I’m sure something called TURMOIL will turn out great.
The winners of a four (or five depending on if you believe WWE’s accidental spoiler) team gauntlet match get a shot at the Women’s Tag Team Titles on the second night. The fact that these teams are mostly horrible should tell you almost everything you need to know about the sad state of these titles, but that has never stopped WWE before. This is going to be a mess, but how else are they getting this many people on the show without a battle royal?
As much as I would like for it to be the Riott Squad (because they’re a team who has been together for a good while and they work well together), odds are this goes to Naomi and Lana, because WWE thinks there is something left in Lana vs. Nia Jax. The team has been treated as losers since they formed, but that is the case for most of the teams in the division. Another surprise addition with Bayley and/or Charlotte wouldn’t surprise me, but the last thing the division needs is ANOTHER thrown together team.
Smackdown – February 12, 2015: The Longest TV Match In Company History
Smackdown Date: February 12, 2015
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton
The big story coming out of Raw is Bryan and Reigns finally coming to blows with Reigns spearing Bryan after winning the match. It didn’t come off like a heel turn, but rather Reigns being more aggressive instead of his usual laid back self. The question now becomes what happens to them going forward, as this is a pretty hard turn for the story and could help things out a good bit. Let’s get to it.
We open in the back with Kane and Big Show announcing a tag team turmoil match for tonight with Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan starting things off. Show mentions grabbing the bull by the horns and we get an El Torito cameo. So basically Reigns and Bryan are running a gauntlet? The other teams include Slater Gator, Usos, Los Matadores, Miz/Mizdow, Ascension and presumably Big Show/Kane.
Opening sequence.
Bray Wyatt vs. R-Truth
You have to wonder why Truth would keep accepting this match as he’s been squashed by Wyatt about a dozen times now. Wyatt just sits in the corner waiting until WHOOMP THERE IT IS makes his eyes bug out and gets him to his feet. A hard clothesline drops Truth early on but he’s able to low bridge Bray out to the floor. That’s fine with Bray as he nails Truth upside the head and takes over again. We hit the nerve hold before Truth avoids a seated splash. The Lie Detector totally misses but gets two anyway. Bray hits his big clothesline, Spider Walks, and Sister Abigail is good for the pin at 4:31.
Rating: D. What else did you expect here? Bray continues to squash people and there’s nothing to see here in a match with a jobber like Truth. He does get the fans reacting though and is likely to have a job for years as a result. It seems that we’re getting Undertaker vs. Wyatt at Wrestlemania, and there would be almost no logical reason for Wyatt to lose there. That match could mean some interesting stories, but I doubt WWE would go there.
Summer Rae vs. Paige
The Bellas are on commentary again. Paige armdrags her down to start and hits a hard kick to the ribs, followed by Matt Morgan’s rotating elbows in the corner. Summer comes back with something like an Indian Deathlock as the Bellas do their usual “we’re better than you” schtick. Byron: “You are aware there’s a match going on in the ring?” Nikki: “Unfortunately yes there is.” Paige hits three clotheslines because there’s no other comeback allowed in WWE. The PTO makes Summer give up at 2:58.
The Bellas pose and Paige yells after the match. This is being written about six hours after the fourway Divas match at Takeover: Rival, which was one of the best Divas matches I’ve ever seen, topping a list comprised of almost all NXT Divas matches. I would pay BIG money to hear someone tell me how the WWE Divas are so much better than the girls down in Florida without using the words John, Cena, Bryan, Danielson, reality or total.
Quick look at Rusev calling Cena an old man and going after his eye. Cena is 37, looks like he’s about 30 and probably has at least four or five good years left in him. We’re a few years away from calling Cena an old man. He’s six years younger than Kane and ten years younger than Big Show, but Cena is the grizzled veteran?
Sheamus return video.
Rikishi is going to the Hall of Fame. I really don’t get why people are freaking out over that. He’s a multiple time Tag Team Champion, an Intercontinental Champion and was around forever. He even had a brief main event run. That’s far better than some people who have gone in but this one isn’t ok for some reason?
Fandango vs. Adam Rose
Rose yells at the Rosebuds to start and stomps Fandango down in the corner. He hooks a bodyscissors followed by a chinlock as this isn’t going anywhere. Fandango pops up and hits a snap powerslam, followed by the Last Dance for the pin at 1:39. I have no idea why I’m supposed to care about Fandango now.
Rose shoves the Rosebuds down again. Is this story ever going to move forward?
We see HHH calling out Sting for Fast Lane and Sting accepting. I did like how clear he made the response. Sometimes you just need to keep it simple.
