Monday Night Raw
Date: March 25, 2013
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s hard to believe that we’ve got less than two weeks before Wrestlemania. Pretty much everything is set and for the first time in weeks tonight, the WWE Champion is here to hype up the title match against Cena. Other than that we aren’t likely to get anything of note because the entire card is either set or obvious at this point. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of all of the major feuds for Wrestlemania.

Here are Punk and Heyman to open the show. Punk throws the urn in the air before setting it on the mat. He talks about Undertaker being the mystical being that Undertaker is built up as and how the urn gives Undertaker his powers. Apparently “they” say it all the time. Who are they actually? Punk says they are irrelevant and he’s the only one that matters. Last year, Undertaker hit 20-0 and the match had the perfect ending. Instead of skipping off with HHH and HBK, Undertaker came out here and pointed at Punk’s Wrestlemania sign.

The fans chant for ECW and Punk says “speaking of dead things.” Punk drops the urn because it means nothing to him, just like the Undertaker and his Streak. He’s the 1 in 20-1 and at Wrestlemania, the Streak will Rest in Peace. There go the lights and as they come back up, Undertaker is in the ring and pounding away on Punk. Heyman runs off with the urn as Punk escapes.

Fandango omes out for a match but before he can have an opponent announced, Jericho runs out and beats down Fandango with a vengeance. Fandango and his dancing chick run away and here’s Dolph Ziggler instead. Apparently this was a match for later but instead it’s happening now.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho takes him down to the match before pounding away at Ziggler’s head. A quick attempt at the Walls are countered but Dolph charges into an elbow in the corner. Jericho hits a top rope cross body for two and we take a break. Back with Jericho in a chinlock before coming back with a rollup for two. Dolph dropkicks him down for two of his own and hooks an abdominal stretch on the Canadian. Chris fights back and hits a top rope ax handle and the bulldog, but has to take out Langston with a springboard dropkick. A DDT gets two for Dolph but a Fameasser attempt is countered into the Walls for the tap at 5:53.

Rating: C+. Good stuff here with Jericho winning, although the booking continues to be stupid. Ziggler gets off a losing streak to go on a winning streak for the last few weeks, only to be jobbed out to Jericho to set up Fandango vs. Jericho. Now, Kofi loses, Ziggler loses, and Jericho is about to be beaten down by Fandango so Jericho looks weak. That’s WWE’s booking issues in a nutshell. With a roster as deep as they have, there is no reason to have Ziggler need to do this job. None.

Post match Langston hits the Big Ending on Jericho and here’s Fandango for another beating on Jericho.

We get a clip from Smackdown with Sheamus and Big Show arguing after beating 3MB, only to band together to glare at Shield. Sheamus is about to say something about that incident but Shield beats him down. Orton tries to make the save with a chair but gets beaten down as well. Big Show makes the real save.

Mark Henry vs. Usos

I believe that’s Jey starting things off but does it really matter? Henry throws him around but the Usos both hit superkicks to actually put him down. The Superfly Splash from Jimmy gets two but Henry sends Jey FLYING off the apron and into the barricade. A big clothesline on Jimmy and the World’s Strongest Slam ends Jimmy at 1:45.

Post match Jey gets a Slam of his own. Both guys are splashed too.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Alberto Del Rio

Ricardo is here on crutches and his ankle is in a cast. Feeling out process to start with Cesaro taking over via a European uppercut. Off to a cravate but Del Rio comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He loads up the low superkick but here’s Zeb Colter for a distraction. Cesaro gets in some shots but as Del Rio loads up a superplex, Swagger comes out and attacks Ricardo again. Del Rio chases after Swagger and beats him up in the crowd for the countout at 3:20. I’m not going to bother rating this as a good deal of the match was spent on the outside interference stuff.

Post match Del Rio beats up Cesaro despite the loss being his own fault.

HELL NO vs. Prime Time Players

Titus and Kane start with the masked man taking over almost immediately. Off to Bryan for some kicks in the corner and it’s back to Kane for more punishment of the Players. Here are Ziggler and Langston to distract Bryan and let the Players take over. Titus suplexes Darren onto Bryan for two and it’s off to a body vice by Young. Bryan fights up and brings in Kane for the side slam on Darren. Bryan takes out Titus with the running knee to the floor and the chokeslam ends Young at 4:37.

Rating: D+. Just a glorified squash here which didn’t do anything of note for anyone. It’s not like Langston and Ziggler did anything here other than make the match last a bit longer, so why should I want to see these teams fight now? Does anyone remember why they’re fighting in the first place? By the way that’s rhetorical. Don’t leave me comments explaining what started this because I remember it. My point is it wasn’t significant or memorable and WWE doesn’t ever remind it to us because they expect everyone to remember every single thing EVER.

Another example of this would be Lawler talking about washrags when Titus was in there. If you don’t remember that, you’re not alone. That was mentioned ONCE in a match back like last year, but Lawler brings it up whenever Titus is in there. If you didn’t see that ONE probably five minute tag match, you likely don’t get the joke. I barely remember it because it was a stupid discussion from that many months ago, but WWE brings it up like it went on for months and everyone knows it. That’s really stupid and annoying when they do it with such stupid stuff like that.

We recap HHH and Lesnar’s contract signing from last week.

Here’s HHH to talk about the match with Lesnar some more. If he loses at Wrestlemania it’s the end of his career. The thing is if you go to the ring thinking you’re going to lose, you’re already done because Lesnar is a destroyer. HHH has fought like his life and career depended on it every night for twenty years so these stipulations aren’t some coup for Heyman. It’s Lesnar that needs to fight like his career is on the line because that’s what he has to do. HHH isn’t coming to wrestle and he isn’t coming to fight. He’s coming to hurt Brock.

As HHH leaves, Wade Barrett interrupts him and stares HHH down. HHH kicks him low and keeps walking.

Wade Barrett vs. The Miz

Barrett is in agony here so Miz hits a quick atomic drop to mess with Barrett even more. The Figure Four is escaped as the champion (non-title here) bails to the floor. Back in and Miz hits a few more atomic drops but can’t hook the Skull Crushing Finale. Barrett pounds away as the announcers talk about movies. Off to a chinlock by the champion but Miz fights up and backdrops Wade out to the floor. An ax handle off the apron puts Wade down again and we take a break.

Back with Barrett pounding away at Miz in the ropes and kicking him out to the floor. Back in and Miz avoids a charge before firing off some left hands. The corner clothesline sets up the top rope ax handle for two but Barrett rolls out of the Finale. The Winds of Change get two for Barrett but Wasteland is countered. Miz dropkicks the knee out but the Figure Four is countered again. Barrett gets a rollup for two and a low kick to the head for the same. The Bull Hammer misses and Barrett crotches himself on the top rope after missing a big boot. Figure Four gets the tap out at 12:08.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad and that’s a Wrestlemania match for you. No one cares about Barrett or the title, but it’s nice to see the match getting a spot on the biggest show of the year again. The Figure Four still doesn’t work for Miz, and I really didn’t need a match with the main focus being Barrett’s crotch, but the match wasn’t bad.

Bryan and Kane have a mini-argument about Kane’s mental stability before getting into a full argument about AJ. Kaitlyn pops up to say chill because she was the one screwed over by AJ. AJ is behind them as they argue. Kailtyn says AJ is a nutjob and AJ blasts her.

Shield vs. Great Khali/Zack Ryder/Justin Gabriel

Khali chops at Rollins to start but once Ryder comes in things fall apart. A middle rope dropkick misses Ambrose and the Shield takes over. Off to Gabriel vs. Reigns with Justin trying to speed things up. Ambrose gets a blind tag and clotheslines Gabriel’s head off. Dean puts on a surfboard hold as Rollins hits a top rope knee drop for the pin on Gabriel at 2:30.

Post match Khali tries to fight off the Shield but gets caught in the TripleBomb. Cue Sheamus, Orton and Big Show for the big brawl.

We recap Jericho and Fandango from earlier. Jericho is MAD and says he’s like a target now because of what he’s done over the years. He’s sporting a black eye here and apparently it’s Jericho vs. Fandango at Wrestlemania.

Brodus Clay/Tensai vs. Rhodes Scholars

Brodus and Sandow start things off but it’s quickly off to Tensai for some double teaming. Tensai misses a splash though and it’s off to Rhodes for an armbar. The not hot tag brings in Brodus who does his usual stuff like the throw and splash on Cody. The Bellas and Funkadactyls get in a brawl on the floor, allowing Rhodes to hit the Disaster Kick for the pin on Clay at 2:30.

Another video on G.I. Joe 2.

3MB vs. Ryback

Handicap match here with Slater starting for the band. A quick Thesz Press puts Heath down and there’s a splash for no cover. Off to Drew who is rammed into the corner for some hard shoulder blocks. After cleaning out the ring, Ryback is caught by a big boot from McIntyre to take over. Slater puts on a front facelock but Ryback easily throws him off. After the token beating from 3MB, Ryback fights back and throws Slater around a big. The double Shell Shock to Mahal and Slater are enough to pin Heath at 4:04.

Rating: D+. What do you expect here? Ryback did this for like a year and no one is surprised that he can do it again here, other than Cole and Lawler of course. Nothing to see here for the most part, but Ryback and Henry one upping each other with the destruction isn’t a bad idea.

Ryback and Henry have a weightlifting competition on Friday.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is inducting Sammartino into the Hall of Fame.

AJ Lee vs. Kaitlyn

Non-title here. Kaitlyn erupts on AJ to start and pounds her down, only to be slapped down by AJ. Kaitlyn will have none of that and hits a fireman’s carry gutbuster to send AJ to the outside. The spear misses AJ and hits the barricade, drawing a countout at 2:02.

We run down the Wrestlemania card.

It’s time for the final segment of the show: a Q&A panel with legends asking questions to Rock and Cena. Lawler is moderating and the panel is Booker T, Mick Foley, Dusty Rhodes and Bret Hart. Ric Flair was supposed to be part of this panel but health issues kept him out of the segment. Rock barely gets a reaction as this crowd is exhausted.

