Tag Teams You Forgot About
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Kevin Kelly, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Hayes, Jonathan Coachman, Josh Matthews, Steve Romero, Vince McMahon

I love it when the named tells you everything you’re about to see and that’s what we’re getting here. This was part of the WWE Vault’s rather awesome Tag Team Week and now they’re really opening the vault to see some of those great teams of years past. I’m curious to see what WWE considered forgotten, though some of them are probably that way for a reason. Let’s get to it.

From Monday Night Raw, September 23, 2002.

Tag Team Titles: Un-Americans vs. Kane/???

Kane is challenging with….Hurricane as his partner. I’m assuming both of these are forgotten teams and fair enough. Hurricane takes Storm down to start and Kane comes in to slam Christian onto Storm, followed by tossing Hurricane at both of them. William Regal (here with the champs) pulls Hurricane outside and the double teaming is on, followed by an elbow to the jaw to give Storm two.

Christian’s shot to the face gets two more as Lawler points out the similarities between Kane and Hurricane…and there are more than you might think. A quick Eye Of The Hurricane gets Hurricane out of trouble and it’s back to Kane for the top rope clothesline. Cue Test (the fourth Un-American) for a distraction so Regal comes in with a belt shot to give Christian two. Regal and Test are tossed and Hurricane comes back in with a top rope hurricanrana. Storm leg lariats Christian by mistake and it’s a double chokeslam to give us new champions at 6:28.

Rating: C+. I had fun with this as Hurricane is remembered for being a comedy guy but he could have a perfectly decent match if given the chance. Kane often works well with a smaller, high flier as a partner and this was a great example. The Un-Americans were fine as a foreign menace team, so giving the popular team a title win was a nice way to go. Fun opener here.

From Shotgun Saturday Night, December 13, 1997.

Doug Furnas/Philip LaFon vs. Hardy Boyz

Make your own jokes about “gee I had forgotten about the Hardys”. Jeff and LaFon start things off with LaFon armdragging him down. Everything breaks down and a dropkick sends Furnas outside, setting up Poetry In Motion. Jeff tries a top rope Asai moonsault and slips, going straight down onto his back in a crash that made me cringe. Thankfully Jeff is ok to get back in, as commentary wonders why LaFon won’t just cover him.

LaFon snaps off a suplex for two and it’s time to pull on the hair. A dropkick gets Jeff out of trouble and we actually take a break. We come back with Furnas (a powerhouse) sending Jeff flying with an overhead belly to belly for two. Jeff finally gets in a shot of his own, allowing the tag off to Matt to fire off some dropkicks. A top rope Lionsault gets two on LaFon as everything breaks down again. Jeff gets backdropped way into the air and over the top, leaving LaFon to DDT Matt for the pin at 7:48.

Rating: C. It’s not a great match, but it was certainly an interesting addition. You could see that the Hardys were starting to get comfortable out there and the skill was starting to come through. Granted you could also see Jeff’s ability to get beaten up, as that was a terrible looking fall to the floor. Furnas and LaFon were a talented team but they weren’t exactly charisma machines and that’s a big reason why they’re on this list.

From Smackdown, August 3, 2007.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Deuce N Domino vs. Ric Flair/Batista

Deuce N Domino, with Cheery, are defending. Deuce kicks away at Batista to start and that goes as well as you would expect. Batista elbows him in the face and hands it off to Flair (wooing ensues, both from the crowd and from Flair himself) for an elbow of his own. Flair starts in on the arm and Batista is happy to do the same. Domino comes in to backdrop Flair, followed by an elbow of his own for two. A jumping back elbow (popular move here) to the jaw gets two on Flair but Deuce misses an elbow of his own (at least it was a drop this time) and we take a break.

We come back with Batista coming in to snap off some slams, followed by a knee to drop Deuce again. Domino has to break up the Figure Four and the armbar goes on. Flair gets up and is knocked down again for a Flair Flop, followed by a faceplant for two. The armbar goes on again for a bit, followed by Flair chopping his way to freedom.

A collision with Deuce leaves them both down and the much needed tag brings Batista in to clean house. The swinging Boss Man Slam drops Domino and Batista loads up the Batista Bomb but cue the Great Khali (set to face Batista at Summerslam). The distraction lets Deuce N Domino double team Batista for the DQ at 14:05.

Rating: C. Deuce N Domino were hardly a great team, but they were a much needed addition to the division, which was basically the champions and whomever else was around at the moment. They were at least unique and that was rather needed here. Granted they were in there against the former Evolution, so it wasn’t like they were going to be giving them a major fight. The constant Khali references didn’t help either, as you could all but guarantee he would be showing up.

From Jakked, December 16, 2000.

Lo Down vs. Kai En Tai

Now I know you remember these teams (with Tiger Ali Singh joining the former). Michinoku bulldogs Chaz down to start and hits a spinwheel kick to Chaz’s hands, allowing Brown to come in for a leg lariat. A side slam/legdrop combination gets two on Michinoku and Brown’s bowing legdrop connects for the same. The middle rope moonsault misses and Michinoku strikes away, including a pop up dropkick. Funaki and Chaz come in (in case you weren’t sure this was from 2000) as everything breaks down. A basement dropkick hits Chaz but it’s a Sky High to Michinoku and a double powerbomb finishes Funaki at 3:56.

Rating: C. Take a couple of goofy teams and let them have a mostly nothing match. That’s all this was (it was on Jakked after all) and honestly, it was more memorable than a lot of matches in the following generations. Despite being rather goofy, at least these guys felt like teams. Give me something like this over two guys just getting together for a long, not so interesting match.

From Shotgun Saturday Night, July 25, 1999.

Too Much vs. Terry Funk/Bradshaw

That would be the still evil Too Cool. Taylor is freaked out by Funk, showing that he knows a bit of wrestling history. The Too Much hug doesn’t sit well with Bradshaw (though it’s hard to tell), who chops the heck out of a dancing Taylor. The fall away slam sends Taylor flying and a belly to back suplex does it again. Christopher offers a distraction though and it’s a double dropkick to put Bradshaw on the floor as we take a break.

We come back with Funk slapping away at Christopher and sending him crashing to the floor. Bradshaw wastes no time in throwing him back inside, where Funk tosses him outside (Funk to the fans: “YOU WANT HIM?”) again. Back in and a neckbreaker gives Funk two, followed by a DDT to Taylor for the same. The Tumbleweed gets two more on Taylor, with Christopher having to make the save. Everything breaks down and the Clothesline From Bradshaw pins Taylor at 6:05.

Rating: C+. Funk is still one of the most entertaining wrestlers of all time and Bradshaw getting to hit people in the face was fun. That’s what we got here, with Too Much being great as annoying pests who had to be dealt with by the Texans. I could watch Funk beat up people like Christopher all day and this was a nice way to go.

From Unforgiven 1998.

NWA Tag Team Titles: New Midnight Express vs. Rock N Roll Express

The Midnights are defending and Jim Cornette does their introductions, which has to be killing him, made even worse that this is in Greensboro. Ross is right there to explain the history between the Midnights and the Rock N Roll and of course he’s great at it, as he was there for so much of their rivalry. Gibson shoulders Bob to the floor to start before it’s off to Morton to send Bart outside. You can see the fans leaving in droves as Lawler talks about Sable’s underwear.

The Midnights almost get in a fight but Cornette (dubbed “Beefy” by Ross and a “nutritional overachiever” by Lawler) calms things down. Morton gets caught in an abdominal stretch with an assist from the apron. The referee catches him though and Cornette gets in to box said referee. NOW the fans are into it because they’ve seen that done so many times over the years, especially with Cornette freaking out when Tim White fights back.

Cornette can’t get his jacket back on before he trips Morton to the floor for a right hand. Back in and we’re actually clipped to Bob missing an Alabama Jam. The double dropkick hits Bob so Cornette comes in, only to elbow Bob by mistake. Everything breaks down and Cornette gets decked but Bob is back in with a bulldog to retain the titles at 6:57 (it looks like only about 15 seconds were clipped so I’m guessing it was something Lawler said or something shown in the crowd).

