Taboo Tuesday 2005
Date: November 1, 2005
Location: iPayOne Center, San Diego, California
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler

It’s the second edition of this concept and this time around the card is looking a little better. This show features a double main event of John Cena defending against Kurt Angle and another challenger to be determined (it’s going to be Shawn Michaels), but the bigger match is HHH vs. Ric Flair in a violent grudge match. Flair has begged to be put in a cage and I think you know where this is going. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about power with HHH vs. Ric Flair getting more attention than anything else, as it should.

Joey Styles is proud to make his regular pay per view debut.

The big keyboard stage is a cool visual. Do more stuff like that please.

The first vote is to decide which two Smackdown wrestlers will face Edge and Christ Masters:

Matt Hardy – 31%

Rey Mysterio – 29%

John Bradshaw Layfield – 17%

Christian – 13%

Hardcore Holly – 10%

Other than a match that had been taped in advance, that would be Christian’s last WWE appearance until 2009.

Edge/Chris Masters vs. Matt Hardy/Rey Mysterio

Actually hold on as Lita says Edge isn’t wrestling tonight because he has nothing to gain from this. Here’s the replacement.

Snitsky/Chris Masters vs. Matt Hardy/Rey Mysterio

What a horrifying team. Masters jumps Mysterio from behind to start and Snitsky decks Matt on the floor. We start with Rey in trouble and a pair of referees (one from each show) in the ring. Snitsky’s slam gets two (each that is) so Masters hits a series of backbreakers, including one to bend Rey over his knee. The sitout bulldog is countered with a hard slam down but the chinlock doesn’t last long.

Rey gets the tag off to Matt so the place can pick up, including a Side Effect for two on Snitsky. A superplex (nearly a brainbuster) gives Matt the same with Masters having to make the save. The monsters send Matt hard into the corner though and Masters cranks on the arms to keep him down. Masters gets two off a heck of a clothesline with Rey needing to make a save.

We hit another chinlock before Snitsky goes with something more worthwhile in a hard spinebuster. It’s back to Masters for a front facelock but a missed charge gives Matt a breather. That’s broken up as well though and Snitsky goes with more sending him into the corner. Matt slips over the shoulder and gets in a reverse DDT though and now the hot tag brings in Rey.

Everything breaks down and Rey’s tornado DDT is countered into the Masterlock. Rey kicks off the ropes to flip onto Masters for two, with the Raw referee breaking up the count. Matt and Rey hit stereo dives to the floor, setting up a springboard sunset flip for two on Masters. Back up and Masters grabs a torture rack neckbreaker for the same on Rey with Matt making the save. That’s enough for Masters though and it’s a 619 into the Twist of Fate into the springboard splash for the pin.

Rating: B. The Smackdown team had potential but who would have thought that Masters and Snitsky had that in them? This was a heck of a match with a very hot finish and a much better showcase than I was expecting from these four. You can guarantee that this story isn’t over though and Survivor Series seems to be looming in a nice way.

Mick Foley and Maria’s luggage has gotten switched as Mick has lingerie and Maria has his Mankind mask. Maria: “Interesting smell!” Maria strips off screen and Mick has a nice day (their words).

Eugene needs a partner:

Jimmy Snuka – 43%

Jim Duggan – 40%

Kamala – 17%

Rob Conway/Tyson Tomko vs. Eugene/Jimmy Snuka

Eugene and Tomko start things off with the big bald gladly accepting a test of strength. That earns him alternating thrust chops to the throat but Tomko breaks up the tag to Snuka. Conway is so annoyed that he takes off his sunglasses before elbowing Eugene in the face. The chinlock goes on and a right hand breaks up the comeback attempt. Eugene finally gets in a clothesline on Conway and the diving tag brings in Snuka. The chops are on and everything breaks down. Tomko gets knocked outside and Snuka and Eugene headbutt Conway into a Rock Bottom. The Superfly Splash finishes Conway off.

Rating: D. What else were you expecting here? This was Snuka having little more than a cameo at the end of the match with Eugene working on his own. It’s fine for a short feel good match though and I can’t really get annoyed at that. It wasn’t good, but it did what it was supposed to do.

Post match Tomko goes after Snuka but Kamala and Duggan run in for the save.

Here’s who Carlito will be facing:

Mankind – 52%

Cactus Jack – 35%

Dude Love – 13%

We recap Carlito vs. Mick Foley. Believe it or not, it’s about being cool and apple spitting.

Mankind vs. Carlito

Carlito slugs away to start and hits a dropkick, only to get elbowed in the face. The Tree of Woe elbow connects and they head outside with Mankind grabbing a chair. A drop toehold sends Mankind into the chair into the steps so they head inside with Carlito snapping off a Russian legsweep.

Carlito grabs the rare standing chinlock but Mankind is out fast enough, setting up a double clothesline to put both of them down. It’s Mankind up first to hammer Carlito down in the corner and there’s the running knee to make it worse. The Bang Bang elbow to the floor connects for two back inside and Carlito is reeling. The double arm DDT into the Mandible Claw (Mr. Socko is sporting an afro) to give Mankind the win.

Rating: D. The weirdest part of this: seeing a Mick Foley match that had no stipulations and ended clean. This should tell you a lot about where Carlito is at the moment as he lost the match in pretty short order and to someone who has not been a full time wrestler in several years. It wasn’t the worst but it was little more than a workout for Foley, who didn’t need a win like this.

Vince McMahon comes in to see Eric Bischoff and is annoyed that he missed the Raw vs. Smackdown match. Eric admits that Raw lost and Vince yells at him for messing up. Vince is tired of people like Eric being around here and waiting for Vince to save them. From now on, Bischoff is on his own.

Now we get two matches at once. Here’s who is in the Raw World Title match along with John Cena and Kurt Angle:

Shawn Michaels – 46%

Kane – 38%

Big Show – 16%

Those results also give us this.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Kane/Big Show vs. Trevor Murdoch/Lance Cade

Cade and Murdoch are defending and get knocked around before the bell. Kane beats on Murdoch to start and some running clotheslines make it worse. Murdoch actually gets in his own clothesline and brings Cade in, so Kane drags him over to Show instead. Well so much for that plan. Show comes in for the chop but it’s off to Murdoch, who completely fails with the kicks to Show’s ribs.

Rating: D+. Cade and Murdoch were almost squashed here but what are you expecting against Big Show and Kane? They’re the kind of team who are going to dominate things for a good while and really, who else were Cade and Murdoch supposed to face? The fact that we were less than a month into their reign and they were already at that point isn’t a good sign, but there hasn’t been much good for the Tag Team Titles in a long time.

Post break Murdoch tries to interrupt an interview and gets double chokeslammed as well.

Coach gives Vader and Goldust a pep talk because this could lead to him winning the WWE Championship.

The Divas come out in robes so we can find out what they will be wearing:

Lingerie: 43%

Leather and Lace: 32%

Cheerleaders: 25%

We recap Coach/Goldust/Vader vs. Batista. This was going to be Steve Austin vs. Coach but since Austin isn’t a complete numskull, he walked out before he had to put Coach over. This was going to be about Jim Ross’ job but since Austin isn’t a factor, that has been dropped.

First though, what kind of match are they having:

Street fight: 91%

Verbal debate: 6%

Arm wrestling: 3%

Jonathan Coachman vs. Batista

Non-title and Vader and Goldust are officially in Coach’s corner but they start the match in the ring because they actually understand the rules. Coach hides on the floor while the other two beat Batista down in the corner. That earns Goldust a spear so Coach comes in for some reason, earning himself a knockdown.

