Monday Night Raw
Date: July 22, 2013
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming off an awesome Raw last week so there are good hopes for another solid show tonight. The main stories tonight will be Punk vs. Heyman/Lesnar and Cena vs. Bryan as we head towards Summerslam. The key different with these stories is the people have been clamoring for them for months now and we’re FINALLY getting to see them. It’s not some idea that is being shoved down our throats but rather something logical and story driven which is the right idea. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with the contract signing between Cena and Bryan with Maddox as the moderator. Brad wants to know why Cena picked Bryan and Cena says it was because of Maddox. Maddox wanted to listen to the fans and they were all chanting YES. Brad suggests that Cena picked Maddox because it’s an easy win, but here’s Bryan to defend himself. Cena goes into a rant about how it isn’t size that makes a competitor and he picked Bryan as the challenger because he deserved it. If size is what makes a champion, Maddox can hand the title to Great Khali, but Cena has names like HBK, Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio.

Cena says Bryan is giving him a chance to compete, because Cena is going to fight back. Bryan might be the best right now, but at Summerslam the best isn’t going to be good enough and Cena signs. Bryan signs and starts to talk but Maddox cuts him off. Bryan cuts Maddox off and says Brad doesn’t get to talk when Bryan wants to. Maddox asks Bryan if he deserves this because not everyone thinks he does. Tonight Bryan gets to prove himself in a few matches against opponents to be named.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

Non-title again and Sheamus has a BIG bruise on his thigh from MITB. Del Rio kicks him in the bruised leg but Sheamus sends him into the corner for a quick shoulder into the ribs. A neckbreaker gets two on Del Rio but he superkicks Sheamus out of the corner to take over. Sheamus comes back with forearms out of the corner and a snap suplex for two more. Del Rio kicks the leg out again and stomps away as this is still a basic match so far.

The armbreaker across the top rope cranks on Sheamus’ arm but he punches Del Rio to the floor as we take a break. Back with Del Rio getting two off a German suplex and Sheamus winning a slugout. He hits a series of ax handles to the head and a knee lift for two. Del Rio hits the Backstabber for two and a hard kick to the back keeps Sheamus down.

Alberto misses a charge and gets caught in the ten forearms to the chest followed by the Irish Curse for two. The champion comes back with a running enziguri to knock Sheamus off the top and a superkick to the bad leg. The armbreaker is easily countered but Sheamus’ leg buckles as he goes for White Noise, giving Del Rio the pin at 13:23.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I thought I would due to the psychology. Del Rio working over the arm here would have been idiotic but thankfully he went after the bad leg up until the end and that leg work played into the finish. That’s what I mean when I talk about building on a story and it worked fine here. Also Del Rio actually won a match against a big opponent!

Booker T and Teddy Long bicker over who was more surprised by Vickie being named permanent GM of Smackdown. Teddy suggests that Booker left him holding the bag but Booker says he was out with an injury. Long also suggests that Booker should have been fired if Teddy was getting the job full time.

Christian vs. Titus O’Neal

Christian pops him in the jaw with a right hand but gets caught by a shoulder block. The Canadian’s middle rope cross body is caught in a backbreaker to send him to the floor. Titus picks him up on his shoulder and walks Christian back in the ring for two in an impressive power display. Off to an abdominal stretch for a few moments but Christian fights back with some hard right hands. A jumping back elbow off the middle rope looks to set up the Killswitch but Christian has to dropkick Young to the floor. Titus gets two off a big boot but Christian escapes a slam into the Killswitch for the pin at 4:38.

Rating: C. Titus looked much better here than he has before but unfortunately he appears to be stuck int his jobber role because of being part of a team. It doesn’t help that he’s in his late 30s and got into the sport pretty late in life. Still though, nice performance here and there’s definitely some potential in the guy.

After a clip of him destroying Jericho, Ryback says he enjoys attacking people because he hates average. It seems that we’re dropping the whiner gimmick.

Here’s Mark Henry with something to say. He’s proud of the effort he put into his match with Cena, but he’s not proud of the beating Shield gave him last week. If they want to fight him, he’s right here. Cue Shield to easily destroy Henry until the Usos come out for the save and to send Shield running.

Cena comes up to see Bryan in the back and offer his support in the three matches tonight. Bryan appreciates it but politely declines. Tonight is Bryan’s chance to prove himself and he’s going to win on his own. If Cena comes out there at all, it proves that Cena didn’t mean a thing he said earlier tonight.

Darren Young vs. Dolph Ziggler

The fans chant for Ziggler who gets a quick rollup for no cover. A dropkick gets two on Young but he drops Ziggler with a hot shot to take over. Off to a chinlock on Dolph as this appears to be one of those short matches that needs a rest hold for some reason. Ziggler escapes with a jawbreaker and hits a splash in the corner followed by a hard clothesline for two. Dolph gets caught on Young’s shoulders and driven face first into the mat for a close two, but Young spends too much time talking trash and gets caught in the Zig Zag for the pin at 4:30.

Rating: D. Did we really need a chinlock in a match that didn’t even make it five minutes? Young continues to be as generic as any guy you could pick up off the street, which makes me wonder why that team is still together. Either way this wasn’t interesting at all and it never felt like Ziggler was in jeopardy. With Titus’ match, there was a chance of Christian losing which made it more interesting.

Post match Langston runs out to beat down Dolph but Ziggler beats him to the punch and sends him to the floor.

Here’s a walk through of how to download the WWE App for the idiots in the audience.

It’s time for MizTV with the cast of the Total Divas as the guests. We get a clip of the show with one of the Divas DOING HER HAIR! Miz introduces the cast and then turns it over to Lawler to emcee this nonsense. Eve Marie, one of the new chicks, doesn’t like how Lawler is looking at her and slaps him to make a name for herself. And that’s it.

HHH tells Maddox that he doesn’t care what Vince thinks because Bryan might be the future of the WWE. He didn’t stop Maddox’s decisions earlier because Bryan can overcome anything thrown at him. Maddox needs to pick which train he’s on because one is the future and the other is a dead end. HHH leaves and Stephanie pops in with an idea which we’ll hear about later.

Video on the Wyatt Family so far.

Fandango vs. Cody Rhodes

Sandow is on commentary. Feeling out process to start with Fandango hitting a shoulder block and dancing a lot. He dances a bit too much and gets caught by a dropkick to send him into the corner. Cody charges into a boot in the corner for one and it’s off to a cravate. Fandango pulls at Cody’s mouth and it’s right back to the cravate. Cody comes back with a right hand and a kick to the low abdomen before loading up a moonsault press which barely connected at all. Sandow tries to interfere but Cody sidesteps a charging Fandango to send him into Damien. The Disaster Kick sets up Cross Rhodes for the pin at 3:17.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much to see but it was nice to see Cody getting a win again. The guy had so much potential a few years ago and it stopped dead for well over a year. Sandow vs. Rhodes is a good way to get Cody back on track and the fans are going to be into it when it happens if it’s done right.

Here’s a limping Punk to talk about Lesnar’s attack last week. Punk says last week he felt Lesnar’s power and took Lesnar’s best shot. He felt the power of Lesnar and has an injured ankle and staples in his head, but he’s still standing here today. Lesnar is a beast who has dominated people like HHH and John Cena because of one thing: fear. It’s not his power or his speed but the fear that Lesnar puts into people that make him so dominant. Punk isn’t afraid of Lesnar’s power, he’s not afraid of Lesnar’s size and he’s not afraid of Brock Lesnar at all.

This brings Punk to Paul Heyman. Punk talks about being a relentless man who is going to keep fighting until Lesnar is left laying like Punk was last week. This is Punk’s ring and he has proven it against John Cena, the Rock and Undertaker. There will not be another beatdown from Lesnar and Punk is going to get his hands on Heyman to make him pay. Brock Lesnar is a monster who was put on this earth to be slayed at CM Punk’s hands and Punk wants to do it at Summerslam in the Best vs. the Beast.

Heyman pops up on screen and talks about the tagline of Best vs. Beast. Punk cuts him off and asks if Heyman is really on satellite, because if he’s really back there then Punk is going to go backstage, drag him out here and destroy Heyman in front of the people of Austin. Heyman talks to Brock off screen and makes fun of Texas before asking Punk if he’s a coward or a fool. Punk says he’ll answer that at Summerslam and wants to know where Heyman is right now so he can take him out tonight. Heyman accepts the challenge for Summerslam and says the Best is the Beast, and Punk will learn that at Summerslam.

Wade Barrett vs. Rob Van Dam

Barrett takes over to start with a knee lift and a big boot to the face to send Van Dam into the ropes for two. The announcers make stupid jokes about Barrett’s nose as Barrett gets two more off a chinlock. Wade charges into a foot in the corner followed by a top rope kick to set up Rolling Thunder. A top rope front flip gets two for RVD and the Five Star is good for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: C-. This was just a step above a squash with Barrett getting in some decent offense before taking the loss. I don’t remember anyone falling as far as Barrett has while holding a title as long as he did. He hasn’t won anything close to a big match in months and is nothing but a jobber to the stars at this point.

Daniel Bryan vs. Jack Swagger

This is the first of an undetermined amount of matches for Bryan. Colter says that Stephen F. Austin isn’t the father of this country as he didn’t fight for the right to allow people to chant YES. Bryan isn’t a Real American because he took a handout last week from John Cena and tonight he gets to face a Real American in Swagger. Bryan gets a quick rollup for one but Swagger takes out his leg to put him down.

Swagger pounds on him in the corner but walks into a dropkick to send him to the floor. The FLYING GOAT is countered with a forearm to the face and Swagger drops the Vader Bomb for two. He loads up the Patriot Lock but gets caught in the YES Lock for the first submission at 2:57.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Daniel Bryan

This is joined in progress after a break with Cesaro holding Bryan in an armbar. Lawler tells us we need to download the App so we can see action like he’s showing us right now. Cesaro whips Bryan into the corner for two and puts on the standing chinlock. Bryan takes him down and hits the double leg stomp out of the surfboard. Cesaro comes back with a pure power suplex and another hard chinlock but Bryan easily fights up and hits the running clothesline followed by the kicks to the chest. A running dropkick in the corner gets two on Cesaro but Swagger shoves Bryan off the top into the uppercut for two.

Back from a break with Cesaro getting two off the gutwrench suplex. A kind of Death Valley Driver gets two but Bryan comes back with a hard kick to the head for two of his own. Cesaro takes him to the corner for a superplex but gets forearmed and kneed down, only to have Cesaro come back with a top rope superplex attempt. Bryan slips through his legs and gets Cesaro in the Tree of Woe for a bunch of kicks, capped off by the delayed running dropkick to the face.

A belly to back superplex is countered into a crossbody to give Antonio two as this is getting really good. Back up and Cesaro DESTROYS Bryan with about 25 uppercuts in a row followed by a huge clothesline for two. Bryan backdrops out of the Neutralizer and starts firing off forearms before putting on a leg lock and pounding away with driving forearms to the face. Cesaro is sent to the floor and the FLYING GOAT takes out the Real Americans. Back in and Cesaro tries to throw Bryan in the air for the uppercut but Bryan comes down into a small package for the pin at approximately 15:00 shown.

Rating: A-. Someone explain to me why Cesaro isn’t one of the three top heels in this company right now. He could EASILY being in Del Rio’s spot and blowing away everything he does. Both guys looked great here and this is probably a match of the year candidate. Great stuff and I want more Cesaro right now.