Tag Team Turmoil
Either this match is going to go nearly an hour or there’s something else to close the show. Reigns and Bryan start against Miz and Mizdow. Miz and Bryan get things going with Daniel kicking him in the back and roughly tagging out to Reigns. Roman pounds him down in the corner and tags out just as hard. It’s off to Mizdow for the Reality Check but Miz isn’t pleased and tags himself back in. Daniel hits a running kick in the corner so Reigns tags himself in for the Superman Punch, but Bryan tags in for the running knee instead of the spear. Miz is done at 2:18.
Next up are the Tag Team Champion Usos who start their section after a break. Bryan grabs a headlock on Jey to start but has to spin out of a wristlock. Daniel stays on the arm but gets taken down for the double elbow drop. It’s off to Reigns for a battle of the cousins and Jimmy is quickly run over with a shoulder. The Usos finally start getting together to clothesline Reigns to the floor as they’re clearly in no hurry here.
Back to Bryan for a leg lock and some hard forearms to Jey’s face. Daniel starts kicking at the leg in the corner as Reigns just glares at both guys. Jey makes a blind tag and comes in with a kick to the face for two. The champs start in on the arm and Daniel bails outside as we take a break. Back with Reigns suplexing Jimmy but getting annoyed at yet another blind tag from Bryan. Daniel: “THIS IS A SUPLEX!” His has a bit more snap but gets the same two count. The Usos take him into the corner again and stomp Daniel down with the running Umaga Attack getting another near fall.
A running headbutt gets two for Jey and it’s back to the arm. That goes nowhere as Bryan pops back up with the running clothesline. The first regular tag brings in Reigns and it’s a big boot and a neck crank on Jimmy. Back to Bryan to sidestep a charging Jimmy, sending his shoulder into the post. Both Usos head to the floor for a series of kicks to the chest but Roman says lay off of them because they’re hurt. Daniel gets right in his face and they shove each other a bit as we go to our third break.
Back again with Daniel cranking on Jey’s arm and suplexing him down for two. Bryan is acting a bit heelish but you could also say he’s just being more aggressive and trying to win. Roman isn’t interested in working on his cousin, which wasn’t a problem for him back in the Shield days of course. A Samoan drop finally puts Bryan down for a breather and the hot tag brings in Jimmy.
The kneeling uppercut has Bryan in trouble but he backdrops Jimmy to the floor. Jey tags himself in on the way over though and gets two off a high cross body with Daniel making the save. Jey asks his cousin what’s going on (it can’t be what’s up or that would be gimmick infringement) and everything breaks down.
Reigns drops Jey but gets sent to the floor for a big dive. Bryan dives on everyone not named Jimmy but Jimmy takes too much time, allowing Bryan to hit the Superman Punch. The Usos hit a few superkicks but the Superfly Splash hits knees and Jimmy taps to the YES Lock at 31:50 (total, as all following times will be).
Reigns yells at Bryan for holding the YES Lock too long as we take another break. Back with the argument continuing and Los Matadores coming in as the fourth team. Fernando throws Bryan down and scores with a headscissors to keep the tired Daniel in trouble. Daniel realizes he’s in there with Los Matadores and throws Fernando in the surfboard until Diego makes a save. Fernando heads up top but gets butterfly superplexed down, setting up the YES Lock for the submission at 39:47.
Slater Gator is in next with new music and Heath appears to have chopped off his hair. Reigns tags himself in to clean house with the fireman’s carry flapjack to Slater, followed by a big spear for another pin at 41:18. We take what might be a record fifth commercial break in one match and come back with Ascension as the sixth team.
Bryan and Viktor get things going with Ascension easily taking over. Daniel fights out of the corner with forearms but Konnor low bridges him to the floor. The double beating is on and Roman gets one as well for trying to make a save. Bryan gets posted and Reigns is sent over the announcers’ table. Back in and Daniel takes Fall of Man but the Ascension has been disqualified, somewhere around 49:10. A bunch of referees break it up and Big Show and Kane are the final team.
Cole informs us that Ascension was in fact disqualified. Normally I would have a sarcastic line here but since the referee shouted “YOU TWO ARE DISQUALIFIED!”, I’ll be a bit more blunt: Cole sounds stupid. He makes it even worse by saying they can in fact confirm Big Show and Kane as the next team. AS IN THE TEAM COMING DOWN THE AISLE. We take another break and come back with Kane stomping on Reigns. A shoulder block gets two but Reigns pops back up with a clothesline, allowing for the tag off to Bryan.