Rating: C+. Gah this was a bit of a rough sit, as the New Midnight Express was just not interesting. The Midnight Express (pick a version) was one of the best teams ever but this had none of their positives. You can see the stuff with Cornette and the Rock N Roll working well still because they’ve probably done it a thousand times, but there was a huge part missing here and those three can’t do it on their own.

From Velocity, June 10, 2006.

Pitbulls vs. Jon Bolen/Sterling Keenan

The Pitbulls are Jamie Noble and Kid Kash while Keenan is better known as Corey Graves. Keenan and Bolen get jumped to start but Bolen (incorrectly called Keenan by commentary) is back with a gorilla press. Bolen is sent outside and gets his eyes raked back inside, followed by a dropkick to knock Keenan off the apron. It’s off to Keenan, who gets suplexed into an armbar. Noble comes in for a chinlock before Kash comes in and gets kicked in the face. It’s back to Bolen, who can’t hit a suplex but can get knocked down by Noble. Kash’s running clothesline finishes Bolen at 4:46.

Rating: C-. Yeah there’s a reason you don’t remember the Pitbulls very well, because there was pretty much nothing to them. Noble is a rather talented guy and Kash could do his stuff, but having them as the new tough, hard working team didn’t quite fit. It’s a case of putting the team in the wrong place and it never quite worked.

From Monday Night Raw, October 2, 1995.

PG-13 vs. Al Brown/Sonny Rogers

We get a split screen interview with PG-13 promising to win the Tag Team Titles to go with their USWA Tag Team Titles. Wolfie D punches Rogers in the face to start and it’s a running dropkick/Russian legsweep combination to drop Rogers. A running double stomp gets two on Rogers as commentary talks about OJ Simpson’s legal team. Brown comes in and gets bulldogged, both by Wolfie D and by both of them at the same time. Ice tilt-a-whirl slams Wolfie D onto Brown for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: D+. PG-13 is a great example of a team who worked well in Memphis but not so much on the national stage. It only gets so far with this kind of audience and it didn’t really work here. They knew how to drive fans crazy by just being annoying, but that doesn’t quite work when it comes to the actual bell to bell action.

From Superstars, May 27, 1995.

Tekno Team 2000 vs. Brooklyn Brawler/Barry Horowitz

You knew they were going to be in here, and not just because they were in the description. Troy hammerlocks the Brawler to start but gets elbowed in the face. Travis comes in for a splash on Horowitz and a spinning high crossbody connects, with Brawler making the save. Everything breaks down and it’s a spinning high crossbody (they like that move)/suplex combination to pin Horowitz at 1:54.

Overall Rating: C+. I had a great time with this, as it really did showcase some teams who weren’t exactly well remembered. That’s what I love about the Vault, as you can tell there are some big fans running the place. This could have been something as easy as the Spirit Squad or Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly but instead they actually put in the work and made something interesting here. Nice job and worth a look if you’re a fan of tag wrestling.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Iconic Tag Teams Earliest Appearances Collection
Commentators: Gordon Solie, Keith Hart, Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect, Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Michael Hayes, Dean Hill, Jim Cornette, Byron Saxton, Kevin Patrick, Bruno Sammartino, Al Snow

This is part of Tag Team Week on the WWE Vault and in this case it’s a look back at when some famous tag teams first got together. I’m going to assume there is an unseen asterisk that says “on television in a big promotion” but I’ll take what I can get. This has the potential to be rather interesting so let’s get to it.

From a Smackdown dark match, September 16, 2003.

Paul London/Spanky vs. Albert/Sean O’Haire

What a random heel team. Albert shoves Spanky (Brian Kendrick) down to start and unloads on him in the corner. Spanky gets in some right hands of his own but O’Haire comes in for a chop. It’s off to London to strike away but Albert cuts him off, including the catapult into the bottom rope for two.

O’Haire plants him in the corner for two and the slow beating ensues. London manages a double knockdown with O’Haire though and it’s Spanky coming in to pick up the pace. Albert charges into a boot in the corner and Spanky hits a tornado DDT for two. London and O’Haire go outside, leaving Spanky to reverse the Baldo Bomb into a bulldog. O’Haire interrupts though and Albert’s over the shoulder backbreaker finishes Spanky at 7:49.

Rating: C+. That’s quite the interesting tryout, as rather than getting a win over the makeshift team, London and Spanky lose in their first time out. I’m not sure the point of that as it’s not like the masses were going to see it, but you could see the chemistry already coming together. A fast paced young team is something that works almost every time and London/Spanky did it very well.

From Georgia Championship Wrestling TV, June 11, 1983.

Road Warriors vs. Randy Barber/Joe Young

And yes, this actually is their first time teaming together (at least on television). They’re also in matching leather hats and vests, with Paul Ellering wearing a snazzy top hat. The Warriors are also the National Tag Team Champions, winning the titles in a tournament that didn’t actually happen. Hawk drives Barber into the corner and it’s off to Animal to drop a leg. Young comes in and gets forearmed in the corner, followed by a double clothesline. A slingshot splash finishes for Hawk at 2:05. Total squash, as it should have been.

From a WWE house show, October 4, 2014.

Kofi Kingston/Xavier Woods vs. Stardust/Goldust

I’m not sure if Goldust and Stardust’s Raw Tag Team Titles are on the line here or not but Big E. is here with the not yet New Day. Actually Stardust clarifies that this is NOT a title match, which is some nice attention to detail. After confirming that we are in Trenton, New Jersey and arguing about whether or not the town is awful, we’re ready to go with Kingston and Stardust starting tings off.

They fight over a top wristlock and then trade some flips, with Stardust stopping to dance. Kingston sticks the landing on a monkey flip and sends Stardust into the corner for the tag off to Woods. The Honor Roll gets two and it’s time to work on Stardust’s arm. Kingston’s high crossbody gets two but Stardust takes him up against the ropes for a shot from Goldust. Kingston is right back with a jumping back elbow and Woods gets two off a middle rope clothesline as the fans are only somewhat into this.

They fight to the floor for something we can’t see (single stationary camera and all that) and come back inside for Goldust’s chinlock on Woods. That doesn’t last long so it’s the snap powerslam so Stardust can come back in to stomp away. Another chinlock goes on and for a bit longer this time, though Woods is able to shove off the ensuing bulldog attempt. Kingston comes back in to clean house and everything breaks down. The referee tries to get Woods out, leaving a springboard spinning kick to the head Hart Attack to drop Kingston for two. Woods is back up for UpUpDownDown to pin Goldust at 10:43.

Rating: C+. Much like London and Spanky, you could see the foundations from the start here, though they had a long way to go with the details. What mattered the most was Kingston and Woods (with Big E. of course) working well together. They had the athleticism and natural chemistry and those are the kinds of things that are either there or not from the start.

From Stampede Wrestling, July 11, 1983.

Dynamite Kid/Davey Boy Smith vs. Cuban Assassin/Ciclon Negro

As tends to be the case, we’re joined in progress with a brawl on the floor before Assassin takes Kid (bleeding from an attack by Bad News Allen earlier in the night) inside. Smith, who was jumped earlier as well, tries to make a save but gets tossed as well. We settle down to Negro hammering on Kid up against the ropes but he accidentally elbows Assassin. The tag brings Smith back in to clean house, including letting Negro hit Assassin AGAIN.

A dropkick takes Assassin down, followed by a headscissors and headlock takeover at the same time (a big spot in 1983). The villains finally get it together and send Smith into the corner, which lasts all of a few seconds before it’s back to the rather bloody Kid. Some flips and clotheslines have Negro down but he manages a knee to the ribs to cut Kid off. Negro runs into Assassin for the third time in less than five minutes, allowing Kid to drop a knee for the pin at 5:45.

Rating: C. I wasn’t feeling this one as much as it came off more like the villains screwing up more than Kid and Smith winning. They idea of Kid and Smith being in trouble and having to overcome adversity was fine, but it didn’t feel like they were better. The Assassin and Negro seemed to run out of ideas rather quickly and that only helped the good guys so much.