Maddox is in the back with Alex Riley next to him of all people. Bryan has a third opponent after the break.

Daniel Bryan vs. Ryback

Bryan goes right for Ryback’s bad leg but Ryback easily knocks him down. Ryback shouts that Bryan is a little man in a big man’s world and chokes him him with a boot. The stupid fans chant that Ryback can’t wrestle so Ryback suplexes Bryan down for two. We hit a quick chinlock with Ryback shouting that this is too easy. Ryback’s Thesz press is countered into a wicked looking half crab but he’s right in front of the ropes. A splash gets two for Ryback but the Meathook is blocked by a knee to the chest.

Bryan hits some corner dropkicks but Ryback clotheslines him down for two. Ryback heads to the floor to set up a table but Bryan comes flying through the ropes to send Ryback into the announce table with a thud. Ryback sends him into the steps and gets back in, only to have Bryan fire off the kicks. The YES Lock is countered by a throw but Bryan drop toeholds him into the buckle. A missile dropkick gets two and there’s the YES Lock but Ryback finally makes the ropes. Ryback heads to the floor but catches Bryan coming off the apron in a powerbomb. Another powerbomb through the table is good for a DQ at 9:10.

Rating: B-. This was a great David vs. Goliath match and I like that they didn’t make Ryback lose clan here. Bryan beating the Real Americans is fine but having him win against a fresh monster after nearly half an hour in the ring is too much of a stretch. This worked very well though as Ryback can still be a monster when he isn’t a whiny jerk.

Post match Ryback loads up another powerbomb but Cena comes out to make the save. He chases Ryback off and challenges him to a tables match next week.

In the back Maddox makes the tables match official but Vince comes in to make Bryan vs. Kane next week.

Overall Rating: B+. This show took awhile to get going but the final forty minutes is a Daniel Bryan showcase with some AWESOME wrestling that made him look like a monster against Cena. You couple that with an excellent Heyman/Punk segment and some short matches that didn’t overstay their welcome and this was a very solid show. I can’t wait for Summerslam and the show is going to rock.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Sheamus – Cradle

Christian b. Titus O’Neal – Killswitch

Dolph Ziggler b. Darren Young – Zig Zag

Cody Rhodes b. Fandango – Cross Rhodes

Daniel Bryan b. Jack Swagger – YES Lock

Daniel Bryan b. Antonio Cesaro – Small Package

Daniel Bryan b. Ryback via DQ when Ryback powerbombed Bryan through a table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 18, 2011
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is a very different era for Raw as Punk is now world champion but has apparently left the company with the championship. Also we have Alberto Del Rio as the Money in the Bank winner who didn’t cash in officially last night because the bell never rang. This should be a very interesting show so let’s get to it.

Here’s Vince to open the show. Nice to see them going straight into the big story. Johnny Ace is with him. Vince’s punk jacket isn’t quite as manly as something Bret would wear but most men aren’t Bret Hart. The locker room is all watching on a monitor in the back. The fans chant for Punk and Vince says he’ll never say that name again. Punk is an ingrate apparently and walked out on the fans, the locker room and everyone that has ever been in this ring.

Vince says no one is bigger than the WWE and lists off a bunch of names. There will be a new WWE Champion crowned tonight in an 8 man tournament. Ziggler vs. Rey is one of the matches. Swagger vs. Truth. Kofi vs. Del Rio and Miz vs. Riley….again. He addresses Cena not being in the match because Cena let everyone down last night. Cena will face unmentioned consequences. Vince promises we’ll always remember tonight so enjoy the show.

We talk about Cena tweeting that he’s been fired and if that’s hot it is, Cena is sorry to Rock.

WWE Championship Tournament Quarterfinals: The Miz vs. Alex Riley

Miz is limping but the fact that he’s out there is a great sign after how bad his knee looked. Riley’s entrance and the bell are after the break. Here we go and Riley goes after the bad knee which is rather smart. He has psychology at least. A kick to the knee puts Miz down and he works it over a bit. Miz’s knee goes around the post and Riley gets two back in. Riley’s shoulder goes into the post and here comes Miz.

Miz throws on a cravate to slow Riley down. You have to win by pinfall or submission so there are no DQs or countouts. Riley manages to ram Miz’s neck into his knee to take over. Spinebuster gets two. The inverted DDT and the Finale don’t work so Miz goes up. He jumps into a really bad Texas Cloverleaf (called a Sharpshooter by Cole) but manages to get a rope. Alex hammers away and Miz is staggering. And never mind as Riley walks into the Skull Crushing Finale for the clean pin at 4:57.

Rating: C. Nice to see Miz get a clean win over Riley as he was starting to look far too weak. A deep run in this tournament could help him a lot as this win did. Pretty average match here but for a TV match in a tournament that needs to have relatively quick matches, this was perfectly fine.

Video on John Morrison who is coming back soon from his neck injury apparently.

WWE Championship Tournament Quarter-Finals: R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger grabs a headlock to start us off. Truth keeps talking to himself as they circle each other a bit more. Apparently Big Show will be out for two months. Truth gets a victory roll for two as Truth does his weird pelvic thrust dance. Belly to belly gets two for Swagger. Swagger beats on Truth a bit more before the Vader Bomb gets two. Double chickenwing goes on Truth as the crowd doesn’t care. Truth starts his comeback but misses the Axe kick. It’s countered into the ankle lock but Truth counters into a rollup for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: C-. This was a weird one as the heel vs. heel dynamic was kind of all over the place. Truth was moving around fast like a face would do but since both are heels it’s kind of hard to call. Either way it wasn’t anything all that special but with just over four minutes and no feud to work off of, how good can you really get?

WWE Championship Tournament Quarter-Finals: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

Alberto is VERY fired up about being Mr. Money in the Bank. He talks about trying to cash in last night but Punk ran away. Alberto has a surprise and RICARDO IS BACK! Why this is exciting is beyond me but you have to shout at a return!!! The bell rings after a break and Del Rio gets a fast seated dropkick to the back of the head for two. Alberto goes after the leg of Kofi which is a change of pace for him.

Kofi starts his jumping around and hits a back elbow to take Del Rio down. Rock apparently has begged Vince not to fire Cena. This match seems kind of rushed. Del Rio is sent to the floor and Kofi hits a sweet dive to take Alberto down. Kofi takes too long to come back in and gets caught by an enziguri for two. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long at all. Another kick gets two.

Elbow drop gets the same and we’re back to the chinlock. Kofi starts his comeback and the crowd finally reacts. Boom Drop is avoided though and Del Rio gets a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Cross armbreaker is countered into a rollup for the pin out of nowhere at approximately 5:00.

Rating: C. Rather surprised by the pin here but Alberto losing makes things more interesting as far as surprise winners could go. I didn’t like the match itself for the most part as it seemed kind of rushed but the ending helped it a bit. Nice to see Kofi get an actual big win for once too.

Summerslam Recall is from 1992 where Bulldog beat Bret.

Kofi says he’s excited and tonight is a new opportunity. That’s one down and two to go.

WWE Championship Tournament Quarter-Finals: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler trabs him to start but Rey speeds things up to escape. Rey is tossed to the floor and takes a nice flapjack to put him down again. In the ring that gets two as does a big elbow drop. Off to a stump puller which is an old school submission. Dolph takes him down to the mat and has been in control for most of the match. Splash in the corner misses though and Rey gets a quick two count.

Seated senton off the top hits but Ziggler gets a sunset flip. They exchange some kicks, resulting in Dolph getting a two count. Clothesline misses for Dolph and the sleeper is countered. Rey counters into a 619 attempt but Dolph ducks and hits a reverse slam for two. 619 hits on the second attempt and a top rope splash pins the US Champion clean at 5:00.

Rating: C. Not bad again here but at the same time it was kind of boring again. These five minute matches can only be so good because they have to fly through everything instead of letting a match build itself up. That gets really annoying quickly and it certainly has in these four matches so far. Still though not bad.

Jerry calls Punk the former champion.

Updated brackets:

Mysterio vs. R-Truth

Kofi vs. Miz

Vince is talking to Johnny Ace about the tournament.

Face Diva Team vs. Heel Diva Team

Like I’m listing off 12-14 Divas for a two minute match. Beth vs. Rosa to start and they botch something badly. Slingshot suplex hits and everything breaks down within about 15 seconds. Glam Slam and we’re done at 1:02. About as good as I was expecting. Anything with Kelly in those tiny white shorts is never a bad thing though.

WWE Championship Tournament Semi-Finals: Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

Kofi immediately goes for the knee and Miz is having to fight through the issues. Kofi does his reversal off the ropes with his hair. They horribly botch a dropkick as Miz falls before it even hits. Double stomp gets two for Kofi but he gets crotched soon after that. Slingshot elbow gets two for Kofi but Miz rolls through a top rope cross body. He hits more or less a Stunner to the knee and loads up Trouble in Paradise, only for Miz to head to the apron to escape. Miz gets put into a rollup for two but gets a modified Snake Eyes and hits the Finale to end it at 3:45. Miz is bleeding from the mouth a bit.

Rating: D+. Didn’t feel this one at all. The quick endings are crippling this thing but having seven matches in two hours and all with clean endings is probably asking too much. Not a horrible match I guess but at the same time this was way too rushed as they were trying to get too much in there. As with almost all these matches, they would be better with more time.

Truth says he should be champion and there’s a conspiracy. The Little Jimmys better close their eyes because the title is gonna get got.

Video on Andy from Tough Enough who grew up in a very bad neighborhood apparently, complete with a meth lab.

WWE Championship Tournament Semi-Finals: Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth

Truth takes over to start and pounds Rey down, hitting a suplex for two. They collide which of course goes badly for Rey, resulting in another two count. Off to a front facelock by Truth and a knee to Rey’s ribs stops him again. After a body scissors Rey gets some momentum, including a bad looking arm drag to put Truth on the floor. Rey hits a suicide dive and we take a break.

Back with Truth holding a chinlock. Apparently Rey tried two top rope moves during the break and was ½ with them. Truth gets an extra spinny forearm for two. 619 attempt is countered by a forearm for two. Back to the front facelock as it seems like both of them are spent. Truth charges at Rey in the corner but goes into the middle buckle instead. Rey still can’t keep any momentum going and Truth hits his suplex into the stunner for two. Rey goes to the apron and hits a headscissors to set up the 619. Top rope splash puts him into the finals at 12:48.

Rating: D+. Not a horrible match but there was WAY too much laying around. This show is just draining and it’s the same problem as there always is in one night tournaments: the uniqueness of seeing each person goes away quickly because we’re going to see the finalists three times in one night which is just way too much. Not bad but rather dull at times.

Rey stays in the ring for the main event which is next.

And before the bell here’s Vince in that pink jacket again. Miz isn’t even out there yet. Vince sounds like he calls it the WWF Title. I’m pretty sure he did. He has to hurry though because there’s something else he needs to do. No title match? Apparently not as Vince says this is bigger than Rey. Sadly enough he doesn’t make the required joke. Yep the match is postponed so no match here.

Vince reiterates that no one is bigger than the WWE, including John Cena. There’s a CM Punk chant. Vince talks about how this isn’t about his ego and how he did what was right from a business perspective. This was a long term decision and in time, the fans will thank him. Let’s get this over with apparently and here’s Cena.

Cena says he isn’t going to go through some big rant or tirade and he knows what’s coming. He isn’t going to go through what Shawn Michaels went through. Apparently this is about Montreal somehow and how Shawn had to go through the constant reminders of how he screwed Bret. Cena doesn’t want to be remembered as the guy that screwed CM Punk.

