Christmas Carnage
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect, Michael Hayes, Bobby Heenan, Jerry Lawler

This is the Christmas week contribution from the WWE Vault and that could have some possibilities. WWE has often done something over Christmas and it should be interesting to see what they have brought out of mothballs. There are quite a few options here and some of them are worth a look so let’s get to it.

From Smackdown, December 22, 2006.

Batista is in the ring and Santa Claus comes out with gifts for the fans. Michael Cole even gets a Roddy Piper DVD and shirt (not shown, but that’s what someone with notes from Smackdown from 2006 are for)…but then Santa hits Batista in his bad arm with a pipe. Cue Teddy Long to give Santa a match with Batista.

Batista vs. Santa Claus

Batista’s World Title isn’t on the line and Long might not be the nicest guy to have Batista in the match when he’s already hurt. Santa goes after the bad arm and slams it into the apron for two. Batista drives him into the corner but charges into a boot to the bad arm. A backdrop (looked like a mistimed spinebuster) sets up a spear and the beard comes off to reveal…Sylvan. The spinebuster and Batista Bomb finish at 1:41.

From Superstars, December 23, 1995.

Xanta Klaus vs. Scott Taylor

Yeah this had to be here. Xanta is better known as Balls Mahoney, is from the South Pole, and likes to steal presents. Some hard forearms, a belly to back suplex, and a camel clutch finish for Xanta at 1:31. The match was so short that I didn’t have time to mention Xanta’s manager, Ted DiBiase, doing a split screen interview and promising that the Million Dollar Champion is coming. This was the only match for Xanta, because….well how much of a shelf life was he going to have?

From Monday Night Raw, December 20, 1999.

Mankind is not happy about having to face Santa Claus in a Boiler Room Brawl because he doesn’t want to have to punch the rosy cheeks or kick him in the stomach that shakes like a bowlful of jelly. Cue the Mean Street Posse to jump him and send him into the boiler room, which has him rather disturbed to officially start things off.

Mankind vs. Santa Claus

Santa is in fact in the boiler room and Mankind isn’t sure what to do about this. Santa doesn’t want to put Mankind on the bad list so Mankind offers to let Santa walk out and win in peace. That works for Santa but three other Santas jump Mankind. He’s fine with fighting them and finds a well placed garbage can and some frying pants (in their bag of toys).

The three of them are down but two more are waiting on him and these two happen to be the New Age Outlaws, who have some better luck. Mankind fights back against the two of them like he’s in Championship Mode in No Mercy (SOCKO!) and grabs a mirror, naturally singing about chestnuts roasting on an open fire in the process. Another Santa knocks the mirror into his face to shatter it…and since it’s HHH, he tells Mankind to suck it and leaves to win at 3:34.

Rating: C. What in the world do you want me to say about this? It felt like some weird comic book scene with the collection of Santas coming at Mankind, who was almost fighting his nightmare scenario come to life. Like so much from this era, it wasn’t so much a match as a segment with brawling, but this did work for what it was supposed to be.

From Monday Night Raw, December 23, 2012.

Good Santa vs. Bad Santa

YES! This is the one I was hoping would be on here. Here we have a 400lb wig splitting World’s Strongest Santa vs. the Intellectual Santa of the Masses in a battle to save Christmas. The good one hits the bad one in the head to start and opens a package to find a toilet. Bad Santa goes face first into said toilet and they head outside, where the bad one finds a fire extinguisher….which doesn’t work.

The good one takes the pin out and sprays the bad one as commentary argues over whether Santa’s suit is fireproof or Santa himself. The bad one finds a Singapore candy cane to beat on the good one and wreck the (awesome) Christmas decorations, which is just too far for the good one. They fight back to ringside, with the bad one taking a present to the back. The bad one STILL can’t get the fire extinguisher to work so the good one sprays him again, setting up the World’s Strongest Slam (which Cole dubs the Sleigh Ride) for the pin at 3:20.

Rating: A+. I’m a Christmas fanatic and I remember loving this match live. It still holds up today as they absolutely knew the assignment and had a comedy brawl which didn’t overstay its welcome. That’s exactly what wrestling should be at times and it worked very well, with Henry being lovable and Sandow being the snob. Great stuff.

Post match Henry pulls out some cupcakes (he approves) and slams them into Sandow’s face. JBL: “Jimmy Stewart is rolling over in his grave right now.”

From Monday Night Raw, December 23, 2019.

We’re near the streets of New York City, where Santa Claus sends R-Truth over to his sled and then jumps Akira Tozawa to win the 24/7 Title. Of note: Santa was played by future AEW star Bear Bronson.

From Wrestling Challenge, November 27, 1993.

Doink The Clown is brought out for an interview, where he is told that there can only be ONE Doink in the WWF. Apparently he has drawn the ire of Bam Bam Bigelow and Luna Vachon, but he doesn’t care because he loves Christmas. Cue Santa Claus to hug Doink, who started off badly but has gotten a lot better. His present is in the bag, and it’s……a mini Doink! Actually that won’t work, as there can only be ONE Doink….so we’ll just call him Dink! Yeah sure why not. Dink leaves in a wagon and Heenan hopes he goes to play on the interstate.

From a Superstars taping in what looks like late 1992.

We meet Santa’s helpers from the South Pole: a couple of guys who whack their arms around and call each other Cousin Luke and Cousin Butch. They seem to love Christmas and remember their mother singing them Christmas songs (if they’re cousins, why do they have the same…..never mind). The interviewer is licked and toys are dispensed to the fans.

From World Class Championship Wrestling, December 25, 1983.

Michael Hayes dresses up like Santa and jumps the Von Erichs after a tag match. Mike Von Erich gets piledriven.

Overall Rating: B. Again, I love it when they throw in a few curves here and there with some actual interesting moments. Rather than doing a bunch of lame stuff that doesn’t matter, they went with stuff that a lot of fans probably haven’t thought of in a long time and it makes these things so much more fun. I love the Henry vs. Sandow match and the Mankind deal was a nice flashback. This could have been a lot longer but at just shy of thirty minutes, it’s hard to get too annoyed.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: August 10, 2007
Location: Chevrolet Center, Youngstown, Ohio
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re closing in on Summerslam and the main event is set, with Batista challenging Great Khali for the World Title. That may be a problem for Batista, as Khali debuted a Claw hold, which could cause quite the damage. The rest of the card could use some attention though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Batista vs. Domino

They’re starting fast this week and Deuce and Cherry are here with Domino. Batista knees him in the ribs as the smoke from Batista’s pyro is still filling the arena. A suplex gives Batista two but it’s too early for the Batista Bomb. Back up Cherry’s distraction does absolutely nothing as Batista takes Deuce N Domino out with ease. The spear into the Batista Bomb is good for the easy pin. On Domino.

Rating: C-. Total squash and that’s what it should have been. It would have been nice to not see a champion lose this way, but it isn’t like there are any other tag teams worth beating up around here. Batista didn’t break a sweat here and that made for an entertaining enough destruction.

Post match Deuce tries to jump Batista and gets wrecked as well. Great Khali pops up on screen to yell at Batista, who won’t be celebrating at Summerslam. We see a clip of Khali Clawing Ric Flair last week to knock him out.

Here is the returning Rey Mysterio, whose knee surgery must have been a success as he is about four inches taller now. Whoever it is seems to be a big Chavo Guerrero fan because he doesn’t know if Rey can beat Chavo at Summerslam. Or if he can even face Chavo, because Chavo is that amazing. He gets on his knees to beg Chavo to avoid that kind of a beating again but here is Eugene to interrupt.

Eugene vs. “Rey Mysterio”

The fans think Chavo sucks and it’s a headscissors to take Eugene down to start. The 619 misses and believe it or not, it’s Chavo under the mask. Eugene is so offended by the deception that he starts hammering away and hits a Gory Bomb, followed by Three Amigos. The frog splash takes too long though and Chavo moves, allowing him to hit his own for the pin.

Rating: D+. They didn’t bother trying to take this one too far as there is only so much you can get out of this kind of a match. It was also a match where the copying moves made sense, but Eugene is so far beyond meaning anything that it is hard to believe that he was kind of a big thing at one point. Chavo is on his way to the big showdown with Rey and that should work out well for both of them.

Kenny Dykstra kisses Victoria as she is getting her makeup done when Michelle McCool comes in to tell them to get a room. Violence is teased.

Raw Rebound.

Mark Henry vs. Sterling Keenan

Keenan is better known as Corey Graves. Bearhug finishes for Henry in about a minute.

Post match Henry says no one will mess with him because of this, sending us to a video of him attacking Undertaker. As the beating is on, we cut to an Undertaker vignette, with the word “Unforgiven” being heard. Back in the arena, a man in black walks away from the ring and his footprints are rather prominent.

Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria

Jimmy Wang Yang and Kenny Dykstra are here. Victoria jumps her to start and takes it to the floor. That means Yang has to dropkick Dykstra down as Torrie is scared. Back in and the Widow’s Peak finishes Torrie in a hurry.

Post match the beating stays on but Michelle McCool runs in for the save.

We recap Matt Hardy beating MVP in arm wrestling and regular wrestling last week.

Commentary tells us that thanks to the Wellness Policy, MVP found out that he had a heart condition and has had surgery, but will be back in a week.

MVP complains about how his heart was messed up last week but Matt Hardy cheated to beat him anyway. It would usually take someone a year to return but he’ll do it in a week because he is half man and half amazing.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay

Finlay points a finger in his face to start and they take their time to start. A headlock and shoulder have Matt in early trouble so he grabs a headlock of his own. Commentary talks about Mr. McMahon’s illegitimate child (ok fair enough) as Matt hits Finlay in the face for two. Hold on though as Finlay complains of an eye poke, which naturally is a way to sucker Matt in for some uppercuts.

