Psycho Circus 17
Date: February 23, 2019
Location: NYWC Sportatorium, Deer Park, New York
Commentators: Christopher Andrews, Matt Striker

This is from the New York Wrestling Connection, a promotion out of New York (shocking I know) that has been around for almost twenty years. As is usually the case, I know nothing about the show coming in and that can make things fun. Granted I’m not sure how much fun a show called Psycho Circus is going to be but let’s get to it.

Keep in mind that I know nothing about this place coming in so I’m not going to have any idea about characters or storylines.

The unnamed hosts welcome us to the show and we’ve got a concept to start: a SAFE SPACE match.

Beer Belly Bandits vs. Shook Crew

That would be Bo Prichard/JT Kasin/Spyder vs. Bobby Orlando/Bryce Donovan/Max Caster (there’s a surprise, along with his rather awesome mustache) and….egads Matt freaking Striker is doing commentary for this nearly three hour show. Freaking joy. There is a table in the ring with a bunch of red Solo cups, plus some trashcans. Hold on though as Caster has a mic and seems to be a hype man for Orlando.

Coach Mammone is here to read the rules, which says there will be NO violence in the ring, but rather only fun, safe games. If you break the rules, you get a strike, and three strikes means you’re out. The coach gets punched down and the Bandits head outside as Striker realizes he screwed up by calling this a battle royal. Seriously, why does this guy keep getting hired?

The Bandits get back inside and we start with a game of throwing a Frisbee into a trashcan. Hold on though as the Frisbee winds up in the crowd, meaning the brawl can head to the floor. Everyone gets back inside and now let’s play some beer pong. This results in the Bandits having to drink a lot….until one of them throws a bowling ball through the table. This turns into a tug of war over Caster, who backdrops the referee into an accidental powerbomb.

The brawling is on with the Crew getting the better of things, including with a pillow shot to the face. Spyder gets Orlando to the ramp as Striker wonders how this is a safe space. Hold on though as the Crew goes under the ring, but Swoggle (not Hornswoggle, Striker) comes out to chase them back inside. It’s time to bust out the bubble wrap, with Orlando being powerbombed….well next to a goat (of some kind).

That’s good for a cover but Caster comes from the back with Officer Warren Barksdale. The Bandits are in violent of the safe space, meaning Prichard is handcuffed. This allows Striker to make jokes about the Mueller Report as the Crew wraps Kasin in bubble wrap for the pin at 10:09.

Rating: D+. I guess that counts as a match? Maybe? I’m not sure what to make of something like this because it was mainly a joke that went on for a long time without much of a payoff. This is something that probably shouldn’t have opened the show, though there is a good chance that they did this first so they didn’t have to worry about setting everything up later. That doesn’t mean it’s worth seeing or even having, though Caster as a low level guy on a low level show is cool to see.

The ring has to be cleared.

Joker’s Wild Battle Royal

There are several entrants here and since the audio isn’t great, their names aren’t exactly easy to understand. A few highlights: Officer Warren Barksdale, an unnamed woman, and Swoggle, among about fifteen other entrants. Swoggle is left in the middle of the ring as everyone starts fighting around him as we’re told the winner gets….uh, something that we don’t hear, as Swoggle punches the whistling Coach Mammette in the face.

That makes Mammone take off his pants but it’s time for everyone to go after the huge Apollyon and dump him out. Commentary finally gets to reveal that it’s a title shot on the line as everyone brawls on the ropes without much of a threat of an elimination. People are being tossed out with commentary not mentioning them as Swoggle has a drink. We’re down to eight after about four minutes and some more guys are tossed, leaving us with four.

J Rad (Maybe?) is eliminated via a bite from Swoggle, leaving us with Swoggle, Irish, and someone not important enough to name. Swoggle is back up with some German suplexes tot he guy who isn’t named Irish. The toss takes too long though, allowing the guy not named Irish to stomp away on the very banged up Irish in the corner. Apparently it’s Tinder Tom (what a name), who takes Swoggle down but gets sat on the apron. Irish eventually forearms Tom out, leaving Irish vs. Swoggle (I wonder if that counts as a civil war). Hold on though as Swoggle eliminates himself, telling Irish to win the title at 9:40.

Rating: D. I know the idea of a battle royal is to be wild and follows the idea of the one standing, but it doesn’t help much when you aren’t told who most of the people are or what they are fighting for until a few minutes in. Most of the wrestlers were not named here and it made things more than a little uninteresting. Swoggle not winning was a bit of a surprise, but I have no idea who these people are or why I should care about them winning.

We see some clips of Matt Striker in a NYWC ring over the years. Of note: they’re airing this on the video screen and pointing the camera at it for the budget version. Apparently he and someone named Mike Mistretta don’t like each other and get to fight here.

Matt Striker vs. Mike Mistretta

Mistretta has a manager and a tag team (they were in the battle royal) with him and seems to be the villain. If they think I’m going to cheer for Striker, this place is crazier than I thought. Feeling out process to start as Striker is indeed the favorite here, which is still bizarre to see. Striker takes him to the mat and neither can get very far. Instead they interlock their legs and stand on their heads for a slap off, which doesn’t last long. As commentary talks about Striker having a 90s Aaron Carter hair cut, Striker rolls him up and grabs a slam out of the corner.

The manager offers a distraction to break up a Fujiwara armbar and that’s good for an ejection. The tag team is out as well, leaving it one on one. Mistretta jumps over him in the corner but gets pulled into a rear naked choke. As Striker looks over his shoulder, the manager and the tag team come back with a chair but get held back by the referee. The distraction lets a rather big man come in and chokeslam Striker so Mistretta can get the pin at 5:32.

Rating: C-. It was ok while it lasted but a good chink of the match was spent on the interference and shenanigans. That being said, seeing Striker get beaten up is a nice thing. At the same time though, this company REALLY needs to work on its commentary, as they were too busy cracking jokes to explain anything going on here. It seems like there is a story, but when we don’t even hear the names of the people involved, there are some gaps left to fill.

The villains pose over Striker in a nice touch. Striker stays down for a LONG time, which has been a theme after the matches so far.

Papadon/Talon vs. New York Wrecking Crew

The Crew (second one of the night) is Chris Seaton/Smoothie Blackmon. It’s a brawl to start with the Crew clearing the ring, though Papadon and Talon bail from the threat of dives. Seaton hits a suicide dive of his own and we head back inside for the opening bell (I thought I missed it). Talon shoves Seaton down to take over and a Falcon Arrow gives Talon two. It’s off to Papadon, who holds off a sunset flip long enough to bring Talon back in to cut Seaton off.

A snap suplex gives Papadon two, causing commentary to say “shades of someone we can’t talk about but no one did it better.” Talon comes back in with a slingshot elbow and the chinlock goes on to keep Seaton in trouble. With that broken up, it’s a quick tag to the bigger Blackmon to clean house. A spinebuster gets two on Papadon, who gets caught between some alternating right hands. Papadon bites his way to freedom and Seaton is sent outside, leaving Blackmon to get spike piledriver for the pin at 7:36.

Rating: C. Rather odd to hear reference aside, this was a rather formula based tag match and that didn’t make for the most interesting stuff. I’ve seen Blackmon elsewhere and he got to showcase some of his talents rather well here, though he was really just the hot tag guy. Papadon and Talon worked pretty well together, even if the match wasn’t exactly on fire.

We look at the screen for another video, this time from someone we can’t hear about something we can’t understand. It seems like we have some former partners fighting after one turned on the other. Fair enough.

Blake Morrison vs. Bam Sullivan

Before the match, Morrison tells Sullivan to get out here and shake his hand so this is over. Sullivan starts fast and hammers away in the corner before dumping Morrison out to the floor. Morrison is sent outside, where a slingshot dive drops him again. They slug it out on the ramp until Sullivan hits a backdrop over the top. The referee has to take away a chair so Sullivan throws in the steps and poses a bit.

That takes longer than it should, allowing Morrison to boot him out to the floor. Back in and we hit the chinlock but Sullivan is right back up with a suplex slam. Morrison is able to pull him off the top for a big crash but Sullivan gets back up for a missile dropkick. The discus lariat drops Morrison again and a Razor’s Edge gives Sullivan two.

Sullivan hits a spear on the referee by mistake, but since he underestimates his own abilities, he knocks Morrison down and still expects a count. Cue some of Sullivan’s friends with a chair but Morrison grabs a mic and offers Sullivan peace one more time. Then Sullivan’s friends turn on him with the chair, allowing Morrison to grab a Tombstone for the pin at 10:09.

Rating: C. It was nice to have a bigger angle like this on the show as it hasn’t been the easiest thing to get into so far. This felt like a betrayal and that is something that almost anyone is going to be able to understand. The match came off like two guys who wanted to hurt each other two and that is going to boost things up. Neither exactly stood out, though Morrison was a nice squirrely heels.

Big O vs. Randy Summers

You might remember Big O (a huge musclehead) as Zack Ryder’s friends on his internet series. Summers has a rather energetic entrance and spins around a lot once he gets in the ring. They stare at each other to start and it’s Summers bailing to the floor. Back in and O powers his way out of a headlock without much trouble and a sleeper gives Summers the same amount of success.

Some shoulders and a running clothesline in the corner have Summers in more trouble, until he goes after O’s recently injured ankle. The leg is wrapped around the post and Summers gets to pose a lot. O uses the good leg to kick him away, only to have Summers go after the leg again. A springboard cutter (nice one too) gets two on O and the ankle lock goes on. What appears to be a tap (pretty clearly too) is apparently O reaching for the ropes so Summers goes up and misses a top rope stomp.

O’s leg gives out on a powerslam though and a running knee gives Summers two. The leg is fine enough to pull Summers out of the air for the powerslam but the pain means it’s a delayed two instead. Summers is right back with the ankle lock, complete with a grapevine, but O makes the rope again. Back up and Summers charges into a spinebuster for the pin (with O picking up the arm for some reason) at 9:56.

Rating: C+. When you have someone who looks like O, you don’t really expect much in the way of quality, but it worked out nicely here. They told a story with Summers taking out the leg to slow O down but not being able to do enough to keep him down. This was a nice surprise and O has actually developed into something of a wrestler rather than just a bodybuilder with a chokeslam.

Post match Summers suggests that he has a concussion off the spinebuster. Summers calls O a good guy who is nice to everyone backstage. O doesn’t look pleased and it gets worse as Summers talks about his brother getting hurt in a car wreck. After the wreck, O came to see him and made him feel great again, because that’s the kind of man he is. They go for a hug and Summers kicks him low for a heck of a heel turn. That one got me so well done.

John Silver vs. Mike Verna vs. Aidan Baal vs. Jaden Valo vs. Corey Cooper vs. Joey Conway

One fall to a finish and the winner gets an Independent Wrestling TV Title shot. Thankfully everyone gets an entrance and we have tags here as commentary tries to figure out why this is called a SUICIDAL SIX WAY. Valo gets jumped by Baal from behind but it’s off to Verna to knock Baal to the floor. It seems that we’re having lucha rules here so Conway comes in with a clothesline and a moonsault.

Verna kicks away at Conway until Silver comes in and literally tosses people around to clean house. A big dive drops a bunch of people but Conway’s version takes out even more. That leaves Verna to go up top for a big flip dive, with Valo following with a top rope moonsault onto the pile. Back in and Valo goes Delaware with a froggy bow for two on Verna but Cooper makes the save. Verna fireman’s carries both of them, but Silver German suplexes all three at once (geez), earning the right to pose.

Standing Sliced Bread drops Conway and one heck of a frog splash gives Silver two on Baal (the fans aren’t thrilled with that kickout). Commentary points out that Baal has split his pants as Conway hits a backpack Stunner for two on Silver. Verna hits a powerbomb/World’s Strongest Slam combination for two as Cooper is back in with a 450 to Verna, with Baal making the save. Valo gets to clean some house but Conway picks him up. That just lets Silver toss the two of them, causing Valo to Canadian Destroyer Conway. One heck of a running knee gives Silver the pin and the title shot at 8:23.