From Superstars, June 1, 1996.

New Rockers vs. Hardy Boyz

The entrances let commentary plug the Ultimate Warrior’s comic book and you can hear Vince hating it. Cassidy and Matt start things off with Cassidy easily taking him down. Jeff is pulled in and the Hardys are sent outside, setting up some dives and….I guess dancing from the Rockers. Commentary isn’t sure what is wrong with Jannetty and that is an essay question we don’t have time to answer.

Jeff’s bandanna is pulled over his eyes to keep up the beating. Cassidy gets in a nasty spinning belly to belly and a double elbow drops Jeff for two. The Rockers get Jeff up for a kind of Alley Oop/top rope bulldog combination (which doesn’t really work for the most part) for the pin at 3:41.

Rating: C+. Total destruction and it’s bizarre to see, but the Hardys would wind up being fine while the New Rockers are a punch line. The Rockers were little more than a running joke and they weren’t going to be a big deal, but they were still decent enough in the ring. This was more of a case of the Hardys being a detail, but you have to start somewhere.

From the Global Wrestling Federation, April 17, 1992.

Ebony Experience vs. Brute Force

This might be interesting as you might not know which is the important team. In this case it would be the Experience, who would show up in WCW the next year as Harlem Heat. If you’ve never heard of Global….well just be lucky actually, as it was not very good. Booker is backed up to the ropes by #1 to start as Gorgeous Gary Young joins commentary to scout. Stevie comes in with a double clothesline to clear the ring. #2 comes in and gets kneed in the face as Young isn’t overly impressed so far.

Booker gets clotheslined down but pops up with the yet to be named Spinarooni, only to get taken into the wrong corner. Commentary remembers that Brute Force are actually Slammer and Jammer (I’m guessing someone gave him a note) as Booker misses a charge into the corner. Jammer (I guess, though I can’t imagine it matters) misses a dropkick but avoids a clothesline. Booker is back up with a clothesline, allowing the tag off to Ray (commentary gets the Experience confused) as everything breaks down. Jammer shoves the referee down and it’s a DQ at 5:54.

Rating: C-. While this wasn’t the team’s debut (they had begun teaming in the late 80s), it was their first spot in a bigger promotion. You could see the team working together well, which makes sense for brothers. Brute Force was….well hey did you see the Experience? They were pretty good.

Post match we get a tease of an interview with BARRY HOROWITZ but we have to go to the next match. Dang it that’s such an unfair tease.

From a Wrestling Challenge dark match, April 5, 1993.

Kip Winchester/Barry vs. Barry Horowitz/Reno Riggins

I’m guessing the ring announcer got confused, as Winchester’s partner is named Brett Colt and the team will eventually be known as the Smoking Gunns (the better known Billy and Bart Gunn names would come with their next dark match). We take a good while for the Gunns to be ready and the women REALLY seem to approve. Or maybe they’re fans of Horowitz’s mullet. Either way, Billy (er, Kip) grabs a headlock, followed by a hiptoss into an armbar. Bart (er…eh I did that joke already) comes in to stay on the arm and an assisted Russian legsweep gets two.

Riggins avoids a crossbody and Bart is taken into the wrong corner so the alternating beatdowns can ensue. Horowitz’s catapult sends him into the bottom rope and a northern lights suplex gets two. The abdominal stretch goes on for a bit, followed by Horowitz’s jawbreaker for two more. The chinlock is broken up and a collision gives us a double down. Billy comes in to clean house with some dropkicks and a powerslam plants Riggins. A spinning side slam plants Riggins again and Billy hits a not great looking top rope bulldog for the pin at 8:41 (and Barry is suddenly Brett Colt).

Rating: C. The Gunns were basically what they would become right out of the gate and that’s fine. The cowboy trope has been done for decades in wrestling and it still works here. Throw in something like the cap guns they fired off before the match and you easily get the idea of the team. It’s not a good or memorable match at all, but it was a case of what you see is what you get, which is fine.

From WCW TV, June 10, 1989.

Steiner Brothers vs. The Raider/Snake Brown

The Steiners had already had some house show matches but close enough. Also, Raider is Randy Barber, who was in the Road Warriors’ first match as well. Rick has a big fan in the crowd and gives her his jacket in a nice moment. Scott powerslams Raider down and gives hands it off to Rick, who runs both of them over. The Steiners clear the ring, allowing Rick to jump onto Scott’s back for a bit. Brown comes in and gets caught with Scott’s spinning belly to belly, followed by Rick’s overhead version. An elbow gives Rick the pin at 1:47.

Post match the Varsity Club comes in and get beaten up in a hurry before their match at the Clash Of Champions the next week.

From OVW TV, April 17, 2004.

Joey Matthews/Johnny Nitro vs. Matt Cappotelli/Maven

Melina is here with Matthews and Nitro. We’re joined in progress with Matthews getting beaten down and sent outside for the introductions and opening bell. Matthews gets elbowed in the face by Maven, allowing Cappotelli to come in for a legdrop. A double clothesline drops Nitro and Matthews with Nitro bailing to the floor. That lets Nitro hide behind Melina and Matthews gets in a cheap shot from behind.

Back in and a bridging northern lights suplex gets two on Cappotelli, allowing Nitro to come in. An uppercut to the back of the neck gets two but Matthews accidentally crashes into Nitro. Cappotelli bulldogs his way over to Maven to clean house, including a missile dropkick for two on Nitro with Matthews making the save. Melina comes in to rake Maven’s eyes and Nitro’s spinning fisherman’s suplex finishes at 4:50.

Rating: C. Now this was a case where the team had a lot of development to go, as MNM was pretty much just there in name only. They were all there, but they didn’t have the look or gimmick whatsoever. That would come in time, but for now it was pretty much Morrison’s athleticism carrying things. As for the match, you’re in a bit of trouble when Maven is your biggest star.

From Main Event, September 16, 2021 (oddly enough the last episode I watched when I was regularly covering Main Event).

Humberto Carrillo/Angel Garza vs. Lucha House Party

Carrillo and Garza (Los Garza) being introduced as “iconic” is more than a bit of a stretch. Carrillo and Metalik trade some armdrags to start before Dorado comes in with a top rope hurricanrana. The pop up dropkick sends Garza outside and the Party hit stereo flip dives as we take a break.

We come back with Metalik hitting a top rope splash for two and grabbing a chinlock on Carrillo. That’s broken up and it’s back to Garza for a backbreaker. Carrillo suplexes Metalik for two more but Metalik is back with a super hurricanrana. Dorado gets the tag and cleans some house, including a running headscissors to Garza. A nice superkick sets up a high crossbody for two, followed by the Golden Rewind. Metalik’s moonsault sets up Dorado’s moonsault for two as Garza makes the save. Garza comes in, TAKES OFF HIS PANTS, and hits the Wing Clipper for the pin at 6:02.

Rating: C+. This was one of the better matches thus far, which shouldn’t be a surprise as it takes a bit more time to get to WWE TV (as low as Main Event might be) than some of the other places these matches have aired. Carrillo and Garza are far from “iconic”, but I guess they needed to fill in some time. The House Party is something that can work at pretty much any time and they were starting to click when they were split up.

From an AWA house show, April 19, 1987.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Nasty Boys vs. Curt Hennig/Greg Gagne

The Nastys (Brian Knobbs and Jerry Saganowich (his real name), as they were still workshopping the whole thing) are in their second match together, which I think we can call close enough. Hennig and Knobbs start things off with Knobbs ducking a right hand, which hits Gagne instead.

Back up and Hennig stares at Knobbs a bit before Knobbs drops him with a shoulder. Sags comes in and gets caught with a running dropkick into an armdrag as apparently Knobbs is the key to the team. It’s back to Knobbs for a clothesline so Sags comes back in. That’s fine with Hennig, as he and Gagne take turns working on the leg. Gagne sits on the leg and grabs a standing Figure Four.