Last night was about Vince wanting to keep his bubble intact because no one can embarrass Vince. Vince needed a patsy but Cena wasn’t going to play ball that way. Cena tells Punk that was a great match. He wasn’t going to take the title that way because it would have made it look meaningless. That’s true to an extent. Cena says Vince now has about 8 months to find a new opponent for Rock. Somehow he’s sure Vince can pull it off though so it doesn’t really matter.

Cena says that we should just get to it. He says if Vince has to fire him here tonight, he’ll keep doing it on someone else’s TV show….Brother. Hokey smoke we just got an actual Impact reference. Cena starts to walk but Vince stops him. And…….it’s time to play the game? Here’s HHH of all people in a suit. Vince is all happy to see him but HHH isn’t thrilled.

There was a board of directors meeting this morning and he says that twice for some reason. The board is concerned about the current situation. HHH wants to take this to the back so it doesn’t have to be in person. The board however is about Vince. It’s true that Vince built all this, but at the same time they’re worried about Vince’s “extremely questionable decisions” as of late.

HHH again offers to take this to the back but Vince says do it here. The board has asked HHH to come here to tell Vince that there’s an injunction against him with a vote of no confidence. Vince laughs it off but apparently the family agrees. On top of that, the board has appointed someone to take over the day to day operations. That would be……HHH apparently. Cena IS NOT fired and HHH is about to cry. Vince is officially relieved of his duties (HUGE pop for that) and HHH breaks down. He loves “pop” and he’s sorry. Vince stands in the middle of the ring and HHH walks out. A thank you Vince chant ends this.

Overall Rating: C+. What a difference 15 minutes makes. I had this all ready to go with a bad grade and then they spring this Vince is fired thing on me. HHH as the new Mr. McMahon could work incredibly well as he’s someone we’re familiar with and he could even jump in the ring once in awhile. I liked the ending a lot and I’m very interested in where this could go. The first two hours were pretty awful but the ending is awesome stuff indeed. Good ending to an otherwise bad show.

Results

The Miz b. Alex Riley – Skull Crushing Finale

R-Truth b. Jack Swagger – Rollup

Kofi Kingston b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup

Rey Mysterio b. Dolph Ziggler – Top Rope Splash

Kelly Kelly/AJ/Kaitlyn/Gail Kim/Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres/Natalya b. Rosa Mendes/Tamina/Bella Twins/Maryse/Alicia Fox

The Miz b. Kofi Kingston – Skull Crushing Finale

Rey Mysterio b. R-Truth – Top Rope Splash

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Money in the Bank 2013
Date: July 14, 2013
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is one of the funnest shows of the year more often than not so I have high hopes for tonight. The main events are of course the two ladder matches along with Henry challenging Cena for the Raw Title. This is one of those shows where you can just turn your brain off and enjoy some wild action so hopefully things are as fun as they have the potential to be. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Tag Titles: Usos vs. Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins

Shield is defending. Rollins starts with Jey with the Uso quickly getting two off a backslide. Off to Reigns who gets chopped down and caught with a double suplex for two. The fans are already chanting for RVD. A double spinebuster gets two for Jey as this is one sided so far. Seth pulls Roman out of the way of a superkick as we take a break during the pre-show. Back with the Usos still in control but Rollins avoids a charge and brings in Reigns to take over.

A clothesline sends Jey off the apron and out to the floor as Shield starts making fast tags. Rollins kicks Jey in the back for two and puts on a chinlock. Jey keeps fighting back but can’t make the hot tag. Seth is sent to the floor and Reigns is kicked away but Rollins dives to break up the hot tag. Jey is knocked tot he floor for a hard clothesline from Reigns. We take ANOTHER break and come back with Jimmy diving over the top to take out the Shield. Not that we got to see the hot tag or anything, but we needed a trailer for Dead Man Down right?

Jimmy gets a VERY close two off a high cross body and the Samoan drop gets two on Rollins. Seth comes back and loads up a superplex on Jey but the other two come in to make it a Tower of Doom with Jimmy taking the worst of it. Jimmy superkicks Rollins down and hits the Superfly Splash but Reigns makes a last second save. The fans correctly think this is awesome. Rollins counters a middle rope Samoan drop into an across the ring buckle bomb, setting up the Reigns’ spear for the pin to retain at 14:50.

Rating: B. WOW this was better than I was expecting. The near falls in this were off the charts and the Usos actually had me believing they were going to win. The Shield has insane chemistry out there and the Usos proved that they can hang with them move for move. Excellent stuff here and by far the best pre-show match they’ve ever had.

The opening video is of course about money with the briefcases being loaded into an armored car. Cena and Henry get a generic video package as well.

Fandango vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Damien Sandow vs. Jack Swagger vs. Antonio Cesaro vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Wade Barrett

Colter does his usual anti foreigners rant about being in one of the founding cities of America. “Maybe Betsy Ross should have put a taco and a burrito on the flag.” It’s a huge brawl to start and I’m not going to be able to keep up with most of the action in the ladder matches tonight. The two teams lay everyone else out and bring in a ladder each. Cesaro hits the gutwrench suplex to send Cody into the ladder before shouting WE THE PEOPLE. The Scholars take Cesaro the floor but Ambrose stops Swagger from climbing.

Ambrose, the crowd favorite, is left alone in the ring but Barrett makes the save. Barrett kicks Ambrose in the face, knocking the ladder on top of him in the process. Fandango kicks the ladder into Barrett’s face and hits a slingshot legdrop onto the ladder onto Barrett. Sandow makes the save as Dean knocks Rhodes off the top rope with another ladder. Fandango is sent face first into the ladder and suplexed onto the one in the corner for good measure. Cesaro makes a climb but has to stop Ambrose with a hanging chinlock off the ladder.

Cody makes the save and hits a Samoa Joe MuscleBuster to send Cesaro into a ladder. Barrett makes the save with a broken rung of a ladder in a new idea. He and Swagger go up now with Wade BLASTING him with the elbow to knock Swagger off. Fandango makes the save but Ambrose catches him with the bulldog driver off the bottom rung. Dean does the windmill spot with the ladder on his head but the Real Americans grab either end to break it up. They lift Ambrose in the air to choke him out but Ambrose skins the cat in mid air in an AWESOME spot. The Americans dump him to the floor but there’s no ladder left.

Cesaro gets on Swagger’s shoulders but Cody hits a springboard dropkick to take them both out. Cross Rhodes lays out Fandango and Barrett but he shouts instead of getting a ladder. He finally gets the big ladder but is met on top by Ambrose for a slugout. Cody rams him face first into the ladder over and over but Rollins and Reigns come out to break it up.

They run interference of everyone else in the match but here are the Usos to take the tag champions out. Cesaro and Swagger get in on the brawl as well but Ambrose is going up. Rhodes makes the save and shoves the ladder over, sending Ambrose onto everyone else. Cody is all alone but Sandow comes in out of nowhere to steal the case at 16:40.

Rating: B. This was solid but it was a step below a lot of these matches. The Ambrose and Shield stuff was great but I’m really not feeling the winner. Sandow hasn’t won a thing of note in like a year but he wins one match and we’re supposed to buy him as a main event level guy now? It doesn’t work that way but WWE can’t get that through their thick heads. Fans don’t forget wins and losses like the writers do.

Here’s Brad Maddox with something to say. He’s glad to be the GM and even though he can’t replace Vickie (“I don’t look good in high heels”) he’s put Vickie on the expert panel. She gets a spotlight followed by a video tribute to her on the Titantron. It’s a lot of her embarrassing moments followed by a standing boo for her. This is finally broken up by the start of the next match.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Curtis Axel

Axel is defending. Miz gets a quick cover off a shoulder block but Axel takes him into the corner for control. Curtis is sent to the floor and caught by a baseball slide before Miz sends him back inside. Miz stares Heyman down, claps his hands and falls down. The referee looks at Heyman and ejects him for allegedly hitting Miz. Smart move there. Axel takes over with a dropkick but the fans are MUCH quieter now. The Hennig necksnap gets two and we hit an armbar.

Back up and Miz avoids a charge in the corner but the fans do not care at all. A big boot puts Axel down and the corner clothesline sets up the top rope ax handle for two. Axel comes back with a PerfectPlex for two but Miz hits his one kick to the leg and puts on the Figure Four. Curtis reverses but gets turned over again, only to be right in the ropes for the break. Axel bails to the floor for a second before coming back in for his neckbreaker into a cutter for the pin to retain at 9:20.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but it had no heat at all. People just don’t care about Miz at all and the Figure Four is a big reason why. It’s just a horrible move for him and comes off like a lame Ric Flair tribute, which is pretty much what it is. Nothing to see here but it was a way to let the fans breathe a bit after the big match.

Summerslam ad, which is basically All Grown Up from Wrestlemania a few years ago.

Divas Title: Kaitlyn vs. AJ Lee

AJ is defending and this has been a very well built feud. They used to be friends but Kaitlyn went after the title instead of helping AJ when she was having relationship issues, so AJ turned on her and has taken everything Kaitlyn cares about. Kaitlyn has a bad elbow coming in and is with Layla here. Kaitlyn gets a quick two off a gutbuster but is sent into the post on the floor. AJ works on the arm with a bridging armbar (almost a one arm Cattle Mutilation) before hooking a crossface chickenwing of all things.

Back up and Kaitlyn fires off a dropkick and a big shoulder followed by the reverse DDT for two. AJ slaps her in the face so Kaitlyn takes her head off with a clothesline. Kaitlyn knocks her off the apron but Langston catches her in midair. The spear connects back inside but Kaitlyn hurts her elbow again. AJ hooks the Black Widow submission out of nowhere and Kaitlyn taps at 7:03.

Rating: C. Very basic match here but it worked well enough. Kaitlyn looked good with the power stuff (and the tight outfit) while AJ needed to be a bit more evil. I doubt this is over yet because that’s how WWE works, but the matches and story have been WAY better than anyone expected them to be.

The expert panel (Big Show, Kofi Kingston and Vickie) talk about the show so far.

Chris Jericho vs. Ryback

The fans go back and forth from Jericho to Goldberg chants. Ryback bails to the floor because he’s a coward now and Jericho takes him down with a baseball slide. Back in and Jericho hits a forearm to the back of the head but Ryback drills him with a shoulder. Jericho goes after the formerly bad leg but gets his neck snapped across the top rope for two. We hit the chinlock before Ryback gets two off a middle rope splash. Jericho is punched off the apron and lands between the two announce tables.

Back to the chinlock but Jericho escapes into a northern lights suplex and a failed Walls attempt. A top rope ax handle is caught in a Ryback belly to belly overhead suplex. The Meathook puts Jericho down and the Codebreaker is countered into a kind of spinebuster. A powerbomb gets two on Jericho but he comes back with an enziguri for two.

Ryback rolls to the apron and gets caught in a Codebreaker but he’s back in at nine. A high cross gets two for the Canadian but he walks into a gorilla press. Ryback drops him down into a fireman’s carry but Jericho counters into a DDT for two. Jericho misses the Lionsault and Ryback grabs a quick rollup for the pin at 10:20.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t terrible but man alive it’s pathetic what they’ve done to Ryback. They took everything good and interesting about him and turned it completely around to make sure the fans didn’t care about him at all. This was also the first match he’s won on PPV since last year’s MITB, yet WWE still wonders why no one cares about him.

Video on the opening of the WWE Performance Center.