Rating: C+. Silver would go on to become the biggest star out of this group and that isn’t a surprise. He has the charisma that you can’t teach and that power game is enough to get him really far. Throw in the unique look and it’s easy to understand why he has been so successful. Verna was the only other one that stood out here and I could go for a bit more of him too.

Independent Wrestling TV Title: John Silver vs. Orange Cassidy

Silver is challenging and has to dodge the lazy kicks to start. Cassidy ducks some slow motion lefts and rights as commentary asks why Silver isn’t going for the legs. With the hands still in the pockets, Cassidy flips over him and nails a dropkick into a nipup (which commentary says “makes Shawn Michaels jealous”.).

Silver takes him down and forces the hands out of the pockets, setting up a hard clothesline. They head outside with Silver being sent into the barricade, setting up a top rope DDT for two. A fisherman’s suplex gets the same and it’s time to start on Silver’s leg. The leg is fine enough for a brainbuster and they’re both down.

Back up and Cassidy goes slow again, allowing Silver to strike away. Another brainbuster is countered into a Stunner, setting up a Canadian Destroyer to give Cassidy two. With nothing else working, Cassidy goes over to get some orange juice but Silver knocks it away. Silver goes to pick him up but the knee gives out, allowing Cassidy to grab la majistral for the pin at 10:02.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad, as Cassidy only did his shtick at the beginning and then got things back to seriousness. He’s still fun to watch as a novelty act like this, which is probably why I got tired of him in a hurry in AEW. Silver continues to be a blast to watch as he is such a ball of charisma. If he was six inches taller, he would be a star.

Respect is shown post match.

We’re cut to a bit later, as a….something has been set up. There is one wall of a cage, one wall of barbed wire, and one chain above the top rope with weapons hanging above. This is the Psycho Circus, so there’s your namesake match.

NYWC World Title/Starlet Title/Fusion Title/Tag Team Titles: Team Bull James vs. The Culture

Ok, this is a BIG one.

The Culture (King Mega – World Title, Brandon Watts – Rush Title, Dave McCall/Nate Carter – Tag Team Champions, Willow Nightingale – Starlet Title and Kris Bishop, who isn’t a champion) is defending (as in ALL titles are on the line) against Bull James/Bran Benson/CJ Benson/Kris Statlander/Mouse/Rex Lawless. Whenever anyone pins anyone, the two of them are eliminated and that title has been decided.

The match is basically WarGames with timed entrances, with James starting with Watts and heading to the floor to hide. Watts gets back in and gets annoyed at the idea of being sent into something, meaning it’s time for more stalling. Back in and Watts goes for a kendo stick but gets knocked to the floor as James glares down at him again. James finally gets his hands on Watts for a running splash in the corner but time expires. Kris Bishop is in to give the Culture an advantage for two minutes, but James clotheslines both of them down.

A slingshot Codebreaker drops James though and it’s Rex Lawless (he’s a big guy) to clean house as things are evened up. The Culture gets Samoan dropped/fall away slammed at the same time but it’s Nate Carter in to uneven the odds again. Carter also brings in a baseball bat to start hammering on people until Kris Statlander comes in to clean house as well. James hits Carter low with the bat but it’s Dave McCall in to make it 4-3.

McCall uses the cookie sheet to take over and a Coast to Coast makes it worse. CJ Benson comes in and makes the save but McCall/Carter hit Cryme Tyme’s G9. Willow Nightingale is in and gets in the face of Lawless, who towers over her. Then she kisses him, as the two seem to be an tiem. Then Nightingale hits him low and pours tacks in his mouth, because you have to have tacks. A superkick to the mouth makes it worse and there’s a Death Valley Driver into the ladder in the corner to keep Lawless down.

Brad Benson is in to even things up and hits a big dive off the cage to take off most of the people at the same time. Cue King Mega to complete the Culture and, after taking over a minute to get to the ring (with a grocery bag of something), it’s time for a bunch of chokeslams. Statlander gets a drink of something and spits it in Mega’s face, earning herself a powerbomb. Now it’s Mouse (with a stick) coming in to really clean house as everyone is in.

Bishop and Mouse fight over the stick until Bishop puts him on the top. Mouse kicks him away and gets the stick back. Mega doesn’t mind as it’s a huge chokeslam, allowing Bishop to pin Mouse for the elimination. Statlander is back with the Legos and a dropkick knocks Mega onto them for the painful looking landing. Watts and Nightingale launch Statlander into the cage but the Bensons make a save with various metal objects. CJ loads up a ladder and goes up….because the Tag Team Titles are up there? Sure why not.

Lawless goes up but gets shoved down onto nothing, seemingly crashing out to the floor. The Bensons hit an assisted moonsault onto Carter but McCall is back up with a shot to Brad’s head. The big ladder is brought in, with Brad driving it into McCall’s ribs against the cage. McCall and Carter make a save though and it’s a powerbomb to drive CJ through Brad to put the Bensons down. That’s enough for Carter and McCall to go up and pull down the titles to get rid of the two of them, plus the Bensons (thankfully clearing things WAY out).

Statlander comes back with the skewers to Nightingale’s head (because of course), setting up an ax kick to get rid of Nightingale and win the Starlets Title. That leaves us with Mega/Watts vs. Lawless/James, with the latter loading up the table in the corner. James punches Mega and Watts down but Mega is back up with a hiptoss through the table for two. Watts adds a frog splash for two so James goes after Mega, only to get rolled up by Watts for the pin.

That leaves us with Mega vs. Lawless for the World Title, which has James rather annoyed. Mega slugs away and hits a chokeslam onto the apron for two, with Lawless shouting a lot after the kickout. Another chokeslam is countered and Mega is shoved into the barbed wire. A chokebomb gives Lawless two but here is the Culture for some cheap shots.

Lawless and Mega fight up to the stage, where Mega knocks him onto a barbed wire board. Back in and Mega loads up a bunch of weapons, only to get hit in the head with a chair. Cue the Culture AGAIN but Lawless fights them off and shoves Mega onto the pile of chairs for the pin and the title at 38:22.

Rating: B-. I’m not sure where to start with this one but I do like the concept. This was quite the insane match and the idea let everyone get in there and do something at some point. Lawless stood out a bit due to his size, though Mega didn’t exactly seem to be able to do much outside of power. The name Circus really fits here as it was a lot of insanity, but having it be elimination let things settle back down as you wondered who would be able to go after which title. Good concept, though some of the weapons got a bit too silly.

Post match the winners come out to celebrate, setting up a staredown with the Culture. Mega and James hug and Mega raises Lawless’ hand to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was kind of a weird one, but the action was good enough to make the whole show work out. I like the concept of the main event and I’ll take that over some showdown that doesn’t exactly feel all that important. One thing the show could work on is telling us more about what is going on, but I can overlook some of that for the sake of an entertaining show. Tighten some things up a bit and you have something better, but for now, it’s a good enough event.

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IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Turning Point 2020
Date: November 14, 2020
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Madison Rayne

So this is one of Impact Wrestling’s Impact Plus specials and for once, the card actually looks pretty good. In addition to that, it seems like some things actually took place on the show and that makes it worth a watch. I won’t be doing these regularly but once in awhile can’t hurt. The company putting the whole thing up for free on YouTube helps too. Let’s get to it.

The opening video sets up the major matches, many of which are fallout from Bound For Glory. There is some stuff that has been built up since then though and the card has potential.

Eddie Edwards vs. Daivari

Daivari popped up at Bound For Glory. Edwards works on the wrist to start and then armdrags him into an armbar, so as to continue modern wrestling tradition. That works so well that he does it again before sending Daivari into the corner without much effort. A missed charge goes into the post though and Daivari bends the arm around the barricade.

Back in and Daivari works on his own armbar before sending the shoulder into the corner a few times. At least he’s mixing it up a bit. Edwards’ arm is fine enough to hit a suplex but Daivari sends him outside without much effort. That means another ram into various objects to keep Eddie in trouble again.

Daivari cranks on the arm back inside but goes up, allowing Eddie to hit the Backpack Stunner. Eddie goes up this time but gets crotched (Josh: “Eddie just looks like he’s in pain a lot of the time.”), giving us a double knockdown. Back up and the tiger driver gives Edwards two, as does Daivari’s rollup with feet on the ropes. The Boston Knee Party finishes Daivari at 11:26.

Rating: C. Eddie is good for a nice performance against anyone and Daivari has never been in better shape. This worked fine for an opening match and it’s often a good idea to have Eddie go over to start things off. There was no story coming in but it wound up working out just fine.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Rosemary/Taya Valkyrie vs. Tenille Dashwood/Jordynne Grace

Kaleb With A K handles Dashwood’s entrance as tends to be his custom. Dashwood is ready to start things off but hold on as she needs another picture. That earns her some choking in the ropes so it’s quickly off to Taya vs. Grace. They fight over wrist control until Grace runs her over for two. Taya gets her into the corner for some running hip attacks from both herself and Rosemary, the latter of whom slaps on a Muta Lock. A boot to the chest into a German suplex gets two on Grace but Dashwood tags herself in.

That means Grace’s spinebuster doesn’t give her anything but it does give Dashwood two. The low crossbody gets two more on Taya but she’s right back with a clothesline. Taya spears Grace down and there’s the….well it would have been a double tag if Dashwood hadn’t dropped to the floor for photos. Rosemary cleans house and gets the Upside Down on Grace. The Wing Clipper finishes Grace at 8:14.

Rating: C-. Not as good as the opener but completely watchable as the build towards the Knockouts Tag Team Title tournament continues. Rosemary and Taya could be a good choice to make a run in the thing while Dashwood continues to be just kind of there. The “It’s All About Me” deal is only going to get her so far, but at least it’s better than having her disappear for long stretches at a time.

Cody Deaner freaks out on Cousin Jake for not being there for him, costing him a match to JOHNNY SWINGER. It’s time to redeem the Deaner name. Do we have to?

Brian Myers vs. Swoggle

Swoggle says this is his home to start but Myers wants him to lay down. That just means a running headscissors from Swoggle and Myers heads to the floor, setting up a suicide dive. Swoggle gets tripped into the steps though and has to beat the count back in. We hit the reverse chinlock and the cocky stomping is on. Myers asks if Swoggle wants some water so Swoggle comes back with some chops.

More trash talk ensues so Swoggle hits him in the face and grabs a German suplex. A cutter looks to set up the tadpole splash but Myers kicks him in the head. That earns Myers a bite to the leg and now the tadpole splash can connect for two. Myers gets in a shot to the face though and a clothesline finishes Swoggle at 8:21.

Rating: D+. This is one of those matches that is only going to go so far and they hit that limit. Swoggle is a heck of a lot more than just some comedy joke but at the same time you can only get so much out of him. Myers is better than he was before, but he still isn’t exactly someone I look forward to seeing.

Post match Myers goes after Swoggle again but Crazzy Steve chases him off.

XXXL isn’t worried about the dream team of Chris Sabin/James Storm because reality is going to look the two of them in the face. Size matters.

Chris Sabin/James Storm vs. XXXL

Fallout from XXXL attacking Sabin’s regular partner Alex Shelley. Larry isn’t having anything of Sabin’s running shoulders so Sabin kicks the knee out. A running dropkick to the back of the head allows the tag to Storm for a double clothesline. Larry gets sent sent outside for a kick to the face and a whip into the steps but it’s off to Acey anyway.

Some double teaming in the corner rocks Romero but he runs Sabin over and hits a running dropkick. It’s back to Larry for two off a Falcon Arrow with Storm having to save. Romero’s sitdown splash misses so he sits on Sabin’s back to cut off the tag attempt instead. The neck crank goes on for all of five seconds before it’s back to Larry to punch Sabin in the chest. Sabin fights out of another neck crank and gets his knees up to stop another sitdown splash, meaning the hot tag brings in Storm.

Everything breaks down and Larry is sent outside, leaving Sabin to backdrop Storm onto Romero. More dives take out XXXL again and there’s a double suplex to Larry. They try the double catchphrase and get…..Beer Guns. Eh it’s a work in progress. Larry is back up with a clothesline to Storm but Sabin enziguris him into the corner. XXXL collides though and it’s Storm’s Codebreaker, Sabin’s enziguri and the Last Call to finish Romero at 11:25.