Foley gets to ask the first question and talks about losing the fall at Wrestlemania XX which was supposed to be Rock’s last match. He says that it was a relief that Cena lost the match because it wasn’t Rock’s Wrestlemania swan song. Foley’s question is to Cena: can he handle losing to Rock again? Cena says that he wins everything at once if he wins but losing is definitely an option as it was last year.

He brings up former Eagles’ quarterback Donovan McNabb who was famous for getting deep into the playoffs but never winning a Super Bowl. The fans don’t like McNabb because it’s all about winning the big one. Cena is great but he needs that big win. Rock however can’t live with failure.

The champion responds by telling a familiar story about getting his mattress out of a dumpster. Then six months later he got his shot in the WWE but blew out his knee six months later. Then he worked even harder and came back, asking for a mic. Then Rock became the youngest WWE Champion ever and headlined Wrestlemania 15, right here in this very city. Cue FINALLY of course. Rock came into Philly with a Pat’s cheese steak in one hand and the WWE Title in the other….and Steve Austin beat him for the title. Rock came back as the hardest working man ever and the man that is beating Cena in thirteen days.

Bret (now with gray hair) says that both Rock and Cena are his friends but he didn’t like it last year when this became too close to Bret vs. Shawn. What changed? Rock says that it was two guys going at it for over 30 minutes and after Rock won, Cena took it like a man. Cena talks about calling Rock out years ago in an interview and then Rock proved it. After last year, Cena thought Rock was walking out but then Rock said he wanted to be WWE Champion and did just that.

Booker asks why Cena thinks he can win and John says it’s because he has to. Rock isn’t impressed and wants to know why Cena thinks that. Cena goes off by saying that Rock can’t beat him. Cena beat himself last year by making one bad decision. Every single week for ten years, Cena has come out to a mixed reaction but he’s walked through it. Only Rock has been able to get inside Cena’s head and after Cena survived everything Rock threw at him, Cena tried something stupid by trying the People’s Elbow and beat himself. John knows he’s better than Rock and says Rock knows it too.

Rock says he knows if Cena knew he had Rock beat, he would have beaten him. Cena threw everything he had at Rock and Rock kept kicking out. Rock talks about growing up idolizing Ric Flair who said to be the man you have to beat the man. Cena can’t beat the man, because he isn’t the man. John will never, and the Rock means never, beat the Rock.

Dusty likes them taking the gloves off and asks both guys what they want on April 7 (third time they’ve said the date of the show because the top guys know how to sell a show). Cena wants to win the big one and dominate the Rock. He’s going to prove that he’s better when Rock is looking up at the sky. Rock says he won’t be haunted by Cena and wants to fight right now. Cena says you can’t see me and gets shoved. AA is countered into a Rock Bottom and Rock stares at Cena to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The show wasn’t awful but say it with me: it dragged because it ran for three hours. It’s not terrible or anything but there’s nothing of note here until the ending which was more like what the world title feud was needing. The problem with the build at this point is that nothing is really exciting for whatever reason it may have. Cena vs. Rock will draw, but it would be nice to see the company actually try instead of just going on reputation alone.

Results

Chris Jericho b. Dolph Ziggler – Walls of Jericho

Mark Henry b. Usos – World’s Strongest Slam to Jimmy Uso

Antonio Cesaro b. Alberto Del Rio via countout

HELL NO b. Prime Time Players – Chokeslam to Young

Shield b. Great Khali/Justin Gabriel/Zack Ryder – Top rope knee drop to Gabriel

Rhodes Scholars b. Tensai/Brodus Clay – Disaster Kick to Clay

Ryback b. 3MB – Shell Shock to Slater

AJ Lee b. Kaitlyn via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: March 22, 2013
Location: U.S. Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

With Wrestlemania coming up very soon we’ve got almost everything set, meaning that the next few weeks will be spent building up everything else that we’ve already established. The main event tonight is Swagger vs. Jericho in a rematch from last week where Swagger beat Jericho through the help of some shenanigans. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap is from Raw with Swagger breaking Ricardo’s ankle as well as Big Show joining Orton and Sheamus to face the Shield.

We open with MizTV with guests Sheamus and Randy Orton. Orton wants Big Show to replace Ryback in the six man tag at Wrestlemania but Sheamus isn’t sure. Neither guy trusts him, but sometimes you have to do something you aren’t sure of in order to survive. At Wrestlemania, Orton wants a ticked off giant on their side. Here’s Big Show to give us his take on this.

Miz talks about being Show’s partner back in the day and Big Show ending the team by knocking him out. Big Show: “I’ve dated women bigger than you so shut your lip.” Show talks about knocking out a member of the Shield and how they can work together to stop the Shield once and for all. Sheamus talks about his past with Big Show and a showdown is teased but Orton plays peacemaker. Miz: “REALLY? Randy Orton is the voice of reason of this group???” Before Show and Sheamus start arguing even more, here’s Booker T to interrupt. Tonight the three of them will be in a six man tag against opponents to be named.

Mark Henry vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder is shoved in the corner but comes back with a few right hands. Like an idiot though he tries a cross body and gets caught in the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 52 seconds.

Ryder gets two more slams as Henry shouts at him about how many can he take. Ryback finally comes out for the big staredown as Ryder is carried out like a pancake. Henry charges but is taken down by the Meat Hook to send Henry into a state of confusion on the floor.

Teddy looks for Booker’s approval for teaming up with Vickie to make Henry vs. Ryback. Booker isn’t pleased because Teddy should have consulted with his boss, as in Booker. Teddy doesn’t like the idea that he works for Booker, because he works with him.

We get the Booker Hall of Fame video.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Well to be fair it’s been four whole days since we saw this match. AJ sits in on commentary. A quick neckbreaker puts Kofi down as JBL hits on AJ. Kofi comes back with his jumping clotheslines and the Boom Drop for no cover. Langston distracts Kingston from trying Trouble in Paradise though, allowing Dolph to hit a dropkick as we take a break.

Back with Kofi sliding through the ropes and kicking Dolph in the face. As Kingston goes up though, Ziggler crotches him down as AJ complains about being in a match with Dolph and her two exes. Kofi comes back with some right hands but another dropkick gets two. Ziggler hooks a chinlock for a bit but Kofi fights up and sends him shoulder first into the post. The middle rope cross body gets two for Kofi but a springboard splash hits knees, giving Ziggler a two count.

Trouble in Paradise misses and there’s the sleeper to Kingston. Kofi escapes again and gets two off the SOS as AJ sings Dolph’s praises. Dolph falls to the floor but Langston guards him from a suicide dive. Kofi dives on Big E. instead but the distraction lets Ziggler hit the Fameasser on the floor. AJ: “I’m going to have that man’s babies. And they’re going to have great hair and the abs of a Greek god.” Back inside the Zig Zag finishes Kofi at 6:31 shown of 10:01.

Rating: C. Not their best match here but it’s nice to see Ziggler get back on top even a little bit. Kofi will bounce back from this as he’s always lost a lot over his career. It’s rumored that he might be turning heel, which could be interesting given how serious he’s been in the past. The match here wasn’t great but these two are incapable of having an actual bad match against each other.

Langston hits the Big Ending on Kofi post match.

We recap Fandango and Jericho’s interaction from Raw.

We get the CM Punk promo about Undertaker from Raw.

Orton again has to tell Sheamus and Big Show to stop fighting.

We look at Ricardo having his ankle broken again.

Jack Swagger vs. Chris Jericho

After a break, Colter talks about Ricardo’s injury from Raw and how that should be a warning to anyone who disagrees with what they say. This would include Jericho who interrupts Swagger as he repeats his catchphrase. Feeling out process to start with Jericho knocking Swagger out to the floor. Colter calms down an angry Swagger but Jericho comes to the floor and rams Jack’s back into the barricade. Back in and Swagger takes out Chris’ leg to take over for the first time.

Jericho comes back with a kick to the chest for two but the Codebreaker is countered as Jericho is rammed into the corner. Swagger loads up a superplex, only to be shoved off the top and hit with a cross body for two. With Jack rolling to the floor, Jericho hits a sweet plancha to take Swagger out as we take a break.

Back with Swagger hitting a clothesline for two and pounding on the back for good measure. Jericho is sent shoulder first into the buckle but Swagger misses a charge, allowing Jericho to speed it up a little. A top rope fist to Swaggers face puts him down and Jericho pounds away in the corner as the fans chant his name. Jericho’s hurricanrana is countered into the Patriot Lock but Jericho sends Swagger out to the floor.

There’s the springboard dropkick to send Jack to the floor….and here’s Fandango with his full entrance. The distraction allows Swagger to hit a powerslam for two. A side roll gets the same for Jericho but when he can’t hook the Walls he instead catapults Swagger into the ropes. Jericho loads up the Lionsault but Fandango trips him up, allowing Swagger to hit the Vader Bomb for the pin at 9:04 shown of 12:34.

Rating: C. This wasn’t as good as last week’s and again I don’t like the idea of a guy who might be world champion in three weeks needing Fandango’s help to beat someone. This sets up Jericho vs. Fandango at Wrestlemania for reasons that I don’t comprehend. That’s quite a way to push someone new though.

Post match Fandango beats up Jericho and shouts WHAT IS MY NAME. A guillotine legdrop leaves Jericho laying so Fandango pronounces his name again for good measure.

Big Show says his partners can trust him. Trust him, that’s true.

We get the Rock vs. Cena video from Raw.

Here are the Rhodes Scholars along with the Bellas. The guys say the girls are beautiful and that’s about it.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Brodus Clay/Tensai

Tensai is in a coonskin cap for no apparent reason. Rhodes and Tensai start things off before it’s quickly off to Brodus who runs over every Scholar in sight. The girls get in a fight on the floor and the match is thrown out at 1:10.

Sheamus says Big Show can trust himself and Orton.

The Miz vs. Antonio Cesaro

Barrett is on commentary and this is non-title. A quick rollup gets two for Miz but he charges into a knee to the face. Cesaro kicks him in the back and face for two each. The gutwrench suplex gets another near fall and it’s off to the cravate. Miz fires back with a knee lift and a big boot, followed by the running corner clothesline and the top rope ax handle.