Back up and Finlay charges into a boot in the corner but manages to send Matt hard to the floor. They fight over a ram into the apron so Matt gets posted as we take a break. We come back with Finlay staying on the arm that went into the post, including kicking away at the shoulder. The cranking begins on the arm but the referee is smart enough to see the feet in the ropes. Good of him for doing his job for once.

Back up and Matt hits an elbow to the face, only to get taken down into another armbar. The arm is slammed onto the apron before Finlay goes with the armbar again. Back up and Finlay forearms away in the corner but Matt slugs him down. The middle rope elbow to the back connects and the Side Effect gets two. Finlay fights back but here is Hornswoggle at ringside. Finlay brings him inside but Jamie Noble comes out to chase Hornswoggle off. Finlay goes to rescue Hornswoggle….and it’s a countout.

Rating: C+. This felt like they had set up a joke for seventeen minutes and then forgot the punchline. They set up everything with Hardy’s arm being banged up and then just let it end in the middle of his comeback? Instead of managing to beat Finlay with one arm, it was like they were saying “close enough, we’re done”. This had me really confused and disappointed, even though the rest of it was rather good.

In the back, Jamie Noble asks Kid Kash and Funaki where Hornswoggle is. Finlay comes in and grabs Noble, telling him to stay away from Hornswoggle. Noble says this is three on one….but Kane pops up behind them and beats up Finlay.

Kane vs. Sylvan

Sylvan rants in French until the fire cuts him off. Kane sends him flying into the corner and hammers away without much trouble. The chinlock goes on for a bit but Sylvan cuts off a charge in the corner. Kane hits a big boot though and the top rope clothesline sets up the chokeslam for the easy win.

Post match Finlay runs in and beats Kane down with the shillelagh.

Teddy Long and Vickie Guerrero talk about Teddy’s wedding and gives him some Viagra as a wedding present.

Here is Chris Masters for the Masterlock Challenge to anyone in the crowd. A rather large fan is goaded into it, but says he has played football, wrestled…..and just got out of prison for manslaughter. With that, Masters picks another fan, who he easily beats. I’m still not sure why this is supposed to be interesting, especially after someone already broke the hold.

Batista tells Ric Flair to be careful against Great Khali, but Flair is mad over being rag dolled last week. He’s felt the Claw from other people before and now it is time for a Figure Four on Khali.

Ric Flair vs. Great Khali

Non-title. Flair chops away to start and is tossed to the ground for his efforts. The nerve hold goes on for a good while, followed by the big chop and a big boot. Flair manages a low blow and chops away, with Khali going down to a knee. Then Khali grabs the Claw to finish Flair without much trouble.

Rating: D. This was as good as Khali nerve holding Flair for about a minute and a half was going to be. The Claw is a fine way for someone with Khali’s hands to go, but you need something other than that. The problem is he can’t do much more and this was a bad example of how limited he really is.

Post match the Claw stays on so Batista runs in for the save. Khali Claws Batista down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time Smackdown came up with such a bad show as this was rather awful. There was nothing on here that you would need to see and the best match, between Hardy and Finlay, has one of the more disappointing endings I have heard of in a long time. This didn’t make me want to see Summerslam and it was one of the weakest shows WWE has put on in a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: December 15, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden Arena, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Armageddon and that isn’t exactly giving me hope for this week. The big story this week is Undertaker and Kane vs. MVP/Mr. Kennedy as the two long running feuds merge into one for a change. The rest of the show might not be all that great, but that has never stopped Smackdown before. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Raw’s John Cena to get things going. Cena knows that the question on everyone’s mind is where is Parts Unknown, but they also might be wondering why he is here on Smackdown. He does know that, and it’s because of three reasons. First of all, he lives here, which is why his father is ringside. After a hug to his dad, Cena says there was no way he was going to miss a show here.

It’s Christmas time though and WWE runs a Secret Santa game with its employees. This time around, Cena got Michael Cole, and managed to get him everything he wanted: a salami, a shirtless picture of David Hasselhoff, and a bag of salty nuts. With that gag out of the way, Cena talks about Armageddon (which is his favorite Def Leppard song) and how important the tag team match is going to be.

Cue King Booker and Finlay, who promise to give Cena the same beating they gave to Batista last week. Cena is ready to fight but here is a taped up Batista for the save. Cue Teddy Long to make it a singles match playa, with Cena vs. Finlay set for later, which thankfully means we don’t have another Booker vs. Batista match.

William Regal/Dave Taylor/Gregory Helms vs. Brian Kendrick/Paul London/Jimmy Want Yang

Take two title feuds, throw them into one match. London and Helms start things off with London cranking on an armbar. Kendrick comes in for a front facelock but Regal gets in a cheap shot from behind to take over. Taylor adds a suplex as commentary talks Ashley being more than friendly with London and Kendrick.

It’s off to Regal for some knees and a chinlock, followed by the suplex into the corner. An uppercut knocks Kendrick down again and Helms comes back in for a front facelock. A missed charge lets Kendrick kick Taylor in the head though and the hot tag brings in Yang to clean house. Regal and Taylor have had enough and walk out, leaving Yang to hit a moonsault press for the pin on Helms.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have the time to do much with so many people involved but they did a basic story well enough. Kendrick takes a good beating and it was smart to let Yang get the pin over Helms to suggest even the possibility of a title change. Of course that is pretty much guaranteed to not happen, but it’s a nice way to go here.

Clip from the Armageddon press conference, the high point of many a journalist’s resume.

Matt Hardy vs. Joey Mercury

No seconds here, which is kind of weird to see. Commentary immediately ignores the match to talk about Tribute to the Troops on Christmas night as Mercury takes Hardy into the corner to start. That is broken up in a hurry but Mercury hammers away against the ropes, being a bit more aggressive than usual here. Mercury knocks him down and grabs a chinlock, followed by a neckbreaker for no cover. A knockoff screaming elbow gets two on Hardy, who fights up at the idea of gimmick infringement. Hardy hits a clothesline of his own into the real screaming middle rope elbow and the Twist of Fate finishes Mercury.

Rating: C. I’m not sure how to process the idea of a clean match like this one but it worked out fine. Hardy is the bigger name here and it isn’t like anyone cares about Mercury as a singles wrestler in the first place. That being said, since there isn’t a match set for either of the teams or their individual members, this was a bit of a strange use of Smackdown time.

Video on the history of the Inferno match.

MVP tells his agent to get him out of the Inferno match but here is Mr. Kennedy to interrupt. The argument is on, with the two of them explaining the idea of their matches on Sunday.

MVP/Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker/Kane

MVP gets scared by the fire during his own entrance, which I’m not sure I remember being there before. Kennedy slowly opens the door of the hearse in the aisle and finds nothing, which doesn’t mean much around here. Joined in progress with Kane stomping Kennedy into the corner and then lifting him into the air for the choking. A rake to the eyes allows for the tag off to MVP, who is side slammed down in a hurry. The top rope clothesline makes it even worse and Undertaker comes in to unload in the corner.

Kennedy finally does something worthwhile by offering a distraction to break up Old School and Undertaker gets stomped down for a change. Undertaker is right back with right hands to MVP in the corner though and now Old School connects. Kane tags himself in and the brothers hit some big boots. The double chokeslam plants Kennedy but MVP saves him from the Tombstone. Undertaker stalks MVP to the back as Kennedy and Kane fight on the floor for the double countout.

Rating: C-. This was the teaser trailer for Sunday and that’s all it needed to be. We’ve seen these four fight in various combinations for weeks now and there isn’t much left to do than have the big blowoff matches at the pay per view. I’m glad they didn’t waste time on a long match before the ending either, so while this might not have been very good, it was at least efficient.

Post match Kennedy sends Kane into the steps and gets in the hearse. Kennedy revs the engine but the lights go out, allowing Undertaker to appear in the driver’s seat. That sends Kennedy and MVP running….right into Kane as he sits up for a pretty funny moment. The villains run off in a hurry.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Funaki

Vickie Guerrero is here with Chavo and Funaki gets the jobber’s entrance, likely because he is a jobber. Before the match, Chavo calls out Chris Benoit to apologize for hurting Vickie. Benoit comes out (looking odd in a suit) and says he isn’t apologizing for anything so Chavo beats on Funaki to vent some frustration. A pair of belly to back suplexes have Funaki in trouble and, after shrugging off a few kicks, Chavo plants him with the brainbuster. The frog splash finishes Funaki in a hurry.

Post match Benoit comes in and puts Chavo in the Sharpshooter. Vickie comes in and gets in Benoit’s face, causing him to get up and Vickie to curl up into a screaming ball without being touched.

Video on Tribute to the Troops, set to a Creed song.

Vito vs. Sylvan

Merry freaking Christmas. Cole talks about Vito trying to force himself on him and I think we might need to hear more about that. Vito hammers away to start but gets backdropped to the apron and clotheslined out to the floor. JBL’s jokes continue to abound as Vito makes the comeback, pulls up the dress (thankfully revealing trunks instead of the thong), and drops a leg for two. Vito walks into a Samoan drop but pops up for an O’Connor roll to finish Sylvan.

Rating: D. This was back to the old stuff for Vito, which wasn’t funny in the first place and wasn’t exactly good here either. It is pretty clear that the hype he had is gone, but at least they kept it short. JBL’s jokes and the whole idea have not exactly aged well, but it isn’t like Vito is being treated as a big deal in the first place.

Armageddon rundown.