Rating: C+. This was pure formula stuff but Sabin and Storm working so well together does make a lot of sense. They fought each other so many times during their time with their regular partners that it makes sense that they know each other this well. Not a great match or anything, but a formula tag match from two teams who worked it rather well.

The Deaners go looking for Johnny Swinger and find the loaded fanny pack…..which contains a GUN. Holy John E. Bravo connection.

X-Division Title: Rohit Raju vs. Cousin Jake

Raju is defending and this is an open challenge. Jake doesn’t take kindly to Raju mocking his size and runs him over without much trouble. A big clothesline gives Jake two but he misses a charge into the corner. What looked to be a Boss Man Slam doesn’t work and Raju hits a jumping double stomp to the back.

The Crossface attempt is blocked with raw power so Raju tries a standing armbar instead. More power gets Jake out of trouble again and there’s a running shoulder in the corner. Jake counters a tornado DDT into an over the shoulder piledriver for two but Raju is right back up with running strikes in the corner. A Cannonball is countered into a Batista Bomb for two but Raju hits back to back jumping knees for the pin to retain at 7:09.

Rating: C. I know it doesn’t matter because it’s just Impact, but Raju deserves some mention for Most Improves Wrestler of the Year. The Desi Hit Squad was an absolute joke and there to get Mahabali Shera over. Now Raju is on his own and is doing rather well, which is about 495% more than you could have ever expected. Nicely done and a heck of a success story for Impact.

Post match here are Eric Young and Joe Doering (former FCW wrestler and All Japan Triple Crown Champion) to wreck the Deaners. Well they need someone new in there so it’s fine to give him a shot.

The Good Brothers want the Tag Team Titles because they’re the only titles they haven’t won. They’ve even reinforced their mantles to hold the new belts.

TNA World Title: Willie Mack vs. Moose

Moose is defending. They waste no time in slugging it out and Moose gets low bridged to the floor. Mack follows to the apron and gets tripped down in a hurry, with Moose shouting to Rich Swann that this is what pain feels like. A whip sends Mack into the steps and Moose shouts down at him even more. Back in and Moose chokes on the rope before grabbing the chinlock.

Mack fights up so Moose hits a dropkick as Josh compares Moose’s attitude/athleticism to Brock Lesnar. That sounds extreme but….eh maybe if he continues to develop. Now it’s time to start in on the ankle and then a hard whip into the corner has Mack down again. The destruction continues until Mack avoids a charge and hits a running pump kick. The Cannonball connects in the corner but Moose pops back out with a release Rock Bottom.

One heck of a slap wakes Mack up and he hits some running clotheslines but can’t put Moose down. They trade kicks to the face but Mack is back with the swinging slam. The legdrop gets two on Moose so Mack goes up, only to get caught with a top rope superplex. Mack avoids the spear and hits the Samoan drop into the standing moonsault for two more. That doesn’t matter though as Moose hits No Jackhammer Needed and then hammers away until the referee stops it at 12:19.

Rating: C+. This was about two big guys beating the heck out of each other as Moose tries to get ready to move up to the main event scene. They had a pretty good big man power match and it’s weird to see Mack taking this kind of a beating. Moose looked like a monster here and that’s the right idea.

Post match Moose stays on Mack until the referee reverses the decision.

Eddie Edwards says he has Rich Swann’s back tonight and everything is cool.

The North is defending. Alexander and Anderson trade wrist control to start but it’s quickly off to Gallows to take Alexander into the corner for the chops. Anderson is already back in but misses a charge into the corner, allowing Page to come in. Gallows hammers away on him as well and a slam gets two. The armbar goes on to put Page in trouble but Alexander gets in a cheap shot from the floor.

Page takes over on Anderson and stomps away so the champs can take over. Back in and Page runs Anderson over and it’s time for the alternating stomps in the corner. An assisted spinning powerbomb gets two on Anderson and he gets choked on the ropes so the North can pose. The chinlock goes on (took them long enough) as commentary goes over how many teams there are around here. Granted one of them is Reno Scum so you have to cut yourself off somewhere.

Anderson fights up without much effort and brings in Gallows to clean house. The North rapid fires strikes to Gallows’ face and the double Neutralizer gets two. Anderson is back in for the belly to back neckbreaker for two but the Magic Killer is broken up. A running kick to the face gets two on Alexander and there’s the spinebuster to Page. The Gun Stun hits Alexander and it’s the Magic Killer to Page for the pin and the titles at 12:52.

Rating: C+. You had to give the Good Brothers the titles at some point as they are treated like the biggest stars on the roster most of the time so why have them not holding the titles? I can get not wanting to wait until Hard To Kill either and this is a good way to get you more interested in seeing these specials. The North winning the titles at Bound For Glory was a surprise but they lost them here less than a month later so it was hardly a bad thing. The titles wound up where they should be so this is the right call.

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. Su Yung

Purrazzo is challenging and this is No DQ. This is a rematch from Bound For Glory when Yung was a replacement for Kylie Rae and won the title. Yung brings the weapons with her and low bridges a charging Purrazzo to the floor. The brawl starts outside with Purrazzo hammering away but charging into an elbow to the face. A Figure Four necklock goes on and Yung rolls them inside until Purrazzo slips out and grabs the ankle.

The threat of a Mandible Claw gets Purrazzo out of trouble so it’s time to bring in a bunch of weapons. The chair is wedged in the corner and Purrazzo snaps off a German suplex. Purrazzo chokes in the corner and rubs Yung’s face into….a piece of canvas, as in the kind used for a painting. They head outside with Yung’s arm being sent into the post and then wrapped around the barricade.

Yung finds a rope from somewhere but Purrazzo cuts her down with some kendo stick shots. A running boot misses though and Purrazzo goes face first into the chair in the corner. The slugout goes to Yung and it’s a bunch of cookie sheet shots to Purrazzo. They head outside again with the Pedigree onto the ramp knocking Purrazzo silly again. The Panic Switch is countered so Yung loads up the mist….but Purrazzo pulls up the canvas for the block in a smart move.

The canvas goes around Yung’s head and Purrazzo ties a chair around it as well, setting up the Venus de Milo. A lot of flailing has the referee thinking about calling it until Yung collapses. That’s good for two arm drops but Yung is right back up with the Mandible Claw. Purrazzo uses the rope to choke her way to freedom and grabs Cosa Nostra (a piledriver) to get the title back at 14:48.

Rating: B. They beat the heck out of each other here and that’s a good way to get Purrazzo back to where she should be. Yung was just a quick title change for the sake of replacing Rae and, much like the North winning the Tag Team Titles, it’s a quick reign that gets us back where we should be (given the circumstances at least). Good match too as they beat each other up until Purrazzo got the win. Yung does lose a lot, but again it wasn’t supposed to be her title in the first place.

We look at the Knockouts Tag Team Title tournament brackets:

Tenille Dashwood/Alisha

Havok/Nevaeh

Killer Kelly/Renee Michelle

Jordynne Grace/TBA

Kiera Hogan/Tasha Steelz

Sea Stars

Deonna Purrazzo/Kimber Lee

Taya Valkyrie/Rosemary

I’ve seen worse lineups.

Here’s what’s coming on Impact.

We recap Sami Callihan vs. Rich Swann for the World Title. They were friends a long time ago, with Callihan’s family taking Swann in when he lost his parents. Now Swann doesn’t want anything to do with Callihan and that’s not cool with Sami.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Rich Swann vs. Sami Callihan

Callihan is challenging. They shove each other in the face to start and Rich hammers away to put Sami down in the corner. Callihan pulls him into a Brock Lock though but Swann sends him outside without much trouble. Swann follows to the floor and knocks Sami around a bit, setting up the big running flip dive off the apron. Back in and Swann kicks him between the shoulders (Sami: “THANK YOU!”) but Sami gets in a shot to knock the champ off the ropes.

They head outside again with Swann tweaking his knee, meaning we hit the leglock back inside. Sami offers Swann his chin for some kicks to the face, which don’t have much effect. Swann’s headbutt doesn’t work either as Sami hits a quick Wasteland for two. Sami puts on an abdominal claw, followed by something like a standing Crossface. More shots to the face wake Swann up and he starts slugging away, setting off stereo kicks to the face.

They’re both down for a bit until they’re up at the same time, with Swann hammering away even more. A rolling splash gives Swann two but a cartwheel moonsault hits raised knees. Callihan gets two off a brainbuster and he rips out one of Swann’s dreadlocks. Swann doesn’t seem to mind and comes back with a neckbreaker. Now the cartwheel moonsault gets two but Sami catches him out of the corner, setting up a kneeling Tombstone for two more.

A piledriver onto the apron plants Swann again but he’s right back up with a handspring cutter onto the ramp. They both get back in but Sami is a bit dead. He’s also a bit faking and comes up with a clothesline, only to get kicked in the face. Swann heads up for the phoenix splash but here’s Ken Shamrock for a distraction. Cue Eddie Edwards to cut him off though and Swann hits a pair of kicks to the head. A low superkick retains the title at 20:33.

Rating: B-. I like the story they had coming into this and it made for a better story, though the drama was only so strong. They had a good enough match though and Swann gets another win under his belt. Callihan isn’t a major villain (at least on his own) around here anymore and the match was fine for a main event on a show like this.

Overall Rating: B. Yeah this worked out rather well and there wasn’t anything that was really close to bad. What we got was around a two hour and forty minute show with some good stuff and matches that actually mattered. This felt like something between a pay per view and a big time edition of Dynamite so for a free show, I’m certainly pleased. As usual, Impact does its best when it doesn’t focus as much on storytelling and that was the case again here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 3, 2020
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Madison Rayne

You don’t get to say this very often but it’s time to find out who shot John E. Bravo last week. Wrestlers are rarely shot or possibly even killed off, but now it is time to play detective, and I have a bad feeling that is going to mean a lot of Tommy Dreamer. But hey, maybe we can get some Eric Young thrown in there too. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a sepia tone recap of the build to the wedding and Bravo being awful to his wedding party. That’s a really good idea as I hadn’t been thinking of all those details and it gives it more of an “anyone could have done it” vibe.

Scott D’Amore gets an update on Bravo, who is in critical but stable condition. Tommy Dreamer comes up, dressed as an old school detective, and it’s time to find out whodunit. D’Amore thinks being shot doesn’t sound too bad.

Opening sequence.

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. Su Yung

Purrazzo is challenging in her Bound For Glory rematch and Kimber Lee is with her. It’s a brawl to start and neither can hit their finisher in the very early going. Yung sends her flying and it’s already time for the bloody glove. That takes too long though as it’s time for Purrazzo to start in on the arm.

The arm is wrapped around the bottom rope but Yung is back up with an anklescissors into the corner. They trade running shots to the face with Purrazzo getting the better of things but a double clothesline puts both of them down. Back up and Purrazzo’s cradle piledriver is blocked, setting up the Mandible Claw. Lee slides in a chair, which Yung picks up and uses on Purrazzo for the DQ at 4:30.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but unlike Rich Swann vs. Eric Young’s quick rematch last week, I could go for a rematch here. The creepy monster vs. the technical master is an interesting way to go and their match at Bound For Glory was pretty good. They were smart not to waste anything here and keeping it quick was simple. This could be a big showdown/main event later, so save the real match for that.

Post match Yung uses the chair to drop both of them and clear the ring.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

It’s time for Rhino and Heath to sign Heath’s contract with Scott D’Amore. One thing though: Heath is still hurt, so until that’s cleared up, he isn’t getting to sign. The two of them leave so here’s Barrister RD Reynolds to say that shouldn’t be Deonna Purrazzo’s rematch. D’Amore says she can have another rematch at Turning Point, where anything goes. Wrestling has an interesting understanding of how negotiations work.

Rich Swann comes in to see Eddie Edwards and even sings Eddie’s theme song. They have Sami Callihan and Eric Young tonight.