Coach’s kendo stick doesn’t work but Vader and Goldust take Batista down for a whipping with a belt. This time though Batista powers up and beats all three of them with the belt (Joey: “Batista is doing to Coach what Coach does to commentary every Monday night!”). With Goldust and Vader down, the Batista Bomb ends Coach in a hurry.

Rating: D. Batista has been presented as smart since his singles push began and he was intelligent again here, earning a pay per view payday for a pretty nothing match. That being said, there was no reason to have it be anything else, with Vader and Goldust being higher level lackeys but still lackeys nonetheless.

Shawn Michaels is ready to win the title but here’s Kurt Angle to say they should team up on John Cena and then find out who the best man is. Shawn will think about it, mainly because it’s not a bad plan.

Women’s Title: Battle Royal

Trish Stratus, Ashley, Candice Michelle, Mickie James, Victoria, Maria

Trish is defending and everyone is in lingerie (Victoria may or may not be, as her gear is close enough). An early Stratusphere attempt almost has Trish eliminated so Mickie makes a save. Maria runs Candice over and poses, but Mickie and Trish toss her out without much trouble. Candice triangle chokes Ashley over the ropes and gets eliminated as well, followed by Trish getting planted by Victoria’s spinning side slam.

Victoria fights off elimination again and catapults Ashley out with ease. Trish and Victoria fight to the apron so Mickie makes another save. The Matrish is broken up with a knee to the ribs but Mickie spears Victoria through the ropes for the sacrificial elimination to retain Trish’s title.

Rating: D. This is a great example of “it was what it was”. There was no point to this one other than the eye candy and that’s all well and good. Trish and Mickie are at least having some kind of a story and that’s more than what you would usually get int his division. You can only run Trish vs. Victoria so many times and we are long past that point. Not a good match from a quality standpoint, but I have no idea why you would expect one.

Post match Mickie cuts off Trish’s interview to talk about how awesome Trish is. Trish seems annoyed as she leaves.

We recap HHH vs. Ric Flair for the Intercontinental Title in what might as well be the real main event. HHH came back from a hiatus and destroyed Flair, because he thought Flair was settling for mediocrity when Flair was happy being Intercontinental Champion. The attack sent Flair over the edge and he was his old self again, swearing revenge against HHH. Flair has begged for a cage match and I think you know where this is going.

So where is this going?

Steel cage: 83%

Submission match: 13%

One fall to a finish: 4%

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. HHH

Flair is defending in a cage. They stare each other down to start until the first chop in the corner annoys HHH. Flair fights out of the other corner and isn’t taking anything from HHH early on. A spinebuster works much better for HHH and he sends Flair into the cage to bust him open (that took longer than I thought). HHH’s look at Flair of “I have to do this” is great and he makes it better by raking his face over the cage.

The knee pad is lowered and, after a WOO, the bare knee hits Flair’s head. HHH goes up top to escape but Flair makes the stop and chops away in the corner. That means a double crotching and they’re both down again. HHH goes up top again and finds a chain, only to dive into a raised boot. Flair tries a quick Figure Four but gets punched with the chain for two. Flair is COVERED in blood so HHH hammers away in the corner, setting up the Flair Flop.

The Figure Four makes Flair scream but he flips HHH off and turns it over. Another Figure Four attempt is kicked into the cage and HHH is busted this time. That wakes Flair up and he unloads on HHH, including a big bite of the forehead. Lawler: “It’s getting a little bit easier to watch!” The head is raked across the cage and a knee drop to the head connects as Flair is doing everything HHH did to him. It’s time to go after the leg as only Flair can, including the Figure Four.

HHH finally sends the referee into Flair for the break so Flair goes up….and hits the shot to the head for two. That always feels special, as does Flair’s signature HARD low blow. Flair goes to the door with HHH making the save, though Flair does bring a chair back in with him. A testicular claw lets Flair hammer away and he backdrops HHH onto the chair, followed by a shot to HHH’s head. Some more chair shots to the head have fans gasping and Flair escapes through the door to retain in an upset.

Rating: A-. I’ve seen this match a few times before and it keeps getting better. This was an amazing story of HHH beating Flair down and giving him everything he had but drawing out the legendary Flair for one more night. It was a situation of “I taught you everything you know, but I didn’t teach you everything I know” and the violence made it even better. Outstanding stuff here and I loved every bit of it despite not being a huge Flair fan.

We have a new record for Taboo Tuesday voting, smashing that whole one other time they’ve done this. Years later, WWE would probably include talking heads bragging about it in a documentary.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels

Cena is defending and Angle knocks Shawn outside so he can go after the champ. That earns Angle a suplex for one as Shawn is right back in for a save. Shawn stomps Cena down and covers Angle for two as Cena makes a save of his own. Everyone hits everyone else until Cena backdrops Angle over the top. Shawn’s clothesline puts Cena in the corner but Angle is back in for the German suplexes.

No one can hit a finisher so Shawn and Angle get together and pound Cena down. Cena gets sent shoulder first into the post and out to the floor but instead of fighting each other, the other two follow him out. There goes the Spanish announcers’ table and now it’s time for Shawn vs. Angle. Shawn gets hammered in the corner and a suplex gives Angle two. The bodyscissors keeps Shawn in trouble and Angle throws on a chinlock for a bonus.

Shawn turns around to escape so Angle runs him over without much trouble. Angle gets knocked off the top but runs the corner for the super Angle Slam and two more. It’s Cena back in for the high impact clotheslines to both with the second putting Angle on the floor. The Shuffle is broken up as Angle pulls Cena outside so Shawn hits a big flip dive onto Angle for a huge crash.

Everyone gets back in and Shawn forearms Cena down but Angle suplexes him to the floor again. Cena is back up with the Shuffle to Angle but the FU is countered into the ankle lock. The grapevine even goes on until Shawn takes way too much time to make the save via the top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music hits Angle but Shawn walks into the FU to retain Cena’s title.

Rating: B. This was much more about Shawn vs. Angle but Cena did well enough to make things work well on his end. At the end of the day, Cena is very good but he’s not at this level yet and it’s ok to have the other two do most of the heavier lifting. It’s a heck of a match though and Cena getting another big win will only enhance his star power, which is what matters the most right now.

Cena can’t stand on the ankle to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The opener and two main events carry this thing and make up for the horrible middle section, which was little more than a disaster. In other words, if this was an In Your House, it could have been a near classic. What we got was good enough as the middle section is full of short matches, but the cage match is great and the main event worked well. The gimmick still doesn’t work very well and the Tuesday thing adds nothing, but the good matches made this work rather well.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Taboo Tuesday 2004
Date: October 19, 2004
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is one of the more unique shows that WWE ever put together with the fans getting to pick the stipulations/participants/a few other things for the matches. This has presented a bit of a hard few weeks of TV as they don’t have specific matches to set up as everything has some kind of a twist included. Hopefully the finished product works a bit better. Oh and it’s on a Tuesday, which worked so well back in 1991 that they waited thirteen years to try it again. Let’s get to it.

By the way: the Bradley Center can hold about 18,000 people for wrestling. This really isn’t screaming good idea.

The opening video is about how the wrestlers have no control tonight. That works fine on paper, but when you consider how one sided some of the options are, it doesn’t hold up as well.

The set is rather cool with the stage looking like a keyboard. I miss these unique sets and you almost never get them anymore.

Coach is our emcee for the voting and we get to the important part first: the outfits for the women’s battle royal:

School Girls – 53%

French Maids – 30%

Nurses – 17%

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. ???