We recap Ziggler vs. Del Rio. Ziggler won the world title through his MITB case the night after Wrestlemania then got injured on Smackdown. Del Rio went after Ziggler’s head to win the title at Payback so tonight it’s about revenge and the title for Dolph.

Smackdown World Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio

Ziggler gets an AMAZING pop. Feeling out process to start until Ziggler gets two off a dropkick. Ten straight elbow drops (with the fans counting along) have Del Rio in trouble and he falls out to the floor. Back in and Del Rio scores with a running enziguri before sending Ziggler hard into the barricade. We hit the chinlock as the fans are nearly comatose for Del Rio. Can you blame them? There’s NOTHING interesting about him at all. Ziggler misses a splash in the corner and Del Rio does that stupid smile of his.

Del Rio pounds on the back but misses a charge, sending him out to the floor. He tries to come in off the top but gets caught in a top rope X Factor for two. A Ziggler neckbreaker gets two and a Del Rio German suplex gets the same. The corner enziguri misses and Ziggler gets a close two off the Fameasser. It’s amazing how much the crowd is into Ziggler. Del Rio gets two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Ziggler gets the same by dropkicking Del Rio off the top.

Cue AJ to skip around the ring before Ziggler counters another tilt-a-whirl into a jumping DDT for two. Ziggler tells AJ to leave but the distraction allows Alberto to crotch him on the top. A reverse superplex gets two on Dolph and the low superkick gets the same. Del Rio lowers his knee pad to reveal the knee brace but Ziggler avoids the shot…..and AJ hits Del Rio with the Divas Title for the DQ at 14:27.

Rating: C+. This was getting good until the stupid ending. I have no idea what WWE’s obsession is with dragging out stories for as long as they can anymore but they need to get over it. This feud isn’t doing anything for anyone and it just keeps going. Either split up AJ and give Dolph the title or move on to something else. The match was good though.

Dolph yells at AJ post match and walks away, making Ziggler look like the jerk in the whole thing.

Video on WWE supporting the military.

Recap of Henry vs. Cena with Henry faking retirement and laying Cena out. He said the WWE Championship is the only thing he’s never won and he wants that one big run with the title. One thing WWE has done right in the last few years is make the WWE Championship seem like a MUCH bigger deal.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Mark Henry

Cena is of course booed out of the building. The champion charges at Henry and bounces off of him like a wall. Henry shoves him into the corner and a running splash gets two. Cena is front suplexed onto the steps for two as this is one sided so far. The fans chant Sexual Chocolate because that’s what smark crowds do for a Henry match as Mark drops a leg on the back of Cena’s neck. Henry throws Cena down and then out to the floor as the domination continues.

Back in and Henry stands around but misses a charge in the corner. Cena can’t slam him so Henry cranks on the neck a bit. John gets back up and hits the shoulder blocks followed by the Shuffle but Cena still can’t hit the AA. Henry falls on top for two but Cena counters a slam into most of a spinning DDT. Cena FINALLY hits the AA but it’s only good for two. The high cross is caught in a World’s Strongest Slam for two so Henry pulls the turnbuckle pad off. He also brings in a chair but as the referee is dealing with that, Henry pulls off another buckle.

Cena counters a whip into the buckle and hooks the STF but Mark easily gets to the rope. Henry gets two off a low blow but another World’s Strongest Slam is countered into the STF with Cena dragging Henry back to the middle of the ring. Henry taps out to retain Cena’s title at 14:40.

Rating: C. This was exactly what you would expect from this match. Henry came off like a monster of the month for the entirety of the buildup and that’s exactly what he was here. Nothing in this match made me care about it because no one believed Cena was in any real danger. It wasn’t horrible or anything but it came and went and nothing more.

We hear from the expert panel who have nothing interesting to say.

Video on the Wyatts attacking Kane.

CM Punk vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Christian vs. Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

RVD, Bryan and Punk get good reactions but the fans aren’t impressed with the others. Everyone goes after RVD to start and knock him to the floor. The remaining four go after Sheamus before pairing off themselves. We’re quickly down to Bryan vs. Punk and the fans go nuts in a hurry. Van Dam is knocked off the apron and into a ladder as the two stars go at it. Bryan almost botches the backflip but counters the GTS into a YES Lock attempt, only to have everyone not named RVD make the save with a ladder.

Van Dam is back in now to clean house and pose a bit. Some baseball slides drop Punk and Sheamus before Rob drops Christian onto a ladder. Rolling Thunder onto Bryan onto the ladder takes Daniel out but it’s Orton sending Van Dam to the floor. Rob kicks him down and loads up the Five Star onto Orton onto the ladder but Christian breaks it up with a short ladder. Christian loses a fight to Sheamus over a full sized ladder but Van Dam breaks up the pale one’s climb with Sheamus landing on the ladder on the way down.

Sheamus is up almost immediately and rams various people into the barricade before bridging a ladder between the apron and the announce table. Bryan escapes a powerbomb through the ladder and hits a running knee to the face from the apron. Punk is loading up a ladder but Orton makes the save. Another ladder is brought in and all six climb up on two ladders with the briefcase being knocked away. All six fall down and Orton is holding his knee.

It’s Sheamus on his feet first and cleaning house before going up, only to be caught by Bryan. We get the ten forearms on the top of the ladder but Punk stops Sheamus from pulling down the case. Sheamus and Punk slug it out in the corner but Punk hits the running knee to take him down, followed by riding the ladder down onto his back. Orton comes back in and suplexes Punk into the ladder followed by the Elevated DDT.

Christian comes back in and spears Randy down but Van Dam knocks him off the ladder. The fans of course want tables as Christian goes up again. Van Dam is cut on the forehead. They both go up but Van Dam jumps to another ladder as Christian falls. The splash off the top of the ladder crushes Christian but Sheamus shoves Rob off the ladder. Bryan is back in to kick both of them before going into his usual insane rush.

He throws Sheamus THROUGH a ladder and goes up top…..but Curtis Axel of all people comes out with a chair to beat him down. He lays Bryan out with his finisher on the floor but walks into a GTS. Heyman comes out to yell at Axel because he wants Punk to win. CM starts a very slow climb while holding his neck….and Heyman of course screws him by ramming another ladder into him. Punk is busted open BAD and here’s Van Dam going up the ladder, only to have Orton make the save with an RKO. Orton pulls down the case to win at 26:31.

Rating: B-. Well that happened. Seriously that’s about all there is to it. Everyone was about the same but the winner wasn’t terribly obvious for most of the match. It wasn’t bad or anything but you expect more when you have this level of talent in the match. At the end of the day though there was no hatred between these guys and that makes for a duller match. The Heyman stuff was pretty obvious but it sets up Lesnar vs. Punk at Summerslam.

Overall Rating: C. This show wasn’t terrible but aside from maybe the ladder matches, there’s nothing interesting on here at all. Everything felt like it was just there to fill in a spot on the card which isn’t what you expect from a show like this. It’s not a horrible show but there’s nothing worth going out of your way to see here. Believe it or not, Payback blew the doors off this show.

Results

Shield b. Usos – Spear to Jimmy

Damien Sandow b. Cody Rhodes, Antonio Cesaro, Jack Swagger, Fandango, Dean Ambrose and Wade Barrett – Sandow pulled down the briefcase

AJ Lee b. Kaitlyn – Black Widow

Ryback b. Chris Jericho – Rollup

Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when AJ Lee interefered

John Cena b. Mark Henry – STF

Randy Orton b. Rob Van Dam, Sheamus, CM Punk, Christian and Daniel Bryan – Orton pulled down the briefcase

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

It’s not who you would think.Sandow won.  This falls under the “let’s have them lose every match for months but give them one win and expect people to care” category.

Yes that’s the real name, as per Colter’s Twitter.So Cesaro is filling in for Swagger now due to Jack’s hand injury.  The first thing that comes to my mind is how good of an idea this is for multiple reasons.

1. Cesaro isn’t as broken as Swagger.  Jack has built a reputation as being someone who can’t win anything of note other than a fluke world title a few years back.  He chokes in every big match he’s been in for years and people don’t buy him as a threat.  While Cesaro is a jobber to the stars, he hasn’t been in many huge matches, meaning he isn’t viewed as a choker yet.

2. Colter looks like an even bigger hypocrite.  This idea that heels have to tell the truth or make sense all the time needs to die a very horrible death.  Having Colter say random nonsense and then not live up to it while still saying it is EXACTLY how heels can get heat without being boring.  Simply put, people will pay their money to see someone like that get what’s coming to them, thereby creating tension and a story that people want to see.  It’s called booking a story, which is a lost art anymore.  This should also shut up a lot of the fans that agree with his views in a double benefit.

3. Cesaro is better than Swagger.  He just is, in ever aspect of the word.

Even Cole immediately buried this on commentary.It’s Cesaro, who completely misses the point of Colter’s speeches.  In other words, now he’s a jobber to the stars with a manager.  That’s an improvement for him at least.

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 20, 2013
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Extreme Rules and we have some major developments. First and foremost, Shield has possession of the US and Tag Team Titles, giving them their first gold and making them look even more dominant than they did before. Cena vs. Ryback went to a no contest after Ryback knocked Cena through the set and neither guy could continue. Also to the shock of no one, Lesnar was made to look like he survived his match against HHH instead of destroying the Game. Tonight we should be able to find out where things are going until Payback. Let’s get to it.

We open with an ambulance driving into the arena with its sirens blaring. Inside of the ambulance is Ryback, now with a Ryback Rules vest. Ryback says that last night he had a no decision in the last man standing match which is unfair. We get a clip of Cena refusing to be placed inside an ambulance, but next time he won’t be able to do that because the rematch at Payback is an ambulance match. Ryback goes on a rant about how the fans have no self discipline and that he’ll win the title next month. This only took like three minutes which was a nice surprise.

Tonight we find out who Paul Heyman’s newest client is.

Wade Barrett/Fandango vs. The Miz/Chris Jericho

Barrett has new music and I guess is still feuding with Miz because he has to feud with someone. Jericho and Barrett start things off with the Englishman being taken down by a dropkick. Chris charges into an elbow to the face and it’s off to Fandango with a clothesline. As Jericho fights back, we get a clip of Road Dogg talking to Kaitlyn on the WWE App. Seriously, WHY DO WE NEED TO SEE THAT? Fandango and Barrett have a small disagreement and we take a break.

Back with Miz fighting out of a chinlock before hitting a hard boot to the head. Miz loads up the figure four but Fandango grabs a mic to say his own name. There’s his music and it’s time to dance. Barrett yells at Fandango as Jericho gets rolling with a top rope shot to the head. A bulldog sets up the Lionsault for no cover. The Codebreaker takes Barrett down again and it’s off to Miz for the figure four and the submission at 8:20.

Rating: N/A. It was long enough to rate but most of that was in a commercial or spent with Fandango dancing. There’s nothing to see here (almost literally) other than Summer’s legs, but at least Barrett was beaten in just a few minutes again right? That’s the important thing at the end of the day.

Post match Jericho and Miz chase Fandango off. Jericho takes Summer’s hand and dips her back before laughing at her and walking off.

Here’s Vickie to tell us that we can vote for who Swagger faces on the WWE App: Great Khali, R-Truth or Randy Orton.

Bryan is ticked off in the back when Kane comes in. Daniel realizes that neither of them are the Tag Team Champions anymore but Kane says calm down. That’s from the guy that said embrace the hate so Bryan doesn’t care. He says he feels lost without his title, but Kane thinks it’s because Bryan isn’t wearing a shirt or pants. They get a rematch with Shield but they have to show no weakness. Bryan thinks that’s an insult to him and an argument nearly breaks out. Kofi pops in to break it up.