Chris Bey vs. Trey Miguel

They fight over arm control to start with Trey taking him down into an armbar. Bey flips out of a springboard wristdrag though and they trade armdrags. Both of them try one at the same time and go down to the mat for a….I guess it’s a layoff actually. Back up and a dropkick puts Bey on the floor but he trips Miguel down to take over.

A rake to the eyes and a running forearm to the back have Miguel in more trouble and it’s time to stand on his back for some posing. Back up and Trey dropkicks the leg out and hits a reverse 619. Bey crotches him on top but gets tied in the ropes for the Cheeky Nandos kick (which may have been blocked). Trey tries a charge but gets kicked away, setting up a diving cutter to give Bey the pin at 6:25.

Rating: C. I like both guys and it was nice to see them getting a little time to showcase themselves. They’re both young and talented and it’s great to see them in the ring. This is the kind of thing that can do something positive for their future and they had a nice enough match here when they got the chance.

It’s time for Locker Room Talk with Madison Rayne and Johnny Swinger talking about John E. Bravo being shot (you might think ATTEMPTED MURDER would get more attention on this show). Anyway it’s time to talk about the Women’s Tag Team Title tournament, with Madison having to tell Swinger to cool it with the tag team jokes.

Jordynne Grace and Tenille Dashwood (with Kaleb With A K) are the guests this week and Madison gets right to the point: they should be partners in the tournament. Grace is interested but Dashwood wants the titles for herself….so she asks Madison. That’s a deal, but Grace tosses away Kaleb With A K’s camera and leaves. Not that it matters as Swinger won’t get out of the shot.

Dreamer, in a deerstalker hat, accuses one of the referees of being the shooter. Johnny Swinger and Cody Deaner argue over who should be the next witness because they have a match tonight. Dreamer: “MATCH TI….” Cody: “Wrong show.” They’re both still suspects though so go have their match and then come back.

Here’s Rohit Raju with another Defeat Rohit challenge but he wants fresh meat. Cue TJP in street clothes but Rohit says no because TJP already had his shot. He does have an opportunity tonight though: an opportunity to get out of the ring. Rohit rants at TJP for taking up his time after he spent so much time scratching and clawing. TJP doesn’t think much of that and lists off all of his accomplishments so far. Now why should he be worried about Rohit? Well that’s because Rohit is the current X-Division Champion and TJP is a has been. TJP gets in his face and throws his tea in his face as the brawl is on. Sounds Turning Pointish.

Chris Sabin says Alex Shelley is fine but he finds it interesting that teams are having to divide and conquer the Motor City Machine Guns. He wants either member of XXXL one on one.

Rohit Raju and TJP rant to Scott D’Amore, who makes another match between them, but it’s TJP’s last shot as long as Rohit is champion.

Doc Gallows vs. Ethan Page

Karl Anderson and Josh Alexander are here too. Gallows shoves him down without much trouble to start and a shoulder puts Page on the floor. Back in and Gallows unloads on him in the corner, sending Page outside again. Page gets in again so Gallows mocks Page’s martial arts and knocks him outside a third time.

That’s not cool with Page, who comes back in and takes Gallows down to hammer away. A DDT gives Page two and we hit the chinlock. That doesn’t last long so Page goes with a dropkick for two and it’s back to the chinlockery. That’s broken up in a hurry with Gallows fighting up and hitting a charge in the corner. Alexander posts Anderson for a distraction though and then comes in for the DQ at 6:22.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it’s better than the wrestlers getting to trade one win after another back and forth. The North vs. the Good Brothers could be a heck of a showdown on a major stage and that might wind up being Hard To Kill. I’m not sure if it can be dragged out that long, but hopefully things get a little bit better if they are going that long.

Post match the Good Brothers clean house.

Swoggle says it’s time to be a star in wrestling but here’s Brian Myers to say this place is serious. That sends Swoggle into a rant about how Myers has been disrespecting Tommy Dreamer, because insert your own Dreamer is around too often joke. Myers throws down Swoggle’s book and shoves him over for a bonus.

Cody Deaner vs. Johnny Swinger

Cody runs him over to start and hits a hard clothesline for a bonus. Hold on though as Cody needs beer, allowing Swinger to choke him o the ropes. Some atomic drops have Swinger in trouble but a rake of the eyes breaks up the Dreamer DDT. Swinger goes outside and grabs his fanny pack to knock Deaner out at 3:01.

Rating: D. Nothing to this one of course, though Swinger selling the atomic drops was good stuff. Swinger continues to be someone who has no business being this entertaining and yet he keeps pulling it off. I could go for more of him like this and if it means loaded fanny packs, even more than that.

Here’s Moose to say that no one has taken the TNA World Title serious in six months. Some people say he took the title out of a trashcan but Moose lists off his resume, including his recent(ish) big wins. Granted they’re mainly ECW guys so I’m not sure how seriously I should be taking this. Now he has Rich Swann running around with the second most important title in this company. Come find him though and Moose will teach Swann what pain is. We see a clip of Moose attacking Willie Mack last week so Swann has been warned. Cue Mack for the brawl with Moose easily getting the better of things. Mack vs. Moose works.

In the back, Chris Bey comes up to Rich Swann and asks for a title shot. Swann seems interested but here’s Eddie Edwards to say it’s main event time.

Tommy Dreamer has narrowed his list down to ten suspects, most of whom were on Wrestle House. James Mitchell tries to say he couldn’t do it because he’s an angel but cracks up laughing. Taya says she is an angel, which is what Dreamer thinks makes her a perfect suspect. A bunch of mug shots take us out, making me think we’re in for another reality/competition show.

Here’s what’s coming next week and at Turning Point.

Rich Swann/Eddie Edwards vs. Sami Callihan/Eric Young

Swann and Callihan start things off with Sami knocking him into the corner. Everything breaks down in a hurry with Eddie and Swann hitting some dives to send us to an early break. Back with Eddie putting Callihan in a Boston crab for a flipping legdrop from Swann. Sami pops right back up and decks Sami, allowing the fast tag off to Young. Stomping and a neckbreaker give Young two and it’s back to Sami for a chinlock.

Young elbows Eddie in the face for two but Eddie gets in a Blue Thunder Bomb on Callihan. The partners are knocked off the apron, leaving Eddie to catch Swann with a running boot in the corner. The hot tag brings in Swann as everything breaks down. Swann gets to clean house and he hurricanranas Young off the ropes onto Callihan for two. A double Lethal Injection drops the villains and the real hot tag brings in Eddie to take over.

Eddie grabs a half crab on Young and Swann gets the Sharpshooter on Callihan. They tease tapping out but grab the arms to break it up. Young gets out and breaks it up so Eddie catapults him out to the floor. There’s the Backpack Stunner for two on Sami and the half crab goes back on. Cue Ken Shamrock to jump Swann (and possibly Young) for a distraction though, allowing Sami to hit the Cactus Special and pin Eddie at 10:57.

Rating: C+. Totally fine big name main event which is likely going to set up a bunch of stuff in the future. The main event scene is doing well at the moment and while Swann is still growing into a main event, points for trying someone new in the role, which has been a problem for a long time now. The evil trio will be fine enough for the short term, but they need a top villain.

Overall Rating: C-. It wasn’t their best show but there is enough going on to make me want to see where some of these things go. They seem to be in a bit of a holding pattern with some of the bigger stuff though and the Who Shot Bravo feels more like a vehicle for Dreamer than anything else. It should be fun though and if that’s the case, we should be in for a nice enough winter. Not a show you need to see here, but it was an acceptable two hours.

Results

Deonna Purrazzo b. Su Yung via DQ when Yung used a chair

Chris Bey b. Trey Miguel – Middle rope cutter

Doc Gallows b. Ethan Page via DQ when Josh Alexander interfered

Johnny Swinger b. Cody Deaner – Fanny pack to the head

Sami Callihan/Eric Young b. Eddie Edwards/Rich Swann – Cactus Special to Edwards

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Black Label Pro Wrestling

Adventures In Wrestling
Date: April 5, 2019
Location: White Eagle Hall, Jersey City, New Jersey
Commentator: Sarah Shockey, Drew Cordero

This is from Black Label Pro, which I’ve heard of in name only. We’re still in Wrestlemania weekend and that means that, as usual, I have no idea what to expect here. This is one of the rare shows where I’ve heard very few good things about the event. For the show to be considered that bad, I’m almost scared of what is going to happen here. Let’s get to it.

Ring announcer Stepstool Sarah (who was on the Independent Wrestling Family Reunion show) welcomes us to the show and introduces the first match.

Black Label Pro Title: Ethan Page vs. Kobe Durst

Page is defending and comes out first, demanding that Durst get out here right now. Durst comes in from behind and smashes Page with a chair as I guess this is No DQ. Page gets knocked to the floor and a kick to the face makes it even worse. The announcer does let us know that it’s a street fight, which really could have been said before the introductions. A chair shot knocks Durst backwards and Page loads up the chair in the corner. They slug it out on the floor until Durst gets thrown head first into the chair for a knockdown.

The chair is wrapped around Durst’s throat and gets sent into the post as they haven’t been in the ring yet. As the announcers give us the first bit of backstory (Durst has recently gone heel, though Page is heelish as well), Durst comes back with a chair shot of his own and sends Page into the post to even the score. Durst throws a trashcan (full of weapons) and they actually get inside over four minutes into the match.

We get an OLD CHAMP/NEW CHAMP dueling chant as Durst gets caught on top with a super fall away slam which nearly saw him land on his head. With that near death experience out of the way, Durst is fine enough to kick out at two. A jumping Fameasser gives Durst two but Page is right back with a superkick into a toss powerbomb onto a trashcan. That’s only good for two as Durst’s goons come in to lay out Page but Durst gives one of them a top rope Codebreaker by mistake. How you can conceivably give someone a move like a TOP ROPE CODEBREAKER by mistake isn’t clear.

Page is back up and throws Durst onto his goons but Durst is right back in with a top rope seated senton onto Page onto a chair for a huge crash. There’s a table bridged between a pair of chairs but Page super jackknifes him through said table for the big crash. Page goes for a chair but Durst winds up wrapping it around his head for a Codebreaker. A piledriver onto a chair gives Durst the pin and the title at 15:07.

Rating: C+. This worked, though they could have gone with a lot more backstory. We got bits and pieces here and there but I needed a lot more than just “well they used to be friends but WHAT A CHAIR SHOT!” It could have been a lot worse though and I could piece the story together well enough. Couple that with some action and they had a nice enough opener.

Page chases Durst to the back.

Independent Wrestling TV Title: Orange Cassidy vs. Bryan Alvarez

Bryan is challenging and yes it’s THAT Bryan Alvarez, of F4WOnline fame. Cassidy is a rather heavy favorite and starts with his signature hands in his pockets pose. The no effort shoulder freaks the fans out and Cassidy kicks him away and does it again. Alvarez tries to run the ropes so Cassidy crawls through his legs. Apparently not having watched any shows this weekend, Alvarez goes for a waistlock so Cassidy dances out and nips up (on the second attempt).

Rating: D+. I’m just kind of over Cassidy at this point, having seen nearly half a dozen matches from him over the weekend. They’re all very similar and after so many of them in a few days, they become rather repetitive and lose their charm. It wasn’t a bad match for comedy stuff, but that’s about all it had going.

Sadkampf vs. Manny Fernandez/Tank

Sadkampf is Dominic Garrini and Kevin Ku and Fernandez was a star in JCP back in the mid to late 1980s (and elsewhere). I always liked the guy and he was a big reason why I wanted to see this show. Before the match, Fernandez pays a quick tribute to Vickie Funk and says that without the fans, the wrestlers are nothing. Tank, a rather big guy, goes straight to what looks like a fork to stab Ku in the head. Fernandez slams Garrini as Ku gets a fork between the legs.

