least it’s over now.

Rating: F+. This was absolutely awful. These four never were able to have a good match together and this was no exception. Sting and Luger didn’t care and the Warriors were so far past their expiration date that it was unreal. Bad match indeed and an odd choice to end the show.

The Road Warriors demand a title shot at the winner of Sting/Luger vs. Harlem Heat, whenever that happens.

Overall Rating
: C-. This was decent at times but at the end of the day it feels like it’s just there. Nothing really ever got going with it and while they kind of set up the PPV a bit at the same time this show didn’t need to happen and the PPV build would have been the same thing for the most part. Other than the Woman turn, nothing happened here at all. Not bad but not needed at all.

 

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