Sheamus vs. Titus O’Neil

Before the match, we get a clip from last night of Mark Henry saying he’s going home. They lock up to start with Sheamus shoving Titus down. A shoulder block puts Sheamus down as well though as Titus shows off some power. Sheamus throws him to the apron for the ten forearms before sending Darren Young into the barricade. The distraction lets Titus take Sheamus’ head off with a clothesline and we head back inside.

A standing fallaway slam puts Sheamus down for two and it’s off to a chinlock. Sheamus fights up and tries White Noise, only to be sent to the floor. He loads up the slingshot shoulder but Darren Young trips him up, giving Titus two. Titus misses a charge in the corner and now White Noise connects. The Brogue Kick finishes O’Neil at 6:29.

Rating: C. This is the kind of stuff they need to do more often. Instead of having Sheamus beat up one of the Rhodes Scholars for the 95^th time, you can give Titus a chance to show what he can do while not wasting someone like Cody or Damien. This way we get a fresh match which was a lot better than I was expecting.

Here’s Heyman to unveil his newest client. Heyman says that the fans are powerless with their booing because last night Brock Lesnar beat HHH inside a cage. HHH will go down in history as a loser to Lesnar so neither of them are here tonight, only it’s Lesnar enjoying the victory. However, it’s now time to do something new. This is something that is going to make the fans set their DVRs and remember this moment fifteen years from now. The newest Paul Heyman guy is Michael McGillicutty, now known as Curtis Axel.

Heyman talks about how this is the same as Brock Lesnar debuting in 2002 and CM Punk being a Paul Heyman guy. He talks about Axel being a third generation guy and being held back by politics so why isn’t he a main event superstar? His name is Curtis after his father and Axel after his grandfather, Larry the Ax Hennig. Heyman introduces him to the crowd but here’s HHH with a rebuttal.

HHH looks at Axel and Heyman while talking about the Kool-Aid that Heyman has whipped up. He tells Axel to let the adults talk and says that he isn’t embarrassed. HHH talks about going to war with Lesnar and how Brock limped away from their fight. It would make HHH really happy to beat up Paul Heyman right now but Axel steps between them. Axel says the game around here has changed and if HHH wants to talk to Heyman, he has to talk to Axel first. HHH slaps him in the face and says it’s Curtis vs. HHH later tonight.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E. Langston

Del Rio sends Langston shoulder first into the post and tries for a quick cross armbreaker, only to have Big E. lift him up and slam him down. The hold isn’t broken though and Big E. makes it to the ropes. Del Rio gets it on again from the apron but Langston lifts him up and slams him into the post in an impressive power display.

Back in and Langston bends Del Rio’s back over his knee, only to get caught in a tornado DDT. Del Rio hits the low superkick for two but is sent to the floor when loading up the armbreaker. Back in and the enziguri puts Langston down, only to have AJ throw in the bucket. The distraction lets Langston poke Alberto in the eye and hit the Big Ending for the pin at 4:37.

Rating: D+. And the stupid booking continues. Del Rio wins the #1 contenders match last night and gets pinned in less than five minutes here. How this makes me want to see Ziggler vs. Del Rio again is beyond me, but I’m sure I’m just not smart enough to get it. It’s good for Langston but there was zero need for Del Rio to lose here.

AJ Lee vs. Layla

The Bellas are watching in the back as AJ takes Layla down. Apparently AJ is a rat in stupid looking shorts. Layla kicks AJ down and makes fun of the skipping. A low dropkick puts AJ down but after AJ hides in the corner, she comes out with the Black Widow for the tap out at 1:43.

Cody Rhodes vs. Zack Ryder

This is joined in progress after a bell although it doesn’t seem like we’ve missed much. Rhodes goes after the arm to start as we see Ryback watching in the back for no apparent reason. The release suplex gets two on Ryder but Zack hits his knees in the corner and a middle rope dropkick. Ryder’s Broski Boot gets two but he gets caught by the Disaster Kick for the pin at 2:37.

Post match here’s Ryback to destroy Ryder because he can. He hits a nice powerbomb which could be a new finisher for him. Ryder gets Shell Shocked and thrown into the ambulance for good measure.

Kofi Kingston/HELL NO vs. Shield

Before the match, Shield brags about all the victories they’ve accumulated and how their new titles are proof of how amazing they are. The opening bell is after a break of course. Kofi and Dean get things going with Ambrose taking him down, only to be slapped in the face. A monkey flip and armdrag take Dean down and ew hit a quick armbar. Off to Bryan for some knee drops and a hammerlock. Tag off to Rollins who gets caught in a surfboard position, only to have Bryan stomp down on the legs.

Kane gets the tag and a near fall off the low dropkick. Back to Kofi for an armbar but Seth drives him into the corner for the tag off to Reigns. He powers Kofi down in a kind of suplex for two and it’s back to Ambrose for a dropkick and the same result. The Shield keeps tagging quickly as it’s back to Rollins who drops Kofi again, only to be caught in a headscissors.

Kofi makes the hot tag to Bryan who moonsaults out of the corner and hits a running clothesline. Bryan goes up but gets crotched down, but he still manages to block a superplex by Ambrose. The missile dropkick puts Dean down for two and it’s off to the NO Lock. Ambrose gets to the rope very quickly and heads to the floor as we take a break.

Back with the tag off to Dean to continue the beating on Kofi, only for Kingston to fight out and make the tag to Bryan. Ambrose is put in the Tree of Woe and kicked in the ribs, followed by a baseball slide for good measure. Back to Rollins for a buckle bomb in the corner but Bryan is out at two again. Reigns comes back in and runs over Bryan with a clothesline before it’s back to Ambrose for some stomps to the ribs. Dean talks a lot of trash to Bryan but gets punched in the face for his efforts.

Reigns breaks up a tag attempt, only to be kicked away, allowing for the hot tag to Kane. The side slam gets two on Roman as everything breaks down. Kofi and Bryan hit stereo suicide dives on Dean and Seth before Kane hits a running DDT for tow on Reigns. Ambrose suplexes Bryan down on the floor and Seth puts Kofi into the post. Dean tries to jump on Kane but gets caught by an uppercut. Seth breaks up the chokeslam on Reigns with the top rope knee, allowing Roman to spear Kane down for the pin at 22:55.

Rating: B. Good long tag match here which did exactly what it was supposed to do: keep the Shield looking strong heading into the rematches. Seeing them with the gold around them is a great sight as it shows even more how dominant they are. The fact that champions are actually winning is a good sign as well.

We recap the HHH/Axel/Heyman stuff from earlier.

Kaitlyn gets a phone number from the secret admirer but there’s no voicemail on it. Natalya offers to have Khali go sneak around but Kaitlyn says no. Cody walks by with a phone and Natalya steals it, thinking he’s the admirer. Apparently it’s not him as he’s posting pictures of himself on the internet. Didn’t we already eliminate Cody recently?

HHH says he can compete tonight despite the doctor saying he can’t.

Jack Swagger vs. Randy Orton

Lawler announces the result and Orton wins with only 72% of the vote. I was expecting a lot higher. Swagger quickly takes him to the mat with a top wristlock but Orton fights up and dropkicks him out to the floor. A clothesline keeps Swagger down and Orton pounds away at his head back inside. Jack fires back with some shoulders in the corner but Randy kicks him in the robs and hits a Thesz Press.

Swagger takes the knee out with a chop block and hits a DDT on the leg before putting on a standing leg lock. Orton fights up and sends Swagger out to the floor, only to have the Elevated DDT broke up with a drive into the barricade. Back in and it’s the same leg lock, only to have Orton punch his way out. He heads up top but gets shoved to the floor as we take a break. Back with Orton escaping the leg lock again and sending a charging Swagger shoulder first into the post.

Orton superplexes Swagger down for two and blocks the Vader Bomb with a kick to the ribs. The powerslam sets up the Elevated DDT, but Jack escapes and hits a high angle belly to belly for two. There’s the Patriot Lock but Orton easily rolls out and hits the backbreaker for two. Now the Elevated DDT connects but the RKO is countered into the Patriot Lock. Orton finally breaks the hold and hits the RKO for the pin at 16:12.

Rating: C+. This got better towards the end but it was more long than good. The problem at the end of the day is Orton isn’t tapping out to the ankle lock so we were just waiting for him to hit the RKO to end this. It’s a decent match, but man alive they could have cut five minutes out of this with ease.

We look at Ryback’s promo earlier in the night, as well as him throwing Ryder in the ambulance.

Curtis Axel vs. Triple H

Feeling out process to start with HHH shoving Axel into the corner and clotheslining him down. HHH throws him to the floor and Curtis is looking like a jobber so far. Back in and Axel gets in some shots in the corner, stomping the Game down. A dropkick gets one on HHH and an elbow to the face keeps HHH down. Curtis is working on the jaw that was hit by the sledgehammer last night. A middle rope elbow gets two and we hit the chinlock. HHH fights up and hits some shoulder blocks in the corner to take over.

The facebuster sets up the spinebuster but instead of the Pedigree, HHH clotheslines him to the floor. Another clothesline puts Curtis down and HHH throws him back in….before not getting back in himself. HHH shakes his head and sits down at the timekeeper’s table, saying that he needs water. Earlier tonight the doctors told him he couldn’t compete because of what happened last night. HHH tries to get up but the doctor comes out and says the match is over at roughly 7:30.

Rating: D+. Erg. Yet again, it’s all about HHH. It couldn’t be something that Axel did to him, but rather HHH overdoing it because THAT’S WHAT HE DOES. Axel looked like a complete afterthought here other than some decent stuff in the beginning. At least HHH didn’t crush him. That’s something…..right?

Overall Rating: C+. There was some good stuff on here including a very good six man tag. However, a lot of the stuff made you want to ram your head into a wall as you wonder what WWE is possibly thinking. I don’t know why they can’t just have Ryback vs. Cena in a wrestling match, but hey at least we can have one of the all time lame gimmicks of the ambulance match.

For fun tonight, I clocked the amount of time spent on recaps and commercials, not counting stuff done during the actual show (such as WWE App nonsense). In total, over a full hour was spent hyping something or recapping stuff from earlier in the show. I understand the commercials, but do we really need to spend almost ten minutes watching stuff we already saw? Good stuff for the most part but there was too much bad mixed in bringing it down.

Results

Chris Jericho/The Miz vs. Fandango/Wade Barrett – Figure four to Barrett

Sheamus b. Titus O’Neil – Brogue Kick

Big E. Langston b. Albeto Del Rio – Big Ending

AJ Lee b. Layla – Black Widow

Shield b. HELL NO/Kofi Kingston – Spear to Kane

Randy Orton b. Jack Swagger – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Extreme Rules 2013
Date: May 19, 2013
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is a card that has gotten a long time to build itself up, yet the top matches are still pretty weak. The main events tonight are Ryback challenging John Cena in a last man standing match and HHH facing Brock Lesnar inside a cage. The rest of the card has been built up far better than these matches and should be much more entertaining. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: The Miz vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody starts fast by trying to jump Miz, only to be caught in a flapjack and a backslide for one. A clothesline puts Rhodes down but a kick to the face misses Cody, allowing him to hit a quick hot shot for two. The release front suplex gets two for Rhodes and it’s off to a bodyscissors. Back up and Cody pounds away before putting on an armbar.