There’s a bite to Garrini’s feet as I don’t think we’re going to be having any regular wrestling. Tank headbutts his partner to fire him up and it’s time for some barbecue skewers, sending Sadkampf running into the crowd. Fernandez gets posted and it’s Garrini bringing in some chairs to blast Tank. That’s broken up by a horrible chair shot from Fernandez and it’s time to sit in the chairs and hit each other in the face. The barbecue skewers start drawing blood and Tank hits some assisted splashes in the corner. Fernandez gets sent to the floor in a hurry though and a small package pins Tank at 7:20.

Post match Tank and Fernandez cleans house with the chairs.

Nick Gage vs. Swoggle

Oh geez is going to get worse. Swoggle goes straight for two chairs and sits in the middle for a slugout with Gage. After Swoggle gets the better of it, Gage takes him down with a spinebuster. They head outside with Gage being thrown into the chairs and a dive off the second level drops him again. Back in and Gage hits him with a chair, setting up the Vader Bomb elbow for two.

Rating: D-. Gage isn’t a wrestler and Swoggle was doing everything he could. There isn’t much of a need to have two run-ins in a seven minute match but then again there’s little need for this other than freak show appeal. I know I’m not the right audience, but I like Swoggle and they kept it….timely. Just get rid of Gage.

Post match Gage praises Swoggle and promises to get in a deathmatch by the end of the weekend. Swoggle thanks Gage for proving to the marks that he can still do this.

Brian Zane of Wrestling With Wregret (which I somehow just started watching) is here to host the battle royal. He’s loudly booed out of the ring but manages to say that the winner will be the Wrestling With Wregret Internet Champion. Oh and they get a million dollars.

Wrestling With Wregret Internet Title: Battle Royal

Allie Kat, Aspyn Rose, Boomer Hatfield, Cabana Man Dan, Danhausen, Danny Adams, Derek Direction, Dr. Daniel C. Rockingham, Eddy Only, Frisco Flame, Jay Freddie, Kody Lane, Levi Shapiro, Maria Manic, Marino Tenaglia, Matt Knicks, O’Shay Edwards, Perry Von Vicious, Philly Collins, Steph De Lander, White Mike, Yuu

Shapiro is defending and it’s just a bunch of names with nothing more than an individual entrance. Danhausen throws someone out almost immediately and it’s Yuu out next. Commentary is the only thing I can go for here as these people aren’t named other than when they’re being eliminated. A few unnamed people are tossed and a woman with very yellow hair starts Stunning a line of also unnamed entrants.

The huge Edwards no sells a few until a third sends him into the corner but Manic (a rather angry looking woman) isn’t having any of this. Danhausen goes up top for no apparent reason, allowing Edwards to dump him, Direction and Only. Rockingham is thrown out but comes back in to offer tickets to Edwards and Manic. That means a double toss, followed by a slugout between Manic and Edwards. Maria gets rid of him and someone else, but someone (NAME THESE PEOPLE) eliminates Hatfield.

Cabana Man Dan beats on people with his flip flops before being tossed as well. More eliminations follow and it’s Maria and Steph beating on Allie in the corner. That partnership lasts as long as any partnership and it’s Maria tossing her after a shoulder. We’re down to Allie, Maria and Shapiro, who is out in a hurry. Maria pulls out and loses a knife but jumps over the top for a dropkick….and misses completely to eliminate herself and give Allie the win at 10:37. Oh hang on though as Adams runs back in, tries an elimination, and gets piledriven on the apron to give Allie the real win at 11:46.

Rating: F. You know, I’m struggling to come up with a show that just died so hard in the middle like this. The opener was passable, the second match was good enough if you haven’t seen Cassidy all weekend and then….my goodness. I don’t know who was in this match and I have no reason to care, but hey, Allie won and gets to pose with someone the fans hate despite being a face. Egads it could actually get worse too.

Post match Zane gives her the title and a huge check before they both leave so we can move on.

Kurt Stallion/AJ Gray/Gary Jay vs. Jake Parnell/Chris Dickinson/Rory Gulak

Parnell is Indiana State Champion….but hang on as Rory wants to make it an eight man tag.

Kurt Stallion/AJ Gray/Gary Jay/CW Anderson vs. Jake Parnell/Chris Dickinson/Rory Gulak/Daniel Makabe

Good thing Stallion and company had a friend ready. Makabe’s shoulder has no effect on Anderson to start so CW slaps him in the face. It’s off to Dickinson vs. Stallion for some technical stuff until a headbutt knocks both of them down. Jay comes in to chop Dickinson, who is right back with a Death Valley Driver as they’re getting in as much as they can as fast as they can. Parnell comes in to chop at Jay (archenemy) and it’s Gulak (Drew’s brother) coming in for a chinlock.

Jay gets taken into the corner and Dickinson puts Rory on his shoulders, setting up a big elbow drop. Jay jawbreaks his way out of Makabe’s chinlock and it’s Gray coming in to clean house with clotheslines. Parnell gets catapulted into Anderson’s superkick as everything breaks down. That means the parade of strikes and suplexes until Anderson hits his spinebuster. Gray lariats the heck out of Parnell for the pin at 7:10.

Rating: D+. This was the best match in a long time on the show but it’s another case of having so many people involved that no one got to stand out and it didn’t work. There wasn’t much of a reason to make this an eight man tag, other than getting an ECW name in there. Just too rushed and cluttered to work, but that’s been the case all show.

Jordynne Grace/Kylie Rae/Nicole Savoy/Samantha Heights/Solo Darling vs. Charli Evans/Indi Hartwell/Jessica Troy/Shazza McKenzie/Zoe Lucas

They’re kidding right? This is USA vs. the World, which is the most original idea they could come up with. Troy and Darling start things off (I think, as the announcers are talking about other matches over the weekend) with Troy getting caught in a half crab on the mat. Darling reverses into something like a Tequila Sunrise. That’s reversed into an exchange of leg pulls, with the other eight coming in to make it a huge tug of war.

Savoy and Hartwell come in with Hartwell getting caught in an ankle lock, sending her over to Shazza for a save. Jordynne comes in as well for a captain vs. captain showdown (because this match needs captains). Grace gets caught in an early La Majistral for two and it’s a pinfall reversal sequence into a standoff.

They shake hands and it’s off to Rae, who is similar to Bayley’s original NXT gimmick (and downright adorable). A chin and facebreaker get rid of Rae and Evans comes in to take over on Rae in the corner. Grace breaks up a cover but it just allows Rae to get beaten down even more.

The Aussies take turns whipping each other into Rae in the corner but a bunch of forearms get her out of trouble, setting up the hot tag to Grace to clean house with raw power. Savoy and Heights hit stereo dives and Rae adds a trust fall, leaving Grace to dive onto everyone. Back in and it’s another parade of I’m assuming finishers, including the Grace Driver to finish Lucas at 11:42.

Rating: D+. This is a joke right? As has been the case with most of the matches tonight: no story, no psychology, barely anything differentiating the wrestlers. This is a bunch of people doing moves to each other until one of them gets a fall. I’m getting sick of this nonsense and I don’t see things getting any better.

Tag Team Titles: Space Pirates vs. Besties In The World vs. Robbie Eagles/Sammy Guevara

The Pirates (Space Monkey/Shane Sabre) are defending and this was billed as a four way during the entrances. It’s a brawl to start with Monkey pulling at the Besties’ (Davey Vega and Mat Fitchett) hair. Sammy and Eagles make the save and clean house until we hit a hanging DDT with a triple reverse DDT with a Salida Del Sol, because MULTI MAN MATCH!

A series of springboard shots to the head sets up Sabre backdropping Monkey for a cutter onto Eagles for two (cool spot) with Sammy making the save. Sammy’s Burning Hammer into a cutter gets two on Sabre with the Besties diving in to break it up. A toss cutter gives the Besties two but it’s a kneeling belly to back piledriver with a tail whip (exactly what it sounds like) to give Eagles the pin on Fitchett at 5:35.

Rating: C-. Another match with a bunch of people thrown together with everyone hitting a series of moves until there was a pin. I didn’t bother looking up the Besties’ names because it’s not like they made a difference. The other teams’ names didn’t either as I knew them in the first place. This show has gone off a cliff and this was the same problem all over again.

Jonathan Gresham vs. Shigehiro Irie

Irie is a hard hitting guy from Japan who has been around all weekend. Gresham gets in and Irie jumps him at the bell, setting up a seated senton for an early two. Back up and Irie gets knocked to the floor but he’s fine enough to pull Gresham outside and send him into the barricade for rather limited impact.

Back in and Gresham wins a slugout, setting up a running basement dropkick in the corner. The sleeper doesn’t work and Irie gets two off a swinging Boss Man Slam. Irie’s top rope splash gets two but Gresham is right back with a hurricanrana for two of his own. The sleeper is broken up again and this time Irie hits a Cannonball in the corner. A standing Lionsault makes Irie roll to the floor, allowing Gresham to hit the running flip dive.

The Shooting Star gets two back inside and it’s time to trade forearms again. Gresham hits a pair of sliding lariats but a running backbreaker gives Irie two of his own. Another dive to the floor has Irie in trouble and Gresham grabs the sleeper outside. The hold stays on as they roll back inside with Irie passing out to give Gresham the win at 8:00.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t great but egads it was a breath of fresh air after everything that I’ve had to sit through in the last hour and a half. Gresham is one of the best technical guys in the world right now and Irie is someone who is likely going to get a regular job out of this weekend after his very solid performances. Good main event, which was exactly what the show needed.

Overall Rating: D. Oh yeah I get the negative reception. The wrestling was watchable enough but they felt like they were trying to cram in every single thing that they could, which just didn’t work. There’s no blow away match here and ending with a random match instead of the title match (Page was likely booked elsewhere so it makes sense) didn’t help. This was easily the worst show I’ve seen this weekend from a structure standpoint and packing everything together was the fatal downfall.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WrestlePro

Does Funny = Money?
Date: April 3, 2019
Location: Rahway Recreation Center, Rahway, New Jersey
Commentators: David Sturchill, McKenzie Mitchell

This is from WrestlePro, a promotion I’ve heard about before but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a full show. From the description, it seems like it’s going to be a comedy show and that’s appropriate given that it’s the first show of Wrestlemania weekend. Hopefully the show has some redeeming value to it, but I’m not getting my hopes up. Let’s get to it.

As usual: I have no idea what’s going on around here so if I miss storyline/character stuff, I apologize in advance.

The host tries to introduce the first match but McKenzie Mitchell (former Impact backstage interviewer) interrupts. She thinks the host needs a co-host and a fan poll convinces him to let her.

Bobby Wayward vs. Kikutaro

Kikutaro is a Japanese comedy guy in a weird looking mask. Wayward takes him up against the ropes for a clean break and Kikutaro applauds his politeness. Kikutaro does the same and it’s off to an exchange of shoulders. Some armdrags into an armbar has Wayward in trouble until he pulls Kikutaro throat first into the top rope. Hang on though as Kikutaro wants time out. Ever the scoundrel, Wayward stomps him down anyway as the slow pace continues.

With nothing else working, Kikutaro whips the referee into Wayward in the corner. The low blow behind the referee’s back has Wayward in more trouble but he’s fine enough to do the same to Kikutaro. There’s a low blow to the referee as well and everyone is grabbing….yeah. Kikutaro Hulks Up and gets kicked in the face to Hulk him back down. Wayward grabs a fisherman’s suplex for two but the referee collapses before three. The referee gets whipped into the corner but Kikutaro reverses it and the referee clotheslines Wayward. Now the referee DDTs him and a Shining Wizard gives Kikutaro the pin at 9:47.

Rating: D+. Oh I’m in for a long night. This wasn’t exactly my style of wrestling but that’s the point of the show so I should have known what I was getting myself into. Kikutaro doesn’t exactly make me laugh but having him beat up a villain like Wayward is about as good as you were going to get here.

Here’s Dan Lambert (American Top Team owner who showed up in Impact and was the best villain in the company for awhile) with Colby Covington (UFC Champion) and John Harnett to issue a challenge to the locker room. Wrestling today sucks so if Lambert wants to watch good wrestling, he’ll have to watch on YouTube. Lambert lists off some great wrestlers and the fans applaud, which isn’t the best way to go. He was told that WrestlePro was better but after what he’s seen, he knows that his instincts were right: today’s wrestling sucks. Cue Scarlett Bordeaux and we have an answer to the challenge.