Daniel busts out the YES Kicks, somehow for the first time in this match. Show makes a fast save though and sends him out to the floor but throws Bryan back over the top and back inside. It’s back to Kane for more stomping as he and Show somehow look more exhausted than Bryan and Reigns. More kicks break up the chokeslam but Kane shoves Bryan into Big Show, much to the giant’s annoyance.
A double back elbow puts Bryan down and Big Show yells at Reigns a bit. Daniel kicks out of Show’s chokeslam attempt before hitting a DDT. That’s still not enough for the hot tag though as Show gets two off a splash. He yells at Kane for being negative and chokes Bryan in the air. Kane wants this to be over but Show says he’s having fun. Show gets on the middle rope for the Vader Bomb but Kane tags himself in and yells at Show for taking too many risks. Show: “THAT’S RUDE!”
Kane gets caught in the YES Lock and Show makes a very delayed save. This time it’s Show tagging himself in but has to stop and yell at Kane again. Reigns gets knocked off the apron but Bryan pulls Show down into the YES Lock. Kane makes a save but asks Show what he’s doing. That’s quite a rude question.
Big Show thinks so too as he KO Punches Kane and I think we have the 1000th Big Show turn. Well that’s quite a milestone if nothing else. Show’s gift is a spear and running knee to FINALLY end this match at 1:05:15. From what I can find, that’s the sixth longest match in company history. Of the five longer matches, three were Royal Rumbles.
Rating: C-. The best part of it all: the match wasn’t even that good. It was a mix of squashes and long, drawn out tag matches which really isn’t enough to carry a match that length of time. Bryan and Reigns were trying to one up each other (Bryan had four falls to Reigns’ one, which was over Slater) and they used half of the show to do it because half the roster is in the Middle East on tour. My goodness this felt long and I need a rest after this marathon. It’s a remarkable performance from Bryan and Reigns, but not a good match otherwise.
Overall Rating: C. The show was entertaining enough but much more of a novelty than anything else. As much as I hate this booking move, there’s almost no way to avoid putting the Tag Team Titles on Bryan and Reigns now, because they literally just beat most of the entire tag division in one night, including the champions. Until the Usos beat Bryan and Reigns, they’re the best team in the company by default and it gives them another way to build to the match at Fast Lane. There isn’t much else to talk about here due to the main event literally taking up over half the show, but there was nothing else of note anyway.
Results
Bray Wyatt b. R-Truth – Sister Abigail
Paige b. Summer Rae – PTO
Fandango b. Adam Rose – Last Dance
Roman Reigns/Daniel Bryan won Tag Team Turmoil last eliminating Big Show/Kane – Running knee to Show
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
NXT – May 31, 2011 – More Wrestling Than Impact. Seriously.
NXT
Date: May 31, 2011
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Michael Cole
Another elimination tonight and I have a feeling it’ll be Saxton because that’s the guy that doesn’t need to be gone. O’Brian will continue to be around and waste all of our time because he has no character and nothing of interest in the slightest overall. Cannon and O’Neil are definitely the strongest out there and I’d be ok with either winning….I think. Anyway let’s get to it.
Todd calls this trimming the fat tonight. At least they admit some of these guys are worthless.
Striker and Maryse are with the rookies in the ring. They bring out Cole for one night only. Oh dear. For some reason he’s doing commentary tonight instead of Regal. Blast it all. Cole says this is where he got his start.
We go over the Redemption Points aspect which are there in the event of a tie. O’Neil is miles ahead of everyone so there’s no point in even listing them off. Tonight you can earn 3 points (Titus is up by 12) in Tag Team Turmoil. It’s rookies and pros as teams here. First though, let’s hear why you shouldn’t get eliminated tonight. Conor sucks up to the crowd and says he’s not done sacrificing for the business yet. Cannon says if you’re not a fan of his yet you’re deaf, dumb and blind. He doesn’t need the fans and has an ace up his sleeve. He looks at Maryse and says make that a queen. Todd: “Is he looking at Striker?”
Young says he’s been at the top the entire time. He shouldn’t be on NXT because he was in the main event of Summerslam. It’s about time someone brought that up. Young says he should be challenging Cena and that the entire NXT show is a joke. Saxton says he doesn’t need to explain why he should be voted for. He got rid of Tatsu last week and the real question is why wouldn’t you vote for him. Titus says he is bigger, badder and better than anyone else in the competition. Horny comes out and Young goes after him as Titus saves. Tag team turmoil is next.
Tag Team Turmoil
If you’re unfamiliar, the idea is two tag teams start us off and they have a match. The losers are eliminated and the winners advance to face another team. Last team standing wins and there are five total teams. We start with O’Neil/Horny vs. Cannon/Kidd and the rookies go first. And yeah, this is rather boring indeed. Horny can’t get in due to reasons of HE’S A FREAKING LEPRECHAUN and my signal cuts out.