With that broken up, so Gagne kicks the leg out again and cranks away. More kicks finally draw Knobbs in for the save before he gets in legally, with a headlock takeover to Hennig. Sags distracts the referee so Knobbs can choke away in the corner but Hennig gets in a shoulder for the double down. The stereo tags bring in Gagne and Sags, with the former getting in a double noggin knocker. The dropkick hits Sags and Hennig’s missile dropkick finishes at 10:54.

Rating: C+. The Nasty Boys weren’t really close to what they would become here, as they more or less wrestled a really basic match rather than their traditional brawling style. Putting them in there with a team as experienced as Hennig and Gagne was smart as they can help with anyone, though the Boys had a long way to go. That being said, they picked it up fast, which is all the more impressive.

From (I believe) WWC, October 14, 1987.

Wild Samoans vs. Miguel Ramos/Sabu

It isn’t the famous Samoans, but rather Fatu and Samu, who would become known as the Headshrinkers. It’s also not the famous Sabu, but rather the wrestler who would be better known as Invader #1. Samu takes Sabu back into to the corner to start and gives him an early slam. A spinwheel kick drops Sabu again and it’s off to Fatu for a belly to back suplex/clothesline combination. Ramos comes in and is immediately knocked down for a falling headbutt. With Sabu knocked to the floor, a belly to back superplex sets up a Superfly Splash to give Fatu the pin at 4:09.

Rating: C. This was kind of a weird pick as the team was pretty much nothing like what they would become. This was more the Samoan Gangster Party under a different name and as a longtime Headshrinkers fan, I’m glad they made the change. The top rope splash looked great as usual though, and stuff like that was enough to give the team a chance.

From Championship Wrestling, April 20, 1985.

Hart Foundation vs. Mario Mancini/SD Jones

Jimmy Hart is here with the Foundation. Neidhart powers Jones up against the ropes to start and they trade some shoves. Mancini comes in to work on the arm and is quickly forearmed down. Hart adds a dropkick and rakes Mancini’s eyes over the rope. The Hart Attack finishes at 2:39. Total squash, with the finish looking great of course.

From OVW TV, May 24, 2006.

Southern Tag Team Titles: Cryme Tyme vs. Kasey James/Roadkill

James and Roadkill are defending. James and the Neighborhoodie (JTG) start things off with the latter grabbing some early slams. Neighborhoodie leapfrogs him and stops to dance, only to walk into a slam from James. Roadkill comes in for a World’s Strongest Slam but a Vader Bomb misses. It’s off to Gaspard to kick Roadkill down for two and Neighborhoodie adds a pop up splash in the corner.

Roadkill fights out of the corner without too much trouble though and it’s back to James to pick up the pace. Gaspard is there to cut him off before missing a splash. That’s enough for Roadkill to come back in and clean house, including a Boss Man Slam for two on Neighborhoodie. Everything breaks down with James and then Roadkill hitting some running corner splashes. Roadkill’s top rope splash connects but cue Cherry for a distraction. Deuce N Domino run in with Cherry’s skates to knock Roadkill silly and put Neighborhoodie on top for the pin and the titles at 6:25.

Rating: C. This was a rather odd choice to end on, as Cryme Tyme was more of a product of their time than anything remotely important long term. The Neighborhoodie was basically the same as he would be as JTG, while Gaspard needed some adjustments. The gimmick didn’t seem to be there yet either, but that’s the point of being in developmental.

Overall Rating: C+. The thing to remember here is that these were the teams’ first (or close enough) appearances. They all needed to be fine tuned to become the versions that would work during their heydays. That being said, for what is in essence a bunch of prequels, this was a fun look back, even with some rather odd choices for teams. They could easily do something else like this, and that’s something I could definitely see happening with the way the Vault goes.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

I’ve gotten into the loot crate style stuff as of late and started doing the Cheap Heat version of Pro Wrestling Crate (doesn’t include a shirt, which is fine as I don’t wear wrestling shirts). This month’s theme was tag teams and it came with a DVD, which is always worth a look.

The DVD was Pro Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Teams and it seems to be an original DVD for the crate (AEW is mentioned so it’s certainly not a reissue). It’s a pretty standard format: an hour(ish) long countdown of the ten best teams of all time, though your rankings may be a bit off. In something that shouldn’t surprise you, it seems to be a lot more “here are the ten teams we have footage of/footage of people talking about them”.

The Lucha Bros and the Young Bucks made the list, which should tell you a bit about where this is going. On the other hand, a few teams missing include the Hart Foundation, the British Bulldogs, Edge and Christian and Nick Bockwinkel and Ray Stevens. In other words, it’s a VERY odd selection of teams included, though some of them aren’t exactly shocking. Granted considering that the back of the case lists the top ten (plus some honorable mentions) in order, it isn’t much of a surprise at all.

Overall, for an hour long DVD, it’s fine for a one off watch but don’t expect anything new or mind blowing. The whole set included the DVD, a Revival pin and a signed photo of the Rock N Roll Express, which isn’t bad at all for about $10. I’ll be continuing these as they come out monthly as it’s always nice to get out of the WWE bubble for a little bit.

After the big push last year, we’re back down to HELL NO vs. the Scholars again and the same formula that has been used for years now.  At the end of the day, the division isn’t going to last long term and there’s really no way around that.  The TNA tag division is dead again now too with just the champions and apparently a thrown together team of two main eventers.

This is one of the things that fans always say needs to happen. I mean you hear it CONSTANTLY, and now it seems like this is actually happening. What I don’t really understand is why this is something that so many people want. When you think back, there haven’t been very many times when there was a strong tag team division. There’s a strong case to be made that it’s only happened once in WWF history. Today we’re going to take a look at the tag team division and why people want it back so much. Let’s get to it.

There’s no argument to be made that the pinnacle of tag team wrestling in the WWF is the late 80s. In that time you had teams like the Hart Foundation, Demolition, the British Bulldogs, the Dream Team, the Killer Bees, the Powers of Pain, Strike Force, the Brainbusters, and I could probably come up with at least half a dozen more. There were TONS of teams that could win the titles at any given moment.

Then around 1991, things changed and they changed in a hurry. There were four men that caused these changes and basically killed tag team wrestling in the company forever. We’ll start with the obvious two: Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels. After Wrestlemania 7, the Hart Foundation (as well as Demolition) split up. Neidhart (we’ll get back to him later in a tangent) would go on to do nothing of note while Bret would get a push that would last for the next six years.

In the fall of that year, another team was starting to have some issues. This team was known as the Rockers and was comprised of Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty. They were hitting their peak as a team, showing continuity the likes of which were rarely seen in the WWF, before Shawn started having a big head. It seemed that the team was on the verge of splitting when they met face to face on the set of the talk show The Barber Shop in December of 1991.

On that show, in probably the most famous tag team split ever, Shawn Michaels superkicked Marty and rammed him face first through a window, completely splitting the team and establishing himself as the a fast rising heel. Shawn would also go on to greatness, feuding with Bret on and off for five years while putting together one of the greatest in ring careers of all time.

This is where the whole division started to fall apart. Instead of building teams for the sake of having teams, it was about putting two guys together to recreate the kind of breakup that Shawn and Marty had, or splitting them off like the Harts and finding the new Bret Hart. What the company didn’t get was that it wasn’t the split that made the new guys big stars, but rather the fact that Bret and Shawn are two of the most talented wrestlers of all time.

Look to modern tag team wrestling for proof of this. Well by modern I mean about three years ago but you get the idea. When Miz and Morrison split up, the crux of their feud was over which one of them would be the Jannetty. Just the idea of which would be a success (and dang were most people, myself included, wrong on which one would be the star of the team) was enough to warrant a feud.

This brings me back to Neidhart and that tangent I mentioned earlier: why is the weak member of a team called the Jannetty? I’ve touched on this before, but Jim Neidhart is WAY more of a dud than Marty Jannetty was after his team split. Once the Rockers split, Marty won a tag team title of his own with the 1-2-3 Kid and he won it seven months before Shawn did. Jannetty also won an Intercontinental Title, beating Shawn in a match that won Match of the Year from PWI.