Here are the Miz and Kristal to prove that Miz is not afraid of Boogeyman. Tonight, he is going to eat some scary foods to show just how fearless he really is. First up, Miz eats some pig’s tongue, followed by monkey brains….but he can’t eat the worms on plate three. Then Boogeyman pops up through the plate to scare them off.

Finlay vs. John Cena

Non-title. Finlay grabs a quick headlock and then runs Cena over with a shoulder. That’s enough to start Cena back up and he runs Finlay down, followed by an elbow. Finlay is right back with a clothesline into a nerve hold, followed by a rip to the face. Cena fights up with a belly to belly for two, only to have Finlay run him over again and send Cena face first into the apron.

As commentary talks about Vince McMahon being the first Irish champion, the Leprechaun pops out and is promptly thrown at JBL. Finlay decks Cena and puts the Leprechaun back underneath the ring as we take a break. Back with Finlay hitting another running clothesline and sitting on Cena’s chest for two. Finlay’s armbar keeps Cena down for a bit and he pulls Cena down into the Fujiwara version to make it even worse.

Back up and Cena wins a strike out but Finlay rakes the eyes to escape the FU. Cena doesn’t seem to mind and hits the ProtoBomb into the Shuffle but Finlay goes back to the bad arm. The Celtic Cross gets two so here’s the Leprechaun again, allowing Finlay to grab a chair. Cena kicks that back into his face though and it’s the FU for the pin.

Rating: B-. Finlay continues his series of good jobs as the upper midcard brawler that bigger stars have a bit of trouble beating. That is a fine spot to be in as Finlay is tough enough to make the matches work without feeling like a threat to jump up to the next level. Good main event here, and it’s rather nice to see the hometown boy get to have a big win for a change. And they even tossed around a leprechaun!

Post match here’s Booker to double team Cena but Batista makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Your taste may vary here as they did a nice enough job building up the pay per view, but the pay per view isn’t that interesting in the first place. It is very clear that the show is going to be built around the two gimmick matches with the main event tag match being thrown in to have a main event level match. This show wasn’t too bad, but it isn’t something you need to see, much like Sunday’s show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Smackdown
Date: December 8, 2006
Location: Florence Civic Center, Florence, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re on the way to Armageddon and the big story is that Raw World Champion John Cena will be joining forces with Smackdown World Champion Batista to face King Booker vs. Finlay. That could make for a big house show match, though they are going to need something a little bigger to make the card work. Would an Inferno match and a Last Ride match be enough? Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Mr. Kennedy to get things going, though he is a little shaken up by the hearse entrance. Kennedy says that Undertaker is not going to get inside his head by having a hearse in the arena. That isn’t going to take his mind off the Last Ride match because he already beat Undertaker at No Mercy and at Survivor Series. He is already inside Undertaker’s head and now he is going to beat Undertaker at Survivor Series. The gong strikes and the hearse starts moving backwards despite no one driving. Undertaker pops out from the back and chases Kennedy off in a hurry.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. William Regal/Dave Taylor

Non-title and Ashley is here with London/Kendrick. Speaking of London and Kendrick, they dropkick the villains off the apron before the bell to start fast. Everyone gets inside so Kendrick can crank on Regal’s arm and London adds a jumping elbow to the jaw. Taylor comes in and gets kicked down by Kendrick as commentary starts talking about Ashley in Playboy.

Regal takes London down and drops a knee on the head but the chinlock doesn’t last long. Instead he snaps off a half nelson suplex for two and Dave comes in for the full version, though minus the suplex. It’s already back to Regal for the chinlock but London fights up and dropkicks his way to freedom. Taylor isn’t about to allow a hot tag though and dives onto London for the save.

Regal comes back in and headlocks London in front of Kendrick, because Regal is great at tormenting people. That takes a bit too long though and London backdrops his way to freedom. The hot tag brings in Kendrick to clean house but Regal goes outside to stalk Regal. London breaks that up and gets a hug, but Regal trips Kendrick down, allowing Taylor to hit the bridging butterfly suplex for the pin.

Rating: C. These guys worked rather well together and it should set up a heck of a title match when they get there. The London/Ashley stuff feels a bit like the Hardys and Lita, which is not the worst place to go, and it isn’t like London and Kendrick have much else to do as champions in the first place. Now just do the rematch and see where it goes from there.

John Cena is ready for Armageddon because he doesn’t like King Booker or Finlay either.

Batista says we’ll never see something like this again and is ready for Finlay tonight.

King Booker wants his title shot but Finlay tells him to wait in line. Booker wants to make sure they are on the same page, but Finlay says Booker talks too much.

Batista vs. Finlay

Non-title. Batista backs him into the corner and smirks a lot on the break. Some right hands and a knee to the face in the corner have Finlay in more trouble and the BATISTA chants start up again. Finlay gets tired of getting hit in the face so he takes Batista down and cranks on a chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry and Batista hits a clothesline, followed by pulling Finlay away from the ropes for a crash. Finlay gets dropped onto and kicked over the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Batista hitting an elbow to the face but getting sent face first into the middle turnbuckle. There’s a rake to the eyes to keep Batista down but he manages to get in a quick shot to the face of his own. A Jackhammer plants Finlay for two and it’s time to work on a hammerlock.

Batista boots him in the face to send us to the floor again, though this time Finlay sends him shoulder first into the post. Back in and Finlay works on the arm with an armbar and then sends it into the buckle. A Fujiwara armbar goes on but Batista powers up into a Samoan drop. Cue the Leprechaun, who is tossed onto Finlay. Now cue King Booker, who is tossed onto the floor but Finlay comes back with the shillelagh for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good while it lasted and the pretty long match time flew by. Batista is getting better at the power game and Finlay can do something like this with anyone. They beat each other up well enough and in this case, the run in made sense as Finlay and Booker are going to need as much momentum as they can to keep the match from looking like the one sided main event that it will be.

Post match the beatdown is on with the villains focusing on Batista’s arm.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Jamie Noble

The winner gets a Cruiserweight Title shot against Gregory Helms, on commentary, at Armageddon. Noble starts fast and hammers away at Yang, including a suplex for two. We’re already on the chinlock as Helms does not seem thrilled with the fact that Yang is “half Asian, half stupid.” Yang comes back with a middle rope kick to the face but runs into a powerslam for two. They slug it out until Yang gets in a hard shot to the face, setting up a moonsault press for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C-. No time here and the win lets Yang have the chance to challenge for the least valuable title in all of WWE. There is no reason to get excited about the title, though at least Helms is finally defending the thing. WWE has done a terrible job of making the title seem like it matters at all so maybe this can help get it back on its feet. Of course it won’t, but I’ll take it for one night.

Chris Benoit denies that he is a woman beater but Vickie Guerrero comes in to slap him. Chavo Guerrero helps her away.

MVP asks Teddy Long how many times he has to beat Kane. Now it’s an inferno match and that is not cool with him. He tries to talk to him, “brother to brother”, but Long says that MVP doesn’t have some kind of contract clause to get out of this but if he doesn’t get in the ring, he’s fired. MVP can call his agent or the Ghostbusters, because next week it’s MVP/Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker/Kane.

Sylvan vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and Benoit chops away, rolls the German suplex, and wins with the Crossface in less than a minute.

Fans are looking forward to things on the See No Evil DVD. I’m expecting a movie to be one of them.

Miz vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Cole and JBL bicker over Miz to start, with JBL seeming to get the better of things as Miz falls outside. Back in and Miz hits a slingshot shoulder for two, which has JBL more behind Scotty. A missed shot in the corner lets Scotty come back with the faceplant. The Worm takes too long though and Miz rolls him up with tights for the pin.

Post match Miz beats on Scotty even more and even tries his own Worm. That’s enough to bring out the suspended Boogeyman to lay Miz out and load up the worms….but Miz bails before he gets messy.

In the spirit of the holiday season, Kane roasts some chestnuts….in his bare hand.

Armageddon run down.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Kane

Before the match, Kennedy promises to beat Undertaker again. Kennedy jumps Kane before the bell but gets knocked down and elbow dropped. Kane hammers away in the corner, setting up a legdrop for two. More shots to the face send Kennedy outside so Kane heads outside to keep up the beating. Kennedy manages to get part of the barricade padding off but Kane hits him in the face again. They head outside again and this time Kennedy manages to dropkick him into the exposed barricade.

That’s good for an eight count so Kennedy plants him with a DDT for two more. The chinlock goes on for a bit until Kennedy sends him into the corner, only to have a running boot to the face countered with a grab of the throat. Some running clotheslines in the corner set up the side slam to plant Kennedy but he’s right back with the swinging neckbreaker. Kane pops back up and knocks Kennedy out of the air, setting up the top rope clothesline. The chokeslam is loaded up but MVP runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what else there was to expect here as much like Batista vs. Finlay earlier, the run in finish made the most sense. Kennedy continues to get to hang with a big name and he wasn’t completely beaten before the DQ. That’s about as good as this was going to be and it worked out fairly well as a main event.

Undertaker, gong, lights out, Kane and Kennedy disappear, fire scares MVP to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They are doing everything they can to set up the pay per view but there is no way around the fact that the main event is little more than a guest star. The two gimmick matches can help the show a bit, but they are going to need more than that to make it work. I don’t think Benoit vs. Chavo (again) and Yang vs. Helms is going to do that, though I’m not sure what else they have to throw on there to make it much better.

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Smackdown
Date: November 10, 2006
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re done with Cyber Sunday and that means it is time to get on the road to Survivor Series. The big story coming out of the pay per view is King Booker not only keeping the World Heavyweight Title but also becoming the Champion of Champions. That means he needs a new challenger and odds are we find that out tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here is Cyber Sunday if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Booker retaining the title thanks to Kevin Federline.