Scarlett Bordeaux vs. John Harnett

Scarlett goes straight at him and slaps away in the corner, setting up a running hip attack. An over the back reverse kneeling piledriver finishes Harnett at 55 seconds. Well that proved the point well enough.

Post match Lambert shoves Scarlett down and pulls out a board but Scarlett spears Harnett through it instead.

Pat Buck vs. Santana Jackson

Buck is a big star around here and has a cage around his head. He’s also called the Buzzkiller because he’s beating anyone with any kind of buzz. Buck isn’t having any of Santana’s Michael Jackson dancing (REALLY bad timing with that one) so he tries a test of strength. That’s broken up with more dancing and a dancing top rope wristdrag ticks Buck off so badly that he fires off a clothesline. A spinning Tombstone makes it worse….but Jackson sits up as Thriller starts to play.

Jackson hits a Stunner into a dancing People’s Elbow but Buck gets serious. In something a little different, Jackson grabs Buck’s hand and makes him punch himself low, which technically isn’t illegal. The Moonwalk DDT gets two and Buck bails to the floor, setting up a suicide dive (with Jackson losing a shoe). Buck carries him back inside for an AA over the top, setting up something close to the One Winged Angle (pulling the arm instead of lowering the head) for the pin at 6:14.

Rating: C. Now that was a little more like it as Jackson’s stuff was actually funny at times, with the Thriller bit being an actually good gag. Buck winning is the better move of course as you rarely want a comedy guy going over a top star but at least they did something good here with Jackson getting some strong reactions.

Johnny Clash vs. Anthony Bowens vs. Jake Manning vs. Matt Macintosh

Clash is the Create-A-Pro Champion though I don’t think the title is on the line. The same seems to be true of Macintosh’s WrestlePro Gold Title. Manning brings his tent with him because we need a prop that big. The tent is in the middle of the ring but Macintosh (The Bad Apple. Get it?) throws it out so they can, you know, wrestle. Macintosh sends Manning into the post as Clash and Bowens fight in the ring.

Macintosh’s jumping knee to the head rocks Bowens and he gets tied in the Tree of Woe for a boot to the crotch. Macintosh: “HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES???” Manning grabs a headlock and reads the scout manual, which has Mackenzie wondering what passage he’s picked. Back up and Macintosh keeps running the ropes as Manning has stepped aside to read in peace. Bowens is back up with a low superkick to Clash but Manning has found….a rope? Clash gets tied up and then untied for some dizzifying effects.

Manning makes it even worse with an airplane spin and then Bowens adds one of his own. A collision puts Bowens and Clash down and it’s time to throw the tent in again. Everyone but Manning gets thrown in and he zips it shut….but gets pulled in as what seems to be a struggle ensues. The fans call it awesome, because this is a shaking tent crowd. Clash dives over the top onto Bowens and Macintosh dives onto both of them.

Manning throws the tent onto them and while he can carry it by himself, three people can’t manage to have it dropped all of a foot and a half onto their raised arms. Back in and Bowens hits a Blockbuster for two on Macintosh with Clash making the save. Manning throws the tent in AGAIN (ok the joke is old now) but Bowens elbows him into it. Manning gets out of the tent and it’s a Tower of Doom through the tent (devastating McKenzie) to give Manning the pin on Macintosh at 10:38.

Rating: D+. The tent was a funny idea but they went back to it over and over to diminishing returns. I was sick of the thing at the end and the whole thing would have been better off if it was about two minutes shorter. The wrestlers were fairly talented though and I could see them moving up to bigger promotions later on. Maybe not Manning as he’s a rather gimmicky character, but the other three have a chance.

Team Tremendous vs. Demon Bunny

Team Tremendous is Dan Barry and Bill Carr (both detectives for some reason) while Demon Bunny is Rosemary/Allie, who are apparently best friends outside of the ring. That’s always cool to see. Team Tremendous steals belts from the crowd, along with the Gold Title which was left at ringside from the previous match, and throws them inside. With that out of the way, Barry and Allie start things up.

Allie works on the arm but Barry dances his way into a wristlock. Some armdrags into an armbar have Barry in trouble and it’s off to Rosemary to stay on the arm. The women keep alternating on the arm as this isn’t exactly funny so far. Rosemary pulls his nose so it’s off to the much bigger Carr, who sticks up his fingers like a gun. As Allie surrenders, Rosemary bites the fingers and it’s back to Barry for a dropkick. Carr can’t bring himself to chop Rosemary though so Barry comes in again, this time to get choked over the ropes.

A top rope DDT sends Barry into the corner and the hot tag brings in Allie. Some forearms have no effect on Carr but he misses a charge in the corner, allowing Allie to hit some sliding elbows. Rosemary comes back in and gets planted for her troubles, followed by a reverse Razor’s Edge toss into a Codebreaker to Allie (cool move). That’s broken up at two and the Doomsday Sliced Bread is broken up as well. Rosemary mists Carr and it’s a Codebreaker into a German suplex for the double pin on Barry at 9:35.

Rating: C-. I like Rosemary and Allie but I really don’t get the comedy here. This wasn’t overly funny and could have been on any given show. Team Tremendous come off as a low level team who don’t have a lot of success and probably bragged about how they would win easily here. Not a bad match, but I have no idea why it was on here.

Fifteen minute intermission.

Shawn Donovan vs. Buster Jackson

Bird Box (blindfold) match and Donovan is billed from the fifth floor of Trump Tower. Hang on as the referee is blindfolded as well to make it even more confusing. They take less time to make contact than Jake Roberts and Rick Martel but Jackson ducks away and Donovan yells at the turnbuckle. Jackson takes him down and hammers away as the announcers spoil Bird Box. The referee has barely left the corner as Donovan gets knocked down but comes right back with a slam.

Donovan grabs the referee, who hiptosses him in self defense. A shoulder puts Jackson on the floor and Donovan follows as Jackson gets back in. Not being able to figure out what’s going on, Donovan grabs a chair and hits the post (ala Roberts vs. Martel) before getting back in as well. Donovan finally gets smart and takes his blindfold off but he’s insane (ala the movie) and tries a Swanton with no one on the mat. Jackson covers and, after the referee crawls over (how he knew there was a cover isn’t clear) and checks the shoulders, counts the pin at 6:50.

Rating: F. And that’s supposed to be funny? This was another dumb idea that just kept going despite being a short match. It’s the same problem any match with this gimmick has and there’s no way around it. This isn’t something that works and it was just stupid instead of entertaining or funny. Also, if you haven’t seen Bird Box (which came out a few months ago and isn’t a big deal anymore), this made no sense at all, especially the ending.

Gauntlet Match

When did gauntlet matches become the hottest thing in wrestling? Grim and Freddie IV (pronounced I V, not Four/Fourth) are in first and the Shook Crew (Bryce Donovan and Max Caster with Bobby Orlando) are in second. Freddie is a hippie and keeps giving people flower necklaces but uses one to pull Caster down to get us started. A double hanging suplex (including a limbo) has Caster in trouble so it’s off to Donovan (Two wrestlers on the roster named Donovan?), who gets chopped by the bigger Grim. We get the required Stink Face and Freddie comes in to drop a backsplash on Caster for a bonus.

A big legdrop gets two and Grim does the Whale (a heavy version of the Worm, consisting of dropping down, standing up and dropping down again), sending the Crew out to the floor. Back in and Grim is so winded that he collapses into the corner for the tag to Freddie. A low blow into a rollup with tights gives Donovan the pin at 4:14.

The Breakfast Club (CPA/Kip Francis Stevens) are in third and thankfully they come out to Don’t You Forget About Me (as they should). Once they get to the ring, Caster has laid out cones to create a safe space (because that’s a thing Caster does). It’s a ruse though (Gee you think?) as Orlando is taking Donovan’s place. Orlando hits Caster by mistake and we get the stupid spot of Orlando DDTing Caster by mistake because he can’t just let go.

We go wide and see Grim still out cold due to exhaustion as the match continues. Things settle down to Orlando suplexing CPA for two and Caster grabbing a chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry and the villains are knocked into the corner in a Human Centipede pose. The hot tag brings in Stevens for a bunch of clotheslines, including one to the freshly conscious Grim. CPA goes to the apron for a dive, followed by a big one from Kip to knock everyone down. Back in and a Hart Attack gets rid of the Crew at 10:08.

Naturally they beat down the Club until Massage Force (Yes MASSAGE FORCE. Dorian Graves and VSK because all you need are initials instead of a full name these days.) is in fourth. The Club gets neck massages until a double rollup gets a double near fall. We settle down to Graves (the masked man, oddly enough) rubbing Stevens’ neck before it’s off to VSK, who gets a massage from Graves. It’s good enough to bring in CPA for two off a missile dropkick.

Another Hart Attack misses so CPA has to hit a suicide dive on Graves instead. Back inside and VSK kicks Stevens in the face for two, followed by a Backstabber for the same. Massage Force wants the oil and it’s VSK sliding across Graves’ back (just go with it) for a headbutt to Stevens’ crotch. A Shatter Machine gets rid of the Club (Why are an accountant and a guy in business casual called the Breakfast Club?) at 17:17.

Job Security (Big Malcolm and Officer Ronald) are in fifth and try to beat the fun out of Massage Force. The World’s Greatest Tag Team’s jump over your partner onto someone’s back gets two on VSK but it’s quickly back to Graves to massage Ronald. A Swanton/reverse DDT combination hits Malcolm and it’s more oil so Malcolm can get sent into Ronald’s crotch. Another Shatter Machine gets rid of Job Security at 21:18.

KM and Fallah Bahh are in sixth and you can tell these two are rather popular here. They seem to like McKenzie, who sounds touched. Bahh puts VSK in a front facelock and adds a splash….before oiling up KM’s back. The slide is more of a crushing this time and everything breaks down. KM and Bahh both roll over Massage Force and they make the referee do it too. That’s not good enough though as they have McKenzie do it as well. A Banzai Drop finishes VSK at 28:22.

And just in case we haven’t gone over the edge already, the BWO (Nova/Blue Meanie) is in seventh. KM works on Nova’s arm for a good while to start, with the announcers wondering how many times a single arm can be turned around. Nova is back with a big boot that knocks KM out of the ring and up the ramp to the stage. Back in and KM wants Meanie….and then tags out to Bahh for the sumo wrestling collision. They argue over NO NO NO/YES YES YES and it’s Meanie tickling Bahh.

Everyone but Meanie head outside and the big dive is teased, sending the three of them running around the building in fear. Bahh runs so far away that he gets counted out at 37:12. KM asks where Bahh went because he’s riding Bahh’s coattails on TV. KM: “I’m his Marty Jannetty! I need him!” Bahh comes back with hot dogs….for everyone in the ring!

As they eat, Team Espana (Jos A and Jos B, the Tag Team Champions and thankfully with labeled shirts) are in eighth as the final team. Meanie gets beaten down in the corner but it’s off to Nova to throw the right hands. Everything breaks down and Nova’s suplex to B is broken up as A pulls the foot, allowing B to fall on top for the pin at 42:42.

Rating: D-. The only thing I learned from this is that the WrestlePro tag division is awful with some very goofy teams. I was rather bored with most of this because most of the teams barely stand out from the others and they seem to have one note gimmicks at best. I’ll give some credit to KM and Bahh though: they looked like stars compared to the other teams, though that’s not saying much. Crazy long here and there had to be a team or two that could be cut.

The BWO gets cheered out of the ring.

Dan Maff vs. Swoggle

Street fight. Maff weighs over 300lb and is kind of a legend around here. Swoggle brings in his own weapons and they talk trash to start. Some chairs are set up in the middle and they sit down in front of each other for a slap fight at the opening bell. Swoggle gets the better of it until Maff stands up and kicks him down.

The weapons are brought in and it’s a stepladder to Maff’s back. The trashcan goes over his head and Swoggle beats on him with a kendo stick and there’s a big shot to the head, which just annoys Maff even more. An even bigger trashcan shot to the head drops Swoggle and it’s time for the barbed wire chair. Swoggle pours out the building blocks (they’re not Legos) because that’s the big thing these days.