Jericho is defending and we see all of the options in the back, with some of them being laughable at best. Here are the results:

Shelton Benjamin – 37%

Batista – 20%

Jonathan Coachman – 7%

Christian – 7%

Rhyno – 6%

Maven – 4%

William Regal – 4%

Hurricane – 4%

Tyson Tomko – 2%

Tajiri – 2%

Steven Richards – 2%

Val Venis – 2%

Rosey – 1%

Chuck Palumbo – 1%

Rodney Mack – 1%

There were three realistic options and two of them finished first and second (Christian being that low is a bit of a surprise but maybe fans were just sick of seeing that match). Jericho armdrags him down to start but gets armdragged right into an armbar. Some loud chops in the corner get Jericho out of trouble so Shelton backdrops him to the floor instead.

Back in and Jericho is fine enough to get two off the running enziguri, followed by a suplex into the arrogant cover gets the same. A backbreaker has Benjamin’s back bent over Jericho’s knee as the fans aren’t sure what to do here. Jericho gets caught going up and it’s a top rope superplex to get us right back to even.

The Dragon Whip gets two but Jericho scores with the running bulldog. The Lionsault misses and Shelton gets up for the top rope clothesline in another near fall. Shelton misses the Stinger Splash and a very long Lionsault connects for a delayed two. Back up and Jericho comes off the middle rope but dives right into the exploder suplex to give Benjamin the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. It took some time to get going but the last part worked well enough. Shelton needed to win something months ago so this is pretty overdue but at least they finally pulled the trigger and put him over completely clean. Jericho was really just keeping the title warm for someone anyway and it gives the fans something to cheer for early on. Also, it’s about time that they push someone to a title like this so hopefully it works out for him.

Post match Jericho takes the title, hands it back to him, and raises Shelton’s hand.

Edge says he should get the World Title match because he won the triple threat last night.

Chris Benoit promises to make HHH tap. Vote for him if you’re sick of Evolution and HHH running Raw.

Shawn Michaels says he isn’t asking for sympathy and he’s legitimately injured with a torn meniscus. Whatever is left in his knee, he’ll leave out in the ring.

And none of these speeches matter because here are the results:

Shawn Michaels – 39%

Edge – 33%

Chris Benoit – 28%

At least none of them got destroyed. That means Edge and Benoit will get a Tag Team Title shot tonight instead. Edge walks off in disgust as Benoit shakes Shawn’s hand.

Women’s Title: Battle Royal

Trish Stratus, Victoria, Gail Kim, Molly Holly, Nidia, Stacy Keibler, Jazz

Trish is defending, they’re all schoolgirls and you can be eliminated by going through the ropes. Everyone gets their own entrance to show off a bit, sending Lawler through the roof when Stacy comes out. I mean to be fair, she’s kind of made for this match. They brawl in near slow motion to start with Jazz beating everyone up and Nidia losing her top as she gets thrown out.

Victoria baseball slides Jazz out and blocks a hurricanrana to get rid of Gail to get us down to four. Stacy does her kicks and leg choke in the corner on Trish as creepy fans take pictures of the skirts flying up. A double suplex sends Stacy and Victoria to the apron but they get back in without much trouble. Victoria gets catapulted out and the fans start cheering for Stacy. The double teaming begins until Stacy kicks them both in the face and sends Trish to the apron. That’s not enough for an elimination and Molly gets rid of Stacy, only to get dumped by Trish to retain the title.

Rating: D. We’ll call this one “well what else were you expecting”. The wrestling wasn’t the point here and that’s not a bad thing for a match like this. I was worried they would go insane and make Stacy champion but thankfully common sense held strong. The girls looked great but that’s about all this had going for it, which is kind of the most important thing.

La Resistance doesn’t like the idea of just finding out who they’re facing and it’s another example of the unfair American voting system. They’re wrestling this match under protest. Todd Grisham actually remembers his history and brings up La Resistance taking the titles from Edge and Benoit in the first place.

We recap Kane vs. Gene Snitsky. Lita slept with Kane to save Matt Hardy and got pregnant as a result. Snitsky debuted and knocks Kane into Lita, causing her to lose the baby. Kane was distraught and is swearing revenge tonight where the fans get to choose the weapon. The most interesting thing here is Snitsky turning into the best built up monster heel in years as he actually did something evil and had some good insults after. Now as long as he wins here, they might have something.

Kane vs. Snitsky

They need a legal weapon, so here are the results:

Chain – 41%

Chair – 30%

Lead Pipe – 29%

Kind of weird as the chair and pipe have been used while the chain hasn’t been a factor at all. Lita actually comes out with Kane as the slow face turn continues. They get in an early tug of war over the chain, which Kane throws outside. Right hands in the corner have Snitsky in early trouble and the threat of a chokeslam sends him outside. Now we can have the chain but Snitsky takes it away, only to get caught with an uppercut.

Snitsky uses the chain to pull Kane into the post and it’s time to choke with the chain inside. Kane’s comeback is cut off with elbows and clotheslines. Some whips with the chain set up a choke, which just seems to annoy Kane more than anything else. Back up and Kane slugs away with a big boot giving us a double knockdown.

Snitsky is up first and goes for the chain but Lita takes it away. The chokeslam is broken up with right hands so Kane sends him over the top. A dropkick to the steps sends them into Kane’s knees and there’s a chair to his throat. Choking with the chair keeps Kane down and Snitsky actually Pillmanizes his throat. Kane is bleeding from the mouth but Snitsky, being a good monster, covers him anyway before the medics can come in to help.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was your usual garbage brawling but the point here is how awesome Snitsky is getting over as a monster. I know he has a very firm ceiling above him, but it’s nice to see them actually getting someone over. Raw has needed fresh blood for a long time now and Snitsky is certainly better than nothing.

The medics take their time helping Kane as Lita actually looks concerned. Snitsky continues being awesome by turning the stretcher over on the stage.

Edge is furious over not getting the title shot over a broken down has been. He cares about the Tag Team Titles (he’s held them ten times) but they’re a consolation prize and that’s not good enough for him.

Coach goes over the stipulations for Eric Bischoff vs. Eugene, but we won’t hear the results until after it’s done.

Eric Bischoff vs. Eugene

Bischoff is in his karate gear and Eugene plays with the hair clippers, the dress and the butler mannequin. Eric is smart enough to jump him from behind and kicks away but a ram into the corner wakes Eugene up. A fake knee injury lets Bischoff try a kick to the head, which just earns him some punches to his own head. The jacket comes off and Bischoff gets caught in a very long airplane spin. A big boot and the legdrop finishes Bischoff in a hurry.

Coach reluctantly shows us the results:

Loser wears a dress – 21%

Coach knows this isn’t good and appeals to the fans to change their minds. He’s going to use his authority and change the decision to Bischoff being Eugene’s servant for five minutes. Actually hang on as here’s Vince to disagree. He heard what the fans said and they’re in charge on Taboo Tuesday. Bischoff tries to leave so Vince threatens to fire him. Eugene gets to do the shaving and that’s almost too much for Bischoff, with Coach talking him back into the chair. The cutting begins with Bischoff screaming that he’ll never forgive Eugene for this in a nice bonus.

Coach tries to leave but Vince isn’t happy with what he tried to pull. Therefore, he better take off his clothes because he’s wearing this dress. Vince makes sure that Coach button up because he doesn’t want a “s***”. The haircut continues and the gray roots come out, sending Vince into hysterics that Bischoff dyes his hair. Vince wraps it up as this took WAY longer than it needed to, though Vince’s antics and funny lines made it a lot more bearable.

Shawn is getting his knee taped up when Edge comes in to rant about how unfair this is. Michaels should have dropped out of this because Edge would have won. He’s nailing these angry promos so far.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Edge/Chris Benoit

La Resistance is defending in a likely unintentional rematch. Grenier sings O Canada in French and the patriotic Edge and Benoit don’t interrupt. Edge pounds away at Conway in the corner to start and brings Benoit in to work on the chest. The first suplex is enough to bring Edge back in but this time Conway sends him into the corner. The champs take over with an assortment of forearms and choking until Edge knocks Conway off.