Here are King Booker and Queen Sharmell for a chat. Booker talks about how he kept the title but alas, like Alexander the Great, he has no worlds left to conquer. He lists off some names he has beaten but here is Teddy Long to interrupt. Long brings a bunch of photographers for some photos of Booker because we need to celebrate his victory.

Booker agrees that he defeated everyone when his back was against the wall, but last week there was someone protecting him. That would be Batista, and Long owes him a big favor. As a result, Batista is getting a title shot at Survivor Series, but it might not be against Booker, because he is defending the title right now. Booker: “I’LL SUE YOU!”

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is challenging and drives Booker into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. The Fujiwara armbar goes on to keep Booker in trouble but he fights to his feet. That earns him a clothesline to the floor and we take a break. Back with Booker firing off knees in the corner as we hear about Lashley being on Team Cena at Survivor Series against Team Big Show.

Lashley comes back with the delayed vertical suplex (with JBL saying it reminded him of Rick Rude) but Booker avoids a charge to send Lashley’s shoulder into the post. Booker crotches him against the post for a bonus and a superkick gets two. The armbar stays on the bad arm but Lashley is up in a hurry, meaning Booker has to kick him in the face. Now it’s a shinbreaker to keep Lashley down again and we hit the spinning toehold of all things.

A small package gives Lashley two so Booker clotheslines him right back down. Back up and Booker’s leapfrog is powerslammed out of the air for a heck of a crash and a near fall. Sharmell offers a distraction though and Booker gets in a thumb to the eye. Lashley shrugs that off too but another Sharmell distraction lets Booker roll him up with trunks to retain.

Rating: C+. This was a bit rushed but they did their thing well enough. Booker cheating to win makes sense but it isn’t like Lashley was going to get the title so soon after Booker had his big win on Sunday anyway. I had fun with it and Booker did everything he could to make Lashley’s offense look great. That’s how you make someone look better in defeat and it is what happened here.

Post match Booker goes for the ax kick but Lashley clotheslines him down instead.

We get the first (of likely many) videos on the history of Batista vs. Finlay.

Here’s what John Cena has done to promote the Marine.

MVP comes in to Teddy Long’s office to complain about last week, but Long is about to watch the DVD of See No Evil (with DELETED SCENES). That isn’t cool with MVP, who mentions being from the streets. That’s cool with Teddy, who gives him a street fight with Kane next week.

Chris Benoit comes up to Chavo Guerrero and Vickie Guerrero and asks what happened to them. He asks if this is about Eddie’s estate but Vickie tells him to worry about something more important. Like Chavo taking the US Title at Survivor Series.

Jimmy Wang Yang/Matt Hardy vs. Sylvan/Gregory Helms

I feel like I’m watching a Lethal Lottery show. Helms chokes Yang as JBL rants about how much he can’t stand Yang at all. A backbreaker sets up a chinlock but Hardy comes in for the save, allowing Yang to be double teamed. Sylvan comes in for some knees to the chest and Helms whips Yang hard into the corner. A dropkick into a belly to back slam gets two on Yang, who spinwheel kicks Sylvan out of the air. The hot tag brings in Hardy to hammer on Helms and plant him with a Side Effect. Everything breaks down and Sylvan is sent outside, allowing Hardy to hit the Twist of Fate from the top to finish Helms.

Rating: C-. Perfectly fine enough match here, even with Hardy vs. Helms seemingly continuing for eternity. Hardy’s comeback worked well and he carried a lot more of the match than Yang, but it wasn’t like he could bring it up to another level. This felt like four people being put on the show for something to do instead of for a particular reason and that is rarely a good idea.

More on Batista vs. Finlay.

Here is Mr. Kennedy for Undertaker’s answer to a Survivor Series challenge. He talks about how Undertaker debuted sixteen years ago at Survivor Series and has made an amazing legacy for himself. That’s good, but look at what Kennedy has done in so little time. He has beaten all kinds of World Champions and is ready to move to Raw or ECW and show what else he can do, but Undertaker is standing in his way. Kennedy wants Undertaker out here right now because he is ending Undertaker’s career at Survivor Series. More taunting ensues and the gong goes off.

Undertaker does the full entrance and even takes his hat off, allowing Kennedy to hit him low. The beatdown is on with Kennedy hammering him in the head with the microphone. Undertaker is busted open and more microphone shots put him down. Kennedy gets in his face and says his own name before leaving, with Undertaker sitting up but not being able to get very far. This was a good segment for Kennedy, who set this up and then beat Undertaker down. He’ll get wrecked at Survivor Series, but it worked for him here.

Chris Benoit vs. KC James

Non-title and James has Michelle McCool with him. JBL sings McCool’s praises, saying he likes women, even if Cole doesn’t. Benoit hammers away in the corner and a knee to the ribs sends James outside. Back in and James elbows him down and grabs the chinlock with a knee in the back to keep Benoit in trouble. Benoit suplexes his way to freedom and it’s time to roll the German suplexes. The Swan Dive sets up the Crossface for the tap.

Rating: D+. No time to do much here but it was a nice way to show that Benoit is on a roll. It’s also smart to use low level tag guys like James here, because he isn’t going to be hurt by a loss to Benoit. They did things exactly as they should have here and no one was hurt, so what else can you ask them to do?

Batista is going to be on Smallville.

Boogeyman vs. TJ Dalton

Boogeyman throws him inside, catches a kick, eats some worms and finishes with the chokebomb in a hurry.

Post match, Dalton gets wormed.

Another Batista vs. Finlay video.

Kristal yells at Miz for not getting rid of Boogeyman. Worry not though as Miz will beat Boogeyman in a match next week.

One last Batista vs. Finlay video.

Batista vs. Finlay

Batista shoulders him down to start and then hits him again for a bonus. Finlay goes to the ropes so Batista pulls him back to hammer away some more. They head outside with Batista blocking a posting and hitting a clothesline. We take a break and come back with Batista holding a kneeling bearhug. More forearms in the corner have Finlay in trouble and a backdrop makes it worse.

There’s a backbreaker to keep Finlay down as this has been one sided so far. It’s back to the floor for a big boot to Finlay but the Leprechaun hits Batista in the leg with the Shillelagh. Finlay gets in a kick of his own and it’s time to work on Batista’s knee. The cranking and stomping on the knee ensues with Finlay putting on a standing leglock. Back up and Finlay misses a charge into the post and Batista hits some shoulders to the ribs.

Something like a Muscle Buster of all things drops Finlay but the knee is too banged up. Some clotheslines set up a powerslam to plant Finlay but he goes to the knee to slow Batista down again. That lasts for all of two seconds as Batista hits another clothesline for two. Cue Booker for a distraction but Batista sends Finlay into him, setting up the spinebuster for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was surprisingly one sided for a good chunk of the match as Batista dominated most of it. The knee thing didn’t mean much and Finlay never felt like a threat to win. I know Batista is on his way to the World Title shot at Survivor Series and it’s hardly bad to have him look dominant but you would expect something a little more competitive here.

Overall Rating: C. It’s nice to have Cyber Sunday out of the way so things can have a fresh focus, but there wasn’t anything important here. They mostly played it safe and didn’t try anything out of the ordinary, so we’ll call it a nice and easy first step towards the pay per view. Batista vs. Booker is the only way they could go and I’m sure the Survivor Series matches will get some nice build going forward. There’s nothing wrong with taking it nice and safe and that’s how they went here.

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Smackdown
Date: October 13, 2006
Location: Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We are done with No Mercy and King Booker is still the World Champion. With that show out of the way, Booker has a new issue to deal with in the forms of John Cena and Big Show as we move towards Cyber Sunday and the Champion of Champions match. We still have some stuff to get through first though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a No Mercy recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Mr. Kennedy to get things going. A month ago, he asked to be sent to Raw because he is out of competition around here. The only one left was the Undertaker and Kennedy beat him at No Mercy. Long still won’t give him his release so tonight he’s defending the US Title, and if he wins, he’s off to Raw.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Mr. Kennedy

Kennedy is defending and gets knocked into the corner in a hurry to start. Benoit hammers away and gets one off the snap suplex. The threat of the Crossface sends Kennedy over to the rope so Benoit chops him in the corner. Benoit is bleeding from the mouth as he fires off some knees to the ribs. The release German suplex sends Kennedy out to the floor but this time he gets in some shots to the back.

That’s about it for the offense though as Benoit slams him back inside and tries the Sharpshooter. With that not working, Benoit settles for a side suplex for two instead. Benoit drops him ribs first onto the top rope and then slams Kennedy off the top. The Swan Dive connects and now the Sharpshooter goes on but Benoit switches to the Crossface, allowing Kennedy to make the rope.

We take a break and come back with Benoit hitting a headbutt in the corner. Kennedy manages to send him shoulder first into the post though and then does it again for two. The logical armbar goes on but Benoit is back up with another failed Sharpshooter attempt. Kennedy goes back to the arm so Benoit kicks him in the head (the simple escapes are often the best) but the armbar goes on again. Then the gong sounds and Benoit uses the distraction to grab the German suplex. Cue Undertaker as Benoit rolls the German suplexes into the Crossface for the tap and the title.

Rating: C+. I’m not wild on the distraction setting up the finish but at least it wasn’t just a rollup for the title. Kennedy losing off the bat like this was a surprise but continuing a feud with Undertaker is a bigger deal than having the US Title at the moment. Kennedy can talk his way up the ladder as well as anyone so he’s going to be fine no matter what he does. Benoit is always good as the midcard champion so this works out for everyone.

This Week In Wrestling History: Steve Austin fills Vince McMahon’s Corvette with cement.