Now by comparison, what in the world did Jim Neidhart ever do without Bret as his partner? He never won a title, he never had a memorable match, he never had any notable success AT ALL in the WWF without Bret. None. He was Owen’s lackey in 1994 and was part of the Hart Foundation in 1997, but other than that, Neidhart did NOTHING. If you want to talk about a team with two guys having completely opposite careers after the split, it’s Bret and Neidhart, not Michaels and Jannetty.

Back to the subject of what killed the tag division, there are two other men that had a big role in this: Hawk and Animal, the Legion of Doom. Now before I get into this, I want to make it clear that I was a HUGE LOD fan. I had an LOD hat, I had an LOD shirt, I ate Legion of Doom cereal, and yes that really existed. However, there came a point where there was no one that was going to be able to beat the LOD and everyone knew it.

Think about it: what tag team could give a legitimate challenge to the Legion of Doom? This was a team that had gone toe to toe with the Horsemen in the NWA and now were here, beating up everyone in sight, including the formerly dominant team of Demolition (how those two never had a big PPV match is one of the great wrestling mysteries of our time). As cool as the LOD was, there are only so many places you can go with them as champions.

At the same time the LOD was on top, the competition REALLY dried up as well. You only had a handful of other teams, with names like the Beverly Brothers, the Natural Disasters, and the team that took the titles from the LOD (in a match that was specifically never filmed), Money Inc. That’s kind of a far cry from Demolition, the British Bulldogs and the Brainbusters.

After that, the tag division went into a total funk in the 90s, with teams like the Smoking Guns and Owen/Yokozuna and a bunch of other pairings that most people don’t remember dominating things. Then we reached the more modern version of tag team wrestling in late 1997 when on Shotgun Saturday Night (a show that deserves to be looked up by you Attitude Era fans), two guys said they were tired of fighting each other and decided to team up.

These two were former multiple time tag team champion Billy Gunn and the Road Dogg Jesse James, who formed the team known as the New Age Outlaws. The Outlaws would dominate tag team wrestling for the next two years, winning five tag titles, a record at the time. To give you an idea of how dominant the Outlaws were by comparison, other than them, no team from May of 1997 to June of 2003 held the titles for longer than three months. La Resistance, the team that broke that streak, won them after the brand split when there were two sets of titles.

The Outlaws lost their final title in February of 2000 to a new team called the Dudley Boyz, kicking off what is incorrectly considered a renaissance of the tag team division. Over the fourteen months, the Hardy Boys, Edge and Christian, and the Dudleys won a combined thirteen tag titles, with the final change between the teams coming at Wrestlemania X7. Between February of 2000 and April of 2001 (X7), three teams (Right to Censor, Too Cool and Rock/Undertaker) combined to hold the titles for 62 days. Other than that, it was all Dudleys/Hardys/Edge and Christian.

So what does this tell us about this period? It tells us that this was not a renaissance or a rebirth of the division. It was a three way feud that was incredibly popular for how action packed the matches were. This was a fresh idea because the Outlaws followed the Nash/Hall formula of being tag team champions: they rarely defended the titles.

Now the Outlaws defended them a lot more often, but how many times do you distinctly remember them defending the belts? How many of those defenses do you remember lasting five minutes? In the Attitude Era, you very rarely got a long match, so seeing Edge/Christian, the Hardys and the Dudleys going out and having fifteen minute matches that were pretty awesome was a new thing for the division and it made the titles look greater than they were.

As always with a great feud, at some point it becomes stale, which is what happened once Edge and Christian broke up. You can only run the Hardys vs. the Dudleys so many times before no one cares anymore, and by the end of 2001, not many people did. After that, the tag titles fell through the floor with no one caring about them on Raw or their counterparts on Smackdown (other than the end of 2002 and early 2003 on the blue show) for the better part of the decade.

This brings us to now, with a bunch of new teams being brought together to feud for the one set of titles. As of this writing (September 26, 2012), there are currently at least eight teams that are established and could be champions. Bryan and Kane are hilarious as champions, but the question becomes what happens once their hot streak ends, will anyone care about the titles anymore? History would say no, but if the teams are given a chance to get out there and show off a bit, maybe it could last for awhile. It’s too early to say but it’s the best chance in awhile.

In short, the division has only really worked once and that was back in the 80s when there was a ton of talent to be put throughout the division. Since then, there never has been an extended period of time where tag team wrestling in the company has worked. In the early 2000s, there were three teams who dominated everything and that is not a division no matter how you look at it. Today, there seems to be a chance of a division coming together a little bit, but it still certainly isn’t for sure. It hasn’t worked in over 20 years, so odds are it won’t work now.

Ring of Honor
Date: November 12, 2011
Location: Davis Arena, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuiness

It’s the final final week of the tapings from the first batch of Louisville shows. They’ve taped five more weeks so they have a lot more material ready. The main event tonight is the House of Truth vs. the American Wolves so we have some stories going on here. There isn’t much else to say here so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s tag team stuff where it’s really hard to tell if the Briscos are faces or heels. I know they’re supposed to be heels but it’s really not clear.

Bravado Brothers vs. Young Bucks

The Bravado Brothers are controversial don’t you know. If you don’t know, Kelly will tell you. Their names are Lancelot and Harlem. Ok then. The Bucks are Generation Me and we get a reference to them being “disrespected” by Booker T at the WWF taping. The Bravados look a bit flamboyant which you should get the meaning of in wrestling speak. Harlem vs. Nick to start us off with Harlem hammering away.

The Bucks take over with their arm work but the problem comes down to the same thing I believe Lance Storm says: they look like they’d be better suited to date a 15 year old than to beat up grown men. The Bucks clear the ring and at least have better looking attire than what they had in TNA. Lancelot takes over with an axe kick and a blue thunder bomb for two on Matt.

There’s a bicycle kick as I’m pretty much just guessing which of these guys is which. Harlem (thank you Kevin) hits a big flip die to take out both of the Bucks, getting two on Jeremy (I can’t remember their ROH names or their TNA names. Does it really matter?). A double team move gets two on let’s say Nick. The Bravados are Native Americans so we hear about great Native American wrestlers like Jack Brisco and Wahoo McDaniel and Tatanka. Kelly: “Don’t laugh!”

Nick does his speed dives and the Bucks take over. They hit More Bang For Your Buck (rolling fireman’s carry slam followed by a 450 followed by a moonsault) for the pin on Harlem at 6:10. The finishing sequence is cool but I still have no idea what their names are, which probably isn’t a good thing.

Rating: C. Fun match but ROH has no right to EVER complain about WWE guys having cookie cutter personalities. These guys all look alike and I have no idea what their names are, nor do I have and desire to learn. This being pretty short with the right idea as it kept the high spots in the right span of time and the match was fine for what it was.

The tag champs say they’ll beat the Briscos. Here’s the All Night Express who says they’ve been forgotten about. I think that’s because the Briscos beat them in back to back matches. Kenny calls the WGTT a couple of ducks. Never let him near a mic again. Please. Titus says nothing of note. What in the world was the point of this segment?

Time for Inside ROH to waste more time. This time it’s about Kevin Steen, whom we’ve needed an explanation about for awhile now. We see him turning on his partner El Generico and how Steve Corino was the one pulling his strings. They feuded a bunch of times and had a career vs. mask match where Generico beat him.

Since a contract means nothing in wrestling, Steen wants to come back now. Corino realized the error of his ways and tried to mentor people. Steen came to a show (Best in the World, which I think we’ve seen in its entirety given how much they’ve shown from it) to apologize. And of course he beat up everyone in the ring at the time, namely Corino. Steen tried to beat up the owner at some show but is now threatening to sue Cornette. The whole contract thing really does mean nothing in wrestling does it?

More talking as Lethal says Mike Bennett needs to stop saying he beat Lethal.

Steve Corino says there’s a monster in the form of Kevin Steen and Corino just needs five minutes of Cornette’s time.

Video on Roderick Strong vs. Kyle O’Reilly from a few weeks ago as this feud takes forever to get anywhere.