The staple gun doesn’t work for Maff as Swoggle bites him and staples his crotch. A Stunner gives Swoggle two and it’s a side slam onto the blocks. Swoggle kendo sticks him off the top and blasts Maff with the barbed wire chair for two. Maff shrugs it off and loads up the Burning Hammer but lets Swoggle down. Swoggle flips him off though and hits a low blow, setting up a small package for two. That’s it for Maff, who wraps the ladder around Swoggle’s head and pulls back like a camel clutch for the tap at 8:53.

Rating: D+. This was actually tolerable, though just having Swoggle in there didn’t make it funny. The spots were your usual hardcore deals, though the ending was good. Swoggle is a lot more than just a comedy act as he works hard and can have a match, which is a lot more than you would expect from him.

They show respect and trade shirts after the match.

Colt Cabana/Santino Marella vs. Heavenly Bodies

That would be Desirable Dustin/Gigolo Justin for this Bodies incarnation. We get the rapid tags before any contact is made with the first lockup coming nearly two minutes in. Justin bails away from the threat of the Cobra so it’s off to Dustin, who gets made fun of for having a large stomach. The threat of the Cobra makes him run away twice as that lockup is about all that has happened so far. Everything breaks down and it’s a power walk from Cabana and Santino, setting up the double Bionic elbows.

We settle down to Justin’s arm getting worked over with Santino climbing to the top but getting nervous and coming off the bottom rope instead. Colt and Santino can’t get their double teams on the same page and jokingly yell at each other. A sunset flip doesn’t work for Colt as Dustin gets the tag but a tag to Santino doesn’t count because he’s not in the corner. Therefore, being clever, Santino extends the tag rope and stands halfway down the apron while still holding the rope.

A belly to back suplex into a moonsault gets two on Cabana (the Flippy Doo) and Colt stays in trouble in the corner. Cabana’s diving tag lands about three feet short so he tries again, this time with Dustin pulling Santino off the apron. Colt finally shrugs off some stomping in the corner and brings in Santino for his usual comeback. The referee gets bumped and Santino loads up the Cobra but Killer Kross runs in to jump him.

Kross does a Rick Rude impression and says he’s here to prove that funny doesn’t equal money because it’s not best for business. He beats up Colt and Santino while mocking comedy wrestling. Cue Joey Ryan of all people but Kross immediately says he’s not going near it. Kross tries the low blow and hurts his leg so Joey hits a dropkick. The lollipop goes into Kross’ mouth for the superkick and it’s time for the Cobra. Hang on though as Cabana puts a sock on his own hand. We get a double You Plex and a pair of Cobras for the double pin at 16:26.

Rating: D+. I really can’t get mad at this as it kind of went exactly as you would expect it to with the run-ins being the right choices. The ending was never in doubt and it was really just a matter of time before the Cobra got the win. It this had been the featured goofy match at the end of a more balanced show it could have worked better, but you can only get so much after this long of a show.

Overall Rating: D. The one thing I’ve learned from this show is why it’s called comedy relief. The idea behind a comedy match is to give you some breathing room after everything gets serious on a show. By having the entire (over three hour long) card be comedy, and in some cases it’s a big stretch to call it such, it’s really hard to stay in the right mood for it.

This didn’t work and while it’s certainly an idea, it isn’t one that works throughout. By the end it felt like a sketch comedy show that had run out of ideas and they were just throwing stuff out there and hoping it was funny. That’s why this kind of an idea doesn’t work. You need a serious match to look forward to because once the jokes stop working, you’re just watching mostly bad matches.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Absolute Intense Wrestling

Slumber Party Massacre
Date: April 4, 2019
Location: White Eagle Hall, Jersey City, New Jersey
Commentators: Matt Wadsworth, The Duke

Who can’t do four full shows in one day anymore? This is another Wrestlemania weekend show and another situation where I have no idea what to expect as I don’t follow Absolute Intense Wrestling. Here’s pretty much everything you need to know: the main event is Scott Steiner vs. Swoggle. We good? Let’s get to it.

No opening sequence, though it might have been cut off.

La Familia de Tijuana vs. Young Studs

Mexican Death Match. La Familia is Bestia 666/Damien 666 and the Studs are Bobby Beverly/Eric Ryan. There are a bunch of forks thrown into the ring and it’s time to go for blood early. I’m thinking I’ve made a mistake with this show. The blood is already flowing from Beverly’s head and it’s time to choke with belts. Ryan gets a chair wrapped around his neck and Damien sends it into the post. Eric is right back with a barbed wire bat to draw blood of his own and it’s time for some doors (they don’t use tables).

A chair gets rammed between Ryan’s legs, followed by the barbed wire being put against his head for some headbutts from Bestia. The Studs’ offense gets them nowhere and it’s a double MuscleBuster for two on Beverly. Ryan throws a chair at Damien to finally get somewhere and Beverly Japanese armdrags Ryan into both of them in the corner. And now, a door covered in forks. That takes a bit too long though and Damien hits a Death Valley Driver to put Ryan through the fork filled door for the pin at 9:34.

Rating: D. Oh yeah I’m not going to be liking this one very much as it’s seemingly trying to be ECW. There was no story mentioned here and it was just four people doing violent stuff to each other. Some of the spots were gruesome enough but there’s only so much you can get out of something like this.

Post match they shake hands and Ryan stabs himself in the head with a fork to a positive reaction.

Dominic Garrini vs. Joshua Bishop

Submission/surrender match. Garrini was on a show earlier today and Bishop (with manager Wes Barker) looks like a cross between Raven and Justin Credible. Garrini doesn’t waste time in kneeing Bishop outside for a double suicide dive. They chop it out as commentary says they don’t quite know why these two hate each other. Well at least they don’t like each other.

Bishop’s kick is caught and Garrini rams the ankle into the post for an F*** NO answer to a question of if he gives up. Bishop gets in a few shots to the ribs and it’s time for railroad spikes with both guys jabbing each other in the head over and over. The bloody Garrini goes for a choke but Barker hits him with a chair. That earns Barker a piledriver on the apron but Bishop chairs Garrini down to take over again.

Another door is set up between some chairs and Bishop powerbombs him through the door and the chairs. Back in and Garrini is alive enough to piledrive Bishop onto a chair for the NO so Garrini hits him with whatever he can find, including a tack covered bat to the face. Some wooden skewers are brought in but Bishop takes them away and drives it into Garrini’s cauliflower ear.

Bishop brings in a bag of tacks but gets front suplexed onto them, setting up a backsplash to make it even worse. Garrini drives the skewers into his head (and they hang there) until Bishop drops him onto the tacks for another no. With nothing else working, Bishop handcuffs Garrini around the post and gets some lighter fluid from Barker. The threat of fire makes Garrini give up at 11:25.

Rating: D+. Well that was sick. It had more of a story than the first match but I have a feeling we’re in for a lot of these matches tonight, albeit with a much more technical match thrown in so they can call themselves a wrestling company. I’m not a fan of this kind of insane stuff and it feels out of the 90s more than anything else.

The students come in to clear out the ring as Garrini is unhooked.

Tag Team Titles: To Infinity and Beyond vs. The Production vs. The Boys From Jollyville vs. The Philly Marino Experience

To Infinity and Beyond (Cheech and Colin Delaney) are defending and I have no idea who anyone else are. The Boys From Jolly (T-Money/Nasty Russ Myers) are also known as the Jollyville F***-Its, the Experience (Philly Collins and Marino Tenaglia seemingly the most popular team here) dance a lot and the Production (Derek Director and Eddie Only) seem like they make movies. Marino dives off the top on the champs and it’s T Money spinning Collins around so Myers can punch him in the face.

The Production’s manager Danhauser comes in and helps beat up Experience, who pops up for some double teaming. The champs come back in and clear the ring setting up a suicide dive from Cheech. Not to be outdone, Myers moonsaults onto everyone but gets caught. Philly goes up as well and moonsaults the pile down.

Sunset Dreams hits Colin for two with the Production diving in for the save. The huge Money Pounces Derek to the floor and busts up Philly’s spine. Russ mostly misses a moonsault for no cover on Derek, leaving Money to dive on everyone. Myers hits a top rope splash on Eddie Only (Derek’s partner) but Colin makes a save with a bad Stunner. Back up and it’s a Codebreaker/hanging DDT to the Producers at the same time. Another Codebreaker to Derek, with Cheech holding him in place for a superbomb from Colin, driving Eddie onto Derek for the pin at 6:58.

Rating: C-. It was certainly fast paced, though again I have no idea who most of these people are, who I’m supposed to cheer for (apparently not the guy in a Toy Story jacket) but that’s not what matters in something like this. A place like AIW is all about cramming in as much stuff as you can into the time you have and not worrying about any kind of flow or storytelling. I get the idea and this was the best thing so far, but it’s much more exciting than good, which can get old after awhile.

Post match the champs tell the fans to shut up and yell about any REAL teams who want to come see them in Cleveland. In other words, this is the only real wrestling.

Eddie Kingston vs. Shinjiro Otani

Otani is a Japanese legend, making me wonder if he got lost coming here. Kingston gets taken down by the arm to start and Otani slaps on a headlock that Eddie can’t break. They go with the loud chop off with Eddie being knocked down into the corner for a very delayed Facewash. A Broski Boot makes it even worse and Otani does it again, kicking his young boys down in the process. It works so well that Otani does it again….and then a third time.

It’s finally enough for two before Eddie gets up and starts in on the knee. Otani’s chops are cut off by another kick to the leg and we hit a half crab. After the grab of a rope gets Otani out, Eddie kicks the leg out all over again, setting up the spinning Backfist to the Future for two. Otani is right back up with a legsweep and a German suplex into a lariat for the pin at 9:47.

Rating: C. Well that was better than I expected, which has nothing to do with the match being an actual wrestling match instead of some violent brawl. Otani is a cool get for the show as he was wrestling all the way back in 1992 (and at Starrcade 1995) so it was cool to see something like this. Not a great match (Otani’s leg being fine out of nowhere was a stretch) but after everything else, I’ll take what I can get.

Post match Kingston praises Otani in Japanese.

Swoggle vs. Scott Steiner

Duke has been replaced on commentary by Colin Delaney. Steiner comes out but says cut his music, because he has some special music for this match. That would be….Short People by Randy Newman. Swoggle flips him off as Steiner conducts the crowd in a funny bit. Steiner swears a lot and rants about being politically correct before ripping into Swoggle with a variety of names that would be censored elsewhere.

He’s too good to face Swoggle here so Steiner has brought in his own short guy: Cabana Man Dan, who hits Swoggle with a flip flop. The German suplexes have Dan in trouble and Swoggle makes him tap to the Recliner. A woman who came out with Steiner gets in the ring so Swoggle kisses her, drawing Steiner in to blast him and get things going. Steiner sends him outside but Swoggle finds a beer to spit in Steiner’s face.

That just earns him a chair to the back and one near the head. Steiner swears a lot and hits him with another chair but it’s Dan’s turn to go inside. Dan spanks Swoggle with the flip flop….and Steiner beats Dan up too. Some belly to belly suplexes send Dan outside but Swoggle is up with a double middle finger. That means a Steiner Line and a belly to belly for two with Steiner pulling him up.

Rating: B. Well what else were you expecting here? I’ll give them some major, major points for actually making this something other than straight comedy and not having Swoggle win for the sake of a feel good moment. This was much more entertaining than it had any right to be (consider who was in there for a second) and I had a good time with it. Well done for a match that should have been an even bigger joke.

Maxwell Jacob Friedman/Ethan Page vs. Colt Cabana/Space Monkey

I know these people! You knew Cabana would be all over this weekend and that’s not a bad thing. Hang on a second as Page says Cabana needs to let his son be his (as in Page’s) partner. Cabana says deal so here’s….MJF for the match in I’m guessing an angle that they’re not bothering to explain. The fans sing YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE, presumably at Friedman, again in something that isn’t explained here.