Back and it’s Saxton and Tatsu in there now instead of O’Neil and Horny. Apparently there was a commercial in there so at least I didn’t miss much. Yoshi takes over on Kidd and it’s off to Saxton. Cannon grabs a chinlock on him as Maryse is in Cannon and Kidd’s corner. Yoshi wants in but Saxton wants to do this by himself. Cannon and Kidd keep tagging in and out like an actual team while Saxton is being a big meanie. I’d prefer a blue one but you take what you can get I guess.
Cannon channels his inner Flair to use the ropes for two. This is another fine example of the really boring matches these guys have. None of them are particularly good in the ring and none of them are interesting at all. Saxton fights back against Kidd but takes FOREVER on the ropes and jumps into a big boot for the elimination. Kozlov/O’Brian are in next. Why do I have a bad feeling they’re going to win here? There’s a break before this next part begins.
It would be nice if the commercials on this show were longer than 45 seconds. You can’t do anything in that amount of time. During the break Kozlov send Kidd flying to the floor with a fallaway slam. And because he’s like a fungus, here’s JTG. Seriously dude, go away. No one likes you and your pets are being sacrificed to Satan. Your friends hate you, your family hates you and you’re going to eternal torment. Go away. Did I mention I don’t like JTG.
The distraction shifts the momentum again as JTG is on commentary. If it seems like I’m not watching the match, it’s because I’m trying to stay awake here. JTG doesn’t care who wins this and it takes ten seconds to get through that joke. Cannon stomps away on O’Brian as this has been going on nearly 15 minutes now. JTG gets his rookie’s name wrong because he’s an annoying person.
Since we’re not bored enough, here’s a headlock by Cannon to O’Brian. Hot tag to Kozlov and much destruction is seen. Iron Curtain ends Cannon and we’re down to Chavo/Darren Young vs. Kozlov/O’Brian. Here’s another break because we haven’t had to sit through enough yet. Back with Kozlov beating on Young as the crowd is SILENT. Off to O’Brian who hammers on Young a bit.
Off to an armbar as even the camera guys are bored with this match so they keep the camera on JTG. Chavo comes in to take over and hammers away. Young gets a shot off the top and a two count so let’s go BACK to the resthold. They hit heads off a whip into the corner because they hadn’t reached a level of boring high enough yet. Double tag brings in the pros and Chavo jumps into a headbutt to the chest.
A spinwheel kick puts Vlad on the floor where Young gets in a shot. O’Brian apparently went off to get a hot pretzel because he’s not helping here. Back in the ring now for even more slow paced stuff. I can live with a long match like this if it’s interesting. By that I mean if ANY part of it is interesting but this has been five straight boring NXT matches.
The heels tag in and out a lot as Vlad reverses a double suplex at the twenty five minute mark. And remember, it’s for a total of three points. O’Brian comes in but can’t get a pin. Three Amigos take him down but the third is blocked. Vlad is sent to the floor and O’Brian hits something like a Saito Suplex for the pin on Young at 26:00, which might be longer than Cody vs. MVP for longest match in NXT history.
Rating: D. Here’s a great example of where long doesn’t mean good. This was painfully boring the entire time because in short, none of these ten guys are interesting for the most part. They’re definitely not interesting enough for five straight tag team matches of about the same length. Boring match the entire time and WAY too long. But at least it’s the only match of the night. Now someone kidnap JTG and feed him to something with sharp teeth.
Obama ad. I can’t stand this anymore.
The Bellas, the chicks that made fat jokes at the expense of a pregnant woman last night, want you to stop bullying. The irony of this campaign never ceases to amaze me.
Saxton is gone. Well of course he is. I mean, he can talk and has a decent look so he has no business being here over a guy as universally talented as Rat Boy right? They make it way too easy to predict who’s going home on this show.
Overall Rating: D. Well I’ll give them this: they had wrestling. The amusing thing is that on a 45 minute long show, there was more wrestling than on Impact, a two hour show. I know I blast that a lot, but dude that’s embarrassing, especially when they preach that it’s about wrestling over on Thursdays.
Anyway, while it was boring, they at least did have something in the ring for over half of the show, so definite points for that. This is something close to giving them credit for trying, as they had a show focused on wrestling and the rookie/pro relationship, but it was boring in execution. I’ll take this over the stupid challenges any day though.
Results
Conor O’Brian/Vladimir Kozlov won tag team turmoil, last eliminating Chavo Guerrero/Darren Young