A rollup gets two for Rhodes and it’s back to the bodyscissors. Miz fights up and hits some kicks to the ribs and head before getting a near fall off a sunset flip. Miz escapes CrossRhodes but the figure four is broken up as well. Cody dives off the ropes and lands in the figure four for the tap out at 4:52.

Rating: D+. This was nothing special and was the same kind of match you could see on any given Raw. Miz’s problem at this point is he has no reason to be considered a face other than the announcers treat him like one. He’s just a guy out there wrestling and the same could be said of Cody. That makes for a really dull set of matches, as there’s no reason to care about either guy and the matches aren’t all that great in the first place.

The opening video focuses on the main events and how tonight is different from the other nights of the year.

Chris Jericho vs. Fandango

This is a rematch from Wrestlemania where Fandango won his debut match in a major upset. Jericho goes after him to start and pounds on Fandango’s head to send the dancer out to the floor. Chris follows him out and sends Fandango into the barricade before dancing on the announce table. Back in and Jericho stomps away at Fandango to send him back to the floor. Fandango gets back in and gets a boot up to stop a charging Jericho in the corner to take over.

After a kick to Jericho’s ribs we hit the chinlock, only to have Fandango hit him in the ribs for another near fall. A slingshot legdrop gets two for Fandango and it’s back to the chinlock. Jericho fights up and hits some shoulder blocks followed by the top rope ax handle for two. Fandango kicks out of the Walls so Jericho goes up top for a crossbody, only to have Fandango roll through for a two count.

Fandango kicks Jericho in the face to keep him down before loading up the guillotine legdrop. Chris rolls away though and hits the Lionsault for a near fall. Can that even be called a finishing move anymore? Fandango tries a sunset flip out of the corner but gets caught in the Walls of Jericho, only to grab the ropes a second later. Jericho charges into a boot in the corner and Fandango goes up, only to dive into the Codebreaker for the pin at 8:32.

Rating: C+. This was better than their match at Wrestlemania and the ending looked good. Fandango isn’t going to lose his credibility now as he won the original match, which is what WWE usually gets backwards in their booking of these characters. Good opener here and the fans are fired up now.

Sheamus says that the trucks Henry has been pulling around don’t hit back like he does. Tonight, the Celtic Warrior goes extreme.

Video from Raw of Ryback attacking Cena’s bad leg.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dean Ambrose

Kofi is defending. Rollins and Reigns walk back up into the crowd to keep this as an actual one on one match. Feeling out process to start with Kofi trying a quick Trouble in Paradise but Dean grabs the rope. A hiptoss sends Ambrose down and Kofi pounds away in the corner. Dean comes out of the corner with a clothesline and drops an elbow for one. With Kofi against the ropes, Ambrose hits a hard dropkick for a near fall. Ambrose talks trash and puts on a crossface chicken wing of all things, complete with a grapevine.

Kofi fights up and sends Ambrose face first into the buckle to escape before dropping him with a dropkick. Boom Drop connects but Ambrose backs away before Trouble in Paradise can launch. SOS gets two on Dean and Kofi goes up top, only to be crotched down and caught with a butterfly superplex for two.

Ambrose charges into a kick to the face in the corner and there’s a top rope cross body for two for the champion. Dean goes to the apron and there’s Trouble in Paradise but it knocks Ambrose to the floor. Kofi throws him back in for two but another Trouble in Paradise only hits ropes. The bulldog driver gives us a new champion at 6:45.

Rating: C+. This was exactly what it was supposed to be. Kofi was given the title to drop it to someone like Ambrose and he did that just fine. Kingston is the kind of guy who can bounce back no matter who he loses to so he’ll be just fine. This should be the first of many titles for Shield and it’s a very good sign that they’re getting gold this soon.

Shield comes out to celebrate post match but doesn’t beat Kofi down.

We look at Henry vs. Sheamus, which is built around Henry displaying his power and Sheamus outsmarting him. Tonight they’re tied together with a strap and you have to drag your opponent around the ring and touch all four corners in succession (meaning that if you get three but your opponent breaks your momentum, you have to start over again) to win.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

There are lights in each cover to keep track of who has touched which with Sheamus having green lights and Henry having red. Sheamus trips Henry down to start and Mark is already ticked off. They slug it out and Sheamus goes back to the leg to put Henry down again. Sheamus gets one corner but Henry easily pulls him to the middle of the ring to break the streak. Henry gets smart by hogtying Sheamus’ feet together, only to have Sheamus break the streak after one buckle.

Sheamus knocks him over the top and out to the floor, only to have Sheamus get on the apron and pop Henry in the face. In a smart move, Sheamus runs the apron to get three straight buckles, only to have Henry take him down with a clothesline. Back in and Henry puts Sheamus on his shoulder before walking around to the corners. Sheamus is touching them as he goes along though and it’s 3-3. Henry catches on though and headbutts Sheamus down, breaking both streaks. Sheamus comes back with forearms to the face and drops a bunch of knees to slow Henry down.

We finally get to what we wanted to see: Sheamus whipping Henry with the strap. A beaten down Henry has trouble stopping Sheamus from getting to the first three buckles but Sheamus charges into a spinebuster to break his momentum. Back to the floor with Sheamus pulling Henry into the post in a smart move. They go back inside with Sheamus getting three but getting caught in the World’s Strongest Slam. Before Henry can drop Sheamus though, the Celtic Warrior bails out and Brogue Kicks Henry down, allowing him to hit the fourth buckle at 7:58.

Rating: C-. This was pretty underwhelming given what was expected of them. The problem with these matches is the same every time: it becomes about strategy instead of the violence that the match was built up on. Strap matches are always better when the guys get to destroy each other, but that might be interesting so we better not do that here.

AJ is on the phone with Dolph when Kaitlyn comes up. Apparently AJ has said she’s too distraught to face Kaitlyn so AJ makes fun of the secret admirer. Kaitlyn calls her Looney Tunes and AJ is mad. Kaitlyn quotes Porky Pig which AJ calls appropriate and the beating is on.

Here are Colter and Swagger with Zeb complaining about the IRS and AP phone tapping scandals before ripping into the St. Louis Cardinals for having too many Latin players.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger

This is an I Quit match for the #1 contendership. Del Rio hits a fast clothesline to send Swagger to the floor. A flying knee takes Jack down on the floor and it’s already weapons time. Del Rio’s first choice is a kendo stick but Del Rio gets caught in a belly to belly to put him down. Swagger pulls the barricade covering off but Alberto sends him into the steps before Jack can do anything else.

Alberto goes after the arm as is his custom before stomping it against the steps. Back in and Swagger gets in some kendo stick shots to give Jack control. The fans want Ziggler but they get more kendo stick shots to Del Rio’s leg. Swagger ties Del Rio’s arms in the ropes and pounds away at his chest with the stick. Alberto gets his arm free and catches Swagger in the armbreaker while in the ropes, only to fall backwards onto the floor.

Jack brings in a chair but gets caught by an enziguri to put him down. Del Rio fires off his usual clotheslines and the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker followed by the low superkick. Swagger gets caught in the ropes and Del Rio pelts his back with the stick before hitting the Backstabber for good measure. The armbreaker is countered into a belly to belly suplex and the gutwrench suplex puts Del Rio down again. He still won’t quit but the no’s are getting weaker.

Another powerbomb puts Del Rio down but he grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere. Remember that rope breaks don’t count here as they mentioned on Raw. Swagger counters into the Patriot Lock but Del Rio still won’t give up. Swagger grapevines the leg but Del Rio won’t quit. Out of nowhere, Colter grabs the white towel that Ricardo was carrying and throws it in, which counts as Del Rio quitting, giving Swagger the win at 9:25.

Actually scratch that as another referee comes out and says that Colter threw it in. We look at a replay and the referee says if Del Rio can continue, the match will restart. Del Rio says let’s continue so Swagger goes after the leg again. Alberto fires off a superkick to the arm and puts on the armbreaker but Swagger won’t say it. Scratch that as he does quit at 13:50.

Rating: C. Well that helped absolutely no one at all. I’m not sure what in the world the point of the false finish was given that it was resolved in literally two minutes. Swagger taps out to Del Rio again which continues to make him look worthless in this persona. I’m guessing this allows them to do the threeway anyway, making this match pretty much pointless all around.

Ryback says all Cena has left are words, but Cena is a liar. Tonight Ryback Rules and he wins the title.

Tag Titles: Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins vs. HELL NO

This is Texas Tornado rules, meaning all four men are in the ring at the same time. The fact that there were some deaths a few days ago due to tornadoes in Texas makes this bad timing for this gimmick. Kane and Bryan are defending. It’s a big brawl to start as you would expect with the champions taking over. Bryan puts Rollins in the surfboard and Kane adds in a low dropkick for two.

Kane gets double teamed down in the corner and then Bryan gets the same treatment. Reigns loads up a powerbomb off the middle rope but Bryan counters into a rana to put everyone down. Kane grabs both Shield members by the throat before shoving them to the floor, allowing Bryan to hit the suicide dive to take both guys out. The champions take turn hitting clotheslines on both guys in the corners before Kane hits the top rope clothesline on Rollins, allowing Bryan to hit the Flying Goat for two.

Bryan gets the NO Lock on Reigns but Rollins finally makes the save. A chokeslam puts Rollins down but Roman catches Kane with the spear. Back up and Reigns shoves Kane into Bryan, only to get caught around the throat. Seth comes in off the top with a knee to Kane’s head, allowing Reigns to hit a second spear. Bryan makes the save but can’t get the NO Lock on Reigns. Rollins makes the save so Reigns can put Bryan in a torture rack. Seth comes off the top with a knee to the chest, good for the pin and the titles at 7:24.

Rating: C+. Again this was ok but nothing great. They could have used another five to ten minutes here but for some reason they’re flying through these matches tonight. Shield winning was the only logical conclusion as there was nothing left for Bryan/Kane to do with the belts at this point. Decent but not great here.

We look at the pre-show match.

There’s going to be a post show with Mick Foley, Wade Barrett, Titus O’Neil and Renee Young.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

This is an Extreme Rules match, meaning anything goes. Orton agreed to trust Big Show at Wrestlemania but annoyed Big Show by taking the tag himself, causing Show to knock Orton out. Orton gets a big reaction as the hometown boy. Show shrugs off an early flurry by Orton before running Randy down with a big shoulder. JBL incorrectly says that Orton’s dad was in the main event of the first Wrestlemania. He was at ringside but not in the match.

We head to the floor with Orton getting in some kendo stick shots, only to have Show take the stick away and break it over his knee. Orton pulls out another stick but Show breaks that one as well. Show puts Orton up against the announce table for a LOUD chop, only to be rammed face first into the post to give Orton a breather. It’s ladder time but Show slams it off Orton’s head to put Randy down again.

Back inside and Orton’s shoulder hits the post but Randy comes back with a dropkick. Orton pounds away in the corner but Show easily picks him up and slams him down for two. Show throws the ladder inside and gets a few chairs for good measure. He sets up the chairs in the corner and bridges the ladder across them like a mini platform. Show lays Orton on the ladder but misses a Vader Bomb and crushes the ladder, giving Orton two.

The Elevated DDT connects and Orton goes into his place. The fans get all fired up and there’s the RKO but Big Show kicks out at two. That’s one of the few finishers that has been protected over the years so it had to be kicked out of eventually, as in WWE finishers mean nothing anymore.