Hang on though as Edge needs to go outside and yell at fans as his frustrations continue. Another suplex gives Benoit two and it’s time for the chops. Edge knocks Conway off the apron and everyone winds up on the floor with Edge winding up back in trouble. We hit the chinlock back inside, followed by Conway stomping away. Grenier waves the flag as the announcers talk about Milwaukee culture because this match is really boring.

A big boot finally gets Edge out of trouble and it’s back to Benoit for more chopping as the energy just isn’t here. Grenier wastes no time in sending Benoit chest first into the buckle as the villains take over again. Benoit gets out of trouble with a release German suplex but we get the missed tag to keep Edge out. Actually that’s enough for Edge as he walks to the back (makes sense) to make this a handicap match.

Edge even leaves the arena as Grenier slaps on the chinlock in the ring. We even see the car pulling off as the hold continues. Benoit fights up and hits a top rope superplex on Grenier so it’s back to Conway. The Au Revoir is broken up and Conway is sent into Grenier to knock him to the floor. Some German suplexes set up the Crossface and Conway taps to make Benoit and Edge champions.

Rating: D. I’ve never liked this match as it just keeps going far too long when they could have done the same thing in about five minutes without missing much. La Resistance look like the biggest losers ever, though it’s not like they meant anything in the first place so the title change is actually a bit of a good idea. Let Edge get somewhere off the mega heel turn as La Resistance losing doesn’t exactly end some mega reign.

HHH thinks this whole thing is stupid and doesn’t buy the knee injury. He’ll make the injury real by the end of the night.

We look back at Shawn’s knee injury and how much it messed him up last night.

We recap Christy Hemme vs. Carmella because that’s something we need to do. Christy won the Diva Search and since there’s nothing else for Christy to do, we’re having a non-match here for Christy’s first win.

Coach is still in a dress as he announces the stipulations for the “match”:

Lingerie Pillow Fight – 57%

Evening Gown – 33%

Aerobics Challenge – 10%

Christy Hemme vs. Carmella

They both come out and disrobe behind somewhat see-through screens (you can see their shadows). We get quite a bit of time on the disrobing with Christy basically stripping and Carmella having to be told to get closer to the screen. For some reason Carmella gets to the ring nearly a minute before Christy as this just keeps going.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is challenging with a bad knee and somehow, THIS MATCH doesn’t get a recap video. There’s a nine hour DVD’s worth of history between these two and it doesn’t even get a thirty second video after ten minutes of getting ready for a pillow fight? Shawn, who comes out second, takes a long time to limp down to ringside and even longer to kneel in the aisle. Just to kill more time, we get a weapons check, which is a nice thing to see for the sake of old school wrestling after the mess we just saw.

HHH slowly backs him into the corner and the referee makes him back off as JR snaps on Lawler for thinking Shawn is faking it, ranting about how Lawler needs to stop thinking about puppies and underwear all the time. Completely fair point and something that always makes me smile. Shawn tries to fight defensively but gets hit in the knee to put him in real trouble.

The slow motion beating begins with HHH punching away and hitting the knee a few times, which makes perfect sense but there’s only so much they can do under the circumstances. HHH bends the knee and we hit the Figure Four (you knew that one was coming). Shawn has to beg the referee not to stop it and, after two minutes in the hold, makes the rope for the break. The leg is pulled to the post but Shawn uses the good leg to send HHH into the post for his first major shot.

Back in and a catapult sends HHH into the post again and they’re both down. An atomic drop isn’t the brightest move so Shawn hits three of them in a row and a clothesline finally puts the champ down. Shawn gets in a low blow and a big DDT, followed by an understandably messy top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music is loaded up and, after dealing with an interfering Batista, takes HHH down. Batista distracts the referee though and Edge comes back in to spear Shawn (Edge: “IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!”) to give HHH the retaining pin.

Rating: C. I can’t get mad at this match as they didn’t have another option. Shawn could barely walk and you can’t fault the logic. It wouldn’t have made any sense for someone as smart as HHH to work on anything but the knee so it was the only way they could go. Edge interfering at least got something out of it and Shawn tried as hard as he could on one leg. It wasn’t exciting, but they did as well as they could under the circumstances.

Post match Shawn gets the hero’s sendoff. He wouldn’t wrestle again until January.

Bischoff, now with short gray hair, yells at people in case they make fun of him. Bischoff: “I’ll fire you! I haven’t even hired you yet but I’ll fire you!”

We recap the night so far to fill in time. I’d bet Shawn vs. HHH was scheduled for WAY longer so it’s about all they can do. Aside from just having Shelton vs. Jericho go longer or something, as two of the matches didn’t even combine for four minutes. The recap eats up the better part of eight minutes.

We recap Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton. After losing the World Title, Orton started calling out Flair for being a lackey to HHH instead of a legend. Flair said that Orton wasn’t a real legend killer because he was the only real legend in wrestling. This led to Flair teasing a face turn for about an hour before attacking Orton all over again. The idea for tonight is Flair trying to be his old self one more time, which he could actually pull off. The fans want to cheer Flair at the moment though so hopefully they’re given the chance here. It feels like a filler feud before Orton can get back to HHH, but the promos have been good.

Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton

There are two real options here so here are the results:

Steel Cage – 68%

Falls Count Anywhere – 20%

Submission – 12%

Coach: “It is absolutely unanimous!” Coach doesn’t know what unanimous means. I’d have bet on falls count anywhere getting a bigger share but this was the best choice. You can win by pinfall, submission or escape. Orton wastes no time (we’ve done enough of that tonight) and starts punching so Flair chops right back. Flair takes his required backdrop but he’s up on the ropes to thumb Orton in the eye and knock him down.

There’s a low blow and a ram into the cage to draw some rather early blood. Flair drops a knee to the head as Lawler and JR compare the voting to the Presidential election. Orton sends him into the cage and hammers at the head to draw blood (well duh) and Flair’s trunks go down as he tries to climb the cage. Flair gets crotched to make it even worse but he low blows his way out of the corner. That just earns him a face rake against the cage and a dropkick to send him into the steel.

Rating: B. The blood helped a lot here as Flair tried to turn back the clock and came pretty close, but just wasn’t able to overcome the younger star. Orton got a nice win though it’s not exactly a game changer or anything. This feud wasn’t the strongest in the world to start and while the match was good, it’s not like it’s anything more than a filler feud until Orton can go for the title again.

Post match they shake hands with Flair dropping to a knee. A hug and stare end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Good opener and better main event aside, this did not work as a concept and would have been much better off as a special episode of Raw. There’s way too much down time for the results and a lot of the matches were short for the sake of pre or post match shenanigans. It’s far from the worst show they’ve ever done but it’s much more a case of an idea that works on paper but not at all in practice.

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Taboo Tuesday 2005
Date: November 1, 2005
Location: iPayOne Center, San Diego, California
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler

We’re back for the final one of these Tuesday shows before we switch to the traditional Sunday. This is again a Raw show and is based around Cena vs. Angle vs. a person the fans will pick. The other good match on here is HHH vs. Flair for the IC Title where you pick the stips. Flair begged for it to be a cage match so what do you think was picked? Other than that there’s an interesting deal with Austin that we’ll get to later on. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about having power, which involves being a military general for some reason.

Edge and Masters come out before we had a chance to even have Jerry and Joey say who they are. Todd Grisham is the host just like last year. This is Raw vs. Smackdown and we get to pick the two Smackdown guys to be in the match. The choices are Christian (his contract was up and he showed up here and I think tomorrow on Raw as a courtesy before heading to TNA for about four years), Matt Hardy, Hardcore Holly, JBL and Rey Mysterio with Matt and Rey winning by wide margins.