We look at Vince McMahon announcing the Champion of Champions match.

Teddy Long reminds King Booker that he will defend the World Title next week on Smackdown, which Booker does not like. Tonight it’s Batista vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley for next week’s title shot.

Vito vs. William Regal

Vito has a fur wrap to go with the dress. Regal hammers away in the corner as Cole says Vito and Regal shared a shower at No Mercy. They’re out on the floor in a hurry where Regal kicks him in the face, much to JBL’s delight. Back in and Vito fights out of a full nelson so Regal settles for a half nelson suplex instead.

A crossface has Vito bailing to the rope as JBL continues to take every shot he can at Vito. Regal gets kicked in the face so Vito can pull the dress up, only to miss a top rope elbow. As JBL complains about the closeups of Vito and the far shots of Michelle McCool, Vito sits down on a sunset flip attempt for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure if it is a good or bad thing that Vito is being moved up the ladder but it’s better than having him do the same things over and over again. This time he’s doing the same things against better opponents, or at least opponents who can play off of the comedy a bit better. JBL’s rants would not fly today, but they are still fairly funny, just for how much he freaks out every time.

Bobby Lashley is ready for the triple threat tonight and loves the pressure.

Here is MVP to say there is no competition for him here. He beat a world renowned fighting machine at No Mercy and the fans call him a Power Ranger (MVP: “That’s cool.”). MVP wants an opponent who will make him break a sweat tonight so here’s Teddy Long to introduce said opponent.

MVP vs. Kane

This is Kane’s Smackdown debut after losing a Loser Leaves Raw match. MVP stretches a lot and JBL yells at him to get on with it already. Kane hammers on him before the bell and beats him so badly that MVP bails, meaning no match. JBL getting on MVP is a different way to go and I kind of like it.

John Cena trained with some Marines and it was hard.

Jamie Noble vs. Rey Mysterio

Chavo and Vickie Guerrero come out to watch and we are joined in progress after a break. Jamie knocks him down in the corner as the EDDIE chants are out in full again. Some forearms and knees to the face set up a chinlock on Rey as the chants switch to 619. Back up and Rey counters a sunset flip into a kick to the head and nails a Lionsault for two. The hurricanrana out of the corner sets up the springboard seated senton but Noble is back with a rollup for two of his own. Not that it matters as Rey hits the 619 and Drops The Dime for the pin.

Rating: C. These two are going to have a good match against almost anyone and they were fine here. It was clear that they were just setting up whatever was going to take place after the match with Chavo but they didn’t fly through it for the sake of getting to the angle. Noble continues to be a good hand in a tag team or on his own and that is a good thing to have on the roster.

Post match Chavo mockingly praises Rey’s win but blames Rey for bringing him out of retirement. These two cannot survive on Smackdown so let’s have an I Quit match next week. Rey isn’t sure as he has already beaten Chavo twice. Vickie questions Rey’s manhood so the match is on.

Brian Kendrick/Paul London/Jimmy Wang Yang vs. KC James/Idol Stevens/Sylvan

Ashley and Michelle McCool are here too. Kendrick and Sylvan start things off but everything breaks down in a hurry with London and Kendrick hitting the stereo dives to the floor. Back in and Sylvan blasts Kendrick with a clothesline as JBL talks about McCool holding a yard stick. Everything breaks down in a hurry with London diving onto James. That leaves Yang to hit a moonsault press to finish Sylvan.

Rating: C+. This was a rather short match but it was all action, as you might have expected from most of the people involved. London and Kendrick can work well with anyone but they need some fresh opponents after beating the Pitbulls and James/Stevens over and over. I’m not sure who that is going to be, but it’s nice to have such skilled champions.

Raw Rebound.

Finlay doesn’t like Cole suggesting he might not win tonight. He’ll win tonight and become World Champion next week.

Batista promises to win too.

Batista vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley

The winner gets a shot at King Booker, on commentary here, next week. Finlay doesn’t like being left out of the early staredown so they both deck him. That lets Batista take Lashley into the corner but Lashley whips him into the corner as well. A collision gives us a double knockdown so Finlay comes back in and sends Batista outside. Lashley is back up with some clotheslines for two, with the Leprechaun coming in for a distraction. That sends Lashley out in pursuit and we take a break.

Back with Finlay chinlocking Lashley while Batista is down after being posted while we were away. Batista gets back in and cleans house, including a running clothesline to put Finlay on the floor. The Batista Bomb is broken up and they all head outside with Batista loading up the announcers’ table. Finlay and Lashley jump Batista in a smart move and then put him through the table in a smarter one.

Booker is VERY pleased by this as Finlay (Booker: “He’s a turncoat!”) clotheslines Lashley down for two. Lashley is back with some shots to the ribs but Batista makes the save. Finlay beats Batista up on the floor again, including a good looking kick to the face. Batista is back up with a spear to Lashley, leaving Finlay to take the spinebuster into the Batista Bomb (Booker: “NO!!!!!!”) for the pin.

Rating: C+. There wasn’t a ton of doubt on the ending here as Batista vs. Booker is the big showdown that needs to happen again. The good thing here though is the other two are more than capable of having a power match like this and they all beat each other up rather well. Throw in Booker’s hilarious panicking on commentary and they had a nice match here.

Booker is told that Big Show and John Cena will be here for the title match next week. The champ is rather upset to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. They kept the show moving here and it was one of their better ones in a bit. It felt like everything mattered here (some more than others) or at least had the energy to make it seem like it mattered. This was a nice way to build off of the pay per view, though it could be a while before we get to anything important with Cyber Sunday being the next big Raw show. At least they have a title match set for next week and then the Champion of Champion match as a bonus. Rather solid show here.

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Smackdown
Date: October 6, 2006
Location: Kansas Coliseum, Wichita, Kansas
Attendance: 5,585
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for No Mercy and I’m not sure what else there is to set up for the show. The card has been set in stone for a good while now and while there are still a few things that could be firmed up, everything else is ready. Hopefully they keep the interest up, though a boost would certainly help things out a lot. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

King Booker, with Queen Sharmell, is ready to make Bobby Lashley pick Batista as his poison tonight.

Bobby Lashley is cool with that and picks Finlay as Booker’s poison. No matter what happens though, nothing changes for Sunday.

Rey Mysterio/Matt Hardy vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero

Take two feuds and mix them together. Vickie Guerrero is here with Chavo. Rey wants Chavo to start but gets Helms instead, meaning it’s quickly off to Hardy to hammer away. A springboard ax handle to Helms’ shoulder connects but he spinebusters Rey down to take over. Now Chavo is willing to come in for a few cheap shots before handing it back to Helms. That means a drop toehold into the corner and everything breaks down in a hurry.

Helms hits a Codebreaker on Hardy and grabs a triangle choke, followed by some stomping from Chavo. The Side Effect gets Matt out of trouble and it’s the lukewarm tag to Rey to clean house. There’s the big kick to Chavo’s head and Poetry in Motion sets up the hurricanrana into the 619. Rey Drops The Dime and pins Helms, with commentary not even throwing out a token mention of the Cruiserweight Title.

Rating: C. Totally run of the mill tag match here but it worked out fine for what it was supposed to do. I’m still not thrilled with the Cruiserweight Title being the most worthless belt I’ve seen in years. Hardy can’t go after the thing and there is no mention of someone wanting to be champion, so the little value it already has goes lower and lower every day.

Maryse welcomes us back to the show, which is a rather obvious excuse to show off….yeah I think you get this one.

Elijah Burke vs. Tatanka

Sylvester Terkay is here with Burke, who praises himself before the match. Terkay offers a distraction and Burke gets in a cheap shot, only to get chopped down in a hurry. Burke gets in a knee and hits a dropkick in the corner, followed by a driving shoulder to keep Tatanka in trouble. The running Vader Bomb elbow gets two and the chinlock goes on. Tatanka fights up with a flapjack and the Papoose To Go, followed by the top rope chop to the head for two more. Terkay offers a distraction though and Burke hammers away, allowing Terkay to get in a cheap shot. Burke hits a Stroke for the pin.

Rating: D+. They’re doing the right things with Burke and Terkay here but nothing is clicking. Burke has the charisma and Terkay is the muscle, which is a formula that has worked for years but it isn’t working for them. Granted having to cheat to beat Tatanka isn’t going to make things better for them. This Tatanka gets cheated story needs to wrap up too, as it is approaching a few months now.

Trailer for the Marine.

King Booker asks Finlay if he will lay down for the king, but Finlay asks William Regal if he would do the same. Regal says of course he would, but Finlay isn’t going to do it. Booker: “DON’T DO THIS! DON’T DO THIS!”

King Booker vs. Finlay

Non-title and Queen Sharmell is here too. Sharmell offers an early distraction so Booker can jump him from behind for an early two. Booker hammers away but Finlay shows him how it’s really done and grabs the chinlock. Some forearms keep Booker down and there’s a stomp to the ribs, followed by an elbow to the jaw.

Booker gets sent shoulder first into the post and Finlay grabs another chinlock as he continues with the simple yet effective offense. They exchange forearms until Booker drops him with a side kick. Cue the Leprechaun with a mouse to scare Sharmell and the distraction lets Finlay get in a Shillelagh shot for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one but that wasn’t the point. This was about showing Booker as a bit weaker than you might expect and they had a short match to prove the point. You don’t need to do much more than that here, though Finlay continues to look completely comfortable against anyone in there. I know he isn’t going to be a long term main eventer, but he’s really good in the brawling enforcer role.