The Figure Four is countered once but after a chop block Miz takes out the knee and gets the submission in 2:13. Yes, the United States Champion just tapped out 100% clean in less than two and a half minutes in a match to set up an Intercontinental match. Let that sink in for a minute.

Post match Miz calls out Barrett and says he’s only champion for now.

We recap the contract signing and announcement of the stipulations for Lesnar vs. HHH from Raw.

Randy Orton/Sheamus/Big Show vs. 3MB

Yes, all night long the super team has been worried about not being able to work together against 3MB, the team that I believe at least two of them have individually beaten before. Orton and Mahal get things going with Randy pounding away in the corner. Off to Sheamus as apparently Big Show isn’t official yet. Mahal gets in some right hands but Sheamus easily pounds him down and hits the Regal Roll.

Off to Big Show vs. McIntyre with Show hitting ten chops on the ropes ala Sheamus’ forearms. Back to Mahal and then Slater with both guys being tossed into the ring. With Slater laid out on the mat it’s back to Orton for the powerslam but Slater breaks up the Elevated DDT. Slater gets in a cheap shot and stomps away before it’s off to McIntyre for a neckbreaker. Back to Heath who goes up, only to jump into a dropkick by Randy. The tag brings in Show who cleans house and knocks out McIntyre, only to have Sheamus tag himself in and Brogue Kick Mahal for the pin at 5:53.

Rating: D. Again, we’ve seen at least Sheamus beat all three of these guys on his own, so what exactly was this supposed to prove? It’s like saying you need to be able to work together to crush a group of ants. I get the idea of working together but they didn’t even need to. Did we really need to sit through two hours to get to this?

Sheamus and Big Show are about to fight again but here’s Shield. Before they get here though Sheamus and Big Show get in a fight and shove Orton away. Actually never mind as they stop fighting once Shield is at ringside. Scratch that again as Shield is already bailing without ever getting in the ring to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. What in the world did I just wasted two hours on? The world champion isn’t here and we’re 16 days until Wrestlemania? Alberto is so angry about what happened on Monday that he let Swagger get by for free here. We can’t even get an interview from him? Seriously? On top of that we have the United States Champion playing a role that Heath Slater could have played just as well. This show was a waste of time and thank goodness I didn’t waste my time to go and see it. Terrible show.

Results

Mark Henry b. Zack Ryder – World’s Strongest Slam

Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Zig Zag

Jack Swagger b. Chris Jericho – Vader Bomb

Brodus Clay/Tensai vs. Rhodes Scholars went to a no contest

The Miz b. Antonio Cesaro – Figure Four Leg Lock

Big Show/Randy Orton/Sheamus b. 3MB – Brogue Kick to Mahal

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 18, 2013
Location: CONSOL Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re another week closer to Wrestlemania and the main story tonight is that HHH is going to answer Brock Lesnar’s challenge for Wrestlemania and we’ll likely hear the stipulations that Lesnar has picked for the match. We’ll also likely get some changes to the six man tag that was set up on Smackdown due to Mark Henry attacking Ryback on Friday. Let’s get to it.

We open with the usual recap of last week’s events.

Here’s Cena in a bright yellow shirt that makes him look like a bowl of corn. The fans are mixed on booing and cheering of course so Cena says that they have 20 days to pick a side. He has a message for Rock tonight though: his time is up and Cena’s time is now. Since the beginning of this year Cena has been on a roll and he isn’t going to let himself be overconfident going into Wrestlemania. Cena is interrupted by…..the Primetime Players.

Titus however is in coveralls and a big afro wig, calling himself Rufus “Pancake” Patterson and claiming to be Titus’ uncle. Cena says that Pittsburgh has some great doctors that can fix Titus’ multiple personalities. The Players do the Millions of Dollars dance with “Rufus” hurting his back because his gout is flaring up. Cena says he might see them at Wrestlemania but Titus says the fans don’t want to see him at Wrestlemania. Apparently Rufus is Darren’s uncle, not Titus’. He says that Darren should be on the Cocoa Pebbles box and is going to beat Cena up to prove it. Cena says ok and the match is on.

Darren Young vs. John Cena

Cena bulldogs Young down and tries the STF but Darren bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cena hitting his shoulder blocks and the ProtoBomb to set up the Shuffle and the AA for the pin at 4:16, about 3:30 of which was spent in a commercial.

Undertaker is here tonight.

We recap Mark Henry allowing Ryback to be attacked by Shield and then laying him out with World’s Strongest Slams.

Ryback vs. David Otunga

Otunga is powered into the corner to start and there’s a spinning powerslam for good measure. A spinebuster puts Otunga down and there’s the Meat Hook. Otunga is Shell Shocked for the pin at 1:37.

Post match Ryback says Orton, Sheamus and himself will be taking out the Shield at Wrestlemania. Here’s Mark Henry though, only to have Teddy Long and Vickie Guerrero to stop him. Vickie takes Ryback out of the six man and puts him in a match against Henry at Wrestlemania instead. Ryback responds by picking Otunga up for the Shell Shock and saying this is Henry. Apparently the match is accepted.

Fandango debuts tonight. I’m sure.

Fandango vs. Great Khali

Fandango has a big arch of banners to walk through now and actually makes it to the ring. He also has an outline of his silhouette make of what looks like birthday candles. Ok he had a cool entrance. This is a result of Khali not being able to pronounce Fandango’s name on Smackdown. Before the match, Fandango calls Khali Stretch and says Khali is to stupid to pronounce Fandango correctly. Instead Natalya will get to try, after Fandango hits on her a bit. Natalya seems impressed by the dancer but pronounces the name as “Fan-DANG-Go-get-him-Khali”. Fandango runs away and there’ still no match.

R-Truth vs. Damien Sandow

Truth is returning from an injury here. Sandow quotes Thoreau who once said he wanted truth. Apparently the R here stands for repugnant. Truth says “Your beard is weird, and you talk a lot. I got four sweet words for you: you gonna get got.” Apparently Sandow is a Kentucky Colonel (a title given to people who do good work for Kentucky). Ok then. Truth gets two off a sunset flip but Sandow stomps Truth down and tells us we’re welcome.

Off to a chinlock by Damien as Cole and Lawler get into a bizarre political tangent after saying Sandow’s family advises President Obama. Sandow hits the Wind-Up Elbow as Cole says Latin has been en vogue this week because of a new Pope. Truth comes back with a flying headscissors and a kick to the chin for two. Lawler actually makes a Manti Te’o joke because WWE’s writers are that far behind the times. Truth hits his ax kick and Sandow walks out for the countout at 3:41.

Rating: D. The match itself was nothing of note but I’m hardly a fan of R-Truth. The interesting part of this match though was the commentary, which was BIZARRE. We had jokes that were topical six weeks ago, references to Latin being en vogue, and discussion of honorary titles in Kentucky. It didn’t help the match though.

We recap Punk stealing Undertaker’s urn last week during the tribute to Paul Bearer.

Here’s Undertaker to say that Punk has one chance to save his soul and that’s if he gives the urn back right now. Punk pops up on screen and pretends to be the urn talking in Bearer’s voice. Punk says Bearer’s loss was a professional and personal one as well. Apparently Bearer’s spirit is in the urn. Punk implies he’ll get Undertaker disqualified or counted out to break the Streak.

Punk is juggling the urn as he talks about Undertaker answering to a higher power, but Punk doesn’t do so because he IS the higher power. He talks about being able to break the Streak because he can handle the pressure. Punk looks at the urn and says he’s the one that ends the Streak. He’s the one in 21 and he drops the urn. No disrespect intended by Punk of course. This felt like it ended abruptly.

HELL NO vs. Primo/Epico

Non-title as always. Kane pounds on Epico to start and he’s ticked off here. Off to Bryan with Epico on the floor but Primo jumps Daniel to take over. A SWEET spinning sunset flip off the top takes Bryan down but he rolls through and kicks Primo in the face for two. Off to Epico who is caught in an armbar almost immediately. Primo distracts Bryan to let Epico take over again. The cousins take turns on Bryan in the corner with Epico getting two off a slingshot hilo.

Off to a bow and arrow hold by Epico before Primo takes over with a shot to Bryan’s back and a chinlock. Bryan sends Primo down to the match by rolling through and it’s off to Kane to clean house. A side slam puts Primo down and there’s the top rope clothesline to put Primo down. Kane loads up the chokeslam but here’s AJ to skip around the ring. Primo tries a rollup but can only get two. Bryan dropkicks Primo and the chokeslam ends Epico at 6:08.

Rating: D+. This just kept going and going and felt like it would never end. I get where they’re going with AJ being out there but it would help if she actually, you know, did something here instead of just delaying this match even further. Nothing to see here for the most part and the match didn’t do anything for anyone.

Jericho is in the back talking about how he’s going to win the title tonight when Fandango comes up to say his name over and over again. Jericho pronounces it as Fandumbo and Fanjango and a few other things like Fan-Wango-Tango and Fan-B-I-N-G-O-and Bingo was his name-o-O. Fandango says Jericho will learn to pronounce the name properly. Jericho says he wants his movie tickets before Fandango leaves.

We hear about Alicia Fox and Natalya going to Rwanda on a charity/goodwill trip regarding malaria nets.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Cody Rhodes

Del Rio has a remixed entrance theme now. We get a clip of Del Rio’s left knee being hit by Swagger on Main Event. That would of course explain why his right knee is bandaged. A quick rollup gets two for Del Rio but Cody takes him down into a headscissors on the mat. Back up and Del Rio misses a charge into the post, messing up his shoulder. By WWE logic, I guess that means he’ll be holding his nose now. Del Rio comes back with a snapmare and a kick to Cody’s leg to send him to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Cody stomping away in the corner but getting slammed down a few seconds later. Del Rio tries his middle rope moonsault but tweaks the knee on the way down. Cody works on the left leg now to make it a matched set before going for a superplex, only to have the champion counter into a front suplex off the top for two. Del Rio fires off some clotheslines and the low superkick for two. Cody pops up and hits a moonsault press for two as a USA chant breaks out. Del Rio fires off some shots the back and gets two off a backstabber. The cross armbreaker ends this at 12:39.