Matt Hardy/Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Masters/Edge

This was during the Hardy vs. Edge war. Masters was a monster at this point but didn’t mean much. The keyboard on the stage is all random and isn’t anywhere near what a traditional one looks like. Rey as the hometown boy gets a huge pop. Something I hadn’t realized: Eddie died 12 days after this. Edge says he has nothing to prove here so he’s not wrestling.

Matt Hardy/Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Masters/Snitsky

Yeah this isn’t a bait and switch in the slightest. We have two referees in there too which is kind of odd. Rey gets a small package and both go for counts, resulting in an argument. It’s weird hearing commentators say last night and refer to Raw. Rey goes for that body scissors into the bulldog and they botch it. My guess would be Masters botched it but whatever.

Matt comes in to a bigger pop than Rey got which is really weird. Side Effect is called a Uranage by Joey. Matt kind of botches a top rope something and it turns into a DDT for two. This is sloppy beyond reason. Maybe it’s the Tuesday thing but with two of them being Smackdown guys this should be normal for them. I’m not sure if I get the idea of bringing in Smackdown but whatever.

Joey is only here for one night since Coach is wrestling and JR was fired due to some overly complicated storyline involving the McMahons that we’ll get to later. Now the fans want Christian. Dang they’re greedy in San Diego. Matt is working the majority here to set up the hot tag to Rey. There it is and Rey cleans house. Well most of it at least since he can’t reach the top shelves.

Masterlock goes onto Rey though and Rey is in trouble. He kicks off the corner and lands on Masters for a cover but the referees mess things up again. A pair of top rope dives take out the heels and a springboard sunset flip gets two. Masters does a spinning rack into a neckbreaker which is a move I’ve always kind of liked. 619 into the Twist of Fate into a springboard splash ends this.

Rating: C+. Not a great match but for an opener this worked pretty well. Rey and Matt are both popular guys and got the crowd going rather well. Edge not being in there is kind of crap and the double referee thing was overkill for sure. They really messed up with Matt though as he could have been a big deal but they just botched it. Not bad though.

Foley is in the back with Maria who is in his Mankind mask and he’s got her lingerie for later. Nudity allegedly ensues.

Ah apparently Edge was legit injured. If that happened on Raw or something that’s fine then.

Time to pick Eugene’s Legend partner. The choices are Kamala, Snuka and Duggan with the guy that dove off a cage winning barely over Duggan. I’m not bothering with the percentages this time.

Rob Conway/Tyson Tomko vs. Eugene/Jimmy Snuka

Conway was a cocky guy with a legend hating gimmick which was dumb since Orton had just gotten done doing that. So is the mentally slow guy supposed to carry this team? Snuka looks out of shape here, nearly three and a half years before he was at Mania last year. Eugene and Tomko start us off and we’re already into the comedy portion as Eugene does the one hand up one hand down routine for the Test of Strength.

Conway wears his sunglasses during the match. Ok then. Eugene and Conway were more or less the most dominant tag team in the history of OVW, winning like 9 tag titles. Jimmy is going to be on the outside for the most part here due to a high level of old. There’s the hot tag to him anyway and Snuka just looks confused. Then again he looked that way in his prime.

The faces play ping pong with Conway using headbutts. Eugene hits a Rock Bottom and the splash ends it after about 15 seconds of setting up. Tomko gets back from writing his novel or whatever he spent the last few minutes doing and Kamala and Duggan make the save. At least they kept it short.

Rating: D. This was a bad match but what did you expect? We knew Snuka would win with the splash but seriously, was Tomko the best they had available as a partner? He had nothing to do with this feud or angle or anything like that. This was a glorified handicap match that just wasn’t interesting at all. Like I said though, at least it was short.

Ad for the Taker Tombstone DVD, which I’ve never seen.

We determine which persona Foley will fight Carlito in. Mankind more or less dominates it, setting up this.

Carlito vs. Mankind

As Carlito makes his debut they plug Survivor Series in Detroit and they spell Joe Louis Arena as Joe Lewis instead. I know this place was bad back in this era but come on now. Foley had been a guest on Carlito’s Cabana and said Carlito wasn’t cool. This did result in us getting one of Foley’s awesome morphing promos where he starts as Love then shirts to Jack and then Mankind, which shows just how versatile Foley is.

Carlito is just such a waste of talent. He could have been awesome but was so painfully lazy in the ring that there was no choice but to get rid of him. It’s all Foley to start and we go to the floor. Foley even throws in a baseball slide of all things. Carlito takes over by slamming Mankind’s head into a chair and we’re clearly in a formula here which is ok.

Double clothesline and both guys go down. Mankind starts Social Outcasting Up and a Cactus Clothesline takes us to the floor where we get an elbow on top of that. Double Arm DDT and Socko end this. It never ceases to amaze me how Foley can use like 5 moves and have such a successful career.

Rating: D+. Pretty bad match here and I’m not sure if I get the idea of having Carlito job to a guy with Foley’s stature. I know Foley has had matches that mean more than Carlito’s entire career but I’m not sure I get the logic behind him going over. Although to be fair, the idea of Carlito pinning Mick’s corpse just sounds wrong. Maybe this was the right idea after all.

Vince arrives and wants to hear about the Raw vs. Smackdown match of all things. He jumps down Eric’s throat for losing the match and Eric blames Teddy Long who is relatively new as GM of Smackdown. Vice yells at him and tells him to get it together.

We pick the third guy in the main event tonight: Kane, Big Show or Shawn. Gee I wonder who is going to win this. Kane gets a surprising 38% but it pales in comparison to Shawn’s 46. Kane and Show get a lovely parting gift.

Raw Tag Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Big Show/Kane

Few quick notes here. Joey says they’re two tough Texans but are billed from Nashville. Also Lillian says they weigh 501. Not 501 pounds but just 501, as in she said five oh one. Not even five hundred and one. Just weird. Show has a beard here and Lillian slips up on HIS intro too. What is going on here? Murdoch starts with Kane and isn’t happy about it.

This is one sided so far and now I’d expect that to change just as I say it. Murdoch kicks Show a bit and that doesn’t work in the slightest. Can Show do anything other than chop? Kane goes for a big boot and somehow manages to hit Cade in the lower back. How are there so many mistakes in one single show? Murdoch shoves Kane to the floor off the top to finally give the champions an advantage.

Kane gets beaten down for awhile and then sits up just because he can. The champions just can’t threaten Show and Kane in the slightest. Show comes in to a lukewarm tag and after some domination, a double chokeslam to Cade ends this. Show gets interviewed afterwards but has to stop for a double chokeslam on Murdoch for fun.

Rating: D+. The lack of drama really hurt this as it was painfully obvious that the titles were changing. Like Kane and Show had any chance of losing here. I mean really did you expect otherwise? This was one of the staples of the show but it became pretty clear nothing would happen from it. Their reign lasted like 5 months and the next reign after theirs would end at the next one in this series.

Vader and Goldust are here. I guess I better explain since I’m going to have to in a bit anyway. So Ross had been fired for laughing at Austin stunning the McMahons at Raw Homecoming and Linda of all people fired him. Austin was going to have a match for Ross’ job against Coach (who brought in Vader and Goldust for no apparent reason to help him) and was booked to lose.

He left, not to be seen again for about five months. Batista was brought in and the Ross aspect was dropped. The firing (Ross actually was having health problems) was why Joey was here also. He would call Raw until May when he did a worked shoot where he bashed WWE, resulting in him taking over as commentator for the revived ECW the following June.