Orton gets another chair and cracks Show in the back with it over and over again. They head back inside for a shot to the chest, but Big Show hits a spear to put Orton down. Not that it matters though as Orton kicks him in the face and hits an RKO on the chair. Instead of covering though, Orton shakes his head and has a freaky smile on his face. The Punt makes its return and that’s enough for the pin at 13:05.

Rating: B-. This was the match of the night so far but even still it wasn’t all that great. The Punt was a nice addition but I’m rather surprised that they would allow it given what happened to Ziggler recently. Still though, not bad here and Orton winning was the right move for the hometown crowd.

We recap Cena vs. Ryback. At Wrestlemania, Cena won the title while Ryback lost to Mark Henry. The next night Ryback turned on Cena due to Cena constantly leaving him to be beaten down by Shield. Cena injured his ankle on a European tour so tonight it’s a last man standing match, playing to Ryback’s advantage.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback

Last man standing, which means you have to keep your opponent down for a ten count to win. Also Cena is defending if that wasn’t clear. Ryback shoves Cena down to start and the fans chant Goldberg at the challenger. Cena’s ankle is strong enough to survive a leapfrog and there’s a bulldog to take Ryback down. After Ryback hits some shoulders in the corner, he catches Cena diving off the middle rope in a powerslam for a six count. A gorilla press puts Cena down for eight.

Cena pulls himself to his feet and then pulls the top rope down, sending Ryback out to the floor. With Ryback up at six, John slides a table into the ring. Ryback escapes the AA though and hits his over the shoulder Stunner for an eight count. The table is set up in the corner now but Cena takes Ryback down with some shoulder blocks. Ryback catches him in mid-air though and hits a fallaway slam through the table. Cena makes it up at nine and avoids a charging Ryback, sending him shoulder first into the post.

The ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle but Ryback again counters the AA. A weak spear puts Cena down but Cena pops back up and hits a powerbomb of all things for an eight. Back up and Cena puts him in a kind of choke hold, only to be countered into a spinebuster. That and the Meathook are enough for a seven but Cena grabs the STF out of nowhere. Ryback is out but Cena is pulling in another table just in case. He’s up at eight and Ryback is all fired up.

Ryback loads up the Shell Shock but Cena escapes and hits the AA through the table to put both guys down. Both guys get up at nine and Cena goes up, only to get caught in a Shell Shock. Cena gets up at nine and they head to the floor where Cena plows Ryback through the barricade but only for a nine. They head into the crowd where Ryback rips up what looks like a hockey board and knocks Cena senseless with it. It’s still not enough though and Cena puts on a sleeper.

After choking Ryback for a good while the monster stays down for nine. Cena puts Ryback on a conveniently placed table and dives off a balcony with a splash through said table. Ryback is again up at nine so Cena sprays him with a fire extinguisher. They head up to the stage with Cena hosing Ryback down again and again before hitting Ryback in the face with the fire extinguisher.

Ryback again gets up at eight but the AA is countered, allowing Ryback to drive Cena through a the set (as in through the electrical light grid and off camera). Both guys are out behind the set with a bunch of glass under them. The referee asks for medics and Cena is out cold as Ryback is helped to his feet. Shouldn’t that count as Cena not being up and Ryback winning? The match is thrown out at about 24:00.

Rating: B. That’s a pretty cheap (yet good looking) ending as Cena couldn’t keep Ryback down and now we’re going to get a rematch at Payback. It was certainly entertaining though, which is mostly because of how much more time it got than any other match. That’s the problem with a lot of the matches tonight: they’ve been WAY too short.

Ad for Payback in four weeks.

We recap HHH vs. Lesnar. They’ve been feuding for a year at this point, trading wins at Summerslam and Wrestlemania. Lesnar then trashed HHH’s office and tonight is the rubber match.

The cage has a new design and is higher than the usual one.

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

You can win by pin, submission or escape. HHH jumps Lesnar in the aisle and rams him into the cage before HHH’s entrance music even starts. They get inside the cage with Brock in big trouble early on. A spinebuster puts Lesnar down as JBL goes through Brock’s MMA history. Brock counters the Pedigree with a backdrop into the cage before ramming the Game’s head into the steel. HHH is thrown into the cage and Brock is already in full control.

The Game sends him into the cage but Brock just smiles and rams him right back into the steel. Brock misses a flying knee into the cage and shouts to Heyman that his knee is hurt. HHH goes up top but Brock is there to meet him. Lesnar is shoved back down though and the knee is hurt again. The facebuster puts Brock down again as HHH is calling some loud spots tonight.

Brock counters the Pedigree attempt into the Kimura but HHH goes back to the knee to escape the hold. A big clothesline puts HHH down and Brock wants the door opened, but a chop block by HHH puts him down again. Now HHH goes for the door but Heyman slams the door on his head. An F5 gets two and Brock tells Heyman to get him a chair. Lesnar hits Trips with the chair but Brock’s knee is too hurt to keep going. Another F5 attempt fails as the knee gives out.

Now HHH gets the chair and beats on Brock’s knee to send Lesnar into the corner in a heap. A quick Kimura attempt gets Lesnar nowhere and it’s Figure Four time. The ropes mean nothing (Heyman: “BREAK THE FRIGGIN HOLD!”) so Brock has to turn the hold over to escape. With HHH down, Brock tries to climb over the top but HHH gets a chair shot to the bad leg to bring him down. HHH has a big dumb grin on his face and climbs to the top where he pulls out a camouflaged sledgehammer.

Brock gets the hammer away but HHH takes him down and puts on a Sharpshooter of all things. I don’t think I’ve ever seen HHH use that. It’s clear that HHH doesn’t have a lot of experience with the hold as it’s a pretty ugly version. Heyman comes into the ring and gets caught in a Pedigree, but there’s one for Brock as well. That only gets two so HHH gets the hammer, only to have Heyman hit him low. A sledgehammer shot to the face puts the Game down but Brock doesn’t cover. Brock hits a one legged F5 for the pin at 20:10.

Rating: B. Not bad and probably their best match yet, but at the end of the day we’re celebrating the fact that HHH didn’t put himself over Brock Lesnar in a cage. The fact that we’re a year into this feud (with no guarantee that it’s over) and HHH almost beat him in what should be Brock’s signature match is a sad reality. Good match but it didn’t need to exist.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade. On one hand, it’s certainly not awful and there are some solid matches on the card. However, most of the matches felt like afterthoughts to the main events which were matches that weren’t all that interesting coming in. The main events are good examples of good matches that don’t make up for the lame buildup to them. At the end of the day, people weren’t that interested in either of the matches but the payoffs were both good. Decent enough show but it could have been WAY better.

Results

Chris Jericho b. Fandango – Codebreaker

Dean Ambrose b. Kofi Kingston – Bulldog Driver

Sheamus b. Mark Henry – Sheamus touched all four corners

Alberto Del Rio b. Jack Swagger – Cross Armbreaker

Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. HELL NO – Torture Rack/Top Rope Knee Drop Combination to Bryan

Randy Orton b. Big Show – Punt

Ryback vs. John Cena went to a no contest

Brock Lesnar b. HHH – F5

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Dang it’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these.We’ll start with the pre-show match.  There’s almost no way that Miz loses here due to one reason: Cody Rhodes doesn’t win matches.  Seriously that’s all there is to it.

Cena to retain the title, but the feud continues next month.  It’s one of Cena’s signature matches and this should be a good brawl, but Cena keeps the belt.  This feud has been built up pretty horribly as Ryback has stopped doing everything that got him over in the first place.  Yeah he’s a heel now, but we can’t have him run over people as a heel.  That might make him interesting and seem like he’s someone that is a serious threat to Cena.  Lesnar tried that last year and he got stuck in the feud with HHH.

Del Rio over Swagger as we’re not going to see a heel vs. heel title match.  The fact that we’ve seen Del Rio make Swagger tap about five times now doesn’t help either.

The cage match is probably the hardest one to pick.  On one hand, HHH winning makes sense as the hero is supposed to beat the monster in the end.  On the other hand, it’s Brock Lesnar in a cage.  I know HHH has a huge ego, but I don’t think they’re going to let him beat Lesnar in a match like this.  The ads for the show have built it up as winning by escape, which makes me think it’s like Snuka vs. Muraco back in 83: HHH gets destroyed but Lesnar does something stupid and HHH escapes.  That would make Lesnar look stupid and incompetent, so it sounds perfect.

In what sounds like the best match of the night, I’ll flip a coin and say Sheamus beats Henry, only to be destroyed post match.  These two know how to work a hard fought match together and the straps will make things better.  They’re pushing the idea of Henry being strong enough to move anything so there’s already a decent story there.  This is using the old theory of taking two big guys and having them beat on each other for ten minutes.  There’s nothing wrong with that and this should be rather entertaining.

As for Big Show vs. Orton, I’ll take Big Show in a gut instinct.  Orton can lose time after time and keep his crowd reaction, so we can have Big Show win here and set up a rematch later on.  Big Show wins here in another entertaining match.

I think Jericho gets his win back over Fandango here as there’s really nowhere else to go for the feud.  Fandango would be a good candidate to go after the US Title had it not been for Ambrose getting the shot.  Then again Fandango was at the top of his game about four weeks ago when they should have pulled the trigger, but this is WWE so instead they turned a quick mainstream fad into something corporate and killed it faster than a vampire at the beach.  Jericho wins here but Fandango can easily bounce back.

Speaking of the Shield, it’s their night and they all come out with gold here.  Ambrose is seemingly getting the rocket push and the US Title is a great place to start.  As for the tag belts, they’re so far overdue for a change that their engines are about to explode.  Shield should win all three belts, if nothing else to make those titles main event belts.  Shield vs. HELL NO in rematches could easily headline a house show.

Overall, the show looks pretty good other than the top two matches.  This card is very indicative of the problems with WWE in general at the moment: the HHH vs. Lesnar feud is dragging everything else down and Ryback isn’t helping anything either.  It also shows the problem with having gimmick matches to start a feud: there’s no need for Cena vs. Ryback to start a feud with a last man standing match.  That’s the kind of a match that ends a feud, not gets it going.  The rest of the show should be entertaining and fun though, as the talent pool is as deep as it’s been in years in today’s WWE.

Thoughts/predictions?

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 13, 2013
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole. Jerry Lawler

It’s finally the go home show for Extreme Rules and the main attraction of tonight’s show is that HHH and Lesnar will be face to face. You know, because that hasn’t happened far too often already. Other than that we have Jericho vs. Fandango in a dance off which at least should be funny. Oh and maybe Ryback vs. Cena too if we have time between all the Lesnar vs. HHH recaps and replays. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with Ryback beating down Cena with a chair.

Lawler is in the ring to host the dance off. We get clips of Fandango vs. Jericho from Wrestlemania with Fandango getting the pin. Apparently there’s a rematch on Sunday. There’s a wood floor on the mat for the guys to dance on. Fandango is dancing with Summer Rae and Jericho has a woman from Dancing with the Stars as his partner.

Lawler insists that this is NOT a popularity contest and you’re supposed to judge based on their skills only. Fandango insists he didn’t lose to Khali because the fans just didn’t know what they were talking about. Also as long as there’s a Chris Jericho, there’s a better man named Fandango.

Jericho talks about all of the contests he’s won in WWE history that didn’t involve wrestling and says he’s winning tonight. Then he’ll win on Sunday as well, and then there’s going to be a song about Jericho dancing all over Fandango’s face. Fandango and Summer go first….or rather they’re about to when Fandango says cut the music. Apparently the fans were being too loud and he can’t focus. They get started and a few seconds in Summer twists her ankle.