Rating: C. The match was a nice little affair with Cody getting to show off the insane potential he had about a year and a half ago before being sent down into tag team limbo for the last eighteen months. The match was nothing great but it was good enough to do what it was supposed to: make Del Rio look good.

Post match here’s Jack Swagger to beat on Del Rio but Alberto sends him into the barricade. Alberto goes after Colter but Swagger comes back and sends Del Rio into the steps and over the announce table. Swagger beats up Ricardo and puts him in the Patriot Lock for good measure. Ricardo screams a lot so maybe his ankle was broken.

Booker T is announced for the Hall of Fame.

Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. 3MB

Apparently Ricardo does have a broken ankle. It’s McIntyre and Slater here with Drew pounding away on Sheamus to start before it’s quickly off to Orton for some right hands. There are the ten forearms to the chest by Sheamus for two but a Mahal distraction lets Drew clothesline Sheamus down to take over. Sheamus comes back a few seconds later with an ax handle before it’s back to Orton. There are the powerslam and the Elevated DDT to Slater. A Brogue Kick puts McIntyre down and it’s the RKO to Slater for the pin at 3:43.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here which did what it was supposed to do: give Sheamus and Orton a reason to be out there for the post match invasion by Shield. Seriously, that’s it. That’s why this match is happening. There’s nothing else to say about it but I’m going to keep typing to fill in more space in this area as Shield is surrounding the ring.

Shield comes out but so does Big Show to even the odds, sending the justice guys running away. Big Show points at the sign and I believe we’ve got a six man tag.

We get a trailer for G.I. Joe II.

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

During the entrances we see Ziggler and Langston beating up HELL NO on Smackdown. Kofi starts with a quick armbar and some nice armdrags into another armbar. Back up and Kofi does his double leapfrogs into the back elbow for two. Dolph dropkicks Kingston down for two before hooking his headstand chinlock.

Kingston escapes and fires off some dropkicks of his own before hitting a spinning springboard frog splash for two. Trouble in Paradise is caught in a reverse slam but Kingston escapes and goes to the apron. Kingston runs the apron and dives at Dolph but gets knocked out of the air by Langston. Back in the ring the Zig Zag ends Kofi at 4:38.

Rating: C-. This was the short version of Dolph vs. Kofi who can do this match in their sleep by this point. Again, this was there to set up the post match stuff which is a rather old school mentality to booking. It doesn’t mean it’s terrible, but it’s always tedious to me to sit through a match just to get to the stuff that actually matters.

Post match here’s HELL NO to challenge Langston and Ziggler for a match at Wrestlemania. AJ accepts for her guys if the titles are on the line. Bryan is cool with that and it’s YES chant time.

We recap the Punk/Taker stuff from earlier.

Long video on Rock vs. Cena II which is about redemption vs. greatness again.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Wade Barrett vs. Chris Jericho

Barrett is challenging here and goes after Jericho to start. Make that Miz actually but Jericho jumps Barrett and gets two off a clothesline. Miz is knocked to the floor and is quickly followed by Barrett, allowing the Canadian to dive on both of them. The fans chant for Jericho as he hits a dropkick for two on Wade back inside.

Miz pulls Jericho to the floor and gets two off a sunset flip on Barrett. The running corner clothesline staggers Wade again but he comes back by putting Miz on the top rope and hitting a knee to the ribs. The champion loads up a superplex but Jericho comes in to make it a Tower of Doom to put all three guys down as we take a break. Back with Barrett hitting a knee to Jericho’s ribs for two as Miz is down on the floor.

The champion puts on a chinlock for a few seconds before Jericho fights up and gets two off a top rope cross body. Miz breaks up the Lionsault though and hits his top rope ax handle to stagger Wade but he walks into the Winds of Change for two. Wasteland is escaped and Miz takes out Barrett’s leg. There’s the Figure Four but Jericho hits the Lionsault on Miz for a close two.

Barrett is put in the Walls but Miz comes back in, only to not be able to hook the Finale. Both guys backdrops Barrett to the floor and Jericho gets a VERY close two on Miz with a rollup. The Codebreaker puts Miz down but Chris can’t cover. Instead Barrett comes in and shoves Jericho out before covering Miz for two more. Jericho throws Barrett into the barricade and gets two on Miz. A quick DDT gets another near fall for Miz as does a big boot after Miz throws a charging Barrett back to the floor. Jericho grabs a fast rollup for two but jumps into the Finale, only to have Wade roll up Miz for the pin to retain at 12:20.

Rating: B-. This started slow but the stuff after the commercial was WAY better with a bunch of close near falls and false finishes. It doesn’t do anything for the title because we might get a quick match at Mania for it but then after that it sinks back into the nothingness that it’s been in for years.

We look at the premiere party for The Call.

Since this show isn’t long enough already, here are Touts from the fans about what fans think the stipulations for Lesnar vs. HHH should be.

Here’s HHH to sign the contract with Lesnar. Before anything happens, here’s Heyman with security around him. HHH is surprised Lesnar isn’t here, but Heyman loves the idea of backing HHH into a corner. HHH can either sign the contract stips unknown or disappoint all the fans. Heyman thinks this frustrates HHH so HHH makes fun of Heyman’s security. Lesnar has already signed the contract and HHH is ready to sign, but Heyman says not so fast.

First we need to see Vince getting attacked by Lesnar a few weeks back. Heyman then suggests HHH is blindfolded, but that’s not good enough. Then he and Lesnar thought of HHH having his hands and ankles shackled, but that would give HHH too many excuses. Apparently Heyman got to pick the stipulations and suggested that the winner gets Stephanie. Oh wait how about the loser gets Stephanie?

That does it and HHH destroys him but has to beat up security as well. HHH puts Heyman on the table and rips his shirt open to slap his chest while Heyman screams for Brock. HHH slaps Heyman a few more times and chokes him until HHH signs the contract. Heyman is sent to the floor and has a chair thrown at him as HHH says go get the monster.

Cue Lesnar with a chair. Shouldn’t he have been here like three minutes ago when Heyman was getting destroyed? HHH pulls a sledgehammer out from under the table so Heyman holds Lesnar back, saying Brock won this round. The stipulation is…..no holds barred. Well that’s kind of a letdown. Oh wait it’s no holds barred with HHH’s career on the line. That’s still a letdown.

Overall Rating: C+. This show didn’t fall off a cliff like last week’s did, but that’s because it never climbed any mountain in the first place. While the ending segment was solid, this show was just mediocre for the most part and I honestly barely remember most of it. That’s the problem for most of this Wrestlemania build: it’s just kind of there. The show will be good I’m sure, but the show feels like a throwaway edition and nothing more. Nothing to see here although the triple threat was pretty good.

Results

John Cena b. Darren Young – Attitude Adjustment

Ryback b. David Otunga – Shell Shock

R-Truth b. Damien Sandow via countout

HELL NO b. Primo/Epico – Chokeslam to Epico

Alberto Del Rio b. Cody Rhodes – Cross Armbreaker

Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Zig Zag

Wade Barrett b. The Miz and Chris Jericho – Rollup to Miz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Tonight on Raw, we saw a clip of Swagger attacking Del Rio’s left knee.  Then for Del Rio’s matchhis right knee was taped, because WWE can’t remember left and right.

Smackdown
Date: March 15, 2013
Location: Allen County War Memorial Coliseum, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Brad Maddox

Back to Smackdown as we continue getting ready for Wrestlemania. Counting this episode we have four episodes to go before the big show and a lot of the card is already set. The main thing we still need to do is officially announce the likely six man tag between Shield and Orton/Sheamus/Big Show. We have a main event tonight of Ryback vs. Mark Henry, which I have a feeling won’t happen. Let’s get to it.

Sheamus/Randy Orton vs. Rhodes Scholars

Before the match we get a clip of Shield attacking Orton and Sheamus on Sunday. We also hear from Sandow who complains about how bad things went on Monday, but tonight the Scholars are going to ruin Orton and Sheamus’ night. Rhodes and Sheamus start things off and after Cody can’t get anything going he makes the tag off to Sandow. Damien stomps Sheamus down in the corner but Sheamus comes back with the knee lift and some running forearms.

Sheamus hits the ten forearms to the chest of Sandow before they head to the floor, allowing Rhodes to hit the Disaster Kick off the apron to take Sheamus out. After a break we come back with Cody dropkicking Sheamus down for two. Back to Sandow who pounds away on the pale one, only to have Sheamus headbutt him from the mat to escape. A front facelock keeps Sheamus in control but he punches his way out.

Sheamus is sent into the corner but the referee stops Sandow for a lecture. Damien charges into an elbow in the corner followed by the top rope shoulder from Sheamus to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in Orton to powerslam Rhodes. A t-bone suplex puts Cody down again as does the Elevated DDT. It’s a Brogue Kick for Sandow and the RKO to Cody for the pin at 5:57 shown of 9:27. Cole: “HASHTAG CELTIC VIPERS!” It’s time to push Twitter again apparently.

Rating: C. Basic tag match here to establish the super team as a threat. Granted I’m not sure how much of a threat you can prove yourselves to be when you beat a team that loses every time they team up. Again, what was the point in splitting them up if you’re just going to put them back together to job them out all the time?

Post match here’s the Shield…on the screen. They say Sheamus and Orton should be afraid, but not tonight. Ambrose lists off all the people they’ve taken apart and left laying in the ring like roadkill. Rollins wants to know why Shield doesn’t have a match at Wrestlemania because that’s the biggest injustice of all. Ambrose tells Sheamus and Orton to find a partner for a six man tag. Orton and Sheamus say they’re in.

Fandango debuts tonight. Again.

We recap Lesnar’s beatdown of the Outlaws from Raw as well as Heyman accepting Lesnar’s challenge for Wrestlemania.

Sheamus and Orton talk about making the right choice when Big Show comes up. He offers his services even though he doesn’t trust either guy. Instead though, Sheamus and Orton have apparently picked Ryback.