Michael Elgin/Roderick Strong vs. American Wolves

Here’s ANOTHER break before the match. It’s a brawl to start as we have a ton of time on this show. That’s just what I want: a long Davey Richards match. Richards is sent to the floor and I think we’re starting with elgin vs. Edwards. Richards goes up and hits a missile dropkick for two. Off to the champ and it’s time for strikes! Off to Elgin as McGuiness admits that Richards isn’t much of a draw.

Edwards gets beaten down for awhile but it’s off to Richards who kicks more. Would a headlock be too much to ask for? A Tajiri Elbow is countered into Abyss’ Shock Treatment backbreaker for two. Off to Elgin and Richards shrugs off a bunch of chops and punches. Strong hits a dropkick to take over and it’s back to Elgin. Richards sends both guys to the floor and it’s a blind tag to Edwards. Here are stereo dives to take the heels out as we run down house shows.

Back in and Eddie hits a bad enziguri to Strong for two. An over the shoulder Stunner hits and it’s off to a half crab which Edwards calls an Achilles hold for some reason. They fight to the apron and Strong drops him down onto the apron with a belly to back suplex. After a break Elgin is suplexing Edwards. Powerslam gets two. Edwards gets a double knee smash to both guys and it’s off to Richards.

RICHARDS USES SOMETHING OTHER THAN A STRIKE!!! I need my medicine! Kelly puts over ROH as the real wrestling company as Richards rolls through to an ankle lock because that’s his finishing move even if it makes no sense from a psychology perspective. A German gets two on Elgin. The Wolves go up but both miss and a sidewalk slam gets two for Elgin.

Edwards is down from being shoved off the top and the idiot fans say this is awesome. Elgin picks up both Wolves at once and slams them down to put all four guys down. They slug it out (of course) and the ROH fans all drool over how stupid these strikes are. The Wolves hit a pair of double stomps off the top for two on Elgin. An ankle lock doesn’t beat Elgin again and we miss whatever big move Elgin hits as the camera was on Edwards and Strong. Martini tries to cheat as Elgin has Richards pinned. The same thing happens while Edwards chokes Elgin out. Richards gets the pin at 18:08.

Rating: C-. I know I’ve said this a million times, but I can’t stand Richards and this striking style that is all he knows how to do. This was nearly a 20 minute match and the world champion used a total of 3 moves that weren’t strikes of some kind. Are you kidding me? This guy is supposed to be the best in the world? If I wanted to watch striking, I’d watch a karate fight. There’s a lot more to wrestling than striking, but ROH and Edwards in particular can’t comprehend that.

Overall Rating: D. This was one of the worst put together TV shows I’ve seen in a very long time. I mean, what were they thinking when they put this together? ROH needs to get it through their heads that they have an hour a week and that you can’t have these twenty minute matches and 15 minute talking segments every show. It’s a bad used of your TV time as you could easily fit another match in there instead. But hey, we got STRIKES right?

Results
Young Bucks b. Bravado Brothers – More Bang For Your Buck to Harlem
American Wolves b. Michael Elgin/Roderick Strong – Richards pinned Elgin after a dragon sleeper

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Battlebowl
Date: November 20, 1993
Location: Pensacola Civic Center, Pensacola, Florida
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

This is another of Dusty’s brilliant ideas that never really worked after the first time which was only because Sting was the star of the show. At least this year they didn’t have it at Starrcade. The idea is we take something like 32 names and draw them out for “random” tag matches. The 16 winners have a battle royal to win…..well to win the battle royal. There are no other matches on the card and since this is back in the days before Flair got the booking power, the matches all get at least 8 minutes and in some cases more. This is going to be painful. Let’s get to it.

Everyone gets in a quick line about what the show is about. Just like something for the Rumble would go, but for once this isn’t a ripoff.

Tony says there are 40 men in the back, meaning that 8 guys aren’t going to be out here. They’re going for a ring apparently. Don’t you feel the desire to win that??? We’re also told that Muta, the previous winner, isn’t here. Riveting.

Gene and a French maid named Fifi read the names. Barring a funny line or something I likely won’t mention that we go back to them to announce a match as they’re just drawing them out of a tumbler.

Vader/Cactus Jack vs. Charlie Norris/Kane

Vader is world champion here and he and Jack hate each other. Vader SHOVES this guy out of his chair to get here which is awesome. And no that’s not the more famous Kane. This was originally going to be his partner Kole, but Kane took his place. They would soon change their names to Booker T and Stevie Ray and would have some more success. Norris just flat out sucks and everyone knows he does.

Cactus and Vader brawl on the ramp to start us off. Yeah this is going to be one of those nights you can already tell. Norris runs down and Vader just ends him with a punch. Kane (Stevie Ray) and Jack start us off. Vader won’t get in the ring but Race yells at him to get him in. Cactus is a face here and getting very popular and far better for his insane style and improving match style. Of course he was released as soon as Hogan got there because we can’t have young talented and popular guys on our roster!

Norris is tall. That’s about all he’s got going for him and he would be out of the company more or less right after this. Vader Bomb gets a big pop as Norris gets flattened. Cactus hits him with a front flip as this is a squash so far. Jack hits a very weak belly to back suplex on Norris for two. Kane can’t even throw a proper clothesline. The referee calls a tag before the tag actually happens but whatever.

Tony wants every match to be hardcore. Is he Vince Russo all of a sudden? Norris is absolutely horrible. Cactus gets a double arm DDT from nowhere to bring us back to even. Norris hits a top rope chop to Vader who just shrugs it off. Vader gets some face pops here despite being the top heel in the company. That’s how hated Norris was. Vader falls down while powerbombing Norris’ fatness but gets the pin anyway.

Rating: D. Match was boring even with Cactus and Vader in there. Nothing at all happened as we were just standing around doing nothing for the most part. Norris was terrible and thankfull he was gone soon after this. There was zero drama here as we had two guys that mean nothing vs. the main event of Halloween Havoc. Who do you think is going to win here?

Brian Knobbs/Johnny B. Badd vs. Paul Roma/Erik Watts

Watts is the son of Bill Watts and is AWFUL. He’s here because of his daddy and absolutely nothing else. Something tells me this is going to be absolutely awful. Roma is a Horseman here for no apparent reason at all. No entrance music at all for any guy which is odd to see. The Nasty Boys are tag champions here so Knobbs isn’t happy here. The main attraction here is how bad can Watts be.

Badd and Roma, the more talented guys on their teams (keep in mind that Badd is rather young here and hasn’t hit his stride just yet) start us off. Roma is in long white tights here which just looks completely out of place for a heel. At least I think he’s a heel. Based on commentary he’s a face. It’s a bit confusing since almost everyone hated him. He can’t even do a backdrop. Decent dropkick though.

Comedy time as Watts is here. Watts hits a dropkick to the elbow to put Knobbs on the floor. Badd comes in to try to save this and they shake hands. We transition from that to hearing about Cactus Jack being a spiritual advisor, which translates into talking about manager of the year. LOTS of basic stuff from all four guys which is the problem. There’s no flow at all to the match. Badd will do ok and then Knobbs will come in and screw everything up.

None of the wrestling is any good but whatever. To say Watts is limited in the ring is the understatement of the year. Roma gets a powerslam for what would be two but Missy has the referee. She manages the Nasty Boys which I think I forgot to mention. This has been going almost ten minutes already, which is the problem with these shows. The matches go on forever because we have nothing else to air, but the matches completely suck more often than not.

We waste a bunch of time to do nothing at all on the floor. Tony talks a bit like a heel and Jesse says how proud he is of him. They speculate that the winner tonight will have a title shot more than likely, be it the TV Title, the US Title or the World Title. I’m not sure which to make fun of: the statement or the match. Watts gets the hot tag and he unleashes his clotheslines. The announcers argue about some quarterback whose name I missed as Knobbs rolls through a cross body and uses the tights for the pin.