Monkey shrugs it off and starts cleaning house but Page breaks up the monkey flip. A delayed vertical suplex drops Monkey and it’s off to MJF to stand on the tail. And now, just because, a tail lock. Monkey isn’t having that and it’s off to Cabana for elbows and a spinning spinebuster. MJF jumps on Cabana’s back and rants about Cabana being his father but gets taken down into the Billy Goat’s Curse for the tap at 7:45.

Rating: D+. I shouldn’t be left with a confused look on my face after a match but that’s what we had here. They could have explained the story here but that’s not as important as yelling laughing at Colt’s shtick. The joke seemed funny, but when you’re stuck trying to figure out what’s going on, it doesn’t exactly have the same impact.

Mance Warner vs. Nick Gage

Dang it this wasn’t on the card so it’s an extra match. Warner comes out to Simple Man, making him more awesome than usual. It’s just a cover but a heck of a well done one for a great entrance. Gage gets a hero’s welcome here and they go right with the fighting as this isn’t going to be anything but violence. Both guys get rammed into various things and it’s a chair across Gage’s back.

They fight up to the stage and trade shots to the face until Warner gets thrown off the stage. Gage bites the head and brings Warner and a chair back in but takes a running knee to the head for two. A bulldog onto Cage’s arm onto the chair keeps Gage in trouble but Warner takes too long on the lariat, allowing Gage to DDT him onto a chair. There’s the chokebreaker and a Broski Boot to drive a chair into Warner’s face. Warner’s manager Duke comes in and chairs Warner by mistake, earning a chair shot from Gage. Colin: “See Duke? Now you’re a dead person.”

Gage bridges another door between two chairs but gets chokeshoved off the middle rope through said door for two. A piece of the door hits Warner in the head but he pops up with a pair of lariats for two more. Gage is right back with back to back piledrivers onto a door into a powerbomb for the pin at 11:39.

Rating: C-. The lack of blood helped this a lot as it was more about two hardcore guys hitting each other. I never need to see another weapon shot to the head again and Gage isn’t a wrestler, but that’s not the point of something like this. I’ve really enjoyed what I’ve seen and heard from Warner though and it helped having him here a lot.

Post match Gage thanks the fans and promises to quit when the people stop cheering him, throwing in a small ton of F bombs along the way.

Absolute Title: Pretty Boy Smooth vs. Tim Donst vs. Matthew Justice vs. Tom Lawlor

Smooth is defending and Justice’s Intense Title isn’t on the line. Lawlor has never been pinned in singles competition and dances around the ring for a rather different presentation than you get in MLW. Lawlor is introduced as the 2005 Bob Evans pie eating champion. Smooth is a giant and probably stands about 6’8/9. Everyone goes after Smooth to start but he’s right back up and throws everyone around without much trouble.

Lawlor takes him down and grabs a Figure Four but throws in an ankle lock on Justice for a bonus. Donst makes the save before using Lawlor as a launchpad for an elbow on Smooth. Justice is back up with the suicide dives, plus a running elbow off the apron to send Lawlor into some chairs. Lawlor is right back up and chops it out with Justice, who gets the better of it. A big dive onto the floor takes out everyone for the major crash.

Back in and Justice gets crotched on top, setting up a heck of a superplex. Donst isn’t done and suplexes Justice into the other two for a near fall. Everyone gets a suplex from Donst, who collapses after throwing everyone. Justice is up first and goes Coast to Coast to hit Lawlor, who is then backdropped onto Justice and Smooth. Back in and it’s a series of rollups for two each before it’s a four way slugout from their knees. Donst’s Drunken Driver (Jay Driller) gets two on Justice as this just keeps going.

Smooth’s Call the Coroner chokebomb gets two on Lawlor so it’s time to throw in a bunch of chairs. Six of them are set up in a row but it’s Donst coming in and laying out Smooth. An STO plants Lawlor and a Drunken Driver through the chairs gets two more. The Rings of Saturn (Donst is billed as a mat wrestler and this is some of the first mat wrestling I’ve seen) go on and Justice’s chair shots can’t break it up. A third finally does it and Lawlor is up again, this time grabbing a choke on Smooth for the knockout win at 18:36.

Rating: D+. This was long and came at the end of a long night so it was kind of a chore to sit through. I have no idea why these people are fighting and that has been a problem all night long. Lawlor winning seems to be the smartest move as he’s the only one with any kind of a story. There were some good spots here but for the most part it just went on too long and had WAY too many kickouts.

Post match Lawlor thanks the company for giving him a chance about two years ago. The fans don’t really want to hear this and boo rather loudly. A year ago, he broke his arm in this company and rushed back but didn’t get a title shot. He got it tonight and showed AIW that he’s the best. Lawlor has a beer to end the night.

Overall Rating: D. I think the term “not for me” applies here as I wasn’t into almost any of this. It felt like an ECW knockoff (not all night, but for a lot of it) and that’s not something I was interested in with the ECW talent, let alone a place like this. It was FAR from the worst show I’ve ever seen but I had no idea what the stories were and since the announcers didn’t bother to tell me, you can only really go off of the product itself. That wasn’t very good either and the show felt very long. Not a disaster, but also certainly not worth as much as the WrestleCon Supershow or WXW. I likely won’t be back.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Major League Wrestling

Fusion #31
Date: November 16, 2018
Location: Cicero Stadium, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Rich Bocchini, Tony Schiavone

It’s time for a fresh taping cycle as the company makes its Chicago debut. The main event tonight is Sami Callihan vs. Tom Lawlor in a Chicago street fight as Lawlor continues his march towards the World Title shot in February. Other than that it could be almost anything, which is one of the areas where MLW shines. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Low Ki ripping Daga’s ear apart (egads) to retain the World Title last week.

Konnan arrives and is greeted by Low Ki, Salina de la Renta and Ricky Martinez. Low Ki talks about adding Daga’s ear to his trophy case. Now he wants something from Konnan though, because Konnan hasn’t gotten the idea just yet. Real men settle their differences differently around here and Low Ki challenges him to a fight. Konnan says Low Ki knows better because he’s retired. Salina taunts him a bit and Konnan seems a little more intrigued. He leaves and Low Ki smiles, saying they’ll get Konnan to do it soon. This could go somewhere, if nothing else just to see who Konnan pulls out to fight for him.

Opening sequence.

Lawlor isn’t worried about Low Ki and Callihan. Tonight, he’s taking care of Callihan before moving on to the title.

Ricky Martinez vs. Dr. Rex Bacchus

Martinez has to wrestle in a face shield due to a broken nose. As the referee is taking care of Ricky’s jacket, a headbutt with the mask drops Rex and it’s off to the Madison Rayne hip thrust faceplants on the mat. Bacchus gets in a few kicks but Ricky slaps him in the back and hits an electric chair faceplant. A wheelbarrow suplex sets up a Dominator piledriver (kind of cool) to finish Bacchus at 1:59.

Lawlor is warming up with Simon Gotch, who Lawlor wants out there with him tonight. They’ll have a press conference after the win.

Dirty Blonds vs. Size Matters

That would be Joey Ryan/Swoggle, but Joey has a torn pec and won’t be able to do much. The fans chant HAPPY BIRTHDAY at Joey (a day late but close enough), who delivers his blow pop to a fan. Swoggle pulls out a huge lollipop for a fan as well and it’s time to discuss the injury. Joey has heard that torn pecs are going around at the moment and while he hasn’t seen a doctor yet, he wasn’t going to miss a show in Chicago.

The Blonds jump them to start and Joey gets knocked to the floor, as you had to expect early on. Swoggle gets choked in the corner and Brien punches Joey off the apron. With Brien holding him by the chin, Swoggle pops him with a right hand and manages a German suplex. Ryan comes in for some one armed offense as everything breaks down. Swoggle knocks Patrick down in the corner for a running hip attack but gets run over in the corner. Everything breaks down and Joey pulls out the blowpop for Sweet Tooth Music, setting up a tadpole splash to give Swoggle the pin at 3:27.

Rating: D. I get that Joey is injured and can’t do anything. That’s understandable and there’s nothing else he can do about that. That being said, what in the world is the point in having the Blonds lose here? They haven’t won anything in forever and I liked them from the start. Now they’re losing a comedy match clean in just a few minutes? I really don’t get this and don’t care for it either.

Post match Ryan takes off the sling to show off a horrible looking bruise. Joey: “At least I still have my d***.” He’s probably going to need surgery but he’s so glad he got to wrestle in Chicago one more time. The more I see of this, the more I think it should have just been for the live audience only. They couldn’t fill in this five to six minute block with something else?

Sami Callihan is willing to do Promociones Dorado’s bidding if they keep paying him. MVP is still wasting away in a boiler room in Florida. Shane Strickland was injured before his title match. Jimmy Havoc was sent back to England. It’s going to be the same with Tom Lawlor because Sami isn’t scared of a UFC fighter. He’s scared of himself and what he’s going to do in a street fight. This is Sami’s world because he is MLW.

Battle Riot II is coming on Wrestlemania weekend. The first one wasn’t bad so I can go for this.

Konnan held a press conference and says he’s coming out of retirement because he’s tired of Salina and Low Ki. He knows he’ll be the underdog and shouldn’t win. But what happens when he beats Low Ki?

Rundown for the two Miami shows.

Rush is coming in three weeks.

Next week is the Thanksgiving special with Low Ki defending against Shane Strickland.

Strickland won’t answer any questions.

Tom Lawlor vs. Sami Callihan

Street fight so Sami throws the weapons inside during his entrance. Lawlor is in street clothes and they start fighting in the aisle. A running kendo stick shot misses and Lawlor slaps on the rear naked choke on the floor. That’s broken up and the first trashcan shot puts Lawlor down. Callihan throws a piece of the barricade at him and someone keeps honking a horn.

They take turns hitting each other with a trashcan with Lawlor getting the better of it and kicking away at the chest. Some chair shots keep Callihan in trouble and he wraps one around the arm for a Kimura. They fight on the apron with Callihan hitting a piledriver, followed by some chair shots to the back. It’s table time but Lawlor escapes a powerbomb and grabs an ankle lock.

Callihan grabs the barricade but gets put underneath the barricade, which Lawlor shakes to really hurt him. A fan has a USE MY SIGN sign and Lawlor does just that onto Callihan’s head. Callihan is fine enough to send him into the barricade but Lawlor is right back with a Superman punch. Since they’re trading moves, Callihan hits a Death Valley Driver through the table to take over again. With Lawlor down, Sami grabs a railroad spike….and a VHS tape? He drops the tape (most of us did years ago) and puts the spike in Lawlor’s mouth to draw some blood.

To get extra violent, Sami uses the sign to cut Lawlor’s mouth even worse. It’s back to the VHS, which Callihan breaks, and uses the tape to choke away. Lawlor fights out and gets another table, but a powerbomb is countered with a low blow. Callihan hits a piledriver for two and finds the baseball bat. That takes too long as well so Lawlor hits a low blow of his own. Callihan fires off some headbutts but charges into a powerbomb. Lawlor breaks the baseball bat over his knee and the choke goes on. Being driven through the table doesn’t break it up and Lawlor adds a stab with the broken bat to make Callihan tap at 18:19.

Rating: B. They beat each other up well and it felt like they wanted to hurt each other, which is exactly the point of something like this. Lawlor winning is the right call of course as he keeps rolling over everyone on his way to the title shot. It’s still a long way off but he’s beaten almost every big name. I’m not sure who that leaves him to defend against once he wins the title, but at least he’s becoming a major star in the process.

Post match Gotch takes him to the back for the press conference….and it’s Low Ki, Martinez and LA Park, with Gotch closing the door as the beating ensues. You could see this one coming a mile away and it still worked well.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a one match show and that carried most of the show. Lawlor is practically a full on face and that’s going to help him more than anything else. You couldn’t hang on to him as a heel that much longer so it’s the right move to switch him over like this. The ending angle gives him a mini feud with Gotch as we move on towards the showdown with Low Ki. The rest of the show ranged from just there to bad, but at least the big story worked well.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6