Kaitlyn/Layla vs. Tamina Snuka/Aksana

Tamina shoves Layla down to start but Layla comes back with some kicks. Tamina slams Layla as he blocks a kick before bringing in Aksana. The crowd is dead for this. The Funkadactyls are watching in the back. Aksana puts on a lame bow and arrow hold before it’s back to Tamina for another suplex. Layla whips Tamina into the corner, allowing for a hot tag to Kaitlyn. She fires off kicks and right hands to Aksana and spears her down, but Layla tags herself in and hits Lots of Layla (that bouncing cross body out of the corner of hers) for the pin at 3:52.

Rating: D. This was a rather boring match with things continuing to lead up towards Layla vs. Kaitlyn, but again there’s no reason to care about these girls. Tamina and Aksana are very boring as villains to be beaten up and Layla does nothing of note either as a challenger. The match was boring on top of having a played out premise to it.

The Bellas come in to see the Funkadactyls and the dancers say the Bellas were big influences on them. The Bellas call the Funkadactyls hoochie mamas who dance for a dinosaur and a man who thinks he’s Japanese. A brawl erupts and the Bellas leave the Funkadactyls laying.

We go back to Raw to recap the events with Punk, Kane, Undertaker and the urn during the tribute to Paul Bearer.

Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler

Kane takes him into the corner to start and fires off some knee lifts before punching away in another corner. An uppercut puts Ziggler down on the floor for a bit but he fires off some right hands back inside to get himself a breather. A big boot puts Ziggler down again though as does a slam. Dolph fires off more right hands but gets backdropped out to the apron. He comes back in with a missile dropkick for two before kicking Kane in the face.

A front facelock by Ziggler is easily thrown off by Kane but Ziggler counters with the jumping DDT for two. Kane comes right back with a delayed vertical suplex for two. A powerslam attempt is countered into the sleeper by Ziggler but Kane flips him down onto his back for two. Kane’s top rope clothesline puts Dolph down but an AJ distraction breaks up the chokeslam. Langston throws Bryan into the timekeeper’s area so Kane kick Big E. down. Back inside Ziggler hits a Fameasser and the Zig Zag for the pin at 7:17.

Rating: C. Not bad here but the distractions got to be a bit much. It was nice to see Ziggler getting a win here and it appears we’ll be getting Ziggler and Langston vs. HELL NO at Mania for the tag titles. The formula worked for Shawn and Diesel twenty years ago so why not do it again here?

Post match Langston lays out Kane.

We get another parody video from Del Rio and Ricardo, this one about evil Canadian immigrants. Apparently they’re crossing the border and bringing in maple syrup. Is this supposed to be amusing?

Jericho and R-Truth are laughing at the video in the back when Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter come in. Swagger talks about putting the weight of the country on his back and fighting for America’s soul. They accuse Jericho of sneaking across the border and stealing American jobs, but Jericho points out that he was born in New York. Jericho tells Swagger to focus on his match with Del Rio at Wrestlemania but not until after their match tonight.

Fandango still debuts tonight. Allegedly.

Great Khali vs. Fandango

I’m sure you know the drill by now. Khali can’t pronounce Fandango’s name so no match. The idea is starting to get old in a hurry. We waste another five minutes on this.

We get the Rock vs. Cena video from Raw.

Sheamus and Orton talk about being excited for the six man when Shield jumps them. Ryback comes up but Booker tells him to go fight Mark Henry instead of worrying about Shield.

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

They lock up and fight into the corner but here’s Shield about thirty five seconds in. No match for all intents and purposes.

Henry bails and Ryback clears out Shield. Henry gets back in but Shield comes back in to beat Ryback down. The TripleBomb lays Ryback out and the Shield leaves, allowing Henry to hit a pair World’s Strongest Slams for good measure.

Jack Swagger vs. Chris Jericho

Feeling out process to start as they fight for control via a hammerlock. Swagger takes over with a big right hand in the corner but Jericho clotheslines him to get a breather. The springboard dropkick sends Swagger to the floor and we take a break. Back with Swagger hitting a running knee in the corner before hooking a double chickenwing. Jericho finally rolls his way out of it but gets kicked right back down for two.

Off to a front facelock by Jack but Jericho rolls over into a near fall. Jack takes out the knee with a chop block to set up the Patriot Lock. Chris kicks off and gets two more off a small package, only to be suplexed down for two for Swagger. We take another break and come back with Swagger hitting a running splash in the corner but Jericho comes back with a DDT for two. Chris fires off some kicks but Swagger grabs the gutwrench, only to have the powerbomb countered into the Walls of Jericho.

Swagger blocks those though and puts on the Patriot Lock but Jericho rolls through THAT and puts on the Walls. They’re not on tight though and Swagger makes a rope. Out to the floor we go with Jericho sending Jack into the steps. Back in and a top rope cross body gets two for the Canadian but Jack blocks the Codebreaker. The gutwrench powerbomb is enough to end Jericho at 10:03 shown of 16:33.

Rating: C+. This started slow but the stuff after the second break was much better. This is where Jericho is so valuable: he could (and often does) lose like 80% of his matches but he’s such an established star that it doesn’t hurt him at all. The win doesn’t do much good for Swagger but it’s better than losing I guess.

Overall Rating: C-. The show was ok but there was nothing on here that got me excited for the most part. It was mainly Wrestlemania build but the focus was on everything but the Smackdown world title match. Del Rio wasn’t even on the show and the only mention of the match was the unfunny Canadians video. Then again, it’s not like this match means anything so it doesn’t make much of a difference.

Results

Sheamus/Randy Orton b. Rhodes Scholars – RKO to Rhodes

Kaitlyn/Layla b. Tamina Snuka/Aksana – LOL to Aksana

Dolph Ziggler b. Kane – Zig Zag

Ryback vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when Shield interfered

Jack Swagger b. Chris Jericho – Gutwrench Powerbomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 11, 2013
Location: Bankers Fieldhouse Arena, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re four weeks out from Wrestlemania and the top of the card is set. The major news coming out of last week is that CM Punk gets the chance to stop Undertaker’s Streak this year after winning a fatal fourway to end last week’s episode. Other than that we’re likely to hear more about Rock vs. Cena II tonight which should be fun after last week’s solid promos. Let’s get to it.

We open with a tribute video to Paul Bearer. This is the same one that aired on WWE’s Youtube channel last week.

Appropriately enough, here’s Undertaker to open the show. He kneels down in the middle of the ring in front of an urn and looks up at the In Memory graphic but is interrupted by CM Punk. Punk talks about wanting to extend his heartfelt condolences for Undertaker’s loss. That would be Undertaker’s loss at Wrestlemania of course. The silver lining for Undertaker is that Paul Bearer won’t be alive to see Undertaker go 20-1. Punk says that in four weeks, we’ll get a tribute video to Undertaker’s streak.

During the break Kane came out and tried to chokeslam Punk off the stage but he escaped. Kane went looking through the back for Punk but couldn’t find him. Instead he threw someone I couldn’t make out across the locker room. It might have been Alex Riley.

Big Show vs. Seth Rollins

This is a result of Shield beating up Big Show after Raw went off the air last week. Rollins runs at Big Show to start but is easily shoves away. Rollins is sent to the floor with Big Show in pursuit. The other members of the Shield jump him for the DQ at 41 seconds.

Show tries to fight them off but the spear takes him down. There’s the TripleBomb to leave Show laying.

Punk yells at Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox about what happened with Kane, so Vickie makes it Kane vs. Punk in a No DQ match.

We get a classic Bearer moment with him making his debut on the Brother Love Show.

Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is a result of Bryan making fun of AJ after she had water thrown on her last week. Bryan starts fast with a surfboard submission, only to have Ziggler escape and dropkick him down for two. Bryan comes back with an elbow in the corner and a stomp to the arm before backdropping Ziggler out to the floor. Bryan loads up the suicide dive but Langston gets on his apron to stop him in his tracks as we take a break.

Back with Ziggler holding Bryan in a chinlock but Bryan catapults him into the corner to escape. A running knee to Ziggler’s chest puts him down but Bryan runs into a boot in the corner. An O’Connor Roll gets two for Bryan but Ziggler pops out at the last second. Bryan fires off the hard kicks to the chest and a big one to the head gets two. Ziggler goes up top but gets crotched down hard. Bryan loads up a belly to back superplex but Ziggler turns over in mid air, turning it into a cross body for a VERY close two.

Bryan tries a standing huricanrana but gets dropped onto the top rope. The Fameasser gets two for Dolph and he pounds away on the chest. AJ gets on the apron to distract the referee as Bryan hooks the No Lock, only to have Langston pull him to the ropes. Another attempt at the No Lock is countered and Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for the pin at 11:30.

Rating: B. Good back and forth match here but it still doesn’t help Ziggler’s major problems right now, mainly being the lack of a match at Wrestlemania. Maybe he and Langston will go after the tag titles or something, but right now there’s nothing for him to do, which says a lot after how big a deal he was a few months ago.

Post match Langston hits the Big Ending (falling slam) on Bryan at AJ’s request.

We recap HHH’s challenge to Lesnar from last week.

Tensai vs. Fandango

Tensai tells him to get out here, but Fandango doesn’t like how they say his name. He wants Naomi to say his name because she’s the only one with any skill. Fandango says she’s better than this but Tensai cuts her off, meaning no match.

Trailer for G.I. Joe 2.

Another Paul Bearer moment is him returning with Undertaker at Wrestlemania 20.

Rhodes Scholars vs. New Age Outlaws

Before the match, Sandow and Rhodes do the intelligent version of the Outlaws’ entrance which is very amusing. Apparently they’ve reunited for good now, which makes me wonder why they split in the first place. Road Dogg: “Lord have mercy, this one is for you Percy (Bearer’s real first name). Roadie and Cody start things off and there are the shaky jabs to put Cody down. Before this goes anywhere though, here’s Brock Lesnar, sending fear running through Cody. Lesnar attacks Gunn for the DQ at 1:25.

Both Outlaws get F5’s and are laid in front of Lesnar. Heyman is here with Lesnar and talks about how Lesnar isn’t here to play games. He talks about Lesnar hurting both Shawn Michaels and Vince McMahon. Heyman says the last traces of DX were just destroyed right in front of you and that Lesnar will indeed fight HHH at Wrestlemania. However, there’s a but to that yes. Lesnar wants to name the stipulations before he’ll agree, but HHH has to sign the contract before he knows the rules. Heyman eggs HHH on by listing off people that HHH will disappoint by saying no. Heyman’s two words for us: BROCK LESNAR.