Rating: D-. This got 13 minutes for no apparent reason other than WCW was mad at us or something I guess. Watts never was any good and you can’t blame him for being thrown out there when he flat out wasn’t ready. They never got out of doing basic stuff for nearly 13 minutes. If this was like 5 minutes long it’s bearable, but just way too long and not nearly enough talent to go around.

Shockmaster/Paul Orndorff vs. Ricky Steamboat/Steven Regal

Well the second team is stacked if nothing else. Orndorff is passable so maybe Shockmaster (Tugboat if you’re not familiar for some reason) can be outside most of the time. Steamboat gets by far the biggest reaction of the night so far, which to be fair isn’t saying much. Regal is I think TV Champion here. He held it enough times so we’ll go with that. The announcer saying he’s TV Champion helps a bit too.

LOUD Paula chant to start us off. Orndorff just looks old here. Regal looks downright British. The two more talented guys start us off, and by that I mean Steamboat for his team. This is before Regal got into drugs so heavily and was still very thin. Jesse starts his political jokes as you can tell he wanted to get into that more. We head to the floor and Steamboat is in trouble for all of 8 seconds.

Shocky looks almost clueless out there. He finally comes in and here’s Regal to meet him. In a great heel move he wipes his hands before he gets in. I still can’t get over that being Bill Dundee as his manager. Shocky lifts him up and sits him on the top, patting his head. That was amusing. This ends the entertaining part of his contribution to the match. After a slam he tags out to give us heel vs. heel.

They do very little beyond basics, but Sir William shouting up WELL DONE SIR is kind of amusing for some reason. Regal hooks a full nelson as Jesse thinks we have a tag team here. Regal does a cartwheel. Can you imagine him doing that today without ripping apart every muscle in his body? Steamboat finally comes in and gets caught in a hot shot. Crowd is DEAD by the way.

The problem of this whole show appears again as nothing of note is happening as they’re just killing time since they have 9 matches to fill three hours and there are more or less no segments to fill in time. Regal won’t tag so Shocky makes him in a decent bit. The partners start fighting and an umbrella shot and a splash end Regal, sending Orndorff and Shocky to the final. Clearly the more talented combo!

Rating: D+. By far the best match tonight and even then it’s bad. Regal vs. Orndorff was the highlight….somehow, but the problem again becomes that the only story is face/heel issues, which get boring very quickly as they did here. This wasn’t much at all and it never got out of first gear…much like the other matches. I hate this show already.

Gene has handcuffs for some reason.

King Kong/Dustin Rhodes vs. Equalizer/Awesome Kong

Equalizer is more commonly known as Dave Sullivan. The Kongs are very fat men that both sucked beyond any sense of the word suck. Rhodes gets a decent reaction and he should as he’s the only one with anything resembling talent. The fat guys both wear masks so I can’t tell them apart. Rhodes is US Champion here, which I think he would lose to Austin at Starrcade.

Everyone just kind of stops talking here as the non Kongs start us off. About thirty seconds in the commentary is back as Dustin realizes he’s in over his head here with such little anything to work with. Awesome comes in and is so big you actually can’t see the referee behind him. They make Vader look small so naturally they heavily suck. They’re too light skinned to be the Headhunters. King doesn’t want to fight his partner so more or less it’s 3 on 1.

King comes in finally and beats up Equalizer. The crowd is so silent you can hear individual fans. They slug it out and then go back to just clawing at each others’ faces. Big shoulder block to take down Kong and both tag. Sunset flip gets two for Dustin and it breaks down. The Kongs ram heads and Dustin gets a bulldog on his opponent Kong and wins it.

Rating: D. Again with a weak match as Dustin more or less was a one man team. That’s good as he was the only one of the four that’s watchable. For you young guys he’s more commonly known as Goldust. You had three big guys out there and Dustin, none of which could do anything other than big pounding shots. This went nowhere at all and was boring on top of that. Thankfully it was very short though, so at least there’s that.

Sting/Jerry Sags vs. Keith Cole/Ron Simmons

Cole is half of a team called the Cole Twins that never went anywhere. Sting won the first Battlebowl and is the most popular wrestler in the company by far here. Simmons is on the very brink of a heel turn here but not quite there yet. Jesse gets a good shot in at Missy saying it’s hard to say which of them is Sags. Cole has a long blonde mullet-esque thing to the back of his head. It’s idiotic looking but whatever.

Cole and Sags start us off here. And we stall. That’s the sign of a bad match right off the bat. Ok make that Simmons is going to start. Cole did but he was only in the ring for like 4 seconds and never made contact. Nice dropkick by Simmons who used to be World Champion if you can believe that. We go to a completely random crowd shot during an armbar. Did the camera guy get bored or something?

The fans want Sting and I can’t say I blame them. Sags won’t tag him in of course, just because he’s an annoying pest. Simmons comes in to breathe a bit of life into the match but not much. And now we get Sting vs. Simmons, which is kind of awesome sounding. We get a clean break as Simmons really isn’t a heel yet so it’s ok. O’Connor Roll is totally messed up as this is more or less a standoff.

And now back to Keith Cole to end the interesting part of this match. Cole and Sags do absolutely nothing of note as we just kill time here. Sting comes in to wake up the crowd a bit and we go back to the interesting matchup of the whole match. Ron acts all heelish and the fans are far from thrilled to put it mildly. Hey look! More armbars! Cole is just bringing this match down so far it’s not even funny.

Sting beats up Cole with ease and hits the splash in the corner. Sags comes in because he can and hits a top rope elbow for the easy pin. Simmons beats the heck out of Cole after the match.

Rating: C-. On any other show this is probably lower but this show has been so bad that I’ll take what I can get here. Just more or less a nothing match though as the rest of them have been but this at least had something close to a story to it. The whole tag match deal is just REALLY annoying though and I’m bored with it. Naturally there’s nearly an hour of it to go because WCW hates me.

Ric Flair/Steve Austin vs. 2 Cold Scorpio/Maxx Payne

Ok this HAS to be good right? Austin is about the level of Dolph Ziggler at this point and I’m pretty sure Flair is a face at this point, so expect more tension. BIG reaction for Flair. Austin cost Flair the world title about ten days ago. Well of course he did. Payne’s head looks a bit like Undertaker which is kind of weird to say.

Austin and Payne start us off here. Payne is a grunge rocker more or less with long black hair and metal band t-shirts. He can wrestle though, and we hear about Flair vs. Vader at Starrcade. The fans want Flair here, which is odd as less than 5 years later Austin would be the biggest star in the world. Scorpio comes in while Flair yells at Austin. For those of you that have never seen him, go find some of Scorpio’s early to mid 90s stuff as he’s incredibly fun to watch. Basically imagine Morrison with some meat on his bones and a lack of botches with the gimmick of just being awesome.

The future Stone Cold hits the floor and he still looks weird with a star on his tights. Flair comes in again and just owns all. We shift into a far more traditional and old school style of tagging with Flair and Austin making Scorpio the face in peril. Flair with old school heel tactics never gets old, but since he’s more or less a natural heel it doesn’t make him look evil. That makes no sense to me either so don’t try to make sense out of it.

Flair and Austin of course go at it which doesn’t last long. TEXTBOOK suplex by Flair. Just absolute perfection there. Austin with a top rope elbow of all things for two. He was a totally different wrestler once Hart broke his neck. In a stupid looking move, Scorpio just kind of falls down, sending Austin stumbling into the corner. Flair and Payne come in and Flair can’t do anything. A running knee in the corner misses and the Figure Four ends it to a big pop. That’s basic psychology and again it works.

Rating: B-. See, THIS is how you do one of these things. There was a simple story here of two guys making something work and just doing their thing on Scorpio while keeping the bigger and stronger guy out. This was a very simple style, but there is one important thing it had going for it: it worked. Best match BY FAR up to this point and likely of the whole show.

Rick Rude/Shanghai Pierce vs. Marcus Bagwell/Tex Slazenger

Tex is Mideon and Shanghai is Henry Godwin under a mask. Rude is the International World Champion here which in essence is the NWA Title without the NWA. Why do announcers welcome us to a show an hour and a half into it? Are they thinking we got here late or something? Tony points out that we have more wrestlers than spots left in matches, meaning we won’t have everyone called.