The pro dancer goes to look at it as does the trainer but Fandango starts to leave. As Jericho is looking at Summer, Fandango jumps Jericho and beats him down. Fandango beats him down for a good while, whipping Jericho into whatever object he can find. He picks up a piece of the wooden floor and blasts Jericho in the face with it for good measure. To the shock of no one, Summer is fine and walks off.

Tonight it’s Shield vs. Cena/HELL NO in an elimination match.

We see the end of Raw from last week again.

Ryback vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder now has long tights. As the destruction is going on, we get a commercial for the WWE App where Del Rio is having an interview right now. What also is going on right now is a Shell Shock to Ryder for the pin at 1:04. Total dominance.

We get a clip of HHH being attacked by Lesnar last year and breaking his arm. According to Cole, this was “when HHH was COO of the company.” Didn’t the sign on his office last week

say he was still COO?

Tons of Funk vs. Prime Time Players

Tensai crushes Darren to start but gets kicked in the face by Titus. Cole talks about all the countries watching the show tonight so he doesn’t have to talk about the match. Titus misses a running charge into the corner and it’s off to Brodus to clean house. As Clay knocks Darren down, Titus rolls up Brodus for the pin at 1:38. Replays show that Darren hit Brodus in the throat with his hair pick to allow the pin.

We look at the clip from Smackdown where Swagger gave Ziggler a concussion, meaning the world title match is in jeopardy.

Here’s Teddy to make the announcement about the World Title, but Colter and Swagger come out and say Swagger should be made champion. AJ and Langston come out to argue about Ziggler keeping the title, but Teddy cuts them off. Ziggler won’t be losing the title, and Swagger vs. Del Rio on Sunday is now an I Quit #1 contenders match. Also tonight it’s Langston vs. one of them, with the opponent being decided by a poll on the WWE App.

Kofi Kingston vs. Damien Sandow

Ambrose vs. Kingston for the US Title is official. Damien says he won’t be singing a song tonight because Kofi’s song is foolish. Sandow pounds away to start and hits his rapid fire knees to the chest followed by the Wind-Up Elbow for two. The announcers are of course talking about comic books. We go WAY old school with an abdominal stretch by Damien but Kofi reverses into one of his own. Kofi comes back with a dropkick and the Boom Drop, only to miss the cross body out of the corner. Sandow hits a running flip neckbreaker for two but Kofi pops up and hits Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 2:28.

Here’s Mark Henry with a strap to call out Sheamus and induct him into the Hall of Pain. We get some clips of how this match is set up, including Henry pulling the semi trucks on Smackdown. Henry tells Josh Matthews to put the strap around his wrist before shoving him down. He easily touches all four corners and lets Josh go, saying that he feels very generous.

Sheamus comes out and says Henry isn’t the brightest man in the world. He doesn’t want to get in the ring at first but Henry calls him a coward and that’s enough to get Sheamus to come out. Henry won’t let him in with the strap, but Sheamus pulls one of his own out from under the ring. Sheamus beats on Henry enough to send Henry running off.

We get a clip of Lesnar attacking Vince many months ago.

Trailer for 12 Rounds 2, starring Randy Orton.

We look at a clip of the opening segment again in case you’ve forgotten about it already.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Randy Orton

This is a rematch from Main Event where Orton won. Cesaro pounds away to start and has to be pulled off Orton in the corner. Off to a chinlock for a but but Orton comes back with a kick to the face and the powerslam. Cesaro counters the Elevated DDT into a rollup for two, only to stand up and get caught in the RKO for the pin at 3:10.

Rating: D+. Last week Cesaro talked about being the best in the company. Within the next week, he’s been pinned by Orton twice, one of those times being in three minutes and ten seconds. But hey, I’m sure this somehow makes him a bigger star right? This show is REALLY flat tonight but we are getting a lot of matches at least.

The Miz vs. Heath Slater

Feeling out process to start but Miz hits a quick sunset flip and backbreaker for two. Mahal trips up Miz and Slater gets a big boot for two. A neckbreaker gets two for Slater and it’s off to a quick chinlock. Miz comes back with a forearm and a boot to the face as we get ANOTHER commercial for the WWE App. A top rope ax handle puts Slater down but he grabs the rope to avoid the figure four. Slater goes up but gets thrown down onto the rest of his band and injures his knee in the process. Back in and the figure four ends this at 4:14.

Rating: D. I like Miz in general, but this figure four stuff is just nonsense. It doesn’t give him credibility because Flair “gave” him the move and it doesn’t make us care about him any more. He had a good finishing move and won the main event of Wrestlemania with it, but we MUST praise Flair somehow because….I have no idea why we have to pay tribute to him so often actually.

Clip of Alicia Fox and Layla at a cancer walk.

Back in February, HHH beat up Lesnar with a chair. They’re doing the whole history of the feud tonight to show us just how important it’s been.

John Cena/HELL NO vs. Shield

This is elimination rules like a Survivor Series match. The tag champions are defending the titles against Rollins and Reigns in a Texas Tornado match. Ambrose and Kane get things started with Kane pounding Dean into the corner. Bryan comes in with kicks to the chest and a painful looking arm hold. Off to Rollins vs. Cena with John putting on a front facelock as we take a break.

Back with Shield beating on Bryan in the corner as the Shield makes their traditional quick tags to pound away on him. Ambrose stomps away but the bearded one gets up and fires back, hitting a running knee to the ribs and making the tag to Kane. Kane cleans house with clotheslines all around and a sidewalk slam gets two on Ambrose. A DDT gets the same result and there’s the top rope clothesline. He loads up the chokeslam but has to shove Ambrose and Rollins to the floor. Kane follows them out and winds up getting counted out for an elimination.

We take another break and come back with Reigns pounding on Cena in the corner before it’s off to Rollins to take out Cena’s bad leg. Cena finally gets in a shot to the face and dives over for a tag off to Bryan. Daniel immediately hits a suicide dive onto Reigns and a missile dropkick on Rollins for two. Ambrose sneaks up on Bryan and the bulldog driver is enough to put Bryan out, making it 3-1 with Cena in trouble.

John charges right at Ambrose but gets caught by all three. Cena fights them off and gets down to Rollins alone in the ring. The champ initiates his finishing sequence and hits the Shuffle, only to have Ambrose break it up. Cena clears away Ambrose and Reigns before hitting the AA to eliminate Rollins. Ambrose charges into the AA but Cena spears him down, although he draws a DQ for shoving the referee. Dean covers him for two as we’re down to one on one. The STF goes on but Rollins and Reigns come in for the DQ at 23:21.

Rating: B-. I was thinking for a minute there that they were going to let Cena beat all three guys in a row but thankfully they didn’t let it happen via submission. At the end of the day though, Cena did beat the Shield via pinfall when it was 3-1 so bet on people complaining about that. Still though, good long match here which is what we needed on this Raw.

Post match the Shield hits the TripleBomb and leaves, allowing Ryback to come out and hit Cena’s leg with a chair.

Video on HHH vs. Ryback from Wrestlemania.

Swagger wins the poll by a wide margin of 65-35.

Big E. Langston vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger pounds away to start but Langston shoves him into the corner with raw power. Jack fires off some right hands and tries for the Patriot Lock, only to be kicked away as we take a break. Back with Langston hitting some backbreakers on Jack for two before Swagger fires off some shots to the ribs.

The Vader Bomb gets two but Langston pops up and runs Swagger over. A superplex puts Swagger down for two more but Jack escapes the Big Ending. Swagger hits a chop block and there’s the Patriot Lock, but Langston makes the rope. Jack is backdropped to the floor but manages to clothesline Langston over the barricade for the countout at 10:00.

Rating: D. Well that happened. Swagger likely would have beaten Ziggler here for the same result because that’s what happens in this feud. The I Quit match likely would have happened had it not been for the MITB cash in and it could be an interesting match, although I can’t picture Swagger winning.

Post match Del Rio runs out but gets put in the Patriot Lock. Ricardo tries to help him but gets kicked in the head, allowing Del Rio to put Swagger in the cross armbreaker for a tap out. Langston breaks it up for absolutely no apparent reason, but Del Rio clears the ring.

Natalya vs. AJ

Kaitlyn and the Bellas are on commentary while Horny and Khali are standing off to the side. Kaitlyn gets another gift as the match is ignored yet again. It’s a Simpsons trivia game or something like that but we have to talk about clothes as AJ is sent to the floor for a hard shot from Natalya. Another one seems to knock her out but after sending AJ back in, she locks in an octopus hold called the Black Widow for the tap out from Natalya at 3:10.

Jericho says he’ll teach Fandango to dance Jericho style on Sunday.

Time for HHH and Lesnar’s showdown, which is the real main event tonight. A cage is lowered for some extra atmosphere. HHH talks about how he’s learned to hate this but he feels at home in the cage. He wants Heyman and Lesnar out here right now, and of course what HHH wants, he gets.

Paul and Brock come out but HHH tells them to shut up. Heyman talks about how they’re not allowed to say hate on WWE programming but Heyman will do it anyway. Paul talks about how HHH is going to have to lose in the cage and face everyone after it whether he likes it or not. HHH again says bring it on but apparently Brock doesn’t fight for free.

That’s fine with HHH because he’s figured out why Lesnar won’t fight. See, HHH has done the unthinkable and beat Brock while knocking him out. I guess Extreme Rules from last year is erased from history. He talks directly to Brock and says bring it on. Lesnar walks to the ring with Heyman saying don’t do it. Lesnar slowly climbs the steps, puts one leg in the ring, and actually gets inside. As is usually the case, HHH is more than capable of fighting Lesnar one on one and sends him flying through the door while looking like it’s not a problem at all. Oh and Brock looks scared.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was ALL about HHH vs. Lesnar. Yeah a few other things got some time, but it was all revolving around the one underlying theme of HHH vs. Lesnar. This feud has been every bad thing about HHH rolled into one: the matches aren’t as good as they’re made out to be, his stories dominate everything else, and they go on WAY too long. At the end of the day, people just do not care about seeing these two fight anymore. It should have been a one off match at Summerslam with HHH going away for months and never mentioning Brock again.

Instead it’s gone on EIGHT MORE MONTHS and yeah, Lesnar will likely win on Sunday, but the loss will wind up being all about HHH and Lesnar will be none better off as a result. But hey, HHH gets to headline another show right? Lesnar could have feuded with ANYBODY else in the company and given them something out of it, but instead HHH needed to occupy a year of his time.

As for the rest of the show….it wasn’t easy. The problem on this show anymore is that WWE is so obsessed with everything they can put around their product (the App, the charity stuff, videos, unfunny commentary, celebrities etc) that they ignore the in ring action and the stories. Shield is the only interesting thing right now, as Ryback vs. Cena is feeling more and more worthless every second they’re together because Cena isn’t losing the title to him, period. This show felt way too long and it was mainly because of the HHH vs. Lesnar overkill.

Results

Ryback b. Zack Ryder – Shell Shock

Prime Time Players b. Tons of Funk – Rollup to Clay

Kofi Kingston b. Damien Sandow – Trouble in Paradise

Randy Orton b. Antonio Cesaro – RKO

John Cena/HELL NO b. Shield – Cena last eliminated Ambrose via DQ when Reigns and Rollins interfered

Jack Swagger b. Big E. Langston via countout

AJ b. Natalya – Black Widow

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