Kofi Kingston vs. Mark Henry

Kofi tries to fire off some kicks to start but is easily knocked out to the floor with a single kick from Henry. Out on the floor and Henry misses a charge into the steps, allowing Kofi to dive off the steps and stagger Henry. Back inside Kofi tries his top rope cross body, only to be caught in the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 2:26.

In the back, Cody makes mustache jokes to Kaitlyn when Sandow shows up. He says he has a surprise for Cody and here are the returning Bella Twins. Kaitlyn walks off in disgust. Vickie comes up and gives the Scholars a match with Randy Orton and Sheamus.

Ryback vs. Heath Slater

Mark Henry comes out to watch and there isn’t much else to say. Slater tries to jump him but gets pounded down, allowing for the Meat Hook and the Shell Shock to end this at 1:05.

Post match McIntyre gets Shell Shocked and here’s Henry to the ring. McIntyre gets a World’s Strongest Slam and a second Shell Shock. Now he gets another World’s Strongest Slam as the monsters stare at each other.

Trailer for The Call.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Antonio Cesaro

Non-title here as usual. Before the match Del Rio says he was born in Mexico but made in America. Alberto hits a quick cross body for two but Cesaro comes back with a forearm to the head. He pounds down Del Rio before hooking a fast chinlock. The world champion comes back with some clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. The low superkick and Backstabber get two each and Del Rio goes up top. He jumps into the European uppercut for two though and follows it up with an attempted German suplex. Del Rio easily counters into the cross armbreaker for the submission at 4:40.

Rating: C. This was fine, and although I could go without the US Champion tapping out in five minutes, at least it was to Alberto who is on a roll at this point. Del Rio is on a higher level than Cesaro so a loss by Antonio isn’t the worst thing in the world. Cesaro got in one good move the entire match though and that’s not a good omen for him.

Kane is holding the urn and has nothing to say.

We get a video recapping Cena vs. Rock over the last two years.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Randy Orton/Sheamus

Damien and Randy start things off with Orton in full control. It’s off to Sheamus to face Cody and the Scholars manage to send Sheamus to the floor to take over. Back do Damien for some knee drops for two as Sheamus is in trouble. He fights up with relative ease though once Cody comes back in. The not hot tag brings in Orton for an attempt at the Elevated DDT but Damien makes the save.

Orton is sent into the post and we head back inside so Sandow can hit the Wind-Up Elbow for two. Back to Rhodes who goes up top, only to get crotched and superplexed down. There’s the tag to Sheamus who cleans house, including hitting Sandow with the ten forearms on the apron. White Noise takes down Sandow again and it’s the Brogue Kick for the pin at 8:03.

Rating: D+. That’s probably really harsh but this show is hitting the exact same problem that every single episode does: it’s feeling long. We’ve done so much tonight and now the show is reaching levels of burnout. This is the same problem the show always reaches because three hours a week is just too much.

During the break, Shield attacked Orton and Sheamus.

We get some Touts from fans about Paul Bearer.

Here’s Jericho for the Highlight Reel with guests the Miz and Wade Barrett, both of whom have movies out at the moment. Miz is out first and talks about the success of his movie but here’s Barrett to talk about how great Dead Man Down is. Barrett talks about turning down a lot of movie roles because he’s busy being IC Champion. Jericho gets in his face and says he’s been Intercontinental Champion nine times and if Barrett keeps up, he might make it ten. Cue Brad Maddox who stumbles through the worst promo in the history of ever while announcing Jericho vs. Miz with the winner getting a title shot at Wade next week.

Chris Jericho vs. The Miz

This is joined in progress and the winner gets a title match at Barrett next week. Barrett is on commentary for the match. Jericho has Miz in a chinlock with an armtrap but Miz fights out with some left hands. Jericho bulldogs him down very quickly but the Lionsault hits knees. The Walls of Jericho can’t go on either so Miz takes out the knee. He can’t hook the Figure Four so Jericho fights for the Walls again. This time he manages to hook them but Miz crawls over to the ropes before falling to the floor. Jericho sends Miz flying into Barrett so the champion jumps Jericho for the DQ at 4:09.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the time to get anywhere and the ending was pretty clear for most of the match. The triple threat next week probably won’t be anything interesting but if it sets up an IC Title match for Wrestlemania I can’t say I’m complaining. It’s not like Barrett ever defends the thing.

Post match Barrett takes both finishers.

We get Ricardo and Alberto’s parody of Colter and Swagger’s videos.

We get a video from a Wrestlemania XI vignette which parodies NYPD Blue and has Bearer in drag, saying he has nothing to do with Yokozuna disappearing. A gong sounds, the lights go out, the lights come back on, Bearer is in a male suit. 1995 was weird.

Jack Swagger vs. Sin Cara

Before the match, Colter talks about how the fans are programmed to cheer for Sin Cara because of his entrance and the jumps he performs. Colter says Sin Cara is nothing but a sign of things that need to change. As the match starts we’re told that it’s a triple threat for the Intercontinental Title next week with Miz and Jericho challenging Barrett. Cara sends him to the floor to start and hits a big dive but might have hurt his shoulder. Apparently it wasn’t that bad as he charges back into the ring and fires off some kicks to Swagger, only to springboard into a kick to the ribs. The Patriot Lock ends this at 1:52.

Now we get an interview with Halle Berry about The Call. During the interview David Otunga calls her and tells her he may have given her phone number to someone who threatened him with violence. She hangs up and Kane calls her, asking why she doesn’t return his fan mail. Apparently Kane sent her a picture but she wasn’t impressed. She raises up her arms and makes fire come out of the ring posts behind Kane.

Ryback vs. Mark Henry on Smackdown.

CM Punk vs. Kane

No DQ here. Punk dives through the ropes to attack Kane to start but Kane comes back with an uppercut. He drops Punk throat first onto the barricade and loads up the announce table, only to have Punk hit Kane in the ribs with the ring bell. Back inside Punk shoves Kane off the top and hits the Macho Elbow for two before nailing the knee in the corner. Kane throws him over the top and we take a break at 11:05pm.

Back with Kane charging into a boot in the corner followed by Punk hitting a middle rope clothesline for two. Punk wedges a chair into the corner but Kane reverses a whip to send Punk into said chair. Kane goes to the floor and throws about four chairs into the ring before turning his attention back to Punk who is cowering in the corner. Back inside and Punk counters a chokeslam into a DDT onto a chair for two. The high kick blocks a chair shot but the Undertaker’s gong goes off, allowing Kane to chokeslam Punk for the pin at 12:00.

Rating: C. Not bad here but at the end of the day this match was WAY too late in the show to hold up. The ending was the right idea with Undertaker costing Punk a match to set up the Wrestlemania match a little bit more. That’s good, basic storytelling and the match is going to be awesome.

Undertaker and Kane do their kneeling salute to Bearer, but Punk hits Kane in the back with the urn over and over before leaving with it.

Overall Rating: B. This show did a lot for Wrestlemania, but at the same time the problem was how packed it was. There was no room to breathe on this show and it felt really long at about the two hour mark. I did like the stories being told and all the angle advancement we got, plus the Bearer stuff was very nice. Good but LONG show tonight.

Results

Big Show b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Shield interfered

Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan – Zig Zag

New Age Outlaws b. Rhodes Scholars via DQ when Brock Lesnar interfered

Mark Henry b. Kofi Kingston – World’s Strongest Slam

Ryback b. Heath Slater – Shell Shock

Alberto Del Rio b. Antonio Cesaro – Cross Armbreaker

Sheamus/Randy Orton b. Rhodes Scholars – Brogue Kick to Sandow

The Miz vs. Chris Jericho went to a no contest when Wade Barrett interfered

Jack Swagger b. Sin Cara – Patriot Lock

Kane b. CM Punk – Chokeslam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: March 1, 2013
Location: Chesapeake Energy Arena, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews, Michael Cole

This is another special edition of the show called Social Media Smackdown. In other words, the show is heavily themed around things like Twitter, Tout and whatever else is popular in that area of technology. I’m not entirely sure how we’re supposed to hear live from fans during a taped show, but I’m sure WWE has some “clever” idea in mind to solve this dilemma. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about Orton and Sheamus attacking the Shield on Monday in a surprise attack.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Damien Sandow

Non-title. On the way to the ring, Sandow complains about the poor sentence structure that the champion and Ricardo both use. He also doesn’t like the spit bucket that Ricardo carries for some reason. Sandow is only accomplished by his good looks and jealous gazes of the unwashed masses. Alberto makes fun of Damien’s breath and we’re ready to go. They fight over a lockup to start until Sandow gets a quick shoulder to knock Del Rio down.

The champion comes back with one of his own and Damien heads to the apron. Back in and Sandow hooks a headlock before stomping away in the corner. We get some tweets on the bottom of the screen to meet the social media requirement of the match. Some of the commentary is indeed new though as we hear Cole talk about some news stories from Friday.

Alberto comes back with a slam and a middle rope moonsault for two. Sandow hooks a chinlock to no avail as Del Rio comes back with la majistral (rolling cradle) for two. Damien is right back with a clothesline for a near fall of his own though as the fast pace continues. Sandow jumps into a kick to the ribs and gets backdropped out to the apron. An enziguri puts him on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Damien slamming Del Rio down and dropping the Wind-Up Elbow for two. Sandow drops some knees into the champion’s ribs and hooks a chinlock with his knee in the back. Del Rio fights up and hooks a German suplex to escape, putting both guys down. Back up and they slug it out until the Del Rio comes back with some clotheslines and a backbreaker. A low superkick gets two on Sandow as Swagger and Colter are watching in the back.

The cross armbreaker is countered into an Edge-O-Matic (reverse X-Factor) for two. Del Rio sends Sandow into the ropes and spins him around, allowing for some forearms to the back and a Backstabber for another near fall. Alberto loads up something in the corner but charges into a boot, followed by a running flip neckbreaker for two more for Sandow. He loads Del Rio into the Terminus but Alberto counters into the cross armbreaker for the submission at 9:42 shown of 13:12.