Rude is a rather interesting case as he was rarely more than a comedy upper midcard guy but in WCW he was sent to the moon and would have been the regular world champion had it not been for his career ending back injury. The future WWF Tag Champions come in but no one actually does anything as Rude is brought back in.

Rather boring match so far with little happening, but Bagwell plays a decent enough face in peril. He makes a comeback and this isn’t too bad. I can’t remember a quieter crowd in forever though, which is a really bad sign methinks. The commentary stops again which I never got the first time. It’s WCW though so basic errors like these are expected.

This crowd is absolutely silent. It’s almost creepy in a way. Rude and Bagwell go at it and we hit the chinlock because this match hasn’t died enough already. Tony tries to tell us how the crowd is awesome but you can hear the wrestlers calling spots because the people are so quiet. Rude sends Bagwell to the floor while he’s not legal as the crowd FINALLY moves a bit.

Pierce wants a boot from Rude as this is turning into something close to a tag match. It’s still boring but at least we’ve got something going here. The team of heels beat on Bagwell and this is just boring. They switch without a tag and hit a chinlock. This goes on for the better part of eternity until Bagwell makes his comeback. Pierce with a SWEET gutwrench sitout powerbomb. That makes this match not a failure on its own.

Tex makes the save and the crowd wakes up a bit for the showdown between these two. They actually fight and kind of go insane with it. And then Rude makes a blind tag and hits the Rude Awakening to end it. He’s the only guy that has ever made that move look awesome.

Rating: D-. Literally that powerbomb was the only thing that keeps this from being a failure. This match just was boring and nothing of note ever happened. There were about 10 minutes of chinlocks here as of course they decided to give this 15 minutes. Who thought that was a good idea? I mean really, The Godwins and Bagwell and Rude in a 15 minute match. Horrible match but dang that was a cool looking move. Naturally it didn’t get a pin but whatever.

Jesse says it’s too early to pick a winner as we go to our last pairings.

Hawk/Rip Rogers vs. Davey Boy Smith/Kole

Kole is Booker T and Rogers is basically the guy that made OVW mean something. He gets beaten up on the ramp by all three guys as no one liked him and he was a jobber. This basically starts off as Hawk vs. both guys as Davey starts for his team. They make sure we know they’re friends and here we go. They do a bunch of clean breaks and really don’t do much at all.

Test of strength is a standoff and Booker more or less demands a tag. Rogers has a fight with his jacket on the ramp as Booker comes in. I love the face Bulldog saying hey Hawk, I know you’re my friend but I’m going to let this other guy come in and beat on you for no apparent reason. Smith cheers for Hawk as he fights back. Booker with the Spinarooni about 5 years before that had a name.

Rogers finally gets up and Booker smacks him down. Yet again there’s a mini story here but the match isn’t much. You know Rogers’ team is going to win here so why even bother with the false pretense? We hit the chinlock as Smith cheers on Hawk again. And just as I expected, Hawk picks up Rogers and throws him at Booker who can’t kick out for the pin. This would be like Santino getting there.

Rating: D. It’s another comedy match with nothing at all happening as Hawk and Smith wouldn’t fight each other and Rogers was in the match all of 9 seconds. This show just needs to end now as this was just another 8 minute match with a stupid ending. At least it was just 8 minutes I guess.

Battlebowl

Cactus Jack, Vader, Johnny B. Badd, Brian Knobbs, Shockmaster, Paul Orndorff, King Kong, Dustin Rhodes, Sting, Jerry Sags, Steve Austin, Ric Flair, Ric Rude, Shanghai Pierce, Hawk, Rip Rogers

This is just a battle royal with 16 men in int. Yeah that’s all there is going on here. Just to waste time the guys don’t start coming out until after the announcements are done. Rogers can barely move after earlier. Hawk vs. Vader isn’t as much of a train wreck as you’d expect. I really don’t like watching these matches for reviews as there’s nothing to call. Rogers is out first.

We do the split screen for no apparent reason. Oh it’s to show Rogers going out. Pierce is out second. It’s a lot of filling time as we’re about two hours into the show at this point. Badd is out and Penzer kind of messes up the elimination. It comes out as “Johnny B Badd……eliminated…….from Battlebowl.” Just sounded weird but it’s BY FAR the most interesting thing at the moment.

People are literally just standing there waiting on anything to happen. Someone goes out but something tells me it doesn’t matter. Kong is out. Shockmaster is out. Oh apparently the other guy was Cactus. Orndorff is out. That was very rapid fire and we have like 9 left or so. Sting goes to the ramp but that’s not an elimination because I guess that’s not the planned elimination for Sting.

Yeah 9 left and I don’t really care enough to count them all. The worst part is that there is some awesome talent in there (Sting, Flair, Vader, Rude, Rhodes, Austin, Nasty Boys and Hawk, so 6/9 are at least good) and this is still horrible. Actually the Nasties and Hawk are at their best in brawls so they’re all good in this kind of match. And yet it’s still boring somehow.

Everyone just kind of brawls around and nothing is happening at all. Dustin and Austin head to the floor to fight it out a bit. Flair and Vader fight it out which gets NO reaction at all. Rhodes is busted as Austin is back in now. Austin beats on Rhodes as we kind of pair off. For no reason at all Sting/Hawk would get a tag title shot at Starrcade (in a match that went THIRTY MINUTES and ended in a DQ) so they fight for awhile.

The fans are dying more every second. Rhodes puts out the Nasties and Austin puts him out in like 4 seconds to get us down to six. Rude and Hawk are out too so it’s Austin, Sting, Flair and Vader. There’s a great tag match in there somewhere. Race pulls Flair to the ramp and they slug it out a bit which brings a small smile to my face. Naturally no one says anything about their epic rivalry but that might be interesting so we’ll steer clear of it.

Everyone leaves the ring to fight on the ramp for awhile. No one went over the top so they’re all still in. Stuff like this makes my head hurt as it makes the whole match just seem completely pointless. Vader hits Flair with a splash on the ramp and gets stretchered out to take him out of the match. Now logical booking would have him come back and make a big heroic win by throwing Vader out to build drama to Starrcade. How much do you want to bet that doesn’t happen and Vader wins clean?

Back in the ring Vader and Austin both go for top rope splashes on Sting but the only face left fights them both off. He does what would become known as a spear to Vader as the fans chant Whomp There it is for no apparent reason. Vader splashes the heck out of Sting to take him down. Lots of splashes follow but Sting finally gets away and slugs it out with Austin.

He makes the Superman comeback and the chant starts up again for no apparent reason. That lasts about 30 seconds as they beat on him some more. Vader hurts his back on a Vader Bomb. A corner splash misses and Sting throws Austin to the ramp. Vader knocks him over and Austin falls off the ramp to eliminate him. That’s something I’d book in OCW.

This leaves us with Vader vs. Sting, with the logical booking being give it to Sting I guess so my money is on Vader. Sting does the falling headbutt into the groin spot which is one of my favorites. He gets the always awesome fireman’s carry of Vader. Sting’s strength is always underrated. Sting misses the Splash though and falls out so Vader wins to end the show.

Rating: D. A boring battle royal to end a boring show. Isn’t that appropriate? This was just a weak match that went on FAR too long. A 16 man battle royal got nearly half an hour. At least with 91 they had two rings so the double elimination thing ate up some time. This was just boring on so many levels.

Overall Rating: F+. This show isn’t so much bad as much as it’s painfully boring. The idea is fine but the problem with it is that you need more than one decent tag match to end the show. For one thing the whole idea was partner vs. partner at times and other than that it was just awkward pairings that never got anything going whatsoever.

Also having Vader win is freaking stupid. The champion wins a big match like this? It was dumb when Hogan did it in the Rumble and it’s dumb here. Just a completely boring show that never went anywhere at all. This show was DYING for another match or two to flesh out the card so we didn’t have all these matches get 12+ minutes. Note to promoters: long does not necessarily mean good. Definitely not worth seeing.