Bobby Lashley vs. Batista

We get the big staredown and handshake to start. They shove each other around and the test of strength goes nowhere. Lashley backs him into the ropes to escape a headlock and then runs Batista over with a shoulder. Batista hits a shoulder of his own but it’s way too early for the Batista Bomb. Instead Batista pulls him down into a chinlock with a bodyscissors, followed by the shoulders in the corner. A big boot cuts off Lashley’s comeback attempt but a double clothesline gives us a double knockdown. Cue Finlay to jump Batista for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was a bit more fun but it was exactly the same as the previous match: there was no point in trying to do anything here because the entire point was to get them in the ring and then do the DQ. There is nothing wrong with that and they did things as they were supposed to. Good enough stuff here, and Lashley hanging in there with Batista makes him look better.

Post match the beatdown is on with King Booker coming in to go after Lashley. Cue Teddy Long to say enough of this, because we’ll just make Sunday’s match a fatal four way. Dang that’s rather unfair to Lashley.

Post break Booker and Sharmell yell at Long but Batista, Finlay and Lashley come in to yell/thank Teddy as well. Long doesn’t want to hear it and makes the tag main event.

Sylvan vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Yang talks about how he likes NASCAR, cold beer and beating people up. There are no fast cars or beer around here, so that leaves a bad Roddy Piper knockoff line instead. Yang kicks him down for an early one as JBL freaks out about everything Yang related. Sylvan is back up with a clothesline and a bearhug, which is broken up in a hurry for the clothesline comeback. A missile dropkick gives Yang two and a kick to the face gets the same. Yang tries a victory roll but Sylvan stacks him up and grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: D. It says a lot when even WWE seems to have given up on the Yang gimmick so soon. There is nothing to the whole thing other than a one note joke and it wasn’t that funny in the first place. Sylvan isn’t much better, but at least they have dropped the ambassador thing and are going with him as a generic foreign heel, which fits him a bit better. Not much better mind you, but it is an improvement.

Clip from the No Mercy press conference.

Here is MVP for a chat on the platform. He talks about how everything is changing but no one is ready for his debut. JBL loses it because MVP hasn’t even gotten in the ring yet.

Mr. Kennedy is in a black shirt in a black room and talks about how successful Undertaker has been through his mind games over the years. Last week Kennedy came face to face with it but he wasn’t scared. All of those plans mean nothing to him and nothing will prepare Undertaker for the devastation coming for him at No Mercy.

Michelle McCool, KC James and Idol Stevens are ready for Paul London/Brian Kendrick/Ashley Massaro.

Michelle McCool vs. Ashley Massaro

Both tag teams are here too. They trade shoulders to the ribs in the corner to start as JBL is in quite the bit of lust. Ashley hits her in the back and puts on an abdominal stretch, followed by the Boston crab. KC James pulls McCool to the ropes so Ashley tries a high crossbody, only to have Michelle roll through and grab the trunks for the pin.

Rating: D. Again, I think you get the point here and they aren’t exactly trying to hide that fact. That makes all the sense in the world but points to Ashley for being able to hang in there well enough. I know she isn’t a career wrestler but she is trying out there and you can see it even in such a short match.

Clips from the Marine premiere at Camp Pendleton.

No Mercy rundown.

King Booker/Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley/Batista

Finlay jumps Batista to start but Batista takes him into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. They head outside with Batista hitting a clothesline and bringing it back inside so Lashley can come in. Booker gets the tag and walks into a suplex for two with Finlay having to make the save. They head outside again with Booker sending him into the steps, allowing Finlay to grab a chinlock. A knee to the ribs gets two on Lashley and Booker adds a basement dropkick to the face for the same.

Lashley suplexes his way out of a front facelock (Booker’s stunned face is great) but Finlay is back in with some elbows to the face. Booker takes Lashley outside again and starts striking away, followed by a crossface from Finlay back inside. Lashley powers over for the tag to Batista but Booker has the referee so we keep going (still a classic spot). A spear gets Lashley out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Batista, only to have William Regal come in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Much like the two singles matches, this wasn’t about the action itself but rather having the wrestlers in the ring before Sunday. It’s coming off like WWE has no confidence in the title match as you don’t often see two more people thrown in two days before. It should be fine, but they aren’t really hiding how B level show the four way is starting to feel.

Post match Batista cleans house and Lashley doesn’t look happy to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was the hard sell show for the pay per view and while they hit all of the bases, it still isn’t the most interesting show. No Mercy doesn’t feel like a major pay per view and there isn’t much they can do to get around that. The show wasn’t the worst and it did its job, but No Mercy isn’t an interesting show no matter how much they do on the go home effort. They were trying, but there is a limit to what can be done.

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Smackdown
Date: September 29, 2006
Location: Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re less two weeks away from No Mercy and most of the card is set. That’s a good situation to be in as it means the next two weeks can be spent firming everything up and adding something here and there. This week is about the guest star though, as John Cena is here for a six man main event. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at King Booker’s Court invading Raw and making John Cena kiss Booker’s foot. Of course you know this means match.

Here’s Cena, with a banged up arm, to get things going. Before he gets into dealing with Booker and company, he is glad to be back on Smackdown because it’s like hosting Saturday Night Live. He’s the WWE Champion again and now he has a new movie coming out. Cena: “Go and see it a million times.”

Cena is glad to have the big fist and Tony Chimmel as the ring announcer. Then there’s JBL, who Cena remembers taking a beating the last time they saw him. Next to JBL is Michael Cole, the Whitney Houston to his Bobby Brown, and Cena has a gift for him. After handing Cole some balls, Cena talks about King Booker’s Court being here, but so are Batista and Bobby Lashley. Tonight, the odds are even.

Video on Vickie Guerrero joining forces with her nephew Chavo.

Rey Mysterio vs. Sylvester Terkay

Elijah Burke is here with Terkay….who tells Burke to take his place.

Rey Mysterio vs. Elijah Burke

Rey snaps off a headscissors to start as JBL goes into a rant about how Mysterio’s success in Mexico means nothing in the USA. Burke knocks him into the corner as we see the Guerreros being rather pleased in the back. That’s leg to in a hurry but Burke misses the top rope elbow. As JBL again called Terkay and Burke the best interracial team since the APA, Mysterio hits the spinning springboard crossbody to put Burke down. The 619 lets Rey Drop The Dime for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one other than Burke taking a loss that he probably didn’t need to lose. Terkay continues to be the star of the team, but that doesn’t mean his partner needs to be losing. Mysterio needed the boost on the way towards his match against Chavo at No Mercy, but I would think there is someone better to take the loss than Burke.

Post match Terkay jumps Mysterio from behind and lays him out with a Muscle Buster. We see the Guerreros seeming rather pleased in the back.

Ashley Massaro introduces a video on Brian Kendrick and Paul London.

Pit Bulls vs. KC James/Idol Stevens

The winners get a Tag Team Title shot at No Mercy and Michelle McCool is here with James and Stevens. Stevens gets pounded down to start so it’s off to James to get taken into the wrong corner. A kick to the chest gets two on James as JBL gets on Cole for playing soccer. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Kash’s moonsault press gets two on James. A small package has James in trouble but McCool turns it over to give James the pin.

Rating: C. Again, not much time to go anywhere but it could have been a lot worse. The problem is we’ve already seen Kendrick and London beat both teams so there is only so much interest in watching either of them get another shot. The lack of time might be annoying, but it was the right move here.

Marine video. Just have the thing come out already.

Matt Hardy vs. Chavo Guerrero

They trade some standing switches to start until Hardy drops him with a right hand. Back up and Chavo pulls Matt off the middle rope for a crash and it’s off to a seated armbar. That’s broken up as well and Matt hits some clotheslines into a backdrop. The bulldog gets two and there’s the middle rope legdrop. Vickie Guerrero gets on the apron for a distraction though, allowing Gregory Helms to come in for the real distraction. That’s enough for Chavo to grab a tornado DDT into the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C. Two talented guys getting to do their thing for a few minutes is almost always going to work and the interferences both made sense. Chavo is starting to feel like more of a player than Eddie’s sidekick and while I’m not sure how far up the ladder he can go, it’s nice to see someone as talented as he is finally getting a chance of his own outside of the Cruiserweight Title.

Post match, Helms hits Hardy with a Shining Wizard.

This Week In Wrestling History: Andre the Giant knocked out Gorilla Monsoon in a boxing match.

Here’s Mr. Kennedy to bid farewell to Undertaker. There is a black wreath in the ring as Kennedy talks about how this is a tribute. Undertaker has taken on and beaten some of the all time greats and we see a video package on his career. All of those accolades leave him with nothing to prove though, which makes Kennedy feel bad about No Mercy. He doesn’t want to end Undertaker’s legacy, so he certainly doesn’t want to face him at Wrestlemania.

Therefore, as a man of good conscience, he cannot wrestle Undertaker at No Mercy. Cue Undertaker and, after about a five minute entrance, he promises to show no mercy and make Kennedy rest in peace. Then Kennedy goes to hit him with the microphone but it blows up in his hand to send him running.

King Booker’s Court is ready to make John Cena, Batista and Bobby Lashley hail the king tonight.

Commercial for Eric Bischoff’s Controversy Creates Cash book.

Miz vs. Tatanka

Miz sings his version of Sexy Back on the way to the ring. JBL: “I hate him.” Tatanka whips him into the corner to start but Miz gets out to the apron. A slide between the legs lets Miz hit the warpath as JBL makes every Native American joke he can think of in the first minute. Miz’s Russian legsweep gets two but Tatanka is back with his own for one. Now it’s Tatanka going on the warpath but Miz rolls him up with trunks for the fast win.

Rating: D+. The best thing about the way they are pushing Miz is he is racking up wins while not overstaying his welcome. I don’t think any of his matches have gone more than about five minutes or so and he is out there almost every week. Keep him warm, give him something to do and build him up a bit. This isn’t rocket science and what they’re doing is working well for an early stage.