Rating: B. This was much better than I was expecting with both guys moving very quickly. The idea here was great with both guys getting to show off and look good in a match where they both benefit. Del Rio gets a win over someone who isn’t bad and Sandow gets to look good against the world champion. Above all else though: this is a fresh match. We haven’t seen these two fight, or at least not in awhile.

We get some clips from the masterpiece of Cena vs. Punk on Raw.

HELL NO is in the back and they talk about facing the Prime Time Players again tonight but with the handicaps from Raw reversed: tonight Kane is blindfolded and Bryan has an arm behind his back. Kane says fine but Bryan yells because Kane doesn’t know what it’s like to be blinded in a match. Kane is happy because he doesn’t have to look at Bryan’s ugly goat face during the match. Bryan says no a lot.

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. The Miz

This is 2/3 falls and Miz is challenging. No jacket of flag for Cesaro this time. Miz grabs a fast rollup for two but Cesaro takes him to the mat with ease. He puts a headlock on Miz before running him over with a shoulder for two. Miz hits a back elbow of his own for one and kicks Cesaro in the face for two more. The champion heads to the floor for a breather but back inside Miz goes after the knee. Antonio heads to the floor again, only to get caught by a sunset flip back inside.

A knee to the ribs puts Miz down for two and it’s off to a chinlock. Miz fights up and hits a clothesline, only to charge into a kind of torture rack slam for two. Cool looking move by Cesaro there. A rollup gets two for Miz but Cesaro Neutralizes him for the first fall at 4:02. We take a break and come back with the score tied up. Apparently Miz won a fall with the Figure Four during a break. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. Miz charges into the gutwrench suplex for two and it’s back to the chinlock.

The challenger fights up and stars raining down left hands on Cesaro but the champion calls Miz a stupid American, earning himself a slap. The Reality Check (backbreaker into a neckbreaker) is countered and Cesaro throws Miz into the air for the European Uppercut for a very close two. Cesaro taunts Miz, only to have the weak knee taken out for two.

They slug it out from their knees with Miz taking over and pounding away on Cesaro in the corner. The running clothesline in the corner sets up the top rope double ax handle for no cover. Back to the knee and there’s the Figure Four but Antonio makes the rope. Miz tries the hold again but Cesaro kicks him off. A rollup out of the corner gets two for Miz but Cesaro reverses into one of his own, pulling the trunks for the pin at 10:04 shown of 13:34.

Rating: C+. Another decent match getting some length here and both guys got to look pretty good. It was annoying having the second fall on the WWE App but I guess we need to make sure we get it if we want to see the full match. Also they just didn’t have time for the wrestling stuff tonight because we need to TOUT STUFF later on in the show or something. Decent match here and hopefully this ends this feud, although odds are it won’t given the finish.

Orton and Sheamus are in the back and Shemaus wants Randy to worry about the Shield. Orton says he has to worry about Big Show tonight so Sheamus offers to watch his back. Randy actually takes him up on the offer.

Video on Fandango who debuts tonight.

Here’s good old JR to interview Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter. JR talks about how he recruited Swagger to wrestle when he was playing football at the University of Oklahoma. Swagger insults the Sooners and Colter says they gave JR this interview because he’s a real American. We get a clip from September when Swagger walked out on Raw. Colter answers for him, saying that he taught Swagger the truth about what happens in America everyday.

JR doesn’t understand so Colter talks about how WWE is a microcosm of what America is like. Colter thinks it’s interesting that Swagger could go on a losing streak and leave at the same time someone like Alberto Del Rio comes in and takes what should belong to Jack. Colter goes into his usual schtick about illegal immigrants taking jobs from Americans. Remarkably in one of the most conservative states in the country, no one seems to disagree. Colter says that Del Rio doesn’t share the same values that he and Swagger do, so Del Rio needs to leave the country. Zeb compares Del Rio to rotten fruit that should be trashed.

Colter talks about Swagger winning the title at Wrestlemania but JR suggests that Colter is brainwashing Swagger. Apparently whatever talking Swagger and JR had done in the past means nothing anymore and JR needs to be quiet before something bad happens to him. Swagger gets in JR’s face and shoves him into the corner while calling JR a sympathizer. This brings out Del Rio who stands between JR and Swagger before saying that Swagger and Colter are the problems before saying he’s the solution. That’s a very good line and it ends the segment.

Your choices to face Del Rio next week are Ziggler, Barrett and Cesaro. The winner will be announced later tonight.

HELL NO vs. Prime Time Players

Non-title, Kane is blindfolded and Bryan has an arm tied behind his back. After a break, Kane puts a hood on over his mask but it has a goat face on it. Funny stuff. Bryan has Kane start with Young so Darren has some fun. He tries to trip Kane up in a school boy but the masked man catches on. Darren: “IT DIDN’T WORK TITUS!” Kane catches up to Darren and slams him down before Bryan tags himself in. After some kicks to the chest, a one arm crucifix gets two on Young. It’s off to Titus and we take a break.

Back with Daniel escaping from Titus and bringing in Kane. The fans help Kane find Titus in the corner and there’s a hip toss by Kane, but he can’t find Titus again. Young comes in off a tag and walks into a chokeslam but Young rolls away from the cover. Bryan tags himself in but Kane grabs the referee by the throat. Bryan tries to call him off so Kane grabs Bryan with the other hand. Kane eventually feels the beard and lets Bryan go, but the distraction lets Titus roll Daniel up for the pin at 3:55 shown of 7:25.

Rating: D. I have no idea what the point of this was. Is it that Bryan and Kane fight a lot? That’s fine I guess, but they did this same idea on Raw on Monday. It certainly wasn’t to push the Players as the division has already died off again. It wasn’t for comedy because other than the goat face hood, nothing on here was funny.

Post match Kane sees the goat face on the hood and is ticked off. Of all the costumes he’s worn over the years, that’s the one that offends him? Bryan wants a hug but Kane puts the hood on him and smacks Bryan in the face.

Big Show says he’ll chokeslam Orton tonight.

Here’s Chris Jericho live via Skype where it’s the afternoon. He’s on tour with Fozzie and bands like Metallica and Anthrax and plugs the replay of Robot Combat League after Smackdown. That’s that apparently.

We meet Fandango in the back where he rubs his chest and criticizes Striker for his pronunciation of the name. We get some lessons in how to say Fandango before Striker asks him about his fighting style. Fandango says that he’s accomplished everything in the ballroom so now it’s time to take his rhythm and grace to the ring. Striker says Fandango’s debut is up next against what sounds like Zack Ryder, but Fandango says the debut isn’t happening until Striker gets his name right before walking off. Oh dear indeed.

We recap Lesnar returning to attack Vince and HHH returning to fight off Lesnar, busting him open in the process.

Del Rio faces Ziggler next week with over 50% of the vote.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

During Orton’s entrance we get a clip from Raw of Orton and Sheamus distracting the Shield, allowing Orton to hit an RKO on Rollins. Orton avoids the chop in the corner to start and pounds away on the giant. Show knocks him back down and fires off a headbutt to stagger Orton. The big mane takes over and things slow down as he pounds away at Orton’s midsection. Show crushes him in the corner but gets dropkicked out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Big Show slamming elbows into Orton’s shoulder to keep him in trouble. Show hooks a short arm scissors but Randy fights up with some right hands. That gets him nowhere though as Big Show takes him right back down with the Final Cut for two. Show goes to the middle rope but his elbow from there hits the mat, allowing Orton to keep living.

Orton pounds away at the head and counters the chokeslam into a DDT for two. They head to the floor where Orton sends Big Show head first into the post to slow him down even more. Back in and Orton kicks Big Show in the jaw, allowing him to hit the Elevated DDT. Before he can follow up though, here comes the Shield. Big Show is still down so Orton is caught 3-1. Here’s Sheamus before Shield can get in the ring and it’s 3-2. The fans chant FEED ME MORE as the match is thrown out I’m guessing. For the time, we’ll say it was 7:00 shown of about 10:30.

Rating: C-. The match was pretty slow paced but it was jut there for the post match stuff. There’s nothing wrong with that at all and it allowed for Big Show to prove he hasn’t fallen far off the radar after losing the title. The Shield stuff is the important stuff though so let’s get to that already.

Orton and Sheamus get caught in the numbers game but Big Show gets back up and knocks Reigns out cold. Rollins and Ambrose don’t know what to think so they run away. This didn’t come off as a turn for Big Show but rather him fighting someone he perceived as an imminent threat. Big Show knocks Orton out with a punch so Sheamus Brogue Kicks him down.

Overall Rating: C+. The first 45 minute or so were really solid but then things started to taper off in a hurry. The social media stuff wound up meaning nothing although the version I watched which aired before it aired in America had slightly different commentary and didn’t include the JBL or Jericho interviews, the Call trailer or the Del Rio poll stuff. Still though, the social media stuff meant nothing at all for the most part. The show tonight was ok though and it looks like it set up a six man tag for Wrestlemania.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Damien Sandow – Cross armbreaker

Antonio Cesaro b. The Miz – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Prime Time Players b. HELL NO – Rollup to Bryan

Randy Orton vs. Big Show went to a no contest when Shield interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: February 22, 2013
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

Elimination Chamber is over and we’ve got our world title match from Smackdown set. Jack Swagger will be facing Alberto Del Rio, assuming he doesn’t do something stupid like get arrested for driving under the influence and have marijuana found on him between now and then. Other than that…..actually there isn’t much else confirmed right now. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Alberto keeping the title over Del Rio and Swagger winning the Chamber. We also get a clip from Raw with Rock unveiling the new title belt and Punk laying out Cena with the old one.

Ricardo opens the show by bringing out Del Rio. Alberto says the two of them are going to Wrestlemania to face the winner of the Elimination Chamber Jack Swagger. Apparently Swagger has a new friend and the two of them think that they’re everything that is right about America. Alberto has seen all of Swagger’s videos and his state of the union on Raw.