The Fantasy Battle Royal for the Divas will be in lingerie of course.

We recap the Austin being replaced by Batista thing where Austin leaving was blamed on an “accident”.

The choices are street fight, arm wrestling or verbal debate. Moving on.

Batista vs. Jonathan Coachman

Vader and Goldust are just with Coach here and aren’t actual participants. Vader is embarrassingly fat here. The street fight breaks 90% which is relatively low all things considered. Batista is Smackdown Champion here as if we needed any more assurance of the destruction here. The lackeys are in the ring too but it’s not like it really matters. This is back when Batista is still one of the hottest things in the world and just a freaking machine.

Goldust gets a kendo stick and beats up Big Dave with it and coach grabs a belt from the timekeeper. Batista gets loose after being whipped and it’s whipping time all over again as Batista of course destroys everything in sight, even managing what was supposed to be a spinebuster on Vader but he’s just too fat. Batista gets him up the second time though and it’s decent considering the size of that fat. Batista Bomb kills Coach to end it.

Rating: N/A. Given one week to set this up, this was about as good as it was going to get. Batista is no Austin, but then again who is? At least they got a big star to fill in which is as nice as they could have done. This was all on Austin and WWE did what they could for once, which is a very rare sight for them.

Shawn, who has won the main event vote twice in a row now, says he’s going to win. Angle, looking like he’s physically ill, comes up and says they don’t like each other but they agree they don’t like Cena. An alliance is offered and Shawn says he’ll think about it.

Raw Women’s Title: Battle Royal

Trish Stratus, Ashley Massaro, Mickie James, Maria, Candice Michelle, Victoria

They’re in lingerie and Trish comes in as champion. Mickie is brand new here and crazy/lesbian to an extent. The fact that they’re usually in lingerie makes this kind of stupid but Trish in underwear never gets old. What kind of battle royal has six people in it? Mickie saves Trish and there’s of course no flow or structure to speak of here. Joey says you have to go over the top and Maria of course goes through the ropes to get rid of her.

Candice does her stupid Go Daddy dance on the apron and Ashley drills her and we’re down to four. Victoria puts Ashley out and this needs to end. And then after Mickie saves Trish a few times she and Victoria go out at the same time. This was awful. Mickie steals the interview time by saying how great Trish is. She was really good at this psycho girl.

Rating: N/A. This was about the girls being hot and that pretty much worked but considering the clothes they usually wear, this is nothing special.

For buying Taboo Tuesday you get a month free of 24/7 online. Not bad.

We recap HHH vs. Flair. HHH had been gone after losing a Cell match vs. Batista. He came back for a tag with Flair and of course turned on him afterwards. The explanation was that HHH gave Flair another chance at greatness but it was only by association. That makes sense and is a solid reason for a match. Simple stories sometimes are the best choices and this is a prime example of that.

Flair begged to make this a cage match and of course that’s what it is. The other options are one fall to a finish, as in a regular match, submission or cage. Cage of course breaks 80% to win.

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. HHH

Flair is champion here and while HHH said it was mediocrity for Flair, he doesn’t mind trying to win the title. Some have called this Flair’s last great match, although I think that was before the Shawn match at Mania. It’s pin/submission/escape here. HHH sits on top of the cage to do the water spit. For some reason I can’t take this serious as a blood feud considering Flair is all in pink. Ah good the tights are black and the boots are red. I can live with that.

Flair drops a very audible F Bomb and says give me your best freaking shot. Chops vs. punches begin here and HHH is in trouble, although it’s a minute in so far. Flair can really only throw chops here but then again it’s relatively early in it. He’s the first one to go into the cage and he’s of course busted badly. I love when he’s on the mat and screaming for mercy. It’s hilarious for some reason.

HHH rakes his face across the steel and is in complete control here. With Flair leaning against the cage, HHH hits a running splash. Yes that’s correct and it looked painful. Flair is bleeding a gusher and the fans begin to cheer for him. Both guys get crotched as Flair stops HHH from leaving. HHH gets a chain from somewhere which I think he had stashed on the cage.

It’s been about 80/20 HHH in control thus far. Flair can curse with the best of them. HHH gets the Figure Four on Flair as this is probably going to go for a long time. The third F Bomb in about twelve minutes is uttered and Flair gets to the ropes for the break. Yep in a cage match. I can’t stand rules like that at times. HHH gets busted open and it wakes Flair up somehow.

This is a bloodbath for the most part and some idiot has to chant boring despite this being a good match so far. Flair goes after the bad knee of HHH that was torn up in 2001. Flair gets the Figure Four and HHH is in trouble. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Flair looks horrible as the hold is broken. He hits the top rope shot, which is a jumping chop/punch.

Flair almost gets out but is stopped, not before he gets a chair though. He did this last year and I never got why. Flair grabs HHH by the balls to stop a beatdown though. That’s always an odd move. Some chair shots to the head of HHH and Flair actually wins this clean. He looks mostly dead but he won it.

Rating: B. I can’t go higher than that for some reason but this was a great match. It was old school Flair here as he just went insane to beat HHH here which isn’t something you see out of him in this era. This was a very old school style match where it was more about violence than escape or anything like that.

The idea was for Flair to get one last hurrah, but it kind of makes HHH look pathetic that he can’t beat Flair at this age. Still though, by far the best match of the night. HHH gets cheered as he’s carried out.

Ad for the Mania Anthology, which really was awesome to have finally.

Raw World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

This is really about Shawn vs. Angle but they needed another guy in there I guess since Vince needs his triple threat. This is also about starting up Cena vs. Angle since Jericho retired and that was the big feud for Cena at the time. This is Cena’s first title reign, having won it at Mania from JBL in what should have been a longer match.

This is also a very different Cena as he’s still kind of a glorified midcarder without the luster about him. Batista is by far the bigger star at this point and Cena could be the weakest guy in this match. He might not even have the STFU yet.

It’s your usual match to start us off as everyone controls for a little bit. The whole team up thing mentioned earlier is thrown out within ten seconds. Kurt starts throwing people all over the place and gets Shawn’s ankle. Finishers are countered early on and Cena gets some near falls. They double team him and the fans get hyped over it for the first time in a good while.

The destruction of Cena begins and he goes through the announce table. Angle and Shawn start hammering on each other as we’re REALLY into the formula part here. Shawn vs. Angle is always worth seeing though so I can’t complain at all here. They do their usual great match for about five minutes while Cena regains life on the floor. Running Angle Slam from the top gets two.

Cena pops back up and cleans house with those shoulder blocks. I love moves like those where you just throw yourself into the other person. How can you block something like that? Shawn takes over now and I’d expect Kurt to do the same very soon. Angle pops a belly to belly over the top in a great looking spot. Cena goes insane as he’s known to do but winds up in the ankle lock.

Two kicks don’t break the hold and the leg lace is on. Shawn of course takes the long way to break it up, dropping an elbow so that Cena is in the hold for like a minute straight. Kurt gets kicked and then Cena pops up for the FU on Shawn to retain. Good to see that ankle heel in less than 30 seconds.

Rating: B-. If there as a B- – it would get that. When a match’s longest segment is Shawn vs. Angle it’s pretty clearly going to be good. This definitely wasn’t bad but there was never any real drama to it as Shawn and Angle were clearly going to cancel each other out. This got the ball rolling on Angle vs. Cena which was the title match at Survivor Series. Good match, but the selling by Cena hurt the ending a lot in my eyes.

Overall Rating: D. This show was pretty bad. The cage match is good and if you’re a fan of old school style or Flair it’s worth checking out, but it’s an acquired taste. The main event is pretty good but it’s nothing we haven’t see a dozen other times. Overall, this show comes off as unnecessary.