Teddy Long is proud about last week’s debut being the second highest viewed show among adults on Friday night. Next week, Bobby Lashley and King Booker will pick each other’s poisons and you can find out their picks over the weekend on WWE.com.

Jimmy Wang Yang is a redneck and ready to face Sylvan.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Sylvan

Yang has the Confederate flag on his vest (JBL: “Who is he sponsored by? George Wallace?”) and comes out to I Might Have To Punch Someone Tonight. Sylvan hits him in the face to start but walks into a headscissors into a dropkick. A toss sends Sylvan out to the floor for a crash as Cole compares Yang to Dick Murdoch to needle JBL in a funny bit.

JBL: “I hate you. I hate everyone in the ring. The referee is Canadian so I hate him too.” Yang jawbreaks his way out of a chinlock and hammers away, including a spinwheel kick. Sylvan catches a charge in the corner though and grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C-. As has been the case tonight, not much in the way of a match but at least the JBL rants were funny. Yang losing doesn’t matter in the slightest as he is nothing more than a goofy one note character who was never going to be a big star. Sylvan isn’t either, but that reaction in Montreal last week probably earned him one more win, which is fine.

Vito says it’s the man that makes the dress.

MVP has signed with Smackdown and we get clips from his signing press conference. He debuts at No Mercy.

No Mercy rundown.

King Booker/Finlay/William Regal vs. John Cena/Batista/Bobby Lashley

This does feel like a big match and we see a clip of Cena getting beaten down on Raw during the entrances. It’s a big brawl in the aisle to start before the bell and we take a break. Joined in progress with Batista shouldering Regal in the corner and nailing the spinebuster, which draws Finlay in for an early save. Booker comes in to hammer away on Batista, who is right back with the Jackhammer.

It’s off to Lashley, who gets kicked in the face by Booker. That’s fine with Lashley as he counters a leapfrog into a powerslam to plant Booker for two. Finlay comes in and gets caught in a gorilla press gutbuster but Lashley misses a charge into the post. He’s fine enough to make the tag to Cena and everything breaks down with Cena cleaning house. The STF to Booker is broken up and the Leprechaun slips Finlay the Shillelagh to hit Cena in the bad arm.

We take a break and come back with Regal working on the arm as only Regal can do. The villains take turns working on the arm until Cena suplexes Finlay away. Finlay pops back up with a clothesline though and the armbar goes on again. Another clothesline gives Finlay two and it’s back to Booker, who (after a bit of mistiming) misses the side kick to hit the ropes. Lashley gets the hot tag to clean house as everything breaks down. Batista almost gets caught with the ax kick but Lashley spears Booker down for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty long match for a TV main event but it felt like it was something that mattered and that makes up for the problems. Above all else, the star power was here as you had this week’s version of the Super Best Friends against the top Smackdown villains and his cronies. That sounds like an important match and it worked out rather well, even if it was that long.

Post match Edge runs in to spear Cena to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Cena brought the star power to the main event and that’s what mattered the most here, but the rest of the show was a bunch of quick matches (similar to this week’s Raw but not that bad). That made it feel more like a show that wasn’t designed to be a big deal on its own but rather a way to build towards the future. That’s not a bad thing, but it doesn’t make for the most thrilling show.

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Smackdown
Date: September 22, 2006
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re now officially on the way to No Mercy and we even have a main event for the show. Last week Bobby Lashley became the new #1 contender to King Booker, but tonight Booker has to face Vito. That’s what we’re getting on a Season Premiere as the show moves to a new network with the CW. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell come in to see Teddy Long. They don’t like that Booker’s hands are going to be sullied by a match with Vito because everything they have is the finest. After a look at Sharmell’s gown, Teddy has good news for them: Vito has stepped aside and Undertaker will face him instead. The accents are dropped in a hurry and panic sets in. So why advertise Vito when you could advertise Undertaker?

New opening sequence, featuring the wrestlers turning into comic book style caricatures.

William Regal/Finlay vs. Batista/Bobby Lashley

Batista wants to start with Finlay but gets jumped by Regal instead. That goes as well as you would expect for Regal, who gets sent into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. Finlay runs away from Batista on the floor so Batista settles for a spinebuster to Regal instead. Lashley comes in for a double delayed vertical suplex (not bad) and a snap suplex gets two on Regal. It’s off to Finlay, who gets caught in a torture rack dropped into a backbreaker but a low bridge puts Lashley on the floor.

Regal nails a clothesline and the villains (you know they’re villains because Regal’s trunks say “villain”) take over with Finlay dropping some elbows. It’s back to Finlay, who mocks Lashley for not being able to make the tag and kicks him in the ribs like an evil one would do. Regal’s t-bone suplex gets two as JBL talks about how much he can’t stand the French, Canadians or French Canadians. Regal jumps Batista on the apron so Batista comes in sans tag and cleans house. The Shillelagh is taken away from Regal so Lashley can nail the spear for the pin.

Rating: C. Nicely done here as they give Lashley a bit of a boost and let Batista vs. Finlay stay on the burner, likely for a showdown at No Mercy. They didn’t have much time here but the formula can work out well in short bursts too so this worked out fine. Good choice for an opener on the new network too, with a star like Batista and a hard hitting fight to give Lashley some nice exposure.

Here’s Layla, who promises to make Smackdown hot and dances a lot. Cue Krystal to say not so fast because she’s the hot one, meaning the brawl is on. Jillian Hall runs in for the save and rips off Krystal’s top. Then she rips off Layla’s top, followed by her own. And we move on.

Long video on Rey Mysterio and Chavo Guerrero being friends/family and then splitting up over Chavo and Vickie Guerrero not liking Rey cashing in on the Guerrero name. Still a totally fair point.

Matt Hardy vs. Gregory Helms

Non-title. They go straight at it with Helms being backdropped out to the floor. Back in and Helms slips out of something off the top and snaps Hardy throat first across the top. A swinging neckbreaker gives Helms two and an elbow drop gets the same. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Helms hits what would eventually become the Codebreaker for two more.

Hardy jawbreaks his way out of another chinlock and grabs the Side Effect for two. A moonsault press gets two on more on Helms, who is right back with the Shining Wizard for the same. Helms goes for the turnbuckle pad so the referee puts it back on, allowing Hardy to hit a low blow into the rollup pin (ala Helms last week).

Rating: C. Hardy doing the same thing to Helms as the previous week was a nice touch, but I’m still not sure what the point of this feud is if Hardy can’t (and doesn’t seem interested in) win the Cruiserweight Title. The wrestling was fine enough, but it feels like we’re going in circles here. I know the title doesn’t mean anything, so why is it even a thing at this point?

Miz promises to win his next match.

Jimmy Wang Yang thought about debuting tonight but doesn’t feel very comfortable in Montreal. Not too many rednecks you see, so we’ll do it in Oklahoma next week.

Miz vs. Funaki

They fight over wrist control to start with Miz wristdragging him down. Another takedown sets up a suplex, followed by the Mizard of Oz (which lands in a reverse DDT this time instead of a neckbreaker) to keep Miz undefeated. Keeping Miz short is the right idea at the moment.

Rey Mysterio has had it with the Guerreros and today is the first day of the rest of his life.

Video on the Marine.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Vickie Guerrero is here with Chavo. They start fast again with Rey hammering away to take it to the floor. The fight goes into the crowd with Rey still getting the better of things until his hurricanrana is sent into the barricade. Things go back into the crowd and Rey sends him into the barricade over and over. Rey doesn’t seem to notice that the referee is telling him it’s over and they get back to ringside with Chavo getting kicked in the ribs. Vickie throws Chavo a chair, which Rey dropkicks off his face. Vickie’s interference doesn’t work as Rey hammers away again and referees come in to break it up. I’m not sure this was a match.

Rating: C. It wasn’t much of a match as it was much more of a brawl than anything else, but I want to see these two fight again, which is a lot more than I could say coming in. You could feel the anger and hatred here and that’s the best thing that could happen in a segment like this. Good stuff and I’m sure No Mercy waits for them.

Maryse welcomes us back to the show. I think you can get why she has a job.

Tag Team Titles: Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Pit Bulls vs. KC James/Idol Stevens

London and Kendrick are defending and Michelle McCool is here with James and Stevens. It’s a brawl to start with James, Kendrick and Noble getting things going. The Pitbulls beat on Stevens and Kash pounds him down for two. Stevens breaks that up and Kash gets knocked down into the corner, including a snapmare for two more.

Kendrick comes back and hammers away, allowing the hot tag off to London to pick the pace way up. A dropkick gets two on Stevens with the Pit Bulls making the save. Michelle gets on the apron for no apparent reason as Kash brainbusters London. Sliced Bread takes Kash down but Stevens hits a heck of a spinebuster on Kendrick. Noble sends him outside and rolls London up, only to get reversed into another rollup for the pin.

Rating: C+. As the champs tend to do, they got in and out without wasting time and had a high energy match. They really have become one of the most consistently entertaining things on Smackdown and this should be the blowoff to the three way feud. I’m sure it won’t be because there aren’t any other teams to come after them, but at least they had a nice match here.

Elijah Burke introduces Sylvester Terkay. Sylvester: “I’m Sylvester Terkay.” End of segment.

Video on Batista visiting the Philippines.

Here’s Sylvan to a crazy hero’s welcome and he seems fired up to be here. After saying something in French, we’re ready to go.