Swagger claims that immigrants like Alberto are taking opportunities and jobs but Del Rio says the country was built by immigrants. This gets a lukewarm response in Mississippi. Del Rio says that the world title is a result of his hard work and the American Dream. Swagger is a real jackass, not a real American. If Swagger wants to talk about handouts, come out here and Alberto will put his hand out all over Swagger’s face.

Instead he gets Orton of all people. Before Randy can say anything, the fans start a big Randy Orton chant. He says he was this close to winning in the Chamber and earning a shot at Alberto at Wrestlemania. However that was taken from him by Jack Swagger in a quick rollup. Now Orton can’t complain about that because he would do the same thing in Swagger’s spot, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to hurt Jack. Orton asks Alberto to step aside and let him fight Swagger tonight. This brings out Booker and makes Del Rio vs. Barrett and Orton vs. Swagger. Well at least it’s not a tag match.

Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow

This can be added to the list of matches that we’ve seen WAY too many times in the last four months. Sheamus pounds away to start but the guy in pink and purple (he’s a genius but can’t color coordinate?) punches back. We head to the floor and the pale one whips him into the barricade to take over again. Back in and Sheamus grabs Damien to load up the ten forearms to the chest. Sandow bails to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Damien holding a chinlock followed by the Wind-Up Elbow for two. Sandow fires off some forearms to the face before hooking another chinlock. Sheamus fights up but gets put in 619 position for a running hip attack from Sandow. That gets two and we hit chinlock #3. Sheamus fights up again but gets rammed chest first into the barricade to slow him back down. The Terminus is countered but Sheamus can’t hit White Noise. The Brogue Kick misses too and Damien goes for the leg. That goes nowhere either though as Sheamus hits White Noise. The Brogue Kick finishes clean at 8:43 shown of 12:13.

Rating: C. I like both guys but I wish they would find some new people for Sheamus to beat up. The problem here is that we’ve seen this match so many times that there’s no reason to care about Sheamus beating Sandow up anymore. I hope Sandow doesn’t get lost in the shuffle now that the Scholars are broken up because he was showing a lot of potential on his own before the team formed.

Video on Wrestlemania coming to New Orleans.

Video on the Shield and their dominance over the past few months.

Layla/Kaitlyn vs. Tamina Snuka/Aksana

Earlier today, Kaitlyn ran into Cody and said she likes his mustache. Layla and Aksana start with a dance off and Layla hits her in the face with her barely there shorts. Off to Kaitlyn for a chinlock but a Tamina distraction lets Aksana knock her to the floor. Back in and a side slam gets two for Aksana so she crawls over to Kaitlyn on all fours.

Off to a headscissors choke which Aksana turns over and uses to ram Kaitlyn’s head into the mat. Kaitlyn easily fights out and makes the tag off to Layla who hits a dropkick to the ribs of Tamina. Snuka catches a cross body and puts Layla on her shoulders but the British chick tags in Kaitlyn. A quick spear from the champion (Kaitlyn) is enough to end Tamina at 3:30.

Rating: D. Well since Kaitlyn has now beaten Tamina twice in five days, it’s pretty clear that Snuka will be up for a title shot very soon. Layla has reached new levels of annoying with her dancing and the “L.O.L.” cross body. This bubbly personality thing is really annoying but those shorts keep getting smaller and smaller so it’s difficult to complain. This was the usual lame Divas match.

Layla looks at the belt post match so there’s the next “feud.”

We get the ENTIRE Rock/Cena/Punk segment from Raw.

Swagger and Colter are on the way to the ring when Barrett stops them. He says he agrees with what they say but Colter doesn’t care what Barrett thinks because Barrett is from England. That means Barrett is taking a job from an American so he’s part of the problem. Well that’s different.

Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger

They lock up with Swagger being shoved into the corner and stomped down. A belly to back suplex gets two for Orton and a clothesline keeps Swagger down. Off to a chinlock by Orton but Swagger comes back with a belly to back suplex of his own for two. A shoulder block keeps Orton down but Randy pops up and hits the standing dropkick followed by the circle stomp to Swagger’s limbs. A knee drop ends the circling and gets a two count.

Swagger comes back again and wraps Orton’s leg around the post. Back in and he loads up the ankle lock, only for Orton to roll out of the hold. They head back to the floor where Randy hits the Thesz Press and pounds on Jack’s head. Orton is all fired up now and hits a bit clothesline to put Swagger down again as we take a break.

Back with them in the ring and Orton pounding away on Jack’s head again. Swagger gets thrown to the apron for the Elevated DDT but Jack counters with a backdrop to send Orton to the outside again. Orton’s shoulder is sent into the post as Swagger finally gets an advantage. The shoulder goes into the steps as well which gets two back inside. A kind of powerslam puts Randy down and a kick to the head gets two. Off to a double arm trap by Swagger but Orton quickly elbows out.

Jack gets backdropped out to the floor as the mirroring of moves continues. Randy sends him ribs first into the barricade and they head back inside. Swagger hits a quick chop block and the Vader Bomb out of the corner for two. Josh talks about Smurfs for no apparent reason as Orton counters a suplex into one of his own. Swagger misses a charge into the post and Orton starts up his finishing sequence.

Jack blocks the backbreaker though and loads up the Vader Bomb. Orton pops up and kicks Jack in the ribs so that the second attempt at the backbreaker works. There’s the Elevated DDT but Colter pulls Swagger to the floor before the RKO can hit. Jack pokes Randy in the eye and grabs a quick rollup (just like Sunday) for the pin at 13:26 shown of 16:56.

Rating: B. I was really digging this match by the end with the counters and mirroring each others’ moves. Swagger winning with the same thing he did on Sunday was a nice touch and the match came off really well. While it was cheating that won the match for Swagger, it wasn’t big time cheating which makes him look a bit stronger than a usual nefarious pin would have. Good stuff here.

The replay shows Swagger had a foot on the bottom rope too.

If you haven’t gotten enough recaps tonight, here’s the segment from Raw with Vince saying that he’s fighting Heyman on Monday and that Brad Maddox is the new assistant to Vickie.

The Miz vs. Cody Rhodes

On the way to the ring, Cody talks about having a mustache. Scratch that actually as it’s a lovestache. Cody takes him to the mat to start and sends Miz’s bad shoulder into the buckle to take over. Off to a quick shoulder lock but Miz fights up. Cody calmly hits him in the shoulder again though and takes control right back.

Miz comes back with some shots to the ribs but Cody hits a knee to the head for two. Back to the arm hold by Rhodes for a bit until Miz fights up and hits a big boot to the face. Miz misses a charge into the corner and hits his shoulder again so Cody loads up the Alabama Slam. Miz slides out though and trips Cody down. The Figure Four (a decent one too) gets the submission for Miz at 3:54.

Rating: D+. I know he’s gotten better at it, but man alive the Figure Four does not suit Miz. Also there was zero leg work done at all until the very end of the match which makes Cody look even weaker. On top of that, didn’t we see this match twice in the last week and a half? As I said with the opening match, repeating the same match over and over again doesn’t make it interesting. It makes me want to not pay attention.

Wade Barrett vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title. I saw this match at a house show about a week and a half ago and liked what I saw so hopefully this holds up. Before the match here’s Swagger to scout Del Rio. Barrett goes for a wristlock to start but Alberto kicks him in the leg to break it up. Wade stops to yell at Ricardo, allowing Del Rio to fire off some kicks to the ribs. Barrett is sent to the floor where he goes after Ricardo, allowing Del Rio to take him out with a baseball slide.

We take a break and come back with Barrett pounding away before he shoves Alberto off the ropes and out to the floor. After sending Del Rio into the steps we head back inside for a chinlock. Back up and Barrett hits the pumphandle slam for two followed by the big boot to Del Rio while he’s in the ropes. A few elbow drops get a two count on Alberto and it’s back to the chinlock. Alberto fights up again though and hits a quick middle rope dropkick to put Barrett down.

The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker hits Barrett and Del Rio is all fired up. He hits the low superkick for two as we keep cutting back to Swagger and Colter. Alberto gets a running start but charges into the Winds of Change for two. Wasteland is countered and Del Rio sends him into the corner for a Backstabber, getting two. Swagger starts coming down the aisle and Barrett uses the distraction to get a fast rollup with a handful of trunks for two. I thought that was it. A big boot puts Alberto down but the Bull Hammer misses. The cross armbreaker goes on and Barrett taps out at 8:46 shown of 12:16.

Rating: C+. These two have a good chemistry together and the match here worked pretty well. Swagger coming down didn’t really add anything but I don’t think it was supposed to. Above all else though: this was a fresh matchup. It’s so annoying to see the same people fight each other over and over, so having these two go at it for the first time on TV was a nice touch.

Swagger and Del Rio stare at each other to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling on here was decent and there were two quite good matches, but the recaps CRIPPLED this show. I don’t need 20 minutes of a two hour show being spent on stuff that I’ve already seen. That being said, odds are a lot of this show won’t mean much because of Swagger being a lunkhead after the show was over. Decent show, but good grief if I wanted to know what happened on Raw, I WOULD FREAKING WATCH RAW!

Results

Sheamus b. Damien Sandow – Brogue Kick

Layla/Kaitlyn b. Tamina Snuka/Aksana

Jack Swagger b. Randy Orton – Rollup

The Miz b. Cody Rhodes – Figure Four

Alberto Del Rio b. Wade Barrett – Cross Armbreaker

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Apparently Swagger was arrested last night after the Smackdown tapings on an undisclosed traffic offense.  No word on if alcohol was involved or not or if this is legit or storyline based.  I don’t see any indication that it’s an angle though.  Also no word on what this means for Wrestlemania.  It’s still early enough to change the match if need be.

Update: Apparently it was DUI and possession of marijuana.  Bye bye Wrestlemania.  Nice going Jack.

I’ve read this elsewhere and it’s a good question:Are we supposed to be cheering for illegal immigrants?  Swagger and Colter are clearly the heels, so we’re supposed to cheer people they hate right?  Who is this character supposed to appeal to?  Immigrants?  Republicans?  The Tea Party?  Fans in general?  It’s interesting but rather head scratching at the same time.  Also if he wants to taker America back from foreigners that look and sound different from him, shouldn’t he want to take the US Title from the European who speaks five languages?