Other than Flair winning the match which didn’t end the feud and the new tag champions, nothing of note comes out of this and the title switch could have been at any show. This just didn’t need to happen and wasn’t that good. It picked up a bit with the shift to Sundays but other than that it just never was worth the time. Take a pass.

 

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Taboo Tuesday 2004
Date: October 19, 2004
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Well here we are. It’s Raw only here so of course HHH is world champion. His opponent tonight is one of the options: Benoit, Edge or HBK, with the losers getting a tag title shot. The other main event is Flair vs. Orton where it’s either a cage, submissions or falls count anywhere. Flair here goes 12 years between main eventing PPVs which is an impressive feat. Other than that this is a fairly weak time for the company as we’re waiting on Cena and Batista to break through the ceiling but that wouldn’t be for another 7 months or so. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the fans getting to pick things tonight and the wrestlers having next to no control of any of this. This should have always been a three hour Raw supershow instead of on PPV.

The arena is like EMPTY, with the upper half and even middle deck mostly tarped off.

Coach is MC tonight and we’re ready to go. We start with picking what the Divas will wear in the Fulfill Your Fantasy Battle Royal. They’re standing on a huge keyboard which is a nice touch. The options are nurses, French maids or schoolgirls.

Nurses – 17%
Maids – 30%
Schoolgirls – 53%

That’s for later though. The first match we’re going to see is for the IC Title. The winner gets Jericho and I’m not listing 15 people and 15 percentages. Ten of them are bottom of the card guys (Rodney Mack, Rosey etc). We’ll go with the top 3 instead. Coach lists off all 15 just to fill in time. Val Venis was supposed to be in this but was injured so Coach is in it instead.

Shelton Benjamin – 37%
Batista – 20%
Coach – 7%

According to Wiki, the next closest was Christian, but this was a total landslide.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Jericho

This was just after Shelton had come to Raw and beaten HHH in three matches but got hurt. This is his big return. Jericho gets backdropped over the top and might have hurt his back. He was in a big funk at this point as he had no direction whatsoever. He also had the medium length hair and it looked horrible. Running enziguri gets two and the Canadian takes over.

He works on the back as there’s not a lot of direction to this at all. The crowd being painfully small isn’t helping much either, but that could have something to do with the show being on a Tuesday night. Both guys work on the others’ back with Jericho hitting a backbreaker and Benjamin hitting a top rope suplex. I love the Dragon Whip. Lawler suggests that if the bookers had anything to do with it then this match may never have happened.

Lionsault misses but he actually crashes on it in a thing I’m not used to doing. Shelton hits a nice diving clothesline off the top but the Stinger Splash misses. This is getting better but the crowd doesn’t seem to care. Lionsault hits this time but of course it only gets two. Jericho goes up but jumps into the T-Bone to give Shelton the title. Ross and Lawler seem to be the most excited though. So much for that idea. Is there anyone Jericho won’t put over? Shelton would hold the title until June which is the longest title reign since Rock in 97.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here as Jericho wasn’t prepared for Shelton so he had to do his usual stuff which didn’t work because Shelton knew what to prepare for. The crowd is pretty weak here and it’s not a good sign for the rest of the show. This was a good push for Shelton, even though nothing really ever came of it as he has more untapped potential than anyone in a long time.

Edge says he should get the shot because it’s fair.

Benoit says he’s tired of HHH and Evolution and he’ll stop them.

Shawn says he’ll give whatever he has left if picked.

Benoit – 28%
Shawn – 39%
Edge – 33%

They announce Shawn as the winner before they show the results. This means Edge and Benoit vs. La Resistance too.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz vs. Nidia vs. Gail Kim vs. Molly Holly vs. Victoria vs. Stacy Keibler

This is the schoolgirl battle royal and yes Trish is defending the title in a battle royal. She’s ticked and a heel here. Jazz isn’t someone I want to see dressed like this. Why can’t Lillian be in this? I’ve never been sure if Nidia is hot or not. Gail looks good too. She never meant a freaking thing after her debut though. Molly is growing her hair back after having it shaved at I think Mania. Victoria (Tara) looks great like this. Stacy is perfect for it with the legs.

It’s not over the top either. The crowd is more into this than the first match. Nidia’s top falls off and she gets knocked out. Jazz is hanging on to the bottom rope and Victoria accidentally hits her with a baseball slide to put her out. Gail is out. There isn’t much to say here at all. Stacy gets the biggest pop of the night for doing a Nash leg choke on Victoria.

This is mainly just a way for Lawler to freak over underwear shots. Molly and Trish get rid of Victoria, leaving the two of them and Stacy. This is boring as all goodness. Stacy is supposed to be the big face here and she makes a bit of a comeback but Molly puts her out easily. Trish is almost out earlier but holds on and sneaks up on Molly to put her out and retain.

Rating: D-. This was bad on all levels. I’ve never gotten the appeal of the schoolgirl thing and this was no exception. Nothing came from this at all but at least it was quick. It was boring as tar on top of that too so there we are. At least it’s over.

La Resistance says they don’t think it’s fair to have to fight a team they don’t know of until just now.

We recap Kane vs. Snitsky. The idea here is that Kane got his wife Lita pregnant and then he had a match with a guy named Snitsky who knocked Kane onto Lita and made her lose her baby. This is a weapon of choice match. The video also shows Kane in regular clothes, which is very weird. This also led to the it wasn’t my fault line from Kane.

The choices are chain, chair and pipe.

Lead Pipe – 29%
Chair – 30%
Chain – 41%

That’s very surprising as the pipe had been an important thing in the angle. Also….a chain?

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

Lita comes down and the chain is huge. It’s something you could have a strap match with if it was a strap. Lita is here and is just gorgeous. When her hair was straight she looked epic. Kane has control here which makes me think this sounds like a game show or something. Snitsky takes over and beats the heck out of him with the chain.

This is the only thing that Snitsky ever really meant which isn’t saying much. It was an ok angle but at the same time it never really went much of anywhere. It’s amazing to think that Kane is the World Heavyweight Champion at the moment. I’m glad to be able to say that too. Ross says that Kane is fighting for air. I wonder if Lita told him to come but he was already there.

Kane makes his comeback but walks into a sideslam. He pulls a Taker and sits up which is one of his signature moves now too. Snitsky is dominating but Lawler says that it’s even for some reason. This is going WAY too long here as we’re already at about ten minutes and there’s no sign of it ending anytime soon. Gene, which is a great name for him for some reason, grabs a chair and hits Kane in the throat with it, somehow not getting disqualified.

Three straight shots to the neck/throat with it and Kane is just about dead. Snitsky actually Pillmanizes Kane’s neck and throat which is a spot you don’t see that often. He starts spitting up “blood” in a good visual and the referee calls it. Snitsky wants a pin anyway and makes the referee count it. How did this guy never get a monster push? Oh that’s right: HHH didn’t want to lose the world title.

Rating: D. WAY too long here as it ran nearly 15 minutes which is the second longest match of the night. The dominance looked great but at the same time this needed to be cut in half for it to be an actual good match. The time is the real problem here along with a lack of the chain. I think they expected the chair to win which explained the ending. Snitsky looked great though.

Kane does a long stretcher job to leave. I don’t think this really led anywhere. Snitsky jumps him afterwards.

Edge whines about getting a tag title shot which he’s held a ton of times.

Bischoff vs. his nephew Eugene is next with the loser having something done to them. We don’t find out the winner until after the match apparently.

Eric Bischoff vs. Eugene

Bischoff is Eugene’s uncle for your explanation. Eric uses the power of martial arts to start which makes sense to anyone who follows tournament karate, according to Tony Schiavone. He feigns injury and kicks Eugene in the head. It’s Hulk Up time and there’s an airplane spin. The big boot and legdrop ends this.