Sylvan vs. Tatanka

Sylvan chops away to start but Tatanka comes back with some right hands and is booed out of the building. A backbreaker sets up a chinlock but Sylvan is back with a spinebuster. There’s a dropkick to put Tatanka down again and a spinning belly to back slam gets two more. Tatanka tries a sunset flip but Sylvan sits down and grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was nothing to see here but WOW that crowd was behind Sylvan. That is the kind of thing that has never happened before and will probably never happen again, but thankfully WWE was smart enough to capitalize on it once. Let the fans have something to cheer and let a scrub like Tatanka take another loss. This was nice to see and I don’t get to say that very often.

John Cena visits Teddy Long and thanks him for the contract offer that was ready had Cena lost at Unforgiven. Long has an idea: Cena visits Smackdown next week and teams with Batista and Bobby Lashley against William Regal/Finlay/King Booker. Cena is in and leaves so Long dances in celebration.

No Mercy rundown with Batista vs. Finlay and Mysterio vs. Guerrero announced.

King Booker vs. Undertaker

Non-title, Sharmell is here with Booker and Mr. Kennedy is on commentary. Kennedy gets freaked out by Undertaker’s entrance and JBL isn’t much better. Undertaker strikes away to start and knocks Booker to the floor early on. We take a break and come back with Undertaker hammering away even more, setting up the knuckle lock lift to have Booker in more trouble. The arm is wrapped around the top rope but Old School is broken up.

A Sharmell distraction lets Booker grab a superplex and it’s time to choke on the ropes. Booker knocks him outside for a ram into the steps, followed by a DDT for two. The side kick misses though and Undertaker hits a jumping clothesline. Snake Eyes into the big boot gets two but Booker is back with the jumping kick to the face. Undertaker is right back to load up the Tombstone but Booker slips out and hits a low blow for the DQ.

Rating: C. As has been the case almost all night, this was all about making an appearance rather than the match itself. Undertaker being in the ring is still a treat and it was a good idea to have him on a special show. These two haven’t always had the best chemistry but they weren’t out there very long and it’s not like the bad finish came after a pay per view title match.

Post match here’s Bobby Lashley to throw Booker back inside, meaning it’s a chokeslam and Tombstone. Undertaker stares down at Kennedy to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a show where the wrestling did not really matter but the presentation was very good. For a season premiere on a new network, they did a great job of keeping things moving and having all of the big names come in and out throughout the show. They set up things both for the pay per view and next week so some fans might want to come back again. I don’t get impressed by WWE very often but they did a rather nice job here and that’s great to see.

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Smackdown
Date: August 25, 2006
Location: Wachovia Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re done with Summerslam and Batista didn’t quite take the World Title from King Booker. That means it is time to start getting ready for No Mercy, but that is a pretty long way off. In other words, we are going to need something to bridge the gap and maybe we can find out what that is tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the big Summerslam matches.

Here is King Booker with his court to get things going. Booker has shown that Batista can’t beat him and now Batista’s chances of being the World Champion have smoldered. He owes a thank you to his court though and that means Queen Sharmell has a proclamation. Booker has officially knighted Finlay and William Regal, complete with a sword onto the shoulder.

Regal is near tears as Finlay talks about making challengers kiss Booker’s royal feet. That lets Regal hail King Booker as many times as he can manage until Bobby Lashley runs in to jump Finlay. Batista has to come in to break up the three on one beatdown, meaning it’s Teddy Long to set up the handicap main event.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Matt Hardy

Gregory Helms is on commentary. Matt headlocks him over to start and then scores with a shoulder. A hiptoss puts Kennedy down for a third time and the middle rope elbow gets two. Kennedy finally scores with a belly to back suplex but gets sent into all four corners in a row. There’s the Side Effect for two so Matt loads it up again, with Kennedy elbowing his way to freedom. Matt knocks him to the floor and dives onto him as well to send us to a break.

Back with Kennedy knocking Hardy to the floor and sending him hard into the steps. The armbar goes on for a bit, with Kennedy cranking away on the mat. Kennedy gets caught on top though (that’s a bad place for him) and Matt brings him down with a superplex for two more. The corner clothesline into a bulldog gets the same on Kennedy and another Side Effect gets another two. The Twist of Fate is broken up though and Helms gets in a cheap shot from behind. Kennedy’s neckbreaker is good for the pin.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad, but Helms vs. Hardy isn’t exactly a feud I want to see. Kennedy getting another win helps, but it might help if he picked a finisher and stuck with it for more than a few matches. At least they’re pushing someone though, which is a place that can always use a chance.

Ashley Massaro talks to Miz, who explains the concept of the Mizfits.

Post break Miz is in the ring and introduces Layla for a chat. Miz appeals to the Mizfits and after the silence, Miz announces that his in-ring debut takes place next week. Layla didn’t say a word.

Sylvester Terkay vs. Tatanka

Elijah Burke is here with Terkay and we see a clip of Tatanka’s recent losing streak. Terkay powers him into the corner to start but gets kicked out. That’s fine with Terkay, who hits Tatanka in the face to put him down. After a blast of water from Burke, we hit the standing choke to keep Tatanka in trouble. The double arm crank goes on but Tatanka fights up and strikes away. A top rope chop to the head drops Terkay for two as the foot is on the rope. Tatanka yells at the referee and gets kicked in the face for the pin.

Rating: D+. As usual, I have to wonder why Tatanka is the one getting a story right now. Terkay won the match, but the focus was on Tatanka’s issues with the referee. I’d hope that there is no false hope in the idea that Tatanka is going to be anything important, but there are other people who could use this kind of attention.

We look at Chavo Guerrero beating Rey Mysterio on Sunday, thanks to Vickie Guerrero.

The Marine trailer.

Here is Vickie Guerrero, to Eddie Guerrero’s music, to explain what happened at Summerslam. She loves the song and it always makes her smile, but it is the last time you will be hearing it. Vickie is not proud of what she did at Summerslam so she would like Rey Mysterio to come out here. Cue Rey, who hugs Vickie but Chavo Guerrero comes out to join them. Vickie apologizes for slapping her family and hugs him as well….but then he jumps Rey. Chavo brings in a chair but Vickie takes it again, only to hit Rey herself. A brainbuster onto the chair leaves Rey laying as the Guerreros leave together.

Paul London vs. KC James

Brian Kendrick, Michelle McCool and Idol Stevens are here too. London hammers away to start but gets punched in the face. James takes him down and we’re in the chinlock in a hurry. That’s broken up even faster and London kicks him in the chest. Some running knees in the corner connect and there’s the dropsault to put James down again. Cue the Pitbulls to jump London for the DQ out of nowhere.

Post match the three way brawl is on with London and Kendrick being left alone in the ring.

MVP, flanked by some women, arrives in his front row seat.

The Boogeyman is coming back.

Kristal vs. Jillian Hall

Kristal jumps her from behind to start but stops to pose, earning herself a shot to the face. A hair toss sends Jillian down again and some choking keeps her in trouble. Jillian comes back with a handspring elbow in the corner and then rubs Kristal’s face in her chest. Kristal grabs a rollup and pulls the jeans for the win. That’s about as stereotypical of a Divas match as you could get from this era.

Jimmy Wang Yang says he isn’t a kung fu fighter because he’s a redneck. Well it’s something new.

Vito vs. Sylvan

Sylvan talks trash to start but gets sent to the floor in a hurry. That’s fine with Vito who follows him out to hammer away, only to get taken back inside. Sylvan hits the running crotch attack to the back of the neck and a slam sets up the chinlock. Vito suplexes his way to freedom and the dress comes up a bit. Some shots to the face set up the armbar with the dress over the head to make Sylvan tap.

Rating: D-. This has got to be one of the dumbest things they have done in a long time. The gimmick itself isn’t the worst, but how many weeks in a row do we need to see the exact same thing before WWE thinks we get the concept? Beating a bunch of losers and then a bigger loser in Sylvan while doing the same stuff over and over again isn’t likely to work, but that has never stopped WWE before.

Post match MVP laughs at Vito, so Vito challenges him to get in the ring. MVP gets on the apron but stops to answer a phone call. His agent says no without the big money deal so MVP backs off and leaves with the girls. I wouldn’t waste my debut on Vito either.

We look at the opening segment.

William Regal/King Booker/Finlay vs. Batista/Bobby Lashley

Batista clears out Finlay and Regal to start and grabs Booker, only to have Finlay jump him from behind. The running corner clothesline connects and Batista sends him outside, where Lashley is waiting. Back in and Batista beats up Finlay and Regal again before Lashley tells Booker to bring it. Booker heads to the floor again and we take a break.

Back with Lashley kicking Regal in the ribs in the corner and handing it back to Batista for a suplex. Lashley’s suplex gets two but Booker gets in a cheap shot from the apron. Booker comes in and stomps away, allowing him to pose a bit. The villains get to take their turns on Lashley for a change, with Booker kicking him in the face for two.

Finlay pulls Lashley to the floor and a distraction lets him pull the Leprechaun out for an apron splash. Back in again and Lashley is fine enough to hit a rather delayed suplex for two on Booker. Batista gets the hot tag and cleans house with spinebusters and slams. Booker gets in a shot from behind but Batista hits a spinebuster and gets the pin in a hurry.

Rating: C. Totally standard main event tag match here, at least until the ending which came out of nowhere and did what it was supposed to do. Batista has now shown he can defeat Booker and that is going to be enough to set up the main event of No Mercy, or at least get us in that direction.

Posing and trash talking end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a weird period for Smackdown as Batista has lost a lot of his spark and there is nothing on the show that feels important or something that you need to see. There is nothing very good or even that feels worth your time on here and that has been the case for a bit. Smackdown could use some kind of a spark and I don’t see that coming from Vito, Tatanka, and whatever the women are fighting over this time.

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