Rating: N/A. Good night Eugene was over at this point. Even I loved him.

Loser Wears a Dress 21%
Loser is the Winner’s Servant 20%
Loser is Shaved Bald 59%

Oh dear. This would be the end of Bischoff’s black hair. Coach tries to talk Eugene into accepting the servant thing for five minutes. And here’s Vince, apparently interested about something. Man Nick Dinsmore played that character to perfection. Vince says that the crowd has spoken so the shaving is happening.

Eugene does the cutting and Bischoff’s face is great. Coach gets put in the dress for no apparent reason. Vince tells him to take his shirt and pants off. I honestly wonder how many other men he’s said that too over the years. The mannequin the dress was on has balls. Vince: “Button that dress up! Don’t be a sl**!” Vince sees the gray roots of the hair and has a field day with it. He totally steals the show here and it’s great.

Raw Tag Titles: Chris Benoit/Edge vs. La Resistance

This is Conway and Grenier for you La Resistance fan out there. Grenier sings the Canadian national anthem in French to waste a ton of time. Benoit’s music finally kicks on to break up the “singing”. This is right around the time of Edge’s real heel turn and he was really getting good at it. He jumps Conway to start and there is no combination that the champions could use to have an advantage here.

I love that snap suplex from Benoit. That’s always so awesome looking. The crowd is, amazingly enough, dead for the most part here. Edge goes out in front of the barrier to argue with some fan that must have said something evil. I think he might not like Edge but I’m not entirely sure.

This crowd is DEAD. They aren’t moving at all and are barely making any noise at all. It’s like they’re working in front of a ghost town. Benoit has barely been in there at all but unless they pop like crazy for him, this match can more or less be considered a failure in the crowd’s eyes. Benoit comes in to about as great of a roar as the opposing team’s mascot would get.

King thinks the most important thing to the champions is to retain their titles. You can’t buy experience and analysis like that people! A depressing let’s go Benoit chant starts up and dies even faster. The referee doesn’t see the tag to Edge so it isn’t allowed. I love classic things like that. And there goes Edge as he leaves Benoit alone. Well alone with three other guys that is.

In the back Edge gets his bag and leaves. Back in the arena, Benoit hits a top rope suplex but can’t cover. Benoit reverses their finisher (Au Revoir) and shoves Grenier to the floor before locking in the Crossface on Conway for the tap out and the titles. Why look at this: champions that aren’t a real team that hate each other. NEW IDEAS RULE!

Rating: D+. This was like 17 minutes long and NOTHING happened. This was supposed to be big because of Benoit doing it on his own but when he’s on his own for like 3 minutes and the champions dominate for the rest of the time, it’s not a good match but rather just boring. This wasn’t good at all.

HHH is mad because he can’t have any strategy. He also doesn’t believe Shawn’s knee is really hurt. That made me smile as I typed it. We then get clips of Shawn’s knee being hurt last night. King thinks he’s faking.

We recap Christy vs. Carmella. The Christy is Christy Hemme and Camella was also in Playboy. They argue over what kind of “match” to have. The options are aerobics challenge, lingerie pillow fight and bra and panties. Also in the Diva Search that they were the finalists of were Michelle McCool and Maria plus two other girls that also made it to WWE.

Coach is still in his dress for this. Lingerie gets over half the vote. There are semi-see through screens for them to change in. Christy more or less strips and Carmella won’t get near the screen. They take forever and a day to get dressed and the whole thing is just stupid. GET ON WITH IT. They’ve spent like 8 minutes getting ready. Finally.

Christy vs. Carmella

Carmella has some plastic in her top in and Christy rips it out. The feathers get unleashed and this is just idiotic. They roll over top of each other and Christy gets a pin less than two minutes in. Move on now.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

This HAS to be good right? Remember that Shawn has a bad left knee. Lawler doesn’t think Shawn is hurt and Ross goes OFF on him, asking if Lawler can think about anything but puppies for one second and acknowledge that the man is hurt. HHH goes to the knee and takes complete control. It’s all HHH here as he just works the knee as much as he can.

We bust out the figure four and Shawn is in trouble. HHH even puts it on the right leg, as in the correct one since it’s Shawn’s left knee that is hurt. He begs the referee not to ring the bell and pulls him down when he tries to. Shawn FINALLY gets the ropes and his knee is pretty much destroyed. And of course Shawn can stand on the knee, but at least he’s not standing straight up. He’s selling it but not as well as he could have.

So of course Shawn uses atomic drops on the bad knee. I get that it hurts him, but how could he be able to stand up? This is what gets on my nerves when they use the HEART justification to explain this. It’s cool once in awhile but when the guy does it for like ten minutes it’s just idiotic. He gets a low blow and a DDT (which is more or less the generic big move for everyone) to set up a top rope elbow.

Yeah my head is hurting again. The fans get into the show for the first time in over two hours as Sweet Chin Music is set up. And here’s Batista for the interference but the kick connects! Edge pops up to spear Shawn and kick off their feud which ran until I think the Rumble. That gets the pin for the Game.

Rating: B. This was a good match, but the selling by Shawn was questionable here. It was like the more HHH beat on the knee the stronger it got, which makes absolutely no sense but whatever. This was solid as you would expect from these two, but seeing HHH use simple psychology (HBK has a bad knee, HHH goes after it the whole time) is a weird thing as these two usually hit 2-3 finishers each to end it. Good match, but nothing is going to save this card at this point.

Bischoff is mostly bald and isn’t happy about it.

We recap the night which takes up like 5 minutes because we have nothing but the main event left to go.

Flair says Orton will never be a legend until he beats him. Orton couldn’t get a title shot while HHH was champion. I kept telling people I wanted an Orton face run and now look where he is. Flair was showing signs of a face turn which never came.

The final vote is for the stipulation here.

Falls Count Anywhere – 20%
Submission – 12%
Steel Cage – 68%

Randy Orton vs. Ric Flair

It’s weird seeing Orton’s arms. Orton used right and left hands back then which is a cool sight actually. Not many people do that and the only other two that I can think of are Sting and Shawn, so if nothing else he’s in good company. Flair goes low a few minutes in and we hit the no rules part of this. Orton is busted and it’s fairly bad.

We talk about politics for some reason as it’s all Flair. Orton comes back and we see Flair’s trunks pulled down for no apparent reason. Is that a running joke in wrestling or something? Flair gets another low blow which is the smart thing to do here as it’s perfectly legal so why not do it? Flair is busted open too. While he’s up against the cage, Orton dropkicks him into it. That was different.

Orton hits a top rope cross body in a nice nod to Flair’s original Starrcade world title win. Flair tries to escape which doesn’t work. Brass knuckles to Orton gets two. Why is he hiding them in a no holds barred match? Instinct of a great heel if nothing else. The old dude gets a chair in the cage somehow but misses and RKO ends it. I love that move and it was awesome back then too as he didn’t jump as high so it was like a Diamond Cutter. They shake hands to end the show.

Rating: B-. Not bad but this was wasn’t anything that special. Flair was game here though and showed that he could still pull off a decent match when he had to. It’s saying something else that they gave him the main event spot. Orton was awesome at this point so of course they turned him heel and then sent him to Smackdown so he wouldn’t get too over. But remember, HHH NEVER played politics at all. Never. Not him. Nope.

Overall Rating: F+. Oh this was BAD. There was nothing at all worth watching on this and almost nothing worth even talking about. Shelton winning his first title could have been on Raw….much like the rest of this freaking show. This show just didn’t work as the angles went nowhere after this because it was more or less a bunch of one off matches. Terrible show and not even worth watching for the novelty.

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